Tend Magazine: A Generation Z Perspective on Wellness

Sober in a Sorority Tend spoke with 21-year-old Lucy Massam (@l_massam on Instagram) — a senior at the University of California, Santa Barbara — about her experience being substance-free in a culture that encourages an under-the-influence existence.

Tend: When did you decide to become sober?

Lucy Massam: I decided to go into treatment in December of 2020. I had known I had an addictive personality for quite a few years, but the beginning of the pandemic was when my drug use was uncontrollable. My drug of choice was marijuana, and I had been very dependent on it since my freshman year of college. I knew that my heavy weed smoking had lead me to have severe anxiety and depression, fall behind in school and other obligations, and lose sight of myself in general— but I couldn’t quit. Weed is one of the most behaviorally addictive drugs, but since I was under the impression that it wasn’t addictive, I didn’t think it was a huge deal that I kept smoking. Turns out I was very wrong.

T: Did you cut out certain substances before others?

LM: During the program I had to be sober from everything, as I was getting weekly drug and alcohol tests, but I was thinking that I would be able to casually drink once I stopped smoking and got sober from that. Since I never struggled with my relationship to alcohol I didn’t see why I needed to stay sober from that. It was then when my doctors told me they recommend someone stay sober from everything for at least a year before making the decision to drink alcohol again. ... I have no plan of ever introducing alcohol back into my life because of how happy I am sober. You wouldn’t tell an alcoholic to just go smoke weed, it’s the same thing the other way around. I am sober from everything, and anything mind-altering is not my friend.

T: How did the people in your life respond to your decision to become sober?

LM: I am extremely grateful for my parents’ reaction to me telling them I needed to start rehab. I could not have asked for a better experience and my family was extremely supportive. They had no idea I was doing drugs so often. Telling them was extremely difficult, but they immediately booked a session with my therapist to learn more about what they can do to help and got rid of all of the alcohol in the house. My experience getting sober came from a very privileged situation — my parents were understanding and I never had to worry about affording treatment. I am very aware that this is not everyone’s situation so I am very grateful. My old housemates were extremely judgmental over my sobriety, and they just didn’t understand. Not only did they not understand, they didn’t care to. They would make comments about blacking out right in front of me and had no regard for what I was going through. I completely distanced myself from all of those people, but that didn’t stop me from hearing about what they had to say behind my back. Its hard because drinking is such a 14