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contents Let’s have a moment of silence.
Naked City ...................................................................................7 Arts & Entertainment.........................................................18 Movies.........................................................................................22 The Agenda ..............................................................................24 Food & Drink ...........................................................................38 COVER ILLUSTRATION BY JOEL KIMMEL
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CP’s Quality-o-Life-o-Meter
[ +4 ]
Residents of Camden County, N.J., will soon be able to contact 911 via text message. Anything less than a double homicide will get this auto-response: “LMFAO. U R 2 funy!”
[ -1 ]
Thirty people are evacuated from an apartment building in Pottstown due to a carbonmonoxide leak. Fun factoid: One hundred percent of the residents who refused to evacuate believe Andy Reid deserves another year.
[ -1 ]
A broken pipe leaks sewage into the Burlington Center Mall, sickening some shoppers. Fun factoid: One hundred percent of those who continued to shop are active philly.com commenters.
[ +1 ]
Pennsylvania Sen. Bob Casey, who formerly opposed stricter gun-control laws, now says he would support a bill to ban assault weapons. A timely change of heart!
[ -1 ]
Police Commissioner Charles Ramsey, just selected to join the president’s “gun violence panel,” says he doubts gun laws will be changed. A wonderful attitude!
[ -3 ]
Representatives from the Mural Arts Program and other city officials travel to a city near the Gaza strip to offer advice on “creative entrepreneurism.” “We told them all about our Frank Rizzo mural. They showed us some lovely Jackson Pollock-style street art done up in blood and ash.”
[ +2 ]
Free condom dispensers are installed in 22 Philly high schools. Levels of safe sex remain unchanged; however, these kids are getting really good at balloon animals. Pretty much everyone can do a penis.
[ +2 ]
A Bucks County man returns from a fiveday deer hunt to find he’d won $50 million in the Powerball drawing. “Does the ticket still count if I got deer piss on it? I’m asking because I got deer piss on it.”
This week’s total: +5 | Last week’s total: 0
NUTRITION FACTS: A dry-food crisis in October left the shelves bare at Philabundance and shut down some food pantries. Holiday-season food drives restocked the shelves at the city’s largest food bank — for now. NEAL SANTOS
[ crisis ]
HUNGER PAINS Plummeting donations and surging demand have put anti-hunger programs at a historic crossroads. By Samantha Melamed
I
t’s a chilly Thursday night in Kensington, and William Heinemann — a recently homeless man whom everyone calls Billy the Kid — has been in line outside St. Michael’s Lutheran Church for more than an hour, waiting for the food pantry to open. “I used to get here later,” he says. But with more first-time clients lining up each week, “they run out of the good stuff.” It’s a problem not limited to St. Michael’s. Since the start of the recession, the nation’s food supply chain has transformed in sweeping (and, for anti-hunger programs, devastating) ways that have increased efficiency for manufacturers while drastically reducing the availability of donated food for pantries across the city and around the country. Meanwhile, demand has exploded: up 29 percent over last year in the Delaware Valley, part of a 98-percent increase in need over the past three years. Those converging trends culminated in October with a critical shortage of dry food (that is, nonperishable items) at Philabundance, the region’s largest food bank, which serves hundreds of pantries and kitchens across the city. “For about three weeks, there was nothing on the [warehouse] floor that hadn’t been ordered already,” says Philabundance executive director Bill Clark. The nonprofit had to tap its reserve fund
to buy food, an expensive, unsustainable tactic. And such a crisis “may happen again. It really rang a lot of bells,” Clark says. Because of the shortage, St. Michael’s pantry closed for a week in October, for the first time in 30 years. A food drive run by a Boy Scout troop from Mayfair eventually saved the day, says Frank Mawson, who runs the pantry. “The 4,000 food items they gave us filled our shelves up pretty good,” Mawson says. That a Boy Scout troop — one that had long since moved out of the neighborhood — was the only thing keeping St. Michael’s scores of clients in canned goods underscores how tenuous the situation has become. Providers like Mawson are beset by forces beyond their control: climbing gas prices and global weather fluctuations that drive up the cost of food — and, lately, a sudden upheaval of the food bank system as we’ve known it for decades. “Food banks were created 30 years ago, and the whole premise was, ‘There’s all this extra food. Let’s get that food in the door and put it out there.’ It was all focused on logistics,” says Marlo DelSordo, Philabundance’s director of marketing. Manufacturers would produce more than they needed and send the extra to food banks. But when the recession hit, manufacturers tightened up their margins, meaning fewer direct donations. That has coincided with a sharp decline in “salvage” donations, dented cans or torn boxes that would once have been donated as write-offs. In the last three to five years, food salvage has been making its way to “secondary markets” — grocery auctions that special-
The pantry closed for the first time in 30 years.
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[ 2] +
A man steals a cell phone from an 18-yearold kid on North Broad Street, then pulls a gun when the victim attempts to chase him down. Oh, if only they’d both had guns, then they’d both be dead, instead of just one having to get a new cell phone. Sorry. Bell Curve is cranky right now.
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✚ Hunger Pains
[ the naked city ]
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ize in cheap, expired food, and increasingly popular dollar stores. DelSordo says that in one year, 4 million pounds of salvage in the Philabundance warehouse dwindled to just 400,000 pounds. Things became desperate in October because more than half of the food bank’s donations come from individual donors — and almost of all of that is taken in between Thanksgiving and New Year’s, what Clark calls the “rainy season.” By October, the surplus from holiday season 2011 was gone. The Grapevine — Philabundance’s weekly menu of items available to pantries, who “buy” food at deep discounts, usually with state funding — would get posted, “and within hours there was nothing available,” DelSordo says. “In all my time here, that had never happened before.” The impact at pantries has been predictable. “We’ve reduced the amount that each client can get,” says Rev. Jim Wilkin of Bridesburg United Methodist Church. He also had to restrict eligibility, serving two nearby zip codes instead of six. Feast of Justice, at St. John’s Evangelical Lutheran Church in Northeast Philly, is also stretching its supply: They gave out 10 percent more food in the fiscal year ended in June, but to 45 percent more households, Rev. Tricia Neale says. They had to buy food to offset the shortfall. “We’re nowhere near having that [demand] stabilize,” Clark says. “The longer people are stressed in these economic conditions, the closer they are to the point where anything can put them over the edge.” On a recent evening, that pressure was evident on the faces of first-time visitors to St. Michael’s, where Mawson now packs 75 bags of food a week, up from 55 a few months ago. Every food-pantry novice City Paper spoke with had been laid off from work in the building trades (construction jobs are down by 4 percent from last year in Philly). Joe Beideman, a plumber, lost his job and home six months ago. “People haven’t got money to even make necessary repairs,” he says; when there’s a plumbing emergency, he sometimes helps for free. David Figanik, a roofer who was laid off two months ago, is feeling desperate: “I got a 16-yearold and a 9-year-old, and my savings are depleted.” His kids’ mother is unable to work, but her application for Social Security Disability was denied, and her food stamps had lapsed. He had never reapplied. “I wasn’t one for sucking off the system. I was making like $25 an hour. We didn’t need it.” Kate, a mother of three whose husband lost his job as a contractor, says she gets food stamps; even with coupons, they last only about three weeks. Then there are people like Heinemann who were barely holding it together before Pennsylvania eliminated General Assistance, the $205 monthly welfare that kept many addicts and people with disabilities off the street. Because of that cut, Heinemann lost his housing; he now camps in a local garden. The pantry (along with friends who let him cook in their kitchens) enables him to get by. Like Heinemann, Philabundance is scrambling to adapt to a new reality. That’s meant reducing agency deliveries from four to two times per month;
putting items on the Grapevine that previously wouldn’t have qualified; and trying to offset the decline in dry food with more fresh or frozen foods. Donations of such goods are actually growing, from programs like Grocers Against Hunger, which deals in nearly expired meat and dairy. But getting those goods to food pantries, which tend not to have freezers or cold trucks at their disposal, is a new and costly challenge. Philabundance is using a $100,000 grant from the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation to equip 22 pantries to accept such donations. Meanwhile, Philabundance is looking to replenish its food fund — and fast. DelSordo is getting creative, with efforts like a “virtual food drive” and corporate sponsorships for the organization’s Fresh for
“Within hours, there was nothing available.” All locations. They’ve been working with partners to grow more food, and Clark is hoping the Fare & Square nonprofit supermarket, a pilot project in Chester, can be replicated. Given all that, Clark might even have cause to be optimistic. But there’s a twist — a fiscal cliffhanger, if you will. A great deal depends on what happens in the next few weeks in Washington, where a new farm bill may or may not include cuts to food stamps. Even a small cut, Clark says, could be disastrous. “All of the food that food banks supply — that could pay for 10 percent of what’s purchased with food stamps. If they cut food stamps by 5 percent, I would have to get a 50 percent increase in poundage.” All he knows for sure is, with holiday food drives, the shelves are stocked again. “But we don’t know if we’re already eating into January’s and February’s volume to meet December’s need.” (samantha@citypaper.net)
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hostilewitness
[ the naked city ]
By Daniel Denvir
OFF TARGET ³ THE NATIONAL RIFLE Association’s bullying,
funded by hysterical members and gun manufacturers fighting to maintain market share, has long blocked legislation to permanently ban assault weapons and high-capacity magazines and to close the gun-show loophole on background checks. Conventional wisdom says that could change: Meaningful gun control is now possible, tragically, in response the Connecticut massacre of 27 teachers and young students. But there’s also peril here: The momentum to pass meaningful gun-control measures could be co-opted by the right’s so-called law-and-order approach of mandatory minimum sentences for illegal gun possession. Gun-control advocates should be wary of such legislation, which not only fails to stem gun violence but also exacerbates another problem: our bloated prison system, now home to 2.2 million Americans. This year, the Pennsylvania House passed, by a 190-7 vote, just such a pro-incarceration measure. House Bill 2331 would have imposed a mandatory five-year-minimum sentence on any convicted felon caught carrying a gun. Thankfully, it was never voted on by the Senate. Rep. Greg Vitali (D-Delaware County), a tenacious and lonely critic of mandatory minimums whom Republican opponents like to deride as soft on crime, explains: “Many legislators fear voting against mandatory minimums because you can get hammered politically. … You always lose the sound-bite war.” House Bill 2331 merits skepticism as a “gun control” bill. After all, it was backed by fringeright state Rep. Daryl Metcalfe, a co-sponsor of Pennsylvania’s “Stand Your Ground” law (remember Trayvon Martin?) and an ally of the “makes the NRA look like a pack of liberal bed-wetters” Firearm Owners Against Crime. Metcalfe’s libertarian outlook on guns doesn’t extend to those, disproportionately non-white and poor, caught in the criminal-justice system. “If a criminal uses a gun, they ought to have the hammer of justice brought down on their head pretty severely,” he said in May. Philly District Attorney Seth Williams and Police Commissioner Charles Ramsey testified in favor. “This bill will go a long way toward being a disincentive to people to carrying a gun illegally,” Ramsey told the Inquirer.“It’s going to make a lot of people think twice.” But Pennsylvania law already imposes a mandatory five-year sentence for felons who commit a new crime while armed — to little effect. A 2007 Pennsylvania Commission on Sentencing report found that “neither the length of sentence, nor the imposition of the mandatory sentence per se, was a predictor of recidivism.” Commission executive director Mark Bergstrom,
however, warned that the law could put thousands more in prison. CeaseFirePA’s Max Nachmann, an earnest opponent of gun violence, brushed off the evidence, telling the Inky that “the bill will result in … fewer people in the ground shot dead and fewer people behind bars as people get the message that it’s not OK to carry a gun illegally.” Most federal judges criticize mandatory minimums, perhaps unsurprisingly since the laws are intended to withdraw discretion from “lenient” judges. In reality, such laws simply transfer a judges’ power to prosecutors, who control what charges are filed and threaten draconian sentences to force plea bargains. Prosecutors use that discretion inconsistently. Fewer than half of all defendants charged for crimes covered by mandatory minimums in
The push for gun control could be coopted. Pennsylvania receive them. Last week, the NRA also touted a law-and-order solution of armed cops in every school, arguing that “only a good guy with a gun” can take on the “unknown number of genuine monsters” and “the much larger, more lethal criminal class.” In NRA-land, America’s basic problems are caused by a horde of irredeemable sociopaths who must be either jailed or killed. The problem is, this mind-set utterly fails to address factors that drive young men in this city to carry and use guns. Harsh sentences won’t bring back to life the 327 Philadelphians murdered so far this year. We must think more carefully about what sort of gun control we want. This sentencing freefor-all has succeeded in only one thing: making the United States, which pretends to be a beacon for freedom, the most incarcerated place on earth. (daniel.denvir@citypaper.net)
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Ord er O n Gru At line bhu b.co m
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By Elliott Sharp
TOP PHILLY RAP
ASAAD #WHITE | ( L I V E M I X T A P E S D L )
1
Even when chomping Kobe steak and puffing A-1 blunts, Asaad’s furious — it’s like he’s pissed at his inability to escape the rap-life pattern. This vitriolic, “good-could-be-better” perspective fueled #WHITE,the best of the North Philadelphian’s three 2012 releases.
GRANDE MARSHALL 800 | ( S O U N D C L O U D D L )
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This elegant debut tape got Grande, a teenager who pretty much came outta nowhere, signed by Fools Gold. He overdosed on A$AP Rocky’s trendy purple poison on previous singles, but with 800’s deep-smoke lyrics and ponderous beats, Grande finally became Grande.
LUSHLIFE Plateau Vision | ( W E S T E R N V I N Y L )
3
With the exception of Meek Mill, South Philly’s Lushlife earned more positive national attention than any local rapper this year. A poignant lyricist with cosmopolitan production values, Plateau Vision justified the buzz. YIKES THE ZERO A Kid and His Monsters | ( B A N D C A M P D L )
4
Yikes, the eccentric Fishtown rapper, has more in common with underground MCs of yore (Madlib, Kool Keith) than today’s mixtape herd. This debut was a bizarre voyage into the surreal galaxy of a kid trapped inside sci-fi films, comic books and fairy tales. JAY D & NELLY NELL The Outline
MAPS AND LEGENDS: Wes Anderson uses artificiality as a conduit to real emotions in Moonrise Kingdom.
[ movies ]
BEST PICTURES Want to cast your Oscar bets early? Let our critics help, as they weigh in on the year’s top films — the best, the most talked about and the ones that deserve more attention.
³ ARGO Ben Affleck continues to atone for his acting career with another taut, smart thriller. The true story of a too-ridiculous-not-tobe-true CIA rescue scheme set during the Iran hostage crisis, Argo laces a patiently simmering suspense with a dark sense of humor. There’s no shortage of wide lapels, but the real evidence that More on: Affleck studied up on the ’70s is in his All the President’s Men-inspired ability to create jawclenching tension in spite of a preordained outcome. His broad swipes at Hollywood idiocy are pulled back from the brink by the caustic banter between John Goodman and Alan Arkin as the movie industry insiders made unflappable by their everyday absurdities. —Shaun Brady
citypaper.net
This soulful collaboration envisioned a world where rap’s still about having fun, not about >>> continued on page 20
³ THE CABIN IN THE WOODS Lined with so much nerd-Sorkin banter that it’s hard not to picture writer/producer Joss screaming “WHEDON-ED!” at his notepad as punctuation for each glib pen FOR MORE OF OUR stroke, The Cabin in the Woods is kind of CRITICS’ PICKS, annoying. But it’s also kind of brilliant, S E E C I T Y PA P E R . a postmodern gore party less fascinated NET/MOVIES. with what scares us than with why. Hot youngsters embarking on a weekend trip to a remote, foreboding destination — we watch this crap 25 times a year, right? Well, it’s never been framed quite like this, as an ancient exercise in cosmic balance that’s somehow become copy-room corporate. It’s funny, too, as unfunny as that sounds. —Drew Lazor
³ BEASTS OF THE SOUTHERN WILD
³ CHRONICLE
Benh Zeitlin’s Sundance-heralded debut feature is as messy and heartfelt a patchwork as the Island of Misfit Cajuns that it depicts. While Zeitlin doesn’t entirely deflect criticism that he’s
Best bros always butt heads. First-timer Josh Trank reminds us of as much with surprising savvy, impressive considering his
(SOUNDCLOUD DL)
5
romanticizing poverty, his hand-crafted magical realism overcomes such pitfalls of privilege through the untethered ferocity of its imagination. The isolated community where its characters live is called the Bathtub, but it’s more of a kitchen sink, piled high with the wide-ranging, awe-inflected, emotionally fraught interior world of a young child. It has the overstuffed feeling of many a first feature, but it’s encouraging to find ambition, however indulged, rather than the tepid introspection of so much indie film. —SB
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[ a kind-of brilliant postmodern gore party ] trio of fragile high-schoolers packs enough otherworldly punch to outmuscle the X-Men. Andrew (Dane DeHaan), Matt (Alex Russell) and Steve (Michael B. Jordan), the core of Chronicle, are just like any other gangly awkward-teen klatsch, but their accidental acquisition of super-abilities amplifies every adolescent shortcoming. What each boy decides to do with his immeasurable power drives one of 2012’s more overlooked actioners. —DL
³ THE DEEP BLUE SEA Based on a Terence Rattigan play, Terence Davies’ welcome return to feature-filmmaking is a literal chamber piece, shut up in the dark and, at one point, in a gas-filled room where nobleman’s wife Rachel Weisz receives her working-class lover. Although her suicide attempt fails, the toxic cloud never dissipates, shrouding the film in a haze as the dust of World War II settles on London. Davies’ gorgeous film is at once melancholy and cruel, shot through with an affection for the days when crowds in pubs or bomb shelters could join in a life-affirming song as well as a hatred for the social codes that strangled their passions. —Sam Adams
³ THE HUNGER GAMES
³ THE MASTER Everyone slavering over the prospect of a Paul Thomas Anderson take-down of Scientology was left a bit perplexed by what actually arrived on screen: a monolithic, oblique study of the relationship between two inscrutable men. Joaquin Phoenix’s mannered approach has never been put to more appropriate use, while Philip Seymour Hoffman suggests an inner life far less savory than his cult leader’s genteel exterior presents. Their unlikely pairing is at different times one of father/son, mentor/student, leader/disciple, dictator/thug, and possibly lovers. Anderson traces their tempestuous relationship at a mesmerizing pace, as determinedly adrift as its characters and as equally set on conjuring its own mythology. —SB
Think of it as a dysfunctional Before Sunrise.
³ MOONRISE KINGDOM It all comes down to fishhook earrings. At a pivotal moment in Wes Anderson’s screwball fable, two young lovers rendezvous on an island beach, and the boy gives the girl — and children they remain — a pair of earrings fashioned from fishing lures. Pushing the barbed hooks through her unpierced lobes works as a canny metaphor for deflowering, but it also sums up the formula behind Anderson’s best movies: aesthetics plus pain. In The Life Aquatic, Anderson argued that artificiality — faked documentaries, Plasticine fish — can be a conduit to real emotions, and in Moonrise Kingdom, he proves the point. —SA
³ SILVER LININGS PLAYBOOK The Hunger Games
Beasts of the Southern Wild
TOP ELECTRONIC
TNGHT EP | ( W A R P / L U C K Y M E )
1
This will go down as the year of trap, and this collaboration between Hudson Mohawke and Lunice is a clear standout in a crowded field. The whole thing is bonkers. ROYAL-T Rinse presents Royal-T | ( R I N S E )
2
Royal-T is a rising talent in London grime, and his debut album showcases a sick array of pounding beats and colorful synths. The guest features, including Merky Ace, on this LP are as massive as the bass. Turn it up and get raving. SLICK SHOOTA Draw | ( H Y P E R B O L O I D )
3
All the tracks are full-throttle dancefloor fodder, treading juke styles with influences of drum ’n’ bass and trap. The Fellepus remix of “Bruk” is so damn catchy, I might’ve played it at every DJ set the past five months. VARIOUS ARTISTS Escape from Chicago, Compilation Vol. 1 (LOOSE SQUARES)
4
Chrissy Murderbot curates a booming 10track compilation of forward-thinking footwork. Almost every song is spot on, with LV & Mumdance’s “Steak Night” standing out as dance music for people fucked in the head, and I mean that in the best way. TERROR DANJAH The Dark Crawler | ( H Y P E R D U B )
5
This release boasts an impressive selection of collaborators from scene vets to upstart talents. I particularly dig hearing the vocal interplay of Trim & Kozzie. Top-notch production values throughout. (gair79@citypaper.net)
✚ For more of Gair’s favorites, see citypaper.net/music.
19
Few locally set films “do Philly” with as much honesty and heart as Silver Linings Playbook, and, just like the city that inspired David O. Russell’s adaptation of Matthew Quick’s novel, it’s all thanks to the people. Bradley Cooper’s portrayal of Pat, a rabid Eagles fan whose violent psychotic break takes him from an institution to his childhood DelCo home, is textured and arresting, more than enough to permanently bail him out of square-jawed typecast prison. But it’s the shaky emotional bridges he builds to reach his co-stars — a tremendous Jennifer Lawrence as his equally tortured love interest, Robert De Niro as his caring-yet-careless father — that tighten the strings of a role that’d loosen in the hands of a less-engaged leading man. —DL (editorial@citypaper.net)
TNGHT
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Can a mega-hit book converted into a mega-hit movie make a lasting impression outside its ferocious mega-fanbase? The answer is yes, but only if you’ve got an arrow-armed force like Jennifer Lawrence calling the shots. Without her, this big-budg take on the first part of Suzanne Collins’ crossover YA series might skew closer to Twilight-land than anyone would like. With her, it’s a way-long but well-wrought dig into a dystopia where children are made the literal breadwinners, feeding starving families on the strength of their televised fighting skills. The Hunger Games faithful might never stop to think how the franchise would unfold without her, but they should. —DL
It’s hard to discuss Julia Loktev’s portrait of discord between a backpacking couple without making it sound like it’s something it’s not. In fact, it’s hard to discuss it at all. The narrative pivots on a moment that in any other film would be a mere plot point, but as the film is otherwise free of plot altogether, it’s as momentous as (and less contrived than) any gimmicky twist. In vast stretches of real time — think of it as a dysfunctional Before Sunrise — Loktev lays bare the way events that last seconds can lay bare vast fissures in a relationship’s surface that they may spend years trying to cover over again. —SA
bestof2012 By Gair “dev79” Marking
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Check out City Paper’s
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[ arts & entertainment ]
record deals and Twitter followers. Even when these two young West Philly rappers growled, they did so with pure joy.
citypaper.net/criticalmass
MEEK MILL Dreamchasers 2 (DATPIFF DL)
6
This tape was superior to Meek’s debut, Dreams & Nightmares. His most exhilarating work this year (“Ready Or Not,” “Flexing,” “Use to Be,” “Amen”) appeared on Dreamchasers 2, eclipsing his highly anticipated “official” album. WRECKING CREW PRESENTS Wu-Tang Pulp (BANDCAMP DL)
7
Tampering with Wu-Tang Clan songs is blasphemous, but Zilla Rocca, Has-Lo and Curly Castro somehow achieved an idiosyncratically re-imagined homage for their heroes. With its countless Wu references — some obvious, some esoteric — Pulp can easily become a drinking game for Shaolin heads.
DICE RAW The Greatest Rapper Never Vol. 1
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(SOUNDCLOUD DL)
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The Roots associate (most recently appearing on 2011’s Undun) snuck this DJ Drama-produced tape onto the Internet this summer. Even when rapping on a Fiona Apple sample, Dice remains volatile and militant.
SWIPER Stupid Genius (MEDIAFIRE DL)
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Visit the Pennsylvania Farm Show by Train This Trips by Train excursion takes you to the PA Farm Show. Enjoy family, fun and farming at the largest indoor agricultural exposition in the country! With nearly 6,000 animals, 10,000 exhibits, and some of the best farm fresh food anywhere, it’s a great trip for the whole family! Discounted package available at PaTripsbyTrain.com
JAN 5-12, 2013 | HARRISBURG Amtrak is a registered service mark of the National Railroad Passenger Corporation.
Don’t make the mistake of judging this tape by the shitty title. Like Jay D and Nelly Nell (both of whom appear here), the 17-year-old Swiper has fun when he raps. He’s introspective, too, and understands the value of celebrating the ridiculous, which mostly happened on food-related songs (see “Bacon Soda” and “Chicken”).
SLAUGHTER RICO various songs (DATPIFF DL)
10
The virtuosic street rapper Slaughter Rico didn’t release an album this year, so this is cheating. However, a few tracks appeared on a compilation called Philly Goes in for a Cold Winter Grind. Slaughter’s been on hiatus since the mid-2000s, but hopefully this means an album’s coming next year. Dear Slaughter: We’re waiting. (e_sharp@citypaper.net)
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Not Fade Away
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Located on the corner of 2nd and Arch. All PAWS animals are spayed/neutered, vaccinated, and microchipped before adoption. For more information, call 215-238-9901 ext. 30 or email adoptions@phillypaws.org
NOT FADE AWAY|D Following up The Sopranos is a tall order, so perhaps it’s no surprise that series creator David Chase lowered his sights for his first theatrical feature — so much so that he ends in the dirt. John Magaro is engrossing as a New Jersey teenager named Douglas who dreams of fronting the Garden State’s answer to the Rolling Stones, but the film is a jumbled mess of conflicting tones and half-sketched ideas; it’s like an explosion in a script factory. There’s evident passion in Chase’s devotion to the details of starting a band, the mixture of self-doubt and arrogance that goes with reaching for the brass ring. (When one of Douglas’ relatives asks if playing music keeps you young, he drawls, “Does Dostoyevsky keep you young?”) It’s as if Chase is lost without the discipline of the writers’ room, or perhaps he’s just relishing the freedom of not having to bridge the gap between one episode and the next. Whatever the reason, Not Fade Away is shockingly off-key at times, the only upside being that it’s so forgettable it won’t leave a dent on Chase’s shining legacy. —Sam Adams (Ritz Five) PROMISED LAND|BA Dave Eggers treatment adapted by Matt Damon and John Krasinski and preened heartland pretty by Gus Van Sant, Promised Land aims to fasten human faces on the natural-gas drilling debate, and it succeeds in this right. But though “message” movies rarely lack partisan bombast, this one has such a light touch that even its strongest declarations sound like bets-hedging. Steve (Damon), a poised corporate up-and-comer partnered with veteran saleswoman Sue (Frances McDormand), sets his boots down in the small, state-unspecified town of
McKinley, tasked with leasing land for hydraulic fracturing, or “fracking.” Those boots, turns out, aren’t just benign footwear; they belonged to Steve’s blue-collar Iowa granddad, and it’s this corn-fed upbringing that gives him an edge when convincing struggling agricultural families to scribble on the line. Things are going well, especially with lovely local Alice (Rosemarie DeWitt) — until Dustin (Krasinski), a backpack-toting activist with an agenda, starts hurling tree-hugging wrenches in all of Steve’s gears. Riling up unrest with claims of deadly fracking on his clan’s farmstead, Dustin proves to be a worthy opponent in the public-sentiment arena, which (of course!) drives Steve to second-guess his Big Gas ethics. But that’s all he really does. Some residents can’t wait to rip off their hunk of liberating “fuck-you money”; others, rallied around wizened science teacher Frank (Hal Holbrook), shout down what Steve claims is the only way to save their houses. Like any polarizing scrap, an educated compromise skulks somewhere in the middle, but this screenplay hides instead of hunting for it. —Drew Lazor (Ritz East)
CONTINUING CIRQUE DU SOLEIL: WORLDS AWAY A haiku: French-Canadian clowns make a film about FrenchCanadian clowns. (Not reviewed) (UA Riverview)
THE GUILT TRIP|D Casting Seth Rogen as a neurotic inventor and Barbra Streisand as his nagging mother and sticking them in a tiny car for a road trip through the South sounds like a formula for fish-out-of-water comedy. The bickering duo pulls off the
The Hobbit is a 300-page children’s book, and the nearly three-hour Unexpected Journey covers only about its first hundred pages. The set pieces are thrillingly staged and the scenery gorgeous, as is to be expected, but the getting there feels endless and riddled with tangents. Worst of all, the 48-frames-per-second format robs Middle-earth of its magic. The you-arethere clarity is a constant reminder that these are actors romping around New Zealand in costumes wielding prop weapons. There are moments that hearken back to the best of the original trilogy, but for the most part it all feels like prologue. As what little story there is unfolds, it’s hard to believe that when the trilogy finally plays out, this entire film won’t seem largely unnecessary. —SB (Pearl, UA Grant, UA Riverview)
HYDE PARK ON HUDSON|D
THE IMPOSSIBLE|D Meticulously crafted and essentially obscene, J.A. Bayona’s quasi-docudrama follows a British family vacationing in Thailand in the immediate aftermath of the 2004 Indian Ocean tsunami. Bayona stages the impact, which pulls doctor Naomi Watts away from husband Ewan McGregor and their three sons, with deafening immediacy. It’s effectively nerve-jangling — especially for parents — but the film treats its story of survival like an amusement-park ride, sticking close to its protagonists and reducing the native Thai victims to background color. It’s a tremendous achievement, especially considering that the water effects were achieved without CGI, but it serves no purpose other than put-
A haiku: Uh, that’s slang for a handjob, right? As in: “Tom Cruise gives great Jack Reachers.” (Not reviewed) (Pearl, UA Main Street, UA Riverview)
LES MISÉRABLES|CDirector Tom Hooper seems hypnotized by the human voice; any time one of his actors opens their mouth to speak, he’s compelled to shove his camera close into their face and stare in immobile awe until they finish. The effect becomes numbing, especially given the musical’s nonstop singing, much of which begins to run together into an indistinguishable muddle for the uninitiated. In the rare moments without dialogue, Hooper’s fish-eye scans the grime-covered alleyways, a reminder that there is a world outside Hugh Jackman’s face. His rare stabs at actual production numbers, like the clumsy Richard Lester-isms of a comic piece featuring Sacha Baron Cohen and Helena Bonham Carter, suggest that artlessness may be preferable. —SB (UA Grant, UA Riverview) RUST AND BONE|B Fleeing a bad relationship in Belgium, Ali (Matthias Schoenaerts) crashes at the Antibes apartment of his mostly estranged sister Anna (Corinne Masiero). A bouncer gig at a local club puts him in front of Stéphanie (Marion Cotillard), a sullen killer-whale trainer who’s unhappy with her everyday. Looking to get back into the ring, trained kickboxer Ali begins taking on underground brawls, while Stéphanie, who’s grown attached to her friend’s tender,
THIS IS 40|BKinda-sorta spinning off Paul Rudd and Leslie Mann’s Knocked Up characters, Judd Apatow’s This Is 40 finds the couple approaching the big 4-0 with predictable if well-drawn anxieties. Their dream businesses range from marginal success to money pits, their daughters feud constantly and their sex life is dulled by overfamiliarity. Apatow is great with minor details, like the way Rudd keeps sneaking off to the crapper for some iPad time, or how Mann sneaks the occasional cigarette and hides the evidence from her kids. But the movie is a mess, sprawling and disorganized, with performances too emphatic to exist in such a nebulous world. —SA (Pearl, UA Grant, UA Riverview)
REPERTORY FILM AMBLER THEATER 108 E. Butler Ave., Ambler, 215-3457855, amblertheater.org. The Polar Express (2004, U.S., 100 min.): A young, skeptical boy boards a train to the North Pole and learns a valuable lesson about belief. You know, in case you’re in the mood for a holiday film four days after Christmas. Sat., Dec. 29, 10:30 a.m., $4.
[ movie shorts ]
com. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 (1986, U.S., 89 min.): Tobe Hooper stays on as director but takes a more satirical route in this followup to the 1974 horror classic. Wed., Jan. 2, 8 p.m., $3.
BRYN MAWR FILM INSTITUTE 824 W. Lancaster Ave., Bryn Mawr, 610-527-9898, brynmawrfilm.org. Winnie the Pooh (2011, U.S., 63 min.): Pooh and the gang set out to find Eeyore a new tail. Sat., Dec. 29, 11 a.m., $5.
COLONIAL THEATRE 227 Bridge St., Phoenixville, 610917-1228, thecolonialtheatre.com. Searching for Sugar Man (2012, Sweden, 86 min.): This doc follows two South Africans determined to find out what really happened to their musical hero, Rodriguez. Sun., Dec. 30, 2 p.m., $8.
COUNTY THEATER 20 E. State St., Doylestown, 215345-6789, countytheater.org. An American Tail (1986, U.S., 80 min.): A young Russian mouse named Fievel gets separated from his family while immigrating to America. Sat., Dec. 29, 10:30 a.m., $4.
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IN THEATERS JANUARY 4
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In order to call Hyde Park on Hudson one of the year’s worst movies, one must first stipulate that it is, in fact, a movie. Given that the film centers on
visiting king and queen of England. Hyde Park ends with a nostalgic nod to the days when public figures’ private lives were kept that way — an astonishing hypocrisy given that the film is devoted to exposing just that. —SA (Ritz at the Bourse)
JACK REACHER
sexual side, fights from the inside out. Schoenaerts and Cotillard turn in ingenious performances, with both characters’ emotional impenetrability made more stark by the paradisal French Riviera. Director Jacques Audiard lightly falters in his over-establishment of Cotillard as damaged, but it remains a beautiful movie with a beautiful message. —DL (Ritz Five)
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THE HOBBIT: AN UNEXPECTED JOURNEY|B-
ting viewers through the wringer and, eventually, making them feel better again. —SA (Ritz Five)
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the proposition of a sexual relationship between Franklin Roosevelt (Bill Murray) and his distant cousin Daisy Suckley (Laura Linney), that it is awful is no surprise. Although Olivia Williams graces a fine few scenes as Eleanor Roosevelt, Daisy is given the key role in soothing tensions with the
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road at a strip club, the Grand Canyon and the Vegas strip, but screenwriter Dan Fogelman is so intent on making the story family-friendly that the setting hardly matters. Nothing in the outside world matters in the vacuum created by this all-consuming mother’s love. That is, if there were room on its craters for near-constant product placement: Rogen’s cross-country trek is undertaken to pitch his cleaning product to companies like Kmart and QVC, while scanning every billboard along the way. It’s like watching an adaptation of the Sunday coupon supplements. —Shaun Brady (UA Grant, UA Riverview)
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LISTINGS@CITYPAPER.NET | DEC. 27 - JAN. 2
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[ the setup is hella cutesy ]
MAD AND MEAN: Icebird — RJD2 (left) and Aaron Livingston — plays the TLA on Sat., Dec. 29.
The Agenda is our selective guide to what’s going on in the city this week. For comprehensive event listings, visit citypaper.net/listings. D E C E M B E R 2 7 - J A N U A R Y 2 , 2 0 1 3 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T
Submit information by email (listings@citypaper.net) to Caroline Russock or enter it yourself at citypaper.net/submit-event with the following details: date, time, address of venue, telephone number and admission price. Incomplete submissions will not be considered, and listings information will not be accepted over the phone.
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IF YOU WANT TO BE LISTED:
at the Wells Fargo Center, played his first Roots Picnic and put on a wack live band show at Love Park with Hot 107.9FM. Now, on the eve of dropping his new self-released album, #RFM, the wiry MC with the scattershot rhythms and bold electronic backdrops is holding a pre-party at TLA just like Mill did for his breakout smash, Dreams & Nightmares, this summer. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. Call Rick Ross.
[ hip-hop ]
[ rock/pop ]
✚ CHILL MOODY
✚ MODERN INVENTORS
FRIDAY
12.28 Chill Moody’s career trajectory is starting to look like that of another local success story, Meek Mill. In the last year, the West Philly rapper has scored a spot in Power 99 FM’s Powerhouse showcase
—A.D. Amorosi Fri., Dec. 28, 10 p.m., $12-$16, with Jade Alston, Mic Stew, Mont Brown and Tayyib Ali, TLA, 334 South St., 215-625-3681, livenation.com.
You have to be pretty confident to hold an album release party a month before the album comes out. Who’s to say the audience will still remember how much they
like the words and melodies when it comes time to buy? Philly’s smart art-pop duo Modern Inventors, Josh Benus and Matt Kass, has both the confidence and the chops if Trains & Aeroplanes is any signifier. Just listen to “Hello,” a moody ode to tween angst inspired by American painter Eric Fischl. Or check out their cover of Paul McCartney’s early solo track “Every Night” — recorded at the urging of WXPN in honor of the Beatle’s 70th birthday — which had Sir Paul himself sending love and thanks. And, seriously, who but this duo could take a seemingly small and loving folk ballad (“Goodbye Northbrook Drive”) and turn it into an emotional tilt-a-whirl with a bridge more massive than the Walt Whitman? Nobody, that’s who. —A.D. Amorosi Fri., Dec. 28, 9:15 p.m., $10, with Hezekiah Jones and Sharktape, Johnny Brenda’s, 1201 N. Frankford Ave., 215-739-9684, johnnybrendas. com, moderninventorsmusic.com.
SATURDAY
12.29
fashion. Even more covert for RJD2 is We Are the Doorways, a murky recording made under the pseudonym The Insane Warrior. Keep your eye on the guy next to you at TLA on Saturday. Could be RJ. —A.D. Amorosi
[ hip-hop/electronic ]
✚ RJD2/ICEBIRD West Philly-based mad man DJ/composer Ramble John “RJ” Krohn hasn’t dropped an album under the RJD2 umbrella since 2010’s rocky The Colossus, but that doesn’t mean we haven’t heard from him. Using his own label, RJ’s Electrical Connections, the motherfucker reissued a box set of all his old material, titled 2002-2010. He’s also started up quirky indie-rockhop ensemble Icebird, working with Aaron Livingston from the local band The Mean. The pair recorded a wonky vocal-based album in 2011, Abandoned Lullaby, that is as dense as it is kind-of danceable in a white-guy-overbite
classic riff, the hip-shaking beat, and Camille Escobedo’s righteous, swaggering vocals (a little more Benatar than Courtney, maybe). Remember when people used to dance at rock shows?
Sat., Dec. 29, 8 p.m., $20-$35, TLA, 334 South St., 215-625-3681, livenation.com.
[ rock/pop ]
—Patrick Rapa Sat., Dec. 29, 9:15 p.m., $10, with The Original Sins and Weird Hot, Johnny Brenda’s, 1201 N. Frankford Ave., 215739-9684, johnnybrendas.com.
✚ BERETTA76
[ karaoke ]
If you’ve lost track of Beretta76 in the past few years, that’s understandable. After putting out the stellar and still-vital Black Beauty in 2006, the Philly garage rockers have been kinda streaky. A show here, a song there — always loud, lovely and raucous — but lots of dry spells and no new releases in all that time. That’s why it’s such a joy to hear “You’re Young,” the first peek at their long-awaited/still-not-quiteout EP. The song is everything we need from Beretta76: the
✚ ASIAN KARAOKE IDOL INVITATIONAL It’s time to break out the cat ears and Pocky: The Asian Karaoke Idol Invitational (TAKII) will soon be here. TAKII claims to be the “world’s most extreme Asian music/gaming fusion festival,” and judging by the anime plastered website, yeah, that sounds about right. Musical festivities include the TAKII Show, Say WTF Karaoke and the Makenai: Fusion Charity Benefit Concert, featuring past
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“ THE
BEST PICTURE OF THE YEAR .”
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-DAVID EDELSTEIN,
-LISA SCHWARZBAUM,
★★★★
“
Hang on tight.
You’re in for a hell of a ride.” -PETER TRAVERS,
INVITE YOU TO AN ADVANCE SCREENING For your chance to win tickets to an advance screening of the film, log on to WWW.CITYPAPER.NET/WIN ONE LUCKY WINNER WILL RECEIVE A COPY OF THE EA MEDAL OF HONOR WARFIGHTER GAME
COLUMBIA PICTURES PRESENTS A KATHRYN BIGELOW FILM “ Z ERO DARK THIRTY” JESSICA CHASTAIN JASON CLARKE JOEL EDGERTON EXECUTIVE MUSIC BY ALEXANDRE DESPLAT PRODUCERS COLIN WILSON TED SCHIPPER GREG SHAPIRO PRODUCED WRITTEN BY MARK BOAL KATHRYN BIGELOW MEGAN ELLISON BY MARK BOAL DIRECTED BY KATHRYN BIGELOW
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THIS FILM IS RATED R. Passes received through this promotion do not guarantee you a seat at the theatre. Seating is on a first come, first served basis, except for members of the reviewing press. Theatre is overbooked to ensure a full house. No admittance once screening has begun. All federal, state and local regulations apply. A recipient of tickets assumes any and all risks related to use of ticket, and accepts any restrictions required by ticket provider. Sony, all promo partners and their affiliates accept no responsibility or liability in connection with any loss or accident incurred in connection with use of a prize. Tickets cannot be exchanged, transferred or redeemed for cash, in whole or in part. We are not responsible, for any reason, winner is unable to use his/her ticket in whole or in part. Not responsible for lost, delayed or misdirected entries. All federal and local taxes are the responsibility of the winner. Void where prohibited by law. No purchase necessary. Participating sponsors, their employees and family members and their agencies are not eligible. NO PHONE CALLS!
OPENING IN PHILADELPHIA JANUARY 4 www.zerodarkthirty-movie.com
By Julia West
[ rock/pop ]
✚ THE HOLD STEADY
Anthony Thomas and Stephen Caldwell of KNO Clothing
³ BEST OF PHILLY STYLE 2012
Sat., Dec. 29, 8:30 p.m., $20-$22, with Swearin’, Union Transfer, 1026 Spring Garden St., 215-232-2100, utphilly.com.
[ hip-hop ]
✚ BLACK THOUGHT/ REEF THE LOST CAUZE For more than 15 years,
27
Have an upcoming shopping event? Give it here. E-mail listings@citypaper.net.
—Patrick Rapa
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We’ve given you best-of-year lists on everything from music to theater to food, but now it’s time to pay homage to the Philly fashion peeps who kept us looking good (and over budget) all year long. Best Craft Fair: Go West! Craft Fest In 2011, this modest affair began in West Philly’s quaint Cedar Park with a handful of vendors and live music. This year, it grew immensely, moving to the Woodlands in the spring and fall, and then heading indoors for a holiday bash at the Rotunda. Best Pop-Up Shop: Fair & Square There were two things about this all-too-brief Rittenhouse shop that made it memorable. First, the setup was hella cutesy, just girly enough and exploding with spring-fever-induced florals. Second is how it coincided with the opening of Rittenhouse Tavern, giving us the chance to shop and get our first peek at chef Nicholas Elmi’s cozy new digs. Best Shopping Event: Fashion’s Night Out Are we bummed that this jawn took four years to finally make it to Philly? Of course. Did we take to the streets anyway, staying out late to mingle and shop at Kembrel, SA VA and Joan Shepp? You bet your sweet ass we did. And we’ll do it again next year, Lord willing. Best New Addition to Old City: Never Too Spoiled We told you about them in our 2012 Gift Guide, and if you’re wise you took heed. No disrespect to its Old City neighbors, but Never Too Spoiled is one of the most welcoming, alluring and visually stunning shopping venues we’ve seen in a minute. Best Jewelry: Concrete Polish We’ve been crushing on owner Angela Monaco’s collection for a while now. We lust over the rough-cut metals and the precious woodland-creature rings, but here’s where she totally makes us wet: The girl knows how to have a sale. Whether it’s Black Friday, Groupon or the coveted NoLibs Holiday Shopping Spree, Monaco’s jewelry consistently works with our budget. Designers of the Year: KNO Clothing Co. This ain’t your typical clothing company. “To date we have provided over 1,500 brand-new articles of clothing to people in need,” says KNO co-founder Anthony Thomas. This is a company that gives 50 percent of its profits to help house and clothe the homeless. Thomas and co-founder/college chum Stephen Caldwell are working to give back to their community with sweet duds and sweeter ambitions. (julia.west@citypaper.net)
Almost a year ago, Hold Steady frontman Craig Finn put out a moody solo album that embraced a tinge of its dusty, cowboy origins in Austin, but otherwise fit nicely into his larger canon of pharma-spiritual pleas to the wayward. But the corresponding show at MilkBoy Philly tested patience with awkward caesuras and extended séance breakdowns. At some point we in the audience started to feel like enablers of Finn’s own wayward musical choices,
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Sat.-Sun., Dec. 29-30, 10 a.m.-10 p.m., $15, The Rotunda, 4041 Walnut St., takii.pdnmz.com.
though seeing him rock a small room again was no small thrill. Backed by the rest of the Hold Steady, Finn returns to Philly to play the much larger Union Transfer, and whatever we’ll lose in intimacy we’ll gain in overall rock glory. The band is road-testing some new songs on this tour, and advance peeks — on YouTube, with all the corresponding crappy sound and shaky iPhone cinematography — are encouraging. In particular, “Teeth Dream” (or “Teeth Dreams,” not sure) sounds like the kind of punchdrunk Springsteen stuff that made this band a force.
the agenda
—Nikki Black
[ the agenda ]
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shoppingspree
winners as guest performers. In addition to all the karaoke, expect plenty of gaming (and the chance to compete in a Capcom Showdown SmackDown), Otaku Jeopardy, Cosplay Battle Royale and vendors to satisfy all of your J-Pop merchandise needs. Sit back and enjoy the madness or jump in and perform yourself.
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Sat, Dec 29th, 10pm, FREE ‘RAUNCHY’ DJ PARTY Liz Lixx, Bud Bomb and Swingin Lord Tombeat, spinning Punk & Roll and Twang & Soul Mon, Dec 31st, FREE Join us New Year’s Eve Champagne toast at Midnight, Happy New Year! OPEN AT NOON ON NEW YEAR’S DAY
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UP THERAPY BAR
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OPEN EVERY DAY – 11 AM 1356 NORTH FRONT ST. 215-634-6430
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FRIDAY 12.28
MIGHTY#holiday w. DIRTY & DEL
GUN$ GARCIA/YOLO ONO
TANNER CALDWELL/WOOFERFACE
----------------------------------------MONDAY 12.31 NEW YEAR’S EVE
WITH DJ DEEJAY! TIX AT TICKETFLY.COM
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OPEN NEW YEAR’S DAY FOR BRUNCH 10AM - 3:45PM
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*GIFT CARDS AVAILABLE*
www.silkcityphilly.com 5th & Spring Garden
Philadelphia PA 19123 libertiesrestaurant.com Wednesday Quizo Night 8:00pm The Red Room Upstairs at Liberties Friday DJ’s Dev79 & Co. Saturday Matpat & DJ Bruce
NEW YEAR’S EVE NO COVER Facebook : The Red Room For Updates 215-238-0660
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FOR RESERVATIONS, PLEASE CALL 215.231.7300 *TAX & GRATUITY NOT INCLUDED
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LUST FOR LLOYD
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NEW YEARS EVE
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FACEBOOK: LLOYD WHISKEY BAR TWITTER/INSTAGRAM: @LLOYDWHISKEY
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NEW YEARS EVE
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NEW YEARS EVE
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f&d
foodanddrink
miseenplace By Caroline Russock
CHAMPAGNE WISHES ³ ALTHOUGH THERE’S NOTHING wrong with ringing in the New Year passing around a bottle of André at a raging house party, if you’re looking for something a little more upmarket, these places have your Dec. 31 needs covered. Alla Spina (1410 Mount Vernon St.) is forgoing Champagne in favor of $6 prosecco all night along with a few Champagne-inspired beers including Dock Street Bubbly Wit, an imperial wit brewed with Champagne yeast, and DeuS Brut de Flanders, the real Champagne of beers. As the countdown approaches, Vetri (1312 Spruce St.) is stepping up its tasting-menu options, kicking off the evening with a glass of Franciacorta and a selection of stuzzichini followed by a bespoke menu, wine pairings and a midnight Champagne toast. Down in South Philly chef George Sabatino of Stateside (1536 E. Passyunk Ave.) has put together a NYE menu that begins with caviar on brioche with lobster butter and moves on to baked Fire Island oysters and hangar steak with bone-marrow croquettes and black garlic. The dinner costs $65 per person. If biersteins and sausages do it for you more than Champagne flutes and caviar, then head over to Brauhaus Schmitz (718 South St.) for their New Year’s bash. A hundred bucks gets you four hours of topshelf open bar, plenty of great German drafts, plus an all-you-can-eat buffet heavy with chef Jeremy Nolan’s house-made wursts and charcuterie. Ela’s (627 S. Third St.) chef Jason Cichonski has created a one-night-only, five-course menu for this New Year’s Eve with all sorts of elegant items such as liquid foie gras with smoked pumpernickel, sour grapes and celery leaves; lobster cavatelli; and buckwheat-crusted beef cheeks. The shebang runs $85 a head or $120 with wines. If you’ve got another party to go to, Ela is offering an abbreviated tasting for $50 from 4 to 5:30 p.m. In Old City, Fork is going to be serving a best-of four-course house menu with the options of specialoccasion add-ons like caviar and foie gras. Thinking about spending NYE in AC? Jose Garces’ outpost of Amada at Revel is hosting three seatings for dinner at 6, 8 and 10:30 p.m. Each meal will feature cheeses and charcuterie followed by tapas and prepared-just-for-the-occasion items like wagyu carpaccio and mushroom fedua with shaved white truffles. What’s even more unique: Amada’s night-long live flamenco dancing on a custom-built stage. (caroline@citypaper.net)
TINY BUBBLES: Fork’s sparkler sees splashes of Cynar, Canton, verjus and celery water. NEAL SANTOS
[ year-ender ]
MAKING FAVES We’ve decided to forego a list of 2012’s best restaurants. Instead, our restaurant critic, Adam Erace, and our former food editor, Drew Lazor, offer their favorites in a few specific — and highly useful — categories. ³ ADAM ERACE
Rustic Recipes for a Year of Incredible Food (Houghton Mifflin Harcourt), which reads much like a vivid family memoir. Cheap Eats: Not only does the snappy Berks frank fit the smartly sized Cacia’s bun like an Armani suit, the $4 My Thai hot dog at Underdogs packs max flavor per penny. I could eat a bowl of the lacy green papaya slaw, a lo-fi take on som tum. ³ DREW LAZOR Meal: In May we brought a big group to Collingswood’s Zeppoli,
Meal: My most memorable meal of the year came from Modo Mio:
chicken-liver “caramello” with candied fennel, raisin-studded gnocchi, lightly breaded skate and — holy shit, have you had their mussels?! I know, I know, but their aggressively seasoned white sauce is so lemony and buttery, it’s the color of a daisy, an absolute depth charge of flavor you want to drink with a spoon. Restaurant: There aren’t enough good things to say about Vernick. But here’s a shot: More on: beef tartare, uni scrambled eggs, house-made mozzarella, wood-roasted dorado, Angela Ranalli desserts, seasonal sodas, the city’s best by-the-glass wine list, a bartender who asks for your vermouth preference ... should I go on? Cocktail: At Fork, new chef Eli Kulp’s food is matched by a quietly excellent cocktail program. Among the choices: an effervescent ballet featuring the cool, vegetal moves of Cynar and celery water entwined with candied Canton ginger liqueur, tart verjus and crisp sparkling wine. It has no name, and doesn’t need one. Cookbook: Me and cookbooks ain’t the best of friends, but I’ll give a nod to Ian Knauer’s lushly photographed The Farm:
citypaper.net
and I’m convinced there’s no restaurant of this ilk better than Joey Baldino’s. It’s genuine from top to bottom, and there aren’t many people who can focus flavors the way he does. Restaurant: Vernick was my favorite debut of 2012. Everything about it is exciting. It’s the first place that comes to mind when I’m asked to recommend somewhere “new” in town. Cocktail: Riddles in the Dark by The MORE FOOD AND Franklin’s Al Sotack is a Tolkien-referencDRINK COVERAGE ing tipple with teeth. All booze: rye, verAT C I T Y P A P E R . N E T / mouth, sherry, amaro, cherry liqueur, bittM E A LT I C K E T. ers. Those who like complaining about drink sizes should have this lil’ guy and try not to slur through round 2. Cookbook: An updated edition of Amy Besa and Romy Dorotan’s Memories of Philippine Kitchens (Stewart, Tabori and Chang) dropped this spring. It’s indispensable when I want to learn more about the dishes I grew up eating. Cheap Eats: The SPOT Burger from Josh Kim’s cart at 33rd and Arch. The OG — bacon, cheddar, slaw, pickles and super-secret SPOT sauce — is my favorite. (restaurants@citypaper.net)
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[ i love you, i hate you ] To place your FREE ad (100 word limit) ³ email lovehate@citypaper.net AUTOZONE GUY Hey Auto zone guy at Broad & Pike. You helped me change my headlights and gave me a smile. I don’t know if that was a like you smile or a your welcome. I think your name is John...I am not sure. But what I do know is that your tall, black, and thick. You look like sexy chocolate bar, I just want to take my time and unwrap your wrapper and eat you all up. I’ll come by and see you very soon. Can’t wait till later.
BIKE STRIPPER To the motherfucker that striped my bike on Grays Ferry. Fuck you and your poor ass family. Even if you are stealing my wheels and handlebars in order to buy your children Christmas gifts...fuck your family....they will end up being pieces of shit just like you. Also, you left some of the most accessible parts of the bike, which were as vaulable as the wheels, just sitting there! That puts things in perspective you fucking ignorant mooch. You don’t have the brain capacity to figure out what is worth stealing..the fact that you steal trivial shit from hard working people is a good as you will ever have it. I hope you get locked up and gang raped for stealing BIKE PARTS. You are a waste of calories and should be euthanized.....I am so tired of dumb fucks not contributing to the world in the slightest. Someone should curb your ass and chop your boys. YOU SUCK A LIFE!! Merry fucking Christmas fuckface!
We can’t be friends. I don’t care how many mutual friends we have. I don’t want to hang out with you at the El bar when you are there with your boyfriend, someone who you ruined my friendship with among many other things I enjoy such as said bar. When I look at you and hear you speak I don’t think about how much I still need you in my arms and how much I want to call you and talk all night and laugh together and make you things and go on adventures and make love at night and all those things that used to happen. I know you don’t give a shit about that but I will never think anything differently about you as I have already told you and now I have a girlfriend who is amazing and I love
never will be. I am so shocked that you so called family gives you such high praises and you don’t even deserve high praises. I wanna know what the fuck you do that is so fucking special. then you lie about answering the phone and saying that you didn’t hear the fucking phone. You heard that shit any other time when you are in my company you answer your phone so quickly because you can feel it vibrating so I know that you are lying. Do me a favor eat shit and die and then just roll over and play died like you are because as of now you are nothing to me. I know exactly what is going on but it makes it better for me to not help you with anything.
Don’t you think that you are alittle too old to be sitting there thinking that everyone wants to be your lover! News Flash: You are not attractive at all, then I hear that you jerk women around like they are your property or something. Nobody I mean nobody belongs to you at all. How dare you sit there and think of all the old things that I did in the past without reconizing what the fuck you are diong to me and my future. I hate you just because you are who you are, a lazy fucking no good piece of a wanna be man. You aren’t who you say you are, I rather not be around you if I don’t have to but now you and I have a kid so I guess I gotta do what I need to do.
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PRIORITIES
You stupid ass bitch you keep jumping from boyfriend to boyfriend what is up with that. The next time I see you don’t tell me that you have another boyfriend because I am afraid that I may say something nasty to you like you are a fake ass bitch, and you twatt probably smeills like lobster. nobody wants to hear about you sex issues nor your drug issues, oh yeah you didn’t think that I knew about that, yeah bitch I know about that. Then you walking around the city where it is 39 degrees with the smallest skirt on I seen in my life. You dumb bitch it is fucking cold outside. I hope you find what you are looking for because I think you are pathetic, grow the fuck up already....
I don’t know to make about you, every now and then I complain about you but you really need to get your priorties together. I don’t understand how you do the things that you do without any regard to my feelings. Moreless seems like you are spending all the money on purpose on dumb shit whereas I need the money and I know how to make it stretch. You seem like you want everything right then right there, but I don’t think that it is far at all. Just get your priorities together and we will get along alittle better I am tired of battling back and forth with you. I didn’t think that this was supposed to be like this, I think it is absolutely ridiculous.
FINALLY A GIFT
FOR SOME REASON I never wrote you one of these but now I need to explain something to you. Remember when I said I can’t talk to you right now? That is still the case.
Why can’t you leave me alone sometimes? No seriously I know that you are reading this you are a lonely stinking ass bitch. You make me so sick because I try to stay to myself, eat my lunch alone and do my work isn’t that what the fuck I am here for? Well if that is the fucking case why can’t you leave me alone. I don’t want to hear your mouth. I don’t want to smell you before you hit my area. And I dam sure don’t want to talk about my weekends that I don’t have to see you. Just know that I am so fucking happy when I don’t have to see your ugly ass! I hope you wash really well over the holidays because you know I don’t want to smell you and if I do I will probably snap on you and say something. Stay away already lonely ass.
MID-LIFE CRISIS
DUMB AND MISERABLE CUNT
You better of had something for me for this holiday. I am so fucking tired of you laziness and non giving ass. You know what if it wasn’t for me you probably would be in jail or something because of everything that I do for you. I am so fucking ready to like leave you it isn’t even funny. Then I would have to deal with you calling over and over begging me to come back it is fucking pathtetic. I wanted to see how the end of the year was going to go and it went and is going exactly the way that i knew that it would. You have nothing. I have what I need and being miserable is just you middle name. Find someone else to feel pitty for you. I will not pay your cell phone bill or any other bill that you might have. Bark up someone else’s tree!
LEAVE ME ALONE
THANK YOU
to be with and I can not be thinking about these things. In fact everything in my life is great except for you which is why I don’t want to think about you at all. I don’t know, prove me wrong. I really do wish I could talk to you but it just doesn’t make sense and this is the only way I can say this to you. Please leave me alone. And I want my polariod.
I KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON.... I saw you on the bus and you saw me...we got together and next thing you know we have a child. I wish that I didn’t have a child by you. I wish it was by someone else. You are nothing to me and
I STILL NEED YOU... We go through it each week and you are just always with me in my thoughts and I hate to spaz out on you but you do make me sick alot of times. I just want to say that I still need you but you have to work on some things I need your help sincerely. But, if you don’t want to do it because I snapped on you that is fine. But, just know that I am apologizing right now, alright. Does your big-head know that we supposed to be doing this together? I don’t understand your mantality or your way of thinking. We really do need to talk about some things.
When I saw your face appear in the window of my office, I said to myself that is Nateria at my office door, I said come in. You came in and sat down, and I was so happy that I had a opportunity to talk to you because I haven’t talked to you since you and mine birthday. It was good that someone actually cares to check on me and make sure I was fine. Nobody, I mean nobody that i know ever did anything like that for me, taking the time to make sure I was fine and pursued it like I just wanted to see if you were fine you said. That really meant alot to me and i wanted to say thank you for being a good friend. Us Scorpio’s must stick together.
✚ ADS ALSO APPEAR AT CITYPAPER.NET/lovehate. City Paper has the right to re-publish “I Love You, I Hate You”™ ads at the publisher’s discretion. This includes re-purposing the ads for online publication, or for any other ancillary publishing projects.
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â&#x20AC;&#x153;SPELLBOUNDâ&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x201D; IF IT SOUNDS GOOD, DO IT!
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P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R | D E C E M B E R 2 7 - J A N U A R Y 2 , 2 0 1 3 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T | 45
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food | the agenda | a&e | feature | the naked city classifieds
everything pets pets/livestock Please be aware Possession of exotic/wild animals may be restricted in some areas.
Siamese Kittens m/f applehead, purebred, Health Guar. $400 610-692-6408
American Bully pups, All blue. 4M & 4F, Killahcon on facebook 609-517-1178 Boxer puppies, AKC, fawn & white family raised, shots $600 (570)739-1517 Chihuahua/maltese mix pups, home raised shots $300.00 484-557-1391
merchandise market
Pitbull Pups -Reg, shots and wormed, M/F, ready to go, 215-834-1247 Pit Bull Terrier Blue Pitbulls $450.00 267.595.7984 or knicks33.kh@gmail.com Poodle Labradoodle Pups $450 Red, yellow, vet check, hlth cert. 717.629.6443 Poodles Toy, Ready for Christmas!! Call 267-650-8580 Rhodesian Ridgeback Pups 724-588-9507, 724-854-0366 Rottweiler ACA puppies, vet checked, up to date on shots and wormer, German blood lines, 10/7/12 birth, well socialized, Females $650. Males $775. Ben (717)989-8094, smucker.jr@gmail.com
Rottweiler Pups - AKC, s/w, vet chkd. Ready 12/23 $775. 717-413-5883
46 | P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R |
D E C E M B E R 2 7 - J A N U A R Y 2 , 2 0 1 3 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T
Shar Pei 2 female Puppies for sale $600 all shots, pure breed 215-802-9923 COCKAPOO PUPPIES - Shots and wormed, 8 weeks old, variety of colors, $350-$450. Call 717-786-8127 Cockapoo Pups, home raised, shots, vet checked, ready 12/20/12 (610)593-2915 ENGLISH BULLDOGS AKC, champ, blood lines, wrinkles +, health guar, vet check, shots/worm. 484-319-0571 ENGLISH BULL TERRIER PUPS - 13 wks, 2F, shots & papers. Call 215-518-0045 English Springer Spaniel AKC Pups. $600. L & W. 856-935-4649
German Shepherd AKC Pups- European bloodlines, shots, wormed,both parents are OFA hip certified: excellent. Black & Tan, $900 each 717-529-6213 German Shorthair Pointers AKC, ready 4 Xmas! (856)261-8922 aftr 3 Irish Setter pups, AKC, vet chkd, shots, parents our pets, $600+. (302)328-1720 Maltese/ Jack Russell fam raised. 12/24. $375. 717-445-7931
MALTESE PUPS - ACA reg., adorable, ready to go Dec. 23rd. $600.215.850.7167
TO HIS FAMILY, HE WORKS IN HR. TO HIS COMPANY, HE’S THE REASON THEY GREW FROM 4 EMPLOYEES TO 84 WITHOUT MISSING A BEAT.
BRAZILIAN FLOORING 3/4", beautiful, $2.75 sf (215) 365-5826 Diabetic Test Strips Needed pay up to $25/box. Most brands. 610-453-2525 Pinball machines, arcade games Perfect Holiday gifts. Many avail. 215.783.0823 TRAINS G Scale Pvt coll LGB/USA Trains steam & diesel. Call 215-450-5075
BD a Memory Foam Mattress/Bx spring & New Queen cost $1400, sell $299; King cost $1700 sell $399 610-952-0033 BED: New Queen Pillow Top Set $150. twin, full, king avail. Del avl 215-355-3878 Queen Pillow top matt set Cost $800. Sell $259; King $369. 215-752-0911 Sectional sofa micro fiber w/chaise lounge free ottomn $359. 215-752-0911
33 & 45 Records Absolute Higher $
Shih-poos, Shorkies, Yorki-poos Pups! M and F, $350-$600 (410)925-0414
***215-200-0902***
Shih Tzu Male / Female Puppies ACA registered, shots. 267-797-0579
Books -Trains -Magazines -Toys Dolls - Model Kits 610-639-0563
SHIH-TZU-POO CHRISTMAS PUPS FOR SALE! $600. 302-525-9767 (Phila. area)
Coins, Currency, Gold, Toys,
Yokie Pup, ACA M shots/wormed. $1,000. 610-203-0322 YORKIE PUPPIES : small, ready after holidays. Reserve yours now! 717-336-4398 garman@emypeople.net YORKIE PUPS - Male, vet checked with papers, available Jan. 15th. $550. Call 856-426-3206 Yorkshire Terrier, AKC, many champions in pedigree, small male, doll baby face, $1500. Call 215-355-5123
Generous Reward!
LOST DOG, small black & white Male Shih tzu near 71st & City Line. Owner grieving. 215-477-7813 Lost Dog! Large black and tan, male, Airedale terrier, near Bryn Mawr Ave. and Malin Rd. No collar. Reward 610-353-7136
Trains, Hummels, Sports Cards. Call the Local Higher Buyer, 7 Dys/Wk
Dr. Sonnheim, 856-981-3397
I Buy Anything Old...Except People! antiques-collectables, Al 215-698-0787 I Buy Guitars & All Musical Instruments-609-457-5501 Rob JUNK CARS WANTED We buy Junk Cars. Up to $300 215-888-8662 Lionel/Am Flyer/Trains/Hot Whls $$$$ Aurora TJet/AFX Toy Car 215-396-1903
jobs NANNY- for 3 girls - Atlantic City area, housekeeping, non-smokg home, Sun & Mon off, live-in exp. in US & 2 ref’s req.d, Call (856)287-4820
Get better matches to your job opportunities with unprecedented efficiency.
jobs Veterinary Technician BRYN MAWR
Veterinary Hospital is seeking an experienced Veterinary Technician. We are a busy small animal practice focused on excellent client relations and quality medicine. Competitive salary based upon experience. If you are a team player who is interested in a fast paced environment, please fax resume to: 610-527-3070
apartment marketplace 6581 Windsor Ave 1BR $575+utils 2nd floor, 1st, last & sec. 215-820-4288
25 South 60th St. 1 and 3BR $600-$700 All utils except electric, 215-765-9590 42xx Otter St 1br $525 +lg effic. $1575 to move in. Please call (267)402-8836
54th & Thompson 2 lg BR $600. h/d flrs, remod kit, lg deck 215-870-4475 54xx Market 3BR $725 Great loc. Call (215)471-0100 60th & Race 1br $550+utils newly renovated, (215) 747-8150
Digital Communications & Marketing Specialist Saint Joseph’s Preparatory School Philadelphia
St. Joseph’s Preparatory School, a Catholic, Jesuit, college preparatory school, serving nearly 1,000 young men, is seeking qualified applicants for the full-time position of Digital Communications & Marketing Specialist to work in the Development Office. For full job posting please visit www.sjprep.org
apartment marketplace
62nd & Market 2BR $600 2nd floor. Call (215) 820-3607 Parkside Area 1br- 6br $700-$1,600. Newly renov, new kitch. & bath, hdwd flrs, Section 8 OK. Call 267-324-3197
Apartment Homes $650-$925 www.perutoproperties.com 215.740.4900 City Line Area 2br Apts beautiful, Holiday Special, 215.681.1723
Balwynne Park 2BR $850+utils W/D, C/A, W/W. Call 215-219-6409
35xx N. 11th St Studio $440+utils newly remodeled. Call (215) 917-1091 Broad & Erie Ave. 2BR $340 every 2 weeks. $995 move in. Near transportation & shops. Call 215-498-9149
Center City 1-2BR $1250 2flr loft nr. Rittenhouse Sq. Heat and hot water inc. (610)642-2664
1,2, 3, 4 Bedroom FURNISHED APTS LAUNDRY-PARKING 215-223-7000
16XX N 17TH ST 1BR/1BA $570 & UTIL HEAT/HOT WATER INCLUDED, 267-9715703, TEMPLE UNIVERSITY AREA, $1710 TO MOVE IN, CONTACT MR. BROOKS@ 267-971-5703(C) 215-235-2235(H).
Temple Hosp area 1-2 br $560 water incl Broad & Allegheny. 215-336-4299
6522 Belmar St. SW 1BR $625 inc elec, gas, water. Nice reno, secure, 1st flr, hw flrs, fireplace, deck, appli, 814393-1872 splashndash04@yahoo.com
21st & Susqehanna 2br $650 hdwd floors. Call (267) 694-0591
45xx Old York Rd 1br $585+utils Large, 1st,last & security 215-791-2125 4900 N. 9th St. 2br $675+ elec. only. Move-in: $2025. (267)474-2743 Broad & Windrim 1BR Newly renov., must see. 215-885-1700
1 BR & 2 BR Apts $725-$835 spacious, great loc., upgraded, heat incl, PHA vouchers accepted 215-966-9371 Seymour & Greene 1br $560-$700 incl. heat & water. Call 610-287-9857
66xx Blakemore St. 1BR/1BA $650 13xx Sedgwick St. 2BR/1BA $850 Newly renov. Call 267-528-9275
1414 W. 71st Ave 1br $625 Utils incl. Close to trans & shopping. 215-574-2111 67xx Woolston Ave 1br $600+utils 2nd flr, $1200 move in, 215-758-7129
ALLEGHENY & ’F’ ST 2BR 1ST FLR $520+ utils. 267-312-7100
4630 Penn St. 1br & 2br $500 & $625 w/w, close to transp. Call 267-235-5952 Frankford Apt/Effic./Rooms, nr bus & El, $300 sec, $90 wk & up 215.526.1455
14xx Robbins Ave. 1BR effic. $575+utils 1st flr, all kitchen supplies, living room, bathroom. Call 215-954-9925 61xx Ditman 1 BR $650 incl water 2nd floor, clean. call 267-574-4163 91x Anchor St. 3br/1ba $950+utils, Fin. bsmt, gar., w/d. (267)975-6919 Academy & Grant 2br $790+ 2nd floor, wall-to-wall carpets, C/A, off street parking. Call 856-346-0747 BENSALEM 1br $800/mo. + utils. CA, W/D, avail now. 215-669-8688
Bridesburg / Torresdale 2br, 3br & 4br Newly renovated apts, $800-$1200 central air, wood flooring, garbage disposal, dishwasher, fridge, stackable washer/dryer. Call 215-399-6251 Bustleton & Grant nice 2br $890 prvt balcony w/garden view 215.943.0370 Mayfair 1BR $550 Parking, credit check, 215-498-1807 Red Lion / Verree Rd. Vic. 1BR, Duplex $690/mo. + utils. 215-808-8863
Clifton Heights beautiful 1 and 2 BR Holiday Special, 215-681-1723
YEADON Area Beautiful 1 and 2 BR Holiday Special 215-681-1723
Rosemont 138 Montrose . 2br $2050 C/A, large spacious contemp. townhouse, loft, 2.5bath, eat in kitchen, walking distance to Rosemont station. No pets Call (610)642-2664
6000 block of Wister St. Nice neat clean rooms with kitchen. Must See. $100 and up. Call 267-978-8826 Broad & Erie, furnished, kitchen, w/d, cable, wi-fi $100/wk NO DRUGS 215.228.6078 or 215.229.0556 Broad & Olney lg deluxe furn priv bath priv ent $145wk sec $200 215.572.8833 FRANKFORD / NORTHEAST , Newly renov, nicely furnished, A/C, W/D, cable, clean, safe & secure. Call (267) 253-7764 Germantown Area: NICE, Cozy Rooms Private entry, no drugs (267)988-5890
Germantown - Large furnished and unfurnished rooms, $100-$150, close to train and XH Bus. Call 215-514-8173
W. & N. Phila $85-$100/wk, no drugs/ pets, SSI ok $200 move-in 215-239-4061 W. Phila rm w/priv BA, $300 to move-in $150/wk. Call (267) 264-6725
homes for rent 15xx S. Napa 3BR/1BA $775 Sec 8 ok. Call 267-230-2600 1628 S. 18th St. 6 bedrooms 2 bath Hardwood floors, call (215)760-5230
62nd & Woodland 3BR House Sec 8 ok. Must See. 215-885-1700 63rd and Buist 2br $625 $1625 needed to move in. 484-857-7072
13xx N. Wanamaker St. 3BR/1BA $850 1st, last, 1mo. sec. req’d. 267-255-1895
980 N. 66th Street 3br/1.5ba $995 www.perutoproperties.com 215.740.4900
2xx Linton St. 3BR $900 9xx Granite St. 3BR $1000 Finished bsmt, garage, W/W carp, bkyrd, ceramic tile, new kitch. 267-879-1750
5TH & WYOMING 3BR new kitc, hw flrs, pch $825+ utls John K 215-264-5924
GERMANTOWN 2BR $700 1st/last & sec. sec 8 ok. 267.265.6943
E Mt Airy 2BR Row House $750+ 1st/last/security. Bus line. 610-405-5926
14xx E Weaver St. 3BR $1000 +utils quiet block,$3000 move in, 215-758-7129 East Oak Lane 3BR/1BA $875 1mo rent, 2mo sec. 267-303-7772
20xx Orthodox spacious 3BR/1.5BA renovated, Section 8 OK. 267-230-2600
40xx Ormond 3BR $875 5xx 56th Ave. 4BR $1000 Please Call Pan 267-287-3175
TACONY 2br/1.5ba $950 All appliances. Sec 8 OK. 267-337-3923
UPPER DARBY 3BR $900 enclosed porch, garage, 610.908.9330
Bridgeport W. 2nd St. 2, 3 BR Sec. 8 OK, House. 610-787-2790
resorts/rent LOCUST LAKE 3BR/2BA $400-$625 Chalet, sleeps 9, minutes to casino & ski resorts. Call 609-722-1264
Jeep Grand Cherokee 2005 $10,850 loaded, 1 owner, 68k. 215-237-0109 CHEVY SILVERADO 2500HD 2008 $22,500 White, 78,000 mi., 4x4 LTZ, gas, auto, leather interior, power, hitch. Call 609-354-2014 or email sjtr@comcast.net ALL CASH for JUNK CARS: $300 $3,000. Free towing. (302) 250-5096
Junk Cars & Trucks Wanted, $400, Call 856-365-2021
A1 PRICES FOR JUNK CARS FREE TOW ING , Call (215) 726-9053
low cost cars & trucks Buick Lesabre 1997 $1,995 New inspec., radials. Call 610-667-4829 Cadillac Coupe De Ville 1979 $4,500 Sapphire blue, sacrifice. 610.667.4829 Cadillac De Ville 2003 $3,675 Gold, low miles, chrome. 267-592-0448 Chevy Blazer 1996 $1750 4WD, loaded, runs new 215-620-9383 Chevy Impala LS 2002 $2,450 3.8, leather, roof, burg. 267-592-0448 Dodge Grand Caravan 1999 $1950 All pwrs, runs/looks new 215-620-9383 Ford Explorer XLT 1997 $1450 4WD, 116k, new insp 215.620.9383
Mazda MX3 1994 $1195 5spd, 38mpg, runs new, 215.620.9383 Volvo S70 Turbo 2000 $2,275 blue, roof, leather, 267-592-0448
AIRLINE CAREERS
Become an Aviation Maintenance Tech. FAA approved training. Financial aid if qualified-Housing available. Job placement assistance. CALL Aviation Institute of Maintenance 877-492-3059..
Automotive Marketplace
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CASH FOR CARS
ANY CAR/Truck. Running or Not! Top Dollar Paid. We Come to You! Call for Instant Offer. 1-888-420-3808 www. cash4car.com
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jobs
Business Services 20 ACRES FREE
Buy 40-Get 60 acres. $0 Down, $168/month. Money back guarantee. NO CREDIT CHECKS. Beautiful views. Roads/surveyed. Near El Paso, Texas. 1-800-843-7537. www.SunsetRanches.com ATTEND COLLEGE ONLINE
from Home. *Medical *Busin e s s * C r i m i n a l Ju s t i c e, Hospitality. Job placement assistance. Computer available. Financial Aid if qualified. SCHEV authorized. Call 800-481-9472. HYPERLINK http.// www.CenturaOnline. com. www/CenturaOnline. com EARN $500 A DAY
Airbrush & Media Makeup Artists For: Ads TV Film Fashion Train & Build Portfolio in 1 week Lower Tuition for 2012 AwardMakeupSchool.com REGULAR MASSAGE THERAPY
Special Price! $45/hr. Call
Help Wanted – General HELP WANTED
Pizza and Phone Person 215-928-9280 HELP WANTED
VACANCIES: History and Social Sciences (9-12), Special Education General Curriculum (5-8), Physical Science (8th Grade), Biology/Physics (9-12), Occupational Therapist-Prince Edward Schools, Farmville, VA-(434) 315-2100. www.pecps.k12.va.us Closing Date: Until filled. EOE HELP WANTED DRIVER
CRST offers the Best Lease Purchase Program! SIGN ON BONUS> No Down Payment or Credit Check. Great Pay. Class-A CDL required. Owner Operators Welcome! Call: 866-403-7044. HELP WANTED DRIVER
Driver-$0.03 enhanced quarterly bonus. Get paid for any
HELP WANTED DRIVER
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DRIVERS REGIONAL FLATBED. HOME Every Weekend, 40-45 CPM. Class A CDL Required. Flatbed Load Training Available. 1st Seat Sign On Bonus. 1-800-992-7863 ext. 160 www.mcelroytrucklines. com HELP WANTED DRIVER
Drivers-Pyle Transpor t (A Division of A. Duie Pyle) Needs Owner Operators, Sign-On Bonus if you start on or before Dec.19th! Regional Truckload Operations. HOME EVERY WEEKEND! O/O Average $1.84/Mile. Steady, Year-Round Work. Requires CDl-A, 2Yrs. Exp. Call Dan: 877-910-7711 www. DriverForPyle.com HELP WANTED DRIVER
Drivers: HIRING EXPERIENCED/INEXPERIENCED TANKER DRIVERS! Earn up to $.51/mile! New Fleet Volvo Tractors! 1 Year OTR Exp. ReqTanker Training Available. Call Today: 877-882-6537 www. OakleyTransport.com HELP WANTED DRIVER
Exp. Reefer Drivers: GREAT PAY/Freight lanes from Presque, Isle, ME, Boston-Lehigh, PA. 800-277-0212 or primeinc.com HELP WANTED DRIVER
Gordon Trucking, Inc. CDLA Drivers Needed! ...$1,500 SIGN ON BONUS...Refrigerated fleet & Great Miles! Pay Incentive * Benefits! Recruiters available 7 days/wk! EOE 866-554-7856. HELP WANTED!!
Make $1000 a week mailing brochures from home! FREE Supplies! Helping HomeWorkers since 2001! Genuine Opportunity! No experience required. Start immediately! www.mailing-usa.com $$$HELP WANTED$$$
Extra Income! Assembling CD cases from Home! No Experience Necessary! Call our Live Operator Now! 1-800-405-
rentals
Homes 2705 EARP STREET
Near Univ of Penn, Newly remodeled 2 bedroom home, Washer/Dryer, Fridge, New: Kitchen, Bath, Hardwood Floors. $895/month. Call Pete: 267-307-0371 SOUTH PHILADELPHIA
3rd and Porter. All new townhouse. HW flrs, granite kitchen, completely new, gorgeous, wonderful neighborhood, new appliances. $600/m. Call 215292-2176
Roommates ALL AREAS-ROOMATES. COM
Browse hundreds of online listings with photos and maps. Find your roommate with a click of the mouse! Visit: http:// www.Roommates.com. ROOM FOR RENT
Room For Rent W/TV, W/D, Full Use of Kitchen and Bathroom! $70 Wk and Up. Call 267-496-0065
Rental Wanted APARTMENT WANTED FOR MYSELF!
I am currently looking in Center City a one or two bedroom, efficiency or studio 1st floor Older male. Ask for Christian 267-5927181.
Vacation/ Seasonal Rental DOMINICAN REPUBLIC VILLA
Private Oceanfront 4 bedroom villa for rent in Cabarete, Dominican Republic. Owner lives in Philly. Call Frank: 215-7790520 www.villaflamingo.org
lulueightball By Emily Flake
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Mt. Pocono 11br Wknd Getaway, Your Group Only, Sleeps 22. Rent B4 u Buy! Call Owner 570-839-8060
market place
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Public Notices
Hyndai Tiburon 2000 $1,200/obo 150K miles, new paint. 267-803-9168
19th and Mifflin 2br/1ba $650 All new Townhouse, granite, hardwood, al l new appli, rent Call 215-292-2176
21XX MIFFLIN St. Beaut 3BR/1BA $875+ Full basement with washer and dryer hook up. Yard, Porch. Carpeted. Near public transportation and shopping. Water incl. $875 + Utilities. 2 mos sec + 1st month’s rent to move in. Please call: 215-279-1234 and leave message.
Acura TL 2006 asking $15,000 Beautiful. 36k miles, all power, new tires, clean, no problems, (610)649-0104 Chevy Impala SS 1995 $5800 Many extras! 215-473-3800 or e-mail jzackhill@gmail.com
P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R | D E C E M B E R 2 7 - J A N U A R Y 2 , 2 0 1 3 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T |
G-town Area, 1xx Hansberry St., furn, nice block, SS and Disability are welcome. $100-$125/wk 267-528-7012 N. & W Phila rooms, Single Occupancy, no smoking, $100/wk. 267-588-4289 Olney and N Phila. $75 and up furn, kit privs, coin-op, crpt. 516-527-0186 SW,N,W Movein Special! $90- $125/wk Clean furn rms SSI ok 215-220-8877 SW Philadelphia Room for rent. $250 share kit & bath. 267-251-2749 SW Phila. Medium & Small Rooms, clean, kitchen. 610-348-0121 or 215-863-0393 SW Phila room, $300 to move in, $100 week, clean, drug free, (267)414-7805
12xx S. Hanson St. 2br $525+utils $1575 to move-in. Call 610-876-0604
automotive
7619 Ext. 2450 http://www. easywork-greatpay.com
classifieds
1544 Church St $100-$125/week near transportation, $400-$500 move-in fee, call 610-291-4448 2435 W. Jefferson St. Rooms: $375/mo. Move in fee: $565. Call 215-913-8659 42xx Paul St. furn $120/week + 2 week deposit, 609-617-8639, 856-464-0933 4508 N. Broad St. Rooms: $375/mo. Move in fee: $565. Call 215-913-8659 49xx Arch St Lg Rooms $85-$125/wk w/Cable, remod Kitchen 215-870-4475
357 Gladstone St. 3BR/1BA $600 All new appliances All new townhouse, hardwood, granite, completely new, beautiful neighborhood, (215)292-2176
portion you qualify for: safety, production, MPG. CDL-A, 3 months current OTR experience.800-414-9569 www. driveknight.com
the naked city | feature | a&e | the agenda | food
apartment marketplace
(215)-873-4835. 1218 Chestnut St.
billboard [ C I T Y PA P E R ]
D E C E M B E R 2 7 - J A N U A RY 2 , 2 0 1 3 , 2 0 1 2 CALL 215-735-8444
Village Belle Restaurant and Bar
FREE DRINKING SMARTPHONE APP!!!
City Paper is very pleased to bring you our very first smartphone app! Just go to www.citypaper.net and click our martini glass icon to find out more, or type in â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Happy Hours in the app store, android marketplace, or blackberry app world. Click the orange martini icon and get drinking. No matter where you go or when you go, you can find the nearest happy hours to you with a single click! You can even sort through bars by preference or neighborhood.
Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s chilly outside, stop in to try our new winter beers Book your holiday parties now! Let us do all the Cooking and Cleaning. Gift Certificates Available 757 South Front St Corner of Fitzwater Street in Queens Village 215-551-2200 www.thevillagebelle.com
TEQUILA SUNRISE RECORDS
525 West Girard Ave VINYL AND CD SPECIALISTS CLASSIC & MODERN GLOBAL SOUNDS HOUSE TECHNO DUBSTEP DUB DISCO FUNK SOUL JAZZ DIY PUNK LSD ROCK AND LIGHT HARMONY ROOTS BLUES NOISE AVANT AND MORE TUESDAY-SUNDAY 12-6PM 01-215-965-9616
Guaranteed-quality, body-safe sexuality products, lubricants, male room, sex-ed classes, fetish gear, Aphrodite Gallery SEXPLORATORIUM 620 South 5th Street Free meter parking Saturdays thru 12/31 www.sexploratoriumstore.com
TOP PRICES PAID. No collection too small or large! We buy everything! Call Jon at 215-805-8001 or e-mail dingo15@hotmail.com
STUDY GUITAR W/ THE BEST David Joel Guitar Studio
LE BUS SANDWICHES AT THE EL BAR!?!?!
17 Rotating Drafts Close to 200 Bottles www.devilsdenphilly.com www.facebook.com/devilsdenphiladelphia www.twitter.com/devilsdenphilly
Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s true! Theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re here and delivered daily! 1356 North Front Street 215-634-6430
21st Amendment IPA Troegâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Mad Elf Kind Belgian Red Ale Leavenworth Altbier Arcadia Smoked Wheat Victory Midlands Stout Corner of 10th and Watkins in South Philly 215-339-0175
Sexual Intelligence
I BUY RECORDS, CDâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S, DVDâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S
All Styles All Levels. Former Berklee faculty member. Masters Degree with 27 yrs. teaching experience. 215.831.8640 www.myphillyguitarlessons.com
Whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s on tap at the Watkins Drinkery you ask?
FREE PIZZA! $2 BEER OF THE WEEK! $2 WELL DRINKS! ITâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S AMAZING! PASSYUNK AVE (7th & CARPENTER) 215-465-5505 myspace.com/thedivebar
12 Years of experience. Offering personal fitness training, nutrition counseling, and flexibility training. Specialize in osteoporosis, injuries, special needs. In home or at 12th Street Gym. MCKFitness@yahoo.com
WEEKDAYS 5-7PM
$2 OFF ALL DRAFTS $3 WELL DRINKS $5 HAPPY HOUR MENU Only at the Abbaye 637 N. 3rd Street (215) 627-6711 www.THEABBAYE.net
HAPPY HOUR AT THE DIVE
Building Blocks to Total Fitness
½ PRICED DRAFTS
HAPPY HOUR AT THE ABBAYE
Pizzeria DiMeoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s
Voted â&#x20AC;&#x153;Top 50 Pizzas in the Countryâ&#x20AC;? Ristorante Napoletano True wood-fired Neapolitan Pizza BYOB 8500 Henry Ave. (Andora Shopping Center) 215-621-6134 full menu at www.pizzeriadimeos.com
SEMEN DONORS NEEDED
Healthy, College Educated Men 1839 ~ $150/Sample WWW.123DONATE.COM
MAKE THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE GET A TATTOO!
PHILADELPHIA EDDIES 621 South 4th St. Tattoo Haven (MIDDLE of Tattoo Row) 215-922-7384 open 7 DAYS
7&3: (00% â&#x20AC;&#x153;..#&&3 -*45 )"4 (308/ 50 &1*$ 1301035*0/4 ,*5$)&/ )"4 "%%&% "/ &953" #&-- 8*5) 1&3)"14 5)& $*5:Âľ4 #&45 '3*5&4 40.& 45&--"3 #&&3 #"55&3&% '*4) "/% 7&3: (00% .644&-4Âł Craig LeBan, Philadelphia Inquirer, Revisited April 2007
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village belle WISHING YOU THE HAPPIEST OF THE HOLIDAY SEASON NEW YEARâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S EVE RESERVATIONS & HOLIDAY PARTIES AVAILABLE
DINNER
TUES-THURS 5-10, FRI-SAT 5-11,
LUNCH, SAT 11-4,
SUN BRUNCH 10:30-3:30
GIFT CERTIFICATES AVAILABLE MENTION THIS AD FOR A FREE GLASS OF WINE
757 south front street, at ďŹ tzwater 215-551-2200 www.thevillagebelle.com