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Publisher Nancy Stuski Editor in Chief Theresa Everline Senior Editor Patrick Rapa News Editor Samantha Melamed Arts Editor/Copy Chief Emily Guendelsberger Digital Media Editor/Movies Editor Paulina Reso Food Editor/Listings Editor Caroline Russock Staff Writers Ryan Briggs, Daniel Denvir Assistant Copy Editor Carolyn Wyman Associate Web Producer Carly Szkaradnik Contributors Sam Adams, A.D. Amorosi, Rodney Anonymous, Mary Armstrong, Meg Augustin, Justin Bauer, Bryan Bierman, Shaun Brady, Peter Burwasser, Mark Cofta, Alison Dell, Adam Erace, M.J. Fine, David Anthony Fox, K. Ross Hoffman, Brian Howard, Deni Kasrel, Alli Katz, Gary M. Kramer, Drew Lazor, Gair “Dev 79” Marking, Robert McCormick, Andrew Milner, Annette Monnier, Michael Pelusi, Elliott Sharp, Tom Tomorrow, John Vettese, Nikki Volpicelli, Brian Wilensky Editorial Interns Naveed Ahsan, Dotun Akintoye, Jessica Bergman, Michael Buozis, Lalita Clozel, Jordyn Horowitz, Mike Mullen, Joseph Poteracki, Sameer Rao, Marc Snitzer, Lara Witt Production Director Michael Polimeno Editorial Art Director Reseca Peskin Senior Designer Evan M. Lopez Editorial Designers Brenna Adams, Matt Egger Staff Photographer Neal Santos Contributing Photographers Jessica Kourkounis, Mark Stehle Contributing Illustrators Ryan Casey, Don Haring Jr., Joel Kimmel, Cameron K. Lewis, Thomas Pitilli, Matthew Smith Human Resources Ron Scully (ext. 210) Circulation Director Mark Burkert (ext. 239) Senior Account Managers Colette Alexandre (ext. 250), Nick Cavanaugh (ext. 260), Sharon MacWilliams (ext. 262), Stephan Sitzai (ext. 258) Account Managers Sara Carano (ext. 228), Jonathan Morein (ext. 249) Office Coordinator/Adult Advertising Sales Alexis Pierce (ext. 234) Founder & Editor Emeritus Bruce Schimmel

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contents Ladies not in waiting

The Naked City .........................................................................6 Arts & Entertainment.........................................................23 Movies.........................................................................................28 The Agenda ..............................................................................31 Food & Drink ...........................................................................38 COVER PHOTOGRAPH BY NEAL SANTOS PHOTO MANIPULATION BY EVAN M. LOPEZ

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naked

the thebellcurve CP’s Quality-o-Life-o-Meter

[ +1 ]

A western lowland gorilla named Kira is being moved to the Philadelphia Zoo from Boston to mate with male gorilla Jabari. “I already detest her accent,” sighs Jabari. “One may only imagine what dreadful rhotacism her vulgar Southie diction will inflict upon my name.”

[ -5 ]

The School Reform Commission votes to approve the “doomsday” budget, which cuts most extracurricular and afterschool programs. Except the one in which schoolchildren will be forced to construct a gigantic mirror to block the sun.

[ -2 ]

The SRC’s vote to approve the “doomsday” budget draws criticism from activists, teachers and students. We’ll see how they feel when the mirror is finished burning “SRC 4 Ever” on the moon.

[ -2 ]

City Councilwoman Jannie L. Blackwell proposes that an elected school board be created to replace the SRC. Too bad that a satellite aimed a freeze ray at her like 10 seconds later.

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[ -3 ]

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A West Chester man is arrested for making straw purchases at a gun show. “I was thirsty!” he quips. “But seriously, I was buying guns for criminals and making the world a more horrible place than it already is, and I’m ashamed.”

[ -4 ]

A North Philly man is charged with attempted murder after hitting on a woman, then shooting at her. “That’s the last time that I take advice from AKCupid,” he quips. “But really, what the hell is wrong with me?”

[ +7 ]

MANNA, the Philly nonprofit that delivers meals to sick people, is about to celebrate its 10 millionth meal. :) but also :( but mostly :) right now.

[ +1 ]

Campbell’s Soup sends its chefs to hip food trucks in New York City on fact-finding missions. Introducing: Buttercream Cupcake Tater Tot Slider Smoothie Soupin-a-Sillystraw.

[0]

Municipal Council president Gary H. Simpson says Norristown is “the next hot and popping” town in the area. “I guess that’s the end of that,” says Norristown.

This week’s total: -7 | Last week’s total: -2

FILLING A NEED: Around 150 dentists volunteered to provide free care to 1,800 people at Temple’s Liacouras Center, but hundreds were turned away. Dental-care access remains a major public-health issue in Philadelphia and beyond. LALITA CLOZEL

[ health ]

A KICK IN THE TEETH Access to dental coverage bites for poor Philadelphians. By Lalita Clozel

emple University’s 10,200-seat Liacouras Center is normally reserved for Owls basketball games, rock concerts and commencement ceremonies. But last weekend, it was transformed into a giant dentist’s office, right down to the antiseptic smell. About 1,800 people received free treatment, some standing in line overnight to access care. Dentists donated a total of $1 million in services on Friday and Saturday, doling out free cleanings, fillings and root canals as patients waited in the bleachers. But even with 120 chairs set up across the arena floor, hundreds were turned away. It’s no coincidence that the nonprofit MOM-n-PA Dental Missions’ first-ever two-day dental clinic in North Philadelphia took place less than two years after the Corbett administration drastically reduced dental coverage for adult Medicaid enrollees. “There’s almost no coverage in Pennsylvania,” said Bernie Dishler, an Elkins Park dentist and an organizer of the event. Medicaid patients, for instance, “can only get dentures once in a lifetime,” which puts them at risk of oral cancer, he said. Root canals, periodontal care and crowns are no longer covered. The reduction in Medicaid benefits was introduced in fall 2011 and phased in by managed-care organizations (MCOs) over the past year or so. Many waiting for service on Friday were among the workingpoor Philadelphians who have no dental coverage at all. David

Brewington receives no health insurance from his temporary jobs. A father of two, he had left a chipped tooth unattended for two years, until it started to decay. When air gets in, he said, “it’s like someone jamming at your nerve.” Yasmine Fainasworth said she could not afford her employer’s health insurance. She got in line at 5:30 a.m. to get a root canal, for a tooth that kept her awake at night. If she hadn’t made it to the clinic, her only option to fix it would have been to “win the lottery.” The Department of Public Welfare (DPW) estimates reducing dental-care coverage has saved the state $18.6 million. Those who are denied coverage for procedures can petition for expanded benefits. In the second half of 2012, MCOs received 8,300 such applications. Only 16.7 percent of those were approved. In that time, one MCO, United Healthcare, approved just 0.6 percent of applications. “There has been a tremendous amount of leeway given to the [MCOs],” says Kyle Fisher, attorney at the Pennsylvania Health Law Project, which regularly hears from affected Medicaid patients. Last year, City Paper spoke with Anthony Lomax, 66, a North Philly man who, because Medicaid wouldn’t cover partial dentures, had all his teeth pulled — and then was denied coverage for a full set of dentures under the new guidelines. CP checked in with Lomax recently: He says he was toothless for five long months. “I went through hell,” he says. “I couldn’t eat, for one thing, and my gums used to bleed.” With help from Community Legal Services, he

“I went through hell. I couldn’t eat.”

>>> continued on page 8

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[ a million stories ]

✚ CALL TO ACTION As state and local politicians search behind the proverbial couch cushions in hopes of scraping together the $304 million the school district says it needs to retain any semblance of decent public education, they’ve thrown out a number of fresh ideas for lastditch fundraising:Tax cigarettes and cocktails! Garnish the wages of tax cheats! Use gaming revenues! Raise the Use & Occupancy tax! Recently, though, a few legislators have raised the specter of a much older idea: Seek relief in court to make the state pay. The city and school district did just that in 1997, but lost. Now, however, as the district stares down a so-called doomsday budget that would eliminate arts, extracurriculars and counselors, some think there’s again a case for legal intervention. “I’m looking into it,” state Sen. Anthony Williams said. “But I’m not a lawyer; I’m a legislator. The county should look at the court system.” In the meantime, Williams supports Mayor Nutter’s plan to raise cigarette and liquor taxes, and says he’s using all his clout as Democratic whip to make sure his colleagues “understand the need.” The city needs state approval to impose those tax increases. State Rep. Mike O’Brien doesn’t think that approval is likely. So he thinks school districts should seek a writ of mandamus, a legal action by which the court could compel the legislature to uphold its constitutional obligation to support a “thorough and efficient system of public education.” The court previously said it didn’t have that authority, he acknowledges. “But what’s happened since?” For one thing, Gov. Corbett cut $1 billion from basic education, only a fraction of which has been restored. And, “the state has come in and taken over the school district. … In essence, it’s now their responsibility to fund education.”

Michael Churchill of the Public Interest Law Center of Philadelphia brought the school-funding case to court in the ’90s. He’s skeptical O’Brien’s idea could work. “Under the present state of law, I don’t believe mandamus is available. It would require the court to decide that that opinion was wrong, or that circumstances had changed significantly enough.” On the other hand, he adds, “I have no doubt that if the courts were willing to review it they would find the current system of funding schools in Pennsylvania to be unconstitutional.” Churchill says he contin-

ues to monitor the situation statewide, and that options could include a new state lawsuit or even a federal suit. But, he warns, “Litigation is a long process.” Instead of waiting for the courts, “the public should directly pressure the legislature,” he says. “The reason [for the current crisis] was that legislators have not gotten the kind —Samantha Melamed of pressure necessary.”

✚ PARTY CENTRAL Trivia time, politicos: Where’s the Philly headquarters of the Republican Party? “I would venture to guess there’s not one single person in Philadelphia who would even know where Republican headquarters are right now,” admits state Rep. John Taylor, newly elected chairman of the Republican City Committee. In fact, the office has been, for decades, just above the Windsor Hotel, at 17th Street and the Parkway. But not for long. Currently, the RCC is quietly preparing to relocate its HQ to a storefront at Frankford and Cottman avenues in Mayfair. Even for a political party that encompasses only about one in 10 of Philly’s registered voters, mostly in the Northeast, the old digs were just too anonymous, says Taylor, who happened to be >>> continued on page 12

hitandrun ³ news in brief

³ THE CONVENTION CENTER was quiet Friday outside the Wizard World Comic Con,

Brittany, Miriya and Patrick Jacobs at Wizard World Comic Con.

where a skinny teenager, still more Peter Parker than Spider-Man in a full body suit, lingered near the entrance tapping on his cell phone. Inside, though, the comic collectors and fanboys were lining up in throngs to meet demi-celebrities and purchase lots and lots of merchandise. As young women wandered the floor dressed as Wonder Woman, Poison Ivy and more obscure but equally sexualized characters, photographers stopped them for photo ops. Rochelle Keyhan of Hollaback Philly was approaching the women with a different motive: to rally support against comic-con harassment. Yes, this is a real problem, confirmed Brittany Jacobs, an “avid cosplayer” — short for “costume play” — at the convention with her husband, Patrick, and daughter, Miriya. Jacobs, whose face was painted Smurf blue in homage to Mystique, an X-Men villain, said she had dealt with overly aggressive photographers, including one who’d tried, literally and figuratively, to pick her up. “Just because I’m dressed up kind of sexy doesn’t mean you can hit on me,” she said. The three agreed to pose with a sign reading “Cosplay = Consent,” the motto of a nationwide anti-harassment movement. Hollaback Philly, an anti-street-harassment group, is speaking comic fans’ language with its own comic book, Hollaback: Red Yellow Blue, promoted at a table at Wizard World. They were also giving out wallet cards reading, “That was harassment,” to be distributed by cosplayers in distress. Anna Kegler, manning the table, said visitors told her that, unfortunately, the cards would be getting good use. —Samantha Melamed

By Daniel Denvir

MASS APPEAL ³ “IN PHILADELPHIA TODAY,” tweeted Teach for America founder Wendy Kopp last Thursday. “So much more to be done, but I can’t get over the progress in this city’s schools in the last decade!” Bizarrely, the occasion for that comment was the School Reform Commission’s approval of a doomsday budget that eliminates funding of librarians, sports, arts programs and counselors, cutting about 3,000 jobs in a district that’s already eliminated thousands of teachers and staff. Outrage came quickly, and Kopp soon mounted an e-pology. Kopp’s tweet, however, didn’t reflect poor timing. Rather, it offered a refreshingly honest look at how the corporate-inspired reform movement views urban public schools. Segregated and chronically underfunded districts are laboratories for the selfappointed revolutionaries; the past decade of crisis, an opportunity for creative destruction via expensive and unregulated charter-school growth, high-stakes standardized testing, layoffs and union busting. Privatization and testing remain core elite priorities despite abundant evidence that they’ve failed. The permanent crisis of school closings and budget shortfalls succeeds only in demoralizing students and teachers — and driving them away from a district pathologized as irreparably dysfunctional. Philly students disproportionately live in poverty, but the pro-charter school-choice movement that seeks to uplift them is flush with cash. Take Kopp defender Jonathan Cetel, who heads an organization called PennCAN that advocates for tax-credit subsidies for private schools (“vouchers lite”). Its national parent organization, 50CAN, in 2011 received nearly $2 million from the Walton Foundation. Teach for America and charter schools got tens of millions of dollars more. That’s philanthropy from a family that has fomented gaping inequality; six Walmart heirs control as much wealth as the poorest 30 percent of Americans. Then there’s millions from the Gates, Broad and William Penn foundations. Pro-business politicians in both parties, including Mayor Nutter and Gov. Corbett, are also on board. The alternative to mass privatization is mass activism. Last fall, the Chicago teachers’ strike boasted popular support thanks to hard-won community alliances. The Philly Federation of Teachers must follow suit. Schools statewide are in crisis, and a political majority for fair funding is waiting to be organized. To win, the movement must be bigger, broader, louder and more militant. The doomsday budget is morally unacceptable. It must become politically impossible. ✚ Send feedback to daniel.denvir@citypaper.net.

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✚ A Kick in the Teeth

[ the naked city ]

<<< continued from page 6

“It’s hard for adult Medicaid patients to get treatment.” appealed and finally received dentures. He says he never could have navigated that system alone. Fisher says one problem is that patients cannot submit exception requests themselves. Instead, a dentist must submit the application, which often requires the support of a physician because the standard is “serious deterioration of health.” One client lost 35 pounds because she, like Lomax, was refused dentures. It took a year to get her benefits approved. For others, though, the problem isn’t the lack of coverage, but limited access to care. Many dentists simply won’t accept Medicaid, because they say government reimbursement rates are too low. “Even in places like Philadelphia, which has a lot of dentists, it’s hard for adult Medicaid patients to get treatment,” says James Eiseman, senior attorney at the Public Interest Law Center of Philadelphia. Dentist Bruce Terry, a MOM-n-PA board member, said his insurance reimbursement rates had gone up by less than 3 percent in the past five years. He does not accept Medicaid. The multilayered system of MCOs, which in turn may have subcontractors for dental care, has kept much of the information on reimbursements under wraps.

Since 2011, the Public Interest Law Center of Philadelphia has filed two Right to Know requests and multiple appeals to find out why only a third of children enrolled in Medicaid received dental services in 2009. Eiseman said the question is how much the state is paying to MCOs — and how much of that money is going to dentists. DPW refused to disclose the reimbursement rates, which it termed “trade secrets.” The state Office of Open Records twice ruled in favor of the law center, but the data was never released. DPW does not regulate the fees MCOs pay. But Fisher says it has a responsibility “to take its oversight role seriously. … To make sure Medicaid patients are able to get medically necessary services — that is the issue.” (lalita@citypaper.net) ✚ Additional reporting by Samantha

Melamed.

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✚ a million stories

[ the naked city ]

<<< continued from page 7

“We’ve been, honestly, losing ground in Northeast Philly.” speaking on his cell from a car outside the office. The downtown office, he adds, isn’t practical, either. “We’re driving around for the fifth time now just to find a place to pull over and drop off some papers, because it’ll cost you $29 just to park.” More interesting is what the move might reflect in the RCC’s political strategy. Redistricting, which takes effect in 2015, has forced Philly’s few sitting Republican pols to double down further on their perceived stronghold in Northeast Philly. “The districts have changed dramatically, at least for me,” Taylor says. “We can’t really treat the new area as a legislative area, in terms of anything with taxpayer money. So we have to treat it strictly as a campaign area.” To that end, the new party office will double as Taylor’s own “campaign headquarters.” The offices are three times larger than the party’s current space and more expensive, but Taylor says he will split rent with the Committee. The retreat to the Northeast may seem an odd choice when you consider the party’s changing demographics. “[The Northeast] is not the area where the growth in new voters has been,” says Matt Wolfe, a Republican ward leader in West Philly. “We’ve been, quite honestly, losing ground in Northeast Philly.

The growth has all been in and around Center City.” But then, he doesn’t see the office location as all that important. “I think the Democrats were stupid to spend the money they did building that office,” he says, referring to the “monument” of a headquarters they recently built on

Spring Garden Street. “But they have a lot of money. We should be investing in communications.” —Ryan Briggs

✚ CORRECTION In an article on tax delinquencies at charter-school properties [“Testing Our Patience,” May 30, 2013], we wrote that the Mathematics, Civics & Sciences Charter School had lost its taxexempt status. In fact the school has been exempt since 2006, but the property has a pre-existing tax balance.

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PhoTo BY neaL sanTos

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InVIsIBLe drum KIT: Grace Ambrose, center, makes a point at the final organizational meeting of Ladyfest, happening this weekend in West Philly.

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the crowd, and a break from having to shout louder than five dudes to get heard?

“The PoWer of medusa”

0 ! 2 0 , - " % % '

% 2 , “I Wanna Be Your JoeY ramone”

come off weird and/or tone-deaf. I examine the song list later. There are 479 songs; 400 of them are completely by dudes. Even if you stretch the definition of “sung by a woman” to include, say, Kim Deal’s “So long, so long” asides on “Here Comes Your Man,” that’s still only 16 percent — about one out of every six songs. But this isn’t just griping about karaoke. Once you start looking for it, the 5-to-1 ratio (imagine a single Trivial Pursuit wedge) keeps turning up everywhere as a representation of the female presence in punk and indie rock — aside from events like Ladyfest that make a conscious effort to alter it. As if white-kid music is a nautilus shell or pine cone whose growth is dictated by an invisible mathematical ratio, punk and indie rock tend to have between four and six male voices for each female one. Is it any wonder that a bunch of post-riot-grrrl women musicians came up with Ladyfest — this one place, for one weekend, where they could take a brief vacation from sticking out in

conTInued on Page 16

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“I’m the queen of rock ’n’ roll!” I’m still a block away from Punk Rock Karaoke when I hear those words, and my heart sinks. Son of a bitch, I think, handing over my $10 at the door. I knew I should have showed up on time. I wanted to be their Joey Ramone! Of course, this is a fundraiser for Ladyfest, the three-day music festival in West Philly. And Sleater-Kinney was a major force behind the first Ladyfest in Olympia, Wash., back in 2000 that spun off into countless DIY-feminism-themed music festivals, including a huge one in Philly 10 years ago. They’ve got to have a solid Corin Tucker bloc. I leaf through the binder. Maybe “Milkshake N’ Honey”? But though this is a Ladyfest benefit, it ain’t Ladyfest karaoke. And that means six songs by the Smiths versus one by Patti Smith. Twenty by the Ramones, five by Bikini Kill. Ten by the Misfits, three by Siouxsie and the Banshees. Twelve by the Clash and one by the Breeders. One by Screaming Females (who are actually playing Ladyfest on Sunday). One by Babes in Toyland. One by Joan Jett. One by Sonic Youth. Nothing by the Raincoats or the Slits or P.J. Harvey. As the singers onstage are wrapping up “I Wanna Be Your Joey Ramone,” I flip past an enormous swath of Green Day to find … exactly one other song by Sleater-Kinney. (Well, more like half a song; “A Real Man,” at just over a minute long, is short even by Joey’s standards.) A woman next to me groans that this is, like, the second time someone’s done this song. A lot of women I talk to showed up in the mood to sing songs written by and for women. But there just don’t seem to be enough familiar ones to go around. I consider taking a stab at Fugazi’s “Suggestion” to go with the feminism vibe, but who am I kidding — it’s hard enough to sound like Ian MacKaye if you’re starting out with a dude voice. I’d just

by emily guendelsberger

Ladyfest isn’t about gleefully giving men the boot because men, amirite; it’s about providing a music space for women where, for once, they’re not constantly in the minority, says Grace Ambrose. Despite the festival planning’s communal, consensus-based nature, Ambrose is clearly the person everyone at this penultimate Ladyfest planning meeting looks at when someone needs to say, “OK, we’ve made that decision, then.” Ambrose grew up outside Washington, D.C., frequenting the weeknight punk shows in Fort Reno Park and waiting for Fugazi to come back to play that mythical final show that is the unicorn of everyone who barely missed the Dischord era of D.C. punk by reasons of being in elementary school. When she moved to Philly to go to Penn in 2007, she started booking house shows, and she’s now a core member of DIY PHL, a collective that’s been acting as a sort of hub for Philly’s intense number of DIY venues. The experience seems to have been useful; Ladyfest is the most efficiently organized big DIY event I’ve ever seen. “We’re all trying to fit this in around our full-time jobs, and our bands, and the other feminist groups we’re involved in,” says Ambrose. Good organization was not optional. “I’m just amazed at what we can do with Google spreadsheets and Google docs,” says Maria Sciarrino, the host of this meeting. Sciarrino does it all: computer stuff for Wharton, graphic design, plays in the band Bedroom Problems, DJs at WPRB, used to book Philly shows with Sara Sherr as Plain Parade. Sciarrino and Sherr are the only two women at the meeting who were involved with the first Ladyfest Philly a decade ago. Says Sciarrino, “I’ve been looking at some of the listserv messages from the first one

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… we used that listserv so much. In the month of March, there were, like, 600 messages. Now there’s so many ways to communicate online — we didn’t have any of that.” Though Plain Parade is no more, the two women established the all-women local-music showcase Sugar Town, which just turned 12 a couple months ago. Sherr says that though the Philly music scene has changed a lot in the past 20 years, some things haven’t. “Riot Grrrl happened when I was in my 20s — we were talking about these same issues, and then we were talking about them in 2003. And we’re still talking about them now.”

“Be A MAn” The issues partly have to do with that small, Trivial Pursuit-wedge-shaped percentage representing the female-fronted number of karaoke songs. Because that’s not the only place the 5-to-1 ratio turns up. Since Coachella started in 1999, there have on average been five male-fronted groups for every female-fronted group, Buzzfeed found in April. (Note: All these statistics come with a “there’s not a ton of specific data to mine about transgender representation” disclaimer.) There wasn’t much information available on local booking, so City Paper combed through last summer’s emails from R5 Productions, the Philly-based booking company that has similar punk-DIY-indie roots to Ladyfest. Examining the headliners R5 booked at the primary six venues they work with (Union Transfer, Johnny Brenda’s, First Unitarian Church, Morgan’s Pier, Kung Fu Necktie and the Barbary) between June and August 2012, we found that around 15 percent had frontwomen — a bit less than one in five. Counting all musicians in headlining bands (factoring in all the backing musicians) the gender split was about 8.5 percent women, 91.5 percent men. How do local music festivals compare? Well, July’s upcoming XPoNential Festival has a near-perfect Trivial Pursuit wedge of female-led acts — 16.7 percent. (Women make up about 8.8 percent of the total musicians.) Last weekend’s Roots Picnic had slightly more women, with a quarter of frontpeople and about 13 percent of total musicians being female. You don’t truly understand how few women there are in hardcore until you’ve parsed the massive, 53-band, 249-musician lineup of this August’s This Is Hardcore Fest and come up with only two outliers: bassist Amanda Daniels of Enabler and frontwoman Reba Meyers of Code Orange Kids. And the Mad Decent Block Party? Zero women. To be clear: This isn’t an argument that karaoke DJs, R5 Productions, ?uestlove, WXPN, hardcore boys or Mad Decent hate women, or that they’re bad people, or that they’re doing anything different than what we’re all doing. But seeing such similar numbers — especially when you don’t generally find the same 5-to-1 sausage party in, say, the audience at Johnny Brenda’s — makes it feel very obvious that there’s something weird going on here. But what? And why?

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“i’M not even tRying” If you want a quick definition of privilege, forget invisible knapsacks: It’s having people take your side in an argument without your having to try very hard. And there are few things more rage-inducing than pointing out something you see as messed up, then having someone smugly explain why you are actually incorrect about your own feelings and then having a whole bunch of people agree that, yes, you’re making a big fuss out of nothing. The Internet breeds these situations; so, often, do places where women are very outnumbered by men. Sciarrino mentions that she’s felt similar types of boys-club frustrations in both her rock-’n’-roll and tech-industry lives. Most of the women at the meeting say that there’s sometimes a steep contrast between some of their male friends’ ideas about punk and politics and confrontation, and their defensive reactions when called out for, for example, making rape jokes. “It’s hard when people you respect and like come at you, like, ‘Ugh, you’re being such a drama queen about this — it’s not a big deal,’” says Ambrose. “I’d be more likely to flip out on a stranger, because it’s hard when you’re trying to have productive conversations with your friends and they’re not listening to you,” she continues. “I’ve done some stupid things — I spit in a guy’s face as he was riding in his van next to me on my bicycle and catcalling me for two blocks.” Spitting on people, she immediately amends, is actually not an effective method of dealing with anger. “You just get madder and madder and madder and madder and then you organize a Ladyfest,” she says, to general amusement. “And then hopefully the dudes that come will learn something from it. Like, not just, ‘These are bands I want to see,’ but, ‘Oh, they did this for a reason. What was that reason, that I’m contributing to? Oh, right, let’s change that.’” “Criticism does not equal condemnation. We’re just trying to make a space for people in this world. And last I checked, punk was not about propping up the system, it was about

“Last i checked, punk was not about pRopping up tHe SySteM.” making an alternative.”

“Rip HeR to SHRedS” Prestigious symphony orchestras in the ’70s don’t seem to have many useful points of overlap with DIY shows. But a study on perceptions of female classical musicians may shed some light on reasons women’s participation in the punk and indie rock scenes seems to be stalled out on that single Trivial Pursuit wedge. America’s big orchestras didn’t even admit women until World War II, and then only in a Rosie-the-Riveter sort of way. Women were mainly in the single digits until the 1970s, when a civil-rights lawsuit by an African-American bassist against the New York Philharmonic changed the way auditions were done. To prevent potential cronyism and biases about race, a policy of “blind” auditions was instituted, in which applicants play from behind a screen. An unexpected side effect was that since the ’70s, major American orchestras have seen a steady increase in female members; most are now between 35 and 45 percent female, and the trajectory seems headed toward an eventual 50/50. You could chalk that up to any number of societal factors, of course. But the really interesting part comes from a 2000 Harvard/Princeton study done over the period that auditions were changing, comparing musicians who’d auditioned in both blind and non-blind conditions. When the judges could not see the musician, about 28.6 percent of women and 20.2 percent of men advanced to the final round. When the judges could see the musician, only 19.3 percent of the women went to the final round, along with 22.5 percent of the men. It’s not that the judges were thinking, “Oh, I note that she’s a woman; her tiny brain obviously can’t handle a bassoon.” But there was clearly something happening in there — something embedded in us by the culture that makes us automatically prefer to see men playing music rather

than women.The study concluded that simply removing the opportunity for whatever subconscious bias causes judges’ perceptions of a performance to drop by quite a bit if they are aware it’s being done by a woman and to increase if they know it’s being done by a man — has been responsible for about half of the increase. Since it’s unlikely that punk shows are going to start happening behind a curtain anytime soon, then, it’s our responsibility as musicians and people who love music to try to be as aware as we can be of whatever invisible crap about women and men and music has wormed its way so deep into our heads that we’ve forgotten it’s there.

“SuggeStion” Perhaps to compensate for the lack of Sleater-Kinney, the tail end of Punk Rock Karaoke is full of women performing feminist-ish songs by men: “Punk Rock Girl”; both “Judy Is a Punk” and “Sheena Is a Punk Rocker.” Thankfully, while there are a ton of Nirvana songs, “Rape Me” is not one of them. But another song written by a man from the POV of a furious female victim is on the list: Fugazi’s “Suggestion.” I do know it by heart, and I think about it. But you know what? That song’s meant for a male voice. Though it’s probably Fugazi’s bestknown song and Ian MacKaye famously experiments with channeling the rage of a woman who has to “Suffer your words, suffer your eyes, suffer your hands,” I’ve never seen a woman sing it. But that kind of makes sense: The song isn’t actually in the voice of a woman. It’s in the voice of a straight, white, cisgender, able-bodied hardcore guy who’s figuring out how to see things from somebody else’s point of view. And maybe if you’re a dude who loves Fugazi but thinks your female friends are overreacting about rape jokes, I suggest you sing it through a few times. I’ll be over here, pretending to be Corin Tucker pretending to be Joey Ramone. (emilyg@citypaper.net)

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Comprehensive Clinical Research is currently conducting a clinical research study for patients with generalized anxiety disorder.

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GAD?

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DO YOU HAVE

You may qualify if you are 18 to 70 years of age and have been diagnosed with GAD. There will be about 8 study visits for approximately 10 weeks. Eligible participants will receive study-related medical evaluations, diagnostic procedures and an investigational drug at no charge. Compensation is available for time and travel if you qualify. For more information, please contact:

COMPREHENSIVE CLINICAL RESEARCH BERLIN, NJ 856-335-1002

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University Square is home to cultural venues, shops, eateries, and public spaces that welcome a variety of people from Penn’s campus and beyond. Dine at popular restaurants or shop for unique gifts and clothing. Catch a movie or concert. See an art show. Meet a group of friends or colleagues, or just grab a seat outside and take a break from your busy day.

34TH & WALNUT STREETS: ADOLPH BIECKER SALON*ARTISSERIE CAFÉ*AUNTIE ANNE’S*CITTA PIZZERIA*CVS*DUNKIN’ DONUTS*MAD 4 MEX* MEDITERRANEAN CAFÉ*MODERN EYE*QUIZNOS SUBS*PIPER BOUTIQUE 36TH & WALNUT STREETS: AMERICAN APPAREL* ANN TAYLOR LOFT*BLUE MERCURY*COSI*FURNITURE LIFESTYLE*PENN BOOKSTORE* PENNE RESTAURANT*PHILADELPHIA RUNNER*POD*URBAN OUTFITTERS 37TH & SPRUCE STREETS: BEIJING RESTAURANT*BONDED CLEANERS*GIA PRONTO*GREENE STREET CONSIGNMENT*SALADWORKS*WAWA 40TH STREET: BEN & JERRY’S*DISTRITO*FRESH GROCER*GREEK LADY*HARVESTGRILL &WINE BAR*LAST WORD BOOK SHOP*NATURAL SHOE STORE*METROPOLITAN BAKERY*QDOBA MEXICAN GRILL*RAVE CINEMAS*SAXBY’S*SMOKEY JOE’S

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Saturday,

8C<3

TROCADERO THEATRE

Ob bVS

Enter to Win Tickets at Citypaper.net/win

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icepack By A.D. Amorosi

³ SINCE PHILLY BEER WEEK is just about

Marcella Marsella’s “Woman Inherits the Earth” exhibition is on display at 3rd Ward through June 30.

firstfridayfocus By Holly Otterbein

³ 3RD WARD

³ AND THEN THERE’S … Marc Blumthal is much more efficient while using Google Images than the rest of us. At Napoleon, his exhibit “The Flame and the Flower” utilizes photographs from the site to raise questions about the American psyche, Ronald Reagan and WWE. Through June 28, opening Fri., June 7, 6 p.m., 319 N. 11th St., second floor, napoleonnapoleon. com. ... For two years, the artists at the Kensington collective Little Berlin have been hustling to clean up a vacant lot near their gallery. With seeds planted, weeds cleared and installations installed, it’s time to finally celebrate. Friday is the kickoff of the revamped outdoor space, dubbed the “fairgrounds.” They will host several familyfriendly arts events at the property this summer. And did I mention there’ll be free hot dogs and hamburgers at the opening? Opening Fri., June 7, 6 p.m., 2009-2011 E. York St., lb-fairgrounds.tumblr.com. (editorial@citypaper.net)

“Drawing the firecrotch... is all about power.”

If you’re a sixth-grader at heart, like me, your eye will immediately wander to one part of the exhibit “Woman Inherits the Earth”: the firecrotch. You won’t initially zero in on Marcella Marsella’s clever references to greats like Frida Kahlo or Botticelli. (Though they’re cool, too.) And you won’t straight away notice the oversaturated folk-art symbols that litter her work. Nope, your eye will be drawn to the big, red bushes in Marsella’s La révolte des recherchées, a drawing of three tough-as-nails women. Marsella, who was born with the first name Lauren, says the illustration is about clout. “Drawing the firecrotch or very flamboyant pubic hair on women is all about power,” she says. “There’s a very straight, obvious link from hair to power.” If Marsella sounds like an unapologetic feminist, wait till you see her work. She’s unafraid to drop a beheaded dude’s head into the forefront of a drawing, or reinvent 17th-century pieces by Artemisia Gentileschi, the O.G. of feminist art. But Marsella says the historical references are neither about paying homage to artists nor poking fun at them. “What I’m focused on is taking themes that I think are timeless — obviously they’re timeless because they’ve been reinvented again and again — and making them my own,” she says.

Actually, Marsella admits, it’s different when her pieces reference macho male artists such as Picasso. In those cases, she is challenging their work and its connection to the male-dominated art world. “Women barely have a voice, still, in 2013,” she says. “When they do have a voice, it’s labeled ‘feminine’ or ‘feminist,’ which is the worst thing of all in public opinion. … One way to take that on is to take on a piece of art history that is very male.” Through June 30, opening Fri., June 7, 7 p.m., 1227 N. Fourth St., 267-608-1016, philly.3rdward.com.

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tapped out, you’ll need a new something to obsess over. May I suggest a little boxing? No. It isn’t enough to just hang with fighting fists of fury — like rapper Meek Mill did with Simon “One Punch” Carr and Danny Garcia before the Roots Picnic on Saturday. You gotta get in the ring, or at least into business, with them. Yes, renowned Philly pillow-fighting promoter Damon Feldman is back to real fists and fighters for his Champions of Tomorrow boxing series featuring two-time world champ Meldrick Taylor. It starts with a press conference June 6 at The Deck in Essington, followed by bouts on June 20. ³ One person no longer in the ring — at least at the old Alhambra/Asylum space at West Ritner Street — is Joanna Pang.The owner of the Trocadero leased the wrestling/boxing/mod-martial-arts space in 2012 and wanted to renovate for mixed-use live shows with a little fighting thrown in. Now Pang is confirming what I wrote about a couple columns back, that her operation is out of the picture. Rumor has the property’s owners will be finishing renovations and reopening the spot for fights of all sorts later this year. AEG’s Jon Hampton, who was in talks with Pang about booking shows there, gave me a “no comment at this time” with regard to that location. ³ After beating Masaharu Morimoto,it was a cinch that Jose Garces would defeat Michael Symon during Sunday’s Iron Chef America: Tournament of Champions final, especially with pretzels being the night’s secret ingredient. That is, until you consider how beloved Symon is of the Food Network (and the judges looked as if they weren’t fond of Garces to begin with). So Symon won and Garces came home a loser, right? Nope. Rumor has it that Garces — who started his chef life in Philly at Stephen Starr’s Alma de Cuba and El Vez — is looking to open a Manhattan restaurant with Starr in the near future. And it will be an El Vez, no less. Meanwhile, Starr’s Frankford Hall in Northern Liberties is busy June 6 with Food Network maven Marc Summers (Restaurant Impossible, Unwrapped ) hosting his second annual Dunkel Dare competition at the brew Hall. ³ That strip of Fifth Street off South that was purchased last year and included Philadelphia Record Exchange, Charles Zarit Sewing Supply and Sexploratorium is finally seeing movement. Zarit has long since hopped the river to New Jersey. The much beloved used-vinyl depot Record Exchange has already departed for 1524 Frankford Ave. And ye olde Sexploratorium and Passional Boutique are set to become one shop at 317 South St. starting June 29. ³ Cool off with more Icepack every Thursday on City Paper’sA&E blog Critical Mass (at citypaper. net/criticalmass). (a_amorosi@citypaper.net)

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curtaincall CP Theater Reviews

³ ARDEN THEATRE COMPANY

When A Little Night Music premiered on Broadway in 1973, it took Sondheim fans by surprise. The composer-lyricist was famous as an acerbic observer of contemporary life; this show’s period setting — turn-of-the-century Sweden — seemed out of his comfort zone. So did the unabashedly sentimental plot: the story of an aging actress, Desiree Armfeldt, and her complicated love life. Yet Night Music was one of Sondheim’s stronger commercial successes, and its lush, tuneful score includes his one bona fide hit single: Desiree’s hauntingly bittersweet “Send in the Clowns.” At the Arden, Night Music is very handsome to look at, and director Terrence Nolen has staged the show elegantly. Grace Gonglewski as Desiree gives a nuanced performance. Though she’s not really the glamorous woman of mystery we’ve come to expect in the role, Gonglewski is luminous in her own way. She is surrounded by a mostly capable supporting cast, and there are expert comic turns by Ben Dibble (as Carl-Magnus, Desiree’s dumb but potent boyfriend) and Karen Peakes (as Charlotte, Carl’s long-suffering wife). What is largely absent here is the sophisticated European-ness that Sondheim’s operetta calls for. Even the character of Madame Armfeldt, Desiree’s mother, who is meant to represent the old guard, is played (by Sally Mercer) with no-nonsense practicality. Night Music is all about sex in its many manifestations. Here, though, while the words evoke love and longing, the attitude is drily contemporary. “The sun won’t set,” the chorus laments, waiting for the Scandinavian summer day to end. But when nighttime finally arrives, I’m not sure this

A Little Night Music

likeable but forthrightly unromantic group will know what to do with it. Through June 30, $36-$48, Arden Theatre, 40 N. Second St., 215-9221122, ardentheatre.org —David Anthony Fox

³ NEW CITY STAGE COMPANY

Classic wrestling — with its iconic costumed characters, frothing proclamations and cartoonish violence — seems a tired topic for satire. And, in fact, that’s not Adam Rapp’s intention in American Sligo.The play’s initial impression, however, is “wrestlers at home.” John Jezior plays Art Sligo with magnificent understatement despite his red tights and curly mullet wig. Sligo presides at the dinner table of his Ohio home (realistically rendered by S. Cory Palmer), applying the makeup that transforms him into wrestling hero Crazy Train. Across the table sits Bobby (Jordan B. Mottram), a fan who’s won a trip to see Crazy Train’s final match. Relentlessly cheerful Aunt Bobbie (Susanne Sulby) tries to serve a dignified meal, while Art’s son Kyle (Sam Sherburne) snipes at her. Older son Victor (Allen Radway) is an unstable ex-con with an expensive habit. Another place setting holds a shrine for their late mother. Bobby’s adoration reveals his neediness early — he lacks a father — but Art Sligo isn’t a strong candidate. When Aunt Bobbie entreats Art to say something to Victor, the taciturn giant replies, “Like what? ‘Stop being an asshole?’ I tried that one a million times.” Each character’s needs are gaping wounds: Aunt Bobbie yearns for acceptance from the Sligo men, for whom she’s a poor substitute for her dead sister. Both sons seek Daddy’s respect: Kyle apes him openly, but words are his

[ arts & entertainment ]

only strength; Victor lashes out because his crimes cost him all credibility. Art’s needs are the least articulated, expressed in his weary determination to perform one last time and his occasional frustrated outbursts. Who will he be after his final match ends? Victor’s late arrival knocks Sligo careening into family tragedy with a dark absurdism reminiscent of Sam Shepard’s best. Unlike Shepard, Rapp includes credible women: Ginger Dayle as Victor’s Piggly Wiggly pickup, Francesca Piccioni as Kyle’s rebellious teenage admirer and the fascinating, heartbreaking mess that is Sulby’s Aunt Bobbie. The play takes shocking turns, well orchestrated by director Aaron Cromie, in a titanic clash of strong, committed performances. More scary than the play’s irreversible events are their grounding in a believable family; unlike wrestling’s contrived heroes, these people are horribly real. Through June 23, $26, Adrienne Theatre, 2030 Sansom St., 215-563-7500, newcitystage.org. —Mark Cofta ✚ Find reviews for EgoPo’s Uncle Tom’s Cabin and

Philadelphia Theatre Company’s Venus in Fur online at citypaper.net/arts.

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FILMS ARE GRADED BY CITY PAPER CRITICS A-F.

Before Midnight

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✚ NEW

COLUMBIA PICTURES PRESENTSMUSICA POINT GREY/MANDATECO-PICTURES PRODUCTION “THIS IS THE END” JONATHAN KARP BY HENRY JACKMAN PRODUCERS JAY BARUCHEL MATTHEW LEONETTI JR. NATHAN KAHANE NICOLE BROWN JASONPRODUCED STONE BARBARA A. HALL ARIEL SHAFFIR KYLE HUNTER SETH ROGENDIRECTED& EVAN GOLDBERG BY SETH ROGEN EVAN GOLDBERG JAMES WEAVER BY SETH ROGEN & EVAN GOLDBERG

MUSIC SUPERVISION BY EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS SCREEN STORY AND SCREENPLAY BY

CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS FOR AND SHOWTIMES STARTS WEDNESDAY, JUNE 12 THEATERS

BEFORE MIDNIGHT | ANine years after Before Sunset, Jesse (Ethan Hawke) and Céline (Julie Delpy) are older, saggier and happier, now married with angelic twin daughters and enjoying a prolonged holiday on the Greek coast. But the opening scene, in which Jesse sees off the teenage son of his first marriage at the airport, sows the seeds of discord for a couple whose relationship has always been characterized by low-level intellectual combat. Like much of Richard Linklater’s work, the Before trilogy is steeped in the pleasures of talk, which in Jesse and Céline’s case function both as foreplay and a substitute for physical intimacy. By the third film, the willthey-or-won’t-they tension has been resolved, but they’re as combative married as they ever were single — and a good thing, too, since Céline’s sharp-tongued ripostes are one of the series’ immutable delights. Encompassing the real time elapsed since Before Sunrise — 18 years, but who’s counting — Midnight is by definition a more mature work, and not just because Jesse’s affected facial hair has patches of ash. During a protracted Mediterranean lunch that occupies most of the film’s first act, the series at long last finds room to let others speak, a palpable relief after two-plus features’ worth of Jesse’s pseudo-intellectual blather. It’s a masterful sequence, like a paired-off Seven Ages of Man, with the other couples around the table expounding on their own, less neurotic, life experiences. Eventually, Céline and Jesse find themselves alone, strolling into town for a night of child-free abandon. But the solitude is a double-edged sword; tuning out the constant din of parenthood exposes the hum of issues normally shunted aside, laying the groundwork for a bravura scene that makes it clear just how low the sexual imperative has sunk in their marriage. At once the most

painful and most truly romantic film of the series, Before Midnight embraces the complexities of love realized and lived beyond its first flush. —Sam Adams (Ritz East)

THE EAST | B Offering up the spotless sheen of a much more expensive production, Brit Marling’s latest collab with longtime writing partner Zal Batmanglij is an imperfect indictment of corporate neglect, but it avoids most of the Intro to Poli Sci sanctimony peddled by activists too incensed to make sense. Landing a plum assignment with a private intelligence firm run by alpha-CEO Sharon (Patricia Clarkson), the sharp Sarah (Marling) successfully infiltrates The East, a mysterious, effective cell carrying out borderline terroristic operations, or “jams,” on companies that deserve it. Established early as a ladder-climbing boss-pleaser with a sweet, dull boyfriend (Jason Ritter) and a penchant for prayer, Sarah starts swaying away from her top-button-buttoned life, ideals shattered and remolded by the painful personal stories of determined East operatives Benji (Alexander Skarsgard), Izzy (Ellen Page) and Doc (Toby Kebbell). Batmanglij, who also directed, keeps fierce tabs on Sarah’s loyalties throughout, encouraging us to buy into her gradual shift in beliefs but stopping a few steps short of forcing us. Her white-knight mentality on both sides of the ball does chafe at certain points, but it’s ultimately a reminder of how ideas influence the value of money and vice versa. —Drew Lazor (Ritz Five) AN OVERSIMPLIFICATION OF HER BEAUTY | BTerence Nance’s first feature lives up, or down, to its prolix title: There’s nothing simple, over- or otherwise, about it. Vamping on the thinly veiled autobiography of a 2006 short called How Would You Feel?, An Oversimplification of Her Beauty is a multimedia collage incorporating (semi-)script-

✚ CONTINUING AFTER EARTH | C+

FAST & FURIOUS 6 | B

An intentionally directionless exploration of post-collegiate ennui, especially one set in New York City and shot in soaked-thru Manhattan black-andwhite, sounds like the worst environment for harvesting wild charm. And yet that’s the strongest suit of Noah Baumbach and Greta Gerwig’s Frances Ha. In between sipping tea, breezing through parties and drunkenly snuggling with roommate Sophie (Mickey Sumner), Frances (Gerwig) is an apprentice at a dance company, a job that she treats more as an artistic diversion than a means to make rent.

Unwilling to abandon her bubble, she dumps boyfriend Dan (Michael Esper) after he asks her to move in with him — not counting on Sophie surprising her with news that she’s leaving their roost for Tribeca. Aside from the immediate strain on the relationship, the change kicks off a feature-length poke-around for Frances as she tries to figure out what, and who, the hell she’s supposed to be. Gerwig deserves credit for making Frances relatable to anyone who suddenly realizes they’re being forced to grow up. She’s witty

IRON MAN 3 | C An action-flick outlier with a knack for smartassery, Shane Black seems like an ideal successor to Iron Man constant

++++

“

A GREAT CONSPIRACY THRILLER.” A TWISTY, BREATHLESS GENRE FILM.”

“

BRIT MARLING ALEXANDER SKARSGÅRD ELLEN PAGE AND PATRICIA CLARKSON

WeAreTheEast.com EXCLUSIVE ENGAGEMENTS CENTER CITY Landmark’s Ritz Five START FRIDAY, JUNE 7 (215) 440-1184

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The rare blockbuster franchise to actually pay attention to what interests its audience, the Fast & Furious movies have sustained their popularity with an easy-breezy mix of simple, familiar characters, gleefully over-the-top ac-

FRANCES HA | B+

Most sequels repeat their predecessors with diminishing returns, but The Hangover 3 tries a different tack, dumping the fill-in-the-blanks structure for straightforward comic action. Unfortunately, the impetus behind the change has less to do with a push for novelty than simple franchise fatigue. The onscreen disaffection of Bradley Cooper and Ed Helms reeks of paychecks already spent, leaving Zack Galifianakis to fill the void with schtick that works better around the margins. Ken Jeong reprises his role as a lunatic

Jon Favreau, but the proceedings are excessive. Sure, it’s a little shortsighted to chide an Iron Man movie for bombast, but Black, working off a script he also co-wrote, detonates so many unbelieva-bombs that any semblance of decorum is shredded. While most of our heroes suffer from some form of PTSD, Stark (Robert Downey Jr.) might be the only one who gets legit panic attacks — he’s knotted up from The Avengers, of course, and it’s affecting his relationship with the exasperated Pepper Potts (Gwyneth Paltrow). Things take a crappier turn once cunning Mandarin (Ben Kingsley), Stark’s greatest nemesis in the comics, begins broadcasting terroristic messages on national TV. There are some striking SFX at work here, and Black does well keeping

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Even with help from Will Smith, who conceived the story, M. Night Shyamalan’s new father-son sci-fi tale is uniquely tiresome, cramming as many uninspired action scenes, mistyeyed moments and whizzing gadgets into 100 minutes as possible while still managing to drag. Set a millenium after humans abandoned Earth, the eager-to-please Kitai Raige (Jaden Smith) joins his stoic military father, Cypher (Will Smith, naturally), on an interplanetary mission that goes awry, leaving them as the sole survivors on a planet once roamed by humans. With Cypher incapacitated by two broken legs, Kitai must trek solo through the wilds to get help. But dad isn’t out of the picture: With the help of futuristic technology he can watch his son’s every move, bark stilted commands at him (“Recognize your power”) or wax philosophical (“Danger is real, fear is a choice”) — but not much else. Playing a flat character might be the elder Smith’s way of giving his son the chance to shine, but Jaden, alternating between woe-is-me snivelling and brattish self-assurance, fails to charm. Further compounding the film’s confusion is this weird accent of the future — a cross between BBC English and the babblings of a moonshine maker drunk on his own brew — that muddles whatever is being said. Shyamalan’s signature head-scratcher twist never comes, but by the film’s end the audience is perplexed enough. —Paulina Reso (Wide release)

THE HANGOVER PART III | D

[ movie shorts ]

the agenda | food | classifieds

Read Drew Lazor’s review at citypaper.net/movies. (Wide release)

criminal with the bare minimum of effort; even his accent seems halfhearted. Director Todd Philips would plainly rather be making a straight-up action movie, shooting the wolf pack’s foray into Tijuana as if he’s William Friedkin and going long stretches without so much as attempting a joke — which, given how flatly the ones he tries land, is just as well. On the one hand, it’s sad to see erstwhile ’packer Justin Bartha taken out of the mix (and, presumably, profit participation) early in the film, held hostage by John Goodman’s gangster to force the movie’s stars to do his dirty work. But Bartha turns out to have a pretty sweet deal: At least he gets to skip most of this joyless, pointless movie. —SA (Wide release)

but naive, comfortable in her own skin but flummoxed by the prospect of living in it. The aimless rush to become an adult, and all the accidental discoveries that happen along the way, is at the heart of Frances Ha, and it’s the most hopeful Baumbach has seemed in years. —DL (Ritz Five)

a&e

THE PURGE

tion and a crowd-pleasing team dynamic that places the responsibility in the hands of humans in lieu of CGI-addicted superheroes. For the series’ sixth installment, Justin Lin has successfully taken the brand from its import-tuner roots to the realm of light international espionage, resulting in two hours of good, clean, kernel-crunching fun. Retired to an extradition-free seaside villa and living off the spoils of Fast Five’s Brazilian job, Dominic Toretto (Vin Diesel) and Brian O’Conner (Paul Walker) have become reluctant family men, but neither racer feels quite right about the quiet life. Soon, scenery-gnawing DSS agent Luke Hobbs (Dwayne Johnson) shows up with a proposition — full pardons for the entire group if they assist in taking down Owen Shaw (Luke Evans), a mercenary who’s knocking off military convoys to build a powerful doomsday device. Plenty of high-end rubber’s burned across Europe en route to the showdown with Shaw, but it’s the corny-but-enjoyable interplay of the crew that makes this summertime junk food go down easy. —Drew Lazor (Wide release)

the naked city | feature

ed scenes, documentary, live action and several forms of animation, all to brood over the failure of a romantic relationship and examine how it lives on, or doesn’t, in memory. Multiple narrators, including Nance and the sonorous bass of Reg E. Cathey, fight for dominance as retellings of the past overlap and reconfigure themselves. As an art-school thesis, it’s fitfully fascinating, but it’s also painfully overwrought, never using two syllables when five will do. The movie has fleeting moments of visual poetry, but it’s the very definition of promise unfulfilled. —SA (Ritz at the Bourse)

feature | the naked city

Stark’s motives congruous with past installments. It’s just that this is the super-sequel equivalent of ordering a single shot and receiving a quintuple. —DL (Wide release)

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Taking a deep plunge into the middlebrow, Danish director Susanne Bier’s Love Is All You Need is an unashamedly predictable variation on the hoary trope of a middle-aged woman finding love in the sun-drenched Italian countryside. The basic arc is set in stone from the introduction of the two leads: Ida (Trine Dyrholm) blithely dismisses her doctor’s suggestion that her husband may be conflicted about her recent mastectomy, while Philip (Pierce Brosnan) eats breakfast alone in his sterile, severely modern condo. Revealing that he’ll expose her to life’s possibilities while she unfreezes his cold heart is hardly worthy of a spoiler alert. Still, while the story heads directly to its obvious destination, Bier and longtime co-screenwriter Anders Thomas Jensen take numerous detours, diverted by the cloud of mortality hanging over Ida’s breast-cancer diagnosis or the messy complications of family relations. The film’s darker tendencies never manage to conceal its contrivances, but they do add an interestingly bitter tinge to the saccharine flavor. —SB (Ritz at the Bourse)

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LOVE IS ALL YOU NEED | C

NOW YOU SEE ME | C

“ THE PERFECT SUMMER MOVIE”. -Karen Durbin, Durbin, ELLE -Karen

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“IN THE TRADITION OF ‘STAND BY ME’, WITH THE OFFBEAT EDGE OF ‘ MOONRISE KINGDOM’...” -Claudia Puig, Puig, USA TODAY -Claudia

SPECIAL ENGAGEMENTS START FRIDAY, JUNE 7

CENTER CITY

NEW JERSEY

LANDMARK THEATRES

RAVE MOTION PICTURES

Center City 215-925-7900

Voorhees 856-783-2726

RITZ FIVE

RITZ CENTER 16

Combining touches from the National Treasure and Italian Job templates with a handful of dorky, endearing magic-kit tricks, Now You See Me is a new look for Louis Leterrier. But while this crewed-up caper in a bottle is more buoyant than the overbearing action specialist’s Transporters or Titans, it’s still too trite to be memorable. Recruited by an unnamed individual and bankrolled by a rich prick (Michael Caine), low-level illusionists Daniel (Jesse Eisenberg), Merritt (Woody Harrelson), Henley (Isla Fisher) and Jack (Dave Franco) capture national attention with a Vegas Strip act that climaxes with them robbing a Parisian bank. Rumpled FBI agent Rhodes (Mark Ruffalo) and his green Interpol partner (Mélanie Laurent) pull the case, tracking “The Four Horsemen” across the country as professional debunker Thaddeus Bradley (Morgan Freeman) attempts to expose the sleight-of-hand hucksters for profit. For a movie that bills itself as one big act of misdirection, there really isn’t much real-time trickery involved — why bother, when you can just backtrack every 45 minutes to explain away loose ends, no questions asked? The only shortcoming more disappointing than the lazy conclusion that doubles as a “big reveal” is the lack of

screen time for Franco, who drives the movie’s most exciting and creative action sequence. —DL (Wide release)

STAR TREK INTO DARKNESS | BStar Trek Into Darkness is a disappointment, but not an unwatchable one. The movie contains a few shoutouts to longtime fans — look, a Tribble! — and the requisite quantity of witty banter, which Chris Pine and Zachary Quinto do an admirable job of batting back and forth as Captain Kirk and Spock. The film’s supporting cast are good for a few laughs too, although Dr. McCoy (Karl Urban) descends into cringe-worthy cheesiness more often than not. But Into Darkness relies too heavily on slick action sequences and not enough on its excellent actors, including Benedict Cumberbatch, who just glowers his way through the film. As the lead bad guy, he simply isn’t given enough to do, nor any space to demonstrate his considerable charisma. And because Cumberbatch’s few lines have largely been included in the trailers, they feel stale. Cumberbatch’s Khan could have been a great villain, but the film wastes the actor’s talent. —Jake Blumgart (Wide release) STORIES WE TELL | AActress/director Sarah Polley begins her first documentary by revealing the self-consciousness and discomfort of her subjects — who also happen to be her family. Stories We Tell is, on one level, a family memoir focused on the revelations of Polley’s biological paternity and her mother’s infidelity. But, as confessional as it may be, the film is less interested in telling all than in examining why we tell what we do. By having even those peripherally involved recount their version of the story, Polley reveals the ways in which everyone selectively remembers events in order to fit their own subjective narrative. Largely due to her family’s openness, the film also becomes a frank and unsentimental, though touching, study of adult relationships and the compromises that come with being a parent. For those familiar with Polley’s earlier work, Stories We Tell also forces a retroactive re-evaluation of her last film, Take This Waltz, which echoes her mother’s dilemma in its examination of a woman torn between a contented marriage and a passionate affair. It’s a fascinating commingling of life and art that reveals something much deeper than one family’s secrets. —Shaun Brady (Ritz Five)

[ movie shorts ]

Sandlot (1993, U.S., 101 min.): Everyone knows that Squints can’t swim. And for good measure: “You’re killing me, Smalls.” Sat., June 8, 11 a.m., $5. Little Shop of Horrors Sing-along

(1986, U.S., 94 min.): Quite possibly the most emotionally affecting musical about bloodthirsty flora. Free popcorn if you show up in costume. Wed., June 12, 7 p.m., $10.50.

FRIENDS OF THE PHILADELPHIA CITY INSTITUTE LIBRARY Free Library, Philadelphia City Institute Branch, 1905 Locust St., 215685-6621, freelibrary.org. Impromptu (1991, U.S., 107 min.): Not even 1830s France can escape Hugh Grant’s romcom “Oh pardon me!” blusterings. Judy Davis, on the other hand … Wed., June 12, 2 p.m., free.

INTERNATIONAL HOUSE 3701 Chestnut St., 215-387-5125, ihousephilly.org. The Times of Harvey Milk (1984, U.S., 90 min.): A documentary on Milk’s rise in California politics, his subsequent assassination and his continuing human-rights legacy. Sat., June 8, 7 p.m., $9.

PHILLY BEER WEEK Malt House Ltd., 7101 Emlen St., 215242-1700, malthouseltd.com. Beerfest (2006, U.S., 110 min.): Redeemed only by Will Forte’s brief appearance — but, ja, even that’s pushing it. Thu., June 6, 8:20 p.m., free.

RITZ AT THE BOURSE 400 Ranstead St., 215-440-1181, landmarktheatres.com. Samurai Cop (1989, U.S., 96 min.): So you’ll know who to call the next time a Japanese crime syndicate invades your town and you need a law-enforcement officer classically trained in wielding katanas. Fri., June 7, midnight, $10.

TROCADERO THEATER 1003 Arch St., 215-922-6888, thetroc. com. Wet Hot American Summer (2001, U.S., 97 min.): The holy grail of 1980s summer-camp parodies features the best use of both a talking can of beans and a rogue piece of Skylab. Mon., June 10, 8 p.m., $3.

More on:

citypaper.net ✚ FOR COMPREHENSIVE EVENT LISTINGS, VISIT C I T Y PA P E R . N E T / L I S T I N G S .

INVITES YOU TO A SPECIAL ADVANCE SCREENING OF

TO ENTER FOR YOU AND A GUEST TO ATTEND THIS SPECIAL ADVANCE SCREENING VISIT THE CONTEST PAGE WWW.CITYPAPER.NET/WIN

NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. Supplies limited. One pass per person. Each pass admits two. Must be 18 to enter. Seating is available on a first-come, first-served basis and not guaranteed. Employees of promotional partners are ineligible. All decisions are final. This film is rated R.

IN THEATERS JUNE 12 www.thisistheend.com

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f&d

foodanddrink

amusebouche By Adam Erace

CAFE SOCIETY METROPOLITAN CAFE | 264 S. 19th St., 215-545-

6655, metropolitanbakery.com. Hours: Tue.-Fri., 7:30 a.m.-7 p.m.; Sat.-Sun., 8 a.m.-6 p.m. Breakfast, $1.50-$8.50; salads, $7.50-$10.50; sandwiches, $7.25-$8.95; desserts, $2-$6.

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³ FROSTED BLONDE AND built like a safety pin,

a woman in her 60s wandered up to the counter at the 4-month-old Metropolitan Cafe and in a luscious French accent ordered a cappuccino. She perched like a crane on a stool near the windows, posture and outfit immaculate, and took ladylike sips while reading the paper. I couldn’t help staring, and when she caught me, I half-expected to be doused in Green Street espresso and steamed milk. Instead, she smiled. I smiled back, through a mouthful of house-baked raspberry Pop-Tart crisscrossed with Meyer-lemon icing. It’s moments like these that crystallize the draw of the neighborhood hangout. Whether at a grimy shot-and-beer bar or a cafe with a living green wall and a communal table, the sense of community is almost as important as anything served. Fortunately, Metropolitan Cafe happens to serve some very good food with their Point Breeze-roasted joe. James Barrett and Wendy Smith Born,White Dog disciples who started Metropolitan Bakery in 1993, know their way around carbs, and that shows in baked goods like the chewy, crispy fennel-scented pretzel; chunky granola scattered over tangy housemade ricotta; and creamy cheddar biscuits, the perfect vehicles for baked eggs. Chefs Mike Flannigan and Jen Penna handle the rest, turning out top-crust pot pies, mini pizzas, gooey short-rib grilled-cheese sandwiches and hearty salads. Farmers’-market greens support shaved fennel and beets in one salad, toasted quinoa and cubed butternut squash in another. Peachy clerks staffing the counter deliver your food after you order. The logistics are a bit confusing: You get your own water and silverware. But it’s not clear what to do with your dirty dishes. Twice, my takeout requests were pleasantly rebuffed and diverted to the bakery next door, and once, my biscuit sandwich was missing the advertised bacon-onion jam. Ketchup instead? The clerk shook her head apologetically, leaving me with a naked egg-and-cheese that could have been extraordinary but was merely good. By the time I’d finished that sandwich, all that remained of the French woman was a lipstick stain on her cup. But a crush of well-heeled replacements was pushing into the cafe. Born, who’d wandered over from next door, greeted them all by name. (adam.erace@citypaper.net)

GRASSROOTS: Katy Jacoby and Rich Landau are coming at vegetable cookery in a new direction. MARK STEHLE

[ cookbook shelf ]

VEGETABLE, MINIMAL Rich Landau and Kate Jacoby, the pioneering pair behind Vedge, are spreading vegetable love with their new cookbook. By Caroline Russock

his has always been known as a cheesesteak and scrapple town, but vegetarianism has been huge in Philadelphia for as long as I can remember,” says Rich Landau, chef-owner of Vedge restaurant. His wife and partner Kate Jacoby pulls out her phone to reveal a snapshot of an unlikely menu item from the previous evening’s dinner at Old City colonial restaurant City Tavern: More on: Sally Lunn-breaded fried tofu. Although one might not expect to see this vegetarian option on a decidedly meat-heavy menu that includes schnitzel and medallions of beef, the recipe is period-perfect. City Tavern’s menu reveals that “in a 1770 letter to John Bartram, Benjamin Franklin included instructions on how to make tofu.” “Ben Franklin ate tofu. How crazy is that?” laughs Landau. Landau and Jacoby’s passion for vegetable cookery might not date back to the 18th century, but they’ve been a driving force on the local meat-free scene for some time now. Landau opened Horizons Cafe in Willow Grove in 1994 and moved it to just off South Street in 2006, which was five years after Jacoby came on board as pastry chef.

“

citypaper.net

Vedge, the pair’s modern vegan restaurant, opened in 2011, a time when finding a great vegetarian meal in Philadelphia was decidedly less of a challenge. “Every chef in town does asparagus topped with a fried egg and a little bit of Parmesan,” says Landau. “And that’s a ‘sexy’ vegetable dish, but c’mon, it’s cheating. Put Parmesan and an egg on anything and it’s going to taste good.” Landau and Jacoby’s approach has nothing to do with these fatty, tasty shortcuts. Theirs lies firmly in the integrity of the produce. “Everything from rutabaga to asparagus, you name it — there’s an incredible variety of colors, flavors and textures,” Landau says. “We’re trying to get people to change their approach to vegetables, having them move from the side of the plate to the center, becoming the focus of the meal.” Vedge aims to accomplish this vegetable-centric mission in a way that few other vegetarian and vegan MORE FOOD AND restaurants have pursued. Given the cool DRINK COVERAGE wood-and-marble dining room of Vedge, AT C I T Y P A P E R . N E T / it’s clear that this is not your typical tofuM E A LT I C K E T. scramble/wheatgrass-carrot-apple juice health-food joint. “This is not some hippie shack somewhere,” notes Landau, stating what’s already quite clear. “We’re not all high listening to the Grateful Dead, stirring vegan chili. We’re serving fine dining and we believe that there’s a place for this in the country.” With a menu that’s home to a spring-pea crepe with royal trumpet mushrooms, whipped Yukon Gold potatoes, pea leaves and truffle; grilled baby bok choy with ramp kimchi; celery- and limeinfused daiquiris; along with a truly wonderful natural wine program, Landau and Jacoby’s ingenuity makes Vedge a destination >>> continued on adjacent page

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restaurant for adventurous omnivores, low-key locavores and cocktail connoisseurs alike. For Landau, Vedge is more than just a restaurant: â&#x20AC;&#x153;We wanted to make a statement â&#x20AC;&#x201D; not just in Philadelphia, because we had already done that with Horizons. Vedge is more about making a national statement, about where this can go. Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re not ego-driven chefs and owners. Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re food-driven. Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re ingredient-driven, and thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a little bit of a mission behind this. We want to really wake people up to what we could be eating, what we should be eating and what this experience can be.â&#x20AC;? In a few weeks, Landau and Jacobyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s third cookbook, Vedge (The Experiment, July 30), will be published. Vedge aims to spread the vegetable gospel in a way that is engaging (stories and recipes from the coupleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s travels), informative (factual information about vegetables and technique) and, most importantly, accessible. Landau admits that heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not a big cookbook guy, especially those from certain celebrity chefs that are, say, a little advanced. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m reminded of this one comedian that I saw. Heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s mocking cooking shows: â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Today weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re going to make a recipe that you canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t understand, using ingredients that you wonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t be able to find, on equipment you canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t afford, in a kitchen bigger than your whole fucking apartmentâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; â&#x20AC;&#x201D; and I thought that was the funniest thing Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve ever heard.â&#x20AC;? For Jacoby, Vedge is about familiarizing people with seasonal produce: â&#x20AC;&#x153;People get their CSA in the summertime and they donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t know what to do with it â&#x20AC;&#x201D; and they get a lot of it. And theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re stumped. The go-to is a stir-fry or a saute, but thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a lot more that you can do. The book should be helpful for people no matter their skill level or if theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re looking for new ideas.â&#x20AC;? Freshness is key. Landau happily describes the little beads of water that spray from a perfectly fresh carrot. He goes on to say that you wouldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t buy meat with little white spots, and the same goes for vegetables. Another important element is simplicity: â&#x20AC;&#x153;There are some incredibly simple recipes in the book that show you how perfect a vegetable can be if it is perfectly cooked,â&#x20AC;? says Landau. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s one, for example, for tatsoi [Japanese spinach] in what we call a sea-water broth, a lightly salted broth with kombu [dried kelp] and a dash of tamari. And if you drank this broth on its own, it would just taste like the sea. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a simple brushstroke, a single expression on the plate of simplicity.â&#x20AC;? Just like dining at Vedge, flipping through the pages of Landau and Jacobyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s cookbook makes one feel the coupleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s commitment to spreading vegetable love that begs all sorts of grassroots-organic puns. But when it comes down to it, their approach to vegetables is nothing but pure and entirely relevant. (caroline@citypaper.net)

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food

This is not some hippie shack somewhere. Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re not all high listening to the Grateful Dead, stirring vegan chili.

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[ food & drink ]

GREAT FOOD AND BEER AT SURPRISING PRICES

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HAPPY HOUR 5-7

By Carly Szkaradnik

Seven Days a Week. ½ OFF ALL DRAFTS! Kitchen open till 1am every night. Open 5pm-2am 7days a week. CHECK OUT OUR UPSTAIRS: Pool Table, Darts, Video Games! Corner of 10th and Watkins . 1712 South 10th 215-339-0175 . Facebook.com/watkinsdrinkery

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[ food & drink ]

FROM 7-MIDNIGHT!

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$2 TACOS EVERY SUNDAY

³ THE WEEK IN EATS Resurrection Ale House All Weekend Wood

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Fri., Jun. 7, through Sun., Jun. 9, pay as you go ³ The Resurrection folks take their beer pretty seriously yearround, so when Philly Beer Week rolls around, you know you’re in for something exceptional. Like three full days featuring an incredible array of barrel-aged brews from Tilquin, Russian River, Lost Abbey, Firestone Walker and more than 15 others. Better yet, to help soak up all those suds, chef Rhett Vellner’s running a special all-scrapple menu throughout Beer Week — until now, such a thing existed only in our dreams. Resurrection Ale House, 2425 Grays Ferry Ave., 215-735-2202, resurrectionalehouse.com. Third Annual Philadelphia Vendy Awards Sat., Jun. 8, 2 p.m., $55 ³ On Saturday, 17 food trucks will convene at Penn Treaty Park to ply the crowd and judges with their best dishes in hopes of taking home this year’s Vendy Cup (or at least the People’s Choice or Best Dessert honors). Previous years’ winners include Sweet Box cupcakes and Mark Coates’ erstwhile Smoke Truck. Tickets include all the street eats you’re willing to line up for, from the likes of the Poi Dog Snack Shop, The Cow and the Curd and Lil’ Pop Shop. The cost of admission also covers allyou-can-chug beer from sponsor Brooklyn Brewery. All proceeds benefit The Food Trust. Penn Treaty Park, 1341 N. Delaware Ave., streetvendor.org/vendys. Eighth Annual Great Chefs Event Tue., Jun. 11,

6 p.m., $525 and up ³ No way around it, the annual fundraiser for Alex’s Lemonade Stand and the Vetri Foundation for Children is a splurge — even more so if you’re scrambling to get in now, as general-admission tickets are sold out. But it’s also the biggest and best gala known to the Philly food world, featuring A-list chefs from around the country, so it might be worth it to consider sneaking in at the sponsor level if you’ve got an extra thousand bucks or more lying around. After-party access tickets are slightly more affordable, and the late-night revelry at Alla Spina is sure to be over the top: If elbowrubbing with celeb chefs, barbecue from Adam Perry Lang (Daisy May’s) and untold amounts of booze aren’t enough for you, a performance by Questlove might help seal the deal. Urban Outfitters Headquarters, Navy Yard, 5000 S. Broad St., 215-735-0200, vetrifoundation.org. (carly@citypaper.net)

To place your FREE ad (100 word limit) ³ email lovehate@citypaper.net ARE YOU A WOMEN OR UFO?

HONESTLY You keep approaching me because you wanna hang out...I am not a hang out person. It is weird to me because you are very persitant with it and it gets on my nerves. I am not the person who you think that I am...if we are going to be friends, then

until we see each other and dwell in each other’s juices! You are my sunshine my only sunshine. With you there is no other..and there never will be....I will always love you...

I WALKED 12K MILES Do you remember when I first looked you up? I was in the land of down under and you were in the land of the free? I sent you a message to see how you were and being okay? I started to chat with you on how you were feeling? After a while I started to love you from far away! Now I am here with you, with my heart beating with every sight of love I have for you!! You are great, kind, funny and all

BAD FRIEND I just don’t know how to get through to you. I am writing this out of frustration and anger. Do you not understand that your behavior has consequences? When you have made plans with friends, don’t make up bullshit excuses to break them, and then post pictures of you on facebook having fun somewhere else. You are hurting those who love you the most, and it really has to stop, or you will find yourself without anyone. I am pleading with you to stop being a bad friend. It is not who you are.

TO THE GUYS...

Hey cousin, I am worried about you! You tell me a lot of stuff about your guy Tom, but it doesn’t make any sense to me because you still want to be bothered with his shit! Is it because you like eating shit or something? Tell me the truth about yourself. Why do you like humiliation? Why do you keep doing this to yourself? I am so tired of hearing about him! I love you cousin, but most of the time I don’t think that you think with your mind. Use your mind not your body more, you would catch more flies!

WE FIGHT ALOT

GOOD RIDDANCE BITCH

let’s just do that...but if you desire more than I don’t know what to tell you. I am a very private person, and would love for it to remain that way. Do me a favor, say hi and keep going.

I LOVE YOU Damn Fobe, I miss the hell out of you and I wish that you were here in every way possible because I am so lost without you and I think that I mentioned it the last time that I wrote you a letter and you never replied from that letter. I wish that you and I could be together again. I really can’t wait

I want is you. I traveled 12K miles to be the one and only one for my mind body soul and life. You complete me!! Love domo/ yes man. Xx

LOVEHATE It’s been 8yrs. You cheated since day one, I forgave you. The last straw was sexing my bottom on the grass at a camp last August that shattered my heart. Laughing at me in front 200 ppl, now I’m laughing. To think I gave you power to be my Dom, when you are clueless beyond a doubt. How did you ever become a Dr?! Soon, this skirt,

You and I really fight but I am glad that we make up...My cousin was a piece of shit for saying what he said...he thinks that you and I need to break up! He don’t understand that is how you and I are...we fight because we do...other than that I don’t know what else to tell you..you are my cousin...that is it..you are not my fucking man...you know that I know...don’t think that I don’t...we supposed to be better than that...

✚ ADS ALSO APPEAR AT CITYPAPER.NET/lovehate. City Paper has the right to re-publish “I Love You, I Hate You”™ ads at the publisher’s discretion. This includes re-purposing the ads for online publication, or for any

other ancillary publishing projects.

P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R | J U N E 6 - J U N E 1 2 , 2 0 1 3 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T |

Who picked me up and put me on my feet..I was skating down South Street one week night, extremely depressed. I tripped up on some gravel and did a face plant, and didn’t want to get up. I laid there bruised and battered for a full minute and you walked over and helped me up. You didn’t just take my hand; one pulled my arm up, while the other lifted me up by my torso back onto my feet. A third man retrieved my board. Thank you for showing me that there is genuine random human kindness in this world. You lifted me onto my feet - and my soul started to lift itself up out of the dark.

FRIENDS OR LOVERS

Hey Jupiter...what a twist into a distance between

I love you so much! I wish, you was with me here instead of being all the way down south! Why can’t you send me a ticket to come down there and freak your ass to death and come back up here and pretend that I did nothing! I love the fact that I am going to see you real soon. I love the fact that you can make love to my mind! I love the fact that you and I were meant to be! And that we shall be together soon! I love you so much...words can’t describe how I feel about you!

To the guy “T” that I ran into the other day on the train you were giving me the shish with your fingers when I said your name who do you think you are with you stupid ass! I know in my heart under your hat you were fucking bald headed! I think that you are a joke and I always did! It was obvious when I said your name the way that I did that I was happy to see your stupid ass! Oh, I can play phony also, just like you! I hope the girl that you were with, didn’t think that I was trying to pick you up because the same along time ago, I could care less, and as I said before, I was surprised that you spoke. The people from your class was shady and you still are!

Your shit definitely was not that fucking important...What the fuck is wrong with some people... think about it shit happens to you for a damn balding ass that shit comes right back sometimes. I hate the fact that you think that you are the bomb.. You’re nothing and never will be nothing...OK four eyes... get a clue I hate you with a passion...And my passion runs into hate...Hate runs into rage... I just hate you...you know who you are....Stay in your place...

HEY JUPITER...

LOVING YOU!

RUN IN TO

BITCH

I considered you one of my closest friends but you betrayed me, how come when you put something smart or important or intellegent on facebook you have a need to say something smart and disrespectful it is shame that there are people are who are intellegent about a news worthy event and you take them down a notch it is obviousus when you were in high school that you cut class and it shows, but is all cool though, that is why I never came out there when you invited me to your house, and you know what also, you a dumb ass bitch! Why don’t you get a real fucking job and stop living off of tax payers money!

as you like calling women, will be modi g again, passing you by. Thanks for being such a worthless lying piece of shit of a male. You taught me not to fall for bullshit, especially from a man of your age that relies on Viagra!!! BTW-thought all guys were bigger than 3 inches!! Enjoy that escort cunt whore of

classifieds

Hey, are you regular or what? of all the empty bar stools you had to sit next to me. Is your boyfriend for real? You talk about him like he’s this fuckin’ superhero porn star. But you’re always rubbing on out as you rap your shit in my ear and I gotta wipe spit off of my face. I think your man is more casper the friendly ghost. What are you from new mexico or something? Here’s a question for you, if batman played baseball which position would he play? You wacko don’t answer that cause it won’t make sense. Please keep your I’ll equipped cottage cheese thong ass out my face. Forreal. Word.

me and you...wasn’t I right to step back..and weight the blame...yet my eyes peeled open...blink twice, rub my eyes...doesn’t matter how you cut an onion, it’s all the same cry...and I still love, love you...I hope your two steps were forward and never back...but if they were, I’m never far...because I would always be your friend.

the naked city | feature | a&e | the agenda | food

[ i love you, i hate you ]

food | the agenda | a&e | feature | the naked city classifieds

merchandise market

2013 Hot Tub/Spa. Brand New! 6 person w/lounger, color lights, waterfall, Cover, 110V or 220V, Never installed. Cost $7K Ask $2990. Can deliver 610-952-0033

3 Phila Eagles SBL lower level seats Sec 116, Row 24, Seats 1,2,3 10 yrd line, $6,950 Ea, Great Seats, 570.954.1257

CAMERAS Entire Collection of Collectible Cameras: 3 Leicas & Lenses, Zeiss, Cannon, Contax, Exacta, Etc. Call 215.343.9183, 267.980.1026

US OPEN Trophy Club Badges 2 ea., Sat. 6/15 and Sun. 6/16. Call 215-850-8858

BRAZILIAN FLOORING 3/4", beautiful, $2.75 sf (215) 365-5826

33&45 RECORDS HIGHER $ Really Paid

CABINETS KITCHEN SOLID WOOD Brand new soft close/dovetail drawers, Full Overlay, Incl. Crown, Never Installed! Cost $5,300. Sell $1,590. 610-952-0033 CARPET Authentic Karastan.100%hand made. 10x14 w/fringe. mint condition.Tag and serial #avail. app. $7000. $3900.OBO (610)935-8673 Diabetic Test Strips Needed pay up to $25/box. Most brands. 610-453-2525

**Bob610-532-9408***

J U N E 6 - J U N E 1 2 , 2 0 1 3 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T

46 | P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R |

BED: Brand New Queen Pillowtop Set $145; 5pc Bedrm Set $325 215-355-3878

Please be aware Possession of exotic/wild animals may be restricted in some areas.

PARAKEETS FOR SALE - 5 Available Grn/Yellow $20.00ea 215-921-8041

BEAGLE Pups - AKC, 8 wks, 1st shots, Wormed, $300. 215.547.6314 Bernese Mountain Pups - Ready 6/4 $1,200, AKC Reg, Vet Chkd, 1st Shots, Dewormed, Farm Raised, Good pedigree, Nice Markings, 610.273.2554 Ext 9.

FURNISHED APTS Laundry-Parking 215-223-7000 25th & Indiana 1Br/1Ba $600 +Utils Air, W/W, Refridge, 215.844.0503

11XX Wingohocking 2br $700+ Utils. 1st, last, sec. 215-549-7389 220 Locust Street Spacious Studio. Great location. $1050 incls all utils and cable TV. First/last and sec dep req. 267-767-4088

52XX Greenway 1br $800 Newly reno’d, near trans. 215-758-5435

40XX BROAD ST $550 utils incl Modern W/W, 215-228-5555

79XX Forrest Ave 2 BR $850/mo plus util. 267-218-1543

English Bulldog Pups - 4 months trained. pedigree, reg., dewormed, vet checked. Call 215-696-5832

51st & Hazel/51st & Race 1br mod kit, ac $565+utl 1st/last/sec 215.474.7332 529 N. Robinson St 1br newly renovated wash/dry & C/A 267-716-3662 55th & Wyalusing 2br/1ba $575+ utils very good cond. 215.836.2476 6144 Ludlow 2Br/1Ba Apts 1, 2, Sec 8 ok, Call : 267.701.7845 8xx S. Cecil St. 1br $500+utils $1500 move in. 215.681.7978 LARGE clean 1BR. $565+utils. Close tr transp. 215-880-0612

English Springer Spainels pups 4M/3F 9 wks, $500, 1st shots, 856.624.4307 Email: CMRileyLLC@msn.com

3xx N 65th Efficiency $430 incl heat wall to wall. 610-649-3836

***215-200-0902***

Books -Trains -Magazines -Toys Dolls - Model Kits 610-639-0563

I Buy Guitars & All Musical Instruments-609-457-5501 Rob JUNK CARS WANTED We buy Junk Cars. Up to $300 215-888-8662

German Shepherd Dog Pure Breed, 2 blk males, 11 mos, $2900 obo, 856-577-9086 German Shepherd Pups 8 wks w/ docs $500 each. 302-465-3672

Bengal cats to GOOD Homes, Friendly, Low adoption fee, 619.787.0844 Siamese Kittens m/f applehead, purebred, Health Guar. $400 610-692-6408

apartment marketplace

1, 2, 3, 4 BEDROOM

2300 S. 11th St. 1BR $750 + utils 2nd floor, rear, 1st, last & sec. dep., W/D, no pets. Call 215-739-6634

33 & 45 Records Absolute Higher $

everything pets pets/livestock

Exp’d Caregiver seeks Weekend pos, Own car. References 484-250-9987

5853 N Camac 1BR $660 + utils renov, 267-271-6601 or 215-416-2757 59xx Broad St. 1br $625 Utils Modern w/w, 215-228-5555 60XX Warnock 1 BR $625+ nr Fernrock Train Station,215-276-8534 Broad & Olney 2Br $700+utils spacious bedroom, Near Trans, large living room 1st/last/sec. 215.474.6409

I Buy Anything Old...Except People! Military, toys, dolls etc Al 215.698.0787 BD a Memory Foam Mattress/Bx spring Brand New Queen cost $1400, sell $299; King cost $1700 sell $399 610-952-0033

jobs

apartment marketplace

GERMAN SHEPHERD PUPS 9 wks, 4 M Large Boned, AKC reg, OFA & DNA cert, exc disposition & nerves, temperament tested, 7 generation champs, german blood lines, superior quality, health cert/shots/wormed. 609.351.3205

SCOTTISH TERRIER - AKC, Mrs Beasley bloodline. 8 weeks. 610-705-3322 SHIH TZU pups ACA, 12 Wks, $900 Solid/Tan/white. Call 215.752.1393

22ND & WHARTON 1BR $750 New renov, washer/dryer 267-882-7752

75xx Greenhill Road efficiency $500 + water, newly renovated, near SEPTA, W/D, avail. immed. Call 215-454-9418 Apartment Homes $650-$995 www.perutoproperties.com 215.740.4900 City Line Area 2br Apts beautiful, Spring Special 215.681.1723

Balwynne Park 2BR $860+utils W/D, C/A, W/W. Call 215-219-6409

3208 CECIL B. MOORE 2BR $600 Freshly painted, 1st mo rent & 1.5 mo sec. 215828-6651

1 BR & 2 BR Apts $735-$835 spacious, great loc., upgraded, heat incl, PHA vouchers accepted 215-966-9371 239 W. Seymour 1BR/1BA $700 Efficiency $460. Call 610-287-9857 4xx Hansberry 1 BR $650 gas & water incl 215-740-0355 5321 Wayne Ave. Effic $550, Studio $575, 1Br $625, Avail Now, 215.776.6277 GERMANTOWN 3br 4941 Rubicam St. $900 + util. Call 215-833-4297 Green & Seymour Effic. $525/mo All utils inc., 1K to move in 215-765-5578

1XX Sharpnack 1Br/$650 2Br/$750 +Utils, W/D, New Reno, 2+1, 267.918.4145 66xx Cornellius St. 2BR $700 newly renov, close to trans, 267-981-1018

Broad Oaks 1BR & 2BR Lndry rm. Special Discount! 215-681-1723

3419 G St 2BR/1 BA - All New, Sec 8 Ok, Apt.2, Call: 267.701.7845

4645 Penn St. Lg 1BR $650. gas/wtr inc. Priv deck 215-781-8072

3305 Hess St. 1BR/1BA $695 Gar, A/C, W/D Hook up, 267.234.1862 ACADEMY & KNIGHTS 2BR $875 2nd flr., garage, bsmt., air. 267-342-1993

Bridesburg 2Br/3Br $900/$1000 New Reno, HDWD Flr, Granite Counter G/D, W/D, D/W,C/A, Incl Water/Sewer/Gas, 215.399.6251 Rhawn & Frankford Ave. 2br/1ba $750+ util. Plenty of storage. Prvt prkg, yrd. Immed occ 215-493-2227

Clifton Heights beautiful 1 & 2 BR Spring Special, 215-681-1723 YEADON Area Beaut/Upgraded 1 & 2 BR W/D, Spring Special 215-681-1723

NE Phila. 1 Rm, Share Kit/Ba, W/D, Cable Tv, $450/Mo Utils Incl, 484.706.4395

11xx N. 55TH ST. BRAND NEW BLDG Single rms $400, double rooms $600. Rms w/ba $500, Rms w/ba & kit $600. Fully furn w/ full size beds, fridge, & dresser. Couples welcome! SSI/SSD/VA, Payee services, Public assistance ok. Also SW, S., W., N. 267.707.6129 1252 N. 56th ST $500/mo. Clean, furn rooms. 267-241-6583 12xx Somerset $100 - $125/Wk fully furn W/Bed & Dresser 215.880.0173 14xx S.58th St & 21xx W. Hunting Park. $400/ mo util inc. 267-235-4623 1547 S. 30th St. furn, fridge, $125 week; $375 move in. no kitchen. 215-892-7198 15th St & Wharton St. $125/wk. $500 move-in. Share Ba/Kit 215.875.6803 16th & Lehigh, 21st & York, 22nd & Allegheny - $325/mo. SSI ok. 215-485-8815 16xx Orthodox St, share ba, $125 per wk. Dep req’d. Nr trans 215.743.9950 17th & Erie $100/wk, Brand new Furn rms, SSI ok 267-690-0204 22nd & Indiana Ave $100/wk & up Room in immaculate cond. 215-888-2476 23xx Lehigh Ave $330-350 kit & bath privileges 267-456-3786 24th & Allegheny/20th & Susq ROOMS 4 RENT/NO PETS $400/MONTH. $500 to MOVE IN. CALL LISA 267-516-7917

24th & Allegheny Clean Rms, $125/wk. $375 move-in, 267-251-0382 25th & York - $100/Wk Utils incl, $100 Sec Dep, Share Kit/Ba, Furn, 267.997.6271 29th & Lehigh $115/week Room for rent. 215-549-2111 3430 N 22nd St priv ent paint use of kit ww $120wk $290move in 267-997-5212 51st & Brown, furn room, SSI/SSD OK, $200/bi-wkly. Call 215-327-5511 51xx Spruce St $450/mo. Clean, furn rooms. 267-241-6583 55/Thompson deluxe quiet furn $115$145wk priv ent $200 sec 215-572- 8833 56th & Lansdowne $100-$125/wk $500/mo. Clean rms 267-251-0382 59th St S. near El furn a/c, fridge, $100/wk + $100 sec. 215-472-8119 63rd & Market, 51st & Brown, Margaret & Orthodox, 54th & Lansdown, 52nd & Race SSI Ok, New Reno, 215.290.8702 Apt. for rent 60th & Kingsessing 1+1. Rms for rent share kitch. & bath, $375 & up. 51st & Kingsessing, 52nd & Girard, SSI ok. Call 267-888-1754 Bridge & Pratt rooms from $90$110/wk. Sec. dep req. 215-432-5637 Broad/Olney furn refrig micro priv ent $115/$145wk sec $200 215.572.8833 Broad & Wyoming Area/West Phil $100-135/wk Fully Furn, Pvt Ent $200 Sec SSI/VA ok 215-549-7389 Darby Front St $125/wk $375 move in No drugs/smoking 267-978-7887 Frankford, nice rm in apt, near bus & El, $300 sec, $90/wk & up. 215-526-1455 Germantown and Logan $400/mo + elec 1 rm w/ priv BA 215-621-7923 Germantown Area: NICE, Cozy Rooms Private entry, no drugs (267)988-5890

Germantown, furn rms, renovated, share kitch & ba. $125+/wk. 215-514-3960 Hunting Park: Furn. Luxury Rooms. Free utils, cable, A/C. Call 267-331-5382 New Luxury Room, 4952 Lancaster Ave. Call Henry 267-974-9271 NICETOWN furnished, private entrance, Please Call 215-324-1079 North Phila any size rm This month special $300-$400/mo Single occup. only. 267-312-1499 or 215-913-1485 NORTH PHILADELPHIA $85-$100/ wk 1 plus 1 Needed, 215-669-0912 N PHILA. $150/wk Lrg rm. w/priv kit/bath $600 Move in 267.882.7752 N. Phila - $75 & up, SSI & Vets+ok, drug free, Avl Immed. 215-763-5565

N. Phila Furn Rms SS & vets welcome. No drugs, $100 & up, 267.357.5148 N. Phila. Temple Hosp. renov., 2 bath, kitchen, cable, $120/Wk, 267-972-6716 NP/Logan/WP pvt entry, also effic avail $110 - $135/wk. Call 609-526-5411

SW Phila room 58th & Beaumont newly renov. $125 week. 347-262-3485 Temple U Area, Clean, semi furn rooms $90-$120/wk. 2 wk. dep. 215-869-1203

homes for rent 3XX Cantrell 3Br/1.5 Ba $850 + Utils 25XX Mildred 3Br/1Ba $795 + Utils Sec 8 Ok, No pets, 215.539.7866

69th & Elmwood 2BR House Sec 8 ok, Reno, must see. 215.885.1700

5xx N. 58th St. Large 4 BR 2 full BA Call for details 610-626-7002 62xx Arch 3Br Near Trans, Sec 8 ok, Lg Twin, Lg Bkyd, W/W, W/D Hook, Avail 7/1 215.370.4255 West Phila 1br- 6br $800+ Sec. 8 housing. w/w, h/w, w/d. Call 267-773-8265

25xx W Montgomery 4Br/2Ba $725+ 1+1, pvt yard, Pets ok, 267.331.6846 Temple Univ. area 3BR $1,100+utils. Beautiful, completely renovated, new appliances. Call 215-820-2219

47xx N. Camac St. 4BR/1.5BA $1,400 +utils. Sec. 8 ok, Fresh Paint, 215.264.2340

Lee St. 2BR $625+utils fenced backyd, front porch 215-514-0653

18xx Orthodox St. 3BR/1BA $750 Finished bsmnt, 3 month. 215-514-0653

1xx Albanus St. 3BR/1BA $850 Sec. 8 ok. Newly renov. 267-992-3233

Oaklyn NJ 2br 1B row 5 mins Ferry Av Speedln. Sec8ok $950+. 609-417-4650

automotive Chevy Lumina 1998 $1399 Nissan Maxima 1999 $1799 Mercury Sable 2001 $1499 Chevy Malibu 2002 $2299 Pontiac Grand Am 2005 $2299 RECESSION SPECIALS 215.520.7890 Lexus CS450 Hybrid 2007 $25,000 Loaded, gar kept. 610-806-2019 Volkswagen Passat GLS 2003 $6,500 Auto, 64K Mi, sunroof, 610.506.5759

Cash for Comics: 1940-1970’s Collectors Welcome. (267) 858-5025

Adoptions ADOPTION

ADOPT: A happily married couple promises cozy home, secure future, extended family, unconditional love for baby of any race. Expenses paid. Leslie/ Daniel TOLL-FREE 1-855-7672444. danielandleslieadopt@ gmail.com ADOPTION

ADOPTION- Happily, married couple wishes to adopt a baby! We promise love, learning, laughter, security, extended family. Expenses paid. www. DonaldAndEsther.com 1-800965-5617 (Se habla espanol.)

Public Notices AIRLINE CAREERS

Cherokee 2007 38BS In park Ex. Cond. $18,000 OBO. 610-299-8521

Ford 2000 Luxury Hightop Conversion Van (new body style) a/c, full power, few original miles, Clean, $6985, 215.928.9632

A1 PRICES FOR JUNK CARS FREE TOW ING , Call (215) 726-9053

Harley Davidson Night Train 2000 $8,000, 1500 cc, Like new, garage kept, 7500 Mi, Many extras, 856.931.5534 Harley Davidson Softtail 2010 $14,000 Lots of extras, 1500 Mi, 215.518.0045

low cost cars & trucks Cadillac Seville SLS 1994 $1,550 clean needs nothing. 215-620-9383 Chevy Impala LS 2002 $2500/obo CD, Loaded, Runs Great, 267.441.4612 Dodge Hi-top Conversion Van 1997 Handicapped equipped, full power, C/C, deluxe hydrolic lift, must sacrifice today, $3,650 (1/2 book value) 215-468-2900 12-6pm Ford Escort ZX2 1999 $1,350 Auto cold ac. Extra clean 215-620-9383 FORD TAURUS 2004 $3,500 86K miles. Clean. 215-850-5702 Mercury Sable GS 2000 $3200 Leather, Sun rf, Nice, 610.667.4829 Nissan Altima 1997 $1600 Rel.Trans., 173K MI, 215.463.6070 Pontiac Grand Prix GT 1998 $1,550 All pwrs, Insp, Runs New 215.620.9383 Subaru 2002 luxury Forester with sun roof, full power, A/C, Mint Condition, Quick private sale, $3,985. 215.922.5342 VOLVO 740 SW 1991 $950 Auto, All Pwrs, Runs Exc, 215-620-9383 Volvo 960 1996 $1,650 All pwrs, 131K Mi, New Insp 215.620.9383

Become an Aviation Maintenance Tech. FAA approved training. Financial aid if qualified-Housing available. Job placement assistance. CALL Aviation Institute of Maintenance 888-834-9715. EDUCATION

EARN $500 A DAY: Airbrush & Media Makeup Artists For: Ads-TV-Film-Fashion Train & Build Portfolio in 1 week. Lower Tuition for 2013. www.AwardMakeupSchool.com NON PROFIT CORPORATION CHARTER

NOTICE OF HEREBY GIVEN that an application will be made to the Department of the State of the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania, at Harrisburg, PA., on or after May 15, 2013, for the purpose of obtaining a charter of a proposed nonprofit corporation to be organized under the 1988 Nonprofit Corporation Law of the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania, effective October 1, 1989 as amended.The name of the corporation is Philadelphia Baptist Church. The purpose for which it is to

Automotive Marketplace CASH FOR CARS

ANY CAR/Truck. Running or Not! Top Dollar Paid. We Come to You! Call for Instant Offer. 1888-420-3808 www.cash4car. com

Business Services COMMERCIAL MORTGAGES

Turned down for a commercial mortgage? Call MCG 1-888258-0658. Visit www.mcgfinancing.net

Lessons & Workshops ATTEND COLLEGE ONLINE

from Home. *Medical, *Business, *Criminal Justice, *Hospitality. Job placement assistance. Computer available. Financial Aid if qualified. SCHEV authorized. Call 800-481-9472 www. CenturaOnline.com

Health Services NEED VIAGRA?

Stop paying outrageous prices! Best prices...VIAGRA 100MG, 40 pills+ 4/free, only $99.00. Discreet shipping. Call Power Pill. 1-800-374-2619.

jobs

Help Wanted HELP WANTED

Heavy Equipment Operator Career! 3 Weeks Hands On Training School. Bulldozers, Backhoes, Excavators. National Certifications. Lifetime Job Placement Assistance. VA Benefits Eligible! 1-866362-6497. HELP WANTED DRIVER

A. Duie Pyle Needs Owner Operators. and Company Drivers: Regional Truckload Operations.

HELP WANTED DRIVER

CDL-A Drivers: Hiring experienced company drivers and owner operators. Solo and teams. Competitive pay package. Sign-on incentives. Call 888-705-3217 or apply online at www.drivenctrans.com HELP WANTED DRIVER

Drivers: HIRING EXPERIENCED/INEXPERIENCED TANKER DRIVERS! Earn up to $.51 per Mile! New Fleet Volvo Tractors! 1Year OTR Exp. Req.-Tanker Training Available. Call Today: 877-882-6537 www. OakleyTransport.com HELP WANTED DRIVER

Exp. Reefer Drivers: GREAT PAY/Freight lanes from Presque, Isle, ME, Boston-Lehigh, PA. 800-277-0212 or primeinc.com HELP WANTED DRIVER

GORDON TRUCKING, INC.. CDL-A Drivers Needed! Up to $3,000 SIGN ON BONUS... Starting Pay UP to .46 cpm. Refrigerated Fleet, Great Miles, Full Benefits, Great Incentives! No Northeast Runs! Call 7 days/wk! TeamsGTI.com 866-554-7856. HELP WANTED DRIVER

NEED CLASS A CDL TRAINING? Start a CAREER in trucking today! Swift Academies offer PTDI certified courses and offer ‘Best -In-Class” training. *New Academy Classes Weekly *No Money Down or Credit Check *Certified Mentors Ready and Available *Paid (While Training with Mentor) Regional and Dedicated Opportunities *Great Career Path *Excellent Benefits Package. Please Call: (866) 271-7613. HELP WANTED DRIVER

HELP WANTED/SALES

LIVE, WORK, PARTY, PLAY! Hiring 18-24 girls/guys. Awesome Sales Job! $400-$800 Weekly. PAID Expenses. Signing Bonus. Are You Energetic & Fun? Call 1-866-574-7454. $$$HELP WANTED$$$

Extra Income! Assembling CD cases from Home! No Experience Necessary! Call our Live Operator Now! 1-800-405-7619 Ext. 2450 http://www.easyworkgreatpay.com PAID IN ADVANCE

Paid in Advance! MAKE up to $1000 A WEEK mailing brochures from home! Helping Home Workers since 2001! Genuine Oppor tunity! No Experience required. Start Immediately! www.mailing-station.com

rentals

Homes 6 BEDROOM HOME IN MANAYUNK!

Great Location,Parking, Six Large Bedrooms 2 blocks from Main Street Call Lynn 215-260-4353

Roommates ALL AREAS-ROOMATES. COM

Browse hundreds of online

listings with photos and maps. Find your roommate with a click of the mouse! Visit: http://www. Roommates.com.

real estate

Land/ Lots for Sale LAND FOR SALE

Lake Sale, NY; 5 acres Bass Lake $29,900. 7 acres 400’ waterfront $29,900. 6 lake properties. Were $39,900 now $29,900. www.LandFirstNY. com Ends May 31st. 1-888683-2626. LOTS/ACREAGE

Waterfront Lots-Virginia’s Eastern Shore. Was $300k, Now From $55K. Large Lots, Community Pool, Pier and Recreational Center. Great for boating, fishing & kayaking. www.oldmillpointe.com 757-824-0808.

Resort/ Vacation Property for Sale VACATION RENTALS

OCEAN CITY, MARYLAND. Best selection of affordable rentals. Full/partial weeks. Call for FREE brochure. Open daily. Holiday Real Estate. 1-800638-2102 Online reservations: www.holidayoc.com.

Tai-Chi Healing Spa

YOUR NEW DRIVING JOB IS ONE PHONE CALL AWAY! Experienced CDL-A Drivers and Recent Grads-Excellent Benefits, Weekly Hometime. Paid Training. 888-362-8608 AverittCareers.com Equal Opportunity Employer.

GRAND OPENING

HELP WANTED!

Walk-in Are welcome. Appts. Are also welcome

Make extra money in our free ever popular homailer program, includes valuable guidebook! Start immediately! Genuine!

10 % Off for first visit

PROFESSIONAL MASSAGE • Facial Waxing • Foot Massage

953 S. 6th St.

(215) 808-6000 P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R | J U N E 6 - J U N E 1 2 , 2 0 1 3 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T |

24xx N. 24th St. 3br/1.5ba $675/mo. 2+1, Near Trans, Pvt Yard, 215.529.8916

Wyncote/Chelten. Twp. 4Br/2.5Ba split level, completely renov, family rm, Poss. lease purch, Lg Yard 267.481.1464

market place

1-888-292-1120 www.easyworkfromhome.com

2210 BensonSt. 3BR/1BA $900 Call Mike 610-635-8587 42xx Benner 3br/1ba $950 +. Yard. Avail Now! Call 215-704-4427

CPEVENTSLIST

Darby 3br/1ba $985 + UTILS Nice Cond, Sec 8 ok, 610.529.3531

To learn more or to find the right person for your job, visit your local partner at philly.com/monster

classifieds

PHILADELPHIA $100-140 weekly, SSI and Sen. Cit. Discount 3 locations with availability, NE Philly, North Philadelphia, Kensington, all 3 are remodeled, completely furnished, and full use of kitchen. 215-300-4282 SW, N, W Move in Special $90-$125/wk Clean furn rms, SSI ok, 215.220.8877 SW/Penrose Rm: $100 & up SSI & Disability ok. (267)225-0603 SW Phila - Newly renov, close to transp. $100/wk 1st wk FREE, 267-628-7454

Wayne/Radnor Single 3BR/3BA $2,500 Quiet, top school. R5 Mainline. New paint, floor, 2 car garage. Call 201-328-2782.

HOME EVERYWEEKEND!!! O/ O AVE. $1.85/Mile. REQUIRES 2-YRS.EXP.CALL DAN @ 888301-5855 OR APPLY @ www. driveforpyle.com

the naked city | feature | a&e | the agenda | food

apartment marketplace

be organized is: as a church ministering the gospel to humanity.

billboard [ C I T Y PA P E R ]

JUNE 6 - JUNE 12, 2013 CALL 215-735-8444

Building Blocks to Total Fitness

12 Years of experience. Offering personal fitness training, nutrition counseling, and flexibility training. Specialize in osteoporosis, injuries, special needs. In home or at 12th Street Gym. MCKFitness@yahoo.com

MAKE THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE GET A TATTOO!

LE BUS Sandwiches & MOSHEâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S Vegan Burritos, Wraps and Salads Now Available at the EL BAR! Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s true! Theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re here and delivered daily! 1356 North Front Street 215-634-6430

SEMEN DONORS NEEDED

Healthy, College Educated Men 18-39 ~ $150/Sample WWW.123DONATE.COM

PHILADELPHIA EDDIES 621 South 4th St. Tattoo Haven (MIDDLE of Tattoo Row) 215-922-7384 open 7 DAYS

I BUY RECORDS, CDâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S, DVDâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S

TOP PRICES PAID. No collection too small or large! We buy everything! Call Jon at 215-805-8001 or e-mail dingo15@hotmail.com

Low-Cost Computer Classes

for all skill levels and ages Develop skills; access the internet BECOME MORE EMPLOYABLE Only $40 for 8 weeks of training Other programs include: GED, STD screening Call YOACAP today: 215-851-1968

HAPPY HOUR AT THE DIVE

JOIN US FOR PHILLY BEER WEEK MAY 31 - JUNE 9

All Styles All Levels. Former Berklee faculty member. Masters Degree with 27 yrs. teaching experience. 215.831.8640 www.myphillyguitarlessons.com

COLUMBIA PICTURES PRESENTS A POINT GREY/MANDATE PICTURES PRODUCTION â&#x20AC;&#x153;THISEXECUTIVEIS THE ENDâ&#x20AC;? SUPERVISIONMUSICBY JONATHAN KARP MUSICBY HENRY JACKMAN PRODUCERSCO- JAY BARUCHEL MATTHEW LEONETTI JR. PRODUCERS NATHAN KAHANE NICOLE BROWN JASON STONE BARBARA A. HALL ARIEL SHAFFIR KYLE HUNTER SCREEN STORY AND PRODUCED SCREENPLAY BY SETH ROGEN & EVAN GOLDBERG BY SETH ROGEN EVAN GOLDBERG JAMES WEAVER DIRECTED BY SETH ROGEN & EVAN GOLDBERG

ONLINE DEGREES

Healthcare, Business Technology and Graphic Arts Independence University 800-961-2983

Southampton Keller Pils Lancaster Strawberry Wheat Dominion Oak Barrel Stout Rock Art Jasmine Pale Ale Cricket Hill Colonel Blides Bitter Stevens Point IPA All that and more at the Watkins Drinkery in South Philadelphia. Corner of 10th & Watkins 215-339-0175

LAS VEGAS LOUNGE

Serving 20 oz Drafts, NOT 16. SIZE DOES MATTER. 704 Chestnut Street 215-592-9533 www.LasVegasLounge.com

NEW! JUST IN! @ the Bizarre Bazaar!

STUDY GUITAR W/ THE BEST David Joel Guitar Studio

2nd ANNUAL PAWS BENEFIT!

525 West Girard Ave VINYL AND CD SPECIALISTS CLASSIC & MODERN GLOBAL SOUNDS HOUSE TECHNO DUBSTEP DUB DISCO FUNK SOUL JAZZ DIY PUNK LSD ROCK AND LIGHT HARMONY ROOTS BLUES NOISE AVANT AND MORE TUESDAY-SUNDAY 12-6PM 01-215-965-9616

WHATâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S ON TAP AT THE WATKINS DRINKERY?

@silkcitydiner / @north3rd

FREE PIZZA! $2 BEER OF THE WEEK! $2 WELL DRINKS! ITâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S AMAZING! PASSYUNK AVE (7th & CARPENTER) 215-465-5505 myspace.com/thedivebar

TEQUILA SUNRISE RECORDS

INDEPENDENCE UNIVERSITY

Online Degrees Call: 800-961-2503

Jackie O. presents the 2nd Annual PAWS Benefit Show SAT 6/8 at Finniganâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Wake (downstairs) at 3rd & Spring Garden: Outlaw Pandas, Clashing Plaid, Supreem & The New Experience, Welter; awesome raffle & prizes! Cover: $10 donation

HAPPY HOUR AT THE ABBAYE $2 OFF ALL DRAFTS $3 WELL DRINKS $5 HAPPY HOUR MENU Only at the Abbaye 637 N. 3rd Street (215) 627-6711 www.THEABBAYE.net

Pinstriped + Cool Handbags! Hostile City + Shop T-shirts! Custom Velvet Paintings! 2 Head Pigeon + Taxidermy! Cool Access. +Gifts Galore! New Stuff EVERY Day! You Never Know What Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll Find @ the BIZARRE BAZAAR Open 7 days, 12- 8pm 720 South 5th St @ Passyunk

7&3: (00% â&#x20AC;&#x153;..#&&3 -*45 )"4 (308/ 50 &1*$ 1301035*0/4 ,*5$)&/ )"4 "%%&% "/ &953" #&-- 8*5) 1&3)"14 5)& $*5:Âľ4 #&45 '3*5&4 40.& 45&--"3 #&&3 #"55&3&% '*4) "/% 7&3: (00% .644&-4Âł Craig LeBan, Philadelphia Inquirer, Revisited April 2007

(*'5 $&35*'*$"5&4 "7"*-"#-&

Fashion Fetish?

200+ steel boned corsets in stock size S-8XL Rubber-Leather-KiltsMore by 26 designers. PASSIONAL Boutique 704 S. 5th St. Noon-10PM, 7 days a week www.passionalboutique.com

#%( 5:7EF@GF EF B:;>367>B:;3 $#' &#% #+#* D7E7DH3F;A@E 3F,

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