Philadelphia City Paper, March 27th, 2014

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contents COOKING UP A SCHOOL-LUNCH CAMPAIGN

OPENING SEASON

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FOOD | It’s high season for spring restaurant openings. We’ve got previews of a Mexican redux on 13th Street, Jewish-American and Israeli fare on Sansom, a new venture from Chip Roman, and Eli Kulp’s new menu at the AKA hotel. Adam Erace checks out the breakfast and lunch offerings at Cousin’s Grubhouse, where a chef has taken over a deep South Philly staple and introduced the neighborhood to breakfast beyond scrapple, egg and cheese.

NAKED CITY | Drew Lazor joins Daniel Denvir for

lunch at an elementary school in Kensington while students campaign to dump the School District’s food provider. What did Lazor think of the burger? Let’s just say the meal brought back memories.

IT’S TECHNICALLY SPRING!

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LOVE FOR SALE

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ARTS | Jonathan Demme’s art collection would

go well with some fava beans and a nice Chianti.

COMEBACK KID

NEAL SANTOS

COVER STORY | Mikala Jamison talked to all 5,000 women behind Saturday’s 5,000 Women fest. Plus, we look ahead at the season’s biggest concerts, plays, bazaars and “extreme midget wrestling� events.

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COMEDY | Standup comic Hari Kondabolu’s had a couple not-awesome shows in Philly. Now he’s back and ready to crush it.

TROUBLE IN PARIS

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MOVIES | Le Week-End is kind of like Before

Midnight but with Jeff Goldblum and insults.

NAKED CITY 6 Bell Curve; 7 Jon Geeting’s political analysis of state Senate races. // A&E 52 Album reviews: At least one of these bands is NSFW // FOOD 62 Amuse Bouche; 64 Restaurant listings // CITYPAPER.NET Mike Pelusi reviews that book about Alex Chilton; Chris Sikich reviews Tinariwen at the Prince // COVER Photograph by Neal Santos (Tangle Movement Arts’ Maura Kirk with “The Abundant City� mural by Eurhi Jones for Mural Arts); Design by Brenna Adams

STAFF Publisher Nancy Stuski Editor in Chief Lillian Swanson Senior Editor Patrick Rapa Arts & Culture Editor Mikala Jamison Digital Media Editor/Movies Editor Paulina Reso Food Editor/Listings Editor Caroline Russock Senior Staff Writers Daniel Denvir, Emily Guendelsberger Staff Writer Ryan Briggs Copy Chief Carolyn Wyman Associate Web Producer Carly Szkaradnik Contributors Sam Adams, Dotun Akintoye, A.D. Amorosi, Rodney Anonymous, Mary Armstrong, Meg Augustin, Bryan Bierman, Shaun Brady, Peter Burwasser, Mark Cofta, Alison Dell, Adam Erace, David Anthony Fox, Caitlin Goodman, K. Ross Hoffman, Deni Kasrel, Alli Katz, Gary M. Kramer, Drew Lazor, Gair “Dev 79� Marking, Robert McCormick, Andrew Milner, Annette Monnier, John Morrison, Michael Pelusi, Sameer Rao, Elliott Sharp, Marc Snitzer, Tom Tomorrow, John Vettese, Nikki Volpicelli, Brian Wilensky Editorial Interns Larry Miller, Maggie Grabmeier, Edward Newton, Robert Skvarla, Thomas O’Malley Production Director Michael Polimeno Editorial Art Director Allie Rossignol Advertising Art Director Evan M. Lopez Editorial Designers Brenna Adams, Jenni Betz Staff Photographer Neal Santos Contributing Photographers Jessica Kourkounis, Mark Stehle Contributing Illustrators Ryan Casey, Don Haring Jr., Joel Kimmel, 4 | P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R |

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Cameron K. Lewis, Thomas Pitilli, Matthew Smith Human Resources Ron Scully (ext. 210) Circulation Director Mark Burkert (ext. 239) Sales & Marketing Manager Katherine Siravo (ext. 251) Account Managers Colette Alexandre (ext. 250), Nick Cavanaugh (ext. 260), Amanda Gambier (ext. 228), Sharon MacWilliams (ext. 262), Megan Musser (ext. 215), Stephan Sitzai (ext. 258) Office Coordinator/Adult Advertising Sales Alexis Pierce (ext. 234) Founder & Editor Emeritus Bruce Schimmel citypaper.net 30 South 15th Street, Fourteenth Floor, Phila., PA 19102. 215-735-8444, Tip Line 215-735-8444 ext. 241, Listings Fax 215-875-1800, Advertising Fax 215-735-8535, Subscriptions 215-735-8444 ext. 235 The printing of City Paper was provided by Calkins Media (215-949-4224). Philadelphia City Paper is published and distributed every Thursday in Philadelphia, Montgomery, Chester, Bucks & Delaware Counties, in South Jersey and in Northern Delaware. Philadelphia City Paper is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. Additional copies may be purchased from our main office at $1 per copy. No person may, without prior written permission from Philadelphia City Paper, take more than one copy of each issue. Pennsylvania law prohibits any person from inserting printed material of any kind into any newspaper without the consent of the owner or publisher. Contents copyright Š 2014, Philadelphia City Paper. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced without written permission from the publisher. Philadelphia City Paper assumes no obligation (other than cancellation of charges for actual space occupied) for accidental errors in advertising, but will be glad to furnish a signed letter to the buying public.

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naked

the

city

thebellcurve CP’s Quality-o-Life-o-Meter

[ -4 ]

A conflict-resolution specialist at Bartram High School is knocked out during a scuffle with a student. This resolved the conflict.

[ +1 ]

Police in Lower Merion encourage people out walking their dogs to serve as a neighborhood watch. “Surely you jest, constable. I am a King Charles Spaniel. I studied under Lord Barksly of Westminster. In the event I encounter a street tough, I assure you, I will immediately seek safe haven beneath a porch or chaise longue.”

[ +1 ]

The School District is opening three “innovative” high schools this fall. Which is kind of like the current “paperless” schools. It sounds high tech, but really, somebody just stole the paper and we can’t afford more.

[0 ]

The Archdiocese is putting five Thomas Eakins paintings from its collection up for auction.“But we’re keeping the nudes. Fine art is a total porn loophole. God says.”

TOM STIGLICH

[ education ]

[0 ]

The School District announces it will no longer use seniority as the main criteria when filling teacher positions. Bet that got your attention, you old bat. Yeah, you.

+

An amateur fossil hunter reunites half of a prehistoric turtle bone with the other half in the Academy of Natural Sciences’ collection. “WHO HAS AWOKEN GAMERA?” Gamera wonders aloud.

[ 2]

[ +1 ]

[0 ]

In his letter encouraging the pope to visit Philadelphia, Mayor Nutter calls the city “a microcosm of our nation and the world.” “I see,” said the pope. “Could I be pope of the moon, maybe?” Councilman Jim Kenney proposes installing slot machines at Philadelphia International Airport. “FYI, I’m basically just blurting out every single idea that pops into my head,” says Kenney. “Dogs should deliver the mail. Buses would go faster if they rode on tracks. Let’s fill the Wells Fargo Center with Chicken McNuggets.”

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FOOD FIGHT Philly public school students are pushing for tastier and healthier lunches. By Daniel Denvir hiladelphia students are campaigning to dump the company that provides many of the city’s public schools with frozen, pre-plated lunches, contending that the food provided by Maramont, a subsidiary of Illinois-based Preferred Meal Systems, Inc., tastes bad and is bad for their health. The contract, which has been awarded solely to Maramont for the past decade, includes pre-plated lunches, breakfasts and afterschool meals. It will expire in July, and the District has issued a Request for Proposals that has attracted bids from two rival foodservice companies. Youth United for Change (YUC) student activists, who worked with the District to rewrite the RFP, say that providing better food is a simple thing that cash-strapped public schools can do to improve student health and learning. “A lot of my elementary schools had pre-plated food, and we would mainly get ‘space lunches,’” says Deionni Martinez, a 17-year-old sophomore at Kensington High School for Creative and Performng Arts (KCAPA) and a YUC member, referring to the plastic-wrapped, frozen pizzas and “sausage things” heated on site. Martinez, like almost all District high school students, now eats lunches prepared in an on-site kitchen, which she says is “way better.”

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Currently, 41 percent of Philly public school students receive food prepared at an on-site kitchen, while 59 percent eat pre-plated meals that are heated on site. At Frances E. Willard Elementary, a K-4 school in Kensington, the lunchroom was packed on Tuesday as students moved in and out in shifts. The students have just 25 minutes to eat, and then 20 minutes for recess. Drew Lazor, a local food writer, joined City Paper to taste test the pre-plated school lunch: a hamburger patty inside a wheat bun, a bag of mini carrots with ranch dressing dip, baked beans (in a T.V. dinner-style plastic covered dish), an orange or apple, diced peaches in sweet syrup, and graham crackers, all served with a choice of chocolate or regular milk. “I thought it tasted like microwaved hamburger,” says Lazor, appraising a meal that he found edible if not particularly nutritious or tasty. The bun was dry, and the burger “reminded me of the burgers I had as a kid in school lunches,” he says. Student opinion was mixed, but generally leaned positive: They like hamburgers, and many praised chicken nugget day. According to Wayne Grasela, School District senior vice president for Food Services, the students’ favorite foods are salisbury steak, chicken nuggets, pizza, meatballs and (turkey) hot dogs, in that order. With the District mired in a severe budget crisis, shuttered schools

Students are circulating a letter.

>>> continued on page 10

[ is not feeling that cafeteria jawn ] [ a million stories ]

✚ WHEN ‘THE WHOLE JAWN CAME DOWN,’ WE WENT LOOKING FOR THE WORD’S PHILLY ROOTS The Daily News’ Bill Bender got the perfect quote from a witness to a building collapse in Strawberry Mansion earlier this month. “The whole jawn came down,” Pele Lewis told Bender, thus giving us a phrase that will now live forever. Given that, we thought this was the perfect time to ask Ben Zimmer, linguist, lexicographer, Wall Street Journal columnist and former New York Times “On Language” columnist, to shed some light on the origins of “jawn,” that ubiquitous, all-purpose word from Philly’s regional lexicon. First, we asked him to define the word itself. “So, I’m not a native — I’m from central New Jersey, so not part of the Greater Philly area,” he says. “But my sense of it is that it comes up from the way that ‘joint’ was used in New York slang (particularly hip-hop slang), to refer to something in a positive way — like, ‘That’s the Joint,’ the song by Funky Four Plus One from 1981. “But [jawn] got extended in different directions semantically; it could refer to not just something you admire or think of in a positive way, but as an all-purpose word to refer to different types of things and people.” Asked how he traces the history of something as ephemeral as the spoken language, Zimmer said, “It’s tricky. You try to first rely on what other people might have done; I looked at various slang dictionaries, but they really weren’t helpful because it’s pretty much a local thing, as opposed to ‘joint.’ It seems to represent a pronunciation of the word, but also a local meaning of the word, which

can be harder to find. “Fortunately, there are online resources. There are old Usenet newsgroups for rap and hip-hop fans, and they can go all the way back to the early ’90s when people might be using these terms and talking about how they are specific to Philly. ‘Jawn’ was something that came up in the newsgroups and was discussed; I think it also entered this online rap dictionary that originally circulated on the Usenet, but now has its own website, rapdict.org. But from that period, it was identified as Philly slang. “You really need people with local knowledge. My knowledge of old-school Philly rap is pretty limited, so I’m sure I don’t know the best places to look for how that expression might have spread — if there were particular songs on local record labels that might have helped spread it. “It came up on the American Dialect Society mailing list, actually; someone was asking about it quite a while ago, and that’s just the sort of thing they like to try and figure out. There was a suggestion that it could have also been some sort of variation on ‘John’ — the name — but people mostly talked about it as coming from ‘joint,’ which seems like the most obvious etymology to me. ‘Joint,’ meaning marijuana cigarette, gets extended into referring to anything that’s fine or pleasurable, as in, ‘That’s the ______.’ But it’s difficult in something like that where there aren’t a lot of good sources, so there’s a lot of speculation.”

A close cousin is the way ‘joint’ was used in N.Y. slang.

— Emily Guendelsberger

photostream ➤ submit to photostream@citypaper.net

politicalmachine By Jon Geeting

WATCH THESE SENATE SEATS ➤ GOV. TOM CORBETT’S re-election hopes

are circling the drain, but Philadelphians hoping to part with Corbett shouldn’t break out the party hats just yet. Republicans control both chambers in Harrisburg, so a Democratic governor wouldn’t be able to do much unless party control changes in at least one of them. The Senate, which the Republicans control 27-23, is the chamber more likely to change hands. To take control, the Democrats would need to flip these seats: ➤ SD-26: JOHN KANE VS. TOM MCGARRIGLE

Republican Edwin Erickson’s retirement at the end of this session handed Democrats their most likely pick-up of the 2014 cycle. Democrat John Kane, business manager for Plumbers Union Local 690, will face Republican Tom McGarrigle, the Delaware County Council chairman, for this seat covering parts of Delaware and Chester counties. Based on the recent performance of statewide candidates in this district, any Democrat carries a 3-point advantage to win, even before other factors, such as personality and fundraising, are factored in. And Kane’s $267,000 first quarter fundraising haul won’t hurt either. ➤ SD-16: WALT FELTON VS. PAT BROWNE

SUBTERRANEAN: A view of the Market Street bridge, framed by a vaulted span, on a late afternoon in early March. CHRISTA GOLDSBOROUGH

Incumbent Pat Browne is the Republican majority whip, and he has held this seat covering parts of urban Allentown and the Lehigh County suburbs since 2005. He’s a well-known moderate. But whipping Corbett’s priorities through the Senate may have taken a toll on Brown’s popularity in a district that favors Democrats by 4 points. Browne’s challenger, Walt Felton, has served as an Allentown police officer for 21 years, and previously ran unsuccessfully in a close race for district judge in 2009. He attracts a lot of volunteers for races in Allentown — an asset in a low-turnout midterm election. Whether that’s enough to overcome Browne’s name recognition and $250,000 cash-on-hand remains to be seen. >>> continued on page 12

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04 *According to the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services.

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Sign up for health insurance by March 31st. March 31st is the last day to sign up for health insurance to be covered in 2014. You may even qualify for financial assistance. At Independence Blue Cross, we’ll answer your questions and help you get enrolled. Plus, we have the lowest rates in the region on the Marketplace*. Choose Blue and sign up today.

Call 1-855-IBX4YOU or visit ibx4you.com Join us at 1901 Market Street from March 28th - March 31st to sign up in person. Visit ibx.com/events for more information.

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✚ Food Fight

[ the naked city ]

<<< continued from page 6

and shrunken staffing have dominated headlines. School lunches — like arts, music, physical education and health — have been put on the back burner and suffered big cutbacks. In 2011, the School District closed 26 on-site kitchens at the onset of the current budget crunch. Sam Reed, a teacher at Dimner Beeber Middle School in Overbrook, says that the pre-plated lunches that followed were a turn toward the nasty. “The food sucks,” says Reed. “I used to eat lunch in the cafeteria. The food was decent and eating lunch was a good bonding time with students.” The campaign to improve school lunches nationwide has gained momentum in recent years as public-health experts and high-profile figures have taken aim at reducing childhood obesity. The federal government holds big sway over food in Philly public schools, because 98 percent of funding comes from federal and state programs, mainly the U.S.D.A.’s National School Lunch Program. Philadelphia also participates in the U.S.D.A. Donated Commodity program, buying meat, cheese and other items at a huge discount. The burgers and steaks in pre-plated meals are the same government-provided food cooked in on-site cafeterias. In January 2012, the U.S.D.A. released new guidelines for federally subsidized school lunches that mandated more fruits and vegetables and less salt and fat, and set calorie limits for the first time. The battle over school lunches is politically charged, and food-industry groups like the National Potato Council have successfully blocked attempts to reduce starchy vegetables (like french fries) and make it harder to count tomato paste on a slice of pizza as a “vegetable.” Xuan Nguyen, an 18-year-old KCAPA senior who participated in a blind taste test evaluating the companies submitting bids, says that it’s a misconception that young people won’t eat vegetables. “Almost everybody loves the salad,” she said. Grasela oversees an enormous and complex operation, but his administrative staff has been cut severely, from 75 employees in 2000 to 13 today. That makes innovation a challenge. But student activists and food advocates say that the District has been a good partner, working with activists to rewrite their Request for Proposals in order to attract more varied bidders. Maramont is now competing with two companies that have a reputation for healthful and fresh food — Revolution Foods and Whitsons — for the new contract. YUC has circulated a community letter urging the District to contract with Revolution Foods. It was signed by a number of groups, including Asian Americans United, Philadelphia Student Union and the Philadelphia Federation of Teachers. Grasela says that school lunches will include more salads and fruit regardless of which companies win the contracts, which has now been broken into a larger and smaller segment to allow for more 10 | P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R |

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providers. And the District is shifting more schools toward onsite cafeterias, aiming for 70 percent by the 2017-18 school year. It then plans for students in the remaining schools to be served fresh food prepared at centralized, off-site commissaries. “This isn’t our long-term plan,” he says, gesturing toward the line for pre-plated lunches. “This RFP is just a bridge.” Last year, the value of Maramont’s contract was $29.9 million, and it is projected to fall to $27.5 million for the current year and continue declining as the number of on-site kitchens increases. In the 2012-13 school year, the District’s Food Services office spent $77.7 million serving 28.5 million meals, meaning that the average breakfast, lunch or dinner costs $2.73. Maramont charges the District $1.85 for each

“The food sucks,” says teacher Sam Reed. pre-plated lunch, through that price does not include costs related to District labor and supplies. Maramont may not give up Philadelphia’s young diners without a fight. In Boston and San Francisco, parent company Preferred Meal sued school districts in recent years after they decided to switch vendors. Preferred Meal alleged that the districts violated bidding rules; they lost the suit against San Francisco, and Boston schools say that the company dropped its challenge there. A spokesperson for Maramont declined an interview request, saying the company does not comment on its relationship with a district while a bid is under way, nor does it comment on legal matters. The company also declined to discuss the quality of its food. (daniel.denvir@citypaper.net)

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[ the naked city ]

Seasonal Bouquets & Wedding Flowers!

✚ Political Machine <<< continued from page 7

Sen. Greenleaf raised only $78 in 2013. ➤ SD-6: KIMBERLY ROSE VS. TOMMY TOMLINSON

www.oldcityflowers.com 31 S. Third St. Philadelphia PA 19106

(215) 925-2882

In the 2010 redistricting, Republican Tommy Tomlinson’s 6th Senate District in Bucks County was redrawn, and it now favors a generic Democrat by 4 points. Tomlinson is being challenged by Kimberly Rose, a chiropractor and small-business owner who was first elected to public office as a Northampton Township supervisor in 2011. Tomlinson, 68, who has held the seat since 1995, is sitting on $117,000. He was expected to retire after this session, but he surely faced strong pressure to run again since his incumbency advantage offers Republicans their best chance of holding onto this seat in an increasingly liberal-leaning Bucks County. ➤ SD-40: SCOTT PARSONS VS. MARIO SCAVELLO

This seat moved from Allegheny County to Monroe County in the 2010 redistricting, and Republican Mario Scavello is considered the favorite to win it, with $284,000 in cash-on-hand. The makeup of this electorate favors Democrats by 1 point. That party has a good candidate in Scott Parsons, a Northampton County councilman. Parsons served for 10 years on Wind Gap Borough Council, and has experience running against Republicans in unfriendly terrain. In 2011, he won his rural conservative-leaning seat on Council against eccentric, well-funded, conservative incumbent Ron Angle during the high-water mark of Tea Party power. ➤ SD-12: RUTH DAMSKER VS. STEWART GREENLEAF

Stewart Greenleaf is another incumbent Republican who was expected to retire this year. Greenleaf, 74, has held this seat since 1979. Retirement rumors swirled as Greenleaf raised only $78 in 2013, but he still has a war chest of more than $235,000. The district favors a generic Republican by 1 point, Greenleaf has strong incumbency advantages and a moderate reputation that so far has withstood objections that he voted for all of Corbett’s education-slashing budgets and a de facto ban on privateinsurance coverage for abortions. Challenger Ruth Damsker served as a Montgomery County commissioner from 1999 to 2007. Local media tend to closely cover Montco politics, so Damsker has some name recognition. With Greenleaf laboring under the weight of Corbett’s negative coattails, she might just get lucky. ✚ Jon Geeting is co-founder of the Primary Colors website and writes about city and state politics and policy issues at This Old City, Next City and Keystone Politics. Contact him at jgeeting@gmail.com. 12 | P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R |

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GOOD ADVICE SAVES MONEY! Holtzman Tax & Financial Planning 2001 Fairmount Ave. 215-235-0200

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SPRING AHEAD CALENDAR OF EVENTS

K-Pop Fashion Show / Art After 5

3 •28 On Friday evenings at the Philadelphia Museum of Art, the museum’s Great Stair Hall becomes a performance space — on the first Friday of the month, it’s international music; other Fridays offer up jazz or local DJs. This Friday, it’s a modern take on the museum’s current “Treasures from Korea” exhibit. Student designers from the Art Institute’s fashion department will showcase runway looks, K-pop (Korean pop) performers will offer their musical stylings, and there will be a dance party, naturally. It’s a fun addition to the “After 5” lineup, which really serves to offer the message that the PMA can be so much more than a place for paintings. —Mikala Jamison Ñ Philadelphia Museum of Art, philamuseum.org/artafter5.

Comedysportz Blue Show

3•28 - 5•30 ComedySportz performs its unique variety of continued on adjacent page

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SHTICKING TOGETHER Nine female artists will convene in Philly on Saturday for a night of performances. Days before the show, they reflected on the state of the arts in Philly — for women, audiences and everyone.

by MIKALA JAMISON Inside the sunny Living Arts Dance Studio in Northern Liberties, an interview with six deeply creative artists pivots quickly into an impromptu, animated performance. A loud, teasing gasp escapes from Karen Getz when Sharon Geller says she’ll be performing alongside a man, her piano player, at Saturday’s 5,000 Women Festival. “Well, as long as he’s in drag,” Getz allows. There’s an explosion of laughter when Living Arts founder Jaquetta Colson says, quite seriously, that to her, the vulnerability of dancing on stage makes her feel naked — then adds, in jest, about the upcoming performance, “So, yeah, I’ll be naked.” That prompts the other women to proclaim that they, too, will be naked. Every few minutes, someone switches into an British accent, a Sarah Palin impression, an imitation of two sleazy dudes from New York. When asked to pose for a photo, Jennifer Blaine, the 5,000 Women Festival creator,

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dives across the laps of the other five women, to cheers and mock catcalls. The small room is crackling with energy. One can only imagine what these women will do with a much bigger room. Blaine, known in Philly for her sold-out run of Dirty Joke at last year’s Fringe Festival, has presented her 5,000 Women Festival twice before at Wesleyan University. Here, she pulled together eight other artists — across various disciplines and all but one from Philadelphia — to perform at the Ethical Humanist Society of Philadelphia. There’s Blaine and Geller, both comedic actresses; Colson, a dancer; Getz, who partners with Kelly Jennings to perform as the duo “Cecily and Gwendolyn’s Fanstastical …”; Naomi Ekperigin, a standup comedienne from New York; Susan Windle, a poet; Joy Mariama Smith, a performance artist; and Susan Perti-Dunn, a pianist and vocalist. Each will perform an act Saturday, with Blaine doing her shtick in between. Ekperigin, Smith and Perti-Dunn spoke to City Paper on the phone; the others met at Living Arts. The arts-and-performance landscape in Philly, both

They’ve got her back

5,000 Women Festival creator Jennifer Blaine gets cozy with (L-R) Susan Windle, Kelly Jennings, Karen Getz, Jaquetta Colson and Sharon Geller.

SPRING AHEAD CALENDAR OF EVENTS

PH O T O B Y N E AL S AN T O S continued from previous page

been amazing at finding a community of people that are connected by a particular look at the world.”

for women and in general, is clearly on the minds of the women as the festival approaches (as if it ever isn’t). A prevailing sense among them is that the arts scene here isn’t diversified enough — though it’s getting there. “We’re coming to the tipping point where artists are like, ‘We want variety. We have something to offer,’” Smith says. Colson agrees that the arts are “up and coming,” but not enough so. “There aren’t a lot of things besides the Fringe where people can get together and see all types of different work,” she says. Jennings, though, says she’s frustrated by the “up-andcoming” proclamations. “That’s what we say every year. If [Philly] is a roller coaster, I feel like the car hasn’t even hit the crest yet,” she says. When she and Getz traveled to seven other Fringe festivals around the country, it opened their eyes to the flaws in their home city’s arts offerings, she says. “Other artists said, ‘I will never come to Philadelphia. It’s impossible to work in. It’s not friendly.’ That left us in this really weird place because, ‘Wow, that’s my home,’ but I couldn’t disagree,” Jennings says. Geller says she’d heard producers discuss the strangeness of Philly audiences, how it’s a struggle to get them to come to shows. “When Philly is a major city, it’s amazing that we’re still talking about struggling to pull in an audience,” she says. Bringing in a diverse crowd and exposing people to several different mediums is a goal of the festival, says Blaine. “It’s about making a community rather than finding your community,” Getz adds. “Jen [Blaine] has always

The festival’s female focus brings up being a woman in the arts, and some of the accompanying challenges. Ekperigin says her standup experience in New York has landed her among mostly “a bunch of dudes.” “Any people saying it’s ‘even’ in comedy … you’re probably a white dude. I do think all the conversations about needing more women in comedy have these flare-ups, and it just shines a light on all these people who have been working the whole time,” she says. Perti-Dunn has had similar experiences in music. “All my female musician friends talk about sexism. You wear a pretty cocktail dress to a bar to play piano, you get hit on, they make rude comments. You have to work extra hard to break those stereotypes,” she says. Smith has a unique take on the gender aspect of the festival. For her, it’s more about the work that’s being created than the gender of the creators. “I actually am gender nonconforming. I was a person who was female assigned at birth, but I am not lumping myself in that category,” says Smith, while adding that she’s cool with female pronouns for this article. She’s also “OK with the [festival] frame being ‘5,000 Women,’ but it’s also important to say, ‘How are you defining ‘women?’” The discussion among the comediennes at Colson’s studio turns to women and humor. “There’s a conversation,” says Jennings. “I’ve seen it go from ‘Women aren’t funny,’ to ‘Oh, yes, women are totally funny,’ to now there’s this sort of split. … There are a handful of people on the SNL cast who have said women aren’t funny, then there’s another chunk who say, ‘Are you freaking crazy? That’s not true.’” “Why do we even engage in that conversation?” asks Getz. “It’s like, who fucking cares? We know that we’re funny. The more we engage in that conversation, [we] allow this divide to take off.” What do these women hope the audience will take away from the festival? “What I love is when people come up and say, ‘Wow, I didn’t know that was possible [with poetry],’” says Windle. “Sometimes we’re giving people something they need, but they don’t necessarily know they need.” “It’s a real gift that all of us are able to move people in different ways,” says Geller. The five other women in Colson’s studio nod silently, almost reverently, as Geller continues. “It’s not so easy,” she says, “to do what we do.” And with that, Blaine leaps to her feet and wraps Geller in a bear hug. (mikala@citypaper.net) 5,000 Women Festival, Sat., March 29, 8 p.m., $20. Ethical Humanist Society of Philadelphia, 1906 Rittenhouse Square, 267882-6234, 5000women.com.

improvisational games-as-sport every Saturday night, but on the last Friday of every month, they do “blue” — showbiz slang for adults-only — with uncensored language and content. The 20year-old troupe (many of whom, including Barrymore Awardwinning artistic director Dave Jadico, are accomplished theater performers, too) is hilarious in its PG-rated shows, and unrated freedom just unleashes more funny. —Mark Cofta Ñ Playground at the Adrienne, comedysportzphilly.com.

TEDx Philadelphia

3 •2 8 While the main stage TED conferences are kind of a hit-or-miss proposition (thumbs up, disease-fighters and tech innovators; boo to you, snake oil toy salesmen), this satellite event — which will be live-streamed and archived online — looks like a winner. The lineup includes fashion designer Dom Streater, poet Sonia Sanchez, music visionary Brian McTear and tons more people doing cool things around town. You might not know their names yet but that’s OK, because you’re going to this thing to learn. —Patrick Rapa Ñ Temple Performing Arts Center, tedxphilly.com.

Queer Media Activism Series

3 •2 9 -4 •2 2 Social change organization Philly Queer Media will further its mission of elevating LGBTQ voices in the media by hosting events, panels, screenings and performances all over the city. The month-long series has already begun, and the continued on page 22

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THE CONCEALED CITY

SPRING AHEAD CALENDAR OF EVENTS

continued from page 19

next event is this Saturday, but be sure to catch aerial circus artists Tangle Movement Arts’ (hey, they’re on the cover!) gravity-defying “Timelines,” April 3-5. Then don a tux and relive high school horrors with Dumpsta Players’ annual drag show, Prom Trash, on April 16. This time around, the weirdos win. —Julie Zeglen Ñ phillyqueermedia.com.

R. Buckminster Fuller Documentary / Yo La Tengo

4 • 4 FringeArts presents a unique “live documentary” about the life of futurist and inventor of the geodesic dome R. Buckminster Fuller. The Love Song of R. Buckminster Fuller follows the life of the inventor, who spent a chunk of his career at the University City Science Center. Excitingly, the documentary features live narration by filmmaker Sam Green and a live soundtrack provided by indie rock stars Yo La Tengo. That won’t be distracting. —Maggie Grabmeier

by LILLIAN SWANSON If you’re looking to discover the quiet spaces, the unassuming spots in our city of brash skyscrapers and big noise, then curl up with Searching for Philadelphia: The Concealed City. Architect David S. Traub has been scouting out these tiny parks, secret gardens, hidden courtyards and enchanting doorways for 32 years. His photos of 90 of his favorite spaces are included in this slender volume, published last year by Camino Books. “This book is a celebration of what’s still there,” Traub says, noting how his book differs from recent ones detailing what has vanished from the city. The images are in black and white, an approach he chose partly because he found it to be “more expressive of the nuances, of light, of shade and mood.” He wisely lets the photographs tell the story, providing just enough information so the reader can locate the spot and make his or her own pilgrimage. Armchair travelers are in for a treat, too. A sense of calm grows with each turn of the page as one quiet scene follows another. An ardent preservationist, Traub’s appreciation of the city — through an architect’s eye — is apparent. As he says

at Petruce et al. P H O T O BY N E A L SA N T O S

4 • 4 - 4 •1 2 Unmatched in

continued on page 26

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in the introduction: “Philadelphia is an old and historic city full of unsuspected treasures. To walk down the hidden, narrow lanes tucked away within its core is to experience an atmosphere of intimacy and charm of the sort one might travel to Europe to see. Though Philadelphia now enjoys a new skyline bristling with skyscrapers, far below these pinnacles lies what could be thought of as another city.” (lswanson@citypaper.net)

Stoked Jonathan Petruce manning the wood-fired oven

Philly Tech Week 2014

Ñ 2014.phillytechweek.com.

Traub will speak Thu., April 10, 6:30 p.m., free, The Philadelphia Center for Architecture, 1218 Arch St., 215-569-3186, philadelphiacfa.org.

PETRUCE ET AL.

Ñ FringeArts, fringearts.com.

its ubiquity by any other days-long, citywide event (except maybe for the Fringe, but we’ll leave that up to debate), Philly Tech Week returns for yet another round of science and tech discovery aimed at every type of person under the sun. The official festivities kick off with the celebrated massive Tetris game played on the face of the Cira Centre building. —Sameer Rao

Hidden City

by CAROLINE RUSSOCK When we checked in with Petruce et al. back in February, the 11th and Walnut location was looking pretty bare. But a little more than a month later, the space is prepped, polished and easily one of the season’s most anticipated new restaurants. Broken down into small, medium and large plates, there are plenty of nods to early spring on

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Jonathan and Justin Petruce’s wood-fired opening menu. Bitter radicchio is paired with richly caramelized gjetost cheese, brown butter and grapefruit; a springy onion soup with rabbit, nettles and proveleta; and a dry-aged rib eye for two (or three) is matched with maitake mushrooms and young lettuces. Over at the bar, general manager Tim Kweeder and beverage manager George Costa have assembled a concise drinks menu with a handful of cocktails both old school (think Benjamin Franklin’s Milk Punch) and new (Ponchos Lament with tequila, amaro Ramazzotti, agave nectar, cold-brewed coffee and mole bitters). Kweeder has hand-selected a wine list with natural red, white and sparkling (and sherry!) selections all available in 3- or 5ounce pours or by the bottle, all comfortably priced at $60 or less, including lesser-seen bottles like Beaujolais blanc, Arneis and fizzy Lambrusco. (caroline@citypaper.net) Petruce et al., 1121 Walnut St., 267-225-8232, petrucephilly.com.

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TJ KONG & THE ATOMIC BOMB

SPRING AHEAD CALENDAR OF EVENTS

continued from page 22

Philly Spring Cleanup

by A.D. AMOROSI

4 • 5 For the seventh time, the mayor’s asking us to give up one damn Saturday in the name of cleaning up after ourselves at specific sites all over town. But if guilt and self-pride aren’t enough to get you to pick up a broom or a trash bag, I suggest you do it for the anecdotes. Consider this: During Cleanup ’09, while picking up garbage along the Schuylkill River Trail, I found a hobo’s dildo. It was, you know, hauntingly gross. But also it’s an story I’ve been charming the ladies with ever since. Your hobo dildo is out there, people. Find it. —Patrick Rapa Ñ philadelphiastreets.com/ philly-spring-cleanup.

Though you should never assume that someone is inebriated, with Philadelphia’s skronky TJ Kong and the Atomic Bomb, absolute drunkenness could be a damned good guess about what’s going on. Like the booziest of music from Captain Beefheart and Tom Waits — to say nothing of singer Dan Bruskewicz’s newest tool in his kit bag, a cognac-soaked Van Morrison-like wail — TJ Kong’s brand of raw, stomping blues and searing, rural folk always goes down uneasily. A drunk tank’s wealth of dramatic disquiet has long been the allure of TJ’s wild live shows, as well as its previously released The Hinterlands EP, and its two brusque full-lengths, Idiots and Manufacturing Joy. But a funny thing happened on the way to TJ’s soon-tobe-released Kong EP that has made the band the one to watch this spring. They found vibrancy, nuance, space, an inner light. And more. “We’ve had a heartbeat, a central nervous system and a brain in this band for years,” says Bruskewicz. “But when we put together this EP we wanted to throw out all the old ideas we had about recording — about how our band is supposed to sound — and found real soul.”

Wasted Space TJ Kong and the Atomic Bomb plays Fri., April 18, 9:15 p.m., $10, with Ali Wadsworth and Pine Barons, Johnny Brenda’s, 1201 N. Frankford Ave., 215-739-9684, johnnybrendas.com. TJ Kong worked too quickly this time out to be anything but raw. They recorded six songs in one day at Kawari Studios with Bill Moriarty and Zach Goldstein — all live in one room, including vocal takes. “We now intend to preach that truth, that fire, to the entire world,” says Bruskewicz. Hallelujah. (a_amorosi@citypaper.net)

Fairmount Arts Crawl

4 • 6 Showcasing more than 50 artists at 20 different venues throughout the picturesque Fairmount neighborhood, the crawl promises impromptu ceramics workshops, outdoor music performances and the transformation of local restaurants into temporary galleries. This tree-lined community is a fine place to celebrate spring, get meals with friends and enjoy local art. —Larry Miller

PATTERN IS MOVEMENT Hazy Gaze Pattern Is Movement plays Thu., April 3, 8:30 p.m., $12, with Yellow Ostrich and Busses, Boot & Saddle, 1131 S. Broad St., 267-639-4528, bootandsaddlephilly.com. PHOTO BY PETER ENGLISH

Ñfairmountcdc.org.

Mural Arts @ 30 / Mural Trolley Tour

4• 6 This is the last day to catch PAFA’s “Beyond the Paint,” an educational exhibition merging physical art with geographical information and photographs of Philadelphia murals through time. Coinciding with the Mural continued on page 30

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by PATRICK RAPA It’s been about six years since the last Pattern Is Movement full-length and, judging by their groovy, poppy, freaky new self-titled piece of work, the Philly duo (Andrew Thiboldeaux and Chris Ward) hasn’t changed a bit. But maybe we have? Are we ready to accept that these two kinda burly, sorta

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nerdy dudes are not just the future but the present of Philly soul? Will we listen to the mopey vocals on “Wonderful” and the jolty mood-shifts on “Light of the World” and finally recognize that these guys are heirs to the Hall and Oates legacy? Can we, as a city, find it in our gaping, pothole hearts to embrace this weirdo band — one that can cover D’Angelo and Beyonce, but still earn the “experimental” tag — as our own? The thing is, we shouldn’t be trying to listen past the droney parts and the plinky parts and the hypnotic Nintendo-xylophone parts. We can love those parts, too. Listen to “Climb to Me.” Sway to the looping strings. Ride out the rushing cymbal whooshes. Bob your head to the melodious first verse, which appears like a rogue wave to knock us out of the haze and into straight-up pop. Then comes the chorus, an infectious vocal hook we want to sing along to, if only we knew the words. “Shiver she go” — is that what they’re saying? Maybe “Shiver sugar?” Doesn’t matter. It’s catchy. It fills our souls. We haven’t felt like this for so long. (pat@citypaper.net)

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Wayne Art Center

43 International Artists

March 21 - May 3, 2014 Reception: Friday, March 21 6:00 - 9:00 pm

413 Maplewood Ave Wayne, PA 19087 Karen Schulz, Three Squares Redux

artquiltelements.org

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Singing City presents

Wit & Whimsy Sunday, May 4 3 p.m. The Church of the Holy Trinity 1904 Walnut Street Philadelphia, PA Featuring William Schuman’s

Casey at the Bat Irving Fine’s

The Choral New Yorker Eric Whitacre’s

Leonardo Dreams of His Flying Machine With

Elizabeth Weigle, soprano Randall Scarlata, baritone Spiral Q Puppet Theater For Tickets and More Information www.singingcity.org or 267-519-5321 Uniting People Through Music Since 1948

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the usual drunken nerdouts. —Patrick Rapa

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April 11, 12, 13*, 18, & 19, 2014 Written by Bryony Lavery Directed by Jessica Eden Bye Stinson Produced by special arrangements with Dramatists Play Service Evenings at 8 PM – Tickets $15.00 *Matinee at 2 PM – Tickets $12.00 2cS b] [Obc`S bVS[Sa bVWa aV]e Wa <=B `SQ][[S\RSR T]` QVWZR`S\ BVWa Wa <=B bVS 2Wa\Sg []dWS

May 2, 3, 9, 10, 11*, 16, & 17, 2014 Written by Noel Coward Directed by Timothy P. Oskin Produced by special arrangements with Samuel French, Inc. Evenings at 8 PM – Tickets $15.00 *Matinee at 2 PM – Tickets $12.00

SUMMER CAMP 2014

Shakespeare AUGUST 18-22, 9 AM-2PM This year, under the instruction of Spotlight’s own professional actors and educators, campers age 10-17 will tackle the works and words of The Great Bard himself!

Registration for this year’s session is now open! Act now! •$10 family discount available for 2 or more siblings

Later Bits:

July 2014: Venus In Fur by David Ives. Directed by Cindy Nagle Walton

September 2014: Rumpelstiltskin by Juliet Grey Kelsey. Directed by Jessica Stinson

October 2014: Crossing Delancey

CALENDAR OF EVENTS

Ă‘philasciencefestival.org. continued from page 34

you see one, pick me up a copy. Not kidding. —Patrick Rapa

band: noisy, joyous, insistently young and wild, willing to sacrifice clarity and melody in the name of hot-blooded chaos. At the center is Meredith Graves, sing-shouting like the brat of the ball, like somebody didn’t take her seriously once and she’s been burning him in effigy ever since. How can you not love this band? (SafeSearch Mode: Off.) —Patrick Rapa

Ă‘recordstoreday.com.

Extreme Midget Wrestling

4 •21 Shake off your posthigh-holidays lethargy with an adrenaline-loaded head shot of awe-inspiring and outrageous displays of physical prowess. The Extreme Midget Wrestling Foundation (EMWF) bills its touring showcase as “the baddest little show on Earth.â€? Entertaining? Exploitative? Maybe you’ll go in with one opinion and walk out with another. —Sameer Rao

Ă‘First Unitarian Church, r5productions.com.

Philadelphia Science Festival

4 •25 -5 •3 By now you know the formula for this annual family-friendly fest, but this year the calendar looks like it’s got some more events for the parental units to go along with all those get-your-hands-dirty demonstrations for the kids. As in: a study in graveyard biology, a lecture on serial killers at the Mßtter, not to mention all

by Susan Sandler. Directed by Cindy Nagle Walton

Ă‘TLA, tlaphilly.com.

Miley Cyrus

4 •22 I just heard Miley

Ă‘Wells Fargo Center, wellsfargocenterphilly.com.

Perfect Pussy

4 •25 (SafeSearch Mode: On.) The Syracuse quintet with the NSFW name is absolutely everything you want in a punk

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4 •2 6 The East Passyunk Avenue Business Improvement District celebrates spring in South Philly under a big-top tent, serving signature dishes and drinks from 27 neighborhood restaurants, including Cantina Los Caballitos, Fuel, Ms. Goody Cupcake, Noord, Stogie Joe’s and Tre Scalini. Outside the tent, a free street festival will feature the April Showers Craft Show hosted by Crafty Balboa, vendors and live music by the Drive-Ins. VIP tickets boast an expanded bar with Pinnacle vodka and bai cocktails, plus valet parking. —Mark Cofta Ñvisiteastpassyunk.com.

Cher

4 •2 8

The Goddess of Pop (which Wikipedia assures me is a well-established nickname by which Cher is known) has decided to call her new and possibly final go-round the “Dressed continued on page 40

DUSTIN DOSKOCIL

spit on a fan. Oh yeah, well, I heard Miley spent five grand on a cake on the launch for her Bangerz tour. Check it: Miley just Instagram’d herself digging up Fred Phelps’ grave. Hey, TMZ says Miley has recently gotten into church burning. She just loves burning churches. You know, these days everybody’s dragging dolphins out of the ocean and beating them with Wiffle ball bats, but don’t forget Miley did it first. Oh crap, she’s totally Beibering right now. Miley Miley Miley. —Patrick Rapa

Flavors of the Avenue

Extreme Midget Wrestling

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INVITES YOU AND A GUEST TO SEE

FOR YOUR CHANCE TO WIN A TICKET FOR TWO TO SEE THE FILM, LOG ON TO WWW.CITYPAPER.NET/WIN

NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. Passes are good Monday-Thursdays, holidays excluded. This pass is the property of Exxodus Pictures. Screening passes are non-transferable. This ticket is not for resale. Winners of the prize pack will be chosen at random on a ďŹ rst come, ďŹ rst serve basis as supplies lasted. Check newspapers or web sites for show times. Please arrive early as seating is limited and not guaranteed. This ďŹ lm is rated PG-13.

IN SELECT THEATERS FRIDAY APRIL 4 www.jinnthemovie.com

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FRIDAY, APRIL 4, 2014,

Pulitzer Prize-winning composer John Harbison in a series of concerts and workshops celebrating Harbison’s music and his love of jazz, poetry and American folk song.

&( >;

Don’t miss these performances, with new music by Harbison and Uri Caine, James Primosch, Terell Stafford, Anna Weesner, Bobby Zankel and others.

with guest artist Terell Stafford, trumpet Rock Hall, Temple University 1715 N. Broad St., Philadelphia

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%(! >;

TICKETS $10 - $20 in advance, $15 - $25 at the door. For more information and to buy tickets, visit www.networkfornewmusic.org

with Julia Bentley, mezzo Sarah Joanne Davis, soprano and John Harbison, guest conductor Gould Hall The Curtis Institute of Music 1616 Locust St., Philadelphia

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getting its due here in the postmusic-industry apocalypse. Their 1991 classic Spiderland, influential as all hell, is getting the reissue treatment. Study up, kids. —Patrick Rapa

SPRING AHEAD CALENDAR OF EVENTS

continued from page 34

47@AB >3@A=< /@BA presents

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to Kill� tour. Wait a minute, we all cry out in unison, didn’t her longtime fashion guru and friend Bob Mackie abandon her on this one? Surely she won’t be able to match the oversize Mummeresque splendor that made her costumes a sensation in concerts past! Well, we should shut up and do some Googling because all the early reviews agree that this is Cher in her feathery, glittery finest. And since she’s pushing 70, don’t complain if she pads things out with movie clips and extended backupdancer sequences. She’s the Goddess of Pop. Who the hell are you? —Patrick Rapa

Equality Forum

5 •1-5 • 4 Now in its 21st iteration, the globally minded, Philadelphia-based Equality Forum celebrates the cultural and political legacy of queer, trans and bisexual communities in a series of panels, presentations and parties. In addition to awarding leadership prizes to politicians and businesses, the forum boasts the region’s largest LGBT street festival in the SundayOUT! event at the Piazza at Schmidt’s. —Larry Miller Ñequalityforum.com.

Slint Ă‘Wells Fargo Center, wellsfargocenterphilly.com.

5 •1 There’s a certain kind of music fan who’s really excited that this Pythagorean math-rock band is back together: the old kind. Kidding. But, seriously, it is kinda surprising that Slint — brilliant-but-nichey indie legends with a two-album heyday in the late ’80s/early ’90s — is now

Philadelphia International Children’s Festival

Ă‘Annenberg Center, annenbergcenter.org.

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The Both

5 •3 Separately, Aimee Mann and Ted Leo each have enough unmitigated sincerity and selfdeprecation to turn any listener into a sobbing, heart-on-sleeve fanatic. They also have plenty of fans who’ll attest to the power of their hook-heavy chronicles of everyday heroes. Together, Mann’s meaning-rich and subtlety-laden vocals meet Leo’s ecstatic belting and fuzzy guitars to create singalongs for pop-rock fans of all ages and dispositions. The Both hits Union Transfer in support of their self-titled debut. Learn all the lyrics ahead of time; it’ll come in handy. —Sameer Rao ÑUnion Transfer, utphilly.com.

The Foreign Exchange

5 •4 The hip-hop game was pretty crowded last year, continued on page 44

CHRISTIAN LANTRY

4 •30-5 • 4 The Annenberg Center’s 30th annual festival of performances for children brings theater and opera companies to West Philly’s UPenn campus for five days of shows. The lineup includes traditional stories like “The Ugly Ducklingâ€? and “The Tortoise and the Hareâ€? (told through sculpture, dance, theater and new technology by Lightwire Theater and Corbian Visual Arts and Dance) as well as a performance called We Shall Not Be Moved, a marriage of hip-hop and classical music by Opera Philadelphia and the Art Sanctuary’s Hip H’opera Project. All tickets include the outdoor Fun Zone, with handson activities like face painting and crafts. —Mark Cofta

Ă‘Union Transfer, utphilly.com.

The Both

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TO GO

Date: May 16-18, 2014 Location: Schuylkill Banks, Philadelphia, PA E: info@artintheopenphila.org W: www.artintheopenphila.org

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LIVE IN THE FREEDOM OF THE AUTHENTIC SELF

“I’ve been upset about something for over 10 years. Can you find inner peace?”

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Learn to access and follow the guidance of your Authentic Self.

APRIL 25-27 2014 ACE CONFERENCE CENTER, Philadelphia PA Information and registration at www.universityofsantamonica.edu/LYTS-philly.aspx

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Files,” “Busted” and “Awkward,” it’s sure to get all funny up in here. —Julie Zeglen

SPRING AHEAD CALENDAR OF EVENTS

ÑUnderground Arts, firstpersonarts.org.

continued from page 40

nd

31 South 42 Street Philadelphia, PA 19104

(215) 386-2929 www.westphillylock.com 24 HOUR EMERGENCY SERVICE Serving West Philadelphia Center City & Surrounding Areas Residential • Commercial Auto Locks Installed & Repaired Safes

so you’re forgiven if you slept on Love in Flying Colors. Also, Phonte and Nicolay are pretty much dancing away from hiphop into more soulful and upbeat territory. Hell, sometimes, they’re doing full-on R&B — with horns and grooves and everything. This might not be what got you into the American/Dutch duo in the first place, but it’s worth a listen. Besides, they’re guaranteed to do “Daykeeper” when they come to play. —Patrick Rapa ÑWorld Café Live, worldcafelive.com.

Art Star Craft Bazaar

5• 10-5• 11 We’ll share something with you, gentle reader — this annual fête of all things creative and crafty is what persuaded my visiting mother that Philadelphia was indeed a lovely and culturally vibrant place (she was wary, “Killadelphia,” and all). It helps that the bazaar falls on Mother’s Day weekend, and several gifts had been purchased. It’s truly a treasure to see hundreds of vendor tents against the springtime sparkle of the Delaware riverfront — you could easily lose a few hours and a few hundred dollars (in the best way). An artist’s sensibility isn’t at all necessary: With vendors offering everything from handmade lightswitch covers to graphic tees to opulent home goods, there’s something for all, plus music and food. —Mikala Jamison

ping, head-bobbing, vaguely Black Lily-ish, totally WXPN-inthe-1990s vibe from this acoustic L.A. sister act, but what do I know? They’re catchy and kinda soulful and classic, and if the pop world’s going to suddenly agree on something, hell, let it be Haim. —Patrick Rapa ÑTower Theater, thetowerphilly.com.

First Person Arts Grand Slam

5 •16 We all have stories, but these people have really, really good stories, and they’re really good at telling them. The winners from FPA’s past season of StorySlams will take to the stage once again to share all-new tales of triumph, hilarity and woe with the hope of earning the title of “Best Storyteller in Philadelphia” (no pressure). The theme won’t be released until the last StorySlam of the season on April 22, but with past ones like “Ex

Haim

5 •14 OMG, the next Fleet-

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5 •1 7 Should you be wondering, this is your chance to watch lurching, glittering, whirligig-bedecked machines plunge into a mud pit while people cheer. The derby, now in its eighth year, showcases human-powered vehicle floats that navigate street obstacles (like the pit) while displaying thematic design acumen. The derby’s all about wackiness, ingenuity and fun, with contest categories like “Best Costume” (ahh) and “Best Breakdown” (aww). It runs in conjunction with the music, food, crafts and art offered at the Trenton Avenue Arts Festival. Costumes, mud pits, vehicles falling apart — could Philly really be any more wonderfully weird? —Mikala Jamison ÑTrenton Avenue and Norris Street, kinetickensington.org.

John Legend

5 •2 0 Remember when continued on page 48

ÑGreat Plaza at Penn’s Landing, artstarcraftbazaar.com.

wood Mac, right? If you say so. I pick up more of a coffee-shop-

Kensington Kinetic Sculpture Derby

Haim

Eleven distinctive B&B’s in the heart of the Brandywine Valley Just minutes from world-class venues including Longwood Gardens, Winterthur, Brandywine River (“Wyeth”) Museum, wineries and fine dining

www.bvbb.com Mention this ad to receive a complimentary room upgrade at check-in at participating B&Bs (subject to availability)

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icepack By A.D. Amorosi

➤ GENERALLY, I LOOK FOR any old reason to write about one of Philly singer/songwriter Jay Laughlin’s bands — the glam-rocking Like a Fox, the power-popping Lenola or his current obsession, JJL. Alas, this is bad news. Last month, JJL’s practice studio was burned to a crisp in a fire and the power trio lost everything, including Laughlin’s cherished 1975 Les Paul Custom. Dag, I’m just a bad saxophone player and I know the value of the ’75 LPC. Anyway, JJL was shit-out-of-luck until the crew at Fountain Porter (South 10th Street off East Passyunk Avenue), Philadelphia Brewing Company and Noord eetcafe came to the rescue. Starting at 4 p.m. on March 31, Franklin Porter will host a $20-a-head benefit for JJL with prizes and raffles offered up by local businesses. All monies go to Laughlin’s hot trio with Brian Wilkinson and Pete Girgenti. Yay, charity. ➤ Was that really Rick Santorum’s name that passed by on the small screen when The Redemption of Henry Myers unfurled on the Hallmark Movie Channel the other night? Yup. The right-hanging dick from Pennsylvania is a big boss at the faith-based EchoLight Studios, the company behind Henry. I have plenty of faith, plenty of it, but not in anything Santorum hangs his hat upon. ➤ If you were looking for Rex 1516 or Jet Wine Bar’s operators Jill Weber and Evan Malone in the last few days, you needn’t have bothered. The prime pair went down to Mexico City to do some last-minute research for Café Ynez, their Point Breezy Mexican diner at 2025 Washington whose opening date (March 31) I gave you the exclusive on last week. ➤ Record Store Day is weeks away, and there will be plenty of vinyl items to fetishize. One Philly-based thing to look out for comes from local legendary punk/hardcore veteran guitarist Freddy Pompeii’s the Viletones. Though there is no track listing revealed as yet, Pompeii says that the new Viletones 7-inch EP will contain raging tracks, new and vintage, on bright orange vinyl. ➤ Every local theatergoer is so used to seeing actress/director/ producer Michelle Pauls doing things solely at her Walking Fish Theater in Port Fishington that it took a second to process her next move: An acting gig in Sam Shepard’s blackly comic Buried Child, taking place at the Iron Age Theatre on DeKalb Street in Norristown. Yay Pauls and yay Norristown. Along with news that Norristown’s ages-old Maennerchor — a German men’s-only social club — is looking to jump the battery with a standup comedy show on May 10, it looks like the town is hopping. ➤ More icepack at citypaper.net/nakedcity. (a_amorosi@citypaper.net) 52 | P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R |

ALL-CONSUMING ART: This Jamaican oil piece, Byron Johnson’s The Beast (2000), is one of the hundreds available at auction from Jonathan Demme’s collection. MATERIAL CULTURE

[ art auction ]

ENDING AN AFFAIR An Oscar-winning director lets go of his massive collection of self-taught art, and it’s all for us. By A.D. Amorosi n his essay in the catalog for the Philadelphia-based auction, “Direct From the Eye: The Jonathan Demme Collection of SelfTaught Art,” the Oscar-winning director talks about his experiences with Haitian art — first near his Manhattan apartment at the Haitian Corner, then on a 1986 trip to Port-au-Prince — as a transforming process. “I got gobbled up, literally consumed,” writes Demme of Haitian art, calling his experience with it “a love affair that will be with me forever.” Demme talks of his life of collecting self-taught art made in Haiti, America, Jamaica and Brazil, as an addiction. Now, after gathering 900-plus pieces over 30 years, he’s ready to let go. To that end, he chose Material Culture to find new homes for art that he’s lovingly collected but “hoarded away in storerooms where nobody got to see them.” Demme, who directed The Silence of the Lambs, Philadelphia and The Manchurian Candidate, will appear at Material Culture’s pre-auction party on Friday. That Demme came to Philly’s Material Culture is a testament to owner George Jevremovic’s expertise.

I

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Since 1980, Jevremovic has gathered crafts from around the globe, such as traditional, naturally dyed carpets, rare artisanmade sculptures and paintings. “I was trying to create a stage for pursuing and presenting … the categories that caught my eye and imagination,” says Jevremovic. He lived in Turkey in the late 1970s, where he says he was bitten by the “rug bug” and began collecting and dealing antique tribal and Oriental rugs before blossoming into all manner of artifacts from Asia, the Middle East, Africa and beyond. It was Material Culture’s spirit and knowledge that caught Demme’s curiosity when it became known that the director was looking to thin his collection. “Demme followed our auctions, particularly those with top-flight outsider art. From there, our curators (Jose Velaya and Wael Qattan) worked with him on the idea of a sale,” Jevremovic says. It’s to be an affordably priced auction with a large portion of its monies going to rebuilding Port-au-Prince’s Centre d’Art Cooperative, which was destroyed in a 2010 earthquake. “I think his eye is really his eye,” Jevremovic says, “Not the eye of someone taking instruction from an art or investment adviser.” (a_amorosi@citypaper.net)

Demme collected 900-plus pieces.

✚ Thu.-Sat., March 27-29, 10 a.m.-6 p.m. exhibition; Fri., March 28, 7 p.m. recep-

tion, free with RSVP; Sat.-Sun., March 29-30, 11 a.m. auction; Material Culture, 4700 Wissahickon Ave., 215-438-4700, materialculture.com.

[ skin stretched tight across a deep well of hurt ] [ album reviews ]

comictiming

➤ vermont | B55

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➤ isaiah rashad | B On his bad days it’s all “Bitches ain’t shit/ cops ain’t neither.” But on his good days he’ll enlist fellow TDE newbie SZA and it’s all “I got love for my niggas, my killers/ my dealers, my trickers, my bros/ I got love for my sister, my women/ my bitches, my strippers, my hos.” Which means he’s not just talented and bright, he’s real, which means he’s got soul, which means if Cilvia Demo (Top Dawg Entertainment) is the first time you hear Isaiah Rashad, you may come to care about what haunts his dreams. —Dotun Akintoye

➤ perfect pussy | B+ After not being able to penetrate it, I wanted to write off Say Yes to Love (Captured Tracks) as no new noise under the sun. Then, of all the things to hook me on a record, where trying to make out the words is usually an act of masochism, it was this line: “When did we all decide to give up? Since when do we say yes to love?” Suddenly their punk sound and fury and concision began to signify something more. —Dotun Akintoye

flickpick

What sort of strange, foreign images might the name Vermont evoke for the couple of urban German clubheads — Danilo Plessow and Marcus Worgull — who chose it to title their eponymous collaborative debut on Kompakt? In comparison to both producers’ typical house and techno output, this LP constitutes a substantial vacation, a sort of homespun pastoral exotica; full of twinkly synthesizer meanderings and modest maple-sugar melodies; gentle —K. Ross Hoffman and beatless, but not quite ambient.

➤ christina vantzou | B It’s odd to think of drones as “efficient,” but that’s the case with Christina Vantzou’s hauntingly cinematic No. 2 (Kranky). It’s less an album, more a classical composition — scored for strings, woodwinds, synthesizer, piano and, almost imperceptibly, voice — that functions similarly to the work of her best-known collaborator, Stars of the Lid’s Adam Wiltzie (who mixes here), only in miniature. Vantzou manages just as much emotional resonance and considerably more subtle harmonic movement and coloration in a fraction of the time. —K. Ross Hoffman

[ movie review ]

LE WEEK-END [ B+ ] MEG (LESLEY DUNCAN) and Nick (Jim Broadbent) have been married long

enough to know all of each other’s weak spots, and during what’s meant to be a revivifying few days in Paris they jab at them relentlessly. Although it’s played with the airy lightness of a comedy, Roger Michell and Hanif Kureishi’s film — the third, after The Mother and Venus, in what they’ve retroactively dubbed a trilogy on aging and sex — draws real blood, and not just metaphorically. The couple’s barbed banter starts off adorably prickly: He’s proud he found the hotel they stayed in during their honeymoon; she thinks it’s a dump and refuses to set foot inside. But before long it’s clear there’s real enmity between them. Meg is a ball of anger, a skin stretched tight across a deep well of hurt, and Nick is puppyish past the point where it’s pathetic, importuning her for sex and later begging for “just a sniff.” Duncan and Broadbent — as well as Jeff Goldblum, who comes on the scene later as an old friend with a new life — play Kureishi’s acid dialogue with briskness and brittleness. You feel the spite, and gradually you come to see that their tumultuousness is a sign of life; they’re still actively working out how they feel about each other, for worse and for better. Taking his cues from the French New Wave, and explicitly tipping his hat to Band of Outsiders on numerous occasions, Michell works fast and loose, in a limber style pointedly at odds with the snoozy languor of most late-life romances. Nick and Meg aren’t easy to get close to, even for the audience. Kureishi deliberately leaves us to reverse-engineer the origins of their long-standing grievances, as if the hurt has lingered after its source has vanished from memory. But it’s worth enjoying — and enduring — their company, if only for one of the most rapturous finales in recent memory. —Sam Adams

The film draws real blood.

THE FRENCH DISCONNECTION: A long-married couple revisits the site of their honeymoon only to rekindle old feuds in Le Week-End.

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By Sameer Rao

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COMEBACK KID ➤ HARI KONDABOLU, like all standup comedians, has a memorable “gig from hell” in his past. “Everyone was, like, 100 years old. Also, it was in a gymnasium of some sort,” he says. He had taken a gig for the Pennsylvania College of Optometry in Elkins Park last May. Little did he know it was for the class reunion. “I thought it was for optometry students, which is awkward enough when I don’t have any material about that,” Kondabolu continues. The 31-year-old comedian and writer, who performs at World Café Live April 2 in support of his first live album Waiting for 2042 (Kill Rock Stars), doesn’t thrive in such environments. His particular brand of comedy fits best on the other stages he’s played around Philly — jokes about ignorantly naive “where are you from” inquiries (he’s South Asian-American) and popular bands like Weezer tend to land better at UPenn or Haverford College than, well, an optometry-school reunion. Those universities, along with World Café Live (where he also did his first Philadelphia headlining gig last June), and his performance on FX’s nowdefunct Totally Biased with W. Kamau Bell, are also indicative of the kinds of audiences with whom Kondabolu tends to have the best rapport. In a time when comics and comedy culture are coming under increasing scrutiny for normalizing discriminatory attitudes, Kondabolu is evidence of comedy’s power to empower oppressed peoples. This mission was clear at his last WCL set, even if he felt, at times, that he wasn’t completely connecting with the audience — something he acknowledges was at least partly due to the then-impending Waiting for 2042 recording on the same tour. “I needed that set to be what it was because I was warming something up, but it comes at a cost of performance. When you’re performing for an audience in the future, you’re somewhat neglectful of the audience in front of you,” he laments. Will things change this time around? Kondabolu is optimistic. And given the increasing robustness of the Philadelphia comedy scene, a comic with such forward-thinking sensibilities promises to please. Unless you’re an elderly optometrist. (sameer.rao@citypaper.net) ✚ Wed., April 2, 8 p.m., $14-$16, World Café Live, 3025 Walnut St., 215-222-1400, worldcafelive.com.

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615 Bainbridge St. Philadelphia, PA 19147

is Celebrating Spring

with a newly remodeled space and expanded gallery hours

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movie

shorts

FILMS ARE GRADED BY CITY PAPER CRITICS A-F.

“A RAMBUNCTIOUS CAPER BURSTING AT THE SEAMS WITH QUICK WIT, FAMOUS FACES, AND WES ANDERSON’S PATENTED AESTHETIC DELIGHTS.” ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY

RALPH FIENNES F. MURRAY ABRAHAM MATHIEU AMALRIC ADRIEN BRODY WILLEM DAFOE JEFF GOLDBLUM HARVEY KEITEL JUDE LAW BILL MURRAY EDWARD NORTON SAOIRSE RONAN JASON SCHWARTZMAN LÉA SEYDOUX TILDA SWINTON TOM WILKINSON OWEN WILSON introducing TONY REVOLORI

Ernest & Celestine

✚ NEW ENEMY | AStirring together odd-bird hypersexual creep-outs with campier tropes straight from a Twilight Zone storyboard, French-Canadian director Denis Villeneuve’s latest is calibrated to stoke conversation — there are enough weird Internet-term-paper theories out there already to power a Tumblr for the remainder of 2014. But all that analysis might actually distract from Enemy’s biggest strengths, which sit above the surface. Shot in tandem with Villeneuve’s bleak, mechanical Prisoners, Enemy is run on a motor of mood, and absorbing its aesthetics is the key to unlocking its more furtive motives. Based on Portuguese novelist José Saramago’s The Double, the movie presents itself as a meat-and-potatoes doppelgänger tale, with humdrum schoolteacher Adam (Jake Gyllenhaal) discovering, via a film randomly recommended by a co-worker, a man who looks exactly like him. Anthony, also played by Gyllenhaal, is married with a pregnant wife (Sarah Gadon), but is involved in some highly questionable dealings outside the workplace. Adam, who lectures to his classes about totalitarian strategies to squelch individualism, doesn’t seem to fully grasp that he’s trapped in an anonymizing ego-masher of his own design, stuck doing the same things, in the same order, with the same exasperated girlfriend (Mélanie Laurent). Adam and Anthony’s eventual meeting, and the swift unraveling of comforts and expectations that comes as a result, can be sliced and diced into whatever shape the audience pleases. It’s Villeneuve’s determined pace, informed by a morose and elegant sense of style, that brings the whole thing a notch above X-Files exposition. —Drew Lazor (Wide release)

ERNEST & CELESTINE | ACombine children’s stories and animation, and the result is almost unlimited license to let the imagination run wild. So it must have been for Gabrielle Vincent, whose books about the friendship between a mouse and a bear form the basis of Stéphane Aubier, Vincent Patar and Benjamin Renner’s beguiling (in every sense) film. In this world, realized with the light touch of a pencil sketch, mice and bears live in parallel societies, each organized around the worth of their teeth: Mice like Célestine (voiced by Mackenzie Foy) prize incisors for their gnawing power, which allows them to carve whole cities out of the earth; bears like Ernest (Forest Whitaker) serve as their unwitting supplies, as mice pilfer the baby teeth left under their pillows to replace their own worn-out chompers. The plot, however, is hardly the thing: It’s both elusive and convoluted, as if we’re not meant to pay too much attention lest it pull our focus from the movie’s tactile textures. More than anything, it’s a pleasure to hang out in this hand-drawn world, especially with major studios like Disney turning their backs on the form. —Sam Adams (Ritz at the Bourse) LE WEEK-END | B+ See Sam Adams’ review on p. 53. (Ritz Five)

✚ CONTINUING BAD WORDS | CMaking his feature directorial debut, Jason Bateman plays an angry 40-year-old who takes advantage of a loophole in the rules of a national spelling bee to compete against

“ WES ANDERSON MAKES ‘ THE GRAND BUDAPEST HOTEL’

A FOUR-STAR DELIGHT.” LOS ANGELES TIMES Kenneth Turan

NOW PLAYING

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elementary students. The actor/director takes giddy delight in taunting young children, lobbing grenades of vitriol from behind his nice-guy facade. But Andrew Dodge’s script only has the one nasty trick up its sleeve, and before long watching Bateman act inappropriately loses its novelty and the film is never as transgressively funny as it thinks it is. There’s no real consistency to the story: Bateman’s character is obviously the smartest guy in the room, but resorts to underhanded tactics to rattle his competition — whatever it takes to shoehorn in another barb. Once his actual motivations are revealed, everything goes predictably squishy. The need for a weepy backstory is taken as a given; after spending 90 minutes reveling in someone’s bad behavior, after all, it’s important to stress that he didn’t mean it. —Shaun Brady (Wide release)

DIVERGENT | C The latest book-to-movie franchise encouraging impressionable YA readers to bone up on their small-arms skills in case an epic coup shreds the bindings of civilization, Divergent pretends it's built around a noble message: Never let anyone tell you who you are. That's a positive, if vague, bit of thinking everyone can relate to — which makes it so easy to shelf in favor of frillier stuff, like sweet dystopian makeout seshes and teens kicking each other in their pimple-free faces.

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Coming of age in a world separated by factions based on human virtues, young Tris (Shailene Woodley) leads a conflicted existence. Born into the "Abnegation" group, which is dedicated to aiding the less fortunate, she learns via government testing that she's an ultra-rare "Divergent" — too awesome to be filed into a single category, and therefore a threat to Jeanine (Kate Winslet), a cunning bureaucrat with a sensible/evil haircut. Aligning with dreamboat combat instructor Four (Theo James), Tris decides to hide who she really is, even though she knows it's a dangerous, and temporary, solution. You can't really fault Woodley, one of the best young actresses out there today, for picking paychecks over prestige when the opportunity to fill out a trilogy presented itself. Still, it's a drag seeing such talent channeled into trite gunfights and empty eyelash-batting, especially alongside Miles Teller, her equally promising co-star in The Spectacular Now. —DL (Wide release)

THE GRAND BUDAPEST HOTEL | AImagine a grade-school diorama on the subject of Nazi Germany and you’ll have something approaching Wes Anderson’s The Grand Budapest Hotel, a characteristically stylized fable set in a fictional country that nonetheless clearly addresses the spread of European fascism. It would be easy to recoil when you seen Ralph Fiennes’ M. Gustave, the fastidious hotel concierge, slapped into what looks an awful lot like a striped concentration-camp uniform, but it’s the flashes of unstylized reality that give the film its grit. Even in the 1930s, the innermost of the movie’s nested temporal frames, Gustave is a man out of time, more Belle Époque than between the wars. He has an eager pupil in new “lobby boy” Zero (Tony Revolori) and a wide range of elderly lovers.The death of one sets in motion a scuffle for her prized Vermeer-like canvas. As always, there are glorious contraptions aplenty. And the movie is a contraption itself, with a deadpan pace that’s part Mack Sennett and part Jean Vigo. In some ways, The

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Grand Budapest Hotel feels like a career summation, but it’s also a sign that Anderson has raised himself to a new plane, one where his distinctive aesthetics have greater emotional resonance. —SA (Ritz Five)

THE LUNCHBOX | B Perhaps the highest compliment that can be paid to writer/director Ritesh Batra is that The Lunchbox astutely avoids becoming the film that its synopsis threatens. What could have been a saccharine rom-com about a lonely widower and a neglected housewife brought together by a meet-cute contrivance is instead a contemplative drama about the inevitable passage of time. Irrfan Khan plays Saajan, a Mumbai accountant on the verge of retirement who orders the same mediocre lunch on a daily basis from a dabbawalla, India’s famed lunch-box delivery service. A mix-up leads to his receiving meals from Ila (Nimrat Kaur), a young woman attempting to regain her distracted husband’s attention via her home cooking. The mismatched pair strike up a correspondence through the daily delivery, leading to an almost-romance that both are initially wary of consummating. For Ila, this mystery man represents an escape from drudgery and provincialism, from a small apartment where her only companionship comes from the disembodied voice of her upstairs neighbor. For Saajan, it’s something even richer, a reconnection with his youth and his late wife. So much of their epistolary relationship aims toward “grumpy old man learns the true meaning of life” uplift or groaninducing May-December romance that the more melancholy and ambiguous results come as a refreshing surprise. —SB (Ritz East)

NYMPHOMANIAC: VOLUME I | B If the title weren’t warning enough, the “Next on …” teaser at the end of Nymphomaniac: Volume I makes it clear that this is only half a movie. (Volume II is available on demand, and will open on April 4.) In fact, it’s slightly less, a pared-down edition of the “international version,” trimmed largely — but not exclusively — for sexual content, itself a shadow of the five-and-a-half-hour director’s cut. So what the hell are you watching? That question may pop up more than once as Charlotte Gainsbourg’s Joe relates her life of sexual depravity to Stellan Skarsgard’s all-ears eunuch, flashing back to the discovery of her private parts — Lars Von Trier makes sure to

drop the c-bomb early and often — and through the years when Joe is incarnated, in every sense, by the lissome Stacy Martin. There’s plenty of sexual explicitness in the first part of Joe’s odyssey, as well as surprisingly lengthy disquisitions on the art of fly fishing, but Nymphomaniac isn’t pornographic for the simple reason that it’s not meant to excite its audience — that is, unless intellectual excitement counts. The real action isn’t between Joe’s legs but between her and her inquisitive listener, and the way she reshapes her own story in terms he can understand. It’s far funnier than you might expect and at least as frustrating, and it’s only the beginning. —SA (Ritz East)

VERONICA MARS | BAs the architect of the most successful film campaign in Kickstarter history, Veronica Mars creator Rob Thomas crowd-funded his way into a weird position. Should he use the jumbo theatrical platform to lure fresh eyes to his high-school noir universe, or pander to the small but voracious following responsible for getting the project made in the first place? Thomas has clearly locked into the latter plan of action, filling his full-length feature with in-jokes and Easter eggs only wellversed Mars freaks will appreciate. Smart-ass heroine Veronica (Kristen Bell), her private-eye days long since gone, has ditched shadowy Neptune, Calif., for the NYC law world. But just as she’s making headway with a highpowered firm, she’s drawn back to the West Coast by the murder of a Lana Del Rey-like pop star (Andrea Estella) — a crime for which old flame Logan (Jason Dohring) is prime suspect. Frustrating her family, friends and bland-ass boyfriend Piz (Chris Lowell) with her obsession over the case, Veronica must weigh the super-sexy danger of her old life against the stability of her new one. All told, the message Thomas seems keen on screaming is that the past always trumps the present, both within the movie’s four walls and outside them. It’s unlikely anything here will cultivate new fans, and both the mastermind and his loyal “marshmallows” seem to be at peace with that. —DL (Wide release)

[ movie shorts ]

Jiro Horikoshi has been the subject of controversy. Western film festival audiences saw Miyazaki romanticizing the Japanese World War II machine, as Jiro designed the prototype of the fighter plane used in the attack on Pearl Harbor; Japanese right-wingers took offense to Miyazaki’s pacifist lens in his depiction of their country’s fever for war in the 1930s and ’40s. These reactions, while not unreasonable, distract from the film’s essence — a hope-filled, wide-eyed portrait of a man who only wishes to build beautiful things. For Jiro (Joseph Gordon-Levitt), those beautiful things are airplanes. The Wind Rises follows Jiro through his childhood to his enrollment in engineering school, to his time working for an aircraft manufacturer and his romance with tuberculosis-stricken Naoko (Emily Blunt). The tale is handled with incredible poetic sensitivity and dulled sadness; we know how this story is going to end. But Jiro doesn’t. —Marc Snitzer (Ritz at the Bourse)

✚ SPECIAL SCREENINGS INTERNATIONAL HOUSE 3701 Chestnut St., 215-387-5125, ihousephilly.org. Flaherty on the Road: Program 1: Three selections connected to political memory from the traveling film series. Fri., March 28, 7 p.m., $9. Flaherty on the Road: Program 2: A cinematic exploration of visual perception. Sat., March 29, 5 p.m., $9. The Specialist (1999, France, 128 min.): A study of Adolf Eichmann constructed solely from archival footage. Screened as part of Flaherty on the Road. Sat., March 29, 8 p.m., $9. Mantrap (1926, U.S., 75 min.): Clara Bow plays a backwoods manicurist who falls for a city lawyer. Live musical accompaniment by Andrew Marsh and Kate Porter. Wed., April 2, 7 p.m., $9.

THE WIND RISES | AA vague tension permeates The Wind Rises, the final film directed by animation auteur and Studio Ghibli co-founder Hayao Miyazaki. How could it not? Since debuting in Japan this summer, this semi-fictionalized biopic of Japanese aircraft engineer

More on:

citypaper.net ✚ CHECK OUT MORE R E P E R T O R Y F I L M L I S T I N G S AT C I T Y PA P E R . N E T / M O V I E S .

events LISTINGS@CITYPAPER.NET | MARCH 27 - APRIL 2

[ don’t wait a moment too soon ]

HIPPIE HIPPIE SHAKE: Hair continues at Temple’s Tomlinson Theater through April 6. LUIS FERNANDO RODRIGUEZ

Events is our selective guide to what’s going on in the city this week. For comprehensive event listings, visit citypaper.net/events. IF YOU WANT TO BE LISTED: Submit information by email (listings@ citypaper.net) or enter it yourself at citypaper.net/submit-event with the following details: date, time, address of venue, telephone number and admission price. Incomplete submissions will not be considered, and listings information will not be accepted over the phone.

3.27 thursday [ theater ]

THE RISE AND FALL OF LITTLE VOICE $30-$40 | Through April 13, Walnut Street Theatre, 825 Walnut St., 215574-3550, walnutstreettheatre.org. While the Walnut Street Theatre’s main stage series presents familiar musicals and plays, its Independence Studio on 3, an intimate 80-

seat flexible black box stage, often introduces plays not seen before in Philadelphia. Such a gem is Jim Cartwright’s 1992 Olivier Award-winning comedy, filmed in 1998 but not often staged in the U.S. Veteran actor Dan Olmstead (a terrific Tricky Dick in Frost/Nixon at New City Stage Company earlier this season) makes his Walnut directing debut. It’s the story of a shy recluse (Ellie Mooney) who sings along to her late father’s old record collection alone in her room until her mother’s new beau recognizes her talent and tries to make her a star. The stellar cast also includes David Bardeen, Melissa Joy Hart, Anthony Lawton, Jered McLenigan and Denise Whelan. —Mark Cofta

[ theater ]

HAIR $10-$25 | Through April 6, Tomlinson Theater, Temple University, 1301 W. Norris St.,

215-204-1122, templetheaters. ticketleap.com. This “American Tribal-Love Rock Musical” brought exuberant hippies to Broadway in 1968, celebrating antiwar sentiments and the sexual revolution while also spawning huge pop hits like “Aquarius,” “Let the Sunshine In,” “Good Morning Starshine,” “Easy to be Hard,” and the title song (trust me, they were in heavy rotation on the radio when I was 8 years old). The counterculture commentary is both nostalgic and timely today (just insert the word “Occupy”), as are the vintage fashions recreated by designer Kabrina Feickert, though its famous nude scene is positively tame by contemporary standards. Temple University’s production, directed by M.F.A. in Directing graduate Brandon McShaffrey, swells with genuine youthful passion, since the performers are all

undergrad theater students. —Mark Cofta

[ theater ]

KISS ME, KATE $20 | Thu.-Sun., March 27-30, Merriam Theater, 250 S. Broad St., 212-717-6030, tickets.uarts.edu. Shakespeare’s The Taming of the Shrew became a hit musical-within-a-musical in 1948. Cole Porter’s Tony Award-winning adaptation features a stormy and steamy backstage romance between a divorced couple who are playing the scheming Petrucchio and defiant Kate in a company producing a musical version of the play. Their reunion and other backstage shenanigans are complicated by gangsters trying to collect a debt. Porter’s valentine to theater life features the familiar songs “Another Op’nin, Another Show,” “Too Darn Hot” and “Brush Up Your Shakespeare.” The

University of the Arts’ revival at the Merriam, directed by Charlie Gilbert, showcases the Ira Brind School of Theater Arts students specializing in musical performance. —Mark Cofta

[ singer-songwriter ]

DOUGLAS DARE $15 | Thu., March 27, 8:30 p.m., with Nils Frahm, First Unitarian Sanctuary, 2125 Chestnut St., 866468-7619, r5productions.com. Douglas Dare’s an anomaly on the Erased Tapes roster; a singer-songwriter on a label more commonly associated with the abstract ambient compositions of Olafur Arnalds and current tourmate Nils Frahm. But it makes some sense when you hear Whelm — his debut full-length, swiftly recorded between November and January, and due out in May. Though rooted in Dare’s poignant, often historically informed lyrics and dominated by his

simple, potent piano playing, Whelm’s songs communicate just as much through textural immersion and the sub-verbal expressiveness of his aching, James Blake-ian tenor. While the album’s title (meaning to engulf or submerge) suggests an unbearable, overpowering intensity, the prevailing sense is of riding out the waves of uncertainty; finding solace, even calm, within chaos — as Dare sings, mantra-like: “I am blessed in this unrest.” —K. Ross Hoffman

3.28 friday [ rock/pop ]

PEACH KELLI POP $8 | Fri., March 28, 7:30 p.m., with Tacocat, Marge and Ghostgum, Golden Tea House. If you look at that name and think we’re dealing with some

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TYPHOON $18 | Fri., March 28, 7:30 p.m., with Okkervil River, Lady Lamb the Beekeeper and Hundred Visions, Union Transfer, 1026 Spring Garden St., 215-232-2100, utphilly.com. Kyle Morton’s grandiose egotism might knock you flat at first contact, but wait a minute and that big, 11-strong band sound will pick you right back up again. The layers of instrumentation and interjections of sound, vocal (the female singers come in again and again like a dream you keep having, and keep wanting to have)

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transplant and medication, is the possible death that stalks White Lighter, the burden against which it struggles and triumphs. —Dotun Akintoye

[ metal/experimental ]

THE OCEAN $12-$14 | Fri., March 28, 6:30 p.m., with Scale the Summit, The Atlas Moth, Silver Snakes and Sadgiqacea, Voltage Lounge, 421 N. Seventh St., 215-821-7575, r5productions.com. After a string of heady concept records exploring the formation of the Earth (Precambrian) and early theories of the universe (Heliocentric and Anthropo-

centric), German metallers The Ocean finally get around to delving into their namesake element. Pelagial is an hour-long, melodramatically epic plunge into the depths, designed to progress further and further down as the music grows equivalently darker and denser. It’s at times ornately evocative, at others ridiculous and theatrical. Released in two D AV I D R O B I N S O N

[ rock ]

[ events ]

and otherwise, are irresistible. The disease that nearly killed Morton, and that he still lives with by means of a liver J A C LY N C A M PA N A R O

kind of All Girl Summer Fun Band-type deal — with perky guitar riffs, peppy beats and catchy choruses about falling in and out of love — you are not wrong. But there’s a little more drone in all the dreaminess, and these women (formerly from Ottawa, now totally L.A.) have some edge, too. You might find them at the beach, but I’d check the drag race first. —Patrick Rapa

versions, the instrumental edition emphasizes the intricate playing without singer Loïc Rossetti’s too-polished emoting; live, just steer clear of center stage and train your attention

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er self g n a r t I’M A s here my THE D FROM YON

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Award-winning writer & entertainer Mark Nadler leads us through the underground world of German Cabarets that flourished between the World Wars. The songs that came out of these cabarets expressed declarations of identity and resistance in the face of terror.

WIN TICKETS TO I’M A STRANGER HERE MYSELF AT THE PRINCE MUSIC THEATER! Enter to win a pair of tickets* by logging on to: www.citypaper.net/win

PrinceMusicTheater.org 215-893-1999 1412 CHESTNUT STREET | AVENUE OF THE ARTS |PHILADELPHIA, PA *NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. One entry per person or address. Winners will be chosen at random. Two tickets to I’m A Stranger Here Myself per each winner. Tickets cannot be exchanged, transferred or redeemed for cash, in whole or in part. We are not responsible if, for any reason, winner is unable to use his/her ticket in whole or in part. Void where prohibited by law. Participating sponsors, their employees and family members and their agencies are not eligible.

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[ events ]

thegrumpylibrarian Caitlin Goodman tells you what to read

❤ LOVED: Wally Lamb, She’s Come Undone ❤ LOVED: Jeannette Walls, The Silver Star ✖ HATED: Herman Koch, The Dinner ➤ Recommendation: Shelved in a subdivision of the Middlebrow Novel are the books with sufficient “literariness” to merit reviews in the Paper of Record, but also the accessible breeziness to survive chick-lit-ed book clubs. The Grumpy Librarian is going to call them “chardonnay literature,” because she is feeling condescending about both Wally Lamb and chardonnay. They read easy, but have enough literary nutrition to be consumed without the reader being marked as a genre weirdo or fan-fic lady. “Easy” does not describe the nastiness of literally every character and plotline in Herman Koch’s novel. Those wacky Dutch: You would think the home of so many supermodels and marijuana cafes would produce more relaxed and appealing best-sellers. Then again, the most famous Dutchman the GL can think of is Willem de Kooning (whose paintings are lots of things, but “relaxed” or “appealing” are not among them). In case “stay away from de Kooning exhibitions” was not exactly the advice you were hoping for from the Grumpy Librarian, she also has an honest-to-goodness book recommendation for you: Anne Tyler’s 1982 best-selling and multi-award-nominated Dinner at the Homesick Restaurant. It’s got flawed-but-likable female characters, dramatic stakes and enough poetic touches to justify it for the book club or the classroom. Lit-nerd bonus: It has not been made into a movie. (grumpylibrarian@citypaper.net) Send the Grumpy Librarian two books you like and one you hate and she’ll tell you what to read.

on guitarist Robin Staps’ fluid fretwork. —Shaun Brady

3.29 saturday [ jazz ]

BRADFORD-GJERSTAD QUARTET $15 | Sat., March 29, 8 p.m., Philadelphia Art Alliance, 251 S. 18th St., arsnovaworkshop.com. 60 | P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R |

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Cornetist Bobby Bradford was standing on the edge of the spotlight in 1954 when he was drafted into the Air Force and away from Ornette Coleman’s now-legendary quartet, where he was replaced by Don Cherry. The rest, as they say, is history, though Bradford has rarely been given credit for his role in it. He rejoined the Coleman Quartet in the early ’60s and went on to fruitful partnerships with fellow avant-gardists Eric Dolphy, John Carter and John

$25 | Sat., March 29, 8 and 10 p.m., Chris’ Jazz Café, 1421 Sansom St., 215-568-3131, chrisjazzcafe.com. Over the last two decades, tenor saxophonist Eric Alexander has carved out a niche for himself as a standard-bearer of the hard bop tradition. Impervious to the last half-century of evolution, Alexander remains untouched by the avant-garde, though he’s rarely one for Marsalis-style dogma. Instead, he chooses to let his horn do the talking, as he does on Friendly Fire, his recent quintet release co-led by altoist Vincent Herring. Recorded live at NYC club Smoke, the date is an old-fashioned cutting contest, vigorous and full-throated. The pair will don the gloves again at Chris’ on Saturday night. —Shaun Brady

3.30 sunday [ pop/world ]

JOHNNY CLEGG $28 | Sun., March 30, 8 p.m., with Jesse Clegg, World Café Live, 3025 Walnut St., 215-222-1400, worldcafelive.com.

BANNING EYRE

wednesday [ classical ]

SUSAN GRAHAM $24 | Wed., April 2, 8 p.m., Kimmel Center, 300 S. Broad St., 215-5698080, pcmsconcerts.org. Susan Graham is one of those fabulous, charismatic mezzo-sopranos who wraps her voice around you like a warm blanket. Her program for this

Celebr ating Americ an Craft Beer and Classi c Arcade Games

Philadelphia Chamber Music Society recital is comprised of music that seems designed to maximize that lovely quality, including luscious Tchaikovsky, Schubert and Duparc, as well the grandiose drama of Purcell, Berlioz and Liszt. And more — maybe even some Cole Porter. —Peter Burwasser

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Before Paul Simon attached himself to Ladysmith Black Mambazo and turned out the definitive world music record,

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music with bands Juluka and Savuka — mixed-race groups that celebrated Zulu tradition at a time when doing so got musicians thrown in prison or killed. Despite official repression and censorship of his music at home, Clegg and his cohorts managed to sell millions of records across the world. With his rocker son Jesse in the opening slot, he arrives in Philadelphia for a solo set that promises the same boundary-spanning ecstasy that made him beloved to millions and a threat to the Apartheid establishment. —Sameer Rao

BENJAMIN EALOVEGA

[ jazz ]

[ events ]

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Stevens’ Spontaneous Music Ensemble. For this visit he’ll co-lead an American/Norwegian quartet with fiery saxophonist Frode Gjerstad, featuring the inventive bassist Ingebrigt Haaker Flaten and prolific Chicago drummer Frank Rosaly. —Shaun Brady

SAUCONY CREEK NIGHT!-4/10 More on:

citypaper.net there was Johnny Clegg. The South African singer-songwriter/anthropologist pioneered the sound of African crossover

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EVENT LISTINGS, VISIT

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amusebouche By Adam Erace

YO, CUZ COUSIN’S GRUBHOUSE | 2340 S. Hemberger St., 215-334-3525, cousinsgrubhouse.com. Mon.-Fri., 7:30 a.m.-2 p.m.; Sat.-Sun., 8 a.m.-3 p.m. Breakfast, $2-$8.50; lunch, $2-$8. ➤ WHAT DID CHRIS RITTER know about West Passyunk before becoming partner and chef of Cousin’s Grubhouse? “I knew almost nothing,” he says. “Wait — I should remove the modifier. I knew nothing.” A reformed attorney who cooked at a Delran hoagie shop through school, Ritter legitimized his culinary ambitions with gigs at Rogues Gallery and Brauhaus Schmitz before recently landing at Grubhouse. Last year, his business partner, Jim Lord, took over the space that had housed a luncheonette since 1955. I grew up in this neighborhood, but can only remember eating at Cousin’s once. I don’t remember what I ate, but it definitely wasn’t fluffy buttermilk biscuits with tangy house-made tomato jam — a sidecar to the crunchy, panko-crusted chicken cutlet that was sunk like a surfboard in sand into a bowl of milk-shake-creamy grits. Scallions, hot sauce and schmaltz topped off the dish. Schmaltz isn’t exactly a pantry staple in this area, a mix of black, Asian and Italian households. But it’s selling, as are approachable breakfast and lunch upgrades like tender pancakes with a halo of coconut-milk caramel, pulled pork sandwiches tossed in a root-beer barbecue sauce, an Elvis Melt with bacon powdered sugar, a Cuban sandwich — all foodie baby steps for a bacon, egg and cheese crowd. A polished counter runs down the front of the space, next to a pastry case stocked with baker Susan Wierzbicki’s brownies, bars and cupcakes lathered with Bailey’s frosting. Thick-knuckled guys in hoodies nibble at her raspberry linzer cookies Though the food is terrific and the prices dirt cheap, Grubhouse is almost more important for what it represents for this neighborhood, where the nearby corners host Philip’s Steaks, Dati’s Water Ice and the kind of nail salons with Gina Gershon-in-Cocktail faces emblazoned on the signs and windows. Things are percolating here in South Philly’s Wild West, thanks to businesses like Miss Rachel’s Pantry, the Taproom on 19th, Café con Chocolate and JR’s, a bar where I used to drink Captain and Cokes when I was in high school and that now does underground punk shows.Cousin’s Grubhouse has joined this cohort, forging unexplored territory in the Red Gravy Belt. (adam.erace@citypaper.net) 62 | P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R |

SEASONAL SIPPING: A trio of colorful new cocktails on the menu at Lolita. NEAL SANTOS

[ previews ]

OPEN SEASON Spring is on its way and that means a very exciting crop of restaurant openings. By Caroline Russock ulinarily speaking, there’s a whole lot to look forward to in the city this spring. There’s the reopening of loads of local farmers markets with their early spring offerings of rhubarb, asparagus and spring peas; the dusting off of outdoor furniture for al fresco More on: dining (and drinking) and perhaps the most exciting thing on the horizon — a new crop of highly anticipated restaurant openings. Here’s a quick look at a handful that are happening this season.

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citypaper.net

➤ LOLITA 106 S. 13TH ST., 215-546-7100, LOLITABYOB.COM | REOPENS MID APRIL

Lolita, the Mexican BYO-tequila spot of Marcie Turney and Valerie Safran’s 13th Street empire, closed its doors a few months back so the owners could embark on a massive redesign. Safran and Turney refer to Lolita — now 10 years old — as the baby of their restaurant family and they look back on it fondly, almost like parents. As young restaurateurs, they started out with

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no liquor license, no reservations and a strictly cash-only policy. When they reopen Lolita in mid -April, all of that is going to change. In addition to applying a fresh coat of paint on the warm, exposed-brick walls, they’ve installed a polished concrete bar and open kitchen with rustic black-and-white chevron detailing and shiny, lime-green tile work. The bar, fully stocked with tons of tequilas, blends into the kitchen-front seating. The energy from the kitchen, combined with flowing margaritas, lends a fun, you-justwalked-into-the-party kind of feel. “I want all of our restaurants to feel like that,” explains Safran. “And Lolita should be easy because there’s tequila involved.” When crafting the cocktail menu with MORE FOOD AND beverage director Terence Lewis, they took DRINK COVERAGE classic margaritas and the mixers that AT C I T Y P A P E R . N E T / were so loved from Lolita’s BYOT days and M E A LT I C K E T. added Turney’s love for fresh herbs. Taking inspiration from the rainbow of aguas frescas that they sampled in Mexico (“Can we just add a little liquor to those?” wondered Safran), the new drinks menu includes killer tequila cocktails like the Mamacita Agria with white tequila, fresh grapefruit and a scoop of beet-ginger sorbet, and a green margarita with cilantro, jalapeño and kale juice. Turney and Safran took an R&D trip to Mexico, something they certainly wouldn’t have been able to do back in 1994. In their travels to Oaxaca and Mexico City they focused on street food, the >>> continued on adjacent page

[ food & drink ]

✚ Open Season <<< continued from previous page

After two weeks of eating street meat, Turney opted to install a trompo, a vertical roasting spit. jumping-off point for the new menu. After two weeks of eating street meat, Turney opted to install a trompo, a vertical roasting spit for tacos al pastor. (They’ll also use the spit for the occasional and not-so-Mexican Korean spiced skirt steak with perilla and ssamjang.) Another Mexican takeaway is the vibrant enamelglazed Cinsa dishes that they imported. Cinsa is most often associated with campsite cooking, but Safran and Turney opted for more vibrant shades of green for Lolita. After putting the finishing touches on Little Nonna’s last fall, with its distinctly grandma’s-sitting-room vibe, they were going for something a little more rough around the edges at Lolita. “Little Nonna’s is cutesy and I love it,” says Safran. “Lolita grew up and she’s a bad, bad girl,” Turney says with a laugh. ➤ ABE FISHER AND DIZENGOFF, 1605-1627 SANSOM ST. | OPENS LATE MAY

Mike Solomonov and Steve Cook have two openings on the books for this spring in adjacent spaces on the 1600 block of Sansom Street. Cook is calling Dizengoff, a 25seat counter-service hummusiya, a little sister to Zahav. It’s their take on an Israeli breakfast-and-lunch spot specializing in a simple menu of hummus with accompaniments like fresh salads, pickled vegetables and fresh-baked pitas. “The best places make one big batch of hummus and when the chickpeas run out it’s over and they shut the door,” Cook says, likening it to the policy at his chicken and doughnut chain, Federal Donuts. Along with the gorgeous hummus that Solomonov pioneered at Zahav (Dizengoff will serve three or four varieties daily), the vegetable sides will be seasonal. “Our idea is to have the farmer back the truck up to the restaurant and whatever happens to be good that week, we’ll make a salad out of it,” Cook explains. Beer and frozen nonalcoholic drinks are also on the menu. And that name? It comes from a main drag in Tel Aviv named for that city’s first mayor, Meir Dizengoff. Cook says that they’re going for a hip vibe that is reminiscent of Israel in the ’70s and ’80s. And then there’s Abe Fisher, the new spot right next door. The name comes from a combination of names in Cook’s and Solomonov’s families. And then Cook gives a little more insight into the concept: “Abe Fisher is this mythical guy, a 20th-century American Jewish guy who drove Cadillacs, drank martinis and wore hats.” “At Zahav, the food is inspired by Jewish food in Israel. At Abe Fisher, it’s the inverse of that — Jewish food >>> continued on page 64

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[ food & drink ]

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Abe Fisher is this mythical guy, a 20thcentury American Jewish guy who drove Cadillacs, drank martinis and wore hats. inspired by everywhere but Israel. For the most part Europe, New York, Montreal, places that have strong 19th- and 20th-century Jewish populations that have created their own traditions within the diaspora,” Cook says. There are plans for upscale reimaginings of deli staples like Montreal-style smoked short ribs, corned pork belly and a borscht-inspired beet tartare. Open for dinner with a full bar and twice the seating capacity of neighboring Dizengoff, Abe Fisher is going to offer prix fixe menus as well as a la carte options. ➤ A.KITCHEN 135 S. 18TH ST., 215-825-7030, AKITCHENPHILLY.COM | OPEN NOW

Eli Kulp, Ellen Yin and the High Street Hospitality Group have taken over the dining options at the AKA hotel. Kulp and chef de cuisine John Nodler have revamped the dinner menu with a one-two-three setup of plates designed to make for a pick-and-choose-yourown-adventure “elemental American” dining experience. Plates are accessible and high-minded all at once with uni-topped rice cakes with smoked pork jowl and mustard, pork cutlet with mustard greens, and caper aioli and Dover sole with lime-brown butter sauce. Kulp says that a.kitchen will be introducing breakfast and lunch menus during the first week of April with morning offerings coming in the form of fresh-baked pastries and breads from High Street on Market. Lunch will incorporate elements from the dinner menu as well as the hearty and smart sandwiches and salads similar to what he’s been doing at High Street. A new raw-bar menu is going to be put in place at neighboring a.bar a little later in the spring.

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HOW WE DO IT: The restaurants, bars and markets listed in this section rotate every week and are compiled by City Paper editorial staff. If you have suggestions or corrections,email restaurants@citypaper.net.

✚ BAKERY BAKER’S JAR We’re happy to say that the cupcake’s moment in the sun has passed. The latest addition to the portable dessert scene is sweets in jars, particularly single-serving cakes and pies tucked into useful/reusable/totally adorable Mason jars. Avery Goldman has opened Philadelphia’s premier jar-centric bakery, Baker’s Jar, in a sunny storefront at 16th and Bainbridge. She’s lined up a solid selection of desserts with a comfortingly nostalgic feel, including a sprinklesstudded birthday cake layered with vanilla frosting and a gooey dulce de leche brownie. Open Tue.-Fri., 9 a.m.-6 p.m.; Sat., 9 a.m.-5 p.m.; Sun., 9 a.m.-4 p.m. 625 S. 16th St., 267-519-0609, bakersjarphilly.com.

✚ BAR SANCHO PISTOLA’S Go-to Center City craft beer mecca Jose Pistola’s has seriously upped its food game with the addition of chef Adan Trinidad, and now Joe Gunn and Casey Parker are taking the operation north with a new Fishtown outpost, Sancho Pistola’s. Sancho’s got the same killer beer list plus a few other exciting features. First up is a good lookin’ menu of tequila- and mezcal-heavy cocktails, including the Borro Gordo with tequila, house-infused cinnamon whiskey, agave and pineapple. Trinidad’s menu at Sancho’s is full of unexpected and totally exciting Mexican-inspired bar fare like pickled strawberry guacamole and a pork porterhouse with mole verde. Mon.-Fri., 4 p.m.-2 a.m.; Sat.-Sun., 11 a.m.-2 a.m. 19 W. Girard Ave., 267-324-3530, sanchopistolas.com.

➤ TREEMONT 225 S. 15TH ST. | OPENS MID APRIL

✚ BARBECUE

Chip Roman’s mini-empire has been building quietly in the city — Ela in Queen Village with Jason Cichonski and Mica in Chestnut Hill — and outside with Blackfish and Tradestone Café and Confections in Conshohocken. For his latest, Treemont, he’s moving into Rittenhouse digs, opening up shop in the swanky Aria condo building on the corner of 15th and Locust. The bilevel space is completely redesigned with handsome woodwork, including a gorgeous walnut-topped bar and lovely second-floor counter seating. As far as the menu goes, Roman says to expect small plates designed for sharing, plus a full bar. “We’re not trying to reinvent the wheel here,” Roman explains, meaning that guests can expect seafood-centric fare similar to what Roman’s been doing at Blackfish and Mica. (caroline@citypaper.net)

DICKEY’S BARBECUE

M A R C H 2 7 - A P R I L 2 , 2 0 1 4 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T

The newest member of Philadelphia’s burgeoning barbecue scene is Dickey’s, a Texas-based chain that recently opened on South Street. Dickey’s is smoking pork, brisket and ribs over hickory in-house for up to 14 hours before slicing, pulling and serving with a selection of goodlooking sides. Open daily 11 a.m.-9 p.m. 650 South St., 267-273-0364, dickeys.com.

✚ CAFE TRADESTONE CAFE Le Bec-Fin alums Chip Roman and Fred Ortega have been handcrafting some of the most gorgeous chocolates in town for a while now and lately they’ve expanded into the cafe game. Tradestone Cafe, located

next door to Roman’s Blackfish restaurant, is brewing coffee from La Colombe and serving a short, sweet and smart menu of sandwiches, salads and soups. Roman and Ortega’s Tradestone Confections chocolates are also available at the cafe. Sun.-Thu., 7 a.m.-8 p.m.; Fri.-Sat., 7 a.m.-9 p.m. 117 Fayette St., Conshohocken, 484-368-3096, tradestonecafe.com.

✚ CHEESESTEAKS ISHKABIBBLE’S II A few weeks back, Ishkabibbles, the 35-year-old, pink-and-yellowstriped South Street cheesesteak institution, opened an additional location just a few blocks west of the original. The spacious new spot features seating for 60, plus the same menu of late-night steaks, Spanish fries and the signature lemonadeand-grape-drink, the “Gremlin.” Sun.-Thu., 9 a.m.-11 p.m.; Fri.-Sat., 9 a.m.-3 a.m. 517 South St., 215922-0494, philacheesesteak.com.

✚ MEXICAN TORTAS FRONTERA Rick Bayless, Top Chef Master/ PBS celeb/booster of all things Mexican, makes his Philadelphia debut with Tortas Frontera, a Mexican quick-serve on Penn’s campus. The affordable offerings are geared to the college crowd with a smart lineup of pressed tortas, soups, flatbreads, top-your-own guac bar and breakfast options. Bayless and company have brought in local roasters Rival Bros., who are working on a custom blend for both drip coffee and espresso drinks. Mon.Thu., 8 a.m.-10 p.m.; Fri., 8 a.m.-8 p.m.; Sat., 11 a.m.-4 p.m.; Sun., 11 a.m.-10 p.m. 3601 Locust Walk.

✚ STEAKHOUSE THE STRIP JOINT SoWe, the GradHo gastropub at the corner of 22nd and Carpenter, has been transformed into The Strip Joint, a new take on a steak house — offering up full steak dinners for less than $20. Billing itself as an alternative to the pricier temples of tenderloin in the city, The Strip Joint has three steak options (steak maison, a.k.a. strip loin; New York strip, and filet mignon) all served with frites and a salad for $19. Reimagined steak-house sides like creamed spinach and kale and sauteed wild mushrooms all are served long after other Center City steak houses have turned off their grills. Tue.-Thu., 4 p.m.-12 a.m.; Fri., 11 a.m.-2 a.m.; Sat., 10 a.m.-2 a.m.; Sun., 10 a.m.-12 a.m. 918 S. 22nd St., 215-545-5790, phillystripjoint.com.

C I T Y PA P E R . N E T | M A R C H 2 7 - A P R I L 2 , 2 0 1 4 | P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R |

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Levittown ROYAL PARK APTS. NEWLY RENOVATED 2 BR = $895 Heat and hot water included. Walking distance to schools, shopping and transportation. Call now 215-245-1187

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WE BUY Buying all cars up to $2000. CASH Bad engines or Trans. Junk cars to $500. 609-977-5337

* Unwanted Vehicles * Wreck/Flood Damaged * Non-running * Free Towing IF IT HAS WHEELS, WE BUY IT!!!

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Call About our $999 2 Bedroom Special

THRIFT STORE MY TREASURES Beautiful Home Cleaning Family Owned & Operated for 15 Yrs Residential & Small Commercial Reasonable Rates & Senior Discounts Free Estimates. Stacey, 267-934-3259

Donations Wanted Your SPRING CLEANING CAN HELP FIGHT CANCER! Call for convenient pick up of your unwanted clothing, housewares & furniture. Raising funds for Fox Chase Cancer Center, Fein Chapter for 20+ years. Call 215.842.1638 Receipt provided.

SALE 25%-50% OFF 4025 Veterans Hwy, Levittown (215) 943-7496 Hours: 10am-4pm Every Day

Real Estate Rentals Residence Sharing BURLINGTON TWP. Own bathroom. Share entire single family home. Parking, yard. 856-236-4175

Health Careers NURSE MDS COORDINATOR Merwick Care & Rehabilitation, a 200 bed facility in Middlesex County, NJ is currently seeking experienced RN MDS Coordinator. If qualified and interested please send your resume to tdurand@windsorhc.com

Hospitality FRONT DESK CLERK- F/T 2nd or 3rd shift. Apply in person at Days Inn, 625 N Main St, Doylestown PA 18901

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 Private Entrances  Fitness Center

215-375-7688 Ask About Our No Security Deposit Alternative www.westovercompanies.com

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Feasterville CROFTWOOD APTS/ CHALET VILLAGE 2 BR, 1½ BA, LR & DR, Kitchen, all appliances, storage closet, fenced in yard, off street park. $1,250 mo. Call 215-639-2991 or 215-651-8525

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` 1 and 2 bedrooms apts ` New Kitchens, bath, flooring & more ` Most utilities included ` Pet welcome, call for restrictions ` Neshaminy School District 1-888-463-0424 www.westovercompanies.com SOUDERTON: 1 BR from $735. Includes Heat and Hotwater. Onsite laundry. No pets. Non smoking. Good credit req’d. Senior Citizen Discount. Call 215-723-6333 YARDLEY Studio Bell Avenue 2nd Floor, Large Yard. $750/mo. Call: 215-579-1773

Rooms for Rent

Homes for Rent

Apartments for Rent ONE BEDROOM SPECIAL! Á Rent Starts at $875! Á Free Heat ËFree Water Á No Application Fee! Á Reduced Security

Bensalem BUCKS MEADOW APTS 1, 2 & 3 BR Apts. Starting at $730 mo. Apply now and get ½ off 1st month Many Amenities. Call 215-245-1133

Call Today! 215.355.3048

Bensalem remodeled 1BR $799 • 2BR $899 separate entrances balcony dishwasher c/a heat pets ok 215-638-8220

Hatboro/Horsham Penthouse Apt 1500 sq. ft. 2BR, 2 bath with den. $1325. @ 50 S. Penn Street. Call for detail at 215.317.3059

BRISTOL 1BR, heat & hotwater included, washer/dryer avail. No pets, $795 month. Call 215-669-2039

for your free quote!!

SOUTHAMPTON Private BA & LR. Shared Kitchen. No Pets. $645+ mo. & Security deposit. Call 215-364-7443

Langhorne Beautiful large 1 BR, washer, dryer, wall to wall, park like setting. Credit check. 215-868-8162

Apartments at Rosewood Warminster 1 BR: $880, 2 BR: $980 Both include heat & hot water. Bright, sunny apts, great views! FREE Pool Membership Pets Welcome. Call 215-675-6389

Call 609-586-3225 today

1 Bedrooms Only! Must sign lease by 3/31/14

Townhouses for Rent

Help Wanted WAREHOUSE PERSON Must be able to mutitask & have tools. Call 215-943-4143.

FIRST MONTH FREE w/13 Month Lease

LANGHORNE 1 BR, Washer & Dryer avail. Private parking, $825 mo. No Pets. 215-962-0098; 215-968-7717

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LEVITTOWN 2BR, large BA. Kitchen w/small kitchen nook. LR,closet space. Patio. Private entrance. Lg driveway. $1000/mo. 215-943-5703

Commercial PIZZERIA FOR SALE Bucks County. Asking only $15,000 $3,000/mo. rent. 267-221-2881

Mobile Homes New & Pre-owned Mobile Homes in Bensalem. Please Call Terry’s Mobile Homes 215-639-2422

CASH 4 JUNKERS

Trucks µ Cars µ Commercial vehicles On My Way Towing 215-920-3399

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CA$H TODAY Buy µ Sell µ Trade Cycles & ATVs. 267-798-6999 www.eastcoastcycle.com

Pet and Supplies Pleasure Horses

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Attractive 15 year old thoroghbred Loves trails & cross county. Just learning to jump $2500 215-794-8135

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Five Stall Barn. 2 stalls for rent Adult only. Board $475 monthly or barn help for reduced board. 215-794-8135

ADVERTISING SALES - DIGITAL ACCOUNT MANAGER

lulueightball By Emily Flake

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If you fit the above requirements and are anxious to join a top-notch company, send us your resume

today!

30 South 15th Street, 14th Floor. Philadelphia, PA 19102 Attention: Human Resources |

Email: jobs@citypaper.net |

Fax: 215-875-1816

[ i love you, i hate you ] To place your FREE ad (100 word limit) ➤ email lovehate@citypaper.net BITCH DO YOU EVER SHUT UP! Yo Cunt! Do you ever shut up? I mean seriously no one cares about your cat that hates you. Even your boyfriend tells you to quiet down so put a fucking sock in it. No one gives a shit about your inbred family putting your retard money in danger and I damn sure don’t wanna hear it. Sick of the dryer not bending to your will? Move the fuck out! Tired of feeling unwelcome in someone else’s house? Move the fuck out. And bitching endlessly about me when I don’t even speak to you? You guessed it FUCKNUT, move the fuck out!

dead things would go back to normal and I would be happy again.

EMBARRASSED FOR YOU I had the unfortunate experience of dining at the table next to you this morning for brunch at North 3rd. I couldn’t help but overhear you and your friends belittling children who compete in spelling bees as “losers.” To you, I would recommend the movie Spellbound. The children who compete in spelling bees often enthusiastically dedicate themselves to years

divorce me...leave me and our child with nothing.... kiss my ASS..bitch...wanna really know what i did with all your yearbooks?....well when channel 10 had there “shredding event”..i took shit that needed to be shredded...and you know what....i threw your yearbooks right in!!!

FINALLY I hope that you read this and contact one of your buddies to ask them...did she write this about me.... ha, ha...yes I did write this about you...I hate your fat

I need to express my heartfelt love to the woman who mindlessly just drove her minivan into me as I was riding my bike down Columbus Blvd. I love you, and God loves you. We loved you when you made a right turn into me and kept going as you listened to my bike tires screeching and me yelling as I slid under your white soccer mommobile. We loved you while you looked back in your rearview mirror at me laying on the blacktop. We loved you still when you came to a stop a block away and had a chance to turn back and do the right thing. We love you through all the self-hate that you must feel. We loved you even before that, the night before when you took your ugly face and sank it down on that homeless man-dick to suck the diseased cum out of his stank crotch. And we love you even now, as you read this, pulling the half-burned Kool 100 from your lips to put some more of that magenta lipstick you bought on the clearance stand at Walmart over the growing herpetic canker sore on the grotesque lips covering your half-toothed mouth. Yes, even now, as you look with growing self-loathing into your coal-black, prematurely wrinkled eyes, we love you. And we sincerely hope that one day you will forgive yourself and look with enough love onto yourself that you can stop recklessly plowing through life and taking your self-hate out on innocents around you. We really love you!

I WAS IN LOVE I remember this day like it was the other day, I saw you and you saw me and we connected like no other. I couldn’t wait to see what was going to happen next then you kissed me ever so gently on my lips and I kissed you back amazed that this was happening and I didn’t want to take advantage of the situation so I leaned back and let nature take its course of bliss and excitement! I love you so much and I can’t wait to feel you again, I was in love with being in love and having you all to myself, but soon realized that I wasn’t the only one loving you, the only one accepting you, now you want me back eat a dick and choke! I can’t wait until I am able to tell you to your face!

BLEEDING LOVE

DIE BITCH I am a nice woman. I have a kind heart. I *had* a best friend with the same. And one arrogant bitch comes along and changes you and she takes you away from me. I once told you we had happiness in those moments between pretending we loved other people. You held me that one night I’ll always have. And that bitch took you away and got me out of your life. This is for her. You are nothing. If you were

I CAN’T STOP CPH—I can’t stop wondering why you convinced yourself that you DON’T and WON’T make me happy. You DID and WOULD. I miss losing to you in chess, I miss losing to you, and everyone else in DC/ Marvel, I miss being the Baraka, and I miss Spike biting me. I miss making dinner with you, and I miss watching Dwight K. Schrute with you. I miss the anticipation of seeing you, kissing you, and touching you. I miss meeting you halfway on your block and getting my big hug and kiss. I miss you in my big bed, Dawks is good, but doesn’t quite cut it. He misses you too, he told me so himself. WHAT THE FUCK??? You just left me, you completely cut me out of your life after a 30 minute conversation. It is so cold, so heartless of you. It’s been over 2 months and still, the pain remains strong. If you ever get back to the YOU that I met, please, please, let me know. I would love to have my best friend back. You, just you, were always enough for me. I was always happy and proud to be your SEXY ASS TOOTSIE POP.

BITCH I LOVE YOU

Damn, I didn’t think that it was going to be like this but shit I miss you so much. I keep listening to this song by Leona Lewis and it is killing to think about who you are sleeping with or spending your time with now. I just miss the way that we used to laugh about certain things and make love then go downstairs to gorge on food. Just being with you. Just like the song says, I don’t care what they say I am in love with you......hopefully I will snap out of it soon and just move on with or without you.

eating my soft pretzels feeling bad for y’all. City of Brotherly Love, y’all must of forgot. I ain’t got time to hate, ain’t nobody got time for that. I don’t eat no hate sandwiches. Y’all can ride your hate horses into the river. I’m eating my pizza topped with love. Don’t care if that’s cheezy. Y’all keep drankin that haterade. But you got no electrolytes. That’s why got no heart. Because I fucking love you and there’s nothing you can do about it.

I’VE BEEN READY

of grueling training, learning Latin and Greek and any number of dead languages for the opportunity to prove themselves a champion speller. From what remained of your cretinous conversation with your brunch-mates I could only glean that the only study to which you’ve dedicated yourself is the fastest way to the bottom of a case of beer. Loser.

FUCK YOU When you called a couple of weeks ago and ask about your yearbooks...you asked me if i had them...i told you they were in storage...i lied...f*$k you!!! you cheat on me...leave me for a hag from another state...

ass!! I hate everything that you stand for...I am glad that you aren’t here...you know that I blast people on here...so email your buddies and ask them is she mad at me? And the perfect response to that is yeah bitch I am mad at you...I think that you are dumb and you burned all bridges with me....you also talked alot about “karma” who’s karma is it now...you are miserable and I think that you should stop reaching out to people that you used to work with...they could care less about what you are doing now...so do I!

If someone asks me again am I ready to go and I am going to shout in the air!! I been ready to go as soon as I walked into the damn door, and as the old saying goes...just because you aren’t ready to go home that doesn’t mean that I am not ready...why is it that on the fuckin weekends the time goes so fast...I do thank GOD that I work and can be able to support myself but sometimes I just be the fuck ready to go home and lay in the damn bed...if I could lay in the bed all day I would and just relax and unwind.... this week should be something to tell the grandchildren....food, bliss, fun, hopefully some sex... ✚ ADS ALSO APPEAR AT CITYPAPER.NET/lovehate. City Paper has the

HATERS GONNA HATE

right to re-publish “I Love You, I Hate You”™ ads at the publisher’s discretion. This includes re-purposing the ads for online publication, or for any

All you haters just keep on hating. I’m over here

other ancillary publishing projects.

C I T Y PA P E R . N E T | M A R C H 2 7 - A P R I L 2 , 2 0 1 4 | P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R |

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ComedySportz in no way whatsoever presents

An adults-only improv show that will leave you laughing and thinking, “Did they just say that?”

LAST FRIDAY OF EVERY MONTH @ 10PM! The Playground @ The Adrienne 2030 Sansom Street

comedysportzphilly.com

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