David Magazine V7-i21 | Suit Up

DAVID

MAY 24, 2023

V7-21

DAVID Magazine

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EDITORIAL

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Some Cute Guy

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Chris Azzopardi

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Whatever You Do

Don’t Touch Jeff Hiller’s Head

By Chris Azzopardi Photos: HBO

It’s hard to imagine Jeff Hiller making people mad. But in 2004, that was the 46-year-old comedian and actor’s job. It was his responsibility to get folks angry — those people being contestants on MTV’s hidden-camera reality show “Boiling Points” — and, as he remembers, “if they didn’t stand up for themselves and just took it, you would give them $100.” The point is, Hiller has moved onto bigger and brighter and less stressful (“I hate conflict”) things, from roles as a flight attendant on “30 Rock,” which he says still gets him recognized, to parts in “Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt,” the Pop TV sitcom “Nightcap” and, more recently, in “American Horror Story: NYC,” as a terrifying serial killer.

But it’s his role in “Somebody Somewhere,” as the endearingly playful Joel, the kind of loyal, loving friend who’s game for just about anything, that feels like a dream for the actor. Here, he happens to be best friends with Sam, played by cabaret performer and actress Bridget Everett. The HBO show, which is based on Everett’s life and just returned for a second season, examines grief through the lens of family, both chosen and blood. Ultimately, it’s Joel and Fred Rococo (comedian and NYC drag king performer Murray Hill) who help Sam feel most at home in her small Kansas town.

Recently, Hiller jumped on the phone to chat about Joel’s pursuit of love in the latest season of “Somebody Somewhere,” his extremely legit concern with sitting on a toilet for an extended amount of time for one particular scene and breaking new ground for queer characters on TV — this time, the kind who have a “touch of the fugs.”

Well, congratulations on the success of this show. I already feel like the second season’s picking up a lot of steam. I remember watching the first season and how it really resonated with me because my own chosen family has been my lifeline. What has your experience been with queer and ally chosen family? Well, I should say my exceptionally close nuclear family, I was always very close to because I was so bullied and didn’t really have any friends growing up. So I know this is very unusual for a gay man to say, but I was very close with my mother. [Laughs.] I’ll say that when I finally came to New York and I was in the comedy world, it

was so cis, hetero, male, white, which I know sounds like I fit into a lot of those categories, but I just don’t.

I would be on an improv team with all the queer people, all the women. We found each other because we needed each other because we were drowning in a sea of what we weren’t. So I absolutely agree. Chosen family is a lifeline. It’s the way that you survive. And I think that’s especially true when you’re in a red state and you have people who are maybe not nice to you at the grocery store. It helps a lot to have friends to play poker with in their basement.

How did finding your chosen family help you navigate the comedy world and the industry as a whole? They helped me find my voice, but even just logistically, if you look at my resume, there are so many roles on my IMDB page that you can directly trace to... It’s all women. Just because it’s basically any woman who got a show out of Upright Citizens Brigade put me on it because we had a bond.

Your involvement in “Somebody Somewhere” doesn’t stray too far from the trend. So true. [Bridget] just wasn’t at UCB but other than that.

In the second season, Joel goes on a romantic journey. What was it like exploring that?

It was really great. I’ve never played anything romantic. I mean, don’t get me wrong, Chris.

You know how to light a candle. Oh, I have loved and left. You know what I’m saying? [Laughs.] But I haven’t ever played that. And so it was a little scary, but it was also obviously thrilling and fun. And I love, love, love working with Tim Bagley. I know this word gets thrown around a lot, but he’s a bit of an icon in the queer comedy world. And we kiss. And the intimacy coordinator, who was this really wonderful person, and they were great, but they contacted me and asked, “The kiss is coming up, is there anything that you don’t want? You could say, if you don’t want him to touch your head.” And I was like, “Oh wow. That’s fine. I guess don’t touch my head. Sure.” And then they went to Tim and they were like, “Jeff would like you to not touch his head.” So anyway, now Tim thinks I’m just some sort of weirdo who was like, “My

Photos by: Russ Bowen-Youngblood

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Continue to page 16, and check back next week for MORE!

RIPTIDE RIIPPTTIIDDE E

head is my erogenous zone. Please leave it alone.”

Outside of that experience, what was it like working with an intimacy coordinator?

They were actually very helpful in just navigating, even with the poop scene, just being like, “Can you put the camera down when we cut?” Which I hadn’t even considered, but I was like, “Yeah, I guess that’s better to not have the monitors show me standing up with my butt out.”

Speaking of the bathroom scene, how do you get through a scene like that? You were probably really busting a gut. I guess I shouldn’t say that. Not the right turn of phrase.

I think that was the perfect one. [Laughs.] Well, before I saw the episode, a couple of people were like, “Wow, that scene was really a lot.” And I was like, “It wasn’t that bad.” And then when I saw it with the sound effects, I was like, “Oh my god.” I was like, “Oh, this is very vulnerable.”

How did it feel to strip down and be so raw in that moment?

Honestly, during the moment I was like, “Don’t actually poop. Don’t actually poop.” You got your bare butt on a real toilet.

Do you have a gauge on what Joel means to smalltown rural queers who don’t get this kind of representation?

I have had some folks reach out, and I feel like we’ve had a lot of great shows, which by the way, I watched and loved, about sexy gay people, like “Queer as Folk” and “Looking.”

They weren’t pooping on camera. Exactly. [Laughs.] This is my pioneer moment. Move over Rosa Parks; I had one too. That’s terrible. That’s such a tacky joke. Anyway, my point is I think it’s just nice to see someone who isn’t perfect on TV. And I mean that in lots of different ways. I’m not physically perfect. But also, I’m not a saint and, I don’t know, not a serial killer in this one. I think people really are moved to see someone who’s got a touch of the fugs.

And then there’s also the faith component, and as somebody who grew up Catholic, that resonates. When I was a teenager, I felt like I had to choose between gay or God. And I did ultimately choose and moved away from religion because I just felt like I couldn’t live my life and be myself. But Joel has found a way to reconcile both in his life. And I know a lot of people who did too. Where did you grow up?

I grew up in the suburbs of Michigan.

So that’s pretty Midwestern. I grew up in Texas, so it’s not quite the same as the Midwest, but it’s got some serious overlap. And I think that so much of your social life is lived via the church community. For me, when I was first coming out, it was actually a really progressive pastor who helped me see that it was OK to be both gay and Christian. That was in the ’90s. It was rare.

Was that why you wanted to be a pastor yourself?

Oh, completely. A hundred percent. And I don’t even know if there was anything else.

In the sense that, “I could also help people”? That was on your mind?

And also, “Those people are safe.” Those people were nice. No one else was. So maybe I’ll go there. But a couple of them showed their colors when I actually came out.

At what point did you realize you wanted to be a comedian and actor instead?

Well, first I was a social worker. I did have a former pastor who I found out was saying some gross things. And that’s what made me think, “Never mind. I don’t want to be a pastor.” But then I was a social worker, and I went to audition for an improv team with my friend Katie.

And now, with your first recurring role, does it feel like it’s overdue? Does it feel like the right time?

Oh, that’s such a good question. I definitely wanted this exact job. I wanted to be on a prestigious comedy on HBO, and I feel like that’s what this is. And for over 20 years, I was actively trying that. And I really completely understand and comprehend that I just got lucky because I have so many friends who are just as talented, if not more talented, than me, who are cater waiters and do shows in Ohio when they can. And so I’m fully aware that I got lucky, and I’m very grateful to be lucky enough to get this role, because this role is not a role that you could really even predict coming up. And yeah, I’m really very happy that I have it.

This interview has been condensed and edited for clarity.

Chris Azzopardi is the Editorial Director of Pride Source Media Group and Q Syndicate, the national LGBTQ+ wire service. He has interviewed a multitude of superstars, including Cher, Meryl Streep, Mariah Carey and Beyoncé. His work has also appeared in The New York Times, Vanity Fair, GQ and Billboard. Reach him via Twitter @chrisazzopardi.

Photos by: Russ Bowen-Youngblood

Vince Shifflett Quotes Change

By Mikkel Hyldebrandt

Vince Shifflett is an author, speaker, and registered nurse who has helped countless people evolve and transform their lives through his writing and public appearances. Following the 2021 publication of his first book Relationship or Relationshit, Vince is back again with another book filled with helpful quotes to inspire toward a better relationship. David caught up with the author to talk about his new title, Nurturing Notes.

You have just published your second, but before we get to that, tell us a little bit about how your first book did?

My first book far exceeded my expectations. The reviews I’ve received from the over 3500 people who purchased the book have moved and inspired me. So grateful to each and every one. The book also allowed me the honor of being a guest on multiple podcasts across the country as well as speaking engagements to audiences of all types.

So, your new book, Nurturing Notes, is still in the selfhelp realm, but the format is very different – can you tell us a little bit about that?

Yes, the first book was more autobiographical in nature whereas, Nurturing Notes is more a book of quotes to help us all have happier healthier relationships. The book is a book + workbook all in one. It challenges the reader to think and reflect on their own personal relationships, particularly the relationship with self. The goal of my writing is to create change and stimulate self-healing. I think this book does exactly that. There will be something in each book that will help you evolve into a be0er version of yourself.

What inspired you to write this book?

I always write from my own personal experience. The fact that it resonates with so many is an added blessing for me. Many of my readers had requested that I compile my quotes into a book. That led me to think about it more and ultimately, that is what I did. I also talk about each quote in the book as well as what the quote means to me and how I was inspired to come up with the quote. Each quote has a story. Writing is my way of getting it out. It is a very therapeutic process for me. I am always inspired to write as my way of dealing with life experiences.

Without giving too much away, what are some of the key takeaways from your book?

Every single relationship benefits the evolution of our consciousness. They all have a purpose. Sometimes they hurt. Sometimes they bring us joy. None the less, they are sent our way as part of our purposeful path. Allow your relationships to teach you something.

Relationships, especially within the LGBTQ+ community, are evolving and going beyond traditional structures. What are your thoughts about that? I could write a book on this alone. I will try to sum it up as best I can. I say people must decide what works for them and find the person or persons that align

with that. There is no right or wrong. We each get the privilege of deciding what we want our relationship to look like void of any judgement. Ultimately, whatever works for you is the path you should follow. We’ve been indoctrinated by religion and society to believe it must be one way. You meet that one special person, have the 2 kids, house with a white picket fence, and live happily ever aXer. Sounds like a fairy tale and I believe it is just that. Again, do what feels right for you and the person or persons you are involved with.

What’s the best relationship advice you have ever heard (and live by)?

Well, I’m gonna have to say it’s one of my quotes. “Be a partner and not a parent.” Allow your partner to go, do, and be themselves without you trying to parent them. Questions such as, “I tried to call you, where were you?” “Who was that on the phone?” “Why are you 30 minutes late coming home from work?” Those are all questions a parent would ask their child and none of us are children.

What is your best relationship advice?

Love and Allow The more focused you are on your life and your evolvement, the less time you’ll have to be worried about what your partner is doing, and you can just support each other.

Finally, where can we find you – and where can we purchase your book(s)?

You can certainly find me on Facebook and Instagram as well as on my website at www.vinceshifflett.com My books can be purchased on Amazon, Barnes and Noble or anywhere you buy books. Your local bookstore is also a great way to support smaller business so you can always get the books there. If they don’t have the books in stock, they will order them for you.

Photos by: Russ Bowen-Youngblood

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Dear DAVID Q A

I am seeing this great guy, and we are really moving ahead in terms of dating more seriously. But one time, after having what I thought was mind-blowing sex, I asked him about the best sex he ever had (hoping he would say the sex we had just had), and he proceeded to give me detailed description about how him and his ex would always climax at the exact same moment. Obviously, I am upset, and I don’t even know if I want to continue dating him because how can I never reach that kind of sexual perfection? Should I just dump him?

Hold your horses! Although it was clearly not the cleverest move by your lover to recap a past sexual encounter when you both were in post-orgasmic throes, you clearly had ulterior motives with your question as well –and now the lack of validation stings! Sure, it’s understandable, but instead of painting all of the future black, why don’t you take the opportunity to talk about what you can do together to create your own fireworks. Most of the time, it takes a while to hit that perfect sexual groove, and that’s obviously what he had with his ex. But now he is with you, and the two of you have the chance to hit your own stride in the bedroom! So don’t pout, get over yourself, and go and seduce this guy right now!

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