Philadelphia City Paper, May 10th, 2012

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WE TRAVEL WITH YOU EVERY DAY SEPTA, DRPA, PATCO and NJ TRANSIT police are working together with federal, state and local security professionals to make your daily commute safe from crime and terrorism. For more information, please visit StayAlertNow.com.

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pre-registration at

manncenter.org is recommended.

made possible by:

3!4 -!9 s am-6pm

A free family, friends and fun Festival at the Mann This year’s Philadelphia on Parade will feature more than 800 performing artists on 5 electrifying stages highlighting the diversity of world music with a line-up that includes classical, gospel, spoken word, jazz, rhythm & blues, funk, and rock, global dance ensembles, dance workshops. Picnics Welcome

Bring Your Lawn Chairs

Crafts Marketplace

F E AT U R I N G s Black Pearl Chamber Orchestra s Rock School for Dance Education s Kulu Mele African Dance & Drum Ensemble s Pennsylvania Girlchoir s Philadelphia Sinfonia Orchestra s Sharon Katz & The Peace Train s Justin Faulkner Quartet s Universal African Stilt Walkers M A Y 1 0 - M A Y 1 6 , 2 0 1 2 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T

We made this

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RAIN DATE SUNDAY MAY 20

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ENTRANCE IS

s Kala JoJo “Tall Storyteller� s GAMP Concert Choir s GAMP 130-member Marching Band s Philadelphia Zoo on Wheels s Miss Amy’s Fitness Rock & Roll s Hope Smalley s Ella Gahnt “Tribute to Nina Simone� s Philadelphia Clef Club Youth Jazz Ensemble

s Play on Philly!

s Orrin Evans Trio

s Terry Jones & Helen Bruner

s Zen One Dance Collective

s Universal African Dance &

s T.C. III & Uptown Jazz

Drum Ensemble

Publisher Nancy Stuski Editor in Chief Theresa Everline Senior Editor Patrick Rapa News Editor Samantha Melamed Web Editor/Food Editor Drew Lazor Arts Editor/Copy Chief Emily Guendelsberger Associate Editor/Movies Editor Josh Middleton Senior Writer Isaiah Thompson Staff Writer Daniel Denvir Assistant Copy Editor Carolyn Wyman Contributors Sam Adams, A.D. Amorosi, Janet Anderson, Rodney Anonymous, Mary Armstrong, Nancy Armstrong, Meg Augustin, Justin Bauer, Shaun Brady, Bernard Brown, Peter Burwasser, Anthony Campisi, Ryan Carey, Jane Cassady, Mark Cofta, Felicia D’Ambrosio, Jesse Delaney, Adam Erace, M.J. Fine, David Anthony Fox, Cindy Fuchs, K. Ross Hoffman, Brian Howard, Deni Kasrel, Gary M. Kramer, Gair “Dev 79� Marking, Robert McCormick, Andrew Milner, Cassie Owens, Michael Pelusi, Nathaniel Popkin, Robin Rice, Lee Stabert, Andrew Thompson, Tom Tomorrow, Char Vandermeer, John Vettese, Bruce Walsh, Julia West, Brian Wilensky Editorial Interns Beth Boyle, Chris Brown, James Friel, Michael Gold, Katie Linton, Courtney Sexton, Alexandra Weiss, Nina Willbach Associate Web Editor/Staff Photographer Neal Santos Production Director Michael Polimeno Editorial Art Director Reseca Peskin Senior Designer Evan M. Lopez Editorial Designers Brenna Adams, Matt Egger Contributing Photographers Jessica Kourkounis, Mark Stehle Contributing Illustrators Ryan Casey, Don Haring Jr., Joel Kimmel, Cameron K. Lewis, Thomas Pitilli, Matthew Smith Human Resources Ron Scully (ext. 210) Office Manager/Sales Coordinator/Financial Coordinator Tricia Bradley (ext. 232) Circulation Director Mark Burkert (ext. 239) Senior Account Managers Nick Cavanaugh (ext. 260), Sharon MacWilliams (ext. 262), Stephan Sitzai (ext. 258) Account Managers Sara Carano (ext. 228), Chris Scartelli (ext. 215), Donald Snyder (ext. 213) Marketing/Online Coordinator Jennifer Francano (ext. 252) Office Coordinator/Adult Advertising Sales Alexis Pierce (ext. 234) Sales Intern Chelsee Lebowitz Founder & Editor Emeritus Bruce Schimmel

Collective

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&AIRMOUNT 0ARK s 0HILADELPHIA

Naked City ...................................................................................6 Arts & Entertainment.........................................................20 Movies.........................................................................................30 The Agenda ..............................................................................33

DolďŹ nger-McMahon Foundation

Food & Drink ...........................................................................41 COVER PHOTOGRAPH BY NEAL SANTOS DESIGN BY RESECA PESKIN

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the thebellcurve

city

CP’s Quality-o-Life-o-Meter

[ -4 ]

A national poll about favorite sports mascots chooses Mr. Met over the Phillie Phanatic. Aw, he’s just the sentimental vote. Everybody feels bad because the dude is dying from a hideous case of macrocephaly.And because his team always sucks.

[0]

After criticizing him throughout the primaries, former U.S. Sen. Rick Santorum endorses Mitt Romney for president. “Now who’s the flip-flopper?” exclaims Romney. “We both are!”

[ + 2 ] An eagle found wounded in a Broomall

parking lot has been rehabilitated and released back into the wild. “Thanks for everything,” says cornerback Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie, limping off into the woods.“I guess I’m supposed to walk home from here?”

[0]

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[ -1 ]

This year’s Philadelphia International Cycling Championship reduces the number of laps around the course from 10 to seven. Also, you’re allowed to walk your bike up the Manayunk Wall and everybody gets a ribbon for participating. You fucking pussies. A Virginia man arrested for threatening to kill the president also said he wanted to bomb several landmarks, including Philly’s City Hall. “The top doesn’t match the rest of it! It’s, like, three shades whiter! How are you guys OK with that? Am I crazy, or is that really annoying?”

[ -2 ]

More than 30 people are arrested for making and dealing meth in Montgomery County and Philadelphia. Creating 30 new jobs!

[ -7 ]

The Philadelphia Fraternal Order of Police considers ousting retired Capt. Raymond Lewis for wearing his uniform to Occupy protests. “You know, we coulda overlooked it if all he did was sell drugs, falsify arrest reports or drive his squad car drunk into an orphanage. But Lewis crossed a line when he decided to wear certain clothes to certain places.”

[ -2 ]

A new survey determines Philadelphia International to be the third-worst major airport in the country. And the other two are straight-up haunted.

This week’s total: -14 | Last week’s total: 1

TALES OUT OF SCHOOL: Rey Santiago lost his job at Olney Charter High School after the state enacted a lifetime ban on school-based work for people with certain felony convictions. JESSICA KOURKOUNIS

[ social justice ]

BARRED FOR LIFE A state law banning people with records from working in schools is sending shock waves through Philly neighborhoods, and enforcement has only begun. By Samantha Melamed

L

ast August, Rey Santiago was filled with hope as he began his new job, as a security guard at Olney Charter High School. Santiago, 41, performed so well that within months he learned he was in line for a promotion to a student-mentoring position. Then, on Dec. 23, the Juniata resident and more than a dozen other employees of the Aspira of Pennsylvania-run charter school were called into a room. Each was given a letter, told to read it and then to leave. Marcelo Lopez, 53, a six-year Aspira security guard, was there, too. “The letter said, due to Act 24, Section 111, of the School Code, a new law that they passed, that I’m hereby terminated and I’m not allowed to work in educational entities,” he recalls. Santiago, Lopez and the other employees had something in common: They all had felony convictions, some dating back 30 years to when they were teenagers. All had served their time, Lopez insists; none had committed a crime against children. Neither Lopez nor Santiago had been implicated in a crime in the past two decades. But a June amendment to the 1949 state law regulating public, private, parochial and vocational schools meant that all were ineligible to work in school settings. Previously, people convicted of felonies like aggravated assault and murder were prohibited from working

in schools for five years; now, they’re banned for life. People convicted of drug-related crimes are also subject to the ban, while lesser crimes now carry bans of five or 10 years for prospective employees. “They’ve given us a life sentence,” says Santiago, who adds that his only mistake was getting into the wrong car when he was a teenager. He served an 11-year stint and has been out of prison for a decade. “It’s sad that there’s a law that prevents people who are trying to start over and make a difference.” Since the law took effect last September, an unknown number of individuals across the state have been fired from jobs as security staff, custodians and bus drivers. Many others say they’re just waiting for the other shoe to drop. The shock waves have also reached contractors like Men in Motion in the Community (MIMIC), a West Kensington-based nonprofit that sends highly trained ex-offenders into schools to run workshops and mentoring programs. It’s estimated that one in five Philadelphians has some sort of criminal record. In communities where that ratio is far higher, the impact of Act 24 has already been significant. “I’m working in a community that has a large percentage of folks who have had some sort of record,” says Councilwoman Maria Quiñones-Sánchez, whose district runs through Kensington. “What has been concerning to me is the number of volunteer parents who have also now started to express a concern, because they have been asked to no longer come into school buildings if they have a record.” Sánchez and other Philadelphia legislators — who just last year

“They gave us a life sentence.”

>>> continued on page 8

the naked city

[ a million stories ]

✚ STATE OF DISCONTENT On Monday, busloads of people from Philadelphia and from towns and cities throughout the commonwealth descended on Harrisburg to take part in two separate protests against the policies of Gov. Tom Corbett and Republican legislators. One protest was for immigrant rights; the other was against the complete elimination of cash welfare assistance. Corbett is not a big fan of protests: Police once again took the (previously) unprecedented step of closing off access to the Capitol Rotunda to some demonstrators. Earlier this year, they allegedly singled out people in wheelchairs protesting cuts to disability services and barred them from taking the elevator to the governor’s office. Protest one: Immigrant-rights groups demonstrated against anti-immigrant legislation, much of it introduced by the very, very right-wing state Rep. Daryl Metcalfe (R-Butler). Proposals include denying undocumented immigrants public benefits, and, in a copycat of Arizona’s controversial law, requiring local police to enforce federal immigration laws. One Metcalfe bill would require employers to use the Department of Homeland Security’s E-Verify database to check workers’ Social Security numbers — an interesting call for the expansion of federal power coming from a politician with long-standing associations with the paranoid, militiaman-fringe right wing. Speaking of living on the edge: Corbett’s austerity budget proposes, along with 20 percent across-the-board social-services cuts, eliminating the $205-a-month General Assistance (GA) program that aids the most vulnerable — including 34,843 Philadelphians with disabilities, survivors of domestic violence, children being taken care of by non-parents and recovering drug addicts. That’s an

$87.5 million cut to Philly residents on GA, on top of $170.3 million in cuts to the related Medical Assistance program. As CP has reported, the elimination of GA could send thousands of addicts onto Philly streets. According to protest organizers PA Cares for All, the cuts would “increase demand for homeless shelters, emergency room services, fire and police — all at significantly greater cost to the commonwealth.” A third group — of conservative protesters — called for property taxes to be replaced by increased income and sales taxes. They may just be angry about their tax bills, but they underscore the same complaint being made by progressives. The state’s unequal funding of school districts, which requires municipalities rich and poor alike to try to make up the shortfall through property taxes, has been greatly exacerbated by Corbett’s $1 billion cut to education: An estimated 27 percent of districts have passed extraordinary property-tax increases to fund their schools. Some good news: State tax collections are up above predictions, and Senate Republicans have released a budget that would restore proposed cuts to higher education and partially restore cuts to basic education and social services. GA, however, remains cut. Welfare recipients, like immigrants, are made scapegoats for so many of our society’s problems. Monday’s protesters hoped to change that. They have another month or two to try. — Daniel Denvir

✚ HOME ECONOMICS Apparently, $14.3 million just ain’t what it used to be. Living off that paltry sum, the Philadelphia Sheriff’s Office hasn’t managed, four months into Sheriff Jewell Williams’ leadership, to establish a website capable of listing the sheriff’s sales from >>> continued on page 12

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EDDIE HALES

By Isaiah Thompson

ROOM FOR IMPROVEMENT ³ SOMEONE SITTING IN on City Council’s Rules Committee last Thursday might have had a sensation of déjà vu as the chamber filled with angry residents, come to rail against a proposed Neighborhood Improvement District (NID) — and met by a Council seemingly baffled by their opposition. The scene was not unlike what played out in another Rules Committee meeting last fall, when crowds showed up to protest a different NID, proposed by Councilman Frank DiCicco, that would have taxed residents of the Callowhill area. DiCicco came close to openly mocking those opposed. This time, 5th District Councilman and Council President Darrell Clarke, who has proposed a NID for the area around Temple University, did not mock. But he did appear similarly confused by the rebellion. After all, as Clarke pointed out, his NID would exempt owner-occupied residences. It would tax only rental-property owners — the developers, for example, of housing for Temple students, companies that residents accuse of being bad neighbors, employing shoddy practices and threatening to displace them. As residents listed the alleged infractions of these developers, a frustrated Clarke responded: “I agree with everything you said — I’m just trying to solve the problem!” As Clarke presents it, he’s trying to use the NID to collect revenue from the alleged problem developers and give it back to the neighborhood, Robin Hoodstyle. So, why wouldn’t residents support him? Council members seem to perceive a recurring problem of residents just not quite getting it when it comes to their beneficent legislation, but that’s not giving residents enough credit. In the contentious Callowhill NID hearings, Council members dismissed too quickly the legitimate concerns of residents — especially Asian-American residents — that they wouldn’t be represented by the NID’s controlling body. Temple-area residents share those concerns — not least because this NID was concocted by Clarke with developers including the influential Temple Area Property Association, whose members have given generously to Clarke’s campaigns. The purported Sheriffs of Nottingham are the main voices supporting the NID. Is that just more generosity? Of course not. Big Temple-area developers see the bill working to their advantage in one way or another. It may be a compromise — and it may be a fair one — but Clarke can’t be Robin Hood and Solomon at once. His constituents are smart enough to know that. ✚ Send feedback to isaiah.thompson@citypaper.net

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The Barnes Foundation

hallmonitor

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[ is not a big fan of protests ]

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✚ Barred For Life

[ the naked city ]

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enacted a “Ban the Box” law forbidding a criminalrecord check before an initial job interview — are on the front lines of a raging war against recidivism, which is exacerbated when opportunities are denied to people with records. But on the state level, it looks good to be tough on crime; standing up for ex-cons isn’t a popular battle. “We found out how many politicians don’t want to be associated with any issue dealing with the previously incarcerated,” says Bill McKinney, an anti-violence activist and chairman of the board at MIMIC. In fact, some describe Act 24 as just the latest of several attempts, some successful, to prevent former convicts from working in nursing homes, in day-care settings and as security officers. Getting ex-offenders out of school posts had been a priority in Harrisburg for years, according to Janet Ginzberg, an employment attorney at Community Legal Services of Philadelphia (CLS). “Act 24 was a big shock to us,” she says. “Somebody introduces this legislation every single year. It got to the point I have a position paper on my computer and would just change the bill number and send it in. This year, they got it in the back way: They attached it to the education omnibus bill and got it through before anyone even knew what happened.” That includes local lawmakers — though most Philly Dems, Sen. Anthony Williams excepted, gave the omnibus bill a “no” vote anyway. “Legislators don’t always read carefully what’s put in front of them,” Ginzberg points out. Some Philly-based state lawmakers, when contacted recently, still weren’t aware of how the law is now playing out across their local districts. The city, however, is keenly aware of how devastating the law could be, according to Rue Landau, executive director of the Philadelphia Commission on Human Relations, who showed up at a recent meeting organized by MIMIC. “The School District of Philadelphia is taking a very slow response to this. They don’t want to get rid of everyone with records,” she said. Some private and charter school providers are being more compliant. Lopez, the guard who lost his job with Aspira, says the company had long been aware of his conviction on a 20-year-old murder charge, but had been satisfied with his performance. Now, despite his hard work, Lopez feels like he’s paying for his crime all over again: “I feel that everywhere I go, it’s going to continue to be held over my head. They say they don’t discriminate, but there’s ways of doing it.” Indeed, civil-rights advocates say lifetime bans like the one contained in Act 24 add up to unconstitutional discrimination, given that they disproportionately impact African-American and Latino males. The Pennsylvania State Education Association is bankrolling several court cases challenging the firing of ex-offenders from schools elsewhere in the state. And CLS is hoping to assemble its own legal challenge, bolstered by new policy guidelines released by the federal Equal Employment Opportunity Commission. But that’s no guarantee of justice. Seven years ago,

CLS fought a similar lifetime ban on working in elder-care facilities and won — but today, because of the way the court’s decision was rendered, the law is still on the books. Meanwhile, MIMIC and an interfaith coalition being organized by the Rev. Adan Mairena of West Kensington Ministry are beginning a lobbying effort. But that could be a long road, and the impact on local organizations has been immediate. McKinney says the bottom fell out of several of MIMIC’s contract negotiations right after the law passed, as schools concerned about their legal exposure decided not to risk it. The group’s other school-based contracts “could be pulled at any moment.” The organization is scrambling to assemble grant funding to replace school-contract fees and continue work at rec centers and

“Legislators don’t always read bills.” for local nonprofits; McKinney says giving up on Philly’s highrisk youth is not an option. Elvis Rosado, a violence-prevention specialist with the local nonprofit CADEkids, feels the same way. After being released from prison on a drug conviction in 1992, he volunteered full-time for a year and a half at a nonprofit before landing his first job. Now, he’s afraid his days helping kids turn their lives around could be numbered. “I haven’t gotten into anything in 20 years,” he notes. “I don’t smoke. I don’t drink. But you might as well put an ‘F’ on my forehead for felon. The system looks at me and says, ‘You’re still worthless, man.’” Worse, Rosado worries that laws like Act 24 will make it impossible for others to do what he did — to find work, and to turn their lives around. “You get 20 doors that shut,” he says, “and you get 20 offers to come back to the corner.” (samantha@citypaper.net)

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SACRED GROUND: The St. Boniface Church site is the center of a dispute about development in Norris Square. NEAL SANTOS

[ neighborhoods ]

CONTINGENCY PLANNING A councilwoman and a community activist skirmish over zoning. By Samantha Melamed

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t an April meeting in Norris Square, 7th District City Councilwoman Maria Quiñones-Sánchez and a few buttoned-up city planners stood at the front of the room for what seemed to be a run-of-the-mill discussion about an arcane zoning matter. Soon, though, the meeting turned volatile. There was shouting. A man was removed in handcuffs. Accusations were lodged against Sánchez, who launched a few right back. It was the boiling point of a face-off that had been brewing behind the scenes for years between Sánchez and Pat DeCarlo, the executive director of the Norris Square Civic Association (NSCA) and, by most accounts, the central figure in the narrative of Norris Square. What brought the feud out into the open was a debate over NSCA’s nearly $10 million redevelopment of the St. Boniface Church complex at Diamond and Mascher streets. DeCarlo envisions a neighborhood anchor: a day-care center, a school, a community center and 15 units of co-op housing. Sánchez believes the plan is flawed and that it should be properly vetted by the community, and has intervened with a bureaucratic hurdle: a proposed remapping of zoning in the area. The councilwoman had initially insisted the zoning change — converting neighborhood properties from R10 (multifamily dwellings) to R10A (single-family only) — stemmed from a desire to curb development pressures. But she’s since acknowledged to City Paper that her need to have “a bigger say” in the St. Boniface development was a motivator. The remapping could potentially send the project through a community review process for a zoning variance. “My job is accountability,” Sánchez says. “I would not have wanted to have this kind of public debate about their utilization of [taxpayer] resources and their capacity, but it comes with the territory.” She says there’s no one else who can really speak out in the neighborhood, given that NSCA holds the Neighborhood Advisory Council (NAC) contract for the area, is the area’s chief developer and also serves as its civic association handling zoning matters. (The NSCA doesn’t have published zoning bylaws, and doesn’t leave zoning up to a community vote; decisions are made by a zoning committee

appointed by NSCA’s NAC committee.) Crossing DeCarlo — possibly the most powerful force in the neighborhood — is no simple matter, according to Victor Negron, a committeeman in the area and an NSCA member. Residents and businesspeople don’t want to speak out against Sánchez either, so they’re caught in the middle. “There is this sense of intimidation,” says Negron. People, he explains, “are worried about talking. They fear retribution, like their lives are going to be made horrible if they say anything against Norris Square Civic or if they say anything against the councilwoman. It’s just this fear.” Evidently, Sánchez was intimidated, too — for years. She knows it looks suspicious to speak out on a project that is, in fact, across the street from her house. That appearance of a conflict was what “stopped me from acting sooner. I wish I had acted sooner.” (As expected, NSCA has pointed out the proximity repeatedly.) Still, she’s been trying to have her say at St. Boniface for a long time, ever since DeCarlo first won a $5 million federal Neighborhood Stabilization Program (NSP2) grant, and later secured $5 million in matching state Redevelopment Assistance Capital Program funds. Sánchez supports the day care, school and community center, but has her own vision for how the residential component could be deployed. She says there are 1,700 vacant city-owned properties in the NSCA area that could be rehabbed. “It’s about the overutilization of funding in one spot when the impact could be broader,” she explains. “The fact of the matter is they could do 30 or 40 units that are vacant in their footprint and really leverage that money in addition to providing more local jobs.” The timing is terrible, as even Sánchez admits. NSCA director of real estate development Maria Camoratto says the turmoil has put them in danger of losing their funding, as NSP2 grant administrators watch warily. The grant, if unused by February, expires.

“There’s a sense of intimidation.”

But critics say Sánchez is right to question the development, even at this late hour. For one thing, residents complain that NSCA’s own properties have had plenty of problems — vacant land left uncared for, damaged rental units left unrepaired. “It’s a mess. Neighbors complain all the time,” says Negron of the poorly maintained NSCA properties near his home on the 2100 block of North Hancock Street. DeCarlo told CP she hadn’t been made aware of any complaints until Sánchez brought them up. Iris Lopez, a community activist and former NSCA board member, finds that hard to believe, saying NSCA’s 21-unit Los Balcones development is practically infamous. “The whole neighborhood knows that the [NSCA] tenants complain all the time,” she says. She describes leaks that have gone unrepaired for years, a problem with a roof that took seven years to fix. “How is that creating community? If you’re not taking care of it, you might as well be a slumlord.” The NSCA owns dozens of properties in the area, and has a reputation for sitting on some of them, allowing them to drag down blocks while accruing value — kind of like what a speculator might do. Negron says his neighbors’ group had to get L&I to demolish an NSCA property on Hope Street, after NSCA refused to seal or maintain it. DeCarlo says NSCA’s reputation on vacant land is unfair, that people confuse it with other neighborhood groups. She presented CP with a usage plan for each of the 20 vacant lots and buildings NSCA owns. She says everything she’s done has been at the request of the community. But she also has her own vision for the neighborhood — and it doesn’t involve gentrification. Negron and Sánchez say the singularity of that vision results in a lack of transparency, and that petitions and surveys are done by picking and choosing participants, disenfranchising those who disagree or manipulating the answers. Outside the meeting with Sánchez, NSCA was distributing fliers that seem to support that thesis. They inaccurately claimed the zoning change would make it illegal for people to rent space to their relatives, tearing families apart. “It’s about the manipulation of folks, versus the education of folks,” Negron says. NSCA may be confident in their neighborhood support — but they still rushed to obtain their zoning permit ahead of the proposed remapping, thereby possibly avoiding the community zoning process. Now, whether Sánchez will be able to push the remapping through — or to kill that zoning permit — may show where the power really lies. (samantha@citypaper.net)

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DO FUNNEL CAKE. DO FAMOUS CHEFS. DO 4 AM WAFFLES.

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feedback

[ the naked city ]

From our readers

CLASS CONSCIOUS Numerous readers responded to our cover story regarding the proposed reorganization and “charterization” of the public schools [“Who’s Killing Philly Public Schools?,” Daniel Denvir, May 3, 2012]. At citypaper.net, commenter brinsley wrote, “Thank you for an excellent and well-researched article. It is important that Philadelphians understand the context in which this ‘plan’ is being proposed. The fight against this bargain-basement sale of our schools has just begun.” Online commenter j$ noted, “The same strategy is being used on the post office: cut cut cut, then point the finger that it’s a failing system and suggest privatization as the ONLY alternative.” And commenter sabelotodo wrote: “As a retired teacher from the SDP, I must commend you on a superb article. This really explains how the politicos are sucking the money/resources out of the district and redistributing it to their friends/allies.” Chris Randolph sent an email that said, in part: “Democrats will always take union money, votes and volunteer time and stab organized labor, teachers in this case, in the back. … Philadelphians re-elect any connected clown with a ‘D’ after their name to shove the most repulsive corporate voodoo economics and austerity assaults down our collective gullet. Shredding the social contract by ending the notion of bothering to have a public school system is the inevitable outcome of generations of Philadelphians not having the will or the intelligence to support independent progressive politics. Now more than ever people need to support the Green Party of Philadelphia, Philly Socialists and/or any individualist who runs against our

suicidal political machine.” Online commenter samac noted:“If Philly pols really cared about funding schools, they would collect the $470 MILLION in unpaid property taxes and send tax delinquents’ properties to auction. But complaining about Harrisburg and the rightwing straw men is easier than taking any responsibility or action. So you shortchange schools to protect deadbeats.” Online commenter bartfr disputed the story’s point about the district’s insufficient funding: “There is no evidence that throwing more money at the schools or the families will produce any positive change. My suggestion? Take a fresh look at whether we are addressing the correct problems.Consider issues such as family values, absentee fathers, unwed pregnancies, entitlements and the ‘message’ being offered to the African-American community by their very own leaders.” ✚ We welcome and encourage your feedback. Mail letters to Feedback, City Paper, 123 Chestnut St., third floor, Phila., PA 19106. E-mail editorial@citypaper.net or comment online at citypaper.net. Submissions may be edited for clarity and space.

✚ a million stories

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He asked for more money — a whopping $3.5 million. which the department ultimately derives some of its budget. The office claims no responsibility for phillysheriff.com, its former online presence, which was infamously designed by Reach Communications, a company founded by a brother of an employee of the office. A request for proposals has, according to spokesman Joseph Blake, been issued. Advice to would-be bidders: Bid less than $14.3 million. Or don’t. Despite, or perhaps because of, the various performance deficits of his office, Williams asked City Council in a recent budget hearing for more money — a whopping $3.5 million. To put that into perspective: In the mayor’s proposed 2012 budget, the city’s homeless shelter system, after years of dire cuts that forced shelters to drop basic services like case management, would get only an extra $1 million this year — and that’s in the face of millions of dollars of cuts by the state. Among the anticipated expenses mentioned by Williams to justify such a bold request: a new computer system ($500,000), an outside financial audit ($300,000) and 30 new deputies and civilian employees. Those could be useful since — despite

the various scandals that have engulfed the Sheriff’s Office — Williams has also been offering up the (rather vague) idea since taking office of assuming increased “law enforcement” duties. The sheriff did not mention to Council his earlier request for a $38,000 SUV, as reported by the Daily News in February. Sensing, perhaps, that other bold new initiatives must be close on the heels of such an enormous monetary request, Councilwoman Maria QuiñonesSánchez asked about an issue close to her constituents: education around foreclosures, which the sheriff is tasked with carrying out. Sánchez asked what the sheriff’s strategy is for helping residents prevent a foreclosure. “We refer them to our staff

who could give them information,” Williams replied, “on how not to lose their house.” It wasn’t exactly, the tone of Sánchez’s further questions seemed to suggest, a $3.5 million answer. —Isaiah Thompson

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By Cassie Owens

Meet Peanut ,

the raunchy North Philly gangsta puppet with a secret.

I

meet Peanut outside a corner store on Frankford Avenue, the impromptu set of his latest video adventure. He’s wearing his Jordans and carrying his matching Gucci bag and wallet — a puppet ready for his close-up. He greets me with that disarming falsetto, the one he uses to curse out rivals and hit on chicks on YouTube. Also present are K.P. and RStar, two key (human) players in Peanut’s adventures; cameraman and editor Data; and Mohammed Shariff, Peanut’s lawyer. Both Peanut and Shariff make it clear that the interview will be with the puppet, and not the man behind him. The man behind him isn’t giving interviews. A school bus approaches. In full Peanut-mania, the kids rush the windows, shout-

like that, you have to laugh.”

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The season one finale hit YouTube in late April. Peanut has one or two more videos and maybe a few snippets to drop, but that’ll be it for a while. “I caught a case in ’10 and it’s catching up to me now,” the puppet says. “And I’ll probably have to sit for a couple months. I just want my fans to stick with me through this.” He can’t say when he’s going in, or for how long. “We’ll just have to wait and see.” All levity evaporates from the conversation — no small feat when talking to a puppet. “I just want to bring love back to every community where people stressed out every day and they’re looking for another way. And if they don’t have money, they can watch, get laughs,” says Peanut. Right on cue, Peanut breaks the serious tone with a few jabs at my redundant, reporterly questions. I can’t help but laugh. This is what Peanut does: He makes fun of people. But really, he makes jokes for people who need them. The way he sees it, this is a city that’s had its knocks. Peanut knows that Philadelphians need something to laugh about.

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have heard stories of men pretending to be Peanut to seduce girls, apparently with some success. Such is the adoration people have for this puppet. His fans tweet him tribute drawings and photos of Peanutthemed cakes. So far, at least two people have gotten tattoos of his face, and a third has tattooed his catchphrase “skitfuckindaddle.” Several DJs have produced party mixes looping Peanut’s sayings. R&B songstress Marsha Ambrosius and World Junior Welterweight champion Danny “Swift” Garcia have both guest-starred in videos, and rumor has it that more celeb collabs are in the works. Peanut is staying tight-lipped on that — no small feat for a puppet. The webisodes haven’t been without critics. In the comments of episode 16, one YouTube viewer wrote, “I know shes [sic] got a nice ass and all, but this is really creepy.” Another called it “disgusting.” However, even with the criticism, the negative comments seem to be the outliers. There are scores more comments expressing laughter, utter disbelief or both. Peanut insists that his message is positive: “Every show is a lesson, is a lesson to be learned. Even if I just show up on the corner, and I pull the girl in the car, and I’m hittin’ her in the back of car — there’s a lesson in that. Do you want to be that girl? Are you not going to be that girl? You seeing it go down, so what side are you on?” I ask him if the episodes showing the drug game are included in that. “Yes, all that. Everything to better the community.”

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“We bring together people of different nationalities, different groups of people who wouldn’t necessarily be together,” says Data. He might be on to something. After all, two days after hanging with Peanut, I went to my best friend’s birthday dinner. The younger contingent started talking Peanut videos, and my best

.

“Some of the stuff is kind of messed up, but that’s kind of how parts of Philly are.” “Some of the stuff is kind of messed up, but that’s kind of how parts of Philly are,” says merchandising consultant Tim Nesmith, who met Peanut when his company, PhillyScreen, began producing the puppet’s catchphrasebearing T-shirts. “He’s making fun of what’s wrong with society, and people really catch it.” Peanut’s satire hides in plain sight. Way more vulgar than The Simpsons, and too true-to-life to compare with Animal Farm, Peanut’s videos depict extreme but undeniably commonplace occurrences. Says Nesmith: “It’s people in Philadelphia that act like Peanut. And even when you come in contact with people who act

friend’s mother looked up and said, “Peanut? What does he say? Oh yeah! Skitdaddle!” My best friend could not have be prouder that his mother, a Jewish woman in her 60s, proved to be already in the know. “Peanut has 26 episodes,” she added. Back in March, when the crew filmed episode 23, a throng of about 60 people gathered to watch. This installment included a fairly grisly fight scene, and based on the crowd, the cops assumed it was real. Five squad cars approached, but when the police realized it was Peanut, they dropped it immediately. “[The cop] looks around, he seen me, he’s like, ‘When that little motherfucker done, tell him to skitfuckindaddle.’ And he walked to his car,” Peanut recalls. Data notes that this wasn’t the only time the cops have been cooperative. “I know from shooting music videos that it’s not always like that,” Data says regarding the goodwill. “It’s about Peanut.” (editorial@citypaper.net)

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ing his name in adulation. Peanut shows the kids some love, waving back, responding warmly. I wonder why the bus hasn’t pulled off yet, then I notice that the driver is also trying to snap a photo. She’s a fan, too. Peanut’s crew laughs at the scene, joking that the kids probably shouldn’t even be watching. Peanut may be a puppet, but he’s not Elmo. Peanut is from North Philly — down around 33rd, he says. He hangs out on South Street. He shops at City Blue. He argues with crackheads, gets fellated by women he’s known for only minutes and robs other hustlers with his beloved puppet-sized .38. In one video, he slaps a Muslim street salesman for spraying too many unwanted perfume samples. In another, he pistol-whips a rival puppet named Pistachio for hitting on his girl and attempting to steal his shine. “I know it sounds cruel, but [Peanut’s] the average lowlife, and he’s somebody that everybody who lives in the hood may know,” Brandon Wyche of HipHopSince1987.com says. Wyche was one of the first bloggers to post Peanut’s videos. “That’s what I think makes Peanut so funny,” he says. “Seeing Peanut, and him being so close to home, and him using Philly terms makes it unique, and everyone can relate to it.” HOT 107.9 radio personality QDeezy first discovered Peanut through Wyche’s blog. He was instantly a fan. “You kind of get away with things when it’s animated or a puppet,” he figures. “It’s brilliant. … Some of the content is a little vulgar, but it’s entertaining, to say the least.” “When I came home from jail, my friend said I was a clown,” the puppet says. “Yamean, I was just running around, acting a fool. And they was, like, ‘What if you just run around with a camera all day?’” The resulting two-dozen-plus episodes chronicling Peanut’s doings are completely improvised. The co-stars, all native Philadelphians, generally play themselves. After filming, Peanut goes over the footage with friends and editors Data and Skeem. “When the videos get edited and all that, we don’t put in the color correction. It’s live,” Peanut says. “I think it’s just showing Philly. The good and the bad of Philly.” Peanut is proud that his videos have spread through the power of word of mouth. Being regularly featured on HipHopSince1987.com and WorldStarHipHop.com couldn’t have hurt. “Number 10 was the one that made it pop,” Peanut explains, “when I smacked the bol with the burner, the skitdaddle. But number 16 is the one that got the buzz.” He’s talking about the episode titled “Peanut Gets Laid Down North Philly,” wherein our hero meets a girl at Taco Bell/KFC, ignores that K.P. has declared her as one of his “personals,” and ultimately beds her at RStar’s place. At press time, episode 16 was nearing 1 million views. Peanut’s Peanut Live 215 channel was nearing 8 million total. Since the man behind Peanut holds fast to his anonymity, the puppet has had imposters. Data, a music-video director by trade, once bumped into a guy at the Gallery who claimed to be Peanut’s creator. The guy had no idea that Data worked with the real deal. Peanut’s friends

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icepack By A.D. Amorosi

³ AS THE PUBLIC opening of the sleek stone

and steely Barnes Foundation on the Benjamin Franklin Parkway trips nearer, I’m reminded of one of the post-contracting-retirement jobs my dad held to stave off housebound boredom: guarding the pleasant, original home to Dr. Barnes’ quirky bountiful collection in Merion. I visited my dad at the old Barnes often, and we spoke about the spiteful doctor and the block-captain haters who loathed the busloads of art lovers and car-parkers eating up the calm of their neighborhood. I remember, too, the serenity of the man’s home and the oddly appointed display of his paintings — his paintings, his wishes to keep them in Merion. I may not like that the Barnes moved to Philly’s Museum Row, but I’m dealing with architects Tod Williams and Billie Tsien’s design. ³ Producer/DJ Apt One has a sad occasion coming. May 12 is the last of his Philadelphyinz parties at Medusa. “It’s not at all the end of me, Skinny Friedman, Young Robots [their label], Hot Mess or any of that, but it’s the last edition of this particular party that started in November 2005,” says Apt. “Six and a half years is an eternity in DJ-night time.” So why shut it down? He’s got a busy touring schedule and Skinny’s living in NYC these days. “But this final Philadelphyinz with Stretch Armstrong is gonna be epic.” ³ A DJ of another sort, Total Traffic’s Anita Gevinson, is finally done with her memoirs and readying a September 2012 release for You Turn Me On, I’m a Radio. Gevinson stressed this is not the untitled and unpublished memoir she wrote with local scribe Jonathan Valania in 2005, which focused on her dizzily loving but tumultuous relationship with the late Warren Zevon.Instead, Gevinson’s newly written tome trails her long radio career, the one that brought her, starting in the late ’70s, famously to Philly’s WMMR and WYSP.“I recently reconnected with George Gruel,Warren’s ex-road manager, the guy who was on the road with me and Warren,” says Gevinson. Gruel just finished his own beautiful coffee-table book, Lawyers Guns & Photos,to which Gevinson provided stories, blurbs and snaps. Gruel is publishing Gevinson’s memoirs through his Big Gorilla Books. “It’s taken forever, but I struggled with making the book as much fun as I had on the radio, to convey how wonderful it felt to be that girl at that time. … I represented my mostly positive experiences.” More on this as the radio dial turns. ³ Brian Nagele’s North Shore Beach Club (the onetime Arrow Swim) opened quietly, didn’t it? He’s been saving the fanfare for the public opening of the adjoining Havana Room restaurant this Friday, May 11, and a series of big-name DJ events like Nick Waterhouse on May 18. Glug. ³ More oddly appointed displays at citypaper.net/criticalmass. (a_amorosi@citypaper.net)

BAREFOOT IN THE DARK: Jeanne Ruddy, who’s led her moderndance company in Spring Garden for 12 years, is closing up shop. BOB EMMOTT

[ dance ]

LAST DANCE Jeanne Ruddy’s finale performance. By Janet Anderson

W

hen the curtain comes down on Jeanne Ruddy Dance’s performance at Suzanne Roberts Theater on Saturday, it won’t be simply closing out the season. It will be the finale of the venerable modern-dance company after a 12-year run. Jeanne Ruddy is a slender, radiant woman with long, blond hair who was once a principal dancer with the Martha Graham Company. At age 58, she looks younger than some of her dancers, and she’s beautiful to watch in motion. Until the late ’90s, Ruddy’s career was firmly planted in New York City, where she premiered many Graham works, danced with Yul Brynner on Broadway in The King and I, directed the modern department of the Alvin Ailey American Dance Center, taught at Juilliard for nearly a decade and had her own small dance troupe. Then her husband, Victor, was offered a prestigious job at a law firm in Philadelphia in 1993. For years, Jeanne continued to teach at Juilliard, commuting back and forth between Philly and New York. But after surviving breast cancer in 1999, Jeanne was overwhelmed with visions of mortality. Everything except her husband seemed ephemeral, and she put roots down here. “All my pieces come from my personal life experience,” says Ruddy. Her cancer scare gave her a new outlook on life and dance, and she used the experience to choreograph Significant Soil,

which premiered at the company’s debut season in 2000 and has since become one of Ruddy’s signatures. The piece takes its name from the biblical parable of the sower — some of the seeds falling on stone and dying, others falling onto fertile soil and flourishing. “Cancer actually was a gift,” she comments. “It taught me mortality was right there. I came out on the other side — with my solo.” As Jeanne and Victor explored their Fairmount neighborhood, they came across an old auto-body shop, formerly a stable, on Brandywine Street near 15th. The couple bought the garage and transformed the humble building near the Spring Garden and Broad subway stop into one of the best live-arts spaces in the city — this was years before the city had set its sights on reviving Broad as an Avenue of the Arts. “I set a goal for myself,” says Ruddy. “It was an opportunity to create new work, inviting in visiting dancer-choreographers.” In 2006, the space opened as the Performance Garage, named in honor of its former life. The company’s final performances will include Game Drive, a dance inspired by a recent safari in Kenya that’s set to music by Curtis professor and recent Pulitzer-winner Jennifer Higdon. Without the responsibility of managing a company, Ruddy’s looking forward to doing some more traveling with her husband — perhaps, she says, to China. Hopefully this will spark more work as enjoyable as Game Drive from Ruddy, who says she has no intention of retiring — she’s just moving on to solo projects.

Cancer gave her a new outlook.

✚ Through May 12, Jeanne Ruddy Dance, $25-$130, Suzanne Roberts Theater,

480 S. Broad St., 215-569-4060, ruddydance.org.

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[ featuring actual opera singers ] ³ rock/pop/opera Dr. Dee (Virgin) — Damon Albarn’s first album in a while to be released under his own name, rather than Gorillaz, Blur, Monkey or whatever — is no conventional solo outing. It’s also an opera staged last summer and based on the life of John Dee, mathematician and adviser to Elizabeth I. Albarn’s melancholy voice intertwines beautifully with the pastoral orchestrations. Sans stage production, patience is required during the inscrutable moments, like the three minutes of sputtering drum loops, or songs featuring actual opera singers. —Michael Pelusi

³ rock/pop Best Coast just got a lot better. Sure, bedheaded, teenybopping California dreamer Bethany Cosentino’s still singing about loneliness, misfit apathy, crazy-making boys and, on the irresistible title anthem of The Only Place (Mexican Summer), reiterating her band’s eponymous West-is-the-best credo. Only now she’s doing it with a revelatory newfound sonic richness and vastly improved production values that allow the luxuriant, Neko Case-ish fullness of her voice to shine through. —K. Ross Hoffman

flickpick

Stepping away from his duties backing retro powerhouse Sharon Jones, in-demand Daptone saxman Neal Sugarman reconvened his long-mothballed Sugarman 3 for their first date in a decade, not so much updating as simply reinhabiting their quintessentially reverent take on a rather less-regarded strand of vintage soul: scorching, instrumental, Hammond-organ-led funk. What the World Needs Now (Daptone), complete with period-appropriate covers (J.J. Jackson, the Standells) and equally hard-swinging originals, with moonlighting from several Dap-King cohorts, does its job and does it well, and that’s surely enough to justify the title. —K. Ross Hoffman

ON THE UPS Is getting happy like getting in shape? “STEFAN SAGMEISTER: THE HAPPY SHOW,”

through Aug. 12, Institute of Contemporary Art, 118 S. 36th St., 215-898-7108, icaphila.org.

³ comedy/experimental music Nobody messes with sounds like the worlds-colliding Reggie Watts. Music fans will dig the way he loops and layers, creating thick soul/pop/rock/R&B songs with nothing more than his own rubbery vocal cords on the new A Live at Central Park (Comedy Central). Comedy nerds will appreciate the way he messes with language, dropping extended, blunt innuendoes between nigh-subtle idiom dissections. Watts plays the Trocadero next Saturday (May 19, thetroc.com). —Patrick Rapa

[ movie review ]

GOD BLESS AMERICA [ B- ] IN ONE OF the more implausible second acts of recent decades, screeching Police

³ I WAS HAPPY at “The Happy Show,” Stefan Sagmeister’s sprawling exhibition at the ICA. I wasn’t bored. Sagmeister, a prolific graphic designer — most notably of album covers for David Byrne, Lou Reed, the Rolling Stones and other musicians — has filled the second-floor galleries, plus interstices like the restrooms and elevator. The artworks include a bicycle-powered neon sign, films, bravura graphics and off-the-cuff jokes like a fire extinguisher transformed into a soothing “_ire Extinguisher.” Sagmeister’s comments on everything in the show — painted legibly but not artfully on the walls — add a second layer of meaning that draws the viewer into his conceptual dialogue. The show explores whether one can achieve happiness as deliberately as one can achieve physical fitness. Sagmeister filmed himself studying meditation and illustrates happiness clichés and maxims in provocative, amusing ways. He also provides a smattering of information from cognitive science and related fields. One big diagram uses stacks of dollar bills to graph the maximum return of happiness as related to annual income. (It peaks at around $70,000.) Sagmeister himself does not seem to support or respond personally to any one idea or philosophy. Consequently, one does not feel the remotest obligation to agree with any particular statement. That’s refreshing. Another thing that made me happy is how I was surrounded by cheerful people, chattering, photographing and taking guided cellphone tours. The show effectively banishes the buttoned-up intellectual restraint one associates with art galleries and gives everyone permission to be casual, convivial and, well — happy. (r_rice@citypaper.net)

21

✚ Attention, writers! This is Robin Rice’s final column for City Paper; she’s leaving to write a book, and we’re very happy for her! We’re looking for a new art critic, and thought it would be an interesting experiment to hold an open call. Interested parties who are highly knowledgeable about art can email at least two art-related clips and one unedited piece of writing — blog post, amazing email burn, whatever — to arts editor Emily Guendelsberger at emilyg@citypaper.net.

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Academy veteran Bobcat Goldthwait has redefined himself as a genuinely perceptive writer/director. The learning curve from 2006’s Sleeping Dogs Lie through 2009’s World’s Greatest Dad has been steep, and not always smooth. And while he’ll never be a visual stylist, his new film, God Bless America, is his most competent and confident, without the glaring missteps that distracted from its predecessors. Unfortunately, as his skills have improved, his urgency has dissipated: Dogs and Dad were sustained by original ideas, but God Bless America is a pallid satire of an oft-abused target, with only the movie’s sharp wit saving it from total redundancy. Like a cross between Dirty Harry and Idiocracy’s Luke Wilson, Joel Murray’s Frank is a downtrodden schlub who despairs over the nation’s downward slide. He’s powerless to act until a terminal diagnosis takes off his restraints and he sets off on a cultural killing spree, mowing down self-centered reality-show brats to make the world safe for sensitive souls. He gains an unlikely accomplice in 16-year-old Roxy (Tara Lynne Barr), whose list of capital crimes includes giving high fives and using the word “stoked.” Frank doesn’t want company, but he can’t bring himself to chase off the only kindred spirit he’s ever known; his own teenage daughter has already been corrupted. There’s an unresolved tension in God Bless America between misanthropic glee and understated humanism: It’s as if Jonathan Demme had directed Natural Born Killers. Goldthwait’s desire to steer clear of adolescent nihilism is laudable, but rather than complicating the sentiment it comes off as if he’s hedging his bets. If Goldthwait didn’t lead off with a sequence in which Frank imagines taking revenge on his mouth-breathing neighbors by using their squalling newborn as a clay pigeon, he might have some room to maneuver, but once you’ve showered your hero with fresh baby’s blood, it’s hard to negotiate for nuance. —Sam Adams

Cultural killing sprees.

GOLDIE GLOCKS: Tara Lynne Barr stars as the 16-year-old who joins middle-aged Frank (Joel Murray) on his mission to wipe out no-goodfor-society reality-show assholes.

re:view Robin Rice on visual art

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³ soul/funk

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shelflife Under the covers with Justin Bauer

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Âł WHEN EDWARD ST. AUBYN glances over a minor

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[ arts & entertainment ]

THE NATURE of DISCOVERY

"

- Associated Press

!

ansp.org

character who “complained about Cambridge, she complained about her husband and her sons, she complained about her house, she complained about France and the sun and the clouds and the leaves and the wind and the bottle tops,â€? he punctuates his evaluation with a barb: “She couldn’t stop; she had to bail out the flooding dinghy of her discontent.â€? This astringency is what makes St. Aubyn’s latest, At Last (Farrar, Straus and Giroux, Jan. 31), so immediately delightful. In this fifth installment of a series tracking privileged, damaged Patrick Melrose through trauma and addiction, St. Aubyn deploys a practiced, pinpoint narration that calibrates bleakness and satire precisely — even if its flawless archness can get fatiguing. This sort of surgical deflation of character used to be called a gimlet eye, but his talent is less one of piercing observation than of transmission. He’s not so much good at identifying character traits as distilling them into a precise concentration of words. That observational trick of finding the balance between recognizable experience and original expression is something that all but the most experimental novels have to manage: presenting a character or an experience that’s both relatable and new, or twisting a clichĂŠ so it looks fresh again. And it’s no easy task. Jeet Thayil, talking to NPR recently about his portrayal of Bombay in Narcopolis (Penguin Press, April 12), distanced himself from the stereotypes of the Indian novel: “I try to avoid any mention of mangoes, of spices and monsoons,â€? he said. Instead, he follows the habitues of an old-fashioned opium den through twentysome years of addiction, tragedy and recovery, sticking to the low-lit alleys and back rooms of a rapidly changing city. Thayil largely succeeds in sidestepping predictable exoticism. Some of his best characters — like Dimple, a temple orphan who moves from brothel to opium den to rehab, shifting between genders and religions — give him the chance to drown in detail. But even dodging Rushdie-style magical realism, when Narcopolis pans out for a long view, detailed hallucinations and paranoid drug dreams substitute the clichĂŠs of addiction for mangoes and spices. Amina Mazid, the bride in Nell Freudenberger’s

The Newlyweds (Knopf, May 1), consciously treads much closer to stereotype. The novel opens as she arrives in Rochester from Bangladesh to marry George after a yearlong online courtship, and tells a fish-out-of-water tale about navigating an American landscape of snow, casseroles and customer-service jobs. Freudenberger’s initially unsentimental portrayal of Amina does her no favors, showing her marriage to George as a calculated shortcut to an American passport. (George, for his part, does little to help — he’s a penny-pinching blowhard, pleased with Amina for being “so much more sensible� than American women.) But in the second half of the book, traveling home to help her parents emigrate as her misgivings multiply (helped along by her teenaged crush, who turns fish-out-ofwater into a love triangle), the difference between Rochester’s timid Amina and the Amina who was so

From brothel to opium den to rehab. anxious to escape village life animates the story. Freudenberger’s arm’s-length narration follows suit, increasingly showing a humane and evenhanded respect for all her characters. That respect might well be because Amina’s story is not hers — she thanks its source and model in her acknowledgements. But Thayil is himself a recovering addict, and St. Aubyn’s novels pull horrors from his own biography; their identification with their creations encourages rougher treatment. The Newlyweds sits somewhere between stereotype and full-on projection, so Freudenberg ends up treating her characters more kindly. If the results are perhaps a little less fun than the acid bath of At Last, that humaneness tempers the exhaustion of observing too well. (j_bauer@citypaper.net)

THE ANDERSON MONARCHS

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WEAK MATERIAL Âł COKO, LELEE AND TAJ started Sisters with Voices as a gospel

group, but God was no way to go gold in 1992. TLC and En Vogue had warmed up the charts earlier that year with their girl-group spin on new jack swing; by October, when SWV released their first album, its title was on the nose. It’s About Time peaked at No. 8 and spawned four hit singles. Their second record didn’t do quite as well, the third ran out of steam and a quickie Christmas collection peaked at 85 on the R&B chart. Coko went solo, flitting back and forth between R&B and gospel; Taj married a football player and flirted with reality TV; and Lelee went broke and once told a magazine she hooked up with women to stay off the streets. But if a reunion was inevitable, new music was a long time coming. SWV announced they were back in 2005, eight years after

their last album, but it’s taken seven more years of intermittent touring to get to I Missed Us (Entertainment One), a bland neosoul compendium of pleas to men who’ve moved on. The edgiest tracks, “Do Ya� and “Better Than I,� taunt an ex — not about his shortcomings, but his new girl’s. “She doesn’t cook/ She doesn’t clean/ Steam your jeans,� Coko coos on “Better Than I�; a few verses later, Lelee issues an ultimatum that bites from Bobby Brown. That’s more backbone than you’ll find on most of the record, but give the ladies their due: All they’ve ever claimed to have are voices, and those are in fine form. Their harmonies are sweet, their solos solid. And that’s the most you can say of SWV. Even in their heyday, they were R&B lite, a bit of filler for En Vogue fans’ CD racks and a punch line in a year that saw releases by TLC, XTC, R.E.M., EPMD, INXS, NOFX and KMFDM. “I make your man’s dick hard with the way I sing,� Coko boasts on “SWV (in the House),� but it’s hard to imagine a man who’d be turned on by all her pandering in “I’m So into You� and “You’re Always on My Mind.� SWV’s only No. 1 single, “Weak,� is utterly forgettable; like most of It’s About Time, it’s a trainer slow jam, fit for 9 p.m. airplay to give 12-year-olds the barest hint of what comes after hugging, kissing and removing shoes. That makes the album’s two odes to cunnilingus stand out all the more. “Downtown� is silly enough, with its earnest instruction (“Put your mouth on me�), but “Blak Pudd’n,� with Taj and Sahpreem King trading oddball pop-culture references, is unintentionally hilarious. Bill Cosby makes sense and Parker Lewis Can’t Lose was at least contemporary, but Joanie Loves Chachi? Roseanne Roseannadanna? Not so much. As one of the disc’s only rap showcases, “Blak Pudd’n� is short on vocal chops, but what’s the use of being blessed with a voice if you’re just going to sing the praises of a man who doesn’t think you’re enough for him? (m_fine@citypaper.net)

[ arts & entertainment ]

Âł rock

✚ SPACEHOG Another anomaly in the gloriously anomalyfilled landscape of late-’90s alternative radio, Spacehog’s 1995 one-hit Resident Alien was a satisfying splash of falsetto-fied glam-rock revivalism from a band that never completely got their due. (Their faux-pretentious follow-up flop, The Chinese Album, is fairly ripe for reappraisal.) They’re not a band many expected to have a third act.And yet they’re back ... from outer space. (Ostensibly — actually, members have been busy divorcing Liv Tyler and sparring with Joaquin Phoenix.) And they’ve come in peace. The forthcoming As It Is on Earth — the first outing in over a decade from the British-born, New York-based outfit, which now includes multiinstrumentalist, former Cibo Matto drummer and general NYC musician-about-town Timo Ellis — reveals that Royston Langdon’s Bowie-lite baritone remains delightfully intact. So does the band’s crucial cognizance that the glam-critical importance of being earnest doesn’t mean you can’t also get a little goofy. —K. Ross Hoffman Fri., May 11, 9:30 p.m., $12-$15, with The Netherlands, Desoto Jones, Milkboy Philly, 1100 Chestnut St., 215-925-MILK, milkboyphilly.com.

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a&e

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reconsiderme

Âł ROCKY MARRIAGE “Boston marriageâ€? was 19th-century code for the kind of devoted friendship between women that likely cloaked a romantic partnership. In David Mamet’s play, Anna and Claire (watched over by Catherine, a dull-witted Scottish maid) share a deep connection that is threatened by dalliances on both sides. A pair of turn-of-the-century ladies might seem like unlikely Mamet protagonists, but if you’re thinking the playwright has morphed into Edith Wharton, don’t worry. Despite a thin veneer of Victorian vocabulary, most of Boston Marriage is his usual fusillade of staccato, occasionally off-color one-liners (his inner frat boy apparently can’t resist including several predictable muff jokes). There’s even a typical Mametian caper, involving an emerald necklace of shady provenance. Some of Boston Marriage is funny. Some of it isn’t. Either way, the script is so hyperbolic it demands restraint and taste in production, especially in revealing the more serious underlying themes of the pleasure and pain of secret love and betrayal. But here the heavy hand of director Jennifer Childs cranks everything up to full throttle, obliterating all nuances. The actresses play badminton with the lines, and things that should

be deliciously, covertly wicked are merely vulgar. It’s a shame, because there’s considerable talent involved. Grace Gonglewski should be ideal as Claire, and she and Caroline Dooner’s Catherine have their moments. But the potential saving point of the play is the sense that Anna and Claire are genuinely attracted to each other — here, that disappears entirely. Boston Marriage is overwritten, overproduced and overacted, and I was grateful when it was over. (d_fox@citypaper.net) ✚ Through May 20, $28-$36, Plays and

Players, 1714 Delancey St., 215-5929560, 1812productions.org.

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DANCE CELEBRATION Presented by Dance AfďŹ liates and the Annenberg Center.

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AnnenbergCenter.org/MOMIX 215.898.3900 Tickets start at $20!

For your chance to win tickets to an advance screening of the film, log on to www.citypaper.net/win THIS FILM IS RATED PG-13. Please note: Passes received through this promotion do not guarantee you a seat at the theatre. Seating is on a first come, first served basis, except for members of the reviewing press. Theatre is overbooked to ensure a full house. No admittance once screening has begun. All federal, state and local regulations apply. A recipient of tickets assumes any and all risks related to use of ticket, and accepts any restrictions required by ticket provider. Lionsgate, all promo partners and their affiliates accept no responsibility or liability in connection with any loss or accident incurred in connection with use of a prize. Tickets cannot be exchanged, transferred or redeemed for cash, in whole or in part. We are not responsible if, for any reason, winner is unable to use his/her ticket in whole or in part. Not responsible for lost, delayed or misdirected entries. All federal and local taxes are the responsibility of the winner. Void where prohibited by law. No purchase necessary. Participating sponsors, their employees & family members and their agencies are not eligible. NO PHONE CALLS!

IN THEATERS MAY 18

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INVITE YOU AND A GUEST TO CATCH A SNEAK PEEK

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[ arts & entertainment ]

STATION TO STATION: Antwan Carr envisions a nationwide network of web-based stations, with PC Radio Live leading the charge. JESSICA KOURKOUNIS

[ hip-hop/radio/web ]

WE’LL DO IT LIVE West Philly hip-hop entrepreneurs aim to rewrite the web-radio blueprint. By Brion Shreffler

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n a quiet section of Powelton Village, behind a shuttered storefront and across the street from an empty lot, a small group of tech-savvy entrepreneurs and music fans is plotting a paradigm shift in the world of music radio. “As a producer, I was going to DJs and stations so often to break my artists, I decided to start my own,” says Derrick Pratt during a break in PC Radio Live’s (pcradiolive.com) morning show, which has since adopted the moniker Crush & Roll. He and three others, all with mics in front them, sit on stools around a long table. The small room is papered with hip-hop posters. Pratt, with two monitors in front of him, mans the social media and a mixing board. His PC Radio Live partner, Antwan Carr, scans social media on another laptop at an adjacent table, while providing on-the-fly technical assistance. Pratt puts on his headphones, calls for quiet. “Still Not a Player” by Big Punisher cuts out. They go live with this week’s guest host, local comedian Brent “Raul” Johnstone carrying the conversation. Also chiming in are sports reporter Tara “Stormy” Sampson and cohost/news reporter Cydney Foye. The chemistry’s there, the exchanges are quick, witty, entertaining. You’d never guess just how new this crew is to all this. The morning show is just over four months old. Sampson, Foye and Johnstone came to the station with the same amount of experience in radio as Pratt and Carr: zero. Their goal is to bring the feel of terrestrial radio to the web, where any unattended loop of music can get away with calling itself a station. With PC Radio Live, it’s about balancing the music with engaging commentary, and focusing on fresh talent. Local artists get a chance to be heard; rookie radio personalities get their first break. ³ PC RADIO LIVE LAUNCHED in January 2010, but didn’t make its most ambitious moves until February of the next year. That’s when Carr joined up full-time, and he and Pratt started working on franchising.

“Pratt had the vision. I brought to the table what could make that happen,” says Carr, who got into music as a producer, and launched his music submission site, mp3manage.com, in the beginning of 2011. So far, the SongMovers Radio Network (songmoversradio.net), with PC Radio Live as its flagship station, has expanded into New York and Boston. They plan to move into Detroit this summer, then Nashville, then who knows? “It’s something I’ve been wanting to do for years. Forging numbers is always better,” Pratt says. New stations pay a fee for licensing, software and support. Once established, they can choose whether they want to exchange content with other SongMovers stations scattered across the country. Right now, PC Radio Live’s daily morning show is followed by a two-hour set by Jermaine Bowden, aka DJ Spazo, at the Harlem-based Lean Brothers Radio (leanbrothersradio.com). With Carr and Pratt’s help, Bowden will build a 24-hour station with his own programming by late May or early June. The idea of mutual growth is what Bowden latches onto. “Branding with them brings me to a whole new world,” he says. “I let them know what’s hot in NYC, they do the same for me in Philly, and Chubby Chub keeps an eye on Boston.” “We’re doing the footwork radio executives don’t want to do,” says Willie Sanchez, aka DJ Chubby Chub. After 10 years at Hot 97 in Boston, Sanchez says he jumped at the chance to shed the weight of the creativity-stifling terrestrial radio format. His site, Street Fix Radio (streetfixradio.com), likewise utilizes content from the other stations on the network. “[Terrestial radio] program directors are not letting DJs be DJs,”

“We’re doing the footwork radio executives don’t want to do,” says DJ Chubby Chub.

Sanchez says. On his daily show, 3-7 p.m., he’s able to showcase his song-selection skills — and live mixing abilities. This has already become a hallmark of PC Radio Live, as well. Philly mix masters like DJ Truuf provide 15 minutes of live mixing during a break in the morning show. While Sanchez usually focuses on contemporary hip-hop, he revels in the freedom to dip into the back catalog for lost gems, or switch it up with some R&B, reggae, reggaeton, dance and so forth. He also considers it part of his mission to boost Boston’s upand-comers, like Young Dapper, Masspike Miles and Foosh and Cash Out Quis. “A great variety of music, without those same 10 tracks every day — that’s what we give them,” he says. “There are plenty of people with résumés,” Pratt says, before rattling off his own list of lesser-known Philly artists who’ve gotten airplay on the network: Chic Raw, Tone Trump, E. Neff, Soul Rock, and on and on. DJ Ace McClowd helms two of the station’s programs that do the most for new artists, AnR 2 Da Streetz and Gunline Battlegrounds, which showcases rap battles. Quality programming should lead to increased listenership. But Pratt adds that they’re more willing to help out artists with smaller followings if they see — via Facebook, Twitter and such — they’re willing to promote the station while promoting themselves. Carr credits the launch of a mobile site, along with the start of the morning show on Feb. 6, as the main factors for PC Radio Live jumping from 3,000 to 25,000 weekly listeners (from 183 countries). “The smartphone is the new Walkman, and we’re the next wave,” Carr says. The station is set to launch a communityoutreach program for kids this summer because, Carr says, they want to “change the whole way entry into radio and the music business works,” while “returning positivity and thought-provoking commentary to urban radio, along with music, through DJs freed of constraints, adequately presented as an art form.” (editorial@citypaper.net)

✚ GET OUT. Find out what to do and where to do it at City Paper’s A&E blog, citypaper.net/criticalmass.

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movie

“BURTON AND DEPP HAVE DONE IT AGAIN.

shorts

DARK SHADOWS IS A WINNER!”

FILMS ARE GRADED BY CITY PAPER CRITICS A-F.

Scott Mantz, ACCESS HOLLYWOOD

‘‘WONDERFUL!

THOROUGHLY ENTERTAINING.’’ Jim Ferguson, ABC-TV

“A TIM BURTON

CLASSIC.’’

Viviana Vigil, REELZCHANNEL

“JOHNNY DEPP AT HIS ABSOLUTE BEST.

WICKEDLY FUNNY!” Mark S. Allen, CBS-TV

Dark Shadows

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SPECIAL MIDNIGHT SCREENINGS THURSDAY, MAY 10 STARTS EVERYWHERE FRIDAY, MAY 11

DARK SHADOWS|CSloggy, spiritless and bawdy in all the wrong places, Tim Burton’s semi-modern interpretation of Dark Shadows refuses to pick a hat and wear it. It exhibits wildly disparate touches of melodrama, horror, slapstick, big-eyed Burtonism and unabashed camp, but never once puts in the effort required to make any path crystallize. The cultish supernatural soap, responsible for bringing true creature-feature staples to daytime TV, seems the ideal project for Burton and hetero life partner Johnny Depp, both reportedly huge fans of the series. But for a feature sold as a vehicle for Depp to stretch his vampiric legs as iconic neck-biter Barnabas Collins, this Shadows starts off strangely, shackled to the perspective of Victoria Winters (Bella Heathcote), a wisp of a woman applying for a governess position with the peculiar Collins clan 200 years after Barnabas is buried by jilted lover/witch Angelique Bouchard (Eva Green). After being unearthed by a construction crew, Barnabas’ entry into modernity (early-’70s Maine) is heavy on this-modernlife gags — hardy har, he doesn’t know what McDonald’s is and thinks Alice Cooper is a woman. But even the edges of those easy jokes are dulled by superfluous characters, like Roger Collins (Jonny Lee Miller), who contributes nothing as the father to spooky young David (Gulliver McGrath), or drunken Dr. Hoffman (Helena Bonham Carter), David’s live-in shrink and gifter of unnecessary vamp fellatio. Depp’s Barnabas is more scrappy and humorous than Jonathan Frid’s original, but the flappy trappings of the love triangle between he, Victoria and Angelique temper any real exploration of the character, comical or not. Burton treats Chloe Grace Moretz, Michelle Pfeiffer and Jackie Earle Haley, all great actors with something to contribute,

as afterthoughts, too wrapped up in his own brand to let the right film in. —Drew Lazor (Pearl, Roxy, UA Riverview)

DARLING COMPANION A haiku: Diane Keaton and Kevin Kline something something. There’s a dog, maybe? (Not reviewed) (Ritz Five)

ELLES|BThe NC-17-rated Elles is about sex, and it features it graphically, but it’s not sexy. This mostly engaging story concerns Anne (Juliette Binoche), an ELLE magazine freelance writer interviewing female students who work as escorts. Working on the story “changes” her. Anne’s bourgeois life is what girls like Lola (Anaïs Demoustier), who grew up in housing projects wearing acrylic sweaters, desire. Scenes of the students having rough sex or getting urinated on are contrasted with Anne cooking and doing laundry. Is Anne’s husband likely to be one of Lola’s clients? Does Anne overstep her bounds with the girls? Elles forcibly suggests these questions. This glossy film makes mostly familiar points about power, control and how women — housewives or whores — are exploited. When Lola says escorting, with its earning potential, is like smoking (hard to give up) it makes sense, but it’s hardly revelatory. More affecting is the sadness Anne feels about her life as she develops empathy for the girls and tries to instill the same values in her kids. Her empowerment is the key to the film, and the luminous Binoche’s fearless performance — she masturbates and fellates on screen — makes viewers care for her. —Gary M. Kramer (Ritz at the Bourse)

FIRST POSITION|B“I guess that’s flexible,” says 17-year-old Rebecca House-

GOD BLESS AMERICA|BRead Sam Adams’ review on p. 21. (Ritz at the Bourse) MY WAY|C

THE AVENGERS|B+ Knotting together storylines from nearly a decade of individual hero movies, The Avengers is Marvel property at its most decadent, with

There is an undeniable appeal to gathering this many high-caliber veteran British thespians in one place and letting them just go about being charming to one another. Judi Dench is a widow in search of a life, Tom Wilkinson is a retired judge rediscovering his past, Maggie Smith is a bigot in need of an operation, and Bill Nighy and Penelope Wilton are a constantly sparring married couple. They all end up at the same rundown hotel in India, where a colorful backdrop and strange food offer resolutions to each of their stories — which are not in any way exotic. The scenery

HEADHUNTERS|B Art thief Roger Brown (Aksel Hennie) tries to nab a Rubens, but things sour and he’s forced to run. The ensuing cat-and-mouse chase is anything but original, yet Hennie’s nuanced performance makes the proceedings feel welcomingly fresh. As arrogant antihero Roger suffers a near-fatal car crash and endeavors to change his identity, Hennie injects the right hint of vulnerability into his character. That meekness is what makes the film, riddled with sloppy sentimentality and occasional crudeness, palatable. —Michael Gold (Ritz at the Bourse) MONSIEUR LAZHAR|A Monsieur Lazhar opens with kids playing in a MontrÊal public-school yard only moments before 11-yearold Simon runs inside to discover his teacher hanging from the ceiling of her classroom. With her school thrown into an emotional tizzy, the principal hires the first pleasant face with a rÊsumÊ to walk into her office, an Algerian transplant named Bachir Lazhar (Mohamed Fellag), who we soon discover is grappling with a heavy heart of his own. Weaving cinematic parallels between the emotional development of

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[ movie shorts ]

the teacher and his students, the film brings up a lot of real-world issues, but the real joy of it is in the classroom, where Fellag and a cast of talented ’tweens draw up a lesson plan about dealing with tragedy and finding that glowing exit sign at the end of a dark hall. —Josh Middleton (Ritz Five)

THE RAVEN|CEdgar Allan Poe’s (John Cusack) selfdescribed “biggest fan� undertakes a series of murders inspired by some of his most famous stories, so the author himself is called in to assist with the investigation — never mind that a cursory skimming would unearth the relevant clues. No amount of swinging pendulums, cobblestone streets or walled-in bodies can cover for the fact

IT’S ONLY MAY AND I ALREADY HAVE MY FAVORITE FILM OF THE YEAR

-AS ACIDIC AND FUNNY A MOVIE AS YOU’RE LIKELY TO SEE THIS YEAR.

AN ANTIDOTE TO THE CURRENT STATE OF POPULAR CULTURE AND MEDIA.� Marshall Fine, HUFFINGTON POST

BLOODY

“

BRILLIANT AND FUNNY AS HELL. IT’S TAXI

DRIVER FOR THE TMZ GENERATION.�

- Dennis Dermody, PAPER

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SCATHINGLY HYSTERICAL.�

-Aaron Hillis, VILLAGE VOICE

CITIZENS BRIGADE

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TAKING OUT THE TRASH, ONE JERK AT A TIME.

ING TUR F E AU C B ’ S

T MASTER! S E B SPECIAL FILM EVENT!

FRIDAY MAY 18 11PM IBRAHIM THEATRE 3701 CHESTNUT STREET IHOUSEPHILLY.ORG

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MAY 19 THROUGH 26 PHILLY IMPROV THEATRE 407 BAINBRIDGE STREET

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CONTINUING

THE BEST EXOTIC MARIGOLD HOTEL|C

is picturesque, each actor has his or her share of moments, but there’s not much here you couldn’t find on a tour bus full of retirees. —Shaun Brady (Ritz East)

a&e

My Way follows the struggles of a Korean long-distance runner during World War II. Jun-Shik, a poor boy from the countryside, finds a racing mate in Japanese Tatsuo, the grandson of a military officer overseeing the occupation of Jun-Shik’s town. Politics fractures the friendship they shared as children and war pushes their Olympic goals out of reach. After Jun-Shik is forced to enlist in the Japanese army, the principals fight across China, Mongolia, Russia, Germany and France. The battle scenes, while not for the weak of heart, are fantastically sweeping, covering Russian tundras and Normandy’s beaches, leaving no shot of seeping wounds or flying guts spared. But while the attention to detail is admirable in the battle scenes, it’s a quality that’s missing from the film’s character development. My Way shows occupiers and the occupied fighting alongside one another, but the relationships are far from complex. The hero is a complete angel, the Japanese are villains and the other nationalities present never fully evolve. The action is engaging, but this film, clocking in at 143 minutes, is a long one, and the one-dimensionality of the characters doesn’t make time go by any faster. —Cassie Owens (Ritz Five)

S.H.I.E.L.D. head Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson) coaxing lone wolves like Iron Man (Robert Downey Jr.), Captain America (Chris Evans) and the Hulk (Mark Ruffalo) into crewing up to protect Earth from Loki (Tom Hiddleston), whose evil intentions were outlined meekly in last year’s craptastic Thor. Some personalities are naturally heftier than others but director Joss Whedon levels the disparity via dialogue, even managing to work in a few zingers for the naturally humorless God of Thunder (Chris Hemsworth). Such super-humanizing, however cursory, makes The Avengers’ string of red-blooded action sequences that much easier to cheer for. —D.L. (Pearl, UA Riverview)

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knecht as she stretches her leg so her foot goes over her head — way over her head. “It’s pretty gross. A lot of people tell me I’m disgusting.� She smiles broadly, happy enough to demonstrate not only her extreme flexibility, but also her efforts “at normalcy,� like doing homework, having a boyfriend and trying out for cheerleading. Rebecca’s one of six young dancers profiled in Bess Kargman’s doc, and the one who seems most able to describe herself apart from her training: The others, ranging in age from 10 to 17, keep focused on what their work means to them and their families. The film assembles them much like other documentaries about brilliant young performers, underscoring that, for all their similar devotion, they’re from different backgrounds. And they're amazing on stage (see also: Mad Hot Ballroom, Spellbound, Louder Than a Bomb). The children’s parents and instructors are equally devoted to the children’s incipient careers. Twelveyear-old Miko’s teacher suggests she be homeschooled so she can have more time to practice ballet. “I miss my friends,� Miko says, the camera close on her face as she leans over her desk. She hopes someday she will dance in a company with her little brother Jules, currently in class with her. A shot of him practicing in line with other kids at the barre cuts to Jules alone. “I think I’m best at, not at emotion,� he says, “but at smiling.� This offers brief insight into a raft of issues the film doesn’t engage. What makes these children seem made for ballet and, perhaps more significantly, for this film? They’re dedicated, articulate and they’re all very good at smiling — that is, helping adults believe what they want to believe about skill, beauty, art and kids. —Cindy Fuchs (Ritz Five)

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that director James McTeigue’s grasp of Poe doesn’t extend much further than the average high schooler’s. The master of atmospheric dread and inexplicable mysteries is trapped in a story that possesses neither. It's enough to drive anyone to liquor and tinctures. —S.B. (Pearl, UA Riverview)

SAFE|CAfter Luke Wright (Jason Statham), a former NYPD operative specializing in the illegal murking of mafiosi, botches a fixed match, Russian gangsters murder everyone close to him, leaving the poor guy with little to live for. He comes close to ending it, but not before crossing paths with young Mei (Catherine Chan), a math prodigy employed by Han (James Hong) to keep his books without leaving a paper trail. The elongated chaos of director Boaz Yakin’s New York separates Safe from the average boot-to-gut vehicle, but that doesn’t make its premise any less choppy and empty. Statham has his most fun when forced to cope with preposterous circumstances, so any setup with duller stakes makes him listless. —D.L. (Pearl, UA Riverview) SOUND OF MY VOICE|B Peter Aitken (Christopher Denham), a documentary filmmaker, and his girlfriend Lorna (Nicole Vicius) infiltrate a cult in order to expose it. Brit Marling’s Maggie is the cult’s, and the movie’s, central object of worship, a serene but steely figure who tells her devotees she’s from the year 2054. Fans of no-budget science fiction will want to believe in Sound, which peaks with a scene in which Maggie’s followers press her for a piece of future history. This moment neatly doubles as a test of the audience’s faith and a rejoinder to the genre’s implicit assumption that even

the near future will look (or sound) nothing like the present. The movie’s brusque ending feels not just open-

armcinema25.com. The Music of

6789, countytheater.org. Today’s

Chance (1993, U.S., 98 min.), a Paul

Special (2009, U.S., 99 min.): A fancy

Auster adaptation in which two men are forced to build a hulking stone wall to pay off gambling debts. In All I Desire (1953, U.S., 79 min.), an actress (Barbara Stanwyck) returns to the hubby and kids she abandoned years before. Thu., May 10, 8 p.m., free.

chef is forced to take over his family’s Indian restaurant and learns to embrace his Desi heritage. Optional dinner inspired by the film from Vine and Fig Tree Bistro after the screening. Wed., May 16, 5:45 p.m., $9.75-$50.

INTERNATIONAL HOUSE THE AWESOME FEST

ended, but unfinished — as vague as a fortune teller’s predictions. Sound of My Voice has great atmosphere, but it signifies less than it could. —Sam Adams (Ritz Five)

WE HAVE A POPE|B+ Dr. Bruzzi arrives at the Vatican to treat Cardinal Melville (Michel Piccoli), the newly elected Pope who’s suffering an unexpected crisis of confidence. When Melville escapes into the outside world, Bruzzi devises a new, fairer way to conduct an election with a volleyball tournament. The preposterousness of this approach only makes clear the general preposterousness of electing a pontiff. But if everyone else turns increasingly silly, Melville, pretending to be an actor, has a revelation: The Church, the politics and the public presentations are indeed acting. The irony, the film asserts, is that coming to this honest appraisal makes Melville both better suited and less able to serve the faithful. —C.F. (Ritz at the Bourse)

✚ REPERTORY FILM

The Trocadero, 1003 Arch St., 215922-6888, thetroc.com. Father’s Day (2011, U.S., 99 min.): Canadian collective Astron-6 riffs on B movies with the Troma tale of an unlikely trio seeking revenge on the Father’s Day Killer. Tue., May 15, 8 p.m., $10.

THE BALCONY 1003 Arch St., 215-922-6888, thetroc. com. Dirty Dancing (1987, U.S., 100 min.): Nobody puts Baby in a corner. Nobody. Mon., May 14, 8 p.m., $3.

BRYN MAWR FILM INSTITUTE 824 W. Lancaster Ave., Bryn Mawr, 610-527-9898, brynmawrfilm. org. Blood and Lace (1971, U.S., 87 min.): A motherless teenager struggles with a depraved orphanage director and a persistent killer. Fri., May 11, 11:30 p.m., $7.

COLONIAL THEATRE 227 Bridge St., Phoenixville, 610-9171228, thecolonialtheatre.com. The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie (1969, U.K., 116 min.): Downton Abbey HBIC Maggie Smith won an Oscar for playing the titular schoolteacher, whose love of fascism and openness with her students quickly becomes problematic. Sun., May 13, 2 p.m., $8.

ANDREW’S VIDEO VAULT

COUNTY THEATER

The Rotunda, 4014 Walnut St.,

20 E. State St., Doylestown, 215-345-

ENTER FOR THE CHANCE TO WIN AN ADMIT-TWO PASS TO THE SPECIAL ADVANCE SCREENING OF

BY TEXTING THE WORD DEFENSEMAN AND YOUR ZIP CODE TO 43549 (EXAMPLE TEXT: DEFENSEMAN 19103)

www.CrookedArrows.com facebook.com/crookedarrows twitter.com/crookedarrows THE FILM HAS BEEN RATED PG-13. PARENTS STRONGLY CAUTIONED. SOME MATERIAL MAY BE INAPPROPRIATE FOR CHILDREN UNDER 13. No purchase necessary. While supplies last. There is no charge to text 43KIX. Message and data rates from your wireless carrier may apply. Text HELP for info, STOP to opt-out. One entry per cell phone #. Late and/or duplicate entries will not be Must be 13 years of age to enter contest and attend screening. Seating is on a first-come, first-served basis, except for members of the reviewing press. Theater is overbooked to guarantee a full house. Sponsors are not responsible for lost or redirected entries, phone failures, or tampering. Employees of Freestyle Releasing and the Philadelphia City Paper are not eligible. Deadline for entries is Friday, May 11, 2012 at Noon ET.

PHILADELPHIA ENGAGEMENT BEGINS MAY 18

AT AMC CHERRY HILL , AMC NESHAMINY, AMC HAMILTON

3701 Chestnut St., 215-387-5125, ihousephilly.org. The Bride Wore Black (1968, France, 107 min.): After the groom is murdered at their wedding, a mad-as-hell bride strikes back. Thu., May 10, 7 p.m., $9. Agony: The Life and Death of Rasputin (1975, U.S.S.R., 142 min.): Elem Klimov injects startling sumptuousness into his biopic on the legendary Russian monk. Sat., May 12, 2 p.m., $9. F for Fake (1975, U.S., 87 min.): Orson Welles’ documentary on an art forger grows into an essay on the value of authenticity. Sat., May 12, 7 p.m., $9.

NATIONAL MUSEUM OF AMERICAN JEWISH HISTORY 101 S. Independence Mall East, 215-923-3811, nmajh.org. Yoo-Hoo, Mrs. Goldberg (2009, U.S., 92 min.): Writer/producer/actress Gertrude Berg was a trailblazer for Jews and women both on and behind the TV cameras. Wed., May 16, 6:30 p.m., $10.

[ movie shorts ]

SCRIBE VIDEO CENTER International House, 3701 Chestnut St., 215-387-5125, scribe.org. The Anderson Monarchs (2012, U.S., 90 min.): A girls’ soccer team in South Philly breaks down the gender barriers of the sport. Tue., May 15, 7 p.m., $10.

SECRET CINEMA International House, 3701 Chestnut St., 215-387-5125, thesecretcinema. com. A Secret Cinema Blind Date: After sorting through a 12-year backlog of 35mm prints, the folks at Secret Cinema have no clear idea what they’ll be unleashing on their audience. Fri., May 11, 7 p.m., $9.

WOODEN SHOE BOOKS 508 S. Fifth St., 215-413-0999, woodenshoebooks.com. I Only Want You To Love Me (1976, Germany, 104 min.): Reserved construction worker Peter tries to buy love and ends up with a mountain of debt. Yay, capitalism! Sun., May 13, 7 p.m., free.

NOMAD PIZZA 611 S. 7th St., 215-238-0900, nomadpizzaco.com. Harold and Maude (1971, U.S., 91 min.): Good luck fighting the skeeviness of watching a gloomy 20-something and a manic septuagenarian fall in love. Fri., May 11, 10 p.m., free. Superbad (2007, U.S., 113 min.): Remember when Jonah Hill was still chubby and Michael Cera’s awkwardness was still endearing? Wed., May 16, 8:30 p.m., free.

More on:

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LISTINGS@CITYPAPER.NET | MAY 10 - MAY 16

the agenda

[ big buzzy warbly wobbles ]

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agenda

the

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NEW ALOHA: R. Ring — Mike Montgomery of Ampline and Kelley Deal of The Breeders — plays North Star Bar on Monday. CHRIS GLASS

The Agenda is our selective guide to what’s going on in the city this week. For comprehensive event listings, visit citypaper.net/listings. IF YOU WANT TO BE LISTED:

THURSDAY

5.10 [ theater ]

✚ THE SEAGULL An upstart theater company focusing on classics is an unlikely chimera, but Quintessence Theatre Group is proving it can be done, completing a successful season with Chekhov’s The Seagull.

—Mark Cofta Through June 3, $10-$30, Sedgewick Theater, 7137 Germantown Ave., 877238-5596, quintessencetheatre.org.

[ singer-songwriter ]

✚ MARY GAUTHIER Why is Mary Gauthier — always a cult figure with hot-and-heavy buzz — working the upstairs room at World

Café Live rather than the grand hall below? Maybe it’s her intensity. Gauthier has a good number of songs so dark you can barely see them, harsh stories rasped in sharp detail. Candor is her specialty. At a Folk Alliance panel last year about the myth of the starving artist, Gauthier spoke about how she, a recovering alcoholic, felt it was important for her to visit rehab centers to give fellow travelers hope. And when asked what self-imposed limitations she was about to cast off, to everyone’s shock and delight Gauthier stated, firmly and flatly, “I am going to fire my management. They tell me not to come here, [that] I’m above this! This is my tribe. This is where I come to get my batteries recharged. I need this.” Don’t we all need some of that honesty? —Mary Armstrong Thu., May 10, 8 p.m., $20, with Ed Romanoff, World Café Live, 3025 Walnut St., 215-222-1400, worldcafelive.com.

FRIDAY

5.11 [ rock/“gospel” ]

✚ SPIRITUALIZED Nobody makes music like Jason Pierce. In the 20-some years since the dissolution of his pioneering Spacemen 3, the bynow-iconic British rocker (sometimes styled as J. Spaceman, though his legal surname seems just as apropos of his music’s emotional effect) has developed, honed, perfected and repeatedly revisited (with considerable fidelity, though varying degrees of potency), essentially a single, singular psych-gospel-soul-folkblues-space-drone-minimalistmaximalist-rock template. The elemental urgency, bombastic transcendence and unapologetic excess of this seemingly unsustainable approach are nearly captured by the aptly overblown

name, Spiritualized, he invented for the long-running band of which he is effectively the sole true member. Sweet Heart, Sweet Light (Fat Possum/Double Six), album number seven, is no exception: It’s as familiar and predictable as an old drug. Clearly Pierce has no musical surprises for us at this point — but it’s also the most enjoyable, and certainly the most archetypal, Spiritualized record in ages. And it’s a high no one else can supply. —K. Ross Hoffman Fri., May 11, 8 p.m., $20-$26, with Nikki Lane, TLA, 334 South St., tlaphilly.com.

SATURDAY

5.12 [ dubstep/dance ]

✚ RUSKO At this rate, it seems like

dubstep’s going to go pop well before pop goes dubstep. Either way, look for Leeds-born producer Rusko to be on the frontlines of the revolution: He’s already worked with Britney Spears and remixed Adele and M.I.A., among others. Rusko’s also generally credited with (or blamed for) being an originator of the visceral, virulent, midrange heavy strain (so-called “brostep”) that’s been massively popularized by statesiders like Skrillex. What’s mildly mystifying is why the genre’s caught on with the U.S. masses only in its extreme, aggressive form rather than any of the myriad crossover-friendly iterations Rusko sets forth on the deliriously entertaining Songs (Mad Decent), which plays like a U.K .version of Major Lazer’s hyper-stuffed hedonistic excess, flitting through candy-coated takes on 2-step, jungle, bassline, rave, reggae (dub, roots and dancehall), electro-R&B and thumping, diva-fied club pop, each laced

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Submit information by email (listings@citypaper.net) to Josh Middleton or enter them yourself at citypaper.net/submit-event with the following details: date, time, address of venue, telephone number and admission price. Incomplete submissions will not be considered, and listings information will not be accepted over the phone.

Director Alexander Burns’ production features Barrymore Award-winner Janis Dardaris as Arkadina, a famous actress befuddled by her moody writer son Konstantin (Jamison Foreman). She’d much rather entertain writer Trigorin, who, like Chekhov, is a celebrated author of humorous short stories — and, like Konstantin, desires young aspiring actress Nina (Rachel Brodeur). Though Chekhov called the 1896 play a comedy, the conflagration sparked by these four results in soulful drama that hasn’t lost its edge.

33

—K. Ross Hoffman

This year the panel expands to include teachers, neighbors and the grandson of a deputy

Sat., May 12, 2:30 p.m., $49.50-$69, Loaded Festival with Flux Pavilion, Wolfgang Gartner, Dirtyloud and Downlink, Festival Pier at Penn’s Landing, 601 N. Columbus Blvd., 215-922-1011, livenation.com.

[ lectures ]

✚ EASTERN STATE PENITENTIARY ALUMNI REUNION To those who eek through it in October, Eastern State Penitentiary is the haunted house to hit up over Halloween. But the big stone fortress is good for more than a few well-timed screams. Each year, former inmates, corrections officers and administrative workers return to the prison to share their stories and to answer questions about their experiences inside the penitentiary walls.

warden who was born and raised at ESP for four years. Poor dude. —James Friel Sat., May 12, 1:30 p.m., $8-$12, Eastern State Penitentiary, 2027 Fairmount Ave., 215-236-5111, easternstate.org.

[ shopping spree ]

✚ ART STAR CRAFT BAZAAR The ninth annual Art Star Craft Bazaar just happens to fall on

Mother’s Day weekend, so what better place to find a gift and snag some QT than a little outdoor shopping romp through the local craft community’s biggest event of the year? You can snag one of Tasha McKelvey’s woodsy pottery designs, a felt bouquet from Giant Dwarf or some “utilitarian couture� from Nomaddicts. And on the off chance Mom still likes to get her groove on, there’s the Philebrity-curated stage, where the unmistakable Blayer Pointdujour & The Rockers Galore lead the charge along with City Rain and Swedeland.

of Thurston Moore and Kim Gordon has thrown Sonic Youth fans for a loop and shrouded the band’s future in uncertainty. Fortunately, there’s guitarist Lee Ranaldo’s Between the Times & the Tides (Matador). Unlike prior solo Ranaldo excursions, this is no noise excursion or art-installation piece. K E L LY J E F F R E Y

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with juddering half-time drops and big, buzzy warbly wobbles.

[ rock/pop ]

✚ LEE RANALDO BAND It’s no secret: The separation

Instead, Ranaldo builds off his subtly tuneful SY contributions, like “Eric’s Trip,� “Mote� and “Karen Revisited.� Between the Times & the Tides successfully merges post-punk, prog, folk-rock and twang — within one song, in the case of “Fire

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SUNDAY

5.13

—Michael Pelusi Sat., May 12, 8 p.m., $22-$25, with M. Ward , Union Transfer, 1026 Spring Garden St., 215-232-2100, utphilly.com.

[ rock/pop ]

—Chris Brown Sat.-Sun., May 12-13, 11 a.m.-6 p.m., free, Great Plaza at Penn’s Landing, 201 S. Columbus Blvd, artstarcraftbazaar.com.

[ the agenda ]

Island (phases).� Ranaldo gets strong support from friends like organist John Medeski, Wilco guitarist Nels Cline and some Sonic alumni (Steve Shelley, Jim O’Rourke and Bob Bert). But, even with his limited vocal range, Ranaldo assumes center stage here with confidence, like on the sweet arpeggios of “Off the Wall� and “Stranded.� All things must pass, right?

✚ BROTHER JT John Terlesky hails from the Lehigh Valley, but he’s a Philadelphia noise-psych legend. First with the Original Sins and recently on his increasingly primal solo albums, Brother JT sounds like a nervous Pentecostal preacher screaming atop a warped copy of Easter Everywhere from the 13th Floor Elevators. Oh, there are quieter, gentler JT moments: 2004’s Off Blue and recordings where drum boxes take

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[ shopping spree ]

✚ PUNK ROCK FLEA MARKET There may be fewer Elmer’s Glue-gooped mohawks lining the entrance of Rittenhouse than there were back in high school, but for the people behind Philadelphia’s Punk Rock Flea Market, punk is alive and damn well. This Sunday, R5 Productions will host its biggest market yet, with more than 300 vendors selling everything from rare records to crust-punk clothing patches. It’s a one-stop shop for all things vintage and DIY, featuring local artists like Megg Sweeney of Mechanique Steampunk, whose gadgetinspired jewelry features clock parts re-crafted into cuff links, rings and necklaces. If hundreds of vendors isn’t enough to entertain you, the $3 admission also works at the gigantic record fair across the street at the Starlight Ballroom. —Nina Willbach Sun., May 13, 10 a.m.-5 p.m., $3, Punk Rock Flea Market Dome, 461 N. Ninth St., r5productions.com.

over from live percussionists, as they do on 2010’s Any Stort in a Porm. Mostly, though, JT albums are wiry, live, chaotic affairs with troubling titles like Doomsday Rock that aptly represent the goo-goo-mucked up music and lyrics within.

[ soul/jazz ]

✚ ESPERANZA SPALDING

—A.D. Amorosi Sat., May 12, 9 p.m., $10, with Mount Carmel, Mark Feehan, Endless Boogie and Riff Mountain DJs, Johnny Brenda’s, 1201 N. Frankford Ave., 215739-9684, johnnybrendas.com.

Sweet-voiced double bassist Esperanza Spalding recently released her first album since scoring the coveted Best New Artist Grammy last year. But while the title and cover image

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5.14

Sun., May 13, 8 p.m., $30-$33, Electric Factory, 421 N. Seventh St., 215-6271332, electricfactory.info.

—M.J. Fine

In Kelley Deal’s hands, every move seems casual, every utterance exuberant. The Breeders may be seen as her twin sister Kim’s band, but they didn’t take off until Kelley joined as lead guitarist — complete lack of experience be damned. The Kelley Deal 6000’s two mid-’90s albums are pure slacker charm, and The Last Hard Men were arguably their era’s great lost supergroup. R. Ring, Deal’s new duo with Ampline’s Mike Montgomery, has posted only a handful of tracks — good luck finding their Record Store Day single, which was limited to 50 copies — but even in slow, acoustic tunes like “Scary” and “Hundred Dollar Heat,” Deal’s mellow joy comes through loud and clear. When Montgomery takes the lead for “Steam,” R.

Mon., May 14, 8 p.m., $8, with Boog, North Star Bar, 2639 Poplar St., 215787-0488, northstarbar.com.

[ reading ]

✚ ROBERT CARO In his series of books about Lyndon Baines Johnson, Robert Caro writes with the tender soul of a poet and the raging heart of a political lion. The investigative journalist takes LBJ’s tale from a Texas boyhood dashed by his father’s financial decay to his lone elected term as president with the Vietnam War and the Civil Rights movement looming, a cinematic story worthy of Dos Passos’ U.S.A. The fourth volume, The Passage of Power, starts in 1958 with the tall Texan in full swing as the Master of the Senate, a majority leader with his eyes on the presidency — not so much on the young playboy he would eventually

food | classifieds

—Josh Middleton

Ring sounds considerably sadder but no less compelling.

[ rock/pop ]

✚ R. RING

living rooms of grown folk. Highlights include opening number “Radio Song,” an upbeat track sprinkled with windchimes, bursts of funkedup bass and a peppy horn section; “Black Gold,” a neosoul-leaning duet with R&B chanteuse Algebra Blessett; and a jazzy take on Michael Jackson’s “I Can’t Help It,” in which she recalls a late-’70s Minnie Riperton. Let’s chant for that one on Sunday.

[ the agenda ]

the agenda

SANDRINE LEE

MONDAY

the naked city | feature | a&e

of her perched on a boombox may suggest she’s shifted her focus to more airwave-friendly tunes, Radio Music Society (Heads Up) is a slick soul-jazz affair that breezes past the Top 40 crowd to nestle in the

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share a ticket with and succeed. It ends in 1964, with Johnson stepping up into a very difficult situation after the Kennedy assassination. In between, we see Johnson trade his political power in the Senate for a second-banana job at the White House, his famously nasty feud with Bobby Kennedy and his fight to force the Civil Rights Act through a gridlocked Congress. Riveting stuff. —A.D. Amorosi Mon., May 14, 7:30 p.m., $7-$15, Free Library, Central Branch, 1901 Vine St., 215-686-5322, freelibrary.org.

[ jazz ]

✚ CHICAGO UNDERGROUND DUO

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Cornetist Rob Mazurek and drummer Chad Taylor have been performing together for 15 years in a variety of contexts. Their city of origin and their underground stature have remained consistent, but they’ve expanded from a trio to an orchestra and virtually all points between. The Chicago Underground Duo finds the pair in their most elemental form, but that’s not to suggest that

their palette is limited; both supplement their acoustic axes with a variety of electronics. “Winds Sweeping Pines,” the nearly 20-minute track that opens their latest CD, Age of Energy, begins with a nebulous swirl of digital textures and ethereal voices. Taylor’s drumkit makes its entrance at the fiveminute mark, Mazurek’s horn not till 10 minutes later. The duo allow their individual voices to dissolve into dense textures, heady fogs of sonic possibility. —Shaun Brady Mon., May 14, 8 p.m., $15, with Congs for Brums, Philadelphia Art Alliance, 251 S. 18th St., arsnovaworkshop.org.

[ classical ]

✚ 1807 AND FRIENDS Traditionally, the end of the musical season is marked by a return to the crowd-pleasers, and in the world of chamber music, there is no juicier chestnut than Schubert’s “Trout Quintet.” The unusual combo of piano, violin, viola, cello and double bass was a serendipitous ensemble for another composer that the little genius

[ the agenda ]

from Vienna came across in 1819, and the rest is history. This is music that conveys a buoyant joy that immediately appeals to all, but is built with a delicate brilliance that delights the connoisseur. Music by Rossini and Farrenc, too. —Peter Burwasser Mon., May 14, 7:30 p.m., $17, Academy of Vocal Arts, 1920 Spruce St., 215438-4027, 1807friends.org, RSVP to frnd1807@verizon.net.

TUESDAY

5.15 [ lecture/politics ]

✚ JOSE VARGAS Journalist Jose Vargas, keynote speaker at the ACLU’s yearly chapter meeting, began his career as an intern at the Philadelphia Daily News, where he covered Allen Iverson’s wed-

sexytime

³ HANDIWORK

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“You’ll go blind!” “You’ll go to hell!” “Your palms’ll get hairy!” You’ve probably been given plenty of reasons not to do it, but in honor of National Masturbation Month, Passional is providing the confidence boost you need to keep on pleasuring yourself. Females interested in upping their orgasmic experience will enjoy Kali Morgan’s “Intro to the G-Spot and Female Ejaculation” workshop. The owner of Passional and former dominatrix will provide a treasure map of the female body, giving participating girlies the expertise needed to hit all the right spots. If you’re already an expert on your erogenous zones but want a few additions to your boudoir tool box, Andrea Renae will teach about the best sex toys in “Dancing with Myself: Female Masturbation 101.” But the ladies aren’t the only ones who could use the extra schooling. Believe it or not, even dudes need a little guidance when it comes to the art of self-love. Aphrodite Gallery coordinator Eric Zonk will give guys the 4-1-1 on new techniques that’ll take spanking the monkey to a full-grown gorilla in “Male Masturbation 101.” Once you have the front parts covered, there’s a class at the end of the month geared toward those willing to venture around back. “Please that Booty, Cutie: Anal for Beginners” will give you the tips, techniques and courage to add your rear to your jerking-off repertoire. And don’t worry, there’ll be no need to take a razor to your palms when you’re done. May 10-26, various times, $30, Sexploratorium, 620 S. Fifth St., third floor, 215-849-7444, passion101classes.com. (megan.augustin@citypaper.net )

the agenda

CELESTE GIULIANO

Meg Augustin gets our rocks off

the naked city | feature | a&e

[ the agenda ]

Meg Augustin is a freelance journalist with a master’s in human sexuality education.

G E R R Y S A LVA C R U Z

Undocumented Immigrant” in the New York Times Magazine, made headlines. The piece is an unflinching recounting of growing up, living and working in America as an undocumented immigrant. Vargas’ mother sent him from the Philippines at 12 to live with his grandparents in America in hopes of a better life; he realized his documents were fake when he tried to get a learner’s permit at 16 and spent years hiding his status even as

his career took off. His piece detailed the ethical compromises he’s had to make, from keeping his mouth shut when applying for internships to deportable offenses like getting a fake Social Security card. Vargas says his high-profile comingout was meant “to illuminate a greater universal truth about our broken immigration system” — which it did, at great personal risk. —Courtney Sexton Tue., May 15, 6:30-9:30 p.m., free, National Constitution Center, 525 Arch St., 215-592-1513 x122, aclupa.org.

WEDNESDAY

5.16 [ film/lecture ]

✚ BILL WINE Consider it inevitable: The

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ding. He went on to report for the Washington Post, and was part of the team that received the Pulitzer for their coverage of the Virginia Tech shootings. Recently, though, his own confessional, “My Life as an

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dj

nights

A SELECTIVE GUIDE TO WHAT BANGS IN PHILLY | BY GAIR MARKING, AKA DEV79

W M 1 N/C U V

Weekly Monthly One-off No Charge Breaks Downtempo

h b O A e 9

Drum ’n’ Bass Dubstep/Garage Electro Experimental Funk/Soul Goth/Industrial

G t i s <

Hip-hop House Latin Progressive/ House Reggae

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Rock/Pop Techno Top 40/ Hip-hop/ R&B Trance World

THU., MAY 10

DOWN AND DERBY ROLLER DISCO 1 e y @ The Blockley with DJ Dirty and DJ Royale. This national party series on wheels comes to the City of Brotherly Love, screaming a mantra of “skating, drinking, dancing.” Re-live those gradeschool roller-skate shindigs while rocking out to disco classics and jock jams in the specially converted Blockley space. They’ll have skates available to rent or you can bring your own, so there’s no excuse not to get your roll on. $5-$10.

MON., MAY 14 Q MAD DECENT MONDAYS W b The Barbary

Voyeur

951 Frankford Ave., 215-423-8342

1221 Saint James St., 215-735-5772

The Blockley

Walnut Room Redux

3801 Chestnut St., 215-222-1234

1709 Walnut St., 215-751-0201

M Room

THU., MAY 10

15 W. Girard Ave., 215-739-5577

Q SNACKS W O t y ! @ Voyeur

and Shearn. The good people of Rizumu are back with the seasonopener/Mother’s Day edition of this party, which has indoor and outdoor areas, free.

troubles away to the funky sounds of one of Illvibe Collective’s finest, at this slick Rittenhouse spot, $10.

Q PEX VS PLAYLOOP M t @ Silk

Q THE SOUL PICKLE W t @

City w/Lee Mayjahs? and Everyday. This monthly jam features raging house music so you can spin that ass out of control, $5.

2672 Coral St., 215-425-0413

w/Dave P, Adam Sparkles and Thomzilla. Hit up the downstairs Ruby Lounge for a hyper-rad musical party experience from the creators of Making Time, free.

SAT., MAY 12

Silk City

Q MO MONEY NO PROBLEMS W

Q BLACK SATURDAYS M 9 @

Medusa Lounge

27 S. 21st St., 215-557-1981 O’Reilly’s Pub

435 Spring Garden St., 215-592-8838 Time Restaurant and Lounge

1315 Sansom St., 215-985-4800 Ulana’s

205 Bainbridge St., 215-922-4152 Vango Lounge and Skybar

116 S. 18th St., 215-568-1020

G t y < > @ Silk City w/Sammy

Slice and Cool Hand Luke. Mike Taylor hosts this thick ’n’ juicy weekly party that’ll get you oh-so-swervy, $5.

FRI., MAY 11

Ulana’s w/Knobhead, Chas Paris, Anorexotica and Sir RYG. A new dancefloor thang for the Goth/industrial set, featuring two areas for you to get as dark and brooding as you like, free.

Q THE MAGIC MESSAGE M t

Q SATURDAYS AT WALNUT ROOM

@ Medusa Lounge w/Mike Simonet-

REDUX W O e G y > @ Walnut Room

ti, Tony Modica, Jeffrey Bouchard

Redux w/DJ Statik. Dance your

SUN., MAY 13 O’Reilly’s Pub w/Matthew Kyle, No Headphones, Rudy Kardos and Captain Ridiculous. Get in some basement-rave action and dance to sleazy disco-house sounds, $5. Q FALLOUT SUNDAYS W t @

Vango Lounge and Skybar w/Christian James, Niko & Deep C and DJ Yan. What sexier way to end your week than listening to soulful house on a skydeck lounge? $5. Q SUNDAE PM W t @ Silk City

w/Lee Jones, Dirty and guests. This tried-and-true house soiree offers some of the best end-your-weekend vibes in the city, $5.

O G t < @ M Room w/Dirty South Joe, Uncle Ron, Flufftronix, Tim Dolla, Gun$ Garcia, Qi Command and Yahmean. Start your week with the team that rocks club sounds, global bass and the raw rap attack with surprise guests and all kinds of other goodness, $3.

M A Y 1 0 - M A Y 1 6 , 2 0 1 2 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T

Q NOCTURNE W O 9 y @ Rumor

w/ Jon Gill, Knobhead and more. People of all ages are welcome to rock out at this weekly, featuring ’80s synth-pop, industrial, Goth and alternative hits, $10.

Q TIGERBEATS W y @ Barbary

w/Jhn Rdn, Luis Angel Cancel, Tony Mont and guests. This indie-rock dance party gets moving so you can start off your week with a blast, $3.

WED., MAY 16 Q WORLD FUZION WEDNESDAYS W P @ Time Restaurant and Lounge

w/Ben Arsenal, Mr. Femstar and Jay Criss. The Worldtown and Fresh Fuzion teams have been doing a lot of cool music and art stuff around the city for a minute. Now they’re team-

GRO

38 | P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R |

ing up to present this weekly foray into eclectic international sounds, $5.

UP THERAPY BAR

TAP TAKEOVER

WITH FOUNDERS BREWING CO! LOADS OF FOUNDERS ON TAP! WE’RE EVEN RAFFLING OFF A BOTTLES OF FOUNDERS KENTUCKY BREAKFAST STOUT! PROCEEDS BENEFIT THE PHILLY ROLLER GIRLS.

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citypaper.net ✚ SEND DJ NIGHT TIPS AND LISTINGS TO G A I R 7 9 @ C I T Y P A P E R . N E T.

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THURSDAY 5.10 MO $$ NO PROBLEMS ----------------------------------------FRIDAY 5.11 PEX VS PLAYLOOP LEE MAYJAHS? DJ EVERYDAY ----------------------------------------SATURDAY 5.12 DJ DEEJAY ----------------------------------------SUNDAY 5.13 2ND SUNDAE DANCE COMPETITION ----------------------------------------TUESDAY 5.15 DARIENNE ROSE POLARBEAR LARS MARKET EAST FAST CAR ----------------------------------------FRIDAY 5.11 WORKOUT! DJ s BO BLIZ & LOW BUDGET www.silkcityphilly.com 5th & Spring Garden

509 SOUTH 2nd STREET

Philadelphia’s Hottest Funk Band 8pm-12am 4@72/G #

STUDEBAKER JOHN

Old School Rockin’ Blues From Chicago 9pm-1am A/BC@2/G #

LISA CHAVOUS & THE PHILADELPHIA BLUES MESSENGERS

Rock-Solid Innovative Philadelphia Blues Quintet 9pm-1am AC<2/G # !

OPEN BLUES JAM

With Mikey Junior & Friends 5pm-9pm E32<3A2/G # $

Mikey Junior & the Stone Cold Blues Chicago Blues & West Coast Swing 8pm-12am 6/>>G 6=C@ 4@=; 5:30 to 7:30 Sunday - Thursday 7 DAYS A WEEK. 11AM-2AM

# ##& "% www.thetwistedtail.com

P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R | M A Y 1 0 - M A Y 1 6 , 2 0 1 2 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T | 39

B6C@A2/G #

The Nines Funk Band

a&e | feature | the naked city

lywood hack jobs like What to Expect When You’re Expecting, but at least it will arm audiences with the tools to properly bemoan them. —Michael Gold Wed., May 16, 2 p.m., free, Swarthmore Public Library, 121 Park Ave., Swarthmore, 610-543-0436, swarthmorepubliclibrary.org.

[ jazz ]

✚ CHARLIE HUNTER/ SCOTT AMENDOLA

classifieds | food

the agenda

lights brighten in a packed theater, and within seconds shouts of “The book was better!” ring through the house. The dreadful phrase permeated every screening of The Hunger Games, and with an adaptation-riddled summer slate, expect it to echo for months to come. Yet, as KYW film

critic Bill Wine plans to explain during his lecture series, that criticism is inherently unfair. Armed with heralded adaptations like To Kill a Mockingbird and The Silence of the Lambs (pictured), Wine will explore the fundamental differences of the literary and cinematic experiences. Along the way, he’ll also delve into the darker side of book-to-movie transfers (think Robert Zemeckis’ CGIridden Beowulf) and hear the gripes of adaptation-weary audiences. This won’t stop Hol-

Though his playing still can’t be confined to the usual six strings, Charlie Hunter (pictured) has otherwise been scaling back of late. The seven-

[ the agenda ]

be a duo project with drummer Scott Amendola, who anchored many of Hunter’s bands in the late 1990s. The Bay Area percussionist combines delicate intellect with torrential power, which may explain his steady gig as Nels Cline’s drummer of choice. It also makes him an apt pairing for Hunter, who shifts comfortably between jazz and jam with fret-blazing wit. The pair will premiere music from their upcoming release as well, surely, as doing whatever the hell pops into their minds. —Shaun Brady Wed., May 16, 8:30 p.m., $16-$18, World Café Live, 3025 Walnut St., 215222-1400, philly.worldcafelive.com.

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string guitarist’s last release, Public Domain, was his first solo outing in a decade, mining the collective-consciousness songbook. His next is slated to

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M A Y 1 0 - M A Y 1 6 , 2 0 1 2 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T

Y O U R P R E M I E R M A G A Z I N E F E AT U R I N G E V E R Y T H I N G P H I L LY !

CITY GUIDE highlights Philly’s unique neighborhoods showcasing restaurants, galleries, bars, clubs, boutiques, retail shops, markets, music venues and more! COPIES OF CITY GUIDE WILL BE DISTRIBUTED AT THE FOLLOWING LOCATIONS: •

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PUBLICATION DATE: AUGUST 23 SPACE RESERVATION DEADLINE: JULY 11 FOR MORE INFORMATION CONTACT YOUR ACCOUNT MANAGER OR CALL 215.825.2496

foodanddrink

feedingfrenzy By Drew Lazor

the naked city | feature | a&e | the agenda

f&d

food classifieds

³ NOW SEATING

Pizzeria DiMeo’s| Father/son team Pino and Antimo DiMeo are wielding the peels at this Neapolitan pizza shop in Andorra. The DiMeos take a strict traditionalist approach to crafting their dough, going so far as to import water from Italy to make it. They offer 14 signature pizzas in all, from traditional margherita and marinara to a pie topped with fig spread, burrata and prosciutto. Elsewhere on the menu, you’ll find antipasti, salads and a big selection of pasta dishes, some of which are prepared with high-end dry paccheri from the Giuseppe Afeltra label. They do takeout and delivery. Hours: Mon.-Wed., 10 a.m.-9 p.m.; Thu.-Sat., 10 a.m.-10 p.m.; Sun., 11 a.m.-9 p.m. Andorra Shopping Center, 8500 Henry Ave., 215-621-6134, pizzeriadimeos.com.

Milk & Honey Café | Annie Baum-Stein and Mauro Daigle of Milk & Honey (4435 Baltimore Ave.) just cut the ribbon on a location in Sister Cities Park, across from the Cathedral Basilica of Saints Peter and Paul. More of a breakfast/lunch stop than a shopping destination, the café features sandwiches and salads prepared with local ingredients and Philly brands like La Colombe and Bassett’s. Sister Cities Park, 18th St. and the Ben Franklin Parkway, 215665-8600, milkandhoneymarket.com.

[ review ]

ALLA BOARD Deep-fried, ale-soaked Alla Spina strays far from the familiar Vetri formula. By Adam Erace ALLA SPINA | 1410 Mount Vernon St., 215-600-0017, allaspinaphilly.com. Open Sun.-Thu., 5 p.m.-1 a.m.; Fri.-Sat., 5 p.m.-2 a.m. Snacks, appetizers and salumi, $4-$18; pasta, $14-$16; panini, $8-$14; entrées, $10-$20; desserts, $8-$10.

W

hen I hit the wall at Alla Spina, it was made of pork parts and pastry dough. The pig pot pie at Marc Vetri’s latest restaurant, a graffitied birreria in a former garage on North Broad Street, is something to behold. And behold was really all I could do; what I’d consumed already had turned my stomach into Citizens Bank Park during interleague play. Standing room only, perhaps More on: able to squeeze in a spear of asparagus. However upscaled or Italianized, pig pot pies, poutine and BLTs are not the usual dominion of la Famiglia di Vetri. But that’s exactly what’s emerging from the open kitchen at Alla Spina, where the cooks hoot like hillbillies on the Fourth of July when a customer purchases a $10 “Ode to the Publican,” aka a six-pack for the back of the house. Vetri, no dummy, knows he’s out of his proverbial comfort zone. “We had to work harder on the food and be a lot more creative,” he says. “The french fries alone took a month. We all gained a little weight.” Preach. My scale wasn’t too happy with me, either, after that

citypaper.net

early pass at Alla Spina. Though the forkful of pig pie I managed was delicious, I found most of the food heavy, salty and indulgent — a klutzy, deep-fried grope at fatty-chic. This was in its first few weeks of opening and I was eating at Alla Spina for fun, not for work; I mention it only to illustrate how different the experience was a month later. But first, the constants: impeccably poised service from the staff, whose blue-and-orange uniforms shouldn’t be held against them; staggering crowds, especially at the 20-seat, beer-bottle-terrazzo bar, where thirsty standers treat Alla Spina like Chickie’s & Pete’s, wedging between barstools and waving money like rappers at a strip club; and weird, wonderful Italian beers. Baladin and Del Borgo already a household name in your crib? Beverage director Steve Wildy sees your Italian-craft ennui and raises you Loverbeer (Piedmonte), Collesi (Marche), Piccoli (Liguria) and more. Alla Spina is a fantastic place to drink — unless you like Negronis, which are on tap and as syrupy MORE FOOD AND as Aunt Jemima. DRINK COVERAGE The Red Velvet is a better cocktail, an AT C I T Y P A P E R . N E T / inventive blend of Monk’s sour red, the M E A LT I C K E T. bittersweet Italian orange soda Chinotto and creme de violette. It drank like an aperitif, whetting the appetite for curls of smoky lamb speck, big baked oysters and other edible clues that 26-year-old chef Damon Menapace, formerly Jeff Michaud’s executive sous at Osteria, and his kitchen crew had discovered a newfound groove. And while the menu still feels a bit like it’s pandering to a younger breed of Vetri customer, at least most everything I ate was executed with same sharpness and finesse you’d expect from Vetri, Osteria and Amis. >>> continued on page 42

41

Got A Tip? Please send restaurant news to drew.lazor@ citypaper.net or call 215-735-8444, ext. 218.

NEAL SANTOS

P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R | M A Y 1 0 - M A Y 1 6 , 2 0 1 2 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T |

Café Chismosa | NoLibs’ Almanac has been converted by Jugo Stevcic into Chismosa, a café/coffee shop named for the Spanish slang for a prolific female smack-talker. Stevcic is running Chismosa as a café in the a.m., with eggy sandwiches/dishes, seasonal scones and One Village Coffee. By lunch/ dinner, it becomes a Latin-inspired BYO operation, with tortas (the “El Cerdo,” with carnitas, Granny Smith apple, queso blanco and an apple/lemon gravy for dipping), quesadillas and simple ceviches. Hours: Tue.-Sat., 8 a.m.-8 p.m.; Sun., 9 a.m.-3 p.m.; closed Mon. 900 N. Fourth St., 267-273-1448.

BEER MUNCHIES: Alla Spina’s drinker-friendly menu includes highlights like lamb speck, roasted oysters and poutine smothered in guinea hen Bolognese.

ULTIMATE SUMMER FUN GUIDE PUBLICATION DATE: MAY 24 AD DEADLINE: MAY 18 A comprehensive calendar that features a daily “must-do” activity through September 21 (the official end of summer), the Ultimate Summer Fun Guide is THE SUMMER PLANNING HANDBOOK for Philadelphia’s savviest citizens. Because of its four-month shelf life, advertising in City Paper’s Ultimate summer Fun Guide is a cost-effective and efficient way for you to make a big splash with your message, product, ser vice or event. Don’t miss out on this special marketing opportunity. Contact your City Paper Account Manager today by calling 215.825.2496 or email adinfo@citypaper.net for more information.

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R E S TA U R A N T

[ the week in eats ]

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food

215-550-5017 1305 N. 5th St. Northern Liberties

the naked city | feature | a&e | the agenda

CafĂŠ Colao

[ food & drink ]

MONDAY

7\Rcab`g <WUVb Â? eW\Ua e 8SaaWQO >0@ >WbQVS` # # Wedge + Fig Beer Garden Blast Thu., May 17, 7-9 p.m., $6 Âł Rebecca Torpie, Kirk Nelson and Lisa Ruff are celebrating the grand opening of their newly renovated outdoor area with the Sixpoint Beer Garden Blast. They’re pairing three cheeses with three beers from the Brooklyn brewery. “Jerseyâ€? Dan Bisogno, Sixpoint’s beer man, is also pouring The Crisp, a pilsner, plus a surprise new beer in addition to the paired-off three. Tickets are a must and can be purchased online (beergardenblast. eventbrite.com) or at the shop. Wedge + Fig, 160 N. Third St., 215-603-3090, wedgeandfig.com. Allagash Takeover at Chestnut 7 Thu., May 10,

4 p.m., pay as you go Âł Join “Beer Lassâ€? Suzy Woods for a special Allagash tap takeover at Chestnut 7. The Chestnut Hill pub is featuring seven Allagash brews: Victor Ale, Victoria Ale, Blonde, Black, Tripel, White and Curieux. The takeover begins at 4 p.m. and goes until the last keg is kicked. In addition to great drink, Chestnut 7 is also featuring food specials and live music. Chestnut 7, 8201 Germantown Ave., 215-247-7777, chestnut7.com.

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East Passyunk Bar Crawl Wed., May 16, 6 p.m., pay

Crosswalk CafĂŠ Preview Wed., May 16, 4-7 p.m., pay

as you go Âł Independence Visitor Center Corp. is hosting a preview of their new outdoor cafĂŠ on Wednesday. Enjoy happy-hour drinks, half-priced sliders, cheese/fruit plates and other appetizers provided by BrĂťlĂŠe Catering. If you can’t make the preview, Crosswalk is kicking off their Thursday Doggie “Yappyâ€? Hour the next day. That pooch-friendly event, in partnership with Doggie Style and Operation Ava, will feature $1 hot dogs, $4 Dogfish Head Ale and $3 domestic bottles. Crosswalk Cafe, 1 N. Independence Mall East, 215-965-2302, independencevisitorcenter.com/crosswalk-cafe.

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—Alexandra Weiss

P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R | M A Y 1 0 - M A Y 1 6 , 2 0 1 2 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T |

as you go Âł As part of Yelp’s “Passport to East Passyunkâ€? event, community manager Michelle Cassidy is hosting a bar crawl. Beginning at the fountain at 11th and Tasker streets, you’ll travel from bar to bar, getting a taste of all that East Passyunk has to offer. Stops include Cantina Los Caballitos, South Philly Bar & Grill and Royal Tavern. The group departs when there is a good number of crawlers at the fountain and lasts as long as you can. East Passyunk Avenue, yelp.com/events/philadelphiaeast-passyunk-avenue-bar-crawl.

the agenda | a&e | feature | the naked city

[ food & drink ]

HOW WE DO IT: The restaurants, bars and markets listed in this section rotate every week and are compiled by City Paper editorial staff. If you have suggestions or corrections,email restaurants@citypaper.net.

✚ AMERICAN

classifieds

food

RITTENHOUSE TAVERN

gracetavern.com

The Art Alliance is now home to Rittenhouse Tavern, a new one from national management company Restaurant Associates. The Tavern’s taking an ambitious upscale-casual approach via chef Nicholas Elmi (late of Le Bec-Fin) and “chef collaborator” Ed Brown, RA’s Michelin-starred senior VP. Dishes like local fluke crudo, rack of Berkshire pork and a Sundaysupper Amish fried chicken spread are complemented by local beers and a big wine list. There’s a handsome outdoor courtyard garden for area al fresco addicts. Open Tue.-Thu., 5-10 p.m.; Fri.-Sat., 5-11 p.m.; Sun., 4:30-9:30 p.m.; brunch served Sat.-Sun., 11 a.m.-3 p.m.; closed Mon. Philadelphia Art Alliance, 251 S. 18th St., 215-732-2412, rittenhousetavern.com.

SOWE BAR & KITCHEN

Nancy Law and Troy Barton are going for a neighborhood-bistro feel at SoWe, with room for around 50 and an accessible comfort-foodstyle menu (pork-belly pastrami sandwich, steak frites, artisan cheese board, etc.) from chef Maureen Stoebenau, who last cooked at Royal Tavern. 918 S. 22nd St., 215-545-5790, sowephilly.com.

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M A Y 1 0 - M A Y 1 6 , 2 0 1 2 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T

SQUARE PEG

Barry Gutin and Larry Cohen (Cuba Libre) have brought Matt Levin into their fray for Square Peg, a restaurant granting the chef the latitude to play with updated interpretations of comfy American diner foods. Levin (Lacroix, Adsum) is doing lighthearted but very hearty plates ranging from fish and chips and cheesesteak pot pie to his signature fried chicken with collards and Kool-Aid-pickled watermelon. Open for lunch Mon.Fri., 11 a.m.-3 p.m.; open for dinner Mon.-Thu., 3-11 p.m.; Fri.-Sat., 3 p.m.-midnight; Sun., 3-10 p.m.; brunch served Sat.-Sun., 10 a.m.-3 p.m. 929 Walnut St., 215-413-3600, squarepegrestaurant.com.

✚ BAR/PUB THE BOILERMAKER

Matt Scheller and Matt and Colleen Swartz of The Farmers’ Cabinet (1113 Walnut St.) have slipped into the space briefly held by Blue Bear Tavern to launch The Boilermaker, specializing in the ever-satisfying beer-and-shot combo. Not just limited to Citywides — though they do pour those — the liquor lineup is bolstered by a selection of artisanal boilermakers (think a St. Somewhere Saison with a shot of Aviation Gin). Twenty-eight beers on tap downstairs, plus 12 more upstairs. This all goes along with chef Steve Forte’s pubby menu, featuring burgers, dogs and handcarved meats roasted in-house. Open daily, 3 p.m.-2 a.m. 216 S. 11th St., 215-922-3427.

LOCAL 44 BOTTLE SHOP

Brendan Hartranft and Leigh Maida have opened a bottle shop attached to their West Philly beer bar, Local 44. Stocking more than 500 varieties of beer in the cold case, the owners have also dedicated a section to rarity-hunting beer geeks, with shelving units stocked with high-end large-format bottles. There are a few seats available in the space to sit around and crack open your purchases, or enjoy a pour off L44’s beer engine, which is routed over to this side of the space for your enjoyment. Open Sun.-Thu., noon-10 p.m.; Fri.-Sat., noon-midnight. 4333 Spruce St., 215-222-CANS, local44beerbar.com.

✚ COOKIES INSOMNIA COOKIES

Insomnia, the fresh-baked cookie chain that’s big on college campuses, now has a location in the heart of Center City. True to its name, the shop specializes in twilight-hours delivery; they’ll swing by with snickerdoodles, double choco chunks or oatmeal raisins between 7 p.m. and 3 a.m. nightly. (Delivery range is between Ninth Street and the Schuylkill east to west and between South and Race streets north to south.) The shop itself is open late, too: Mon.-Fri., 11 a.m.-3 a.m.; Sat.-Sun., noon-3 a.m. 108 S. 16th St., 215-563-7426, insomniacookies.com.

✚ JAPANESE NOM NOM RAMEN

Alan Su is easing his way into Philly noodlery with Nom Nom, his hakata-style ramen-ya in Center City. His shop is offering four styles of soup, all starting with a pork-broth base — shoyu (soy), shio (salt) and two miso varieties, one straight-up and one spicy. Ramen comes garnished with pork belly, bamboo shoots, poached eggs and plenty more; Su’s also doing a small selection of appetizers, like pork buns. Open for lunch Mon.-Fri., 11 a.m.-2:30 p.m.; open for dinner Mon.Thu. and Sun., 5-9 p.m.; Fri.-Sat., 5-10 p.m. 20 S. 18th St., 215-988-0898.

✚ VEGAN HIP CITY VEG

Nicole Marquis is fulfilling the demand for mainstream vegan fast food with Hip City Veg. Steering clear of preachitude, Marquis’ aim is to provide a “100 percent plantbased” experience “familiar to meat eaters.” Her chef, Lauren Hooks, is knocking out a menu with populist appeal — think the “Ziggy” burger, a meatless riff on the Big Mac, and a crispy “chick’n” sandwich. There are also salads, sides and smoothies, all built with local seasonal ingredients. Open daily, 10 a.m.-10 p.m. 127 S. 18th St., 215-278-7605, hipcityveg.com.

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Lovash Restaurant “Philadelphia’s Finest Indian Cuisine�

236-238 South St. Philadelphia, PA

Phone: 215-925-3881 Fax: 215-925-3882

P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R | M A Y 1 0 - M A Y 1 6 , 2 0 1 2 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T | 45

A Taste Of Home Away From Home In Celebration Of Our 11th Year Anniversary We Are Proud To Announce Our New Menu! www.lovashrestaurant.com

food | the agenda | a&e | feature | the naked city classifieds

[ i love you, i hate you ] ANGELS ON THE MOON You fought the good fight. you put up with the bullies, the homophobes and the idiots who asked if you were sure. you won but it wasn’t enough. I’ve been so mad at you. I needed an answer. I don’t anymore. you were tired of fighting. I get it. I wish I could have been enough to keep you here. my brother my sweet baby brother. 26 years isn’t enough time. I miss you everyday but I’m not mad anymore. I love you monkeyboy, I would give anything to hear you laugh one more time.

BEWARE: NOT HAPPY PEOPLE

traces of you through other people...it is crazy I say to myself is that my baby? Then the person turns around and I say to myself...not that isn’t him... I get mad at myself because I want it to be you... I wish you were here so much...I miss your touch that kiss and everything else about you...I want to be around you more than anything....you are keeping me up believe it or not! I can’t wait until we are reunited again!

LISTEN TO YOUR MOUTH Your mouth is moving but you aren’t saying shit out of it...I hate hearing your voice...but ques-

You and I can make it all the way. BillieBabies can get brushed for the rest of her life on your couch of fur balls. I will always love your Jello eatin’, head scratchin, Ebay-in’, hoardin’, never borin’, always snorin’, no smishsmortion, Lebanese Man!!! I love u!

ONE NIGHT STAND Dear Good Time Guy, I love how I go to a bar and there you are. Thank you for being so mysterious sitting there in the corner with your amazing blue eyes that made my panties wet just when you would glance at me from across the bar. Did

Hey hang out at the mall; G@ M.E., ride the bus, local and out of town all day long, They watch your every move, lie on you. they have no life, hate their lives. I SAID NO, STOP HARRASSING ME. I DON’T WANT NOR LIKE YOU. YOU ARE NOT FOR ME. LEAVE PEOPLE ALONE. A PERSON WILL TELL YOU IF THEY WANT TO BE BOTHERED WITH YOU OR NOT. STOP STALKING PEOPLE; LET THE PERSON COME TO YOU ON THEIR TERMS.

FUCKED UP FEET

46 | P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R |

M A Y 1 0 - M A Y 1 6 , 2 0 1 2 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T

Hey girlfriend on the fucking bus...you dumb ass bitch...why would you wear those open toed sandles or whatever and your feet are fucked up! Why not get a pedicure? Pedicures are fun and they feel good and they make your feet feel nice! Then you had the nerve to be on your phone talking all loud....everyone can hear you then your feet just made me and another lady just gag! You have no fucking home training! Get it the fuck together I hope I don’t see you next week!

YOUNG BUT OLD I know that people can’t help what they look like sometimes...you look so old to me you remind me of a grandmom or something...get your hair down...get some contacts and live alittle...I am tired of seeing you I just wanna do a ambush makeover and make you look alittle better than what you do! I want you to know that I am here for you...and since you are young...make the best out of it...try to do a upgrade on yourself...trust me it works!

I AM GOING TO FIX YOU!

I can’t keep you off my mind and it is giving me a headache...I really wish that I could hold and kiss you and just feel you next to me! My anxiety is kicking in and I don’t like it! I feel like I am trapped in a box with no way out and you are the only one that can save me! I love you Moody and I can’t wait to happy many more opportunities to show you! You and I forever...that is what I keep writing! I love you dearly!

I SEE YOU ALOT Even though you aren’t around I keep seeing

I am so fucking tired of seeing your ugly, smelling face I just want you to go sit the fuck down somewhere anywhere besides fucking with me...I hate you then you wanna keep complaining about things...why don’t you just suck it the fuck up like everyone else and deal with it! I am tired of listening to your shit! Don’t you think that I have my own concerns right now...everything is not going the way that I want it to go either and you don’t hear me complaining especially to you! Sit down shut up and deal with your own living hell!

I was told that you get public assistance because you can’t breathe...that doesn’t make any sense to me because you are fat doesn’t mean that you can’t work...didn’t it make sense to try to loose weight.. it makes no sense to me then you are depending on my future husband to take care of your fat ass. You stupid bitch...I hate you for trying to tear my man down...I hate you for being who you are... I also hate you for not moving on with you life! Nobody wants you around...don’t you know that... why don’t you just stay away from my family...and everything would be fine...don’t let me catch your fat ass...there is definitely going to be hell to pay if I do catch you!

I miss the way that you body was hot and you just laid next to me believe it or not heating me up and making me feel real good and comfortable. I love the way you make my body feel so wanted so sexy so inviting! I miss the touch that you put on my body! I miss the way that you would curl yourself up underneath me and I would feel so secure! I can’t wait to get that back! I miss you terribably babes!

I HAVE BEEN..

YOU ARE NOISY

YOU FAT BITCH!

BODY HEAT

You stupid bitch...you think that you got off scott free but you didn’t...things always come back bitch...I am telling you what I am going to do to you I am going to take the paper to your landlord and find out exactly where you live and show the landlord that you are a fucking hoe! I am going to attach a letter and tell her all those places that you are and to tell her to throw you the fuck out! I will have the last laugh...think this is a game! You picked the wrong one!

seem a little different to me is it because I had a baby? I am not understanding what it is about... your attitude...then I find you asking me the same question over and over about my boyfriend. Didn’t I answer you the first time? Wasn’t that answer good enough for you? I don’t understand your way of thinking...you need to chill for a little bit and let me do my thing! You say you have my back... prove it!

YOUR MANY BLESSINGS!

tion are you thinking about what you are saying.. I think you not! Stop telling me that bitch is my friend she is not my friend nor will her and I ever be friends again...if it was meant it was meant... I can’t believe at some point you got everyone to agree with you to squash the situation, hello clue the fucking situation is already taken care of! I am just going to leave that situation alone! Stop bringing the shit up already ok...that is going to make me put my hands on you and I don’t want to do that just yet!

I even need to know your name? Hell no, I like a little mystery. I love how you fed me drinks as we talked the night away. I loved how you took me home and all our clothes and drinks dropped to the floor as you brought out my inner freak. I love how you talked sweet nothings to me all night as I screamed whatever I thought your name was in ecstasy. What the fuck was your name? Oh hell, who cares? I love how I made you think I would never leave then I creeped out as you drifted into sleep. Love, “ Whatever fake name I gave you”

OMG RAMI

OUR RELATIONSHIP

OMG! Babez we made it! Two years strong and more to come. Wow Rami...I knew we’d get here, but we had some trying times. It’s ok Pee Boner!

You are my Dad right? I just hope that you are... seems like you and I have something that you need to tell me...first I love you...and honestly you

Hey lovely, up in heaven...I miss and love you... good news...I finished my book and it should be on sale soon somewhere...but I wanted to thank you for the many blessings that you have given me from heaven...I know it is you behind God assisting him in his many works...I will always be your daughter...you will always be my mom...I appreciate everything...I mean everything...until I see you again...I love you so much my Oomie...and thank you again for all the many blessings.

✚ To place your FREE ad (100-word limit), go to citypaper.net and click on the LOVE/HATE tab near the top of the page. ADS ALSO APPEAR AT CITYPAPER.NET/lovehate. City Paper has the right to re-publish “I Love You, I Hate You”™ ads at the publisher’s discretion. This includes re-purposing the ads for online publication, or for any other ancillary publishing projects.

Are you pregnant? A childless married couple seeks to ADOPT. Financial security. Expenses paid. Call Christine & Norbert. Ask for Michelle/ Adam 1-800-790-5260. ADOPTION

PREGNANT? CONSIDERING ADOPTION? Talk with caring agency specializing in matching Birthmothers with Families nationwide. LIVING EXPENSES PAID. Call 24/7 Abby’s One True Gift Adoptions 866-413-6293.

Public Notices begin here-Become an Aviation Maintenance Tech. FAA approved training. Financial aid if qualified-Housing available. Job placement assistance. CALL Aviation Institute of Maintenance 888834-9715. EARN COLLEGE DEGREE ONLINE

*Medical, *Business, *Criminal Justice, Job placement assistance. Computer available. Financial Aid if qualified. SCHEV Certified. Call 888-220-3984. www.CenturaOnline.com SAWMILLS

SAWMILLS from only $3,997MAKE MONEY & SAVE MONEY with your own bandmill-Cut lumber any dimension. In stock ready to ship. FREE info & DVD: www.norwoodsawmills. com/300N 1-800-578-1363 Ext. 300N. WANTED TO BUY

WANTED UNEXPIRED DIABETIC TEST STRIPS: Up to $26.00/Box. PRE-PAID SHIPPING LABELS. Hablamo Espanol. 1-800-266-0702 www. SellDiabeticStrips.com

Automotive Marketplace CASH FOR CARS

ANY CAR/Truck. Running or Not! Top Dollar Paid. We Come to You! Call for Instant Offer. 1-888-420-3808 www. cash4car.com REMOVE JUNK CARS

Business Services COMMERCIAL MORTGAGES

Fast,flexible,funding solutions. Call MCG 1-888-258-0658. Visit www.mcgfinancing.net.

Help Wanted

Home Services

HELP WANTED

MOVING & STORAGE

Over 18? A can’t miss limited opportunity to travel with a successful young business group. Paid training. Transportation/lodging provided. Unlimited income potential. Call 1-877-646-5050.

Superior Moving & Storage, Inc. 215-335-5500. The Lowest Rates! In businees over thirty years. We move everywhere! Licensed, Bonded, & Insured. www.superiormovinginc.com

HELP WANTED DRIVER

Health Services

Class-A Team Drivers-Dedicated runs to Mor ton, IL. $1,000/week. $500 Sign On Bonus. Home Weekly. Consistent Miles/Freight. Day one medical. 866-331-3335. www. drivecrst.com HELP WANTED DRIVER

Drivers- CDL-A. TEAM with TOTAL! *MILES *EQUIPMENT * BENEFITS $.50/MILE FOR HAZMAT TEAMS. SOLO DRIVERS ALSO NEEDED! 800-942-2104 Ext. 7307 or 7308 www.Drive4Total.com HELP WANTED DRIVER

Drivers-Knight Offers Hometime Choices: Express lanes, 7/ON-7/OFF, 14/ON-7/OFF, WEEKLY. Full and Part Time. Daily Pay! CDL-A, 3 months recent experience required. 800-414-9569 www.driveknight.com HELP WANTED DRIVER

D r i ve r s : S i g n O n B o nu s $2000-$7500. Solo Teams. 1 year OTR. CDL-A Hazmat Up to .513 877-628-3748 www. driverNCTrans.com HELP WANTED DRIVER

NEW TO TRUCKING? Your new career starts now! *$0 Tuition Cost *No Credit Check *Great Pay & Benefits. Short employment commitment required. Call: (866) 447-0377 www.joinCRST.com HELP WANTED SALES

Combined Insurance is looking for agent and sales management candidates. New agent Training. Subsidy Bonus Program, training, benefits, leads. Contact Rebecca at 412-443-8376. EOE HELP WANTED!!!

Make money Mailing brochures from home! FREE Supplies! Helping HomeWorkers since 2001! Genuine Opportunity! No experience required. Start immediately! www.theworkhub.net $$$HELP WANTED$$$

Extra Income! Assembling CD cases from Home! No Experience Necessary! Call our Live Operator Now! 1-800-4057619 Ext. 2450 http://www. easywork-greatpay.com

Situations Wanted

Studio Apt, Desk Attendant, HW Flrs, Updated Kitchen, Onsite Laundry, Intercom Entry, Amazing Location! From $990/Mo. 215-735-8030. Lic #219789. ?? GOT BED BUGS ??

All areas - Best rates! 267994-4815 www.deadbedbug.info OLD CITY

BEST PRICES VIAGRA?

Tired of paying outrageous prices for Viagra? Best prices huge discounts Viagra 40 pills $99.00 Get Viagra for less than $3 per pill. Call NOW 866949-3589.

Roommate Wanted. 2 bdrm, avail. 7/1. $785/m. 1500 sq. ft., 2.5 bath, W/D, GD, CA, WW, storage, rooftop, par tially furnished. No pets. Call 267231-8020

One Bedroom

Homes for Sale UPENN

4 bdrm 2 full bath. Rent with option to buy. Modern kitchen w/ fireplace. $1,350/m negotiable. $20,000 down you can buy this house, FHA financing. Call 301-534-8633

No door to door, ISR, contact Lynette (267)-531-5254. Earn extra MONEY today!!!

ME

Land/ Lots for Sale LAND FOR SALE

Upstate NY Land Sale “Sportman Bargain” 3 acres w/cozy cabin, Close access to Oneida Lake -$75,995. “Large River” over 900 ft. 18 acres along fishing/swimming river -$49,995. “Timberland Investment” -90 acres deer sanctuary, beautiful timber studs, small creaek -$99,995. Over 100 new properties. Call 800-229-7843 Or visit landandcamps.com

Resort/ Vacation Property for Sale VACATION RENTALS

OCEAN CITY, MARYLAND. Best selection of affordable rentals. Full/partial weeks. Call for FREE brochure. Open daily. Holiday Real Estate. 1-800638-2102 Online reservations: www.holidayoc.com.

Apartments for Rent 15TH/SPRUCE:

Large 1BD in sought after location. Beautiful art-deco details, Front Desk Attendant, HW Flrs, Onsite Laundry, New Kitchens Avail, Wonderful City Views. From $1130/mo. 215735-8030. Lic #219789. 15TH/SPRUCE:

Large/Bright 2B in Historic Brownstone. HW Flrs, Decorative Fireplace, Lrg Closets, High Ceilings, Lrg Windows. Onsite Laundry, Intercom Entry. Avail July. $1550/mo. 215735-8030. Lic #380139

Lrg 1BD in Beautiful Brownstone Seconds to the Square, Renovated Kitchen w/ Breakfast Bar, New Bathrm, HW Flrs, Hi Ceilings, A/C, Intercom Entry. $1295/Mo. Avail August. 215-735-8030. lic# 216850

T

Homes HOME ON HISTORIC BLOCK!

22XX Madison Square. 3Bd/1.5Ba on stunning block in Grad Hosp Area. ($2,000 + utilities) Avail for 1-Yr lease on 7/1/12. NON-SMOKERS ONLY! For info email: madsquarerent@gmail.com

STEWIE!

Roommates ALL AREAS-ROOMATES. COM

Browse hundreds of online listings with photos and maps. Find your roommate with a click of the mouse! Visit: http:// www.Roommates.com.

2-YEAR-OLD BOXER/TERRIER MIX I’m looking for love. My first owners surrendered me because they were moving, so now I’m at PAWS looking for a new home. I’m an active, fun-loving boy who’d make a great buddy for older kids. I’m also an excellent running and hiking partner! I walk well on a leash and I’m already housebroken.

Located on the corner of 2nd and Arch.

All PAWS animals are spayed/neutered, vaccinated, and microchipped before adoption. For more information, call 215-238-9901 ext. 30 or email adoptions@phillypaws.org

Rental Wanted APARTMENT WANTED FOR MYSELF!

I am currently looking in Center City a one or two bedroom 1st floor front or Rent vacant unit rented. 2 months down. Older male. Ask for Frank 267-918-0516.

THE HISTORIC

LENNOX APARTMENTS

Vacation/ Seasonal Rental BRIGANTINE

2 bdrm, Pets OK, fenced yard. Available 5/25-5/29- $575. 6/3-6/17 $1400. July/August $1350/week. www.BrigB.com Call 856-217-0025 MARGATE PARKWAY

Spacious 3 bdrm, 2 bth apartment. CA, W/D, outdoor shower, walk to beach, seasonal or split. Call 856-429-0112

• SPACIOUS STUDIOS AND ONE BEDROOM UNITS

JOB WANTED LOOK!!! BUY OR SELL AVON!

ADOP

RITTENHOUSE SQUARE

I am looking for work...I am a General Helper that can do anything. You name it.... reliable dependable morn-

• BEAUTIFUL APARTMENTS WITH NEW KITCHENS AND BATHROOMS • HARDWOOD FLOORS AND NEW APPLIANCES • MINUTES FROM CHESTNUT HILL AND CENTER CITY

@2?C602@

• TWO BLOCKS FROM SEPTA’S TULPEHOCKEN STATION • LAUNDRY ON SITE • FRIENDLY ON SITE MANAGEMENT AND MAINTENANCE STAFF

Torchia & Associates

CONCIERGE LEGAL SERVICES GENERAL PRACTICE – ESTATE & TAX PLANNING GENTLY MOVING YOUR EARTHLY POSSESSIONS

215.670.9535

WWW.MAMBOMOVERS.COM

1420 Walnut Street, Suite 1216 215-546-1950; watorchia@gmail.com www.generallawfirm.com

Prices Starting at: Studios $595 and One Bedrooms $695 232-242 W. Walnut Lane, Philadelphia, PA 19144 www.thelennoxapartments.com

(267) 297-7123

P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R | M A Y 1 0 - M A Y 1 6 , 2 0 1 2 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T | 53

We buy junk cars/trucks. $350 cash paid, guaranteed. Free towing, same day pick up. 215809-3855

up to 90% in commission. Could make $2,500/m+. Call for interview-267-295-4701

15TH/SPRUCE: BEAUTIFUL ART DECO HIGH-RISE

classifieds

AIRLINE CAREERS

ing person. Frank 267-9180516.

PHOTO BY NEAL SANTOS

ADOPTION

CUSTOMER SERVICE REPS

the naked city | feature | a&e | the agenda | food

Adoptions

food | the agenda | a&e | feature | the naked city classifieds

merchandise market Cash for Comics: 1940-1970’s Collectors Welcome. 215-510-4372

high beams (4) exc cond, 39ftx21"x 8.25" flange, 1.5" thick $3800. 856-364-3233

Hoist H210 Multi-Station Gym; Excel lent Cond. $700 (215)672-7653.

2012 Hot Tub/Spa. Brand New! 6 person w/lounger, Cover. Factory warranty. Never installed! Beautiful. Cost $6,000. Ask $2,500. Will deliver. 610-952-0033

BUYING EAGLES SBL’s & TICKETS

CALL 215-669-1924

BRAZILIAN FLOORING 3/4", beautiful, $2.75 sf (215) 365-5826 CABINETS SOLID MAPLE Brand new soft close/dovetail. Fits 10’x10’ kitchen. More cabinets if needed. Cost $6,400. Sell $1,595. 610-952-0033 Pinball machines, shuffle bowling alleys. Will barter for new carpeting tntquality@aol.com 215.783.0823

TWO Phillies tickets, Hall of Fame private club seats, May 7, 9, 14, 21 and others avail, $85 per ticket. 570-906-9978

Bedroom set 6 pc. Cherry Brand new, in box $499. 215-752-0911

54 | P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R |

M A Y 1 0 - M A Y 1 6 , 2 0 1 2 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T

NEW MATTRESS Sets $125, Twin, Full Queen (in plastic) delivery (215)307-1950

Black rosary beads in a maroon zippered pouch. $50 reward. Lost at U of P Hospital Oncology Center. Call 609-929-1016

personals Looking for people who have done business with Spring My Ride or have purchased a car from Kyree Shaw of Phila. Please call me at 215-609-9514

jobs

33&45 RECORDS HIGHER $ REALLY PAID

** Bob 610-532-9408 ***

33 & 45 Records Absolute Higher $

BD a Memory Foam Mattress/BoxsprIng Brand New Queen cost $1400, sell $299; King cost $1700 sell $399. 610-952-0033

JUNK CARS WANTED Up to $300 for Junk Cars 215-888-8662 Lionel/Am Flyer/Trains/Hot Whls $$$$ Aurora TJet/AFX Toy Cars 215-396-1903 SAXOPHONES, WWII, SWORDS, related items, Lenny3619@aol 609.581.8290

* * * 215-200-0902 * * *

Books -Trains -Magazines -Toys Dolls - Model Kits 610-689-8476

Coins, Currency, Gold, Toys,

Trains, Hummels, Sports Cards. Call the Local Higher Buyer, 7 Dys/Wk

P/T Housekeeper/Nanny Horsham, PA. No smoking/alcohol. 862-926-7869

jobs wanted

Dr. Sonnheim, 856-981-3397

DIABETIC TEST STRIPS NEEDED- cash paid, local pickup. Call Faith 856.882.9015 Diabetic Test Strips needed pay up to $15/box. Most brands. Call 610-453-2525

Caregiver/Companion -- Exp’d & Caring woman desires position 484-213 -9636

apartment marketplace Waterfront Square 2br/2.5ba Condo $2750+utils. 15th floor w/ balcony, s/s appl’s, w/d, view Ben Franklin bridge, free valet parking, gym, pool, hot tub, 24 hr security, cats/dogs ok. (302)559-3452

40th & Cambridge 2br $645/mo. free utils, Call or text Scott 215-222-2435 47th & Walnut Large Studios and 1bedrooms, starting at $545/mo, Summer Move-In Special! Qualifying applicants pay Security and 1st Month, receive 3/mo free parking, and $100 Fresh Grocer gift card. Building has updated bathrooms/ kitchens plus on-site parking, laundry, and security. 50th & Girard Efficiency $400 & 1br $475 +utils & 2mo. sec., 856-627-7687 53xx Master St. 1Br $575+utils lovely modern, 2 mo sec. 215-748-3327 54xx Media St complete 2Br $600 2nd flr, fresh paint,Sec 8 OK 215.416.5862 56th & Market 2BR $600 2 mo. sec., credit check. 856-258-5237 56th & Spruce 3BR Must see! Call 215-885-1700

57xx W Girard Ave 2br $650+utils spacious, $1950 move in, 267-251-7844 5xx N 58th 1br $650+utils 3rd floor, section 8 ok. 215-868-0481

everything pets pets/livestock Please be aware Possession of exotic/wild animals may be restricted in some areas.

Ragdoll Kittens: Beautiful, guaranteed, home raised. Call 610-731-0907 Scottish Fold Kittens, males/females, very cute, 8 weeks. (267) 246-9705

Akita: AKC puppies, Born 3/7/12 health guar. Show quality. (856)368-9123

ALAPAHA (Blue Blood Bulldogs) Pups, rare breed, 1 male, 7 fem., multi colors, $1000. (302)834-4810 or (302)379-1868 BULL MASTIFF puppies, AKC registered, 3 Females. $1300 firm. 856-875-8486

Cane Corso pups, reg, vet check, M&F, blue/fawn $800-900. 215-360-4727 Chihuahua puppies, 2 months old, 2 M, 1 F, $300. 215-425-1897 COLLIES - smart, loving, AKC, show groomed. Top eye exam. (856)825-4856 German Shepherd 9 wk pups M/F 1st shots Health guar $800 609-858-1807 German Shepherd Dog 9 wk pups M/F 1st shts Health guar $800 609-858-1807 German Shepherd Dog puppies parents on premises with papers 267 977 3491 German Shepherd pups, ACA, 7 M & 2 F, shots, wormed, family raised, cute, $700 F, $800 M, 1 blk, M $900. (717)529-5560 German Shep Pups: Large Boned. Parents on prem. Good w/kids. www.jolindys.com. 410-957-1279.

Golden Doodle Pups, home raised by exp. breeder, 610.322.0576, 610.544.2719 Golden Doodles, 4 males, 3 fem’s, make great pets. Call to reserve. (717)989-4002

Great Dane Puppies: AKC Fawn and Brindle colored $1200.00. Parents on premises. 302-764-3184 /302-379-3423 Great Dane pups AKC, fawn, blk masks, parents on site $700. 302-266-0934

HAVANESE PUPPIES AKC, home raised. Call 262-993-0460 or online at www.noahslittleark.com Labradoodle F1b Std Pups - Health Guarantees. Born 1/27, Cream nonshedding, Yellow & Parti 3 boys $800$900. call 610-932-0117 LABRADOR PUPS- Ready 4/10/12, AKC, yellow and black, M-F’s, $500, Call 609-685-1723 Labs Pups, AKC yellows, repeat breeding, ready May 4th, $500. (856)299-0377 Pit Bull Pups 16 weeks $300, parents on premises. NE Phila. 215-668-7051 PITBULL Pups, M/F, 9 weeks, ADBA, black, S/W, $400. 215-834-1247 PITBULL PUPS UKC: 3 Males, $600 13 weeks old, Call 215-301-8874

Poodle, mini puppies, AKC, champion pedigree, paper trained, ready to brighten your life, Call after 4pm weekdays, anytime weekends, Call (215)741-6022 Rottweiler Puppies $895 717-278-4127

ROTTWEILER pups, ACA, farm/family raised, shots, wormed, available now $700. No Sunday Sales 717-821-0655 Shetlend Sheep Dogs puppies, AKC, 1 female, 2 males, $400. (717)314-2796 SHIH-TZU Pups 2 Blk/white females Very friendly! $525. 717 336-4398 St. Bernard AKC Puppies $1000 3 Females 2 males. family raised Parents on Prem. 1st shots/ vet exam, call 856-4515920 ask for Sam Wire Hair Fox Terrier Pups, AKC, smart, non shed, shots, vet chkd. 434-349-3328 YORKIPOO PUPPIES Vet chk, shots, ready now. $525. (717) 336-4398 lgarman@emypeople.net

60th & Landsdowne 1br $550+utils newly renovated, (215) 747-8150 61xx Locust 2BR $625+elec/gas 2nd flr, EIK, 2 mo. sec. 267-496-0730 902 N 41st St. 1br $600/mo. lrg, 2nd flr, 1st mo rent+ sec 215.292.4145 W. Phila 3 & 4 br Bi-Levels Avail Now Move in Special! 215-386-4791 or 4792

1xx W Maplewood Ave 1br $595 +elec nr trans/shops, N/S pref. 267-240-2474 4941 Rubicam St. Big 2Br & 3Br porch, backyard, quiet. 215.833.4297 50xx Newhall St 1BR $650+elec 1st, last, sec., refs., 3rd flr., W/W carpets, modern EIK, rear private entry, newly refurbished. Call 215-849-3994 5220 Wayne Ave. Studio & 1 BR on site lndry, 215-744-9077, Lic# 507568

Overbrook Park 2Br $750 A/C, newly remodeled, clean & nice. Call 215-266-4471 Various 1 & 2 BR Apts $725-$875 www.perutoproperties.com 215.740.4900

Balwynne Park 2BR W/D, C/A, W/W. Call 484-351-8633

25xx N 18th St. 2BR $400+ utils Call Gene for appointment, 215-525-6315

Near Girard College 2 BR/1 BA $875 1st floor, newly renovated, hardwood flrs. Voucher Programs OK. 215-669-7813.

1,2, 3, 4 Bedroom FURNISHED APTS LAUNDRY-PARKING 215-223-7000 21xx N. Darien 3Br/1Ba W/D, rear yard, updated kitchen & bath, Sec 8 approved. 215-783-0328

11th & Wyoming 1BR $575+utils newly renovated, front porch, back yard, nice basement, (215)276-1097 CAMAC ST. 2BR $575 2nd floor, 4 rooms, carpet & window treatments, back yard, (267)608-0182 Logan 2BR $745 1st flr, sect 8 ok. 267-819-6148

1xx W. Olney Ave. 1br $595+util beautiful, carpeted, Call 215-805-6455 2ND/ASHDALE 1BR $575 appls incl, nr trans & shops 215-767-0046 3xx E Olney Ave 2br $725+ 1st flr, clean, 1st,last & sec. 215-919-0859 5729-31 N. 3rd St. 1BR/1BA $585 Upper Olney - New carpets/appliances; 24 hour security. $585 incl. heat & water. 215-914-0859 60XX Warnock 1 BR $595+ near Fernrock Train Station,215-276-8534

DOMINO LN 1 & 2 BR $725-$875 Renovated, parking, d/w, near shopping & dining, FIRST MONTH FREE 215-500-7808

1xx W. Sharpnack 1BR $700+utils 2nd flr, great location, newly renov., heat incl., no pets. Call 215-549-9181 Mt. Pleasant 1br $700+utils 1st flr, renov, $1400 move in 215.472.6147

17xx Conlyn 1br $650+elec 2nd floor of duplex, near subway, fresh paint, hardwood floors, 215-370-6547 BROAD & GODFREY 2BR $800 large apt, w/d, off st parking, newly renov, private storage, Call 215-350-7861 Broad Oaks 1BR & 2BR Lndry rm. Special Discount! 215-681-1723

28xx Frankford Ave. 1Br apts near Lehigh. Call 215-688-3689

30xx Frankford 1BR $550+utils. fresh paint, 1 mo sec + 1 mo 267.205.3238

home improvement I am offering a house cleaning with yearly experience.YOUR WILL SHINE EVERY VISIT!!! want to have a clean house call Aneta :267 261 4593.

1 BR & 2 BR Apts $715-$835 spacious, great loc., upgraded, heat incl, PHA vouchers accepted 215-966-9371

service HOME If you please

Bargain Moving, Junk Removal & Carpet Cleaning, Floors, Handyman 267.243.2737

4645 Penn St. 1BR $625. newly renov gas/wtr inc 215-781-8072

Cottman & Blvd 2BR/1BA Very pvt, lovely duplex. 609-476-3942 Juniata 40xx Ormond 3br 1ba $850 Sec. 8 welcome, gar., hdwd flrs., no pets. Call 215-603-0509 Mayfair area 1br $700 New appls, well cared for. 215-205-3645

Upper Darby 7300 Marshall Rd 3br $850+ 2nd floor, Call (215)264-2340

Pottstown 2BR/ 1BA $750 new cpt,W/D in unit,Caitlan 917.406.2868 Willow Grove efficiency $560+utils 1st floor, avail now. Call 610-710-1986

MOUNT AIRY Newly renovated, 2 rooms Veterans welcome. 267-595-5792 Mt Airy, 61xx Chew Ave, Univ City, 2xx Melville, $85-$125/wk, 215-242-9124 Nicetown 4535 N. Mole St. $125/wk, access to entire house, (215)760-0206 N. Philly Room for Rent - Clean & furnished, comm. kit, all utils incl, easy access transp. $500/mo. 267-809-3809

17XX S. Ringgold 3BR/1BA Row $695 Sec. 8 OK. New Kitchen. Some Pets OK. 215-228-1060 2018 S Norwood 3br/1ba $750 new kitchen, new paint, new rugs, ready now section 8 ok. Call (610)348-6717

26xx S 61st. 3br/1ba $850 modern home, sec 8 ok. 267-909-0116 59xx Springfield 4br/2ba modern, nr to tran, sec 8 ok 215.868.0481 65xx Saybrook Ave. 3Br newly renovated, Sec 8 ok 267-467-0140

13xx S. Markoe 2BR Remodeled, section 8 ok. 215-609-5207 2Br, 3Br & 4Br Houses Sec. 8 welcome beautifully renovated, (267)981-2718 55xx Chancellor 3br $585+ 54xx Webster 3br $650+ Handyperson specials, income verification 215-355-5025, Leave message 5636 HAVERFORD 3br/1.5ba $800 1st, last & sec. 267-240-0611 56th & Lancaster 3br $900 section 8 ok, newly renov. 267-252-0399 707 N. 42nd St. 6br/2ba Open House May 5 & 6, 12-5pm. Fully renovated, Sect. 8 welcome. (718)679-7753 leave msg. West Phila 2BR $750 1st/last/sec 267.496.1241 215.200.8585

42nd & Market 3BR/1BA $895 + utils. 2mo sec. dep. Call 215-878-5056

OVERBROOK PARK 3BR $1,100 finished basement. Call 610-642-5655

50 East Montana nice 3Br $1050+utils Section 8 OK. Call (215)849-3758 5xx Vernon Road 3br/1.5ba $1200+utils C/A, hdwd flrs, recently renovated, Call 215-833-5083 or 215-760-3850 Mt. Airy 3BR/2BA $1300+ util Beautiful row home newly remodeled, h/w flrs, fin bsmt/rec rm, huge back yard, gas heat, nice neighborhd 215-843-4481 Near Cheltenham Mall 3br/1ba $1300+ utils, newly remod, garage, 267-218-1543 20xx Hark Ln 2BR $585+utils fenced backyd, 3 mo mvn 215-514-0653 2, 3br Voucher: Section 8 Welcome 8xx E. Hilton, renovated, W/D, near El. $900/month. Call 215-206-4582 2849 Jasper St 3 BR $700+util. renovated, great condition. 267-968-6131 32xx Memphis St. 3BR/1BA $950/mos. Beaut. renovated. 215-694-0360. 32xx N Philip 3br/1ba $690+utils wall/wall carpets, porch. 215-836-1960 Kensington 2br/1 ba 1br sec 8 ok 215-839-9211, 732-267-2190

Ditman St. 5BR/2BA $1325/mo w/d, fridge, yard, sec 8 ok. 215-632-5763 Frankford 3br sec 8 ok, 267-939-6965

12xx Alcott St. 3br/1ba $950+utils remod, bsmt, gar, no pets 267-784-2809 Castor Gardens 3BR/1BA $875+ garage, fenced yard, no pets 215.750.3612 Oxford Circle 3BR/1.5BA $1100/month fin. bsmnt, no pets. Call (267)872-7125

25xx W. Sterner St. 2BR $550/mo. Call 267-252-6304 N. Philly 3BR/1BA House $650 BEAUTIFUL NEWLY RENOV house. All neutral! $1,950 to move in. 267-973-2284

6xx E. Courtland 2BR, 1BA $725+ Excel. move in cond. Call 267-544-9221 Lawncrest: 5xx Anchor St. 3Br/1Ba Section 8 ok. 215-407-2559

Margate beau mod Condo pool patio a/c cbl great loc! Seas $6,800. 267.257.6389 VILLAS, NJ - Cool breezes and beautiful sunsets await for you at this newly renov. 2BR, dog friendly, bayfront property. One time low offer, $1,000 for May & June. Weekends rentals pos. 609-602-8450

automotive Crown Victoria 2011 $26,500 (Police Interceptor) equiped/ undercover, lights/siren. 3,200 mi, blk. 856-770-4500 Ford 2000 Luxury H-Top Conv Van (new body style) a/c, full pwr, orig mi, prem tires, mag whls, $5,985. 215-922-5342 Ford F-150 XLT 2001 new body style, 4 dr,lux super ext. cab,mag whls, prem tires, orig mi, sacrifice $6950. 215-629-0630

Civic LX Coupe 2007 $7900 23k, exc cnd, salvage title 267-265-7996 Fit Sport 2008 $9,995 5 spd, 77K, AC, CD, exc cond215.736.8054

FORD RANGER ’94 4X4 $3000/FIRM 79,000 orig. miles, 5 sp. manual, just detailed, good cond.,Call 215-688-0369

Innsbruck 2008: 2BR, 1.5 BA sleeps 8, 2 tv’s incl perfect cond. (856)904-8720

NJ shore, 40ft Breckenridge park model, screen rm, slps 6 $18K/obo 484.574.9445

Mercury Cougar Eliminator ’70 $20k restored, matching #’s, nice 215.781.5940

JUNK CARS REMOVED FOR FREE with or without title, free pick-up. (267)357-3232

Junk Cars & Trucks Wanted, $400, Call 856-365-2021

JUNK CARS WANTED 24/7 REMOVAL. Call 267-377-3088 WE BUY JUNK CARS Competitive prices paid. (267)246-9415

Cadillac 1999 Sedan Deville $3975 Lux 4 dr, a/c, full pwr, S/S whls, few orig pampered mi, woman driver. Also Cadillac 1998 Catera, Deluxe economy model, 4 dr, w/ sunroof, GAS SAVER , S/S whls, quick private sale. Carol 215-928-9632 Chevy TrailBlazer 2003 $4,995 loaded, 161K mi, Call Dave 267-246-8045 DODGE CARAVAN SE 2000 $1750 4 dr, 7 pass, loaded, clean 215-280-4825 Dodge Grand Caravan SE 2000 $1750 all pwrs, clean, insp,rns exc 215.620.9383 DODGE STRATUS 2004 $2750 loaded, extra clean, (215)947-9840 Ford E350 16 Passenger Van 1993 $1650 auto, AC, 124K, runs exc. 215-620-9383 HYUNDAI SONATA GLS 2001 $2500 6cyl, sunrf, auto, runs gd, a/c, cruise control, pwr steering, only 92k. 610.543.3363 Mazda MPV 4WD 1997 $3,900 7 seat, new inspection. (267)467-7163 Mitsubishi Diamante 2001 $3800/obo 152k mi, new trans, runs gd 215.510.0509 NISSAN MAXIMA 1998 $950 loaded, runs, nds sme wk (215)947-9840 Nissan Maxima SE 2002 $3,495 auto, sunroof, gorgeous 610-524-8835 Pontiac Boneville 1993 $1,999/obo 110K miles, remote start, 18 inch chrome rims, runs great 215-609-5037

Pontiac Grand Prix SE 1995 $1550 all pwr, insp, needs no work 215.620.9383 Porsche 914 1972 $3,000/firm professionally rebuilt eng. 856-691-2439

A1 PRICES FOR JUNK CARS FREE TOW ING , Call (215) 726-9053

Yamaha V Star 1100 Classic ’06 300mi $5,400 856-344-2494

TOYOTA COROLLA LE 1998 $3000 a/c, Pwr W/L , good on gas, 267.269.5625

Black

Toyota Paseo 1994 $1875/obo 4 cylinder, 2 door, 5 spd. stick, 124k miles, 40/mpg, runs like new, 267-825-2315

jobs

Bensalem 4Br/2Ba $1625 Rancher All appls, Central Air, fenced yard. Call 215-245-4136

Exton/West Chester area or Chester County area. 3BR 2.5BA. Garage/Swim Club. $1950. Call Don 215-485-0215

Brookhaven 2BR/1.5BA $1300 Cambridge Square Twnhse 215.353.1919 Darby - 131 N. 9th St. Lg. 3Br/1Ba Lg. kitchen, LR, DR, unfinished bsmnt., fully renov., rent to own, 100% owner financing, $925/mo. / $67,900. Call (610) 550-1212 Must See! Darby 3br/1ba $950+utils prch,yd,close shop & transp 610.696.2022 Darby 5Br/2Ba 3xx S. 5th St, new constr (267)767-0717 Sharon Hill/Darby 2BR/1BA $850+Utils Darby 4 BR/1.5 BA $1100 + utils. Available Now. Sec 8 ok. 610-394-0768. First, last and security required.

56xx Wyalusing Ave. 5br/2.5ba $1300 section 8 ok, Call (215)939-3890

24xx N. Bancroft St. 3Br $700+utils w/w carpet, newly painted. 610-623-1136

Brigantine 2Br Pets ok 5/25-29 $575 July $1350 BrigB.com 856-217-0025 Ocean City: sunny, spacious, duplex, 1br, $6900season, $3600 1/2 season, 1br with loft $3950 first 1/2 season. 609.398.1348 VASSAR SQ. Lrg 1BR/2BA Condo Beachfront, $12K/summer 609-822-6868 Wildwood 1br Efficiency season $4000 +sec. 1 & 1/2 Blks to Beach 609-707-1990 Wildwood Crest 4BR weekly (reduced) No Pets, Close To Beach, 877-207-2743

Conshohocken 3BR/1.5BA $1,500+ gas heat, sm. yard, pets neg 610.337.0433 Plymouth Mtg. 2BR/1BA $1650 OPEN HOUSE Sat. 5/5/12 10AM-2PM 2 Valley Road Newly renovated Rancher. Call Ms. Jones 610-659-3551 or piones5927@msn.com

Periodontist

Fleet Maintenance Manager

PT/FT, excellent benefits and gauranteed salary, Call Steven 732-750-0707 email: sswissman@dmgmt.net

National Trucking Co. seeks Exp Diesel Mechanic CDL A req. Position Available immed. Call 215-778-7350

Central & South New Jersey

Lynch Homes

Malvern, Chester County area

is looking to hire an Employment Specialist/Work Crew Supervi sor to work with intellectually disabled adults. Must drive and have a valid driver’s license, 8am-4pm. Email resume: chesterhr@lynchservices.com or call Thomas Morrison, HR Director (610)647-6511 ext. 104

EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR

The Arc of Chester County

Willingboro, NJ SFH 4BR/2BA $1550 Lovely Home, 4BR, DR, 2F Bath, HW FLR, Driveway, Ut. Rm. 443-801-9333.

HADDONFIELD 3br/1.5ba $1495/mo den/office, ceramic tile floors, close to speedline, great schools, (609)706-4223

A diverse non-profit organization serving people with intellectual and developmental disabilities, is seeking a seasoned, self motivated and innovative Executive Director. MS degree preferred; minimum 10 years mgmt exp required. For details on primary responsibilities and qualifications see our ad at www.arcofchestercounty.org

South Jersey

Sales

Cherry Hill, NJ

We are a full service HVAC Company and provide energy saving solutions, which includes residential HVAC equipment, air sealing and insulation to our customers. We are nationally recognized by the E.P.A in Home Performance and ranked #1 in our field. Our central office is located in Cherry Hill, NJ. We will train you in a proven sales process and provide all the tools you require for success. Our coverage area includes South Jersey, Eastern PA and DE. Must be willing to work evenings and weekends. We offer an excellent benefit package including health insurance, car allowance & phone. Must pass background checks and drug screening. Commission based position with weekly draw. Our Requirements: µ Motivated with 3 years or more sales experience µ In Home Sales Experience a Plus! µ Excellent Presentation Skills µ Honesty and Integrity µ Willing to learn Send Resume to sales407a@gmail.com EEO

55

SW,N, W Move-in Special! $90-$125/wk Clean furn. rooms. SSI ok. 215-220-8877

26xx Parrish 3BR/2.5BA $2,000+utils T/H, garage, read yard, C/A, W/D, near transp. Call 267-939-4959

54xx Wissahickon Av 3BR/3.5BA $1,575 util. 2,500 SF TH with deck, C/A, W/D near train. 215-651-1603

S430 4matic 2004 $13,900/obo auto, black, clean Carfax, good cond., all power, 100K mi. Call (215)237-0109

P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R | M A Y 1 0 - M A Y 1 6 , 2 0 1 2 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T |

11xx N. 55TH ST. BRAND NEW BUILDING Single rooms $400. Double rooms $600. Rooms w/ bath & kitchen $600. Rooms come fully furnised w/ full size beds, fridge, and dresser. SSI/SSD/VA & Public assistance ok. Also SW, West, North Phila, Frankford areas. Call 267-707-6129 1517 W. Cayuga St. Renovated Rooms $350 a month. Call (215) 459-1699 17th & Erie/20th & Erie: Furnished Rooms $100/wk. SSI ok 267-690-0204 18xx W. Ontario St. - shared kitch, clean environment, $400/mo, 215-287-2424 24th & Lehigh: Nice, clean Furn rms, $325/mo, SSI ok. No drugs. 215-768-2466 24xx 74th St: $75/week and up. Furnished. Call 215-687-2026 2512 CLEVELAND St. $300-$400/month. 267-240-0611 29th & Allegheny Large, beautiful, newly renov., $300-$350/month 267-997-0907 29th & Jefferson, private entry, shared kitch & bth, $100-$110/wk 267.816.3058 29th & Ridge clean, quiet bldng, proof of income, $120-$140/wk. 267-702-7914 30xx N. 24th St: Rooms, Use of kitchen, $300/mo. & up. SSI ok. (267) 357-5454 41xx Old York Rd. large rm, newly ren,. w/w, furn. . $100/wk. 215-570-0301 42nd & Westminster, 15th & Federal, 55th & Lancaster, Castor & Hunting Park, Share Kitch. & Bath, $375 & up, No sec dep, SSI OK. 215-758-7572 59th St S., near El, cozy, furn, a/c, $90/wk, $90 sec, references 215.472.8119 68th/Lyndburg: room in shared home, $350/mo. 267-592-7228 C & Allegheny; 13th & York; 60th & Race; 48th & Lancaster, 52nd & Race; SSI Welcome. Call 215-290-8702 E. MT AIRY-Newly renov rm, share full kit /ba $100 wk/400move in 215-264-2950 Frankford, furnished, near bus & El, $85/wk & up + $295 sec. 215-526-1455 Germantown Area: NICE, Cozy Rooms Private entry, no drugs (267)988-5890 GERMANTOWN: furn rooms everything inc. $425/mo,Seniors welc. 267.467.4595 Germantown, nicely furn room, nr trans, 1 week free, 215.848.0108, 215.848.0391 Hunting Park: Furn. Luxury Rooms. Free utils, cable, internet. 267-331-5382 Hunting Park & South Philadelphia large rooms, close to transporation, SSI OK. $85-125/week. Call 267-588-5517

homes for rent

53xx Wingohocking Terrace 4br/1ba newly renovated, sec 8 ok 267.467.0140 55xx Ardleigh 3BR/1BA $825+ Modern Kitch. New Carpets. 215-514-7143

low cost cars & trucks

Jaguar 2002 3.0 S Type with sunroof, like new, original miles $6,985 215-928-9632

classifieds

Upper Darby 2br $765+utils lrg bdrms & Liv rm, updated appl’s, new HW flr., close to transp. 610-842-5996

Temple Hosp. area, $400-$500/mo, full kit, 2 full bath, SSI/SSD OK. 215-917-9369 Temple Univ. Hosp Area Lge, pvt Kit & Bth. $135/wk $275 move in 215-416-6538 UPPER DARBY: 69th St. area, newly renovated rooms, $100 & up. whole house use, no drugs. Call (484) 431-3670 West and SW Philadelphia $125-140 priv rm & ba, clean & new. 215-939-5854 WEST PHILA/MANTUA: Large, spacious rooms, $100/wk. SSI ok (215)941-0481 West Phila/Overbrook near 63rd St., fully furn, free food, SSI ok 267.586.8350 W. Kensington for Rent $550/mo. Single Occupancy Effic. 267-970-4553 W. Philadelphia Furnished Rooms $130-$150/wk, carpet, W/D 267.236.2158 W. Phila: Rooms $90/week & Efficiency, Near transportation. (215)317-5872

Broad & Roosevelt 2br & 3br $700+ new renov., new carpet & kitch w/granite counter tops, Sec. 8 ok 215-463-6366

resorts/rent

the naked city | feature | a&e | the agenda | food

apartment marketplace

billboard [ C I T Y PA P E R ]

M AY 1 0 - M AY 1 6 , 2 0 1 2 CALL 215-735-8444

41035:4 $"'c featuring the girls of

=>36/>>9 AC’S NEWEST HOT SPOT

B= 3<B3@) B= 0@7<5

Bachelor Party Headquarters All Nude, All The Time Home Of The 5 min. Lap Dance 8:00pm – 5:00am

5)634%": ° 46/%":

Nowi n g H iO\rQS`aa S a R abSa V]

185 South Carolina Ave. Atlantic City (South Carolina & Boardwalk)

609-340-8820

AWARD WINNING, WORLD FAMOUS CUSTOM STUDIO ARTISTIC TATTOOING! Philadelphia Eddies 621 Tattoo Haven 621 South 4th St (Middle of Tattoo Row) 215-922-7384 Open 7 Days

Building Blocks to Total Fitness 12 Years of experience. Offering personal fitness training, nutrition counseling, and flexibility training. Specialize in osteoporosis, injuries, special needs. In home or at 12th Street Gym. MCKFitness@yahoo.com

I BUY RECORDS, CD’S, DVD’S

TOP PRICES PAID. No collection too small or large! We buy everything! Call Jon at 215-805-8001 or e-mail dingo15@hotmail.com

STUDY GUITAR W/ THE BEST David Joel Guitar Studio All Styles All Levels. Former Berklee faculty member. Masters Degree with 27 yrs. teaching experience. 215.831.8640 www.myphillyguitarlessons.com

NOW HIRING BEAUTIFUL ENTERTAINERS AT THE PENTHOUSE CLUB!

½ PRICED DRAFTS WEEKDAYS 5-7PM

17 Rotating Drafts Close to 200 Bottles

www.devilsdenphilly.com www.facebook.com/devilsdenphiladelphia www.twitter.com/devilsdenphilly

3001 Castor Avenue. Stop by for Auditions!

Servers Wanted

The Lucky Dog SaloonLafayette Hill Seeking reliable servers Please call between 2-5 pm (610) 941-4652

NEW AT THE EL BAR!!!

KENSINGTON HAPPY MEAL! EVERY DAY UNTIL 7PM 2 ALL BEEF HOT DOGS A PBR POUNDER A BAG OF CHIPS AND A TOY ALL FOR $5

7&3: (00% “..#&&3 -*45 )"4 (308/ 50 &1*$ 1301035*0/4 ,*5$)&/ )"4 "%%&% "/ &953" #&-- 8*5) 1&3)"14 5)& $*5:Âľ4 #&45 '3*5&4 40.& 45&--"3 #&&3 #"55&3&% '*4) "/% 7&3: (00% .644&-4Âł Craig LeBan, Philadelphia Inquirer, Revisited April 2007

(*'5 $&35*'*$"5&4 "7"*-"#-&

#%( 5:7EF@GF EF B:;>367>B:;3 $#' &#% #+#* D7E7DH3F;A@E 3F,

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Are You Bored? Lonely? Or Not Understood? We’re HERE!

Your Super Massage Genie! 1 Call and POOF! We land at your front doorstep! Massage, Quality Company, Quality Time, etc, Your location, 24:7 A Good Listening Ear with Your Next Massage, By Someone Ultra-Intelligent & Highly Diversified! OUT-CALL. At Your Service! Call: 215-552-9517 www.EdenLove.FriendlyNow.com

SILK CITY ˜ ˜ FRIDAY:

PEX VS PLAYLOOP LEE MAYJAHS? & DJ EVERYDAY SATURDAY:

DJ DEEJAY

SUNDAY:

SUNDAE NITE

DANCE COMPETITION Open every day 4pm - 2am Sat & Sun Brunch 10am - 4pm 5th & Spring Garden www.silkcityphilly.com

TEQUILA SUNRISE RECORDS

525 West Girard Ave VINYL AND CD SPECIALISTS CLASSIC & MODERN GLOBAL SOUNDS HOUSE TECHNO DUBSTEP DUB DISCO FUNK SOUL JAZZ DIY PUNK LSD ROCK AND LIGHT HARMONY ROOTS BLUES NOISE AVANT AND MORE TUESDAY-SUNDAY 12-6PM 01-215-965-9616

SOCIETY HILL LOAN P H I L LY ’ S PA W N S H O P

4&-- #6: (0-% 4*-7&3

Collectibles, Antiques, Musical Instruments, Cameras, Electronics Check Cashing – Money Orders- Money Gram Agent. We Buy Gift Cards 645 South Street, Philadelphia. 215-925-7357

The Coney Island Cowboy: SEAN KERSHAW!

+ World Record Sword-Swallower! Sideshow Freakery + 2 Headed Duckling! ROCK THE JOINT! Sat. MAY 12 @ TWIN BAR: Glouchester City, NJ

Fashion Fetish?

200+ steel boned corsets in stock size S-8XL Rubber-Leather-KiltsMore by 26 designers. PASSIONAL Boutique 704 S. 5th St. Noon-10PM, 7 days a week www.passionalboutique.com

SEMEN DONORS NEEDED

Healthy, College Educated Men 18-39 ~ $150/Sample WWW.123DONATE.COM

THE EL BAR

Happy Hour Mondays-Fridays 5-7pm $2.50 Kenzinger Pints & More! 215-634-6430 www.myspace.com/the_el_bar

Theatre Exile Presents A Behanding in Spokane by Martin McDonagh April 19th-May 13th @Christ Church Neighborhood House www.theatreexile.org

WATKIN’S DRINKERY

Happy hour everyday even weekends - from 5-7. 1/2 price on all 6 taps! Check out our upstairs game room with pool, darts, and some classic arcade games. On the corner of 10th & Watkins Streets in South Philly.

HAPPY HOUR AT THE DIVE FREE PIZZA! $2 BEER OF THE WEEK! $2 WELL DRINKS! IT’S AMAZING! PASSYUNK AVE (7th & CARPENTER) 215-465-5505 myspace.com/thedivebar

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