Philadelphia City Paper, July 28th, 2011 by Philadelphia City Paper

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citypaper.net 123 Chestnut Street, Third Floor, Phila., PA 19106. 215-735-8444, Tip Line 215-7358444 ext. 241, Letters to the Editor editorial@citypaper.net, Listings Fax 215-8751800, Classified Ads 215-248-CITY, Advertising Fax 215-735-8535, Subscriptions 215-735-8444 ext. 235 Philadelphia City Paper is published and distributed every Thursday in Philadelphia, Montgomery, Chester, Bucks & Delaware Counties, in South Jersey and in Northern Delaware. Philadelphia City Paper is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. Additional copies may be purchased from our main office at $1 per copy. No person may, without prior written permission from Philadelphia City Paper, take more than one copy of each issue. Pennsylvania law prohibits any person from inserting printed material of any kind into any newspaper without the consent of the owner or publisher. Contents copyright ÂŠ 2011, Philadelphia City Paper. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced without written permission from the publisher. Philadelphia City Paper assumes no obligation (other than cancellation of charges for actual space occupied) for accidental errors in advertising, but will be glad to furnish a signed letter to the buying public.

We put our energy into looking out for you. " ! " " " ! " % " $ $ ! " # & !

contents Not our cup of tea

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2011

Movies.........................................................................................23 The Agenda ..............................................................................28 Food & Drink ...........................................................................34 COVER ILLUSTRATION BY EVAN M. LOPEZ DESIGN BY RESECA PESKIN

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naked

the thebellcurve CP’s Quality-o-Life-o-Meter

[ + 1]

A Daily News columnist speculates that Mayor Michael Nutter is eyeing an Obama appointment. “Which job gets to shut down the Library of Congress?”

[ 0]

Two state reps say they are writing legislation to bar people convicted of sex crimes from collecting city pensions. Good call. We need those people nice and desperate.

[ + 4]

A $42 million state grant keeps a shipbuilding operation going at the Navy Yard. Soon the Urban Outfitters Armada will be complete and ready to sail to foreign ports, seizing their novelty lunch boxes and bombing their navies with powderblue Ghostbusters T-shirts set ablaze.

[ 0]

Philly and New York City chefs declare a three-day “cheesecake war.” You guys know that as a nation we’re still fighting several non-cheesecake wars, right?

[ 0]

At the request of a local preservation group, police prohibit swimming at Devil’s Pool along the Wissahickon in Fairmount Park. “Sorry you guys,” says Devil, pulling off his swimmies. “I guess we can all go frolfing or something.”

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[ + 3]

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[ 0]

Gov. Corbett’s Marcellus Shale commission argues that gas pipelines ought to be regulated. Then, as with everyone who disappoints Corbett, they begin sputtering, and grabbing at their throats, almost as if they were being choked even though no one touched them. Former Gov. Ed Rendell reportedly dates a 33-year-old Peruvian-born bombshell. “Back home I raised alpacas,” she shrugs. “If nothing else, I’m gonna get some decent sweaters out of the deal.”

[ + 1]

The Daily News undergoes a redesign. Now it’s just 50 pages of Eagles cheerleaders eating crab fries.

[ - 2]

A local man is charged with trafficking African elephant ivory. “What? No. These are just candy canes,” he says. And then to prove it he starts, like, fucking gnawing on this giant elephant tusk. The sound is awful, a horrific cracking and chipping as his teeth just grind away to powder, but nobody stops him. So he keeps at it.

This week’s total: 7 | Last week’s total: -2

THOMAS PITILLI

[ a million stories ]

� DECLINE AND FALL Has a loud-mouthed blogger been silenced by threats from the local elite? That’s what some political junkies have been wondering ever since

where you live’ letters to my family.”

Proctor declined to comment further about the alleged threats, however, and refused to name names. Freedom, he says, is not necessarily casting insults at the powerful with the stroke of a pen. It’s “living my life and not looking over my shoulder.” —Holly Otterbein

phillydecline.com, a local politics blog, shut down this month without explanation. Aaron Proctor, the former site’s 29year-old author and a self-described “Tea Party patriot,” has made a name for himself throughout the past few years for being a firebrand — even by Philly standards. He was celebrated (and hated) for sticking it not only to the usual suspects, like schools superintendent Arlene Ackerman and electricians union head John Dougherty, but to fellow conservatives and local heroes, too. He called the city’s finance department “Mayor Nutter’s Bitch Boys”; wrote that City Council candidate Michael Untermeyer smelled bad; and wondered “how many cans of Steel Reserve” GOP mayoral candidate Karen Brown drank before a debate. On his site, no one was safe — not even local leaders whose supporters, Proctor claimed, routinely sent him hate mail. Daily News columnist Stu Bykofsky, who dedicated a 600-word article to Proctor, called him “part gadfly, part H.L. Mencken, part Howard Stern” and endearingly said he “won’t shut up.” But then, out of nowhere, he did just that. City Paper tracked down Proctor. He quit, he says, for a few reasons. For one thing, he’s “sick of this ‘left-right’ shit,” and admitted that he “started saying things I didn’t even believe in, just because I had to ‘pick a side.’” He also says he grew tired of “wellconnected and above-the-law people who do stuff like send ‘I know

� ARCH WARRIOR Do you feel there is something missing from your life, Philadelphia? Do you long for more high-profile fights over abortion and homosexuality waged under the aegis of the Holy Trinity? Is Rick Santorum’s presidential campaign just not doing it for you?

Amid a widespread sexualabuse scandal that has led to the indictment of priests and a higher-up church official, Pope Benedict has appointed a relentless culture warrior, Denver Archbishop Charles Chaput, to replace the discredited Cardinal Justin Rigali as Archbishop of Philadelphia’s Catholic Church. Chaput, as The New York Times says, is “known for his aggressive public opposition to abortion and same-sex marriage.” Aggressive indeed. In 2004, he told Catholics that if they voted for John Kerry they were “cooperating in evil” and needed “to go to confession” because of the Democrat’s support for abortion rights. This past April, he rallied Colorado Catholics against a civil unions bill, saying it was “about securing legitimacy for social arrangements

A blogger who “won’t shut up” did.

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� A Million Stories <<< continued from previous page

and personal behaviors that most societies and religious traditions have found problematic from long experience” and calling gay-rights activists the purveyors of “the real bigotry in this debate.” And while Chaput has taken well-publicized action against one priest accused of abuse, he has also campaigned against holding child sex abusers accountable. He vigorously opposed Colorado legislation to lift the statute of limitations on sexual abuse, safeguarding church coffers — and protecting geriatric molesters from prosecution. And incredibly, according to the Inquirer, “in a case last year involving a woman who said she had been raped by a lay minister, the archdiocese defended itself with the argument that sexual abuse lay outside the scope of a minister’s duties. Thus, the church hierarchy could not be held financially liable, it argued.” Many of the 1.5 million members of the Philadelphia Archdiocese are demanding justice and reform — as is the rest of the city and, for that matter, the district attorney. The outspoken Chaput, however, may deliver distractions instead: gays, abortion and popular culture, oh my! —Daniel Denvir

� WALK THIS WAY Last week, the website Walk Score released its 2011 rankings for the walkability of U.S. cities. When it comes to the 50 largest cities, Philadelphia ranks fifth with a score of 74.1 out of 100. Rankings were calculated by grading cities block by block for proximity to stores, restaurants, parks and other amenities. The website’s Philly map at walkscore.com/PA/Philadelphia is

worth checking out for a color-coded look at the most walkable areas. Not surprisingly, swaths of green-colored pedestrian friendliness are found in neighborhoods such as Center City, University City, Fishtown and Pennsport. You can type in a specific address, too. We plugged in an address on the Manayunk/Roxborough border that merited a surprisingly high score of 83. Sure, there are plenty of amenities within a few blocks. But did those Walk Score researchers really try to hike up that hill from Main Street? —Theresa Everline

� TWO CP STAFFERS WIN BIG City Paper food/Meal Ticket blog/web editor Drew Lazor and staff writer Holly Otterbein each won first place in the 2011 AltWeekly Awards, given out by the Association of Alternative Newsweeklies at its national conference held last week. In the toot-our-own-horn category, these are huge accomplishments for these worthy CPers. Lazor got top honors for best food writing, based on stories he wrote about Bistro La Minette’s chef, the Central American grocery/eatery El Gallo Pinto, and our city’s best pizzas. Otterbein led the pack for arts feature writing for her cover story “The Island.” It’s a rollicking account of the artist who paid homage to the curious history of Petty’s Island, which sits in the middle of the Delaware River. Read the stories — or, we hope, reread them — at archives. citypaper.net.

Chaput may deliver only distractions.

—Theresa Everline

feedback From our readers

GROWING AIMS Converting some of Philadelphia’s vacant lots to urban farming could be viewed differently if the city recognized the distinction between commercial and noncommercial urban farming [“The Urban Gardens Dilemma,” Isaiah Thompson, July 21, 2011]. What urban farming advocates and policymakers are missing is a recognition that networks of sub-acre-scale commercial urban farms can produce significant economic activity. That is because there have not been any commercial urban farming production models. Many may not know of the Somerton Tanks Farm project, a half-acre commercial farm operated on Philadelphia Water Department land from 2003 to 2006. Its sole purpose was to demonstrate the economic viability of urban farming. In its fourth year the farm generated $68,000 gross from just over 20,000 square feet of growing space. The farm model, its economics and the tax benefits of commercial urban farming to the city were documented in a 2007 study by Urban Partners funded by the Pennsylvania Department of Community and Economic Development. Only when urban farming is practiced as a legitimate entrepreneurial activity, rather than a charity, will it garner the serious support it needs to become established on a meaningful scale. Roxanne Christensen

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[ is a ﬁrebrand even by philly standards ]

CO-FOUNDER, SOMERTON TA N K S FA R M P R O J E C T C O - A U T H O R , S P I N - FA R M I N G ®

photostream ³ submit to photostream@citypaper.net

GARY E. IRWIN/ GARYEIRWIN

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“Hot”

THE PRISON SYSTEM RESPONDS Regarding Holly Otterbein’s article “Glass Ceiling” [July 7, 2011] and blog post “Another Woman Alleges Gender Discrimination Under Prisons Head Louis Giorla” [July 13, 2011]: In December 2009, Prisons Commissioner Louis Giorla appointed then-Warden Clyde Gainey as deputy commissioner of operations. After careful review and consideration of the eligible candidates, both within the Philadelphia Prison System and outside, Giorla recommended Gainey for the position, and deputy mayor for public safety Everett Gillison approved the appointment. As sometimes happens in a coveted position, two employees are disappointed they were not chosen, and have filed complaints, based on claims of gender discrimination. It would be inappropriate to comment on those complaints when they are in litigation, except to say that the selection of Gainey was in no way based on race or gender but rather on specific job experience and knowledge of prison operations at every level of the chain of command. Literally half the employees at the Philadelphia Prison System are female. Over the past 25 years, women have risen through the ranks, and now

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[ the naked city ]

� Feedback

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<<< continued from page 7

exercise authority in every division of this department. In her article, Otterbein suggests that the position of deputy commissioner was never posted, and that her subjects, Harriet Spencer and Joyce Brown Adams, were never considered. This is an appointed position, and as such, is not “posted” any more than the position of commissioner is “posted.” The commissioner knew these particular candidates and knew well their qualifications. The commissioner made an appointment based on his knowledge of the candidates, and a thorough review of their records, their abilities and their experience. Finally, an academic degree doesn’t trump all in this environment. Gainey’s supervision of the construction of the Curran-Fromhold Correctional Facility and then his effective management of it — the largest and most complex operation in the system — were significant factors in the decision. Robert Eskind P U B L I C I N F O R M AT I O N O F F I C E R , PHILADELPHIA PRISON SYSTEM

IN VIEW OF LAND Having dealt with the city and various agencies, including the Department of Public Property, the Vacant Property Review Committee, and the RDA, I say let the market decide [“Once Vacant Land, Still Vacant Land,” Isaiah Thompson, July 21, 2011, Naked City blog]. To believe that politicians and bureaucrats can come up with the best use for real estate is insanity. The city should put all of its properties on the market so that interested parties with adequate funding can negotiate to purchase them. As far as how the parcels should be developed, there is a mechanism in place to guide the process, namely, L&I, zoning, neighborhood input, etc. The city needs the revenue from sales,

and projects will move forward as they are approved by the various stakeholders and permitted according to code. Polaris V I A C I T Y PA P E R . N E T

CHEWED OUT I am a frequent reader of City Paper and I was dismayed by “The Food Issue” [July 14, 2011]. The heart of your feature were stories about ice cream a 30-year-old restaurant that is considered in many circles passe. Philly is a city whose restaurant scene has exploded over the last decade. With both chefs and consumers committed to a farm-to-table philosophies, City Paper dropped the ball here. In the nearly 30 years I’ve called Philly my home, I’ve never been more excited by the food scene then I am now, and no part of “The Food Issue” touched one nerve of that excitement. Bonnie Shuman M A N A G E R , P R E PA R E D F O O D S , W E A V E R S W AY C O - O P CHESTNUT HILL � We welcome and encourage your feedback. Mail letters to Feedback, City Paper, 123 Chestnut St., 3rd Floor, Phila., PA 19106. E-mail editorial@citypaper.net or comment online at citypaper.net. Submissions may be edited for clarity and space.

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Southern Poverty Law Center has designated a hate group. FAIR has, among other things, received extensive funding from the white supremacist Pioneer Fund, and group leaders like founder John Tanton have made numerous racist statements, such as a 1993 letter stating that “for European-American society and culture to persist requires a European-American majority, and a clear one at that.” Metcalfe has also spoken alongside Dan Smeriglio, an ally in Pennsylvania’s antiimmigrant movement and alleged white supremacist, including at a 2007 rally organized by Smeriglio’s Voice of The People USA organization. Metcalfe even spoke at a June 2010 rally in Phoenix organized by Smeriglio to support the state’s harsh new anti-immigrant law — a rally that even anti-immigrant leader William Gheen boycotted as a result of Smeriglio’s white power ties. Gheen noted at the time that Smeriglio had appeared with Steve Smith, leader of the racist skinhead organization Keystone United, at an antiimmigrant rally in Hazelton, Pa. Smeriglio also listed the white supremacist singersongwriter Saga as a favorite musical act on Facebook, where Metcalfe and Smeriglio were both Smith’s “friends.”

feature

METCALFE’SRISE ome insiders say that Daryl Metcalfe was meant to be a sideshow, and that Republican leaders — House Majority Leader Mike Turzai and Speaker Sam Smith — gave him control of the State Government Committee so that he could stay busy with dead-end and polarizing social issues and away from serious matters like, say, the budget. “They appease him,” says a political source from the heart of Metcalfe’s district. “And they’ll give him things that will get him off their back.” If so, the plan might have backfired: Putting Metcalfe in charge of pushing right-wing social legislation made him more, and not less, powerful. Metcalfe, say Rep. Josephs and others, uses his newly influential bloc of legislators to increase his leverage within the party. They allege that he rallied right-wing Republicans to vote “no” on Republican Gov. Corbett’s budget. Though the budget made dramatic cuts to education and social welfare spending, Metcalfe, they say, argued it didn’t cut deeply enough. >>> continued on page 12

HE FOUNDED A COALITION OF ANTIIMMIGRATION STATE LEGISLATORS.

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via poisoned food; and who claims to “have the government documents where they said they’re going to encourage homosexuality with chemicals so that people don’t have children.” During his appearance, Metcalfe did not contest Jones’ statement that “federal Homeland Security is fully infiltrated” by the Israeli government and that “Israeli art students” involved in the 9/11 attacks were now in Nevada undertaking surveillance against the National Security Agency. Instead, Metcalfe responded that Obama and other political enemies “embrace these socialist leftist policies of the Eastern Bloc nations that when I was in the military, we were prepared to go to war against during the Cold War.” Metcalfe has used such inflammatory rhetoric before. In a 2009 statement, he called anyone joining Operation Free, a group of environmentalist war veterans, “a traitor to the oath he or she took to defend the Constitution of our great nation!” And yet it is Metcalfe who has associated with people who pledge to take up arms against the government. In 2010, he announced he would speak at an Ohio meeting of the Federal Immigration Reform and Enforcement Coalition alongside a representative of the right-wing militia group Oath Keepers, which calls for police and soldiers to mount an armed resistance when the time comes that the Obama administration declares martial law and forces Americans into concentration camps. Of all the ideological fancies, it is Metcalfe’s involvement in the anti-immigrant movement that has made him a right-wing rising star. He has cultivated relationships with Fox News regulars such as Arizona State Senate President Russell Pearce, who drafted that state’s anti-immigrant legislation, and former Colorado Congressman Tom Tancredo, a onetime anti-immigrant presidential candidate who has called for the bombing of Mecca. In January, when Metcalfe founded a coalition of anti-immigrant state legislators who pledge to eliminate birthright citizenship for the children of noncitizens granted by the 14th Amendment, his name landed in media nationwide, from The New York Times to Fox News. It has also brought Metcalfe and other rightwing Republicans into contact with alleged white supremacists. Metcalfe’s group State Lawmakers for Legal Immigration works closely with the Federation for American Immigration Reform (FAIR), an anti-immigrant organization that the

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State Rep. Daryl Metcalfe

Second Amendment advocacy to a more potent form of political theater. Though it’s not supposed to be comedy, Philadelphia ends up the butt of the joke. “This cultural problem is the breakdown of the family and the subsequent absence of positive parental influences and supervision in children’s lives,” he said in 2006, explaining why he opposed gun control as a means of fighting violent crime in Philadelphia. “Absent fathers, financial hardship and lack of meaningful parental influence and availability in children’s lives are a disastrous formula for social unrest and violence.” “Philadelphia,” said West Philly Rep. James Roebuck, responding to Metcalfe and others,“is not the center of evil as some of you suggest.” Metcalfe’s legislation often targets racial and religious minorities. In 2006, he blocked a resolution honoring a Muslim organization because, he explained, “The Muslims do not recognize Jesus Christ as God.” (He later defended his remarks, saying that he objected to comparing the organization’s beliefs to those of William Penn, a Christian.) In response, then-Gov. Ed Rendell told the Inquirer, “I don’t think I have agreed with anything Rep. Metcalfe said in the last three or four years, and that statement doesn’t change anything. … I don’t think many people take much of what Rep. Metcalfe says seriously.” Metcalfe also introduced “birther” legislation that would require presidential candidates to prove they are citizens, fueled by the discredited theory that President Obama is not; with more dire consequences, his voter ID bill could significantly depress voter turnout since the poor, elderly, black and Latino are far less likely to possess identification. “My district is probably 80 to 90 percent African-American,” says Rep. Vanessa Brown, who represents parts of West and North Philly. “The disheartening part of this bill is that it will affect seniors between 80 and 100 years old — and these are the seniors who fought for the vote for all African-Americans.” Metcalfe’s agenda has made him a number of friends and fans on the political fringe. In October 2010, he decided to appear on the radio show of popular conspiracist Alex Jones, who believes that 9/11 was an “inside job”; who promotes the idea that Obama and a secret global cabal of bankers is going to round up Americans in FEMA-operated concentration camps before setting into motion a eugenics plan that will wipe out 80 percent of the human population

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“I’VE HAD MODERATE REPUBLICANS ASK, ‘WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR DISTRICT?’”

RIGHT MAKES MIGHT Leaders then promised Metcalfe support on his voter ID legislation in exchange for rightwing support for the budget. “I think he blackmailed them,” says Josephs, who regularly clashes with Metcalfe as minority chair of the State Government Committee. “I think that what Metcalfe did was get 16 or 17 people who also don’t care about Corbett or whether the budget is on time. And he went to Turzai and Smith and said, ‘You pass this bill on voter ID or we’re not voting for the budget on time.’” Republicans counter that party leadership embraced the voter ID legislation — so there would be no reason for a quid pro quo. “How would [Josephs] know that?” asks Steve Miskin, spokesman for Turzai. “Rep. Metcalfe voted for the budget and never once whipped votes against it. He never even spoke out against the budget. That’s ludicrous.” Rep. Jaret Gibbons, a Western Pennsylvania Democrat, also doubts the horse-trading allegation, saying that Republicans all have a direct interest in keeping likely Democrats from voting. “I think it was more political than ideological legislation,” he says, unlike other Metcalfe bills that “truly are social conserva-

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tive legislation that may have some dissension within the Republican caucus.” Whatever happened behind the Republicans’ closed doors, it is clear that the right wing has controlled the party since the 2010 elections, when Corbett, a former prosecutor with a moderate reputation, faced a primary challenge from Berks County state Rep. (and Tea Partier) Sam Rohrer. In an effort to shore up right-wing support, Corbett signed a “no new taxes” pledge with fiscal conservative and Washington power broker Grover Norquist, and promised to deliver the budget on time, signaling from the get-go that his governorship would be loyal to the Tea Party. Metcalfe and Rohrer — the latter now state director of the Tea Party organization Americans for Prosperity — won’t let him forget that. “I don’t think the governor is the driver here on some of these legislative initiatives,” says former Rep. Karen Beyer. “I think they come from the members on the right.” Beyer says moderates should exercise their swing vote to push legislation that has majority public support, like a tax on natural gas. And she warns that if Republicans continue to pursue far-right policies, they will lose seats to

Democrats in Philly’s moderate suburbs. Metcalfe’s legislative predecessor, Pat Carone Krebs, agrees. “I’ve had moderate Republicans in the House caucus say to me,‘What happened to your district, Pat?’” says Krebs, who has an unusual vantage point, having switched from Democrat to Republican. “They elected you, and they elected Daryl?”

IDEOLOGUEOROPPORTUNIST? ike many right-wing state legislators nationwide, Daryl Metcalfe is a member of the American Legislative Exchange Council (ALEC), which produces model legislation drafted in part by big business. This year, ALEC has come under criticism for its role in pushing legislation like Wisconsin’s anti-union bill.What’s surprising is that Pennsylvania taxpayers pick up the tab for Metcalfe’s involvement. Documents obtained by City Paper from the Pennsylvania State Ethics Commission show that ALEC reimbursed Metcalfe $832.91 for its 2007 conference in Philadelphia, a “scholarship” funded by major corporations. And state documents obtained by good-government group Common Cause and reviewed by CP reveal that taxpayers also reimbursed >>> continued on page 14

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“A REAL CONSERVATIVE SAYS ‘NO’ TO JOHN PERZEL. HE SAID ‘YES’ TO PERZEL.”

RIGHT MAKES MIGHT Metcalfe $509.25 in per diems, membership dues and other expenses for that meeting. Since 2007, taxpayers have footed $1,164 in ALEC expenses for the self-professed small-government advocate. He isn’t the only Republican steering taxpayer dollars to the conservative advocacy group — other legislators also had fees and per diems covered. That same year, the documents also show that a $50,000 appropriation to cater the ALEC meeting was added into the state budget, a food bill footed by taxpayers that included $30,450 in roasted chicken breast and $3,000 for cheesecake lollipops.The budget outlay was described as “for the payment of expenses related to hosting conferences, meetings or conventions of multistage organizations which protect the member states’ interests or which promote governmental financial excellence or accountability.” Metcalfe’s agenda more or less mirrors that of ALEC model legislation, including efforts to compel local police to enforce immigration laws and prohibit localities like Philly from enacting their own gun restrictions. “He’s a true conservative,” says Mike Pintek, host of a Pittsburgh talk radio show on which Metcalfe often appears. “He’s not one of these

Republican In Name Only-type of guys.” But Guzzardi, the influential Ardmore-based conservative, says that Metcalfe is more of an opportunist than an ideologue, pointing to his support for the moderate and allegedly corrupt Republican leadership of years past. He calls Metcalfe a “hack,” even though Guzzardi’s own “Liberty Index” gives Metcalfe sky-high ratings. “If you’re a real conservative, you say ‘no’ to John Perzel. He said ‘yes’ to John Perzel.” Metcalfe supported Perzel, the ousted and indicted Philadelphia Republican, House Speaker and Majority Leader — an awesomely powerful state politician and a consummate deal-maker always ready to sacrifice ideology for the sake of action. Metcalfe received help early in his career from the New Jerseybased and Perzel-allied political consultants at the David Millner Group. He also said “yes” with dollars: Friends of Daryl Metcalfe made frequent donations to the House Republican Campaign Committee, an organization controlled partly by Perzel and the alleged operations center for illegally using taxpayer funds to carry out campaign work, part of what’s known as the bipartisan Bonusgate scandal. Indeed, according to two sources, Metcalfe’s

conduct was also the subject of a previously undisclosed 2008 grand jury investigation for illegally using taxpayer funds for campaigns, though he was never indicted. Former Metcalfe staffer Kimberly Bartley was called to testify before the grand jury, according to her mother, Debbie Bartley. “I went with her to Pittsburgh to testify,” she says, but “nothing ever came of it.” A separate person with direct knowledge of the proceedings confirmed Bartley’s account, and another source says that Metcalfe was interviewed by two investigators from the Attorney General’s office on the subject. Liberals accused then-Attorney General Corbett of carrying out a partisan investigation, which only netted Perzel after numerous Democrats had been indicted. Although Corbett had said other investigations were ongoing, nothing has been heard since.

ENEMIESINBOTHPARTIES etcalfe has a reputation for being difficult, and neither his personal nor his political styles have gone over well with many at home. He often runs candidates against local town>>> continued on page 16

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â&#x20AC;&#x153;AS OF LAST YEAR, HE HAD ONLY WRITTEN ONE PIECE OF LEGISLATION THAT PASSED.â&#x20AC;?

RIGHT MAKES MIGHT ship officials, and orchestrated a bitter fight for control of the countyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Republican committee â&#x20AC;&#x201D; a shock to people accustomed to a bipartisan, nuts-and-bolts Butler County political scene. But while a right-wing Tea Partier might seem an odd fit for the suburban district, affluent Pittsburgh commuters in the areaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s booming subdivisions donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t vote. And Metcalfe, said to keep only a Bible on his desk, turns out the religious right, a group more concerned with political warfare than constituent services. â&#x20AC;&#x153;As of last year, he had only written one piece of legislation that passed,â&#x20AC;? says Zack Byrnes, 26, the soft-spoken development director for the Blind Association of Butler and Armstrong Counties who was Metcalfeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Democratic challenger in 2010. â&#x20AC;&#x153;It changed the name of a local bridge.â&#x20AC;? Metcalfe also infuriated local officials when he opposed state funding for a local park, and they say he did nothing to support a major highway project. In 2006, Metcalfe and then-Butler County Republican Committee Chairman Jim Powers sought to expel committee candidates who had endorsed Democrats in a local school board

race. One of the candidates accused Metcalfe of punishing her for supporting Arlen Specter against conservative challenger (and now senator) Pat Toomey. â&#x20AC;&#x153;He is extremely methodical in his dislike of people,â&#x20AC;? says Joan Chew, a longtime power broker in the local Republican Party establishment and one of the offending committeepersons. â&#x20AC;&#x153;It just goes step one, step two, step three. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I tried to change the bylaws to reflect,â&#x20AC;? says Powers, that â&#x20AC;&#x153;youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re not allowed to go out and endorse a Democrat because thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not what weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re trying to go out and do.â&#x20AC;? But Metcalfe and Powers also appear to have supported a Democrat â&#x20AC;&#x201D; when it suited them. In 2008, Metcalfe allegedly supported Democrat Dave Root (Powers would say only that Root is â&#x20AC;&#x153;a friend of both Daryl and myselfâ&#x20AC;?) in his successful campaign against Republican Cranberry supervisor Chuck Caputy. Five years earlier, Metcalfe pressed charges against Caputy, whom he accused of purposely bumping into his daughter at the mall where Caputy worked as a manager at JCPenney. Harassment charges were thrown out, and some accuse Metcalfe of carrying out

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a political vendetta to punish Republican township supervisors who endorsed Metcalfeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Democratic opponent in the 2002 election. Little is known about Metcalfe the man. His website states that the upstate New York native attended Kansas State University but does not indicate that he received a degree. He served four years in the Army and eventually made his way to Western Pennsylvania to repair medical devices. Metcalfe is secretive to the point that he refuses to let janitors clean his office in the Cranberry Township office building. â&#x20AC;&#x153;He will not allow anyone to clean his office after heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s left because he has â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;secret documents,â&#x20AC;&#x2122;â&#x20AC;? says Democratic Butler County Commissioner James Lokhaiser, who complained about Metcalfeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s obsessive focus on immigrants. He is a mystery to many colleagues in the House, too, a loner who rarely socializes with other legislators. But Metcalfe didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t come to Harrisburg to, as they say, make friends. Democrats face corruption indictments and political marginalization, moderate Republicans are cowed by the Tea Party, and a loud voice with a pair of sharp elbows has eagerly filled the void. (daniel.denvir@citypaper.net)

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icepack By A.D. Amorosi

³ IF YOU’RE WILLING to call a benefit “I Got

Cancer,” you must be hardcore about its treatment. That’s what Beth Lejman Stack of Philly’s avantpunk-funk legends The Stickmen has dubbed her July 30 date at Connie’s Ric Rac, starring Blessed Muthas, FOD, Trained Attack Dogs, DJ Danny Kelly, my new fave band 25 Cromwell Street (Bunny Savage and hurdy-gurdy man and CP contributor (see next page) Rodney Anonymous, among others) and a reunited Bunnydrums who just re-released 1983’s seminal PDK. Diagnosed with stage 3A lung cancer, Stack is intent on beating the disease.To quote her Facebook event invite:“Cancer don’t stand a chance. I’m gonna kick its goddamn ass. If anyone can, a Stickman can.” Her East Coast Ghost pal Dennis McHugh, who put together the benefit, puts it less profanely: “It’s about Philly punks uniting for a fight for one of our own.” If you can’t make it, there’s a PayPal account (BALstack@aol. com) to benefit Lejman’s battle. ³ In further oldpunk news, John Gilmour’s planning a reunion for his old band, the snotty She-Males, come August. Before then, his even-snottier Acidfinger has a North Star gig July 31 that’ll benefit no one. ³ Jose Garces’ bid to become Abe Frohman, sausage king of Philly, might not happen at 13th Street’s Letto Deli space until early 2012; meanwhile his Scottsdale, Ariz., Distrito is gaining speed. ³ Our good friend Tim Bowen — Bonehead guitarist, Bar Noir builder, the man behind the late great Falling Cow Gallery on Fourth Street — returns to the scene of his last crime when he fills up the vacant storefront at 727 S. Fourth with paintings ripe with colorfully catty commentary starting July 29. If you’re lucky, you may even catch Bowen at the gallery space. ³ August is getting jacked by forcefully soulsonic recordings.While the funky fresh Wyldlyfe self-release their debut CD, My American Dream, King Britt’s sci-fi duo with singer/producer/poet Rucyl, Saturn Never Sleeps, drops Yesterday’s Machine. ³ With my neighbors Devil’s Den and Hawthornes bubbling over with crafty beer-anddining crowds, it’s no wonder S. 11th’s Kristian’s Ristorante is set to bounce back in Sept. Closed since ’09, the spot’s due for a shorter name and a casual menu. Right around the corner on 10th, my long-ago Meal Ticketed Santuccci’s Pizza parlor should be ret-to-roar ASAP. ³ I don’t know what I like more: slathering on Kiehl’s or eating Chef Jen Carroll’s menu at 10 Arts. Come Aug. 1, I can get both sensations when Jen hosts Kiehl’s LifeRide for amfAR (American Foundation for AIDS Research) at the creamerie’s Rittenhouse location at 11 a.m. with celeb motorcyclists Tyson Beckford and Mark-Paul Gosselaar in on the race. ³ Ice gets illustrated at citypaper.net/criticalmass. (a_amorosi@citypaper.net)

PEOPLE POWERED: On a vacant Broad Street lot, the Miss Rockaway Armada crew scraps together a flotilla of found materials. JESSICA KOURKOUNIS

[ sculptural sustainability ]

ALL FLOAT ON The Miss Rockaway Armada’s sailing through town on a green dream built from scratch. By A.D. Amorosi

he block that holds the Broad Street Ministry and Gamble & Huff’s Sound of Philadelphia offices has witnessed a lot of diverse theatricality. Hardcore punks. Religious devotees. Billy Paul in his “Fly” heyday. Yet the visually arresting drama that resides in the vacant lot next to the Ministry through the end of the summer is the best show in town. On a daily heat-beating, sweat-beading basis, men and women in various degrees of undress have turned the sandy, stony grounds into a cross between a carny’s delight, a Mad Max flea market and something the gentlemen of Storage Wars and the Seaport Museum would salivate over. “This whole thing is quite a doozy,” Philadelphia Art Alliance (PAA) programs director Alex Styer says of the Miss Rockaway Armada, a collective whose participants have been busy building rafts and barges tall and clunky for their salvaged flotilla masterpiece. What is this “whole thing,” exactly? The crew of the Miss Rockaway Armada (MRA) is constructing a traveling art installation they’re calling “Let Me Tell You About a Dream I Had,” built of floating sculptures. Eventually they’ll reconstruct and mount the fleet in the tony confines of PAA, off the corner of Rittenhouse Square — but not before the flotilla launches upon the Schuylkill,

docks at Walnut Street for interactive performances and gets transformed into land-traveling floats that’ll steamroll through University City and Kensington. Throughout the process, notions of utopia, green living, freedom and reconstruction will come into play. “We’re trying to make something like a map of our potential place in the world — a map with a lot of detours that flows from and into many tributaries, backwaters, sloughs, marshes, rapids and snags,” says Vermont native Anna Ialeggio, an MRA crew member since 2007. “I see a potentially beautiful act composed of other acts, based in hope perhaps, with no result and no perpetuity, but not without a certain derelict and ferocious dignity.”

“A potentially beautiful act composed of other acts.”

³ RIGHT NOW, THOUGH, that

dignity — and the “Dream” itself — is happily in tatters on that hot lot on Broad. “We’re sweating, but we’re having a pretty good time,” says Pittsburgh’s Ian Page, who compares the installation to a potluck dinner. “It’s that phenomenon where everybody brings the right thing — a protein, a dessert, a vegetable.” From the looks of this wild accumulation, ambrosia could soon follow. Rows and piles of boxes filled with baby dolls, gears, flags, school desks, paintings, pipes, children’s toys, lightbulbs and other flotsam are hanging about amid plank upon plank of wood. Everything — including a kitchen sink — is there, along with toilets and other porcelain goodies. Bureaus and dresser drawers are strewn throughout the construction site along with stacks of tin oil barrels and a few wooden ones. In the back of the lot is a storage >>> continued on page 21

the naked city | feature

[ all doe eyes and nervous tics ] ³ folk/pop

If Red Hen Stringband weren’t thoroughly traditional, the Wepecket label wouldn’t have anything to do with ’em. But that endorsement doesn’t preclude this typical stringband — fiddle, banjo, guitar, bass — from attacking “Walk Like an Egyptian,” though the track was sadly struck from their latest, Birds of a Feather, at the last minute. Next time, for sure. Bassist Allan Carr, currently residing in this area with wife fiddler Jane Rothfield, is a Scot by birth and rearing. The songs he brings to the repertoire are living example of Appalachian music’s evolution from the old songs and dances of the British Isles. —Mary Armstrong

Superficially, the eponymous second Bon Iver album (Jagjaguwar) is a radically different beast from Justin Vernon’s rapturously admired debut — texturally expansive and opulent where its predecessor was solitary and sparse; trading wispy folk for gooey, Oldenburgian Soft Pop. But the fundamental allure remains. Vernon is, essentially, indiedom’s pre-eminent purveyor of ambience. Bon Iver plays the Tower on —K. Ross Hoffman Wednesday (Aug. 3, livenation.com).

Still armed with that stratocumulus voice (lofty, mysterious, never too stormy), Boston wohlwollendgeist Marissa Nadler approaches dream-folk perfection on her new self-titled and self-released third album. “Puppet Master” and “In a Magazine” march and slide like some spooky country torchers. “Wind Up Doll” might be the moodiest and wispiest, with only the tiniest creak of a fingertip along an acoustic guitar string pinning it to the physical plane. Nadler plays First Unitarian Side Chapel tonight (July 28, —Patrick Rapa r5productions.com).

flickpick

Genre-trawling, stunt-blogging DJ turned puckishly polyglot dance producer, Chicagoan Chrissy Murderbot flips maybe the year’s most breathlessly giddy party record with his Planet Mu debut. Fitfully grounded in the manic stutters and off-the-chart BPMs of his adopted hometown’s footwork and juke scenes, but borrowing just as liberally from dancehall, ragga jungle and rave, Women’s Studies pairs cartoonishly crude humor and populist hands-in-the-air anthemism with dizzyingly refined beat-fusing prowess. —K. Ross Hoffman

[ movie review ]

CRAZY, STUPID, LOVE. [ B- ] THOSE WHO KNOW Glenn Ficarra and John Requa as the writers of 2003’s

Hainen isn’t just a harpist. She’s OUR harpist! harpistry (which may not even be a word), some brief information about the Bulgarian National Radio Orchestra, which appears on this CD under the direction of conductor Rossen Milanov: The BNRO is composed entirely of ex-Bulgarians. Although all of its members were born in Bulgaria and continue to reside in Bulgaria, they are all successful graduates of the “Pray Away the Bulgarian” program administered by Marcus Bachmann (spouse of presidential candidate and human litter-box liner Michele Bachmann). Please note that Dr. Bachmann’s Pray Away the Bulgarian treatment should not be confused with the “Pray Away Bulgaria” movement.The latter was created by Texas governor and part-time hat rack Rick Perry as a way to seek divine intervention to erase all of the countries he can’t find on the map. Stupid fucker. Elizabeth Hainen’s Harp Concertos is a collection of her interpretations of several of the works of Elias Parish Alvers, Johann Georg Albrechtsberger, Camille Saint-Saëns and Greek death metal band Rotting Christ (that last one was just tossed in there to see if you’re still reading this). Hainen, who also happens to be the solo harpist for the Philadelphia Orchestra, has the uncanny ability to make her harp — an instrument not really known for its overpowering volume (after all, when was the last time you heard somebody shout “turn down that goddamn harp!”?) — not only stand out in each work, but actually bind the works together. Verdict: Elizabeth Hainen isn’t just a harpist. She’s Philadelphia’s harpist — OUR harpist! Buy her CD, damn it. (r_anonymous@citypaper.net)

� Elizabeth Hainen

Harp Concertos

(AVIE)

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Bad Santa may be surprised to find the duo harbor a collective sentimental streak, which does battle with their penchant for off-color humor in the ain’t-it-grand ensemble Crazy, Stupid, Love. As mom and dad Steve Carell and Julianne Moore head toward divorce, their son (Jonah Bobo) nurses a fierce crush on his baby sitter (Analeigh Tipton), who is herself hot for Carell. Newly single Carell takes tips from seasoned pickup artist Ryan Gosling, who takes pity on the hapless older man but falls prey to Cupid’s wiles once the uncommonly resistant Emma Stone comes into the picture. Got all that? Intertwining love plots go back at least as far as Restoration comedy, and the dash of worldly cynicism Ficarra and Requa throw into the mix has roots in Max Ophüls’ La Ronde, among less reputable forebears. (For a closer fit, try Parenthood.) But the script, by Pixar and Disney veteran Dan Fogelman, peddles shopworn adages instead of hard-earned truths. Each story feels like something that happened to a friend of a friend, just far enough removed to feel naggingly out of whack. Every now and then, a moment rings through clearly — less so from Carell and Moore, both playing beneath their station, than Stone, who adeptly balances a grown woman’s self-possession with the lingering indefiniteness of adolescence. (Her mixture of disbelief and desire when she first views Gosling’s ice-cube abs is a reaction shot for the ages.) Poor Tipton is stuck playing only the latter, all doe eyes and nervous tics, a bundle of neuroses bound up in a sideways ponytail. There’s strong, fleetingly powerful stuff in Crazy, Stupid, Love., but like its awkwardly punctuated title, the movie jerks to a halt just when it’s beginning to flow. —Sam Adams

A bundle of neuroses bound up in a sideways ponytail.

GIRL, YOU’LL BE A WOMAN SOON: Emma Stone (with Josh Groban) adeptly walks the line between adulthood and adolescence in the ensemble comedy Crazy, Stupid, Love.

PHILADELPHIA!

³ BEFORE WE DISCUSS Elizabeth Hainen’s

³ dance/electronic ³ folk/pop

aidorinvade Rodney Anonymous vs. the world

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[ arts & entertainment ]

� All Float On <<< continued from page 18

newer grass-roots approach to craft that has resurfaced within the last decade.” As in past craft movements with activist ties, the goal of MRA’s project calls for fundamental social change by imagining a community centered around its own selfinvented processes. “There’s a huge element of utopia involved,” says Ialeggio of her group dynamic. “Utopia and autonomy and hope and the functionality of your own life and the ability to follow dreams as you conceive of them.” (a_amorosi@citypaper.net)

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� IT’S CRITMASS IN AUGUST! After warding off ravenous seagulls all day, you deserve a break. Come home and catch up on Critical Mass, City Paper’s everything-but-thekitchen-sink A&E blog. This week, Jane Cassady predicts your twee future; Eric Schuman edits your live-music dance card; Cassie Owens gets her hair did; Ryan Carey LOLs with it; Kelsey McGlynn talks shops; Matt Cantor puts Generation Y on blast; Emily Apisa puts on her reading glasses; and Meg Augustin snoops in other people’s houses. Hungry for more? Visit citypaper.net/criticalmass.

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all projects have their own deliberate narrative. In reconfiguring junk into reusable living structures, the team touts the notion of sustainable, adventure-minded living. The original floatingmembership crew, formed in 2006, made news with its two-year journey down the Mississippi River on a flotilla of rafts, stopping along the way to perform vaudevillian musical variety theater. Like a green-considerate freewheeling avantgarde Showboat without the racist overtones, MRA makes renewable resources into progressive, dynamic, living art projects that don’t simply sit on a pedestal. “We’ve done our installations at other museums and galleries,” says Cleveland native Tod Seelie, one of MRA’s project managers and its documentarian. But “people aren’t necessarily used to collectives walking in without any clear idea of what they’re doing. They’re used to one artist, one vision. We are lucky that we have this crew that works visually and personally together, funds materials and creates a thesis.” They are also fortunate to have found the Art Alliance in a state of transition — interested in craft, design, community and outreach. “In the

“We’re like ants, just doing what we do.”

%/.

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³ THE ARMADA IS no Hoarders for Hipsters, and

same year that I began following MRA’s work, the board of directors approved a change in the mission of the organization,” says PAA curator Melissa Caldwell, the woman responsible for bringing the group to Philly. Caldwell wanted to see what a group unfamiliar with Philadelphia would come up with; the Art Alliance wanted to reach out to neighborhoods beyond Center City. “Community interactions are a natural extension of their artwork and mission as a group, and are reflected in the water events and parades that will occur prior to the installation in the PAA,” says Caldwell. “I found it a compelling idea in relation to the

a&e

bin containing tools and technical ephemera. Next to that sits a piano and a makeshift tented office that acts as a computer station and food-filled break room. Some of these once-trashed elements have been gleaned from two local nonprofits, the Resource Exchange and Recycled Artist-In-Residency. “American construction practices are wasteful — they’re all about time and money management,” says Ialeggio. “If they nail a stud wrong, it’s faster to get a new 2-by-4 than spend a minute taking nails out.” The Exchange guided the MRA crew to film, video and theater companies that might be trashing scenery and props. “When you have no money, you develop a sixth sense as to where to find things.” Look beyond the junk on the Broad Street lot and you see a series of structures — hexagons and squares with all sorts of stuff crammed atop or alongside, forming actual, functional rafts. There are so many structures, it’s hard to tell where one ends and another begins. “We are like ants, just doing what we do,” says San Francisco’s Ledia Carroll. “The longer we work together, some of our ideas do seem to align more and more.”

feature | the naked city a&e classifieds | food | the agenda

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J U L Y 2 8 - A U G U S T 3 , 2 0 1 1 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T

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shorts

You’ll love this movie!” Shawn Edwards,

FOX-TV

Heather Catlin,

WSB-TV (ABC)

“Crazy, Sexy, Fun.” Victor Diaz, Your

News Now

“Must see comedy of the summer” Éric Paquette,

the agenda | food | classifieds

“A hilarious and sexy ﬁlm”

a&e

FILMS ARE GRADED BY CITY PAPER CRITICS A-F.

‘When Harry Met Sally.’

the naked city | feature

movie

“It’s this generation’s

SALUT BONJOUR! - TVA

Another Earth

� NEW A LITTLE HELP|B-

ANOTHER EARTH|B Two films that played this year’s Cinefest boasted nearly identical plots, with characters in altered states causing fatal car accidents and then insinuating themselves into their surviving victims’ lives. The High Cost of Living, in which a drug dealing Zach Braff causes a pregnant woman to miscarry, was thoroughly professional and utterly forgettable. Mike Cahill’s debut feature, on the other hand, is rough around the edges and suffers occasional lapses into

“Justin and Mila have incredible chemistry!” Scott Mantz, Access Hollywood

COWBOYS & ALIENS Read Drew Lazor’s review at citypaper.net/movies. (Pearl, UA Grant, UA Riverview)

CRAZY, STUPID, LOVE.|BRead Sam Adams’ review on p. 19. (Roxy, UA Riverview)

GUNLESS A haiku: An Old West cowboy goes to Canada looking for a duel, poutine. (Not reviewed) (Ritz at the Bourse)

SCREEN GEMS PRESENTS A CASTLE ROCK ENTERTAINMENT/ZUCKER/OLIVE BRIDGE ENTERTAINMENT PRODUCTION A WILL GLUCK FILM JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE MILA KUNIS “FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS” PATRICIA CLARKSON TH RICHARD JENKINS AND WOODY HARRELSON JENNA ELFMANEXECUTIVEBRYAN GREENBERG WISTORY MUSIC SUPERVISION BY WENDE CROWLEY PRODUCER GLENN S. GAINOR BY HARLEY PEYTON AND KEITH MERRYMAN & DAVID A. NEWMAN SCREENPLAY BY KEITH MERRYMAN & DAVID A. NEWMAN AND WILL GLUCK PRODUCED DIRECTED BY MARTIN SHAFER LIZ GLOTZER JERRY ZUCKER JANET ZUCKER WILL GLUCK BY WILL GLUCK

SALVATION BOULEVARD|CThat Salvation Boulevard director and co-writer George

CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS FOR THEATERS AND SHOWTIMES

P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R | J U L Y 2 8 - A U G U S T 3 , 2 0 1 1 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T |

Sitcom vet Michael Weithorn’s first feature is a drab, unremarkable indie lifted by a warm, understated turn by Jenna Fischer as a widowed single mother struggling to reassemble her life in the wake of 9/11. Husband Chris O’Donnell dies of a heart arrhythmia exacerbated by Fischer’s ill-timed attempt at oral sex, but that doesn’t stop her sullen son (Daniel Yelsky) from telling classmates at his new school that his father was a hero fireman who perished in the wreckage. Knee-deep in self-loathing and empty Bud cans, Fischer lacks the resolve to unmask his lie, or to fight her high-powered mother (Lesley Ann Warren) and sister (Brooke Smith), who leap at the chance to remake her in their own image. For a movie without much on its mind, A Little Help is impressively determined in its downward spiral, with only the minimum uplift to prevent audiences from walking straight out of the theater and into oncoming traffic. As she does on The Office, Fischer spends much of the movie watching events take place around her, but there’s an added touch of melancholy to her inertia. There’s no one to pull her out of her rut here, just the long, slow climb back to something like happiness. —Sam Adams (Ritz at the Bourse)

ponderous melodramatics, but also conjures a meditative head space that lingers much more potently. In this case it’s Sundance darling Brit Marling at the wheel, tipsy after a night of toasting her acceptance into MIT. While the celebratory drinking plays a part in the ensuing accident, which kills the wife and child of a composer (Lost’s William Mapother), far more distracting to this would-be astrophysicist is the sudden appearance in the night sky of a new, parallel Earth. The implications of this shadow planet play out in the background of Another Earth, adding a layer of philosophical sci-fi to what is chiefly a human drama. The new world’s existence is less a threat or even a mystery than an existential riddle, a possibility for redemption and rebirth that both characters yearn for as they look to the stars. While Cahill’s ideas often outreach his execution (too many conversations between the two leads devolve into thinly veiled, overstated allegories), he shows exciting promise. —Shaun Brady (Ritz East)

feature | the naked city a&e classifieds | food | the agenda

360 happy hours

$50

Wednesday & Friday 5pm to 7pm

Sunday

4pm to 6pm $2 off cocktails, wine and drafts

pa poke

Aug

(**excludes bottles beer/wine)

24 | P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R |

J U L Y 2 8 - A U G U S T 3 , 2 0 1 1 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T

Thursday, July 28

totally latin thursdays latin music, dance instruction & live performances 7pm – 2am

Friday, July 29 b street band 8pm – midnight

dj gabor kiss & maria laina 11pm – 2am

Saturday, J

the loop 4pm

the exceptions 8p

dj johnny b & m 11pm – 2

exit 37 off i-95. exit 351 (westbound) / exit 352 (eastbound) off the pa turnpike. 1.888.588.parx (7279) s parxcasino.com parx east located adjacent to parx casino

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featuring michael “the mouth” matusow michael “the grinder” mizrachi

the agenda | food | classifieds

x open classic

BRILLIANT.”

STEPHEN REBELLO, PLAYBOY

“SHARPLY

FUNNY AND TOUCHING... A DREAM CAST!”

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“FLAT-OUT

PETER TRAVERS, ROLLING STONE

“A

BEAUTIFUL PORTRAIT OF LIFE, LOVE AND EVERYTHING IN BETWEEN.” JAKE HAMILTON, FOX-TV

“SURPRISINGLY

HEARTFELT AND HYSTERICAL!” MARK S. ALLEN, CBS-TV

“THIS

IS WHAT A GREAT COMEDY SHOULD BE.” BEN LYONS, E!

“A

COMEDY LIKE NO OTHER.”

26 | P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R |

J U L Y 2 8 - A U G U S T 3 , 2 0 1 1 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T

KAREN DURBIN, ELLE

Ratliff broke through with a documentary about a Texas megachurch’s fundamentalist house of horrors bodes well for this satire of a fictional congregation whose pastor (Pierce Brosnan) has plans to lead his flock into an evangelical real estate venture. Unfortunately, Ratliff’s nonfiction bona fides only serve as proof that he should know better. Instead of exploring virgin territory, Ratliff stays on well-trod ground: greedy preachers, mindless followers, and a lost soul

(Greg Kinnear) caught in the middle. Brosnan’s character is more a bumbler than an outright villain, accidentally shooting an academic atheist (Ed Harris) in the head with an antique pistol after a public debate. But the lengths to which he’ll go to cover his holy ass rapidly transgress even Old Testament boundaries. Kinnear’s reformed Deadhead makes for a convenient patsy, and obedient drone Jim Gaffigan is easily persuaded to repurpose the story of Abraham and Isaac as a parable about silencing witnesses. Unless you’ve got a thing for watching Oscar winners (Jennifer Connelly and Marisa Tomei) shriek themselves silly, you’d be better off praying at a another altar. —S.A. (Ritz at the Bourse)

SARAH’S KEY|D If Kate Winslet’s infamous, prophetic bit on Ricky Gervais’ Extras, in which she explained the path to Oscar led straight through a Holocaust movie, made her (Oscar-winning!) turn in The Reader seem all the more cynical, she’s still got nothing on the almost-metamiddlebrow Sarah’s Key. Gilles PaquetBrenner’s swooning drama not only plays on liberal guilt but incorporates it directly into the narrative, paralleling the ordeal of a young Jewish girl during the infamous Vel’ d’Hiv Roundup of 1942 with the well-appointed suffering of Kristin Scott Thomas as a presentday journalist uncovering her story. Of course, as with so much Academy bait, the horrors of the past are mainly relevant to helping muddle through our own life crises, and here Scott Thomas struggles not only with her in-laws’ possible complicity with the French atrocities but with her husband’s hostility towards her late-life pregnancy. The relationship drama is the plot contrivance most directly geared to rile up its target audience, middle-class, middleaged women who can be counted on to jeer at this monstrous man and his career concerns. But it also generates a repulsive parallel between the Holocaust and abortion that can’t be ignored even if it is just the byproduct of one manipulation among many. We are the “product of our history,” Scott Thomas points out as a way to sum the film up, but Sarah’s Key is the latest product in a long line that forces history to be the product of our own overwhelming selfabsorption. —S.B. (Ritz Five)

THE SMURFS Read Shaun Brady’s review at citypaper.net/movies. (Pearl, UA Riverview)

� CONTINUING

STARTS FRIDAY, JULY 29 – CHECK DIRECTORIES FOR LISTINGS

[ movie shorts ]

hip-hop head, Michael Rapaport could’ve easily set his Big Apple Rap Masturba-Tron™ to auto-jerk and let it run for the duration of his documentary on A Tribe Called Quest. But it turns out the actor and first-time director’s admiration for the influential ’90s act doesn’t cloud his sometimes-klutzy but altogether sincere and captivating examination of Tribe’s innovation — and eventual implosion. —Drew Lazor (Ritz East)

CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE FIRST AVENGER|B The minds behind the arrogant and boring Thor, the mechanical Green Lantern and the stilted X-Men: First Class should all take notes on Joe Johnston’s knightly battle plan for simple superhuman success — an approachable mix of action, cornball humor and characters you might actually care about. Set in the thick of WWII, Captain America centers on sickly Steve Rogers (Chris Evans), a wannabe enlistee who possesses the fight and valor of a supersoldier but none of the physical attributes to make him an asset to the Allies. Enter the avuncular Dr. Abraham Erskine (Stanley Tucci), who injects Rogers with a serum that swells him up from shrimp to shield-chucking specimen. Though there’s more than a little setup for the impending Avengers franchise, Captain America works as standalone entertainment due to its sincerity — it never attempts to overreach. —D.L. (Pearl, UA Riverview)

FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS|BFrom the department of Titles That Give Away the Entire Plot: In Friends with Benefits, a couple of pals decide to have sex without the built-in drama of a relationship. They end up falling for each other anyway. Wait a sec — didn’t this movie come out like six months ago? Yes, it’s basically a mirror image of No Strings Attached. But what elevates the second go-’round is the chemistry between Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis, a natural ease that went missing when prankster Ashton Kutcher and icy-hot Natalie Portman flopped around in bed together. Despite a flatfooted beginning and spotty character development, watching these two unself-consciously explore sexual boundaries is a fun way to spend a couple of hours. If you’re going to see just one, make it this one. —Carolyn Huckabay (Pearl, UA Grant, UA Riverview)

BEATS RHYMES & LIFE: THE TRAVELS OF A TRIBE CALLED QUEST|B+

HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS: PART 2|B+

As a native New Yorker and a devout

With Lord Voldemort (Ralph Fiennes)

SNOW FLOWER AND THE SECRET FAN|C-

AWESOME FEST Piazza at Schmidts, Second and Hancock streets, theawesomefest. com. Fake It So Real (2011, U.S., 104 min.) A doc following three semi-pro wrestlers as they prep for a match in North Carolina. Sat., July 30, 7:30 p.m., free. Convento (2010, U.S., 50 min.) A Dutch family transforms a 400-year-old monastery into a home, artist’s workshop and nature preserve. Sun., July 31, 7:30 p.m., free.

“PROVOCATIVE, SMART ENTERTAINMENT.”

FOX SEARCHLIGHT PICTURES presents

THE BALCONY 1003 Arch St., 215-922-6888, thetroc. org. Breakfast at Tiffany’s (1961, U.S., 115 min.): “You could always tell what kind of a person a man thinks you are by the earrings he gives you.” Tue., Aug. 2, 8 p.m., $3.

PIFVA CINEMA SPEAKEASY L’Etage, 624 S. Sixth St., 215-5920656, pifva.org. Rap City (1988, U.S., 50 min.): WHYY’s rarely screened doc about Philly’s hop-hop pioneers, including DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince. Tue., Aug. 2, 7:30 p.m., $5 suggested donation.

SECRET CINEMA Institute of Contemporary Art, 118 S. 36th St., 215-898-7108, mugshotscoffeehouse.com. Sister Ray Slam To help close ICA’s Warholthemed exhibit, “That’s How We Escaped,” Secret Cinema is screening some of the legendary artist’s rarest short films and screen tests. Four live bands will follow with musical interpretations of the Velvet Underground’s “Sister Ray.” Wed., Aug. 3, 8 p.m., free.

More on:

citypaper.net � FOR COMPREHENSIVE EVENT LISTINGS, VISIT C I T Y PA P E R . N E T / L I S T I N G S .

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Charlton Heston’s science was a bit off when he referred to the site of his 1968 crash landing as “a planet where apes evolved from men.” Mostly set in the original’s past (after James Franciscus took a less over-thetop walk in Heston’s footsteps for Beneath the Planet of the Apes), the subsequent sequels worked to diminishing effect toward a foregone nuclear conclusion — the same terrain that the upcoming James Franco-starring prequel will be mining. The original series is more beloved than actually liked, though its charms are endearing enough that Exhumed Films’ back-to-back screening of all five films should be a blast. Chock-full of period curiosities and character actors

disaster able to level the Statue of Liberty — though Tim Burton did worse with a lot more.

P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R | J U L Y 2 8 - A U G U S T 3 , 2 0 1 1 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T |

7.31

food | classifieds

Corner of 10th and Watkins . 1712 South 10th 215-339-0175 . Facebook.com/watkinsdrinkery

Sat., July 30, noon-10 p.m., free-$15, 1000 block of South Street, philadelphiasmagicgardens.org.

the agenda

like Paul Williams, Claude Akins and Sal Mineo toiling under ape masks, the films’ gradually decreasing budgets ensure that the simian apocalypse seems disappointingly small-scale for a

$2 TACOS EVERY SUNDAY

the naked city | feature | a&e

so, to celebrate Philly’s imaginative spirit, Zagar’s mosaic wonderland hosts a mega-fest of local music (watch for Bells, Bells, Bells and Toy Soldiers), dance and food. And if you’re in the market for a piece of art, vendors will set up shop along the surrounding sidewalks. Take a page from Zagar’s book and choose something wacky.

Open everyday 5p-2a Kitchen Open All Night Happy Hour Everyday 5p-7p

Fri. 7/29 Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s The Life Presents...

THURSDAY

Freeway, Ms. Jade 9pm | 21+ | $15

Sat. 7/30 WXPN Welcomes

American Babies w/ The Great Unknown 9pm | 18+| $10/$12 Sun. 7/31

Zoogma

w/Beam & Deem, Close To Good 8pm | 21+ | $7/$10 Tues. 8/2

Fat Tuesdays w/ Brass Heaven $3 Hurricanes/$5 Pitchers/ $1 Shots, 8 p.m. | 21+ | Free Wed. 8/3

DJ ?uestlove

Thursday July 28th, 8pm ROBERT JON & THE WRECK Dan Lavoie Friday July 29th, 10pm BAM! Sunday July 31st, 8pm Open Mic hosted by BoyWonder Monday August 1st, 9pm-1am Open Jam hosted by

Tony Catastrophe Tuesday August 2nd, 6pm-Midnight SOUL STATION

Michael Rose

Wednesday August 3rd 6pm - Dinner & Jazz led by Francis Cacnio 9pm - Shane Cooley & Rosa Wallace

QE !EBPQKRQ TTT QEB?IL@HIBV @LJ

215.625.0855 117 Chestnut St.Philadelphia, PA triumphbrewing.com facebook.com/triumpholdcity

w/ Gary Clark Jr. 9pm | 21+ | $8/$12 Sat. 8/6

The Abyssinian, Wareika Hill 8pm | 18+ | $27/$35

Wired 96.5 on the Main Floor House Music on The Roof Thursday Birthday - bottle of champagne and cake on the house!

GRO

UP THERAPY BAR

FRIDAY

Hip Hop on the Main Floor House Music on The Roof

SATURDAY

House Music on the Main Floor Hip Hop on The Roof

SUNDAY

House Music on the Main Floor Q102 on The Roof

MONDAY

Latin Night/Free Lessons On the Main Floor Mixed Music on The Roof

TUESDAY

Hip Hop on the Main Floor w/Strength Dance Competition/ Pole Dancing Oldies Music on The Roof

WEDNESDAY

Continuation of Center City Sips 5p-7p Hip Hop on the Roof & Main Floor 116 S.18 th Street 215-568-1020 www.vangoloungeandskybar.com

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Sat, July 30th 9:30pm $5

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DRAG AT ITS FINEST. POP PUNK D. & EMOCOVER HOSTED BY&EMILY DJ DEEJAY JOHN D.NO NO COVER WED 27 3

~TUESDAY~ $5 Burgers $3 Victory Pints ALL DAY! $2 Well Drinks and $5 Layered Pints 10pm-12am Manayunkâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Best Pub Quiz Starts @ 9pm ~WEDNESDAY~ $6 Beer Infused Mussel Bowls $3 Rotating Craft Beer Pints (ALL DAY) $2 Blue Moons and $2 U-Call Its 10-12 am ~THURSDAY~ $2 Miller Lite ALL DAY Price Drinks (All Drinks) 9-11pm Price Irish Craic Nachos ~FRIDAY~ $9.99 Fish and Chips New Friday Happy Hour $1 High Life and $3 Jameson and Ginger from 6-8pm Whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s in the Box Promotion 7-10pm. Buy an Irish Pint and win. $3 Coors Lights ALL DAY!

BLOW UP A GO GO! With the Biters, Gold Crowns and Rocks Off DJs Dan Kishbaugh, Erick Kohlhofer & Bill Coburn

Sat, August 6th, 9pm, $5

The Slotcars, The Tricky Dicks, Johnie 3, Murderburgers and The Prozacs!

Tues, Aug. 9th, 8pm, No Cover SMILE New Record Party w/Wil H & Steady Eddie and Friends - spinning,

BLUES & RHYTHM, ROCK & ROLL, PSYCH, GARAGE, SURF & SOUL Drink Specials 8-11pm

Sun, August 28th, 5pm, $6 Watery Love & Kitchenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Floor and More TBA Every Tuesday, 8pm

King of the Hill Pool Tournament

Wed Nite Open Mic 9pm w/ Dave Robins or Abe the Rockstarr

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34 | P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R |

f&d

foodanddrink

portioncontrol By Brian Wilensky

CRAY-DLE OF LIBERTY

³ IN THE BEGINNING of the 20th century, the number of crayfish in Sweden’s freshwater rivers began to dwindle due to overfishing. In response, the government instituted countrywide fishing restrictions that bumped the beginning of crayfish season back to Aug. 7 — one reason behind the timing of the traditional late-summer crayfish celebration known as a kräftskiva. Next Friday, Aug. 5, Philadelphia’s American Swedish Historical Museum (ASHM) is hosting its own crayfish party with all of the traditional elements — they’ll boil the crayfish in a brine with lots of crown dill, then leave them to sit for a tick before they’re cracked open by hand. “Traditionally, [crayfish] are served with crisp toasted bread and a sharp cheese, as well as other sides,” says Birgitta Davis, associate director of ASHM. “There’s also a liqueur that’s usually drunk with the meal called aquavit,” a potent caraway-flavored spirit. The menu of the ASHM’s annual party, accordingly, will include toasted bread with Swedish cheese, potato salad, green salad and a dessert. There will also be Swedish meatballs with lingonberry jam. Swedes wear paper hats while eating these crustaceans, though the meaning behind this tradition is unclear. Since the crayfish is meant to be celebrated outdoors at night, paper lanterns that go along with a kräftskiva sport a picture of a moon. Songs, known as snapsvisa, are often sung before knocking back a shot of aquavit. “They’re short, snappy, nonsensical tunes,” says ASHM membership director Caroline Rossy. “Most of the songs are about the Norse gods and are just for the fun of singing songs while drinking. We pick someone that looks like they’ve had some to drink to lead them.” (brian.wilensky@citypaper.net) � Summer Crayfish Party, Fri., Aug. 5, 6:30 p.m., $50, American Swedish Historical Museum, 1900 Pattison Ave., 215-389-1776, americanswedish.org.

WHAM BAM THANK YOU LAMB: A Sunday-only special at Los Taquitos de Puebla, Juan Carlos Romero’s lamb barbacoa tacos come with a side of rich lamb consommé. NEAL SANTOS

[ that’s our ’cue ]

HOLE FOODS Tracking Mexican barbacoa, from its buried-inthe-ground roots to Philly stove tops. By Brion Shreffler

o experience a nearly religious take on meat, seek out Mexican barbacoa in South Philly — but make your pilgrimage on the correct day. The assiduous, time-consuming process, traditionally applied to lamb, goat or beef, typically translates to the weekend being the only time for you to pay your flesh-loving respects — and the long marinating and cooking process sometimes means it’s a Sunday-only affair. While the name is relatable enough, it’s in no way a translation of American charcoal cooking. Barbacoa in its truest sense — prepared in a covered pit — puts the focus on meat’s natural juices via a long, More on: slow cook. In Hidalgo, Mexico, barbacoa masters take a pot equipped with a steam tray loaded with meat and cover it with maguey (agave) leaves, seal it with burlap and drop it onto a lit grill situated in a hole in the ground. That hole’s covered with earth ahead of a fire being set over top. Garlic, onions and spices sit in the water beneath the steam tray, while drippings from the meat inform the steam and the resulting consommé that’s served on the side. This old-school technique is not far removed from what’s practiced today in Philly. “When I go back home,” says Raul Castro of

citypaper.net

Plaza Garibaldi (935 Washington Ave.), “it’s the barbacoa I can’t wait to get.” He notes that just like in the States, everyone in Mexico, block by block, state by state, does barbacoa differently. Here, the process is most commonly reproduced on stove tops. At Garibaldi, lamb is salted for one to two days ahead of cooking — this denatures the protein, producing a result that peels apart as easily as the bands of fat that lend a pleasant, permeating flavor. Chef/owner Castro is one of many Pueblan transplants who bring with them a specific region’s predilection for barbacoa — most commonly lamb, as opposed to the north’s noted preference for goat or the Yucatan’s love of pork. “If it’s too hot, we don’t do it,” says Luz Jimenez of Los Gallos (951 Wolf St.), while admitting that he can never stay away for too long. Though he temporarily suspended his weekend barbacoa special in early July, he’ll make an exception for large takeout requests (one lamb’s worth can serve 28 or more people). He still has customers coming in asking for the lamb tacos MORE FOOD AND he serves with guacamole, rice, queso fresDRINK COVERAGE co, salsa verde and salsa roja. Don’t worry, AT C I T Y P A P E R . N E T / they’ll be back in September. M E A LT I C K E T. At Los Taquitos de Puebla (1149 S. Ninth St.), the cooking starts long before you order their Sundayonly offering: three brimming lamb tacos served with consommé. Steaming may sound contradictory to all things barbecue, but think about anything you’ve ever thrown on a grill wrapped in foil — it’s all about retaining flavor. To do that, owner Juann Carlos Romero pre-roasts the broad, thick leaves of maguey to ensure pliability — this enables him to snuggly tuck meat in them, which >>> continued on adjacent page

gracetavern.com

ASSHOLE NEXT TO ME

CHECK YOURSELF!

early in the morning. You can’t even read your book in peace, or close your eyes standing at the door or something. I am just not understanding. I hope I don’t see them loud hags again!

I’M BACKING AWAY

SHE FOOLED YOU

I am sorry to say this but, I think that you and I need to think about our relationship and for me to back the fuck up! I call you and you never call me back! I am not understanding if you and I are friends why you don’t communicate with me! To me that is saying that you really don’t trust me and you probably never trusted me from the beginning.

Now you are telling me that you don’t think that the child is yours and I am saying to you is that I fucking told you so, You seem not to understand that is what trash does, they use people until they can’t use them anymore! You didn’t realize that I loved you from the fucking start and now you are like, coming to me like you don’t know what to do with yourself,

How dare you try to but in front of me in the line in the store you know if wasnt your fucking turn. No respect at all. You need to take your sunglasses the fuck off and check yourself. You aren’t all that anyway. You fat bitch. Also, nobody wears sunglasses at 8 oclock at night you are not that cute, you arent that hollywood chick like you think that you are! You probably paid for you stuff one my dime with your public assistance.

Nothing like getting on the hot ass bus when you have some stank ass girls with all these fucking kids. Now out of all the seats you plop down in the damn seat in the back next to me and did have one of your kids sit next to me, mind you the both of you were stinking so bad that I should have had a bucket of water with some soap so I could pour it on the both of you and wash the fuck away because the both of you smelled like sour lunch meat. You are supposed to be a women, please smell like one. Damn I wouldn’t of minded if you would have had some perfume on or something! That was fucking ridiculous!

Why is it you fat ass people walk down the street and try and hog up the whole sidewalk knowing that you are fat, and walking in the fucking middle and then walk slow like life didn’t ever matter, one side or the other buddie! Make up your fucking mind! People would like to get home as quick as possible next time I am just going to take my foot and kindly kick your fat ass to help you move faster, fat mother fuckers!

TOUCH ME I was begging for you to touch me in the most intimate way! You make me feel like I am on top of the world. You caring nature, your strong hands, makes me feel like I am floating or something. I just want us to be happy, I want us to have a friendship, and a good understanding of this is what life it truly about, finding someone and settling down. You mentioned to me that you wanted two kids. I want to that also. I can’t wait until our bodies become one! I love you!

FOOD CART ASSHOLES Have you ever notice the people ordering food at the food carts are fat and digusting? How can you be so lazy in the morning that you dont fix breakfast but you would rather order off a food truck sounds real smart right? Meanwhile people like me, I just want my damn soda that is all. And then the people look at you like you are crazy because you are waiting to get your drinks because they are standing there ordering a whole bunch on nonsense that they aren’t going to eat. PS: I hope that food gives you the shits! Big time!

YOU ARE A CUNT

I am not understanding how that is. I shared some secrets with you, and I told you about my parents and since you are on drugs you still managed to ask me about them. Were you fucking listening, I told you then were not around. I struggle to help you, but it is time to step back from the situation!

LOUD ASS WOMEN! These four fat bitches sitting on the train in the mornings, all four of you make me sick! Mind you think is 6 something in the morning and they are making all this noise talking so fucking loud! I turned around and looked at them like this is public transportation, yes, but why the fuck do you have to become so loud. You can make your point across without all of this! I just can’t believe what goes on

I sort of feel sorry for you and I hope that isn’t your child because I want you to be my child’s father! That is real! And I am hoping and praying!

SHITTY NEIGHBOR You know that you make me sick with the fucking trashcan sitting in the fucking front of the house! I think it is digusting, Now we have all these fucking big ass water bugs, and we have to constantly clean up the house. It doesn’t make any sense that you are that fucking nasty. When your great aunt told me that you were moving back into the house. I looked at her and said shit! I really didn’t want to be bothered with your nasty ways. Do us all a favor, wash-up, get some class, and move that fucking trash can, it smells and is very digusting!

To those who are hurting and waiting and crying and missing and wondering where the fuck you are going, you are loved. To those who are laughing and playing and dreaming and kissing and loving and feeling like you are on top of this world, you are loved. Stop separating and comparing and judging and dehumanizing and thinking that you are somehow more evolved than the person sitting next to you right now. My brothers and my sisters, be kind to one another, for we are all fucking connected. We are family. You are loved. � To place your FREE ad (100 word limit), go to citypaper.net/ILUIHU and follow the prompts. ADS ALSO APPEAR AT CITYPAPER.NET/lovehate. City Paper has the right to re-publish “I Love You, I Hate You”™ ads at the publisher’s discretion. This includes re-purposing the ads for online publication, or for any other ancillary publishing projects.

I know I am with someone else but for years I was alone and you never wanted me. I can’t live with not knowing how you feel, if you feel for me. If you swear to God you don’t truly care, I’ll move on but you are mute because I “am engaged”, which as I told you I am not but the truth is I am if I want to be, as I’ve known for about a year. I know I am crazy when it comes to you but something very powerful in me needs to see you like I’ll die if I don’t. I understand nothing, that is all I know. If you break my heart or treat me like a second class citizen, I’ll have my answer, will move forward and won’t look

YOU ARE LOVED

P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R | J U L Y 2 8 - A U G U S T 3 , 2 0 1 1 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T |

To the stupid little blonde haired CUNT and her Asshole friends at the a place and the Maytals show(except the wheelchair dude who seemed cool) Reggae concerts are Peace and love and good vibes,not the place to mosh. If you and your ASS HOLE friends want to mosh, go somewhere else instead of pissing off all the people around you. It was a packed house and no room for moshing, you and your ASSHOLE friends were the only ones wanting to do it. P.S. tell your fat friend in the black to wash once in a while, she smelled like a dead fish.

I AM NOT A TOUR GUIDE!

I NEED TO KNOW

I am so tired of seeing your ass walking around over and over again, and then you say something smart to me like I really fucking care! Do you think that I really care! I don’t and I don’t care what happens either. One because I have my own life and my own goals and I will make sure that I am taking care of, regardless if you are around or not! Don’t fuck me over and I will not fuck you over, I don’t know what you future will become but I really don’t want any part of it. I will stick around for as long as it takes, but after that...forget about it. I will not be around nor will I care. Trust me life will go on!

STANKY CHICKS

FAT ASS

I must have the face of a tour guide. Nothing like walking home in the hot ass sun and somebody stops to ask me where the free library on vine street, look asshole we are on vine on 17th street. You couldn’t turn around and see that big ass fucking building but you rather stop and ask me, someone who just got finished dealing with a bunch of assholes for 8 fucking hard long hours. Bitch you must of lost your mind. My name is not Rand Mcnally!

SIT THE FUCK DOWN!

classifieds

There is nothing like riding home on the train after work and someone sits next to you and rubs their leg against yours...what kind of shit is this! You don’t know who to sit on the bus and not have your leg rub against the other person most people who have common sense know that there is an invisible barrier there to keep you from touching the other person. I would like to thank you for making my train ride uncomfortable because your dumb ass had to sit next to me!

back. But now I need you to tell me everything. Anything you want with me or don’t whether you think it is convenient or will ruin my life I need to hear it. I love you.

the naked city | feature | a&e | the agenda | food

[ i love you, i hate you ]

27 31

By Matt Jones

“DOCTOR, DOCTOR” — GIVE ME THE CLUES

plication sites should contact your local GROWMARK FS, LLC, facility for additional information. Concerned Citizens should contact: Michael Layton, MGR. Safety & Environment, mlayton@growmarkfs.com GROWMARK FS LLC.308 N.E. Front Street, Milford, DE 19963. Call 302-422-3002.

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food | the agenda | a&e | feature | the naked city

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Pursuant to $128.85 of the Pennsylvania Department of Agriculture Title 7 regulations, GROWMARK FS, LLC. hereby gives notice of ground application of “Restricted Use Pesticides” for the protection of agricultural crops in municipalities in Pennsylvania during the next 45 days. Residents of contiguous property to our ap-

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44 | P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R |

J U L Y 2 8 - A U G U S T 3 , 2 0 1 1 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T

1 6 10 13 14 15 16 18 19 20 21 22 24 27 29 30 32 36 37 38 39 41 42 43 45 46 49 51 52 56 57

___ Foxes Give some stars to West ___ Moines He’s tough to spot in a crowd Robert who played A.J. Soprano Die, with “out” Just made a bunch of black dots in a lame Pictionary attempt? Hagar the Horrible’s daughter Merry Prankster party Thighbone It’s a bad thing Moron Drew Carey’s Improv-A-Ganza channel Four balls Cubs all-time home run leader Oak-to-be Considering Intent stare Poland Spring competitor Tennis great Arthur Where cruisers play shuffleboard What Medusa turned people to Actress Skye of Four Rooms Detained Doze (off) Lengthwise Zeus’s wife/sister Arrears Former CNN host Olympic sword Land visited by Dorothy, but way, way worse?

59 60 61 62 63 64

The Smiths guitarist Johnny Irish humanitarian Jazz and ragtime pianist Blake Math class with variables: abbr. It may be a good sign Teacher’s ominous note in red pen

� DOWN 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 15 17 20 23 24 25 26 28 31 33 34 35

DVD remote button Tomb Raider heroine Croft One type of util. Buzz Aldrin’s real first name Not grassroots Martini garnish Swiss peaks Places for veneers Slip up Cause bad luck for Harry Potter actress Emma? Bored feeling Go around the perimeter It’s white, puffy, and looks good in a kitchen Sicilian volcano Thrash Q ___ “Quebec” Lady who sings “Bad Romance” Road rash reminder Sign banning an annoying Futurama character? New York hoopster Uprising figure Straits of Mackinac water Mr. Bill’s exclamation Feast (on)

37 40 41 44 46 47 48 50 53 54 55 57 58

Tree of Life location Dukes of Hazzard deputy Flash lights Mani-, but for feet Swelling Country in the Himalayas Pallor “Devil with ___ Dress On” Writer Sarah ___ Jewett “Chicago” stage star Neuwirth “Or ___ told...” Treme network Wye follower

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merchandise market

POOL TABLE Gorgeous 8’ solid wood 1" slate, lthr pckts, dec legs & access/ Nvr used, $4500, Sell $1495. 610-476-8889

Laptops Net Ready, MS Office, Wireless From $179. 500 games $10, 610.453.2525

BD MATTRESS Luxury Firm w/box sprIng Brand New Queen cost $1400, sell $299; King cost $1700 sell $399. 610-952-0033

BRAZILIAN FLOORING 3/4", beautiful, $2.50s sf (215)365-5826

BDRM SET: Solid Cherry Sleigh Bed, Dresser, Mirror, Chest, & 2 Nite Stands. High Quality. One month old, Must sell. Cost $6000 ask. $1500. 610-952-0033

CABINETS GLAZED CHERRY Brand new, solid wood/dovetail. Crown molding. Can add or subtract to fit kitchen Cost $6400. Sell $1595. 610-952-0033

BED A brand new Queen pillow top mattress set w/warr. $229; Full $220; King $299. Memory Foam $295. 215-752-0911

BED: Brand New Queen Pillowtop Mattress Set w/warr, In plastic. $175; Twin $140; 3 pc King $265; Full set $155. Memory foams avl. Del. avl 215-355-3878 Bedroom Set brand new queen 5 pc esp. brown $489. Del Avail 215-355-3878

ORGAN Lowery Celebration, $1000. Cost $15,000, settling estate. 610-667-4829

pets/livestock Please be aware Possession of exotic/wild animals may be restricted in some areas.

46 | P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R |

J U L Y 2 8 - A U G U S T 3 , 2 0 1 1 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T

HIMALAYAN Kittens -9 weeks, Seal Points, CFA, ready, $400. (610)637-9441 Maine Coon Kittens, CFA reg., M/F multiple colors. (215)438-8759

Australian Shepherd Puppies AKC registered $650. (609)413-2048 Basset Hound Puppies. Family raised, ready by Aug 1. Shots & wormed, $425. ZIP 19365. Call 610-400-3103 Beagle pups, AKC, 4F, 1M, $300. shots & wormed, Call 215-287-3766 Beagle Pups AKC, shots, wormed, vet certified. Call 215-547-6314 Beagle Pups, AKC,SHOW CHAMPION LINE, health guarantee, $350, 215-256-1575 Border Terrier pups Champion sired beautiful, outgoing females, 8 weeks old 302-652-8034 or jimharve@udel.edu BOXER PUPS - AKC, 3 brindle male, 1st shots, vet checked, wormed, family raised, $525, call (717)383-0400 Brittany Spaniel puppies, AKC, orange & liver colors avail., (215)257-5147 BULL TERRIER Puppies, ready to go, registered, S/W, $800. 215-252-2693 CANE CORSO: 7 month Female, trained, housebroken, Call 267-351-1270

Cane Corso pups, reg, vet chkd, all colors, born 4/29. $500 obo. 215-360-4727 CAVALIER KING CHARLES puppies, 1 F, tri color, 1 F blk & tan, 5 year health guar., parents on prem $750. 610-485-4020 CAVALIER King Charles, Pups, Blenheim, 3F, 1M, ACA, $750. 215-353-2303 Cavalier King Charles Spaniels Pups, Retired Adults & Rescues, New Litters Avail $800-$1500, 215-538-2179 Chesapeake Bay Retriever Pups, AKC, champion lines, fam raised, 410.482.7376

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PAPILLON POMS, wormed, shots. Very cute! $300. Ready July 14th. 610-273-9195, extension 1. PEKINGESE PUPS: Gorgeous males & females, $275. 267-243-9526 Pembroke Welsh Corgie Puppies - S/W, raised in home, call Debbie, 215-559-4377 PITBULL Pups - 3 Female, ADBA registered, Ace champ bloodline, 610-586-1111 Pit Bull red nose, 5 months, M chocolate, F apricot, healthy, $150, 215-254-0562 PIT BULLS ears crop’d, 1 blk/wht, 7wks. 1 red nose, 6mo. $250. 267-414-9033 Pomeranian Pups, M $350, F $400, 1st shots, 8 weeks 267-324-7221 POODLES Std, AKC, blk, M/F, champ parents, shots, ready now. 856-304-7487 Potbelly Pigs, 6 wks, best pet ever, litter trained, must see. (267)252-8587 PUG fawn F, champ sired, vet checked, S/W, 9 weeks, $775. 610-273-3420 PUGGLE or CHIHUAHUA PUPPIES Cute & playful, $350-$500, 717-333-1376 ROTTWEILER PUPS AKC, Male & Female, $600. Call (302)888-1267 Rottweiler pups, AKC, s/w, home raised, great w/children. $525. 717-821-3076 Schnauzer mix pups, M $350, F $375, No Sunday calls. 717-368-7760 Shetland Sheepdog. Sheltie Pups for Sale. $325 USD. 717-656-3666 Shih Tzu, ACA, M $350, F $375, No Sunday calls. 717-368-7760 Shorkie-Tzu Pups,papers starting $350, financing avl, cash discount 484.955.6378 WEIMARANER: AKC Puppies, grand champion sire, champion mother & grandparents, hunting, obedience, agility, show potential, exceptional quality pups for approved home. For info 267-664-4941 YORKIE Pups-ACA, vet checked, wormed, w/shots,$800/bo 717-949-2264 YORKIE PUPS, AKC, 2 gorgeous males, shots, see parents,$975& up 215.824.3541 YORKIES - reg. Toy Teacup, AKC, Teddy bear faces. $1200. 302-697-3515

LOST DOG: WYLEY IS LOST. Male, Dark Brown chihuahua w/microchip. Gone since July 3rd. Photos avail at facebook.com/wyley.manayunk. Contact Shawn 267-573-9368.

apartment marketplace 13xx Locust Studio $1050 all utils inc. cable & gym, fully furn, (973)768-5362

EAGLES SBL’s (2) Section 214 Row 1, $10,900. (302)893-9191

18xx S. 22nd (Pt Breeze area) 2br $700+ lrg 2nd flr apt w/lrg kitch & bath, separate entry, washer optional 215-463-2403

WANTED: EAGLES SEASON TICKETS. Top $ paid. Call 800-786-8425

22nd & Washington 1 BR Effic $675 new kitch, bath & hdwd flrs, 215.292.2176 Broad St. 1br/1ba $600 nice, lg kit, dck, dw, gd, wd 215.465.5449

ELLIPTICAL NORDIC TRACK 1 year old, Like new $170/obo. 484-831-5081

everything pets COCKER SPANIEL Pups, vet checked, 1st shots, M/F $350. (267)242-3408 DACHSHUNDS short haired males & females, 8 wks old, $400. 267-506-4061 DOBERMAN Pinscher AKC, looking for loving lifetime homes. Sire on premises. Serious inquiries. 443-802-8958. ENGLISH BULLDOG PUPS, AKC Champ Bred, home rsd, $1800/obo. 215.789.1888 ENGLISH BULLDOG pups, family raised, shots, wormed, $1300. (717)598-6520 ENGLISH Bulldog pups FCI/AKC, Champ bloodlines 1yr health guar, 610-533-0589 German Sheperd Pup, Female, 11 weeks, $400. Call (215)453-8847 German Shepherd, F, 13 wks old, Euro bldln, s/w, vet chkd, $325, 717-687-7218 German Shepherd Puppies. ACA reg., farm raised, $475 Cash only 717.529.3830 German Shepherd Puppies Czech Excel lent pets/working lines. Imported parents. Litter mate won 2011 WDF Champ. 215-498-1863 German Shepherd Pups, AKC, vet checked, health gaurantee, German bldlines, born 5/13, $495. 717-824-5226 Golden Retriever $750 family raised vet checked ready 7/25 Phone 717-445-9437 Golden Retriever Pups - AKC, $600, parents on premises, choose now, ready for your home 7/23, 609-457-7832 Golden Retriever Pups - AKC, 7 M, 2 F, $700, 2 year guarantee, 814-448-3792 Gordon Setter pups, great family companion /excellent bird dogs 570.662.2167 Irish Setter pups, AKC, vet chkd, shots, parents our pets, $700+. (302)328-1720 JACK RUSSELL TERRIER Pups, shorties, M/F, ready to go, $200. 215-529-5989 Japanese Chins, AKC, black/white females, 9 mo. & 2 years, Male 1 year, all shots, sweet temperament 610-838-7221 LAB PUPS 100% GUAR READY NOW MUST COME SEE!!!! 215-768-4344 Lab pups, Choc., AKC, M & F, wormed & dew claws, $550. (609)220-1818 LAB (Silver) pups, AKC, family raised, shots, wormed, $700. 609-352-6102 LABS PUPPIES - AKC, chocolate, excellent bloodlines, $500 717-354-2674 Mini Pinscher/Pug Mix pups, 2F, hand raised, shots, wormed (717)354-5637 Mini Schnauzer Pups-shots & wormed, salt & peper, $300 and up. 610-960-5471

Hot Tub 2011 model 6 person Still in wrapper. Fully loaded w/warr. & cover Cost $6000 Sell $2750 610-952-0033

33&45 Records Higher $ Really Paid

** Bob 610-532-9408 **

33 & 45 Records Absolute Higher $

* * * 215-200-0902 * * *

Books -Trains -Magazines -Toys Dolls - Model Kits 610-689-8476

Coins, Currency, Gold, Toys,

Trains, Hummels, Sports Cards. Call the Local Higher Buyer, 7 Dys/Wk

Dr. Sonnheim, 856-981-3397

Diabetic Test Strips! $$ Cash Paid $$ Local pick-up, Call Martin 856-882-9015 JUNK CARS WANTED Up to $250 for Junk Cars 215-888-8662 Lionel/Am Flyer/Trains/Hot Whls $$$$ Aurora TJet/AFX Toy Cars 215-396-1903 SAXOPHONES, WWII, SWORDS, related items, Lenny3619@aol 609.581.8290

jobs

1100 S 58th St. Studio, 1br & 2br apts newly renov, lic #362013 267-767-6959 13xx S. 51st St. 1 BR $550+ utils new reno,2mo rent,1mo sec,267.254.3092

52nd & Florence 2BR $650+ util, 2nd flr, section 8 ok 215-432-5047 62nd & Lindberg studio $425+elec Lrg 1st flr, pvt entrance (215)821-8858 66xx Guyer 1 BR & Effic. $550-$650 Call 267-276-3680 for details. 7xx S 51st St. 2 BR/2 BA $725+elec w/w carpet, Section 8 ok (610)812-6352 Airport Area nice 2BR $775+ duplex, a/c, gar, bsmt. Call 856-346-0747

1420 N 52nd St. 1BR $575+utils triplex, very clean, private entry, security doors, 2 blocks from mall, 267-588-1777 3xx N. 61st St. Efficiency $450 near trans, $900 move in, 215-783-8456 5131 Hadfield 1 BR $475/mo 1st flr, $1,300 move-in, 267-259-0430 55xx Girard Ave. 2 BR $750+ utils $2250 move in, Must See! 215-284-7944 59xx Belmar Terrace 1 BR $550+ utils LR, kitch, BA, $1100 mve in, 267.210.3899 Parkside Area 1,2,3&5 BR starting $900 newly renovated, new kitchen & bath, Section 8 OK. Call 267-324-3197 Parkside area cozy 1br $500+utils 1st, last, security, 2nd flr 215-473-0231 Walnut St 1br $550+utils 2br $695+utils renovated, 215-471-1365; 215-663-0128

38xx Haverford lg Studio $455+utils hrdwd floors, remod kit/ba, 215-917-1091

Health Aide, Cert. PT mornings, S. Phila area. Call 215-755-0734 after 6pm. Housekeeper,etc, PT-FT, min. 5 yrs exp, refs,car,bkgd chk,Overbrook 215.290.2100

Companion/Aide/Housekeeper seeks job. Exp’d, refs, reasonable 215-387-8883 Woman seeking employment, House cleaning & childcare, exp.’d with references, reliable & honest. 267-298-6105

60xx Lansdowne Efficiency $450 Parkside 1br apt $600, Call 215-219-1715 61xx W. Oxford St. Efficiency $550 +utils, eat in kitch, Call 215-971-5608 828 Wynnewood Rd 1 BR $650+utils large living room, Call (267)250-2178 Various 1, 2 & 3 BR Apts $725-$850 www.perutoproperties.com 215.740.4900

Balwynne Park 2 BR $840+ W/D, C/A, W/W, Garage. 484-351-8633

FAIRMOUNT TERRACE APTS. great specials, bring ad for $250 off (215)477-6814

Bryn Mawr Av., Lge 1 BR, hdwd flrs, $720+ cook gas & elect. 215-247-0670

18xx Venango 1br $600+utils near Temple Hospital, 267-339-1662 1933 N Judson St 2 BR bi lvl $675 1.5 BA, 5 mins to Temple U, 215.768.8410 19th & Venango vic Small Efficiency $375 heat & water included, 215-226-2526 24xx N. 19th St. 1br $650 recent remod., Sec 8 ok (215)500-0134 30xx Broad St. Efficiency $475+ utils 1 mo. rent, 1 mo. sec, 267-975-8521 37xx N 18th St. 1.5 BR $550+utils $1300 move in req, 3rd flr (267)632-3302 6th & Erie 1.5br $449+utils 1st floor, good condition (215)758-5855 Broad & Lehigh Efficiency $550 newly remodeled. Call 267-333-3995

46xx Broad St. 2br 1st, last, sec..267

$800+utils

2ND/ASHDALE 1br $550 appls incl, nr trans & shops 215-767-0046 57xx N. 5th 2br $700 utils inc. Page St. 3br house 267-591-9269 59xx Old york Rd 1br $610+utils 3rd flr, w/w, g/d, tile kitch 215-224-1010 65xx Walnut Park Dr. 1 BR $700+utils w/ finished basement, 267-325-1610 Residential Life: Studio, 1Br & 2Br apts Spacious & Bright Apts near LaSalle Univ. Regional Leasing Office-5600 Ogontz Ave Call or Come in M-F 9a-5p 215.276.5600 1st Month Free to Qualified Applicants

36xx N. 19th St. Efficiency $400+util 3rd flr, 1st, last & sec. 215-873-3542 37XX N Sydenham St. Effic. $475 & utils. Temple University area.1 mo rent & 2 mos. security. App Fee. 215-879-9101 Hunting Park Luxury Efficiency utils incl. fully furn, cable, w/d, a/c. Just blocks North of Temple Hospital 267-331-5382

1 BR & 2 BR Apts $705-$835 spacious, great loc., upgraded, heat incl, PHA vouchers accepted 215-966-9371 1xx W Hansberry St. 1br $425+elec 1st flr, $1275 move in. 267-978-8480 233 W. Queen Ln 2 BR $650 3 month’s rent to move in, 215-223-7547 46xx Wayne Ave. 3br $770 fresh paint, w/d, crptd flrs 267-230-2600

Manayunk 2 BR $1350+ c/a, d/w, w/d, deck, yard, available September, 215-518-1275

2103 Chelten 1 & 2 BR $675 & $800 completely renovated, call 215-284-5394

14xx W. 71st Ave 1 BR $625 utilities included, close to transporation and shopping. Call 215-574-2111 1501 W. 66th Ave. 1Br w/w wash/dry, mod. kit & bath. $550+. 215-514-7143 16xx Champlost 1BR $590 near trans, heat/water incl 215.927.8333 66xx N. 15th St. 1 BR $600+ gas/elec 1st/last & security, 267-236-3401 67xx Woolston Ave 1br $525+utils w/w crpt, private entry, move in cond, avail now, $1050 move in 215-758-7129 68xx Forrest 2 BR $660+ utils Avl 8/15. cln,quiet,good area 215.779.0871 68xx N. Broad 1 BR $650+ utils 1st floor, spacious, hardwood floors, new kitchen. MUST SEE! Call 215-549-1454 Broad Oaks 2br lndry rm, Summer Special! 215-681-1723

13xx E. Luzerne St 2br renov $900 complete renov, sec 8 ok 267-467-0140 4645 Penn St. 1BR $550 newly renov. Gas & water inc. 215-781-8072

K of P 3br/2ba $1,650+ hw flrs, C/A, great loc, W/D 610.329.5543

15xx Tioga St., lrg rm, newly renov, w/w, furn, must see, $100/wk 215-552-5200 22nd/Tioga St.; 18th & Ontario Priv ent, use of kit, w/w, freshly painted. $110/wk. $270 move in. 267-997-5212 23rd & Hunting Pk lg furn rm,new renov, 1 wk free. $100/wk,must see, 215.960.1600 2745 Germanttown Ave Luxury Room for rent $250/mo. Hank (267) 974-9271 29th & Ridge $120/wk. furn, new renov, proof of income req 267-702-7914 30th & Lehigh: Unfurnished, $120/week, $360 move in. Call 215-983-6144 3130 N. 22nd St. $100/wk, kitchen & utils included, newly renov, 267-235-1166 42xx Frankford, $450 2nd Flr room, private entr, kit and Ba, clean. 215-289-2973 44xx N. 20th St. lrg furn rm, new renov, w/w, $95/wk. 1 wk free. 215-552-5200 4500 N. 17th St. $350/mo. new luxury room, Free Cable! Hank, 267-974-9271 45th & Lancaster; C & Allegheny; 21st & McKean; 13th & York. (215)290-8702 4952 Lancaster Luxury Room for rent $375/mo. Hank (267) 974-9271. 54th & Catharine lrg, clean, furnished, $500. Free utils & laundry 215-528-1058 55th/Thompson furn $115 wk frig micro priv ent $200 security 215-572-8833 652 Brooklyn, $125 week. $375 to move in. Furn w/refrige, no kitch 215-781-8049 728 S. Warnock St. clean desirable rm 3rd floor front All util inc. 215-549-4279

A1 Nice, well maintained rms, N & W Phila. Starting @ $115/wk 610-667-0101 ALLEGHENY $90/wk, $270 sec dep Near L train, furn, quiet. 609-703-4266 Broad & Hunting Park; Logan. use of kitchen, $105/week. (215)206-3832 Broad & Olney deluxe furn rms priv ent. $110/wk Sec $200. 215-572-8833 Broad & Wyoming area $100-$115/wk, XL rooms, clean, fully furn, priv entry, SSI ok & VA ok. 2 wk security 267-784-9284

WEST PHILADELPHIA $100/wk incl all utils 59th & Irving. clean furn rooms. Kitchen & bath. Call Tom 215-718-7199

FRANKFORD area, 1 BR apt, 1st flr $600 + util. 267-266-6003 9a-7p Oxford Cir area 1 BR, apt 2nd floor $600 mo. + util 267-266-6003 9a-7p

Oxford Circle 2br/2ba $450 incl. heat & water, w/d, off st prkg (215)643-2547

WARMINSTER Lg 2 BR $799/mo or $899 with FIRST MONTH FREE!! Pets & smoking ok. We work with credit problems. Call for details. Other unit sizes available, call 215-443-9500

Malvern/Great Valley 1BR 1BA $775 484-467-4766

Germantown fully furn, newly built rms cable, use of house,laundry 215-391-8132 LaSalle Univ area $125/week Renov furn rooms 215-843-4481 LaSalle Univ. area ROOMS FOR RENT Renovated, HW floors 6BR/2.BA 3 flr 2 kitch. 2 entrances Call Max 215-850-6618 NICETOWN 38xx N 19th St. single occupant, Large, clean room, w/cable, fridge & microwave, $110+/wk Call 215-225-5680 N. Phila: 22xx Lehigh Ave., 27. N Oxford 29th & Cecil B. Moore. Shared kitchen & Bath, $90-$115/week. 267-816-3058 N Phila Furn, Priv Ent $75 & up, SSI & Vets ok, nr trans. Avl immed 215.763.5565 Olney 5972 N Norwood renov furn cpt nr trans,kit,w/d, DISH $85&up 516.527.0186 S. Phila: 1425 S. 28th, Rooms, $100$125/wk. 1st, last, sec. 267-970-1773 SW, N, W Move-in Special! $60-$115/wk room sharing avail, SSI ok (215)220-8877 SW PHILLY: 19xx Cecil St. Rooms, $100-$125/wk. Use of kitchen & bath. Near transportation. 267-439-0007 Temple Univ area Rms $350-$500/mo laundry, yrd, furnished opt, 267.342.9378 Tioga: $125/wk utils inc, use of kitch/ba, ideal for T.U. student or Sr. 215-833-5858

WILDWOOD clean 2-3br, low rates Wkly Cable, pkg, nr beach 609-522-7678

HIGHLANDER 2004 Call 609-774-2402

4415 N. Orianna St. 3 BR/1.5 BA $750+ remod, w/d,fridge, Sec 8 ok 215.499.2364

Brigantine 2 BR Price Break: Aug-$875/wk , near beach 856.397.0616

2002 Jayco Pop-Up, A/C, potty, shower, sleeps 7, perfect, $4000. 610-952-6344

52xx Rubicam St. 2br/1ba $800+utils newly renov, small kitchen 215-843-2005

BRIGANTINE: PETS OK. 7/24-31: $1300. 9/4-11: $1025. BrigB.com 856.217.0025

FORD Econoline 1962 $4995 5 window p/u, runs great, 609-828-8537

W PHILA MEDIUM CLEAN ROOM & EFFIC AVAIL. NR TRANS 215-494-8794

20xx Dennie 2Br/1Ba $700+utils newly renovated. Call (484)883-7526

W & SW Phila Newly renov rooms, share kitchen & bath, all utils incl. 215.768.7059

homes for rent Christian St 3 BR/3.5 BA twnhse $2800 gourmet kit, fin bsmt, attached 1 car gar., balc. overlooking skyline, 856-433-0365

N. Wildwood 2+br apts from $99/night 2 blocks to bch/boardwalk 609.729.0561

14xx E Weaver St. 3BR $1200 +utils w/w, A/C, mod kit/BA, gar, clean bsmnt, quiet block,$3600 move in, 215-758-7129

MARGATE, NJ: BAYFRONT NEW CUSTOM BUILD 5br/4.5ba, weekly, monthly or rest of season @ ($30k/obo.) (609)442-5383

Margate NJ, Condo Aug. $5500 Bay view,state of the art ,pool 856.535.0873 N. Wildwood 2br $1500, 3br $2000 mnth of Aug. 1blk to beach 856.495.2857

14xx S. Etting (28th/Reed) 3 BR $675+ $2025 move in required (215)365-4567

6421 N Lambert St. 3 BR $875 newly renov, w/d, avl ASAP 215.768.8410

14xx S. Etting (28th/Reed) 3 BR $675+ $2025 move in required (215)365-4567

67xx N Bouvier 3br/1ba $800+utils 2 story, deck, close to trans 215.510.0476

2055 Mercy St 3 br/1 ba row $775+utils renovated, yard, hdwd flrs 856-803-0366 26th & Federal 2 & 3 BR $700-$800+ SW, 65th & Elmwood 2 & 3 BR $800+ gas & elec, Sec 8 welcome, 215.659.5348

27th & Reed 3 BR Sec 8 ok new renov, must see. 215-885-1700

31xx Aramingo 3br $850+ porch front recently remod. 215.630.9220

Agate & Clearfield 2BR $800+utils back yard, basement, $1600 required to move in, Call 215-205-3185

3rd & Jackson vicinity 2br/1ba $1300 rec room, hdwd flrs, exquisite, granite kit, c/a, back patio must see. 215-292-2176

Port Richmond 2BR/1BA House 800/mo Renovated, Central Air, New Kitchen, Granite, New Appliances. 215-990-2370

20XX Simpson 3br $725/mo renov, hdwd flr, sect 8 ok 215-424-2785

20xx Kingston 3BR/1 BA $700 2 mo security, 1 mo rent, 267-307-6964

26xx S. Bonaffon 3 BR $825+ utils hw flrs,$2475 mvn,avail 8/1 215.365.4567

Juniata: 40xx Potter St. 3br $850+utils renov, sec. 8 ok, nr trans (267)467-4322

56xx Beaumont Av. 3BR/1BA $725/mo porch, h/w floors 215-519-5437 58xx Cedarhurst 3BR/1.5BA $950 Available AUGUST 1 - Won’t last long 240-441- 8839

65xx Regent St. 3 BR $725+ utils backyard, washer, Call 215-964-4113 Olympus Place 3br/1.5ba $1100 1st, last & sec, all brick, large yard, deck, garage, 215-694-4473 after 5pm.

Mayfair 63XX Ditman St $890 Month 3 Br, 1.5 Ba Renov house on nice block. W/W in bdrms, hdwd flrs in LR/DR, up graded bath & kit. Fin bsmt w/laundry hookups & powder rm. Close to schools & transp. 215-947-6446 for appt.

Downingtown 3br/2ba Rancher $2100 sunroom, basement, garage, central air, Downingtown schools (410)918-0889

61st & Jefferson 2br & 4br discounted rent: $625-$875+utils. Carpeted with hdwd floors, for info 215-879-6666

252 N. Simpson Street 3br/1.5ba $850 www.perutoproperties.com 215.740.4900

21xx N. Corlies St 3br/1ba $700 small bkyd, full bsmt 302-838-8386 22xx N Gratz St. 2br/1ba $650+utils rear yard, no pets, Call 215-343-7490

Upper Darby 3-4 BR $1050+ utils corner row,fin bsmnt,ex con,610.284.5631

Collegeville 3br/2.5ba twnhse $1350+ no smoking/pets, all appl’s 215-527-5031

NAZARETH 3br/2.5ba TH $1550 & Dep. Redcliffe comm, bsmt, 1 car garage, 1 year lease, credit check. avl now 732-710-2553

MT. EPHRAIM 2BR $1595 Liv,Din, Kit, Fin Bsmt, w/d, yd, shed. some utils, 3 season rm, avail now 856.546.6114

13xx N 13th 4br/1.5ba $1500+utils laundry, yrd, furnished opt, 267.342.9378 9xx N. Dakota 3Br $650 security + 2 months rent. (267)506-0126

Ocean City, NJ sleeps 5 $125/night $850+/wkly beach blk, pets OK, N/S, (609)399-1239 or msmeow10@aol.com

Wildwood Crest 4BR weekly (reduced) No Pets, Close To Beach, 877-207-2743

Brier Crest: 5 BR, sleeps 12. Saw Creek, 3br slps 8, Wks & Wkends, 609-587-9493

automotive CAD Eldorado ’99 Black 46,600 orig mi. Ex Cd. Asking $8400 610-304-8307

Explorer XLT 4x4 2009 $21,000 29k, tints, custom stereo (610)458-0179 Ford Thunderbird ’04 8400 orig mi ex cd 2 tops Ask $29,000 610-304-8307

DISCOVERY SE 2002 $5975 luxury 4 dr all extras, orig miles, recently serviced, quick private sale 215-627-1814

Lincoln TownCar 2002 Signature Series, Luxury 4 door, original miles superb condition, not exagerrated, quick private sale, $5985. Call 215-629-0630

E320 Convertible 1997 $8800 100k, exc cond, loaded (609)347-8962

24th & Lehigh Area 3 BR Sect. 8 ok new paint, near transp, (610)337-2244 N. Philadelphia 3 BR $800+ utils new renov, bkgrnd/cred chk,267.977.1221

Ocean City, NJ: Bayfront 3 BR/2 BA VRBO.com #342902. Call 856-982-6868

ACCORD EX 2002 $6200/obo. loaded, exc cond, 98k mi. (610)585.0510

Darby: 4xx Darby Terr. 3br/1ba $845 new carpets, fresh paint, security required, Call 215-603-0688

Washington Twp. 3br/2.5ba $1800+ utils, 1car garage, no pets 856-803-0366

$275 & Up For Junk Cars Call 215-722-2111

DISABLED or RUNNING CARS: HIGHEST PRICE PAID. 267-288-4437

Junk Cars & Trucks Wanted, $400, Call 856-365-2021

Ocean City, NJ 3BR Condo $1200/wk Avail July & August. (717)917-7812

Harbison Area 3 BR Sect. 8 approved, call 267-939-6965

2xx N Wilton St 4br $800+utils hdwd flrs, w/d, lrg yard, no pets, credit check. $2400 move in. 215-919-8700

38xx W. Girard Ave 5 BR/2 BA $1200 rear deck, $3600 move in, 215-365-4567

Ocean City, NJ 1 BR/1 BA $1250/wk bch/brdwlk views,balc,pool 954.249.7560

$13,360

Grand Marquis GS 2004 $7700 silver exterior/gray interior, 75k miles, CD, A/C, excellent condition, 856-983-7282

FORD F-150 PICKUP 2000 $5985 LUXURY, EXT. BODY, FULL POWER, A/C, ORIGINAL MILES, GARAGE KEPT, OWNER SACRIFICE TODAY, FOR CONSIDERABLY LESS THAN BOOK VALUE 215-922-2165

TOYOTA TUNDRA SRS 2001 $6985 luxury pickup, 4 full door w/ext. body, new body style, 4WD, AC, carefully driven mi. looks new. sac. today (215)922-6113

low cost cars & trucks Buick Park Ave 1995 $2,250 x-clean, new insp, rns grt 215.601.6665 Cadillac STS 2000 $3000/obo loaded, runs great, 96K. 267-441-4612 Chevy Impala LS 2003 $4000 loaded, great cond, 1 owner 215-389-4310 Chevy Silverado ext cab ’92 $5000 Bed cap, well maint, low mi. 484.412.8636

CHEVY Van 1990 $1650 good cond, 137K, Inspected 215-657-6737

Dodge Grand Caravan 2002 $5,000 75K miles. 267.968.8199 or 215.271.2186 Ford 1996 Luxury High top Conversion Van (new body style), orig. mi., gar. kept, quick private sale $3975. 215-629-0630

Ford Taurus SE 2006 $3700 P/W, P/L, CD, 109k miles, 215-850-5702 Ford Windstar LX Van 1998 $2750/obo ld’d, 1own, new insp, mint215.601.6665 HONDA Civic EX 1999 Green $4,000 Exc Cond 110k 4dr 6spd 856-278-9749 Hyundai Elantra GLS 2003 $4795 auto, loaded, gorgeous. (610)524-8835 Jeep Grand Cherokee Laredo 1994 $1450 4dr, 4x4, loaded, clean, 215.947.9840 Lincoln MarkVIII 1995 $3,300 1 owner, garage kept, runs/looks beautiful, black, new battery. 610-636-2602

Mazda 626 1999 $2,400 4dr, 5 spd, 4 cyl, new insp. 267-798-6488 Mitsubishi Galante ES 2002 $2450 4dr,auto,loaded, cln, 28mpg 215.518.8808 Nissan Maxima 1991 $1450 auto, cold a/c ,runs new, 215.620.9383 NISSAN SENTRA 1.8S 2004 $4500 auto,4dr,86k,silver,xlt cond 215.900.6299

Altima SL 2002 extremely nice $5,350 122K, leather int., gar. kept. 215-464-2741

2.5X 2007 $14,000/obo 5 spd, 103K mi, moon rf, alloy whls, 6-CD changer, Sirius, pwr seats 610-659-9856

Pontiac Grand Prix 2001 $2300/obo 4 door, runs great, a/c, 267-441-4612 Subaru Legacy S/W 1994 $1,650 auto,S/R,new insp, runs new215.620.9383 VOLVO C-70 convertible 2000 $3695 172k., serviced, gorgeous 484.924.8795

Sharon Hill 1BR $625 heat incl New renov, Credit Check, 484-716-0232

Bryn Mawr Suburbs Priv ent, Serene, a/c, Cable, Near Trans, no kitch or laundry, No Smoking, $400/mo 610-525-5765 Darby area. N/S, $350/mo cable & utils inc, use of house, 484-469-0753 Delaware Co. Newly renov, close to trans. $100/wk 1st wk FREE 267.628.7454 Frankford, furn, no drugs, near El, room in apt, $90/wk+ $250 sec. 215-526-1455 Germantown Area: NICE, Cozy Rooms Private entry, no drugs (215)548-6083

Ruscomb St. 3br/1ba $950 front porch, section 8 ok. 215-680-5666

P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R | J U L Y 2 8 - A U G U S T 3 , 2 0 1 1 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T |

600 Anchor St 1br $565/mo New kitchen, 267-918-2766 83xx Frankford Ave 1 BR $550 Newly renov, near shopping & public transportation, I95. Call 215-310-9610 Academy & Knights 2Br $850 incl water Duplex, newly decorated, garage, basement, no pets. Call 267-342-1993 Bustleton Hald Vic 2br/1.5ba $875+utils 1st flr,renov kit, central air, w/w, d/w, gar, back yd, 215-429-9310, lv msg Byberry Road 2Br $875+ 1st flr, Central Air, hdwd flrs, appliances, fenced yard, near R3 train. 267-307-3560 Comly/Rising Sun 1BR MUST SEE Spacious & Clean. (267)254-8446

CAMRY LE 2007 $14,500 50k miles, new tires, red, 610-357-6582 Camry LE 2009 only 26K mi, $14,700 1 owner, pristine condition (215)464-2741

60xx Regent St. 3br/1ba $750+utils basement, yard, 215-806-7078 52xx Jackson 1 BR $690 lg 2nd floor, balcony, 267-230-2600

resorts/rent

classifieds

5220 Wayne Ave. Studio & 1 BR newly rehab, Lic# 507568, 267.767.6959 52xx Greene St 1br+xtra room $700+util country setting, great trans 610.287.9857 6314 Musgrave St. 1BR/1BA 1st Flr $620 Prvt entrance Heat Incl Parking Opt HCV/ Sect 8 Apprd Steps to bus 215-913-2789 The Fieldview Apts: 705-15 Church Ln Comfortable Living- Historic Germantown 1br $750, 2br $850 Gas,Water,Heat Free Close to Septa,Grocery,Eatery & LaSalle U. Call for appt. 215-276-5600 M-F 9-5 Wayne Junction Studio $475/mo + elec. shared ba, ww $1000 mv in 215-416-6538

7xx W Rockland 4br/1.5ba $1100 fully renov, sec 8 ok. 267-467-0140

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185 South Carolina Ave. Atlantic City (South Carolina & Boardwalk)

609-340-8820

SILK CITY

7pm til Midnight

I Â&#x2DC; G Â&#x2DC; LO G FRIDAY 7.29

CIEND DC ESTER IN ILLY

SATURDAY 7.30

Y YT I G C S K Y I S2

SUNDAY 7.31

S LEE JONES & DJ DIRTY Â˝ PRICED DRAFTS

2-4-1 ADMISSION $2 DOMESTICS $2 WELL DRINKS 2 COUCH DANCES FOR $25

Open every day 4pm - 2am Sat & Sun Brunch 10am - 4pm 5th & Spring Garden www.silkcityphilly.com

WEEKDAYS 5-7PM

17 Rotating Drafts Close to 200 Bottles

www.devilsdenphilly.com www.facebook.com/devilsdenphiladelphia www.twitter.com/devilsdenphilly

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2740 S Front St . Philadelphia CheerleadersWeb.com 215-467-1980