Philadelphia City Paper, May 9th, 2013

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PHOTO BY NEAL SANTOS

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cpstaff We made this

ADOP T

ME

JACK! 4 YEARS OLD

Hi, I’m Jack! I’m a friendly boy around four years old who lost my home when my family moved. I love other dogs and would like a home with a canine buddy. I’m a smarr boy who knows how to sit and shake, and I’m housebroken, too! I hope you’ll come meet me! Located on the corner of 2nd and Arch. All PAWS animals are spayed/neutered, vaccinated, and microchipped before adoption. For more information, call 215-238-9901 ext. 30 or email adoptions@phillypaws.org

Publisher Nancy Stuski Editor in Chief Theresa Everline Senior Editor Patrick Rapa News Editor Samantha Melamed Arts Editor/Copy Chief Emily Guendelsberger Digital Media Editor/Movies Editor Paulina Reso Food Editor/Listings Editor Caroline Russock Staff Writers Ryan Briggs, Daniel Denvir Assistant Copy Editor Carolyn Wyman Associate Web Producer Carly Szkaradnik Contributors Sam Adams, A.D. Amorosi, Rodney Anonymous, Mary Armstrong, Meg Augustin, Justin Bauer, Shaun Brady, Peter Burwasser, Ryan Carey, Mark Cofta, Jesse Delaney, Alison Dell, Adam Erace, M.J. Fine, David Anthony Fox, Michael Gold, K. Ross Hoffman, Brian Howard, Deni Kasrel, Gary M. Kramer, Drew Lazor, Gair “Dev 79” Marking, Robert McCormick, Andrew Milner, Annette Monnier, Michael Pelusi, Elliott Sharp, Tom Tomorrow, John Vettese, Julia West, Brian Wilensky Editorial Interns Naveed Ahsan, Dotun Akintoye, Jessica Bergman, Marisa Denker, Zoë Kirsch, Kelly Lawler, Joseph Poteracki, Sameer Rao, Marc Snitzer Production Director Michael Polimeno Editorial Art Director Reseca Peskin Senior Designer Evan M. Lopez Editorial Designers Brenna Adams, Matt Egger Staff Photographer Neal Santos Contributing Photographers Jessica Kourkounis, Mark Stehle Contributing Illustrators Ryan Casey, Don Haring Jr., Joel Kimmel, Cameron K. Lewis, Thomas Pitilli, Matthew Smith Human Resources Ron Scully (ext. 210) Circulation Director Mark Burkert (ext. 239) Senior Account Managers Colette Alexandre (ext. 250), Nick Cavanaugh (ext. 260), Sharon MacWilliams (ext. 262), Stephan Sitzai (ext. 258) Account Managers Sara Carano (ext. 228), Jonathan Morein (ext. 249) Marketing/Online Coordinator Jennifer Francano (ext. 252) Office Coordinator/Adult Advertising Sales Alexis Pierce (ext. 234) Founder & Editor Emeritus Bruce Schimmel citypaper.net

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123 Chestnut Street, Third Floor, Phila., PA 19106. 215-735-8444, Tip Line 215-7358444 ext. 241, Letters to the Editor editorial@citypaper.net, Listings Fax 215-8751800, Classified Ads 215-248-CITY, Advertising Fax 215-735-8535, Subscriptions 215-735-8444 ext. 235 Philadelphia City Paper is published and distributed every Thursday in Philadelphia, Montgomery, Chester, Bucks & Delaware Counties, in South Jersey and in Northern Delaware. Philadelphia City Paper is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. Additional copies may be purchased from our main office at $1 per copy. No person may, without prior written permission from Philadelphia City Paper, take more than one copy of each issue. Pennsylvania law prohibits any person from inserting printed material of any kind into any newspaper without the consent of the owner or publisher. Contents copyright © 2013, Philadelphia City Paper. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced without written permission from the publisher. Philadelphia City Paper assumes no obligation (other than cancellation of charges for actual space occupied) for accidental errors in advertising, but will be glad to furnish a signed letter to the buying public.

contents And the winners are ...

The Naked City .........................................................................6 Arts & Entertainment.........................................................18 Movies.........................................................................................25 The Agenda ..............................................................................28 Food & Drink ...........................................................................34 COVER ILLUSTRATION BY CAMERON K. LEWIS DESIGN BY RESECA PESKIN


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the thebellcurve CP’s Quality-o-Life-o-Meter

[ + 2 ] TheDaily News reports on a wild turkey seen roaming the streets of West Philly. This is in addition to the usual sightings of a Virginia gentleman and an old grand-dad.

[0]

CNN rates Philly the sixth-best beer city in the U.S. A half-hour later they withdraw the statement, saying their source got it wrong. Then Wolf Blitzer devotes a whole Situation Room to the question “What is Beer?”

[ -1 ]

Police break up a raucous party near West Chester University, inciting some partiers to flip a car on its side.They say Bam Margera’s boner grew three sizes that day.

[ -2 ]

Witnesses to the wild West Chester University party said the event was inspired by a YouTube video called “I’m Shmacked.” “Oh, I see. Carry on, then,” says cop. “Here, let us flip this car together.”

[ -4 ]

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Articles on local sports sites about Eagles owner Jeff Lurie marrying a Philly woman of Asian descent are plagued by racist comments. Area bigots say they’d like to see something on a Latino person next, or maybe a gay. Adding, “Go Iggles!” Backpacks are banned for spectators at the finish line of the Broad Street Run, and three “evacuation centers” are set up along the route. These provide a safe haven for those whose Facebook walls have been decimated by friends bragging that once a year they run slightly downhill for a little while.

[ 1]

A tree falls on a SEPTA regional rail train in Delaware County. An obvious “I’m Shmacked” reference. Nice one, tree!

[ -1 ]

A Philly man is arrested with eight bags of heroin in his rectum, prompting Upper Darby Police Superintendent Michael Chitwood to call the man an “asshole.” “Because he had drugs up his butt,” explains Chitwood. “And the asshole is part of the butt.”

[ -3 ]

A Center City restaurant is closed after a sewage main breaks and several large rats are spotted on the tables inside. “Ay, don’t forgets youse guys,” says Rat King StankTooth Yelloweye IV. “We gets free miles if we reviews it on RatYelp.”

-

This week’s total: -10 | Last week’s total: -11

PLIGHT RAIL: After years of delays, the last SEPTA Silverliner V trains came online in spring 2012. NEAL SANTOS

[ interference ]

HOT TRACKS How SEPTA’s new Silverliner V trains drove a recording engineer clear out of town. By Ryan Briggs

L

ast spring, Alex Dingley ran across a problem in his home recording studio, in Norristown’s Cigar Factory loft building. At first, the audio engineer thought something was wrong with his 1976 Fender Telecaster — connected to an amp, it emitted “sort of like a really high-pitched, constant chirping noise I’ve tried many times and have never been able to mimic with my voice.” But before he had a chance to bring the guitar in for repair, Dingley realized that all of his recording equipment was picking up the same interference — but, mysteriously, only some of the time. As a professional audio technician trained to weed out pernicious noises, Dingley says he came close to madness trying to locate the elusive origin of the persistent chirping. After months of tinkering, including vainly disassembling his computer to make sure a defective component wasn’t throwing off his recordings, last August he took out a device he owned called an inductive amplifier — a sort of metal detector for electromagnetic frequencies. “I moved [the detector] past the window and I got the burst of noise again,” he says. “There was the [overhead] wire for the train tracks probably 15 feet away.” Dingley couldn’t believe it. He’d lived next to the train for four years and had never had the problem before. And the interference seemed

to occur whether a train was passing or not. But on the street, he was able to pick up interference from as far as 300 feet from the tracks. Things got weirder when Dingley contacted SEPTA. Engineers told him they’d been having the same problem with the publicaddress systems at several train stations. Before long, SEPTA engineers were at Dingley’s apartment waving around frequency detectors of their own. It turns out that something else was happening in spring 2012: The bulk of SEPTA’s new fleet of long-delayed and problemplagued Silverliner V trains were debuting along the regional-rail network. The crop of 120 trains had been supposed to replace much of SEPTA’s aging rolling stock by 2010, but material shortages, labor disputes and manufacturing defects meant the majority of the new trains, built by South Korean-based Hyundai Rotem, weren’t online until 2012. Dingley’s discovery was just the latest hiccup. SEPTA officials explain that the new trains differ from their predecessors in that they are powered by alternating current instead of direct current. Engineers are still examining the problem, but it seems the alternating current used by the new trains is operating at a higher frequency that can get picked up by copper wires — like the one connecting Dingley’s guitar to his amp. Why is the interference present even when the train is not? While direct current travels one way, from a transformer to the train, an alternating current outputs some electricity back to

The trains scrambled SEPTA’s PA systems.

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[ a million stories ]

✚ LAST CALL? As power broker for International Brotherhood of Electrical Workers Local 98, and Philly politics in general, Johnny “Doc” Dougherty may be going strong. But his days as part-owner of a Pennsport bar? Well, those might be waning. After 11 citations — more than half of which came in the last three years, many of which were related to serving alcohol to minors and all of which resulted in temporary closures — the liquor license for Doc’s Union Pub, at 1843 S. Second St., is now listed as “inactive” in state records. Prudential Fox Roach is listing the property for sale. Doc is listed on financial documents as president of JMB Real Estate, which owns the bar; its liquor license is registered to two other IBEW leaders, Brian Burrows and Michael Neill. According to David H. Conroy, a lawyer who represented Dougherty in the past, Doc’s is “absolutely open.” He said the state liquor records might have listed it as inactive in error. Conroy said the curious may “go drive by and take a look” to see just how open the bar is. For a preview, check out Yelp, where online reviewers called the bar “not very ‘safe’” and rated it an average of 2.5 stars out of five. Three out of eight reviewers recounted instances of violence, and three referred to alleged underage patrons. One didn’t enter the bar, but claimed to have had cigarettes and bottles thrown at him while biking by. “There was a confronataion [sic] between 2 patrons,” wrote one Yelper. “One of the ‘non-regulars’ got cold cocked in the face for ostensibly bumping into someone,” wrote another, quoting a regular as saying, “Who do these kids think they are making OUR bar part of their bar crawl?” The trend: Doc’s patrons apparently have a penchant for kicking the shit out of people they don’t like. Especially people who aren’t from Pennsport. People like, statistically,

most of you. What all this means for your next big night out at an organized-labor-themed bar is hard to say. —Ryan Briggs

✚ MOVING TARGET Terry McNally, co-owner of London Grill, wants to be clear: She’s not anti-food-trucks. But her recent tweets sort of came off that way.They were in response to a specific event: the Fairmount Arts Crawl. “The trucks were all lined up — about 10 of them,” she explains. “I understand they’re a draw, but it hurt all of us on a day that’s usually really busy.” And the trucks had nothing to do with art per se, while the restaurants curated and hung artists’ works. Thus, the Twitter world saw London making comments about “unfair competition” and tweeting that “food trucks need parameters.” Lately, the issue of restaurants wanting food-truck regulations has popped up in cities across the country, from D.C. to Minneapolis to San Francisco. “We have all these costs, like insurance, that keep going up,” says McNally. In Philly, various proposals for legislation have emerged in recent years, without results. SPOT Burgers truck owner Josh Kim, who’s on the Philadelphia Mobile Food Association’s board of directors, calls charges of unfair competition “preposterous. What unfair advantage are they talking about?” he wonders. He mentions a half-dozen food trucks that have expanded into brick-and-mortar operations. If being mobile gave you such an edge, “Why would a truck ever want to do that?” All entrepreneurs have costs. “It’s just a different business model,” he says. “Shame,” says Kim, on people “controlling your competition just because you’re not doing well.” McNally — who says she’s won’t be tweeting about trucks again — still thinks regulations are needed: “There’s a place [for trucks], and it’s not in front of other places.” —Theresa Everline

photostream ³ submit to photostream@citypaper.net

AL STEGEMAN FLICKR: AL IN PHILLY

By Daniel Denvir

THE BROAD VIEW ³ IT’S KNOWN AS one of the fastest 10-mile courses in the country, but the Broad Street Run — which took place this past Sunday — is more than that. For a few hours a year, it stitches together a metropolis that is, like most, profoundly segregated by race and class: 40,000 runners are greeted by cheering residents the whole way down. (And I quote one gentlemen: “Don’t stop, get it get it!”) At least at my pace, the run provided a tour of the city’s glories and troubles, past and future. The first mile passed just blocks from the Logan Triangle, the site of nearly 1,000 homes that began sinking into unstable landfill and were demolished in the 1980s. Mile two bisected the bustling intersection of Erie and Germantown avenues, Black and Nobel bookstore’s “We Ship to Prisons” sign a reminder that far too many Philadelphians sit behind bars — but also that neighbors remember them. A few blocks south, Temple University Hospital’s brightly lit campus occupies the neighborhood with all the grace of a military encampment, but its dedicated trauma surgeons are saving many from gun-inflicted deaths in a place that boasts the highest murder rate of any big city. On mile four, Temple’s marching band delivered an adrenaline boost. The university’s expanding footprint promises needed investment, but also stokes fears of displacement. The shadow of the shuttered Divine Lorraine hotel hangs over mile five, a graffiti-decorated giant whose coming resurrection promises to renew Broad Street’s faded grandeur. Just a few steps farther sits the former Ridge Center, the city’s largest homeless shelter until its occupants — in the poorest big city in America — were evacuated to make room for a Stephen Starr commissary. Mile six: The headquarters of the School District of Philadelphia, aiming to educate a poor and racially segregated student body with consistently insufficient funds. Next, the empty Inquirer building, from whence reporters were relocated to a space better fitting the newspaper industry’s shrunken scale. Developer Bart Blatstein wants to turn it into a casino. By mile seven (City Hall), I was less reflective and more focused on increasing my pace. But I do recall a woman holding a sign with the pleasantly raunchy reminder: “Broad Street isn’t meant to be easy. If it was, it would be named ‘Your mom.’” Philly’s not meant to be easy, either. But if you embrace the whole damn thing, it really can love you back. ✚ Send feedback to daniel.denvir@citypaper.net.

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Carnaval de Puebla

hostilewitness

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[ got coldcocked in the face ]

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✚ Hot Tracks

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<<< continued from page 6

“If it wasn’t for the noise, I wouldn’t be moving.” the copper overhead wires that power the train. In short, the new Silverliners are turning large segments of the overhead wires into giant, highfrequency electromagnetic transmitters. Dingley says he heard conflicting explanations for this: A SEPTA engineer blamed Hyundai Rotem’s new trains, while a Hyundai Rotem employee who stopped by chalked it up to SEPTA’s obsolete infrastructure (noting that Hyundai Rotem’s Asian and European rail clients hadn’t reported similar problems). In any case, Hyundai Rotem says it has already paid to design and install specially made frequency-dampening devices at four major SEPTA stations (other stations, SEPTA says, were not affected because their public-address systems use fiber-optic wires). But Dingley might be out of luck. Although he says that, in March, SEPTA gave him one of the filtering devices for free, it wasn’t much help. The filter, it turns out, blocks all sounds at that frequency, including high notes from Dingley’s Fender. Dingley chronicled his experience on the website Reddit.com last week in the hopes of educating others and, maybe, finding a resolution to his own problem. While his story elicited hundreds of comments

(and helped at least one other person plagued by “the noise”), no clear solutions emerged. Doubtful that any easy fix was on the horizon after nearly eight months of working with the transit agency, Dingley has given up — he’s moving out, to a new home and studio in Elkins Park. “I love my apartment. It’s really great, and my day job is 10 minutes away. If it wasn’t for the noise, I wouldn’t be moving,” he says. SEPTA officials say they still want to work with Dingley on silencing the dreaded chirp once and for all. “We recognize with the manufacturer that there was a problem, and we’ve done everything we can to do a full analysis and come up with a solution,” says SEPTA spokesperson Jerri Williams. “Unfortunately, the solution was too good. It fixed the interference problem but created another problem.” (ryan.briggs@citypaper.net)


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P O E T R Y W I N N E R

dream walker written by carolyn r. guss

You awake and arise in one motion. Unaware of my presence, you leave the room and you are already wandering in your new wakefulness, exchanging night for day.

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I have watched woods deer do this, move from sleep into wake, the body rising on four straight legs and simply scampering away. Something always stays behind there among the warm and flattened leaves; I feel it as I take the space, even knowing that the whitetail, sensing my scent, will not rest there again for many days. Now I lie on the bed you have abandoned; a part of you is still there, asleep! More than warmth steals into me as I retrace the paths of your sleep journey: your night’s dreams enter through my eyes. Later at breakfast, when you talk of your dreams, I will nod and fill in fragments that you, in your animal hurry, have forgotten.

poetry

judge’s comments There’s an alertness in the gestures, the movements, of “Dream Walker” that immediately catches my attention. This poem, for all its intensity and economy, takes its time, leaves a lot of space for thinking and feeling and moving on. The real becomes unfamiliar, then familiar-but-changed all over again, in this personal poem that somehow, by the end, seems a kind of waking dream. I can’t quite tell if “Dream Walker” is about distance from or proximity to the beloved — and I like it all the more for that. —Daisy Fried

ABOUT THE JUDGE Daisy Fried lives near the Italian Market, was a staff writer for Philadelphia City Paper in the ’90s and currently reviews poetry books for the New York Times. As a poet, she’s received several prestigious prizes and fellowships (Guggenheim and Pew, among others). Her third collection, Women’s Poetry: Poems and Advice, was released March 10. For more information, go to daisyfried.weebly.com.

poetry runners-up “The Poetics of Cinema” by Dan Van Wert > Five untitled poems by Daniel Barnum


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artsmusicmoviesmayhem

icepack By A.D. Amorosi

³ I THINK THIS weekend’s second annual Center City Jazz Festival is swell. This year, trombonist Ernest Stuart’s game plan expanded into Fergie’s Pub (which just started Sunday brunch; though maybe they should just stay open from the night before?), MilkBoy and the Arts Bank,where pianist Orrin Evans closes the festivities. Good fest, yes, but I’m miffed at one of its venues: Time.The doubledecker Sansom Street bar, which holds weekly jazz bashes, shuttered one of Philly jazz’s most regularly packed nights — the Back in Time Soul Session Mondays. Doesn’t matter if the audiences were thugs or bugs. It’s about community, one getting smaller every day. Right now, Time’s owners are looking at taking over/making over a purported jazz ristorante at 914 N. Second St. Surely, they want more cred in the jazz community. It’s time to reinstate Back in Time, and let the healing begin. ³ I have loved Keith Brand’s Sunday-morning Sleepy Hollow show on WXPN since he started 25 years ago. (I was a teen intern at the station back when Russell Woessner had that morning shift.) Sleepy Hollow is a mellow mood emanating from a gentle soul. That’s why I was sad to hear that Brand was retiring from radio to focus on, among other things, his transition to becoming chair of Rowan University’s Radio, Television & Film Department. No replacement has been named yet, but so you know, I’m always up at that hour. ³ Speaking of DJs, I found out two things after leaving the “Spring at the Mansion” event at the Philadelphia Art Alliance/Wetherhill Mansion last Friday. One is that the PAA’s Rittenhouse Tavern exec chef Nicholas Elmi is leaving to start his own joint. The other is that DJ and 611 clothing designer/owner Nigel Richards (husband of the “Mansion” event’s boss, Nicole Cashman) has Kickstarted a campaign to produce a men’s fashion collection. ³ The Kandy Project’s Kelicia Pitts hosts a rare solo exhibition by Henry Bermudez at the Crane Arts Building (through June 9, reception tonight). She’s the world’s ultimate model who turned her own life into one giant art project. He’s one of her photographers. Now you know. ³ At the end of April, an alert went up around the Gallery after Philly Chit Chat’s HughE Dillon said that Bloomingdale’s execs had eyeballed the Burlington Coat Factory space. In fact, within the last 10 months, there have been more national-chain-store people checking out the Gallery and its extension shops than there have been shoppers. I’ve been hearing that Bloomies’ rival, theNordstromchain, has been sniffing around the Gallery, too. Waiting to see who sets up shop at 11th and Market is more fun than any soap opera. ³ More about the sad state of the modern soap opera at citypaper.net/criticalmass. (a_amorosi@citypaper.net)

CUE FANFARE: Garrett Brown and Sylvester Stallone on the set of Rocky II. Brown’s demo reel for his new invention the Steadicam involved him chasing his girlfriend up and down the Art Museum steps; director John G. Avildsen saw it and hired him for Rocky. COURTESY GARRETT BROWN

[ film ]

³ ON KUBRICK NOT BLOWING UP HIS SPOT: The great thing

BALLET FOR THE LENS

about this was, unlike most inventions, mine could be demonstrated without giving away how it worked. I could show the results — a reel of impossible shots — and just blow away anybody in Hollywood who knew what was possible and what wasn’t, and give them no clue how it was done. Except that we sent a reel to Stanley Kubrick, very smart guy that he was. He sent back a telex saying, “Yes, this is great and should revolutionize the way films are shot and you can count on me for a customer.” But, he said, “You should be aware there are 14 frames in the middle of your demo that show a shadow on the ground that gives you a very good idea how it worked.” [Laughs.] So we went running into the screening room and sure enough, he was right! We had to clip the 14 frames out of reel.

A talk with Steadicam inventor Garrett Brown. By Bryan Bierman

H

e doesn’t live in Hollywood and laymen might not know his name, but 71-year-old Philadelphian Garrett Brown is an integral part of the way cinema and televised sports look today — he invented both the Steadicam and the Skycam. Before Brown invented the former in the ’70s, movie-camera movement was restricted to heavy rail systems. The Steadicam, a vest-like stabilizer worn by camera operators, introduced the possibility of free-roaming shots that could never have been done before — like Danny’s tricycle ride in The Shining or Rocky running up the Art Museum steps. (Both scenes were actually filmed by Brown himself.) Earlier this month, Brown was inducted into the National Inventors Hall of Fame; we spoke with him about his career, running up the Art Museum steps before it was cool and Stanley Kubrick being a pretty decent guy. ³ ON BEGINNINGS: In 1972, I started doing experiments [on the Steadicam], and had a functional object in 1974. It worked astonishingly well — even the early clumsy, big ones, although they were way too burdensome to ever be commercially successful. I finally went into a hotel for a week and looked at all the drawings over again and forced myself to figure out how to make a smaller, lighter one that could actually handle 35 mm movie cameras.

“Where are those steps and how did you do that?”

³ ON THE ROCKY STEPS: The last shot of that reel was me chasing

my then-girlfriend, now-wife, Ellen, down the Art Museum steps and back up. A lot of people saw that reel; one of them was [John G.] Avildsen, who was setting up Rocky. He found us and said, “Where are those steps and how did you do that?” I ended up, just a few months later, chasing [Sylvester] Stallone up those steps. It was an amazing coincidence. ... They tell me that it’s the second-biggest tourist attraction in Philly. I believe it. Any hour, day or night, and in any weather, which is really a tribute to the whole idea of Rocky. It’s >>> continued on page 20


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[ cheery cotton-candy wisps of melody ] ³ dvd

When Peter Rowan writes and sings of the bluegrass life in “Keepin’ It Between the Lines (Old School),” he does so with authority. In the mid-’60s, Rowan went from college kid to lead singer for Bill Monroe, the man who invented the genre. In the same song, Rowan ventures a bit further than Big Mon might, singing, “There was a place at the table for when Jesus comes/ But somebody took the table and gone.” Save one traditional song, The Old School (Compass) is all plainspoken Rowan originals, including a tribute to the late, lamented Doc Watson. —Mary Armstrong

Coming-of-age movies inevitably see their protagonists through to the next stage of life, but part of being young is asking questions it takes a lifetime to answer. Packaged by Oscilloscope as a two-disc set, the documentaries Only the Young and Tchoupitoulas capture that feeling of open-ended lyricism, the first by shadowing skaters in a parched Southern California ghost town, the latter trailing kids through what seems to be a single New Orleans night (actually shot over nine months). They’re uncommonly beautiful, practically plotless —Sam Adams and especially resonant as a matched pair.

³ rock/pop Not too much changes for The Boy Least Likely To. Theirs remains a twee fairyland of notebook-doodle cartoon covers, anthropomorphized hearts and cheery cotton-candy wisps of melody. Even when they’re singing about heartbreak, death and existential loneliness — as on a considerable portion of the bleakn-cuddly The Great Perhaps (Rough Trade) — they generally sound like they’ve just been given a jumbo-sized lollipop. —K. Ross Hoffman

flickpick

By A.D. Amorosi

³ electronic Tactile Galactics (Beats in Space) is an apt designation for the psychedelic, electronic disco of L.A.’s Eddie Ruscha, whose productions as Secret Circuit bear some family resemblance to the crisp minimalist precision, saturated color and inviting openness of his pop-artist poppa. Galactic fits that meticulous spin on the nebulous cosmic transmissions of Lindstrøm, Prins Thomas, et al, Tactile sums up the vivid clarity and conspicuous thinginess of his sounds: brisk, brittle, highfrequency percs and wormy, spiraling melodics suspended above chewy, acid-touched basslines. —K. Ross Hoffman

[ movie review ]

THE GREAT GATSBY

³ TODD RUNDGREN’S ROOTS are always

showing. For those who love him (and the cult of Runt is a powerful lobby), the ’60s is the era to cherish; that’s when the guitarist moved from the blues and psych-pop he created with Philly bands like Woody’s Truck Stop and the Nazz into blue-eyed soul with a twist. The Upper Darby native developed a large part of his affection for all things R&B from a still-familiar force in this city. “We had a disc jockey by the name of Jerry Blavat who came across as ‘black’ to those radio listeners who didn’t realize that he was this white Jewish-Italian kid from South Philadelphia,” recalls Rundgren. After I reassure him that the Geator is still going, he laughs and says, “No doubt.” As with Blavat, the passionate musicality of R&B, from its hard, shivering rhythms to soft, tender balladry, stayed with Rundgren throughout his career, most notably on hits such as “Real Man” (1975),“The Verb ‘To Love’” (1976), “Can We Still Be Friends?” (1978), and “The Want of a Nail” (1989). “I’ve tended to add something R&B to the proceedings on the assumption that it will make it sound just a little bit more like me,” he says. Yet with his new album, State (Esoteric Antenna), purposely mirroring the cutting-edge soul of his first studio-driven epic, 1973’s A Wizard, A True Star, Rundgren is looking to do more than salt-andpepper the past. He’s focusing on soul-pop with an electro-tech edge. “I wanted to sound — to be — contemporary while still sounding like me,” he says. Runt’s State show will feature electro versions of his hits. (a_amorosi@citypaper.net)

19

✚ Sat., May 11, 8 p.m., $29.50-$32, The Trocadero, 1003 Arch St., 215-922-6888, thetroc.com.

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[ B ] IF YOU’RE ONE to chide Baz Luhrmann for overkill, then you probably also finger-wag frogs for being amphibious. Excess is simply hard-coded into the remarkably unsubtle Aussie’s DNA. But “Bazzing,” which should totally be a term, involves more than just sweeping exteriors and scintillating visuals you can pluck off the screen like ripe fruit. At his best (Romeo + Juliet), Luhrmann is an enchanting revivalist, respecting his source without compromising his own bluster. The Great Gatsby is not his best, but it’s difficult to imagine a contemporary director better suited to take on such a volatile challenge. Tobey Maguire, as F. Scott Fitzgerald stand-in Nick Carraway, brings a clean-shaven calm to his narrator role — he’s comfortable enough beyond his boot-strapping means to tuck us into his breast pocket as he hovers in the estate of his cousin Daisy (Carey Mulligan) and her jock-itch Yalie husband, Tom (Joel Edgerton). Then there’s Mr. Jay Gatsby himself (Leonardo DiCaprio), introduced at one of his famous blowouts with fireworks bursting on every side of his gleaming, tuxedo-framed grin. (Bazzed!) The more Nick gets to know Gatsby, the more he realizes his limitless West Egg neighbor is stuck on one thing his new money can’t buy: the unhappily married Daisy, with whom he carried out a romance before leaving for the Great War. Luhrmann treats the many locales essential to Fitzgerald’s American tragedy as demarcated playgrounds, gilded CGI constructs that rattle with the choreographed cadence of a stage-show chorus that knows it’s being watched. This self-awareness is of a piece with Luhrmann’s sonic selections, an ambitious soundtrack curated by Jay-Z that works more often than not. The movie’s long and sometimes long-winded, and its glitz has obvious effects on the novel’s allegorical value. But anyone upset with Gatsby over its lavish come-ons should remember that Gatsby himself relates to the world the same way. —Drew Lazor

Sweeping exteriors and scintillating visuals.

THE GANG’S ALL HERE: Hollywood darlings Tobey Maguire and Leonardo DiCaprio glitz up Fitzgerald’s classic tale with a little help from Jay-Z.

RUNT TO YOU

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✚ Ballet for the Lens <<< continued from page 18

“It’s a little tough to stand up here and follow the guy who ended WWII.� such a fulfilment of a dream, and people respond to that. That was probably the best of the Rocky series; the second best was [the fourth one], which came back to that kind of heart. Stallone got hugely lucky in the running of those steps scene in that one — it started to snow huge snowflakes, like a gift from the heavens. You never see anything in movies that looks like that. I ran up the steps on I, II, and V. I think he had that scene in every one of them.

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Âł ON THE INVENTORS HALL OF FAME: It was intimidating as hell, because most of these Hall of Fame inductees are the classic guys — the Edisons, the Goodyears, Samuel Colt, Steve Jobs — my God, you know? One of the new inductees is credited with ending World War II — invented LORAN, the navigation stuff. One was the guy who invented the radio telescope; it just went on and on and on. By the time I went on — they had me up last — I was pretty thoroughly intimidated. And I said to these guys, “It’s a little tough to stand up here and follow the guy who ended World War II. My audience is a little fluffier than this.â€? [Laughs.]

[ arts & entertainment ]

Âł ON SEEING HIS INVENTIONS USED EVERYWHERE: It feels

really good. It’s so widespread now [that] when I watch a movie, I often don’t think of how it was made; I’m able to get into the film. My wife will nudge me in the middle of a particularly great Steadicam shot and it’s still a thrill. There’s so many brilliant practitioners and it really is an instrument. It’s an elegant way to move an object in space, which you could never do by hand without the mass and the weightlessness of this thing. You’re guiding it with your fingertips and the result is it makes a really graceful, beautiful move. At its best, it’s like a ballet for the lens. It doesn’t feel like curing cancer or ending WWII, but it’s still an immense amount of fun. ✚ For the full interview with Garrett

Brown, including some very funny stuff about chasing little Danny’s tricycle in The Shining, check out citypaper.net. (Shortcut: ph.ly/steadicam.)


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By Mark Cofta

GARAGE ROCKS ³ ENJOYABLE EVENINGS OF theater are common, and more than adequate. Rarer, however, are the what-the-fuck plays, those experiences that explode instead of unfold, that follow us home and slap us upside the head while we’re trying to sleep. These are playwright Bruce Graham’s specialty. Graham is in the midst of a rich and prolific period of work — he’s had an impressive output of quality and quantity over the past five years, including recent Barrymore-winners Something Intangible and Any Given Monday, Jefferson Award-winner The Outgoing Tide and last summer’s Mr. Hart and Mr. Brown. Nevertheless, taking nothing away from those plays, he’s eclipsed them all with North of the Boulevard, premiered by Theatre Exile. This harrowing drama — infused with Graham’s trademark earthy humor, which in the first act is more outrageous and profane than ever — confronts the vanishing middle class, slowly being squeezed out of existence by a down economy and widespread corruption. It’s December 2008, and Trip (Scott Greer, who, like Graham, hits new heights here) is watching his life crumble like the wall of his struggling independent garage, which has a rogue tree growing through it. (Matt Saunders’ set ironically reverts Exile’s Studio X in South Philly back to its prior incarnation as a garage, complete with a partially disassembled Nissan Sentra center stage.) With his work troubles and all his other woes — disgruntled wife work-

ing retail, son beat up by black toughs at school, customers who don’t pay — Trip still believes in working through “proper channels,” which lead nowhere. Three friends, drawn with quirky detail by Graham and convincingly portrayed, offer solutions. Freeloading senior Zee, played by too-seldom-seen actor Bill Rahill, rails against the world while indulging in Trip’s booze. Early on, the most outrageous lines are his: “Butchy would crawl over his mother’s casket,” he says of a late local politician, “to fuck his sister.” His succinct political views: “I’d let Palin blow me.” More brews than laughs, however. Trip’s best friend, Bear (Lindsay Smiling), is a black security guard who distrusts the recently elected Obama, and fears that he’ll soon be assassinated. Brian McCann plays Zee’s hapless son Larry, a nurse who can’t live up to his late brother’s success, in a startling performance from an actor who usually plays erudite Brits. All three are fueled by escape schemes: thoroughly fuck-it cynic Zee drifts into dreamland on the perfume of a stripper’s used thong; Larry wants to run for mayor and bust the corrupt regime; Bear hopes to score some quick getaway money through a cache of McDonald’s Monopoly game pieces. Trip’s dream of moving just a few miles away to a safer and cleaner neighborhood north of the boulevard (as this is set in Northeast Philly, that’s Roosevelt Boulevard) requires either a windfall or the sacrifice of his independence for a Pep Boys position. These fascinatingly real and rough characters’ bickering and

PAOLA NOGUERAS

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curtaincall

North of the Boulevard

[ arts & entertainment ]

twitchy frustration builds comically through the first act, then Graham gutkicks us right before intermission (no spoilers here). Matt Pfeiffer’s well-tuned production shifts into a new gear, as circumstances offer a fresh, crazy but finally plausible get-out-of-hell opportunity. Trip’s innate nobility emerges — “it’s not right,” he protests, those three words bearing a lifetime’s faith — but a no-strings-attached payday is hard to resist. A powerfully real debate emerges. Can poor and desperate people afford a conscience? Is revenge our right, or does it turn us into our oppressors? Can we ever grow beyond racial fear? Are we doomed to repeat our parents’ mistakes? It’s not some egghead discussion, however; these characters face life-and-death decisions and a ticking clock, an exciting and expertly orchestrated dramatic situation. The both inevitable and frustrating resolution makes North of the Boulevard a play that sticks in the head, the heart and the gut long afterward. (m_cofta@citypaper.net) ✚ Through May 19, $32-$37, Studio X, 1340 S. 13th

St., 215-218-4022, theatreexile.org.


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A L’ECOLE FRANCAISE You Will Love Your French Classes & Amaze Yourself! Registration any time and also Saturday, 5/11 from 9am to 12 noon. alecolefrancaise.com 610.660.9645

CPEVENTSLIST

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Kiss of the Damned

✚ NEW THE GREAT GATSBY Read Drew Lazor’s review on p. 19. (Wide release)

KISS OF THE DAMNED | B

“Unfilmable” is an increasingly popular buzz word in today’s adaptation game, a warning label slapped onto source material that’s simply too dense, too complicated or too outlandish to work onscreen. In the case of Salman Rushdie’s mythic magical-realism opus Midnight’s Children, Deepa Mehta half-sheds the albatross, but she just can’t tighten the screws all the way. A multigenerational epic dissecting India’s national struggles through the frame of family, the story begins with the whimsical courtship of Aadam (Rajat Kapoor) and Naseem (Shabana Azmi), who have three daughters, one of whom (Shahana Goswami) gives birth to eventual protagonist Saleem (Satya Bhabha) at the exact moment of India’s sanctioned emancipation from Great Britain. Except not really: Midwife Mary (Seema Biswas), in an act of class defiance, swaps the well-off clan’s infant with Shiva (Siddharth), the child of a poor street performer, forever linking the two men in a decades-long struggle for independence and identity. It’s hard to think Rushdie, who co-wrote the screenplay with Mehta and narrates the 146-minute marathon, is fully pleased with how the more fantastical elements of his tale translated. Saleem, with one sniff of his prominent nose, can draw together a mystical caucus of every gifted kid born in lockstep with Indian autonomy — “Midnight’s Children.” It’s an imaginative storytelling device in each of our heads, but this adaptation deems a lax sepia overlay and some whooshy sound effects to be an acceptable translation. It’s not necessarily unfilmable, but it shouldn’t have been filmed like this. —Drew Lazor (Ritz Five)

NO ONE LIVES | BTo reveal whether there is truth in titling would spoil the ending of the lean, mean and very bloody thriller No One Lives, so curious genre fans should see it for themselves. In

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The daughter of John Cassavetes and Gena Rowlands, writer-director Xan Cassavetes has underground and art cinema in her blood. Now, her debut narrative feature reveals that she also has a taste for blood. Kiss of the Damned luxuriates in the diaphanous surfaces, otherworldly Goth beauty and surreal dream atmospheres of European filmmakers (like Jean Rollin and Roger Vadim) who dwelled among the sexily vampiric in the 1960s. Cassavetes’ previous film was Z Channel: A Magnificent Obsession, a documentary about the early L.A. pay-cable station devoted to reverentially airing art films in the late ’70s. The cinephilia engendered by seeing those masterworks at an early age has obviously stuck with Cassavetes, whose vampires watch Buñuel films on TV and haunt video stores, a location now almost as mythical as the creatures themselves. Djuna (Joséphine de La Baume) isolates herself from the temptation of humanity until she meets chiseled screenwriter Paolo (Milo Ventimiglia), whom she transforms during a night of shackled desire. She ushers him into a network of high-society nosferati who pass around quality faux-plasma at backstage soirées like vintage wine, but her sister Mimi (Roxane Mesquida), who’s not so careful about what (or who) she drinks, soon arrives to disrupt this cultivated coexistence. Cassavetes vividly captures the feel of her influences, from the old-world glamour to the off-kilter rhythm of the cast’s mish-mosh of accents, crafting a lyrical nocturne with a distinctively impassioned pulse. —Shaun Brady (Ritz at the Bourse)

MIDNIGHT’S CHILDREN | C


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this excessive horror flick Driver (Luke Evans) and Betty (Laura Ramsey) stop at a hotel en route to an undisclosed destination. There is some tension in the couple’s relationship, but it pales in comparison to the drama that transpires when they are captured by a gang of local thieves. At this point, No One Lives introduces a twist it relishes: Driver is far more dangerous than his tormentors. Showing an aptitude for killing in creative ways (we won’t spoil anything), he is soon splashing in buckets of blood and piling up bodies. Although the film is gleefully over-the-top at times — cue needless catfight — Evans is appropriately sinister and relentless. Too bad the lame script sabotages what could have been a decent morality play about

ONE OF THE BOLDEST HORROR STORIES I’ VE SEEN IN A WHILE . Absolutely dripping with atmosphere and stunningly gorgeous cinematography.” – J. Hurtado, Twitch

DAZZLING, WITH A DANGEROUS, SWIRLING EROTICISM. ‘Kiss’ has found a way to make vampirism exhilarating onscreen again.” - Samuel Zimmerman, Fangoria

HER LOVE WILL NEVE DIE. Written & Directed by

of KISS the DAMNED XAN CASSAVETES

LANDMARK THEATRES

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STARTS FRIDAY, MAY 10

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“something good coming out of something horrible.” If No One Lives offers false hopes that it will be a cut above (OK, pun intended) routine “and then there were none” genre entries, it still has its respectable moments. —Gary M. Kramer (Cherry Hill, Neshaminy)

✚ CONTINUING 42 | BBrian Helgeland’s Jackie Robinson biopic is predicated on the baseball legend having, as Harrison Ford’s cartoonishly crusty character puts it, “the guts not to fight back.” That translates into lots of seething in noble silence while racial epithets are hurled in Robinson’s direction. Early in the film, the tense yet muted approach is refreshing in comparison to the constant insistence on inspiration endemic to most hagiographies. But as the Dodgers get closer to the pennant, the tension dissipates and Helgeland’s reserve settles into a tepid simmer. The orchestra ultimately swells and bases are run in ridiculously protracted slow motion, but there are a few unexpected diversions on the way to that inevitable destination. —SB (Wide release)

THE ANGELS’ SHARE | BThe title of Ken Loach’s latest refers to the small percentage of alcohol that evaporates out of the barrel as it ferments. While The Angels’ Share demonstrates the concern with the U.K.’s downtrodden that marks most of Loach’s films, it seems to dissolve into the ether compared to his higher-proof work. Following a vicious fight, Robbie (Paul Brannigan) is sentenced to community service, a reprieve due in part to the imminent birth of his son. Stuck in a brutal section of Glasgow where violent grudges fester for generations,

Robbie is intent on reforming but trapped by circumstance.The chance discovery of his keen nose for whiskey seems to offer an unlikely opportunity for escape to a more elite environment. But at this point, the film makes its first (but not last) abrupt tonal shift, turning into a breezy semi-documentary on the world of whiskey. Loach stands by impassively through it all, imparting no real urgency to the climactic heist. It all goes down smooth, a wee dram for the septuagenarian social realist. —SB (Ritz Five)

an ideal successor to Iron Man constant Jon Favreau. But while the Lethal Weapon brain smudged his fingerprints all over the third, probably-not-last Tony Stark saga, the proceedings are excessive. Sure, it’s a little shortsighted to chide an Iron Man movie for bombast, but Black, working off a script he also co-wrote, detonates so many unbelieva-bombs that any semblance of decorum is shredded. While most of our heroes suffer from some form of PTSD, Stark (Robert Downey Jr.) might be the only one who gets legit panic attacks — he’s knotted up from The Avengers, of

THE COMPANY YOU KEEP | C Robert Redford may view The Company You Keep as the next logical notch in his late-career lefty directorial belt, but it meanders into what’s closer to a pseudo-political Wild Hogs. The action actually starts off spirited, with Sharon Solarz (Susan Sarandon) deliberately setting herself up for arrest by FBI stiff Cornelius (Terrence Howard). A nondescript mother to most, we learn that Solarz is a former Weather Underground operative, on the lam for decades for a bank robbery gone bad. Albany beat reporter Ben Shepard (Shia LaBeouf) senses more to the story, leading him to the revelation that well-liked, recently widowed local lawyer Jim Grant (Redford) is actually the assumed identity of Nick Sloan, another infamous radical implicated in the crime. As Sloan scrambles to clear his name, tapping into a network of associates that reads like the guest list at Gene Hackman’s last cookout, we’re pummeled with dragging dialogue, inessential twists and a preponderance of nostalgic lamentations. —DL (Ritz Five, Rave)

IRON MAN 3 | C An action-flick outlier with a knack for smartassery, Shane Black seems like

course, and it’s affecting his relationship with the exasperated Pepper Potts (Gwyneth Paltrow). Things take a crappier turn once cunning Mandarin (Ben Kingsley), Stark’s greatest nemesis in the comics, begins broadcasting terroristic messages on national TV. There are some striking SFX at work here, and Black does well keeping Stark’s motives congruous with past installments. It’s just that this is the super-sequel equivalent of ordering a single shot and receiving a quintuple. —DL (Wide release)

THE LORDS OF SALEM | BIndustrial-metal auteur Rob Zombie has made a surprisingly successful transition to film, but he’s spent most of the last decade rebooting the Halloween franchise, with a pit stop on

[ movie shorts ]

CSI: Miami. But The Lords of Salem isn’t a return to form so much as to Zombie’s roots, back before the psychotronic splatter that inspired House of 1000 Corpses and The Devil’s Rejects. (There’s even a visual shout-out to George Méliès’ A Trip to the Moon.) In essence, Salem is an updated riff on Village of the Damned, with atmosphere by way of Coffin Joe. The director’s wife, Sheri Moon Zombie, plays a nighttime DJ who receives a mysterious slab of vinyl credited to the titular band; its looping drone instills a sort of hypnosis/possession in all who hear it. When Moon is on the mic with her fellow jockeys, there’s a loving ease to their cross talk, but the movie’s spooky mechanics are flecked with rust. Once the latex wrinkles and witch-trial flashbacks start, any sense of fright goes up in smoke. —Sam Adams (Wide release)

MUD | BA Mark Twain-inspired pulp fairy tale, Mud is a story of doomed love through the eyes of an adolescent boy who wants more than anything to believe in a romantic ideal. Matthew McConaughey sports crooked teeth and skin cured like jerky as Mud, a drifter whom two young Arkansas boys discover living in a boat stuck in the branches of a tree following a flood. One of the boys, Ellis (Tye Sheridan), has just learned that his parents are divorcing at the same time that he’s suffering the pangs of a first love. Through his eyes, the reality of his elders looks spoiled and rotten, whereas Mud’s desperate attempts to evade his pursuers and reunite with his Juniper (Reese Witherspoon) seems the only true romance to be found. Director/writer Jeff

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Log on to WWW.CITYPAPER.NET/WIN to win a family four-pack of screening passes! EPIC HAS BEEN RATED PG FOR MILD ACTION, SOME SCARY IMAGES, AND BRIEF RUDE LANGUAGE. Please Note: Passes received through this promotion do not guarantee you a seat at the theater. Seating is on a first-come, first-served basis, except for the members of the reviewing press. Theater is overbooked to ensure a full house. No admittance once screening has begun. All federal, state and local regulations apply. A recipient of tickets assumes any and all risks related to use of ticket, and accepts any restrictions required by ticket provider. 20th Century Fox, Philadelphia City Paper and their affiliates accept no responsibility or liability in connection with any loss or accident incurred in connection with use of a prize. Tickets cannot be exchanged, transferred or redeemed for cash, in whole or in part. We are not responsible if, for any reason, recipient is unable to use his/her ticket in whole or in part. All federal and local taxes are the responsibility of the winner. Void where prohibited by law. No purchase necessary. Participating sponsors, their employees and family members and their agencies are not eligible. NO PHONE CALLS! ALL ENTRIES MUST BE IN BY MONDAY, MAY 13TH AT 6PM. NO CELLULAR PHONES OR ELECTRONIC DEVICES WILL BE ALLOWED IN THE SCREENING.

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PAIN & GAIN | C-

THE RELUCTANT FUNDAMENTALIST | B-

Michael Bay’s accomplished many things in his double middle finger salute of a career, but he’s never quite captured weird. Man, has he made up for lost time with Pain & Gain, a paean to a real-life South Florida crime spree that irresponsibly makes light of people getting chopped apart by psychopaths. A fast-talking personal trainer upset with his limited earning power, Daniel Lugo (Mark Wahlberg) wants more. No longer content to keep his ambitions legal, he recruits fellow juiceheads Adrian (Anthony Mackie) and Paul (Dwayne Johnson) to kidnap jerkoff rich guy client Victor (Tony Shalhoub) and shake him down for all his cash. Fast money, drugs, steroids, paranoia — none of that mixes well, and the trio’s descent into madness, and eventually murder, is plucked for laughs throughout. —DL (Wide release)

THE PLACE BEYOND THE PINES | B

Graced by sleek, clean white curves and gorgeous digital vistas, Joseph Kosinski’s Oblivion is a stunning iApocalypse. But like the director’s previous film, the Daft Punk video passing as a sequel Tron: Legacy, the film is vapidly pretty, utterly empty of ideas beyond, “That would look neat.” The plot seems as if someone dropped their prized collection of dystopian scifi scripts and the pages got shuffled to-

An ambitious drama that hits more than it misses, Derek Cianfrance’s follow-up to Blue Valentine is to 1950s melodrama what Cloud Atlas was to 1950s sci-fi. Opening with an unbroken shot of the tattooed back of Luke (Ryan Gosling) as he moves through a circus and into a motorcycle cage, The Place Beyond the Pines announces itself as a death- or at least convention-defying feat, span-

✚ REPERTORY FILM ANDREW’S VIDEO VAULT The Rotunda, 4014 Walnut St., 215-573-3234, therotunda.org. The Couch (1962, U.S., 99 min.) and All the Pretty Maids in a Row (1971, U.S., 92 min.): A psycho killer tries talk therapy, and a high school gym teacher played by Rock Hudson deflowers his students before devouring ’em. Thu., May 9, continuous double feature from 8 p.m., free.

BRYN MAWR FILM INSTITUTE

the statement itself, The Reluctant Fundamentalist is paradoxical, but the personalities filling the space between disparate traditions are too inconsistent to land squarely. Born into modest middle-class comfort in Pakistan, Changez secures a visa and admission to Princeton. There, the charismatic student makes an immediate impression on Jim Cross (Kiefer Sutherland), who hires Changez as an analyst at his Wall Street firm. Changez becomes more

824 W. Lancaster Ave., Bryn Mawr, 610-527-9898, brynmawrfilm.org. Babette’s Feast (1987, Denmark, 102 min.): The new pope’s favorite movie will be introduced by Solomon Katz, editor of The Encyclopedia of Food and Culture. Tue., May 14, 7 p.m., $10.50.

[ movie shorts ]

min.): A young Diane Lane and Laura Dern start a punk-rock band and members of The Clash and The Sex Pistols cameo. Presented by Ladyfest. Go ’head grrrl. Fri., May 10, 8 p.m., $9. Antonio Gaudi (1984, Japan, 72 min.): Hiroshi Teshigahara’s film is a love letter from one visual poet to another. Sat., May 11, 7 p.m., $9. Chinese Take-Away (2011, Argentina/Spain, 93 min.): A shop owner meets Jun, a Chinese man lost in Buenos Aires with an address tattooed on his arm. Tue., May 14, 7 p.m., free with RSVP.

RITZ AT THE BOURSE 400 Ranstead St., 215-440-1181, landmarktheaters.com. Ghostbusters (1984, U.S., 105 min.): The Ivy League’s loss was your TV-saturated childhood’s gain. Eat your heart out, Columbia University Dept. of Psychology. Fri., May 10, midnight, $10.

SCRIBE VIDEO CENTER 4212 Chestnut St. third floor, 215222-4201, scribe.org. TEZA (2008, Ethiopia/Germany/France, 140 min.): Haile Gerima’s latest focuses on the undertold story of Africa’s brain drain through an Ethiopian doctor’s perilous return home. Fri., May 10, 7 p.m., $5.

INTERNATIONAL HOUSE 3701 Chestnut St., 215-387-5125, ihousephilly.org. Black Box/White Cube:A multi-feature of German experimental filmmaker Harun Farocki’s recent work. Thu., May 9, 7 p.m., $9. Ladies and Gentlemen, The Fabulous Stains (1982, U.S., 87

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BEYOND THE DARKNESS LIES GREATNESS

INVITES YOU AND A GUEST TO ATTEND AN ADVANCE SCREENING OF EXPERIENCE IT IN

and

To download passes go to WWW.GOFOBO.COM/RSVP and enter RSVP code CITY6950 With Hasbro’s KRE-O Star Trek building sets and KREON Star Trek figures, kids and fans can recreate the fantasy world of Star Trek by building a variety of intergalactic space vehicles based on the upcoming Star Trek Into Darkness film from Paramount Pictures. Enter to win this and a STAR TREK INTO DARKNESS prize pack along with a copy of the official film soundtrack by sending an email to PHILLY@43KIX.COM. Soundtrack available on Varèse Sarabande on May 14th featuring music by Academy Award-winning composer Michael Giacchino

THIS FILM IS RATED PG-13. Under 13 requires accompanying parent or adult guardian. Please note: Passes received through this promotion do not guarantee you a seat at the theatre. Seating is on a first come, first served basis, except for members of the reviewing press. Theatre is overbooked to ensure a full house. No purchase necessary. Participating sponsors, their employees and family members and their agencies are not eligible.

StarTrekMovie.com

27

IN THEATERS ON MAY 15th! IN THEATRES WIDE ON MAY 16

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OBLIVION | C-

“I’m a lover of America,” Changez (Riz Ahmed) tells journalist Bobby (Liev Schreiber) in a spartan Lahore student cafe, “although I was raised to feel very Pakistani.” Since director Mira Nair specializes in formulating questions about identity, it’s an effective nut graf for her adaptation of Mohsin Hamid’s best-seller. Like

and more assimilated, even entering a relationship with Erica (Kate Hudson), the fragile niece of his company’s CEO. But the tragedies of Sept. 11 and the subsequent xenophobia Changez experiences force him to question America’s role in Indo-Pak relations, leading him back to a university teaching post in Lahore. Ahmed is commanding as the conflicted firebrand, his torment over who he could be versus who he should be both buoyant and believable. The same can’t be said for most everyone else. —DL (Ritz East)

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The canonization of Mumia AbuJamal continues apace in Stephen Vittoria’s documentary, which attempts to insinuate the radical journalist and death-row inmate into a lineage stretching from Frederick Douglass to Fred Hampton. Long-Distance Revolutionary hums along smoothly when it explores that lineage, often forgetting its ostensible subject for long periods of time and nearly eliding the crime that made him famous. Since there’s little real doubt that Abu-Jamal shot Officer Daniel Faulkner, Vittoria shifts focus to the absurd claim that he is a political prisoner, drafting a host of intellectuals to make glib generalizations about Philadelphia’s history. It’s eminently possible to claim Abu-Jamal as an eloquent social critic who made one terrible mistake, but the film would rather peddle a simplistic narrative that not only warps Abu-Jamal’s story, but the history of racial oppression in the U.S. —SA (Ritz at the Bourse)

ning decades without succumbing to sprawl. When Luke’s circus swings through Schenectady, he discovers the previous year’s fling with Romina (Eva Mendes) left him with a son. He turns to crime to support the child, which sets him on a collision course with rookie cop Avery (Bradley Cooper), resulting in an encounter with echoes that linger as their sons grow up together. —SA (Ritz East)

a&e

MUMIA: LONG-DISTANCE REVOLUTIONARY | D

gether. Tom Cruise plays a technician left on Earth after a war to repair – no, let’s face it, Tom Cruise plays WALL-E. Cruise shoots a few more guns and the Pixar creation is a tad taller, but you don’t have to be a Disney lawyer to see the similarities in a handyman stuck on a desolate Earth, keeping a few flowers in a rusty can and scavenging remnants of the former civilization. —SB (Wide release)

the naked city | feature

Nichols maintains a delicate balance between the Southern-fried realism of Ellis’ home life and the fantasy of his secret alliance with Mud until it collapses in an avalanche of melodrama, with the bitter tinge of disillusionment remaining. —SB (Ritz Five)


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agenda

the

LISTINGS@CITYPAPER.NET | MAY 9 - MAY 15

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the agenda

[ susurrating waves of tone and timbre ]

EVERYBODY IN VESTS: Colin Stetson plays World Café Live on Friday. BRANTLEY GUTIERREZ

The Agenda is our selective guide to what’s going on in the city this week. For comprehensive event listings, visit citypaper.net/listings.

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IF YOU WANT TO BE LISTED:

Submit information by email (listings@citypaper.net) to Caroline Russock or enter it yourself at citypaper.net/submit-event with the following details: date, time, address of venue, telephone number and admission price. Incomplete submissions will not be considered, and listings information will not be accepted over the phone.

THURSDAY

5.9 [ theater ]

✚ FAILURE: A LOVE STORY Azuka Theatre’s second annual New Professionals production is the East Coast premiere of Philip Dawkins’ Failure: A Love Story, a big hit at Chicago’s Victory Gardens Theater. (The Chicago Sun-

Times called it “enchanted and enchanting.”) NP features recent college graduates just entering the pro ranks, but the efforts, resources and results, as last spring’s Hazard County showed, are equal to Azuka’s main-stage productions. In Failure, the Fail sisters — Nelly (Mary Beth Shrader), Gerty (Isa St. Clair) and Jenny June (Tabitha Allen) — live in 1928 Chicago, secluded in a private shop full of talking clocks, parakeets and occasional peril. Then stranger Mortimer Mortimer (Kevin Meehan, the cast’s acting mentor) arrives and changes their lives forever. Recent Arcadia grads Robin Stamey (lights) and Amanda Sharp (costumes), along with Point Park grad Lindsey Mayer (sets) and Drexel student Toby Pettit (sound), join director Allison Heischman to create the show’s magic, music and mystery. —Mark Cofta Through May 26, $18-$27, Off-Broad Street Theatre, 1636 Sansom St., 215563-1100, azukatheatre.org.

FRIDAY

5.10 [ experimental ]

✚ COLIN STETSON The sounds that Colin Stetson conjures up with his saxophones, especially the honking humongous bass sax, constitute some of the strangest, most remarkable music out there. First there’s the physical fact of its creation. Even understanding how he does it — circular breathing technique, multiphonics, vocalizing through the horn, close-mic-ing his breath and clacking keys — and even when confronted with the huffing, puffing muscularity of his live performances, it still feels mystical, unfathomable, beyond the reach of human capability. It’s no less astonishing as pure sound: churning, cycling, susurrating waves of tone and timbre that, in the service of his meticu-

lous, minimalist compositions, can be savagely disturbing, hauntingly eerie, lulling and mesmeric. To See More Light (Constellation), the final volume of Stetson’s enigmatic New History Warfare trilogy, finds his Bon Iver bandmate Justin Vernon turning up, somewhat incongruously, to contribute ethereal multi-tracked harmonies and guttural, cod-metal barking. But it’s not like we needed the distraction. —K. Ross Hoffman Fri., May 10, 8 p.m., $14-$15, with Sarah Neufeld, World Café Live, 3025 Walnut St., 215-222-1400, worldcafelive.com.

[ world ]

✚ DENDÊ When iTunes calls a CD you pop into your computer “unclassifiable” — as with Dendê’s self-released Back to Bahia — expect adventure. Dendê and his banda do a convincing job of not just Bahian indigenous music but all the sounds popular there: a blazing merengue, a

dab of samba-reggae, Brazilian flute. Let’s add Rio-style funk with a suggestion of Afro-pop, plus some flamenco riffs, too. This band really lives the idea of world music, a bit from here, some from there and all owned by the players. There’s nothing tentative in these tunes. —Mary Armstrong Fri., May 10, 7 p.m., $30, Barnes Foundation, 2025 Benjamin Franklin Parkway, 215-278-7000, barnesfoundation.org.

[ jazz ]

✚ TREVOR HEALY Fire Museum Records honcho Steven Tobin has handed over the reins of his concert series at Highwire Gallery to guitarist Eric Carbonara for much of May, so it should come as no surprise that this Friday’s show features a night of solo guitar. Locals Travis Woodson and Jesse Sparhawk will perform, followed by a set by Trevor Healy, a luthier and guitarist based in Easthampton, Mass. “The main intention behind

the show,” Carbonara says, “is to showcase the intimate relationship an individual has with his/her instrument.” Healy is a particularly pronounced example of that intention, as each of his guitars is personally designed and hand-built by the artist himself. Healy worked with renowned Brooklyn guitarmaker Roger Sadowsky before setting out on his own, and now performs mesmerizing solo compositions that reflect influences ranging from John Fahey to Fugazi, blending delicate fingerstyle playing with specular drones and post-rock grooves. —Shaun Brady Fri., May 10, 9:15 p.m., $6-$8, with Jesse Sparhawk and Travis Woodson, Highwire Gallery, 2040 Frankford Ave., museumfire.com/events.

[ rock/pop ]

✚ MARNIE STERN It’s easy to be intimidated by Marnie Stern. The guitar virtuoso’s first three albums are dense in every sense, packed with notes, noise and helium-


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asks in “Noonan.” The payoff comes six songs later, in “Proof of Life”: “I am something/ I am someone.” Without a doubt. —M.J. Fine Fri., May 10, 8 p.m., $12, with Barren Girls and Little Big League, Johnny Brenda’s, 1201 N. Frankford Ave., 215-739-9684, johnnybrendas.com.

SATURDAY

5.11 [ arts/crafts ]

technique in the way. Stern herself has expressed doubt about the new approach, but to go by her lyrics, doubt is her natural state. To her credit, she eventually answers each of her existential questions. “Don’t you want to be somebody?” she

✚ ART STAR CRAFT BAZAAR Sure, this year’s Art Star Craft Bazaar, as per usual, will feature sculptures, crafts and curiosities from more than 100 independent vendors — including Melo Studios candles,

custom bike accessories from Fabric Horse and a wide selection of cute-aggression-inducing baby overalls courtesy of Overall Baby. That’s a given. But stay for the food and live art demonstrations. The Clay Studio will offer a demo on the Claymation process while silkscreeners from Candy Coated will host a screen-printing T-shirt make-and-take. There’s plenty of live local music as well, including alt-country salty dogs The Bailey Hounds and South Philly’s Arrah and the Ferns. —Marc Snitzer Sat.-Sun., May 11-12, 11 a.m.-6 p.m., Great Plaza at Penn’s Landing, Chestnut Street and Columbus Boulevard, 215238-1557, artstarcraftbazaar.com.

[ pop/soul/electronic ]

✚ JAMES BLAKE With his self-titled 2011 debut, James Blake emerged, already

somehow reluctantly, as the first, de facto poster boy for the still-exotic-seeming dubstep genre. Two years down the line, that label has seen so many boundary disputes and tastemaker redistrictings that, wherever it may be at in 2013, it’s got almost nothing to do with the dreamily glorious music contained on the U.K. producer’s second LP. It’s not, as some have feared, that he’s simply yielded to his flickering singer-songwriter inclinations. Indeed, while he remains a formidable singer, it’s curious to note that, aside from covering Feist and Joni Mitchell (and, on “The Wilhelm Scream,” his little-known prog-rocker father), he’s rarely trafficked in “songs” per se, preferring to loop and tweak a single verse or line of his burnished, gospel-inflected crooning (or, in one instance, RZA’s slightly dubious rapping) against a

CH

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[ the agenda ]

rich, deftly mutating sonic backdrop. Sidestepping genre distinctions almost entirely, Overgrown (Universal Republic) opts to play it all ways, showcasing Blake’s heart-tugging, sensitive-soul vocals and somber, nocturnal pianism beside forward-thinking

SUNDAY

5.12

NABIL

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MICHAEL BENABIB

classifieds | food

high vocals. But her latest, The Chronicles of Marnia (Kill Rock Stars), brings relief from the mania. With a relatively restrained Kid Millions taking over drum duties from brutalist Zach Hill and producer Nicolas Vernhes pushing Stern’s vocals to the fore, it’s satisfying to hear her songs without so much

[ rock/pop ]

✚ PHOENIX

beat science, including some surprisingly tough-edged slomo funk and some awesomely clipped, Portishead-style ride cymbals. Win-win. —K. Ross Hoffman Sat., May 11, 8 p.m., $35, with FaltyDL, TLA, 334 South St., 215-922-1011, livenation.com.

Phoenix has had quite the majestic rise, from quirky secondtier French electro-pop band to a head-scratching headlining slot at Coachella. They’ve done it on the wings of an absolutely killer run of singles — their eventual best-of comp’s gonna be a firecracker — but, impressively, without sacrificing or even really toning down their considerable eccentricities: the evocatively meaningless accidental poetry of Thomas Mars’

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[ the agenda ]

rgaicr THURSDAY 5.9 STUNTLOCO

DJ SYLO & COOL HAND LUKE

----------------------------------------FRIDAY 5.10 PEX VS PLAYLOOP LEE MAYJAHS? DJ EVERYDAY ----------------------------------------SATURDAY 5.11 DJ DEEJAY ----------------------------------------MONDAY 5.13

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M A Y 9 - M A Y 1 5 , 2 0 1 3 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T

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³ MASTURBATION MONTH

UP THERAPY BAR

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sexytime Meg Augustin gets our rocks off

citypaper.net/notes

You probably know that May is the month of mothers and includes drinking holidays like Cinco de Mayo and the Kentucky Derby. You may have even known that it’s National Bike Month. But did you also know that May is National Masturbation Month? That’s right, despite the warming weather, we want you to go inside and get it on — with yourself. Philly-based sex-ed crew Screw Smart is kicking off the celebration right with Masturbate-a-Thon! Teaming up with the Gay and Lesbian Latino AIDS Education Initiative’s PleasureRush! initiative, Screw Smart is bringing the worldwide competition to Philly, asking participants to collect pledges from supporters for every hour that they pleasure themselves. Everyone can enter, and it works via honor code — so no fibbing! Just look for the CrowdRise link on screwsmart.com. All proceeds will benefit the prevention and education efforts of PleasureRush! and Screw Smart. Finally, a guilt-free way to flick the bean and beef the jerky. And that’s the point. Masturbate-a-Thon is all about reducing the stigma around self-pleasure and sex in general. “Just by starting the conversation about masturbation gives people the green light to enjoy themselves,” notes Screw Smart crew member Rebecca Alvarez. “It may seem strange at first, but the absurdity of it gets people talking and sharing. We also believe that, quite basically, it gives folks an excuse to jerk off for as long as they like. Sometimes a little permission goes a long way.” The feel-good competition ends May 27, giving you lots of time to get off with your right hand or vibrating best friend. When you’ve wrapped up and cleaned up and are reintroduced to sunlight, Screw Smart invites you to Creamium!, the capstone project of cumming. Creamium! will feature a dance party, a naughty game of Cranium (hence the pun) and the crowning of the Winners of Wanking. Categories include most orgasms, most hours devoted and most creative fantasy. After partying with one for a month, it will feel pretty good to party with many. Masturbate-a-Thon, through May 27. Creamium!, Fri., May 31, 9 p.m., $5-$10, Ruba Social Club, 416 Green St., screwsmart.com. (megan.augustin@citypaper.net) Meg Augustin is a freelance journalist with a master’s in human sexuality education.

lyrics; their commitment to a garishly synthetic production aesthetic that should feel faceless but is somehow actually unmistakable; a defiantly nonlinear approach to song structure wherein ample hooks rarely conform to verse-chorus pieties. Bankrupt! (Glassnote/ Loyaute), their fifth album, is the first to feel comfortable rather than hungry — doubling down on established terrain instead of grazing new stylistic pastures — and their most idiosyncratic. It’s also the first whose contributions to their stuffed canon of hits aren’t blindingly obvious, if only because, mirroring Mars’ ruminations on jet-set excess, it’s their most thoroughly lav-

ish and consistent work, more of an album-length suite than a set of pop hits. —K. Ross Hoffman Sun., May 12, 2 p.m., $29.50-$69, WRFF 104.5 FM Birthday Show with Paramore, Passion Pit, Silversun Pickups, The Mighty Mighty Bosstones, Airborne Toxic Event and twenty one pilots, Susquehanna Bank Center, 1 Harbour Blvd, Camden, N.J., 215-3362000, livenation.com.

[ rock/pop ]

✚ LADY LAMB THE BEEKEEPER Aly Spaltro, the electrifying force behind Lady Lamb the Beekeeper, claims she first wrote and recorded her songs in the Brunswick, Maine, video store where she worked,


exacted via vinyl records. Along for the ride is a cast of Wu regulars, plus Philly soul icon William Hart, fresh from the Delfonics’ recent Youngehelmed revival album. —K. Ross Hoffman

MONDAY

food | classifieds

Sun., May 12, 9 p.m., $25-$30, with Chill Moody, Voss and Grand Lux, The Blockley, 3801 Chestnut St., 215-2221234, theblockley.com.

the agenda

SHERVIN LAINEZ

[ the agenda ]

the naked city | feature | a&e

forging her sound after-hours just past the Drama and Horror racks. Her choice of atelier couldn’t be more apt. Ripely Pine (Ba Da Bing) is a sprawling, visceral listen, with frequent references to pooled blood, fertile fruit and lovers’ limbs gnawed in lust. The album title is culled from the bold, lengthy passage that opens “The Nothing Part 2,” which climaxes with a readymade sing-along. Spaltro’s

5.13 voice swells from calm to fevered to bombastic, her fingers expertly building tension on banjo and electric guitar. “I am intent on paying attention again to my own cracked compass, steady-handed,” she sings on “Taxidermist, Taxidermist.” Cracked or not, Spaltro’s compass hasn’t steered her wrong yet. —M.J. Fine Sun., May 12, 8 p.m., $8-$10, with Xenia Rubinos and Slow Warm Death, World Café Live, 3025 Walnut St., 215222-1400, worldcafelive.com.

[ hip-hop ]

✚ GHOSTFACE KILLAH/ADRIAN YOUNGE

✚ ODEAN POPE/ ANDREW CYRILLE Given how active, prolific and adventurous the free-jazz community was in the 1960s, it’s difficult to fathom that every possible combination of musicians might not have been exhausted during the course of that decade or the ones following. But next Monday will mark the first time that tenor saxophonist Odean Pope and drummer Andrew Cyrille, both charter members of that scene who have continued to make vital and inventive music since, will play together as a duo. Both forged fruitful partnerships with forwardlooking jazz legends (Cyrille with Cecil Taylor, Pope with Max Roach) before carving their own influential paths. Together, the two can be expected to bring the fire of free-jazz past combined with the intellectual and emotional discovery that has long marked their respective sounds. —Shaun Brady Mon., May 13, 8 p.m., free, The Rotunda, 4014 Walnut St., arsnovaworkshop.com.

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Ghostface has been plenty prolific in recent years, but his latest project is a particularly enjoyable one. A full-on collaboration with composer/producer/cratedigging sample scholar Adrian Younge, Twelve Reasons to Die (Soul Temple) is a beautifully conceptualized narrative rap opus — doubling as a series of comic books — that pits Ghost’s lively yarn-spinning against sinister beatscapes, steeped in ’70s Italian film soundtracks and psychedelic soul from Younge’s band Venice Dawn. The openly referential but neatly self-contained narrative is the stuff of Wu Tang/Marvel comic-book dreams, recycling familiar blaxploitation archetypes and reinventing the Tony Starks/Ghostface personae in a tale of mafiosi warfare, double-crossing, reincarnation and sweet posthumous revenge

[ jazz ]


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f&d

foodanddrink

amusebouche By Adam Erace

PIE ASPIRATIONS PIZZERIA BEDDIA | 115 E. Girard Ave., pizzeriabeddia.com. Hours: Wed.-Sat., 5:30-10:30 p.m. Pizzas, $18-$25.

³ LIKE HIS DOUGH, Joe Beddia’s designs on pizzeria ownership have been long fermenting. The lanky pizzaiolo grew up in Lancaster with two uncles who owned pie shops and a grandmother who baked bread for fried-pepper sandwiches. He moved to Philly to brew at Yards, an education in fermentation that dovetailed with a budding passion for pizza. Beddia consumed books about pizza and paid tribute at the hallowed temples in Phoenix, Brooklyn and Naples. He staged at Osteria, moved to Wisconsin to make pies at the famed Pizzeria Brutta and came back to do the same at Zavino. But it was a trip to Japan, to brew beer with the gods at Hitachino, that crystallized his ambitions. “I knew I didn’t want to run a restaurant. In Japan I saw all these little one-person operations, everyone concentrating on one thing,” Beddia says. “I love the idea of that, mastering one thing.” And that’s exactly what Beddia is doing at his eponymous pizzeria, where the dough ferments 36 to 48 hours and the extra becomes strong Italian sourdough loaves baked on Wednesdays. Behind the counter, Beddia works his craft. The kitchen eats up more than half this corner-plot space, leaving only a few sunny windowsills, a selfserve water canteen and pair of butcher-block pub tables. It’s BYOB and BYOC. The “C” is for chairs. The lack of stools doesn’t bother me — I’m the kind of person who stands at a bar — but I could see how it might bug others. Beddia might also want to consider seats for lawsuit prevention; his pizzas are so knee-weakeningly good, twice I almost plummeted to the floor. Only two or three pies are offered nightly, including the mainstay red No.1 pie, with its fresh and dried mozzarella, Old Gold (a local aged Gouda whose sharpness stands in for Parm) and deeply crimson, crushed-Jersey-tomato base. “I thought, ‘What’s the most Italian thing I could do?’ And it was to use tomatoes from New Jersey instead of ones from Pompeii,” Beddia says. House-picked Serrano chilies are a nice touch for acid and heat. The No. 2 is Beddia’s white, a canvas of rich local cream and mozzarella accessorized seasonally. I got ramps, kale, bacon — and tinfoil to take home the extra. As I left I got a heartfelt thanks from Beddia, who bids each customer arrivaderci. He almost glows with gratitude. We should be the ones thanking him. (adam.erace@citypaper.net)

DRY CURED: Kevin Weidamoyer dusts pork belly with Cherry Bomb rub. JESSICA KOURKOUNIS

[ curing room ]

SALT AND TIME Three average Joes are banking on bacon. By Shaun Brady

W

hen Bryan Cohen moved back to Lansdale from Ohio in 2010, he was simply looking for a nice suburban neighborhood where he could raise his kids. It wasn’t until he began to smell the smoke wafting from his neighbors’ yards that he realized he’d lucked into a rabidly barbecue-centric corner of suburbia. “The way we got connected was providence,” Cohen says, leaning against a rack filled with dry rubs in the MontCo shop of the neighbors’ new enterprise, Bespoke Bacon. “We’re all tortured foodies. All three of us not only like food, but we want to make something awesome More on: and different. I could have bought a house anywhere, and I buy a house next to two guys who love food as much as I do.” Cohen’s house directly abuts Kevin Weidamoyer’s — they’ve cut a hole in their shared fence to allow their kids easier access to each other’s yards. Third partner Brian Wolfinger lives three doors down, and once the three of them got together it didn’t take long before the juices started flowing. “It was maybe the second or third time I met Brian that we sat down and accidentally came up with the idea for the company,” Cohen recalls. “The three of us were sitting on our friend’s back porch drinking beer at his son’s birthday party, and Brian said, ‘I

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want to make some bacon.’” The trio started brainstorming recipes and taste-testing them on family and friends; by their second hundred-pound batch of pork bellies, they were receiving offers to buy the savory results. Bespoke Bacon’s website went up last October, while the nascent business was still being run out of their homes. In March, they shifted operations to a 400-square-foot space in a former meat-processing facility in Telford, where they share cooler space with a butcher shop. “We had dates where our wives would come over, the kids would be playing, and three or four of us would be standing over the table slicing stuff up. It really is the essence of a homegrown business,” Cohen says, casting a glance around the shop. “The wives don’t come up here anymore. This is more of a man cave.” Bespoke Bacon gets its name from their made-to-order attitude, emphasizing the company’s artisanal MORE FOOD AND approach and ability to custom-design DRINK COVERAGE flavors. Not everyone quite gets the name. AT C I T Y P A P E R . N E T / Some have misread it as “Bes’ Poke,” a M E A LT I C K E T. drawling approximation of “Best Pork” — a misinterpretation that the partners don’t mind. The company sources its pork bellies from family-owned farms within a 100-mile radius of Philadelphia, unless they receive special requests for specific breeds. All of their bacon is dry-cured, as opposed to the wet-cure method used by major manufacturers in which a brine is injected into the meat, speeding the process. Once the cure is applied, the pork ages for seven to 10 days, then is coldsmoked over charcoal or wood for about eight hours to impart the smoke flavor without fully cooking the meat. >>> continued on adjacent page


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[ food & drink ]

✚ Salt and Time <<< continued from previous page

The company’s T-shirts make puns like “Bacon Gives Me a Lardon.” gracetavern.com

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“Bacon in and of itself is incredibly easy to make,” Cohen says. “You basically need salt and time.” What sets Bespoke’s bacon apart, they say, is their reliance on the traditional dry-curing method and their flavors. They currently offer a dozen variants, from basic cures to Jamaican jerk, honey apple, Szechuan and “Volcano,” which combines the three hottest peppers known to man. (That last one was designed for a group of U.S. Marshals who were looking for something more scorching than Bespoke’s jalapeño-cilantro flavor.) They’re constantly looking for new flavor combinations (“I made a tequila one that was horrible,” Cohen shrugs) and uses for their own product — Weidamoyer suggests the Bloody Mary flavor for BLTs. They’ve also recently started offering pancetta and guanciale, and hope to add a curing chamber for salami and other Italian cured meats. They’ve teamed up with their neighboring business, Back Home Butcher Shop, to offer a bacon burger with Bespoke’s bacon mixed into the patties. Prism Brewing in North Wales has created a chocolate stout using their bacon, which Bespoke has then turned into a bacon jam. Next month, they’ll offer a course at Audrey Claire’s Cook on basic meat curing and recipes utilizing bacon. “Most people who eat bacon eat it in the morning for breakfast,” Cohen says. “That just means there’s two other meals where you’re not eating bacon.” Family men with day jobs (Cohen manages web development for a pharmaceutical company, Weidamoyer is a tree surgeon and stay-at-home dad, Wolfinger is a VP at a digital-forensics firm), the Bespoke team splits the difference between food snobs and six-packers. “I’m the average Joe,” Weidamoyer says, gesturing to his T-shirt and jeans. “The other day I had to wear a suit and it had my senior-prom ticket in the pocket. So we’re reaching out to everybody.” The obstacle for most average Joes, they realize, is price. They offer their bacon for $10.99 a pound, a steep increase over the supermarket variety. “Most people don’t have a brand preference for bacon,” Cohen admits. “Ask somebody what their favorite bacon is, and it’s whatever’s cheapest. You can get two pounds for six bucks, and it might be the crappiest bacon you’ve ever had, but it’s still bacon — it’s like pizza, it’s still good. But we want to be like a microbrew of bacon.” There’s a camaraderie that characterizes the Bespoke atmosphere, one which has simply transferred the backyard barbecue into a small industrial facility. Grunge from the ’90s plays from an iPhone, while the company’s T-shirts reference the latest YouTube craze or make smirking puns like “Bacon Gives Me a Lardon.” “We’re doing this because we enjoy it and because we’re three passionate food guys,” Cohen says. “We don’t have to pay the mortgage with the money we make here.” “Once it stops being fun, that’s when it’s work,” Weidamoyer adds. “And we don’t want to work.” (s_brady@citypaper.net)


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what’scooking

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food

E. MADIGRAL

By Carly Szkaradnik

³ THE WEEK IN EATS Opening day at Morgan’s Pier Thu., May 9, opens at

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M A Y 9 - M A Y 1 5 , 2 0 1 3 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T

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4 p.m., pay as you go ³ In its first season, Morgan’s Pier drew crowds with its breezy backyard-barbecue feel (if your backyard were the Delaware waterfront) and a spoton menu designed by David Katz. This year, the space has gotten a makeover, the aspirations are loftier and the food has been entrusted to the most decorated local chef of the past year or so: former Stateside exec George Sabatino. Tonight, you can get your first look at the season to come. There’s still a picnic-perfect menu and casual seating for a small army, while an expanded dining area offers reservations and a more upscale prix fixe. With Sabatino in the kitchen, some surprises and smart techniques are to be expected — a burger perched on a Martin’s potato roll looks like a by-the-book classic, but it’s actually cooked sous vide, frozen with liquid nitrogen and finished with a dunk in the deep fryer. Starting at 10 p.m., Making Time’s Dave P will provide the futuristic soundtrack to the unofficial start of summer. Morgan’s Pier, 221 N. Columbus Blvd., 215-279-7134, morganspier.com. Sister Cities Park International Festival Sat., May

11, noon-5 p.m., free ³ Philadelphia has got sister cities in Japan, Korea, Italy, Poland, Cameroon and Russia — and on Saturday, you can get a little taste of all of them at Sister Cities Park. The afternoon’s schedule is packed with traditional dance and musical performances, language lessons and cooking demos from sister-city chefs. While the festival is free, admission to the wine garden will set you back $10; it offers tastings of local wines from Paradocx and Black Walnut Winery. Sister Cities Park, 18th Street and Benjamin Franklin Parkway, sistercitiespark.org. Fourth Annual Hawthornes IPA Block Party Sat.,

May 11, 2-8 p.m., pay as you go ³ If you’re starting to notice a bit of an outdoor-drinking theme here, get used to it — it’s all blue skies, street food and stoop beers as far as the eye can see. On Saturday, join your Bella Vista neighbors on Hawthornes’ (proverbial) stoop and celebrate summery IPAs in grand fashion. They’ll be pouring 24 hoppy specimens at five bucks a pop, including Russian River Blind Pig and Hill Farmstead George. Think block-party fare like Mexican street corn and chili-spiked waffles with fried chicken. Cash only. Hawthornes Cafe, 738 S. 11th St., 215-627-3012, hawthornecafe.com. (carly@citypaper.net)


To place your FREE ad (100 word limit) ³ email lovehate@citypaper.net CONCERNED CUSTOMER

calls! Telling them to put us on the do-not-call list doesn’t work I still get calls from the same people time after time. Changing my phone number won’t work since they dial numbers randomly. Putting a recording on the answering machine doesn’t work. Cursing them out with the foulest language doesn’t work. Blocking their calls doesn’t work since they use too many different numbers and my system will only allow 12 blocked numbers. I read about a device you can add to your phone which puts out an audible tone indicating to their computer that the line is disconnected. This tone was suppose to cause their computer to delete the number from their system. Further investigation

the list goes on. I really wish there was something I could do to stop these bastards! I mean like how disparate does someone have to be to take a job as a telemarketer? These people need to get a real job and stop bothering people who aren’t interested in buying their shit! Lately I have resorted to calling them foul names just to piss them off. I realize this won’t stop them, but I will be happy if it makes their lives/job miserable!

IS THIS ODD? Well you dumb fuck know it all, seems like you don’t know everything. No I don’t look like that pic you posted and yes I got 4 real responses to the

DEAR PRIVILEGED TWAT: We don’t want your whiny perfumed ass around here anyway, friend! You sound like a bad tipper and an even worse lay-perhaps you would feel more at home in Martha’s Vineyard, or OBX. Keep on douchin’

SMOKERS (PA.)

To those stupid bitches getting on the fucking trains in any town and fucking standing at the door so nobody can get on or fucking get off. Move the fuck out the damn way. I was getting on the train and this stupid ass bitch was standing in the fucking door with her stinking underarms like someone wanted to smell that shit at 7:30 in the fucking am. You dumb bitch did you ever hear of some fucking deoderant or how about moving out the fucking way. Then you try to get out of another person’s way and then bam you are standing in front of another stupid ass acting like they are crazy...spread the fuck out already...I hate when people play fucking games...I hope all of you are reading this..and fucking learn to spread the fuck out and give someone some fucking room already... especially if the train isn’t crowded... of this device showed that the telemarketers have figured out a way to get around that too! If you take a look at the do-not-call law, you will realize how useless it really is. There are so many exemptions to the law that it is a waste of time. Some of the exemptions are....company’s you already do business with, plus ALL of their subsidiaries no matter how remote from the mother company. If I do business with a company that makes donuts, I will also get calls from one of their subsidiaries that makes toilet seats and it is perfectly legal. Company’s calling for donations for just about any cause are exempt. Political calls are exempt., and

post from decent looking women who just want to be serviced correctly. You spout negativity and you troll the ads aimlessly while I offered something positive and I will today get to enjoy myself while pleasing a women. I think you may be the one who looks like that picture after all.

Your bra was so fucking small when I saw you get on the bus...you looked as if you couldn’t fucking breath...I said to myself...what the fuck is this girl’s problem? You had to be every bit of fucking 220lbs and you looked as if you were trying to fit into a 34C bra...you can’t fucking fit the shit bitch why do you buy some undergarments that you can fucking fit...I couldn’t believe what I was seeing but it was all true you were struggling to breathe and trying to be cute at the same time, wouldn’t it make more sense to be confortable and cute at the same time. My bad you really couldn’t possibably pull off doing both at the same time!

PENNSYLVANIA Fifty-two percent of Americans say the use of marijuana should be made legal,while 45 percent say it should not,according to a Pew Research Center survey conducted in March among 1,501 adults. People aged 18 to 32 are the

✚ ADS ALSO APPEAR AT CITYPAPER.NET/lovehate. City Paper has the right to re-publish “I Love You, I Hate You”™ ads at the publisher’s discretion. This includes re-purposing the ads for online publication, or for any other ancillary publishing projects.

37

I am being plagued to death with telemarketer

STRUGGLING TO BREATHE

P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R | M A Y 9 - M A Y 1 5 , 2 0 1 3 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T |

Please address the question or I will fart in your face! Personally I like blowing smoke around people who don’t like it. And there isn’t anything they can do about it! I can scream, holler, curse, fight, and make just as big a fuss as you pussies! Some asshole outdoors made a comment to me recently. Needless to say, they wished they had not! The only thing that needs to be banned is assholes like you! Act like a man for once in your life!!!!!

GIVE ME SOME ROOM!

I HATE TELEMARKETERS!!!

Yo, fuckface, delighted you’ve chosen not to grace PHL with your stand ass presence, because we hate you too. Yeah it’s a lil grimey here, enough to chew up stupid suburban fucks like you & spit you out into FDR lakes to rot. Fuck your entitled attitude and car rolling thru the “hood” looking shook as shit, when you die you should get sent to a ring of hell where you drive around a cul de sac for all eternity. FUCK you right back. 215 ALL DAY!

i have been getting estimates from contractors to build a screened in porch. every small contrator who came to my house showed up on time. a large commercial company told me a rep would be there at 2:00 pm. time came and went, no show. then at 3:30 guess who pops up? and guess what i did? i sent him away. his boss called and appolgized and said the rep didnt have my number, they take care of these things at the office. WTF? you dont give the salesman the customer’s number in case they get lost or are running late?? i told him i dont do business with people who waste my time. good for the guy who sent the mulch back.

On behalf of the whole neighborhood. I’d like to thank you for bantering on your stoop at 4am on Monday morning. Nothing rocks me to sleep like bedtime stories about workout routine and your girlfriend’s ass.

I got massage therapy for hour ... She was so great its just normal massage . I got honey lift facial it was so good also she use cool stones on my neck and shoulders it was very good massage. She is in her 20’s. I love when she just talks to me like we known each other forever really made me feel at home. I request a cool stone massage and facial massage for hour for her price is wonderful.

RE: DEAR PHILLY

RE: DELIVERY WINDOWS (NOT ACCEPTABLE)

DEAR GUIDOS:

GREAT MASSAGE

most supportive group,but half of baby boomers now favor legalizing marijuana,too. Fewer Americans now perceive marijuana as a gateway drug,and fewer say that smoking marijuana is morally wrong. The survey also shows about 72 percent believe government efforts to enforce marijuana laws cost more than they are worth. In November,Colorado and Washington state voted to approve the recreational use of small amounts of marijuana. Justine Saying

classifieds

I have been using the convenience of Wawa for more then 25 years now. But have been most turn off by the new change dispenser’s I’m in line waiting to pay for my purchases, the person in front of me is coughing clearly not well wiping their nose with their hand reaching for the change that just was dispensed. I work in the heath care and try on a daily bases to remind staff the importance of precautions in spreading harmful bacteria. With just finishing a staff training on the procedures to prevent the spread of “C. diff which is a serious infection C. difficile bacteria are passed and spread to food, surfaces and objects when people who are infected don’t wash their hands thoroughly. The bacteria produce hardy spores that can persist in a room for weeks or months. If you touch a surface contaminated with C. difficile, you may then unknowingly ingest the bacteria...I’m not naive to the fact that money is full of bacteria But to now reach for my own change which was just dispensed made me think. I should drive a few blocks in the future to the 7 eleven. Sincerely; a Concerned customer

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merchandise market Laptops Net Ready, Wireless From $129 Tablets from $149. Call 610.453.2525

BRAZILIAN FLOORING 3/4", beautiful, $2.75 sf (215) 365-5826 CABINETS KITCHEN SOLID WOOD Brand new soft close/dovetail drawers Crown Molding 25 Colors, Never Installed! Cost $5,300. Sell $1,590. 610-952-0033 Diabetic Test Strips Needed pay up to $25/box. Most brands. 610-453-2525 Pinball Machines, shuffle bowling alley, arcade video games 215.783.0823

BD a Memory Foam Mattress/Bx spring Brand New Queen cost $1400, sell $299; King cost $1700 sell $399 610-952-0033

BED: Brand New Queen Pillowtop Set $145; 5pc Bedrm Set $325 215-355-3878

HEALTH & MEDICAL PRODUCTS/SERVICES Handicap Scooter - 4 wheeled golden avenger. 400lb. wait cap. 215-757-1747

LOST Temple University Lieutenant Badge #39. Call 215-204-1234

2013 Hot Tub/Spa. Brand New! 5 person w/lounger, color lights, maint. free cabinet. Cover. Never installed. Cost $6500. Ask $2750. Can deliver. 610-952-0033.

US Open golf tickets wanted for all dates paying $150 & Up 818.262.3947

33&45 RECORDS HIGHER $ Really Paid

**Bob610-532-9408***

M A Y 9 - M A Y 1 5 , 2 0 1 3 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T

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Please be aware Possession of exotic/wild animals may be restricted in some areas.

Maine Coon Kittens, CFA reg., M/F multiple colors. (215)438-8759

Ragdoll Kittens: Beautiful, Melt in your arms, home raised. Mothers Day Special pricing, 1st Shots Call 610.731.0907 Siamese Kittens 1st Shots, Micro, Can Send Pix to cell, Rene 609-352-6358 Siamese Kittens m/f applehead, purebred, Health Guar. $400 610-692-6408

Bichon Frise akc F/M pups, $550 vet cked Ready 4/16, family raised 717.225.5047 Cavalier Spaniel Pups $900 Ready May 10, M/F Raised in fam home w/ kids Purebred, shots, vet check 703-431-1284 D ogue de Bordeaux French Mastiff Hooch Puppies $1500 215-788-2136 English Bulldog Puppies $1900 Raised in loving home! Shots, dewormed, socialized! 717-529-6041 or dggruver@juno.com

Coins, Currency, Gold, Toys,

Trains, Hummels, Sports Cards. Call the Local Higher Buyer, 7 Dys/Wk

Dr. Sonnheim, 856-981-3397

Coins, MACHINIST TOOLS, Militaria, Swords, Watches Jewelry 215-742-6438 I Buy Anything Old...Except People! antiques-collectables, Al 215-698-0787 I Buy Guitars & All Musical Instruments-609-457-5501 Rob JUNK CARS WANTED We buy Junk Cars. Up to $300 215-888-8662

jobs

apartment marketplace Balwynne Park 2BR $860+utils W/D, C/A, W/W. Call 215-219-6409 82xx Mansfield Ave. 2br $850/mo. 1st flr, gar, W/W carp, Call 215.275.3774

24xx N 32nd St Dell East Area 2br $575 + utils, 2nd Fl, newly reno 215.407.3446

1, 2, 3, 4 BEDROOM

FURNISHED APTS Laundry-Parking 215-223-7000

***215-200-0902***

Caregiver Avail. To care for your loved one Reliable w/car. Call 484-636-7392

apartment marketplace

English Labrador Yellow Pups $1,000 OFA/AKC Cert Ready 5/22 717.587.3990 German Shepherd Pups - AKC, large bones, Champ. parents. 610-845-7022 Havanese Pups AKC, home raised. 262.993.0460, noahslittleark.com ITALIAN SPINONE PUPPIES Vet checked, health guarantee. Males only. Sire is a Canadian Field Champion. $1,500 each. 570-226-9248. MALTESE AKC CH. Bloodline $899. 9 weeks old 3 females. 717-573-2257

Rittenhouse Sq. vic unique 1BR $1850 All amens. Call Ruth at 215.568.3999

220 Locust St. Spacious Studio Apt. $1100 includes all utils, cable TV. First/last and sec dep required. Call 267-767-4088.

2300 S. 11th St. 1BR $750 + utils 2nd floor, rear, 1st, last & sec. dep., W/D, no pets. Call 215-739-6634

Phila STUDIO 1846 McKean St. 4 rms $450 mo + elc. Sec $650. 215-276-4119

4734 North Marvine. 1BR $575 + utils 2 flr, 3 rooms & bath. 215-840-5221

87XX Gillespie 2BR $810 /mo + util 1st floor, w/d, garage 215-313-1664

Broad & Hunting Pk 1st flr 1br $650+util pvt entry, 1st/Last/Sec Dep 215.559.5039

MT. AIRY 2BR, $800/mo. + elect/gas, 2nd flr. 302-325-4107

176 W. Seymour St. 1BR/1BA $550+utils Huge Apartment. Call (215) 459-1699

1 BR & 2 BR Apts $735-$835 spacious, great loc., upgraded, heat incl, PHA vouchers accepted 215-966-9371

ROTTWEILER PUPS - ACA, farm family raised, S/W, ready 4/26, $750, Lebanon County. 717-949-3093 or 717-821-0659

53XX Vine Effec $500/Mo $1,000 Move in 267.205.1570

5211 Greene St. 1br $650+utils Great location. Call 610-287-9857

Yorkie Puppies - A KC reg. vet checked home raised. $650. Call 215-490-2243

5502 Thompson St 1BR $450 Elec Only, fridge incl. 215-473-2136

8X E Walnut Ln. 4br/2ba $950 Fenced yard, w/d. 610-834-9978

YORSHIRE TERRIER Designer Pups $750 717-951-9582

W. Phila. Apts for 62 & older, brand new eff,1 & 2BR units. Call 215.386.4791

GERMANTOWN 2BR, 2BA $650 276-307-6160 KNOX ST 2br $700/2 mo dep, 1 mo rent + elec & gas. 267-338-9870

Looking for mix male over 2 yrs Mastiff, Boxer or Bulldog 215.900.3238

1201 W. Chelten Ave. 1BR $635+utils . Large, 2mo. sec., avail. now. 215.287.1303 1414 W. 71st Ave 1br $625 incl utils. Close to trans & shopping. 215-574-2111

4500 Frankford Ave. Effic. $490 2nd floor, no pets. Call 386-314-3550 Wilmont & Ditman 3BR/1BA $875 W/D, fridge, sec. 8 ok. 215-632-5763

5846 N. Marvine 1br $600+utils renovated, close to trans (215)480-6460 English Bulldog Pups pedigree, reg, dewormed. Vet Chked. 215-696-5832

83xx Michener Ave 2br 1ba lg LR & DR $750 + sec & 1st & last mos. 215-920-5097

Temple U Campus - Studio $550 & up. Utilities included, Call John at 215-236-1612 or 302-345-6334

33 & 45 Records Absolute Higher $

everything pets pets/livestock

Books -Trains -Magazines -Toys Dolls - Model Kits 610-639-0563

7300 Ruskin 2BR/1BA $700+utils. Dining area, LR, kitch. 610-908-9330

West Oak Lane 3BR $890/mo Remod Kit & Ba 1+1 move in 215.477.5583

Apartment Homes $650 - $995 www.perutoproperties.com 215.740.4900

W. Logan St 1Br $499 + UTILS 3rd Flr, Carpet, Pets, 2+1 to move in 215.471.1742

Lawncrest 533 McKinley St. Large 1BR 1BA. $575 per mo. Must see! Call 267-255-0858

Mayfair - 3200 McGee 1BR $750+utils 1st, last, sec. dep, W/D in unit, close to transp. 215-745-8900 / 267-402-6363

YEADON Area Beaut/Upgraded 1 & 2 BR W/D, Spring Special 215-681-1723

Cheltenham TWNP. 2Br/1Ba $800/Mo LaMott Section 1Fl. 1st/Last/Sec Dep. Available June 1st Call 215.540.9183.

SWEDESBORO LG 2BR $890+ util lndry rm, nice, avail 6/1 856-466-4002

16th & Lehigh, 21st & York, 22nd & Allegheny - $325/mo. SSI ok. 215-485-8815 17th & Erie/20th & Erie: Furnished Rooms $100/wk. SSI ok 267.690.0204 2420 N Chadwich St & 2549 N. 16th St. New reno rms, $85/wk. 484.885.6903 2764 N Hemberger Room for rent 350+/Mo, No sec, Call 267-257-3610 507 E. Walnut Lane: $110/wk, utils incl, No sec Dep, Large, Furn 215.760.0206 56xx Wyalusing Ave. $100-$110/wk. Furn. Lg Clean Rms. 215-917-1091

Broad & Lehigh & G’Town Move-in Special, Lg furn rms, Cbl Ready 215.510.0928 G’Town Mens hsng. & emply. program, Meals incl., SSI ok. Call 267-586-8350 Temple Hosp 4 Rms $400-$500/Mo Utils Incl, Kit, Full Ba, SSI/SSD Ok 267.242.2127

11xx N. 55TH ST. BRAND NEW BLDG Single rms $400, double rooms $600. Rms w/ba $500, Rms w/ba& kit $600. Fully furn w/ full size beds, fridge, & dresser. Couples welcome! SSI/SSD/VA, Payee services, Public assistance ok. Also SW, S., W., N. 267-707-6129 18th & Erie (37xx Gratz) LARGE, clean room. Share kitchn & bthrm. Close to subway. $125/wk Call 484-318-1359 20th & Allegheny: Furn. Luxury Rooms. Free utils, cable, A/C. 267-331-5382 20th and Girard, 2 furn. rooms for rent $100/wk, $250 move in. 267-239-4197 23xx Lehigh, $330-$350/mo, kitch priv, income verif./ref’s req. 267-319-4132 2435 W. Jefferson St. Rooms: $375/mo. Move in fee: $565. Call 215-913-8659 33rd & Ridge Ave. $100-125/week. Large renovated furnished rooms near Fairmount Park & bus depot. 215-317-2708 45xx N. 17th St. - Brand new clean rms, single occupant $350/mo. 267-979-4214 47xx Salem St 3 rooms $425 -$350 Shared Kit/Ba, Near Trans 267.206.2701 51XX Haverford Ave. $400 Big, clean, carpeted, near EL, all utils incl. SSI OK. Drug & Drama Free. Call Now! 267-436-1432 53xx N. Broad St. Rm & Apt. Full fridge, 27" TV, AC. Call 267-496-6448 55/Thompson deluxe quiet furn $115$145wk priv ent $200 sec 215-572- 8833 652 Brooklyn St. Furn, 3rd flr., no kitch., $125 wk; $375 move in. 215-892-7198

A1 Nice, well maintained rms, N. & W. Phila. $85-$125/wk. Call 267-760-3148 Apt. for rent 60th & Kingsessing 1+1. Rms for rent share kitch. & bath, $375 & up. 51st & Kingsessing, 52nd & Girard, 15th & Federal, 63rd & Arch. SSI ok. Call 267-888-1754 Art Museum Move-in special luxury rms $450/mo. SSI welcome. 267-632-3286

Broad & Hunting Park & all other areas $75-$125/wk. Newly renov., great transp., SSI OK. Call 267-588-5517


Broad/Olney furn refrig micro priv ent $115/$145wk sec $200 215.572.8833 Broad & Somerville clean, furn, newly decorated, near transp. 215-455-7488 BROAD St: Move in Special $190, Large clean furn rms, w/w crpt, 215.681.3896 Erie Ave. Nice, furn, fridge, micro, quiet, $90wk, $270 sec dep (609) 703-4266

18xx S. 5th St. 2BR/1BA $850 New reno, W/D, sec 8 ok. 215-748-3076

69th & Elmwood 2BR House Sec 8 ok, Reno, must see. 215.885.1700

Temp Hosp area 4br sngl fam Avail Now Move in Special 215-386-4791 or 4792

55xx Devon St. 3BR/1.5BA $675+utils $2,025 move-in. Call 215-242-6910 Ashmead St. & Germantown Ave. 3BR VA and Section 8 ok. Call 215-475-0413

Acura 2003 Luxury 4 dr, 3.2 TL (Sport Edition) with sunroof, super nice condition, quick prvt sale, $6,975. 215-922-5342

7xx E Allegheney 3BR/1BA $795 sec 8 ok, no pets. Call 215-539-7866 Kensington 4BR/1.5BA house. $800 p/m. Section 8 accepted. Freshly painted, hardwood floor. 267-210-5810

BMW 330xi 2003 $7,950 Loaded, sport pack, 100K. 215-237-0109

Chevy Silverado 2007 $5,500 WT series, V6, 1 owner. 267-408-4034

Chrysler 300 2006 $12,500 38K MI, RWD, V6, 215.768.8854 After 5P Ford Fusion SEL 2008 $15,000 Low miles 12K, leather, power sunroof, alloy wheels, rear spoiler. 610-246-6063

Jeep Grand Cherokee 2005 $8,850 4x4, 70K, 1 owner. 215.237.0109

VOLVO V70 2002 $4,850 fully loaded, inspect, 108k 215-416-7005

low cost cars & trucks Buick LeSabre Ltd 1997 $2,650 2nd owner., exl cnd. Call 610-667-4829

4400 Frankford Ave 3BR + Effics $500+ 1 mo sec dep, newly reno 215.760.9248

20XX E. Arizona 2Br/1.5Ba $1200+Utils New Reno Feat New Kit W/Granite Counter, HDWD Flrs, Fridge, W/D, Central Air, Pvt yard, Near trans, Mins from CC, Avail Mid May $75 App Fee Tony 215.435.2457

1xx Albanus St. 3BR/1BA $1,000 Sec. 8 ok. Newly renov. 267-992-3233 3133 Longshore Ave. 3br/1.5ba $1,250 Hdwd flrs., big kitchen, 1 car garage, front yard, 1400 sq. ft. Call (267) 402-0106 81XX Terry St 2br/1Ba $875 + Utils HDWD Flrs, Fin Bsmt, Fridge W/D, C/A $75 App Fee avail 6/1 Tony 215.435.2457 MAYFAIR 3BR/2.5BA $1250+utils Close to transp., W/D, full bsmt., parking, patio. Call 215-947-2805 8am-8pm Tacony 2BR/1BA $800 Section 8 accepted. Completely Renovated. Everything new. 267-210-5810

Cadillac 2000 Catera Gas Saver, 4 door, orig. mi., like new, garage kept, $3,975. Call Carol at 215-627-1814

Cadillac Seville 1978 $4900 44K mi, original, (302)333-3677 Chevy Astro 2004 Mini cargo van. Fully equip, AC, light commercial $3985 TODAY. Corporate Disposal. 215-922-2165

Chevy Cavalier RS 1994 $1150 Auto 74k New Insp 215.620.9383 Chevy S10 Pick Up 1991 $1,250 Auto, 86K, new insp. 215-620-9383 DODGE GRAND CARAVAN 2004 $4,799 --130K miles, runs great, TV/DVD. 267-240-4700 before 7 PM

FORD 500 2006 $3400/obo 1 owner, runs great, 197K, Insp. 215.740.7911 Ford Explorer Luxury XLS 4 Dr 2002 Fully equipped A/C too nice to trade in Senior Citizen will sac less than book value $3675 not exaggerated 215.627.1814 Ford Explorer XLT 2004 $3,495 4x4, new tires, gorgeous. 610-524-8835

Ford Taurus SE 2006 $2750 4 door, loaded, clean, CD, 215-518-8808

Mercedes Benz Luxry 300 SE 1994 $4975 4 dr w sun roof, positively flawless, senior citzen, sac substantially less than book value, deluxe sound sys 215-922-5342

ANTIQUES

ANTIQUE LOVERS TAKE NOTE: BRIMFIELD , MA star ts Tueday May 14th. 5,000 Dealers of Antiques/ Collectibles. Visit www.brimfield.com For info on 20 individual show openings. May 14th-19th 2013. DISCOVER THE

“Success and Moneymaking Secrets� THEY don’t want you to know about. To get your FREE “Success and Money Making Secrets� CD, please call 1-800-790-5752. EDUCATION

EARN $500 A DAY: Airbrush & Media Makeup Artists For: Ads-TV-Film-Fashion Train & Build Portfolio in 1 week. Lower Tuition for 2013. www. AwardMakeupSchool.com SAWMILLS

SAWMILLS from only $3997M A K E M O N E Y & S AV E MONEY with your own bandmill-Cut lumber any dimension. In stock ready to ship. FREE Info & DVD: www. NorwoodSawmills.com/300N 1-800-578-1363 Ext. 300N.

Automotive Marketplace CASH FOR CARS

ANY CAR/Truck. Running or Not! Top Dollar Paid. We Come to You! Call for Instant Offer. 1-888-420-3808 www. cash4car.com

Nissan Altima GXE 2000 $1750 Auto, New Insp Runs Exec 215.620.9383 Pontiac Grand Prix 2007 $4475 3.8 V6, CD, Alarm, Clean 267.592.0448 Saturn L300 2002 $2,895 leather, sun roof, gorgeous 610.524.8835 Volkswagon Jetta 1997 $1650 5 spd, 4 Dr, 4Cyl , 38 Mpg 215.620.9383 Volvo V70 GLT SW 1998 $1,550 auto, 1 owner, warranty. 215-620-9383

SEND SELF-ADDRESSED STAMPED ENVELOP (2) STAMPS: + $3.00 TO 1332 W. PIKE STREET. PHILA. PA 19140.

Help Wanted – Regional HOME CARE AIDES WANTED

RELIANCE HOME CARE SEEKING C.N.A.’S FOR LIVEIN OR HOURLY POSITIONS IN PHILA. AND SUBURBAN AREAS. $100 Bonus for hired live-ins. CALL HEATHER JENNINGS FOR INFORMATION AT 610-896-6030

Help Wanted – General HELP WANTED

Heavy Equipment Operator Career! 3 Weeks Hands On Training School. Bulldozers, Backhoes, Excavators. National Certifications. Lifetime Job Placement Assistance. VA Benefits Eligible! 1-866362-6497. HELP WANTED DRIVER

AVERITT OFFERS CDLA DRIVERS a STRONG, STABLE, PROFITABLE, CAREER. Experienced Drivers and Recent Grads-Excellent Benefits, Weekly Hometime. Paid training. 888-362-8608 AverittCareers.com Equal Opportunity Employer. HELP WANTED DRIVER

Company Driver: Solo Regional and OTR Lanes. $2,000 Sign-On Incentives. Competitive Pay. Great Hometime. CDL-A with 1 year OTR and Hazmat End. 888-705-3217 or apply online at www.driveenctrans.com HELP WANTED DRIVER

CRST offers the Best Lease Purchase Program! SIGN ON BONUS. No Down Payment or Credit Check. Great Pay. Class-A CDL required. Owner Operators Welcome! Call: 866-403-7044. HELP WANTED DRIVER

Driver-Two raises in first year. Qualify for any portion of $.03/mile quarterly bonus: $.01 Safety, $.01 Production, $.01 MPG. 3 months OTR experience. 800-414-9569 www. driveknight.com HELP WANTED DRIVER

Fast flexible funding solutions. Purchase/Refi commercial R/E. $250k min. Call MCG 1-888-258-0658. Visit www.mcgfinancing.net REGULAR MASSAGE THERAPY

Special Price! $45/hr. Call (215)-873-4835. 1218 Chestnut St.

Lessons & Workshops ATTEND COLLEGE ONLINE

from Home. *Medical, *Business, *Cr iminal Justice, *Hospitality. Job placement assistance. Computer available. Financial Aid if qualified. SCHEV authorized. Call 800-481-9472 www.CenturaOnline.com

Drivers: HIRING EXPERIENCED/INEXPERIENCED TANKER DRIVERS! Earn up to $.51 per Mile! New Fleet Volvo Tractors! 1 Year OTR Exp. Req.-Tanker Training Available. Call Today: 877882-6537 www.OakleyTransport.com

HELP WANTED DRIVER

Owner Operator: Experienced CDL-A Owner Operators Wanted. $2,000 Solo SignOn Incentive & $5,000 Team Sign-On Incentive. Long Haul Freight. Competitive Pay Package. Paid loaded and empty miles. Also hiring Company Teams. Call 866-938-7803 or apply online at www.drivenctrans.com HELP WANTED DRIVER

Transfer Drivers: Need CDL A or B Contract Drivers, to relocate vehicles from local body plants to various locations throughout US-No forced dispatch: US-1-800-501-3783 www.mamotransportation. com HELP WANTED!

Make extra money in our free ever popular homailer program, includes valuable guidebook! Start immediately! Genuine! 1-888-292-1120 www.easyworkfromhome. com

Three+ Bedrooms PACKER PARK NEAR THE STADIUM

3 B D U LT R A M O D E R N , THIS HOUSE HAS STAINLESS STEEL APPLIANCES, JACUZZI, LARGE DECK, CENTRAL AIR, PRIVATE PARKING, FINISHED DEN, WASHER & DRYER. ($1,950). ASK FOR SILVIA: 215-3890295.

Roommates ALL AREAS-ROOMATES. COM

Browse hundreds of online listings with photos and maps. Find your roommate with a click of the mouse! Visit: http:// www.Roommates.com.

Real Estate Marketplace

$$$HELP WANTED$$$

Extra Income! Assembling CD cases from Home! No Experience Necessary! Call our Live Operator Now! 1-800-4057619 Ext. 2450 http://www. easywork-greatpay.com $$$HELP WANTED$$$

Extra Income! Assembling CD cases from Home! No Experience Necessary! Call our Live Operator Now! 1-800-4057619 Ext. 2450 http://www. easywork-greatpay.com PAID IN ADVANCE

Paid in Advance! MAKE up to $1000 A WEEK mailing brochures from home! Helping Home Workers since 2001! Genuine Oppor tunity! No Experience required. Start Immediately! www.mailingstation.com STYLIST WANTED 65/35 SPLIT

We are currently looking for stylist /w books. We are looking for experienced, motivated professionals who understand the concept of teamwork and want to be par t of an up and coming salon under new ownership. if interested please contact Nikki at 215941-2260 for more information. Text always OK, For

AMERICA’S BEST BUY!

20 ACRES FREE. Buy 40get 60 acres. $0 down, $198/ month. Money Back guarantee, No Credit checks. Beautiful views. Roads/Surveyed. Near El Paso, Texas. 1-800843-7537.

Land/ Lots for Sale LAND FOR SALE

UP STATE NY COUNTRYSIDE SPRING LAND SALE. $5,000 Off Each Lot. 6 AC w/ Trout Stream $29,995. 3 AC/ So. Tier: $15,995. 5.7 AC On the River: $39,995. Beautiful & All Guaranteed Buildable. Financing Available...Offers End 5/15/13... Call Now: 1800-229-7843 www.landandcamps.com

Resort/ Vacation Property for Sale VACATION RENTALS

OCEAN CITY, MARYLAND. Best selection of affordable rentals. Full/partial weeks. Call for FREE brochure. Open daily. Holiday Real Estate. 1-800638-2102 Online reservations: www.holidayoc.com.

Spoil Me

HELP WANTED DRIVER

Exp. Reefer Drivers: GREAT PAY/Freight lanes from Presque, Isle, ME, Boston-Lehigh, PA. 800-277-0212 or primeinc.com HELP WANTED DRIVER

GORDON TRUCKING, INC.. CDL-A Drivers Needed! Up to $3,000 SIGN ON BONUS... Refrigerated Fleet & Great Miles! Up to .46 cpm w/10 years experience. Full Benefits, 401k, EOE. No N.E. Runs! TeamGTI.com EOE 866-554-7856. HELP WANTED DRIVER

Highest Pay in The Industry, Up To $0.52 Per Mile. No Truck Older Then 2010. Call or Apply

Great Dog For Good Home. 0W`RWS Wa O T`WS\RZg [WfSR P`SSR ^c^ eV] a]OYa c^ OTTSQbW]\ AVS¸a [Obc`SR W\ ]c` V][S Oa O T]abS` O\R aVS¸a `SORg T]` VS` T]`SdS` V][S :SOaV b`OW\SR a^OgSR V]caS b`OW\SR O\R dOQQW\ObSR

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W. & SW Phila 2br-3br Houses $700-$900. 1st/last/sec. 215-878-2857

Become an Aviation Maintenance Tech. FAA approved training. Financial aid if qualified-Housing available. Job placement assistance. CALL Aviation Institute of Maintenance 888-834-9715.

COMMERCIAL MORTGAGES

2BR & 3BR Houses Sec. 8 Welcome

West Phila 1br- 6br $800+ Sec. 8 housing. w/w, h/w, w/d, Call 267-773-8265

AIRLINE CAREERS

FORD TAURUS 2006 $3450 low miles, wing, clean, 267-592-0448

Mercedes 300 SEL 1988 $3700/obo May trade, 209K Mi All orig, In/Out, S/R Insp 1/14, Exec Cond 267.975.4483

Philadelphia 3br $750 House for rent, 1st and last to move in, $35 application fee, available now. 215803-8876

Public Notices

Business Services

282 S. 56th St. 4BR/1.5BA $950 1453 N. 60th St. 4BR/1BA $950 Call 267-784-4500 or 267-767-1794

58xx Sansom 4BR/1BA Section 8 ok, beautiful, newly renov., W/D, D/W, C/A, fridge. 215-605-8747

UNPLANNED PREGNANCY? THINKING OF ADOPTION? Open or closed adoption. YOU choose the family. LIVING EXPENSES PAID. Abby’s One True Gift Adoptions. Call 24/7. 866413-6293.

Ford F-150 XL 1994 $1650 Auto, Long Bed, Runs Exc 215.620.9383

KAWASAKI 750S 2006 $3,500 Very low mi., great cond. 267-320-7783

Beautifully renovated Call (267)981-2718

BROAD STREET RUN D.V.D. (5-5-13)

ADOPT: We promise your baby a lifetime of LOVE. Expenses Pd. Gloria & Walter, 1-866-440-4220. ADOPTION

Lexus 300 gs 2006 $20,000 35k Mi, 1 Owner 215.850.6561 67xx N Broad St. 5BR/2BA $15xx plus utils. Sect 8 ok. 215-224-6566

ADOPTION

calls Wednesday afternoon -Sunday evening best time to contact. Immediate placement available.

P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R | M A Y 9 - M A Y 1 5 , 2 0 1 3 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T |

homes for rent

21XX Pickwick 3BR/1BA $750 + UTILS New Remod, Nice area, 215.436.7284 25xx Taylor St. 2BR $650+ utils Newly renov, new kitch. 267-471-8171 29xx W. Norris St. 3br/1ba $795 Rehabbed, free HDTV. 215-354-0404 Indiana & Fox 2BR $650/mo. Newly renov. Call 215-704-0312

automotive

Online Today. 800-441-4953 DRIVEHEARTLAND.COM

classifieds

Frankford, nice rm in apt, near bus & El, $300 sec, $90/wk & up. 215-526-1455 Frankford rooms $90-$105/wk Everything incl. Sec dep req. 215-432-5637 Germant’n Apsley St rooms $130 wk share kitc & ba 267-338-9870 Germantown Area: NICE, Cozy Rooms Private entry, no drugs (267)988-5890 N. 18th St. & Lehigh $300-$400/mo. SSI avail. Drug free. Call 267-240-0611 NICETOWN furnished, private entrance, Please Call 215-324-1079 North Phila any size rm $350-$450/mo. for three months. Single occup. only. 215-913-1485 or 267-312-1499 N. Phila - $75 & up, SSI & Vets+ok, drug free, Avl Immed. 215-763-5565 N. Phila: clean, modern rms, use of kit, no drugs,reasonable rent. 215-232-2268 N. Philadelphia - $85-$100/week 1 plus 1 Needed, 215-669-0912 N. Phila Furn Rms SS & vets welcome. No drugs, $100 & up, 267-595-4414 N. Phila. - Lg Room, pvt kit/ba $150/wk. Call 267.882.7752 Olney and N Phila. $85 and up furn, kit privs, coin-op, crpt. 516-527-0186 South Phila furn room, fridge, renovated, no drugs 215-465-3080 215-617-3177 SW, N, W Movein Special! $90-$125/wk Clean furn rms SSI ok 215.220.8877 SW. Phila Furn Rms, SS & Vets welcome, No drugs, $100/wk & up 267-357-5148 West and SW Philadelphia $125-140 priv rm & ba, clean & new. 215-939-5854 West Phila. - Clean furnished rooms for rent, $500/mo. Call 267-333-4586 W. Phila. - Furnished Rooms & Effic. Near transp. $90/wk. Call 215-317-5872 W Phila & G-town: Newly ren, Spacious clean & peaceful, SSI ok, 267.255.8665

Overbrook Park Spacious 2 bed, 2nd floor condo. Wall to wall carpet, Gas Heat, Off street parking, Tile floor kitchen w/modern appliances including dishwasher, Central Air, Washer and Dryer. Available May 15th. First, last and security deposit $850 util. Call 610-585-3294

For Sale

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apartment marketplace

Adoptions


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M AY 9 - M AY 1 5 , 2 0 1 3 CALL 215-735-8444

Building Blocks to Total Fitness

12 Years of experience. Offering personal fitness training, nutrition counseling, and flexibility training. Specialize in osteoporosis, injuries, special needs. In home or at 12th Street Gym. MCKFitness@yahoo.com

2nd ANNUAL PAWS BENEFIT!

Jackie O. presents the 2nd Annual PAWS Benefit Show SAT 6/8 at Finnigan’s Wake (downstairs) at 3rd & Spring Garden: Outlaw Pandas, Clashing Plaid, Supreem & The New Experience, Welter; awesome raffle & prizes! Cover: $10 donation

LE BUS Sandwiches & MOSHE’S Vegan Burritos, Wraps and Salads Now Available at the EL BAR! It’s true! They’re here and delivered daily! 1356 North Front Street 215-634-6430

SEMEN DONORS NEEDED

Healthy, College Educated Men 18-39 ~ $150/Sample WWW.123DONATE.COM

TOP PRICES PAID. No collection too small or large! We buy everything! Call Jon at 215-805-8001 or e-mail dingo15@hotmail.com

MAKE THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE GET A TATTOO!

Long Trail Centennial Red Ale Evil Genius IPA Starr Hill Monticello Wheat Roy Pitz Old Jail Ale Lancaster Billy’s Bock Southhampton Imperial Porter All that and more at the Watkins Drinkery in South Philadelphia. Corner of 10th & Watkins 215-339-0175

PHILADELPHIA EDDIES 621 South 4th St. Tattoo Haven (MIDDLE of Tattoo Row) 215-922-7384 open 7 DAYS

Azuka Theatre Presents Failure: A Love Story Now thru 5/26 @ Off-Broad Street Theater www.azukatheatre.org

STUDY GUITAR W/ THE BEST David Joel Guitar Studio

525 West Girard Ave VINYL AND CD SPECIALISTS CLASSIC & MODERN GLOBAL SOUNDS HOUSE TECHNO DUBSTEP DUB DISCO FUNK SOUL JAZZ DIY PUNK LSD ROCK AND LIGHT HARMONY ROOTS BLUES NOISE AVANT AND MORE TUESDAY-SUNDAY 12-6PM 01-215-965-9616

FREE PIZZA! $2 BEER OF THE WEEK! $2 WELL DRINKS! IT’S AMAZING! PASSYUNK AVE (7th & CARPENTER) 215-465-5505 myspace.com/thedivebar

EVERYTHING ON SALE! Gotta Make Room for the NEW! BIZARRE BAZAAR 720 South 5th St, Phillyville NEW HOURS: 12-8pm Daily

WHAT’S ON TAP AT THE WATKINS DRINKERY?

TEQUILA SUNRISE RECORDS

HAPPY HOUR AT THE DIVE

SPRING CLEANOUT SALE! @ The Bizarre Bazaar

I BUY RECORDS, CD’S, DVD’S

All Styles All Levels. Former Berklee faculty member. Masters Degree with 27 yrs. teaching experience. 215.831.8640 www.myphillyguitarlessons.com

LAS VEGAS LOUNGE

Serving 20 oz Drafts, NOT 16. SIZE DOES MATTER. 704 Chestnut Street 215-592-9533 www.LasVegasLounge.com

HAPPY HOUR AT THE ABBAYE FREE DRINKING SMARTPHONE APP!!!

City Paper is very pleased to bring you our very first smartphone app! Just go to www.citypaper.net and click our martini glass icon to find out more, or type in ‘Happy Hours in the app store, android marketplace, or blackberry app world. Click the orange martini icon and get drinking. No matter where you go or when you go, you can find the nearest happy hours to you with a single click! You can even sort through bars by preference or neighborhood.

$2 OFF ALL DRAFTS $3 WELL DRINKS $5 HAPPY HOUR MENU Only at the Abbaye 637 N. 3rd Street (215) 627-6711 www.THEABBAYE.net

ACHTUNG BABY, BGIERSTUBE B ERMAN IERGARTEN BURGERS, BRATS AND 200+ BEERS FO SHIZZLE MA SCHNITZEL! 206 Market St. 215-922-2958

A HOUSE OF LAGERS

Mon-Wed 5pm-2am, Thurs-Sun 11am-2am

Reser vations at www.mybierstube.com

Fashion Fetish?

200+ steel boned corsets in stock size S-8XL Rubber-Leather-KiltsMore by 26 designers. PASSIONAL Boutique 704 S. 5th St. Noon-10PM, 7 days a week www.passionalboutique.com


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