Issue #6 Becoming Magazine for Women by Becoming Magazine

bec ming. 2020 VAULT

FIRST COMES LOVE: KYLE & JUANTERIA

dont take your life 3 REASONS THE WORLD NEEDS YOU TO LIVE

Secure The Bag

The BEST one-pan pasta

with Generosity A N O N Y M O U S

stories for the heart

GirlBoss JAMEELHA MISSICK BLOOM with

SHANTÉ STUBBS

FOUNDER OF BECOMING MAGAZINE

2 0 2 0

V A U L T

The past few years have been alot (to say the least). As a result, we had MAJOR issues releasing Issue 6 of Becoming Magazine for women. The articles and stories that you will see in this issue were written at the end of 2020 and the beginning of 2021. As you read, I would love for you to keep that context in mind. I thought that these stories deserved to be released. Time doesn't take away from the power of these stories. Time doesn't take away from the power of the women we chose to highlight. A very special thanks is extended to ALL of the contributors of this issue. Thank you for your patience. Most of all, we apologize for the extremely long delay. We pray that you enjoy this issue as much as we enjoyed working on it. We can only hope that you are as excited as we are for its release. This would not have been possible without you.

Yes we're

back

Have you downloaded our latest "Pick-Me-Up " More content at www.issuu.com/pearlsempowerment

contributors 2020 Vault Issue

Dr. Lashanté Stubbs Medical Doctor Founder of Pearls Empowerment Founder & Editor of Becoming Magazine

Scharlee Thompson Lawyer Blogger Poet

Lucy Wanjiru Blogger Founder of One Grateful Leper

Christna Stubbs MA Writer Editor Lecturer

contributors 2020 Vault Issue

Kyle & Dr. Junteria Thompson

Andrell Burrows Medical Student

Jameelha Missick News Reporter Broadcast Journalist

from the editor "Yesterday is gone, now it’s time to live in today. The pain and hurt you felt yesterday does not have to spill over in today" conversation with my mom and she said something that will stick with me forever.

his season has been really hard for me. Along with uncertainty, betrayal, grief, watching love ones fall ill and just drama, I’ve more than often felt like I’ve been holding on by a thread. I felt like if I didn’t pray, fast and make an effort daily to keep my mind in the right place, that I would’ve quickly lost it. But, God is faithful y’all! I was encouraged even more to release this magazine. Despite what’s going on around you, the show has to go on and you have to keep moving forward. Life doesn’t stop when we’re in a crisis. I had a recent

She said “yesterday is gone, now it’s time to live in today. The pain and hurt you felt yesterday does not have to spill over in today- it does not have to control your today.” She told me that although some situations you will face in life will knock you over, you must learn to move forward and live in today. Such simple words, but I promise you guys those words changed me forever. So ladies, let’s live for today. Yes, seasons change, people change, it might hurt, you may have to take some losses , but your yesterday does not have to ruin your today. Keep going ! I love you so much! You are never alone and I am praying for all of you readers! Enjoy issue #6!

XOXO, L. Stubbs

Founder, Pearls Empowerment "...shine like lights in a dark world." -Philippians 2:15 10| 2020 Vault

contents 2020 Vault

for your spirit

Anonymous Stories p.19

Cover Story: Shanté Stubbs p.52

for your body

Baked Feta Pasta p. 38

Fitness p. 81

for your soul

Letters From Lucy p. 47

Don't Take Your Life: 3 Reasons To Live p.40

GirlBoss: Jameelha Missick p. 69

Tips for Tough Seasons p. 28

Faith For we walk by faith, not by sight

2 CORINTHIANS 5:7

first c mes love

m r

k y l e

t h o m p s o n

d r

j u a n t e r i a

t h o m p s o n

Marriage is like watching the color of leaves in the fall; ever changing and more stunningly beautiful with each passing day. —Fawn Weaver

What are your ages? Kyle: 27 Juanteria: 28

How did you guys meet? We met at Kyle’s house. I actually walked right up to his front door lol. Context… my cousin-sister-bestfriend brought me along with her to a kickback at his house. Kyle and I both don’t remember very much about that night, but one thing’s for sure is there was an immediate and night-long connection. Kyle’s POV: I knew her cousin was bringing her to my kickback, but I didn’t know what she looked like. I was smitten from the moment she said hello. I remember at one point it felt like we were alone as we chatted sitting on my living room floor. Sadly, neither of us even remember what was said. Juanteria’s POV: I remember 3 things. First, the moment he opened the door and greeted us. Second, the foot rub (yes you read that right) he gave me and the one I returned, on the floor of his living room. Neither of us remember why this occurred. And lastly his obvious interest (one thing that has never changed, he still wears his heart on his sleeve but he’ll never tell you that lol). What was the biggest challenge you faced while dating each other? How did you overcome it? Kyle and I are both Christians and not just Sunday Christians, we both have a heart for Jesus which calls us to live a life that’s holy and acceptable to God. This is already a challenge being a millennial as most people our age choose to live a worldly lifestyle. So, it was definitely a challenge to remain pure and holy after we met. After our engagement, we made a commitment to God and ourselves to remain celibate until our wedding night. I would say this was our biggest challenge and one we actually overcame in the end by the grace of God. Any of our other challenges were minor in comparison.

Do you believe in the concept of “The One”? Why or why not? (“The One” meaning that there is only one person in this world who is meant to be another person’s soulmate) Kyle: I believe in the concept of “The One”. However, I believe that choices in life prevent people from forging a connection with “The One”. Whether it is settling for the wrong person, not taking heed to the right signs or the red flags, or simply bad timing. Oftentimes “The One” isn’t realized until it is too late or never at all. God has blessed us with the freedom of choice and also strategically places people in our lives; it is ultimately up to us to discern what signs God is showing us. Juanteria: I do believe in “The One.” I believe that God desires for us to live in communion, hence why He created Eve to live as one with Adam. Genesis 2:24 says “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife and they shall become one flesh.” This shows that God definitely created us to become one with someone. I however don’t believe that ‘the one” in all cases is the only one. God has a specific plan and purpose for each and everyone of us. Who am I to say that if I ever left this earth or Kyle left this earth anytime soon that he wouldn’t place someone else in our lives to fulfill His purpose for our lives? Ultimately, it’s God who directs my life so in all things I would trust him. With that said, Kyle is definitely my one and as long as we’re both alive I wouldn’t even think about sharing this life with anyone else. When did you know that you were ready for marriage? Kyle: I knew I was ready for marriage two and half years ago, when I lost joy in the fast paced life. The idea of “prowling” grew boring and I longed for ONE person to spend the rest of my life with. Juanteria: I am a very old soul, anyone who knows me knows this. I’ve been ready for marriage probably since I understood what the concept meant. I am what you would call a "hopeless romantic". I love the idea of true, undying, timeless, miracle-working love. Some may say that is unrealistic in this day and age but, I’m still a believer and I believe that’s what Kyle and I have.

What advice would you give to couples who desire marriage? Build a solid foundation. Life is filled with temptations, ups and downs, and outside influences but once God is in the center there is nothing you can’t overcome. Be proactive and read books or find resources that will prepare you to step in your role as husband and wife. Being a wife is more than just cooking and cleaning and lifewise being husband is more than just providing for the home. Pre-marital counselling is also important as it can give you further guidance and also reveal weaknesses within your relationship that you may not have realized before. Lastly, if you’re going to spend the rest of your life with someone, you definitely want to make sure your life long goals and desires match up. What advice would you give to someone who desires to be married but has not met the right person? We realize that this is the case with a lot of people in our generation. Before Kyle and I met we ourselves even wondered if we would ever find “The One.” Our advice would be to focus on what it is God has called you to do. God’s timing is always the right timing so just trust that He sees you and that He’s with you and that He wants the best for you always which includes you having someone that loves you unconditionally. Kyle and I met each other in 2013, but didn’t see each other again until 2017 and didn’t start dating until 2018. Who knows you may have met the right person already. Your story won’t be our story but our story shows you that you should always keep an open mind as God often does the unexpected. Has marriage been everything you imagined it to be so far? It has! Everything and so much more. Some days we’re still amazed that we’re actually married. Even though we haven’t been able to

have a honey-moon (thanks COVID-19) we’re still very much honey-mooning. We feel very blessed to have found one another. What would you do differently as a single to prepare for your marriage? Kyle: I would not have settled. Often you see red flags early in situations, and you ignore them. Remain focused. Don’t feel pressured into finding “The One”, sometimes they can come knocking at your front door :), find yourself, develop yourself and be ready for when the time comes to find “The One”. Juanteria: If I could start again I would have remained pure. I also would have spent less time in dead/toxic relationships. The hurt that builds up after bad relationships can be difficult to heal from and even affect your relationship with the right one if you allow it. What are your marriage goals? To continue to help each other toward our goals and purpose. We both love to travel so we definitely have a bucket-list to get through. We hope to be a positive example and inspiration to those in our generation not just for marriage but Godly marriage. Kyle and I both have witnessed negative examples of marriage in our lives so we hope to be the change and spread that change in a world where broken homes, "situationships" , "entanglements" and toxic relationships are the new normal.

A N O N Y M O U S stories for the heart

Our stories make us human. Our stories bring us together. Our stories make us strong. Our stories keep us going.

PAIN

We all know the sting of pain, whether it be emotional pain, or physical pain. If you’ve ever been injured or had to deal with an illness that causes physical pain, then you know how uncomfortable it is. You understand the frustration and the sadness that dealing with the pain oftentimes brings. In this season of my life, I am often prone to chronic physical pain that causes a lot of discomfort and frustration. The physical pain that I often deal with ultimately causes emotional pain, and I often find myself struggling to grapple with the intensity of it all. In the midst of my pain, God has taught me that instead of allowing pain to push me away from Him, it should make me pursue Him even more, because only He can truly provide the sort of comfort that I need in the midst of it.

GRIEF It felt like a hole was left in my heart. A huge gaping hole that one one could fill. No thing could fill. Nothing took the pain away. Nothing took the sadness away. Nothing was able to bring back the life that I once had. It almost felt like I was watching the world go on while I was stuck in the quicksand of my loss. It was sucking me under. I could feel the light leaving me. I could see myself sinking deeper into the pit of grief. How could the world go on as usual? How could people smile and laugh while I cried? How could I feel so alone in this pain? Why is this happening to me? What did I do to deserve this? I gave my grief to God. It was too heavy a burden to bear. My prayers were nothing but groans and tears, but I know God heard them. I know He interpreted the tears, the sighs and the groans. He understood the worlds that my heart spoke. Day by day I felt the cloud lifting. With the support of those around me, prayer and giving my grief to God, I felt lighter. I felt alive again. Sometimes I still feel a small pinch of grief, but it no longer grips my heart. That was not my end. This is not your end.

BETRAYAL I read a quote that said betrayal always comes from the people you love and trust. How true is that? No one in the world can hurt you like the people you put your trust in. They are the only ones who can truly cut you as deep for the are the ones you trust with your heart and soul. What brings me comfort is that Jesus was betrayed. He was betrayed to die. My betrayal was full of pain. I could never imagine being betrayed to die. My betrayal has pushed me closer to God. He will always love me. He will never leave me. God's love has taught me to not hold someone to a betrayal. They too are human, they too are broken, they too are suffering. It hurts, but God repays. My job is to love. Even if I must love from afar.

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teatime WITH

MISS

How do I find the strength to keep going when life feels unbearable?

unbearable? Before I answer that, I want to first

"If we were not worthy, why would God have created us?"

of all say that I'm sorry. I'm sorry that life has

After thinking about your question, I have

become so hard that you doubt you have the

resolved to give you 4 points that helped me

ability to go on. I'm sorry that this weight feels

when I was in the middle of the roughest time

too heavy for you to carry. I want you to know

of my life . I hope it gives you perspective and

that you deserve good things. People love to

strength while you ride out your own storm.

This is a heavy one. How does a person find the strength to keep going when life seems

condemn humanity. People will tell you that as humans we are undeserving or that we

(1) Have a strong support system. I cannot

shouldn't expect good in life. I know that to be

stress this enough. When you are going

a lie.

through, it's extremely important to have people you can trust and people you can

If we were not worthy, why would God have

depend upon. If you don't have persons that fit

created us? If we were not worthy, why would

that criteria in your immediate circle, I strongly

God come down in human form to die for us?

recommended that you seek them out.

Who sacrifices for someone who is not

Possibly at a local church? It's important when

worthy? So, don't feel like what you're going

we are hurting that we have people who can

through is deserved, because God loves you

help us carry the burden. It also helps us to feel

deeply . It might not feel so now, but He cares

more alive. Isolation has a way of making your

about you.

pain seem

unique to you. When you get around people or

I would encourage you to find a private place

in community you will realize that everyone is

to cry. Let it out. I've had many days of crying-

dealing with something. In trusted community

full blown Niagara Falls. I've honestly felt so

you will also find people who can pray for and

much freer after a good cry. Crying doesn't

with you. You will find people who can

make you weak. Crying makes you human.

encourage you and lift you up. It might sound

You cannot escape being human, so why

like a cliché, but honestly no man is an island.

would you want to suppress your tears? Cry and release. A friend of mind told me once

(2) I would advise you to pray. Your prayers

that her therapist recommends crying in the

don't have to sound fancy or even be coherent.

shower. She said her therapist told her that as

God sees and God understands. Prayer is

the water drains over your body and goes

intimate. It is between you and the God who

down the drain, your tears will flow down with

has the power to strengthen you and work out

it. She told her to watch the water and tears as

the situations you might be facing. Find a quiet

they go down the drain and imagine that your

place and cry out to God. Share what is on your

sorrows and troubles are being washed

heart and trust that He will intervene and give

down with it.

you clarity. I have had many days where I cried out to God and I felt so much lighter and more

"Cry and release."

confident afterwards. God hears and He understands sis, God answers prayer.

"God hears and He understands. God answers prayer."

(4) Remain hopeful. I've learned that hope is a weapon. A point of hopelessness is a scary place. Remain hopeful that there is better ahead. Remain hopeful that there is life after this pain. Remain hopeful that at any moment things can change for the better. Sometimes I

While we are on the topic of crying point (3) is

find a quiet spot and just journal my dreams

to cry. Yes, cry! We have such a negative view

and hopes for the future. Instead of focusing

of crying, but crying is essential. I once read a

on my pain, I focus on the joy that is to come.

quote that crying is proof that emotional pain

Maybe today you can try focusing on what

can become physical. Tears are proof

you hope lies ahead. Remind yourself that

emotional pain is just as hard as physical pain.

this isn't the end. This is just a paragraph in the

All through the Bible we read stories and

book of your life. There is so much more

psalms of humans crying out to God.

ahead. Hold onto that hope.

MOST IMPORTANT: If you know deep down that you are feeling hopeless and thinking about taking your own life. I strongly recommend that you seek professional help. You can call the suicide hotline for your country or tell someone that you trust what you are experiencing. Dear Miss A is written anonymously by someone that we love and trust at the magazine. Submit any questions that you may have for Miss A, and maybe yours will be answered in the next issue. Questions can be submitted via email at pearlsempowerment@gmail.com. 27| 2020 Vault

T I P S

F O R

T O U G H S E A S O N S by

scharlee

thompson

Many of us claim to have faith in God. We often recite Hebrews 11:1 "Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." But what about those times when our hope is tested and our faith is tried? The COVID-19 pandemic turned many people's worlds upside down. Jobs were lost, people fell victim to the deadly, contagious virus and many people fell into a state of sadness and depression. Everything was just so uncertain. I can definitely relate to the latter. Going through a season of uncertainty tested my faith in a way that it has never been tested before. Usually, I’m the one encouraging others. However, last year, I came to a point where receiving encouraging words from others annoyed me. I found myself sarcastically responding “Yes, I know that it's important to have faith in God.” “Yes, I understand that we must trust in God with all of our hearts.” “Yes, I believe that the plans God has for me are good.” I learned that in the midst of a difficult season, it seems remotely impossible to see the light at the end of the tunnel. It seems remotely impossible to see the testimony in the midst of the test. While I am still going through this season, it has been a learning experience for me. It has really highlighted areas within myself that I truly need to work on. As I begin to slowly get out of this difficult season, I want to share some things that I have been doing to help. If you are currently going through a trying season and your faith is being tested, I hope you find these tips useful to get you through the tough moments.

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1. Acknowledge Your Emotions Sis: It's okay not to be okay! We often try our best to be strong, but you are entitled to have a breakdown and cry. Your feelings are valid. What you're going through is difficult. You should not feel ashamed about feeling overwhelmed. So, cry if you have to. Scream if you have to, but please don't bury your feelings. You can journal your feelings. You must acknowledge them. 2. Seek God: As difficult as it may be to do so, it is important to seek God during this difficult time. Whether it's finding time to read an encouraging devotional on the Bible App or simply reading the verse of the day. You must seek God. Don't give up on your faith. Don't give up on God because He won't give up on you. 3. Listen to Worship Music: Worship music has honestly gotten me through a lot of difficult times! When I don't know how to put my feelings into words, there are songs that perfectly express my heart. I have had Tasha Cobbs Leonard's playlist on repeat. Listening to these words really penetrates the soul and lifts you up when you feel low. 4. Talk About It: In moments like these, we may feel like we want to be alone. As easy as it is to drown in our emotions alone, it is important to reach out to a trusted friend. We need someone who will not just be there for us, but someone who will be able to fight with us and to pray on our behalf. I am so grateful for my friends who have allowed me to vent to them. I am so grateful for trusted people who allow me to just tell them about everything that I felt was going

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wrong in my life. They allowed me the space to be angry, but they also encouraged me to not stay in that state. They prayed for me and honestly, I could feel the power of their prayers. We need people who have our best interests at heart. We need people who will check on us and make sure that we're okay. 5. Have a Grateful Heart: While it seems as though everything in life may be going wrong, think about the things that are actually going right. Things really begin to shift when you change your perspective. Things really begin to shift when we stop focusing on the challenges and we choose to focus on the blessings. You can start off by writing one thing you're grateful for each day. When I started to write down what I was grateful for, I couldn't help but smile. I was able to see how many things God had done for me. When we look back over our lives and see all that God has done for us- the many times He has protected us and looked out for us, it truly makes a difference. 6. Pick Yourself Up: Don't stay in the season that you're in. Learn from the situation. If you need to see a professional, get the help that you need. While your emotions are valid, don't allow your emotions to control your life! Take active steps to picking yourself back up and out of the difficult season. Do something that makes you happy. Go out with a friend or be like me and have a photoshoot. Whatever you do, don't stay in the state that you're in.

31 Aug/Sept 2020

Throughout life, we will ALL go through situations in which our faith in God will be tested. We must always remember that God loves us and that He will never leave us nor forsake us. "These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world." –John 16:33 "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. " Phillipians 4:6

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SIS, YOU WILL LAUGH AGAIN READ PSALM 126 WITH US, MEDITATE ON THESE VERSES

When the Lord restored the fortunes of Zion, we were like those who dreamed. Our mouths were filled with laughter, our tongues with songs of joy. PSALM 126: 1-2

Those who sow with tears will reap with songs of joy. Those who go out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with them. PSALM 126: 5-6

SIS, YOU WILL LAUGH AGAIN

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B y

P e a r l s E m p o w e r m e n t E s t . 2 0 0 9

BAKED FETA PASTA Recipe Adapted from The Feel Good Foodie

Ingredients 8 ounces dried cavatappi pasta or pasta of choice 2 pints cherry tomatoes 8- ounce block feta cheese ½ cup extra virgin olive oil ¼ teaspoon sea salt ¼ teaspoon black pepper 2 garlic cloves minced ¼ cup packed chopped fresh basil plus more for serving Instructions Preheat oven to 400°F. Place the cherry tomatoes in an oven-safe baking dish. Pour the olive oil on top, and season with salt and pepper. Toss until well combined.

Place the feta block in the middle of the baking dish surrounded by the cherry tomatoes, and flip a couple times to coat it with the olive oil and seasoning

Bake in the preheated oven for 35 minutes, until the cherry tomatoes burst, and the feta cheese melts.

While the tomatoes and feta are baking, cook the pasta in a pot of salted water according to package instructions until al dente. Drain, reserving ½ cup of the cooking liquid in case you'd like to toss it in.

Immediately add the garlic and basil leaves to the cooked tomatoes and feta and toss everything to combine.

Transfer the cooked pasta to the baking dish and toss to combine. Garnish with more fresh basil and serve warm.

DON'T TAKE YOUR LIFE 3

R E A S O N S

T H E

W O R L D

N E E D S

Y O U

T O

L I V E

I vividly remember sitting on my parents bed, pulling at my hair until my eyes began to water. The only thing I felt in that moment was deep torment and pain. The mind battles that had been plaguing me for months had reached their peak. The only way I felt I could find relief was to take my own life. I had already decided how to do it, too. The only thing left to do was to open the window, and take the step. As I think back on this dark moment of my life, I can’t help but feel a deep sense of gratitude to God for saving me that day. If He had not whispered gently to my heart that He had a plan for my life and needed me to choose life, I probably wouldn’t be here today. In the moment that I was about to commit suicide, I never thought twice about if my life mattered or not. If you’re in a dark place and have contemplated suicide, I’ve come to ask you to consider this: choose to live. (1) Choose to live because your life has purpose.

In Jeremiah 29:11, God reminds us that He knows the plans that He has for us. They are plans for our good and not for evil, to give us a future and a hope. When it’s dark, this is very difficult to understand and even believe. Trust me, I get it. I’ve been there. However, I’ve come to tell you, please don’t allow the darkness that you’re feeling right now cause you to forget that your life has a purpose. The fact that you’re alive today is an indication that God has a plan for you. You are alive for a reason and your life matters to God. (2) Choose to live because your pain won’t last forever. When I was being tormented in my mind, I felt like I could never be free. I spent months believing that the suffering I faced was all there was to my life. It seemed like pain would be a constant companion until the day that I died, which is why I wanted to die so quickly. I learned however that despite the lies the enemy had been telling me, and despite the darkness that seemed to hover over me, my weeping and pain would not

last forever. Psalm 30:5 says that weeping may endure for the night, but joy comes in the morning. My pain didn’t last forever, and yours won’t either. Joy comes in the morning. (3) Choose to live because you are loved. Truthfully, a revelation of the love of God is what brought me out of the dark pit that I had been living in during that season of my life. It was His love that took hold of me and brought light to the darkness. It was His love that settled in my heart that life was the answer and not suicide. I’ve come to remind you today that you are loved. No matter what it is that you may be facing, you are loved and because of that, you must live. Jeremiah 31:3 says that God loves us with an everlasting love. He loves you with an everlasting love. When the dark thoughts of suicide creeps in, remind yourself of this truth. About ten years ago, I chose to live. As I stared down at the concrete floor beneath me, broken

and weary, God embraced me and helped me to choose life. I pray that this article can serve as an embrace to you. From a fellow sister, treat it as a loving embrace and a reminder that there is so much more life for you to live, so do just that. Live.

Spring Home Guide s m a l l

t h i n g s

t o

w e l c o m e

s p r i n g

i n t o

y o u r

h o m e

Scented Candles Can you ever go wrong with scented candles? This is the perfect way to feel like spring is here. Try fresh floral fragrances like lavender and rose. You can also try light fresh fragrances like mint or eucalyptus. Some of our favorite brands include White Barn, Red Leaf Home & two Bahamian-owned brands called: "Wright's Wicks" & "Biggity" Scented Candles. [$15.00$30.00]

Glass Coffee Mug Who doesn't love mugs? We love, love love, glass coffee mugs. Yes, we know hot tea or coffee is not popular in the springtime, but we love the aesthetic and we are always here for cozy feels! If you're not interested in hot beverages , try purchasing some new fun glasses to have your spring iced tea and lemonades in. [$10.00- $30.00]

Stash Tea Sampler Who doesn't love tea? We are suggesting that you get an entire Tea Sampler and step up your tea game. What better way to unwind after a long day than with a cup of tea. What better way to elevate your brunch and spring tea parties, than with a great cup of tea? [$15.00- $20.00]

Throw Pillows Add pops of color and brightness to your home with a few decorative pillows. You can find ones that fit your budget and the color scheme of your home. [$25.00-$50.00]

Door Wreath What better way to welcome Spring than with a gorgeous door wreath? You can purchase items to make a DIY wreath, you can buy one from your nearest home goods store or purchase a handmade one from a local artisan. [$20.00$35.00]

Decorative Plates We love to cook and have people over. There is something beautiful about bringing people together around a table with food, laughter and love. If you plan to have friends over for breakfast, lunch, dinner or brunch, add some extra fun with colorful spring-themed tableware. [$15.00-$20.00]

Letters F R O M

L U C Y

Lucy Wanjiru is from Nairobi, Kenya. Read her life experiences and advice in this column or check out her blog @OneGratefulLeper

" ou are not alone, for I am here. Let me wipe away your every tear. My love, I've never left your side, I have seen you through the darkest night. I'm the One who's loved you all your life. All your life” from the song “You Are Not Alone” by Meredith Andrews That is one of the many songs that I play over and over again when the unexpected in my life happens. If I can be completely honest with y'all, just like many of you ,life hit me so unexpected last year. It has been a series of battles one after the other- issues with my health, anxiety, uncertainty and so much fear. Not knowing what could happen next and not being in control has pushed me to my Heavenly Father's arms like never before. During my quiet time last year, I often felt so broken . I was praying for something and I felt so trapped because I didn't see a way out. Nothing was making sense. However, the words that kept coming out of my mouth were "GOD YOU ARE IN CONTROL". I kept repeating those words over and over again. I just could not go beyond that.

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Maybe it's because I needed to remind my anxious heart and mind that I AM NOT IN CONTROL. Maybe I needed to remind myself that even though I am not in control that there is God WHO IS. A God who is never caught by surprise with anything. Maybe that is my own definition of what firm faith is- knowing that even when things are messy, even when we walk through uncertain seasons ,even when things aren't making sense, we can still put our faith in a God who has everything under control! We can put our faith in The God who is never surprised by anything that happens in our lives. If nothing is making sense right now in your life, if you feel like you have been through one battle after the other- if you feel weighed down by life's struggles, then this article is definitely for you. I don't have any magical advice that will solve all your problems. Nevertheless, what I do know is there is a God who won't fail you. Put your faith in that God. Allow Him to Carry you through

what you're going through. Cast your anxiety on Him because He cares for you. Remember these 3 verses when you feel uncertain, anxious or fearful. (1) “Cast ALL of your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you.” (1 Peter 5:7 NIV) (2) “I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you.” (Psalms 32:8 NIV) (3) “The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; He delivers them from all their troubles. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” (Psalms 34:17‭-‬18 NIV)

Hugs, Lucy.

Coffee

WITH KISSY the podcast

BLOOM WITH

SH AN TÉ BLOOM

VERB: (1) to mature into achievement of one's potential (2) to flourish in youthful beauty, freshness, or excellence

hanté, whose full name is actually Lashanté is a force to be reckoned with. If you truly know her, you love her. Pointblank. If you do not love her, you sadly do not truly know her. Shanté is not only the founder and chief editor of Becoming Magazine, she is the founder of Becoming Teen Magazine and a non profit organization called Pearls Empowerment. She shared that she founded Pearls Empowerment when she was around 18 years old along with her sister. Initially, it started off as a free summer camp/mentor program for young girls. Overtime, it grew into a world renown brand that caters to inspiring and empowering women in over 20 countries around the world. Shanté grew up on an island in The Bahamas called Eleuthera, which she explained is a Greek word that means "Freedom". She said that growing up in Eleuthera played a huge role in molding her into the person that she is today. She deeply loves and respects her island home, its culture and its people. Shanté is also a new medical doctor, a daughter, a sister and an aunt. She is someone who truly loves life, honors family, loves people and is passionate about making a difference everywhere she goes. When asked why she chose medicine, she joked, "I really have no idea lol I must love slavery". However, she shared that she is most passionate about health equity and access to healthcare. She shared that growing up on an island that has lots of health disparities and so many challenges with access to healthcare has pushed her to pursue medicine. She wants to help bridge the gap in any way that she could. We often hear, "to whom much is given, much is required". She explained that this quote resonates so much with her because although her life has been filled with many

mountain top experiences, she has also endured many very low valleys. Betrayals, being misunderstood, feeling overlooked, fear, crippling anxiety, shame and depression are just a few of the battles she has faced over the years. She told us that although she has been well acquainted with pain, she would not trade any of the experiences because they all molded her into the woman that she is today. She also shared with us that she believes pain can do so much more for a person than any comfort can. She shared that she's learned that pain, if you allow it, can bring out the best in you. She encourages women to allow their pain to push them closer to God and to shape them into a better version of themselves. She explained that you should never allow your pain to make you bitter and resentful. She said you must "change the narrative". She mentioned that starting an organization for women with no money is an obvious challenge. However, also loving people deeply comes with its own challenges. She shared with us that over the years she has learned to set healthy boundaries in her giving and her helping. When asked to elaborate on her most recent valley, Shanté shared how she fought a battle with depression in 2021 . She mentioned that it felt like she had lost herself. She was walking around daily and no one saw the pain that lingered deep within her. She mentioned that the depression got worst as the months went on because more challenges arose. She suffered a lot emotional turmoil, lost one of her best friends, battled COVID-19 and so much more. It was extremely hard for her to focus and as a result, she failed one of the most important exams of her medical career. All of which contributed to the worsening of her depression. During this time, she felt alone.

She also felt abandoned during this time.

about how she was able to overcome the

She shared that she is always the "go to"

depression that she battled, she replied "it

person

was a long journey but having a deeply

needed

supportive family and a family who prays

support the most, she felt like the only

made all the difference". She mentioned

persons left standing were her family. She

that her prayer life deepened during this

explained

deeply

time and she learned to depend upon God

grateful to have such a supportive and

in ways that she never needed to depend

loving family. She learned during this time

upon Him before. She shared that even in

what was important and what she truly

her deepest darkness, looking back she

needed in life to survive.

realizes that God was carrying her. She

when

encouragement

that

people and

she

need

when

help

she

however

explained that she can see how He was She shared that she also learned that it's one

walking along side of her and helping her to

thing to be weak and suffering, but another

remain hopeful for what lies ahead.

to be strong and suffering. She shared that when you are perceived as "strong" people

When asked about her busy days, she

tend to either (1) "brush off" your suffering

shared that recently her time has been split

and belittle it. She elaborated that they tell

between preparing for medical residency,

you things like "you're strong, you'll get

working on projects for the Becoming

over it". Which she shared is true, but

brand and traveling. She also shares that she

doesn't allow the person feeling the pain to

finds herself often indulging in moments of

properly process it and heal.

peace. She explained that she looks back and realizes that there were moments when

She also shared that when you're strong

she

had

peace.

result,

she

people tend to overlook you or inflict even

appreciates peace and soundness of mind so

more pain. She mentioned that when you

much more!

are strong, people do things to you almost never expecting you to be deeply affected.

When asked what she enjoys doing for fun

They inflict harm and just go on not

she

realizing how deeply what they did hurt

exploring the outdoors, cooking, baking,

you. She advises that people stop putting

spending

others into categories of "weak" or "strong"

indulging in a good book with a hot cup of

because every human has a breaking point.

tea or coffee.

told

that

time

she

with

loves

family

traveling, and

also

She shared that every human feels pain and you never know what is truly someone's

hopes of inspiring others, we asked

threshold of pain. When asked

Shanté to give advice to women who might

be feeling lost and confused about a life

fulfil a career in internal medicine, but is

plan. She advises these women to first

still deciding on her subspeciality. She also

breathe. She explained that sometimes we

shared that she anticipates traveling more,

put way too much pressure on ourselves.

eating more good food and making new

She advises that these women first take the

connections. She is also currently working

pressure off of themselves to be perfect and

specifically tailored towards Bahamians and

have

everything

figured

out.

She

explained that after truly doing that, spend

developing

health

magazine

people of the Caribbean.

time with God and try to learn about yourself.

Shanté is currently unmarried, but hopes to be married with kids one day living in a

She advises that you seek to ask yourself

beautiful home surrounded by love and

questions like "What are your likes? What

respect. She shares that until that time, she

are your dislikes? What kind of woman do

will continue to trust God and allow Him to

you want to be? What mark would you like

lead her along the best paths for her life.

to leave on the world? What legacy do you want to create and leave behind?" She

explained that after asking yourself those

depression or to chat, connect with Shanté

questions and taking them to God, things

via email at lashantestubbs@gmail.com or

will become clearer. She shared that we are

via Instagram @shantestubbs

never too lost or "off track" that things can't be made right. She wants women to understand that there is always hope and that there is always more good ahead if they choose to truly believe it. Shanté explained that life is meant to be enjoyed, not to be seen as a chore or a series of checklists. She explained that once we take that pressure to "perform" off of ourselves ,we begin to live in the moment , it's easier to connect with God and our paths become so much clearer. When asked about her plans for the future, Shanté smiled. She shared that she plans to

hear

about

her

battle

with

Want to be a part of the magazine?

JOIN

team "THE ZINE"

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57| 2020 Vault

family. AT BECOMING MAGAZINE WE ARE GRATEFUL FOR

@ b e c o m i n g m a g a z i n e

Y o u

a r e

i n

c o m p e t i t i o n

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n o

o n e

Y o u

a r e

i n

c o m p e t i t i o n

w i t h

n o

o n e

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woman h a v e

f a i t h

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not yet see. Hebrews 11:1

BE ALERT.BE SOBER. BE ALERT AND OF SOBER MIND. YOUR ENEMY THE DEVIL PROWLS AROUND LIKE A ROARING LION LOOKING FOR SOMEONE TO DEVOUR. 1PETER 5:8

girl BOSS J A M E E L H

A .

M I S S I C K

Jameelha Missick was chosen back in 2020 to be the Girl Boss for Issue #6 of Becoming Magazine. As you read, keep in mind that the date for this interview was September of 2020. We would love to take this opportunity to thank her for her patience and willingness to be a apart of this magazine issue.

year

grew

old

Jameelha what

she

Missick

calls

the

resilient Freeport, Grand Bahama.

her

completing

news

broadcast explained tell

journalist. that

people

reporter

she

that

and

would

had

many

that

occupations

that

she

for

writing

and as a result thought it would be

She

great

idea

submit

her

job

training application to a local news station. She ended up loving the

journalist

experience and decided to study

thoughts

pursue. Around the time

talents

news

growing

different

her

and

was never a dream of hers. She explained

always

being

broadcast

grade

"job training". During this time she pondered

She

11th

high school, she was required to do

wanted

Media Journalism in university.

she on to

She shared with us that although it

was

not

her

initial

plan

reporter, she later found out that her mom had always dreamed of being

reporter

growing

up.

Jameelha is more than happy to be fulfilling the role.

When

asked

about

the

biggest

challenge she has faced to date, she shared that she couldn't really speak on the absolute biggest

challenge, after

but

she

mentioned

that

graduated

from

were

In her down time, Jameelha enjoys

unrelated to her degree. She took

shoe shopping, listening to music,

even

considering

jobs

that

university, she was unemployed for

about 9 months. She calls this time

time unemployed as a time for self-

her

reflection and self-realization.

"unemployment

pregnancy".

freelance

jobs

and

used

the

she

battled

depression.

considers

herself

However, to

She

shared

lesson

she

that

took

the

away

greatest from

that

strong person and mentioned that

experience was that her faith had

she found a way to smile through

to be stronger than her fear. She

the pain.

learned

that

although

she

was

down, she was not out. She shared She

shared

that

during

this

time

she applied for jobs everywhere-

She

considers

loves

During this time, she shared how she

reading, traveling, and fine dining.

that although some days she felt discouraged she never gave up.

anything

enjoys and

herself

seafood!

spending

friends

time

and

foodie She

with

creating

also

family special

memories with the ones she love.

She

enjoys

Junkanoo,

participating Bahamian

cultural

parade with music, dancing and

beautiful

costumes.

volunteering young

and

people

She

working she

However, what she does hope for is

person. She also hopes that she will

not

healthy,

happy,

loved

and

unapologetically her. She wants to

She further

know that she will be doing what

enjoys writing and binge watching

she loves. She also hopes to get

series

married and start a family.

and

movies

with Junior

Achievement Advisor.

enjoys

among

other

leave

this

earth

until

her

purpose in this life is fulfilled.

When asked about ways in which women can improve their life right

things. A

short

term

goal

hers

When asked about her hopes for

obtain her masters degree. A long

the future, she responded that she

term goal of her is to have multiple

honestly is not sure what the future

streams of income.

she is trying not to think about it

Jameelha

too much as she is an over thinker.

be an inspiration to if only one

that

focus

God,

crush

them

(2)

and

time for self-care.

holds for her. She also shared that hopes

now, she shares that women can (1)

her

life

will

(3)

set

goals

always

and

make

2020 life lessons. a n d r e l l

b u r r o w s

This year God has made me feel so secure about myself and His will for my life. He has also built my level of trust and faith in Him by always coming through in every area of my life over and over again. I am currently a third year medical student and this Fall semester was pretty tough. There was challenge after challenge, combined with an endless amount of major tests and quizzes. But each time God proved Himself faithful by giving me strategies on how to improve my study skills and complete my assignments on time. He also gave me peace as I walked out each difficulty. 2020 was tough, but it also came along with several life lessons. Three of the life lessons I have learned are to embrace each season of my life, it’s ok to make mistakes, and that it is fine for me to walk in complete authenticity.

One of the main life lessons I have learned this year is to embrace every season of life no matter what, no matter the highs or the lows. I’ve learned that it’s ok to want to grow, improve and make my way out of horrible seasons in life, but I also need to enjoy the life that I have now, my present life. This is because there are moments here that I should enjoy, and things that I need to learn that I can actually use in new seasons to come.

I’ve also learned that it is ok to make mistakes, that I don’t need to meet the idea of perfectionism that I have made up in my mind. Making mistakes comes along with the frailty of being human, and it reminds us of how much we actually need God’s strength in our weakest moments. Nobody should aim to make mistakes, but the errors that we sometimes make are all a part of the individual journey that God has handcrafted for each one of us. He knows where we will fall short, or make some errors here and there. He’s going to ensure that good comes from each of them. This year has also helped me to realize that it is ok for me to be my authentic self. It is completely fine. I do not need to try to be as friendly as another person. I do not need to try to reach the same ‘level of niceness’ as another person. I do not need to try to be like, seem like, smile like, or dress like somebody else, because who I am is enough. The way that I do things, in my own unique way, will draw the right resources, opportunities and community that is best for me.

Years like 2020, hard moments and seasons are fundamental in the journey to becoming the strong and powerful woman that God has called me to be. I am actually this woman now, but in the infancy stage. Challenging seasons actually help to grow and stretch me; they help to mold me into this phenomenal woman. I like to think of this journey called life as an unveiling process to reveal this great woman. So every fiery trial that I endure helps to bring out abilities that I never knew that I possessed. I pray that we all begin to see arduous years and moments like 2020 as times where God is removing the veils and is strengthening us to become the greatest version of ourselves.

Generosity Matters

SECURE THE BAG

being generous

is actually good for your health! Studies have shown that being generous actually reduces stress. Furthermore, being generous increases hormones like dopamine that help to improve your mood.

generosity makes room for more. You always hear people say that it is better to give than to receive. We also always hear people say that you can't receive with a closed hand. Both statements hold true. When we give we free up space to receive so much more.

being generous

helps us to connect with other human beings. Opening up to others and giving of our resources and our time helps us to connect in beautiful ways.

generosity keeps us humble. it also teaches us to not hold onto things. It helps us to not be so materialistic and realize that there is more to this life than money.

being generous

helps us to find our purpose in life. Giving to others who might otherwise not be able to repay us, helps us to appreciate the deeper meaning of life.

our reading list 2020 VAULT

Remember God by Annie F. Downs "Christians love to talk about how God is in control, but that’s harder to grasp when things aren’t going like you thought they would, when your life looks quite different than you imagined."

Books worth reading this month!

Get Out of Your Head: Stopping the Spiral of Toxic Thoughts by Jennie Allen

""Are your thoughts holding you captive? I’ll never be good enough. Other people have better lives than I do. God couldn’t really love me. Jennie Allen knows what it’s like to swirl in a spiral of destructive thoughts, but she also knows we don’t have to stay stuck in toxic thinking patterns."

Woman Evolve: Break Up with Your Fears and Revolutionize Your Life by Sarah Jakes roberts "Who would imagine being friends with Eve—the woman who’s been held responsible for the fall of humanity (and cramps) for thousands of years? Certainly not Sarah Jakes Roberts. That is, not until Sarah discovered she is more like Eve than she cares to admit"

That Sounds Fun: The Joys of Being an Amateur, the Power of Falling in Love, and Why You Need a Hobby by Annie F. Downs "We know there are certain things we must have to survive-food, shelter, and safety to name a few. But there are also aspects of life that truly allow us to be joyful and fulfilled. "

Lost and Found: Finding Hope in the Detours of Life by Sarah Jakes Roberts "Like every girl, Sarah Jakes dreamed of a life full of love, laughter, and happy endings. But her dreams changed dramatically when she became pregnant at age thirteen..."

NEW BLOG POSTS. E V E R Y

W E E K

W W W . C K S T U B B S . C O M

FITNESS A BEGINNER'S GUIDE TO STARTING A HEALTH JOURNEY

So...What exactly is a health journey? A health journey is simply you deciding today that you are willing to make changes in your life. These changes will all add up to you becoming a healthier version of yourself. I've learned over the years that the problem with health journeys is that most people don't even know what it means to truly be healthy. Most people feel that health means munching on carrots and eating lettuce all day. Which is not true! These warped ideas of health have us stuck in cycles of extreme dieting or feeling like you can never be healthy.

Most people don't even know what it truly means to be healthy. So, I'm going to help you. I'm going to be kind enough to give you 3 ways you can start your health journey today! Number 1: Decide on your reason for turning over this new leaf. Is it because you want to loose weight? Is it because you just want to be healthy? Once you decide on your why, it is important to keep it in mind. Your why will keep you going. If your goal for turning over this new leaf is to loose weight for example, when you're

tempted to deviate from the plan you will think about the consequence of gaining more weight and never achieving your goal. So having a why is very, very important. Number 2: Cook more than you buy out and eat whole foods. This might sound like 2 steps, but it's really one. When we eat out, most times we really have no idea what we are consuming. We often don't know how much sugar was added to that sauce for example. We might not know how much cheese was added to that soup. We might not know what kind of oil our chicken was cooked in.

when we eat out, most times we really have no idea what we are consuming. Cooking at home gives us much more control over what we eat and what is in it. We can choose for example, what kind of oil we use or how much sugar was use. All of these seemingly small things contribute to weight loss and overall health. Number 3: Exercise! Exercise is not just

important when we want to loose weight, but it is important for overall health. Exercising does not have to seem like a daunting task. You can consider everyday activities as your exercise. For example, you can use walking the dog as an opportunity to get a good walk in. If you love the ocean, you can use this as an opportunity to swim. If you love to dance, maybe join a dance class and get moving. You can also follow dance routines on YouTube. The key is to find things we love and use them as exercise. That way our daily or weekly exercise routine doesn't seem like a chore. Not everyone has the discipline to spend an hour on a treadmill or the stamina to lift weights at the gym. Overall, it's important that you enjoy the journey and understand that you can start at any time. Small changes in your daily routine can lead to tremendous progress in the long run.

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