Transient State

With onsite classes slowly returning, I can at least have some semblance of the college life I envisioned years ago.

My last day of prepandemic in-person classes was on March 6, 2020, almost three years ago. I had barely survived my General Biology 2 exam, but instead of celebrating what also would have been my last day of senior high school, I spent the afternoon finishing a coding project due at 11:59 p.m.

That day was the last time I remember having any semblance of normalcy. Everything quickly went downhill after that. Yet, I remained hopeful. When the UPCAT results were released, I envisioned a college life where I was on campus. I knew I would never be prepared to go to UP—especially with my bad sense of direction—but I was excited. I thought of the new people I would meet in classes, organizations, and nearby communities, and how they would contribute to my perspective of the world.

But maybe my view of UP life was overly optimistic. What I believed would only be a few more months of the pandemic turned into years, and what I expected would be a lively experience in UP turned out to be some of the loneliest years of my life. For four semesters, I attended remote classes, barely talking to anyone in my classes. I eventually made friends through organizations, but even then, it was hard to meet anyone since most of us were still scattered all over the country.

I was always told that what makes UP education different is one’s encounters with the campus and its communities. No thanks to the pandemic, I feared I would never get the chance to have those, and that the lack of these new in-person experiences would prevent me from evolving past my high school self.

But with onsite classes returning, I can at least have some semblance of the college life I envisioned years ago.

My first experience of a face-to-face class in the supposed new normal was during ChemE 135, a laboratory major meant to apply concepts related to thermodynamics and mass, moment, and heat transfer. We had two weeks of onsite classes dedicated to experiments while the rest of the requirements, such as the reports, were done remotely.

We were limited to one experiment per day if we wanted to get through all of them in time. As someone who had all their chemistry classes during the online setup, I was worried that my lack of laboratory experience would greatly slow us down during classes. In one of the experiments, we took some time figuring out how to adjust a vernier caliper, a precise measuring device, before being able to consistently use it for measuring water height. It was stressful, knowing that erroneous results could lead to a repeat of the experiment.

Some experiments were easier than others as they did not require extensive laboratory knowledge like the sieving experiment. Under the harsh heat of the sun, all the heavy lifting, crouching, and kneeling left me drenched in sweat, but I was filled with a sense of accomplishment by the end. It was interesting to see the distribution of rocks among the filters in the tower, and how their colors varied because of their composition.

Though I knew the concepts in the experiments, I still felt a disconnect between what I learned and what was applied. My inability to cohesively weave these abstract concepts together and translate them into real-life scenarios is the greatest repercussion of learning majors through an online setup.

If I had to explain what was happening to someone else, I would not be able to rationalize it with full certainty despite having conducted the experiment myself. I could only envision how variables affected one another once numerical values are calculated. I envy those who are able to look at something and instantly say the exact cause with confidence because they can easily understand how things are related without needing to look at the numbers for comparison.

I feel more anxious now with a slate of full onsite classes in the current semester. Though I only have 15 units, the minimum load, most of my schedule is now filled with my chemical engineering majors, one of which is the introductory major for my thesis.

While the two-week in-person laboratory session was not enough of a transition for the return to full face-to-face classes, I’m sure that I’ll eventually come to enjoy it. There are things to look forward to, with the revival of UP culture through onsite events such as UP Fair and Engineering Week. But for now, my pessimistic thoughts over the transition back to face-to-face classes will reign over any good that may come in the future.

Mary June A. Ricaña