Grace Point! April 2016 by Philippi Prospect Ministries

Volume 2 ~Issue 4

April 2016 eMagazine of Philippi Prospect Ministries TM

Introducing

Juvena McMahan, and the launch of her public ministry,

Bridge of Comfort

Table of Contents 3~Notes from Rebecca 4~PrayerWorks 5~Restoration & Renewal 6-11~ThemeWorks 12-13~StoryWorks 14-17~Women of Valor 18-19~Namesakes 20-21~Remarkables by Pastor Michael Fisher 22-28~VoiceWorks by Juvena McMahan 29~ImageWorks 30-31~ScrollWorks 32-33~Seller of Purple Prayer Journals 34~Seller of Purple Tote Bags 35~Seller of Purple T-shirts Back Cover~Subscribe to Grace Point!

Hello to all readers! First, I want to thank you for clicking on the link that brought you to this magazine.

Notes from

Rebecca

New this issue: The new article to look for this month is called ThemeWorks, where we explore a particular theme mentioned throughout Scripture. This month’s article focuses on the various names of G-d. A huge congratulations to Juvena McMahan on her newly conceived public ministry, and a hearty “thank you” to her for choosing to share it with us in this issue. Check out both Women of Valor and VoiceWorks to read all about what G-d has brought her through, to get her to where is is today. Our goal is to be the bridge for people to cross to when desiring to know more about Scripture from the Hebrew perspective, and how it comes alive when studying the language G-d used to write it. The purpose of this magazine is for help, hope and encouragement toward our fellow man. It is about promoting G-dly endeavors and Gdly results. It is not about judgment, or whether our beliefs are the same or not. The Adversary is about division and subtraction; G-d is about multiplication and addition. We are our brother’s keeper! Our prayer is that there will be a blessing for each reader among these pages. G-d bless each and every one! Shalom. Sincerely, Rebecca Matthews Founder, administrator, and ordained minister at Philippi Prospect Ministries Founder, senior editor, writer, publisher of Grace Point! eMagazine Photographer at peinture proximité Artist and curator at atelier de peinture proximité (The opinions and/or beliefs expressed in this magazine by contributors do not necessarily reflect the opinions and/or beliefs of James and Rebecca Matthews, founders of Philippi Prospect Ministries, and Grace Point! eMagazine.)

A Journey to

What is the difference between a trip and a journey? That is the question I am asking myself after deducing the subject for this week’s newsletter. I looked up the word trip. This is what I found. In noun form:

a run made by a boat, train, bus, or the like, between two points; a single journey or course of travel taken as part of one's duty, work,etc.

In verb form:

a stumble or a misstep; a sudden impeding or catching of a person's foot so as to throw the person down; a slip, mistake, error, or blunder

So, what did they mean by that? This is what I found. In noun form:

This got me to thinking about our Christian walk. a temporary stay Are we on a trip, or a journey? What is a In verb form: to stay for a time in a place; to live temporarily journey, compared to a trip? a traveling from one place to another, usually taking a rather long time; a period of travel; passage or progress from one stage to another

The Scripture uses other words to describe our spiritual journey: pilgrim, stranger; and phrases like just passing through.

Looking at the Scriptures, I see why our spiritual forefathers described themselves as sojourners, and I realize that a trip is going a short distance, then not inhabitants, of the land. returning to the starting point. I don’t know about anyone else, but I don’t want to be who I used to be. I think we must be careful, that we don’t trip while on a trip. A journey implies surefootedness and stability, and leaving a place behind that we don’t need to return to. So, spiritually speaking, are you on a trip, or a journey? a publication of Ruth Ministries-The Virtuous Woman,TM a woman's restoration ministry/a segment of Philippi Prospect Ministries TM

What Is In a Name?

In biblical times, a person's name represented their character. We see God changing the names of several people throughout the Old Testament when He was about to make a change in their life. But, what about God's name? We know His is our Father, but what other attributes does God have? This is the name of God first used in scripture. This is the name used for God as Creator, and is used the most throughout scripture. El means strong or mighty, and is used in reference to all gods, including the Almighty God. him is a plural ending that means more than one (Deut. 6:4 The Father, Son and Spirit are one.) This is God, our creator and maker, represented first in Genesis 1:1. This name for God is our strength, sovereignty, and stability. This name means the Most High. This the name in which sovereignty exists. In the passage of Abram defeating the kings in Genesis 14 is where we meet The Most High. This is where we meet Melchizedek, king of Salem, who was the priest of the Most High God. So, out of the sovereignty of God is where Jesus, our high priest, comes from.

This is the name of for God who sees. When Hagar runs away from Sarai, this is the aspect of God that finds her in the desert and tells her to return to Sarai and submit herself. God does not sleep, and His eyes are not shut. He is not blinded to our needs, and supplies them in due time.

This name refers to the name of God when we submit our will to His, making Him Lord and Master over us. It is the name of God that we acknowledge when we give ourselves over to Him completely, giving Him absolute rule and reign in our lives.

Shaddai means breasted, coming from the Hebrew word shad that means the breast. This is the name of God that says He will feed you, whether it be physically or spiritually. This is where the life and nourishment comes from. This is the aspect of God that sustains us, especially when our 'supplies' are diminished.

This is the name used most frequently in the Old Testament. With the vowels a and e added to the tetragrammaton, it becomes Yahweh. It comes from the Hebrew word that means to be, to exist, to come to pass, or to become. This is the God that always has been and always will be. This is the I AM THAT I AM that was revealed to Moses in Exodus 3: 14. This is the Aleph and Tav, (Hebrew for the “beginning/first” and “end/last”) the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow.

This is name that Abraham gave to God when he provided the ram caught in the bush, to be sacrificed in place of his son Isaac. This is the name we call on when we are in a place of desperation, and our need can only be met through divine intervention. 8

This is the name of The Lord Who Heals. Gilead was a city in Judah known for its healing ointment. It had both medicinal and cosmetic values. Jeremiah proclaimed that there was no balm in Gilead. He asked the question "Was there no physician there?" No doubt this name could be applied to Jesus as he went about the countrysides healing people as he went.

This is the name we proclaim when we hold the Lord up for all to see. The meaning, The Lord is Our Banner, is easily understood in military language. In the heat of battle, the soldiers knew to keep fighting as long they could see the banner of their king raised high above the fray. Jesus says "If I be lifted up (like a banner) I will draw all men to me."

The Lord Who Sanctifies. This is the name of God that sets us apart as one of His in the world. This is the name we use to recognize who our personal father is. This name says to us 'You belong to me.'

The Lord is Peace. This is the name we call on when we are troubled, and nothing but His calming touch will bring contentment. Jesus said 'Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you...In the world you will have tribulation; but take courage; I have overcome the world.' John 14:27a, 16:33b This is the name we call out when we have come to a place where we can go no further, and must have deliverance to survive. This is the name that Hannah cried out when praying for a son; when her mouth moved but she uttered no words. She had come to the end of her endurance, and is described as a woman greatly distressed and oppressed in spirit. This is the name to call on when there is no other help, and our own perspective and resources do not apply anymore.

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not (be in) want. Coming from David, a shepherd himself, he understood the name better than anyone else. As a shepherd, God is leader, protector, and provider of rest. The name is the aspect of God that looks after our well-being and makes sure we are not devoured by the enemy. Also, as shepherd, this is the part of God that comes to find us if we go astray.

This name is The Lord of Our Righteousness. This is the name of God to call on when we feel hopeless. When we think we have gone past the place of forgiveness, never to be in God's good graces. It is clear that, as human beings, we cannot attain righteousness on our own. It is a gift of God, and comes as a new heart He created within us when we accept Jesus into our lives as Lord and Savior.

This name means The Lord is There. This is the Lord of the future. The place of the unknown for us, but all known to Him. A quote applies here: Do not worry about tomorrow, for God is already there.

In all these names we find different aspects of God but, ultimately, they all make up His character. (This is not an exhaustive list, but covers most names of God found in scripture.) top photo courtesy of Waiting For the Word via Flickr/License

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A voyaging ship was wrecked during a storm at sea and only two of the men, Jim and Bob, survived and were able to swim to a small, deserted island. The two survivors who have been good friends and, not knowing what else to do, agreed that they had no other recourse but to pray to God. However, to find out whose prayers were more powerful, they agreed to divide the territory between them and stay on opposite sides of the island. The first thing Bob prayed for was food. The next morning, the he saw a fruit-bearing tree on his side of the land, and he was able to eat its fruit. Jim’s parcel of land remained barren. After a week, Bob was lonely and decided to pray for a wife. The next day, another ship wrecked where their ship had sank, and the only survivor was a woman who swam to his side of the land. On Jim’s side of the island, there was still nothing. Soon after all this, Bob prayed for a house, clothes, and more food. The next day, miraculously, all of these appeared. However, Jim still had nothing. Finally, Bob prayed for a ship, so that he and his wife could leave the island. The next morning, he found a ship docked at his side of the island. He boarded the ship with his wife, and decided to leave the Jim on the island. He considered him unworthy to receive God’s blessings, since none of his prayers had been answered. As the ship was about to leave, he heard a loud voice from heaven. “Why are you leaving your companion on the island?” “These blessings are mine, since I was the one who prayed for them,” Bob answered. “His prayers were all unanswered and so he does not deserve anything.” “You are mistaken!” the voice rebuked him. “He had only one prayer, which I answered. If not for that, you would not have received any of these blessings.” Eager to justify himself, Bob asked, “What did he pray for that I should owe him anything?” “He prayed that all of your prayers would be answered.”

Moral: The person who someone deems lesser-than himself may be the very person whose prayer God hears, and uses to supply the needs of those who has judged him lesser-than.

My interviews with women of God. God led me to this beautiful lady a few months ago, with the Lord speaking to me, asking her to consider writing for the magazine. This issue includes her third contribution, sharing with the readers about the effects of domestic violence on women, their health, their social life, and their Godly identity. Here is a little of her story in her own words. Grace Point!: What called you into ministry? Juvena: God has used my past to call me into ministry. From my conception until I was 17, my life had been so extremely traumatic that by the time I was 12, I had already become angry and rebellious. From that moment on, I responded to authority with defiance. It was easy enough for me to see and admit to the anger directed at my parents. However, it took me 34 years to admit my anger toward God. In 2006, I admitted to God that all the anger and rebellion I had used to respond to and cope with the adversity from my past had actually been directed at Him. As I poured my heart out to God, I discovered three burning questions that I had never asked, nor had found an answer to. First: I wanted to know where God was when I, at eight years old, was being raped by my neighbor, a morbidly obese “grandfatherly” man, while my mother was at work? The Holy Spirit said to my spirit, “I was right there,” then directed me to the story of Apostle Paul (Saul) on the Damascus Road. Acts 9:1-9 My attention was directed to Acts 9:4, where Jesus asks him, “Why are you persecuting me?” But, how was Saul persecuting Jesus? I thought to myself. The answer came as: everything that he did the Christians, he did to Jesus Himself. see the parable of the sheeps and goats in Matthew 25:31-46

Second: I wanted to know why God had allowed these things to happen to me? The Holy Spirit said to my spirit, “Comfort other people as you have been comforted,” and led me to 2 Corinthians 1:3-11 and illuminated the words: “so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves have been comforted by God .”

Third: I wanted to know what I was supposed to do with all of this now? The Holy Spirit is still in the process of answering this question. But, in general, the answer in 2006 was that I would be given a ministry to reach women who have traumatized by childhood abuse, sexual assault, sex trafficking, domestic violence, etc. Specifically, I am to stand in the gap for victims between social service organizations and churches. I was shown that social service organizations are doing the best they can to bring healing in the areas of their influence, like referrals to other agencies, counseling, and legal help. Churches are ill-equipped to to meet the spiritual needs od women who are often viewed as outcasts and are only fully accepted if they stay silent about their pain. I have actually been in a classroom with several pastors and heard them agree that the wisest thing to do when a female victim required pastoral counseling was to meet in the pastor’s office with the door left open so that the pastor could not be accused of making sexual advances, or otherwise trying to advantage of the woman coming in for counseling. Grace Point!: What brought you to your present state and circumstance? Juvena: A personal crisis brought me to where I am today. My habitual anger, rebellion, need for control, and attempts to fix my own life without God’s help resulted in me pursuing a relationship that was not God’s best for me. I have spent the last 25 years in an abusive marriage. During that time, God has been preparing me to respond to His call. I have received healing of my emotional pain little by little. I have been delivered from addictions, generational curses, and demonic influences by working through a book The Bondage Breaker by Neil T. Anderson. I had an opportunity to choose my own path regarding the church I would attend. I was encouraged to form my own opinions based on Scripture, and present my ideas to people who strongly disagreed with me. I had a opportunity to gather information about domestic violence, reach a conclusion about my own marriage, pray for guidance, discover God’s plan and implement it in His timing.

In Godâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s timing, everything has fallen into place. I spent two months in a domestic violence shelter. In those two months, I have learned to surrender to God and allow Him to use me right where I am at any given moment. I learned to trust Him with all of the details of my life. I learned how to let go of anger and anxiety, and how to refrain from holding a grudge against another person that God is using to move His plan forward, and to believe He will provide what I need when I need it. I have also learned that God is also concerned about what I want as well as what I need, and to be ready to engage in spiritual warfare at the drop of a hat. God has worked out the finer details of my life by placing people in my life to make this part of my journey possible.

Grace Point!: Where is your ministry now, and where do you want it to go? Juvena: After I left the domestic violence shelter, I realized God wanted me to return to share my experience, hope and wisdom. The door to do just that opened when the event coordinator called to invite me to a luncheon where I could share my success story with both the staff and the women of the house. That luncheon on March 21, 2016, opened the door for me to invite the women from the shelter to a womenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s group at a local church where I will be speaking on April 12th. I was asked to coordinate that program, so I have planned to have members of the womenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s group to bring laundry detergent and prepare gift bags to donate to the women of the shelter, to provide transportation to and from the meeting, and childcare for those who have children. I also plan to have a prayer team to pray with any women who request it.

My immediate goal for the ministry is to have a minivan so that I can transport clients to and from church and any appointments that they might have, and to travel to speaking engagements.

I also need a computer so that I can continue to submit my articles to Grace Point! e Magazine. Eventually, I hope to eventually establish a nonprofit organization so that I can continue the ministry that God is developing in me.

Naphtali My Wrestling

Our names are more than just what we are called. God gave names, or changed names, in Scripture, in the lives of those whose names were changed. Do up to the character of that name? Or, do you feel

Hebrew Transliteration: Naftali Hebrew Spelling:

‫נַפְתָּ לִי‬

Anyone with the name “Naphtali” can look very much like his namesake in Scripture. Here are a few examples of the characteristics of the name. Genesis 30:8 And Rachel said, With great wrestlings have I wrestled with my sister, and I have prevailed: and she called his name Naphtali. Rachel was still barren, so her handmaid bore another child, which Rachel took as a victory over her sister, naming him Naphtali, aptly applying her view of the situation between her and her sister.

They can reveal a lot about our character. When it signified that a change was about to take place you have a Scripture-based name? Are you living a name-change is in order? Genesis 49:21 "Naphtali is a doe set free, who bears beautiful fawns. The imagery produced by Jacobâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s blessing on his son Naphtali is that of no longer being in captivity. But, it is not the same as human captivity, since he is likened to a female deer, but more along the lines of a zoo. In zoos, animals are caged or fenced so they can be admired by the public, but their sole existence relies on caregivers, who may or may not actually care for them properly. Jacob was also foretelling the slavery that would befall them, but when it was done, the tribe of Naphtali would flourish with beautiful children. So, the Naphtali of today might come from a situation where they were put on display and/or put into some type of slavery, but that will not have a lasting effect on their family lines.

Deuteronomy 33:23 Of Naphtali he said, "Naphtali, satisfied with favor, full of the blessing of Yahweh, possess the west and the south." The name Naphtali not only gives its holder the security of favor and blessing from God, but also of a direction to go, home and stability.

Judges 4:6 She sent and called Barak the son of Abinoam out of Kedesh Naphtali, and said to him, "Hasn't Yahweh, the God of Israel, commanded, 'Go and draw to Mount Tabor, and take with you ten thousand men of the children of Naphtali and of the children of Zebulun? Being in close proximity to the place from which Deborah judged, the tribe of Naphtali was one of two chosen to go fight the enemy of all Israel. By the same token, a modern Naphtali might find he or she is in close proximity to leadership, and are therefore chosen to fight against a common enemy.

Sometimes, God will take us to the end of ourselves,

so that we can find Him when we get there.

Remark a b l e s

___

Pastor Michael Fisher,

Place of New Opportunity Church 21

by the word of our testimony

Rev.12:11

This article is about women who, like me, who have suffered abuse at the hands of people they love and trust. Abuse can take many forms; domestic violence is only one form of abuse. According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (or NCADV1), domestic violence is “willful intimidation, physical assault, battery, sexual assault, and/or other abusive behavior as part of a systematic pattern of power and control perpetrated by one intimate partner against another.” It includes physical violence, sexual violence, psychological violence, emotional abuse and spiritual or religious abuse. Domestic violence results in physical injury, psychological trauma, a variety of health problems, spiritual apathy and confusion, and physical death. But, what causes women, like me, to get into abusive relationships and stay in those relationships for a lifetime? I can’t speak for all women, but I’d like to discuss what I believe brought me here tonight. Even though it does not mention domestic violence specifically, the lyrics of Kathy Troccoli’s song “Water Into Wine” reminds all of us that we need to appreciate the miracle that Jesus has performed in each of our hearts. Any woman who has ever been abused can tell you that abuse can change your heart --- even if you are a Christian. “Water Into Wine” is one of my favorite songs. I love the lyrics of the song because Kathy Troccoli puts into words how I’ve felt many times as I’ve walked with Jesus. And as I look back over the past 50 years, the greatest miracle I have seen in my life is how Jesus is changing my heart and delivering me from bondage: to anger, addictions, and abuse. The topic of this program is “How an invitation changed my life.” There are actually two invitations that I’d like to talk about tonight. The first invitation is the one that changed my life the most dramatically. The second invitation is the one that made it possible for me to be here in this room with you tonight, and is the catalyst for the beginning of a new ministry called Bridge of Comfort. 22

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Cover photo for Bridge of Comfort Profile photo for Bridge of Comfort

The first invitation came from a man from a nearby Baptist church who sat in our living room and shared the gospel message with my mother and me in 1966. I was six years old, and he invited me to receive Jesus as my Lord and Savior. This was the invitation that changed my life the most dramatically. As you will see from the details I will share, if that man had not come to offer that invitation, or if I had not responded positively to that invitation, my life might have turned out differently. As a matter of fact, based on the details from my childhood and the statistics for women who have experienced childhood abuse, I might either be dead or insane.

The second invitation came from Kit. She invited me to attend MSUMC with her. Then she demonstrated what it means for the global Church to be the hands and feet of Jesus when she followed up the invitation by offering to give me a ride to church from Meg’s House. If Kit had not extended that invitation, or if I had declined the offer because “I’m a Baptist,” I would not be here with you. While I’m here, I’d like to tell all of you how I ended up as a client at Meg’s House. According to the former President of the American Academy of Pediatrics, “Adverse childhood experiences are the single greatest unaddressed public health threat facing our nation today.”2 In “How childhood trauma affects health across a lifetime,”3 Pediatrician Nadine Burke Harris has discovered through in-depth research that childhood trauma “has real, tangible effects on the development of the brain.” Therefore, “there are real neurologic reasons why folks exposed to high doses of adversity are more likely to engage in health- damaging high-risk behavior.” However, “The repeated stress activation of childhood abuse, neglect, and parental mental illness or substance abuse” increases the risk of cancer and heart disease, even in people who are not risk-takers because “high doses of adversity not only affect brain structure and function, they affect the developing immune system, developing hormonal systems, and even the way our DNA is read and transcribed.”

What makes the story of my life different is not only that I suffered multiple traumas but also that during my childhood and adolescence, there was no one around me that I could trust. These are just a few of the highlights of my story: ●

When I was conceived, in order to protect our lives from physical violence, my mother hid her pregnancy under a girdle for the first two trimesters, which made my birth process even more traumatic than usual and put both of our lives in danger

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When I was a toddler, I found my mother unconscious after she had attempted suicide; and I was molested by a teenaged uncle.

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When I was 6, I saw my father abuse alcohol and become physically violent; I was molested by a teenaged aunt; and my mother threatened to abandon me and leave me with my father. Therefore, I began to fear abandonment and try to control my mother so that she couldn’t leave me.

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When I was 8, I was exposed to hard-core porn magazines; I was molested by my father for the first time; and I was raped by a “grandfatherly” neighbor.

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When I was 10, I was molested by a teenaged cousin; I was molested by the same aunt a second time; I was almost forced into a car by six drunken men as I walked along a main road; and I was taken to an all-night marathon of five hard-core porn movies.

●

When I was 12, I was sexually abused twice more by my father; I was kidnapped and taken to the top of a mountain by two adult men and my twelve-year-old classmate. Then when I was finally taken home the next day, I was beaten with a leather belt, told I was out of control and needed to be put in a home for unruly girls, and accused of lying about where I was supposed to be the night before. As a result, I became angry, rebellious, and determined to be in control of my own body but not in a way that pleased God because I was angry at Him, too.

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When I was 15, I was taken to bars for the first time; I was sent away from home for the summer for bad behavior; I discovered that my boyfriend was a heroin addict and was attending parties that involved plenty of drugs and sex late at night; I was dumped by my boyfriend for the woman who sold him the heroin.

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When I was 16, my parents separated and my father disowned me; My mother and I were homeless for a year; I was told to steal a pair of shoes from the mall and was arrested; I was used to get prescriptions for amphetamines from a doctor so that they could be sold for cash; I was bartered to a bar owner to work as a go-go dancer for cash payments.

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When I was 17, I was sexually molested by my mother; I was homeless for a second time and was not allowed to go with my mother but was sent to live with the family of the boy I was dating.

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When I was 18, my daughter’s father abandoned me while I was pregnant; My mother abandoned me because I had become pregnant and had gotten married; The OBGYN I had chosen to deliver my daughter became addicted to prescription drugs and could not perform his duties, and his partner made it painfully clear that although he laid hands on me to examine me, he really did not see ME. As a result, I rebelled against my mother, my husband, and the OBGYN by gaining an excessive amount of weight within a year, and I learned to use food as love.

All of these events set up a root of anger, bitterness, resentment, addictions, and a need to feel like I was in control, which I carried with me for many, many years. It was all mostly directed at authority figures, especially God. While I was in that mental and emotional state, a series of poor decisions on my part resulted in me getting into a second marriage that was not Godâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s best for me.

The negative emotions toward most of the authority figures in my life were easy enough to recognize and let go. But, it took me 40 years to finally see, confess, and let go of my negative emotions toward God, and to see that my thoughts, words, and actions were against Him more than anyone else, and against His will for my life. To me, God was like my abusive father, and I believed I could not trust Him either, so my perception became twisted, and I started searching for love from abusive people. I thought that if I could just get an abusive person to love me, then my life would be worthwhile. When I finally confessed and dealt with my anger at God in 2006, I was called to comfort other women as I had been comforted. In 2006, I had already been in an abusive marriage for 14 years, and I did not see any way to get free. I took my marriage vows seriously and did not think abuse was grounds for separation or divorce. I also feared that if I left my husband, I would lose everything (home, vehicle, possessions, relationships, etc.). Family, friends, and clergy assured me that I did not have to stay in an abusive relationship. But I did not trust them to be supportive once the rubber met the road. Therefore, it took me nine more years to free myself from that abuse. In November of 2015, it became painfully evident to me that I was going to have to leave. My marriage was failing, my health was failing, and my career was gone. But, I was still scared --- of losing everything, of being alone, of the unknown. Some friends I trusted were praying for my husband and me. One person had even told me that when I knew it was time, I could call her and she would take me to live with her and her family until I could find a place of my own that I could afford. But when the time came and I called her, she said I would have to go to Megâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s House because her husband would not allow me to stay with them because of my situation.

Therefore, I stayed with my husband another month and prayed earnestly about what to do. Through prayer, I discovered that when my husband told me to get out, it would be time for me to go to Meg’s House. On December 6, 2015, during one of his abusive episodes, my husband told me to get out. It was late in the evening, I had no one to call for help, I preferred to stay, and I did not want to try to deal with packing and leaving with my husband at home, so I went for a drive to get away from the abuse for an hour. Then I returned home and went to sleep for the night. On the morning of December 7, 2015, my husband started out pretending that nothing had happened the night before. But he quickly turned abusive when something I said set him off again. For about 30 minutes, I quietly listened to his tirade against me, and as I listened, I recalled that he had told me to get out the night before, and I finally decided that I’d had enough. After he left for work, I packed, called someone to take me to Meg’s House, and left that afternoon. That night, I learned what a toll the abuse had taken on my body. I was taken from Meg’s House to the ER by ambulance and admitted so that my cardiologist could monitor my heart. By January 21, 2016, I had been hospitalized three times while I was at Meg’s House. The third time I was in the hospital, I explained to the cardiologist who would be performing an ablation on my heart that I’d recently left a 25 year relationship because of domestic violence --- and this was my third hospital stay with the same problem since December 7, 2015. The cardiologist said that the stress of living in the domestic violence over that length of time was what had caused my original problem with my heart because it had damaged my heart and opened a pathway to excessive amounts of static electricity. At Meg’s House, I longed to go to church, but I didn’t have a car and there was no one to pick me up for church. A friend from the prayer group at my home church suggested that since I was already there and couldn’t go to church, I could make myself available to God and surrender to being used of Him right then and right there. Then at the end of that first week at Meg’s House, Kit brought some invitations for the Christmas Eve Outreach meal here at MSUMC. I explained to her how much I wanted to go to my church and lamented that I had not been able to get there that week. Kit invited me to the early service at MSUMC ---and she added that she would be glad to give me a ride to church that following Sunday. In that moment, I saw the love of Christ in action through her. THIS (what I saw Kit doing) was what my friend from prayer group had advised me to do! Therefore, while I was at Meg’s House, watching Kit be the hands and feet of Jesus, God confirmed for me the calling that He had placed on my life in 2006. Now that I was free from abuse, God showed me that I needed to start fulfilling my calling by reaching out to the clients at Meg’s House while I was there. My service to my housemates began with simple things, like teaching a client’s little boy how to make a paper airplane while she cooked dinner for her family, and it ended with the other clients asking me to lead a Bible Study there at the House. I was at Meg’s House for 58 days. Over time, Kit would also invite me to my first Celebration Circle meeting and encourage me to respond to God’s call to ministry. Therefore, tonight, by God’ s grace and your kindness, this speech, this program, and all of you, are the beginning of Bridge of Comfort --- a ministry that will stand in the gap for traumatized women between social service organizations, like Meg’s House and churches, like MSUMC.

This program tonight has been an outreach to Meg’s House. You all have donated laundry supplies for the women and children there. And you have seen me and heard my story as a former client there who has successfully exited the shelter and overcome adversity. In the future, I would like to continue to reach out to Meg’s House by starting a prayer group (or class) and providing transportation to church and to appointments for the clients. My role at Bridge of Comfort is simply to share with women, social service organizations, and churches what I have learned from my own experiences. Having been through social service organizations and to churches for help as I suffered the long-term effects of so much adversity in my life, it was heartbreaking for me to realize that social service organizations are not equipped to meet the spiritual needs of traumatized women and churches often block their own efforts to meet those spiritual needs by unintentionally ostracizing the very people who need them the most. As a result, I have met many women who have suffered childhood abuse or domestic violence who are shaking their fists at God and rejecting Him outright, or they are living defeated lives as women of God because they don’t know that they are free indeed. The Scripture passage that I was given when God called me into ministry is 2 Corinthians 1:3-7, where I discovered that God is the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, and as His warrior princess, I am to allow God to use the abuse of my past to comfort others who are suffering . Now, it’s time for me to comfort all of you as I was comforted back in 2006. All women suffer some type of adversity at some point in their lives (or they know someone who is suffering or who has suffered). Women who suffer often have legitimate questions. These were the three burning questions God answered for me. First, like me, other women may wonder where God is during their suffering. I discovered through prayer and scripture that Jesus is there during our suffering in a way that I will never fully understand(see Acts 9:4). Second, like me, other women may cry out to God, “Why did you allow this to happen to me?” God may not tell us why, but He tells us how He wants us to respond to suffering. I discovered that no matter why God allowed it to happen, I could respond to suffering by allowing God to comfort and strengthen me in my suffering. Then I can comfort others as I have been comforted (see 2 Corinthians 1:3-5). Third, like me, other women may wonder how they should cope with the suffering from their past. I discovered that I did not have to keep it a secret or protect myself or the perpetrators. Instead, I could face it, talk about it to a safe person, and accept it. Then I could give it to God and be set free from it. My past no longer defines me. I am not ashamed of it because my identity comes from Christ, not from the crimes committed against me. And I am determined to use it to reach out to other women who may be in bondage to their past or may be allowing it to keep them from the calling God has placed on their lives.

In conclusion, Mandisa’s song “What Scars Are For” is new to me, but it is as meaningful to me as the first song we heard tonight. Pay close attention to the lyrics. Since the human eye cannot see the invisible scars from my childhood abuse or domestic violence, most of you probably haven’t noticed most of my scars. But there’s one visible scar that I’d like to call to your attention. As those of us at Meg’s House can tell you, the deepest pain often comes from members of our own family. I have a scar along the right side of my face, near my ear and down my neck. My uncle, the husband of the aunt who sexually molested me when I was a child, caught me off guard and punched me in the right side of my face. The punch crushed the right saliva gland in front of my ear and the lymph gland in my cheek. I had to have surgery to remove them, and I prayed for God to keep me from being selfconscious over that scar and to use it to remind me of His faithfulness and love rather than as a reminder of that attack. I pray that after tonight, every time you see me, you will be reminded of God’s love and faithfulness. Because I am victorious in Christ, I stand before you tonight a beloved child of God, spiritually and physically alive, emotionally healthy, in my right mind, and delivered from anger, rebellion, bitterness, and addictions caused by the pain of my past. What God has done for me, He can and will do for you.

credits: 1. “What is Domestic Violence?” www.ncadv.org 2. Dr. Nadine Burke Harris. “How Childhood Trauma Affects Health Across A Lifetime.” www.ted.com 3. Dr. Nadine Burke Harris. “How Childhood Trauma Affects Health Across A Lifetime.” www.ted.com

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