Philadelphia City Paper, March 25th, 2010 by Philadelphia City Paper

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Publisher Paul Curci Associate Publisher Nancy Stuski Editor in Chief Brian Howard Senior Editor Patrick Rapa News Editor Jeffrey C. Billman Senior Writer Isaiah Thompson Staff Writer Holly Otterbein Associate Editor and Web Editor Drew Lazor Arts Editor and Copy Chief Carolyn Huckabay Deputy Arts and Entertainment Editor Molly Eichel Assistant Copy Editor Carolyn Wyman Meal Ticket Contributors Felicia D’Ambrosio, Marie DiFeliciantonio Contributing Editors Sam Adams, E. James Beale (sports) Contributors A.D. Amorosi, Janet Anderson, Rodney Anonymous, Mary Armstrong, Nancy Armstrong, Debra Auspitz-Galler, Justin Bauer, Shaun Brady, Peter Burwasser, Charles Cieri, Mark Cofta, Will Dean, Jesse Delaney, Jakob Dorof, Deesha Dyer, David Faris, M.J. Fine, David Anthony Fox, Lauren F. Friedman, Cindy Fuchs, Ptah Gabrie, Julia Harte, Dan Hirschhorn, K. Ross Hoffman, Deni Kasrel, Brian James Kirk, Gary M. Kramer, Gair Marking, Natalie Hope McDonald, Andrew Milner, Michael Pelusi, Nathaniel Popkin, Trey Popp, Robin Rice, James Saul, Daniel Schwartz, David Snyder, Jon Solomon, Amy Strauss, Andrew Thompson, Tom Tomorrow, Sam Tremble, Char Vandermeer, John Vettese, Kelly White, Lewis Whittington, Christopher Wink Editorial Interns Christine Adkins, Mandy Bee, Brendan Bianowicz, Lara Coleman, Emily Currier, Kevin Devine, Alexandra Harcharek, Sam Kaplan, Josh Middleton, Eric Pettersson, Tom Tiballi, Julia West Webmaster Marc Steel Associate Web Editor/Staff Photographer Neal Santos Systems Administrator John Tarng Production Director Michael Polimeno Editorial Art Director Reseca Peskin Senior Editorial Designer Allie Rossignol Senior Designer Evan M. Lopez Designer Alyssa Grenning Contributing Photographers Michael M. Koehler, Jessica Kourkounis, Michael T. Regan, Mark Stehle Contributing Illustrators Jeffrey Bouchard, Ryan Casey, Kris Chau, Don Haring Jr., Thomas Pitilli, Matthew Smith Human Resources Ron Scully (ext. 210) Accounts Receivable Coordinator Tricia Bradley (ext. 232) Circulation Director Mark Burkert (ext. 239) Founder & Editor Emeritus Bruce Schimmel Advertising Sales Manager Angela Serafine (ext. 215) Senior Account Managers Robb Allison (ext. 252), Sharon MacWilliams (ext. 262), Mia Salazar (ext. 250), Stephan Sitzai (ext. 258) Account Managers Stephanie Anderson (ext. 243), Sara Carano (ext. 228), Natalie Diener (ext. 257), Donald Snyder (ext. 213) Adult Advertising Sales Rick Hicks (ext. 236) Office Coordinator Alexis Pierce (ext. 234)

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track us down ➤ Op-Ed: Brian Howard, bhoward@citypaper.net ➤ News: Jeffrey C. Billman, jeffrey.billman@citypaper.net ➤ Music: Patrick Rapa, pat@citypaper.net ➤ Food: Drew Lazor, drew.lazor@citypaper.net ➤ Arts: Carolyn Huckabay, carolyn.huckabay@citypaper.net ➤ Movies: Molly Eichel, molly.eichel@citypaper.net ➤ Calendar Listings: Molly Eichel, listings@citypaper.net

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the thebellcurve

city

CP’s Quality-o-Life-o-Meter

[ - 4] City Council passed a bill last week keeping

future politicians from abusing the city’s Deferred Retirement Option Plan, but it doesn’tapplytoanycurrentelectedofficials. “Sounds fair,” says Councilman Skeletor.

[0]

Another flash mob hits South Street on Saturday night, prompting city officials to consider curfews for young people.“It’s an idea I picked up from a little movie called Footloose,” says councilman Jim Kenney. “I’m halfway through. So far, it’s great!”

[0]

A federal court in Philly gears up for the crowds and media expected to follow Oprah Winfrey’s defamation suit.City officials consider a curfew for middle-aged women.

[ + 1] Fox 29’s John Bolaris complains that an

imposter on Facebook is messaging his friends and professional contacts. Meanwhile, in his secret hideout deep below Independence Hall, Larry Mendte’s smirk becomes a chuckle,then maniacal laughter. “Good luck saving Farmville now, pretty boy!” he bellows. “For the Prankster has decided to make a sport of your life.”

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[ + 1] A federal appeals court rules in favor of

Philadelphia Newspapers Inc.,which owns the Inquirer and Daily News, saying it can prevent its lenders from using their debts to buy the company.“Oh thank Christ,”say the lenders.

[0]

TheJamesBeardFoundationrevealsitsfinalists for the BeardAwards.They all happen to be playing Danger Danger all this week.

[ + 2] President Obama bestows Canadian Prime

MinisterStephenHarperwithacaseofYuengling. Says Harper:“Still in a recession, eh?”

[ + 3] PhillyCarShare announces a new, cheaper planforinfrequentdrivers.It’s called the bus.

[ + 5] City Hall announces a new strategy helping

neighborhoods that are not blighted, but “need a little help,”naming Fishtown,Fairmount and East Mount Airy among them. Fishtown immediately celebrates its “not blighted”status.A bag ofAmerica’s Choice pretzels is passed around.

[ - 1] Aramark asks Philadelphians tovoteontheir

favorite signature hot dog.As expected,the winner was “My Dick.”

This week’s total: 7 | Last week’s total: 7

evan m. loPez

amillionstories Setting the bar low, since 1981

ttention philadelphians: Do you love your city? Do you have a passion for creative writing, and perhaps a gift for wordplay? Would you like to win such fabulous prizes as “one tulip and daisy fruit arrangement courtesy of FruitFlowers” or “four vouchers courtesy of the Bourse Food Court & Specialty Shops”? Well, citizen, mayor michael nutter would like to hear from you. On march 16, hizzoner’s office put out the word to local media types that, as part of “Philly in Bloom,” a “celebration of the upcoming spring season,” the city will be hosting an essay contest, and he wants you — yes, you — to join in the fun! Just head over to phila.gov/phillyinbloom and tell Nutter et. al. why you love philadelphia soooooo much (you get extra points for mentioning his goatee or telling him how ace the Streets Department was with snow removal this winter). On each workday between march 10 and may 31 — a little behind the press release eight ball, are we? — someone in the office of the City representative (basically, the Department of commerce’s pr squad) will select a winner, who will then receive one of the aforementioned prizes. The city is also offering a bunch of discounts to area businesses through the site, which is great and all and you should check it out, but really, we just wanted to know what you miscreants had to say on the subject of your Philly love. and you didn’t disap-

point … too much. Truth be told, judging by the first set of winners, the victory bar seems to be set pretty low. For instance, on march 17, molly o’Shea nabbed two passes to the National constitution center for this little prosaic kernel: “i love philadelphia because it has everything you could want in a big city — in a neighborhood atmosphere!’ are you writing yet?

Did you know that Mayor Nutter is a convicted war criminal?

➤ Stuff we get in SubwayS

Speaking of mayor Nutter, did you know that he is a war criminal, just like Slobodan milosevic, or dick Cheney? Well, he is — convicted, in fact, by a Dec. 13, 2008, tribunal. Or, so says the flier we were handed on the subway by reps from our favorite West philly black power group, the international People’s democratic Uhuru movement (inpDUm). according to inpDUm, by authoring a city budget that included $1.1 billion for police and jails, Nutter committed “crimes of genocide against african people!” also of note: Nutter, >>> continued on adjacent page

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amillionstories <<<

e va N m . l O p e z

police chief charles ramsey and District attorney Seth Williams are all “powerless puppets for white power,” but you probably knew that already. in December 2008, an inpDUm member was removed from a town hall meeting after trying to serve Nutter with a notice of the tribunal’s findings, which demanded the “jailing of killer cops and reparations to police murder victims.” in march 2009, inpDUm’s flier asserts — they didn’t call us back by press time — its members were “brutally attacked” by the cops during a city council meeting, during which they were holding up signs protesting Nutter’s proposed budget/genocide. in the video inpDUm put up on YouTube, the Uhuru members were asked to remove their signs, they refused, and then some pushing ensued. Nothing too major, but enough for two members, diop Olugbala and Shabaka Mnombatha — whom inpDUm calls the “City hall 2” — to be arrested and charged with aggravated assault on a police officer and disorderly conduct. On Jan. 26, mnombatha was convicted of disorderly conduct and resisting arrest and sentenced to three months probation. (Olugbala’s scheduled Feb. 10 trial has apparently been postponed.) mnombatha is appealing — “the court’s ruling reaffirmed what african people have been experiencing for 500 years: there is no

justice for african people in the U.S. colonial courts,” the flier reads — and if you are just as outraged as they are about this travesty of justice, inpDUm would like to invite you to its “PeOPle’S townhall Meeting,” Wed., march 31, at the independent media center (4134 lancaster ave.). Or, if you’re angry and lazy, just send them money: $35 for a one-year membership. make checks payable to inpDUm. ➤ this Week in gay

manoverboard! By Isaiah Thompson

Fast movers ➤ Last Wednesday, 65-year-oLd Suong

This week’s report by Jeffrey C. Billman, Holly Otterbein and Eric Pettersson.

Isaiah Thompson always moves quickly, when he

E-mail us at amillionstories@citypaper.net.

wants to. E-mail him at isaiah.thompson@citypaper.net.

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here’s a shocker: Separate is not equal — it wasn’t when Plessy v. Ferguson said racial segregation was a-OK back in 1897, and isn’t today over in New Jersey, where gay couples are denied the right to marry. But don’t blame the New Jersey Supreme court for the cockamamie compromise of civil unions — blame the good ’ol state legislature. Back in 2006, the court ruled in favor of the gays in Lewis v. Harris — a case brought forth by lambda legal, a national gay rights legal group — and declared it unconstitutional to provide same-sex couples with fewer rights than breeders. But rather than open the gates to gay marriage and all the filthy anal sex that goes along with it, the court put the ball back in the legislature’s court, and the domestic Partnership act was born. Of course, a rose by another name is not as sweet. The Civil Union review Commission, appointed by lawmakers in 2007, collected testimony from more than 150 couples, families, lawyers and medical experts on the consequences of Jersey’s civil unions. across the board, it was determined that they suck ass (and not in a sexy way): “marriage” is a powerful word, and without it, gay couples face backlash from everyone from health care providers to employers to their kids’ teachers. additionally, many folks don’t even know what a civil union is, forcing people like Gina Pastino — who testified before the commission — to have to explain it to a doctor as her lesbian partner faced a lifethreatening illness in another room. “it’s an invitation to discriminate,” says hayley Gorenberg, deputy legal director for lambda legal. “it forces you to reveal your sexual orientation constantly — on the job and in health care applications and in hospitals.” at the end of 2008, the commission unanimously recommended that “the legislature and the governor amend the law to allow same-sex couples to marry” and that “the law be enacted expeditiously, because any delay in marriage equality will harm all the people of New Jersey.” This January, however, the new Jersey Senate voted down a gay marriage bill, 20-14. lambda legal is marching on, anyway. last week, it filed a motion with the state Supreme court on behalf of its plaintiffs in ’06, asking that the court itself legalize gay marriage. lest you think that’s a nifty, unprecedented idea, be apprised that iowa and Connecticut’s courts have done it already, and New Jersey’s very well might do so as well. meanwhile, here in pennsylvania, the crotchety Senate Judiciary Committee voted last week against a constitutional amendment that would have banned same-sex marriage, even though it’s already banned by state law. Which — though it’s something — still puts us, like, 10 years behind the Jerz. how awkward is that?

Nguyen appeared before the School Reform Commission to plead that the School District of Philadelphia clear the name of her grandson, Hao Luu — you might know him from last week’s cover story as “Guy,” the student implicated by District officials as a possible provocateur of the Dec. 3 attacks on more than 20 Asian students at South Philadelphia High School, even though, he says, he was himself the victim of a racially motivated attack the day before (see “The Fall Guy,” March 18). After his grandmother reported the attack, you’ll recall, the school suspended Hao, tried to transfer him out, and told his family they believed him to be a gang member. Hours after Nguyen’s testimony, Hao’s full story appeared on City Paper’s Web site, and by the next morning had been picked up by the city’s daily newspapers. The District, it seems, can move fast when it wants to. Within 24 hours, the District informed The Philadelphia Inquirer — though not Hao, his grandmother or their attorney — that they’d place a note in his file confirming that he was not in a gang after all. And with that, the District relinquished one thread of its version of the Dec. 3 attacks. But what about the whole flimsy web? Why was Hao Luu suspended without being interviewed? Why did officials try to transfer him to an alternative school? Why did they say he was in a gang in the first place? More importantly, why didn’t the District’s $100,000 report on the incident address the more than 20 incidents of anti-Asian violence since 2008 cited by Asian community advocates? And why, as CP has learned, did officials fail to attend agreed-upon meetings to discuss these concerns months before the Dec. 3 attacks? Chinatown Development Corp. community organizer Xu Lin says that SPHS principal LaGreta Brown and Regional Superintendent Michael Silverman agreed last August to monthly meetings with Asian advocates — but the meetings never happened. Brown, he says, was 40 minutes late to the first meeting in September; when Lin tried to reschedule, his phone calls to the school went unreturned. Silverman, he says, promised to contact Brown, but Lin never got any answers. Neither, for that matter, has City Paper. The District says it won’t comment until it responds to the SRC’s questions about Hao’s case. The District moves fast — when it wants to.

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[ is angry, but lazy ]

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soapboxer Jeffrey C. Billman tells you what to think

FEAR AND LOATHING ³ IN THE HOURS before the inelegant stagecraft that was Sunday’s

House of Representatives health-care reform debate, Republican Minority Leader John Boehner reportedly exhorted his caucus to “act like grownups” if the Democrats’ reform package ultimately succeeded. It is a sad commentary on the state of politics that such an exhortation was necessary; it is a sadder commentary that it went unheeded. For much of the yearlong health-care debate, House Republicans had acted like anything but: There was, of course, Rep. Joe Wilson’s infamous “You lie!” during President Obama’s address to Congress last year. There were the GOP top-shelfers who catered to unhinged Tea Party protesters by spouting out-and-out lies (“death panels”) and bombast designed to convince them that reform somehow meant the end of civilization as they knew it. In the run-up to the vote, things had gotten worse: Rep. Devin Nunes (R-Calif.) went on C-SPAN to defend the teabaggers who had chanted “nigger” to black members of Congress, and who had called U.S. Rep. Barney Frank (D-Mass.) a “faggot.” “When you use totalitarian tactics, people begin to act crazy,” he said. On the House floor, U.S. Rep Paul Broun (R-Ga.) compared health-care reform to the “Great War of Yankee Aggression.” Republican National Committee Chairman Michael Steele labeled the effort a “hijacking of our freedom and democracy so [Democrats] can impose their socialist ‘utopia.’” (Later, Steele would say that the bill’s passage — approved

by 219 duly elected representatives and signed by a president who earned 53 percent of the popular vote — marked “the end of representative democracy.”) But Boehner, the self-appointed grownup, seems to have wanted the drama all to himself. And so, he took to the podium and ranted like a petulant child, about process, about anger, about how democracy itself was somehow thwarted: “Shame on each and every one of you who substitutes your desires and your will above the will of your countrymen,” as if all governance should be based on the latest Rasmussen poll. But even then, he couldn’t keep his minions in line: As U.S. Rep. Bart Stupak (D-Mich.) — the same guy who held the Democratic caucus hostage to his anti-choice demands — spoke Sunday night, U.S. Rep. Randy Neugebauer (R-Texas) screamed at him: “Baby killer!” Surreal, huh? The problem with overheated rhetoric is that it always fails to live up to the expectations it creates, and so it will here. Let’s remember what this law actually does: It broadens the risk pool by requiring everyone to buy insurance (or pay a fine); it bans insurers from discriminating based on pre-existing conditions or cutting off your benefits when you get sick; it subsidizes coverage for those in the lower and middle class; it forces large employers to offer coverage and permits smaller employers to buy lower-cost plans in state-administered insurance exchanges; it closes the so-called doughnut hole in the Medicare prescription drug benefit; it pays for all of the above primarily with taxes on the wealthy and fees levied against big insurers. That’s it. No killing grandma. No government credit card for Planned Parenthood. None of that nonsense. In the end, none of the dire predictions the right wing has made will come to pass.

Overheated rhetoric fails to live up to expectations.

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Many Americans, including those who took to the streets to protest the supposed communist usurpation of the American dream, will hardly notice the changes around them, because they already have access to health care, and their lives won’t change all that much. The threat will subside. And when it does, the fears of the outraged thousands who stood on the National Mall last weekend, decrying “Obamacare,” waving Gadsden flags and shouting — among the assorted epithets — for lawmakers to “kill the bill,” will evaporate into the ether. It’s happened before: In 1961, Ronald Reagan, the patron saint of the modern GOP, famously warned that passing Medicare would mean “you and I are going to spend our sunset years telling our children and our children’s children what it once was like in America when men were free.” Nearly a half-century later, Republicans lined up to oppose health-care reform, decrying the fact that it cuts $500 billion from Medicare, albeit in overpayments to insurance companies. Think about that. (jeffrey.billman@citypaper.net)

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smartypants David Faris explains politics

one-state solution â&#x17E;¤ The recenT kerfuffle over the announcement of new settle-

ment construction in East Jerusalem, made while Vice president Joe Biden was in israel to jump-start peace talks, highlighted tensions between the Obama administration and the Netanyahu government in israel, but unfortunately obscured a much more serious problem: the growing infeasibility of the two-state solution to the conflict between israel and palestine. The americans mustered an unusually protracted period of mock outrage, punctuated by Secretary of State hillary clintonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s wounded claim that the announcement was â&#x20AC;&#x153;an insult to the United States.â&#x20AC;? But, of course, monday saw a return to clintonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s â&#x20AC;&#x153;rock solid, unwavering, enduring and foreverâ&#x20AC;? commitment to israeli security that is perhaps the surest sign of an upcoming U.S. election. The bottom line is that the israeli governmentâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s determination to build new settlements in explicit defiance of U.S. demands means that prospects for peace are incredibly dim. The relative absence of violence since israelâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Gaza invasion in 2007 (achieved at the cost of an inhuman siege of the Strip) has taken the conflict off front pages, while the widely known ideology of the right-wing Netanyahu coalition basically snuffs out any talk of peace before it can begin. relations between the Obama administration and the Netanyahu government have been colder than a Kiev winter from the get-go, as both rightly anticipated substantial policy differences over the reso-

lution of the conflict. The trouble with this discourse is that it doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t really get to the heart of the matter. While legally problematic, most of the settlement blocs are likely to be incorporated into israel as part of any two-state solution. it is difficult to envision a nonmilitary government in israel with the capability to undertake a total evacuation of the nearly 300,000 settlers in the West Bank (excluding Jerusalem). The american diplomatic focus on settlements therefore enables a mind-numbingly predictable back-and-forth that prevents more creative discussions: The israelis expand their existing settlements, the americans complain for a few days, and the process begins anew. Ultimately, the conflict wonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t be resolved by halting the construction of settlements, but by a concerted effort to compromise on core issues like holy sites and the status of East Jerusalem. repeated efforts to solve these differences have failed, and now, the two sides canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t even talk about talking about talking. The question, then, is whether the two-state solution is still the shortest path to a lasting peace. There are real concerns about whether the unequal power relations between these two peoples will ever allow for a just division of territory and resources. and the longer palestinian statehood continues to be an abstraction rather than a reality, the more plausible the â&#x20AC;&#x153;one-state solution,â&#x20AC;? as itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s known, begins to seem. in the one-state solution, rather than arranging for a partition of israel and the occupied territories into two countries, both entities would be integrated into one bi-national state, reserved for neither people as an ethnic exclusivity. instead of endless negotiations about how to separate this tiny slice of territory, the parties would discuss how best to share it. instead of demanding a state that would be of questionable viability and dubious sovereignty, palestinians would launch a campaign

Peace prospects are dim.

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$12

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for full equality between all people living in israel-palestine. a reimagining of the parameters for peace is especially imperative because the plight of the palestinian people has long been untenable. Whatever the actions of the terrorist minority, they do not justify collectively punishing millions of people and denying them the two â&#x20AC;&#x2122;hoods of modernity: statehood and livelihood. critics might argue that the one-state solution is even more unrealistic than the two-state solution. The campaign for a twostate solution, after all, has brought the region tantalizingly close to real peace, but at a great cost in lives, treasure and dashed expectations. and a one-state solution has very little support inside of israel. Whatever the merits of either approach, there is no justification for the continued siege of Gaza, and the imposition of horrific material conditions on the palestinians. and if the israelis canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t be persuaded to take even the basic steps necessary to move toward two states, the United States should begin discussing alternatives. David Faris is all about discussing alternatives.

E-mail him at david.faris@gmail.com.

# &

- " ! & & " & * & & ) & & & $ * * & + % & & &** % ( * *& ' & ' ' & &,& &'

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loosecanon By Bruce Schimmel

Tax The Sugar PuSherS ➤ Right befoRe City CounCil’s recent marathon session on

taxing sugary beverages — the coke Tax — i was at the dentist, being examined for the rot that sugar hath wrought. Between pokes, i asked my dentist if there’s anything much worse for your mouth than a coke. “No,” he said. “Should soft drinks be taxed?” i asked? “Sure. Because they’re not food.” That’s putting it nicely. Sugary drinks are like poison. They make people obese, set up heart attack and stroke, make kids wacky and are probably addictive. chicago already has a soft drink tax, and it’s being considered widely as a revenue-raiser. philly hopes to raise $77 million yearly, of which some $20 million will be used to put real food — fresh fruit and vegetables — into corner stores. What’s ironic about taxing sugary drinks is that the federal government actually underwrites the stuff they’re sweetened with: high-fructose corn syrup. So we pay once to produce this crap, and pay again when people get sick. in effect, then, the city’s tax would be recovering federal dollars wasted upstream. From corn syrup to coke to coronaries, the best way to disable this horrific system is not to hurt the victims, but to punish the perpetrators. To take away the pushers’ profit. and that’s what makes philly’s tax unique. This is not your typical sin tax, where consumers pay a fee at checkout. instead Nutter will tax the sellers of sugary drinks. retailers will be charged 2 cents an ounce, based on how much they buy from suppliers. a 20ounce coke will cost retailers 40 cents more. With the dealer being taxed, it’s the dealer’s choice. They could raise everything in the store, raise only the price of sugary drinks, or do something in between. and while it’s conceivable that some merchants won’t charge their customers more for sugary soda, one thing is certain: The city will still recover the cost of this harm, ounce by ounce. Whatever the retailer chooses, the taxpayer wins. as for the sugar drinkers themselves, they’re free to choose a store where corn syrup coke is cheaper, or switch to Diet coke, which won’t be taxed. They could even buy a diet soda and add sugar themselves. Says so in the law. curiously, those most upset about Nutter’s tax are the bottlers, who won’t be taxed at all. in council, pepsi and coke bottlers packed the chamber with truckers clamoring to keep their jobs. The local coke franchise is said to be among the country’s most profitable. president Fran mcGorry told me that this “unprecedented tax” would hurt sales in general and cost jobs. But that’s only if retailers do not offer someone looking for a corn syrup coke the chance to buy a Diet coke for less. makes no sense. it’s in the retailer’s self-interest to encourage consumers to buy stuff they make more money on, not on heavily taxed drinks. What i suspect is that bottlers make less if they don’t sell subsidized corn syrup. and the beauty of philly’s “unprecedented tax” on merchants is that the bottling heavyweights can do little, except to scare workers into raising a ruckus in council. Sadly, some in council seem swayed by the bottlers’ brouhaha. in particular, Darrell clarke and maria Quinoñes-Sánchez need to put down their sugary soda, wait for the high-fructose buzz to subside, and think this through clearly. Because this is a good tax. (bruce@schimmel.com)

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This is not your typical sin tax.

feedback From our readers

THE OTHER VICTIMS Is the treatment of Asian students at South Philly High contemptible? Yes. Has the response from administrators been equivalent to criminal neglect? Certainly, but Thompson’s indictment of both through the quote [about school violence being] “everyone’s problem” seems misguided (“The Fall Guy,” Cover Story, March 18). Because media coverage, even from the alternative weeklies, has been as shortsighted as early statements that this problem is a “cultural thing.” The cover page of Philadelphia Weekly several months ago depicted a cartoon of an Asian student in the foreground and six or eight 20- to 30-something thugs, clearly of African-American decent. The article clarified that those thugs represented the AfricanAmerican students who were instigating the majority of the violence, a representation that does more to reinforce the criminalization of young African-American males than it does to blow the lid off a crisis that has been ignored for several years. But guess what, Isaiah: This is everyone’s problem. We live in a society where power is privilege. We live in a society where poor minorities are given limited access to power, power which garners resources and respect, power which is necessary to survival. Lacking in economic or political power, the urban youth reaches to the one

source of power he can harness (and not coincidentally, the power with the smallest sphere of influence): physical might. There are two sets of victims here: the Asian students who are physically and verbally assaulted, and the African-American students who understand that the limited range of their power is threatened and must be reasserted at every opportunity. Elizabeth Sunflower GerMAnToWn

CONSTITUTIONAL SCHOLAR? In your recent article on Arlen Specter (“reinventing Arlen,” Cover Story, March 11), you infer that Specter is a Constitutional scholar. My question is, how could a Constitutional scholar vote for giving away the Senate’s job of declaring war (Iraq) to the executive branch, [or support] the PATrIoT Act, the Military Commissions Act, [and] the FISA bill, just to name a few instances that come to mind that totally trash our Constitutional rights? It looks like he is going to win the primary. It will be interesting to see how quickly Specter goes back to his old voting pattern. Kenneth Veith SouTH PHILAdeLPHIA Send all letters to Feedback, City Paper, 123 Chestnut St., 3rd Floor,

Phila. PA 19106; fax us at 215-599-0634; or e-mail editorial@citypaper.net. Submissions may be edited for clarity and space and must include an address and daytime phone number.

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Beyond the Score: Rite or Wrong?

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Dresses herself and Jeff “Brown” Cuellar

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gig Owner, Fabric Horse

inspirations Sustainability, cats, tight pants on boys, thick glasses, Alexander McQueen, Army surplus, junk yards, Jomar, Wildwood, S.N. Goenka

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CARRIE COLLINS

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aesthetic I like my function to have a fashion.

current project Moving my store out of the Piazza [ Editor’s note: For more on the move, read Shopping Spree on p. 45 ]

go-to shops R.E.Load, TLA Video, Decades Vintage, Very Bad Horse, Oma Vintage, Bicycle Revolutions, Topstitch, the Store at Space 1026, Firehouse Bikes, Wooden Shoe Books, Jinxed, Free News Projects (freenewsprojects.com), Philadelphia Aids Thrift, Retrospect, Print Liberation and Warsaw

haunts The Crawl Space, Padlock Gallery, Copy Gallery, Essene, B2, Soy Cafe, Holiday Skating Center, Tattooed Mom’s, Honey’s, Cape May

secret passion Ted Passion

The U-Lock Holster

past life Manager at R.E.Load Bags, co-founder of Black Floor Gallery, student of life

soundtrack Dave End, The Dirty Projectors, De La Soul, Langhorne Slim, CSS, Tender Forever, the new Sweatheart record, Cat Stevens

forecast All seven chakras successfully balanced For a slideshow of alternate shots and a photo shoot recap by CP intern/photo assistant Sam Kaplan, visit citypaper.net/criticalmass. CARRIE COLLINS wears a jacket screen-printed by Magick Outlaw (outlawprintco.com); boots from Decades Vintage; a thrifted shirt and shorts; brooches and earrings by Erma (ermadid.com); custom gold half-belt by Fabric Horse (fabrichorse.com). Hair by Nick Cerruti; makeup by Patti Nelson. JEFF CUELLAR wears clothes from his own closet chosen by Carrie Collins. His modular belt with key ring, U-lock holster and iPhone pouch are by Fabric Horse.

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BY FELICIA D’AMBROSIO / PHOTO BY NEAL SANTOS / DESIGN BY ALLIE ROSSIGNOL

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key piece

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DONJA LOVE + KIESHA K.

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Style themselves — and each other gig

DL: Co-founder, The Lyrical Playground (nonprofit after-school poetry program for children); independent stylist KK: Independent stylist (LaKiesha Kearney on Facebook)

inspirations DL: The ’60s, hip-hop, guerrilla warfare

aesthetic DL: Pretty in Pink’s Duckie meets a Black Panther KK: Old Hollywood glamour with a modern twist

current project DL: Director/playwright of stage play The Nigga Files

go-to shops KK: Thrift stores, American Apparel, Urban Outfitters

haunts DL: My bedroom, my mind, The Lyrical Playground KK: Naked Chocolate Café

secret passion DL: Singing KK: Poetry

key piece

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DL: Hats, hats, hats! KK: A good shoe goes a long way.

past life DL: A rock sitting next to God’s foot KK: Burlesque dancer

soundtrack DL: “Viva la Vida” by Coldplay KK: Janelle Monáe, “Violet Stars Happy Hunting”

never have i ever DL: Worn a Wonderbra KK: Worn white shoes

forecast DL: Gothic, dark, plaid, My So-Called Life-style KK: Things are going to be more simple. Less is definitely more. DONJA LOVE wears his own hat from “some South Street store”; thrifted shirt, belt and shoes; tie “stolen from some friend”; jacket and jeans from Urban Outfitters. KIESHA K. wears her own hot shorts from American Apparel; top from Urban Outfitters; print stockings from H&M; shoes, jewelry and watch from Steve Madden; and giant bow made by Emily Taylor. Assistant: Sarita Evans.

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THE SPRING GUIDE

BY FELICIA D’AMBROSIO / PHOTO BY NEAL SANTOS

FINAL DIGITAL APPROVAL

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LINDA SMYTH + TINA NGUYEN

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Dress sisters Kimia and Manna gig LS: Owner of Topstitch; stylist and designer of Fleathers and Rabidfox jewelry TN: Manager/ stylist/designer at Topstitch; boutique/waitress extraordinaire at The Latest Dish

inspirations LS: Materials, patterns, textures and colors. My current themes are nautical nouveau and the ethnic overtones with an edgy disposition.

aesthetic LS: Warrior princess meets urban gypsy TN: Turkish reupholstered genie safari from outer space

current project LS: The Topstitch takeover: topstitchboutique.com (launching in June)

haunts LS: The Barbary, Johnny Brenda’s, Silk City, Kung Fu Necktie

secret passion(s) LS: Photography and yoga

key piece

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LS: My rings, especially my Rabidfox bunny love ring and earrings — I feel naked without them.

past life LS: I think I must have been a shoemaker. I have an innate love/obsession with shoes.

soundtrack LS: The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou TN: Hercules and Love Affair

never have i ever LS: Worn a pair of UGGs (ugglies)

forecast LS: Cut-out shoulders, gunmetal and rose gold hardware, printed Leggs, statement jewelry pieces and under-the-sea themes, especially octopi and sea horses KIMIA POURREZAEI wears a Something Else top from Reward (rewardproject.com); leggings and gloves from Topstitch; Jeffrey Campbell shoes from J. Karma Boutique (jkarmaboutique.com); and a Fleathers necklace by Linda Smyth at Topstitch. MANNA POURREZAEI wears a top by Shakuhachi at Reward; shorts from Topstitch; Off the Chains necklace and vintage bangle from Topstitch; and Jeffrey Campbell shoes from Vagabond (vagabondboutique.com). Makeup by Patti Nelson.

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FINAL DIGITAL APPROVAL

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THAT NEW-DECADE LOOK

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With the aughts in the rearview mirror, what fashion statements will emerge in the 2010s?

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75 50

ith the dawn of a fresh decade upon us, we are provided an opportunity to reinvent ourselves. How will we define the 2010s through fashion and vice versa? Will we finally take a cue from The Jetsons or continue to recycle trends from the past? While out on the streets for our weekly street fashion column for City Paper’s Critical Mass blog, Neighborhood Watch, we see firsthand where fashion is today. In order to get a better read on what elements will influence the look of tomorrow, we assembled an elite task force of Philadelphia’s fashion forecasters. They helped us generate a list of factors they believe will carry fashion into the coming years.

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THE ’90S PEERING INTO OUR crystal ball, we see a blast of ele-

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ments from the roaring ’90s shaping the way people suit up in the ’10s. Fashion is frequently dictated by what was en vogue two decades before. Perhaps this is because 20- and 30-somethings are the ones determining what’s in and what’s out, and they look back on their childhood for inspiration. We’ve already seen this happening on the streets with floral prints, baby-doll dresses and Doc Martens. First-season Project Runway winner, renowned fashion designer and Philly resident Jay McCarroll echoes this prediction. “People can’t come up with new ideas so they always have to go backward,” he says. But should we really start looking to Zack Morris and Kelly Kapowski for our fashion needs? Probably not. Maggie Ricco, who since 2006 has authored local fashion blog Broad & Market (cyborgmemoirs.com/street), agrees with McCarroll — to a point. “I don’t see people channeling the ’90s directly, but elements may reappear to fit the trend.” Which is to say that the soft plaid flannel we loved so much is back — but this time, rather than being plucked from bargain bins to hang curtain-like from frameless bodies, it’ll be made to fit. Current fashion isn’t all about grunge and Saved By the Bell: Matthew Izzo of his eponymous Old City boutique reminds us that the preppy Ralph Lauren look that’s filtering back onto the racks recalls a certain ’90s obsession. So if smooth is your game, stay ahead of the curve by stocking your closet with polos, collegiate sweaters and khaki pants before everyone else starts snatching them from under your turned-up nose.

THE RECESSION IZZO SUGGESTS ANOTHER factor that proves we may be leeching off the ’90s: Both decades began under the sinister cloud of economic turmoil. He predicts the recession will keep shoppers from tapping the piggy bank to purchase frivolous garments. “People don’t have a lot of money to spend on trends right now, so most of the design companies have done stuff clean and simple this year,” he says. While Izzo believes people will be clamoring for basics, neighboring boutique owner Shari Roulin of Reward offers a different take. She suggests people are going to be making investments in more costly signature items to liven up their closet. “If I only have this much to buy my spring wardrobe, I don’t necessarily want to go out and get white T-shirts,” she says. “I want to go out and buy this amazing dress or that killer pair of shoes.” To give the impression that you’re rocking a fuller wardrobe, Roulin suggests bulking up your closet with convertible, transformable pieces like a dress by Complex Geometries that transforms into a hoodie, a cardigan, a scarf and back again. Another byproduct of hard times is an interest in homemade clothes. The holy grail of DIY online marketing, etsy.com, reports a 98 percent increase in total sales this February compared to this time last year. Jay McCarroll says he has noticed a recent surge of craftsters constructing their own threads, but he doesn’t foresee women hopping onto the sewing bandwagon out of necessity. Whether it’s essential or just plain cute, we meet people every week who embrace the handmade movement.

MUSIC & POP CULTURE MUSIC AND CLOTHES have always existed symbioti-

cally, as stars of the music industry have often doubled as fashion icons. From Elvis to Michael to Madonna to Gaga, this harmonious marriage is solid as a rock. Without prompting, each of our panelists mentioned Lady Gaga, all agreeing that what she wears is revolutionary — but far too costume-y for the likes of everyday fashion. We’re not seeing hoof shoes galloping down the street or cigarette shades on the horizon, but the freedom with which she flies her freak flag has inspired some in Philadelphia to be more daring with their fashion. A more plausible pop-star style we’ve observed of late is the sharp-shouldered power suits and leather bindings worn recently by Gaga’s “Telephone” counterpart,

TRANSFORMER: Items like this Complex Geometries dress (top), which can be worn a variety of ways, add depth to a wardrobe; GRUNGE 2.0: Trendspotters predict fitted pieces that recall ’90s alt rock, like this look from Farah Vintage.

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BY JOSH MIDDLETON AND JULIA WEST

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>>> continued on page 24

TODAY

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continued from page 22 100 75

Beyoncé. We’re betting high that this female empowerment look, which harks back to ’80s-era Annie Lennox and Grace Jones, is going to extend into the coming decade on the streets of Philadelphia. “Now you’re seeing girls break out and doing things that are super hard-edge, tough-looking and dominant,” says Roulin. “It feels very Mad Max.” But 2010s fashion is all about balance: We’ve noticed locals getting a grip on this industrial look by pairing studded cuffs and denim jackets with femme florals and sweet blush colors. McCarroll tells us the modern woman will want to ditch the total badass rocker chick image for something prettier. “Think about Avril Lavigne [or Pete Wentz],” he says. “Everything [they] do is out. That whole trend is over.”

TRENDIER FELLOWS A LACK OF options, coupled with an often-paralyz-

ing fear that tinkering with fashion jeopardizes one’s manhood, has left the men’s side of the fashion industry looking bleak. Yet all of our forecasters predict the 2010s will be the decade designers start to push bolder men’s looks, providing dudes the chance to step up their fashion game. Thanks to mainstream stores

like H&M and American Apparel, a broader range of out-of-the-box fashion — such as vibrant pops of color, accessories like scarves and hats and garments that provide a sleeker fit — are now more accessible to the modern man. Roulin predicts that the resurgence of the rugged outdoorsy look will remain popular over the next few years. This means we should expect to see even more woolly-faced gents on the street, only now they’re buttoning into better-fitting flannels. If the Paul Bunyan look isn’t your cup of tea, though, Roulin says she has noticed an increase in futuristic, multifunctional duds that will provide the opportunity to layer pieces like cardigans and knits with funky, ethnic prints. Come summer, Ricco predicts that guys will throw away their cargo pants and pleated khakis for slimmer-fitting slacks and shorts that end above the knee. “I want to see men getting creative and doing what they want with fashion and not being afraid that it’s not appealing to the person they’re trying to attract.” One current trend in men’s fashion that everyone agrees is unattractive is the ball-splitting, super-skinny jean. So take a deep breath, let things adjust and throw those suckers to the curb.

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(josh.middleton@citypaper.net, julia.west@citypaper.net) PUT ON YOUR PANTS AND JACKET: Preppy ’90s styles, such as this look from Farah Vintage, are finding their way onto the racks, says Matthew Izzo.

READ JOSH AND JULIA’S NEIGHBORHOOD WATCH AT CITYPAPER.NET/CRITICALMASS.

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Something New WEDDING AND EVENT LISTINGS

RECEPTION AND CEREMONY SITES THE AMERICAN SWEDISH HISTORICAL MUSEUM

www.americanswedish.org, 215-389-1776 The American Swedish Historical Museum in FDR Park offers a unique and scenic setting for ceremonies, receptions, and photographs. Includes versatile event space, competitive rates, free parking, and easy access by car or SEPTA. Call (215) 389-1776 or e-mail info@ americanswedish.org for more info. THE RADISSON PLAZA-WARWICK HOTEL

www.radisson.com/philadelphiapa 215-735-6000

Graced with beauty and elegance. Crowned with history and charm. Located in savvy Rittenhouse Square. The Radisson PlazaWarwick Hotel Philadelphia is a timeless venue, always in style. Inquire about allinclusive packaging, overnight guest rooms, Tavern 17 rehearsal dinners, departure brunches, bridal suites, valet parking and more!

THE VILLANOVA CONFERENCE CENTER Tim Sweeney, Wedding Sales Manager 610-523-1769 www.acc-villanovaconferencecenter.com On a beautiful wooded estate on Philadelphiaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s famous â&#x20AC;&#x153;Main Line,â&#x20AC;? the charm of early 20th-century architecture meets the sophistication of 21st-century technology. Created specifically for executive training, The Villanova Conference Center combines an award-winning learning environment with excellent accommodations, dining and recreation.

ENTERTAINMENT DAVID COHEN Classical and Flamenco Guitarist 215-676-8903, www.guitarpoint.net Enhance your special occasion with the fiery passion of Flamenco Guitar or the gentler sounds of the Classical Guitar. David can also charm your guests with the exotic sounds of the Oud and enchant listeners with the alluring sounds of the Chinese Pipa and thrill them with the Highland Bag Pipes.

BACHELORETTE PARTIES THE VELVET LILY Liberties Walk, 1040 N. 2nd Street 800-328-5459, www.thevelvetlily Host your Bachelorette Party with a Velvet Lily Consultant in the comfort of your home or in our Boutique. For more information, or to find out how to get your business listed here, call 215-7358444 or e-mail adinfo@citypaper.net.

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ADVERTISING SUPPLEMENT

healthy P H I L A D E LPHIA is not an involuntary component to inpatient substance rehabilitation. It must be voluntary (unless court ordered). Medication may also be helpful in detoxification, decreasing craving and supporting abstinence. What is the success rate of treatment? I think it depends on how you define success. Today, while total abstinence is nice, it is not considered the only form of success. Ultimately, the goal is less use, less focus on the substance and improvement in functioning. Typical published success rates range from 2-20%. Specific programs may advertise their success rate as much higher. What do you see as the benefit of support groups that allow addicts in recovery to tell their stories and support one another?

ADDICTION Q&A WITH JEFFREY A. NASER, M.D.

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PRIVATE PRAC T I C E , M L C A A F F I L I AT E S , F E L L O W, T H E C O L L E G E O F P H Y S I C I A N S O F P H I L A D E L P H I A

What, in your mind, are the most important warning signs that a casual or social relationship with drugs and alcohol may have crossed the line into addiction? When it becomes a primary focus of the person’s life. In my mind, casual use denotes occasional use and experimentation. Once that crosses over into a need for use, then a problem results. Of course tied up in that is regularity of use, physical dependence and tolerance, behavioral difficulties associated with use and functional deficits in one or more areas. In your experience, how does the addiction scenario play out for most sufferers? Is there always a rock bottom? I’ve seen a variety of scenarios. While “hitting rock bottom” is one variation, I’ve seen others in which family, friends and/or treatment providers are able to make a strong enough intervention for the person to be thoughtful about their use, it’s associated problems, and decide to get help. Of course it is the individual’s decision, and only they can choose to move

forward with treatment. I think some people, with good supports, may be more open to that than others. How has the landscape of addiction changed with the increasing abuse of prescription drugs and manufacturable drugs like methamphetamine? What else is out there being abused that parents and family members of those at risk should be on the lookout for? I find the substance abuse culture very interesting. There are trends, and while there is always the “next new thing,” there is also frequently a retro movement with previous drugs becoming popular again. While there is a lot of concern about new drugs or manufactured drugs, and this certainly is an issue, I find in my practice the typical drugs you would think of as being the most popular and problematic. In the teen population, marijuana and alcohol are very popular. Opiates have become the number one rated drug of abuse in high schools, primarily due to their accessibility (most people have an old prescription sitting in their medicine cabinet, and

don’t miss it when it is gone). Benzos continue to be popular. I’m also seeing more stimulant abuse, but more diversion for studying and increasing academic performance, as opposed to as a way to change one’s mental status. We read about celebrities going to desert retreats to “dry out” from drugs and alcohol. What does treatment look like for the rest of us? For most people, treatment consists of a combination approach. It usually starts with outpatient therapy and attending regular Alcoholics Anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous meetings. If more intensive treatment is required, Intensive Outpatient Programs (IOPs) can be helpful. These consist of day treatment programs that meet 4-5 days per week, usually after work or school, and involve group, individual and family therapy. For severe or long-term use, detoxification may be required, which can happen in a hospital setting, followed by inpatient treatment (typically 30 days). Unlike other psychiatric inpatient programs, there

I think support groups can be very powerful. Certainly telling one’s story has a significant impact, but beyond that, the groups provide a sense of structure, support a new lifestyle and create a new social outlet. One of the largest triggers for use is the social network. People with drug problems tend to spend time with other people with drug problems. Creating a new social network that doesn’t use, or better yet, has a focus on recovery, can be a strong motivator and support. What resources are available to families of recovering addicts? One of the best supports is Al-Anon. This is a support group for families and friends of people with substance issues. When should a family member of a recovering addict seek treatment to deal with their experiences? Any time they feel as though the process is having an impact on their functioning. Supporting someone with substance abuse issues can be incredibly stressful. It frequently means making very tough decisions about what kind of support to provide, and when to back off. Depression and anxiety, as well as anger and frustration, are common for those in the support network. Anytime the process seems to be getting in the way or causing difficulties in functioning is a good time to seek your own treatment. Of course, it doesn’t have to wait until that point either. Therapy as a way to provide insight and a new way of looking at things can always be helpful.

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re:view Robin Rice on visual art

DUAL DIAGNOSIS

THE HERMAPHRODITES: LIVING IN TWO WORLDS Through May 1, Wexler Gallery, 201 N. Third St., 215923-7030, wexlergallery.com

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³ LESLIE FERRIN, OF Ferrin Gallery in Pittsfield,

Mass., conceived “The Hermaphrodites,” now at Wexler Gallery, as a premise for presenting sculpture that could be categorically confusing in terms of materials and execution. The pieces in this show might be described as decorative art or fine art. Most also address human physiological ambiguity, perhaps as a metaphor for all dilemmas of duality. Ferrin mixes things up in every way. Although it can all be called ceramic, the work does not confine itself to clay. Jason Briggs’ Peachresembles a gigantic netsuke (Japanese carved toggle) of porcelain, hair and stainless steel, all presented on a velvet stand. The fleshy colors and rounded shapes are pretty if you can ignore an undeniable creep-out factor in the suggestion of unidentifiable organs, body hair and what look like sutures. Something here demands thought, and that’s one hallmark of serious art. “Decorative” art is mostly noticed because it’s, well, decorative. Equally challenging to boundaries, Chris Antemann’s Wardrobe is an oversize version of Meissen porcelain figurines decorated with flowery fire-on decals and gold. The elegant scene depicts two figures seated at a tea table in an alcove framed by rococo fronds. Wearing makeup, pearls and dainty undergarments, the coquettish pair look more like cross-dressers (or undressers) than hermaphrodites. Whatever, some details are too graphic for Meissen. Large prints of Kendrick Moholt’s appealing photographs documenting Wardrobe — as a whole and in detail (pictured) — are the first things you see in the show. They should be recognized as artworks in their own right (Moholt is credited, >>> continued on page 30

GRAND SLAM: Ronnie Norpel worked for the Phillies organization in the ’80s, playing every role from ball girl to girlfriend. NEAL SANTOS

[ books/visual art ]

TAKE ME OUT After years of angsty feelings for the Phils, Ronnie Norpel’s back to rooting for the home team. By A.D. Amorosi

t all started with a curse, but not the one you think. Ronnie Norpel — a local poet, painter and actress whose “ficto-memoir” Baseball Karma: The Constitution Blues is being released next week by Three Rooms Press — was seduced by baseball’s allure at a young age. She put that passion to use, working on and off for the Philadelphia Phillies from 1980 to 1986 as a ball girl, saleswoman and market researcher. “I was a rookie usherette when the Phils won their first World Series, but I wasn’t allowed to work the Series because I’d left my regular-season duties early [to start my] Ivy League edumacation,” says the Wharton business school undergraduate program alum with more than a hint of sarcasm. After returning to the Phils from Wharton in 1984, Norpel began to feel that her hard work for the team — from recovering lost snot-nosed kids to upping the ante on corporate season-ticket sales — had gone unappreciated. “So I put a curse on them,” she laughs. And as anyone keeping score in the ’90s could tell you, there were certainly forces working against the Phillies in that dark decade. After she left the Phils and moved to Manhattan, Norpel became a latter-day Warhol acolyte through a friendship with Factory architect/poet Gerard Malanga. But she never lost her love of baseball. Many years later and perhaps with a twinge of guilt, Norpel

started Constitution Blues — part personal history, part novel — as a love letter to Phillies fans “to lift the curse off the team,” she says. “Besides, Chase [Utley] and that gang never did anything to me. They weren’t the team I’d cast the spell upon. When Charlie Manuel told fans to ‘go to church and pray for us’ in July 2006, I thought it was only fair to lift the curse.” Hexes aside, Norpel’s debut novel — “It’s definitely a roman a clef, a ficto-memoir with a nod to James Frey,” she says — embodies the mixed emotions that drive our national pastime. It’s even got a bit of insider intrigue: She begins dating an unnamed Phillies player (in what, she says, is a fact-based part of the book). “If Phillies fans or their people read this, they might guess who,” Norpel says coyly. “I’m not saying either way.” In 2007, Norpel made it official: She walked around City Hall to curse-lift, and shortly thereafter finished her book. Not only will Constitution Blues be the guest of honor at a book party at Old City’s Patou April 16, but Norpel’s contribution to the Phils’ Paint the Phanatic public art project, Philantic, will be on display at the National Constitution Center this summer after unveiling at the Please Touch Museum this coming week. In a moment of karmic synergy, Norpel says, “It’s amazing what the universe will do when you lift a curse.” Now if only she could do something about the Sixers. (a_amorosi@citypaper.net)

“I thought it was fair to lift the curse.”

✚ Paint the Phanatic public art project launch, Mon., March 29, noon, free,

Please Touch Museum, 4231 Avenue of the Republic, 215-963-0667, pleasetouchmuseum.org.

the naked city | feature

[ damaged, duplicitous women wreaking havoc ] ³ tv/dvd

Not a lot of Philly bands embrace the olde “alternative” tag, but Panic Years do and dammit it works. The pre-emo passionate vocals, the soft-then-loud transitions, the clangy guitar/catchy-melody combo — these guys woulda fit in just nicely between the Posies and the Pumpkins on 120 Minutes. Panic Years will drop their second EP this Friday at the North Star (northstarbar.com).

Actor Jay Baruchel is having a big year. She’s Out of My League opened in March; How To Train Your Dragon opens this Friday; and The Sorcerer’s Apprentice opens July 16. But you need to watch the brilliant Undeclared to see Baruchel at his runty best. Often overshadowed by another Judd Apatow show — Freaks and Geeks — as the criminally canceled program, Undeclared (out on DVD) has its own sweet heart hidden under a beer-soaked veneer. It captures the uncertainty of college just like F&G mirrored the awkward purgatory of high school. Plus, don’t you want to find out why Baruchel is a sex robot?

—Molly Eichel

³ hip-hop/dance Jump! Jump! Yeah boyyy, it’s time to rewind the time back to 1992. At the M Room on Saturday (themanhattanroom.com), DJs Emynd and BoBliz will be spinning all the hot and cheesy tracks from the year Kurt married Courtney, Sinéad ripped up the Pope photo and Dr. Dre dropped The Chronic. At the 1992 Party, wearing a jumper backward isn’t required, but is strongly encouraged. —Deesha Dyer

flickpick

Rodney Anonymous vs. the world

—Patrick Rapa

³ tv show I arrived fashionably late to the Breaking Bad party. I’m only on the first season — season three premièred this past Sunday on AMC — but holy mobile meth lab, is it good. Bryan Cranston is pitch-perfect as cancer-stricken amateur drug dealer Walt, and Aaron Paul comes outta nowhere as Walt’s former chemistry student turned meth-dealing mentor. So many rich characters and complex storylines. I’m almost glad I’m behind in the series because I have so much more to watch. —Molly Eichel

[ movie review ]

CHLOE [ B- ] “I GUESS I’VE always been pretty good with words,” says Chloe (Amanda

Whatever Hawking said, it always came out sounding like Kraftwerk. ³ IN THE EARLY ’90s, eminent physicists Stephen

Hawking and Roger Penrose found themselves in a heated debate over whether gothic/electronic music would be more appealing if the lyrics were sung in Portuguese. Penrose claimed that the Doppler shift in language would be a great improvement, whereas whatever Hawking said, it always came out sounding like Kraftwerk. The debate remained strictly theoretical until the emergence of Brazil’s Pecadores (Sinners), who not only sing in Portuguese (OK, “Humility,” “Hell Is Fine” and “Paranoia” are sung in English) but have also made it their raison d’être to explore the darker side of organized religion. The lighter side being free wafers and the chance to handle snakes. Speaking of snakes, Pecadores’ newest release on Wave Records, Rogai Por Nos (Pray for Us), is a twisting, hissing, slithering beast that’s equal parts wicked electronica and sample-driven voodoo ceremony. If there were a soundtrack for the mass suicide at Jonestown, Rogai Por Nos would be it. Seriously, how could you not love the band who penned the lyrics “Hell is fine/ Sex, dope and wine/ Especially at night/ You should try!” — and then actually wrote music to go with it? And “Zé do Caixão,” a tribute to Mexican horror film icon Coffin Joe, has got to be worth at least three Grammys. Verdict: South of the equator, toilet water swirls counterclockwise, Goths tinge their music with a hint of salsa and all is fine. Sex, dope and wine. Especially at night. You should try. (r_anonymous@citypaper.net)

✚ Pecadores

Rogai Por Nos

(WAVE)

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SPLITTING ATOMS: Amanda Seyfried plays the titular prostitute in Atom Egoyan’s Chloe.

Seyfried) as she dresses. She’s good at telling stories, at knowing what her partners want to hear, at soliciting compliance and giving pleasure. She’s a prostitute, and yes, her words are as crucial to her work as her lingerie. A reinvention of Anne Fontaine’s Nathalie,Atom Egoyan’s film focuses on the particular stories she tells Catherine (Julianne Moore). They meet cute in the bathroom at an upscale restaurant. Chloe’s sobbing in a stall, lamenting the generic evils men do, and Catherine’s inclined to be sympathetic, having just determined that her own husband, David (Liam Neeson), is cheating. At the same time, her teenage son Michael (Max Thieriot) is behaving badly, keeping his girlfriend in his room overnight despite, and because of, his mom’s unhappy reaction. Still, the women’s relationship isn’t exactly friendly. Rather, Catherine hires Chloe to tempt and test David, to flirt with him and then report on his responses. As Chloe’s stories unnerve but also fascinate Catherine, they share a sense of injury and resentment, but also confirmation of their mutual suspicions, Catherine’s premised on her already roiling distrust and Chloe’s on … well, it would appear to be her experience as a hooker, but maybe it’s something else, too. It doesn’t help matters that Catherine is a gynecologist, that she spends her daytimes in a multi-windowed office checking women’s insides. It’s an office design bound to make anyone feel under surveillance, though Catherine’s inclination toward deception does seem extreme — not to mention her investment in Chloe, who is strange and self-serving from the jump. The film — much like Egoyan’s other work, from Family Viewing to The Sweet Hereafter to Adoration — considers the intersections of intimacy and distrust, longing and fear, especially as these come together in stories. It’s in stories that Chloe suggests we make ourselves, as well as others. Unfortunately, for all the poetry and insinuation of its images, the movie goes off the rails near its end with yet another damaged, duplicitous woman wreaking havoc, her story turns more tedious than provocative. —Cindy Fuchs

BRAZIL!

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³ rock/pop

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[ kaleidoscope ]

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[ arts & entertainment ]

lastchance Catch it or regret it

R&R. Likewise, urban detritus king Mark Bradford’s Untitled (Dementia) pokes fun at a makeshift ad for Alzheimer’s sufferers in L.A., but doesn’t dwell on its sadness. Ends April 11, Samuel M.V. Hamilton Building, 128 N. Broad St., 215-972-7600, pafa.org.

³ AFTER PHILAGRAFIKA ENDS on April 11, will the city’s galleries, curators, artists and art allies ever again be as harmonious? For the past two months, the inaugural fête celebrating all things print has pervaded seemingly every venue — and medium — in town. It’s as if we’ve all been part of one giant, heretical, ink-stained collective consciousness — a nice change for a community that can feel disjointed and even, occasionally, at odds with itself. Post-Philagrafika, Philly’s arts scene should have more swagger: We know the city can host a print-themed triennial, so why can’t it host something like the Whitney Biennial? Additionally, Philagrafika has given us a broader, more easygoing definition of print: Not only is digital photography “print,” but so is video, confetti and performance art. It’s these little things that should hold us over until the fest returns in three years (“unless it’s back in two,” says artistic director José Roca). Of course, Philagrafika 2010’s time of death hasn’t been called just yet. Consider scurrying to the following shows — exemplars of the festival’s Apollonian vibes — before it is.

newspapers, magazines and Lotto tickets — things he believes are already relics. “Newsstands are the closest thing we had to Internet before it existed,” he says. “They are places where you can access all kinds of information, and they are also places of exchange. I think it is necessary to begin to preserve them. Maybe we should create a Museum of the Newsstand.” Ends April 11, Tyler School of Art, 2001 N. 13th St., 215-777-9000, temple.edu/tyler/exhibitions.

³ TEMPLE GALLERY

³ PENNSYLVANIA ACADEMY OF THE FINE ARTS

Speaking of prematurely called deaths: Barthélémy Toguo’s Heart Beat and Francesc Ruiz’s Newsstand (pictured) both cast an eye on print journalism. Copies of the Inquirer, which Toguo scribbled over with a Sharpie, line Temple Gallery’s walls, giving viewers a visceral sense of being silenced. Meanwhile, Ruiz constructed a life-size, Philly-style newsstand, complete with original Philly-style

Faced with a society too wrapped up with money, Indonesian-based collective Tromarama bravely resisted making art about its cashhungry brethren that was pedantic or atrabilious. Instead, Happy Hour is a lighthearted video imagining that money — long the impetus behind unhappiness, suicide and war — has tired of carrying the weight of the world on its shoulders, and enjoys some much-needed

³ PRINT CENTER In the Print Center, Space 1026’s artwork looks vastly different than it does in the collective’s Chinatown digs. The yurt it constructed for Philagrafika lacks the abrasive, overstimulating qualities that can sometimes hamper the collective — and not because the Space trashed its triedand-true eyeball, pyramid and intestine motifs, but rather because the yurt is alone, isolated from a barrage of other wacky Space 1026 works. Additionally, this piece speaks best to the fest’s congruency: An exhibit by the Argentinian group Eloisa Cartonera is inside of Space 1026’s yurt, like two Russian nesting dolls tucked into one another. Ends April 11, 1614 Latimer St., 215-735-6090, printcenter.org. —Holly Otterbein

(holly.otterbein@citypaper.net)

✚ Dual Diagnosis

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<<< continued from page 28

The Consulate General of Italy in Philadelphia with the collaboration of

THE AMERICA-ITALY SOCIETY

PRESENTs From Villanova d’Albenga (Italy) to Philadelphia

A TRIBUTE TO MONSIGNOR ANTONIO ISOLERI March 26, 2010 5:30 pm. St. Mary Magdalen de Pazzi 714 Montrose Street, Philadelphia, PA 19147

5:30 pm: “Priest, Parish and People: Isoleri and the immigrant church of St. Mary Magdalen de Pazzi” A lecture by Dr. Richard Juliani, Professor of Sociology at Villanova University

6:15 pm: “Fantasia Poetica” A concert by Carlo Aonzo – Mandolin and Elena Buttiero – Piano Music by Beethoven, Munier, Calace, and Bruzzone Please RSVP to: segreteria.filadelfia@esteri.it or call 215-279-9561 This event is free and open to the public however donations would be greatly appreciated.

Like the reproductive organs of human hermaphrodites, they are not designed to be functional. but not listed as an artist). By obscuring scale and reverently documenting their subject, these images add a thought-provoking layer of historical and conceptual ambiguity. Cynthia Consentino’s stoneware Undivided addresses the hermaphrodite concept directly with a figure that combines male and female into one naked body with two legs, two self-caressing arms and two heads that are kissing. Set in a stylized natural environment against a small tree, like Antemann’s sculpture, it plays with the conventions of mantel-piece figurines. Tip Toland’s delicately painted, highly realistic naked reclining hermaphrodite, perhaps writhing in the throes of sexual pleasure, is one of the more disturbing works. In contrast, tiny interlocking genitals concealed in mated planes of Irina Zaytceva’s richly glazed and overglazed Cat’s Cradle seemed to strike viewers as more amusing than appalling. In a minimal and abstract mode, Judy Fox’s five painted terra-cotta shapes are certainly sexual and ambiguous, but what they represent is not clear. Similarly self-contained, Sergei Isupov’s slip glazed and stained heads are soulful but perhaps not definitive of human hermaphrodites. When Oscar Wilde said that he found it “harder every day to live up to my blue and white china,” he probably wasn’t ready for the challenge of Red Weldon Sandlin’s blue under-

glazed Me and My Shadow, based on the Peter Pan character, or for Jason Walker’s A Hand in Two Worlds. Both artists draw (literally) on the tradition of blue-and-white pictorial plates and vases, although each appropriates traditional china decoration in an individual way. The pieces are descendants of the vessel tradition, but, like the reproductive organs of human hermaphrodites, they are not designed to be functional. By adding nonceramic materials, each artist further questions expectations of “normalcy” in a superficially familiar format. Like much in this show, Sandlin’s and Walker’s work invites us to notice and perhaps question the assumptions that everyday objects project onto our lives. In recent decades, the idea of a clear-cut distinction between decorative art and fine or “high” art has been rejected by many artists, theorists and curators. The recent “Dirt on Delight” exhibition of ceramic sculpture at the Institute of Contemporary Art here pointedly ignored such a dichotomy. Ferrin clearly questions it. Are we also to take from this hermaphroditic show the concept that sharp gender distinctions are similarly artificially imposed? It’s something to think about. (r_rice@citypaper.net)

Ben Stiller plays an asshole Peter Pan in Noah Baumbach’s Greenberg. By Shaun Brady

curtaincall

The Gnädiges Fräulein

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oger Greenberg (Ben Stiller), fresh off a nervous breakdown and recently arrived in L.A., insists that his goal is to simply “do nothing.” It’s a claim that, given the way hostility and uncertainty hover behind everything that comes out of him, rings hollow; the more we get to know him, the more evident it becomes this is a defensive attempt to transform self-doubt into ambition. Not that anyone’s buying it. His return to the West Coast, after 15 years in New York, means that Greenberg, with reluctance and veiled hope, spends much of his time reuniting with old friends, most of whom seem to grow wary and uncomfortable in his presence. While the events of his past decade-and-a-half remain unclear outside of an unspecified stay in a mental hospital and sporadic work as a carpenter, what becomes painfully obvious is that for Greenberg, nothing has happened. Bitterly angry (he spends his free time penning complaint letters to whoever may have crossed his path), nervous and prone to spiteful outbursts, he is a 40-yearold frozen at 25, at the instant just after his life went wrong. His coked-up encounter with a party full of twentysomethings, though, exposes the gap between his self-perceived and actual ages. Stiller’s wide-eyed nerviness, typically played for high-strung comedy, here becomes something more unpredictable and potentially harmful. In his former life, Greenberg was a musician whose self-destruc-

Florence is the embodiment of passivity — she is unable to assert herself enough to change lanes in traffic, and even her pregnancy is something that happens to her, akin to catching a cold. But Gerwig imbues her with a remarkable range of emotion, her uncertainty arising from too much feeling rather than not enough, an utter inability to sift through her own conflicting thoughts. If Florence finally emerges as one of Baumbach’s most positive inventions, it’s due to this amorphous neurosis; unlike so many of his characters, her neuroses and pettiness have yet to calcify. This is the process of maturing, Baumbach seems to suggest: The joys of youth are undermined by responsibility and compromise, while uncertainties and fears harden and sour. A tossedoff line like “I’m watching Just My Luck with Lindsay Lohan on Starz” becomes both hysterical and sad, the picture of how much of life passes in comfortably wasted time. It’s a bleak outlook, but one which the director observes with the eye of a cynically bemused, highly literate anthropologist. The film, as a result, is often incredibly funny, and even holds out something like hope at the end. (s_brady@citypaper.net)

a&e

[ A-] GREENBERG | Directed by Noah Baumbach, a Focus Features release, opens Friday at the Ritz East.

[ arts & entertainment ]

the naked city | feature

THE JERK

tion scuttled an opportunity at success. His return home is an attempt to unmake bad decisions, tone-deaf to the fact that everyone else has moved on with their lives, rendering that impossible. His “nothing” aims are met with either bewilderment or feigned encouragement, barely covering pity or, worse, indifference. The major casualty of Greenberg’s initial meltdown was his bandmate, Ivan (Rhys Ifans). The two settle back into a friendCaption Greenberg ship characterized mostly by what goes unspoken. Ivan’s marriage is on the rocks — which the self-absorbed Greenberg sees as positive, removing an obstacle to re-creating the old days. Ivan is ready to forgive, if only Greenberg ever gets around to realizing the necessity of being forgiven. The sole new relationship that Greenberg strikes up is with Florence (mumblecorer Greta Gerwig), his brother’s aimless personal assistant. Her gofering services come with the house where Greenberg is staying while the family is vacation, and he proceeds from appending “whiskey and ice cream sandwiches” to her shopping list to engaging in brutally awkward, inconclusive sex. Most films would paint the younger Florence as Greenberg’s savior. But Noah Baumbach has never seen other people as the solution to anyone’s problems — given that those problems arise from the grievances and contradictions of a single psyche, adding more perspectives to the mix only serves to complicate things. The romance between Greenberg and Florence veers between shrugging acceptance and angry miscommunication, a love story not about finding the right person but about putting up with whoever’s around. WILSON WEBB

[ movie review ]

³ theater

CP theater reviews

✚ FALLEN ANGELS ³ MISS HALFWAY

chance. The play is a comedy of sorts — but it’s a black comedy, full of violence. Here, director Tina Brock goes for the broadest kind of rural farce, in shades of Green Acres. It’s very skillful in its way, and the accomplished cast goes at it full-tilt. But the amusement it provides (if this is the sort of thing that makes you laugh) doesn’t do poor Tennessee’s script any favors. I wish I could encounter Jane Moore’s performance of the title role in other circumstances — she’s a sensational actress, and alone in the company finds some sweet-sadness that cuts to the heart and makes us realize there’s actually something going on here. Through April 3, $20, Second Stage at the Adrienne, 2030 Sansom St., 215-285-0472, idiopathicridiculopathyconsortium.org.

Williams’ poetic reveries are here in abundance.

Ends May 2, $10-$60, Walnut Street Theatre, 825 Walnut St., 215-574-3550, walnutstreettheatre.org.

—David Anthony Fox

—Mark Cofta

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I am an unapologetic collector of Tennessee Williams’ oddities — and they don’t come any odder than The Gnädiges Fräulein, a one-act play that opened and abruptly closed in February 1966 under a fusillade of critical abuse. Many dismissed the play as an incoherent freak show. My attempt at a brief synopsis probably won’t convince you otherwise: On a desolate island — the southernmost among the Florida Keys — a small group of people are buffeted by winds and assaulted by large birds that are attracted by the stench of dead fish, but stay on to nibble at the human residents. The latter include Polly, a bitchy gossip columnist; Molly, a bitchy hoteliere; and the title character (it roughly translates as “gracious lady”), an old vaudeville performer who has lost one eye and most of her wits, though she still can warble through a repertoire of dated songs and run out periodically to retrieve a fish. (There’s also a hunky blond Indian.) But don’t dismiss TGF completely. True, there’s not much narrative clarity. But Williams was always as much symbolist as realist. And if you consider the play as a dark satire — on the playwright’s own dwindling reputation, and the nasty delight of theater critics who build up careers only to tear them down — you’ll find it full of rapier insights. Williams may have lost his gift for structural control, but his dry wit and poignant, poetic reveries are here in abundance. The trouble is, the Idiopathic Ridiculopathy Consortium’s production doesn’t give The Gnädiges Fräulein even a fighting

Some might joke that the Walnut Street Theatre producing a play from 1927 is just its way of reminding its notoriously geriatric regulars of their youth — but not me (well, not now, anyway). I see their staging of Noel Coward’s Fallen Angels as a genuine theater event — a rarely produced Coward romantic comedy given the sumptuous Walnut mainstage treatment. Expect naughty banter fueled by fancy cocktails from director Malcolm Black’s stellar cast: Susan Riley Stevens and Karen Peakes play married best friends (to Greg Wood and Bill Van Horn, respectively) who quickly become bitter rivals when their mutual ex-flame, Maurice (Dan Olmstead), turns up, provoking an oh-so-Coward war of wit. And, hey, last year’s Barrymore Award winner for Best Actress in a Musical, Jennie Eisenhower, makes an appearance, too! No joke: Fallen Angels looks really promising.

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[ arts & entertainment ]

L I N D S AY B R O W N I N G

[ arts picks ]

✚

NY DANCE EXCHANGE

³ dance

The Community Education Center’s NY Dance Exchange is a mutual-appreciation affair: New York artists travel to Philadelphia to share a bill with local dancemakers, and vice versa. This season’s program offers a refreshing mix of performers: There’s Mana Kawamura, an award-winning visiting artist whose experience includes Japanese modern dance plus a stint with German choreographer Pina Bausch. Those credentials suggest she’s worth putting on your radar. Also representing NYC, Cori Olinghouse is a nimble gal who presents an excerpt from her aptly titled The Animal Suite: Experiments in Vaudeville and Shapeshifting. Our Philly entry is veteran urban dance mistress Myra Bazell of —Deni Kasrel Scrap Performance Group (pictured), offering a sneak peek of her latest work, Melt. Sat., March 27, 8 p.m., $12, Community Education Center, 3500 Lancaster Ave., 215-387-1911, cecarts.org.

✚

STORIES LEFT TO TELL

³ theater/tribute

1 T:

When he died, Spalding Gray left behind a journal full of tales that never made it into his repertoire of autobiographical monologues. It was from this collection that his widow, Kathie Russo, created Spalding Gray: Stories Left to Tell, tracing the writer’s life from high chair to suicide. Adding vitality to the words Gray never lived to speak is a group of actors and media personalities — including WHYY radio host Marty Moss-Coane and local stage darling Jennifer Childs. Russo says even though tackling a Gray monologue is intimidating, their possibilities for interpretation complement the personal nature of his texts. “He was an incredibly beautiful writer,” she says, “who was able to convey universal themes everyone —Josh Middleton has experienced.”

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Thu.-Sat., March 25-27, 8 p.m., $25, Painted Bride Art Center, 230 Vine St., 215-925-9914, paintedbride.org.

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THE CLASH BEGINS IN 3D

Invites you and a guest to attend a 3D advance screening on Monday, March 29 at a Philadelphia area theater To enter for a chance to win text GREECE with your ZIP CODE to 43549 (Example: GREECE 19103)

WARNER BROS. PICTURES PRESENTS IN ASSOCIATION WITH LEGENDARY PICTURES A THUNDER ROAD FILM/ZANUCK COMPANY PRODUCTION A LOUIS LETERRIER FILM “CLASH OF THE TITANS” SAM WORTHINGTON GEMMA ARTERTON EXECUTIVE MADS MIKKELSEN ALEXA DAVALOS WITH RALPH FIENNES AND LIAM NEESON MUSICBY RAMIN DJAWADI PRODUCERS RICHARD D. ZANUCK THOMAS TULL JON JASHNI WILLIAM FAY SCREENPLAY PRODUCED DIRECTED BY LOUIS LETERRIER BY TRAVIS BEACHAM AND PHIL HAY & MATT MANFREDI BY BASIL IWANYK KEVIN DE LA NOY SOUNDTRACK ALBUM ON WATERTOWER MUSIC

WWW.CLASH-OF-THE-TITANS.COM

No purchase necessary. Deadline for entries is Friday, March 26, 2010 at NOON ET. Theater is overbooked to ensure a full house. Arrive early. Tickets received through this promotion do not guarantee admission. Texting services provided by 43KIX/43549 and are free. Standard text message rates from your wireless provider may apply. Check your plan. One entry per cell phone number. Late and/or duplicate entries will not be considered. Winners will be notified electronically. Seating is on a first-come, first-served basis, except for members of the reviewing press. No one will be admitted without a ticket or after the screening begins. This film is rated PG-13 for fantasy action violence, some frightening images and brief sensuality. Anti-piracy security will be in place at this screening. By attending, you agree to comply with all security requirements. All federal, state, and local regulations apply. Warner Bros. Pictures, Philadelphia City Paper and their affiliates accept no responsibility or liability in connection with any loss or accident incurred in connection with use of a prize. Tickets cannot be exchanged, transferred, or redeemed for cash, in whole or in part. We are not responsible for lost, delayed, or misdirected entries, phone failures, or tampering. Void where prohibited by law.

OPENS IN THEATERS EVERYWHERE FRIDAY, APRIL 2 SPECIAL 10 P.M. AND MIDNIGHT SCREENINGS THURSDAY, APRIL 1 - ALSO PLAYING IN 2D -

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[ music picks ]

✚

WYE OAK

³ rock/pop/folk

Baltimore folk-pop duo Wye Oak knows when to get pretty and when to go full-on gorgeous. Jenn Wasner and Andy Stack made bold statements with 2008’s If Children and 2009’s The Knot — two albums adored for their resounding rock melodies and artful production decisions. The quiet stuff was alluring, the louder and rawer parts were ravishing. For their new EP, My Neighbor/My Creator (Merge), they’ve turned the reins over to outside producers for the first time — Chris and Mickey Freeland (of Oxes, among other rock projects) — and the result is something more layered and anxious, but not overcomplicated. “Emmylou” is a flat-out rocker, and “I Hope You Die” is a wonderfully dark mini-opus. Only the remix of “That I Do,” a spooky favorite from The Knot, is taken too far down the studio bunny hole, with reverb, wailing ambient sirens and a ghastly hip-hop verse dropped on top. Baby, you don’t have to try so hard. —Patrick Rapa Sun., March 28, 9 p.m., $10, with Shearwater and Hospital Ships, Johnny Brenda’s, 1201 N. Frankford Ave., 877-435-9849, johnnybrendas.com.

✚

SUGAR TOWN

³ rock/pop/showcase

1 T:

Not remixes. Reinventions. For their new Rare But Serious Side Effects (EarSnake), impossibly creative Philly dance duo Gemini Wolf told some friends to turn their songs inside-out. Adam Sparkles heard the quick-hit “I’ll Take U” as a Gang Gang Dance gamelan hustle; “Wick Effect” becomes a glitchy, ambient expanse at the hands of William Fields. Bilwa stretches out the heretofore broody “Stakeout Spy Van” to eight disco-funktastic minutes. Equally deconstructionist is newcomer Attia Taylor (pictured), who joins GW on this month’s Sugar Town bill. The Girls Rock Philly alum distills pop down to keyboard loops, hypnotic clicks and her honeyed, Mary Timony-esque vocals. —John Vettese

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Sat., March 27, 9 p.m., $7, with Gemini Wolf, Attia Taylor, Lillie Ruth Bussey and DJ Jem, Tritone, 1508 South St., 215-545-0475, tritonebar.com.

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PATRICK RAPA

FIVE SHOWS THAT RULED SXSW 2010

[ arts & entertainment ]

Quasi

â&#x153;&#x161; ONE TRACK MIND Âł JJ â&#x20AC;&#x153;My Lifeâ&#x20AC;?

Superchunk (March 18, Cedar Street Courtyard) Âł Word got

Âł Sleeper hit of the weekend? L.A. singer-guitarist Bethany Cosentinoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s pretty, infectious garage rock drove the kids wild. I caught two of the bandâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s eight or 10 SXSW shows (Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m on vacation!), and even as her voice turned to gravel, we bought what she brought. Hole (March 19, Dirty Dog Bar) Âł â&#x20AC;&#x153;Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m doing this for me, not for

you. If you like it, great. If you donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t, suck it.â&#x20AC;? Courtney Loveâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s never been the cleverest mouse in the maze, and she hasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t exactly been honing her chops over the last decade, but Miss World can still rock when she wants to. Apparently, for a couple days in Austin at least, she wanted to. Love hired some dudes, called them Hole and

put on a few kinda-sorta comeback shows. In a club smaller than sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s played in forever, probably, Love and co. plowed through some new material, including a sloppy version of the new â&#x20AC;&#x153;Skinny Little Bitch,â&#x20AC;? and some old ones, like â&#x20AC;&#x153;Doll Parts,â&#x20AC;? which, thanks to her smoked-out rasp, sounded appropriately gritty. Playing that song, she told us, was a selfless act, her only concession that she wanted to please the crowd (which included both Matthew McConaughey and Nardwuar the Human Serviette). The between-song banter was a laundry list of complaints, nutty declarations and a little bit of sad Botoxed lip service to Perez Hilton. So weird. Like it or suck it, Love remembers how put on a memorable rock show. Slow Club (March 20, Latitude 30) Âł Cute-as-a-bug British folkpoppers Rebecca Taylor and Charles Watson sing heartfelt ditties about getting old and getting dead, but they play it with such goofy street-busker gusto you just donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t dwell. A buoyant, bubbly way to say goodbye to Austin. â&#x20AC;&#x201D;Patrick Rapa

Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s hardly the most representative moment on JJ NÂş 3 â&#x20AC;&#x201D; the downshifted sophomore outing (NÂş 1 was a single) from these often sophomorically inscrutable Swedes â&#x20AC;&#x201D; but thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s something hauntingly resonant about this cover (of a 2008 single by The Game) that makes it more than just a jokey album-opening WTF keeping us from the blissy electronic indie-pop that rounds out the disc. Continuing with their Lil Wayne fascination (exhibit A: the â&#x20AC;&#x153;Lollipopâ&#x20AC;?-sampling NÂş 2 standout â&#x20AC;&#x153;Ecstasyâ&#x20AC;?), JJ strips Weezyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s auto-tuned chorus down to nothing but brooding piano and Elin Kastlanderâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s laconic, reverbed dream of an alto, zeroing in on the bluesy pathos â&#x20AC;&#x201D; and itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s legitimately chilling. Of course, in the final seconds, they just had to throw in a tease of ATCâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s circa-2000 bubble-house hit â&#x20AC;&#x153;Around the World (La La La La La)â&#x20AC;? and trick us into thinking it was an impishly ironic bastard-pop gag all along. Spoilsports.

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the beloved Portland mainstays: bassist added, Rocksichord deleted (SXSWâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s short sets favor simplicity). Wailing on his guitar and standing on his amp, Sam Coomes looked positively overjoyed to be rocking out in the open air. Janet Weiss, of course, killed it on drums.

Best Coast (March 19, Klub Krucial; March 20, Barbarella)

a&e

Quasi (March 18, Cheer Up Charlieâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s) Âł This was a new look for

tweeted around early that the secret special guest kicking off the Merge showcase was the labelâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s flagship band. Yes. (Also: Duh.) Waiting to get in, I tried to explain to some She & Him fans who Superchunk is. They named their favorite Zooey Deschanel movies. Inside, the Chunk schooled them in a tight set that started with â&#x20AC;&#x153;Throwing Thingsâ&#x20AC;? and ended with â&#x20AC;&#x153;Hyper Enough.â&#x20AC;?

the naked city | feature

[ tex mix ]

â&#x20AC;&#x201D;K. Ross Hoffman

â&#x153;&#x161; Read more/see more from SXSW 2010 at citypaper.net/criticalmass.

â&#x20AC;&#x201C;A.O. â&#x20AC;&#x201C;A.O. Scott, Scott, THE THE NEW NEW YORK YORK TIMES TIMES

LIVELY ARTS SERIES

SCIENCE CENTER THEATER PRESENTS

â&#x20AC;&#x201C;Thelma â&#x20AC;&#x201C;Thelma Adams, Adams, US US WEEKLY WEEKLY

â&#x20AC;&#x201C;A.O. â&#x20AC;&#x201C;A.O. Scott Scott and and Michael Michael Phillips, Phillips, AT AT THE THE MOVIES MOVIES

Mary Lou Williams

FRIDAY, MARCH 26, 2010 8PM Celebrate Womenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s History Month and the 100th A n n i v e r s a r y o f o n e o f A m e r i c a â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s g r e a t e s t j a z z composers! Composer and arranger for such greats as Duke Ellington and Benny Goodman, friend, mentor, and teacher to Thelonious Monk, Charlie Parker, and Dizzy Gillespie, she is probably the most influential woman in the history of jazz. This tribute concert features an all-star big band, small ensemble, and chorus per forming a selection of Ms. Williams compositions led by Artistic Director/Arranger/and Vibraphonist Cecilia Smith and assistant conductor Cecil Bridgewater along with featured soloist Amina Claudine Myers on piano.

Cecilia Smith

Mary Lou Williams Resurgence

Made possible by a grant from the National Endowment for the Arts American Masterpieces Program For more Information and tickets

340 DeKalb Pike (Route 202 and Morris Road) Blue Bell, PA

CENTER CITY UNITED ARTISTS RIVERVIEW STADIUM 17 1400 S Columbus Blvd 800/FANDANGO #650

PENNSYLVANIA AMC NESHAMINY 24 Bensalem 215/722-4262

REGAL CINEMAS WARRINGTON CROSSING 22 800/FANDANGO #343

NEW JERSEY AMC HAMILTON 24 325 Sloan Avenue 609/890-8307

AMC LOEWS CHERRY HILL 24 800/FANDANGO #748

SHOWCASE AT THE RITZ CENTER 900 Haddonfield Berlin Rd 856/770-0600

215 641-6518 or go to www.mc3.edu/livelyarts

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MARY LOU WILLIAMS RESURGENCE PROJECT

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RIVETING AND DARKLY FUNNY. Bong Joon-Ho is a brilliant filmmaker and dazzling crowd pleaser.”

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Hot Tub Time Machine

✚ NEW CHLOE|BSee Cindy Fuchs’ review on p. 29. (UA Riverview)

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CITY ISLAND|D

COLUMBIA PICTURES PRESENTS IN ASSOCIATION WITH RELATIVITY MEDIA AN ORIGINAL FILM PRODUCTION AN ANDY TENNANT FILM “THE BOUNTY HUNTER” WITH CHRISTINE BARANSKI MUSICBY GEORGE FENTON EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS WINK MORDAUNT ORI MARMUR ROBYN MEISINGER DONALD J. LEE, JR. RYAN KAVANAUGH WRITTEN PRODUCED DIRECTED BY SARAH THORP BY NEAL H. MORITZ BY ANDY TENNANT CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS FOR THEATERS AND SHOWTIMES

As Raymond De Felitta’s camera wanders up to each member of the Rizzo clan, each surreptitiously enjoying a cigarette out of each others’ sight, we’re reminded: Everyone in this family has a secret. This is isn’t the first time De Felitta has told us this — the film opens, in fact, with Vince Rizzo (Andy Garcia) promising to reveal his “secret of secrets” — and it won’t be the last. City Island may be named for an incongruously quaint fishing village on the outskirts of the Bronx, but it unfolds with all the subtlety of a Bronx cheer. Vince, a prison guard, has always wanted to be Marlon Brando, but is too embarrassed by the desire to tell his wife, Joyce (Julianna Margulies); he also, it turns out, has a son he abandoned as a baby. They’re reunited when the now24-year-old Tony (Steven Strait) gets locked up in Vince’s jail. Without explaining why, father arranges to bring son home to spend a bit of parole time with the family. Joyce, meanwhile, misinterprets Vince’s sneaking off to acting class as evidence of an affair, and determines to avenge the betrayal by seducing Tony. Their kids, with whom they communicate via exasperating shouting matches around the dinner table, are a college student-turned-stripper and a son with a kink for overweight women. It is, in other words, an Oedipal comedy of errors predicated on a family’s lack of communication, a level of misunderstanding unrealistic outside of the most contrived sitcom situations. —Shaun Brady (Ritz at the Bourse)

GREENBERG|ASee Shaun Brady’s review on p. 31. (Ritz East)

HOT TUB TIME MACHINE|BBest you can hope for from a movie like Hot Tub Time Machine is acting and direction good enough to prop up the ludicrous concept for an hour and a half, and that the best lines weren’t used in the trailer. Former BFF man-children — Adam (John Cusack), Nick (Craig Robinson) and Lou (Rob Corddry) — get together after Lou’s questionable suicide attempt and take a road trip to the ol’ ski resort. After a night of boozing, they’re transported via the titular magic tub back in time to Winterfest ’86, to relive/rewrite one fateful weekend. Tagging along is Adam’s geeky nephew Jacob (Greek’s Clark Duke), who has to keep his shit together after meeting his coked-out slut mom. Besides the continuity problems, HTTM falters most when it pursues actual storytelling (Lizzy Caplan as Cusack’s love interest is a mere diversion, and Chevy Chase is totally wasted as the mystical hot tub repairman) instead of just making silly ’80s movie references and blowjob jokes. But it’s all good silly fun when the plot is kept barebones simple. Everyone is smart enough not to take the proceedings too seriously, especially Corddry, who excels as the loser archetype (as Nick puts it: “He’s an asshole, but he’s our asshole”). Yeah, a hot tub time machine is a ridiculous idea. So is a DeLorean time machine. —Molly Eichel (Read Molly Eichel’s interview with Rob Corddry at citypaper.net/criticalmass.) (UA Grant; UA Riverview) HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON A haiku: Thanks dude but we know how to drain the ol’ dragon. Oops. We read that wrong. (Not reviewed) (UA Grant; UA Riverview; UA 69th St.)

TERRIBLY HAPPY|BIn Henrik Ruben Ganz’s moody thriller, big-city cop Jacob Cedergen gets bounced to rural Denmark, a small town

SURPRISE COMEDY OF THE SPRING... A PERFECT MIX OF HUMOR AND HEART!” -Ben Lyons, E!

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✚ CONTINUING

where secrets are interred in the local bog. The town’s provincial dialect eats away at him, as does the life an uncontrolled temper forced him to leave behind (serious shades of Nicholas Ray’s On Dangerous Ground), but his citified arrogance is worn down by the locals’ insular and mysterious ways. In an attempt to atone for his past, he takes up the case of an abused woman (Lena Maria Christensen) whose husband (Pusher’s Kim Bodnia) doesn’t take kindly to the interference — nor, as it turns out, does anyone else. The town has its own way of dealing with problems, and the law doesn’t enter into it. Ganz cooks up a compelling paranoid mood, and the movie’s liquid palette makes the whole town look as if it had just been pulled out of the swamp. But there’s not enough to sustain the tone, and eventually it burns itself out. —Sam Adams (Ritz at the Bourse)

ALICE IN WONDERLAND|COn paper, Tim Burton and Lewis Carroll’s classic texts shouldn’t be this mismatched, but Burton doesn’t take the time to breathe in all of Carroll’s eccentricities. In Alice in Wonderland, Burtons’s given all the tools that CGI allows and never lets us have a peek at what’s over there, just out of sight. As a kids-geared, big-budget actioner, it works. But as an entry into an auteur’s filmography, it’s disappointing. —M.E. (Bridge; Pearl; UA Grant; UA Main St.; UA Riverview; UA 69th St.) THE ART OF THE STEAL|B+ The title reveals all you need to know about director Don Argott’s take on the Barnes Foundation’s move from Merion to the Parkway: The Art of the Steal is an art-world heist film, unfolding with enough gripping

“REMARKABLE! THE WONDER OF THE FILM IS HOW GOOD IT MAKES US FEEL! Extremely entertaining. ‘Greenberg’ scintillates with intelligence and razor’s-edge humor.” –JOE MORGENSTERN, THE WALL STREET JOURNAL

“WICKEDLY HUMOROUS. BEN STILLER LIKE YOU’VE NEVER SEEN HIM.” -KAREN DURBIN, ELLE

“I LOVE THIS MOVIE. SEE IT.”

intrigue to make Barnes feel like Bourne. Dr. Barnes himself emerges as the curmudgeonly antihero, with a genuine and eccentric love of art but, more importantly, a serious irritation with Center City. Decidedly and righteously one-sided, Argott’s film is perhaps too dismissive of art institutions’ very real economic woes, but it’s hard to take the side of the self-satisfied Philadelphia elites, most of whom refused to participate. —S.B. (Ritz Five)

THE GHOST WRITER|BClouded by, but completed before, Roman Polanski’s recent arrest, the transposition of Robert Harris’ novel is less intriguing for its protagonist, a journalist gamely played by Ewan McGregor, than for its central character, a former British prime minister (Pierce Brosnan) whose imminent memoirs may contain bombshells worth killing

to conceal. Polanski’s work has been riddled with paranoia, although it’s less intriguing when it turns out to be justified. The metaphysical creepiness that underlies Polanski’s best films is nowhere to be found. —S.A. (Ritz Five)

THE GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO|B Based on the first book of Stieg Larsson’s Millennium Trilogy, Niels Arden Oplev’s movie delivers a story full of intrigue and ugliness, in a manner that might best be called elegant. Financial journalist Mikael Blomkvist (Michael Nyqvist) is in need of a job and some measure of redemption after he’s convicted of libel. And so he agrees to investigate the 40-year-old murder of one Harriet Vanger, wealthy, blond and apparently visibly frightened in the photos he digs up. Mikael is aided by bisexual computer hacker Lisbeth (Noomi Rapace), more or less charac-

“DELECTABLY WEIRD AND WICKEDLY ENTERTAINING. SO PROFICIENTLY CONSTRUCTED ON EVERY FRONT AND SO SKILLFULLY PUT TOGETHER THAT IT CAN’T HELP BUT TRIUMPH.”-SAN FRANCISCO EXAMINER “A WITTY, EXPERTLY CONSTRUCTED PSYCHOLOGICAL THRILLER.”-THE NEW YORK TIMES “FEELS LIKE SOME OF THE GREAT THRILLERS OF THE ‘70S LIKE SAM PECKINPAH’S STRAW DOGS TO THE LIKES OF HITCHCOCK AND THE COEN BOTHERS.”-COMINGSOON.NET

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“SO ENTERTAINING, SO UNBELIEVABLY UNIQUE!” -CARYN JAMES, MARIE CLAIRE

[ movie shorts ]

terized by her heavy eyeliner, black leather and multiple piercings. It helps the investigation that she has a photographic memory as well as an intuitive sense of who’s guilty, especially as the case turns up serial murders, Nazis and repressed obsessions. —Cindy Fuchs (Ritz Five)

GREEN ZONE|BChief Warrant Officer Roy Miller (Matt Damon), jaded after coming up empty-handed WMD raids, begins questioning the true purpose of his presence, only to be rebuked for falling out of lockstep with The Mission. He decides to check up on the source on his own, and stirs up a hornet’s nest of bureaucratic double-dealings. The movie is exhilarating as an action entry, but its leanings, however representative of stateside opposition to the conflict they may be, are childishly oversimplified. Damon’s Miller is not a soldier but an ideologue. —Drew Lazor (Bridge; Pearl; UA Grant; UA Riverview; UA 69th St.)

MOTHER|ABong Joon-ho’s Mother plays tricks with a gritty policier, which also becomes a slapstick comedy, and both a melo- and psycho-drama without ever conceding its whodunit identity. The mystery of who killed the schoolgirl found draped over the roof of an abandoned building in a small village struggles for attention with another, perhaps deeper mystery: the relationship between the title character, played with an unsparing fierceness by Kim Hye-Ja, and her Beatle-haired, mentally disabled 27-year-old son, Do-joon (Won Bin). The two mysteries soon become one, and reveal more about each other than could ever be gleaned by solving one on its own. Bong delights in finding opportunities for offbeat humor in the most tragic situations, resulting more often in discomfort than laughter, albeit an endearing discomfort. —S.B. (Ritz at the Bourse)

A PROPHET|B

The highly acclaimed new film from the director of

‘THE SQUID AND THE WHALE.’

A FILM BY ACADEMY AWARD® NOMINEE HENRIK RUBEN GENZ

EXCLUSIVE ENGAGEMENTS START FRIDAY, MARCH 26TH CENTER CITY LANDMARK THEATRES RITZ EAST 2nd St btwn Chestnut & Walnut Sts 215/925-7900

PENNSYLVANIA AMC NESHAMINY 24 Bensalem 888/AMC-4FUN INDEPENDENT AMBLER THEATER 108 E Butler Ave 215/345-7855 INDEPENDENT BRYN MAWR FILM INSTITUTE 824 W Lancaster Ave 610/527-9898

INDEPENDENT COUNTY THEATRE Doylestown 215/345-6789 REGAL CINEMAS PLYMOUTH MEETING 10 Conshohocken 800/FANDANGO 335# REGAL CINEMAS WARRINGTON CROSSING 22 Warrington 800/FANDANGO 343#

CHECK THEATRE DIRECTORIES OR CALL FOR SOUND INFORMATION AND SHOWTIMES

NEW JERSEY SHOWCASE AT THE RITZ CENTER 900 Haddonfield - Berlin Rd 856/770-0600

SPECIAL ENGAGEMENTS NO PASSES OR DISCOUNT COUPONS ACCEPTED

MOBILE USERS: For Showtimes – Text GREENBERG with your ZIP CODE to 43KIX (43549)

STARTS FRIDAY MARCH 26

LANDMARK THEATRES

RITZ AT THE BOURSE Center City 215-925-7900 DAILY: 1, 4, 7, 9:30

Set largely in a French cell block, Jacques Audiard’s A Prophet is less a film noir than gris, its scuffed-up surfaces suggesting a world where everything and everyone is just about spent. Malik el Djebena (Tahar Rahim), a young Arab with no family, is slapped with a six-year term for a minor offense, and quickly becomes the latest tool in a conflict between the Corsican gangsters who control the prison and its large Muslim population. Although the movie stretches over more than two and a half hours and several years, it sticks to the details and avoids

BROOKLYN'S FINEST | CUA Riverview

Ritz Five REMEMBER ME | D+ UA Riverview SHUTTER ISLAND | B UA Riverview For movie full reviews and showtimes, go to citypaper.net/movies.

mythologizing its hero; Audiard has called it his â&#x20AC;&#x153;anti-Scarface.â&#x20AC;? Anti- or no, however, A Prophet too closely follows the outlines of the up-from-thestreets gangster movie to convincingly subvert it. â&#x20AC;&#x201D;S.A. (Ritz Five)

REPO MEN

â&#x20AC;&#x201C;A.O. Scott and Michael Phillips, AT THE MOVIES

THE SECRET OF THE KELLS|B+ Brendan (Evan McGuire) is a medieval boy monk-in-training at the Kilkenny abbey of Kells headed up by his stern uncle, Abbot Cellach (Brendan Gleeson). He becomes fascinated by Aiden (Mick Lally), a famous manuscript illuminator who was run out of his former home by invading Norsemen. When Aiden needs assistance in completing the holy Book of Kells, he calls upon the plucky kid, who ventures outside the abbey walls and into danger, only to be saved by Aisling (Christen Mooney), a sprite-girl with long silver locks. The story feels a bit cluttered and compact, but the filmâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s saving grace is its astounding animation. â&#x20AC;&#x201D;M.E. (Ritz at the Bourse)

SHEâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S OUT OF MY LEAGUE|C+ The teasing, pop culture-referencing repartee between Jay Baruchel and his group of friends wonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t seem unfamiliar to those who remember Baruchel in similar exchanges in Knocked Up. But instead of using the mismatched romance between Baruchel and Alice Eve as an excuse to explore guy-anxiety, the relationship is allowed to take center stage and plays out with a surprising sweetness. â&#x20AC;&#x201D;S.B. (Bridge; UA Grant; UA Riverview; UA 69th St.)

â&#x153;&#x161; REPERTORY FILM Send repertory film listings to molly.eichel@citypaper.net.

THE BALCONY Trocadero Theater, 1003 Arch St., 215-922-LIVE, thetroc.com. Ferris Buellerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Day Off (1986, U.S., 103 min.): If theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d played by the rules, theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d be in gym right now. Mon., March 29, 8 p.m., $3 goes toward a drink or snack.

CENTER CITY UNITED ARTISTS RIVERVIEW STADIUM 17 1400 S Columbus Blvd 800/FANDANGO #650

PENNSYLVANIA NEW JERSEY AMC REGAL CINEMAS AMC HAMILTON 24 AMC LOEWS SHOWCASE AT THE RITZ NESHAMINY 24 WARRINGTON CHERRY HILL 24 325 Sloan Avenue CENTER 900 Haddonfield Bensalem CROSSING 22 800/FANDANGO #748 Berlin Rd 856/770-0600 609/890-8307 215/722-4262 800/FANDANGO #343

THE RUNAWAYS|BBest known for the perennially electrifying teenage girl-power rave up â&#x20AC;&#x153;Cherry Bomb,â&#x20AC;? The Runaways were a blip on the punk/hard rock radar

â&#x20AC;&#x201C;Kirk â&#x20AC;&#x201C;Kirk Honeycutt, Honeycutt, THE THE HOLLYWOOD HOLLYWOOD REPORTER REPORTER

P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R | M A R C H 2 5 - A P R I L 1 , 2 0 1 0 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T |

Jude Law stars as Remy, an employee of a shadowy (arenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t they all?) corporation called The Union that sells mechanical organs to transplant patients. Remyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s job: When clients fail to pay their exorbitant bills, he repossesses the organs by sneaking up on the unfortunates, slicing them open and taking whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s his. But his wife (Black Bookâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Carice van Houten) is unhappy with the moral implications of killing people for a living. To appease her, Remyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s plan is to switch to sales, until his co-repo-er/BFF, Jake (Forest Whitaker), persuades him to take just â&#x20AC;Ś one â&#x20AC;Ś more â&#x20AC;Ś job. But a faulty defibrillator causes Remy to need a heart transplant of his own. With his robot ticker, Remy canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t do his normal slicing and dicing without a freakout, and soon, heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s up for repo himself. So Remy goes on the run with the heavily transplanted Beth (Alice Braga) to thwart the system. Shot in cool tones, Repo Men is highly stylized, but like Remy, it has no heart. Thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s little suspense: Remy is either repo-ing or wallowing. But if Repo Men is resuscitated by anything, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the excellent soundtrack (coincidentally, director Miguel Sapochnik also directed the video for UNKLEâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s â&#x20AC;&#x153;Burn My Shadow,â&#x20AC;? which he uses here to great effect) and the presence of Liev Schreiber as the Ăźber-slimy Frank, a Union salesman whose every word slides maliciously out of his mouth. â&#x20AC;&#x201D;M.E. (Pearl; UA Grant; UA Riverview)

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THE LAST STATION | B-

â&#x20AC;&#x201C;A.O. Scott, THE NEW YORK TIMES

during the late â&#x20AC;&#x2122;70, more important for spawning the careers of Joan Jett and, to a lesser extent, Lita Ford than for their own output. Kristen Stewart marries her usual twitchiness to a badass glare and snarl as Jett, but the film largely belongs to Dakota Fanningâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Cherie Currie, the bandâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s lead singer and major casualty. But more often than not, the film is pulled out from under both of them by professional scene-stealer Michael Shannon as mad impresario Kim Fowley. For its first half-hour, as the band forms and finds its identity, director Floria Sigismondi maintains an invigorating nervous energy. But once the girls hit the road and success takes its inevitable toll, Sigismondi surrenders to Behind the Music clichĂŠs. â&#x20AC;&#x201D;S.B. (UA Riverview)

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CHESTNUT HILL FILM GROUP

7:30 p.m., free.

8711 Germantown Ave., 215-2480977, armcinema25.com. A Matter of Life and Death (aka Stairway to Heaven) (1946, U.K., 104 min.):

A.R. McElhinney closes out the series for the season with this film about a pilot (David Niven) who cheats death but then must defend his right to keep living in heaven. Tue., March 23,

â&#x20AC;&#x153; YOUR

CINEMA 16:9 35 N. Lansdowne Ave., Lansdowne, 484-461-7676, cinema169.com. Mine (2009, France/U.K./U.S., 106 min.): A doc about the relationship people have with their pets set against Hurricane Katrina. Through Thu., April 1, 2, 7 and 9 p.m., $5-$7.50.

COLONIAL THEATRE

FLICKERING LIGHT FILM SERIES

227 Bridge St., Phoenixville, 610-9171228, thecolonialtheatre.com. On the Waterfront (1954, U.S., 108 min.): He coulda been a contender. He coulda been somebody. Elia Kazanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s on-thedocks masterpiece about former boxer Marlon Brando who stands up to the mob with the help of Karl Malden. Sun., March 28, 2 p.m., $4-$8.

Mount Airy Arts Garage, 542 Carpenter Lane, flickeringfilms.com. Childrenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Animation Shorts: The best of the Chicago Childrenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Film Festival. Sat., March 27, 4 p.m., free.

ATTENDANCE IS OBVIOUSLY

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INTERNATIONAL HOUSE Ibrahim Theater, 3701 Chestnut St., 215-387-5125, ihousephilly.org. The Films of Kim Longinotto: A retrospective of the landmark documentarianâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s work. Through Sat., March 27, various times, $5-$8. Veiled Voices (2009, U.S., 59 min.): Follows three female Muslim leaders. Tue., March 30, 7 p.m., $5-$8. Cronica Dâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;una Mirada: Part VI: The End of the Tunnel focuses on the final years under Francoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s regime. Wed., March 31, 7 p.m., $5-$8.

LITTLE THEATER 7141 Germantown Ave., 215-2473020, mtairyvideolibrary.com. GATE: Anastacia Wildeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s doc on the Leah Stein Dance Co.â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s 2007 performance

MASSAWYRM, AINâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; T IT COOL NEWS

[ movie shorts ]

at Eastern State Penitentiary. Thu., March 25, 7 p.m.; Sun., March 28, 3 p.m.; $25-$35 (fundraiser with food and artistsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; reception), leahsteindance. org. Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire (2009, U.S., 109 min.): An obese, illiterate teen living in â&#x20AC;&#x2122;80s Harlem and impregnated by her dad is sent to an alternative school where she learns the value of herself. Fri.-Sat., March 26-27, 8 p.m.; Sun., March 28, 7 p.m.; $6, includes popcorn.

MUGSHOTS COFFEEHOUSE AND CAFĂ&#x2030; 2100 Fairmount Ave., 267-514-7145, mugshotscoffeehouse.com. Annie (1982, U.S., 126 min.): The ginger orphan launches a million pitchy adaptations of â&#x20AC;&#x153;Tomorrow.â&#x20AC;? Fri., March 26, 7 p.m., free. Revolutionary Road (2008, U.K./U.S., 99 min.): An adaptation of Richard Yatesâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; novel. Mon., March 29, 7 p.m., free. Hook (1991, U.S., 144 min.): Peter Pan grows up. Wed., March 31, 7 p.m., free.

PHILADELPHIA CITY INSTITUTE LIBRARY 1905 Locust St., 215-685-6621. What Have I Done to Deserve This?

(1984, Spain, 101 min.): AlmodĂłvarâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s homage to Italian neo-realism stars regular player Carmen Maura as the matriarch of a dysfunctional family. Wed., March 31, 2 p.m., free.

PHILADELPHIA FILM SOCIETY

42 | P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R |

M A R C H 2 5 - A P R I L 1 , 2 0 1 0 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T

Prince Music Theater, 1412 Chestnut St., filmadelphia.org. Waking Sleeping Beauty (2009, U.S., 86 min.): Tells the story of the re-emergence of Disney as an animation powerhouse. Wed., March 31, 7:30 p.m., $6-$10.

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EFIT This annual benefit for Singing City features a wine tasting, an auction and live music. Sun, Mar. 28, 4-7pm, $35-$50, Cira Centre, 2929 Arch St., 877-255-1361.

Q MALCOLM HILL’S HILL-ARIOUS SATURDAYS This comedian

needs to move out of his grandma’s basement, so he’s doing “big things” and bringing in “big names” to make that “big money.” See what all the big fuss is about at this monthly event. Every Last Sat, 9pm-2am, $15, Club Damani, 638 N. 66th St., 215-476-1600. Q NEXT TO THE MIC with Law-

rence Killebrew, Hadiyah Robinson, Derek Gaines, Richie Redding Fri, Mar. 26, 10:45pm, $15, Laff House, 221 South St., 215-440-4242. Q STEVE BYRNE The half-Korean,

half-Irish comedian has plenty of material thanks to his mother’s insecurities when it comes to the English language, but his best bits involve his affinity for mac ’n’ cheese and Bruce Lee’s ways of loving. Wed-Thu, Mar. 31-Apr. 1, 8pm, ; Fri, Apr. 2, 10:30 & 10:32pm, ; Sat, Apr. 3, 8 & 10:30pm, $10-$30, Helium Comedy Club, 2031 Sansom St., 215-496-9001.

✚ EVENTS/ FESTIVALS Q LIGHT OF UNITY AND MAD POET’S SOCIETY PERFORMANCE SERIES See a variety of performers

✚ GALLERIES Galleries are usually open Tuesdays through Saturdays; please call the gallery for exact days and hours. Receptions are denoted by a *. Q 3RD STREET GALLERY, 58 N.

2nd St., 215-625-0993. TRASHED, Features work of Shirley Thomas who makes small sculptures from recycled materials. Runs through Mar. 28. Q CERULEAN ARTS, 1355 Ridge Ave., 267-514-8647. INTERSECTION, Features the print work of Erin Castellan, Lisa Marie Hamilton, Jill Parisi and Rita Reisser. Focuses on the intersection of prints with other forms of media, such as sculpture and installation. Runs through Mar. 27. Q FLEISHER/OLLMAN GALLERY, 1616 Walnut St., 215-545-7562. SHAKER LEGEND-TRIP : OPENING RECEPTION, Features installation pieces by Paul Swenbach. Relies on legends and superstition to create the creepy feeling of somewhere haunted. Runs through May. 1. Opening reception Thu, Apr. 1, 6-8pm * . YUN NAN=SOUTHERN CLOUDS : OPENING RECEPTION, Features ceramics by Mei Ling-Hom. The fluffy-looking pieces are inspired by clouds and their movement. Runs through May. 1. Opening reception Thu, Apr. 1, 6-8pm * . Q GALLERIES AT MOORE COLLEGE OF ART & DESIGN, 20th St. & Ben Franklin Parkway, 215-965-4027. EARTH MATTERS: THE 2010 NCECA INVITATIONAL EXHIBITION : OPENING RECEPTION, Features the ceramic work of 28 artists, working under themes such as consumerism, environmental issues, technology and agriculture. The show ranges from simple pottery to large-scale installation pieces. Runs through Apr. 11. Opening reception Thu., Apr. 1, 7-9pm *

Michaela Majoun hosts a one-hour broadcast of poetry, music and spoken word. Mon, Mar. 29, 7-8pm, FREE, Kelly Writers House, 3805 Locust Walk, 215-746-7636.

Q JAMES OLIVER GALLERY, 723 Chestnut St., 215-923-1242. ATOMOSPHERE : OPENING RECEPTION, Features ceramic works as part of the National Council on Education for the Ceramic Arts. Runs through Apr. 3. Opening reception Sat, Mar. 27, 6-9pm *.

Q PASSPORT DAY U.S.A. Con-

Q LGTRIPP GALLERY, 47-49 N.

Q LIVE AT THE WRITERS HOUSE FEATURES MIGHTY WRITERS!

fused about passports? Attend to learn everything you need to know about these government documents. Part of a nationwide outreach effort. Every Sat, 9am-2pm, FREE, Philadelphia Passport Agency, 200 Chestnut St., 877-487-2778. Q ROCK THE RIBBON This black-

tie gala benefits breast cancer patients. Featuring music by Brothers Past. Sat, Mar. 27, 5pm, $125-$135, Regal Ballroom, 5441 Oxford Ave., 215-744-4466. Q SHOW ME THE MONEY: THE ROAD MAP TO FINANCIAL AID FOR COLLEGE Learn how to

2nd St., 215-923-3110. PREMIERE : OPENING RECEPTION, Features 14 local artists focusing on abstract art that takes on each artist’s unique voice. Runs through Apr. 24. Opening reception Sat, Mar. 27, 3-6pm *. Q NEXUS/FOUNDATION, 1400 N.

American St., 215-684-1946. SECOND OPENING, Features invited artists who play with the realms of traditional and contemporary printmaking. Runs through Apr. 2. Second opening Fri, Mar. 26, 6pm. ROOTED WITHIN-BOOK BOMBS ISSUE #1, Features the release of a new zine which focuses on the beauty of walking around the city. Runs through Mar. 26. Q SCHMIDT-DEAN GALLERY,

1710 Sansom St., 215-569-9433. MASTER PRINTS : OPENING

³ FABRIC HORSE MOVES Carrie Collins, owner and designer of bicycle-centric accessories line Fabric Horse, will move her retail and production space out of NoLibs’ Piazza at Schmidts at the end of the month. The move, executed just as the retail climate warms with the weather, was not her idea. “I signed a license agreement [with property developers Tower Investments] for two years,” says Collins. “By the terms of the licensing agreement, either party could cancel it at any time with 30 days’ notice. They said they had found an upscale boutique willing to pay three times my current rent.” Tower Investments — who did not return requests for comment — is exercising its right to relocate Fabric Horse to a retail space on the outside of the Piazza facing Germantown Avenue. “My rent would remain the same,” says Collins, “but the space they want to relocate me to is half the size [600 square feet vs. 300].” Collins, who constructs her utility belts, spats and backpacks with one employee in the store, is opting instead to move in with her former employer R.E.Load (310 N. 11th St.), who handmake bicycle messenger bags. Customers may ring the outside bell to be buzzed up into the second floor of the R.E.Load/Fabric Horse showroom, or make an appointment if they wish. “When the Piazza opened, Tower dropped the rents really low to bring in artists and small businesses,” says Collins. “They wanted to create young energy. A year goes by, and they’re shopping for somebody who can bring in more money. They are looking for different kinds of businesses.” (felicia.dambrosio@citypaper.net) Have an upcoming shopping event? Give it here. E-mail listings@citypaper.net.

RECEPTION, Features prints by seasoned artists. Range in style, from minimalist, ink drawn prints and beyond. Runs through Apr. 24. Opening reception Sat, Mar. 27, 5:30-8:30pm * . RANDY BOLTON: NEW PRINTS : OPENING RECEPTION, Features bold-colored prints with humorous and topical tones. Runs through Apr. 24. Opening reception Sat, Mar. 27, 5:30-8:30pm * . WORK ON PAPER : OPENING RECEPTION, Features paintings by Dean Dass. Dreamy colors are a focal point. Runs through Apr. 24. Opening reception Sat, Mar. 27, 5:30-8:30pm * Q THE UNIVERSITY OF THE ARTS, 320 S. Broad St., . GRAY WHALES PHILADELPHIA : PUBLIC CLAY MOVING, Features an interactive, large-scale installation piece by Shay Church. The public is invited to help Church move clay to a performance space on Broad Street where he will construct a giant gray whale from clay and sand and allow it to air-dry. Runs through Apr. 3. Public clay moving Sun, Mar. 28.

✚ LGBTQ Q DANSE 4 THE CURE Dance troop Danse4Nia Repertory Ensemble hosts this HIV/AIDS benefit that features performances by Nia-Next,

Smoke, Lilies & Jade Arts and Dance Alloy. Sun, Mar. 28, 5-9pm, $25, Painted Bride Art Center, 230 Vine St., 215-925-9914. Q GAY COMMUNITY NIGHT AT PHILADELPHIA FLYERS The first ever gay night at a Philadelphia Flyers game. Order tickets with the code 704GCN to sit with the “family.” Thu, Mar. 25, 7-10pm, $30, Wachovia Center, 3601 S. Broad St., 215-336-3600.

Q GET ORGANIZED! Profes-

sional organizer Bob Skiba teaches individuals how to clean up the junk that clutters their life. Thu, Apr. 1, 7-8:30pm, $40-$75, William Way Community Center, 1315 Spruce St., 215-732-2220. Q LGBT HEALTH TOWN HALL MEETING The U.S. Census sponsors

this LGBTQ health-related lecture event. Wed, Mar. 31, 5-6pm, Drexel University, Geary Auditorium, 15th & Vine sts., 215-895-2000. Q PHILADVENTURES: WET YOUR APPETITE FOR SPRING This

guided tour of the Gayborhood points out the hottest BYOBs, bars and boutiques any card-toting queer would love. Thu, Mar. 25, 6-7:30pm, FREE, William Way Community Center, 1315 Spruce St., 215-732-2220. Q PHILADELPHIA LIBERTY DANCE CHALLENGE Tone up that

get money for college, to fill out financial aid forms, write essays and more. Sat, Mar. 27, 10am-2pm, FREE, High School of the Future, 4021 Parkside Avenue, 215-8235500.

By Felicia D’Ambrosio

P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R | M A R C H 2 5 - A P R I L 1 , 2 0 1 0 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T |

and speakers. Proceeds benefit Opportunities Industrialization Centers International. Every First Thu, 6-8pm, $7, University of Pennsylvania Bookstore, 3601 Walnut St., 215-898-7595.

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Q SINGING CITY ANNUAL BEN-

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IF YOU WANT TO BE LISTED:

Submit information by mail (City Paper Listings, 123 Chestnut St., Third Floor, Philadelphia, PA 19106), e-mail (listings@citypaper. net) or fax (215-599-0634) to Molly Eichel. Include details of the event, dates, times, address of venue, telephone number and admission price, if any. Listings must be received at least 10 days in advance of publication. Incomplete submissions will not be considered, and listings information will not be accepted over the phone.

❝

Best

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cheesesteak? • Best shop for local produce? • favorite place to get a cheesesteak? • Best BYoB restaurant in the citY?

Your Questions. Y o u r A n s w e r s . Y o u r C i t Y.

askadelphia. askadelphia.com

Q QUEER WRITER’S COLLECTIVE This workshop and discussion

Q SCENE PARTY DJs Carl Mi-

Q TALK WITH THE REV. CAMERON PARTRIDGE Transgendered

Episcopal priest Cameron Partridge discusses his colorful past. Thu, Mar. 25, 8-10pm, FREE, Bryn Mawr College, 101 N. Merion Ave., Bryn Mawr, 610-526-5000.

✚ MUSIC ³ rock/pop THURSDAY 3/25 Q BILLY WALLACE AND THE VIRGINIA BLUES with Dan Collins

& Johnny Miles, 9pm, $7, Fire, 412 W. Girard Ave., 267-671-9298. Q DAVID FORD, 8pm, $15-$18, World Café Live, 3025 Walnut St., 215-222-1400. Q DRAKE BAND, 9:30pm, $5-$8,

Tritone, 1508 South St., 215-5450475. Q FOOLS AND HORSES with Jus-

tin Trawick, 8:30pm, $10, Tin Angel, 20 S. 2nd St., 215-928-0770. Q GRANT HART with Taggart & Two

Handed Engine, 9pm, $10, M Room, 15 W. Girard Ave., 215-739-5577. Q HANGMAN’S CRY with Kennedy

Q LYRICALLY FIT SERIES with

Q HIM, 7:30pm, $28, Electric Fac-

Godhead The General / Spoken Wordz / Mordecai / Unique / Ant Nyce & Cheezy / Beast / Made Men, J.re, Adam, Mangum, Classic, Frank Eyez and Hectic, Craze & A56, 9:30pm, $10, Trocadero, 1003 Arch St., 215-922-5483.

tory, 7th & Willow sts., 215-3362000.

Q MIIKE SNOW with Delorean,

Triumph Brewing Co., 400 Union Square, New Hope, 215-862-8300.

9pm, $18, TLA, 334 South St., 215922-1011. Q MILES KUROSKY, 9pm, $10,

Johnny Brenda’s, 1201 N. Frankford Ave., 215-739-9684. Q STAND with Keystoned & Cris

Valkyria, 8pm, $8, North Star Bar, 2639 Poplar St., 215-684-0808. Q THE RUBY SUNS with Toro Y

Moi & Power Animal, 8pm, $10, Kung Fu Necktie, 1250 N. Front St., 215-291-4919. Q WISHBONE ASH, 8pm, $29.50-

$40, Sellersville Theater 1894, 24 W. Temple Ave., Sellersville, 215257-5808. Q WIZ KHALIFA with Yelawolf, 8pm,

$15, The Note, 142 E. Market St., West Chester, 800-594-8499.

Q HIP HOP SHOWCASE Presented

by Vision and Mic Q. 9pm, $10, Khyber, 56 S. 2nd St., 215-238-5888. Q INVINCIBLE GODS, 10pm, $5,

Q JELLO BIAFRA AND THE GUANTANAMO SCHOOL OF MEDICINE with Witch Hunt, Com-

mon Enemy & Mirrors and Wires, 7:30pm, $14, Trocadero, 1003 Arch St., 215-922-5483. Q MINT CONDITION with Ledisi,

8pm, $44, Keswick Theatre, 291 N. Keswick Ave., Glenside, 215-5727650. Q NEBULA with Quest For Fire &

Gondola, 9:25pm, $10-$12, Johnny Brenda’s, 1201 N. Frankford Ave., 215-739-9684. Q PANIC YEARS with The Robes &

Q JUDGEMENT DAY with Arlo and

the Otter & Chasing Arethusa, 9pm, $5-$10, Danger Danger Gallery, 5013 Baltimore Ave., myspace. com/dangerdangergallery. Q JUKEBOX THE GHOST with

Tally Hall & Sky Box, 9pm, $10, Johnny Brenda’s, 1201 N. Frankford Ave., 215-739-9684. Q MANTIS MUSIC SHOWCASE

with Vegas-n-Space, Leashed Children, Ashes To Memories, Another Vendetta & Post A.M. 1pm, $12, Trocadero, 1003 Arch St., 215922-5483. Q MISSION HILL, 10pm, $5,

Triumph Brewing Co., 400 Union Square, New Hope, 215-862-8300. Q NO CODE A Pearl Jam tribute

Q SCHOOL OF ROCK ALL STARS

Q REESA AND THE ROOTERS

Q 2U A U2 tribute band. with

Q STATIC OF THE GODS with The

LINE with Gasoline Heart & Knife

World Café Live, 3025 Walnut St., 215-222-1400.

band with a Tool tribute band. with Schism, 9pm, $10, Khyber, 56 S. 2nd St., 215-238-5888.

BEST SONG CONTEST, 9pm, $10, TLA, 334 South St., 215-922-1011.

Q ADAM AND DAVE’S BLOOD-

Q JOHNNY A., 7:30pm, $27-$40,

Overlook, 9pm, $5, North Star Bar, 2639 Poplar St., 215-684-0808.

FRIDAY 3/26 Atomic Square, 9pm, $10-$12, The Note, 142 E. Market St., West Chester, 800-594-8499.

[ the agenda ]

National Rifle, 9pm, $7, Fire, 412 W. Girard Ave., 267-671-9298.

SATURDAY 3/27 Q CARLON, 11pm, $5, World Café

Show, 9pm, $8, M Room, 15 W. Girard Ave., 215-739-5577.

Live, 3025 Walnut St., 215-2221400.

Q BIG CUZ with Tony Two-Step,

Q CARMEN COSTA with Opening

with David Smith Four, Celtic Cowboys, Ben Wah Torpedos, Pleasure Dotz & So Sydney, 7pm, $11, World Café Live, 3025 Walnut St., 215222-1400. Q SUGAR TOWN with Gemini Wolf,

Lillie Ruth Bussey & Attia Taylor, 9pm, $5-$8, Tritone, 1508 South St., 215-545-0475. Q THE 74’S with Your Bright Ideas,

Day, Jaded Son & Grandy, 9pm, $8, North Star Bar, 2639 Poplar St., 215-684-0808.

Bullets & Belvedere, 58 Fury, Broad St. Blues & Joe Jordan’s Experiment, 7pm, $15, Trocadero, 1003 Arch St., 215-922-5483.

Roth Band & Josiah Wise, 9pm, $8, Millcreek Tavern, 4200 Chester Ave., 215-222-9194.

Q EMILY OSMENT, 6pm, $20-$60,

Q THE DONNAS, 9pm, $16-$18,

Q HALO OF SNAKES with The

Randy Seidman, 11:30pm, $25, TLA, 334 South St., 215-922-1011.

6pm, $7, Fire, 412 W. Girard Ave., 267-671-9298. Q GHOST HOUSE with The Ben

Thinking Machines, Distress Sig-

TLA, 334 South St., 215-922-1011. Q INFECTED MUSHROOM with

food | classifieds

chaels and Lil Sis join forces for this party that also features hoopster Jennifer Alvarez. Sat, Mar. 27, 9pm-3am, $5, Voyeur Club, 1221 St. James St., 215-735-5772.

nals, Hey Angel & Toxic Life, 9pm, $5-$10, Tritone, 1508 South St., 215-545-0475.

the agenda

group is designed to help aspiring writers express issues specific to the LGBTQ community. Every Last Sat, 4-6pm, FREE, William Way Community Center, 1315 Spruce St., 215-732-2220.

Red, Something Around the Eyes & Last Day to Live, 9pm, $8, Khyber, 56 S. 2nd St., 215-238-5888.

the naked city | feature | a&e

fox trot. This same sex ballroom challenge is a preliminary competition to the Gay Games in Cologne, Germany. Sat, Mar. 27, 5pm, Pennsylvania Convention Center, 1101 Arch St., 215-418-4700.

The Note, 142 E. Market St., West Chester, 800-594-8499. Q THE MORNING OF with Sparks

The Rescue & Ian Walsh, 6pm, $12,

P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R | M A R C H 2 5 - A P R I L 1 , 2 0 1 0 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T |

a&e | feature | the naked city the agenda classifieds | food

[ the agenda ]

✚ AGENDA PICKS [ your-asia ]

³ HOME: FAR AND NEAR The Asian Arts Initiative was created nearly 17 years ago for events just like this one. Home: Far and Near brings together Asian performance artists for a three-day fest of solo shows, then throws them in a melting pot to come up with a new collaborative piece. Each night is themed: The first is Dynamic Dance and Theater, followed by poetry and comedy with Superstars of Spoken Word and, finally, History in the Making — a performance by artists who have worked with AAI in the past. But that ain’t all: The next week, the artists must piece together a whole new work, which they’ll première April 3. “It’s an Asian-American performance, but it’s also an artist exchange,” explains Leeroy Kang, development and operations assistant. She confesses that she doesn’t know what the performers will cook up for the last installment. “No one really knows yet,” she says, “not even the artists.” Thu.-Sun., March 25-27, and Sat., April 3, 7:30 p.m., $10-$40, Asian Arts Initiative, 1219 Vine St., 215-557-0455, asianartsinitiative.org. —Julia West [ choose your own adventure ]

48 | P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R |

M A R C H 2 5 - A P R I L 1 , 2 0 1 0 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T

³ SES VOYAGES SAUVAGES

Barbary, 951 Frankford Ave., 215423-8342. Q THIRD EYE BLIND with Alpha

Rev, 7pm, $25, Crocodile Rock Café, 520 W. Hamilton St., Allentown, 610-434-4600. Q TIESTO, 10pm, $50, Borgata

Casino, 1 Borgata Way, Atlantic City, NJ, 866-692-6742. Q URBAN GIANTS with McRad,

Firm Taqtics, Turning Violet Violet & Like Bells, 8pm, $7, Fire, 412 W. Girard Ave., 267-671-9298. Q XANDE CRUZ, 10:30pm, $10, Tin

Angel, 20 S. 2nd St., 215-928-0770.

SUNDAY 3/28 Q ALICE SMITH, 7:30pm, $25, Tin

Angel, 20 S. 2nd St., 215-928-0770. Q BADFINGER with Smash Palace,

7:30pm, $29.50-$40, Sellersville Theater 1894, 24 W. Temple Ave., Sellersville, 215-257-5808. Q BEACHES with Party Photogra-

phers, Love of Diagrams & Mothers Day, 8pm, $5, Kung Fu Necktie, 1250 N. Front St., 215-291-4919.

After taking over a bar in their Philly Fringe production, It’s Hard Times at the Camera Blanca,Applied Mechanics theater company will now conquer an entire West Philly apartment. Taking a cue from classic quest tales, Ses Voyages Sauvages follows intrepid heroine Mary as she leaves her home on the range to search for fulfillment. Audience members choose their own experience, following Mary or another of the five characters through a living room converted into papier-mâché mountain ranges or a wetland kitchen. “You have to make decisions about how you watch it, which makes for an honest theater experience,” says director Rebecca Wright. Each performance loops through the set of stories twice, allowing the audience to eavesdrop on several storylines and embark on new quests. Thu., March 25, 8 p.m.; Mon., March 29, 6 p.m.; Sat., April 3, 10 p.m.; $10, for more info e-mail appliedmechanicstheatre@gmail.com, appliedmechanics.blogspot.com. —Emily Currier

Q DILLINGER ESCAPE PLAN with

[ dance party usa ]

Q OUTERNATIONAL with The

³ ABSURD COMMENTARIES: A PARTIFORMANCE Looking for a reason to bust out last year’s Halloween costume and get all cultured at the same time? Absurd Commentaries combines party and performance into one night of interactive dance in which four local artists perform original dances focusing on absurdity. Alie Vidich, a member of Movement Brigade, aims to express the concept surfacing in the every day. “My piece deals with a store clerk who dreams about merchandise coming to life around her,” says Vidich. The dancers also interact with the audience and encourage them to create their own original art through dance and music. And dress to the nines: Costumes are required for discounted admission; those who break this rule will miss out on a vital aspect of the “partiformance” experience. So get out that glitter and feathers, kids. “Everyone will be performing,” said Vidich. “Wearing a costume makes it more fun and helps transmit energy to one another.” Fri.-Sat., March 26-27, 8 p.m., $10-$15, Arts Parlor, 1170 S. Broad St., 215-670-9901. —Mandy Bee [ pick it up ]

Darkest Hour, IWrestledABearOnce & Animals As Leaders, 7pm, $15, First Unitarian Church, 2125 Chestnut St., 215-563-3980. Q FLAW with Fall Back Plan,

Stranger Inside, Jimmie’s Chicken Shack, My Hey Guy, jonne Blue & As It Subsides, 6pm, $12, Khyber, 56 S. 2nd St., 215-238-5888. Q FRANCIS DUNNERY AND THE NEW PROGRESSIVES, 8pm, $23,

World Café Live, 3025 Walnut St., 215-222-1400. Q JACK INGRAM with Danielle

Darrow, 7:30pm, $25-$38, World Café Live, 3025 Walnut St., 215222-1400. Q KILLOLA with Sick of Sarah,

Ganto Barn & Mother Fletcher, 8pm, $8, M Room, 15 W. Girard Ave., 215-739-5577. Underclassed, Uzuhi & Yula, 7pm, $10, North Star Bar, 2639 Poplar St., 215-684-0808. Q SET IN COLOR with Here’s To

You & Redeveloper, 8pm, $8, Fire, 412 W. Girard Ave., 267-671-9298. Q SHEARWATER with Wye Oak &

Hospital Ships, 9pm, $10, Johnny Brenda’s, 1201 N. Frankford Ave., 215-739-9684. Q THE WALLACE BROTHERS BAND, 9pm, $5, Tritone, 1508 South

St., 215-545-0475.

MONDAY 3/29 Q GAROTAS SUECAS with

Copacabana Club, 7:30pm, $10, Kung Fu Necktie, 1250 N. Front St., 215-291-4919. Q MR. GNOME with Pepi Ginsburg,

Tristen & Charles Latham, 7pm, $8, North Star Bar, 2639 Poplar St., 215-684-0808. Q THE HAYMAKERS, 9:30pm,

³ TONY ON THIRD’S TRASH & TREASURES With merchandise at the recession-friendly pricing of 25 cents to 25 bucks, prepare for a boutique battle at Tony on Third’s second annual Indoor Yard >>> continued on adjacent page

$5-$8, Tritone, 1508 South St., 215545-0475.

TUESDAY 3/30 Q BLUES RIOT with Loki, 8pm, $5,

<<< continued from previous page

³ dance

[ computer club ]

Q FACTORY Through dance and

Linux: The great frontier of operating systems that Macintosh doesn’t even have an official snarky campaign against. Hive 76 offers this women- and trans-friendly but open-to-all primer on the OS that will make you the Fonz of the Internet café. “Most of the time it goes off without a hitch, but occasionally it can go very, very wrong, so try it out on a computer you don’t depend on for work,” suggests instructor Stephanie Alarcon. That’s some serious tech-allure, but if HAL 9000 had been running Linux, maybe it wouldn’t have been so pissy. Sun., March 28, 10 a.m.-3 p.m., $30 (or pay what you can), Hive 76, 915 Spring Garden St., Suite 519, 215-765-1463, hive76.org. —Tom Tiballi [ funnybone workout ]

Take a break from the schadenfreude this April 1 and laugh at those who are literally asking for it. Improv group Rare Bird Show brings together a comedy bonanza for April Fools’ Fest: Check out RBS’ on-the-spot creation of sketches from audience suggestions; sketch comedy from Aaron Hertzog and the Action Section; and snarky standup by Dava Krause, who waxes comedic on Internet dating, man-bashing and medical marijuana. Thu., April 1, 9:30 p.m., $5, Khyber, 56 S. Second St., rarebirdshow.com. —Mandy Bee

tions & Controlled Storms, 8pm, $5-$10, Danger Danger Gallery, 5013 Baltimore Ave., myspace. com/dangerdangergallery.

Q FLOATING ACTION with Middle

Distance Runner & Hair Rocket, 8pm, $8, M Room, 15 W. Girard Ave., 215-739-5577. Q GRINGO STAR with Love City,

The Bombettes & Invisible Friends, 9pm, $8, Johnny Brenda’s, 1201 N. Frankford Ave., 215-739-9684.

House, The Warhawks & Blood Diner II, 7pm, $7, North Star Bar, 2639 Poplar St., 215-684-0808.

Q JAGUAR LOVE, 8pm, $12-$14,

Q DICK ARMY with Clam Fight,

Q LYRICALLY FIT SERIES, 9:30pm,

8pm, $8, M Room, 15 W. Girard Ave., 215-739-5577. Q IVAN NEVILLE’S DUMPSTAPHUNK with Rebirth Brass Band,

8pm, $20-$32, World Café Live, 3025 Walnut St., 215-222-1400. Q NOW SOON NOWHERE with

Ideamen & Circle the City, 8pm, $5-$10, Khyber, 56 S. 2nd St., 215238-5888. Q THE SOFT PACK with Nodzzz &

Beaters, 9pm, $10, Johnny Brenda’s, 1201 N. Frankford Ave., 215-739-9684.

WEDNESDAY 3/31

The Note, 142 E. Market St., West Chester, 800-594-8499. $10, The Balcony (above Trocadero), 1003 Arch St., . Q MATTHEW GOOD with Auto-

matic Loveletter, 7:30pm, $25-$38, World Café Live, 3025 Walnut St., 215-222-1400. Q MY MILKY WAY ARMS with Jet

Set Sail, Dangerous Ponies & Saudi Arabia, 8pm, $5-$10, Danger Danger Gallery, 5013 Baltimore Ave., myspace.com/dangerdangergallery. Q THE BIG PINK with A Place To

Bury Strangers, 8pm, $10.50-$14, TLA, 334 South St., 215-922-1011.

Q DISCO MACHINE GUN with

Villians Like You & Time Ghost, 8pm, $8, Khyber, 56 S. 2nd St., 215238-5888. Q EARLY APE with Post Post, 7pm,

✚ PERFORMING ARTS Please call the phone number listed with the venue for specific dates, times and ticket information.

$8, North Star Bar, 2639 Poplar St., 215-684-0808.

³ cabaret

Q ELLIPSIS, 9:30pm, $5-$8, Tritone,

Q THE EXPERIMENT PART II:

Q NY DANCE EXCHANGE CEC

and Theresa Shockley bring New York dancers and choreographers to Philly. The performance features Cori Olinghouse, Mana Kawamura and local Myra Bazell. Sat, Mar. 27, 8-9pm, $10-$12, Community Education Center, 3500 Lancaster Ave., 215-387-1911. Q ON YOUR TOES The 1936

Rodgers and Hart musical follows composer Junior Dolan who gets involved with gangsters to move up from vaudeville to the Russian Ballet. Runs through Mar. 27, $5-$20, Merriam Theater, 250 S. Broad St., 215-732-5446. Q WAHEED WORKS Tommie

Waheed Evans of Waheed Works.. A Dance Project brings together a group of powerful male dancers. “11:11.. Stained, Sun, Mar. 28, 7-9pm, $25, Performance Garage, 1515 Brandywine St., 215-569-4060.

³ opera Q BRAVA PHILADELPHIA! In a

celebration for its 75th Anniversary, the Academy of Vocal Arts host a night of opera singers, including AVA alumni and members of the Metropolitan Opera. Wed, Mar. 31, 7:30pm, $47-$52, Kimmel Center, 300 S. Broad St., 215-893-1999.

THE GLOVE In Part II of “The

Q A LAND OF SOUR MILK AND HONEY: THE (ARAB-) AMERICAN DREAM TODAY As part of the

Symposium Series for “Language Rooms,” John Timpane of the Philadelphia Inquirer will moderate a discussion on the state of ArabAmericans in our current political climate. Panelists include Mustapha Tilli and Toufic El Rassi. Sun, Mar. 28, 4:30pm, $10, Wilma Theater,

1508 South St., 215-545-0475.

Koresh Dance Company bring its high energy to “Theatre of Public Secrets.” Artistic Director Ronen Koresh will participate in a discussion following the performance. Sat, Mar. 27, 8pm, $15-$32, Rose Lehrman Arts Center, One HACC Drive, Harrisburg, 717-231-7673.

³ theater

Q CITAY, 8pm, $10, Kung Fu Neck-

tie, 1250 N. Front St., 215-291-4919.

Beyond your typical dance experience, Headlong Dance Theater combines pop culture, formalism and slapstick for innovative performances. Runs through Mar. 27, $5-$15, Roschel Performing Arts Center, Franklin & Marshall College, 628 College Ave, Lancaster, 717-358-4858.

P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R | M A R C H 2 5 - A P R I L 1 , 2 0 1 0 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T |

Q COUNTER RIOT with Rogue

Q HEADLONG DANCE THEATER

Q KORESH DANCE COMPANY

³ APRIL FOOLS’ FEST

Q CITY CENTER with Clean Equa-

popular ’60s music, Rev 9 Dance & Performance will examine Andy Warhol’s cultural contributions. Pop art and the “Factory” come to life in new way. Runs through Mar. 27, $15, Stahr Performing Arts Center, 438 N Queen St, Lancaster, 717-396-7764.

food | classifieds

³ LINUX INSTALL CLASS

The Note, 142 E. Market St., West Chester, 800-594-8499.

Experiment,” Cabaret Red Light greets the future with electronic music and crazy dancing controlled by a mystical glove. Thu, Mar. 25, 8pm, $15, L’Etage, 624 S. 6th St., 215-592-0656.

the agenda

Sale. At last year’s two-day sale, people waited around for the store to open to nab one-of-a-kind vintage shoes, clothing and designer finds from the likes of Christian Dior and Rebecca Taylor. Owner Pamela Dollak adds, “In true yard sale style, there will also be junk.” Sat., March 27, 10 a.m.-6 p.m.; Sun., March 28, 11 a.m.-5 p.m.; free (purchases are cash only), Tony on Third, 47 N. Third St., 215-592-8669, tonyonthird.com. —Emily Currier

the naked city | feature | a&e

[ the agenda ]

✚ Agenda Picks

clog the

www.citypaper.net/clog

ROOSEVELTS & Room VII

Open everyday 5p-2a Kitchen Open All Night Happy Hour Everyday 5p-7p

THURSDAY

Wired 96.5 on the Main Floor House Music on The Roof Thursday Birthday - bottle of champagne and cake on the house!

FRIDAY

Hip Hop on the Main Floor House Music on The Roof

SATURDAY

House Music on the Main Floor Hip Hop on The Roof

SUNDAY

House Music on the Main Floor Q102 on The Roof

MONDAY

Latin Night/Free Lessons On the Main Floor Mixed Music on The Roof

TUESDAY

Hip Hop on the Main Floor w/Strength Dance Competition/ Pole Dancing Oldies Music on The Roof

WEDNESDAY

Continuation of Center City Sips 5p-7p Hip Hop on the Roof & Main Floor 116 S.18 th Street 215-568-1020 www.vangoloungeandskybar.com

SILKCITYPHILLY.COM 5TH & SPRING GARDEN

THURSDAY 3/25

MO $$ NO PROBLEMS DJ SAMMY SLICE DJ COOL HAND LUKE HOST TU PHACE FRIDAY 3/26

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Friday, March 26 John Train 6pm New Pony 10pm Saturday, March 27 Traditional Irish Music Session 4pm Dan Collins and Friends 10pm Wednesday, March 31 Open Mic Sandwich: The Best Established and Up-and-Coming Comedians in Philadelphia Sign Up 8pm Show 8:30pm Monday Nights Best Open Mic in Town 9:30pm Tuesdays & Thursdays Quizzo: Pub Quiz 9:30pm

No Cover Downstairs! FREE, 21+ www.Fergies.com

www.myspace.com/fergies booking@fergies.com

1214 Sansom St. 215-928-8118

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MONDAY 3/29

BACK 2 BASICS PRESENTS:

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DJs PHSH & RON CLARK

TUESDAY 3/30

THE LAST EMPEROR SADAT X PACK FM SUBSTANTIAL DJs JAYSKI & TACTICS WEDNESDAY 3/31

DJ FAT RAT ROCKABILLY/BLUES

djnights get a life

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A New Monthly House Party Focusing On New Artists In And Around Philadelphia

SWEET TALK

MatPat, Gentle Giant, Diamond Girl W/ Ed Blammo. No Cover

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MICHAEL MADONNA PRINCE DJ Deejay. $8

=K^_\NKc ! JHN RDN PLUS ANOTHER AWESOME DJ Are Starting A New Party Look For Details

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Kevin C and Eddie Austin Dollar Drinks Till 11

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THURSDAY 9PM

Kennedy Red, Something Around the Eyes Last Day to Live FRIDAY 9PM

VISION AND MIC Q PRESENT A HIP HOP SHOWCASE SATURDAY 9PM

NO CODE-A TRIBUTE TO PEARL JAM Schism â&#x20AC;&#x201C; A Tribute to Tool SUNDAY 6PM

FLAW

Fall Back Plan, Stranger Inside Jimmieâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Chicken Shack, My Hey Guy Jonne Blue, As It Subsides

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NOW SOON NOWHERE Ideamen. Circle The City

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the agenda | a&e | feature | the naked city food classifieds M A R C H 2 5 - A P R I L 1 , 2 0 1 0 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T

54 | P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R |

f&d

foodanddrink

portioncontrol By Drew Lazor

THAI FIGHTER THAI SINGHA HOUSE TO GO | 106 S. 20th St., 215-

568-2390. Mon.-Fri., 11 a.m.-9:30 p.m.; Sat., 4-9:30 p.m.; closed Sun. Appetizers, $3.50-$5.95; noodle and rice dishes, $6.95-$9.95; chef’s specials, $9.95$13.95; steam-table lunch special (available Mon.-Fri., 11 a.m.-3 p.m.), $6. Delivery available 4-9:15 p.m.

³ AFTER CARRYING THE curry torch for close to 20 years near 40th and Chestnut,Thai Singha House opened its second location, a teeny takeout near Rittenhouse, last spring. Though this spot, roughly the size of a high-school locker, offers made-toorder dishes, they’re not what cause gaggles of lunch-hour wanderers to queue up on 20th, their backs to Village Whiskey. The grab-and-go mobs assemble thanks to Singha House’s steam-table special, offered weekdays from 11 to 3: They serve up a rotating selection of pre-prepared dishes for $6 each, tax included. Helluva deal. But can you really get tasty Thai for less paper than a pack of cigs? Certainly. On my first visit, I made out like a famished bandit who’d stuck up a Bangkok street cook, dragging out four to-go containers (actually enough to feed more than four people) and a couple of drinks for less than $30. My favorite from this haul was the chicken curry, with a creamy, roundly spicy red curry paste/coconut milk base bathing moist chunks of breast meat, crunchy bamboo shoots, frizzled leaves of Thai basil and slivers of red pepper. A vegetarian dish of crispy tofu sliced into cute polyhedral cubes and a various-veg mélange (carrots, zucchini, cauliflower, snow peas, baby corn, mushrooms) was a light choice, considering many of these eats are packed up on fluffy white rice. The shrimp pad Thai, with peanuts, bean sprouts and well-done bits of egg, was too sugary for my taste, lacking that buzzy fish-sauce flavor that, for me, makes or breaks the most popular Southeast Asian noodle dish in America. Basil chicken, done up with stir-fried sweet basil, peppers and onions, finely diced garlic and a chili sauce drizzle thick enough to stud each piece of meat, was big on flavor, though some of the spice was hogged by that rice underbed (chalk it up to travel time). While a second drop-in resulted in one sodiumladen disappointment — a Chinese broccoli/calamari stir-fry — I landed yet another $6 winner: a kickin’ chili shrimp, whose mound of surgically julienned bamboo shoots and bell peppers provided a refreshing crunch to a handful of tender tail-on crustaceans. Wash it down with a can of Foco brand Thai tea — the stuff’s packed with enough sugar to power a riding mower — and you’ll be happy you waited in line. (drew.lazor@citypaper.net)

UP IN THEIR GRILL: Slow-cooked, grillmarked octopus over watercress is one of many strong, homey Latin dishes at Edgar and Kim Alvarez’s Avenida. NEAL SANTOS

[ review ]

HOUSE RULES Avenida serves home-style cooking you can’t get at home. By Trey Popp AVENIDA | 7402 Germantown Ave., 267-385-6857, avenidarestaurant.

com. Tue.-Thu., 5-9:30 p.m.; Fri.-Sat., 5-10 p.m.; Sun., 5-9 p.m.; closed Mon. Soups and salads, $6-$9; appetizers, $6-$10; entrées, $14-$19; desserts, $4-$6.

ven if the chefs weren’t married with children, or the bar had more than three wooden stools, or the dining room’s stone hearth weren’t half-blackened with soot, Avenida would still feel as much like somebody’s home as a restaurant. The woman who greets you at the threshold is the same one who’ll make your dessert. The young man with an order pad acts less like a More on: waiter than a live-in apprentice, the kind whose fealty has earned him the right to poke fun at paymaster and patron alike. The atmosphere is casual one moment, irreverent the next and genuine all the way through. You get the feeling that if someone sat down to dinner with a dog at his feet, chef-owners Edgar and Kim Alvarez would be less likely to deliver a lecture than a ham bone. Between them, the Alvarezes have cooked from one end of Philly’s food spectrum to the other — whether you define that in terms of cuisine or culinary ambition. Striped Bass and Susanna Foo show up on their collective résumé, as does the Black Sheep Pub and Dock Street Brewing Company. For Avenida they

citypaper.net

wanted to go back to Edgar’s Guatemalan roots, recreating the plain-spoken fare that was the caloric and spiritual ballast of his childhood. Mt. Airy’s old Cresheim Cottage Café gave them the ideal place. They painted the walls the color of tangerine peels and egg yolks, scattered souvenir-market bric-a-brac about the first floor, and let the 18th-century stone dwelling do the rest. The place feels like a home because that’s what it was built to be. And its new tenants have made it their own, right down to a kitschy set of whittled wooden figurines that look like mariachi buskers on their way to a yuletide manger display. (You may never have bought questionable craft art on a holiday trip, but I’ll bet your mother has.) So your server may toss a snarky shrug toward the little trumpet player. Or maybe he’ll limit himself MORE FOOD AND to a frank verdict on whether there’s any DRINK COVERAGE reason a non-vegetarian should try the AT C I T Y P A P E R . N E T / lard-less tamale. (“Pff. And miss the short M E A LT I C K E T. ribs? No way.”) The whole hype-less production may lull you into low expectations for the meal. After all, how good can home-style Latin food be if Jose Garces has been rocking your palate with intricate small-plate creations for the last couple years? The answer is very good. Avenida is about affordable meals served on Ikea plates, not lamb lollipops in shot glasses, but the Alvarezes do it with uncommon focus and finesse. Don’t skimp on appetizers. Slow-cooked octopus arms blistered with tequila poke through a cooling bed of watercress. Chorizo, poblano rajas and >>> continued on adjacent page

gracetavern.com

2301 FAIRMOUNT AVE

PHILADELPHIA

215.978.4545

LONDONGRILL.COM

[ food & drink ]

â&#x153;&#x161; WHATâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S COOKING

classifieds

Âł Nimble-fingered shell poppers can show off their stuff during Oyster Houseâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s first-ever shucking contest. Professional and amateur competitors will face off for a chance to win $200 cash or a $100 gift certificate to the restaurant, respectively. Hungry onlookers will earn the true prize, though, as the final products will be passed through the crowd after each matchup. A firkin of Dock Streetâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s West of Center Pale Ale will also be poured on a pay-as-you-go basis. Oyster House, 1516 Sansom St., 215-567-7683, oysterhousephilly.com.

March 27, 2 p.m., $5

Italian Deli

food

Oyster Shucking Contest at Oyster House Sat.,

Let the feeding frenzy begin.

Gaetanoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s

the naked city | feature | a&e | the agenda

[ the week in eats ]

2 6 7 â&#x20AC;˘ 761 â&#x20AC;˘ 9372

# = XN = > = / - 9 < 8 / < 8. - 2 < 3 = > + 3 8 = >

Food news, recipes, menu exclusives

citypaper.net/ mealticket

Celiac Awareness Dinner at SautĂŠ Sun., March 28,

Passover Dinners at Zahav Mon.-Tue., March 29-April 6, 5-10 p.m., $42 Âł Chef Michael Solomonov will celebrate

Passover this week with traditional Jewish dishes, along with a few of his own interpretations. Check out the roasted matzoh balls with black garlic broth, leek fritters with charoset and coffee-braised brisket. For dessert, buttery matzoh brei with red wine-spiced ice cream. Zahav, 237 St. James Place, 215-625-8800, zahavrestaurant.com. Seder Dinner at Supper Mon.-Tue., March 29-30, 5 p.m., $50 Âł Supper chef/owner Mitch Prensky plans on putting out a multi-course Passover menu with a family-friendly vibe. The card includes old favorites like chicken matzoh ball soup and crisp potato latkes, plus a roasted 40-clove garlic chicken and beef brisket prepared using Prenskyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s motherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s recipe. Your meal includes dishes for the table, hors dâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;oeuvres, and three courses, including dessert. Kids under 12 are welcome, too, for half-price. Supper, 926 South St., 215-592-8180, supperphilly.com.

â&#x20AC;&#x201D;Alexandra Harcharek

P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R | M A R C H 2 5 - A P R I L 1 , 2 0 1 0 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T |

4:30-9 p.m., $15-$45 Âł For those with celiac disease â&#x20AC;&#x201D; an intolerance to gluten in food â&#x20AC;&#x201D; dining out can be harrowing and complicated. At SautĂŠâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Celiac Awareness dinner, though, you can be sure that everything served will be both safe to eat and delish. Chef Nicholas Cassidy plans on serving a three-course meal featuring dishes like country-fried chicken, wild striped bass, wild boar shank and tempura tofu. There will be a full gluten-free kidâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s menu available, too. A portion of sales will benefit the National Foundation for Celiac Awareness. SautĂŠ, 775 S. Front St., 215-271-9300, sauteonline.com.

food | the agenda | a&e | feature | the naked city classifieds

[ i love you, i hate you ] CERTIFIABLE

MAIL YOU PROMISED

SISTA SWEET-PEA

You are fuckin’ crazy. Why in the world would you think these people you used to know would talk to you day after day, week and after week, in some anonymous forum, when they could just ask a mutual friend for your number and freakin’ call your ass? What do you think? you’re so special that you’d have some kind of special relationship with these people? Something that actually means something? Please. Grow the fuck up and take a bite out of reality. Just because you freakin’ can’t let go of those assholes and write to them all the time, doesn’t mean they’re paying a damn bit of attention to you. There’s no secret message, no secret love, no secret secret. You are just a naive fool asking to waste your life on the written word. Go out in the real world and get yourself a real boyfriend. And quit harassing them! They don’t want you! Move on!

I would appreciate it if you would keep your promise. I let you off paying for child support for our three daughters, due to my stupidity. I still have time to go to court and get many years of back child support if you do not live up to your promise. I will be expecting your snail mail shortly. Life is not always going to benefit you. Your a grown man. You are responsible, just do it!

My advice is to listen to your shrink. They’re the one sitting right in front of you telling you it’s not real. Telling you no one gives a shit about you because I mean, c’mon, you’re no celebrity. You know everytime you tell a medical professional about your delusion they think you’re crazy. Why do you put yourself through it? Just believe it’s not real and it will be! Good god! Let go!

R U MESSING WITH ME?

THE FORUTUNE

Here I am, thinking of someone, and you bring up

To the pretty brunette playin the wheel slot next to

FIFTY-SOMETHING BABY It be long now until I wrap my arms around you and touch your soul and fill you with my love. We have waited so long to be together and soon it will pay off! We won’t get out of bed for a day or so my sweet girl. I am yours completely and can’t wait to devour you! I love you Double L. All my heart, Your Beantown Boyo.

WHAT THE HELL I don’t want you with your stupid money. So many girls/women want boys/men for their money... like it’s a prerequisite or something. Fuck that, I’d rather be poor and in love with all my heart than in some stuffy stuck up money hole of a relationship where you buy me everything I want but you’re heart is dead to business...you’re so paranoid someone wants you just for your money, why don’t you find one of those girls/women and make her deepest wish come true! Then you can swim in your shallow pool together! Ugghh.

HONESTY

M A R C H 2 5 - A P R I L 1 , 2 0 1 0 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T

When you go out to eat a part of you group pays with cash and you ask that the rest be put on you’re card, DO NOT tip on card amount! Tip on the full bill. Servers didn’t get shit off of that cash and you’re ripping off your friends! Also: If you are with a large party and you’re expecting separate bills, we hate you! Aside from that, have the courtesy to tell you server ahead of time that you want your bills separate.

If I told you I had feelings for you would we still be the same? This secret will forever keep me somewhat disconnected to you but it is worth it in order to keep you in my life. Those nights we kissed, just two drunk girls having fun, I act like I don’t remember but I do, I always will. I want to say its just a crush, a typical college curiosity but I don’t wear my heart on my sleeve, I don’t fall for people easily. Its a feeling that I rarely get and I’ve had it ever since I first met you, a strong pulling at my stomach, a nervous feeling that if I get too close I might go too far. I wish I could talk to you about this, confide in you the way I should be able to, but I cant do that because I love you and you’re my best friend.

I ran home to see you today, I was so excited to smell you and lick you all over, and kiss you with my sweet sweet lips. And lo and behold I got home and you were sticking that fat ugly dick in you. Go ahead and cheat. Can’t keep you down. But that’s the last time you’ll play with my balls. Ho ho ho.

58 | P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R |

TIPPING ETIQUETTE

TO MY BEST-FRIEND

COOCHIE LOVE

is always the best policy. Radioactive leaks are not. When I was 17, young, beautiful, and in love, I thought I just needed one guy to love me as I am, accept me for all that I am, and everything I have done. this is of course when I had no self-esteem, and was only validated by another. anyway, I told him everything...hoping that he would still love me, it was a test of sorts, and he did. we fought like mad, passionate mates...kicking each other out of cars in Spring Lake...fucking at construction sites...sweet talk at the diner. I thought I was going to marry him. I was sure of it. then he left me for my friend...born on the same day, minutes apart, different time zones. I was devastated. but I tried to be big and let her know that if anyone was going to be with him...I’d want it to be her. I suppose it was an act of self-sacrifice, but I had lost him months earlier. anyway, my point is I always thought I needed and wanted that one person in my life to make me complete. leftover abandoned father syndrome. but I see know, as I have held on for years, to people that have long since disappeared from my life in any real sense...that I only needed to accept myself and my situation to be happy. and then make the most of what God or fate has left to me. Penelope is a great movie. I totally empathize with her. moral of the story is that even though he left me, I found somebody else, somebody better for me. and then I left him for somebody else. and then I left him for someone else. so now I’m just confused. but I do know what I need to do. and with all good intentions...I don’t need you to do it. so, know that I care. and know that maybe I love you. at least your words. because that’s all I have of you left.

want to see this Chuckie Doll in action, well by all means, I will just have to stop on in!

YOU COULD BE FROM VENUS

that. I think you’re all serving me scrambled eggs. Don’t worry, I have my head on straight and true... and I know who gets what and what’s for who. You, my dear, belong to her...but you’re not talking to me anyway, are you? You should always stick with your best friends, and put them before the girl. The girl you put first is the one. Don’t make that mistake with me. You didn’t though, did you?

SHE WISHES She was still a virgin because of something noble, like love, waiting and waiting for the one she thought was and maybe that was a large part of the obsession...but the fact of the matter is she’s not a killer and refuses to be known as the Toxic Avenger. She’ll be a virgin till the day she dies.

me at Parx Sunday night, I just wanna Thank You! again. The money I won because of your luck gave me the cash to party for the rest of the night, plus some scratch left over to get me weed for the week. I love you for making my loser dreams a stoner reality.

THE GLOVES ARE OFF Well thanks for the reply! Now lets see...why your significant other wanted to move the fuck out? Hmmm... Maybe you shouldn’t Come spy with me! How about stopping this bullshit! I really have nothing to lose, how about you? I have no secret secrets only regrets! And you know what the sound of peace is, one hand clapping! I stopped my foolish antics and visits months ago! But hey, if you

I to write you of all days...our anniversary...not that I could ever top so long ago...but I had to let you know. There’s no green beer this year...no smiling Irish faces...no kiss me I’m Irish...can we dispense with the nationalism for a moment and focus on one moment or two...you, me, futon, bong, IM, he will devour your world (and I let him), did I lay my head on your lap that night? Is it a false memory? I imagine now, me telling you to close your eyes, silently stripping, you seated before me, unknowing, I sit on your lap, bare skin, tell you to open your eyes. I say...”I always wanted you.” Flashforward to lovely and amazing...someone who doesn’t live with their parents...someone who doesn’t wear a fanny pack...ah, the things we remember. Flashback to gybe, seeing you walk in that room, me slowly melting, having a realization. Flashback to you down the hallway saying, not looking at me, looking down...”wait, don’t go...” And if I had stayed? Well, I guess I’ll never know. I, too, have my regrets. Now what? What about Charlie? ✚ To place your FREE ad (100 word limit), go to citypaper.net/ILUIHU and follow the prompts. ADS ALSO APPEAR AT CITYPAPER.NET/lovehate. City Paper has the right to re-publish “I Love You, I Hate You”™ ads at the publisher’s discretion. This includes re-purposing the ads for online publication, or for any other ancillary publishing projects.

C A L L 2 1 5 - 7 3 5 - 8 4 4 4 F O R A D V E R T I S I N G I N F O R M AT I O N | PLACE YOUR FREE ONLINE CLASSIFIED AD ATCITYPAPER.NET/CLASSIFIEDS C L A S S I F I E D S D E A D L I N E S Billboard Friday, 5 PM | Adult Friday, 12 PM | All Other Classified Categories Monday, 4 PM

Adoptions ADOPTION:

Adopt: Energetic creative childless couple promises love, wonderful future, stayat-home mom, lots of cousins. Expenses Paid. www. CuddlyHome.com; email CuddlyHOme@yahoo.com or call Marianne/Dan toll-free 1-877-739-6889. PREGNANT? CONSIDERING ADOPTION?

Talk with caring agency specializing in matching Birthmothers with Families nationwide. LIVING EXPENSES PAID. Call 24/7 Abby’s One True Gift Adoptions 866-413-6293.

Public Notices AIRLINES ARE HIRING

Train for high paying Aviation Maintenance Career. FAA approved program. Financial aid if qualified- Housing available. CALL Aviation Institute of Maintenance (888) 349-5387. NOTICES

Lessons & Workshops EARN $75-$200 HOUR

Media Makeup Artist Training Ads, TV, Film, Fashion. One week class. Stable job in weak economy. Details at http:// www.AwardMakeUpSchool. com 310-364-0665.

For Sale BDSM STUDIO 4 SALE

One of Philly’s oldest and best equipped video/photo studios is now available for purchase at below market rate. Includes all equipment: (Including very large collection in storage): facility, phones, credit cards if qualified. Lease option; Friendly landlords, sleeping quarters, and much, much more. Turn key operation ready fort the right person to take it to the next level. Female Oriented. 215-238-0940. EXERCISE BIKE

Nordictrack Exercise Bike R400 never used $225;Pride Victory 10 mobility scooter $800. Historic Area; 609397-4060 SELF DEFENSE PRODUCTS

Affordable personal safety and home protection products. The tools you need for survival. Crime is real. Protect yourself! Don’t live in fear, your safety is our business. Large inventory of quality items. Order online and save. www. lylajdefense.com SELF DEFENSE PRODUCTS

Business Services ATTEND COLLEGE ONLINE

from Home, “Medical, “Business “Paralegal, “Computers, “Criminal Justice. Job placement assistance. Computer available. Financial Aid if qualified. Call 888-220-3984 www. CenturaOnline.com. BUSINESS OPPORTUNITIES

jobs

Employment Agency/ Service **BODYGUARDS WANTED**

FREE Training & Job Placement Assistance for members. No Experience OK, Excellen potential $$$. Full & Part Time.

2010 RIVER DECK JOB FAIR

March 27th, Noon - 5pm Hiring all Positions: Bartender, Server, Bar Back, Hostess, Security, Cooks. Bring Resume and current picture Cavanaugh’s Riverdeck 417 N. Columbus Blvd BARTENDER TRAINEES.

No experience necessary. Make up to $40 an hour in wages and tips. Meet new people, work in an exciting atmosphere. Call (877) 5689534. BUSINESS OPPORTUNITY

GOJI, ACAI, MANGO NONI R E P S & C U S TO M E R S ! 15 min Presentation Break through delivery reduces COST, boosts RESULTS! No Additives! Free Samples & CD! (800)595-4416 GojiChews.com CUSTOMER RELATIONS OPPORTUNITY

Excellent Full/Part Time Customer Relations Opportunity Local Distributor for Domestic & International Manufacturer with divisional office in El Cerrito. Now Hiring Full/Part Time for Indoor Air Treatment System. Now Expanding with Immediate Openings P/T in Sales Department in the East Bay Area. (Hercules, Berkeley, Emeryville, Rodeo, Pinole, El Sobrante, Martinez, Albany, Kensington, Orinda, Moraga, San Pablo and their nationwide office ) No Experience Required Must be at least 18 years of age Reliable Vehicle for Transportation EVENING AND WEEKEND POSITIONS AVAILABLE Company Offers: · PAID TRAINING · NO LAYOFFS · RAPID ADVANCEMENT · PAID VACATION All applicants must be Neat in Appearance, Hard Working, & Ready to Start Immediately! SEND YOUR RESUME to: vivandlaw01@yahoo.com DANCERS

Work for the only Upscale Gentlemen’s Club in Atlantic City. We cater to the Casino’s a n d C o nve n t i o n C e n t e r visitors. Earn up to $2,500 weekly. Website: www.allureatlanticcity.com For an interview: 484-2396666 DENTISTS NEEDED

General Dentists needed to work in busy Pennsylvania practice locations. Pd malpractice, health & signon bonus for certain locations. Send CV to cjpatterson@ kosservices.com

EARN MORE MONEY!!! Are you over 18? Between High School and College? Drop that fast food job! Travel and Have fun w/Young Successful Business Group. 2wks. Paid Training, Lodging,Transportation Provided. Call 1-877-6465050. HELP WANTED

Drivers: NO MONEY DOWN! CO CREDIT CHECKS! Top Lease Purchase Plan! *Low Monthly Payments! *High & Pay Package. Owner Operators Welcome! 1-800-7676918 www.JoinCRST.com. $$$ HELP WANTED $$$

Extra Income! Assembling CD cases from Home! No Experience Necessary! Call our Live Operators Now! 1-800-4057619 EXT 2450 http://www. easywork-greatpay.com. HELP WANTED DRIVER

OTR DRIVERS NEEDED! Reefer, Tanker and Flatbed Positions. Prime Inc., is a financially stable, expanding and growing carrier. 9 months + OTR exp. 1-800-277-0212 www.primeinc.com. HELP WANTED DRIVER

CDL-A Drivers: High Miles Means Big Paycheck! Over the Road Dry Can & Flatbed. Great Benefits. Class ACDL, Good Driving Record Required. Western Express. 888-801-5295.

SALES JOB

FULL TIME AND PART TIME JOB AVAILABLE..$5000 $15,000 MONTHLY Looking for a flexible position that allows you to use your sales skills? Read on b/c we have a need for extremely outgoing and reliable individuals for just that. We are looking for experienced sales people that are reliable and highly motivated! Applicants must be friendly yet assertive, professional and have outstanding people skills. Sales and/or marketing experience is required. Please email us now if interested! Email:sunsolutions58@yahoo.in Required Skills * Excellent verbal * High energy and ability to work comfortably in an entrepreneurial * Organized and self-motivated– knows how to work independently and set and achieve goals * Collaborates productively with colleagues at all levels * Computer Email us now if interested! Email: sunsolutions58@yahoo.in TRAVEL INDUSTRY SALES!

F/T P/T Earn $ 2,000- $3,000 per Month, Business minded! contact:Terrance 267-7500987

HELP WANTED DRIVER

REGIONAL DRIVERS NEEDED! MORE HOMETIME! TOP PAY! Up to $ 4.3/mile company drivers! 12 months OTR required. HEARTLAND EXPRESS 1-800-441-4953 www.heartlandexpress.com. HELP WANTED DRIVER

REGIONAL DRIVERS NEEDED! MORE HOMETIME! TOP PAY! Up to $1.43/mile company drivers! 12 months OTR required. HEARTLAND EXPRESS 1-800-441-4953 www.heartlandexpress.com. HELP WANTED DRIVER

real estate

Borders State Land -$69,995. 5 Acre Camp Lot-$10,995. 5 Acres w/New Cabin-$19,995. Over 50 new land bargains. Call for details 800-229-7843 or visit www.LandandCamps.com.

Out of State Property for Sale WATERFRONT PROPERTIES

Coastal North Carolina free list of land bargains, water access homesites from $35,900direct access ICWW, Pamlico Sound, Atlantic Ocean. Financing available. 1-800566-5263.

rentals

JUST REDUCED! 5BR/2B HOME!

Apartments for Rent 3BR ROWHOME W PARKING/DECK

3br/2.5ba rowhome available now - $2,400/month. 20XX Catharine Street. Convenient to Rittenhouse, Broad Street, all major highways. APARTMENTS FOR RENT

Move up to Mt Airy, trade concrete for trees. Large bright apartments, near Manyunk and Chestnut Hill. 15 min to Center City. Oak parquet floors, modern European kitchens, A/C, laundry, DSL & Cable available. On site super, easy parking. Studio, 1 & 2 Bedrooms available. Rent includes heat. 215-438-1076 or info@cliveden.net Check out floor plans & pix at www. cliveden.net Rehabbed 4 rooms, yard, washer/dryer, bring pets, utilities paid! $650 LOCATORS 215-923-8400

We’ve Expanded to Milton, PA! Class-A CDL drivers needed! Practical Mile Pay. Great Benefits Guranteed Home-Time. Strong, Stable & Safe 1 Year OTR experience required www.veriha.com 800-3339291.

4122 Parrish St in West Philly. A Spacious, End-unit, Renovated, Rowhome for sale for $115,000. Call 215-805-7022.

ART MUSEUM

Land/ Lots for Sale

BELLA VISA

HELP WANTED INSURANCE

Custom Built Mountain Home/5 Lots, Wilkes County, NC, 3/30/10at 6 p.m., Home & 1 Lot Sell Absolute. Iron Horse Auction, 800-997-2248, NCAL3936, www.ironhorseauction.com.

COLONIAL LIFE seeking licensed Life & Health agents to market voluntary employee benefit programs to employers. Register for our Informational Event. Call Trivonne Gilliam, 856-482-028 or email trivonne. gilliamcoloniallife.com. $$$HELP WANTED$$$

Extra Income! Assembling CD cases from Home! No Experience Necessary! Call our Live Operator Now! 1-800-4057619 Ext. 2450 http://www. easywork-greatpay.com

AUCTION

LAND FOR SALE

Cameron County-Portage Twp. 2.6 acres near Sizerville State Park. Trout Stream frontage, borders state forest, perc, part field woods. $39,000. Owner financing. 800-668-8679. LAND FOR SALE

One Time Sale NYS LAND BARGAINS 40 Acres w/Camp

House apartment, No credit check! Hardwood floors, pets $575 LOCATORS INC 215922-3400

Renovated apartment, bring pets! storage, appliances $550 LOCATORS INC 215922-3400 Duplex four rooms on 1st floor, basement fenced yard $600’s LOCATORS INC 215922-3400 BUSTLETON

Large 4 rooms, fee paid, large kitchen, pets ok $600’s LOCATORS INC 215-922-3400 CATER GARDENS

4 bedroom duplex! Parking, pets, no credit check! $625 LOCATORS INC 215-9223400 CENTER CITY

Great location! Cozy redone house apartment, air, appliances $500’s LOCATORS INC 215-922-3400

SPACIOUS FOUR BEDROOM

CENTER CITY

Just renovated 3 bedroom! Patio, yard, pets ok $725 LOCATORS INC 215-922-3400

38xx Spr ing Garden St.; beautiful and spacious four bedroom/2 bath; hardwood floors; free use washer and dryer; dishwasher; avail. 8/25; close to Drexel, Penn, Center City and public transportation; call 610-658-0103; $1700+

CENTER CITY

TEMPLE

Just renovated 3 bedroom! Pets welcome! Patio, yard $725 LOCATORS INC 215-922-3400 CENTER CITY

Renovated house apartment, washer/dryer, air, near transportation! $500’s LOCATORS 215-923-8400 COBBS CREEK PARK

Duplex 4 rooms! Privated entrance, 1st floor, bring pets $600 LOCATORS INC 215922-3400 CRESCENTVILLE

ART MUSEUM

Homes for Sale

CENTER CITY

Four rooms, 1st floor apartment, hardwood floors, yard $600 LOCATORS 215-922-3400 EAST MT AIRY

Duplex 2 bedroom, deck, fireplace, air, parking $725 LOCATORS INC 215-922-3400 FAIRMOUNT PARK

1st floor 2 bedroom house apartment, patio, yard, deck $600’s LOCATORS INC 215922-3400 FAIRMOUNT PARK

Cottage! Utilities paid! Sunroom! parking $500 LOCATORS 215-922-3400 HISTORIC GERMANTOWN

Huge Mansion apartment! Utilities paid, pets $725 LOCATORS INC 215-922-3400 MANAYUNK VCT

1 bedroom, No credit check! Yard, near park! Pets ok $500 LOCATORS 215-922-3400

2+ bedrooms, no credit check! Yard, bring pets! Negotiable lease $525 LOCATORS INC 215-922-3400 TEMPLE UNIVERSITY

700 Plus Electric. Peco provides discount on electric during heating season as all utilities are electric. Renovated one bedrooms available within walking distance to Temple U. Recessed lights, new kitchens and bathrooms with full tubs. Floors are ceramic in bath and kitchen, some carpet and some hardwood. Call 215-327-6314. UNIVERSITY CITY

$1350 Plus Light, bright, and airy three bedroom on third floor of converted Victorian. Perfect for USP students. Hardwood floors, Kitchen/ living area with lots of light. Large ceramic tile bath with washer and dryer. Two ample bedrooms on main floor with third bedroom in loft area. Call 215-327-6314.

Studio/ Efficiency 15TH/SPRUCE

Charming Studio in Brownstone directly across from Kimmel Cntr, HW Flrs, Renovated Kitchen, Deco FP, Built in Bookshelf, Laundry. $730/ Mo. Avail April. 877-856-2947 Lic #220402 15TH/SPRUCE

4 room duplex, fee paid! Large kitchen, private entrance $625 LOCATORS 215-922-3400

Large/Bright Studio in Charming Brownstone, HW Flrs, Lrg Closets, Onsite Laundry, Intercom Entry. $840/Mo. 877-8562947. Lic # 220402

NORTHERN LIBERTIES

RITTENHOUSE SQUARE

MT AIRY

1126 C Oniel. 2 bedroom, A/C, W/D, D/W, Hardwood Floors, Intercom, Private Courtyard. One block from the Piazza $900 + Utilities. (610) 358-0723 QUEENS VILLAGE

4 room apartment, 1 st floor, hardwood floors, washer/ dryer $750 LOCATORS INC 215-922-3400 RITTENHOUSE SQUARE

Walnut Street! 13 ft ceilings! Loft! Pets ok $800’s LOCATORS 215-923-8400

Lovely Studio in Beautiful Brownstone, Block to Rittenhouse Sq, New Kitchen, HW Flrs, Onsite Laundry, Intercom Entry. Ask About Move-in Discounts! $875/Mo. 877-8562947. # 216850

One Bedroom 15TH/SPRUCE

Beautiful Art Deco High-rise 1Bdrm Apt, Desk Attendant, HW Flrs, Updated Kitch, Onsite Laundry, Intercom Entry,

GENTLY MOVING YOUR EARTHLY POSSESSIONS

215.670.9535

www.mambomovers.com

ALL CASH VENDING! Do you earn $800 in a day? Your own local candy route. Includes 25 Machines and Candy All for $9,995. 1-800-460-4027.

Help Wanted – General

HELP WANTED

P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R | M A R C H 2 5 - A P R I L 1 , 2 0 1 0 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T |

Pursuant to $128.85 of the Pennsylvania Department of Agriculture Title 7 regulations, GROWMARK FS, LLC. hereby gives notice of ground application of “Restricted Use Pesticides” for the protection of agricultural crops in municipalities in Pennsylvania during the next 45 days. Residents of contiguous property to our application sites should contact your local GROWMARK FS, LLC. facility for additional information. Concerned Citizens should contact: Michael Layton, MGR. Safety & Environment, mlaytongrowmarkfs. com GROWMARK FS, LLC. 308 N.E. Front Street, Milford, DE 19963. Call 302422-3002.

Insurance Agency for Sale. Affiliated with major national carrier. A great business opportunity! Please send inquires to: agencyforsalePA@aol.com or Fax: 866-296-7535.

Travel expenses Paid. 1-615228-1701. www.psubodyguards.com.

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BUSINESS OPPORTUNITIES

POLICIES: It is the responsibility of the Advertiser to check his or her ad the first time it runs. This newspaper can assume no responsibility for errors beyond the first printing of the incorrect ad. City Paper will not be responsible for failure to insert an advertisement. City Paper reserves the right to edit advertising copy, graphics and photos.

the naked city | feature | a&e | the agenda | food

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Amazing Location!. From $1070/Mo. 877-856-2947. Ask About Move-in Discounts! Lic #219789. 15TH/SPRUCE

Enormous 1Bdrm in Beautiful Victorian Brownstone, HW Flrs, 2 Deco FP, Eat-In Kitch, Tons of Closets, Hi Ceilings, Deco Moldings, Laundr y. $1185/Mo. Avail Mid April. 877-856-2947. lic# 380139

Two Bedrooms 15TH/SPRUCE

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118 East Chestnut Avenue, North Wildwood, NJ 08260

Absolute Turn-key ready with a very open floor plan. Just right for the big family. Asking $435,000 (Also available for rent.) • • • • • • • •

Open Floor Plan with 3 decks 1,742 Sq. ft. living space 3 large bedrooms, 2 ½ Baths Gas Fireplace, Gas Heat and Central Air Conditioning Oversized Garage plus outside parking for 2 cars Outside enclosed hot/cold shower Large yard Fully Furnished right down to the silverware

Large 2bdrm in Beautiful Brownstone, HW Flrs, Decorative Fireplace, Lrg Closets, A/C, Laundry, Intercom Entry. $1425/mo. 877-856-2947. Ask About Move-in Discounts! Lic #380139 9TH SPRGGRDN-2BDRM 1200.00

Beautiful bi-level two bedroom apar tment for rent. Recently fully renovated Hardwood floors throughout apt. Washer/Dryer in unit View of the City skyline from front windows Small dogs Minutes from Center City, Art Museum, Northern Liberties and Olde City. Minutes to Temple University, Community College & Hahnemann Central Air/Heat call Eileen: 561-506-5886 GERMANTOWN

2 bedroom, 2 story house, No credit check! Deck, yard $650 LOCATORS 215-922-3400 GERMANTOWN

C a ro l M c C o r m i c k

609-729-8855 ext. 34 – office . 609-522-7755 – fax 2 1 5 - 4 9 8 - 1 3 8 4 – c e l l . c a r o l m @ d o n m a r t i n re a l t y. c o m

No credit check! 2 bedroom house apartment, parking, pets ok $600 LOCATORS INC 215-922-3400 MANAYUNK

Walk to Main Street! 2 bedroom 1st floor, fee paid! washer/dryer, pets ok $800 LOCATORS INC 215-922-3400 NORTH EAST

Pets welcome! Near park! Great location! Basement 600”s LOCATORS INC 215922-3400 NORTHERN LIBERTIES

68 | P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R |

M A R C H 2 5 - A P R I L 1 , 2 0 1 0 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T

1126 C Oniel. 2 bedroom, A/C, W/D, D/W, Hardwood Floors, Intercom, Private Courtyard. One block from the Piazza $900 + Utilities. (610) 358-0723 NOTHERN LIBERTIES TRINITY

2nd & Girard area. Gated court yard, Hardwood Floors, Washer/Dryer, Dishwasher, Garbage Disposal, Central Air. $900 per month plus Gas & Electric. 610-544-5931 RIVERFRONT VCT

UNIVERSITY CITY

No credit check! 2 bedroom Duplex apartment, patio, pets $650 LOCATORS INC 215922-3400

Three+ Bedrooms 3BR IN TEMPLE MAIN AREA

22XX N. 18th Street (18th & Susquehanna). 3 bedroom, 1.5 bath home available immediately for Spring/Summer. Eat-in kitchen, large living room w/tons of natural light and separate dining room. Basement is clean and dry for storage. Washer/Dryer can be installed by Landlord in kitchen. $1500/mo rent + utilities. Call Kimberly S. Ruley of Keller Williams Realty at 610-520-6555 to schedule an appointment. ART MUSEUM

3 bedroom 2 bath 2 story, ample parking, basement, pets $900’s LOCATORS INC 215-922-3400 ART MUSEUM

Two story 3 bedroom 2 bath, ample parking, washer/dryer $900’s LOCATORS INC 215922-3400 ART MUSEUM VCT

Bring pets, 3 bedroom 2 story, no credit check, parking $825 LOCATORS INC 215-9223400 ART MUSEUM VCT

Three bedroom 2 bath 2 story, parking, hardwood floors, pets $900’s LOCATORS 215-9238400 BREWERYTOWN

3 bedroom, 2 story house, Fenced yard, parking, pets ok $700’s LOCATORS INC 215-922-3400 BREWERYTOWN

No credit check! 3 story 3 bedroom home with finished basement $675 LOCATORS INC 215-922-3400 BRIDESBURG VC

3 bedroom home, den, parking, bring pets! $800”s LOCATORS 215-922-3400 BROAD AND WOLF VICINITY

3 Bedroom Modern Home. 1 and a half bath. Hardwood Floors, new tile kitchen and bath. Full Yard, close to public transportation, shopping, restaurants etc. No Pets, $1200 a month +Utilities (215) 3896550 CEDAR PARK

3 bedroom, 2 story home, fee paid! Basement, patio, dining room $800 LOCATORS INC 215-922-3400

2 bedroom apartment, washer/ dryer, appliances, newly renovated! $600’s LOCATORS INC 215-922-3400

CENTER CITY

SOUTH PHILADELPHIA

CENTER CITY

2 bedroom house apartment, near park! Fenced yard, washer/dryer $500’s LOCATORS 215-922-3400 SOUTH PHILADELPHIA

Pets welcome! 2 bedroom, 2 bath, 2 story home! Finished basement $625 LOCATORS INC 215-922-3400 SOUTH PHILADELPHIA

Two bedroom 2 story house, quaint setting! Dining room, pets $500’s LOCATORS INC 215-922-3400 TEMPLE UNIVERSITY

Just redone! Two bedroom duplex! Private entrance, pets welcome $600’s LOCATORS INC 215-922-3400

2 story house, 3 bedroom, patio, yard, pets ok!$725 LOCATORS 215-923-8400

GRADUATE HOSPITAL

2 story 3 bedroom home, no credit check! Bring $900 LOCATORS 215-923-8400 GRADUATE HOSPITAL

3 bedroom, 2 story, no credit check! Basement, yard, pet ok! $900’s LOCATORS INC 215-922-3400 GRADUATE HOSPITAL

Three bedroom 2 bath home, No credit check! Jacuzzi! Bring pets! LOCATORS INC 215-922-3400 ITALIAN MARKET

Four bedroom 2 batn home with alarm system! Big kitchen, roof deck! $950 LOCATORS INC 215-922-3400 FISHTOWN

Four bedroom 2 story house, roof deck! Patio, alarm! $950 LOCATORS INC 215-9223400 FISHTOWN

Seven rooms, 2 stoey, hardwood floors, parking, pets ok, deck $750 LOCATORS 215922-3400

1224 Peter Street Modern 3 Bedroom Home, Hardwood Floors, Washer/ Dryer, Fridge, Newly Tiled Kitchen & Bath, $850/month Call Pete: 267-307-0371

HOUSES FOR RENT

OVERBROOK

ITALIAN MARKET

Two story 3 bedroom house, garage, basement, deck washer/dryer $800’s LOCATORS INC 215-922-3400 PENNYPACK PARK

Great location 3 bedroom, yard for pets $800 LOCATORS INC 215-922-3400 PORT RICHMOND

Three bedroom home 2 story! No credit check! $650 LOCATORS INC 215-922-3400 RICHMOND

Bring pets! 3 bedroom, 2 story house, basement yard $800 LOCATORS INC 215922-3400 RICHMOND VCT

3 bedroom 2 story house, no credit check! Yard, basement $650 LOCATORS INC 215922-3400 ROXBOROUGH

Browse thousands of rental listings with photos and maps. Advertise your rental home for FREE! Visit: http://www.RealRentals.com. 1224 Peter Street Modern 3 Bedroom Home, Hardwood Floors, Washer/Dryer, Fridge, Newly Tiled Kitchen & Bath, $850/month Call Pete: 267-307-0371 MANAYUNK VCT

Lease purchase! Bring pets, 6 bedroom 2 story home, No credit check! LOCATORS INC 215-922-3400 SOUTHWEST PHILADELPHIA

Three bedroom 2 story home, lease purchase & own it! $795 LOCATORS INC 215-9223400 SPRING GARDEN VCT

Single 4 bedroom 2 bath, basement, hardwood floors, washer/ dryer, yard. LOCATORS INC 215-922-3400 SPRUCE STREET

3 bedroom renovated home! 2 story, patio, yard, hardwood floors $1250 LOCATORS INC 215-922-3400

Four bedroom Center City home! Fee paid, hardwood floors, parking, pet ok $1400 LOCATORS INC 215-9223400

UNIVERSITY CITY

TEMPLE UNIVERSITY

Three bedroom 2 story house, fenced yard, patio, washer/ dryer, basement $800 LOCATORS INC 215-922-3400 UNIVERSITY OF PENNSYLVANIA

Great location! 3 bedroom, appliances, storage $925 LOCATORS INC 215-922-3400 WEST PHILADELPHIA

No credit check! 3 bedroom lease purchase! Yard, basement $750 LOCATORS INC 215-922-3400

Homes 11XX TREE ST.

Huge totally renovated 4br 1.5ba house. Finished basement, W/D, dishwasher, whirlpool tub, large extra room. $1750 Mike 267-242-3780 4SALEBYLANDLORD.COM

4 bedroom, Spruce Street! Fee paid, parking, utilities paid $1400 LOCATORS INC 215-922-3400

tired of landlording? we buy houses in any situation. bad tenants, rental property, fixer uppers, liens, judgements, b a ck t a xe s, b a ck wa t e r, you name it we buy it. go to www.4salebylandlord.com

COBBS CREEK

DREXEL

Lease purchase, 3 bedroom, 2 story house, hardwood floors, yard $700’s LOCATORS INC 215-922-3400

3 bedroom, walk to school! Newly renovated! Appliances, $750 LOCATORS INC 215922-3400

FISHTOWN

EAST MT AIRY

Lease purchase! 3 bedroom 2 story, great location! washer/ dryer, yard $750 LOCATORS 215-923-8400

Two story, possible 4 bedrooms home, lease purchase, fee paid. pets $1200 LOCATORS INC 215-922-3400

GERMANTOWN

FAIRMOUNT PARK

Lease purchase, 3 bedroom single, no credit check! Great local $800 LOCATORS INC 215-922-3400

FISHTOWN

Single house! Poss 4 bedroom 2 bath, patio, yard, garage $1100 LOCATORS INC 215922-3400

No credit check! 4 bedroom home, porch, yard $1100 LOCATORS INC 215-922-3400 UNIVERSITY CITY

2 story 4 bedroom 2 bath house, No credit check! pets ok! $1100 LOCATORS 215-923-8400

Commerical/ Warehouse $14 1000 SQ FT RHSL SPACE

Over 1000 SF of clear and open space. Great for rehearsal, dance, yoga or martial arts. Bus at door. Adjoining kitchen. $14 an hour is the base rate. Longer term rates available. MEDICAL OFFICES FOR LEASE

Heart of S. Phila 1900 S. Broad St. Great location for Medical Center adjacent to St. Agnes Medical Center. 9,830 sq. ft or 0.2257 acres. Contact 215-9371271 for inquiries.

Roommates ROOMATES.COM

Browse hundreds of online listings with photos and maps. Find your roommate with a click of a mouse! Visit: http:/www.Roommates.com.

Vacation/ Seasonal Rental VACATION RENTALS

OCEAN CITY, MARYLAND. Best selection of affordable rentals. Full/partial weeks. Call for FREE brochure. Open daily. Holiday Real Estate.1-800-6382102 Online reservations www. holidayoc.com.

Need Rehab Money? Need Purchase Money?

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PRIME FUNDING

INC.

Philadelphia’s Leading Private Investment Lender VISIT OUR WEBSITE AT: WWW.PFICASH.COM

Customized solutions for Rehabbers & Investors!! • No Appraisals, fast construction/rehab draws. • “Fixed Rate” low cost interest only loans with quick closings.

We put your money to work for you instead of your lender!

Unique, architect-designed contemporary on 1.4 acres in desirable Whitford Hills, Exton. 4-5 bedroom house boasts large, 2-story foyer and huge living rm (29X16), w/massive stone f/p, vaulted ceilings, new skylights, windows and sliders overlooking property w/ stream. Den w/huge storage closet. Balcony to master suite, w/huge windows overlooking beautiful golf course views. Mstr bath, renovated to studs w/new plumbing, radiant heat floors, Carrera marble vanity, dual-flush toilet, etc. 3 bdrms, w/lg windows & full closets, and second full bthrm, w/new high-efficiency w/d, completes top level. This multi-level home has refinished hardwood floors. In last 3 years, updates incl: lg maintenance-free deck, water htr, Marvin and Anderson window replacement, designer lighting & ceiling fans, plumbing, interior professionally painted, water softener system, public sewer hookup, electrical panel, invisible fencing, ductwork cleaned/sanitized, gas stove, kitchen floor, roof over lv room, list is endless! 580 Whitford Hills Rd, Exton, PA. Showings scheduled to begin March 27th. Please call Erin Heilig, EveryHome Realty, #484.356.3138 (Office: 215.699.5555) to schedule a showing. Seller is a licensed PA Realtor.

NEW

CONSTRUCTION

INC.

Beautiful open & spacious condo FEATURING: • stainless steel appliances • granite countertops & hardwood floors

David J. Arend

This is a must see at this price! CALL TODAY! (609) 523-1112

Welsh Commons - 1364 Welsh Road North Wales, Pennsylvania 19454

or Visit us on the web at www.WRCoastal.com

Cell: 609 605-8657 . Fax: 856 672-0143 Email: djarend@verizon.net www.linkedin.com/in/davidjarend www.facebook.com/primefunding www.twitter.com/djarend

P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R | M A R C H 2 5 - A P R I L 1 , 2 0 1 0 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T |

4 BEDROOM / 2BATH CONDO

PRIME FUNDING

the naked city | feature | a&e | the agenda | food

For Sale: Contemporary Multi-Level Retreat $469,000

8FMDPNF

To The Wellington At Rittenhouse Square

Magnificent Square View Apartments! Studios,1, 2 & 3 Bedrooms Two Year Lease at Same Rate. All Utilities Included. Pet Friendly 19th & Walnut Streets Philadelphia PA 19103 (215) 567-7810

AVAILABLE 2024 W Reserve Dr

Sunny Corner Home, 3br - 3.5 baths 5 yr tax abatement remains on this new construction $429,900. 2118 Verona Dr

BiLevel Custom Townhouse 2br & huge loft - 2.5 ba / Garage & Driveway / Granite kitchen w/ all upgrades / 6+ yr remain on this tax abatement $369,900. 2140 Verona Dr

BiLevel Custom Townhome - 2br - 2.5 ba. Garage & Driveway Totally Upgraded - 7+ yr remain on tax abatement $329,900.

THAT’S RIGHT

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EVERYHOME

the naked city | feature | a&e | the agenda | food

We publish Every listing in Philadelphia Every day. Check out our Hotsheet!

Introducing EveryHome Realty. keeping the “REAL” in Realty. WE GET IT. We know what you want and how you want it. Interested in selling your home?

EveryHome Realty

Meet , we put the REAL in Real Estate. We know what you want, when and how you want to buy or sell a home. Our Realtors offer the full service of the big name real estates ofces in fact, we do so much more. Log onto EVERYHOME.COM and search every house available in Philadelphia and the surrounding suburbs in just seconds. Our site is updated in real time as houses go on and come off the market. Just click for an appointment and we will see you there.

215-699-5555 Ask for Michael EveryHome.com

Need to talk to a live person? We answer our phones until 8pm everyday day of the week…you won’t get that from the big names. But, you’ll also love what we don’t do. We don’t steer you to listings that are inside the ofce or have higher commission. We don’t waste money on renting big fancy ofces. We don’t spend big advertising dollars. We don’t waste money on franchise fees. We spend less and pass the savings on to you.

WE PAY YOU WHEN YOU BUY A HOME.

We know your neighborhood, we live there, we play there and we want to help you become our neighbor.

P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R | M A R C H 2 5 - A P R I L 1 , 2 0 1 0 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T |

We’ll list your home in the Realtor Multiple Listing Service, Craiglsist, Zillow, Trulia, Homestore, Facebook Twitter, Realtor.com and course, EveryHome.com. We’ll have an open house and make you a custom brochure, give you a sign, track your showings and negotiate your deal. EveryHome does all this for 4% more service for less commission- means more money in your pocket when you sell. We don’t do this by lowering the buyer’s agent’s commission which could deter the big names from showing your house – we charge less because we don’t have their overhead.

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TUESDAY, 3-30-10

THE LAST EMPEROR Record Release Show Sadat X (of Brand Nubian) Pack FM Substantial DJs Jayski & Tactics (Brooklyn)

(Baltimore)

Doors @ 9pm Advance Tickets @ eventbrite.com

Open every day 4pm - 2am Sat & Sun Brunch 10am - 4pm 5th & Spring Garden www.silkcityphilly.com

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2740 S Front St . Philadelphia 215-467-1980