Philadelphia City Paper, May 17th, 2012

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SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 22 AT 8PM TOWER THEATER ! " # $ %%#%%% & ' ( )% * + , &' - . / &/ # & 0 1 ! 2 3 4 / 5# 6 4 .37 % 8% 8 # 9 6 4 .37 # : )%% 4 ! ; " " ! // & .37 < => # ? 2 @ A % 8 @8 ' / # / / 3 / 3 / ! ; " B C ' / $ 4%#%%% , / / > # 6% # ' / $)% %% $ #< @ %% 0 $ %%#%%% # 5 ' > % 6

TICKETS ON SALE FRIDAY AT 10AM ALL TICKETMASTER OUTLETS, 1-800-745-3000, THE BOOST MOBILE BOX OFFICE AT THE TOWER THEATER (69TH & LUDLOW, UPPER DARBY FIRST DAY OF ON SALE & DAY OF SHOW ONLY) AND THE LIVE NATION BOX OFFICE (111 PRESIDENTIAL BLVD, BALA CYNWYD).

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cpstaff We made this

Publisher Nancy Stuski Editor in Chief Theresa Everline Senior Editor Patrick Rapa News Editor Samantha Melamed Web Editor/Food Editor Drew Lazor Arts Editor/Copy Chief Emily Guendelsberger Associate Editor/Movies Editor Josh Middleton Senior Writer Isaiah Thompson Staff Writer Daniel Denvir Assistant Copy Editor Carolyn Wyman Contributors Sam Adams, A.D. Amorosi, Janet Anderson, Rodney Anonymous, Mary Armstrong, Nancy Armstrong, Meg Augustin, Justin Bauer, Shaun Brady, Bernard Brown, Chris Brown, Peter Burwasser, Anthony Campisi, Ryan Carey, Jane Cassady, Mark Cofta, Felicia D’Ambrosio, Jesse Delaney, Adam Erace, M.J. Fine, David Anthony Fox, Cindy Fuchs, K. Ross Hoffman, Brian Howard, Deni Kasrel, Gary M. Kramer, Gair “Dev 79” Marking, Robert McCormick, Andrew Milner, Cassie Owens, Michael Pelusi, Nathaniel Popkin, Robin Rice, Lee Stabert, Andrew Thompson, Tom Tomorrow, Char Vandermeer, John Vettese, Bruce Walsh, Julia West, Brian Wilensky Editorial Interns James Friel, Michael Gold, Katie Linton, Courtney Sexton, Alexandra Weiss, Nina Willbach Associate Web Editor/Staff Photographer Neal Santos Production Director Michael Polimeno Editorial Art Director Reseca Peskin Senior Designer Evan M. Lopez Editorial Designers Brenna Adams, Matt Egger Contributing Photographers Jessica Kourkounis, Mark Stehle Contributing Illustrators Ryan Casey, Don Haring Jr., Joel Kimmel, Cameron K. Lewis, Thomas Pitilli, Matthew Smith Human Resources Ron Scully (ext. 210) Office Manager/Sales Coordinator/Financial Coordinator Tricia Bradley (ext. 232) Circulation Director Mark Burkert (ext. 239) Senior Account Managers Nick Cavanaugh (ext. 260), Sharon MacWilliams (ext. 262), Stephan Sitzai (ext. 258) Account Managers Sara Carano (ext. 228), Chris Scartelli (ext. 215), Donald Snyder (ext. 213) Marketing/Online Coordinator Jennifer Francano (ext. 252) Office Coordinator/Adult Advertising Sales Alexis Pierce (ext. 234) Sales Intern Chelsee Lebowitz Founder & Editor Emeritus Bruce Schimmel citypaper.net

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123 Chestnut Street, Third Floor, Phila., PA 19106. 215-735-8444, Tip Line 215-7358444 ext. 241, Letters to the Editor editorial@citypaper.net, Listings Fax 215-8751800, Classified Ads 215-248-CITY, Advertising Fax 215-735-8535, Subscriptions 215-735-8444 ext. 235 Philadelphia City Paper is published and distributed every Thursday in Philadelphia, Montgomery, Chester, Bucks & Delaware Counties, in South Jersey and in Northern Delaware. Philadelphia City Paper is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. Additional copies may be purchased from our main office at $1 per copy. No person may, without prior written permission from Philadelphia City Paper, take more than one copy of each issue. Pennsylvania law prohibits any person from inserting printed material of any kind into any newspaper without the consent of the owner or publisher. Contents copyright © 2012, Philadelphia City Paper. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced without written permission from the publisher. Philadelphia City Paper assumes no obligation (other than cancellation of charges for actual space occupied) for accidental errors in advertising, but will be glad to furnish a signed letter to the buying public.

contents Let’s break bread.

Naked City ...................................................................................6 Arts & Entertainment.........................................................18 Movies.........................................................................................30 The Agenda ..............................................................................32 Food & Drink ...........................................................................41 COVER PHOTOGRAPH BY NEAL SANTOS DESIGN BY RESECA PESKIN

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Police Officer Heidi A. Morris DRPA-PATCO Police

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SEPTA, DRPA, PATCO and NJ TRANSIT police are working together with federal, state and local security professionals to make your daily commute safe from crime and terrorism. For more information, please visit StayAlertNow.com.

The Philadelphia Area Regional Transit Security Working Group

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WE TRAVEL WITH YOU EVERY DAY

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the thebellcurve CP’s Quality-o-Life-o-Meter

[ + 1 ] Jay-Z and Michael Nutter hold a press

conference to announce the two-day Budweiser Made in America music festival in September. In fact, the mayor will now make an appearance anytime somebody comes to town to sell something.

[0]

SeekingArrangement.com, a site that hooks up sugar babies with sugar-daddy dates, tells CBS3 that Temple University is its fifthbiggest source of young women.And on the demand side, it’s 100 percent Wharton.

[ -1 ]

Camden police arrest 22 women for prostitution and related offenses during “Operation Corridor Sweep.” Ladies, you could’ve gone anywhere in the world. Next time, choose Temple.

[0]

According to a new report ranking 100 U.S. cities based on porn consumption, Wilmington is third and Philadelphia is 35th. Totally typed that one-handed.

[0]

The Fraternal Order of Police announces it will leave Center City and breaks ground for its new 50,000-square-foot headquarters in the Northeast. “We just feel safer up here,” says spokesperson. He then puts up the “No Girls Allowed” sign and runs home, where his mom has supper waiting.

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[0]

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city

Police evacuate a building housing two police districts in the Northeast when a man turns over a live grenade he found inside a radio he bought at a flea market. The FOP retreats further north, plans a badass tree fort in Bensalem.

[ + 2 ] The city unveils the $4.9 million redesign

of the 1.3-acre Sister Cities Park on the Parkway. Let’s see, 1.3 acres = 56,628 square feet, so the city spent $86.50 per square foot. Now, we just called the Great American Cookie Company at the Echelon Mall, and they said a 16-inch personalized cookie-cake is $22. That means instead of installing new trees and shit, the city coulda carpeted the whole park in chocolate-chip cookies about five deep, with lots of overlap because they are round. And each cookie could’ve had a message on it — written in icing! We bet our Sister Cities would have loved that. Everybody loves cookies.

This week’s total: +2 | Last week’s total: -14

THOMAS PITILLI

[ health ]

NOT CARING ENOUGH Community health centers — the only thing keeping a growing number of uninsured out of the ER — could become a casualty to politics. By Jake Blumgart

I

t’s just before 7 a.m. on a Friday morning, and Anthony, a single father from West Philadelphia, is waiting for the doors to open at Health Center 3, an institutional-looking blue box of a building at the edge of Clark Park. He lost his health insurance in October and can no longer afford the medication for his high blood pressure. He had been trying to self-medicate with a home remedy of vinegar and water until a recent health scare sent him seeking help. “It got real bad last week. I should have gone to the hospital, but times is tight,” he says. “Nobody can kick out a couple hundred for a visit.” He was shut out of Health Center 3 on his first try, having arrived at 9 a.m. So he found a sitter for his kids, got up early the next morning and got in line again. Health Center 3 is one of 38 health-care sites, some run by the city and others by nonprofit organizations, that are the only thing between more than 240,000 uninsured Philadelphians and the emergency room — or no care at all. The facilities are the centerpiece and public face of Philadelphia’s health safety net, yet the city has not built a new one since 1984. But a little-publicized clause of the Affordable Care Act — yes, the much-maligned “Obamacare” — provided $11.5 billion in grants,

phased in over five years, to construct and expand community health centers nationwide. Philadelphia nonprofits have been taking advantage, but Republicans in Congress have put the brakes on a large portion of that spending. Consequently, while the demand for health-care access in Philly’s poorest neighborhoods is staggering, the network of city and nonprofit health centers does not have nearly enough capacity to meet it. Evidence of that can be found early each morning outside Health Center 6 at Fourth Street and Girard Avenue. “The waits are extremely long; there are people who are outside waiting an hour to two hours before it opens,” says Michael Martinez, who works there. “If they do not have an appointment, it’s hard for them to be seen if they are not among the first five or six patients in the door. They all know this, but if everyone knows it, someone is not going to be seen.” That’s for a walk-in; waits for appointments can be just as daunting. According to Martinez, even Health Center 6, “one of the better centers,” is backed up until August. Health Center 10, in the Northeast, has no appointments available until January 2013. Last year, the eight city-run health centers served 84,000 clients, charging fees of $5 to $20 on a sliding scale and accepting patients regardless of insurance status. (It’s difficult to determine how many patients are served by the slew of smaller nonprofit centers.) But 16.1 percent of Philly’s adult population is uninsured (more than 20 percent in most low-income neighborhoods) — up from 7.8

“Someone is not going to be seen.”

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hostilewitness

[ a million stories ]

✚ VALUE PROPOSITIONS

✚ BREAKING HISTORY

Like all good poker players, key movers in Philly government have been sizing one another up in recent weeks over Mayor Nutter’s Actual Value Initiative property-tax-reassessment scheme and its potentially bankrupting impact on low-income residents. Recently, Council President Darrell Clarke laid out his cards: a package of amelioratory measures to lower burdens on owner-occupied properties (a “homestead” exemption), offer relief in gentrified areas and allow deferred payments. Now the question, City Finance Director Rob Dubow told Council at hearings this week, is the cost of such measures. “Such relief would have to be paid for in some way,” he pointed out — the primary way being out of the pockets of other property owners. (Not, apparently, by commercial real-estate owners: According to Councilman Bill Green, they’ll likely see their bills drop.) The homestead exemption Clarke proposed would have a “flip point” of around $175,000 to $200,000, according to Dubow. “A substantial number of homeowners would have no bill at all,” while those with more valuable properties would see their bills rise. Though the administration is clearly wary of an outcry from middle-class homeowners, ignoring the plight of Philly’s neediest may be equally perilous. “We’ve seen a spike in the number of municipal mortgage foreclosures,” Community Legal Services lawyer Monty Wilson said. He estimates 67,000 Philly homeowners live at or below the poverty line. Without relief, “those are the people who are going to see their bills double or triple.” He worried that could kick off a tax-foreclosure crisis. Dubow, however, was focused on the bright side: “Notwithstanding potential short-term difficulties in making property-tax payments, those whose property values increase over time will eventually see the benefit.” —S.M.

Ever wonder what makes a building historic in Philadelphia? It turns out architectural significance and sheer age aren’t enough. It also has to be certified by the Philly Historical Commission, as Norris Square, Fishtown and Kensington residents learned at a zoning meeting last week, regarding an old — but not, officially, historic — bank building at Front and Norris streets. The nonprofit Women’s Community Revitalization Project wanted to raze it and build 25 low-income housing units, a proposal fraught with issues like high density and the El rumbling overhead. About 12,000 buildings around the city are protected as historic. “Why not the bank?” neighbors wanted to know. But getting a building certified is no simple feat. “The historical commission is overworked. They don’t have time to certify [buildings] on their own,” said city planner David Fecteau. In any case, WCRP insisted the property — which had been in hands of Norris Square Civic Association for more than a decade — was structurally unsound. Plus, a WCRP representative said, “The developer is not in the business of restoring commercial buildings. It sounds like a commercial developer should have been here, but is not.” Actually, developer Tim McDonald of Onion Flats tells CP he met with NSCA president “Pat DeCarlo about this about four or five years ago. I said, ‘Would you guys be interested in selling this?’ … She said they had other plans for it.” DeCarlo insists that he had asked her to give him the property, not to sell it. And as Fecteau pointed out, if those other plans included demolition, there’s nothing to stop that — not even the community’s 60-to-21 “no” vote on WCRP’s proposal. The only protection: a historic —Samantha Melamed certification. But it’s too late for that.

By Daniel Denvir

photostream ³ submit to photostream@citypaper.net

MEREDITH KLEIBER KLEIBOGRAPHY.COM

³ THE FISCAL CRISIS facing our public schools

is being exploited by a movement to privatize public education, break unions and subject students to high-stakes test-prep regimes. But it is a crisis nonetheless — one that requires long-term solutions, immediate band-aids and, critically, a substantial commitment from Philly’s largest stakeholders. As I’ve reported, the state, whose School Reform Commission (SRC) has controlled Philly schools since 2001, has underfunded poor districts for decades. This fiscal year, Gov. Tom Corbett and the Republican legislature slashed nearly $300 million of Philly’s funding. The district now faces a $218 million deficit for the coming year and a $1.1 billion cumulative five-year shortfall. “We have a dysfunctional conversation here,” Republican City Councilman Dennis O’Brien told the SRC last week. “We have a five-year plan [from the district] with no anticipated revenue from the state until 2016 or ’17? What the hell is up with that?” Sure: Corbett probably isn’t eager to deliver aid to Philly. But the crisis is statewide: Upper Darby, Harrisburg, York. Philly could lead a movement. Short-term solutions, though insufficient, are also critical. The city’s funding debate has revolved around Mayor Nutter’s controversial request that a recalibrated property-tax system pay out an additional $94 million. But deep-pocketed Philadelphia institutions could also help soften the blow. Penn (with a $6.58 billion endowment) hides behind its nonprofit status and pays no property taxes to the city. And unlike nearly every Ivy League school in the country, Penn pays no “payments in lieu of taxes,” or PILOTs.In 2005, Harvard agreed to pay Boston $60 million in PILOTs over 20 years; Yale pays about $8.1 million a year to New Haven. Already, a yearly investment of about $800,000 from Penn has turned West Philly’s Penn Alexander School into a shining beacon in the troubled district. Imagine what a few million more dollars could do. Nutter has said that Act 55, a 1997 state law, stripped the city of its ability to legally challenge nonprofit exemptions, and thus made it impossible to demand PILOTs. But in April, the state Supreme Court ruled that cities could hold nonprofits to a tougher standard. The city has indicated it will. The city should make Penn pay now. And if Nutter had the gumption, he would lead a movement of mayors to demand that Corbett meet the state constitution’s requirement to provide for “a thorough and efficient system of public education to serve the needs of the Commonwealth.” ✚ Send feedback to daniel.denvir@citypaper.net

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Scene at the City Stables

MAKE ’EM PAY

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✚ Not Caring Enough

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percent in 2000. Over half the city is designated as a “medically underserved areaâ€? by the federal Health Resources and Services Administration. The city won’t be stepping up its services soon — not with more cuts from Harrisburg on the way. “We could easily double the number of health centers,â€? Martinez says. Despite the ACA money, we’re “not even close [to meeting the need]. ‌ Without Obama’s health-care act, even that wouldn’t be possible.â€? There are bright spots: New ACA-funded centers that are focused on treating uninsured and low-income patients with dignity. In April, North Philly service organization Congreso De Latinos and nonprofit health-care provider Public Health Management Corp. (PHMC) partnered for the official opening of the Congreso Health Center at Second and Somerset streets in Kensington. The center contains six exam rooms and offers comprehensive primary care for all ages, gynecology, HIV and other STD testing, counseling and nutrition education. Dental and vision care are part of the long-term plan. The grand opening events included tours of the building, and neighborhood residents seemed impressed. “I’m very surprised,â€? one elderly woman remarked. “I never expected [the health center] to be so much. It is very nice.â€? Although the health center had actually been open since December, Congreso did not widely advertise its presence. They wanted to ensure all the services were in place before demand got too high. Even so, the center, which saw 50 to 60 patients in December, was treating 150 per month by February. Chronic conditions such as asthma, obesity, high blood pressure and diabetes are far more prevalent in North Philadelphia than in the city as a whole. HIV and other STDs are more common as well. PHMC’s network of five centers currently serves about 13,000 patients, and they expect their patient capacity to expand by 10 percent in the next year. This expansion is an oddity in an era marked by rollbacks in many public-health programs, including Pennsylvania’s Medicaid program, which expelled 88,000 children last fall. “The philosophy is equal access to care for all,â€? PHMC spokeswoman Dina Wolfman Baker says. “It’s not equal if there are two castes. That [equality] is what you are seeing represented on the surface when you walk in and see a gleaming health center.â€? Community health-care advocates say they’re right not to compromise on quality. But the result is simply less capacity. Though the centers are a relative bargain — they saved the U.S. health-care system an estimated $24 billion nationwide in 2009 by forestalling expensive emergency room visits and hospital stays — funding them at a sufficient pace to meet demand has proven a political challenge. Originally, the Affordable Care Act was going to provide a larger bounty to cities like Philadelphia. But Republicans in Congress have helped to oversee a 27 percent reduction in the annual appropriations allotted to community health centers. While the initial grant round, which allowed the Congreso center’s opening, was meant to fund 350 new or

refurbished centers nationwide, it provided funding for just 67. Many ACA grants are being used to maintain or expand currently operating health centers rather than open new ones. This month, three local organizations won a collective $2.9 million in ACA grants; all will use the money for needed renovations or to add capacity to existing centers. “If all the money that was authorized in the ACA were to be appropriated, I think the answer [to whether Philadelphia’s community health centers have sufficient capacity] would be different,â€? says Donald Schwarz, Philadelphia’s Health Commissioner and Deputy Mayor for Health and Opportunity. “But Congress has refused to appropriate all the money ‌ and we don’t know what will happen in the future.

“It’s not equal if there are two castes.â€? At the moment, I believe there are areas of the city where we have inadequate access.â€? Despite the ACA money and other grants, community health centers are meant to be largely self-sustaining. This is achieved by serving enough insured patients to balance the cost of caring for the uninsured, and by working to enroll uninsured patients in public healthinsurance programs when they’re eligible. “If the ACA moves forward as proposed, it will have great positive impact,â€? says JosĂŠ Rivera, vice president of health-care services for Congreso. “It will mean we’ll see an increase in the number of people who are insurable, which will make our financial position stronger.â€? If funding cuts aren’t reversed or if the ACA is repealed — as conservatives would like — the delicate balance on which community health centers rely would grow even more precarious. (editorial@citypaper.net)

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From our readers

PUPPET SHOW Our cover story about Peanut, a North Philly gangsta puppet [“Getting Real,â€? Cassie Owens, May 10, 2012], sparked outrage in letter-writer Sam Silbiger:“I am an 18-year-old resident of the city, and felt that the article recently published about YouTube character Peanut was an unwarranted, unnecessary and disgraceful excuse for journalism. You are the gatekeepers of information that is absorbed by the community, and to feature such a shameful representation of culture in Philadelphia on the front page of your publication serves only to further bigoted perceptions of the black community, and add to the whirlwind of multimedia refuse that continues to grow larger every day. I am a white student involved in an organization called the Philadelphia Youth Poetry Movement, and through it, I have met some of the most talented writers and speakers ever to cross my path. Most are black, and to see your publication push them aside for Internet smut makes me inexpressibly angry. I implore you to consider assigning your writers to stories that matter and not to trash.â€? Citypaper.net commenter nat turner questioned Peanut’s (and, we assume, Peanut’s creator’s) consumer choices: “This puppet shops at City Blue. ‌ Watch closely as black dollars leave the hood, never to return. So sad.â€? STUCK IN THE PAST Our story about a state law banning people with records from ever working in schools [“Barred for Life,â€? Samantha Melamed, May 10, 2012] ended with a quotation from a man,

now a violence-prevention specialist for a nonprofit, with a 20-year-old drug conviction, who said, “You get 20 doors that shut, and you get 20 offers to come back to the corner.� Online commenter akelsey wrote, “The last line says it all. Really, really short-sighted legislation.� Commenter omseeker added: “Very sad — people who do their time should be given forgiveness and another chance.� SWEARING IN A blog post by our anonymous foulmouthed architecture historian [“DeadAss Proposal of the Week: South Bridge,� GroJLart, Naked City, May 8, 2012] caused commenter Tanksleyd to write: “Aside from the gratuitous cursing, an interesting piece of local history.� Gratuitous? We find GroJLart’s cursing to be quite warranted. See for yourself every Tuesday at citypaper.net/nakedcity.

We welcome and encourage your feedback.

Mail letters to Feedback, City Paper, 123 Chestnut St., 3rd Floor, Phila., PA 19106. E-mail editorial@citypaper.net or comment online at citypaper.net. Submissions may be edited for clarity and space.

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Amid the feud over the city’s hungry homeless, radical pastor Bill Golderer sees a moment of opportunity.

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ast week — more than two months after Mayor Michael Nutter called a hasty press conference to announce a ban on giving away free meals in city parks — a task force of city officials and homeless advocates he belatedly appointed to come up with new meal solutions finally met. That effort, according to several accounts of the meeting, did not get off to a roaring start. Arthur Evans, who directs the Department of Behavioral Health, offered a note of reconciliation to the several task-force members who represent the very feeding efforts being banned — but this was somewhat overshadowed by the crashing of the party by the uninvited Brian Jenkins, director of meal provider Chosen 300 Ministries and a leading critic of the mayor’s ban. The administration and homeless advocates have been clashing publicly for weeks, and worked together not much better behind closed doors. “It seemed like a room where there wasn’t a lot of trust,” acknowledges the Rev. Bill Golderer, a Presbyterian minister who heads the Broad Street Ministry on Broad Street between Spruce and Pine and sits on the task force. “And without trust, there’s very little progress to be made.” Since the initial outcry over the ban, and a different regulation requiring Health Department permits to serve free food, things have only gotten uglier. A Board of Health hearing drew hundreds in opposition. A second hearing was so heated that the entire Board of Health left the room and holed up in another one, shutting the door and letting in only a few

reporters and representatives. Recently, a third hearing was inexplicably rescheduled at the last minute. And, as City Paper reported earlier this week, the Philadelphia law firm Kairys, Rudovsky, Messing & Feinberg is now investigating a possible federal lawsuit against the city on behalf of feeders who claim the ban violates their freedom of religion. But sometimes, conflict begets opportunity — and Golderer gets that. Forty-two years old, with slightly boyish looks and a youthful energy that sometimes manifests in torrents of words and probably explains how he can also double as senior pastor at Arch Street Presbyterian Church, Golderer has largely stayed out of the feud between feeders and the city. But he hasn’t been idle. For months now, he’s been busy positioning himself and his church smack-dab in the middle of what he hopes will be something new in the city’s homeless-service landscape. Rather than taking sides, he’s quietly expanded his church’s services — the first steps, he hopes, in a radical experiment to reimagine Philly’s tattered homeless safety net. Broad Street Ministry already hosts a city-funded “cafe” shelter for the homeless during cold months and serves two meals a week in its spacious sanctuary — a free lunch on Thursdays and an after-service dinner on Sundays. Golderer is preparing to increase that to six per week within the next 90 days. His goal is to get to nine. That, he hopes, is just the beginning: “The ‘more meals’ part of this could well be the least interesting part to mention of what I hope will unfold,” he tells CP. Golderer sees in the current uproar — along with the (almost certainly related) opening of the Barnes Foundation

words by

ISAIAH THOMPSON Photos by NEAL SANTOS

the naked city feature

“THE MOST CHRONIC, DEBILITATED PEOPLE OF THE CITY FOUND US.”

Seven years ago, Bill Golderer arrived in Philly with the assignment of reviving the historic church on South Broad Street, once the place of worship for notables such as Joseph Wanamaker, but by that time the empty shell of a congregation that had evaporated. “We were like the kid at the middle-school dance,” Golderer says, “that nobody wants to dance with.” The transformation that’s taken place since — and it’s quite the transformation — has been spiritual first and structural second. Early on, Golderer and his Broad Street Ministry staff decided that their congregation would be open — super open — “and some people took us up on that claim: the most chronic, debilitated people of the city, the people who to some are the scourge of Center City. Those people found us. And it

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and the pouring of money into other public spaces on the Parkway; along with the slow, grinding decline of the city’s shelter system; along with the disaster of poverty likely heading our way if Gov. Tom Corbett’s budget proposals are realized — a “moment” that he intends to seize. “We’re working toward this world-class Philadelphia, anchored by the Barnes — and I’m excited about that. It’s a good thing. I want the Barnes,” he says. “But do you know how much money it took to raise the Barnes? If we’re going to be stepping up to support things like this, then the do-gooders need to make sure this indoor-meal system will happen. When this city wants to do something, it can do it.” His plan is not without risk: namely, the risk of pissing off the city, his wealthy Center City neighbors and his religious and secular colleagues. But it’s a necessary risk, and if his plan pans out he’ll have helped bring them all a little closer together.

was either we go away, or we go forward.” The church basement was converted into a minimalist homeless “cafe” that sleeps up to 80 people on a cold night. It’s one of the only shelters in the city where a man and woman may sleep next to each other. An old coat room was refitted into a tiny thrift “store,” from which visitors can select free clothes. When Golderer learned that another nonprofit had stopped providing mail service for the homeless, he had his staff create a post office from scratch. “When we started,” recalls BSM staffer Liam O’Donnell, “we said, ‘We’ll limit it to 50.’” The post office currently serves 600. The centerpiece of the church’s transformation is something both simple and, as it turns out, intensely complicated: meals. Six years ago, BSM launched its “Breaking Bread” program: a free meal, served at Thursday lunchtime, open to all. It’s not by any means the only free meal to be had in Center City. Most of the city’s homeless shelters serve meals, though mostly only to residents; a small handful of churches serve meals one or two days a week; Chosen 300 Ministries, on Spring Garden Street, serves six times a week; and the Sunday Breakfast Rescue Mission proudly serves three meals a day, seven days a week. Then there are the recently banned (but still being served) meals on the Parkway. BSM’s may, however, be the most unique free meals in Center City. There are the small touches, like a pleasant jazz track playing in the background while folks eat using real silverware and non-disposable plates, a shared bowl of rolls at the center of each table. More importantly, says Golderer, “The entire operation is designed to reduce anxiety — the anxiety of not knowing if there’ll be enough left for you, the anxiety of feeling like you have to hurry up or you’re going to miss out. Middle-class people don’t worry about whether something’s going to run out; the people who come here worry all the time, every day.” At BSM, there is no line for food, because guests are served at their tables. There is no line for the “personal-care ministry,” which provides such basic amenities as deodorant, socks and underwear, thanks to a new color-coded lottery the staff devised. “You know that you’ll be called when your color comes up, so you can take your time, relax, enjoy your meal,” explains O’Donnell, who administers the lottery. To avoid the possible discomfort of having to ask for unmentionables, BSM created “order forms” that allow guests to check off their needs with privacy and dignity. “When an adult man has to say to Karen” — Rev. Karen Rohrer, who helps with the personal-care ministry — “that ‘I need clean underwear,’ I don’t want to live in that world,” Golderer says emphatically. With the underwear — as with the deodorant, as with the mail, as with the food — the better the service, the higher the

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Pastor Bill Golderer envisions a total overhaul of the city’s homeless-service strategy.

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Lunches at Broad Street Ministry (top) are served restaurant-style, to shift the focus from “shelter” to “hospitality.” The BSM building (bottom), at 315 S. Broad St., counts upscale venues like the Kimmel Center among its neighbors.

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demand. “Once you have good food,” Breaking Bread coordinator O’Donnell says, somewhat philosophically, “you have a capacity problem.” To make room for guests, the church quite literally ripped the pews out of its sanctuary and put in rows of round tables. They recently spent half a million dollars creating an industrial-grade kitchen. Despite all that, capacity remains an issue. Take, for instance, underwear — BSM can hand out 135 pairs a week and still run out. When Rohrer had to tell a man a week ago that they had none left, it sounded like a small stone had been lodged in her throat. “The underwear thing has been incredibly stressful,” Golderer acknowledged later. “It’d be as if my wife said, ‘Honey, I need deodorant, can you pick some up?’ and I was like, ‘No, honey, remember? We can’t afford that.’” It’s a philosophy of care that might be summed up this way: If you’re going to offer something, offer it all the way. BSM brings in therapists and nurse practitioners and a part-time housing “consultant” to see guests. Crammed into a little room outside the sanctuary during meals, a group of ladies huddles around sewing machines, mending guests’ clothes. Downstairs, a “therapeutic art” table attracts, as staffer Becca Blake puts it, “every possible demographic.” A recent visit saw BSM experimenting with “dog therapy” in the form of an Alaskan husky happily trying to lick the face of anyone who came by to pet him. It is, in essence, the opposite of what many homeless people associate with the city’s formal homeless structures, especially its shelters, which have seen basic services like case management cut over the last few years. “Our core business is not shelter,” Golderer says. “Our core business is hospitality.” The first part of Golderer’s big plan is to drastically increase capacity at Broad Street Ministry in order to reach that goal of nine meals per week, which will happen in part by bringing other groups into the fold. Since the mayor’s ban was announced, Golderer’s reached out to some 20 groups that had been serving meals outdoors and invited them to use BSM’s space and facilities. At least two appear ready to partner up to do a Saturday meal. He’s also explicit about his desire to tap wealthy neighbors — with whom he seems to be making inroads — to help out. “This isn’t Newark — this isn’t a city where there simply is no money anywhere,” he says, remarking on the irony of

scrounging for deodorant across the street from the fabulously expensive glass walls of the Kimmel Center. The second part of his plan is a little more complicated. Essentially, Golderer is trying to position himself between two groups of people who care deeply about the homeless, but who operate worlds apart. On the one hand, there are people like the Chicken Lady, a woman with a big heart and a remarkable gift for making a particular dish: spicy pineapple chicken. As she once explained to Golderer, one day God told her to feed people. “So she told her church to fill freezers with pineapple chicken,” he says. “She bought an industrial grill. And she drove it all to the Parkway.” Word got out. A huge line formed — and fights broke out. “And here she was, doing God’s work and watching people brutalize each other.” It’s a critique of the outdoor “feeding” model (Golderer detest the term) that’s shared by many, not least the nonprofits and institutions that serve the homeless full-time. They’re the other side of the divide Golderer hopes to bridge — the Parkway crowd and institutions like the Bethesda Project and Project H.O.M.E. sit on the same spectrum, but on opposite ends. “Any advocate of the homeless is not in favor of those people feeding on the Parkway,” asserts Angelo Sgro, former director of the Bethesda Project, now retired. “Because it gives almost no chance to change things for anybody.” Crucial to Nutter’s announcement of the ban on Parkway meals was the presence by his side of Sister Mary Scullion, founder of the nonprofit Project H.O.M.E. and something of > continued on page 16

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a homegrown prophet when it comes to homelessness in Philly. After the announcement, Scullion told CP that her support for the mayor’s ban was, essentially, conditional on the mayor’s offering more resources for the homeless. Scullion, who once handed out sandwiches herself, wants to see energy and resources committed where she says they matter most: “The single most important thing for ending homelessness today is housing,” she says. Whether homeless people eat meals outside on the Parkway or, as the mayor has proposed, at a temporary site on City Hall’s construction-clogged apron is profoundly less important to her than the fact that they are homeless to begin with. Many nonprofit service agencies hold city contracts to run shelters and provide other direct services. The thing is, those institutions simply don’t fill all the gaps. The city’s shelter system is often despised by those who have to live in it, especially single men. Options, particularly for those at the beginning of the long process of moving beyond basic shelter to other services, are extremely limited. “There are some people who will never feel comfortable in the center of society where basically most people are,”

says Sgro. “They drift to the margins. I think that Bill, what he’s actually doing, he’s creating space at the margins for people. He gets it: They need that space.” And while service providers might criticize outdoor meal providers for applying feel-good, band-aid solutions, outdoor meal providers can just as easily point to the long lines of hungry people waiting for their food as an indictment of the city’s “official” solutions. “There’s some romance in what we do, some feel-goodness,” admits Adam Bruckner, who provides meals on the Parkway and writes checks for people to pay for government IDs. “But for me, it’s just about meeting the need where it is. I don’t advertise. And our ID program is really essential to many of the facilities in the city. I don’t say that self-promotionally — they tell me that.” Golderer has so far managed to have a foot in both worlds. “The outdoor feeders are the gold medalists of compassion — I love the Chicken Lady,” he says. “And I’m not about to sit there and say her impulse to service is wrong, because I’m frickin’ about that. And I also love the service providers.” A major problem, he says, is that everyone — including him — could get more done by working together. But it’s

not just the outdoor feeders (many of whom are wary of his offer to let them serve out of Broad Street Ministry) who can be territorial. A bigger issue, he says, is a citywide funding model that fosters competition, not collaboration. The city contracts most of its homeless services via the competitive bidding process of Requests for Proposals. “An RFP, by its very nature, assumes that creating competition among service providers benefits the end user. I think it’s high time we examine the wisdom of that,” he says. “What you hear over and over [from homeless people] — and I wish I could provide a meal for every time I’ve heard this — is that we should blow the whole system up and start over.” Broad Street Ministry is, essentially, an experiment in doing just that. The debate over outdoor feeding — and Golderer’s attempt to make his congregation a very public part of the solution — represents an opportunity for his congregation to make good on their rhetoric. “In this city, you have to pay your dues,” he acknowledges. “You have to spend time in the dark place.” So far, he, his staff and his congregation seem to be succeeding in establishing their public pulpit. “In my experience, you take a step and then you have to take the next step,” says Scullion, who’s been following Golderer’s work with interest. “There’s pros and cons to Bill’s way,” she says, but “he’s stayed the course. And the people who are part of Broad Street Ministry are not sitting on the sidelines.” (isaiah.thompson@citypaper.net)

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artsmusicmoviesmayhem

icepack By A.D. Amorosi

³ FUCK BUZZ BISSINGER.The Philly news guy

with the new book you should turn your attention to is former Fox29 features reporter Gerald Kolpan. He likes his language brusque yet elegant, and judging by both his first novel, 2009’s Etta, and his just-out second effort Magic Words: The Tale of a Jewish Boy-Interpreter, the World’s Most Estimable Magician, a Murderous Harlot, and America’s Greatest Indian Chief (Pegasus, May 1), Kolpan’s thoroughly enamored of Wild West lore. Kolpan says he lets his characters guide their own trajectories and tell the writer where they want to go. Magic Words’ Prophet John McGarrigle popped out of nowhere. “I met McGarrigle, the clairvoyant Indian scout, at exactly the same moment Julius, the Jewish boy-interpreter, did. It’s a good thing, too — as things turned out, it’s only the presence of Prophet John that keeps Julius alive. Without that character, there would’ve been no book. Don’t ask me where he came from.” As for what’s so darnedtootin’ fascinating about the untamed West to a longtime Philadelphian, Kolpan follows his nose, just like any staunch newshound would. “That’s where the story took me. As far as writing what I know, the modern world is kind of boring, frankly. The furniture’s too simple, the clothing’s too dull to describe, and before you can put a character in jeopardy, you have to explain why his cell phone’s not working.” Kolpan will read and sign at the Free Library May 23. Bring yer six-shooter and $27 for Magic Words.³ Is there a strange, wonderful plan to bring Coldplay to Underground Arts — not to eat, but to perform some wack grimy private show — days before their double-duty stint at Wells Fargo Center July 5 and 6? ³ Owen Kamihara, the proud papa of Northern Liberties’ El Camino Real and Bar Ferdinand, is planning on putting an authentic wood-burning stove into the latter loco location soon-very-soon to make his alwaystasty empanadas pop. Kamihara is also readying, with Standard Tapper William Reed,the “biggest baddest” Second Street Festival ever for the first weekend in August with, more than likely, manic ole Man Man as its headlining hoedowners. ³ If you see Jersey Shore’s Pauly D at the Pool in A.C. this weekend, congratulate him on his new pre-made various-flavored vodka-drink deal for “Remix” (can’t believe no one thought up that booze name before) that finds him in bed with business partner David Kanbar, the co-founder of Skinnygirl Cocktails (that's the pre-made booze that Bethenny Frankel supposedly made a cool $120 million selling). Booze is better than T-shirt time, any day. ³ All the characters are in jeopardy when Ice gets illustrated at citypaper. net/criticalmass. (a_amorosi@citypaper.net)

ACTION: Forte calls his second mixtape, Eyes of Veritas, a “suspense thriller.” NEAL SANTOS

[ hip-hop ]

IN A WORLD … Local rapper Gilbere Forte rhymes about his big-screen dreams. By Cassie Owens

P

retty much the only thing you’ll find at gilbereforte.com is a YouTube trailer for his upcoming EP, Some Dreams Never Sleep. It starts with the standard straight-faced MPAA screen about how the preview is approved for all audiences. Cut to local hip-hopper Gilbert Forte talking frankly about being inspired and inspiring others. Then the music swells and we get time-lapse shots of clouds and stars and planes zipping across the sky. After that it’s all shots of Forte behind the scenes — making moves in the industry, trading daps and breaking bread with noteworthy DJs, producers, singers and MCs. For a guy like Forte — a self-professed movie geek who seeks to infuse hip-hop with the cinematic experience — making a trailer to viral-market his music was a no-brainer. “I focus so strongly on trying to recreate the feeling that I got as a child from watching movies by doing it in my music,” Forte says. “Listen to my music, it’s like listening to a movie with your eyes closed.” A native Midwesterner, Forte was born in Flint, Mich., and spent time in Chicago before moving to the Philly burbs when he was 12. It was in high school that he began to take beatmaking seriously. “That’s where it started for me. I wanted to get into

making beats at an early age because I was such a fan of film composers and how they put music together for movies,” he says. “From there, it was probably about 10th grade, I said, ‘You know, I want to start making lyrics to the beats.’ … And so I found myself in and out the hallways between classes rapping with my friends.” At Temple, he met co-producer and partner-in-crime Rakib “Raak” Uddin. He shares Forte’s love of movies and an appreciation of Kanye West. About three months into producing together, the two began to find their niche. “We started thinking, OK, the music that we’re making — it could be bigger. It could be like film scores and crazy shit like that. We just started taking it to a different approach, to really what we listen to outside of the hip-hop, and we just put all of that into our music,” Uddin explains. Forte’s 2010 debut, 87 Dreams, is moody in a way that bypasses emo sentimentality and heads straight for ambient. The genre-bending isn’t solely a meshing of references: Production-wise, Forte rhymes with various regional styles, accent shifts included. He looks to revive the reaction you had when you heard that one Yeezy song, saw that one HP ad, watched that one Christopher Nolan movie and started leaning to that one ATL snap song, simultaneously. “I kind of look at myself as a movie director,” he says. “I write to a different emotion each time. … I want to keep people on the edge of their seats, their toes, when they listen to the music.”

“It’s like listening to a movie with your eyes closed.”

>>> continued on page 20

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[ a return to form after recent ditherings ] It was easy to get an early idea of the integrity of Sister Blue Band’s new I Should’ve Said No (sisterblueband.com). Jonny Meister of XPN’s decades-old Blues Show was on it with enthusiasm, and he takes the blues seriously. Sis Blue is on that mission, too, writing new songs in the old style. She wants to know how women ended up with “Twice the Work,” and she’s still missing the late Zan Gardner in “The Shadow Next to Me.” SBB plays Red Hot & Blue in Cherry Hill on Saturday (May 19, redhotandblue.com). —Mary Armstrong

³ blues/folk/comp It’s not often you hear something so wonderfully from another time it’s practically alien. That’s the feeling you get listening to the scratchy blues and warbly voices on Jail House Bound: John Lomax’s First Southern Prison Recordings, 1933, just released on Global Jukebox. It’s also not often you hear somebody say the n-word in the unblinking, post-nothing way the famed ethnomusicologist does on the intro track. It’s as disturbing as the rest of the album is captivating. —Patrick Rapa

flickpick

Moving past the folksy, home-recorded ethno-pop of their debut and the ambivalent eclecticism of 2010’s Pigeons, Here We Go Magic settle into a streamlined, mellifluous new groove on A Different Ship (Secretly Canadian). It’s easily their least interesting record to date. But it’s also their best-sounding (thank uberproducer Nigel Godrich), as well as their best: All those soppingly soft edges, politely percolating, quasi-kraut-y grooves and Luke Temple’s passably pretty vocals add up to something unremittingly —K. Ross Hoffman ordinary and yet oddly enchanting.

³ electronic Drill ’n’ squelch lifer Tom Jenkinson has a knack for cerebral productions that can also be deliriously enjoyable — when he so chooses. Ufabulum (Warp), his 12th-ish Squarepusher full-length, comes on like a return to form after recent ditherings, frontloaded with some characteristically glorious master classes in manic, melody-maxed jitter-funk. But, lest we get too comfortable, the album’s back half grows hardedged and forbidding, plunging into bone-chilling sci-fi soundscapes and jackhammering acid rampages. Happy nightmares, ravebot. —K. Ross Hoffman

[ movie review ]

MANSOME

³ DOOMED TO REPEAT IT According to a program note, “This show was made without the use of shamrocks, blarney stones or green beer.” Better still, Enda Walsh’s play is free of the maudlin self-pity that is the soda bread of life for so many Irish dramatists. Don’t get me wrong: Walworth Farce is profoundly sad — and funny, scary and destabilizing. It’s also too long and maddeningly opaque. But if Walworth is nearly impossible to figure out, it’s even harder to forget. Walworth’s set in a squalid London flat, where Irish immigrant Dinny (Bill Van Horn) and his two adult sons, Blake (Harry Smith) and Sean (Jake Blouch), endlessly re-enact their improbably disastrous family history. “Re-enact” is not metaphorical — props and costumes are used in the play-within-a-play. Over time the details seem to shift, despite Dinny’s bullying insistence that they stick to his script. “Is any of this story real?” asks an exasperated Sean. Good question — the audience is asking it, too. But it doesn’t matter: The only reality here is that the trio is irreparably damaged by some combination of violence and disappointment so much so that it’s no longer possible for them to live in the present. But eternally reliving the past proves even more harmful. (You could see Walworth as a sly condemnation of the beloved Irish art of storytelling.) Be warned — this play obeys few rules of basic dramaturgy. It was a huge Edinburgh Fringe hit, recommendation enough for some audiences and enough to keep others away.What’s important about this production is that director Tom Reing knows the only way to do Walworth is all-out. He and his company, the three actors plus eventual interloper Leslie Nevon Holden, deliver with virtuosity. If the accents sometimes falter — and they do, Nevon Holden’s especially — the commitment never does. —David Fox

(d_fox@citypaper.net)

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✚ Through May 27, $20-$25, Off-Broad Street Theatre at First Baptist Church, 1636 Sansom St., 215-454-9776, inisnuatheatre.org.

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[ C ] THE HAIR ON my head is brown, while my beard is red. I’m occasionally asked about this, despite it being a fairly common anomaly, and tend to shrug it off with some reference to my sun-loathing Irish and German ancestors. Thanks to the similarly two-toned Jack Passion, I now have a much better answer: The hair on my head is my “boy-hair,” while the beard represents my “man-hair.” Passion, a self-proclaimed professional “beardsman” with an absurd, torso-devouring beard sprouting from his chin, is but one of the ridiculously self-absorbed characters introduced in Morgan Spurlock’s latest documentary-lite, Mansome. Up until now, Spurlock’s films have tended to be glib, shallow glances at some pop-culture phenomenon, depicted with a facile, regular-guy sense of humor, that all end up being less about their ostensible subject than about Spurlock himself. At first, Mansome appears to be more of the same: The opening chapter follows a few comments from ironically moustachioed hipsters with a lengthy focus on the director’s own trademark handlebar. But after 15 minutes, his own catalog of facial hair exhausted, Spurlock disappears from the remainder of the film. Where Spurlock would typically try on mud masks and cucumber slices, Arrested Development co-stars Jason Bateman and Will Arnett tease each other while getting pampered at a spa, and Judd Apatow, Paul Rudd, Zach Galifianakis and Adam Carolla make self-deprecating jokes about their own grooming habits. Passion is the worst offender, and therefore granted a huge chunk of the film to make himself look bad. So disproportionately pretentious are his declarations that when an unprovoked drunken Bavarian bystander alternates yanking Passion’s beard with flipping him the bird, loyalties become divided. A couple of sociologists pop up to offer opinions on men’s body image changing to more closely parallel women’s, but Spurlock isn’t interested in insight beyond, “Hey, isn’t it silly to shave your back?” —Shaun Brady

Torsodevouring beards.

TOE UP: Up All Night’s Will Arnett is among the cast of famous dudes who sit around a spa making self-deprecating jokes about their metro grooming habits.

CP theater review

KATIE REING

³ blues

curtaincall

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[ disc-o-scope ]

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✚ In a World ‌ <<< continued from page 18

“Now that people know that I’m a free agent, it’s a whole new ball game.�

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[ arts & entertainment ]

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presents

N.Y. Export: Opus Jazz West Side Story choreographer Jerome Robbins’ “ballet in sneakers�

W O R L D P R E M I E R E B Y M AT T H E W N E E N A N

May 31–June 3 Merriam Theater

Soloist Jermel Johnson | Photo: Dom Savini

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with Barber Violin Concerto & Beside them, they dwell

paballet.org Official Hotel

Official Health & Fitness Facility

Official Airline

Dropping 87 Dreams was the start of a breakout year for Forte. He lent bars to a slew of remixes and singles, including Stromae’s “Alors on Dance,â€? with Kanye West, and the Yeasayer remix of Florence + the Machine’s “Dog Days Are Over.â€? By January 2011, he’d signed with Universal Motown. The next month saw the release of his second mixtape, Eyes of Veritas. Forte calls Eyes a “suspense thriller.â€? It carried production from Raak, Don Cannon, Bink!, Lex Luger, Boi-1da and Bengie. Still, he was restless. “The person who had actually signed me was a woman by the name of Sylvia Rhone,â€? says Forte. “Sylvia left Universal Motown ‌ and at that point I was, like, ‘Wait a second.’ This was the woman that I felt like was going to be able to take and push my career to the next level. So when she left, I was, like, ‘I need to get out of this record contract.’â€? Universal Motown released Forte from his deal per his request. By the fall of 2011, he was an independent artist again, dropping Some Dreams Never Sleep, is a hard, beat-heavy, guestfeature-laden collection of songs that Forte describes as “a composition of music to satisfy the listeners that say, ‘I wonder what he sounds like next to this artist.’â€? The EP includes collabs with Tyga, Big K.R.I.T., Maluca, Pusha-T and Jim Jones. “Now that people know that I’m a free agent, it’s a whole new ball game,â€? he says, ready for his next sequel. When it comes to lyrics and delivery, Forte’s formidable. But when his beats are fully steeped in that soundtracking niche, unabashedly trying to sound like a campy ’80s thriller over hip-hop percussion — that’s when Forte is in the zone. His next project is set for this July. When asked to describe it, he’s back in cinephile mode. “It’s kind of one of those things where — when you go to the movies and they show previews on the [screen] and it’s, like, Pew! Pew! Pew! Pew! Bam! There’s a date. This is kind of how I feel right now.â€? (cassie.owens@citypaper.net)

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“The movie is funny, no question.” - INDIEWIRE

WRITTEN BY JEREMY CHILNICK & MORGAN SPURLOCK DIRECTED BY MORGAN SPURLOCK

®

EXCLUSIVE ENGAGEMENT

STARTS FRIDAY, MAY 18

LANDMARK THEATRES

RITZ AT THE BOURSE Center City 215-925-7900

VIEW THE TRAILER AT MANSOMETHEMOVIE.COM

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EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS WILL ARNETT, JASON BATEMAN, AND BEN SILVERMAN

feature | the naked city

[ music/theater ]

MURDER ON THE HIGH C’S By Emily Guendelsberger PHOTO BY NEAL SANTOS

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How to sing very, very badly. April Woodall

ADOP T

ME

STEWIE!

2-YEAR-OLD BOXER/TERRIER MIX I’m looking for love. My first owners surrendered me because they were moving, so now I’m at PAWS looking for a new home. I’m an active, fun-loving boy who’d make a great buddy for older kids. I’m also an excellent running and hiking partner! I walk well on a leash and I’m already housebroken. Located on the corner of 2nd and Arch. All PAWS animals are spayed/neutered, vaccinated, and microchipped before adoption. For more information, call 215-238-9901 ext. 30 or email adoptions@phillypaws.org

AW: Well, they didn’t think it was, because she was setting herself out there and not responding to their laughter. I think they also wondered whether she was doing it for the laughter — that they would disappoint her by not laughing at something so obviously funny.

AW: I don’t believe so. I think

S

aying Florence Foster Jenkins was the worst soprano of all time is an exaggeration, but she’s probably the worst soprano to sell out Carnegie Hall. Jenkins was born in 1868 and grew up studying music in Wilkes-Barre. Her father was wealthy, but refused to send her to Italy to study opera (possibly because she was so obviously ungifted musically). But once she got out on her own in New York in her mid-30s, she turned herself into high society’s camp heroine. At recitals, she tackled difficult coloratura soprano arias in elaborate costumes, apparently unaware that she was consistently flat or that her audience was laughing. We spoke about the legendary singer with Curtis alum April Woodall, who stars as Jenkins in Center City Theatre Works’ production of Souvenir through Saturday.

Foster Jenkins before playing her? April Woodall: When I was a vocal student …

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CP: Was that cruel?

CP: Was she in on the joke?

City Paper: Were you familiar with Florence

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[ arts & entertainment ]

we were given the assignment to go down into the basement, get the reel-to-reel recordings out and listen to her as an example of what not to do. And you listen and your heart sympathizes with her, because someone who loves what they do that much, you have to admire them. ... [But] her technique was just so bad. She didn’t have a voice that you’d really want to listen to. When you Google “worst singers in the world,” she comes up, also that young fellow who was the first person they kicked off American Idol — the “ShebangShebang” fellow? CP: William Hung! AW: Yes! And he went on to make a career of sing-

ing the way he felt like singing, and she did too. CP: How did people react at her public concerts? AW: There was a gentleman who walked by the

theater the other day and looked at the poster and said, “I got to see her, and people did laugh right out loud!” Probably her society ladies were polite, but people did laugh. … And because she didn’t seem to hear them laughing, they simply let loose.

that she may have been telling herself what she needed to hear in order to keep her head up, as we often do. We build a legend about ourselves and then we believe it. CP: Vocal training helps singers

sound good, but it’s important in not damaging the vocal cords. How do you sing so badly without hurting your voice? AW: What I’ve been doing is to use my full vocal support, but just mis-tune my ear. I try to go at it with the fervor she did — it is not easy, because at the end I have to sing well. CP: Singing well and singing in

this comic way are so different; is one easier or more enjoyable for you than the other? AW: Being able to sing badly and hit any note I want to is really enjoyable. (Laughs.) Training as an opera singer, every sound that comes out of your mouth is critiqued. Being able to open up and do anything that strikes my fancy is a lot of fun. CP: Why do people love to sing? AW: People sing at karaoke, in

church choirs, on the street, to themselves. I think it’s a deeply, deeply human thing and it — it actually makes me kind of emotional, sorry! (Laughs.) Mostly you do it for yourself, but if other people get something out of it, then what better kind of human connection is there? (emilyg@citypaper.net) ✚ Through May 19, $16-$20, Skybox at

the Adrienne, 2030 Sansom St., 215732-3797, centercitytheatreworks.org.

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The Philadelphia Shakespeare Theatre 2111 Sansom St. Philadelphia, Pa. 19103

Twelfth Night: March 23 - May 20 Titus Andronicus: April 11 - May 19 Tickets: Call 215-496-8001 or visit phillyshakespeare.com

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curtaincall

[ arts & entertainment ]

Changes of Heart

CP theater review

³ PRISONERS OF LOVE The best, most lasting comedies offer more than just laughs. Changes of Heart (or, The Double Inconstancy), by criminally overlooked 18th-century writer Pierre de Marivaux, works on multiple levels despite approaching its 300th birthday. Romantic comedy provides a crowd-pleasing base, but the playwright’s Age of Enlightenment themes of equality and sincerity make the 1723 play — loosely set in 1930s America in the Philadelphia Artists Collective’s effervescent production — relevant today. Stephen Wadsworth’s breezy 1994 translation, dynamically directed by PAC co-founder Damon Bonetti, presents a provocative situation for the modern audience: A prince (Kevin Meehan), disguised as a guardsman, woos beautiful commoner Silvia (Jessica DalCanton), then has her kidnapped and held in his palace. His modern ideals require that she fall in love with him naturally — “I want to win your love with love,” says the abductor — rather than because of his power and celebrity. The prince’s evolving conscience isn’t troubled by holding Silvia against her will, though, as she pines for her village lover Harlequin (Dan Hodge). The prince’s henchperson Flaminia (Charlotte Northeast) tries to distract hyperactive Harlequin with va-va-voom “I love to be ogled” Lisette (Krista Apple), but he remains loyal. Slapstick shenanigans ensue, involving stuffy servant Trivelin (John Lopes), accompanist and singer Andrew Clotworthy (installed stage right at a piano, sipping a martini)

and, occasionally, surprised and delighted audience members. Designer Katherine Fritz gives the Broad Street Ministry’s ideal (except for its lack of air circulation) 75-seat space some clever low-budget elegance, and excels with her glamorous 1930s gowns and suits, all colorfully lit by Robert A. Thorpe. The “Golden Age of Hollywood” setting extends to acting styles (though they’re still influenced by Marivaux’s experience with the Italian commedia dell’arte school of improv), with Northeast particularly adept at the era’s rat-a-tat line delivery, and DalCanton sparkling as the innocent yet spunky and free-spirited ingenue. PAC co-founder Hodge channels all the Marx Brothers in a brilliantly frenetic performance as Harlequin. The character’s silliness, exemplified by a sublime moment when he pinches his comical bowler hat into a gangster fedora and becomes a fast-talking noir tough, is expertly balanced by his sincerity, as when he movingly describes falling in love with Silvia. The script abounds with asides — moments when characters share thoughts with the

audience — then shatters the old theatrical convention by allowing Harlequin to overhear them. These winking stylistic flourishes don’t overwhelm the story, though; the characters emerge as three-dimensional people with universal needs for love and security. Even taciturn Trivelin has a heart, which we know because we watch it, sadly and hilariously, get broken. The heart’s changes give the play a surprising conclusion best not divulged. Most romantic comedies fit together neatly, like jigsaw puzzles — but here, as in life, one happy ending comes at the cost of another. Love is seldom as neat, Marivaux shows, as plays and movies would have us believe. To the entire production’s credit (only PAC’s second, after fall 2010’s terrific Duchess of Malfi), Changes of Heart is great goofy fun — and, after a little reflection, offers mature and timeless wisdom. —Mark Cofta

(m_cofta@citypaper.net) ✚ Through May 26, $15, Broad Street Ministry, 315 S. Broad St., 800-838-3006, philartistscollective.org.

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DANCE CELEBRATION

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Summer semester begins June 4!

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[ movies ]

BLACK THOUGHTS Actor Jack Black talks about finding the funny in his new murder-com. By Cassie Owens

W

e caught up with Jack Black to talk about his new movie, Bernie. In the true-story mockumentary, directed by Richard Linklater, Black and Shirley Maclaine play good friends Bernie and Marjorie before (spoiler alert!) Bernie kills the constantly nagging Marjorie and stuffs her into an icebox. What’s so funny about that? City Paper: Were you aware of Bernie Tiede’s story before you were approached about the project? Jack Black: No, it was a regional story that … Rick [director Linklater] was aware of because he’s a Texas man, and he was obsessed with it when he read about it. He went to the actual trial and saw the sentencing and started working on it then. He’s been working on it for like 13 years. CP: You had the chance to meet Bernie. What did you guys talk about? JB: Mostly I just wanted to watch him, pick up some behavioral clues, listen to his voice and watch him walk and all that kind of stuff. But I also asked him what his relationship was like with Marjorie and why he didn’t just leave when she started treating him really badly. CP: After meeting Bernie, what did you see as your biggest chal-

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lenge in portraying him?

JB: I knew that would be the ques-

tion people in the audience had: “She’s treating you like crap, why don’t you just get out of there?” And that’s always the question you ask with abusive relationships.

[ arts & entertainment ]

CP: The movie is so funny and so dark at the same time. How did you walk that line as an actor? Did you see this as a comedic part at all? JB: Yeah, there are some funny Jack Black in Bernie things about it but it’s definitely on the darker side. But I wasn’t going for laughs. There’s no joke. It’s a very strange story. It’s a very peculiar story because this guy is the most liked guy in town, the least likely to commit a murder, and that’s where the humor kind of comes from: just how peculiar the story is.

CP: You worked with Richard Linklater on School of Rock. How different was it to work with him on a project like this? JB: It was a great experience getting back together with my old pal. He likes to go over everything with a fine-tooth comb. I’m the same way. … I like to prepare. I like to do my homework. [With] a lot of directors, you show up and you do it on the day, and you do all your homework by yourself. I like to get with the director and the other actors and work through the scenes, find some new things and change the script a little bit as we go.

CP: What was it like to work with Shirley Maclaine?

CP: Where do you find the humor, if at all,

JB: I love Shirley. She’s super-seasoned to say the least. I mean,

in Bernie’s story? What humor would you like audiences to take from the film? JB: He’s an incredibly compelling character because of his sensitivity. And it’s also sort of the comedy in the movie, I think, that this incredibly considerate and thoughtful guy could be driven to murder. There’s something funny about it. (cassie.owens@citypaper.net)

she’s seen them all. She’s got amazing stories from [old] Hollywood, like hanging with Frank Sinatra. She’s captivating. She can hold a room in the palm of her hand. It was amazing to watch her work. CP: You sing gospel music in this film. Had you ever sung that

genre before? And do you feel like your time in Tenacious D prepared you to hit those high notes? JB: (Laughs.) I feel comfortable getting up in front of a crowd and singing, so that was good. There’s some amazing songs. I’m actually really into the gospel now. I’ve been talking with Kyle [Gass, the other half of Tenacious D] and we’re actually considering putting out a gospel album, we think that could be really funny.

Bernie opens Fri., May 18; read Owens’ review on

p. 30. Tenacious D plays Sat., June 30, 8 p.m., $45, Festival Pier at Penn’s Landing, 121 N. Columbus Blvd., 856-365-1300, ticketmaster.com.

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[ IN WITH THE NEW ]

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NEW BATTLESHIP

"

+++++! A TRIUMPH! A TRUE-CRIME TREAT." – Joshua Rothkopf, TIME OUT NEW YORK

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" JACK

BLACK IS BRILLIANT." – Betsy Sharkey, LOS ANGELES TIMES

EXCLUSIVE ENGAGEMENTS

START FRIDAY, MAY 18

LANDMARK THEATRES

RAVE MOTION PICTURES

Center City 215-925-7900

Voorhees 856-783-2726

RITZ FIVE

RITZ CENTER 16

Read Drew Lazor’s review at citypaper.net/movies. (Pearl, Rave, UA Riverview)

BERNIE|BIn mockumentary Bernie, Richard Linklater spotlights the quirky Texan hamlet of Carthage, using a bevy of real-life townspeople as narrators. The divine Shirley Maclaine plays Marjorie, a wealthy widow who is pretty much evil incarnate. Jack Black (see the Q&A with him on p. 26) plays the titular Bernie Tiede, a sweet assistant mortician who is the town jewel. The two forge a twisted friendship, allowing the seasoned actors to shine opposite one another. Black, in an uncharacteristically serious role, takes Bernie’s falsetto gospel solos, flair for musical theater and uneasy demeanor head-on, levying chuckles along the way — or until things take a morbid turn when his character morphs into a cold-blooded killer. Matthew McConaughey (whose Texan mother makes a cameo) plays the local district attorney, tasked with getting to the bottom of the murder case. The candor of McConaughey, his mother and the rest of the townsfolk is a pleasure to watch. But does the hilarity only lie in their forthcomingness? Are we supposed to laugh at Bernie because he’s closeted or because he’s Jack Black? It’s obvious Bernie’s a dark comedy, but it’s hard to know when it’s OK to laugh. —Cassie Owens (Ritz East) THE DICTATOR | C However coarse the chameleon comedian’s leanings may be, proponents of the Sacha Baron Cohen canon have always been able to string together strong defenses of his work, citing its value as unorthodox social commentary.

Dimwitted despot Admiral General Aladeen, Cohen’s latest immersion-therapy character, will have a much tougher time recruiting highbrow apologists — the fully scripted Dictator possesses none of the chaotic verity of Cohen’s past faux-doc films, but all of their shock value. The despised leader of fictional Wadiya, the racist, sexist, idiotic Aladeen is at once power-drunk and powerless — manipulated by shifty Tamir (Ben Kingsley), he pays starlet Megan Fox to lay with him and plays custom Wii games recreating the Munich massacre, but has no idea the numerous “executions� he’s demanded have resulted in back-door immigration to New York, the city he’s forced to visit by the U.N. Scheduled to appear before the world to address suspicions he’s gone nuclear, Aladeen is quickly double-crossed by oil-hungry Tamir, replaced by a puppet look-alike and left for dead in America. Reconnecting with weapons specialist Nadal (Jason Mantzoukas), Aladeen falls into a day job at the hippy-dippy organic commune of Zoey (Anna Faris) while he plots a powder-keg disruption of Tamir’s master plan. On its face The Dictator skewers the post-9/11 unease many Americans wrestle with when it comes to unfamiliar Muslim nations, but the jokes, save for a pointed stoppagetime rant on government corruption, are not as satirical as they are plain old sticky. Long-form cracks about Osama bin Laden’s restroom habits, masturbation and Cohen’s long-term love, the vagina, may be funny, but the scales are tipped so far to the scatological side that the goofs just hang in the air, stinking up the joint and distracting from his more lucid ideas. —Drew Lazor (Pearl, Rave, UA Riverview)

LOSING CONTROL A haiku: Can science help you find love? Don’t answer out loud. I’m a newspaper. (Not reviewed) (Ritz at the Bourse)

SURVIVING PROGRESS|B

✚ REPERTORY FILM

1003 Arch St., 215-922-6888, thetroc. com. Eddie Murphy Raw (1987, U.S., 93 min.): Akeem Joffer drops the F-bomb 223 times in one night. Mon., May 21, 8 p.m., $3.

CINEMATHEQUE INTERNATIONALE L’Etage, 624 S. Sixth St., cinemathequeip.com. Hukkle (2002, Hungary, 75 min.): Underneath this neo-realist-like portrait of a rural village, a cop explores a murder mystery. Wed., May 23, 7 p.m., $10.

COLONIAL THEATRE 227 Bridge St., Phoenixville, 610917-1228, thecolonialtheatre.com. The Room (2003, U.S., 99 min.): This epically awful melodrama has nearly developed a Rocky Horror-like cult following. Fri., May 18, 9:45 p.m., $8. The General (1926, U.S., 107 min.): Buster Keaton’s Civil War-era slapstick classic gets live pipe-organ accompaniment. Sat., May 19, 7 p.m., $13.50. To Sir with Love (1967, U.K., 105 min.): Sidney Poitier plays a Guayanese teacher who makes a surprising connection with his working-class British students. Sun., May 20, 2 p.m., $8. The Loving Story (2011, U.S., 77 min.): This documentary looks at the Virginian couple whose lawsuit overturned statutes against interracial marriage. Sun., May 20, 4:30 p.m., $8.

[ movie shorts ]

NOMAD PIZZA 611 S. 7th St., 215-238-0900, nomadpizzaco.com. Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (1971, U.S., 100 min.): We’re 90 percent sure Snooki stole her look from an Oompa Loompa. Fri., May 18, 10 p.m., free. American Beauty (1999, U.S., 122 min.): Kevin Spacey stars in this grim look at the American suburban family. Sun., May 20, 8 p.m., free. Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery (1997, U.S., 97 min.): Groovy, baby. Wed., May 23, 8:30 p.m., free.

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Heidi Murkoff’s guide to pregnancy has sold something like a ridicuzillion copies, so it’s no wonder its name has been grafted onto a star-studded omnibus rom-com. There is some precedent in adapting an advice book, namely Woody Allen’s Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex, which sent up the absurdities of its source material with wit and irreverence. Those qualities are in short supply here. Pitched directly to women who likely have a dog-eared copy of the book close at hand, What to Expect avoids any humor aimed at panicky expectant mothers, instead alternating between maternal-glow beaming and bodily fluid grousing. The male half of the equation, on the other hand, is fair game. The film’s five couples are composed of strong, if neurotic, women and reluctant or hapless men. If the situations that these mothersto-be find themselves in relate in any way to the titular guidebook (and they don’t, beyond the fact that humans give birth), then millions of women could have saved themselves a few bucks and shelf space. Every lesson on view here has been taught countless times, often with more intelligence and humor, on sitcoms and soap operas. —Shaun Brady (Pearl, UA Riverview)

THE BALCONY

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NOT-SO-SILENT CINEMA Bryn Mawr Film Institute, 824 W. Lancaster Ave., Bryn Mawr, 610-5279898, brynmawrfilm.org. The Mark of Zorro (1920, U.S., 118 min.): A quintet’s live improvised musical accompaniment spices up the classic swashbuckler tale. Tue., May 22, 7:30 p.m., $12.

FROM EXECUTIVE PRODUCER

MARTIN SCORSESE & THE FILMMAKERS OF

T H E C O R P O R AT I O N

“MIND-EXPANDING.�

-KENNETH TURAN, LA TIMES

“+++H It tells the truth.�

SECRET CINEMA

-ROGER EBERT

The Trestle Inn, 339 N. 11th St., 267239-0290, thesecretcinema.com. Go, Go, Go World! (1964, Italy, 82 min.): A titillating compilation of shocking and exotic behavior from around the globe. Tue., May 22, 8 p.m., $7.

THE AWESOME FEST The Trocadero, 1003 Arch St., 215922-6888, thetroc.com. Awesome; I Fuckin’ Shot That! (2006, U.S., 90 min.): To celebrate the life of MCA, Awesome Fest screens this Beastie Boys concert flick. A DJ spins oldschool hip-hop before the movie and BB videos screen afterward. Thu., May 17, 8 p.m., $5.

With MARGARET ATWOOD, JANE GOODALL,

NATIONAL MUSEUM OF AMERICAN JEWISH HISTORY 101 S. Independence Mall East, 215923-3811, nmajh.org. The Rosenwald Schools (2012, U.S., 20 min.): An excerpt from an in-progress documentary on schools created for rural African-American children in the South. Wed., May 23, 6:30 p.m., $10.

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“It seems like we’re stuck in this trap for the past 200 years, where we think progress is more of the same, that we should make our machines better and make more machines.� As Ronald Wright speaks, you see time-lapse images of traffic and construction and industry, machines in relentless motion. These machines embody the question at the center of Mathieu Roy and Harold Crooks’ film, inspired by Wright’s book, A Short History of Progress (itself based on a 2004 lecture series). How has the very idea of progress become its own sort of machine? Wright goes on to describe another idea, the “progress trap.� In this configuration, new technologies lead to more (if not precisely new) problems, having to do with diminishing resources and increasing greed concerning those resources. Unable to think beyond present conditions, those in power focus on maintaining present conditions and consolidating their power, undermining the very notion of “progress.� The film assembles a number of talking heads to ponder the contradictions of such machines (whether literal or notional, like credit default swaps), including Jane Goodall ("Chimp brains are like and not like human brains"), Margaret Atwood (“The World is this big finite sum�) and human rights activist Kambale Musavuli, who explains how Western banks abuse emerging economies for profit. Linking biology and economics, the movie makes yet another case against Wall Street and also for a “moral� progress, one that will curtail the machines. It’s one of those “pretty to think so� arguments, but it’s also pretty convincing. —Cindy Fuchs (Ritz at the Bourse)

WHAT TO EXPECT WHEN YOU’RE EXPECTING|D

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MANSOME|C Read Shaun Brady’s review on p. 19. (Ritz East)

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LISTINGS@CITYPAPER.NET | MAY 17 - MAY 23

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[ it’ll all make sense on the dancefloor ]

SAVE THE LAST DANCE: Momix finishes off the Dance Celebration season at the Annenberg, tonight through Sunday.

The Agenda is our selective guide to what’s going on in the city this week. For comprehensive event listings, visit citypaper.net/listings.

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IF YOU WANT TO BE LISTED:

Submit information by email (listings@citypaper.net) to Josh Middleton or enter them yourself at citypaper.net/submit-event with the following details: date, time, address of venue, telephone number and admission price. Incomplete submissions will not be considered, and listings information will not be accepted over the phone.

THURSDAY

5.17

they always play to a full house with the audience laughing and clapping. If you’ve never taken advantage of one of the many opportunities to see Momix, reMIX is a good primer — the evening consists of both new works and excerpts of greatest hits from the company’s 30-year history. Area premieres include ensemble piece “Baths of Caracalla” and gymnastic solo “Table Talk”; classics are drawn from favorites like Pole Dance, Botanica and saguaro-inspired Opus Cactus. —Janet Anderson Thu., May 17-Sun., May 20, $32-$75, Annenberg Center, 3680 Walnut St., 215-898-6702, annenbergcenter.org.

[ dance ]

[ opera ]

✚ MOMIX

✚ CENTER CITY OPERA THEATER

Dance Celebration closes out its season with Momix, a wacky troupe that mixes dance, comedy and high athleticism. Moses Pendleton and his team of performer/choreographers have been part of the Annenberg series so long they’re practically its resident dance company, yet

A surprising and completely delightful trend in the musty old world of opera has been a robust interest in the creation of new works. In this town, the Opera Company of Philadelphia, as well as the superb studentbased programs at Curtis, Tem-

ple and AVA, have all been part of this exciting movement. And the splendidly scrappy Center City Opera Theater, which began life as a vehicle for Verdi, Mozart and Rossini, has taken a lead role in the embrace of the new; indeed, it seems to have re-invented its mission around this idea. This week it presents the East Coast premiere of Il Postino, by the late Mexican composer Daniel Catán, which was originally commissioned by Plácido Domingo. The work is based on the life of Chilean poet Pablo Neruda. —Peter Burwasser Thu., May 17 and Sat., May 19, 8 p.m.; Sun., May 20, 2 p.m.; $39-$79, Prince Music Theater, 1412 Chestnut St., 215238-1555, operatheater.org.

[ theater ]

✚ ASYMMETRIC New City Stage Company closes their “Terror Within”-themed season with Brooklyn sci-fi scribe Mac Rogers’ new play, Asymmetric.The six-year-old company’s first commissioned work features an alcoholic CIA

interrogator called up to the agency’s mysterious Fifth Floor to break a traitor. Producing artistic director Ginger Dayle calls Asymmetric “a love story hiding inside a spy thriller that also reflects mental-health issues and substance abuse.” Kevin Bergen stars as the world-weary agent, and co-artistic director and veteran actor Russ Widdall makes his directorial debut. Bonus: Widdall reprises his 2011 Fringe Festival hit, Sam Shepard’s Savage/Love and Tongues, May 26 to June 3. —Mark Cofta Through June 10, $10-$35, Second Stage at the Adrienne, 2030 Sansom St., 215-563-7500, newcitystage.org.

FRIDAY

5.18 [ dj nights ]

✚ RANDOM PUTS Random is a new concept

party series, and this edition — themed Party Under the Stairs, or PUTS — is a spot-on reflection of the evening’s basement vibe. Some of the city’s finest party crews like Skratch Makaniks, LBS and Illvibe Collective have assembled to make the night pop off with everything from hip-hop to house at the fresh 1200-square-foot Underground Arts. Random party favors and costumes are, of course, encouraged, as the evening will also serve as a birthday celebration for Mr. Sonny James (aka DJ Statik). —Gair “Dev79” Marking Fri., May 18, 9 p.m., $10, Underground Arts, 1200 Callowhill St., undergroundarts.org.

[ rock/pop ]

✚ TY SEGALL/ WHITE FENCE Philadelphia makes a solid showing, but the buzz is that — befitting its lysergic legacy — San Francisco’s got the liveliest neo-psychedelic rock scene going these days,

one that values punkish, ramshackle energy and loose, meandering tunefulness over textural subtlety. It’s also a hotbed of hyper-prolificacy: Among tomorrow night’s ambassadors, each the one-man project of an inveterate collaborationist, Ty Segall has unleashed something like six solo records, plus innumerable team-ups and EPs, of scuzzy, in-the-red noise assaults (and the occasional gentler, prettier psych-folk ditty). And he’s got another one due next month. White Fence, aka Timothy Presley (L.A.-living, but indelibly Bay-area-bred), is something of a drippier, hippie-er Bob Pollard, churning out an endless stream of lo-fi warbles and baubles, like those on the brand-new, two-volume Family Perfume (Woodsist). Oh yeah, Segall and White Fence have also got a killer new joint effort: Hair (Drag City), an eight-song, 26minute sunburst that nails a sloppy, Nuggets-y stoner-psych sweet spot, constant spitting distance from both George

—K. Ross Hoffman Fri., May 18, 9:15 p.m., $12, with Teen Anger, Johnny Brenda’s, 1201 N. Frankford Ave., 215-739-9684, johnnybrendas.com.

[ disco/not disco ]

—K. Ross Hoffman Fri., May 18, 9 p.m., $10, Making Time with Making Time DJs, Voyeur, 1221 Saint James St., igetrvng.com.

[ dance ]

✚ ANNE-MARIE MULGREW

introduction to the politely ballyhooed Kindness, nom de disco of said London/Berlinbased aspiring auteur du jour, is a thoroughly puzzling listen. He’s plainly shooting for a

Anne-Marie Mulgrew has carved out an interesting dance career in Philadelphia, establishing her own small troupe, Anne-Marie Mulgrew and Dancers (AMM&D). Their series From Here to Seattle this weekend, though, is a bi-coastal endeavor. There’s the “here” portion, with the premiere of

Mulgrew’s video-augmented choreography in Dig and a timely restaging of Project 2012, a 1997 work by Mulgrew inspired by the Mayan calendar. The Seattle portion of the program is for Philly expat Deborah Birrane, who last danced with AMM&D in Project 2012 and who now runs her own company on the West Coast. She’s back in town to perform two solos, Waking Dreams and the Poe-inspired The Raven. Mulgrew has a slow, introspective choreographic style; anyone who saw her troupe gently walking down Broad Street as part of PIFA knows that fluttering draperies and unexpected, statuesque poses are her forte. Gentle and introspective, Mulgrew does not clamor for attention — she leaves it up to her audience to savor the soft movements she creates for her troupe.

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A title like World, You Need a Change of Mind (Casablanca/ Terrible) suggests some kind of bold, galvanizing declaration of intent — or at least some entertainingly grandiose bravado — but Adam Bainbridge doesn’t even seem to have his own mind made up. Our formal

[ the agenda ]

the agenda

✚ KINDNESS

certain timeless, oil-slick stylishness, but the juxtaposition of post-chillwave mood pieces, narcotized R&B and half-baked hipster bait (a drably effete, electro-shuffling Replacements cover) with full-on retro-disco (and freestyle!) revamps fails to cohere or leave much sense of personality, vocal or otherwise. But who knows; maybe, somehow — with a seven-piece band in tow — it’ll all make more sense on the dancefloor at Making Time on Friday. Anyhow, he’s sure got Dave P. excited.

the naked city | feature | a&e

Harrison and the Stooges.

—Janet Anderson Fri., May 18-Sun., May 20, $20, Christ Church Neighborhood House, 20 N. American St., 215-462-7720, annemariemulgrewdancersco.org.

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SATURDAY

the agenda

✚ EAST COAST BLACK AGE OF COMICS CONVENTION

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Comic cons have a certain rep, but the comics universe runs a bit deeper than a bunch of white dudes dressed as Batmen and Darth Mauls. The East Coast Black Age of Comics Con-

5.19 [ events/comics ]

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vention recognizes this, which is why for their 11th annual endeavor they’ll debut a more nuanced and independent take on the cosplay game. In addition to the standard roundtable discussions and workshops,

AfriCoz aims to shift the spotlight and celebrate the diversity found within comic books. “We’re not bashing what’s been done before, but oftentimes black characters are relegated to a sidekick’s role,” explains founder Yumy Odom. “We’re trying to encourage some more positive imagery.”

[ the agenda ]

with a direct intimacy, one earnest storyteller passing on the lore of another. His quartet, which he’ll bring to Chris’ this weekend, is built on the

—Chris Brown Sat., May 19, 11 a.m., $10, The Enterprise Center, 4548 Market St., 267-536-9847, ecbacc.com.

[ jazz ]

✚ TOM TALLITSCH With certain schools of saxophonists either navigating mathematically tricky, complex angles or pushing toward the extremes, screaming and breathing fire, it can be easy to forget the natural affinity between the instrument and the human voice. Princetonbased tenorman Tom Tallitsch hasn’t forgotten; on his new CD, Heads or Tales, Tallitsch speaks through his horn with a burnished clarity. It’s no accident that he closes the album with Neil Young’s “Don’t Let It Bring You Down,” rendered

foundation of Mark Ferber’s uncluttered drumming, with guitarist Dave Allen and rising-star organist Jared Gold following Tallitsch’s laid-back, communicative lead. —Shaun Brady Sat., May 19, 8 and 10 p.m., $20, Chris’ Jazz Café, 1421 Sansom St., 215-5683131, chrisjazzcafe.com.

[ folk/country ]

✚ JUSTIN TOWNES EARLE Justin Townes Earle wears his

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stinting intimacy.

Justin’s got more than enough hard living under his belt to earn the grit in his voice and the wrenching ache in his blues, and four albums into his career he’s come a considerable way toward living up to those legendary namesakes. Nothing’s Gonna Change the Way You Feel About Me Now (Bloodshot) — it reads as cocky, but it comes across as terminally un-self-assured — is a mostly subdued, heart-worn affair, sometimes dolled up with Memphis-soul horns, sometimes fingerpicked and laid bare, but long on knowing tale-telling and un-

[ the agenda ]

—K. Ross Hoffman Sat., May 19, 8 p.m., $16-$21, all ages, with Tristen, TLA, 334 South St., 215922-1011, livenation.com.

[ art on wheels ]

✚ KINETIC SCULPTURE DERBY

the agenda

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pedigree, and bears his cross, in his very name. His dad is Steve Earle, and the kid only has to open his mouth for you to know he’s entirely his father’s son. The Townes, naturally, is for Van Zandt, Texas’ outsidersongwriter patron saint. At 30,

Perhaps you want to see a pack of Vikings riding tandem bikes. Or a merman on a unicycle. There’s really only one jawn that can conceivably deliver both: Now in its sixth year, the Kensington Kinetic Sculpture Derby shoves off once again. The Trenton Avenue Arts Fest serves as the launch point with its artisans and vendors lining the streets, but a whole other batch

will be getting in on the action. Individuals, duos and larger teams alike have been holed up

in garages for months to work on their freakishly fierce entries, and they’re ready to let their freak flags fly. Until they crash. —Chris Brown Sat., May 19, noon, free, Trenton Avenue at Norris Street, kinetickensington.org.

[ jazz ]

✚ LARRY CORYELL In the early 1970s, guitarist Larry Coryell was indisputably one of the pioneers of jazz-rock fusion, standing alongside the likes of John McLaughlin and Al Di Meola as axemen bringing a hardedged, electrified sound to jazz. He’s followed a restless path since then, switching largely to acoustic guitar by the middle of the decade and getting derailed by some of the usual excesses and a flirtation with smooth jazz in the early ’90s, which tainted his name in the minds of some diehards. More recently, however, he’s displayed his mature com-

20122013

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Y O U R P R E M I E R M A G A Z I N E F E AT U R I N G E V E R Y T H I N G P H I L LY !

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✚ SEA OF BEES

Being able to harness the rhythm and energy required to tell a captivating tale is a considerable challenge, but the 11 yarn-spinners (pictured is

G A B R I E L L A C L AV E L

intimate tale, and with this much at stake, expect a slew of unflinchingly personal takes on real-life events. Perhaps seeking to ramp up the heat, First Person Arts has set the theme du jour to “Burned” — which, by the end of the night, will also describe the 10 competitors who miss out on the crown.

On 2009’s Songs for the Ravens, Sea of Bees’ first full-length, Julie Baenziger created a universe of yearning with her high-pitched voice and layers of droning, keening and jangling guitars. Even the song titles seemed magical, topped by the

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✚ STORYSLAM GRAND SLAM

5.20

the agenda

[ storytelling ]

SUNDAY

[ rock/pop ]

—Shaun Brady Sat., May 19, 8 p.m., $22.50-$55, with the Jim Dragoni Trio, Stagecrafters Theater, 8130 Germantown Ave., emusictime.com.

[ the agenda ]

the naked city | feature | a&e

mand of the instrument with a string of assured, unshowily virtuosic recordings, even returning to his rock roots on the 2005 CD Electric. Also on that album was fellow fusion veteran Victor Bailey, Weather Report’s final bassist, who will accompany Coryell to Chestnut Hill.

Janet von Trapp) battling it out in tonight’s Grand Slam have deftly proven their mettle. Now, the 10 StorySlam champs and one high-scoring audience favorite are turning their competitive prowess to a loftier goal: the coveted title of “Best Storyteller in Philadelphia.” The participants have only five minutes to forge an

—Michael Gold Sat., May 19, 8:30 p.m., $20-$30, Annenberg Center, 3680 Walnut St., 215-898-3900, annenbergcenter.org.

spellbinding “Wizbot.” Three years later, Baenziger’s back with Orangefarben (Team

P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R | M A Y 1 7 - M A Y 2 3 , 2 0 1 2 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T | 37

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portioncontrol By Alexandra Weiss

TABLE GAMES: Popolino’s tavola calda, a traditional Roman antipasti spread situated in the middle of the BYOB’s dining room. MARK STEHLE

[ review ]

ROMAN RUINS A treacherous trattoria experience unfolds at Peter McAndrews’ Popolino. By Adam Erace POPOLINO | 501 Fairmount Ave., 215-928-0106. Lunch/brunch served

Wed.-Mon., 11 a.m.-2:30 p.m.; dinner served 5-10 p.m. Appetizers, $8-$11; pasta, $13-$16; entrées, $15-$23; desserts, $6; “turista” tasting menu, $40. BYOB.

P

eter McAndrews is nothing if not consistent. I know exactly what to expect from his restaurants, an empirelet currently composed of Modo Mio, Monsu, the Paesano’s twins, soonto-open La Porta near Media and Popolino, a bright, buzzy, two-month-old BYOB inspired by those for whom snout-to-tail is an ancient way More on: of life — the “common people” of Rome. I know there will be revelatory house-baked bread. I know the servers will be relaxed and welcoming, with knowledge of esoteric Italian ingredients, unusual pasta shapes and on-cue accents a la Giada De Laurentiis. I know there will be two or three of those servers working the small dining room, when four would be probably be better. I know the food will be on the rich side, but not unbalanced. I know cash will be the only method of payment. Popolino crumpled my expectations like wrapping paper. None of what I count on from McAndrews, none of what makes him one of the easiest local chefs to root for, is living here, in the sunny corner space formerly home to Lafayette Bistro. Well, I still had to pay cash,

citypaper.net

but I can’t say I did so willingly. Would you, for spaghetti gone swimmin’ in the sorriest excuse for carbonara this side of Buca di Beppo? Grated cheese, cracked black pepper and crispy bits of pancetta form the base of the typical Roman recipe, ingredients that coalesce into something rich, silky and satisfying with additions of raw egg yolk and a splash of pasta water. At Popolino, it was as if McAndrews’ kitchen had added a whole pot of starchy H2O to my carbonara, lending the sauce the pallor and viscosity of skim milk. While proper carbonara clings, this impostor slunk down strands of spaghetti like a Delaware Avenue dancer down a greasy pole. The spaghetti came as the second course and the first disappointment in Popolino’s turista menu, a $40 four-courser as popular here as it is at Modo and Monsu. Before the pasta, things were following a typical McAndrews trajectory, with dense MORE FOOD AND country-style bread, freely poured wine DRINK COVERAGE and fun, manic antipasti, like fried calaAT C I T Y P A P E R . N E T / mari tossed with mint, chilies, hard-cooked M E A LT I C K E T. egg and garum, the ancient Italian take on fish sauce, and succulent grilled lamb rib kebabs astride a comet of cervella (lamb brain) aioli. Offal, organs and entrails, what Romans call the “quinto quarto” (fifth quarter), flavor Popolino’s peasant-food menu, but these dubious treasures are applied in disguise, a la the brain mayo — not McAndrews’ original intention for the BYOB. “I was trying to be hardcore with the offal,” he says. “Nobody was ordering it.” Ergo, Popolino’s organ game has been reeled in. The rigatoni alla pajata (pig-intestine ragu), which I was curious to try, had been ban>>> continued on page 42

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✚ The Cooking Show, Thu., May 17, 7:30 p.m.; Sat., May 19, noon and 7:30 p.m., $20, Asian Arts Initiative, 1219 Vine St., 215-557-0455, asianartsinitiative.org.

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³ “WE’RE GONNA EAT this together as a community. Mmmmm. That’s the sound of revolution, everybody!” says Mero Cocinero (“best cook”) to his audience. The chef — his apron emblazoned with a Gonzo-like hand clutching a spoon — drops to one knee, encouraging the onlookers to change the world via the power of food. It’s a typical scene from the raucous traveling show of Cocinero, the alter ego of Robert Karimi, an interdisciplinary playwright, performer and chef based in San Francisco.Though he also creates work with no culinary connections, Karimi’s baby is The Cooking Show, an interactive stage performance combining elements of PBS-style food programming, comedy, music, storytelling and video. Karimi’s newest installment, “Viva La Banchan,” comes to Philadelphia this week at the Asian Arts Initiative. Each episode touches on a social, political or health issue; “Viva La Banchan” follows suit with its focus on Type 2 diabetes. After his father was diagnosed with adult-onset diabetes, Karimi set out to learn more about the disease. He discovered it’s one of the leading causes of death in America, and it’s particularly rampant in ethnic communities. Karimi, who is of Guatemalan and Iranian descent, decided to incorporate diabetes education into his show. “After my father was diagnosed, he looked back to traditional [Iranian] family recipes and changed the way he ate,” says Karimi. “Let’s look back and find a solution. Let’s not push aside culture when talking about healing and eating.” More than a ticketed performance, “Viva La Banchan” is designed to be an interactive pop-up restaurant that provides a full meal to audience members, who often go on stage to help Karimi’s Cocinero character cook.The goal of the BYOB experience is to make people think about balanced portion sizes and how they plate their meals. Karimi’s menu is a heavily guarded secret, but features traditional dishes from Iran, Guatemala, Mexico and the Philippines. (Karimi does divulge, however, that he’s cooking a tribute recipe for the Beastie Boys’ late Adam “MCA” Yauch.) The show is geared toward informing diabetics, but people with all types of diets are encouraged to attend. And though the message is a serious one, that doesn’t mean its delivery can’t be fun.“Diabetes is unbalanced energy,” says Karimi. “I want to balance that energy through laughing, feeling good and eating good, healthy food.” (alexandra@citypaper.net)

food

SWEET SCIENCE

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f&d

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[ food & drink ]

✚ Roman Ruins <<< continued from page 41

None of what I count on from McAndrews is living here. ished by the time I visited. Instead, my primi consisted of the aforementioned carbonara and a crock of cauliflower cannelloni in similarly thin, milky tomato-cream sauce. Though the flavors managed to nudge their way to the front of this pasta, shoddy execution again perplexed. The stuffed tubes bore none of the goo, bubble or burnish of baked pasta, with no textural contrasts. I imagined the kitchen, clotheslined with tickets and making shortcuts: “You got only five minutes, cannelloni! Your sister’s gotta get in there next!” The pair of servers, one of which was the manager, was as weeded as I’d pictured the kitchen. As the three-quarters-full dining room crested over its first turn hard into the second, staff got scarcer, delays between courses more noticeable. When food did come, it was dropped off with the reticence of bitter exes sharing custody. The tavola calda, an antipasto platter assembled from a dozen gorgeous vegetable dishes displayed on an antique butcher-block table in the center of the dining room, arrived with no explanation at all, and it’s the dish that requires the most. We managed to figure out the assortment of salads, pickles and agrodolci on our own: roasted carrots made sublime with subtle cinnamon; cauliflower cooked the same way, then tossed with raisins and almonds; honeyed roasted peppers; al dente borlotti beans anointed with aged balsamic; beets with orange and mint and more. Still, a runthrough would have been helpful, considering the shy tuna hiding in the dynamic chickpea salad rouged with smoked paprika. Without introduction, the innocuous-looking tavola is a dangerous territory for vegans and vegetarians. There should have been a hostess that night (there wasn’t) according to McAndrews, and a sick server apparently had the dining room down a body, which may have forced the manager onto the floor. But I’ve seen managers pull dedicated server shifts at McAndrews joints before, a practice that, besides feeling greasy, can lead to a disorganized front of the house. This night, Popolino needed the soothing, ship-righting presence of a proper GM, able to pitch in at tight spots, sweet-talk impatient customers and assuage the room’s sweaty chaos. Seven and 7:30 reservations were pouring through the front door when entrées arrived: an overcooked beef involtino simmered in marinara till disintegrating for the lady. Yours truly got measly wisps of off-the-bone oxtail in a soupy cocoa gravy that could have been chocolate milk were it not for the celery and pine nuts. By the time we got to the stiff panna cotta with competing accents of apricots, hazelnuts and sapa (some 45 minutes later), I’d had enough. The wine was drained, like my patience. There is hope. Chris Davis, formerly of Barbuzzo, has just come on board to fix a kitchen whose leadership and ability McAndrews claims he never felt 100 percent about. Coming from Barbuzzo, I’m sure he’ll bring style and edge to the cooking at Popolino. Or at least know how to make carbonara. (adam.erace@citypaper.net)

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Whatcha Eatin’?

[ food & drink ]

Lunch•Dinner 233 South Street Philadelphia 215.627.2800

Vernick Food & Drink | Greg Vernick, his wife Julie and

GM Ryan Mulholland have opened Vernick Food & Drink, the well-traveled chef’s long-planned solo joint after years cooking all over the world for Jean-Georges Vongerichten. Vernick describes his food as “radically simple” — he won’t gravitate toward a particular discipline so much as reinterpret his international experiences for a local audience. That translates to vegetable- and raw-driven selections, plates both small and large and a section of shareable mains (whole market fish, Amish chicken, bone-in strip loin) roasted in a Wood Stone oven. The taut beer, wine and cocktail selections are curated by Mulholland. Right now they’re open Tuesday to Sunday from 4:30 to 11 p.m. 2031 Walnut St., 267-639-6644, vernickphilly.com.

44 | P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R |

M A Y 1 7 - M A Y 2 3 , 2 0 1 2 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T

Spencer ETA Burger | The third location of Sabrina’s,

on Drexel’s campus, opened last fall. Now Spencer ETA Burger (“Eat A Burger”), also from Robert and Raquel DeAbreu, has taken over part of that space on weekend eves. Choices at the patty-centric stop include “Dr. I’s Burger,” topped with Sabrina’s huevos rancheros sauce, guac, lime sour cream, tomato, pepper jack and a fried jalapeño; and the “Ultimate Spencer Burger,” a beast boasting everything from poached apples to turkey bacon. ETA Burger’s hours are designed for munchiestricken party crowds — Thursday from 8 p.m. to midnight, Friday/Saturday from 8 p.m. to 1 a.m. and Sunday from 4 to 10 p.m. Ross Commons, 227 N. 34th St., 215222-1022, spenceretaburger.com. Argana Moroccan Cuisine | Grand-opening tomor-

Whatcha Eatin’? Publication Date: Every THIRD Thursday of the Month. Space Reservation Deadline: Friday Before Publication Date Contact your Account Manager Today or call 215.825.2496!

row, May 18, in nearby Lansdowne, Argana Moroccan Cuisine inhabits the old diner space at the corner of Lansdowne and Baltimore avenues. The friendly BYO, open for lunch and dinner, is cooking a straight-ahead selection of Moroccan classics, like lamb, chicken and kefta tagines, couscous and seafood pastilla. Tomorrow evening’s festivities will include free appetizers and tea, plus coupons for return visits; on Sat., May 19, belly dancer Shiraz will perform. Hours: Sun.-Thu., 11 a.m.10 p.m.; Fri.-Sat., 11 a.m.-11 p.m. 2 N. Lansdowne Ave., Lansdowne, 484-461-9595, arganarestaurant.com. Got A Tip? Please send restaurant news to drew.lazor@citypaper.net

or call 215-735-8444, ext. 218.

HEY GOOFBALL!

I CAN BREATH When you aren’t around I can breath...take my fucking time and do shit without you standing the fuck over me asking me questions about shit that doesn’t have anything to do with me! I get tired of hearing your fucking voice and everything else that you bring to the table! Can you maybe grow the fuck up already and just limit yourself to any talking or anything else! How about taking time out to yourself that is always good...

League University and still manage to surprise me on daily basis with your lack of common sense. And the more Penn garb you dress in the stupider you seem to be. I work in a restaurant in Rittenhouse and encounter you everyday. Of course since I work in a restaurant you talk to me like I’m an idiot, despite the fact that I have a degree (which based on my observation of you really means nothing). To be fair, if you live in Rittenhouse your parents probably paid for you to get into that school, so it’s not like merit is involved, but still, don’t act like you’re smarter than me just because your dad has a black amex. Also, why are you the worst tippers?

I bet (I love you to the one). It’s time to bring the issues OUT on the table but with no judgement and bias from both side. when? Maybe do not force situation. I hope someone can understanding with kindness with a good heart. Life is meant to be lived we are young! We are stupid FLEAS kids!!

TRAIN DUDE I have compassion for the homeless because I think to myself what is that was me! But, I see you and you walk through the train and you have a sign up asking for money...but I don’t see that you are really in need and I know that you get a

YOU A JERK

LADY ON PLATFORM

I know that you think that someone betrayed you but I could care fucking less of what you or anyone else thinks about me! I hate how you come to my place of work and grin from ear to ear and then turn around and spread a fuck rumor! I could just kick your fucking face in...you make me sick so bad so continue to give me a tip and then pretend that you are on my side..doesn’t matter to me because honestly...I sleep good at night!

Ok lady...I saw you pick up that cigar stuffing off the bench...did you think that it had some weed for you to smoke early in the morning! Or did you think that the weed angels left that shit for you to smoke it when your menopausal ass got off the esculator. I saw you and I said to myself...if she smokes that shit that she found on the fucking sidewalk I am going to be beside myself. It still doesn’t make any sense to me of why you even picked the shit up in the dam first place! If I were you I would keep my hands to myself...you just don’t know what you are touching these days!

YOU COULDN’T CUT IT

RICH PENN “KIDS”

SUNSHINE Life is a roller coaster with ups and downs I see it everyday. Love,Lust,Lie happen all the time I truly don’t know why? Why spend valuable time arguing? Perhaps, somebody or something that prevents and make it difficult time for somebody to do something. It’s have been a special crazy love take it slow. The sensual touch! In the back of our mind, you feel frisky and flirtatious all the time

check...I know you do...your hair was kept...the only think was that you clothes were dirty...that can easily be done by hand or whatever...this is my message to you...if you are really in need I hope to God that you get some help soon. Almost everyone is struggling but everyone tries to manage... how about you do the same thing and try picking yourself up dusting yourself off and trying alittle harder! Sign your friends on the train!

YOU THINK YOU SLICK! Bitch you aren’t slick...not slicker than me! Now you trying to get something for nothing. I do alot for you and the rest of your so called business partners...I don’t want to be doing the shit...well basically I am not going to be doing shit and not getting paid for it! You know what I need to make more money but who doesn’t but your not going to fucking use me! Go fuck yourself buddie!

TRYING TO GET OVER! You stupid ass...what the fuck do you think I was going to do something for fucking nothing...no bitch it doesn’t work like that...who the fuck do you think that you are? I am not an employee of yours nor do I answer to you...you want me to do some

✚ To place your FREE ad (100-word limit), go to citypaper.net and click on the LOVE/HATE tab near the top of the page. ADS ALSO APPEAR AT CITYPAPER.NET/lovehate. City Paper has the right to re-publish “I Love You, I Hate You”™ ads at the publisher’s discretion. This includes re-purposing the ads for online publication, or for any other ancillary publishing projects.

45

How is it that you are accepted and attend an Ivy

Your parents pay for everything and still you bust out your tip calculator to tip 10%. I’m sure you’ve never worked in the service industry so you don’t know that we remember you and spit accordingly. Have a great graduation and enjoy that job your parents will get you that you don’t deserve.

P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R | M A Y 1 7 - M A Y 2 3 , 2 0 1 2 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T |

Hey stupid ass...you make me sick you are a dummy..why the fuck do you keep reaching out to me for no reason...I don’t want to be bothered with you...can’t you see that...you couldn’t cut it...you and I just were matching up to have a family! That is just how it is...sorry but it is...when you call me you say that you are calling out of concern or you just want to see how I am doing..I think that is all bullshit...I think and as a matter of fact I know that the only reason you are doing this is because you feel bad for the way that you treated me! As you should.....thanks to you I will never trust fully anyone again!

MY NIGHTMARES

You think your shit doesn’t stink...nobody cares about your fucking credientials...everyone has credientials! I think it is all what you do with those... I hate the fact that you are just sitting there like real things don’t matter! Can’t you tell that I hate your ass...how else is there to say it! You are a piece of high-paid shit! You know it and I know it...stay out of my fucking way!

Hey neighbor...I don’t know if you read this paper so I will not put you on blast too much on here! Who the fuck do you think that you are? You call yourself helping me but didn’t complete the whole fucking task! I think that is fucked up all around the board! Why do you do the things that you do? I don’t understand it...trust me from here on I will not be asking your stupid ass for any help anymore because you half ass! You are just a weirdo...

You called me the other day talking all silly and weird...what the fuck are you doing...I know that I am pregnant but what the fuck...do you think that I am doing...drinking hard liquior and smoking week or something....some men make me laugh in the worst way because you think that you can control women to a certain degree...you can’t control me...you need to take your medicine and tend to your own 3 fucking kids..I hate people that worry about what someone else is doing...worry about yourself.

You make me feel so fucking comfortable when you call me out of the blue and tell me that you love me! I love you too so much! I feel you thinking about me and I really appreciate all the love that you give me from far away! I want to be your wife...I really do! If you were to ask me to marry you right now I promise I would say yes! I can’t wait to see you...to touch you...I love you Moody! Sign Baby!

NOT IMPRESSED

WEIRDO NEIGHBOR

WERE YOU DRINKING?

I JUST LOVE YOU!

My nightmares consist of you...I love you so much...but I am really tired of cleaning up after you! You know this right...You throw your things all over the place and just leave them there and nobody know what it is I am referring to your new girlfriend that you have living in the house..she tells me all the fucked up things that you do and I try to get her to leave you which would be good because I am tired of cleaning your shit outside! Guess what throw something else out the fucking window and I will be forced to call the police or LNI whichever is better.

thing for you...then you fucking pay for it! if not oh fucking well! For someone to have things going on so fucking good, your a dickhead and you aren’t a leader...you can lead your own self into the fucking river!

classifieds

You stupid ass...someone was throwing you the pussy and you didn’t even think to catch the shit! Now you all on some old other stuff saying that you want to be with someone and such and such... you dumb bitch nobody wants you and nobody needs you around! I am not understanding who you think that you are, and now I you that you are truly pathetic.... stay away already!

the naked city | feature | a&e | the agenda | food

[ i love you, i hate you ]

food | the agenda | a&e | feature | the naked city classifieds

merchandise market I Beams (4) exc cond, 39ftx21"x 8.25" flange, 1.5" thick $3800. 856-364-3233

Antiquarian, Used Book Collection & bookcases, $7600 609-513-2193 BRAZILIAN FLOORING 3/4", beautiful, $2.75 sf (215) 365-5826 CABINETS SOLID MAPLE Brand new soft close/dovetail. Fits 10’x10’ kitchen. More cabinets if needed. Cost $6,400. Sell $1,595. 610-952-0033 Diabetic Test Strips needed pay up to $15/box. Most brands. Call 610-453-2525 Pinball machines, shuffle bowling alleys Will barter for landscape clean up tntquality@aol.com 215.783.0823

BD a Memory Foam Mattress/BoxsprIng Brand New Queen cost $1400, sell $299; King cost $1700 sell $399. 610-952-0033

BED: Brand New Queen Pillowtop Mattress Set w/warr, In plastic. $160; Twin $140; 3 pc King $265; Full set $155. Memory foams avl. Del. avl 215-355-3878

120 Stak Chairs, tan metal frame, dark green seat & back, (610)325-7617 lv msg

Bedroom Set 5 pc. brand new $399 All sizes, Del. Avail. 215-355-3878

BUYING EAGLES SBL’s & TICKETS

CALL 215-669-1924

Bedroom set 6 pc. Cherry Brand new, in box $499. 215-752-0911 NEW MATTRESS Sets $125, Twin, Full Queen (in plastic) delivery (215)307-1950

EAST NORTON, PA 603 Briar Lane, Saturday 5/12, 8am-3pm. Many household items, machinist tools, etc.

33 & 45 Records Absolute Higher $

33&45 RECORDS HIGHER $ REALLY PAID

** Bob 610-532-9408 ***

Books -Trains -Magazines -Toys Dolls - Model Kits 610-689-8476

2012 Hot Tub/Spa. Brand New! 6 person w/lounger, Cover. Factory warranty. Never installed! Beautiful. Cost $6,000. Ask $2,500. Will deliver. 610-952-0033

Coins, Currency, Gold, Toys,

POOL 12’ Round Above Ground/ Accessories for sale $250. Buyer must remove. Please call 267-784-6935 for info/appt.

Dr. Sonnheim, 856-981-3397

M A Y 1 7 - M A Y 2 3 , 2 0 1 2 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T

52 | P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R |

pets/livestock Please be aware Possession of exotic/wild animals may be restricted in some areas.

Ragdoll Kittens: Beautiful, guaranteed, home raised. Call 610-731-0907

Akita: AKC puppies, Born 3/7/12 health guar. Show quality. (856)368-9123 Akita AKC Pups $225 OBO shots/ wormed 5 females 410-348-9917 or 410-348-2505 BOXER PUPPIES - AKC, parents on premises. Ready now. $800/ea. 267-912-8540 Cane Corso Pups ACA, health guaranteed, multi-color, $800 (610)383-0382 CANE CORSO pups: reg. ICCF, M & F, blue/fawn, $650-$1000. 267-241-9668 Cavalier King Charles M/F, 5 year guar $900. 610-485-4020 or 610-800-1970 COLLIES PUPS 4 whites! Sable F, 4 yrs, normal eyes, Ch. stock. (856)825-4856 Dachshund Miniature Dachshund Puppies 3 male, 1 female - ready 5/21 ACA $600. 856-795-5369 DOBERMAN Pups, ears cropped, black, rare blues, superior sizes available. $1850-$2400. 856-491-7929

A PRAYER TO THE BLESSED MOTHER Say 9 Hail Mary’s for 9 Days. Ask for 3 wishes. One for Business. The Second and Third for the Impossible. Publish this article on the 9th day. Your wishes will come true even if you don’t believe. Thank You God. D.K. SEARCH FOR DANIEL TRAUB, probate of Salvatore Marchisello, respond at: PO Box 5453, Deptford, NJ 08096

apartment marketplace

Trains, Hummels, Sports Cards. Call the Local Higher Buyer, 7 Dys/Wk

HOPKINSON HOUSE Studio with balcony, 625 sq ft, Overlooks Washington Square Park, $1255/mo. available July 1st. (215)627-2339

everything pets English Bulldog Puppies AKC. $1700 In home, family raised with kids and other dogs. Sire and dam on premises. Shots wormed vet checked. Ready now! 717-624-8738 German Shepherd Puppies parents on premises with papers 267 977 3491 German Shepherd pups, ACA, 7 M & 2 F, shots, wormed, family raised, cute, $700 F, $800 M, 1 blk, M $900. (717)529-5560 German Shep Pups: Large Boned. Parents on prem. Good w/kids. www.jolindys.com. 410-957-1279. German Shorthaired Pointer Pups $400, 2 F, liver-ready to go now 610.430.7577 Golden Doodle Pups, home raised by exp. breeder, 610.322.0576, 610.544.2719 Golden Doodles, 4 males, 3 fem’s, make great pets. Call to reserve. (717)989-4002 Great Dane Puppies: AKC Fawn and Brindle colored $1200.00. Parents on premises. 302-764-3184 /302-379-3423 Great Dane pups AKC, fawn, blk masks, parents on site $700. 302-266-0934 GREAT PYRENEES Gorgeous babies, livestock guardians/family pets, pure bred, vet chkd. Ready $800 484.753.3830 LAB PUPS READY NOW MUST COME SEE!!! 100% GUAR. 215-768-4344 LABRADOR PUPS- Ready 4/10/12, AKC, yellow and black, M-F’s, $500, Call 609-685-1723 MALTESE PUPS - Ready to Go! Call 856-875-6707

personals

EAGLES 2 Season Tickets Section 121, Row 4, Best offer over $5,500. moriarty1@ymail.com. 941-751-0478

* * * 215-200-0902 * * * YOUNG CHANG Baby Grand Piano. Polished ebony, like new. Todays cost $11,000. Best offer. 610-543-1666

DIABETIC TEST STRIPS NEEDED- cash paid, local pickup. Call Faith 856.882.9015 JUNK CARS WANTED Up to $300 for Junk Cars 215-888-8662 Lionel/Am Flyer/Trains/Hot Whls $$$$ Aurora TJet/AFX Toy Cars 215-396-1903 SAXOPHONES, WWII, SWORDS, related items, Lenny3619@aol 609.581.8290

Pit Bull Pups, Male & Female. with papers, $200. 267-707-8597 PITBULL PUPS UKC: 3 Males, $600 13 weeks old, Call 215-301-8874 POODLE AKC Champion Bloodline Black, Apricot, Red Standards 610-6212894 www.HohlFamilyPoodles.com

POODLE mini puppies, AKC, champion pedigree, paper trained, ready to brighten your life, Please Call after 4pm weekdays, anytime weekends, (215)741-6022

SHELTIES AKC, tri-male and female, pick blue male, 8 wks, great parents, pedigree, health gaurantee. (610)838-7221 WESTIES: Registered, home raised, M’s & F’s shots, wormed, 484-868-8452 Wheaton Terrier Pups, AKC, family raised, health gaur, $800. (717)687-7603 Wire Hair Fox Terrier Pups, AKC, smart, non shed, shots, vet chkd. 434-349-3328 Yorkie Mix Pups, also Hairless shots, wormed vet, $350-$475. 856-563-0351

40th & Cambridge 2br $645/mo. free utils, Call or text Scott 215-222-2435 41st & Girard mod. 1 & 2 BR $525-$595+ 2 & 3BR homes $595-$625. 215-431-6677 5146 Funston St. 1br $550/mo. all util incl. $1250 move in. Room for rent $100/week. $350 move in. Both avail now. Call 267-539-6933

51st & Parkside Ave. 1BR 650/mo. at Park, $1300 move in. 215-219-1715 P a r k s i d e A r e a 5 & 6BR starting @ $800. Newly renov, new kit & bath, hdwd flrs, Section 8 OK. Call 267-324-3197

63rd & Girard lrg 2BR $700+utils 2nd flr, 3 months to move 610-348-1196 Various 1 & 2 BR Apts $750-$895 www.perutoproperties.com 215.740.4900

Balwynne Park 2BR $850+utils W/D, C/A, W/W. Call 484-351-8633 Balwynne Park 2BR W/D, C/A, W/W. Call 484-351-8633

Broad & Rittener modern 1Br $750/mo Central air, deck, W/D, 215-913-9866

WYNNEFIELD 1BR/1BA $750. Large Dining/Office, 1.5 Blks from City Ave. on Phila side, near St. Joe. 2nd flr, modern with w/w crpt. A/C, Offst. park’g & laundry facil. Avl imm. 610-517-4822

10xx S. 52nd St. Lrg 3BR Laundry room, section 8 ok. 215-727-0431 1100 S 58th St. Studio, 1br & 2br Apts newly renov, lic #362013 215-744-9077

1641 W Lehigh Ave. 1BR All Util Incld Newly renov. 215-744-9077, Lic #374062 23xx N 17th St Efficiency $450+elec large, 1 mo rent, 1 mo sec. 215-681-6967

2018 S 70th St. 1br $600+utils clean, spacious, LR, eat in kitchen, gas heat, 1st, last & security (267)251-6931 56xx Cedar 2br $700 utils incl 2nd floor. Call 267-292-5274

Rottweiler Puppies, AKC, Champion blood lines, vet checked, very nice pups, 8 weeks old on May 11th, $1,000. Please Call 610-273-7434.

Sheltie pups, fam. raised, purebred, Great pets! $200. 610-593-1391 ext: 3

apartment marketplace

600 S. 49th St. 2BR/1.5BA $1,500 Incl w/d, c/a, h/w, s/s app. Min from center city, close to public trans. 267-255-6414

60xx Larchwood 1 BR $625 ht & hot wtr inc, exc con 215.747.9429

13xx N 61st St 1br $525+utils 1st, last & sec., w/w carpet 267.278.1492 1xx 56th & Spruce 3BR Must see! Sec. 8 ok. 215-885-1700

1,2, 3, 4 Bedroom FURNISHED APTS LAUNDRY-PARKING 215-223-7000 Student Housing Broad St. on Campus lowest prices, including heat, Apts & Rooms from $495-$595/pp 215-431-6677 Temple Univ. Hosp Area Effic. all uitl. inc $500/mo $1000 move in 215-765-5578

11th & Wyoming 1BR $575+utils newly renovated, front porch, back yard, nice basement, (215)276-1097 51xx N 13th St 1 BR $550+ utils LR, wall to wall carpet, 215-908-4613

1xx W. Olney Ave. 1br $595+util beautiful, carpeted, Call 215-805-6455

5846 N. Marvine 1br $600+utils renovated, close to trans (215)480-6460 5th & Godfrey 1BR Must see. Sec 8 ok. Call (267) 254-8446 60XX Warnock 1 BR $595+ near Fernrock Train Station,215-276-8534

1 BR & 2 BR Apts $715-$835 spacious, great loc., upgraded, heat incl, PHA vouchers accepted 215-966-9371 5201 Wayne Ave. Studio Apts On site Lndry 215.744.9077 Lic# 311890 5209 McKean 1BR $550/mo. newly renovated. Call (215) 768-8410 5321 Wayne Ave. Efficiency $550 2br $725. 1st mo. & sec., 215-776-6277 58xx Morris 1Br $650+utils close to transp, Must See! (215)264-3538 607 E. Church Lane 1BR nr LaSalle Univ,215.744.9077 lic# 494336 Near Chew & Chelten 1BR $500+elec. 1mo rent + sec. 215.817.4898/941-0167

DOMINO LN 1 & 2 BR $725-$875 Renovated, parking, d/w, near shopping & dining, FIRST MONTH FREE 215-500-7808

1xx W. Sharpnack 1BR $700+utils 2nd flr, great location, newly renov., heat incl., no pets. Call 215-549-9181 65xx Germantown 2BR/1BA $750+utils 2nd flr, no pets, immed occ, 215.844.2426

19xx Middleton St. 1br $600+utils newly renovated, new appliances, hardwood floors, near transportation & shops, Call 215-796-4108 or 215-722-4660 61xx Old York Road 2BR $675 cozy, 2nd flr, pvt parking. 215-324-2998 66 S t- Studio $545 + elec & 1BR $785 + elec.Ht/wtr/gas inc Sec8ok 215-768-8243 Broad Oaks 1BR & 2BR Lndry rm. Special Discount! 215-681-1723

4645 Penn St. 1BR $625. newly renov gas/wtr inc 215-781-8072 50xx Penn St. 3BR-4BR $950-$1250 Renovated, 2 bath. 267-230-2600

35xx RYAN AVE 1br $700+ 2nd floor, section 8 ok. 267-736-9862 48xx Longshore Ave Efficiency $490 2nd floor, fully furnished, new rugs and paint, no pets, (215)333-9674 60xx Torresdale St. 1br $650+utils storage, section 8 ok. Call 267-992-3233 6812 Ditman St. 1 BR prkg,lndry fac.Lic# 212751. 215-744-9077

Academy & Grant 2BR $795+ 1st flr,w/w, c/a,off st prkg 856.346.0747 Cottman Ave Vic 2br $735+utils 2nd floor, w/w carpet. 267-251-5675 Fox Chase 1br $640 free heat & hot waterm near train, 215-901-6934

DARBY 2BR $600/mo. spacious 2nd flr, nwly renov 267-271-1718 Drexel Hill lrg 1BR $800+electric 2nd flr hse,cable & internet 856-952-1711 Yeadon 1br $690+utils includes eat-in kitchen hardwood floors, garage parking, available now, Section 8 ok, Call 610-212-7156.

Pottstown 2BR/ 1BA $750 new cpt,W/D in unit,Caitlan 917.406.2868

Collingswood 1BR $900+utils spacious 1st flr apt, incl; LR, kitch, office, w/w, w/d, dinette leads to deck, near speedline, Phila, major parks, churches, etc. avail May 15th (856)854-1892

11xx N. 55TH ST. BRAND NEW BUILDING Single rooms $400. Double rooms $600. Rooms w/ bath & kitchen $600. Rooms come fully furnished w/ full size beds, fridge, and dresser. SSI/SSD/VA & Public assistance ok. Also SW, W., N., S. Phila, Frankford & Lansdowne PA 267-707-6129

1547 S. 30th St. furn, fridge, $125 week; $375 move in. no kitchen. 215-781-8049 16xx Orthodox St., share bath, $130/wk, deposit required. Call 215-743-9950 19xx Erie Ave, luxury rm, xtra clean, ideal for seniors, $100wk SSI ok. 215-920-6394 21st & Erie, large room, new renov., wall/wall, furn. $100/wk. 215-570-0301 22nd & Tioga Priv. ent, fresh paint, use of kit, w/w, grt loc! $110/wk $270/move in 267-997-5212

30th & Lehigh: huge rm, $120/wk, $360 move in. proof of income, 215-531-4852 4952 Lancaster Luxury Room for rent $375/mo. Hank (267) 974-9271. 50th & Westminester - Private bath, SSI welcome. Call 215-290-8702

56xx Wyalusing Ave. 5br/2.5ba $1300 section 8 ok, Call (215)939-3890

26xx Parrish 3BR/2.5BA $1,900+utils T/H, garage, read yard, C/A, W/D, near transp. Call 267-939-4959

11xx S. 23rd St. 3BR/1BA $850/mo. Call Greg 215-668-3990

14xx S. Marston St. 3br/1ba $750 sec 8 ok, nw carpets, bsmt 267.970.8632

15xx S. Taney 2br/ 1ba $750+util newly renovated, Sec 8 ok, ceiling fans, ceramic tile: LR, DR, kitch 610.246.7599 18xx Sigel 3br Row Please Call 215-701-7076

$495+

2617 Titan St. 2BR/1BA $650+ utils. Newly renovated, Call Erik 215.510.0034

27xx Tasker 3br/1.5ba Nice Townhouse $725+utils. $1725 move in. no dogs, also 15xx Dover St. 3br/1ba (215)820-2998

53xx N. Broad St Room, fridge, Full size bed, 27" TV, AC, 267-496-6448

56xx Morton St: Quiet victorian Row house, newly renovated, near Lasalle & trans., students welcome, $125/wk, $300 sec., 1st week rent req. 267-351-5547 60th & Girard clean rooms for rent. Call today & move in today. 267-684-8272 61st/Race St; Broad & Allegheny, Priv. ent, fresh paint, use of kit, w/w, grt loc! $110/wk $270/move in 267-997-5212

ALLEGHENY $90/wk. $270 sec dep Nr L train, furn, quiet. 609-703-4266 Broad & Olney deluxe furn room priv ent $130/wk. Sec $200. 215-572-8833 Broad & Wyoming, Broad & Hunting Pk, 60th & Market, fully furn., $200 sec., $85-$125/wk SSI/VA ok. 267-784-9284

Frankford area rooms $90-$100/wk Conv to transp. sec dep req 215-432-5637

1423 N. 55th St. 4BR/1BA $950+ utils Newly renovated, Call Erik 215.510.0034 19xx S Redfield 3br $690 22xx S. 70th St. 3br $790 65xx Gesner 4br $900 Call 267-230-2600 2XX S 53rd St 4br twin $900+ utils freshly renovated, 1/2 finished basement, backyard, front porch. 267-582-8841

5538 Wyalusing St. 3BR/1BA $800+ util Newly renovated, Call Erik 215-510-0034 58xx Hadfield St. 4br/1ba $900 w/w crpt, section 8 ok, 215-910-9549

6737 Dorel St. 3BR/1BA $900+ utils. Newly renovated, Call Erik 215.510.0034 70th & Elmwood 2BR $625+utils avail now, 3 mos. needed 215-821-8858 SW (Elmwood Area) modern 3br house new crpts, sect. 8 welcome 215.726.8817

29xx N Lambert St. 3br/1ba $675+utils section 8 ok, no pets, call 215-559-9289 33XX Harold Street 3BR 1BA $750 first/ last and sec. 215-969-1173

11xx Sanger 3BR/1BA $900+utils fin bsmnt, car parking, w/d, 215-601-5182 12xx Alcott St. 3br/1ba $950+utils remod, bsmt, gar, no pets 267-784-2809 41xx Rhawn St. 4BR/1.5BA $1000 +util rear yard, laundry 215-888-8662 Castor Gardens 3BR/1BA $875+ garage, fenced yard, no pets 215.750.3612 HOLMESBURG FKD & WELSH 2BR 1ST FLR, W/D, $750+ UTILS. 267-312-7100

38xx Delhi 3BR renov, hdwd flrs, Sec 8 OK 267-230-2600 45xx N Mole St 3BR/1BA $775+ utils very nice, very clean, wont last, section 8 ok, Call now (215)651-7435

43 Walnut Ln. 6BR,2BA $1,600/mo. front porch, backyard, quiet neighborhood. Please Call 215-439-3819 4x W. Rockland St. 5Br $1375+utils Section 8 approved. Call 917-863-8624 55xx Ardleigh 3BR/1BA $825+ Modern Kitch. New Carpets. 215-514-7143 Drexel Med. Vicinity 6br/2.5ba $1500 huge fully renov. house, everything brand new, bsmnt, w/d, yard. 732-993-3634 Germantown 3Br/2Ba $820 newly renovated. Call 215-495-7191

32xx Memphis St. 3BR/1BA $950/mo. Beaut. renovated. 215-694-0360.

Darby: XX N. 3rd St. 3br/1ba $930+utils security deposit required, gas heat, fresh paint, new carpets & floors 215-603-0688

Civic EXL 2008 $9,700 auto, lthr int, M/R, exc cond302.547.2467

Chevy Corsica 1995 $1,395 auto, no rust/dents, runs nu215.620.9383

WRANGLER 2012 $28,500 Sp. Ed. Call of Duty MW3. 678-666-0193

King of Prussia 2br/2.5ba TH $1350+ut 278 Stone Ridge Dr. full bsmnt., deck, all amenities. Call 267-374-8574

resorts/sale

ES 350 2008 $23,000 Selling my Florida car, 47k mostly highway miles, clean, loaded, (856)853-0705

NJ shore, 40ft Breckenridge park model, screen rm, slps 6 $18K/obo 484.574.9445

resorts/rent OCEAN CITY 3BR Apts Sleeps 6 Near beach, season, monthly or bi-wkly, air, TV, fans, full kitchen. (215) 317-6379

Brigantine 2Br Pets ok 5/25-29 $575 July $1350 BrigB.com 856-217-0025

Margate beau mod Condo pool patio a/c cbl great loc! Seas $6,800. 267.257.6389

Sea Isle City 1 BR plus futon, Near Beach, Parking, Central Air, Seasonal $6,500. Call 609-314-2349

Sea Isle City 3BR 6/23-6/30, $900 7/7-7/14, $1450. 1st flr. (609) 970-7271 Stone Harbor, NJ $950/wk Slps 6, close to twn & bch. 513-289-0468 VASSAR SQ. Condo LG 1BR/2BA Bchfrt, $12K/season. 609-822-6868/822-0082

DODGE CARAVAN SE 2000 $1750 4 dr, 7 pass, loaded, clean 215-280-4825

FORD 2004 Luxury Taurus 4 dr 9-pass Station wagon, perhaps the finest avail, owner sac. TODAY $4975 (oppurtunity of a lifetime) Also Ford 1999 Luxury Crown Victoria LX, 4 door, perhaps the finest available, quick private sale $3975. my new car ha arrived . 215-922-6113

Ford Explorer Sport 2001 asking $2,450 2 door, 4x4, loaded, clean. 215-518-8808

Cash paid on the spot for unwanted vehicles, 24/7 pick up, 215-288-9500

Junk Cars & Trucks Wanted, $400, Call 856-365-2021

A1 PRICES FOR JUNK CARS FREE TOW ING , Call (215) 726-9053

Ocean City, NJ 4BR/2BA $399,900 WOW! Waterfront! FSBO, SFH. Amazing views! www.67shorehouse.com or call 610-574-1861

Chevy Impala 2001 $2,700/obo loaded, runs great, 1 owner. 267-441-4612

DODGE RAM CARGO VAN 2000 $3500 6cyl, auto, AC, 1 own, 69k 215-601-6665

JUNK CARS WANTED 24/7 REMOVAL. Call 267-377-3088

Belmar, NJ 1BR/1BA $250,000 201 Eighth Avenue - Unit 4B 917-716-8799 Gerard Balsamo, American Realty Associates

Cadillac 1999 Sedan Deville $3975 Lux 4 dr, a/c, full pwr, S/S whls, few orig mi, woman driver. Carol 215-922-5342

Chrysler LeBaron convertible 1994 $1350 auto, AC, 113K, runs exc 215-620-9383

$250 & UP FOR JUNK CARS Call 215-722-2111

Ocean City: sunny, spacious, duplex, 1br, $6900season, $3600 1/2 season, 1br with loft $3950 first 1/2 season. 609.398.1348

19xx Somerset 2BR $585+utils fenced backyd, 3 mo mvn 215-514-0653 2, 3br Voucher: Section 8 Welcome 8xx E. Hilton, renovated, W/D, near El. $900/month. Call 215-206-4582 32xx N Philip 3br/1ba $690+utils wall/wall carpets, porch. 215-836-1960 33xx Malta St. 2BR/1BA $750 W/D, fridge, Sec 8 OK.. 215-632-5763

BUICK RENDEVOUS CXL 2002, sunroof, 3-seater, 140K mi, new insp, needs transmission work. $1250/obo. 267.975.4483

Croydon 828 First Ave 3br $1100+util Newly renovated, Call Erik 215.510.0034

11XX W. VENANGO new renov 2BR. 1st, last+1 mo sec. $650/mo 215-228-7543

48xx Gransback St. 3br $950+utils porch, garage, sec 8 ok, 267-992-3233 6xx E. Courtland 2BR/1BA $725+ Excel. move in cond. Call 267-544-9221 Olney & Feltonville 3BR/2BR $835/$650 Olney 3BR $835/Mo Utilities. Feltonville 2BR $650/Mo Utilities. Call Mr. Tan 267-287-3175

F150 Harley Davidson 2012 $39,500 Call 267-820-9121 or email paulalxdresdee@hotmail.com Ford F-150 XLT 2001 new body style, 4 dr,lux super ext. cab,mag whls, prem tires, orig mi, sacrifice $6,975. 215-629-0630

DISCOVERY SE 2003 4 door w/2 sunroofs, all extras, orig mi, woman driver, sacrifice below KBB $6950 215-627-1814

Darby 3br/1ba $950+utils prch,yd,close shop & transp 610.696.2022

low cost cars & trucks

CHEVY S-10 4WD 2003 $6700 AC,auto,bedliner,X-cnd,39K 610-279-8110

Ford Explorer XLT 1996 asking $1,650 4 door, 4x4, loaded, clean 215-280-4825 Ford Taurus 1992 $850 auto, AC, clean, insp, rns exc215.620.9383 Honda Odyssey 2000 156K miles. Call 267-265-7996

$3,950

Lincoln Continental 2000 $3,695 90K, fully loaded, gorgeous 610.524.8835 Mercury Cougar 1991 $1,100 3.8L V6, 177K mi., AC, PW. 215-873-4220 NISSAN Altima 1994 $2600 75k orig miles, new insp., runs and looks new, Call (215)830-8881

Plymouth Voyager LE 1992 $1595 all pwr, 74k, runs/looks new215.620.9383 TOYOTA COROLLA 1998 $3500 106k, Blue, auto, ex cond. 215-900-6299

jobs Child Care: 3 days/wk, light housework. car required, Resume: dexterpa@att.net Housekeeper, errands, PT-FT, 5 yrs exp, refs,car,bkgd chk,Overbrook,215.290.2100

53

FRANKFORD: $450/mo includes utilities & mini fridge. Call 215-259-8666

OVERBROOK PARK 3BR $1150 finished basement. Call 610-642-5655

Ditman St. 5BR/2BA $1300 w/d, fridge, yard, sec 8 ok. 215-632-5763

automotive

P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R | M A Y 1 7 - M A Y 2 3 , 2 0 1 2 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T |

24xx N 10th rooms $300 to move in $100/wk Call Greg 215-668-3990

homes for rent

42nd & Market 3BR/1BA $895 + utils. 2mo sec. dep. Call 215-878-5056

Bridge & Pratt 3br/1ba section 8 ok, (609)941-5642

classifieds

LAWNCREST 1-2BR $650-$700 quiet neighborhd,lrg backyd 215.880.2051

Frankford, furnished, near bus & El, $85/wk & up + $295 sec. 215-526-1455 Frankford, Newly renov, nicely furnished, A/C W/D, cable, clean, safe & secure. Call (267)333-0901 Germantown Area: NICE, Cozy Rooms Private entry, no drugs (267)988-5890 Germantown - Nice size rms, fridge & microwave, $100-$125/wk. 267.625.6189 Hunting Park: Furn. Luxury Rooms. Free utils, cable, internet. 267-331-5382 Logan/WP/NP private entry, furnished, $85-$115/wk. 609-526-5411 N PHILA: $150/week Large room for rent w/ private kit & bath, 267-882-7752 N. Phila. bed refrig micro $85-$90/wk $225 mv-in 215-765-5578 N. Phila furnished room avail. mature adults with income, 215-384-4828 N Phila Furn, Priv Ent $75 & up . No drugs, SSI ok. available now 215.763.5565 N Phila Sr. citizen, single occ. $100 wk utils inc, Call 267-385-5932 South Phila furn room, fridge, renovated, no drugs. 215-465-3080 SW,N, W Move-in Special! $90-$125/wk Clean furn. rooms. SSI ok. 215-220-8877 SW Phila. furnished, with cable & HBO. $100-$130/wk. Call KB (347)316-4094 SW, W & N Phila, large room for rent, utils incl, newly renovated (215)768-7059

14xx Felton St 3BR off 62nd & Media. Sec 8 ok 215-848-5072 1xx N. 60th St., 4BR, 1BA, $875/mo. porch, fin bsmt, rear deck 215-519-5437 2Br, 3Br & 4Br Houses Sec. 8 welcome beautifully renovated, (267)981-2718 2xx S 56th St. 4br $950+utils 12xx N. Aldon 4br $850+utils yard, nice area, Call 267-292-5274 34 S. 55 lrg 3Br $850+utils lrg EIK, front porch, rear yard, great street "The Landlord That Cares" Tasha 267.584.5964, Mark 610.764.9739 58xx Cedar 4BR/1BA $1500/mo. beautiful, Newly renov., W/D, D/W, C/A, fridge, section 8 ok. 215-605-8747 60th & Girard clean rooms for rent. Call today & move in today. 267-684-8272 707 N. 42nd St. 6 BR/2 BA open Saturday, sect. 8 ok, (718)679-7753 7xx N. 43rd 3Br/1.5Ba $800 water incl high celings, hdwd flrs. (201)362-9342 Cobbs Creek 3Br/1Ba $900 newly renov, enclosed porch, tiled kitchen and bath, hdwd flrs, granite counter tops, 2 mo security + 1 mo rent. (215)200-2742 West Philly 2Br/1Ba $700/mo. 1st & last, 1mo. sec. Call 267-977-0947 W. Phila 1br-4br Apts & Houses, $700$900. 1st/last/sec. 215-878-2857

the naked city | feature | a&e | the agenda | food

apartment marketplace

food | the agenda | a&e | feature | the naked city classifieds

jobs Mobile Phlebotomist

Phila., Surrounding Counties & South Jersey Counties Must have 2 years experience, reliable car and PC. Great rates. Fax resume: 267-763-1519

Physician (PA & NJ Licensed)

Save BIG on Legendary Omaha Steaks® World-famous Omaha Steaks, aged to perfection, flash-frozen at the peak of flavor and delivered to your door... 100% guaranteed!

EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR

The Arc of Chester County

A diverse non-profit organization serving people with intellectual and developmental disabilities, is seeking a seasoned, self motivated and innovative Executive Director. MS degree preferred; minimum 10 years mgmt exp required. For details on primary responsibilities and qualifications see our ad at www.arcofchestercounty.org

Accounts Payable Manager King of Prussia

distributor requires a hands on person with at least 5 years experience in computerized payables. 401K and health insurance State your salary requirements in your resume and fax the information to 610-649-3583

Mechanical Design Engineer

54 | P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R |

M A Y 1 7 - M A Y 2 3 , 2 0 1 2 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T

State College, PA

Sound Technology, Inc., a leading manufacturer of high-quality medical ultrasound transducers, ISO 13485 and 9001-certified and past recipient of the Pennsylvania Governor’s Export Achievement and CBICC Technology Company of the Year Awards, is seeking a Mechanical Design Engineer in our Manufacturing Engineering Group. This is a great opportunity to join a team of engineers with responsibilities to define, establish, qualify, validate and continuously improve processes in a medical equipment manufacturing environment. We are looking for an individual with core knowledge and demonstrated application in Mechanical Design to design injection molds for precision high quality components. The ideal candidate will possess experience in injection mold tool design, disciplined design review, strong knowledge of tool build, high competency in Solid Works 3D modeling CAD software and a strong understanding of engineering resins. A minimum of 10 years experience contributing in a technical manufacturing or development engineering environment is expected. We offer a competitive salary, outstanding benefits and a flexible, small-company work environment. In return, we are looking for hard-working, flexible and positive-minded individuals. If you are interested in applying for this position, please mail a cover letter, including salary requirements, along with a current resume, to: Human Resources Sound Technology, Inc. 1363 S. Atherton Street State College, PA 16801 You may also email your resume to hr@sti-ultrasound.com or fax it to Human Resources at (814)234-5033 Sound Technology is an Equal Opportunity Employer

RESTAURANT MANAGER

Prestigious restaurant in Central Jersey

The successful candidate will have private club and management experience. We offer outstanding benefits package inc. 401k, bonus, education allowance and full family health benefits along with a generous base salary . Please send resume to jcase@trentoncc.com

Philadelphia, PA

Arrow Material Services is seeking a seeking commitment from a "hands on", dedicated, career-minded Operations Manager for our Bulk Transload facility in Philadelphia, PA. Qualified candidates must have minimum of an Associate’s Degree; 3-5 years of management experience, an verifiable understanding of road and rail transportation operations, safety, and transloading bulk commodities including food grade and hazardous materials. Qualified candidates must be able to pass an extensive background check and pre-employment drug screen. Responsibilities include all aspects of transload terminal operations including; inventory and quality control, customer relationships, safety/environmental, equipment operations and maintenance and people development. Arrow offers competitive wages and benefits, is EOE & DRUG FREE. Interested individual’s resumes and salary histories will only be accepted electronically. Please email resume to: applicants@arrowmaterial services.com

Adoptions Are you pregnant? A childless married couple seeks to ADOPT. Financial security. Expenses paid. Call Christine & Norbert. Ask for Michelle/ Adam 1-800-790-5260.

Thrill Dad! Father’s Day is June 17th.

ADOPTION

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OPERATIONS MANAGER

market place

ADOPTION

Phila, Hellertown, PA & S Jersey

Physician to oversee small groups of patient infusions approx 4-5 days per month in a clinic setting. Infusion therapy is FDA approved. Nursing & admin staff present on each infusion. Interested candidates Fax CV to 888-573-8996 Attn: Michelle

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Public Notices AIRLINE CAREERS

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6-Piece Cutlery Set and FREE Cutting Board

PREGNANT? CONSIDERING ADOPTION? Talk with caring agency specializing in matching Birthmothers with Families nationwide. LIVING EXPENSES PAID. Call 24/7 Abby’s One True Gift Adoptions 866-413-6293.

99

Get 2 FREE Gifts with purchase Limit of 2 packages and 1 FREE Cutlery Set and Cutting Board per address. Standard shipping & handling will be applied per address. Hurry! Offer expires 6/30/12. ©2012 OCG | 13884 | Omaha Steaks, Inc.

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begin here-Become an Aviation Maintenance Tech. FAA approved training. Financial aid if qualified-Housing available. Job placement assistance. CALL Aviation Institute of Maintenance 888834-9715. EARN COLLEGE DEGREE ONLINE

*Medical, *Business, *Criminal Justice, Job placement assistance. Computer available. Financial Aid if qualified. SCHEV Certified. Call 888-220-3984. www.CenturaOnline.com SAWMILLS

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win blog movie passes concert tix DVDs

SAWMILLS from only $3,997MAKE MONEY & SAVE MONEY with your own bandmill-Cut lumber any dimension. In stock ready to ship. FREE info & DVD: www.norwoodsawmills. com/300N 1-800-578-1363 Ext. 300N. WANTED TO BUY

WANTED UNEXPIRED DIABETIC TEST STRIPS: Up to $26.00/Box. PRE-PAID SHIPPING LABELS. Hablamo Espanol. 1-800-266-0702 www. SellDiabeticStrips.com

Automotive Marketplace CAR OWNERS EARN $600/MONTH

Sately rent our your car anytime you are not using it. You control the price, times & people for each rental. RelayRides provides insurance, driver-screening & support. Tex (415) 868-5691 for details + special offer. Free to join. www.RelayRides.com/Car CASH FOR CARS

ANY CAR/Truck. Running or Not! Top Dollar Paid. We Come to You! Call for Instant Offer. 1-888-420-3808 www. cash4car.com

Business Services REGULAR MASSAGE THERAPY

Special Price! Call (215)-8734835. 1218 Chestnut St.

citypaper.net/win

Home Services MOVING & STORAGE

Superior Moving & Storage, Inc. 215-335-5500. The Lowest Rates! In businees over

Health Services GOD GIFTED PSYCHIC

Love Specialist, Stop Divorce, Cheating, Reunites Seperated Partners, Solves Severe Problems. Never Fails. FREE 15 MINUTE Ready By Phone 254-420-6794.

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jobs

HELP WANTED

EARN $1000-$3200 a month to drive our new cars with ads. www.PaidDriver.com HELP WANTED

FOREMEN to lead utility field crews. Outdoor physical work, many positions, paid training, $17/hr.plus weekly performance bonuses after promotion, living allowance when traveling, company truck and benefits. Must have strong leadership skills, good driving history, and able to travel in Pennsylvania and nearby States. Email resume to Recruiter4@osmose.com or apply online at www.OsmoseUtilities.com EOE M/F/D/V HELP WANTED DRIVER

AVERITT has Great Opportunity for CDL-A Drivers! 42.5 cpm w/1+ Year’s Experience (Depends on Location).Weekly Hometime/Full Benefits! Paid Refresher Course Available. 888-362-8608 AVERITTcareers.com EOE HELP WANTED DRIVER

Class-A Team Drivers-Dedicated runs to Mor ton, IL. $1,000/week. $500 Sign On Bonus. Home Weekly. Consistent Miles/Freight. Day one medical. 866-331-3335. www. drivecrst.com HELP WANTED DRIVER

Drivers-CDL-A DRIVERS NEEDED! Up to $3,000 Sign-

HELP WANTED DRIVER

Drivers-CDL-A TEAM with TOTAL! *MILES *EQUIPMENT *BENEFITS $.50/mile for Hazmat Teams. Solo drivers also needed! 800-942-2104 Ext. 7307 or 7308 www.Drive4Total.com HELP WANTED DRIVER

Drivers-Flexible hometime, Full or Part-time. Modern Trucks. Local Orientation. Quarterly Safety Bonus. Single Source Dispatch. Requires 3 months recent experience. 800-414-9569 www. driveknight.com

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Only $49,000 to $65,000. For info call (757) 824-5284 email: oceanlandtrust@yahoo.com, pictures on website: www. corbinhall.com

real estate

Resort/ Vacation Property for Sale VACATION RENTALS

Land/ Lots for Sale LAND FOR SALE

Drivers: Sign On Bonus $2000$7500. Solo Teams. 1 year OTR. CDL-A Hazmat Up to .513 877628-3748 www.driverNCTrans. com

Upstate NY Land Sale “Sportman Bargain” 3 acres w/cozy cabin, Close access to Oneida Lake -$75,995. “Large River” over 900 ft. 18 acres along fishing/swimming river -$49,995. “Timberland Investment” -90 acres deer sanctuary, beautiful timber studs, small creaek -$99,995. Over 100 new properties. Call 800-229-7843 Or visit landandcamps.com

HELP WANTED DRIVER

LAND FOR SALE

HELP WANTED DRIVER

Exp. Reefer Drivers: GREAT PAY/Freight lanes from Presque Isle, ME, Boston-Lehigh, PA. 800-277-0212 or primeinc. com HELP WANTED DRIVER

NEW TO TRUCKING? Your new career starts now! *$0 Tuition Cost *No Credit Check *Great Pay & Benefits. Short employment commitment required. Call: (866) 447-0377 www.joinCRST.com HELP WANTED!!!

Make money Mailing brochures from home! FREE Supplies! Helping Home-Workers since 2001! Genuine Opportunity! No experience required. Start immediately! www.theworkhub.net

Virginia Seaside Lots: Spectacular 3+ acre estate lots in exclusive development on the seaside (the mainland) overlooking Chincoteague Bay and islands and ocean beyond. Gated entrance, paved roads, caretaker, community dock, pool and club house including owners guest suites. Build the house of your dreams! Unique bank foreclosure situation makes these lots available at 1/3 or original cost. Great climate, low taxes and National Seashore beaches nearby.

OCEAN CITY, MARYLAND. Best selection of affordable rentals. Full/partial weeks. Call for FREE brochure. Open daily. Holiday Real Estate. 1-800638-2102 Online reservations: www.holidayoc.com.

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rentals

Apartments for Rent 15TH/SPRUCE:

Large 1BD in sought after location. Beautiful art-deco details, Front Desk Attendant, HW Flrs, Onsite Laundry, New Kitchens Avail, Wonderful City Views. From $1130/mo. 215735-8030. Lic #219789.

Situations Wanted JOB WANTED LOOK!!!

I am looking for work...I am a General Helper that can do anything. You name it.... reliable dependable morning person. Frank 267-9180516.

info email: madsquarerent@ gmail.com

15TH/SPRUCE: BEAUTIFUL ART DECO HIGH-RISE

Roommates

Studio Apt, Desk Attendant, HW Flrs, Updated Kitchen, Onsite Laundry, Intercom Entry, Amazing Location! From $990/Mo. 215-735-8030. Lic #219789.

ALL AREAS-ROOMATES. COM

All areas - Best rates! 267-9944815 www.deadbedbug.info

Browse hundreds of online listings with photos and maps. Find your roommate with a click of the mouse! Visit: http://www. Roommates.com.

One Bedroom

Rental Wanted

RITTENHOUSE SQUARE

APARTMENT WANTED FOR MYSELF!

?? GOT BED BUGS ??

Lrg 1BD in Beautiful Brownstone Seconds to the Square, Renovated Kitchen w/ Breakfast Bar, New Bathrm, HW Flrs, Hi Ceilings, A/C, Intercom Entry. $1295/Mo. Avail August. 215735-8030. lic# 216850

I am currently looking in Center City a one or two bedroom 1st floor front or Rent vacant unit rented. 2 months down. Older male. Ask for Frank 267-918-0516.

Homes

Vacation/ Seasonal Rental

HOME ON HISTORIC BLOCK!

BRIGANTINE

22XX Madison Square. 3Bd/ 1.5Ba on stunning block in Grad Hosp Area. ($2,000 + utilities) Avail for 1-Yr lease on 7/1/12. NON-SMOKERS ONLY! For

2 bdrm, Pets OK, fenced yard. Available 5/25-5/29- $575. 6/3-6/17 $1400. July/August $1350/week. www.BrigB.com Call 856-217-0025

!NTIQUE 6INTAGE &LEA -ARKET UNDER THE PAVILION AT HEAD HOUSE SQUARE

2ND & LOMBARD SAT, MAY 19TH

9AM TIL 5PM BUT EARLY BIRDS WELCOME!

15TH/SPRUCE:

Large/Bright 2B in Historic Brownstone. HW Flrs, Decorative Fireplace, Lrg Closets, High Ceilings, Lrg Windows. Onsite Laundry, Intercom En-

For Our Entire Flea Market Schedule Log Onto:

GENTLY MOVING YOUR EARTHLY POSSESSIONS

215.670.9535

$$$HELP WANTED$$$

Extra Income! Assembling CD cases from Home! No Experience Necessary! Call our Live Operator Now! 1-800-405-7619 Ext. 2450 http://www.easyworkgreatpay.com

try. Avail July. $1550/mo. 215735-8030. Lic #380139

classifieds

Help Wanted – General

On Bonus for Qualified Drivers! 6 mo OTR exp. req’d. CALL OR APPLY ONLINE 877-521-5775 www.USATRUCK.jobs

the naked city | feature | a&e | the agenda | food

thirty years. We move everywhere! Licensed, Bonded, & Insured. www.superiormovinginc.com

WWW.MAMBOMOVERS.COM

@2?C602@

Torchia & Associates

CONCIERGE LEGAL SERVICES GENERAL PRACTICE – ESTATE & TAX PLANNING

1420 Walnut Street, Suite 1216 215-546-1950; watorchia@gmail.com www.generallawfirm.com

www.PhilaFleaMarkets.org 215 - 625 - FLEA (3532)

THE HISTORIC

LENNOX APARTMENTS

By Emily Flake

• SPACIOUS STUDIOS AND ONE BEDROOM UNITS • BEAUTIFUL APARTMENTS WITH NEW KITCHENS AND BATHROOMS • HARDWOOD FLOORS AND NEW APPLIANCES • MINUTES FROM CHESTNUT HILL AND CENTER CITY • TWO BLOCKS FROM SEPTA’S TULPEHOCKEN STATION • LAUNDRY ON SITE • FRIENDLY ON SITE MANAGEMENT AND MAINTENANCE STAFF

Prices Starting at: Studios $595 and One Bedrooms $695 232-242 W. Walnut Lane, Philadelphia, PA 19144 www.thelennoxapartments.com

(267) 297-7123

P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R | M A Y 1 7 - M A Y 2 3 , 2 0 1 2 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T | 55

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billboard [ C I T Y PA P E R ]

M AY 1 7 - M AY 2 3 , 2 0 1 2 CALL 215-735-8444

Building Blocks to Total Fitness 41035:4 $"'c featuring the girls of

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Bachelor Party Headquarters All Nude, All The Time Home Of The 5 min. Lap Dance 8:00pm – 5:00am

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185 South Carolina Ave. Atlantic City (South Carolina & Boardwalk)

609-340-8820

12 Years of experience. Offering personal fitness training, nutrition counseling, and flexibility training. Specialize in osteoporosis, injuries, special needs. In home or at 12th Street Gym. MCKFitness@yahoo.com

I BUY RECORDS, CD’S, DVD’S

TOP PRICES PAID. No collection too small or large! We buy everything! Call Jon at 215-805-8001 or e-mail dingo15@hotmail.com

STUDY GUITAR W/ THE BEST David Joel Guitar Studio All Styles All Levels. Former Berklee faculty member. Masters Degree with 27 yrs. teaching experience. 215.831.8640 www.myphillyguitarlessons.com

NOW HIRING BEAUTIFUL ENTERTAINERS AT THE PENTHOUSE CLUB! 3001 Castor Avenue. Stop by for Auditions!

NEW AT THE EL BAR!!!

KENSINGTON HAPPY MEAL! EVERY DAY UNTIL 7PM 2 ALL BEEF HOT DOGS A PBR POUNDER A BAG OF CHIPS AND A TOY ALL FOR $5

TEQUILA SUNRISE RECORDS

½ PRICED DRAFTS WEEKDAYS 5-7PM

17 Rotating Drafts Close to 200 Bottles

www.devilsdenphilly.com www.facebook.com/devilsdenphiladelphia www.twitter.com/devilsdenphilly

525 West Girard Ave VINYL AND CD SPECIALISTS CLASSIC & MODERN GLOBAL SOUNDS HOUSE TECHNO DUBSTEP DUB DISCO FUNK SOUL JAZZ DIY PUNK LSD ROCK AND LIGHT HARMONY ROOTS BLUES NOISE AVANT AND MORE TUESDAY-SUNDAY 12-6PM 01-215-965-9616

FRANKINSTIEN BIKE WORX

MEET OR BEAT ANY PRICE! (with ad or coupon) 1529 Spruce Street. Philadelphia 215-893-0415

7&3: (00% “..#&&3 -*45 )"4 (308/ 50 &1*$ 1301035*0/4 ,*5$)&/ )"4 "%%&% "/ &953" #&-- 8*5) 1&3)"14 5)& $*5:Âľ4 #&45 '3*5&4 40.& 45&--"3 #&&3 #"55&3&% '*4) "/% 7&3: (00% .644&-4Âł Craig LeBan, Philadelphia Inquirer, Revisited April 2007

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FREE DRINKING SMARTPHONE APP!!!

City Paper is very pleased to bring you our very first smartphone app! Just go to www.citypaper.net and click our martini glass icon to find out more, or type in ‘Happy Hours in the app store, android marketplace, or blackberry app world. Click the orange martini icon and get drinking. No matter where you go or when you go, you can find the nearest happy hours to you with a single click! You can even sort through bars by preference or neighborhood.

SILK CITY ˜ ˜ FRIDAY:

WORKOUT! BO BLIZ & LOW BUDGET

SATURDAY:

DJ DEEJAY

SUNDAY:

SUNDAE NITE

LEE JONES & DJ DIRTY Open every day 4pm - 2am Sat & Sun Brunch 10am - 4pm 5th & Spring Garden www.silkcityphilly.com

Every First Tuesday At The El Bar

7-9pm $10 to play Lutheran Settlement House Presents BEARDED BINGO

SEMEN DONORS NEEDED

Healthy, College Educated Men 18-39 ~ $150/Sample WWW.123DONATE.COM

SOCIETY HILL LOAN P H I L LY ’ S PA W N S H O P

4&-- #6: (0-% 4*-7&3

Collectibles, Antiques, Musical Instruments, Cameras, Electronics Check Cashing – Money Orders- Money Gram Agent. We Buy Gift Cards 645 South Street, Philadelphia. 215-925-7357

MAKE THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE GET A TATTOO!

PHILADELPHIA EDDIES 621 South 4th St. Tattoo Haven (MIDDLE of Tattoo Row) 215-922-7384 open 7 DAYS

WATKIN’S DRINKERY

Happy hour everyday even weekends - from 5-7. 1/2 price on all 6 taps! Check out our upstairs game room with pool, darts, and some classic arcade games. On the corner of 10th & Watkins Streets in South Philly.

Are You Bored? Lonely? Or Not Understood? We’re HERE!

Your Super Massage Genie! 1 Call and POOF! We land at your front doorstep! Massage, Quality Company, Quality Time, etc, Your location, 24:7 A Good Listening Ear with Your Next Massage, By Someone Ultra-Intelligent & Highly Diversified! OUT-CALL. At Your Service! Call: 215-552-9517 www.EdenLove.FriendlyNow.com

THE EL BAR!!!

Happy Hour Mondays-Fridays 5-7pm $2.50 Kenzinger Pints & More! 215-634-6430 1356 N Front St, Philadelphia, PA.

Sexual Intelligence

Guaranteed-quality, body-safe sexuality products, lubricants, male room, sex-ed classes, fetish gear, Aphrodite Gallery SEXPLORATORIUM 620 South 5th Street www.sexploratoriumstore.com

HAPPY HOUR AT THE DIVE FREE PIZZA! $2 BEER OF THE WEEK! $2 WELL DRINKS! IT’S AMAZING! PASSYUNK AVE (7th & CARPENTER) 215-465-5505 myspace.com/thedivebar

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