Philadelphia City Paper, August 2nd, 2012

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THEATER | Gayfest! goes it alone

FOOD | Waterfront contender FIRST FRIDAY FOCUS | Kensington views

30 YEARS OF INDEPENDENT JOURNALISM

August 2 - August 8, 2012 #1418 |

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cpstaff We made this

Publisher Nancy Stuski Editor in Chief Theresa Everline Senior Editor Patrick Rapa News Editor Samantha Melamed Web Editor/Movies Editor Josh Middleton Arts Editor/Copy Chief Emily Guendelsberger Food Editor/Listings Editor Caroline Russock Senior Writer Isaiah Thompson Staff Writer Daniel Denvir Assistant Copy Editor Carolyn Wyman Contributors Sam Adams, A.D. Amorosi, Rodney Anonymous, Mary Armstrong, Nancy Armstrong, Meg Augustin, Justin Bauer, Shaun Brady, Chris Brown, Peter Burwasser, Anthony Campisi, Ryan Carey, Jane Cassady, Mark Cofta, Felicia D’Ambrosio, Jesse Delaney, Adam Erace, M.J. Fine, David Anthony Fox, Michael Gold, K. Ross Hoffman, Brian Howard, Deni Kasrel, Gary M. Kramer, Drew Lazor, Gair “Dev 79” Marking, Robert McCormick, Andrew Milner, Cassie Owens, Michael Pelusi, Nathaniel Popkin, Courtney Sexton, Lee Stabert, Tom Tomorrow, Char Vandermeer, John Vettese, Bruce Walsh, Julia West, Brian Wilensky Editorial Interns Madeline Bates, Michael Blancato, Jodi Bosin, Hannah Chatterjee, Frida Garza, Anna Merriman, Brittany Thomas, Nina Willbach, Andrew Wimer Associate Web Editor/Staff Photographer Neal Santos Production Director Michael Polimeno Editorial Art Director Reseca Peskin Senior Designer Evan M. Lopez Editorial Designers Brenna Adams, Matt Egger Contributing Photographers Jessica Kourkounis, Mark Stehle Contributing Illustrators Ryan Casey, Don Haring Jr., Joel Kimmel, Cameron K. Lewis, Thomas Pitilli, Matthew Smith Human Resources Ron Scully (ext. 210) Office Manager/Sales Coordinator/Financial Coordinator Tricia Bradley (ext. 232) Circulation Director Mark Burkert (ext. 239) Senior Account Managers Nick Cavanaugh (ext. 260), Sharon MacWilliams (ext. 262), Stephan Sitzai (ext. 258) Account Managers Sara Carano (ext. 228), Brooke Lutz (ext. 237), Chris Scartelli (ext. 215), Donald Snyder (ext. 213) Marketing/Online Coordinator Jennifer Francano (ext. 252) Office Coordinator/Adult Advertising Sales Alexis Pierce (ext. 234) Sales Intern Chelsee Lebowitz Founder & Editor Emeritus Bruce Schimmel

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citypaper.net 123 Chestnut Street, Third Floor, Phila., PA 19106. 215-735-8444, Tip Line 215-7358444 ext. 241, Letters to the Editor editorial@citypaper.net, Listings Fax 215-8751800, Classified Ads 215-248-CITY, Advertising Fax 215-735-8535, Subscriptions 215-735-8444 ext. 235 Philadelphia City Paper is published and distributed every Thursday in Philadelphia, Montgomery, Chester, Bucks & Delaware Counties, in South Jersey and in Northern Delaware. Philadelphia City Paper is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. Additional copies may be purchased from our main office at $1 per copy. No person may, without prior written permission from Philadelphia City Paper, take more than one copy of each issue. Pennsylvania law prohibits any person from inserting printed material of any kind into any newspaper without the consent of the owner or publisher. Contents copyright © 2012, Philadelphia City Paper. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced without written permission from the publisher. Philadelphia City Paper assumes no obligation (other than cancellation of charges for actual space occupied) for accidental errors in advertising, but will be glad to furnish a signed letter to the buying public.

contents Rainbow Bright would be proud.

Naked City ...................................................................................6 Arts & Entertainment.........................................................26 Movies.........................................................................................32 The Agenda ..............................................................................35 Food & Drink ...........................................................................43 COVER PHOTOGRAPH BY NEAL SANTOS DESIGN BY RESECA PESKIN

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CP’s Quality-o-Life-o-Meter

[ + 1 ] The PPA will refund about $800,000 in red-

light-camera fines because the required warning signs were not posted at an Eastwick intersection. Otherwise, how would we know we were supposed to stop?

[ + 1 ] A Florida nightclub owner allegedly involved

in the scam that left John Bolaris drugged and robbed of $43,000 is arrested.“I believe he will be in jail for a very, very long time,” says Bolaris, whose prediction success rate is about 50/50.

[ + 3 ] A Russian-born billionaire and Wharton dropout gives $3 million each to nine physicists. Who promptly drop out of physics.

[ -4 ]

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[ -3 ]

Recent water main breaks in the Northeast and South Philly have the Water Department scrambling to clean up.“What we need now is, like, a giant soap spill.” A portable meth lab at a downtown hotel is discovered when fumes set off a smoke detector. See, Pinkman — this is why you need Mr. White.

[0]

A DelCo election official says he won’t enforce ID requirements. “I’m not very good at my job,” explains election official.

[ -2 ]

Seagulls perching on the recently opened Ninth Street bridge in Ocean City are being swept into traffic by the wind and killed. “Gimme French fry,” says spokesseagull. “Gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme.”

[ + 1 ] The American Public Transportation Ass-

ociation names SEPTA the best large transit system in North America. “We’re not very good at our jobs,” explains APTA.

[ -2 ]

Neighbors say they feel intimidated by the union protestors gathered at a construction site in Spring Garden. “A thousand pardons. That was not our intention,” say protesters. “Know what? I believe it’s time we got out our comically oversized inflatable mouse. That’ll lighten the mood around here.”

[ -1 ]

A 12-year-old boy is injured while riding the Kingda Ka roller coaster at Six Flags when his face strikes a bird. APTA names Kingda Ka the second-best transit system in North America.

This week’s total: -6 | Last week’s total: -2

QUIET NEIGHBORHOOD: Residents at 12th and Courtland streets in Logan say if they knew who shot a 2-year-old girl, they’d tell. NEAL SANTOS

[ crime ]

A SHOT IN THE DARK After a tragic shooting, city officials are quick to blame a neighborhood’s “stop snitching” culture — maybe too quick. By Isaiah Thompson

T

ell a story enough times, and it has a way of becoming true — especially when that “truth” is a convenient one. On June 16, a raucous outdoor party at 12th and Courtland streets in the city’s Logan section ended abruptly when, at about 9 p.m., gunfire erupted and pandemonium ensued. The 100 to 200 partygoers scattered in different directions. Double-parked cars blocked police cars and ambulances from approaching. When the smoke cleared, four people had been wounded by gunfire: three men and a 2-year-old girl, who was hospitalized in critical condition. Four days later, police announced a $10,000 reward for information leading to an arrest. Weeks went by; still, nothing. Then another story emerged, in which the 2-year-old was a victim not just of an unknown shooter, but of Philly’s notorious “stop snitching” culture, which had caused neighbors with knowledge to clam up. On hand to tell this story were some of the city’s top officials. In a lengthy article in the Daily News (it ran in different mediums under two headlines: “Little Girl Was Shot: Why Will No One Talk?” and “200 Witnesses Saw Philadelphia Toddler Shot, but None Will Talk”), Philadelphia managing director Rich Negrin and public safety director Michael Resnick railed against area residents for

failing to “come forward.” Resnik described a “total apathy” on the part of neighbors, “plus, maybe, an acceptance that this is the way it is.” He was sure, he added, that “word’s out on the street” as to who committed the crime. Negrin was even more blunt. The lack of information was “inexcusable on the part of that community,” he told the Daily News. “Everybody there knows who the shooters were.” It was a sound bite that could easily have come from the playbook of Mayor Michael Nutter, who has routinely pointed a finger back at the Philadelphia communities where violence has occured. Following several violent “flash mobs,” Nutter berated parents and told their kids to “pull up your pants,” saying they had “damaged your own race.” Nutter called the alleged perpetrator of a July 4, 2012, shooting an “asshole.” Last week, Daily News columnist Stu Bykofsky weighed in. “If they don’t care about their community, why should we?” he began, leaving the they/we distinction to the imagination. He concluded, “I can understand why people who live in civilized communities might want to wash their hands of those who have thrown in with the thugs.” An entire neighborhood unwilling to come forward even to find justice for the shooting of a little girl — it’s a harsh, provocative story, a real teaching moment. Except there’s almost no evidence it’s true. Some elements of the story disintegrate under even the mildest

It’s provocative; there’s no evidence it’s true.

>>> continued on page 8

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[ a million stories ]

normal lifespan of a mattress” and of soiled canvas laundry carts “in deplorable condition.” He said insects and rodents are a frequent

✚ CELLING POINTS A stint in jail isn’t meant to be a vacation — most of us can agree on that. And that’s fortunate, because Philly’s largest jail, CurranFromhold Correctional Facility (CFCF), is no country club. But the question that was being asked of jurors in Judge Norma Shapiro’s orderly 10th-floor courtroom in the U.S. District Court of the Eastern District of Pennsylvania this week: Are the conditions at CFCF unconstitutional? The case was Marcellous Minnick v. the City of Philadelphia, the first of a whopping 500something civil actions brought by inmates who say the overcrowding and understaffing at CFCF, where some inmates sleep three to a cell, negatively impacted their health or violated their civil rights. The city has faced similar litigation before, but court-appointed lawyer Gerald Williams of the firm Williams Cuker Berezofsky says it’s probably the largest number of such lawsuits to be consolidated for trial in succession. Minnick spent almost a year as a pretrial detainee; he’s still in jail awaiting sentencing. Before his arrest, he had been scheduled for a hip replacement due to a degenerative joint disorder. He wasn’t able to get the surgery, and developed a hernia and “severe dermatitis” (i.e. a rash) all while awaiting trial and sleeping in overcapacity cells. In his complaint, he says he was often confined to a “blue boat” — a plastic cot on the floor — 16 hours a day, since there was nowhere else to go during frequent lockdowns. Jurors got a window into life in the jails via video depositions from experts who toured the jails and examined their records. Leonard Rice, a sanitation expert, showed photos of mattresses with no covers — just exposed, dirty foam — that were “way beyond the

complaint, and observed “cumulative problems related to space, sanitary conditions and lack of cleanliness that’s chronic” and that “could be tied directly or indirectly to overpopulation.” And Madeleine LaMarre, an expert on prison health care, reported that inmates, confined to cells 10 to 12 hours a day, have no emergency recourse except for call buttons that are frequently ignored or disabled by guards. She said requests for medical care were often ignored or answered only after long delays, resulting in predictable “pain and suffering, and possible deterioration of their condition.” As for Minnick, who finally received surgery in 2011 — and received only Tylenol in the meantime — “he suffered unnecessarily.” Jurors disagreed: They did find that the conditions Minnick faced amounted to unconstitutional punishment. But they said the overcrowding was related to a legitimate government purpose and that he sustained no injury, and so could receive no damages. Amanda Shoffel, an assistant city solicitor, told the jury that Philly doesn’t think its prisons are “operating in a state of constant perfection.” But it’s trying to be “progressive and creative,” and is over time replacing and retrofitting showers and mattresses to meet modern sanitation standards. Whether such efforts will be enough to win over several hundred more juries remains to be seen. —Samantha Melamed

✚ DEPARTMENT OF CORRECTIONS Speaking of packing inmates in three to a cell, we wrote in City Paper not long ago [News, “Packed House,” July 18, 2012] that prisoners’-rights advocates are concerned that the practice, known in >>> continued on page 11

photostream ³ submit to photostream@citypaper.net

By Daniel Denvir

DEFY THIS LAW? ³ “TO ASK ME to enforce something that vio-

lates civil rights is ludicrous and absolutely something I am not willing to do,” Colwyn’s Democratic inspector of elections, Christopher L. Broach, told the Inquirer last week. Broach was explaining his decision not to enforce the state’s controversial new law requiring voters to present one of a few forms of identification at the polls starting this November. The law could disenfranchise many voters in Colwyn, a small, 80-percent-black borough in Delaware County. (Statewide, 20 percent of voters may not have valid PennDOT-issued ID, according to data obtained by CP. In Philly, 43 percent of voters may not possess valid PennDOT ID.) It would be a simple but vexing act of civil disobedience: When voters go to the polls this November, the neighborhood people who staff polling places throughout Pennsylvania could just plain not ask voters for the identification the law requires. The legal consequences of defying the law could, however, be tough. Though the voter-ID law does not set out any new and specific penalties, violators could be charged under catchall provisions in the state elections code, leading to fines and up to a seven-year prison term, according to the Secretary of State’s Office. District Attorney Seth Williams’ office says the DA will “look at alleged violations in the same manner as any other election-day complaints we receive.” A spokesman for Attorney General Linda L. Kelly, who could also prosecute lawbreakers, would “not speculate about hypothetical situations.” Currently, prosecutions for elections crimes are exceedingly rare. Regardless, this is bigger than 2012. Voter-ID laws are a patent attempt by a mostly white, aging Republican Party to safeguard a version of America that’s passing into history. In May, the Census Bureau announced that non-Hispanic whites were, for the first time, a minority of births. Non-whites will be a majority of the population by 2042. Though anti-immigrant scapegoating may energize the base, it dooms Republicans to the margins. People of all races face the same critical social and economic issues. Indeed, a new poll from Public Policy Polling finds that just 32 percent of Pennsylvanians approve of Republican Gov. Tom Corbett, who has eviscerated education funding, cut programs that support the poor and women and opened up the state to polluting drillers. It’s unclear if election-worker resistance will take off or succeed. But you can resist by making sure you have proper ID and voting. ✚ Send feedback to daniel.denvir@citypaper.net.

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KAREN CHISTINE HUBBARD/FLICKR: KARENCHRISTINE552

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✚ A Shot in the Dark

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scrutiny. There’s the assumption, for example, embodied in the headline, “200 Witnesses Saw Philadelphia Toddler Shot, but None Will Talk,” that many partygoers did, in fact, “witness” the shooting. But (as the Daily News itself reported) the gunfire erupted after dark, was first mistaken for fireworks and sent people running for cover. “You [couldn’t] even tell where it’s coming from,” a neighbor told the newspaper. Then there’s the hazier notion that the residents of the block know who’s responsible — that “everybody there knows who the shooters were,” as Negrin put it — but that they’re holding back. But that narrative suggests that neighbors knew about the party and/or knew the (200) people attending it — an assumption neighbors told City Paper is dead wrong. CP interviewed seven residents of the block in three separate interviews in one afternoon (five of the seven interviewees gave permission for their full names to be used). All asserted that the party had been thrown by one resident, that the revelers were mostly from somewhere else and unknown to the neighborhood, and that actual residents had mostly been inside when the incident happened. “It was a young lady … who was on the Internet and said, ‘Come here for a Father’s Day celebration’ — and all those people showed up,” says Toni Walker Ross, who lives down the street from where the shooting occurred. “We don’t know who they were, we didn’t know the little girl — most of us were in our [own] house[s].” Indeed, Philadelphia police officials confirm this version of events. “It’s true, it was on the Internet,” says Northwest Detectives Captain Winton Singletary. “A lot of the neighbors did stay inside their house. It wasn’t like a lot were outside.” Residents with whom CP spoke were mystified — and outraged — at the assertions that they were “clamming up” or being silenced by a “stop-snitching culture.” “I would have called. I could use $10,000 — I’ve got kids all over the place!” said Anthony Overstreet, whose wife Edith is the block captain of the 4600 block of North 12th Street. “Shootings do happen, and you hear things — but this one, you didn’t hear nothing.” Negrin’s and Resnick’s comments, he said, amounted to “stereotyping.” In response to several emails regarding the residents’ accounts of the situation, Negrin called the story “unworthy of substantive response.” Resnick acknowledged that “many people may not have seen anything,” but that “the resounding silence of the community” — which “community” he meant wasn’t totally clear — “is sad.” Later, CP also received a call from Deputy Police Commissioner Thomas Wright. “Although it was dark, I believe someone on that block saw,” he said. “At least one person knows who was involved.” Everybody, one person — what’s the diff? Of course, there’s a big difference.

One narrative paints the community as participating in a kind of mass conspiracy of silence; in the second scenario, the city and police are blaming an entire neighborhood for knowing as little about the crime as they apparently do. “Stop snitching” may be a real problem for police, but it’s also a potential way to redirect responsibility. In this case, say some Logan residents, it’s unfair. “I was raised with the value that you do come forward. That’s a big deal to me and my parents,” says Andre Mason, 21, who grew up in front of the scene of the shooting and who was recently accepted to Widener Law. Mason takes the allegation of failing to step up personally. His brother, he says, was killed in a violent incident. And it was

“Nobody knows who did what.” his family that attempted to care for the bleeding 2-year-old inside their house before an ambulance arrived. Mason’s father (who declined to give his name) continues to be troubled by the recent news articles. “Nobody knows who did what,” he says, visibly upset. “And they won’t let it die, saying this is ‘Don’t snitch.’” The younger Mason says city officials and a certain Daily News columnist ought to have spent more time talking to him and his neighbors before airing accusations of withholding information. He guffaws upon learning that Bykofsky had relied on NAACP president Jerry Mondesire for community perspective. “See, that’s the punch line: You weren’t out here,” Mason says. “You weren’t walking the beat.” “I don’t want to get too political,” the lawyer-to-be reflected. “People in power have no idea what’s going on. They see demographics and they say, ‘Oh, that’s what’s wrong.’” (isaiah.thompson@citypaper.net)

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TWO FORMS OF ID A Republican ward leader responded our story about Republican City Commissioner Al Schmidt’s report alleging voting “irregularitiesâ€? [“Phantom Menace,â€? Isaiah Thompson, July 26, 2012]. Lindsay Doering emailed: “You seem to think voter ID is an attempt to repress Democrat turnout. ... I can tell you there are active Republican committee people who think it will hurt Republicans because they tend to be older. ‌ If you are a total Democrat partisan, you should be in politics, not reporting for a paper. Sixty years of mindless partisan politics got Philly where it is today. Why would you take up newsprint with more mindless partisan politics? Which is why I have not read City Paper in many years and why I could not finish your article.â€? In addition, activist Adam Lang emailed to point out that an aspect of Schmidt’s report was old information: “The over-vote problem was brought up before Al Schmidt was elected and before voter ID was up for discussion. I had personally looked into this in 2008 where I analyzed the 2007 and 2008 primaries andnoted extensive discrepancies in over-votes.I presented the information to the Board of Elections and the Daily News. They blew it off saying they didn’t see any problems. [What’s now] taking place is that new Commissioners got elected who took the claims seriously when the data was presented again for additional elections.â€? LESSON PLANS Our cover story about William Penn Foundation chief executive Jeremy Nowak and his influence on the future of Philly public

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schools [“Money Talks,� Daniel Denvir, July 5, 2012] received numerous responses. Online commenter FriendofPubEd wrote: “Thank you very much for writing this story. It is important for the public to know who is really driving the school ‘reform’ efforts and what their agenda is, and how their unwillingness to continue to fund advocacy groups seems like a not-so-subtle effort to silence anyone who might ask critical questions.� Commenter kornbread, however, had a different take:“Let me get this straight — Nowak, distressed over the [school district] turning out two generations of barely literate ‘graduates,’ decides to embark on something big and different to turn it around, and the author thinks we should be upset or suspicious about that? I don’t think so. We should be cynical and suspicious about all those entrenched forces who have condemned us to graduation rates under 50 percent.� ✚ We welcome and encourage your feedback.

Mail letters to Feedback, City Paper, 123 Chestnut St., 3rd Floor, Phila., PA 19106. E-mail editorial@citypaper.net or comment online at citypaper.net. Submissions may be edited for clarity and space.

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<<< continued from page 7

the triple-cell number has been “running between 1,100 and 1,300 for the past year.”

riage drivers. “They don’t have a legitimate reason to protest,” says Ron Jones, a 15-year veteran of the business. Jones takes particular offense to the claims of animal abuse. “Everything we do is about [the animal],” he says, feeding his horse Caesar half of his cheese Danish.“Abuse

happens with private owners,” he adds; these horses have their own vets, a constant supply of water and two meals a day. Gittelman, though, insists that the truth is in plain sight. “If you go out during the week, look clearly and you see how miserable [the horses] are,” says Gittelman. This misery, Gittelman elaborates, is evident in the fact that the horses breathe in emission fumes, pull people around on hot asphalt and have no peripheral vision, due to their blinders.

“You can see they’ve given up.” This is the message that Gittelman and other supporters of PAN try to relay to passersby at their protests. They hand out signs, fliers and photos of carriage horses contrasted with photos of wild horses in hopes of hammering home the aforementioned misery.

✚ NEIGHSAYERS The use of four-legged horsepower to pull tourist carriages around Old City streets has long been a subject of debate: Is it cruelty, or merely a way of life for working animals? The horses cannot, of course, speak for themselves. But members of the two-year-old Peace Advocacy Network (PAN), a local group of animal-rights activists, say the horses’ discomfort is evident. “Look into their eyes for a few minutes and see how they’ve given up,” insists Brandon Gittelman, the legislative director of PAN. On a recent Sunday, PAN held a protest against the ubiquitous, slow-moving carriages, a cause that’s been getting more publicity in recent weeks following a horse-drawn carriage crash on July 13 that left one woman severely injured. A PAN petition garnered more than 1,000 signatures in just a few days.

The goal of all this: legislative action spearheaded by Councilman Mark Squilla, whose 1st District includes Old City. Anne Kelly, Squilla’s chief of staff, says the councilman has heard PAN’s arguments, but has no legislation planned. Carriage drivers aren’t worried about a ban. “It’ll never happen,” Jones says. “They’re wasting their time.” After a moment of thought, he adds that the protesters really “need to get a job.”

Gittelman, however, has his own thoughts on employment in the carriage-driving industry: “There are so many other ways … to make a living.” —Anna Merriman

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Now, he’s particularly worried about how a rash of recent suicides may relate to conditions within the city jails: “We’ve asked for information concerned with suicides. We are concerned that they may be related to overcrowding and other poor conditions. But it’s too early to tell.” —S.M.

PAN protests also usually elicit plenty of curses from car-

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prison jargon as triple-celling, is on the rise again. We’ve since learned that triple-celling at CFCF — which is in the midst of a two-year monitoring period following a class-action lawsuit over crowding and conditions there — is far more extensive than the prisons would lead us to believe. When we first asked Philly Prison System public-information officer Shawn Hawes for triple-cell numbers, she responded that there were “no inmates currently triple-celled at CFCF.” Later, she called back, hiking that number to around 100 inmates. Then she called one more time to say she didn’t know the number, but that it could be anywhere from “two to 60 cells,” — six to 180 inmates on a given day. After we printed that quote, though, advocates told us it was way off — as in, 1,000 inmates off. Back to Hawes, who told us she not only can’t give us the current triple-cell number, but she now won’t give it to us, due to the ongoing litigation. However, it turns out there is (and there was all along) a monthly list of inmates being triplecelled. And the list of inmates in triple-cell situations for July, obtained by CP, reveals the real number: 1,197 inmates are now living three to a cell. Some 360 of them have been triple-celled for 30 days or more; 19 have been triple-celled for 50 days or more. Remember, for every triplecell, someone is forced to sleep every night on the floor in a “blue boat,” wedged, all too often, within splashing distance of the toilet. David Rudovsky, a lawyer who has been active in overcrowding issues and was a plaintiffs’ attorney in the class action Williams v. City of Philadelphia, says the numbers are not surprising. He says

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Germantown Avenue is one of the oldest streets in Philly, with roots dating back to the late 1600s. Traveling the full length of the Avenue today is practically a primer in the city’s various economic castes: starting in recently gentrified Northern Liberties, the Avenue runs north and west through the amorphous area still known as the Badlands, then goes through

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ou may know of the circular Praça Cantão, the plaza that serves as an entrance to the Favela Santa Marta. Rio de Janeiro is peppered with upwards of 1,000 favelas — Brazilian slums — clinging to the hills that run along the city. The Favela Santa Marta, nestled in the southern zone, is set on one of the steepest of these hills: The terrain is practically mountainous, and from far away it looks as if its buildings and shacks have been haphazardly stacked on top of each other. Even many people not familiar with Brazil may have heard of Favela Santa Marta because of the large-scale art projects of Dutch muralists Jeroen Koolhaas and Dre Urhahn (aka Haas&Hahn). In 2006, after filming a documentary on favela hip-hop there, they moved to Rio, hired local youths as a paint crew, set up scaffolds and began painting massive murals. In 2010, Haas&Hahn finished their largest project in Favela Santa Marta. The results look as if a giant with a school-bus-sized paintbrush and a fondness for rainbows went to town on an entire block — brighthued diagonal rays stretch across 34 multistory houses and 75,000 square feet. Images of the Praça Cantão plaza went viral, appearing in the New York Times, Vogue Brazil and on countless design Tumblrs. Subsequently, Philly’s Mural Arts Program got in touch to see whether the pair were interested in seeing how their multi-building, bright-colored project translated to urban, post-industrial America, and in 2011 Haas&Hahn moved to North Philly, to begin an even larger project they called Philly Painting. Their plan: to completely paint three unbroken blocks of buildings along an odd, north-south kink in the usually diagonal Germantown Avenue. As of now, many façades have already been painted in a patchwork of rectangles. The shapes are simple, to fit onto a variety of structures, and easy to execute for a somewhat green paint crew partially drawn from the neighborhood; in addition, the colors of each building have been chosen by its owner. The hope is that they’ll eventually merge to form a continuous whole covering all of Germantown Avenue through the cross-streets of Alder, Huntingdon, Lehigh, Silver, Somerset and Cambria, down several side streets and perhaps even spilling over onto the pavement, crosswalks and light posts. You can anticipate the finished product looking like a bright tapestry under a magnifying glass. But the project is far from complete. And there are many reasons why.

Co-Sponsored by:

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‹ALLIANCE FRANCAISE

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oin the Philadelphia chapter of Alliance Francaise for French-flavored activities such as conferences, luncheons, happy hours and wine lectures. Celebrating 100 years of excellence, Alliance Francaise also offers 15 levels of French classes, including Business French, French for Travelers, Literature & Cinema, French for Children and advanced classes. Fall sessions start in September at two campuses, Center City and Bryn Mawr College. Alliance Francaise, 1420 Walnut St., Suite 700, 215-735-5283, afphila.com. ‹ANGLER MOVEMENT ARTS CENTER

‹BARNES FOUNDATION: ART AND HORTICULTURE CLASSES

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ll Barnes Foundation courses focus on guided observation as a key to unlock the magic of works in the collection. The goals are to cultivate students’ perception and enjoyment of works of art, and for students to employ their heightened sensitivities in the greater world. Students may enroll for a single course or commit to a three-year certificate program in their chosen area of study. The Barnes Foundation’s art appreciation courses derive from its original curriculum for the study of art and aesthetics. Instructors for these courses, many of whom are practicing artists, employ a combination of looking and discussion in the Foundation’s galleries and classrooms. Participants will gain a greater appreciation for the works of art and the creative process. The Horticultural Education program of the Barnes Foundation offers a comprehensive course of study in the botanical sciences, horticulture practices, garden aesthetics and design. Classes meet weekly over each 28-week academic year. Students practice and learn in the Barnes Arboretum and state-of-the-art greenhouse in Merion, as well as at

‹CHEYNEY UNIVERSITY

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ounded in 1837, Cheyney University is America’s oldest historically black institution of higher education. Today, it leverages that rich history of providing access to higher education for all students by producing visionary leaders and responsible citizens. Cheyney University is in the business of developing human potential and talent and does so through an intellectually challenging environment and personal attention to every student - a hallmark of the Cheyney experience. The University’s 275-acre campus of rolling hillsides in southeastern Pennsylvania is located only 25 miles from Philadelphia. The heart of the campus is its historic quadrangle with buildings dating back to the early 1900s. The campus is complemented by five residence halls, including a new 400-bed suite-style residence hall. Students choose from more than 30 undergraduate and graduate degree programs, and participate in more than 40 clubs, societies and student organizations. The University is an NCAA Division II institution with 12 intercollegiate sports teams. Cheyney University also has a location in downtown Philadelphia (CUCC). CUCC is convenient for commuter students and non-traditional students looking to complete their degrees. Students can enroll in the Liberal Studies degree program in order to convert life experience and college credits into this flexible, degree completion program. Call Cheyney University today at 800-CHEYNEY, visit cheyney.edu or “Like Us” on Facebook at facebook.com/CheyneyUAdmissions. ‹FRENCH INTERNATIONAL SCHOOL: EDUCATION WITH A WORLD VIEW

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rench International School of Philadelphia, located in Bala Cynwyd, offers a strong academic curriculum in French and English for preschoolers through eighth-graders. Now in its 21st year, the school attracts equal numbers of French, ° CONTINUED ON PAGE 20

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ocated just off Frankford Avenue, Angler Movement Arts Center is in the heart of the vibrant Fishtown community. Leave the bustle of the city and enter our peaceful retreat dedicated to offering a wide variety of movement classes. With a curriculum that offers something for everyone young to old, novice to experienced, Angler is a place that will move and inspire you. From dance to Tai Chi, Pilates to Yoga and fitness, our knowledgeable teachers will give you the support and instruction you need to make you shine. More information at anglermovementarts.com.

other venues in Greater Philadelphia. The curriculum includes classroom lectures, garden visits, self-directed learning, and hands-on experiences designed to turn students into well-informed practitioners. The fall semester starts on September 4, 2012. For more information and to sign up for classes, please call 215-278-7300 or visit barnesfoundation.org/education.

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American and international families; more than 300 students, representing 50 nationalities, are enrolled. Graduates attend top public and private high schools in the Philadelphia area and their equivalents worldwide. To attend the August 24 information session, please call 610-667-1284. For more information, visit efiponline.com. ‹GIRARD COLLEGE: BLAZE A TRAIL

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Join the Alliance Francaise for French Flavored activities such as conferences, luncheons & happy hours and wine lectures. We also offer 15 levels of French Classes, including Business French, French for Travelers, Literature & Cinema Classes, French for Children and advanced classes.

FALL SESSION of

FRENCH CLASSES In CENTER CITY SEPTEMBER 10-NOVEMBER 17 Class Registration September 6 & 7; 12-2PM & 4-6PM September 8; 12-3PM

At BRYN MAWR College SEPTEMBER 24-DECEMBER 15 Class Registration September 20 5:30-7PM

Celebrating over 100 years of Excellence

stablished in 1848, Girard College has changed the lives of more than 20,000 economically disadvantaged children, tuition-free. Today, Girard College continues to educate children in grades 1 through 12, providing a college prep curriculum, a safe residential environment and an unmatched opportunity to create better futures. Striving to become the premier example of excellence in urban education, Girard makes regular advances in programming to prepare its students for advanced education and life. A few recent examples are: • Step Up To STEM, emphasizing science, technology, engineering and math • Young Alumni Support Program, assisting seniors as they apply to college and grads after enrolling • Fit Campus, encouraging healthier living habits Because all of our students receive full scholarships, Girard depends on the support of donors. On October 27, at 9 a.m., we will hold the third annual 5K Trailblazer, a walk/run fundraiser on our beautiful 43-acre campus in North Philadelphia. Girard changes lives. Join us as a participant or sponsor. Learn more at girardcollege.edu. ‹GWENDOLYN BYE DANCE CENTER

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ith locations in Philadelphia and on the Main Line, Gwendolyn Bye Dance Center has, for the past 25 years, offered year-round programs for adults and children in all disciplines of dance. Children can learn the joy of movement and its physical and artistic aspects, including dance vocabulary. Our program also offers a strong technical foundation in an enriching and energetic environment. The school offers performing opportunities, as well: Upper-level students may audition for our teenage junior company, fusion2, which performs seasonally. The adult division offers dance classes from beginners to professionals. Register now for dance programs for ages 3 to adult: Full-year activities, including Ballet, Modern, Jazz, Tap, Theater and Singing, starting September 8. For more information, visit gbyedance.org. ‹KAPLAN CAREER INSTITUTE: MAKING ADVISEMENT A PRIORITY

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inding the right career path can help you find balance in your lifestyle. That’s why Kaplan Career Institute offers advisement services to help you with personal, financial and educational solutions as you achieve your career goals from your admissions representative, who can help you explore the various career options for each Kaplan program, to the career services department, which can help with many stages of career planning! For more information on our programs, visit go.kciharrisburg.com. High school ° CONTINUED ON PAGE 22

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Wed., Sept. 19, 2012 | 5:30 - 7:00 pm | Presentations at 5:45 + 6:30 pm Secure a new position, transition into a new industry, or keep design skills DVSSFOU 5BLF UIF kSTU TUFQ CZ MFBSOJOH BCPVU 6"SUT $POUJOVJOH &EVDBUJPO DPVSTFT BOE OFX &TTFOUJBMT BOE 1SPGFTTJPOBM DFSUJkDBUF QSPHSBNT Attendees are eligible for a 10% tuition discount GPS POF OFX GBMM $& DPVSTF. /FX TUVEFOUT POMZ /P SFUSPBDUJWF SFGVOET XJMM CF HJWFO

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he Percussive Arts Center’s Gary Jackere, of the Professional Drum Teachers Guild, teaches students of all ages and experience levels to read and write drum notation, as well as play rudiments and learn chop-building exercises to develop speed and endurance employing proven techniques featured as Moeller method, Morello, Chapin and Igoe. Programs include the study of rock, jazz and blues, Latin rhythms, 4-way coordination, single and double bass techniques and much more. The Percussive Arts Center is located in Cherry Hill, N.J., just minutes from Philadelphia. Visit us at percussiveartscenter.com. ‚PHILADELPHIA FOLK FESTIVAL AND PHILADELPHIA FOLKSONG SOCIETY

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hiladelphia Folksong Society (PFS) is a not-for-profit educational organization that provides programs dedicated to preserving the past, promoting the present, and securing the future of folk music and related forms of expression through education, presentation and participation. While we are best known for the Philadelphia Folk Festival, which this year celebrates its 50th anniversary, some of our lesser known programs are the most significant to the people they serve. Since 1974, our Odyssey Program has been sending professional folk musicians to Delaware Valley public, private and parochial schools to enhance the teaching of our culture and history through music. Artists work with teachers to present programs that deepen and complement classroom studies. Musicians present age-appropriate songs written during various periods of American history. The Odyssey Program integrates sight and sound, helping students enhance their appreciation of music while learning about American historic and cultural events. Students learn to understand how songwriters and traditional singers incorporated the stories of real people and events into songs that have been passed on through the generations. With a solid commitment to preserving artistic expression through programs that encourage participation in traditional folk music and educate the public of its history, PFS is among the vanguard of emerging trendsetters and innovators within folk music. For more information on the Odyssey Program, visit pfs.org. ° CONTINUED ON PAGE 23

‹STAR CAREER ACADEMY

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‹UNIVERSITY OF THE ARTS: NEW ESSENTIALS AND PROFESSIONAL CERTIFICATE PROGRAMS

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tar Career Academy is proud to offer a variety of programs, including allied health, cosmetology, professional cooking, baking and pastry arts, and hotel and restaurant management. Our mission is to • Provide performance-based occupational training to prepare students for entrylevel employment in allied health fields, cosmetology, professional cooking, baking and pastry arts, and hotel and restaurant management; • Give students the confidence to perform at their highest potential and pursue life-long learning and advancement; and • Help students understand and meet professional ethical standards. Learn more at starcareeracademy.com.

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he New Essentials certificate programs at the University of the Arts give students the flexibility to concentrate on obtaining a solid foundation in Web Design and/ or Communication Design before deciding to proceed to the more specialized Professional certificate programs. UArts Continuing Education offers the following certificate programs: Communication Design Essentials, Web Design Essentials, Communication + Web Design, Web Design Professional, Web Design + Development Professional, Digital Photography, Portfolio Development, and the Teaching Artist Certificate. A Fall Information Session, to be held Wednesday, September 19, 5:30-7 p.m., will include presentations at 5:45 and 6:30 p.m.; attendees can meet faculty and learn about courses and certificates. New students attending are eligible for a 10 percent tuition discount on one fall 2012 course (no retroactive refunds will be given). RSVP to ce@uarts.edu or 215-717-6095. For more information, visit cs.uarts.edu.

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icepack By A.D. Amorosi

³ THE FILM INDUSTRY piles into Philadelphia on a regular basis (when they’re not shooting, they’re eating: 1982’s Wayne Brady and Paranoia’s Richard Dreyfuss both dropped by R2L last week), but it should be no surprise that competition’s always at our heels. So last week, when New York tripled its post-production tax credits to as much as 35 percent, ears in the City of Brotherly Love pricked up, especially when you consider that Philly so often doubles for NYC and Brooklyn, as in the aforementionedParanoia.“This is a very smart move on New York’s part,” says Greater Philadelphia Film Off doyenne Sharon Pinkenson in regard to Gov. Cuomo’s big bargain deal. “We need to stay in the game with post-production credits by creating one that stands alone. Most of all, we need more money in our film tax-credit program because we’re losing jobs and a bonanza of economic impact by offering far less stimulus than could be consumed. Productions are lining up to come here, but they will go elsewhere without a contract for tax credits.” Call Pennsylvania’s least-liked Gov. Tom Corbett and tell him to get cracking on competitive tax-credit rates now, before the impeachment proceedings commence. ³ Old City stylee: Mad River at Second and Chestnut went bye-bye last week. Its across-the-street neighbor, the recently opened Reserve Steakhouse, is on the market too. Now I’m hearing that Red Sky, the towering Second and Market glass-enclosed lounge, has just been leased with new owners ready to go with their own concept. If the idea is red or sky-like, don’t do it. ³ Then there’s the Triangle Tavern on South 10th Street, an Italian Market landmark and the one-time wildest saloon in South Philly. Rumor had it that Steve Simons and Dave Frank of Royal Tavern and Cantina Los Caballitos fame were going to take up the space, but Simons now says the deal fell through. Which is a shame. That would’ve made for a fun corner. The Triangle has a stage where South Philly luminaries like Rusty Gallo laid their hats, so who knows what could’ve been. ³ DJ/pitchman/Snoop Dogg pal/Major Lazer major Diplo may have relocated hisself to Los Angeles but he’s bringing his label crew back home to Philly this weekend for the Mad Decent Block Party. Sadly it ain’t MD’s original home (the former mausoleum factory that now houses PhilaMOCA) but rather Penn’s Landing where they’ll hang their collective hats (maddecent.com). ³ Now that chef Chris Scarduzio is taking over the Artisan Boulanger Patissier on East Passyunk for a fish joint, Andre Chin — the Artisan himself — is taking over a new bakery/café spot at 12th and Mifflin. Sweet. ³ Every Thursday, Icepack gets illustrated at citypaper. net/criticalmass. (a_amorosi@citypaper.net)

JOHN DONGES

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a&e SHIRTS AND SKINS: Among the solo artists performing in this year’s GayFest! are (from left) R. Eric Thomas of Always the Bridesmaid, The Beautiful Refrigerator Is Empty’s Mark McCloughan and Daniel Student from The Daniel Student GayPorn Viewing Party.

[ lgbtq/theater ]

ALL BY MYSELF GayFest! solo performers on the perks of going it alone. By Mark Cofta

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ay performers often use the one-person play to express themselves, as is evident in this year’s GayFest! lineup. Six of the seven “one-night stand” shows feature solo artists performing their own material. While “they all tell the story of what it’s like to be LGBTQ, though in a variety of ways,” according to Quince Productions producing artistic director and GayFest! producer Rich Rubin, most are actually not autobiographical or confessional pieces. Mark McCloughan plays a teenage girl; Josh Hitchens reveals not himself, but serial killer Jeffrey Dahmer; Michael Medvidik sings about difficulties that men face coming out; and Shannon Agnew creates four characters, all friends of a fifth. Only Daniel Student and R. Eric Thomas tell their own first-person stories. “I think gay performing artists do tend to use the solo show a lot,” Rubin admits. “It’s a tempting art form for a group that has some unique tales to tell.” Practicality also plays a role, he believes. “Perhaps it’s easier to put up a gay solo piece than convince a theater to do a gay or lesbian play. They generally take little in the way of sets and other design elements, and can be performed around an existing show, as is happening here.” For Daniel Student, Plays & Players Theater’s producing artistic director and writer-performer of The Daniel Student Gay Porn Viewing Party (Aug. 27), a solo show “in a beautiful way, is the artist

perhaps at their most naked.” His “100 percent autobiographical” production is more storytelling than play, he explains, because “the person they see on stage is 100 percent me.” His stranger-than-fiction circumstances? He’s a straight man raised by lesbians, with a gay brother. R. Eric Thomas says he loves “the total freedom one has to reframe, reuse or restructure the traditional conventions of drama” in a solo show. “This is an incredible venue for gay audiences and artists,” he adds. “As a community, we’re working simultaneously for inclusion in the mainstream and also attention for our uniqueness and our personhood. Solo performance allows us to truly be represented in all our varied forms in ways that mainstream drama doesn’t always allow.” His humorous yet profound Always the Bridesmaid (Aug. 5-6) questions the definition of marriage for the individual, the gay community and God. Student and Thomas play themselves, but Shannon Agnew assays four fictional characters in Transient Summer (Aug. 13), a show about women connected by their relationships with someone who is embarking on a female-to-male transition. For Agnew, “oneperson shows are incredibly effective in creatively telling a narrative” and are “the greatest challenge and most rewarding experience an actor can have on stage.” Transient Summer grew from interviews with transgendered friends about their struggles, “from a complete marginalization by family and friends, and the difficult question about which public restroom to use, to finding a romantic

“It’s the artist at their most naked.”

>>> continued on page 28

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[ modestly luxuriant productions ] ³ electronic

A globe-trotting crate-digging comp from the London-based Sofrito collective (DJ Hugo Mendez and producer Frankie Francis), International Soundclash (Strut) is crammed with raw, gritty and above-all propulsive grooves stemming from the Caribbean to West and Central Africa and points beyond, and from 1976 to 2012 (though in most cases you’d be hard pressed to tell which was which). There’s plenty of reliably smoking soca, cumbia, zouk and Afrobeat, but better still are cross-pollinated oddities like Bell’a Njoh’s wibbly Cameroonian disco and Concept Neuf’s steel-pansand-vibraslaps take on blaxploitation funk. —K. Ross Hoffman

Like ornithologist-turned-beat-wrangler Dominik Eulberg and, especially, the peerless Pantha du Prince, Cologne producer Christian Löffler has a rare gift for collapsing the metaphorical distance between electronic music and the natural world. The modestly luxuriant productions comprising A Forest (Ki) are nothing revolutionary — dubby, wintry, melodic, essentially ambient house — but they pulse and glow almost like living, breathing things; effortlessly gliding, meticulously ordered, but with a wondrous, immersive ebb and flow. —K. Ross Hoffman

³ rock/reissue Siamese Dream and Gish already got the “deluxe” treatment last year, so here comes the Pisces Iscariot remastered rerelease. The Smashing Pumpkins’ 1994 album was itself a collection of angsty, cranky odds and ends, so stuffing it in a little box alongside a CD of new old rarities and a DVD of live performances is either ironic or apropos. Oh look, there’s a cassette in here too, and it actually has music on it. I checked. Aw, remember rewinding? —Patrick Rapa

flickpick

³ rock/pop With the All Girl Summer Fun Band in hibernation, sweet-voiced Kim Baxter takes her first solo sojourn on the selfreleased The Tale of Me and You (kimbaxter.bandcamp.com). This is catchy, fetching indie-pop like your big sister used to make: guitars to the front, upbeat beats, pretty choruses about love and regret. The opener, “Intelligent Lovers,” leaps with that ol’ Velocity Girl urgency, rides along on a smooth synth riff and, why not, ends with a slow-volume fade. Pretty, unexpected. —Patrick Rapa

[ movie review ]

RUBY SPARKS [ B- ] UNPLEASANT IN WAYS it intends and some it doesn’t, Ruby Sparks is a misogy-

A misogynist fantasy written and co-directed by women.

The sweet purr of Blüthner, the thrilling growl of Bösendorfer. ³ THE TECHNOLOGY AND art of piano manufacturing took its greatest leap forward during Beethoven’s career, from the tail end of the 18th century up to his death in 1827. This is especially significant in the world of period instrument practice. Although there have been fine period instrument recordings of Ludwig Van’s piano music for well over a generation, Dutch musician Ronald Brautigam has taken the concept to another level with his recordings of all of the solo piano music and the five concertos on the classy Swedish label BIS. Brautigam’s silent partner in this venture is the American-born, Amsterdam-based piano maker Paul McNulty. For any given work, McNulty has supplied Brautigam with a keyboard the composer would have used. Early sonatas are played on reproductions of the bright, woodsy-colored instruments made by Anton Walter (Mozart used these as well), while by the end of the cycle, he is playing on a version of the darker, gutsier keyboards made by the British firm Broadwood. The difference is striking, and the enhancement to our sense of the composer’s artistic vision is profound. The next major innovation in piano design would be the steel frame, allowing for far greater string tension and thus more volume, required for the large halls that such piano gods as Franz Liszt were playing in by the end of the nineteenth century. After that, the differences in pianos became a matter of personal taste. Do you want the clean, even range of Steinway? The thrilling growl of Bösendorfer? The sweet purr of Blüthner? A more important question might be, what is the sound the composer preferred? The remarkable Russian pianist Alexei Lubimov has been asking this question for years, with his own Beethoven recordings on old instruments, and most recently, with new ECM recordings of Debussy’s piano music as played on a period Bechstein (1925) and Steinway (1913) that the French impressionist favored. The sound of these instruments is somewhat softer and more delicate than, say, a contemporary Asian piano, but since we are dealing with a composer who was as obsessed with the quality of sound as much as any other composer in history, even subtle differences are worth exploiting. Lubimov seems to channel the creator in these wonderful performances. (p_burwasser@citypaper.net)

27

RUNNING BEHIND: In Zoe Kazan’s first produced screenplay, her real-life boyfriend Paul Dano stars as a writer who has one of his female characters brought to life.

KEYING UP

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nist fantasy written and co-directed by women. In her first produced screenplay, Zoe Kazan casts long-term boyfriend Paul Dano as a washed-up wunderkind novelist, struggling to follow up his generation-defining first book a decade after the fact. Part of his problem, married brother Chris Messina counsels, is that Dano doesn’t understand women, but he gets a unique opportunity to workshop his relationship skills when the female character he’s writing suddenly appears in his foyer. Ruby (Kazan) doesn’t know she’s not real, even though her inner life exists only to the extent Dano has put it down on paper, but as their relationship deepens, she starts to break free of the page, a development Dano isn’t sure he’s ready to sign off on. There’s a powerful undercurrent to Kazan’s fable about the way expectations condition romantic relationships, and the way we subtly and sometimes forcefully rewrite our partners. But directors Jonathan Dayton and Valerie Faris, who’ve taken their time choosing a follow-up to Little Miss Sunshine, don’t key into the material’s more twisted aspects. Dano’s sunny white split-level feels like the wrong setting for a story about confinement, especially as Dano’s ability to control Kazan’s actions with the press of a few typewriter keys comes to mimic the tyranny of an abusive relationship. It’s a credit to Ruby Sparks that it doesn’t shy away entirely from the darker aspects of its twisted tale, culminating in a creeped-out scene where Dano brutalizes his quasi-dream girl without getting up from behind his writing desk. But the movie doesn’t go as far as it needs to, or even as far as it thinks it does. It feels half-realized, lacking either conviction or nerve — an intriguing, even noble, failure, but a failure nonetheless. —Sam Adams

suitespot Peter Burwasser on classical

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✚ All By Myself

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“These elements are both clichè and manipulative.â€? partner who understands.â€? For Josh Hitchens, solo work is “the essence of what theater is: a storyteller talking directly to a group of people with no fourth wall, no barrier between the performer, the story and the people listening.â€? His previous solo adaptations (Stoker’s Dracula: A Solo Tale of Terror and A Christmas Carol: A Ghost Story of Christmas), like his new Guilty but Insane: A Confessional Monologue (Aug. 20), show Hitchens’ predilection for dark stories. “I was very drawn to the idea of a seemingly ordinary man who committed some of the most horrendous murders in recent memory,â€? he says of Jeffrey Dahmer, who “was always painfully aware of the things he was doing, and was very calm and articulate when talking about it all.â€? Dahmer’s confession, Hitchens marvels, was 167 pages long. “He wanted to and needed to talk and tell everything.â€? In What? Like It’s Hard? (Aug. 12), singer Michael Medvidik uses show tunes and pop songs as text for stories about gay men coming out and finding love. Focusing on a variety of experiences through a solo performer provides, says Medvidik, “a single person that the audience can connect to.â€? Mark McCloughan’s The Beautiful Refrigerator Is Empty (Aug. 19) is not strictly solo, since three per-

[ arts & entertainment ]

formers occasionally interrupt his 14-year-old girl character’s semiimprovised monologues, but more “a loving satire of one-man shows. We embrace many of the conventions of the form ‌ but we also draw attention to the fact that these elements are both clichĂŠ and manipulative.â€? McCloughan doesn’t reject the form, however, finding it “really exciting.â€? In gay theater, he adds, “many formal elements of one-man shows are really effective, especially because lots of gay theater involves direct appeals from performer to audience based on common experience. Monologue is a really effective way to forge an intimate connection with an audience.â€? Satirizing the solo form becomes, for McCloughan, another way to honor it. (m_cofta@citypaper.net) ✚ Aug. 3-Sept. 1,$15-$25 per show or

$35-$150 for festival passes, Plays & Player’s Theater, 1714 Delancey Place, 215-627-1088, quinceproductions.com.

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By Holly Otterbein

“We’ve sort of been in suspension,� says Nichole. “But now we’re really hung. We’re ready to go.� Through Aug. 18, opening Fri., Aug. 3, 6 p.m., 2430 Coral St., littleberlin.org.

Âł GRAVY STUDIO & GALLERY

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Last summer, Sean Bolton set up a photo booth at a block party on Cedar Street in Kensington, just a few blocks from Fishtown. Though the area’s working-class old heads and newer yuppies don’t always get along, the sun and brews apparently eased the tension that day. Tough guys, families and young fashionistas all lined up for the booth. The exhibit, “Cedar Street Block Party,� manages to be both a subtle examination of gentrification and an ode to the easygoing summertime. The most striking photos capture characters who seem emblematic of the neighborhood: Chubby blond kids, a hipster with a Mad Men-era hat, a woman chilling in a Pathmark shopping cart. “I got this nice mix of people who are representative of what’s happening in the neighborhood,� says Bolton. “But that was not my focus. I kind of just wanted to have some fun, try to get pictures of Kensington people.� Bolton wants to have a good time at Gravy Studio & Gallery, too. He’ll be setting up a photo booth in the space. He expects it’ll be quite different than the block party. “It’ll be less of the old-timers, more of the gentrifiers,� he says. “But it’s got more of a motorcycle vibe. Lots of leather jackets. That’ll be fun.� Through Aug. 31, opening Fri., Aug. 3, 6:30 p.m., 2212 Sepviva St., gravystudio.blogspot.com.

Âł LITTLE BERLIN Last year, Little Berlin was in trouble. The beloved, quirky gallery was down to just a few members — and its main source of income is membership dues. “Some of the old members just wanted to pass the torch,â€? explains co-curator Kelani Nichole. After months of holding music shows, recruiting new members and fundraising, Nichole says the gallery is finally back on its feet. So it’s time to celebrate. “HUNGâ€? is a group show featuring 12 past and present members from Little Berlin, including Alana Bograd, Angela McQuillan and Lee Tusman. The exhibit’s title refers to the fact that all featured pieces, including double-sided paintings and digital projections, will be hanging from the 20-foot ceiling. The title also reflects the gallery’s newfound stability.

At Tiger Strikes Asteroid, seven artists break the mold by installing their china, porcelain and paper pieces with a unique priority in mind. “The disparate works in a contemporary group show are most commonly tied together conceptually while visually arranged to encourage individual viewing,â€? says curator Nora Salzman in a statement. By contrast, Salzman writes, Asteroid’s new show, “On Loan,â€? “is designed to bind the conceptually distinct works together visually through the use of display, forcing the works to be viewed collectively.â€? Through Aug. 26, opening Fri., Aug. 3, 6 p.m., 319A N. 11th St., 484-4690319, tigerstrikesasteroid.com. ‌ Philadelphia Photo Arts Center, one of the best galleries in town, is crowding the walls with work from 70 member artists. There’s no theme that ties the pieces together, but perhaps that’s a good thing. “There’s a huge range in terms of people’s engagement, experience and backgrounds all in one show,â€? says founder Sarah Stolfa. “Seeing that range is what I find exciting.â€? Don’t miss Jonathan Scott Goldman’s haunting, architecture-based piece and Kelsey Halliday Johnson’s strikingly colorful examination of nature. Through Aug. 30, opening Thu., Aug. 2, 6 p.m., 1400 N. American St., 215-232-5678, philaphotoarts.org. ‌ If August’s openings inspire you to make your own artwork, head to the Clay Studio. As part of the gallery’s Fire Up First Friday series, you can sip cocktails and learn how to create tiles. A small number of seats will be available first-come, firstserved. Fri., Aug. 3, 8 p.m., 137139 N. Second St., 215-925-3453, theclaystudio.org. (editorial@citypaper.net)

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FILMS ARE GRADED BY CITY PAPER CRITICS A-F.

Farewell, My Queen

NEW DIARY OF A WIMPY KID: DOG DAYS Read Michael Blancato’s review at citypaper.net/movies. (Franklin Mills, Pearl, UA Riverview)

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ELENA A haiku: Poor Elena is more housekeeper than wife. In Russia, house keeps you! (Not reviewed) (Ritz at the Bourse)

FAREWELL, MY QUEEN|B

COLUMBIA PICTURES PRESENTS AN ORIGINAL FILM PRODUCTION A FILM BY LEN WISEMAN “TOTAL RECALL” BRYAN CRANSTON JOHN CHO AND BILL NIGHY MUSICBY HARRY GREGSON-WILLIAMS EXECUTIVE INSPIRED BY THE SHORT STORY PRODUCERS RIC KIDNEY LEN WISEMAN “WE CAN REMEMBER IT FOR YOU WHOLESALE” BY PHILIP K. DICK SCREEN STORY BY RONALD SHUSETT & DAN O’BANNON AND JON POVILL AND KURT WIMMER SCREENPLAY PRODUCED BY KURT WIMMER AND MARK BOMBACK BY NEAL H. MORITZ TOBY JAFFE DIRECTED BY LEN WISEMAN STARTS FRIDAY, AUGUST 3

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Benoît Jacquot’s Farewell, My Queen is the latest in a long line of Marie Antoinette renditions struggling to measure up to the infamous queen’s towering pouf. Based on the book by Chantal Thomas, the film takes place on the eve of the French Revolution but is set almost entirely within the walls of Versailles, told through the eyes of the queen’s young reader Sidonie Laborde (Léa Seydoux). The movie is mainly about Antoinette (Diane Kruger) and the Duchess de Polignac (Virginie Ledoyen) — a character based on the charismatic enchantress of the court rumored to have been the queen’s lover. But instead of focusing on their steamy intra-palace tryst, Jacquot offers only vague references to their intimacy, jumping from Laborde’s uncomfortable infatuation with the queen to her uninteresting interactions with various palace staff. Only at the very end does Antoinette begin to express her love for de Polignac, emotions introduced far too late in this disappointingly shallow film. Farewell could have succeeded if it had spent more time exploring the queen’s semi-secret love affair, but when it finally comes time to evacuate the castle, it’s hard to care whether the players eat cake or lose a head. —Jodi Bosin (Ritz Five)

OSLO, AUGUST 31ST|ABased on Pierre Drieu La Rochelle’s novel Le feu follet, which was also the source for Louis Malle’s The Fire Within, Joachim Trier’s movie charts a day in the life of recovering drug addict Anders (Anders Danielsen Lie). He’s 10 months sober and working the program, but returning to Oslo from his rehab clinic opens areas he’s had to shut down to survive. In the six years he was using, Anders’ friends have gotten married and started families, but if he envies their lives, at least some of them envy his freedom, or what they see as such. None of them understands what he’s been through, nor do we get a sense of what drove him to it, except for what comes through in the language of Lie’s bearing, the way every room he’s in seems too big, every conversation too loud. Oslo, August 31 is mercifully free of moralizing on either side or generalized theses about addiction; we absorb details almost subliminally, without being told how to interpret them. As with Trier’s Reprise, the frame is empty and artfully composed, giving the characters plenty of space to define themselves but no cover to hide behind. —Sam Adams (Ritz at the Bourse)

RUBY SPARKS|BRead Sam Adams’ review on p. 27. (Ritz East)

TOTAL RECALL Read Drew Lazor's review at citypaper.net/movies. (Franklin Mills, Pearl, UA Riverview)

THE WELL-DIGGER’S DAUGHTER|B Set in the early days of World War II, this remake of Marcel Pagnol’s 1940 classic follows a working-class man (played by the film’s director, Daniel Auteuil) as he tries to arrange a marriage between his prized-possession daughter Patricia

Plenty of chemicals were required to scrub the successful Spider-Man franchise down to its bare-whiteroom bones; consider Marc Webb’s involvement a solvent, dissolving all the pasted-down expository flyers and lingering stylistic debris Sam Raimi and Tobey Maguire left behind. Thanks in strong part to his young, resilient stars, the (500) Days of Summer director fields a formidable redux challenge with grace, connecting with the source material in such a sincere manner that it makes one of the oldest origin stories in all of comics seem fresh. Peter Parker, as we know, gains his arachno-bilities after being snacked on by a radioactive spider, and Webb does incredible FX work splitting the difference between Parker’s vintage ink-and-paper poses and his modern, athletic navigation of

Beasts of the Southern Wild is a gorgeous thing, set in an impoverished Southern area called the Bathtub that pointedly resembles rural Louisiana. It’s there that a spirited 6-year-old named Hushpuppy (the astonishing Quvenzhané Wallis) makes her home in a tree-bound trailer, connected by zip line to one occupied by her alcoholic father (Dwight Henry). Captured on Super 16mm, the film’s images are warm and earthy, the colors rich and saturated, as if the print had been dug up from a particularly loamy patch of ground. But the beauty is troubling — not simply because it runs the risk of aestheticizing rural poverty,

THE DARK KNIGHT RISES|B Eight years after the events of The Dark Knight, Christian Bale’s Bruce Wayne is a morose recluse, but is lured outside again by a seductive cat burglar and a masked brute. Our hero’s inner struggles keep him out of the suit for too-long stretches, though Christopher Nolan is a craftsman on a grand scale as a director and keeps the pace unflagging for much of the film’s nearly three hours. The political themes, which might have been effective as subtext, are unfortunately spelled out in speeches that sound like they were transcribed from an evening’s

EASY MONEY|BJoel Kinnaman is JW, a whip-smart business student of modest means who masquerades as a rich kid in a posh, privileged crowd. Longing to actually hold the stacks he pretends to have, he agrees to start running coke for Abdulkarim (Mahmut Suvakci). Starting off sunny, the bold criminal gig is

“TENSE, ABSORBING, PLEASURABLY ORIGINAL.” NYTIMES.COM/CRITICSPICKS

- Manohla Dargis

“FASCINATING AND INTOXICATING! HISTORY IS RARELY AS PASSIONATE AS THIS.” - Kenneth Turan

PAUL ZOE ANTONIO ANNETTE STEVE ELLIOTT CHRIS

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rapidly enveloped in gloom, with JW’s complicated dealings with escaped con Jorge (Matias Verela), Serbian gangster Mrado (Dragomir Mrsic) and rich girl Sophie (Lisa Henni) stretching the well-intentioned not-so-criminal in a million directions. Easy Money proves that director Daniel Espinosa understands pace and has style for days, but he fixates so much on his characters’ emoting that more than a few scenes are left over-rendered. A tiny shot of signature Scandinavian

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THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN|A-

MSNBC lineup. It’s one thing to take a comic-book source seriously; it’s another to weigh it down with ponderous borrowings from the Occupy and green movements, 9/11 and even Dickens. —Shaun Brady (Pearl, Roxy, Tuttleman IMAX, UA Riverview)

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CONTINUING

BEASTS OF THE SOUTHERN WILD|B

but because director Benh Zeitlin and his collaborators seem heedless of the possibility. Beasts is a movie eminently worth seeing, but surrendering to its spell is as dangerous as trusting in government-built levees. —SA (Ritz Five)

his Manhattan playground. More than a few have questioned the relevance of this reboot, but there’s ample promise caught in Webb’s web. —Drew Lazor (UA Riverview)

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(Astrid Bergès-Frisbey) and his oafish friend Felipe (Kad Merad), but things get messy at home when she gets knocked up by her pop’s wealthy best friend Jacques (Nicolas Duvauchelle). Auteuil’s direction is expert, utilizing tranquil pacing, well-placed moments of silence and lush cinematography to paint a vivid picture of Provence’s gorgeous countryside. This colorful update of the black-and-white original, however, doesn’t quite warrant the need for a redo. It’s pretty to look at, but a little revisionism — perhaps a modern-day setting — would do wonders for what ends up coming across as a carboncopy of something Pagnol already did. —Andrew Wimer (Ritz at the Bourse)

DANO KAZAN BANDERAS BENING COOGAN GOULD MESSINA

“A magical, MODERN-DAY LOVE STORY, one with razor-sharp edges and a tender heart.” “INGENIOUS AND DELIGHTFUL... Zany and sweet.”

“A SWEET, TRIPPY COMEDY.”

Group Presents � � CohenLéaMedia Seydoux

Diane Kruger

Virginie Ledoyen

Farewell, My Queen Based on the International Bestseller www.facebook.com/ FarewellMyQueenFilm

EXCLUSIVE ENGAGEMENT STARTS AUGUST 3

WATCH THE TRAILER AT COHENMEDIA.NET

CITY EXCLUSIVE ENGAGEMENTS CENTER Landmark’s Ritz East START FRIDAY, AUGUST 3 (215) 925-7900

VOORHEES Rave Ritz Center 16 (856) 783-2726

33

RITZ 5 214 Walnut Street · 215-925-7900 RITZ CENTER 16 900 Haddonfield-Berlin Rd Voorhees, NJ 08043 (856) 770-9065

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“Absolutely aces — at once FUNNY, ENDEARING AND PLAYFUL while still speaking resonant truths.”

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restraint would do him well. —DL (Ritz at the Bourse)

unspoken and unexamined assumption that taking your clothes off for a living will rot your soul. —SA (Roxy)

percent protagonists, although at the price of severely limiting the film’s scope. —SA (Ritz Five)

THE QUEEN OF VERSAILLES|B

STEP UP REVOLUTION|C+ Writer Duane Adler combines the stage and street elements of his previous three films in the romance of aspiring dancer Emily and beach-waiter-cumdancer Sean. The latter is a member of guerrilla dance troupe the MOB, which randomly breaks out eclectic hip-hop moves in art galleries, corporate offices and on top of cars. More than anything, Step Up Revolution is a 97-minute music video for remixes of Travis Barker, M.I.A, Fergie, Diplo and Jennifer Lopez. Director Scott Speer’s background in music videos ensures that the dancing is the glue that holds the whole thing together. Viewers may not leave with a single new thought in their brains, but toes are guaranteed to tap. —JB (Pearl, UA Riverview)

MAGIC MIKE|AFor most of Magic Mike’s first hour, “women, money and a good time” is enough. The barely clothed dance numbers carry none of the ugly baggage that would weigh down a movie about female strippers, especially since Reid Carolin’s script studiously avoids any mention of steroids, speed or eating disorders. They’d only kill the buzz. Until the other shoe drops, Magic Mike is pure, giddy enjoyment, put together with the offhand skill of a slumming master. The latter stages are a letdown, not just because the high is followed by the inevitable hangover but because director Steven Soderbergh and Carolin assert the decline rather than build up to it. It seems to have less to do with 21st-century economics than an

In Lauren Greenfield’s documentary The Queen of Versailles, the lending crisis’ fallout trickles up as well as down, showering ruin on time-share mogul David Siegel and his wife, Jacqueline. Like so many Americans, the couple is leveraged to the hilt; so when the economic crisis hits, they’re totally unprepared for the credit freeze. The Vegas skyscraper planned as the crown jewel of Siegel’s empire is shuttered before it’s open, and the 90,000-squarefoot house that was to be the world’s largest private dwelling stalls out as a half-built shell. By focusing on Jackie rather than her prickly, short-tempered husband, Greenfield elicits surprising sympathy for her 1-

“JAWDROPPING. EYEOPENING. A FILMMAKING COUP.” STEVEN REA, PHILADELPHIA INQUIRER

���� ���� ����� WASHINGTON POST

NEW YORK DAILY NEWS

SAN FRANCISCO CHRONICLE

THE WATCH A haiku: Stiller, Vaughn, Hill and that guy from the I.T. Crowd fart at each other. (Not reviewed) (Pearl, UA Riverview)

REPERTORY FILM AMBLER THEATER

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AWESOME FEST LANDMARK THEATRES

FIVE NOW PLAYING CenterRITZ City 215-925-7900

RAVE MOTION PICTURES

RITZ CENTER 16 Voorhees 856-783-2726

6789, countytheater.org. Breakfast at Tiffany’s (1961, U.S., 105 min): A

new-in-town writer falls for Audrey Hepburn’s high-society faker Holly Golightly. Join the club, buddy. Tue., Aug. 7, 7 p.m., $9.75.

THE BALCONY 1003 Arch St., 215-922-6888, thetroc. org. Coming to America (1988, U.S., 87 min.): Eddie Murphy's Prince Akeem ditches his African homeland to find a new bride in the Big Apple. Mon., Aug. 6, 8 p.m., $3.

BRYN MAWR FILM INSTITUTE 824 W. Lancaster Ave., Bryn Mawr, 610-527-9898, brynmawrfilm.org. Caddyshack (1980, U.S., 89 min.): A new member drives the country club as batty as a gopher drives Bill Murray. Tue.,Aug. 7, 7 p.m., $10. All That Heaven Allows (1955, U.S., 111 min.): Woe is Jane Wyman when she finds herself in a secret romance with her handsome gardener. Wed., Aug. 7 p.m., $10.

COLONIAL THEATRE

108 E. Butler Ave., Ambler, 215-3457855, amblertheater.org. Notorious (1954, U.S., 108 min.): A perturbed Ingrid Bergman must figure out how to blend with the group of ex-Nazis she’s supposed to spy on. Thu., Aug. 2, 7 p.m., $9.75.

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bike, and he will travel the world to hunt you down. He'll also stop in a few bars along the way to do the Tequila! Thu., Aug. 2, 8 p.m., Liberty Lands Park, free. Funeral Kings (2012, U.S., 85 min.): Dirty-mouthed junior high students come of age in Catholic school. Sat., Aug. 4, 8 p.m., Race Street Pier, free.

Various locations, theawesomefest. com. Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure (1985, U.S., 90 min.): Steal Pee-Wee’s

227 Bridge St., Phoenixville, 610917-1228, thecolonialtheatre.com. Poltergeist (1982, U.S., 114 min.): PSA: Don’t build on top of Indian burial grounds. Fri., Aug 3, 9:45 p.m., $8. Harry Potter Marathon, Parts 1-5: As dark lord Voldemort rises, so too does the wizard orphan Harry Potter. Sat., Aug 4, 10 a.m., $10-20.

INTERNATIONAL HOUSE 3701 Chestnut St., 215-387-5125, ihousephilly.org. Silent Running (1972, U.S., 89 min.): Ordered to dispose of the last plant life in the galaxy, an astronaut weighs his options. Wed., Aug 8, 8 p.m., free.

THEATER OF THE LIVING ARTS 334 South St., 215-922-1011, tlaphilly. com. Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975, U.S., 100 min.): Let’s do the time warp again! And again! And again! And again. And again. ... And again. Sat., Aug. 4, 11:59 p.m., $10.

UNKNOWN JAPAN PhilaMOCA, 531 N. 12th St., 267519-9651, philamoca.org. Carmen Comes Home (1951, Japan, 86 min.): Carmen left home for the excitement of the big city, but to her old village’s dismay, it wasn’t the G-rated kind. Wed., Aug. 8, 7:30 p.m., free.

Harry Potter Marathon, Parts 6-7:

You didn't hear this from us, but Snape kills Dumbledore. Sun., Aug 5, 1:45 p.m., $10-20.

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THIS FILM IS RATED PG-13. Please note: Passes received through this promotion do not guarantee you a seat at the theatre. Seating is on a first come, first served basis, except for members of the reviewing press. Theatre is overbooked to ensure a full house. No admittance once screening has begun. All federal, state and local regulations apply. A recipient of tickets assumes any and all risks related to use of ticket, and accepts any restrictions required by ticket provider. Sony, all promo partners and their affiliates accept no responsibility or liability in connection with any loss or accident incurred in connection with use of a prize. Tickets cannot be exchanged, transferred or redeemed for cash, in whole or in part. We are not responsible if, for any reason, winner is unable to use his/her ticket in whole or in part. Not responsible for lost, delayed or misdirected entries. All federal and local taxes are the responsibility of the winner. Void where prohibited by law. No purchase necessary. Participating sponsors, their employees & family members and their agencies are not eligible. NO PHONE CALLS!

IN THEATERS AUGUST 8 www.HopeSprings-Movie.com

INVITE YOU AND A GUEST TO ATTEND AN ADVANCE SCREENING OF To download two admit-one passes go to

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CONEHEADS: Known for their pedal-powered ice cream carts, the Little Baby’s dudes will open a stationary shop on Frankford Avenue on Friday. MICHAEL PERSICO

The Agenda is our selective guide to what’s going on in the city this week. For comprehensive event listings, visit citypaper.net/listings. IF YOU WANT TO BE LISTED:

THURSDAY

8.2 [ music/arts/lgbtq ]

✚ PHREAK N QUEER

Thu.-Sun., Aug. 2-5, more info at phreaknqueerfestival.wordpress.com.

FRIDAY

8.3 [ comedy ]

✚ DAVE ATTELL Best known for his hilarious, hard-drinking, reality-ish

—Patrick Rapa Fri.-Sat., Aug. 3-4, 7:30 and 10 p.m., $32-$39, Helium Comedy Club, 2031 Sansom St., 215-496-9001, heliumcomedy.com.

[ food ]

✚ LITTLE BABY’S ICE CREAM OPENING The guys who brought Philly its first ice-cream tricycle are finally opening a brickand-mortar establishment.

Jeffrey Ziga, Martin Brown, Pete Angevine and Morris Levin are responsible for the unusual frozen combos, like Earl Grey Sriracha, currently being peddled (and pedaled) on our streets. There’s also a non-dairy menu for vegans and the lactose intolerant. They promise the grand opening will be a night of art, music and merriment, but you’ll have to be there to find out why Ziga says, “all your speculoos are belong to us.” —Hannah Chatterjee Fri., Aug. 3, 5 p.m., free, Little Baby’s World HQ, 2311 Frankford Ave., 215694-9069, littlebabysicecream.com.

SATURDAY

8.4

avant-bard of backpack rapturned-rhetorical auteur, can write, produce and record a song about his favorite doughnut shop and make it sound like the soundtrack to the Day of Reckoning. That’s “Fryerstarter” off the Rhymesayersreleased Skelethon, Rock’s first new solo album since 2007. Though the effort features other single-friendly instances of levity (“Grace” is about how he hates green beans), it’s also built upon some of the most personal asides of his recording career. Expect an ominous experience at the show if the eloquent MC drops “Gopher Guts,” skewering his own self-absorption via signature academically nebulous verbiage. —Drew Lazor Sat., Aug. 4, 9 p.m., $15-$17, with Rob Sonic and DJ Big Wiz, Union Transfer, 1026 Spring Garden St., 215-2322100, utphilly.com.

[ hip-hop ]

[ comedy ]

✚ AESOP ROCK

✚ AND I AM NOT LYING

Only Aesop Rock, the seminal

Life washes over us like “a

giant garden hose squirting from the hand of an indifferent God” — at least according to NYC-based variety show And I Am Not Lying. To discover what that means you’ll have to ask storytellers Juliet Hope Wayne (Philly’s own), Jeff Simmermon and Cyndi Freeman, comedian Andy Ross and/or burlesque performers Cherry Pitz and Legs Malone at Underground Arts on Saturday. Let’s not forget the sideshow stylings of Jelly Boy the Clown, either. —Jodi Bosin Sat., Aug. 4, 8 p.m., $10, Underground Arts, 1200 Callowhill St., undergroundarts.org, andiamnotlying.com.

[ dance/festival ]

✚ MAD DECENT BLOCK PARTY Like The Roots, Diplo doesn’t belong to Philly anymore. In fact, the Mad Decent mogul is more often spotted in L.A. these days, teaming up with Snoop Dogg, Vampire Weekend

35

Atlanta’s independent arts fest Mondohomo was a revelation for Philly DJ Kate Gormley. Her answer, the multi-venue, DIY-tastic Phreak N Queer Festival, debuted last year. Round two starts Thursday: A rebellious art show at the Boom

—Andrew Wimer

Comedy Central show Insomniac, Dave Attell is apparently sober but not quite walking the straight and narrow. These days, he’s got a show on Showtime called Dave’s Old Porn. He calls it “The Mystery Science Theater of porn”: Attell and foul-mouthed comedian pals like Chelsea Handler, Adam Carolla and Jim Norton sit around watching ’70s and ’80s stag films and laugh/gag at how hairy everybody was. His standup act, meanwhile, remains as beautifully harsh and self-deprecating as ever.

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Submit information by email (listings@citypaper.net) to Caroline Russock or enter them yourself at citypaper.net/submit-event with the following details: date, time, address of venue, telephone number and admission price. Incomplete submissions will not be considered, and listings information will not be accepted over the phone.

Room, then Glitterbomb! tears the floor off Elena’s Soul with electro-dance. Friday warms up with an open mic/poetry slam at Cake and the Beanstalk followed by a queer ’50s sock hop at Johnny Brenda’s. Saturday is “Family Day” at Liberty Lands Park and the Homo Rama music showcase at MilkBoy. And nothing’s gonna top the finale: a Gay Ole Opry at Ortlieb’s, complete with twostep lessons. Yippie-ki-gay!

a&e | feature | the naked city classifieds | food

the agenda

and whoever else accepts his friend request. But Dip has not forsaken us, and still makes a point to make Philly one of the few cities to host his big, free Mad Decent Block Party. His DJ partner Switch ditched Major Lazer last year, but Diplo’s keeping the name and the electro-dancehall music alive, booking it as the Block Party headliner. Also playing Philly are Brazilian dance-funk party-starter Bonde Do Role, chill beat-maker Lunice and aggravating douche-rapper MC Riff Raff. —Patrick Rapa Sat., Aug. 4, noon, free (with RSVP), Great Plaza at Penn’s Landing, Chestnut Street and Columbus Boulevard, maddecentblockparty.com.

SUNDAY

8.5

,- "+,- - ,)(-

[ rock/pop ]

,/#!4%$ /. 4(% ./24(7%34 #/2.%2 /& 4( "!)."2)$'% 343 (+ (( -"& %% + ) +" !(.+, 45%3$!9 &2)$!9 .//. 0- 3!452$!9 !- 0- 35.$!9 !- 0 + - !(.+, 45%3$!9 4(523$!9 35.$!9 0- !- &2)$!9 3!452$!9 0- !-

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N N N : I < G < I @ < 9 < 8 L D F E ; < : F D

✚ GRUFF RHYS Gruff Rhys is a capricious sort of chap at the best of times, gallivanting affably from project to project with a trick in his eye and a twinkle up his sleeve. Having logged nearly two decades with the unstoppable Super Furry Animals, plus numerous collaborative side ventures and three lovably low-key psych-pop solo albums (most recently the dappled and bubbly Hotel Shampoo), he’s

now launched an “investigative concert tour� as part of his second documentary film project. Like 2010’s Separado!, this one also involves a search for a long-lost ancestor. John Evans is said to have come to America in 1792 looking for a rumored tribe of Welsh-speaking natives, and to have led a series of adventures that are the stuff of acid-laced tall tales. Rhys is encouraging “anyone with clues regarding Evans’ unknown burial place, imaginary volcanoes, wandering tribes of Welsh speakers or lingering river reptiles� to come share what they know — presumably there will also be music. —K. Ross Hoffman Sun., Aug. 5, 7:30 p.m., $10-$12, Mausoleum of Contemporary Art, 531 N. 12th St., 267-519-9651, PhilaMOCA.com.

[ rock/festival ]

✚ SECOND STREET FESTIVAL Picture it: Three stages in the middle of Second Street in Northern Liberties. Another one in the Piazza, where Man Man is all dressed in white, honking and clanking off the glass walls. The excessive heat warning has been lifted. The Foodery is packed because the cops are letting you slide on the public-drinking thing, as long as you’re cool about it. Food, music, a glaze of sweat all over everybody and everything. The Second Street Festival, now in its fourth year, is an endurance challenge and

[ the agenda ]

a fine Philly tradition. —Patrick Rapa Sun., Aug. 5, noon-10 p.m., free, North Second Street, between Germantown Avenue and Green Street, 2ndstfestival.org.

[ metal ]

✚ SUMMER SLAUGHTER TOUR In a summer as oppressively hot as this one has been, experiencing an even more oppressively brutal environment for a few hours might make the humid Philly streets seem refreshing in contrast. Enter the Summer Slaughter tour, a daylong assault featuring nine particularly merciless metal bands. Death-metal pioneers Cannibal Corpse headline, incredibly creeping up on their 25th anniversary. The band’s latest, the demurely (for them) titled Torture is their best in ages, gnarled riffs spiderwebbing across founding drummer Paul Mazurkiewicz’s trademark granite slab of pile-driving rhythm. They’ll be joined by fellow Metal Bladers Job for a Cowboy, Between the Buried and Me (band names have gotten far more obscurely elaborate in the last quarter-century) and Goatwhore (though there are exceptions), as well as The Faceless, Periphery, Veil of Maya, Exhumed and Cerebral Bore (think trepanning device, not insufferable

Sun., Aug. 5, 1:30 p.m., $29.50, Trocadero, 1003 Arch St., 215-9226888, thetroc.com.

MONDAY

✚ DONG JOHNSON Back in the day, bands like this — you know, silly pun name/ serious punk chops — would get stacked like cordwood during broad-daylight, all-ages shows at the Firenze. I do not miss those days. Fortunately, we live in more enlightened times, and maybe we’re ready to embrace a bunch of hardcore torchbearers like Philly’s Dong Johnson, who keep it short, tight and loud. They scream and writhe. They wail and crash. They replaced the Black Flag bars with penises. They should really do some Rollins covers (might I suggest “Do It”?), because you know they would tear it up. —Patrick Rapa Mon., Aug. 6, 9 p.m., $10, with Broncho and Bad Weather California, Johnny Brenda’s, 1201 N. Frankford Ave., 215739-9684, johnnybrendas.com.

[ metal ]

The feel-bad hit of the summer.

Mon., Aug. 6, 8 p.m., $10, with Pilgrim and Primitive Weapons, Kung Fu Necktie, 1250 N. Front St., 215-2914919, kungfunecktie.com.

TUESDAY

8.7

—Patrick Rapa Tue., Aug. 7, 9 p.m., $10, The Fire, 412 W. Girard Ave., 267-671-9298, iourecords.com/thefire.

[ african/world/folk ]

✚ SIDI TOURÉ Malian guitarist Sidi Touré’s first widely available recording released last year (rather improbably by post-rock/indie stronghold Thrill Jockey) bore the simple, descriptive title Sahel Folk. This was perhaps

[ hip-hop/rock ]

✚ BEASTIE BOYS TRIBUTE NIGHT MCA wasn’t one of ours, but you’d never know it by the way Philly hip-hoppers are lining up to pay homage to the late Beastie Boy. Kuf Knotz, Schoolly D, Cookie Rabinowitz, Rec Raw, a couple dudes from Fathead — MCs from all over the scene will be passing the mic on Tuesday. More than can fit here. And just to make it clear this ain’t karaoke, they’ll be backed by

partly in contradistinction to the “desert blues” tag applied to his countrymen, like the late Ali Farka Touré (no relation) and reigning champs Tinariwen. Indeed, the album’s lilting, gently droning strains were about as folksy as it gets: fully acoustic, unvarnished and intimate, all reportedly recorded over tea at his sister’s house. Koïma,Touré’s second outing for the label, was cut in a studio with a full band

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✚ MARES OF THRACE

—Patrick Rapa

an all-star band (Chuck Treece, Tom Spiker, Damon Bennet, Travis Woodson and host Dom McCloskey) who’ll drop science like Galileo dropped the orange.

food | classifieds

[ punk/rock ]

[ the agenda ]

the agenda

8.6

This grouchy, grudgy Calgary band — recently upsized to a trio — forges harsh, gut-churning sludge metal that makes you think of everything in the world that can kill you. Singer-guitarist Thérèse Lanz, with a voice like a three-packs a day ringwraith, is not known for her elocution, but there’s jagged passion in every scream, bellow and bark. Neck-snapping chord changes, shrieking feedback, thick, guttural drums — everything’s intense. Heard they just added a bass player; maybe he’ll lighten things up?

C O VA L E S K Y

—Shaun Brady

the naked city | feature | a&e

dinner-party guest).

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a&e | feature | the naked city the agenda classifieds | food

dj

FRI., AUG. 3

PUNKY REGGAE PARTY

nights

A SELECTIVE GUIDE TO WHAT BANGS IN PHILLY | BY GAIR MARKING, AKA DEV79

W M 1 N/C U V

Weekly Monthly One-off No Charge Breaks Downtempo

h b O A e 9

Drum ’n’ Bass Dubstep/Garage Electro Experimental Funk/Soul Goth/Industrial

G t i s <

Hip-hop House Latin Progressive/ House Reggae

some party ruckus, $12-$20.

Barbary

Time

951 Frankford Ave., 215-423-8342

1315 Sansom St., 215-985-4800

Fare Restaurant

Torrent Collective

2028 Fairmount Ave., 267-639-3063

938 S. Eighth St., 215-769-1530

M Room

Voyeur

15 W. Girard Ave., 215-739-5577

1221 Saint James St., 215-735-5772

Marathon Grill

Walnut Room Redux

FRI., AUG. 3

1818 Market St., 215-561-1818

1709 Walnut St., 215-751-0201

Q MUMBAI SCIENCE 1 t @

THU., AUG. 2

Morgan’s Pier. One of Lektroluv Records finest artists is playing under the stars, free.

Medusa Lounge

27 S. 21st St., 215-557-1981 Morgan’s Pier

221 N. Columbus Blvd., 215-279-7134 O’Reilly’s Pub

2672 Coral St., 215-425-0413 Penn’s Landing

Chestnut Street and Columbus Boulevard Recess

z P

PO, Paul Devro and Dirty South Joe. The annual block party thrown by Diplo and friends, free.

SUN., AUG. 5 Q THE SOUL PICKLE M t @

O’Reilly’s Pub w/Jamie 3:26, Robotique DJs, No Headphones and Tony G. The good people of Rizumu are back with this party that features both indoor and outdoor areas, free.

mand and Yahmean. The team that rocks club sounds, global bass and the raw rap attack, with surprise guests and all kinds of goodness, $3.

WED., AUG. 8 Q DEEP DOWN WEDNESDAY W t @ Fare Restaurant w/DJ Martin

Reed, Chip Bruchez and Will Maggs. A 10-year Philly tradition reinvented for folks to get over the hump, free.

Lounge w/Salvo and Matpat. House music all night long for your postFirst-Friday pleasure, free.

Q PURE PRESENTS MISS NINE

SAT., AUG. 4

MON., AUG. 6

1 O G t y ! @ Recess w/Jansen

Q MAD DECENT BLOCK PARTY 1 b O G t i y @ Penn’s Landing

Q MAD DECENT MONDAYS W b O G t < P @ M Room w/Dirty

Q WORLD FUZION WEDNESDAYS

and DJ Eugenius. Pure Productions and 3 Nerds Enterprises bring this European DJ/model to Old City for

South Joe, Uncle Ron, Flufftronix, Tim Dolla, Gun$ Garcia, Qi Com-

Mr. Femstar and Jay Criss. The Worldtown and Fresh Fuzion teams

Q MILK PLUS M t @ Medusa

w/Major Lazer, Bonde Do Role, Kito, Riff Raff, DJ Sega, Reptar, Lunice, PO

Q SUMMER CLASSIQ W > @

Marathon Grill w/DJ Royale. Get in on this happy-hour action on Marathon Grill’s patio bar for that relaxing outdoor flavor, free.

Q REAL FUN W e G y < > @

Q SUNDAE W e t @ Morgan’s Pier w/Sat-One, Lee Jones and Dirty. This legendary Sundae jam is rockin’ a new locale this year with all-ages dancing and vibes, $5.

Barbary w/AC Slater, Udachi, Clicks & Whistles, Star Eyes, The Captain and Dell Harris. The NYC bass champ label welcomes the Party Like Us guys, $5.

have joined forces to present this weekly foray into eclectic international sounds, $5.

Walnut Room Redux w/Brendan Bring’em, Low Budget and MC Elixir. The LBS fam has been getting down every week for years with this bumpin’ party that has tried-and-true get-your-ass-in-gear potential, free. W t < P @ Time w/Ben Arsenal,

More on:

citypaper.net ✚ SEND DJ NIGHT TIPS AND LISTINGS TO G A I R 7 9 @ C I T Y P A P E R . N E T.

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PHOTO BY NEAL SANTOS

125 S. Second St., 215-351-9026

Q TROUBLE AND BASS 1 b O @

Q SNACKS W O t y ! @ Voyeur w/ Simian Mobile Disco, Dave P, Adam Sparkles and Thomzilla. A hyper-rad musical party experience from the creators of Making Time, $10.

Rock/Pop Techno Top 40/ Hip-hop/ R&B Trance World

y ! >

1 b < @ Torrent Collective w/ Dubsmith, Hi Tokyo Sound and John Morrison. This little shindig is going down as part of the second-annual Rockers BBQ weekend, at the up-and-coming artist and performance space Torrent Collective. Local underground DJs will drop massive tunes all night to keep the vibes lively. There will also be a live drummer and horn section playing alongside the turntablists, for maximum variety and improvisation. Expect to hear lots of styles of dub, reggae and more included in the soundtrack of this blazing summer night. $5.

ADOP

ME

BRUCE!

T

7-8 MONTHS OLD, PIT BULL/LAB MIX

Everybody needs a place to rest; everybody wants to have a home...especially me! I’m Bruce, a cute pit bull/lab mix who was found as a stray. I’m 7-8 months old and will be about 45 pounds when I’m fully grown. I’m very trainable and will do a great job learning my manners. I’m super playful and exuberant, so I’d do best in a home without cats or very little kids. I’ll keep searching til I find my special one, ‘cause two hearts are better than one!

Located on the corner of 2nd and Arch.

All PAWS animals are spayed/neutered, vaccinated, and microchipped before adoption. For more information, call 215-238-9901 ext. 30 or email adoptions@phillypaws.org

queerbait Josh Middleton on the LGBTQ scene

food | classifieds

When approaching his 30th year, it’s only natural for a fellow to reflect on how far he’s come. “My first musical memory,” says Philly singer-songwriter Aiden James, “is being 4 or 5 years old and trying to play Richard Marx’s ‘I’ll be Right Here Waiting for You’ on my Casio Muppet Babies keyboard.” But 25 years and several muscles later, the dedicated musician can boast playing 11 big-boy instruments, many of which (yes, even the ukulele) appear on his latest album, Trouble With This. When it was self-released in January, Trouble reached No. 28 on iTunes’ Top 100 Singer-Songwriter chart, which, the out-and-proud artist says, was especially validating considering he had control of every aspect of its creation — from writing and producing to the conceptualization and design of the album’s Philly-skyline-splashed cover art. Based in folk and Americana, the work has an undeniably country-tinged twee sound — imagine Taylor Swift if she wooed her way into the body of a young, strapping bear daddy. On his first single, the infectious “Best Shot,” he sings giddily about “finding love in the Big Apple,” and “Lullaby” is a precious little tune in which he begs his boyfriend to sing him off to sleep. To celebrate his big 3-0, he’s dropping a cover of his birthday twin Whitney Houston’s “I Wanna Dance With Somebody,” which, he told us exclusively, will appear on his upcoming EP compilation of diva covers, Girl Songs. He’s also performing a birthday-weekend show at his “favorite hometown venue,” Tin Angel, where, he says, guests can feel free to “bring me a boyfriend and a cupcake.” Fri., Aug. 10, 7:30 p.m., $15, Tin Angel, 20 S. Second St., 215928-0978, tinangel.com, aidenjamesmusic.com. (josh.middleton@citypaper.net)

the agenda

³ BIRTHDAY BOY

the naked city | feature | a&e

[ the agenda ]

Have an upcoming LGBTQ event? Give it here. E-mail listings@citypaper.net.

—K. Ross Hoffman Tue., Aug. 7, 8 p.m., $8-$10, World Café Live, 3025 Walnut St., 215-222-1400, worldcafelive.com.

spawn such sweet, smart side projects. Best known as a fierce producer/rapper/DJ, Syd tha Kyd turns out to have a warm, soulful voice built for trip-hop. While she’s handling the high notes, producer Matt Martian lays down blankets of snippy beats and electronic minigrooves. Perhaps The Internet is the real future. —Patrick Rapa

[ trip-hop/soul ]

✚ THE INTERNET BRICK STOWELL

Frank Ocean, The Internet — funny how the Odd Future

Tue., Aug. 7; 7:30 p.m., $13, with Kilo Kish, The Barbary, 951 Frankford Ave., 866-468-7619, r5productions.com.

WEDNESDAY

8.8 [ rock/pop/r&b ]

✚ AVA LUNA Stitching together a rag-bag

39

crew as a whole comes off like a pack of ignorant bullies but can

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featuring sokou (folk violin), calabash and a second guitarist, and shows considerably more versatility and rhythmic energy, but it’s every bit as enchantingly homely and heartfelt.

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THURSDAY 8.2 MO $$ NO PROBLEMS ----------------------------------------FRIDAY 8.3 HOT MESS SKINNY FRIEDMAN DJ APT ONE ----------------------------------------SATURDAY 8.4 DJ DEEJAY ----------------------------------------SUNDAY 8.5 SUNDAE PM LEE JONES & DJ DIRTY

----------------------------------------MONDAY 8.6 LEVEE DRIVERS MAT BURKE ROB LATELY CORPORATE HEARTS CHELSEA MITCHELL ----------------------------------------TUESDAY 8.7 DRAW STRAWS

GRO

UP THERAPY BAR

YACHT ROCK BINGO!

THURSDAY, AUGUST 2ND, 9PM WITH GREAT LAKES BREWERY! FORMAL ATTIRE ENCOURAGED

ED BLAMMO, REED STREETS DJ SKIPMODE, DANOPHONIC

----------------------------------------WEDNESDAY 8.8 DEATHWALTZ PRESENTS: FLOTE MICHAEL COHEN

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www.silkcityphilly.com 5th & Spring Garden

DOWNSTAIRS

ON THE CORNER OF

9TH & CHRISTIAN

12-STEPS-DOWN.COM INFO@12-STEPS-DOWN

215.238.0379

Show Us Your Philly. Submit snapshots of the City of Brotherly Love, however you see it, at:

citypaper.net/ photostream

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CHARLES STUCKLEN

classifieds | food

the agenda

a&e | feature | the naked city

of mismatched musical scraps similar to their fellow Brooklynites Dirty Projectors and TV on the Radio — ’90s radio R&B, fragmentary art-rock, girl-group doo-wop, stiff-limbed no-wave funk — but coming up with a whole different sort of quilt, screwball septet Ava Luna spend the eight tracks

[ the agenda ]

bewildering, compelling stuff, a twitchy, unruly noisefield shot through with honeyed crooning and dense patches of groove, and laced up with the halfcornball, half-unhinged, wholly sincere soulman stylings of frontman Carlos Hernandez. —K. Ross Hoffman Wed., Aug. 8, 9 p.m., $10, with Banned Books and Auctioneer, Johnny Brenda’s, 1201 N. Frankford Ave., 215739-9684, johnnybrendas.com.

and just over half an hour of their fairly blindsiding debut LP Ice Level (Infinite Best) endeavoring to derail just about any expectations you might have considered developing. Spazz-out synth-soul? Purple punk-prog? It’s bracing,

More on:

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$2 TACOS EVERY SUNDAY

FROM 7-MIDNIGHT!

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Corner of 10th and Watkins . 1712 South 10th 215-339-0175 . Facebook.com/watkinsdrinkery

foodanddrink

misenplace By Emily Kovach

classifieds

BURGER 101: Sirloin, relish and American on a potato bun. Simplicity rules the burger game at Morgan’s Pier. NEAL SANTOS

[ review ]

ON THE WATERFRONT Morgan’s Pier could be a contender for a river revival. By Adam Erace MORGAN’S PIER | 221 N. Columbus Blvd., 215-279-7134, morganspier.

com. Open Mon.-Fri., 4 p.m.-2 a.m.; Sat.-Sun., noon-2 a.m. Appetizers, $3$9; sandwiches and tacos, $5-$9.50; desserts, $4-$5.

I

f people went to your house for a barbecue, what would you make? This was the question Avram Hornik, partner in nightlife firm Four Corners Management, posed to David Katz, chef and owner of acclaimed (and recently shuttered) BYOB Mémé, one day at a birthday party at the Philly Kids Gym. More on: “Our kids go to school together,” Katz says. (Go ahead and melt, ladies.) “Avram mentioned what he was doing over here. I told him if he felt like doing something a little different with the food, that I could help him out.” “Over here” is Morgan’s Pier, a sun-baked river deck furnished with vintage lawn chairs, turquoise and lime umbrellas, picnic tables and rustling linden trees under the shadow of the Ben Franklin Bridge. “Over here” is the grave of the short-lived Octo and longer-lived, but equally uncool, Rock Lobster. “Over here” is Delaware frigging Avenue, a place where no one goes. Since Morgan’s Pier opened in May, that last one has changed.

citypaper.net

Not only do people go, but if the crowds were any indication when I checked it out, it’s the summer 2012 destination. From gurgling newborns to kulats-wearing grandmas, Elkins Park to Packer Park, Morgan’s Pier attracts a wider cross section of the city than a Phillies game. Old, young. White, black. Lawyers and nurses and students and plumbers. All sipping cans of Oskar Blues, St. Germain-laced sangria or the Watermelon Rickey, a hypnotic heatbeater of 21st Amendment Hell or High Watermelon beer, muddled lemon and watermelon syrup. All enjoying their city — a city that, let’s face it, is not the most enjoyable place on earth in the dead of July and August. This is Hornik’s humidity-soaked miracle. But Katz’s place in the kitchen is what makes it interesting to food journos like me. Four Corners establishments (Union Transfer, Ortlieb’s) have never paid food too much mind, so Katz’s involvement marks a shift in the MORE FOOD AND FCM paradigm — and earns Morgan’s DRINK COVERAGE some elusive foodie street cred. So does AT C I T Y P A P E R . N E T / the Little Baby’s ice cream cart scooping M E A LT I C K E T. cones of Earl Grey Sriracha and Bourbon Bourbon Vanilla, and the Federal Donuts served at brunch. Katz has recruited his chef buddies for collabo-cookouts, too. Terence Feury kicked it off with grilled prawns and shellfish bakes in July. Kevin Sbraga comes this month for a Brazilian-style barbecue, and September sees Mike Solomonov armed with quivers of Israeli kebabs. The other 29 or 30 days of the month, Joe Lakavage, a longtime friend and colleague of Katz, handles Morgan’s kitchen. The two >>> continued on page 44

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³ THE ATMOSPHERE AT Green Street Roasting Company’s new spot (1919 Alter St., 610-637-9237, greenstreetcoffee.com) is one of buzzy, fine-tuned energy. Chris Molieri, half of the sibling duo behind the company, hovers around the cherry-red roaster that anchors the space. Tumbling inside is a batch of El Salvadorian Finca Santa Elena. The propane flames in the roaster’s chrome belly work steadily, and the coffee beans, pea green just moments before, darken. A flip of a lever causes a torrent of fragrant, steaming beans to spill out. Leaning over and inhaling the pungent sweetness, Chris reaches in and snatches out a dozen underdone beans. Just a few feet away, his brother Tom wields a circular saw, building the bar that will serve as the cupping area. The bar’s surface is crowded with a three-port espresso machine, a Chemex, air pots and piles of coffee-related literature. In this little sliver of industrial space, the intuition of artistry, the geekiness of science and a gutsy DIY spirit collide. The brothers are constantly tweaking the process, trying, touching, tasting, getting tweaked on a steady stream of caffeine. And no shocker here: These dudes are getting stuff done. The Molieri brothers are affable Philly boys in their late 20s, as comfortable in business meetings as they are cozied up to the bar with a cold one. They bust balls and crack jokes, but their mutual affection and bond is evident. After a stint in Portland, Ore., Chris convinced Tom, fresh out of AmeriCorps, that Philadelphia was lacking a niche coffee-roasting operation. “We might not be as weird a city as Portland or San Francisco,” Chris muses, “but there’s no reason we can’t be just as serious about coffee.” Green Street has experienced rapid growth over its first year, and a recent move from their former HQ at Broad and Girard will afford them yet more room to expand. They count among their customers a number of cafes and restaurants (Farmacia, Flying Saucer, Rocket Cat, Miss Rachel’s Pantry) and retail locations (Mariposa and Weaver’s Way co-ops, Whole Foods). “Responsibility” is a word that comes up again and again. The brothers talk extensively about how important it is to them to be involved with the local community and to source their beans in a way that lends integrity to everyone along the supply chain. Over cups of the just-roasted Finca, they wax romantic, touting the noticeable difference in the flavor of coffee grown by people who are happy and proud of their labor. It took passion to bring this coffee from a farm in Central American to Philadelphia, and you can taste it. (editorial@citypaper.net)

food

ROAST TO HOME

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✚ On the Waterfront <<< continued from page 43

The Morgan’s Pier burger is born of the opinionated Katz’s rigid burger doctrine.

food

FROM THE

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Eat or drink anything good this weekend? We want to hear about it!

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MIMOSAS

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worked together in Squaw Valley and LBI, where Katz was his sous chef, and share a mentor in Nola chef Corbin Evans, whose Philly restaurant Lillies on 12th gave Katz his first culinary gig in 1997. While developing Morgan’s menu, Katz considered Hornik’s directive: “If people went to your house for a barbecue, what would you make?� To start, he’d make burgers. Veil them in good oldfashioned orange American cheese and tuck them into soft-as-earmuffs Martin’s potato buns. With the sole flourish of relish, this is the Morgan’s Pier burger, born of the opinionated Katz’s rigid burger doctrine: thin, West Coast-style 5-ounce sirloin patty, minimal ornamentation and a bun that is decidedly not made of brioche. The only concession he makes is to grill the patties, in keeping with the backyard-barbecue theme; truth be told, he’d prefer the flat top. No matter. Not to player-hate on the beefier, gussied-up specimens around town, but my juicy, pink-centered double cheeseburger at Morgan’s Pier delivered a primal, straightforward satisfaction that think-ier versions just can’t convey. Burgers come with a slice of (under-ripe) watermelon, a cup of cole slaw and fries, slender and salty, decent considering they’re from the freezer. At Casa de Katz, they’d most certainly be fresh-cut, but volume and logistics conspire against that here. Thumbs down, volume and logistics. Feel free to pick at them, but you won’t be missing out if you save your appetite for the other items; you’ll need it, as most are fried. That’s my chief criticism of the Morgan’s menu. It’s designed for speed and affordability, and the deep fryer is one of the quickest and cheapest ways to cook something. Of three starters I tried, three were fried: Vietnamesestyle salt ’n’ pepper squid with a sweet-and-sour chililime dip (crispy!); ripe, red, double-breaded Jersey tomatoes dabbed with horseradish sour cream (crunchy!); and chicken wings slathered in tangy, fiery pineapple-ancho sauce (strangely rubbery!). After the baskets of appetizers had come and gone, sauce-splattered wax paper the only remnant of their presence, I found myself wishing I’d shown some restraint and swapped out just one for the watermelonand-feta salad. Fortunately, the vinegary Carolina-style pulled-pork sandwich that followed cleaned out my palate like a power washer, leaving just enough room to brave the crowds around the Little Baby’s cart for a cone of Balsamic Banana. The last time there was this much hubbub around Penn’s Landing, Penn was landing. Forget bucolic urban greenways and burying I-95; the revival of the Delaware waterfront is happening now, one big backyard barbecue at a time. (adam.erace@citypaper.net)

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monday

food | the agenda | a&e | feature | the naked city classifieds

[ i love you, i hate you ] ALL THAT DICK I know that your son means alot to you but he means alot to me also...he is my lover, my best friend, my everything. You need to stop acting like he is so fucking innocent in certain situations. I understand what you are going thru that you are a lonely fat person but you need to cut the apron strings and let him be a man. If not Our relationship is not going to last and it will be your fault! Stay away fatty-bear stay far away!

pierced with the smallest, cutest thing I’ve ever seen-besides you. I was behind you in the self check line and we looked at each other at least 5 times. I don’t know why I didn’t talk to you. I’ll blame it on the heat. I haven’t been able to get you off my mind one minute since then, I even came back to look for you-but you were gone. I would never miss that chance again. How can I find you now? Next week-same place, same time? Or write back here? I certainly am desperately seeking you beautiful.

BACK OFF!

I AM TIRED OF YOU!

Hey bitch...everytime I turn around you are running to your son telling him that I did something he doesn’t fucking own me and neither do you! I am a grown fucking woman what makes you think that I have time to lie to you and anyone else. I have nothing to hide from you, and how fucking dare you question me! I thought we went over that before...I don’t like all the questions nor should I have to be subject to all the questions. Do me a favor and stay out of my way because your son and me are going to be together if you like it or not..

Things have definitetly changed you get on my fuck-

NASTY BITCH You fat disgusting bitch you remind me of one of the old ass fucking street walkers you look like shit then you had the nerve to call and tell me that your pussy is sore and you have yet another fucking infection! How about not fucking so many dudes! The shit makes me nervous. Then you have the nerve to wanna come around my house to help with things. I wouldn’t want you to come over there for nothing. You hear me nothing. I dammed sure don’t want you sitting on my couch and not touching my child please you will never see my child. Have your own fucking baby low life fucking dirt bag bitch!

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YOU NEED A LIFE! You walk around complaining over and over again! Do you fucking think ANYONE wants to hear the bullshit! Nobody wants to hear that shit especially not me...you make enough money to do what to have to do...on the other hand I don’t so you complaining to me is totally a waste of fucking time! Find someone else to dwell in your misery because I had enough...didn’t you realize that when you were talking to me and I zoned out and asked you..what the fuck does that have to do with me! I could care less please talk shit to someone that wants to hear it because I don’t wanna hear it!

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Just because we have small fights doesn’t mean that our relationship is not going to last...I love you baby so much it doesn’t make any sense. I look forward to our future together and I look forward to just being your wife one day if we are going to make it that far. I want you to make love to me on the beach...on the porch...on the steps...everywhere...I just love you and we deserve each other... never think that we don’t...I wanna grow old with you! I can’t wait to see you!

Walk around everyday snubbing people that you feel are less equal to you, truth is you need to look at yourself in the mirror and rethink your life, behind all the UV rays, tanning lotion, makeup and weave you are a loser, judging people because of the neighborhod in Philadelphia that they live in. Philadelphia all the way around the board is just a plain dirty city, so if you think for a moment that where you live at in South Philadelphia is cleaner than North Philadelphia or because you pay $1,300.00 a month for rent they are still going to come into your house, eat your food and scare your child, so get the fuck over it or move the fuck out. Not only that but you are a renter not a fucking home owner. Too the loser bitches in Philadelphia that don’t have jobs and chase dick around all day while your little grubby children run the streets with dirty clothes...get a fucking life, get a fucking job clean your fucking house. I am tired of smelling your children’s piss while you sit on the steps with your door fucking open acting like your the shit, and why the fuck does your 13 year old child wear fucking diapers? Because you are too fucking busy chasing dick around. People get a fucking life seriously!!! Your friendly Philadelphian

HEY THERE BEAUTIFUL

TO THE SEXY ASS

WE WILL MAKE IT

DEAR BOUGIE BITCHES IN PHILADELPHIA

You there who goes by uncommon initials with your radio obsession. You think you mean what you say and say what you mean, but all you can do is lie about intentions and what really happened. You have hampered my dignity like the socially awkward penguin that you are. You play woe is me as if I intentionally pissed on a burned bridge. However, you created the burned bridge. You know you lost a good friend, but you still bitch about it to other people who don’t want to or need to hear it and online where people don’t even know what you’re talking about half of the time. Grow the hell up @$$h0!e. Maybe if you fess up properly, we can rebuild. You’ve broken the trust so much things will never be quite the same. -ChessMaster

he is good to you! What did I tell you before! He is my man and you are my lover. Lover to a certain degree, you eat my pussy and then go about your business. Let’s not mess this relationship up! See ya!

ing nerves. I can’t stand you at all you keep telling me one thing and doing another. I can’t stand your fucking ass! I wish that you would just handle your business and stop fucking bothering me! You seem like you will never catch up! Please become someone else’s problem because I am finished with you!

IT’S A NEW ME! I feel elated after my departure from the place and I can’t wait until I really feel comfortable at really just letting my hair down and relaxing. To the one’s that I have helped out! You owe me nothing but best believe that I am not going to look out for you again. Your fucking cup runneath the fuck over and as my title indicated it is a new me...no more fucking favors...time to treat bitches like bitches.

SKINNY TRASH You piece of shit...someone should punch you in your face and just keep punching and punching until your bitch ass is the fuck unconscious. I hate you so much I wish that you were dead...I never thought that I would wish that shit on anyone... how fucking dare you do what you did...I think as a matter of fact I know that you are a fucking coward! Why would you do that shit!

I know you can hear them goddamn mutts!! You know how I know? Cuz my windows are shut, the AC is on, my TV is at volume 20 and I can still hear your god-dang mutts in your yard! So if I can hear them YOU can hear them! And it’s not like they are barking for 5 minutes before you let them in they are barking for a god-dang 1/2 hour before you let them in! And if YOU can’t stand your god-dang barking dogs how the hell do you think I feel about them?! I don’t have a dog and I don’t want a dog and I certainly don’t want to hear YOUR dogs! So let them go outside for 2 minutes and then let them back inside before I buy a bee-bee gun and have at it on your dogs!

THE PUSSY EATER Yeah you a fucking freak but I got a man...don’t you remember when you came over my house and I was ending the phone call saying “I love you” you looked at me and said something like I hope that

✚ To place your FREE ad (100-word limit), go to citypaper.net and click on the LOVE/HATE tab near the top of the page. ADS ALSO APPEAR AT CITYPAPER.NET/lovehate. City Paper has the right to re-publish “I Love You, I Hate You”™ ads at the publisher’s discretion. This includes re-purposing the ads for online publication, or for any other ancillary publishing projects.

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A petition has been presented to said court by Adoption Resource Associates, CAMBRIDGE, MA 02140 representing that the parent(s) of the child lack(s) current ability, capacity, fitness and readiness to assume parental responsibility for the child; that the petitioner’s plan for the child will serve the child’s best interests; and, requesting that this Honorable Court enter a decree under the provisions of the General Laws of Massachusetts, Chapter 210, Section 3, that shall have the effect of terminating the rights of the person(s) named herein to receive notice of or to consent to any legal proceeding affecting the custody, guardianship, adoption or other disposition of the child named herein.

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market place

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everything pets

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54 | P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R |

A U G U S T 2 - A U G U S T 8 , 2 0 1 2 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T

American Pit Bull Xtra Lg Pups & Adults UKC, Ch. bldline. Start @ $800 Call Mike 215-407-9458; www.blueprintbullies.com Boston Terrier Pups, ACA, vet checked, beautiful, $775. Call 610-286-9076 Caucasian Sheepdog Central Asian Shepherd-For the big dog lover, loyal, protective, family dog, m/f pups available, $900 lisa5701@gmail.com, 410-493-1158 Cavalier Puppies - (215) 538-2179 www.willowspringcavaliers.com Chihuahua Adorable AKC Longcoat Family raised 2 Males $750. 610-855-8390 COCKER SPANIEL PUPS AKC, all colors, From $495-$595. Call 717-442-9493

Cocker Spaniel Pups, pick your own with deposit, $600. 610-273-9354 COLLIES: AKC, excellent quality, normal eyes, 3 colors, (856)825-4856

Doberman Pups AKC, black/rust & red/ rust, males & females, s/w, 717-808-3632 English Bulldog AKC, 3 males, 4 females, 267-664-1841, jazzsbulldogs.com, $1500 English Bulldog Pups, AKC, champ, red & white, M $1800, F $2200. 717-442-9493 French Bulldog Adorable Puppies $1600 631-696-5183 German Shepherd Dog Beautiful, Intelligent, AKC Puppies $650. (717)278-7937 German Shepherd Pups - AKC. lg boned, champ pedigree. 1M, 7F, 609-351-3205 German Shep Pups, Euro Blood, pa rents imported, AKC. $950. 856-745-3180

merchandise market

GOLDEN Retriever PUPS, AKC, parents on prem., sire hip, heart, eye cert. family raised, 10 weeks $450 (610)593-6912

CABINETS SOLID MAPLE Brand new soft close/dovetail. Fits 10’x10’ kitchen. More cabinets if needed. Cost $6,400. Sell $1,595. 610-952-0033

Golden Retriever Pups - AKC, shots and wormed, vet checked, ready July 29th, $600/each. Call 717-442-8308

Designer Pool Table, Bar w/5 Stools, 3 piece Sectional Sofa 215-927-2561

Havanese/Bichon pups, 8wks, m/f, Nonshed, shots $500. Must see. 610-742-2159 Lab Puppies AKC 1st shot & wormed. $700. 609-932-6574 LAB PUPS 100% GUAR. READY NOW, MUST COME SEE!!! 215-768-4344

Diabetic Test Strips needed pay up to $15/box. Most brands. Call 610-453-2525

L abrador Retriever Pups, AKC, OFA, CERF, Top Quality English CH lines, Reduced to $575 (from $800) due to move, Ready 8/9, 607-329-9798, sassyslabs.com $575 MALTIPOO PUPS, 10 wks, vet check, S /W 3 males 215-292-6352 no texts, call only Old English Bulldog Pups - 12 weeks, CKC, $1,100. Call 484-266-8488 PEMBROKE WELSH CORGI PUPPIES Raised in home. Call 215-559-4377 Pomerians 2 males, 16 weeks, champ ped., real cute, $800. 717-939-3636

Poodle Pup: Standard, black, 13 week male, home raised, $400. 610-489-3781 Pug Puppies, shots, dewormed, health gaurantee, $500. Call 302-423-3592 Pug pups, farm/family raised, $400. vet checked, Call (717)786-2521

Rottweiler mix pups, cute, ready 7/23, shots & wormed, $240. (610)273-2593 YORKIE/BISCHON PUPS AKC registered. family raised, used to kids. 717-419-6698 Yorkie Mix, M&F, vet check, S/W, health guarantee $425/negotiable. also hairless Yorkies $175. Call (856) 563-0351 YORKIE pup - 15 weeks, beautiful male, all shots & rabie. $850. 215-824-3541

RARE & VINTAGE SHEET MUSIC & Rare & Vintage Books of all types. For items lists email: kcmd104@ptd.net

BD a Memory Foam Mattress/BoxsprIng Brand New Queen cost $1400, sell $299; King cost $1700 sell $399. 610-952-0033 Fridge - Samsung French doors, black, 4 years old. $950. Maytag Washer/Dryer, front loading, white, $850. 215-316-0459

Free Kittens & Cats healthy, 8wks-2yrs, vet references, Call 215-985-0567

Get better matches to your job opportunities with unprecedented efficiency.

2012 Hot Tub/Spa. Brand New! 6 person w/lounger, Cover. Factory warranty. Never installed! Beautiful. Cost $6,000. Ask $2,500. Will deliver. 610-952-0033

3 Great Eagles SBL seats, 8 reg. season tix, Sec 116, row 24, seats 1, 2 & 3, priced for quick sale $4,950. (570)735-4760

Eagles SEASON Tickets: (4) seats, Sec. 117 Row 6, great seats! 610-358-3115

33&45 RECORDS HIGHER $ REALLY PAID

** Bob 610-532-9408 ***

33 & 45 Records Absolute Higher $

* * * 215-200-0902 * * *

Receptionist/Assistant

SALES PROFESSIONAL

Apply in person, Part Time/Full Time.

Burman’s Specialty Pharmacy a leader in the Philly region for patient care related to HCV, hemophilia and IVIG is looking for a sales professional to sell IVIG services. You must have sale experience calling on physicians within at least one of the following disciplines: Immunology or Neurology. The ideal candidate will have IVIG sales with a proven track record. We offer an excellent salary and benefits package. Please send resumes to hr@burmansglobal.com or by mail to P.O. Box 355, Unionville, PA 19375

4829 Leiper St., Phila. 19124

Montessori EC Teacher Montessori certification required. Call 610-649-3636

Brookhaven, PA

CREDIT / COLLECTION SPRVR.

Coins, Currency, Gold, Toys,

Trains, Hummels, Sports Cards. Call the Local Higher Buyer, 7 Dys/Wk

Dr. Sonnheim, 856-981-3397

I Buy Anything Old...Except People! antiques-collectables, Al 215-698-0787

BIKER: Leathers and accessories, chaps $99, free hem, custom apparel, repairs, zippers, shortening, relining, over 50 years experience, Penn Leather, 58 N Londonderry Shopping Center, Rt 422. Palmyra, PA next to Lowe’s 717-838-6162 www.PennLeather.com

personals

JUNK CARS WANTED We buy Junk Cars. Up to $300 215-888-8662 Lionel/Am Flyer/Trains/Hot Whls $$$$ Aurora TJet/AFX Toy Cars 215-396-1903

Show your business FREE on our Primetime TV show 215-548-5894

apartment marketplace 22xx Snyder Ave. 2BR 2nd flr, credit check 610.659.2452 9-5pm

To learn more or to find the right person for your job, visit your local partner at philly.com/monster

512 N. 54th St. 2BR $650/mo + elec. new crpt., all electric 267-709-2704 59xx Nassau Rd 1BR $550/mo newly renov., 1st/last/sec 267-259-7930

10xx S. 52nd St. Lrg 3BR Laundry room, section 8 ok. 215-727-0431 20xx S. Salford 1Br $500 renov, W/D hkup, Sec 8 OK 267.230.2600

800 Wynnewood Rd 2Br $750+utils 2rd flr, spacious, high ceilings, clean,hdwd flrs, view of city skyline 215.882.3084

Various Studio, 1 & 2br Apts $650-$895 www.perutoproperties.com 215.740.4900

23xx S. 72nd 1BR $500+utils close to shopping/schools 267-738-0834

Balwynne Park 2br $820+ 1st flr, w/d, garage, C/A. 610-649-3836

1BR Apt Available $600/month $1800 move in, nwly renov,215-284-7944

18xx Venango 2BR $650+utils also 1BR & efficiency avail 267-339-1662

40th & Cambridge 2br $585/mo. free heat, Call or text Scott 215-222-2435

2521 W. Lehigh Ave. 1BR Call (856) 262-0870

5104 Haverford Ave. 1BR,1BA $500 1st flr rear, backyard, N/S. 215-435-1942

5945 N. 13th St. 3BR $650+util 215-288-2888 or 215-224-8158

51st & Parkside Ave. 1BR $650/mo. at Park, $1300 move in. 215-219-1715

1,2, 3, 4 Bedroom FURNISHED APTS LAUNDRY-PARKING 215-223-7000

52nd & Parkside 2br $600+ utils 3rd floor, $1200 move in, also studio available at $500. 215-284-7944

12xx W Allegheny effic. $425 Newly renovated, Call 215-221-6542

52xx Spruce St. 1br $600 quiet block, Call Jeff 215-805-3823 53rd & Westminister 1 BR $600 + utils New renov, $1200 move-in. 215.476.5885 62nd & Vine (2) 1Br apts $650+utils duplex, newly renovated. 215-758-7572 N 61st 1BR $600 Heat & water incl, 2nd flr, $1200 move-in, Call in evening 610-259-5746

Montgomery County

Collections, New Account Approval, Analyze Credit Worthiness. MS Office and AS400 Knowledge preferred. 5 + Years Collection Experience. Requires Excellent Customer Service, Negotiation, and Communication Skills. Resume to kms241@hotmail.com

Books -Trains -Magazines -Toys Dolls - Model Kits 610-689-8476

WANTED: EAGLES SEASON TICKETS. Top $ paid. Call 800-786-8425

jobs

Main Line School

Golden Retriever beautiful, 9wks old, 2F & 2M, fam. raised, $650 (717)587-4724

PIANO Yamaha 42" console w/ bench, 5 yrs old, mahogany case, sacrifice $1850. 1 owner, free deliver 215-266-7273

4714 Warrington Ave 1Br $765 1st foolr bi-level, newly renov., W/D, hdwd floors, dishwasher. 215-939-8678

Powelton Lg 2br $950+utils lg closests, new renov, W/D215.694.9006

Temple Univ. Hosp Area Effic. all util. inc $535/mo $1000 move in 215-765-5578

48xx Hutchinson St.

1BR $560 2BR $620 Meticulously renovated. Call James at 215-455-5843

11xx Grange Ave 1br $650 inc heat spacious, renovated, ceiling fans, hdwd flrs, ldry, a/c, First/Last sec. 215.356.3282

5846 N. Marvine 1br $600+utils renovated, close to trans (215)480-6460 5xx Allengrove St. 2Br $695+utils new renov, nr transp & shop 610.457.2710

60XX Warnock 1 BR $595+ near Fernrock Train Station,215-276-8534

Broad & Hunting Park 2br $675+utils 3rd flr, close to Temple U (215) 559-5039

1 BR & 2 BR Apts $725-$835 spacious, great loc., upgraded, heat incl, PHA vouchers accepted 215-966-9371 5214 Wayne Ave Germantown 1BR- $545 1st fl & 2BR-$745 lg rooms wtr incl. 10% off 1st mo. rent 215-913-2789 53xx Greene St. 1BR/2BR $675/mo. (Greene St. and Penn St.) Conv. transp., tastefully renov., mirrored closet in MBR, hdwd flrs., bonus rm., oak cabs in kitch., micro., ceiling fans, tile BA with claw foot tub. Call 215-242-1204 or 267-250-9822 6035 GERMANTOWN AVE 1BR $585 Open House Sat. 10-12. 215-571-9314 HaveANewHome.com Wayne & Manheim St. 3BR/1BA $735+ Large, 1st floor. Call 215-783-4736

16xx E Gowen 1BR $670+utils Fridge, clean, quiet block. (267) 784-8274 3xx E Upsal St. 2 BR $740+ utils new renov, $1500 move-in 610.675.7586 67xx Blakemore St. 1BR $700 1st floor. Call 267-255-1895 8139 Williams Ave East Mt Airy Triplex 2 bedroom apartment on 1st floor. Recently renovated and has hardwood flooring. Rent $800/month plus gas and electric. Near public transport and malls. Call Roger 267-496-6323 Cedarbrook & Vernon Rd 2br $775+utils new wall/wall carpet, ceiling fans, garage, laundry facilities, Call (215)836-7471 W. Cheltenham 3Br/1Ba $925+utils 1800 sq. ft., din rm, liv rm, no basement, 2 car off st. parking. 215-345-1385

Pottstown 2BR/ 1BA $750 new cpt,W/D in unit,Caitlan 917.406.2868

Roslyn 2br/1.5 ba $900+util. Living room, eat in kitchen, wall to wall carpet, dishwasher, refrigerator, garbage disposal, w/d, central air, gas heat, small patio, private parking, no pets. Available 9/1/12. Call 215-643-0325.

RIVERTON 1br-2br apts $950-$1,000 some include heat, 1 block to Riverline & 2 blocks to Delaware River. 856-952-2333

Cherry Hill Studio $985 utils included, private deck 856-397-0674

11xx N. 55TH ST. $100 SPECIAL MOVEIN TO THOSE WHO QUALIFY! CALL FOR DETAILS! CALL 267-707-6129 21st & Erie, large room, new renov., wall/wall, furn. $100/wk. 215-570-0301 2435 W. Jefferson St. Rooms: $375/mo, Move in fee: $565. Call 215-913-8659 25th & Clearfield, 15th & Federal, 58th & Haverford, Castor & Hunting Park. Share Kitch. & Bath, $350 & up, No sec dep, SSI OK. Call 215-758-7572 29th & Lehigh - Rooms for Rent Call 215-549-2111, between 9-9 33rd St. & Ridge Ave. $100-125/week. Large renovated furnished rooms near Fairmount Park & bus depot. 215-317-2708 38xx N. 15th: Lg furn rm, shared kit/ba, $105/wk, $300 sec, 267-809-7866 4508 N. Broad St. Rooms: $375/mo. Move in fee: $565. Call 215-913-8659

2020 E. Stella 4br/2ba $1100 newly remod., sec 8 ok. 267-235-6680

18xx Haworth 3br/2ba $850/mo New renovations, Section 8 ok. Close to Bridge & Pratt. Call 215-839-6468 19xx Berkshire St. 1BR $525+ $1,575 move in, credit check 215.203.4120 20xx Orthodox 1BR $600 renov, liv rm, EIK, Sec 8 OK 267.230.2600 41xx Orchard St. 1BR $475+utils references, no pets, 215-537-9860 42xx Frankford Efficiency $450/mo. 2nd flr, near transp, no pets 215.289.2973 Blvd. & Front St. 1br $580 LR, kitchen, no pets. Call 215-289-2973 Frankford & Oxford 1BR $600 Also Efficiency, $500, Utilities included We speak Spanish, 215-620-6261

A1 Nice, well maintained rms, N. & W. Phila. Starting @ $125/wk 610.667.9675 ALLEGHENY $90/wk. $270 sec dep Nr EL train, furn, quiet. 609-703-4266

FRANKFORD, Near El: furnished rooms $75/wk , 1 wk security & 1 wk rent. no drugs, no pets. Call 267-981-4472 Frankford, nice rm in apt, near bus & El, $300 sec, $90/wk & up. 215-526-1455 Germantown Area: NICE, Cozy Rooms Private entry, no drugs (267)988-5890 Germantown, Clean furn. rooms, some with private baths. Call Jeff 215-805-3823 GERMANTOWN: furn rooms everything inc. $425/mo,Seniors welc. 267.467.4595 Hunting Park: Furn. Luxury Rooms. Free utils, cable, A/C. Call 267-331-5382 Lansdowne Ave. room $450/mo utils inc., cable inc. N/S 484-469-0753 Mt Airy, 61xx Chew Ave, Univ City, 2xx Melville, $85-$125/wk, 215-242-9124 NICETOWN 38xx N. 19th St. large room with cable, $110/week. Call 215-225-5680

59xx Spring St, 3br/2ba + Study RM Renov $825+ s8 Welcome. 267-753-5403 6xx N. 55th St. 3BR renov, hdwd flrs, Sec 8OK 267-230-2600 W. PHILADELPHIA 3br $750 + utils. First, last & security, 215-718-5980

North Phila - Furn. rms & Norristown area rms. $100/wk. 484-636-8205 North Phila room for rent $100 a week call 267-549-4690 N. PHILA: Nice clean, 1st floor room $110/week. no drugs, Call 215-370-0967 Overbrook newly renov. home, 1br to rent, kit., w/d & utils inc, 215.879.2570 Penrose & SW Rooms: $75 & up SSI & Disability ok. (302)391-0490 SW,N, W Move-in Special! $90-$125/wk Clean furn. rooms. SSI ok. 215-220-8877 S.W. Phila $100-$125/week. Drug free, clean. $300 move in, Call 267-414-7805 SW Phila & Cobbs Creek, furn. rms. $95$150. 267-303-1720 pr 267-770-2786 SW Phila - Newly renov, close to trans. $100/wk 1st wk FREE, 267-628-7454 Temple Univ. Hosp Area Lge, pvt Kit & Bth. $135/wk $300 move in 215-416-6538 W. Germantown Rooms for rent starting at $425/mo, $100 security fee, easy move-in. Call Theresa (215) 740-0554 W. Phila Furn Rms, SS & Vets welcome, No drugs, $100/wk & up 267-586-6502 W. Phila: Rooms $90/week & Efficiency, Near trans. 215.317.5872 or 267.902.6748

homes for rent 13xx S. Stanley St. 2br/1ba yard, porch, conv. location., avail. now 267-574-4163 2117 Pierce St. 3BR/1BA TOTALLY RENOVATED! All electric! P.H.A voucher accepted. 267-701-7845 21xx Manton St 3br/1ba $825+utils newly remod., hwd flrs, new kit w/granite countertops, new bathroom (215)917.1091 21xx Sigal 3br $750 15xx Napa 3br $775 Section 8 OK. 267-230-2600

27xx S. Marshall 3br $850 newly renovated, porch, near shopping & schools, Section 8 ok, call 267-972-0022 31xx Dickinson 3BR $675 $2,025 move in fee req. 267-249-6645 9th & Moore vic. 3br desirable tree lined street, no pets, easy CC access, serious inquiries 215.551.8198

52nd & Kingsessing 3br/1.5ba SEC 8 OK fin bsmt, hw flrs 267.319.6272 Broad & Hunting Park FREE AUGUST ROOM RENT. $530-$575/mo. Need Sec. Dep. & Appl. Fee. Furnished ROOMS Cable TV, 24-7 security cameras, refrig, microwave. PROOF of INCOME REQUIRED. ROOMS are sized for ONE PERSON (1) ONLY. Call AL: 267-235-6555

56xx Thomas Ave 3BR $925 W/D, finished basement, 267-600-9569 Elmwood area 3-4BR $850+utils modern, Sec. 8 approved. 215-726-8817

75xx Malvern Ave 3BR $1,175 + utils bsmnt effic., W/D. Call 610-642-8809 75xx Sherwood Rd. 3br $1050 +utils. c/a, bsmnt, garage, call 610-284-5631

2758 N. Bonsall St 3 Bdrm, Sec 8 OK, Fridge, washer. Call 215-698-2122

14xx N. 12th St. $450-$500 House to share, W/D, C/A, Off-street parking, yard & more! Call 215-205-6025 30xx N. 16th St. Efficiencies 1BR-2BR Starting at $400/mo. 215-680-4275

2xx W Sheldon St 3br Row home $770 spacious, fin bsmt, bkyard (215)327-1789

39xx Delhi St 3Br/1Ba $750/mo porch, yard, please call 610-872-1797 44xx North 7th St. 3BR/1.5BA $775 Work history & ref. req. 570-234-6728

DARBY 3 br twin & 3br row $945+utils close to transp, Sec 8 ok. 610-529-3531 Darby New 3br/1.5ba $1100/mo. everything new, finished bsmt, backyrd, possible rent to own. 267-808-9792

King of Prussia 2br/2.5ba TH $1550+ut 278 Stone Ridge Dr. nwly renov., full bsmnt., deck, granite ctps. 267-374-8574 W. Norriton 2br/1.5ba Condo/Twnhouse $1200+elec. yard w/deck, c/a, w/d inc., access to pool, Call (610)639-6120

Corolla CE 2005 $8995 65k miles, all maintenance, records, new tires, excellent condition (267)884-5719 SIENNA XLE 2005 $10,500 AWD, leather, dark blue, 84,000 miles, Call (215) 880-5551

Chevy Cutaway Box 2007 Full power, A/C, original miles, lite commercial, well maintained, garage kept, corporate disposal. Call 215-629-0630 FORD F-350 XL Super Duty ’04 $18,000 62k miles, white, power stroke, V8 turbo diesel, good cond., loaded (215)788-3383 VOLVO 2006 Day Cab V12: 435 HP Volvo Eng., Mod. #VNL64T300. 10spd Eaton Trans, 166 inch W.B., Avg. 500k miles, $30k/obo Levittown, PA (515)266-6745

Voorhees 3BR/1BA Ranch $1,525+utils 1 car garage. Call (856) 753-7001

automotive

Cash paid on the spot for unwanted vehicles, 24/7 pick up, 215-288-9500

Junk Cars & Trucks Wanted, $400, Call 856-365-2021

DTS Luxury 4 door 2003 with sunroof, every extra, original miles, stainless steel wheels, sound system, impecable! quick sale TODAY $5975. 215-922-5342

JUNK CARS WANTED 24/7 REMOVAL. Call 267-377-3088

CLASSIC COUPE 1985 w/ removable glass top, full pwr, AC, 49K orig mi. matching #s, Best Offer! Call 215-922-6113

A1 PRICES FOR JUNK CARS FREE TOW ING , Call (215) 726-9053 HONDA PILOT EXL 2011 $31,800 mocha metallic, 12,800 mi, 610.287.1196

5700 Block Crittenden 3br $700+ 1st mo., last mo., 1 mo. sec. 267-975-6091

To learn more or to find the right person for your job, visit your local partner at philly.com/monster

S 430 2004 $12,900/obo loaded, 4matic, 100k mi, 215-237-0109

17xx 65th Ave. 3br row $950+utils Renov., ajpropertymgt.com. 215.805.2373 57xx N. Woodstock St 3BR/1BA, $1100+ util. By trans/stores., 1 mth sec & 1 mth rent, $30 appl, avail 9/1, 215-657-4617 E. Locust Ave off Chew 4br/2ba $900 2 blocks from Lasalle, near schools, all trans., shopping, church, viewing from 12-5pm. Sunday 7/29. (646)361-2249

Port Richmond 2BR/1BA $700 Freshly renov., Section 8 ok, rear yard. Call Tony (215) 681-8018 leave message. Port Richmond 5br/2.5ba $1250 across from park, Call 484-300-9699

low cost cars & trucks Buick Century 1996 $2,350 79k orig. mi., clean. Call 610-667-4829 Chevy Caprice Classic 1992 $1995 mint, 4 door, 113k, runs new 215.620.9383 Chevy Silverado ext cab 1992 $4,500 truck with bed encloser, well maintained, runs good, Call 484-412-8636 Dodge Grand Caravan Sport 2003 $2,695 172K, New Insp. Loaded. 484-876-1609 Dodge Spirit 1993 $1700 91k, insp., excellent, 610-667-4829

36xx Jasper St 2BR $675+utils newly renovated. Call 215-327-2292 Lee St. 2BR $585+utils fenced backyd, front porch 215-514-0653

Get better matches to your job opportunities with unprecedented efficiency.

Frankford 3br/2ba Sec 8 ok (215)322-6086 FRANKFORD 3br $950/mo + gas, elec, wtr, sec 8 ok. 215-633-0830

Wilmot St 3br/1ba $1050 w/d, fridge, yard, sec. 8 ok, 215-632-5763

46xx Edmund 4BR Sec 8 ok. Newly renovated, nice big backyard. Please call 267-455-3273 54xx Valley St. 3BR $850 75xx Torresdale 3BR Section 8 OK Call 267-230-2600 N/E Phila - 4004 Higbee St. $895/mo. J ust renovated 3BR, 1.5BA house on a nice block. Hardwood floors, upgraded bathroom and kitchen. Large dry semi-finished basement with laundry hookups. 1 car garage. Close to schools and transportation. Call for appointment. 215-947-6446

Ford Escort 1995 $995 Dodge Window Van 1992 $995 auto, cold ac, runs exc, 215-620-9383 Ford Taurus 1997 $1,450 4 door, loaded, clean, 215-518-8808 Mercury Villager LS 1996 $1,100 rns great, clean in&out, Insp 201.667.1318 Olds Aurora 4.0 2001 $2,850 clean, CD, new 17" rims, AC 267.592.0448 Plymouth Grand Voyagour LE 1990 $1,150 all pwrs, 3.3, insp, runs new 215.620.9383

YOU TOOK GREAT CARE IN HIRING HER. NOW SHE TAKES GREAT CARE OF HER PATIENTS.

To learn more or to find the right person for your job, visit your local partner at philly.com/monster

55

3324 Willits Rd 2BR/2BA $850 1st, last & security. 215-880-3116 35xx RYAN AVE 1br $700+ 1st flr, Cottman&Frankfd vic267.736.9862

49th & Haverford Newly renovated rooms, $100-$125. Use of house, no drugs. Call (484) 431-3670 53xx Girard Ave: Large clean rooms $100-$110/week. Call (215) 917-1091 53xx N. Broad St. Room & Efficiency fridge, 27" TV, AC. Call 267-496-6448 60xx Vine St, $115/wk, 2 week security, cable tv, Please Call Gee 267-767-4496

57xx Commerce St. 3br/1ba front porch, quiet block, ceiling fans, ceramic tile, sec 8 ok. 1-877-371-7368

Darby 3br/1ba $950+utils prch,yd,close shop & transp 610.696.2022

Sentra 2000 $5,500 41K orig, 1 owner, exc cond, svc records, 5 speed, AC, all power, CD. 215-397-4910

P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R | A U G U S T 2 - A U G U S T 8 , 2 0 1 2 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T |

17xx Conlyn 1br $650+elec 2nd floor of duplex, near subway, fresh paint, hdwd flrs, pvt ent. 215-370-6547 2000 Chelten Ave. Lg. Effic. $550 Close to transportation. (215) 549-8859 2xx W. Grange 3br/1.5ba $745+utils beautiful, priv ent., yard, 215-805-6455 2xx W Grange Ave. 1br $595+utils beautiful, priv. entrance, 215-805-6455

WARMINSTER Lg 1-2-3 BR Sect. 8 OK 1 MONTHS FREE RENT!!! HURRY!! Pets & smoking ok. We work with credit problems. Call for Details: 215-443-9500

C & Roosevelt Blvd. rm priv house, conv to shops, trans. & Temple Univ. $100/wk, $400 move-in. Call 856-217-2477

Wissonoming 52xx Burton St. 2br/1ba section 8 ok, Call 215-740-4629

classifieds

56xx W. Diamond St 1 BR $550+utils hdwd flrs, 2nd flr, exc loc. 609-315-2895

4821 Griscom St. 1BR $565+utils. $1,130 move-in. Call 267-255-6322 49xx Oxford Ave. 2BR $650 /mo. free w/d, 2nd flr. duplex. 215-744-8990 Academy & Grant 2BR $795+ 1st floor, renovated, C/A, off street parking. Please call 856-346-0747 Bustleton & Haldeman 2br Condo $895 prvt balcony w/garden view 215.943.0370 C & Blvd. 1 BR $600+ utils 1st, last & sec, w/d, N/S, 215-329-4793 Oxford Circle 1br $629+utils 2nd flr, fridge, carpets, call (215)681-7760 OXFORD CIRCLE 1BR on 3rd fl. $550 + utils. 267-312-7100

Near 61st & Elmwood lrg 3br $800+utils eat in kitchen, fenced yard. Avail now. Best Rental! "The Landlord that Cares" Tasha 267.584.5964, Mark 610.764.9739 Penrose 3BR $1350 deck, garage, yard, Call (302)437-6196

the naked city | feature | a&e | the agenda | food

apartment marketplace

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AUGUST 2 - AUGUST 8, 2012 CALL 215-735-8444

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12 Years of experience. Offering personal fitness training, nutrition counseling, and flexibility training. Specialize in osteoporosis, injuries, special needs. In home or at 12th Street Gym. MCKFitness@yahoo.com

STUDY GUITAR W/ THE BEST David Joel Guitar Studio All Styles All Levels. Former Berklee faculty member. Masters Degree with 27 yrs. teaching experience. 215.831.8640 www.myphillyguitarlessons.com

FREE DRINKING SMARTPHONE APP!!!

City Paper is very pleased to bring you our very first smartphone app! Just go to www.citypaper.net and click our martini glass icon to find out more, or type in ‘Happy Hours in the app store, android marketplace, or blackberry app world. Click the orange martini icon and get drinking. No matter where you go or when you go, you can find the nearest happy hours to you with a single click! You can even sort through bars by preference or neighborhood.

TEQUILA SUNRISE RECORDS

525 West Girard Ave VINYL AND CD SPECIALISTS CLASSIC & MODERN GLOBAL SOUNDS HOUSE TECHNO DUBSTEP DUB DISCO FUNK SOUL JAZZ DIY PUNK LSD ROCK AND LIGHT HARMONY ROOTS BLUES NOISE AVANT AND MORE TUESDAY-SUNDAY 12-6PM 01-215-965-9616

IS YOUR WIFE MAD AT YOU?

17 Rotating Drafts Close to 200 Bottles

www.devilsdenphilly.com www.facebook.com/devilsdenphiladelphia www.twitter.com/devilsdenphilly

200+ steel boned corsets in stock size S-8XL Rubber-Leather-KiltsMore by 26 designers. PASSIONAL Boutique 704 S. 5th St. Noon-10PM, 7 days a week www.passionalboutique.com

AWARD WINNING, WORLD FAMOUS CUSTOM STUDIO ARTISTIC TATTOOING!

Philadelphia Eddies 621 Tattoo Haven 621 South 4th St (Middle of Tattoo Row) 215-922-7384 Open 7 Days

COMING SOON! the ODDITTORIUM & BIZARRE BAZAAR @ the NEW/OLDE CURIOSITY SHOPPE!

Most Brands Accepted Pay up to $15 a Box CALL: 610-453-2525

Fashion Fetish?

I BUY RECORDS, CD’S, DVD’S

TOP PRICES PAID. No collection too small or large! We buy everything! Call Jon at 215-805-8001 or e-mail dingo15@hotmail.com

DIABETIC TEST STRIPS NEEDED

KENSINGTON HAPPY MEAL! EVERY DAY UNTIL 7PM 2 ALL BEEF HOT DOGS A PBR POUNDER A BAG OF CHIPS AND A TOY ALL FOR $5

WEEKDAYS 5-7PM

FREE PIZZA! $2 BEER OF THE WEEK! $2 WELL DRINKS! IT’S AMAZING! PASSYUNK AVE (7th & CARPENTER) 215-465-5505 myspace.com/thedivebar

YOU WON’T BELIEVE YOUR EYES! HISTORICAL & HYSTERICAL!!!

NEW AT THE EL BAR!!!

½ PRICED DRAFTS

HAPPY HOUR AT THE DIVE

WHAT’S ON DRAFT AT WATKIN’S DRINKERY?

NESHAMINY CREEK IPA 21st AMENDMENT WATERMELON WHEAT ROGUE MOCHA PORTER LANCASTER PILSNER MOM’S HEFEWEIZEN BROOKLYN SUMMER ALE Corner of 10th & Watkins! 215-339-0175

Sure she is, they all are. That’s because everything is your fault. Global warming, the trade deficit, the collapse of the American education system... It’s all falling apart because of you. And when you think about it, it is sorta your fault. Even if it isn’t, do you have the balls to tell her she’s wrong? We didn’t think so. Go buy her some flowers for gods sake. Because the world may be ending and you may as well try and get some before it’s all over (you won’t). Come visit us at Mayan Florists. We’ll overcharge you for flowers she probably won’t like and then you’ll get yelled at for spending too much money. Like we say here at Mayan Florist ‘You’re Screwed One Way Or Another’. visit us @ www.MAYANFLORIST.COM

HAPPY HOUR AT THE ABBAYE $2 OFF ALL DRAFTS $3 WELL DRINKS $5 HAPPY HOUR MENU Only at the Abbaye 637 N. 3rd Street (215) 627-6711 www.THEABBAYE.net

7&3: (00% “..#&&3 -*45 )"4 (308/ 50 &1*$ 1301035*0/4 ,*5$)&/ )"4 "%%&% "/ &953" #&-- 8*5) 1&3)"14 5)& $*5:Âľ4 #&45 '3*5&4 40.& 45&--"3 #&&3 #"55&3&% '*4) "/% 7&3: (00% .644&-4Âł Craig LeBan, Philadelphia Inquirer, Revisited April 2007

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