Reinventing Radio: An Evening With
cpstaff
We made this
tomorrow exchange buy *sell*trade
Associate Publisher Jennifer Clark Editor in Chief Lillian Swanson Senior Editor Patrick Rapa Arts & Culture Editor Mikala Jamison Food Editor Caroline Russock Senior Staff Writers Daniel Denvir, Emily Guendelsberger Copy Chief Carolyn Wyman Contributors Sam Adams, Dotun Akintoye, A.D. Amorosi, Rodney Anonymous, Mary Armstrong, Meg Augustin, Bryan Bierman, Shaun Brady, Peter Burwasser, Mark Cofta, Alison Dell, Adam Erace, David Anthony Fox, Caitlin Goodman, K. Ross Hoffman, Jon Hurdle, Deni Kasrel, Alli Katz, Gary M. Kramer, Drew Lazor, Gair “Dev 79� Marking, Robert McCormick, Andrew Milner, Annette Monnier, John Morrison, Michael Pelusi, Natalie Pompilio, Sameer Rao, Jim Saksa, Elliott Sharp, Marc Snitzer, Tom Tomorrow, John Vettese, Nikki Volpicelli, Brian Wilensky Editorial Interns Indie Jimenez, Alyssa Mallgrave, Nia Prater, Sam Fox Production Director Michael Polimeno Senior Designer Brenna Adams Designer & Social Media Director Jenni Betz Contributing Photographers Jessica Kourkounis, Hillary Petrozziello, Maria Pouchnikova, Neal Santos, Mark Stehle Contributing Illustrators Ryan Casey, Don Haring Jr., Joel Kimmel, Cameron K. Lewis, Thomas Pitilli, Matthew Smith Human Resources Ron Scully (ext. 210) U.S. Circulation Director Joseph Lauletta (ext. 239) Account Managers Colette Alexandre (ext. 250), Nick Cavanaugh (ext. 260), Amanda Gambier (ext. 228), Sharon MacWilliams (ext. 262) Classified/Adult Advertising Sales Alexis Pierce (ext. 234) Editor Emeritus Bruce Schimmel 22
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Behind the Myths Tour
& 8PM 2PM
%JGUVPWV 5V ĂŠ
7 Things You Must Know Before Putting Your Home Up for Sale Philadelphia - A new report has just been released which reveals 7 costly mistakes that most homeowners make when selling their home, and a 9 Step System that can help you sell your home fast and for the most amount of money. This industry report shows clearly how the traditional ways of selling homes have become increasingly less and less effective in today's market. The fact of the matter is that fully three quarters of homesellers don't get what they want for their homes and become disillusioned and - worse - financially disadvantaged when they put their homes on the market. As this report uncovers, most homesellers make 7 deadly mistakes that cost them literally thousands of
dollars. The good news is that each and every one of these mistakes is entirely preventable. In answer to this issue, industry insiders have prepared a free special report entitled "The 9 Step System to Get Your Home Sold Fast and For Top Dollar". To order a FREE Special Report, visit http://www.phillysbesthomes.com/ seller_mistakes.asp or to hear a brief recorded message about how to order your FREE copy of this report call toll-free 1-800-560-2075 and enter 4000. You can call any time, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Get your free special report NOW to find out how you can get the most money for your home.
This report is courtesy of Larry Levin, Coldwell Banker Preferred. Not intended to solicit buyers or sellers currently under contract. Copyright Š 2014
| P h i l a d e l P h i a C i t y Pa P e r |
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Bruce Schimmel founded City Paper in a Germantown storefront in 1981. Local philanthropist Milton L. Rock purchased the paper in 1996 and published it until August 2014 when Metro US became the paper’s third owner. citypaper.net
30 South 15th Street, Fourteenth Floor, Phila., PA 19102. 215-735-8444, Tip Line 215-735-8444 ext. 241, Listings Fax 215-875-1800, Advertising Fax 215-735-8535, Subscriptions 215-735-8444 ext. 235 Philadelphia City Paper is published and distributed every Thursday in Philadelphia, Montgomery, Chester, Bucks & Delaware Counties, in South Jersey and in Northern Delaware. Philadelphia City Paper is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. Additional copies may be purchased from our main office at $1 per copy. No person may, without prior written permission from Philadelphia City Paper, take more than one copy of each issue. Pennsylvania law prohibits any person from inserting printed material of any kind into any newspaper without the consent of the owner or publisher. Contents copyright Š 2014, Philadelphia City Paper. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced without written permission from the publisher. Philadelphia City Paper assumes no obligation (other than cancellation of charges for actual space occupied) for accidental errors in advertising, but will be glad to furnish a signed letter to the buying public. 55
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Naked City ...................................................................................4 PHL: West Philly ....................................................................13 22
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Sex .................................................................................................30 Cover PhotograPh by neal santos design by brenna adams
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CP’s Quality-o-Life-o-Meter
[0]
espite City Council’s rejection, Connecticut D energy company UIL Holdings says it is still hoping to purchase PGW. “Package deal,” says City Council. “You buy us and the gas company or you buy nothing.”
[ + 5] A 17-year-old volunteer firefighter pulls a
police officer from a burning squad car. “I was so grateful I could hardly tase him,” says cop. 22
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[ - 1] No animals are harmed when a barn in Great
Adventure’s safari ride catches fire. “Yes, I’m perfectly fine,” says Magnificus, the doped-up lion owned by a theme park.
[ + 1] Mumia Abu-Jamal sues to overturn the
new Pennsylvania law that lets violentcrime victims sue convicts for speech that causes them “mental anguish.” And just like that, people who know the Constitution find their morals aligning with those of a convicted cop killer. That’s why every infamous criminal case has a third act, the part we call The Prestige.
[ + 2] A police officer in Camden is commended for helping to deliver a baby girl. “May I hold her?” asks Magnificus.
[
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1] T he TSA displays confiscated items at the airport including knives, fake explosive devices and bottled water. Hey, you confiscated that water because you thought it might be a bomb. So now what? It’s not a bomb?
[0] A nti-pigeon-shoot protesters declare victory when the Philadelphia Gun Club cancels a planned pigeon shoot. “Me bird me eat garbage,” says grateful pigeon. Adding, “Me eat garbage me poop on things me bird.” [ - 1] Firefighters battle an underground gas fire in Old City. A 17-year-old volunteer firefighter pulls 4,000 rats to safety.
[ + 2] City Council holds a hearing on food-waste
recycling, which some hope will lead to the creation of a citywide composting program. “Me eat your garbage,” suggests pigeon. Adding, “Me covered in germs me bird.”
This week’s total: +7 | Last week’s total: 0 | P h i l a d e l P h i a C i t y Pa P e r |
FINALLY HOME: Kevin Floyd and his family finally found an apartment this fall in Carroll Park. mark stehle
[ civil forfeiture ]
KICKED TO THE CURB Rogue cops, dropped charges, a family left out in the cold. What’s so civil about civil forfeiture? By Isaiah Thompson
I
t was raining on the day in november 2012 when Kevin Floyd and his wife, Chevelle, opened the door of their Carroll Park house to find a team of deputy sheriffs standing outside. When Floyd asked the officers what they wanted, he was told that he, his wife and their three children — the youngest was three months old — were being ordered to leave right away. The house belonged to Floyd’s father, who died in 2009. Floyd had been raised there, and had lived there with his wife and children since 2010. If they did not leave right away, the deputy told them, they would be arrested for trespassing. There would be no time to gather their belongings, nor to arrange shelter. So the family left, abandoning their possessions — everything from furniture to personal items to their birth certificates and Social Security cards — and walked out into the rain. “nothing but the clothes on our back,” Floyd recalls, choking back tears at the memory. “no bottles for the baby, nothing.” The Floyds’ house had been seized, it turned out, by the Philadelphia District Attorney’s office through a legal process
n o v e m b e r 1 3 - n o v e m b e r 1 9 , 2 0 1 4 | C i t y Pa P e r . n e t
known as civil-asset forfeiture, which allows law-enforcement officials to take a property and sell it based on an alleged link to criminal activity, whether the property’s owner, or anyone else, has actually been charged, much less convicted, of a crime. The D.A. then keeps the assets, selling seized houses at auction, sharing some of the revenue with the Philadelphia Police Department and keeping the rest in a separate fund it controls. That fund, according to the most recent report available, had a balance of $9.5 million. In Floyd’s case, the D.A. had justified seizing the house based on a single criminal case against Floyd from two years prior, alleging drug possession with intent to deliver. Floyd had yet to have his day in court to answer the charges when his family was sent packing. Less than three months later, on Jan. 14, 2013, the D.A. declined to prosecute those charges, and similarly reversed its decisions on hundreds more charges brought by the same police officers who had charged Floyd. The reason became clear this July, when six officers, including the four who arrested Floyd, were themselves arrested and charged with running a drug-ridden “racketeering” operation from right inside the police force, one of the biggest scandals to hit the department in decades. Floyd may have gotten his good name back — but the D.A. didn’t give his family back its home. The D.A. has made no apology, and
Leaving with “nothing but the clothes on our back.”
>>> continued on page 6
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[ teachers anonymous ]
i bring my own mop and bleacH
R
ight now, my grade partner and I are photocopying the entire math curriculum for our students. Seriously. our school has hardly any books, and kids can’t pass standardized tests without a math curriculum. So we’re using paper donations to photocopy a sample math program that our school could not afford to purchase. Teachers in the Philadelphia School District do not have access to the supplies we need to run a classroom, and we’re expected to make up the gap out of our own pockets. We go out and buy our own supplies for science, social studies, reading. We’re constantly on teacherspayteachers.com to find other resources. I brought in my own mop and bleach the other day, because there’s only two people cleaning our entire school, and we have two buildings. I’m buying paper towels. During my lunchtime or free time, I’m sweeping, mopping, dumping trash. We’re asking parents for whatever help we can get, but we also have a shelter in our school’s community, so teachers end up getting things for those
children, too. A lot of these children are like my extended family. but I still have to support my own family. When I first started teaching, I was so excited that I would probably spend about $3,000 a year. now, I probably only spend about $1,000 because I’m wiser — I’ve learned to go to thrift stores, use what I can get, get donations. Yesterday, I went to the thrift store and I bought about 5,000 envelopes — we use them to store things that the children cut out. And I was so happy that they were $1 a box, and it was 10 percent off. I guess I’m grateful that I’m a little bit wiser about how to spend my money. I just wish it weren’t this way. ✚ Teachers Anonymous shares brief stories from Philly teachers and others that illustrate their lives working in an underfunded system. Email stories to emilyg@citypaper.net or by mail to Emily Guendelsberger c/o City Paper, 30 S. 15th St., 14th floor, Philadelphia, PA., 19102.
[ politics ]
How low can you go? Voter turnout in Philly was dismal. Statewide, the low turnout in a governor’s race set a modern record. By Jim Saksa
V
oter turnout on election Day last week proved once again that midterm elections in Philly are an exercise in apathy. With the “battle of the Toms” — Tom Corbett and Tom Wolf in the race for governor — at the top of the ballot and pre-election polls showing Wolf with a sizable lead, only 36 percent of registered city voters went to the polls on nov. 4, down from the also-anemic 41 percent who bothered to vote in the last off-year election, 2010. That year, though, there was a tight U.S. Senatorial race topping the ballot along with the gubernatorial race. There were 3,230 more votes cast for the senatorial candidates than the gubernatorial candidates, suggesting that many city voters came out to support Joe Sestak or the ultimate winner, Pat Toomey, yet didn’t feel the need to also vote for Corbett or Dan onorato. This year, early anecdotal reports suggested that
[ the naked city ]
turnout was up, on an unseasonably warm day in Philadelphia and across the region, but those trends did not continue. Statewide, voter turnout was also just 36 percent — making it the lowest turnout in a gubernatorial election recorded in the commonwealth’s online database, which goes back to 1998. That year, Tom ridge won reelection with 41 percent of registered voters going to the polls. new Jersey, despite similar early reports of good turnout this year, also posted poor numbers. new Jersey had its lowest turnout ever for a general election, with just 31 percent voting. There, Cory booker’s re-election to the Senate topped the ballot. With over $3.7 billion spent on the election nationally, 2014 was the most expensive midterm campaign ever. (editorial@citypaper.net)
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so they can do whatever they want with it. So there’s a lot of good stuff in there, too.” CP: Have you come to any sort of a consensus about what can be done about the gender gap, or how can the tech field become more accessible to women or people who might not feel welcome in it? GG: There’s various ways to encourage girls to pick up some technical thing or become interested in some aspect of science that they really enjoy, and parents can play a big role in that. Teachers can, too. Beyond that, a lot of women talk about these moments of dis-
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couragement or criticism. So, calling that out, but also recognizing when people do good work and vocalizing it to them. And beyond that, I think that there’s a lot that needs to be happening on an institutional or organization level. Something that they talk a lot about in the tech world is the culture of startups or the culture of an organization. It’s really where these stereotypes are encouraged or discouraged, and if you are in any kind of leadership role, it’s your responsibility to take an active part in shaping the culture that is inclusive. —Julie Zeglen
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hearhere By Patrick Rapa
Punk CrasH Doubek is a pit bull testing his leash. ➤ Have you Heard PinkwasH? They’re
a loud, guitar-and-drums duo that mixes whiteknuckle punk with something less predictable. But what? The beats are busy and complicated. The riffs are fractal and mathy. Am I crazy or are we barging into prog-rock territory here? “You are not crazy,” says singer/guitarist Joey Doubek. “Ashley and I are both drummers and really enjoy messing around with atypical punk rhythms.” “Ashley” is Ashley Arnwine, best known around here for crashing and pounding the kit with Bleeding Rainbow. Doubek, meanwhile, made his bones with Washington D.C.’s long-running Hume, defined by its spacey and proggy leanings. “Pinkwash started a little over a year ago, when we finished constructing a practice room in our basement in West Philly,” says Doubek. In June, they released their five-song debut, Your Cure Your Soil, as a cassette on Sister Polygon Records and a $4 download at pinkwash.bandcamp.com. Worth it. These tracks make smart use of thumping stick work, heavy grooves and Doubek’s throat-rattling vocals. He’s a barely controlled screamer, a pit bull testing his leash. He often escapes his carnival-barker base level in favor of some righteous, preacherly indignation. Start with “So Long” — if you don’t like it, you’re wrong. As for the lyrical content, it’s hard to say for sure, but you can bet it’s at least a little political. Arnwine schools me on what “pinkwashing” is: It’s when companies slap pink ribbons on their products with the vague goals of “raising awareness” of breast cancer and “donating a percentage of the proceeds” to research. The term can also be used to describe the appropriation of LGBTQ culture by organizations with only a skin-deep allegiance to the cause.All this distracts “from real issues, promoting marginalization and objectification, making people dumber and playing a stupid part in destroying the universe,” she says. “Fuck capitalism. What a mess.” (pat@citypaper.net, @mission2denmark) ✚ Pinkwash plays Fri., Nov. 14, 7:30 p.m., $5, with
Space Chumpy, Ex. By V. and Polyon, Lava Space, 4134 Lancaster Ave., lavazone.org. 16 | P h i l a d e l P h i a C i t y Pa P e r |
JUST ROLL WITH IT: The second issue of the Kickstarter-funded Super-Bud, by Mike Dean, Tim Radecki and Tim Lattie, will be released in the spring. SuPer-Bud ComiCS
[ going green ]
HigH and MigHty Two Philly comic writers bring us the stoner hero Philly deserves and needs. By Mikala Jamison
A
current events lesson you already know: In october, Philadelphia decriminalized marijuana. earlier this month, Alaska, Washington, D.C. and oregon followed Colorado and Washington state in allowing the recreational sale and taxation of the drug. This is both ideal and tense timing for two Philly comic writers, who have just successfully Kickstarter-funded the second issue of their green-tinged comic series, Super-Bud. “We don’t want to have our first issue start before marijuana is legalized, and then years later we’re coming out with our final issue and all this stuff is already behind us,” says mike Dean, 29, co-writer of Super-Bud. “We don’t want to miss the boat.” That’s the trouble with Kickstarter or D.I.Y. funding — it’s a slow process. but for now, Dean, writing partner Tim radecki, 30, and illustrator Tim Lattie, 33, have caught the bud boat at just the right time, creating a comic series that appeals to not just weed aficionados, but directionless millennials, general comic fans and action lovers alike. They’ve called it X-Men meets Half Baked. So, oddly, two guys writing a story connected to weed culture might find it creatively inconvenient if the whole shebang is legal-
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ized tomorrow — they’ve already planned six issues. “It would definitely change our story a bit,” Dean says. Super-Bud follows Danny, a down-on-his-luck college dropout who watches from the couch as his contemporaries live big lives. In the first issue, released in February on DriveThruComics.com and produced solely by radecki and Dean, the small town where Danny lives — called emerald oaks, get it? — is shaken when a pharmaceutical company moves in and begins experimenting with medical marijuana. “The company is trying to come up with what they call ‘Project Canna-plus,’” radecki says. “A successful experiment is taken from a lab, and this drug dealer spreads it through town, not knowing the ramifications — after smoking it, these people start experiencing superpowers.” Weed smokers as superheroes? There’s a real send-up of the burnout stereotype. radecki and Dean assure that’s intentional. “It’s also fun to play with the idea of a superhero,” radecki says. “Put [superpowers] on somebody who has good intentions but might not be as smart as Spider-man, and might not have the moral compass that Spider-man has, that’s what Danny is.” As an ensemble cast is introduced, Dean says, readers will have other characters to latch onto. but they’re not all stereotypical stoners.
After smoking, people experience superpowers.
>>> continued on page 18
[ to the fella over there with the hella good hair ]
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curtaincall
[ album reviews ]
➤ caribou | B+
➤ taylor swift | B-
An obvious career culmination and one of the year’s most beautiful albums, Our Love (merge) swirls together virtually every facet of Dan Snaith’s evolving output: the prismatic electro-acoustic hybrids of his early days as manitoba, Andorra’s psychedelic soft-pop and the genial house and acid bangers of his Daphni alias. Then he raises the stakes with the most personal songs he’s ever written, and contributions from Jessy Lanza (who also opens tonight’s show at —K. ross hoffman Union Transfer) and owen Pallett.
➤ black milk | B Produced, mixed, mastered and emceed by black milk, If There’s a Hell Below (Computer Ugly) benefits from a unity of vision uncommon in hip-hop. Though black milk is only a competent rapper and a largely forgettable lyricist, he shines as a beat-maker. His instrumentals stitch together acoustic and electronic sounds, including surprising flute interludes and occult backup vocals. Lush, nocturnal and whimsical, Hell Below is its own new mood. —Sam Fox
flickpick
➤ tv on the radio | ASeeds (Harvest) doesn’t reach the rhythmic heights of Dear Science, and maybe this band will never breathe that air again. Fine. Almost every song has moments that thrill, even as the whole — rapid, tuneful, lovely and layered because they’re just that good, more joyful than ever but no less thoughtful — lets you down a touch. Album closer “Seeds” is an exultation, its last lines are words of resilience: Hope despite — and because of — experience, “rain comes down like it always does/ This —dotun akintoye time I’ve got seeds on ground.”
[ movie review ]
RosewateR [ B ] To borrow a frequenT Daily Show quip, Jon Stewart’s directorial debut is “a
nice movie for the nice people” — honorable, unobjectionable and a trifle dull. The story of Iranian journalist maziar bahari, who was accused of espionage and tortured for three months in a Tehran jail, Rosewater — named for the scent of his interrogator’s aftershave — features solid performances, although casting mexican Gael García bernal as bahari and Danish Kim bodnia as his tormentor raises issues the movie isn’t equipped to deal with. Stewart, of course, has a thoughtful answer ready for interviewers, but it’s not the same thing. between them, García bernal and bodnia play out their pas de deux as a kind of violent farce. rosewater, as the interrogator is identified in the credits, is suspicious and small-minded, lacking both worldliness and a sense of humor. (The ostensible reason for bahari’s jailing was an interview with The Daily Show’s Jason Jones, who mock-accused him of being a spy.) bahari, for his part, can be smug and high-handed, seizing opportunities to mock his captor’s inadequacies with quips that sometimes don’t fly quite far enough above his head. It’s not exactly Grand Illusion, but Stewart’s script, drawn from bahari and Aimee molloy’s Then They Came for Me: A Family’s Story of Love, Captivity and Survival, does follow rosewater outside bahari’s line of sight, showing how his brutality flows downhill from his superior’s threats. but the movie’s not out to challenge perceptions or realign allegiances: The bad guys and the good guy(s) are exactly who you think they’ll be. For a movie about extended captivity, Rosewater is, if anything, too pleasant to watch. It depicts bahari’s fear without conveying it, letting viewers keep a comfy distance while tut-tutting foreign totalitarianism. It’s not wrong, but it’s easy. —Sam Adams (Ritz Five)
A nice movie for nice people.
THE DULL-Y SHOW: Jon Stewart’s directorial debut, about jailed Iranian journalist Maziar Bahari (Gael García Bernal), is honorable, unobjectionable and, unfortunately, kind of boring.
thickeR than wateR THeATre exILe
1989 (big machine) finds our ingénue of ennui transformed into a Pop Queen, although the way she fetishizes romance/ breakups while keeping mum on the pleasures of the flesh remains an insult to her audience, no matter its age. The immediate payoff here is that the synths and drum machines suit her attenuated singing voice. on the second half, the beats lose their oomph and Swift’s lyrics lose their spunk and specificity. maybe she’s discovering the world beyond her diary, and has yet to formulate anything about it beyond cliché. —dotun akintoye
By Mark Cofta
➤ How selfisH can people be? That’s the real issue driving Lucas Hnath’s drama, Red Speedo. Performance-enhancing drugs in the world of sports are just a backdrop for a taut, often darkly funny — in a laugh-while-cringing way — script smartly directed by Theatre Exile’s Deborah Block. Brian Ratcliffe plays swimmer Ray, who on the eve of his Olympic trials is implicated in a drug scandal. “This is science,” naive Ray objects, comparing his juicing to the equalizing effect of affirmative action. Brother Peter — Keith Conallen, in another superbly committed performance — is Ray’s lawyer and manager, determined to sign Ray to a Speedo endorsement deal. Ray’s coach (Leonard C. Haas) claims the moral high ground, but has his own agenda: Ray’s success will fund his struggling team. Ray appeals to his ex-girlfriend (Jaylene Clark Owens), but she requires something, too. The action occurs on Colin McIlvaine’s small swimming pool set, which provides real water and that unmistakable chlorine smell, and traps its on-edge characters on the literal water’s edge. Drew Billiau’s lighting and Christopher Colucci’s sound help suggest the pool’s vastness. Everyone is willing to sell each other out, rationalizing their greed with twisted logic.“If I have money,” muses Ray, “then I can be like a real person.” The situation resembles an early David Mamet play, like Glengarry Glen Ross, as does Hnath’s hyperactive naturalistic overlapping dialogue, which Block’s cast performs with precision, passion and power. Also Mametian is Red Speedo’s relentless build to emotional and physical violence: These aren’t just characters talking, they’re desperate people fighting for their lives. (m_cofta@citypaper.net) ✚ Through Nov. 23, $37, Theatre Exile at Studio X, 1340 S.
13th St., 215-218-4022, theatreexile.org.
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A Night of Timeless R&B
with Grammy Award winner Jody Watley and Lillo Thomas Presented by
With Special Guest
Experience
Audacious Lipstick at SEPHORA
Saturday, November 15th, 8pm. The Tower Theatre, 19 South 69th St., Upper Darby, PA Tickets available at: WWW TICKETMASTER COM s WWW LIVENATION COM s WWW THETOWERPHILLY COM s Call 1-800-745-3000
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movie
shorts
Films are graded by City PaPer critics a-F.
The Theory of Everything
: New Low DowN | C For a music predicated on improvisation and spontaneity, movies about jazz tend to play a direly predictable tune. Jeff Preiss, who shot the documentary Let’s Get Lost about heroin-addicted trumpeter Chet baker, directs this biopic about heroin-addicted pianist Joe Albany, an undersung bebopper who played with legends like Charlie Parker and Lester Young but whose struggles with addiction left him largely unrecorded during the music’s prime years. John Hawkes plays masterful variations on the subject as a loving father, virtuoso musician and object of a bitter tug-of-war between those passions and the merciless pull of his drug of choice. The grainy Super 16 mm photography also contributes to establishing the dingy but homey milieu of fleabag crash pads occupied by addicts and musicians, but ultimately this is another tragic tale where Albany’s hands spend more time on a needle than on a keyboard, bolstering cinema’s skewed portrait of a jazz world overcrowded with junkies. based on a memoir by Albany’s daughter Amy-Jo (played by elle Fanning), Low Down depicts the pianist’s life through her eyes, but stumbles heavily whenever it leaves their relationship to peek at other aspects of her coming of age. A friendship with a neighbor (Peter Dinklage), a romance with an epileptic rock drummer (Caleb Landry Jones) or a bitter reunion with her estranged mother (Lena Headey) — all seem uncomfortably crammed into a story that is essentially about a daughter loving her father in between his too-frequent lapses. —Shaun Brady (Ritz at the Bourse)
RosewateR See Sam Adams’ review on p. 17.
the theoRy of eveRythiNg | C How do you capture the brilliance of someone as incalculable as Stephen Hawking? It’s a hearty challenge for any filmmaker, given the abstract, internal nature of the physicist’s work. James marsh tries his best to layman-ize the equation with The Theory of Everything, but sticks his digits into a few too many melodramatic mousetraps along the way, creating a string of cringes that overpowers two solid lead performances. based on Hawking’s ex-wife’s 1999 memoir, this version of the story begins at Cambridge, where the young Ph.D. candidate, captured in all his gawky glory by eddie redmayne, meets his future mate, Jane (Felicity Jones), at a smoky cocktail hour. marsh takes aggressive advantage of an able-bodied Hawking prior to his ALS diagnosis, rushing the smitten couple over romantic footbridges and under Disneyland fireworks displays as if they’re tourists on a tight itinerary. As the disease begins taking control, redmayne dedicates himself to Hawking’s swift physical breakdown, while Jones does well as an honest, loving woman whose patience is tested by extraordinary odds. but there are simply too many moments, from beginning to end, that knock hollow, from Hawking mastering space-time singularity after staring into a swirling cup of tea (ugh) to clichéd marital confrontations that border on painful comedy. both leads deserve the attention they’re getting, even if it does demand some big fat caveats. —Drew Lazor (Ritz Five)
T
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: coNtiNuiNg BiRDmaN | B more tour de force than coup du cinéma, Alejandro González Iñárritu’s psychotropic psychodrama spelunks
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into the soul of a washed-up action star (michael Keaton) attempting to reinvent himself by staging raymond Carver on broadway. Although it shifts time frames and its relationship to reality, the movie, shot by Gravity’s emmanuel Lubezki, gives the appearance of being filmed in a single take. but the cinematography’s the only place where the seams don’t show. It’s clever as all get-out — and thrilling, in a superficial way — but rarely stumbles onto real insight. —Sam Adams (Ritz Five)
Citizenfour | aThe scariest thing this Halloween was edward Snowden swearing in disbelief at the end of Laura Poitras’ gripping, disturbing documentary. Citizenfour, whose core is the now-(in)famous meeting between Snowden, Poitras and journalist Glenn Greenwald in a Hong Kong hotel room, offers a limited catharsis through Snowden. Sure, he’s exiled from his own country and branded a traitor by many opposed to his disclosure of information on U.S. surveillance programs, but he’s done what he set out to do. In the last scene, though, Greenwald tells him of another whistle-blower who claims the U.S. has more than a million people on various watch lists, to which Snowden can only respond, “That is fucking ridiculous.” It’s an unforgettable reminder: no matter how jaded we are, there is always something that can shock us. It’s easy to assume that the government’s ability to collect effectively infinite amounts of information will only harm bad people,
but when it’s controlled by the same institution that determines what’s bad, the potential for misuse is equally boundless. We should be afraid, and Poitras’ essential film reminds us why. —SA (Ritz at the Bourse)
Dear white people | B+ The rare college comedy of the nonidiotic variety, writer/director Justin Simien’s debut, Dear White People, isn’t out to revamp racial discourse — it’s content pointing out how ineffectual “real talk” can be when nobody’s really listening. Inspired by his own studies at California’s Chapman University, Simien keys in on a quartet of AfricanAmerican undergrads at fictional Winchester, a snooty school run on old money and leftist self-satisfaction. Textbook militant Sam (Tessa Thompson), golden boy Troy (brandon P. bell), introverted writer Lionel (Tyler James Williams) and hopeful Tv star Coco (Teyonah Parris). The offensive on-campus party that brings them together tests their tolerance for bullshit, but they don’t just come out on the other side as enlightened souls. Instead, they’re each placed in difficult positions complicated by questions of identity and expectation. Dear White People doesn’t offer solutions, but it should spark better conversations. —DL (Wide release)
the equalizer | BIn following up Olympus Has Fallen, easily one of the most ’80s movies of 2013, Antoine Fuqua pricks the decade’s veins again, adapting The
Equalizer to suit an audience with no frame of reference. not that one’s needed: The show, starring edward Woodward as a hardass vigilante haunted by his CIA misgivings, was far from original then, and Fuqua wisely does little to tweak the formula now. Primed and predictable, Denzel Washington is a logical pick for the role of robert mcCall, who ditches his violent black-ops past for a humdrum job at a Lowe’s-like home-improvement chain. but when he catches a whiff of an innocent in serious trouble — call girl Alina (Chloë Grace moretz), a regular at the diner he frequents — he slides back into scales-of-justice mode, and his decision mushroomclouds into a war with the russian mob. Fuqua has always handled action in the most satisfying and unsubtle manner possible, and Washington does well keeping pace — it’s just that you already know the route from start to finish, and there’s never any sense that our hero might fall behind. —DL
forCe Majeure | aA freak occurrence puts strain on a marriage in ruben Östlund’s crafty melodrama. Johannes Kuhnke and Lisa Loven Kongsli seem like a happy couple as they embark on a ski trip with their two children, but a moment of weakness on his part brings their troubles to the surface like a zombie bursting from a shallow grave, turning their vacation into a marital gauntlet. The subject matter is so familiar as to be mundane, but Östlund stages the couple’s gradual unraveling as a sly comic horror, where once the floodgates have been opened every minor infraction becomes a major issue. It’s painful and darkly hilarious; as the screws tighten, you lose track of whether you’re grinning or wincing. —SA (Ritz at the Bourse) Gone Girl | B Pitting diary entries against the ostensibly objective third-person, Gillian Flynn’s Gone Girl is all about perspective. nick, played by ben Affleck in this Flynn-scripted, David Fincher-directed film, sees himself as a man ground down by his wife’s impossibly high expectations; Amy (rosamund Pike) casts herself as the victim of an emotionally and, eventually, physically abusive spouse, who may be responsible for her disappearance, or worse. Fincher’s movie adds a third perspective, or rather an interlinked set of them — the eyes of the world, which are increasingly trained on the media sensation brew-
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ing in small-town missouri. In the movie’s first section, Amy is a present absence: a smear of blood not quite erased from a kitchen floor; a voice from a diary’s half-charred pages. Later — well, that would be telling. Suffice it to say that Pike excels in a part that’s all but impossible to bring to life. The gap between who you are and who people want you to be is at the heart of Gone Girl, and a slick and sickly heart it is. Where Flynn’s novel was blackly cynical, Fincher’s movie is more wryly bemused — a shift, but not an improvement. marriages are bound by aspiration: We agree to play our better selves, at least until we lose the stamina to keep it up. It’s powerful stuff, but it’s also thin, and Fincher doesn’t do much more than slap on a coat of varnish. —SA (Wide release)
interstellar | B real emotion remains something of a black hole for Christopher nolan, and for much of the three-hour running time of Interstellar, the cerebral director teeters on its event horizon. The film takes place a generation into the future, after ecological disaster has turned the world into a giant dust bowl. matthew mcConaughey is a former astronaut turned farmer who discovers that nASA has continued in secret, run by former professor michael Caine, who is working on a long-shot rescue plan for the human race. nolan has a tendency to get explainy — this is a film, after all, where gripping suspense is mined as much from the ramifications of relativity as from daring spaceship maneuvers. Ultimately, Interstellar is an epic-scale debate over what it means to be human, as dispassionate reality conflicts with irrational emotion. nolan ultimately does pass over that aforementioned event horizon, and when he does, the film’s admirable dedication to hard science is crushed into gooey sentiment. but when it succeeds, which it does much of the time, Interstellar is a gripping adventure that’s equal parts ’50s sci-fi thrills, heady 2001 thought experiment and tortured philosophical debate. —SB (Wide release)
john wiCk | B+ more action movies should be directed by stuntmen. If even a few of them turn out as enjoyable as David Leitch and Chad Stahelski’s John Wick, it’ll be a mitzvah for a genre long in need of a little back-to-basics counter-programming. It might seem odd to use the word “sincere” to describe a movie that literally consists of Keanu reeves
[ movie shorts ]
killing dozens of suited-up schlubs over his dead beagle, but that’s what it is. no high-falutin’ wire work, no egregious CGI, no laughable attempts at a twisty Guy ritchie plot — just an hour and a half of slick ass-kicking. As Wick, a legendary hitman who left the underworld behind for love, reeves isn’t exactly King Lear, but anyone who’s looking for that is in the wrong theater anyway. Leitch, a prolific action veteran, and Stahelski, reeves’ stunt double going all the way back to Point Break, understand what works and what doesn’t, mixing flashy Hong Kong-inspired gunplay with closequarters mmA grappling that leaps off the screen. The stiffs, mini-bosses and big boys Wick works through en route to redemption are sculpted with humor and economy. That might actually be the film’s most valuable trait: Getting you in fast and out satisfied. —DL (Wide release)
niGhtCrawler | aDan Gilroy’s shadow-cloaked debut might just contain Jake Gyllenhaal’s meatiest and most marketable role in years, a performance so eye-opening you’ll find yourself making excuses for some of the film’s flimsier devices. A hard-driving but directionless petty criminal in L.A., Louis bloom is relentless without having anything to be relentless about, his unblinking discipline pushing him toward a goal he hasn’t yet set. (The autism spectrum is hinted at.) His ambition finds its outlet in “nightcrawling” — risky freelance camera work that places him, and later his stammering street-kid partner (riz Ahmed), in violent and compromising situations. bloom’s footage soon becomes invaluable to struggling Tv producer nina (rene russo), leading to a complex professional and personal relationship shaped by their shared appetite for control. Unpredictable, unscrupulous and often straightup spooky, Gyllenhaal is so good here that you find yourself rooting for his character — even if the right thing to do is to root for him to be arrested. —DL (Wide release)
more
citypaper.net/events
events listings@citypaper.net | november 13 - november 19
[ are you listening to serial? you should listen to serial ]
LOOKING UP: Kibbutz Contemporary Dance Company plays the Annenberg Center through Sunday. Uri nevo
plié, leap and otherwise bound across the stage, you see something entirely different, that’s cool. KCDC artistic director rami be’er says, “I don’t tell a story or bring narrative into my choreography. I use the visuals and music to connect with the viewer.” However you interpret the piece, the high caliber of performance is clear, as is the mesmerizing quality of the soundtrack which features music by nine Inch nails, Johann Johannsson, max richter and massive Attack. —Deni Kasrel
now it’s the Philadelphia Artists Collective’s turn. Damon bonetti directs Federico Garcia Lorca’s rarely seen 1932 drama, noting that PAC, which uses nontraditional spaces, is performing on a traditional proscenium stage for the first time — but not in a typical way, with flamenco dancing in the lobby, a wedding procession, some lucky audience members on stage and more surprises. —Mark Cofta
Kibbutz Contemporary DanCe Company
[ theater ]
$20-$60 | Thu.-Sun., Nov. 13-15, Annenberg Center, 3680 Walnut St., 215-898-3900, annenbergcenter.org.
$5-$25 | Through Nov. 23, Philadelphia Artists’ Collective, Mandell Theater, Drexel University, 3201 Chestnut St., philartistscollective.org.
$10 | Thu., Nov. 13, 8 p.m., with J. Robbins, Boot & Saddle, 1131 S. Broad St., 877-435-9849, bootandsaddlephilly.com.
Events is our selective guide to what’s going on in the city this week. For comprehensive event listings, visit citypaper.net/events. iF yoU Want to be liSted: Submit information by email (listings@ citypaper.net) or enter it yourself at citypaper.net/submit-event with the following details: date, time, address of venue, telephone number and admission price. Incomplete submissions will not be considered, and listings information will not be accepted over the phone.
11.13 thursday [ dance ]
Israel’s Kibbutz Contemporary Dance Company’s If At All is inspired by the circle of life. but if, as the performers
blooD WeDDing
Drexel University’s mandell Professionals in residence program matches students with local theater companies, and
[ rock/pop ]
Jonah matranga’s onelineDraWing
musicians aren’t only artists, they’re businesspeople, and singer-songwriter Jonah matranga embraces both roles with equal passion. Though he has toured the world, played
at major festivals and arenas, and collaborated with big names — Lupe Fiasco, Fort minor and Deftones, among others — he now prefers to play solo acoustic shows at intimate venues and selfrelease his new music. His incomparably vulnerable voice is well-suited for emo, pop and r&b. expect a one-of-a-kind concert tailored to audience requests. —Sam Fox
Young marlow and Hastings are fooled into thinking that the Hardcastles’ home is actually an inn and treat their hosts — who want marlow to marry their daughter — like servants. —Mark Cofta
[ theater ]
neil Simon’s 1991 Pulitzer Prize- and Tony Award-winning drama is darker and more ambitious than his popular comedies like The Odd Couple and Barefoot in the Park and, like his brighton beach trilogy, is autobiographical. Young brothers spend a tumultuous year with their stern German-Jewish grandmother, her spinster daughter, bella; and her would-be gangster son, Louie. His brother — the boys’ widowed dad, eddie
she stoops to Conquer $10-$15 | Through Nov. 22, Temple Theaters at Randall Theater, Temple University, 2020 N. 13th St., 215204-1122, temple.edu/theater. Temple Theater features barrymore Award-winning actress Cheryl Williams and People’s Light & Theatre Company veteran David Ingram as the hilarious Hardcastles in a classic 1773 restoration romantic comedy of mistaken identities.
[ theater ]
lost in yonKers $36-$46 | Through Nov. 30, Bristol Riverside Theatre, 120 Radcliffe St., Bristol, 215-785-0100, brtstage.org.
— is played by Philadelphia playwright bruce Graham. —Mark Cofta
[ jazz ]
abraxas $20 | Thu., Nov. 13, 8 p.m., Shivtei Yeshuron-Ezras Israel, 2015 S. Fourth St., arsnovaworkshop.com. As a bassist, Shanir ezra blumenkranz has worked extensively with John Zorn and his web of Downtown experimentalists. When he finally released his leader debut in 2012, blumenkranz exclusively played the West African guimbri for a set of music from Zorn’s expansive Book of Angels repertoire. The follow-up, again with the Jewish-rock-jazz quartet Abraxas, features a new suite called “Psychomagia” penned by Zorn for the group and inspired by the magical writings of Giordano bruno and Alejandro Jodorowsky. —Shaun Brady
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New Orleans Suspects Members of the Neville Brothers, The Radiators, Dirty Dozen, and James Brownâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s last band leader.
Dan Reed of WXPN sitting in for a special Stones tribute Glen David Andrews to open Special NOLA CrawďŹ sh & Gumbo dinner
Ardmore Music Hall
Saturday November 15 7:30pm, 21+
tickets at ArdmoreMusic.com c i t y pa p e r . n e t | n o v e m b e r 1 3 - n o v e m b e r 1 9 , 2 0 1 4 | p h i l a d e l p h i a c i t y pa p e r |
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Celebr ating Ameri can Craft Beer and Classi c Arcad e Games
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$ 7 $ $ 7 $ 7 # $ 7 8
NOW OPEN!!
f&d
foodanddrink
what’scooking J A S o N vA r N e Y
By Caroline russock
➤the week in eats
The Spirit of Gin Brunch | Sat., Nov. 15, noon, $20 ➤ For those with a constitution strong enough to handle botanical spirits and bivalves at noon, the Oyster House is hosting a brunch celebrating gin and oysters. Bluecoat distiller Michael Higgins and The Spirit of Gin author Matt Teacher are going to be on hand discussing the marriage of the pair. The $20 ticket price offers you a chance to sample a half dozen of the Oyster House’s freshest along with your choice of a barrel-aged gin and tonic, or an Aviation featuring Bluecoat gin, lemon, creme de violette and maraschino. Oyster House, 1516 Sansom St., 215-567-7683, oysterhousephilly.com. Fundraiser for Theo Webb | Sun., Nov. 16, 3-6 p.m. $50 ➤ Theo Webb has been a beloved face behind the bar for years at places like James and Fish and most recently Brü. Last week, he was in a bicycle accident, leaving him with some serious medical bills. His friends are hosting a benefit for him on Sunday. The $50 entry fee gets you an open bar, plenty of sausage-centric snacks and a chance to get in on a silent auction, all for a very good cause. Brü, 1316 Chestnut St., 215-800-1079, bruphilly.com. Sbraga Culinary Career Dinner | Wed., Nov. 19 $85 ➤ Many people think Kevin Sbraga was magically birthed from Top Chef Season 7. Well, before taking home that title in 2010, Sbraga had quite an illustrious resume. On Wednesday, Sbraga is taking a look at his career with a seven-course meal celebrating his past, present and future. The meal kicks off with oysters and caviar from the upcoming Juniper Commons, fried green tomatoes from the Fat Ham and fettuccine with salt pork and sage from Sbraga. The final courses come from further back — veal shank with baby vegetables from his time with Georges Perrier, tuna fried rice from the Ritz-Carlton and brioche-crusted branzino from Rat’s in Jersey. Sbraga, 440 S. Broad St., 215-735-1913, sbragadining.com. (caroline@citypaper.net) 28 | P h i l a d e l P h i a C i t y Pa P e r |
MATCH POINT: Neapolitan pies and handmade pastas join gelato at Capofitto. neal SantOS
[ review ]
Pies a la Mode A gelato juggernaut gets into the pizza game at Old City’s Capofitto. By Adam Erace CaPOFittO | 223 Chestnut St., 215-897-9999, capofittoforno.com. Sun.-
Thu., 7:30 a.m.-10:30 p.m.; Fri.-Sat., 7:30 a.m.-11:30 p.m. Appetizers, $5$11; pizza, $12-$19; desserts, $7-$10.
W
hen Stephanie reitano, inspired by an Italian vacation, wanted to learn how to make gelato, she sought the advice of the best in the business and began experimenting at home. Then she and her husband, John, opened Capogiro, the gelateria that has since launched a thousand cones of Cioccolato Scuro. You could say that venture turned out oK: The reitanos have four locations spread around town, plus a booming wholesale business. Their dreamy waves of churned Lancaster County milk have been called the best in the country. So when Stephanie decided she wanted to learn to make pizza, she took the same approach, undergoing two separate apprenticeships with a third-generation pizzaiola, Ciro Salvo, in Naples. “I was cutting mozzarella for three hours a day,” she remembers. “They’re very secretive, and it’s all men; they didn’t really like the idea of me going shoulder-to-shoulder on the line.”
N o v e m b e r 1 3 - N o v e m b e r 1 9 , 2 0 1 4 | C i t y Pa P e r . n e t
As the sticky summer weeks passed, she earned her keep in the flour-fingered boy’s club — forming dough, making staff meal. And when she departed Italy, armed with secrets gleaned from the maestro, she and John opened Capofitto, a handsome pizzeria in the offices of a defunct paper company on Chestnut Street. A curved-glass gelato case dominates the entrance of the galley-like front room, and for some one-track-minded customers, Capofitto begins and ends with a cone of Thai coconut milk or Campari grapefruit. but while the gelato is obviously virtuous, it would be a shame to miss what this place is really all about. Weave your way into the back of the space, along the coffee bar stacked with dishes of Italian candy and jars of five-spice-scented cookies, toward the awkward cluster of staff that seals off the dining room entrance. Pass through the pretty wall of French doors that once divided the paper offices and into a spacious dining room with the vibe of a worn-in living room. The double banquettes flanking the room wear rainbow looming that feels like an old winter scarf. Textured tin walls mimic corduroy, and one stretch is decorated with mirrors that look as if they came from restoration Hardware’s evil queen collection. In this kingdom, Stephanie reitano is the fairest of them all: dark hair in a tight knot, baggy ivory cargo pants and slim white logo T in the style of the Neapolitan pizza pros. When you’re standing in front
rEAd morE citypaper.net/ mealticket
>>> continued on adjacent page
let’sgetiton A weekly column on sex of all stripes. By Rachel Kramer Bussel
bending my boyfriend over ➤ I’ve never been the kind of woman who won-
Bring back the passion! Philadelphia Institute for Individual, Relational & Sex Therapy We are a counseling, therapy and training center dedicated to helping individuals, couples, and families work through life’s unique challenges.
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N O v E M B E R 1 3 - N O v E M B E R 1 9 , 2 0 1 4 | C i t y Pa P e r . n e t
dered what I’d do if I had a penis, so the first time I tried strapping on a dildo, it was because my boyfriend wanted me to. I was game for backdoor play, but I needed some reinforcements. My first task was finding a suitably feminine sex toy for a girly-girl like me. I didn’t want a traditional harness, which works wonders for some people, but to me felt too spare and utilitarian. So, I was happy to find the body-hugging, SpareParts Sasha panty harness, in red, of course; it was worth $150 for me to feel comfortable and sexy. The bikini bottom looks like it belongs in a highend lingerie shop, except that it has an O-ring embedded up front, which holds the dildo in place. The first time I tried it, I felt awkward; after all, I suddenly had this appendage sticking out of me. Next, I had to find a position that felt comfortable for both of us, and that was trickier than I’d imagined. When I had used the same dildo manually, I had a front-row seat to see exactly what I was doing. But with the panty, I didn’t have the same level of control, and kept asking, “Are you OK? Does that hurt?” While it’s important to check in during sex, my extreme nervousness was ruining the mood. “I’ll tell you if it’s too much,” he assured me. Slowly, we found our rhythm, with a few more verbal assurances along the way. For me, it wasn’t the power trip I’d been expecting. I didn’t have some “aha” gender revelation, like This is what it feels like to have a dick! I was fully aware the whole time that I was a cisgender woman using a sex toy, but I did get a rush of power knowing how good I was making my boyfriend feel. There are some noises you just can’t fake, and his were sounds of pure bliss. So, once I got over my fear that something would go awry, I got more into it. While I’d never been as big a fan as he was of being on the receiving end of anal sex, his pleasure felt familiar to me, because I’ve made similar sex squeals. Since then, I’ve discovered that I don’t have to wear a cock to wield one well. I piled up pillows to try to make the pegging position work, but no matter what, our bodies just wouldn’t align. Rather than becoming overly frustrated, I got naked and worked the dildo manually. I controlled every
motion, easing back or pushing forward at my comfort level. Eventually, I lay down on top of him, fingers digging into his shoulders, my breasts against his back, pressing the toy forward with my pubic bone, mimicking the job of the panty with the dildo attached. Afterward, the sex was explosive, for both of us — though I hesitate to call pegging “foreplay,” because it’s its own main course. My favorite part of pegging is still giving my partners pleasure. If backdoor fun lights their fire, I
There are some noises you just can’t fake, and his were sounds of pure bliss. want to be the spark. To me, being able to do that is all the power trip I need. Anal sex has come a long way in the popular imagination since S.I.R. Productions released its pioneering educational porn video Bend Over Boyfriend in 1998. (If you’re curious about the topic, it’s worth watching.) But, too often it’s still framed as something a man does to a woman, and something that dare not be discussed outright, such as on The Mindy Project episode “I Slipped.” Is someone out there ready to become the poster boy for pegging? ✚ Rachel Kramer Bussel is the author of the essay collection Sex & Cupcakes and editor of over 50 erotica anthologies, most recently Hungry for More and The Big Book of Submission. She tweets @raquelita.
To read previous columns, go to the
let’s get it on blog at
citypaper.net
jonesinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;
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By Matt Jones
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INVITES YOU AND GUEST TO SEE
â&#x20AC;&#x153;A numb Jokeâ&#x20AC;?â&#x20AC;&#x201D;i cAn't feel my sense of humor!
LOG ON TO WWW.CITYPAPER.NET/WIN FOR ENTRY DETAILS THIS FILM IS RATED R for strong crude sexual content and language throughout Please note: Passes are limited and will be distributed on a first come, first served basis while supplies last. No phone calls, please. Limit one pass per person. Each pass admits two. Seating is not guaranteed. Arrive early. Theater is not responsible for overbooking. This screening will be monitored for unauthorized recording. By attending, you agree not to bring any audio or video recording device into the theater (audio recording devices for credentialed press excepted) and consent to a physical search of your belongings and person. Any attempted use of recording devices will result in immediate removal from the theater, forfeiture, and may subject you to criminal and civil liability. Please allow additional time for heightened security. You can assist us by leaving all nonessential bags at home or in your vehicle.
IN THEATERS NOVEMBER 26 horriblebosses2.com
â&#x153;&#x161; Across 1 4 7 12 14 15 16 18 19 21 22 25 26 30 31 35 38 39 40 43 44 45 48 51 54 58 60 61 62
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Like some prunes or olives Bull breed Solemn assent â&#x20AC;&#x153;___ your Daddy?â&#x20AC;? Got teary Do the laundry â&#x20AC;&#x153;___ Like About Youâ&#x20AC;? Aegean Sea region Assembly that selects a pope 1040 preparer Jerk Scottish family Everest guide, often Former Roxy Music member Brian Brand known as Dreyerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s in the western US Lyft competitor ___ Plus Actor Hawke Went for a pitch â&#x20AC;&#x153;Gold Diggerâ&#x20AC;? rapper West Still undecided, on a schedule â&#x20AC;&#x153;The buck stops hereâ&#x20AC;? prez 4 ___ Blondes Night for celebration
â&#x153;&#x161; Š2014 Jonesinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Crosswords (editor@jonesincrosswords.com)
35 SNL segment 36 â&#x20AC;&#x153;Private Dancerâ&#x20AC;? singer Turner 37 Group with pitchforks and torches 41 â&#x20AC;&#x153;Looks like a nasty scrape ...â&#x20AC;? 42 Road crewâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s color 45 Sneeze sounds 46 Horse, to Maurice 47 â&#x20AC;&#x153;I ___ declare...â&#x20AC;? 49 Like some stews 50 Breaking Bad actor ___ Paul 52 MPH middle 53 Smashable bit 55 Ms. Kunis 56 Dukes of Hazzard deputy 57 50+ org. 58 â&#x20AC;&#x153;Weekend Edition Sundayâ&#x20AC;? org. 59 â&#x20AC;&#x153;And what have we here!?!â&#x20AC;?
#HORRIBLEBOSSES2
lAst weekâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s solution
) *
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No purchase necessary. Two admit-two passes will be available while supplies last. Note that passes received through this promotion do not guarantee you a seat at the theatre. Seating is on a first-come, first-served basis, except for members of the reviewing press. Theatre is overbooked to ensure a full house. No admittance once screening has begun. All federal, state and local regulations apply. Recipient of tickets assumes any and all risks related to use of ticket and accepts any restrictions required by ticket provider and their affi liates accept no responsibility or liability in connection with any loss or accident incurred in connection with use of a prize. Tickets cannot be exchanged, transferred or redeemed for cash, in whole or in part. We are not responsible if, for any reason, winner is unable to use his/her ticket in whole or in part. Void where prohibited by law. Participating sponsors, their employees and family members and their agencies are not eligible. No phone calls, please. PENGUINS OF MADAGASCAR is rated PG.
'! # & % % #($%"& $# c i t y pa p e r . n e t | n o v e m b e r 1 3 - n o v e m b e r 1 9 , 2 0 1 4 | p h i l a d e l p h i a c i t y pa p e r |
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Announcements Donations Wanted Your FALL CLEANING CAN HELP FIGHT CANCER! Call for convenient pick up of your unwanted clothing, housewares and furniture. Raising funds for Fox Chase Cancer Center, Fein Chapter for 20+ years. Call 215-842-1638 Receipt provided
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[ i love you, i hate you ] 22
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to place your free ad (100 word limit) ➤ email lovehate@citypaper.net BROKENHEARTED HOE oh how I love how easy it is to talk to you, and 90% of the sex we have, and how you always seem to be there when I need you. I love how you are good-looking and mature and talented and creative, and of course, I love the fact that you are wooing me. I hate that you look exactly like my ex-boyfriend, and the fact that I’d rather make out with our co-worker because his hair's longer and am unsure if said coworker even wants to make out with me anyway.
CAUSE WE’RE FISHES
and the rest of us are getting later and later. You and your fucking hot dogs disgust me. I hope you die a slow and painful death from ecoli or diabetes or some ecoli/diabetes super disease.
HEY RABBIT PUNCH Whenever we spend time together I hate it when I have to say goodnight. I had a great time monday night and all we did was manual labor and possibly contract asbestos poisoning. HAHAHA! I am always there for you and I hope you know it even though I’m
have been together a long time ago! It made me angry that you told me that you went and got married! What happened to you and me! I wanted us to be together and live and be happy but you fucked around and married that beast! I hate the fact that you are with someone else! I hate the fact that I can’t have you when I want you! I love the fact that you are coming up to Philly soon and you and I can be together! That is the only wonderful thing to me! We definitely belong together! You know it and I know it! I love you so much!
And there’s nothing owed to you.expectations glimmer early on and burn in the dawn's reality. I know it’s fun to paint yourself white. The dangerous think they know everything. Disappointments vengence rides you around from borrowed pages of earlier chapters of your story. You’re doing well now. There’s no depth I haven’t already seen. I’m gonna keep skipping along my effervescent way. Hope you will too. It’s been a hoot.
SIT THE FUCK DOWN! every time I turn around I see your ass standing the fuck in someone’s face! Why are you not doing what you supposed to do! If I were your manager I would tell you to go the fuck home if you can’t sit down and do what you need to do. Your voice carrys like a fucking plague. Then you complain and say that you don’t have enough hours in your day to do what you supposed to do! That is because you are standing the fuck around in everyone’s way talking like you are the fucking mayor! Sit down and shut up!
FAILED AGAIN Next time you decide to come to the rescue of someone you’ve fucked make sure you have your facts correct. even you had to back down and admit in the end she as wrong as two left feet and ugly shoes. You wanna really right a wrong? How about paying your taxes, stop using others to advance your agenda and staying out of grown folk’s business.
FRIENDS OR LOVERS
Hey, fatty. Stop clogging up the bus entrance with your fatt ass like your fat ass fucking owns the place. Some of us got shit to do, and your fat ass is eating a hot dog with one hand and trying to swipe your fucking bus pass with the other (turn it over, bitch!),
I meant everything I said. You are a liar. I have put up with lies for many years. No longer will I subject myself and mY daughter to lies. I never lied. I have only told the truth. As for you, I hope you get what's coming to you for you have TorTUreD mANY WomeN, you piece of crap. Unsuspecting women will fall victim to your lies until you are no longer breathing and you got away without paying child support to the many, many children you have fathered. UGH. Shame on you!
Despite some petty things, those were good years. We grew and realized who we were, as we were one another’s pupil. You introduced me to so many things emotionally, philosophically and sexually. When we would smoke and make love- how hot you felt-your sweet breasts hovering over me. You’d smile and say, “It’s the drug,” and thrust harder. We laughed, cried, experimented and came together. I always admired your wits and courage. You have so much to offer this world and the people who are close to you. You are heart strong. No matter what, don’t doubt that.
What was the real logic of what the fuck you did? Can you tell me that? Why are there so many miserable people in this world? Why do people try to think that they can sleep with your boyfriend and get away with it! Who the fuck do you think that you are, you know if I catch you over my house I am going to punch you in the face. To my wanna-be boyfriend you think that you real slick don’t you, I know exactly what you are doing, how about this you sleep with that bitch and leave me the fuck alone because I am tired of it! I am just tired of being the fuck tired. oh girly. by the way when he kisses you you are eating me out....don’t you know!
HEY FATTY
MY MESSAGE
REMEMBERING!
DON’T UNDERSTAND
Hey cousin, I am worried about you! You tell me a lot of stuff about you guy Tom, but it doesn’t make any sense to me because you still want to be bothered with his shit! Is it because you like eating shit or something? Tell me the truth about yourself. Why do you like humiliation? Why do you keep doing this to yourself? I am so tired of hearing about him! I love you cousin, but most of the time I don’t think that you think with your mind. Use your mind not your body more, you would catch more flies!
our own family and our love couldn’t be stronger. I want to thank you for sticking it in through all my mood swings and my un-logical ways of doing things. I know we can both work each other’s nerves at times but who would have known that we would have made it to this point. I love you more then ever. P.S. I knew you would love me;-) b.
SUNSHINE
sure you do. If I had it my way I’d drive you home every night. No one makes me happier or more excited to be around. And no one's smile makes me feel the way yours does. Whether we’re candy scoop fighting or applying spackle it’s all amazing. I couldn’t even talk straight because you look totally sexy wearing my baseball hat. I wish I was kissing you right now. PS You can double dip the fried ravioli anytime you want.
I WISH YOU WERE MINE! Damn, when we talked on the phone I thought to myself, I love him so much and I wish that we could
MY LOVE From the first time I saw you, I knew there was something about you that I couldn’t walk away from. It was “Love At First Sight” for me. Not only did you fill my prescription that day but also you filled my heart with images of you and me together forever. I took the first step and gave you my number and you followed up by calling me that night, before u knew it I was spending my first weekend over your place. I said I love you first and you said I was moving too fast, lol. I told you that I could wait for you to catch up to me, not long after that I was moving in. Now close to 3 yrs later we have built
You are my sunshine my only sunshine! I say this because I love you so much! You just don’t know what you do to me and if I am going to be your wife I am going to have to learn to do the things that I did for the other guy when I was with him. I mean he sexy and all but you are the sexiest! I love you with all my heart and I can’t wait to see you and do the things that I thought that I couldn’t do with you!!
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c i t y pa p e r . n e t | N o v e m b e r 1 3 - N o v e m b e r 1 9 , 2 0 1 4 | p h i l a d e l p h i a c i t y pa p e r |
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