Philadelphia City Paper, April 18th, 2013

c typaper [ P H I L A D E L P H I A ]

³

FOOD | A Room with a (stylish) view

NEWS | Trees that might make you blush MUSIC | The valley of Woe

P H I L A D E L P H I A’ S I N D E P E N D E N T W E E K LY N E W S PA P E R

April 18 - April 24, 2013 #1455 |

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Publisher Nancy Stuski Editor in Chief Theresa Everline Senior Editor Patrick Rapa News Editor Samantha Melamed Arts Editor/Copy Chief Emily Guendelsberger Digital Media Editor/Movies Editor Paulina Reso Food Editor/Listings Editor Caroline Russock Staff Writers Ryan Briggs, Daniel Denvir Assistant Copy Editor Carolyn Wyman Associate Web Producer Carly Szkaradnik Contributors Sam Adams, A.D. Amorosi, Rodney Anonymous, Mary Armstrong, Meg Augustin, Justin Bauer, Shaun Brady, Peter Burwasser, Ryan Carey, Mark Cofta, Jesse Delaney, Alison Dell, Adam Erace, M.J. Fine, David Anthony Fox, Michael Gold, K. Ross Hoffman, Brian Howard, Deni Kasrel, Gary M. Kramer, Drew Lazor, Gair â&#x20AC;&#x153;Dev 79â&#x20AC;? Marking, Robert McCormick, Andrew Milner, Annette Monnier, Michael Pelusi, Elliott Sharp, Tom Tomorrow, John Vettese, Julia West, Brian Wilensky Editorial Interns Naveed Ahsan, Dotun Akintoye, Jessica Bergman, Marisa Denker, ZoĂŤ Kirsch, Kelly Lawler, Joseph Poteracki, Sameer Rao, Marc Snitzer Production Director Michael Polimeno Editorial Art Director Reseca Peskin Senior Designer Evan M. Lopez Editorial Designers Brenna Adams, Matt Egger Staff Photographer Neal Santos Contributing Photographers Jessica Kourkounis, Mark Stehle Contributing Illustrators Ryan Casey, Don Haring Jr., Joel Kimmel, Cameron K. Lewis, Thomas Pitilli, Matthew Smith Human Resources Ron Scully (ext. 210) Circulation Director Mark Burkert (ext. 239) Senior Account Managers Colette Alexandre (ext. 250), Nick Cavanaugh (ext. 260), Sharon MacWilliams (ext. 262), Stephan Sitzai (ext. 258) Account Managers Sara Carano (ext. 228), Jonathan Morein (ext. 249), Donald Snyder (ext. 213) Marketing/Online Coordinator Jennifer Francano (ext. 252) Office Coordinator/Adult Advertising Sales Alexis Pierce (ext. 234) Founder & Editor Emeritus Bruce Schimmel

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contents The immortal life

The Naked City .........................................................................6 Arts & Entertainment.........................................................24 Movies.........................................................................................35 The Agenda ..............................................................................38 Food & Drink ...........................................................................46 COVER ILLUSTRATION BY EVAN M. LOPEZ DESIGN BY RESECA PESKIN

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naked

the thebellcurve

city

CP’s Quality-o-Life-o-Meter

[ + 1 ] Commissioner Charles Ramsey says that

20 percent of the Philly Police Department’s tips come from social media. “And the rest are usually tucked into our belts or delivered in a ‘make it rain’-type fashion.”

[ + 2 ] City Council contemplates “gentrifica-

tion tax relief” to help keep longtime residents from getting priced out of their neighborhoods due to property-tax reform.

Basically, if you see some grad student in skinny jeans or high-waisted shorts, you can demand a dollar.

[ + 1 ] ViaductGreene, the group working to turn

the Reading Viaduct into a park, changes its name to Friends of the Rail Park. “We came across the old name on Urban Dictionary.

That shit is nasty,” explains spokesperson.

“And yes, we are aware of what ‘rail parking’ is and we’re cool with it.”

[0]

SEPTA operating budget director Frank Gormley says, “We believe the new fare system will be widely embraced by our customers.” Adding, “And if they don’t, they can take PATCO right the fuck on out of the city.”

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[ + 1 ] Two new boat cruises will soon launch on

the Schuylkill: “Different Night, Different Lights” and “Secrets of the Schuylkill.” If those do well, other cruises may be added that don’t involve a whole bunch of strangers doing acid and fucking each other up and down the river.

[0]

Police say the woman who claimed to find a baby behind a house in North Philly is actually the child’s mother. Now she’s really glad she found it.

[ + 1 ] A homeless man turns himself in to police after a North Philly woman releases a photo she took of him robbing her house. “I just really wanted a copy of that photo,” he says. “It’s a good look for me. Standing in a house.”

[ + 4 ] The new Jackie Robinson biopic 42 doesn’t

pull punches in dealing with the Phillies’ racist history. And somewhere, deep in South Philly, an otherwise well-meaning Mummers captain gets a terrible, terrible idea.

This week’s total: +10 | Last week’s total: 0

EVAN M. LOPEZ

[ vernal emissions ]

CUM OF THE EARTH Spring is in the air — and, in Philly, that’s not always pleasant. By Emily Guendelsberger

“

T

hose nasty trees are out again — the ones that smell like … ” Natalie Guertler of Merchantville, N.J., can’t quite bring herself to finish the sentence, as she takes a break from a recent evening class at the Portside Art Center in Port Richmond.

But before long, Guertler has launched into one of the many inevitable odor-related conversations taking place this time of year, as the area’s thousands of Callery pear trees go into full bloom.

“That smell like … poo?” someone asks. No, she says. “Like bathroom smells?” No, but closer. “Like men and women sex smells?”

Third time’s the charm.

“The second you walk out of my front door, it hits you. There are all these white flowers, and you open the door and think it’s going to be pleasant — and it’s just not,” Guertler says. “My daughter was like, ‘What is that smell? This is nasty!’ I said, ‘Just you wait.’”

To be less tactful — in fact, to completely abandon tact — the flowers smell like jizz. And in the first weeks of spring, when the hundreds of Callery pears around the city develop thousands of flowers, every other block of Center City smells like a bukkake bacchanal.

But that aroma is insignificant compared to many more serious problems of the Pyrus calleryana — one of several notably smelly trees that lack of understanding or faulty planning brought to Philly’s streets centuries ago.

“It’s pretty much agreed in the horticultural world that it’s not a good tree to plant any longer. But back in the day, it was thought to be the ideal tree,” especially for cities, says Mindy Maslin, project manager for the Pennsylvania Horticultural Society’s Tree Tenders program.

It’s easy to see why: Very few types of trees can even survive city conditions, and Pyrus calleryana isn’t just one of the toughest (in fact, it’s the lone “survivor tree” that made it through 9/11 to live on at the World Trade Center site in New York), it’s also one of the prettiest. There are the early flowers, and glossy leaves that turn vivid yellows and reds in the fall and are some of the last to drop to the ground. It grows fast. Its roots are shallow. Its branches grow straight up into a neat, symmetrical egg shape, so it can be planted near buildings.

It gets tall enough for shady sidewalks and street parking, but not tall enough to screw up power lines.

The height of the tree’s popularity in the ’60s was around the same time that Center City was being torn up and reshaped to accommodate the expressway. Pyrus calleryana were planted by the hundreds, in particular one especially vertical subspecies, the Bradford pear.

The problems didn’t become clear until decades later, when large pieces of those trees started crashing down onto cars and houses.

“They’re a gorgeous tree, but very weak-wooded,” says Maslin. As all those Bradfords planted in the ’60s matured, it became very clear that as they grew, they developed a tendency to “split and lose large

“Horticulturalists agree: It’s not a good tree.”

>>> continued on page 8

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[ a million stories ]

✚ SECURITY EXCHANGE Last Friday at 11 a.m., a small crowd gathered outside the University of Pennsylvania’s College Hall, where President Amy Gutmann’s office is located. The rally marked the anniversary of a vote by 72 Penn security guards employed by AlliedBarton to join the Philadelphia Security Officers Union (PSOU). A year later, the guards still have no contract. Despite a drenching rainstorm, the guards and their supporters in the Student Labor Action Project repeated chants targeted at both Penn and AlliedBarton.

Armed with a bullhorn and powerful lungs, shop steward Colin Koch bellowed, “I’m going down to Amy’s, to get back what she stole from me — to get back my dignity!”

The guards, who patrol Penn’s campus, playing fields and surrounding neighborhoods, were set to meet with AlliedBarton again on Wednesday, April 17. But the guards didn’t believe the company was taking their efforts to organize seriously; they were hoping pressure from the university administration might help. “They set up the [April 17] meeting as soon as we set the rally up. But it’s been a year. [We want Penn to] urge Allied to take care of this situation and take it more seriously and respect their employees — make them speed the process up,” says Terrell Rivers, a guard who demoted himself from a managerial position to join the union.

“It’s not about getting meetings, it’s about getting things done.”

Penn insists it has no say in the matter. “Penn plays no role in [guards’] hiring or terms of compensation,” says Ron Ozio, a spokesperson. The guards are seeking better health care, higher wages, improved equipment and the reinstatement of a colleague who quit a management post to join the union and was since demoted.

AlliedBarton spokesperson Samantha Thomas will say only that the

company “remains hopeful to reach a final agreement with PSOU.” If not, Koch promises that the guards will return for weekly Friday-morning protests until they have a signed contract. “We will be back again, and again, and again.”

—Jake Blumgart

… gives it away

UP THE WALL

✚ UNFAIR SEX At age 56, Kathy Padilla is 16 years late for her first mammogram.As a transwoman on a hormone regimen, she believes she may be at high risk for breast cancer. On the other hand, her father died of prostate cancer, for which men but not women are normally screened. “So I have to sit there and say, ‘Which one do I choose?’” Her insurance, she says, “won’t cover both.”

New draft legislation being considered in City Council would, among other things, require an end to exclusions of sex-specific treatments for transgender people in non-union, city-run health plans. “Philadelphia would be the largest city in the country to remove this from its employee health-care plan,” says Padilla, a longtime transgender advocate and a city employee.

Nurit Shein of the Mazzoni Center told City Council at a hearing last week that “sweeping” exclusions often force transgender people to pay out of pocket “for the same medically necessary services that are offered to non-transgender people,” from pelvic exams to the same hormones used to treat endocrine disorders.

The bill was introduced by Councilman Jim Kenney (who was immediately accused of attempting to pad his resume for a 2015 mayoral bid), and proposes $4,000 tax credits for “willing” businesses that choose health-care plans that don’t have transgender exclusions, or that treat LGBT life partners the same as heterosexual married couples. Kenney noted that a different >>> continued on page 10

hitandrun ³ news in brief

THE FEMINIST CRITIQUE ³ WHEN THE GREATER Philadelphia Tourism Marketing Corporation (GPTMC) ran

an ad reading, “Dear Walking This Way, I like the way you move it move it. With love, Philadelphia, XOXO” last year, Rochelle Keyhan of the anti-street-harassment organization HollabackPhilly was frustrated. After all, the billboard-size catcall was perpetrating just the type of speech her group had been combating. So, HollabackPhilly began developing its own ads, raising $1,000 to run spots on SEPTA trains this month.

But, just as GPTMC probably did, Keyhan has learned that just about any ad can be offensive, depending on the audience. “There’s a lot of conversation about how we’re trying to police compliments, that we’re killing social interaction,” Keyhan says. “But now at least they’re thinking about what a compliment is” — and that, as one ad notes, “nice ass” is not one. Others complain the ads don’t go far enough, citing one that asks: “In a perfect world, what would your sister/daughter/girlfriend hear as she walks onto the subway?” and offers options ranging from “Hey sexy” to “Good morning.”

Hollaback’s Anna Kegler says the ad gave her pause because it implied a question: “Do women need to have a relationship with someone to be seen as human and treated with respect?” But it also “resonated with the most people.” Much of this feedback has been online, where the ads have gone viral. The local impact is unclear, since the ad run is limited: $1,000 doesn’t buy much SEPTA real estate. But Keyhan says it’s just a start. “People still don’t know what street harassment is,” she says. “One of our goals was to get people to start recognizing the term.”

—Samantha Melamed

³ THE LONG-AWAITED INQUIRER.COM

and PhillyDailyNews.com are online this week, liberating the dailies from the bikini-and-gossipcoated digital stinkpit of Philly.com and locking content behind pay walls, where readers will finally have to pay for it. Sort of. Philly.com, which like the papers is owned by Interstate General Media (IGM), continues to provide the dailies’ print content for free. When management made the newsroom announcement, some reporters were stunned — and, being reporters, started asking hard questions. “That was very different from what we’d been told in the early days of the run-up, which was that Philly.com might take ‘some’ stories but other copy would be ‘teased’ or hidden behind the pay wall,” says one newsroom source. “What was the point of the pay wall if people could one way or another find the stories for free?”

The pay-walled sites, says management, are for people who want the “newspaper experience.”While younger people who’ve never had the “newspaper experience” might not want to pay for it, management contends it will better serve committed readers. “Philly.com will continue to have the discretion to feature content from [the papers],” says IGM spokesperson Mark Block. But “the only online destination for finding all of the daily stories … will now be on the pay sites.” Readers clicking through to a pay-walled article from Twitter or Facebook will be encouraged to subscribe — and then redirected to the article on Philly.com if they do not.

It’s possible Philly.com, headed by Lexie Norcross, daughter of IGM co-owner George Norcross, flexed its muscle to avoid losing content to a pay wall. But it could also be simply a way for IGM to mitigate the risk that ad-viewing readers driven from Philly.com might simply refuse to pay. After all, while pay walls are the latest experiment sweeping cash-strapped papers, they have not in all cases been successful.

IGM publisher Bob Hall, according to one source, cited the Boston Globe’s anemic web growth — following its 2011 decision to move most content off Boston.com and behind a pay wall — in defending the Philly.com content free-for-all. Northeastern University journalism professor Dan Kennedy says he is “skeptical” about the Globe’s strategy, which “seems geared toward the idea that readers can be forced to pay — and that’s almost never true.”

The Globe this week took the lead in covering the horrific marathon bombing, and put that reportage in front of its pay wall. It’s a testament both to a daily’s unparalleled local resources and to what’s at stake as those papers struggle for survival.

—Daniel Denvir

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H O L L A B A C K P H I L LY

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<<< continued from page 6

limbs.” They were becoming a huge source of property damage. The Bradford was removed from city planting lists around 15 years ago, Maslin estimates.

New cultivars were developed that didn’t have the Bradfords’ problem of occasionally dropping large parts of themselves onto houses and cars. But that sparked the second problem of Pyrus calleryana.

Because it’s a non-native species from Asia, Pyrus calleryana was bred to be sterile — a cutting from the first tree became the second tree, and so on, until the streets were lined with clones. Since cultivars of Pyrus calleryana can reproduce only with a genetically different tree of the same subspecies, the assumption was that they couldn’t spread. But, as Jeff Goldblum once said, life finds a way.

“What wasn’t anticipated,” says Morris Arboretum botanist Ann F. Rhoads, “was that several cultivars of Callery pear on the market would cross-fertilize and produce fruit with viable seed, and those seeds are now sprouting Callery pears everywhere. It has become a major invasive weed.” Indeed, the National Park Service pulls no punches in their guide to invasive species: “Do not plant Callery pear or any cultivars including the well-known Bradford pear.

Seedlings and shallow-rooted plants can be pulled when soil is moist. Medium to large trees should be cut down and stumps treated with a systemic glyphosate or triclopyr-based herbicide.”

What about the, uh, smell? Was that a factor in their losing favor? Says Maslin, “I don’t think it has anything to do with the smell, they’re just not safe.”

“I never noticed that they smell bad,” says Rhoads. “But the odor of flowers is not for our pleasure and enjoyment; it evolved in connection with pollinators. That smell undoubtedly is meant for certain kinds of flies and bees that might be attracted to putrid things.”

Speaking of putrid things, Philadelphia is ground zero for two other smelly trees originally from Asia that manage to reproduce despite Jurassic Park odds — both Ailanthus altissima and Ginkgo biloba were brought to Philly by William Hamilton in 1784. Ailanthus altissima, aka “Tree of Heaven,” gained fame in A Tree Grows in Brooklyn — but it’s not nearly as charming as the book might suggest. Sure, it can grow pretty much anywhere, but it’s also an incredibly invasive weed, also known as the “stink tree” for the rotten-peanut-butter smell when it flowers in June. As for ginkgo, it produces truly disgusting-smelling squishy seeds beginning in late September. (“My undergraduate botany professor described it as smelling like ‘rotten dog vomit,’” Rhoads laughs.) Since ginkgos are gendered — there are male and female trees, and seeds appear only when both are present — it seemed safe to plant just the male trees created by grafting. “But sometimes the graft doesn’t take in the nursery, and a female plant slips through,” says Rhoads.

But for now, if you smell something … powerful, it’s probably the Callery pear.

On a stretch of Fairmount Avenue lined with Pyrus calleryana, a surprising half of the people going into a coffee shop on a Saturday afternoon say they never noticed the scent. Those who have

are split about how to describe it. About half look embarrassed and decline to answer; others appear to get lost in thinking through it aloud.

“I don’t know how to describe it,” says a young man with gauges in both ears. “Like … a mouth, maybe? A mouth smell?”

“They don’t smell, they stink!” says the female half of a fortysomething couple in sunglasses.

“I’d say it’s … really … musty?” hazards her husband.

“They just smell kind of awful — this happens every April,” sighs one pregnant woman. “It’s not anything I can … ” her husband pauses. “It’s, like a, almost … kind of a sweet … a rotting sweet smell?”

“Like jizz mixed with typical flower smell,” says one brave man, whose girlfriend says they’d just been joking about this.

“Is it, like, a mouth smell, maybe?”

The sunglasses-wearing man emerges from the coffee shop first, and, as he waits for his wife to join him, asks what I think the trees smell like. I blush, my confidence battered by an hour of evidence that the smell of Pyrus calleryana in bloom is not an obvious, universal truth. But I’ve been asking strangers awkward questions all afternoon. The least I can do is answer honestly.

“Maybe it’s one of those things — like, once someone says it, you can’t unsmell it? But I think it smells like … uh, it smells … like semen.” I blush even more.

But he bursts out laughing. “Oh my God, it kind of does!” His wife comes out, giving him a curious look, and as they walk off he seems to be explaining something. About halfway down the block, in the shade of a big Callery pear, she stops, turns, and shoots me a thumbs-up, yelling, “You’re totally right!”

Good luck unsmelling it, Philadelphia. (emilyg@citypaper.net)

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[ the naked city ]

â&#x153;&#x161; a million stories

<<< continued from page 7

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â&#x20AC;&#x153;I want to see Sen. Williams do the Gangnam Style.â&#x20AC;? slate of equality legislation he â&#x20AC;&#x153;naivelyâ&#x20AC;? introduced in the 1990s didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t pan out, instead turning â&#x20AC;&#x153;into a dramatic reality show.â&#x20AC;? This time around, the Greater Philadelphia Chamber of Commerce supports the tax credits. Asked if theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d support it without that financial aid, Chamber spokesman Joe Grace admitted, â&#x20AC;&#x153;The tax credit was an important part of our calculus.â&#x20AC;?

For Padilla, it doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t require much calculus, or even basic algebra.The situation now, she says, is â&#x20AC;&#x153;untenable.â&#x20AC;? Sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d have to leave her union to join a newly nondiscriminatory city-run health-care plan. â&#x20AC;&#x153;But if it came to a choice between being part of a union, which I support greatly, and having decent health care â&#x20AC;&#x201D; I know which

choice Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll make.â&#x20AC;?

â&#x20AC;&#x201D;Samantha Melamed

â&#x153;&#x161; TRASH MOB For five hours Saturday, Philly residents rolled up their sleeves and did the dirty work of picking up trash from streets, sidewalks and parks as part of the annual citywide cleanup. For about an hour of that, volunteer cleaners in South Philly

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had company: State Sen. Anthony Williams

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and Rep. Jordan Harris stopped by to join students in doing the Harlem Shake before a small media turnout. A

reporter didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t observe the politicians doing any actual sweeping themselves; Williams said he saw his role more as one of motivating Philly youth. â&#x20AC;&#x153;We want to attract kids in a positive way,â&#x20AC;? he explained, â&#x20AC;&#x153;to talk to people on their level.Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s how you become civically engaged.â&#x20AC;?

Zykeim James, 14, heard about the attempt to go viral from his grandfather, former state Rep. Harold James of the 186th District, in whose footsteps Zykeim hopes to follow one day.

Williamsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; dance skills, Zykeim said, were â&#x20AC;&#x153;pretty good.â&#x20AC;?

Harris said the idea was all Williamsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;, explaining that he â&#x20AC;&#x153;likes to be creatively young

at times.â&#x20AC;? He said there were calls for an encore: â&#x20AC;&#x153;I want to see Sen. Williams do the Gangnam Style.â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x201D;Naveed Ahsan

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KING OF PONG

How a Drexel professor turned a skyscraper into an Atari.

……Fri., April 19 and Wed., April 24, 8 p.m., free, Philadelphia Art Museum terrace, 2600 Ben Franklin Pkwy., phillytechweek.com. For video of the test run, check citypaper.net/pong.

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on Versus mode: trash talk, laughter, groans of defeat, shouts of victory.

The idea came to Lee while driving down I-76 in 2008. Before long he was calling people he knew who might know someone connected to Cira Centre owner Brandywine Realty Trust. “Because I figure once they hear the idea, I’ll get a call the next day, right?” Lee laughs, as his students battle it out nearby. “It’s so obviously great! You don’t even need to describe it: world’s biggest Pong!”

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rank Lee: He doesn’t give a damn.

That’s not just a silly pun: The dude will not be deterred. Some people, when they hear a grandscale idea involving months of hard work for a couple hours of transcendent glory — like “Pong on the side of a 29-story building,” in this case — immediately say, “Oh hell yeah!” Just as many people, though, if not more, respond, “…What? Why?” People of the first type rarely convince people of the second to hand over the keys to one of their building’s computer systems on the argument “Because it will be awesome.” It took five years, but Lee managed it: A lucky 150 people drawn from a lottery of 1,100 will get to play Pong on the Cira Centre on April 19 and 24 as part of Philly Tech Week. And, frankly, it looks pretty awesome.

The controllers are set up on a Schuylkill-facing terrace of the Art Museum, half a mile away. At a recent test run, the speakers that will eventually blare the bloop of a bounce and the digital sad-trombone of a miss were still in the planning stages, but the game sounded very familiar anyway. Remove the soundtrack, and a group of guys playing Pong on a building across the river sounds exactly the same as a group of guys playing Halo

E M I LY G U E N D E L S B E R G E R

by Emily Guendelsberger

In 2010, Lee finally managed to get a meeting with someone at Brandywine who let him check out the lighting system, in part, perhaps, so he’d stop asking about it. “I said, ‘Look, if I could determine that there’s no way I can control the lights, then it’s a moot point, I can’t make a game, I’ll go on my merry way.’” But Lee was encouraged by what he found.

The building’s lights were installed between floors about 10 feet apart in a grid. “There’s this system that looks like a cube,” Lee holds his hands about 2 feet apart, “with an Ethernet cable coming out to the controllers of those lights. … The key part of that is each of those lights is on its own little IP address, and you basically send commands to it from its own private network.” He realized it would be possible, then, to unhook that Ethernet cable and plug the lights into his own system.

“So I went back and I said, ‘In theory, it’s possible.’ And [the Brandywine rep] thought about it, and he said, ‘You know, Pong is an old game. Why would anyone care?’” Lee pauses to let that statement sink in. “I was flabbergasted! I tried to convince him that people would care because it’s Pong — Pong is a cultural milestone. Everyone has heard of Pong! People who have never played Pong have heard of Pong, because it’s such a core part of our technology history.” That first attempt was a nonstarter, but Lee wasn’t giving up.

See, in 2008, he had also begun another project that he says was actually easier to get off the ground: Lee co-founded and co-directs Drexel’s interdisciplinary video-game-design program, which, after its first year, has consistently been ranked among the top 10 such undergraduate programs in the country by the Princeton Review. In July 2012, Lee and four students went to Sydney, Australia, for the finals of Microsoft’s Imagine Cup, where the Drexel team’s MathDash mobile app for kids took first place in game design. The win resulted in a congratulatory meeting with the president of Drexel University — who happened to be good friends with the CEO of Brandywine. Needless to say, Pong came up in conversation.

After a bunch of emails and a 20-minute meeting only about three months ago, Lee finally got the go-ahead. “And once the top person says yes, everything falls into place.”

Most of Lee’s students, some of whom helped with the project and are loudly trash-talking in the background, grew up with the PlayStation 3. “They don’t have the nostalgia. But I’d put this game up against any other game. As you play it, you feel that tense engagement, right?” The howls of defeat and laughter erupting behind him back him up. “The competition: That’s universal.” (emilyg@citypaper.net)

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Where to geek out in the coming weeks.

Philly Tech Week: April 20-27, phillytechweek.com. > Philadelphia Science Festival: April 18-28, philasciencefestival.org.

GAMING AS THERAPY: A PATHWAY TO INTERACTION Video games raise a lot of sketchy connotations among non-gamers; must be all the loud noises and graphic violence. Everybody seems to forget about their therapeutic qualities. Dain Saint (of local indie game studio Cipher Prime) teams up with Craig Newschaffer (founder of the A.J. Drexel Autism Institute) and medical illustrator Amanda Almon to discuss how video games can improve social and interactive skills in autistic children and adults. There will be plenty of time to play some games, too, courtesy of Cipher Prime.

—Marc Snitzer Fri., April 19, 6 p.m., $10, Academy of Natural Sciences, 1900 Ben Franklin Parkway, 215-299-1000, ansp.org.

to believe in a bit of magic.

—Shaun Brady Sat., April 20, 11:30 a.m., free, The Franklin Institute, 222 N. 20th St., 215-448-1200, fi.edu.

HARDWARE FREEDOM DAY Georgia Guthrie, director of the Hacktory, has a bold rallying cry: “If you can’t fix it, you shouldn’t own it!” Stirred?

Then Hardware Freedom Day is for you. “Anyone who has gotten frustrated with a phone or computer [should attend], if you want to modify it to make it work better.”

Will I learn to replace the data port on my Pre? “We won’t teach that specifically, but the workshop will be led by former head software engineer from Makerbot 3D printing Far McKon, so we can point you in the right direction.”

—Mary Armstrong

JAMES RANDI: SCIENCE, PSEUDOSCIENCE AND NONSENSE: A CLARIFICATION

MARTIN DEE

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CAN’T FIGHT THE FUTURE

Sat., April 20, 11 a.m.-3 p.m., free, University City Science Center, 3711 Market St., 215-650-7295, hardwarefreedomday.org, thehacktory.org.

SCIENCE CARNIVAL

might be safe to say that the sometimes-maligned and misunderstood art of stuffing and mounting animals has reached its peak of mainstream fascination. The Wagner Free Institute has been on the taxidermy game for more than a century now, though, displaying over 100,000 specimens, so it’s only natural they host “Skinned, Stuffed and Mounted.” Expert Rachel Poliquin (pictured) will discuss the history and significance of taxidermy, while local artist Beth Beverly demonstrates exactly how to take up the hobby yourself. Not for the squeamish.

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—Joe Poteracki Sun., April 21, 2 p.m., $10, Wagner Free Institute of Science, 1700 W. Montgomery Ave., 215-763-6529, wagnerfreeinstitute.org.

HALLUCINOGENIC HEALTH

No one can shatter an illusion quite like an illusionist.

As a gifted magician and escape artist, The Amazing Randi built his career on making people believe what they thought they were seeing; as one of the world’s leading skeptics and debunkers, James Randi has dedicated his life to helping people truly see what they thought they believed. Randi drew his most famous line in the sand nearly 50 years ago, offering $1,000 to anyone able to demonstrate psychic ability. The award has since grown to $1 million, but the line remains uncrossed.

He’s the only MacArthur “genius” to have slipped out of a straitjacket over Niagara Falls, built a guillotine to take Alice Cooper’s head off on a nightly basis, and made Uri Geller squirm on Johnny Carson’s Tonight Show as a tableful of spoons remained unbent. Following in the footsteps of Houdini and paving the way for Penn & Teller to call bullshit, Randi exposes psychics and charlatans who prey on his very public: those who’d like

The jumbonium jewel in the Science Fest’s atomic tiara is always the carnival. This year the Parkway will be teeming with family-friendly fun like liquid-nitrogen ice cream, live zoo animals, all kinds of hands-on experiments and, if the press photos are any indication, lots of dedicated Star Wars cosplayers.

—Patrick Rapa Sat., April 20, 11 a.m., free, Ben Franklin Parkway between 20th and 22nd streets, philasciencefestival.org.

SKINNED, STUFFED AND MOUNTED Now that reality shows about competitive taxidermy are a thing — have you seen AMC’s Immortalized? — it

Lysergic acid diethylamide sounds like a perfectly reasonable prescription to bring down to Rite Aid, right? Oh wait, that’s LSD. For more than 40 years, LSD and similar hallucinogenic drugs have been on the no-fly list, limiting science’s totally far-out exploration of their medical and therapeutic benefits. For this presentation, the Franklin Institute’s Adam Piazza and UPenn doctoral student Matthew Young will explore the history of psychedelic medicine and consider how hallucinogenic research might expand in the future, provided that The Man doesn’t kill the mood first.

—Marc Snitzer Sun., April 21, 4 p.m., free, Frankford Hall, 1210 Frankford Ave., 215-634-3338, frankfordhall.com.

SCIENCE ON TAP QUIZZO What good is sitting in on Science Fest’s various demos and discussions if you can’t show what you’ve learned (while buzzed)? Science on Tap — the local nerd herd >>> continued on page 22

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known for its boozy, brainy monthly get-togethers at National Mechanics — will host its third annual Science Quizzo showdown. As always, they wecome all comers.

Find out which of your friends subscribe to PLOS ONE and r/astrophys and assemble a team, but be warned: The Tapsters have the home-ice advantage.

DEVELOPING PHILLY

season one trailer at developingphilly.com.

—Joe Poteracki Wed., April 24, 6:30 p.m., free, Venturef0rth, 417 N. Eighth St., 215-995-6889, venturef0rth.com.

CAVECAST 006: TURNTABLISM

—Patrick Rapa

Every month, Brian Cassidy — of Philly’s Universal Cave DJ collective — sets up shop at Art Alliance to record his CaveCast music podcast live in front of an audience.

Each episode has a theme; for Tech Week, Cassidy and his guest, Vincent Smaldone, aka DJ Image, will discuss the art and science of turntablism, from the earliest scratchers to today’s mixmasters, and the tools they use. Expect a live demonstration and audience participation. BYO booze, records and notebooks.

—Sameer Rao

Mon., April 22, 6 p.m., free, National Mechanics, 22 S. Third St., 215-701-4883, nationalmechanics.com.

COMBAT ROBOTICS DEMO History has shown that humans are really into watching things fight each other in enclosed spaces (especially other humans). Obviously, forcing our mechanical offspring into combat is a natural and awesome continuation of this base urge, as proven by television classics like BattleBots and its British ancestor Robot Wars. And here comes Hive76 — Philly’s collective space for builders, hackers and general DIYers — to enhance the experience by inviting regular folks to take the reins of four remotecontrolled robots for an evening of synthetic violence.

The demo serves as a preview for an upcoming class on how to build and customize a ’bot as well as a primer on mechanized combat strategy and, presumably, showboating. “Are you not entertained?” a robot will hopefully cry out, its magnetized death clamps raised high.

—Marc Snitzer

Wed., April 24, 9 p.m., $5 suggested donation, Philadelphia Art Alliance, 251 S. 18th St., 215-545-4302, philartalliance.org.

ASTRONOMY NIGHT Did you see the Northern Lights the other night? I didn’t see shit. But I’m expecting cooler, more distant cosmological attractions from Astronomy Night, wherein wondering eyes can take a peek through telescopes set up all over the area at museums, cemeteries, parks and the good ol’ Battleship New Jersey.

—Patrick Rapa

Fri., April 26, 6-9:30 p.m., free, various locations, philasciencefestival.org.

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PHOTO BY NEAL SANTOS

Tue., April 23, 5 p.m., free, Hive76, 915 Spring Garden St., hive76.org.

Remember the “brain drain”? That’s what they used to call it when our young tech people and entrepreneurs were leaving town to find success (or, at least, jobs). Over the past several years, however, Philly has been experiencing something of a tech renaissance, with the rise of umbrella groups like Technically Philly fostering an increasingly vibrant community of innovative startups. Enter Developing Philly, a new web series documenting the rise of Philly tech and the passion that sustains it. The first two episodes will premiere at Venturef0rth, followed by a Q&A with co-producers (pictured above, from left) Maurice Gaston and David Dylan Thomas. Ask them how Philly stopped draining its brains. Meantime, you can watch the

ADOP

ME

CELIA!

T

1-2 YEARS OLD I’m Celia, a 1-2 year old calico who’s looking for a home. I was found as a stray in Nicetown, then rescued

by PAWS. I’m a curious girl who likes to explore my surroundings before settling in for petting and cuddles.

I could live with other animals if you have them. Please come meet me at PAWS’ Adoption Center!

Located on the corner of 2nd and Arch.

All PAWS animals are spayed/neutered, vaccinated, and microchipped before adoption. For more information, call 215-238-9901 ext. 30 or email adoptions@phillypaws.org

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Registration any time and also Saturday, 5/11 from 9am to 12 noon.

CPEVENTSLIST

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icepack

By A.D. Amorosi

³ “IT’S CERTAINLY THE dirtiest thing that I’ve

ever written.” That’s what Philly playwright/screenwriter Bruce Graham says about his new North of the Boulevard, which opens April 18 at Theatre Exile’s Studio X.Graham is renowned for cuttingly conversational plays (The Outgoing Tide,Coyote on a Fence), Philly-accented dialogue (Any Given Monday) and giddy screenplays (1996’s Dunston Checks In comes to mind) and TV scripts (the Andie MacDowell potboiler Cedar Cove will debut in June; he’s visiting the set up in Vancouver right this second). In the last month, Graham witnessed some cheers and sneers following the announcement that he’s been commissioned to script a play for Theatre Exile based on Rizzo: The Last Big Man in Big City America, penned by ESPN’s Sal Paolantonio.

“I’m overwhelmed we’re getting this publicity for a piece we haven’t started working on,” says Exile’s producing artistic director Joe Canuso.“If people are interested in Graham, they should come to The Boulevard, as it has a lot to say about changing neighborhoods such as, where we’re doing the play.” Graham agrees with a big laugh: “It’s giving Boulevard a flock of publicity.” He points out that the theater at 13th and Reed used to be a garage — perfect for his story based on Jay’s Auto, near MacDade Boulevard. “We’ll even have a real old car parked onstage at Studio X with the garage door open. The actors [such as Scott Greer] enter from the street. Kids run by. Ambulance sirens blare.

That’s the best sound design money can’t buy.” ³ Call it a culinary end-of-days: Georges Perrier may actually retire. The signs? Le Bec Fin’s gone.

Bitar’s is buying the Art of Bread café to develop breads and pastries. And now I hear that Georges on the Main Line will soon sell. Perrier’s cigars and his cheffing will be missed. ³ Powelton Village’s finest, the Tiberino family of artists, will unveil their kinda-sorta-controversial city-centric mural along the walls of the Municipal Services Building at 1401 JFK Boulevard on April 24. Sure, Joseph and Gabriele’s mural is all about Philly’s neighborhood city-scape, but peer deep into its colorful crevices and you’ll find subtle criticisms about race relations, religion, city government and more.“The Mural Arts folks usually don’t allow things that truly make a statement,” says the elder Tiberino. “This time they did.” ³While Bart Blatstein starts work on his new nest on Rittenhouse — all 8,600 square feet of it — the chunk of the Piazza in NoLibs that he sold off toIvanka Trump’shubbieJared Kushner (owner of the New York Observer) is filling up with fun stuff, like Brooklyn Flea, the very best outdoor foodie market any New York City borough has to offer.

That’ll start on Sun., June 2. ³ For more Icepack, flee to citypaper.net/criticalmass. (a_amorosi@citypaper.net)

PENNSYLVANIAN HUNGER: “I’m fucking done with it. That’s how this album starts,” says Woe frontman Chris Grigg (foreground).

[ black metal ]

DESTROY EVERYTHING The Philly/NYC metal band Woe has an audacious agenda. By Elliott Sharp

I

“

’m a big fan of misdirection,” says Chris Grigg. The 28-yearold vocalist-guitarist of black metallers Woe is talking about the title of his band’s second album, Quietly, Undramatically (2010). It’s not quiet; it’s not undramatic. Listening to it feels like being bashed in the head for 40 consecutive minutes, and then dragged into a nightmare. And then tossed into the apocalypse.

And then barbecued in hellfire. Deafeningly, Histrionically would’ve been a much more fitting name. But atop Grigg’s remarkably exhaustive “THINGS TO DESTROY” list are every last one of your expectations.

Woe plays a similar prank with the first song on its new album, Withdrawal, out next week via Candlelight Records. The sonically violent ode to the dissolution of absolutely everything is called “This Is the End of the Story,” and it’s a mighty audacious way to kick things off. But beginning with the end is the only way the album could begin. “It’s all about moving on, giving up and starting over,” says Grigg. “So proclaiming, ‘This is fucking it!’ was necessary. If I wanted to be really pompous, I’d call the song ‘Raison D’être.’”

He pauses for a second to laugh at his own pretentious joke.

“It’s over,” he continues. “It’s finished. I’m moving on. I’m fucking done with it. That’s how this album starts.”

Grigg, a New Jersey native, was living in Philadelphia when Woe’s first full-length album, A Spell for the Death of Man, was released in 2008. Back then, Woe was just him, alone, in a miked room full of instruments and agony. “So bleak it is that nothing will escape,” he shrieked on that album’s opener, “Solitude.” By the time Quietly, Undramatically arrived two years later, Grigg had assembled a touring band, and Woe was a trio. On “No Solitude,” that album’s opening song, Grigg growled, “Again I see your face and now I know you’ll never leave.”

The faces of Woe have changed. The current lineup is Grigg, guitarist Ben Brand (Tombs), bassist-vocalist Grzesiek Czapla (ex-Infernal Stronghold) and drummer Shawn Eldridge (Disma).

(Ruston Grosse is the drummer on Withdrawal.) “We’re still trying to get away from the idea that Woe is me,” says Grigg. “We’re almost a real band, but not quite. I wanted Withdrawal to be more of a collaborative effort, but it unfortunately didn’t work out that way.”

Time and space disrupted the plans. Grigg was offered a job soon after Quietly, Undramatically dropped, so he relocated from Philadelphia to Brooklyn in 2011. But the rest of Woe was still in Philly, so Grigg mostly wrote alone. With the exception of the music for “Ceaseless Jaws” and parts of “Exhausted,” he wrote all the music and the lyrics. The new album was mastered by Colin Marston (Krallice, Dysrhythmia), but the recording and production credits belong to Grigg.

Listening to it feels like being bashed in the head.

>>> continued on page 26

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[ canoodling couples in a former no-man’s land ] ³ CHEF WALTER STAIB

Writer-director Anisa George concocts a fascinating adventure based on conversations with women about reproduction in Animal Animal Mammal Mine (through April 20). We’re embraced by a dizzying variety of fascinating images, actions and sounds, most showing low-tech innovation — Martha Posner’s wearable sculptures, an on-stage glacier, the giddy thrill of actresses singing while circling the audience on bicycles.

The appearance of a harpist in colonial gear was a portent of the dire things to come in A Taste of History (April 13): City Tavern chef and PBS host Staib’s slow-roasted, live, period-dressed chat with birthday boy “Thomas Jefferson” and his Founding Father foodie pals. The culinary information culled from Staib’s television program of the same name was solid, but putting him on stage with wigged cornball reenactors — and a microphone headset that made him look like Tony —A.D. Amorosi Robbins in chef whites — did no one any favors. ³ AARON CROMIE AND GWEN ROOKER

Cromie as ringmaster Charlie Sparks leads an earnestly charming troupe in The Trial of Murderous Mary, ripped from the (1916) headlines. Mary, the elephant in a traveling circus, panics during a parade in a small coal-mining town. Whipped into a frenzy, the mob’s ignorance and ugliness are portrayed via clever songs, vivid caricatures and shadow puppets. The facts of Mary’s trial (yes, they prosecuted an animal in court) and her cruel fate make for a story that feels contemporary: Media exaggeration, mob panic and inhumanity —Mark Cofta to animals are far from extinct.

flickpick

—Mark Cofta

³ CFEVA

James B. Abbott’s photography in “Berlin: Landscape of Memory” follows the

city through 20 years of transformation with modest-sized landscapes that have an emotional heft usually reserved for portraits. Sections have a before/after theme: a beach club filled with canoodling couples sits in a former no-man’s land, a McDonald’s has sprouted next to Checkpoint Charlie. Another section mixes disparate images that suggest how much Berlin has stayed the same.

—Paulina Reso ✚ These are just a few excerpts from our ongoing, comprehensive festival coverage; find more reviews, photos and videos at citypaper.net/PIFA.

[ movie review ]

SIMON KILLER

The movie’s title looms over each interaction.

Best use of a creepy/greasy synth in years. ³ IT’S A SHAME that the term “pop music” has become synonymous with “bubblegum music” and “utter crap.” Back before the Earth’s crust cooled, long before Bruno Mars ever approached a microphone or the members of One Direction were introduced to the concept of puberty, “pop” meant pleasant, well-written, well-produced music. Pop wasn’t interested in landing on a movie soundtrack, picking up a Grammy or selling berths on cruise ships. It was just there to be enjoyed.

IAMX’s The Unified Field is an excellent pop record in the proper use of the word. The opening track, “I Come with Knives,” is so addictive that DEA agents are likely to confiscate your MP3 player if they catch you nodding rhythmically. “Quiet the Mind,” with its wonderful opening lyrics — “There was light before the rain began / And there was hope behind the suffering joke” — is mournful, haunting and impossible to stop humming once you’ve heard it.

“The Adrenalin Room” is both strangely psychedelic and curiously danceable. “Under Atomic Skies” has the best use of a creepy/greasy synth you’ve heard in years.

Even if the occasional track doesn’t quite live up to the promise of its siblings (“Sorrow” and “Animal Impulses,” for example), it’s not because the song itself is bad — you can still hear the craftsmanship and innovative instrumentation. It’s just that the other tracks are so damn good.

Verdict: Thank you, former Sneaker Pimp Chris Corner, for forsaking your old life of pimping young, naive sneakers, and for taking the time to make a great pop record. (r_anonymous@citypaper.net)

✚ IAMX

The Unified Field (61SECONDS)

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AMERICAN PSYCHO: Simon (Brady Corbet), a cute but creepy recent college graduate, moves to Paris, where he gets involved with a prostitute (Mati Diop).

THE UNITED KINGDOM!

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[ B+ ] ANTONIO CAMPOS MADE one of the new millennium’s more striking debuts with 2008’s Afterschool, a YouTube-era rewrite of Michael Haneke’s Benny’s Video.

So when Simon (Brady Corbet), a recent college graduate who’s fled to Paris after a traumatic breakup with his long-term girlfriend, tells his French cousin he studied “the relationship between the eye and the brain,” you brace for another filmic essay on the link between vision and violence, alternately alienating and scolding. But when Simon explains the subject of his thesis again, a deliberately confounding tangle of words that always ends with a question mark — “It’s called size-pooling?”

— it starts to seem like a red herring, or else a link to something he himself fails to understand. Like Afterschool’s Robert (Ezra Miller), Simon is cute but creepy, striking the wrong notes in social encounters and sometimes withdrawing into a low, guttural moan.

The only relationship he can keep up is one with a prostitute named Noura (Mati Diop), who takes him in after he picks a fight with a group of street toughs and loses everything he has. He makes himself useful to her, hatching a plan to blackmail her johns — using video recordings, of course — but his twitchy affect and the second half of the movie’s title loom over every interaction. Campos elides crucial interactions — sometimes allowing, even forcing, misperceptions to bloom in their place — and lingers on wordless moments like a red-drenched shot of Simon dancing to LCD Soundsystem’s “Dance Yrself Clean.” Those who know the song’s structure will be ready for it, and him, to explode; you dread it, but you expect it. Diop, making her first feature since Claire Denis’ 35 Shots of Rum, exudes a native grace and sensuality, but Corbet puts everything in quotation marks: The character is tough to watch, and sometimes so is he. —Sam Adams

aidorinvade Rodney Anonymous vs. the world

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✚ Destroy Everything <<< continued from page 24

“What I really wanted was for everything to rock hard. That’s our job: to rock.”

Even though Withdrawal mostly originates in the mind of Grigg, it’s a staggeringly diverse album. It shows Woe voyaging farther away from black metal’s blackened shores than it ever has before. Breathless density and unappeasable hatred remain at the core of Woe’s being, but the band provides glimpses of new shores: the tranquil drone that shatters the terror of “Carried

by Waves to Remorseless Shores of the Truth.”

The melodic interlude that unexpectedly arrives in the middle of “All Bridges Burned,” as if the bridge-burner paused halfway to rejoice in his decision. The album’s final minutes, where Woe delivers the slowest and most beautiful music it has ever created.

Most intriguing is Grigg’s vocal pluralism: He growls, he grunts, he screams, he even sings. When these voices meet on “Song of My Undoing,” it produces a conversational feel, as if various perspectives on tragedy and decay are unfolding. Such diversity isn’t the norm for black metal. Times are changing, as the old guard withers away, but purists may claw their heads a few times while listening to Withdrawal.

[ arts & entertainment ]

“The rules of black metal are very rigidly imposed by fans and bands,” says Grigg.

“Everyone thinks the vocalist should sound like this and not like that. These rules do a disservice to everyone, and to the music. If someone says we’re not black metal, that’s fine. I’m not interested in arguing semantics anymore. I prefer to do whatever works in the best interest of the song.”

“What I really wanted,” he continues, “was for everything to rock hard. That’s our job: to rock. Black-metal bands have gotten too far away from that, and they’ve lost focus. They can be awesome musicians and do all kinds of crazy shit, but they need to fucking rock, too. I just want people to fucking headbang.” (e_sharp@citypaper.net) ✚ Sit & Spin Records hosts a listening

party for Woe’s Withdrawal Sat., April 20, 2 p.m., 1346 S. Ninth St., 267-7738345, sitandspinrecords.blogspot.com.

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³ WHO EXACTLY IS an “outsider” artist? The common answer might be “Someone who has no formal training as an artist,” often with the additional fact that the work was discovered after the person’s death. “Outsiderism,” Fleisher/ Ollman Gallery’s inaugural exhibition at its new space on Arch Street near 12th, however, addresses the complexities of being a contemporary outsider artist, raising some issues that expand the category’s definition and at times probing the integrity of the genre.

For instance, can a living artist whose work is being sold in galleries truly still be considered an outsider? Is all art made by a person with a mental illness outsider art, or can someone with autism create “insider” art? How “outside” does an artist need to be? Do you have to be a janitor or live by yourself in the woods, or can you hang out with a group of friends who went to art school?

These questions are not just rhetorical, since their answers could potentially be worth many art dollars. Fleisher/Ollman has built its reputation as a gallery on selling the work of self-taught artists since 1952 (two decades before the term “outsider art” was coined), and the category sells well, the demand having spawned the creation in 1993 of the Outsider Art Fair in New York City to market the work. Indeed, “outsider artist” can mean many things, and the popularity of the work has expanded the field.

The exhibition at F/O presents great works of art and interesting artists, cementing the gallery’s reputation for quality.All the artists in the exhibition are alive and currently making work. (In contrast, “Great and Mighty Things,” the exhibition of outsider art currently at the Philadelphia Museum of Art, takes the more traditional approach of including mostly dead artists.)

In “Outsiderism,” artists like Gregory Blackstock, an autistic savant and retired dishwasher who creates picture-lists from memory, fit the outsider stereotype; Paul Laffoley, an architect who received formal training at both Harvard and Brown and was part of the team once hired by Andy Warhol to watch TV in shifts around the clock, has a complex history as a rule-

bender that makes him a hard man to fit into any category.

Michael Patterson-Carver, who creates straight-on pencil and watercolor views of protests and civil-rights struggles, was discovered selling his artwork outside a Trader Joe’s in Portland by fellow exhibitor Harrell Fletcher. The lone “insider” artist in “Outsiderism,” Fletcher has become a bit of a celebrity, having had exhibitions and New York and London and selling his artwork to art-world stars like Cindy Sherman.

A major theme in the exhibition is the emergence of organizations to help artists with intellectual disabilities by providing studio space or exhibit opportunities.

Four artists in the show come from Arts Projects Australia, an organization that’s been advocating for artists with intellectual

How “outsider” does an artist need to be? disabilities since 1974. One artist, Knicoma Frederick, works with the Creative Vision Factory in Wilmington, Del., which opened in 2011; and a video created by Fletcher and Chris Johanson was made in collaboration with David Jarvey of Creativity Explored, a disabled-artist support organization based in San Francisco.

In the midst of this diversity, there is no denying that work labeled “outsider” still holds a common thread. In crude terms, outsider art ignores established rules of good taste and craft in favor of expressing something of personal importance to the maker. It often looks as if the adult who created it somehow managed to never grow up.

The childlike wonder on display is mostly overwhelmingly optimistic, and that sentiment tends to spread to the viewer. (annette.monnier@citypaper.net) ✚ Through June 8, Fleisher/Ollman

Gallery, 1216 Arch St., fifth floor, 215545-7562, fleisher-ollmangallery.com.

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KILLER QUEEN

science,

art , & history

GEEKS MEET?

Coloratura Rachele Gilmore on the highs of opera performance. By Emily Guendelsberger

R

achele Gilmore recently posted a picture of herself (right) in her Queen of the Night costume on Twitter with the caption “First attempt at making the mean scary Queen face. I’m not sure it was a total success ;) #magicflute.” Her debut with Opera Philadelphia this week in The Magic Flute, which runs April 19 to 28, is the first time she’s ever sung the famous Queen of the Night arias — the role requires both the rage-face of a Disney villainess and lots of fast, incredibly high notes that only a few singers, called coloratura sopranos, have the physical ability to pull off.

Gilmore’s voice is high even for a coloratura — she astonished Met audiences in 2009 when, as an understudy called up with only a few hours’ notice to step into the whiz-bang role of wind-up doll Olympia in Les contes d’Hoffmann, she whipped off a cadenza ending in a seemingly effortless high A-flat, the highest note ever recorded on that stage. Video of her performance — complete with audible gasps from the audience and a full minute of wild applause — went viral on YouTube. Gilmore, who lives in Cherry Hill when she’s not on the road singing, spoke with City Paper.

MIRROR MIRROR: Rachele Gilmore practices her mean face for her Philadelphia debut as the Queen of the Night in The Magic Flute.

City Paper: So what are you doing to conjure up the mean scary

CHRIS SEMBROT

Queen face?

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Rachele Gilmore: At first I was a little nervous about it, because I never play characters like this. I always play the ingénue or the comedienne — it’s definitely the first time I’ve played, like, a bitch.

[Laughs.] But it’s actually coming pretty easily, I find! I just try to connect to what she’s saying in the text — like, in the second aria, the famous one, the vengeance aria, the first line is “Der Hölle Rache kocht in meinem Herzen,” which means “The vengeance of Hell is boiling in my heart.” [Laughs.] And even though I’m not a mother and my own mother is perfectly wonderful, I see other motherdaughter relationships where there’s this great amount of disappointment and anger — I try to draw from that.

CP: The Queen of the Night famously has to sing high Fs. How high are they, exactly?

RG: A lot of the time when people think of opera, they think of the high notes; and when people think of high notes, they think of a high C as, like, the highest note or whatever. And this is a fourth above a high C. A lot of coloraturas find this high F particularly difficult because of the approach, and because you have to sing four of them right in a row.

CP: What’s the highest note you’ve ever sung in public?

RG: The highest note I sing in public is the A-flat in the Doll [aria

from Les contes d’Hoffmann], and I’ve sung that several times. It’s not like it’s a sustained high note, so I don’t get stressed about it — it’s at the top of a scale, so it just sort of comes out. In that aria, I tend to get stressed out about different things.

CP: So at the Met performance where you did the A-flat, you

only had to do it for a couple nights. Would you have gone for the super-high note if you’d had to sing that cadenza [a short section within a piece where the composer essentially tells the performer to show off] for the full run of the show?

RG: A lot of people think that note was just something I threw in because it was my Met debut and I wanted to make a good impression or whatever. But those cadenzas in the Doll [aria] are the ones I’ve been doing since I was in my early 20s; those are just the ones that I’m the most comfortable with. When you’re learning a piece that has a

lot of coloratura and cadenzas, you have to kind of work those things into your voice; for me to change the cadenza would have been more dangerous than singing the one with the high A-flat. I did all the cover rehearsals with those cadenzas, they were fine with them.

CP: You had to have at least suspected the YouTube potential.

RG: No! Honestly, I was really young, I was really green, I was

just super excited to be a cover at the Metropolitan Opera. I never thought I would have to go on — I have a lot of colleagues that covered for years and had never gone on. I was really nervous, just thinking, “I really want to get through this!” A lot of the ovation afterwards, I didn’t really realize what was happening because I was just so relieved that the aria was over. And there’s this thing I call a high-note buzz; when you sing something with so many high notes in it, there’s so much blood that goes to your head that you’re kind of in a daze for a few minutes afterward. But once I came out of that, I could feel the appreciation from the audience, and that was cool. But I had no idea that it had even been videotaped; the YouTube thing was a complete surprise to me.

Making the mean scary Queen face ;)

CP: A singer-friend request: Is there a harder word to hit a high

note on than “turtle”?

RG: [Laughs, like, a lot.] Oh my God! Hmm, let’s see ... actually, I

would think that something with explosive consonants would be more difficult. “Turtle,” you’ve still got that nice long U vowel, you can kind of hang out there. Man, I can’t even think of one right now!

CP: Well, will you text if you think of one?

RG: I will, I will!

An hour later, a text arrives: “Twelfths.” (emilyg@citypaper.net) ✚ For the rest of the interview with Gilmore, on bulky costumes, the benefits of dat-

ing opera singers and why comments on classical-music YouTube videos are so weird, plus video of her monocle-dropping high A-flat, go to citypaper.net/arts.

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The Lords of Salem

✚ NEW

THE COMPANY YOU KEEP | C Robert Redford may view The Company You Keep as the next logical notch in his late-career lefty directorial belt, but it meanders into what’s closer to a pseudo-political Wild Hogs, lumping together gracefully aging icons in a manner incongruous with grace. The action actually starts off spirited, with Sharon Solarz (Susan Sarandon) deliberately setting herself up for arrest by FBI stiff Cornelius (Terrence Howard). A nondescript mother to most, we learn that Solarz is a former Weather Underground operative, on the lam for decades for a bank robbery gone bad. Albany beat reporter Ben Shepard (Shia LaBeouf) senses more to the story, leading him to the revelation that well-liked, recently widowed local lawyer Jim Grant (Redford) is actually the assumed identity of Nick Sloan, another infamous

THE LORDS OF SALEM | BIndustrial-metal auteur Rob Zombie has made a surprisingly successful transition to film, but he’s spent most of the last decade rebooting the Halloween franchise, with a pit stop on CSI: Miami. But The Lords of Salem isn’t a return to form so much as to Zombie’s roots, back before the psychotronic splatter that inspired House of 1000 Corpses and The Devil’s Rejects. (There’s even a visual shout-out to George Méliès’ A Trip to the Moon.) In essence, Salem is an updated riff on Village of the Damned, with atmosphere by way of Coffin Joe. The director’s wife, Sheri Moon Zombie, plays a nighttime DJ who receives a mysterious slab of vinyl credited to the titular band; its looping drone instills a sort of hypnosis/possession in all who hear it. When Moon is on the mic with her fellow jockeys, there’s a loving ease to their cross talk, but the movie’s spooky mechanics are flecked with rust. Once the latex wrinkles and witch-trial flashbacks start, any sense of fright goes up in smoke. —SA (Wide release) OBLIVION Read Shaun Brady’s review at citypaper.net/movies.

(Wide release)

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BLANCANIEVES | BAn affectionate homage to both the silent-film era and 1920s Spain, Pablo Berger’s kicky curio restages Snow White in the bullring, with torero’s daughter Carmen (Macarena García) struggling to save her gored papa (Daniel Giménez Cacho) from a scheming nurse (a sublimely camp Maribel Verdú).

Rather than treating silent film as a cutesy curiosity (cf. The Artist), Berger mingles Guy Maddin and Luis Buñuel, especially when Carmen loses her memory and winds up with a circus troupe of traveling dwarves. (Count ’em.) Though it lacks the slick revisionism of Snow White and the Huntsman or the outlandish frippery of Mirror Mirror, Blancanieves outclasses its big-budget quasi-peers — which is not to say it entirely escapes feeling superfluous. Much as it strikes out on its own, it still feels like a clever twist unable to stand on its own. —Sam Adams (Ritz Five)

radical implicated in the crime. As Sloan scrambles to clear his name, tapping into a network of associates that reads like the guest list at Gene Hackman’s last cookout (Stephen Root, Sam Elliott, Richard Jenkins, Chris Cooper, Nick Nolte, Julie Christie), we’re pummeled with dragging dialogue, inessential twists and a preponderance of nostalgic lamentations (“Now, we’re just a story told to children …”). While the concept of cloistered rebels emerging with a shared purpose sounds promising, this is not that, and it doesn’t have much bounce as a straight-up thriller either.

—Drew Lazor (Ritz Five, Rave)

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RENOIR | C+ At its best, Renoir captures that wonderfully inviting feeling of Pierre-Auguste Renoir’s Luncheon of the Boating Party, making you want to inhabit the scene, grab one of those wine glasses and start loafing. A stunningly beautiful film shot in the south of France, most of the action takes place on a lush hilltop overlooking the French Riviera.

The cast spends its time cooking sumptuous food, splashing in streams and lolling around in the nude (the better to be painted by the titular elder statesman of Impressionism, played

by Michel Bouquet). The story tracks Andrée Heuschling (Christa Theret), the painter’s latest model, as she familiarizes herself with his household and, later, with his son Jean (Vincent Rottiers). Theret is a fiery and engaging actress with a fun role, and Rottiers does a fine job as Jean. But the elder Renoir isn’t given much to do but spout platitudes: “The pain passes, but the beauty remains.” Renoir is very pretty, like its namesake’s works, but just as you can choose how long you want to contemplate a painting, at almost two hours in length, there’s a good chance you’ll want to step away from this film.

—Jake Blumgart (Ritz at the Bourse)

SIMON KILLER See Sam Adams’ review on p. 25.

(Ritz at the Bourse)

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✚ CONTINUING

Robinson’s direction. Early in the film, the tense yet muted approach is refreshing in comparison to the constant insistence on inspiration endemic to most hagiographies. But as the Dodgers get closer to the pennant, the tension dissipates and Helgeland’s reserve settles into a tepid simmer. The orchestra ultimately swells and bases are run in ridiculously protracted slow motion, but there are a few unexpected diversions on the way to that inevitable destination. —Shaun Brady (Wide release)

THE CROODS | B DreamWorks was boldly formulaic in hammering together its latest sure-to-be-smash, but it’s amiable and imaginative enough to tickle animation fans of all ages. The Croods follows that clan, hunter-gatherers led by dad Grug (Nicolas Cage), and their ho-hum existence inside a boulder-doored cave. While family members Ugga (Catherine Keener), Gran (Cloris Leachman) and Thunk (Clark Duke) don’t seem disenchanted by their lot, young Eep (Emma Stone) longs to roam. After meeting Guy (Ryan Reynolds), Eep gets her wish, as the family flees lands crumbling from the rapid breakup of Pangaea.

The Croods’ Disney-style believe-inyourself sentiment is spread on quite thick, but co-writers/co-directors Chris Sanders and Kirk De Micco make the most of the prehistoric creative license. —DL (Wide release)

42 | B-

DISCONNECT | C-

Brian Helgeland’s Jackie Robinson biopic is predicated on the baseball legend having, as Harrison Ford’s cartoonishly crusty character puts it, “the guts not to fight back.” That translates into lots of seething in noble silence while racial epithets are hurled in

An overwrought ensemble piece raising alarms over the scariest implications of the digital age, Disconnect combines the “we’re all connected” social tsk-tsking of Crash with the out-of-touch cautionary panic of Reefer Madness and its ilk. In his first

narrative film, documentary director Henry Alex Rubin intertwines storylines involving cyberbullying, chat-room predators, identity theft and exploitative porn sites with all the timeliness of an AOL startup disc.

The film’s one unifying message is a vague call to connect, but it’s delivered with all the emotional heft of a Facebook friend request. —SB (Ritz at the Bourse)

EVIL DEAD | C This Evil Dead is better than the average Hollywood remake of a genre classic, but that faint praise is the best that can be mustered.

There are plenty of elaborately nasty shocks along the way, some of them clever, some just brutal, but simply slathering on viscera isn’t enough to distinguish this from so many other gore fests. Most missed, naturally, is Bruce Campbell’s Ash, the charismatic, acrobatic dolt who battled the undead with a patent disregard for his own body. The remake substitutes Mia (Jane Levy), a junkie holed up in the demon-infested cabin for a cold turkey rehab; not a bad premise, but she’s given only a backstory, not a character, and in the end she’s just another blood-drenched Final Girl.

—SB (Wide release)

run chest-first into oncoming bullets, so he’s forced into a rescue mission when the Koreans shoot up the White House and kidnap the leader of the free world. Especially in the early scenes, director Antoine Fuqua walks a fine line between his usual grit and Stallone-style goofiness; yes, Butler deals out death via a bust of Lincoln, but no, he doesn’t make a presidentially-appropriate quip afterwards.

The result is sometimes mindlessly entertaining, but often just mindless.

—SB (Wide release)

THE PLACE BEYOND THE PINES | B An ambitious drama that hits more than it misses, Derek Cianfrance’s follow-up to Blue Valentine is to 1950s melodrama what Cloud Atlas was to 1950s sci-fi. Opening with an unbroken shot of the tattooed back of Luke (Ryan Gosling) as he moves through a circus and into a motorcycle cage, The Place Beyond the Pines announces itself as a death- or at least convention-defying feat, spanning decades without succumbing to sprawl. When Luke’s circus swings

G.I. JOE: RETALIATION A haiku: Knowing is half the battle. The other half is cold-blooded killing. (Not reviewed) (Wide release)

OLYMPUS HAS FALLEN | C+ Gerard Butler stars as a Secret Service agent pulled from President Aaron Eckhart’s detail after failing to save the First Lady during a car accident. Unfortunately, he was apparently the only agent trained not to

INVITE YOU TO SEE RITZ EAST Monday, April 22 7:30pm

TO ENTER FOR THE CHANCE TO RECEIVE A COMPLIMENTARY PASS, TEXT NECKBONE AND YOUR ZIP CODE TO 43549 (Example Text: Neckbone 19103) THIS FILM IS RATED PG-13. Under 13 requires accompanying parent of adult guardian. No purchase necessary. Texting services provided by 43KIX are free of charge. Standard text message rates may apply. Check your plan. Limit one entry per cell phone number. Late and/or duplicate entries will not be considered. Winners will be drawn and sent a mobile pass at random. Seating is not guaranteed. This film is rated PG-13. Sponsors are not responsible for lost or redirected entries, phone failures or tampering. Deadline for entry is Thursday, April 18, 2013 at 5:00 PM EST.

IN THEATERS APRIL 26 www.Mud-TheMovie.com

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echoes that linger as their sons grow up together. —SA (Ritz East)

STARBUCK | BFrench-speaking slacker David (Patrick Huard) has always made a buck through odd jobs. As a much younger man, that included innumerable donations to the sperm bank he lived next to. After being confronted by an attorney for the lab, he learns that he inexplicably created more than

500 children, 142 of whom have filed a class-action suit to force the man behind the alias “Starbuck” to reveal himself. As raunchy as it could’ve been, director Ken Scott’s approach is not far from the traditional American rom-com, meaning its cornball moments cast off more glare than he probably intends. —DL (Ritz Five)

TO THE WONDER | B through Schenectady, he discovers the previous year’s fling with Romina (Eva Mendes) left him with a son. He turns to crime to support the child, which sets him on a collision course with rookie cop Avery (Bradley Cooper), resulting in an encounter with

No working filmmaker conveys a more palpable sense of the transcendent than Terrence Malick. But To the Wonder is the first time he’s tried to make a movie that’s nothing but transcendence, a string of lyrical images held together by a common sense of ecstasy. The titular “wonder” is Mont Saint-Michel, to which Neil (Ben

In this movie, too. (Not reviewed) (Wide release)

✚ CINEDELPHIA INDEPENDENCE SEAPORT MUSEUM

TRANCE | C+ A cracking thriller built around art auctioneer Simon’s (James McAvoy) convenient amnesia, Danny Boyle’s Trance jumps the rails in the closing stretch. Till then, Boyle is in his element, exercising his showmanship as Simon struggles to recall his part in the heist of a Goya, while art thief Franck (Vincent Cassel) debates whether to let him live. Hypnotherapist Elizabeth (Rosario Dawson) is called in to help Simon navigate the depths of his own mind, and thence it’s never quite clear whether we’re watching what’s happening or what he thinks is happening. —SA (Ritz Five)

TYLER PERRY’S TEMPTATION

531 N. 12th St., 267-519-9651, philamoca.org. Point Break (1991, U.S., 120 min.): The cult classic surfer-crime movie starring Keanu Reeves and Patrick Swayze, paired with a live original score by Bethlehem surf-rockers Great White Caps.

Thu., April 18, 8 p.m. $10. Vanishing Waves (2012, Lithuania, 124 min.): A neuroscientist and his comatose

patient get anything but physical as they develop a psychic relationship.

Fri., April 19, 7:30 p.m., $10. Danger After Dark Retrospective: A celebration of the late-night campy film series. Fri., April 19, 10 p.m., $10.

Termite TV: A 20-year retrospec-

✚ REPERTORY FILM

Free Library, Philadelphia City Institute Branch, 1905 Locust St., 215-685-6621, freelibrary.org. Black Narcissus (1947, U.K., 100 min.):

BRYN MAWR FILM INSTITUTE 824 W. Lancaster Ave., Bryn Mawr, 610-527-9898, brynmawrfilm.org.

Dostoyevsky Man (2012, U.S., 87 min.): Director and writer Larry Loebell will be in the house to discuss his iPhone-shot film. Mon., April 22, 7:30 p.m., $10.50. Come as You Are (2011, Belgium, 115 min.): Three disabled young men Eurotrip it on a quest to lose their virginity. Part of the ReelAbilities Film Festival. Wed., April 24, 7 p.m., $12.

COLONIAL THEATRE 227 Bridge St., Phoenixville, 610-9171228, thecolonialtheatre.com. Five Fingers of Death (1972, Hong Kong, 104 min.): Buried in obscurity by Enter the Dragon, resurrected for your

INVITES YOU AND A GUEST TO AN ADVANCE SCREENING Tuesday, April 23 AT 7:30pm LOG ON TO WWW.CITYPAPER.NET/WIN FOR ENTRY DETAILS TO WIN UP TO TWO TICKETS. Please note: Passes are limited and will be distributed on a first come, first served basis while supplies last. No phone calls, please. Limit one pass per person. Each pass admits two. Seating is not guaranteed. Arrive early. Theater is not responsible for overbooking. This screening will be monitored for unauthorized recording. By attending, you agree not to bring any audio or video recording device into the theater (audio recording devices for credentialed press excepted) and consent to a physical search of your belongings and person. Any attempted use of recording devices will result in immediate removal from the theater, forfeiture, and may subject you to criminal and civil liability. Please allow additional time for heightened security.

You can assist us by leaving all nonessential bags at home or in your vehicle.

Cinema is Jonas Mekas: Friends

it ain’t Biggie, either. It’s Hitchcock.

Sun., April 21, 2 p.m., $9. Trashed (2012, U.S., 98 min.): Got first-world guilt on Earth Day? Double down and take a world tour of the detritus of our excess. Mon., April 22, 7:30 p.m., $9.

FRIENDS OF THE PHILADELPHIA CITY INSTITUTE LIBRARY

and Artists: The famed avant-garde director/documentarian hosts a Q&A after the screening of shorts about old friends from the New York art scene, Andy Warhol et al. Fri., April 19, 7 p.m., $9. The 365 Days Project (2007, U.S., 137 min.): Selections from Jonas Mekas’ film-a-day project. Sat., April 20, 7 p.m., $9. Deux Fois (1968, France, 65 min.): Director Jackie Raynal will answer questions about her seminal experimental film. Sun., April 21, 7 p.m., free with RSVP.

RITZ AT THE BOURSE 400 Ranstead St., 215-440-1181, landmarktheatres.com. Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan (1982, U.S., 113 min.): Sing it with me: “KHAAAAN!” Fri., April 19, midnight, $10.

WOODMERE ART MUSEUM 9201 Germantown Ave., 215-247-0476, woodmereartmuseum.org. Mississippi Masala (1991, U.K./U.S., 118 min.): An Indian woman falls for Denzel, causing trouble. Can you blame her, though?

Tue.,April 23, 7 p.m., $5.

Deborah Kerr, Kathleen Byron and Jean Simmons as nuns (and a dancing girl) in heat. Wed., April 24, 2 p.m., free.

INTERNATIONAL HOUSE 3701 Chestnut St., 215-387-5125, ihousephilly.org. Buster Keaton

More on:

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IN THEATERS APRIL 26 www.arthur-newman.com

Shorts (1920-21, U.S., 67 min.): Classic slapstick in three shorts with live score by The Not So Silent Cinema.

Thu., April 18, 8 p.m., $12. The

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A haiku: Kim Kardashian goes psycho for sex and wealth.

PHILAMOCA

[ movie shorts ]

the agenda | food | classifieds

follows Neil home after he agrees to marriage, it’s a new world, but Neil knows of the rot beneath. With To the Wonder Malick doesn’t reach for the sublime so much as lunge, arms outstretched, face turned to the sky.

He stumbles, but still, it’s a beautiful fall. —SA (Ritz Five)

Iron Fisting pleasure. Fri., April 19, 9:45 p.m., $9. Notorious (1946, U.S., 101 min.): Nazis and Ingrid Bergman! But this ain’t Casablanca, and

a&e

211 S. Columbus Blvd., 215-413-8655, phillyseaport.org. The Philadelphia Experiment (1984, U.S., 102 min.): When a Navy invisibility experiment during WWII goes wrong, two sailors are sent into the future. Author Paul Malmont in attendance. Sun., April 21, 1 p.m., free with museum admission $13.50. For all Cinedelphia screenings, also check cinedelphia.com.

tive, plus the debut of new work.

Sat., April 20, 3 p.m., free. Unedited Philadelphia: Temple cracks open its Urban Archives collection to show rarely seen local news and documentary footage. Sat., April 20, 6 p.m., free. Wes Anderson Burlesque: Miss Rose’s latest includes handpicked lady friends and a burlesque tribute to Rushmore. Sat., April 20, 10 p.m., $12. Siegmund Lubin Birthday Celebration: A look back at the work of the Philly native and “King of Movies.” Sun, April 21, 7 p.m., $10. REELBLACK presents Early Work: REELBLACK curates a selection of work from Philly-based minority filmmakers. Mon., April 22, 7 p.m., $8. The Way to Kevin (2012, U.S., 62 min.): Philly-born Kevin Mines preaches, does gay porn, performs Christian-themed mime — and will be at the screening. Wed., April 24, 7:30 p.m., $10.

the naked city | feature

Affleck) and his lover Marina (Olga Kurylenko) pay a visit in the opening sequence, but Malick finds less to marvel at in ancient landmarks than in the neatly aligned tract homes of exurban Oklahoma. To Marina, who

a&e | feature | the naked city

agenda

the

LISTINGS@CITYPAPER.NET | APRIL 18 - APRIL 24

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the agenda

[ a celebration of wailing storm surges ]

STILL CAUGHT IN A MOSH: Anthrax will play the entirety of 1987’s Among the Living tonight at the TLA. MATTHEW RODGERS

The Agenda is our selective guide to what’s going on in the city this week. For comprehensive event listings, visit citypaper.net/listings.

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IF YOU WANT TO BE LISTED:

Submit information by email (listings@citypaper.net) to Caroline Russock or enter it yourself at citypaper.net/submit-event with the following details: date, time, address of venue, telephone number and admission price. Incomplete submissions will not be considered, and listings information will not be accepted over the phone.

THURSDAY

4.18 [ theater ]

✚ THE HAND OF GAUL Jared Michael Delaney’s first full-length play, presented by Inis Nua Theatre Company, barrages us with ridiculousness. Adam Altman, Harry Smith and Delaney himself are dim-witted Irish lads incensed

by French striker Thierry

Henry’s illegal goal in the 2010 World Cup qualifier. “One Cardinal Rule,” explains Janelle Kauffman’s helpful and omnipresent video backdrop: “Do Not Touch the Ball With Your Hands.” Henry, of course, must die to avenge Ireland’s stolen honor, so with a quick Google search the boys find Le Falcone (outrageously silly Damon Bonetti), Belgium’s Englishmauling (the language, that is) assassin who’s obsessed with Henry for his own reasons. This would be great fun in itself, but director Tom Reing adds J. Alex Cordaro’s gloriously silly slowmotion fight choreography and witty live music and sound effects by Rosie Langabeer and Joshua Machiz. And that’s not all. Hilarious videotaped dueling press conferences from former Irish president Mary McAleese (Began Bellwoar) and former French president Nicolas Sarkozy (Leonard Haas) punctuate scenes, part of Delaney’s boldly un-P.C. dialogue, like the outrageous debate about national slurs.

(What do you call a Belgian?)

The play’s wink-wink looseness still conveys an uplifting moral, and lets us know that the cast is having as much fun as we are. I can’t think about The Hand of Gaul now without shaking my head and laughing: terrible, terrible, funny.

—Mark Cofta Through April 28, $20-$25, Off-Broad Street Theatre, 1636 Sansom St., 215-454-9776, inisnuatheatre.org.

[ theater ]

✚ LIVERPUDLIAN SLEEVE Playwright Davey Strattan White earns his second M.F.A. from Temple — he’s already got one for acting — with his new dark comedy Liverpudlian Sleeve, directed by the alwaysreliable David O’Connor. A controversial call by soccer ref Owen (Charlie DelMarcelle) drives already-rabid fans ballistic, including a freak attack by a crazed woman that leaves poor Owen — well, let’s

be delicate and say “feeling like less than a man.” Also in the mix are yoga, YouTube celebrity and the gender-role complications that ensue when a man loses his manhood and a woman stops being ladylike.

White’s a soccer fan, player and referee as well as an actor and playwright. “Since beginning work on this play,” he notes, “I’ve become a big Liverpool fan. Go Reds.” Serendipitously for those needing a spring footy fix, Liverpudlian Sleeve runs concurrently with another new play about the sport, Jared Michael Delaney’s The Hand of Gaul (see previous).

—Mark Cofta Through April 28, $5-$20, Randall Theater, Temple University, 2020 N. 13th St., 215-204-1122, templetheaters. ticketleap.com.

[ metal ]

✚ ANTHRAX The scarcity of humor in the world of metal has earned Anthrax the status of “wacky

neighbor” within the Big Four of thrash, but their landmark 1987 album Among the Living is well stocked with deadly serious riffing. Sure, singer Joey Belladonna sported an enormous headdress for “Indians,” and the album features homages to nerd-friendly subjects like Judge Dredd, John Belushi and not one but two Stephen King stories. But they’ve always couched their goofier tendencies in powerhouse guitar work and driving rhythms that maintain a buoyant groove even at their most punishing. With four of the five members who recorded the album, Anthrax will revisit Among the Living in its entirety on the Metal Alliance tour, where they’re supported by the equally long-lived Exodus (whose current lineup is considerably less related to their classic one) and a host of next-generation metal acts.

—Shaun Brady Thu., April 18, 6 p.m., $35, with Exodus, Holy Grail, Municipal Waste, and Shadows Fall, TLA, 334 South St., 215-922-1011, tlaphilly.com.

[ theater ]

✚ EASTERN STANDARD/ (IN)VOLUNTARY COMMITMENT Quince Productions, best known for their August GayFest! series, has two shows running in the Walnut Street Theatre’s intimate Studio 5. Richard Greenberg’s ’80s cosmopolitan romantic comedy Eastern Standard grabbed me with its hilariously inappropriate moment of a New Yorker calling his waitress “Hey, actress!” Rich Rubin directs two couples, one straight and one gay, as they navigate their relationships with help and interference from said actress and a pushy homeless woman.

In (in)voluntary commitment — the storytelling sequel to last year’s Overexposed: A Slightly Awkward Peep Show — Jennifer MacMillan, Daniel Student and R. Eric Thomas reunite for more brutally honest, boldly funny stories: “First comes love, then marriage,” they announce,

—Mark Cofta

FRIDAY

[ rock/pop ]

✚ ANAÏS MITCHELL & JEFFERSON HAMER In recent years, few singersongwriters have done as much as Anaïs Mitchell to illuminate the circumstances that bind humans across ages and oceans. Hadestown (2010) found resonances between Greek mythology and the Great Depression, while last year’s Young Man in America explored the complicated bonds between parents and children from biblical times to her father’s day

—M.J. Fine Fri., April 19, 7:30 p.m., $14, with Robert Sarazin Blake, Tin Angel, 20 S. Second St., 215-928-0978, tinangel.com.

[ punk ]

✚ METZ/ICEAGE/ WHITE LUNG Hotly tipped hell-raisers hailing from points across the industrialized, socially democratic global North — Toronto, Copenhagen and Vancouver, respectively — this trifecta of neo-hardcore bruisers all share the time-honored punk value of brevity. You could fit each

band’s most recent full-length — Metz’s seething, brutally efficient self-titled Sub Pop debut; Iceage’s style-refining, nuancecourting growth-spurt You’re Nothing (Matador); and White Lung’s sneering, electrifying, Riot Grrrl-checking blitzkrieg Sorry (Deranged) — onto a single CD-R, with room to spare.

Proceeding to actually listen to said pileup, however, would be a bracing, pummeling, existentially exhausting undertaking.

And it’s hard to even fathom the impact of seeing them all live in quick succession, though at least you’ll get the set breaks to catch your breath and wipe off some sweat.

food | classifieds

4.19

[ the agenda ]

the agenda

Eastern Standard, Thursdays-Saturday, through May 4, 7 p.m., $20-$25; (in)voluntary commitment, Tue.-Wed., April 23-24, 7 p.m., $20; Walnut Street Theatre Studio 5, 825 Walnut St., 215627-1088, quinceproductions.com.

to our own. On the new Child Ballads (Wilderland), Mitchell and Jefferson Hamer take on seven of the 305 English and Scottish ballads collected by Francis James Child in the 19th century. In delicately rendered songs such as “Willie’s Lady” and “Clyde Waters,” young lovers are thwarted and bound together by their parents’ cruelties. Mitchell and Hamer, who play acoustic guitars and sing in close harmony, owe much to the countless folks and folkies who’ve kept these stories alive over the years. But don’t we all?

the naked city | feature | a&e

“then come neuroses, ambivalence and desperately trying not to turn into your parents.”

—K. Ross Hoffman Fri., April 19, 7:30 p.m., $13, with Night Birds, First Unitarian Church, 2125 Chestnut St., 866-468-7619, r5productions.com.

[ rock/pop ]

✚ LAURA STEVENSON It’s the rare performer who can make you happy while tapping

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³ FABRIC ROW RELIEF FUND

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Elenna Brennan, owner of shoe boutique Bus Stop,is taking donations. It’s not for a shop expansion or a collection launch party: Brennan is working in collaboration with the Queen Village Neighbors Association to raise money for those affected by the Fabric Row fire that broke out on April 6, damaging storefronts and killing Capt. Michael Goodwin, who helped stop the blaze. The stores damaged by the fire include Moon & Arrow, Jack B. Fabrics, Urban Princess and Platinum Real Estate.

“This fundraiser is a grass-roots, organic way to raise funds for our friends on Fourth Street that were tragically affected by the fire, for those that were displaced or lost everything,” explains Brennan. Last week, Bus Stop’s sixth anniversary party became not just a celebration, but a launchpad for the fundraiser. Supporters can make cash donations at the shop, or pay by credit card or check through QVNA. If you want to support the cause while you shop, head to the Arts on South, South Street’s Fourth Friday event, on April 26. Brennan says that a percentage of sales from the night will go toward the fundraiser. Bus Stop Boutique, 727 S. Fourth St., 215-627-2357, busstopboutique.com. (julia.west@citypaper.net)

the agenda

D AV I D S M I T H

By Julia West

the naked city | feature | a&e

[ the agenda ]

Have an upcoming shopping event? Give it here. E-mail listings@citypaper.net.

—Deni Kasrel Sat.-Sun., April 20-21, $20-$50, Annenberg Center, 3680 Walnut St., 215-898-3900, pennpresents.org.

[ jazz ]

✚ GIACOMO GATES There’s certainly no shortage of Miles Davis tribute albums, but Giacomo Gates’ latest is unique in its focus on pairing lyrics with tunes associated with the jazz legend. Gates is a modern master of the vocalese tradition, following in the footsteps of hip forebears like Eddie Jefferson, and he insinuates himself into the context of Miles’ late-’50s/early-’60s material like patinated brass.

His rich baritone has a lived-in warmth, earned via an unusu-

al biography. No music-school kid, Gates didn’t sing in public until age 40, after decades working a variety of callousforming work: construction, truck driving, three years laying pipeline in Alaska. If his experiences have been different from Miles’, or from Gil Scott-Heron’s, to whom he paid homage in his last release, they nevertheless share experience, which enticingly roughens the edge of every note.

—Shaun Brady Sat., April 20, 8 p.m., and Sun., April 21, 7 p.m., $20-$50, Annenberg Center, 3680 Walnut St., 215-898-3900, annenbergcenter.org.

[ folk ]

✚ BILLY BRAGG Billy Bragg opens his ninth album by declaring “I’m so tightly wound in tension.” He hardly sounds it, though: Tooth and Nail (Cooking Vinyl) is easily the sometime firebrand’s mellowest LP to date, a warm, burnished Americana set bearing all the tasteful hallmarks of producer Joe Henry (including Greg Leisz’s always-lovely pedal-steel inflections.) Continuing

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of bringing Glass’ wide-ranging tales to vibrant life. This crew has already done some short gigs together, but we get to catch the world premiere of their new 90-minute show. If you’re wondering what to expect, Glass says, “People who like This American Life will probably like this because it is just like the radio show, um, if you picture dancers during all the stories.”

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tradition of voodoo worship, communal living and collective music-making in the tiny, extreme-north Swedish village of Korpilombolo. The group’s three “core members” (the specific number and identities of the musicians involved are kept vague) do indeed hail from there. Probably.

Either way, the narrative feels less like attention-seeking puffery than a legitimate (if

[ the agenda ]

Eastern grooves that does for world beat what fellow Swedish fantasists Dungen did for classic rock, unleashing a celebration of wailing storm surges (“Goathead”), ritual incantations (“Goatlord”) and party jams (“Disco Fever,” which interleaves kraut-funk and Ethiopian jazz) replete with hand drums, Hammondorgan fever dreams, tribalistic chanting and, of course, that most universal of instruments, the electric guitar.

—K. Ross Hoffman

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grandiose) means to sever their music from conventional contexts and expectations.

Thankfully, their album World Music (Rocket) — the title is simultaneously impish and self-evidently apt — doesn’t feel the least bit pretentious or put on. Instead, it’s a total blast, a swirl of Afrobeat, droney psych-rock squalls, instrumental acoustic folk and polyrhythmic Middle

Wed., April 24, 9 p.m., $13-$14, with Holy Wave, Johnny Brenda’s, 1201 N. Frankford Ave., 215-739-9684, johnnybrendas.com.

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the agenda

DJ SYLO & COOL HAND LUKE

Sat, April 20th, 9pm Donations @ Door The Improbables, Blessed Muthas and The Stents

the naked city | feature | a&e

THURSDAY 4.18 STUNTLOCO

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f&d

foodanddrink

miseenplace

By Caroline Russock

GREAT PARTY Serious in-town, out-of-town and as-seen-on-TV talent.

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³ THE GREAT CHEFS Event on June 11 goes to

show that it pays to have friends in high places. For this yearly happening, Marc Vetri brings in 44 of his restaurant-world friends and colleagues for a night of over-the-top eating and drinking with all proceeds benefiting Alex’s Lemonade Stand Foundation and the Vetri Foundation for Children. Taking over Urban Outfitters HQ in the Navy Yard, the event attracts a pretty serious roster of in-town, out-of-town and asseen-on-TV talent. This year, Vetri tapped newcomers like Mary Sue Milliken of Border Grill andToo Hot Tamales fame, pitmaster Adam Perry Lang, Michael Tusk from San Francisco’s Quince and Jenn Louis from Portland’s Lincoln Restaurant and Sunshine Tavern. And there are going to be plenty of familiar faces from years past as well: Vinny Dotolo and Jon Shook, the dudes behind L.A.’s Animal and Son of a Gun, are back this year. New York is well represented with the jovial Jonathan Waxman, Mark Ladner of Del Posto and Doug Quint and Bryan Petroff from Big Gay Ice Cream. Closer to home, Mike Solomonov and Jose Garces will be there.

The chefs are handling the small plates, and drinks are coming from guest mixologists, brewers and vintners, including Russian River and luli/ Indie Wineries.

Of course, no charity gala is complete without an auction, and the Great Chefs one has got some pretty serious prizes: Think a four-day eating tour of Italy hosted by Vetri and Osteria chef Jeff Michaud or a chance for you and five of your closest friends to dine at Vetri with Top Chef host Tom Colicchio and his wife, Laurie.

In previous years the evening kept on going with a chefs-only after-party at Amis, but this year Vetri has decided to move the festivities north to Alla Spina, where things are a little roomier. He’s also releasing a limited number of after-party tickets to the public that include admission to both events plus after-hours barbecue from Adam Perry Lang, snacks from Stephen Starr’s neighboring Route 6, Victory beer and Little Baby’s Ice Cream.

Let’s just hope that the stretch of Mount Vernon Street is tented. “It rains every year,” says Vetri. “It’s kind of good luck at this point.” (caroline@citypaper.net) ✚ The $350 tickets can be purchased at vetrifoundation.org.

THREE TIMES A CHARM: Winter citrus, chive emulsion and salsa tonnato accompany seared fluke.

NEAL SANTOS

[ review ]

WORKING THE ROOM Friendly bistro vibes complement finely tuned French-inspired fare at Fitler Dining Room.

By Adam Erace

FITLER DINING ROOM | 2201 Spruce St., 215-732-3331, fitlerdining-

room.com. Dinner served Wed.-Thu., Sun., 5-10 p.m.; Fri.-Sat., 5-11 p.m.

Appetizers, $9-$15; entrees, $18-$27; desserts, $9.

U

sually, Rob Marzinsky is a purist when it comes to oysters.

Usually.

The young chef of Ed Hackett and Dan Clark’s casual-yetpolished Fitler Dining Room and I are copacetic on that point. I believe oysters are one of those foods that exemplify the doctrine of “the less More on: you do to it, the better.” Give me a jet of lemon, a splash of vinegar and not much else. On a recent night at “FDR,” as Marzinsky and his compatriots call the two-month-old restaurant, he treated a half-dozen Beau Soleils to both those agents, Meyer and rice wine, respectively.

Together with sugar, garlic, lime and fish sauce, they created a luminous American version of the Vietnamese dipping sauce nuoc cham.

But that wasn’t all. The oysters, quivering in their shells like teardrops of polished gray panna cotta, wore amber baubles of smoked trout roe from Michigan’s haute-condiment house BLiS, plus barely pickled pieces of shallot and ginger. Quite the mouthful for such

citypaper.net

little guys. I was prepared to hate.

Fitler’s oysters made me angry — at my wife, whose talent for snooping out the sleepers on any menu did not fail. Plucky and vibrant, the pickles and “nuoc cham” lit up the oysters’ natural creaminess like a squirt of citrus over a log of marrow. Writers talk about food dancing across the tongue or palate; these oysters damn near Dougied. Kate Upton, take note.

If there’s a better accessorized bivalve in town, I don’t know it.

Marzinky, a former artist who plates like a practicing one, is good like that, with a knack for manipulating ingredients in interesting, effective ways you remember a week later.

But really, do not miss the oysters. With Fitler Dining Room’s chic French thrift-shop looks and friendly bistro vibe, the place looks born to serve them. Inside, crackled mirrors jive with elbow-pipe lights, and broken-in banquettes — one tufted, fey and jade, the other like a row of butterscotch ladyfingers — duel on opposite sides of the lively hazel room. Motown, funk and MORE FOOD AND early Michael Jackson play. David Katz’s DRINK COVERAGE Mémé had an impressive run here, and AT C I T Y P A P E R . N E T / Jonathan Adams, former chef of Pub & M E A LT I C K E T. Kitchen, had the inside track that Katz was planning to close. Says Marzinsky, “We basically jumped on it.”

I’m glad they did. Marzinsky, who cooked with Pub & Kitchen’s opening staff, sous-ed for George Sabatino at Stateside and ran the kitchen at the Diving Horse down the Shore, is ready for his own stage. And what a stage it is. Katz kept a nice house, but the P&K posse did more than refresh the room, including losing a few seats to extend FDR’s open kitchen. Pristine white subway tiles wrap the >>> continued on adjacent page

â&#x153;&#x161; Working the Room

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[ food & drink ]

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THIS SUNDAYâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S (4/21) MOVIE

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enclave, which is fitted with a four-stool chefâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s counter facing Marzinsky and his two capable full-time cooks, Max Botwick and Casey Watson, whose restaurants Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll probably be writing about in a couple of years.

In concert, the trio sent forth some real stunners, like a walnut-oiled tartare of Lancaster beef with perky chanterelle conserva, house-baked walnut bread and a kiss of saba. The simple yet complex starter is rooted in the truffled tartares of Perigord, explains Marzinsky, an admitted Francophile: â&#x20AC;&#x153;But I left out the truffle so you could really taste the flavor of the beef.â&#x20AC;? And you do.

Dual sauces, a sprightly chive emulsion and a dignified tonnato, anchored the flaky, friendly seared fluke topped with confit of Meyer lemon that illuminated each bite.

Pork showed off three preps (cherry-smoked and roasted tenderloin, crisped braised belly, and coarse sausage spiced with quatre epices and poached in duck fat), came with a crock of cassoulet flecked with belly scraps and proved everything is better when speckled with pickled mustard seeds. Chartreuse butter was herbaceous and electric on potato gnocchi that were too soft, but which I liked anyway thanks to their inventive pickup: sautĂŠed snails, hazelnuts, curls of shaved and pickled butternut squash and emerald sauce created by the butter. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d just cook the gnocchi less and chop the hazelnuts instead of leaving them whole, which would better distribute their crunch.

Graciously, Marzinsky permitted bossy turnips to keep just a little of their raw-state crunch and assertive funk; glazed in chicken stock and butter, they nearly upstaged their chaperone, a moist, porcini-poached and roasted chicken breast wrapped in skin that was about as crisp as an Ace bandage. Dude does right by vegetables, including carrots, which appeared as an autumn-spiced, featherweight layer cake sealed with restrained creme-fraĂŽche icing and studded with raisins poached in riesling. A terrarium of white-chocolate pudding, banana butterscotch and pecan crumble, by comparison, was a shade too sweet.

Those who prefer temperate finales should repair to Fitlerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s cheeses, a budding program with Triaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s and Talulaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s in its sights. Printed daily, the menu of a dozen or so fromages focuses on American producers, with concentrations in California and the Northeast. Pick three or five, just make sure two of them are from Nettle Meadow Farm in Warrensburg, N.Y., a dairy specializing in oozy mixedmilk stinkers. FDRâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s coterie of tidy servers can help with the rest; this staff is knowledgeable, friendly and keen, present when you need them and vanished when you donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t, a real challenge in a room this snug.

There isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t much bad to say about Fitler Dining Room.

Even the mild bay-scallop crudo special, with chowder elements and a need for salt, was still pretty good. More often, Marzinksy presents his style with braininess, clarity and edge. I feel like I know him as a chef, and thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a very rare thing for a restaurant this young. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll eat his oysters any way he serves them. (adam.erace@citypaper.net)

4VOEBZ QN

DOLPHIN TAVERN

If there’s one thing Philly loves, it’s a bar with character. The Dolphin had it in spades, so when it shut down last year, it was rightly and intensely mourned. Now it is reopened under new management (dominant Four Corners, which counts Union Transfer and Morgan’s Pier among its properties) and, thankfully, the new guys realized they shouldnít fix what wasn’t broken. Inside, the space is largely the same with major overhauls only where they really count (i.e., the draft list and the bathrooms, obvs). The dancers who make the place what it is are back, and with some help from R5 Productions and Making Time’s Dave P., the DJ nights have become a serious draw in their own right. Open daily, 5:30 p.m.-2 a.m. 1539 S. Broad St., 215278-7950, thedolphinphilly.com.

BREEZY’S CAFÉ

The newest addition to the sparse Point Breeze dining scene is a tiny sandwich-centered cafe with a one-eyed cat named Sergeant for a mascot. The menu offers smart updates to local classics (think grass-fed-beef cheesesteaks and pork roll perched on pretzel rolls) in addition to plenty of variety for the vegetarian set — that pretzel roll also figures into a melt made with Kennett Square mushrooms.

Sandwich supplements include a daily selection of soups, salads, and some unexpected touches: boiled Cajun peanuts, anyone? Open Tue.Sat., 8:30 a.m.-8:30 p.m.; Sun., 8:30 a.m.-3:30 p.m. 2011 Reed St., 267858-4186, breezyscafephilly.com.

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TOAST

This section of Spruce has seen a confusing array of short-lived coffee shops over the past year or so, but here’s hoping that Toast sticks where previous tenant YOLO could not. The new spot offers breakfast and lunch plus brews for all palates from a variety of local roasters (Philly Fair Trade, One Village and Green Street represent). The eponymous specialty is the egg toast — house-made English muffins topped with poached or fried eggs and a variety of toppings, like sautéed greens and mushrooms or sausage and warm apples. You’ll also find standards like egg sandwiches and oatmeal; the mid-day offering of sandwiches and salads includes one very handsome ABLT (where the A denotes avocado, not an editing oversight). Open Mon.-Fri., 7 a.m.-7 p.m.; Sat.-Sun., 8 a.m.-6 p.m. 1201 Spruce St., 215821-1080, toastphilly.com.

✚ PIZZERIA BUFAD PIZZA

The new pizzeria from Michael and Jeniphur Pasquarello (Prohibition Taproom, Café Lift) is a cozy 30-seater serving up Neapolitanstyle pies in just six iterations as well as scissor-snipped slices a la Romana. For now, the tidy selection

ranges from a simple margherita to a potato-and-egg pie gilded with prosciutto, scallions and fontina cheese. Accompaniments come in the forms of antipasti and salads, including crostoni with toppings of salt cod and potato, chicken liver and guanciale, or herbed cannellini-bean puree. Cash only. Open Tue.-Sun., 11 a.m.-11 p.m. 1240 Spring Garden St., 215-238-9311, bufadpizza.com.

PIZZERIA BEDDIA

No one is going to accuse Joe Beddia of rushing to market. He’s been making a careful study of pizza for years, and early responses to the American-style pies coming out of his new Fishtown spot suggest that all that homework’s paying off. His thin-crust pies are fired on a gas deck and the concept is the picture of simplicity: The menu is limited to 16-inch red pies with a small handful of optional toppings. You can’t get it by the slice, and there’s not much in the way of seating — but good pizza doesn’t require much adornment. NB: The official closing time is cited as “10:30ish,” so plan accordingly. Open Wed.-Sat., 5:30-10:30 p.m. 115 E. Girard Ave., no phone, pizzeriabeddia.com.

✚ SANDWICHES VALLEY SHEPHERD CREAMERY/MELTKRAFT

Reading Terminal recently gained this top-notch cheese shop from the Long Valley, N.J., sheep farm and creamery. They’re making some of the cheeses on-site, including clothbound cheddar, Stilton-style blue and fresh mozzarella they’re handstretching every day to provide a good show while you shop. On the take-out tip, chef Rebecca Foxman is serving up specialty grilledcheese sandwiches. Go simple with fresh mozzarella and roasted tomatoes on a baguette, or go for the gusto with the Valley Thunder, which marries cheddar, brisket and mac and cheese. Any sandwich can be custom-grilled in duck or bacon fat, if you so choose. Open Mon.-Sat., 10 a.m.-6 p.m.; Sun., 10 a.m.- 5 p.m. Reading Terminal Market, 12th and Arch streets, 267639-3309, valleyshepherd.com.

✚ SOUL FOOD/ SOUTHERN KEVEN PARKER SOUL FOOD CAFÉ

After longtime Reading Terminal soul-food stop Delilah’s closed up shop, news that KeVen Parker (Ms. Tootsie’s) would be taking over the spot was met with sighs of relief. Parker is renowned for soul classics like fried chicken, slow-cooked collards with smoked turkey and sweet-potato pie served up in a sleek setting — the seating area perks up the market atmosphere with leather-upholstered chairs and orchids on the tables. Try the crab-macand-cheese balls or chicken and waffles. Open Mon.-Sat., 10 a.m.-6 p.m.; Sun., 10 a.m.- 5 p.m. Reading Terminal Market, 12th and Arch streets., kevenparker.net.

what’scooking

By Carly Szkaradnik

HUGH E. DILLON

the agenda | a&e | feature | the naked city food classifieds

✚ BAR

✚ CAFE

48 | P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R |

[ food & drink ]

HOW WE DO IT: The restaurants, bars and markets listed in this section rotate every week and are compiled by City Paper editorial staff. If you have suggestions or corrections,email restaurants@citypaper.net.

³ THE WEEK IN EATS Philadelphia Science Festival Kick-Off Party Thu.,

April 18, 6:30 p.m., $15 ³ The Science Festival may be best known for this weekend’s family-friendly carnival on the Parkway, but it kicks off with tonight’s Science Carnival After Dark that’s strictly for the grownups. While you geek out with some of NextFab’s cutting-edge equipment, including 3D printers, your boozing will get an edge from a little molecular gastronomy — including breathing dragon smoke and learning what the hell a paper cocktail is. You’ll also be present for the first tapping of Yards’ special festival brew, a Belgian tripel called Pythagorean Beerum.

(Check out the rest of the festival schedule for plenty more food- and booze-themed fun.) NextFab Studio, 2025 Washington Ave., 215-921-3649, philasciencefestival.org.

Brewery Ommegang’s Hop Chef Competition Tue.,

April 23, 7 p.m., $53.50 ³ Everyone’s favorite beer-pairing and Twitter (#hopchef: trust us on this one) trash-talking competition is back, with six new competitors ready to vie for this year’s honors. Last year, it was George Sabatino (late of Stateside) who came out on top, going on to take the national title. This year’s stellar lineup includes Eli Kulp of Fork, Nick Macri of Southwark, Pat Szoke of The Industry, Lucio Palazzo of La Calaca/Taqueria Feliz, Mike Deganis of Alla Spina and Yun Fuentes of JG Domestic, so pick your pony wisely. Each chef chooses one brew to showcase their pairing prowess across several categories (from Mimicking to Incorporation to the true wild card, Experimental) for a raucous night of live tasting and judging. Union Transfer, 1024 Spring Garden St., 215-232-2100, ommegang.com.

Strangelove’s Beer Bar Grand-Opening Party Tue.,

April 23, 5 p.m., free ³ The latest venture from Leigh Maida and Brendan Hartranft is set to open (just a touch behind schedule) with a bang — namely, an open-invite party and some great freebies. While the regular menu doesn’t go live until Wednesday, grand-opening attendees will get a chance to sample plenty of free previews. And the night’s taplist, as you might expect from the team behind Resurrection Alehouse and Memphis Taproom, throws down the gauntlet even in a town with no shortage of major-draw taplists. Expect plenty of rarities, Pliny the Elder and a cask of Coniston Bluebird Bitter. Strangelove’s, 216 S. 11th St., 215-873-0404, strangelovesbeerbar.com. (carly@citypaper.net)

To place your FREE ad (100 word limit) ³ email lovehate@citypaper.net ALWAYS ON MY MIND

BITCH CHEATER It’s so hard for me to think that for months you were looking me in the eye and saying I love you.

You make me sick, you are nothing but a self-rightgeous, money hungry, no sex drivin’ bitch! For years of marriage, I thought everything would be alright and work itself out, well, you worked it out.

Me out of the house! I hope your pussy turns to rot.

I hope your uterus turns to sand and falls the fuck out. I hope your HepC is transferred to every single man you bang and they all hate you as well. You are a self centerd cunt. Go rot in Hell. You and all the women in your family are simply cheaters. A whole family of cheating bitches. You fuckin tell me to my face that you love me and at the same time you’re seeing s techasshole from your job? Our two childeren will love this bedtime story, once they are old enough to hear it.

flash: I was gonna leave your stupid ass anyways, that’s why I wasn’t upset. Enjoy trying to pay it bitch!

FUCK YOU TOY SOLDIER There is a technician at Sony who is really quite phony..a disgrace to all mankind. No one can stand his raggedy behind a toy soldier in disguise.

Too stupid to realize the plan for his demise. Just an imbecile-too moronic to discover. We’re about to blow his cover...”My Mommy and Daddy are dead” One of the many lies told by a douche totally fucked in the head. He’s viewed as the village idiot.

Everyone knows he aint shit. The world also knows

of you not using it hurts worse. I know you will change for me and stop being a dope fiend. Because I see the love in your eyes when you eat my ass with whipped cream.

I LOVE YOU BIG D DADDY I love you so much. the way you fuck me, sliding that dick in me making me wanna bounce all this wet on it all day. tearing me up making a bitch scream. i love how you take care of me making sure i get to work and there to fight with and feel bad your the best baby i love you i want to be the mother of your kids and the wife you so deserve xoxoxoxxxox.

LOVE ON ELM STREET I want to spend all my mornings waking up in your room. I’ll cherish whatever you make for breakfast and know when to stay out of your way and when to help. I’ll wash the dishes even though you have a dishwasher. I won’t touch the laundry especially if there’s blood on something. I’ll be 100% gracious and respectful to your wonderful family, and be humble at all times. I’ll run circles with you around the city, and spin you around the room the minute we get home from work. I’ll take care of freddie mercury while you’re away, and kiss your papercuts and your forehead every day. i’ll hide notes in your peacoats and surprise you with flower petals. i’ll take a bullet for you if we get mugged, and watch the ‘burbs every night for the rest of forever. i will check your tire pressure. and remind you to take your car in. and most importantly, i’m going to brazenly hold your hand wherever we go. xo

MESSING WITH ME? Here I am, thinking of someone, and you bring up that. I think you’re all serving me scrambled eggs.

Don’t worry, I have my head on straight and true... and I know who gets what and what’s for who. You, my dear, belong to her...but you’re not talking to me anyway, are you? You should always stick with your best friends, and put them before the girl.

The girl you put first is the one. Don’t make that mistake with me. You didn’t though, did you?

CHAIRS CAN BE MOVED Obviously this is in another city...I am putting this in your paper...To the assholes that use their shitty chairs, recycling bins, and other inanimate objects as trophies for clearing out a parking spot that you once occupied: Congratulations on not having a heart attack after shoveling snow for 20 minutes, but seriously, I don’t give a fuck. Chances are if someone takes your space, they have also shoveled out a spot that you may have in exchange.

The worst part is, after the snow starts to melt and most people have dug out their cars, there is a plethora of shit in the street to claim territory. Well guess what…it’s still not your property. I can still move your miscellaneous shit and park my car.

Your legend is dead to me. Oh, and a special thanks to the fucker from down the street, who puts his garbage can with his address spray painted on it in front of my house. I’ll remember that.

RE-DO YOUR BIRTHDAY

SEVENTEEN DOLLARS To the man on the train with the majestically dyed rat, I will offer you a whopping total of $17.00 to adopt your chivalrous and lustrous buddy. That burnished pea-green rodent with whom you frolic must belong to me!!! Please contact me or surely i will whither from absence of that prodigious rat whom i have christened “Spiffy.”

WHY COME BACK! him as a world class liar. His situation is about to be dire. He’s also got a limp dick-you truly make everyone sick.

GUARDIAN ANGEL

You stupid bitch...you sit up there and move this guy into your house and you still can’t pay your fucking rent, you stupid ass wanna-be! I thought you had more sense than that! It is amazing when some people meet someone they forget all about the person or persons that helped them from the fucking beginning. Who do you think that you are? You know what I would definitely love is for you to stay away from me, don’t call my cell phone or nothing. Don’t even go on my facebook and leave a message because I don’t want to hear the bullshit. If you wanted to kill

Why do ex-boyfriends feel like they can come back into your life after they have fucked you over. I know that sometimes I am confused but I still remain smart with knowing who I truly love and belong with. At this moment my current boyfriend is not that wealthy but he has a good heart and takes care of my needs. I love him so but you keep coming around! Do me a favor and just stay away so that I can have a somewhat good life with my current boyfriend. ✚ ADS ALSO APPEAR AT CITYPAPER.NET/lovehate. City Paper has the right to re-publish “I Love You, I Hate You”™ ads at the publisher’s discretion. This includes re-purposing the ads for online publication, or for any other ancillary publishing projects.

49

When we first met it was only business, strictly cash for fun. But now I keep coming back to you like you’re the only one. You only charged me 30 but the service was great. Now I feel so close to you I don’t wear a rubber when we mate. I let you try a strap on though I was skeptical at first. I’ll admit it was painful in the beginning, but now the thought

LOVE IS BEYOND BLIND

P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R | A P R I L 1 8 - A P R I L 2 4 , 2 0 1 3 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T |

I think that even though your birthday was Friday we need to redo that so that we can really explore our other sides and see what is really good. I think that you are so nice, smooth, smart and very protective but you can’t be everywhere at one time, and you aren’t a superhero so...try to be there for me...I can see us in the future together. Having a good time and just relax...remember we can’t be together if you aren’t around....your good but let us be bad together..

FRAUD ASS BITCH Hey G, you have to be the biggest fuckin phony on this planet. You act like you’re so above what goes on at that crummy fuckin job of yours yet you engage in the same fucking activities. Remember when I worked there and we’d sneak away to fuck on other floors? Remember you blowing me in abandoned office spaces? Yet you look down on the very people you have lunch with every Friday like you’re too good, if they only knew how you felt about them. You call your officemate a lesbo just because she enjoys your company. You try to act like you’re accepting of all people, but I know the truth: you’re just as racist as your backwards-ass family. That’s why I’m happy I cheated on your dumb ass multiple times, dumb fuckin bitch. Make sure you tell your little new boyfriend how you used to suck cock while you were still married, in fact you may still be married. That was a great fucking act when I moved out, like you were upset, bitch I knew you already had a replacement, that’s why I stuck your dumb ass with that car. News

yourself like you told me...you would of done it... talk is cheap...

classifieds

Did you know that I think about you all the time...

I can’t stop thinking about the way that you touch me and the way that you do my body...I am just melting with all types of desires wanting to see you again and wanting to have you inside of me. I love the way that you do me! You are just my man and I can’t wait until we are one union!

the naked city | feature | a&e | the agenda | food

[ i love you, i hate you ]

food | the agenda | a&e | feature | the naked city classifieds

merchandise market BRAZILIAN FLOORING 3/4", beautiful, $2.75 sf (215) 365-5826 CABINETS KITCHEN SOLID WOOD Brand new soft close/dovetail drawers Crown Molding 25 Colors, Never Installed!

Cost $5,300. Sell $1,590. 610-952-0033 Diabetic Test Strips Needed pay up to $25/box. Most brands. 610-453-2525

BD a Memory Foam Mattress/Bx spring Brand New Queen cost $1400, sell $299; King cost $1700 sell $399 610-952-0033

BED: Brand New Queen Pillowtop Set $175; 5pc Bedrm Set $345 215-355-3878 Bed lthr Q$169 K$220 P-top matt set Q$175 K$275 exfurn.com 215-752-0911 Bed lthr Q$169 K$220 P-top matt set Q$175 K$275 exfurn.com 215-752-0911 Oak armoire, buffet, Ent unit, Curio Cab, rocker, White leather sofa, Kit table w 4 chairs, Hutch, White rocker Call for pricing 215-491-1429 or 215-630-1266

54 | P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R |

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Contractor going out of business plumbing heating material, office furn, tools, Call 267-333-3402 Best offer

Office Funiture Herman Miller Chairs 148 Pre owned aeron chairs and Misc office Funiture good condition

Call 609-217-7885

2013 Hot Tub/Spa. Brand New! 6 person w/lounger, color lights, 30 jets, stone cabinet. Cover. Never installed. Cost $7K. Ask $2,850. Will deliver. 610-952-0033.

Ice Maker For Sale - $1500 OBO - Paid $3000 (610)834-2989

Vizio 32" TV, new in box, cost $299.95, asking $200. Also, Emerson 10" TV, asking $110. 267-528-1974

33&45 RECORDS HIGHER $ Really Paid

**Bob610-532-9408***

Please be aware Possession of exotic/wild animals may be restricted in some areas.

Bichon Frise akc F/M pups, $550 vet cked Ready 4/16, family raised 717.225.5047 BOXER PUPPIES - 3M, 3F, Shots, Dewormed, T Cropped. 302-655-5957 Cavachon Pups 3 Blk&W M $450 3 Br&W F $650 10 Wks 1st shots 717-368-6889 DACHSHUND PUPS - Minis, vet checked, 1st shots, M $400, F $450. 908.692.7560

DOBERMAN PINSCHER PUPS - AKC, American Champ. bloodlines, quality family pets, M & F, red & fawn. 856-224-4179 English Bulldog Pups pedigree, reg, dewormed. Vet Chked. 215-696-5832 French Bulldogs, AKC, 12 weeks.

M & F. $1500 each. 856-404-3202

jobs Home Healthcare Provider Needed to live w/eldery female w/Alzheimers in exchange for free rent & utils. Exc for someone on fixed income. For more info call (410)693-3711

apartment marketplace

33 & 45 Records Absolute Higher $

***215-200-0902***

Books -Trains -Magazines -Toys Dolls - Model Kits 610-639-0563

everything pets pets/livestock

Coins, MACHINIST TOOLS, Militaria, Swords, Watches Jewelry 215-742-6438 I Buy Anything Old...Except People! antiques-collectables, Al 215-698-0787 I Buy Guitars & All Musical Instruments-609-457-5501 Rob JUNK CARS WANTED We buy Junk Cars. Up to $300 215-888-8662

German Shepherd Pups - AKC, vet cheked, papers. Call (717) 629-3976 German Shorthaired Pointer PUPPIES AKC reg rdy 5/7 m$500 f$550 call 610430-7577 lve mess or txt 484-678-5675

Great Dane Puppy - AKC, Female, blue, 13 wks, shots up o to date, vet checked, dew claw removed, cart trained, $1,200.

Call 302-698-1665

LAB PUPS - ACA reg., family raised, $500/ea. Ready 4/10. Call 717-278-3771 Pitbull Puppy (Big Blue Bullies) 2M 1 F Ready 4/14. $1,500. 1st & 2nd Shots. Call 215-954-6362 Yorkie Pups - 12 wks old, AKC, vet chkd & cert., family raised, parents on premises. M $450. Call 484-667-2006 Yorkie Pups ACA Tiny Beauties Vet Chked Top Quality $675 610-286-9076 Yorkie/Terrier Pups 100% Pure bred, AKC, gorgeous, shots. 610-485-5814

apartment marketplace 5846 N. Marvine 1br $600+utils renovated, close to trans (215)480-6460 5853 N Camac 1BR $660 + utils renov, 267-271-6601 or 215-416-2757 59XX Broad St. 1br $640 +. Heat incl 3rd flr. 1st, last & sec. 215-840-3586 Church Lane Court-600 Church Lane Fieldview Apt-705 Church Lane Julien-5600 Ogontz/Eli Ct.1418 Conlyn Studio, 1bdr & 2bdr -From$450-$850 Move in specials-215-276-5600

1515 W. Westmoreland St. 2BR/1BA $875 Large sunny rooms. Newly renovated. 2 blocks to Temple Hosp. 484-716-9330

37XX Morrell Ave 2br/1.5ba $900 2 flr, total remod, a/c 215.432.7908 Bustleton & Tomlinson 2BR $650-$750 +utils, W/D, pets ok. Call 267-338-6696 Lexington Park 2br/2ba $900 Lg rms, gar. Good credit a must. 1st last & sec. $2700 - move in! Call 570-974-1858

Red Lion & E Keswick 2br $800+utils new reno, 215.613.8989, 267.746.8696

Clifton Heights beautiful 1 & 2 BR Spring Special, 215-681-1723 Drexel Hill 2Br, $795 + utils 2nd flr. Near Trans, 610-291-8560 Lansdowne/Yeadon NICE BR $800 gar, Near trans, credit chk 610.212.2889 YEADON Area Beaut/Upgraded 1 & 2 BR W/D, Spring Special 215-681-1723

Frankford 4356 Josephine St. $100/wk.

Access to whole house. 215-760-0206 FRANKFORD / NORTHEAST , Newly renov, nicely furnished, A/C, W/D, cable, clean, safe & secure. Call (267) 253-7764

Frankford rooms $90-$105/wk Everything incl. Sec dep req. 215-432-5637 Germantown Area: NICE, Cozy Rooms Private entry, no drugs (267)988-5890 Germantown Rms, $120/wk utils incl, share kit/ba, $500 move in 215.849.5861 Lansdowne Ave. room $350/mo utils inc., cable inc. N/S 484-469-0753 LaSalle Univ area $125/week Renov furn rooms 215-843-4481 N. 57th St. $125/wk. Very lrg, newly renov,furn. No Smoke 267-581-1933

3xx E. Sanger 1BR/1BA $650+utils 1st flr, 2mo sec + 1mo rent 215-276-3687 10xx S. 52nd St. Lg. 3BR Laundry room, sec 8 ok. 215-727-0431 2113 S. 65th St. 1BR $700/mo.

2BR $800/mo.

Spacious apt, incl all util, 215.280.0794 58th & Cobbs Creek 1BR $550 + utils newly reno, Sm Pets. Call 215.695.5194 7xx S 51st St. Efficiency $550 3rd flr, Section 8 ok. Call 610-812-6352

400 N. 41st Studio 1st fl $565 & 2Br & Den/1BA $735, 3rd fl 215-765-5008 56th & Spruce 3BR Apt must see, Section 8 OK 215.885.1700

Apartment Homes $650 -$875 www.perutoproperties.com 215.740.4900 City Line Area 2br Apts beautiful, Spring Special 215.681.1723

10th & Dauphin 1BR’s $425-$475 Move in cost 2 mo. rent. 267-902-2585 19xx N 32nd St. 2br $725+elec. brand new, c/a, $2175 req., 215-322-2375 29th & Alleghany 1BR $300 every 2 weeks. $995 to move in. Near transportation & shops. 215-498-9149 33RD ST. 1-2BR $625 & up newly renov, near Univ 215.227.0700, 9-5

1, 2, 3, 4 BEDROOM

FURNISHED APTS Laundry-Parking 215-223-7000

Wyndmoor/Glenside 2BR $1025 new renov, mod kit, ldry 215-878-9900

1 BR & 2 BR Apts $735-$835 spacious, great loc., upgraded, heat incl, PHA vouchers accepted 215-966-9371 4xx W. Penn St. 1br $625+utils Renov., $1875 move-in. 215-322-2375 5211 Greene St. 1br $650+utils Great location. Call 610-287-9857 5321 Wayne Ave. Efficiency $550, 1br $600 Available now 215-776-6277 DO YOU HAVE A SECTION 8 VOUCHER? Apts in Germantown and Olney-SPECIALS 1bdr&2bdr- GAS, WATER, HEAT FREE! Quiet, New Renov, Safe Living Community Call to schedule appt- 215.276.5600

1414 W. 71st Ave 1br $625 incl utils.

Close to trans & shopping. 215-574-2111 1927 Middleton St. 1BR/1BA $600 Fresh paint, new appls. 215-796-4108 Broad Oaks 1BR & 2BR Lndry rm. Special Discount! 215-681-1723

4500 Frankford Ave. Effic. $490 2nd floor, no pets. Call 386-410-0014

33xx friendship St. 1BR/1BA $650 2ND FLOOR NEWLY RENOVATED APT NEW CARPET AND PAINT. CLOSE TO SCHOOLS AND PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION. REQUIRE 1ST, LAST, AND 1 MONTH SECURITY DEPOSIT. NO PETS. NO LAUNDRY AREA. 215-783-4659

10xx Oaklane - Private entrance, clean kitchen, $420/mo. Call 215-287-2424 2435 W. Jefferson St. Rooms: $375/mo.

Move in fee: $565. Call 215-913-8659

28xx N. 25th St, Clean House, Spacious rms, kitch, liv rm access, 215-740-9833 30th & Dauphin vic rooms $350/mo.

267-975-4602 or 215-888-4907

4508 N. Broad St. 3M Rooms: $375/mo.

Move in fee: $565. Call 215-913-8659 507 E. Walnut Ln. $590 Cute, small effic. apt. Call 215-760-0206 55/Thompson deluxe quiet furn $115$145wk priv ent $200 sec 215-572- 8833

A1 Nice, well maintained rms, N. & W. Phila. $85-$125/wk. Call 267-760-3148 Allegheny $90/wk. $270 sec dep. Near EL train, furn, quiet. Call 609-703-4266

Near Broad St. & Roosevelt Blvd. Pay ROOM RENT $530 June 1st. Bring $580 (Covers Sec.Dep.&Appl) required. ONLY One person in ROOM. Apply online & Get $30 off after approval. Call AL: 267-235-6555/ Ashley: 856-341-0514 www.safehavenhomesllc.net North Phila. - $100/wk. $400 move-in.

Newly renovated rooms. 267-702-8899 N. Phila - 2500 Oxford St. $100/wk.

No Smoke/Drugs. 267-721-0573 N. Phila - $75 & up, SSI & Vets+ok, drug free, Avl Immed. 215-763-5565 Olney and N Phila. $85 and up furn, kit privs, coin-op, crpt. 516-527-0186 Richmond room for one person Seniors welcome $400/mo 215-634-1139 South West Phila $125/wk, Bed’s Avail. SSI/SSD. Males & Females.

Sober Living Envnmt. 215-471-6500

SW,N,W Movein Special! $90- $125/wk Clean furn rms SSI ok 215-220-8877 SW Phila. - Elmwood: Nice room, use of entire house. Call 267-972-7242

Broad / Allegheny RMs rent $400-$450 & 26 CB Moore. Furn. Call 267-978-1487 Broad/Olney furn refrig micro priv ent $115/$145wk sec $200 215.572.8833 Caster and Winghocken, 54th and Lancaster, 15th and Federal 55th and Media 1BR apt 60th and Kingsessing Ave. Share Kitch. & Bath, $350 & up, no security deposit, SSI OK. 267-888-1754

W. Phila beaut, new reno, $100-$125/ wk. internet ready, 267-258-8727

UPPER DARBY V eterans Personal care boarding home. 215-880-5486

Philadelphia 3BR Section 8 approved 215-843-4481

14xx S Marston St. 3br/1ba $750 sec 8 ok, nw carpets, bsmt. 267.970.8632 32nd & Wharton 3 BR Near transportation, 215-343-1417

727 Tree St 2Br/1Ba $750/Mo + Utils New ba, New kit MUST SEE 610-348-6717

2BR & 3BR Houses Sec. 8 Welcome

Beautifully renovated Call (267)981-2718

60th & Race 3BR $725+sec.

Newly decorated. Call (215) 747-8150 7xx S 59th St. 3br/1.5ba large corner property, W/D, 215.879.1962 West Phila 1br- 6br $800+ Sec. 8 housing. w/w, h/w, w/d, Call 267-773-8265 W. & SW Phila 2br-3br Houses $700-$900. 1st/last/sec. 215-878-2857

75xx Sherwood Rd. 3br $1100 +utils.

C/A, bsmnt, garage. 610-284-5631 Overbrook Park 3BR $1175 Call 610-642-5655

24xx N 33rd 4BR/1BA $850+ Newly renov, 1 blk to park, 215-421-4849 27xx W. Oakdale St.3BR/1BA $700+utils Beautiful 3BR home. Call 215-472-4193

Temple Hosp Area 3Br/2Ba $850+Utils Den,Yard,New Reno,Sec 8 267-974-9535

MT. LAUREL 3BR/2.5BA TH $1700 In Stonegate Dev. Newly renov., frsh paint, new appls., no pets/smoking, avail.

April 15th. Call Days 856-234-0064 or Evenings 215-579-8868

automotive BUICK PARK AVENUE 1976 $7,800/OBO 56k, silver w/ red, PW/PS. 610-544-9292

Manheim St. 5BR/1.5BA $1175 hrdwd flrs, decorative molding, new kitchen, close to transp. 215-495-7191

35xx Braddock St, 19134 PHA SEC 8 OK . 2 br, 1 ba, 1 blk from public transp, front porch, yard, wash/dryer refrig. $700/mo,+util. 215-946-6000 Elkhart 4BR/2BA $875+utils.

Renovated, Large. Call 201-321-0543 Ontario St. 3BR $750+utils.

Renovated, large. Call 201-321-0543 Russell 3BR $735+utils.

Renovated, Large. Call 201-321-0543

Frankford & Summerset 2BR/1BA $650 LR, kitch., no pets. Call 215-289-2973

MAYFAIR 3BR/2.5BA $1250+utils Close to transp., W/D, full bsmt., parking, patio. Call 215-947-2805 8am-8pm

Honda Civic EX 2007 71K mi. $9,750 26-36mpg man. ex mech cond. 484.919.1992 Toyota Corolla S 2008 $8,500 68,000 miles, silver. 215-888-3703

Become an Aviation Maintenance Tech. FAA approved training. Financial aid if qualified-Housing available. Job placement assistance. CALL Aviation Institute of Maintenance 888-834-9715.

COLLECTIBLES/WANTED

Puma Park Trailer 2011 40ft. $25,000 Fully equip., lotâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s of extras. 772.226.5089

Ford 2000 Handicapped Equipped Luxury Hightop Conv. Van. A/C, full pwr, few orig mi., $7,950. 215-928-9632

A1 PRICES FOR JUNK CARS FREE TOW ING , Call (215) 726-9053

low cost cars & trucks BMW 323i 1999 $4800 4dr AT, slver w/Beige Int, Very gd Cond 82K, 2 owner Newtown 215.208.4569

BUICK LeSabre Ltd 2003 $3500 obo 150k, insp, perfect cnd 267-237-5816 Cadillac Coupe De Ville 1979 $4,800 Sapphire blue, sun roof. 610.667.4829 Cadillac Seville 1978 $4900 44K mi, original, (302)333-3677

Chevy Astro 2004 Mini cargo van. Fully equip, AC, light commercial $4985 TODAY. Corporate Disposal. 215-922-2165

Chevy Metro 1999 $2500 5 spd, 3 cyl, 45 MPG, 79K, 215-620-9383 Chevy Monte Carlo LS 1996 $995 All Pwr 4/14 insp Runs Exc 215-620-9383 Chevy Venture LT 2000 $1,800/OBO May trade. 112K, excel. body, tires, mechanical condition. Call 267-975-4483 Ford 2002 F-150 deluxe pickup truck, extended cab w/ fiberglass cover $5,985.

A/C, lite commercial. Call 215-922-5342

FORD 500 2006 $3800 1 owner, runs great, 197K, insp. 215-740-7911 Ford Escort SE SW 1998 $1395 40k on motor, new insp. 215-620-9383

CASH BUYER, 1970 and Before, Comic Books, Toys, Sports, entire collections wanted. I travel to you and Buy EVERYTHING You have! Call Brian TODAY: 1-800-617-3551.

EDUCATION

MEDICAL-BILLING-TRAINEES NEEDED! Train to become a Medical Office Assistant. NO EXPERIENCE NEEDED! Online training gets you Job ready ASAP. HS Diploma /GED & PC/Internet needed! 1-888926-7882.

FAMILY COURT FOR THE STATE OF DELAWARE NOTICE OF FAMILY COURT ACTION

To: Augustine F. Butcher, Jr., Respondent. Petitioner, Division of Family Services has filed a Dependency/Neglect petition against you in the Family Court of the State of Delaware for Kent County on 12/20/12. If you do not file an answer with the Family Court within 20 days after publication of this notice, exclusive of the date of publication, as required by statute, this action will be heard in Family Court without further notice. If you wish to be represented by an attorney in this matter but cannot afford one, you may be entitled to have the court appoint an attorney to represent you for free. For more information, contact the Clerk of the Court at Family Court.

WANTED TO BUY

CASH PAID-up to $27/box for sealed, unexpired DIABETIC TEST STRIPS! Top $, FREE shipping, 24hr payments! Call 1-877-396-6143 anytime or visit www.TestStripsBuyer. com now.

Automotive Marketplace CASH FOR CARS

ANY CAR/Truck. Running or Not! Top Dollar Paid. We Come to You! Call for Instant Offer. 1888-420-3808 www.cash4car. com

Ford Explorer XLT 2004 $3,495 4x4, new tires, gorgeous. 610-524-8835

Business Services

Ford F-150 XLT 4x4 1994 $1,650 auto, long bed, new insp. 215-620-9383

ATTEND COLLEGE ONLINE

Ford Tarus 2004 $1500 Silver, Runs Well, 176K MI 215.878.1663 FORD TAURUS SE 2006 $3975 Low miles, loaded, clean. 267-592-0448

Jaguar XJ8 1998 $3000 94K MI,Loaded 610-446-5429 NISSAN SENTRA GS 2002 $3400/obo Excellent condition, 140K miles. Call 610585-0510

Toyota Corolla (Prizm) 1996 $1,650 auto, 1 owner, runs new. 215-620-9383

from Home. *Medical *Business *Criminal Justice, Hospitality.

Job placement assistance.

Computer available. Financial Aid if qualified. SCHEV authorized. Call 800-481-9472. HYPERLINK http.// www.CenturaOnline.com. www/CenturaOnline.com BUSINESS OWNERS / INVESTORS

Fast, flexible, funding solutions available to purchase or refinance commercial real estate.

Call MCG 1-888-258-0658.Visit www.mcgfinancing.net

For Sale SPOIL ME

Great dog for good home. Birdie is a friendly mixed breed pup who soaks up affection. Sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s matured in our home as a foster and sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s ready for her foreverhome. Leash-trained, spayed, house-trained and vaccinated... p1anktnn@gmail.com

Health Services DRUG & ALCOHOL PROBLEMS?

TLC Outpatient Clinic. Individual & Group Therapy, Substance Abuse.Yoga, Art & more.

480-577-1172 for information.

Private Insurance or Reasonable Self-Pay/Personalized Treatment Plans.

GET A MASSAGE TODAY

Come and get pampered today.

Swedish/deep tissue/aromatherapy massage Call us today 6107578002. We are located on 1714 east Pasyunk ave.

Philadelphia.

Help Wanted â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Regional HOME CARE AIDES WANTED

RELIANCE HOME CARE SEEKING C.N.A.â&#x20AC;&#x2122;S FOR LIVEIN OR HOURLY POSITIONS IN PHILA. AND SUBURBAN AREAS. $100 Bonus for hired live-ins. CALL HEATHER JENNINGS FOR INFORMATION AT 610-896-6030

Help Wanted â&#x20AC;&#x201C; General HELP WANTED

AREA CLAIMS WRITER/ PROPERTY INSPECTOR CONSULTANT. PT/FT. WILL TRAIN. www.metroteamallentown.com or Email: tv3evp@ gmail.com Call Now: (215) 469-2306.

HELP WANTED

FOREMEN to lead utility field crews. Outdoor physical work, many positions, paid training, $17/hr.plus weekly performance bonuses after promotion, living allowance when traveling, company truck and benefits. Must have strong leadership skills, good driving history, and able to travel in Pennsylvania and nearby States. Email resume to Recruiter4@osmose.com or apply online at www.OsmoseUtilities.com EOE M/F/D/V HELP WANTED

Heavy Equipment Operator Career! 3 Weeks Hands On Training School. Bulldozers, Backhoes, Excavators. National Certifications. Lifetime Job Placement Assistance.

VA Benefits Eligible! 1-866362-6497.

HELP WANTED

Live like a rockstar. Now hiring 10 spontaneous individuals.

Travel full time. Must be 18+.

Transportation and hotel provided. Call Loraine 877-7772091.

HELP WANTED DRIVER

AVERITT OFFERS CDL-A DRIVERS a STRONG, STABLE, PROFITABLE, CAREER. Experienced Drivers and Recent Grads-Excellent Benefits,

Weekly Hometime. Paid training. 888-362-8608 AverittCareers.com Equal Opportunity Employer.

HELP WANTED DRIVER

Driver-One Cent Raise after 6 and 12 months. $0.03 Enhanced Quarterly Bonus. Daily or Weekly Pay, Hometime Option. CDL-A, 3 months OTR exp.

800-414-9569.

HELP WANTED DRIVER

Drivers- CDL-A DRIVERS NEEDED! Solos up to $.38/ mile. $.50/mile for Hazmat Teams. New Trucks Arriving Daily! 800-942-2104 Ext. 7308 or 7307 www.TotalMS.com HELP WANTED!

Make extra money in our free ever popular homailer program, includes valuable guidebook!

Start immediately! Genuine!

1-888-292-1120 www.easyworkfromhome.com $$$HELP WANTED$$$

Extra Income! Assembling CD cases from Home! No Experience Necessary! Call our Live Operator Now! 1-800-405-7619 Ext. 2450 http://www.easyworkgreatpay.com

PARTS STEREO HI-FI-COMPUTERS & MORE...WE BUY IT ALL. 610-649-4151.WWW. CASH4AUDIO.COM

and patio space for grills/bikes/ etc. Utilities included! $1650.00 a month. Avail. June 1 Call Tom at 215-219-6132 for showing today!

Resort/ Vacation Property for Sale

Three+ Bedrooms

VACATION RENTALS

9TH & MOORE VICINITY

OCEAN CITY, MARYLAND. Best selection of affordable rentals. Full/partial weeks. Call for FREE brochure. Open daily.

Holiday Real Estate.1-800-6382102 Online reservations: www. holidayoc.com.

Apartments for Rent SPACIOUS-BRIGHT 1 BEDROOM

1012 Spruce St. - Strickland Row - large (approx. 1000 sq. ft.) one bedroom unit; new granite/stainless high-end kitchen; hardwood floors; large, open living area with good western exposure; multiple, deep closets and storage space in bedroom.

Washer/dryer in-unit. Condo amenities:heated outdoor pool, roof top deck, ample courtyard

3 bdrm.Tree-lined street, Close CC trans. No pets.

Serious inquiries. 215-3365282.

Homes MANAYUNK

3 BR full BA, newly renovated, HW floors, enclosed porch & yard,W/D, central air, basement, walking distance to Main St. $1,300/mo+util.

267-446-7600.

Roommates ALL AREAS-ROOMATES. COM

Browse hundreds of online listings with photos and maps.

Find your roommate with a click of the mouse! Visit: http://www.

Roommates.com.

PAID IN ADVANCE

Paid in Advance! MAKE up to $1000 A WEEK mailing brochures from home! Helping Home Workers since 2001!

Genuine Oppor tunity! No Experience required. Start Immediately! www.mailing-station.com PERSONAL ASSISTANT

PT to FT Personal Assistant is Needed Must be available to work 3 times in a week, have flexibility with your schedule and must be dependable.

Must have excellent customer service skills, must be able to make quick decisions that is best for the company. You just need to have a bright, outgoing, competent personality and a willingness to learn. Only serious applicants. for more details email michealcharles551@ yahoo.com WALNUT STREET THEATRE: AUDIENCE SERVICES APPRENTICE

The Walnut seeks an Audience Services Apprentice for our 2013-14 season. This is an educational opportunity to learn all front-of-house operations for 1100-seat mainstage theatre and 80-seat studio theatre, and coordination of large volunteer troupe. Must have excellent customer service, organizational skills and computer skills. Scholarship stipend of $350/wk. Position August 26 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; July 13 (eve/weekend schedule).To learn more or download an application, please visit our website at www.walnutstreettheatre.org/education. EOE WALNUT STREET THEATRE: WIG/WARDROBE APPRENTICE

The Walnut seeks a Wig/Wardrobe Apprentice for the 2013-14 season. This is an educational opportunity to work with our professional wig and wardrobe crew in preparing and maintaining wigs and costumes for Mainstage and Studio shows and education programs. Must have knowledge/experience in Wig Styling. Knowledge of stitching and alterations a plus.

Scholarship stipend of $350/ wk. Position late Augustâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;mid July (eve/weekend schedule).

To learn more or download an application, please visit our website at www.walnutstreettheatre.org/education. EOE WANTED!

VINTAGE ELECTRONICS DEAD OR ALIVE AUDIO E Q U I P M E N T- VAC U U M TUBES HAM & MILITARY RADIOSTEST EQUIP-SURPLUS

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6INTAGE &LEA -ARKET /N 4HE 0ARKWAY

THIS SAT, APRIL 20TH (RAIN DATE - SUNDAY)

Sister Cities Park - 18th & The Ben Franklin Parkway

8AM til 5PM 40 Select Vendors From The Tri-State Area Featuring Antiques, Collectibles, Vintage Furniture, Jewelry, Glassware, Pottery & Much More Free Admission / ATM On Premises / Handicap Accessible Enjoy A Bite To Eat At â&#x20AC;&#x153;The Milk & Honey Cafeâ&#x20AC;?

While Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re There!

www.PhilaFleaMarkets.org Proceeds Benefit Center City District

55

Upper Darby 3Br/2Ba $1100 + UTILS Newly Reno,Gar,Base, Call 856-366-5770

Public Notices

now paying cash for junk cars and all vehicles up to 700. based on weight, make, model and year- all day pick ups 267-207-6322 267-707-4855 CASH PAID ON THE SPOTNo tittle no problem- Notary is avail. FREE TOWING IN ALL LOCATIONS

P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R | A P R I L 1 8 - A P R I L 2 4 , 2 0 1 3 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T |

1xx W. Hansberry 3BR/3BA 1st, last, security deposit. Call 267-3355950 or 215-839-2283 2xx W. Queen Lane 6BR/3BA $1250+ new kit/ba Application req 215-514-7143

ADOPT: Happily married couple wishes to adopt! We promise unconditional love, learning, laughter, wonderful neighborhood , extended family. Expenses paid. (Se habla espanol). www.DonaldEsther. com 1-800-965-5617.

AIRLINE CAREERS

Cadillac Seville 1984 $5000/OBO 21k mi, Continental front 215-226-1095 47xx N. Camac St. 4BR/1.5BA $1,400 +utils. Sec. 8 ok. Call 215-264-2340

ADOPTION

CARS WANTED UP TO 700

classifieds

2035 S Frazier 2BR/1BA $705+Utils Newly Reno, Great Street "The landlord that cares" Mark 610.764.9739 Brandy 609.598.2299

Adoptions

the naked city | feature | a&e | the agenda | food

homes for rent

billboard [ C I T Y PA P E R ]

APRIL 18 - APRIL 24, 2013 CALL 215-735-8444

Village Belle Restaurant and Bar

As the season changes, stop in to see our spring selections and menu.

Drop in an sample all our beers on tap and new menu selections.

757 South Front St Corner of Fitzwater Street in Queens Village 215-551-2200 www.thevillagebelle.com

PHILLY PAWS BENEFIT SHOW!

Jackie O. presents the 2nd Annual PhillyPAWS Benefit Show SAT 6/8 at Rebel Rock Bar: Outlaw Pandas, Clashing Plaid, Supreem & The New Experience, Welter; awesome raffle & prizes! Cover: $10 donation

SUN BRUNCH 10:30-3:30

PRIVATE PARTIES & GIFT CERTIFICATES 757 south front street, at ďŹ tzwater. 215-551-2200 www.thevillagebelle.com

YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT YOU WILL FIND @ the BIZARRE BAZAAR!

Vendor Space Available

Cultural Cool-lectibles, Curios, Fun Junk!

720 South 5th St, Philly See our TATTOO history display!

FREE PIZZA! $2 BEER OF THE WEEK! $2 WELL DRINKS! ITâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S AMAZING! PASSYUNK AVE (7th & CARPENTER) 215-465-5505 myspace.com/thedivebar

Consignment Marketplace 4001 Main St., Manayunk 215-298-9534 Good traffic - Good parking Low rent Great opportunity for small creative retailers

MAKE THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE GET A TATTOO!

PHILADELPHIA EDDIES 621 South 4th St. Tattoo Haven (MIDDLE of Tattoo Row) 215-922-7384 open 7 DAYS

WEIRD HOT WEDNESDAY

April 24th at Kung Fu Necktie Live sets by Weird Hot at 9 & 11pm Special guest: New Beard from NYC $3 cover buys your first Narraganset Drink specials all night WH DJs all night long Come get your groove on

I BUY RECORDS, CDâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S, DVDâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S

TOP PRICES PAID. No collection too small or large! We buy everything! Call Jon at 215-805-8001 or e-mail dingo15@hotmail.com

USA Cheesesteak Express

Whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s on tap at the Watkins Drinkery?

LATE NIGHT FOOD DELIVERY 11 p.m. - 4 a.m.

7 nights (267) 237-1292 Looking For Good Clients Federal To Vine - Front To 20th

LONG TRAIL CENTENIAL RED ALE DUCLAW RASBERRY STOUDT LEINEN KUGEL RYE KOLSCH ATWATER GRAND CIRCUS IPA NAKED BREWING BLACK CURANT WHEAT SUMMIT MAIBOCK All that and more at the Watkins Drinkery. 10th & Watkins Streets in South Philly.

STUDY GUITAR W/ THE BEST David Joel Guitar Studio

Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s true! Theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re here and delivered daily!

1356 North Front Street 215-634-6430

LUNCH SAT 11-4,

HAPPY HOUR AT THE DIVE

$2 OFF ALL DRAFTS $3 WELL DRINKS $5 HAPPY HOUR MENU Only at the Abbaye 637 N. 3rd Street (215) 627-6711 www.THEABBAYE.net

12 Years of experience.

Offering personal fitness training, nutrition counseling, and flexibility training. Specialize in osteoporosis, injuries, special needs. In home or at 12th Street Gym. MCKFitness@yahoo.com

LE BUS Sandwiches & MOSHEâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S Vegan Burritos, Wraps and Salads Now Available at the EL BAR!

DINNER TUES-THURS 5-10, FRI-SAT 5-11,

HAPPY HOUR AT THE ABBAYE

Building Blocks to Total Fitness

All Styles All Levels.

Former Berklee faculty member.

Masters Degree with 27 yrs. teaching experience.

215.831.8640 www.myphillyguitarlessons.com

village belle

TEQUILA SUNRISE RECORDS

525 West Girard Ave VINYL AND CD SPECIALISTS CLASSIC & MODERN GLOBAL SOUNDS HOUSE TECHNO DUBSTEP DUB DISCO FUNK SOUL JAZZ DIY PUNK LSD ROCK AND LIGHT HARMONY ROOTS BLUES NOISE AVANT AND MORE TUESDAY-SUNDAY 12-6PM 01-215-965-9616

Sexual Intelligence

Guaranteed-quality, body-safe sexuality products, lubricants, male room, sex-ed classes, fetish gear, Aphrodite Gallery SEXPLORATORIUM 620 South 5th Street www.sexploratoriumstore.com

SEMEN DONORS NEEDED

Healthy, College Educated Men 18-39 ~ $150/Sample WWW.123DONATE.COM

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