Philadelphia City Paper, June 21st, 2012

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cpstaff We made this

Publisher Nancy Stuski Editor in Chief Theresa Everline Senior Editor Patrick Rapa News Editor Samantha Melamed Web Editor/Movies Editor Josh Middleton Arts Editor/Copy Chief Emily Guendelsberger Senior Writer Isaiah Thompson Staff Writer Daniel Denvir Assistant Copy Editor Carolyn Wyman Contributors Sam Adams, A.D. Amorosi, Janet Anderson, Rodney Anonymous, Mary Armstrong, Nancy Armstrong, Meg Augustin, Justin Bauer, Shaun Brady, Chris Brown, Peter Burwasser, Anthony Campisi, Ryan Carey, Jane Cassady, Mark Cofta, Felicia D’Ambrosio, Jesse Delaney, Adam Erace, M.J. Fine, David Anthony Fox, Michael Gold, K. Ross Hoffman, Brian Howard, Deni Kasrel, Gary M. Kramer, Drew Lazor, Gair “Dev 79” Marking, Robert McCormick, Andrew Milner, Cassie Owens, Michael Pelusi, Nathaniel Popkin, Courtney Sexton, Lee Stabert, Tom Tomorrow, Char Vandermeer, John Vettese, Bruce Walsh, Julia West, Brian Wilensky Editorial Interns Madeline Bates, Michael Blancato, Jodi Bosin, Frida Garza, Katie Linton, Anna Merriman, Brittany Thomas, Nina Willbach, Andrew Wimer Associate Web Editor/Staff Photographer Neal Santos Production Director Michael Polimeno Editorial Art Director Reseca Peskin Senior Designer Evan M. Lopez Editorial Designers Brenna Adams, Matt Egger Contributing Photographers Jessica Kourkounis, Mark Stehle Contributing Illustrators Ryan Casey, Don Haring Jr., Joel Kimmel, Cameron K. Lewis, Thomas Pitilli, Matthew Smith Human Resources Ron Scully (ext. 210) Office Manager/Sales Coordinator/Financial Coordinator Tricia Bradley (ext. 232) Circulation Director Mark Burkert (ext. 239) Senior Account Managers Nick Cavanaugh (ext. 260), Sharon MacWilliams (ext. 262), Stephan Sitzai (ext. 258) Account Managers Sara Carano (ext. 228), Chris Scartelli (ext. 215), Donald Snyder (ext. 213) Marketing/Online Coordinator Jennifer Francano (ext. 252) Office Coordinator/Adult Advertising Sales Alexis Pierce (ext. 234) Sales Intern Chelsee Lebowitz Founder & Editor Emeritus Bruce Schimmel

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citypaper.net 123 Chestnut Street, Third Floor, Phila., PA 19106. 215-735-8444, Tip Line 215-7358444 ext. 241, Letters to the Editor editorial@citypaper.net, Listings Fax 215-8751800, Classified Ads 215-248-CITY, Advertising Fax 215-735-8535, Subscriptions 215-735-8444 ext. 235 Philadelphia City Paper is published and distributed every Thursday in Philadelphia, Montgomery, Chester, Bucks & Delaware Counties, in South Jersey and in Northern Delaware. Philadelphia City Paper is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. Additional copies may be purchased from our main office at $1 per copy. No person may, without prior written permission from Philadelphia City Paper, take more than one copy of each issue. Pennsylvania law prohibits any person from inserting printed material of any kind into any newspaper without the consent of the owner or publisher. Contents copyright © 2012, Philadelphia City Paper. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced without written permission from the publisher. Philadelphia City Paper assumes no obligation (other than cancellation of charges for actual space occupied) for accidental errors in advertising, but will be glad to furnish a signed letter to the buying public.

contents Doors closing.

Naked City ...................................................................................6 Arts & Entertainment.........................................................18 Movies.........................................................................................25 The Agenda ..............................................................................27 Food & Drink ...........................................................................34 COVER PHOTOGRAPH BY NEAL SANTOS DESIGN BY RESECA PESKIN

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the thebellcurve CP’s Quality-o-Life-o-Meter

[ +2 ]

A man is arrested for throwing a Diet Coke through the window of U.S. Rep. Bob Brady’s South Philly office. Could this be the work of Big Soda?

[ +1 ]

Mitt Romney stops by two Wawas on a campaign swing through Pennsylvania. And twice he’s mistaken for one of those machines you use to order a sandwich.

[ +2 ]

In the midst of a dismal season,the Phila­ delphia Union fire their coach, Peter Nowak.The Philadelphia Union is a team of soccer players, BTW.

[ -4 ]

It’s Our Money finds that for four years the city paid for the utilities of two eateries owned by politically connected business­ man Michael Karloutsos.It’s Our Money is some sort of a blog, apparently.

[ +1 ]

The Philadelphia Soul clinch home­field advantage for the playoffs. The Phila­ delphia Soul is some sort of singing competition, maybe? Or it’s people who hunt ghosts? We’ll look it up.

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[ -2 ]

A45­year­oldgrandmotherinKensingtonis sentenced to 57 months in prison for deal­ ing prescription drugs near her grandson’s school. “I hope I get out of jail before my great­grandchildren are born,” she says. “I want to sell them pills.” Five­timeWingBowlchampionElWingador is busted for dealing cocaine. Say it ain’t so, El. You used to be a hero in this city. Like Rocky, if that were a movie about a guy who was really good at not puking.

[ -2 ]

A man shot nine times is charged with lying to a grand jury about the incident. “Sorry about that,” he says.“Just trying to avoid getting shot nine more times.”

[ -1 ]

Police say last week’s yacht­sinking hoax in New Jersey is part of a trend wherein people crank call 911 with elaborate stories. Word to the wise: If you’ve got an emergency, keep it simple.

[ +1 ]

Reading Terminal Market installs the “Rick Nichols Room”to honor the recently retired Inquirer columnist. “I live here now,” says Nichols.

This week’s total: -4 | Last week’s total: -6

evan M. loPez

[ decimation ]

zeroed out If you think Philly has a homeless crisis now, just wait. Cuts to programs keeping people in their homes could put thousands more at risk. By Samantha Melamed

T

he crisis in Philly school funding has sent hundreds of protesters into the streets and consumed thousands of reams of newsprint. Yet another funding crisis in Philadelphia — quietly distilled into a new fiscal plan over the past few months and approved without amendment by City Council last week — could prove equally devastating. This off-the-radar disaster includes a 20 percent reduction in federal and state funding for things like homelessness prevention, basic housing repair, utility assistance, community development, rental assistance and rapid rehousing. In recent weeks, the organizations that stand between some of Philly’s most vulnerable residents and homelessness, joblessness or — in the case of the elderly — institutionalization have been learning how, exactly, they can expect to be affected in the fiscal year beginning July 1. And the impact is dizzying. Thanks to a steep 17 percent cut to Philly’s Community Development Block Grant (CDBG) funding to $38.345 million — and due to the city’s decisions about how to mete out that pain — some programs will have to slash the number of people they can serve; others expect to close down altogether. The result, service providers fear, could be an increase in evictions

and even more pressure on already-overwhelmed homeless shelters. “All of those safety nets for poor people are disappearing, and I think more and more people will turn to the homeless system as a refuge than ever before,” says Dainette Mintz, director of Philly’s Office of Supportive Housing. “unfortunately, the homeless system is pretty much at full capacity. ... [It] can’t make up for the reductions in affordable housing and reductions in utility assistance.” One of those safety nets is the utility emergency Services Fund (ueSF). The organization uses its CDBG money to help extremely low-income Philly residents pay their utilities; those grants are often key to keeping residents in their homes. “We serve 5,000 families a year,” says ueSF executive director John Rowe. “not this year, though.” ueSF’s funding, already reduced last year, is being cut again — down $455,000 from fiscal 2008-11 — and Rowe says there can be only one outcome: 1,200 families will have their utilities shut off. “ueSF is the last resort, so if we don’t help there is no help,” he says. utility shutoffs, he says, are often followed by homelessness. And sheltering homeless families costs far more than utility assistance. Alan Mathis, 57, of West Philly, knows how critical this service is. He receives federal disability income, but after his wife passed away, the funeral expenses sent him hurtling toward eviction. “I called everyone I could think of; I never got through to anyone,” he says. But ueSF “helped me get things back on track.” A few months of rent and utility assistance and budget counseling, he says, have

“All of those safety nets are disappearing.”

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enabled him to stabilize his finances. It’s a similar situation at Philadelphia Corporation for the Aging (PCA), which last year received $325,000 for its Senior Housing Assistance and Repair Program, providing stairway railings, intercoms and other critical safety upgrades that enable low-income seniors to stay in their homes. That funding has been totally eliminated. Holly Lange, senior vice president at PCA, says as a result the agency will provide repairs for 100 fewer people next year. “We already have a waiting list of about 400 people, so the waiting list is just going to grow,” she says. Some of those people are also on the waiting list for the city’s Basic Systems Repair Program. But that list is even longer: It averages about 6,500 very low-income people, each waiting approximately three and a half years. PCA — which serves about 15,000 people through senior centers and other services — receives much of its funding through the state lottery. So while it will cut its programs, it won’t disappear. The same cannot be said for Philadelphia neighborhood Housing Services (PnHS), which helps around 450 to 500 people each year. PnHS serves people who are wait-listed for the city’s repair program and those with no other means of getting assistance. Both of PnHS’ city funding line-items — $257,000 for loan assistance for homeowners who don’t qualify anywhere else and $150,000 for facade improvements — have been zeroed out. executive director Bernard Hawkins says PnHS’ facade-improvement program was unique in that it focused funding on one neighborhood at a time, aiming to turn back blight and effect stabilization. In the ’90s, PnHS went into Fern Rock, offering support for homeimprovements while renovating 25 vacant properties. “The outcome is that the neighborhood was preserved. Property values when we

started were in the $40,000 to $45,000 range, and now you’re probably looking at … double that.” Recently, PnHS was targeting Cobbs Creek — but projects there have been stopped in their tracks. Hawkins, speaking before the plan passed, said PnHS — which has been serving Philly since 1975 — would not likely survive the decimation of its budget. He’s worried about the homeowners still waiting for assistance, in houses badly in need of repair. “If our funding is cut and we don’t exist anymore, right now I don’t know that there’s anyone else … to take our place. We’re the only ones in the city doing that right now, and those programs will go away.” ueSF is trying hard to fill the gaps — or the handful of gaps it can reach. It’s piloting a one-stop program for housing stabilization, combining case management with rental and utility assistance, energyconservation advice, budget counseling and referrals. Recently, Rowe says, the pilot was able to help a family of six move out of the shelter system and into a home. Rowe is scrambling to raise funding to expand the program. But the gap in homelessness-prevention and rapid-rehousing monies in the city is yawning. July 1 marks the termination of a $21 million federal stimulus payout for such programs, which have helped thousands of Philadelphians in the last three years. There are no more federal homelessness-prevention dollars to be had; federal rapid-rehousing funding will total $1.2 million for the year ahead, Mintz says, resulting in “very much reduced” programming. Before City Council approved the plan, a councilmember thought to ask Office of Housing and Community Development director Debra McColloch: Was this really the best possible plan? Her answer: Given the circumstances, it’s the best the city could do. (samantha@citypaper.net)

“The waiting list will just grow.”

photostream ➤ submit to photostream@citypaper.net

Steve iveS FliCkr: Phillytrax

By Isaiah Thompson

A lAme excuse ➤ THIS WEEKEND, Philly newspapers addressed

a question that’s become unavoidable: Has Mayor Michael Nutter become a lame duck? The question follows the mayor’s failed attempt to convince City Council to pass the Actual Value Initiative. The legislative body didn’t reject the overhaul of Philly’s property-tax system that Nutter was banking on to bring in an extra $94 million for schools, but it delayed it a year.The AVI breakdown is the most recent of several mayoral failures, including two unsuccessful attempts to pass a soda tax. As his second term wears on, the mayor is more likely to lose clout than gain it. Calling Nutter a lame duck, though, may be giving him a pass. It almost implies he’s up against some force of nature, a black hole from whose pull no term-limited politician can escape. But not so fast. Nutter has, it’s true, come up against powerful forces of resistance within City Council and elsewhere. But politics is the art of compromise, diplomacy, concession. In fighting for the sugar-sweetened-beverage tax, Nutter was up against a powerful soda lobby — but also alienated allies within Council when he incorrectly assumed he had the nine votes needed to pass the tax. He fumed, according to inside accounts, as those votes dissipated, withdrawing from negotiations for hours before the final vote took place without him. Shortly before the AVI vote, state legislators blasted the mayor for assuming they’d help out with enabling legislation without having talked to them. Wounded egos? Sure, but the mayor must also be masseur. And, during the two — not one, but two — weeks when the AVI vote came to a head, Nutter was out of town, hanging out with the U.S. Conference of Mayors, of which he was just elected president. He jetted back to Philly to negotiate again at the last minute. Councilman James Kenney, often an ally, reported that Nutter’s pitch had been “You have to pass this.” When the vote went the other way, Nutter jetted back to his conference. Even in matters that don’t require Council, the mayor has sometimes been stymied by his own tin ear. Take his hasty ban on outdoor feeding of the homeless, a plan whose sloppiness became apparent over a matter of weeks as the mayor lost the support of leading homeless advocate Sister Mary Scullion, declined to enforce his own ban and drew a federal lawsuit. Meanwhile, the mayor’s call for more indoor meals seemed to vaporize quietly. Being a lame duck is, for a term-limit-bound politician, an inevitability — but not an excuse. Send feedback to isaiah.thompson@citypaper.net

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Philly Pastel

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[ seemed to vaporize quietly ]

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A T P E S Y H W G N I D A IS HE ASH R C A FOR

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EM IS T S Y S IT S N A ILLY’S TR H P EE. S T U N B A , P C U U IS O Y IP THAN Photos By Neal Santos S Y RIDERSH A W E R O vir | IN M By Daniel Den CRUMBLING

elf-hating Philadelphians love to complain about the city and its services. One of their favorite targets? The underrated, underfunded, enormous and, yes, aromatic Southeastern Pennsylvania Transportation Authority, known with strained affection as SEPTA. Linger even a few minutes around City Hall Station and it’s not hard to find a dissatisfied customer. “The subway is loud, smelly, full of rude people,” gripes Jackie Ross, a self-employed 50-year-old from South Philadelphia who has been riding public transit in the city for more than three decades. People smoke on platforms, leave half-eaten animal carcasses on seats and beat up drivers; in one infamous incident in 2011, two men indiscriminately strafed a bus full of people with gunfire over a verbal dispute that happened earlier on the route. Yet on a typical day, the long-underfunded system performs a small miracle: getting thousands of people where they need to go. Last year, SEPTA’s subways, trolleys, commuter rails and buses supplied nearly 334 million rides — its highest ridership in 22 years. However, the nation’s sixth-largest transit system is not contemplating expanding services to meet the growing demand. Instead, Republican hostility in Washington and Harrisburg is pushing SEPTA and other public-transit agencies nationwide to the brink of fiscal — and physical — ruin. “Service adjustments, service cuts, [hiking] fares, tightening the belt in-house — we’ll have to look at all those options,” says SEPTA chief financial officer Richard Burnfield. To avoid service cuts and ensure that ancient bridges don’t collapse, SEPTA is currently spending down its rainy-day fund. Next year, the agency projects a $38 million deficit, and predicts that will rise to an astonishing $160 million by 2018. Infrastructure, from commuter-rail bridges to the decrepit City Hall Station, is falling apart. SEPTA cannot afford to put building a world-class transit system on the agenda. “That [deficit is] a big number,” says Burnfield. “SEPTA needs a fix.” In Washington, the right-wing takeover of the Republican Party has placed mass transit in a tight fiscal headlock. Earlier this year, House conservatives proposed eliminating the 20 percent of federal transportation dollars dedicated to mass transit. They now insist that a new transportation-funding bill include an unrelated amendment to fast-track approval of the environmentally dangerous Keystone Pipeline and, in a symbolically rich gesture, bar the use of those federal dollars for bike lanes. Conservatives have long derided mass transit — like welfare, perceived to be the domain of poor urban black people — as a “socialistic program” imported from Europe. But recently, the hostility has gone off the rails: Tea Party activists around the country have been packing city halls to decry every-

thing from bike lanes to high-speed trains as part of a United Nations conspiracy to create a “one-world order.” So here we are: The last six-year bill funding highways and mass transit expired three years ago, and Congress has extended funds in small three- to six-month increments ever since. Current funding runs out on June 30. On the state level here in Pennsylvania, the situation is no better. In April 2011, Republican Gov.Tom Corbett convened a committee to study fixing the state transportation - funding system. Last August, the committee published its report. It proposed raising taxes paid by fuel distributors and increasing driver and vehicle fees to raise what the state has calculated to be $3.5 billion in urgently needed additional transportation spending, to climb to $7.2 billion in unfunded needs by 2020. Yet Corbett, a governor who has acted decisively to eviscerate the state’s public schools and make deep cuts to social services for the poor, took no action. In his February budget address, he announced that he would, once again, punt on the issue of transportation funding. Transportation, he said, “is not a budget item. It is too large for that. Transportation must be confronted as its own distinct and separate topic. This problem has grown for the past several decades, and it will not be solved overnight.”

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“Transit is a major socialjustice issue.” did a year earlier — 125.7 million additional trips. Last week, the Amalgamated Transit Union (ATU) and Good Jobs First announced the creation of Americans for Transit to fight cuts and help rider organizations protest nationwide. “Transit is a major social-justice issue of our day,” says ATU International president Larry Hanley. “Ridership is the highest in decades, but riders have suffered the worst wave of fare hikes and service cuts in postwar history.” “WE’RE GETTING THERE,” as locals know, is SEPTA’s slogan, often mocked for its defeatist undertone. Just five years ago, though, it seemed possible that the transit agency could truly arrive. Act 44 of 2007, a bill intended as a permanent fix for Pennsylvania’s perennial transportationfunding problem, was set to generate about $900 million in annual infrastructure funding. But though the bill passed, it had a fatal flaw: About half of that planned revenue was slated to come from new tolls on I-80, a move the Federal Highway Administration rejected. Three times. >>> continued on page 12

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Increasingly, it is unclear whether Corbett plans to solve it ever. Corbett’s “ideology is: He wants less government spending,” says state Sen. Mike Stack (D-Phila.), who has called for a special legislative session to pass a transportation funding measure. “That’s an easy thing to say; it’s an extremely difficult task to perform. He now understands that his own commission says that he’s behind on [transportation infrastructure] by billions of dollars. And it’s news that his ideology doesn’t want to accept.” Corbett, however, is not concerned with SEPTA’s plight. “It is incumbent upon SEPTA,” PennDOT spokeswoman Erin Waters tells City Paper, “to meet operational and safety requirements.” It might then be incumbent upon SEPTA to self-destruct. In Germantown, SEPTA’s Wayne Junction Substation looks like a museum of early-20th-century industrial technology. Unfortunately, the equipment, mostly dating to the 1930s, is not merely a historical artifact; it supplies power to SEPTA’s Doylestown, Warminster, West Trenton, Fox Chase, Chestnut Hill East and Norristown lines. SEPTA considers the station to be in urgent need of an overhaul, but has no funding to undertake it. An equipment failure could knock all six lines out of service and cause problems for several others. Just recently, Philly’s congressional delegation trumpeted the news that it had secured $12.8 million in federal Department of Transportation funding to update the substation — but even that windfall amounts to only half of what SEPTA says it needs. The bridges are also crumbling.The Media-Elwyn Line’s Crum Creek Viaduct, an architectural curiosity built in 1895, is now supported by corroding steel columns and cracked welding. It’s also considered to be beyond its useful life. In Center City, the entire subway network converges at City Hall Station. The subterranean complex connects two subway lines with SEPTA’s trolleys, but is also a cramped rabbit warren of tight, crumbling and dank corridors, inaccessible to disabled people, that has undergone no major renovation since its 1928 construction. The main access to the Broad Street Line is a couple of narrow stairwells that during rush hour feel like cattle chutes. SEPTA’s annual capital budget, says SEPTA chief engineer Jeff Knueppel, now stands near a woefully inadequate $300 million. The lack of long-term federal and state funding makes planning for big, expensive projects impossible, so the agency prioritizes patching the system’s wounds with what little funds they have. “We’re scrappy, we’re cheap, we’re innovative and we’re holding the system together now. But at some point, if we go with this little capital funding,” safety issues could slow train speeds and close commuter lines, he says. “What do we really need to be replacing things … and not necessarily even having much growth? It’s around $600 million.” Transit systems statewide — and around the country — are in crisis. Last year, nearly 80 percent of public transit systems hiked fares, cut service or considered doing so, according to the American Public Transportation Association. Meanwhile, questionable Wall Street debts continue to eat away at transit budgets. During the heady days of deregulated, pre-recession America, SEPTA — like school districts, cities and transit agencies around the country — took out interest-rate swaps on bonds to protect against high rates. But this backfired when the recession crashed interest rates, indebting taxpayers and transit riders to the same banks they had just bailed out. SEPTA, according to a recent report from the ReFund Transit Coalition, is paying $4 million a year to Bank of

America. The city of Philadelphia, which helps fund SEPTA, is paying $35 million to Bank of America, JPMorgan Chase, Citigroup and the Bank of Canada, having already paid $34 million to terminate a set of toxic swap deals with many of the aforementioned banks and Wells Fargo in 2010. Banks continue to profit from the Fed’s low interest rates and, more opaquely, also profit from the billions of dollars in interest-rate-swap payments. The study found that in the 12 regions surveyed — including New York, Chicago, Boston, San Francisco and Los Angeles — transit agencies lose more than $529 million each year to Wall Street. Anxious riders need only look west to Pittsburgh, where the Port Authority has paid tens of millions of dollars to cancel toxic swaps and is now set to eliminate nearly half of its 102 bus lines and hike fares. DialAmerica has delayed plans to open a new 150-person call center in the city, according to a recent article in the Wall Street Journal, because the company fears that employees wouldn’t be able to get to work. Nonetheless, nationwide ridership continues to make historic gains:Americans took 5 percent more rides in the first quarter of 2012 than they

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The City Hall Station and concourse system haven’t seen a major renovation since its construction in 1928.

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The Broad Street Line connects with the El and trolleys, but visions of a more comprehensive transit complex have never been realized.

The state borrowed money to boost funding to SePTA and other transportation projects for the next three years, but had to start making deep cuts in 2010. SePTA’s annual capital budget took a $110 million hit. When the agency’s rainy-day fund runs dry in July 2013, SePTA riders could find themselves revisiting the very moment Act 44 was supposed to ensure never, ever happened again. The date was nov. 11, 2004, and SePTA, facing a $62 million deficit, announced what would come to be known as the “doomsday scenario”: Fares would rise by 25 percent, weekday service would be cut by 20 percent and mass layoffs would be implemented on Jan. 23 of the following year. On March 1, fares would spike again and more workers would be cut. Weekend service would be entirely eliminated. Activists, however, were ready. The year before, a coalition with roots ranging from wealthy Chestnut Hill to north Philly’s nicetown had fought SePTA’s proposal to cut the R8 commuter line. But in 2004, SePTA and the activists, who just the previous year had been on opposite sides of protests, joined together to fight Harrisburg. The proposed systemwide cuts, unlike the proposal to scrap a single line, allowed them to mobilize forces across the metro region, says longtime mass-transit activist Marc Stier. He says SePTA got the message he and others sent: “You can’t do this pick-and-choose, ‘We’re going to close this line; we’re going to close that line,’ because then we have to fight you. You have to threaten across-the-board cuts, because then we’re all fighting together.” It was a chaotic year in Harrisburg. Rural conservatives fought proposals to increase motor-vehicle fees and demanded highway funding for their districts. Meanwhile, Gov. ed Rendell continued to transfer state and federal highway dollars to transit to stave off doomsday. Yet Republicans dithered. And so on Feb. 28, 2005, Rendell (a governor whose legislative genius sparked both admiration and condemnation) solved the problem on his own, using $412 million of a new batch of federal highways dollars to cover transit statewide for two years. Republicans, of course, were infuriated. And it was a solution that guaranteed future problems. So two years later, Rendell struck upon a popular solution: Act 44. At the time, things seemed bright. “With ridership up, a new general manager, and a new predictable stream of state subsidies,” the Inquirer reported in May 2008, “SePTA breezed through its budget season with unfamiliar calm.” After tolling I-80 fell through in 2010, Rendell, his second and final term drawing to a close, scrambled. The legislature, he said, needed to show “political courage” and pass increases in vehicle fees and the gas tax, and a gross-profits tax on oil companies. He called for a special legislative session and even proposed privatizing the turnpike to fund transportation, an idea that managed to prompt opposition across the political spectrum. Republicans, looking ahead to the midterm elections, balked. now, with the entire state government under his party’s control, Corbett has done the same. Harrisburg, which used to work dirty, simply no longer works. One Of the things that makes SePTA so much more interesting than Washington, D.C.’s efficient but staid Metro, chock full of business-suited bureaucrats and lawyers, is the theater: commuters packing West Philadelphia street corners every weekday morning looking for the trolley like spectators at an imminent parade; shell games

on the el that might cost you $40 or “that pretty necklace”; men selling “incense, black soap, shea butter, incense, black soap, shea butter”; an old white lady making smiley faces at a Latina woman’s extraordinarily cute baby. But all of those scenes are a long way from where much of SePTA’s fate is determined, in the Harrisburg political theater that frequently spills out into the Capitol Rotunda, where protests and press conferences are organized for and against gun control, school vouchers and abortion rights. It was there, on April 16 of this year, that Rep. Rick Geist (R-Blair) stood before reporters at a press conference calling for transportation funding. The longtime House Transportation Committee chairman was a critical supporter of infrastructure spending, and people on both sides of the aisle were looking to him to help solve the crisis. “We have terrible transportation problems,” said Geist, flanked by labor and business leaders. He warned that Pennsylvania could suffer a disaster like the one in Minneapolis in 2007, when a bridge known to be structurally deficient collapsed into the Mississippi River during rush hour, killing 13 and injuring 145.

Harrisburg simply no longer works. The Pennsylvania Republican Party, however, had other priorities. One week later, Geist lost his primary race to a Tea Party-backed Penn StateAltoona finance professor, talk-radio host and political newcomer named John McGinnis. “I oppose Mr. Geist’s efforts in the past to raise gas taxes and generally oppose his desire to toll certain interstates in the commonwealth,” McGinnis tells CP. “I would concur with his efforts to sell the turnpike provided that the revenues generated were guaranteed to go to road transportation funding and not to Philly and Pittsburgh’s mass-transit systems or anything else.” McGinnis represents the brave new Pennsylvania Republican Party that Corbett now leads. Initially regarded as a business-minded moderate, the governor signed Washington power broker Grover norquist’s “no new taxes” pledge while fighting off right-wing primary challenger Sam Rohrer in 2010. Since then, Corbett has balked at even the most straightforward and popular revenue measures, such as imposing a severance tax on booming natural-gas companies. When he >>> continued on page 14

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The important Wayne Avenue Substation in Germantown is deemed “beyond its useful life,” and requires $25 million in repairs. SEPTA has access to just $12.8 million.

finally approved such a fee this February, it was one of the lowest in the nation, and came with stipulations to the press that it wasn’t really a tax, per se. “Raising taxes of any kind, raising fees ... he’s really reluctant to do that,” says G. Terry Madonna, a political scientist at Franklin and Marshall College. Republican politics in Pennsylvania are no longer determined by the commonwealth’s challenges. Increasingly, state-level Republican priorities from Harrisburg to Tallahassee are dictated by national power players like norquist and organizations like the American Legislative exchange Council, a controversial group that brings conservative legislators and corporations together to write and lobby for model bills. “Who is Grover norquist?” asks Stack, the state senator from Philly. “Who elected him?” Still, perhaps Harrisburg will come through and save SePTA at the last minute, as they have in the past. Dick Voith, an economist at econsult and a former Philadelphia representative on the SePTA board, hopes so. But this time, he concedes, the Tea Party moment makes things uncertain. That businessman’s end-of-the-day certainty that government serves some important, nonpartisan functions is vanishing. “You can’t have Philadelphia without a good transit system,” he says. “end of story. You can’t have suburban Philadelphia.” Pennsylvania politics have turned toward life, liberty and limited government. And conservatives have long expended considerable energy to apply that last principle to Philadelphia. Just before 3 p.m. on a Tuesday in May, I walked into a SePTA board meeting full of white men, a stark contrast to the diversely populated and majority-black trolley and el train I had taken there from West Philly. The suburbs dominate SePTA, even though city riders make up 83 percent of fares and Philadelphia provides more than four times as much local funding as the four suburban counties combined. In SePTA’s rendition of democracy, each county, Philadelphia included, gets two representatives on the SePTA board; the governor also gets a seat, along with the House and Senate majority and minority leaders. even the organization that represents SePTA riders, the Delaware Valley Association of Rail Passengers, has traditionally been run by commuter-rail users. Philly’s riders have nothing like the Bus Riders union, Los Angeles’ grassroots organization of transit users, to represent them. SePTA has been skewed toward the suburbs since its creation, when the federal government — after decades of building highways like the two that were rammed through Center City — passed the first major legislation to fund mass transit in 1964. SePTA and City Hall immediately got behind a plan to spend their share of the money: a $300 million tunnel connecting suburban commuter lines at Suburban, 30th Street and the planned Market east stations. urban transit riders, from east Poplar to the Richard Allen Homes to Chinatown to the northeast, protested and argued discrimination. The commuter-rail tunnel, a federal lawsuit alleged, would result in suburban riders receiving $3,000 per rider in annual federal subsidies, compared to $187 per rider for city dwellers. Regional leaders had prioritized suburban vehicle commuters for decades; now they decided to embrace suburban

train commuters instead. “You had a perfect storm in the 1970s, and everything that could go wrong went wrong,” says Jake Kobrick, a historian who wrote his dissertation on the history of Philadelphia transportation. Inflation drove maintenance and labor costs up nationwide, and cities teetered on the edge of bankruptcy. “The most astonishing part of the entire story is that, in the midst of this perfect storm in the 1970s, SePTA and Philadelphia pushed ahead with the commuter connection.” Meanwhile, construction delays and skeptical federal officials wreaked havoc on Philly’s federal transit funds. By late 1969, the Philadelphia region had received just $4.8 million in urban Mass Transportation Act funding, while the new York City, Chicago, Boston and San Francisco regions received $100 million apiece. SePTA’s tunnel was finally completed in 1984. Today, funding is still biased toward the wellto-do. A federal grant funds the Center City District’s ambitious $50 million remaking of City Hall’s Dilworth Plaza into a higher-end destination, while SePTA lacks the funds to com-

It would take a five-county transit tax. plete $100 million in renovations to the station underneath. Indeed, City Paper discovered in April that the privately run Center City District had beaten out SePTA’s own application for stimulus funds, money the agency intended to spend on a new smart-card fare system. SePTA ultimately secured $175 million from the Philadelphia Industrial Development Corp. to pay for the fare-system upgrade. But the funding — from the Immigrant Investor Program’s Welcome Fund, a controversial federal program through which foreign investors get permanent residency in exchange for investments — highlights the bizarre measures to which cash-strapped SePTA must resort. the urban-suburban divide, however, is an oversimplification. ultimately, suburbanites and city dwellers will need to pass something like a five-county transit tax to help fund the system fully. And Philadelphians use suburban lines too — particularly the working poor who >>> continued on page 16

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depend on trains, buses and trolleys to commute to the many jobs that have relocated to megastores, malls and office parks over past decades. The much larger issue is that the entire five-county system needs more cash. And it always has, because SePTA never recovered from the for-profit mess it took over upon the agency’s 1964 creation. The federal government invested enormous sums in highways and mortgage assistance for whites-only suburban homes after World War II. The urban population scattered and mass-transit ridership — along with Philadelphia’s clout in Harrisburg — plummeted. The car symbolized the height of American individuality, while subways evoked Soviet collectivism. By the 1950s, the privately owned subways, buses, trolleys and commuter lines had descended into crisis. Between 1968 and 1983, SePTA took over the various companies that ran those lines to save mass transit from collapse. The Philadelphia Transportation Company, which ran the city bus and trolley lines, “had a terrible public-relations image,� says Kobrick. “On day one, SePTA became responsible for that. And I don’t think they’ve ever recovered.� By 1974, the city Department of Public Property reported that Philadelphians considered transit to be “dirty, dark and unsafe.� WCAu television news described subway and el cars as “strewn with filth,

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drunks, graffiti and junkies. The dark, dank stations reek of who knows what, and shelter muggers and rapists.� Later that decade, fires on the Broad Street Line caused dozens of injuries. The newborn transit agency was both ahead of its time and way, way behind. Ahead, because it was a regional operation from the start — cities like Boston and new York took over private urban mass transit in the 1940s and ’50s and only decades later created regionally governed authorities. But behind, because SePTA was one of the last systems to remain under private ownership, left to deteriorate as other cities reinvested in mass transit. Initially, SePTA hoped to catch up quickly. After visiting transit systems in London and Paris in 1971, SePTA chairman James McConnon proposed a “total transit complex� for Philadelphia, with more subway and rapid-transit lines for greater flexibility. The nickel-and-diming of transit has long since foreclosed on the possibility of dreaming big. But some of those dreams are mouthwatering:There are proposals, for example, to add a Market-Frankford line station between 15th and 30th streets, to extend the Broad Street line south to the navy Yard and to increase the number of Regional Rail stops inside city limits. Light rail or high-speed bus lines, SePTA says, could be installed along Roosevelt Boulevard. The norristown High Speed Line, which departs from 69th

Street Station, could be extended to King of Prussia. A light-rail line is envisioned running from City Hall to the Delaware River waterfront, then along the river from Pier 70 in South Philly to Girard Avenue. And high-speed buses or light rail could run through the abandoned Reading Viaduct, connecting Center City to the Art Museum, Fairmount Park and the Philadelphia Zoo — perhaps going all the way to the Mann Center.

SEPTA started slow and never recovered. All this could complement a high-speed Amtrak line from D.C. to Boston, with speeds up to 220 miles per hour — bringing an estimated 10.5 million people within an hour of Philadelphia. This could mean, in short, jobs created, economy stimulated and people’s lives made remarkably easier.The austerity regime, however, dissents, crying socialism and railing against another handout to those people in cities. Without the political will from local, state and national elected officials, SePTA won’t ever get back on track. (daniel.denvir@citypaper.net)

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³ WHEN MELISSA LYNCH passed away shortly after Christmas 2010, we lost more than a lovely woman with a lot of friends. We also lost a deeply intuitive actor guided by an ageless sense of enterprise — the sort that made her adored by directors, audiences and fellow thesps for her work at Azuka Theatre, Philadelphia Shakespeare Theatre, Lantern Theater and more. Hell, she was even one of the first members of the Plays and Players 2.0 late-night Social Club at Quig’s Pub.“Melissa was simply the most talented, grounded, professional young actor I’ve ever come across, and I’ve come across many,” says John Clancy,the Obie-winning director who founded the New York International Fringe Festival,the Present Company and Clancy Productions with actor/producer Nancy Walsh. He directed Lynch in Sweetie Pie at Plays and Players for Azuka. He continues, “She knew how to work, which is rare in a younger actor.” Clancy, Walsh and Kevin Pariseau (a one-time Lynch castmate) along with some of Philly’s finest actresses (Amanda Schoonover,Mauri Walton) and assorted members of Brat Productions,Berserker and Theatre Exile will hold their Honey Bee Cabaret June 24 at Plays and Players at 7 p.m. The reason to Bee isn’t just for those cats to get together and perform in memory of Lynch — it’s to raise funds for a room at P&P in her honor, between the third-floor lobby and Quig’s Pub, that’ll be stocked floor-to-ceiling with books and scripts to share. “I’m not from the Philadelphia theater world, but I know that Melissa represented the ethos of that community, an easy camaraderie and respect for one another, a scrappiness that tolerated no bullshit and a ferocious work ethic,” says Clancy. “She made everyone better, on stage and off.” ³ Anne Frey, the actress/Realtor who’s readying her first neighborhood bar — the boomercentric 1 Tippling Place at 20th and Chestnut, in the space that once held Jolly’s Dueling Pianos — is serious about serious cocktail-making without pretense. Frey says she’s bringing in shakers who trained under Sasha Petraske — the king of NYC cocktail couture — to help her stock, design and manage the bar’s drink menu without being snobby about it. An end-of-June soft opening is being discussed. ³ Kate Foust,the dynamo Philly singer with the pipes of k.d. lang and the various hair colors of Annie Lennox whose band Lady dropped the pick-to-click new-classic You & Me last year, has just left her band. “I’m amicably separated from Lady right now and working on my solo stuff,” says Foust. Equally soulful troubadours Ginger Coyle and Thom McCarthy want Foust to make her solo debut at their Troc/Balcony show June 26. Stay tuned. ³ Icepack gets pics to click at citypaper. net/criticalmass. (a_amorosi@citypaper.net)

THE ONENESS: Aaron Freeman’s first solo album, Marvelous Clouds, covers the music of ’60s poet and songwriter Rod McKuen.

[ rock/pop ]

FREEDOM OF 2012 With his old band pushing up daisies, Aaron “Gene Ween” Freeman looks to dig deeper. By A.D. Amorosi

A

aron Freeman is doing fine. Doing fine is no small thing for a guy who just quit the band he started recording with more than 25 years ago — that would be the oddball cult act Ween — and whipped a longtime problem with substance abuse. For the first time as a professional musician, “Gene Ween” is using the name his parents gave him. “Things are great,” says a beaming Freeman from his New Jersey home before embarking on a tour for his true solo debut, Marvelous Clouds. The Ben Vaughn-produced album, which covers the flowery prose and pretty melodies of ’60s poet-singer-composer Rod McKuen, sounds so much like Freeman at his full-tilt, weird Ween best, you wouldn’t guess these songs weren’t his. “When somebody has a similar musical mind, when its poetry is bound to your own — yes, I felt very comfortable within his words and melody,” says Freeman of McKuen’s rich catalog. Stop a second, though. Ween is done. At the very least, Freeman’s working partnership with Mickey “Dean” Melchiondo, the pal he made in an eighth-grade typing class, has concluded. No more “Boognish” or scary FX-heavy vocals.

If the vibe of Marvelous Clouds represents where Freeman is now and where’s he’s heading (it does, according to him), the emotions will be naked and his sound clean and clear. “If you’re a Ween fan, you can tell what’s mine,” laughs Freeman. “I can see the next stuff that I write similar to my stuff on Ween’s Quebec — simple, melodic, accessible. I love a pretty song with a hook.” When we spoke, Freeman had just made Ween’s breakup announcement to Rolling Stone. He sounded comfortable about the move during our chat. “There are no victims, there’s no drama to it,” says Freeman. But one can’t help but wonder if Freeman knew he’d be ending his participation in Ween as soon as he started recording under his own name. “Wow, yes. I did,” says Freeman as if he just realized that fact. “To be honest, I did. Ending Ween — it was a long time coming. Various things within me needed to happen first. A clear mind, full of confidence. As this record unfolded, it became clearer that things had to be concluded with Ween.” The solo shows Freeman had been performing for the last several years weren’t simply to stretch his legs. They were to gain footing and gather the confidence to go it alone. Freeman confesses to growing up with an ideal that he one day hoped to achieve: Neil Young. “People like Young, who could sit there and kill it on an acoustic guitar, then go and do likewise with Crazy Horse — that’s me. My

“Ending Ween — it was a long time coming.”

>>> continued on page 20

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[ a spot of ukulele soft-shoe ] ³ country

Peter Bjorn and John don’t rest much. It’s an off year in their album cycle, so here come the side projects: a double-dose of breezy studio puttering and sunny-day cruising music inaugurating the Swedepop phenoms’ newly minted label/collective, Ingrid. A Flash in the Night, by Smile — Björn Yttling plus the Teddybears’ Joakim Åhlund — is essentially an instrumental pop record, translating both bands’ characteristically cheery melodicism to crunchier, sometimes krauty, frequently synthy terrain. —K. Ross Hoffman

If this were 1974, you’d wonder who needs another Phases and Stages, but a band taking on Willie Nelson’s divorce theme sounds fine right about now. Alex Madsen of Canada’s The Divorcees loves Willie so much he’s even adapted some of his trademark ornaments and phrasing to his own singing on the self-released Four Chapters (as on the drying—Mary Armstrong out song “Goodbye Jack”).

The heart-shredding beauty of John Ford’s masterpiece bursts from the (flat-)screen in Fox’s luminescent new Blu-ray of The Grapes of Wrath. Inspired by his own memories of the Irish potato famine, Ford’s magnificent Steinbeck adaptation is somehow both sentimental and austere; it reminds you that Ireland is the land of Samuel Beckett as well as Sean O’Casey. Ford and cinematographer Gregg Toland manage the unbelievable task of making Henry Fonda unrecognizable at first: His haggard, sallow face holds no trace of movie-star familiarity. The harsh light and menacing shadows split the world into temporary winners and all-time losers, with —Sam Adams community the only way to weather the storm.

thing, and so are her songs, which she renders with an intimate economy that’s almost haikulike, particularly given her eye for natural-world detail. But that doesn’t mean they’re simple. Silver Silver (Honest Jon’s), the L.A. songsmith’s fourth offering, is a strange, protean exploration of sound and mood — intermittently reminiscent of Juana Molina, Tunng and Mirah’s work with Phil Elverum — that finds her embracing electronic textures, collaboration (Andrew Bird; art-pop oddballs Fol Chen), vocal layering, instrumental lushness, ambient drone episodes and even a spot of ukulele soft-shoe. —K. Ross Hoffman

[ movie review ]

YOUR SISTER’S SISTER [ C+ ] LYNN SHELTON’S BREAKTHROUGH film Humpday was an improv workshop

A bunch of Dark Ages Trekkies. morning with one question on your mind: “If we can put a man on the moon, why hasn’t anyone created a German industrial band that draws heavily upon medieval music for their sound?” Well, fear not, good citizens of Winterfell, for Heimataerde has come to your rescue. Anyone who may have picked up Heimataerde’s CD Gottgleich (released by Metropolis Records; really, who else would’ve green-lighted this project?) expecting to have a hearty chuckle at the expense of a bunch of Dark Ages Trekkies who dragged their synths to a Renaissance Faire — though they do, indeed, wear armor onstage — is in for a pretty fierce disappointment as the blend of flutes, pipe drones, pounding drums and slashing guitars makes for a surprisingly satisfying musical experience. Think Dead Can Dance meets Rammstein meets The Knights Who Say Ni from Monty Python and the Holy Grail.The fact that this experiment doesn’t blow up in the faces of all involved stands as a proud testament to mankind’s ability to take a batshit crazy concept and transform it into a batshit crazy reality: in this instance, a wonderfully batshit crazy band. And if you’re still not sold on the idea, find the song “Outremer” online. Verdict: Yes, the fact that Heimataerde perform in Templar garb and cover “God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen” (which kicks a plague-cart load of ass, by the way) is a tough hurdle to clear in the race toward fandom. But once you’ve managed to move past the gimmick, you’ll find some incredibly decent songs at the core of this project. (r_anonymous@citypaper.net)

✚ Heimataerde

Gottgleich

19

(METROPOLIS)

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turned magic act. Give two actors, Mark Duplass and Joshua Leonard, an almost impossible premise — two straight male friends decide to make a gay porn together — and watch them turn it into something plausible and heartfelt. The acting and ostentatiously hand-held camerawork were on the shambling side of naturalistic, but the foot-dragging was balanced out by the audacity of the organizing principle, the voice in the back of your head that kept murmuring, “I can’t believe this is working.” Unfortunately, with Shelton’s new film, Your Sister’s Sister, that voice is replaced by one saying, “Really?” Duplass returns, sandwiched in between sisters Emily Blunt and Rosemarie DeWitt. He is, a year later, still shell-shocked by his brother’s death, as Blunt is by the loss of her former boyfriend, while DeWitt has just ended a seven-year relationship with another woman. The three converge on an island off the coast of Seattle. DeWitt and Duplass, who’ve never met, arrive first, and after a night of increasingly drunken banter, he unseriously propositions her and she abruptly accepts. Blunt arrives the next morning without advance notice, and complications, as they will, ensue. It sounds like the stuff of farce, or its inbred, nth-generation offspring, the sitcom. Regardless, it’s not something actors should have to approach with a straight face, let alone one limned with such all-fired solemnity. The movie is most alive when nothing is happening, when Duplass and DeWitt are sitting around a varnished wood table slugging tequila shots or DeWitt complains that the nonvegan mashed potatoes she’s been duped into eating contain “five pounds of fear.” But the more Shelton pushes her characters into familiar territory, and especially as she strong-arms a trumped-up denouement, the more the actors’ realism starts to feel like the worst fraud of all. —Sam Adams

Limned with all-fired solemnity.

TWO GIRLS, ONE DUPLASS : Lynn Shelton’s disappointing follow-up to Humpday is most alive when nothing is happening, which, unfortunately doesn’t happen often enough.

GERMANY! ³ IF YOU’RE LIKE most people, you awoke this

³ folk Simone White’s voice is an airy, delicate

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[ arts & entertainment ]

✚ Freedom of 2012 <<< continued from page 18

“When you take an alias, it’s easy to get lost.” goal was to be a folk musician,” he laughs heartily. “That’s what I consider myself. To keep it simple. Some of it’s twisted, but I always aspired to be the guy who can write a simple song, strap a guitar onto his back and walk off into the sunset if need be.” Freeman wouldn’t have closed the door on Ween unless he felt sure about it. “When you take an alias, it’s easy to get lost,” he says. Though emancipated, Freeman wouldn’t have gone forward with an album of Rod McKuen covers if not for pal/producer Vaughn’s provocation. “This is his brainchild,” says Freeman. “He had the whole thing mapped out. ” Vaughn and Freeman knew that beyond the wall of kitsch built around McKuen’s work, his music existed in several genres (open-air jazz, spokenword classical) and his lyrics could be as pained as they were dippy. With that, Freeman found it easy to slip inside McKuen’s skin. “I fell in love with his music immediately, its simplicity and vulnerability, his sense of melody and phrasing. It was airy and beautiful.” McKuen’s backstory — of depression, of early retirement, of passionately emotional books and tone poems — was unknown to Freeman until recently. The ex-Ween-ie wasn’t looking to ape McKuen, but rather channel the poet/troubadour:“I was adhering to Rod’s thing but I was also allowing myself to be free.” It’s fascinating to Freeman that such potently poignant writings came into his life when they did, as McKuen’s songs are often about turning from youth and toward middle age. McKuen trafficked in deeply self-reflective lyrics about getting older and dealing with one’s identity. “These are the things that the 42-yearold me is dealing with,” says Freeman, happily aware of the man he’s grown up to be. “I’m proud of what I did with Ween. I got in a band at age 15 with a friend, made some wonderful records, have great fans and at this age get to do Aaron Freeman 2.0.” (a_amorosi@citypaper.net) ✚ Thu., June 21, 8 p.m., $22-$25, World Cafe Live,

3025 Walnut St., 215-222-1400, worldcafelive.com.

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The Harvest/La Cosecha

The Dark Side of Chocolate

³ REVELATION BLUE (2012, U.S, 64 min.): Local director Tony Lankford brings viewers into troubled hoods where the laws of God are difficult to maintain. Thu., June 21, 7 p.m.

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³ BROOKLYN GANGSTER (2012, U.S., 118 min.): Protagonist Jose Lucas challenges the term “gangster” in this fictional story of conviction, incarceration and entrapment in America’s thorny justice system. Thu., June 21, 5 p.m.

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[ arts & entertainment ]

³ CAN’T SELL DRUGS IN THE LIB NO MORE (2012, U.S., 17 min.): Philly’s Milton McGriff directs this short about the contemporary drug scene. Thu., June 21, 8:05 p.m.

[ movies ]

APPETITE CONTROL Two flicks playing the Philadelphia International Film Festival make us wince at our favorite treats. By Shaun Brady

I

³ THE FRANK MATTHEWS STORY (2012, U.S., 83 min.): Ron Chepesiuk and Alan Bradley’s doc trails the infamous kingpin who disappeared with a girlfriend and 15 million bucks in 1973. Sat., June 23, noon. ³ THE HOUSE OF SEVILLE (2011, New Zealand, 18 min.): Kiwi director John Calder brings us an animated suburbia in which the grand and ghastly Carmen haunts the town of Henderson. (Imagine The Sims characters engaged in an operatic ghost story. ) Sat., June 23, 1:25 p.m. ³ CAPOEIRA: FLY AWAY BEETLE (2009, Brazil, 70 min.): Mysticism and modernity shape the hybrid world of the Brazilian-African martial art Capoeira. Sat., June 23, 1:45 p.m. ³ THE WERETH 11 (2011, U.S., 60 min.): Though Philadelphia-made, director Robert Child’s setting is far from home — the WWII story follows the 333rd Tank Battalion’s 11 African-American soldiers, who were hunted by Nazis during the Battle of the Bulge. Sat., June 23, 3 p.m. ³ THE DARK SIDE OF CHOCOLATE (2011, U.S./ Ivory Coast, 46 min.): See Shaun Brady’s review, left. Sat., June 23, 4:05 p.m. ³ DEATH IN THE FAMILY (2012, U.S., 15 min.): Luchina Fisher directed this heart-wrenching tale of a father who brings home an old flame after the death of his wife. Obvs, his daughters aren’t so pleased. Sat., June 23, 4:55 p.m. ³ THE HARVEST/LA COSHECHA (2011, U.S., 80 min.): See Shaun Brady’s review, left. Sat., June 23, 5:15 p.m. —Jodi Bosin ✚ All films showing at African American Museum, $8$60, 701 Arch St., 215-574-0380, philafilm.org.

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t’s tough to be both a foodie and a film buff anymore. Seems for every tasty morsel that touches one’s plate, there’s an accompanying documentary detailing the heartrending toll on human life and the planet itself required to bring it there. A pair of films by director U. Roberto Romano playing in this year’s Philadelphia International Film Festival & Market do just that, ruining both veggies and dessert by focusing on child labor in the cultivation of crops in the U.S. and Africa. Romano’s work as a photographer who spent more than a decade documenting the subject in conjunction with a number of human-rights organizations has previously been collected in an exhibition titled “Faces of Freedom.” He brings the same eye to these two docs, which are beautifully shot depictions of horrendous situations. The title of The Dark Side of Chocolate tells you pretty much all you need to know about its content. “Everyone loves chocolate,” its voiceover begins, in a tone that implies the soul-staining implications of that passion. The film follows Danish journalist Miki Mistrati from the Wonka-esque delights of a chocolatiers convention to the pint-sized laborers on the cocoa plantations of Ivory Coast, who aren’t orange-skinned and definitely aren’t singing. The 46-minute film is straight-ahead investigative journalism, exploring the trail of child traffickers from Mali to Ivory Coast with help from locals and hidden cameras. Romano and Mistrati let their images make their points. The claims of a leading cocoa magnate that child labor simply doesn’t exist in Ivory Coast cuts immediately to a hidden-camera shot of two machete-wielding kids, the elder of whom is maybe 12 years old. At a Mali bus station, where a well-traveled back road runs directly between the two countries, a group of kids runs off only to be chased down by smugglers on motorbikes, herding the fright-

ened children like sheep. And then there’s the chilling face of a 12-year-old Malian girl, rescued from a trafficker, who looks more frightened at the prospect of returning home empty-handed than by whatever would have awaited her in the cocoa fields. The children of The Harvest/La Cosecha (not to be confused with Gabriel DeLoach’s The Harvest, playing at the concurrent Philadelphia Independent Film Festival) know exactly what awaits them. The sons and daughters of migrant workers in the States, their lives have settled into a steady, grueling routine at very early ages. Rise early, do backbreaking work in 100-degree heat for 12 hours for weeks on end, then move on to another home in another state to do the same with another crop. In The Harvest, Romano focuses on three of these kids, ages 12 to 16, who spend their summer vacations doing things that would send Dickens straight to his writing desk. The occasional intertitle flashes stark facts and statistics onto the screen, but unlike the direct journalistic approach of Chocolate, here the director aims dead-on for emotional impact. Despite the beauty of his images of ripe tomatoes and lush red strawberries, the sweat on the brows of three generations at a time is what draws the attention. Just as vital is Romano’s depiction of the families’ nomadic lives, where the constant uprooting, slovenly conditions and hunt for work in city after city is as stressful as the toil itself. Both films screen Saturday at the African American Museum in Philadelphia as part of the 35th edition of the under-the-radar film festival. Unlike its cousins the Philadelphia Independent Film Festival (see schedule on p. 26), the fifth edition of which kicked off Wednesday, or the Philadelphia Film Festival, which celebrates its 21st year in October, the Philadelphia International Film Festival & Market consists of two slates: a competition, with a black-tie awards ceremony on Saturday night, and a marketplace for films seeking backers. Other films on the marquee include Meherjaan, a Bangladeshi star-crossed romance set in 1971 during the country’s war of independence; The Wereth Eleven, a doc about African-American soldiers in a WWII tank battalion; Fallen, an Iranian silent film; Capoeira: Fly Away Beetle, a doc on the origins of the Brazilian martial arts/dance hybrid; and Revelation Blue, a TV pilot about a preacher-turned-police detective. (s_brady@citypaper.net)

³ OUR SECRETS (2012, U.S., 120 min.): This playful comedy by local auteur Aaminah Thompson follows a physician with a dark secret. Thu., June 21, 8:25 p.m.

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[ hip-hop ]

PREPPED AND READY After cutting his teeth as a battle rapper, white and wordy Rone drops his first album.

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hen people first see me get up to rap in a collared shirt, baseball cap and jeans, they’re probably thinking, ‘Oh, this white boy probably went to a private Catholic allboys school,’â€? says 24-year-old Adam Ferrone, who goes by Rone. “Well, I’m just glad I can complete the circle for them, because I did.â€? If you wouldn’t expect a graduate of Philadelphia’s reputable St. Joe’s Preparatory School to be stomping onto the city’s rap scene, you’d be thinking right. The Jesuit priests don’t often encourage their boys — whose parents are paying a pretty penny for tuition — to pursue a career in hip-hop. Without hesitation, however, Rone is proud to announce that the grammatical foundation he built at the Prep is his sharpest weapon. “It’s an advantage if you’re a writer. It’s about how well you can use language and how dexterously you can move throughout the vernacular. See there, I just flexed a bit,â€? he jokes. Six feet tall, 160 pounds, with baby-smooth pale skin and deeply dimpled cheeks, Rone hardly fits the typical mental picture of a rapper from the streets of Philadelphia. From the beginning, however, he has never apologized for his whiteness. In an early face-off with Union City, Calif., rapper Caustic, he brought down the house with this line: “I look better in a sweater/ having tools/ grammar rules/ politically correct answers/ wittier dinner banter/ propane igniting/ creative writing/ hiking/ biking/ pretty much any white thing.â€? Ferrone was 21 and studying journalism and theater at Penn State University when he first discovered rap battling. Instantly hooked, he found that skipping class to watch great freestylers and practice rapping was a much better use of his time. He applied to the world’s largest hip-hop battle league, New York’s GrindTimeNow, and brought with him his very large vocabulary. To Rone, battling is a completely academic endeavor. He puts in serious, diligent work before the big day. “I have to think up the most intricate wordplay and schemes against them. ‌ There’s just no excuse for me to not do well. I have college degrees, I have a reputation to uphold and I need to prove to myself that I’m doing the right thing with my life.â€? Well, judging by the dozens of videos on YouTube, he’s on the right path. It’s not just the surprise references and rapid-fire wordplay. It’s also the way the crowd reacts. No one expects the white kid from the suburbs to show up, let alone destroy longtime battlers in front of their followings. Rone has taken on some of the best battlers from around the world, such as Australia’s 360, California’s Okwerdz and Canada’s Tricky P. And with each victory, he accumulates the necessary respect to continue advancing in the battling underground. It’s like passing a test, only cooler. It didn’t take many of these hot mic massacres before Philly rapper and Roots associate Dice Raw recognized the rising star. “Being a white rapper, you have to be able to battle,â€? Dice says. “When I went to Rone’s battles, I saw somebody who had great rapping potential. It was nothing but charisma, it was funny, but he was still tough and just smart.â€? Dice summoned Rone to the Raw Life studio to see if there was chemistry with producer Rick Friedrich. Friedrich — who has seen and worked with countless talented Philadelphia artists under the banner of The Philadelphia Record Company — immediately saw a Renaissance man in Rone. “He’s a singer, he’s a rapper, he’s an actor, a comedian, a talk show host. ‌ He smiles and makes eye contact.â€? The most impressive trait that

WORD WARRIOR: Rone has taken on battlers around the world. RICK FRIEDRICH

his producer has seen in the kid, however, is in his dedication. “A lot of artists want things, but when Rone wants something, he gets it.â€? Rone’s debut album, The First Story, was released on Tuesday; this Saturday’s gig at MilkBoy doubles as a release party. As Friedrich says, “When you hear all the songs together, a character emerges, an artist evolves. It’s the same with any artist you really love; people like the person that they’re left with after they’re done listening. ‌ It’s the Rone experience.â€? To all his former classmates at the Prep and neighborhood friends who are blown away by the transformation of that nice little boy they once knew, his friend and manager Mike Wallace assures that, “he was always witty and intelligent. I think he finally just found the perfect channel to show it all off.â€? Co-managers Ryan Thomson and Wallace agree that Philadelphia is an ideal-size pond for Rone. He’s working with The Roots network, which gives him access to the world of hip-hop, and locally, his fan base is growing daily. In less than two years with an account, Rone has accumulated more than 5,000 followers on Twitter and 6,000 Facebook fans. And then there’s his blood entourage, his family. His father and sister, both physicists, and his mother, a nurse, may not understand what Adam is doing, but they know his potential. His grandma watches all his battles and sends handwritten critiques to his mailbox in Manayunk. “They have given me confidence,â€? says Rone. “Caution is to the wind, so I’m gonna go out there and fuck everyone up, ’cause my momma said it was OK.â€? (editorial@citypaper.net)

“There’s just no excuse for me to not do well.�

✚ Sat., June 23, $10-$12, 9:30 p.m., with Don McCloskey and Nikki Jean, MilkBoy Philly, 1100 Chestnut St., 215-925-MILK, milkboyphilly.com.

HILARIOUS AND HEARTFELT!” P E T E R T R AV E R S , RO L L I N G STO N E

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Brave

NEW ABRAHAM LINCOLN: VAMPIRE HUNTER Read Drew Lazor’s review at citypaper.net/movies. (UA Riverview)

BRAVE Read Sam Adams’ review at citypaper.net/movies. (UA Riverview)

Why does every shortsighted, moribund movie character sleepwalking through life work in insurance? Dodge (Steve Carell), Lorene Scafaria’s sweater-wearing policy specialist in Seeking a Friend for the End of the World, is at the business end of this well-tread dramedy cliché, but he’s just one in a series of derivative speed bumps slowing down the Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist writer’s directorial debut. Saddled with the knowledge that Earth will be decimated by an enormous asteroid in a few weeks’ time, Dodge’s adult friends start going nuts, feeding their children hard liquor, shooting heroin and screwing anyone who establishes eye contact with them. Dodge, meanwhile, continues going about his humdrum day-to-day, even after his miserable wife walks out of him. Enter Dodge’s flighty neighbor Penny (Keira Knightley), a vinyl-worshiping wispy-girl archetype cast from the mold of Natalie Portman in Garden State, who agrees to accompany Dodge and a cute stray dog (how irreverent!) on a journey to find his high-school sweetheart. You can probably guess what develops between these two crazy kids who have nothing in common. The inexorable trudge toward Judgment Day and the bacchanal it births is an interesting backdrop for what’s essentially a road-trip rom-com — there’s a tremendous scene inside a sexually

“

REALLY FUNNY,

YOUR SISTER’S SISTER|C+ Read Sam Adams’ review on p. 19. (Ritz Five)

SMART & PROFOUND!

CONTINUING

Steve Carell gives a touching, poignant and, of course, very funny performance.”

THE BEST EXOTIC MARIGOLD HOTEL|C Judi Dench is a widow in search of a life, Tom Wilkinson is a retired judge rediscovering his past, Maggie Smith is a bigot in need of an operation and Bill Nighy and Penelope Wilton are a constantly sparring married couple. They all end up at the same run-down hotel in India, where a colorful backdrop and strange food offer resolutions to each of their stories — which are not in any way exotic. The scenery is picturesque and each actor has his or her share of moments, but there’s not much here you couldn’t find on a tour bus full of retirees. —Shaun Brady (Ritz Five)

DARK SHADOWS|CJohnny Depp’s Barnabas Collins is more scrappy and humorous than Jonathan Frid’s TV original, but the flappy trappings of a love triangle temper any real exploration of the character, comical or not. Director Tim Burton treats Chloe Grace Moretz, Michelle Pfeiffer and Jackie Earle Haley, all great actors with something to contribute, as afterthoughts, too wrapped up in his own brand to let the right film in. —DL (Roxy)

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liberated TGI Friday’s-style restaurant and a very weird sequence with William Petersen as a creepy trucker-philosopher — but the two leads are mapped out to uninventive extremes. Dodge has heavy daddy issues! Penny can’t commit! This is why they are the way they are! With the planet’s fate already sealed, who cares? —Drew Lazor (UA Riverview)

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THE INTOUCHABLES|B In The Intouchables, an unlikely bromance blooms between a blueblooded quadriplegic and a black ex-convict who becomes his caretaker. The film doesn’t rely on the kindness of the obsequious to justify the friendship — the leads vibe as men who have lived life on the edge and still enjoy taking chances. This connection morphs into a shared penchant for meddling; they push each other’s buttons, but all is made well with a little boogie time to Earth, Wind and Fire. —Cassie Owens (Ritz Five) LOLA VERSUS|CLola Versus, for all its “unconventional” signifiers, is just another by-the-numbers romantic comedy, its heroine’s self-absorption elevating romantic foibles to the level of grand tragedy. Try as she might, the appeal of star Greta Gerwig simply can’t

A WINNER.

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Stephen Holden

SALON

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EXTRAORDINARY NOT QUITE LIKE ANYTHING ELSE IN AMERICAN FILM.’’ Andrew O’Hehir

ffff!’’

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A DELIGHT.

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’’

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WILL SURPRISE AND DELIGHT YOU.

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THE FILM PULSES WITH LIFE FROM START TO FINISH.’’ Joe Morgenstern

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overcome Katherine Heigl-level material, and a few winks toward hipster hangouts can’t rescue multiplex plotting. —SB (Ritz Five)

MOONRISE KINGDOM|A At the center of Wes Anderson’s Moonrise Kingdom is a love story between preteens Sam Shakusky (Jared Gilman) and Suzy Bishop (Kara Hayward). The pair’s affection is mature and restrained, displaying the empathy the adult characters lack without too much mush. Even as threats to their relationship materialize, Gilman and Hayward portray an impressively reverent devotion. Anderson wisely hints at an uncertain post-adolescent future beyond the film’s scope. But Moonrise Kingdom, with its dusty vintage hues and fantastical environs, relishes that remarkable moment of childhood when anything seems possible. —Michael Gold (Ritz East)

PROMETHEUS|B+ Ridley Scott’s Prometheus is a horror movie first and foremost, gnawing at subconscious terrors even as your conscious mind attempts to bat it away. But for all its blockbuster mechanics, the film feels more suggestive than hollow, even if its foundational premise turns out not to make a lick of sense. In not just its own universe but our own, it seems like a throwback to the time before Scott’s Alien, when sciencefiction movies didn’t have to choose being microbudget head-scratchers or overblown spectacles, trying and occasionally succeeding to colonize the middle ground between the two. — Sam Adams (UA Riverview) ROCK OF AGES|B Adam Shankman’s hair-metal musical comedy is clunky, often predictable and

relentlessly silly. It’s also weirdly irresistible — mostly because Tom Cruise fucking brought it. At the screening, the crowd went wild for Mary J. Blige, whose main role is singing the hard parts during montages. But in the end, this is Cruise’s movie. Despite his ba-

boon sidekick, his giant steel codpiece and his apparent skill for making psychic connections with people by feeling them up, his Jaxx might just be the cure for Rock of Ages’ relentless cartoonishness. He’s hilarious, but also overserious, tortured, real. Every rose has its thorn. —Patrick Rapa (Roxy)

SAFETY NOT GUARANTEED|BMark Duplass’ eccentric loner Kenneth claims to have a time machine at the ready, but isn’t planning to assassinate Hitler or run with T-Rexes; he simply wants to revisit the day he blames for his own downfall. He places a classified ad that’s discovered by a magazine reporter (Jake M. Johnson), who sees an easy subject for a mocking article. Intern Darius (Aubrey Plaza) tags along, though her above-it-all cynicism soon begins to peel away as she falls for Kenneth and uncovers her own emotional scars. Ultimately, the subplot involving Johnson feels half-hearted, and the stereotype-bending central characters are surrounded by actual, lazy stereotypes. By the time Kenneth unveils his time machine, neither the ending of the

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DEEPLY SATISFYING EMILY BLUNT IS DYNAMITE. ’’

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time machine working or it not working would be particularly satisfying, and the questions left unanswered aren’t compensated for by the offbeat but slight romance. —SB (Ritz Five)

SNOW WHITE AND THE HUNTSMAN|C It’s always been a property ripe for reimagining outside the Disney mold, but this particular redux has a pair of stinkbombs working against it: its two female stars. Kristen Stewart takes so few risks with her character that an impassioned third-act battle speech doubles as a comedy routine. But she’s Meryl Streep compared to the uncharacteristic work turned in by Charlize Theron, whose screeching, bug-eyed overacting is less over-the-top than it is plain baffling. —DL (UA Riverview)

PHILADELPHIA INTERNATIONAL FILM FESTIVAL For tickets to the Philadelphia International Film Festival, call 267-228-0333 or visit philadelphiaindependentfilmfestival.com.

THE CHAPEL First Unitarian Church, 2125 Chestnut St., 215-563-3980, philauu.org. House Devil Street Angel (2012, U.S., 33 min.): In this short, Fivel Rothberg examines parental abuse through his relationships with his father and son. Sun., June 24, 2:15 p.m., $8.

FRANKLIN INSTITUTE 222 N. 20th St., 215-448-1254, fi.edu. Tango Macbeth (2012, U.S., 73 min.): A documentary crew observes as actors lose themselves in a dance version of Macbeth. Thu., June 21, 7:30 p.m., $10. Music Video Collection: Featuring local music films like Children of the Lights: The White Panda and The Shabby Dress: Jeff Mellin. Thu., June 21, 9:45 p.m., $10. The Red Corvette (2011, U.S., 104 min.): A summer-school peer introduces goodytwo-shoes Cindy Reese to NYC mob life. Sat., June 23, 7:20 p.m., $10.

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pafa.org. Mixed Tape Five Spot (2012, U.S., 20 min.): A documentary on the weekly Black Lily sessions held at Philly’s Five Spot, with early-in-life performances by Jaguar Wright and Jazmine Sullivan, no less. Sat., June 23, 1 p.m., $8. If I Make It, I Win (2012, U.S., 14 min.): Three stories of failure and success around the turn of the 20th century. Sat., June 23, 1:15 p.m., $8. The Pact (2012, U.S., 80 min.): Hello, blue balls: Two brothers find themselves unable to date after making a vow to swear off women for a year. Sat., June 23, 2:15 p.m., $8.

PIAZZA AT SCHMIDT’S 1050 N. Hancock St., 215-467-4603, atthepiazza.com. Big Guns (2012, U.S., 87 min.): Now in the crosshairs of every criminal in town, a shitty retired cop becomes an even shittier private detective. Sat., June 23, 7 p.m., free.

RAVEN LOUNGE 1718 Sansom St., 215-592-1242, ravenlounge.com. Returning Home (2012, U.S., 37 min.): A man looks for his home after he wakes up in a strange place with his memory wiped clean. Fri., June 22, 6 p.m., $8. Sleeping with the Fishes (2012, U.S., 87 min.): A new Philly mob recruit falls for the Don’s wife. Someone’s going swimming in the Schuylkill. Sat., June 23, 8 p.m., $8.

THE SANCTUARY First Unitarian Church, 2125 Chestnut St., 215-563-3980, philauu.org. MERCS: Hijak (2012, U.S., 60 min.): Loose cannon Captain Brice kicks some space-mercenary tail when he and Princess Varisa find their spaceship hijacked. Thu., June 21, 8:35 p.m., $8. Animation Festival: Featuring local toons Feathers and Tripped Into You. Thu., June 21, 9:45 p.m., $8. Benny the Bum (2012, U.S., 80 min.): Just released from prison, Philly boxer Benny has a fling with Stella, who also makes a nice hostage when creditors start hounding him. Fri., June 22, 8 p.m., $8.

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First Unitarian Church, 2125 Chestnut St., 215-563-3980, philauu.org. Uncle Hymie’s Funeral (2012, U.S., 90 min.): A nephew helps his deceased uncle reach heaven by atoning for each of the dead guy’s broken Commandments. Fri., June 22, 8:30 p.m., $8. Who is Wright (2012, U.S., 25 min.): A South Philly rapper follows his dreams in spite of a family that tried to hold him back. Sat., June 23, 4:30 p.m., $8.

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[ doodled by a mad scientist’s child prodigy ]

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HALE YEAH: Heyward Howkins plays an albumrelease show at PhilaMOCA on Wednesday. TYLER COSTILL

The Agenda is our selective guide to what’s going on in the city this week. For comprehensive event listings, visit citypaper.net/listings. IF YOU WANT TO BE LISTED:

THURSDAY

6.21 [ lgbtq ]

✚ GRAB BAG: A PHREAK SHOW

Thu., June 21, 10 p.m., $5, Trocadero, 1003 Arch St., 215-922-6888, thetroc.com.

[ classical ]

✚ PHILADELPHIA ORCHESTRA Leopold Stokowski made the Philadelphia Orchestra the cultural center of this city, and one of the great musical ensembles of the world, a reputation that, despite recent turmoil, it most certainly still owns today. And if there was any doubt about that, you only had to ask the old wizard; he was a man of no small ego. But despite the brilliant

—Peter Burwasser June 21, 8 p.m.; June 22, 2 p.m.; June 23, 11:30 a.m. and 8 p.m.; $10-$106, Academy of Music, Broad and Locust sts., 215-893-1999, philorch.org.

[ theater ]

✚ THE TEMPEST The Pennsylvania Shakespeare Festival’s (PSF) 21st season opens with The Tempest, featuring Philadelphia stalwart

Greg Wood as exiled Prospero, once a prince, now ruler of a mostly deserted magical isle. PSF’s comedy specialist, Jim Helsinger, directs an energetic staging of Shakespeare’s last play in the intimate, seating-on-three-sides Schubert Theatre. Known for mounting intelligent and entertaining productions on two stages while most of Philadelphia’s other theater companies take the summer off, PSF is well worth multiple drives out to DeSales University, near Allentown. Other offerings include Sondheim’s Sweeney Todd, through July 1; romantic comedy Much Ado About Nothing, July 11-Aug. 5, in repertory with Tennessee Williams’ steamy Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, July 19-Aug. 5; and an experimental, actor-controlled production of the rarely seen King John, July 25-Aug. 5. —Mark Cofta Through July 15, $25-$55, DeSales University, 2755 Station Ave., Center Valley, PA, 610-282-9455, pashakespeare.org.

FRIDAY

6.22

hazy atmospherics. The sound is spare as a bone, but cozy and intimate as a nice warm bed. In other words: perfect sounds for sprawling out to rest in Studio 34’s always inviting pillow-scape.

[ folk ]

✚ 200 YEARS The most remarkable thing about 200 Years — the duo of Elisa Ambrogio and Ben Chasny, who issued their self-titled Drag City debut at the end of last year — is how utterly removed it is from each member’s better-known work: Ambrogio as singer-guitarist of the restlessly experimental, hyperprolific, Sonic Youth-affiliated noise-rockers Magik Markers; Chasny as the esoteric, drone-inclined oneman psychedelic folk outfit Six Organs of Admittance. There’s none of that here, just plain, unhurried acoustic strumming and hushed, lulling vocals nearly devoid of discernible affect, plus an occasional blanketing of thin,

—K. Ross Hoffman Fri., June 22, 8 p.m., $10-$12, with Jonathan Byerley and Brendan Codey, Studio 34, 4522 Baltimore Ave., 215387-3434, studio34yoga.com.

[ jazz ]

✚ BROADCLOTH/ CARL TESTA From his professorial perch at Connecticut’s Wesleyan University, Anthony Braxton is quietly turning out class after class of some of the most eccentric, experimental, genre-blurring young musicians working today. Anyone familiar with the legendary saxophonist-composer’s famously head-scratching work should hardly be surprised; regularly playing pieces whose music looks more like schematic blueprints doodled by a mad scientist’s child prodigy would

27

Drag starlets Messapotamia Lefae, The Goddess Isis and Stella D’oro are just some of the artists performing at this evening of hodgepodge entertainment benefiting the 2012 Phreak N’ Queer Art and Mu-

—Michael Blancato

showmanship, he did bring impeccable, even unprecedented, musical standards to American culture, and nearly a century after his accomplishments, it is more than fitting that the vivacious new music director, Yannick Nézet-Séguin, usher in his own historic tenure with a Stoky tribute spread across four concerts, featuring a hit parade of the music that made his fame, including, of course, a Fantasia special with a live music screening of the landmark Disney film. Note the special venue, our dear old lady of Broad Street.

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Submit information by email (listings@citypaper.net) to Caroline Russock or enter them yourself at citypaper.net/submit-event with the following details: date, time, address of venue, telephone number and admission price. Incomplete submissions will not be considered, and listings information will not be accepted over the phone.

sic Festival. “All the performers I chose have the capacity to do something sophisticated and provocative,” says Lefae. “But Grab Bag gives them the opportunity to do something risky and courageous, in the hopes that the outcome will be nothing short of spectacularatious.” Costumes are encouraged, so dress to transgress.

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make anyone take an off-kilter approach. Some recent Braxton alumni share a bill at the Rotunda this weekend: Two-thirds of the vocal/accordion/cello trio Broadcloth perform in Braxton’s ensembles, as does bassist Carl Testa, who will perform solo, augmented by electronics. Testa has also composed a piece for the local guitar trio of Travis Woodson, Nick Millevoi and Alban Bailly, all of whom are spiritual disciples of Braxton’s idiom-squelching instincts, even without the actual degree. —Shaun Brady Fri., June 22, 8 p.m., free, The Rotunda, 4014 Walnut St., therotunda.org.

[ dj nights ]

✚ DRANKENSTEIN Austin’s Bird Peterson is bringing his Drankenstein project to Philly for the first time at Medusa’s infamous Pagan Disco

party. Alongside hometown staples BattleAxeBaby and Bombé, he’ll be weaving together Dirty South rap and trance synths in perfect harmony. Check out his releases on BP Americo, Teenage Riot and Mad Decent. This guy is surefire dancefloor fodder.

Fri., June 22, 8:30 p.m., $7-$10, with Birds of Maya and Slow Tongued Beauty, PhilaMOCA, 531 N. 12th St., 267-519-9651, philamoca.org.

[ jazz ]

[ gypsy jazz/swing ]

✚ BLUES CONTROL

✚ HARMONIOUS WAIL

This duo of Lea Cho and

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rary originals.

Fri., June 22, 8 p.m., $20-$25, PSALM Salon, 5841 Overbrook Ave., 215-4777578, psalmsalon.com.

SATURDAY

6.23 ✚ AZIZ ANSARI

credits mando-madman Jethro Burns for inspiration to carry on. Jazz vocal diva Maggie Delaney-Potthoff keeps the pulse on percussion, from bossa nova to jazz standards to contempo-

[ the agenda ]

—Mary Armstrong

[ comedy ]

—Shaun Brady

Fri., June 22, 10 p.m., free, Medusa Lounge, 27 S. 21st St., 215-557-1981, medusalounge.com.

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J U N E 2 1 - J U N E 2 7 , 2 0 1 2 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T

can do more harm than good. Harmonious Wail? Despite their moniker, these are serious players and singers. At present, they’ve condensed to a trio, with mandolin covering the territory usually assisted by guitar and violin in string swing combos. With agile bassist Jeff Weiss, it’s no problem for mandolinist Sims Delaney-Potthoff, who

—Gair “Dev79” Marking

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Russ Waterhouse recently relocated to the Lehigh Valley, and there’s something of the region’s mist-covered expanses echoed in the hazy openness of their latest, Valley Tangents (Drag City). Still, it’s not all tripping through idyllic scenery, as the band’s airy spaces are constantly invaded by swirling psych guitar, antic keyboard jitters or stuttering drum machines. Imagine a robot jazz band falling in with a group of wandering minstrels and blissing out to the view of mountains on the horizon.

Though it’s never a good idea to give the megalomaniacs positive reinforcement, Aziz Ansari owes a couple daps to Kanye West. Yes, he talks about hanging with the famously self-absorbed megastar on his 2010 album Intimate Moments for a Sensual Evening, but it’s less about that and more about the fast-rising Human Giant alum’s love-filled skewering of swollen hip-hop culture as a whole. From his jitbag character Randy in 2009’s Funny People to Tom Haverford, the ambitious Parks and Recreation buffoon who spits his own impenetrable rap-inspired vernacular, Ansari is unique in his ability to capitalize on the inherently preposterous musical genre while never letting us forget that he’s a fan. His last standup special, the Web-released Dangerously Delicious,

featured an anecdote about observing 50 Cent becoming flummoxed by a grapefruit soda at a restaurant. Here’s hoping Buried Alive, which swings through Philly for two shows this weekend, is blessed with stories about Rick Ross shopping at The Container Store or Weezy killing it at the DMV. —Drew Lazor Sat., June 23, 7 and 10 p.m., $35, Merriam Theater, 215-893-1999, kimmelcenter.org.

MONDAY

6.25 [ jazz ]

✚ CHRISTIAN MCBRIDE & INSIDE STRAIGHT While it’s well established by now that Christian McBride can do pretty much anything, it’s seeming more and more these days like he is literally doing everything. The Phillyborn bassist has provided the groove for everyone from Chick Corea to James Brown over the course of his career,

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—Shaun Brady Mon., June 25, 8 p.m., free, Wiggins Waterfront Park, Riverside Drive and Mickle Boulevard, Camden, N.J., ccparks.com.

WEDNESDAY

6.27 [ rock/pop ]

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✚ HEYWARD HOWKINS “You gave a sibilant shout, and then the baby was out,” sings Philadelphia’s Heyward Howkins on the breathtaking “Thunderin’ Stop,” the opening track on the Trouble With Sweeney vet’s The Hale & Hearty. It’s an arresting image and an apt metaphor for the feeling one has upon discovering this stunningly composed solo debut. The 11 tracks of exquisitely arranged chamber pop arrive, as if from nowhere, as a fully formed marriage of sophisticated orchestration and whimsical poesy. There are obvious comparisons to be made to the likes of Bon Iver or M. Ward on songs like “Sugar Sand, Stitched Lip” or the title track, as Howkins’ soaringly emotive voice sketches up conflicts between modern living and simpler ways. On “Spanish Moss,” Howkins nods to his hometown (“My city’s way hung-over/ Still sore from red October”) and his ancestors in the Southern cotton industry (“Brimmed hats on babes in waiting/ Magnolia is housing/ Heywards on cotton

[ the agenda ]

queerbait Josh Middleton on the LGBTQ scene

³ STOOD UP In 2009, surrounded by a sea of adoring gays that packed the main dancefloor in Voyeur, Jess Carpenter took home the coveted Outstanding Comedian prize at the Gayborhood Games. Three years later, he can’t draw a gay audience to save his life. That doesn’t mean he isn’t working, though. The 42-year-old comedic storyteller performs regularly in regional casinos and comedy clubs and hosts his own show, “Comedian Deconstruction,” every month in Bella Vista. So where are all his queer supporters? Stuck in a “gay bubble,” he says. “If a show isn’t in the [Gayborhood], it’s hard to get the word out to gay people.” Plus, “finding support from the LGBTQ community [is nearly impossible] … if your performance isn’t a drag show or doesn’t involve strippers.” Though he’s grateful for his devoted hetero audiences, he says performing for that demographic limits his ability to talk about gay issues or write jokes about being queer. “I’m getting more work if I keep the gay out of my set,” he says with a sigh. But he’s not losing hope. For Pride month, he’s organized his first all-queer Comedian Deconstruction. He was hesitant to put it together after a similar performance recently held at Queen Village’s Shubin Theatre drew all of four people, but he decided go all out — from drawing up Wizard of Oz-themed postcards to asking some of Philly’s most popular gay funny people to join the party. Performers include Camp Tabu host Alejandro Morales, trans creator of Comedy Test Kitchen Julia Scotti and up-and-coming eight-person improv team Malone. The theme for the evening is “stereotypes,” so let’s pop his assumption about the gay bubble and fill that house like nobody’s business. The strippers’ll still be shaking their wangs tomorrow. Thu., June 21, 7:30 p.m., L’Etage, 624 S. Sixth St., 215-592-0656, comediandeconstrustion.com. (josh.middleton@citypaper.net) Have an upcoming LGBTQ event? Give it here. E-mail listings@citypaper.net.

couches”). It all adds up to one of the most pleasantly surprising local debuts in some time. —Brian Howard Wed., June 27, 8 p.m., $8 donation, with Sofia Talvik and Emily Arin, at PhilaMOCA, 531 N. 12th St., philamoca.org.

[ chamber pop/hip-hop ]

✚ PORTLAND CELLO PROJECT “Hey Ya” has long been a crowd-pleaser for the indieleaning Portland Cello Project, so word that the ensemble would be dedicating most of its latest effort to hip-hop was exciting. Problem is, not every song lends itself to being made over by a fleet of cellos; melody, it turns out, is a key factor, and few modern hip-hop hits have what it takes. While it’s lost a bit in the transition from audi-

TARINA WESTLUND

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and seems to show up on every big stage in need of a powerhouse band. Beyond his all-star duties, he’s been keeping himself exceptionally busy of late, debuting his first big band and participating in an album’s worth of duos with co-conspirators like Hank Jones, Roy Hargrove and Angelique Kidjo. With all of that going on, it seems his Inside Straight quintet is an attempt to strip away the clutter and get back to roots. The band combines vets like saxophonist Steve Wilson and drummer Carl Allen with its secret weapon, young vibraphone up-and-comer Warren Wolf, for deeply in-the-pocket hard bop driven by the leader’s nimble, broad-shouldered bass.

ence-participation moment to album track, the OutKast number stands out on Homage (Jealous Butcher); stripped of its corny lyrics, “Canon on a Lollipopalicious Theme” — based on Lil Wayne’s “Lollipop” — gains heft. But while Kanye West and Jay-Z compositions like “That’s My B” and “H.A.M.” are pleasant enough, PCP’s just stringing us along. —M.J. Fine Wed., June 27, 8 p.m., $12-$13, with Ensemble Sans Maître, World Café Live, 3025 Walnut St., 215-222-1400, worldcafelive.com.

[ the agenda ]

✚ FIONA APPLE

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Wed., June 27, 8 p.m., $62.50-$79.75, with Blake Mills, Tower Theater, 69th and Ludlow sts, 610-352-2887, livenation.com.

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the album — her first in seven years, shorthanded The Idler Wheel ‌ (Epic) — it proves equally contradictory and defiant of easy encapsulation. It’s easily her most stripped-down (mostly just piano, clutterdrawer percussion and an unvarnished voice that seems capable of nearly anything) and least readily digested (saying a lot), although it does appear to have some reflective, even happy, things to say about love.

/2D3@B=@7/: AC>>:3;3<B

the agenda

The outpouring of excitement accompanying Fiona Apple’s return to the active column this year has felt, strikingly among such cases, triggered by genuine love and enthusiasm for the woman herself much more than any actual new music. It’s a response remarkable in its pervasiveness, if not its fervency: She’s always had an uncommon ability to affect

the naked city | feature | a&e

[ rock/pop ]

Quinn began his comic career in New York as a regular on the comedy circuit. He made his television debut as co-host of MTV’s popular game show “Remote Control,â€? and later landed a spot on the legendary late-night show “Saturday Night Live,â€? where he entertained audiences for ďŹ ve seasons. More than standup comedy, Colin Quinn’s Long Story Short is a hilarious blend of incisive observation, sharp commentary, and the channeling of famous (and infamous) personalities. From Socrates to Snooki, Quinn is at his satirical best, taking on the attitudes and appetites that toppled the world’s most powerful nations, proving that throughout history, the joke has always been on us! “HILARIOUS!â€? – New York Times. “BRISK AND SEINFELDIAN!â€? – New York Magazine “HISTORICAL AND HYSTERICAL. VERY, VERY FUNNY!â€? – NY Post Call 215.985.0420 or visit philadelphiatheatrecompany.org

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her audience, even when the exact hows and whys can be elusive. Her astonishing SXSW appearances in March revealed a performer at once frail and ferocious, dynamic and austere, far from comfortable in her own skin, but uncompromising in her readiness to share that discomfort. Now that we have

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portioncontrol By Adam Erace

DOUGH-EYED PIZZERIA DIMEO’S | 8500 Henry Ave., 215-6216134, pizzeriadimeos.com. Open Mon.-Wed., 10 a.m.-9 p.m.; Thu.-Sat., 10 a.m.-10 p.m.; Sun., 11 a.m.-9 p.m. Appetizers and sides, $3-$12; paninis, $8-$9; pastas, $14-$17; pizzas, $9-$13.

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³ “WE JUST RAN out of dough” is not what you

want to hear when you sit down, famished, at a pizzeria. A spritelike waitress bore bread with the bad news; the last two pies had just been ordered by the family of six one table over. I glowered. I leered. I sulked. Couldn’t they have just shared one pie? I’d daydreamed about pizza the whole drive out here, “here” being Andorra, just northwest of Roxborough, home to two-month-old Pizzeria DiMeo’s, owned by father and son Pino and Antimo DiMeo. I’d heard about their dough, coaxed together with water, salt and 00 flour. I’d heard about the oven, capable of cooking pies to a Neapolitan puff in 90 seconds. About the tomatoes and buffalo mozzarella imported from Campania. The H2O gets shipped in from the old country, too, carbon footprint be damned. DiMeo’s is the anti-locavore pizza, albeit no less artisanal, with pies made strictly according to the soft-centered Naples school. I wish I could tell you what they taste like.“Because we prepare the dough a couple days in advance, says 19-year-old Antimo, “it’s not like we can whip a fresh batch together when we run out.” Fortunately, DiMeo’s is a pizzeria that excels in more than just pizza. Like the backlit model Mount Vesuvius on the wall, the menu erupts with simple but staggeringly good Italian cooking. If there’s someplace serving better mussels, I don’t know it. Sun-dried tomatoes, creamy cannellini beans (some mashed), white wine and the bivalves’ natural brine created a dynamic liquid. You can also get the mussels red, made with trumpeted San Marzano tomatoes. Sweet, vivid, almost prickly with acidity, they’re the heartbeat of many dishes here. Simmered in the San Marzanos with onion, the meatballs were ablaze with brightness. While basil murmured through a pan of potato gnocchi alla Sorrentina, the same flavor-dense marinara kept the sweet leaves in check. Another pasta, the lauded “di Gragnano” — dried in the mountain air of the Napoletano town of the same name, it’s “the best dry pasta in the world,” says Antimo — got the same tomato treatment, though the paccheri tubes were as much a credit to the beauty of this dish. Dense, firm and snappy, the pasta chewed like something of consequence. I’m coming back for a pizza. But also for much more than that. (adam.erace@citypaper.net)

FREEZE FRAME: At Ela, a chili-cured salmon dish comes with a sriracha-and-lime-spiked avocado ice cream. NEAL SANTOS

[ dessert/not dessert ]

SWEET RELIEF Local chefs are expanding the boundaries of savory ice cream flavors — and where the frozen treat shows up on menus. Chicken skin, anyone? By Brion Shreffler

T

here’s hardly any other food so universally equated with childhood happiness as ice cream. And to make it, all you need are four basic ingredients: milk, cream, egg yolk and sugar. But Philly chefs are expanding ice cream’s expected flavor range beyond just sweet and creamy, while leaving previous concepts of savory ice cream in the dust. To ice cream’s happy associations they’re bringing new elements while radically rethinking the dessert, telling us that it can be just another component of dishes that show up on any section of a menu. After all, could there be a more unapoloMore on: getic challenge nailed to the frozen-dessert church door than scrapple ice cream? “Ice cream feels like the most approachable and comfortable medium for introducing people to new and unexpected flavor combos,” says Monica Glass, who consults on all things pastry for Fish. She avoids heavier desserts. Savory elements, while making a dish lighter, “also tend to brighten it and boost flavor and impact without boosting the heaviness.” For example, at chef Peter Woolsey’s annual duck dinner at his Bistrot La Minette, Glass offered a brilliant balancing act: a

citypaper.net

duck-fat-enriched sticky bun served with a bourbon ice cream surrounded by an accumulation of duck cracklings. “It’s all about balancing salty with sweet — or with fat — complementing and offsetting flavors as you would in any dish,” says chef Brad Spence of Amis. At a recent Industry Night, Spence’s spheres of butterfat ice cream quickly disappeared, their robustness cut by a sail of crisp, delicately salty chicken skin. Welcome to the newest realm of savory ice creams, where herbs, cheese and brittle chicken skin reside. That scrapple version? It’s just one creation dreamed up by the beautiful mind of Thomas McCarthy, pastry chef at Morimoto. While understanding that people often want familiar touchstones amid Morimoto’s adventurous omakase menu, McCarthy is hardly putting out anything quotidian, even when it comes to ice cream. “At Morimoto and other places, people are looking for something they haven’t had before,” he says. “They get that in the first three courses, and then we comfort them — but it still has to have something of the exotic.” MORE FOOD AND Made for a staff meal after a small order DRINK COVERAGE of scrapple was accidentally delivered as a AT C I T Y P A P E R . N E T / full case, the resulting ice cream was more M E A LT I C K E T. than just scrapple-flavored: There was an evocation of a breakfast of scrapple drizzled with syrup and eaten with French toast. To the ice cream’s base of coffee, brown sugar and maple syrup, McCarthy added chunks of actual French toast and the scrapple, candied in maple syrup. For the menu, he makes a chevre ice cream. For a special-occasions dessert, he infuses Chinese five-spice into a heated mixture for the >>> continued on adjacent page

✚ Sweet Relief <<< continued from previous page

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base. After it’s turned into soft serve, he folds in some pork fu, the sweetened, shredded pork that adorns Chinatown pastries and that here balances out the five-spice. Focus on the scrapple or the pork and you miss the point, which is that pastry chefs can display the same creativity seen elsewhere in the kitchen, where ingredients are expected to play off each other while creating broad, ponderous flavor profiles. But that’s high chef talk. What about the people with no professional training who benefit from never having been told they’re screwing up? Enter Peter Angevine. “That was a joke that went really well,” the Little Baby’s Ice Cream co-owner says of the pizza ice cream created for Pizza Brain’s 2011 pizza-memorabilia show. Angevine and partner Martin Brown decided to do “the most obvious and dumb thing we could think of,” says Angevine. Along with that flavor, Morimoto’s McCarthy collaborated with Little Baby’s on another for the event: anchovy ice cream. “The pizza ice cream was good. The anchovy was a hook, a novel experience — I never had anything like that before that moment. It was very emotional in that way,” McCarthy says. Little Baby’s also makes an Old Bay-and-barbecue ice cream billed as tasting like “you’re eating ribs and crabs.” The flavor — thankfully — doesn’t pop right away, but builds slowly. “I’m inspired by ice cream as a blank canvas. There’s a great opportunity to try all sorts of things,” Angevine says. “And it’s really hard to mess up.” Sam Jacobson of Sycamore, via a collaboration dinner at Han Dynasty with David Ansill and Han Chiang, helped put together a ginger-molasses fruitcake with walnut syrup, to which they applied a Sichuan-peppercorn ice cream. It went beyond the dinner’s purpose of putting a Chinese spin on Western dishes. “It was strong, intense,” Jacobson says. “The people who got it loved it,” he says of the divisive, numbing experience. At Lacroix, Jon Cicho pairs blanched asparagus with asparagus ice cream. To a melodious plate brimming with freshness and color, the ice cream contributes a cool, breezy chorus. “The sugar of the ice cream cuts the slight bitterness of the asparagus,” Cichon says. Similar applications play out across town at Ela via the Musashi-like precision of chef Jason Cichonski. To a salty, chili-cured salmon tartar, Cichonski applies a cannelle of avocado ice cream that carries salt, cilantro, lime and a dash of sriracha. The ice cream echoes the chill of the salmon and extends the creaminess of avocado. While describing what a bone-marrow or truffle ice cream means to his cooking, Cichonski explains that any ice cream embodies the same principles as other sauces he prepares. Though for appetizers and mains, he avoids using the words “ice cream” on the menu’s description. He wants people to figure it out for themselves. “We want it to be fun, to broaden horizons,” he says. “If I give a dish to them in the same way as anyone else, why come here?” (editorial@citypaper.net)

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[ food & drink ]

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food

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[ food & drink ]

HOW WE DO IT: The restaurants, bars and markets listed in this section rotate every week and are compiled by City Paper editorial staff. If you have suggestions or corrections,email restaurants@citypaper.net.

✚ AMERICAN RITTENHOUSE TAVERN

gracetavern.com

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The Art Alliance is now home to Rittenhouse Tavern, a new one from national management company Restaurant Associates. The Tavern’s taking an ambitious upscale-casual approach via chef Nicholas Elmi (late of Le Bec-Fin) and “chef collaborator� Ed Brown, RA’s Michelin-starred senior VP. Dishes like local fluke crudo, seared scallops with turnips, farro and yuzu, and a Sunday-supper Amish fried-chicken spread are complemented by local beers and a big wine list. There’s a handsome outdoor courtyard garden for al fresco addicts. Open Tue.-Thu., 510 p.m.; Fri.-Sat., 5-11 p.m.; Sun., 5-9 p.m.; brunch served Sat.-Sun., 11 a.m.-3 p.m. Philadelphia Art Alliance, 251 S. 18th St., 215-7322412, rittenhousetavern.com.

MORGAN'S PIER

The old Rock Lobster spot on the waterfront is now Morgan’s Pier, courtesy of nightlife capo Avram Hornik. The spot will host live music shows and DJs, but the food is a lure: David Katz of MÊmÊ has developed a menu around the idea of a weekend cookout at a chef's house. There’s fried fare like salt-and-pepper squid and popcorn shrimp, but also lighter offerings including Baja fish tacos and grilled local corn. To drink: 20-plus drafts, 20-plus craft cans and a full bar. Open Mon.Thu., 4 p.m.-2 a.m.; Fri.-Sat., 11 a.m.-2 a.m. 221 N. Columbus Blvd., 215-279-7134, morganspier.com.

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SQUARE PEG

Barry Gutin and Larry Cohen (Cuba Libre) have brought Matt Levin into their fray for Square Peg, a restaurant granting the chef the latitude to play with updated interpretations of comfy American diner foods. Levin (Lacroix, Adsum) is doing lighthearted but very hearty plates ranging from fish and chips and cheesesteak pot pie to his signature fried chicken with collards and Kool-Aid-pickled watermelon. Open for lunch Mon.Fri., 11 a.m.-3 p.m.; open for dinner Mon.-Thu., 3-11 p.m.; Fri.-Sat., 3 p.m.-midnight; Sun., 3-10 p.m.; brunch served Sat.-Sun., 10 a.m.-3 p.m. 929 Walnut St., 215-413-3600, squarepegrestaurant.com.

along with chef Steve Forte’s pubby menu, featuring burgers, dogs and hand-carved meats roasted inhouse. Open daily, 3 p.m.-2 a.m. 216 S. 11th St., 215-922-3427.

LOCAL 44 BOTTLE SHOP

Brendan Hartranft and Leigh Maida have opened a bottle shop attached to their West Philly beer bar, Local 44. Stocking more than 500 varieties of beer in the cold case, the owners have also dedicated a section to rarity-hunting beer geeks, with shelves stocked with high-end large-format bottles. There are a few seats available to sit around and crack open your purchases, or enjoy a pour off L44’s beer engine, which is routed over to this side of the space. Open Sun.-Thu., noon-10 p.m.; Fri.-Sat., noon-midnight. 4333 Spruce St., 215-222-CANS, local44beerbar.com.

✚ BURGERS SHAKE SHACK

Philly has gotten a branch of Danny Meyer’s New York burger bar. Burgers (antibiotic- and hormone-free), dogs (split and griddled) and fries headline the menu, but don’t overlook the triple-thick Concretes with mix-ins like soft pretzel, marshmallow, caramel and banana; or strawberry puree, lemon ricotta and Termini cannolli-shell shards. Open daily 11 a.m.-11 p.m. 2000 Sansom St., 215-809-1742, shakeshack.com.

✚ JAPANESE NOM NOM RAMEN

Alan Su is easing his way into Philly noodlery with Nom Nom, his hakata-style ramen-ya. His shop is offering four styles of soup, all starting with a pork-broth base — shoyu (soy), shio (salt) and two miso varieties, one straight-up and one spicy. Ramen comes garnished with pork belly, bamboo shoots, poached eggs and plenty more; Su’s also doing a small selection of appetizers, like pork buns. Open for lunch Mon.-Fri., 11 a.m.-2:30 p.m.; open for dinner Mon.Thu. and Sun., 5-9 p.m.; Fri.-Sat., 5-10 p.m. 20 S. 18th St., 215-988-0898.

✚ VEGAN HIP CITY VEG

✚ BAR/PUB THE BOILERMAKER

Matt Scheller and Matt and Colleen Swartz of The Farmers’ Cabinet (1113 Walnut St.) have launched The Boilermaker, specializing in the ever-satisfying beer-and-shot combo. Not just limited to Citywides, the liquor lineup is bolstered by a selection of artisanal boilermakers (think a St. Somewhere Saison with a shot of Aviation Gin). Twentyeight beers on tap downstairs, plus 12 more upstairs. This all goes

Nicole Marquis is fulfilling the demand for mainstream vegan fast food with Hip City Veg. Steering clear of preachitude, Marquis’ aim is to provide a “100 percent plantbased� experience “familiar to meat eaters.� Her chef, Lauren Hooks, is knocking out a menu with populist appeal — think the “Ziggy� burger, a meatless riff on the Big Mac, and a crispy “chick’n� sandwich. There are also salads, sides and smoothies, all built with local seasonal ingredients. Open daily, 10 a.m.-10 p.m. 127 S. 18th St., 215-278-7605, hipcityveg.com.

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KARAOKE

smiths

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restaurant bar

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FEELS BETTER THAN IT SOUNDS Tuesdays 10pm-2am on 19th Between Chestnut and Market

267.546.2669 www.smiths-restaurant.com

20122013 YOUR PREMIER MAGAZINE FEATURING EVERYTHING PHILLY!

CITY GUIDE

PUBLICATION DATE: AUGUST 23 SPACE RESERVATION DEADLINE: JULY 11

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2011-2012

FOR MORE INFORMATION CONTACT YOUR ACCOUNT MANAGER OR CALL 215.825.2496

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highlights Philly’s unique neighborhoods showcasing restaurants, galleries, bars, clubs, boutiques, retail shops, markets, music venues and more!

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By Matt Jones

35

“I SEE LONDON” — BUT CAN YOU SEE THE OLYMPIC MESSAGE?

Y O U R P R E M I E R M A G A Z I N E F E AT U R I N G E V E R Y T H I N G P H I L LY !

CITY GUIDE highlights Philly’s unique neighborhoods showcasing restaurants, galleries, bars, clubs, boutiques, retail shops, markets, music venues and more!

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20122013

jonesin’

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COPIES OF CITY GUIDE WILL BE DISTRIBUTED AT THE FOLLOWING LOCATIONS: •

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Abbr. describing British pounds Bullfighting cheer Five-nation project in the sky: abbr. “___ longa, vita brevis” The AFL’s labor partner No longer active, as a boxer: abbr. Palindromic Cambodian leader Lon ___ Perrins’ steak sauce partner Keep score Glastonbury ___ (hill in England) Much ___ About Nothing Back muscle, for short Predetermine Where a victorious team’s road leads, so it’s said Poem section “The long wait ___” Right in the middle of the rankings: abbr. Big ___ (London landmark) Presidential nickname One of many hooked to a train Tear into pieces Abbr. on nutrition labels ___-country (Drive-By Truckers’ genre) Hit song from Achtung Baby TV character who ate cats 2012 Seth MacFarlane movie with Mark Wahlberg “Yeah, I bet you do ... ” laugh Blood relatives Nervous twitch Computer storage units, for short Fix a manuscript

50 52 54 57 62 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76

There’s no accounting for it Smoky get-togethers, for short “Just ___ bit too much ... ” TV comedy show with Goldie Hawn How people read to their kids Part of IPA “What ___, chopped liver?” Early travel journalist Nellie Stat for Hank Aaron Tony winner Caldwell Taco Bell sauce choice Tattoos, slangily Three sheets to the wind Extremely long time Ques. counterpart ___ kwon do ___ Plaines, Illinois

✚ DOWN 1 Bunches 2 Chart for beachcombers 3 Song heard frequently during the 2012 Diamond Jubilee 4 MMA fighter Tito 5 “I Will Be” singer Lewis 6 Raison d’___ 7 No Clue 8 ___ the finish 9 “Me too!” 10 Walks through the mud 11 Where Olympic athletes come from to convene in London 12 Wrecked from the back 13 Mythical creature with goat horns 23 ST: ___ (fan abbreviation for a later “Star Trek” series) 25 Tennis tactic

30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 39 49 51 52 53 55 56 58 59 60 61 62 63 64

“What a relief!” Drink in a red can Have ___ with (be connected to) Tear into pieces No Clue “Invasion of Your Privacy” glam rock band Olympic figure skater Kulik Some soldiers: abbr. They blink on websites Text, for short “Que ___?” (“How’s it going?” in Spanish) Huge fire Bear from The Jungle Book “Memories of You” pianist Blake Takes some movie scenes out “That’s kinda funny!” “___ Fire” (Springsteen song) Bugs that get “picked” No Clue Passing blurb Forearm bone Kid

PHOTO BY NEAL SANTOS

FOR MORE INFORMATION CONTACT YOUR ACCOUNT MANAGER OR CALL 215.825.2496

ADOP

US

LAST WEEK’S SOLUTION

PRINCE VALIANT & LADY GODIVA!

We are Prince Valiant and Lady Godiva, an adorable pair of 2-4 year old Chihuahua mixes who were surrendered to the shelter when our owners could no longer keep us. All we want is to snuggle up on your lap and nap the day away. We’re sensitive little dogs and are easily scared by too much commotion, so a calm, adult-only home would be best for us. We’d love to be adopted together, but can split up if need be.

Located on the corner of 2nd and Arch. ✚ ©2012 Jonesin’ Crosswords (editor@jonesincrosswords.com)

T

All PAWS animals are spayed/neutered, vaccinated, and microchipped before adoption. For more information, call 215-238-9901 ext. 30 or email adoptions@phillypaws.org

market place

REGULAR MASSAGE THERAPY

Special Price! $45/hr. Call (215)-873-4835. 1218 Chestnut St.

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HOT Guys! HOT Chat! Hot FUN! Try FREE! Call 888779-2789

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ANY CAR/Truck. Running or Not! Top Dollar Paid. We Come to You! Call for Instant Offer. 1-888-420-3808 www. cash4car.com

jobs

Help Wanted CLASS-A DRIVERS

Regional up to 42 CPM. Weekly pay, Benefits, Home Time, Sign ON BONUS, Paid Orientation. 2 Years T/T EXP, 800-524-5051 www.gomvilvaine.com

EARN COLLEGE DEGREE ONLINE

FEMALE ESCORTS NEEDED,

Medical, Business, Criminal Justice, Job Placement assistance. Computer available. Financial Aid if qualified. SCHEV Certified. Call 888220-3984. www.Centuraonline.com

No experience necessary. Phila. and Suburbs, ages 21-60. Must be attractive with a neat, clean appearance and good communication skills. Established agency, full and part time, Call 215-634-5329.

EVENTS

HELP WANTED

Easy day trip! Bring the family and watch history come alive at the annual Gettysburg Civil War Battle Reenactment July 6-8, 2012. Contact: www.gettysburgreenactment.com 717338-1525 Bundle & Save on your CABLE, INTERNET PHONE & MORE. High Speed Internet starting at less than $20/mo. CALL NOW! 1-800-3149361

AVERITT is looking for CDLA Drivers! Great, Low-Cost Benefits Package and Weekly Hometime. 4 -months T/T experience Required. Apply Now! 888-362-8608. Visit AVERITTcareers.com Equal Opportunity Employer HELP WANTED

HELP WANTED

Drivers: Great pay, quarterly safety bonus. Hometime choices. Steady freight, full or par t time. Safe, clean, modern trucks. CDL-A, 3 months current OTR experience. 800-414-9569 www. driveknight.com HELP WANTED

A childless, financially secure couple (37&42) seeks to adopt. Together 18 years. Flexible work schedules. Expenses paid. Call Rich & Tim 1-800-494-4533.

INTERNET CASH FOR CARS

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Drivers - CDL-A DRIVERS NEEDED! Up to $5,000 Signon Bonus for experienced Drivers! New Student pay AND Lease Program now

Out of HIgh School? Over 18? Your 1rst Phenomenal Opportunity to Travel While Earning Big $$$. No experience necessary. Paid training. Transportation/Lodging provided. 1-877-646-5050 HELP WANTED

PROFESSIONAL CLASS A DRIVERS: OTR tractor trailer, good pay, great home time, health insurance, 401(K), paid vacation, bonus package, and top equipment all in a small company atmosphere, backed up with large company benefits/ Call Victoria 877-8339307 or visit www.pamdrivers. com HELP WANTED

We’re a Driver’s Company that’s focused on drivers. Solos 437 & Teams .513 1 Yr OTR exp CDL-A-Hazmat. Solos $2000, Teams $7500 Sign on. 877-628-3748 www,DriveNCTrans.com HELP WANTED DRIVER

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Extra Income! Assembling CD cases from Home! No Experience Necessary! Call our Live Operator Now! 1-800-4057619 Ext. 2450 http://www. easywork-greatpay.com

Situations Wanted JOB WANTED LOOK!!!

I am looking for work...I am a General Helper that can do anything. You name it.... reliable dependable morning person. Frank 267-9180516.

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real estate

LAND FOR SALE

WATERFRONT PROPERTY SALE, NY: 8 acres waterfront home $99,900. 5 acres West Bass Pond $19,900. 5 Acres Deer Creek Forest $14,900. Financing available. www. landfirstNY.com 1-888-6832626

Resort/ Vacation Property for Sale VACATION RENTALS

OCEAN CITY, MARYLAND. Best selection of affordable rentals. Full/partial weeks. Call for FREE brochure. Open daily. Holiday Real Estate. 1-800638-2102 Online reservations: www.holidayoc.com.

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rentals

LAND FOR SALE

NY Land & Cabin Bargain Sale: Classic Adirondack Camp 5 acres - $29,995. Cozy Cabin-Base Camp 5 acres $19,995. Near 1000’s of acres of Stateland, lakes, & rivers. Access to snowmobile & ATV trails. Our best deal ever! Call 800-229-7843. See pics at www.landandcamps.com

WWW.MAMBOMOVERS.COM

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Roommates ALL AREAS-ROOMATES. COM

Browse hundreds of online listings with photos and maps. Find your roommate with a click of the mouse! Visit: http:// www.Roommates.com.

?? GOT BED BUGS ??

I am currently looking in Center City a one or two bedroom 1st floor front or Rent vacant unit rented. 2 months down. Older male. Ask for Frank 267-918-0516.

OLD CITY

Vacation/ Seasonal Rental

roommate wanted 7/1 to share 2bdrm bilevel apt, 1500 sq ft, 2.5 bath, WW, WD, CA, GD, roof access, storage, no pets, $775 mo/each +util. Call 267231-8020.

Homes

Show Us Your Philly. Submit snapshots of the City of Brotherly Love, however you see it, at:

photostream@ citypaper.net

BRIGANTINE

Pets OK. Available 6/21-6/24 $575; July/August $1350/ week; 9/2-9/9 $1025; 9/99/16 $925. www.BrigB.com 856-217-0025

4XX HOFFMAN (PENNSPORT AREA)

Newly Renovated Modern 3

@2?C602@ Opportunity to be a host and/or a local coordinator! Looking for families in or near Philadelphia to host and/or coordinate with international students this fall. Both will be compensated on a monthly basis.

Torchia & Associates

CONCIERGE LEGAL SERVICES GENERAL PRACTICE – ESTATE & TAX PLANNING

1420 Walnut Street, Suite 1216 215-546-1950; watorchia@gmail.com www.generallawďŹ rm.com

INVITE YOU AND A SIBLING OR FRIEND TO GO TO THE MOVIES! For your chance to win a pass, go to the contest page online at:

www.citypaper.net/win NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. While supplies last. One entry per person or address. Winners will be chosen at random. Each winner will receive one (admit-two) pass. Ticket does not guarantee seating. This screening is overbooked to ensure a full house. You are encouraged to arrive early to reserve your seat. No phone calls, please. Seating is not guaranteed. Entries must be received today by 6 PM. This ďŹ lm is rated PG-13 for language, some drug use and brief sexuality. Must be 13 years of age or older to enter.

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215.670.9535

Just Renovated 3 Bedroom Home, New Kitchen, New Bathroom, New Hardwood Floors, Fridge, Washer/Dryer, Garbage Disposal, $950. Call Pete: 267-307-0371

APARTMENT WANTED FOR MYSELF!

Apartments for Rent

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Rental Wanted

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MISC/PERSONALS

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food | the agenda | a&e | feature | the naked city classifieds

everything pets pets/livestock Please be aware Possession of exotic/wild animals may be restricted in some areas.

Ragdoll Kittens: Beautiful, guaranteed, home raised. Call 610-731-0907 Rag Doll Kittens males and females, S/W ready to go. 856-562-9194

AMERICAN Staffordshire Terrier Pups $350 incl shots call Edgar 267-716-0071.

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BEAGLE pups - AKC, 7 weeks, 1st shots/wormed, males. $350. 14 month old male, all shots, $200. 215-547-6314 Boston Terrier, Tiny Female, available, shots, wormed, 856-562-9194 BOXER - ACA. Vet checked, Fawn w/ White. 4 F, 3 M. $795. 717-989-0839 BULL MASTIFF puppies, AKC registered, Females, $700. 856-875-8486 Cane Corso black brindle, 5m, 4f, big boned, tails docked, dewormed, ICCF registered. Best to txt 215-327-9690 Cavalier King Charles M/F, 5 year guar $900. 610-485-4020 or 610-800-1970

Cavalier King Charles Puppies: gorgeous, M & F, great bloodlines, 484-332-3516 Cavalier Puppies - (215) 538-2179 www.willowspringcavaliers.com Cocker Spaniel M/F, Ready now, shots/ vet checked, $350. 267-242-3408 English Mastiff AKC pups, ready 6/18, Lanc Co. $1000 (717) 278-8447

Lab pups, AKC, hips, elbows & eyes certified, shots & wormed. (610) 286-0329

Lab Pups, AKC, s/w, home raised, health guar. 610-944-3609 or 610-506-7109

Lab pups, black, AKC, vet checked, family raised, excellent temperment parents ready now, $400. (717)940-2545

Labradoodle Pups - Chocolate, cream, light brown, playful/cute 610-636-5090

Labrador Retriever Puppies - AKC, shots, wormed, dew claws removed, $600. Call 402-450-3488

Maltese Pups - 2M, 2F, parents on premises, ready June 11th. Call 267-992-4252 Malti-Poo Male puppy, 16 weeks, health gaurantee, S/W, $300. (610)913-0393 Miniature Schnauzer Pups, 8 weeks old. Champion Sire, AKC 609-386-6550 Pit Bulls Blues $2000 (717)715-6981 www.bullycountrypitbulls.com

Poodle Puppies: Standard, 10 weeks, home raised, multiple colors, females $500, males $400. 610-489-3781 PUGGLE PUPS born 4/1. Vet checked. First shots, wormed. $600 Call 610-404-1229 or 267-994-7244

ROTTWEILER 7 AKC Pups ready 7/10/12 B$850 - G$900. Raheem 215-921-1079 Rottweiler - Nice big AKC puppies, European champ lines, 717-278-0932

German Sheperd Pups, AKC, beautiful, black and tan, health certified, 9 weeks, ready now, $500. (717)442-8142 Gap, PA

SHELTIES AKC, tri-male , $600. 3 months, great pedigree and parents, vet checked, (610)838-7221

German Shepherd Czech Puppies from Imported Parents $1000 215-498-1863 larvmd2002@yahoo.com German Shepherd pups, 3M, 4F, blk/ beige, s/w, papers, $375. 267-736-0502

Shih Tzu Pups ACA, beautiful, S/W, health gaurantee, $375. (610)286-9076

Golden Retriever AKC, OFA, CERF, Shots/wrmd guarantee 856-769-4787 www.autumngoldenretrievers.com Great Dane Puppies: AKC, brindle colored, Parents on premises. Reduced to $800. Call 302-764-3184 /302-379-3423 Great Danes: rare blue, ch. bld lines, show qual. avail. 25 yrs exp 610.273.9876 LAB PUPS 100% GUAR. READY NOW, MUST COME SEE!!! 215-768-4344. LAB pups, AKC, English & chmp lines, choc & yllow, ex. pets, broad hds, parents on prem, hlth guar $500. 717-354-2674

West Highland Terrier Pups, health guarantee $600 M, $650 F. 717-201-4951 Yorkie Mix Pups, male and female, vet check, S/W, $475. 856-563-0351 Yorkie pups, AKC, very small, 3-5lbs, ready June 9, Call 717-278-0932 YORKSHIRE TERRIER PUPPIES 2 males, rborn 4/7, reg , vet checked, S/W, ready now, $525/each. Call 610-857-5049

merchandise market BRAZILIAN FLOORING 3/4", beautiful, $2.75 sf (215) 365-5826 CABINETS SOLID MAPLE Brand new soft close/dovetail. Fits 10’x10’ kitchen. More cabinets if needed. Cost $6,400. Sell $1,595. 610-952-0033 Diabetic Test Strips needed pay up to $15/box. Most brands. Call 610-453-2525 STAIR LIFT: 8 mo. old, $3000 new, sell for $1800. Call (610)543-7543 The Grand Bed by Tempur-Pedic $5,000 gsmarion@aol.com/610-202-8443

BD a Memory Foam Mattress/BoxsprIng Brand New Queen cost $1400, sell $299; King cost $1700 sell $399. 610-952-0033 BED: New Queen Pillow Top Set $150 . twin, full, king avail. Del avl 215-355-3878 Bedroom Set 5 pc. brand new $399 All sizes, Del. Avail. 215-355-3878

GLASS TOP TABLE & 4 cushioned chairs. $350. Call 856-778-7522 HAIR SALON FURNITURE 8 Stations, desk, shampoo, etc. B/O. 610-506-8157 NEW MATTRESS Sets $125, Twin, Full Queen (in plastic) delivery (215)307-1950

PIANO - Apartment sized grand in excel. cond., Howard, sounding board and case in excel. cond., $700. Call 215-238-9601

2012 Hot Tub/Spa. Brand New! 6 person w/lounger, Cover. Factory warranty. Never installed! Beautiful. Cost $6,000. Ask $2,500. Will deliver. 610-952-0033

ABC TICKETS PHILLIES

BUY and SELL

Merged with GOOD TIME TICKETS

800.355.5555

• SPORTS • CONCERTS www.abctickets.com • THEATRE

EAGLES 2 Season Tickets Section 121, Row 4, (42 yard line) Best Offer. moriarty1@ymail.com. 941-751-0478 Eagle season tickets club level. Call 610-256-2835

33 & 45 Records Absolute Higher $

Trains, Hummels, Sports Cards. Call the Local Higher Buyer, 7 Dys/Wk

Dr. Sonnheim, 856-981-3397

JUNK CARS WANTED Up to $300 for Junk Cars 215-888-8662 Lionel/Am Flyer/Trains/Hot Whls $$$$ Aurora TJet/AFX Toy Cars 215-396-1903 SAXOPHONES, WWII, SWORDS, related items, Lenny3619@aol 609.581.8290

jobs Caregiver/Companion (exp’d) looking for work. Call Mary (484)804-3007 NANNY w/11+ yrs.exp. from Pottstown seeks pos., refs. avail., 610-724-5422

jobs Medical Assistant / Receptionist East Norriton, PA-Physicians Prac.

** Bob 610-532-9408 ***

Books -Trains -Magazines -Toys Dolls - Model Kits 610-689-8476

apartment marketplace 9th/Spring Garden 1br $1100, 2br $1200 large, clean, hrdwd flrs & crpt, A/C, fridge, w/d, security system, 610-304-0087

1342 28th St. 1BR $650/mo. W/D, newly renovated. 267-588-5403 15xx 9th St. Near Italian Market 2br modern, heat incl, no pets, 856-858-4830

1100 S 58th St. 1BR & 2BR Apts newly renov, lic #362013 215-744-9077 Cobbs Creek Pkwy 1 BR or Efficiency. Call 267-770-0789

15xx N. 54th St. 1BR $600 & up $1,800 move-in. LR, DR. 267-972-9693 1xx 56th & Spruce 3BR Must see! Sec. 8 ok. 215-885-1700 40th & Cambridge 2br $645/mo. free utils, Call or text Scott 215-222-2435 512 N. 54th St. 2BR $650+utils 2nd flr, LR, kitch, bath. 267-709-2704 60XX Chestnut Studio 1br $650 all util incl, newly renovated 267-549-3147 63rd & Race 2br newly renovated, 1st floor, new carpet, w/d in basement, Call (215)827-9171

Salary Commensurate with exp. Please fax resume to 610-272-2757

50th & Walton 1br $525 2br $750 Modern, Avail. now. Call 267-266-3661

Class A Drivers

Various 1 & 2 BR Apts $750-$895 www.perutoproperties.com 215.740.4900

Immediate openings at Pumpernickel Express for night delivery of auto parts Must have 3 yrs exp. w/clean CDL. Please Call 877-849-0990

Balwynne Park 2BR $850+utils W/D, C/A, W/W. Call 484-351-8633

Langhorne, PA

GLOBAL CONTROLLER MERCER COUNTY, NJ

CPA required. Exp w/ Int’l cash sweeping a +. Some overseas travel req’d. $150K/yr, full benefits. HR@Crest-Ultrasonics.com

* * * 215-200-0902 * * *

33&45 RECORDS HIGHER $ REALLY PAID LOST - Chocolate Lab, 3 yrs old, tall, long body, long nose, yellow eyes, missing/taken from Delran, NJ. Substantial reward. Any info. call 856-313-5566 View info. online at lostmydoggie.com

Coins, Currency, Gold, Toys,

CNC Programmer/Operator Philadelphia, PA

Must be skilled. Excellent benefits. Call Steve 215-425-6340 x 11

5224 Gainor Rd. 1br $650 heat included 1st, last & security. Call (215)477-8254

1641 W Lehigh Ave. 1BR All Util Incld Newly renov. 215-744-9077, Lic #374062 25xx N 16th 1br $525 newly renov, 1st mo. & sec. 215-954-5332 N. Philadelphia 1br $550 +util Large 1 BR, references 215-276-4119

1,2, 3, 4 Bedroom FURNISHED APTS LAUNDRY-PARKING 215-223-7000

1x Broad St. & Windrim 1br apt Must see! Sec. 8 ok. 215-885-1700

3rd & Godfrey 2Br $750+utils newly renovated. Call 215-876-5969 5253 West Ford Rd 2BR $725 2nd flr, $2250 to move in, 215-455-8962 Front & Olney clean 2BR newly renov., must see! 267-254-8446

102 Manheim small & lrg 1Br units $575-$700. great transp 610-287-9857

1 BR & 2 BR Apts $725-$835 spacious, great loc., upgraded, heat incl, PHA vouchers accepted 215-966-9371 5201 Wayne Ave. Studio & 1BR On site Lndry 215.744.9077 Lic# 311890 53xx Greene St. 1BR/2BR $675/mo. (Greene St. and Penn St.) Conv. transp., tastefully renov., mirrored closet in MBR, hdwd flrs., bonus rm., oak cabs in kitch., micro., ceiling fans, tile BA with claw foot tub. Call 215-242-1204 or 267-250-9822 607 E. Church Lane 1BR & 2BR nr LaSalle Univ,215.744.9077 lic# 494336

63xx Crittenden St 2br $875 separate utils. 215-605-2755 XXX E. Sharpnack St 2BR/1BA $795 Duplex w/pri. entrance, spacious, ample parking, gr8 location 215-839-8822

Broad Oaks 1BR & 2BR Lndry rm. Special Discount! 215-681-1723 E & W. Oaklane 2BR $725 new paint, top floor apt. 215.651.3333

26xx E Somerset 1br $650+elec xtra lrg, close to trans, CC 215-518-6631

3252 Frankford Ave. 1BR $500+elec LR, eat in kitchen, 2nd floor unit, newly renovated. Call (215) 624-7100

41xx Paul Studio $450 includes heat BR, kitch, ba, $1350 move in 215.743.0503 42xx Frankford Ave 1br $490 2nd flr, prvt kit & entrance. 215-289-2973 4670 Griscom 1BR Newly renov, Lic #397063, 215.744.9077

2217 E. Cumberland 2BR Newly renov. 215-744-9077 lic# 356258 FISHTOWN 1BR/1BA $1,150 incl util. York & Memphis X-Large 1BR, 1BA, LR, Kitchen. 267-257-9215

42xx Longshore Ave 1BR $650+utils 2nd flr, new renov, neutral paint & carpet, new appl’s, W/D, A/C, private entr, shared porch & yard, off St prkg. 215-435-2457

Mayfair 1br/1ba $750+utils 2nd flr, carpet, kitch, renov., 267.231.0211 Oxford Circle 2BR $650 /mo. free w/d, 2nd flr. duplex. 215-744-8990 Verree Road/Red Lion Vic. 1BR Duplex $649+utils. 3 mo req. 215-808-8863

WARMINSTER Lg 1-2-3 BR Sect. 8 OK 1 MONTHS FREE RENT!!! HURRY!! Pets & smoking ok. We work with credit problems. Call for Details: 215-443-9500

South Phila furn room, fridge, renovated, no drugs. 215-465-3080 SW Philadelphia $350-$450 renovated rooms 215-432-3155 SW Phila. - Elmwood, nice room, use of entire house. Call 267-972-7242 SW Phila. furnished, with cable & HBO. $100/week. Call KB (347)316-4094

78xx Temple Rd. 3BR $1,100+ porch, garage, sec. 8 ok. 267-992-3233

Germantown fully furn, newly built rms use of house, laundry. 267-600-1584 Germantown, furn., good loc. clean, quiet reasonable, call 12-8p. 215-849-8994 Lycoming St. $250 to move in, $90/week. Please Call (267) 456-9403 Mt Airy, 61xx Chew Ave, Univ City, 2xx Melville, $85-$125/wk, 215-242-9124 NE $130/wk. all utils incld. Large, furn, 1st wk free. Call 267-600-2887

Ford F-150 XLT 2002 new body style, 4 dr,lux super ext. cab,mag whls, prem tires, orig mi, sacrifice $6,975. 215-629-0630

SW Phila room for rent, $100/wk, $300 move in, (215)729-4855 $35 app. fee.

18xx Roselyn St. 2 Br new renov. duplex, sec 8 ok 267.467.0140

W Phila & G-town: newly ren lg, lux rms /apts. ALL utils incl, SSI ok, 215-833-4065

homes for rent

8xx Hilton St. (near K & A) 2br/1ba $750 avail immed., renovated, new elec heat, lighting & oven, near El. (215)620-3302

31xx Hartville St. 3br/1ba $575+utils nice size house, new paint 215-327-2292 Hart Lane 2BR $585+utils fenced backyd, 3 mo mvn 215-514-0653 Washington Square West 4br/2.5ba $3300/mo. Attractive, Townhouse, cent. a/c, fireplace, sundeck, (609)790-4228

53XX LESHER ST 3BR $800+UTILS CALL 215-778-0907

26xx Parrish 3BR/2.5BA $1,900+utils Townhouse, garage, rear yard, C/A, W/D, near transportation. Call 267-939-4959

26xx Braddock St. 3br $750 2mo.sec., beautiful. Call 215-833-2547

11th & Christian 4br/2ba $2,400+ lrg, lovely w/ hdwd floors & carpet, completely modern, deck, yard, 610.304.0087

13xx E. Luzerne St 2br duplex newly reno, Sec 8 approved 267.467.0140 46xx Edmund 4BR Sec 8 ok. Newly renovated, nice big backyard. Please call 267-455-3273

14xx S. Etting 3 BR $675+utils. 28th & Reed $2025move-in 215.365.4567 2042 Opal St. very nice 3BR $750 new crpt, freshly painted. 610-348-6717 21xx Manton St 3br/1ba $825+utils newly remod., hwd flrs, new kit w/granite countertops, new bathroom (215)917.1091

13xx S 56th. St. 3br/1.5ba $825 newly renovated, Call 267-255-1895

Collingdale 3Br/1Ba $1200/mo 9xx Spruce St., finished basement, fireplace, detached 2 car garage. rent to own. Call (610)550-1212 Upper Darby 21xx Kent Rd. 3BR Sect. 8 ok, Call after 6pm 484-753-1396 Upper Darby: 7007 Radbourne 2Br/ 1.5Ba fin. bsmnt, Central AC & heat. Drexel Hill 56 Shadeland 3Br/1.5Ba apt. hdwd flrs, deck, garage prkg. 484-557-0098

8xx S. 56th St. 4br/1.5ba $850+utils $2000 to move in. Call 484-433-5764

14xx N. 53rd 6br/3Ba modern, section 8 ok. 215-868-0481 2Br, 3Br & 4Br Houses Sec. 8 welcome beautifully renovated, (267)981-2718

22xx N Cleveland St 2br $750+utils section 8 approved, newly renovated, available immediately, 215-680-2538

64x W. Tusculum St. 2br/1ba $600/mo. yard, washer, credit check (215)425-3696 Grays Ferry 2br/1ba $750 13xx S. Stanley St., yard, porch, close to everything, avail immed. (267)574-4163

Temp Hosp area 4br sngl fam Avail Now Move in Special 215-386-4791 or 4792

2xx Rockland St. 3br/1.5ba $895 w/d, section 8 ok, Call (215)275-0278

CIVIC LX Sedan 2005 $8400 5 spd manual, 84k, ex cond. 267.981.2637

Jaguar 2003 3.0 S Type with sunroof, like new, original miles $6,985 215-928-9632

CHEVY S-10 Pickup 2003 $4900 ac,auto,bedliner,ex cnd, 40k 610.279.8110 Chrysler Town & Country 1987 $2975 44k, turbocharged, (215)572-5063 Chrysler Town & Country LX 2005 $2875 stow and go, CD, alarm. 267-592-0448 Dodge Grand Caravan LE 1993 $1150 all pwr, cold a/c, runs exc 215-620-9383

Ford Mustang Convertible 2002 $4500 ex cond, all extras, loaded, 267-934-6963

Ford Taurus SES 2002 $1,750 4 door, loaded, clean, CD. 215-280-4825 Honda Accord LX Sedan 1997 $2500/bo burgundy, 106k, power, 267-970-2623 Honda Civic 1991 $1250 nw clutch, cold ac, nw insp 215-620-9383 NISSAN MAXIMA 1994 $1,250 auto, cold a/c, runs new. 215-620-9383 Olds 88 Royale 1994 $999 all pwrs, cold AC, new insp 215-620-9383 Saturn SL2 2000 $1,650 4 dr, auto, loaded, 28MPG 215-280-4825 Volvo C 70 Turbo coupe 1999 $3450 moonroof, 17 in alloys, lthr, 267.592.0448 WINNEBAGO 1977 $2,975 69k, good condition. 610-667-4829

CLK 350 Coupe 2006 $16,300 firm exc. cond., 53k mi., white (302)743-9647

Corolla LE 2005 $8400 67k mi., all power, 5 speed (215)677-0573

S60 2.5T FWD 2006 $9999 dealer serviced, 97,500 miles, clean, moonroof, Call (856)489-1165

Cadillac Eldorado 1976 $23,000 2 door convert., exc. cond., 36K mi., claret red w/ white int., hard tonneau cover, garage kept. Call 302-250-5425

Chevrolet Camaro 1967 $23,000 modified, redone 2007, viper blue, 400HP-350, 700R OD auto trans, 355 POSI, disc brakes, a/c, power steering, very good cond., Call (302)369-8487 Chevy Chevelle 1970 $8500/obo rebuilt 350 eng/350 trans, 43k miles, runs/drives exc., air, power (610)931-2193 Chevy Impala 1969 $15,000 2 door convert., very good cond., garnett red w/ white int., 85K mi, 302-250-5425

Cash paid on the spot for unwanted vehicles, 24/7 pick up, 215-288-9500 Eagleville 3br/2.5ba Townhouse $1375 fin bsmt, fenced yd, nw cpt, 610.631.0230

Buick 1990 Riviera Classic 2 door coupe Landau roof, every extra, perhaps the finest available, no exagerrating, sacrifice to good home, $3950. 215-627-1814 Buick Century Custom 2000 $1600 4 door, V6, a/c, 164k, call 215-643-3412 Buick Lesabre 1997 $2,450 Inspec., new radials, clean. 610-667-4829 CHEVY Impala 2004 $2850 LT2, loaded, AC, alloy, CD. 267-592-0448 Chevy Malibu 2002 $2,150 4 door, V6, loaded, good car 215.847.7346

Junk Cars & Trucks Wanted, $400, Call 856-365-2021

Pedricktown (exit 10) 3br/1.5ba $1250$1350. Off 295, 3 miles to Pureland Indust. Prk., new, very clean, laundry. 856-466-4002 avail August 1st.

JUNK CARS WANTED 24/7 REMOVAL. Call 267-377-3088

Academy & Grant $75 For parking car only. 215-934-7181

A1 PRICES FOR JUNK CARS FREE TOW ING , Call (215) 726-9053

47

North Philly clean, quiet bldng, proof of income, $125/wk. Call 267-702-7914 N. Phila, 18xx W. Berks St., Furn Rooms, privte entry, $75/wk. 2 weeks rent ($150) + 2 weeks sec ($150) = $300 to move in. No cooking. Call John (215)236-8518 N. Phila. close to transportation $85/wk $225 move-in. 215-416-6538

CHARGER 2006 $12,800 47k miles, excellent cond, 610-217-9766

SW Phila - Newly renov, close to trans. $100/wk 1st wk FREE, 267-628-7454

65xx Saybrook Ave. 3Br newly renovated, Sec 8 ok 267-467-0140 A1 Nice, well maintained rms, N. & W. Phila. Starting @ $125/wk 610.667.9675 Broad & Erie, share kit & bath $105 & up NO DRUGS 215.228.6078 or 215.229.0556 Broad & Olney deluxe furn room priv ent $145/wk. Sec $200. 215-572-8833 Camden,furn rm, use of kitch & ba, $125 /wk. 1 mo rent & 1 wk sec. 215-927-1370 E. Mt Airy, large room with private bath, $160/week, utils included. 215-630-7639 Frankford, nice rm in apt, near bus & El, $250 sec, $85/wk & up. 215-526-1455

Cadillac Fleetwood Brougham 1996 $7500. 61k, beautiful, (609)344-0141 ELDORADO CONVERTIBLE 1985 $24,950 Heated garage kept, 1 owner, red with white roof, fully loaded, 21,900 miles. Call 609-758-0663

low cost cars & trucks

P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R | J U N E 2 1 - J U N E 2 7 , 2 0 1 2 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T |

1547 S. 30th St. furn, fridge, $125 week; $375 move in. no kitchen. 215-781-8049 20th & Allegheny: Furn. Luxury Rooms. Free utils, cable, A/C. Call 267-331-5382 21st & Erie, large room, new renov., wall/wall, furn. $100/wk. 215-570-0301 28xx N 27th St: Furnished rooms, utils included, $100/wk, SSI ok, 267-819-5683 45xx N 17th St, brand nw luxury rms, single occupant $375mo, 267-979-4214 4th & Diamond room frig micro bed $85/wk, $225 move in. 215-416-6538 50th W. Girard Ave spacious room, $400. table ready room. 215-609-6741 52ND & LOCUST Nice neat clean comfortable sleeping rm. Reasonable 215.747.2359 53xx Girard Ave: Large clean rooms $100-$110/week. Call (215)917-1091 59th St S., near El, cozy, furn, a/c, $90/wk, $90 sec, references 215.472.8119

South Phila, 26 Oakford, $340$380/month. Please Call (267) 997-8142

41 E. Walnut Ln. 5BR $1450 W/D service, 1 full bath, 2 half baths, front and back yards. Call 215-290-3192 4x W. Rockland St. 5BR $1225+utils Section 8 approved. Call 917-863-8624 50xx Portico 4BR/1BA $950+utils newly remod, Sec 8 OK (215)698-7840 53xx Wingohocking Terrace 4br/1ba newly renovated, sec 8 ok 267.467.0140 55xx Ardleigh 3BR/1BA Modern Kitch. New Carpets. 215-514-7143

automotive

classifieds

48XX Longshore Ave 1BR/1BA $600 NEWLY RENOV. 609-792-2359 Leave message 6812 Ditman St. 1 BR prkg,lndry fac.Lic# 212751. 215-744-9077 Academy & Grant 2BR $795+ 1st flr,w/w, c/a,off st prkg 856.346.0747 Bustleton & Haldeman 2br Condo $925 prvt balcony w/garden view 215.943.0370 Cottman Ave Vic 2br $745+utils 2nd floor, w/w carpet. 267-251-5675 Grant & Ashton 2BR $800 DW, W/D, A/C, off St prkg. 215-520-6892

N Phila Sr. citizen, single occ. $100 wk utils included. Call 267-385-5932

539 W. Nedro Ave 3BR/1BA $750 Beau cond New paint, rugs, ceramic floor, bath, appliances, garage. Call Sean 484-802-0095

the naked city | feature | a&e | the agenda | food

apartment marketplace

billboard [ C i t y pa p e r ]

June 21 - June 27, 2012 Call 215-735-8444

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12 Years of experience. Offering personal fitness training, nutrition counseling, and flexibility training. Specialize in osteoporosis, injuries, special needs. In home or at 12th Street Gym. MCKFitness@yahoo.com

SEMEN DONORS NEEDED

Healthy, College Educated Men 18-39 ~ $150/Sample WWW.123DONATE.COM

STUDY GUITAR W/ THE BEST David Joel Guitar Studio All Styles All Levels. Former Berklee faculty member. Masters Degree with 27 yrs. teaching experience. 215.831.8640 www.myphillyguitarlessons.com

FULL BLOWN CHERRY

South Jersey’s Fave Rockabilly International Recording Stars! Rock The Joint! @ 8pm, $5 Twin Bar, Broadway & Market Glouchester City, NJ www.HotrodHoedown.com

FRIDAY:

MIGHTY#big w.RICH MEDINA

NEW AT THE EL BAR!!!

SATURDAY:

DJ DEEJAY

SUNDAY:

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17 Rotating Drafts Close to 200 Bottles

www.devilsdenphilly.com www.facebook.com/devilsdenphiladelphia www.twitter.com/devilsdenphilly

City Paper is very pleased to bring you our very first smartphone app! Just go to www.citypaper.net and click our martini glass icon to find out more, or type in ‘Happy Hours in the app store, android marketplace, or blackberry app world. Click the orange martini icon and get drinking. No matter where you go or when you go, you can find the nearest happy hours to you with a single click! You can even sort through bars by preference or neighborhood.

WITH ANDY CALDWELL

MEET OR BEAT ANY PRICE! (with ad or coupon) 1529 Spruce Street. Philadelphia 215-893-0415

Are You Bored? Lonely? Or Not Understood? We’re HERE!

Great American Guitar Show Oaks, PA June 23 & 24, 2012

Great American Guitar Show, Oaks Pa. June 23 & 24. Greater Philadelphia Expo Ctr. 100 Station Ave. Oaks Pa. 19456 Rt. 422 exit at Oaks. Sat. 10-6 Sun 10-4. 100s of exhibitors & 1000s of show-goers will be buying, selling, & trading musical instruments of all types. Adm. $12 Bee3vintage 828-298-2197 www.bee3vintage.com

Open every day 4pm - 2am Sat & Sun Brunch 10am - 4pm 5th & Spring Garden www.silkcityphilly.com

Your Super Massage Genie! 1 Call and POOF! We land at your front doorstep! Massage, Quality Company, Quality Time, etc, Your location, 24:7 A Good Listening Ear with Your Next Massage, By Someone Ultra-Intelligent & Highly Diversified! OUT-CALL. At Your Service! Call: 215-552-9517 www.EdenLove.FriendlyNow.com

Tattoo Artist Wanted

Experienced artist needed Boulevard Tattoo Portfolio required Call Tim: 610.368.3088

I BUY RECORDS, CD’S, DVD’S

TOP PRICES PAID. No collection too small or large! We buy everything! Call Jon at 215-805-8001 or e-mail dingo15@hotmail.com

AWARD WINNING, WORLD FAMOUS CUSTOM STUDIO ARTISTIC TATTOOING!

a referral customer for North American Power LLC

Philadelphia Eddies 621 Tattoo Haven 621 South 4th St (Middle of Tattoo Row) 215-922-7384 Open 7 Days

Fashion Fetish?

200+ steel boned corsets in stock size S-8XL Rubber-Leather-KiltsMore by 26 designers. PASSIONAL Boutique 704 S. 5th St. Noon-10PM, 7 days a week www.passionalboutique.com

Learn the Art of Rock

Guitar, Bass and Drum Lessons Rock Band Camp All Summer Long www.rawku.com - East Falls Call Daniel @ 215.844.7295

WATKIN’S DRINKERY

Happy hour everyday even weekends - from 5-7. 1/2 price on all 6 taps! Check out our upstairs game room with pool, darts, and some classic arcade games. On the corner of 10th & Watkins Streets in South Philly.

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