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P H I L A D E L P H I A’ S I N D E P E N D E N T W E E K LY N E W S PA P E R
Jan. 3 - Jan. 9, 2013 #1440 |
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THE PHOTOS WE DIDN’T RUN, 2012 PHOTOGRAPHY BY NEAL SANTOS
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Ord
er O n Gru At line bhu b.co m
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INVITES YOU AND A GUEST TO AN ADVANCE SCREENING
music movies
MONDAY, JANUARY 7 AT 7:30PM
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THIS FILM IS RATED R. RESTRICTED. Under 17 Requires Accompanying Parent Or Adult Guardian. Please note: Passes are limited and will be distributed on a first come, first served basis while supplies last. No phone calls, please. Limit one pass per person. Each pass admits two. Seating is not guaranteed. Arrive early. Theater is not responsible for overbooking. This screening will be monitored for unauthorized recording. By attending, you agree not to bring any audio or video recording device into the theater (audio recording devices for credentialed press excepted) and consent to a physical search of your belongings and person. Any attempted use of recording devices will result in immediate removal from the theater, forfeiture, and may subject you to criminal and civil liability. Please allow additional time for heightened security. You can assist us by leaving all nonessential bags at home or in your vehicle.
IN THEATERS JANUARY 11, 2013
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Publisher Nancy Stuski Editor in Chief Theresa Everline Senior Editor Patrick Rapa News Editor Samantha Melamed Web Editor/Movies Editor Josh Middleton Arts Editor/Copy Chief Emily Guendelsberger Food Editor/Listings Editor Caroline Russock Staff Writer Daniel Denvir Assistant Copy Editor Carolyn Wyman Contributors Sam Adams, A.D. Amorosi, Rodney Anonymous, Mary Armstrong, Meg Augustin, Justin Bauer, Shaun Brady, Peter Burwasser, Ryan Carey, Mark Cofta, Jesse Delaney, Alison Dell, Adam Erace, M.J. Fine, David Anthony Fox, Michael Gold, K. Ross Hoffman, Brian Howard, Deni Kasrel, Gary M. Kramer, Drew Lazor, Gair “Dev 79” Marking, Robert McCormick, Andrew Milner, Annette Monnier, Michael Pelusi, Elliott Sharp, Tom Tomorrow, John Vettese, Julia West, Brian Wilensky Editorial Interns Christian Graham, Catherine Haas, Carly Szkaradnik, Andrew Wimer Associate Web Editor/Staff Photographer Neal Santos Production Director Michael Polimeno Editorial Art Director Reseca Peskin Senior Designer Evan M. Lopez Editorial Designers Brenna Adams, Matt Egger Contributing Photographers Jessica Kourkounis, Mark Stehle Contributing Illustrators Ryan Casey, Don Haring Jr., Joel Kimmel, Cameron K. Lewis, Thomas Pitilli, Matthew Smith Human Resources Ron Scully (ext. 210) Office Manager/Sales Coordinator/Financial Coordinator Tricia Bradley (ext. 232) Circulation Director Mark Burkert (ext. 239) Senior Account Managers Colette Alexandre (ext. 250), Nick Cavanaugh (ext. 260), Sharon MacWilliams (ext. 262), Stephan Sitzai (ext. 258) Account Managers Sara Carano (ext. 228), Chris Scartelli (ext. 215), Donald Snyder (ext. 213) Marketing/Online Coordinator Jennifer Francano (ext. 252) Office Coordinator/Adult Advertising Sales Alexis Pierce (ext. 234) Founder & Editor Emeritus Bruce Schimmel
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contents Happy 2013!
Naked City ...................................................................................6 Arts & Entertainment.........................................................14 Movies.........................................................................................18 The Agenda ..............................................................................20 Food & Drink ...........................................................................26 COVER PHOTOGRAPH BY NEAL SANTOS DESIGN BY RESECA PESKIN
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CP’s Quality-o-Life-o-Meter
[0]
The Schuylkill is one of six rivers nominated for Pennsylvania’s “River of the Year” award. “Aw, gee! Does this mean you fellas’ll stop poisonin’ me with fracking chemicals and industrial runoff?” asks the river. “No,” says the governor. “It doesn’t mean anything at all.”
[ - 4 ] According to a sexual-harassment lawsuit,
Deputy Police Commissioner William Blackburn would have an aide browse police personnel files for photos of female officers and then drive him out to meet them. “What?” says aide. “I thought we were looking at PDCupid. No wonder nobody ever winked back.”
[ - 3 ] Some complain that performances in this
year’s Mummers Parade were offensive to African-Americans, Indians and Native Americans. We’re lucky the Kingsessing Klown Klub was too drunk to do their “Spooky Ghosts” routine.
BLIGHT SPECTRUM: Some of the Olde Kensington properties being transferred to the Philly Redevelopment Authority by eminent domain, including cityowned lots, are vacant and poorly maintained, but others are rented to small businesses. NEAL SANTOS
[ - 2 ] Police say a fire at a Chestnut Hill Friends
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meetinghouse construction site was an act of sabotage by union workers because nonunion workers were employed there. “Who’s da rat what ratted us out?” wonders member of an organization whose mascot is a big, stupid inflatable rat.
[ - 2 ] Philadelphia Water Department sends an
area woman a $6,400 bill after determining that her usage meter was not working properly for the last 14 years. Lady, that spit take seems awfully extravagant, under the circumstances.
[0]
2012 was the warmest year on record in Philadelphia. But only literally.
[0]
Eagles coach Andy Reid is fired. And Mike from Port Richmond finds himself closing his clamshell phone before he gets on the air, because what would he say? Who is there left to be mad at anymore? And maybe what he’s feeling isn’t just the absence of anger, but hope. He throws one cigarette off the loading dock and into the gutter. Break’s over, but he stays there in the cold and lights another one while gazing off into the white-blue winter sky of another new year.
This week’s total: -11 | Last week’s total: +5
[ community ]
LAND WAR The city is taking over blighted parcels for affordable housing — but not all property owners want to sell. By Samantha Melamed
I
f you’ve ever wondered if there is still such a thing as “the American dream,” a few hours with Meletios Athanasiadis might restore your faith. He and his mother came to the U.S. from Greece with very little, and by age 15 he’d dropped out of high school to run his own pizza shop. Thirty-plus years later, he’s still making pizza, at a hole-in-the-wall called El Greco on Second Street in Olde Kensington; and along the way he’s purchased about 20 properties in the area, fixer-uppers that he’s rented out to tenants and small businesses. “I had these properties when I couldn’t even find tenants. Nobody wanted to live in this neighborhood,” he says. “I looked at it as a way to retire from the pizza business.” Now, he feels like the rug is being pulled out from under him. Seven of his properties are among 35 privately owned parcels (and 15 more owned by the city) concentrated along Bodine and Cadwallader streets between Oxford and Jefferson that have been taken by the Philadelphia Redevelopment Authority by eminent domain. The condemnations clear the way for a $14 million affordable-housing development by the Arab American Development Corporation in conjunction with New York-based Conifer Realty. The project would require state tax-credit funding and has already won a $1.8 million matching grant from the city. City Councilwoman
Maria Quiñones-Sánchez, in whose district the project lies, sponsored the legislation supporting the proposal, which she believes is essential to the revitalization of a block where a critical mass of blighted properties (including the city’s own poorly maintained lots) has prevented private development. Moreover, it could be the “last chance” for affordable housing in Olde Kensington, says Marwan Kreidie, who heads the nonprofit Arab American Development Corporation. He sees the project — called Tajdeed, which means “renewal” in Arabic — as an important component to retaining socioeconomic diversity in an area where housing values are climbing. “This is one way to stabilize and keep some affordable housing in the neighborhood,” he says. Athanasiadis sees it differently: “They’re stealing [the properties]. They’re taking my property, my tax dollars, and giving it to someone else.” He sees his situation as similar to what occurred in Point Breeze last year: City Council in November passed legislation allowing 17 privately owned properties there to be taken by eminent domain — also for affordable housing in a fast-gentrifying neighborhood, and also over the loud objections of land owners and their allies, some of whom had planned to build market-rate housing on the land. However, there are a few key differences: The blighted lots here are much more concentrated than those in Point Breeze — and arguably less ripe for private investment. Also unlike the Point Breeze lots, Athanasiadis’ properties include garages that are
“They’re stealing my properties.”
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✚ Land War <<< continued from previous page
rented to small businesses: a car restorer and an auto-repair shop. Working around these businesses would apparently have tanked the tax-credit application, and therefore the project. Sánchez did, however, eliminate any owner-occupied homes from proposal. But that doesn’t mean all residents were protected entirely. Letters dated Dec. 20 from the Philadelphia Redevelopment Authority informed some property owners that title to their side lots or backyards had been taken on Dec. 18 — including at least two lots taken in error, according to Sánchez’s office. While the city began outreach efforts in September, some property owners didn’t fully understand the situation and felt taken by surprise. In some cases, property owners say, title was transferred before they had even received an official offer of compensation. Tamara and Henry Asta say they bought the lot comprising their side yard on Cadwallader Street years ago for $10,000, and have tended it into a vegetable garden with a cherry tree. They’ve been saving up to build a garage on part of the lot. The city’s offer of $17,000, they say, isn’t sufficient enticement. “I’m using the land. I don’t want to sell it,” Tamara says. Kreidie says he tried to negotiate with the couple; possibilities included swapping the side lot for a larger backyard. He’d still like to work with them. But the Astas feel they shouldn’t have to negotiate on land they already owned. Nicolasa Doheny, who bought a pair of lots across the street from her house at 1506-08 N. Bodine Street in 1996 so that her young daughters would have a yard to play in, is willing to sell. But she says the lots were appraised at around $30,000 apiece, and the city has offered half that. She has one year to appeal the compensation. Offers are based on appraisals and are meant to be market rate. But Athanasiadis is doubtful he’ll get what he thinks his properties are worth. He points to 1529 Cadwallader St., for which he says the
city offered him $43,000. “I paid $55,000 in 2004, and then I had to make improvements, I had to pay interest. But that’s the only offer I received from the city, and they made the offer after they took possession over my property. They become gods [acting unilaterally].” It’s not hard to see where Athanasiadis is coming from: He took a risk and bet on a neighborhood when it was on the rocks, and now he may not reap the reward. And yet, there’s a word for buying land in expectation of rising prices: speculation. From the city’s perspective, it takes development, not speculation, to raise up a neighborhood. It’s hard to argue that the Arab American Development Corporation’s plan won’t be a bigger boost to the area than the sprawl of garages, vacant houses and weed-filled lots that now dominate the site. The proposal is for 45 low- and moderate-income rental units designed by Onion Flats to meet the ultra-high-efficiency “passive-house” standard and, Kreidie hopes, embellished with Arabic motifs. Kreidie expects to learn by March whether the project will win Low Income Housing Tax Credit support from the Pennsylvania Housing Finance Agency. He also hopes to add ground-floor commercial space, though funding for that is even less certain. One possibility: an investment by the adjacent Al-Aqsa Mosque, which could rent units as allowed by sharia banking law — though Kreidie is quick to point out that he runs a social-service organization, entirely separate from the mosque. While some may not like it, Sánchez says, “This is exactly the type of situation where eminent domain is a crucially needed tool to … pave the way for new development and re-investment, while taking care not to displace current homeowners. It is also an example of why Philadelphia desperately needs a land bank to more quickly and efficiently transfer abandoned land for redevelopment, long before blight and vacancy reaches this level.” (samantha@citypaper.net)
JEN J. WALKER FLICKR: LUCINDALUNACY
CHAIR COVER? ³ JUST HOURS AFTER Election Day 2012
drew to a close, the City Commissioners, who run Philly elections, were busy holding their own vote: Commissioners Al Schmidt and Anthony Clark teamed up to oust chairwoman Stephanie Singer, naming themselves “co-chairmen.”The coup put an end to a dysfunctional bipartisan effort by Schmidt, a Republican, and Singer, a Democrat, to reform the office. It inaugurated a mysterious alliance between Schmidt and machine Democrat Clark. A little-noted Dec. 12 meeting was yet more remarkable: Schmidt and Clark voted to name Clark chairman and Schmidt vice-chair, a new post. They then determined that the vice-chair “vested with all the authority and responsibilities of the chair, jointly with the chair, [would function] as co-chairs.” Why would the Commissioners do something so strange? Perhaps money was the motivator. There was no legal provision for “co-chairs,” so neither Clark nor Schmidt could receive the chair’s $8,828 salary bump. Clark, known for spending little time in the office, told the Daily News he wanted that raise, (along with Singer’s large office and three new staffers). Schmidt, who had effectively chaired every meeting since Singer’s ouster, said he would not seek the pay raise. It is a fair price, it seems, for the power. Schmidt called the cryptic Dec. 12 votes “housekeeping … for the Finance Department,” based on the Law Department’s advice — which was, according to mayoral spokesman Mark McDonald, that the “Commissioners must elect a chair, and that person is entitled to the chair’s pay. … Until then, all three will be paid at the member rate.”The transcript shows Inquirer reporter Bob Warner had questions — but the Commissioners had moved the public question period from after the meeting to before the meeting. Singer also seemed confused. “Do we know what vice-chair means?” she asked. Singer didn’t get an answer, and neither did City Paper. Asked if Clark’s desire for a pay raise had driven the vote, Schmidt emailed a one-word response: “Malarkey.” Clark did not respond to inquiries. On Nov. 7, Clark said he had not known about the plan to oust Singer. If he was, in fact, promised a raise in return for Schmidt taking power, it might violate the state’s Sunshine Act, which requires all “deliberation” by a quorum of a public body to be public. For the three-member Commissioners, it just takes two, baby, to make a quorum. Singer refused to say what she thought of the maneuvers: “Each individual City Commissioner represents the people of Philadelphia. It’s up to the people to decide what is proper.” —Daniel Denvir
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WORDS AND PHOTOGRAPHY BY NEAL SANTOS
FOR AN HOUR every Wednesday morning, City Paper’s editorial staff
and art department meet to hash out the visuals that will accompany the stories you read in this paper. For assignment after assignment, I go to that meeting prepared with contact sheets to show the group the best of what I shot. Unfortunately, only a handful of photos get to live in print. But outside of that weekly meeting, I’m out on my beloved streets of Philadelphia, photographing the wide range of subjects we cover — from mom-andpop shop owners in Eastwick struggling to stay in business to a plate of foie gras prepared at Le Bec Fin in Rittenhouse. In 2012, I was sent out on assignment more than 230 times. What you’re seeing here are some of the photos that didn’t make the proverbial “cut,” but miraculously are given new life in our inaugural issue of “The Photos We Didn’t Run.”
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THE PHOTOS WE DIDN’T RUN, 2012
STRAGGLER STRUT DATE: Jan. 1, 2012 TIME: 2:50 p.m. LOCATION: Broad and Tasker streets
Not with any troupe, brigade or band, this strutting straggler took up the tail end of the Mummers Parade.
SMOKING TIM DATE: Jan. 18, 2012 TIME: 9:05 p.m. LOCATION: Polish American Club, 2404 Orthodox St.
TWIN POODLES DATE: Feb. 13, 2012 | TIME: 1:23 p.m. | LOCATION: 51st and Chester streets
Outside my home in Southwest Philly, two carefully groomed poodles walked by with red bows in their hair. Their human companion sported a similar look.
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This portrait of Tim was taken as part of a photo-essay collaboration with staff writer Daniel Denvir about an underground pool league (“The Bridge,” March 8, 2012). Tim was a member of the Foto Club, the team to beat in the Jim Celebre Memorial Pool League. My flash was blamed for one player’s botched shot. Sorry!
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RIDING DIRTY DATE: April 18, 2012 TIME: 1:21 p.m. LOCATION: 700 block of Courtland Street
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While on assignment for news editor Samantha Melamed’s story about houses the city allowed to be built on shoddy fill (“Sinking Feeling,” April 26, 2012), I spent some time on the 700 block of Courtland Street in Logan. This image is of a mechanic from a small auto-repair shop riding his ATV.
FORGOTTEN FRANCENE DATE: March 28, 2012 TIME: 10:28 a.m. LOCATION: Delaware River by the Betsy Ross Bridge
I found Francene’s tombstone near an abandoned Philadelphia Electric Company building while traversing through an Occupy Philly encampment. I stumbled upon Francene washed up along the river due to the dumping of tombstones from the now defunct Monument Cemetery, formerly located at Temple University.
FINGER CARE DATE: July 23, 2012 | TIME: 11:38 a.m. | LOCATION: Germantown and Huntingdon avenues
While photographing Haas&Hahn’s Philly Painting project on Germantown Avenue for a cover story (“Color Block,” Aug. 2, 2012), I met various business owners along the corridor. Pictured here is a passerby flipping me off while Tony (right), owner of My Nails salon, poses.
DATE: June 22, 2012 TIME: 1:58 p.m. LOCATION: 1800 block of North 16th Street
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Mary Sanders welcomed staff writer Isaiah Thompson and me into her home on North 16th Street on a hot summer day. Sanders is an 89-year-old spitfire who is standing her ground by not moving out of the only house remaining on the block amid Temple’s vast expansion into the surrounding North Central Philadelphia neighborhood (“The Land Grab,” June 28, 2012).
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MARY SANDERS
PAINTING BREAK DATE: July 23, 2012 TIME: 12:25 p.m. LOCATION: Germantown and Huntingdon avenues
Natalie Glover was working on awning details of a variety store as part of the Philly Painting project located on Germantown Avenue.
DATE: June 22, 2012 | TIME: 2:30 p.m. | LOCATION: Home of Mary Sanders
The interior of Sanders’ home, which her children help her maintain, was a beautiful glimpse into the past — and a stark contrast with the newly constructed units aimed at Temple University students.
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WELL PRESERVED
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WAITING AND REFLECTION DATE: June 14, 2012
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TIME: 12:29 p.m. LOCATION: 30th Street Station
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A simple image of passengers waiting for SEPTA trains resulted from an assignment for staff writer Daniel Denvir’s story on the Philly transit system (“Why SEPTA Is Heading for a Crash,” June 21, 2012).
KHMER KITCHEN DATE: July 27, 2012 TIME: 10:18 a.m. LOCATION: Sixth and Morris streets in front of Khmer Kitchen restaurant
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I noticed this man dressed in all white and wearing sunglasses. I parked and approached him with nothing more than a simple gesture to my camera. He removed his sunglasses and settled his bagged beverage on his seat for a portrait.
BEN FRANKLIN GETS COZY DATE: July 30, 2012 | TIME: 11:51 p.m. | LOCATION: Fourth and Chestnut streets
I had the opportunity to photograph famed Ben Franklin impersonator Ralph Archbold for our annual City Guide. Here, he stops at a Cosi to pick up a salad and a flatbread pizza to take home to his wife, Linda, a Betsy Ross impersonator.
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icepack By A.D. Amorosi
³ BETWEEN LAST-MINUTE stuff like Jack Klugman dying, Andy Reid’s firing and the closing of that Krispy Kreme joint on South 16th Street, it looks as if we barely made it out of 2012 by the skin of our bologna. But let’s avoid the reflective navel gazing. Other than loving Moonrise Kingdom, Girls, Telegraph Avenue, Boom! and Good Kid, m.A.A.d City along with the openings of the Stratus Rooftop Lounge,Will BYOB and Fette Sau, much of 2012 is best left behind. You know sadness when you see it — so run. 2013’s looking brighter than the Luxor. ³ Right now, I know about three building restorations and property switcheroos that’ll curl your lips and straighten your collective hairs: one involving a big club space, another a large-scale downtown restaurant, the third a major location change for one of Rittenhouse’s most loved hot spots. The players know that I know, but like them, I know that it’s essential to get our tasty ducks all in a row. So we’ll wait a moment. ³ That said, what is up with Joanna Pang’s little-publicized leasing of W. Ritner Street’s legendary Asylum Arena? Once known as the New Alhambra and the ECW Arena,the space was a haven for wrestling and boxing matches, the location shoot for Mickey Rourke’s The Wrestler and the site of many a rockabilly/burlesque bash. Last winter, Pang announced plans to renovate the spot as an entirely boxing/wrestling-free zone and its walls have been stripped since April. After that, little was heard — until last week, when several wrestling and boxing pros mentioned the revival of Asylum. Is this wishful thinking on their part or is Pang rethinking her wrestling position? ³ Progrock fans and aficionados of the lost art of freeform radio, rejoice: This year’s progressive-rock ’70s marathon at WXPN (its seventh) will be Jan. 5, 1 p.m.-1 a.m., hosted, as usual, by William “Biff” Kennedy, Dan Reed, John Diliberto and Chuck Van Zyl. ³ Back in early December, I dropped the exclusive on how NoLibs’ quintessential old-man bar, Jerry’s (at Laurel and New Market streets, behind Standard Tap), was on Bill Proud’s fast track for early 2013 reopening with charcuterie as its food focus. Now, the Jerry Project has got ex-Estelle chef Marshall Green and new GM John McNamee (ex-El Fuego) on its side. ³ Cool lastminute shout to City Paper editor Josh Middleton. The lean-n-lovely web-wonk leaves here to take over Philadelphia mag’s LGBT-focused G-Philly blog in its newly reconfiguring gay-male-centric sensational site under Michael Callahan. Kisses and misses, JM. ³ Look for Icepack Illustrated — it’s like this, but with photos — every Thursday on Critical Mass, City Paper’s A&E blog at citypaper.net/criticalmass. (a_amorosi@citypaper.net)
Folded by Christopher Kennedy, digital dye sublimation print on aluminum, on display at LGTripp Gallery.
firstfridayfocus By Holly Otterbein
³ LE MERIDIEN Rebecca Jacoby doesn’t overthink her art.
“‘Spontaneous’ is a perfect word for my process,” she says. That’s a little hard to believe. Jacoby’s mixed-media paintings, displayed in Le Meridien’s hotel lobby, depict cell-like structures that are enormous and intricate. The locally based artist fills her patterns with warm, dreamy colors like periwinkle and peach. “The shapes I like to work with, which are circular but not perfect circles, come more from stones, rocks and pebbles and other naturally occurring circular structures,” she says. “I’m not completely sure why these shapes are so compelling to me.” Karl Jones, also a local artist, is showing his 3-D constructions alongside Jacoby’s work. Most endearing is Jones’ portrait of a goofy-looking 1959 Ford pickup. “That old girl and I were best friends,” he says. “We worked and played hard together in renovation, antiques, fishing and camping, bottle digging. I could go on, but you get the gist.” Through Feb. 28, opening Fri., Jan. 4, 6 p.m., 1421 Arch St., 215-422-8200, lemeridienphiladelphia.com.
³ LGTRIPP GALLERY Johanna Inman shoots watermarks dotted on a book. Eric Porter
focuses his lens on cityscapes. Ken Cushman’s pictures highlight shiny, smashed aluminum foil.
But you wouldn’t necessarily know all that from looking at their photographs. The exhibit “FOCUS” features seven photographers whose work is delightfully abstract. Trying to pinpoint what the images actually depict is like deciphering a Rothko painting. Gallery director Luella Tripp thinks that’s a good thing. “In our visual culture, we all too often view a photograph as ‘reality.’ However, despite appearances, it is by its very nature removed from the reality we see and feel,” she says in a statement. “By rejecting the myth of photography, the abstract artist embraces the medium’s full potential.” Through Jan. 12, reception Fri., Jan. 4, 6 p.m., 47-49 N. Second St., 215-923-3110, lgtrippgallery.com.
³ AND THEN THERE’S … Imagine not being able to tweet your every thought. The Asian Art Initiative’s exhibit “Shut Your Trap!!!” is a stark reminder of the lack of freedom of speech throughout the world. Closing night Fri., Jan. 4, 6 p.m., 1219 Vine St., 215557-0455, asianartsinitiative.org. In SPACE’s “Locals Only,” designers and illustrators pay tribute to the charming neon signs that swing above dive bars. Through Jan. 30, opening Fri., Jan. 4, 6 p.m., 72 N. Second St., aigaphilly.org. The powers at Rodger LaPelle Galleries have been trying to woo local painter Paul Kane for several years. They finally snagged him, they say, because so many other galleries have shut down recently. Through Jan. 31, opening Fri., Jan. 4, 5 p.m., 122 N. Third St., 215-592-0232, rodgerlapellegalleries.com.
“Embracing the medium’s full potential.”
the naked city | feature
[ a playful sweatfest of the highest order ] ³ electronic/dance
With a sound built on cigar-box guitar, slap bass and washboard, no trio is more fun in performance than New Jersey’s April Mae and the June Bugs.The recent Boogie! (aprilmaeandthejunebugs. com) does justice to the live show with the three taking familiar roots genres and twisting them around Mae’s elbow-gloved, thimble-capped fingers. On “Blue Moon Risen,” Dave “Catfish” Fecca trades that cigar-box guitar for mandolin, but with Mae wailing and scratching rhythm on the washboard, it is as much Yank Rachell as Bill Monroe. The one tune with boogie in the title is a modern bait and switch more Kurt Weill than Pete Johnson. —Mary Armstrong
Montreal party maestro Tiga has engineered a lengthy dance career most notable for novelty covers and smirking self-aggrandizement. But while Non Stop (PIAS/Different) — his first commercially released DJ mix in nearly a decade — includes jokes (best being the deliciously seedy Matthew Dear collaboration “Plush”), it’s also serious business. It’s a master class in how to weave hard-edged techno, acid-laced bleep house, fractured electro-soul, etc., into a —K. Ross Hoffman playful sweatfest of the highest order.
³ pop Warrior (RCA) may not be a game-changing revelation on the order of Ke$ha’s debut, but it’s a stinging corrective to the relative personality void of 2012’s chartscape — going Nicki Minaj, for instance, one better by combining snarky girl-rap and tack-tastic pop-house on essentially every track, rather than segregating them across a bifurcated album. Nobody else is injecting radioready pop-glop with anything like Ke$ha’s signature swagger (a delirious blend of gutter-minded excess and glittery sweetness) —K. Ross Hoffman and hook-a-second maximalism.
flickpick
³ rock/world When Brave Combo was firming up its sound, Bubba Hernandez’s bass and vocals were key. Hernandez left the group some years back, but the energy and eclecticism on his new CD, Big Pounding Heart (Moon Zero Bird), will certainly please fans from his Brave days. Hernandez wrote all the songs and as that title hints, it’s never too late to be crazy in love (“Love Sick”) or lust (“Testosterone”). From tropical to salsa to cumbia, the CD winds up sweet and slow with “At the End of My Road.” —Mary Armstrong
[ movie review ]
ZERO DARK THIRTY [ B+ ] STIRRING CONTROVERSY WELL before its release, much of it thanks to politi-
A disturbing moral blankness.
Regal splendor without a trace of pomposity. ³ YES, BOYS AND GIRLS,it’s time for another edition of the scratchy-old-record show. Today’s subject is Arturo Toscanini, the great Italian conductor whose scowling visage was the very face of opera and classical music for the first half of the 20th century. He was best known as the music director of the NBC Symphony Orchestra, an ensemble created by RCA exclusively for Toscanini for concert broadcasts and to make recordings. The bulk of his recorded legacy comes from this association, produced between 1937 and 1954 in New York. That material alone would seal Toscanini’s reputation as a conductor of impeccable attention to detail and driving passion that still inspires conductors to this day. But Toscanini was at the end of his creative life by that time — hardly out of gas, but sometimes displaying lapses in his customary ironclad concentration. And the NBC band, though comprised of superb musicians, did not quite have the pedigree and polish of the older orchestras in Boston, Philadelphia and New York, let alone Europe. There are a handful of recordings made by Toscanini with other orchestras that greatly enhance his artistic profile, including a wonderful session he made in Philadelphia in the early 1940s. Alas, that set is marred by faulty masters, limiting its appeal to all but the most hiss-tolerant fanatics. Now West Hill Radio Archives has produced an extraordinary four-CD collection of the recordings that Toscanini made in London in 1935 with the BBC Symphony Orchestra, featuring music of Brahms, Elgar, Beethoven, Mozart, Wagner, Berlioz and more, beautifully restored for this release. Very critical listening is not required for one to appreciate the piercing power of these performances. I do not know of any other recording of the Brahms Fourth Symphony that so incisively reveals the texture of the score, nor so tenderly cradles the meltingly beautiful melodies.The Enigma Variations of Elgar crackle with energy, and beam with regal splendor, but without a trace of pomposity. The Wagner is glowing. Music lovers who cherish old recordings of Robert Johnson, Charlie Parker or Erroll Garner, as I do, quickly forget the compromised sound quality as the intensity of the artistry at hand pushes aside such mundane matters. It is just as true with classical oldies, as this blazing tribute amply demonstrates. (p_burwasser@citypaper.net)
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SAVE THE DRAMA FOR OSAMA: Kathryn Bigelow and Mark Boal’s politically controversial film stars Jessica Chastain as a CIA targeter who’s dead set on tracking down bin Laden.
FROM SCRATCH
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cal commentators who had not seen the film, Zero Dark Thirty arrives prepackaged as a referendum on the use of enhanced interrogation techniques — or, as it’s known outside the down cocoon of bureaucratic doublespeak, torture. In fact, the scenes in which presumed Islamic terrorists are subjected to waterboarding and hung in stress positions occupy only a tiny fraction of the film, and information thus extracted is one small stone on the path that eventually leads the CIA “targeter” played by Jessica Chastain to Osama bin Laden. The question of whether the movie distorts the role coercion played in finding bin Laden — senators and journalists say yes, while the CIA’s acting chief is less categorical — is critical, but it also points to a more amorphous and engaging question: Why? Like filmmakers Kathryn Bigelow and Mark Boal, who have answered questions about their sources and intent with cagey generalities, Zero Dark Thirty has a disturbing moral blankness at its core. Framed as a factual account, even if Chastain’s Maya is pseudonymous, the film climaxes with the raid on bin Laden’s compound, the longest sustained departure from its protagonist’s POV and a troubling sop to action-movie enthusiasts. The joyless intensity with which Maya (whose name means “illusion” in Sanskrit) pursues her goal, her resolve redoubled after a colleague falls prey to a suicide attack, echoes the country’s all-consuming fury, especially as it threatens to eclipse any other reason for her existence. With no life apparent outside of her job, Maya serves as a mirror, reflecting the concerns, or lack of them, that audiences bring. One moment peddling militaristic rah-rah, the next questioning it, Zero Dark Thirty works both sides of the razor-wire fence, a gambit that places it at war with itself. As in life, the guys with the biggest guns come out ahead, but that’s not quite the same as winning. —Sam Adams
suitespot Peter Burwasser on classical
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³ roots/blues/boogie
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[ disc-o-scope ]
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movie
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DRAMA
BEST Picture Best director Best actress Best screenplay
shorts
DRAMA
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G OLDEN G LOBE NOM IN ATIONS kathRyn bigelow m a r k b o a l jessica chastain
� � � �
FILMS ARE GRADED BY CITY PAPER CRITICS A-F.
YOU’RE IN FOR A HELL OF A RIDE.
JESSICA CHASTAIN IS A MARVEL.” -PETER TRAVERS,
“A POWERHOUSE THRILLER. ‘ZERO DARK THIRTY ’ MOVES WITH SPEED, WEIGHT, BR AINS AND GR ACE.” -RICHARD CORLISS,
“
THE BEST PICTURE OF THE YEAR .”
ANN HORNADAY
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Texas Chainsaw 3D
NEW TEXAS CHAINSAW 3D
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A haiku: Trey Songz is in this. He and Leatherface do a duet on “Say AAAAAAGGGGH!!!” (Not reviewed) (Franklin Mills, Pearl, UA Grant, UA Main Street, UA Riverview)
ZERO DARK THIRTY Read Sam Adams’ review on p. 15. (AMC Loews Cherry Hill)
CONTINUING
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DJANGO UNCHAINED|C+ For half its (substantial) length, Django Unchained dithers and doodles, introducing Christoph Waltz as a roving bounty hunter and Jaime Foxx as the titular slave he frees to help him track down his prey. The farting around stops, by design, with the introduction of Leonardo DiCaprio’s daintily brutal slavemaster, but when he has a runaway slave ripped into pieces, the movie splits, too. Although there’s plenty of gunplay, including the juiciest bullet hits in recent memory, Django’s highlight is a tense negotiation between Waltz and DiCaprio, with Foxx’s enslaved bride (Kerry Washington) as the object of sale. Quentin Tarantino doesn’t shirk from the ugliness of slavery, casting Samuel L. Jackson as a sadistic house negro who delights in doing his master’s work, but his confrontations are toothless. —Sam Adams (Pearl, UA Grant, UA Main Street, UA Riverview)
THE GUILT TRIP|D Casting Seth Rogen as a neurotic inventor and Barbra Streisand as his nagging mother and sticking them in a
tiny car for a road trip through the South sounds like a formula for fish-out-of-water comedy. The bickering duo pulls off the road at a strip club, the Grand Canyon and the Vegas strip, but screenwriter Dan Fogelman is so intent on making the story family-friendly that the setting hardly matters. Nothing in the outside world means anything in the vacuum created by this all-consuming mother’s love. That is, if there were room on its craters for nearconstant product placement: Rogen’s cross-country trek is undertaken to pitch his cleaning product to companies like Kmart and QVC, while scanning every billboard along the way. It’s like watching an adaptation of the Sunday coupon supplements. —Shaun Brady (UA Riverview)
THE HOBBIT: AN UNEXPECTED JOURNEY|BThe Hobbit is a 300-page children’s book, and the nearly three-hour Unexpected Journey covers only about its first hundred pages. The set pieces are thrillingly staged and the scenery gorgeous, as is to be expected, but the getting there feels endless and riddled with tangents. Worst of all, the 48-frames-per-second format robs Middle-earth of its magic. The you-are-there clarity is a constant reminder that these are actors romping around New Zealand in costumes wielding prop weapons. There are moments that hearken back to the best of the original trilogy, but for the most part it all feels like prologue. As what little story there is unfolds, it’s hard to believe that when the trilogy finally plays out, this entire film won’t seem largely unnecessary. —SB (Pearl, Tuttleman IMAX, UA Grant, UA Main Street, UA Riverview) THE IMPOSSIBLE|D Meticulously crafted and essentially obscene, J.A. Bayona’s quasi-docudrama follows a British family vaca-
LES MISÉRABLES|CDirector Tom Hooper seems hypnotized by the human voice; any time one of his actors opens their mouth to speak, he’s compelled to shove his camera close into their face and stare in immobile awe until they finish. The effect becomes numbing, especially given the musical’s nonstop singing,
John Magaro is engrossing as a New Jersey teen who dreams of fronting the Garden State’s answer to the Rolling Stones, but the film is a jumbled mess of conflicting tones and half-sketched ideas. There’s evident passion in director David Chase’s devotion to the details of starting a band, the mixture of self-doubt and arrogance that goes with reaching for the brass ring. It’s as if Chase is lost without the discipline of the writers’ room, or perhaps he’s just relishing the freedom of not having to bridge the gap between one episode and the next. Whatever the reason, Not Fade Away is shockingly off-key at times, the only upside being that it’s so forgettable it won’t leave a dent on Chase’s shining legacy. —SA (Ritz Five)
PROMISED LAND|B-
LINCOLN|B+
Director Sam Mendes goes for broke from minute one, initiating us into the chase as Bond (Daniel Craig) and babely agent Eve (Naomie Harris) pursue chaos-bringer Patrice (Ola Rapace) through the alleys of Istanbul. Patrice has gotten hold of a drive containing the identities of every undercover MI6 agent in the world, intel the ever-dissatisfied M (Judi Dench) would like to have back. While well-paced, Skyfall falters when it tries to convince us that the public has the clout to hold an agency like MI6 accountable for its sins. Such clandestine orgs will always be fueled by secrecy, which Mendes remembers in his over-
REPERTORY FILM THE BALCONY 1003 Arch St., 215-922-6888, thetroc. com. The Monster Squad (1987, U.S., 82 min.): Fred Dekker and Shane Black’s cult-camp classic follows a ragtag group of kids who take on Dracula, Frankenstein and a host of other well-known ghouls in their plot for world domination. Mon., Jan. 7, 8 p.m., $3.
Life of Willie Faust, or Death on the Installment Plan (1972, U.S.,
16 min.): Fanaka’s ambitious hybrid of Superfly and Goethe’s Faust. Sat., Jan. 5, 5 p.m., $9. My Brother’s Wedding (1983, U.S., 82 min.): This poignant character study of an African-American man struggling to make ends meet in his developing community is complemented by A Little Off Mark (1986, U.S., 9 min.), which follows a reserved bachelor as he fumbles his way into meeting Ms. Right. Sat., Jan. 5, 8 p.m., $9.
MOVIE MONDAY Valanni, 1229 Spruce St., 215-7909494, valanni.com. Showgirls (1995, U.S., 131 min.) : Strippers, a little Saved By the Bell and a so-bad-it’sgood script come together to create this spicy installment for Hollywood’s
[ movie shorts ]
cult catalogue. Stay after for an evenspicier dance set by DJ Drootrax. Mon., Jan. 7, 9 p.m., free.
PHILADELPHIA MUSEUM OF ART Van Pelt Auditorium, 2600 Benjamin Franklin Pkwy., 215-763-8100, philamuseum.org. Out of the Archives: Marcel Duchamp at the PMA
(1987, U.S., 105 min.): Awesome rare footage from Marcel Duchamp’s 1987 symposium at the Art Museum. Fri., Jan. 4, 6:30 p.m., free.
THE ROTUNDA 4014 Walnut St., 215-573-3234, therotunda.org. Catching Babies (2012, U.S., 60 min.): Barni Quazzim’s doc follows three women through Maternidad la Luz, a midwifery school in El Paso. Wed., Jan. 9, 6 p.m., free.
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BRYN MAWR FILM INSTITUTE 824 W. Lancaster Ave., Bryn Mawr, 610-527-9898, brynmawrfilm.org. Rio (2011, U.S., 96 min.): After a domesticated endangered macaw meets his manic pixie dream bird, they fly to South America for a romantic rendezvous. Sat., Jan. 5, 11 a.m., $5.
TOBE HOOPER, DIRECTOR ‘TEXAS CHAIN SAW MASSACRE’
COLONIAL THEATRE 227 Bridge St., Phoenixville, 610-9171228, thecolonialtheatre.com. Grindhouse (2007, U.S., 191 min.): Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez revel in their famous film fetishes in this self-indulgent double feature (Death Proof and Planet Terror). Fri., Jan. 4, 9:45 p.m., $10. Ella Enchanted (2004, U.S., 96 min.): Anne Hathaway slips a feminist narrative into this fairy tale about a princess who’s cursed to follow any order she’s given. Sat., Jan. 5, 2 p.m., $5. The Invisible War (2012, U.S., 93 min.): Kirby Dick and Amy Ziering’s doc takes a look at incidences of rape in the American military. Sun., Jan. 6, 4:30 p.m., $9.
INTERNATIONAL HOUSE PHILADELPHIA 3701 Chestnut St. 215-387-5125, ihousephilly.org. L.A. Rebellion:
STARTS FRIDAY, JANUARY 4!
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Daniel Day-Lewis’ Great Emancipator is not a stentorian orator but a sly, selfamusing raconteur, an expert horse trader who doles out patronage jobs in exchange for congressional yeas. Forced to mollify his party’s ideological purists while dragging dissenters across the aisle, Lincoln employs every means at his disposal, including some
SKYFALL|A-
Kinda-sorta spinning off Paul Rudd and Leslie Mann’s Knocked Up characters, Judd Apatow’s This Is 40 finds the couple approaching the big 4-0 with predictable if well-drawn anxieties. Their dream businesses range from marginal success to money pits, their daughters feud constantly and their sex life is dulled by overfamiliarity. Apatow is great with minor details, like the way Rudd keeps sneaking off to the crapper for some iPad time, or how Mann sneaks the occasional cigarette and hides the evidence from her kids. But the movie is a mess, sprawling and disorganized, with performances too emphatic to exist in such a nebulous world. —SA (Pearl, UA Grant, UA Main Street, UA Riverview)
full day of African-American-made two-for-ones: Daughters of the Dust (2012, U.S., 112 min.), Julie Dash’s film about a slave-descendant island family trying to plan their move to America, and Diary of an African Nun (1977, U.S., 15 min.), Dash’s short about a Ugandan nun reflecting on her role as a “wife of Christ.” Sat., Jan. 5, 2 p.m., $9. Emma Mae (1976, U.S., 100 min.): Jamaa Fanaka directed this fish-out-of-water tale of a mild-mannered Mississippian who hits the L.A. streets. Followed by A Day in the
P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R | J A N U A R Y 3 - J A N U A R Y 9 , 2 0 1 3 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T |
much of which begins to run together into an indistinguishable muddle for the uninitiated. In the rare moments without dialogue, Hooper’s fish-eye scans the grime-covered alleyways, a reminder that there is a world outside Hugh Jackman’s face. His rare stabs at actual production numbers, like the clumsy Richard Lester-isms of a comic piece featuring Sacha Baron Cohen and Helena Bonham Carter, suggest that artlessness may be preferable. —SB (UA Grant, UA Riverview)
Steve (Matt Damon), a poised corporate up-and-comer partnered with veteran saleswoman Sue (Frances McDormand), sets his boots down in the town of McKinley, tasked with leasing land for hydraulic fracturing, or “fracking.” Things are going well until Dustin (John Krasinski), a backpacktoting activist with an agenda, starts hurling tree-hugging wrenches in all of Steve’s gears. Like any polarizing scrap, an educated compromise skulks somewhere in the middle, but this screenplay hides instead of hunting for it. —Drew Lazor (Ritz East, UA Grant)
THIS IS 40|B-
Creating a New Black Cinema: A
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A haiku: Uh, that’s slang for a handjob, right? As in: “Tom Cruise gives great Jack Reachers.” (Not reviewed) (Pearl, UA Grant, UA Main Street, UA Riverview)
NOT FADE AWAY|D
hauls of time-tested double-0 tropes. Craig’s job description hasn’t changed, but he’s been visibly invigorated by his new co-workers. —DL (UA Riverview)
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JACK REACHER
that tarnish his copper-bright image. As always, director Steven Spielberg has a tendency to underline twice when once would do, but Day-Lewis runs with the movie’s pedantic bent, enhancing one argument with a Euclidean theorem. The painstaking detail that goes into tracking the 13th amendment’s path toward approval is at its core an impassioned defense of representative democracy, with all its flaws intact. It’s like the most eloquent episode of Schoolhouse Rock ever made. —SA (Ritz Five, UA Grant)
the naked city | feature
tioning in Thailand in the immediate aftermath of the 2004 Indian Ocean tsunami. Bayona stages the impact, which pulls doctor Naomi Watts away from husband Ewan McGregor and their three sons, with deafening immediacy. It’s effectively nerve-jangling — especially for parents — but the film treats its story of survival like an amusement-park ride, sticking close to its protagonists and reducing the native Thai victims to background color. It’s a tremendous achievement, especially considering that the water effects were achieved without CGI, but it serves no purpose other than putting viewers through the wringer and, eventually, making them feel better again. —SA (Ritz Five)
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LISTINGS@CITYPAPER.NET | JAN. 3 - JAN. 9
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[ ringing with universal truths ]
SOME LEGS: Many Arms plays the Rotunda on Friday.
The Agenda is our selective guide to what’s going on in the city this week. For comprehensive event listings, visit citypaper.net/listings.
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IF YOU WANT TO BE LISTED:
Submit information by email (listings@citypaper.net) to Caroline Russock or enter it yourself at citypaper.net/submit-event with the following details: date, time, address of venue, telephone number and admission price. Incomplete submissions will not be considered, and listings information will not be accepted over the phone.
Riverside Theatre. The former Long Island high school physics teacher-turned-DIY theater artist plays characters from both families as they converge for the forced-together holidays of Christmas and Hanukkah. Solomon applies his knack for dialects and accents to stories from his life that ring with universal truths about dysfunctional families — and who isn’t from one of those? —Mark Cofta
FRIDAY
1.4 [ theater ]
✚ MY MOTHER’S ITALIAN ... We needn’t be Italian or Jewish to appreciate monologuist Steve Solomon, who brings the ...And I’m Home for the Holidays to his popular My Mother’s Italian, My Father’s Jewish and I’m in Therapy to the Bristol
Through Jan. 6, $30-$50, Bristol Riverside Theatre, 120 Radcliffe St., Bristol, 215-785-0100, brtstage.org.
mortality and faith and community, how we got where we are.” They devised short scenes that, to their surprise, grew into “that most dangerous of beasts, a play” — an apocalyptic mystery titled Midnight on a School Night. “Eight artists looked at Philadelphia and started digging,” Rodden says. “Come see what we found.” —Mark Cofta Through Jan. 6, free (reservations required), Adrienne Theatre Main Stage, 2030 Sansom St., 215-563-7500 ext. 1, newcitystage.org.
[ jazz ] [ theater ]
✚ MIDNIGHT ON A SCHOOL NIGHT For the first production by Voices for a New City — the education program run by New City Stage Company — director Kevin Rodden selected seven local young thespians who, he explains, “care about addressing themes that often make young people squirm:
✚ MANY ARMS + COLIN FISHER Released last year on John Zorn’s Tzadik label, Many Arms’ militantly acrobatic and cripplingly dense third album was the Philly jazz-punk power trio’s best so far. What’s next? According to guitarist Nick Millevoi, the keyword for the New Year is “collaboration.” In April, Many Arms records with
Toshimaru Nakamura, a leading figure from Tokyo’s Onkyo music scene; this encounter will most definitely result in an unpredictably curious collision of sound as our ultra-maximalist locals come face-to-face with the illustrious Japanese minimalist. But first, this weekend, the band records a new album with the multi-instrumentalist Colin Fisher. The quartet premiers the new compositions tonight at this free show. Fisher, who has worked with Anthony Braxton and Rhys Chatham, will blow tenor sax as Many Arms satiates its dirtiest free-jazz desires. —Elliott Sharp Fri., Jan. 4, 8 p.m., free, with Colin Fisher, The Rotunda, 4014 Walnut St., therotunda.org.
[ first friday ]]
✚ OLDE CITY SIDESHOW On Friday, the Arden Theatre master electrician Martin Stutzman will step out of the shadows for Olde City
Sideshow. The vaudeville/burlesque performance calls for Stutzman to throw knives, swallow a sword, lift heavy things with his ultra-buff eyelids and stop an industrial steel fan with his industrial tongue. Audience members 21 or over can settle their stomachs with free beer samples from Yards Brewing Company. —Elizabeth Gunto Fri., Jan. 4, 6:30-8 p.m., free, Arden Theatre Company, 40 N. Second St., 215-922-8900, ardentheatre.org.
SATURDAY
1.5 [ rock/pop ]
✚ THE SCENE IS NOW “We’re basically a rock band,” says Phil Dray, founding keyboardist of New York City’s The Scene is Now, who come to
Philadelphia with a horn section and 30 years’ experience. The band has accumulated several genre labels from critics over the years, from indie rock to no-wave jug band, and probably earned the most attention when their 2005 tour mates and buddies Yo La Tengo covered “Yellow Sarong.” The new, threeperson horn section includes a mighty baritone sax that adds a quirky, New Orleans touch to the subtle, art-rock sound. —Elizabeth Gunto Sat., Jan. 5, 8 p.m., $8, Highwire Gallery, 2040 Frankford Ave, 215-4262685, highwiregallery.com.
[ jazz/pop ]
✚ TRIO NOVA Imagine it’s 10 a.m. on a summer Saturday morning, just beginning to steam in the parking lot farmers market. You are pondering the blueberries when you realize you’re hearing not just live music, but really complex live music, perhaps “Dear Prudence,” on
the naked city | feature | a&e the agenda food | classifieds
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Dan Montgomery w/ Dayna Kurtz Ashley Leone w/John Dutton ;/BB 2C93 >:/GA B63 B7< /<53: =< E32<3A2/GA 7< 8/<C/@G Wed 1/09 8:00
Matt Duke w/Jason Miles Gross Wed 1/16 8:00
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Matt Duke w/ Andrew Lipke Wed 1/30 8:00
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Dala w/Sultans of String Tues 1/15 8:00
Teitur w/Zachary DuPont Thursday 1/17 8:00
Smash Palace & Sarah Kane Fri 1/18 7:30
Rebecca Jordan w/Sami the Great Sat 1/19 7:30
Matt Portella Sun 1/20 7:00
Eilen Jewell Sat 1/26 7:30
Aiden James Fri 2/1 7:30
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P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R | J A N U A R Y 3 - J A N U A R Y 9 , 2 0 1 3 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T | 21
Sat 1/12 7:30
are playing good and people come by and say thanks.” —Mary Armstrong Sat., Jan. 5, 8 p.m., Coffee Works, 910 Berlin Rd., Voorhees, 856-784-5282, coffee-works.com.
SUNDAY
1.6 [ folk ]
✚ JIM SIX “I used to laugh about the fact that back in the ’70s, all the clubs that had music, I either played at them or started the music,” recalls Philly folk expat Jim Six. “I was like horseshit: everywhere.” He remembers when the Khyber was just one long room. “It had a Radio Shack mixer mounted up on
the wall. You brought your own mics, climbed on a box to plug them in.” Gradually Six added players, expanding from trio to a full show band, the kind where the sidemen open and the backup singer does a few before the star comes out to play. Somewhere along the way it stopped being fun: “I was B R U C E S T U R T E VA N T
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guitar, bass and percussion. “It’s easy to do Beatles songs, their melodies are so strong,” says Trio Nova’s bassist Mike Vogelmann. He and guitarist Pete Devine got together some 20 years ago as a respite from bar gigs, he says, “to play what we felt like.” With percussionist Kris Rudzinski in the fold, they can do Zombies or Lauper, but what they really like best are originals, with jazz and world music coloring the entire repertoire. “The farmers market gig has a special place in our heart. Whatever reactions we get are spontaneous.” Nobody is there deliberately to hear music. “The most gratifying thing of all is to watch the tiny little kids who may have never seen anybody playing live before — some frown, some smile, some dance. This is what I wanted music to be when I started. I’m very happy and in the moment when we
drinking and we were fighting.” So Six quit, sold everything from his amps down to his Martin D-35 and was out of the business for 22 years. Today he’s is the web editor and a bi-weekly columnist for the South Jersey Times. In recent
[ the agenda ]
years, he has eased back into performing for the pleasure of the stories he tells in his original songs and those intimate moments in between — “just me and the audience.”
framemonster Neal Santos clicks and tells
—Mary Armstrong Sun., Jan. 6, 2 p.m., free, Mugshots Coffeehouse, 1925 Fairmount Ave, 267514-7145, mugshotscoffeehouse.com.
[ rock/pop ]
✚ HOSPITALITY These days, you don’t need to go looking for NYC bands singing about NYC. Just wait a minute and they’ll be on you like a bee beard. But they’re not all insufferably twee or mustachioed. Take Brooklyn trio Hospitality, who achieved the exact right levels of twee on last year’s self-titled debut for Merge records. This is wily, spritely, jangly indie-pop punch spiked with unexpectedly noisy
³ A WALK THROUGH FRIGID AIR
$2 TACOS EVERY SUNDAY
Date: Fri., Dec. 28, 2012 Location: 24th Street and Washington Avenue The Story: The two-and-a-half miles of Washington Avenue are a visual feast. Whether you’re driving, walking or biking, you get a raw glimpse of Philadelphia’s cultural diversity and essence — from the Mummer’s Museum on Second and the Italian Market on Ninth to the lineup of mom-and-pop taquerias and Asian supermarkets stretching from 13th to Columbus Boulevard. This image was taken while parked on a median on Washington Avenue. A long stretch of refrigerators were displayed alongside a tan stucco building with a red, white and blue sign that read, “Scratched & Dented Appliances.” I had to wait about 10 minutes before a customer walked by so I could complete the shot. (neal.santos@citypaper.net)
FROM 7-MIDNIGHT!
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bridges and staticky crescendos. Kansas City-born vocalist-guitarist Amber Papini can go from pretty to gritty like a mood ring, and there’s a bitter, dissatisfied sting to some of her lyrics. Don’t get me wrong. This KYLE DEAN REINFORD
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Follow Neal Santos and City Paper on Instagram @nealsantos and @phillycitypaper.
band is plenty adorable. Their melodies can swell and surge with Belle and Sebastian-ish bliss. Plus: One of their videos is about a woman whose tears make her bf’s race car go faster, and another one stars Maeby Fünke. We’ll keep an eye on
the tweemeter, but right now Hospitality is in the safe zone. —Patrick Rapa Sun., Jan. 6, 9 p.m., $10-$12, with Conversations With Enemies and Tinmouth, Johnny Brenda’s, 1201 N. Frankford Ave., 877-435-9849, johnnybrendas.com.
[ rock/pop ]
✚ XANAX/HEAVY MEDICAL Five extreme bands play the Church tonight; don’t miss the first two. It begins with Xanax, a punk supergroup of sorts featuring members of +HIRS+, Des Ark, Pink Coffins, Saetia and Off Minor. “With Paws” and “Milk Youth,” the two demos Xanax has up on SoundCloud, sound like what might happen if a vengeful claustrophobic anarchist stoned on bath salts
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the agenda
GRO
UP THERAPY BAR
WE SELL BOOZE!!!
DOWNSTAIRS
ON THE CORNER OF
9TH & CHRISTIAN
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215.238.0379
Happy Hour 5-7 Every Day! Quizzo Mondays at 9
Free Live Music & Events @ 9pm ON STAGE THIS WEEK: Fri 1/4 Creep Records and Out of Print Magazine present SHORT FUSE DJ Night Sat 1/5 Blues Brunch with George Urgo Sun 1/6 Geron Hoy W 1/9 Ottoman Records Open Mic Th 1/10 Stinking Lizaveta / Workhorse III Fri 1/11 Bob The Metal Guy Party
Come check out our delish new menu items! Follow Us! Twitter, Facebook, Instagram @gunnersrun
1001 n 2nd st Piazza Philly
gunnersrun.com
the naked city | feature | a&e the agenda food | classifieds
Sat, Jan 12th, 8pm, Donations @Door Rigor Mortis Revue Burlesque Show & live music from Coffin Fly Tues, Jan, 29th 10pm Free FAMILY SPIN DJ PARTY With DJ PEZ (aka bartender Victor Perez) AND FRIENDS LE BUS Sandwiches & MOSHE’S Vegan Sandwiches And Salads Now Delivered Fresh Daily! Happy Hour Mon-Fri 5-7pm Beer of the Month EDMUND FITZGERALD PORTER booking: contact jasper bookingel@yahoo.com OPEN EVERY DAY – 11 AM 1356 NORTH FRONT ST. 215-634-6430
FRIDAY 1.4 HOT MESS
DJ APT ONE SKINNY FRIEDMAN
----------------------------------------SATURDAY 1.5 DJ DEEJAY ----------------------------------------MONDAY 1.7 MAD DECENT MONDAYS ----------------------------------------TUESDAY 1.8
CURTIS COOPER PROJECT
THE ADULTS EMMETT DRUEDING
----------------------------------------WEDNESDAY 1.9 THE PAXTONS BLACK SPADE SUZI ANALOGUE SELA DJ GIANNI LEE ----------------------------------------FRIDAY 1.11 PEX VS PLAYLOOP LEE MAYJAHS? DJ EVERYDAY
www.silkcityphilly.com 5th & Spring Garden
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Friday Jan 4th, 8pm, FREE FIRST FRIDAY Works by Aaron Klingensmith
the agenda | a&e | feature | the naked city food classifieds J A N U A R Y 3 - J A N U A R Y 9 , 2 0 1 3 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T
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f&d
foodanddrink
miseenplace By Caroline Russock
NEW YEAR’S EATS ³ WELL, THE NEW year has arrived, and with it plenty of folks embarking on betterment in 2013. New year self-improvements may come by way of a juice cleanse, a pledge to use that gym membership you’ve been paying for but ignoring or the purchase of one of those ridiculous electronic cigarettes in the hopes of getting rid of that pack-a-day habit. Or maybe this year’s resolution is the more obtainable goal of eating a little bit healthier. The piles of cookbooks we’ve received over the past few months certainly include their fair share of silly titles like Quinoa Revolution or The 30-Minute Vegan’s Taste of Europe.But those aren’t the books that will entice you into eating more healthfully in 2013. Instead, check out a volume that transports you to a place where healthy eating is an ancient tradition, produce is abundant and meals are centered around fresh vegetables, grains and olive oil. That place is Israel and the cookbook is Jerusalem (Ten Speed, October 2012) by Yotam Ottolenghi and Sami Tamimi. Ottolenghi is the Israeli-born chef behind a minichain of eponymous high-end fast-casual spots in London and the author of last year’s absolutely stunning vegetable cookery book,Plenty. Along with partner Tamimi, Ottolenghi has penned a gorgeous tribute to the foods of Jerusalem, taking the time not only to assemble a vibrant collection of recipes but to pay proper respect to the bittersweet nature of the city and its struggles across centuries. The culinary history of this ancient district is as vast as its population of Greek Orthodox monks, Christian Arabs, Muslim Palestinians, Jews and more, hailing from everywhere from Tunisia to Romania. But there are commonalities in their cuisines: the ubiquitous Israeli (or Arab) salad of chopped tomatoes and cucumbers, a predilection for olive oil and lemon juice, and an affinity for whole grains. Within the pages of Jerusalem you’ll come across Middle Eastern staples like mejadra, a cinnamonspiced pilaf of rice and lentils; bright parsley and barley salad; and harissa-spiked shakshuka with tomato-poached eggs. These are the sort of recipes that make it easy to adapt to a vegetable- and graincentric way of eating. Because when lunchtime rolls around and you’re met with a sabih, a thick pita topped with charred eggplant, chopped salad, mango pickles and cilantro-chile paste, that notso-hot ham and cheese sandwich becomes less and less appealing. (caroline@citypaper.net)
SHAKEN: Coffee and cream find their way into many of the cocktails at Hop Sing Laundromat. NEAL SANTOS
[ cocktail party ]
THE TRUTH ABOUT CZAR LEE Hop Sing Laundromat is equal parts liquor and secrets. By Adam Erace HOP SING LAUNDROMAT | 1029 Race St., hopsinglaundromat.com.
Open Tues.-Sun., 6 p.m.-2 a.m. Cocktails, $12.
W
e begin, as all new years should, with Champagne. At least that was the plan. But over the next few paragraphs it will become apparent nothing concerning Hop Sing Laundromat goes according to anyone’s plan except its cagey puppeteer’s, the monosyllabic liquor czar Lee. I can’t call the following More on: words about his Fort Knox speakeasy a proper review, since I was carded before admission and thus my identity known, but the thoughts below are my own, as much as Lee might have tried to influence them. It all began two weeks before Christmas. I had just finished eating pizza when a message on my phone proffered a mysterious invitation from a number I didn’t recognize: “Good evening, Mr. Erace. This is Lee from Hop Sing Laundromat, and I would like to invite you in for a personal tasting at your convenience.” Lee got my number from an unnamed mutual friend. His self-serving, if generous, offer — I declined, of course — was like
citypaper.net
gasoline on the Lee pyre I’d been tending in my soul. I was a Hop Sing holdout, you see. The impromptu invitation was the first correspondence I’d had with the man, the myth, the wannabe legend since he leaked his plans back in 2010 to turn a vacant Indonesian restaurant into Philly’s most meticulous drinking destination. As cocktail scribes suckled at his top-shelf well and Twitter tribes strapped on their kneepads, I resisted. The pseudonym, the phony self-deprecation, the game of hot-and-cold he played with the press — it irked me more than intrigued. For a while, anyway. When Lee texted me, Hop Sing had been serving six months, the hype machine had settled into a less rabid churn and curiosity nibbled at me like a mouse at cheese. I’d review it, I decided, the first review of 2013. Which is what brought me to an ornate metal security door at 1029 Race Street on the Saturday before Christmas, and face to face with Lee, backlit by an otherworldly blue glow MORE FOOD AND like an alien emerging from the mothership. DRINK COVERAGE Lee admitted a twosome and politely AT C I T Y P A P E R . N E T / asked me to come back in 15 to 20 minutes. M E A LT I C K E T. I returned and, after grudgingly handing over my license, was invited into the waiting room, a cozy holding cell with a row of theater-style chairs flanking a vintage shoeshine station, the now famous floor of pennies shining. Lee recited the house rules (no photography, no talking on cell phones) and 10 minutes later, I was in. He pulled out a throne-like seat for me at the center of the brass-and-crimson room with the look of a haunted library (cathedral lights, gilt mirrors, floor-toceiling book racks of bottles) tended by a mannerly waitstaff. >>> continued on adjacent page
the naked city | feature | a&e | the agenda
[ food & drink ]
✚ The Truth About Czar Lee <<< continued from previous page
The only Champagne Hop Sing serves is Dom, by the bottle. gracetavern.com
food classifieds
ble! Now Availa r 1st Growle $20 ly Refills on $15!
All Beers $3 all night! Complimentary bites during happy hour!
GROWLER GIVEAWAY: Holiday Party Raffle GRAND PRIZE: 1 growler every week for an entire year!
P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R | J A N U A R Y 3 - J A N U A R Y 9 , 2 0 1 3 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T | 27
I ordered “something with Champagne,” bartender’s choice, but the only Champagne Hop Sing serves is Dom, by the bottle, Lee explained. I should have known, considering his well is a who’s who of the alcoholic aristocracy. So I opted instead for a Hotel Nacional (rummy, frothy and pineapple gold) from the “classics” side of the menu. Hop Sing’s drinks are a very fair $12 and tend toward the straightforward. Some have only two ingredients, like the Henry “Box” Brown, 2 ounces of 15-year-old El Dorado dosed with 3 ounces fresh red grape juice, named for a slave who mailed himself from Richmond, Va., to Philly in 1849. In a cocktail scene where you’re only as good as your apothecary of housemade bitters, tinctures and drams, it’s ballsy. So is Lee’s widespread affection for coffee and cream, whether in the haunting Nevermore with tequila and gin or the refreshing Boston Healer with bourbon, vanilla and honey liqueurs and bruised mint. A thin cap of dairy neutralized the slow-burning sting of muddled Thai chilies in the Montana Payback, a concoction involving rum, applejack, strawberries and farlernum. The off-menu tequila Old Fashioned was mostly booze but, paradoxically, not boozy. When the fire vanished from its tableside-flamed orange peel, it revealed a smooth tango of mezcal and reposado, smoke and oak set to plainspoken Angostura, agave and a spray of essential citrus oils. I sought that balance in the Triple A special, but there wasn’t enough fresh-pressed green apple juice to combat the lethal doses of applejack and absinthe. “I know you didn’t like the Triple A,” Lee whispered when he set down the check, “so I took it off the bill.” I’d given no indication I hadn’t liked it. I’d even drunk most of it. Is Lee psychic or just a very keen observer? I can’t say for sure. But I can dispel at least some of the mystery behind the man: Lee grew up in Saigon during the Vietnam War. His family tried to escape, twice. The first attempt was unsuccessful. The second smuggled them into a Indonesia refugee camp, the start of a relocation process that would move them to Singapore, then to Orange County, Calif. He moved to New York, working as the assistant director of food and beverage at a posh hotel before quitting to become a day trader. He spent more than two months driving cross-country visiting bars, leading up to the opening of Hop Sing Laundromat. Fact or fiction? Hard to tell. But one thing I know to be true about Lee is the following: His job, he says, is “to find out what my guests need and do whatever it takes to get it.” I know this is true because a few days after my visit to Hop Sing, I was prowling state stores for a bottle of Wigle Ginever, a new Dutch-style proto-gin produced in Pittsburgh. I tweeted how I couldn’t find it. The following day, a bottle mysteriously appeared on my doorstep. “My job is to find out what my guests need,” Lee echoed when he rang me later at home, his caller ID flashing on my TV screen. “That’s what you needed.” I’m returning the booze. Lee’s real name, I’ll keep. (adam.erace@citypaper.net)
whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;scooking By Carly Szkaradnik
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Âł THE WEEK IN EATS
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First Friday at Bottle Bar East Fri., Jan. 4, 7 p.m. Âł For this First Friday go-around, Bottle Bar invites you to check out Fishtown art collective/fabrication shop Frankâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Kitchens and sample a few beer and cider choices while you soak in your monthly dose of culture. Free sips include selections from Rochester, N.Y.â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Three Heads Brewing and Spire Mountain Cider, a sub-brand of Washington stateâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Fish Brewing Co. Bottle Bar East, 1308 Frankford Ave., 267-909-8867, bottlebareast.com.
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28 | P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R |
J A N U A R Y 3 - J A N U A R Y 9 , 2 0 1 3 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T
NORTHEAST INTERNATIONAL MARKET 2842 ST. Vincent Street, Philadelphia, Pa 19149 TEL: 215-333-2628 Fax: 215-333-2808 www.1stnemarket.com info@1stnemarket.com YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD INTERNATIONAL STORE
Seafood
Grocery
Fresh Produce Red Meat
Healthy Girlsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Night Out Mon., Jan. 7, 6 p.m., $40 Âł Regardless of whether you say yea or nay to New Yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s resolutions, those early-January feelings of overindulgence run completely amok are near universal. A night of exercise, clean eating and advice from an expert should help sort you out; whether you choose to follow that advice moving forward is totally up to you. Put in an hourâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s worth of effort at the ballet barre, then take the quick walk over to 21st and Walnut for dinner at Pure Fare. Health and weight-loss expert Jessica Procini will chat about nutrition and diet plans over the meal; the willpower to transition out of your newfound habit of holiday cookies for dinner is on you. Pure Barre, 1701 Walnut St., 267-234-7825, www.facebook.com/ purebarrephilly. Hundred Horse Beer Dinner Tue., Jan. 8, $50 Âł
Kimlan Sang Chau Soy Sauce (Light) Originally $2.89 Sale $2.19
Kimlan Sang Chau Soy Sauce (Dark) Originally $3.29 Sale $2.59
Tapioca Starch Originally $2.49 Sale $1.69
Sun Cake Originally $5.99 Sale $2.99
â&#x20AC;˘ Come try our live seafood. We clean,cut & fillet your fish. â&#x20AC;˘ We carry Beef, Pork, Goat, Veal, Duck, Chicken, & Fowl and cut them your way. â&#x20AC;˘ We also carry Local, Asian, Latin American produce that is delivered everyday. â&#x20AC;˘ Play PA Lottery Play Here â&#x20AC;˘ Le Lai Beef Noodle Restaurant Inside Now Open
OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK FROM 8:00 AM TO 8:30 PM WE ACCEPT ALL MAJOR CREDIT CARDS, EBT AND FOOD STAMPS
Argo Corn Starch (16oz) Originally $1.59 Sale $0.99
Chicagoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s The Publican is paying a visit for a special prix fixe in honor of their new collaboration beer with Alla Spina and Victory Brewing, a chestnut ale dubbed Hundred Horse. The beer is named for the world's biggest and most ancient chestnut tree that grows at the foot of Mount Etna in Sicily. A meet-and-greet reception with reps from Victory, the Vetri family and The Publican (including celebrated chef Paul Kahan) will kick off at 4:30 p.m.; the dinner follows, with reservations offered throughout the night. The price includes four Victory-paired courses, each consisting of side-byside offerings from both restaurants â&#x20AC;&#x201D; fritto-mistostuffed pork loin and taleggio-stuffed shells from the Vetri crew alongside fried clams with fennel pollen aioli and guinea hen roasted in hay from the visiting team, for instance. Alla Spina, 1410 Mount Vernon St., 215600-0017, allaspinaphilly.com. (carly@citypaper.net)
To place your FREE ad (100 word limit) ³ email lovehate@citypaper.net ACT YOUR AGE
CHEAP TWAT Hey bitch you think that I didn’t know that you were selling your stinking ass for cheap and then lying about the situation saying that you didn’t have any money. Bitch you don’t have to lie to me about not having any money because I know you do already. First and foremost you need to be real with yourself. If you don’t have any money stop trying to buy all your friends and keep the money to yourself. Some people are gonna have to learn the hard way that money honestly isn’t growing on anyone’s trees. Not that I have seen thus far.
trips. Hell, I can take myself on a fucking shopping trip. I don’t like your family it is just phony all up and down the board.
I MISS THE SHIT OUTTA YOU Girl I miss you like crazy, I always think about you how I eat that twat and stick my tongue in and out of your ass also the way you look at me when your sucking my dick and fucking you in your ass I know you miss the dick girl.
I WANNA BE WITH YOU APRIL April, I think your the most AMAZING, BEAUTI-
nity of a lifetime to get to know me pure and uncut lol THATS WHAT SHE SAID. I heard through the grapevine that you were soliciting your services to a family member of mine just a month ago but instead of being honest you felt it was your duty to lie. See I gave you a series of questions and you managed to lie everytime. What a genius you are! I mean hey family and I couldn’t obviously talk because we’re family right. Then when you’ve been confronted by both parties you run this sorry I didn’t tell you...Naw fuck that you told me some bs that’s what you told me! I accept your apology but my life isn’t a game. I told you I didn’t have time at this point in life to be playing around and your situation was already
DUROSS & LANGEL GIRL You sold me on the Siberian Fir liquid hand soap, but in that moment you smiled at me I would’ve bought anything-it could’ve smelled like gasoline or a pile of garbage, and I would’ve bought it. I stared at your hands, trying to see if you had a wedding band on amidst the other rings. I wanted to be free of my tortured relationship and my crumbling life, I wanted to ask you out, I wanted to buy a million soaps from you to let you know how beautiful you are and how you lit up my day. But all I could do was take you up on a gift box, laugh when you told me what a crazy day it had been, and wander out into the dying light of another winter afternoon. Happy Holidays...maybe I will see you in the new year?
You know that you want me and I know that I want you. Why are we playing games with each other. I know Michelle isn’t giving you what you need at all. You can’t sit there and tell me that she is giving you what you need. Why don’t you do like you did in the summer time and sneak over my way like you were sneaking those women in the house. I knew you were doing it and if your wife was smart she would of known that you were doing it also. If you don’t approach me I am going to jump all over you and tear you up just like you wife should of done from the fucking beginning. You want me remember...what are you waiting for?
THANKS FOR A GREAT CHRISTMAS
THIS IS TO POOKIE
FUL n AWESOME woman ever met in my whole life...you mean alot to me and if you give me a chance I can show you that I’m the man that you been looking for. I promise you that I would never hurt you, and that I’m ready to settle down and step up to support you and your son. So it’s your move April I’m here and I got alot of pure and true love to give you...
LIGHTING YOUR FIRE
LOUD UGLY BITCH I can’t believe that you were on the train throwing around all those curse words like you were crazy or something. Didn’t you think that people around you would be offended and didn’t want to hear that shit moreless or hear that shit early in the morning. Then you were ugly on top of that. I just didn’t understand if you could hear yourself. You are a fucking woman act like it and make the right decisions. You never know who is around or watching you.
✚ ADS ALSO APPEAR AT CITYPAPER.NET/lovehate. City Paper has the right to re-publish “I Love You, I Hate You”™ ads at the publisher’s discretion. This includes re-purposing the ads for online publication, or for any other ancillary publishing projects.
29
I hate to put guys in the same box or catagory. I really try to give some of y’all the benefit of the doubt but a couple sucka type dudes weezle their way through. Like you for instance you had the opportu-
flawed to begin with and here I am tryna work with you. I gotta stop tryna save these hoes.
I was so happy that day I saw you in court when you looked at me & didn’t even know who I was at first, but when you DID realize it was me I be you felt like shit. I wonder what you had to pawn in order to get a token to get downtown. Oh yea, that’s right...it was you’re ass. Didd you straight pawn it, or was it on loan? Hey at least you still got you looks right? There are some people out there who are into the Edward Scissorhands/Twillight look. Just remember to leave out the HIV and junkie parts & you should be all good. Next time we have court, make sure you play the clean role correctly & get you own cell phone.
P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R | J A N U A R Y 3 - J A N U A R Y 9 , 2 0 1 3 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T |
Sarcasticly extending thanks to all my former family who were gracious enough to call me on Christmas day. I was alone all day, watching movies I’ve seen at least 3X and eating my dinner ALONE. You excluded me from sharing in your holiday celebrations because my fat mouthed EX gf called everyone and said we had found a couple bedbugs upstairs. You all got so sleeved that despite my assurances that we had eliminated the problem and washed everything twice, you still determined it “necessary” to keep your distance, even on the phone?
GUY ON TRAIN
You stupid bitch how fucking dare you tell me anything about my child. He fucking came out of me... don’t you think that I know him? You stay in your place all your job is to do is to make sure that he is alright...all the rest of the shit that you are talking about goes in one ear and out the fucking other. And please don’t try to win me over with the shopping
SILLY NEIGHBOR
Hey Chickie...you just don’t know where you fit in do you...you are a moron and you just suck! I hate seeing you in the morning. I want to throw a bucket of fish at you to make you smell alittle better than you did earlier. Then you fucked around and told me that you think that you have hepitatic c...bitch you already know you got that shit. You stay away from me and then you supposed to be so fucking health concscious you aren’t healthy bitch! Stay away from everyone and stay off of facebook bitch!
Hey, my sorority sister wrote the first one about you. I came into your store to see what the big deal was and boy wasn’t I disappointed. You are tall and thick. I ask you to take me to the bathroom. I didn’t need to go I just wanted to take you in there and fuck your brains out. You gave me that smile she was talking about and ask some dumb bitch to take me. I’ll try again later, and by the way my name is “Marcia”.
I KNOW MY CHILD
You sitting in my fucking face complaining that someone yells continously at you. That is your fucking fault. You dumb ass bitch! I don’t want to hear anything especially right about now where I just saw my fucking paycheck and them fucking social security taxes and the rest of that shit. And the last thing I need is to hear your mouth. Why can’t you just accept that things are the way they are and move the fuck on...because I don’t wanna hear it.
STUPID SLUT
GUY AT AUTOZONE!
Why the hell are you talking so fucking loud on the septa train. Nobody cares about your fucking finances and you were just as ignorant as you wanted to be. Then your gonna sit there and say that you weren’t giving your money to none of these hoes. You know what you aren’t worth anything honestly. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing early in the morning. Take a breath mint and shut the hell up already nobody wants to hear all that garbage.
SHUT THE FUCK UP!
classifieds
I can’t believe what you are doing and what you are going through...I told you before that I was looking out for you and you just wanted to do what you wanted to anyway. Guess what bitch...I am not going to look out for you anymore. I have had enough of your games and all the rest of the shit that you tell me and I try to tell you the truth about things. Learn yourself old woman.
the naked city | feature | a&e | the agenda | food
[ i love you, i hate you ]
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By Matt Jones
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“THE WORLD DIDN’T END” — BUT OTHER THINGS HAPPENED IN 2012
Adoptions ADOPTION
ADOPT: A loving, secure, married couple wishes to adopt. We promise to provide unconditional love, faith, joy, education, extended family. Expenses paid. Kathleen/Gerard; 1-800-829-1976. www. kathleengerry2adopt.com
Public Notices AIRLINE CAREERS
Become an Aviation Maintenance Tech. FAA approved training. Financial aid if qualified-Housing available. Job placement assistance. CALL Aviation Institute of Maintenance 877-492-3059..
classifieds
food | the agenda | a&e | feature | the naked city
jonesin’
22
Automotive Marketplace CASH FOR CARS
ANY CAR/Truck. Running or Not! Top Dollar Paid. We Come to You! Call for Instant Offer. 1-888-420-3808 www. cash4car.com
Business Services 20 ACRES FREE
Buy 40-Get 60 acres. $0 Down, $168/month. Money back guarantee. NO CREDIT CHECKS. Beautiful views. Roads/surveyed. Near El Paso, Texas. 1-800-843-7537. www.SunsetRanches.com ATTEND COLLEGE ONLINE
from Home. *Medical *Busin e s s * C r i m i n a l Ju s t i c e, Hospitality. Job placement assistance. Computer avail-
able. Financial Aid if qualified. SCHEV authorized. Call 800-481-9472. HYPERLINK http.// www.CenturaOnline. com. www/CenturaOnline. com REGULAR MASSAGE THERAPY
Special Price! $45/hr. Call (215)-873-4835. 1218 Chestnut St.
Business Opportunity REACH 5 MILLION
hip, forward-thinking consumers across the U.S. When you advertise in alternative newspapers, you become part of the local scene and gain access to an audience you won’t reach anywhere else. http://www. altweeklies.com/ads
Help Wanted AUTO MECHANIC
WANTED: ‘A” & B” technician for growing auto repair shop in Philadelphia. Clean shop, good working conditions; 5 day work week, salary commensurate with experience and ability. Top salary for right person. Must have own tools, inspection and emission licenses, valid driver license Call Wayne at (215)900-9739 and leave message or fax a resume to (215)222-0802 or e-mail to wayne@waynesgarage.biz An ASE certifications a plus ? 3-5 years of automotive mechanical diagnosis, problem solving and repair experience. ? Clean driving record ? Able to provide your own automotive tools. Background check and drug test
HELP WANTED
Drivers Wanted Day or Night 215-928-9280
ated Fleet & Great Miles! Pay Incentive * Benefits! Recruiters available 7 days/wk! EOE 866-554-7856.
HELP WANTED DRIVER
HELP WANTED!!
HELP WANTED DRIVER
$$$HELP WANTED$$$
HELP WANTED DRIVER
Homes
CRST offers the Best Lease Purchase Program! SIGN ON BONUS. No Down Payment or Credit Check. Great Pay. Class-A CDL required. Owner Operators Welcome! Call: 866-403-7044. Driver-$0.01 increase per mile after 6 months and 12 months. Choose your hometime. $0.03 Quarterly Bonus. Requires 3 months recent experience. 800-414-9569 www.driveknight.com DRIVERS REGIONAL FLATBED. HOME Every Weekend, 40-45 CPM. Class A CDL Required. Flatbed Load Training Available. 1st Seat Sign On Bonus. 1-800-992-7863 ext. 160 www.mcelroytrucklines. com HELP WANTED DRIVER
Drivers-Pyle Transport (A Division of A. Duie Pyle) Needs Owner Operators, Sign-On Bonus if you start on or before Dec.19th! Regional Truckload Operations. HOME EVERY WEEKEND! O/O Average $1.84/Mile. Steady, Year-Round Work. Requires CDl-A, 2Yrs. Exp. Call Dan: 877-910-7711 www. DriverForPyle.com HELP WANTED DRIVER
Drivers: CDL-A NO GIMMICKS! Just great pay, Miles, hometime & benefits. $.50/mile for Hazmat Teams. Solos Start at $.36/mile. 1yr. exp. req’d . 800-942-2104 Ext. 7308 or 7307 www.TotalMS.com HELP WANTED DRIVER
34 | P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R |
J A N U A R Y 3 - J A N U A R Y 9 , 2 0 1 3 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T
✚ ACROSS 1 Did some hoof work 5 Acoustic guitarist’s lack 8 Reasons for some performance anxiety 13 “___ but known ... ” 14 Go head to head 15 Words intoned 16 With “The,” hit summer movie with Robert Downey Jr. 18 Imply 19 “Rah!” 20 Nervous movement 22 Wayside taverns 23 Cruise ship that capsized off Italy’s coast in January 2012 26 Zeus’s sister (and lover) 27 Ctrl-S function 28 “Yuck!” 31 Devilish sort 33 Beth preceder 37 If it had happened, you wouldn’t be reading this 42 Org. with a shelter outreach program 43 Group of cubicles 44 Thesaurus wd. 45 It’s just a little bit 48 Paint hastily 51 Where Michael Phelps won even more medals 57 R&B’s india.___ 58 “This is ___ boring” 59 “OK, sir, I gotcha” 61 ___ Dearest 63 Snacks snapped up after its
65 66 67 68 69 70
manufacturer went bankrupt Apply oil ritually Tickety ___ (animated Nick Jr. show) Folk singer Burl Last name in British automakers “What a display!” Jane’s Addiction album Ritual ___ Habitual
✚ DOWN 1 Fuzzy carpet 2 Devastation 3 “___ Billie Joe” (Bobbie Gentry song) 4 Best-selling author D’Souza 5 Schubert song played at weddings 6 Salyut 7 successor 7 Green sauce 8 Drab crayon hue 9 100% 10 Get up 11 Singer/guitarist Lopez 12 Taco salad ingredient 15 Center of activity 17 Airport terminal area 21 The newly elected 24 Rough it 25 Mirror shape 28 Thurman who killed Bill on-screen 29 Natural ___ (subject of “fracking” in 2012) 30 Prefix meaning “less than normal” 32 Go boom 34 Pre-album releases, for short 35 He unleashed “Gangnam Style”
✚ ©2013 Jonesin’ Crosswords (editor@jonesincrosswords.com)
36 38 39 40 41 46 47 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 60 62 64
on YouTube in 2012 Chicken Run extra Like the scholarly world Org. once involved with Kosovo “Agent ___ Banks” He played the youngest son on Eight Is Enough Very beginning Dairy noise Getting all ___ your face What a toddler aspires to be 1996 presidential race dropout Alexander University of Maine town Leonard who wrote I Am Not Spock Powerball, e.g. Sour cream and ___ (dip flavor) Girder material ___ buco (veal dish) Suffix for “opal” Court
LAST WEEK’S SOLUTION
302).' '!2$%.
).$//2 !.4)15% 6).4!'% &,%! -!2+%4 3#(%$5,%
Drivers: CDL-A STAR OF THE ROAD.Tuition reimbursement up to $5000. New Student Pay & Lease Program. UP to $5000 SIGN ON BONUS! 877-5215775 www.USATruck.jobs HELP WANTED DRIVER
Exp. Reefer Drivers: GREAT PAY/Freight lanes from Presque, Isle, ME, Boston-Lehigh, PA. 800-277-0212 or primeinc.com HELP WANTED DRIVER
Gordon Trucking, Inc. CDLA Drivers Needed! ...$1,500 SIGN ON BONUS...Refriger-
Make $1000 a week mailing brochures from home! FREE Supplies! Helping HomeWorkers since 2001! Genuine Opportunity! No experience required. Start immediately! www.mailing-usa.com Extra Income! Assembling CD cases from Home! No Experience Necessary! Call our Live Operator Now! 1-800-4057619 Ext. 2450 http://www. easywork-greatpay.com
SOUTH PHILADELPHIA
3rd and Porter. All new townhouse. HW flrs, granite kitchen, completely new, gorgeous, wonderful neighborhood, new appliances. $600/m. Call 215292-2176 SOUTH PHILLY 19TH & MIFFLIN
ALL New T/H. Hardwood, Granite, New Appliances, Gorgeous, $650 per month. 215-292-2176.
Roommates ALL AREAS-ROOMATES. COM
Browse hundreds of online listings with photos and maps. Find your roommate with a click of the mouse! Visit: http:// www.Roommates.com.
Rental Wanted APARTMENT WANTED FOR MYSELF!
I am currently looking in Center City a one or two bedroom, efficiency or studio 1st floor Older male. Ask for Christian 267-5927181.
Vacation/ Seasonal Rental DOMINICAN REPUBLIC VILLA
Private Oceanfront 4 bedroom villa for rent in Cabarete, Dominican Republic. Owner lives in Philly. Call Frank: 215-7790520 www.villaflamingo.org
SATURDAY, JAN 5TH & 19TH FEB 9TH & 16TH MAR 2ND & 16TH 8AM TIL 4PM 820 Spring Garden St (9th & Spring Garden) 19123 More Than 60 Vendors Featuring Antiques, Collectibles, Vintage Furniture, Jewelry, Pottery & Much More! Free Parking / Free Admission / ATM / Food Court / Handicap Accessible
www.PhilaFleaMarkets.org
CPEVENTSLIST ONLY AT CITYPAPER.NET/agenda/events
the naked city | feature | a&e | the agenda | food classifieds
merchandise market BRAZILIAN FLOORING 3/4", beautiful, $2.75 sf (215) 365-5826 Diabetic Test Strips Needed pay up to $25/box. Most brands. 610-453-2525 DINING RM Set New Dark wood. Exc cond. Must Sell ! $1000 215-674-1681
BD a Memory Foam Mattress/Bx spring & New Queen cost $1400, sell $299; King cost $1700 sell $399 610-952-0033 BED: New Queen Pillow Top Set $150. twin, full, king avail. Del avl 215-355-3878
33 & 45 Records Absolute Higher $
***215-200-0902***
Cleaning woman looking for work in home. Trustingworthy, 10 yrs exp. Refs. avail Call 267-349-2179
apartment marketplace
58xx Theodore St. 1br/1ba $525 + util modern duplex, w2w carp, 215-840-6018 6522 Belmar St. SW 1BR $625 inc elec, gas, water. Nice reno, secure, 1st flr, hw flrs, fireplace, deck, appli, 814393-1872 splashndash04@yahoo.com
13xx N. Frazier St. 1br/1ba $600/mo wheelchair access. Call 215-409-8383 4832 Cedar 2BR/1BA $750 3rd flr, TURN or SECTION 8 OK Call 215-765-5008 59xx Belmar Terrace 1BR/1BA $550 + utils, LR, kitchen, $1,100 to move-in. Call 267-210-3899
60XX DELANCEY efficiency- New paint, near transportation. 610-265-4677
everything pets pets/livestock Please be aware Possession of exotic/wild animals may be restricted in some areas.
Lab Puppies - Black and chocolate, 4 males, 6 females, ACA reg., vet checked, $400/ea. Call (717) 327-5696
Old English Bulldogs- 3 F, 2 M. IOEBA reg. $1,100. 856-383-6687 Siamese Kittens m/f applehead, purebred, Health Guar. $400 610-692-6408
Pekingese Pups 16 wks M&F shots vet checked $395-$495 215-579-1922
Siamese kittens, Snow Bengal kittens, Snowbob kittens $500. 609-781-0822
Rottweiler Pups, AKC, shots, tails clipped, M $600. F $550. 267-270-5529 Shih Tzu Male / Female Puppies ACA registered, shots. 267-797-0579
BEAGLE PUPS - AKC, 2 males, shots / wormed. $350. Call 267-872-9802
STANDARD Poodles, blk, 2mo. old, $300. Call 215-820-9066
Chihuahua /Maltese Pups home raised 1st shots $275.00. 484-557-1391 Chihuahua Pups for Christmas $400 856-696-0969
51XX Ranstead 1br apt, 1st flr apt all new $550+267-645-9421 COBBS CREEK: 5 rm apt, big kit, fee pd, Pets ok $500â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Locators 215 922 3400 Parkside Area 1br- 6br $700-$1,600. Newly renov, new kitch. & bath, hdwd flrs, Section 8 OK. Call 267-324-3197 Apartment Homes $650-$925 www.perutoproperties.com 215.740.4900 City Line Area 2br Apts beautiful, Holiday Special, 215.681.1723 35xx N. 11th St. 1 BR $440/ mo. Remod. Hdwd Flrs. 215-917-1091 N. Broad St. 2br $650/mo. incl. utils. Call 215-600-5654 1,2, 3, 4 Bedroom FURNISHED APTS LAUNDRY-PARKING 215-223-7000
Broad & Windrim 1BR Newly renov., must see. 215-885-1700
15th & Lehigh Large rooms starting at $400/mo. 215-834-4445 19th & Allegheny $105-$115/wk. Giant rooms, share BA, $300 move in. Laund., kitch., bckgrnd check. Call 215-266-8324 25th & Clearfield, Hunting Park & Castor, 55th & Media, 15th & Federal. Share Kitch. & Bath, $350 & up, no securi ty deposit, SSI OK. Call 215-758-7572
4th & Diamond $95/wk. $225 to move in. bed, fridge & micro. 215-416-6538 54xx Chestnut, cln & quiet, no drug, $225/bi-wk, $450/mo 215.668.3591
60th & Reinhard $380/mo. incl. utils, near trolley 11 & 13. Call 267-266-4904 61st & Walnut - New Rooms To Rent $400 to move in. Call (267) 257-5815
Erie Ave. Nice, furn, fridge, micro, quiet, $90wk, $270 sec dep (609) 703-4266 Hunting Park Effic. $525 1st, last and Sec dep. 215-232-0939
FRANKFORD / NORTHEAST , Newly renov, nicely furnished, A/C, W/D, cable, clean, safe & secure. Call (267) 253-7764
Frankford rms $85-$135/wk, Everything incl. Sec dep req. 215-432-5637 1 BR & 2 BR Apts $725-$835 spacious, great loc., upgraded, heat incl, PHA vouchers accepted 215-966-9371 339 E Wister St 1BR $570/mo newly renov., near LaSalle. 267-228-7359 Seymour & Greene 1br $575-$700 incl. heat & water. Call 610-287-9857
1414 W. 71st Ave 1br $625 Utils incl. Close to trans & shopping. 215-574-2111
20XX Orthodox 1br $550/mo. spacious, painted, sec8 ok 267-230-2600 50xx F St. 1BR $650+ 2 mo sec, Sec 8 OK, no pets 215.539.7866 Frankford Apt/Effic./Rooms, nr bus & El, $300 sec, $90 wk & up 215.526.1455
Bustleton & Grant nice 2br $890 prvt balcony w/garden view 215.943.0370
1517 W. Cayuga St. Renovated Rooms $350 a month. Call (215) 459-1699
Germantown Area: NICE, Cozy Rooms Private entry, no drugs (267)988-5890
Germantown - Large furnished and unfurnished rooms, $100-$150, close to train and XH Bus. Call 215-514-8173
Germantown Rms, $120/wk utils incl, share kit/ba, $500 move in 215.849.5861 N. & W Phila rooms, Single Occupancy, no smoking, $100/wk. 267-588-4289
23XX F ederal L g 4 BR 2B, F ridge bsmt yrd $1150+ 267-645-9421 62nd & Woodland 3BR House Sec 8 ok. Must See. 215-885-1700
980 N. 66th Street 3br/1.5ba $995 www.perutoproperties.com 215.740.4900
55xx Master St. (W. Philly) 3BR, 1BA, refrigerator & stove avail. Laundry hookup. $750/mo. 484-318-1359
29xx Cedar 4br $895+ 2 mo sec, Sec 8 OK, no pets 215.539.7866 29xx CORAL ST 2BR, refrig, bsmt, yard. $635+. 267-645-9421 34XX N 18TH 3BR $750+ Refrig, bsmnt, yard, 267-645-9421
40xx Ormond 3BR $875 5xx 56th Ave. 4BR $1000 Please Call Pan 267-287-3175 5264 Glenloch 2BR/1BA $750+ Section 8 ok. Call 267-808-8432 54xx Torresdale Ave. 3br $795+ Section 8 ok, no pets. Call 215-539-7866 Mayfair 63XX Ditman or 20xx Carver St. 3BR/1BA. New renov. c. tile/ refr/w/d, fence b/yard $930/$975 Centr Air 267-872-7116
DARBY 120 Main Street Completely renovated multi-unit property; 3 bed 1.5 ba & 2 bed 1 ba. units available. Fresh paint, new appliances, large yard, convenient to shopping & public transportation. Starting at $700 Your Local Leasing Company. Call 877-473-6821
SW,N,W Movein Special! $90- $125/wk Clean furn rms SSI ok 215-220-8877
W & SW Phila Newly renov rooms, share kitch & bath, all utils incl. 267.625.4625
ALL CASH for JUNK CARS: $300 $3,000. Free towing. (302) 250-5096
Junk Cars & Trucks Wanted, $400, Call 856-365-2021
A1 PRICES FOR JUNK CARS FREE TOW ING , Call (215) 726-9053
SW PHILA 3BR/1BA $850 +utils Newly renovated. Call 302-650-2386
Special 1 week free: North Philadelphia furn. rooms $100/wk. Call 610-213-1235
SW Philadelphia Room for rent. $250 share kit & bath. 267-251-2749
automotive
To learn more or to find the right person for your job, visit your local partner at philly.com/monster
low cost cars & trucks Ford Taurus SE 2002 $1650 4door, loaded, clean. 215-280-4825 Hyundai Elantra 2000 SW $3,200 New insp, radials. 610.667.4829 Toyota Corolla 1991 $2,500 4 door, loaded, new inspection, excellent condition in & out. Call 215-370-1197
35
Irish Setter pups, AKC, vet chkd, shots, parents our pets, $600+. (302)328-1720
Generous Reward!
LOST DOG, small black & white Male Shih tzu near 71st & City Line. Owner grieving. 215-477-7813
homes for rent
P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R | J A N U A R Y 3 - J A N U A R Y 9 , 2 0 1 3 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T |
Books -Trains -Magazines -Toys Dolls - Model Kits 610-639-0563 I Buy Anything Old...Except People! antiques-collectables, Al 215-698-0787 I Buy Guitars & All Musical Instruments-609-457-5501 Rob JUNK CARS WANTED We buy Junk Cars. Up to $300 215-888-8662 Lionel/Am Flyer/Trains/Hot Whls $$$$ Aurora TJet/AFX Toy Car 215-396-1903
jobs
apartment marketplace
billboard [ C I T Y PA P E R ]
J A N U A RY 3 - J A N U A RY 9 , 2 0 1 3 CALL 215-735-8444
Village Belle Restaurant and Bar
It’s chilly outside, stop in to try our new winter beers Book your holiday parties now! Let us do all the Cooking and Cleaning. Gift Certificates Available 757 South Front St Corner of Fitzwater Street in Queens Village 215-551-2200 www.thevillagebelle.com
Building Blocks to Total Fitness
12 Years of experience. Offering personal fitness training, nutrition counseling, and flexibility training. Specialize in osteoporosis, injuries, special needs. In home or at 12th Street Gym. MCKFitness@yahoo.com
FREE DRINKING SMARTPHONE APP!!!
City Paper is very pleased to bring you our very first smartphone app! Just go to www.citypaper.net and click our martini glass icon to find out more, or type in ‘Happy Hours in the app store, android marketplace, or blackberry app world. Click the orange martini icon and get drinking. No matter where you go or when you go, you can find the nearest happy hours to you with a single click! You can even sort through bars by preference or neighborhood.
TOP PRICES PAID. No collection too small or large! We buy everything! Call Jon at 215-805-8001 or e-mail dingo15@hotmail.com
STUDY GUITAR W/ THE BEST David Joel Guitar Studio
17 Rotating Drafts Close to 200 Bottles
www.devilsdenphilly.com www.facebook.com/devilsdenphiladelphia www.twitter.com/devilsdenphilly
LE BUS SANDWICHES AT THE EL BAR!?!?! It’s true! They’re here and delivered daily! 1356 North Front Street 215-634-6430
LAS VEGAS LOUNGE
SEMEN DONORS NEEDED
Healthy, College Educated Men 18-39 ~ $150/Sample WWW.123DONATE.COM
DINNER
Pizzeria DiMeo’s
GIFT CERTIFICATES AVAILABLE
BIZARRE BAZAAR Curios, Cool-lectibles, Gifts, Stuff you didn’t know you wanted! 720 South 5th St.
Fashion Fetish?
200+ steel boned corsets in stock size S-8XL Rubber-Leather-KiltsMore by 26 designers. PASSIONAL Boutique 704 S. 5th St. Noon-10PM, 7 days a week www.passionalboutique.com
ACHTUNG BABY, BGIERSTUBE B ERMAN IERGARTEN BURGERS, BRATS AND 200+ BEERS FO SHIZZLE MA SCHNITZEL! 206 Market St. 215-922-2958
A HOUSE OF LAGERS
Mon-Wed 5pm-2am, Thurs-Sun 11am-2am
Reser vations at www.mybierstube.com
WANTS TO WISH EVERYONE A HAPPY NEW YEAR LIVE MUSIC THURSDAY JANUARY 10TH TUES-THURS 5-10, FRI-SAT 5-11,
So long: Last Year! HELLO: 2013! The Future will be:
Serving 20 oz Drafts, NOT 16. SIZE DOES MATTER. 704 Chestnut Street 215-592-9533 www.LasVegasLounge.com
village belle
FREE PIZZA! $2 BEER OF THE WEEK! $2 WELL DRINKS! IT’S AMAZING! PASSYUNK AVE (7th & CARPENTER) 215-465-5505 myspace.com/thedivebar
$2 OFF ALL DRAFTS $3 WELL DRINKS $5 HAPPY HOUR MENU Only at the Abbaye 637 N. 3rd Street (215) 627-6711 www.THEABBAYE.net
TEQUILA SUNRISE RECORDS
WEEKDAYS 5-7PM
HAPPY HOUR AT THE DIVE
HAPPY HOUR AT THE ABBAYE
All Styles All Levels. Former Berklee faculty member. Masters Degree with 27 yrs. teaching experience. 215.831.8640 www.myphillyguitarlessons.com
½ PRICED DRAFTS
Philadelphia Eddies 621 Tattoo Haven 621 South 4th St (Middle of Tattoo Row) 215-922-7384 Open 7 Days
Voted “Top 50 Pizzas in the Country” Ristorante Napoletano True wood-fired Neapolitan Pizza BYOB 8500 Henry Ave. (Andora Shopping Center) 215-621-6134 full menu at www.pizzeriadimeos.com
I BUY RECORDS, CD’S, DVD’S
525 West Girard Ave VINYL AND CD SPECIALISTS CLASSIC & MODERN GLOBAL SOUNDS HOUSE TECHNO DUBSTEP DUB DISCO FUNK SOUL JAZZ DIY PUNK LSD ROCK AND LIGHT HARMONY ROOTS BLUES NOISE AVANT AND MORE TUESDAY-SUNDAY 12-6PM 01-215-965-9616
AWARD WINNING, WORLD FAMOUS CUSTOM STUDIO ARTISTIC TATTOOING!
LUNCH, SAT 11-4,
SUN BRUNCH 10:30-3:30
MENTION THIS AD FOR A FREE GLASS OF WINE
757 south front street, at fitzwater 215-551-2200 www.thevillagebelle.com