Philadelphia City Paper, June 7th, 2012

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Publisher Nancy Stuski Editor in Chief Theresa Everline Senior Editor Patrick Rapa News Editor Samantha Melamed Web Editor/Movies Editor Josh Middleton Arts Editor/Copy Chief Emily Guendelsberger Senior Writer Isaiah Thompson Staff Writer Daniel Denvir Assistant Copy Editor Carolyn Wyman Contributors Sam Adams, A.D. Amorosi, Janet Anderson, Rodney Anonymous, Mary Armstrong, Nancy Armstrong, Meg Augustin, Justin Bauer, Shaun Brady, Bernard Brown, Chris Brown, Peter Burwasser, Anthony Campisi, Ryan Carey, Jane Cassady, Mark Cofta, Felicia D’Ambrosio, Jesse Delaney, Adam Erace, M.J. Fine, David Anthony Fox, Cindy Fuchs, Michael Gold, K. Ross Hoffman, Brian Howard, Deni Kasrel, Gary M. Kramer, Gair “Dev 79” Marking, Robert McCormick, Andrew Milner, Cassie Owens, Michael Pelusi, Nathaniel Popkin, Robin Rice, Courtney Sexton, Lee Stabert, Andrew Thompson, Tom Tomorrow, Char Vandermeer, John Vettese, Bruce Walsh, Julia West, Brian Wilensky Editorial Interns Madeline Bates, Michael Blancato, Jodi Bosin, Frida Garza, Sabrina Golphin, Katie Linton, Brittany Thomas, Alexandra Weiss, Nina Willbach, Andrew Wimer Associate Web Editor/Staff Photographer Neal Santos Production Director Michael Polimeno Editorial Art Director Reseca Peskin Senior Designer Evan M. Lopez Editorial Designers Brenna Adams, Matt Egger Contributing Photographers Jessica Kourkounis, Mark Stehle Contributing Illustrators Ryan Casey, Don Haring Jr., Joel Kimmel, Cameron K. Lewis, Thomas Pitilli, Matthew Smith Human Resources Ron Scully (ext. 210) Office Manager/Sales Coordinator/Financial Coordinator Tricia Bradley (ext. 232) Circulation Director Mark Burkert (ext. 239) Senior Account Managers Nick Cavanaugh (ext. 260), Sharon MacWilliams (ext. 262), Stephan Sitzai (ext. 258) Account Managers Sara Carano (ext. 228), Chris Scartelli (ext. 215), Donald Snyder (ext. 213) Marketing/Online Coordinator Jennifer Francano (ext. 252) Office Coordinator/Adult Advertising Sales Alexis Pierce (ext. 234) Sales Intern Chelsee Lebowitz Founder & Editor Emeritus Bruce Schimmel

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contents “Vincent Price Wasn’t Very Nice.”

Naked City ...................................................................................6 Arts & Entertainment.........................................................14 Movies.........................................................................................23 Agenda........................................................................................26 Food & Drink ...........................................................................34 COVER ILLUSTRATION BY EVAN M. LOPEZ DESIGN BY RESECA PESKIN

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Brinae Ali, Monica McIntyre, Valerie Gay. Simona Rodano, Techmobile from the Free Library, and the new Arts Alive Mobile from Main Line Art Center

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the thebellcurve CP’s Quality-o-Life-o-Meter

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A bat that bit two people at a swim club in King of Prussia tests positive for rabies.All relevant parties are administered a wooden stake through the heart. Technically, this will stop the spread of the disease.

[0]

Gov. Ed Rendell releases his new book, A Nation of Wusses: How America’s Leaders Lost the Guts to Make Us Great. Chapter titles include“Death toAmerica,”“DIYIEDs” and“LetMe BeVeryClearAboutThis:I Have Joined al-Qaida.”

[ -4 ]

Health officials say at least five people near Wilmington were bitten or scratched by a cat that tested positive for rabies.Time for some tax-free staking.

[ -1 ]

Awallaby is found in the woods in upstate Pennsylvania. “G’day, mite. I was on a walkabout lookin’ for bloomin’ onions and seem to ’ave lost me way. Would you be so kind as to direct me to — holy dooley! You’ve gone and staked me wee wallaby ’art, ya hoon! I’m chunderin’ blood.Would some conch call an ambo? Oh hooroo, cruel world.”

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FormerPennsylvania state House Speakers John Perzel and Bill DeWeese,convicted of separately misusing public funds,are now cellmates.AndneverbeforeweretheCamp Hill dominoes stakes so high. Inhisbook,Gov.Rendellsaysthatingeneral Mayor Nutter is a“non-wuss,”but does call him a “weenie” at least once. Because it was Rendell’s toughness that made him a great mayor from 1992 to 2000, and not the steadily climbing national economy that happens to correlate to that same period. A federal crackdown on Chinatown buses shuts down three companies based in Philly. And the rest will come to a stop on their own.

[ + 2 ] A Russian man and a German woman win the 2012 Philadelphia International Cycling Championship. Undoing everything the Greatest Generation had accomplished.

[0]

MayorNutter will be the keynote speaker this week at the Sugary Drinks Summit of 2012.Weenie.

This week’s total: -7 | Last week’s total: -3

CLEAN ENERGY: Gabriel Mandujano says affordability was one reason he chose to launch his bike-powered laundry service, Wash Cycle Laundry, in Philly. neal santos

[ business ]

The New Deal Can Philly turn a tradition of brotherly love into a new sustainable economy? By Samantha Melamed

I

t’s not surprising that Aakash Mathur launched a company; he is, after all, a Wharton grad. Less expected, given business schools’ reputations as havens for 1-percenters: that the company would be Hydros Bottle, a startup dealing in water bottles with built-in filters, with a mission of reducing waste while bringing clean water to needy regions. And even more surprising, to some, is that Mathur and co-founder Jay Parekh decided to start and grow their business in Philadelphia. Mathur says that decision just made sense. “We received a lot of support from the school and the city, in terms of helping us get the company started and make a lot of key contacts and put together a plan to go after this idea,” he says. “We really see a lot of enthusiasm here, and that support is pretty awesome.” While the San Francisco region has a strong grip on the tech industry, and new York exudes a powerful gravitational pull on social media, fashion and other sectors, some say Philadelphia has a real shot at becoming the national locus for social enterprises like Hydros, businesses that have environmental or humanitarian motives baked into their core missions. Let California have Silicon Valley; social-enterprise advocates think Philly can repurpose its historic moniker as the City of Brotherly Love.

Garrett Melby, managing director of GoodCompany Group, a local social-enterprise incubator and accelerator, says that — while many aren’t aware of it here — elsewhere in the country Philly already has a reputation as a burgeoning social nexus: “Philadelphia as a hub for social enterprise has more credibility in San Francisco than it does in Philly. There are a bunch of things that have come out of Philly that are national foundations of this movement.” That started back in the ’80s with White Dog Café mastermind Judy Wicks — the force behind the Sustainable Business network of Philadelphia and an early proponent of social enterprise. Since then, B Lab, a certifying organization to recognize do-gooding companies as B Corporations, has sprung up nearby. Philly recently became the first city in the nation to get a regional offshoot of Investor’s Circle, a national organization of angel investors focusing on sustainable business. Volunteer writers have begun publishing the Philadelphia Social Innovations Journal, and even Wharton has switched gears to make social enterprise a priority. In March, the social-job-search site Give to Get Jobs ranked Philly 10th among u.S. cities for social enterprise. Melby thinks he and his colleagues can help make it number one. Four years ago, Melby helped launch GoodCompany Ventures, the country’s first boot-camp-style accelerator to prepare social entrepreneurs to attract venture capital; recently, he merged with Green Village, which runs an incubator (a longer-term, less-intensive offering) and mentorship programs also targeted to social startups.

“Philly has credibility as a hub.”

>>> continued on page 8

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Gut and Switch Legislation is, at its best, an art. It can also be, at something close to its worst, an outright scam. The Pennsylvania General Assembly is not always known for its artistic prowess. Take, for example, the Pennsylvania Gut and Switch, a legislative technique — if that’s the word for it — wherein an “amendment” is introduced to some old bill that, in fact, rewrites the whole thing into something else that is then shunted through the General Assembly like a greased potato. And greasy it is: This little loophole allowed the Pennsylvania General Assembly to pass, almost literally overnight, Act 71 — a bill that began as an obscure horse-racing law and became, out of nowhere, a massive bill legalizing casino gambling in Pennsylvania. The Gut and Switch was also used by our legislators to give themselves salary increases in 2005, in a scandal known as the “midnight pay raise.” It was hauled out again this week when the House Judiciary Committee took up an amendment in a Tuesday hearing that, in effect, replaced all the language of Senate Bill 273 — a gun bill that had been scrapped in favor of another, nearly identical one from the state House — with new language that morphed it into a bill that forces municipalities to reimburse the legal costs of any challenge to gun laws it passes that is either overturned or withdrawn before a judge rules. The backdrop to this bill is a series of laws passed in some 30 cities and towns across Pennsylvania requiring the timely reporting of lost and stolen handguns. While state law, which has been heavily influenced by the powerful nra lobby, generally preempts local ordinance when it comes to guns (several ordinances proposed in Philadelphia did not survive legal challenges), the

“lost and stolen” laws have withstood challenges in Pittsburgh and Philadelphia all the way up to the state Supreme Court. Supporters argue that once a handgun is lost or stolen, it is no longer in “lawful use” and therefore not covered by state pre-emption. What Tuesday’s amendment would do, says Max nacheman of the anti-gun-violence group CeaseFire PA, is open the door for endless nra lawsuits against these still-legal ordinances. Municipalities, he argues, have limited funds to fight such suits. Should they simply withdraw the ordinance, they’d be forced to pay untold sums to the “victims” of lost-and-stolen regulations. “Thirty towns and cities have passed these regulations,” nacheman says. “The towns will face the choice to drive themselves bankrupt to defend a local ordinance the solicitors do not believe and the courts have not declared improper.” State Rep. Darryl Metcalf, generally a leader of the charge to the right of the right in the state legislature, had proposed even harsher penalties in a bill, HB 1523, that has not so far been passed. Tuesday’s Gut and Switch represented, in effect, another try, minus public debate. The amendment almost entirely rewriting the defunct bill was swiftly passed through the House Judiciary Committee and to the floor for a vote (as of press time, no vote has taken place). An aide to state Rep. Thomas Caltagirone, the minority chair of the committee, acknowledged that the older bill was simply a “vehicle” for the new amendment that rewrote it wholesale, but denied that anything shady had taken place, not-

ing that there had been “private” agreement among leadership over the amendment and that it was a “softer” version of Metcalf’s bill. That does little to satisfy the opponents of the last-second legislative move. “Oh, it’s softer,” nacheman agreed — “slightly softer than a terrible, terrible law.” —isaiah thompson >>> continued on page 10

photostream ➤ submit to photostream@citypaper.net

alan barr

By Isaiah Thompson

hazardouS haSte ➤ ON TUESDAY, the city found itself facing a

federal lawsuit over Mayor Michael Nutter’s ban on the serving of food outdoors in city parks — a measure aimed rather obviously at the feeding of (mostly) homeless people that’s taken place on the Benjamin Franklin Parkway for years. The suit, filed by the civil-rights law firm Kairys, Rudovsky, Messing & Feinberg, as well as the American Civil Liberties Union and attorney Seth Kreimer, alleges that the mayor’s ban denies the plaintiffs — a mix of religious groups and individuals who’ve been serving meals on the Parkway — their rights to free speech and freedom of religion. It also lays out a scathing critique of the mayor’s policy. Take, for example, this tidbit from the complaint: “While the Mayor claims that the new policy was intended to advance the ‘dignity’ of the homeless,” the City Hall apron, the mayor’s proposed alternative site, “is surrounded by heavy traffic at all hours, the surface is comprised of concrete slabs, the construction at Dilworth Plaza produces noise and dust throughout the day, and there are few places to sit.” Ouch! But that’s not the only sting the mayor’s policy has received. Last week, in a hearing by City Council’s Committee on Housing, Neighborhood Development & the Homeless, the mayor’s policy was scorned not only by those we might have expected to scorn it, but also by Sister Mary Scullion, executive director of Project H.O.M.E., who had appeared at the mayor’s side when he announced the ban. At the time, Scullion told CP that her support was contingent on the mayor’s providing more resources for the homeless. In a letter read by a representative at the Council hearing, Scullion said, “The reality is that the proposed indoor dining centers are not yet in place. … Therefore we cannot support the ban on outdoor meals at this time.” The present disorder perhaps reflects the haste with which the policy was announced. The mayor’s ban was unveiled with virtually no prior input from or notice to the groups it most closely affected. Then weeks went by before a task force was appointed to come up with ideas for more indoor meals; some of its members are now among the plaintiffs suing the city. Of all the things to be in a hurry about right now — including serious impending cuts by the state to our homeless programs — maybe it’s time to rethink this one. Send feedback to isaiah.thompson@citypaper.net

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Philadelphia, 2012

hallmonitor

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[ is shunted through like a greasy potato ]

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The New Deal

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Don’t be. Keswick Cycle has a new store in University City. We’ve got parking, a great selection of parts and accessories, ample test riding space on the beautiful streets of West Philly, a friendly and knowledgeable staff, a skilled service department that works with both new and used bicycles, oh, and we’ve got the largest selection of bikes in Philadelphia.

-PDVTU 4USFFU 1IJMBEFMQIJB 1" t www.KeswickCycle.com Keswick.CycleUC @KeswickCycle

This week, the accelerator greets its latest class of participants, companies from Sweden, Chile, new York City, D.C., Philly — and, yes, from the West Coast. With grants of $25,000 per year, the program has helped 30 entrepreneurs bring in $30 million in venture funding over the past three years. “It’s a program in Philadelphia that’s causing entrepreneurs in San Francisco to pick up and come [here],â€? Melby says. “That’s not something you see a lot of; there’s a lot going in the opposite direction.â€? Melby and GoodCompany Group executive director Zoe Selzer say their goal is inculcating the business rigor entrepreneurs need to win clients and capture investments — while at the same time solving problems previously tackled only by nonprofits. An example is One-Degree Solar, a startup looking to bring solar generators to households without access to electricity. Founder Guarav Marchanda saw nonprofits distributing solar generators, and decided to create a lower-cost, more versatile alternative. He’s now traveling Kenya, building a retail network via motorcycle repair shops. “If he cracks the code on making it commercially viable,â€? says Melby, “then it becomes something he can provide to hundreds of thousands of households, on a scale a nonprofit just couldn’t raise the funds for.â€? Selzer says it’s about looking at social problems as market failures that can be solved with marketbased solutions. “This is a really new sector, and we are, I think, on the forefront of defining what’s happening now, what’s for-profit and what’s nonprofit.â€? A solution like Marchanda’s could not only be big business for him — it could free up nonprofits to focus on more intractable problems. That kind of thinking could be a major benefit to a city like Philadelphia. Deep-seated urban problems here may deter other industries; for social entrepreneurs, though, they present a perfect laboratory. Gabriel Mandujano, founder of Wash Cycle Laundry, saw such a need in Philly’s swollen welfare rolls. He also saw an opportunity in the commercial laundry industry. “It was ready for a shakeup; there’s not a whole lot of innovation in laundry,â€? he says. He figured he could make it greener and more efficient, while building human capital. The result: a company that delivers laundry on bikes, hires from welfare-to-work programs, and is crafting a management curriculum that teaches workers to take charge of their careers by tackling “stretchâ€? assignments that allow them to explore interests and talents, like management or market research. “The goal is to be an escalator ‌ to add mobility to low-wage service jobs,â€? he explains. Still, while Philly presents plenty of opportunity to effect change, it also faces stiff competition, notes Leonard Lodish, vice dean of Wharton’s three-yearold Program for Social Impact. He’s focused on how to keep businesses in Philly, particularly in the face of new wealth coming out of Silicon Valley, and its pull on top technology talent. “To grow Philly, you need mentors and you need good talent, and then you need financial resources,â€? says Lodish. “There are plenty of really good students who are exposed to these concepts. A number

of them get started, and we just need to make sure they stay here.� Warby Parker, the Philly-founded buy-a-pair, give-a-pair eyeglasses company launched by Wharton grads, is among those that have moved to new York. Jay Coen Gilbert, the AnD 1 sneaker tycoon and a co-founder of the Berwyn-based B Lab, is hopeful that advocacy and government intervention can help stanch that kind of loss. He notes that Philly offers the nation’s first city tax incentive for certified B Corps, a $4,000 break. Already, he adds, “Of the 530 B Corps in the u.S. and Canada, 48 of these are located in Pennsylvania.� City cooperation has already proven critical for startups like novaThermal, which recently partnered with the Philly Water Department to build a demonstration site for its technology, a sewage-powered geothermal HVAC system. “It could heat and

“We need to make sure they stay.â€? cool an entire downtown based on an existing sewage loop,â€? says founder elinor Haider. The system is taking off in China, “but the real barrier to entry in the u.S. market was not having a u.S. reference project.â€? What’s left, then, is to convince Philadelphians that they have what it takes. Philly has always had a culture of innovation, according nicholas Torres, co-founder of the Philadelphia Social Innovations Journal. That’s beginning to coalesce into a community. (The journal now attracts 150 to 200 participants to its quarterly conferences.) “In Philadelphia, you have some well-respected national models, but if you ask locally no one really knows about them,â€? he says. “What we’re missing ‌ is just a place where people can understand what is happening in Philadelphia in the social sector.â€? But that, he believes, won’t be the case for long. (samantha@citypaper.net)

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“It’s just all convo luted. I’m hopeful we can get to the bottom of it.� Hearings impaired

! "

a million stories

1900 Benjamin Franklin Parkway, Philadelphia | 215-299-1000 | ansp.org

Last week, City Council passed a resolution “to hold hearings to investigate the cause and impact of the discriminatory practices of Philadelphia’s Department of Public Welfare as it pertains to Lincoln university.â€? DPW, according to Councilwoman Jannie Blackwell — who sponsored the bill along with Maria QuiĂąones-SĂĄnchez and Curtis Jones — appeared to be discriminating against Lincoln grads holding master of human service degrees. As to why, she admitted, “i haven’t the foggiest notion.â€? Oh, the injustice! “You have people who are ready to retire who have MHS degrees, and now the city of Philadelphia is saying, reportedly, ‘We won’t recognize [the degrees].’ And people who have jobs can’t keep jobs,â€? Blackwell told CP. “If you’ve had a master’s for 20 years and you’re ready to retire, now what happens?â€? Turns out, nothing. Department of Human Services spokeswoman Alicia Taylor was confused when CP called her. The state Department of Public Welfare had changed its requirements for

social workers a while back, she explained: As a result, DHS had revised some titles. But, she said, “no one is losing their job.� As for those hearings? Taylor made a few calls and then delivered the news: “they’re not happening.� Council passes lots of resolutions — recent ones include honoring a local restaurateur for “random acts of kindness,� urging the repeal the state’s Castle Doctrine, and even (though perhaps they’ve since come to regret it) declaring June “Local Independent Media Month.� So, perhaps, it seemed like no big deal to pass an 11“whereas�-long resolution to hold hearings on a problem that doesn’t appear to exist. Blackwell explained that the resolution was merely a way to get answers, whether the hearings were necessary or not. She explained, “It’s just all convoluted, so I’m hopeful that we can get to the bottom of it.� —Samantha Melamed

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A LOW-BUDGET AND HIGHLY STRANGE HORROR-MOVIE SENSATION STARRING THE LATE, GREAT MIKEY WILD! A PUNK ACTOR’S DREAM! A DIRECTOR’S NIGHTMARE!

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MIKEY WILD HAS RISEN FROM THE GRAVE.

PHOTO BY NEAL SANTOS

AMERICAN ORIGINAL: Director Isaac Williams’ (above) documentary, Maybe We Can Go to Hollywood, is an endearing portrait of what turned out to be Mikey Wild’s final years.

His spectral figure is clad all in white, his face pale and ghoulish. He creeps forward with a stumbling gait, chin resting on his chest, dead eyes staring forward. He comes inexorably closer, thirsty for revenge, and then … inevitably gets distracted by horror-movie trivia, which he feels compelled to share. In the short film Paying the Price, the late local punk legend and honorary mayor of South Street fulfilled a lifelong dream of portraying his screen idol, Vincent Price. The role may be in name only — Price, of course, was tall, striking and erudite, intoning droll, macabre witticisms as if relishing the feel of silk across his lips. Wild, on the other hand, was diminutive and antic, his voice an always-enthused mumble, as if his tongue was arm-wrestling his teeth. Still, in Paying the Price, directed by Isaac Williams, Mikey Wild is Vincent Price, as well as his ill-fated twin brother Brandon. The film’s brief 20 minutes are full of murder, deception, an imprisoned maiden, stabbing, strangling and the walking dead — the familiar stuff of horror movies. But the true horror can be witnessed in the documentary Maybe We Can Go to Hollywood,in which Williams lives the waking nightmare of valiantly trying to direct Wild through two performances in three blistering late-July days, his lead actor less concerned with learning his lines than with recalling his favorite moments from The Fall of the House of Usher or The Terror or Maniac. Maybe We Can Go to Hollywood ultimately becomes an endearing portrait of what turned out to be Wild’s final years, as a nagging cough interrupting early script read-throughs is revealed to be the lung cancer that would end his life in May 2011. Despite his illness, Wild is unceasingly upbeat throughout the drawn-out two-and-a-halfyear process of making Paying the Price, forever declaring the film to be a masterpiece, a future Academy Award winner, and professing his love for his director. “This film started out documenting us as crack-

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old movies that have nobody in particular in them,” he says. “An audience is going to be much more likely to watch a documentary about a weirdo that they’ve never heard of than to watch a [fictional] movie starring a weirdo they’ve never heard of.” In the near future, Paying the Price will get yet another incarnation as one-fourth of an anthology based around the loose theme of supernatural revenge. The anthology will include Simon Says, also directed by Williams (which will have its premiere in late July before International House’s screening of Andrzej Zulawski’s Possession). Wild will rise again in that anthology; not long before his death, Williams shot host segments featuring Wild as “a cross between Alistair Cooke and the Cryptkeeper” that will introduce the four films. The from-beyond reappearance makes for a fitting epilogue to a horror story, one that already had its happy ending. Wild got to see Maybe We Can Go to Hollywood in 2010 at the first Philadelphia F/MFestival.As Williams remembers,“When I turned the house lights on, Mikey was standing at the back of the theater in the dark, bowing. I pushed him halfway to the front and he stopped and, as if he had practiced it, he looked at me and said, ‘So, do we get the award?’ And somebody in the crowd shouted, ‘Yeah, Mikey, you do!’” No gold statuette or gala awards ceremony would have suited Mikey Wild more. (s_brady@citypaper.net)

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✚ Maybe We Can Go to Hollywood screens Fri., June

15, 11 p.m., $7, as part of the Mausoleum Art Show of Horrors, June 15-16, PhilaMOCA, 531 N. 12th St., philamoca.org.

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pot filmmakers,” Williams says, “and turned into the weirdest buddy movie ever.” The documentary (which includes Paying the Price in its entirety) will screen next weekend at PhilaMOCA’s Mausoleum Art Show of Horrors convention, presented by Philly film blog Cinedelphia. The convention also features a program of short terror flicks curated by local filmmaker Matt Garrett, a horror-themed art show, live performances and a variety of local vendors. But Maybe We Can Go to Hollywood is what will resonate with many locals. Williams, a 33-year-old graduate of Temple’s film program, met Mikey Wild the same place so many others did: on South Street. Williams worked there for years, first at TLA Video and later at the Relapse Records store. “During all of that time,” Williams recalls, “Mikey was a figure who would always show up and make a beeline to the video section, saying, ‘I need Vincent Price!’” One day, Williams took the initiative to inform Wild about the upcoming DVD release of Price’s 1968 film Witchfinder General, and a bond was formed. “After that, when he would come in, it was almost like we had opened up a direct access,” Williams says. “Instead of just being like, ‘Get out, weirdo,’ he could have another spot to stop off at near the Record Exchange and his other haunts.” Paying the Price was inspired by the little-known 1935 Boris Karloff vehicle The Black Room,in which the horror legend plays identical good and evil siblings. Brainstorming with Wild, Williams came up with a simple plot as “an ode to Vincent Price in the ’70s.” The pair made an unlikely duo. In his mid-50s at the time, Wild was a familiar character on South Street, his mental hurdles never having prevented him from taking the stage at J.C. Dobbs as frontman for bands like the Magic Lantern and the Mess, or hawking his hastily scrawled portraits of John Lennon, Hitler or, naturally, Vincent Price. A few years before his passing, he was the subject of a documentary, I Was Punk Before You Were Punk, shot by bandmates eager to celebrate Wild’s eccentricity. Williams is more than two decades younger than his star, with hair to the middle of his back, a full scraggly beard and a jean jacket emblazoned on the back with the pig-headed, chainsawwielding killer from Motel Hell. He’s the sort whose wardrobe includes little that isn’t black, with at least one skull on it. Contrary to appearances, though, he’s soft-spoken and thoughtful, with a sense of humor about his somewhat off-kilter tastes. “I’m not a dark and brooding person,” he says. “But I like to write stories, and most of them are awful; I like to make movies, and most of them are dark.” DOUBLE FEATURE: The metal-loving horror kid grew up in Lancaster, then In the short film Paying graduated from Temple in 2002. Four years later, he started the Price the late Mikey Wild plays both Vincent shooting his debut feature, The Mind. Like all his films, it was Price and his twin brother released under the banner of American Original Pictures, a nod Brandon Price. to bygone producers like American International Pictures and Independent-International, absurdly classy names for companies that churned out drive-in fare by the likes of Roger Corman and Al Adamson. “At the time, the Saw films were really popular, and their production company was called Twisted Pictures,” says Williams, rolling his eyes at such an obvious sobriquet.“I’d rather have something that’s totally banal and an ode to the old exploitation films that I like.” According to Williams, American Original is an “independent cinematic guerilla-warfare unit” both by choice and by necessity. While toiling on his own films he also does bottomrung PA work on major productions that come through the city, the most recent being the Jason Statham action flick Safe. “It’s a relief to see that no matter how many millions of dollars and trained professionals they have, you can watch the same snafus and mistakes happening, costing a lot more money than when they happen on your set.”

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“IT’S WEIRD TO SUDDENLY REALIZE YOU’RE THE SUBJECT INSTEAD OF THE PUPPET MASTER.”

Paying the Price was made for a paltry $178, a sum too meager to even be graced with the word “budget.” Though he recently played the leading role in friend and fellow filmmaker Adam Ahlbrandt’s upcoming feature Cross Bearer (“a really nasty, unfriendly horror movie”),Williams had no intention of starring in his own behind-the-scenes doc.“While editing the film I ended up in a strange situation where I wasn’t just making a documentary about Mikey or about making this movie, but about he and I and what we were doing together. It’s weird to suddenly realize you’re the subject instead of the puppet master.” Their offbeat friendship came more to the forefront as Wild became sicker and the production of what was meant to be a quick-anddirty short stretched out over two-and-a-half years.Williams says that no matter how ill he became,Wild was never less than enthusiastic about shooting, and recalls Wild’s mother crediting the production for giving her son focus and positive energy during the ordeal. As comes up with other differently minded entertainers like Wesley Willis and Daniel Johnston, training a camera on Mikey Wild raises uneasy questions about celebration versus exploitation, laughing with versus laughing at. “I never had in my heart the idea of doing anything except for making a movie where Mikey knew what was going on,” Williams insists. “I wanted to showcase his performative tendencies and abilities.” Williams also realizes that the documentary is likely to find a much broader audience than his hack-and-slash mini-epics might otherwise. “It’s a boon to know this, and it’s also frustrating as a person who likes weird,

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³ ALLOW ME TO introduce y’all to somebody you see all the time, a usually-behind-the-scenes-sortof-chap whose b-day should mean something to you. Punk-before-you-were-punk Dennis McHugh has, in his 49 and eleven-twelfths years, designed and printed new wave T-shirts and other un-formal wear as East Coast Ghost Ltd., had a piece of the Creep Records vinyl shop, launched his blackcherry wishniak booze Vive 1977 with a clothing line to match and promoted every Jesse Malin gig ever in the Delaware Valley. Yet to you he’s that rosy-cheeked guy wearing that Apple cap — day, night, hot weather or chilled. And the motherfucker has hair!Anyway, he’s turning 50 this weekend with a June 8 benefit for Street Tails Animal Rescue at Dobbs starring Walter Lure (of Johnny Thunders’ Heartbreakers), Tough Shits, Paul Hyman from The Serial Killers and Beth Lejman Stack plus a June 9 soiree at Tattooed Mom with Angie Bowie reading from her new book Lipstick Legends and surely telling tall tales about her almost-secret Philly rendezvous-es of the past. Good birthday. ³Staying all Philly-punk for a sec, poet/shop owner Molly Russakoff and multi-instrumentalist/Strapping Fieldhand Bob Dickie had a kid, Johnny Dickie, who grew up to be a film director. His first movie, Slaughter Tales, isn’t even out yet and the dark flick got a review from the Alternative Cinema podcast to be followed up with an end-of-June VHS/ DVD release on Briarwood Entertainment. Look for his proud mom to host a screening at Molly’s Bookstore. ³ GuestCounts Inc. owners Barry Gutin and Larry Cohen — the gents of Square Peg — are doing a late-late brunch at their 10th and Walnut restaubar with exec chef Matt Levin on Sun., June 10, a pay-what-you-want affair for restaurant employees and their friends with all proceeds going to CORE (Children of Restaurant Employees). Look it up on Facebook. Book early. ³ After the heartache of a stalled Kickstarter bus-trip campaign, Joey Martini,Count Scotchula and the barely-clad lasses of Peek-A-Boo Revue won Best Troupe 2012attheInternational Burlesque Hall of Fame Competition in Las Vegas over the weekend. Let them savor the victory — then ask for the cash you loaned them. Psyyych. ³Longtime Philly rocker John Eddieisn’t just doing the same old music thing anymore. He’s the toast of the cruise-ship circuit, lives in Nashville, Tenn., where his songwriting credits took off (Kid Rock covered him), appears in Springsteen’s video for “We Take Care of Our Own” and owns a saloon in St. Croix called Lowlife Bar and Grill. Yet Eddie’ll still grace locals with a country-ish new CD Same Old Brand New Me and a gig to promote it, June 8 at The Blockley.³ More Ice at citypaper.net/criticalmass. (a_amorosi@citypaper.net)

LIPS TOGETHER: Aubrey Deeker as AIDS-stricken Prior kisses Ben Pelteson’s Louis in the Wilma’s must-see production of Angels in America: Millennium Approaches. ALEXANDER IZILIAEV

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DIM BULBS, BETTER ANGELS Our take on four wildly varying new productions about tulips, ghosts, AIDS and hateful people.

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“

gay fantasia on national themes” is the subtitle Tony Kushner gave his two-part magnum opus, Angels in America — and formidable as that sounds, it only begins to capture its grandeur and power. To see Angels anywhere is an opportunity for celebration; to see it here, in Blanka Zizka’s magnificent staging, is a not-to-be-missed experience. Many recent plays feel hyperextended at 90 minutes. Angels, which in full runs nearly seven hours, has a feel of gaining momentum. The first three-plus hours, Millennium Approaches, are now on stage at the Wilma; in September, the second part, Perestroika, will open the Wilma’s next season. It’s been just over 20 years since Millennium’s premiere in 1991, only a few years removed from the play’s setting in mid-’80s New York. The subject, in large part the devastating effect of AIDS on individuals and our country, was part of the living present. In the two decades since, greatly improved medical care and often a muchhappier prognosis have softened the sense of inevitable catastrophe of an HIV diagnosis in America. Yet the brilliance of Kushner’s work — so palpably fueled by pain and anger — has, if anything, grown. No other American dramatist connects fiction so bracingly with his-

tory, or so bravely explores spirituality. It’s the autumn of 1985, and we’re immersed in the parallel worlds of two very different New York couples. Joe and Harper are young Mormon marrieds, transplanted from Utah. Joe, with the help of mentor Ray Cohen, is a potential rising star in Republican politics. Louis and Prior, a gay couple, are facing a far less certain future — Prior has been diagnosed with AIDS, and Louis, a deeply conflicted person under the best of circumstances, can’t cope with the consequences. Their personal stories play out against a vivid tapestry of politics and culture. Millennium stands on its own as a complete evening of theater, but it also sets the stage for more. And what a stage! At the Wilma, director Zizka and her design team (scenery by Matt Saunders, lighting by Russell Champa) have mounted Millennium with breathtaking elegance that’s all the more beautiful for its simplicity — a brilliant white box that transforms itself over and over again. Zizka’s choices are often daringly unexpected — several key scenes are played out in shadow, and the use of an upper-level promenade bisects conversations across wide spaces — but they are always insightful. Intellectual vigor is a hallmark of Zizka’s work, and her sardonic wit is on full display here; the badinage crackles throughout. For many scenes, that’s enough. But Angels is more than a fantasia on national themes: It’s also an elegy, a rumination on the bottomless despair of unexpected loss and the superhuman courage required to overcome it. On this level, the Wilma production doesn’t

A vivid tapestry of culture.

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the naked city | feature

[ in all its mustard-colored glory ] M.J. Fine does it again

Restored by hand to all its mustard-colored glory, Yellow

³ folk/pop At eight songs and 32 minutes, Marissa Nadler’s The Sister (Box of Cedar) is a younger sibling of sorts to the self-titled album she released last June. And as with flesh-and-blood sisters born a year apart, you’ll notice both an uncanny resemblance and willful contradictions. If you’re already fond of Nadler’s mystic songcraft, you’ll make fast friends with gorgeous, ghostly songs like “Christine.” If you’re less attached to her gentle strumming, “Love Again, There Is a Fire” will woo you with its spooky, spare piano. Nadler plays Johnny Brenda’s on Wednesday (June 13, johnnybrendas.com). —M.J. Fine

³ soul A duly bold (or, certainly, unorthodox) comeback project, The Bravest Man in the Universe (XL) finds unsung soul titan Bobby Womack joining forces with Richard Russell and Damon Albarn to strike a genially eclectic old-meets-new-school alchemy, wherein the 68year-old pits his grizzled, gospel-steeped pipes in duet with Lana Del Rey and Malian musician Fatoumata Diawara (and, er, MacTalk) and paraphrases “Walk On By” and “Higher and Higher” atop greasy electronic and hip-hop beats. —K. Ross Hoffman

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Submarine sails back into print on a new Blu-ray and DVD.

Although it was built around the Beatles’ music, the animated adventure had little to do with the Fab Four. But hearing the songs in souped-up surround sound is one of the new edition’s main attractions. With its dystopian cut-and-paste rendition of industrial Liverpool, the film isn’t straight-up children’s fare, but it’s an ideal gateway for young ones, and a great excuse for grownups to —Sam Adams simply sit and listen a while.

³ pop Four years on from her debut, Australia’s Pip Brown — alias Ladyhawke — has, perhaps keeping up with the slowly turning times, toned down her blatant ’80s worship, instead infusing the spiky new wave of Anxiety (Modular) with a crunch and snarl that owes something to the (recently resurgent) ’90s likes of Garbage, Pulp and Elastica, plus a generous side-helping of seedy garage-punk organ. Either way, it’s a total thrill-ride of a record, a lean 36 minutes of all-killer pop — even the ballad kinda kicks — that starts strong and never really lets up, —K. Ross Hoffman even when the lyrics are sort of a downer.

[ movie review ]

MOONRISE KINGDOM

Young lovebirds flee.

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HAVE A WINDOW SEAT: Growing up on a lazy New England isle, preteen Suzy Bishop finds adventure in books, binoculars and her boyfriend Sam Shakusky.

³ GARBAGE IN, GARBAGE out: In the late 1990s, plenty of bands aspired to master that mix of self-assured vocals and self-loathing lyrics, dense guitars and stomach-clenching silences. But pretenders fell short, lacking Shirley Manson’s brittle sexuality and an approach to pop-industrial sampling that could only have come from gang of guys who valued production above jamming. By the early 2000s, that sound had fallen out of favor. Garbage dropped out of sight for a while, larding compilations with just enough new music to keep the diehards happy.The same folks should find much to like on Not Your Kind of People (Stunvolume), the band’s first album in seven years. Because they’re doing what they’ve always done, Manson and co.’s brand of glam-gritty swagger is out of step with the times. But at least they haven’t lost their secret recipe. “Automatic Systematic Habit” scrapes and pulses with a seductive rancor, “Control” finds succor in distortion, and “I Hate Love” hits that old sweet spot with a sugarcoated sucker punch. If it’s not quite a knockout, that’s because Not Your Kind of People is a solid effort, while Garbage is something special. The hands behind the 1995 debut were all professional: Drummer Butch Vig and multi-instrumentalists Duke Erikson and Steve Marker had been pals since the late ’70s, sharing bands and a studio in Madison,Wis., long before they found their future singer on MTV. Though Manson had logged time in Angelfish and Goodbye Mr. Mackenzie back in her native Scotland, initially the band’s biggest name was Vig, who’d produced Nirvana, Sonic Youth and Smashing Pumpkins. All that experience paid off; the icy-hot atmospherics are the perfect setting for Manson’s seething-cool sentiments. “I’m riding high upon a deep depression,” she sings on “Only Happy When It Rains,” speaking for millions of listeners. Garbage peaked at 20 on the Billboard charts, but every song feels like a hit.“Queer” baits with trip-hop pacing,“Supervixen” turns silences into hooks, and “Vow” bridges electric bombast and acoustic soul-searching. Few bands actually pulled off that combination in the ’90s, and even fewer can today. Bless Garbage for still trying. (m_fine@citypaper.net)

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[ A ] IT DOESN’T TAKE long to realize Moonrise Kingdom is a Wes Anderson production. Within a minute, the camera serves up the colorful, compressed shots that have become a trademark of the director’s work. In the past, those flattened spaces filled with cartoonish décor have created a clinical distance that’s entertaining, but cold. This latest feature, however, could be his most affective offering yet. At its center is a love story between preteens Sam Shakusky (Jared Gilman) and Suzy Bishop (newcomer Kara Hayward). Though labeled as troubled, Sam and Suzy are more precocious than tormented, each harboring a mildly existential dread of the future. And it only takes a fleeting glimpse at the grown-ups on their New England isle circa 1965 to understand why. Suzy’s parents, Walt (Bill Murray) and Laura (Frances McDormand), are lawyers with a faltering marriage. Foster kid Sam’s only role model is Khaki Scoutmaster Ward (Edward Norton), a textbook study in arrested development with a childish insistence on militant adherence to camping procedures. Being raised by such flawed adults would make growing up difficult for even the most typical children; Sam and Suzy are anything but. With parents and institutions both failing them, the young lovebirds flee. Throughout their journey, youthful romance is depicted with just the right amount of sentiment. The pair’s affection is mature and restrained, displaying the empathy the island’s adult characters lack without too much mush. Even as threats to their relationship materialize — first from concerned parents, later from Hurricane Deus Ex Machina — Gilman and Hayward portray an impressively reverent devotion. As the storm ravages the picturesque island, Anderson wisely hints at an uncertain post-adolescent future beyond the film’s scope. But Moonrise Kingdom, with its dusty vintage hues and fantastical environs, relishes that remarkable moment of childhood where anything seems possible. —Michael Gold

RECYCLING

MARK GARVIN

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Tulipomania

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Reasons to Be Pretty

✚ Dim Bulbs, Better Angels <<< continued from page 14

engage as fully. Sometimes it feels like we’re skating over the emotional peaks and valleys instead of confronting them. The eight fine actors in the ensemble — Kate Czajkowski, Aubrey Deeker, Maia DeSanti, James Ijames, Stephen Novelli, Benjamin Pelteson, Mary Elizabeth Scallen and Luigi Sottile — were consistently excellent in the humorous and argumentative sequences, but somewhat less effective in the darker moments. (To be fair, I did see it on opening night — things may well deepen over time.) But make no mistake — the Wilma’s Angels is a monumental achievement. Still ahead for Zizka is the even greater challenge of Perestroika, which is longer and not nearly as well-organized. I can’t wait to see what she does with it. Meanwhile, Millennium awaits. Through July 1, $39-$56, Wilma Theater, 265 S. Broad St., 215-5467824, wilmatheater.org. —David Anthony Fox

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³ NEIL LABUTE PISSES people off, and I love it. The third of LaBute’s plays about America’s obsession with personal appearance (following The Shape of Things and Fat Pig), his 2008 Tony-nominated Broadway hit Reasons to Be Pretty starts outrageously, ends with brief and surprising positivity (though all its relationships are doomed) and resists easy classification and explanation. But it sticks with you like a nightmare (and, let’s face it, happy dreams are rarely memorable). Reasons starts with a nasty battle: Steph (Genevieve Perrier) berates her boyfriend Greg (Daniel Abeles) about his description of her looks as “regular” to buddy Kent (Paul Felder), a discussion overheard and reported back to Steph by Kent’s wife Carly (Elizabeth Stanley). Is this damning evidence of Greg’s true feelings, or a tossed-off comment unfairly exaggerated? Couples, begin your own arguments now. However you feel about it, the adjective makes Steph violently angry — “Throw the fish in the toilet again,” Greg tells her, “it’s not like I’m going to be surprised!” She also retaliates verbally, with a public recitation of an excruciatingly detailed list of Greg’s physical flaws. It’s funny stuff if crazed meltdowns and savage insults make you laugh; or a bitter reminder of relationship-ending fights if, like me, you’ve survived a few you’d rather forget. Reasons goes along like that, stripping away layers of brittle relationships between lovers and friends. Maria Mileaf’s lean, muscular production, framed in gray (of course — nothing is black and white) by Vince Mountain’s set, gut-punches the romance and loyalty out of us. Kent’s boasting and cheating, Carly’s manipulation and neediness and Steph’s vivid mood swings give us little to admire, but like highway rubberneckers, we can’t look away. Only sad-sack Greg shows glimmers of progress — an anomalous ray of hope in LaBute’s work that’s criminally overemphasized in

Mileaf’s drawn-out final moments, which turn Greg into a self-realized hero. It’s unconvincing: If any of LaBute’s characters ever grow up, it’s not going to be that easy. Through June 24, $46-$59, Suzanne Roberts Theatre, 480 S. Broad St., 215-985-0420, philadelphiatheatrecompany.org. —Mark Cofta

³ WHAT’S THE WEIRDEST possible premise for a musical? I would have said the forcible opening of Japan to American trade interests in Sondheim’s Pacific Overtures, but then I saw Tulipomania. Michael Ogborn’s musical, loosely based on history, explores the Dutch tulip craze of the 1630s, during which wild enthusiasm for the flowers and their bulbs — in particular, a rare variegated variety called Semper Augustus — sent prices soaring and caused what’s been referred to as the world’s first speculative economic bubble. A teensy-but-entertaining cabaret piece might be made of this, but composer/lyricist/librettist Ogborn is aiming bigger: Tulipomania aspires to be a kind of Brechtian moral fable about greed and politics. This would, however, require cogent, thematically rich writing. Instead, we get a parade of twee, by-the-numbers songs in dizzyingly incompatible styles, only fitfully reminding us that Ogborn has previously exhibited real talent. The show also is mystifyingly framed as a play-within-a-play in which the denizens of an Amsterdam pot bar play all the characters — a confusing conceit that apparently was added during Tulipomania’s long development process. (The Arden commissioned the musical in 2005 — you’d think in the seven years it took to get to the stage, somebody might have realized all was not well.) To the Arden’s credit, they’ve mounted the show with style, and cast it with an ensemble far better than it deserves. In particular, Jeff Coon, playing the bar owner/narrator (a la the Engineer in Miss Saigon — one of many ideas Ogden appropriates from other, better musicals) dispenses golden tone and boyish charm by the bucketful. Let’s hope Ogden stops before venturing deeper into the canon of Dutch historical fantasy (anyone for The Holey Dike Debacle of 1431? The Great Gouda Famine?). Meanwhile, if it’s tulips you’re looking for, stick to Longwood Gardens. Through July 1, $34-$45, Arden Theatre Company, 40 N. Second St., 215-922-1122, arden—David Anthony Fox theatre.org.

A parade of twee songs in incompatible styles.

³ EGOPO’S JEWISH-THEMED 2011-2012 season has already seen productions of The Diary of Anne Frank and The Golem.The third and last play, A Dybbuk, is the only one not set during the Holocaust, and it’s arguably the most Jewish of the three. The play, written by S. Ansky in 1914, is a mystical love story. Or a romantic ghost story. Or a religious rumination combining

[ arts & entertainment ]

earthly and supernatural forces. Both Tony Kushner’s 1997 adaptation and artistic director Lane Savadove’s production (Philadelphia’s first) make A Dybbuk feel distinctly modern despite its early-1900s Ukrainian setting, exploring gender division and sexual repression as well as questions of commitment and fate. Robert DaPonte plays Chonen, an obsessive Kabbalah student longing for Leah (Rachel Kitson), a rich man’s daughter promised to another. The Talmud “can lift you to God in slow and sure steps,” the students learn, but Chonen’s idea that sin comes from God and is therefore godly becomes a dangerous shortcut. Not even Chonen’s death can keep him away from Leah: At her wedding, his spirit, the titular dybbuk (Yiddish for a malevolent spirit that possesses a living person), takes over the bride’s body, and mystic rabbi Azriel (David Blatt) must perform an exorcism. The first act develops slowly — the word “dybbuk” isn’t even uttered until the second hour. But it builds to a stunning crescendo of broad comedy and brewing crisis as four students (Julian Cloud, Peter Andrew Danzig, Harrison Lampert and Josh Totora, all brilliantly costumed by Katherine Fritz) play multiple roles at the wedding. Afterward, A Dybbuk’s tone turns melodramatic and fantastic as Azriel battles for Leah’s soul. Matt Sharp’s eerie lighting and sound effects transform Matheus Fiuza’s earthy set, though the most effective horror emits from the combination of DaPonte and Kitson as the possessed Leah. This most Jewish of plays is surprisingly accessible, though a quick study of the program’s glossary beforehand is helpful. These themes apply to many faiths, and the story proves as universally entertaining as those of other quality, semi-mystical fantasies like Lord of the Rings and Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Through June 17, $20-$50, Prince Theater, 1412 Chestnut St., 800-5954TIX, egopo.org. —Mark Cofta A Dybbuk

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AZUKA

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AUTHORIAL VOICE ³ WHEN SERGIO DE La Pava’s A Naked Singularity (University

[ arts & entertainment ]

by the success of Jonathan Littel’s merely plausible The Kindly Ones. He succumbs to (then immediately rejects) the temptations of fiction: “The people that took part in this story are not characters,� he writes. “And if they become characters because of me, I don’t wish to treat them like that.� That insistence is the crucial point, not only for the narrator’s scruples but for the novel itself. Among the many things HHhH does — retelling a forgotten episode, dramatizing its own creation, examining the boundary between truth and fiction — the most vital is its moral dimension. By making a historian’s argument for the singularity of its characters (or, rather, its people), HHhH opposes instrumentalizing history, not just in crass Holocaust kitsch like Angel at the Fence, but even in higher-minded stuff like Littell’s book. The novelist in HHhH is easily identifiable as an invented character, but that doesn’t invalidate that character’s belief in the integrity of his historical people, for whom fiction would be an affront — “like fabricating evidence,� he says, “where the floor is already strewn with incriminating evidence.� (j_bauer @citypaper.net)

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of Chicago, April 19) takes off, it’s nearly impossible not to get swept up in the sheer giddy volume of wordplay. And because of all the ways he dazzles and distracts, it’s not until you’ve put his book down that you can begin piecing together quite what he’s saying. Singularity could be a buddy comedy about a heist, or it could be a polemic about the capricious miscarriage of justice in America. Most likely it’s both, with some media criticism, a biography of box-

ing great Wilfred Benitez and hallucinatory interludes featuring menacing chimps and maybe Ralph Kramden thrown in. But above all it’s a masterpiece of riffs, specifically the hotbreathed blather of the underachieving and overstimulated. “Do you really think I’ve been snookered? Someone as sapient as me? I don’t buy the Nikes because I’ve been deluded into thinking they’re going to make me jump higher or make me look cooler,â€? a neighbor asserts, justifying his decision to watch a channel devoted entirely to ads. “I buy them to express my gratitude to Television. I buy all those things shown on the screen to allay the guilt I feel over not repaying a dear friend who has given me so much.â€? De La Pava knows his strengths and shamelessly plays to them. His talent for conversation recalls William Gaddis’s disorienting dialogue, but for De La Pava, it’s just one toy in a full sandbox, easily swapped for direct address or magical realism. Even his single bio line (“a writer who does not live in Brooklynâ€? — that is, one who should not be mistaken for his Brooklyn Heights-dwelling main character, Casi, nor lumped in with the Gessens, Lethems and Foers) is the coy wink of someone getting away with something. But for all of the exuberance of Singularity, it’s still more striking when Laurent Binet, early in HHhH (Farrar, Straus and Giroux, May 1), earnestly begins tossing toys out of his own sandbox. He begins by rejecting suspense, setting out the historical facts of his story: He’s writing about Operation Anthropoid, in which Jozef GabcĂ­k and Jan KubiĹĄ parachuted into occupied Czechoslovakia to assassinate Final Solution architect Reinhard Heydrich in May of 1942. At the same time Binet recounts this story, he sets up a parallel storyline dramatizing his struggle to create a novel that’s scrupulously faithful to history. The Czech assassination is thrilling, heroic, larger than life; the Binet telling us the story is funny, engaging and increasingly neurotic — chagrined to discover this story has already inspired a handful of other novels and driven competitively batty

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Eli Zoller, Jason Yachanin and Christopher Sutton. Photo by Mark Garvin.

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Arts&Culture. It’s How We GROW.® Last month, the Black Pearl Chamber Orchestra held a special pop-up concert at Suburban Station. PECO and the Cultural Alliance are proud to support the Black Pearl Chamber Orchestra’s iConduct concert series, which puts the power of the baton in the hands of the people. And, after starting off with lead conductor Dan O’Connell, Supervisor in Customer Response at PECO, it was morning commuters who got to do the conducting. Find out how you too can feel the thrill of conducting a full orchestra at phillyfunguide.com/iconduct. For more information about how Arts&Culture is making our communities and our lives better, visit philaculture.org.

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Did you catch it during your morning commute?

IT TAKES TWO Philly improv stalwarts Kristen and Amie get deep. By Ryan Carey

P

hiladelphia’s improv scene boasts tons of hilarious teams and exciting events, including this week’s Duofest, an international festival that draws improv duos from all over North America. There are a lot of reasons to check it out this year, including the nationally touring SCRAM , which features Minneapolis comedian Jill Bernard and Chicago’s Joe Bill. There’s also Twinprov, the mind-blowing music improv of identical twins Buck and Clint Vrazel, who recently performed their freestyle raps at a TED conference. But if there’s one group that seems to steal the show every time, it’s Philly’s own The Amie and Kristen Show. Often regarded as one of the town’s best improv teams, Amie Roe and Kristen Schier are an impossibly hilarious duo who breathe life into every scene with silliness, generosity and a profound simplicity that shines through their often technically demanding creations. This week, they sat down to share their funny formula and talk about the challenges that stem from working in twos.

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City Paper: When it comes to Philly improv, duos seem to be the very funniest. Is there something in the water here, or is “two” the funniest number everywhere? Kristen Schier: No matter what form you’re doing — whether it’s eight people on stage or two — at the heart of improv is the two-person scene. In a duo you work so closely with someone you sought out for their sensibilities, [so] there’s the opportunity for a little more connection, a little more risk-taking.

P H I L LY I M P R O V T H E A T E R

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[ comedy ]

Kristen Schier and Amie Roe

CP: What are your comedy goals at the moment? Amie Roe: Through the process of doing the show we’ve both matured a lot as players, so one thing we’re challenging ourselves to do is revisit the playfulness that we had when we first started, and kind of marry that to the poise, maturity and patience we’ve developed since. Career-wise, we’re just thrilled and excited to be receiving invitations to go to other cities to perform and teach.

CP: Is there a sort of Peter Pan “I don’t want to grow up” thing required to be a good improviser? KS: An improviser is at his or her best when they’re playful and imaginative. There is a very childlike element to the whole thing that I absolutely love. But hopefully it’s childlike and not childish. They’re not brats. They might play a brat very well on stage, but as performers they’re not selfish or self-centered. It comes down to that check mark on your kindergarten report card that says “Plays Well with Others.” People need to remember that in a lot of different fields. CP: Amie, you’re a therapist for kids who suffer from PTSD. Does

your therapy and your improv inform each other? AR: Absolutely. Even when you’re working with a child, I believe it’s [a combination of ] relationship and the back and forth that … is responsible for healing. If my therapist brain has taught me anything about improv, it’s to listen to the process of what’s happening onstage — not just the content of what’s happening, but to listen on a deeper level.

[ arts & entertainment ]

What are the other presences, the emotions and feelings, what’s the unspoken that’s present in the scene? CP: Sounds like there’s a spiritual ele-

ment to improvisation. KS: I do think it takes a lot of faith to improvise, because you have to commit to something really strongly before you know where it’s going. That happens from the moment you step on stage. But also, in one of your partner’s offers, you might think, “What the hell did they just do? Why are they saying that? Who is this character? I don’t understand why that’s even funny?” What you have to do is … have faith and trust your partner even though you can’t see the end result. That’s baseline, but in terms of a spiritual experience, I feel like improv makes you a better person … because you’re in a position where you have to respect someone else’s ideas and support them. You have to make room to understand other people a little bit better. (ryan.carey@citypaper.net) ✚ Duofest runs Thu-Sun., June 7-10, various times, $10-$50 (for weekend pass), Shubin Theatre, 407 Bainbridge St., duofest.com.

[ arts & entertainment ]

Janet Anderson on Dance

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³ THE PENNSYLVANIA BALLET closed out its performing season with a dance banquet centered around N.Y. Export: Opus Jazz, a tennisshoe ballet choreographed by Jerome Robbins back in 1958. The Robbins piece, never before seen here, was the main course, but the hors d’oeuvres were just as outstanding: Beside Them, They Dwell, by Matthew Neenan, and The Barber Violin Concerto, choreographed by Peter Martins of NY City Ballet, which opened the show. Martins’ choreography was elegantly simple, a fine fit for the concerto that provided the musical accompaniment for Lauren Fadeley partnered with Jong Suk Park, and Barette Vance Widell dancing with Alex Ratcliffe-Lee. Violinist Luigi Mazzocchi earned a huge ovation. Perhaps the most delicious of the appetizers was the contribution of the ballet’s resident choreographer, Matthew Neenan, set to music by Pierre Boulez. This dance abstraction was polished and fascinating thanks to Neenan’s superb skill at entangling odd gestures, weird reactions and unusual partnerships. Somehow

2011-2012 Music Series

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BESIDE MYSELF

he makes it all come together in a way that’s fascinating and even a bit grand. Amy Aldridge, tall and lean, was paired with Ian Hussey, who seemed to grow 10 inches partnering her. Lauren Fadeley and Jermel Johnson were excellent, as were Evelyn Kocak, Alexander Peters and Daniel Cooper. All of which led us to the 1950s and N.Y. Export: Opus Jazz. Here came the ladies with ponytails, sneakers and circle skirts, plus a little bit of pushing and shoving a la West Side Story. The music was bebop, and it was hard not to tap out the tempo. Looking around the audience, there was an unusual amount of clapping and headbobbing — most of the audience probably remembered well their own days of tennies and circle skirts. Thu., May 31, Merriam Theater. (j_anderson@citypaper.net)

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Five lucky winners will receive a ‘THAT’S MY BOY’ prize pack! THIS FILM IS RATED R. Must be 17 or older to enter contest and attend screening. Please note: Passes received through this promotion do not guarantee you a seat at the theatre. Seating is on a ďŹ rst come, ďŹ rst served basis, except for members of the reviewing press. Theatre is overbooked to ensure a full house. No admittance once screening has begun. All federal, state and local regulations apply. A recipient of tickets assumes any and all risks related to use of ticket, and accepts any restrictions required by ticket provider. Sony, all promo partners and their afďŹ liates accept no responsibility or liability in connection with any loss or accident incurred in connection with use of a prize. Tickets cannot be exchanged, transferred or redeemed for cash, in whole or in part. We are not responsible if, for any reason, winner is unable to use his/her ticket in whole or in part. Not responsible for lost, delayed or misdirected entries. All federal and local taxes are the responsibility of the winner. Void where prohibited by law. No purchase necessary. Participating sponsors, their employees & family members and their agencies are not eligible. NO PHONE CALLS!

IN THEATERS JUNE 15 www.ThatsMyBoy-Movie.com

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FOR YOUR CHANCE TO WIN TICKETS TO AN ADVANCE SCREENING OF THE FILM, LOG ON TO WWW.CITYPAPER.NET/WIN

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Show us your Philly.

Peave, Love and Misunderstanding

NEW BEL AMI|C

MADAGASCAR 3: EUROPE’S MOST WANTED|D The latest in the Madagascar franchise proves Dreamworks is still struggling to clear the lofty bar established by Pixar. It picks up in Monte Carlo as the pack of zoo crea-

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ROLLING STONE

“Hilarious and Heartfelt!

An enchanted ride of a movie.” PETER TRAVERS

MOONRISE KINGDOM|A Read Michael Gold’s review on p. 15. (Ritz East)

Directed by

Wes Anderson

PEACE, LOVE & MISUNDERSTANDING|BA mellow romantic comedy about love and war across three generations, Peace, Love & Misunderstanding is as comfortable as an old blanket — and about as threadbare. Diane (Catherine Keener) is an uptight New York City lawyer who has just been asked for a divorce. She takes her teens Jake (Nat Wolff), a budding documentary filmmaker, and Zoe (Elizabeth Olsen), a rabid vegetarian, to her mother Grace’s (Jane Fonda) upstate ranch where chickens live inside and pot grows in the basement. Diane and Grace haven’t spoken in 20 years, but Grace tries easing the tension by introducing Diane to Jude (Jeffrey Dean Morgan), a handsome local carpenter who likes skinny-dipping and singing in public. Zoe is attracted/repulsed by Cole (Chace Crawford), a butcher who reads Whitman, and Jake becomes smitten with local teen Tara (Marissa O’Donnell). There are no

Written by

Wes Anderson & Roman Coppola

#MoonriseKingdom

In Select Theatres

Friday, June 8

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NEW JERSEY

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RAVE MOTION PICTURES

Center City 215-925-7900

Voorhees 856-783-2726

RITZ EAST

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RITZ CENTER 16

PRINCETON GARDEN THEATRE Princeton 683-7595

P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R | J U N E 7 - J U N E 1 3 , 2 0 1 2 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T | 23

There’s a feral quality lurking beneath the surface of Robert Pattinson’s smoldering prettiness. It would have made him the perfect choice for a centuries-old vampire living in a young man’s body if the Twilight series had anything on its mind other than making tween girls swoon, and he would seem the ideal actor to portray Guy de Maupassant’s social-climbing rogue Georges Duroy if this latest adaptation of Bel Ami conceived him as a character rather than a series of machinations. (If the point is simply to have Pattinson leering under a top hat, just go ahead and cast him as Dorian Gray, already.) But Declan Donnellan and Nick Ormerod have concocted a film as banal and hollow as Duroy himself. The obviousness of their direction is exposed at the outset, as Duroy stands outside a luxurious restaurant, staring in. The penniless ex-soldier gains entrée to Paris society through a journalist acquaintance and, spurned by the men he encounters, he manipulates the women, embarking on a series of advantageous affairs. Pattinson displays Duroy’s appetites as broadly as a Tex Avery wolf, his perpetual sneer expressing both lust for power and disdain for those he’s surpassed. His performance suggests a campier approach, especially in his scenes with Uma Thurman as a lover whose intelligence reduces him to childish physical impulse. Unfortunately, nothing else in this pedestrian period piece has the wit to follow up on that suggestion. —Shaun Brady (Ritz at the Bourse)

tures, led by Ben Stiller’s Alex the Lion, return to New York, where they meet a pack of circus animals and get chased around by a wacky animal-control agent voiced by Frances McDormand (who also stars in this week’s Moonrise Kingdom). Pacing, character development and story are poop-scooped in favor of predictable old-Warner-cartoonsstyle antics, and screenwriter Noah Baumbach’s attempts at humor come across as dated pop-cultural-referencing bombs. Veteran actors Bryan Cranston, Martin Short and Jessica Chastain add little with their voicing efforts, while Chris Rock’s Marty the Zebra is the most grating thing this side of the Sahara. The little ones may find amusement in the film’s hyperactive shenanigans, but you’ll want to shoot yourself with a tranquilizer gun. —Andrew Wimer (Pearl)

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surprises regarding how relationship misunderstandings play out, but despite its predictability, Peace, Love & Misunderstanding is mostly pleasing. Fonda shines brightest in her role, dispensing folksy wisdom and healing crystals — even if the film itself only generates a contact high. —Gary M. Kramer (Ritz at the Bourse)

PROMETHEUS Read Sam Adams’ review at citypaper. net/movies. (Pearl)

CONTINUING THE AVENGERS|B+

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Knotting together storylines from nearly a decade of individual hero movies, The Avengers is Marvel property at its most decadent, with S.H.I.E.L.D. head Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson) coaxing lone wolves like Iron Man (Robert Downey Jr.), Captain America (Chris Evans) and the Hulk (Mark Ruffalo) into crewing up to protect Earth from Loki (Tom Hiddleston), whose evil intentions were outlined meekly in last year’s craptastic Thor. Some personalities are naturally heftier than others, but director Joss Whedon levels the disparity via dialogue, even managing to work in a few zingers for the naturally humorless God of Thunder (Chris Hemsworth). Such super-humanizing, however cursory, makes The Avengers’ string of red-blooded action sequences that much easier to cheer for. —Drew Lazor (Pearl)

BATTLESHIP|CThe dull board game that inspired this Rihanna-augmented microwave dinner of a movie is nodded at but not overworked, and for the most part Battleship’s battle scenes are lithe and snappy. The more painful sequences involve the insincere stroking of the armed forces. Director Peter Berg-cast combat vet Colonel Gregory D. Gadson, who lost both his legs in Operation Iraqi Freedom, and who is relegated to bad cyborg jokes and Greco-Roman wrestling with a CGI spaceman. And while the director has said he’s honoring the elderly sailors he carts out for a sequence aboard the USS Missouri, it comes off as more of a patronizing pat on the head than a respectful salute. Real-life heroes, and not ones played by pretty boys with prettier hair, deserve a little better. —D.L. (Pearl) THE BEST EXOTIC MARIGOLD HOTEL|C There is an undeniable appeal to gathering this many high-caliber veteran British thespians in one place and letting them just go about being charming to one another. Judi Dench is a widow in search of a life, Tom

Wilkinson is a retired judge rediscovering his past, Maggie Smith is a bigot in need of an operation, and Bill Nighy and Penelope Wilton are a constantly sparring married couple. They all end up at the same rundown hotel in India, where a colorful backdrop and strange food offer resolutions to each of their stories — which are not in any way exotic. The scenery is picturesque, each actor has his or her share of moments, but there’s not much here you couldn’t find on a tour bus full of retirees. —S.B. (Bryn Mawr Film Institute, Ritz Five)

CHERNOBYL DIARIES|C Shot by first-timer Bradley Parker in that sterile, observational style popularized by Peli’s Paranormal Activity franchise, the movie follows Americans Chris (singer Jesse McCartney), Natalie (Olivia Taylor Dudley) and Amanda (Devin Kelley) as they travel to Kiev, where they embark on an “extreme” tour of Prypiat, the creeped-out atomgrad evacuated after the Chernobyl meltdown in 1986. By nightfall, ex-Special Forces tour guide Uri (Dimitri Diatchenko) realizes his van is inoperable, placing the group in grave radioactive danger. Atmospherics is Diaries’ strongest suit. And while it’s not worthy of a full complimentary smooch, the movie does an adequate job avoiding insensitive chatter about body counts. It’s the wound-up characters, uneven scares and lazy bones conclusion that end up holding this unorthodox creature feature back. —D.L. (Pearl) DARK SHADOWS|CAfter being unearthed by a construction crew, Barnabas Collins’ (Johnny Depp) entry into modernity is heavy on this-modern-life gags — hardy har,

ELLES|BThe NC-17-rated Elles is about sex, and it features it graphically, but it’s not sexy. This mostly engaging story concerns Anne (Juliette Binoche), an ELLE magazine freelance writer interviewing female students who work as escorts. Working on the story “changes” her. Is Anne’s husband likely to be one of Lola’s clients? Does Anne overstep her bounds with the girls? Elles forcibly suggests these questions. This glossy film makes mostly familiar points about power, control and how women are exploited. More affecting is the sadness Anne feels about her life as she develops empathy for the girls and tries to instill the same values in her kids. Her empowerment is the key to the film, and the luminous Binoche’s fearless performance makes viewers care for her. —G.M.K. (Roxy) THE FAIRY|BLanky Belgian comedy duo Dominique Abel and Fiona Gordon reteam with director Bruno Romy for their third goofball romp, this time set in the industrial seaport town of Le Havre, France. Abel is Dom, a mopey chap who lives a life of no real significance. Every evening he pedals his beat-up bike to a lousy hotel job, where he chomps on drippy ketchup sandwiches and slugs through his few duties as the outfit’s only late-night employee. His world gets rosier, however, when Fiona (Gordon), who basically looks like Abel in a ginger wig, shuffles in claiming to be his special fairy. The two fall helplessly in love, setting off on a series of whimsical hijinks. There is some conflict here, but for the most part, any semblance of a plot is danced around by one drawn-out slapstick routine after another. It’s hard to hate on these knuckleheads, but one does start to wish for an ounce of get-to-thepoint a little over halfway in. —Josh Middleton (Ritz at the Bourse) FOR GREATER GLORY|C-

he doesn’t know what McDonald’s is and thinks Alice Cooper is a woman. Depp’s Barnabas is more scrappy and humorous than Jonathan Frid’s TV original, but the flappy trappings of the love triangle between he, Victoria and Angelique temper any real exploration of the character, comical or not. Director Tim Burton treats Chloe Grace Moretz, Michelle Pfeiffer and Jackie Earle Haley, all great actors with something to contribute, as afterthoughts, too wrapped up in his own brand to let the right film in. —D.L. (Roxy)

The Cristero War, a three-year battle over religious freedom in post-revolutionary 1920s Mexico, is a littleknown chapter in history. For Greater Glory may remedy that fact, but Dean Wright’s film has little interest in creating a factual record of the war itself. Wright, a longtime visual-effects producer, aims for the epic with a hefty cast of characters, multiple storylines and guns-blazing battles. The end result is more cluttered than grand, however, with types in search of characters and enough slow-motion horseback bullet hits to make Sam Peckinpah roll his eyes. Andy Garcia is the reluctant hero, an atheist general whose conversion to the faith is brought about less by events than by the inevitability of plot; he fights alongside a ragtag band of

archetypes, the most egregious being a devoted young boy put through Passion of the Christ-level tortures in the film’s lust for martyrdom. —S.B.

HIGH SCHOOL|D Whip-smart senior Henry Burke (Matt Bush) has everything planned out — graduate as valedictorian, then start college at MIT in the fall. A chance reconnection with childhood friend and class stoner Travis Breaux (Sean Marquette) results in Henry taking his very first hit of weed — no big deal, until McCarthyite principal Dr. Gordon (Michael Chiklis) announces school-wide drug testing after his spelling bee star is caught with pot. Henry and Travis’ plan — to spike the bake sale with hyper-potent product stolen from dealer Psycho Ed (Adrien Brody), with the hopes of the entire school flunking the screening — is actually a premise wacky and original enough to veer off in any comedic or dramatic direction, but director John Stalberg squanders the opportunity, chasing only the easiest jokes. Bush’s timid overachiever is strong and likeable, but Marquette’s part is painfully written, and a concluding bit that plays sexual assault for laughs ends things on a terrible note. —D.L.

HYSTERIA|CDedicated physician Mortimer Granville (Hugh Dancy) believes in germs and science, making him essentially unemployable in late-19th-century England. Unwilling to adopt primitive practices, he gets a lucky break from a posh doctor specializing in curing “hysteria.” It’s a catch-all term encompassing general women’s anxieties, for which Granville’s mentor has a proven cure: manually stimulated orgasms. Such annoyingly winking attempts at ribaldry are sidelined by an all-tooobvious love affair between Granville and Maggie Gyllenhaal’s out-of-place feminist Charlotte. While Gyllenhaal makes her character a spunky foil to the prim Granville, her clumsy political diversions suddenly supplant the movie’s focus on a budding sexual revolution. O-faces and vibrators frustratingly vanish into the background, and what’s left is a dalliance that’s unsatisfyingly familiar. —M.G.

I WISH|B Hirokazu Kore-eda’s winsome I Wish is a film of small and fleeting pleasures passing like a high-speed train. It follows two brothers, separated by divorce, who scheme to reunite, eventually settling on a superstition that any wish will be granted if made at the precise moment that two bullet trains pass each other. As they live at opposite ends of the line, both set out for its geographical midpoint, trying

[ movie shorts ]

to fix a fleeting instant in time. They know, at least, that their childhood is running out, ending as slowly as their parents’ marriage ended abruptly, and they don’t want their lives to run on separate tracks. I Wish provides a provisional happy ending to the brothers’ quest, but not far under its surface is a sense that life’s flavors, the keen as well as the faint, must always be savored quickly, lest they pass away for good. —Sam Adams

THE INTOUCHABLES|B In The Intouchables, an unlikely bromance blooms between a blue-blooded quadriplegic and an ex-convict who becomes his caretaker. The latter is of Senegalese descent, but can race or class lines deter their improbable bond? Of course not. The film did sensationally at the box office in its native France this past winter, which begs the question: Do the French have a thing for romanticizing the black help, too? The Intouchables doesn’t rely on the kindness of the obsequious to justify the friendship — the leads vibe as men who have lived life on the edge and still enjoy taking chances. This connection morphs into a shared penchant for meddling; they push each other’s buttons but all is made well with a little boogie time to Earth, Wind and Fire. Yes, the black caretaker jams to funk throughout the film. I guess the French have adopted that trope, too. —Cassie Owens (Ritz Five)

MEN IN BLACK 3|CIt’s been 10 years since the last Men in Black film hit screens, just about enough time in the summer popcorn environment for audiences to forget just how wretched the last sequel was. This second sequel feels like a regrouping on Will Smith’s part, a return to a popular role after a four-year absence following the audacious suicide-by-jellyfish misfire Seven Pounds. He apparently hasn’t shaken his loftier dramatic ambitions, however, as the series takes an unexpected and ill-advised turn towards pathos. Instead of simply repeating the mixture of sci-fi and comedy that made the first film a success, Smith’s Agent J sets off in search of a backstory for his partner, the tragic event that turned Tommy Lee Jones’ Agent K into a taciturn grouch. The plot turns convoluted but shallow, jettisoning alien jokes for a tearjerker finale that contradicts what we know from the first film — but you’ve forgotten that by now, right? —S.B. (Pearl) MONSIEUR LAZHAR|A Monsieur Lazhar opens with kids

AMBLER THEATER WE HAVE A POPE|B+ Dr. Bruzzi arrives at the Vatican to treat Cardinal Melville (Michel Piccoli), the newly elected Pope who’s suffering an unexpected crisis of confidence. When Melville escapes into the outside world, Bruzzi devises a new, fairer way to conduct an election with a volleyball tournament. The preposterousness of this approach only makes clear the general preposterousness of electing a pontiff. But if everyone else turns increasingly silly, Melville, pretending to be an actor, has a revelation: The Church, the politics and the public presentations are indeed acting. The irony, the film asserts, is that coming to this honest appraisal makes Melville both better suited and less able to serve the faithful. —Cindy Fuchs

WHERE DO WE GO NOW?|B-

THE AWESOME FEST PhilaMOCA, 531 N. 12th St., 267519-9651, theawesomefest.com. No Room for Rockstars (2012, U.S., 103 min.): Three-hundred hours of footage was culled from the 2010 Warped Tour to create this story that covers everyone from the huge acts to the kids playing parking lots. Sat., June 9, 8:30 p.m., free.

THE BALCONY 1003 Arch St., 215-922-6888, thetroc. com. A Night of Short Films: A showcase of flicks by local filmmakers, including “OUT FOR VENGEANCE,”

824 W. Lancaster Ave., Bryn Mawr, 610-527-9898, brynmawrfilm.org. Queen of the Sun: What Are the Bees Telling Us? (2010, U.S., 83

min.): The fragile balance between mankind and nature is explored through bee-colony collapse disorder. Mon., June 11, 7:30 p.m., $10-$30. Die Hard (1988, U.S., 131 min.): Bruce Willis’s NYPD cop takes down terrorists while making wisecracks in a Los Angeles skyscraper on Christmas. Tue., June 12, 7 p.m., $10.

COUNTY THEATER 20 E. State St., Doylestown, 215-3456789, countytheater.org. Spellbound (1956, U.S., 98 min.): Featuring a Dalí-inspired dream sequence, this Hitchcockian thriller follows a psychoanalyst as he falls for a potentially murderous amnesia patient. Tue., June 12, 7 p.m., $6-$10.75.

NOMAD PIZZA 611 S. 7th St., 215-238-0900, nomadpizzaco.com. North by Northwest (1959, U.S., 136 min.): Cary Grant plays an executive led on a chase across America when mistaken for a government official by spies. Wed., June 13, 8 p.m., free.

REELABILTIES

CINEMATHEQUE INTERNATIONALE OF PHILADELPHIA

Various venues, jfcsphilly.org. The

L’Etage, 624 S. Sixth St., cinemathequeip.com. Veiled Voices (2009, Syria, 59 min.): Three female Islamic leaders are examined through their families, communities, public lives and the troubles they face. The screening will be attended by filmmaker Brigid Maher. Sun., June 10, 7 p.m., $8.

COLONIAL THEATRE 227 Bridge St., Phoenixville, 610-9171228, thecolonialtheatre.com. Love in the Afternoon (1957, U.S., 130 min.): An old-fashioned rom-com featuring Gary Cooper as a swinger pursuing Audrey Hepburn in a role he was criticized for being too old to play. Sun., June 10, 2 p.m., $5-$8. Italian AllNight Splatter Fest: A night of rarely screened Italian gore features, including Nightmare, Grim Reaper and the zombie-tastic City of the Walking Dead. Sat., June 9, 7 p.m., $20.

Straight Line (2011, France, 98 min.):

A mother released from prison becomes a coach for a blind runner. With guest speaker Richard Bernstein. Thu., June 7, 7 p.m., $10. Warrior Champions (2009, U.S., 80 min.): Permanently injured Iraq War veterans fight their way into the Olympics. Fri., June 8, 1 p.m., free. Mary & Max (2009, Australia, 92 min.): A heartbreaking claymation featuring a young Australian girl who becomes pen pals with a NYC man with Asperger’s. Sun., June 10, 4 p.m., $18.

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Nadine Labaki’s Where Do We Go Now? is set in a tiny village that consists of two communities, Christian and Muslim, living in close proximity with an uneasy peace. The men are trapped in an unending cycle of violence, so the women take it upon themselves to manipulate their sons and husbands into

108 E. Butler Ave., Ambler, 215-3457855, amblertheater.org. Forbidden Planet (1956, U.S., 98 min.): Leslie Nielsen, playing it straight, captains a ship to a distant planet and finds the remnants of a lost civilization. Thu., June 7, 7 p.m., $6-$10.75. Brazil (1985, U.S., 142 min.): Jonathan Pryce plays a pencil-pusher wrongly accused of being an enemy of the state in this absurd, darkly comedic take on dystopian future stories. Mon., June 11, 7 p.m., $5-$9.75.

BRYN MAWR FILM INSTITUTE

[ movie shorts ]

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Kristen Stewart’s princess is a girl of destiny, born to a queen inspired by the resiliency of a red rose she discovers blossoming in the winter cold. But mom dies and decent-but-dumb dad falls for a ploy allowing the sadistic Ravenna (Charlize Theron) to gut him and steal his throne. Obsessed with her youth, Ravenna locks her quite-fair rival in a tower as she consumes the souls of PYTs to maintain the flawless-skin status quo. Director Rupert Sanders’ take on the classic goes edgy frequently, from scenes featuring characters tripping on hallucinogenic 'shrooms to Snow White donning Joan of Arc plate mail and swinging a blade in battle. It’s always been a property ripe for reimagining outside the Disney mold, but this particular redux has a pair of stinkbombs working against it: its two female stars. Stewart takes so few risks with her character that an impassioned third-act battle speech doubles as a

✚ REPERTORY FILM

“The Fairy Prince” and “Women in the Window.” Sun., June 10, 7:30 p.m., $6. Robocop (1987, U.S., 102 min.): A twisted corporation turns a murdered Detroit cop (played by already-robotic Peter Weller) into a crime-fighting cyborg. Mon., June 11, 8 p.m., $3.

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comedy routine. But she’s Meryl Streep compared to the uncharacteristic work turned in by Theron, whose screeching, bug-eyed overacting is less over-the-top than it is plain baffling. —D.L. (Pearl)

coexistence. A television, lugged into the only spot with any reception, proves a nightly distraction until a newscast brings unsettling stories of religious clashes on a wider scale, necessitating sabotage. As tensions mount, the ladies import a busload of Ukrainian strippers to counteract spiritual enmity with more earthly distractions. Labaki never settles on a single direction for the tale to take, however, and the tone remains as restive and unsure as life in the village. —S.B.

the naked city | feature

playing in a Montréal public-school yard only moments before 11-yearold Simon runs inside to discover his teacher hanging from the ceiling of her classroom. With her school thrown into an emotional tizzy, the principal hires the first pleasant face with a résumé to walk into her office, an Algerian transplant named Bachir Lazhar (Mohamed Fellag), who we soon discover is grappling with a heavy heart of his own. Weaving cinematic parallels between the emotional development of the teacher and his students, the film brings up a lot of real-world issues, but the real joy of it is in the classroom, where Fellag and a cast of talented ’tweens draw up a lesson plan about dealing with tragedy and finding that glowing exit sign at the end of a dark hall. —J.M. (Ritz Five)

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the

LISTINGS@CITYPAPER.NET | JUNE 7 - JUNE 13

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the agenda

[ a marked lack of crammed together consonants ]

NOT OF THIS WORLD: The Danzig Legacy tour stops by the Electric Factory tonight.

The Agenda is our selective guide to what’s going on in the city this week. For comprehensive event listings, visit citypaper.net/listings.

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Submit information by email (listings@citypaper.net) to Josh Middleton or enter them yourself at citypaper.net/submit-event with the following details: date, time, address of venue, telephone number and admission price. Incomplete submissions will not be considered, and listings information will not be accepted over the phone.

THURSDAY

6.7 [ rock ]

✚ DANZIG LEGACY No one has ever embodied the metal subculture quite like Glenn Danzig. He contains the entire high school experience of denim-jacket-clad loners in a single form: both the muscle-bound meathead and the doom-andgloom-obsessed Goth mumbler

he picks on. That central persona has been the core of three very different bands, all of which Danzig will revisit during this tour. First came the B-movie garage punk of the Misfits, followed by the brooding Hallows Eve ritual clatterings of Samhain. He lost the devilock for good to become a satanic Elvis under his own name, which also encompassed faux Carmina Burana orchestral experiments. He’ll pull from all 30-plus years of his catalog for this Legacy show, with the classic Samhain lineup back together and original Misfits guitarist Doyle Wolfgang Von Frankenstein (the only member with whom Danzig is willing to share a stage) on board to revisit the early years.

community troupe, now a rising professional theater company — ends its 100th anniversary season in Center City with Tom Stoppard’s Travesties. Set about a century ago in Zurich, Switzerland, this 1974 absurdist comedy dips into the distorted memory of real-life British diplomat Henry Carr (Tim Rinehart), who may have met James Joyce (Bob Stineman), Vladimir Lenin (Jim Ludovici) and Tristan Tzara (Eric Wunsch) while working on a production of Oscar Wilde’s The Importance of Being Earnest. Literature, art, politics and theater collide in this brilliantly warped farce, directed by Candace Cihocki.

—Shaun Brady

June 7-23, $20-$25, Plays & Players Theatre, 1714 Delancey Place, 800-5954TIX, playsandplayers.org.

Thu., June 7, 8 p.m., $39, with Samsara and Kyng, Electric Factory, 421 N. Seventh St., 215-627-1332, electricfactory.info.

—Mark Cofta

[ music/art ]

[ theater ]

✚ HEART & SOUL

✚ TRAVESTIES

The installation around a city of hundreds of fiberglass animal statues, identical but

Plays & Players — the longtime

for their custom paint jobs by various artists, was a weird, interesting move when Zurich had the first CowParade in 1998, but it’s been repeated so many times and ripped off/ localized by so many cities (guitars in Cleveland, elephants and donkeys in D.C., race cars in Indianapolis, buffalo in Buffalo, etc.) that the phenomenon has morphed into an often-hideous, municipal-art-for-tourists cliché. The University City District managed to come up with a nice twist on the trend, though: For Heart & Soul, they recruited some of Philly’s most distinctive artists to decorate eight pianos strewn around University City, from Clark Park to 30th Street Station to Locust Walk. The pianos are all playable and open to anyone wandering by, which adds a neat, interactive, musical aspect (though performances are likely to be 90 percent the first few bars of “Fur Elise,” “The Entertainer” and the project title). It’ll be interesting to see how the pianos sound when the

project ends on June 17. —Emily Guendelsberger June 7-17, free, various locations, universitycity.org/heart-soul.

[ theater ]

✚ AUTOMATIC FAULT ISOLATION Hella Fresh Theater creator John Rosenberg takes DIY pretty far with Automatic Fault Isolation, which he wrote, directed and acts in at Kensington’s Papermill Arts Collective’s 50-seat space. The first offering of his Hella Fresh Theater’s second season, AFI locks a Yankee middle-aged math tutor and aerospace engineer in a motel room with precocious Alabama teen Bretaigne (Anna Flynn-Meketon), with promises to let him “kiss you with my tongue and press against your chest.” She’s got other plans, though, leaving him exasperated: “You’re a parlor game,” he complains, but he can’t stop playing, even when exotic Sebastian (Sean Cummings)

invades their tryst. Rosenberg’s homemade aesthetic compliments his gritty, darkly humorous psychological dramas like last year’s Queen of All Weapons, and he’s not afraid of Big Issues: Automatic Fault Isolation explores the forced racial integration of Huntsville, Ala., via NASA’s mid-1960s space race in a claustrophobic, discomforting, tension-filled tale. —Mark Cofta Through June 24, 2 p.m., $10, Papermill Theater, 2825 Ormes St., 510-292-6403, hellafreshtheater.com.

FRIDAY

6.8 [ dance/jazz ]

✚ CROSS-RHYTHMS What do you get when you pair up tap, contemporary and classical Indian dancers?

[ jazz ]

✚ RAYA BRASS BAND

KATE DREW MILLER

The boisterous rhythms and inebriated horn bluster of the Raya Brass Band have all the swaggering, infectious bravado of a Balkan brass combo. On closer inspection, however,

Fri., June 8, 9 p.m., $10-$12, with West Philadelphia Orchestra, Johnny Brenda’s, 1201 N. Frankford Ave., 215739-9684, johnnybrendas.com.

[ opera ]

—Mary Armstrong

✚ DARK SISTERS The Opera Company of Philadelphia has made a brave commitment to new works in recent years, and the production this week of the young New York-based composer Nico Muhly’s Dark Sisters marks the auspicious, and not a little audacious, debut of OCP’s American Repertoire Program. Perhaps Muhly and his librettist, Stephen Karam, have no political agenda, but it is remarkable that their subject is the subjugation of young women in polygamist relationships at a time when a Mormon is a candidate for the U.S. presidency. Granted, the story involves a splinter group of the LDS, the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, but the association cannot be avoided. Regardless of the storyline, Muhly is a fascinating contemporary composer, and OCP has assembled a superb cast of singers. Let the sparks fly. —Peter Burwasser June 8-17, 8 p.m., $21-$132, Kimmel Center, 300 S. Broad St., 215-893-1018, operaphila.org.

[ folk/americana ]

“Fergie’s is where I learned to be comfortable and have fun on stage,” says former local music-scene fixture Dan Montgomery, explaining why no other place would do to celebrate this prodigal son’s visit home. Ten years ago he left Philly for love and music in Memphis. Things are still going strong there — witness the bandmates he’s bringing with him, Robert and Candace Maché. They will be joining forces with old pals from Del Pez, Mike Vogelmann (bass) and Joe Ankenbrand (drums). Montgomery reveals, “This will also be my first time headlining, or is it batting cleanup?” How ever you look at it, he is jazzed to be stretching out to two sets, the better to show off his originals, some re-

Fri., June 8, 10:30 p.m., Fergie’s, 1214 Sansom St., 215-928-8118, fergies.com.

[ music/art ]

✚ AIDS THRIFT EXPANSION PARTY The best thrift store in Philly doubled its space by moving around the corner at Fifth and Bainbridge streets, but the renovations have been expensive. They’re expanding again soon (3,500 more square feet of space in the same building), and since the $12,000 a month they raise from selling donations is earmarked for AIDS charities, they’re having a “Summer of Love” fundraiser to help with the costs. It’s not just a good cause, though — this looks like it’ll be a pretty excellent party in its own right, with a set by always-delightful pop glitterfiends Dangerous Ponies and more music from DJ Trans Am inside the giant, 3-D Zagar mosaic that is the Magic Gardens. —Emily Guendelsberger Fri., June 8, 5 p.m., $25-$50, Magic Gardens, 1020 South St., 215-9223186, phillyaidsthrift.com.

[ movies ]

✚ ULTRASONIC Ever wondered how Darren Aronovsky’s Pi might have been different had its main character not been a delusional mathematician but a delusional, say, Ben Gibbard? And had

taken the form of an X-Files episode directed by David Cronenberg? Rohit Colin Rao’s debut feature isn’t quite that film, but it’s close enough to put such odd speculation to rest. Shot in D.C., Ultrasonic’s thin storyline follows the frontman

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✚ DAN MONTGOMERY its members’ names betray a marked lack of crammed-together consonants and their builds seem more suited to a Brooklyn hipster bar than campfire caravan swilling. Yes, it’s another manifestation of young American musicians’ love affair with Eastern European horns, placing Raya alongside the likes of Slavic Soul Party and our own West Philadelphia Orchestra. The NYC quintet pulls the sound off with vigor, nailing the most important elements (i.e., those that force audiences to get up and move with the power of the eighth cocktail of the evening) while infusing their own wry humor and jazz influences, veering away from tradition for a dose of avant-sax blowing or basing a tune around a cell-

corded, some he’ll polish before your eyes, prepping them for a recording session this fall in New Orleans.

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Fri., June 8, 8 p.m., $20, The Performance Garage, 1515 Brandywine St., 215-569-4060, ruddydance.org.

—Shaun Brady

the agenda

—Deni Kasrel

[ the agenda ]

phone melody.

the naked city | feature | a&e

Intricate steps and spirited duets that prove disparate arts forms really can mix well in the sturdy hands (and feet) of adventurous performers. The roster for Cross-Rhythms includes tappers Michele Dunleavy, Germaine Ingram and Darrell Williams, plus contemporary dancer Leah Stein and Bharatanatyam dancer Suparna Banerjee, all of whom are into mixing and matching movement styles. Along with their innovative interplay, the evening features a restaging of Manhattan Tap’s lively “Scrapple from the Apple.” So it’s one thing old and lots of things new, accompanied by the sounds of the Jon Katz Quartet, a jazz outfit that’ll set the pace with original tunes and standards.

—Shaun Brady Opens Fri., June 8, Cinema 16:9, 35 N. Lansdowne Ave., Lansdowne, 484-4617676, cinema169.com.

inequality, Inliquid presents the 13th installment of Art for the Cash Poor — a weekend block party dedicated to affordable art. From the clothing of Orgotton (a mashup of “organic cotton”) to the dreamy etchings of Sheila Burstein, the event is the perfect place to track down a one-of-a-kind gift and support up-and-coming local artists — all without breaking the bank. An all-star music lineup will provide the tunes ORGOTTON

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of a struggling indie-rock band as he’s driven around the bend by a constant droning hum. His wife assumes tinnitus, but her conspiracy-crazed brother is convinced it’s the result of a clandestine government plot involving “psychotropic acoustics.” That concept promises something more Videodromian than musician-turned-director (and software engineer) Rao can deliver, and the result is competently stylish but ultimately a pale echo of its sources.

Artists are starving. Art collectors are billionaires. In an effort to reverse this age-old

at the main event, featuring local favorites The Downtown Club, New Brunswick rapper Wali Lundy and ambient/Ma-

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Preview party Fri., June 8, 5:30-8:30 p.m., $50; Sat-Sun., June 9-10, noon-6 p.m., free; Crane Arts Building, 1400 N. American St., 215-232-3203, inliquid.org.

SATURDAY

6.9 ✚ DRAKE

✚ ART FOR THE CASH POOR

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—Nina Willbach

[ hip-hop ]

[ art/shopping ]

trials and triumphs of his decidedly remarkable life with a humdrum, unremarkable emotional affect that somehow makes them scan as immediately, intimately relatable.

riachi/surf rockers Gringo Motel. If you need to catch some grub after all the jamming and art-collecting, a wide selection of Philly food trucks will be dishing out the delicacies.

For Aubrey Graham, hip-hop’s unlikeliest (and practically only) megastar, life rolls on: killing everybody in the game, a couple years running now;

—K. Ross Hoffman

getting “re-bar mitzvahed” (if — I think — only on camera); and, most currently, undertaking a massive tour that’s been virtually nonstop since Valentine’s Day and arrives here on Saturday complete with a formidable roster of secondtier rappers. As for Take Care, Drake’s casually monumental, stature-solidifying second LP, it remains not only compulsively listenable but subtly, viscerally immersive seven months down the line, its leisurely sprawl and sumptuous if unshowy textures framing his improbable knack for relating the

Sat., June 9, 7:30 p.m., $35.75$201.75, with Waka Flocka Flame, Meek Mill, 2 Chainz and French Montana, Susquehanna Bank Center, 1 Harbour Blvd., Camden, 800-7453000, livenation.com.

[ comedy ]

[ the agenda ]

room atop Stephen Starr’s new-wave dance club The Bank. Along with Nice doing his first standup comedy show at home in a thousand years on June 9 at the Clef Club, he’s doing something locally that will change how Philly remembers him: As a newly appointed BalletX trustee on the Wilma Theater’s board of

✚ CHUCK NICE To the world at large, Chuck Nice is a genial wise-ass comedian known for his appearances on VH1’s sorely missed Best Week Ever and the I Love the (fill in the decade) series, to say nothing of his smart slots as a commentator on MSNBC. Yet for locals over 35, Nice will always be the Philly native who got his start leading the karaoke

directors, he will hit up the BalletX gala on June 13 to sing the praises of risk-taking ballet. For a comedian who has made being

queerbait Josh Middleton on the LGBTQ scene

NEAL SANTOS

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From President Obama’s history-making thumbs-up for gay marriage to the subsequent wave of support from folks like Jay-Z and the writers of Marvel Comics (superhero Northstar will marry his boyfriend in the June 20 issue), allies have been coming out in droves to knock down barriers standing in the way of gay rights. So it’s only natural we persuade our hetero friends to attend Sunday’s Pride (phillypride.org) festivities. Here are the top five reasons they’d have a fabulous time: 5. Hot Dudes Galore: Whether they have a taste for the mellower, cleancut types on the sidelines or the half-naked beefcakes riding the floats, straight girls will have more than enough manmeat to ogle at the parade through Wash West — plus, these guys are full of compliments and they won’t try to bone them later. 4. Available Chicks: Behind every gay man is a young, vivacious fag hag looking for a straight man who will actually bone her later. 3. Fashion You Won’t Find in Vogue: Philly’s drag queens pull out all the style stops for Pride, transforming the city into a giant runway of dazzling gowns, luxurious locks and heels big enough to cradle a newborn babe. The chance you’ll have to face an annoying size 0? Practically nil. 2. Star Power: You can tell your friends you saw Wendy Williams, Cher, Tina Turner and Prince performing at the parade-concluding festival at Penn’s Landing. OK, the latter three are very convincing drag performers from the group Divas in a Man’s World, but Instagram pics tell lies. 1. We’re All Family:The more support we generate, the more likely we’ll be able to throw an even bigger bash in 2013. Go gays! (josh.middleton@citypaper.net)

the agenda

³ STRAIGHT TALK

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[ the agenda ]

Have an upcoming LGBTQ event? Give it here. E-mail listings@citypaper.net.

himself a steady job without a résumé full of dumb sitcoms and horrible films, Nice’s reputation just got nicer.

Comedy show, Sat., June 9, 7:30 p.m. and 10 p.m., $24.50, Philadelphia Clef Club, 738 S. Broad St., 215-893-9912, ticketleap.com; BalletX&O Party, Wed., June 13, 6 p.m., $75-$150, The Furness Forum, 1717 Arch St., 215-893-9456, balletx.org.

SUNDAY

6.10 [ dj nights ]

✚ SUNDAE

Sun., June 10, 3-11 p.m., $5, Morgan’s Pier, 221 N. Columbus Blvd, 215-2797134, sundae.ws.

[ literature ]

✚ MAURICE SENDAK After the recent death of beloved children’s author and illustrator Maurice Sendak, the Rosenbach Museum — the homey institute handpicked by Sendak to warehouse his archives — scrambled to put together a selection of sketches and final drawings from his work, including Where the Wild Things Are, Chicken Soup with

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A new season of the epic Sundae party is upon us. This year it includes a dance competition every second Sunday, with the winner getting a $150 cash prize. After the b-boy action,

—Gair “Dev79” Marking

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—A.D. Amorosi

the Do You Wanna Boogie? party will jump off with DJs Skeme Richards, Del, Dirty and Aaron Dae spinning house, breaks, funk, soul and hip-hop. Then head to Silk City and Voyeur for the after-parties. Not in the mood for clubbing on a Sunday? See it streaming live at mixlr.com/sundae/live.

—A.D. Amorosi Sun., June 10, noon-6 p.m., free, Rosenbach Museum & Library, 20082010 Delancey Pl., 215-732-1600, rosenbach.org.

MONDAY

6.11 [ rock/pop ]

✚ UNKNOWN MORTAL ORCHESTRA

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In 2010, New Zealand musician Ruban Nielson created a Bandcamp page for something called Unknown Mortal Orchestra. At first, the only song found there

TUESDAY

6.12 [ rock/pop ] was called “Ffunny Ffrends,” a slice of engaging lo-fi pop, distinguished by a funky drum loop sampled from The Pointer Sisters’ “Yes We Can Can.” By the time their self-titled debut was released in June 2011, UMO had already garnered the attention of the music-website elite. But the album’s not merely a triumph of hype. Nielson’s mix of Syd Barrett playfulness and R&B rhythms works marvelously. And “How Can U Luv Me” is a perfect Prince tribute, even though — like much of the album — it’s buried in mounds of tape hiss. Now a trio, the band’s live show should contain plenty of melody and beats, with minimal hissing. —Michael Pelusi Mon., June 11, 8 p.m., $12, with Doldrums and DIIV, Johnny Brenda’s, 1201 N. Frankford Ave., 877-435-9849, johnnybrendas.com.

✚ BATTLES The 2010 departure of Tyondai Braxton certainly influenced the current approach of math-rock mavens Battles, but none of their intricate, sometimes-superhuman abilities left with the frontman. If anything, 2011’s Gloss Drop proved that experimental is not synonymous with nefarious, with Dave Konopka, Ian Williams and John Stanier JASON FRANK ROTHENBERG

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Rice and Brundibar. They’re opening Maurice Sendak: A Legacy and offering free admission on June 10, what would have been Sendak’s 84th birthday. The exhibit comprises 65 drawings, one for each year of Sendak’s long career; new material will be swapped in every four months over the exhibit’s yearlong lifespan so each of Sendak’s picture books can make an appearance.

(quietly one of the best drummers in the game) inoculating the record with an accessible,

[ the agenda ]

nearly poppish sensibility that remained true to the group’s distinct left-of-center brand. For further evidence of Battles’ smiling growth, see Dross Glop (Warp), a just-released remix compilation of their last album that hands the keys off to the hepcat likes of Gang Gang Dance, Alchemist and The Field. —Drew Lazor Tue., June 12, 7 p.m., $15, with Work Drugs and Grimace Federation, TLA, 334 South St., 215-922-1011, tlaphilly.com.

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THURSDAY 6.7

MO $$ NO PROBLEMS

----------------------------------------FRIDAY 6.8 PEX VS PLAYLOOP LEE MAYJAHS? DJ EVERYDAY

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PHONOGRAPHIC ARTS PRESENTS:

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9TH & CHRISTIAN

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feedingfrenzy By Adam Erace

NEAL SANTOS

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³ NOW SEATING

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Shake Shack | In case you’ve been living under a rock the past few months, Philly has gotten a branch of Danny Meyer’s New York burger bar; it opened yesterday to throngs of transplanted Manhattanites and rabid burger bloggers. Burgers (antibiotic- and hormone-free), dogs (split and griddled) and fries headline the menu, but what’s really got us are the triple-thick Concretes with mix-ins like soft pretzel, marshmallow, caramel and banana; and strawberry puree, lemon ricotta and Termini cannoli shell shards. Hours: daily 11 a.m.-11 p.m. 2000 Sansom St., 215-809-1742, shakeshack.com. Urban Enoteca | Choo-choo! All aboard the artisanal Italian express! Next stop: the Latham Hotel, now serving braised beef arancini, prosciutto-crusted prawns and “crispy gnocchis” in its two-week-old wine bar. Chef Dan Orvis, imported from Florida, is doing breakfast, lunch and dinner, seven days a week. Latham Hotel, 135 S. 17th St., 215-563-7474, lathamhotelphiladelphia.com/dining. Honeygrow| Customers are placing their first orders today at Justin Rosenberg and David Robkin’s quickserve concept. Honeygrow (pictured) specializes in upscale stir-fries, designed by Shola Olunloyo and customized by patrons with choice of noodles (rice, wheat, soba or gluten-free), sauce (Indonesian barbecue, spicy Szechuan) and other ingredients.1601 Sansom St., 215-545-5555, honeygrow.com. ³ LITTLE VITTLES

Go-to gourmet-to-go spot Plenty (1710 E. Passyunk Ave., 267-909-8033) has new owners, Anthony and Damon Mascieri. They’re expanding the hours as well as the food offerings, and adding La Colombe coffee. ³ Bill Beck is opening a second Beck’s Cajun Cafe (the original is in Reading Terminal). Look for the 30th Street Station location in July. Got A Tip? Please send restaurant news to restaurants@ citypaper.net or call 215-735-8444, ext. 207.

HIGH TIDE: A dish of steamed cockles with Peroni, thyme and Red Bliss potatoes is a nod to Shore life. NEAL SANTOS

[ review ]

PRESCRIPTION ABUSE Rx replacement Rimedio is not what the doctor ordered. By Adam Erace RIMEDIO | 4443 Spruce St., 215-222-9590, il-rimedio.com. Dinner served

Tues.-Sun. 5-10 p.m.; brunch served Sat.-Sun 10 a.m.-2 p.m. Appetizers, $7-$13; pastas, $14-$18; entrees, $18-$30; desserts, $7-$14.

W

aiter, there’s an octopus tentacle in my berry terrine. Or it least it appeared that way, as the last rays of late-spring sunlight slunk from the window-wrapped dining room of Rimedio, the new Italian understudy of West Philly icon Rx. Imagine the horror! A little Ursula, wriggling out of Rimedio’s fridge, desperately fleeing death by stockpot, only to plummet off the counter and into a rapidly firming red, white and blue gelée. Fortunately, More on: as I put fork to terrine, it became apparent I wasn’t witnessing some grave kitchen mishap, of which Rimedio had already offered plenty. What looked like cephalopod suckers were simply blueberries, halved, arranged in a row cut-side up and suspended in apple-juice aspic between layers of pressed strawberries—a sophisticated Fourth of July Jell-O mold. “A modern Northern Italian restaurant” is how chef/co-owner Dan Freeman bills Rimedio, yet the menu is neither terribly Italian nor terribly modern. The berry terrine is but one vintage

citypaper.net

recipe, so unabashedly old-school it might just feel new again were it executed sharply. Instead, ragged, seemingly clawed edges surrounded the slice of jewel-toned gel, plopped on a plate with deflated vanilla whipped cream, and the underripe fruit entombed inside needed stronger sweetening. It might seem chronologically incongruous to begin with dessert, but the terrine was representative of most of the food I ate at Rimedio, an unfortunate dovetailing of throwback technique (ballotines, roulades) with wonky execution, clumsy plating and muted flavors. Old vials, rusted scales and other apothecary paraphernalia deck the corner space in which Rimedio resides. There’s a vintage CocaCola cooler, massive blackboard advertising the day’s charcuterie (“lanzo,” but I think they mean lonza, cured pork loin) and plenty of time to admire it all if you’re left lingering in a nearly empty dining room, as I was. The sole server eventually emerged from the kitchen; despite his initial tardiness, he was one MORE FOOD AND high point of the meal, providing service DRINK COVERAGE with more pride and professionalism than AT C I T Y P A P E R . N E T / the food deserves. M E A LT I C K E T. Peroni (too bitter), thyme (too much) and Red Bliss potatoes (too raw) marred a bowl of otherwise pleasant steamed cockles, a shout to Freeman’s childhood at the Shore. Profiteroles featured puff pastry so dry and brittle it should be tested for osteoporosis. A white-wine-poached radish salad with ricotta salata and Meyer lemon vinaigrette sounded interesting, but it turns out wine-poached radishes taste exactly like regular radishes. They rolled around a mess of underdressed arugula like >>> continued on adjacent page

the naked city | feature | a&e | the agenda

[ food & drink ]

✚ Prescription Abuse <<< continued from previous page

One thing Freeman definitely knows how to make well: pasta. gracetavern.com

classifieds

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P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R | J U N E 7 - J U N E 1 3 , 2 0 1 2 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T | 35

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little pink and white dreidels. The eggplant “caponata� stack was an affront to the sweet-and-sour Sicilian antipasto. Freeman sears thick discs of aubergine and tomato, grills red onion wheels, Jengas the three together and bakes the squat tower in the oven before jazzing it up with soft polenta, golden raisins and cocoa-enriched balsamic syrup. Freeman, a veteran of L’Oca and Bistro 7, should know better. Then again, he’s only 30 and spent the past four years in Denver cooking at Vesta, a “dipping grill� whose claim to fame appears to be its 30-plus sauces. There is one thing Freeman definitely knows how to make, and how to make well: pasta. The housemade noodles are Rimedio’s redemption, especially the fine threads of capellini, eggy and so uncommonly rich I didn’t even mind that they arrived slightly overcooked and buried in a mushroomy landslide. Mined with indistinguishable bits of crisped, house-cured pork belly and fistfuls of thyme, the sauce flowed over the pasta and around white islands of exquisitely seared scallops like muddy moats. With the scallops and the pasta and nothing else, Freeman has a superior dish on his hands. What he doesn’t have is the maturity to recognize that. Freeman also doesn’t have the maturity to recognize that “it’s an experiment I wanted to try� is not a reason to put a chicken ballotine on the menu. This is not a science lab, despite the beakers scattered about. Ballotine, another back-in-the-day prep involving the stuffing of boned-out poultry (with ramps and mozzarella curd, in Rimedio’s case), was handled here with all the grace of a walrus doing yoga. It’s a process: Chicken breasts get pounded thin, layered over chicken skin, stuffed, wrapped into a log, tied, poached and pan-seared on the pick-up. So why go to all that trouble if you’re just going to slice it in half like a common hoagie? The cut ends of the ungainly poultry doobie-faced me, weeping molten mozzarella. A single grilled ramp lay on top like a flower on a grave. I sincerely hope we’re not leaving flowers on Rimedio’s doorstep anytime soon, but without stronger discipline and smarter flavors in the kitchen, the diagnosis looks terminal. (adam.erace@citypaper.net)

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Save BIG on Legendary Omaha Steaks® World-famous Omaha Steaks, aged to perfection, flash-frozen at the peak of flavor and delivered to your door... 100% guaranteed!

[ food & drink ]

[ the week in eats ]

✚ WHAT’S COOKING

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food

Thrill Dad! Father’s Day is June 17th.

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6-Piece Cutlery Set and FREE Cutting Board Fishtown FestivALE Sat., June 9, noon-8 p.m., pay as you go

Get 2 FREE Gifts with purchase Limit of 2 packages and 1 FREE Cutlery Set and Cutting Board per address. Standard shipping & handling will be applied per address. Hurry! Offer expires 6/30/12. ©2012 OCG | 13884 | Omaha Steaks, Inc.

Call Free 1-866-568-9897 • ZZZ 2PDKD6WHDNV FRP GDG

³ Frankford Hall and Johnny Brenda’s are teaming for the first annual Fishtown FestivALE. The block-partystyle event features an appearance from Beer Week symbol the Hammer of Glory and beers from Sly Fox, including Phoenix Pale Ale, Maibock and Royal Weisse, to be poured at JB’s, which is also serving food specials like veggie burgers and brisket sandwiches. Frankford Hall will have some classic Belgian and German beers such as Fransiskaner Hefeweizen, Paulaner Munich Lager and Spaten Oktoberfest, and their menu features regular and spicy bratwurst, turkey legs and Bavarian pretzels. Johnny Brenda’s and Frankford Hall, 1201 and 1210 N. Frankford Ave., johnnybrendas.com, frankfordhall.com.

KARAOKE

smiths

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restaurant bar

Taco Take Down Sat., June 9, noon-3:30 p.m., pay as you go or $15 ³ A Full Plate is hosting this taco competition at

Liberty Lands Park. Teams of three, both amateur and professional, are competing in two categories: anything goes and vegetarian. Judges and the public will vote for their favorites. Each public ballot (and taco) costs $1, but $15 buys an unlimited ticket. Liberty Lands Park, 700 N. Third St., 215-627-4068, afullplate.com. Left Hand Arm Wrestling at SPTR Sat., June 9, 7 p.m., pay as you go ³ Dan Conway of Left Hand Brewing and

FEELS BETTER THAN IT SOUNDS Tuesdays 10pm-2am on 19th Between Chestnut and Market

267.546.2669 www.smiths-restaurant.com

South Philadelphia Tap Room are hosting an arm-wrestling contest that gives southpaws a chance to shine: Contestants must use their left arm to wrestle. Left Hand is pouring faves along with some rare brews and a special firkin. The winner gets Left Hand swag and beer, along with a SPTR gift certificate. Taps start flowing at 7 p.m.; the contest starts at 9 p.m. South Philadelphia Tap Room, 1509 Mifflin St., 215-271-7787, southphiladelphiataproom.com. Beermuda Triangle Run Sat., June 9, noon, pay as you go

³ Kite & Key is sponsoring a twist on the traditional relay race for Beer Week: Starting at St. Stephen’s Green, players in teams of four compete by pounding beers before “passing the baton” to the next runner. Stops include The Bishop’s Collar and Kite & Key. Cans of Sly Fox, 21st Amendment and Oskar Blues will go for a special relay price. Register by emailing jim@thekiteandkey.com; if you don’t have four people, Kite & Key will team you up. Make sure to arrive at noon; the race starts at 1 p.m. Kite & Key, 1836 Callowhill St., 215-568-1818, thekiteandkey.com. —Alexandra Weiss

the naked city | feature | a&e | the agenda

20122013 Y O U R P R E M I E R M A G A Z I N E F E AT U R I N G E V E R Y T H I N G P H I L LY !

food

CITY GUIDE highlights Philly’s unique neighborhoods showcasing restaurants, galleries, bars, clubs, boutiques, retail shops, markets, music venues and more!

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COPIES OF CITY GUIDE WILL BE DISTRIBUTED AT THE FOLLOWING LOCATIONS: •

Real Estate Offices

•

Condominiums

•

Colleges & Universities

•

Grad School Orientation Bags

•

Convention Center & Visitor Bureaus

•

Hotels

•

Retailers

•

Bars & Clubs

•

…And More!

C I T Y PA P E R ’ S G U I D E T O P H I L A D E L P H I A

2011-2012

PUBLICATION DATE: AUGUST 23 SPACE RESERVATION DEADLINE: JULY 11 FOR MORE INFORMATION CONTACT YOUR ACCOUNT MANAGER OR CALL 215.825.2496

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food | the agenda | a&e | feature | the naked city classifieds

everything pets pets/livestock Please be aware Possession of exotic/wild animals may be restricted in some areas.

Ragdoll Kittens: Beautiful, guaranteed, home raised. Call 610-731-0907

Golden Retriever Irish Cream Puppies. Breeding Goldens for over 25 yrs. Producing healthy and hearty Goldens with the best personality. Health Guaranteed. Call 484-678-6696

Golden Retriever Pups AKC, male & fem, home raised, ready 6/7. (610)286-5502 Great Dane Puppies: AKC, brindle colored, Parents on premises. Reduced to $800. Call 302-764-3184 /302-379-3423

Great Danes: rare blue, ch. lines, avail. 6/18, $2000. 25 yrs exp. 610-273-9876 AKC Yorkie F pups Vet chks/shots $695 Lgarman@emypeople.net 717-336-4398

LAB PUPS 100% GUAR. READY NOW, MUST COME SEE!!! 215-768-4344

AKITAS:Beautiful, champ lines, mom & dad on site. $600-800. 215-260-3735

LAB pups, AKC, English & chmp lines, choc & yllow, ex. pets, broad hds, parents on prem, hlth guar $500. 717-354-2674

American Staffordshire Terrier Pit Bull Puppies $200.00. Call 215-303-4375 BEAGLE PUPS AKC $500 Show Champion Line, 10 wks. Shots, Health guar. F$500, M-450. Call Bob 215 256-1575. BEAGLE pups - AKC, 7 weeks, 1st shots/wormed, males. $350. 14 month old male, all shots, $200. 215-547-6314

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Bedlington Terrier Puppies Males/Female $1000 (845)858-3600 www.bedlityme.com Bernese Mountain Dog Puppies AKC, Penn Hips, big beautiful males $1500. 484-678-6696

BOXER PUPPIES - AKC, parents on premises. Ready now. $800/ea. 267-912-8540 Bull Mastiff 3 month old fawn male, updated on shots, $2,000. 267-242-8054

Cairn Terrier pups, ACA registered, vet checked, $650. (717)989-8345

Cavalier King Charles M/F, 5 year guar $900. 610-485-4020 or 610-800-1970

Lab pups, AKC, hips, elbows & eyes certified, shots & wormed. (610)286-0329

Lab Pups, AKC, s/w, home raised, health guar. 610-944-3609 or 610-506-7109

Labradoodle Pups, black, brown & light s & w, vet chk, family pets, 610.496.4253

Maltese Pups - 2M, 2F, parents on premises, ready June 11th. Call 267-992-4252

Old English Bulldogs , IOEBA reg., 3F, 1 Male, $1500/obo. (856)383-6687

Pit Bull Pups 18 weeks $250, parents on premises. NE Phila. 215-668-7051 Pitbull Pups, M/F, 3-8 mo. s h o t s , wormed, ADBA $375-$475. 215-834-1247

Cocker Spaniel M/F, Ready 6/6, shots/ vet, taking deposits $350. 267-242-3408

POODLE Standard Pups AKC Beautiful Parti pups. Health Guaranteed. $800 484-678-6696

Cocker Spaniel Puppies male, ten weeks old, ACA registered, $350 717-383-0644

Rottweiler Akc puppies available now big boned m/f $1200 610-476-8679

COCKER SPANIEL Pups, Home Raised, Champion bloodlines. 856-299-0451

WESTIES: Registered, home raised, M’s & F’s shots, wormed, 484-868-8452

COLLIES PUPS 4 whites! Sable F, 4 yrs, normal eyes, Ch. stock. (856)825-4856

Yorkie male pups: AKC, home raised, pure bred, starting at $650.215-490-2243 Shih Tzu Pups ACA, beautiful, S/W, health gaurantee, $375. (610)286-9076

GERMAN SHORT HAIRED POINTERS Excellent hunting dogs/family pets, Vet checked, 1st shots, $550. 856-261-8922 Golden Doodle Pups, home raised by exp. breeder, 610.322.0576, 610.544.2719

Golden Retriever, 9 week F, AKC, vet chkd, family raised, $580. 717-435-3622

YORKIE Pup, Female, shots & papers, $1200, 610-909-0763 YORKIPOO Pups 3F Vet chks/shots $495 Lgarman@emypeople.net 717-336-4398 LOST COCKATIEL: gray female, Ridge & Roosevelt Expwy, missing 5/28, REWARD for return. (201)389-3992 or 906-4359

merchandise market

jobs

apartment marketplace

BRAZILIAN FLOORING 3/4", beautiful, $2.75 sf (215) 365-5826 CABINETS SOLID MAPLE Brand new soft close/dovetail. Fits 10’x10’ kitchen. More cabinets if needed. Cost $6,400. Sell $1,595. 610-952-0033 DAVY JONES Autograph with artwork and additional text. Size 4.5in. H x 3in. W. $47/copy. Free shipping. 570-374-5445 Pinball machines, shuffle bowling alleys Will barter for landscape clean up tntquality@aol.com 215.783.0823

BD a Memory Foam Mattress/BoxsprIng Brand New Queen cost $1400, sell $299; King cost $1700 sell $399. 610-952-0033

Bd a Queen Pillow top matt set $175; King $250 mem foam $295. 215-752-0911 BED: New Queen Pillow Top Set $150 . twin, full, king avail. Del avl 215-355-3878 Bedroom Set 5 pc. brand new $399 All sizes, Del. Avail. 215-355-3878

Housekeeper, errands, PT-FT, 5 yrs exp, refs,car,bkgd chk,Overbrook,215.290.2100

apartment marketplace

TWO Bedroom sets for sale, sofa bed & misc items. 267-307-6929

2012 Hot Tub/Spa. Brand New! 6 person w/lounger, Cover. Factory warranty. Never installed! Beautiful. Cost $6,000. Ask $2,500. Will deliver. 610-952-0033

BUYING EAGLES SBL’s & TICKETS

15th & Wharton 1 BR $575+utils references required. Call 856-465-3464

58xx Theodore St. 1br $525 + utils. Modern Duplex, carpet, 215-840-6018 64th & Woodland 2br $700 1st flr, w/d in unit 267-882-5999

** Bob 610-532-9408 ***

33 & 45 Records Absolute Higher $

* * * 215-200-0902 * * *

Books -Trains -Magazines -Toys Dolls - Model Kits 610-689-8476

Coins, Currency, Gold, Toys,

Trains, Hummels, Sports Cards. Call the Local Higher Buyer, 7 Dys/Wk

1315 N. 52nd St. 1br $600+utils hdwd flrs,2nd fl, new renov, 267.581.8393

14xx N 52nd. 1br $400+utils nw kitch, 1st, 2nd & 3rd flr. 215-205-7186

200 N. 52nd St 1BR Nr new El transp. Sec 8 ok 484.358.0761

40th & Cambridge 2br $645/mo. free utils, Call or text Scott 215-222-2435

42xx Otter St 1BR $550+ gas & elec $1650 move in. 267-402-8836

53xx Master St. 1Br $575+utils lovely modern, 2 mo sec. 215-748-3327 54th & Westminster 1br $700 includes water & heat. Call 215-878-7928 or 215-475-1623 after 6:00

57xx Beaumont 1br $650+utils large, renov, 1st flr, sec 8 ok 215.813.2549 61xx Locust St XL 2Br private porch, yard. 215-275-2736

11th & Wyoming 1BR $575+utils newly renovated, front porch, back yard, nice basement, (215)276-1097

5xxx N 15th St. 1br $600+utils renov, 1st, 2nd & 3rd flr, great location & transp. (267)474-2003 or 215-345-0956 CAMAC ST. 2BR $585 2nd floor, 4 rooms, carpet & window treatments, back yard, (267)608-0182

Einstein Hospital area 2Br Duplex, Call 215-643-4376

$725

34xx Westmoreland St. 2br $825+ beautiful, clean, like new 267-312-6172

102 Manheim small & lrg 1Br units $575-$700. great transp 610-287-9857

50xx Newhall St 1BR $600+elec 1st, last, sec., refs., 3rd flr., W/W carpets, modern EIK, rear private entry, newly refurbished, avail now, 215-849-3994 5321 Wayne Ave. Efficiency $550 1br $625 & 2br $725, call 215-776-6277

$750

Parkside Area Furnished 1BR starting @ $750. Newly renov, new kit & bath, hdwd flrs, Section 8 OK. 267-324-3197

Dr. Sonnheim, 856-981-3397

JUNK CARS WANTED Up to $300 for Junk Cars 215-888-8662

1,2, 3, 4 Bedroom FURNISHED APTS LAUNDRY-PARKING 215-223-7000

1x Broad St. & Windrim 1br apt Must see! Sec. 8 ok. 215-885-1700

CALL 215-669-1924

33&45 RECORDS HIGHER $ REALLY PAID

36xx N 13th St 1br $575+utils 1st flr, carpet throughout. (215)828-1530

21xx Chelten Ave. 1BR $595+elec new update, all reno,2nd flr 215.284.5394

5th St. & Fairhill 1BR $600 W/D, C/A, new renov. Call 267-716-3662 50th & Walton 2BR/1BA $750/mo. Modern, Avail. now. Call 267-266-3661

W. Oaklane 1BR & 2BR $650-$725 newly painted, (215)651-3333

Various 1 & 2 BR Apts $750-$895 www.perutoproperties.com 215.740.4900

26xx E Somerset 1br $650+elec xtra lrg, close to trans, CC 215-518-6631

Lionel/Am Flyer/Trains/Hot Whls $$$$ Aurora TJet/AFX Toy Cars 215-396-1903 SAXOPHONES, WWII, SWORDS, related items, Lenny3619@aol 609.581.8290

29xx D St. Studio $375+elec renovated, $1125 move in, 215-779-1512 3252 Frankford Ave. 1BR $500+elec LR, eat in kitchen, 2nd floor unit, newly renovated. Call (215) 624-7100

4645 Penn St. 1BR $625. newly renov gas/wtr inc 215-781-8072

3850 N. 13th St. 1br $550 washer, yard, p. furnished (267)304-1387

Bedroom set 6 pc. Cherry Brand new, in box $499. 215-752-0911 HAIR SALON FURNITURE 8 Stations, desk, shampoo, etc. B/O. 610-506-8157

WYNNEFIELD 1BR/1BA $700. Dining/Office, BD, kit nook, 1.5 Blks from City Ave. on 54th St. nr St. Joe. 2nd flr, modern, w/w crpt. A/C, Offst. park’g & laundry facil. Avl imm. 610-517-4822

40xx Blk Claridge, 1 br, hrdwd flr, balcny. $600 +, free water, New paint. 1 mo rent + 1 mo sec. to Move in. 267-455-5302 60xx Torresdale Ave 1br $650+utils storage, section 8 ok. Call 267-992-3233 Academy & Grant 2BR $795+ 1st flr,w/w, c/a,off st prkg 856.346.0747 Blvd/Bowler Vic 2br/1.5ba $795+utils c/a, bsmnt, gar, w/w crpt. 215-635-3173 Bridge St train Terminal Efficiency & 1br more apts other areas 267-671-7848 Bustleton & Tomlinson 2BR $650-$750 +utils, W/D, pets ok. Call 267-338-6696 Cottman Ave Vic 2br $745+utils 2nd floor, w/w carpet. 267-251-5675 Grant & Bustleton 2br Condo $925 prvt balcony w/garden view 215.943.0370

Lawndale 1br $625+utils Beautiful, small apt, 609-408-9298

Mayfair 2BR $700+utils 1st flr, credit chk. 215.498.1807 Mrs. Chan NE & N Phila spac renov effic& rms start @ $100wk 215-876-5520 OXFORD CIRCLE 1BR on 3rd fl. $510 + utils. 267-312-7100

WARMINSTER Lg 1-2-3 BR Sect. 8 OK 1 MONTHS FREE RENT!!! HURRY!! Pets & smoking ok. We work with credit problems. Call for Details: 215-443-9500

Upper Darby 1br & 2br $620-$765+utils lrg bdrms & Liv rm, updated appl’s, new HW flr., close to transp. 610-842-5996

DREXEL HILL: Cozy furn. room includes bed, TV, A/C, utilities. $450/mo. + $225 Sec. Dep. Call John (610)259-7039. East Oaklane furnished room, share house $450/inc util, sec req 215.549.0634 SECANE, PA 1 bdrm in 4 bdrm house w/own private bath, full house privileges, HS internet and cable, 10 mins from Rail Road. $400/mo+1/3 utils, (610)574-2874

12th and Lehigh $400/month plus security. 215-510-0928 1406 S 23rd. S. Phila: Newly renov. No drugs. $100/wk, utils inc. 215-820-4138 16th & Lehigh, 21st & York, 22nd & Allegheny - $325/mo. SSI ok. 215-485-8815 16xx Orthodox St., share bath, $130/wk, deposit required. Call 215-743-9950

20th & Erie, brand new furnished rooms $100-$120/week, SSI OK, (267)690-0204 21st & Erie, large room, new renov., wall/wall, furn. $100/wk. 215-570-0301

Frankford, nice rm in apt, near bus & El, $250 sec, $85/wk & up. 215-526-1455 Frankford - Rooms for Rent in beautiful Victorian hse. $100-$145. 215-760-3646

Germantown Area: NICE, Cozy Rooms Private entry, no drugs (267)988-5890

Germantown fully furn, newly built rms use of house, laundry. 267-600-1584

Germantown,furn rms, renovated, share kitch & BA, $125/wk. 215-514-3960 22xx Fontain St. furnished rooms with shared batnroom & also 45xx Frankford Ave. Starting @$400/mo 267-670-6689

Germantown, W, N & SW Phila Rooms From $350-$550/mo. 215-806-7078

25th & Oxford St. 63rd & Ogantz, W.O.L. $90/week. 267-629-0255

GTN & West Phila $375-$400 furnished, 1 occupant. Call 267-276-2153 Kensington, furn, shared kitch & bth $375, prvt kit, shared ba, $425. 267-968-7043

2764 N. Hemberger St., Rooms for rent, starting $350/mo. 267-257-3610 28xx N 27th St: Furnished rooms, utils included, $100/wk, SSI ok, 267-819-5683

29xx OXFORD St. - Large Rooms $75 & up. SSI ok, no drugs. 215-240-9499

30th & Lehigh: huge rm, $120/wk, $360 move in. proof of income, 215-531-4852 4223 Lancaster Ave, Clean room near transportation. 267-738-6201 46TH & WOODLAND furnished rooms, $375-$475, near transp. (215)954-9437 4952 Lancaster Luxury Room for rent $375/mo. Hank (267) 974-9271.

49th & Haverford also Upper Darby: 69th St., newly renov rooms, $100-$125. use of house, no drugs. (484) 431-3670

NE $130/wk. all utils incld. Large, furn, 1st wk free. Call 267-600-2887

North Phila. lrg rm, use of kitchen, very good enviorment, $100/wk. 215.475.0484 North Phila. small, med or large rms based on single occup. $300, $350 & $400. 215-913-1485 or 267-312-1499

N Phila, 24xx Bancroft, nice size rooms, newly renovated, Call 215-852-2965

N. Phila Furn Rms SS & vets welcome. No drugs, $100 & up, 267-595-4414 N. Phila. Temple Hosp. renov., 2 bath, kitchen, cable, $110-$125. 267-972-6716 Oaklane furnished room for rent. $125/wk 267-266-1156

53xx Girard Ave: Large clean rooms $100-$110/week. Call (215)917-1091

South Phila furn room, fridge, renovated, no drugs. 215-465-3080

ALLEGHENY $90/wk. $270 sec dep Nr L train, furn, quiet. 609-703-4266 Broad & Hunting Park, Summer Special: all rms $300 move-in for 1st mo. (2) 1BR apts $600+elec. 2BR apt $700+elec. SSI OK. Call 267-588-5517 BROAD ST. AREA-rms starting at $95 & up No drugs Other loc avl. 215-252-2839

71xx Pascal Ave 5BR house $1250+utils modern, Sec. 8 approved. 215-726-8817

S. Phila rm w/priv BA, $280 to move-in $140/wk. SSI welcome. (215) 713-5854 SW Phila rm for rent $250 move in, share kit & bth. also apt avail 267-251-2749

25xx Corlies St. 3BR $675 56xx Washington Ave. 3BR $775 Newly renovated. Call 267-997-5181

56xx Stewart St. 3br/1ba $825+utils renovated, ready now (215)436-7756 58th & Arch 3Br/1Ba $900+ porch, yard, Sec 8 OK. 610-649-9009

West and SW Phila $125-$140/wk priv rm & ba, clean & new. 215-939-5854 West Phila, furnished rooms, Seniors Welcome, Call (267)401-8831 West Philly Rooms for Rent and 1BR apt. and Efficiency.267-997-5181 W. Philadelphia room available, Kitch. privledges, fully furn’d, cable $75/ week $150 to move in. Call 215-431-7063

BUICK LESABRE 1997 $2,850 79k, mint, inspec., 610-667-4829 Cadillac CTS 2004 $4999 V6, automatic, 112k miles, ( 267)825-2315 Cadillac Deville 2001 $4275 98k, mnrf, 20 in chrome 267.592.0448

FORD MUSTANG 1966 $18,500/obo Convertible, 289 A-code, 215-643-3412

$250 & UP FOR JUNK CARS Call 215-722-2111

Cash paid on the spot for unwanted vehicles, 24/7 pick up, 215-288-9500

JUNK CARS WANTED 24/7 REMOVAL. Call 267-377-3088

Chevy Blazer LS Sport Ed. 1998 $1950 4x4, 4 dr, V6, loaded, nice 215-847-7346 Chevy Cavalier 2003 $2,800/obo great cond., 85k mi., AC 267-584-6964 Chevy Celebrity 1989 $995 auto, a/c, 4 cyl, 4 dr, 91k, 215-620-9383 Ford Mustang 5.0 1988 $3,000/obo Convertible, 127K mi, auto. 215-272-2686

HONDA CIVIC 2000 $3500 135k, 4 door, 1 owner 215-779-1512 Lincoln TownCar 2000 $3995 Cartier, loaded, gorgeous, 610-524-8835

A1 PRICES FOR JUNK CARS FREE TOW ING , Call (215) 726-9053

HONDA VTX 1300 2003 $5,000 Good condition. Call 610-284-0789

SW (Elmwood Area) modern 3br house new crpts, sect. 8 welcome 215.726.8817

VOLVO S70 GLT 2000 $1500/OBO may trade, 247k miles, 4 door, air, sunroof, insp. 12/12, very clean 267.975.4483

Nissan Maxima 1994 $1250 auto, cold AC, CD, runs exc 215.620.9383 WINNEBAGO 1977 $3,500 77k, good condition. 610-667-4829

42xx Elbridge 3br/1ba $900 nice house, nice location (267)772-0018 70xx Louise St. 4br/2ba beautiful, renov., sec 8 ok, 215-609-5207

Darby 3br/1ba $950+utils prch,yd,close shop & transp 610.696.2022 Landsdowne 14xx Woodland Ave. 3BR/1.5BA Newly renovated, front porch hdwd & ceramic floors, ceiling fans, sec. 8 ok. Please call 877-371-7368 Yeadon, PA 2BR/1BA $950+utils 1st & last month rent req., 610-202-7221

707 N. 42nd St. 6 BR/2 BA open Saturday, sect. 8 ok, (718)679-7753 Cobbs Creek 1BR & 2BR $625-$700 newly renovated duplex. (610)348-6121

Westminster Ave. 3br/1ba $700+util completely renovated, available now, section 8 ok, Call 267-808-9792

31st & Dauphin St. 2BR/1BA 267-258-8786

North Wales 3Br/1.5Ba $1,295+utils Townhouse, A/C, W/D, basement, pool. avail. immediately. 508-478-8167.

automotive

$650

52xx Howard St 3Br $1,200 fresh paint, Sec 8 OK (215)264-2340 Masher & Duncannon 3Br/1Ba $810 3 month sec. LR, DR, lrg EIK 215.329.8343

S6 2009 $41,000 5.2 Liter V10 Lamborghini Engine w/ certified pre-owed warranty until 2015 from Audi, 28K miles, navigation and bluetooth, front and rear heated leather seats, 6 CD premium sound system with IPod and IPhone connections, AWD, Audi lane assist, all service records, full set of winter wheels and tires incl. 570-575-2278

39xx Delhi St 2.5Br/1Ba porch front, Call 12pm-7pm 610-872-1797 1993 40th Anniversary Edition $19,200 Convertible, 6 speed, 38k. (609)217-8519

Temple Area: Furn. Luxury Rooms. Free utils, cable, internet. Call 267-331-5382 Temple Hosp. area, $400-$500/mo, full kit, 2 full bath, SSI/SSD OK. 215-917-9369

3300 I St 2br $650 Front Porch, No Pets, call 215-289-2973 53XX LESHER ST 3BR $800+UTILS CALL 215-778-0907

CAPE MAY, NJ (Shore) - Cape Island Resorts 1992 Quailridge Park Model, 3BR, sleeps 8, a/c, screened porch, oversize lot, excellent cond, $28k. 908-433-2675

low cost cars & trucks

4x W. Rockland St. 5Br $1325+utils Section 8 approved. Call 917-863-8624

50xx Portico 4BR/1BA $950+utils newly remod, Sec 8 OK (215)698-7840 55xx Ardleigh 3BR/1BA Modern Kitch. New Carpets. 215-514-7143

15xx Barringer 3BR $1,100+utils twin, w/w crpt, garage, W/D267.236.3401

W. Phila Furn Rms, SS & Vets welcome, No drugs, $100/wk & up 267-586-6502

31xx Janney St. 2BR/1BA $750/mo. Freshly renov., Sec 8 ok, rear yard. Call Tony (215) 953-1255 leave message.

W Phila & G-town: newly ren lg, lux rms /apts. ALL utils incl, SSI ok, 215-833-4065

31xx Janney St. 3BR $750+utils Section 8 and Voucher OK. (215)834-7832

Ford F-150 XLT 2002 new body style, 4 dr,lux super ext. cab,mag whls, prem tires, orig mi, sacrifice $6,975. 215-629-0630

G35 2003 $8,800 27K miles, pearl, Call (215)888-3703

Jaguar 2003 3.0 S Type with sunroof, like new, original miles $6,985 215-928-9632

Altima 2.5 SL 2005 $8,300 auto,immaculate,all records 610.547.1570 MURANO SL 2007 $18,485 60k miles, AWD, White, sound insulated, quiet, Call 856-297-5397

in the paper and on

w w w. p h i l l y. c o m / c a r s

45

C & Allegheny; 13th & York; 48th & Lancaster, 52nd & Race; SSI Welcome. Call 215-290-8702

65xx Regent St. 3BR $700/mo. Freshly painted. Call 215-868-2032

N. Phila: Brewerytown, Rooms and studios for Rent. Call (267) 978-5273

South Phila, 26 Oakford, $340$380/month. Please Call (267) 997-8142

A1 Nice, well maintained rms, N. & W. Phila. Starting @ $125/wk 610.667.9675

55xx Walnut St. 3Br $775/mo 1st+last+1 mo sec. 215-758-5120 lv msg

North Phila - Furn. rms w/ prvt bath & Norristown rms. $100/wk. 484.636.8205

51xx Haverford ROOMS: $400 Big, clean, carpeted, near EL all utils incl SSI OK Drug & drama free Call now! 267.436.1432

6th & Erie vicinity $400/mo + $100 security deposit. Call 215-626-8518

Grays Ferry 2br/1ba $750 13xx S. Stanley St., yard, porch, close to everything, avail immed. (267)574-4163

2Br, 3Br & 4Br Houses Sec. 8 welcome beautifully renovated, (267)981-2718

Olney & N. Phila. Furn rms cpt, nr trans, kit, coin W/D, $55+. Call 516-527-0186

6237 Norwood St. Furn rooms for rent. 267-474-0827

21xx Manton St 3br/1ba $825+utils newly remod., hwd flrs, new kit w/granite countertops, new bathroom (215)917.1091

Mt Airy, 61xx Chew Ave, Univ City, 2xx Melville, $85-$125/wk, 215-242-9124

51xx Brown St. Large, clean, furn., $100 wk, $300 move-in. Call 215-687-6233

61st & Chester Ave., newly renovated room, $125/wk. $250/dep. 267-456-2808

14xx S. Etting 3 BR $675+utils. 28th & Reed $2025move-in 215.365.4567

NATIONAL TROPICAL T350 2005 Brown, 3 slides, 350HP C7 CAT, 18000 mi $43,500, 814-531-5355 or email saspe990@yahoo.com

P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R | J U N E 7 - J U N E 1 3 , 2 0 1 2 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T |

51st & Chester, 63rd & Arch, 25th & Clearfield, Hunting Park & Castor Ave, Share Kitch. & Bath, $375 & up, No sec dep, SSI OK. 215-758-7572

26xx Parrish 3BR/2.5BA $1,900+utils Townhouse, garage, rear yard, C/A, W/D, near transportation. Call 267-939-4959

Germantown 53xx Wakefield St: Huge rooms for rent w/ Cent. air, 215-852-2965

22nd & Indiana Ave $100/week Room in immaculate cond. 215-888-2476

25xx Ingersoll St. $75/week and up. Furnished. Call 215-687-2026

Washington Square West 4br/2.5ba $3300/mo. Attractive, Townhouse, cent. a/c, fireplace, sundeck, (609)790-4228

20xx East Victoria 3BR/1BA $700 No util. Ann. Avail. July 1st. July rent is FREE. Extras: backyd, garbage disposal, washing machine, pets. Near Aramingo/ Castor Aves. First/last rent & sec deposit. (negotiable) View home June 3rd from 11am to 8pm. whitecha@gmail.com 301-725-3556 2, 3br Voucher: Section 8 Welcome 8xx E. Hilton, renovated, W/D, near El. $800/month. Call 215-206-4582 31xx Hartville St. 3br/1ba $600+utils nice size house, new paint 215-327-2292 32xx N Philip 3br/1ba $690+utils wall/wall carpets, porch. 215-836-1960 32XX Rorer St. 2BR/1BA $715+ util Newly remodeled home with many quality improvements. Huge fenced in back yard with many security features. *1st, Last, and 2 Security Deposits moves you in! Call Mr. Scott (267) 258-7637 6xx Wensley Nice 2BR Porch, 215-839-9211 / 732-267-2190 938 E. Tioga lrg 3BR/1BA $780+utils Call (215)817-1858 Aurora St. (Allegheny & Clearfield) 3br $750+utils, Close to schools, renovated, enclosed porch, back yard, new kitchen, carpet & tile. Call 201-321-0543

classifieds

1xx W Phila. area, 55th & Pine, $125/wk, cable included (267)333-1420.

Fairmont Park area $110/week use of entire house, Call 215-715-4215

homes for rent

the naked city | feature | a&e | the agenda | food

apartment marketplace

VASCULAR SURGEON Wilkes-Barre, PA

The Department of Veterans Affairs Medical Center is currently accepting applications for full-time, board certified or board eligible Vascular Surgeon with endovascular training. Will also consider board certified or board eligible Thoracic Surgeon with vascular and endovascular training with current experience. The VA Medical Center of WilkesBarre is a Level II complexity level facility that is affiliated with the Commonwealth Medical College (clinical faculty appointment available); recently opened a state of the art Cardiac Lab/ Interventional Suite equipped with the latest technology; and state of the art Intensive Care Unit with ARK/CIS. We have 24/7 Hospitalist staff; excellent and highly skilled Nursing staff; and Board Certified Interventional Radiologist on staff. In addition to an attractive salary, we offer paid, vacation/sick leave, health and life insurance coverage and an attractive retirement package including a tax deferred savings plan. We are located within a two hour drive to New York City, Philadelphia, and the New Jersey Shore. We are close to beautiful Pocono ski resorts and excellent outdoor summer activity locations. Interested applicants must submit the following information: Application for Physicians, Dentists, Podiatrists, Optometrists and Chiropractors, VAF 10-2850; Declaration for Federal Employment, OF306; Resume/Curriculum Vitae.

46 | P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R |

J U N E 7 - J U N E 1 3 , 2 0 1 2 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T

For additional info please call (570) 824-3521, EXTENSION 7209. Please mail your complete application package to: DEPT. OF VETERANS AFFAIRS Medical Center (05) 1111 East End Boulevard Wilkes-Barre, PA 18711 VA IS AN EOE

CDL Courier Drivers Philadelphia

Immediate need for owner operators with a 26ft refrigerated straight truck over 26,001 lbs. Scheduled routes. Dynamex is seeking Independent Contractors to deliver 5 to 6 days per week in a recession proof commodity. Previous courier experience preferred. Must pass Criminal Background check, MVR and a drug test. Call 877-831-2461

Class A Drivers Langhorne, PA

Immediate openings at Pumpernickel Express for night delivery of auto parts Must have 3 yrs exp. w/clean CDL. Please Call 877-849-0990

Janitorial Supervisor Center City

FT/PT supervisors for Center City Sidewalk Cleaning Operations. Good starting sal w/ benefits Applicants MUST meet the following requirements: ∂ Excellent communication skills ∂ Minimum 2 years managerial or supervisory experience ∂ Able to work outdoors weekends & holidays ∂ Valid PA driver license a must Fax resume to: (215) 440-7155 EOE. NO PHONE CALLS

Chief Financial Officer Levittown, PA

BA or BS in Business Management or Finance. Criminal Background Check, Child Abuse Check, and FBI clearances are req’d. Call Marcia 215-269-2600 EOE

Busy Hatboro, PA shop

Apply in person: As The Fur Flies Rosemore Shopping Center, 983 W. County Line Rd, Hatboro, PA

Berwyn, PA

This Sat, June 9th

9AM TIL 5PM AROUND THE BLOCK AT

Inside Technical Sales / Administrative Support Swedesboro, NJ

Reports To: USA Sales Manager. Scientific Instrument Company requires Inside Technical Sales and support person. Min. 3 - 4 years experience in Technical Sales and/or support. College with chemistry / spectroscopy background helpful but will consider individual with laboratory experience in other disciplines. Must be able to work independently in professional environment. Email: Bob.sirpak@specac.com

National Accounts Manager Norristown, PA

Rondo- Pak printing specialist with focus in the Pharmaceutical industry has immediate openings for sales representatives in the North East Region. The primary responsibility of this position will be development and management of a designated territory with the goal of maximizing sales This role is responsible for identifying and developing business relationships within targeted Pharmaceutica Companies. The successful candidates must have µ A minimum of five years packaging sales experience in the pharmaceutical industry µ Excellent presentation & selling skills, & a strong business acumen µ Ability to travel as necessary Attractive compensation and benefits package offered. Please email your resume to hyhap@rondo-pak.com

Get better matches to your job opportunities with unprecedented efficiency.

Accounting Professional American Freedom Assurance, Inc. headquartered in Berwyn, PA, is seeking an accounting professional for accounts payable/receivable, payroll, and month-end reconciliations. 5 years experience and accounting degree required. CPA preferred. Candidate will need to build financial models to include cost center reviews, annualized budgets, various what if scenarios, just to name a few. Strong excel skills a must. AFA is an EOE. Email resumes hr@afatitle.com or fax to 610-441-7560.

Dog Groomer Needed

3/54( 342%%4 &,%! -!2+%4

www.PhilaFleaMarkets.org

begin here-Become an Aviation Maintenance Tech. FAA approved training. Financial aid if qualified-Housing available. Job placement assistance. CALL Aviation Institute of Maintenance 888834-9715.

WANTED UNEXPIRED DIABETIC TEST STRIPS: Up to $26.00/Box. PRE-PAID SHIPPING LABELS. Hablamo Espanol. 1-800-266-0702 www. SellDiabeticStrips.com

Automotive Marketplace CASH FOR CARS

ANY CAR/Truck. Running or Not! Top Dollar Paid. We Come to You! Call for Instant Offer. 1-888-420-3808 www. cash4car.com REMOVE JUNK CARS

We buy junk cars/trucks. $350 cash paid, guaranteed. Free

WALK THE TALK FASHION EVENT

Presented by Young, Hip Chic & PNK Elephant Accessories. This event brings together fashionistas from Philly, NY, NJ & DE. Shoes, accessories and beauty products from sponsors! Email walkthetalkofficial@gmail.com.

PennSCAN CLASS-A DRIVERS

Regional up to 42 CPM. Weekly pay, Benefits, Home Time, Sign ON BONUS, Paid Orientation. 2 Years T/T EXP, 800-524-5051 www.gomvilvaine.com EARN COLLEGE DEGREE ONLINE

Medical, Business, Criminal Justice, Job Placement assistance. Computer available. Financial Aid if qualified. SCHEV Certified. Call 888220-3984. www.Centuraonline.com HELP WANTED - DRIVERS

CDL -A DRIVERS NEEDED! Up to $3,000 Sign-on Bonus for Qualified Drivers! 6 mo OTR exp. req’d. CALL OR APPLY ONLINE 877-521-5775 www.USATRUCK.jobs

ME

To learn more or to find the right person for your job, visit your local partner at philly.com/monster

Get better matches to your job opportunities with unprecedented efficiency.

Special Price! $45/hr. Call (215)-873-4835. 1218 Chestnut St.

ADOP

TO HIS FAMILY, HE WORKS IN HR. TO HIS COMPANY, HE’S THE REASON THEY GREW FROM 4 EMPLOYEES TO 84 WITHOUT MISSING A BEAT.

REGULAR MASSAGE THERAPY

Home Services

AIRLINE CAREERS

WANTED TO BUY

215 - 625 - FLEA (3532)

Business Services

Public Notices

SAWMILLS from only $3,997MAKE MONEY & SAVE MONEY with your own bandmill-Cut lumber any dimension. In stock ready to ship. FREE info & DVD: www.norwoodsawmills. com/300N 1-800-578-1363 Ext. 300N.

More Info:

FOR OUR COMPLETE SUMMER SCHEDULE. PROCEEDS BENEFIT SEGER PLAYGROUND

Are you pregnant? A childless married couple seeks to ADOPT. Financial security. Expenses paid. Call Christine & Norbert. Ask for Michelle/ Adam 1-800-790-5260.

SAWMILLS

10TH & SOUTH STREETS Rain Date - Sunday

Log Onto

ADOPTION

PHOTO BY NEAL SANTOS

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jobs

towing, same day pick up. 215809-3855

Adoptions

WILLIS!

T

I’m Willis, a handsome boy who’d like to go home with you! I’m a 1-2 year old Shih Tzu who was found as a stray. I’m quite an affectionate little guy with lots of love to give! Once I get to know you, I want nothing more than to curl up in your lap. I’m a big fan of toys and especially love playing fetch. Will you give me the home I’ve been waiting for?

Located on the corner of 2nd and Arch.

All PAWS animals are spayed/neutered, vaccinated, and microchipped before adoption. For more information, call 215-238-9901 ext. 30 or email adoptions@phillypaws.org

JOIN MARTEN TRANSPORT: REgional RUns available! More HOMETIME & EARNING POWER; EXCELLENT PAY & BENEFITS! Recent increase on AUTOMATIC DETENTION PAY! Plus: FLEX FLEET opportunities>> 4 Days on, 4 Days OFF! < OR >> 7 DAYS ON, 7 DAYS OFF! < 866-3704469 www.drive4marten.com CDL-A, 6 mons exp. required EEOE/AAP HELP WANTED DRIVER

Help Wanted – General A TRAVEL JOB

Now Hiring; No Experience Necessary. Will train. Must be 18+ and free to travel. Apply @ www.startsalesjobtoday.com or call 215-327-4377 H/AC/REFRIGERATION

DRIVERS NEEDED! Dedicated Freight up to 43 CPM to start. Great Miles. Class A CDL Required. Phones answered on Sunday! Call now (866) 204-0648

H/AC/Refrigeration Instructor needed for building trades training program. Must have at least 3 years field experience. FT, M-F, 7:30am -3:30pm, excellent benefits! To apply send resume attn “HACR” to jobs@jevs.org or fax 215-255-4791 or call 215728-4454. EOE.

HELP WANTED DRIVERS

HELP WANTED DRIVER

HELP WANTED DRIVER

Drivers: Great pay, quarterly safety bonus. Hometime choices. Steady freight, full or part-time. Safe, clean, modern trucks. CDL-A, 3 months current OTR experience. 800-4149569 www.driveknight.com INTERNET

Bundle & Save on your CABLE, INTERNET PHONE & MORE. High Speed Internet starting at less than $20/mo. CALL NOW! 1-800-314-9361 LAND FOR SALE

WATERFRONT PROPERTY SALE, NY: 8 acres waterfront home $99,900. 5 acres West Bass Pond $19,900. 5 Acres Deer Creek Forest $14,900. Financing available. www. landfirstNY.com 1-888-6832626 MISC/PERSONALS

Meet SIngles right now! No paid operators, just real people like you. Browse greetings, exchange messages and connect live. Try it for free. Call 1-800914-8742 OVER 18?

Seeking 1st phenomenal opportunity to earn Big $$$? Travel with young successful business group. No experience Necessary. Paid Training. Transportation /Lodging Provided. 1-877646-5050.

COMPUTER SYSTEMS ANALYSTS

PricewaterhouseCoopers, LLP has an opportunity for the following position in Philadelphia, PA Sr. Associate. Reqs. recent exp w/in the following: Exp w/SAP applic based solutions w/proficiency in 1 or more SAP modules; Exp consulting, designing, implementing & contributing as a functional

HELP WANTED DRIVER

Drivers-CDL-A DRIVERS NEEDED! Up to $3,000 SignOn Bonus for Qualified Drivers! 6 mo OTR exp. req’d. CALL OR APPLY ONLINE 877-521-5775 www.USATRUCK.jobs HELP WANTED DRIVER

Drivers: Sign On Bonus $2000$7500. Solo & Teams. 1 year OTR. CDL-A- Hazmat Up to .513 877-628-3748 www. driveNCTrans.com HELP WANTED DRIVER

NEW TO TRUCKING? Your new career starts now! *$0 Tuition Cost *No Credit Check *Great Pay & Benefits. Short employment commitment required. Call: (866) 447-0377 www.joinCRST.com HELP WANTED!!!

Make money Mailing brochures from home! FREE Supplies! Helping Home-Workers since 2001! Genuine Opportunity! No experience required. Start immediately! www.theworkhub.net $$$HELP WANTED$$$

Extra Income! Assembling CD cases from Home! No Experience Necessary! Call our Live Operator Now! 1-800-405-7619 Ext. 2450 http://www.easyworkgreatpay.com INSURANCE AGENT

$10/hr or commission. Day and Evening shifts. Call for an interview. 215-753-1310 ROUTE 6 NOW HIRING LINE COOKS

VICE PRESIDENT

Wells Fargo has an opening for VP -Global Financial Institutions Asia Area Data Coordinator in Philadelphia, PA. Ensure completion of full due financial diligence files for each customer in the region, meeting all deadlines. Send resume to James Clancy, Regional Manager, One South Broad Street, 6th Floor, Philadelphia, PA 19107-3426. Ref job code 200509 KJB.

Situations Wanted

Homes

Newly Renovated Modern 3 Bedroom, Hardwood Floors, New Carpet, New Tile Kitchen & Bath, Fridge, W/D,Yard. $795. Call Pete: 267-307-0371

26

34

By Matt Jones

Just Renovated, New Kitchen, New Bathroom, New Hardwood Floors, Fridge, Washer/Dryer, Garbage Disposal, $950. Call Pete: 267-307-0371 6XX MCCLELLAN STREET

JOB WANTED LOOK!!!

I am looking for work...I am a General Helper that can do anything. You name it.... reliable dependable morning person. Frank 267-9180516.

Modern 3 Bedroom Home, Hardwood Floors, Ceramic Tiled Bathroom & Kitchen, Newly Carpeted Bedrooms, Washer, Fridge, $795/month. Call Pete: 267307-0371

Land/ Lots for Sale

Roommates

LAND FOR SALE

ALL AREAS-ROOMATES. COM

Upstate NY Land Sale “Sportman Bargain” 3 acres w/cozy cabin, Close access to Oneida Lake -$17,995. “Large River” -over 900 ft. 18 acres along fishing/swimming river -$49,995. “Timberland Investment” -90 acres deer sanctuary, beautiful timber studs, small creaek -$99,995. Over 100 new properties. Call 800-229-7843 Or visit landandcamps.com LAND FOR SALE

Virginia Seaside Lots: Spectacular 3+ acre estate lots in exclusive development on the seaside (the mainland) overlooking Chincoteague Bay and islands and ocean beyond. Gated entrance, paved roads, caretaker, community dock, pool and club house including owners guest suites. Build the house of your dreams! Unique bank foreclosure situation makes these lots available at 1/3 or original cost. Great climate, low taxes and National Seashore beaches nearby. Only $49,000 to $65,000. For info call (757) 824-5284 email: oceanlandtrust@yahoo.com, pictures on website: www. corbinhall.com

Resort/ Vacation Property for Sale VACATION RENTALS

OCEAN CITY, MARYLAND. Best selection of affordable rentals. Full/partial weeks. Call for FREE brochure. Open daily. Holiday Real Estate.1-800-6382102 Online reservations: www. holidayoc.com.

Apartments for Rent ?? GOT BED BUGS ??

All areas - Best rates! 267994-4815

Browse hundreds of online listings with photos and maps. Find your roommate with a click of the mouse! Visit: http://www. Roommates.com.

Rental Wanted APARTMENT WANTED FOR MYSELF!

I am currently looking in Center City a one or two bedroom 1st floor front or Rent vacant unit rented. 2 months down. Older male. Ask for Frank 267-918-0516.

Vacation/ Seasonal Rental BRIGANTINE

Pets OK. Available 6/10-6/17 $975; 6/17-6/24 $1150; July/ August $1350/week; 9/2-9/9 $1025; 9/9-9/16 $925. www. BrigB.com 856-217-0025 JULY & AUGUST QV TRINITY

Pleasant Trinity on (mostly) quiet alley with one bedroom in heart of Queen Village. Rear yard, airy bedroom, den, full kitchen w/Dacor range, washer/dryer, Jenn-Air Fridge, Dishwasher, fully equipped. Available July 1 - August 31. $825 per month. $300 utility cost deposit. Discount for full payment. WARNING: A Trinity is tiny and unique, top floor bedroom, small den and bathroom on second floor, living room on first. Basement with kitchen and light shaft. The 1850s stairway treads are small, uneven and irregular.. Please consider your physical agility when considering this rental. REPLIES W/O PHONE NUMBERS AND SOME PERSONAL DETAILS WILL BE DELETED South Third Street at Queen Street

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@2?C602@

Torchia & Associates

CONCIERGE LEGAL SERVICES GENERAL PRACTICE – ESTATE & TAX PLANNING

215.670.9535

32 35

“PRETTY CHEESY” — BUT NOT QUITE THE SAME

36

WWW.MAMBOMOVERS.COM

27 31

5XX PORTER STREET (SOUTH PHILLY)

2 years of experience in a high volume/fine dining establishment. Send resume to marc. oppen@starr-restaurant.com

GENTLY MOVING YOUR EARTHLY POSSESSIONS

jonesin’

22

4XX HOFFMAN (PENNSPORT AREA)

1420 Walnut Street, Suite 1216 215-546-1950; watorchia@gmail.com www.generallawfirm.com

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Crawls, for example Wrapped item Mac Words said while smacking your forehead Namesakes of a Gilbert and Sullivan princess Former Israeli prime minister Olmert Prank where you pour seasoning over the captain of the football team? Review on Yelp, e.g. ___ the DJ, I’m the Rapper (1988 album) “There’s ___ in the bottom of the sea” Jean-Pierre Rampal’s instrument ___-ball (arcade rolling game) Danced ungracefully Rodin work Update the decor Get ready for a bodybuilding competition Area where everything feels like a Utah city? Mass ___ (Boston thoroughfare, to locals) Historic French town (anagram of LUCY N.) Icelandic band Sigur ___ Rampart for rebels? Typeface units Food for pigs Letter-shaped house Jeer toward a play’s villain Arduous journey History Channel show that follows

loggers in the Pacific Northwest 51 Condescend 53 Org. that was fined over a “wardrobe malfunction” 56 Construction beam 57 Emile’s lesser known author brother? 59 Seaweed, in sushi bars 60 It’s under a toddler’s Band-Aid 61 Like actor Michael Emerson of Lost, by birth 62 Ashy 63 Cash register section 64 Former Israeli prime minister Meir

31 32 33 34 35 37

✚ DOWN

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1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 16 18 22 23 25 26 27 28

Jr., last year “This is fun!” Little devils Treasure hunt need Get closer, really quietly “And knowing is half the battle” cartoon Show for Lopez and Tyler, for short Order from a mug shot photographer “For shame!” noise The Aristocats kitten, or his composer namesake Hector Company with orange and white vans Montana city Monopoly card Taekwondo great Jhoon ___ Sorrowful Portuguese folk music Disco ___ (The Simpsons character) Eugene of American Reunion Fly with the eagles Record for later “Break ___!”

✚ ©2012 Jonesin’ Crosswords (editor@jonesincrosswords.com)

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Falls into a chair haphazardly Play that introduced the term “robot” Aquatic killer Linguist Chomsky In ___ (at heart) Business execs in charge of the numbers Welcome, like the new year Tiger’s ex German coin, before adopting the euro Bug Jason’s ship ___ Capital (company founded by Mitt Romney) Extreme curve in a river Actress Kate of Dynasty They’re influenced by the moon Ohio’s Great Lake Poultry Decked out (in) Jesus’s water-into-wine city Slimy stuff Chaotic situation

LAST WEEK’S SOLUTION

P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R | J U N E 7 - J U N E 1 3 , 2 0 1 2 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T | 47

Help Wanted – Regional

Class-A Team Drivers-Dedicated runs to Mor ton, IL. $1,000/week. $500 Sign On Bonus. Home Weekly. Consistent Miles/Freight. Day one medical. 866-331-3335. www. drivecrst.com

or Apply in person M-F, 2-4pm, EOE

classifieds

AVERITT has a Great opportunity for CDL-A Drivers! Home EVERY week/Full Benefits! 4-months T/T experience Required. Apply Now! 888-3628608 Visit AVERITTcareers. com Equal opportunity Employer

team member.Travel req. up to 80%. Reqs. incl. Master’s deg in Comp Sci, Info Mgt, Info Tech, or rel & 1 yr recent exp. Mail resume to Attn: HR SSC/ Talent Mgt, 3109 W. MLK Jr. Blvd., Tampa, FL 33607, Ref #PHIDKA. Must be legally authorized to work in the U.S. w/out sponsorship. EOE

the naked city | feature | a&e | the agenda | food

HELP WANTED - DRIVERS

billboard [ C I T Y PA P E R ]

JUNE 7 - JUNE 13, 2012 CALL 215-735-8444

Building Blocks to Total Fitness 41035:4 $"'c featuring the girls of

=>36/>>9 AC’S NEWEST HOT SPOT

B= 3<B3@) B= 0@7<5

Bachelor Party Headquarters All Nude, All The Time Home Of The 5 min. Lap Dance 8:00pm – 5:00am

5)634%": ° 4"563%":

Nowi n g H iO\rQS`aa S a R abSa V]

185 South Carolina Ave. Atlantic City (South Carolina & Boardwalk)

609-340-8820 NOW HIRING DANCERS

12 Years of experience. Offering personal fitness training, nutrition counseling, and flexibility training. Specialize in osteoporosis, injuries, special needs. In home or at 12th Street Gym. MCKFitness@yahoo.com

I BUY RECORDS, CD’S, DVD’S

TOP PRICES PAID. No collection too small or large! We buy everything! Call Jon at 215-805-8001 or e-mail dingo15@hotmail.com

MAKE THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE GET A TATTOO!

STUDY GUITAR W/ THE BEST David Joel Guitar Studio All Styles All Levels. Former Berklee faculty member. Masters Degree with 27 yrs. teaching experience. 215.831.8640 www.myphillyguitarlessons.com

Happy hour everyday even weekends - from 5-7. 1/2 price on all 6 taps! Check out our upstairs game room with pool, darts, and some classic arcade games. On the corner of 10th & Watkins Streets in South Philly.

FRANKINSTIEN BIKE WORX

½ PRICED DRAFTS

MEET OR BEAT ANY PRICE! (with ad or coupon) 1529 Spruce Street. Philadelphia 215-893-0415

Azuka Theatre Presents HAZARD COUNTY

17 Rotating Drafts Close to 200 Bottles

www.devilsdenphilly.com www.facebook.com/devilsdenphiladelphia www.twitter.com/devilsdenphilly

City Paper is very pleased to bring you our very first smartphone app! Just go to www.citypaper.net and click our martini glass icon to find out more, or type in ‘Happy Hours in the app store, android marketplace, or blackberry app world. Click the orange martini icon and get drinking. No matter where you go or when you go, you can find the nearest happy hours to you with a single click! You can even sort through bars by preference or neighborhood.

PHILADELPHIA EDDIES 621 South 4th St. Tattoo Haven (MIDDLE of Tattoo Row) 215-922-7384 open 7 DAYS

WATKIN’S DRINKERY

WEEKDAYS 5-7PM

FREE DRINKING SMARTPHONE APP!!!

6/14 – 7/1 @ Off-Broad Street Theater www.azukatheatre.org

Learn the Art of Rock

Guitar, Bass and Drum Lessons Rock Band Camp All Summer Long www.rawku.com - East Falls Call Daniel @ 215.844.7295

FRIDAY:

PEX VS PLAYLOOP LEE MAYJAHS? & DJ EVERYDAY

SATURDAY:

DJ DEEJAY

SUNDAY:

SUNDAE PM

WITH HECTOR ROMERO Open every day 4pm - 2am Sat & Sun Brunch 10am - 4pm 5th & Spring Garden www.silkcityphilly.com

TEQUILA SUNRISE RECORDS

525 West Girard Ave VINYL AND CD SPECIALISTS CLASSIC & MODERN GLOBAL SOUNDS HOUSE TECHNO DUBSTEP DUB DISCO FUNK SOUL JAZZ DIY PUNK LSD ROCK AND LIGHT HARMONY ROOTS BLUES NOISE AVANT AND MORE TUESDAY-SUNDAY 12-6PM 01-215-965-9616

Are You Bored? Lonely? Or Not Understood? We’re HERE!

Your Super Massage Genie! 1 Call and POOF! We land at your front doorstep! Massage, Quality Company, Quality Time, etc, Your location, 24:7 A Good Listening Ear with Your Next Massage, By Someone Ultra-Intelligent & Highly Diversified! OUT-CALL. At Your Service! Call: 215-552-9517 www.EdenLove.FriendlyNow.com

Fashion Fetish?

200+ steel boned corsets in stock size S-8XL Rubber-Leather-KiltsMore by 26 designers. PASSIONAL Boutique 704 S. 5th St. Noon-10PM, 7 days a week www.passionalboutique.com

SEMEN DONORS NEEDED

Healthy, College Educated Men 18-39 ~ $150/Sample WWW.123DONATE.COM

NEW AT THE EL BAR!!!

KENSINGTON HAPPY MEAL! EVERY DAY UNTIL 7PM 2 ALL BEEF HOT DOGS A PBR POUNDER A BAG OF CHIPS AND A TOY ALL FOR $5

HAPPY HOUR AT THE DIVE FREE PIZZA! $2 BEER OF THE WEEK! $2 WELL DRINKS! IT’S AMAZING! PASSYUNK AVE (7th & CARPENTER) 215-465-5505 myspace.com/thedivebar

VICTOR WOOTEN

New Band - New Album New Sound! FRI,. JUNE 8, 8PM KESWICK THEATRE Easton Rd. & Keswick Ave. Glenside (3 blocks from SEPTA Regional Rail) 215-572-7650 www/keswicktheatre.com

Save. Give. Share. Earn.

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a referral customer for North American Power LLC

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