Philadelphia City Paper, December 2nd, 2010 by Philadelphia City Paper

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Publisher Paul Curci Associate Publisher Nancy Stuski Editor in Chief Brian Howard Senior Editor Patrick Rapa News Editor Isaiah Thompson Associate Editor and Web Editor Drew Lazor Arts & Movies Editor/Copy Chief Carolyn Huckabay Editorial Assistant Josh Middleton Contributing Writer Holly Otterbein Assistant Copy Editor Carolyn Wyman Contributing Editors Sam Adams, E. James Beale (sports) Contributors A.D. Amorosi, Janet Anderson, Rodney Anonymous, Mary Armstrong, Nancy Armstrong, Julia Askenase, Justin Bauer, Dwayne Booth, Shaun Brady, Peter Burwasser, Charles Cieri, Mark Cofta, Felicia D’Ambrosio,Will Dean, Jesse Delaney, Jakob Dorof, Deesha Dyer, Adam Erace, David Faris, M.J. Fine, David Anthony Fox, Lauren F. Friedman, Cindy Fuchs, Ptah Gabrie, Julia Harte, Dan Hirschhorn, K. Ross Hoffman, Deni Kasrel, Gary M. Kramer, Gair Marking, Robert McCormick, Natalie Hope McDonald, Andrew Milner, Michael Pelusi, Nathaniel Popkin, Robin Rice, James Saul, Daniel Schwartz, Yowei Shaw, Jon Solomon, Amy Strauss, Matt Stroud, Andrew Thompson, Tom Tomorrow, Sam Tremble, Char Vandermeer, John Vettese, Bruce Walsh, Julia West, Kelly White Editorial Interns Sean Kearney, Joel Maison-Gaines, Juliana Reyes, Eric Schuman, Laura Weber, Daniella Wexler Webmaster Dafan Zhang Associate Web Editor/Staff Photographer Neal Santos Systems Administrator John Tarng Production Director Michael Polimeno Editorial Art Director Reseca Peskin Senior Editorial Designer Allie Rossignol Senior Designer Evan M. Lopez Designer Alyssa Grenning Contributing Photographers Michael M. Koehler, Jessica Kourkounis, Michael T. Regan, Mark Stehle Contributing Illustrators Dwayne Booth, Jeffrey Bouchard, Ryan Casey, Don Haring Jr., Thomas Pitilli, Matthew Smith Human Resources Ron Scully (ext. 210) Accounts Receivable Coordinator Tricia Bradley (ext. 232) Circulation Director Mark Burkert (ext. 239) Advertising Director Eileen Pursley (ext. 257) Senior Account Managers Sharon MacWilliams (ext. 262), Stephan Sitzai (ext. 258) Business Development Manager Ruth Constantine (ext. 215) Account Managers Sara Carano (ext. 228), William Newns (ext. 237), Donald Snyder (ext. 213) Office Coordinator/Adult Advertising Sales Alexis Pierce (ext. 234) Founder & Editor Emeritus Bruce Schimmel citypaper.net 123 Chestnut Street, Third Floor, Phila., PA 19106. 215-735-8444, Tip Line 215-7358444 ext. 241, Listings Fax 215-875-1800, Classified Ads 215-248-CITY, Advertising Fax 215-735-8535, Subscriptions 215-735-8444 ext. 235 Philadelphia City Paper is published and distributed every Thursday in Philadelphia, Montgomery, Chester, Bucks & Delaware Counties, in South Jersey and in Northern Delaware. Philadelphia City Paper is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. Additional copies may be purchased from our main office at $1 per copy. No person may, without prior written permission from Philadelphia City Paper, take more than one copy of each issue. Pennsylvania law prohibits any person from inserting printed material of any kind into any newspaper without the consent of the owner or publisher. Contents copyright © 2010, Philadelphia City Paper. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced without written permission from the publisher. Philadelphia City Paper assumes no obligation (other than cancellation of charges for actual space occupied) for accidental errors in advertising, but will be glad to furnish a signed letter to the buying public. LETTERS & SUBMISSIONS Letters should be brief and are subject to editing. Authors must sign their name for publication and each must contain an address and telephone number for verification, although neither address nor telephone number will be published. Unsolicited submissions are welcome but must be accompanied with a SASE if return is desired.

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Meet the Mindflayer

eware the hypnotic, trance-inducing, mind-melting powers of Councilman Wilson Goode Jr., which were in full, terrifying effect at a daylong hearing in City Council chambers Tuesday. The subject at hand: a bill, introduced by Councilmembers Bill Green Jr. and Maria Quiñones-Sanchez, which would restructure the city’s business taxes, eliminating the net income (profit) tax paid by Philly-based businesses and increasing the “gross receipts” portion of the tax paid by all companies that do business in Philly. The bill also exempts the first 100,000 of gross receipts — a concession aimed at small businesses. Even the city administration, which opposes the bill, acknowledges that as many as 32,497 Philly-based businesses would become exempt from the tax under the proposed change. Goode, however, would have none of it. The councilman, who vehemently opposes the bill, let his feelings be known in such force that you could practically hear the crashing of giant gongs as witnesses invited to testify against it were rendered nearly speechless — just how Goode wanted them: Testimony of accountant John Kostenbauder: Goode: There are small businesses that would have their taxes raised and small businesses that would have their taxes decreased. Is that correct? Kostenbauder: My analysis was there were more savings than costs. Goode: That’s not what I asked. The question I asked was, there

are winners and losers among small businesses — is that true? Kostenbauder: That’s true. Gong! Testimony of car dealer Anthony Tigano: Goode: Should there be winners and losers? In terms of business taxation? Tigano: I believe the way the system is set up is currently unfair. I think firms set outside the city … Goode: My question is, should there be winners and losers? Tigano: I’m answering your question: The present system is unfair — Goode: I have a second question, as well. Tigano: OK … I was just trying to answer your first question. Goode: I’m going to ask you my second question. Do you support the land value tax? Tigano: Uh … I’m trying to answer a question on the [business tax] Goode: When we consider tax structure we do not do it in isolation. Gong! Testimony of City Controller: Goode: There are small businesses that would pay more, small businesses that would pay less ... large businesses that would pay more, large businesses that would pay less ...Philly businesses that would pay more, and Philly businesses that would pay less. … Gong!

Blackjack is … a slot machine!

—Isaiah Thompson

BLACKJACK Our recent cover story detailing a sunrise-to-sunrise vigil at SugarHouse Casino,“24-Hour Party People,” contained a brief

mention that one of CP’s reporters — this one, in fact — not only blew through his company-allotted $50 gambling stipend but also lost an additional $20 of his own money. Not mentioned was the game on which he lost it: the Shuffle Master blackjack table, a video console in which up to five players compete against one of four virtual (and buxom) dealers in blackjack. The loss, at the time, was chalked up to simple bad luck. But since then, CP has become aware of a startling fact: Shuffle Master blackjack is not, in fact, blackjack: Indeed, confirms the Pennsylvania Gaming Control Board, it is “a slot machine.” The difference is downright existential. Though the game appears to offer a chance to exercise free will, that will is largely illusory: In real blackjack, skill makes a big difference; but Shuffle Master, by law, allows only a small element of human skill. Unlike actual blackjack, the exercise of skill, acknowledges state director of gaming lab operations Michael Cruz, probably accounts for about a 1 percent to 2 percent difference in the average payout over time on a Shuffle Master: “With real blackjack, if you can count cards, if you know perfect strategy, >>> continued on adjacent page

the naked city

✚ A Million Stories <<< continued from previous page

you can actually tilt the odds in your favor,” says Cruz. “You

really couldn’t do that with [Shuffle Master].” For all the nuances of standing, hitting or doubling down on a play, the game is mathematically pretty close to yanking on the ol’ one-armed bandit. This means that Shuffle Master blackjack isn’t just slightly different from the real game. Gambling expert Michael “The Wizard” Shackleford recently calculated the casino’s advantage in blackjack — real blackjack, that is — under current Pennsylvania laws, at just 0.4 percent. Slot machines, however, are allowed to hold back as much as 15 percent per bet. Not only is skill worthless, but the odds are much worse. How useful is any of this to the average casino-goer? Oh, about a minimum $20 a play’s worth, we’d say. —Isaiah Thompson

PAPER FIGHT The Public Record, a particularly unique rag published by former Councilman — and author of Going to Prison?, an account of lessons learned from his 1991 sentence for racketeering and mail fraud — Jimmy Tayoun, has long been critical of city watchdog and nonprofit the Committee of Seventy. In July, for example, Tayoun called Seventy a “propaganda force” for various private interests (the Record itself has a healthy readership among the Teamsters, who oppose many of Seventy’s reform proposals). That accusation was more hot air than hard data. But about two weeks ago, the

Record launched a full-out assault on Seventy using cold, hard facts. So it seemed, anyway. In an article titled “Committee of 70 Flunks Nonprofit Smell Test,” reporter Tony West wrote that the political watchdog “fails to meet standards of basic transparency and trustworthiness commonly used by raters of nonprofit organizations.” Citing numbers purportedly from the Pennsylvania Department of State, the article said that Seventy had spent 61 percent of its budget on programming, 15 percent on administrative costs and 12 percent on fundraising in 2008. This is troubling (and not just because those numbers don’t add up to 100), but because, West noted, “the Better Business Bureau’s Standards for Charitable Accountability state a nonprofit should spend at least 65 percent of its total expenses on program activities.” The numbers weren’t wildly far from the BBB’s standards anyway, but maybe he had a point: Watchdogs should be model nonprofit citizens. But when CP placed a call to the Department of State, the Record turned out to be wrong. According to state data, in 2008, Seventy spent 69 percent of its expenses on programming, 17 percent on administrative costs and 14 percent on fundraising. In other words, it passed the Better Business Bureau test. In 2009, in fact, the watchdog passed with flying colors: 78 percent of its expenses went to programming, 9 percent to administrative costs and 13 percent were for fundraising. Why the discrepancy? “I was just reading off the state website,” says West. “I have no idea how they come up with those numbers. Maybe they got it wrong.” “There are only so many hours I can put into the story,” he adds.

thebellcurve CP’s Quality-o-Life-o-Meter

[ + 4 ] Philadelphians boo as the small wrecking

ball used to begin the demolition of the Spectrum bounces off. We are a complicated people.

[0]

According to a new study, sandwich and takeout shops in Center City are being replaced by fancier restaurants at a rate of one per month since 2006. Let’s do this, calculator-watch … Heavens! That’s like 48 fancy restaurants!

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[ is perpetually down 20 bucks ]

[ + 3 ] According to City Controller Alan Butkovitz, fewer Philadelphians are having their houses foreclosed on than other cities in the country. Philadelphia, home of the white-knuckled squatter.

[ + 1 ] Old City residents protest plans to build

a new condo/hotel/restaurant complex at Fourth and Race. Which might explain this Craigslist posting: NEEDED: Historical artifact (dinosaur bone? remains of slave dwelling?) for use as construction delay tactic. Must be D/D free, BBW OK, NSA.

—Holly Otterbein

[ - 2 ] Police charge a Germantown man with burn-

ing down his girlfriend’s Nicetown house after an argument. Police also declare the man the winner of that argument.

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Authorities close a part of Market Street after finding a tube containing blue liquid, later deemed to be harmless. “Our bad,” says Tampax.

[ + 3 ] PGW announces reduced rates for the next three months. If we paid our gas bills, we’d be very happy about this news.

[ + 4 ] A proposed tax would target businesses

outside the city, and reduce taxes for Philly businesses making less than $100,000. Also if you see somebody from the suburbs eating a sandwich you can ask for that sandwich and they have to give it to you.

[0]

Friends throw a surprise party for Arlen Specter at Prime Rib. Then, with like 10 minutes left, Specter switches to a party in the next room because he heard there was free pudding.

[ + 1 ] Danny Bonaduce marries his girlfriend, who

says she was a fan of his reality show. She also enjoys conversation, sunsets and long orange turds on the beach.

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This week’s total: 14 | Last week’s total: -3

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✚ SCOUTED OUT

<<< continued from previous page

the same. The Scouts had been served their evictions. The Scouts had until mid-2008 to accept gays or get out. But three days before that deadline, they chose another option: They sued the city instead.

\\ THE CITY

WHAT HAPPENED

next is wellknown: The city lost, and lost bad, opening itself up to potentially having to pay $1 million of the Scouts’ legal fees. But all but unknown to the public were the details of the case and the surprising drama that unfolded behind the thick courtroom doors. The city, one could argue, had arrived in court less with sword in hand than with prod in butt. In the midst of the Great Recession, it was now defending a legal case, the merits of which its own lawyers had long doubted. Maybe that’s why, as critics charge, the city didn’t put up much of a fight as the Scouts proceeded to clobber it. While lawyers at Drinker, Biddle & Reath were busy subpoenaing every e-mail between the Working Group and the city solicitor’s office and amassing a multipound folder of evidence, city lawyers, now led by current solicitor Shelley Smith, offered the court exactly four exhibits over the course of the entire trial: all publicly and readily available, and none subpoenaed. The CLC gave the jury a show, calling to the stand Scouts who had become judges and political candidates, and detailing the 50,000 hours of community service provided by the Scouts — “Ask yourself,” said Scouts lawyer Jason Gosselin, “Who’s subsidizing who?” The Scouts even used city witness Lattera, the very member they’d encouraged to come out as gay and then banished, to testify favorably: “I still love the organization,” he told the court. “I’ll never feel any kind of resentment or anything like that toward the Scouting organization.” Conversely, the city presented its four exhibits and its simple, and perhaps somewhat uninspiring, argument: As owner of the property, it could end the relationship with the Scouts whenever it wanted, period. When, early in the trial, it came out that Judge Ronald Buckwalter had served on a local Scout council, the city waived its right to request a new judge. The Working Group, furious, felt the city was botching the case. “The things that they didn’t do — these aren’t subtle things that reasonable minds can differ on,” says one member, who wished to remain anonymous. “They’re either incompetent or they don’t care.” The group began privately demanding the city outsource the case to a private attorney. And, amazingly, it did, handing the case to David Smith of Schnaeder, Harrison, Seagul & Lewis, who took it pro bono. By then, the period of discovery was already over. Smith petitioned Buckwalter to reopen it, but the judge refused. Did the city, as some members of the Working Group charge, simply throw its hands up when it came to defending its own eviction of the Scouts? Did the administration privately determine that the Scouts case was simply not winnable, and therefore not worth much trouble? Or did

the city try, and lose, fair and square? It’s hard to say. Most city officials contacted for this story declined to comment. David Smith, who took on the case later, declined to comment, as well. Asked why the city had suddenly turned the case over to him, City Solicitor Smith says only that, “At some point, we decided that we wanted to try a different strategy.” In any case, the city lost, the jury ruling in favor of the Scouts on most counts. After 10 years of fighting, almost nothing had changed.

\ \ ENDGAME?

IT’S PROBABLY FAIR to say

that by this November, no one was particularly happy with how the Scouts saga had played out (winning in court, after all, didn’t necessarily help the Scouts’ relationship with the city or its charitable benefactors). But then, two weeks ago, a light appeared at the end of this 10-year tunnel — and, just as quickly, seemed to vanish. On Nov. 17, Smith announced that a settlement had been reached: The city would sell the Scouts’ building to

Gregory Lattera

them for $500,000 — about half of its estimated value — and, in return, the Scouts would not ask that the city recompense it the $1 million in legal fees incurred from the trial. “What we have on the table is a win-win situation,” said Smith in a statement, adding that the City Council ordinance needed to authorize the building’s sale would be introduced the following day in City Council. Except that it wasn’t. The next morning in Council, Darrell Clarke, in whose district the building sits, didn’t introduce the bill. After the meeting, he told the Daily News that he hadn’t been involved in the settlement talks, and neither had representatives of the gay community or the residents of the Logan Square neighborhood. And until they were, there was no deal. “I think there have been some premature comments made by various parties,” Clarke told reporters. “Right now, I’m not prepared to introduce anything.” Huh? What had happened?

After all, the settlement received a note of approval from many, if not most, corners: The Daily News wrote an editorial in cautious support of it. The Logan Square Neighbors Association is behind it, too, so long as the Scouts don’t flip the building to a developer. And the Scouts appear to be more interested in making long-term peace than shortterm moolah. Someone had gummed up the works — but who? There’s one group so far that’s come out as anything but happy with the proposed settlement: the Working Group. “It capitulates to the Scouts,” says Andy Chirls, a Working Group member. “The price is not right. It’s a giveaway.” The Working Group argues that a onetime payment of $500,000 is much less than the $200,000-per-year the city asked for back in 2007. And besides, says Chirls, “Once you get past the giveaway, the question is: Is there a right price? The Scouts have avowed to discriminate in that building. And the answer is, the city ought to appeal.” For Chirls, and other members of the Working Group interviewed, the fight against the Scouts is, ultimately, not just a matter of practicality: It’s a symbolic battle against discrimination and injustice — it’s the good fight, and that’s why the city should fight it. For the moment, everyone appears to be right back where they were: The Scouts are angling for a favorable escape from this uncomfortable spotlight; the Working Group still wants to duke it out with them; and the various forces of city government appear, again, trapped nervously between the two. How many share the Working Group’s gusto for the fight simply isn’t clear. Efforts to speak with other gay leaders yielded few responses, and the Working Group seems to have a monopoly over public gay sentiment (Philadelphia Gay News publisher Mark Segal, for example, told City Paper, “I believe that there’s a group of people who have been working on this” — the Working Group — “and I would bow to their judgment.”) The city, which just announced the settlement, is suddenly mum about it. The mayor’s spokesman, Mark McDonald, said, “Other parties have revealed details, we’re just not commenting on any of that. We respect the process of negotiation.” Clarke, city lawyers and the Scouts declined to comment at all. Asked whether he had direct involvement in changing Clarke’s mind, Chirls says no, and that Working Group members were not part of settlement talks. But on Nov. 11 — six days before the city announced the settlement — the Philadelphia Gay News published a piece detailing the settlement as it was in the works. The reporter, Timothy Cwiek, didn’t disclose who had alerted him to the settlement in the first place (it wasn’t in the news). He wrote that Mayor Michael Nutter’s office “had no comment,” Clarke’s office “had no comment,” and the Boy Scouts “declined to comment.” In fact, the only person quoted was Chirls, saying, “This is something that everybody has to look at skeptically.” Had the Working Group leaked the story, hoping to pull the rug out from under Clarke and therefore disrupt a deal they don’t support? “I don’t really know how the Gay News got it,” says Chirls. (andrew.thompson@citypaper.net) ✚ Additional reporting by Holly Otterbein.

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icepack By A.D. Amorosi

³ YOU HAVEN’T HEARD from Burning Brides’

Dimitri Coats since 1999? That’s OK. Philly’s darkeyed rawk-stah is in a punk supergroup, Off! with Steven McDonald (of Redd Kross), and Keith Morris (of the Circle Jerks and Black Flag; he’s also a bobblehead now, courtesy Phoenixville’s Clint Weiler’s Aggronautix). Off! dropped a Vice label 4 EP box before Thanksgiving. What does their pedigree have that Brides didn’t? “Two more penises and the first Black Flag singer,” says Coats. “Pound for pound, I think we have more hair, too. And we have way shorter songs. Finally, no one has to listen to me sing.” He misses his old friends and haunts. “Philly’s changed from what I hear but Record Exchange is still around which is one of the reasons [real-life bride] Melanie and I moved there in the first place — that and the orgy scene.” ³ In celebration of the Germantown-shot Night Catches Us’ national rollout, Philly director Tanya Hamiltonhosts a Dec. 5 lunch and screening at AMC Loews Cherry Hill (meetup.com/reelblack). ³ With all the back ’n’ forth checking on Mike Stollenwerk’s Fathom Seafood House (200 E. Girard at Shackamaxon, looks like it’ll open in days, YAY), I finally hit its neighbor The Soup Bar, the literal hot spot serving 100 varieties of broth. Anything with barley is a party on Girard. ³ Jammers and open mic jazz-bos take note: Bossa-jazz chanteuse Dena Miranda and her ensemble do their own showcase, welcome sit-ins and open the finale of their Swingin’ Affair to all players every first Monday of every month (starts Dec. 6) at National Mechanics. Meanwhile, third Wednesdays at Tritone (starting Dec. 15) are called Avant Ascension, wherein trombonist Larry Toft and sax-man Dan Peterson do their thing then open-jam-sesame to all. ³ Legendary magazine/ smoke shop Paper Moon is shining again at 520 S. Fourth St. “It won’t be a full moon for about two weeks because the magazine distributor misplaced my paperwork,” says Bill Curry.“But I have great greeting cards and my lending library’s operating.” ³Newtown-based writer/actress Tatiana Bachus’ St. Lewis Productions has a show it’s pushing to the networks called Life with Alicia. Look for webisodes to feature Vivica A. Fox. ³ Talk about nuPhilebutantes all you want. They ain’t new. Cathy McCoy, the Miss Pennsylvania runner-up who created a self-named charm and modeling school was a gawgeous Philly socialite who painted the town nightly, hanging with Kippee Palumbo and written up by my gossipy forefathers Jerry Gaghan (Daily News) and Frank Brookhouser (Inquirer). McCoy, the mother of club-owner/broker David Carroll,passed this week. She was a hell-of-a-party and she will be missed by all. ³ More ice? Nice. Citypaper.net/criticalmass. (a_amorosi@citypaper.net)

B-a-a-a Runner (detail), by Shannon Collins, mixed media. Part of the exhibit “Say Hello to my Little Friends” at Café Estelle.

firstfridayfocus By Carolyn Huckabay

³ CAFÉ ESTELLE Open your mouth and say awww: Shannon Collins’ “Say Hello to my Little Friends” — a series of sweetly painted animals sur-

rounded by their favorite snacks — returns to Café Estelle for a final hurrah before Collins boxes up her buddies for good. The critters, originally floating with their food on brightly painted cross sections of trees, have spent time exhibiting at the Philadelphia International Airport and, in various incarnations (think buttons and pocket mirrors), at Urban Outfitters stores all over the country. So why is the Philly-based multimedia artist/creature-keeper calling it quits on her little friends? “I’d like to move on to my upcoming project, which will involve illustrating dreams on a weekly basis for the span of an entire year,” says Collins, who’ll dream-draw on old vintage pillowcases, stretching them out as canvases. She’ll be asking folks to submit their R.E.M. reveries on her website, too, “so I won’t just be illustrating my own.” Thinking about contributing? You better sleep on it. Opening reception Fri., Dec. 3, 6-9 p.m., free, through Jan. 31, 2011, Café Estelle, 444 N. Fourth St., 215-925-5080, youwannatalkjive.com.

³ LITTLE BERLIN This little gallery’s growing up quick, but it needs help flapping its fledgling wings. Little Berlin, the teeny Kenzo collective that could, is moving to an “extremely raw” space at Viking Mill, a historic 1890s

textile mill-turned-artist-space a few blocks away, and organizers hope the second annual Art Dash will help alleviate some of the gallery’s financial growing pains. For the past month, Little Berlin’s been gathering donated pieces of art — anything from zines and drawings to sculptures and original pieces of clothing — for First Friday’s Dash, which involves a free-for-all for any art appreciator with $25.The scramble’s first-come, first-served, so don’t be fashionably late — and don’t forget your running shoes. Fri., Dec. 3, 6-11 p.m., $25, Little Berlin, 119 W. Montgomery Ave., littleberlin.org/artdash.

³ AND THEN THERE’S … The New Kensington Community Development Corp.’s annual

Thinking of contributing? You better sleep on it.

Fishtown/Kensington

Holiday Walk smartly coincides with First Friday, and more than 20 merchants, galleries and artist studios are participating (not to mention 60-plus vendors selling their wares at F&N Gallery). Among them: Part Time Studios, whose “Small Jawns” group show features works from up-and-coming Philly artists, all for sale for less than $150; Proximity Gallery, this month featuring gorgeous new cartographic collages by Marie DesMarais; Two Percent to Glory, purveyor of all things weird and vintage; brand-new kid on block Black Vulture Gallery; and many more. Get out your wallets, but leave your carbon footprint at home. Fri., Dec. 3, 6-9 p.m., free, Frankford and Girard avenues, frankfordavearts.org. (carolyn.huckabay@citypaper.net)

the naked city | feature

[ the mainstream is opening up ] Whether solo, with the band Pentangle, or in a duo with John Renbourn, Scottish legend Bert Jansch has had an inestimable influence on his fellow guitarists, starting with the ’60s folk revival. Nick Drake, Paul Simon and Donovan have all said as much. To this day, he has a gift for writing contemporary thoughts into melodies and arrangements that sound like they’ve existed forever. Recently he’s opened for Neil Young, so seeing Jansch solo in a more intimate space, like Johnny Brenda’s on Wednesday (Dec. 8, johnnybrendas.com), is a rare treat. —Mary Armstrong

³ craft fair If you’re trying to shop local this holiday season, a good place to start is Winterfest. Wednesday’s artisan holiday show at Mugshots (Dec. 8, mugshotscoffeehouse.com) is rife with gift-worthy knickknacks like handmade jewelry, sustainable threads and handblown glassware — all made by native crafters and sold with the intention of stimulating the local economy. For your own stimulation, enjoy local snacks, beer and wine sold by neighboring fooderies. —Joel Maison-Gaines

Seamus Cater inevitably conjures images of overalls and rocking

chairs, pickin’ and grinnin’ on some front porch in the Ozarks. These acoustic experimentalists — who play the Powel House Wednesday (Dec. 8, bowerbird.org) — may hear that train a-comin’, but it travels through tunnels carved by radical rethinkers of folk traditions; the roots-raga of Henry Flynt and the Gothic Americana of George Crumb are definite antecedents for the twosome’s rich explorations. —Shaun Brady

“There is not a single ticket left.” ³ LAST MONTH I wrote to Lisa Miller, executive

³ think tank Philly native Dan Berger, author of The Hidden 1970s: Histories of Radicalism, will moderate a panel discussion Monday (Dec. 6, moonstoneartscenter.org) with mostly local activists including Barbara Easley Cox of the Black Panther Party, Michael Simmons of the Student Nonviolent Coordinating Committee and Sharon McConnell of the October 4th Organization. Panelists will talk about the history of activism in Philly, while shedding light on their respective organizations and what they’ve learned. “The main thing,” says Berger, “is how rich and diverse the —Sean Kearney 1970s were, especially in Philadelphia.”

[ movie review ]

NIGHT CATCHES US

director of Network for New Music, to request an extra ticket for their Trade Winds from Tibet concert. Her reply was a minor bombshell: “Peter, if you had told me five years ago that these words would be coming out of my mouth, I would have found it hard to believe — but there is not a single ticket left.” A wait list for new music! And this was not an anomaly. Network has been filling more and more seats in recent years. Last season’s closer, a brilliant update of the Beethoven Diabelli Variations with contributions by 25 local composers, was acclaimed by an on-its-feet, hooting and hollering crowd. The momentum is not just in the specialty groups. The mainstream is opening up, too. The Opera Company of Philadelphia recently announced a new commission for the 2012 season. To their credit, OCP has presented new operas before, but they have been stylistically conservative, to an extent that the effort seemed counterproductive. For this new project, they have engaged Nico Muhly, a young NYC-based composer who, while not exactly edgy, brings a compellingly eclectic cultural sensibility to his work. Worth checking him out on YouTube. Even the “gray hair” organizations are along for the ride. There is always plenty of good, strong new stuff cluttered among the Mozart and Brahms at the Philadelphia Chamber Music Society. It can’t hurt that PCMS executive director Philip Maneval is himself a very fine composer. And what of our classical flagship? It may be hard to imagine now, but the Philadelphia Orchestra was once one of the cutting-edge ensembles in the country, especially in the Stokowski era, but even well into the long Ormandy tenure. Since then, new music has been delivered joylessly, spinach to be tolerated because it is good for us. I had the chance to sit down with music directordesignate Yannick Nézet-Séguin when he was here in October. He spoke with impressive specificity about programming, workshops, context and bringing new music out of its ghetto. Which is what you should expect from a 35-year-old artist. We can only hope his heart is true. (p_burwasser@citypaper.net)

P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R | D E C E M B E R 2 - D E C E M B E R 9 , 2 0 1 0 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T |

[ B ] IN TANYA HAMILTON’S debut feature, former Black Panthers Marcus (Anthony Mackie) and Patricia (Kerry Washington) navigate the pitfalls of a post-radical life. It’s 1976 in Germantown, and hope is on the horizon. Jimmy Carter’s speeches drift from car radios into the streets, and the lynchings and church bombings of the civil rights struggle are a fading memory. But for Washington, the wounds of the past are as close as the bullet holes under her kitchen wallpaper. Her Panther husband was shot dead where she and her daughter now eat breakfast, in return for the murder of a police officer. The Panthers have petered out, but their militant rhetoric remains, lying around like unexploded ordnance. Neighborhood boy Jimmy Dixon (Amari Cheatom), one of many strays Washington keeps under her wing, is too young to remember that the rifles and race-war slogans were window dressing for an organization preoccupied with meat-and-potatoes community activism. To him, picking up a gun is the only satisfying response to the daily harassment of the city’s police force. Rizzo-era racial tension is omnipresent if never explicitly invoked, contributing to the sense that violence is only one wrong move away. Patricia has suppressed her radical leanings and now works within the system as a civil rights attorney, but Marcus chose self-imposed exile, prompted by rumors that he snitched to the cops. His father’s funeral brings him back, but unfinished business makes him linger, not least his half-submerged romance with Patricia. Here, Hamilton drifts dangerously close to formula, and risks reducing her genuinely fascinating subject to a backdrop. But Mackie and Washington are too fine to let stock situations overtake them. It’s clear Hamilton wants to reach beyond the art house, to people who’ve experienced stories like hers firsthand. Even undeclared wars have their casualties, and the scars don’t always show. —Sam Adams

For Patricia, hope is on the horizon.

RADICAL ROOTS: In Philadelphia director Tanya Hamilton’s debut, former Black Panther Patricia (Kerry Washington) chooses to work within the system, not against it.

IF YOU BUILD IT

the agenda | food | classifieds

Peter Burwasser on classical

A banjo/harmonica duo with names like Woody Sullender and

³ folk

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³ experimental

a&e

[ kaleidoscope ]

Headlong Performance Institute End-of-semester performances by our Class of 2010: Friday, December 10 @ 8 PM Saturday, December 11 @ 8 PM Christ Church Neighborhood House 20 N. American St., Philadelphia

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a&e

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20 | P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R |

D E C E M B E R 2 - D E C E M B E R 9 , 2 0 1 0 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T

Philadelphia's Children's Nutcracker

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the naked city | feature

LAUREN SANCHEZ, EXTRA

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movie

“THE MOST FUN YOU’LL HAVE THIS HOLIDAY!”

FILMS ARE GRADED BY CITY PAPER CRITICS A-F.

the agenda | food | classifieds

Waste Land

✚ NEW NIGHT CATCHES US|B Read Sam Adams’ review on p. 17. (Ritz Five)

NUTCRACKER 3D

THE WARRIOR’S WAY A haiku: C’mon, assassin, just kill this wittle baby and we’ll go eat cake. (Not reviewed) (Pearl, UA Riverview)

WASTE LAND|A

“

CHER’S BACK

AND BRILLIANT IN BURLESQUE! KRISTA SMITH, VANITY FAIR

”

A “ MUST-SEE.”

JIM FERGUSON, KGUN9 ABC

PARTY.”

FRED TOPEL, SCREENJUNKIES.COM

CAN “CHRISTINA SING.

SHE CAN DANCE. SHE CAN ACT. AND SHE’LL

”

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SCREEN GEMS PRESENTS A DE LINE PICTURES PRODUCTION A FILM BY STEVEN ANTIN CHER CHRISTINA AGUILERA “BURLESQUE” ERIC DANE CAM GIGANDET JULIMUSICANNE HOUGH ALAN CUMMING PETER GALLAGHER WITH KRISTEN BELL AND STANLEY TUCCI SUPERVISOR BUCK DAMON MUSIC EXECUTIVE PRODUCED BY CHRISTOPHE BECK PRODUCERS STACY KOLKER CRAMER RISA SHAPIRO BY DONALD DE LINE WRITTEN AND DIRECTED BY STEVEN ANTIN CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS FOR THEATERS AND SHOWTIMES

“It’s not bad to be poor,” asserts Valter dos Santos, “It’s bad to be rich, at the height of fame, with your morals a dirty shame.” And with that, the 54-year-old garbage picker agrees to participate in an art project proposed by Vik Muniz, as well as Lucy Walker’s accompanying documentary. That film, short-listed for the Best Documentary Oscar and winner of the International Documentary Film Festival Amsterdam 2010’s Audience Award, takes up Valter’s self-declared mission, “to raise awareness of all us pickers.” Brazilian-born, Brooklyn-based Muniz turns garbage from Rio de Janeiro’s Jardim Gramacho landfill into art, based on photos of select pickers. Among the subjects is Tiao, president of the Association of Collectors of the Metropolitan Landfill of Jardim Gramacho, also determined to help his 3,000 fellow workers — men and women, old and young — to be seen, even as they work under difficult conditions. Sometimes, as a picker named Suelem says, they “see things that aren’t pleasant,” including occasional

WELCOME TO THE RILEYS|C Implausible and dawdling, Welcome to the Rileys doesn’t quite accomplish what it sets out to achieve (to say nothing of its title’s grammatical awkwardness). Doug (a softer shade of James Gandolfini), mourning his teenage daughter’s death and his wife’s subsequent sorrowful withdraw, plays poker and pokes a local waitress to drown his distress. But when his mistress kicks the bucket out of nowhere, he really loses his shit. He winds up in a New Orleans strip club, confronted by an aggro sexpot teenage lap-dancer-cum-hooker who’ll do anything — anal and fucking German shepherds on video notwithstanding — for cash. What Doug sees in Mallory (Kristen Stewart, finally making good on all that Twilight-mired sexuality) isn’t an easy screw, but a screwed-up 16-year-old who reminds him of his dead daughter, one who can give him a last chance at dad-kid camaraderie. Somewhat illogically, Doug moves in with the young prostitute, cleans her bathroom, teaches her about hospital corners and picks her up from motels when johns scam her and take her underwear. A sweet, strange reunion comes when Doug’s wife (Melissa Leo) snaps out of her sadness and comes to find him, joining in on a strippermakes-three round of playing house — mom helps Mallory

“

A HIGH ENERGY

P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R | D E C E M B E R 2 - D E C E M B E R 9 , 2 0 1 0 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T |

A haiku: A lavish remake of the like dumbest and most boring thing ever. (Not reviewed) (UA Riverview)

dead bodies consigned to the dump. But even as the union has modernized the collection system to include recycling, and the art show earns critics’ praise, the artists and filmmakers must consider the araeffects of their work on their temporary employees. This is the most intriguing — and unanswerable — question posed by the documentary: How are artists responsible to subjects whose lives may be exploited in their art? No matter how good the intentions, what are the real consequences of transforming someone’s life, and how might that transformation be positive — or lasting? —Cindy Fuchs (Ritz at the Bourse)

feature | the naked city a&e classifieds | food | the agenda

â&#x20AC;&#x153;KRISTEN STEWARTâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S INTENSE, COURAGEOUS AND

AWARDS-CALIBER PERFORMANCE IS REALLY SOMETHING SPECIAL.â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Lou Lumenick, NEW YORK POST

â&#x20AC;&#x153;GANDOLFINI AND LEO ARE DYNAMITE.â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Peter Debruge, VARIETY

OFFICIAL SELECTION

LOS ANGELES FILM FESTIVAL 2010

when she has a urinary tract infection; dad buys her new clothes at Wal-Mart. But nothing precious ever lasts, and before long Malloryâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s back to her old tricks. In the end itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a story about closure, not second chances: Mallory becomes the vehicle for Doug moving on from his daughterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s death, but while the newly-happy-again couple get to go back to the suburbs and start living, Malloryâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s story is bound for an unhappy ending. â&#x20AC;&#x201D;Carolyn Huckabay (Ritz at the Bourse)

OFFICIAL SELECTION

REPERTORY FILM OFFICIAL SELECTION

AMBLER THEATER

FILM FESTIVAL 2010

108 E. Butler Ave., Ambler, amblertheater.org. Family Day at the Movies

WINNER!

BOSTON FILM FESTIVAL 2010 BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS MELISSA LEO

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Mesmerizing!â&#x20AC;? -Variety

WINNER

AUDIENCE AWARD - BEST DOCUMENTARY SUNDANCE FILM FESTIVAL BERLIN FILM FESTIVAL

SEATTLE INTâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;L FILM FESTIVAL â&#x20AC;˘ FULL FRAME FILM FESTIVAL MAUI FILM FESTIVAL â&#x20AC;˘ PROVINCETOWN FILM FESTIVAL

GOLDEN GLOBE ÂŽ WINNER

James

ACADEMY AWARD ÂŽ NOMINEE

Kristen

GANDOLFINI STEWART

Melissa

-New York Post

LEO

WELCOME TO

THE RILEYS

-Los Angeles Times

-The New York Times

WASTE LAND

22 | P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R |

D E C E M B E R 2 - D E C E M B E R 9 , 2 0 1 0 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T

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LANDMARK THEATRES Exclusive Engagement AT THE BOURSE Starts Friday,December 3 RITZCenter City 215-925-7900

THE BALCONY 1003 Arch St., 215-922-5483, thetroc. com. The Twilight Saga: Eclipse (2010, U.S., 124 min.): Is that a fang in your mouth or are you just happy to see me? Mon., Dec. 6, 8 p.m., $3.

BRYN MAWR FILM INSTITUTE

BERLIN

FILM FESTIVAL 2010

SUNDANCE

This charitable event to benefit The Arc of Philadelphia and Kisses for Kyle wraps up with a choice of two kidfriendly flicks, Monsters Inc. and Elf. Sat., Dec. 4, 10 a.m., free.

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824 W. Lancaster Ave., Bryn Mawr, 610-527-9898, brynmawrfilm.org. The Calling (2010, U.S., 120 min.): This documentary chronicles religious leaders from varying faiths, highlighting the differences and similarities between each. Sat., Dec. 4, 11 a.m.-1 p.m., free. The Polar Express (2004, U.S., 100 min.): An animated train trip to the North Pole, featuring the voice of Tom Hanks. Sat., Dec. 4, 11 a.m., $5. Open Screen Mondays Submit your film to be shown on the big screen. Mon., Dec. 6, 9:15 p.m., free. Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown (1988, Spain, 90 min.): Pedro Almodovarâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Spanish comedy about a womanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s hot-mess search for her two-timing ex-lover. Tue., Dec. 7, 7 p.m., $10.

COLONIAL THEATRE 227 Bridge St., Phoenixville, 610-9171228, thecolonialtheatre.com. Batman Returns (1992, U.S., 126 min.): This is the one with Michelle Pfeiffer as Catwoman and Danny DeVito as the Penguin. Fri., Dec. 3, 10 p.m., $8.

COUNTY THEATER 20 E. State St., Doylestown, 215-3456789, countytheater.org. Ran (1985, Japan, 162 min.): A newly restored,

[ movie shorts ]

high-def screening of Akira Kurosawaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Japanese interpretation of King Lear. Mon., Dec. 6, 7:30 p.m., $9.

EVERY MOTHER IS A WORKING MOTHER Tabernacle Church, 3700 Chestnut St., 215-848-1120, allwomencount. net. DHS â&#x20AC;&#x201D; Give Us Back Our Children (2010, U.S., 20 min.): A local doc by mothers who reclaimed children from the Philadelphia Department of Human Services. Fri., Dec. 3, 5:30 p.m., donations appreciated.

FRIENDS OF THE PHILADELPHIA CITY INSTITUTE LIBRARY Free Library, Rittenhouse Square Branch, 1905 Locust St., 215-6856621, library.phila.gov. Shakespeare in Love (1998, U.S., 123 min.): â&#x20AC;&#x153;Nurse, as I love you and you love me, you will bind my breast and buy me a boyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s wig.â&#x20AC;? Wed., Dec. 8, 2 p.m., free.

HIWAY THEATER 212 Old York Road, Jenkintown, 215886-9800, hiwaytheatre.org. Happy Feet (2006, U.S., 108 min.): Whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s cuter than a fuzzy penguin? Seeing it for free. Sat., Dec. 4, 11:30 a.m., free.

INTERNATIONAL HOUSE 3701 Chestnut St., 215-895-6543, ihousephilly.org. Appropriations/ Great Super 8 This film fest honors the subgenre of found footage. The lineup of 13 shorts includes David Domingoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Super 8 and Lope Serranoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s I Love You Because.Thu., Dec. 2, 7 p.m., $8. Animated Experiments: Rhythm, Light and Color Ex-

INVITES YOU TO GET IN ON THE ACTION AT AN ADVANCE SCREENING. Log on to www.gofobo.com/RSVP and enter RSVP code CITYL01L to download two â&#x20AC;&#x153;admit-oneâ&#x20AC;? tickets. While supplies last. No purchase necessary. Limit two tickets per person while supplies last. Theatre is overbooked to ensure a full house. Arrive early. Tickets received through this promotion do not guarantee admission. Seating is on a first-come, first-served basis, except for members of the reviewing press. This film is rated R for language throughout, drug content, some violence and sexuality. Must be 17 years of age or older to enter and attend screening. Anti-piracy security will be in place at this screening. By attending, you agree to comply with all security requirements. A recipient of ticket assumes any and all risks related to use of ticket and accepts any restrictions required by ticket provider. Paramount Pictures, Philadelphia City Paper and their affiliates accept no responsibility or liability in connection with any loss or accident incurred in connection with use of a prize. Tickets cannot be exchanged, transferred, or redeemed for cash, in whole or in part. We are not responsible for lost, delayed, or misdirected entries, computer failures, or tampering.

IN THEATRES DECEMBER 17 www.TheFighterMovie.com

BURLESQUE | D Pearl, UA 69th St., UA Grant, UA Riverview

MEGAMIND | C+ Pearl, UA 69th St., UA Grant, UA Riverview THE NEXT THREE DAYS | C UA Riverview For full movie reviews and showtimes, visit citypaper.net/movies.

perimental animated Spanish films, including Ballet Burlón by Fermí Marimón. Fri., Dec. 3, 7 p.m., $8. ... ere erera baleibu izik subua aruaren ... (1968, Spain, 70 min.): Director José

Antonio Sistiaga experiments with film and paint to create his first full-length film. Fri., Dec. 3, 9 p.m., $8. Arrebato (1980, Spain, 185 min.): Director Iván Zulueta experiments with Super 8 film. Sat., Dec. 4, 7 p.m., $8. Investigation/Metacinema This celebration of multi-faceted films includes Traveling by Luis Rivera and Gonzalo de Pedro’s Figura. Sat., Dec. 4, 5 p.m., $8. Red

ent Trap (1998, U.S., 127 min.): It

doesn’t live up to the original, but it stars Lindsay Lohan when she was cute and not cracked out. Fri. Dec. 3, 7 p.m., free. Dirty Dancing (1987, U.S., 100 min.): “It’s not on the one, it’s not the mambo. It’s a feeling — a heartbeat.” Mon., Dec. 6, 7 p.m., free.

N. 3RD 801 N. Third St., 215-413-3666. Fancy Pants Cinema Bring your own VHS or DVD to this open-to-all short film screening. Tue., Dec. 7, 10 p.m., free.

PHILADELPHIA INDEPENDENT FILM & VIDEO ASSOCIATION L’Etage 624 S. Sixth St., 215-592-0656, pifva.org. Cinema Speakeasy Weekly screenings of indie media arts works and talks with those who made them. Tue., Dec. 7, 7 p.m., free.

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foodanddrink

portioncontrol By Adam Erace

food

STILL A ’ROSE

the naked city | feature | a&e | the agenda

f&d

classifieds

MELROSE DINER | 1501 Snyder Ave., 215-467-6644. Open 24 hours. Breakfast, $1.10-$9.50; appetizers, $1.60-$5.10; sandwiches/entrées, $4.35-$12.85; dessert, $1.95-$6.25. ³ BAYSIDE HIGH HAD the Max. The 90210

LOST IN SPACE: Sam Jacobson, chef at Sycamore BYOB in Lansdowne, is one of many local chefs who’s learned to make the most of tight kitchen quarters. NEAL SANTOS

[ feet first ]

LITTLE BOXES How do the chefs in Philly’s most diminutive kitchens make the most of no space? By Felicia D’Ambrosio

or every cook scrambling eggs over a shiny Viking stove or chopping onions on a custom-made butcher block, there must be 10 others who can’t open the oven door without hitting the opposite wall. And with our months of culturally sanctioned overeating offiMore on: cially here, we can all agree that the food-centric holiday season thrusts any kitchen deficiency into high relief. But while a tiny apartment kitchen can be frustrating, the challenges of operating in a small cooking area are amplified in a busy restaurant environment. We asked local chefs and owners working in cramped spaces to weigh in on how they make more with less.

citypaper.net

³ ORGANIZATION

MORE FOOD AND DRINK COVERAGE AT C I T Y P A P E R . N E T / M E A LT I C K E T.

³ PREPARATION

With only one prep table, Prawlucki and Styer must do their work in shifts. “I have to get in here before Lee to do bread,” says Prawlucki. “You have to be alone — there’s flour everywhere.” (Styer concurs: “I’m breaking down whole fish, with fish heads and blood flying.”) In addition to making sure her mise-en-place (“everything in place,” the mantra of good cooks everywhere) is completely ready, chef Mackenzie Hilton at the tiny-kitchened Mercato (1216 Spruce St.) stresses the need for line cooks in small spaces to “work tighter, cleaner, more organized. You can’t have a messy station. You’ll go down in flames because you can’t keep up. People who have more room have the luxury of being a little bit messier.” Chef Sam Jacobson at Lansdowne BYOB Sycamore (14 S. Lansdowne Ave.) says he keeps his limited burners in mind when designing his menu. Plus, a shortage of cold storage requires him >>> continued on page 34

At only 6 by 8 feet, the kitchen at Watkins Drinkery (1712 S. 10th St.) has been described more than once as a “broom closet.” Owner Jonn Klein benefited from $20,000 of brand-new equipment installed by the space’s previous owners, who sold few plates of pasta but lots and lots of cocaine. But new or old, with only four burners and a small grill, “we can’t physically serve many people,” says Klein. “Ten- and 12-tops are a challenge for the kitchen, and

we have to limit our menu. It’s 10 items for a reason … there’s no way to stock, prep or cook more than a few dishes.” When Fond (1617 E. Passyunk Ave.) chefs and owners Lee Styer and Jessie Prawlucki were scoping real estate, the size of the kitchen was “the last thing we worried about.” Once installed in the 12-by-20 space, “[we had] to think about things,” says Styer, “to make it most efficient.” Though there isn’t much the pair won’t take on for their menu, Prawlucki, a Le Bec-Fin pastry vet, admits she had to downscale desserts. “I know I can’t do chocolate work,” she says. “There’s no space.”

P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R | D E C E M B E R 2 - D E C E M B E R 9 , 2 0 1 0 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T |

crew had the Peach Pit. And us kids growing up in South Philly in the ’90s and early aughts, we had the Melrose Diner, rendezvous point after Delaware Avenue debauchery and Catholic school socials. I spent many, many nights and mornings at the Melrose, but before sidling up to the red Formica counter for City Paper,it had been a minute. The last time I ate here — in the midst of Richard Kubach Jr., whose father opened the 24-hour operation in 1935, selling to diner magnate Michael Petrogiannis in 2007 — management had changed the home fries from grated potato matchsticks (best ordered extra-crispy, best damming an ivory flow of creamed chipped beef) to cubes, and I never went back. Over a cup of hot cocoa piled high with whipped cream, I discovered the old home fries have returned, and the full-bodied creamed chipped beef is as thick, salty and satisfying as ever (and still served only from 9 p.m. to 11 a.m.). It’s the shit, on a shingle. While the diner looks different thanks to recent renovations — the once-vile bathrooms are now sleek, spiffy respites; the old sitting-with-strangers horseshoe booths have been replaced with traditional seating — the food hasn’t changed much. Melrose’s cooks know how to get bacon so crisp you can feel it shatter between the kaiser roll of the serviceable cheeseburger, and the MP-1 (that’s the chicken cutlet platter, hon) was as crunchy as I remembered. Dark and deeply savory, the giblet gravy makes the cutlet, a thick white-meat patty encased in zesty bread crumbs. Comes with a salad or soup (a hearty minestrone) and choice of two sides (fat crinkle-cut fries, limp string beans). Crouched on the triangle between 15th, Snyder and Passyunk, the majority of Melrose’s hulking structure is devoted to the on-site bakery. Though the coconut custard pie was on the scrambledeggy side, the wedge of classic apple has a buttery brown crust to die for. Get it naked, a la mode or (my favorite) drowned in warm vanilla sauce. Melrose is still closed only one day a year: Christmas. The golden butter cookies are still sold by the sack at the checkout. The waitresses still keep a secret stash of Equal behind the counter. One of them, soft-spoken Lucille, has worked at Melrose as long as I can remember. She’s still there, wrangling crazies and drunks on the graveyard shift. She’ll still rap if you ask. (adam.erace@citypaper.net)

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food | the agenda | a&e | feature | the naked city classifieds

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✚ ACROSS 1 4 7 12 13 14 16 18 19 21 23 24 25 27 30 31 34 35 37 40 41 44 46 48 49 52 53 57 58

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61 62 63 64 65 66

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✚ DOWN 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 13 15 17 20 21 22 26 28 29 32 33 35 36 37

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HOME-ASSEMBLERS NEEDED!

50yr. old Distribution company looking for online trainers.Flexible hours,great incentives and work from home.

kenmore frezzer for sale runs good 2 yr. old frezzer call 2154764358

GENTLY MOVING YOUR EARTHLY POSSESSIONS

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Unlimited funding available for business owners look-

A busy Deli in University city needs help with sandwitch making. Please reply to this ad only if you have at least few years experience in the Deli bussiness. Fax your resume to 215-222-2434.

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NATURAL HEALTH

SPRING GARDEN INDOOR

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AAAA+ Donation. Donate Your Car, Boat, or Real Estate. IRS Tax Deductible. Free Pick-Up/ Tow. Any Model/Condition. Help Under Privileged Children. Outreachcenter.com. 1-800-597-8311.

DELI PERSON

dia and if you want promote your business then we can expand your business product and services in all over India by online advertisement.For advertisement all over India. Contact: 8128298429, Website: www.prithviutility.com, Email: prithviadvertisement@ gmail.com

KENMORE FREZZER FOR SALE

Do your Holiday shopping online with a trusted site. AVON http://www.youravon. com/olayne

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ing to purchase or refinance commercial real estate. Call McCormick Consulting Group 1-866-544-1787 visit www. mcgfinancing.net

Etsy shop to see a variety of jewelry using crystals and metalwork that will help. All are one of a kind or made to your order. http://www.KunisStudio. Etsy.com

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HOLIDAY SHOPPING WITH AVON

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EMPLOYEES NEEDED!

Employees sought-part time account representatives, sales payment representatives, and bookkeepers. Computer literacy, 1-2 hours of internet access weekly, efficiency, and dedication required. If you are interested or would like further information, please contact kylebck@gmail.com. EMPLOYEES SOUGHT

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PART-TIMER ACCOUNT REPRESENTATIVES, SALES PAYMENT REPRESENTATIVES, AND BOOKKEEPERS. COMPUTER LITERACY, 1-2 HOURS OF INTERNET ACCESS WEEKLY, EFFICIENCY, AND DEDICATION REQUIRED. IF YOU ARE INTERESTED OR WOLD LIKE FURTHER INFORMATION, PLEASE CONTACT lloyd1870@gmail.com. GENERAL HELP WANTED

$9/hr Plus Bonus. Interview Today, Start Tomorrow. PT/FT. 215-271-0188 HELP WANTED

NOW HIRING: COMPANIES DESPERATELY NEED EMPLOYEES TO ASSEMBLE PRODUCTS AT HOME.ELECTRONICS, CD STANDS, HAIR BARRETTES & MANY MORE. NO SELLING, ANY HOURS. INFO: 1-985-646-1700 DEPT: PA-1017. $$$ HELP WANTED $$$

Extra Income! Assembling CD cases from Home! No Experience Necessary! Call our Live Operators Now! 1-800-4057619 Ext. 2450 http://www. easywork-greatpay.com. HELP WANTED DRIVER

Driver-NEW PAY PLAN with QUARTERLY BONUS INCENTIVE! Lots of freight. Daily or Weekly Pay. Van and Refrigerated. CDL-A, 6 months recent experience. 800-414-9569. www.driveknight.com. IMMEDIATE OPENINGS AFTERSCHOOL COUNSELORS

Two after school programs are looking for creative fun and organized individuals who want to work with 4-10 year olds.This is a part time fast pace position. We are looking to fill three immediate positions. $10 per hour benefits and incentives. Call Turquoise at 215-755-7588. PAID IN ADVANCE!

Make $1,000 a Week mailing brochures from home! Guaranteed Income! FREE Supplies! No experience required. Start Immediately! www.homemailerprogram.net.

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& Insurance Cheltenham pa 19012 215-379-3939 INVESTOR OR 1ST TIME BUYER

E. Rittenhouse St Germantown Excellent opportunity for 1st time buyers with a $3,000 grant for closing costs to live in a upgraded home with many new features. Call Tom Woolbert 267-679-1392 Or visit www. moveinpa.com American real Estate & Insurance Cheltenham Pa 215-379-3939 INVESTOR OR 1ST TIME BUYER

Newly remodeled Germantown home selling for nearly half the appraised value.Call Tom Woolbert 267-679-1392 or visit www. moveinpa.com American Real Estate & Insurance Cheltenham pa 19102 215-379-3939 MOVE RIGHT IN PORT RICHMOND

Move in ready home in Port Richmond. Large living room and dining rooms with new hardwood floors. Modern kitchen and nice size backyard. Call Tom Woolbert 267-6791392 or visit www.moveinpa. com American Real Estate & Insurance Cheltenham Pa 19012 215-379-3939 NEW CONSTRUCTION GREAT HOME

Beautiful and tasteful corner home with a 10 year tax abatement! Cherry wood floors and state of the art kitchen are just some of the selling points. Call Tom Woolbert 267-679-1392 or visit www.moveinpa.com American Real Estate & Insurance Cheltenham Pa 19012 215-379-3939 SAN DIEGO REAL ESTATE

Bay Realty offers services for selling or buying San Diego Real Estate.At Bay Realty we would like to facilitate and ease every aspect of your real estate transaction.All San Diego Real Estate listings are available on bay-realty.com.Bay Realty bring innovation to San Diego Real Estate with creative advertising ideas, tech-savvy solutions to common real estate problems, as well as legal services necessary to protect your interests at all times.For more information,visit: http://www. bay-realty.com/ Phone: (619) 721-3377 Fax: (619) 512-5130 Email: info@bay-realty.com Address: 1755 Bervy Street SD, CA 92110

Resort/ Vacation Property for Sale NEED TO SELL YOUR TIMESHARE

We are interested in selling your timeshare for you... For more information c all Sherry...Trusted business since 1984... 1-80035-CONDO 1-800-352-6636 www.timesharetravel.com

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Move-in ready! 20 minute commute to Center City $199,900. Four bedrooms, refinished parquet floors, updated kitchen and bath, new windows, gardens front and back. INCOME PROPERTY

Make money on this investors dream. 3 tenant property newly remodeled waiting for you. Call for details Tom Woolbert 267679-1392 or visit www.moveinpa.com American Real Estate

Apartments for Rent BEAUTIFUL CLEAN TEMPLE APT

living room. - Free washer and dryer on same floor. - $600/mo + utilities (about $50). contact: tub51378@temple.edu CARLTON PARK APARTMENTS!

Carlton Park Apar tments located in the lovely East Falls section of Philadelphia. Just 10 minutes from Center City by car or train. In close proximity to I-76, Roosevelt Blvd., Manayunk, Kelly Drive, and Queen Lane train station. Beautiful 2 and 3 bedroom units available! Check us out online! Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t get left out in the cold this winter...rent with Classic Management Inc. Call Erin Jones at 267-338-1877 to schedule a showing! CHARLWIN APARTMENTS

Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t miss out on this beautifully upgraded 2 bedroom unit. Upgraded kitchen and bath, hardwood floor ing throughout, ample closet space, and large bedrooms! On-site coin-op laundry. Rear parking with garage space available! This unit wonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t last long! Call today to schedule a showing. In close proximity to I-76, Roosevelt Blvd., Drexel University Medical Campus, Philadelphia University, Manayunk, and minutes to Center City by car or train. ONE BEDROOM APT AVAILABLE

Great 1 bedroom apt available in university city. $635 per month all utilites included in rent. Features are hardwood floors, deck, washer/dryer in building. Call 267-232-7732 SPACIOUS 2 AND 3 BEDROOMS!!

**Large, modern, 2 and 3 bedroom apar tments located within a shor t walk from Temple and a quick and easy commute to anywhere in the city. **Spacious living room area, large bedrooms, comfortable layouts, plenty of sunlight. **Gated outdoor common area, modern kitchen appliances, dishwasher, laundry facility in the basement. **2 Bedroom units starting at $995 **3 Bedroom unit available for $1500 **Call 267-5288813 to schedule a viewing or to inquire about other great deals and move-in specials!! S H O RT T E R M L E A S E S AVAILABLE

WEST PHILLY ROOM FOR RENT

There are 2 rooms available for rent in West Philly rowhome for $100/105 wk. Utilities incl. Access to bathroom & kitchen. Pls email dbabede@comcast. net or call 215.495.9527 anytime.

Two Bedrooms 2 Bedroom Apartment 1415 Lombard Patio, Washer/Dryer Dishwasher, Central Air, A/C First Floor, Hardwood Floors $1,300/month Call 610-322-5460 Large 2 bedroom 21st & Cherry Brand New First Floor, Patio $1,600 a month Call 610-322-5460

Three+ Bedrooms NEWLY RENOVATED

3 Bedroom Beautiful Bedroom- Full Sliding Mirror Beautiful Newly Painted Exterior $750 a Month 1929 Pierce St Philadelphia PA, 19145 Please Call 215-908-6115 RENOVATED 3 BDRM TOWNHOUSE!

Carlton Park Apartments 3 Bedroom, upgraded townhome! Hardwood flooring throughout, upgraded kitchen, fireplace...$1495 per month!!!! Minutes from Center City, Manayunk, Kelly Drive, Chestnut Hill, I-76, Roosevelt Blvd., and steps away from Queen Lane train station. Stay warm this winter in this cozy townhouse! Call or email today to schedule a showing. 267-3381877 ask for Erin RITTENHOUSE SQUARE

Enormous 3bdrm w/ 2 Full Baths in Beautiful Historic Brownstone, Full Size Washer/ Dryer in Apt, HW Flrs, 2 Decorative Fireplaces, Hi Ceilings, Newly Remodeled Kitchen w/ Granite Countertop, Separate Dining Rm, Living Rm, & Family Rm, A/C, Spacious Rooms, Terrific Location! $2650/Mo. 215-735-8030. #216850

One Bedroom

Commerical/ Warehouse

15TH/SPRUCE

GREAT LOCATION

Beautiful Art Deco High-rise 1Bdrm Apt, Desk Attendant, HW Flrs, Updated Kitch, Onsite Laundry, Intercom Entry, Amazing Location! From $1080/Mo. 215-735-8030. Lic #219789.

CORNER RETAIL STORE 10,000â&#x20AC;&#x2122; lEHIGH & GERMANTOWN AVE. contact:MARTIN 718-485-3682 X240

15th/Spruce: Huge 1Bdrm in Beautiful Brownstone, Large Rooms, Abundant Closet Space, Moder n Kitchen, Walk-In Cedar Closet, Laundry, Intercom Entry. $955/Mo. 215-735-8030. lic# 380139

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BEAUTIFUL CLEAN TEMPLE APT

Available Jan/Feb through May/June 2011. Situation: 3 female Temple students seeking roommate. Location: A few blocks from Temple campus- Arlington and 17th Street. Amenities: - 1 BR with private bath. - New construction. Very Clean. - Large modern kitchen with new appliances. - Spacious, bright living room. - Cable and internet. - Free washer and dryer on same floor. - $600/mo + utilities (about $50). contact: tub51378@temple.edu

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Available: Jan/Feb through May/June 2011. Situation: 3 female Temple students seeking roommate. Location: A few blocks from Temple campus- Arlington and 17th Street. Amenities: - 1 BR with private bath. - New construction. Very Clean. - Large modern kitchen with new appliances. - Spacious, bright living room. -Cable and internet - Free washer and dryer on same floor. - $600/mo + utilities (about $50). contact: tub51378@temple.edu

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2740 S Front St . Philadelphia 215-467-1980