Philadelphia City Paper, October 11th, 2012 by Philadelphia City Paper

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Oct. 11 - Oct. 17, 2012 #1428 |

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SUITE SPOT | Requiem for a music-maker

NEWS | The city’s love-skate relationship FOOD | Yes way, Jose

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Publisher Nancy Stuski Editor in Chief Theresa Everline Senior Editor Patrick Rapa News Editor Samantha Melamed Web Editor/Movies Editor Josh Middleton Arts Editor/Copy Chief Emily Guendelsberger Food Editor/Listings Editor Caroline Russock Senior Writer Isaiah Thompson Staff Writer Daniel Denvir Assistant Copy Editor Carolyn Wyman Contributors Sam Adams, A.D. Amorosi, Rodney Anonymous, Mary Armstrong, Meg Augustin, Justin Bauer, Shaun Brady, Peter Burwasser, Ryan Carey, Mark Cofta, Jesse Delaney, Alison Dell, Adam Erace, M.J. Fine, David Anthony Fox, Michael Gold, K. Ross Hoffman, Brian Howard, Deni Kasrel, Gary M. Kramer, Drew Lazor, Gair “Dev 79” Marking, Robert McCormick, Andrew Milner, Annette Monnier, Michael Pelusi, Elliott Sharp, Tom Tomorrow, John Vettese, Julia West, Brian Wilensky Editorial Interns Jessica Bergman, Nicole Black, Michael Blancato, Christian Graham, Elizabeth Gunto, Catherine Haas, Dylan Peer, David Spelman, Carly Szkaradnik, Andrew Wimer Associate Web Editor/Staff Photographer Neal Santos Production Director Michael Polimeno Editorial Art Director Reseca Peskin Senior Designer Evan M. Lopez Editorial Designers Brenna Adams, Matt Egger Contributing Photographers Jessica Kourkounis, Mark Stehle Contributing Illustrators Ryan Casey, Don Haring Jr., Joel Kimmel, Cameron K. Lewis, Thomas Pitilli, Matthew Smith Human Resources Ron Scully (ext. 210) Office Manager/Sales Coordinator/Financial Coordinator Tricia Bradley (ext. 232) Circulation Director Mark Burkert (ext. 239) Senior Account Managers Nick Cavanaugh (ext. 260), Sharon MacWilliams (ext. 262), Stephan Sitzai (ext. 258) Account Managers Sara Carano (ext. 228), Chris Scartelli (ext. 215), Donald Snyder (ext. 213) Business Development Manager Jeremy Axworthy (ext. 237) Marketing/Online Coordinator Jennifer Francano (ext. 252) Office Coordinator/Adult Advertising Sales Alexis Pierce (ext. 234) Founder & Editor Emeritus Bruce Schimmel citypaper.net 123 Chestnut Street, Third Floor, Phila., PA 19106. 215-735-8444, Tip Line 215-7358444 ext. 241, Letters to the Editor editorial@citypaper.net, Listings Fax 215-8751800, Classified Ads 215-248-CITY, Advertising Fax 215-735-8535, Subscriptions 215-735-8444 ext. 235 Philadelphia City Paper is published and distributed every Thursday in Philadelphia, Montgomery, Chester, Bucks & Delaware Counties, in South Jersey and in Northern Delaware. Philadelphia City Paper is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. Additional copies may be purchased from our main office at $1 per copy. No person may, without prior written permission from Philadelphia City Paper, take more than one copy of each issue. Pennsylvania law prohibits any person from inserting printed material of any kind into any newspaper without the consent of the owner or publisher. Contents copyright © 2012, Philadelphia City Paper. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced without written permission from the publisher. Philadelphia City Paper assumes no obligation (other than cancellation of charges for actual space occupied) for accidental errors in advertising, but will be glad to furnish a signed letter to the buying public.

contents A masterpiece of comic timing.

Naked City ...................................................................................6 Arts & Entertainment.........................................................24 Movies.........................................................................................30 The Agenda ..............................................................................33 Food & Drink ...........................................................................39 COVER ILLUSTRATION AND DESIGN BY ROBERT WOODS & JAMES COOMEY

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CP’s Quality-o-Life-o-Meter

[ -5 ]

A Port Richmond teen says her geometry teacher at Charles Carroll High School mocked her for wearing a Mitt Romney campaign shirt, comparing it to wearing a KKK shirt. “I don’t know what chapter you belong to,” says girl, “but we usually wear robes and hoods to the rallies.”

[ -1 ]

Pennsylvania House candidate Dave Kralle lambasts Carroll High and posts a protest flier on his site that says, “We have been told there isn’t a single American flag at the school and the Pledge is NEVER recited.” Whew. We were worried only the liberal side would end up looking like ignorant, knee-jerking shitheads in this whole mess.

[ +2 ]

Commissioner Ramsey says Lt. Jonathan Josey will be fired for punching a woman, Aida Guzman, at the Puerto Rican Day Parade. That’s what happens when you assault somebody. You lose your job.

[ -2 ]

The Fraternal Order of Police says the decision to fire Josey “sends a bad message.” Bell Curve has determined that the message is “don’t punch people in the face,” and it’s a pretty good one.

[ +3 ]

Mayor Nutter apologizes to Aida Guzman. “I can’t see anything because my eyes are swollen shut,” she says, “but I’d like to thank Kermit the Frog for his concern.”

[ -2 ]

Latrice Bryant, aide to Councilman W. Wilson Goode Jr., posts on Facebook that she was on a toilet at a Germantown nightclub when a woman burst into her stall and attacked her. Bryant later admits the whole thing was a euphemism for Irritable Bowel Syndrome.

[ -2 ]

Bryant brags about fighting the woman off, saying, “I pounded her face with my fist … booka … booka … booka.” Another euphemism, sadly. IBS affects some 25 to 45 million people nationwide.

[ +1 ]

Mayor Nutter criticizes Mitt Romney for lying in the first presidential debate. “I can’t see anything because my Klan hood doesn’t fit right,” says Romney, “but Kermie can go fuck himself. I’m definitely shutting down PBS now.”

This week’s total: -6 | Last week’s total: -12

EVAN M. LOPEZ

[ law and order ]

ENEMIES OF THE SKATE A brief history of skateboarders’ skirmishes with City Hall. By Isaiah Thompson

ast Thursday, the hallowed chamber of Philadelphia’s City Council was visited by an unusual demographic: skateboarders. They were there to present testimony against new regulations, proposed by At-Large Councilman David Oh, that would have expanded anti-skateboarding rules to include “any publicly accessible outdoor artwork or memorial,” and would have increased the fines for such activity from $300 to $2,000 and “imprisonment for up to 90 days.” The opponents drew a series of approving roars from the audience as, one after another, they attacked Oh’s regulations for being unnecessary, vague and unfairly punitive. After various sympathetic remarks from several other Council members, the bill was held and the day — if not the war — was won by the skateboarders. It isn’t every day that an outpouring of public testimony stops a bill in its tracks, but the history of attempts by city officials to regulate skateboarding — and of efforts by skateboarders to resist those regulations — is a long (if not always glorious) one. Let’s review. August 1996: A year after a skateboarding park opens in FDR Park, city controller Jonathan Saidel publishes a scathing “audit” of illegal — but largely ignored — skateboarding in Love Park. He suggests police confiscate boards when they issue tickets.

June 2000: Councilman Michael Nutter proposes a bill that would ban skateboarding on all public property and allow the seizure of skateboards from violators. He gets support from a Council committee — but not from Councilwoman Jannie Blackwell, who says Love Park “is a microcosm of who we are.” In response, skaters organize as the Skater’s Defense Lobby (it will have various names over the years), led by skater and law student Joshua Nims, who calls Nutter’s bill “using legislation as a baseball bat to kill a fly.” September 2000: Nutter’s bill, delayed amid controversy,

finally passes 14-3, with Blackwell still opposed and joined by Council members Rick Mariano and David Cohen. But a series of profound ironies follows: That September sees the release of Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 2, in which Love Park is a playable level. In December, newspapers report that ESPN’s X Games will come to Philly — but that its sponsors are upset that the games won’t be taking place in Love Park.

“A microcosm of who we are.”

April 2002: Skaters and the John Street administration go head to head when the mayor cracks down on skateboarding and introduces a nearly $1 million renovation plan for Love Park to make it less attractive to skaters. A Street spokesman says the administration will find skaters a new site, possibly on the Schuylkill behind the Art Museum. But in May the Fairmount Park Commission quickly nixes the idea, offering nothing in its place. >>> continued on page 8

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[ a million stories ]

✚ VISUAL AID It’s opening night of the exhibition, and artist Rayne Parker-Jones is posing for photos in front of her work, a semi-abstract battle of darkness against light. At 16, she’s seen a way too much of the dark stuff: Her parents were both killed before she was 14, and she herself was shot in the leg while walking home from a park. But with a grin, the West Oak Lane resident and aspiring nurse says she can envision a day when it’s all sunshine. The exhibition in question is the Anti-Violence Partnership’s first-ever show of art therapy by children and teens, all victims of the surging violence that Philly, despite a variety of lawenforcement efforts, can’t seem to curb. Deb Spungen, who founded the partnership in 1980, two years after her daughter was murdered, says that — unfortunately, and for the first time ever — the partnership now has a several-months-long waiting list for children’s therapy. Its major source of funding, a Victims of Crime Act grant from the U.S. Department of Justice, was cut by 20 percent this year with little advance notice, meaning the partnership has had to operate leaner than ever. As a result, the therapists are now mostly part-time, says executive director Julie Rausch. But that’s a good thing, actually, since “this is an area that’s susceptible to vicarious traumatization.” One therapist had to quit after suffering chronic nightmares. The partnership keeps staffers at the Medical Examiner’s office, where family members go to identify bodies; at the District Attorney’s office; and at the Criminal Justice Center, where they try to be there for families at preliminary hearings in every

murder case in the city — a tall order this year.

With the exhibition — running through Oct. 18 at Art Sanctuary (628 S. 16th St., artsanctuary.org) — they’re hoping to boost awareness. Art therapy isn’t the only means they use, says therapist Rebecca Selvin, but it’s helpful, especially for kids. “Trauma is stored on the right side of your brain,” she says. That’s also where pictures and emotions reside; words keep to the left. “Particularly for children who don’t have the means to create words, creating art gives them access to heal through the right side.” The works, some hopeful and others heartbreaking, were created especially for the exhibit. Though board member Anthony Johnson considers the exhibition a success, he’s not sure it will be an annual thing. “It’s fun for the kids to create the art, but it can be really traumatic. So I’m not sure how often we can ask them to do that.” —Samantha Melamed

✚ A GHOST OF A CHANCE On June 30, after five years of changing the lives of hundreds of fathers trying to make their way after getting out of prison, the freshly de-funded Pennsylvania Prison Society’s Philly ReNew parenting and job-readiness program shut its doors. Then, a funny thing happened: For a little while, at least, despite the lack of a money lifeline, it kept on working. Behind the program’s zombie effectiveness: a man named LaMonte Williams, who was hired by the Prison Society just two weeks before the program disappeared. He stayed on as a volunteer, doing his damnedest to make sure every one of the men left hanging after the program was eliminated from the state >>> continued on page 10

Philadelphia, 2012 ALAN BARR

By Daniel Denvir

BEING JUDGED ³ PENNSYLVANIANS LIKE GOV. Tom Corbett

less with each passing opinion poll, but they won’t get a chance to vote him out of office until 2014. Right now, however, state courts are causing Republicans — who also control the state House and Senate — serial headaches. Most recently, Commonwealth Court Judge Robert Simpson issued an injunction blocking the state’s voter-ID law from going into effect for the upcoming presidential election. Simpson initially gave voter ID his blessing, but a split state Supreme Court ordered him to take another look to ensure the law would cause no voter disenfranchisement. The high court was somewhat split along party lines — but that’s not to say any of the justices wanted to let the law stand.The split was between a majority that basically forced Simpson to stay the law and two dissenting liberals who wanted the court to issue the injunction right there. The same goes for the state’s Marcellus Shale law, which prohibits localities from regulating natural-gas drilling within their borders. In July, a Commonwealth Court panel ruled 4-3 that the provisions overriding “local zoning and environmental laws” were unconstitutional. Corbett appealed that ruling to the Supreme Court. The same is happening with state legislative redistricting, the every-10-years process by which district boundaries are redrawn using new census numbers. It is always a nakedly political process, with parties warping districts to maximize their potential electoral success. But in January, the state Supreme Court ruled 4-3 that the Republican-drawn plan unconstitutionally chopped up towns and counties. In September, the redistricting commission gave the Court a new map. That case is pending. “I think you are seeing the results of Republican overreach,” says Muhlenberg College political science professor Christopher Borick. “In almost all of the areas that the court has been asked to weigh in on, the GOP has taken some fairly extreme policy positions that even Republican-leaning courts may see as going too far.” The courts have yet another chance to block extremism: Corbett has also eliminated $205-amonth General Assistance cash welfare for the most disadvantaged Pennsylvanians, including disabled people. Three poor and disabled people are challenging that law, which also restricts other safety-net programs, saying it was passed in a way that violates the state constitution. Voters may have elected Republicans to control Harrisburg, but they didn’t give them license to violate the law. ✚ Send feedback to daniel.denvir@citypaper.net.

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Bonjour!

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✚ Enemies of the Skate <<< continued from page 6

Philly “will never live down the inhumanity.” A L’ECOLE FRANCAISE You Will Love Your French Classes & Amaze Yourself! Registration any time and also Saturday,11/3 from 9am to 12 noon. alecolefrancaise.com 610.660.9645

May 2003: Longstanding skater

opposition to city regulations gains new momentum when the issue gets caught in the gravitational pull of a mayoral election. Republican mayoral nominee Sam Katz declares his intention to lift the ban on skating in Love Park — which, it turns out, $1 million in renovations later, still has enticing steps and ledges. “If we can’t keep young people here, there won’t be a tax base,” Katz proclaims alongside none other than 95-year-old former city planner Ed Bacon, who, amazingly, declares that Philadelphia “will never live down the inhumanity” of kicking the skaters out. July 2003: Momentum for the skaters’

return to Love Park builds when Council members Rick Mariano, Blondell Reynolds Brown, Marian Tasco and Frank Rizzo commend efforts by the newly named Skater’s Advocacy Network to come up with a plan for Love Park. City officials balk. In August, Mayor Street announces plans (again) for a skate park along the Schuylkill.

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March 2004: The city implants metal “cleats” on Dilworth Plaza railings and benches to prevent skateboarding. May 2004: A California sneaker company offers $1 million to the city if it ends the ban on skating in Love Park. Street administration officials decline. One year later, plans for a new skatepark on the Schuylkill, eventually named Paine’s Park, are unveiled. The estimated cost is $2 million. It will grow to more than $4 million. October 2012: More than a decade

since skaters were kicked out of Love Park, the mythical Paine’s Park lives — mainly on franklinspaine.com, where supporters are encouraged to donate to the Franklin’s Paine Skatepark Fund, volunteer and support a proposed skate park on the Schuylkill designed by Brian Nugent and Anthony Bracali. At long last, earlier this month, the Fund and Schuylkill Banks announced a groundbreaking ceremony for Paine’s Park on Oct. 12. “We are very excited,” the press release said, “to announce that the long wait ... is almost over!” (isaiah.thompson@citypaper.net)

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✚ a million stories

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<<< continued from page 7

budget got a job placement and the support he needed. Working his connections, Williams helped 17 men land 18 jobs — 10 full time, and eight part time — in warehouses, restaurants, retail stores and factories. But last month, the inevitable happened: Williams landed a new job himself — which means even the ghost of Philly ReNew is now, pending the deus ex machina of a new funding, laid to rest. “It’s going to be challenging for them being that I’m not here,” Williams admits. “The reason why they were able to get jobs so quickly is because I found out what their skills are, and then I matched them with employers. That makes the process a lot easier.” One person who benefited was Isean McNeil, 36, who until last year never had a job in his life. Today, he says, everything has changed. “I was really tired of the whole prison situation,” McNeil explains. So he got focused, and with help from Philly ReNew, got a job at Boston Market. He also works part time with Shalom Inc., counseling kids at Philly’s Juvenile Treatment Court. He’s beginning to think big: an associate’s degree and then a master’s in social work. Same with Ikeem McFadden of Kensington, who has a 1-year-old daughter and a mom with multiple sclerosis to support. The Prison Society helped him get motivated, build his confidence: “I got a chance to be a person involved in society instead of being looked at as a criminal.” He’s become more strategic about his career, too. He now looks at his gig at Dunkin’ Donuts as his “bridge job. Now that I’m working, I feel pretty —S.M. good about me getting another job.”

✚ A GREAT WTINESS FOR LIFE A crowd of more than 100 recently crammed the second-floor ballroom of the William Way LGBT Community Center to celebrate the life of John Bell, a longtime leader of the rowdy AIDS activist group ACT UP and an employee of the AIDS service organization Philadelphia FIGHT. “It’s not too many built like that, straight up,” says 55-year-old Samuel Morales, a student in the first session of TEACH Outside, a FIGHT program Bell co-founded to help HIV-positive ex-offenders navigate the outside and stay healthy. Morales now teaches the Spanishlanguage version of the TEACH course. HIV-positive people walking out the prison gates often had Bell’s cell phone number in their hands. And that phone, friends say, was never off. “I would not be alive today had it not been for John Bell,” says AIDS activist Waheedah Shabazz-El. “I am a person of faith and I do believe that God works through people. And in June of 2003, God came to me in the person of John Bell. And I knew it had to be God, because it takes God to save lives, and that’s what John did. And I said that he saved my life

because of where he found me. Because I was in a prison.” Bell introduced Shabazz-El to FIGHT and ACT UP. “This man showed up. He was an official visitor. I thought he was my lawyer,” she said, prompting laughs. “Until he started talking about AIDS. And then he told me that he had came in to tell me that I wasn’t going to die because he had been living with AIDS for 20 years.” Former Philadelphia Prison Commissioner Leon King credits Bell and other ACT UP members for pushing him to bring condoms and rapid HIV testing to inmates. King recalls Bell insisting that he take a photograph with him — in uniform. King asked why. “He said, ‘Well, it’s very important that the inmates see the commissioner touching an exoffender who has HIV, so they

“It’s not too many who are built like that, straight up.” all know it’s OK.’ That blew me away.” Bell worked for Amtrak in Washington, D.C., after fighting in Vietnam. Hooked on heroin, he contracted HIV. He made his way to Philly, where he got clean and met his partner, Gloria Prusakowski. Rev. Dr. Ernest McNear of the True Gospel Tabernacle, a Pentecostal church in South Philadelphia, calls Bell “a great witness for life.” McNear, a former heroin addict and prisoner, is, just like Bell was, not only a teacher but a true living example. John Bell, a prominent member of one of Philadelphia’s most hell-raising movements, died at age 64. In a community that once witnessed too many premature funerals, there are far fewer today

because of people like him. —Daniel Denvir

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R E P RO D U C T I V E M E D I C I N E A S S O C I AT E S of Philadelphia

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People who suffer from Bipolar Disorder experience periods of depression following periods of unusually high energy.

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HENRIETTA! 4 YEARS OLD

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Located on the corner of 2nd and Arch. All PAWS animals are spayed/neutered, vaccinated, and microchipped before adoption. For more information, call 215-238-9901 ext. 30 or email adoptions@phillypaws.org

We are recruiting the following populations: • Healthy Males • Healthy Females of non-child bearing potential • Ages 18 - 45

The study involves two screening visits, one in-house stay of 16 days / 15 nights and 2 outpatient visits.

If you qualify and complete the study you may receive up to $ 4,050.00 in compensation.

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Please reference study # 206356 Part 1

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The PAREXEL Early Phase Unit, located at Harbor Hospital in Baltimore, MD is currently seeking Volunteers to participate in a clinical research trial to evaluate a new Investigational medication.

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BLOKTOBERFEST SATURDAY, OCTOBER 13TH SOUTH STREET, BROAD TO 18TH NOON - 8PM FREE TO ATTEND BEER: This yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s festival features 27

different choices on tap, including many exciting new offerings from local breweries, a selection of seasonal festbiers and pumpkin ales, and even several gluten-free options In order to enjoy the beer offerings, guests age 21 and older must purchase a Beer Bracelet, available for $15 online at bloktoberfestphilly. com or $20 at the event.

FOOD: This year, Bloktoberfest will feature

its widest selection yet of incredible Philly eats. Restaurants all along the festivalâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s three blocks will be selling their delicacies curbside, from venerable South Street institutions. Food at Bloktoberfest is pay-as-you-go, and guests are welcome to sample as many different items as they choose throughout the day.

stages. And as always, taking in the many musical performances at Bloktoberfest is completely free.

FAMILY ACTIVITIES: Bring

the kids! Bloktoberfest 2012 will feature an amazing activities for young children and families on the 1700 block of South Street as part of our Family Zone. Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll have face painters, balloon artists, science demonstrations from the Franklin Institute, pumpkin painting with artists from the City of Philadelphia Mural Arts Program, and many other kinds of all-ages entertainment planned throughout the afternoon.

MUSIC: A great block party calls for

great music. Bloktoberfest will once again be featuring an expansive live music lineup: a mix of nationally recognized and emerging local acts covering a wide array of genres and styles, presented on two

For more information:

BLOKTOBERFESTPHILLY.COM

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icepack By A.D. Amorosi

³ IT HAD TO come sooner or later; even the largest of bookstores die away like orchids after a funeral. But seeing the sociocultural center of old lit Philly — Robin’s Books on 13th Street — get its death warrant was a swift kick in the city’s collective cerebellum (shopping will go on until December at incrementally reduced rates). Along with its Moonstone Arts Center, Robin’s was the one place to stop and think on a constantly buzzing Midtown block. But who the hell is bothering to think anymore, right? I’ll always remember Larry Robin’s shop as the place I saw Maya Angelou read (several times) and bought French film magazines with their covers cut and every City Lights volume there ever was. ³ Used to be, every time I drove by 22nd and Catharine, I’d see the butcher-block paper that covered the corner’s shop windows had yellowed a bit more, and I’d worry that second Ultimo Coffee would never open. Surprise. The tall coffee shop opened on Monday and will house Counter Intelligence upstairs, a learning center for caffeinated seminars and labs. ³ If you make it down to the Diamond State to see Calexico’s Free At Noon WXPN show at World Café Live’sWilmington outpost, say hello to the venue’s new marketing coordinator. That’s Brittany Noonan, a lass indie-Delawarians know from WSTW-FM. ³ The rumors are true about another Philly-filmed collaboration between director David O. Russell and actor Bradley Cooper (who’ve already teamed up for Silver Linings Playbook, due out in November). The Hollywood Reporter confirms what Cooper said during the August premiere screening of The Words at The Prince: “We’ll be back filming in Philly before spring 2013.” Coop was talking about the D.O.R. flick once-titled American Bullshit that is now due to start filming in Philly in February 2013 with co-stars Jeremy Renner, Amy Adams and the Batman, Christian Bale. ³ It’s Thursday morning and Who Wants To Be a Millionaire wants you. There’s a casting call, noon-7 p.m., Oct. 11, at the Convention Center. Be 18+. Check millionairetv.com. Give me a cut if you got your audition notice here. ³ With the passing of lyricist Hal David, I’ve broken down a bit and have been reminiscing about the classic AM pop songs he made with Burt Bacharach and some of the acts that made them dynamic. Like The 5th Dimension, who, along with recording hits with Jimmy Webb (like “Up, Up and Away”), made a smash of the Bacharach/David track “One Less Bell to Answer.” Lead singer Florence LaRue and the rest of T5D play the Sellersville Theater Oct. 14. ³ Raindrops keep fallin’ on my head at citypaper. net/criticalmass. (a_amorosi@citypaper.net)

JESSE’S (A) GIRL: Melanie Julian as the eponymous outlaw in EgoPo’s all-female production of The Assassination of Jesse James. JENNA KUERZI

[ theater reviews ]

UNSAVORY CHARACTERS Bandits, terrorists, assassins and retail managers storm Philly stages. ³ THE ASSASSINATION OF JESSE JAMES The ensemble-created The Assassination of Jesse James, directed by Brenna Geffers, explores the myth and matter of the famous bank robber (1847-1882) in a broadly theatrical style with a twist: James, his gang and his pursuers are all played by women (costumed with veracity by Natalia de la Torre), adding another interpretive layer to the tale of America’s first celebrity outlaw. Melanie Julian makes James a brooding loner, both inspired and repulsed by his hero “Bloody Bill” Anderson, whose executions of Union prisoners James witnessed as a teenager serving in his Confederate guerilla force. Amanda Schoonover plays James’ wife Zee, and also an infiltrator scheming to capture the famous killer. Kate Brennan’s Charlie Ford is torn between loyalty to James and obligation to her callow brother Robert, played by Colleen Hughes, and Maria Konstantinidis serves admirably in multiple roles and leads the show’s singing. All are detailed, genuine portrayals, all the more impressive for the skill with which the actors transform into a rich variety of supporting characters. Geffers’ fascinating production maintains a documentary feel. The ensemble often steps out of character to quote direct sources, establishing how James’ exploits were immediately fictionalized

(his Robin Hood reputation was pure invention) via the propaganda war he waged to justify his bloody crimes. This production tries to cut away the legend. The gang’s pangs of conscience, the bleakness of life on the run and an unromantic portrayal of violence counter the allure of the grinning, boyish outlaw that’s James’ legacy. When James says, “I don’t know how to be a-feared,” it’s not with the jaw-clenched, squinting certainty of a typical male action hero; in Julian’s complex portrayal, it’s a realization of limitations. It’s oversimplifying to credit femininity for this humanizing approach, but our awareness of girls pretending to be boys who want to be men highlights the play’s anti-myth insights. Jesse James offers an entertaining glimpse of late-19th-century culture and its relevance to modern issues of celebrity and “reality.” The play’s dark epilogue explaining the survivors’ fates shows that no one associated with James could maintain, let alone profit from, his mythical status for long. Through Oct. 28, $25-$50, Plays & Players Theater, 1714 Delancey Pl., 267-273-1414, egopo.org.

A contrast to boyish outlaw allure.

—Mark Cofta

³ A SLOW AIR The starkness of Meghan Jones’ scenic design — steel support beams, a suggested airport runway, battered bar furniture — doesn’t hint at the rich, intimate family story that develops in Scottish playwright David Harrower’s A Slow Air.The bleak picture, completed by a video screen showing distant planes slowly crossing blue skies, >>> continued on page 26

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[ a tighter, more carefully plotted exorcism ] ³ rock

There aren’t many septuagenarians telling off fast-talking “boys” with “come-hither stares” or warning women that she’ll steal their men in her smooth-riding Cadillac. Thank goodness no one told Wanda Jackson.The once and future rockabilly queen — who’ll be 75 next week — reaffirms her crown on Unfinished Business (Sugar Hill), a ripping set of rock ’n’ roll chestnuts, classy country stylings and a heartfelt touch of gospel. Jackson plays Sellersville Theater Tuesday and World Café Live in Wilmington next Thursday.

San Francisco’s Ty Segall is on fire with Twins (Drag City), his third album of 2012. The guitar action’s razor-sharp on the pinhead anthem “You’re the Doctor” and the Stooges-groove of “Love Fuzz,” both showing his consistently sticky hooks sticking even stickier. If Segall starts a rock ’n’ roll cult — which he kinda does on the psychedelically operatic “The Hill” — I’m hopping the next bus to Fog City. —Elliott Sharp

—K. Ross Hoffman

³ brit pop Django Django’s buzz-stoking self-titled

³ country/western swing The Time Jumpers are Nashville’s A-Team. Singer Vince Gill, pedal-steel tastemaker Paul Franklin, fiddler Larry Franklin and good ol’ “Ranger Doug” of Riders in the Sky — they’re just a few of the players who gather on Mondays at Music City’s iconic Station Inn purely for the pleasure of jamming with other superlative players. Real honky-tonk like Gill’s original “The Woman of My Dreams” and genuine western swing like Franklin’s “Texoma Bound” make the Jumpers’ self-titled collection (Rounder) a can’t-miss for those who appreciate virtuosic hillbilly jazz. —Mary Armstrong

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debut (Ribbon) — which opens with two of the year’s catchiest rock singles — sounds a bit like XTC and Hot Chip on holiday in the highlands with Super Furry Animals and Tunng, all singing and dancing round about the campfire. Yep, it’s another bunch of U.K. art-school lads (Scotsmen, in this case) having their wiry, whimsical way with us, mingling pastoral folk and fizzy pop into a patchwork of their own design, replete with woodsy harmonies, bleeping synths and peppery acoustic riffs. Jolly good show, Djangos, —K. Ross Hoffman jolly good.

[ movie review ]

THE PAPERBOY

Combines backwater film noir and artsy sexploitation.

NOT BASED ON THE NOVEL BY SAPPHIRE: Lee Daniels follows up Precious with Nicole Kidman giving an air-blowjob.

Music Makers was a bold experiment. ³ EVERY MUSICAL GENRE has a community. The most visible segment consists of the players, followed by the fans. But then there are the instrument makers and purveyors, the publicists, the folks who sell the tickets, the venues and their staffs and last, and probably least, the critics. Last week, the classical-music world in Philadelphia lost someone who managed to play a number of these roles at different stages of her career, and some of them simultaneously. I first met Jane Lenel when she was one of the main sources for string-instrument rentals for Philadelphia school students, when my then-8year-old son needed a fiddle. A few years later, I noticed a curious publication in the magazine rack at Tower Records called Philadelphia Music Makers, edited by none other than Jane, and our paths crossed again. In short order, I became one of her scribes, and then an editor myself. Music Makers was a wonderful source of stories about a wide swath of musical Philadelphia. Through her urging and imagination, I met and wrote about not only amazing young classical musicians such as then-Curtis student Yuja Wang, now a worldwide sensation, or her famous teacher, Gary Graffman, but also such characters as a man who built a wooden pipe organ by hand in his Germantown apartment (John Kaye Gottschall) and a walking, playing bagpipe encyclopedia by the name of Charlie Rutan. As anyone struggling with print journalism these days knows all too well, putting out a magazine is increasingly difficult. Music Makers struggled even from the start, so Jane started sponsoring benefit concerts, and soon enough, we were in the live music business. Her connections led to exceptional events that were reasonably well attended, intimate chamber-music concerts in the truest sense. But it was not enough, and Jane’s bold experiment ended in 2009, almost a decade after it began. This was but a chapter in a rich life. Jane was also a writer and a fine violinist. For those who knew her, it seems almost superfluous to add that she was a vibrant, generous, smart and warm-spirited human being. Her life was a model of how one person can engage the world of art in an all-encompassing way, and although her friends will miss her greatly, she remains an inspiration on so many fronts. (p_burwasser@citypaper.net)

A combination of backwater film noir and artsy sexploitation, the Philly native’s third feature — and followup to 2009 Best Picture nominee Precious — is certainly engrossing. That’s a good way to describe Nicole Kidman urinating on Zac Efron, right? And that is hardly The Paperboy’s strangest or most grotesque scene. And therein lies the problem. At some point — perhaps it’s when Kidman brings a bedraggled, handcuffed John Cusack to orgasm by pretending to fellate him from across the room (don’t worry, she gets off, too) — it sinks in that Lee has tossed coherent storytelling aside in favor of shock value and aestheticized trashiness. The result is a film that’s somehow both overworked and underdone, with a plot best described as a hot mess. Emphasis on the heat. It’s the sweaty, sticky summer of 1969 in a Florida swamp town, and Lee uses sultry hues to create an atmosphere ripe with tension, magnifying the lust and racial rifts that motivate his characters. It’s an ideal visual backdrop for the mystery thriller supposedly at the movie’s heart. Big-time journalist Ward Jansen (Matthew McConaughey) returns to his hometown to investigate the murder of the town’s sheriff. Needing an errand boy, Ward enlists little brother Jack (Efron), a listless college dropout living at home. Rounding out the crew is trashy, oversexed Charlotte (Kidman), who hopes the group can help free her accused-murderer fiance (Cusack). The story is meaty, and the actors do their best to summon some gravitas, but Daniels is far too eager to drop the plot to shoehorn in one more shocking sex act or shot of Efron running around in his tighty-whities. —Michael Gold

GOODBYE, JANE

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[ C- ] You’ve got to hand it to Lee Daniels: He knows how to keep things interesting.

suitespot Peter Burwasser on classical

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³ rock/country

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✚ Unsavory Characters <<< continued from page 24

forces us to consider how the story of estranged brother and sister, Athol (Brian McCann) and Morna (Emma Gibson), relates to larger issues in director Tom Reing’s production with Inis Nua. The personal tale is satisfying enough, really. Gibson and McCann are fascinating as the middle-aged sibs (with convincingly thick Glaswegian accents) making moves toward reconnecting after 14 years. The catalyst is Morna’s son, who makes a clumsy attempt to bring his mother and uncle together on his 21st birthday, and as the reunion approaches, the monologues begin to merge as the suspense mounts. Harrower, introduced to local audiences through Theatre Exile’s gripping productions of his equally challenging Blackbird and Knives in Hens, unspools their intersecting tales in a series of alternating monologues over a sleek 75 minutes. If you’re wondering where the planes come in, this is all tied to the failed terrorist attack on the Glasgow Airport on June 30, 2007, when two men drove a Jeep packed with explosives through the doors. (In Harrower’s world, the would-be terrorists lived in Athol’s neighborhood.) Actual TV news reports from the attack, projected on the back screen, occasionally punctuate scenes. What’s disturbing about them is how undisturbing they are; more than a decade after 9/11, we’re far too accustomed to how TV news portrays violence and its aftermath. The global issues resulting in the terrorist attack don’t dovetail exactly with the family split, but that makes its own point: Life, unlike most fiction, doesn’t make obvious connections between interpersonal and international situations. But juxtaposing them forces us to mull the parallels. Through Oct. 21, $20-$25, Off-Broad Street Theater, 1636 Sansom St., 215-454-9776, inisnuatheatre.org. —Mark Cofta

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³ RFK The past 30 years have seen a fall in Kennedy stock. The family that once represented heroism and sacrifice tends to be portrayed now as a collection of power- and sex-hungry vulgarians — from Camelot to “came a lot,” as it were. So it’s heartening to see a positive spin in Jack Holmes’ small-scale, touching one-man play RFK. It’s possible that people under 50 won’t instantly know that RFK is JFK’s younger brother, Robert Francis Kennedy. A quick bio: As his brother’s attorney general, RFK famously cracked down on organized crime and enforced civil rights. After John Kennedy’s death, he won a seat in the Senate and became a presidential front-runner himself in 1968, but was assassinated the night he won the California primary. Historical monodramas are, for me, a tough sell. Almost always, they oversimplify and overpraise. And what is an actor to do when playing someone who is instantly recognizable? RFK mostly avoids these potential pitfalls. Russ Widdall’s no ringer for Robert Kennedy, but he’s a fine actor who clearly connects with the character. He’s mastered the accent and vocal mannerisms, and looks just enough like Kennedy that it’s not jarring to see him next to actual newsreel footage (one of the many forms of period media employed in a sort of recurring collage by director Ginger Dayle — ideally, this conceit would be more seamlessly executed, but somehow the almost-homemade quality emphasizes the humanity behind the whole enterprise). Robert Kennedy was a controversial figure, dogged by allegations of high-handed manipulation. But the person we see here is an enormously likeable, deeply principled man who continually worked to prove himself worthy of his family name. (A trope in RFK is that the Kennedys overlooked and underestimated this middle child.) It’s fair to say the show is pretty much a love letter to its subject, but what makes it work is that it’s at least as much about the political turmoil he lived through — and fought to change — as it is about the man himself. Vietnam and civil rights are front and center, as they should be. RFK will be self-recommending to many people, but I hope some younger audiences get there, too. The show — and RFK

WATER CRUELER: Catherine Palfenier and Kevin Bergen in A Bright New Boise. KATHRYN RAINES

himself — deserves it. Through Oct. 21, $24-$26, The Adrienne, 2030 Sansom St., 215-563-7500, newcitystage.org. —David Anthony Fox

³ A BRIGHT NEW BOISE We know right away that the title of Samuel D. Hunter’s 2011 Obie Award-winning play A Bright New Boise is ironic — the play is set in a bleakly recognizable box-store employee break room, where beleaguered Hobby Lobby manager Pauline (Catherine Palfenier) interviews shy, older Will (Kevin Bergen) for a minimumwage retail job. It’s 38 hours a week (which is part-time, two hours shy of full-time and benefits). Yes, in director Jill Harrison’s terrific production, we’re in a uniquely American hell. The audience — sitting on opposite sides of Ian Guzzone’s wonderfully terrible little room, fluorescent-lit by David Todaro — soon sees that Hunter has plans beyond depicting minimum-wage misery. When Will’s small talk with surly teen coworker Alex (Aubie Merrylees) falters, he blurts out that he is Alex’s father. “You’d better not need a kidney,” the kid sneers. Will arrives penniless, but with baggage: He’s a survivor of the New Life Fellowship, which preached end times until scandal destroyed them. Will still believes, writing Rapture fiction on his blog. Alex’s adoptive brother Leroy (Robert Carlton) tries to drive Will away — “This is me deliberately making you uncomfortable,” he glowers — while shy reader Anna (Jessica DalCanton) finds Will’s hobby alluring. All seek something to believe in: Leroy trusts his feeble art, Anna wants a man, Pauline’s god is a profitable store, Alex needs family. Father and son make lurching progress as Will, in Bergen’s masterfully understated performance, struggles to maintain his battered religious identity despite his new world’s temptations — particularly the heartbreakingly lonely Anna. “One day, none of this will matter,” Will insists, but he begins to hope for more. Hunter’s ending surprises with its suddenness — it shocked me, I think, because I was so invested in the characters and not ready to let them go — but an incisive script and the cast’s fine performances help us realize that providing no easy answers is sometimes the right answer. Through Oct. 21, $10-$22, Walnut Street Theatre, Independence Studio on 3, 825 Walnut St., 215-423-0254, simpatico—Mark Cofta theatre.org.

A uniquely American hell.

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³ THERE’S REALLY VERY little that The Roaring

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[ arts & entertainment ]

Under the covers with Justin Bauer

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Orchards School for Troubled Teens, the setting of Dan Josefson’s That’s Not a Feeling (Oct. 2, Soho), has in common with The Bradley School of Bronwen Hruska’s Accelerated (Oct. 2, Pegasus), where every pupil reads well past grade level. The rural isolation of Roaring Orchards seems worlds away from Bradley’s Upper East Side; the defeated, largely absent parents who send their children off to Josefson’s therapeutic boarding school couldn’t behave more differently from the overinvolved parents on Bradley’s pushy, entitled alumni board. The upshot, of course, is that these schools aren’t all that different. The dark secret at the heart of Bradley’s success is pharmaceutical, a cabinet in the basement filled with the same stuff a place like Roaring Orchards doesn’t bother to hide — Ritalin, Adderall and lithium. And if the external specifics of Feeling’s comic coming-of-age story contrast with thriller-flavored Accelerated’s parental nightmare, both books share specific anxieties: authority and its arbitrary exercise, and the ways apparently free choices trap you into unwilling consent. In Feeling, Roaring Orchards is an ideal place for authority anxieties; when difficult, suicidal Benjamin is dropped off there (for a tour, his parents tell him), its headmaster and founder is withdrawing into illness, leaving behind a structure of rules nobody understands. Benjamin’s struggle to navigate the emotionalgrowth-education mushiness of the system is clever, but it’s also comfortable, drawing on a vocabulary of recovery memoirs and cuckoo’s nests. So when Gary, one of the low-functioning New Boys, starts making up stories about his sex addiction in order to move forward in “the process,” the outlandishness of his farm-animal stories is amusing, but there’s no shock in the symbiosis between cynical patient and needy therapist. Where Josefson surprises, however, is in his earnestness. There’s Tidbit, one of the Alternative Girls (better than New, but not a Regular Kid) whose frustration with not being able to move forward under Roaring Orchards’ arbitrary rules keeps her lashing out; there’s Ellie, one of the Dorm Parents who is doubtful at best about the system, but who immediately lapses into passive-aggres-

sive jargon about feelings when her boyfriend hits a rough patch. In fact, it’s poor, trapped Ellie who best resembles the characters in Accelerated, a smoother, tighter, more carefully plotted exorcism of the same anxieties. Accelerated sticks close to a set of parents whose primaryschool kids are experiencing the first pressures to perform, but they’re shown to be just as thoroughly cowed and co-opted as any Roaring Orchards inmate. Hruska shows us Bradley mainly through the eyes of tabloid editor Sean Benning, beholden to his estranged wife’s father for his son’s tuition and pressured to pursue any advantage — including evaluating and medicating Toby for ADHD despite not seeing any symptoms himself. Sean’s sister jokes: “His

Ritalin, Adderall and lithium. advanced artwork is taking time from his advanced math, so they’d like to give him extra help and maybe throw in some study drugs to get him up to speed.” After a classmate succumbs to a “peanut allergy” and Toby collapses, Sean begins to tease out a conspiracy and Accelerated takes on the outlines of a thriller. That structure is fortunate, even if it leads to a couple of cardboard villains and a quick, pat ending. A more characterdriven story might have forced Accelerated to confront Sean’s inconsistencies, and, well, the sex. (Not only does he sleep with his estranged wife and his son’s teacher, but Accelerated opens, bizarrely, with a tryst with the mother of one of his son’s classmates in a fundraising-party bathroom — a weird choice for an introduction.) Instead, Accelerated shows how Sean is manipulated, via false choices that play on his insecurities, into surrendering his sense of what’s right for his family. (j_bauer@citypaper.net)

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No purchase necessary. Limit two passes per person while supplies last. Theater is overbooked to ensure a full house. Arrive early. Passes received through this promotion do not guarantee admission. Seating is on a first-come, first-served basis, except for members of the reviewing press. This film is rated PG-13 for violence including disturbing images, sexual content, language, drug references, and nudity. Must be 13 years of age or older to download passes and attend screening. Anti-piracy security will be in place at this screening. By attending, you agree to comply with all security requirements. All federal, state, and local regulations apply. Summit, Philadelphia City Paper and their affiliates accept no responsibility or liability in connection with any loss or accident incurred in connection with use of a prize. Passes cannot be exchanged, transferred, or redeemed for cash, in whole or in part. We are not responsible for lost, delayed, or misdirected entries, phone failures, or tampering. Void where prohibited by law.

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FILMS ARE GRADED BY CITY PAPER CRITICS A-F.

Seven Psychopaths

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COLUMBIA PICTURES PRESENTS A HEY EDDIE/BROKEN ROAD/HAPPY MADISON PRODUCTION A FRANK CORACI MOVIE MUSIC “HERE COMES THE BOOM” SALMA HAYEK HENRY WI N KLER BY RUPERT GREGSON-WILLIAMS EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS ADAM SANDLER JACK GIARRAPUTO JEFF SUSSMAN MARTY P. EWING WRITTEN PRODUCED DIRECTED BY ALLAN LOEB & KEVIN JAMES BY TODD GARNER KEVIN JAMES BY FRANK CORACI STARTS FRIDAY, OCTOBER 12

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ARGO |B+ Forty years ago, Argo would have been an easy film to overrate; now, the reverse is true. Over the course of three films, Ben Affleck has emerged as an exceptionally solid, resolutely unspectacular director, the kind whose level of understated craft should be a requirement rather than an aspiration. Things being as they are, however, Argo is an unexpected treat, a cracking true(ish) story whose cast is replete with great character actors: Bryan Cranston, John Goodman, Alan Arkin, Victor Garber, Zeljko Ivanek, Titus Welliver, Chris Messina, Bob Gunton and Richard Kind, and that’s just for starters. Affleck takes the lead as a CIA ex-filtration expert whose job is to smuggle a half-dozen American embassy workers out of locked-down Tehran in 1979, a largely unknown offshoot of the contemporary hostage crisis. The plan — an absurdity arrived at after anything more plausible has fallen through — is for Affleck to enter the country as the second-rung producer of a Hollywood sci-fi movie looking to shoot in Iran, and the rest of the Americans to pose as the film’s crew, a ruse that involves generating ample publicity for the bogus production. There are soft in-jokes about the parallel prevalence of bullshit in the movie industry and covert intelligence, lots of scenes with men in pointy-collared shirts and scruffy beards involved in tense dialogue exchanges — nothing earth-shattering, but enough for a high-level diversion of a kind presently all too rare. Divorce it from awards-season hype, and Argo holds up fine: There’s no need to pretend it’s something it’s not, when what it is works just fine. —Sam Adams (UA 69th Street, UA Riverview) ATLAS SHRUGGED: PART 2 A haiku: It’s like Jesus said:

Greed is good and the meek shall inherit jack shit. (Not reviewed) (UA Riverview)

HOW TO SURVIVE A PLAGUE |A The height of the AIDS crisis coincided with the rise of camcorder culture, and its epicenter was in Greenwich Village, heavily populated by artists and media-savvy young people. As a result, the struggle for political acknowledgement and solutions was recorded in-depth, as reflected by David France’s essential documentary tracing the efforts of ACT UP and its offshoot organization, TAG. Using no narration and the bare minimum of onscreen text — largely limited to a year-by-year tally of the disease’s mounting death toll — France lets the story unfold through contemporary footage, giving the scramble to procure recognition, treatment and effective drugs a real-time urgency. This approach virtually erases the viewer’s hindsight, affording each victory and loss a vivid, in-the-moment suspense. It also allows the villains of the piece, in particular George H.W. Bush and Jesse Helms, to condemn themselves with their own repulsive words. In the end, the sparing use of modern-day talking heads suddenly gives way to a silent montage of the survivors. The effect is incredibly moving. The loss of those we’ve watched over the past two hours — those whose faces don’t reappear — resonates profoundly. It also serves, as suggested by the instruction-manual title, as a primer for political action, demonstrating the change that a motivated and (mostly) united community can effect. —Shaun Brady (Ritz at the Bourse) MIDDLE OF NOWHERE A haiku: Congrats on finding yourself a new lover while your husband’s in jail! (Not reviewed) (UA Riverview)

SEVEN PSYCHOPATHS |B-

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“GROUNDBREAKING”

Peter Travers, Rolling Stone

unsettling jolts. —Gary M. Kramer (Pearl, UA 69th Street, UA Main Street, UA Riverview)

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LOOPER|B

CONTINUING FRANKENWEENIE |A Disney goes dark in this gothic, animated 3-D delight by the ever-imaginative Tim Burton. The story quickly establishes the close bond between Victor and his dog Sparky. When the pooch unexpectedly bites the dust, the

bereft child is struck with the idea to reanimate his pet, and he does so in a virtuoso sequence à la Frankenstein. While the reignited Sparky isn’t seamless — some of his body parts tend to fall off — Frankenweenie is a solidly conceived blend of humor and horror that balances dry jokes with some

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Set in a present not far from our own, Joe (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) labors as a “looper,” a glassy-eyed mafia grunt specializing in the offing of anonymous transgressors banished from the future and sent back 30 years for disposal. To limit liability, the employing syndicate, run by the oddly kind Abe (Jeff Daniels), periodically shoots back decades-weathered versions of the loopers themselves, stamping a non-negotiable expiration date on its freelancers. When Joe, already mired in existential woe over the finality of his career, comes face-to-face with his own creased visage (Bruce Willis), he hesitates just long enough for the more experienced, more dangerous version of himself to flee. Falling in with a single mother (Emily Blunt) and her captivating, frightening son (Pierce Gagnon), Young Joe tracks Old Joe’s movements and vice versa, each killer hacking brush to escape from his impossible situation. So few dystopian setups dodge the derivative, and director Rian Johnson’s isn’t perfect, but Looper, is more clever

“Pulpy, sweaty, outrageously entertaining... not like anything I ve ever seen.” THE ATLANTIC

“Digs

deep, down and dirty with intense emotions and sensational indignities.” TIME

SINISTER Read Shaun Brady’s review at citypaper.net/movies. (Pearl, UA 69th Street, UA Riverview)

SOMEWHERE BETWEEN |B-

BRUCE JOSEPH EMILY WILLIS GORDON-LEVITT BLUNT

TRISTAR PICTURES FILMDISTRICT AND ENDGAME ENTERTAINMENT PRESENT IN ASSOCIATION WITH DMG ENTERTAINMENT A RAM BERGMAN PRODUCTION A FILM BY RIAN JOHNSON BRUCE WILLIS JOSEPH GORDON-LEVITT EMILY BLUNT “LOOPER” PAUL DANO NOAH SEGAN PIPER PERABOPRODUCEDGARRET DILLAHUNT AND JEFF DANIELS EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS DOUGLAS E. HANSEN JULI E GOLDSTEIN PETER SCHLESSEL JOSEPH GORDON-LEVITT DAN MINTZ BY RAM BERGMAN AND JAMES D. STERN WRITTEN AND DIRECTED BY RIAN JOHNSON STRONG VIOLENCE, LANGUAGE, SOME SEXUALITY/NUDITY AND DRUG CONTENT

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Having adopted a Chinese baby girl herself, director Linda Goldstein Knowlton decided to make a doc following four teenage girls who had also been adopted from China — refugees, essentially, of the infamous One Child Policy — and raised in America. On the surface, Somewhere Between is disarmingly touching and positive, but it barely touches on the issues these surprisingly well-adjusted teens are dealing with. The adoptive parents, for instance, remain largely unseen and unheard. That is, until an

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The second collaboration between Irish rapscallions Martin McDonagh and Colin Farrell rides a more absurd route than 2008’s In Bruges, but the director’s affinity for throwaway violence, blunted female characters and the psychologically impotent men who love/hate them is as alive as ever. Like McDonagh’s debut, Seven Psychopaths tangles up the criminal world with the cinematic — but the director doesn’t intend to prove the two have anything in common. Rather, the creative-class freedom of an alcoholic screenwriter’s day-to-day life permits the plot to lumber in any direction it pleases, with varying results. Working on a freewheeling script that attempts to Tarantino-glue a crew of murderers together, Marty (Farrell) is struggling with his craft, to the frustration of his girl (Abbie Cornish) and amusement of his oddball bud Billy (Sam Rockwell), who makes rent with partner Hans (Christopher Walken) kidnapping dogs and returning them for reward cash. The pair has crosshairs placed on their heads after nabbing a shih tzu belonging to gangster Charlie (Woody Harrelson), but this isn’t a typical locked-and-loaded caper comedy. About an hour in, McDonagh gets smart, braiding together Marty’s scribblings with new and existing characters in a burly swing for the postmodern fences. At its most congruous, the trickery works, especially thanks to Rockwell and a jamming Tom Waits, who are let off the leash and told to run. But McDonagh’s cutesy passes at the audience beget a leaden byproduct: plot points that are more sneering than steering. The fence-free setup is truly anything goes, but that doesn’t mean everything should. —Drew Lazor (Pearl, UA Riverview)

awkward scene where one girl meets her birth parents and her adoptive mother bluntly asks, “So, who abandoned her?” It’s the film’s provocative moment, and a glimpse into the depths Knowlton left unexplored. —Catherine Haas (Ritz at the Bourse)

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THE PAPERBOY |CRead Michael Gold’s review on p. 25. (Ritz Five)

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than anything in this year’s sci-fi class. —DL (Pearl, Rave, UA 69th Street, UA Riverview)

THE MASTER |AOne night, in a toxic haze, World War II sailor Freddie Quell (Joaquin Phoenix) wanders onto a yacht chartered by Lancaster Dodd (Philip Seymour Hoffman), the guru behind a nebulous self-help movement called The Cause. Dodd insists that humankind is a breed apart from the animal kingdom, but Freddie is all urges. In the first scene, as word of the armistice filters in, he and his fellow sailors fashion a woman’s body out of wet sand to celebrate, and until the movie’s final scene, that’s as close as Freddie comes to getting his end wet. Whether he’s striking out or pushing away, he remains unsatisfied, which may be a deliberate metaphor for

“ S IMPLY

how The Master leaves us. Phoenix’s performance is a guttural wonder, and Hoffman seems to have found a whole new register for his voice, but as Freddie drifts into and finally out of Dodd’s orbit, director Paul Thomas

Anderson seems like a chess player toying with a mid-level piece, shifting him around the board without a strategy in place. The Master is less than the sum of its parts, but, oh, what parts they are. —SA (Ritz Five)

U NMISSABLE ! ” -Peter Bradshaw

THE OTHER DREAM TEAM|B+

BRYN MAWR FILM INSTITUTE

If you remember anything from the 1992 Barcelona Olympics, it’s probably America’s basketball “dream team.” But a couple notches down on the medal podium was the “other” dream team, superstars from basketball-obsessed (who knew?) Lithuania, carrying all the aspirations of their newly liberated republic on their shoulders. In the underdog-loving, longshot-favoring world of sports documentaries, one can generally expect the most unlikely victors — if given enough camera time — to overcome the odds. The Other Dream Team, the first full-length feature by writer-director Marius Markevicius, faces the challenge of breaking new ground while traveling that welltrodden path. But even robbed of suspense, the Lithuanians’ journey to somewhere improbably near the top makes for a compelling tale: a wild ride that wanders far afield from the basketball court, into life under communist Soviet occupation. —Samantha Melamed (Ritz at the Bourse)

824 W. Lancaster Ave., Bryn Mawr, 610-527-9898, brynmawrfilm.org. Pete’s Dragon (1977, U.S., 128 min.): This family musical uses both live-action and animation to tell the story of a young orphan and his dragon friend. Sat., Oct. 13, 11 a.m., $5. A League of Their Own (1992, U.S., 128 min.): A dramatized retelling of the ups and downs of America’s first professional women’s baseball league. No crying permitted. Tue., Oct. 16, 7:30 p.m., free. State of the Union (1948, U.S., 124 min.): Frank Capra’s sole MGM effort showcases Spencer Tracy as an industrialist whose campaign for president places a heavy burden on his relationship with his wife (Katharine Hepburn). Wed., Oct. 17, 7 p.m., $10.

TAKEN 2|C

Written and Directed by

PAUL THOMAS ANDERSON

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PHILIP SEYMOUR HOFFMAN AMY ADAMS TheMasterFilm.com

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Liam Neeson was the first and only reason Taken was such a sleeper — who the hell expected Michael Collins to loosen his necktie and pulverize three-quarters of the Albanian human-trafficker population with his bare hands? Neeson's second spin as an unbreakable (retired) CIA necksnapper, overseen by slick action specialist Olivier Megaton (Transporter 3, Colombiana), has all the gunfights and auto chases your adrenalineaddled heart desires, but it's missing the dogged undercurrent that made the 2008 original so magnetic. —DL (Pearl, UA 69th Street, UA Riverview)

CHECK DIRECTORIES FOR SHOWTIMES NO PASSES ACCEPTED

✚ REPERTORY FILM AMBLER THEATER 108 E. Butler Ave., Ambler, 215-3457855, amblertheater.org. Film 101: Inside the Coen Brothers’ No Country for Old Men (2007, U.S., 122 min.): Prof. Maurizio Giammarco of Temple University leads a discussion on the Coens’ 2007 hit about a hunter on the run from a local sheriff and psychotic killer. Watch the movie first; select clips will be examined at the event. Thu., Oct. 11, 7:30 p.m., $9.75.

THE BALCONY 1003 Arch St., 215-922-6888, thetroc. com. Prometheus (2012, U.S., 124 min.): Ridley Scott’s “quasi-prequel” to the Alien franchise follows the crew of the titular spaceship in their over-zealous and under-thought journey to meet their maker. Mon., Oct. 15, 8 p.m., $3.

COLONIAL THEATRE 227 Bridge St., Phoenixville, 610917-1228, thecolonialtheatre.com. First Friday Fright Night screening Halloween III: Season of the Witch

(1982, U.S., 98 min.): The underrated misfit in the Halloween franchise trades in Michael Myers for a sinister mask-maker, whose cursed creations kill the children who don them. Fri., Oct. 12, 9:45 p.m., $8. Scopitone Party! (U.S./Europe, 120 min.): A Secret Cinema screening of rare American- and European-produced ’60s music films, intended for the French “Scopitone” jukeboxes (distant ancestors of MTV). Sun., Oct. 14, 2 p.m., $8.

COUNTY THEATER 20 E. State St., Doylestown, 215-3456789, countytheater.org. Barton Fink (1991, U.S, 116 min.): The Coens’ surrealist noir examines a praised playwright turned reluctant screenwriter in his struggle to produce a successful script while facing down disillusionment, murder and the Hollywood studio system. Wed., Oct. 17, 7:30 p.m., $9.75. 2012 Bucks Fever FilmFest: Screening of the festivals’ winning short entries from local filmmakers — students and professionals alike. Sun., Oct. 14, 7 p.m., $10.

FREEDOM THEATRE 1346 N. Broad St., 215-765-2793, freedomtheatre.org. Radio personality Tim Greene (Radio-One Philly, WPHI) and local filmmaker Ayanna McMillan present a double feature screening of their recent work. Supa Kidz (2012, U.S.) and The Re-Programmers (2012, U.S.) highlight good-clean-fun stories of inner-city kids teaming up to rid their streets of crime and drugs. In addition to the screening, Greene will host a free “Actors Workshop” for young artists aspiring to careers in the entertainment business. Sun., Oct. 14, 4 p.m., free.

[ movie shorts ]

MOSAIC AT THE MOVIES Temple University, 821 Anderson Hall, 114 W. Berks St., temple.edu. Fat Girl (2001, France, 86 min.): A not-so-typical family vacation flick (well, maybe more so in the French art-house world); while traveling with their parents along the seaside, sisters Anaïs and Elena share differing views on their respective virginities. When they cross paths with Fernando, their abstract opinions are made flesh. Tue., Oct. 16, 5:30 p.m., free.

RAVE MOTION PICTURES 4012 Walnut St., 215-386-9800, ravemotionpictures.com. Shakespeare’s Globe Theatre: All’s Well That Ends Well (U.K., 138 min.): Special one-night-only screening of the Shakespeare’s Globe troupe, performing the Bard’s famed problem play. Thu., Oct. 11, 6:45 p.m., $12.50.

THE ROTUNDA 4014 Walnut St., 215-573-3234, therotunda.org. Get your freak on in this double feature of silent cult gems from sideshow auteur Tod Browning. The Unknown (1927, U.S., 63 min.): A fugitive-turned-carny (Lon Chaney) contends with his strongman peer for the heart of Nanon (Joan Crawford), the sexually frustrated daughter of the circus owner. The Unholy Three (1925, U.S., 86 min.): Lon Chaney returns, this time as a ventriloquist who escapes the circus life with his muscle-man and mini-man brethren to start a life a crime. Each film will feature live music accompaniment from shoegaze/folk-punk locals Lincoln vs. The Moon. Thu., Oct. 11, 8 p.m., free.

WOODMERE ART MUSEUM 9201 Germantown Ave., 215-2470476, woodmereartmuseum.org. Our Man in Havana (1959, 111 min.): Alec Guinness stars as a vacuumcleaner salesman turned British spy. Tue., Oct. 16, 7 p.m., $5.

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These days Nadia Ali is the Queen of Clubs (or at least that’s what she called her 201011 remix trilogy), but it wasn’t a straight shot to dancefloor royalty. The Pakistani American first gained popularity back in 2001 as the vixen-ish vocalist of NYC EDM act iiO, known for “Rapture” and “Is It Love?” Ali went solo with Embers in 2009, an album that featured everything from elegant ballads to Middle Eastern-tinged

songs, but again it was the daring dance tracks like “Love Story” and “Fantasy” that made her rep. Since then, she’s gone full electronic, teaming with the programmer/producer/DJ likes of BT, Armin van Buuren, Stephane K. and the loopy Starkiller (who join Ali on tonight’s trip).

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earlier — and upon arrival the husband informed the wife he had met someone else and she should find her own way home.” Rosenberg, who also stars in Alp D’Huez opposite Jennifer Summerfield, was shocked and “tried often to imagine the hell she must have experienced that day.” The theatrical entrepreneur, who produces plays in a Kensington neighborhood arts center, sets the action at the 2004 Tour de France and calls the play “an exploration of strange passions people have, the connections they make with other like-minded people, and the willingness to abandon love for a shared connection.”

CHARLIE GROSS

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portioncontrol By Adam Erace

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YOLK LORE

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MERCER CAFE | 2619 E. Westmoreland St., 215426-2153, mercercafephilly.com. Open Mon.Fri., 8 a.m.-4 p.m.; Sat., 8 a.m.-3 p.m.; Sun. 8 a.m.-2 p.m. Breakfast, $4.95-$13.95. ³ PORT RICHMOND’S MERCER Cafe hasn’t

MEMORY LANE: Jose Garces travels to Ecuador, Spain, Cuba, Peru and Mexico in his latest cookbook. NEAL SANTOS

[ bookshelf ]

HOMECOMING KING Equal parts travel guide and cookbook, Jose Garces’ The Latin Road Home tells the tale of five places that inspire the chef, both at home and in his restaurants. By Caroline Russock

“

here is no better way to travel than to eat, and there is no better way to eat than to travel.” Imagine touring Spain, Ecuador, Peru, Mexico and Cuba with the author of these words, Jose Garces, as your guide, hand-selecting all your meals, making sure that you come away from each stop having tasted the best each destination has to offer. Although this is not a tour that’s available, at least not to the general public, Garces’ latest travelogue-cookbook, The Latin Road Home, creates a similarly vibrant More on: sensory experience. “Those who know me joke that as soon as I start planning a vacation, they start researching the cuisine of the place,” says Garces in an email to City Paper. “Because they know I’ll be coming back with new recipes to try — and perhaps an entirely new restaurant concept.” Garces’ journey includes a host of international detours and, with them, the taste memories that shaped his stable of restaurants. Beginning with Garces’ grandmother, Mamita Amada, the chef’s path into the kitchen started at an early age, and led to a career that included internships in Spain discovering the dishes that

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now grace the menus of Amada and Tinto. Cuban cuisine comes into play via Garces’ wife, Beatriz, whose family hails from the Caribbean island. Meanwhile, Mexico and Peru are two locales that serve as constant inspiration, whether enjoyed in taco form at Distrito or via Chifa’s bright ceviches. Latin influence is a theme that shines through in all of Garces’ ventures, and a few key ingredients tie these diverse culinary cultures together. “Latin cuisine,” he writes, “wherever you are, tends to employ rice, so knowing how to work with rice is a critical skill for any would-be Latin chef. Chiles, too, turn up a lot, and many different ways: hot and spicy, lending pop to ceviches; roasted and ground into pastes, for depth and richness and preserved by canning. Each country’s cuisine brings so much history, so many traditional ways of doing things, that while their roots may be similar, they are in fact entirely distinct.” Rice and chiles are two elements that come into play again and again by way of Moros y Cristianos, hearty MORE FOOD AND Cuban black beans and rice, and canguil, DRINK COVERAGE chile-flecked popcorn from Ecuador. AT C I T Y P A P E R . N E T / Garces has organized the recipes within M E A LT I C K E T. The Latin Road Home into complete meals, shared experiences meant to evoke the destinations that inspired them. Each country’s chapter comes complete with not only cocktails and dessert recipes, but a map and travel crib sheet. So while a trip to Lima with Garces might not be happening anytime soon, traveling the pages of Garces’ recipes like lomo saltado, a Peruvian soy-stir-fried beef dish, provides an avenue to the Latin road home, wherever your home may be. (caroline@citypaper.net)

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been around forever. It just feels like it. Mercer’s always-been-here vibe crescendoes during weekend brunch, when locals in their Sunday best (Eagles jerseys) fill the retro-looking counter’s black-padded swivel stools and cheery waitresses proffer “eggs Flo” (Florentine) with piping joe. It’s hard to believe this spot just opened in 2000. A certain Mrs. Mroz ran a variety store and soda fountain in Mercer’s digs back when brothers Tom and Bobby Woltjen were growing up in Port Richmond. Bobby acquired the building in 1995, and with Tom, a union carpenter, turned the space into an ice-cream counter and coffee shop. They brewed La Colombe and made breakfast sandwiches on Le Bus bagels, way ahead of the gentrification curve. Dina Woltjen (née Taconelli — yes, thatTacconelli), Tom’s wife, made roast pork and beef in the back, and, as Tom says, “In another year or so, we were blowing out the walls and putting in a full kitchen. We grew and grew and grew.” Grew the business, that is, not the cafe’s actual footprint, a cozy 49 seats. The Woltjen family packs ’em in for breakfast and lunch daily, but Mercer Cafe never feels too crowded, and the endearing staff, run by Tom and Dina’s daughter, Liza, is never far away with fresh coffee, syrup and smiles. Chefs Rob Lapelle and Jason Masino tackle the quick-coming tickets with aplomb. Sure, the baby spinach on my eggs Flo arrived half wilted and half raw, but the hollandaise flowed like honey and the eggs were perfectly poached. Tender asparagus and hunks of crab filled a hearty omelet veined with house-made pesto. Lavished in thick whorls, Nutella added its nutty chocolate power to high pillows of challah French toast dotted with strawberries. Mercer gets so much right. Bacon is thick. Home fries are crisp. But the greatest victory here is the cream chipped beef. “It’s my father’s recipe,” says Tom. “It’s got three ingredients: butter, heavy cream and beef.” Had he told me it was made exclusively of butter, I would have believed him. The S.O.S. bled liquid gold, conveying a richness that wouldn’t quit. This is not only the best chipped beef in the city, but probably in the world. Most restaurants have to clock 100 years to earn a claim like that. Not Mercer. But I’m betting it’s got a century in its future. I’ll be sure to send in my grandkids. And have them tell Liza hello. (adam.erace@citypaper.net)

rgaicr

[ bookshelf ]

DOWN BY THE RIVER By Caroline Russock

FROM THE

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Eat or drink anything good this weekend? We want to hear about it!

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ust across the Delaware River from New Hope, in Lambertville, N.J., Melissa Hamilton and Christopher Hirsheimer have established Canal House, â&#x20AC;&#x153;a studio, workshop, dining room, office, kitchen, lair, lab, and atelier devoted to good ideas and good work relating to the world of food,â&#x20AC;? as they describe it in an email to City Paper. For the past three years, the two women (yes, Christopher is a woman) have been self-publishing a series of gorgeous cookbooks titled Canal House Cooking. Each themed volume is full of beautiful photos, handpainted illustrations and recipes that convey a real sense of ease. And itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s this attitude that makes the Canal House series so appealing. When asked for advice to calm the nerves of anxious cooks, Hamilton and Hirsheimer respond with this sage advice: â&#x20AC;&#x153;If something goes wrong, keep on cooking, donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t get upset, just keep on cooking. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll be all right. If all goes wrong, order in Chinese.â&#x20AC;? Of course, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s easy to relax in the kitchen at Canal House, where summer days are spent potting herbs and tending to tomatoes, winter ones are warmed by a Franklin stove, and thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s always music playing in the kitchen. Hamilton and Hirsheimer cook together every day, shooting photos and designing recipes for their cookbooks, but at midday the two take a break, setting the table and enjoying a lunch together that is never rushed. The latest volume of Canal House Cooking is devoted to all things Italian, with recipes born in a Tuscan farmhouse that Hamilton and Hirsheimer rented. The recipes retain that wonderful Italian simplicity: ricotta gnocchi in a simple tomato sauce, sausage roasted with apples, Vin Santo-poached pears. Publishing at the end of the month, Hamiltonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s and Hirsheimerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s next collection is Canal House Cooks Every Day (Andrews-McMeel), a handsome red volume filled with 250 recipes inspired by the ladiesâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; daily lunch ritual. And although the cookbook is on a much larger scale than the demure volumes of Canal House Cooking, it is, according to Hamilton and Hirsheimer, â&#x20AC;&#x153;home cooking at its best â&#x20AC;&#x201D; by home cooks, for home cooks â&#x20AC;&#x201D; and itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s pure Canal House.â&#x20AC;? (caroline@citypaper.net)

Lunch buffet 7 days a week 11:30-3:30 Dinner a la carte Sun.-Thurs 5-10, Fri. & Sat. 5-11 Full bar • Catering available for all events $20 Dinner Special Sun.-Thurs. appetizer • entrée • glass of wine 114 Chestnut St • 215-925-1444 • karmaphiladelphia.com

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[ i love you, i hate you ] To place your FREE ad (100 word limit) ³ email lovehate@citypaper.net DEAR MIDNIGHT CONE STEALER You gotta get it through your thick skull that he wants NOTHING to do with you! You may think that making an appearance by walking infront of us every time we ride on the motorcycle is making him yearn for you...But it just makes you look like a desperate moron! Plus it show me how sexy your annorexic ass in NOT! So out of desperation one night you and your crummy neice; who can’t beat me up despite her trying in the sushi joint; come down our street and take the parking cone which was covered in roofing tar and nailed to the asfault! Meanwhile you’re blasting Barry White songs so we knew it was you! Come get the new cone bitch, I dare you! What a pathertic whore you are. Everyone laughs at you and can’t wait until your next stunt, you’re such a fool. Oh, and P.S. Next time you commit a “crime” don’t come around blasting Barry White at 2am!

faithful and I still didn’t try to inappropriately touch sexy ass dudes right in front of your face... but I could have just to make your sorry ass jealous. Cuz you know I got that swag and you cut your emo ass hair because some bitch told you to. So eat a dick, dickhead! Your nut ass just got housed, DICKHEAD!!!

PUZZLED EMOTIONS I love and hate you at the same damn time, you make me sick, but at the same time I wanna run to you and be held by you. Truth be told I fell in love with you after I gave birth to my son, you are my blessing and my curse. I hope one day, you’ll get

saying to myself I can’t wait to fuck you again... nobody understands how I feel about you...you are my hunny...

SMOKING LITTERBUGS!!! First off, I don’t give a Fuck that you choose to smoke—-It’s a Free County-Have a blast killing yourself—But don’t just toss the cigarette butt on the street or flick it out of your car or bike....it’s your trash...extinguish (By any means necessary) it and discard in a proper way. It’s funny how some of you will pick up your dogs shit yet toss lit cigarette butts like granades all over the place!!! You’re the same people who will bitch and moan

HOW QUICK WE FORGET

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WHAT A NEIGHBOR Hey you stupid ass bitch...I can’t stand you and you know that already so why did you fake a smile at me then run over to the other neighbor house and say something about my child. You dumb fat bitch..if you were to have a baby they would have to cut his ass out of you..then you would be upset because you couldn’t take the pain...I hate some of you fat ass whores because you seem like you think that you are better than slim women and you aren’t so now here we go with the fat two of you... go eat a dick!

WHERE ARE YOU NOW?

Your stupid ass makes me the fuck sick you act like I am your own personal fucking ATM bitch you need to get it together...I hate you asking me for shit..I hate even more sharing my things with you when I shouldn’t have to. You have a big fucking family why don’t you ask them sorry mother fuckers for something...anything instead of asking me. I hate the fact that I can’t leave my shit around with your ass at my damn house. You like to take shit all the fucking time. You need to learn to respect me or your gonna fucking lose me. I really don’t want to deal with you already on this level but I gotta deal with you on another level, bitch you got the right one...it aint gonna happen. You need to stop calling me when you are in a bad fucking mood because your finances aren’t my problem!

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it didn’t make any sense that you we pumping me for a tip! I have a child also but I still was going to give you a tip you just had to be patient until I finished my meal, farted and then was ready to pay the fucking tab. But hope that I don’t see you again telling me the same bullshit, nobody cares about your situation.

I am really sick and tired of hearing you tell me your boyfriend is missing in action who really gives a fuck that he is gone. I don’t and I am really tired of hearing that he cheated on you with your sitter. You knew that they were having sex because you saw it with your own two eyes. Next time you and I cross paths I hope that I am in my car and you are walking across the street I am going to beep my horn so loud and stay on it until you finally turn around and notice that it is me. I hate your face your attitude and everything else about you! Just know that I know where your boyfriend is at all times. If he isn’t with me...guess what me and my girlfriend are sharing him...and we are loving every minute.

NOBODY CARES...

WHY?

I see your stupid ass every morning and I hear the same shit out of your mouth each time and frankly I am so fucking tired of it. Why do you do the things that you do. I am so not feeling your stupid ass. Can’t you stay the fuck home sometimes? Or someone is going to punch you in your face immediately...that is really what the plan is to punch you in your face and run for the hills. Ps: you still smell are you going to do something about that if and when!

Why is it every damn time I go into a store here the dumbass customers gotta start with the drama? They love to spread their drama around to the clerk other customers and anyone else dumb enough to fall into their trap. Look, just get your shit and go!

YOU ARE A FUCKIN WASTE

OH YOU THINK YOU’RE ATTRACTIVE NOW? Oh, ok. I see wht you think you’re doing...You really thought it was ok to be a total dick to me and then dump me through a text messge then 5 seconds later I see that you are in a relationship with some new bitch..this bitch looks like a tub of rotten foreskin covered up in lipgloss and cheap mascara. I guess sine I’m older than you, you thought that maybe you would have alittle bit more swag after dating someone a little hotter and a little cooler than you. You decided to flirt your way through school and swear you are hurting someone, but really you are hurting yourself while I’m laughing at your clown ass and moving the hell on....how many bitches have you been with since that ugly trash whore found out you game? None. And how many dudes have been chasing me since day one, even while I was trying to support your nut ass? To many to count. That just goes to show how much persoanlity I have compared to you. And I still was

it together because my son needs a man not a boy that wants to tun the streets, get it together before you lose me. Sincerely Irked.

SEXY FUCKING SONG This song is really geting to me...I can’t wait to see you and play games around the house like kissing in the dark and having sex until we get stone cold tire..like we did the other night..you wore me the fuck out...I really love making love to you and when this song play I go into my own zone picturing you touching my body and kissing my pussy with those soft lips...I keep moaning and

about someone else’s spending habits (How could you pay that much for a Concert? Your cable bill is how much? Isn’t that drink expensive? etc...) Yet, some will pay $ 20 A DAY (That’s about $ 600 a MONTH for all of you who can’t do the Math/7200 a YEAR)...Again, that’s fine—But don’t toss your bad habit out on our City Streets, Jerkoffs!!

You are a dumb dude...I am not going to keep looking the fuck out for you and you can’t even do half the things that I ask you to do...what is that about...then you turn around and be nice to me when it is the fuck going to benefit you stop fucking asking me for shit! I am so fucking tired of you and I can’t wait until you get your first fucking check because then you would be off my bandwagon and finding your own! I am so tired of you taking me for granted and when I say no to certain things you sit there and fucking keep asking me over and over again. I am so tired of you getting what you want and me get left lone not having anything. Go jump off the fucking roof already and die! Piece of trash!

WAITRESS IN RESTURANT You bitch how dare you sit there and tell me your situation of you having 2 kids just to pump me up to get a tip you make me fucking sick. I don’t understand what the hell that was about because

✚ ADS ALSO APPEAR AT CITYPAPER.NET/lovehate. City Paper has the right to re-publish “I Love You, I Hate You”™ ads at the publisher’s discretion. This includes re-purposing the ads for online publication, or for any other ancillary publishing projects.

20 ACRES FREE

Buy 40-Get 60 acres. $0 Down, $168/month. Money back guarantee. NO CREDIT CHECKS. Beautiful views. Roads/surveyed. Near El Paso, Texas. 1-800-843-7537. www.SunsetRanches.com ATTEND COLLEGE ONLINE

Adoptions ADOPTION

Are you pregnant? A married couple (in their 30s) seeks to adopt. Full-time mom & devoted dad. Financial security. Expenses Paid. Ann & Michael. 1-800-505-8452.

from Home. *Medical *Business *Paralegal *Computers *Criminal Justice. Job placement assistance. Computer available. Financial Aid if qualified. Call 888-220-3984 www. CenturaOnline.com.

Special Price! $45/hr. Call (215)-873-4835. 1218 Chestnut St.

Public Notices AIRLINE CAREERS

begin here-Become an Aviation Maintenance Tech. FAA approved training. Financial aid if qualified-Housing available. Job placement assistance. CALL Aviation Institute of Maintenance 888834-9715. GET TESTED FOR 7 STD’S,

$168. Order and test the same day. Results usually within 72 hours. FDA approved labs. ItsDiscreet.com *REDUCE YOUR CABLE BILL!*

Get a 4-Room All-Digital Satellite System installed for FREE and programming starting at $19.99/mo. FREE HD/DVR upgrade for new callers, CALL NOW. 1-800-925-7945. SAWMILLS

SAWMILLS from only $3,997MAKE MONEY & SAVE MONEY with your own bandmill-Cut lumber any dimension. In stock ready to ship. FREE info & DVD: www.norwoodsawmills. com/300N 1-800-578-1363 Ext. 300N.

WE BUY VINYL LP COLLECTIONS

Cash Paid. We Pick Up. We buy Rock, Jazz, Blues, Reggae, Modern Composers, World Music. Contact 212591-2105 / starry@starrynightrecords.com

Lessons & Workshops AIRLINE CAREERS

B E C O M E A AV I AT I O N MAINTENANCE TECH. FAA APPROVED TRAINING. FINANCIAL AID IF QUALIFIEDHOUSING AVAILABLE. JOB PLACEMENT ASSISTANCE. CALL AVIATION INSTITUTE OF MAINTENANCE 877-4923059.

Business Opportunity BUSINESS OPPORTUNITIES

Franchise Opportunity Inside Major Retailer. Call for Details: 866-622-4591. Or Email: franchiseopportunity@hotmail. com

Automotive Marketplace

Health Services

CASH FOR CARS

HEALTH/MEDICAL

***Buy The Pill! Cialis 20mg. Viagra 100mg. 44 pills for only $99.00 Discreet shipping. Satisfaction guaranteed. Call Now 1-888-763-6153.

rentals

ROBERT JONES

AND

WHY R U RENTING? BUY NOW!

Home prices and interest rates are incredibly low.You may think you can’t afford a home, but I’ll bet there are many homes you can qualify for and your payments would be about the same as your rental payments! Give me a call. I can show you, with your monthly income, what you may qualify for. If you haven’t prequalified with a lender, we have in-house mortgage consultants that can quickly review your income and credit history and let you know if you can buy a home! What’s to lose? Just that noisy neighbor on the other side of your living room wall! Call me... We are local and one of the oldest real estate firms... Call me now! Bill at 484-2575110 or contact me by email at Bill@skymountainsellshomes. com Check out our website at http://skymountainsellshomes. com/ and there you can search homes for yourself! Whatever you do... contact me! NOTE: If for any reason the site is not working, you can call me, or try the site in a day or so.

Land/ Lots for Sale LAND FOR SALE

Cameron County- 7 acres with stream and State Forest frontage north of Emporium on RT 155. Perc,electric, public road access, $59,900. Owner financing. 800-668-8679. LAND FOR SALE

Lake Property, NY: 6 acres Salmon River Lake $29,900. 7 acres 100’ on bass lake $39,900. 4 lake properties open house September 29-30 www.LandFirstNY.com 1-888683-2626.

Resort/ Vacation Property for Sale VACATION RENTALS

OCEAN CITY, MARYLAND.

ALL OTHER UNKNOWN BIOLOGICAL FATHERS

Apartments for Rent

/s/Sheila Studdard Clerk, Superior Court of Fayette County Notice Prepared By: William E. Turnipseed Georgia Bar 720125 Attorneys to the Petitioners, Savell & Williams, L.L.P. 2700 Harris Tower / 233 Peachtree Street Atlanta, GA 30303 (404) 521-1282 / (404) 584-0026 (fax) wet@savellwilliams.com 181941-0001

jobs

NORTHERN LIBERTIES

2 bdrm trinity at 944 C. North Orianna St. AC, fireplace, garbage disposal, HW floors, WD hookup, private courtyard, intercom. $950+ Utils. Call Bob: 215-520-1232

Homes 352 CANTRELL STREET (PENNSPORT)

Newly Renovated, Modern 2 Bedroom Home. New: Kitchen, Bath, Hardwood Floors.Washer/Dryer, Fridge! $950/month. Call Pete: 267-307-0371 44TH AND SPRUCE

Lrg. 6 bdrm house avail. 11/1, HW flrs., parking, laundry, great backyard, pet friendly, Lrg deck, front porch. $2,000/ month. Please call 215-3874137 ext. 100. AVAILABLE NOW 2-4 BEDROOM

Homes Take Over Payments No Money Down No Credit Check Call Now 1-877-395-0321.

Roommates ALL AREAS-ROOMATES. COM

Browse hundreds of online listings with photos and maps. Find your roommate with a click of the mouse! Visit: http://www. Roommates.com.

Rental Wanted APARTMENT WANTED FOR MYSELF!

I am currently looking in Center City a one or two bedroom, efficiency or studio 1st floor Older male. Ask for Christian 267-592-7181.

Help Wanted ACTORS/MOVIE EXTRAS

Needed immediately for upcoming roles $150-$300/day depending on job requirements. No experience, all looks, 1-800-560-8672 A-109 for casting times/locations. HELP WANTED DRIVER

AV E R I T T K E E P S YO U R WHEELS ROLLING! Hiring CDL-A Drivers and Recent Grads. Great Benefits. Weekly Hometime & Paid Training. Apply Now! 888-362-8608. AVERITTcareers.com Equal Opportunity Employer. HELP WANTED DRIVER

CDL-A Truck Drivers: Experienced Van Driver Needed. Take HOme More. Be Home More. Excellent Hometime. Award Winning Safety Program. Comprehensive Benefits Package! AA/EOE. 800-392-6109. www.goroehl. com HELP WANTED DRIVER

CLASS A DRIVERS: Regional Up to 42CPM. Wkly Pay. Benefits, Home Time. SIGN ON BONUS. Paid Orientation. 2 Years T/T EXP. 800-524-5051 www.gomcilvaine.com HELP WANTED DRIVER

Driver-$0.01 increase per mile after 6 months. Choose your hometime: Weekly, 7/ON-7/ OFF, 14/ON-7/OFF, Requires 3 months recent experience. 800-414-9569 www.driveknight.com HELP WANTED DRIVER

Drivers-A. Duie Pyle Needs Owner Operators & Company Drivers. Regional Truckload Operations. HOME EVERY WEEKEND! O/O Average

HELP WANTED DRIVER

Drivers-CDL-A DRIVERS NEEDED! $.50/mile for Hazmat Teams! Solos start @ $.36/mile. 1 yr. exp. req’d. 800-942-2104 Ext. 7308 or 7307 www.Drive4Total.com HELP WANTED DRIVER

Drivers: CRST offers the best Lease Purchase Program *SIGN ON BONUS! *No down payment or credit check *Great Pay *Class A CDL required *Owner Operators Welcome. Call: 866-403-7044. HELP WANTED DRIVER

Exp. Reefer Drivers: GREAT PAY/Freight lanes from Presque Isle, ME, Boston-Lehigh, PA 800-277-0212 or primeinc. com HELP WANTED DRIVER

Gordon Truckin. CDL-A Drivers Needed!...$1,500 SIGN ON BONUS...Refrigerated Fleet & Great Miles! Pay Incentive & Benefits! Recruiters available 7 days/wk! EOE 866-554-7856. HELP WANTED!!

Extra income! Mailing Brochures fro home! Free supplies! Genuine opportunity! No experience required. Start immediately! www.themailingprogram.com HELP WANTED!!

Extra income! Mailing Brochures fro home! Free supplies! Genuine opportunity! No experience required. Start immediately! www.themailingprogram.com $$$HELP WANTED$$$

Extra Income! Assembling CD cases from Home! No Experience Necessary! Call our Live Operator Now! 1-800-405-7619 Ext. 2450 http://www.easyworkgreatpay.com MOVIE EXTRAS

Actors, Models Make up to $300/day. No Experience required. All looks and ages. Call 866-339-0331.

Situations Wanted JOB WANTED LOOK!!!

I am looking for work...I am a General Helper that can do anything. You name it.... reliable dependable morning person. Christian 267-5927181.

Director - IT Architecture C3 Needed

NOAH MICHAEL BYUS

You are hereby notied that on the 20 day of July, 2012, a Petition was led in the Superior Court of Fayette County, Georgia to adopt a male minor infant born June 20, 2012, and known as Noah Michael Byus. A Motion has been led in conjunction with that adoption petition seeking to terminate your rights in and to the child in order that the persons to whom the biological mother surrendered her parental rights might adopt the child. Be advised that the prospective adopting parents are represented by William E. Turnipseed, Esq., Savell & Williams, L.L.P., 2700 Harris Tower, 233 Peachtree Street, Atlanta, Georgia 30303. Be further advised that the biological mother has identied you as the biological father. Be nally advised that you will lose all rights to the child and will neither receive notice nor be entitled to object to the adoption of the child unless within thirty (30) days of receipt of this notice you (1) le a petition to legitimate the child pursuant to O.C.G.A. § 19-7-22; and (2) le a notice of the ling of the petition to legitimate with the Superior Court of Fayette County, Fayette County Justice Center, One Center Drive, Fayetteville, Georgia 30214, in which the Petition for Adoption and Motion for Termination of Parental Rights are pending, Adoption No. 2012A-24, and to the below-listed counsel to the petitioners. This 20th day of July, 2012. th

If someone have available office room for rent, location in Center City Philadelphia or Surrounding Area or someone can share your office. Please contact: 267-593-8702.

Homes for Sale

NOTICE TO BIOLOGICAL FATHER TO:

OFFICE ROOM WANTED

$1.84/Miles. Steady, YearRound Work. Requires CDLA, 2Yrs. Exp. Call Dan: 877910-7711 www.DriveForPyle. com

CNO Services LLC has an opening for Director – IT Architecture C3 in Philadelphia, PA to be resp for IT archit & strat for Colonial Penn Bus Unit. Req Bach deg (or FDE) in Info Tech or rel Àd & 5 yrs exp in job offr’d or rel occ work’g telephony & mainframe integr for Chordiant based cust contact cent. All exp must include develop’g IT archit policies,standards&pr oced us’g the follow’g toos&technologies: Pegasystems CFS 6.4/6.5, CDM Rules Engines, CSC VantageOne and Gateway applications, DB2, oracle 10g/11g, MyEclipse, RAD7, Java, J2EE, JAXB, JMS, MQ Series, Avaya CTI, Aspect Dialer & Uni¿ed IP, JSF, CAFE, .NET portal, web services, subversion, PMD, FindBugs, EMMA, HP Quality Center, JUNIT, Cruise Control, ANT, UNIX, Windows XP/7, Informatica. Send resume to Maureen C. Lynch CNO Services, LLC, 11825 N. Pennsylvania Street, Carmel, Indiana 46032, please refer Job Ref. #AG12.

Phila Flea Markets Presents:

!N !NTIQUE 6INTAGE -ARKET !T (EAD (OUSE 3QUARE This Sat, Oct 13th 9AM til 5PM Under The Pavilion At Head House Square 2nd & Lombard Streets Vendors Featuring Antiques, Collectibles, Vintage Furniture, Jewelry, Glassware, Pottery & Much More! For Our Entire Indoor / Outdoor Schedule Log Onto:

www.PhilaFleaMarkets.org

P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R | O C T O B E R 1 1 - O C T O B E R 1 7 , 2 0 1 2 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T | 47

ANY CAR/Truck. Running or Not! Top Dollar Paid. We Come to You! Call for Instant Offer. 1-888-420-3808 www. cash4car.com

real estate

Real Estate Marketplace

classifieds

REGULAR MASSAGE THERAPY

Best selection of affordable rentals. Full/partial weeks. Call for FREE brochure. Open daily. Holiday Real Estate.1-800-6382102 Online reservations: www. holidayoc.com.

the naked city | feature | a&e | the agenda | food

market place

Business Services

food | the agenda | a&e | feature | the naked city classifieds

everything pets pets/livestock Please be aware Possession of exotic/wild animals may be restricted in some areas.

GOLDEN RETRIEVER PUPS - AKC reg., Penn Hip cert., parents, 1st shots/W, vet records. $750. 3 M. avail. 610-209-0248 JACK RUSSEL / TOY FOX TERRIER Cross Puppies - Very cute and playful! Farm raised. Ready now for $225. 610.273.9098

Keeshond schrocks Pups AKC shots & wormed. 12 wks old. $600. 443-480-1332 Kittens: Persian, Himilayan, CFA, all shots, PKD negative, $850. 717-865-6148

American Bulldog pups, NKC reg., M & F, 1st shots, $1200. Call (609)963-5629 AMERICAN BULLY Pups ABKC, Registered, shots, wormed, vet checked. Nice markings. Starting price $650. Family raised. Call 717-529-3715

BORDER TERRIER PUPPIES - Males, home raised, house broken. Call 717-921-8617

48 | P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R |

O C T O B E R 1 1 - O C T O B E R 1 7 , 2 0 1 2 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T

Boston Terrier Puppies starting at $400 www.LancasterPuppies.com

BOXER PUPPIES - AKC, vet checked, shots, dew clawed, $850. 717-933-4160 Cavalier Spaniel 3 YEAR OLD TRI-COLOR MALE $500. 215-549-7004

Labradoodle Mini pups, black, avail. Oct 2nd. M $700, F $850. (717)587-4186

LABRADOR PUPPIES, sired by a champion, OFA/PennHip/CERF 215-287-7558 PITBULL FEM - 8 mo, Blk & wht, Fem 6 mo brown. $75 ea. 215-254-0562 Poodle MINI AKC CH SIRE BEAUTIFUL BLK FM pup VET CERT $950. 215.536.5516 Rottweiler German pups, AKC, shots, tails clipped, 4F/4M $550. 267-270-5529 Rottweiler Pups AKC,Hme-Rais’d, health records, puppy kits,friendly, 717-271-8766 Rottweiler pups, AKC, shots, wormed, vet checked, very playful, farm raised with children, $800. (717)529-3772 ext. 1

Rottweiler pups, exc. lines, M $900, F $800, ready now, Daniel 717-989-3320

Shih Tzu 10 week Male Shih tzu $350 obo. 215-806-3051 DOBERMAN PUPS - Rare blue, AKC, int. champ blood, exc. pedigree given w/ pup, tails and dews done, home rasied, parents on prem. $700/ea. Call 302-328-4055

English Bulldog pups, AKC, shots, wormed, & vet, $2000 & $3000. 267-567-3667

German Shepherd mix pups, vet chkd, shots, wormed, good temperment, black, tan w/white, ready 9/27, Female $200, Male $250. 717-548-4644 ext. 1 GERMAN SHEPHERD pups, AKC, European bloodline, 10 weeks, shots, wormed, vet checked, $450. (717)529-6444

Shih Tzu Pups - Health guar., reg., rare blue & white M, $480. (302) 897-9779 SHIH TZU PUPS - M/F, gold / white,playful, loving pups. 267-797-0579 St. Bernard AKC $500 2 males. family raised Parents on Prem. all shots/ vet exam, call 856-451-5920 ask for Sam West Highland Terrier Puppies for Sale! Ready for their new homes today! see them at www.LancasterPuppies.com

Yorkie Pup - AKC, reg. Male, vet checked, home raised, $550. Call 215-490-2243 Yorkie Pups, AKC, M&F, tiny and cute, great family pet. $850. (610)331-8233

GERMAN SHEPHERD Wht male 8mo, frndly, crate trained. $350. 215-254-0562 GERMAN SHORT HAIR POINTER Pup AKC, 1 Male, 9 weeks old. $500. 215-331-1460 or 215-301-5447

Golden Ret. Pups - AKC, champ lines, adorable. $500/F, $400/M. 610.286.5373

Coins, Currency, Gold, Toys,

Trains, Hummels, Sports Cards. Call the Local Higher Buyer, 7 Dys/Wk

Dr. Sonnheim, 856-981-3397

BRAZILIAN FLOORING 3/4", beautiful, $2.75 sf (215) 365-5826 CABINETS SOLID MAPLE Brand new soft close/dovetail drawers Crown Molding. 25 colors. Overstocked. Cost $5,300. Sell $1,590. 610-952-0033 CHECK CASHING BOOTH 6 steel panels, 8 ft tall. 5 w/ windows. 4 mesh panels. 4 drawers, counters, & two doors. $9000 obo 610-356-2291 or 610-742-9977 Diabetic Test Strips needed pay up to $15/box. Most brands. Call 610-453-2525 Pinball, shuffle bowling alleys, arcade video games, jukeboxes 215.783.0823

I Buy Anything Old...Except People! antiques-collectables, Al 215-698-0787 JUNK CARS WANTED We buy Junk Cars. Up to $300 215-888-8662 Lionel/Am Flyer/Trains/Hot Whls $$$$ Aurora TJet/AFX Toy Cars 215-396-1903

BD a memory foam mattress/boxsprIng brand new queen cost $1400, sell $299; king cost $1700 sell $399. 6 1 0 - 9 5 2 0033. Beautiful New Cherry Sleigh Bed, all sizes. Cost $2,100. Sell $199. BED: New Queen Pillow Top Set $150 . twin, full, king avail. Del avl 215-355-3878 Bedroom Set 5 pc. brand new $399 All sizes, Del. Avail. 215-355-3878

3rd & Chestnut 1br $950+utils 2nd floor, very private, (609)214-0577

apartment marketplace

Generous Reward!

LOST DOG, small black & white Male Shih tzu near 71st & City Line. Owner grieving. 215-477-7813

Equipment from four dental suits. Midmark chairs, casework and more! Excellent condition. Call 814-591-1236

School Police hat w/badge missing, please return to Washington HS, Officer Thurmond.

2013 Hot Tub/Spa. Brand New! 6 person w/lounger, color lights, 7 ft, Waterfall. Cover. Never installed. Cost $6,400. Ask $2,950. Can deliver. 610-952-0033.

SPA: 6 person, like nw + deck, accessories, cost $6700, sell $3995. 215.206.5979

LOCUST/22nd Bi-Level $1360 utils incl. 2 FP’s, jacuzzi, mod. kit., granite tops & s/s appliances, priv. yard, 215-567-7169

15th and Snyder Studio Apt newly renov. Must See 215-885-1700 18xx S. 22nd 2br $700 2nd flr., 1mo. sec. 215-463-2403

70xx Greenway Ave. 2BR $775 incls. heat & water, fridge. 267-600-9569 S. 57th St. 3BR $765 1st flr, newly renov., 267-902-9269 SW Phila. 19143 1br $600 heat, elec, water incl, 267-432-9259

63rd & Girard 2br $700+utils 3rd floor, 1st, last & sec. 610-348-1196

33&45 RECORDS HIGHER $ REALLY PAID

8xx N 64th 2br $765+utils newly renov, ceramic tile kit & ba, new: crpts, stove & 2 ceil. fans, 267-258-3543 8xx Wynnewood 1Br $700+utils 1mo. sec. 2mo. rent. Call 610-368-4779 Studio 1, 2 & 3br Apts $650-$895 www.perutoproperties.com 215.740.4900

2640 Daphne Rd. 2BR/1BA $850 Hdwd flrs, garage, W/D. 215-833-3920

Books -Trains -Magazines -Toys Dolls - Model Kits 610-689-8476

* * * 215-200-0902 * * *

65xx W. Girard 2BR $750+ sec dep, w/w crpts, W/D. 856-906-5216

58th & Cobbs Creek 2 BR $630+ utils newly renovated. Call 215-695-5194

** Bob 610-532-9408 ***

33 & 45 Records Absolute Higher $

Parkside / N. Phila Area 1br- 6br $700$1,600. Newly renov, new kitch. & bath, hdwd flrs, Section 8 OK. 267-324-3197 W. Phila 2, 3 & 4br apts Avail Now Move in Special! 215-386-4791 or 4792

1100 S 58th St. Studio, 1BR & 2BR Apts heat/hw incl., lic #362013 215-744-9077 1900 S. 65th St. 2BR Apt Newly renov, Lic #400451, 215.744.9077

1501 Belmont 1br/1ba $675+elec Patio, modern, close to transportation and park. Good references. Call 215-459-9035 2xx N. 59th St. 1BR $600 Utils incl. + cable. (267) 269-5349 41st & Girard/Parkside Nice 1 & 2BR’s $525-$595+. Call 215-431-6677 49th & Arch 1br $575+utils nwly renov, w/w, avail now 215.748.0850 512 N. 54th St. 1br $600 Kitchen. 267-709-2704 or 267-912-5942 58th & Lansdowne 2BR $600+utils Fresh paint. Avail Immed. 610-864-6315 58xx Addison 3br/1ba $780+utils 1st, last & security dep. needed, available immediately, Call (484)485-7985

WANTED: Rights to Phillies tickets, lower level Hall of Fame Diamond Club. Discrete purchase. Call 609-896-3666

Cobbs Creek Vicinity 1br $595+util quiet, newly renov, large rooms, EIK, conv. to public trans., all colleges & Center City, 1 mo. rent & sec, Call 215-880-0612

3940 Lankenau Ave. 2BR/1BA, $825+ utilis W/D, C/A, W/W. 267-307-1379 Balwynne Park 2br $810+ 1st flr, w/d, garage. Call 610-649-3836 Balwynne Park 2BR $850+utils W/D, C/A, W/W. Call 215-219-6409

BOSE 901 V1 series speakers, with eq. and metal stands, excellent condition, $350. 215-639-7646

WANTED EAGLES SBL’s Top dollar paid ! 610-586-5500

apartment marketplace

49th & Florence 2BR $675 open porch,1st flr, new renov215.472.3514

LAB pups, AKC reg., 8 weeks old 1st shots , $600. Call 856-562-7781

CHIHUAHUA pup, 1 M, 3 mo. old, house trained, $250 & 1M Chihuahua pup, 6 wks old, blk & brown $400. 215-425-1897

COLLIES PUPS or ADULTS - Excellent quality. Millville, NJ (856) 825-4856

merchandise market

Fairmount Terrace Apts 3601 Conshohocken Ave. Studio, 1br & 2br, Open Sun. 0ct. 14, 9a-2p OR Call Amanda for appt. 215-477-6814

1500 N. 27th St. 2BR/1BA $750 Split level, hdwd flrs. Call 267-971-4291 1641 W Lehigh Ave. 1BR All Util Incld Newly renov. 215-744-9077, Lic #374062 25xx N 33rd St 2br $400+utils LR, kitch & bath. 215-225-9314 31st & Lehigh 1 BR $555+utils 2nd floor, $1665 move in. 215-424-3419 3208 W Cecil B Moore Ave 2br $575 freshly painted, 1 & 1/2 months security dep & 1st month rent req. 215-828-6651

1,2, 3, 4 Bedroom FURNISHED APTS LAUNDRY-PARKING 215-223-7000 16th & Cecil B Moore 3br/1ba $1200/mo renov., hdwd flrs, w/d, c/a. 267-971-4291 BROAD ST. Efficiencies $575 On campus, furnished/unfurnished, utils incl, newly renov. Call John at 215-236-1612 or 302-345-6334

N. Bouvier St. 1br/1ba $600 N. Bouvier St. 4br/2ba $900 Fully ren., everything new, beautiful block, close to Temple Hosp. 732-993-3634

Rosewood 1br $650+utils large, c/a, 1 mo. dep. & sec 917-650-6855

Camac St. 1br Apts. $475-$575 wall/wall carpets. Call (215) 329-3013

213 E Sheldon St 1BR 1BA, $700/mo 1st/ last/sec. Utils incl. 267-971-8514 58XX N. Camac 1BR $580+utils 2BR $700+utils Renovated, 267.271.6601 or 215.416.2757

2xx W Haines 2br $475+utils LR, kitch & bath. 215-225-9314 4617 Wayne Large Efficiency $480 heat & hot wtr inc. EIK, 267-756-0130 4617 Wayne Large Efficiency $480 heat & hot wtr inc. EIK. 267-756-0130 5030 Greene St. 1BR $500 Tenant pays utilities. Call 267-625-6189 5220 Wayne Ave. Studio, 1Br on site lndry, 215-744-9077, Lic# 507568 56xx Sprague St. 1BR $500+utils newly renovated, call 215-260-6511 607 E. Church Lane 1BR nr LaSalle Univ,215.744.9077 lic#494336 6261 E. Wister St. Effic. $550 1mo. rent + 1mo. sec. Call 215-290-3192 Logan, Mt. Airy & Germantown: 1 & 2 BR Starting at $675, newly renov., beautiful apts, close to transp. Call 215-740-8049

1300 block E Johnson St 2br/1ba $775 2 months security + 1st month’s rent. Duplex apartment, newly decorated, refrigerator, wall to wall carpet, attached garage, Call 215-224-2953 67xx Blakemore St. 1BR $700 1st floor. Call 267-255-1895 82xx Mansfield Ave. 2br $825/mo. 1st floor, attached garage, wall-to-wall carpets. Call 215-275-3774 Mt. Pleasant 2br $750+utils 2nd flr, bsmt storage, close to trans. & business dist, 1 mo rent, sec. 215.472.6147 Vernon Rd Sprague 1br $625 $640 2nd floor $640, newly renovated, Call 610-941-1543

1414 W. 71st Ave 1br $600 Utils incl. Close to trans & shopping. 215-574-2111 65xx Fairhill St. 1br $575+utils newly renov., 1st, last & sec. 215-817-0101

908 N. 29th St lrg 4BR close to Girard College 215-744-9077 City Line Area 2BR Apts beautiful, discount special, 215-681-1723

Godfrey Ave. & 18th 2Br/1Ba $700 + elec. & gas. Newly painted. No pets. Rear parking. Fridge incl. Call 302-464-2563

28xx Frankford Ave 1br Call 856-235-8905

$500

25th & Clearfield, Hunting Park & Castor, 55th & Gerard, 15th & Federal, 1BR apt at 62nd & Vine. Share Kitch. & Bath, $350 & up, no securi ty deposit, SSI OK . Call 215-758-7572

28xx N 27th St: Furnished rooms, utils included, $100/wk, SSI ok, 267-702-7927 29xx N. 7th St. Rooms, $100-$125/wk or $400/month. Call 267-581-1331

16xx Wakeling 3BR $800+utils Hdwd flrs., renov. Call 215-284-5394

4400 Frankford Ave. 1BR & 2BR $500 1mo. security deposit. Call 215-760-9248 4670 Griscom St. 2BR Newly renov, Lic #397063, 215.744.9077 4840 Oxford Ave Studio, 1Br, 2Br Ldry, 24/7 cam lic# 214340 215.744.9077 ORTHODOX ST VIC Apts. & Rooms between $400 & $550/mo. 267-581-1331 Oxford Circle 1br $580 LR, kitchen, no pets. Call 267-979-0413

58xx Reach St. 1BR/1BA $650 Newly remodeled, Call 267-439-8425 ACADEMY/KNIGHTS 2br $825+utils 2nd flr, garage, bsmt, air. 267-342-1993 Bustleton & Haldeman 2br Condo $895 prvt balcony w/garden view 215.943.0370

Lawndale 1br & Studio starting @ $575 balcony, A/C, SPECIALS! 609-408-9298 Philmont 2BR duplex 1st flr $850+ C/A, bsmnt, w/w, garage, (215)752-1091

53xx N. Broad St. Room Full size bed, fridge, 27" TV, A/C. Call 267-49-6448 55/Thompson deluxe quiet furn $110wk priv ent $200 sec 215-572- 8833 5th and Wyoming. Large, newly renovated, W/W, furn. $95/wk 215-570-0301 6255 Limekiln Pike $125/week Room for rent. 215-549-2111 652 Brooklyn $125 week, $375 to move in Furn w/refridg, no kitch 215-892-7198 Broad & Olney lg deluxe furn room priv ent $145 wk. Sec $200. 215-572-8833 C & Roosevelt Blvd. Room in priv house, share bath, no kitchen, $100/wk, $400 move-in. 856-217-2477 after 10am

Germantown $100-$125/wk Furnished Use of house. Call 267-266-1156 Germantown Area: NICE, Cozy Rooms Private entry, no drugs (267)988-5890 Germantown,furn rms, renovated, share kitch & BA, $125/wk. 215-514-3960 Germantown & North Phila $350-$400 single occupant, clean rms 267-276-2153 Logan/WP/NP private entry, furnished, $85-$115/wk. also effic’y. 609-526-5411

WARMINSTER Lg 1-2-3 BR Sect. 8 OK 1 MONTHS FREE RENT!!! HURRY!! Pets & smoking ok. We work with credit problems. Call for Details: 215-443-9500

Norristown: Sweede & Jacoby 1br $780 renovated, 1st flr, bkyard (267)259-8449

MT. AIRY (Best Area) $130 & $140/wk Cable, SSI ok. Call 215-730-8956 NEW N. PHILLY ROOMS ONLY $75/WK FOR BRAND NEW RENOVATED ROOMS IN N. PHILLY CALL 267-973-2284 NICE CLEAN ROOMS 1750 N 25TH ST. $85WK/$325MO & UP, $100SEC, SHARED KIT/BTH, NO PETS 215.839.5188

N Phila - sr. citizen, single occ. $125/wk utils & cable TV, internet. 267-385-5932 Palm Beach - Ambassador Hotel. Charming Ocean Front retreat. 1, 2 & 3 Bdrm. Apts., Studios w/ balc, Salon, Spa, Pilates, Gym, Cabanas, Valet. Minutes to golf, tennis, marine sports and shopping. Specials on extended stays. 561-5822511. www.ambassadorpb.com

South Phila, 26 Oakford, $340$380/month. Please Call (267) 997-8142 South Phila furn room, fridge, renovated, no drugs. 215-465-3080 SW,N, W Move-in Special! $90-$125/wk Clean furn. rooms. SSI ok. 215-220-8877 SW Phila 6529 Linmore: Rms, incl cable & a/c, use entire house, kitch, LR, DR, absolutely No drugs/alcohol (267)228-4538

11xx N. 55TH ST. BRAND NEW BUILDING Single rms $400. Rms w/ bath & kitchen $600. fully furnished w/ full size beds, fridge, & dresser. SSI/SSD/VA, Payee services, Public assistance ok. Also SW, S., W., N., & Frankford. 267-707-6129 19xx Erie Ave, luxury rm, xtra clean, ideal for seniors, $85/wk SSI ok. 215-920-6394 20th & Allegheny: Furn. Luxury Rooms. Free utils, cable, iweb. 267-331-5382 20xx S. 60th $450mo. renov., incl. utils, close to trolley 11 & 13, 267.266.4904 22nd & Hunting Park lrg rm, new renov., wall/wall, furn. $100/wk. 215-570-0301 22nd & Lehigh Priv kit/ba. $150/wk $450 move in. No Drugs! (215)531-4852 22xx Frankford Ave $425-$550 SSI OK. 267-670-6689

SW Phila - Newly renov, close to trans. $100/wk 1st wk FREE, 267-628-7454 Temple area rooms, 36xx N. 21st, $450$550/mo. Cable avail. (267) 597-9085 TIOGA: Vic of Broad & Erie. Rms for rent, Seniors Welcome. $100/wk 215-226-0321 University City Rooms & Apts for Rent 215-382-2588

West Oaklane - Broad & 66th Ave. Furn. $175/wk. Utils. incld. Call 267-872-6649 WEST OAKLANE rooms for rent $450 furnished with cable. Call 215-847-9503

Norristown: Arch & Miner 3br/1.5ba $900. renovated, back yd (267)259-8449

Nazareth 3BR/2.5BA Twh $1550+dep Redclf, bsmt, 1 car car 1 yr lease cr & empl chk Avl Oct 1. 732-710-2553/ narenkis@hotmail.com

$400, Call 856-365-2021

GMC 2000 Savanna Luxury Hi-Top Conversion Van Excptnlly well maintd Sr Citizen Must Sacrifice $6975 215-627-1814

JUNK CARS WANTED 24/7 REMOVAL. Call 267-377-3088

A1 PRICES FOR JUNK CARS FREE TOW ING , Call (215) 726-9053

Cash paid on the spot for unwanted vehicles, 24/7 pick up, 215-288-9500

low cost cars & trucks Buick Luxury Riveria Coupe 1996 $3985 Last of the classics one of a kind. Please call 215-922-2165

Cadillac Coupe de Ville 1989 $1150 New insp., 106K, runs new. 215-620-9383 Chevy Brougham 1989 clean, classic, (484)574-1650

$1575

Dodge Stratus SE 2000 $1450 4dr., loaded, clean, 215-280-4825 Ford Expedition 2001 $3,900 Eddie Bauer, 4x4, loaded. 215-840-4860

Ford Freestar Van 2004 $4,500/OBO Good cond., auto., dual A/C, power windows/locks, cruise, keyless, V6, ABS, stereo CD, DVD enter. sys. 609.792.7032 Mazda Millennium 2002 $2,850 Gold, leather, CD , clean. 267.592.0448 MERCURY SABLE LS 2003 $2,475 Low miles, 1 owner, clean. 267.592.0448 Plymouth Grand Voyager SE 2000 $1950 All pwr, 1 owner, runs new 215.620.9383 Saturn SL1 1999 $1100 4 door, 5 speed, a/c, 38mpg 215.620.9383

Haddonfield 4br/3ba $2295+utils quiet area, EIK, deck, call (856)428-8447

resorts/rent

206 N. Simpson Street 3br/1ba $895 www.perutoproperties.com 215.740.4900

24xx N Gratz 3br $625 nwly renov., w/d, no pets, 215-559-9289

33rd near Cumberland 2br $800+utils newly renov., w/w carpets, 267-825-7132

Rising Sun & Blvd 2br $795 porch front, gas ht, yard (215)677-1888

BrierCrest 5BR sleeps 12. Saw Creek 3BR sleeps 8. Fall Special! Weeks and/or weekends. Call 609-587-9493

LOCUST LAKE 3BR/2BA $400-$625 Chalet, sleeps 9, minutes to casino & ski resorts. Call 609-722-1264

automotive

18xx W Pacific 4br/2ba Section 8 ok. Must See! 215-836-0720 39xx Delhi St. 3BR/1BA $750/mo. porch, yard. Call Carol at 610-872-1797

750 iL 2000 $8000 Sacrifice Silver/black leather, 12 cyl. auto, Absolute MINT cond, Call Jim 215-850-1362

Broad & Roosevelt 2BR & 3BR $700+ new renov., new carpet & kitch w/granite counter tops, Sec. 8 ok 215-463-6366

CORVETTE 1980 $15,500 OBO 350 auto, t-tops. 50K mi. 610-662-6323

4xx E. Penn St. 2br/1ba $800/mo. Call 267-625-9466 or 484-557-2369 6224 Clearview 3br/1ba $875 + utils Remod., w/d. Sec 8 ok, 215-499-2364

Civic EX 2005 $8199 4 dr, auto, VG cond, 117k, (609)386-9168

62xx N Norwood St. 3br/1ba $700+utils 1 mo. rent & sec., yard, EIK, 215.924.1910

CIVIC LX 2006 $9,900 74k miles, Atomic Blue, Excellent Condition, Call 215-872-4510

68xx Woolston Ave. 3br $825+utils newly renov., updated kitch & bathroom, hdwd floors, Call (609)702-8383

Jaguar 2003 2.5 X Type with sunroof, like new, original miles $5,985 215-928-9632

36xx Jasper St 2br $650 +utils nw paint, clean throughout 215-327-2292 LS460 2009 $38,500 Navig. package, 57K miles, 215-362-1217 FRANKFORD 2BR/1BA $695 Freshly renov., section 8 ok, rear yard. Call Tony (215) 681-8018 leave message.

21xx Shallcross 2br $775 w/w crpt, washer/dryer, 215-356-8717 5xx Rosalie 3BR $750+utils 40xx Maywood 3BR $750+utils Call 215-459-3564 9xx Granite St. 4br Section 8 OK. 267-587-7290 Adams Ave and Levick St 3br/1ba $875 Row Home. Call 267-991-2825

Camry LE 2006 $6950 loaded, 140k, 1 owner, 215-237-0109

21’ 2004 SUNLINE: Full kitchen & bath, awning & more, $7k/obo. (610)532-7243

East Oaklane furnished room, share house $450/inc util, sec req 215.549.0634

11xx S. Peach St. 3br/1ba $775 renovated, bk yard, bsmnt, 267-767-1794 1310 N 54th 4br/1.5ba $900 1st flr powder rm, yd, bsmt 267.767.1794 1335 N. Wanamaker St. 3BR/1BA $850 1st, last, 1mo. sec. req’d. 267-255-1895 15xx N. 55th St. 4br/1.5ba $1400 section 8 ok, hardwood floors, large kitch, newly remodeled, avail now 215.828.4804 21xx Cemetery Ave. 4br/1ba $875+utils Beautifully remodeled. Call 215-962-4277 3931 Brown St. 1br/1ba $500/mo. NO DRUGS! 2nd flr Call 267-259-0430 3Br Houses Sec. 8 Welcome Beautifully renovated. Call (267) 981-2718 429 N. 59th St. 3BR/1BA $850 1st, last, 1mo. sec. req’d. 267-255-1895 5xx N. Paxon St. 3br/1ba $800/mo. Call 267-625-9466 or 484-557-2369

Junk Cars & Trucks Wanted,

P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R | O C T O B E R 1 1 - O C T O B E R 1 7 , 2 0 1 2 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T |

73xx Sycamore Ave. 1br/1ba $800/mo. Call 267-625-9466 or 484-557-2369

Mt Airy, 61xx Chew Ave, Univ City, 41xx Popular $85-$125/wk, 215-242-9124

1414 S. 56th St. 3BR/1BA $950 3mo. sec. req’d. Garage. 267-255-1895 Elmwood area 3br $850+ utils Sec 8 welcome, 215-726-8817

Clifton Heights 3br/2ba $1400 newly renov. Townhouse, finished bsmt, nice neighborhood, Call (484)716-8823 Darby 3br/1ba $950+utils prch,yd,close shop & transp 610.696.2022 Media 107 Dundee Mews 3br/2.5ba TH $1990/mo. Finished attic/bsmnt, 40 min. to Philadelphia, Call 347-702-4001 Upper Darby 4-5br $1295+utils lg kit & LR, deck, porch, w/d hkup, hwd flr, close to major highway, 610-842-5996

Ford E350 2003 - Super Duty, 18 pass mini bus, new premium tires, SS wheels, orig mi, like new. B/O. 215-627-1814

classifieds

52nd & Race; 55th & Lansdowne, 48th & Lancaster, SSI welcome, 215-290-8702

15XX ETTING ST 3 BR w/w, porch Avail now! $650+. 215-680-7011

Cottman & Mayfair 3br/1ba $980+utils finished basement, garage, new: kitchen, bathroom, carpet, Call 732-438-0711 MAYFAIR 3BR $1050+ utils w/d, refrigerator incl., 215-421-9606 Mayfair 42xx Sheffield 3br/1.5ba $1095+ Twin, garage, sec 8 ok (215) 801-1304

the naked city | feature | a&e | the agenda | food

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50 | P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R |

CENTER CITY A R O U N D

T O W N

R E N T A L S

JUST WHAT YOU’RE LOOKING FOR!!!

GREAT LOCATIONS…ASK ABOUT OUR CURRENT RENTALS! WITH OVER 50 YEARS IN THE REAL ESTATE BUSINESS, NO ONE KNOWS CENTER CITY BETTER THAN THE TEAM AT MICHAEL SINGER REAL ESTATE.

We manage a wide range of apartment homes in great neighborhoods including: RITTENHOUSE SQUARE, OLD CITY, FITLER SQUARE, AND WASHINGTON SQUARE WEST

M I C H A E L

If you are looking for a Philadelphia apartment in a GREAT LOCATION, call Michael Singer Real Estate, the company that offers you an unparalleled combination of knowledge, selection and service.

S I N G E R

R E A L

215-925-RENT

1117 Spruce St. • Philadlphia, PA 19107 rent@msreco.com

www.michaelsingerre.com

E S TAT E

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billboard [ C I T Y PA P E R ]

OCTOBER 11 - OCTOBER 17, 2012 CALL 215-735-8444

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Building Blocks to Total Fitness 12 Years of experience. Offering personal fitness training, nutrition counseling, and flexibility training. Specialize in osteoporosis, injuries, special needs. In home or at 12th Street Gym. MCKFitness@yahoo.com

AWARD WINNING, WORLD FAMOUS CUSTOM STUDIO ARTISTIC TATTOOING!

Philadelphia Eddies 621 Tattoo Haven 621 South 4th St (Middle of Tattoo Row) 215-922-7384 Open 7 Days

FREE DRINKING SMARTPHONE APP!!!

City Paper is very pleased to bring you our very first smartphone app! Just go to www.citypaper.net and click our martini glass icon to find out more, or type in â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Happy Hours in the app store, android marketplace, or blackberry app world. Click the orange martini icon and get drinking. No matter where you go or when you go, you can find the nearest happy hours to you with a single click! You can even sort through bars by preference or neighborhood.

TOP PRICES PAID. No collection too small or large! We buy everything! Call Jon at 215-805-8001 or e-mail dingo15@hotmail.com

STUDY GUITAR W/ THE BEST David Joel Guitar Studio

17 Rotating Drafts Close to 200 Bottles

www.devilsdenphilly.com www.facebook.com/devilsdenphiladelphia www.twitter.com/devilsdenphilly

NEW AT THE EL BAR!!!

KENSINGTON HAPPY MEAL! EVERY DAY UNTIL 7PM 2 ALL BEEF HOT DOGS A PBR POUNDER A BAG OF CHIPS AND A TOY ALL FOR $5

ITâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S LOADS BETTER THAN THE OLD FALL MENU! ITâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S NEW (we mentioned that I know)

The BIZARRE BAZAAR!

Freaky Finds, Goofy Gifts, Vintage Values, Misc. Misc. An Eclectic Emporium of Everything Esoteric! Wonders from the 4 Corners of the Globe! 720 south 5th St, Thur-Mon: 12-7+

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WEEKDAYS 5-7PM

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All Styles All Levels. Former Berklee faculty member. Masters Degree with 27 yrs. teaching experience. 215.831.8640 www.myphillyguitarlessons.com

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Oh, and as always, hereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s on tap this week at the drinkery,... NESHAMINY CREEK TRIPEL FOUNDERS CENTENIAL IPA, ROY PITZ HEFEWEIZEN, LANCASTER SHOOFLY PORTER, EVIL GENIUS CHOCOLATE PUMKIN ALE, CRICKET HILL FALL FESTIVUS Watkins Drinkery Corner of 10th & Watkins Streets 215-339-0175

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525 West Girard Ave VINYL AND CD SPECIALISTS CLASSIC & MODERN GLOBAL SOUNDS HOUSE TECHNO DUBSTEP DUB DISCO FUNK SOUL JAZZ DIY PUNK LSD ROCK AND LIGHT HARMONY ROOTS BLUES NOISE AVANT AND MORE TUESDAY-SUNDAY 12-6PM 01-215-965-9616

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Healthy, College Educated Men 18-39 ~ $150/Sample WWW.123DONATE.COM

HAPPY HOUR AT THE ABBAYE $2 OFF ALL DRAFTS $3 WELL DRINKS $5 HAPPY HOUR MENU Only at the Abbaye 637 N. 3rd Street (215) 627-6711 www.THEABBAYE.net

200+ steel boned corsets in stock size S-8XL Rubber-Leather-KiltsMore by 26 designers. PASSIONAL Boutique 704 S. 5th St. Noon-10PM, 7 days a week www.passionalboutique.com

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With ad or coupon Frankinstien Bike Worx 1529 Spruce St Phila Pa 19102 215-893-0415

7&3: (00% â&#x20AC;&#x153;..#&&3 -*45 )"4 (308/ 50 &1*$ 1301035*0/4 ,*5$)&/ )"4 "%%&% "/ &953" #&-- 8*5) 1&3)"14 5)& $*5:Âľ4 #&45 '3*5&4 40.& 45&--"3 #&&3 #"55&3&% '*4) "/% 7&3: (00% .644&-4Âł Craig LeBan, Philadelphia Inquirer, Revisited April 2007

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