Philadelphia City Paper, March 14th, 2013 by Philadelphia City Paper

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the thebellcurve

city

CP’s Quality-o-Life-o-Meter

[ -2 ]

A 20-year-old suburban Pennsylvania man is charged with exposing himself to a wedding party in South Carolina. “In my defense, it wasn’t a party till I did that.”

[ + 1 ] Joe Biden will address graduates at Penn’s

commencement in May. But he’ll be sloshballing the rest of the night with some Drexel super-seniors.

[ -1 ]

[0]

The controversial Gettysburg Cyclorama, built to house a giant circular painting of Pickett’s Charge, is finally demolished. In its place will be a life-sized memorial to the Cyclorama, staffed by re-enactors in YOLO hats performing the “Harlem Shake,” a dance believed to have been popular when the building was still in use. Plans to tear down the “Roundhouse” police headquarters on Race Street are opposed by some preservationists. “Do you know how long it took us to hang that Pickett’s Charge painting?”

LAST LINE OF DEFENSE: Poor people accused of crimes in Philly are relatively lucky: Despite limited funds, Philly’s Defender Association is considered to be a national model. NEAL SANTOS

[ + 1 ] A year into the ban on texting-while-driv-

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ing, Philly Police have issued 243 citations for the offense. “Yeah, we’re barely trying,” shrugs Commissioner Charles Ramsey.

[ -5 ]

In one day, Philly drivers accidentally crash into a wall at Girard College, a Dunkin’ Donuts in Roxborough and a Wawa in South Philly.“They all swear they weren’t texting,” shrugs Commissioner Ramsey.

[ -3 ]

A student is caught with a handgun at a Philly school for troubled youths. Experts agree this is a cry for even more help.

[ -3 ]

A man attempts to rescue his dog from the Delaware River in Tacony but then needs to be rescued himself by police. Then the dog saved everybody, and he’s the sheriff now. A dog sheriff!

[ -2 ]

Flower Show organizers say attendance was down this year due to ominous weather forecasts. Also, word got around that the flowers just sit there not doing anything.

[ -3 ]

An off-duty traffic officer is charged with DUI after causing a three-car accident. “It’s called method policing,” he explains to a parking kiosk.

This week’s total: -17 | Last week’s total: -2

[ justice ]

TIPPING THE SCALES Fifty years after the Supreme Court affirmed defendants’ right to counsel, is justice being served? By Samantha Melamed

ecently, an email from a disgruntled staffer at the District Attorney’s Office leaked to the other team: Philly’s Defender Association, the city-funded nonprofit that represents accused criminals who can’t afford a private lawyer. The email included salaries of District Attorney staffers — and the numbers left some defenders in shock. “It appears that DAs with comparable experience are making anywhere from 10 percent to 50 percent more than their public-defender counterparts,” says CB Kirschner, a defender. “Someone once said that in a just society we’d pay the people who prosecute criminals equally with the people who defend them. What does it say about a society that weighs the scale so heavily in favor of the prosecution?” The timing of the email was somewhat ironic: This Monday, March 18, marks the 50th anniversary of Gideon v. Wainwright, the Supreme Court decision affirming poor defendants’ right to free counsel. And while Philly’s Defender Association is considered to be among the nation’s best, defenders say years of salary freezes, growing case loads and the city’s failure to achieve promised parity among defenders and prosecutors is putting a strain on that institution. Meanwhile, Philly’s system of appointing private counsel to those not represented by the Defender Association — a program

administered with scant funding and little oversight — has been uneven. Now, the city is weighing whether a new Office of Conflict Counsel could better manage such cases. But critics say that, without a massive funding infusion, such an endeavor is fated to fail. Samuel Stretton, a private attorney who’s been active in efforts to reform the system, puts it bluntly: “The legacy of Gideon has been severely tarnished in Pennsylvania. … Gideon doesn’t exist anymore.” Pennsylvania is one of only two states that provides no funding for indigent defense, notes Mary Catherine Roper, of the American Civil Liberties Union of Pennsylvania. “The system really has no sort of statewide supervision or standards, or even statewide funding standards.” As a result, a task force appointed by a joint committee of the state legislature concluded in 2011, the mandate of Gideon “has been ignored by the General Assembly, and largely because of that neglect, is not being fulfilled in Pennsylvania.” Philly’s defendants fare better because the city has an independent defenders’ office, with 240 lawyers handling adult and juvenile criminal cases, mental-health civil-commitment hearings and childadvocacy cases. All told, they’re assigned 70 percent of Philly’s indigent-defense cases — about 60,000 new cases each year. Chief Defender Ellen Greenlee says intensive training and extensive supervision make it possible for defenders to adequately handle their case loads. But, she concedes, “There really is a crisis in indigent defense. … We are not the favored children.” That is, spending on a tough-on-crime DA is more politically palatable than funding

“The legacy of Gideon is tarnished.”

>>> continued on page 8

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[ a million stories ]

✚ TRUCK STOP As spring makes a tentative appearance in Philly, office workers might wonder what ever happened with plans outlined last fall to shake up outdated regulations that limit operations of lunch trucks in the city. The short answer: not much. Six months after Councilman Mark Squilla outlined a plan to expand trucks’ options by allowing them to operate on private property, little has changed. Squilla had hoped to introduce a bill by last November, but his office reports he is still waiting for feedback from the city Law Department on what the regulations should look like. That’s putting the brakes on what should be a burgeoning industry, says Philly Mobile Food Association (PMFA) president Dan Pennachetti, who owns Lil’ Dan’s Gourmet Lunch Truck. “You cannot put a new food truck anywhere in Center City other than LOVE Park. And they’re closing for renovations next year,” says Pennachetti. He says he’s spoken with every City Council member over the last year — but hit a wall with the administration. Nutter’s office, he says, “turned down calls for a meeting and invitations to come down to the trucks in LOVE Park.” (A spokesman says the mayor does frequent the LOVE Park food trucks, but has no sway with the Law Department on pending legislation.) He says PMFA membership has tripled in the last year, driven by the influx of innovative new mobile vendors focused on healthier options. But the number of approved sites for vendors — 250 — hasn’t increased in years, and many neighborhoods have no food-truck slots at all. In the interim, Squilla and the PMFA have been working on bringing vendors to certain city-owned properties. The City Hall courtyard was supposed to be the first target. But there could be another snag. “They’re supposed to open

a café on Dilworth Plaza, and they need to make sure [the trucks] won’t interfere with that,” Pennachetti says. —Ryan Briggs

✚ SWIMSUIT ISSUES Daynese Stowe grew up playing basketball in West Philly, and went on to a Division 1 college team. But after a contract to go pro in Finland went sour, her hoop dreams faded away. Now, at age 28, the 6-foot-2 center sees hope in an unlikely source: Philly’s nascent Bikini Basketball team, the Philadelphia Diamonds. “This is kind of like a second chance, that’s how I look at it. For people who didn’t pursue it straight out of college or, like me, they pursued it and it didn’t go well,” Stowe said Saturday, as women hustled up and down the court for tryouts. Al Trotter, a self-described “serial entrepreneur,” founded the franchise, part of a league that’ll soon be eight teams strong. Trotter is hoping to profit from the combination of titillation and athleticism that’s been a winning formula for Lingerie Football. “That’s the fastest-growing sport in world history,” he says. “You look at the WNBA, and you may as well be watching a bunch of men run up and down the court. Why hide their femininity?” Trotter say he’s investing in the team and trying to secure a contract with Trenton’s Sun National Bank Center. Still, it may be an uphill battle. Saturday’s tryout, at Finley Rec Center in East Mount Airy, was the first time enough women had showed up to play five-on-five. And as Theresa Hamlett — aka Coach Tee — gently put it, “a couple of the women need to change their lifestyles.” Stowe herself says she has some crunches to do before appearing in uniform, which is a sports bra and short-shorts, not a bikini per se. But Hamlett has an open mind. “If they can get in shape between now and June, we’ll take them on.” —Samantha Melamed

photostream ³ submit to photostream@citypaper.net

By Daniel Denvir

WHITE PAPER ³ THE NEWSPAPER-INDUSTRY CRISIS has

hit journalists of color hard — a fact evident in the recent controversy over Philadelphia magazine’s “Being White in Philly” cover story. Most local-media responses were from white people like myself, because the makeup of most news outlets in this city is overwhelmingly white. (City Paper’s fulltime editorial staff, like Philadelphia magazine’s, is 100 percent white.) Just short of a thousand black reporters nationwide lost or left their jobs between 2002 and 2012, bringing their newsroom representation to just 4.65 percent, according to the National Association of Black Journalists (NABJ). Management tends to blame union seniority rules, while unions tend to fault management for failing to make diversity a priority. The proliferation of unpaid internships as de facto entry-level jobs puts poor people of any race at further disadvantage. The Inquirer, with a newsroom of about 250 compared to just 90 at the Daily News,is the city’s largest news-gathering operation — and also a profoundly white one. Last fall, the Temple University journalism department briefly stopped recommending interns to the paper to protest the lack of diversity. Annette John-Hall was theInquirer’s only AfricanAmerican metro columnist until she took a buyout last month, leaving Karen Heller (who is white) as the paper’s only metro columnist in a city where black people are a plurality. “What you get is unbalanced coverage,” says John-Hall, describing a paper that has shifted away from community-level beats and too often reduces neighborhoods to crime stories. The Philadelphia Association of Black Journalists (PABJ) asked Inquirer editor Bill Marimow that the next metro columnist be black. According to PABJ president and Philadelphia Tribune news editor Johann Calhoun, Marimow, who did not respond to a request for comment, said he would try. Meanwhile, the Daily News boasts a black columnist and a Puerto Rican one, along with a number of reporters of color and a black editor-in-chief. “They do a much better job covering the city than the Inquirer,” says John-Hall. “The Inquirer is all about suburban coverage now because they’ve done reader surveys that tell them that’s where their circulation is.” But it’s not a total whiteout: Inquirer editorial page editor Harold Jackson is African-American. The nation’s class and racial inequalities are deeply entrenched. But newspapers, like universities and other employers, must do better. Not only for reporters of color, but for readers of all colors. ✚ Send feedback to daniel.denvir@citypaper.net.

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STEVE IVES FLICKR: PHILLYTRAX

hostilewitness

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✚ Tipping the Scales

[ the naked city ]

<<< continued from page 6

defense of alleged criminals. Last year, things came to a head, according to several defenders: Lawyers who hadn’t seen raises in years were leaving the office in droves, and there was no funding to replace them. The Defender Association stopped staffing three courtrooms for several months — and, though Greenlee doesn’t like the term “boycott,” the resulting pressure on the city did lead to restored funding for 10 vacant positions. Now, Greenlee says the association is fully staffed. But that’s relative: Defenders staffing a single courtroom could still work on 20, 25 or even 30 misdemeanor cases a day, or 10 non-jury felony cases. One defender said it’s possible to have 50 major felony cases open at any one time. “The investigation that’s needed is much greater than we’re often able to bring to it. When you’ve got 50-something cases … some of those cases that are further down the line, you’re not getting to them.” For misdemeanors, the defender said, there’s “absolutely no investigation” being done, even if it’s merited. Kirschner says defenders put in long hours and pride themselves on their work — but admits it could be better. “Our clients get frustrated because they only have five minutes with an attorney to discuss an offer,” she says. Later, they complain, “‘I was confused. … I didn’t take this offer because I didn’t have enough time to discuss it.’” “Do things get missed? Of course,” she says. “When you have that many cases, a witness is not going to be called who should be, a bench warrant is going to be issued when a client is in custody.” Yet the defenders tends to perform better than the private lawyers the courts appoint in the 30 percent of indigent-defense cases the Association can’t take. An analysis of Philly homicide cases by the RAND Corporation found defenders had conviction rates 19 percent lower than their court-appointed counterparts. Defenders’ clients were 62 percent less likely to receive life sentences. And in 20 years of trying homicides, Greenlee notes, no Defender Association client has been sentenced to death. There’s a reason for that, says Stretton: For homicide cases, private lawyers are paid $10,000, which he says doesn’t come close to covering their costs. “The last homicide I tried, I think my hourly rate turned out to be $1.50.” Lawyers have to juggle these cases with private clients just to stay afloat. A report by Common Pleas Court Judge Ben Lerner last year found appointed counsel’s pay to be “grossly inadequate” in capital cases. Other felony cases pay just $650. Stretton and others have negotiated and filed numerous suits over the past two decades to raise those fees, but, he says, many lawyers just won’t take court-appointed clients anymore. Getting expert witnesses, likewise, has become a problem, as payments often comes late and at cut rates. “I’ve had a lot of experts, top psychiatrists and pathologists, who won’t come in anymore,” Stretton says. All this may change, given that the courts handed administration of this crumbling system over to the city last July. But will it be for the better? Deputy Mayor Everett Gillison — a former public

defender himself — is investigating reforming the system by way of a new Conflict Counsel Office to manage some cases now being handled by private lawyers. He isn’t sure what the office would look like, but hopes it would include crucial support services like social workers and investigators. The city issued a request for proposals in January. Reactions have been mixed. David Rudovsky, a private lawyer and president of the Defender Association board, says, “it’s positive, in the sense that they recognize the current system is not working.” But he worries about what will replace it. The Philly Bar Association is skeptical, fearing, says Roper, that a conflict office run by a for-profit entity is “doomed to corner-cutting.” Gillison doesn’t know what the office’s budget would be. The

“Do things get missed? Of course.” city’s current spending on private appointed counsel, around $10 million, is “my starting place.” That wouldn’t be enough, according to Stretton, who has threatened to sue yet again if necessary. “The last thing I want is for this office to collapse or run out of money,” he says. Of course, Gillison says, with this hypothetical new office — as with public defenders and with any branch of government — the funding is just never enough. “I would love to be able to give everyone what they think they’re worth — and the budget would be about a trillion dollars.” Wage parity is now a priority, he says — but it will have to be negotiated among the DA, city solicitors and defenders. Gillison hopes to reach a compromise soon. Defenders say that, if he doesn’t, the attrition will worsen. “We have this total brain drain going on,” says one defender. “It affects our organization’s ability to represent people.” (samantha@citypaper.net)

D D5 =H M

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[ the naked city ]

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Hijabinistas

WORDS

SAMANTHA MELAMED PHOTOS

NEAL SANTOS

CONTINUED ON PAGE 12

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PHILLY MUSLIM WOMEN MERGE FAITH AND FASHION.

t’s the first (theoretically) annual Philly Islamic fashion convention “Show Me How 2 Cover,” and emcee Saidah Brown, a local humorist and motivational speaker, has just one question. “Now, repeat after me,” she calls out from her perch astride a gleaming runway that glows pink from within: “Why do they hate us, Saidah?” Six hundred women in folding chairs lining the runway, wearing garb ranging from merely modest to head-to-toe swaddling, and packed into echo her: “Why do they hate us?” And Brown is right there with the punch line: “Because that black just looks so good.” The crowd goes wild. The implication that there is a “they” and an “us,” and that in between snakes a thread of something resembling hatred, is one of many complicating notions surrounding Philly’s community of fervent hijabinistas — that is, women who embrace all the requirements and restrictions of hijab, the Muslim dress code, but who also want to feel chic and express who they are with fashion. In a religious culture that commands women to be modest, dressing to impress is a tricky business. And in a city where hijab has suffered a spate of bad publicity at the hands of criminals who’ve co-opted the garb in crimes ranging from bank robbery to kidnapping, celebrating Islamic fashion can also mean staring down stereotypes, adversity and sometimes outright abuse.

But Muslim women say those who don’t get where they’re coming from are not only missing the point — they’re missing a vast business opportunity. Given Philly’s booming Muslim population — estimates are tough to nail down but range from 40,000 to 200,000, with more believers “reverting” to the faith all the time — Islamic merchandise is a brisk business. Local boutiques, seamstresses and design houses are drawing clients from across the country and even overseas. And they’re pushing the envelope with looks that rethink what an observant Muslimah, or Muslim woman, looks like. The point of “Show Me How 2 Cover,” a showcase held in a converted factory building on a run-down block in Frankford on a recent Saturday afternoon, was to give women ideas and resources to help them merge faith and fashion.And women traveled from across the mid-Atlantic region to pay between $25 and $50 for the opportunity to line up 20 deep on red carpets outside, cordoned off from the crumbling sidewalk by velvet ropes. Inside, rows of vendors were showing diaphanous evening wear, sporty tunics and conservative abayas, or overgarments — some items that hijabis could safely wear in public and others that would require added layers for optimal coverage. Also included was a fashion show featuring 10 designers’ spring collections and a women-only space where they could literally let their hair down for a few hours. The event was staged by Muslimah Conventions Inc., a startup run by a group

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HIJAB WELL DONE: Keziah Ridgeway, who runs an Islamic fashion blog called Philly Hijabis Killing It, stocks her closet with a mix of custom-made overgarments and mainstream American fashions.

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of local women who want to accelerate Islamic fashion’s shift from subculture to mainstream. For 2014, they’re planning to expand the event into an international Islamic fashion week, drawing designers from the U.S., Europe and the Middle East. Shea Bates, 25, the company’s chief executive — who was wearing a silver mermaid-style gown that included a bubble skirt, a ground-sweeping hem and, of course, total head, shoulder and arm coverage — wants the event to help kick-start a fashion revolution.“Hopefully, major designers will start making stuff geared toward us. Because we spend a lot of money on the stuff that we wear. Hopefully, one day we’ll go into Macy’s and there will be abayas in Macy’s. There’s a lot boutiques, independent owners and seamstresses that sew just for us. But we would want the fashion world to take our seamstresses and put them in department stores everywhere.” Some Muslim designers are already profiting from the crossover potential of non-Muslim clients who find retail clothing too sheer or skimpy. Akilah Baynes, who helped organize the fashion show for Muslimah Conventions, has had her own design house, Akilah Fashions, since 2007. She says business is good — and getting better all the time. “The market has evolved tremendously,” she says. “It grew progressively over a short span of time.” She sews and sells everything from burkinis (full-cover swimwear) to evening gowns to medical scrubs in modest cuts, and ships her

I heard her say, ‘You know those Muslim women are kidnapping children.’” custom-made garments to clients in Wilkes-Barre, Trinidad and even Yemen — where, theoretically, there should already be plenty of Islamic fashions to choose from. But clients there tell her “they like American fashion, because it’s something different.” She hopes to open a brick-and-mortar store in West Philadelphia — “by June, inshallah” — and expand from there. After all, she has clients who travel from Atlantic City and Delaware to get fitted, and who tell her there are just no good options closer to home. She thinks she could change that. “To stop at one storefront — that’s not my goal,” she says. Na’ilah Zawjatul Yusha, who designs overgarments, scarves and accessories under the fashion label CrowCoveredCandy, says it’s only a matter of time before the U.S. catches up with other countries, where hijab-safe fashion is everywhere. “If more stores got into how they do overseas and carry Islamic garb in their stores, they would notice that their business would make a lot of money,” she says, pointing out that Muslim women can be big spenders, given the need for an at-home (and under-abaya) wardrobe in addition to modest going-out clothes. “We’re still women and we love to shop. We love to shop as much as any other woman.” “SHOW ME HOW 2 Cover” is just like any other fashion show — until it isn’t. It starts off as you’d imagine, with models streaming down the catwalk, working the flowing garments. But these models come in all shapes and sizes. The important thing, says Bates, is not so much their body type as their walk — “more of a flowing stride than a sexy strut,” to showcase the drape of each garment. “You walk differently in an abaya than you would in a pair of jeans,” she notes: “It’s a science.” On several occasions, though, the action grinds to a halt. Brown stops to point out which direction is east, toward Mecca, so that women who so choose can break for prayer. (There is some debate: Is it over by the door, or a bit to the left near the vendor who’s selling animal-print khimars for $10?) Later, Brown pauses again after noticing women snapping photos with cameraphones. She’s not pleased. Her tunic, she points out, leaves her forearms exposed; she’s only wearing such a thing without extra layers of coverage because no men are present.

Moreover, some of the models don’t even have their hair covered. “When we come out — and we don’t get out often — and we get to come out to something that’s in good taste, that’s halal,” Brown tells the crowd, it’s a rare treat. “But when you take pictures of me with my arms not covered and that girl with her hair out … and you take those pictures home and you show them to your husband to show him what he missed — well, maybe you aren’t gonna have a husband no more.” If the logic of this supposition eludes you — the home-wreckingly irresistible allure, that is, of the bare forearm — well, there’s a lot non-Muslims just don’t understand, says Sahira Taylor, 37, who was helping run the fashion show. “People will say, ‘I thought Muslim women didn’t do this or didn’t do that,’” says Taylor. And Taylor, who holds an M.B.A. and has a career in corporate mental-health care, is used to defying those expectations. That’s true of many local hijabinistas, who tend to be working mothers whose faith doesn’t dampen their career ambitions. In fact, that self-sufficiency (and disposable income) may be part of what’s driving the demand for more and better quality Islamic fashions. Nu Sbah, a Wilkes-Barre designer who runs a company called Konservative Kreations, says the bulk of her clients are working women in Philadelphia. By contrast, among the Muslim community in Wilkes-Barre, “a lot of women here don’t really come out CONTINUED ON PAGE 14

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of their homes much,” and so have little need for scarves or overgarments. But Taylor notes that when she walks down the street in Philadelphia in her modest black attire, people make assumptions about who she is. “I do wear the face veil, and I’ve had someone grab at it and say, ‘Get that off your face,’” she says. The recent kidnapping of a 5-year-old girl from a Southwest Philly elementary school by a woman in an abaya and niqab, or face veil, made matters worse. Recently, Taylor was shopping when a couple of children ran near her. Their mother called them back, saying, “You know those Muslim women are kidnapping children.” People perpetrating such crimes in disguise “don’t realize the danger they put Muslim women in,” she says. “Why would you use Islam? Why would you use any religion to commit a crime? It puts women in danger.” “YOU KNOW THE good thing about being Muslimah?” Brown asks the crowd. “Non-Muslims walk around butt naked. Our people like to leave something to the imagination.” It’s undeniable: When it comes to fashion-marketing buzzwords, many companies opt for “sexy,” “flirty” or “pretty.” But in Islamic fashion marketing, one word matters above all: “modest.” Because of that, Islamic fashion can be something of a paradox: Being noticeable, dressing to stand out, is considered immodest — so how can it be done modestly? For some, the solution is to dress exclu-

COVER GIRL: Designer and seamstress Akilah Baynes says demand is booming for her ultra-modest overgarments, tunics and even “burkinis.” For Baynes, it’s about being stylish while abiding by her religion — right down to a three-day return policy, which she says is as prescribed in the Sunnah, or Islamic code.

sively in dark colors, which are considered less conspicuous. At “Show Me How 2 Cover,” plenty of women are going this route. “This particular market seems a little more conservative; a lot of sisters are in all-black,” observes Lakisha Bellamy, a manager for the U.K.-based IslamicDesignHouse.com. Philly is a top U.S. market for the company, which sells long, loose dresses with sporty hoods and fun pocket detailing that wouldn’t seem out of place at Urban Outfitters. Taylor, who’s wearing a black abaya adorned with strands of glittering rhinestones, opts for black almost exclusively when away from home. Her explanation: “Islam is my entire way of life, and everything else falls around that. I don’t really make my Islam fit everything else, I fit everything else into my Islam.” Many other women feel the same — but not all. Dina Movich,who runs the Hartford, Conn.-based Dalliance Designers, says she began designing clothing “out of need” after she became Muslim. “As an American, these dresses, long and black, don’t appeal to me. And nowhere in my religion does it say I have to dress that way.” Instead, she makes jewel-toned dresses and flowing printed tunics; she hopes someday to be the “J. Crew of Muslim fashion.” She believes these clothes are completely acceptable under hijab, and that any further restrictions are cultural, not religious. That, of course, is up for debate. And those are just the types of arguments Keziah Ridgeway has learned to avoid. Take a link she recently posted on her Facebook page, along with the message: “Salaams!! I for one have been waiting to see something like this. However, this is NOT up for discussion.” The controversy she was trying to avoid stirring was whether breathable nail polish is acceptable for the observant Muslimah. (The trouble with regular nail polish is it makes it impossible to practice wudu, or ritual washing before

prayer. Ridgeway and others get around this by applying nail polish for special occasions, then removing it as soon as they get home.) Ridgeway, who runs an Islamic fashion blog called Philly Hijabis Killing It, says the perils of nail-polish politics are only one facet of the ever-shifting, sometimesheated conversation on the essentials of hijab. Fake hair is another, as weaves are against the rules. And there’s the issue of which types of makeup are permitted, since any cosmetics must be permeable to allow for ritual cleansing. One thing Ridgeway doesn’t have to negotiate on is her vast collection of 4and 5-inch heels. The history teacher also wears color, so much of it that her students call her “Skittles.” “In college,everyone knew me as the fashionable hijabi with the heels on,” she says. “Fashion has always been incorporated into my lifestyle as a Muslim woman.” She knows not everyone will approve of everything she wears. She’ll always be too conservative for one person and too ostentatious for another. That’s just life as a hijabinista. “I wear what I like, and I try not to worry if somebody thinks it’s too much,” she says. Besides, she says, the most important element of modesty is not a woman’s attire but her behavior: “If you see a man, then look down. Lower your gaze.” THERE’S ONE THING Philly’s hijabi culture has over its mainstream fashion counterparts: affordable bespoke fashion. CONTINUED ON PAGE 16

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There are a smattering of boutiques around town and a concentration of allpurpose Islamic shopping in the bustling 52nd Street corridor in West Philadelphia. “People travel here, to Philly, just to shop for Islamic clothes and books and CDs,” Bates says. But in many such stores, abayas and scarves are sold on overstocked racks, tucked in the back like an afterthought behind the incense, essential oils and shelf after shelf of books with titles like The Major Sins and Ninety-Nine Names of Allah. That may be convenient for onestop shopping, but Neiman Marcus it’s not.Which is one reason most self-respecting hijabinistas go straight to the source: local seamstresses. “If you buy a garment from 52nd Street, you’ll see a whole bunch of other people with that same garment on,” says Raisah Hafiz of Mount Airy, waiting for the fash-

It’s a competition: ‘Who wore it better?’” ion show to get started. “I’d rather just get something custom-made.” Hafiz and her cousin, Asia Haines, say they favor H&M, Forever 21, Target and Steve Madden for accessories, wear-at-home clothes or things to layer underneath their conservative overgarments. But when it comes to abayas or headscarves, bespoke is the only way to go — though custom tailoring doesn’t mean they won’t borrow each other’s clothes. “The sisters, they find a way to squeeze and belt [borrowed abayas],” Haines says. “It’s always a competition. Everyone looks at everyone and says, ‘That’s cute,’ or ‘I could have wore it better.’ Women will be women.” As such, they’re trend-watchers, always looking at how runway styles can be applied to their modest overgarments. Zawjatul Yusha, who runs the label CrowCoveredCandy, says when ruffles were in, she was doing tuxedo-front abayas; now, she’s borrowing current trends to incorporate black-and-white, leather accents and lace overlays into her designs. “It’s just taking the western trends and making them modest. We also create our own trends, too.” For example, bishop sleeves were everywhere at the fashion show, as were elaborate jeweled pins to keep headscarves in place.

Quandera Quick, who traveled from Brooklyn for the fashion show, says finding stylish attire made for hijabis is a relatively new experience for her. “The [Islamic] clothes in Brooklyn are pretty basic, very safe. Here, it’s much more urban.You have the opportunity to be modest and stylish at the same time,” she says. Usually, she just makes do with shopping in regular stores, which can be a gamble. Last summer, there was good news: Maxi dresses were on trend. When that happens, “you have to get them all,” she says. “If I see a maxi dress, I’ll buy every color.” By late afternoon, Quick had an armful of shopping bags — a sign that the event had been, scandalous photos of forearms aside, a success. Maybe it was that M.B.A., but Taylor wasn’t surprised: “You know women. No matter what culture you’re in, women like to shop.” (samantha@citypaper.net)

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FICTION: $5 per story. Stories should be 3,000 words or less and unpublished. No more than three ction submissions per author. POETRY: $5 per ve poems. No more than 10 poems per poet. PRIZES: Winners get divided-up entry-fee money and have their work printed in City Paper. ELIGIBILITY: Pennsylvania, New Jersey and Delaware residents are invited to participate. SUBMITTING: Make checks payable to City Paper Writing Contest at the address below or via PayPal to paypal@citypaper.net. Stories and poems should be e-mailed to gimmection@citypaper.net or mailed to: City Paper Writing Contest, 123 Chestnut St., Third Floor, Philadelphia, PA 19106.

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icepack By A.D. Amorosi

³ IT’S SAD SEEING Philly boys fighting Philly boys, even ex-patriots. In one corner, we’ve got DJ/Mad Decent label owner Diplo over in L.A. In the other, we’ve got artist Jayson Musson up in Brooklyn. Anyone keeping track knows that the “Harlem Shake” sensation — an annoying No. 1 Billboard hit credited to DJ Baauer on the Mad Decent label — owes its title sample to Musson’s old Philly rap act Plastic Little and their 2001 song “Miller Time.”And Musson wants money. Does this have to go to court? Can’t you gents just sit down at the Melrose and talk it out? ³ South Broad Street’s Dolphin Tavern put up a valiant fight last year, with weekends full of rock shows, stripteases and big beer promotions. Nothing could save it, though, and it closed up shop in August. Then along came Avram Hornik to scoop it up as a complement to his then-recent purchase of the still-unopened Boot & Saddle.Surprisingly last week I spied the Dolphin’s neon sign shining down Broad like a beacon, and heard word that Hornik (and his Four Corners Management) will reopen the Dolphin March 20 with Kraftwork bartender Matt Summers watching over the homestead. And yes, the dancing girls will return. ³You can’t walk down East Passyunk Avenue without hearing the cursed question: “Who will replace George Sabatino at Stateside?” Now it’s time for an answer: Elijah Milligan from Vernick Food & Drink and Bar Ferdinand,come on down. You’re the winner. Now start chef-ing. ³ Maybe you’ve never seen just how handsome disc jockey Randy Kotz is, what with him being locked up in a booth at WMMR and WYSP all those years. Now, the new Fishtown resident Kotz can be seen as a cranky CEO in high-profile national print and billboard ads for the Southern Nevada Water Authority. The ad was shot at Power Plant Productions on North Second Street by renowned photographer Vincent Dixon for R&R Partners.Las Vegas, baby. ³You may have missed the Pink Skull DJs’ usual Second Friday party at Johnny Brenda’s,but that doesn’t mean that you can’t give Justin Geller and Julian Grefe some money. They just released Blind Babies of the International Sunshine Society on which they sample Led Zeppelin and Quando Quango. Usually that kind of thing is either illegal or a copyright debacle, but thanks to something called Legitmix, you can buy the new music as long as you already own or also buy the stuff being sampled. More at legitmix.com. ³ Congrats to Mitch and Anne Marie Cohen of Cohen & Co. Hardware at 615 Passyunk Ave. near South Street. They’re celebrating 100 years and four generations of family ownership, and will host a swell celebration before summer hits. ³ More swellness at citypaper.net/criticalmass. (a_amorosi@citypaper.net)

COLONELS OF TRUTH: (L-R) Marjani Clark, Hezekiah Davis and Lloyd Alexander of Johnny Popcorn. MARK STEHLE

[ hip-hop/soul/funk ]

THE NEXT EPISODE Hezekiah Davis gets hot and salty with Johnny Popcorn. By A.D. Amorosi

ezekiah Davis has two very different sides to his musical personality. There’s the West Philly-based, Delaware-and-West Chester-raised guy who made strange, conscious hip-hop under his own name. Hezekiah’s albums Hurry Up and Wait and I Predict a Riot were the toast of indie hip-hop, a sound Davis knew intimately from his time toying with Bahamadia, Grand Agent and The Roots before their major-label days. And then there is Johnny Popcorn, the abrasively soulful newwave-avant-funk ensemble in which Davis shows off his loud and lyrically caustic side. In sound and vision, the project reveals Davis’ deep roots, going back to his family’s origins in Kentucky and North Carolina. “My dad and uncles were real sarcastic assholes,” says Davis, laughing. “I’m probably a bigger asshole than they.” He calls his mom and pop the family’s true weirdos, “punk-funk heads” that raised him with a flair for the dramatic — “I was doing black theater in the ’80s before doing black theater was cool” — and a feel for the funk. “I can recite Grace Jones and Gil Scott-Heron songs back to front, but couldn’t sing a Marvin Gaye song to save my life.” Add Tone Whitfield, best known as Bilal’s musical director, to the mix, and Johnny Popcorn’s debut album, The Crow, is a tasty, cack-

ling mess along the lines of Janelle Monae or N.E.R.D. Davis has been a part of the scene since before Meek Mill was born. We laugh about lounges and events gone by — Wilhelmina’s, Footwork parties with DJ Rich Medina — and how Davis promoted rap-and-dance jams under his Beat Society moniker. “Remember that, remember that,” he says as we run down a murderers’ row of names, places and introductions.“Chuck Treece led me to Tone, who introduced me to Bilal with Musiq Soulchild in the room,” says Davis. The nu-soul community was tight back then. “Talk with one person, then somebody else co-signs for your credibility.” Davis never needed anybody to prove his mettle. Recalling the indie labels he was on — like Rawkus, then home to Mos Def and Talib Kweli — and the conscious rappers he’s known, Davis questions how truly independent they have been since then. He always wanted a manager but couldn’t find one who had as many connections in the biz as he did, so Davis managed himself. He learned to book his own gigs, figure out his flight and hotel plans and make deals with promoters. “I might’ve sold more units [by working with a manager], but I wouldn’t have had that say-so, that self-control,” he says. True independence also meant he didn’t want to rely on someone else to make his name or guide his way. “I didn’t want to glom onto anyone,” he says, taking his diplomatic time and measuring his words. “Then and now, I can either be Hezekiah or I can be amongst a list of people under

“My dad and uncles were real sarcastic assholes.”

>>> continued on page 20

the naked city | feature

[ most eloquent in the shadows ] ³ dvd/blu-ray

Former Philly duo Panda Riot dropped their dream-pop debut way back in 2007. They’ve long since decamped to Chicago and expanded to a four-piece (adding a drummer; keeping the drum machines), but it’s taken them a while to dive back into that luscious headspace for a full-length follow-up. Northern Automatic Music (Saint Marie), belying its mechanistic title, is polished but still hugely personable, molding the smoothed-out squall of textbook shoegaze into intriguing, too-short instrumentals and full-blooded pop songs.

Joel and Ethan Coen followed their Cannes champion Barton Fink with The Hudsucker Proxy, a zippy farce about the cruel world of enterprise. With its hyper-stylized performances, including Jennifer Jason Leigh’s delirious riff on Rosalind Russell in His Girl Friday, Hudsucker almost begs to be seen as a lark, undisciplined artists running amok with their first big checks. But with Warner Bros. adding Blu-ray to their on-demand service, Hudsucker re-emerges —Sam Adams as a splendid farce with melancholy undertones.

³ irish On the new Shamrock City (and always) Solas asserts itself as an Irish-American band to the fullest: fiddle, accordion, whistle, banjo and a plethora of other strings carry compositions that range from traditional to Appalachian to contemporary acoustic. Seamus Egan and Mick McAuley need no help on the vocals, but welcome the soft tones of Aoife O’Donovan (“Arbor Day”) and the barely constrained joy of Rhiannon Giddens urging coal miners to “Lay Your Money Down.” Philly heroes like Chico Huff (bass), Mike Brenner (dobro) and John Anthony (percussion) join in. —Mary Armstrong

flickpick

—K. Ross Hoffman

³ country/pop/reissue “Beware of time, it can make a fool of you,” twangs L.A. country-rocker Chris Darrow (and friends) on one of his debut LP’s sharpest hooks. But 40 years haven’t blunted the casual charms of 1972’s lost-in-the-shuffle Artist Proof (handsomely reissued on Drag City). Darrow nails that warm ’n’ mellow, oh-so-SoCal vibe, but his songwriting shines just as bright, spanning languid, raggedly rootsy-pop nuggets, tear-stained ballads, Stones-y rockers (“New Zoot”) and boogie-woogie yarn-spinning (“Cocaine Lil”). —K. Ross Hoffman

[ movie review ]

LIKE SOMEONE IN LOVE [ B+ ] In the oft-sung standard that lends Abbas Kiarostami’s latest film its title, it’s

Languorous and lyrical role-playing.

It’s just one disc, but, it is a foot in a very big door. ³ LOCAL CLASSICAL MUSICIANS are finding themselves in the studio with greater frequency lately, and the most exciting news on this front is Yannick and the Orchestra are making a recording on the vaunted Deutsche Grammophon label. It’s just one disc — featuring the rather hackneyed Bach/Stokowski transcriptions — but it is a foot in a very big door. Lots of new music from our composer community, too, including a vibrant disc of varied chamber music for flute, clarinet and piano from Daniel Dorff. His album is titled Perennials,and the material conjures brilliant floral bouquets: upbeat jazzy rhythms, luminous color and an elegant tribute to Bach. Dorff’s good humor makes many appearances, including a tribute to the old Steve Poses restaurant Frög, at which many of his fellow music students at the time worked the piano bar. The wonderful performances match the éclat of the music. The music of David Bennett Thomas offers a somewhat darker profile. He uses similar instrumentation as Dorff does, including flute, clarinet and piano, but adds the deeper tones of viola and cello. His pacing is more deliberate, leading him to introspective exposition.The composer’s voice is not without brightness, and even some sprightliness, but he is most eloquent in the shadows, especially when he is exploring the textures of the instruments. A highlight of the album is the luscious music he wrote for the British alto and bass flutist Carla Rees. The New York state label Bridge seems to favor Philadelphia composers and musicians, most notably for their landmark series of recordings of the works of George Crumb, a project that has received worldwide acclaim. They have just released a highly satisfying set of the complete music for violin and piano of Beethoven, featuring Philadelphia Orchestra violinist Barbara Govatos and the superb pianist and Bryn Mawr native Marcantonio Barone. Sure, the material hasn’t been lacking in top-flight recordings, but this bold, richly expressive playing warrants comparison to the best. (p_burwasser@citypaper.net)

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TONGUE-TIED: Engaged to be married, Akiko (Rin Takanashi) keeps her work as a call girl secret.

HEAR HERE

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that first little word that gives the lyric its wry twist. Whether gazing at stars or hearing guitars, the singer (Kiarostami opts for Ella Fitzgerald’s rendition) can’t quite admit her own feelings just as the three main characters in Like Someone in Love suffer from a similar disconnect.The Tokyo-set Like Someone in Love (Kiarostami’s second narrative film shot outside of his native Iran) shares with its predecessor Certified Copy a sense of role-playing within relationships between people who at least seem to be strangers. The reality here isn’t nearly as elusive or slippery as in his earlier film; while the characters’ backstories remain ambiguous, they at least remain consistent. Instead, Kiarostami keeps the viewer off balance through the silences and absences within his frame. The director’s evasive intentions are clear from the opening shot as a cell-phone conversation takes place: Although the camera lingers on customers in a bar, none of them is the speaker. Eventually, the voice is revealed to belong to Akiko (Rin Takanashi), a young prostitute having problems with her possessive fiancé (Ryo Kase). She’s sent to the home of an elderly professor (Tadashi Okuno), who seems more interested in company than in sex. The next day, he chauffeurs her around, allowing for some of the most languorous and lyrical of Kiarostami’s trademark sequences set in cars. The professor is a writer and translator, and as Akiko arrives at an apartment, he’s on the phone with a persistent client who asks for a translation without knowing exactly what he wants to say — just that he trusts in the old man’s gift with words to express his meaning. Each of Kiarostami’s characters end up playing parts in the others’ eyes, defined not by who they claim to be, but by who the others assume them to be — a subtle, but ultimately fateful distinction. —Shaun Brady

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[ arts & entertainment ]

✚ The Next Episode <<< continued from page 18

“I can tell that I’m confusing the audience.” someone’s roof. I didn’t ever want to depend on someone else for making my next move.” What guides Davis’ next move is his songwriting. If a song is slower, thoughtful and hip-hoppity, it becomes a solo jam. If it’s “riff-heavy, rolls off the tongue and is more filling, then it’s Johnny Popcorn,” he says. Hez music is the head and the heart. Johnny Popcorn is all stomach and groin. For all of his cocksure swagger and sardonic rhapsody on The Crow, once he hits the stage, Davis’ Popcorn persona is quick to let you know that he’s more of a vocalist (a la Dylan) than a singer (like Bowie). For the record, Davis shows off a lovely, loose warble on songs like “Hush” and “Next Episode.” “When you grow up in church with church singers, you can’t help but get insecure about your voice unless you’re wailing like Whitney Houston or Luther Vandross,” says Davis. “Blame the Baptist church for that insecurity.” There is no insecurity to Davis/Popcorn’s lyrical stance. On The Crow, he rants about wearing rubbers, pot, politics and masturbation. His dry sarcasm is, as he says, way more Chris Rock than Cornel West. “I can tell that when I’m doing the Johnny Popcorn thing that I’m confusing the audience,” says Davis about songs like “Hello to the Bad Guy.” “But I thrive on that. I have assholes in my family. My pal Bilal is a total sarcastic asshole. Pagan Babies, System of a Down — I love them. I know it could turn people off, but there are certain harsh realities that you can say — social things, political things, relationship things — that go better when they’re funnier.” (a_amorosi@citypaper.net) ✚ Johnny Popcorn plays Thu., March 14, 8:30

p.m., $8-$10, with Zuzi Anablogue, The Divine Lorraines, Rage Da Messenga and Poin Dexter, Balcony at the Trocadero, 1003 Arch St., 215-9226888, thetroc.com.

✚ DIGITAL ECSTASY The paper can only hold so much stuff. For more coverage of arts, music, etc., check out City Paper’s A&E blog, citypaper.net/criticalmass.

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[ arts & entertainment ]

³ THE LARGE GALLERY space at Drexel’s new

URBN Center is bathed in shadow, bringing an eerie, science-museum quiet to Wangechi Mutu’s current show, which features video and sculpture in addition to the confident, critical collages for which she is best known. It’s an excellent, ambitious show for the debut of the newly expanded Leonard Pearlstein Gallery. The survey of Kenya-born, Brooklyn-based Mutu’s work from the early 2000s through 2012 is, as a whole, super-thoughtful, critical and beautiful. The artist manages to walk the walk on a hard-tonavigate tightrope — unabashedly confronting and exploiting the stereotypes of both femininity and African-ness without becoming pigeonholed by her subject matter. (For a show that couldn’t pull off the balancing act, check out the sprawling, problematic mishmash of really great work that is “The Female Gaze” at PAFA through April 7.) Mutu’s collage work anchors the exhibit, collapsing the distinction between types of objectifying gazes: pornographic, medical and anthropological. A subset of 32 intimate, postcard-size collages are installed as The Ark Collection.They are displayed in cabinet-of-curiosities-style vitrines that evoke 19th-century colonialism — the taxonomic gaze of the gentleman naturalist-explorer. The foundations of the 32 collages come from a book of postcards titled Women of the African Ark by Carol Beckwith, an American photojournalist known for documenting tribal culture in Africa for National Geographic. The postcards, featuring portraits of indigenous women in exotic garb, are obviously meant to be bought by westerners and mailed to other westerners. (They are also available in wall-calendar form.) In some of the Ark collages, this indigenousculture porn is mixed with pornographic images of dark-skinned women. A naked arm and thighs frame/embrace an anthropological-looking image of a beautiful woman in a colorful wrap sitting on a fence and surrounded by vegetation — both women are objectified, but the western eye might not detect it in the National Geographic-esque image alone. In other postcard collages, women become animalwomen, artifact-women or machine-women. In the

darkened quiet, you become more aware that each dismantled representation is its own fiction. In the more medium-scale 2001 series The Histology of the Different Tumors of the Uterus, Mutu uses asphalt/charcoal, glitter, collage and ink to reclaim historical medical illustrations of women’s reproductive organs — faces emerge from faceless pathology. There’s more drawing here, revealing Mutu’s virtuosity with pen, ink and brush — which can also be observed around the corner in 2001’s Pinup series, which uses similar techniques on images looking at women’s bodies with a pornographic rather than medical gaze. The exploration of identity and surface continues in the video component of the show. One video, Cleaning Earth, is projected directly onto felt — the fabric’s nubbly surface distorts the image, rendering it painterly and mysterious. Mutu’s projected figure, scrubbing at the surface of the gallery wall, stands as a testament to her efforts in changing the way women are depicted. The collages mentioned so far are at least a decade old. Having seen some of Mutu’s most recent collage work at the art fairs in New York this past weekend — fantastic and symbolic, utilizing even more sculptural materials like hair extensions, feathers and jewelry — the closest thing in this show to what the artist is doing currently is 2010’s Three Huggers (above). A female figure clings to a tree, her face a mélange of images: twine and trumpet form a cheek, machinery is revealed in her head, legs make a nose and a fall of hair morphs into a threatening snake. You want to see women turning things on their heads? You want to see a show about femininity that does not include a wall of cat paintings? You want an identity show that does not pigeonhole itself? See this. (alison.dell@citypaper.net) ✚ Through March 30, Leonard

Pearlstein Gallery, URBN Center Annex, Drexel University, 3401 Filbert St., 215-895-2548, drexel.edu.

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(Not reviewed) (Loews Cherry Hill, Rave)

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THE INCREDIBLE BURT WONDERSTONE | CThe 40 Year Old Virgin and Little Miss Sunshine helped Steve Carell earn his status as America’s favorite heartbreaking project of a leading man, his unacted-upon seething and downtrodden diction endearing him to the put-upon. That’s why it’s strange to admit that his latest seemingly well-tailored character — a past-his-prime illusionist — might be his least likable role yet. After a decade on the Vegas Strip, Burt Wonderstone (Carell) and codependent partner Anton Marvelton (Steve Buscemi) are told to adapt or die — both by their well-heeled boss (James Gandolfini), who deems their act stale, and by upstart performer Steve Gray (Jim Carrey), who’s fond of grotesque, David Blainelike publicity stunts. Banished to performing at an old-folks home, Burt later connects with former assistant/budding magician Jane (Olivia Wilde) and childhood idol Rance Holloway (Alan Arkin, gotta love him) en route to a splashy, top-that comeback. While it reads like lowbrow gold, there are simply not enough sincere belly laughs wedged into Wonderstone, which is weighed down by everything from Carell’s affected, unfunny accent to the lack of chemistry between Burt and Jane, despite Wilde having a better grasp on comedic back-and-forth than most. The most misused comic might be Carrey, who shrieks and face-scrunches like he’s back on In Living Color and only seems to be enjoying it half the time. —Drew Lazor (Loews Cherry Hill, Rave) LIKE SOMEONE IN LOVE | B+ See Shaun Brady’s review on p. 19. (Ritz at the Bourse)

LORE | C+ In 2004, Australian writer/director Cate Shortland made an auspicious feature debut with her film Somersault. Her follow-up, Lore, continues to demonstrate her expertise at depicting a teenage girl’s coming of age. However, Shortland’s approach here — impressionistic imagery and an elliptical narrative — fails to spellbind. Set in 1945 Germany, Lore centers on the title character, Hannalore (Saskia Rosendahl) as she guides her four siblings 500 miles across the Black Forest to their grandmother’s farm after they are abandoned by their Nazi parents. Following a series of vivid encounters with strangers, Lore meets Thomas (Kai Malina), a Jew. Shortland creates miniature dramas between Lore and Thomas, but there is scarcely any real emotion — the film is best when the landscape expresses what the characters are feeling. Lore generates more power and grief when a porcelain deer is broken (a heavy-handed symbol of lost innocence) than when a child is killed. Rosendahl gives a strong performance, but neither it nor the outstanding cinematography by Adam Arkapaw can redeem the film’s slow, somber and uninvolving qualities. —Gary M. Kramer (Ritz at the Bourse) NO | A A canny comedy and cutting critique, Pablo Larraín’s No looks back at the 1980 vote to extend or end Chilean autocrat Augusto Pinochet’s rule through an adman’s eyes. René Saavedra (Gael García Bernal) is accustomed to using the language of liberation to sell soft drinks, but when he’s placed in charge of the nightly 15 minutes of TV time devoted to the no-confidence vote, he’s marketing the genuine article. Given that Pinochet covertly executed thousands of political opponents, the case against him would seem obvious, but René goes a happier route. Instead of recalling secret torture

No one expects the writers of The Hangover to have a light touch with race and gender, but Jon Lucas and Scott Moore’s collegiate romp is disturbingly tone-deaf about two topics that should never be packaged with dick jokes: gun violence and suicide. Visiting Jeff Chang (Justin Chon), the high-school pal they always address by his full name, boorish white boys Miller (Miles Teller) and Casey (Skylar Astin) are hellbent on getting their tightly wound buddy wasted — even though he has a huge med-school interview the next morning. Miller and Casey’s gradual realization that Jeff is not the clean-cut, straight-A student they always knew him to be is their attempt at bringing a friends-forever moral to the beer-pong table, but it’s botched so badly that it taints every boys-will-beboys moment. Sneaking into a sorority house? Fine, that’s funny. On-campus firearms and hidden attempts to off oneself are not. —DL (Rave)

BARBARA | A In Christian Petzold’s pensive drama Barbara, the wind that scours the countryside is as much of a character as the eponymous female doctor (Nina Hoss), banished to a rural hospital after expressing her wish to leave East Germany. From the first scene, when her new colleagues gaze at her from a distance as she enjoys a solitary cigarette, Barbara (Nina Hoss) is constantly under surveillance — mostly by the brutal Stasi, who violate her with regular cavity searches, although everyone, from colleague to patient, is a potential spy. Even if she weren’t planning to cross the Wall to be with her West German lover, she’d be a suspect anyway. Everyone is. Barbara is Hoss’ fifth film with Petzold, and the movie rests on the depth and subtlety of their working relationship. Petzold trusts the actress to allow her character’s humanity to seep through, even as she shirks from human contact.There’s a persistent streak of melodrama at Barbara’s core, but it’s melodrama through the wrong end of a telescope, without overbearing music or portentous dialogue. The movie is dense but never feels arduous — assembled with easy mastery, it is engrossing throughout. —SA (Ritz Five) DEAD MAN DOWN | C For his first big-screen project since 2009’s The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, Niels Arden Oplev goes looking for

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right. There is an overreliance on CGI, but it never gets too Transformers-y; the kids won’t recoil and their parents won’t revolt. —DL (Rave)

THE LAST EXORCISM, PART II A haiku: Just days away from retirement, a wily pope tries for one last score. (Not reviewed)

OZ: THE GREAT AND POWERFUL | C+ In his Evil Dead films, Sam Raimi’s camera careens around those cursed

that it’s Victor — actually a Hungarian immigrant named Laszlo — orchestrating the harassment in retribution for the death of his family years earlier. The already slow-dragging campaign stutters even more, however, once Victor’s neighbor Beatrice (Oplev’s OG Noomi Rapace, who played Lisbeth in Dragon Tattoo) blackmails him into offing the man responsible for the facial disfigurement that triggers street kids to taunt her as “monster.” Everybody hurts, emotionally raw people can heal each other via illicit coping and — OK, we get it, let’s see some gunfights. Oplev kills it in the killing department, maestro-ing a wild handful of unpredictable sequences, including an insane résumé piece shot in Center City. Too bad J.H. Wyman’s script is tonally bizarre, trying so hard to pass as urban poetry that it can’t pass as even remotely human. —DL

EMPEROR A haiku: Tommy Lee Jones as a befuddled MacArthur in postwar Japan. (Not reviewed) (Ritz at the Bourse)

THE GATEKEEPERS A haiku: A doc on Shin Bet — Israeli secret service, not, like, leg gambling. (Not reviewed) (Ritz Five)

JACK THE GIANT SLAYER | BFee-fi-fo-fum: All this CGI is dumb. It’ll be easy for practical-FX purists to hack Bryan Singer apart for the visual approach of his tricked-out fairy tale: “high gloss, low heart” goes the screed. But while the director has created what looks like a million-shekel iPhone game, the flesh and blood of Jack the Giant Slayer is unexpectedly buoyant due to Jack’s young stars. As a lad, the head-in-the-clouds farm boy (Nicholas Hoult) loves the monster-filled bedtime yarns spun by his father. Same goes for

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THE WAITING ROOM | AAs the debate over healthcare reform rages on, this gripping documentary offers an essential view into the American system. Set at a public hospital in Oakland, California, The Waiting Room follows over-worked, under-supplied doctors and needy patients who wrongly rely on the ER as a way of managing their medical issues. In a 24-hour period, 241 patients — many of whom are underinsured — filter through the sluggish and dysfunctional process of receiving care. Director Peter Nicks’ tender and dignified portrayals of all involved make for a compelling film.

21 AND OVER | C-

Princess Isabelle (Eleanor Tomlinson), who’s lulled to sleep the same way by her queen mum. Skipping ahead, Jack is still poor, orphaned and struggling to maintain his dumpy farmhouse; Isabelle rebels against her royal poppa (Ian McShane), who’s arranged for her to marry next-level scumbag Roderick (Stanley Tucci). Having drawn his uncle’s ire for trading a monk a horse for “magic” beans, a dejected Jack’s spirits are lifted by a visit from Princess Isabelle — who’s literally lifted when a discarded bean erupts and sends his domicile, complete with princess, blasting into the stratosphere. Cutting large-scale battles with small-scale trickery, Jack gets action

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The English-language debut of Park Chan-wook (Oldboy) is a fascinating if sometimes ungainly hybrid, a gory Gothic Frankenstein: It’s a cyborg, but that’s OK. The script, by Prison Break’s Wentworth Miller, is a trifle, but Park spins ornate variations on its clumsy themes. India Stoker (Mia Wasikowska) is an alabaster wisp, withdrawn but eerily self-possessed, like an eggshell waiting to be cracked. Enter charismatic Uncle Charles (Matthew Goode), a globe-trotting dandy whose dark side is almost comically apparent. Goode’s sly malevolence teeters on the edge of camp, but Park strikes a perfect balance, using Lee Hazlewood and Nancy Sinatra’s gloriously overwrought “Summer Wine” as a key to the movie’s aesthetic. The movie’s best scenes are virtually plotless, especially a hothouse piano duet between India and Charles that rivals Oldboy’s hallway scene in sheer mastery. As the mother who realizes too late what’s been happening in her house, Nicole Kidman has a bum part, all porcelain placidity and slowly dawning horror, but Park’s direction shows little of the tone-deaf quality common to directors making their first film in a foreign tongue. Stoker works mostly as a mood piece, but what a mood it is. —SA (Ritz East)

CONTINUING

art in all the wrong places, crafting a visually breathtaking sorta-noir that looks, but doesn’t sound, the part. Victor (Colin Farrell, glower knob twisted to max) is trusted muscle for gangster Alphonse (Terrence Howard), who for months has been shaken by cryptic threats that escalate with the discovery of another lieutenant’s body in a chest freezer. Boss man doesn’t have a clue

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STOKER | B+

While scenes of staggering bureaucracy can be enough to raise one’s blood pressure, this worthwhile film needs to be seen. —GK (Ritz at the Bourse)

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chambers — a total downer — he crafts sunny jingles about a post-Pinochet future, turning a negative vote into a rainbow-hued positive. Larraín, whose Post Mortem and Tony Manero offered distinctly bloodier takes on his country’s past, incorporates copious amounts of archival footage (as much as one-third of the final product), shooting the rest on smeary 4:3 videotape to blur the dividing lines. Chilean critics have accused Larraín, whose father is a prominent right-wing politician, of playing fast and loose with history, but it’s clear his real target is the present day, when revolutionary rhetoric is inconceivable outside the commercial framework. René’s side may have won the battle, but No argues with blackened humor that they lost the war. —Sam Adams (Ritz Five)

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woods like a mad dog let off its leash. The mind reels at the Emerald City and enchanted forests that Sam Raimi might have conjured with a 3D camera, but unfortunately those images remain in the mind. For the most part, this Oz bears an unfortunate resemblance to Tim Burton’s vision of Wonderland, down to its ponderous Danny Elfman score. Both bloat the familiar landscapes of childhood into eye-achingly candy-colored battlegrounds, trading whimsy for action and heart for explosions. This Disney-produced prequel traces the arrival of the Wizard, aka Oscar Diggs (James Franco), a Kansas flim-flam man with outsized ambitions. The

three witches – Mila Kunis, Rachel Weisz and Michelle Williams – are more interesting characters, but their fates are circumscribed by the wellknown original, and they’re mostly left to glower and shoot finger-sparks at one another. Franco is a slyly eccentric actor who constantly subverts his leading-man looks; where Robert Downey, Jr. (the first actor approached for the role) excels at self-interested con men who gradually succumb to their better natures, Franco always seems on the verge of bursting into mocking laughter at the inauthenticity of it all. His casting is deadly to the digitally concocted fantasy world, at which his eyes appear to roll, not marvel. —SB (Rave)

THE SWEENEY | C+ The Sweeney, aka Scotland Yard’s robbery-squelching Flying Squad, inspired four seasons of British television in the ’70s. This modern breakdown of the famously unorthodox (read: corrupt) unit by writer/director Nick Love generates a good bit of bollocksgrasping excitement, but squanders its highs with too many dulling lows. Famous for his book-’em-Danno-style catchphrase (“You’re nicked!”) and the quickness with which he cracks bad-guy bones, Sweeney leader Jack Regan (who else but Ray Winstone?) does right by doing wrong. Backed by protégé George (Ben Drew) and clandestine screw-buddy Nancy (Hayley Atwell), Jack begins investigating a knock-over of a small jewelry shop that ended with the brutal execution of a seemingly innocent civilian. Any good caper vehicle needs strong chase scenes and shootouts, and Love more than delivers in this regard — the weaponized footrace through Trafalgar Square is the movie’s most exhilarating segment. It’s the time between these sequences that comes off pale and plodding. No one needs engrossing character development in a heist flick, but we at least want to stay on the right side of boring. —DL

610-527-9898, brynmawrfilm.org. Howl’s Moving Castle (2004, Japan, 119 min.): A young woman seeks help from a wizard after being cursed with the body of an old woman. Sat., March 16, 11 a.m., $5. Deliverance (1972, U.S., 110 min.): “I bet you can squeal like a pig.” Tue., March 19, 7 p.m., $10.50. Women’s Edge Film Series: Three shorts for Women’s History Month, on the online pro-eating-disorder community, tomboys and stereotypes about Asian-American women. Wed., March 20, 7:30 p.m., $10.50.

COLONIAL THEATRE 227 Bridge St., Phoenixville, 610-9171228, thecolonialtheatre.com. The Tale of Despereaux (2008, U.S., 93 min.): This animated flick features the young mouse Despereaux, who becomes an unlikely hero. Sat., March 16, 2 p.m., $5. MST3K: Gamera vs. Guiron (1969, Japan, 90 min.): Joel and the bots ridicule this ridiculous movie where two annoying kids are abducted by aliens. Fri., March 15, 9:45 p.m., $9. Point Blank (1967, U.S., 92 min.): After being betrayed and left for dead, a man tries to reclaim the money that was taken from him. Sun., March 17, 2 p.m., $9.

COUNTY THEATER

✚ REPERTORY FILM AMBLER THEATER 108 E. Butler Ave., Ambler, 215-3457855, amblertheater.org. Days of Heaven (1978, U.S., 94 min.): In Malick’s beautiful sophomore film, a couple working on a farm try to claim their dying boss’s fortune. Wed., March 20, 7:30 p.m., $9.75.

BRYN MAWR FILM INSTITUTE 824 W. Lancaster Ave., Bryn Mawr,

20 E. State St., Doylestown, 215-3456789, countytheater.org. Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure! (1985, U.S., 90 min.): “I’m a loner, Dottie. A rebel.” Sat., March 16, 10:30 a.m., $4. Food, Inc. (2008, U.S., 94 min.): An eye-opening doc about America’s food industry. Wed., March 20, 7:30 p.m., $10.

Train (1980, U.S., 97 min.) and Horror

March 15, 8 p.m., $15.

FRIENDS OF THE PHILADELPHIA CITY INSTITUTE LIBRARY Free Library, Philadelphia City Institute Branch, 1905 Locust St., 215-6856621, freelibrary.org. Mr. Holland’s Opus (1996, U.S., 143 min.): Uplifting until the very end, when it becomes clear to the audience that his opus is terrible. Wed., March 20, 2 p.m., free.

HISTORY AND MYSTERY CINEMA Penn Museum, 3260 South St., 215898-2680, penn.museum. Clash of the Titans (2010, U.S., 106 min.): Penn professor Ralph Rosen supplies live commentary pointing out the myriad ways Hollywood screwed up the Greek myth. (Spoiler: For one, “kraken” is from Norse mythology.) Wed., March 20, 7 p.m., free with $12 museum admission.

INTERNATIONAL HOUSE 3701 Chestnut St. 215-387-5125, ihousephilly.org. Visiting Filmmaker: The Beaches of Agnès (2008, France, 110 min.): Director Agnès Varda will be in attendance at this screening of her documentary memoir. Awkward ... Thu., March 14, 7 p.m., $9. Early Marker — Collaborations: A collection of shorts that Chris Marker either created or co-directed with iconic filmmakers like Alain Resnais. Sat., March 16, 7 p.m., $9. Nothing But a Man (1964, U.S., 92 min.): A milestone indie on the struggles of a young black man in the 1960s South. Wed., March 20, 7 p.m., $9.

EXHUMED FILMS International House, 3701 Chestnut St. 215-387-5125, exhumedfilms.com. All Aboard for Horror: A pairing of train-related cult horror films, Terror

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Express (1972, U.S., 90 min.). Fri.,

“Your mother is a fraggin’ aardvark!” Fri., March 15, midnight., $9.50.

SECRET CINEMA Woodmere Art Museum, 9201 Germantown Ave., 215-247-0476 thesecretcinema.com. B-Picture Double Feature: A celebration of early genre talkies with The Crime of Helen Stanley (1934, U.S., 58 min.), a murder mystery in a movie studio, and the WWII-era Madame Spy (1942, U.S., 63 min.), plus a few surprise shorts. Tue., March 19, 7 p.m., free.

UNKNOWN JAPAN PhilaMOCA, 531 N. 12th St., 267-5199651, unknown-japan.com. University of Laughs (2004, Japan, 121 min.): A government censor attempts to enlist the help of a playwright to tweak his comedic script. Wed., March 20, 7:30 p.m., free.

WOODEN SHOE BOOKS 704 South St., 215-413-0999, woodenshoebooks.com. Growing Up Female (1971, U.S., 50 min.): The first film of the modern women’s liberation movement highlights the socialization of American women. Sat., March 16, 7 p.m., free.

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play, adult siblings revisit the remote and hostile Canadian woods that, as children, they dubbed Madville. The Canadian native admits it’s a

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Sat, March 16th, 9pm, Donations @ Door Full Blown Cherry with Lisa Doll & the Rock N Roll Romance and The Mad Doctors

—Mark Cofta

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purring, organ-drenched instrumental atmospheres float atop an ever-lingering sense of menace and mystery, perfect shrouds for Cave’s evocative, increasingly surreal storytelling — as likely to reference quantum physics and Wikipedia as ancient mythology and blues folklore. His poetry remains as primal and libidinal as ever.

West Philly’s plucky Curio Theatre Company, which has carved two innovative theater spaces out of the decaying Calvary Church, continues its seventh season with a new play by artistic director Paul Kuhn, also the company’s resourceful resident designer and a featured actor. In his

memory play, “but it also deals with the fact that memories are very fragmented, and it’s hard to piece them together. Hopefully, the audience will see something in their own childhood, that moment of, ‘Oh my God, why didn’t we die?’” Both characters and audience must puzzle over whose memories are more accurate — and more harrowing.

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✚ MADVILLE

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WEDNESDAY

of guitars) for a sign that the man’s getting soft in his mere mid-50s. Push the Sky Away (Bad Seed Ltd.) may be a restrained affair — but only in the manner of something that just might erupt if not forcibly held back. These

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inseason By Adam Erace

KALE Each month, Adam Erace picks a crop that’s in season locally rightthisveryminute and asks some of the city’s best chefs how they’re preparing it.

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Gnashing through kale is really satisfying. ³ IS THIS WHAT early pioneers felt like? Gastronomically fatigued from root crops and cellared onions? We’re nearly out of the winter woods, but before ramp hysteria ensues, heralding spring with its burst of green garlicky goodness, there’s a sturdier leaf that deserves our attention until chefs squire it away for another year: kale. “Kale grows really well in this region,” says Kennett’s Brian Ricci, who sources the firm, stippled black-green Tuscan or Lacinato varieties from farms like Taproot and Culton, as well as grows his own in his backyard and community-garden plot. “It is hardy. I’ve got a couple rows that wintered over and have begun producing more leaves already!” Ricci can be credited with kicking off Philly’s rawkale-salad craze, a dish that’s been on his menu since the restaurant opened in 2010. “It stands up well to dressing five minutes before serving, unlike most greens, which tend to wilt quickly after being dressed,” he says. “The slight crunch I get when gnashing through kale is really satisfying.” At Talula’s Garden, Sean McPaul uses three varieties of mineral-and-antioxidant-rich kale: “Tuscan, which is my favorite; green kale, which has curly leaves; and last, we have kale sprouts, which are actually a cross between kale and Brussels sprouts,” which share brassica-family DNA with kale, broccoli and cauliflower. “I probably eat more of this family of food than any other over the course of the year.” McPaul stews the versatile greens as an accompaniment to Fontina and pistachios; blanches then buzzes them with mint, chervil, garlic and anchovy into a sauce vert for swordfish; and dehydrates them into a powder that’s added to cavatelli dough. Kate Hartman, soup mistress of farmers-market fixture Good Spoon, uses kale in three hearty soups: veggie white bean and kale, chorizo and farro with kale, and chickpea and lentil with kale and potatoes. “I actually think any hearty green is great for adding flavor and texture (and vitamins!) to soup, but kale is by far my favorite,” she says. Like the aforementioned chefs, Hartman is a big proponent of kale. “We eat some version of a kale salad about four nights a week at my house.” Which begs the question: What time is dinner? (adam.erace@citypaper.net)

MIAN MAN: Hand-pulled noodles from boil to bowl at Nan Zhou Hand Drawn Noodle House. NEAL SANTOS

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NOODLING AROUND Slap, stretch, repeat: looking for la mian in Chinatown. By Caroline Russock

uring the past year or so, ramen has experienced quite the renaissance in our fair city with shops and pop-ups featuring shio and tonkotsu broth filled with noodles, slices of rosy fish cake and fatty slabs of pork belly springing to life virtually everywhere. But there’s another noodle happing in Philadelphia, not quite as sleek as the ones at these newly minted ramenyas (noodle shops), but one that’s worth investigating, because after all, ramen is made with traditional Chinese-style noodles. Originating in Lanzhou, a northwestern Chinese province, the process of making la mian, More on: or hand-drawn noodles is one that’s eye-catching to say the least. La mian makers begin with a wheat flour dough that’s kneaded, stretched, slapped, twisted, folded and stretched again until threads of long, ropey noodles emerge. It’s loud, labor intensive and visually arresting and there are a few spots in Chinatown where you can witness the magic firsthand, watching seasoned la mian pros transform a simple mix of flour and water into noodles through a process that’s, well, according to the Yummy Lan Zhou Hand Drawn Noodle House (131 N. 10th St.) menu, equal parts art and kung fu. A relative newcomer on the hand-drawn scene, Yummy Lan Zhou’s serves thin, hand-drawn noodles or raggedy-rustic shaved

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noodles stir-fried or in soup along with a selection of appetizers that range from the familiar (think crab cheese rangoon, and steamed dumplings) to the more out-there (a cold platter of tangy, oceanic marinated sea vegetables, cucumbers and sesame). The House Special Noodle soup is a bowl of al dente noodles (for lack of proper Chinese terminology for a noodle with stand-up bite) along with three kinds of beef (including tendon and fatty brisket) in an anise-y, cinnamon-y broth that takes you right to the pho parlors of Washington Avenue. The soup gets a bit of green from spinach and cilantro and pickled mustard greens; chile oil, white pepper, sriracha, soy and vinegar sit on the table to add heat and acid. But the real winner at Yummy is the shaved noodles with pork sauce. The chewy, glisteningly lacey and clearly hand-shaved noodles are served over a bed of crisp iceberg and sauced with something best described as Chinese Bolognese — meaty with a hint of sweetness that’s set off by a drizzle of roasted chile oil. MORE FOOD AND Just around the corner is Nan Zhou DRINK COVERAGE Hand Drawn Noodle House (1022 Race AT C I T Y P A P E R . N E T / St.), another hand-drawn haunt. The menu M E A LT I C K E T. here is fairly similar, tacking on a lofty history of Nan Zhou noodles: “The Sun and Moon Inn, which was established in the early years of the Ching Dynasty, served only officials, gentry and wealthy merchants.” Apart from a history lesson, Nan Zhou’s menu also boasts cool noodles that aren’t really cool at all. They’re thin, hand-pulled noodles plucked warm from a boiling water bath served with a small bowl of shredded chicken and julienned carrots and celery dressed with a salty-savory peanut sauce. (caroline@citypaper.net)

gracetavern.com

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the agenda | a&e | feature | the naked city food classifieds

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To place your FREE ad (100 word limit) ³ email lovehate@citypaper.net ALONE FACING THE WORLD!

ANSWER ME... Hey bitch you are not that important...I know that you received my fucking email...you just make me sick....try answering someone’s fucking voicemail and or don’t call.

BIRTHDAY CARD (#9)

I’m truly sorry to all the people I hurt when I was using drugs. I can never give the things I took away back. I know I’ve suffered b/c of my own misjudgments and I have more suffering to come. I wake up and am thankful I made it through my past and that I have a bright future for once. My past haunts me though, and every time I smell warm vanilla sugar...I think of you...and I truly am sorry and wish I could have a friend like you again. I was so fucked up, I was so jealous of you, a normal person would have talked to you and just backed away...I actually thought I was doing you a favor. You were a great friend and I’m sorry I treated you like shit. I miss you...

night an I get 2 parking tickets. It’s 2 hour parking in South Philly now? Thanks for making it harder for me to come to Philly. I read about the traffic court corruption. The show parking wars shows the morons you have giving out tickets. They do their job with glee. Thanks for fleecing me Philly. This is why you’re a second rate city and always will be. Be welcoming to out-of towners, not discouraging. -JS

real creamy and tasty...now it just tasted like fucking water...I could of drank it with a fucking straw...then you had the nerve to ask me was I in a damn rush...by me being in a rush didn’t really make a big deal if I was or not because I was on my fucking time. I just wanted a quality soup that tasted like it did the fucking first time...good...I guess I will have to starve again at lunch...or bring my lunch in hopes that I can heat it up.

PRICK ASSHOLE

THE HOUSE OF HELL

Yo buddie...you piece of fucking trash...I saw you hit my car...you think that nobody saw what you fucking did...then my neighbor followed up and

They have to be hype she got promoted ass worker who thinks she run shit. I be she run in a street fight. the place is hell you get treated like a animal, that is not a cage. They got young and old bitches walking around talking about people like they need to talk, bye all ya’ll ugly or a mess so the hell down. I do read people and I know who the real and fake are. Too many fakes not enough reals. The house of hell act like it’s a rehab, too many people including staff need to get there shit together, before its too late cause ya’ll all are a pay check from being homeless so STFU and sit down, clowns.

Tomorrow is your birthday, Love, and what I want to do right now with you is pack for our trip. Sweet, isn’t it? Our First Trip, In 21 days: I am nervously waiting for you, with my bags, in a dark corner of the train station. There you are, alone, looking for me. I text you—go down to the train. I’ll find you. You do. I follow, go through every car, there you are in the last car. We kiss. We’re on our way. Two years out! Happy Birthday, Sweetheart! I love you.

UGLY ASS

FUCKED IT UP

You stupid ass bitch...I just don’t understand why you think that your so fucking hot and lovely...your nothing...you are just pathtetic to loose your friend over thinking that you are better than someone else. Your nothing and you lost the closest real person to you...and that was me...Karma is a bitch and it comes back around...remember that when you are alone in that jail cell from your friend ripping everyone off!

Your plaid sleeves and matching scarves are hilarious. It’s like you have turned into my mus, you’re out loud personality is literally worn on your sleeves and it makes it so easy. When we met it was easy, maybe too easy. Then we had to go and fuck it all up. Did either of us even think about it ending and what that would look like? Are we going to get over this gap in our friendship and make things right or just keep pretending that we don’t know each other?

UR THE BEEEEEST!

To those of you who are so #*%$^ annoying and don’t know how to live in the city, may I provide this primer. 1.) On the escalator: stand right, walk left. 2.) On the sidewalk: don’t weave and don’t take up the whole thing. 3.) On the train: Get up before your stop, gather your belongings and get the hell off. We are tired of waiting for you and our patience is shot. Why are you always in the aisle when I get on, after a gap in people getting off the train?

YOU STOLE FROM ME You stole from me 15 years ago and bragged to everyone on the forum that you would follow through with your theft of my character. You now made a TV show over my stolen character and you do not have the balls to tell the truth. You never went to kiwanis lecture with my character in your head. Before you met me you had writers block. That TV really belongs to me. I want my character back!

HEY BEEB

IN MY DREAMS Sometimes in my dreams, I am the old me. I woke up in bed next to an old lover...he was so hot, and it was hot sex, but afterward so dirty and lonely. Back when I was told “how to be” and I was so vulnerable and desperate I actually believed it.

YOUR AUNT IS A WEIRD NONSENSE I told you before that I didn’t want any bullshit regarding our relationship which I take really seriously...it doesn’t make any sense that I have to keep saying the same thing over and over again regarding what needs to be done at what time! You should already know by now that I am not to be fucked with at this particular time. I see the games with you never change...get it the fuck together....

PHILLY PARKING AUTHORITY Philly parking authority; I’m in South Philly one

told me that you didn’t even think anyone saw you but she did and she copied down your license plate number. How fucking dare you think that you were getting away with something. I know who you are and basically everything that I want to know is already said...so you can kiss my ass! Hope you have good insurance...

SOUP PLACE Hey sandwich store...yeah you know who you are... why the fuck did you serve that watered-down fucking soup...when I first tasted that soup it was

Your aunt is a fucking weirdo and she is obsessed with my child...tell that bitch to fall the fuck back and get her lonely ass a pet, a girlfriend or boyfriend. Something has to give so she will leave me alone. Also, tell the bitch I am not going to keep answering her fucking texts Her bald-headed ass is a fucking piece of fucking work! I am not going to let her run my life...tell that bitch to run her own fucking life! Cause I know who I am and how to run my life! ✚ ADS ALSO APPEAR AT CITYPAPER.NET/lovehate. City Paper has the right to re-publish “I Love You, I Hate You”™ ads at the publisher’s discretion. This includes re-purposing the ads for online publication, or for any

other ancillary publishing projects.

P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R | M A R C H 1 4 - M A R C H 2 0 , 2 0 1 3 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T |

I luv you...I wish I could do more to help the situation, but I can’t. I just want to know Ilysm and Imy always!! Nothing in life matters to me, but your happiness an peace of mind! You keep me going, everyday! Life Just sucks sometimes, but I think of you and it helps me stay focused on what needs to be done! Ily! Mom...

FUCKING ANNOYING

Sunday night I waved you and your dude across at 9th and (Dickinson, i think?) and made a split second of eye contact with you that got me all uncomfortable and morose. And a Lager always tastes better when you’re all morose. I do miss you sometimes (more lately, cuz you been hanging out in my dreams. mostly nice, but kinda weird and very late, yeah?...and I always wake up all sad). But we both know that never works, and that’s why you’re on that dude’s arm and not mine. Like I said a little while back, I hope you’re happy in this life. At least happier than before...

classifieds

It sucks to know that I have no real friends or even just friends for that matter. It sucks being single coming home from work to have no one there waiting for you. I don’t know it’s a lonely world here and it sucks! :(

the naked city | feature | a&e | the agenda | food

[ i love you, i hate you ]

food | the agenda | a&e | feature | the naked city classifieds

merchandise market BRAZILIAN FLOORING 3/4", beautiful, $2.75 sf (215) 365-5826 CABINETS KITCHEN SOLID WOOD Brand new soft close/dovetail drawers Crown Molding 25 Colors, Never Installed! Cost $5,300. Sell $1,590. 610-952-0033 Diabetic Test Strips Needed pay up to $25/box. Most brands. 610-453-2525 TELEMARKETERS: Need Leads? All you want, 1st (25) FREE - all locations. Reply, RPM - P. O. Box 28117, Philadelphia, PA 19131.

2013 Hot Tub/Spa. Brand New! 6 person w/lounger, color lights, 30 jets, stone cabinet. Cover. Never installed. Cost $7K. Ask $2,850. Will deliver. 610-952-0033.

33 & 45 Records Absolute Higher $

***215-200-0902***

33&45 RECORDS HIGHER $ Really Paid

**Bob610-532-9408***

Books -Trains -Magazines -Toys Dolls - Model Kits 610-639-0563

Coins, Currency, Gold, Toys,

Trains, Hummels, Sports Cards. Call the Local Higher Buyer, 7 Dys/Wk BD a Memory Foam Mattress/Bx spring Brand New Queen cost $1400, sell $299; King cost $1700 sell $399 610-952-0033

BED: Brand New Queen Pillowtop Set $175; 5pc Bedrm Set $345 215-355-3878

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Bed lthr Q$169 K$220 P-top matt set Q$175 K$275 exfurn.com 215-752-0911

Dr. Sonnheim, 856-981-3397

Coins, MACHINIST TOOLS, Militaria, Swords, Watches Jewelry 215-742-6438 I Buy Anything Old...Except People! antiques-collectables, Al 215-698-0787 I Buy Guitars & All Musical Instruments-609-457-5501 Rob

everything pets pets/livestock Please be aware Possession of exotic/wild animals may be restricted in some areas.

Ragdoll Kittens: Beautiful, guaranteed, home raised. Call 610-731-0907

English Bulldog Pups - 8wks, vet pedigree, reg, dewormed. Call 215-696-5832 German Shepherd Dog Puppies starting at $350, AKC, Health Guarantee Visit www.LancasterPuppies.com

Golden Retriever Pups - AKC, M & F , S/W, vet checked. Call 267-980-8027

JUNK CARS WANTED We buy Junk Cars. Up to $300 215-888-8662 Lionel/Am Flyer/Trains/Hot Whls $$$$ Aurora TJet/AFX Toy Car 215-396-1903

apartment marketplace 1012 S. 52nd St. 1 BR Apt. $560/mo newly renovated 267-228-7359 1100 S 58th St. 1BR Apt heat/hw incl., lic #362013 215-525-5800 53rd & Baltimore Ave. 2BR/1BA $600 2nd flr. Call 215-476-5050 5854 FLORENCE 2BR $750+utils newly renovated: 117 S. 60th St 1BR, $550+utils. Call 215-432-3144

1x Hirst 3br Newly renov, Nr El. 484-358-0761 40xx Haverford Ave. 2BR/1BA $725 Large unit, hdwd flrs. Call 215-409-8383 5501 Baltimore Ave. 2BR $650+sec. Lrg, wood flr, close to all, 215-474-3536 58xx Sansom 4BR/1BA Sec. 8 ok, newly renov. C/A, D/W, W/D, W/W. Call 215-668-9954 60xx Cedarhurst St. 1br $600+utils. Clean, securities dep. Call 215-880-0612 6xx N. 32nd St. 2BR/1BA $700 3rd floor. Call 215-438-0157 Parkside Area 1br- 4br $800+ Apts and Homes. w/w, h/w, w/d, Section 8 OK. Call 267-324-3197 W. Phila 2, 3 & 4BR apts. Avail Now Move in Special! 215-386-4791 or 4792

5006 Spruce St. 2BR $695 3rd floor. Call 267-601-1937

Labrador Ret. Ready now. AKC black OFA good chmp ped $700 215-622-0569 Bernese Mtn Pups - AKC, 2f, 6m, fam raised, ready now, $1,075. 717-653-2612 Boston Terrier Pups - ACA, beautiful, S&W, $595. 610-286-9076. CANE CORSO PUPS - m & f, blue & fawn, regis., vet checked. Call 267-882-3021 CAVAILER KING CHARLES PUPPIES For sale, health guaranteed, AKC/ACA registered, shots, wormed, born Dec 4th 2012, make offer. Call 717-614-9484 COCKER SPANIEL PUPS - Real cute. Call 267-581-5870. DOBERMAN PUPS - Ears cropped, rare colors, $1,550 and up. 856-491-7929 English Bulldog puppies starting at $1,100. Visit NationalBulldogs.com.

Pekingese 4M, 1F 8wks $395-495. 1M 20 wks $295 vet checked. 215-579-1922 Portuguese Water Ready for Spring $2000. (570)639-2733 Yorkie Puppies - A KC reg. vet checked home raised. Call 215-490-2243

GENEROUS REWARD!

LOST DOG - I still havenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t found my black and white, male Shih tzu. Lost several months ago near 71st & City Line. I miss him terribly! Call Anne 215-477-7813

Temple U Campus - Studio $550 & up. Utilities included, Call John at 215-236-1612 or 302-345-6334

50xx 10th St. 2BR $650/mo. renov, beaut., 3 mos req., utils not included. Serious calls 267-984-8522

56xx N. 12th St. 1BR $600 ground flr, near transp, available May 1st. Call 404-797-1082 quickjc@auburn.edu

5853 N. Camac 1BR $660 + utils 267-271-6601 or 215-416-2757 60XX Warnock 1 BR $595+ nr Fernrock Train Station,215-276-8534 Olney 2BR $450 Furn. bsmt apt. utils. incl. 215-329-0138

1 BR & 2 BR Apts $735-$835 spacious, great loc., upgraded, heat incl, PHA vouchers accepted 215-966-9371

4xx W. Penn St. 1br $625+utils Renov., $1875 move-in. 215-322-2375 5201 Wayne Ave. Studio & 1BR On site Lndry 215.525.5800 Lic# 311890 5211 Greene St. 1br $650+utils Great location. Call 610-287-9857 5214 Wayne Ave. Lg Eff/1BA $495 Well lit 2nd flr. eat-in Kit, steps to 53 bus 215-913- 2789

LAB PUPS READY NOW MUST COME SEE!!! 100% GAUR. 215-768-4344. LAB PUPS - Yellow & black, grandfather, BOB, Westminister. Call 570-589-1465

apartment marketplace

Apartment Homes $625-$875 www.perutoproperties.com 215.740.4900 Wynnewood RM 1.5BR $650 3rd flr, 2 mo sec, credit chk (215)871-0512

607 E. Church Ln. 2BR nr LaSalle Univ 215.744.9077 lic# 494336 Green & Seymour Effic. $500/mo All utils inc., 1K to move in 215-765-5578 High & Belfield 1BR/1BA $545 + cooking gas & elec. 215-276-8661

8306 Pickering Ave. 2BR $800+ 1st flr., Bad Credit Ok. 215-317-3785

1641 W Lehigh Ave. 1BR all util incl new renov 215.525.5800 lic#374062 19xx N 32nd St. 2br $725+elec. brand new, c/a, $2175 req., 215-322-2375 22nd & ALLEGHENY 2 BR $650/mo. newly renovated, must see! 610.718.6542

6801 N. 17th St. sm. 1BR $550-$600 $800 Move in Special, 215-317-3785

1,2, 3, 4 Bedroom FURNISHED APTS LAUNDRY-PARKING 215-223-7000

1533 Orthodox studio newly renov, lic # 309722, 215-525-5800

67xx Woolston Ave 1br $600+utils 2nd flr, $1200 move in, 215-758-7129

47xx Leiper 3BR/1BA $1050 For more info. call 267-591-5296 4840 Oxford Ave Studio, 1Br, 2Br Ldry, 24/7 cam lic#214340 215.525.5800

51xx N. Broad St. 1BR/1BA apt. Room, fridge, 27" TV. Call 267-496-6448 Broad and Hunting Park $110/wk Nr trans. 215-206-3832/610-348-0121

43xx Teesdale 1BR/1BA $650+utils Very nice, 1st floor. Call 215-317-2565 4647 Adams Ave Lg. 1Br Newly renov. 215-525-5800 lic#433314

Broad & Hunting Park & all other areas $75-$125/wk. Newly renov., great transp., SSI OK. Call 267-588-5517 Broad/Olney furn refrig micro priv ent $115/$145wk sec $200 215.572.8833 Caster and Winghocken, 54th and Lancaster, 1BR apt 60th and Kingsessing Ave. Share Kitch. & Bath, $350 & up, no security deposit, SSI OK. Call 267-888-1754 Erie Ave. Nice, furn, fridge, micro, quiet, $90wk, $270 sec dep (609) 703-4266 Germantown Area: NICE, Cozy Rooms Private entry, no drugs (267)988-5890 Germantown, furn., good loc. clean, quiet reasonable, 12-8p. 215-849-8994 K & A, furnished room, $90 per week Please Call (610) 348-1691. Kensington & Allegheny furn bed frig priv kit $100wk $225mv-in 215-416-6538 Mt Airy, 61xx Chew Ave, Univ City 41xx Popular $85-$125/wk. 215-242-9124 MT. AIRY (Best Area) $135/wk SSI ok. Cable. Call 215-730-8956 NE APT TO SHARE, $380/mo incl ALL utils 267-538-2921, 484-363-0236

4740 Frankford Ave. Studio $475+elec. Call 215-669-7166 or 267-970-2269 805 Red Lion Rd 1BR/1BA $875 1st flr, water incl, Call 267-738-3329 Delaware Landing Condo 1BR $950 + utils. With all amenities, den. Avail. April 1st. 1st, last, sec. Call 215-355-5025

Upper Darby - 440 Long Ln. 2BR/1BA $750 Sec. 8 welcome Chester - 233 Ivy St. 2BR/1BA house $550 Sec. 8 welcome. 610-772-3220

56xx Morton St: Quiet victorian row house, newly renov., near trans., $125/wk, $300 sec., 1st week rent req. Call Mrs. Mac at 267-351-5547 DREXEL HILL - Cozy furn. room includes bed, TV, utils. $450/mo., $225 Sec. Dep. Call John at 610-259-7039 East Oaklane furn room, share house $450/inc util, sec req 215.549.0634

14xx Lenox Ave Large 1BR $400/mo Available for rent in 3 bedroom home in North Phila. near Temple University. Shared housing includes utilities and full house privileges. Tenants must provide verification of income. Call Ms. Marshall at 215-226-0321. 16xx Orthodox St., share bath, $125/wk, deposit required. Call 215-743-9950 18th & Ontario priv ent new paint use of kit ww $120wk $290mv in 267-997-5212 2435 W. Jefferson St. Rooms: $375/mo. Move in fee: $565. Call 215-913-8659 25xx Seltzer - Rooms for rent, SSI ok, utils. incl. Call 267-702-7927 3130 N. 22nd St. Large rm, fridge, microwave, kitch., utisl incl. 267-235-1166 33rd & Ridge Ave. $100-125/week. Large renovated furn. rms near Fairmount Park & bus depot. 215-317-2708 4508 N. Broad St. Rooms: $375/mo. Move in fee: $565. Call 215-913-8659

NICETOWN Large clean room with cable. $100/week. Call 215-225-5680 N. Phila - 19th & Allegheny $ 8 0 $100/wk. Share BA, $300 move-in. Laun., kitch., background check. 215-266-8324 N. Phila - 21st & Allegheny $105/wk. Pvt. BA & ent, clean, $300 move-in. Background chck. Call 215-266-8324 N. Phila - $75 & up, SSI & Vets+ok, drug free, Avl Immed. 215-763-5565 N. Phila - Room for rent 30xx N. 24th St. $300/mo. Clean. SSI. 267-357-5454 Olney and N Phila. $75 and up furn, kit privs, coin-op, crpt. 516-527-0186 Olney Rooms - $120/wk. utils incl. Very clean. Call or text 267-235-9853 S. 59th St. near El, furn. room, a/c, fridge, $90/wk., $90 sec. 215-472-8119 SOUTHWEST Newly renov, nice ly furnished , A/C, W/D, cable, clean, safe & secure. Call (267) 253-7764 S, SW, W Philadelphia $350-$500 incl. cable & utils. 215-806-7078 SW Philadelphia $250 to move in. Share kitchen & bath. 267-251-2749 SW Philly $105/wk Clean, kit. 610348-0121 or 21-863-0393

homes for rent

Acura TL 2004 $10,900 69K, excel. cond. May 215-741-7124 Cadillac CTS 2009 $19,750 Excellent condition, private owner, 41,000 mi, loaded, blue 813-841-4079 Dodge Challenger SRT 2008 $17,000 21k miles, loaded, extras (570)435-1684 or email: mark.shadler55@gmail.com Ford Escape 2003 $7,995 60,000 miles, red, exc. condition, no accidents, one owner, 610-519-3854 Ford Fusion 2009 $14,000 Sport app pkg, 1 owner, 856-589-4584 HONDA CIVIC Si 2005 $6900 Black, stick, a/c, insp. 215-276-4569 JAGUAR XKR 2004 $25,000 Super Charged Conver., 29,760 orig. miles, imm. cond., 1 own. no body damage, $25,000. Call 609-652-3687

Junk Cars & Trucks Wanted, 220 Locust St. Spacious studio. $1100 includes all utils and cable TV. Call 267-767-4088

1411 S. 21st St. 3BR/2BA $1,150 Sec 8 ok. Call 215-545-4894 15XX OPAL lg 3BR hse, new paint, refrig, yd, bsmt $795+ 267-645-9421 23XX F ederal L g 4 BR 2B, F ridge bsmt yrd $975+ 267-645-9421

Elmwood area 3br modern, sec. 8 ok, Call 856-693-7222

2BR & 3BR Houses Sec. 8 Welcome

Beautifully renovated Call (267)981-2718

73xx Brookhaven Rd nr City Ln Av fully remod, 3BR, gar, $975+ 856-535-0873

24xx W Toronto 3br new paint, yd refrig, bsmt $725+ 267-645-9421 38xx Wyalusing Ave. 3BR/1BA $600 Sec. 8 ok. 1mo. rent & sec. 215-879-5562

Ford 2000 Handicapped Equipped Luxury Hightop Conv Van (new body style) a/c, full pwr, few orig mi, mag whls, like new quick sale. $7950. 215.928.9632

18xx E. Cornwall 2BR/1BA $675+utils. Renov., lg yard. Rick 215-450-0133 19xx E. Alleghney. 3BR/1BA $675/mo. Home avail now. Call 215-601-5182 32xx D St. 2BR/1BA $625+utils 3 mo. deposit. Call 215-514-0653 33xx Malta St 2BR/1BA $625+utils newly remodeled. Call 215-327-2292 4654 James 2BR/1BA $650 Twin, newly refurbished, quiet street, nice backyard, pets ok. Available May 1st. Call (215) 624-7100 Front/ Wyoming 2BR $700 Lv & dn rm. No pets. 215-289-2973 PORT RICHMOND 2BR $800 $1,000 dep. sec.8 ok. 215-205-3185

Adoption: Loving, Active Couple Hoping to Adopt. Home full of love, laughter & security for your baby! Help w/expenses. Call Christy & Dan 1-877919-7999. ADOPTION

Are you pregnant? A happily married couple seeks to adopt. Will be hands on Mom and devoted dad. Financial security. Expenses paid. Christa & Paul. 1-800-936-1631.

Public Notices AIRLINE CAREERS

Become an Aviation Maintenance Tech. FAA approved training. Financial aid if qualified-Housing available. Job placement assistance. CALL Aviation Institute of Maintenance 888-834-9715.

A1 PRICES FOR JUNK CARS FREE TOW ING , Call (215) 726-9053

low cost cars & trucks Buick Century 1994 $1,450 all pwrs, 122k, runs excel. 215-620-9383 Cadillac DeVille DHS 2004 $4250 Gold, navigation, chrome. 267-592-0448 Chrysler Town & Country Van 1999 $3300 new insp., clean. Call 610-667-4829 Ford Crown Vic LX 1994 $1650 all pwrs, 114k, runs new. 215-620-9383

SAWMILLS from only $3997MAKE MONEY & SAVE MONEY with your own bandmillCut lumber any dimension. In stock ready to ship. FREE info & DVD: www.NorwoodSawmills.com/300N 1-800-5781363 Ext. 300N.

Automotive Marketplace CASH FOR CARS

ANY CAR/Truck. Running or Not! Top Dollar Paid. We Come to You! Call for Instant Offer. 1-888-420-3808 www. cash4car.com

Business Services ATTEND COLLEGE ONLINE

Ford Explorer XLT 2005 $4,950 Loaded, 100K. Call 215-237-010 9 Lexus ES 300 1998 $3,495 black, 4 door, auto. Call 610-213-2758

from Home. *Medical *Busi-

Show Us Your Philly. Submit snapshots of the City of Brotherly Love, however you see it, at:

citypaper.net/ photostream

Located around Philly area, or Surrounding Cities? Having Computer Problems? Call ItzFixed Computer Repair Today For Free Diagnostics (Available 24 hrs) Free Diagnostics Phone: 267-815-2776 $50 flat fee for all repairs (plus the price for parts and shipping if needed) $100 flat fee for all Custom Computer Builds (plus the price for parts and shipping) Drop off and Pick-up yourself, or Fee (Depending on distance) for Pick-up and Delivery. Also make HouseCalls Desktop hardware and software installations Desktop hardware, software, OS repair Desktop upgrades / tune-ups Computer Tune-Ups Custom Computer Builds Laptop Software, OS Repair Anti-Virus Installation Virus, Malware, Spyware, Adware, Trojan Removal Windows XP and Windows 7 Installations / Reinstallations Windows Data Recovery Follow on Twitter: https://twitter. com/ItzFixed REGULAR MASSAGE THERAPY

Special Price! $45/hr. Call (215)-873-4835. 1218 Chestnut St.

Business Opportunity REACH 5 MILLION

hip, forward-thinking consumers across the U.S. When you advertise in alternative newspapers, you become part of the local scene and gain access to an audience you won’t reach anywhere else. http://www. altweeklies.com/ads

For Sale ENGLISH BULLDOG

Pups for adoption,1boy,1gi rl,11wks,shot current,home raised, richardsmith605@

HEALTH

IF YOU USED THE MIRENA IUD between 2001-present and suffered perforation or embedment in the uterus requiring surgical removal, or had a child born with a birth defects you may be entitled to compensation. Call Johnson Law and speak with female staff members 1-800-5355727.

jobs

Help Wanted – General HELP WANTED

Awesome Job! Hiring 10 sharp girls and guys. Must be 18+ to apply. Lodging and transportation provided. 2 week paid training. For more information call 866-430-2103. HELP WANTED

Heavy Equipment Operator Career! 3 Weeks Hands on Training School. Bulldozers, Backhoes, Excavators. National Certifications. Lifetime Job Placement Assistance. VA Benefits Eligible! 1-866362-6497. HELP WANTED DRIVER

AVERITT OFFERS CDL-A DRIVERS a Strong, Stable, Profitable Career. Experienced Drivers and Recent Grads-Excellent Benefits, Weekly Hometime. Paid training. 888-362-8608 AverittCareers.com Equal Opportunity Employer. HELP WANTED DRIVER

Company Driver: Solo Regional and OTR Lanes. Competitive Pay. Great Hometime. CDL-A with 1 year OTR and Hazmat End. Sign-On Bonus. $2000 Solo and $5000 Teams. 888-75-3217 or apply online and www.driveenctrans.com

HELP WANTED DRIVER

DRIVE THE BEST. DRIVE MAVERICK! MAVERICK IS NOW HIRING IN YOUR AREA!! OTR & regional runs, some dedicated available. Exp drivers or students with ClassA-CDL for training. Great pay & home in several divisions including flatbed, glass and reefer. Must be 21yrs old & hold Class A-CDL 1-800289-1100. www.drivemaverick.com HELP WANTED DRIVER

Driver: Qualify for any portion of $.03/mile quarterly bonus: $.01 Safety, $.01 Production, $.0 MPG. Two raises in 1st year. 3-months OTR experience. 800-414-9569 www. driveknight.com

Cold Calls; Commissions Paid Daily; Lifetime Renewals; Complete Training; Health & Dental Insurance; Life License Required. Call: 1-888-713-6020. $$$HELP WANTED$$$

Extra Income! Assembling CD cases from Home! No Experience Necessary! Call our Live Operator Now! 1-800-4057619 Ext. 2450 http://www. easywork-greatpay.com

real estate

Resort/ Vacation Property for Sale VACATION RENTALS

HELP WANTED DRIVER

Dr ivers-CDL-A $5,000 SIGN-ON BONUS For exp’s solo OTR drivers and O’O’s. Tuition reimbursement also available! New Student Pay & Lease Program. USA TRUCK 877-521-5775 www.GoUSATRUCK.com

OCEAN CITY, MARYLAND. Best selection of affordable rentals. Full/partial weeks. Call for FREE brochure. Open daily. Holiday Real Estate. 1-800638-2102 Online reservations: www.holidayoc.com.

HELP WANTED DRIVER

Drivers: CDL-A TEAM WITH TOTAL. $.50/Mile for Hazmat Teams. Solo Drivers Also Needed! 1 yr. exp. req’d 800942-2104 Ext. 7308 or 7307 www.TotalMS.com HELP WANTED DRIVER

rentals

Exp. Reefer Drivers:GREAT PAY/Freight lanes from Presque Isle, ME, Boston-Lehigh, PA.. 800277-0212 or primeinc.com

Apartments for Rent

HELP WANTED DRIVER

2nd floor duplex. 2156516524 Available now

GORDON TRUCKING, INC.. C D L - A D r i ve r s N e e d e d ! ...$3,000 SIGN ON BONUS... Refrigerated Fleet & Great Miles! Pay Incentive Benefits! Recruiters available 7 days/wk! TeamGTI.com EOE 866-554-7856. HELP WANTED/SALES

EARN $500 A DAY: Insurance Agents Needed; Leads, No

2BR1BA $795 NE PHILLY 19114

Roommates ALL AREAS-ROOMATES. COM

Browse hundreds of online listings with photos and maps. Find your roommate with a click of the mouse! Visit: http:// www.Roommates.com.

lulueightball By Emily Flake

MT. LAUREL 3BR/2.5BA TH $1700 In Stonegate Dev. Newly renov., frsh paint, new appls., no pets/smoking, avail. April 15th. Call Days 856-2340064 or Evenings 215-579-8868 Willingboro NJ P Sect. 2 4br, 2ba homes $1675 & $1625. Sec 8 ok 609-502-7104

ADOPTION

SAWMILLS

Mercedes Benz E320 2000 $4,895 lthr, sunroof, gorgeous. 610-524-8835 9xx E. Allens Ln. 3BR $1200+utils Central Air, twin. Call 215-248-1084

Adoptions

ITZ FIXED COMPUTER REPAIR

Health Services

CRST offers the Best Lease Purchase Program! SIGN ON BONUS. No Down Payment or Credit Check. Great Pay. Class-A CDL required. Owner Operators Welcome! Call: 866-403-7044.

P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R | M A R C H 1 4 - M A R C H 2 0 , 2 0 1 3 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T |

2x Manheim St. 5br/1.5 ba $1300 hrdwd flrs, decorative molding, new kitchen, close to trans. 215-495-7191 2xx W. Queen Lane 6BR/3BA $1350+ new kit/ba Application req 215-514-7143

$400, Call 856-365-2021

market place

HELP WANTED DRIVER

classifieds

Temple off campus area. Nice, clean, large furnished rooms. $400/mo. Call Norman at 267-240-6805. Temple U Area, Clean, semi furn rooms $90-$120/wk. 2 wk. dep. 215-869-1203 West Phila - Room for rent, $125 /wk. Call 267-269-4490 ask for Hakim WEST/SOUTHWEST Newly renov, nicely furnished, A/C, W/D, cable, clean, safe & secure. Call (267) 253-7764 W. Phila Furn Rms, SS & Vets welcome, No drugs, $100/wk & up 267-586-6502

automotive

yahoo.com or call 215-5498511

the naked city | feature | a&e | the agenda | food

apartment marketplace

n e s s * C r i m i n a l Ju s t i c e, Hospitality. Job placement assistance. Computer available. Financial Aid if qualified. SCHEV authorized. Call 800-481-9472. HYPERLINK http.// www.CenturaOnline. com. www/CenturaOnline. com

billboard [ C I T Y PA P E R ]

MARCH 14 - MARCH 20, 2013 CALL 215-735-8444

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Village Belle Restaurant and bar

As the season changes, stop in to see our spring selections and menu. Let us handle your holiday needs as we celebrate with an Easter buffet thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s sure to please 757 South Front St Corner of Fitzwater Street in Queens Village 215-551-2200 www.thevillagebelle.com

STUDY GUITAR W/ THE BEST David Joel Guitar Studio

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LE BUS Sandwiches & MOSHEâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S Vegan Burritos, Wraps and Salads Now Available at the EL BAR! Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s true! Theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re here and delivered daily! 1356 North Front Street 215-634-6430

SEMEN DONORS NEEDED

Healthy, College Educated Men 18-39 ~ $150/Sample WWW.123DONATE.COM

$2 OFF ALL DRAFTS $3 WELL DRINKS $5 HAPPY HOUR MENU Only at the Abbaye 637 N. 3rd Street (215) 627-6711 www.THEABBAYE.net

12 Years of experience. Offering personal fitness training, nutrition counseling, and flexibility training. Specialize in osteoporosis, injuries, special needs. In home or at 12th Street Gym. MCKFitness@yahoo.com

Fashion Fetish?

200+ steel boned corsets in stock size S-8XL Rubber-Leather-KiltsMore by 26 designers. PASSIONAL Boutique 704 S. 5th St. Noon-10PM, 7 days a week www.passionalboutique.com

TOP PRICES PAID. No collection too small or large! We buy everything! Call Jon at 215-805-8001 or e-mail dingo15@hotmail.com

TEQUILA SUNRISE RECORDS

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LAS VEGAS LOUNGE

Serving 20 oz Drafts, NOT 16. SIZE DOES MATTER. 704 Chestnut Street 215-592-9533 www.LasVegasLounge.com

VOTE FOR Bizarre Bazaar! For CPâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s â&#x20AC;&#x153;Readerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Choiceâ&#x20AC;? AWARDS

HAPPY HOUR AT THE ABBAYE

Building Blocks to Total Fitness

I BUY RECORDS, CDâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S, DVDâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S

AS`dW\U c^ ^S`TSQbW]\ T]` & gSO`a

FREE PIZZA! $2 BEER OF THE WEEK! $2 WELL DRINKS! ITâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S AMAZING! PASSYUNK AVE (7th & CARPENTER) 215-465-5505 myspace.com/thedivebar

The Craziest Cool-lectibles + Odd Art, Unique Antiques, Curios, Odditties, Freaks! BIZARRE BAZAAR 720 SOUTH 5TH ST PHILLYVILLE

All Styles All Levels. Former Berklee faculty member. Masters Degree with 27 yrs. teaching experience. 215.831.8640 www.myphillyguitarlessons.com

525 West Girard Ave VINYL AND CD SPECIALISTS CLASSIC & MODERN GLOBAL SOUNDS HOUSE TECHNO DUBSTEP DUB DISCO FUNK SOUL JAZZ DIY PUNK LSD ROCK AND LIGHT HARMONY ROOTS BLUES NOISE AVANT AND MORE TUESDAY-SUNDAY 12-6PM 01-215-965-9616

HAPPY HOUR A THE DIVE

Vendor Space Available

WHATâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S ON TAP AT THE WATKINS DRINKERY?

RIVER HORSE DOUBLE WIT TOMMY KNOCKER OTTER CREEK MIDDLEBURRY ALE, BROOKLYN WINTER ALE ROGUE IMPERIAL RED ALL THIS AND MORE AT THE WATKINS DRINKERY. 10TH & WATKINS STREETS IN SOUTH PHILLY. 215-339-0175

Consignment Marketplace 4001 Main St., Manayunk 215-298-9534 Good traffic - Good parking Low rent Great opportunity for small creative retailers

MAKE THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE GET A TATTOO!

PHILADELPHIA EDDIES 621 South 4th St. Tattoo Haven (MIDDLE of Tattoo Row) 215-922-7384 open 7 DAYS

ACHTUNG BABY, BGIERSTUBE B ERMAN IERGARTEN BURGERS, BRATS AND 200+ BEERS FO SHIZZLE MA SCHNITZEL! 206 Market St. 215-922-2958

A HOUSE OF LAGERS

Mon-Wed 5pm-2am, Thurs-Sun 11am-2am

Reser vations at www.mybierstube.com