Philadelphia City Paper, November 22nd, 2012 by Philadelphia City Paper

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Publisher Nancy Stuski Editor in Chief Theresa Everline Senior Editor Patrick Rapa News Editor Samantha Melamed Web Editor/Movies Editor Josh Middleton Arts Editor/Copy Chief Emily Guendelsberger Food Editor/Listings Editor Caroline Russock Senior Writer Isaiah Thompson Staff Writer Daniel Denvir Assistant Copy Editor Carolyn Wyman Contributors Sam Adams, A.D. Amorosi, Rodney Anonymous, Mary Armstrong, Meg Augustin, Justin Bauer, Shaun Brady, Peter Burwasser, Ryan Carey, Mark Cofta, Jesse Delaney, Alison Dell, Adam Erace, M.J. Fine, David Anthony Fox, Michael Gold, K. Ross Hoffman, Brian Howard, Deni Kasrel, Gary M. Kramer, Drew Lazor, Gair “Dev 79” Marking, Robert McCormick, Andrew Milner, Annette Monnier, Michael Pelusi, Elliott Sharp, Tom Tomorrow, John Vettese, Julia West, Brian Wilensky Editorial Interns Darren Ankrom, Jessica Bergman, Nicole Black, Christian Graham, Elizabeth Gunto, Catherine Haas, David Spelman, Carly Szkaradnik, Andrew Wimer Associate Web Editor/Staff Photographer Neal Santos Production Director Michael Polimeno Editorial Art Director Reseca Peskin Senior Designer Evan M. Lopez Editorial Designers Brenna Adams, Matt Egger Contributing Photographers Jessica Kourkounis, Mark Stehle Contributing Illustrators Ryan Casey, Don Haring Jr., Joel Kimmel, Cameron K. Lewis, Thomas Pitilli, Matthew Smith Human Resources Ron Scully (ext. 210) Office Manager/Sales Coordinator/Financial Coordinator Tricia Bradley (ext. 232) Circulation Director Mark Burkert (ext. 239) Senior Account Managers Nick Cavanaugh (ext. 260), Sharon MacWilliams (ext. 262), Stephan Sitzai (ext. 258) Account Managers Sara Carano (ext. 228), Chris Scartelli (ext. 215), Donald Snyder (ext. 213) Marketing/Online Coordinator Jennifer Francano (ext. 252) Office Coordinator/Adult Advertising Sales Alexis Pierce (ext. 234) Founder & Editor Emeritus Bruce Schimmel

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contents Give me five!

Naked City ...................................................................................4 Holiday Gift Guide ................................................................11 Arts & Entertainment.........................................................30 The Agenda ..............................................................................37 Food & Drink ...........................................................................43 COVER ILLUSTRATION BY EVAN M. LOPEZ DESIGN BY EVAN M. LOPEZ

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naked

the thebellcurve

city

CP’s Quality-o-Life-o-Meter

[ -3 ]

Despite $7.1 million dollars spent over the last decade to upgrade Philadelphia Police technology, some cops are still using typewriters. “We like it this way,” says one cop. “It keeps things gritty and hard-boiled. Why, just look at this incident report about a mook publicly urinatin’ in plain sight of a dame outside neighborhood gin joint Dave & Buster’s.”

[ +2 ]

This year’s Philadelphia Marathon was billed as the greenest ever, with compostable drinking cups, nontoxic porta-potties and a Chevy Volt leading the runners around the course. And for next year they’re working on the logistics of doing it without the car.

[ -3 ]

The owners of Josie, the well-known parrot stolen from a porch in Nicetown, say she was likely taken by jealous haters. Bet it was those jerks from nearby Port Jealousy or Haterton.

[ +1 ]

North Philly drug dealer “Scarface Kev” gets 20 to 40 years for a 2008 incident in which he announced, “If you’re looking for me, they call me ‘Scarface Kev,’” before shooting a rival dealer. Witnesses recognized him because of his scarface. And the hat that says Kev on it. And also, the part where he said his name out loud right before he shot that guy.

[ +4 ]

In addition to reining in Philly’s scofflaw bicyclists, the proposed “Complete Streets” bill would fine drivers for parking in bike lanes and opening street-side doors without checking. “We will enforce these laws vigorously,” Police Chief Charles Ramsey says with a straight face.

[ -2 ]

Sixers center Andrew Bynum may have re-injured his already damaged knees while bowling. “It’s my fault for trying to play defense,” says Bynum.

[ +2 ]

The Rodin Museum says attendance is up thanks to renovations and the installation of the Barnes Museum nearby. “Of course, we don’t charge admission, so I guess it doesn’t matter,” sighs a Rodin docent. Then he strips naked, sits down and rests his chin on his knuckles. “Why don’t we charge admission?”

This week’s total: +1 | Last week’s total: +10

THE WORST OF TIMES: The past few years have been tough for Opal Gibson, who lost her job, her son and her health. Losing state-provided General Assistance, too, has made coping even more difficult. NEAL SANTOS

[ social services ]

NET LOSS Cuts rammed through the state legislature have left Philly’s already-ragged safety net in tatters. By Daniel Denvir

ut of all of Opal Gibson’s problems, losing $205 per month — the General Assistance payments she had received from the state until this August — is not the biggest. Gibson, 59, lost her job drawing blood at Einstein Hospital in 2010, soon after her son died falling from a three-story building while intoxicated; she lives with hepatitis C she thinks she contracted on the job; and she is recovering from drug addiction. But the end of General Assistance, consigned to oblivion by Gov. Tom Corbett and the Republican legislature this year, has made her problems much worse. “First, I lost my job at Einstein,” said Gibson, after pausing to say grace over an all-you-can-eat lunch at Old Country Buffet, tucked into a parking lot among Roosevelt Boulevard’s strip malls. “The stress was tremendous. I had just buried my son. Then I got depressed and I started drinking, drugging. Couldn’t pay my rent anymore — [you] know where my money went.” “After about three months, I was, like, ‘You know what? This isn’t for me. This is a loser way out.’ So I went and sought help.” Gibson, who has been clean and looking for work ever since, turned to cash welfare after 18 months of unemployment benefits ran dry. But thanks to Act 80, that small safety net has disappeared for her — and for 68,000 other Pennsylvanians who are disabled, victims of

domestic violence or recovering addicts, or who are caring for other people’s children. Corbett is known for his friendliness to big business and his cuts targeting the least advantaged, including nearly $1 billion cut from public-school funding and major reductions to community services for the disabled and poor. No program, however, had less influential supporters than General Assistance, which helped the state’s most marginalized. As the cuts were finalized, advocates warned the impact could be disastrous. Now, their predictions are beginning to play out: Organizations aiding the homeless are coping with an increased demand for services, the city’s fragile network of drug recovery houses are struggling to keep addicts off the street, and people like Gibson, already living on the edge, feel themselves being pushed over the brink. One woman told City Paper that she might return to prostitution for lack of other resources. Today, Gibson is one of three petitioners challenging the cut in a lawsuit filed by Community Legal Services of Philadelphia (CLS), the Disability Rights Network of Pennsylvania and a halfdozen service groups. Advocates are contesting the entirety of Act 80, which also tightens work requirements for mothers on welfare and pilots a policy of rolling seven line-item social-service funds into single block grants to counties. Providers worry they will be pitted against one another in a fight for funding — especially since the block grants were initiated as part of a 10-percent overall cut. People kicked off General Assistance, 92 percent of whom were

The predictions are now playing out.

>>> continued on adjacent page

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✚ Net Loss <<< continued from previous page

disabled, now have trouble finding money for rent, Medicaid drug prescription co-pays, transportation to Alcoholics Anonymous meetings, doing laundry and buying toiletries, says CLS attorney Michael Froehlich. And winter isn’t even here yet. “I suspect the real harm we’ll see in Philadelphia is when it starts getting cold.” ³ THE CORBETT ADMINISTRATION, which has blocked efforts

to raise taxes on natural-gas drillers, cited the state’s fiscal crisis in slashing programs. “The department had some very difficult decisions to make during the last budget negotiations,” says Department of Public Welfare spokesperson Carey Miller. The department focused cuts on state-funded services because rules block changes to federally funded programs like Medicaid and food stamps. “Welfare continues to grow at an unsustainable rate.” Philadelphia’s poor, however, contend that it is their lives that have become unsustainable. Stephan Chambers, a recovering drug addict at the Joy of Living recovery house in Frankford, is committed to piecing his life back together. But Chambers, who held down good jobs at UPS and Family Dollar before he fell into drugs and crime, has been unable to find a job. His record makes things worse. He thinks legislators “feel as though a lot of people is sitting around doing nothing. But I don’t think that’s true. … The unemployment rate is horrible.” For many, the program’s elimination came without warning. “I just didn’t get a check one day. That was it,” says Gibson. “Now, I don’t know how I’m making it except for the grace of God.” She is waiting to be approved for Social Security Disability Insurance, which she applied for in July. General Assistance in the past often provided a bridge for people stymied by a backlog in federal disability hearings; the state covered applicants in the interim,

and if they were ultimately approved, the state was reimbursed. Gibson continues a search for work and makes a little money caring for a friend’s dying father. She stays at another friend’s home. “Otherwise I’d be homeless right now. I’d be in the street, I’d be in a shelter again. And that would jeopardize my recovery. Not that I would go back out and use, but how much can one person take?” That’s a common refrain across the city’s often unregulated recovery houses, amongst the hardest hit by this cut. Joy of Living is, for now, allowing addicts to stay for free. “I’m just carrying a lot of people,” says owner Stephanie Scully. It’s unclear if she will be able to do so indefinitely. “What they don’t realize is if most of these guys hit the street again, they’re going to go back to doing exactly what they used do: rob, steal, cheat,” says Chambers. “Places like this help the crime rate stay down.” Those places might also have saved the state and city, which provide few services for addicts, a bundle of money. Pennsylvania spends an average of $42,339 per year on an inmate, versus $1,845 on General Assistance (plus a maximum $1,800 over the nine months in food stamps, and undefined costs related to medical insurance). The nearby Next Step recovery house had about 25 residents when City Paper visited in March. Addicts spent a month focused on recovery, restricted to the house, Narcotics Anonymous meetings and medical facilities. Now clients must get jobs and pay rent immediately. “We only have like eight clients for two months,” says owner Anthony Grasso. “Welfare killed us. A lot hung around for a month or whatever, but falling behind on their rent and not able to get a job, they left.” The destination is often, he says, drug

“They’re going back to crime.”

>>> continued on page 6

RAISING THE BARK ³ STEPHANIE SHERWOOD OF West Chester has been showing her Vizslas,

Hungarian pointers, for just three years — meaning she’s new enough to the allconsuming world of dog shows that she still laughs awkwardly when boasting that her 7-month-old puppy, Judit, is in the running for “winner’s bitch.” But at the Kennel Club of Philadelphia’s National Dog Show, which this weekend took over the Greater Philadelphia Expo Center at Oaks, that title is apparently high praise. The show is a 10-year Thanksgiving Day tradition on NBC. But what happens behind the scenes is, from a sociological perspective, much more fascinating. Dogs of all breeds are perched atop long rows of metal tables, scattered with blow-dryers and enough hair spray to stock a dozen beauty pageants. Patty McCallum of Barnegat, N.J., who has seven Samoyeds back home, looks up from an attempt to make her fluffy, white dog even fluffier. Showing, she admits is “an addiction. My kids went to college, and I had that empty-nest syndrome.” It costs only about $30 to enter the competition, but some owners spend much more. Sherwood notes that many hire pros to show their dogs, which makes it even harder for amateurs like her to win. Not far away, a long-suffering standard poodle named Dolly allows owner Michael Pawasarat of Richland, Pa., to pick at her elaborate ’do. “It’s basically a beauty contest,” Pawasarat says. He’s been showing 40 years; in that time, things have PET PROJECT: Michael Pawasarat has spent 40 years perfecting his grooming techniques for show changed dramatically. “Originally, it was to evaluate breeding styles,” he says. —Samantha Melamed dogs, like this DIY ’do for his poodle, Dolly. “Now, there’s a lot of Hollywood involved.”

CONTROL GROUP ³ THOSE WHO TACKLE the challenge of trying

to explain Philly like to call it “a city of neighborhoods” — but even they might be staggered by the number of “neighborhoods” newly represented by local Registered Community Organizations (RCOs), in accordance with the city’s three-month-old zoning code. The epic list of groups, in addition to longstanding civic associations, includes police-district advisory councils, political party ward committees, park groups and little-known upstarts. Each, as an RCO, now gets a say in what gets built where. “Confusing and overlapping jurisdictions” have become an issue, Jeff Hornstein of the Queen Village Neighbors Association told City Council’s Rules Committee last week, at a hearing about RCOs. “We were as excited as someone might be about something like zoning” when the code was enacted. But the association has seen as many as five different groups eating into its boundaries. “We believe there is perhaps too much inclusion.” Nonetheless, Councilwoman Jannie Blackwell has introduced legislation (one of an onslaught of tweaks to the fledgling zoning code) to relax, not restrict, the rules for becoming an RCO, and to put Council, whose control she feared was being eroded, more squarely in the middle of zoning conversations. “We’re elected to protect our citizens. We’re gonna be involved as long as we’re elected,” she said at the hearing. Her bill would let Council members stand in where there’s no RCO, and choose whether overlapping RCOs can hold separate hearings. Some worry that will work against the goal of the new zoning code: to peel away the red tape and make it easier to build in the city. Cedar Park resident Amara Rockar recounted to Council how a one-man civic group threw together an ad hoc meeting this summer in an attempt to derail a project that the area’s civic association had already supported. In any case, the current rules make assembling an RCO within easy reach for many. For example, a handful of residents along Hope Street in Kensington, who felt they weren’t well represented by the Norris Square Civic Association in a debate over the redevelopment of a blighted bank building, recently got together and launched Hope Street Neighbors for Better Living. It won RCO status.Those excluded, though, have been vocal. Ruth Bazemore, whose Haddington group hadn’t been approved, told Council: “It’s a violation of our rights.” Jihad Ali of Southwest Philly called the RCO clause a “Trojan horse” in the zoning code, “to take away the black people’s vote. You’re giving your power to non-elected people.” Now, Council just might take that power back. —Samantha Melamed

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hitandrun ³ news in brief

citybeat … gets zoned out

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<<< continued from page 5

corners and jail: â&#x20AC;&#x153;Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s so easy for them to go down and get a free sample from somebody and start it up. I had a lot of people go to jail for retail theft. Because theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re out boosting to get high.â&#x20AC;? Âł THE LAWSUIT TO overturn Act 80 alleges that the legislature ille-

gally rolled disparate measures into a single law, violating provisions of the state constitution requiring that legislation deal with only one particular issue, not change the billâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s original purpose after being introduced, and be debated on three separate days. Act 80 began as a simple bill intended to close a bureaucratic loophole (to â&#x20AC;&#x153;determine â&#x20AC;Ś [benefits] eligibility based upon the â&#x20AC;Ś applicantâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s place of residenceâ&#x20AC;?). After being debated, however, it was on June 29 gutted and turned into a wholesale dismantling of state welfare programs. It passed out of both the House and Senate by June 30. The original loophole-closing measure, bizarrely, had already been passed through a separate piece of legislation. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Mr. Speaker, I do not know how you can vote for something that you do not know what is in it,â&#x20AC;? state Rep. Mike Sturla (D- Lancaster) complained on the House floor. On June 30, Corbett signed the bill 15 minutes before the stateâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s fiscal year drew to a close at midnight. Lawmakers have often gotten away with such legislative tricks in the past. The controversial 2004 state gaming bill, for example, started out as a one-page bill that had to do with state police conducting background checks for horse-racing track workers and ended up legalizing casino gambling in the state â&#x20AC;&#x201D; via a 145-page amendment. But the courts have also ruled against such machinations, declaring that a bill dealing with the general topic of â&#x20AC;&#x153;municipalities,â&#x20AC;? for example, was too broad to be considered a single subject. But the fate of the Act 80 lawsuit isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t clear. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I would still think it was a hard argument to win because the courts have interpreted

Celebrate Sweet Traditions

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single subjects so broadly,â&#x20AC;? warns Duquesne University Law School professor Bruce Ledewitz. But, he argues, â&#x20AC;&#x153;If we really cared about what the constitution says, [the petitioners] would clearly win.â&#x20AC;? Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not merely a technical question: The constitutional rules are intended to ensure that legislators and the public are able to carefully evaluate proposals, and that important bills are not pushed through behind closed doors. There were no hearings on eliminating General Assistance, and recipients and advocates had little opportunity to make their case. â&#x20AC;&#x153;If the legislature had the opportunity to evaluate the General Assistance program on its own merits, and there was an up-or-down vote â&#x20AC;Ś they would not have eliminated General Assistance,â&#x20AC;? says CLSâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Froehlich. Commonwealth Court Judge Keith B. Quigley denied the petitionersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; request for an injunction blocking implementation of the law; theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve appealed that decision to the state Supreme Court. Meanwhile, the lawsuit continues â&#x20AC;&#x201D; as does the suffering. Project H.O.M.E. has seen an influx of people requiring shelter, food and services. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Since the GA cuts, walk-ins have increased,â&#x20AC;? says Outreach Coordination Center director Carol Thomas. â&#x20AC;&#x153;People have lost their rooms. Before, people would be able to rent a single room, and they would do that with their GA funds.â&#x20AC;? Clients are also asking for services H.O.M.E. generally did not previously provide: â&#x20AC;&#x153;showers, toiletries, laundry services and tokens. â&#x20AC;Ś They donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have the income.â&#x20AC;? And the number of young people in their 20s on the street, she says, is growing. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Nothing can replace cash. And I think thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s what people donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t realize.â&#x20AC;? Carel Floyd, 42, who suffers from the autoimmune disorder Gravesâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; disease, is now staring that reality in the face. He lost both general and medical assistance (though advocates tell CP he is

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Nothing can replace cash.â&#x20AC;?

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still entitled to it). Act 80 restricted medical-assistance eligibility for some chronically ill people; new policies also included more complicated applications for medical aid. The state, according to an analysis by Democratic legislators, projects that 35,000 people will lose health coverage, a $170.3 million cut. Two-thirds of the cuts would represent people formerly eligible for General Assistance (who were not supposed to have medical assistance restricted) â&#x20AC;&#x201D; perhaps through mere confusion. Floyd, a recovering addict with years of job experience, is now in his third semester at Community College of Philadelphia. He wants to find work where he can help homeless people with mental disorders and addiction. But heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s having trouble affording daily life: SEPTA tokens, soap, toilet paper, toothpaste, laundry â&#x20AC;&#x201D; all the little things that $205 a month just barely covered. People donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t seem to recognize, he says, how a person can sink under lifeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s smallest expenses. People think, he says, that welfare recipients â&#x20AC;&#x153;donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t need the money, they have food stamps. Well, food stamps just covers food.â&#x20AC;? (daniel.denvir@citypaper.net)

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icepack By A.D. Amorosi

³ WHILE UNION TRUST and The Butcher & the Brewer let their liquor licenses lapse like gym memberships, Tommy Upis re-upping and piling on. For a guy known to rock a ’70s porn ’stache, opening a new cocktail joint named for Sylvia Kristel’s bare-assed sex classic Emmanuelleis a no-brainer. After squooshing burger meat between his supple digits at PYT,Up is ready for something fancier and food-free. So he’s placed the 45-seat Emmanuelle — which soft-opened this week and was inspired by Paris’ Le Baron and NYC’s Experimental Cocktail Club — in a nook of the Piazza at Hancock and Germantown, brought in author/mixologist Katie Loeb to design “an amazing list” of champagne cocktails, aperitifs and classics; a bar staff, including Phoebe Esmon and Michael Burleigh,to execute them; and doorwoman Tammy Faymous,to keep things calm. “I really felt that this area could use this type of craft cocktail place, so we did something with a French take on the concept,” says Up. “A modern Prohibition vibe meets ’70s Parisian cocktail lounge.” ³ Last week I dropped word that David Ansill’s left-hand man David Kane (Pif, Bar Ferdinand) was designing a fresh comfortfood menu for Chris Conover’s configuration of Liberties (705 N. Second, across from 700 Club). This week, it’s time to add DJs to Liberties’ intimate, rarely used Victorian second floor: Welcome City Paper’s own Gair “dev79” Marking and his pal Drew to Black Friday proceedings and very possible DJ Apt One to Saturdays. ³ The Walnut Street Theatre is pursuing its annual fundraising efforts during its current run of The Music Man and finding things very successful indeed. “When Jeff Coon (the musical’s ‘Harold Hill’ character) asks the audience to give from their hearts, a shocking number of $100 bills have been amongst the donations,” says WST’s artistic director Bernard Havard. Obviously, there’s no trouble in this River City. ³ Last Thursday’s RAW Artist monthly at G Lounge and its Indie Arts Award Show was a stone-soul groove, so much so that RAW is moving to a larger space. Look for it at Lit (Second and Spring Garden) every last Thursday, starting in January. ³ Philly rapper Meek Mill dropped his major-label-artist debut LP Dreams & Nightmares on the Tuesday that Hurricane Sandy started its strike. Curious as to how it sold? “First week sales were 164,590. We thought it would be near or around 200K, but not bad considering the impact the storm had on his East Coast fans,” says Maybach/Warner Music Group press maven Roderick Scott.Meek’s preorders totaled more than 23K, which was the highest preorder for an urban artist under WMG after Lupe Fiasco. ³ There’s always more Icepack — with illustrations — at citypaper.net/criticalmass. (a_amorosi@citypaper.net)

GENIE IN A STOCKING: Pete Pryor directs People’s Light & Theater Company’s latest panto, Aladdin. MARK GARVIN

[ theater ]

ROLL OUT THE CAROL Local theaters get into the spirit of the season with Scrooge, young Santa and elves on strike. By Mark Cofta

oliday theater starts with A Christmas Carol, but it doesn’t end there. The traditional Dickens story lives on in two annual productions: Hedgerow Theatre’s fine adaptation by Nagle Jackson (Dec. 7-24, hedgerowtheatre.org) and the Walnut Street Theatre’s Bill Van Horn and Michael Borton version (Dec. 1-22, walnutstreettheatre.org). Both emphasize warm, redemptive feelings with big casts and cheery music, and just enough of the ghoststory spookiness. Delaware Theatre Company’s new adaptation by Patrick Barlow, directed by Barrymore winner Joe Calarco, uses just five actors (including dynamic multiple Barrymore winner Steve Pacek) to tell the tale (Dec. 5-30, delawaretheatre.org). Ambler’s Act II Playhouse offers the new family-friendly Christmas play Murray the Elf and the Case of the Missing Mistletoe (Dec. 14-23, act2.org) by Bill D’Agostino, starring Will Dennis as a sad-sack elf and Andy Shaw as all of the other characters. Since family is such an important holiday-season theme, several major theaters produce first-rate non-Christmas plays for children. The Arden Theatre Company’s Cinderella (Nov. 28-Jan. 27, ardentheatre.org), adapted by Charles Way and directed by New Paradise Laboratories’ Whit MacLaughlin, wraps Wolfgang

Amadeus Mozart (Matteo Scammell) into the familiar tale, with the always-exciting Mary Tuomanen in the title role. I can’t wait to see Alex Keiper and Miriam White as her evil stepsisters. People’s Light & Theatre Company in Malvern has created a new large-cast musical panto (a traditional English holiday form, using a familiar story to frame skits and songs) eight of the past nine seasons; the dedication alone deserve applause. This year’s Aladdin (through Jan. 6, peopleslight.org), penned by choreographer Samantha Bellomo and director Pete Pryor with Michael Ogborn’s original music and lyrics, looks like another winner. The can’t-miss cast includes Justin Jain, Kim Carson, Larry Grant Malvern, Karen Peakes and Mark Lazar in his traditional “grande dame” guise. Holiday theater isn’t just for kids, though. People’s Light is also running Steve Murray’s This Wonderful Life (Nov. 29-Dec. 23, peopleslight.org), in which Jerry Richardson plays a guy nutty for Frank Capra’s 1946 film It’s a Wonderful Life. He plays all 32 characters in the heartwarming classic — which, like A Christmas Carol, explores its themes through dark events like a suicide attempt and a town’s financial ruin. Christopher Durang’s Mrs. Bob Cratchit’s Wild Christmas Binge (Nov. 29-Dec. 23, newcitystage.org) takes aim at Dickens, mulling what would happen if Bob Cratchit’s wife was a stressed-out modern American housewife desperate to escape grim 1840s London. New City Stage Company’s musical satire features Kittson O’Neill, straight from a starring dramatic role in Behind the Eye, as

Just enough ghost-story spookiness.

>>> continued on page 33

the naked city | feature

[ singing circles around those bitches ] ³ ambient

Wanamaker Lewis is best known as the banjo-playing leader of local bluegrassers the Lewis Brothers, but there’s not a banjo in earshot on the new self-titled/self-released album by the Wanamaker Lewis Band. His electric guitar takes the lead on most cuts, backed by a tight blues quartet that radiates good times with the accent on the uptempo. Slow dancers may want to run the Little Walter classic “Sad Hours” on repeat, stretched to over seven minutes of Seth Holzman’s extraordinary blues harmonica and Lewis’ pensive picking. This is dreamy stuff. —Mary Armstrong

Few musical genres can legitimately claim a single inventor, but ambient comes close. Lux (Warp) — 75 reverberant minutes of discrete (and discreet) notes that arrive and linger, swell and recede in pleasingly unpremeditatedseeming fashion — is a strong reminder that Brian Eno’s contributions to the field go well beyond mere conceptualization, to the point of mastery. “Lux” means light, of course, and very aptly so, but here it also seems to connote luxury: Despite its modest means, this music manages to feel gossamer, almost insubstantial, and yet somehow sumptuous. —K. Ross Hoffman

³ pop Poor Christina Aguilera just can’t catch a break. In the beginning, critics panned her for being “too Britney.” When she tried the edgier electro thing it was “too Gaga.” And now her latest album’s out and they’re calling it “too shitty.” Don’t listen to that, though. There are some fine moments on Lotus (RCA) — namely the fact that she can still sing circles around those other bitches. —Josh Middleton Xtina for life!

flickpick

DEMOCRATIC REPUBLIC OF THE CONGO! ³ OH NO! Obama done won the ’lection and now

³ indie/pop Much like her pal and countrywoman Victoria Bergsman of Taken By Trees, El Perro Del Mar’s Sarah Assbring has taken to cushioning her frail melancholy with warmly gauzy synthetics and surprisingly forward, clubby grooves. Which isn’t to say that you can necessarily dance to all (or even most) of Pale Fire (Control Group). But its swaying softtouch house, trip-hop and Swedish reggae grooves definitely help coax an unprecedented fullness and sensuality from the waifish singer. It’s a great look, best embodied on “Walk on By,” the album’s luscious, Massive Attack-cribbing high point. —K. Ross Hoffman

[ movie review ]

Seeing the wires is part of the trick.

Verdikt: The music on Circle Songs is too purdy to be trusted. It’ll lure you in with its sweet, sweet lilting rhythms and enchantin’ melodies, then the next thing you know you’ll be speaking French and watchin’ Project Runway. Think ’bout it. (r_anonymous@citypaper.net) ✚ Rodney Anonymous sent this to us in all caps. He can do whatever he wants at rodneyanonymous.com.

✚ Wabotai

Circle Songs (BUDA MUSIQUE)

by an industry keen to modernize, doing business in the cloud, tossing out projectors and prints to make room for garish, password-protected baubles. Léos Carax’s Holy Motors is artisanal rather than industrial, but it pays eccentric, sometimes ineffable tribute to an era of moving parts and physical objects, when seeing the wires was part of the trick. Carax opens the film with a citation from Eadweard Muybridge’s landmark motion studies, but Holy Motors’ patron saint is George Méliès, the first to discover that movies could create reality rather than merely document it. Like a one-man version of a 1960s omnibus, Carax links a series of fantasias with the flimsiest of strings, casting Denis Lavant as a protean operative who stars in a series of disjunct scenarios. He’s an old woman, panhandling for change and muttering in a Slavic tongue; he’s an assassin, sent to murder a criminal whom he also resembles. He’s a crazed leprechaun with copperbright hair, munching on graveyard flowers and abducting a blank-eyed supermodel (Eva Mendes). He’s an elderly man nearing death, coming out of his stupor for one final exchange with his tender caregiver. Lavant’s performance(s) is virtuosic in every sense. He’s as much acrobat as thespian, whipping his body around a motion-capture stage or adopting an old man’s arthritic shuffle. Taken individually, Holy Motors’ vignettes are often astonishing, but the film lacks a center. Lavant disappears so thoroughly into his characters that there’s nothing to connect them. It’s as if Carax spent the 13 years since Pola X stockpiling ideas and tried to cram them all into the same movie, concerned that it might be his last, or perhaps relishing the freedom of his final salvo. —Sam Adams

he’s gonna take our jeezuz away! And he’ll prob’ly hide our jeezuz and we’ll have to hunt for him. It’ll be like an Easter egg hunt, only there won’t be no Easter cuz that colored president done took our jeezuz! Think ’bout it. And there won’t be no more Charlie Daniels on the radio. All we’ll be ’lowd to listen to will be NPR and Wabotai’s Circle Songs, which ain’t nuttin but a bunch of singin’ inspired by pygmy music. Shit, Luther, everyone knows that Obama is a seekrit pygmy and that the lamestream media films him from low angles to make him look tall. Think ’bout it. And git this: Circle Songs is on the Buda Musique lable. Iffin you re’range them letters you git “i build mosques.” Or sumptin. Think ’bout it. I don’t care iffin the music on Circle Songs is real purdy; that’s how they trick ya! One day you’re boppin’ your head along to one of their catchy songs and the next day one of them is marrying your sister! Think ’bout it. There’s a reason why these songs can be described as “hypnotic”: librul brainwashing! Hell’s bells, they might as well give away a free abortion with each copy!

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HOLY MOTORS [ B+ ] FILM DIDN’T DIE of natural causes. It was, like the silent movie, murdered

CAN’T GET YOU OFF OF MY FACE: You’d never recognize her here, but Australian pop queen Kylie Minogue makes a cameo in Léos Carax’s deliciously eccentric Holy Motors.

aidorinvade Rodney Anonymous vs. the world

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³ blues/folk

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[ disc-o-scope ]

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[ rock ]

HERE COMES YOUR MAN Tommy Conwell and co. get ready for another rumble. By A.D. Amorosi

etween 1987 and 1992, hotshot Philly guitarist Tommy Conwell and his steamrolling Young Rumblers were as unavoidable as fast bikes in rush-hour traffic. We’re talking an endless array of gigs and gold album radio play for “I’m Not Your Man” and “I’m Seventeen.” It’s not as if Conwell — an active blues cat who hosted several WYSP shifts before the station went talk — or Rumblers Chris Day, Jim Hannum, Rob Miller and Paul Slivka went away. Like any good band, they busted up but still get together like a family for holidays. “Our live shows were so full of raw energy, our fans were so connected to our music, we lit up any place we played,” says rhythm guitarist Day about the early days. “We rehearsed constantly, became a super-tight band, completely comfortable with each other onstage. At that time, it was rare to be a stripped-down, no effects, straight-ahead blues-rock band. All muscle and rhythm. Denim and leather, not spandex and big hair. We were tight.” Between 1981 and 1984, Conwell ripped through hardcore with the Zippers and stormy-weather blues with Rockett 88. He and the Rumblers then started up with a racing rockabilly sound and an abiding love of Link Wray and Freddie King. “I threw together a trio for an event at University of Delaware, the Skid Row Beach Party, where we opened for the Maytags and Catherine the Great, whose lead singer made his entrance with a backflip,” says Conwell of the band’s first gig as a five-piece, in ’86.

curtaincall

“We didn’t embarrass ourselves, and my picture was on the cover of the school newspaper, the kind of luck we seemed to receive for a while there.” Between then and ’88, they got the Hooters’ management (Steve Mountain) behind them, released their own indie-label Walking on the Water, followed by Rumble, their first album for Columbia. Things happened fast. Maybe too fast, in retrospect. “A slow boil would’ve been better, absolutely, but I didn’t have a choice, or at least it didn’t seem so at the time,” says Conwell. “You don’t decide when you will get a shot. If you get it before you’re ready, those are the breaks.” Conwell enthuses about his mates and that initial rush of rock as if they were kids in a candy store. To him, Day was handsome and cool, bassist Hannum and drummer Slivka had “this weird punk/ hillbilly/jazz open-mindedness” and the entire proceedings were vividly quirky. “I kept pushing until we got a reaction: hotdogging, climbing on things; stuff that takes no talent. But my songs were pretty sweet, and I could play lead guitar pretty well.” Conwell’s Young Rumblers were still selling well when they made Guitar Trouble in 1990 and Neuroticus Maximus for MCA in 1992, but MCA shelved Maximus due to new management constraints. Then Conwell screwed up the Rumblers formula. “I’d made changes in the band that I thought would freshen things up but it was never as good after that.” Day is franker. “I became a pain in the ass and got canned,” he laughs. “We pulled in different directions musically, squabbled Tommy Conwell

J Paul Nicholas and Corinna Burns

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By David Fox

³ BRIDE AND PREJUDICE The English Bride revolves around two separate interrogations, both conducted in grim, gray rooms by an intense Mossad agent named Dov. In one room is Ali Said, an Arab resident of Israel who may be responsible for a failed bombing attempt on an El Al flight out of London. In the other room sits Eileen, a British barmaid engaged to Ali Said, who may or may not have been co-opted into the plan. And what do they talk about in Lucile Lichtblau’s elegant, smart, riveting new play, being given a knockout premiere production at Theatre Exile? The drudgery of daily work life. How to flirt. Lasagna. “What?” I hear you thinking. “I know what interrogations really look like! I watched 24. Some swarthy man is chained to a chair and frothing at the mouth. Jack Bauer is pounding the table. Outside, other CIA agents are setting up perimeters and arguing about who’s in charge. Nearby, a building blows up.” Or maybe you’re classier than that, and you understand interrogations from Homeland. In that case, you’ve upgraded to Claire Danes and Mandy Patinkin, and the dialogue is more sophisticated. But there is still a lot of yelling, and something still blows up. Here is playwright Lichtblau’s simple yet revelatory premise: Maybe suspected terrorists talk like normal people. Perhaps they have homes, spouses, children, outside interests. And just possibly, even in tense situations, they are capable of coherent, civil conversations. What makes The English Bride so terrific is that this changes everything. On the one hand, we can — sometimes, under some circumstances — actually sympathize with these people. On the other,

well, that makes them even scarier. It’s Eileen, the English Bride of the title, who most completely engages us on both levels. She’s funny, rueful, self-aware and selfdeprecating — but also nobody’s fool, and disconcertingly devoted to Ali Said. We hang on her every word, trying to figure out what lies beneath. It helps, of course, that actress Corinna Burns gives a superb performance, all the more astonishing for its utterly believable, almost heartbreaking ordinariness. But the triumph is also Lichtblau’s, because Eileen’s dialogue is so natural and right. When we hear her talk about her awkward romantic relationships, it has the uncomfortable ring of truth. There’s less for us to identify with in Ali Said — one imagines Lichtblau is keeping the character deliberately ambiguous — but he too feels real. The character is likewise given a fine, nuanced performance by J Paul Nicholas, who manages to be thoroughly charming and a little frightening all at once. Dov makes less of an impression — he’s a facilitator, rather than a full participant — but actor Damon Bonetti brings an intensity that’s especially effective

[ arts & entertainment ]

over money, had egos and ids. We were making the second record, there was a ton of pressure to top it and we freaked out in different ways.” Freakouts behind them, Day and Co. are please to be rumbling again. “Time heals all,” he says. Conwell has made his lost Neuroticus Maximus chapter available on his website. “I didn’t do anything the right way, I’m sure. I just put it out there. I think I own it. Is MCA still a company? And if they are, what are they gonna do, come after me for the $600 I made selling downloads? Bring it on.” And Conwell digs seeing the family, holidays or not. “People asked for it and I saw dollar signs. I love to see the guys; we’re like brothers. I’d like to make a new album with them but I don’t know if it’s financially realistic. But it all seems worthwhile to do something if you’re the only group on the face of the earth who can do it.” (a_amorosi@citypaper.net) ✚ Fri., Nov. 23, 8:30 p.m., $25-$33.15, with

Bricklin, Electric Factory, 421 N. Seventh St., 215627-1332, electricfactory.info.

in moments of silent observation. In fact, the sense of watching — not only Dov watching his suspects, but the larger sense of how we all observe and draw conclusions — is a major factor in director Deborah Block’s beautifully realized production. The tight confines of Theatre Exile’s space make audience members acutely aware of one another. The effect is all the more striking because Colin McIlvaine’s set presents the action in an enclosed room with three large, open windows — almost like a large terrarium — and the audience is always visible. In another play, it might be distracting, but here it only contributes to the tension. Block’s direction also sharply etches The English Bride’s timeline. Some events happen in the present, others are fragmented memories from the past; some conversations happen between characters, other moments are addressed directly to the audience. It’s complicated, but absolutely clear. And that’s all I’m going to tell you. The English Bride demands to be seen (and given the small size of the theater, you should book early). If you think TV and film have taught you know all you need to know about terrorist interrogations, prepare to have your world rocked. (d_fox@citypaper.net) ✚ Through Dec. 2, $32-$37, Studio X, 1340 S. 13th St., 215-218-4022, theatreexile.org.

A horrible North Pole fire spurs an elf strike.

the agenda | food | classifieds

holiday songs in a cast including 11th Hour’s artistic director and Barrymore-winning musical actor Michael Philip O’Brien. Though Plaid plays in Center City and Wonderettes runs at Norristown’s Theatre Horizon, these two shows make the ideal holiday pop-music doubleheader. Audiences of a certain age will love Act II Playhouse’s Oh, What Fun! (Dec. 11-30, act2.org), which stars Tony Braithwaite channeling Johnny Carson in a nostalgic varietyshow tribute. At Kensington’s plucky Walking Fish Theatre, audiences of a certain bent will find stimulation with The Young Adventures of Santa — A Yuletide Burlesque (Dec. 1931, walkingfishtheatre.com), based on a story by Wizard of Oz author L. Frank Baum but, we assume, with more naughtiness than he imagined. Enjoy! (m_cofta@citypaper.net)

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the beleaguered Mrs. Cratchit, along with Amanda Schoonover, John Zak and Robert DaPonte, and adds audience improv and Christmas carols to the already wacky evening. BCKSEET Productions returns from a long hiatus with Kate Brennan’s ELFuego (Dec. 12-29, bckseet.com), which imagines a horrible North Pole fire that spurs an elf strike, causing elf Scab (Sarah Doherty) to import unemployed Americans to replace the strikers. This new musical comedy explores contemporary issues of unemployment, commercialism and consumerism. A portion of ticket sales will benefit Philadelphia Unemployment Project. Two small-cast musical sequels, Winter Wonderettes (Dec. 7-30, 11thhourtheatrecompany.org) and Plaid Tidings (through Dec. 30, walnutstreettheatre.org), celebrate with classic Christmas tunes. The 11th Hour Theatre Company’s Winter Wonderettes revisits the quartet from last spring’s The Marvelous Wonderettes for a 1968 holiday reunion, starring Laura Catlaw and Rachel Camp. The Walnut Street Theatre’s Independence Studio on 3 production of Plaid Tidings reunites the four harmonizing crooners from Forever Plaid with 1950s

[ arts & entertainment ]

PHOTO BY NEAL SANTOS

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the naked city | feature

✚ Roll Out the Carol

CALLIE! 1-2 YEARS OLD

I’m Callie, a beautiful calico cat around a year and a half old who needs a home. I was surrendered to the shelter because my family was moving. I enjoy being around other cats and I love to be the center of attention when it comes to my human friends. Wouldn’t you like a nice girl like me around the house?

Located on the corner of 2nd and Arch.

All PAWS animals are spayed/neutered, vaccinated, and microchipped before adoption. For more information, call 215-238-9901 ext. 30 or email adoptions@phillypaws.org

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ADOP

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shorts

“BOND LIKE YOU’VE

NEVER SEEN HIM BEFORE. IN A WORD:

FILMS ARE GRADED BY CITY PAPER CRITICS A-F.

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“GRADE: A. A GREAT, LONG-LASTING JOLT OF PLEASURE.” Lisa Schwarzbaum

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Life of Pi

ALBERT R. BROCCOLI’S EON PRODUCTIONS PRESENTS DANIEL CRAIG AS IAN FLEMING’S JAMES BOND IN “SKYFALL” JAVI E R BARDEM RALPH FI E NNES NAOMI E HARRI S BÉRÉNI C E MARLOHE WITH ALBERT FINNEY AND JUDI DENCH AS “M” COMUSIC COSTUME PRODUCTION PRODUCERS ANDREW NOAKES DAVID POPE BY THOMAS NEWMAN DESIGNER JANY TEMIME EDITOR STUART BAIRD, A.C.E. DESIGNER DENNIS GASSNER DIRECTOR OF EXECUTIVE WRITTEN PHOTOGRAPHY ROGER DEAKINS, ASC BSC PRODUCER CALLUM MCDOUGALL BY NEAL PURVIS & ROBERT WADE AND JOHN LOGAN DIRECTED PRODUCED BY MICHAEL G. WILSON AND BARBARA BROCCOLI BY SAM MENDES FEATURING “SKYFALL” PERFORMED BY ADELE

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NEW ANNA KARENINA|B All the evidence of previous Hollywood adaptations and of director Joe Wright’s previous work pointed to his Anna Karenina being a lush and airless British costume-drama version of the Tolstoy novel. The fact that playwright Tom Stoppard was responsible for the screenplay promised at least an intelligent translation. But Wright’s Pride and Prejudice and Atonement weren’t lacking in smarts, they were simply stuffily reverential. While Stoppard does provide an effective winnowing of the 1,000-page tome into a two-hour film, it’s the director who’s responsible for the cleverly irreverent decision to play the whole thing in an abandoned theater, emphasizing the artificiality of the period drama through the use of stage props, painted backdrops and choreography. The approach is surprisingly less stagy than the typical costume drama, as Wright uses the theatrical world as a doorway into a heightened reality, allowing the wings and the catwalks over the stage to become settings or using a model train for the story’s many journeys. It suggests the influence of Busby Berkeley, an unlikely name to arise in relation to a Tolstoy adaptation but the filmmaker who most understands how film can expand the possibilities of theatrical artifice far beyond what the proscenium allows. Wright ultimately falters once emotion takes over from incident, as there is by that point an unbridgeable distance between audience and characters and he stops short of pushing further into the grandly operatic. —Shaun Brady (Ritz East) HOLY MOTORS|B+ Read Sam Adams’ review on p. 31. (Opens Fri., Nov. 23, at Ritz at the Bourse)

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LIFE OF PI|BIn the end, Ang Lee’s adaptation of Life of Pi poses the same question as the novel upon which it’s based: Can storytelling convince someone to believe in God? (Set aside the obvious fact that it’s the only thing that ever has.) Lee inflates Yann Martel’s best-selling allegorical adventure yarn into an often stunning 3-D epic that thrusts gauzy New Age syllogisms and lavish writerly conceits directly into the viewer’s lap. The film was conceived for 3-D and the results can be breathtaking: the lifeboat floating on a placid, cloud-reflecting ocean that makes it appear to be airborne, the teeming swirl of bioluminescent sea creatures. But Lee never makes the case for the format as essential to artistic expression, as he seems to argue for, so much as just a grander-than-usual spectacle, a particularly impressive fireworks show. Sure, a sudden rush of flying fish has greater relevance to a lost-at-sea tale than the thwacking of a paddleball has to the story of a diabolical wax museum, but the difference is ultimately one of scale, not meaning. Lee’s films tend to stand or fall based on their balance between sumptuous visuals and weighty ideas; the reach for profundity here occasionally results in sluggish pacing and awkward performances, but the one-size-fits-all spirituality is frothy enough not to overburden the thrill of tiger attacks and man-eating islands. —SB (Franklin Mills, UA 69th Street, UA Grant, UA Main Street, UA Riverview) RED DAWN|D Dan Bradley’s remake of Red Dawn has suffered from plenty of bad timing. In the first place, there’s the fact that John Milius’ 1984 original was a quintessentially Cold War artifact that seems irretrievably antiquated in the 21st century. Then there’s the booming Chinese market for Hollywood blockbusters, which forced the post-production

CONTINUING

Schoolhouse Rock ever made. —Sam Adams (Ritz Five, UA Grant)

A ROYAL AFFAIR|B+

– Aaron Hillis, THE VILLAGE VOICE

“A

MASTERPIECE of clever wit and visual wonder... as heartbreaking as it is HILARIOUS!” – Hillary Weston, BLACKBOOK

“ELECTRIFYING!” “VISIONARY!”

THE BEST LOVE STORY SEEN ON FILM IN YEARS! A spectacle that has to be seen to be believed.

“

Director Sam Mendes goes for broke from minute one, initiating us into the chase as Bond and babely agent Eve (Naomie Harris) pursue chaos-bringer Patrice (Ola Rapace) through the alleys of Istanbul. Patrice has gotten hold of a drive containing the identities of every undercover MI6 agent in the world, intel the ever-dissatisfied M (Judi Dench) would like to have back. While well-paced, Skyfall falters when it tries to convince us that the public has the clout to hold an agency

– Mike D’Angelo, THE ONION

“EXHILARATING!” – John Powers, VOGUE

“CRAZY BEAUTIFUL!”

– Lisa Schwarzbaum, ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY

”

++++! CRITIC’S PICK!

“

Anna Karenina sings, dances and soars. An ingenious, intoxicating adaptation. Leo Tolstoy’s novel has been brilliantly re-imagined.”

INTELLIGENTLY ECSTATIC WITH THE EMOTIONS RUNNING AT FEVER PITCH!”

“

LET ANNA KARENINA WORK ITS MARVELOUS SPELL! ”

“

Keira Knightley is glorious.

WINNER

CANNES FILM FESTIVAL Prix de la Jeunesse

K E I R A

K N I G H T L E Y

J U D E

WINNER

L A W

FANTASTIC FEST Critics’ Award

WINNER

SITGES FILM FESTIVAL Best Film, Best Director

A BOLD NEW VISION OF THE EPIC STORY OF LOVE FROM THE DIRECTOR OF ‘PRIDE & PREJUDICE’ AND ‘ATONEMENT’

CENTER CITY LANDMARK THEATRES RITZ EAST Center City 215-925-7900

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Even at its strongest moments, Rise of the Guardians, an adaptation of William Joyce’s book series, doesn’t have the meat to balance out its hyperactive plot. But while it may overstimulate us grown folks, youngsters will surely be thrilled to see so many fantastical figures in one place. Jack Frost (voiced by Chris Pine) runs around freezing everything, desperate to have the children of the world notice him. Meanwhile, the evil Pitch (Jude Law) is trying to destroy kids’ dreams with nightmares. Frost is enlisted in the exclusive group of guardians comprising mythical and holiday superstars — most notably North (Alec Baldwin), a tattooed, burly Russian Santa Claus — who set out to protect the children who still believe in them. The 3-D animation is beautiful, often playing with depth of field and using every opportunity to have snow and other wintery things whirling in front of your eyes. The substance of the film, however, doesn’t quite cut the fruitcake. There is a set of respectable morals, like urging kids to always believe in their dreams, but they get tangled up in the complicated narrative and consequently characters like Pitch — a pathetic villain who never poses enough of a threat — fall flat. —Catherine Haas (UA 69th Street, UA Grant, UA Main Street, UA Riverview)

SKYFALL|A-

“An exhilarating hybrid of comedy, melodrama, science ﬁction, crime thriller and musical romance. Wholly mysterious and impossibly lovely, this mad hatter’s monsterpiece may be THE BEST FILM OF THE YEAR!”

– Bilge Ebiri, NEW YORK MAGAZINE

RISE OF THE GUARDIANS|C+

please it almost can’t help but succeed. It’s clever and cute and never lets you forget it, and winning in spite of how much it insists on it. —SA (Bryn Mawr Film Institute, Ritz Five)

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A Royal Affair’s compelling writing and fine actors help set this basedon-a-true-story romantic period piece apart from its contemporaries. Queen Caroline of Denmark (Alicia Vikander) is married to the mentally ill King Christian VII (Mikkel Følsgaard), who has a penchant for acting. She falls in love with her physician (Mads Mikkelsen) and the two plot to start a revolution by persuading the king to approach his leadership as he would a part in a play, having him memorize the speeches they write. Naturally, the affair is revealed, and their brief romance starts to unravel. Unlike recent royal-court dramas Young Victoria and The Other Boleyn Girl, A Royal Affair doesn’t rely too much on ostentatious camerawork and overly dramatic writing. Instead, director Nikolaj Arcel focuses on story and characters, garnering a true and deserved empathy for its players — especially Følsgaard’s enigmatic king, whose utter madness and disregard of reality don’t come across as exaggerated, but pathetic and innocent. It’s because of these nuanced performances and the film’s thoughtful writing that it manages to thrive despite an ending that starts to wear out its welcome. —CH (Ritz Five)

[ movie shorts ]

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LINCOLN|B+ Steven Spielberg and Tony Kushner’s Lincoln devotes the bulk of its brisk two-and-a-half hours to the machinations behind the passage of the constitutional amendment outlawing slavery. Daniel Day-Lewis’ Great Emancipator is not a stentorian orator but a sly, self-amusing raconteur, an expert horse trader who doles out patronage jobs in exchange for congressional yeas. Kushner’s characterization is drawn in part from Doris Kearns Goodwin’s Team of Rivals, but owes as much to the Oval Office’s current occupant, another Illinois lawyer who has pursued grand aims and settled for incomplete victories. Forced to mollify his party’s ideological purists while dragging dissenters across the aisle, Lincoln employs every means at his disposal, including some that tarnish his copper-bright image. As always, Spielberg has a tendency to underline twice when once would do, but Day-Lewis runs with the movie’s pedantic bent, enhancing one argument with a Euclidean theorem. The painstaking detail that goes into tracking the amendment’s path toward approval is at its core an impassioned defense of representative democracy, with all its flaws intact. It’s like the most eloquent episode of

SILVER LININGS PLAYBOOK|B Based on a novel by local author Matthew Quick, the locally shot Silver Linings Playbook mixes the style of David O. Russell’s The Fighter with the antic performance style of I Heart Huckabees, a combination designed to leave viewers as crazed as Bradley Cooper’s unhinged lead. On provisional release from a mental hospital after administering a beatdown to his estranged wife’s lover, Cooper moves back with his mother (Jacki Weaver) and father (Robert De Niro), the latter a fanatical Eagles fan with the bookmaker’s debt to prove it. Cooper’s jittery mannerisms quickly wear thin, but he’s balanced by a policeman’s widow (Jennifer Lawrence) whose no-nonsense bluntness brings him back to Earth. The movie settles into a well-worn rut once the two start training for a ballroom-dance contest, cruising toward a resolution it never earns, but it tries so hard to

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change in villain from China to North Korea — which then suffered the death of dictator Kim Jong-il, who, while ridiculous, provided at least a plausibly insane menace. The film is now stuck with an opening montage of news footage attempting to make his nonentity son, Kim Jong-un, look like a threat. Its luck may have finally turned around, and not just because star Chris Hemsworth landed the lead in Thor while the film gathered dust; opening just after Obama’s re-election, Red Dawn may provide some escapist solace for mourning Red Staters. Little effort has been made to update the story, so red-blooded hawks can revel in a world where bad guys invade the homeland with tanks and guns (and some kind of pulse weapon that cripples the entire U.S. military — best not to think about that too much, but then logic is another object of Republican distrust). Those liberal bastions, the Eastern Seaboard and the Pacific Northwest, immediately become occupied territory, but states like Alabama and Texas remain free and fighting. The sight of a scrappy band of high schoolers waging guerrilla war is enough to warm any right-leaning heart, and as Hemsworth says of doing the fighting at home, “It hurts a little less and makes more sense.” If only the same could be said of Obama’s America, right guys? —SB (Franklin Mills, UA 69th Street, UA Main Street, UA Riverview)

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like MI6 accountable for its sins. Such clandestine orgs will always be fueled by secrecy, which Mendes remembers in his overhauls of timetested double-0 tropes. Craig’s job description hasn’t changed, but he’s been visibly invigorated by his new co-workers. —Drew Lazor (Tuttleman IMAX, UA 69th Street, UA Grant, UA Main Street, UA Riverview)

THE TWILIGHT SAGA: BREAKING DAWN, PART 2|CRobert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart’s surrealist courtship, both on- and off-screen, rightly dominates Twilight discussion, but the final installment of the most weirdly fascinating franchise in a decade belongs to Michael Sheen. A

talented actor with a taste for macabre cheese, the Englishman violates the boundaries of scientific reason with the amount of fun he has as Aro. It’s foolish to expect anything other than galumphing out of our two leads, a realization that puts performances both good (Sheen, Billy Burke) and godawful (everyone else, especially freaking Taylor Lautner) into clearest focus. Instead of exhausting yourself screaming about how much The Twilight Saga sucks — and it does suck, so, so much — tolerate it for what it is (junk food) and cherish it for what it isn’t (taken seriously). —DL (UA 69th Street, UA Grant, UA Main Street, UA Riverview)

WAKE IN FRIGHT|AShown in competition at Cannes in 1971, Ted Kotcheff ’s journey into the Australian outback’s heart of darkness was a flop on its initial release and nearly disappeared altogether, restored only when a print marked for destruction was discovered in a Pittsburgh warehouse. It’s ironically fitting that Wake in Fright went through hell, since the film submits schoolteacher John Grant (Gary Bond) to his own No Exit, trapping him in a remote city populated with almost exclusively male inhabitants who enjoy drink, violence and little else. Bundanyabba is meant to be a pit stop on Bond’s trip to the big city, but when he ill-advisedly bets his bankroll in an attempt to free himself from the “bonded slave[ry] of the education department,” he ends up skint, facedown and naked on his hotel bed as if he’s been violated. Over the course of several days he spirals downward on a tide of cheap lager, circling the drain with an alcoholic doctor (Donald Pleasance). Although the film brings to mind Straw Dogs and Deliverance, the mood is closer to The Texas Chainsaw Massacre with a touch of Buñuel’s Exterminating Angel — a surreal horror in which the only devils are the kangaroos whose eyes flash red in the headlights before they’re run over for sport. Many reissues claim the mantle of lost masterpiece, but Wake in Fright is the genuine article. —SA (Ritz at the Bourse)

whose bouts of ill temper have unusually destructive consequences, that his bid for acceptance lacks depth; it only requires others to change, not him. He’s a sad sack, not a misunderstood monster. Like Brave, the movie rings a few welcome changes on the Disney-princess mythos, but it still feels like a game you’ve played before. —SA (UA 69th Street, UA Grant, UA Main Street, UA Riverview)

REPERTORY FILM THE AGATSTON URBAN NUTRITION INITIATIVE The Rotunda, 4014 Walnut St., 215898-1600, urbannutrition.org. The Weight of the Nation (2012, U.S., 90 min.): Examining the impending threat of America’s obesity epidemic. Mon., Nov. 26, 6:30 p.m., free.

THE BALCONY 1003 Arch St., 215-922-6888, thetroc. com. Hairspray (1988, U.S., 92 min.): John Waters’ musical venture into the mainstream (kind of) follows “pleasantly plump” teenager Tracy Turnblad’s crusade for integration in ’60s Baltimore while shaking her thing on an American Bandstand-like TV show. Mon., Nov. 26, 8 p.m., $3.

BRYN MAWR FILM INSTITUTE 824 W. Lancaster Ave., Bryn Mawr, 610-527-9898, brynmawrfilm.org. Looney Tunes Shorts: “Leghorn

his waning career, and makes one last attempt at cultural prominence. Tue., Nov. 27, 7 p.m., $20.

COLONIAL THEATRE 227 Bridge St., Phoenixville, 610-9171228, thecolonialtheatre.com. Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975, U.K., 91 min.): This famed parody of the Arthurian quest is legendary in its own right. Fri.-Sun., Nov. 23-25, various times, $8. How to Train Your Dragon (2010, U.S., 98 min.): Pete’s Dragon meets Avatar in this Dreamworks hit about a Viking teen who befriends one of the dragons his society wants to slay. Sat., Nov. 24, 2 p.m., $8. Murder By Death (1976, U.S., 94 min.): A whodunit spoof that boasts an eclectically awesome cast (Peter Sellers, Truman Capote, Alec Guiness, Peter Falk, etc.) and, incidentally, is the namesake of that rad Bloomington band. Sun., Nov. 25, 2 p.m., $8. Beauty is Embarrassing (2012, U.S., 90 min.): Chronicling the life and work of 1980s and ’90s visual artist Wayne White. Sun., Nov. 25, 4 p.m., $8.

[ movie shorts ]

Alexa Karolinski follows the screening. Tue., Nov. 27, 7 p.m., free. Beauty Is Embarrassing (2012, U.S., 87 min.): See Colonial Theater listing. Wed., Nov. 28, 7 p.m., $9.

MOSAIC AT THE MOVIES Temple University, 1114 Polett Walk, temple.edu. My Winnipeg (2007, Canada, 80 min.): Guy Maddin’s “docu-fantasia” is a surreal postcard from his darling hometown. Tue., Nov. 27, 5:30 p.m., free.

WOODMERE ART MUSEUM 9201 Germantown Ave., 215-2470476, woodmereartmuseum.org. A Damsel in Distress (1937, U.S., 98 min.): Fred Astaire is misled to believe he can easily dance his way into young heiress Joan Fontaine’s heart in this musical comedy from RKO. Tue., Nov. 27, 7 p.m., $5.

WOODY ALLEN FILM SERIES

FRIENDS OF THE PHILADELPHIA CITY INSTITUTE LIBRARY Free Library, Philadelphia City Institute Branch, 1905 Locust St., 215-685-6621, freelibrary.org. Casablanca (1942, U.S., 102 min.): Discover that Ingrid Bergman technically never says “Play it again, Sam” at this screening celebrating the 70th anniversary of the classic’s premiere. Wed., Nov. 28, 2 p.m., free.

Free Library, Northeast Regional Branch, 2228 Cottman Ave., 215685-0522, freelibrary.org. Annie Hall (1977, U.S., 93 min.): Woody Allen’s seminal musing on love is a cut above every other rom-com out there. Sat., Nov. 24, 11 a.m., free.

Swoggled” and Five More (1950s,

WRECK-IT RALPH|B “Smooth and unsurprising” about covers Disney’s Wreck-It Ralph as a whole, which is far more engaging in its small details than its broad strokes. But Ralph (voiced by John C. Reilly) is such a lovable lug, if one

U.S., 45 min.): BMFI takes its weekly Looney Tunes series down South for a few barnyard yarns featuring that damn drawling rooster. Sat., Nov. 24, 11 a.m., $5. Barrymore (2011, Canada, 129 min.): Aging film star John Barrymore faces the reality of

INVITES YOU TO AN ADVANCE SCREENING

TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 27TH, 7:30 PM AT UA MAIN STREET THEATER LOG ON TO

WWW.CITYPAPER.NET/WIN FOR ENTRY DETAILS

THIS FILM IS RATED R FOR STRONG BLOODY VIOLENCE, GRISLY IMAGES, LANGUAGE, AND BRIEF NUDITY. Under 17 Requires Accompanying Parent Or Adult Guardian. Please note: Passes are limited and will be distributed on a ﬁrst come, ﬁrst served basis while supplies last. No phone calls, please. Limit one pass per person. Each pass admits two. Seating is not guaranteed. Arrive early. Theater is not responsible for overbooking. This screening will be monitored for unauthorized recording. By attending, you agree not to bring any audio or video recording device into the theater (audio recording devices for credentialed press excepted) and consent to a physical search of your belongings and personWWE. Any attempted use of recording devices will result in immediate removal from the theater, forfeiture, and may subject you to criminal and civil liability. Please allow additional time for heightened security. You can assist us by leaving all nonessential bags at home or in your vehicle.

IN THEATERS NOVEMBER 30TH www.thecollectionmovie.com

INTERNATIONAL HOUSE 3701 Chestnut St. 215-387-5125, ihousephilly.org. Oma & Bella (2012, Germany/U.S., 76 min.): Two Holocaust survivors delve into their past by recreating the foods they ate as girls. A Q&A with the documentarian

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portioncontrol By Carly Szkaradnik

food

A GOOD WRAP

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³ MOST FOOD ENTHUSIASTS already have

ROLL WITH IT: Potato rolls and rolls of paper towels are essential accompaniments for Fette Sau’s ’cue. NEAL SANTOS

[ review ]

BOROUGH BRED Fette Sau brings Brooklyn-branded barbecue to Fishtown. By Adam Erace FETTE SAU | 1208 Frankford Ave., 215-391-4888, fettesauphilly.com. Open Mon.-Thu., 5-11 p.m.; Fri., 5 p.m.-midnight; Sat., noon-midnight; Sun., noon-11 p.m. Meat, $8-$11.50 (based on half-pound per person); sides, $1.50-$7.50; desserts, $1.50-$4.

he sign glows on a cold night like a honky-tonk babe’s bubblegum-pink belt buckle: Fette Sau, it says, in supple scrolling neon. The chain-link fence beneath swings open like a screechier saloon door, drawing plaid-clad passersby into a wide breezeway lined with old brick and new wood, fresh-cut cords of the latter stacked against former, leading to the faux-dilapidated building More on: beyond. Built of corrugated tin and yellow pine, the shed looks more like a murderous hillbilly’s lair than a smokehouse dining room. But a dining room is exactly what the structure is, part of a faithful recreation of the oak-perfumed shack belching smoke since 2007 a block off the BQE in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. The arrival of Fette Sau, a partnership between Stephen Starr and founder Joe Carroll, is the latest example of the Brooklynification of Philly, joining fellow seven-one-eighter Barcade about a month ago. Where Brooklyn at? These days, um, Fishtown. Hate on, haters; I’m flattered Carroll wants to do business here,

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and judging by the feasting finger-lickers crowding Fette Sau’s dining room (if an industrial open-air garage can be called such), I’m not alone. But it’s not the yay-Philly warm-and-fuzzies he’s serving by the pound that make his barbecue worthy of praise. No, it’s everything else. Where to begin? How about with the staff? From the dude at the counter slicing and weighing flesh like a friendlier Shylock — “You like pickles? I’ll throw a couple on there for you guys” — to the one roaming the dining room clearing sauce-splattered trays, Fette’s crew was disarmingly warm, without any of the too-cool-for-school attitude their American Apparel-model looks imply. The bartender seemed as enthusiastic as I was about the flight of American whiskies I ordered along with a round of Mason-jar beers poured from a draught system whose handles are rusty cleavers and meat mallets. One-handed, she tipped each of three small-batch bourbons from jigger to snifter, amber waterfalls of caramel and smoke. Speaking of smoke: Red and white oak MORE FOOD AND mixed with bits of cherry, hickory and beech DRINK COVERAGE create the super plumes that seep deep into AT C I T Y P A P E R . N E T / the heritage-breed meats taking long naps M E A LT I C K E T. in the kitchen’s Southern Pride smokers. I could smell it from a block away, long before I passed beneath the hot-pink sign, and again long after I was home, the intoxicating perfume of smoked meat attached to my clothes. I huffed them like a can of Reddi-Wip, hurtling backward to hours earlier when my stomach was empty and my tray was full. A length of brown butcher paper blotted the juices running off the pulled pork. Thick, ketchup-y sauce crawled down the side of a >>> continued on page 44

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a glut of gadgets and cookbooks. These edibles make thoughtful gifts that run no risk of winding up wedged in the depths of a kitchen drawer. For anyone on your list suffering from Euro-lust, a jar of Christine Ferber’s jam — which is seldom seen and flat-out exquisite — will set them right. Master patissière Ferber has been selling her acclaimed conserves for years, but until now, you’d have to make a trip to France to lay a hand on them. No over-sugared, distant echoes of summer’s glory here — these bright, clean jams demonstrate how preserving can actually elevate fine ingredients. Classic berry and apple-caramel flavors are superb; for added holiday spirit, opt for the dried-fruit-andspice-laden Christmas jam or the fig, orange and Gewürztraminer New Year’s jam. $18-$20 per 220gram jar, thesweetpalate.com. West Chester’s Éclat will spread cheer to chocolate fans in your life. The new Good & Evil bar, made with rare Peruvian Pure Nacional cacao beans, is a small luxury. For a more elaborate gift, we’re fond of their beer lover’s collection, featuring caramel and truffle centers imbued with Victory Hop Wallop IPA, Calvados or single-malt whisky. If West Chester is too far a hike, order online or check out the Di Bruno Bros. in Rittenhouse for a selection of Éclat goods. Good & Evil bar, $18; Beer Lover’s Box, $26.50, eclatchocolate.com. When asked what they want for the holidays, few people will come right out and say booze. Still, never underestimate how much most adults appreciate alcoholic beverages that they didn’t have to pay for. Victory’s Red Thunder (their Baltic Thunder porter aged three months in red-wine barrels) debuts today, so it doesn’t get much more cutting-edge.And at comfortably under $10, a corked-and-caged 750 ml bottle is a nice little gift. $8, victorybeer.com. For the beer-averse, Philadelphia Distilling Co. recently released a couple of new flavored versions of its XXX Shine unaged corn whiskey; salted caramel is particularly well suited to cozy, cold-weather cocktails like hot toddies or spiked cider. $24.99 at PLCB stores, philadelphiadistilling.com. If you’re considering handmade gifts, know that the holiday-confection beat requires some serious supplies. For cute cutters, wrappers, molds and more, try any of these spots: Sweet Creations Unlimited in Northeast Philly (5940 Torresdale Ave., swtcreations.com), Oasis Supply in Bensalem (1448 Ford Rd., oasisupply.com) or Cannon’s Cake & Candy Supplies in Clementon, N.J. (1027 Chews Landing Rd., cannonscakeandcandy.com). (carly@citypaper.net)

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P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R | N O V E M B E R 2 2 - N O V E M B E R 2 8 , 2 0 1 2 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T | 45

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food | the agenda | a&e | feature | the naked city classifieds

[ i love you, i hate you ] To place your FREE ad (100 word limit) ³ email lovehate@citypaper.net ANTI-UNION JERKOFF To the ignorant anti-union jerkoff. I feel sorry you love being used as a 9-5 disposable slave instead of backing up people fighting for (horrors!) decent jobs with benefits. Thanks to unions you’re not working 14 hours a day for 10 cents an hour (folks do that now while you masturbate to porn on your fucking tablet computer. ) And the lecture about “economic realities”. Preach that to CEO’s who keep sending American jobs overseas and then rewarding themselves with multi-million dollar “bonuses” and enjoy it as they slam the door in your face and then send your nothing job to another country next....Get a clue.

you. You did totally nothing for our daughter and it makes me sick...why the fuck do you think that I am snapping at you...because I don’t want to be bothered with you...I am just tired of the whole fucking thing!

FUCKING CLOWN Your nut ass really thinks it’s ok to keep walking pass me trying to be smart saying hi to my best friend and not me...like I said before you think you are making someone upset but really you are playing yourself. Bitch ass...I already know we dated you just don’t want anyone to know you were with me. But it’s ok, you only did it to have an excuse

because you know you’ll never find someone that was as loyal as me, and that you done fucked up now. BITCH

I HATE YOU I wish that I could take your car and run over your stupid ass sometimes. It makes me sick that I ask you to do something for me and then all of a sudden you have something else to do other than what I asked you to do! You are a fucking lazy ass bitch and I am so tired of you just doing what the fuck you want to do...I am tired of arguing with you and I am just tired of you as a person. A person would of thought that you would of taken certain

46 | P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R |

N O V E M B E R 2 2 - N O V E M B E R 2 8 , 2 0 1 2 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T

ASSHOLE DRIVER To the driver on the 47 who gave me a hard time for trying to get home on the wrong-gender transpass. I paid for it. WHY DO YOU GIVE A SHIT WHAT COLOR STICKER IS ON THE MOTHER FUCKER? It’s not coming out of your pocket! I’m sure you only bothered me about it because you were trying to impress that bitch who was standing up front conversating with you. Congradulations, Mr. Conscientious; you’ve just endeared yourself to another ignorant female by being a arrogant dick to stangers! Let’s be real. Female, traveling alone, at 11 at night, in the freezing cold, through North Philadelphia, and you seriously want to try to put me off the bus behind this bullshit???? Meanwhile, buses all over the city are choked with school kids wilding out, dudes playing profanity-laced music all loud, oh yeah, and VIOLENT CRIME. I can’t wait until SEPTA gets ride of the idiotic and transphobic gender stickers entirely. Until then, I am sincerely yours, fuck you very much. COUNTING DOWN THE DAYS UNTIL THE NEW FARE SYSTEM. Enjoy your taxpayer-subsidized health, dental, and retirement plan. Asshole.

This is to all the drivers who cheated on their driver’s exam who drive on Girard Avenue. First, the red dump truck driver eastbound on Girard at Broad Street shut your horn up. It is a trolley stop. People are boarding and disembarking. If you’re stupid enough to follow a trolley car...then you deserve to get delayed. I just wish there was a wheelchair passenger to further inconvenience you. Second, to idiot drivers who cut in front of the trolleys. A trolley runs on tracks it CANNOT get out of the way. If you get in its way, and there’s a crash, it’s YOUR FAULT, and I’ll laugh at you. Third, this is to the idiot drivers on Girard @ Frankford avenue. Trolleys are trying to make those turns, and you are blocking the tracks. Further, there is a traffic signal where it’s a vertical white line. That is for trolleys, NOT YOU! This note can apply to idiot drivers on Elmwood, Woodland, Chester, Baltimore, Lancaster AND Lansdowne Avenues.

You need to learn to conduct yourself in public... I couldn’t believe that you were just talking so loud on your phone and then not know who was around you kept talking and taking about sucking someone’s dick or whatever. If you too want to get together why don’t you just get together instead of talking about it on the phone. I thought it was bullshit and so did everyone that was around you...save it for the damn bedroom. Then you had the nerve to keep hitting the woman next to you with your coach bag knock-off she wanted to say something to you because she said something to me...I told her to relax because the ride wasn’t that long...we hope we don’t see you again because you may get a tongue lashing from us both.

I appreciate you calling me about someone but you know what...I am tired of you and your whole situation what do you do watch all fucking day... certain things don’t concern you why do you want to be involved in it. Mind your fucking business. Then when I had a baby you were no where to be fucking found but yet again you’re asking me about something that doesn’t have anything to do with you. Why does everyone mind someone else’s business. Who gives a fuck for real about what the other person is doing. I have had too many encounters with you and your mind games. All I wanna do is mind my own business. Thank you bitch neighbor.

You are not going to sit at my home day in and day out and eat up my fucking food and drink up all my fucking juice and just do what you want to do...I am not liking that and I am afraid that I am starting to hate you...who the fuck do you think that you are...and my birthday is at the end of the month and you sit up there and get yourself fucking fired from work...what kind of shit is that...I hate you for doing that shit...I think that you are just the laziest person that I have ever met in my life. I am tired of all your lies and everything that comes around you and with

IDIOT DRIVERS ON GIRARD AVENUE

LADY ON TRAIN

BITCH NEIGHBOR

CERTIFIED LOSER

shit and you justify it by thinking I’m mad all the time. I’ll admit, I am not perfect, I fuck up all the time, but I admit my wrongs. Your answer to every single thing is “ I didn’t do nothing.” There is a problem if you think you’re perfect. I don’t want to be with anyone perfect, I want to be with someone real. But do you boo boo, more money in my pockets.

NEVER AGAIN

to change the way you looked before you dumped me over FB. You really are ugly as fuck now that you cut your hair, you look like a girl trying to look like a boy, with that muscle-ass butt of yours! And nobody likes, you, you are a liar and all my friends know you are grimy as shit because you don’t really know who you are so you go from emo to wanna-be cool after dating me because you know that all I was, was real to you. Like, how the fuck you mistake me for some bitch that’s just gonna follow you around everywhere you go like a lost dog, I don’t know. But you had the wrong bitch and now you walking around sad like a what-the-fuck

things into consideration after your recent loss but it seems like you have gotten worse than what you were before. If you read this...get your ass together and do the right thing.

I MISS YOU BUT... Honestly I do but I don’t miss your neediness. You don’t get why I was so aggravated with the relationship. Yea, I am a complete bitch at times but when you don’t even bother to say “hello” and just send me a text about money, that makes me sick you are a man, act like one! I am not saying I don’t mind helping you out but you treat me like

Never again will I try to pick up another person on the bus. I just don’t want to be bothered. I feel like I fucked myself by meeting you on the bus. Now I am months later hating your ass. Why did I have to do that shit with you now I can’t go back and take the shit back...the only way I would be able to do that is if I had a fucking time machine. I hate the fact that you just refuse to grow the fuck up. I hate the fact that you will not take responsibility for your actions. I hate the fact that you think my house is a fucking hang out for your loser ass jail house buddies. Nobody fears you and your family for all I care all of you can eat shit and die.

✚ ADS ALSO APPEAR AT CITYPAPER.NET/lovehate. City Paper has the right to re-publish “I Love You, I Hate You”™ ads at the publisher’s discretion. This includes re-purposing the ads for online publication, or for any other ancillary publishing projects.

Adoptions ADOPTION

ADOPTION

Devoted loving married couple longs to adopt newborn. We promise a bright, loving & secure future. Expenses Paid! Please call Michele and Bob, @ 1-877-328-8296. www. ourfuturefamily.com

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Automotive Marketplace

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ANY CAR/Truck. Running or Not! Top Dollar Paid. We Come to You! Call for Instant Offer. 1-888-420-3808 www. cash4car.com NEED PARKING SPOT N/ SOUTH

I’m looking to rent an available parking space near the Broad st & South st area. email me at jem1422@ gmail.com

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Successful educated woman seeks to adopt and needs your help! Will be a loving FULLTIME mom. Expenses paid. Lisa 1-888-977-2931.

Public Notices

ATTEND COLLEGE ONLINE

AIRLINE CAREERS

begin here-Become an Aviation Maintenance Tech. FAA approved training. Financial aid if qualified-Housing available. Job placement assistance. CALL Aviation

jobs

Business Services Buy 40-Get 60 acres. $0 Down, $168/month. Money back guarantee. NO CREDIT CHECKS. Beautiful views. Roads/surveyed. Near El Paso, Texas. 1-800-8437537.www.SunsetRanches. com

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from Home. *Medical *Busin e s s * C r i m i n a l Ju s t i c e, Hospitality. Job placement assistance. Computer available. Financial Aid if qualified. SCHEV authorized. Call 888-220-3984. HYPERLINK http.// www.CenturaOnline.

Help Wanted – General HELP WANTED

Market Research Par ticipants Wanted. Need market research participants to evulate local establishments. Apply FREE: shop.bestmark. com or call 800-969-8477. HELP WANTED DRIVER

Driver-$0.01 increase per mile after 6 months and 12 months. Choose your hometime. $0.03 Quarterly Bonus. Requires 3 months recent experience. 800-414-9569 www.driveknight.com

HELP WANTED DRIVER

Driver: CDL-A Van & Flatbed *New Pay Package! *Very New Trucks *Benefi ts After 30-Days *Great Miles, Pay * D e p e n d a bl e H o m e t i m e *Star t Immediately! CDL Graduates Needed! 877917-2266 drivewithwestern.com HELP WANTED DRIVER

Drivers-Pyle Transport (A Division of A. Duie Pyle) Needs Owner Operators, Sign-On Bonus if you start on or before Dec.19th! Regional Truckload Operations. HOME EVERY WEEKEND! O/O Average $1.84/Mile. Steady, Year-Round Work. Requires CDl-A, 2Yrs. Exp. Call Dan: 877-910-7711 www.DriverForPyle.com HELP WANTED DRIVER

Dr ivers: CDL-A. Exper ience Pays! Up to $5,000 Sign-On Bonus! Tuition reimbursement up to $6000. New student pay AND lease program. Call or Apply Online! 877-521-5775 www. USATruck.jobs HELP WANTED DRIVER

Drivers: CRST offers the best Lease Purchase Program *SIGN ON BONUS! *No down payment or credit check *Great Pay *Class A CDL required *Owner Operators Welcome. Call: 866403-7044. HELP WANTED DRIVER

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Gordon Trucking, Inc. CDLA Drivers Needed! ...$1,500

SIGN ON BONUS...Refrigerated fleet & Great Miles! Pay Incentive * Benefits! Recruiters available 7 days/wk! EOE 866-554-7856.

W/D in apt; Easy walk to shops, R-7, R-8 trains to CC. Pet friendly. Non-smoking. $1200+gas 267-266-0115

HELP WANTED DRIVER

Roommates

Regional Drivers! Exceptional Pay .45 cpm plus stop pay and benefit package. Run regionally, home weekly! No NYC Metro! Call 866-511-1134 Or visit online www.DRIVEJTC. com HELP WANTED!!

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Rental Wanted APARTMENT WANTED FOR MYSELF!

I am currently looking in Center City a one or two bedroom, efficiency or studio 1st floor Older male. Ask for Christian 267-5927181.

$$$HELP WANTED$$$

Extra Income! Assembling CD cases from Home! No Experience Necessary! Call our Live Operator Now! 1-800-4057619 Ext. 2450 http://www. easywork-greatpay.com

rentals

Two Bedrooms CHESTNUT HILL GEM

HUGE 2 BR apt; New Kit/Bath;

classifieds

ADOPT: A happily married couple seeks to adopt. We’ll provide your baby with love, laughter, education, security. Wonderful extended family nearby. EXPENSES PAID. www.annieandnickadopt. info 888-964-4269.

com. www/CenturaOnline. com

the naked city | feature | a&e | the agenda | food

market place

Institute of Maintenance 888834-9715.

real estate

Land for Sale LAND FOR SALE

Potter County: 17 acres adjoining Pennsylvania State Forest. Great hunting area! Electric, perc, gently rolling woodland , Keating Summit area. 814-435-2570. $72,900 owner financing.

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food | the agenda | a&e | feature | the naked city classifieds

merchandise market BRAZILIAN FLOORING 3/4", beautiful, $2.75 sf (215) 365-5826 CABINETS KITCHEN SOLID WOOD Brand new soft close/dovetail drawers Crown Molding 25 Colors, Never Installed! Cost $5,300. Sell $1,590. 610-952-0033

Diamond Marquis white/gold band* 1.25 CT $1250 value @$3K 856.665.5513

BD a Memory Foam Mattress/Box spring and New Queen cost $1400, sell $299; King cost $1700 sell $399. 610-952-0033

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BEAGLES - AKC, female pups, 9 wks., $500. 1 hr. from Phila. Call 609-532-2015 Boxer Valley/Bulldog pups, shots & wormed, crate trained, (609)499-3378 CALTIPOO - Rare Pups M/F, Hypo, Potty Trained. $1,500 per OBO. 215-605-2128 CHINESE SHARPEI pure, M, 18 mos, black, crate trained, $175. 215-254-0562

CHOW PUPS: CKC reg., S & W, Different colors, $500. (717) 203-3764 English Bulldog AKC 2F & 1M Cute & Healthy! 14 wks $1800. 610-888-4390 GERMAN SHEPHERD - F, 10 mos, crate trained, watchdog. $350. 215-254-0562 German Shepherd Puppies Parents on premises with papers 267-977-3491 German Shepherd Pups, AKC, Ready 12/6, parents on site. $400. 215.338.2617 German Shep pups, 4 females, 3 males, very cute, ready now! $400 717.951.8320 Golden Doodle Pups - $800. V e t checked, shots & wormed. 717-927-9483 GOLDEN RETRIEVER pups, AKC, OFA, born 9/7/12, family raised, shots, wormed, $1000. Call 267-994-7244 GOLDEN RETRIEVERS - AKC, Mom & Dad on site. Ready for Xmass. 610-306-0624 Great Dane Pups Blue $550 (856)285-4069 Greater Swiss Mountain Dog pups, AKC, 9 wks, parents onsite, vet checked, shots, wormed, OFA, $1200 (717)442-5648

WANTED: Rights to Phillies tickets, lower level Hall of Fame Diamond Club. Discrete purchase. Call 609-896-3666

33 & 45 Records Absolute Higher $

***215-200-0902***

pets/livestock

Persian Kittens, adorable, CFA, shots, avail now, $500. Call 856-924-8092

2013 Hot Tub/Spa. Brand New! 6 person w/lounger, color lights, 30 jets, stone cabinet. Cover. Never installed. Cost $6K. Ask $2,750. Will deliver. 610-952-0033.

Bedroom Set 5 pc. brand new $325. All sizes, Del. Avail. 215-355-3878

everything pets Please be aware Possession of exotic/wild animals may be restricted in some areas.

Refrigerators, washers, dryers, stoves, freezers. Refurbished $159 and up. Guaranteed. Delivery avail. Call 610-469-6107

33&45 RECORDS HIGHER $ Really Paid LAB Male pup, black, AKC, 13 weeks old 1st shots , $400 856-562-7781 Lab Pups AKC ready to go Nov. 20th. $800. 215-391-6335. Lab Retriever AKC Yellow Lab Pups $800 Ready Nov. 20th. 717-669-131 9 MALTESE PUPS - Ready to Go! Call (856)875-6707

Miniature Black Labradoodle Pups - 10 weeks old, shots, wormed, vet checked, family raised, $400/ea. 717-442-0212 Old English Bulldog Pups $750. Stud Service avail. 484-266-8488 PIT BULL PUPPIES - 4 female full bred, shots record. $350/OBO. 215-391-2090

**Bob610-532-9408***

Books -Trains -Magazines -Toys Dolls - Model Kits 610-639-0563 I Buy Anything Old...Except People! antiques-collectables, Al 215-698-0787 JUNK CARS WANTED We buy Junk Cars. Up to $300 215-888-8662 Lionel/Am Flyer/Trains/Hot Whls $$$$ Aurora TJet/AFX Toy Cars 215-396-1903

jobs

apartment marketplace 20xx S Salford 2br $675/mo. w/d hkp, painted, sec8 ok 267-230-2600 2113 S. 65th St 1BR $700/mo spacious apt, incl all util, 215.280.0794 57xx Hadfield 3BR apt $575+utils first month free rent, 267-255-5203 67xx Chester Ave 1br $585/mo 2nd flr, new paint & kitch., hdwd flr, close to I-95, easy parking, 540-630-3716

214 54th St. 1BR Effic. $550 1st, last & sec. Call 610-454-0292 4140 Parrish 2br/1ba $625+utils LR, DR, kitch, bi-level & also 1br, 2nd floor, $500+utils. 267-259-0430

41st & Girard/Parkside Nice mod 1 & 2BRâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s. $495-$595+. 215-431-6677 52nd and Parkside 2br apt $600+ utils also 3rd floor Studio available $500+ utils, 1 mo. rent & sec dep. 215-284-7944

52xx Penns Grove 2BR $685/mo. Available now. Call 267-972-8618

YORKSHIRE TERRIER, 6 cute little puppies, AKC. Call John at 717-768-7390 No Sunday calls please.

Generous Reward!

LOST DOG, small black & white Male Shih tzu near 71st & City Line. Owner grieving. 215-477-7813

Veterinary Technician BRYN MAWR

Veterinary Hospital is seeking an experienced Veterinary Technician. We are a busy small animal practice focused on excellent client relations and quality medicine. Competitive salary based upon experience. If you are a team player who is interested in a fast paced environment, please fax resume to: 610-527-3070

12xx Hilton St. 2BR/1BA $650/mo. New rehab. 215-519-5437 15xx N. 29th St 4BR/1BA $800/mo duplex, 2nd & 3rd floor 215-519-5437 18xx W. Venango 1br $575 Near Temple Hospital. 267-339-1662 501x Whitaker Ave. 1BR $565+ elec. & gas, 2mo. sec. dep., h/w flrs, just painted, pvt. entrance. Call 215-820-2219

1,2, 3, 4 Bedroom FURNISHED APTS LAUNDRY-PARKING 215-223-7000 12xx W Allegheny Effic. $425 Newly renovated, Call 215-221-6542 Temple Hosp area 1-2 br $575 water incl Broad & Allegheny. 215-336-4299

58xx Theodore St. 1BR $600 Newly renovated, cozy, 215-549-9498 62xx Jefferson 2br w/w cpt, nw kitchen & bathrm 215.327.0202

Cobbs Creek 1BR $525 heat incl close to transportation, available immedietly. Call 215-806-7816

Cobbs Creek Vic. 1br $595+utils. quiet, newly renov, large rooms, conv. to public trans., all colleges & Center City, 1 mo. rent & 2 mo. sec. Call 215-880-0612

11xx Rockland St. 2br/1ba $650+utils Newly renovated. Call (215)906-7574

Melrose Park 2BR/1BA $715+utils 1st floor, private parking, free washer/ dryer use. Call 215-290-4253 XXX Eleanor St. 1BR/1BA $550+ utls. Large eatin kit near blvd/tranportation. $1100 move in. Must call 267-338-6078

W. Phila 2, 3 & 4br apts Avail Now Move in Special! 215-386-4791 or 4792

15xx W. Erie Studio $525/mo. 1br $590/mo. & 2br $640/mo. renovated, spacious, 267-230-2600 Broad & Eria Studio Apt $525/mo All utils inc. $1000 move in 215-765-5578

apartment marketplace

45xx Walnut St. 1BR $800+utils Large apt, hwd flrs, LR, DR 215-820-0342

1100 E. Cheltan Ave. 1BR $650+utils Credit check. Call 215-242-8459

2xx N 65th St 3br $950 ht/hot wtr inc 2 mo sec. off street prkg, 215-477-9236

S 16th St. Efficiency $475+utils 3rd floor, 1st, last, sec. (215)463-2071

7xx N. 63rd St. 2BR $725+elec. 3mo. rent move-in. 267-979-6262

1 BR & 2 BR Apts $725-$835 spacious, great loc., upgraded, heat incl, PHA vouchers accepted 215-966-9371 2xx W. Duval 2BR $750 2nd flr ,newly renov,d/w 216-225-9304 46xx Green St. 1BR $525+utils Clean, backyard, porch. 267-333-9600 46xx Wayne Ave. 3br $725 Fresh paint, carpets. W/D. 267-230-2600

Walnut St 2br $670 + utilities renov, 215-471-1365; 215-663-0128

Apartment Homes $650-$925 www.perutoproperties.com 215.740.4900 1100 S 58th St. 1BR & 2BR Apts heat/hw incl., lic #362013 215-525-5800

5201 Wayne Ave. Studio & 1BR On site Lndry 215.525.5800 Lic# 311890 5220 Wayne Ave. Studio, 1Br on site lndry, 215-525-5800 Lic# 507568

Roxborough 1BR/1BA $1,100 Newly Renovated includes utilities 610-909-8700

77xx Woolston Ave 19150 2br/1ba $785 duplex, w/w carpet, garage, washer/ dryer, basement storage 215-901-4700

6515 N 8th St. Studio Newly renov. Lic# 212705, 215-525-5800 66 St - 1 & 2 B R . Handicap access. Ht/wtr/gas incl! Sec8ok 215-7688243 66th Ave. & Broad St. 2BR/1BA $640 w/w crpt, fridge, cute/cozy 610.527.8547

540 N. 52nd St. 1 BR Newly renov. 215.525.5800 lic# 333911

9xx S. 58th St. 2BR $600 lrg, paint & crpt, sec 8 ok, 215-416-5862 Pit Bull pups - 3 F ,1 M, must see, parents onsite $200/obo. 267.474.8084 Pomeranian Female - 9 weeks, beautiful, $350. Call 215-453-8847 Rottweiler German pups, AKC, shots, tails clipped, 3F, $450. 267-270-5529 Shih Tzu mixes 14 weeks, shots, wormed, adorable, 609-489-3527 Westies, M & F, adorable, shots, wormed, home raised, (484)868-8452 Yorkie Pup, AKC, Male paper trained, 9 weeks, $625. Call (610)331-8233 Yorkie Puppies- AKC reg. vet checked home raised, $650. Call 215-490-2243

5200 Montgomery Ave 5BR/2BR $775 Prvt. park & water incld, eatin din-rm, new appliances, gd schls, ex-lrg rms, pics@philly.cm, safe area. Simply the best, so treat yourself this holiday 215-669-1094

Wynnewood RM 2BR $750 3rd flr, 3 mo sec, credit chk (215)871-0512

1501 Orthodox 1br newly renov, lic # 309723, 215-525-5800 16xx Harrison St. 1br Studio $450+utils 3rd flr, $1350 move in, 215-743-0503 20XX Orthodox 1br $550/mo. spacious, painted, sec8 ok 267-230-2600 4711 Leiper St. Studio renovated, lic#493309 215-525-5800 4840 Oxford Ave Studio, 1Br, 2Br Ldry, 24/7 cam lic#214340 215.525.5800

2217 E. Cumberland Studio Newly renov. 215-525-5800 lic# 356258

50xx F St. 1BR $650+ 2 mo sec, Sec 8 OK, no pets 215.539.7866 6812 Ditman St. 2 BR prkg,lndry fac.Lic#212751. 215-525-5800 Academy & Grant 2br $790+ 2nd floor, wall-to-wall carpets, C/A, off street parking. Call 856-346-0747

Algon & Rhawn 3br/2ba $950+utils 2nd floor duplex, Call (215)400-0377

Bridge & Pratt 2br $590+utils backyard, 215.613.8989, 267.746.8696 Mayfair: Tyson Ave. $625+utils 2nd flr w/ loft. priv prkg. (215) 601-9001

Northwood roommate wanted $300 mo, large 3rd floor, (215)289-9642 Red Lion/Verree Road Vic. Duplex 1 lrg oversized BR suite, nr trans & shopping, $690+util. 3 mo. req, 215-808-8863

Upper Darby 69xx Clinton Rd. 2BR $830 + utils. and 2mo. sec. dep. Nice area, new paint & carpets. Call 610-505-9754

11xx N. 55TH ST. BRAND NEW BUILDING Single rms $400. Rms w/ bath & kitchen $600. fully furnished w/ full size beds, fridge, & dresser. SSI/SSD/VA, Payee services, Public assistance ok. Also SW, S., W., N., & Frankford. 267-707-6129 20th & Allegheny: Furn. Luxury Rooms. Free utils, cable, heat. 267-331-5382 25th & Clearfield, Hunting Park & Castor, 55th & Media, 15th & Federal. Share Kitch. & Bath, $350 & up, no securi ty deposit, SSI OK. Call 215-758-7572 2764 N. Hemberger St., Rooms for rent, starting $350/mo. 267-257-3610 49th & Haverford - Clean, use of kitchen, near public transp., no drugs. $100$120/wk. Call 484-431-3670 4th & Diamond $105/wk. $225 to move in. bed, fridge & micro. 215-416-6538 51xx N. Broad St. 1BR/1BA apt. Room, fridge, 27" TV. Call 267-496-6448 56th & Lansdowne clean room $125 wk, $375 move in. 267-251-0382 59th Street S. near El, furn. room, a/c, fridge, $90/wk., $90 sec. 215-472-8119 Allegheny $90/wk. $270 sec dep. Nr EL train, furn, quiet. 609-703-4266 Art Museum move in Special luxury rms $400 mo SSI welcome 267-632-3286

Germantown, furn rms, renovated, share kitch & ba, $125-170/wk. 215-514-3960 KENSINGTON $300-$400 Clean Furnished room Call 856-465-6807 LaSalle Univ area $125/week Renov furn rooms 215-843-4481 Mt Airy, 61xx Chew Ave, Univ City 41xx Popular $85-$125/wk. 215-242-9124 MT. AIRY (Best Area) $135/wk SSI ok. Call 215-730-8956 Near Broad & Roosevelt Blvd. FREE NOV. ROOM RENT! Pay $530 Dec. 1st ONLY 1 person & Sec. Dep. required. AL:267-235-6555

N. Phila, 1709 N. Dover St., shared living, in completely rehabbed new home, $100-$125/week. Call 215-292-9545

19xx Thayer 3BR $695+ 3 mo sec, Sec 8 OK, no pets 215.539.7866 Kensington, 8XX Westmoreland $800 Beautiful 4BR/1.5BA house. Freshly painted, hardwood floor. 267-210-5810.

908 N. 29th St lrg 4BR close to Girard College 215-525-5800

11*** Bustleton Ave. 3BR/1BA $1,200 liv, din, kit, cental, hard fl & carpet, elec, wtr laund yrds stor 1250sf 215.666.6050. 52xx Burton St. 2br Section 8 approved. 215-205-9910

21xx Tasker St. 3.5br/1ba $800 freshly painted, sec 8 ok, 215-416-5862 2200 Mifflin St. 3BR/1BA $650 Move-in Special! Call Mark 215-681-4420 Pennsport, 3rd.St. 3BR/2.5BA $1800 Newly renovated home, 2000 sq.f, hardwood floor, s/s appls, c/air 267-210-5810

Juniata: 40xx Claridge 3br $875+utils fully renovated, 2 mo. dep, 267-722-8545 Vandike 3BR/1BA $900 Renov., hdwd flrs., garage. 917-379-7302

19xx S. Ithan 3br/1ba $700+utils $2100 move in fee. 267-249-6645 21xx S Gould 2BR $700+ utils. newly renov., sect. 8 ok, 267-767-4895 56th & Baltimore Ave 3br/1ba $800+util open front porch, newly renovated, avail now, "The Landlord that Cares" Tasha 267.584.5964, Mark 610.764.9739 58xx Belmar St. 3br renov, Hrdwd flr, Sec 8 ok 267-230-2600 6173 Yocum St. 3BR House Sec 8 ok. Must See 215-885-1700 63rd and Elmwood 2br $625 3 mo’s needed to move in 484-857-7072

8xx S. 56th St. 4br $850+utils $1,700 to move in. Call 484-433-5764 Elmwood area 2/3br modern, sec. 8 ok, Call 215-726-8817

1xx N. Paxon 4BR/1BA $1400/mo. Sec. 8, newly renov., C/A, W/D, D/W, fridge, granite bar. Call 215-668-9954 2BR & 3Br Houses Sec. 8 Welcome Beautifully renovated Call (267)981-2718

41 N. Robinson 4br/1ba $800 paint & carpet, sec 8 ok, 215-416-5862 56xx Carpenter St. 3BR/1BA modern, section 8 ok. 215-868-0481 60th block of Vine St. 3BR/1BA $800 Sec. 8 ok, hdwd floors, off street parking, gas heat, basement. Call 215-748-2349 980 N. 66th Street 3br/1.5ba $995 www.perutoproperties.com 215.740.4900

20xx W. CAMBRIA ST 3br/1.5ba $650 porch, 2 mo rent + sec. 267-246-7017 28xx N Taney 3 BR $700 renov, modern kit, Sec 8 ok, 216.225.9304 N. Philadelphia 3br/1ba $500+ utils porch, row house, sec. dep. required Call 610-534-3145 or 215-964-1643

Temple Area 3BR/1.5BA $825 Month Utilities, quiet street Close to Subway/C Bus/ Shopping. 267-688-5883

50xx N. 16th St. 3BR/1.5BA $850 Near Temple & LaSalle. 2 months security. 215-620-4708

62x Lindley 3br $1000+utils fresh paint, must see, 215-264-2340

HOMES & APTS . AVAIL. ALL AREAS OF THE CITY.

ANCHOR REALTY

NE 215-333-1116 www.AnchorRealtyPA.com

Dodge Intrepid ES 2001 $1975 3.2 V6, leather, moon rf, 267-592-0448 Ford Taurus 2003 $2100 107k, insp., clean, loaded.267-582-9961

Ford Taurus 2006 $4700 new tires, clean, 64k mi., 215-850-0061 Honda Civic EX 1995 $1,800 5 speed, 2 door coupe. 267-970-2623 Hyundai Accent 1999 $950 5spd, a/c, 38mpg, runs nw 215.620.9383 Hyundai Elantra GLS 2006 $2650 4 door, loaded, high miles, 215-847-7346

MERCURY COUGAR XR7 1997 $3200obo all pwr AC Radio Alarm system NJ inspect good to 5/14, 104k mi, V6, 215-334-7717 Mitsubishi Diamante LS 1994 $3500 187k, exc. cond, 1 owner, 215.669.2706

Pontiac Grand Prix SE 2000 $3500/bo good cond., 85k, runs grt, (856)466-7070 Subaru Legacy AWD 1997 $3500 4 dr, 97k, auto, moonroof, 215-830-8881

FOLLOW THE LEADER

Clifton Heights 3br/2ba $1400 renov. Twnhse, fin bsmt, nice neighborhood, sect. 8 ok (484)716-8823 Darby 3br/1.5ba $1200/mo. Completely renov., AC, driveway, backyard, frontyard, porch, finished bsmt, avail. immed. Call 267-808-9792 Upper Darby nr 69th term. 3br $800+ close to trans/shopping (215)872-6395

resorts/rent Camelback Mtn. Ski House for rent, weekends, weekdays, New Years Eve. walking dist. to slopes (609)965-6112

Cash paid on the spot for unwanted vehicles, 24/7 pick up, 215-288-9500

Junk Cars & Trucks Wanted, $400, Call 856-365-2021

FOLLOW THE INQUIRER ON FACEBOOK Get the latest relevant news, opinions and more, from the region’s most trustworthy news and information source, right on your Facebook feed. Follow us at www.facebook.com/phillyinquirer.

JUNK CARS WANTED 24/7 REMOVAL. Call 267-377-3088

The Inquirer A1 PRICES FOR JUNK CARS FREE TOWING, Call (215) 726-9053

H.D. Dyna Wide Glide 2005 $8500 11k mi., screaming eagle exhaust, exc. cond, K & H air filter, Joe 609-226-5350

For home delivery, go to subscribe.Inquirer.com or call 800.222.2765. To advertise, call 215.854.5542. This is an ad for The Inquirer which is not affiliated with Facebook.

N. Phila: clean, modern rms, use of kit, no drugs,reasonable rent. 215-232-2268 N Phila Furn, Priv Ent $75 & up No drugs, SSI ok. 215.763.5565 N. Phila Vanpelt St. Spacious, Renov, $85-$125 week, call 267-471-8171 N. Philly $100/wk, spacious rm, kitch en, bath, SSI ok. Call 267-516-6235

71xx Stenton Ave 2BR/1.5BA $1000+utils Half finished bsmnt. Call 215-242-0719

Buick Lesabre 1997 $2,600 Inspec., new radials, clean. 610-667-4829 Cadillac DeVille 2005 $3,875 White, leather, CD, clean. 267-592-0448 Chrysler 300M 2002 $2,495 Mint, leather, moon roof. 267-592-0448

P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R | N O V E M B E R 2 2 - N O V E M B E R 2 8 , 2 0 1 2 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T |

Frankford 4356 Josephine St. $100/wk. Access to whole house. 215-760-0206 Frankford, nice rm in apt, near bus & El, $300 sec, $90/wk & up. 215-526-1455 Germantown Area: NICE, Cozy Rooms Private entry, no drugs (267)988-5890

homes for rent

6224 Clearview 3BR/1BA $875+utils Remod. W/D. Sec 8 ok! 215-499-2364

low cost cars & trucks

classifieds

East Oaklane furn room, share house $450/inc util, sec req 215.549.0634

homes for rent

the naked city | feature | a&e | the agenda | food

apartment marketplace

Richmond furn room, use of kitch, $100/wk Proof of income 215-634-1139 SW Phila rm for rent $250 move in, share kit & bth. Call 267-251-2749 SW, W & N Phila, large rooms for rent, utils incl, newly renov. 267-625-4625 University City Rooms & Apts for Rent 267-581-5870 Upper Darby Clean rooms, use of kitchen, no drugs, close to transportation. Call 484-431-3670 WEST OAKLANE $110/wk. Furn, a/c, pvt entrance. 215-205-2437 W Phila clean med rm, pvt entr, nr tran Must be workg/avl now215-494 8794 W Phila & G-town: Newly ren lg, lux rms /apts very peaceful SSI ok, 267-241-0149 W & SW Phila Newly renov rooms, share kitch & bath, all utils incl. 267.625.4625

54 | P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R | N O V E M B E R 2 2 - N O V E M B E R 2 8 , 2 0 1 2 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T

classifieds

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P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R | N O V E M B E R 2 2 - N O V E M B E R 2 8 , 2 0 1 2 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T | 55

billboard [ C I T Y PA P E R ]

NOVEMBER 22 - NOVEMBER 28, 2012 CALL 215-735-8444

LE BUS SANDWICHES AT THE EL BAR!?!?! It’s true! They’re here and delivered daily! 1356 North Front Street 215-634-6430

712 LABEL PRESENTS

RUSTE JUXX, OUTERSPACE, UPTOWN EZY, CITIZEN XAVIER, ONE LION SUN RA @DOWLINGS PALACE 12/14/2012 - $15 @ DOOR WWW.THE712LABEL.COM

STUDY GUITAR W/ THE BEST David Joel Guitar Studio

FREE DRINKING SMARTPHONE APP!!!

City Paper is very pleased to bring you our very first smartphone app! Just go to www.citypaper.net and click our martini glass icon to find out more, or type in ‘Happy Hours in the app store, android marketplace, or blackberry app world. Click the orange martini icon and get drinking. No matter where you go or when you go, you can find the nearest happy hours to you with a single click! You can even sort through bars by preference or neighborhood.

All Styles All Levels. Former Berklee faculty member. Masters Degree with 27 yrs. teaching experience. 215.831.8640 www.myphillyguitarlessons.com

HAPPY HOUR AT THE ABBAYE $2 OFF ALL DRAFTS $3 WELL DRINKS $5 HAPPY HOUR MENU Only at the Abbaye 637 N. 3rd Street (215) 627-6711 www.THEABBAYE.net

AWARD WINNING, WORLD FAMOUS CUSTOM STUDIO ARTISTIC TATTOOING!

17 Rotating Drafts Close to 200 Bottles

www.devilsdenphilly.com www.facebook.com/devilsdenphiladelphia www.twitter.com/devilsdenphilly

Let the GIFT Getting Begin! At The BIZARRE BAZAAR

Philadelphia Eddies 621 Tattoo Haven 621 South 4th St Middle of Tattoo Row) 215-922-7384 Open 7 Days

Cool-lectibles & Freaky Finds! Sourpuss Access./Bags/T’s/etc An Eclectic Emporium of Everything Esoteric 720 Sth 5th st. Philly

I BUY RECORDS, CD’S, DVD’S

TOP PRICES PAID. No collection too small or large! We buy everything! Call Jon at 215-805-8001 or e-mail dingo15@hotmail.com

Theatre Exile’s The English Bride

Now Playing! Seating Limited! 13th & Reed Sts. “Truth mixed in with lies, love with hate.” 215.218.4022 or theatreexile.org

LAS VEGAS LOUNGE

Serving 20 oz Drafts, NOT 16. SIZE DOES MATTER. 704 Chestnut Street 215-592-9533 www.LasVegasLounge.com FREE PIZZA! $2 BEER OF THE WEEK! $2 WELL DRINKS! IT’S AMAZING! PASSYUNK AVE (7th & CARPENTER) 215-465-5505 myspace.com/thedivebar

12 Years of experience. Offering personal fitness training, nutrition counseling, and flexibility training. Specialize in osteoporosis, injuries, special needs. In home or at 12th Street Gym. MCKFitness@yahoo.com

WEEKDAYS 5-7PM

Ristorante Napoletano True wood-fired Neapolitan Pizza BYOB 8500 Henry Ave. (Andora Shopping Center) 215-621-6134 full menu at www.pizzeriadimeos.com

HAPPY HOUR AT THE DIVE

Building Blocks to Total Fitness

½ PRICED DRAFTS

Pizzeria DiMeo’s Voted “Top 50 Pizzas in the Country”

TEQUILA SUNRISE RECORDS

525 West Girard Ave VINYL AND CD SPECIALISTS CLASSIC & MODERN GLOBAL SOUNDS HOUSE TECHNO DUBSTEP DUB DISCO FUNK SOUL JAZZ DIY PUNK LSD ROCK AND LIGHT HARMONY ROOTS BLUES NOISE AVANT AND MORE TUESDAY-SUNDAY 12-6PM 01-215-965-9616

Fashion Fetish?

200+ steel boned corsets in stock size S-8XL Rubber-Leather-KiltsMore by 26 designers. PASSIONAL Boutique 704 S. 5th St. Noon-10PM, 7 days a week www.passionalboutique.com

SEMEN DONORS NEEDED

Healthy, College Educated Men 1839 ~ $150/Sample WWW.123DONATE.COM

ACHTUNG BABY, BGIERSTUBE B ERMAN IERGARTEN BURGERS, BRATS AND 200+ BEERS FO SHIZZLE MA SCHNITZEL! 206 Market St. 215-922-2958

A HOUSE OF LAGERS

Mon-Wed 5pm-2am, Thurs-Sun 11am-2am

Reser vations at www.mybierstube.com

village belle WE WOULD LIKE TO WISH EVERYONE A HAPPY & HEALTHY HOLIDAY SEASON DINNER TUES-THURS 5-10, FRI-SAT 5-11, LUNCH, SAT 11-4, SUN BRUNCH 10:30-3:30 GIFT CERTIFICATES AVAILABLE 757 south front street at fitzwater 215-551-2200 www.thevillagebelle.com