Philadelphia City Paper, February 14th, 2013 by Philadelphia City Paper

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the naked city

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Publisher Nancy Stuski Editor in Chief Theresa Everline Senior Editor Patrick Rapa News Editor Samantha Melamed Arts Editor/Copy Chief Emily Guendelsberger Food Editor/Listings Editor Caroline Russock Staff Writers Ryan Briggs, Daniel Denvir Associate Digital Media Editor Josh Middleton Assistant Copy Editor Carolyn Wyman Contributors Sam Adams, A.D. Amorosi, Rodney Anonymous, Mary Armstrong, Meg Augustin, Justin Bauer, Shaun Brady, Peter Burwasser, Ryan Carey, Mark Cofta, Jesse Delaney, Alison Dell, Adam Erace, M.J. Fine, David Anthony Fox, Michael Gold, K. Ross Hoffman, Brian Howard, Deni Kasrel, Gary M. Kramer, Drew Lazor, Gair â&#x20AC;&#x153;Dev 79â&#x20AC;? Marking, Robert McCormick, Andrew Milner, Annette Monnier, Michael Pelusi, Elliott Sharp, Tom Tomorrow, John Vettese, Julia West, Brian Wilensky Editorial Interns Naveed Ahsan, Dotun Akintoye, Jessica Bergman, Catherine Haas, ZoĂŤ Kirsch, Kelly Lawler, Joseph Poteracki, Sameer Rao, Marc Snitzer, Carly Szkaradnik Associate Web Editor/Staff Photographer Neal Santos Production Director Michael Polimeno Editorial Art Director Reseca Peskin Senior Designer Evan M. Lopez Editorial Designers Brenna Adams, Matt Egger Contributing Photographers Jessica Kourkounis, Mark Stehle Contributing Illustrators Ryan Casey, Don Haring Jr., Joel Kimmel, Cameron K. Lewis, Thomas Pitilli, Matthew Smith Human Resources Ron Scully (ext. 210) Circulation Director Mark Burkert (ext. 239) Senior Account Managers Colette Alexandre (ext. 250), Nick Cavanaugh (ext. 260), Sharon MacWilliams (ext. 262), Stephan Sitzai (ext. 258) Account Managers Sara Carano (ext. 228), Jonathan Morein (ext. 249), Chris Scartelli (ext. 215), Donald Snyder (ext. 213) Marketing/Online Coordinator Jennifer Francano (ext. 252) Office Coordinator/Adult Advertising Sales Alexis Pierce (ext. 234) Founder & Editor Emeritus Bruce Schimmel

123 Chestnut Street, Third Floor, Phila., PA 19106. 215-735-8444, Tip Line 215-7358444 ext. 241, Letters to the Editor editorial@citypaper.net, Listings Fax 215-8751800, Classified Ads 215-248-CITY, Advertising Fax 215-735-8535, Subscriptions 215-735-8444 ext. 235 Philadelphia City Paper is published and distributed every Thursday in Philadelphia, Montgomery, Chester, Bucks & Delaware Counties, in South Jersey and in Northern Delaware. Philadelphia City Paper is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. Additional copies may be purchased from our main office at $1 per copy. No person may, without prior written permission from Philadelphia City Paper, take more than one copy of each issue. Pennsylvania law prohibits any person from inserting printed material of any kind into any newspaper without the consent of the owner or publisher. Contents copyright ÂŠ 2012, Philadelphia City Paper. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced without written permission from the publisher. Philadelphia City Paper assumes no obligation (other than cancellation of charges for actual space occupied) for accidental errors in advertising, but will be glad to furnish a signed letter to the buying public.

contents Clear eyes, full hearts, canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t lose.

The Naked City .........................................................................8 Arts & Entertainment.........................................................20 Movies.........................................................................................28 The Agenda ..............................................................................30 Food & Drink ...........................................................................38 COVER PHOTOGRAPH BY NEAL SANTOS DESIGN BY RESECA PESKIN

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the naked city

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naked

the thebellcurve CP’s Quality-o-Life-o-Meter

[ -2 ]

Food Network star Guy Fieri films at several restaurants around town. Now everything tastes like liquid smoke, Drakkar Noir and forearm sweat.

[ -3 ]

A former amateur exotic dancer sues Delilah’s Den following a 2011 incident in which she severed her thumb. Delilah’s argues that, if anything, she’s more exotic than ever.

[ -6 ]

Police recover a handgun at a city school for the second time in two weeks. So: Hide your guns better, kids.

[0]

The United Way launches a 211 hotline in the area. “We don’t know what it’s for, either,” admits spokesperson.

[0]

Researchers are trying to determine what will become of city-owned buildings once they’re no longer used as schools. Working hypothesis: ghost condos.

[ + 1 ] Vice President Biden comes to Philly for a

meeting on gun control. Somehow winds up shooting two clowns and an ostrich in the face. LOL. Classic Biden gaffe!

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[ + 1 ] A 33-story, $158.5 million dorm complex

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city

for Penn students will be built near the Cira Center. And hey, Drexel students: They’re hiring elevator operators and bellhops!

[ -3 ]

A judge declares a mistrial when a defendant’s glass eye pops out as he’s recalling the incident that cost him his eye. It was the only dry eye in the courtroom.

[ + 1 ] The Navy Yard now hosts 130 companies

and 10,000 employees. So it’s no big deal if a battleship full of people slips into a timespace vortex every once in awhile.

[0]

Comcast’s new X1 service offers options like voice-operated controls via iPhone and cable remotes that Tweet. They’re also working on a DVR that Instagrams, a modem that makes coffee and an Australian-style toilet that shoots poop right up your butt.

[ -1 ]

Bart Blatstein sells his controlling interest in the Piazza at Schmidts to a New York real-estate firm. “I sense a change coming,” says the lady in the artisanal tumbleweed boutique.

This week’s total: -12 | Last week’s total: 6

OPEN SEASON: Activists pack a City Council hearing on school closures while Superintendent William Hite testifies. NEAL SANTOS

[ education ]

CLOSING ARGUMENTS Parents and the school district fight over the future of Philly public education. By Daniel Denvir

s a sixth-grade student and the student-body president at Jay Cooke Elementary in Logan, Jenna Lee has a hard time not taking the proposed closing of her school personally. “I was, like, where is this coming from? Because we just got … a new computer lab,” she says, adding that Cooke also has extracurricular programs, including instrumental music and a soccer team. “And now they’re trying to shut us down,” she says. “I was very upset with the decision.” It may feel personal, but Jenna is just one of 17,000 students set to be relocated under a plan outlined by Philadelphia School District Superintendent William Hite, who contends that closing 37 schools will ultimately save $28 million a year for a school district that projects a $1.1 billion deficit over five years. Parents, teachers and community members are outraged. The Philadelphia Federation of Teachers and the Philadelphia Coalition Advocating for Public Schools (PCAPS) have put forward an alternative proposal that calls for curbing the rapid expansion of charter schools, de-emphasizing standardized tests and ending state control of city schools. In the neighborhoods, the message is blunter still: Don’t close our school. Four thousand people, according to the district, have attended 14 community meetings. Last month, City Council called for a one-year moratorium on closings.

Cooke students are set to be relocated to Logan Elementary, Grover Washington Middle School or Steel Elementary in Nicetown. Steel alumnus, Concerned Neighbors of Nicetown leader and fourth-generation Nicetown resident Charisma Presley, 32, took City Paper on the 1.2-mile walk that Cooke students would have to make to her former school, passing abandoned houses and crossing busy arterials, including Germantown Avenue, Broad Street and Old York Road. “Parents are concerned,” says Presley, who worries that an influx of displaced students could overwhelm Steel. “The hazard would be the busy streets and the type of people that be out there,” says Janice, Cooke’s crossing guard. “Alcoholics. Drug dealers. Prostitutes. And just in general: It’s just dangerous.” Most students, she says, walk to school. “It’s a lot of bad neighborhoods,” says Jenna of the walk home she’d have if Cooke closes. Her best friend Selena chimes in: No offense, but she does not want to attend Grover. “I live right there.” She points across the street. “It’s clean and it’s a good school. But my dad didn’t want me taking the SEPTA by myself, so he might have to drive his car and take me there. And that wouldn’t be good. … His car isn’t acting good right now.” Though Hite has said that programs will follow students to new schools, some worry the district will botch the transition. Last year’s transfer of 38 students from Drew Elementary to Powel allegedly led to behavior problems and stretched the special-education program thin, the Philadelphia Public School Notebook

“Now, they’re trying to shut us down.”

>>> continued on page 10

the naked city

[ a million stories ]

✚ GOING WEST After a dozen years of convincing Northern Liberties residents that he was, as a PhillyMag profile last year described it, “one of us” (that is, “his offices, his work and much of his soul are in Northern Liberties”), developer Bart Blatstein is moving on. The one-man brand behind Tower Investments, seen as a driving force in the rapid gentrification of the neighborhood, sold off a majority stake in his Piazza and Liberties Walk developments. And, he told Logan Square residents last fall, he’s moving offices, too — to be closer to where his soul seems to be now: at his much-hyped proposed casino site on North Broad Street. The Piazza, he told them, just isn’t his demographic anymore, filled as it is with “all these pretty girls [who] call me ‘sir’ and ‘mister.’”

While most eyes are, like Blatstein’s, locked on his destination, it’s worth looking at what’s left behind:A series of mixed-use developments with mixed degrees of success — and some gaping holes. Not part of the estimated $130 million deal: Shops at Schmidts, a partly vacant commercial development at Second and Girard that brought a needed supermarket to the area, but abuts acres of unpaved dirt that serve as a parking lot lined with tangles of chain link. Development of 600 housing units there, proposed in 2010, hasn’t materialized; meanwhile, the Northern Liberties Neighbors Association (NLNA) is fighting Blatstein and the city zoning board over his plans to slash parking on site from 500 spaces to 105. This land could see its fate decided in court — for now it shows no signs of being anything but a sprawling parking lot. (Tower didn’t respond to requests for comment.) Matt Ruben, who heads the NLNA, says those residential units remain vital:“Increasing the population density is the only way

to ensure that the businesses in that area can be sustained.” Meanwhile, several other Blatstein properties, like the old Ortlieb’s brewery, are “empty and rotting,” Ruben says. “It causes blight in that part of the neighborhood.” Still, Ruben says, as far as developers go, “I can’t really fault him for leaving midstream, because he’s stayed so much longer than anybody else.” —Samantha Melamed

✚ IN THE DOGHOUSE Over the past week, a handful of neighbors around Palmer Street in Fishtown were watching the dropping temperatures with alarm. The cause for concern: an outdoor dog, seen “shivering” in the cold and covered with snow, “like he had nowhere warm to go.” When calls to the Pennsylvania SPCA didn’t yield immediate results, neighbors took matters into their own hands — several delivering food and water, one hopping the fence to line the seemingly rickety wooden doghouse with old clothes, and a few others taking it further: dropping an entire plastic igloo-style hut over the fence, along with hay for insulation. On Saturday night, at least four neighbors stopped by to chat with the owner, offering to take the dog off his hands. He was not impressed with their generosity. Wendy Marano, a spokeswoman for the PSCPA, says this debate is nothing new. “We answer hundreds of calls, and they spike … whenever there’s extreme weather.” Calls tend to double during a cold snap. But on Palmer Street, the owner — who professed his dog to be, at heart, an “outdoor dog” — wasn’t breaking any rules. Marano doesn’t like it any better than the neighbors do, but it’s the law that counts — and the owner “meets the letter of the law.” Still, she encourages pet owners to bring animals in from the cold. “We see this every winter, every heat wave; there are animals people kind of rally around,” she says. “It’s heartbreaking.” —S.M.

Mardi Gras on South Street MICHELE FRENTROP

FUND & GAMES ³ THE WILLIAM PENN Foundation suspended grant-making to city-related agencies after public-education advocates filed an ethics complaint charging that the $2 billion philanthropy violated Philly’s new lobbying code when it funded and directed millions of outside dollars to pay the Boston Consulting Group (BCG) to develop a controversial restructuring plan for the School District of Philadelphia. “The Foundation wants to ensure our full compliance with the ordinance and is awaiting further clarification with regard to its scope concerning permissible grant activity,” interim president Helen Davis Picher explained in an email. Some see it differently: “It’s definitely intended to be punitive to the city,” says one City Hall employee, speaking on condition of anonymity. Others see hardball tactics geared to pressure the city Ethics Board to expedite its ruling, influence its outcome or embarrass the activists who filed the complaint. The city received a letter announcing the decision in reference to a grant application related to Bartram’s Mile, a proposed 1.1-mile trail extension linking the east and west sides of the Schuylkill River. “We will be talking with representatives of the foundation to understand why they are taking this approach and why … they have concerns,” says administration spokesman Mark McDonald. The Mayor’s Office did not indicate what city-related agency applied for the grant. Improving access to Philadelphia’s waterfronts is a core William Penn initiative. Public-education activists denounced the suspension. Parents United for Public Education, one of the organizations that filed the complaint, said in a statement that William Penn is holding “libraries and gardens accountable for improper actions for which the Foundation itself should assume accountability.” Parents United and other advocacy groups claim William Penn violated the lobbying code by failing to register as a principal when it solicited funds from donors for lobbying purposes. They also say BCG should have registered as a lobbyist for proposing to close schools and increase private management. Michael Churchill, a lawyer with the Public Interest Law Center of Philadelphia who analyzed the BCG funding for the complainants, calls cutting off grant-making “entirely unnecessary.” Paying a third party to work inside the School District, he says, was the concern. In December, BCG told CP it was “hired as a consultant to the school district. ... None of our activities on behalf of the district constituted lobbying.” —Daniel Denvir

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✚ Closing Arguments

[ the naked city ]

<<< continued from page 8

reported. ³ THE DISTRICT SAYS that it took building uti-

lization, cost, building condition and academic performance into account when proposing school closures. Cooke is at just 42-percent utilization, and fewer than half of all students score proficient in math and reading. Cooke’s test scores have also shown statistically improbable swings in the wake of an investigation of cheating at dozens of Philadelphia schools. But schools described as “low performing” often look different up close: Teachers, students and parents doing their best to deal with a difficult situation. “When you deny a school resources,” says Presley, “you set them up to fail.” Ninety-four percent of Cooke students are “economically disadvantaged,” and 86 percent are African-American. “I don’t think they need to close this school. It’s the only school in the area,” says Pearl Dumbarton, 63, who volunteers at Cooke. “We’re at every meeting. We’re everywhere we have to be to fight this.” For Philly schools, disruption has long been the norm: The 2001 state takeover, the standardizedtesting craze driven by No Child Left Behind and the scandals surrounding former Superintendent Arlene Ackerman are just a few examples. Personal stability proves similarly elusive for many families in Philadelphia’s impoverished neighborhoods. Forty percent of high-school students affected by last year’s closings are now in schools slated to close, according to the Notebook. “My son’s only been here for two years, and he was starting to get the hang of things,” says Lisa Garrison, whose second-grader is in a special-education program at Cooke. She is considering leaving the city altogether if the school closes. “He’s excelled for a matter of months. And I wanted him to be comfortable with the staff.” At Steel, parents worry that throwing together children from communities with longstanding rivalries will lead to fights. “It would definitely be tension, neighborhood versus neighborhood — that goes on a lot,” says Yasmeen Ponder, who has children at Steel. “The teasing and the bullying … it would be trouble if they know that the person is from the other neighborhood.” The proposal to close nearby Germantown High School and relocate students to Martin Luther King has raised concerns about similar clashes. The School Reform Commission will hold another round of community meetings in the coming weeks and vote on proposed closings on March 7. ³ THE SCHOOL DISTRICT hopes to make $15

million by 2015 from selling closed buildings. But shuttered schools in cities nationwide, often obsolete structures in depopulated neighborhoods, have typically sold for far less than projected, according to a Pew report released Monday. “The challenge of finding new uses for old buildings is daunting, and the downside of letting them sit idle can be significant,” the authors conclude. “The buildings can become eyesores, magnets for illicit activities and symbols of neigh-

borhood decline.” Philadelphia’s school-facilitysales record has been mixed. In Hunting Park, metal scrappers have descended on the closed Roberto Clemente School, creating a safety hazard, while buildings located in gentrifying areas, like the old West Philadelphia High School, quickly sold for residential reuse. But Pew’s study found that 40 percent of disposed properties in 12 cities nationwide ultimately went to charter schools. In Philly, charter enrollment has grown by 75 percent over the past six years. Philadelphia has a policy of offering discounted prices to nonprofit and educational groups, including charters. Each student who leaves a district school for a charter costs the district $7,000, further compounding the district’s dire

“The buildings can become eyesores.” financial straits. The criticism that charters undermine neighborhood schools and the district’s finances has been central to the current debate. Though the school district’s budget projects a $100 million boost in charterschool spending, Hite has called for limiting charter growth and improving oversight of the independently operated but publicly funded schools, which have varied academic records and have, at times, been at the center of corruption scandals. School closings are concentrated in low-income black communities. Last month, it was announced that the U.S. Department of Education’s Office of Civil Rights would investigate complaints that last year’s closings were racially discriminatory. The district contends that this is exactly the point: Low-income students of color are disproportionately forced to study in underperforming schools. District enrollment has declined >>> continued on page 12

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[ the naked city ]

✚ Closing Arguments <<< continued from page 10

Corbett cut Philly schools’ funding by $270 million. by 27 percent over the past decade, and most students continue to test below proficiency levels in math and reading. But most schools set to receive displaced students are, according to a recent Notebook analysis, similarly low-performing.

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³ THE DEBATE IS taking place in

the shadow of last year’s proposal to radically restructure the school district. That proposal, drafted by the Boston Consulting Group and funded by the William Penn Foundation and numerous pro-charter advocates, called for closing 40 schools, reorganizing remaining schools under “achievement networks” that could be privately managed, and downsizing the central office to 200. The proposal also called for privatizing the district’s blue-collar workforce. The so-called “Blueprint for Transformation” was a pro-corporate-education-reform plan to “rightsize” the district after Gov. Tom Corbett cut state funding to Philly schools by $270 million over the past two years. Increased local contributions from property-tax hikes made up less than half the lost funding. The district has already closed eight schools since Corbett took office and cut staff by 3,700. In a statement, the Pennsylvania Department of Education “commended [the SRC and Hite] for recognizing that Philadelphia School District is different today than it was 10-15 years ago and working to realign … resources.” After massive protests greeted the Blueprint, components of it were put on hold. And it is unclear how many schools will actually be closed. The school district is currently reviewing 38 alternative proposals from community members. The school district may well be testing the waters with its proposal, preparing to offer reprieves to the best-organized schools. Last year, the SRC outlined plans to shutter 10 schools, but left Edwin M. Stanton and Isaac Sheppard Elementary schools open after parents organized. “The initial recommendations were proposals, not forgone conclusions in every case,” Hite told a skeptical City Council at a hearing on school closures on Tuesday. He said that he would soon make a revised proposal to the SRC. (daniel.denvir@citypaper.net)

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TASTE IS INTRODUCING A NEW SHADE OF AMBER ! # "

# TA S T E I S

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ÂŠ2013 A-B, BudweiserÂŽ Black Crown Lager, St. Louis, MO

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Cameron’s Seafood Market

[ the naked city ]

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*Special Platters Fried or Broiled Red Snapper Platter…... $9.99 Broied Mahi Mahi Platter……………….$8.99 Broiled Chilean Sea Bass Platter………..$12.99 Fried Oyster Platter…….……………….$7.99 Fried or Broiled Bluefish Platter…………$5.99 Seafood Linguine………………………..$11.99 Fried or Broiled Rainbow Trout Platter….$7.99 Broiled Ultimate Seafood Platter………..$12.99 Crab Cake Sub (Fries Only)……………...$7.99 Fried Fish Hoagie (Fries Only)……….....$6.99 Platters are served only with French Fries & Cole Slaw or Rice & Broccoli

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the naked city

BONNE ANNEE 2013 HAPPY NEW YEAR!

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A L’ECOLE FRANCAISE You Will Love Your French Classes & Amaze Yourself! Registration any time and also Saturday, 2/16 from 9am to 12 noon. alecolefrancaise.com 610.660.9645

HOW FAR WOULD YOU GO TO SAVE YOUR SON LOG ON TO WWW.GOFOBO.COM/RSVP AND ENTER THE RSVP CODE CITYS9UF TO DOWNLOAD TWO “ADMIT-ONE” PASSES. WHILE SUPPLIES LAST.

IN THEATERS FEBRUARY 22 www.snitch-movie.com

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NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. Limit two passes per person while supplies last. Theater is overbooked to ensure a full house. Arrive early. Passes received through this promotion do not guarantee admission. Seating is on a first-come, first-served basis, except for members of the reviewing press. This film is rated PG-13 for drug content and sequences of violence. Must be 13 years of age or older to download passes and attend screening. Anti-piracy security will be in place at this screening. By attending, you agree to comply with all security requirements. All federal, state, and local regulations apply. Summit, Philadelphia City Paper and their affiliates accept no responsibility or liability in connection with any loss or accident incurred in connection with use of a prize. Passes cannot be exchanged, transferred, or redeemed for cash, in whole or in part. We are not responsible for lost, delayed, or misdirected entries, phone failures, or tampering. Void where prohibited by law.

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PHOTO BY: Neal Santos

THE PRACTICAL GUIDE TO VALENTINE’S DAY

REPORTED BY: Theresa Everline, Emily Guendelsberger, Zoë Kirsch,

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Samantha Melamed, Caroline Russock and Marc Snitzer

Q: How can I get a date? ANSWER: You have to market yourself well. That means taking new photos for your online profile versus using the best of the crappy photos you already have. Don’t use the selfies you snapped last weekend when you were buzzed after Quizzo. Instead, put some effort in, stand in natural light and have a friend take great shots. In your profile, don’t say that Saw and Human Centipede are your favorite movies. Instead, write, “I’m really into psychological thrillers.” Psychological thrillers equal interesting. Human Centipede equals creepy and weird. Above all else, you need to advertise for

the type of person you’re trying to attract. If you want to land a liberal, progressive-minded marriage-equality activist, you have to use keywords that will resonate with him or her. Likewise, you need to target the appropriate audience. If that activist description fits you, then don’t sign up for a profile on ChristianSingles.com. —Amy Webb, CEO of Webbmedia Group, author of Data, A Love Story and former City Paper staff writer (2003-2004)

Q: How do I set the mood? ANSWER: First, I’d choose mating

partners that were healthy — a male that looks vibrant and colorful, and a female full of eggs. After choosing a suitable pair, I’d put them in an enclosed space with a mesh barrier separating them. Maybe add some plants for ambiance. Keep the temperature warm. Make sure there was plenty to drink. Let them sit like that overnight, knowing that the other was just across a thin barrier. In the morning, when the sun came up, I’d remove the barrier and let ’em at each other. —Emma Fried-Cassorla, formerly tasked with getting fish to reproduce at a Penn lab, current proprietor of the Philly Love Notes blog

Q: When will I fall in love? ANSWER: Usually what happens is when someone is going to fall in love, you’ll see that their aura is brighter, their energy is stronger and pulls in better people. So usually when someone is about to fall in love, it shows how love is being attracted to them. It automatically rejuvenates their whole

aura. You can see in them, “Oh, wow, that’s a very happy person and love is on the way.” As a matter of fact, if you’re well connected to your own intuition, you can tell by the way someone stands and holds themselves. It’s just like seeing if someone is about to go into a very good financial deal or success is right around the corner for them. I do all types of readings. Any reading, whether it is a palm reading, a psychic reading, an aura or chakra reading, or a face and eye reading, these can always tell you what’s coming up when it comes to situations of love, friendships, relationships, personalities or careers. It can all be told in your palm or any type of energy reading because your energy is always telling us what’s happening. Your aura is always telling you what’s going on with you at that moment. And chakras are inside

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— Anna Marks, Philadelphia Psychic Center

Q: How should I behave at a romantic dinner?

—Ryan Mulholland, general manager, Vernick Food & Drink

Q: How can I know when I’ve found The One? ANSWER: The question of how to know when you’ve found The One is a big one. A lot hangs on it: Should you move in together? Buy a house? Have children? But before you answer those questions, you must answer the bigger question

of how we can know anything at all. As limited and fallible creatures, our perceptions don’t distinguish between how things really are and how they would be in some alternative matrix or dreamlike world. Even putting aside that concern, another remains: The fact that your loved one says the right things and makes the right expressions isn’t enough to guarantee that he or she isn’t a mindless zombie or an impressively designed robot. Recent work in epistemology suggests, counterintuitively, that whether

Q: How do I cope with heartbreak? ANSWER: There’s always an argument over what was the most heartbreaking moment as an Eagles fan. My first heartbreak — and that’s the most important one when you equate football with love — that’s the one that hurts the most, because it also happened in the proximity of my first

PUT A SUITABLE PAIR IN AN ENCLOSED SPACE WITH A MESH BARRIER SEPARATING THEM. we know something depends on our practical interests. Rutgers philosopher Jason Stanley offers these two examples: In the first one, Hannah bikes by the bank to deposit her paycheck late on Friday but notices that the line is quite long. She has no upcoming bills, so it doesn’t matter whether she deposits it that day. She was there on Saturday two weeks before, so she knows the bank is open Saturday and she can deposit it then. In the second case, Hannah must deposit the check before her rent is due Monday. Even though Hannah was there two weeks before, she realizes that banks sometimes change their hours. In this case, she no longer knows the bank will be open Saturday. Stanley and others attribute this difference in knowing to a change in

major breakup with a real girlfriend. When I was 17, the Eagles lost to the Atlanta Falcons on a last-second field goal. “Devastated” doesn’t really describe what I felt that night. It’s that pain that nobody can take away, if you’re a sports fan or if you’re in love, and it starts feeling good after a while. You want to sit in it — but you just feel stupid and used: “Why am I going through this? I’m never going to do this again, and I’ll be mean to every chick I ever date.” Recently we’ve gotten used to it, because it’s been 14 years of seasons ending the same: You’re so close and then they blow it. Now I just expect it to go wrong. The psychology would be like those guys who sabotage relationships to make sure they don’t get hurt. You try not to invest yourself.

— Phil Allen, aka Phil from Mount Airy, host of NFL Postgame Show and weekend host on 97.5 The Fanatic (editorial@citypaper.net)

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ANSWER: There are of course plenty of dos and don’ts as a guest in a restaurant. Some of the don’ts: waving at your server, interrupting them while they are with another guest or anything that disrupts other diners. Seeing as Valentine’s is around the corner, PDA would be on the horizon as one of these disruptions. Everyone dining in a restaurant understands that this is a romantic evening. However, when a romantic glance or clasped hands across the table escalates to heavy petting or a make-out session, often a manager has to step in. On my very first day as a restaurant manager, I encountered this very situation. Fortunately, the restaurant was in a hotel. I politely told the guests that I had checked with the front desk and that there were several vacancies if they would like to book a room. Thankfully, humor often works out well in these situations.

—Daniel J. Singer, assistant professor of philosophy, University of Pennsylvania

The problem is, without knowing, you do anyway — and then they rip your throat out. I go into the games knowing, “You’re gonna lose.” I do stupid stuff like bet against them, so when they lose I at least get some money out of it, but that feels so wrong. I just try to know they’re never going to win. I’ll never see a Super Bowl — because that’s all I really want in my life. I just tell myself: “Face it, we’re a city of losers. We live in what is commonly known as sports hell, so expect the worst.” After a bad loss, I don’t turn on the TV, don’t turn on the radio, don’t watch SportsCenter, don’t buy the paper. I go into denial. I start listening to music and I act as if sports don’t exist. You laugh to keep from crying, you make jokes about it. Then, it’s anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance: You go through the same psychological process you go through when you have the death of a loved one or the loss of a true love. It used to manifest itself in fighting: Opposing teams fans would get beat up; that’s how we would cope. Now you can’t even fight anymore. So eventually, you go: “Let’s just face it: It’s not meant to be.” Ultimately, I’m an incurable romantic. I think the pain is worth falling in love. My belief is, it’s worth being hurt. You can’t appreciate the pain without something that made you so effing happy. Love ain’t supposed to turn out right, and neither is sports.

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what’s at stake. In slogan form, it’s harder to know when a lot is riding on it. If you want to know whether you’ve found The One, a similar lesson may apply. It’s easier to know if the question is detached from the practical, logistical and financial concerns that depend on it. But if you want to know how to do that, you need a lawyer, therapist or financial planner, not a philosopher.

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of your aura. They’re basically your elements, placed all around the body. The base chakra, which is red, is your love and your foundation. When you read each one of them, they will let you know if you are aligned or balanced. However, if you’re looking for advice, my element is to always carry and approach someone with a smile.

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icepack By A.D. Amorosi

³ PHILLY’S ART WORLD gets a good shake-up

in March when the Fleisher/Ollman Gallerymoves from its long-familiar location at 1616 Walnut St. to a new and larger spot (5,000 square feet) at 1216 Arch St. For real-estate peeps keeping score, that’s 1616 Walnut’s second departure of the week: F/O’s tony downstairs neighbor, clothier Joan Shepp, got shown the door last week and will relocate ASAP. “The building is being transformed into apartments and all tenants are vacating,” explains Fleisher/ Ollman gallery director Alex Baker.“We selected 1216 Arch St., 5A, because the ceilings are much higher than our current location, making it airier and good for large sculpture.” Baker’s already a fan of his new neighbors, like Fabric Workshop and other Chinatown-area alterna-spaces: “We’re in a reputable art neighborhood.” F/O’s tentative debut on April 4 is “Outsiderism,”just in time to connect with Philadelphia Museum of Art outré-exhibition “Great and Mighty Things” that opens March 3. ³ Art lovers hungry to spend money can hit up Feb. 15’s annual InLiquid art auction at the Ice Box/Crane Building.But beware: The bidding has already started at inliquid.org/auction. ³Your week in chef shake-ups, starting with Walter Abrams leaving Le Bec Fin, continues with critically acclaimed chef George Sabatino departing my East Passyunk neighborhood’s Stateside. Wow, that. He’s off to do his own thing, with fiancee/booze expert Jennifer Conley. ³ Kinda-sorta Philly DJ Diplo and his daring dancehall-dubstep outfit Major Lazer suddenly moved the release date for Free the Universe from Feb. 19 to the big “TBD,” according to PR folk Biz3. No word as to why as yet. ³ There’s an “interior extension” note on the door of the closed-since-September Rum Bar (20th and Walnut sts.). We know nobody’s busting through walls to the neighboring jewelry shop (they got a long lease). We’ve heard rumors that the space’s owner Michael Singer has a tight hold on the address’ liquor license. So, does this mean the soon-tobecome-two-floor location will become Singer’s first self-run bar? Or does Jonathan MyerowofTria have something to do with it? We hear that whoever winds up taking it is looking for “sidewalk presence” to boot. ³ Before its new show (Edith Can Shoot Things and Hit Them) hits the ground running on March 8, Theatre Confetti will hold a benefit they’re calling Umami at Power Plant Studios (233 N. Bread St.) on Feb. 20. The troupe will get help from gastro-scientific chef Shola Olunloyo, just-back-from-Switzerland saxophonist Elliott Levin and his West Philly Orchestra and more. ³ Guess what? Icepack gets illustrated every Thursday on City Paper’s A&E blog Critical Mass at citypaper.net/criticalmass. (a_amorosi@citypaper.net)

PREVIOUSLY ON ALL MY CIRCUITS: Intelligent Robotics Lab director Ishiguro Hiroshi drew inspiration from traditional Japanese art forms. TSUKASA AOKI

[ theater/uncanny valley ]

WAITING FOR ROBOT Live Arts sets the stage for our new thespianandroid overlords. By Shaun Brady

ne thing that all human beings, regardless of race, creed or nationality, can probably agree on is that it is a great disappointment that, more than a dozen years into the 21st century, we still don’t have armies of robots to do our menial bidding. Motorized Frisbees sweeping up our dust bunnies hardly count. The Jetsons promised us sassy android maids; Isaac Asimov foresaw benevolent android helpmates we could occasionally frame for murder. Hell, even Dennis DeYoung figured he’d have to disguise himself as one to escape our tyrannical overlords. But he and Styx got one thing right: Our eventual robotic workforce will inevitably be constructed from parts made in Japan. If the Uncanny Valley was a place on the map, it would be a casual day trip from Tokyo. The latest sign of hope for our mechanized future comes not on the factory floor but on the theater stage. Robot-Human Theater, a collaboration between Japan’s Seinendan Theater Company and Osaka University’s Intelligent Robotics Laboratory, comes to Philly this weekend under the auspices of the Philadelphia Live Arts Festival and Philly Fringe. Both of the two short plays that make up Robot-Human Theater question the boundary between man and machine. “I, Worker” deals with a robot that loses its motivation to work alongside a man going through a similar struggle, questioning the worth of both; “Sayonara”

features an android consoling a girl suffering from a fatal illness. The performances are among Live Arts’ first forays into yearround programming, soon to be housed in a new headquarters on the Delaware River waterfront. “This is emblematic of the great things that are possible,” says president and producing director Nick Stuccio. “It’s more than a robotics team displaying the robots that they built. Here’s a fantastical — or is it? — view into the future.” Playwright and director Oriza Hirata, Seinendan’s founder, definitely sees his pair of plays as a sign of things to come. “I believe all Broadway stuntmen will become androids within 10 years,” he says via email. “If this technology had been developed quicker, then [the legendarily troubled Broadway adaptation of] Spider-Man would have been out in the public quicker.” Whether or not that particular debacle is the best example, Intelligent Robotics Lab director Ishiguro Hiroshi claims that scientists have much to learn from artists. “We robotics researchers are trying to build humanlike robots that work in our daily situations,” Hiroshi explains. “But we do not know how to make humanlike behaviors in natural situations. We are learning many ideas on it from the theater.” For now, according to Hiroshi, Actors’ Equity doesn’t have too much to worry about. The robot actors aren’t autonomous; they don’t recognize or react to the actors, but “can precisely replay, and actors adapt to them.” Hiroshi’s description of Hirata’s methods blurs the line a little

“Broadway stuntmen will become androids.”

>>> continued on page 22

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[ cowards and consumers unite and fight ] ³ folk/troubadour

Drifting beyond their early singles’ post-dubstep futurism and their first LP’s muted cyborg-noir sucker-punch, News From Nowhere (Warp) finds seasoned bafflers Darkstar swerving even further into uncharted territory. And the news is good: Nowhere turns out to be a pillowy, paisley wonderland with swathes of rosy, electrotinted somnambulance woven around James Buttery’s dappled coos and bedazzled with psych-pop jewels like “Amplified Ease” that suggest a better-medicated Animal Collective.

Say you’re already feeling like life’s too vivid and dramatic — don’t look to Mary Gauthier for respite in some nice folkie watercolor impressions. Nobody sits through one of her sets without a bit of squirming. Live at Blue Rock (marygauthier.com) is a testament to the power of her familiar songs. Just three musicians — guitar, fiddle and percussion — plus two voices add up to barely corralled energy in some spots and head-shaking sighs in others. —Mary Armstrong

—K. Ross Hoffman

WINTER DOLDRUMS FOLK FEST

³ mentalism/experimentalism Matmos has made a career of translating

³ jazz/folk If you know Heather Masse only from the Wailin’ Jennys folk trio, Lock My Heart (Red House) — her new collaboration with pianist Dick Hyman — will be a very pleasant surprise. Masse trained as a jazz vocalist and here uses that subtle control on standards that remind us what heights songwriting can attain. No voice is more tender or pensive than Masse’s on “September Song,” urging you to grab life while you can, with piano so spare, it is like an old friend nodding in philosophical agreement. Cole Porter’s “Love for Sale” gets a sassy uptempo treatment, Hyman pounding chords on the left —Mary Armstrong and running the scales on the right.

flickpick

By Mary Armstrong

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³ electronic/pop

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soundadvice

[ disc-o-scope ]

highly improbable concepts into astonishing, utterly singular music, and with The Marriage of True Minds (Thrill Jockey), it’s fair to say they’ve outdone themselves. What they’ve actually done is harder to quantify — the process involved interpreting “scores” gleaned telepathically from experimental subjects; the results are by turns meditative, unsettling, absurdly goofy and funky. It’s a welcome reaffirmation that these guys are capable of anything, including ESP and the strangest Buzzcocks cover you will ever hear (guaranteed). —K. Ross Hoffman

[ movie review ]

BEAUTIFUL CREATURES

There are no selfabsorbed vampires.

✚ Sat., Feb. 16, noon-mid., $16, World Café Live, 3025 Walnut St., 215-222-1400, worldcafelive.com.

VERY SUPERSTITIOUS: Alden Ehrenreich and Alice Englert star in a tale of supernatural, YA romance.

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[ C ] IT’D BE A stretch to compliment Beautiful Creatures for being literary, but at least its creators are functionally literate. Authors Margaret Stohl and Kami Garcia play all the same cards as the Twilight juggernaut — forbidden young love, supernatural powers, disapproving families, awful amounts of emoting — but their YA transition goes down slightly smoother. Compared to Twilight’s codependent cabal of undead idiots, writer/director Richard LaGravenese’s kids actually sound thier age. Sorta. Creatures’ principals, starting with Brooding High-School Boy™ Ethan (Alden Ehrenreich), rely on a combination of whistlin’-dixie idioms and great-American-novel allusions to get their points across. It’s a healthy fetish, really: Though Ethan’s reading list is bookworm pretentious (“This man is a god!” he exclaims after discovering Bukowski), at least he’s not crying while listening to Evanescence, right? A secular loner in a town of Biblewielding hardliners, Ethan needs all the allusions he can muster once he meets Lena (Alice Englert), mysterious niece of equally mysterious Macon (Jeremy Irons), the town’s resident wealthy eccentric recluse. It doesn’t take much prying for Ethan to discover they’re a clan of “casters,” beings with magical abilities split down the good-and-evil middle. He learns that Lena, dark-haired target of the town’s ire, is set to be involuntarily “claimed” by one of those two factions on her 16th birthday, thanks to some sort of Civil-War-era curse. Will Lena default to the dark side, or will Macon’s natty insistence that her heart’s too pure prove true? What does Vonnegut have to say about this, Ethan?! They do make a pretty couple, which helps bring Creatures’ silliness down to eye level. It’s ratcheted back up again by talented actors doing absurd things — Viola Davis as a tattooed shamaness, town demagogue Emma Thompson slapping herself repeatedly when her body is claimed by a spirit. LaGravenese’s pace is sluggish, but at least there are no self-absorbed vampires. —Drew Lazor

³ MEET MICHELE LYNN, the person responsible for Saturday’s 12-hour Winter Doldrums Folk Fest. Or maybe you already know her; Lynn has been playing bass with roots groups around town for more than 30 years. “I do not know how much time I’ve put into this event so far. If I were to add it up, I am sure it would be some crazy number,” she says. “But I won’t, because this isn’t really work to me at all; it’s very satisfying to be able to help other musicians out and spread their music. My day job is electrolysis, so during the day I get to help women who are plagued by excessive hair growth. And then the music is my passion and happiness.” Winter Doldrums, she says, is about providing a platform for “amazing artists that most people will never hear of, yet their music is far better than anything you’d find on a top 20 list. Coming up with 16 acts for this show was easy; the hard part was narrowing it down, with so many amazing bands in the Philadelphia folk/Americana scene.” The first half of the day features two exceptional young women: Brittany Ann, who Lynn lauds for a maturity in sound and lyrics beyond her 21 years, and Murchant, aka Annachristie Sadler, the Downingtown singer Lynn prizes for her “ethereal voice.” Five musicians, including Lynn, join Jess McDowell in the Wounded Healers to support her Americana originals. The Doldrums lineup is a motley crew, including urbane Irish expat John Byrne, folk-rocker Ryan Tennis (pictured) and an earnest-voiced singer-songwriter called Griz. (m_armstrong@citypaper.net)

✚ Waiting for Robot <<< continued from page 20

“Science and engineering are coming from art.”

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[ arts & entertainment ]

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ENTER TO WIN A PAIR OF TICKETS

further, suggesting the director sees little distinction between his live and mechanical actors. “His directions are very precise, like computer programs,” Hiroshi says. “They are identical for both actors and robots. Therefore, it is quite easy to work with him. My role is to let him use our robots and develop the software according to his direction.” Despite the robo-actors’ limitations, Hiroshi drew inspiration from traditional Japanese art forms. “The difference between the robot and a human is the degree of freedom for the body movements,” he says. “The robot is simpler than the human. Fortunately, we have a traditional puppet theater called bunraku in Japan. It is a good example for representing humanlike movements with the robot, which has a limited degree of freedom.” Before turning to robotics, Hiroshi harbored dreams of becoming an artist. It’s clear that he sees his work as an art form in itself, albeit a highly technical one. “Science and engineering are coming from art,” he says. “In order to develop something new, scientists or engineers need to be artists. Then, after creating something based on artistic intuitions, we can find new principles in it.” Hiroshi suggests that the collaboration, which came about when Hirata was appointed to a position at Osaka University, benefits his robotics research through the intangible insights that only theater can provide. “We can learn human behaviors through psychology and cognitive science,” he explains. “However, it is quite limited. The knowledge is very general and we cannot apply the knowledge in daily situations. However, the theater director knows how to make humanlike behaviors. We robotics researchers can learn many things from the theater director.” And vice versa, according to Stuccio. “Everyone is interested in what the future holds for our species,” he says. “I think artwork is at its best when it shines a mirror on interesting things in society, and this is one of those occasions.” (s_brady@citypaper.net) ✚ Fri.-Sat., Feb. 15-16, 8 p.m., $18-$28, Christ

Church Neighborhood House, 20 N. American St., 215-413-1318, livearts-fringe.org/robot.

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curtaincall By Emily Guendelsberger

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[ arts & entertainment ]

³ THERE WAS ONLY one outbreak of applause dur-

ing the opening-night performance of Silent Night last Friday — composer Kevin Puts pointedly didn’t outfit his opera with pauses for feedback. But the silence was probably less unnerving than it was at the Minnesota Opera in 2011, with which this production shares a set and much of its cast. In Minneapolis, Silent Night was an untested new American opera. Here, it was a Pulitzer winner. And when Puts and librettist Mark Campbell came out at the end of the bows, the night was anything but silent. Puts deserved that standing ovation, by far the loudest of the evening. Very recent operas sometimes try to balance a lack of immediately hummable tunes with sentimentality — a spoonful of sugar to make the dissonance go down. Puts managed to create an ensemble opera without bring-down-thehouse arias that is still tremendously accessible; it’s a work that’s often nakedly emotional without (for the most part) falling into oversentimentality. Which would be easy to do, given the maudlin source material — 2005’s Best Foreign Picture bait Joyeux Noël, a film based on a real-life impromptu Christmas truce between Scottish, French and German soldiers in WWI catalyzed by an intertrench caroling duel-cum-duet. (It’s started by a bagpiper — “I’d rather hear bombs,” groans a German.) The film leaned hard on some schmaltzy ideas about The Power of Music, but Silent Night, perhaps having a deeper understanding of music, has a less mystical take. The trauma of being dumped into a nightmare unlike anything seen before is what the soldiers have in common. Music’s a tool for crossing the language barrier, not a magic wand. The closest thing Silent Night has to a lead, Nikolaus Sprink (well-sung by role originator William Burden), seems like a bit of a nod to WWI's place in music history as a turning point toward dissonance and atonality. Sprink, a famous German opera singer, is conscripted halfway through a faux-Mozart duet with his lover, Danish soprano Anna Sørensen (Kelly Kaduce), in the clever record-scratch of an opening. Later, he’s called back to perform a reprise of the song at a party for the German bigwigs — but the duet now feels hollow and false, a mockery of the war’s reality.

That horror is established with a marvelously effective set. A circular center platform representing no-man’s land rotates on a skew, orbited by pieces that lock together to form a surprising number of locations. Video projections on scrims evoke snow and explosions. (A flaw: One scrim kept getting stuck on one side like cheap blinds, then flopping during solemn moments.) The set is particularly effective in the opening battle. The marching songs of three groups of new recruits begin to overlap in more and more dissonant ways, until a sudden explosion seems to send them all flying. The battle is long, ugly and chaotic, accompanied by a Bernard Herrmann-esque instrumental. Before this, his first opera, Puts was known more for his orchestral work. Here, his best writing is instrumental or for the

A sudden Christmas truce in WWI. male chorus, like a lovely chorale sung by all three sides as they fall asleep. Small-group and solo vocals are generally more clever than beautiful — I particularly liked how simultaneous translations were often done as quasicanons, but that came from the brain rather than the gut. Puts wisely avoids using well-known carols, cutting the schmaltz and the potential for “Adeste Fideles” to be what audiences leave humming. The big solos, which go mainly to Burden’s Sprink, Kaduce’s lone woman in a sea of men and Liam Bonner as French Lt. Audebert, aren’t earworms, nor do they end in big “It’s over! Applaud!” cadences. But instead of only recalling that one aria that brought down the house, you simply remember an extraordinary, unbroken experience. (emilyg@citypaper.net) ✚ Through Feb. 17, $10-$225, Academy

of Music, 240 S. Broad St., 215-8931018, operaphila.org.

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CANDICE L DETORE

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COMPANYâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S COMING BalletFleming is dancing for the man in the street. By Deni Kasrel

[ arts & entertainment ]

hen BalletFleming presented Dancing in the Streets, an original ballet choreographed by the companyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s artistic director Christopher Fleming to pop music of the late â&#x20AC;&#x2122;60s, at the Painted Bride Art Center this past September, a good portion of the audience lingered long after the show was over. â&#x20AC;&#x153;They didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t want to leave,â&#x20AC;? recalls Tim Monsul, BalletFlemingâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s board president. â&#x20AC;&#x153;There was so much energy in the room, and everyone wanted to stay with it.â&#x20AC;? The company seeks to rekindle that energy with The Movement of the Heart, presented at the Bride this week. The show features seven works that all tie into some kind of emotion, including an outtake from Dancing in the Streets,â&#x20AC;&#x153;Canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t Take My Eyes Off of You,â&#x20AC;? performed by Dillon Anthony and Gina-marie Battista. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a pas de deux both on and off stage; theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re engaged to be married. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re pushing the whole Valentineâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s thing,â&#x20AC;? says Fleming. Heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s quickly gained an audience for his fledgling troupe with programs that, though theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re steeped in classical ballet technique, do not adhere to the standard ballet catalog. Fleming prefers to appeal to a broader base. The companyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s repertory features his original choreography, with themes like Edgar Allen Poe, The Whoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Tommy and a pirate fantasy. â&#x20AC;&#x153;A guy chasing a swan though the woods â&#x20AC;&#x201D; been there, done that, and it doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t mean a lot to the person across the street from me,â&#x20AC;? says Fleming. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve done a lot of different things. â&#x20AC;Ś What Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m trying to do is have it so the movement suits the idea, or suits the music,

Shannan McCormick, Nick Peregrino and Alysen Pray rehearse â&#x20AC;&#x153;Dali.â&#x20AC;?

or the story, or the situation. I hadnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t thought of how to categorize it. I call it modern ballet. It becomes whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s appropriate.â&#x20AC;? Just two years old, BalletFleming is already drawing good crowds. The company seemed to appear out of nowhere. Fleming had been an assistant director and resident choreographer at the Rock School for Dance Education for nearly a decade, and heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d also taught classes for Rebecca Davis Dance Company for about six months. But to local dance audiences, he was â&#x20AC;&#x153;Christopher who?â&#x20AC;? Fleming hails from a family of dance, film and theater professionals; he was a principal dancer with New York City Ballet under the leadership of George Balanchine and Jerome Robbins. Heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s helmed other companies in both North and South America, and had a successful career as a freelance choreographer. BalletFleming is made up of dancers who were either onetime students of its artistic director or worked with him on freelance gigs. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s kind of fun,â&#x20AC;? he says. â&#x20AC;&#x153;You know when a bunch of musicians get together and they just nod at each other? Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s that kind of feeling.â&#x20AC;? That unspoken understanding comes in handy during rehearsal.

As dancer Anthony notes, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Chris likes to get things done. Thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s some companies that work for hours on eight steps, and Chris usually gives us 140 steps in one hour.â&#x20AC;? Fleming says his manner of dancemaking borrows from two of his mentors: Balanchine and Robbins. â&#x20AC;&#x153;They were diametrically opposite. Jerry [Robbins] controlled everything you did in a ballet, and Mr. B kind of let you find it. So I try to control it up to a point, then let it go.â&#x20AC;? Fleming is open to mixing it up and exploring new things with his company, including a piece on the upcoming program that delves into Salvador Daliâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s penchant for voyeurism. He invited guest choreographer Jenn Rose to set a work for his dancers, and Janet Pilla, a longtime veteran of the local scene, performs a solo. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I thought it would be nice to introduce other artists into our program so that it might help build a bigger audience, and Janetâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s piece gives our dancers a break,â&#x20AC;? says Fleming. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t know, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m just trying things as we roll along.â&#x20AC;? (d_kasrel@citypaper.net) â&#x153;&#x161; Thu.-Fri., Feb. 14-15, 7 p.m., $25, Painted Bride, 230 Vine St., 215-454-2858, balletfleming.org.

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Happy People

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Read Drew Lazor’s review on p. 21 (AMC Loews Cherry Hill, Franklin Mills,)

ESCAPE FROM PLANET EARTH 3D A haiku: Come out to the coast, we’ll make another sequel, have a few laughs. Sigh. (Not reviewed) (AMC Loews Cherry Hill, Franklin Mills, UA Riverview)

A GOOD DAY TO DIE HARD A haiku: Mommy, why does that alien sound like Ricky Fucking Gervais? Fuck. (Not reviewed) (AMC Loews Cherry Hill, Franklin Mills, UA Riverview)

HAPPY PEOPLE: A YEAR IN THE TAIGA | B-

STARTS THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 14 AT THEATRES EVERYWHERE! CHECK DIRECTORIES FOR THEATRES AND SHOWTIMES NO PASSES ACCEPTED

Werner Herzog’s films, whether fictions like Fitzcarraldo or documentaries like Cave of Forgotten Dreams, take some of their power from the patina of experience: In front of the camera and behind it, they’re the product of immersion in foreign and often forbidding places. But for Happy People, which Herzog culled from a four-hour TV documentary by Dmitry Vasyukov, he ventured nowhere more inhospitable than the editing room and the sound booth. Overlaid with Herzog’s characteristic voiceover, it’s unmistakably part of the director’s canon, and just as unmistakably a minor addition to it. Herzog’s subjects (if the possessive even applies) scrape out a living in the frozen wastes of Siberia, in an area so remote that for much of the year the only way out is by helicopter. He seems most

drawn to a solitary fur trapper named Gennady, whose method of turning narrow saplings into traps with only an axe and a sharp knife goes back more than a century. But though Herzog’s narration deploys an ethnographic “us” a few minutes in, it never breaks through the feeling of remove. “I survived, but it’s a long story,” Gennady says as he recalls being airdropped into the barely developed region during the Soviet era. Happy People tells only a fraction of it.—Sam Adams (Ritz Five)

SAFE HAVEN | BLet’s start with something none of us wants to admit about a Nicholas Sparks vehicle: This is a gorgeous movie. Swede Lasse Hallström, who’s etched out quite the English-language career efficiently translating beach reads to the big screen (The Cider House Rules, Chocolat, Salmon Fishing in the Yemen), does his visual best with Sparks’ stuff, but the source material’s a little too boring and predictable for it to matter. Fleeing a violent relationship in Boston, Katie (Julianne Hough) — if that is her real name — hops a bus and decides to settle in Southport, N.C., a sleepy coastal vacation town that seems as good a place as any to hide from one’s past. Try as she might to avoid letting her guard down, she quickly falls for Alex (Josh Duhamel), proprietor of the local general store and widowed father of two. (Widowers = damaged-girl catnip!) As the reasons behind Katie’s abandonment unfold via flashback, Kevin (David Lyons), a Boston detective strangely fixated on Katie’s disappearance, inches closer to discovering her whereabouts. Mapped out with a seeming disregard for the audience’s ability to think one step ahead, Safe Haven never comes close to top gear. Hough and Duhamel (her in particular) are serviceable at best, making Hallström’s pretty pictures the only real tradable asset. —Drew Lazor (AMC Loews Cherry Hill, Franklin Mills)

ARGO|B+

Like his earlier Horrible Bosses, Seth Gordon’s new wire-fraud-fraught road-buddy comedy suffers from banking on the belly-laugh dexterity of the leads and not much else. A stiff at a Denver financial firm, Sandy Patterson (Jason Bateman) has two kids and a third on the way; too many mouths to feed on a menial salary. Circumstances brighten when he’s

JOHN DIES AT THE END|B-

SIDE EFFECTS |BEmily Taylor (Rooney Mara), possessing all the confidence of a wounded bird, timidly awaits the release of her imprisoned husband, Martin (Channing Tatum), who was locked up for insider trading. Transitioning back to civilian life is hard for Martin, but things seem infinitely tougher for his wife. Admitted to the ER after ramming her car into a parking-garage wall, Emily meets Dr. Jonathan Banks (Jude Law), and jumps at the chance to participate in a handsomely paid trial for a flashy new drug he prescribes after standard meds don’t work: “It makes it easier to be who you are.” But what if you’re a

THE MASTER | ARitz at the Bourse PARKER | C The Pearl SILVER LININGS PLAYBOOK | B UA Grant For full movie reviews and showtimes, go to citypaper.net/movies

murderer? Steven Soderbergh slips in far too many twists and surprises to discuss without major spoilage, so just know that Scott Z. Burns’ script becomes more unpredictable as it broadens.—DL (Pearl, Rave, UA Grant, UA Main Street)

WARM BODIES|C Given that vampires have become tween-dream fodder and zombies are now ubiquitous in popular culture, it was inevitable that we’d end up with a zom-rom-com sooner rather than later. Jonathan Levine’s adaptation of Isaac Marion’s novel Warm Bodies hits all the right YA-horror notes: resourceful heroine, unthreateningly dreamy hero conflicted over his braineating tendencies, disciplinarian dad, absent mom and a more-evil breed of zombies to root against. It’s never as twitchy or over-the-top as the Twilight films, but Levine also never strives for much more than sweetness.—SB (AMC Loews Cherry Hill, Franklin Mills, Rave, UA Grant, UA Main Street)

WEST OF MEMPHIS|B+ Is West of Memphis necessary? That’s the first question that inevitably greets this Peter Jackson-produced, Amy Berg-directed doc about the miscarriage of justice that landed a trio of heavy-metal-looking Arkansas teens in prison for 18 years for the murders of three young boys. The story, after all, has been already exhaustively and definitively chronicled in a trilogy by filmmakers Joe Berlinger and Bruce Sinofsky, without whose HBOaired Paradise Lost trilogy the West Memphis 3 would still be anonymous inmates — or dead. But the films actually work in parallel — where Paradise Lost mounted an impassioned defense of its subjects, West of Memphis is more

✚ REPERTORY FILM BRYN MAWR FILM INSTITUTE 824 W. Lancaster Ave., Bryn Mawr, 610-527-9898, brynmawrfilm.org. Heidi (1937, U.S., 88 min.): A little orphan girl is reunited with her crotchety grandfather. Sat., Feb. 16, 11 a.m., $5. The Story of Film: An Odyssey (2011, U.K., approx. 120 min.): Two more episodes are shown from the TV series: “American Cinema of the ‘70s” highlights several iconic screenplays from films like Chinatown and Taxi Driver. The second, “Movies to Change the World,” focuses on innovative movies from Japan, Africa, Australia and more. Wed., Feb. 20, noon, $7.

COLONIAL THEATRE 227 Bridge St., Phoenixville, 610-9171228, thecolonialtheatre.com. True Romance (1993, U.S., 120 min.): In Tarantino’s first major screenplay, Clarence and his new bride steal her pimp’s cocaine, then are chased by gangsters. Fri., Feb. 15, 10 p.m., $9. Real Genius (1985, U.S., 108 min.): A group of teenage geniuses develop a powerful laser together. Sat., Feb. 16, 2 p.m, $9. North by Northwest (1959, U.S., 136 min.): Cary Grant gets mistaken for a spy and chased by a plane in this Hitchcock classic. Sun., Feb. 17, 2 p.m., $9.

FREE LIBRARY PHILADELPHIA CITY INSTITUTE BRANCH 1905 Locust St., 215-685-6621, freelibrary.org. Diary of a Chambermaid (1964, France/Italy 97 min.): This disturbing Buñuel film follows the life of ... a chambermaid. Wed., Feb. 20, 2 p.m., free.

INSTITUTE OF CONTEMPORARY ART 118 S. 36th St., 215-898-7108, icaphila.org. How to Shoot a Crime (1987, U.S., 28 min.): Filmmaker Chris Kraus attends a screening of his quasi-documentary short that juxtaposes interviews with dominatrices and a crime-scene videographer with footage of crime scenes. ART! Sat., Feb. 16, 2 p.m., free.

INTERNATIONAL HOUSE 3701 Chestnut St. 215-387-5125, ihousephilly.org. Sid and Nancy (1986, U.K., 111 min.): Well, we officially know what we’re doing for Valentine’s Day. Thu., Feb. 14, 7 p.m., $9. Lost Lost Lost (1976, U.S., 178 min.): A film diary of director Jonas Mekas’ life in New York from 1949 until 1963. Sat., Feb. 16, 7 p.m., $9. Cleopatra (1970, U.S./France/Italy, 155 min.): This bizarro version of the Taylor/Burton film uses a Warhol-factory cast and snowmobiles instead of horses. (See p. 36 for more.) Wed., Feb. 20, 7 p.m., $9.

MIDNIGHT MADNESS Ritz at the Bourse, 400 Ranstead St., 215-440-1181, landmarktheatres.com. Back to the Future (1985, U.S., 116 min.): Marty McFly is accidentally sent into the past, where he must ensure his parents fall in love in order to get back to present-day. Fri., Feb. 15, midnight., $9.50.

WOODMERE ART MUSEUM 9201 Germantown Ave., 215-2470476, woodmereartmuseum.org. Juggernaut (1974, U.S., 109 min.): An ocean liner is held for ransom, and the crew must figure out a way to dismantle the bombs aboard the ship. Tue., Feb. 19, 7 p.m., $5.

COUNTY THEATER 20 E. State St., Doylestown, 215-3456789, countytheater.org. Clueless (1995, U.S., 97 min.): “In conclusion, may I please remind you it does not say R.S.V.P. on the Statue of Liberty. Thank you very much.” Sat., Feb. 16, 10:30 a.m., $4.

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LOVE ON THE LINE Funny/heartbreaking/hilarious VDay memories.

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³ MUCH LIKE WEEKEND brunch and Mother’s

Day, Feb. 14 is one of those goin’-out-to-eat occasions embraced by the general public and generally lamented by those in the service industry.Valentine’s Day is much like another amateur-hour dining evening, New Year’s Eve: While customers are sipping something sparkling in a moodily lit room, chances are that the folks shucking the oysters and serving that chocolate mousse for two — well, let’s just say there’s not a whole lot of love in the air. Having worked in restaurants more than a few Valentine’s Days, where I witnessed everything from rejected engagement proposals to scandalous bathroom breaks, I thought I’d ask some of our favorite front- and back-of-the-house folks for their most memorable (read: funny/heartbreaking/hilarious) V-Day memories. Although staring at Warren Zevon’s glasses doesn’t sounds like the most romantic way to spend an evening, the Hard Rock Cafe apparently does some serious V-Day traffic. A onetime Hard Rock server (who has since moved on to far more elegant pastures) recalled one Valentine’s Day when the kitchen ran out of steaks, ketchup, frozen fries and burger buns, resulting in what was “arguably, one of the worst days of my life.” But running out of a few menu items pales in comparison to an encounter that very easily could have turned into a modern-day St. Valentine’s Day Massacre. Two businessmen waddled into a calm, couple-filled restaurant; according to our source, these dudes had done some serious pre-gaming and were more than a few Car Bombs in.They proceeded to butt into neighboring tables’ intimate conversations and went as far as to physically harass female staff members before being asked to leave. (There’s been some speculation that these two convene on a yearly basis to play Valentine bullies.) So, what happens after that final creme brulee has been torched and the last canoodling couple has left the building? Well, then it’s time for all of the sous chefs, line cooks, servers and dishwashers to celebrate. One former line cook shared a story of a late-night Valentine’s Day meal for two with the most romantic of intentions: filet mignon lifted from the walk-in, served surf-and-turf style with lobster and vodka-spiked Hollandaise. (caroline@citypaper.net)

SUN-KISSED: Pastries sparkle at La Petite Dauphine. Other items, not so much. NEAL SANTOS

[ review ]

DAUPHINE ABBEY A little polish could help matters at La Petite Dauphine. By Adam Erace LA PETITE DAUPHINE | 2029 Walnut St., 267-324-5244, lapetitedauphine.com. Hours: Tues.-Sun. from 8:30 a.m.; Wed. cheese tasting, 6 p.m.; Fri. fruitsde-mer, 5-8 p.m.; Sat.-Sun. tea, 3:30-5:30 p.m. and dessert buffet, 5:30-8 p.m.

ea service begins promptly at 3:30 p.m., and the staff is busy readying the dining room. There are virginal Frette linens to steam, Riedel crystal to polish, Limoges china to set. Croissants rise in an elegant tower. Glacéed fruit tarts glisten on the sun-washed windowsill. Polished white teapots with bamboo handles and violet ribbons stand at the ready. You’d think you were at Downton Abbey, not La Petite Dauphine, an ambitious European More on: cafe that opened in June in a Rittenhouse brownstone. Owner David Smith is best known locally for his various roles at the old Le Bec-Fin (captain, general manager, events man), but his previous career better explains the inspiration on which Dauphine was founded: “I was a butler for eight years for some very wealthy families,” Smith says. “That’s where I got the feel and idea for this concept. People who have private staff live very well on a day-to-day basis.” You don’t say. “It’s a very European sensibility — quality in everyday life,” he continues, posing himself the question: “What can I do to make a

citypaper.net

guest feel special?” I love that service philosophy, and I’ve always wanted a butler. Smith is like our very own modern-day Carson ... if Carson were the type to eat lunch from a Styrofoam clamshell while the Crawleys took their tea. Unfortunately, that scene played out during my afternoon tea, Smith in rumpled clothes — no livery!? — hunched over takeout at Dauphine’s Illy-brewing coffee counter. That would barely be acceptable at a dive in Kensington, let alone in this chic white-onwhite drawing room whose whole identity is built around dignified pleasures and spit-polished aesthetics. The irony is pungent, and it smelled often during my visits. Finger sandwiches at tea had all the visual élan of Lunchables, four of them per guest on a plain white plate, pumpernickel and brioche crusts cut away as quick and harried as a single mom rushing her kids off to school. The omelet at brunch, an assumed easy layup for a French cafe, looked like it MORE FOOD AND had been clawed by a raccoon, with what DRINK COVERAGE tasted like a pound of blue cheese peering AT C I T Y P A P E R . N E T / through the tattered eggs. Metropolitan M E A LT I C K E T. multigrain toast (thick-cut and burnished nicely) and fruit salad accompanied. I wish someone would have mentioned that; I wouldn’t have ordered the extra side of fruit salad. But hey, there are worse things than a surplus of berries at breakfast, right? Maybe when half of them aren’t partially rotten. Nails jutted from the empty walls like rudimentary coat hooks. Smith says they hold vases for flowers, and indeed I see the slender floating test tubes sprouting fresh lilac on Dauphine’s website, >>> continued on page 40

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Join us for our Grand Opening Celebration 1][S aO[^ZS ]c` dO`WSbg ]T UZ]POZ QcWaW\Sa Sun-Thurs 11am to midnight â&#x20AC;˘ Fri & Sat 11am to 2am â&#x20AC;˘216 South Street â&#x20AC;˘ 215.922.2266

but neither vessel nor flora were there on either of my visits. The wireless credit-card terminal wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t working, which I didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t mind on my first visit but felt annoyed by at my second, more than three weeks later. Smith says spotty WiFi is to blame and that heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s looking into a hardwired processor. A round banquette table in the corner was in various states of undress, its metal legs peeking out beneath a too-short cloth one, totally naked another. A gorgeous to-go wedge of lemon tart left the cafe in an undignified shell of crumpled aluminum foil. A porter carried trash out through the dining room. European dolce vita, meet American laziness. These things should not happen. Not here. But if these snags, these tears in Smithâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s European illusion, can be repaired, La Petite Dauphine has the potential to be the refined, high-quality experience Smith wants, so badly, us all to have. There are some very virtuous aspects of the place, like front-of-house fixture Samira Eggstein, who exudes a sort of noble, stony graciousness even when sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s in the weeds. She also bakes that lemon tart, silky and tangy curd hemmed in patĂŠ-sucre and topped with grated lime zest. Despite the aesthetic stumbles, the tea service really is a treat, with exotic brews from House of Tea â&#x20AC;&#x201D; try the chestnutty green Dragonwell â&#x20AC;&#x201D; and a deal at $26 per person. A trio of snacks kicked off the leisurely, coursed-out spread: a spoon of underseasoned mushroom fricassee, a shot of nicely seasoned tomato soup and a crostini topped with a thick smear of Fourme dâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Ambert. Then came the sandwiches, of which the resounding favorite was the Dijon-laced chicken salad on an Au Fornil croissant, followed by scones piled with whipped cream and berries (fresh, this time) and finished with the three-story dessert cart â&#x20AC;&#x201D; more a sleek, mobile Ikea bookcase, really, than its inspiration, Le Becâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s le grande candied carriage. The impact is the same, though. Take your pick: tender creme caramel; cinnamony coffee cake; featherweight cheesecake with a big, addictive punch of lemon; dark-chocolate Austrian sachertorte veined with apricot marmalade; or the other cocoa masterpiece, a roulade of chocolate genoise rolled around chocolate mousseline and enrobed in chocolate buttercream. None is made on premises â&#x20AC;&#x201D; construction means the downstairs kitchen is still two months out â&#x20AC;&#x201D; but Smithâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s sourcing should be commended. He worked in pastry way back and clearly hasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t lost his good taste. Official dinner service will begin when the kitchen is completed and a chef is locked down, but in the meantime, Smith is running fun little theme nights like fruitsde-mer Fridays with dollar oysters (BYO Champagne!), Wednesday cheese tastings and an $18 all-you-can-eat amped-up dessert spread for Saturday and Sunday following tea. More are planned: dinner and a (French) movie, Sunday Suppers, a lobster date night. Smith is throwing lots ideas at the wall, banking some will stick. The nails should help. (adam.erace@citypaper.net)

To place your FREE ad (100 word limit) ³ email lovehate@citypaper.net ARE YOU REALLY GROWN OR GAY?

BAD STORMS If there is a warning about a storm and the folks on the telelvision tell you to stay home why the fuck are folks not listening and staying the fuck home. Why are you risking everything just to be outside. I never understood why the fuck people aren’t taking into consideration what the hell people are saying, they are saying it for a reason “hello” let’s use our brains.

fact that she was doing it but unfortunately your name is spelled so funny...I saw your name while she was trying to delete the screen. Too late bitches I caught both of ya’ll but I have a trick for the both of ya’ll...I hope the both of ya’ll stick around to find out what I am going to do.

I MISS EVERYTHING Tell me you don’t miss what we had and what we were going to become. You always tell me that you care for me then what is taking you so long to show it? Now that I am with someone else you wanna come attack me and say that I am too much for you mentally. I am not! I am just being real about

you have to do your thing. I hope you think of me sometimes.

RE: WEIRDO READER Boy, you’re fucking stupid. How can people fucking know what the fucking point when they don’t fucking know what a fucking sentence is? It’s fucking sad you’re proud of fucking illiteracy, but the fucking joke is on you, asshole. The whole fucking point of this fucking page is to fucking laugh at fucking illterates like you, so thanks for the fucking entertainment. P.S. Go fuck yourself-because that’s the only fucking one who fucking wants you. douchebag.

I see you add in paper last week. We are have much in common! You say the thing I feel on my heart. I am too lonely, lonely and no friends to have. Let’s walk and walk together and smell flower. I want make love baby to you! Come down to a bridge where I live and we get jiggy on it like they say!

You’re a hoax, a liar, a piece of shit. I was right all along, but I wanted to be wrong. Don’t think for a moment I didn’t know, I just was hopeful.Yay you win, you used me to better yourself to show others/ kids how “well your doing now” You’re a fraud! You say your word is all you have...newsflash...you lie. You’re a tool, junky scummer. As you were....and you will always be. Sunday morning coming down.

TRUE LOVE

Why don’t you kids get on the train and stop acting like you are in the fucking zoo. Next time you wanna play around the fucking platform the cops should come and take you away and send your dumb behinds to fucking jail where you belong.

FRIENDS ARE NOT ALWAYS WHAT THEY SEEM

We have great sex but honestly...I couldn’t help not to think about my ex boyfriend the last time that we did it. You fucked me on the couch and I threw my legs up in the air and zoned out for about 15 minutes and I said to myself..I wonder what “G” is doing. I couldn’t help myself because he used to pound that ass just like you did the other day. I miss the time we shared together and that really proved it when we were together last night. I can’t wait until we fuck again, and I promise to focus on you and you only! MY mind sometimes wanders you must forgive me.

WHAT NOW... a situation. I truly don’t understand your way of thinking and doubt that I ever will. Good-bye forever I am moving back to Miami.

MARS, LIKE THE PLANET Fuck baby you are breaking my heart. I’m sorry I’m such a piece of shit, I guess I couldn’t change fast enough. You used to stop in the alley by my job for a kiss, now you will only make a plan to see me if everything else falls thru. I swear I’m trying to let it go, I can feel that you don’t want me anymore, but I missssss you. You’re my best friend. I want you to be happy though so I know

STUPID FUCKING DOUCHE BAG Why the hell did you come after me after all those years if you were going to play these fucking games? Grow the fuck up for Christ sake! You must be so used to drug addicted, toothless, booze guzzling whores that you wouldn’t know a really great girl if she spit in your pathetic face!! You could have had the world with me but you fucked it up so now you can go back to the trailer trash skanks you are used to. I just wish I knew why people always think the grass is greener. Learn to appreciate what you have any maybe you won’t die alone in the gutter with a syringe hanging out of your arm fuck face.

You always think that you are right about things... you are not right about everything. I think that you are miserable and you are worthless. Why are you even in the city. You complain so much so why the fuck are you around me? I hate your attitude and I hate everything about you and everything around you. I want to spit on you and slap the taste out of your mouth.

✚ ADS ALSO APPEAR AT CITYPAPER.NET/lovehate. City Paper has the right to re-publish “I Love You, I Hate You”™ ads at the publisher’s discretion. This includes re-purposing the ads for online publication, or for any other ancillary publishing projects.

You are a piece of fucking work! I hate you and your cheating ass I wish that I never met you and I hope that your dick falls off. You are a fucking pathetic loser and you need to get dealt with. Do you think that I wasn’t going to find out that you slept with my sister. I actually caught her texting you when she was on the porch. She tried to hide the

WE HAVE GREAT SEX

P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R | F E B R U A R Y 1 4 - F E B R U A R Y 2 0 , 2 0 1 3 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T |

Honestly, there are so many people trying to break up our relationship...don’t you know that...I feel that our relationship is strong enough to withstand the bullshit that comes behind some of the pain that we go through...when I saw you I knew that you were going to be my child’s father...you get on my nerves sometimes with the stuff that you do but I want you to know I truly have your back...I enjoy our time together and always look forward to seeing you when I put my key in the door and there you are with baby and playing your game. This is a new beginning of my life...I am glad you are around to share it with me...I hope it will always be me and my MOODY! I love you honey!

DUMB ASS KIDS

GIVE IT A REST!

I know you don’t read these, people with husbands, and wives, and jobs, and lives, aren’t generally scanning the backs of alt weekilies, hoping to forge some imaginary connection through anonymous rants, bookended by drucken bikers at the end of another day of abuse...and there goes my attention deficiency again. It’s moments like that, when I think about the things that we share, the things that make me myself, that i am most afraid of you. So I stay away, I build walls of sound and isolation, I grow suddenly cold, and I go to work, everyday, just to escape that fear. Maybe one day I won’t have to be afraid...hopefully. That’s what you’re trying to tell me that I keep missing.

TO GUY WHO NO SPEAK ENGLISH GOOD

DUDE ON BUS

And in this case that means your a whore! You would think that by 36 years old and all of your failed relationships you would get it by now. But you don’t! Obviously! IF your best girlfriend brings someone she is interested in to your place you don’t fuck him! I wanted your thoughts on hi, and by thoughts I don’t mean what you think his dick tastes like. I always knew you were a WHORE... but never did I think you would stoop so low that you would bed to steal a man right out from under me. LITERALLY! There are so many dicks out there. They are practically a dime a dozen. And with all the guys you bang you would think you know that. Well good luck with the guy you’ve knows for all of 7 days. I hope your right a you town do spend the rest of your life together, you and the 21 year old girl he’s still fucking from NYC! Just remember as fast as he banged you a hotter chick who’s better in bed,younger, and doesn’t have nearly the amount of baggage you have will come around and you’ll be old news! Hope they find a cure for that Herpagonasyphillis!!

THE LAST LETTER

classifieds

I have had enough of your nonsense for a person to call yourselves grown men, is a lie you talk more than women do. You must be fucking? How can you worry so much about a grown man you must be sucking his dick? And Mr. No back bone is just as bad because he allows this to go on with ya’ll. If is like that ya’ll all need to, have threesome and call it a day because to me this just all sound gay.

the naked city | feature | a&e | the agenda | food

[ i love you, i hate you ]

food | the agenda | a&e | feature | the naked city classifieds

merchandise market BRAZILIAN FLOORING 3/4", beautiful, $2.75 sf (215) 365-5826 CABINETS KITCHEN SOLID WOOD Brand new soft close/dovetail drawers Crown Molding 25 Colors, Never Installed! Cost $5,300. Sell $1,590. 610-952-0033 Diabetic Test Strips Needed pay up to $25/box. Most brands. 610-453-2525

BD a Memory Foam Mattress/Bx spring Brand New Queen cost $1400, sell $299; King cost $1700 sell $399 610-952-0033

HEALTH & MEDICAL PRODUCTS/SERVICES POWER WHEELCHAIR - Mr. Mobility, 3 yrs old. Asking $3,400. 856-691-8396

46 | P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R |

F E B R U A R Y 1 4 - F E B R U A R Y 2 0 , 2 0 1 3 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T

Lost school police black winter hat with badge and fur. Between LaSalle College and Central High School. (267)779-7145

Lauray Theater Organ with chimes and instrument package. (610)566-3060

WANTED EAGLES SBL’s Top dollar paid ! 610-586-5500

33 & 45 Records Absolute Higher $

***215-200-0902***

Please be aware Possession of exotic/wild animals may be restricted in some areas.

VALENTINE KITTENS - Jungle Cubs, 5 1/2 months, $200/each, $300 for both. Call 267-239-0049.

Ragdoll Kittens: Beautiful, guaranteed, home raised. Call 610-731-0907

AMERICAN BULLDOG PUP 5 m, Vet ck. NKC, Reg, $600. 267-408-2092 AMERICAN BULLY PUPS ABKC, Registered, shots, wormed, vet checked. Nice markings. Starting price $775. Family raised. Call 717-529-3715. AMERICAN ESKIMO PUPPY - Pure bred, 1st shots, 1 female. Call 610-505-6363 Bichon Frise Pups - Family raised, s/w $500. Call 717-484-1258 Boxer Puppies - AKC reg., shots and wormed, vet checked, home raised. $700. Call 717-442-8416

English Bulldog Pups - 8wks, vet pedigree, reg, dewormed. Call 215-696-5832

jobs

33&45 RECORDS HIGHER $ Really Paid

**Bob610-532-9408***

Books -Trains -Magazines -Toys Dolls - Model Kits 610-639-0563

Coins, Currency, Gold, Toys,

Trains, Hummels, Sports Cards. Call the Local Higher Buyer, 7 Dys/Wk

Dr. Sonnheim, 856-981-3397

I Buy Anything Old...Except People! antiques-collectables, Al 215-698-0787 I Buy Guitars & All Musical Instruments-609-457-5501 Rob

everything pets pets/livestock

JUNK CARS WANTED We buy Junk Cars. Up to $300 215-888-8662 Lionel/Am Flyer/Trains/Hot Whls $$$$ Aurora TJet/AFX Toy Car 215-396-1903 Looking to buy working used stereo equip, top $$ paid (215)295-4876

German Shepherd Puppies $500. 856-266-0154, 856-665-0249 GOLDEN RETRIEVER - AKC puppies, S/W, fam. raised. $650. 717-286-5920. Lab Retriever Rdy Valentines day AKC blk OFA good chmp ped $700 215.622-0569 Maltese Yorkies Mixed Puppies Beautiful. Call for info. 610-497-3093 PITBULL PUPS - 4 F, 3mo., S/W, ADBA reg., $450. Call 215-834-1247 PIT BULLS - Blue, UKC puppies, 2M, 1F 10 wks. $400/ea. Call 610-209-0424 ROTTWEILER PUPS - AKC registered, shots, wormed, vet checked, $800. Call 717-598-9186 or 717-445-5162 ROTTWEILER PUPS - German bloodline, health guarantee 717-768-8157 Russian Wolf Hound Pups. AKC $1200+ Pics avail, Male & Female(717)349-7927 WESTIES: Registered, home raised, M’s & F’s shots, wormed, 484-868-8452 Yorkie/Terrier Pups 100% Pure bred, AKC, gorgeous, shots. 610-497-3093 Yorkishire Terrier pups, AKC, very small, ready now, Call (717)278-0932

LOST Orange Ginger breed M, cat. 12 years old. Fairland Ave. blue collar / tag / bell. Call 215-262-0301

RN’s - PT/PRN

Philadelphia Area

Must possess RN licensure/ CPR/AED certs. Previous Occ. Health, Out Patient, ER, School Nursing or Med. Office exp. req., along with Phlebotomy exp. Resumes to: lturner@raorad.com or Fax: 301-208-8394 EOE

Sales/Home Remodeling

Kitchens, Baths, Siding, Windows, Doors & MORE CLOSERS WANTED PLENTY OF LEADS Phila, Suburbs & S. Jersey 215-634-7800 856-829-8229

Caregiver Avail to care for your loved one Reliable w/car 484-636-7392 Heating/Plumber desires position Truck & Tools John 215.232.9751

apartment marketplace

3101 S. Broad St. 2BR 1BA $1395 2nd Floor, C/A. Completely renovated. All Appliances. 215-271-7070 Broad & Federal St. 2BR/1BA $1000 + utils., EIK, 3rd floor, large. Call for an appointment 215-463-1459.

1100 S 58th St. 1BR Apt heat/hw incl., lic #362013 215-525-5800 1900 S. 65th St. 2BR Apt Newly renov, Lic #400451, 215.525.5800

apartment marketplace Airport Area 2BR $815+ duplex, a/c, gar, bsmt. 856-346-0747

12xx W. Westmoreland 1BR $500 3rd flr,incl utils. call 215.327.2292

3xx N. 61st St. 1BR $600 Heat & water incl, 2nd flr, $1200 move-in. Call during evenings 610-259-5746 40th & Cambridge 1br $510/mo. Free utils! Call / text 215-222-2435 52nd & Parkside 2BR $600 + utils 3rd floor. Call 215-284-7944 540 N. 52nd St. 1 BR Newly renov. 215.525.5800 lic# 333911 54th & Thompson 2 lg BR $600. h/d flrs, remod kit 215-870-4475 60th & Race 1br $550+utils newly renovated, (215) 747-8150 Parkside Area 1br- 4br $700-$1,600 Newly renov, new kitch. & bath, hdwd flrs, Section 8 OK. Call 267-324-3197 West Phila Studio Please call 215-219-9552 W. Phila 2, 3 & 4br apts Avail Now Move in Special! 215-386-4791 or 4792

4616 N. 11th St. 1BR/1BA $550 1mo., rent, 1mo. sec., newly renov., backyard. 215-924-6473 or 215-548-8354

5006 Spruce St. Studio $500 & 2br $750. 3rd flr. Call 267-601-1937

828 Wynnewood Rd. 1BR $750 2BR $800. Both on 1st flr. Porch and private backyard. Call (267) 250-2178 Apartment Homes $625-$995 www.perutoproperties.com 215.740.4900

3940 Lankenau Ave. 2BR/1BA, $825+ utilis W/D, C/A, W/W. 267-307-1379 Balwynne Park 2BR $850+utils W/D, C/A, W/W. Call 215-219-6409

10xx W Olney Ave 1br $580+utilities 2nd flr, near Einstein and transportation 1 Mo rent and sec dep req. (215)677-3017 5853 N. Camac 1BR $660+utils 2BR $700+utils Renov., 267-271-6601 or 215-416-2757 6021 N. Park Ave. 1 BR $600+gas & elec. 1 month & security. (215)480-6460 60XX Warnock 1 BR $595+ nr Fernrock Train Station,215-276-8534

18th / Erie Ave. Efficiency $500/mo .utils separate. Great location! Non-smoking. Call 215-704-6938

1 BR & 2 BR Apts $735-$835 spacious, great loc., upgraded, heat incl, PHA vouchers accepted 215-966-9371 5220 Wayne Ave. Studio, 1Br on site lndry, 215-525-5800 Lic# 507568 5321 Wayne Ave. Efficiency $550, 1br $625, 2br $700. 215-776-6277 53XX Greene St. (And Penn St.) 2br $650 Conv. transp., tastefully renov, EIK, mirrored closet in mstr bdrm, hdwd flrs, small LR, oak cabinintry in kit, micro, ceil fans, tile bath. Call 215-242-1204 or 267-250-9822 Greene / Seymour 1br $585- $700 incl. heat & water. Call 610-287-9857

2427 N 33rd St. 2BR kitch and bath. 2nd flr 856-262-0870 2501 N. Garnet St. 1br $600 free heat 5956 Vine St. 1br $550 utils inc 1 mo sec, 1 mo rent, Call 267-584-8451 2629 Cecil B. Moore, Studio, $550/mo own kit & ba. Call 215-783-9185 4030 Old York Effic. $450 $900 to move-in. Call (267) 456-9403 Broad and Olney 2BR/1BA $750 Tenant pays own utils. 215-741-0765

3xx E Upsal St. 2BR $720 + utils newly renovated. Call 610-675-7586

1,2, 3, 4 Bedroom FURNISHED APTS LAUNDRY-PARKING 215-223-7000

1501 Orthodox studio newly renov, lic # 309723, 215-525-5800

2nd & Godfrey 1br $660+utils 2nd floor, renovated, 267-229-4267 65th & 66th St. 2BR/1BA $925 1mo rent + sec. dep. 215-888-9018 LaSalle University Area 2BR $650 Close to public transportation. Efficiencies also avail. Contact Vin 215-869-8943

42xx Frankford Ave Effic. $395 2nd flr., 1st, last & sec. 484-450-6553 4500 Frankford Ave. Effic. $490 2nd floor, no pets. Call 215-289-2973 4840 Oxford Ave Studio, 1Br, 2Br Ldry, 24/7 cam lic#214340 215.525.5800

2217 E. Cumberland 1BR Newly renov. 215-525-5800 lic# 356258

44xx Aberdale Road. 2BR $800 plus utils, W/D. Call 215-287-2044 58xx Rising Sun Ave 2BR $600+utils 54xx N. 5th St. 2BR $700+utils Call Tom at 215-459-3564

Bridesburg / Torresdale 2br/1.5ba Sec 8 welcome. Beautiful newly renovated 2nd flr loft apt, C/A, granite countertops, W/D, fridge, $900+ Call 215-399-6251

Bustleton & Grant nice 2br $895 prvt balcony w/garden view 215.943.0370 Oxford Circle 1BR/1.5BA $629+ 1st Flr, new w/w, priv bsmt 215-681-7760 PHILMONT HEIGHTS 2BR $825+utils 1st floor, new kitch, fridge, W/D, w/w & paint, garage. Call 267-467-1596

3xx S. 4th St. 1BR $690/mo Avail 3/15. Call (484)589-0652 Darby Efficiency $500 utils inc., w/d, private parking 484-469-0753 Lansdowne 2br $700+utils 167 Houston Rd., Call 267-276-3680

Rosemont 138 Montrose. 2br $2050 C/A, new carpets, freshly painted, large spacious contemp. townhouse, loft, 2.5bath, eat in kitchen, walking distance to Rosemont station. Call (610) 642-2664.

153X W ERIE Av $450 inc utils, cable, internet, kitc access 215-695-3005 15th & Lehigh Large rooms starting at $350/mo. 215-834-4445 18th & Ontario priv ent new paint use of kit ww $120wk $290mv in 267-997-5212 2435 W. Jefferson St. Rooms: $375/mo. Move in fee: $565. Call 215-913-8659

W. & SW Phila 2br-3br Houses $700-$850. 1st/last/sec. 215-878-2857

206 N. Simpson 3br/1ba $850 www.perutoproperties.com 215.740.4900 980 N. 66th Street 3br/1.5ba $995 www.perutoproperties.com 215.740.4900 Overbrook Park 3BR/2.5BA $1150/mo + util. Home for rent garage, newly renovated, Central A/C, fin. rec rm 215-947-4716

1924 N. Croskey St. 4BR/1BA $825+utils 1mo. rent, 2mo. sec. Sec. 8 Ok. New kitchen, carpets, ceiling fans. 267-335-4440

19xx N. Hollywood St. 3BR/2BA $825 1st, last, 1mo. sec. req. 856-627-7979

3xx Ashdale St. 2BR/1BA $800+utils. Sec. 8 ok, credit check. 267-581-7454

homes for rent 38 N Front St, 2 D 1BR/1BA $1,995 Beautiful, High-end Condo in HEART of Olde City, Gorgeous. 215-915-8888

21xx S Gould 2BR $700 + utils. newly renov., sect. 8 ok. 267-767-4895 26xx S. Bonaffon Upscale 3BR $825+ Must see! Avail 3/1. 215-365-4567 5209 Florence Ave. 3BR/1BA $850 utils not included. Newly renovated with alarm system. Corner house. Call 215-900-9938

13xx N. Wanamaker St. 3BR/1BA $825 1st, last, 1mo. sec. reqâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d. 267-255-1895 14 S. Redfield 3BR Call 215-605-5227 or 215-680-7936 2BR & 3BR Houses Sec. 8 Welcome Beautifully renovated Call (267)981-2718

15xx Foulkrod St. 2BR $675/month Updated large back deck. Quiet block. Call 301-254-9856.

47xx Griscom St. 2br/1ba Attic. Call 215-704-4427

$650

Frankford 4br/2ba Sec 8 ok (215)322-6086

20xx Anchor 2BR/1BA $825+ Newly renovated, section 8 ok. Call 609486-6261 43xx Benner St. 3BR/1BA $900+ Newly renovated, section 8 ok. Call 609486-6261

OXFORD CIRCLE 887 Marcella St. 3br 1ba $850 plus 267-632-4580

Upper Darby 3BR/1BA $1,000/mo. W/D, fully renov., sec. 8 ok. 917.755.0727

NORRISTOWN 800 blk Haws Ave 3BR, porch, yard, clean, sec 8 ok! $1200. Mr James 215-766-1795

Willingboro, NJ SFH, 5BR, 2 Full Baths, Cer Tiles/Hard Wood Floor. (443)801-9333

Become an Aviation Maintenance Tech. FAA approved training. Financial aid if qualified-Housing available. Job placement assistance. CALL Aviation Institute of Maintenance 888-834-9715.

Junk Cars & Trucks Wanted, $400, Call 856-365-2021

A1 PRICES FOR JUNK CARS FREE TOW ING , Call (215) 726-9053

low cost cars & trucks Buick Century Custom 2000 $4995 Silver, 83,000 pampered mi, dealer maintained, very good cond. 610-356-0167 Chevy Caprice Classic 1991 $1950 mint, 114k, needs no work, 215-620-9383 Chevy Corsica 1995 $1,450 auto., A/C, heat, 61K. 215-620-9383

Chevy Venture LS Van 2001 $2950 loaded, 1owner, 92K, CarFax 215.237.0109

Chrysler Sebring 2004 $3850 loaded, 90K, 4 cyl. Call 215-237-0109 Chrysler Sebring Convert. 2004 $3,995 low mi, touring, gorgeous. 610-524-8835 1999 $1950 Ford Explorer XLT 4wd, clean, insp, runs new 215.620.9383 Honda Civic LX 2000 $3900 All equip, silver, 4 dr, (610)716-9557 Hyundai Elantra SW 1999 $1650 Auto, 101k. needs no work 215.620.9383 Hyundai Sonata 2002 $3,500/obo Excellent condition, remote start, 150K miles. Call 267-271-2948 Lincoln Navigator 1998 $2,345 V8, all pwr, runs excl. 267-825-2315 MERCURY COUGAR 1991 $1300 Inspected. Call between 10am and 2pm 215-332-5716 Mercury Grand Marquis GS 1999 $3,500 Loaded, excel. cond. Call 215-389-4310 Nissan Maxima GLE 1998 $2250 all pwrs, 122k runs new 215.620.9383 Toyota Camry XLE 2002 $4950/OBO V6, excel. cond. Call 610-348-9188 VOLVO V70 1999 $2,400 177K mi. looks & runs great. 610.613.7421

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Business Services REGULAR MASSAGE THERAPY

HELP WANTED DRIVER

Get up to $1,000 sign-on bonus and superior work/life balance with weekly hometime. Class A exp drivers for Milton terminal. 800-333-9291. www. veriha.com HELP WANTED DRIVER

Lessons & Workshops

GORDON TRUCKING, INC.. C D L - A D r i ve r s N e e d e d ! ...$3,000 SIGN ON BONUS... Refrigerated Fleet & Great Miles! Pay Incentive Benefits! Recruiters available 7 days/wk! TeamGTI.com EOE 866-554-7856.

ATTEND COLLEGE ONLINE

HELP WANTED DRIVER

Special Price! $45/hr. Call (215)873-4835. 1218 Chestnut St.

from Home. *Medical, *Business, *Criminal Justice, *Hospitality. Job placement assistance. Computer available. Financial Aid if qualified. SCHEV authorized. Call 800-481-9472 www. CenturaOnline.com

Help Wanted â&#x20AC;&#x201C; General

Owner Operators: $3,000 Sign-On Bonus. Excellent Rates & Paid FSC. Home Daily. 80% Drop & Hook. Great Fuel & tire Discounts. L/P available. CDL-A with 1 year tractor-trailer experience required. 888703-3889 or apply online at www.comtrak.com HELP WANTED!

HELP WANTED SALES

WANTED: LIFE AGENTS: Earn $500 a Day, Great Agent Benefits. Commissions Paid Daily. Liberal Underwriting. Leads, Leads, Leads, LIFE INSURANCE, LICENSE REQUIRED. Call 1-888-713-6020. HELP WANTED

Live like a rockstar. Now hiring 10 spontaneous individuals. Travel full time. Must be 18+. Transportation and hotel provided. Call Shawn 800-7160048. HELP WANTED DRIVER

AVERITT OFFERS CDL-A DRIVERS a Strong, Stable, Profitable Career. Experienced Drivers and Recent GradsExcellent Benefits, Weekly Hometime. Paid training. 888362-8608 AverittCareers.com Equal Opportunity Employer.

Make extra money in our free ever popular homailer program, includes valuable guidebook! Start immediately! Genuine! 1-888-292-1120 www.hometoworkfromhome. com HELP WANTED!!

Make $1000 a week mailing brochures from home! FREE Supplies! Helping HomeWorkers since 2001! Genuine Opportunity! No experience required. Start immediately! www.mailing-usa.com $$$HELP WANTED$$$

Extra Income! Assembling CD cases from Home! No Experience Necessary! Call our Live Operator Now! 1-800-4057619 Ext. 2450 http://www. easywork-greatpay.com PAID IN ADVANCE

Paid in Advance! MAKE up to $1000 A WEEK mailing bro-

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Pups for adoption,1boy,1gi rl,11wks,shot current,home raised, richardsmith605@ yahoo.com or call 215-5498511

HEALTH

IF YOU USED THE MIRENA IUD between 2001-present and suffered perforation or embedment in the uterus requiring surgical removal, or had a child born with birth defects you may be entitled to compensation. Call Johnson Law and speak with female staff members 1-800-5355727.

Resort/ Vacation Property for Sale VACATION RENTALS

OCEAN CITY, MARYLAND. Best selection of affordable rentals. Full/partial weeks. Call for FREE brochure. Open daily. Holiday Real Estate. 1-800638-2102 Online reservations: www.holidayoc.com.

Apartments for Rent NEAR TEMPLE UNIVERSITY APTS

New building apts. 3BR/1BA $1100. 1BR/1BA share

Homes 2705 EARP STREET

Near Univ of Penn, Newly remodeled 2 bedroom home, Washer/Dryer, Fridge, New: Kitchen, Bath, Hardwood Floors. $795/month. Call Pete: 267-307-0371 SOUTH PHILADELPHIA

3rd and Porter. All new townhouse. HW flrs, granite kitchen, completely new, gorgeous, wonderful neighborhood, new appliances. $600/m. Call 215292-2176 SOUTH PHILLY 19TH & MIFFLIN

ALL New T/H. Hardwood, Granite, New Appliances, Gorgeous, $650 per month. 215-292-2176.

Office/ Retail COMMERCIAL OFFICE SPACE FOR RENT

319 North 11th Street 1st Floor, 4,500 Sq. Ft., Private Entrance AC, Gas Heat, 4 Executive Offices, 2 Secretarial Offices, Meeting Room + Kitchen Area, Parking Available. $4,600/mo. For more info call: 215-8821187 or email: arrowsew@ aol.com

Roommates ALL AREAS-ROOMATES. COM

Browse hundreds of online listings with photos and maps. Find your roommate with a click of the mouse! Visit: http:// www.Roommates.com.

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2xx N. Paxon 4BR/1BA $800+ Newly renov. Call (215) 292-4505 55th & Allison St (off Media) 2BR/1BA $650. New kitch, w/w 215-870-4475 BREWERYTOWN 27th & Girard Lg 2br, rear yard, Sec 8 OK will accept 1 & 2Br vouchers $700/mo 215-681-8018 Harlan St. 3br/1ba $750/mo. completely renovated, available now, porch, backyard (267)808-9792

Ontario St. 3BR $800+utils. Renovated, large. Call 201-321-0543

AIRLINE CAREERS

For Sale

kitchen $400. Call : 267-7382688

P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R | F E B R U A R Y 1 4 - F E B R U A R Y 2 0 , 2 0 1 3 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T |

Frankford, nice rm in apt, near bus & El, $300 sec, $90/wk & up. 215-526-1455 FRANKFORD / NORTHEAST , Newly renov, nicely furnished, A/C, W/D, cable, clean, safe & secure. Call (267) 253-7764 Germantown: Apsley St. Rms $125/wk share kitchen and bath. 267-338-9870 Germantown Area: NICE, Cozy Rooms Private entry, no drugs (267)988-5890 N. Phila clean, quiet bldg, furn, proof of income, $120-$125/wk. 215-303-7658 Richmond furn room, use of kitch, $100/wk Proof of income 215-634-1139 SOUTHWEST Newly renov, nice ly furnished , A/C, W/D, cable, clean, safe & secure. Call (267) 253-7764 University City/Logan - Large, furnished, cable, $110-$125/wk. 609-526-5411 WEST/SOUTHWEST Newly renov, nicely furnished, A/C, W/D, cable, clean, safe & secure. Call (267) 253-7764 W Phila & G-town: Newly ren lg, lux rms /apts very peaceful SSI ok, 267.255.8665

5030 Tacoma St. 2BR/1BA $690 util. House LR, DR, KIT, SM YARD, & W/D HOOK-UP. Avail Immd. 215-432-7959

Buy 40-Get 60 acres. $0 Down, $168/month. Money back guarantee. NO CREDIT CHECKS. Beautiful views. Roads/surveyed. Near El Paso, Texas. 1-800-843-7537.www.SunsetRanches.com

SAWMILLS

3353 Amber St. 3Br $750 Call (516) 361-5005

56xx N. Fairhill 3br/2ba $1,300+utils newly renova., deposit. (215) 416-0331 Bryn Mawr Suburbs, Serene, a/c, Cable, Near Trans, no kitch or laundry, No Smoke. $425/mo. Call 610-525-5765

Cadillac CTS 2005 $5500/obo 150,000 miles. Call 267-271-2948 Lexus Hybrid GS450 2007 $29,000 Mint condition, 56k miles. 610-299-5198 Lexus RX350 2008 $29,900 25,000 miles, brand new cond., no accidents, clean title. Call 267-474-0491 Mercedes 280 SL â&#x20AC;&#x2122;67 $37,900 exc con, 4 speed, restored in the â&#x20AC;&#x2122;90s. 7,000 in recent receipts. (856)728-0506 Volkswagon Jetta Wolfsburg 2010 $17,000 16.5K mi. 302-427-2433

20 ACRES FREE

chures from home! Helping Home Workers since 2001! Genuine Oppor tunity! No Experience required. Start Immediately! www.mailingstation.com

classifieds

25th & Clearfield, 55th & Media, 1BR apt 60th and Kingsessing Ave. Share Kitch. & Bath, $350 & up, no securi ty deposit, SSI OK. Call 267-888-1754 33rd St. & Ridge Ave. $100-125/ week. Large furn. rooms near Fairmount Park & bus depot. 25-317-2708 4508 N. Broad St. Rooms: $375/mo. Move in fee: $565. Call 215-913-8659 51xx N. Broad St. 1BR/1BA apt. Room, fridge, 27" TV. Call 267-496-6448 51xx Spruce From $400-$500/month. Clean, furn rooms. 267-241-6583 Allegheny $90/wk. $270 sec dep. Near EL train, furn, quiet. Call 609-703-4266 Broad & Allegheny - Large rooms, utils incl., use of kit. Call (856) 200-5751 Broad/Olney furn refrig micro priv ent $115/wk sec $200 215.572.8833

automotive

CRST offers the Best Lease Purchase Program! SIGN ON BONUS. No Down Payment or Credit Check. Great Pay. Class-A CDL required. Owner Operators Welcome! Call: 866-403-7044.

the naked city | feature | a&e | the agenda | food

apartment marketplace

HELP WANTED DRIVER

Public Notices

billboard [ C I T Y PA P E R ]

F E B R U A RY 1 4 - F E B R U A RY 2 0 , 2 0 1 3 CALL 215-735-8444

Village Belle Restaurant and Bar

Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s chilly outside, stop in to try our new winter beers Queen Village charm at the picturesque Village Belle 757 South Front St Corner of Fitzwater Street in Queens Village 215-551-2200 www.thevillagebelle.com

My Fetish Valentine

200+ steel boned corsets in stock size S-8XL Rubber-Leather-KiltsMore by 26 designers. Free gift packaging (while supplies last) PASSIONAL Boutique 704 S. 5th St. Noon-10PM, 7 days a week www.passionalboutique.com

FREE DRINKING SMARTPHONE APP!!!

City Paper is very pleased to bring you our very first smartphone app! Just go to www.citypaper.net and click our martini glass icon to find out more, or type in â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Happy Hours in the app store, android marketplace, or blackberry app world. Click the orange martini icon and get drinking. No matter where you go or when you go, you can find the nearest happy hours to you with a single click! You can even sort through bars by preference or neighborhood.

village belle DINNER TUES-THURS 5-10, FRI-SAT 5-11, LUNCH SAT 11-4, SUN BRUNCH 10:30-3:30

PRIVATE PARTIES & GIFT CERTIFICATES 757 south front street, at ďŹ tzwater. 215-551-2200 www.thevillagebelle.com

Lit Ultrabar Presents

IN THE BIZ MONDAYS 2hr OPEN BAR Everyone Invited 21+ Casual Attire

HAPPY HOUR AT THE DIVE FREE PIZZA! $2 BEER OF THE WEEK! $2 WELL DRINKS! ITâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S AMAZING! PASSYUNK AVE (7th & CARPENTER) 215-465-5505 myspace.com/thedivebar

SEMEN DONORS NEEDED

Healthy, College Educated Men 18-39 ~ $150/Sample WWW.123DONATE.COM

HAPPY HOUR AT THE ABBAYE $2 OFF ALL DRAFTS $3 WELL DRINKS $5 HAPPY HOUR MENU Only at the Abbaye 637 N. 3rd Street (215) 627-6711 www.THEABBAYE.net

Building Blocks to Total Fitness

12 Years of experience. Offering personal fitness training, nutrition counseling, and flexibility training. Specialize in osteoporosis, injuries, special needs. In home or at 12th Street Gym. MCKFitness@yahoo.com

PRESIDENTS' DAY AT THE LAS VEGAS LOUNGE!

I BUY RECORDS, CDâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S, DVDâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S

This Monday In honor of President William Henry Harrison, affectionately known to the press at the time as â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Grannyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;, who died at age 68 after only 30 days in Office; Las Vegas Lounge will be offering $4.50 Shots of Old Grandad, and $7.50 Domestic Pitchers all day long. Las Vegas Lounge, 7th & Chestnut 215-592-7533

STUDY GUITAR W/ THE BEST David Joel Guitar Studio

MAKE THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE GET A TATTOO!

TOP PRICES PAID. No collection too small or large! We buy everything! Call Jon at 215-805-8001 or e-mail dingo15@hotmail.com

All Styles All Levels. Former Berklee faculty member. Masters Degree with 27 yrs. teaching experience. 215.831.8640 www.myphillyguitarlessons.com

LE BUS Sandwiches & MOSHEâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S Vegan Burritos, Wraps and Salads Now Available at the EL BAR! Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s true! Theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re here and delivered daily! 1356 North Front Street 215-634-6430

LAS VEGAS LOUNGE

Serving 20 oz Drafts, NOT 16. SIZE DOES MATTER. 704 Chestnut Street 215-592-9533 www.LasVegasLounge.com

Low Cost Health Insurance!

Health, Life, Dental Insurane www.PHILADELPHIABENEFITSGROUP.COM CALL TODAY!!! 800-551-6880, 24 hours/ 7 days a week Get Rates and Apply Online

PHILADELPHIA EDDIES 621 South 4th St. Tattoo Haven (MIDDLE of Tattoo Row) 215-922-7384 open 7 DAYS

My Sexual Valentine

Guaranteed-quality, body-safe sexuality products, lubricants, male room, sex-ed classes, fetish gear, Aphrodite Gallery Free gift packaging (while supplies last) SEXPLORATORIUM 620 South 5th Street www.sexploratoriumstore.com

ACHTUNG BABY, BGIERSTUBE B ERMAN IERGARTEN BURGERS, BRATS AND 200+ BEERS FO SHIZZLE MA SCHNITZEL! 206 Market St. 215-922-2958

A HOUSE OF LAGERS

Mon-Wed 5pm-2am, Thurs-Sun 11am-2am

Reser vations at www.mybierstube.com

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