Philadelphia City Paper, July 7th, 2011

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THEATER | Fun in the PlayPenn

FOOD | Garden of delights ✚ NEWS | Cuts to vital ESL school programs

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Publisher Nancy Stuski Editor in Chief Theresa Everline Senior Editor Patrick Rapa News Editor Isaiah Thompson Associate Editor and Web Editor Drew Lazor Arts & Movies Editor/Copy Chief Carolyn Huckabay Associate Editor Josh Middleton Staff Writers Holly Otterbein, Daniel Denvir Assistant Copy Editor Carolyn Wyman Contributors Sam Adams, A.D. Amorosi, Janet Anderson, Rodney Anonymous, Mary Armstrong, Nancy Armstrong, Justin Bauer, Shaun Brady, Peter Burwasser, Anthony Campisi, Mark Cofta, Felicia D’Ambrosio, Jesse Delaney, Adam Erace, M.J. Fine, David Anthony Fox, Cindy Fuchs, K. Ross Hoffman, Deni Kasrel, Gary M. Kramer, Gair Marking, Robert McCormick, Andrew Milner, Michael Pelusi, Nathaniel Popkin, Robin Rice, Lee Stabert, Andrew Thompson, Tom Tomorrow, Char Vandermeer, John Vettese, Bruce Walsh, Julia West Editorial Interns Darren Ankrom, Emily Apisa, Megan Augustin, Diana Campeggio, Matt Cantor, Ryan Carey, Peter Chawaga, Clare Foran, Khoury Johnson, Jessica Leung, Martin Martinez, Kelsey McGlynn, Grace Ortelere, Cassie Owens, Andy Polhamus, Eric Schuman, Christopher Seybert, Anjali Tsui, Brian Wilensky, Dylan Williams Associate Web Editor/Staff Photographer Neal Santos Production Director Michael Polimeno Editorial Art Director Reseca Peskin Senior Editorial Designer Alyssa Grenning Senior Designer Evan M. Lopez Designer Alicia Solsman Contributing Photographers Jessica Kourkounis, Mark Stehle Contributing Illustrators Jonathan Bartlett, Ryan Casey, Don Haring Jr., Thomas Pitilli, Matthew Smith Human Resources Ron Scully (ext. 210) Accounts Receivable Coordinator Tricia Bradley (ext. 232) Circulation Director Mark Burkert (ext. 239) Advertising Director Eileen Pursley (ext. 257) Senior Account Managers Nick Cavanaugh (ext. 260), Kevin Gallagher (ext. 250), Sharon MacWilliams (ext. 262), Stephan Sitzai (ext. 258) Account Managers Sara Carano (ext. 228), Chris Scartelli (ext. 215), Donald Snyder (ext. 213) Business Development Manager Nicholas Forte (ext. 237) Office Coordinator/Adult Advertising Sales Alexis Pierce (ext. 234) Founder & Editor Emeritus Bruce Schimmel

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contents Homo you didn’t!

Naked City ...................................................................................6 QFest Shorts............................................................................16 Queer Bait .................................................................................29 Feeding Frenzy ......................................................................36

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the thebellcurve CP’s Quality-o-Life-o-Meter

[ - 6]

Gov. Tom Corbett’s budget cuts transportation services for the mentally ill. Also he just runs up to newborn kittens and kicks them right in their wittle tummies.

[ - 2]

The Barnes Foundation in Merion closes its doors for the last time. Unless you count the back door, where all the art is being sneaked out and piled into a U-Haul.

[ - 7]

The new budget also cuts $10 million from the Dept. of Environmental Protection. High on life, Corbett has taken to driving around torching women’s shelters.

[0]

GOP presidential candidate Herman Cain campaigns at a Tea Party rally in Philly. So everybody hid all their white robes and burning crosses and talked about socialism like it wasn’t code for anything.

[ - 3]

[ - 4]

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[ - 2]

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[ - 6]

The School District plans to shut down 26 kitchens in elementary and middle schools to close the $664 million budget gap. “Hey kids, if you’re hungry, you can have a knuckle sandwich,” says Gov. Corbett. “That’s right: I punch children now. In the fucking jaw, I punch them.” Survey names Philly the second-worst city for aggressive towing. OK, guess we gotta sit down with the PPA and the tow truck operators and read it to them. A man accidentally shoots himself in a Ruby Tuesday in Southwest Philly. There is some evidence he was depressed, however, as he was dining in a Ruby Tuesday. To close the $664 million budget gap, the School District plans to cut several small, relatively inexpensive services, like tutors for failing ninth-graders and a structured recess initiative. “But don’t worry, Philly, I have a plan for taking all those underperforming and overweight students off your hands,” says Gov. Corbett. “My science team tells me that it would take only 48 hours to have all the kids liquefied in acid and pumped into the ground for the purposes of extracting natural gas. Now, I know it’s a bit on the nose, literally sacrificing our future for our present, but I’m not a clever man. If I were, this backward-ass, self-defeating state never would’ve elected me. They’re scared of clever, you see.”

This week’s total: -30 | Last week’s total: -3

NOT SPOKEN FOR: Counselor Hua Chau (second from left) stands surrounded by supporters, including concerned parent My Dung Ly (center). neal santos

[ communication ]

Lost in transLation? The Philadelphia School District is set to lay off nearly half its bilingual counselors. By Daniel Denvir

L

ast Friday, parents presented 400 signatures to the School Reform Commission demanding that Hua Chau, a bilingual counseling assistant (BCA) at H.A. Brown Elementary School, keep her job. Chau (who is actually trilingual, speaking Vietnamese, Cantonese and English) got a pink slip from the Philadelphia School District in June. “She helps with everything — early dismissals, sickness, translating papers,” says My Dung ly, a mother of three at the diverse Kensington-area school. Without her, “It would be chaos!” BCAs like Chau translate documents, liaise with families and effectively serve as intercultural social workers — which is why parents and immigrant advocates were worried indeed when, last month, the district announced the layoffs of 45 of 103 BCAs, along with 16 of 275 English as a Second language (ESOl) teachers (a spokesperson for the district says seven teachers will be rehired by charter schools). These layoffs, of course, were just one of many deep cost-cutting measures announced by school officials in the wake of the slashing of education funding by Gov. Tom Corbett as well as a massive shortfall in the Philadelphia School District’s own budgeting. The now $664-million budget gap has resulted in 1,228 teacher and

1,275 staff layoffs, with more expected. But immigrant parents and advocates say eliminating these positions will disproportionately hurt schools with large immigrant student bodies — like Brown Elementary, which, principal James Douglass told City Paper, could end up without a single Vietnamese-speaking person on staff. (The school is 18 percent Vietnamese speaking.) These cuts, say the advocates, came without warning. “The district has been completely opaque about what it was planning to do,” says Helen Gym, longtime schools activist and a founder of Parents united. And they’ve left immigrant parents worried about the coming school year. The night before last week’s School Reform Commission meeting, a few Brown Elementary parents and Chau met at My Dung ly’s rowhouse near Kensington and lehigh avenues to rehearse their statements for the next day’s meeting. The walls of ly’s house are covered with photos of weddings, babies, and her in-laws’ time as “boat people” in refugee camps spanning Thailand, Malaysia and the Philippines. She came to the u.S. through the Amerasian Homecoming Act, which allows the children of Vietnamese women and American soldiers to immigrate. Children playing outside on the stoop screamed in Vietnamese and English, running through the living room to pester their parents who were practicing what they’d say in support of Chau. For the parents and kids, Chau is a conduit to the rest of the sys-

These cuts came without warning.

>>> continued on page 8

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AT-lARge, in PeRil Will state Rep. Dennis O’Brien’s middle finger to the GOP budget cost him in his race for City Council at-large? last week, O’Brien, who is from Philly, was one of only two state house republicans who didn’t vote for Gov. Tom Corbett’s budget. That’s pissed off some local right-wing voters. Until now, O’Brien looked like a shoo-in for a Council seat. In May’s primary, he was the No. 2 vote-getter among Republican at-large candidates, with David Oh being No. 1 — leading many to presume that those two would win out in November’s election. (City law stipulates that two of the seven Council at-large seats go to minority party members, which usually means republicans.) But John Featherman, who ran and lost by a slim margin in this year’s GOP mayoral primary against Karen Brown, says O’Brien’s vote changes the equation. “It’s going to weaken his candidacy, and may encourage me and other republicans to drop support for him,” Featherman says. “It’s absolutely not a Republican position to vote against Corbett’s budget.” O’Brien did not return requests for comment. But then again, O’Brien could use his vote against the budget — which critics say is especially damaging to Philly — to tout his independence from the party. Even Featherman admits, “This decision may help him with Democrats.” —holly Otterbein

The hAiR And now Who gets their hair braided in the middle of the night? lots of

people, says Dynamite Braids owner Marie Gethers, and for lots of reasons — not least among them that braiding sessions can take between six and eight hours. For some working women, there’s simply no other time to get it done. Then there’s the deep discounts Gethers offers late-night customers. And there are also more private reasons: Some ladies, she says, simply don’t want to get their hair done in front of a lot of people. A 24-hour braiding operation — 24 hours a day, seven days a week, to be exact — was Gethers’ dream and longtime goal as she worked her way from housekeeper to front desk manager at the Marriott Hotel in Center City before coming up with a business plan for the always-open Dynamite Braids. “A lot [of my bosses] said, ‘This is a joke,’” Gethers notes. “this will never work.” But Gethers’ idea eventually came to fruition, and Dynamite Braids has been at its Mayfair location offering around-the-clock service for more than a year and a half. On a recent night, SEPTA bus driver Ricki Ezume, 55, told City Paper that when she saw a Dynamite ad in the paper, “i was in shock there was an overnight salon,” and decided to come by. The salon’s success, Gethers says, is the result of her almostfanatical dedication to her business. Dynamite has become her “home away from home,” she explains. She’s even put a bed in the basement for naps during long shifts — “I don’t have a life outside this company!” she proclaims cheerfully. Despite the long hours, Gethers says she’s dedicated to the 24hour concept. “i don’t think i could go back at this point. I’ve spoiled the public.”

O’Brien looked like a shoo-in.

—emily apisa

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By Isaiah Thompson

Riddle Me This ➤ “RegaRding the 100 savage hoodlums

causing mayhem on Broad St, the Germantown bar shooting and man found dead in a car in Nicetown — what did all 3 incidents have in common?” Such was the question, word for word, posed via (anonymous) email to your own Man Overboard! following last week’s column about a spate of violence across the city that included 33 shootings and a youth mob that left innocent people hospitalized. And what answer, to this sphinx-like puzzle, did the (anonymous) riddler seek? Gee, I don’t know … that they all involved African-Americans, maybe? How did I guess? Simple: Despite the (anonymous) author’s implication that only he/she is shrewd, noble and brave enough to have connected the racial dots, in fact I get virtually the same (anonymous) email, phone message or online comment most every time something I write happens to touch on crime and/or African-Americans. Each builds to the same conclusion: that I, or “The Media,” or “My People” — in the case of those who understandably assume by my name that I’m black — are cowering from “The Truth.” And what is “The Truth”? These (anonymous) scholars never quite seem to spell out their implications. Instead, they insinuate, insinuate, insinuate that their questions have but one answer — and they’re the only ones brave enough to say so. I say they’re the only ones thick enough and blinded enough by their own prejudice to absurdly believe that Philly’s problems trace to a single race, economic class, or immigration status. There’s plenty of reason to talk about race right now. The “flash mobs” do consist almost entirely of black teenagers (also black: several women who risked injury to assist the victims of that mob). The city’s shootings and killings are concentrated in black and Hispanic neighborhoods — hardly news to the people who live there, the disproportionate victims of that violence. Are there problems within Philly’s black communities? Yes.There are problems in its white, Hispanic and Asian communities, as well. The city has a lot of problems. Violence is one of them. Hatred — and the propensity to treat fellow residents as less than human, whether by raging youth or raging comment — is another. But instead of engaging, these message-writers spew a conversation that begins and ends in one place. In anticipation of another round of rhetorical questions, Man Overboard! will pose one more his own: What do you call someone who won’t put a name behind his or her own words? Isaiah Thompson thinks we should talk. Write him at

isaiah.thompson@citypaper.net.

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tem — someone who can help guide them through the bureaucracy and help make their non-English voices heard in an English-speaking system. It’s crucial to the kids’ academic success, they say, but also their safety. “Most of the Asian kids have been bullied,� said Chau. “I am there to protect them. A lot of the parents don’t know the rules, and they will quietly go away or just let it go.� large in the minds of these parents is the December 2009 incident at South Philadelphia High in which Asian students were attacked by a group of mostly African-American students. Conflicts between immigrant and non-immigrant students have also been reported at Bok, Fels and Furness high schools, and a March 2011 report from the Philadelphia Commission on Human Relations faulted the district for “policies [that] fail to provide a clear and consistent framework for preventing and resolving intergroup conflicts,� finding that “inadequate language access — a legal right — is exacerbating the situation.� The following day, Chau ran prayer beads through her left hand as parents stood up and spoke to the School Reform Commission members, asking for Chau’s reinstatment. Schools Superintendent Arlene Ackerman, seated behind a desk with the Commission members, responded directly, telling them that it was “unfair to talk about� their schools “in isolation,� and that she was committed to addressing bilingual programs “in an equitable manner for everyone in the district.� “Bilingual assistants,� she added, sitting behind a nameplate recognizing her doctorate in education, “don’t even have to have a degree.� It was a tense moment in an already-tense relationship between Ackerman and immigrant advocates dating back to the crisis at South Philly High. (They believe Ackerman inflamed racial divisions when she blamed the violence on an attack on an African-American student that was never later substantiated.) Those divisions remain strained. When a latina woman testified at Friday’s hearing that she wanted her children to “do better,� an African-American woman in the audience muttered, “Better than anybody else?� Degree or no, the bilingual counselors’ futures may wind up being decided in a courtroom: The BCA positions were originally created as part of the settlement of a 1985 lawsuit that required schools to provide adequate translation services. Following the South Philadelphia High incident, the U.S. Department of Justice’s Civil Rights Division found that the district was “deliberately indifferent to known instances of severe and pervasive student-on-student harassment of Asian students,� prompting the district to sign a consent decree that, among other things, required adequate interpretation services for students and families involved in violent or disciplinary incidents at South Philly High. The district also told the Justice Department that it would provide

additional interpretation training to all BCAs, which it did. lucy Feria, deputy chief for the district’s Multilingual Programs, says, “We believe we will be in compliance with both of the orders.� After the hearing, Karren Dunkley, chief deputy of the district’s Office of Parent, Family, Community Engagement and Faith-Based Partnerships, told CP that immigrant groups have misconstrued the cuts: The district promises that Brown will have a Vietnamese speaker on staff next year and that the net loss of bilingual support staff system-wide will be partially offset by the creation of 27 new positions called School Improvement Support liaisons. “If you take a school like Southwark that is predominantly Spanish-speaking, they will receive a full-time Spanish

“They will quietly go away or just let it go.� liaison, supplemented with Burmese, Chinese, Indonesian and Karen BCAs,� Dunkley says. And while parents may feel attached to particular people who are losing jobs, Dunkley says, the seniority rules of union contracts dictate who gets laid off first. Whether the district’s plan really fills in the gaps created by these layoffs remains to be seen. Advocates say they have been neither consulted nor informed of the district’s new plans for non-English-speaking children. “The question,� says len Rieser, executive director of the Education law Center, the organization behind the 1985 lawsuit resulting in the BCA positions, “is now that this year’s set of staffing arrangements is getting drastically changed, will they be able to provide the services that families need and that are required?� “I don’t think they even know the answer to that right now.� (daniel.denvir@citypaper.net)

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[ lawsuits ]

glass ceiling? Another city office is accused of sexist employment practices. By Holly Otterbein

I

n 2009, the Philadelphia Prisons System was on the lookout for a new deputy commissioner, the second-highest ranking official in that department, and Harriet Spencer believed she was the woman for the job. Spencer, who is African-American, has a bachelor’s degree, a master’s in human services and a law degree from Temple. She had more than 30 years of experience in city prisons, serving in every position from corrections officer to lieutenant to her current job as executive director of the Office of Special Events/commissioner’s special assistant. Under Mayor John Street, she even ascended to the head of the city’s Office for the Reentry of Ex-Offenders. But Spencer didn’t get the job — instead, it went to Clyde Gainey, a man (also African-American) who, Spencer now says, has no degree and lacks other fundamental requirements of the job. So it occurred to Spencer: Maybe she wasn’t the right woman for the job simply because she is just that — a woman, and the city was looking for the right man for the job. This February, Spencer filed a lawsuit against the city claiming that she is a victim of gender discrimination. This lawsuit, which hasn’t been reported until now, marks the second time in the past year that a former high-ranking official has sued the city for gender discrimination. As reported in the Daily News last month, Sgt. Kimberly Byrd — who was once the top aide to former Police Commissioner Sylvester Johnson — filed a lawsuit in July 2010 claiming that she was a victim of gender dis-

crimination under current Commissioner Charles Ramsey. According to the picture laid out in Spencer’s lawsuit, sexism is alive and well within the Prisons System under Commissioner louis Giorla. And even if a court determines that she was not discriminated against due to her gender, her suit still raises questions about whether and why prison leaders seem to be rolling back reforms meant to professionalize the department. In her lawsuit, Spencer lays out a few key pieces of evidence to support her claim. She claims, for instance, that the city didn’t follow its own rules while hiring Gainey. According to the Prisons System’s documents, the “minimum acceptable training and experience” for a deputy commissioner is a graduate degree in a relevant field, or a bachelor’s degree accompanied by workplace experience. But Gainey, she says, lacks a degree of any kind. When asked to confirm or deny this, the Prisons System spokesperson, Gainey and the city’s law Department all declined comment. But in Gainey’s biography on the Prisons System website, it notes that he has “attended” St. Augustine’s College and Philadelphia Community College, but doesn’t say whether he ever obtained a degree — unlike other prisons employees, whose bios clearly spell this out. Representatives at St. Augustine’s confirmed that Gainey did not receive a degree; Philadelphia Community College wouldn’t release the information. Spencer also points out that the Prisons System never formally announced the opening of the deputy commissioner position, though she made Giorla aware of her interest. In its legal pleadings, the city admits that it never publicized the job, but makes the argument that

The city did not follow its own rules.

[ the naked city ]

it wasn’t a “civil service” position. Speaking through her lawyer, larry Woehrle, Spencer says that she should have at least been allowed to apply for the job. Adds Woehrle, “Ms. Spencer not only has a comprehensive knowledge of the Philadelphia Prisons System based on her assent through the correctional ranks, but she has three academic degrees — including a law degree — which bear directly on the position she was seeking. She was absolutely the best qualified person for the position.” As evidence, Spencer’s lawsuit claims that former Prisons Commissioner Thomas Costello “initiated Spencer’s promotion to the position of deputy commissioner based on her outstanding performance record, years of experience and educational background” — but was never able to complete it because he retired shortly thereafter. (City Paper was unable to reach Costello for comment.) Except for the scant information provided in its pleadings, the city’s side of the story is relatively unknown — and will likely remain so until October, when the case is set to go to trial. The law Department’s >>> continued on page 12

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Reforms required that deputy commissioners have graduate degrees. Jennifer Burns says, “The city will not comment on active litigation.” The Prisons System spokesperson made a similar statement, as did Gainey. Further complicating this case is the fact that Spencer also filed suit against former Prisons Commissioner leon King in 2006 — also for gender discrimination — when he didn’t promote her to deputy commissioner after Costello left. But what exactly became of the case isn’t clear. In 2007, the city entered into a confidential settlement with Spencer. Reached over the phone, King says that Spencer was not a victim of sexism under his watch, and points out that he later promoted another AfricanAmerican woman to the position of deputy commissioner. He concedes that Costello was “really pushing for [Spencer],” but says he didn’t promote her because the other deputy commissioners did not believe she was a good fit, and he “didn’t want to cause too much drama.” King won’t issue an opinion on whether Spencer is being discriminated against now, but says he thinks Giorla should have given her a shot. He’s also upset that Gainey allegedly lacks a degree. King says that

he and Costello worked hard to “professionalize the prisons” in the wake of Harris v. Reeves, a federal lawsuit filed against the city in the early 1980s for its overcrowded prisons, which resulted in several reforms — including a written requirement that deputy commissioners have graduate degrees, and wardens have bachelor’s degrees. King says that the Prisons System’s knotty problems can’t be mended without educated people at the reins; he also argues these requirements can help squash the perception that the department is an “old boy’s network.” “The Prisons System is a complex, multimillion-dollar corporation,” says King, adding that in regards to the powerful deputy commissioner position, “Where else in America can someone without a degree be in charge of hundreds of correctional officers, a $227 million budget, mental health services, capital projects, you name it?” (holly.otterbein@citypaper.net)

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No purchase necessary. Theater is overbooked to ensure a full house. Arrive early. Tickets received through this promotion do not guarantee admission. Late and/or duplicate entries will not be considered. Winners will be notified electronically. Seating is on a first-come, first-served basis, except for members of the reviewing press. No one will be admitted without a ticket or after the screening begins. This film is rated PG-13 for some sequences of intense action violence and frightening images. Must be 13 years of age or older to enter contest and attend screening. Antipiracy security will be in place at this screening. By attending, you agree to comply with all security requirements. All federal, state, and local regulations apply. Warner Bros. Pictures, Philadelphia City Paper and their affiliates accept no responsibility or liability in connection with any loss or accident incurred in connection with use of a prize. Tickets cannot be exchanged, transferred, or redeemed for cash, in whole or in part. We are not responsible for lost, delayed, or misdirected entries, phone failures, or tampering. Void where prohibited by law.

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ORIGIN STORY: What started out as a wacky travelogue ended up turning Rachel Turanski (left) and Amanda Kole into gay-rights activists.

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sonal privacy,â€? Kole says, “I feel really honored that everyone entrusted me with their stories. Being family, though, the bonus was access and an openness that perhaps even a skilled documentarian who was a stranger might not get.â€? Of course, no film centered on gay 'PS POF 8FTU 1IJMMZ DPVQMF B QFSTPOBM XFE marriage can avoid making a politiEJOH WJEFP UVSOT JOUP B QVCMJD EFDMBSBUJPO cal statement — even a film that is essentially a travelogue centered on BY SHAUN BRADY a wacky performance-art wedding Why would two young West Philly lesbians presided over by a flamboyant Iowa road trip all the way to Ames, Iowa (of all plac- viral video rapper. And while the film es), to get married? And what’s all this about doesn’t dwell on delivering a message, spandex and a Midwestern rap diva? many of the couple’s friends do wrestle Newlyweds Rachel Turanski and Amanda Kole have been attempting to explain their long, strange nuptial trip for a little more than a year now. Fortunately from now on they can just hand the curious a copy of Married in Spandex, the documentary about their experience which will première next weekend at the 17th annual Philadelphia QFest. “It’s hard to explain to somebody who does not have any inkling of who Leslie Hall is or why a woman of my size would get married in a gold lamĂŠ spandex jumpsuit,â€? says Turanski. “Now I can say, ‘Just watch this. It’ll explain everything.’â€? The doc, directed by Devin Gallagher and Allison Kole, was originally intended with the issue onscreen, and the mere fact of their having to travel from simply as a wedding video for the couple, who had planned on making their nupPhilly to Iowa speaks volumes. tials a traveling party for a few close friends. But both the ceremony and, subse“It’s a good angle to come at the quently, the film began to grow organically beyond what anyone had intended. story from,â€? says Gallagher. “You’re “The family started inviting themselves,â€? says Allison Kole, who, as maid of seeing Rachel and Amanda just doing honor and sister to one of the brides, was in a privileged position to capture the proceedings. “I realized that this was actually a unique experience we were hav- what they want. It’s definitely a pering. My sister and Rachel were discovering their stance on exercising their right sonal story with all these political and social issues swirling around them. to get married, and it created an amazing opportunity to follow them through But they just kinda want to get marthat as well as chronicling a really interesting event that other people might ried in spandex.â€? like to join in on.â€? Turanski admits that she and her Gallagher and Kole live in Washington, D.C., where he works at a public access wife have never been particularly station and media center and she campaigns for Greenpeace. The couple has colpolitical; the evolution of their thinking laborated in the past on satirical videos for the environmental organization, but is captured on camera, from something Married in Spandex is their first full-fledged production. “Since I’m a first-time filmmaker and am not used to invading people’s perof a lark — a proposal via Gchat mes-

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sage — to the dawning realization of the emotions involved both in getting married and in not being recognized as such when they returned home. “The film really allowed us to solidify our viewpoints for ourselves about why we were doing this,� she says. “It was kind of a spur-of-the-moment thing that became larger than we realized, and through the interview portion we were able to articulate how much we loved and cared for each other and to realize that we’d made the right decision. It was an eye-opening experience for both of us and I think we grew to understand our love even better because we were being asked questions that challenged it.� Having recently celebrated their first anniversary, Rachel and Amanda were reminded that while they’re legally wed back in Iowa, their home state still doesn’t grant them the rights of legal matrimony. “It blows my mind to come back to Philadelphia, in a community where there’s openly gay people everywhere, and we can’t be married here for real,� Turanski says. “But people still view us as wives and we’re legitimized in our families’ and friends’ eyes, and that’s what counts more than anything. We know that we made that commitment to each other and we honor that commitment as a marriage regardless of whether the government does.� (s_brady@citypaper.net) Married in Spandex plays Sat., July 16, 5:15 p.m., $10, Ritz at the Bourse, 400 Ranstead St., 267-765-9800, ext. 4, qfest.com.

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DOOM SERVICE: In The Innkeepers, local director Ti West’s most assured film yet, the scares are front-loaded while the characters take their time developing.

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#

The Innkeepers (Dark Sky Films), directed by Ti West, plays Sat.,

July 16, 10 p.m., $10, Ritz at the Bourse, 400 Ranstead St., 267765-9800, ext. 4, qfest.com. For more information on Danger After Dark, which runs in conjunction with QFest, July 8-18, visit dangerafterdark.com. PARTY CITY: In this week’s edition of Queer Bait, Josh Middleton rounds up QFest’s most fabulous fêtes. For the lowdown, flip to p. 29.

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pense by not cueing us where to look, share something with The Strangers and Paranormal Activity 2, West’s insistence on fleshing out his characters, even at the (temporary) expense of tightening the screws, is very much his own. The scene where Claire steps out to grab coffee from an over-sharing diner waitress (Tiny Furniture’s Lena Dunham) has nothing to do with ghosts or the supernatural, but it makes Claire more than a pawn proceeding toward a foreordained death,

Final Destination-style. Ditto Claire’s talks with Leanne Reese-Jones (Kelly McGillis), a former TV star turned crystal-toting New Age healer; their back-and-forth reveals more about Claire’s lingering insecurities than Leanne’s vague pronouncements do about the inn’s incorporeal guests. As in The House of the Devil, West builds up more than he can pay off. Once they come out from under the bed, the movie’s monsters turn out not to be so scary after all. But perhaps it’s a good thing the movie slacks off at the end. Otherwise the audience would be up all night. (s_adams@citypaper.net)

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Unless you’re a die-hard horror fan, you probably haven’t heard of Ti West, but it’s only a matter of time. Over the last six years, the Wilmington, Del., native has been gnawing at the boundaries of the genre, setting out in a different direction with five features: The Roost is a rural siege thriller in which vampire bats attack a group of wayward travelers who take shelter in an abandoned barn; Trigger Man is an art-horror, rough-hewn account of hunting buddies who become the target of an unseen sniper. Last year’s The House of the Devil was a deliberate throwback to the “Satanic panic� (and goofy hairstyles) of the 1980s, with an unsuspecting baby sitter drawn into the plans of a demonic cabal. It also featured one of the greatest deaths in recent memory, which even now I’m loath to spoil. Essentially a chamber piece in which two desk clerks ride out the last weekend in a mammoth New England hotel, The Innkeepers is West’s most assured film yet, a slow-burning creeper that pays off in spades. With only a handful of guests and one of the Yankee Pedlar’s floors already stripped bare, pixie-cut Claire (Sara Paxton) and hipster-goof Luke (Pat Healy) have ample time to play amateur ghost hunters, seeking out the spirit of a suicidal woman whose body was hidden in the basement by the inn’s press-shy owners. It takes a while for even these bare facts to emerge, and longer still before the spirit’s presence is more than a faint whisper on the pair’s sound recorder. But West, unlike most whammy-driven horror filmmakers, isn’t afraid to take his time, building character and mood before pulling back the curtain. As if to placate, or razz, those expecting early jolts, West front-loads the movie with jump scares. Luke demonstrates one early on, planting Claire in front of his laptop to watch a moody, black-and-white clip of a solitary rocking chair. “Watch closely,� he tells her, as she strains to see evidence of the paranormal, perhaps a hint of movement or a wisp of white. The camera pushes in and the sound goes quiet as

we hold our breath, and then WHAM! a pale-faced child jumps, snarling, at the lens, and the audience’s collective heartbeat doubles. If that dark-eyed kid resembles the exsanguinated J-horror tots who were all the rage a few years back, it’s no accident. West is acutely aware of the way his chosen genre is trending, and just as determined to head in the opposite direction. If the film’s pregnant wide shots, which crank up the sus-

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resubtitled to the horror of right-thinking people everywhere. The opening scene, in which Gßnter Meisner strings up a naked boy in an abandoned building and beats him to death with a two-by-four, is merely an amusebouche for the twisted tale that follows. After Meisner is paralyzed in a fall, he unwillingly gains an accomplice in slim, dark-eyed David Sust, a witness to Meisner’s recent crimes and a student My Last Round Circumstance

5)& -(#5 26&6& (FU JO MJOF GPS 2'FTU¤T CSJHIUFTU BOE CBMMTJFTU CIRCUMSTANCE | B

Persian-American Maryam Keshavarz makes her feature debut with the story of two young Tehranian women struggling against social norms. As it often does, teenage rebellion bleeds into (counter-)revolution; the two go from hanging out at illegal parties to helping a friend dub Milk into Farsi. Along the way, their friendship starts to turn passionate, but an elder brother, once a drug addict and now a member of the city’s “morality police,� develops an unhealthy obsession with their relationship, using clandestine cameras to spy on them. Apart from some metaplay with those multiple screens, Keshavarz’s solid, unfussy craftsmanship lets the story come to the fore, making intriguing if rarely thrilling results. —Sam Adams (7/15, 7 p.m., RE)

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Those big-city Yankee elites can have their Barbra Streisand — in the South, the drag diva of choice is Dolly Parton. Twins Gary and Larry Lane, who made a minor name for themselves on Fear Factor, are Tinseltown strivers who set out in an RV to crash Dollywood’s 25th anniversary party and get their mammoth chick-flick script into the country icon’s hands. But the film becomes more about another journey: the one the twins made coming out in small-town North Carolina. Similar stories are broached along the way, making this a poignant picture of family acceptance (and lack thereof). —Shaun Brady (7/9, 2:30 p.m.; 7/11, 5 p.m.; RE) HOMO@LV | B-

You could be forgiven for not even realizing that there was a gay rights struggle happening in Latvia, but Kaspars Goba’s revealing doc finds a particularly intense battle under way. When activists organized the first Riga Pride parade in 2005, the City Council’s offhand reaction was, “Sure, what route do you want?� A spontaneous, virulent protest arose, however, forcing the marchers to find sanctuary in a church and sparking a polarizing debate involving church, state and human rights (including a pair of interfering evangelicals from the good ol’ U.S. of A.). —Shaun Brady (7/17, 12:15 p.m., RB) IN A GLASS CAGE | B+

Cross El Topo and Apt Pupil and you’ll be halfway to envisioning Agustí Villaronga’s warped feature, first released in 1987, disinterred, restored and

of his past horrors. As a concentration camp doctor, Meisner experimented on children; now he becomes the subject of a clinical trial, as Sust subjects his iron lung-bound charge to increasing mental torture, occasionally unplugging the machine just to watch Meisner gasp for air. Villaronga’s equation of moral depredation and (supposed) sexual perversion is more tiresome than offensive, although it’s especially out of place given Danger After Dark’s strange bedfellow. Still, it’s as creepy as they come, leaving a lingering chill that only time can warm. —Sam Adams (7/15, 9:30 p.m., RB) MANGUS! | C-

The fact that John Waters makes a cameo appearance — playing a tetchy Jesus — should tell you everything you need to know about Ash Christian’s sophomore effort. A particularly lazy brand of intentional camp, Mangus! tells the story of a wheelchair-bound teen’s dream to play the lead role in his school’s copyright-dodging musical, Jesus Christ Spectacular. Lots of cheap targets (trailer park trash, Clay Aiken) are broached and shrugged off, all to focus on a self-absorbed hero who learns nothing over the course of an aimless 80 minutes. —Shaun Brady (7/15, 7:15 p.m.; 7/17, 2:45 p.m.; RE) MY LAST ROUND | B-

This striking Chilean drama concerns Octavio (Roberto Farias), a beefy

boxer with epilepsy who falls hard for handsome non-athlete Hugo (Hector Morales). While Hugo resists Octavio’s initial kisses in the rain, soon the lovers move to the city and cohabitate. While nothing explicit is said — or shown — there’s plenty of intensity and grit in this probing character study. Even without a strong emotional punch, My Last Round achieves palpable intimacy. —Gary M. Kramer (7/13, 7:15 p.m.; 7/16, noon; RE) THIS IS WHAT LOVE IN ACTION LOOKS LIKE | B-

Morgan Jon Fox’s documentary focuses on Zach Stark, a gay Memphis teen who at age 16 was sent by his parents to Refuge, a camp run by “ex-gay� ministry Love in Action where fundamentalist Christians drill young queers in the finer points of acting and, theoretically, being straight. Their methods, which came to light in 2005 when Stark posted a list of camp rules on his MySpace page, would be comical were their results not potentially toxic: No touching, no eye contact, instruction in auto mechanics and batting practice (the last two only for boys, natch). Fox’s

/PUIJOH FYQMJDJU JT TBJE CVU UIF JOUJNBDZ JT QBMQBCMF technical skills are rudimentary, and despite an even-handed interview with former Love in Action director John Smid, the mind-set that allows parents to ship their kids to self-denial summer camp remains opaque. Luckily, the subject is fascinating enough to do most of the heavy lifting all by itself. —Sam Adams (7/9, 5:15 p.m., RB; 7/13, 5 p.m., RE)

5*$,&54 The 17th annual Philadelphia QFest runs July 7-18. Single tickets to regular screenings are $10; for info, call 267-765-9800, ext. 4, or visit qfest.com. All reviewed films are being screened at Ritz East, 125 S. Second St. (RE), or Ritz Bourse, 400 Ranstead St. (RB).

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artsmusicmoviesmayhem

icepack By A.D. Amorosi

➤ Summer never truly starts until The

Roots leave the Welcome America stage and QFest hits the streets for a gay old time. So a word from mouthpiece Thom Cardwell regarding July 8-18’s Q/Danger After Dark film fest: “In terms of talent, I believe that this year breaks our own record with more than 100 filmmakers, actors, producers, editors, screenwriters, distributors, from as close as New Jersey and New York City and as far away as Paris and Hong Kong.” One of those visitors is Sean Paul Lockhart, who gets his Rising Star Award preceding the shorts program at the Ritz East July 8. “Forget that Lockhart began his career in the gay adult industry and pay attention to his acting ability in two films screened at QFest 2011, Judas Kiss and I Was a Teenage Werebear,” says Caldwell, who mentions that Lockhart also appeared in Milk and The Big Gay Musical. ➤ Shank’s moved from my block two years ago, and they took their tripe with them to 15th Street off Sansom. No hard feelings. Except now I hear they’re looking for more space (the new joint is tiny, less than 1,000 square feet) and are closing in a few weeks. Why close though if all you’re looking for is more room? Hmm. ➤ Jazz-bo bassist Alex Claffy leads his post-bop group through the paces at Chris’ Jazz Café July 8. Speaking of jazz, Four Corners’ Avram Hornik and Mark Fichera took over Ortlieb’s Jazzhaus and will reopen the hallowed NoLibs hall as soon as the Pete Souders-held liquor license transfers. ➤ Endemol Productions out of Hoboken is getting ready for its Jerseylicious spinoff with co-star Alexa Prisco. The equally ’licious program, Glam Fairy, is currently looking for makeover mopes willing to be shown on the Style Network. We’re hearing first episodes might leak in August. ➤ Luca Sena, John Poulos and Dominic Episcopo’s “Snow White” Revolution House on Second and Market pre-popped its top for dinner before July’s First Friday and will hold its official opening party July 13. ➤ Author/provocateur CAConrad was just awarded a $60,000 Pew grant for poetry and is busting out all over with the privilege. “I was nominated, then I applied, and then I won which was great because I was on the verge of being evicted,” laughs Conrad. What’s he going to do with that wad? “Live. And write.” ➤ Kung Fu Necktie welcomes two nights of A.D.’s Philly faves this week: the danz-psych of Pointcloud with local Krautrockers Music for Headphones and Speed Skating (July 8), and the rangy raging Mose Giganticus who’ll be out of town until November after their July 13 gig. ➤ Want some more Ice at a nice price? Then you want Ice Illustrated at citypaper.net/criticalmass. (a_amorosi@citypaper.net)

PLAY ON, PLAYER: Jacqueline Goldfinger’s new Slip/Shot will première at Flashpoint Theatre Co. next spring.

[ theater ]

Hit Me WitH Your Best sHot PlayPenn gives local playwrights the tools to build (and rebuild). By Mark Cofta

N

ew-play development, says Philadelphia playwright Jacqueline Goldfinger, “is one of those crazy things, with a million permutations.” The trick, she explains, is finding what works. “For me, having everyone in the room not focused on anything else but my play is terrific.” PlayPenn, actor-director Paul Meshejian’s annual new-play conference, suits Goldfinger perfectly. Her play Slip/Shot is one of six receiving a professional director, dramaturg and cast; rehearsals of the works-in-progress begin July 8, and the whole process culminates in free public script-in-hand performances a couple of weeks later. The Tallahassee, Fla., native, who settled here with her husband three years ago, says the writing of Slip/Shot started in an InterAct Theatre Co. playwriting forum organized by local director Rebecca Wright. The play — about an accidental shooting and how it affects the families of both victim and perpetrator — soon took on a life of its own: It was showcased in New york’s National Newborn Festival, then received a reading last summer at actor Benjamin lloyd’s White Pines Productions at Elkins Estate. That’s where Ed Sobel, the Arden Theatre Co. associate artistic direc-

tor who’ll take over the directing reins for its PlayPenn reading, came aboard. On June 2, Slip/Shot was read in New york City as a finalist in Reverie Productions’ eighth annual Next Generation Playwriting Contest. Most importantly, Slip/Shot’s première is already scheduled: Philadelphia’s Flashpoint Theatre Co. will produce it in April/May 2012, and Wright will direct. “It’s wonderful to develop this play in my community, in my home, and then to première it here, too,” says Goldfinger, who’s become a fixture in Philadelphia theater through work with a variety of companies as well as teaching playwriting at the university of the Arts. “A lot of playwrights, directors, designers and actors live out of a suitcase,” she says. “One of the reasons I love living here is that I can go from first draft to opening right here.” She’s done it before, with Azuka Theatre’s acclaimed production of the terrible girls in March. “We worked with the same actors in the development process, so they all came in on the same page, knowing what we’ve tried, what worked and what didn’t, and all heading toward the same focus,” Goldfinger says. “you need a place where you feel safe to experiment, to throw things up against the wall and be really bad sometimes.” PlayPenn affords that opportunity with a relatively lengthy 29 hours of rehearsal and rewriting over two weeks (some full productions don’t rehearse that long) and actors whom Goldfinger understandably gush about: terrible girls star Amanda Schoonover

“You need a place where you feel safe to experiment.”

>>> continued on page 20

the naked city | feature

[ the beast is redundant ] ➤ rock/pop

Americana with something for everybody — that’s the Wilders’ m.o. Want old-time fiddle tunes complete with drop thumb banjo accompaniment? Resident fiddler Betse Ellis has composed several irresistible dancers on the new self-titled album (Free Dirt). Segue from hard-core Appalachian to hard-core vocals on “l.A.,” with words and attitude by guitarist/vocalist Ike Sheldon. Dobro player Phil Wade wrote a dandy acoustic honky-tonk song, “She Says (I Say),” but left the singing to Sheldon. Bass player Nate Gawron contributes thoughtful lyrics, as well, in the best reflective —Mary armstrong Americana tradition.

There’s a gentle robo-disco/Cornershop vibe to eleanor Friedberger’s solo debut, Last Summer (Merge): catchy, a little futuristic, occasionally mesmeric and exotic in a way that’s hard to place. As the singer-guitarist of Brooklyn’s Fiery Furnaces, she’s proven her skill for peppy, churning guitar pop songs, and there’s plenty of that here, but it’s those light-tech touches that send the album into orbit. Friedberger plays Monday at Kung Fu Necktie (July 11, kungfunecktie.com). —Patrick rapa

Scared Straight

➤ soul/r&b Jill Scott’s been through a ton since her last

➤ bluegrass There are only seven songs on the Grascals’ new Dance Til Your Stockings are Hot and Ravelin’ — a Time life EP celebrating the 50th anniversary of homespun TV favorite The Andy Griffith Show — but the bluegrass is as old-school and tight as it gets. Are these guys better than the original Dillards, who appeared on the show as the Darlings? Maybe. Plus the Grascals’ swingy little commercial for their sponsor, Mayberry’s Finest Foods, is a newish composition inspired by the show and right in line with those classic radio jingles that made early country music live broadcasts possible. —Mary armstrong

flickpick

shelflife Justin Bauer, under the covers

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➤ old-time/americana

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[ disc-o-scope ]

studio album, and her latest, The Light of the Sun (Blues Babe), finds her in the mood to gab about it. Opening track “Blessed” is a jazzy improvised proclamation of gratitude for her new son. She gives the baby daddy who got away an earful on sassy don’t-let-thedoor-hit-ya anthem “Shame.” And standout track “So in love,” a duet with Anthony Hamilton, is new-school TSOP at its finest, verifying that, even as a burgeoning movie queen and record label mogul, Jilly from Philly still has an ear turned toward home. —Josh Middleton

[ movie review ]

Vincent WantS to Sea [ C- ] DeTracTorS oF, say, Wong Kar-Wai like to argue that his floridly roman-

The characters reconcile because the genre demands it.

Vincent Wants to Sea (Vincent will Meer) opens Friday at Ritz at the Bourse.

>>> continued on page 20

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LANGUAGE BARRIER: This moronically quirky film, about nut-house escapees who drive a stolen car to Italy with a jar of ashes, doesn’t win palatability points for being in German.

Earth and the narrator of Glen Duncan’s The Last Werewolf (Knopf, July 12), wants to make sure you have the correct impression of his species. He’s anxious to debunk all of the incorrect notions of lycanthropy left over from myth and legend and double-feature moviemaking, to the point of becoming a bit of a tic. Considering his status as an evolutionary dead end, though, his anxiety is understandable. After all, as one minor character points out, werewolves are a touch outdated: “In ages past the beast in man was hidden in the dark, disavowed. The transparency of modern history makes that impossible: We’ve seen ourselves in the concentration camps, the gulags, the jungles, the killing fields … the beast is redundant. It’s been us all along.” In the world where Jacob Marlowe is imaginary, werewolves are doing better than ever; more baby boys for the past two years have been given the same name as a fictional werewolf than any other name, and Duncan (with 2002’s I Lucifer) already belongs to the ranks of authors highbrow (Justin Cronin, vampires) and protean (self-publishing success Amanda Hocking, trolls) who have experimented with the otherworldly. But Duncan’s best work — like the excellent A Day and a Night and a Day — comes out of the tradition of the Novel of Ideas, rather than from genre fiction. Because he’s not a native to genre writing or to horror specifically, it’s no surprise that Duncan tries to reinvent the werewolf book through Jacob’s witty, self-aware narration.What’s surprising is how much more engaging and enjoyable Jacob becomes once the plot forces him into the comfortable, conventional role of hunted monster, rather than languid philosophical wit. That Werewolf is more successful when it becomes more conventional is an issue of balance. Rather than blow up the form and start over — like Toby Barlow did in the incredible blank-verse werewolf story Sharp Teeth — Jacob’s voice gives a new gloss to an old form.

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tic dialogue gets a pass from viewers who’d balk if it were spoken in their native tongue. But it turns out that It’s Kind of a Funny Story’s moronically quirky take on mental illness is no more palatable when it’s in subtitled German. Florian David Fitz plays Vincent, a politician’s son with Tourette’s syndrome who is institutionalized after his mother’s death. First, however, there’s a clunker scene where Vincent disrupts his mother’s funeral by shouting obscenities to horrified onlookers who seem altogether unaware of his condition. Vincent’s nut-house roomie is an obsessive compulsive (Johannes Allmayer) fond of classical music and miniature models — in short, an off-the-shelf caricature betraying a lack of both imagination and research. Karin Thaler’s anorexic is no better developed, serving mainly as love interest and sounding board, especially once the makeshift trio hits the road in a doctor’s stolen car. As Vincent and co. make their way to Italy with an aim of scattering his mother’s ashes, his dad and psychiatrist (Katharina Müller-Elmau) follow suit, finding even less in common than the people they’re pursuing. Predictably, outer shells soften and tentative accords are reached over the long haul, but Fitz’s screenplay (his first) provides only rapprochement by fiat: The characters reconcile because the script, and the genre, demand it. There’s hugging and learning, but little insight or memorable detail, and the showboat role Fitz has written himself doesn’t do him any favors, either. —Sam Adams

➤ Jacob Marlowe, the last werewolf on

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Do you or does someone you know suffer from Schizophrenia?

Scared Straight

<<< continued from page 19

Nickle sits squarely in the land of things that go bump in the night.

Belmont Center for Comprehensive Treatment is conducting an investigational research study. You must be between the ages of 18 and 64 and have a diagnosis of schizophrenia. You are currently taking one of the following medications: •Risperidone •Olanzapine •Aripioazole Qualified participants receive study-related care, exams and study medication at no cost. For more information, please contact our Clinical Trial Recruiters, Vincent Davis or Ada Wilson

215-581-3900

(All calls are confidential)

Belmont Center for Comprehensive Treatment

4200 Monument Road, Philadelphia, PA 19131

Just minutes from Philadelphia Mon-Fri: 10am – 8pm Saturday: 9am – 5pm Sunday: CLOSED

The creepy vintage photographs scattered throughout Ransom Riggs’ Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children (Quirk, June 7) provide a similar kind of gloss. Taken with its Gothic tone, and its teenage protagonist out to find the truth behind his dead grandfather’s outlandish stories, the illustrations all but assure that the book will be read as, and marketed as, a YA novel. That’s not the worst thing. Miss Peregrine is a beautifully produced book, and there’s an excellent chance that it’ll get a broader readership out of a YA marketing plan than as an oddball, hard-to-categorize literary novel. And even if the YA label no longer excuses sketchy character development, or the way certain scenes sometimes expose their source photographs as writing prompts, Riggs still loads a sure-footed boy’s-book adventure with clear, nuanced negotiation of metaphors and monsters, especially as our hero understands first that his grandfather’s fairy tales are stand-ins for his Holocaust childhood, and then, more frighteningly, that they might not be fictions at all. Ultimately, it’s that ability to provoke a gut reaction that determines the success of something like Miss Peregrine or David Nickle’s historical chiller Eutopia (ChiZine, April 15). If smart, innovative horror is nice, it still has to strike at the base of the skull. That’s a dumb thrill, not in the sense that it’s cheap or easy to produce, but rather in that the stories that provide the least complicated route to the pit of the stomach are the

[ arts & entertainment ]

ones that work the best. Intellectual weight and artistic polish are important things, but not necessary conditions; they’re window dressing, a strategy to make you feel better about that adolescent kick of fear. Nickle does his share of window dressing. Eutopia takes place in a Western model frontier town in 1911 dedicated to eugenic idealism, and pulls together some reasonably spooky historical ideas about race and human perfectibility. As much as Nickle incorporates a lot of interesting, smart background stuff, he remains squarely in the land of things that go bump in the night. Eutopia hails less from the territory of Stephen King, sticking more to the neighborhood of some of those early-’70s sinister-village stories, like Thomas Tryon’s Harvest Home, or the good parts of The Wicker Man. Even if Nickle leaves some clumsy dialogue and bald-faced exposition in the foreground, the concoction of history, science, religion and prejudice that fuels his novel doesn’t overwhelm its dumb thrills. Nickle knows that horror needs to strike at nerve endings and not get too cerebral; Eutopia does that by getting out of its own way. (j_bauer@citypaper.net)

Hit Me With Your Best Shot <<< continued from page 18

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“Playwrights compete with all the plays ever written — by people living and dead.” plus James Ijames, Evan Jonigkeit, Aubie Merrylees, Jasmine St. Clair, Cathy Simpson and Bill Zielinski. Allowed one designer in a discipline of her choice — whatever’s most important to the play’s development — Goldfinger picked sound designer Rob Kaplowitz. PlayPenn’s development process starts with setting goals. “You have to know what the strengths and weaknesses are, going into rehearsals,” Goldfinger explains. “It’s hard to make myself set goals, though, because I can get wishy-washy.” Case in point: “One of my challenges as a thirtysomething woman is writing characters both significantly younger than me and older than me,” she says. “I get the younger, I think, but I’m not sure about the older, like a 60-year-old woman. I’m not sure I have her voice yet, or her emotional arc.” In PlayPenn’s seven seasons, Meshejian reports, they’ve helped develop 42 plays, 26 of which have received 77 productions across the country and the world. PlayPenn 2011 also features American Wee-Pie by Lisa Dillman, Nerine by Brian Quirk, A Man, a Wife and His Hat by Lauren Yee, Another Girl by John Yearley, and Stefanie Zadravec’s The

Electric Baby, employing a total of 43 actors as well as directors, dramaturgs and designers for each play. Goldfinger’s work continues here at home with Hershel & the Hanukkah Goblins, an adaptation commissioned by Gas & Electric Arts, in December, and her adaptation of Little Women at the University of the Arts next May, as well as development of another new work, Skin & Bone, with Azuka. “Local playwrights get produced less than local actors and directors work,” Goldfinger admits, “but playwrights compete with all the plays ever written, by people living and dead. Theaters can’t always import famous directors or actors, but they can always choose a famous play” instead of a new one. PlayPenn and Jacqueline Goldfinger hope to change that. (m_cofta@citypaper.net) PlayPenn, July 18-24, free (reservations

recommended), Adrienne Theatre, 2030 Sansom St., 215-253-8838, playpenn.org.

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A Philly Kind Of Love

PAT’S KING OF STEAKS

9th & Passyunk Ave.

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movie

shorts

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Films are graded by City PaPer critics a-F.

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Horrible Bosses

New Horrible bosses Read Sam Adams’ review at citypaper.net/movies. (Roxy, UA Riverview)

ViNceNt waNts to sea|CRead Sam Adams’ review on p. 19. (Ritz at the Bourse)

Read Cindy Fuchs’ review at citypaper.net/movies. (UA 69th St., UA Riverview)

coNtiNuiNg bad teacHer|BA lowbrow, lowballing comedy whose characters are dead from the neck up, Bad Teacher is lazily written and indifferently directed, but it’s still a fitfully engaging showcase for a handful of razor-sharp comic talents. As an unrepentant gold digger saving up for a pair of fake tits, Cameron Diaz flaunts her lack of redeeming qualities, showing her seventh-grade students Dangerous Minds while she sleeps off a hangover at her desk. The movie is full of discarded plot threads and half-sketched characters, which is actually more offensive than its scattering of scatalogical jokes, but you’d have to have a strong will to resist the sight of Cameron Diaz jamming a corn dog into the mouth of a mustard bottle and tearing off a blissfully unhealthy bite. —Sam Adams

begiNNers|BMike Mills’ semi-autobiographical follow-up to Thumb-

buck|B+ Clinics with Buck Brannaman end up teaching surprising lessons. “Rather than helping people with horse problems,” he says, “I’m helping horses with people problems.” The inspiration for The Horse Whisperer, the subject of this doc reveals he has his own set of issues. While his clients extol his wisdom, Brannaman sometimes chastises them for not being self-aware, as he’s been forced to be. When he scolds a woman for her carelessness with her horses, the film makes clear his stakes: He’s finding and saving victims. In so doing, he’s saving himself. —Cindy Fuchs (Ritz Five)

cars 2|B Turning out a sequel to its worst movie might not be the best way for Pixar to celebrate its silver anniversary. But Cars’ second lap wisely trades the tepid Americana of the first go-round for a tangier takeoff on globe-hopping spy adventures. In some ways, the Cars movies are Pixar’s most culturally savvy, replete with automotive versions of reallife figures. But they’re also its laziest, letting cheap puns sub for real jokes. —S.A.

ACHER” E T D A B “ Z A I D M E R O N N D J A S O N S EG E L A C N O I T C U D O R P C S A I M I C H A E L H I G G I N S A WS O M A S T N E ES R P RES DRE HN COLUMBIA PTIICMTUBERLAKE LUCY PUNCH JTOOM WOLFE MUSICBY MICHAEGL AGNENE STUPNITSKY JUSTIN VISMIOUNSICBY MANISH RAVAL KASDAN LEE EISENBER DAVID HOUSEHOLTER SUPER AKE PRODUCEDBY JIMMY MILLER J S E D N A C A E K V TI U A I EXEC GEORG ENBERG S I E PRODUCERS E E L & Y K S T I WRITTENY GENE STUPN B DIRECTEBDY JAKE KASDAN check local listings for theaters and showtimes

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Zookeeper

sucker is really two films in one: a touchingly offbeat fatherson drama and a cloyingly precious love story. Both center around Ewan McGregor, whose character becomes involved with actress Mélanie laurent around the same time he loses his father (Christopher Plummer) to cancer. Their late-life relationship is played out in flashback, narrated by McGregor with sub-Wes Anderson fillips, recounting how his father came out six months after his mother’s death. Plummer and McGregor pull off their eccentric relationship with a chemistry that’s wholly absent from the forcibly quirky romance. —Shaun Brady (Ritz Five)

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feature | the naked city a&e classifieds | food | the agenda

Green Lantern|C The most CGI-heavy non-animated feature to come down the pike since 300, Green Lantern often feels forced and phony, especially when considering Ryan Reynolds’ entire costume was basically dialed up in Photoshop. A few fun action sequences and Reynolds’ comedic timing saves the movie from becoming total rubbish-bin fodder, but it’s by and large another languid superhero flick done in by overambition. —Drew Lazor

way) sequel, which sees the crew flying to Thailand for the wedding of Stu and his fiancée, Lauren (Ed Helms and Jamie Chung), is only a slightly tweaked version of the 2009 original. Swap Vegas for Bangkok. Add a nicotine-addicted monkey and Paul Giamatti. Is it safe and lazy? Absolutely, but we should be thankful that Todd Phillips didn’t cave to the natural pressure to go all New Coke on a simple formula that begets surefire results. —D.L.

the hanGover Part II|B

Larry Crowne

Yep, this loud, shortsighted and satisfying (in a Snickers bar kinda

Read Sam Adams’ review at citypaper. net/movies.

MIdnIGht In ParIs|B+ No filmmaker has been so self-aware and yet so trapped by his own neuroses as Woody Allen. Midnight in Paris is his

PaGe one|B-

latest auto-diagnosis, recognizing his chronic discontent and romanticization of an ideal other time, other place. That would be 1920s Paris, which screenwriter Gil (Owen Wilson) pines for as his own gilded age. Despite his role as chronicler of modern intellectual life, Allen has never shied away from leavening his films with fantasy, and the latest iteration results in his best film in recent memory, light and amiable but honestly funny. —S.B. (Ritz Five)

Monte CarLo A haiku: Hey Plain Jane loser, you resemble some celeb! Blah blah blah. The End. (Not reviewed)

Mr. PoPPer’s PenGuIns|B

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If you’ve read the classic kids’ book, don’t expect a faithful adaptation. Jim Carrey plays a modern Mr. Popper, who spends too much time with his work and too little with his family. What’s less standard is his approach to solving the problem, which involves an intimate relationship with a bunch of Antarctic fowl. The penguins are delivered as an unexpected gift and,

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of course, chaos ensues. Carla Gugino, Angela Lansbury and the rest of the cast are effective, and despite an overdose of penguin poop jokes, the script is remarkably witty. Just not quite witty enough to warrant seeing without kids in tow. —Matt Cantor

Andrew Rossi spent a year inside The New York Times and emerged with a sporadically engaging but largely flaccid portrait of journalism done right. Rossi’s decision to focus on the Times’ media desk, particularly the slobby, scratchy-voiced and irresistible reporter David Carr, should put the film in the thick of the changes roiling the industry, but instead he opts for the far less enlightening tack of showering hosannas on the paper’s coverage, which is a little like pointing out that, hey, the Yankees are a pretty good team. —S.A. (Ritz Five)

PIrates of the CarIbbean: on stranGer tIdes|CThe fourth installment in the PotC franchise is essentially a reboot of the squeaky-clean Disney trilogy built (shakily) around the contributions of the departed Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley. But new-to-Pirates director Rob Marshall somehow manages to play it safe and overcomplicate matters at the same time, relying so heavily on the safe charms of Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) that the rest of the 3-D production comes off as a disjointed rattling-off of “maybe we could do this?” ideas. —D.L.

suPer 8|C+ Despite its hush-hush advance

[ movie shorts ]

publicity, J.J. Abrams’ third feature is only incidentally a monster movie. He ushers his characters through pro forma rites of passage, but the movie’s sentiment feels stock and insincere, a knockoff of producer Steven Spielberg’s lesser efforts. Super 8 offsets the gooey stuff with a few trumped-up action sequences, but when the clangor dies down, there’s nothing worth listening to. —S.A.

transforMers: dark of the Moon|D Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBeouf) hunts for his first job in D.C., with his Autobot buddies like Optimus Prime and Bumblebee doing contract work for the government. Soon, it’s revealed that the Space Race was a competition to see who would be the first to investigate a precious-cargo-carrying

Cybertron spaceship that crash-landed on the lunar surface. The mechanized war that ensues would forgive all the preceding idiocy if they actually focused on the Transformers kicking the crap out of each other for once, but vast expanses of this 155-minute supposed shock-and-awe fest are instead dedicated to pointless plot “development” and Michael Bay’s signature “funny ’cause they’re minorities!” bit characters. —D.L.

the tree of LIfe|A-

COLUMBIA PICTURES AND METRO-GOLDWYN-MAYER PICTURES PRESENT A BROKENMUSICROAD/HEY EDDIE/HAPPY MADISON PRODUCTION MUSIC KEVI N JAMES “ Z OOKEEPER” ROSARI O DAWSON SUPERVISION BY MICHAEL DILBECK BY RUPERT GREGSON-WILLIAMS EXECUTIVE PRODUCED PRODUCERS BARRYBERNARDI JEFF SUSSMAN CHARLES NEWIRTH JENNIFER EATZ BY TODD GARNER KEVIN JAMES ADAM SANDLER JACK GIARRAPUTO WALT BECKER STORY SCREENPLAY DIRECTED BY JAY SCHERICK & DAVID RONN BY NICK BAKAY & ROCK REUBEN & KEVIN JAMES AND JAY SCHERICK & DAVID RONN BY FRANK CORACI A FILM BY FRANK CORACI

CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS FOR THEATERS AND SHOWTIMES

Terrence Malick’s phenomenal, phenomenological The Tree of Life tells the story of Jack, whose father (Brad Pitt) drills his three sons ceaselessly on his version of proper behavior. His wife (Jessica Chastain) is a less defined presence, powerfully emotive but hazily sketched. The opening narration lays out a struggle between the principles of grace (formative, forgiving, divine) and nature (earthly, destructive), attributes which sync loosely with the parents themselves. Malick’s reach extends far beyond the confines of time and place, to the edges of the universe and the dawn of life. There hasn’t been anything like The Tree of Life in years, and until Malick makes another movie, there won’t be. —S.A. (Ritz Five)

The first time a huge, snorting, ugly troll comes barreling out of the forest in TrollHunter, it’s startling. The thing

awesoMe FesT

X-Men: FirsT Class|C-

grumpy alcoholic finally musters up the energy to tackle the 12-Step program’s eighth and ninth tasks — which includes making amends with those he’s wronged. Sun., July 10, 7:30 p.m., free.

The BalCony

inDie FilM series

1003 Arch St., 215-922-6888, thetroc. com. Sucker Punch (2011, u.S., 110 min.): Wrongly placed in a mental institution by her abusive father, a young girl slips into an alternate universe where she breaks free and kicks daddy’s ass. Mon., July 11, 8 p.m., $3.

Headhouse Square, Second between Pine and Lombard streets, 215-6257988, southstreet.com. Blender Animated Shorts,Wed., July 13, 8 p.m., free.

Piazza at Schmidts, Second and Hancock streets, theawesomefest.com. Despicable Dick and Righteous Richard (2011, u.S., 79 min.): A

reperTory FilM aMBler TheaTer

BloBFesT 2011 Colonial Theater, 227 Bridge St., Phoenixville, 610-917-1228, thecolonialtheatre.com. The Blob, which was partially filmed in the Philadelphia area, will be screened all weekend with other sci-fi favorites from the 1950s. Sat.-Sun., July 9-10, various times, $10.

CounTy TheaTer 20 E. State St., Doylestown, 215-3456789, countytheater.org. A Star is Born (1954, u.S., 181 min.): Judy Garland plays a starlet who rises to fame thanks to an aging, alcoholic movie star who, at the same time, watches his own career spiral out of control. Tue., July 12, 7 p.m., $9.75. Fight Club See Ambler Theater listing for details. Wed., July 13, 7 p.m., $9.75.

SHAWN EDWARDS, FOX-TV

MIA GRADNEY, THE CW

MARK S. ALLEN, CBS-TV

BONNIE LAUF

MTV NEWS

ER, TRIBUTE EN

TERTAINMENT

FrienDs oF The philaDelphia CiTy insTiTuTe liBrary Free Library, Philadelphia City Institute Branch, 1905 Locust St., 215-6856621, freelibrary.org. True Grit (1969, u.S., 128 min.): John Wayne won his only Academy Award playing Rooster Cogburn in the original version of this recently readapted film. Wed., July 13, 2 p.m., free.

seCreT CineMa Institute of Contemporary Art, 118 S. 36th St., 215-898-7108, thesecretcinema.com. Summer Means Fun Favorite summer pastimes are highlighted in a variety of film styles — from newsreels and educational films to cartoons and comic shorts. Wed., July 13, 9 p.m., $7.

wooDen shoe 704 South St., 215-413-0999, woodenshoebooks.com. I Am Curious (Yellow) (1967, u.S., 121 min.): Wanting to discover all she can about life, a 20-year-old creates an archive of collectibles she has taken from those around her. Sun., July 10, 7 p.m., free.

DoCk sTreeT Brewery & resTauranT 701 S. 50th St., 215-726-2337, dockstreetbeer.com. Back to the Future (1985, u.S., 116 min.): “If my calculations are correct, when this baby hits 88 miles per hour you’re gonna see some serious shit.� Tue., July 12, 7 p.m., free.

More on:

citypaper.net For Full movie reviews and showtimes, visit c i t y pa p e r . n e t / m o v i e s .

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108 E. Butler Ave., Ambler, 215345-7855, amblertheater.org. Rear Window (1954, u.S., 112 min.): In this Hitchcock classic, Jimmy Stewart

824 W. Lancaster Ave., Bryn Mawr, 610-527-9898, brynmawrfilm.org. Shadow of a Doubt (1943, u.S., 108 min.): After admiring her uncle Charlie all her life, a young lady discovers he is a nutcase. Tue., July 12, 7 p.m., $10. It Came from Outer Space (1953, u.S., 81 min.): A stargazer suspects alien foul play when a spaceship crashes in his small Arizona town. Wed., July 13, 7 p.m., $10.

++++

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The polished action that bolsters Matthew Vaughn’s prequel treatment of the X-Men franchise can’t make up for its insincere handling of both history and nostalgia. The early-’60s Cold War setting does hew to the early days of the X-Men comics, but this isn’t a straight origin story so much as an excuse to roll out a bunch of young, apropos-of-nothing characters with little to do and less to say (Degrassi style!). Vaughn lazily stews the signature personal-identity struggles that plague the mutant community with garden-variety teen angst, and not even an ultra-excessive performance by Kevin Bacon as dapper villain Sebastian Shaw can make that fun to watch. —D.L.

FairMounT waTer works inTerpreTive CenTer 640 Waterworks Drive, 215-685-0723, fairmountwaterworks.com. Home (2009, u.S., 95 min.): As a part of its monthlong Discover the Earth’s Problems and Solve Them series, FWWIC is screening this doc by yann ArthusBertrand which, through aerial footage of 54 countries, shows the effect humanity is having on the ecological balance of the planet. Sundays in July, 1:30 and 3:30 p.m., free.

Bryn Mawr FilM insTiTuTe

is such an awkward monster, a threat more by the default of scale than by any actual menace in its bearing, that it is at once shocking and funny. It’s one of a few clever tricks that AndrĂŠ Ă˜vredal’s mock-doc has in its arsenal — too few, unfortunately, spread over far too long a time otherwise filled by bickering and endless panoramas of snow-capped woods. —S.B. (Ritz at the Bourse)

[ movie shorts ]

the agenda | food | classifieds

TrollhunTer|C+

plays a wheelchair-bound Peeping Tom. Thu., July 7, 7 p.m., $9.75. Fight Club (1999, u.S., 139 min.): “you can swallow a pint of blood before you get sick.� Mon., July 11, 7 p.m., $9.75.

a&e

Road trips offer freedom of exploration, unscheduled days — and the occasionally hellish confinement of being trapped in a tiny space with another person. Steve Coogan and Rob Brydon swerve between both extremes while traveling through the British countryside, carping at each other, riffing on inane comic concepts and sinking into self-absorbed silences. In short, it’s just like any long car trip — with the added neuroses of two professional comedians. —S.B. (Ritz at the Bourse)

the naked city | feature

The Trip|B+

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agenda

the

listings@citypaper.net | July 7 - July 13

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the agenda

[ high-diving, self-psychologizing ]

GAMEBOY: Ro-Bear plays PJAM’s chiptune concert on Friday. Ben maSOn

The Agenda is our selective guide to what’s going on in the city this week. For comprehensive event listings, visit citypaper.net/listings.

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iF yOu Want tO Be liSted:

Submit information by email (listings@citypaper.net) to Josh Middleton or enter them yourself at citypaper.net/submit-event with the following details: date, time, address of venue, telephone number and admission price. Incomplete submissions will not be considered, and listings information will not be accepted over the phone.

thursday

7.07 [ music/film/festival ]

PJAM The news cycle has let Japan’s recent tragedies fall off the front page, but Cinedelphia blogger Eric Bresler and a group of fellow Japanophiles haven’t forgotten. They’ve organized the Philadelphia Japan Arts Matsuri (PJAM)

— a term for a communitybased cultural festival — to benefit disaster-relief efforts. But the schedule will be far from a downer, offering three days of film and music. The cinematic lineup includes the cartoonishly manic Yakuza Weapon and Takashi Miike’s film-of-the-week, a sure-to-beoutrageous anime adaptation called Ninja Kids, but it isn’t all over-the-top insanity. Recent Sundance hit Abraxas, a lowkey drama about a punk rocker turned monk unwilling to give up his noise-making, will make its Philly debut, as will the slacker comedy 8,000 Miles and its sequel, both featuring a group of would-be rappers. A hip-hop concert will follow on Friday night, with a batch of local chiptune artists creating musical instruments out of those Japanese game systems we all grew up on. —Shaun Brady Thu.-Sat., July 7-9, Prince Music Theater, 1412 Chestnut St., 215-5699700, phillyjam.org.

[ rock/pop/blues ]

Penrose If there can be such a thing as a pop-blues trio, or a blues-pop trio, the gentlemen of Penrose have figured it out. That’s not to say the Philly-born brothers Dan, Tom and Pat Murphy don’t have the ages-old blues root in their bones or that their blood isn’t boiling over with three-chord-blues angst. The mournful Delta swampiness of Hooker and Waters, the psychedelic edge of Cream, the skuzzy modern primitivism of Black Keys all exist within Penrose’s crusty aesthetic. But whether you’ve caught them in a live setting or consider yourself a fan of their debut CD, late-2010’s Devil’s Grip, you know their melodies are sharp, their hooks are contagious and that no bros since Hanson are cuter. That’s blues-pop, y’all. They’ll start their first tour of the States at Kung Fu Necktie this week and will be gone for more than a month. Miss this

one and you can always hitchhike to Maine’s Caravan Music Festival (July 22-24) that Tom Murphy co-founded three years ago. —a.d. amorosi Thu., July 7, 7:30 p.m., $7, with Cannons, A Million Years and Flamingo, Kung Fu Necktie, 1250 N. Front St., 215-291-4919, kungfunecktie.com.

[ hip-hop ]

Kid Cudi I know he got the Grammy nom, and did some guest work with Kanye, Jay-Z and MGMT, but is the scrawny-stylish Cleveland expat MC really big enough to fill the Mann? Damn. I remember when he had to settle for packing the side tent at the Roots Picnic a couple years back. Good for him. The Kid’s got more than the usual bag of sweet beats and breath control; he can also, you know, sing. And his high-diving, self-psychologizing lyrics make him one of the deepest and most interest-

ing mainstream MCs out there. —Patrick rapa

shabby for a gal who grew up in the streets of gay Paree, eh? —Brian Wilensky

Thu., July 7, 7:30 p.m., $40-$45.40, with Chip tha Ripper, Mann Center for the Performing Arts, 5201 Parkside Ave., 215-893-1999, manncenter.org.

Thu.-Sat., July 7-9 and 14-16, 10:30 p.m., $20, Wilma Theater, 265 S. Broad St., 215-546-7824, wilmatheater.org.

[ cabaret ]

no regrets: A PiAf AffAir The bittersweet life and times of famed French singer Edith Piaf has inspired a not-sotraditional performance by PIFA favorites the Bearded ladies Cabaret. In No Regrets: A Piaf Affair, a dragged-out John Jarboe (Back in the Army) takes on some of the little Sparrow’s most iconic tunes, including “la Vie En Rose” and “Non Je Ne Regrette Rien.” The show will also feature an explosion of can-can dancers (yes, some with stubble), confetti cannons and a cardboard tour of Paris that Jarboe says tows the line between virtuosity and something homemade. Not so

friday

7.08 [ jazz ]

MiChAel rAy’s X-rAy Trumpet player Michael Ray spent years as a member of both hit funksters Kool & the Gang and outer-space jazz big band the Sun Ra Arkestra. His own music splits the difference, blending tight grooves and cosmic improvisation. He’ll lead his X-Ray trio with bassist Jan Simpkins and drummer Rick Taylor as part of Matthew

—Shaun Brady

clothes, dancing and 1950s-era celebrity look-alike. —Christopher Seybert Fri., July 8, 8:30 p.m., $10, PJ Ryan’s Pub, 231 Bridge St., Phoenixville, 484252-3300, thecolonialtheatre.com.

[ jazz/world ]

Khaira arby

oran EtKin’s KElEnia

Even on record, the sweat pouring off Malian singer Khaira Arby and her band

—Shaun Brady

—A.D. Amorosi Fri., July 8, 9 p.m., $15, with Urban Shamans, Johnny Brenda’s, 1201 N. Frankford Ave., 215-739-9684, johnnybrendas.com.

[ movies/party ]

blob ball Dust off those poodle skirts and break out a nifty cardigan to boogie like it’s 1955 at Rydell High. This weekend, the Colonial Theatre kicks off Blobfest, its annual celebration honoring the locally filmed horror flick The Blob with the fourth annual Blob Ball. The Rivers Rockabilly Trio will perform hand-jiving classics from Elvis Presley, Carl Perkins and Buddy Holly. Prizes will be awarded for best retro

Fri., July 8, 5:45 and 7:15 p.m., free with museum admission of $16, Philadelphia Museum of Art, 2600 Ben Franklin Parkway, 215-763-8100, philamuseum.org.

Saturday

7.09 [ singer/songwriter ]

bill Callahan Inveterate maverick troubadour Bill Callahan has been peddling his brand of insular, poetically inscrutable ruminations for two decades now

P h i l A D e l P h i A C i t y PA P e r | J U L Y 7 - J U L Y 1 3 , 2 0 1 1 | C i t y PA P e r . n e t |

threatens to gush from the speakers, so you can only imagine how intense her live shows must get. A cousin of legendary singer-guitarist Ali Farka Toure, Arby blends the traditional and the modern, incorporating local rhythms and instruments with Western rock influences, generating a particularly urgent brand of African funk-rock. Many of her lyrics protest the plight of women in traditional societies, including the ordeal of female circumcision, but even if you don’t understand the words, her passion and vitality grab you by the throat and make her argument.

This weekend the Art After 5 crowd at the Philadelphia Museum of Art will discover what the privileged children of Manhattan already know: Clarinetist/saxophonist/composer Oran Etkin is a whiz at world music and post-Bop jazz. The Manu Dibango of the Upper East Side runs a music education program called Timbalooloo, which counts among its student bodies the offspring of Harvey Keitel, Naomi Watts, Liev Schreiber and Ken Burns. But from the sound of his recordings Wake Up Clarinet! and Kelenia, Etkin is more than just a cool teacher. The Israeliborn woodwind master has gigged with the diverse likes of Wyclef Jean, Mike Stern and Toumani Diabaté. That adaptability probably comes from Etkin’s dense but lilting tone with arrangements and rhythms concentrating on the melodies of Mali, New Orleans, the Sudan, downtown New York City and traditional Jewish music. If it’s good enough for the Bad Lieutenant’s kids, it’s good enough for you punks.

food | classifieds

[ world/rock/folk ]

the agenda

Fri., July 8, 9 p.m., $8-$10, Moonstone Arts Center, 110 S. 13th St., second floor, 215-735-9600, luckyoldsouls.com.

[ the agenda ]

the naked city | feature | a&e

Feldman’s monthly Lucky Old Souls series; also on the bill will be trumpeter Josh Lawrence’s quintet, celebrating the birthdays of both the leader and pianist Luke Carlos O’Reilly.

27

a&e | feature | the naked city the agenda classifieds | food

dj

nights

a SeleCtive Guide to What BanGS in Philly | by gair marking, aka dev79

W M 1 N/C U V

Weekly Monthly One-off No Charge Breaks Downtempo

h b O A e 9

Drum ’n’ Bass Dubstep/Garage Electro Experimental Funk/Soul Goth/Industrial

arts Garage

Walnut room redux

1533 Ridge Ave., 215-765-2702

1709 Walnut St., 215-751-0201

the Barbary

951 Frankford Ave., 215-634-7400

Thu., July 7

Bookspace

n BoB Marley thurSdayS <

1113 Frankford Ave., 215-291-5880 Fluid

613 S. Fourth St., 215-629-0565 headhouse

122 lombard St., 215-922-1223 Kiva

1904 Chestnut St., 215-557-7510 Kung Fu necktie

1248 N. Front St., 215-291-4919 Medusa lounge

27 S. 21st St., 215-557-1981 Silk City

435 Spring Garden St., 215-592-8838

@ Arts Garage w/Joe Dawg, Winston Irie, Roger Culture. Whip your dreads back and forth to authentic sounds inspired by reggae’s numero uno, call for price. n niGht drive t @ Medusa

lounge w/James Shander and Dave Tat. lock in for underground dance music and high-tech soul, free. n learn V O A G y P @ Book-

space w/DJ HA, DJ Ruxbin. Hedzup Productions and actualrecords.org bring you an educational and entertaining experience that’ll expand your mind and destroy everything you

G t i s <

Hip-hop House Latin Progressive/ House Reggae

Rock/Pop Techno Top 40/ Hip-hop/ R&B Trance World

y ! > z P

thought you knew about music, free.

cultured and loose, $5.

Fri., July 8

n Get SoMe! G t > @ Walnut

n Kiva Grand oPeninG t @

Kiva w/Junior Sanchez, Deep C, DJ Freedom, DJ Elevation. This new lounge spot above Kokopelli is jumping off with a serious house music lineup that’s sure to get ya rowdy, $10. n BedlaM h @ Fluid w/John B,

Clay Nyse, Seraph, Contact High, MC Sharpness. Defcon bumps ya proper with more of those heavy-hitting d’n’b sounds to rattle ya chest and move ya feet, call for price. n SKool daze G @ Kung Fu

Necktie w/Casebloom, Foxx Boogie, ultraviolet. gl Productions presents a new jump featuring live art by Tatyana Fazlalizadeh so you can get

Room Redux w/DJ Stereotype, MC White, Mike Oz. lisascissorhands and Sugar Industries give you a reason to get spiffy and party the night away every month with drink specials and surprise guests, $5-$10.

SaT., July 9

tue., July 12

: 180 graM yGVbU @ Kung Fu Necktie w/Arik Victor, Aaron “The Kosherican” Levinson, Aaron Ruxbin, Gab Bonghi, Dr. EW, Spirit Animal, Fuck Attack!, Dusty Rails. Party organizers are pulling out all the stops for the second edition of this new monthly jam. Look out for extended hours and a couple bands thrown in, including a CD release show for locals Spirit Animal. The selectors put emphasis on all vinyl for this night of heavyweight import and local music. With five DJs and three bands, it’s pretty much guaranteed you’ll have a good time, so get your ass on down! Call for price.

for you to get ya swerve on, $12-$20. n PhiladelPhyinz O e G t y @ Medusa lounge w/The Hood

Internet, Apt One, Skinny Friedman. The mighty Philadelphyinz welcome mashup kings Hood Internet for their monthly soiree at Medusa. Expect sweat, ceiling bangin’ and plenty more yadda yadda bing bang to get you all walla walla shim shang, $5.

n CollaPSinG neW PeoPle 9 y @ HeadHouse w/Von Gehl, Pass-

Sun., July 10

able Plastic, Mighty Mike Saga. you like it when the cold wave shivers down your spine and makes you undulate to the beat, call for price.

n Sundae PM t @ Silk City w/lee

n ShaKedoWn G @ Kung Fu

Necktie w/Casebloom, Foxx Boogie, ultraviolet. Worship Recs continues to lay down the deep house sounds

Jones, Dirty and guests. When the daytime action ends at Shampoo’s Garden, you can continue the getdown well into the night, $5.

Mon., July 11 n tiGerBeatS y @ The Barbary

28 | P h i l a d e l P h i a C i t y Pa P e r |

J u l y 7 - J u l y 1 3 , 2 0 1 1 | C i t y Pa P e r . n e t

20112012 Y O U R P R E M I E R M A G A Z I N E F E AT U R I N G E V E R Y T H I N G P H I L LY ! CITY GUIDE highlights Philly’s unique neighborhoods showcasing restaurants, galleries, bars,

clubs, boutiques, retail shops, markets, music venues and more! Copies of CITY GUIDE can be found at these locations: • Real Estate Offices • Condominiums • College & Grad School Orientation Bags • Convention & Vistor Bureaus • Schools • Hotels • Retailers • Bars & Clubs • And more PUBLICATION DATE : AUGUST 25 SPACE RESERVATION DEADLINE : JULY 13 For more information contact your account manager or call 215.825.2496

w/Jhn Rdn, luis Angel Cancel, Tony Mont. This indie-rock dance party gets movin’ so you can start your week off with a blast, $3.

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citypaper.net send dj night tips and listings to gair79@ c i t y p a p e r . n e t. F o r extended club listings, h i t c i t y pa p e r . n e t / d j n i g h t s .

queerbait Josh Middleton on the LGBTQ scene

food | classifieds

Without the parties, QFest would feel like just another night at the movies. “Going to a [film] festival should be an entirely different experience,” says development director Thom Cardwell. “It’s called a festival, so things should be festive, right?” Absolutely, girlfriend.

the agenda

➤ QFestivities

the naked city | feature | a&e

[ the agenda ]

Opening Night Party Thu., July 7, 9:30 p.m., $35, Loews Philadelphia Hotel, 1200 Market St.➤ Cardwell says he chose Loews’ 33rd floor to kick off QFest because of the panoramic views. Grab a bev and spark up a chat with Judas Kiss director J.T. Tepnapa or the festival’s Rising Star Award-recipient — and mega babe — Sean Paul Lockhart (pictured; you’re welcome). After-Party for Kink Crusaders Thu., July 14, 11 p.m., Bike Stop, 206 S. Quince St. ➤ Philly’s No. 1 daddy magnet should be hopping following the 9:30 p.m. screening of Michael Skiff’s doc about the International Mr. Leather competition. Rep your naughty side by wearing something assless. July Stimulus: The Final Cut Fri., July 15, 10 p.m., $5, Marathon Grill, 929 Walnut St.➤ This month’s lady-friendly Stimulus bash, with queer DJs Kash and Jovi Baby, serves as the after-party for Circumstance, a politically charged lesbian coming-of-ager set in Tehran (see Sam Adams’ review on p. 16). Closing Night Extravaganza Mon., July 18, 9:30 p.m., $25, Trust, 249 Arch St. ➤ Sending off QFest is a men’s swimwear fashion show, sponsored by East Passyunk’s gay-owned Metro Men’s Clothing. When you’re not ogling the goods (ahem), try to grab a word with special guest director Casper Andreas (Going Down in La-La Land) or WMMR’s Pierre Robert, who’ll be there to announce the festival’s audience- and jury-award winners. (josh.middleton@citypaper.net) Find more parties at qfest.com. Have an upcoming LGBTQ event? Give it here: E-mail listings@citypaper.net.

—K. Ross Hoffman

RichaRd iii Despite the economy and global warming, Commonwealth Classic Theatre Co.’s ambitious scheme to produce professional theater in area parks in July — for free! — continues to flourish. This summer’s all-too-modern exploration of power and corruption, The Tragedy of King Richard III — directed by Philadelphia Artists’ Collective’s Dan Hodge, with Josh Browns as the titular hunchback and a stellar cast including Brian McCann, Mary Tuomanen, Christie Parker, Robert DaPonte and Mark Cairns — is the company’s eighth annual tour, ranging from Lansdowne to Lansdale, West Chester to West Goshen. Philadelphia performances include East Falls (July 13),

29

Sat., July 9, 9 p.m., $14, with Hidden Ritual, Johnny Brenda’s, 1201 N. Frankford Ave., 877-435-9849, johnnybrendas.com.

[ theater ] P H i l a d e l P H i a C i t y Pa P e R | J u L y 7 - J u L y 1 3 , 2 0 1 1 | C i t y Pa P e R . n e t |

— first as Smog, for nearly 15 years, and under his birth name for the past five or so — with unflagging productivity, traversing from rudimentary lo-fi to orchestral lushness to delicately spare acoustic folk. And he’s hit a great patch lately. After 2009’s relatively lavish Sometimes I Wish We Were an Eagle and last year’s Australian live document Rough Travel for a Rare Thing, Apocalypse (Drag City), he returns to the dusty trails of his homeland for some skewed observations on America’s myths and foibles. “One thing about this wild, wild country,” he muses with jaunty dourness. “It takes a strong, strong/ It breaks a strong strong mind.” No doubting Callahan’s got that.

July 9-30, free, various locations, 610-202-7878, commonwealthclassictheatre.org.

[ rock/pop ]

Sunday

7.10 [ screening ]

Nobody does depressing plays about war-torn Russia better than Anton Chekhov. This weekend Ambler Theater brings a live recording of the London National Theatre’s The Cherry

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lead who places her family’s well-being in the hands of strangers. The screening is part of Ambler’s Lively Arts series, which showcases theater performances from New York City, as well as across the pond. —Diana Campeggio Sun., July 10, 12:30 p.m., $18, Ambler Theater, 108 E. Butler Ave., Ambler, 215345-7855, amblertheater.org.

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J u L Y 7 - J u L Y 1 3 , 2 0 1 1 | C i t y Pa P e R . n e t

7.11

sweet tooths up and down the seaboard for the band’s fulllength debut, due in September. —K. Ross Hoffman Mon., July 11, 8 p.m., $12, with Wild Nothing, Johnny Brenda’s, 1201 N. Frankford Ave., 877-435-9849, johnnybrendas.com.

Twin SiSTer

The Cherry OrChard

30 | P H i l a D e l P H i a C i t y Pa P e R |

monday

The wholesome-seeming Long Island kids in Twin Sister have been catching ears lately with a couple of EPs — in particular last year’s Color Your Life — full of plush, dreamy, keyboardled pop that never sounds like it’s in much of a hurry; layering low-key kiddie-krautrock and dollhouse-disco beats under plenty of warm analog shimmer and the cupcake frosting of Andrea Estella’s breathy, kewpie-like voice. Their current string of dates (here with fellow reverb-happy romantics Wild Nothing) should serve to whet

tueSday

7.12

latest, the glisteningly suave, dulcet Smother (Domino), feels immaculately polished and delicate, at odds with the stark, animal carnality of a line like “I take you in my mouth like a lion takes his game.� And yet, sound and sense function in these paws as equal expressions of the same fluid, coursing, primal desire; both blunt and oblique, cerebral PAuL PHuNg

—Mark Cofta

Orchard, Chekhov’s final masterpiece about a family that must auction its beloved estate to pay its debt. ZoÍ Wanamaker stars as Mme. Ranyevskaya, the heartbroken, headstrong

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a&e | feature | the naked city the agenda classifieds | food

Love Park (July 16), the Piazza at Schmidts (July 20) and the International House (July 23). Bring a blanket!

[ the agenda ]

intimate and dangerously alien — is an uncompromising instrument of wild, beastly sophistication and power. —K. Ross Hoffman Tue., July 12, 9 p.m., $18-$26, with Marques Tolliver, World CafÊ Live, 3025 Walnut St., 215-222-1400, worldcafelive.com.

[ art pop ]

wild BeaSTS The key to Wild Beasts’ abundant if somewhat rarefied allure can be glossed from their deceptively incongruous moniker: The British foursome’s music, particularly on their

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TSObc`W\U bVS Âż\Sab XOhh [caWQWO\a T`][ >VWZZg O\R <G1 E32<3A2/G 8C:G !B6 '^[ O[ 2@C;;3@ >3>>3 ;3@=::/ e 8Oa]\ :]\U >WO\] ASbV :SeWa 0Oaa TSObc`W\U 4`SRRWS 6S\R`Wf B`c[^Sb :WdS [caWQ % \WUVba O eSSY TSObc`W\U bVS V]bbSab bOZS\b Z]QOZZg O\R \ObW]\OZZg

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and bodily, savage and sensual. And Hayden Thorpe’s mewling, simpering, preening, yearning falsetto, at the center of it all — at once warmly, blushingly

citypaper.net For comprehensive event listings, visit c i t y pa p e r . n e t / l i s t i n g s .

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the naked city | feature | a&e the agenda food | classifieds

tix and info: 215.928.0978 . www.tinangel.com 20 south 2nd street, phila

COMING UP: Kim Richey 9/23, Andrew Lipke 9/24, Brian McCann (Great Big Sea) 9/26 WED 7/27 8:00

Tim Williams & the Delicate Few Dallin Applebaum

THU 7/28 8:00

Adam Ezra (with band) Cabinet SAT 7/30 7:30

SAT 7/30 10:30

FRI 8/5 7:30

Cliff Hillis

James Popik

Adam Crossley

Mike Viola

Richard Bush & the Peace Creeps Laura Cheadle

FRI 8/19 8:30 The Quixote Project The Sons of Linus Hidden River Construction

WED 8/24 8:00

THU 8/25 8:00

FRI 8/26 10:30

SAT 9/3 7:30

FRI 9/9 7:30

JD Malone & The Experts Rodger Delany

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Jessie Torrisi Geron Hoy Mark Evans (Heaven’s Edge) & Friends Antigone Rising

31

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a&e | feature | the naked city classifieds | food

the agenda

TACO TUESDAYS

Gro

Sat, July 9th, 10pm FREE RAUNCHY w/DJs Liz Lixx,Bud Bomb & Singin’Lord Tombeat

up Therapy Bar

MICHAEL’S 3rd ANNUAL LAST DAY! Sunday, July 10th 7pm!

Tues, July 12th, 8pm, No Cover SMILE New Record Party w/ Wil H & Steady Eddie and Friends -spinning,BLUES & RHYTHM, ROCK & ROLL,PSYCH,GARAGE, SURF & SOUL. Drink Specials 8-11pm Sat, July 30th 9:30pm $5 BLOW UP A GO GO! With the Biters, Gold Crowns and Rocks Off DJs Dan Kishbaugh,Erick Kohlhofer & Bill Coburn Every Tuesday, 8pm King of the Hill Pool Tournament

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AC<2/G 0@C<16 '/; /; AB/@B7<5 /B % '# Thursday July 7Th 9pm/ $7 DangerbirD raDio Control mikingmihrab Friday July 8Th 8:30pm / $8 auDio kings of the 3rD WorlD. blaCk stars unDerWater Country Club mammox bismark flying fox Thursday July 14Th 9pm / $10 pure Death proDuCtions presents: symboliC extremely rotten the gurChiCk tree antikythera Friday July 15Th 9pm/ $5 Verse the enD master arroW With our teeth lakes of CanaDa 20 Days in Wednesday July 20Th 9pm/ $7joe jaCk talCum (of the DeaD milkmen) the bassturD mike bell Thursday July 21sT 9pm / $7 DisasteraDio math the banD 42nd & Chester Avenue university City 215.222.1255 MillCreekphilly.CoM Easy accEss via 11,13,34 & 36 TrollEys #13 TrollEy drops you aT ThE door

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MONDAY 7/11 - 9PM Open Jam hosted by Tony Catastrophe TUESDAY 7/12 - 6PM Soul Station WEDNESDAY 7/13 6pm Dinner & Jazz w/ Francis Cacnio 9pm PINOT, TIN CUP GYPSY 215.625.0855 117 Chestnut St.Philadelphia, PA triumphbrewing.com facebook.com/triumpholdcity

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House Music on the Main Floor Hip Hop on The Roof

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Latin Night/Free Lessons On the Main Floor Mixed Music on The Roof

TUESDAY

Hip Hop on the Main Floor w/Strength Dance Competition/ Pole Dancing Oldies Music on The Roof

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Continuation of Center City Sips 5p-7p Hip Hop on the Roof & Main Floor

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f&d

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portioncontrol By Drew Lazor

RiesLinG-ABLe DoUBt

34 | P h i l a d e l P h i a C i t y Pa P e r |

J u l y 7 - J u l y 1 3 , 2 0 1 1 | C i t y Pa P e r . n e t

➤ Most bar patrons, in particular those

with some wine game in their repertoires, do not like to be told what to drink. But what about when it’s branded as a playful-yet-didactic nudge in an unforeseen direction? That’s what the Summer of Riesling (SoR) — a nationwide promotion encouraging drinkers to embrace the oft-misunderstood Teutonic grape — is all about. The SoR originates at the New York wine bar Terroir, where in 2008, owner Paul Grieco decided to overhaul the white portion of his by-the-glass list to feature only Rieslings, commonly known for being (1) German and (2) extremely sweet. While the grape does call Germany’s Rhine region home (the country still lays claims to more than half the world’s Riesling vines), it has long been cultivated worldwide, from New Zealand and South Africa to Oregon and upstate New York. As far as taste goes: Riesling is complex by virtue and extremely sensitive to the region in which it’s grown, translating to great diversity waiting to be uncorked within the varietal. “Riesling has the mesmerizing power to be both one thing and many things at once, in that the grape illuminates the quality of its terroir in full Technicolor while still tasting undeniably like Riesling,” says Suzanne Winter, who oversees SoR programming on a national level. Sweet or not, one characteristic true of Riesling is its unusually high level of acidity. This appeals to Jill Weber of Jet Wine Bar, a local SoR venue where, like all participating locations, one can find three Rieslings by the glass throughout the summer. “The wines have a lot of sugar, and because of that they have a lot of acidity, which translates to [Riesling] being a lot more refreshing than other wines,” says Weber, who’s also working on a series of Rieslingbased events. “No matter what [flavors] you might taste, you get this wonderful wash of acidity.” Riesling, which Jon Myerow characterizes as “an underappreciated grape” (his Tria and Biba locations are SoR participants), also has a latent reputation as a powerful pairing wine. “It has such a wide range,” says Tria cheese director Sean Faeth, who’s sticking a Riesling-friendly Abbaye de Tamié on Tria’s “Sunday School” menu this weekend. “It can be crisp and mellow or it can be sweet and rich, but it always has a great food backbone.” There are a total of 10 Philly-area bars and restaurants taking up the torch for the SoR, which runs through Sept. 22. For more info and a full list of local participants, head to summerofriesling.com. (drew.lazor@citypaper.net)

G.O.A.T. GOAT: Talula’s Garden chef Michael Santoro’s goat tortelloni is Adam Erace’s Pasta Dish of 2011 — “and the year’s only half over.” neal santos

[ review ]

License to tiLL Backed by Starr green, Aimee Olexy presents the enchanting, exacting Talula’s Garden. By Adam Erace

talula’s Garden | 210 W. Washington Square, 215-592-7787,

talulasgarden.com. Dinner Sun.-Thu., 5-10 p.m.; Fri.-Sat., 5-11 p.m. Appetizers, $9-$16; entrées, $25-$34; dessert, $7-$10.

W

hen you walk through the Garden, you better watch your back. That would have been the message sung to whomever was responsible for the darkness that dropped like a black-velvet theater curtain on Talula’s Garden last week. For seven hours, the power was out, and the only light was the natural kind, filtering through the crepe myrtle and sugarplums of the iron-gated More on: courtyard and into the restaurant. The temp was in the 80s and there was no air conditioning. Fortunately, PECO got the power back on in time for dinner, but the mishap wasn’t without casualties, like the foie gras parfait. Sitting at the al fresco bar, to where I’d been apologetically directed by the dewy hostesses, I pitied all the evening’s diners who wouldn’t get to slip a spoon into that square of livery luxury, as I did a week earlier. I pitied the career gals sipping sparkly cocktails. I pitied the couple discoursing on Founders Centennial IPA, Rogue’s Crater lake blue and how Stephen Starr’s second turn

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in this space compares to his first, Washington Square. For the record, there is no comparison. I even pitied the medusa-haired lady sitting next to me, a difficult feeling to muster as she prattled on about her friend who was running late because she’d just had her eyes done. These guests, my banished-from-the-A/C comrades, would not know chef Michael Santoro’s smooth-as-Cool Whip foie this night. They might go on to enjoy their food, but to go to Talula’s Garden and not eat this first course would be like going to Baltimore and not eating crabs. The internationally schooled Santoro cures duck livers with salt and late-harvest pinot gris, furthering their intoxication by puréeing them with port, Madeira and brandy, plus garlic, shallots and thyme. Employing a French technique he learned working at the Fat Duck in England, he emulsifies the mix with eggs and enough clarified butter to entertain thoughts of liposuction. (I bet my new friend at the bar knows a guy.) The parfait is terrine-molded and baked, sliced and plated with pistachios, more food and cherries, brioche and stupefyingly good drink coverage apricot butter scented with summer savory at c i t y p a p e r . n e t / that Santoro grows just a few feet from m e a lt i c k e t. where I was sitting. That foie is the breakout is doubly ironic. The place is called Talula’s Garden, for one, not Talula’s Abattoir. And second, wasn’t it Starr in 2006 who caved to animal-rights activists and instituted a company-wide embargo on gavaged goods? Here, the notoriously meticulous restaurateur doesn’t make decisions about what is and isn’t on the menu. (Barclay Prime still serves foie, too, for the record.) He didn’t select the goose-fleshed >>> continued on page 36

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Eat or drink anything good this weekend? We want to hear about it!

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Culton Organics/Yards Beer Dinner at Kennett Tue.,

North Indian Cuisine Clay Oven Cooking

July 12, 7 and 7:30 p.m., $65 ➤ Kennett chef Brian Ricci (above) is collaborating with Tom Kehoe of Yards and Tom Culton of Culton Organics to present a four-course, fivebeer “farm-to-table� menu. Ricci will serve an assortment of charcuterie, heirloom tomatoes with olive-oil-soaked sourdough, slow-roasted fattened lamb and goat, buffalo brisket weaned on Yards malted grains and more. For the beer, expect Yards Porter and Brawler blends spiced with additions like coriander, smoked chili and marjoram. Kennett, 848 S. Second St., 267-687-1426, kennettrestaurant.com.

%": -6/$) %*//&3 #6''&5

Fifth Anniversary Rioja Celebration at Bar Ferdinand Sat., July 9, 3-5 p.m., and 6:30 and 9:30 p.m.,

$45-$78 ➤ To celebrate its fifth birthday, Bar Ferdinand will heat things up outside on Saturday afternoon, starting with a Spanish picnic featuring roast pig, paella, gazpacho and dessert paired with six glasses of Rioja selected by sommelier/author Marnie Old. As night falls, Ferdy invites diners inside for a five-course tasting featuring more Rioja. Old will treat guests at both dinner seatings to a copy of her latest book, Wine Secrets. Bar Ferdinand, Liberties Walk, 1030 N. Second St., 215-923-1313, barferdinand.com. free (with proper attire) ➤ Dress like a cow — literally, you have to dress up as a cow — to get free grub as the Chick-fil-A chain honors the 16th year of its “Eat Mor Chikinâ€? campaign. All day long, customers who are brave enough to rock some spots and a cowbell (and maybe throw in a “mooâ€? or two) will be rewarded with an entrĂŠe, a side and a Dr Pepper. Check out their website for a list of Philly restaurants. Various locations, chick-fil-a.com. Philadelphia Vendy Awards Sat., July 9, 3-7 p.m.,

$25-$500 ➤ Our favorite food vendors will gather at the Piazza at Schmidts to compete for the title of best street chef in this competition, which is taking Philly over for the first time this year. The eight finalists (including GiGi’s and Big R, King of Falafel, La Copine and more) will go head-to-head to determine street-food supremacy. A group of judges, including our very own Drew Lazor, Mayor Michael Nutter, 10 Arts’ Jennifer Carroll and Zahav’s Michael Solomonov, will determine the winner. Proceeds benefit The Food Trust. Piazza at Schmidts, 1015 N. Second St., streetvendor.org/vendys/philly.

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Cow Appreciation Day with Chick-fil-A Fri., July 8,

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License to Till

Right now, the list of restaurants I’d rather eat at is thinner than Santoro’s fazzoletti.

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36 | P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R |

[ food & drink ]

<<< continued from page 34

cotton stationery on which the menus are printed, or the floor lamps that arch over the banquettes like curious ostriches. He didn’t pick out the garden chairs or even the construction crews, including one assembled by Delaware’s Challenge Program, which teaches carpentry skills to troubled youth. When Washington Square was being transformed, the decision-making fell to Starr’s partner in the venture, Aimee Olexy of Kennett Square’s Talula’s Table. “Singular visions are something Stephen understands pretty well,â€? says Olexy. “I think he wanted to allow that to happen and not muss it up by interjecting ideas.â€? The restaurant that has resulted from this unusual anti-collaboration is a testament to them both. Right now, the list of Philly restaurants I’d rather eat at is thinner than Santoro’s lovely fazzoletti pasta tossed with braised, bacon-wrapped rabbit spiced with vadouvan. From the bread service (house-baked sourdough) to the dessert (doughnuts with lavender-scented strawberry sauce), he’s cooking at the level of all my favorites. I thought the halibut showed every minute of work that had been sunk into it — brining the fish, foaming saffron, braising oxtail and artichoke hearts, one stuffed with the other in a prep-intense barigoule setup — but offered little pleasurable reward. It’s the Avatar of the Talula’s Garden menu, and the only dish over two visits I didn’t love. Haunting and visceral, the lamb shoulder is more District 9. Juniper lingers on the meat like perfume on a man’s collar, mace on the sweet Thumbelina carrots sunk like treasure into a quicksand of Anson Mills polenta. There are squash-blossom fritters filled with chèvre and ricotta, and a chilled purĂŠe of golden beets sweetened with moscato. The tortelloni of braised spiced goat, inspired by Santoro’s Indian in-laws, in powerful goat jus studded with peas and spherically smooth “gnudi,â€? is already the Pasta Dish of 2011, and the year’s only half over. The dessert list is a fanciful assembly of sweet curios, but you’d have to be vegan or lactose-intolerant to miss the masterful cheese menu Olexy has curated. There are six plates served, seven if you count the omakase house ’mongers Josh Kaplan and Jessica Muller can fashion to order on the pink-granite cheese bar. Served on reclaimed-slate boards dotted and streaked with date purĂŠes, rhubarb chutneys, artisanal honeys and candied nuts, the choices are as trim as a twosome and as large as the eight-count Master Collection. But you should get the Not Your Granny’s, “six new takes on tradition,â€? if only for the Tumelo Farms Fenacho, a butterscotch-y goat’s-milk Gouda freckled with whole fenugreek seeds. A long time ago, back when Olexy was the manager of Starr’s Blue Angel, she lived at Seventh and Pine and would walk by Washington Square on the way to work. “I fell in love with the spot then,â€? she says. And now, the rest of us can, too. (adam.erace@citypaper.net)

feedingfrenzy By Drew Lazor

➤ NOW SEATING The Blind Pig | Debra Ciasullo, husband David Hentz

(the chef) and partner John Byrne have opened this bar and restaurant in Kong’s former NoLibs digs. The casual, neighborhoody spot is pouring eight beers on tap and cracking upward of 20 brews in cans behind the bar to go along with Hentz’s pubby menu (herb-roasted chicken, pork chops, mussels, poutine, lamb sliders, etc.). His signature item? “Thanksgiving Balls,� turkey, mashed potatoes and stuffing, rolled into a sphere, breaded/fried and served with gravy and cranberry. Expect more ball-shaped menu items to surface soon, too. Current hours: Tue.-Sun., 4 p.m.2 a.m.; brunch, lunch and Monday hours coming in the near future. 702 N. Second St., 267-639-4565, blindpigphilly.com. Kansai | Open for about three months, Kansai is a

solid-priced Japanese eatery servicing Fairmount and its greater ’hoods. Open for lunch and dinner daily, the BYO features signature rolls like the Green Jade (soy bean skin stuffed with tuna, salmon, crab, cucumber, avocado, caviar and wasabi mayo) and the daring Halloween (shrimp tempura, avocado, fried pumpkin, eel, avocado, eel sauce, spicy sauce). Hours: Mon.-Fri., 11 a.m.-10 p.m.; Sat.-Sun., noon-10 p.m. 1822 Spring Garden St., 215-568-0888. ➤ LITTLE VITTLES Hop Sing Laundromat (1029 Race St.), the cloak-and-

dagger-y cocktail bar that’s been a long time coming in Chinatown, is now aiming to open in late summer. ➤ Old City’s long-running Chloe (232 Arch St.) has begun accepting credit cards after more than a decade in business. Take swipey advantage before owners Mary Ann Ferrie and Dan Grimes go on vacation for the month of August. ➤ Manayunk’s Rubb BBQ, which still plans on opening a brick-and-mortar location at 4445 Main St., is for now offering chicken, ribs and brisket mobile-style Saturdays and Sundays in front of Main Street Market (4345 Main St.). ➤ Gordon Ramsay is currently scouting Philly locations for new episodes of his Fox show Kitchen Nightmares, where he overhauls flailing restaurants while yelling and cursing a lot. If you’d like to make a nomination, email kitchennightmares@theconlincompany.com or call 866-266-2226. Got A Tip? Please send restaurant news to drew.lazor@citypaper.net

or call 215-735-8444, ext. 218.

BIBLE GIRL! It is a shame when people use religion for their own self-endicesment. If you are a true person you should not be throwing Bible verses around like you are holier than anyone else. You are corrupted by satan because you are looking to please yourself and only your needs.

Who gives a fuck that Monday was the 4th of July! To all the dumbasses mother fuckers who were cooking out and watching the fireworks celebration, let’s be honest it wasn’t meant for the all of us! I don’t remember the Liberty Bell ringing for my freedom. You can take this holiday and shove it up someone’s ass!

HEY LARRY! I know being raised in a toilet bowl, in a Barn on the edge of Shitland, on the planet Fucking loser,might have gave you your excuses as why you’ve been such a miserable dickhead to homeless

polluting our streets, forests and streams. On another note I agree with the waitress who spoke of impatient and rude people. My favorite customers are people who rush up to you while you’re helping another person and start blathering at you. It makes my job super fun!

I KNOW MY JOB! I hate your ugly ass telling me one thing and I tell you another and you still look at me like I am lying or something, you piece of shit! I know what the fuck I am doing and then some! How dare you tell me what you told me that morning. You don’t know

DROPKICK PIRATE You, a busty woman wearing a tight black dress with fishnets drinking Coors at Triangle Tavern and laughing with your friend about pirates. Me, a long haired lush wearing an band shirt who sat two stools away rolling my eyes as someone put money in the jukebox and played an Eagles song. I have to tell you that you seem so extraordinary and your laugh is addicting, you made such a dull, smokey, boring bar much more enchanting. I watched you feed money into the jukebox late that night and start dancing around to Dropkick Murphys before asking for a shot of Absolute and cursing like a sailor at the bartender for being so overpriced. I tried to talk to you but you brushed me off with a smirk saying something about how you’d never waste your time chatting with a man who thought band was a worthy band to be placed upon my shirt, you also punched me across the arm for having a ‘wimpy beard’. Give me a second chance would you? I frequent the tavern every weekend around 8pm. I promise to wear a more worthy shirt if you just let me buy you a drink.

Hey old dude...get yourself together! It is only a seat...You have no rights and you don’t own the shit! If you really feel that you are privileged to the fucking seat why don’t you ask the people at the store to reserve it for you or something. I think that it is pathetic for you to act the way you do! I only saw you for a few seconds but I know that you are a mental case! Get yourself and your life together!

WALK ALREADY people storing their stuff at the location and everyone else, but guess what ...You might have a tiny brain to go with that tiny dick of yours, but you’re just a rude dickless nobody, whose job it is to sweep bum trash and go around bitching you have to do actual work, You’re gone soon, hopefully!

I AGREE One person was commenting about how TRASH is everywhere in Philly. I’d like to say that it is also a problem in the beloved Fairmount Park. Fairmount Park and the Valley Green area have litter scattered throughout. This park is a really special place that Philadelphia is lucky to have, and THERE ARE TRASH CANS! It is better to have one big heaping pile of trash somewhere than

what the fuck I have to do or what you have to fucking do! Because if you did know what the fuck you were doing you wouldn’t be bothering me all the fucking time! I hate you and you are two-faced, ugly, stinky, need I say more! You know who you are and I just want you to know I just hate you! I hate what you stand for! You are never happy and like I told you...I am having an excellent week and everyday is a good day if I am smiling and you aren’t...get some deodorant! Please!

I LOVE YOU! Every time I see your face I think about how much I love you! I love the fact that you are just there when I need you to be! I love how you stroke my hair when I am sleeping. I honestly stay there and

To all those slowass bitches that are walking near or in front of me. I got news for you all, you are not pretty and you need to stop wearing tight pants before you get a yeast infection. People do not have to walk all slow like that when you know someone is trying to get by you and go to work! If you want to walk slow why don’t you work at a strip club or bar where you can walk slow all night! Let this be a fucking warning, you dumb bitches, please put a pep in your fucking step or stop walking down the damn street! To place your FREE ad (100 word limit), go to citypaper.net/ILUIHU and follow the prompts. ADS ALSO APPEAR AT CITYPAPER.NET/lovehate. City Paper has the right to re-publish “I Love You, I Hate You”™ ads at the publisher’s discretion. This includes re-purposing the ads for online publication, or for any other ancillary publishing projects.

37

I hate your face! When I see you honestly I want to slap the shit out of you! I think you’re a piece of crap that someone left behind on their shoes! I love

SEAT OBSESSION! P h i l a d e l P h i a C i t y Pa P e r | J U L Y 7 - J U L Y 1 3 , 2 0 1 1 | C i t y Pa P e r . n e t |

GRAND-MOMMY FACE!

We dared to dream the perfect dream and now we stand at the footsteps of dust. We held hands, shared straws, spent Tuesdays in laughter and in love. You told me everything. We walked down an aisle and said forever. After eight years, into our thirties, I assumed our love was just taking another level. I still thought of you as a that hot vixen dancing to Joy Division’s Disorder all over me. If we made it into our eighties, I promise I would cut your toenails for you. If you need time to find out what love means to you, or to just find your way out of the darkness, shine our lives like a light. All true love needs is a chance. To you, I cling, undaunted. Xo.

Dear Driver on Allegheny, I went to the bus stop with my roommate this morning to go to work. Next to the bus stop, I saw something on the road with birds and flies around it. I went to inspect it, realizing it was a cat. Then I looked at the paw, and what was left of the head. I drew in a breath as I recognized the pattern on the fur. It was MY cat. You murdered her. I hope your drunken joyride was worth it. You may think it’s silly or funny to be so upset about a cat, but she was sweeter than most people, adventurous and kind. She was my heart. I ran back to my house from the bus stop and realized she’d got out through the basement window. Only to be splattered by your car. To all of the people who kept running over her dead body, what is wrong with you? I hope karma comes around and finds you all in bits on the road, she deserved life more than you.

Hey Danny...oh my goodness. The way that you were eating me out, I thought to myself damn he is going to make me wanna fuck him tonight! I really wish that we were past that stage but we are not! I am really not ready to have sex with you or anyone else. I know that you keep inquiring about it and I am not really saying anything. That doesn’t mean that I will not do it! I love our friendship and I love the fact that I ask you to do things for me and you do it without hesitation! Thank you for that...you almost made me cry the other night coming to my rescue! Thank you, dear!

Hey lady...watch your fucking bag...I looked at you and I wanted to slap those glasses off of your face. How dare you keep pushing your ugly fakeass bag on my shoulder! I don’t like the fact that the train was crowded and then you were sitting there at the door not saying anything to anyone not even excuse me or anything! I could slap a perm in your hair...just because I hope that I don’t see you again, and if I do I hope you look like something better than you did before!

PEAS TO PEAS

PHILLY DRIVERS KILLED MY CAT

EATING ME OUT!

FATTY GIRL!

pretend that I am sleeping so that you can do it more and more! I love the fact that you are just one of a kind and I can’t replace you with nobody else. I love the fact that you are just so damn sexy in it bed makes me wanna fuck you more and more! I hope that you read this because you are what really matters to me!

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BULLSHIT!

the fact that you don’t say anything to me and I don’t say anything to you. If you were somewhere drowning I wouldn’t throw anything into the water to save you! I like the fact that you think that you are better than me! News Flash-bitch. I look better, smell better and I know that I look way younger than you ever will in your entire life!

the naked city | feature | a&e | the agenda | food

[ i love you, i hate you ]

26

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J u l y 7 - J u l y 1 3 , 2 0 1 1 | C i t y Pa P e r . n e t

1 6 10 14 15 16 17 19 20 21 23 24 25 27 31 32 33 37 38 39 40 42 43 44 47 49 50 51 53 56 58

Stirs (up) The Emerald Isle Far from appetizing Go with the flow ___: First Class Matty or Felipe of baseball Result of The Hulk’s first press conference? Darkness Toilet paper layer Two-___ (some bathing suits) Wanna-___ (poseurs) Half of zwei Font close to Verdana Where a journalist’s stories get turned in Iditarod finish line Analgesic target Rather than Greek letters that look like P’s Shoes near the Reeboks and Nikes Ceremonial act Come out on top Yours and mine, in the sticks “I screwed up” Jon running for president Chinese fondue Indie rock band ___ Riot Tool paired with a bucket Huffington behind the Huffington Post ___-tai (cocktail) Working away “Let’s see who can prepare for their colonoscopy first,” et al.?

60 Jupiter’s Greek counterpart 61 Scott Baio co-star Moran 62 “Moon Over ___” (original theme song for The Drew Carey Show) 63 Muppet who speaks in the third person 64 Stunned state 65 French section of the Alps

Down 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 18 22 24 26 27 28 29 30

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©2011 Jonesin’ Crosswords (editor@jonesincrosswords.com)

34 35 36 38 41 45 46 47 48 50 52 53 54 55 57 59

Gloomy ___ vez (again, in Spanish) Actress Sherilyn of Twin Peaks Soaked up Early baseball Hall-of-Famer ___ Rixey Word said a lot by Mork Vagabonds Baltic Avenue building Headwear for Miss America Activity on a placemat Tombstone locale: abbr. Game show producer Griffin Sphere start Words before “old chap” 1800s Chinese general now found on menus Lamb lament

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45

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the naked city | feature | a&e | the agenda | food

Business Opportunity

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BICYCLE TUNE UPS $55 plus tax VOLPE CYCLES

115 S. 22nd Street 8am-9pm Mon-Fri, 9am-6pm Sat-Sun May not be combined with other offers. Visit www.volpecycles.com for details.

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GREAT AMERICAN GUITAR SHOW– OAKS, PA. July 16-17, Greater Philadelphia Expo Center.

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RECLAIMED TIMBER BENCHES ON STEEL LEGS Designed by local architect. Hand made with an elegant emphasis on detail to connections & materiality. Great for dining rooms, kitchens, the foot of the bed or your garden. For inquires & literature, call 215.923.1115

Call for Artists/Performers

To perform LIVE on-stage for music industry professionals. Get Discovered, Get Signed, Get Gigs! Showcase Coming Soon! Call Immediately: 215-222-7127

CORSETS & CLUBWEAR

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7&3: (00% “..#&&3 -*45 )"4 (308/ 50 &1*$ 1301035*0/4 ,*5$)&/ )"4 "%%&% "/ &953" #&-- 8*5) 1&3)"14 5)& $*5:Âľ4 #&45 '3*5&4 40.& 45&--"3 #&&3 #"55&3&% '*4) "/% 7&3: (00% .644&-4Âł Craig LeBan, Philadelphia Inquirer, Revisited April 2007

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