Philadelphia City Paper, March 21st, 2013

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EXPERIENCE THE POWER OF FOX® —see page 9

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We made this

Publisher Nancy Stuski Editor in Chief Theresa Everline Senior Editor Patrick Rapa News Editor Samantha Melamed Arts Editor/Copy Chief Emily Guendelsberger Digital Media Editor/Movies Editor Paulina Reso Food Editor/Listings Editor Caroline Russock Staff Writers Ryan Briggs, Daniel Denvir Assistant Copy Editor Carolyn Wyman Contributors Sam Adams, A.D. Amorosi, Rodney Anonymous, Mary Armstrong, Meg Augustin, Justin Bauer, Shaun Brady, Peter Burwasser, Ryan Carey, Mark Cofta, Jesse Delaney, Alison Dell, Adam Erace, M.J. Fine, David Anthony Fox, Michael Gold, K. Ross Hoffman, Brian Howard, Deni Kasrel, Gary M. Kramer, Drew Lazor, Gair “Dev 79” Marking, Robert McCormick, Andrew Milner, Annette Monnier, Michael Pelusi, Elliott Sharp, Tom Tomorrow, John Vettese, Julia West, Brian Wilensky Editorial Interns Naveed Ahsan, Dotun Akintoye, Jessica Bergman, Catherine Haas, Zoë Kirsch, Kelly Lawler, Joseph Poteracki, Sameer Rao, Marc Snitzer, Carly Szkaradnik Associate Web Editor/Staff Photographer Neal Santos Production Director Michael Polimeno Editorial Art Director Reseca Peskin Senior Designer Evan M. Lopez Editorial Designers Brenna Adams, Matt Egger Contributing Photographers Jessica Kourkounis, Mark Stehle Contributing Illustrators Ryan Casey, Don Haring Jr., Joel Kimmel, Cameron K. Lewis, Thomas Pitilli, Matthew Smith Human Resources Ron Scully (ext. 210) Circulation Director Mark Burkert (ext. 239) Senior Account Managers Colette Alexandre (ext. 250), Nick Cavanaugh (ext. 260), Sharon MacWilliams (ext. 262), Stephan Sitzai (ext. 258) Account Managers Sara Carano (ext. 228), Jonathan Morein (ext. 249), Donald Snyder (ext. 213) Marketing/Online Coordinator Jennifer Francano (ext. 252) Office Coordinator/Adult Advertising Sales Alexis Pierce (ext. 234) Founder & Editor Emeritus Bruce Schimmel

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contents For the record

The Naked City .........................................................................6 Arts & Entertainment.........................................................34 Movies.........................................................................................42 The Agenda ..............................................................................45 Food & Drink ...........................................................................53 DESIGN BY RESECA PESKIN

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naked

the thebellcurve CP’s Quality-o-Life-o-Meter

[ -6 ]

According to a new study, Philadelphia is the worst of the country’s 10 biggest cities when it comes to deep poverty. That new study: “Being Rich in Philly: Why the poor can’t get their act together and why the rich are afraid to talk about it.”

[ -1 ]

Municipal union members drown out Mayor Nutter’s budget address to City Council by jeering and blowing whistles. Which totally changes people’s minds about important issues and does not in any way come off like the actions of a mob full of bullies and crybabies.

[0]

Nutter later delivers his budget address downstairs in City Hall to members of his own staff and reporters. Then everybody got into their jammies and just talked about life, you know? And Finance Director Rob Dubow was, like, “I totally Frenched this chick in the park, you guys,” and mayoral spokesman Mark McDonald was all, “Nuhuh, you total liar.” Then the, like, World War III of pillow fights broke out.

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[0]

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city

The FBI says some of the $500 million worth of art stolen from a Boston museum in 1990 was likely sold in Philly. And then defaced by one of our fine Sharpie artists.

[ + 1 ] The Archdiocese of Philadelphia overturns

its ban on girls playing football. But no tackling till you’re married.

[ -1 ]

Mayor Nutter calls Philadelphia magazine’s “Being White in Philly” cover story a “pathetic, uninformed essay,” and asks the city’s Human Relations Commission to consider rebuking the author of the article and the magazine. Bell Curve has no comment due to our strict “Don’t Side With PhillyMag On Anything” policy.

[0]

South Jersey jockey Tony Black retires after winning his 5,200th race. “I finally figured out how to get down from the horse,” he explains. “I’m so teeny-tiny.”

[0]

SEPTA announces it will raise fares in July to $2.25 for a bus or subway ride.

Says spokesperson,“If you do not like it, you are welcome to take your business elsewhere.”

This week’s total: -7 | Last week’s total: -17

GOOD COUNSEL: Michele Cohen meets with a client at the Philadelphia Landlord/ Tenant Legal Help Center, which is housed within Municipal Court.

NEAL SANTOS

[ courts ]

LEASE RESISTANCE A day in court is no guarantee of justice for Philadelphians facing eviction.

By Samantha Melamed

I

n a crowded room off of Philadelphia’s Landlord-Tenant Court, a branch of Municipal Court tucked inconspicuously into the sixth floor of an office tower on Chestnut Street, Monica Green was waiting. She wasn’t sure for whom or what. All Green — a middleaged African-American woman from West Philly who didn’t want to give her real name — knew was that she didn’t want to be evicted.

Green had fallen behind on her rent after a fire temporarily shuttered her workplace. But by Monday, she said, she was paid up through February. All she owed was $625 for March. “I thought you had to be behind a certain amount before they take you to court,” she said. “I’m just one month behind. I’m trying to catch up.”

But Green had brought nothing with her: No receipts, no copy of her lease — and no lawyer to argue her side of the case. So, when an attorney summoned her into negotiations, she didn’t have much leverage. The lawyer offered her a settlement: Pay $1,551, including $450 in lawyer’s fees, and remit the next two months’ rent early — and, if any payment is even a day late, accept eviction. Green signed.

If Green had stopped by the Philadelphia Landlord/Tenant Legal Help Center — a pilot program administered that just wrapped up its first year of operations — the center’s lone staffer, lawyer Michele Cohen, might have advised a different course. For one thing, her

landlord’s Housing Inspection License, legally required to collect rent, was expired. As such, Green owed no rent at all.

This situation — an unrepresented tenant going up against a lawyered-up landlord and walking away with a raw deal — is typical.

That’s why the Philly Bar Association and legal service providers set up the Help Center, administered by the SeniorLAW Center and housed in the court’s offices. The program has already helped more than a thousand families. But Cohen says it’s only a “stop-gap” measure, a “first step on a long road to getting full representation.”

Fifty years ago this week, the Supreme Court decision Gideon v.

Wainwright affirmed poor criminal defendants’ right to legal counsel. Now, lawyers like Cohen are working on behalf of a so-called Civil Gideon movement, based on the notion that people should have the right to representation in the most important civil cases, too.

Pilot efforts like the Help Center, among the first of its kind in the nation, are springing up alongside traditional legal-aid organizations to fill in some gaps. But turning those into fully funded, sustainable programs remains an extraordinary challenge.

“Most Americans think there is a right to counsel on the civil, noncriminal side,” says Catherine Carr, executive director of Community Legal Services (CLS). But they would be wrong.

“There’s really been a push to make this a constitutional or a statutory right to counsel, not for every case, but in the most important cases: losing your shelter, your income, your basic safety, your kids.”

She had no lawyer to argue on her behalf.

>>> continued on page 10

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[ a million stories ]

✚ TAXING CIRCUMSTANCES Councilwoman Blondell Reynolds Brown has had a rough few years. In the midst of a divorce, she was fined by the Ethics Board

and tied to a scandal that resulted in her former campaign manager pleading guilty to wire fraud. Reynolds Brown has also stated that she has had financial troubles. It would seem that those problems have spilled over to her former home at 601 N. 33rd St. It is now a rental property that she previously claimed as a source of income on financial-disclosure forms — and that is tax delinquent.

Her husband, Howard Brown, technically owns the row house in the city’s Mantua section, but Reynolds Brown’s name appears on the current rental license. The property is in arrears to the tune of $4,223 and the city has placed two liens on the home for nonpayment. Reynolds Brown says she purchased that property “shortly after college” as part of a first-time-homebuyer program operated by the Philadelphia Housing Development Corp. in 1980.

During her first campaign for an at-large City Council seat in 1999, she transferred the property to her husband’s name. Reynolds Brown declined to say why she transferred ownership during the heat of a political campaign, calling it “a private decision.”

She denied knowledge of the debt, saying she was first notified about the back taxes, which stretch back to 2011, when City Paper called for comment. Reynolds Brown claims she hasn’t received documents on the status of this property “because they don’t come to my marital residence, where I currently live.” However, the Office of Property Assessment’s listed mailing address for the owner of 601 N. 33rd St. is that “marital residence,” in Wynnefield.

Reynolds Brown could not say how she and her husband failed to notice liens being placed on the property. However, the

councilwoman did say that she ultimately wanted the property back. “It’s no secret that I’m in the middle of a divorce, and at the end of that settlement it is my expectation that this property will return to my name,” said Reynolds Brown.

Howard Brown, an employee of the Redevelopment Authority, said he thought his taxes “were included in the mortgage” and expressed surprise about the liens. He could not say why payments had ceased in 2011, but vowed to set up a payment plan. He asserted neither his lender nor the city ever sent him any paperwork about his growing debt. “I don’t know where to place the blame. I don’t know if it was the mortgage company that should have said something or the Department of Revenue … but I’ve never known —Ryan Briggs [Revenue] to be real quick about stuff like that.”

✚ HITTING HOME City Council is scrambling to mitigate the impact of the Actual Value Initiative, a citywide reassessment of property values that will dramatically shift tax bills for many property owners — including the council members themselves. Assuming that Mayor Nutter’s proposal of a 1.32-percent tax rate with a $15,000 homestead exemption passes, Council could serve as a microcosm for AVI’s effect on the entire city: Seven council members would see steep tax hikes, seven would walk away with noticeable savings, and two would see little change. As for Bill Green, Council’s lone renter, he’s already been informed his rent will go up.

Marian Tasco and Cindy Bass (who both live in the Northwest) would each save $1,400, as would Torresdale resident Bobby Henon.

Henon’s bill would decline by roughly 50 percent, the largest relative decrease on Council. But the real winner may be Mark >>> continued on page 8

photostream ³ submit to photostream@citypaper.net

JOHN MCAULEY

By Daniel Denvir

GRAFT PICKS ³ PHILLY’S RECENT discussion of race

— sparked, as it was, by PhillyMag’s misguided cover story “Being White in Philly” — has frequently been laced with flawed logic. But even against that backdrop, a speech by Councilwoman Marian Tasco, given in City Council earlier this month and emailed to reporters, stood out: She called the Inquirer racist for its reporting on leaked state Office of the Inspector General reports alleging financial malfeasance at two nonprofits tied to state Rep. Dwight Evans. “If he were a white legislator and this was a white neighborhood, the Inquirer’s headline would read ‘Committed State Legislator Turns Neighborhood Around After 30 Years of Hard Work,’” according to Tasco.

Actually, the headline four years ago read, “Fumo Guilty on All Counts.” Former state Sen.Vince Fumo’s allies likewise attacked the press, including a libel suit against CP and denunciations of the Inquirer’s dogged pursuit of the story. The Inquirer’s Fumo investigations make the reports on Ogontz Avenue Revitalization Corp. (OARC) and the Urban Affairs Coalition (UAC) seem like afterthoughts by comparison. The Commonwealth is demanding that UAC return $1.5 million in allegedly mismanaged funds, and that OARC return $2.7 million.The reports allege Evans directed UAC to pay a pastor and his assistant $365,000 for unverifiable work.

Tasco has clashed with departing Inspector General Kenya Mann Faulkner before. Faulkner prosecuted former Councilman Rick Mariano for corruption and was then appointed to the city’s Ethics Board. In 2010, Tasco and others blocked her reappointment. “Council is continually stereotyped … [as trying] to defraud the public,” complained Tasco, who in 2011 “retired” for a day to collect $478,057 via the city’s DROP program. “I am offended.”

Investigators and reporters have taken aim at white politicians like Fumo, former Council president George Schwartz (caught up in ABSCAM), Councilman Leland Beloff (accused of extortion with mobster “Little Nicky” Scarfo) and imprisoned former House Speaker John Perzel. But, then there’s the FBI’s bugging of Mayor John Street’s office, the conviction of Lebanese-American ex-Councilman Jimmy Tayoun and Councilwoman Blondell Reynolds Brown’s campaign-finance practices. Of course, there’s also the claim that Evans, with (white) U.S. Rep Bob Brady’s prodding, routed $1 million to a for-profit retirement home controlled by Beloff’s family. When it comes to corruption allegations, Philly truly presents a rainbow coalition. ✚ Send feedback to daniel.denvir@citypaper.net

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FDR Park

hostilewitness

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[ doesn’t know where to place the blame ]

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✚ a million stories

Squilla, with the lowest tax bill of any council member: $633. That’s because Squilla’s house was rehabbed under the city’s 10-year tax-abatement program; under AVI that break will increase to $172,583 of his home’s value. Squilla says this is a perfect argument for his proposal to phase in AVI’s impact over four years. “The argument against phase-in is that people have been overpaying and should get that break right now, but if you look at cases like my house, you know that is not always the case,” he notes.

María Quiñones-Sánchez, who could see her taxes double on her Norris Square rowhouse, says there is an issue of fairness at stake. She was sanguine about the sharp increase in property values, saying they were a sign of neighborhood revitalization. Still, Quiñones-Sánchez has been a supporter of AVI with targeted gentrification relief. “I believe that with means-based gentrification relief we’re going to be able to help those folks with low and fixed incomes, while allowing them to capture the real value of their assets,” Quiñones-Sánchez says.

Squilla, meanwhile, says he won’t be taking his windfall:“Whatever reduction that I receive will be used to help someone pay their taxes who [was] inaccurately assessed.”

—R.B.

✚ GIVING CREDIT It was an unlikely setting for a call center: a conference room high above Logan Circle, within the offices of the law firm Drinker, Biddle & Reath,

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crowded with well-heeled donors in suits.

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<<< continued from page 7

But it was a special occasion. Last Thursday was “Lottery Day” for the Children’s Scholarship Fund Philadelphia (CSFP), which was giving out nearly 2,000 four-year grants to help low-income families in Philly afford private-school tuition.

During a brief ceremony, the crowd listened to a heartfelt speech from a mother who had previously won the lottery. Then the attendees clustered around ad hoc phone banks to personally inform the scholarship recipients of their luck.

It was a feel-good moment, but not without controversy. The event marks the first time that the privately funded philanthropic organization will use a hotly debated program, Pennsylvania’s Opportunity Scholarship Tax Credit, for some awards. The credit allows private companies to defer up to 90 percent of their state corporate taxes to “scholarship organizations” serving families that live near underperforming schools. CSFP is the largest such scholarship provider in Pennsylvania, and about 700 of this year’s 2,000 awardees will be funded by the tax credits.

Advocates say the program helps needy students get quality educations. But critics have assailed it as a “backdoor” school-voucher program, diverting resources from public schools to private academies. The lottery event was publicized by the Bravo Group, a firm headed by Chris Bravacos, who also leads the pro-voucher REACH Alliance and sits on the board of the Philadelphia School Partnership,

a well-known school-choice advocate.The Bravo Group

itself previously served as a conduit for an earlier pro-

gram called the Educational Improvement Tax Credit, which CSFP also received.

“We’re committed to issuing 2,000 new four-year scholarships over five years. It’s a $50 million campaign,” said Ina Lipman, executive director of the fund, crediting major corporate sponsors: Wawa, PNC and ACE INA insurance. “[Families] are being empowered to get the school that best suits their needs.”

Lipman dismissed critics who say tax credits could rob public schools of resources.

“Actually, the reverse happens,” she said. It is “giving opportunities to children trapped in failing schools. When you do that and put them in a private school,

It’s not without controversy. the funding for Philadelphia public schools does not go down. They maintain the same

funding level, they just have to divide it among fewer students.”

Lipman referred to herself as “as a real publicschool advocate,” and noted that her children all went to public schools. Although her work affects the Philadelphia School District, Lipman lives in Springfield Township, Montgomery County.

—R.B.

✚ CORRECTION In last week’s story on indigent defense [“Tipping the Scales,” March 14, 2013], we reported the Defender Association does not do investigations in misdemeanor cases. That’s incorrect, says Stuart Schuman, the association’s chief of Municipal Court pretrial and special courts: “We order investigation in every Municipal Court case where it is necessary to provide effective representation for our clients.”

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✚ Lease Resistance

[ the naked city ]

<<< continued from page 6

With 30,000 eviction cases coming through each year, Philadelphia’s Landlord-Tenant Court has become an extreme example of the impact representation can have. CLS and others estimate that 97 percent of tenants go unrepresented, while the majority of landlords have lawyers.

“There’s a clear imbalance of power,” says Karen Buck, executive director of the SeniorLAW Center.

With the Help Center, “We’re trying to go to the source, because we recognize that the courts have an obligation to address the imbalance.”

The court works like this: Dozens of cases are scheduled at once (and those tenants who are even a few minutes late can lose by default, finding themselves evicted and owing hundreds or thousands of dollars in rent and legal fees). Those who show up are sent into the back room, typically to meet with their landlord’s lawyer and negotiate a settlement, like Green did. Out of 100 or more cases in a day, only a few may make it before a judge.

It’s in that back room, where most cases not won by default are resolved by agreement, that the balance of power really shifts.

“People come to court and they agree to pay a lot — even more than they owe. I have tenants that only owe $300, and they sign agreements for $2,000. They’re intimidated,” Cohen says. Often, the tenants will also agree to pay attorney’s fees as high as $750, whether or not the fees are reasonable — or even allowed under the lease. “Tenants come to me and say, ‘The judge said I had to sign an agreement,’ and it ended up being the landlord’s attorney they were speaking with.”

But by then it’s too late: Judgments by agreement, fair or not, can’t be appealed.

Cohen, with help from Penn and Drexel law students and volunteer lawyers, tries to counteract that by giving advice and helping clients — many of whom have disabilities or mental-health issues — organize their cases. “I’ll sometimes type out the recommended arguments, staple the receipts together and say, ‘Just hand this to the judge.’”

Cohen says that makes a material difference for about half the families she serves. “The other half really needs an attorney in court with them.”

Buck says that’s the goal, but a year into Help Center operations, “the demand is overwhelming all of us, and we’re out there looking for resources.”

No funding has yet been identified to continue the work — and there’s more to do. “What we’d really like is to be able to provide an attorney to every lowincome tenant who needs us.”

But now, even sustaining the legal-aid services currently offered by Philly agencies is uncertain.

CLS cut its staff by 20 percent in 2011, and Carr fears more belt-tightening could follow. That’s because providers rely heavily on funding from a program called Interest on Lawyers’ Trust Accounts (IOLTA); when interest rates were slashed, that funding dried up. The sequester is expected to reduce funding further, though the exact impact is unclear. One thing is evident, though, at a time when more people have fallen into poverty: Many who need help won’t get it — and

legal-service providers will have to pick and choose their clients.

That, Carr says, is why Civil Gideon is so important.

“In this non-mandatory, nonentitlement system, the publicinterest lawyers will give priority to victims of domestic violence trying to maintain custody of their children [over cases not involving violence]. Those are the kinds of triage decisions we’re making. … Which clients do we put at the top of the list?”

In Philly’s Family Court, more than 90 percent of people are unrepresented, says Carr. The legal-aid system takes on very few custody cases: “There are too many of them, and too few of us.”

While CLS has done work on foreclosures — a hot-button issue for which there’s been increased funding lately — funding for tenant cases remains negligible.

“It’s a real crisis in our country.”

All this is despite legal aid’s documented economic impact: A report by Pennsylvania IOLTA last year found each dollar in civil legal-aid spending resulted in $11 of income and savings for Pennsylvanians.

So, the question is: Could a case along the lines of Gideon go to the Supreme Court and change the game? Carr says it’s not likely.

Litigation or legislative reform at the state level is more plausible.

But, she says, “We’re not there in Pennsylvania right now.” It will take a lot more advocacy first.

She says the fact that most people mistakenly believe that civil representation is guaranteed, though, shows a gut-level understanding of its importance among the American public.

Until then, the “civil-justice gap” remains. “It’s a real crisis in our country, because the law affects our lives in very profound ways,” Buck says. “The amount of justice you get should not be dependent on your income.” (samantha@citypaper.net)

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From our readers

UNWANTED PUBLICITY A post on our Naked City blog about Councilwoman Marian B. Tascoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s rebuke of the Inquirer for publishing the details of a leaked state report alleging misconduct and misspending by the Ogontz Avenue Revitalization Corporation [â&#x20AC;&#x153;Councilwoman Tasco Calls Inky â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Racistâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; for OARC Report,â&#x20AC;? Ryan Briggs, March 7, 2013] caused commenter EastChestnut to observe: â&#x20AC;&#x153;I guess Councilwoman Tasco has not heard of the Streisand Effect.

Now that sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s gone off and run a screed about how â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;racistâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; the

Inquirer is, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s only going to make people question â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;what the hell is she talking about?â&#x20AC;&#x2122; and go read the OARC article.â&#x20AC;?

VACANT STARE A Naked City blog post about City Council president Darrell Clarkeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s package of bills designed to incentivize development on blighted land [â&#x20AC;&#x153;Council Tries (Again) to Tackle Phillyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Vacant Land Problem,â&#x20AC;?

Samantha Melamed, March 7, 2013] prompted a response from commenter PhillyNetTaxPayer: â&#x20AC;&#x153;Actually, this is City Council figuring out ways to NOT deal with the vacant land problem. If they wanted to fix this problem, they would simply auction the properties like every other jurisdiction in the U.S. that is not run by corrupt idiots.

But their real goal is to hoard the properties and then give them away to machine supporters. Articles like this help them cover up their real mismanagement of the city.â&#x20AC;?

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VIRAL EFFECTS Our cover story about the various outcomes when police violence against citizens is caught on video [â&#x20AC;&#x153;Police Brutality in the iPhone Era,â&#x20AC;? Daniel Denvir, March 7, 2013] prompted citypaper.net commenter MC Karimbo to declare: â&#x20AC;&#x153;Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s open season on the citizens. More liability and problems for the taxpayers who dish out on the settlements because police want to beat a suspect. Judges are also part of the process. â&#x20AC;Ś Now we have videos and they continue to beat the defenseless.â&#x20AC;?

Commenter John S. James chimed in: â&#x20AC;&#x153;Why do modern police forces protect the thug minority among them? I have lived for 70 years and never seen a time without serious police brutality. In the U.S. itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s partly a leftover from slavery. Even Lincoln wanted the former slaves to return to Africa; he knew this countryâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s racism was permanent. But worldwide, U.S. police are not the worst. Class, ethnicity, politics, and corruption are issues even when race is not. Phone videos certainly help deter police abuse.â&#x20AC;?

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feedback

â&#x153;&#x161; We welcome and encourage your feedback.

Mail letters to Feedback, City Paper, 123 Chestnut St., 3rd Floor, Phila., PA 19106. E-mail editorial@citypaper.net or comment online at citypaper.net. Submissions may be edited for clarity and space.

5] b] /[b`OY Q][ ]` ^V]\S & CA/ @/7:

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NEAL SANTOS

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FOR THE RECORD: Frank Lipsius — whose father Harold Lipsius put out early Philly soul music on labels like Arctic, Jamie and Guyden — sits in his Center City office.

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Eddy, whose reverby track “Rebel Rouser” was Jamie’s first smash hit.

Lee Hazlewood’s production of Eddy is what, in part, lured Phil Spector to the Lipsius family door.

Hazlewood business partner Lester Sill became a mentor to the young Spector, who in turn pestered the hell out of Hazlewood to learn his sonic secrets. Hazlewood and Sill split, and Sill went with Spector. Spector became a constant visitor to Harold Lipsius’ office and formed Philles Records out of his and Sill’s first names.“My dad used to say that Phil cut quite a figure,” notes Frank Lipsius, “due to his eccentricities.”

“PRIOR TO ALL this with Guyden and Jamie, Philly was a pop town,” says Eli, a self-professed “white-boy guitarist” who started doing sessions at Guyden’s studios at the dawn of the ’60s. “I mean, Cameo, Chancellor and Swan were principally pop and teen-idol labels at first. For a long time they really didn’t have the same love of black music that Jamie had.”

Lipsius’ next label had even greater meaning to Philly’s African-American community and soul lovers everywhere. In 1964, Jimmy Bishop was the program director of Philadelphia’s WDAS-AM, the city’s leading R&B radio station. His afternoondrive shift, “The Jimmy Bishop Go Show,” was a daily must-listen.Weldon A. McDougal III knew that. A singer with Guyden artists the Larks, as well as a producer of the Volcanos and other bands, McDougal had just created DynoDynamics Productions with several other Philly producers and brought Bishop into the fold. When Bishop wanted a label to go with his production company, he formed Arctic, an oceanic name to reflect his love of New York City’s Atlantic Records.

Where Harold Lipsius was concerned, Arctic was created out of the roots of Jamie and Guyden, only guided by a single charismatic personality rather than multiple scouts and producers. “Harold was the partner who took care of the business side while Jimmy did the creative — and boy, Jimmy had some ear,” says Frank Lipsius, recalling the allure of 1965’s “Yes, I’m Ready” by Barbara Mason, Arctic’s first hit.

“Jerry Wexler at Atlantic rejected that song, you know,” laughs Eli, who played on the track. “Not only did that tune put Arctic on the map, it’s where the MSFB rhythm section took flight. Between that rhythm and the strings that we got from the Philly Orchestra, that became our sound.”

Though Pottstown’s Daryl Hohl — later Hall — had just started at Temple University, the singer and songwriter already had a leg into Philly’s soul scene, Arctic in particular. “I would hang at the Uptown Theater and WDAS studios, where I got to know Jimmy Bishop, Butterball, all the jocks,” says Hall. “I even think we won this big talent show at the Uptown. All I can remember was that we suddenly found ourselves at Virtue Studios recording our first songs.” The “we” was the Temptones, a street-corner-soul foursome formed at Temple. “I was an out-of-towner, you know, so I had to meet people. I jumped into whatever musical scene there was at Temple at the time. These were the guys I met, the sorts that spent time singing on the corner.” Guys such as Paul Fogel and Brian Utain became Temptones (sadly, Utain died on the day Hall was interviewed for this story) and recorded songs that Hall wrote in the studio.

The liner notes to the Arctic box set Cooler Than Ice say that Fogel brought Hall into their fold, but that claim irks John Oates’ future

partner: “No. Paul Fogel didn’t bring me into shit. If anything, I brought him in. We were just on the corner singing. No one brought anyone anywhere.” Hall also dispels a rumor that one of the acts he competed against in that Uptown contest was Philly’s legendary vocal outfit the Delfonics. “Nah. I knew the Delfonics from West Philly. Once that first Temptones single, ‘Girl I Love You,’ started getting play, the Delfonics and us hit the same circuit.” Several other Hallpenned A- and B-sides followed on Arctic — all while he was trying to hook up with other labels, arrangers and producers. “Arctic was cool, but in those days, you looked around and tried to get a deal anywhere and everywhere.”

As Arctic began to thaw and wane, another Lipsius label was on the rise, one that showed off R&B’s evolution into funk. The Phil-L.A. of Soul label was started by Larry Cohen, Jamie’s promotions guy. “By 1967, a lot of R&B radio stations were keener to play records on R&B labels rather than the majors,” says Lipsius, pointing out the substantial hits that artists Cliff Nobles had with “The Horse” and Fantastic Johnny C had with “Boogaloo Down Broadway.”

John Ellison, the front man of Soul Brothers Six and the author of their epic hit “Some Kind of Wonderful,” had just left Atlantic Records when he signed to Phil-L.A. of Soul as a solo artist.

“Harold was a straight shooter,” says Ellison, a native of 33rd Street and Columbia Avenue. “They respected me as much for my songwriting and producing as they did my singing and wanted me to become part of the company. They were fair. And I knew the difference. Back then, the business was nothing but crooks, to be blunt about it.” >>> continued on page 20

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PLAY IT AGAIN: “I’m a steward of amazing music that has been buried for a while, and I’m here to excavate it,” says Frank Lipsius.

After a slew of Phil-L.A. sides such as “Lost the Will to Live,” Ellison showed off additional aspects of his musical personality for Lipsius’ Jamie label, performing, producing and writing gospel music with Spiritual Gifts and the Can I Get a Witness? album. Ellison’s next Jamie album, due this summer, will be a surprise. “It’s something that you’ve never heard me do before,” he says.

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THE GUYDEN/JAMIE/ARCTIC/PHIL-L.A. of Soul musical axis existed solidly between 1955

and 1976, but by the late ’70s, the majors were the only place to be for African-American artists, and the independent-label ideal fell by the wayside. “We just couldn’t compete when it came to signing artists,” says Lipsius.

In the ensuing years, Jamie records were licensed for compilations or release by oldies labels like Rhino. Frank’s sister Julie promoted those songs for other artists and recordings for sync uses — for example, Duane Eddy’s “Rebel Rouser” was the instrumental in the scene in Forrest Gump where

Tom Hanks’ character runs and sheds his leg braces. The distribution business changed, too, and Universal went out of business in 2004, three years before Harold Lipsius died.

But Frank Lipsius’ new mission has picked up steam. Last year, Lipsius got tapes from the basement of state Rep. Louise Williams Bishop, the widow of Jimmy Bishop, for the Cooler Than Ice box. Along with remastering his labels’ albums and singles for the CD market, Lipsius and his small staff began the arduous process of turning thousands of 10- and 7-inch tapes into MP3s for the download-centric public. The redesigned JamGuy website offers better access to Lipsius’ stable of more than 200 artists and thousands of songs. “We wanted it done properly, as there are countless artists that we still send royalties to,” he says.

Lipsius’s next project is a Phil-L.A. of Soul box, provisionally titled Catch and Release and hopefully ready this year, and he’s been thinking about how to chop up the Jamie and Guyden fare into their own box sets. “Completeness is difficult with material so rare and precious,” Lipsius says with a smile. “But I’m a steward of amazing music that has been buried for a while, and I’m here to excavate it.” Lipsius thinks himself fortunate to have the opportunity for the ultimate in record-crate digging, and is grateful that it’s part of his heritage: “These labels all but disappeared. My job is to make sure that the music doesn’t.” (a_amorosi@citypaper.net)

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Often, these people get frustrated and wind up in my office. I’m used to it….it’s fine with me.

Years ago, I was an assistant editor for Spirituality & Health magazine in NYC. My office was in the financial district and I had a stunning view of the World Trade center. All was fine by me. But then, 9/11 happens and I have front row seats.

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Four out of five people that show up in my office have been in therapy for many months or even years, taken all sorts of medications, wound up with huge medical or psychological bills, and are still no better off. Often, they’ve been subjected to medications that have only served to temporarily mask symptoms. Or they’ve talked and talked and talked and still have the same issue. That’s not what most people are looking for.

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Dear friend,

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“My story: a doctor’s struggle with drugs”

Ash from the buildings washes off my clothes and hair after a week but debilitating fatigue sets in and I lose my drive and focus. Everything feels like an effort, yet I desperately want to keep my job. My MD tells me there’s nothing I can do about it and despite suggestions, I have no interest in talking to a therapist.

Instead, I find a Neuro Emotional Technique (NET) practitioner. I feel so much relief after the very first visit. I don’t have to take drugs or talk about my feelings for months on end. After a few months, I feel better than ever!

Eleven years ago NET saved my life. It allowed me to have more energy, less pain, and more happiness despite living through the aftermath of September 11th.

I was so impressed that I earned a doctorate in psychology so that I could learn NET and help others. Now, people from Philadelphia come to see me for their fatigue, painful joints, unhappiness, chronic health conditions, despair, distress, tension, weight loss blocks, and relationships issues, just to name a few. They don’t come for psychotherapy because that’s not what I do; they come for life coaching and NET.

“I was having difficulty recovering from a car accident. When I wasn’t getting better my chiropractor referred me to Dr. Sterling. I was amazed at how I progressed.” --Anna Special Offer-Look, I know you’re smart. You want to get to the cause of your problem, and not just cover it up with drugs, nor talk about things to no effect. So, when you call to schedule a new patient exam you’ll receive that entire exam for just $47. That’s a full history, an assessment of your current level of functioning, and the report of findings.

Plus, it includes NET-the whole ball of wax. These two exams normally cost $444. But, please call right away because this offer expires at 6pm on March 30th, 2013, and I wouldn’t want you to miss out.

My office is called Sterling Holistic Health and is in The Healing Arts Center of Philadelphia at 123 Chestnut Street, Suite 204. The entrance is on 2nd Street between Citizens Bank and The Plough & The Stars. My phone number is 215-627-3782. Please call my wonderful assistants today, Kristin, Amy or Suzanne to reserve your spot.

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These neighbors of yours tell their stories: “Following a pretty serious breakup, I found myself gaining weight, avoiding friends, and developing a short fuse. I felt down, yet didn’t want to take medication, and didn’t know what to do. All that turned around after my sessions with Dr. Sterling. I was able to move on with my life in a much happier manner.”

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icepack

By A.D. Amorosi

³ THERE ARE PLENTY of nu-comedians and hipster standups who we adore: Doogie, Juliet, Chip — I’m looking at you. Danny Ozark, I miss you more than epaulettes. But let’s give a hand to a hard-working vet, a Philly star of stage and radio, Joe Conklin. No matter what else he does, Conklin holds a special place in my black comic heart for his impersonations. I grew up loving David Frye, Will Jordan and Fred Travalena. It’s a lost art.

So hearing that Conklin just struck a deal with Bensalem’s Parx Casino to host his own show every Wednesday starting mid-April is tops.“[Parx boss] Tony Ricci is a local guy, he grew up here, listening to all of us on the radio at WIP,” says Conklin. “It just clicked.” Conklin will work into the mix musical elements, some sketch comedy and celebrity MCs. He promises to tap fellow comic Big Daddy Graham for their Two Funny Philly Guys routine. Coolest, though, is that Conklin is looking to da yout’ for fresh laughs. “We plan to tap into the burgeoning open-mic scene. There’s a ton of really smart young comics working the mics, and I want to use a chunk of time for those guys every week.”

Bravo, Joe. ³ Down around my sleepy Italian Market neighborhood, we’re still sad that the lady who put the cunt into country, Carman Luntzel, had to shutter Carman’s Country Kitchen (11th and Wharton). Still, there’s been lots of hammering and cleaning at that location, and just the other day came news of yet another lass, South Philly’s own Christine Liskowicz, opening a cafe spot titled Porto by summer. Let’s give the girl a hand. ³ Steve Oskie, the man who helped cross the T’s and dot the I’s for Jerry Blavat’s autobiographyYou Only Rock Once,tells me that its publisher, Philly’s Running Press, is getting ready for the paperback edition. While Oskie mentioned late spring/early summer 2013, several bookseller sites say August. ³ Ex-Stateside landlubber chef George Sabatino is headed to Avram Hornik’s Morgan’s Pier on the Delaware. Along with the dining areas alongside the bar, there will be a newly reconfigured eating-only spot. ³ The last time we checked in with the Philly DoGooder folk they were filling Hamilton Hall several weeks ago with the winners of its first-ever awards for local video goodness. Next up is the national contest — vote for your favorite video at youtube.com/ dogooder by April 5. Looking ahead: Their partners at the Spruce Foundation host their sixth annual gala dedicated to next-generation philanthropy April 6 at World Café Live. ³ Every Thursday, Icepack’s sequel, Icepack Illustrated,pops up on City Paper’s arts and entertainment blog, Critical Mass. It’s a lot bigger, and it’s got photos. Go to citypaper.net/criticalmass. (a_amorosi@citypaper.net)

INVISIBLE KITTEN: Pearce Bunting as career fisherman Cassidy and Brian Ratcliffe as greenhorn Darrel in the Wilma’s Under the Whaleback.

ALEXANDER IZILIAEV

curtaincall CP theater reviews

³ UNDER THE WHALEBACK For Americans who know British playwright Richard Bean only for his hit Broadway farce One Man, Two Guvnors, his 2003 drama Under the Whaleback is quite a shock — and should have theater companies rushing to read his many other plays. The East Hull native’s drama about his city’s once-thriving fishing industry receives a stunning Wilma Theater North American premiere.

In three scenes, each years apart, director Blanka Zizka’s production explores ordinary fishermen’s lives coping with dangerous seas, complicated relationships, and stultifying boredom. One legendary fisherman, Cassidy (who “could find fish in a fuckin’ farmyard,” we hear) — who’s played masterfully by Pearce Bunting, but also discussed throughout — epitomizes the glories and miseries of the men who spent more than 40 weeks a year at sea, then tried to cram a semblance of normal life into their brief shore time.

The entire play takes place under the whaleback, the raised bow of a large sidewinder trawler’s deck, which provided a windbreak for on-deck work and housed the crew quarters. Set designer Matt Saunders and sound designer Daniel Perelstein build a feeling of being at sea, then create a harrowing North Atlantic storm in the second scene: The boat, an open shell on the Wilma’s stage, pitches violently on hydraulics, while the sea’s

perfectly coordinated wave crashes are felt as well as heard. As usual, the Wilma uses its considerable resources creatively, but not gratuitously; we vividly experience the crew’s growing fear and dread on their third day without food, water, or work as they wait out the storm.

Under the Whaleback isn’t just about the conditions, though — Zizka’s smart, sensitive direction reveals the people, and a strong cast brings this fragmented play’s three scenes to life. In the first, set in 1965, Cassidy schools a new teenage sailor Darrel, played by Brian Ratcliffe, in a gritty encounter that soars despite the necessary exposition that plants the seeds for the play’s explosive climax. “Those that can swim,” Cassidy bluntly instructs, “are only prolongin’ the agony.” Ocean fishing, even more dangerous than mining, isn’t a job Cassidy expects to retire from.

Seven years later, Darrel relies on Cassidy’s lessons during that dreadful storm, while other sailors — particularly disintegrating Norman, played by Keith Conallen — struggle to cope. Norman’s loyal friend Roc (Ed Swidey) and salty old-timer Bill (H. Michael Walls) are trapped with Norman and Darrel under the whaleback, where their conversation ranges from the hilarious (like an absurd debate about what constitutes an orgy) to the shocking emotional nakedness of men facing imminent death. Their claustrophobia, intensified by the waves crashing and the ship rolling, is profoundly poignant.

Thirty years later, in 2002, the fishing boom has gone bust.

A harrowing Atlantic storm in the second scene.

>>> continued on page 36

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[ you try to give away a keeper ] ³ rock/folk

Not to be confused with Kate Foust’s Philly band of the same name, this Lady is actually two ladies — big-voiced R&B vets Terri Walker and Nicole Wray — tag-teaming their way through a spunky, goodnatured self-titled bow on Truth & Soul. Their soul is unambiguously retro, but it’s tough to pinpoint specific referents beyond a loose turn-of-the-’70s window; you’ll hear peak-era Motown punch, Philly International polish and a touch of conga-abetted blaxploitation funk, beefed up with gleaming production and never-overstated, hip-hop-indebted muscle.

—K. Ross Hoffman

Hamburg-based BOY — Swiss-born Valeska Steiner and German-born Sonja Glass — makes warm, not-too-cynical indie folk. Their debut full-length, Mutual Friends (Nettwerk), has finally washed up on our shores and it’s half Feist-y, mildly St. Vincent-ish and charming as all hell. Lots of peppy snares, chimey synths and odes to young confusion. BOY plays World Café Live on Wednesday. Scream for “Drive Darling,” if it seems like screaming is appropriate. —Patrick Rapa

³ electronic A bit Dilla, a little Skrillex, the self-titled debut from Flume — aka 21-year-old Australian Harley Streten — suggests a post-dubstep take on the something-for-everyone, pop-happy mentality of prime Chemical Brothers and Basement Jaxx. While Streten’s shimmery broken beats will get heads nodding, the real star of Flume (Mom+Pop) is the abundance of freely pitched ’n’ spliced vocals, including guest spots from Dido-ish lounge-cheese chanteuse Moon Holiday, moaning rock-dude Chet Faker and absurdly named New York rapper T.Shirt.

—K. Ross Hoffman

flickpick

³ dvd/blu-ray Most critics wrote off Andrew Dominik’s “political cartoon” Killing Them Softly (Anchor Bay) as heavy-handed, but set aside the bourgeois fetish for subtlety and a galvanizing polemic emerges, shot and acted with thrilling gusto. In a bigfoot parody of cutthroat capitalism, the movie’s lowlifes — gloriously scuzzy Scoot McNairy and Ben Mendelsohn, oily enforcer Brad Pitt — pledge fealty to the almighty dollar without realizing every one of their associates has done the same. Killing Them Softly may not have a light touch, but when you’re hunting big game, sometimes a shotgun is the best weapon.

—Sam Adams

[ movie review ]

ADMISSION [ C ] REMEMBER THE OLD DAYS, when all a kid had to do to get into Princeton was

A cutesy rom-com that rings lazy.

STAY GOLD ³ PLENTY OF ARTISTS peak early; Lisa Loeb’s career highlight came after one self-released cassette. She topped the Billboard Hot 100 with “Stay (I Missed You),” from the Reality Bites soundtrack, for three weeks in August 1994, more than a year before Geffen got around to putting out Tails.Sales certainly suffered as a result of the lag time, and her follow-up singles failed to make much of an impact. To her credit, she never stopped working. She’s still writing, recording and performing, in addition to starring in reality shows, sending poor children to camp and marketing quirky eyeglasses. Of late, she’s been busy making kids and records for kids.

Loeb’s latest release, No Fairy Tale (429 Records), is the first she’s recorded for adults in more than eight years. She shares writing credits on the two best tracks with New Found Glory guitarist Chad Gilbert; “Walls” is a pretty, downbeat rocker that, like “Stay,” finds Loeb figuring out her feelings via something she heard on the radio, while “The ’90s” is a gentle pop-punk poke at her younger self. “So alternative, just like everybody else/ In the mainstream,” she sings knowingly.There’s also a sweetly assertive title track,two glossy tunes by Tegan and Sara and a few scenes of mild domestic turmoil.

Of course, there’s nothing that approaches “Stay,” which could have been too cloying, too wordy and too meta. Instead, it was the perfect three-minute pop song, from Loeb’s first acoustic guitar lick to her last plaintive note. “I turn the radio on, I turn the radio up/ And this woman was singing my song,” she sings, and in the process made listeners feel the same way. Sure, the pacing and production are straight outta the ’90s, and Loeb’s band, Nine Stories, seems more an excuse for a Salinger reference than a cohesive musical unit. But the track’s shortcomings only add to its charm.

As for the rest of Tails,only “Do You Sleep?” gets the alt-rock romance ratio right: one part wistful jangle, one part accusatory crunch. If deeper cuts like “It’s Over” and “Sandalwood” are satisfying in smaller ways, “Hurricane” is too ponderous, “Taffy” too angsty and “Garden of Delights” too self-consciously casual. Hey, that’s the ’90s for you. ✚ Lisa Loeb plays World Café Live on March 24.

35

FLUNKING OUT: Tina Fey plays a Princeton admissions officer with a stunted sense of self-worth.

M.J. Fine does it again

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run a high-class brothel out of his folks’ house? In today’s post-Risky Business landscape, the one that director Paul Weitz pedals across in Admission, becoming a Tiger takes more than edgy enterprise. It’s grades, scores, legacies and sob stories. How to best synthesize the whole package? “Just be yourself,” Tina Fey’s decision-maker advises a student tour group. Fey and Paul Rudd take that advice as gospel here, and usually that’s enough. Both are capable comedic commodities who alienate few and amuse many. So why does this rom-com’s rollout feel so lethargic? The action’s steered, in the most neurotic sense of the word, by Portia (Fey), a Princeton admissions officer with a stunted sense of self-worth. Ditched by long-term boyfriend Mark (Michael Sheen), Portia has zero shoulders to cry on. At the office, she’s battling Corinne (Gloria Reuben) for a promotion, while her über-femme mother Susannah (Lily Tomlin) provides the opposite of maternal support. After John (Rudd), head of an alternative high school, lures Portia out for a recruiting visit, she finds herself drawn to the witty, flannel-wearing headmaster himself and Jeremiah (Nat Wolff), an unconventional student who John, through some fuzzy paperwork and reasoning, claims is the son Portia gave up for adoption years before. When Jeremiah expresses a desire to attend Princeton, Portia begins gaming the system to increase the chances of her maybe-kid’s unworthy transcript earning a nod. Like always, Fey stumbles, Rudd bumbles and it’s as cutesy and inoffensive as ever. It’s the movie’s many out-of-character decisions that make it hard to buy. Too much about Admission rings lazy, and a guidance counselor would probably say the same. —Drew Lazor

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Joilet F. Harris as Lena Younger in A Raisin in the Sun.

Darrel — now played by Bunting — stocks a museum ship with folksy mannequins romanticizing the brutal shipboard conditions we just experienced. Twitchy Pat — played by Conallen, for reasons that tie into the play’s intense revelations — arrives to confront Darrel about the seafaring father he never knew. Past and present collide in two extraordinary performances, all the more impressive for being the second characters vividly crafted by these two skilled actors.

Their encounter’s raw emotional and physical violence surprisingly leads to more thoughtful considerations when a representative of the next generation of seafarers — Gaby Bradbury as Darrel’s youngest daughter — appears. Can these people continue to survive by fishing? Can they feel alive without it? With implications extending far beyond Hull’s history to contemporary economic shifts in our country, Under the Whaleback makes these seemingly foreign issues real and personal.

Through April 7, $10-$54, Wilma Theater, 265 S. Broad St., 215-546-7824, wilmatheater.org.

—Mark Cofta

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³ A RAISIN IN THE SUN You might be tempted to assume that A Raisin in the Sun, Lorraine Hansberry’s 1959 play about a family in Chicago striving for a better life, is an important part of our theatrical past. Think again — in ways that are simultaneously thrilling and frightening, Raisin, now getting a vibrant production at the Arden Theatre Company, feels as vital as ever.

Raisin, written when Hansberry was in her 20s, is part of a grand tradition of plays about the American family. Many elements here echo works by Eugene O’Neill, Arthur Miller and Tennessee Williams — notably, how parents pass to their children some

of their own strengths and weaknesses, and the degree to which success and security, seen here in the iconic form of a home, are so often just out of reach.

What’s different in Raisin is that the family — the Youngers — are black, and every aspect of their aspirations is harder to fulfill and undermined by circumstances beyond their control.

When Raisin opened on Broadway, it heralded the coming of a highly gifted young writer, one with a new voice and new stories to tell, the beginning of a hugely promising career.

Instead, Hansberry died five years later of cancer at the age of 34 — an immeasurable loss to American theater.

Yet her great play lives on. And as directed by Walter Dallas at the Arden, Raisin still has much to teach us. Dallas’ production is an intriguing mix of tradition and new perceptions. He and his distinguished cast bring a note of humor and lightness I’ve never seen before. This is especially true of Joilet Harris (playing Lena, the matriarch), a wonderful actress who brings a touch of girlish sweetness to everything she does.

But make no mistake — Dallas’ production packs a wallop, and Hansberry’s words resonate as powerfully as ever. And yes, that’s both thrilling and frightening.

Sensitive audiences in 1959 no doubt comforted themselves by thinking things would be better 50 years later. If only. Through April 21, $39-$48, Arden Theatre Company, 40 N. Second St., 215922-1122, ardentheatre.org.

—David Anthony Fox

✚ WE ARE CITY PAPER. WE ARE LEGION. Didn’t we see you last weekend? Our dauntless staff is always going out and doing things and then talking about them on Critical Mass. Check out more reviews and photos of theater, concerts, dance and more, or just figure out what you’re doing this weekend, at City Paper’s A&E blog, citypaper.net/criticalmass.

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IN THEATERS TOMORROW

SIC KIDZ IN THE HALL? Rock and Roll Hall of Fame prez Greg Harris nominates his Philly favorites.

By Joseph Poteracki

W

e love it when a Philly guy goes on to great things, even if he has to leave Philly to do it. In the mid-â&#x20AC;&#x2122;80s, before South Street became a post-gentrified boardwalk, Greg Harris and his pal Jacy Webster opened the (still kickinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;) Philadelphia Record Exchange on South Fifth Street. The place was something of a haven for DIY musicians of the post-punk, roots-rock variety. â&#x20AC;&#x153;It was a busy era,â&#x20AC;? says Harris, â&#x20AC;&#x153;and it wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t defined by any one gigantic name. I think Philly was known to the rest of the world for Philly soul, and for bands like Hall & Oates, but we were sort of going the other way.â&#x20AC;? Now, after nearly 30 years and plenty of occupation changes, Harris is the president of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and Museum. We asked Harris: If you were to construct a â&#x20AC;&#x153;Philly Hall of Fameâ&#x20AC;? from your good olâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; days, who would be in it?

Âł BEN VAUGHN COMBO Ben Vaughnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s band formed in 1983, the same year Harris enrolled at Temple. Always attracted to both gnarly post-punk and â&#x20AC;&#x153;traditionalâ&#x20AC;? rock â&#x20AC;&#x2122;nâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; roll, Harris found himself drawn to the Ben Vaughn Combo.

Though the band leaned toward the latter â&#x20AC;&#x201D; thanks to Vaughnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s rockabilly-inflected guitar and Gus Cordovoxâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s upbeat accordion â&#x20AC;&#x201D; itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s worth noting that Vaughn went on to collaborate with Alan Vega, whose penchant for injecting fear and uncertainty into â&#x20AC;&#x2122;50s styles is well known. The Comboâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s live show was also a testament to Vaughnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s

wilder side. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Ben Vaughn shows were always great,â&#x20AC;? says Harris â&#x20AC;&#x201D; as a onetime Vaughn road manager, heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not entirely impartial. Harris says he also distinctly remembers them â&#x20AC;&#x153;playing in front of the record store and [Vaughn] walking up and down the parked cars as he played guitar.â&#x20AC;?

ROCK AND ROLL HALL OF FAME AND MUSEUM

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[ glory days ]

Âł THE STICK MEN

Formed in 1977 by art-school grad Peter L. Baker, the Stick Men went through lots of changes before becoming the funky no-wave Greg Harris band who would open for Johnny Thunders, Gang of Four and Oingo Boingo. Listening to them now is like chancing upon some long-lost Contortions record, only with keyboards and somehow more frenetic, more menacing. â&#x20AC;&#x153;The Stick Men were James Brown on fast-forward with a lot of great rhythm and stops and starts,â&#x20AC;? Harris recalls. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Just a frenzied, fantastic show.â&#x20AC;?

They disbanded after only one full-length and an EP, and even in the Internet age they remain an obscure gem.

Âł KING OF SIAM / STRAPPING FIELDHANDS Jacy Webster, Harrisâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; business partner and co-founder of the Record Exchange, had a band called King of Siam whose scratchy guitar, jittery rhythms, and (very) lo-fi production recalls the Feelies with a touch of Ween-ish psychedelia. In 1991, Webster joined songwriter/guitarist Bob Malloy and other record-store cronies in the Strapping Fieldhands, whose 1994 debut full-length Discus is somewhat legendary. Though King of Siam was more â&#x20AC;&#x153;of his time,â&#x20AC;? Harris

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recognizes the breadth of the Fieldhandsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; influence: â&#x20AC;&#x153;From what I hear, the Strapping Fieldhands have impacted a ton of younger bands. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s remarkable when I meet some of the younger Philly bands â&#x20AC;&#x201D; Dr. Dog, Man Man â&#x20AC;&#x201D; they all mention the Strapping Fieldhands, which is frigginâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; awesome because those guys were all making records 25 years ago, and theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re all record-store guys.â&#x20AC;? Both bands are still active today.

Âł SIC KIDZ The Sic Kidz represent the Philly end of â&#x20AC;&#x2122;77 punk, having started around that time and opened for the Cramps, Siouxsie and the Banshees and the Dead Kennedys.

Frontman Mick Cancer once described punk rock as â&#x20AC;&#x153;about being sick. Sick of it all. Sick of life as we live it.â&#x20AC;? This should give a good idea of their sound, but itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not the whole story. They were also a lot of fun, offsetting the mangled distortion of their guitars with a slapback delay on the vocals. â&#x20AC;&#x153;The Sic Kidz were a phenomenal band.

They were the growling, late-night swamprock stuff that was just incredible. They were always great to see live.â&#x20AC;? (joseph.poteracki@citypaper.net)

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THE TEXAS FRONTIER Ten acts that won my heart at SXSW 2013. By K. Ross Hoffman

W

hatever your niche, a large percentage of your favorite bands are pretty much statistically guaranteed to play the South by Southwest music conference in Austin, Texas, in any given year. But SXSW is best utilized as an opportunity to find new favorites. I spent last week catching as many acts as possible that I had never seen before, some of whom — like sui generis rappers Le1f and Action Bronson, destined-for-greatness pop firebrands Angel Haze and Charli XCX, Philly mainstays Bleeding Rainbow and Free Energy — I already loved via their records.

The following 10 artists, however, have almost nothing in common except that, prior to last week, I’d heard no more than a single song from any of them, and now I am a committed fan.

³ KITTEN This poppy, thrashy, glammy punk band from L.A. kickstarted my Wednesday with a zippy three-song set. Their frontwoman, Chloe Chaidez, is the likely source of their moniker: She’s tiny, frisky and damn near feral, a nonstop ball of energy in shiny skin-tight jeggings and bronze-glitter eyelashes. She put on the most hyperkinetic performance I saw all week (which is really saying something) — vamping, gyrating, flailing her hair, sinking to her knees, shaking her ass at the sparse midday crowd, leaping from a Marshall stack.

³ BODY PARTS Also from L.A., this four-piece had everything you’d expect from a standard-issue dance-y indie-pop outfit of the ’10s, but so much more on top of that: nifty three-part-harmony vocals, an extra-tight, extrafunky rhythm section, deadpan banter, intricate song structures and, maybe most unusually, notably creative and intriguing lyrics.

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³ CAITLIN ROSE

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[ arts & entertainment ]

[ rated rookies ]

Nashville up-and-comer with an appealing, no-frills rock-country sound; a sweet, down-to-earth stage presence; mom jeans; and a solid, entertaining seven-piece crack team of, presumably, Nashville pros. It was a few numbers before her voice started to open up, but there were some glimmers of Neko Case in there once it did.

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Super-new indie-electro-dance-pop band from New York. This was their second-ever show (their first was two weeks ago at Kung Fu Necktie). Full disclosure: I went to high school with the lead singer, but that doesn’t make them any less awesome. Their song “Overdose” was recently at the top spot on Hype Machine’s mostblogged-about chart, or something — and it’s easy to hear why, cuz the thing is about 300 percent hook. No reason these guys couldn’t be the next, say, Chairlift.

³ PHOX Not the next Phish, but a seven-piece folky-chamber-pop group from Madison, Wis. They met in high school, they said, and I’m guessing that wasn’t too long ago. Chipper, wide-eyed and wholesome and gracious almost to a fault, doe-eyed, doll-like lead singer Monica Martin offered copious thank-yous to everyone from the bloggers to the booker to the bartender who recommended her whiskey. The music was great: gentle, soulful and upbeat, with just enough complexity to keep it interesting. The bassist doubled on flute, and the banjo player picked up a trumpet for a few licks, Belle & Sebastian-style.

CAT LADY: Chloe Chaidez of Los Angeles band Kitten kicked ass.

K. ROSS HOFFMAN

³ PICKWICK Spirited rave-up rock ’n’ soul sextet from Seattle. Pickwick has an absolutely fiery lead singer — a bit like a liberated Mayer Hawthorne — who was in near-constant motion, yelping and wailing and testifying and shaking his tambourine all over the damn place.

³ CHIC GAMINE Four-woman mod-soul/R&B girl group from Winnipeg and Montreal, almost like a Canadian Destiny’s Child or something.

They all sing big, brassy harmonies and switch off on lead vocals (and keyboard and Moog bass) and probably the songwriting, too.

Sassy. Funny. Good stuff.

³DENA Bulgarian-German pop/club/rap weirdo who put out the amazing single “Cash, Diamond Rings, Swimming Pools” a month or two ago. She’s a little bit slacker M.I.A., a little bit old-school good-times hip-hop, except it’s closer to dance music than rap, with sparse and funky electronic beats.

³ ZEBRA KATZ More awesome left-field hip-hop, this time from Brooklyn, and seriously badass. “Ima Read” is the anthem, a hilarious and majorly hardcore bitchy/queeny dis track with a hypnotically spare, menacing beat — performed, like the rest of his set, tagteam style with rapper Njena Reddd Foxxx. Get familiar.

³ MOTHER FALCON An Austin-based indie chamber orchestra — I counted 19 members — whose name may or may not be sneakily dirty. I saw them twice, once performing a full-album cover of OK Computer. Those arrangements were utterly gorgeous and inventive. Ditto their jazz-inflected originals, although those were a good deal livelier. (editorial@citypaper.net) ✚ For more SXSW coverage, check citypaper.net/criticalmass.

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FILMS ARE GRADED BY CITY PAPER CRITICS A-F.

The We and the I

NEW ADMISSION

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See Drew Lazor’s review on p. 35. (Wide release)

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BY RICHARD D’OVIDIO DIRECTED

BY BRAD ANDERSON

THE CROODS | B DreamWorks was boldly formulaic in hammering together its latest sure-to-be-smash, but it’s amiable and imaginative enough to tickle animation fans of all ages.

Set in an unspecified geologic period, The Croods follows that clan, hunter-gatherers led by dad Grug (Nicolas Cage), and their ho-hum existence inside a boulderdoored cave. While family members Ugga (Catherine Keener), Gran (Cloris Leachman) and Thunk (Clark Duke) don’t seem disenchanted by their lot, young Eep (Emma Stone) longs to roam. After meeting Guy (Ryan Reynolds), so evolved that he wears shoes (and a sloth, named Belt, for a belt), Eep gets her wish, as the family flees lands crumbling from the rapid breakup of Pangaea.

The resultant clash between simple, overprotective Grug and the comparatively worldly Guy pits brute strength against the strength of ideas — which is more essential to survival? The Croods’ Disney-style believe-in-yourself sentiment is spread on quite thick, but co-writers/codirectors Chris Sanders and Kirk De Micco make the most of the prehistoric creative license. Piranha birds, fluorescent saber-toothed cats and land-dwelling whales with feet are so much more fun pre-fossilization. —Drew Lazor (Wide release) OLYMPUS HAS FALLEN

CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS FOR THEATERS AND SHOWTIMES

Read Shaun Brady’s review at citypaper.net/movies.

(Wide release)

ON THE ROAD | D+ Clutching Jack Kerouac’s peripatetic roman à clef like a besotted sophomore, Walter Salles trails Kerouac and Neal Cassady’s novelistic doppelgängers like an eager puppy.

Salles doesn’t reshape or reinterpret the book so much as act it out, with the grace and intelligence of an ad hoc production staged in front of a blank bedsheet. Sam Riley’s Sal Paradise (the Kerouac figure) is appropriately moody and withdrawn, but Garrett Hedlund’s Dean Moriarty (Cassady) is less a Benzedrined philosopher than an antic loudmouth, his nervous twitching exacerbated by Salles’ incessantly handheld camera. (Someone has been watching way, way too much Cassavetes.) Viggo Mortensen’s William S. Burroughs drawl is a mild pleasure for as long as it lasts, and Kristen Stewart does haunted melancholy — hush, haters — with aplomb.

Poor Amy Adams, however, is stuck batting lizards out of trees with a wobbly rake, which aptly mirrors On the Road’s scatterbrained desperation. —Sam Adams (Ritz East) SPRING BREAKERS A haiku: It’s just like Gummo except all the sick scuzzballs are in bikinis. (Not reviewed) (Wide release)

UPSIDE DOWN A haiku: Kirsten Dunst and some guy find love despite all the magic realism. (Not reviewed) (Ritz at the Bourse)

THE WE AND THE I | B+ In The We and the I, Michel Gondry approaches the comingof-age film with his usual blend of ragged whimsy and narrative ingenuity. The film transpires entirely during a single (if fantastically extended) city bus ride home for a group

THE INCREDIBLE BURT WONDERSTONE | C-

“ THRILLINGLY ORIGINAL, DEEPLY FELT. A VALENTINE TO NEW YORK!” A.O. Scott, THE NEW YORK TIMES

lulled to sleep the same way by her queen mum. Skipping ahead, Jack is still poor, orphaned and struggling to maintain his dumpy farmhouse; Isabelle rebels against her royal poppa (Ian McShane), who’s arranged for her to marry next-level scumbag Roderick (Stanley Tucci). Having drawn his uncle’s ire for trading a monk a horse for “magic” beans, a dejected Jack’s spirits are lifted by a visit from Princess Isabelle — who’s literally lifted when a discarded bean erupts and sends his domicile, complete with princess, blasting into the stratosphere. Cutting large-scale battles with small-scale trickery, Jack gets action right. There is an overreliance on CGI, but it never gets too Transformers-y. —DL (Wide release)

THE BIGGEST HIT OF THE YEAR

HAS CRITICS & AUDIENCES RAVING… “ WICKEDLY FUNNY!

ONE OF THE SMARTEST AMERICAN MOVIES THIS YEAR.” -Tom Carson,

“AN ELECTRIFYING MASTERPIECE! NOTHING WILL PREPARE YOU FOR ‘SPRING BREAKERS’.

HARMONY KORINE KNOCKS IT OUT.” AIN’T IT COOL NEWS

✚ CONTINUING BARBARA | A

-Harry Knowles,

In Christian Petzold’s pensive drama Barbara, the wind that scours the countryside is as much of a character as the eponymous female doctor, banished to a rural hospital after expressing her wish to leave East Germany.

From the first scene, Barbara (Nina Hoss) is constantly under surveillance — mostly by the brutal Stasi, although everyone, from colleague to patient, is a potential spy. Even if she weren’t planning to cross the Wall to be with her West German lover, she’d be a suspect anyway. Everyone is. Barbara is Hoss’ fifth film with Petzold, and the movie rests on the depth and subtlety of their working relationship. There’s a persistent streak of melodrama at Barbara’s core, but it’s melodrama through the wrong end of a telescope, without overbearing music or portentous dialogue. The movie is dense but never feels arduous — assembled with easy mastery, it is engrossing throughout. —SA (Ritz Five)

“JAMES FRANCO HAS MADE THE ROLE OF A LIFETIME.” -Drew Grant,

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THE CALL A haiku: Nine One One? This is Halle Berry! I have a hair emergency! (Not reviewed) (Wide release)

JACK THE GIANT SLAYER | BFee-fi-fo-fum: All this CGI is dumb.

It’ll be easy for practical-FX purists to hack Bryan Singer apart for the visual approach of his tricked-out fairy tale: “high gloss, low heart” goes the screed. But while the director has created what looks like a million-shekel iPhone game, the flesh and blood of Jack the Giant Slayer is unexpectedly buoyant due to Jack’s young stars. As a lad, the head-in-theclouds farm boy (Nicholas Hoult) loves the monster-filled bedtime yarns spun by his father. Same goes for Princess Isabelle (Eleanor Tomlinson), who’s

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The 40 Year Old Virgin and Little Miss Sunshine helped Steve Carell earn his status as America’s favorite heartbreaking project of a leading man, his unacted-upon seething and downtrodden diction endearing him to the put-upon. That’s why it’s strange to admit that his latest seemingly welltailored character — a past-his-prime illusionist — might be his least likable role yet. After a decade on the Vegas Strip, Burt Wonderstone (Carell) and codependent partner Anton Marvelton (Steve Buscemi) are told to adapt or die — both by their well-heeled boss (James Gandolfini), who deems their act stale, and by upstart performer Steve Gray (Jim Carrey), who’s fond of grotesque, David Blaine-like publicity stunts. Banished to performing at an old-folks home, Burt later connects with former assistant/budding magi-

cian Jane (Olivia Wilde) and childhood idol Rance Holloway (Alan Arkin, gotta love him) en route to a splashy, top-that comeback. While it reads like lowbrow gold, there are simply not enough sincere belly laughs wedged into Wonderstone. —DL (Wide release)

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DEAD MAN DOWN | C For his first big-screen project since 2009’s The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, Niels Arden Oplev goes looking for art in all the wrong places, crafting a visually breathtaking sorta-noir that looks, but doesn’t sound, the part. Victor (Colin Farrell) is trusted muscle for gangster Alphonse (Terrence Howard), who for months has been shaken by cryptic threats that escalate with the discovery of another lieutenant’s body in a chest freezer. Boss man doesn’t have a clue that it’s Victor orchestrating the harassment in retribution for the death of his family years earlier.

Oplev kills it in the killing department, maestro-ing a wild handful of unpredictable sequences, including an insane résumé piece shot in Center City. Too bad J.H. Wyman’s script is tonally bizarre, trying so hard to pass as urban poetry that it can’t pass as even remotely human. —DL (Wide release)

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of Bronx high-schoolers. The setting allows Gondry to examine the shifting dynamics of the ensemble as the bus empties, the mood shifting along with the fading light outside its windows. In the early stages, several adults share the crowded bus with the students, and we seem to watch apprehensively through their eyes as the kids posture, tease and threaten. But any risk this approach runs of turning into a head-shaking exposé of reckless youth dissipates as the grownups bail and the students are left with only a steadily diminishing audience of their peers.

Bullying gradually gives way to confessions, from which slowly emerge meaningful conversations among the last few who ride to the end of the line. Cell phones provide a link to the outside world, both for Gondry’s craftsy fantasy sequences and for the kids themselves; popularity can be charted by the speed with which a viral video reaches one’s phone. Gondry spent more than two years at The Point, a community arts center in the South Bronx, working with students who went on to portray fictionalized versions of themselves.

The interactions he gleaned are messy, complicated and occasionally ugly, but also surprising, and their language and dynamics make them both stereotypical and authentic, a fitting representation of the high-school experience.

—Shaun Brady (Ritz at the Bourse)

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LIKE SOMEONE IN LOVE | B+ In the oft-sung standard that lends Abbas Kiarostami’s latest film its title, it’s that first little word that gives the lyric its wry twist. Whether gazing at stars or hearing guitars, the singer (Kiarostami opts for Ella Fitzgerald’s rendition) can’t quite admit her own feelings just as the three main characters in Like Someone in Love suffer from a similar disconnect. The director’s evasive intentions are clear from the opening shot as a cell-phone conversation takes place: Although the camera lingers on customers in a bar, none of them is the speaker. Eventually, the voice is revealed to belong to Akiko (Rin Takanashi), a young prostitute sent to the home of an elderly professor (Tadashi Okuno), who seems more interested in company than in sex. Each of Kiarostami’s characters end up playing parts in the others’ eyes, defined not by who they claim to be, but by who the others assume them to be — a subtle, but ultimately fateful distinction. —SB (Ritz at the Bourse)

— impressionistic imagery and an elliptical narrative — fails to spellbind.

Set in 1945 Germany, Lore centers on the title character, Hannalore (Saskia Rosendahl) as she guides her four siblings 500 miles across the Black Forest to their grandmother’s farm after they are abandoned by their Nazi parents.

Rosendahl gives a strong performance, but neither it nor the outstanding cinematography by Adam Arkapaw can redeem the film’s slow, somber and uninvolving qualities. —Gary M. Kramer (Ritz at the Bourse)

NO | A A canny comedy and cutting critique, Pablo Larraín’s No looks back at the 1980 vote to extend or end Chilean autocrat Augusto Pinochet’s rule through

OZ: THE GREAT AND POWERFUL | C+

LORE | C+ In 2004, Australian writer/director Cate Shortland made an auspicious feature debut with her film Somersault. Her follow-up, Lore, continues to demonstrate her expertise at depicting a teenage girl’s coming of age.

However, Shortland’s approach here

TINA FEY

an adman’s eyes. René Saavedra (Gael García Bernal) is accustomed to using the language of liberation to sell soft drinks, but when he’s placed in charge

PAUL RUDD “

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TINA FEY AND PAUL RUDD ARE A MATCH MADE IN HEAVEN!

Filled with heartfelt laughs. A real gem.”

ET.COM

“

DEVILISHLY CLEVER!

Tina Fey and Paul Rudd sparkle.”

ELLE

Let someone in Michael Sheen Lily Tomlin Starts Friday, March 22nd in Theatres Everywhere CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS FOR THEATRE LOCATIONS AND SHOWTIMES MOBILE USERS: For Showtimes – Text ADMISSION with your ZIP CODE to 43KIX (43549). Msg & data rates may apply. Text HELP for info/STOP to cancel.

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of the nightly TV time devoted to the no-confidence vote, he’s marketing the genuine article. Given that Pinochet covertly executed thousands of political opponents, the case against him would seem obvious, but René goes a happier route. Instead of recalling secret torture chambers — a total downer — he crafts sunny jingles about a post-Pinochet future. Larraín incorporates copious amounts of archival footage, shooting the rest on smeary 4:3 videotape to blur the dividing lines. Chilean critics have accused Larraín, whose father is a prominent right-wing politician, of playing fast and loose with history, but it’s clear his real target is the present day, when revolutionary rhetoric is inconceivable outside the commercial framework.

René’s side may have won the battle, but No argues with blackened humor that they lost the war. —SA (Ritz Five)

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In his Evil Dead films, Sam Raimi’s camera careens around those cursed woods like a mad dog let off its leash.

The mind reels at the Emerald City and enchanted forests that Sam Raimi might have conjured with a 3D camera, but unfortunately those images remain in the mind. For the most part, this Oz bears an unfortunate resemblance to Tim Burton’s vision of Wonderland, down to its ponderous Danny Elfman score. Both bloat the familiar landscapes of childhood into eye-achingly candy-colored battlegrounds, trading whimsy for action and heart for explosions. This Disney-produced prequel traces the arrival of the Wizard, aka Oscar Diggs (James Franco), a Kansas flim-flam man with outsized ambitions. Franco is a slyly eccentric

actor who constantly subverts his leading-man looks; where Robert Downey, Jr. (the first actor approached for the role) excels at self-interested con men who gradually succumb to their better natures, Franco always seems on the verge of bursting into mocking laughter at the inauthenticity of it all. His casting is deadly to the digitally concocted fantasy world, at which his eyes appear to roll, not marvel. —SB (Wide release)

STOKER | B+ The English-language debut of Park Chan-wook (Oldboy) is a fascinating if sometimes ungainly hybrid, a gory Gothic Frankenstein: It’s a cyborg, but that’s OK. The script, by Prison Break’s Wentworth Miller, is a trifle, but Park spins ornate variations on its clumsy themes. India Stoker (Mia Wasikowska) is an alabaster wisp, withdrawn but eerily self-possessed, like an eggshell waiting to be cracked. Enter charismatic Uncle Charles (Matthew Goode), a globe-trotting dandy whose dark side is almost comically apparent. Goode’s sly malevolence teeters on the edge of camp, but Park strikes a perfect balance, using Lee Hazlewood and Nancy Sinatra’s gloriously overwrought “Summer Wine” as a key to the movie’s aesthetic. As the mother who realizes too late what’s been happening in her house, Nicole Kidman has a bum part, all porcelain placidity and slowly dawning horror, but Park’s direction shows little of the tone-deaf quality common to directors making their first film in a foreign tongue. Stoker works mostly as a mood piece, but what a mood it is.

—SA (Ritz East)

THE WAITING ROOM | AAs the debate over healthcare reform rages on, this gripping documentary offers an essential view into the American system. Set at a public hospital in Oakland, California, The Waiting Room follows over-worked, under-supplied doctors and needy patients who wrongly rely on the ER as a way of managing their medical issues. In a 24-hour period, 241 patients — many of whom are underinsured — filter through the sluggish and dysfunctional process of receiving care. Director Peter Nicks’ tender and dignified portrayals of all involved make for a compelling film. While scenes of staggering bureaucracy can be enough to raise one’s blood pressure, this worthwhile film needs to be seen. —GK (Ritz at the Bourse)

[ movie shorts ]

Spirited Away (2001, Japan, 125

min.): In order to save her parents, a girl has to work at a bathhouse that caters to magical creatures, gods and witches. Sat., March 23, 11 a.m., $5.

PHILADELPHIA FILM SOCIETY Gershman Y, 401 S. Broad St., 215545-4400, filmadelphia.org. The Angels’ Share (2012, U.K./France/ Belgium/Italy, 101 min.): A father-tobe tries to turn his life around after visiting a whiskey distillery. Thu., March 21, 7:30 p.m., $5.

INTERNATIONAL HOUSE 3701 Chestnut St. 215-387-5125, ihousephilly.org. Reportero (2012, U.S./Mexico, 71 min.): This doc follows a reporter and his colleagues as they work in one of the deadliest places to be a journalist. Thu., March 21, 7 p.m., $9. The Invisible War (2012, U.S., 93 min.): A doc looking into the rape of U.S. military soldiers. Fri., March 22, 7 p.m., $9. Putin’s Kiss (2011, Denmark/Russia, 85 min.): He clearly had peanut butter for lunch, gross.

Sat., March 23, 5 p.m., $9. Brother Number One (2011, New Zealand, 97 min.): Olympian Rob Hamill tells the story of his brother’s death at the hands of the Khmer Rouge. Sat. March 23, 8 p.m., $9. ’Round Midnight (1986, France/U.S., 133 min.): Jazz legend Dexter Gordon stars as a fictional musician struggling with alcoholism. Sun., March 24, 5 p.m., $9. Kinetic Kino: A series of films are shown focusing on the kinetics of dance. Mon., March 25, 7 p.m., $9. The Incredible Shrinking Man (1957, U.S., 81 min.): Oh, honey, it’s OK. It happens to everybody. Wed., March 27, 7 p.m., free, RSVP required.

WOODEN SHOE BOOKS 704 South St., 215-413-0999, woodenshoebooks.com. Under the Pavement Lies the Strand (1975, West Germany, 103 min.): This black-and-white drama, hailed as a “cult film for the feminist movement,” focuses on the aftermath of the 1968 student rebellions in Germany. Sat., March 22, 7 p.m., free.

More on:

✚ REPERTORY FILM BRYN MAWR FILM INSTITUTE 824 W. Lancaster Ave., Bryn Mawr, 610-527-9898, brynmawrfilm.org.

citypaper.net ✚ CHECK OUT MORE R E P E R T O R Y F I L M L I S T I N G S AT C I T Y PA P E R . N E T / R E P F I L M .

agenda LISTINGS@CITYPAPER.NET | MARCH 21 - MARCH 27

the agenda

[ we got it good for all the right reasons ]

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the

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GET OFF MY LAWN: Helen Money plays Kung Fu Necktie on Saturday.

TRAVIS MCCOY

The Agenda is our selective guide to what’s going on in the city this week. For comprehensive event listings, visit citypaper.net/listings.

IF YOU WANT TO BE LISTED:

THURSDAY

3.21 [ theater ]

✚ A PLAY, A PIE, AND A PINT

—Mark Cofta Spacewang, March 21 and 24; Kyoto, March 26-28, 6:30 p.m., $15, Society Hill Playhouse, 507 S. Eighth St., 800-838-3006, tinydynamite.org.

[ literature ]

✚ IN COLD BLOOD MARATHON In Cold Blood, Truman

Capote’s 1966 book-length documentation of the murder of a Kansas farmer and his family and the trial of their killers, is high up in the classic canons of both true-crime novels and narrative journalism.

Maybe you never got around to reading it — or maybe you’ve been meaning to give it another read after a Wall Street Journal piece last month suggested that Capote may have embellished or even plain made up a few key parts of the book. Either way, you can do so at this marathon event, where readers march through the entirety of the book in a single day, one 10-minute slot at a time. Decorations, costumes, props and snacks — Kansas favorites like steak, succotash, hominy, apple pie — inspired by the text will heighten the mood. No registration required, but call ahead for a time slot if you want to read.

—Kelly Lawler Thu., March 21, noon-10 p.m., free, Kelly Writer’s House, 3805 Locust Walk, 215-746-7636, writing.upenn.edu/wh.

[ photography ]

✚ NO BICYCLE PARKING According to the last ranking by hardcore-bike-lock company Kryptonite, Philly’s got the worst bike-theft problem in the country — worse than New York, San Francisco or Chicago. The announcement emphatically stated that “there wasn’t even a city close to Philly. Not even close.”

There’s evidence of it all over the city: a wheel locked to a parking meter or a frame chained to a stop sign, the rest long gone. If those bikes could talk, what stories would they tell? And why don’t their owners come claim their locks and scraps? Such lonely, strippeddown, rusted-up bike skeletons inspired Raphael Xavier — better known in Philadelphia as a hip-hop dancer and choreographer — to snap more than 400 photos. He plans to make a book of it; meanwhile, he’s showing some of the im-

ages in the “No Bicycle Parking” exhibition. Xavier will be there Friday night starting at 5 p.m. to record the thoughts and personal stories of people who’ve lost bikes to thievery.

—Deni Kasrel Thu.-Fri., March 21-22, free, Painted Bride, 230 Vine St., 215-925-9914, paintedbride.org.

[ rock/pop ]

✚ ESBEN AND THE WITCH Oh, the things you can get away with when you’ve got the voice of an ice princess and the percussion of a demon. Esben and the Witch’s chilly Gothrock pivots expertly between serene and squalling, but don’t try to make too much of the lyrics. On “When That Head Splits,” one of the standouts from Wash the Sins Not Only the Face (Matador), Rachel Davies sings a verse that could’ve been plucked from Robyn Hitchcock’s wastebin: “Alone she sits, a silent voyeur

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The concept launched eight years ago in Glasgow, Scotland, as a response to cuts in arts funding: a series of short plays performed at lunchtime in the basement of a pub, with a pie (the savory

Company’s version of David Vazdauskas’ A Brilliant Noise, directed by John Doyle. Azuka Theatre Company’s Allison Heishman delivers this week’s Spacewang, three comic shorts

by Tom Wells. Next week, Tiny Dynamite presents David Greig’s Kyoto, a sort-of sequel to last spring’s hit Being Norwegian, with actors Kittson O’Neill and Kevin Bergen reprising their sublime performances as intimate strangers, directed by Paul Meshejian. A Play, A Pie, and A Pint proves that theater needn’t be a fullevening formal occasion. Drop in for a quick one, you won’t be sorry.

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Submit information by email (listings@citypaper.net) to Caroline Russock or enter it yourself at citypaper.net/submit-event with the following details: date, time, address of venue, telephone number and admission price. Incomplete submissions will not be considered, and listings information will not be accepted over the phone.

British Isles kind, not the American dessert kind) and a beer included in the ticket price. Having witnessed PPP’s success firsthand, U.K. expat Emma Gibson adapted it for Philadelphia audiences with her company, Tiny Dynamite.

Pie became pizza and lunch became dinner, but the plays remain brilliantly quirky gems.

Tiny Dynamite won a Knight Arts Challenge grant in 2011 and scored more funding, plus a loyal following, after two successful four-play, month-long PPP “seasons.” A champion of the often-overlooked one-act form, Gibson showcases new and rarely seen short plays (usually less than an hour long), mainly from the U.K. She invites some of the area’s most inventive small companies to co-produce; PPP’s third “season” has already presented Inis Nua Theatre Company’s staging of Too Much of Nothing (starring Dublin actors Mark O’Halloran and David Wilmot and directed by Tom Reing) and Iron Age Theatre

ANGEL CEBALLOS

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/ Kneeling naked at the altar / While ants clamber over the / Petrified hand of her neighbor.”

Somehow, Davies makes it sounds more spooky-sensual than creepy-crawly.

—M.J. Fine Thu., March 21, 8 p.m., $10-$12, with Heliotropes and Mohican, Kung Fu Necktie, 1250 N. Front St., 215-2914919, kungfunecktie.com.

[ theater ]

✚ CRIMINAL GENIUS

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Plays frequently stand alone — theater just doesn’t tend toward the sequels, series and recurring characters often found in TV, film and books.

This is one of many reasons to check out this fourth installment of Canadian playwright George F. Walker’s Suburban Motel chain of plays. Last

June, B. Someday (Walking Fish Theatre’s producing arm) gave us The End of Civilization and Featuring Loretta in rep, and Problem Child in November. The ironically titled dark comedy Criminal Genius unfolds in the same setting as the other three plays — a dingy motel room on Toronto’s sketchy outskirts — as small-time father-and-son crooks Stevie (Peter Zielinski) and Rolly (Lou Seitchik) hide out, having failed in their mission to burn down a nearby restaurant. Gun-toting, Pepto-swigging leader Shirley (Sarah Robinson) is understandably pissed, while sloshed motel manager Phillie (Arumugavel Nagarajan) just wants his money — and then everything flips when lowly victim Amanda (Gina Martino) takes charge of this sad-sack crew. Director Stan Heleva’s production crackles with a loony fury, navigating the thin line between comic mayhem and visceral violence.

See Criminal Genius, and then check back into Suburban Motel in June 2014 for Adult Entertainment and Risk

[ the agenda ]

Everything in rep.

—Mark Cofta Through March 30, $10-$20, Walking Fish Theatre, 2509 Frankford Ave., 215427-WALK, walkingfishtheatre.com.

FRIDAY

3.22 [ dance ]

✚ KUN-YANG LIN/ DANCERS After consistently playing to full houses at the Painted Bride, Kun Yang Lin/Dancers is heading to bigger quarters. Drexel’s Mandell Theater should be a good fit, as Lin says the company is already accustomed to playing spacious auditoriums when touring abroad. They’ll stretch out with a program inspired by two simple shapes that embody manifold concepts:

[ dance ]

✚ SCUBA ’13 If you’re looking to dive into contemporary dance theater, head to this double bill of experimental movers. The nationally touring SCUBA program makes a point of splitting the bill between local and out-of-town artists.

The homegrown Green Chair Dance Group presents the quirky Tandem Biking and Other Dangerous Pastimes for Two..., a humorous “two’s

Fri.-Sat., March 22-23, $5-$20, Conwell Dance Theater, Temple University, 1801 N. Broad St., 215-546-2552, philadanceprojects.org.

HEDI SLIMANE

Fri.-Sat., March 22-23, $27-$35, Mandell Theater, Drexel University, 3201 Chestnut St., 267-687-3739, kunyanglin.org.

the food court from the guitars.

Then you click on her videos and she’s lounging around in her undies with a tarantula on her face, or clutching her heart through a little black dress, or

food | classifieds

—Deni Kasrel

—Deni Kasrel

[ the agenda ]

the agenda

company, three’s a crowd” talky piece that delves into intimacy, friendships and ensuing entanglements. On a more serious note, there’s Seattle company The Real Shannon Stewart with An Inner Place That Has No Place. This moody rumination on ever-morphing states of memory is an intellectual work of contrasts that’s challenging to perform and to watch.

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circle and square. The square is represented in the angular, orderly One-Immortal Game, a new chess-themed work that deals with the clash of human instincts for power and boundaries with our yearning for a sense of community. On the round side, there’s Mandala Project, an artful, meditative work that’s flowy and evanescent and just might alter your state of consciousness.

SATURDAY

3.23 [ rock/pop ]

✚ SKY FERREIRA If you only heard 20-year-old Sky Ferreira’s music, you might think she was a child of the ’80s: Madonna beats, sparse synths, breathy vocals recorded on the other side of

challenging you to a staring contest with her scary Swimfan eyes. Hints of Garbage. A little Courtney Love-ly. Now you don’t know what to think.

—Patrick Rapa Sat., March 23, 9 p.m., $13-$15, with How To Dress Well and High Highs, Johnny Brenda’s, 1201 N. Frankford Ave., 215-739-9684, johnnybrendas.com.

[ metal/experimental ]

✚ HELEN MONEY The cello is generally re-

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✚ THIS IS NOT A SHOW

—Kelly Lawler

March 23-April 1, free with $14 admission, Eastern State Penitentiary, 2027 Fairmount Ave., 215-236-3300, easternstate.org.

[ rock/pop ]

✚ THAO & THE GET DOWN STAY DOWN The tension between loving and leaving has long been a lyrical concern for Thao Nguyen; on early records, she vacillated between pressing for a lover for commitment and striking out on her own.

On We the Common (Ribbon), the third studio album from Thao & The Get Down Stay Down, Nguyen examines her conflicting urges on a wider scale and finds herself torn

about planting roots in a community versus roaming the Earth. “I want to live in towns that touch,” she insists on the sultry “Holy Roller.” “We got it good for all the right reasons / The kind that makes you tired of leaving,” she sings on the gleeful “Every Body.” But

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Sat., March 23, 7 p.m., $3, Broad Street Ministry, 315 S. Broad St., 215-7354847, broadstreetministry.org.

—Kelly Lawler

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“Joe Hardcore” McKay — known for his decades of booking hardcore shows around town and founding the annual This Is Hardcore music festival — and Eric Weiss of indie zine Rumpshaker are teaming up for a night that is definitely not a show but definitely strains the number of times we can say the word “hardcore” in a single Agenda pick. Weiss will talk about coming of age in New York’s hardcore punk scene and share Rumpshaker stories and photos. McKay will share photos from the This Is Hardcore book, released this past August, and talk about the Philly scene and his seven years of running the festival. You can get tickets for a raffle of TIH and Rumpshaker paraphernalia with a donation of five bucks, new underwear or deodorant to Broad Street Ministry. Grindcore House will do the snacks.

For 10 days only, Eastern State Penitentiary will unveil a pop-up museum that will haunt your nightmares with historical accuracy. This is in addition to the prison’s regularly scheduled factbased nightmare-making.

The exhibit will spotlight more than 75 never-beforeseen artifacts concerning the intake process, escape, inmate art and more. Included in the display: a miniature cutlery set from 1856 made entirely of soup bones (for the death-row inmate on the go), a bunch of makeshift shanks, model ships and a wallet made from cigarette packs.

LAUREN TABAK

[ reading/punk ]

✚ EASTERN STATE PENITENTIARY POP-UP MUSEUM

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Sat., March 23, 8 p.m., $10, with A Life Once Lost and Author and Punisher, Kung Fu Necktie, 1250 N. Front St., 215-291-4919, kungfunecktie.com.

[ exhibit ]

the agenda

—Shaun Brady

[ the agenda ]

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nowned for its prettiness, but in Alison Chesley’s hands the sinuous instrument takes on bulldozer-like force. Classically trained, Chesley sets aside the concertos and sonatas under the name Helen Money, instead flexing her bow with the brute power and virtuosic velocity of a thrash guitarist.

Recorded by Steve Albini, her latest album, Arriving Angels, evokes the severe minimalism of guitar-based modern composers like Glenn Branca and Rhys Chatham. She’ll switch off the distortion pedals for a moment for the Steve Reichlike chamber resonance of a piece like “Midwestern Night’s Dream,” then pummel the ear alongside Neurosis drummer Jason Roeder on the harsh, relentless “Radio Recorders.”

So, sure, the cello is pretty — but for Helen Money, it’s like a bruise in a lovely shade of purple.

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[ folk/country ]

[ ambient/folk ]

✚ BENOÎT PIOULARD Thomas Meluch’s evocative, understated recordings as Benoît Pioulard nestle neatly alongside those of his Kranky labelmates in the hazy interstices between

Hymnal, his fourth full-length for the label, was inspired by the churches and religious iconography he encountered while living and recording in England and mainland Europe, making his appearance at the First Unitarian’s chapel even more fitting than it already would be given his hushed intimacy. That said, the album rarely evokes faith or divinity in any overt, straightforward sense; while certainly graceful and contemplative, it conveys none of the heavenly purity of, say, Julianna Barwick.

The ambient/drone pieces often feel downright grubby, conjuring a sense of dust and corporeal decay akin to William Basinski’s Disintegration Loops, while the interspersed folk-flecked vocal numbers, though sweetly, wispily pastoral, carry a slightly disjointed, creepy tinge.

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Matthew Houck — the primary agent behind Phosphorescent — has wandered a ways over the years, from spare, narcotized one-man folk to the rangy, full-band country rambles of 2010’s Here’s to Taking It Easy.

The new Muchacho (Dead Oceans) draws a little from both sides of that fence, but also finds Houck exploring some surprising new pastures. The album opens and closes with a serene, synth-dappled choral invocation to the sunrise, and its two finest moments, each an easy career highlight, similarly evoke the glowing comfort and reassurance of a breaking dawn: the calmly defiant, getting-up-from-the-gutter optimism and curiously soupy sonic meanderings of “Muchacho’s Tune” and the glorious “Song for Zula,” a sweeping, radio-

Mon., March 25, 9 p.m., $13-$15, with Strand of Oaks, Johnny Brenda’s, 1201 N. Frankford Ave., 215-739-9684, johnnybrendas.com.

[ the agenda ]

the agenda

✚ PHOSPHORESCENT

—K. Ross Hoffman

JAMES DUTHIE

3.25

ready epic whose sumptuous, string-suffused beat loops have echoes of U2’s “One” and the Verve’s “Bittersweet Symphony.” It’s an unexpectedly effective fit for Houck’s drowsy, rough-edged drawl.

the naked city | feature | a&e

MONDAY

—K. Ross Hoffman

the tentatively song-based (Grouper, Jessica Bailiff) and the purely sound-oriented (Tim Hecker, Windy & Carl).

Mon., March 25, 8:30 p.m., $10-$12, with Nadia Sirota and Jeff Zeigler, First Unitarian Church Side Chapel, 2125 Chestnut St., 866-468-7619, r5productions.com.

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TUESDAY

3.26

the agenda

GRO

UP THERAPY BAR

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WE SELL BOOZE!!!

Tues, March, 26th 10pm Free FAMILY SPIN DJ PARTY BYOV (Bring Your Own Vinyl)

[ rock/pop ]

✚ RICHARD THOMPSON Richard Thompson’s been making albums, in varying configurations, for 45 years.

The impressive part: He’s never really made a truly bad album.

Sure, his music has settled into a comfortable holding pattern for the last 10 years or so. But on his newest disc, Electric (New West), the British folk-rock vet is in lean, fighting form. Buddy Miller’s production dispenses with frills or fanciness. The focus stays on Thompson’s barbed songs, his virtuosic guitar flights and his interplay with the rhythm section.

Songs like “Sally B” and “Good Things Happen to Bad People” shine in this setting. Currently, Thompson is touring with the same rhythm section that backs him on the CD — bassist Taras Prodaniuk and drummer Michael Jerome. So you can expect an evening of similar thrills, in service of some great songs from the last 45 years.

Sat, March 30th, 10pm Free RAUNCHY DJ PARTY Sat, April 13th 8:30pm Donations @ Door Air Is Human, Edison and Jamie Shemanski LE BUS Sandwiches & MOSHE’S Vegan Burritos, Wraps and Salads Now Delivered Fresh Daily!

Happy Hour Mon-Fri 5-7pm Wed Night Open Mic 8:30pm Beer of the Month Sierra Nevada Stout

DOWNSTAIRS

ON THE CORNER OF

9TH & CHRISTIAN

12-STEPS-DOWN.COM INFO@12-STEPS-DOWN

215.238.0379

booking: contact jasper bookingel@yahoo.com OPEN EVERY DAY – 11 AM 1356 NORTH FRONT ST. 215-634-6430

[ the agenda ]

seen the darkness take you down with it, Mama,” McEntire sings on “Miracle Temple Holiness,” her quavery twang soaring above a melancholy flight of guitars and violins. Whether she’s battling her Southern Baptist mother, the pretty girls who haunt her thoughts or something in herself, she’s got the high ground.

—M.J. Fine Tue., March 26, 8 p.m., $10, with Blessed Feathers and Edison, Johnny Brenda’s, 1201 N. Frankford Ave., 215739-9684, johnnybrendas.com.

WEDNESDAY

3.27 [ rock/folk/pop ]

✚ SCHWERVON This ex-NYC/currently Kansas City boy-girl indie rock duo does moody and lovely just fine, but they really shine when they’re getting all poppy and weird. For nearly 15 years, drummer Nan Turner and

—Michael Pelusi

rgaicr

Tue., March 26, 8 p.m., $45-$75, with Emmylou Harris and Rodney Crowell, Academy of Music, 240 S. Broad St., 215-893-1999, academyofmusic.org.

[ rock/pop ]

DJ SYLO & LUKE GOODMAN

----------------------------------------FRIDAY 3.22 MIGHTY #motown III BRENDAN BRING ‘EM

----------------------------------------SATURDAY 3.23 DJ DEEJAY ----------------------------------------SUNDAY 3.24

✚ MOUNT MORIAH

----------------------------------------MONDAY 3.25

Eat or drink anything good this weekend?

----------------------------------------TUESDAY 3.26 THE GRIND

We want to hear about it!

DANI MARI JAMES HEARNE ANDREW JUDE NICO RIVERS

MAD DECENT MONDAYS

DJ SEXUAL CINNAMON GABE GUERRERO GUESTS DJ GABONGHI AND A. PLEASURE

----------------------------------------WEDNESDAY 3.27

DJSC DJs JOHN D. & PAUL T. GUEST DJ KEVIN KONG

www.silkcityphilly.com 5th & Spring Garden

You can glean so much from the words Heather McEntire uses: a litany of Southern locales, the lexicon of an avid reader and the sort of lovely but impenetrable poetry that hints at the

FROM THE

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ANDREW SYNOWIEZ

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THURSDAY 3.21 STUNTLOCO

guitarist Matt Roth have been matching catchy melodies with lyrical idiosyncrasies delivered via intertwining vocal lines. Somewhere between Mates of State and James McNew: That’s where you’ll find Schwervon.

—Patrick Rapa Wed., March 27, $8, 9 p.m., with Thalia Zedek Band, Religious Girls and Brokeback, Kung Fu Necktie, 1250 N. Front St., 215-291-4919, kungfunecktie.com.

years she spent trying to hide herself from the ones she loves.

For all that, the words that surface most on Mount Moriah’s second full-length, Miracle Temple (Merge), are “light” and “dark,” and the stakes are higher than a holy war. “I’ve

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foodanddrink

miseenplace

By Caroline Russock

food

ASK MEAL TICKET

the naked city | feature | a&e | the agenda

f&d

classifieds

In which we answer your edible inquiries. ³ A FEW WEEKS back we introduced a new feature on our food blog, an advice column called “Ask Meal Ticket” where the food-and-drink-minded experts here at Team Meal Ticket answer your edible inquiries. While this feature will be living mostly on the blog, every once in a while we’ll be taking your queries in print form. Use the email address at the bottom to submit your own questions.

Dear Meal Ticket: Who has the best vegan pizza in town? Does anybody do it sans soy? —Daiya the Dead Dear Daiya: We feel ya. Daiya is certainly not for everyone. One of our favorite Philly-style square-pie spots, Santucci’s (901 S. 10th St.), is more than happy to accommodate with a cheese-less pie, and their dough is happily dairy-free as well. Nomad (611 S. Seventh St.), is totally vegan-friendly with a marinara pie topped with tomatoes, basil, organic olive oil, garlic, sea salt and pepper. Just be sure to specify no Parm. Nomad can split pies into equal cheese and non-cheese halves, so there’s no reason not to share a pizza with your dairy-loving pals.

Up at Osteria (640 N. Broad St.) there’s the option to hold the mozz on their pizzas. The marinara is served dairy-free, but if it’s a matter of nondairy but otherwise omnivorous pizza eating, we’re thinking the carpaccio with red onion, lemon and anchovy pie would be a pretty damned fine alternative. (caroline@citypaper.net)

SOFT SERVE: Silky bean curd with chile oil packs a numbing punch.

NEAL SANTOS

[ review ]

CHINESE CHECKER A simple Cedar Parker looks to crack Philly’s Szechuan monopoly. By Adam Erace CHILI SZECHUAN | 4626 Baltimore Ave., 215-662-0888, chiliszechuan.com.

Open daily, 11 a.m.-10 p.m. Appetizers, $2.50-$7.95; entrees, $7.95-$18.95; desserts, $4.95-$6.95.

F

or years now, the conversation about Szechuan cooking in Philadelphia has begun with Han and ended with Dynasty.

This has been the case pretty much ever since the mini-chain’s ace, the immensely entertaining and potty-mouthed sprite Han Chiang, More on: rerouted his attention from the ’burbs to the urb.

The Old City restaurant set the gears turning for a blitzkrieg expansion, with Han Dynasties reigning in Manayunk, University City, Cherry Hill and soon, if rumors are to be believed, New York.

In Cedar Park, a mile or so southwest of Han’s outpost on the upper fringe of Penn’s campus, a challenger rises: Chili Szechuan.

Opened in February by a certain Mr. Ma — the best Englishspeaking employee knew him by no other name — this humble, 35-seat, persimmon-colored cafe is trying to crack Philly’s Szechuan monopoly, one screaming-scarlet tofu-pudding hot pot a time. Based on my visits, Mr. Ma, who is also the chef and a native of China’s Szechuan province, is going to need a bigger chisel.

citypaper.net

The tofu pudding, one of half a dozen “flavors” at Chili Szechuan, was my favorite. Hunks of silky white bean curd stood in sharp relief against a backdrop of shimmering Plagues-of-Egypt-red chile oil. The tofu was so soft, so delicate, it was like eating panna cotta with chopsticks. Even the gentlest pressure pierced the pieces, making this dish a proposition in both blind pleasure and committed tenderness.

There was chicken, too. (As with all the “flavors,” you pick your protein: chicken, fish, shrimp, etc.) And vegetables. In the pudding situation, I think. To be honest, I was too captivated by the tofu and how the heat of the chile oil built and built the lower and lower I dipped into the bowl to notice. The oil unleashed its mysterious numbing compounds, and soon everything tingled and tasted like flowers. It’s such an unusual, almost giddy sensation, being numbed by food.

MORE FOOD AND A few other choices reached the tofu DRINK COVERAGE pudding’s heights; I found Mr. Ma’s pickAT C I T Y P A P E R . N E T / led chile style, which I tried with chopped M E A LT I C K E T. bits of rabbit that were more bone than meat, edgier and more brightly sour than Han’s. The tender, dry-cooked green beans in a side dish exploded like long, skinny chile-and-garlic grenades. The seafood soup played peacemaker, an equalizing tonic of slightly viscous, clear seafood-based broth rife with chopped shrimp, tender squid and tofu curd and skin.

Though not spicy, it packed far more flavor than its neutral palette suggested, each spoonful ending on a welcome grace note of cilantro and mild brine.

Direct comparisons between Chili Szechuan and Han Dynasty >>> continued on page 54

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Dear Meal Ticket:What is the point of happy hour?

Do owners enjoy happy-hour customers? Is the purpose to have a customer to stay for dinner after drinks?—Dealhunter from Fishtown Dear Dealhunter: Having spent a fair amount of time behind the bar, we know that happy hour has advantages for bar and restaurant owners and customers alike. Offering early-evening and late-night deals entices clientele to come in at times when bar traffic is generally a bit slower. Plus, after a round or two, the folks filling the seats at the bar are much more likely to stay for a bite or even a full meal. And while we’re on the subject (and we’re pretty sure all you gracious and conscientious bar-goers already know this, but) you should tip your bartenders as if it wasn’t happy hour (i.e., 20 percent or $1 a drink).

Voilà! Everyone wins.

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Why is it when you love someone

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Show it with a romantic stay at the historic Fairville Inn bed and breakfast in the heart of the Brandywine Valley.

Less than an hour from Philadelphia and just minutes from fine dining and world-class venues including Longwood Gardens, Winterthur, and the Brandywine River (“Wyeth”) Museum. Enjoy the Elegance!

Voted Most Romantic Inn in the MidAtlantic by Karen Brown’s Guides

506 Kennett Pike (Rte. 52) Chadds Ford, PA 19317

610-388-5900 • fairvilleinn.com

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By Carly Szkaradnik

DOGFISH HEAD

the agenda | a&e | feature | the naked city

what’scooking

classifieds

food

[ food & drink ]

³THE WEEK IN EATS Throwing Down for TIP Sun., Mar. 24, 9 p.m., pay as

you go ³ Cocktail benefits to combat disasters and diseases are a fixture, but we can’t recall the last time we saw cocktails to benefit cocktails. Sunday’s throwdown is for the Tequila Interchange Project, a nonprofit dedicated to educating consumers and “preserving tequila’s great heritage.” Similar to the structure of December’s benefit for Sandy relief that was also organized by the local chapter of the U.S. Bartenders Guild, the night will see a rotating cast of bartenders doing one-hour shifts, each bringing a new drink selection. Sample sips from Christian Gaal and Phoebe Esmon of Emmanuelle, Guy Smith of Fork and a few out-of-town guests. Cocktails will go for a flat $10. With the liquor, snacks and labor being donated, TIP will receive all of the proceeds, including tips. Tequilas Restaurant, 1602 Locust St., 215-546-0181, tequilasphilly.com.

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Fishtown Neighbors Association Third Annual Chili Cook-Off Sun., Mar. 24, 1-4 p.m., $15 ³ If it feels like there’s been a big-deal chili cook-off every weekend in recent memory, well, that’s because there has been — and that’s just fine by us. This time around, 15 Fishtown restaurants (including defending champs Loco Pez, Bubba’s Texas BBQ and Cedar Point Bar and Kitchen) and 10 local residents will vie for chili supremacy. PBC and Neshaminy Creek Brewing Company will be on hand to provide the suds, and Little Baby’s promises to up the interesting quotient with a batch of Maryland barbecue ice cream. The Skybox at 2424 Studios, 2424 E. York Ave., fishtown.org.

A Hop Eclipse Now Dogfish Head Beer Dinner Tue.,

Mar. 26, 5-9 p.m., $60 ³ We can’t think of a more natural pairing for notorious East Coast hopheads Dogfish Head than West Coast pale-ale stars Sierra Nevada. The two hop-happy brewers have joined forces for a collaborative brew called Rhizing Bines (calling to mind deep roots and tangled shoots; the brewers are longtime cohorts); it’s the centerpiece of Tuesday’s beer dinner, paired with a showstopping whole roast duck with grape vin cotto. Three other DFH brews, including cask-conditioned 75 Minute IPA and the fantastic hybrid Burton Baton, will jockey for the spotlight. Dinner also includes four courses, in addition to a very warm welcome by Alla Spina’s famous soft pretzels and spicy beer cheese. Alla Spina, 1410 Mount Vernon St., 215-600-0017, allaspinaphilly.com. (carly@citypaper.net)

To place your FREE ad (100 word limit) ³ email lovehate@citypaper.net A DREAM...

with you. haven’t we come further than this, people? assuming they do is rude and disrespectful. sometimes a drink is just a drink. get over yourselves and start thinking with your big head instead of the little one for a change. maybe you’ll have better luck once you start respecting women instead of thinking that everyone just wants to fuck. not to say that sex isn’t great- it is! but only when BOTH people are into it.

MY SEXY JAILBIRD I can’t wait to see you and I can’t wait until you get out...oh how I miss your sex, your tall sexy brown body over top of me! Damn, I get so

I am still trying to understand what made you think that you can borrow from me and then ask for more money! Duh, you fucking borrowed from me, don’t you know that you owe me! I hope that you read this because that was the last dime that you will and is going to get from me, you are not getting anything else from me! If you are reading this I will be calling for my fucking money also...case in-point money doesn’t grow on trees so you need to pay me the fuck back!

PISSY BITCH In the middle of September around 10:16 pm, 7th and christian- to the girl that just squatted

BOX DOCTOR Doc, you know how to fix me up real good. I love our lil’ check ups, hand down my shirt, heavy panting, heart racing when your hands move south to check my other vital signs of arousal.

Who was that pretty little nurse with you the other day? Throw her into the mix, she can keep my lips hydrated while you’re feeling my pulse at the other end. It makes me sick just thinking about it... I need your medical attention stat!

WHAT THE FUCK! Your a piece of fucking work, I know what your old ass is up to! Why don’t you go and sit the fuck down. You just don’t understand that he is my boyfriend....you are nothing stop trying to send those tired ass pictures over the fucking internet to my boyfriend...I know who your are I want to slap the shit out of you..you really don’t know who are dealing with.

I MISS YOU

YOU ASININE OPERATIONS BITCH Seriously, WTF’s your problem. How’s it feel living up people’s anuses? You think you’re in charge like you think you’re cool-you’re neither, by far. Your organizational dyfunctionalities are like leprosy, infecting anyone unfortunate enough to be in your path. I would rather lick the dirtest sidewalks in the city than spend another minute in your presence. You’re like a dark cloud that can only mean doom; a splash of poop from a bird’s ass that falls square on someone’s head; you’re a bore, drag, a complete, utter pain in the ass. F*** Y**.

YOU’RE A MESS

LEAVE HER THE HELL ALONE... excited thinking about it it makes me wanna just scream! I lay in the bed that you helped me break in with the top cushion on it and I think to myself...my husband will be home soon and then I can finally relax, unwind and enjoy! Here’s to you sexy! You are my knight-in-shining-fuckingarmor.

ONLY FAMILY I am still amazed on how you are going to ask me for something and you owe me! To me that really doesn’t make any sense do you think that it does.

and pissed beneath my bedroom window and her friends that stood in front of her while she did- you all make me sick and I should have pushed my air conditioner out the window on top of you. next time, find a dark alley and not a main street. better yet, wait till you find a toilet.

I hope someone pisses on your head later when you’re passed out drunk from finishing all of those beers you were trying to hide.

SUGAR CAKES I thought you’d be happy if I found somebody

I can’t believe all the confusion back and forth with you over and over again about your bratty ass fucking kids. They are your responsibility to take care of and you try to throw that shit on me and that shit isn’t cool. I can’t believe that the weekend was a total washout...get your facts straight before you think someone to trying to harm your precious bastards.

✚ ADS ALSO APPEAR AT CITYPAPER.NET/lovehate. City Paper has the right to re-publish “I Love You, I Hate You”™ ads at the publisher’s discretion. This includes re-purposing the ads for online publication, or for any

57

other ancillary publishing projects.

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I still think about you, and wonder...are you alright? I just have this undeniable need to know you’re ok. Haven’t seen the real you in a long....long time. The you I do see in the pictures doesn’t smile anymore. You’re still every bit as handsome, but you look sad. You used to smile all the time when I knew you. I shouldn’t be doing this right now, but I can’t seem to stop caring no matter how much time passes. I’m sorry I didn’t say more last time we saw each other. I meant to follow up on what you told me, but I was afraid.I could have easily made the time to come see you, and I’m sorry I didn’t. It wasn’t that I didn’t care.

It was fear. The fear is still there, but despite that I miss you. I want to hear you laugh again, to see you smile. I remember how even your eyes used to smile,now they just look dark and vacant.

Assholes. having a drink with someone does NOT automatically mean they want to have sex

Let’s keep somethings private between us, like our sex life. Thnx for yet another memory...I didn’t ever want to be disrespected by you, yet I always wanted you in more ways than one. You and I did things together I never repeated. And maybe never will. Not because I didn’t like it, but because they were reserved for you. Hot snips...

M.E.

You: brown sweater, hot beard, Meatloaf!! Us: Drooling, adoring fans. Come back to 18th and Callowhill for a good time...and take off your pants. Love, The Double D’s

I Love the freaky sex we had. but I guess you were having it with everybody. Such a old ass man whore Really when does it stop? After a minute you will be as old as jesus dust. Lets see who will want you then. Dumb shit.

LISTEN UP

SWEETIESUGS

TAKE OFF YOUR PANTS

FREAK PLAY

You don’t love her. You never did, or you wouldn’t have treated her the way you did. Having her around was convenient. Have her pay all your bills was convenient, while you were off playing soldier. You blew it, and you made it seem like it was her fault. You are the consummate hyprocrite, and you apparently inherited your lying cheating ways from your father’s weak, defective DNA. She deserves to be happy. Pretend you’re a man, and leave her alone.

else so you wouldn’t be the only object under my magnifying glass. I did. And somebody else adds to my happiness rather than detracting from it. You’re in storage in my heart...let’s be open about this and maybe one day we’ll find that spark again. Right now, I’m taken far and away...

I feel your sigh of relief. XoXo, Giving Tree.

classifieds

A simple fantasy...you were a dream that I could never control or never get out of my head and I am just confused to how you entered my thoughts from the beginning. I know that you and I were only a summer fling and I wish you all the luck in the world with your fat girl “R” she will never appreciate you like I do and she will never fuck you and do all those things that I did for you. Keep having a fucked up sex life. I hope the both of you will be happy forever. But I just want you to know that combined both of your initials would of been A.A.C. That is fucking awesome! Take care!

the naked city | feature | a&e | the agenda | food

[ i love you, i hate you ]

food | the agenda | a&e | feature | the naked city classifieds

merchandise market BARBER EQUIP: 3 Prof Belmont Barber Chairs plus. $2250.

Call 610-623-1880 for details.

BED: Brand New Queen Pillowtop Set $175; 5pc Bedrm Set $345 215-355-3878

2013 Hot Tub/Spa. Brand New! 6 person w/lounger, color lights, 30 jets, stone cabinet. Cover. Never installed. Cost $7K. Ask $2,850. Will deliver. 610-952-0033.

BRAZILIAN FLOORING 3/4", beautiful, $2.75 sf (215) 365-5826 CABINETS KITCHEN SOLID WOOD Brand new soft close/dovetail drawers Crown Molding 25 Colors, Never Installed!

Cost $5,300. Sell $1,590. 610-952-0033 SHALOM MEMORIAL PLOT FOR SALE Jacob section. $1800 Susan 352-812-7103 TELEMARKETERS: Need Leads?

All you want, 1st (25) FREE - all locations. Reply, RPM - P. O. Box 28117, Philadelphia, PA 19131.

BD a Memory Foam Mattress/Bx spring Brand New Queen cost $1400, sell $299; King cost $1700 sell $399 610-952-0033

Vizio 32" TV, new in box, cost $299.95, asking $200. Also, Emerson 10" TV, asking $110. 267-528-1974

33&45 RECORDS HIGHER $ Really Paid

**Bob610-532-9408***

33 & 45 Records Absolute Higher $

***215-200-0902***

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Please be aware Possession of exotic/wild animals may be restricted in some areas.

Bichon Poodle Mix Pups - Ready March 15th. Vet checked, shots. (717)278-0932 Boston Terrier Pups - ACA, beautiful, S&W, $595. 610-286-9076.

Boxer Puppies - AKC, farm raised, cute with nice markings, vet checked and ready to go March 21st. 717-926-5804 BULLMASTIFF AKC $1200 -3 MALES 412-913-4691 CANE CORSO PUPS - m & f, blue & fawn, regis., vet checked. Call 267-882-3021 CAVAILER KING CHARLES PUPPIES For sale, health guaranteed, AKC/ACA registered, shots, wormed, born Dec 4th 2012, make offer. Call 717-614-9484 Cavalier King Charles - M/F, tri & blenheim, home raised, parents on prem 5 yr guar., ready now. Call 610485-4020 English Bulldog Puppies. AKC. 6 females, 1 male. Ready 4/22. Call 215-364-1082 English Bulldog Pups - 8wks, vet pedigree, reg, dewormed. Call 215-696-5832 French Bulldog - AKC pups, 3 males, 1 female, $2,200/ea. 856-404-3202

Dr. Sonnheim, 856-981-3397

Coins, MACHINIST TOOLS, Militaria, Swords, Watches Jewelry 215-742-6438 I Buy Anything Old...Except People! antiques-collectables, Al 215-698-0787 I Buy Guitars & All Musical Instruments-609-457-5501 Rob JUNK CARS WANTED We buy Junk Cars. Up to $300 215-888-8662 Lionel/Am Flyer/Trains/Hot Whls $$$$ Aurora TJet/AFX Toy Car 215-396-1903

jobs

Books -Trains -Magazines -Toys Dolls - Model Kits 610-639-0563

everything pets pets/livestock

Coins, Currency, Gold, Toys,

Trains, Hummels, Sports Cards. Call the Local Higher Buyer, 7 Dys/Wk

German Shepherd Puppies - AKC Black & Red, Sable Males only Parents are hip certified. $1,300.

Call 856-299-3809 GERMAN SHEPHERD PUPS - Shots, wormed, unregis. $425. 267-243-8476 German Shorthaired Pointer PUPPIES purebrd 8wk $500 call/txt 856.308.3023 Golden Retriever Puppies for Sale Family owned ACA health certificate. Ready for Easter call 610-273-2038 Golden Retriever Quality Puppies Champ lines, 2 litters, 9 M, 6 F, shots / wormed, coloring cream to gold, sire and dams on premises, family raised and nurtured. Call 215-234-4425 LAB PUPS READY NOW MUST COME SEE!!! 100% GAUR. 215-768-4344 PIT BULL PUPS - Beautiful blues available, serious inquiries only. 267-320-5063 Rottweiler Puppies. Purebred, great temperments, born 11/6/12, 3 females, $500. Parents on site. Call 856-296-6578 Rottweiler Pups, AKC, shots, tails clipped, $500. Call 484-523-4421 SHIH TZU POO PUPS FOR SALE $300 Call: 302-525-9767. I am in Philadelphia SHIH TZU PUPS - Free vet exam, shots, wormed, $480. Call 302-897-9779 Weimaraner Puppies - 3 blue M, 2 silver F, 1 blue F. $800 Call 610-721-0732 Yorkie Puppies - A KC reg. vet checked home raised. Call 215-490-2243

Home Healthcare Provider Needed to live w/ eldery female w/Alzheimers in exchange for free rent & utils. Exc for someone on fixed income. For more info call (410)693-3711

Caregiver Avail. To care for your loved one Reliable w/car. Call 484-636-7392

apartment marketplace

apartment marketplace 63xx Vine 1BR Lg Kit/Bth/Closets!

$645+utils.

267-357-0250

Apartment Homes $625-$875 www.perutoproperties.com 215.740.4900

10xx Belmont Ave 1BR $699+elec.

2nd flr, secure triplex. Call 215-901-4464 39XX Lankenau 2BR/1BA $850 Off st. prkg, ADT sec., washer & dryer. By train, market & Target. 215-680-6508

1641 W Lehigh Ave. 1BR all util incl new renov. Call 215-525-5800 lic# 374062 22nd & ALLEGHENY 2 BR $650/mo. newly renovated, must see! 610.718.6542 2424 North 29th St. 1BR/1BA $600 Water included. Section 8 - Homeless Vets OK. Call 267-701-7845

3208 W Cecil B Moore Ave 2br $600 freshly painted, 1 & 1/2 month sec. dep. & 1st month rent req. Call 215-828-6651

33RD ST. 1-2BR $625 & up newly renov, near Univ 215.227.0700, 9-5 36xx Old York Rd. 2BR/1BA $590 Carpeted BRs, kitch, 2nd flr. 267.255.1895

4xx S. 56th St. 2BR+ den $750 1st flr, renov, nr trans, yd. 267-934-1618 6042 Washington 2BR $700+utils 1st flr dplx, avl imm. Call 610-284-6652 60xx Yocum St. 3br $700+water Lrg master, eat in kit, 610-534-4521

56 N. 58th St. 1BR/1BA $650 1mo. rent & sec. Call 610-416-0026 902 N. 41st St. 1br $600 lrg, 3rd flr, 1st mo + sec 215.292.4145 W. Phila 2, 3 & 4BR apts. Avail Now Move in Special! 215-386-4791 or 4792

W. Phila/Parkside 1BR $750+utils Furnished ground floor, beautifully restored, row house, accessorized kitchen, high beamed ceilings, orig. plank floors, ample free parking on street, trolley & 38/40 bus stop in front. For rent by owner (917) 445-4149

3715 North 17th St. 3br/2ba $700+utils $2100 move in. Call 215-224-4034 or 215-844-6911

1,2, 3, 4 Bedroom FURNISHED APTS LAUNDRY-PARKING 215-223-7000

1BR $560 2BR $620 Meticulously renovated. Call James at 215-455-5843

1 BR & 2 BR Apts $735-$835 spacious, great loc., upgraded, heat incl, PHA vouchers accepted 215-966-9371 400 Hansberry St. 1BR/1BA $650 Water & gas incl. (215) 740-0355 5211 Greene St. 1br $650+utils Great location. Call 610-287-9857 Penn St. 1BR $575+electric newly remodeled. avail now 215.783.3418

395 E. CLIVEDEN ST. 2 BR $750/mo utils separate . Please call 215-836-2412 6617 Blakemore 1BR/1BA $700 per month. Newly Renovated Apt. Please call 215-651-6660.

7500 GTN AV Garden type 1&2BR! Spring Special ! Newly dec, d/w, g/d w/w, a/c, lndry/cable on prem, off st prkg. Pets!215-275-1457/233-3322 85xx Mansfield Ave. 2BR/1.5BA $1100+ utils. $2200 move-in, 1st flr. LR, DR, kitchen, your laundry area, garage. Call 215-572-8942 85xx Mansfield Ave. 2BR/1BA $750+ utils. $1500 move-in, 2nd flr. LR, DR, kitchen, your laundry area, off street parking. Call 215-572-8942

1414 W. 71st Ave 1br $625, 2br $800 both incl utils. Close to trans & shopping.

215-574-2111 66xx N. 2nd St. 2BR/1BA $750+utils.

Your laundry area, storage area, garage. $1500 move-in. Call 215-572-8942

20XX Orthodox 1br $550/mo. spacious, painted, sec8 ok 267-230-2600 42xx Frankford Ave Effic. $425 2nd flr., $1000 move in. 484-450-6553

48xx Hutchinson St.

51xx N. 11th 1BR $550 Meticulously renovated. Call James at 215-455-5843

341 E. Louden 2BR $700 1st floor. Call 215-290-3192 5458 N. 5th St. 2BR $590 newly renov, avail now, 215-768-8410 60XX Warnock 1 BR $595+ nr Fernrock Train Station,215-276-8534

4400 Frankford Ave Efficiencies $500+ 1mo sec dep, newly renov 215.760.9248 5000 Penn St. Lrg 1 and 2 BR newly renov, lic #584090, 215-525-5800

6806 Ditman St 1BR on site parking, laundry 215-525-5800 Lic# 212704 Delaire Landing Condo 1BR $950 + utils. With all amenities, den. Avail. April 1st. 1st, last, sec. Call 215-355-5025 Lansdowne 2BR $800+, fresh paint, c/a, ht, W/D hookup 610-626-2208

Upper Darby - 438 Long Ln. 1BR/1BA $550 Sec. 8 welcome Chester - 2209 W. Third St. Large 4BR/2BA $900. Newly renov. Sec. 8 welcome. Call 610-772-3220 Upper Darby - 440 Long Ln. 2BR/1BA $750 Sec. 8 welcome Chester - 233 Ivy St. 2BR/1BA house $550 Sec. 8 welcome. 610-772-3220

53xx Girard Ave: 1 room, $100-$110/wk.

Lrg clean Furn. Call (215) 917-1091

1547 S. 30th St. furn, fridge, $125 week; $375 move in. no kitchen. 215-892-7198 18TH & SUSQUEHANNA bright, roomy, nicely furnd rms.Dominick 215-880-5486 2435 W. Jefferson St. Rooms: $375/mo.

Move in fee: $565. Call 215-913-8659 25xx Seltzer - Rooms for rent, SSI ok, utils. incl. Call 267-702-7927 4508 N. Broad St. Rooms: $375/mo.

Move in fee: $565. Call 215-913-8659 55/Thompson deluxe quiet furn $115$145wk priv ent $200 sec 215-572- 8833 64th & Haverford Ave. near Drexel Hill shared kitchen starting at $110/wk Call 215-678-9476 N. Phila., West Phila. furn rooms Starting at $100/wk per room 267-228-1143 652 Brooklyn St. furn, fridge, $125 wk; $375 move in. no kitchen. 215-892-7198 Allegheny $90/wk. $270 sec dep. Near EL train, furn, quiet. Call 609-703-4266 Broad/Olney furn refrig micro priv ent $115/$145wk sec $200 215.572.8833

Bryn Mawr Suburbs, Serene, a/c, Cable, Near Trans, no kitch or laundry, No Smoke. $425/mo. Call 610-525-5765

Frankford, nice rm in apt, near bus & El, $300 sec, $90/wk & up. 215-526-1455 Germantown Area: NICE, Cozy Rooms Private entry, no drugs (267)988-5890 Germantown, furn., good loc. clean, quiet reasonable, 12-8p. 215-849-8994 LaSalle Univ area $125/week Renov furn rooms 215-843-4481 Near Broad & Roosevelt Blvd. MOVEIN NOW $580. CLEAN Furn. ROOMS- 2 left. Pay Rent May 1st $530.

Call Al 267-235-6555 N. Phila. $110 - $115/wk., furnished. Call 267-581-8081 N. Phila - $75 & up, SSI & Vets+ok, drug free, Avl Immed. 215-763-5565

N. Phila newly renov, quiet, furn, proof of income, $110-$125/wk. 215-303-7658 SW Philadelphia $250 to move in.

Share kitchen & bath. 267-251-2749 Temple Univ. vic. $350/mo. Util incl, kit access. Call Tasia/Shawn 215-327-6638 University City/Logan - Large, furnished, cable, $110-$125/wk. 609-526-5411

homes for rent

18xx Hart Ln. 3BR/1BA $600 No pets. Sec. 8 ok. Call 215-559-9289 E. Shiller 3BR $725+utils.

Row House. Call 201-321-0543 Frankford/Allegheny 2br/1ba $600+util 2 story Row, renov., washer/dryer. side yard, sec 8 ok, 2 mo sec 215-888-8662 Ontario St. 3BR $800+utils.

Renovated, large. Call 201-321-0543 16xx Filmore St. 3br Newly renov, sec. 8 ok. 215-669-1304 PHILA 4BR/ 2BA Section 8 ok. 215-322-6086

14xx S. Etting St. 3br $725 Fresh paint, Sec. 8 ok. 267-230-2600 14xx S. Marston St. 3br/1ba $750 sec 8 ok, nw carpets, bsmt. 267.970.8632

1326 N Alden St. Open 3/23 12:30p-4p.

4br, 1.5ba, fin bsmt, $900. 267-972-6665 16xx S. 52nd St. 3Br/2Ba $845+utils newly rehabbed, Sec 8 OK. 215-651-8757 2BR & 3BR Houses Sec. 8 Welcome

Beautifully renovated Call (267)981-2718

45 N. Edgewood St. 3BR/1BA Very ncie, hdwd, ceramic tiles, front porch, fenced in backyard. Sec. 8 ok. Call 1-877-371-7368 58xx Sansom 4BR/1BA Sec. 8 ok, newly renov. C/A, D/W, W/D, W/W. Call 215-668-9954

5xx N. 58th St. 4BR/2BA Sec. 8 ok. Call for details 610-626-7002 Chestnut / Redfield 3BR Xtra clean. 215-471-1314 / 215-605-5227

89xx Dewees 3br/2.5ba $1350 + utils. Call 215-888-3010 MAYFAIR 3BR/2.5BA $1250+utils Close to transp. / shops, full bsmt. Avail.

April 1st. Call 215-694-4089 NE Phila.

1BR & 2BR $625 + utils Beautiful apartment, A/C, avail. immed., Call 609-408-9298 Torresdale Area 2BR $770+ dplx, frsh paint, w/d, fridge. 215-416-0066

MT. LAUREL 3BR/2.5BA TH $1700 In Stonegate Dev. Newly renov., frsh paint, new appls., no pets/smoking, avail. April 15th. Call Days 856-2340064 or Evenings 215-579-8868

automotive Ford Fusion 2009 $14,000 Sport app pkg, 1 owner, 856-589-4584 Mercedes Benz C280 2007 $21,5 0 0 obo. Metellac dark blue, 30k, gar kept many upgrades, exc cond 267-738-2991 Toyota Corolla LE 2001 $6,000 hunter green, 40K mi. 706-207-8777

ADOPTION

Are you pregnant? A happily married couple seeks to adopt.

Will be hands on Mom and devoted dad. Financial security.

Expenses paid. Christa & Paul.

1-800-936-1631.

Public Notices

West Phila 1br- 6br $800+ Sec. 8 housing. w/w, h/w, w/d, Call 267-773-8265

W. & SW Phila 2br-3br Houses $700-$900. 1st/last/sec. 215-878-2857

63xx Girard Ave. 3BR/1BA $800 Move-in cond. 2mo. rent & 1mo. sec. Call 215-879-5834

$1175

26TH & LEHIGH 2BR row, $495/mo.

Avail April 1st.

215-701-7076

3xx W. Somerville 3br/1ba $1050+ Large rehab twin, hdwd flrs, new kitchen, bath, windows. Call (215) 651-7435 5938 Malta St. Northeast, 3 BR, 1.5 BA, exe cond, finished bsmt, no pets, $850+ Jimmy 215-920-8397

60xx N. Camac St. 4BR/1.5BA $1,400 +utils. Sec. 8 ok. Call 215-264-2340

41xx N. Franklin 3br/1ba Renov, sec. 8 ok. 267-230-2600

A1 PRICES FOR JUNK CARS FREE TOW ING , Call (215) 726-9053

low cost cars & trucks Buick LeSabre 1991 $1850 Low miles, inspected. (610) 667-4829 Cadillac 1998 4 door Deville, $3,975 woman driver, like new, 67,000 ORIGINAL MILES, garage kept. Carol 215-627-1814 Chevy Astro 2003 Mini cargo van Fully equip, AC, light commercial $3985 Corporate disposal. 215-922-2165

Dodge Caravan 1999 $1,650 all pwrs, 97K, runs excel, 215-620-9383 Dodge Ram 3500 2003 $4500 Runs & looks like new, 96K mi . 609.234.7536 Ford Crown Victoria LS 2003 Luxury 4 dr, absolutely perfect, senior citizen, must sac today! $4950. Call 215-922-5342

Ford F-150 XLT 1992 $1,450 4x4, auto, A/C, long bed, 215-620-9383 Lexus ES 300 1998 $3,495 black, 4 door, auto. Call 610-213-2758 Pontiac Montana 2003. $2500 obo.

Cold air, runs exc, V6, 484-363-9311

59 E. Garfield 3BR/1BA $900 + utils Lg., remod, twin, sec 8 ok 215-499-2364

Saturn SC1 1995 $1,150 5spd, 38MPG, cln, insp. 215-620-9383

from Home. *Medical *Business *Criminal Justice, Hospitality.

Job placement assistance.

Computer available. Financial Aid if qualified. SCHEV authorized. Call 800-481-9472. HYPERLINK http.// www.CenturaOnline.com. www/CenturaOnline.com REGULAR MASSAGE THERAPY

Special Price! $45/hr. Call (215)873-4835. 1218 Chestnut St.

FAMILY COURT FOR THE STATE OF DELAWARE NOTICE OF FAMILY COURT ACTION

hip, forward-thinking consumers across the U.S. When you advertise in alternative newspapers, you become part of the local scene and gain access to an audience you won’t reach anywhere else. http://www. altweeklies.com/ads

To: Keith Brown, Respondent.

Petitioner, Division of Family Services has filed a Dependency/Neglect petition against you in the Family Court of the State of Delaware for Kent County on 7/17/12. If you do not file an answer with the Family Court within 20 days after publication of this notice, exclusive of the date of publication, as required by statute, this action will be heard in Family Court without further notice. If you wish to be represented by an attorney in this matter but cannot afford one, you may be entitled to have the court appoint an attorney to represent you for free. For more information, contact the Clerk of the Court at Family Court.

SAWMILLS from only $3997MAKE MONEY & SAVE MONEY with your own bandmill-Cut lumber any dimension. In stock ready to ship. FREE info & DVD: www.NorwoodSawmills.com/ 300N 1-800-578-1363 Ext. 300N.

Show Us Your Philly.

Submit snapshots of the City of Brotherly Love, however you see it, at:

citypaper.net/ photostream

Business Opportunity REACH 5 MILLION

PennSCAN NOTICES

Pursuant to @128.85 of the Pennsylvania Department of Agriculture Title 7 Regulations, GROWMARK FS, LLC. hereby gives notice of ground application of “Restricted Use Pesticides” for the protection of agricultural crops in municipalities in Pennsylvania during the next 45 days. Residents of contiguous property to our application sites should contact your local GROWMARK FS, LLC. facility for additional information. Concerned citizens should contact: Michael Layton, MGR> Safety & Environment, mlayton@growmarkfs,com GROWMARK FS, LLC. 308 N.E. Front Street, Milford, DE 19963. Call 302-422-3002

jobs

HELP WANTED DRIVER

Help Wanted HELP WANTED

AREA CLAIMS WRITER/ DAMAGE CONSULTANT. Background and home inspection, Real Estate, Property Preservation or PNC license a Plus. Send resume/brief work history. Email: scrrm123@ gmail.com HELP WANTED

Heavy Equipment Operator Career! 3 Weeks Hands on Training School. Bulldozers, Backhoes, Excavators. National Certifications. Lifetime Job Placement Assistance.

VA Benefits Eligible! 1-866362-6497.

HELP WANTED DRIVER

CRST offers the Best Lease Purchase Program! SIGN ON BONUS. No Down Payment or Credit Check. Great Pay. Class-A CDL required.

Owner Operators Welcome!

Call: 866-403-7044.

HELP WANTED DRIVER

Driver-Daily or Weekly Pay. $0.01 increase per mile after 6 and 12 months. $.03/mile Enhanced Quarterly Bonus.

Requires 3 months OTR experience. 800-414-9569 www. driveknight.com HELP WANTED DRIVER

Drivers-CDL-A $5,000 SIGNON BONUS For exp’d solo OTR drivers & O/O’s. Tuition reimbursement also available!

New Student Pay & Lease Program. USA TRUCK 877521-5775 www.GoUSATruck. com HELP WANTED DRIVER

Exp. Reefer Drivers:GREAT PAY/Freight lanes from Presque Isle, ME, Boston-Lehigh, PA.. 800277-0212 or primeinc.com HELP WANTED DRIVER

GORDON TRUCKING, INC..

C D L - A D r i ve r s N e e d e d !

NEED CLASS A CDL TRAINING? Start a CAREER in trucking today! Swift Academies offer PTDI certified courses and offer ‘Best -In-Class” training. *New Academy Classes Weekly *No Money Down or Credit Check *Certified Mentors Ready and Available *Paid (While Training with Mentor) Regional and Dedicated Opportunities *Great Career Path *Excellent Benefits Package.

Please Call: (866) 271-7613.

HELP WANTED DRIVER

Owner Operators: $3,000 Sign-On Bonus. Excellent Rates & Paid FSC. Home Daily.

80% Drop & Hook. Great Fuel & tire Discounts. L/P available.

CDL-A with 1 year tractor-trailer experience required. 888703-3889 or apply online at www.comtrak.com HELP WANTED DRIVER

Pyle Transportation needs owner Operators!! Containerized Pier Operations! Jersey & Philadelphia. Average $1.85/Mile. Requires 2-Yrs. OTR Exp. Call Dan @ 888477-0020 Ext. 7 or apply: www. driveforpyle.com

real estate

³

Land/ Lots for Sale LAND FOR SALE

Lake Sale, NY: 5 acres Salmon River Lake $29,900. 7 acres 100’ on bass lake $39,900.

8 acres Waterfront Home $99,900. Local Financing Available. www.LandFirstNY.com 1-888-683-2626.

Resort/ Vacation Property for Sale VACATION RENTALS

OCEAN CITY, MARYLAND. Best selection of affordable rentals. Full/partial weeks. Call for FREE brochure. Open daily.

Holiday Real Estate.1-800-6382102 Online reservations: www. holidayoc.com.

³

rentals

HELP WANTED!

Make extra money in our free ever popular homailer program, includes valuable guidebook! Start immediately!

Genuine! 1-888-292-1120 www.easyworkfromhome. com $$$HELP WANTED$$$

Apts for Rent 2BR1BA $795 NE PHILLY 19114

2nd floor duplex. 2156516524 Available now SOUTH PHILADELPHIA TOWNHOUSE FOR RENT

Extra Income! Assembling CD cases from Home! No Experience Necessary! Call our Live Operator Now! 1-800-4057619 Ext. 2450 http://www. easywork-greatpay.com

All new at 3rd and Porter.Three bedrooms, beautiful hardwood floors, granite kitchen and bath. $850/month. 215-292-2176

PAID IN ADVANCE

Roommates

Paid in Advance! MAKE up to $1000 A WEEK mailing brochures from home! Helping Home Workers since 2001!

Genuine Oppor tunity! No Experience required. Start Immediately! www.mailingstation.com

ALL AREAS-ROOMATES. COM

Browse hundreds of online listings with photos and maps.

Find your roommate with a click of the mouse! Visit: http://www.

Roommates.com.

lulueightball

By Emily Flake

63

55xx Ardleigh 3br/1ba Renov, sec. 8 ok. 267-230-2600

ATTEND COLLEGE ONLINE

³

P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R | M A R C H 2 1 - M A R C H 2 7 , 2 0 1 3 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T |

W Phila. Beaut newly renovd 3BR. New kit, roof, crpt $880+utils 215-290-9828

ANY CAR/Truck. Running or Not! Top Dollar Paid. We Come to You! Call for Instant Offer. 1888-420-3808 www.cash4car. com

Become an Aviation Maintenance Tech. FAA approved training. Financial aid if qualified-Housing available. Job placement assistance. CALL Aviation Institute of Maintenance 888-834-9715.

SAWMILLS

GMC 2002 G3500 14ft HiCube deluxe box truck $6975/OBO AC dual rear wheels Quick private sale. Call 215-922-5342

CASH FOR CARS

Business Services Adoptions

AIRLINE CAREERS

Philadelphia 3BR Section 8 approved 215-843-4481

Overbrook Park 3BR Call 610-642-5655

market place

³

classifieds

Wynnefied Area - Furnished room, W/D, $125/wk. Call 856-287-7070

Temple Road 3BR/2.5BA $1,250/mo. off street parking, laundry rm, fin. bsmnt, newly remodeled. Call 215-783-3418

...$3,000 SIGN ON BONUS...

Refrigerated Fleet & Great Miles! Pay Incentive Benefits! Recruiters available 7 days/wk! TeamGTI.com EOE 866-554-7856.

the naked city | feature | a&e | the agenda | food

apartment marketplace

Automotive Marketplace

billboard [ C I T Y PA P E R ]

MARCH 21 - MARCH 27, 2013 CALL 215-735-8444

Village Belle Restaurant and Bar

As the season changes, stop in to see our spring selections and menu.

Let us handle your holiday needs as we celebrate with an Easter buffet thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s sure to please 757 South Front St Corner of Fitzwater Street in Queens Village 215-551-2200 www.thevillagebelle.com

Building Blocks to Total Fitness

OVER 200 REVIEWS FROM THE PHILADELPHIA AREA

FROM THE FINEST TO THE MOST AWFUL WWW.PHILLYRESTAURANTREVIEWS.COM

Sexual Intelligence

Guaranteed-quality, body-safe sexuality products, lubricants, male room, sex-ed classes, fetish gear, Aphrodite Gallery SEXPLORATORIUM 620 South 5th Street www.sexploratoriumstore.com

12 Years of experience.

Offering personal fitness training, nutrition counseling, and flexibility training. Specialize in osteoporosis, injuries, special needs. In home or at 12th Street Gym. MCKFitness@yahoo.com

757 south front street, at fitzwater. 215-551-2200 www.thevillagebelle.com

WHATâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S ON DRAFT AT THE WATKINS DRINKERY?

RIVER HORSE DOUBLE WIT THOMAS HOOKER IRISH RED SUMMIT MAIBOCK OLD DOMINION ESPRESSO STOUDT TROEGS NUGGET NECTAR FOUNDERS CENTENIAL IPA ALL THAT AND MORE AT THE WATKINS DRINKERY IN SOUTH PHILLY! CORNER OF 10th & WATKINS

LAS VEGAS LOUNGE

1132 S 9th St Fri Mar 22 9PM The Rivals, Study Electricity, Dead Flowers(mbrs of PawnShop Roses) $5

Vendor Space Available Consignment Marketplace 4001 Main St., Manayunk 215-298-9534 Good traffic Good parking - Low rent Great opportunity for small creative retailers

TEQUILA SUNRISE RECORDS

Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s true! Theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re here and delivered daily!

1356 North Front Street 215-634-6430

PRIVATE PARTIES & GIFT CERTIFICATES

Connies Ric Rac

All Styles All Levels.

Former Berklee faculty member.

Masters Degree with 27 yrs. teaching experience.

215.831.8640 www.myphillyguitarlessons.com

A \R Ab >VWZO >O ' $ # ' & %% eee aS``O\]^VWZZg Q][ 4OQSP]]Y aS``O\]^VWZZg

SUN BRUNCH 10:30-3:30

FREE PIZZA! $2 BEER OF THE WEEK! $2 WELL DRINKS! ITâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S AMAZING! PASSYUNK AVE (7th & CARPENTER) 215-465-5505 myspace.com/thedivebar

STUDY GUITAR W/ THE BEST David Joel Guitar Studio

LE BUS Sandwiches & MOSHEâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S Vegan Burritos, Wraps and Salads Now Available at the EL BAR!

LUNCH SAT 11-4,

HAPPY HOUR AT THE DIVE

TOP PRICES PAID. No collection too small or large!

We buy everything!

Call Jon at 215-805-8001 or e-mail dingo15@hotmail.com

AS`dW\U c^ ^S`TSQbW]\ T]` & gSO`a

DINNER TUES-THURS 5-10, FRI-SAT 5-11,

Serving 20 oz Drafts, NOT 16.

SIZE DOES MATTER. 704 Chestnut Street 215-592-9533 www.LasVegasLounge.com

I BUY RECORDS, CDâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S, DVDâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S

525 West Girard Ave VINYL AND CD SPECIALISTS CLASSIC & MODERN GLOBAL SOUNDS HOUSE TECHNO DUBSTEP DUB DISCO FUNK SOUL JAZZ DIY PUNK LSD ROCK AND LIGHT HARMONY ROOTS BLUES NOISE AVANT AND MORE TUESDAY-SUNDAY 12-6PM 01-215-965-9616

village belle

AWARD WINNING, WORLD FAMOUS CUSTOM STUDIO ARTISTIC TATTOOING!

Philadelphia Eddies 621 Tattoo Haven 621 South 4th St (Middle of Tattoo Row) 215-922-7384 Open 7 Days

SEMEN DONORS NEEDED

Healthy, College Educated Men 18-39 ~ $150/Sample WWW.123DONATE.COM

HAPPY HOUR AT THE ABBAYE $2 OFF ALL DRAFTS $3 WELL DRINKS $5 HAPPY HOUR MENU Only at the Abbaye 637 N. 3rd Street (215) 627-6711 www.THEABBAYE.net

Azuka Theatre Presents Everyone and I 3/28 - 4/7 @ Off-Broad Street Theater www.azukatheatre.org

7&3: (00% â&#x20AC;&#x153;..#&&3 -*45 )"4 (308/ 50 &1*$ 1301035*0/4 ,*5$)&/ )"4 "%%&% "/ &953" #&-- 8*5) 1&3)"14 5)& $*5:µ4 #&45 '3*5&4 40.& 45&--"3 #&&3 #"55&3&% '*4) "/% 7&3: (00% .644&-4³ Craig LeBan, Philadelphia Inquirer, Revisited April 2007

(*'5 $&35*'*$"5&4 "7"*-"#-&

#%( 5:7EF@GF EF B:;>367>B:;3 $#' &#% #+#* D7E7DH3F;A@E 3F,

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