Philadelphia City Paper, April 30th, 2015

THE STORY OF ONE LYING COP IN PHILLY’S WILD WEST DRUG WAR.

By Daniel Denvir

Discovering the Impressionists Paul Durand-Ruel and the New Painting June 24–September 13 Tickets Are Limited. Book Now.

General Admission is Pay What You Wish today, Sunday, May 3 philamuseum.org

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PHIL ADELPHIA CIT Y PAPER // APRIL 30 - MA Y 6, 2015 // C I T Y PA PER . N ET

C I T Y PA PER . N ET // APRIL 30 - MA Y 6, 2015 // PHIL ADELPHIA CIT Y PAPER

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PHIL ADELPHIA CIT Y PAPER // APRIL 30 - MA Y 6, 2015 // C I T Y PA PER . N ET

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WHO’S PAYING THE BILLS? AS THE MAYORAL CAMPAIGN heats up, questions about sources of funding for each of the candidates has moved to center stage. Comic artist Terry LaBan offers his tongue-incheek view of the political money trail. We hope you’ll think about his drawing the next time you see an ad on TV. LaBan draws the nationally syndicated Edge City comic strip and his company, Cartoon Impact, helps businesses and others use comics, humor and graphic narratives to get their messages out.

CP STAFF Associate Publisher Jennifer Clark Editor in Chief Lillian Swanson Senior Editor Patrick Rapa Arts & Culture Editor Mikala Jamison Food Editor Caroline Russock Senior Staff Writers Daniel Denvir, Emily Guendelsberger Copy Chief Carolyn Wyman Contributors Sam Adams, Dotun Akintoye, A.D. Amorosi, Rodney Anonymous, Mary Armstrong, Bryan Bierman, Shaun Brady, Peter Burwasser, Mark Cofta, Adam Erace, David Anthony Fox, Caitlin Goodman, K. Ross Hoffman, Jon Hurdle, Deni Kasrel, Alli Katz, Gary M. Kramer, Drew Lazor, Alex Marcus, Gair “Dev 79�

Marking, Robert McCormick, Andrew Milner, John Morrison, Michael Pelusi, Natalie Pompilio, Sameer Rao, Jim Saksa, Elliott Sharp, Marc Snitzer, Nikki Volpicelli, Brian Wilensky, Andrew Zaleski, Julie Zeglen.

Production Director Michael Polimeno Senior Designer Brenna Adams Designer/Social Media Director Jenni Betz Contributing Photographers Jessica Kourkounis, Charles Mostoller, Hillary Petrozziello, Maria Pouchnikova, Neal Santos, Mark Stehle U.S. Circulation Director Joseph Lauletta (ext. 239) Account Managers Nick Cavanaugh (ext. 260), Amanda Gambier (ext. 228), Sharon MacWilliams (ext. 262), Susanna Simon (ext. 250) Classified Account Manager Jennifer Fisher (215-717-2681) Editor Emeritus Bruce Schimmel founded City Paper in a Germantown storefront in November 1981. Local philanthropist Milton L. Rock purchased the paper in 1996 and published it until August 2014 when Metro US became the paper’s third owner.

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C I T Y PA PER . N ET // APRIL 30 - MA Y 6, 2015 // PHIL ADELPHIA CIT Y PAPER

5

THE BELL CURVE

THIS WEEK ’S TOTAL: +3 // THE YEAR SO FAR: +11

OUR WEEKLY QUALITY-OF-LIFE-O-METER

QUICK PICKS

more picks on p. 34

NOISES OFF

The Wanamaker building is put up for sale and is expected to go for $200 million or more. Attention prospective buyers: The place is basically infested with sentient mannequins.

0

The World Meeting of Families says it needs 10,000 volunteers for the Pope’s visit in September.

We here at Bell Curve are volunteering to rent out our cubicle for $900 a night.

-2

Atlantic City residents say raw sewage is being pumped into a marsh behind an Econo Lodge hotel. “Curses! They found my hidey hole,” says Donald Trump.

+1

Seminary students are taking a management course at St. Joe’s University originally developed for Wawa managers.

Which is why you can now add bacon to the eucharist for $1.95.

+2

Philly native Bradley Cooper is nominated for a Tony Award for his portrayal of John Merrick in The Elephant Man. “Look, I was not an animal,” says Merrick’s ghost. “But I wasn’t a fucking pretty boy, either.”

+1

SEPTA confirms that its “key” system is already operational for senior citizens, allowing them to ride for free after swiping their ID cards. This actually works for anybody who can swipe an old person’s ID card.

PA T R IC K

+1

After a test ride, Daily News col umnist Stu Bykofsky declares the bike share program a “loser” for his purposes, as it took him six minutes longer to

bike to work than to walk. Later that night, in the guise of the dread vigilante Stu Carkofsky, he finds the bike that made him late and runs it down with the fearsome Carmobile (an ’83 Chevy Caprice).

Toro y Moi

ANDREW ERVIN/ THE DEAD MILKMEN No offense to regular book release soireés, but this is the one to beat. Ervin, who’s written for the Inky, City Paper, New York Times, etc., is celebrating the release of his new novel Burning Down George Orwell’s House (Soho Press) — and he’s bringing along Philly punk royalty The Dead fucking Milkmen to rock/burn down the Library. Your move, Scottoline.

5/3, Central Library, freelibrary. org. —Patrick Rapa NOURA MINT SEYMALI

The globalization of music culture has led to Afrobeat and Balkan bands taking root in Brooklyn and Philly, and even better, to artists from far-flung locales splicing outside influences into traditional musics. That’s the case with Mauritanian singer Noura Mint Seymali, whose songs meld Moorish griot music with psych rock and electric blues to create a sound that suggests that Captain Beefheart might have exiled himself to the wrong desert. 5/3, Calvary Center for Culture and Community, crossroadsconcerts. org. —Shaun Brady

R A PA

0

Comcast’s proposed acquisition of Time Warner Cable falls apart due to “regulatory opposition.” “Listen, I was waiting here, ready to sign the papers, and the guy never showed,” says Time Warner.

“Took the day off of work for this, too.”

MAT THEW TINARI

Curio Theatre concludes its 10th season in West Philly with Michael Frayn’s 1982 theatrical farce, which reveals the backstage chaos in rehearsal and performance of a British touring production of the play within the play, Nothing On. Peter Reynolds of Mauckingbird Theatre and Temple University directs, while set-design wiz and artistic director Paul Kuhn creates a two-level house that has to turn around between acts to reveal its backside. Hilarity is guaranteed. Through 5/30, Calvary Center for Culture and Community, curiotheatrecompany.org. —Mark Cofta

0

Noura Mint Seymali

TORO Y MOI Chaz Bundick won us over with smooth, groovy, R&B-ish electronic pop, so TyM’s new What For? (Carpark Records) is kind of a jolt. Four albums in and he’s suddenly doing rock ’n’ roll — like, with strumming and drumming and everything. Still groovy as hell, though. 4/30, Union Transfer,utphilly.com. —Patrick Rapa ORSON WELLES’ 100TH May 6 would’ve been Orson Welles’ 100th birthday, and the Ambler and County theaters are celebrating with a handful of films by and about the boy genius turned groundbreaking artist turned fallen auteur. On his birthday, both theaters will present the career-spanning 2014 doc Magician, followed later in the month by screenings of his breakthrough masterpiece Citizen Kane and the lesser-known 1946 thriller The Stranger. 5/6-21,Ambler and County Theaters, renewtheaters. org. —Shaun Brady

6

PHIL ADELPHIA CIT Y PAPER // APRIL 30 - MA Y 6, 2015 // C I T Y PA PER . N ET

THENAKEDCITY

NEWS // OPINION // POLITICS

COMMUNITY CONCERNS: Samantha Phillips, director of the city’s Office of Emergency Management, answers questions about her agency’s preparedness for an oil-train disaster in Philly.

She spoke at the Center City Residents Association meeting Monday night at the Trinity Center for Urban Life.

MARK STEHLE

RAIL SAFETY

BY JON HURDLE

FEDS DO ONLY PERIODIC CHECKS ON OIL-TRAIN TRACK INSPECTIONS

Railroads that haul hazardous materials are required to inspect their tracks at least twice a week. But the Federal Railroad Administration reviews those inspection reports far less often.

RAILROAD COMPANIES that haul oil trains daily through Philadelphia conduct their own track inspections, and any defects they find may not be discovered by federal regulators until months later, a U.S. official said on Monday.

Mike England, a spokesman for the Fed eral Railroad Administration, says the agency relies mostly on the railroads to inspect tracks for problems that might cause derailments.

Railroads are required to inspect tracks at

least twice a week if they are used for passenger trains or to haul hazardous materials, including crude oil, England says. “The track owner is responsible for the safety of the track,” he says.

The agency monitors the railroads’ trackinspection programs by auditing their reports at the companies’ offices, and by conducting its own inspections, but both those procedures are much less frequent than the railroads’ own scrutiny of their tracks, England says.

If an FRA audit discovers that a railroad has found a track problem, inspectors will then go to the site to verify that it has been fixed, he says.

The audits are conducted “at least yearly — sometimes more often than that,” he says, adding, “We do random audits if we think it’s necessary.”

Asked whether the FRA might be unaware of a track defect for months because of what he called the “periodical” nature of its audits, England responded that the railroads have a financial incentive to make sure the tracks are properly maintained.

“Well, yes, but they obviously have an incentive to fix any faults in their track,” England says. “If there’s an accident, you’ve got to think about it from a financial perspective, that hurts their bottom line significantly.”

The frequency of the FRA’s own inspections depends in part on what a track is carrying and where it is located, England says.

In Philadelphia, the agency last inspected tracks carrying CSX oil trains on Feb. 26, and those used by Norfolk Southern on March 23.

Both inspections “passed,” he says.

Despite a recent series of oil-train derailments, including two in Philadelphia, the number of track-caused accidents nationwide fell 53 percent, to 506 in 2014 from 1,082 in 2005, En gland says. He attributed the decline to increased inspections by the FRA and tighter self-regulation by the railroads, which know that they could be shut down or fined heavily by the agency if they don’t

comply with federal rules.

But his comments follow criticism by Jim Hall, a former chairman of the National Transportation Safety Board, who told City Paper in early April that the FRA does not have enough inspectors to ensure that railroad tracks carrying millions of gallons of crude oil are maintained well enough to prevent derailments.

The sporadic nature of the FRA’s oversight is a cause for concern, said Samantha Phillips, director of the city of Philadelphia’s Office of Emergency Management. Phillips said she had been unaware of a delay between track inspections and federal regulators’ audits.

“If somebody is inspecting this track and gleaning great information on vulnerabili-

‘If you are gathering real-time information, let’s get that to somebody who can actually act on that information.’ ties, that should be provided immediately,” Phillips told City Paper after a public meeting on Monday night about the city agency’s preparations for any oil-train incident. “You almost wonder why the work is being done.

“If you are gathering real-time information, let’s get that to somebody who can actually act on that information,” she said.

About 30 people attended a meeting at the Trinity Center for Urban Life at 22nd and Spruce streets Monday night to hear a presentation from Phillips about her office’s work to prepare for emergencies in general and oil-train accidents in particular.

In the event of an oil-train derailment, people living within a half-mile radius of the incident would be asked — via the city’s emergency text-alert system, social and traditional

continued on p. 7

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continued f rom p. 6

FEDS DO ONLY PERIODIC CHECKS ON OIL-TRAIN TRACK INSPECTIONS

media — to leave their homes and go to shelters until the danger had passed, Phillips told the group.

Rob Doolittle, a spokesman for CSX, which runs oil and other freight trains through Philadelphia along the east side of the Schuylkill River, said the company conducts visual inspections of its crude-oil routes at least three times a week. CSX also uses ultrasound to detect any internal defects in rails on a cycle that ranges from 31 to 123 days, depending, in part, on how much freight is shipped on a line, he says.

“When faults are identified, company standards require remedial action that ranges from taking tracks out of service until repairs can be made to reducing the speed at which trains can operate,” Doolittle wrote in an email.

He did not answer a question about whether the company has recently found defects in its Philadelphia tracks, or what steps it had taken to repair any problems, saying that inspection reports “are considered proprietary and confidential” and are available for review by the Federal Railroad Administration.

Doolittle also rebutted complaints from some residents who say that trains carrying oil and other freight sit for hours with their engines idling outside apartment buildings, such as those along the east bank of the Schuylkill River. Some residents at the Edgewater apartment building at 23rd and Race streets say they have trouble sleeping, and are unable to open their windows because of noise and diesel fumes from locomotives parked outside.

Karen Kanter, a retired schoolteacher, said trains stop outside her building between 6 p.m. and 8 p.m. daily, and stay parked there with their engines running until around 10 a.m. to noon the next day. The parked trains also block the crossing between the building and the jogging trail on the riverbank a few feet away, forcing residents to take a detour via the Ben Franklin Parkway or JFK Boulevard to reach either the trail or the west end of Race Street.

CSX’s Doolittle said trains sometimes idle outside rail yards because customers such as Philadelphia Energy Solutions’ South Philadelphia refinery aren’t ready to accept a shipment, or because of weather-related congestion on the rail network.

Engines must idle to maintain pressure in the brake system, Doolittle says, and it could take hours to restart and re-inspect a mile-long train if the engines are turned off.

Responding to the complaints about trains blocking pedestrian crossings, Doolittle says city officials agreed that CSX could not guarantee constant access to crossings such as the one at the end of Race Street, but that train crews do try to avoid parking there. “Our crews know where to stop so that gate closure isn’t activated,” he says.

Despite the railroad’s attempts at conciliation, Kanter and her partner, Stanley Tobin, both 73, have decided to move out of Edgewater when their lease expires in October, after living there for only a year.

The daily reality of noise and fumes, added to the fear of a derailment or even a terrorist attack on an oil train outside their building, have prompted them to look for another home outside the evacuation zone, where residents living within half a mile of a derailment or explosion would be moved by city authorities.

“We are moving,” she said.

“We don’t want to be incinerated in our beds.We never would have moved here if someone had told us about the trains.”

Although their apartment does not face the tracks, Kanter and Tobin said the noise from the trains disturbs their sleep unless they turn on a humidifier or a bathroom fan during the night.

Suvi Borodin, another Edgewater resident whose sixth-floor apartment overlooks the tracks, said the trains seem to be exempt from city ordinances on air and noise pollution.

“Philadelphia has noise pollution and air pollution regulations but for some reason there is some sacrosanct thing about trains that they can pollute and make noise without having to follow the same regulations,” said Borodin, 61, a retired IT worker.

A big part of the frustration, Kanter and Borodin said, is that local officials have not responded to their complaints, and that they have heard nothing from CSX, despite several attempts to contact the railroad. Kanter said she had filled out complaint forms on the websites of City Council President Darrell Clarke and Mayor Michael Nutter, but neither responded.

“The only response I have ever gotten is: ‘They are federally managed, there is nothing the city can do about it,’” Kanter says. (editorial@citypaper.net)

We are moving.

We don’t want to be incinerated in our beds.

7

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ast Thursday, District Attorney Seth Williams an nounced that Philadelphia Police Officer Christopher Hulmes, a narcotics cop who admitted in open court to lying under oath, had been charged with perjury and other offenses.

It only took more than three years.

During that lapse, Hulmes continued to patrol the city’s bustling drug markets and to testify in criminal trials that likely sent many defendants to prison.

Some of those convictions could end up being overturned and costing the city in civil settlements.

That Hulmes admitted in 2011 to lying multiple times in a drug-and-gun case is without question. But precisely what he intended to cover up, and why it took an August 2014 City Paper investigation to prompt prosecutors to file charges, is much more complicated.

The alleged discovery of crack cocaine and a gun on a Kensington street, and its slow journey into the public spotlight, offers a glimpse into allegations of cops’ abusive and unauthorized relationships with confidential informants, witness intimidation, disappearing video and audio tape, a rubber-stamp parole board, police theft, prosecutorial misconduct, wrongful imprisonment, illegal searches and the planting of evidence.

The charges filed against Officer Hulmes are only the most recent scandal to emerge from Philadelphia’s Wild West drug war. Currently, six other narcotics officers are standing trial in federal court, accused of stealing hundreds of thousands of dollars from suspected drug dealers and brutally abusing them.

Hulmes, a longtime member of the department’s Narcotics Strike Force, in December 2011 admitted under questioning from defense lawyer Guy Sciolla that he lied in search warrant applications, and later in a preliminary hearing, in the case of Arthur Rowland, now 34, and his half-brother, Paul Ricks, 31.

Even so, Hulmes insisted that police did find drugs and a gun in Rowland’s

THE PRICE OF PERJURY THE STORY OF ONE LYING COP IN PHILLY’S WILD WEST DRUG WAR.

By Daniel Denvir silver GMC — 26 packets of crack, and a .40 Glock handgun fitted with a laser sight and loaded with nine rounds — after detaining the two on May 7, 2010.

Hulmes lied about various details, he said, to protect the identity of Joshua Torres, a reputed Kensington drug dealer whom he described as a confidential source. Hulmes’ partner, Officer Patrick Banning, signed two allegedly perjured search warrant applications, which — among other apparent lies — falsified the timing of a suspected drug transaction. Hulmes took responsibility for writing the warrant applications, which is perhaps one reason why Banning wasn’t charged.

“I changed it,” Hulmes testified, without explaining how the lie would protect Torres. “I told you, I concealed Mr. Tores’s [his name is misspelled in some court documents] identity. … I changed the times because I did not want him hurt or harmed in any way.”

Rowland and Ricks did have criminal records. Rowland’s include charges stemming from 1999 and 2000 arrests for drug dealing, robbery, carjacking, aggravated assault and illegal gun possession, to which he pleaded guilty.

Ricks was convicted of charges that included robbery, theft, simple assault, criminal conspiracy and drug possession stemming from arrests in 2001, 2003 and 2004. But neither had faced arrest for years at the time they encountered Hulmes, says their attorney, Sciolla, and both deny there was a gun or crack in the vehicle.

“Somebody’s lying,” says Sciolla in an interview in his Center City office.

“And you got a cop who’s already admitted that he lied about what happened on Thayer Street,” the block where Hulmes claimed to have witnessed Rowland handing off drugs.

But Rowland, a Black man with multiple tattoos and a criminal record, fit the profile: His word was worthless against that of a police officer in the city’s busy and grinding drug war.

KEY PLAYERS:Opposite page, from left, Police Officer Christopher Hulmes, District Attorney Seth Williams, and attorney Guy Sciolla.

“I finally got my life on [track]. I felt like I was being successful,” says Rowland, who had just had a daughter, and was enrolled at Alvernia University. “I still owe them money for going delinquent cause I couldn’t put my loans in deferment.”

Rowland hasn’t been back to school yet and now works as a barber. He sees a sort of grim humor in the ordeal. “When you can say, ‘Oh my God, like, they put drugs in my car,’ ” even friends and fellow prisoners doubted him, he says during an interview, reaching to touch my knee to emphasize a point he finds particularly surreal or outrageous. “Do you understand what this did to my family and my life? … It crushed me. I have never been the same [because the ordeal] put me in a dark place emotionally.”

If he had been convicted, Rowland could have been sent to prison for more than 20 years for a crime he did not commit (in addition to parole back time he would have to serve), says Sciolla. But Hulmes’ admission of perjury wrecked the prosecution. In January 2012, Common Pleas Court Judge James Murray Lynn ordered the evidence to be suppressed, or thrown out; this forced the DA to drop charges against Rowland.

(Charges against Ricks, who was riding shotgun, didn’t make it past the preliminary hearing.) At this point, Rowland had already been incarcerated for 19 months. Because his arrest was deemed a parole violation, he actually spent 28

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PHOTO BY CHARLES MOSTOLLER

months behind bars before he was finally set free.

“The police officer forthrightly testified to the Court that he lied consistently throughout to the [warrant] issuing magistrate and that he lied at the preliminary hearing and that he lied to his K-9 officer, all because he was trying to protect the identity of the confidential source,” said Judge Lynn, excoriating Officer Hulmes for lying under oath, and the DA for putting him on the stand.

“You cannot put an officer on the witness stand who is going to say I lied to an issuing magistrate; you cannot do that.”

Hulmes’ lawyer, Brian J. McMonagle, says that his client is being punished for protecting a source from harm.

“Chris made misrepresentations in an effort to protect a man’s life. And the decision to do that cost him his career,” McMonagle says.

McMonagle did not respond to requests to address specific facts of the case. Those facts suggest that Hulmes may have lied to cover up illegal searches of Rowland’s vehicle and create a false pretext for the arrests. Motives aside, the DA’s failure to prosecute him in a timely manner or disclose the perjury to defense attorneys, and instead put him on the stand, deprived an unknown number of defendants a fair trial.

“It is of little solace to my client, Arthur Rowland, that a man who was responsible for taking 28 months of a man’s life and freedom has now sur-

rendered to answer for the lies and falsehoods” that put him behind bars, says Sciolla. “The question all of us must ask is, why has it taken over three-plus years from the day that the lies were admitted … for an arrest to take place?”

S

ome lawyers, including prosecutors, had known about the case since at least December 2011. But it was not widely publicized until August 2014, when City Paper published an investigation into the admitted perjury.

After publication, the Police Department quickly took Hulmes and Banning off the street, and initiated an investigation. But the DA continued to call them as witnesses in the months that followed, insisting they were credible, despite defense lawyers’ objections. Prosecutors were, however, clearly eager to keep the two officers from testifying, letting many defendants charged with felonies plead to misdemeanor charges or dismissing the charges altogether.

“While I am thrilled that Officer Hulmes is finally being held accountable for the crime he committed, I am still deeply troubled that the District Attorney’s Office publicly stood by Officer Hulmes and continued to call him as a witness while simultaneously investigating him for this crime he has now been charged with,” Annie Fisher, Eastern Division chief at the Defender Association of Philadelphia, wrote in an email to City Paper last week.

It’s unclear whether Banning will be internally disciplined. The Police Department, which has not made anyone available for an interview about the case, says that the investigation is ongoing and that Banning remains on desk duty. Through his lawyer, Fortunato N. Perri Jr., Banning declined to comment. It is also unclear who in the Police Department knew about Hulmes’ admitted perjury, and whether Internal Affairs had previously investigated and took no action.

After City Paper’s story was published, the DA did hand defense lawyers a thick packet of discovery materials on Hulmes’ admitted lies, comprising testimony from Rowland’s case and related Internal Affairs investigations.

But that was information that they had likely been required, under what is known as the Brady Rule, to reveal since Hulmes admitted to lying — in December 2011.

Along with perjury, Hulmes has been charged with false swearing, unsworn falsifications to authorities, false reports to law enforcement authorities, tampering with public records and information and obstructing administration of law or other governmental function. Perjury is a felony, which First Assistant District Attorney Ed McCann says is punishable by up to seven years in prison.

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PHOTO BY MARK STEHLE

But because Hulmes does not have a prior record, says McCann, sentencing guidelines would call for non-confinement. Police Commissioner Charles Ramsey announced that Hulmes has been suspended with intent to fire.

H

ulmes and Banning’s initial account described an unremarkable drug bust in the thriving street drug markets common among Kensington’s modest row homes and abandoned factories. Some buildings on the neighborhood’s edges are being gentrified. But throughout much of the deeply impoverished area, dealers, mostly Puerto Rican men, sell heroin and cocaine to a multicultural cornucopia of urban and suburban drug users who arrive by car, foot and train to satisfy their habits in the shadows of Philadelphia’s industrial collapse.

As anthropologist Philippe Bourgois has written, the city’s drug markets have, for some on the margins, “become the only accessible ‘equal opportunity employer.’” The challenges of the new American economy couldn’t be more stark. But the most high-profile government response is policing.

The corner of H and Thayer is typical of that reality.

“I bought heroin and crack at H and Thayer,” Hulmes testified. “I have assisted in the arrest of dealers at H and Thayer. It’s a known location for drug sales, a heavy known location for drug sales.” continued on p. 12

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Judging from my recent visit to the corner, that is likely true. But Hulmes later said that much of his initial account, which follows below, was a lie.

At about 8:30 p.m. on May 7, 2010, Hulmes and Banning said they received information that a Black male driving a silver GMC was supplying drugs to the corner of H and Thayer streets. Hulmes then observed Arthur Rowland, sitting in a heavily tinted silver vehicle next to a Black male passenger, speaking to alleged corner dealer Joshua Torres; Rowland allegedly passed a blue object to an unidentified Hispanic man.

Hulmes later stated that it looked like either heroin or crack.

The men then left, Rowland and Ricks in their vehicle and Torres in another, but Hulmes and Banning did not call for backup officers to stop them. Instead, Hulmes said they tailed the two vehicles, losing Rowland but following Torres’ white van to the 2900 block of Frankford Avenue, about one mile away.

Police watched as Rowland then allegedly arrived, calling out to Torres, who was, oddly, standing outside near his apartment, counting money — Hulmes later said it was about $1,500, and that he had instructed Torres to brazenly display it.

Just then, 24th District police working on an unrelated matter allegedly pulled up and chased two men down Frankford Avenue. Hulmes’ surveillance was blown, and Hulmes said he called backup officers to detain Torres and Rowland. They found Ricks inside the vehicle.

Hulmes said he saw a clear plastic bag containing 26 blue-tinted packets of crack cocaine in plain sight, between the driver’s seat and console of Rowland’s vehicle. Hulmes had also received information about a secret compartment, he said, and used a flashlight to peer into vents near the front seat. He said he spied the grips of a handgun and bundled up cash hidden inside.

Police drove Rowland’s vehicle to a nearby parking lot at Trenton and Lehigh avenues, a “staging area,” Hulmes said, to “avoid neighbors interfering with the police investigation.”

continued from p. 11

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ARTHUR ROWLAND, A BLACK MAN WITH MULTIPLE TATTOOS AND A CRIMINAL RECORD, FIT THE PROFILE: HIS WORD WAS WORTHLESS AGAINST THAT OF A POLICE OFFICER. But things looked different from the curb, where Rowland and Ricks sat handcuffed. Ricks was scared. He had no idea why they were being detained so long, and why police had driven the vehicle away.

“I’ve never seen a routine stop take two hours,” says Ricks. “I’m like, we’re about to die. What’s going on? I know we ain’t got nothin’ on us.”

Rowland gives this account of what happened: He says as he approached Torres’ door, he saw police stopping people a few feet away from him on the street, and Torres walking away into his home. Rowland says he knocked on Torres’ door and called his phone, to no avail. He was there not to sell drugs but rather to pick up money on behalf of his sister, who had sold Torres the white van.

“She keep pestering me about the damn car,” Rowland says. “For a birthday present, I had just came back from Puerto Rico. Just came back from Puerto Rico. Like just got back. And I’m back doing what? I only been back a day.

One day. I was exhausted. He was like, ‘Yeah, I got the money, you want it tomorrow or today?’ I said, ‘It’s up to you.’

“So I turned around going towards my car — cops swarm in on me,” says Rowland. Those cops were narcotics Officers Derrick Jones and Kim Watts — the same officers who Rowland says were detaining people as he arrived.

This seems to contradict Hulmes’ story about 24th District officers jumping out and blowing up their surveillance.

After being detained on Frankford Avenue, Rowland and Ricks were taken to Hulmes’ “staging area” at Trenton and Lehigh avenues. Rowland says police were searching his vehicle again.

“When we’re pulling up, I see them with all my doors open, and the hood, and they tearing my car up,” says Rowland. “I’m like, ‘Yo, is this legal?’”

At about 10 p.m., K-9 Officer John Snyder and his dog, Leo, arrived, Hulmes stated, walked around the vehicle, hopped inside and indicated that something might be hidden. This search might have been illegal, and Hulmes testified evasively about how the dog ended up inside the car.

“Officer Snyder asked me if I was going to do a warrant on the car. … I just know I told him we’re definitely getting a warrant on the car.”

And then, “I believe either I opened it or we opened the door so the dog went inside of that vehicle and hit on the front seat area.”

Officer Snyder flatly contradicted Hulmes. “I was told that I had consent” to put the dog into the vehicle, Snyder testified.

Hulmes and Banning later obtained a warrant to search the vehicle, and police allegedly recovered a gun. They also got a warrant for Rowland’s par-

ents’ home in Northeast Philadelphia.

Nothing illegal was found.

“I’m there for like an hour in that parking lot,” recalls Rowland. “So this is like, how do you search my car over there, come over here, search my car, and then call a dog? If you already found drugs, in plain view? Don’t need a dog.”

T

he officers’ story began to unravel after Torres, Ricks, and Rowland’s mother, Debra Ingalls, complained to Internal Affairs. Ricks told investigators that police planted drugs: Banning, he reported, walked up in the parking lot, was holding something and said, “Bingo, book both of them.”

Internal Affairs claimed there was not enough evidence to determine whether Hulmes had lied about finding crack cocaine in Rowland’s vehicle when the men were first detained on Frankford Avenue.

But key evidence may have been destroyed. Rowland, while handcuffed on the curb, says he spotted surveillance cameras on the facade of the laundromat below Torres’ apartment.

“My whole plan was get those cameras. We’re going to show everything’s a lie,” says Rowland.

An Internal Affairs investigator stated that a laundromat employee reported that none of the cameras were “operational.” But Rowland hired a private detective, he says, who reported that police had taken the tapes.

“There were tapes,” says Sciolla. The laundromat owner “said that the cops had come in and took the tape out of there. He was scared. He wouldn’t come.

Wouldn’t testify.”

I was unable to locate that owner. A woman working at the laundromat, speaking in Chinese to an interpreter, said that it was under new management.

Hulmes had initially told Internal Affairs that they were on Frankford Avenue “maybe 10 to 15 minutes,” and that they had not searched the vehicle.

But Ricks told Internal Affairs that police searched the vehicle for between 45 minutes and one hour on the block, an account echoed at trial by a witness (who knew Rowland), who testified that he saw two or three officers searching the continued on p. 14

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inside of the vehicle there for about 40 or 45 minutes.

Hulmes ultimately stated that the crack allegedly found in plain view was only visible to him after he got into Rowland’s vehicle — another possible illegal search.

Internal Affairs did find that Hulmes and Banning’s methods violated department rules. For one, moving Rowland’s vehicle from the street to a parking lot suggested the possibility of an illegal search. Investigators also determined that Torres was the officers’ informant.

But they had failed to register Torres, or any confidential informant, with the Police Department as required.

Hulmes punishment, according to police, was a written reprimand.

H

ulmes repeatedly said that his lying was necessary to protect Torres’ well-being. But Torres told Internal Affairs investigators that Hulmes and Banning used threats and violence to pressure him into providing information — and that they robbed him.

Torres alleged that the officers stopped him as he tried to drive away one day, and found a blunt of marijuana in his van. They allegedly went through his cell phone contacts — and put him in a police car and drove him around. Such treatment is standard punishment for wayward informants, says Sciolla.

“They put you in a car. They drive you in all the neighborhoods where you are active, or where you’ve been giving information about people who had suspicions — and now all of a sudden you’re sitting in a police car driving around,” he says.

The officers, Torres alleged, made an unsavory proposal: Torres was out on bail and a favor, they said, would be required to keep him out. Torres told investigators that he finally gave up two names — but not Rowland or Ricks.

Hulmes allegedly accompanied Torres home and asked him for guns and drugs — “something to help him out” — a possible request for illegal items that could be planted on suspects.

Hulmes also allegedly threatened a woman whom Internal Affairs de-

continued from p. 12

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INAUSPICIOUS: Drug defendant Arthur Rowland thought surveillance cameras he spotted outside this coin laundry in the 2900 block of Frankford Avenue would prove police charges against him were a lie. But an Internal Affairs investigator says a laundromat employee reported that none of the cameras were ‘operational.’ But Rowland says he hired a private detective who told him police took the tapes.

PHOTO BY HILLARY PETROZZIELLO

scribed as Torres’ wife.

“If you get your fucking man to do what we want him to do, you won’t be going through no more problems,” Hulmes allegedly told her, according to Internal Affairs’ account of Torres’ complaint. (I have been unable to locate her.)

Torres said that Rowland was not there to sell drugs, but rather was swinging by to pick up a payment for the van Torres had purchased, and Torres had walked downstairs to meet him. That was where he encountered Officer Banning, who was pointing a gun at him, Torres said.

“You want to play tricks with us,” Banning allegedly said, smacking Torres, calling him a liar and dragging him from the home. Apparently, the cops hadn’t gotten much from the tip he had provided. “You want to fuck around with us? We can make things happen.”

Outside, on Frankford Avenue, Torres saw Rowland and Ricks on the ground with police on top of them.

After police drove Torres to the parking lot, he said, Banning strip-searched him and got mean. “We have your contacts,” Banning allegedly said, holding Torres’ cell phone. “We went through your phone. We already called your contacts. We already know what is going on. You want to fuck with us and lie to us.”

Torres said that Banning then patted him on the back and released him in view of Rowland and Ricks, apparently to indicate that he was a snitch.

Hulmes has claimed that he wanted to “protect a confidential informant who they subsequently caused to be outed and ultimately put in jeopardy,” says Sciolla. “So here’s a guy you’re trying to protect and now all of a sudden the spigot gets turned off so, ‘Fuck him.’ So now we’ll just out him, we’ll let the whole world know that he was my CI? How do you do that?”

In a 2013 deposition, Hulmes admitted that Torres supplied information that day under intense pressure.

“We sort of indicated that he was going to be arrested,” Hulmes said. “We lied to him.”

While Hulmes told Internal Affairs that he never entered Torres’ home, by 2013 he couldn’t “recall” whether he had done so. “I don’t think I went in there.”

U

nder questioning by Sciolla at a December 2011 hearing on Rowland’s motion to suppress evidence, Hulmes quickly admitted to making a false statement. And then another.

Hulmes’ new account was radically different from that which he had previ-

ously offered. Hulmes now said that the officers had witnessed the apparent drug transaction at H and Thayer Streets not around 8:50 p.m, but closer to 5:30. This lie would seemingly not have protected Torres: If Rowland had actually met Torres at H and Thayer, Rowland would have known when the meeting had taken place.

Hulmes also acknowledged that he could not see who was driving the vehicle at H and Thayer, or even whether there was a passenger.

“Never was no H and Thayer,” says Rowland, still frustrated. “They put H and Thayer in there to try to create a probable cause. But, you see, it get all chewed up in the paperwork like, ‘Oh, I never seen him at H and Thayer, I made that up to protect my source.’ It never was none of that stuff!”

Rowland says that Hulmes couldn’t even get the most basic detail right: He says he was driving a Chevy Trailblazer, not a GMC. Stranger yet, Hulmes now said that he had not followed Torres from H and Thayer to Frankford Avenue, but rather followed Torres’ van in a short loop around the block, after which Torres started to freak out, pleading for the officers to take him away.

“I will give you my guy right now,” Torres allegedly said. “Just get me and the van out of here. Just get me out of here.”

Hulmes claimed that police took Torres continued on p. 16

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and drove him a few blocks away to Harrowgate Plaza, a tattered strip mall set back against a vast parking lot. Hulmes said that he drove Torres’ van.

The revised account Hulmes offered in December 2011 made less sense than the original.

Hulmes stated that police spent 90 minutes with Torres as he made calls to Rowland to arrange a drug deal, and then apparently another hour and a half or so driving around fruitlessly looking for Rowland until he finally agreed to meet on Frankford Avenue, in front of Torres’ home. Torres, in yet another bizarre detail, allegedly called his mother, who met them and drove the van back home, where the sting took place.

Torres said his ordeal continued a few days after the arrests, when Banning, Hulmes and Watts arrived at his home, Torres told Internal Affairs, ransacked it and demanded to know where he was hiding drugs. “What do you think we are going to forget about you?” an officer allegedly asked.

Torres told investigators that more than $700 was stolen from his home, “money they had been saving for the car.” Ricks also accused police of stealing about $400 from him; Rowland, through his mother, reported to Internal Affairs that $2,500 and a wedding ring had gone missing from his parents’ home.

Torres was fighting back against his powerful handlers, not only complaining to Internal Affairs, but also, says Sciolla, prepared to testify against the officers in court. For weeks, Torres had shown up at Philadelphia’s Criminal Justice Center, he says, as Rowland’s hearing was scheduled and rescheduled. But after November 2, 2011, Torres arrived in handcuffs: Officers had arrested him, Hulmes said, allegedly for dealing drugs. Banning was present.

“Police Officer Banning spoke with Joshua Tores during his arrest,” Hulmes testified. “He was very detailed in what he said. … Police Officer Banning informed me that he stopped him, and everything that Joshua Tores stated was wrong, that Ricks [threatened Torres and] made him say it.”

continued from p. 14

16

POLICE PRESSURED JOSHUA TORRES TO FEED THEM INFORMATION. ‘WE SORT OF INDICATED THAT HE WAS GOING TO BE ARRESTED. WE LIED TO HIM.’ Torres may have been a drug dealer. But this arrest seemed like pure retaliation, and coercion: A police officer was involved in the arrest of a man who had recently made an Internal Affairs complaint against him, and who was reportedly prepared to testify against him in court. It appeared to be Hulmes and Banning, and not Rowland and Ricks, whom Torres truly feared.

Rowland says police then attempted to orchestrate a confrontation between himself and Torres, putting the two in the same holding cells and together on van rides on their way to court. They hoped, Sciolla says, to provoke a fight that would justify Hulmes’ contention that Rowland and Ricks posed a danger.

“He underestimated Torres’ willingness to tell the truth,” says Sciolla. “They thought they [could] threaten him, intimidate him and coerce him into coming to their side. And Torres didn’t bite.”

I

n 1963, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled in Brady v. Maryland that prosecutors must provide defense attorneys with potentially exculpatory evidence in their possession. The Brady rule is in theory a powerful tool to ensure that judges and juries arrive at a just verdict. But it relies mostly on prosecutors abiding by the honor system and thus has proven very difficult to enforce.

High-profile cases of prosecutorial misconduct are legion, but rarely punished.

Evidence that a police officer has lied is quintessential Brady material: Defense lawyers can use it to impeach, or question the credibility of, an officer’s testimony in court. But DA Williams’ office failed to turn over evidence of Officer Hulmes’ admitted perjury for more than two and a half years.

McCann, the first assistant district attorney, says the office messed up.

Hulmes’ perjury wasn’t “disclosed [to defense lawyers] prior to the time that your story was written. I would say, absolutely, that we did not handle it the way we should have handled it from that time period on, from 2011 to 2014.

These allegations should have been investigated immediately after his testimony, and they weren’t.”

The DA’s failure to play fair with defendants has cost an unknown, and perhaps quite large, number of people a fair trial. Take Gilbert Narvaez, who was convicted of drug dealing charges in August 2012 after Officer Hulmes testified to having witnessed him engage in suspected drug transactions. At the time, Narvaez says he had no idea that Hulmes had admitted to perjury.

Narvaez’s lawyer, Christopher Jay Evarts, says, “At the time of sentencing, everybody in the courtroom should have known that Hulmes had lied previously

on the record but my client was still sentenced to the maximum allowed under the law. This is a mistake in the system.”

Narvaez, who has filed a federal lawsuit, says that Hulmes’ testimony was untrue. The night of his arrest, April 20, 2011, Narvaez says that he was visiting a friend in Fairhill, and saw her brother on the corner. They started talking.

“I already knew what he was doin’. I’m not gonna’ lie about that. That’s none of my business though.” Indeed, Narvaez doesn’t hesitate to admit that he dealt drugs in the past. But “this time, I was actually innocent,” he says.

Cops stopped him and others, says Narvaez, and Hulmes “came directly to me and said ‘That’s him right there.’”

Narvaez accuses Hulmes of stripsearching him in public before he was taken to the Roundhouse.

“The cop that’s driving, he’s like, ‘If you didn’t do anything, there’s nothing for you to worry about.’ I said, ‘It’s easy for you to say.’ I said, ‘I got a criminal record.’ I said, ‘That alone, with my criminal record, is going to make this a piece of cake for the cops because my criminal record states I’ve been locked up for nothing but for drugs.’”

His son, he says, was about 18 months old when he went to prison, and now “barely knows me. We’re starting to reacquaint ourselves now.” He blames Hulmes for his troubles. He says he was locked up for 27 months.

“Where is that cool? … You’re sworn to protect the community. And when you sign an affidavit, you’re stating that everything that’s on that paper that you sign is the truth,” says Narvaez. “You don’t lie and ruin somebody’s life. That’s not right. Because of him I can’t land a job right now.”

The prosecutor in that case was former Assistant District Attorney A.J. Thomson — the same prosecutor who says he was fired last July after a number of disputes with supervisors, including over the office’s continued reliance on Hulmes’ testimony. Thomson says that he would not have put Hulmes on the stand had he known about his admitted perjury. continued on p. 18

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“[Narvaez] had no drugs or money on him and was jailed solely on Hulmes’ word,” says Thomson.

The DA has denied that Thomson “told his supervisors that Hulmes should be removed from duty or precluded from testifying,” and says he was fired for poor performance.

But Hulmes had been accused of lying in at least one prior instance. Making matters more serious, the person who made that accusation was then-Assistant District Attorney Kelly Surrick. In 2008, Surrick made an Internal Affairs complaint accusing Hulmes of lying about where a gun had been recovered in a 2007 case. She alleged that Hulmes had told her that the gun was not found in an alley, as he had stated, but rather in the defendant’s home. All purportedly to help a source.

Hulmes denied this, and Internal Affairs concluded that it could neither prove nor disprove the allegation.

There has been at least one more allegation of misconduct, resulting in an $82,500 settlement the city made in 2005 with Ruben Morales in a civil suit alleging excessing use of force involving Hulmes and other officers.

Hulmes’ arrest last week could unleash a slew of new legal filings seeking to overturn past convictions and sue in civil cases for damages.

It remains unclear who in the District Attorney’s Office knew of Hulmes’ 2011 testimony and Judge Lynn’s excoriation and ruling — and why no action was taken to prosecute Hulmes or to cease calling him as a witness.

McCann said that the DA has investigated why Hulmes’ perjury went unpunished and undisclosed. But he will not say who was responsible — who in the office knew what, when — and says that the case is not symptomatic of any larger problem.

“I’m not going to discuss the internal issues here other than to say this — that there has been training with the supervisors on issues surrounding witness credibility, Brady obligations and things of that nature.”

Thomson says that he confronted his

continued from p. 16

18

FEDERAL LAWSUIT: Gilbert Narvaez (left) and his lawyer, Christopher Jay Evarts, outside the Criminal Justice Center.

Narvaez has filed a federal lawsuit claiming Hulmes’ testimony against him in a drug trial was untrue, and that he and his lawyer should have been told of Hulmes’ perjury.

PHOTO BY HILLARY PETROZZIELLO

former supervisors at the DA — East Division Bureau Chief Angel Flores and Assistant Chief Jacqueline McCauley (married in 2011 to Joseph McCauley, a narcotics officer who sources say worked closely with Hulmes) to tell them about Hulmes. And that they did nothing.

“In the absence of any investigation or discipline of ADA McCauley, Flores or their superiors, Hulmes charges brought by the same DA’s Office are a joke,” says Thomson.

The Disciplinary Board of the Supreme Court of Pennsylvania could take action against a prosecutor who failed to “make timely disclosure to the defense of all evidence or information known to the prosecutor that tends to negate the guilt of the accused or mitigates the offense,” as required by the Pennsylvania Rules of Professional Conduct. Thomson says he plans to file a complaint. But prosecutors are almost never prosecuted or held financially liable for actions taken in the course of their job.

Rowland was likely contemplating the wide latitude granted official misconduct as he sat in a state prison in April 2012, months after Judge Lynn had thrown out the evidence against him. Rowland’s mere arrest had kept him in prison because it violated his parole. It is a system that uses a lower standard than a criminal trial’s beyond a reasonable doubt: It requires merely that an offender be proven to have committed an infraction by the preponderance of evidence — meaning only that an offense was more likely than not to have occurred.

It was up to the Pennsylvania Board of Probation and Parole to decide whether he had “likely” committed the crime — and whether to let him out. Hulmes, recently exposed as a liar in open court, admitted in his deposition that he drove out to Graterford prison to testify in Rowland’s case: Judge Lynn had only granted the motion to suppress evidence, Hulmes told the board, because Lynn and Guy Sciolla were friends. The Parole Board ruled against Rowland.

Rowland was shocked that a cop who had wrongfully arrested him had the gall to “disrespect a judge” in order to keep him locked up. Hulmes “admitted to perjury under oath [but] they still allowed him in my hearing and still took his word?”

He appealed the parole denial. But no tape of his original hearing was available.

“You know what happened to the tape, right?” asks Rowland. “It disappear.”

Board of Probation and Parole spokesperson Sherry Tate e-mails that they simply “discovered that the hearing tape was blank.” At the time they had “used cassette tapes and technical difficulties did sometimes occur,” she says,

and they switched to digital recorders in 2013. Sciolla says he was told that the tape was lost, and not blank.

The disappearance of such an embarrassing tape, he says wryly, is rather mysterious.

Whatever the case, the board suddenly rescinded its earlier decisions and let Rowland go in September 2012 — after 28 months behind bars.

Rowland and Ricks later won a $150,000 civil rights settlement from the City of Philadelphia. Rowland got married after he was released from prison and the couple has had two more daughters. Ricks is working at a dentist’s office, studying at Community College of Philadelphia, and hopes to transfer to Temple University.

Torres died in November 2012 from drug intoxication, according to McCann.

“You was worried about him dying,” Rowland says, sarcastically. “That man died from a heart attack. He died in his sleep with his daughter on his chest.

They was locking him up and all this. He was scared. … Most people are scared.

Believe it, [there are] more Arthur Rowlands out there. … My wife was scared for me to do this interview. … It took bravery for Torres to go down there [to Internal Affairs].”

But when it comes to fixing Philadelphia’s broken criminal-justice system, bravery is too often in short supply. (daniel.denvir@citypaper.net, @DanielDenvir)

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ARTS&ENTERTAINMENT

ARTS // MUSIC // THEATER // BOOKS

FEELING SCRAPPY: Nick ( Jake Blouch) holds back Martha (Catharine Slusar) from attacking George (Pearce Bunting) in Theatre Exile’s Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf ?

PAOLA NOGUERAS

CURTAIN CALL

BY DAVID FOX

NOTHING TO FEAR

Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf ? by Theatre Exile is shattering, epic and demands to be seen.

LET’S START BY celebrating the meteoric rise of Theatre Exile. In less than two decades, the company has arrived at the top level of Philadelphia’s vibrant theater scene.

The Exilers are known for their edgy sensibility — and what better way to showcase it than in Edward Albee’s Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?, a landmark work that is (to use an Albee word) the “Parnassus” of edginess. Director Joe Canuso delivers an accomplished production full of bold, original ideas. The show takes risks that bring both gains and losses; still, this is a major event, and Theatre Exile is playing in the big leagues.

If you haven’t seen VirginiaWoolf recently, you may be startled by how utterly contemporary this 50-plus-year-old-play seems — also (in the small Plays & Players Theatre),

how intimate. The skeleton structure is merely this — four characters, one set and continuous action over a period of several hours, as a pair of married couples (middle-aged George and Martha, and relative newlyweds Nick and Honey) get together for late-night, post-dinner-party drinks.

And yet — Virginia Woolf is shattering and epic. Two relationships and four lives will be analyzed — dissected, really — in an evening of revelations from which no one will emerge unscathed.

Much of what is discussed — of what actually occurred in the past — remains ambiguous. Albee’s script, written early in his career, is complex, poised between realism and absurdism. (No wonder it’s a favorite work for scholarly analysis!)

But there is no doubting that Virginia

Woolf can shake an audience to its core. It’s an unflinching immersion in booze, blood and vomit, and it has lost none of its power over the last half-century. (Actually, I take that back — Albee’s script has lost something, due entirely to a series of editorial changes he himself made in the last decade, which add an unwelcome note of conventional melodrama.)

Virginia Woolf has a history of distinguished productions, and in a fascinating sense they vary considerably, as each re-visits the play within the changing landscape of American drama.

By many accounts, the legendary first production emphasized the mysterious side. A few years later, Mike Nichols’ excellent film adaptation focused tightly on the principal characters (in career-defining performances

by Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor). A decade ago on Broadway, an interesting, if flawed, version by British director Anthony Page heightened the play’s absurdity. A few years later, another — from Chicago’s Steppenwolf Theatre — felt more realistic than any I’d seen previously.

Such is the stature of Virginia Woolf that each version had something to offer, and each found a different balance in Albee’s wild tonal mix — part confession, part tragedy, part very black comedy.

At Theatre Exile, the humor registers first.

Initially, you might imagine Neil Simon’s evil twin wrote this Virginia Woolf. The pace is fast, the conversation loudly energetic and the laughs are bountiful.

It’s an unusual approach, but in part it pays off. Catharine Slusar (Martha) is lively and seductive — we really feel her charisma, as we should. Pearce Bunting (George) displays surface joviality that helps explain why Nick would confide in him. (Later in the play, Bunting provides some brilliantly haunting moments.)

But heightened comedy also means there’s less of the roiling subtext of rage, betrayal and mistrust; also, too few of the awkward pauses that make us feel so (appropriately) uncomfortable. This Virginia Woolf needs more darkness, metaphorically and literally (the over-bright living room hasn’t enough shadows). One telling example is Martha’s long description of her boxing match with George. Here, it’s a funny anecdote, rather than a harrowing micro-portrait of their marriage, eternally mired in attraction and violence.

The younger couple is also interpreted with a lighter touch. Nick (played by Jake Blouch) is hapless, rather than conniving, while Honey

In the end, no Virginia Woolf is ‘the’ Virginia Woolf. The play is too complex for that — which is why it’s so great.

(Emilie Krause) is less neurotic than usual.

Both do well with the general badinage, but we miss the crucial sense that they are willing — even eager — participants in the carnage.

In the end, no VirginiaWoolf is “the” Virginia Woolf. The play is too complex for that — which is why it’s so great.

And why it demands to be seen here, in this daring and invested production. (david_fox@citypaper.net) Through May 17, Theatre Exile at Plays & Players Theatre, 1714 Delancy Pl., 215-218-4022, theatreexile.org.

C I T Y PA PER . N ET // APRIL 30 - MA Y 6, 2015 // PHIL ADELPHIA CIT Y PAPER

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Bonjour! “HUMOROUS AND HEARTRENDING!“

ZAC BEAVER, “AWAKE IN THE HIGH” There’s a bit to unpack here, but once you do, it sounds pretty damn cool: To make his art, Zac Beaver gets reclaimed windows from construction sites around the city. He makes reverse (so he’s painting backwards) acrylic paintings on them, of what he calls “portraiture and isolated imagery in Hanna-Barberian color and linework.” In case you forgot, the Hanna-Barbera studio created The Flintstones, Scooby Doo, The Jetsons and The Smurfs, among so many other little-kid faves.

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BARKLEY L. HENDRICKS, “OH, SNAP!” The centerpiece this year of Art Sanctuary’s monthlong Celebration of Black Writing Festival (May 1-31), Hendricks’ exhibition features works from this PAFA grad and Philadelphia native, many rarely seen. Art Sanctuary says he’s known for “his pioneering contributions to black portraiture and conceptualism.

His best known work takes the form of life-sized painted oil portraits … most frequently people of color.” This collection is just one artful part of the 31stannual festival; follow along via #CBW31 on Twitter.

Fri., May 1, 10 a.m.-4 p.m., through May 31, Art Sanctuary, 628 S. 16th St., celebrationofblackwriting.org.

For more First Friday event listings, check out citypaper.net/arts.

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DOCUMENTARY

GARDEN VARIETY: Little and Big Edie Beale pose for the camera in Grey Gardens.

GREY GARDENS

/ A / Despite a career that spanned six decades, it was inevitable that when Albert Maysles died last month, two films would dominate the media’s eulogies for the legendary documentarian: Gimme Shelter, which notoriously captured the end of Woodstock-era idealism in the killing of a Rolling Stones fan by a Hells Angel during the Altamont Festival; and Grey Gardens, the 1976 portrait of Jackie Onassis cousins Big and Little Edie Beale in their decaying East Hampton mansion captured by Maysles and his brother David. Two weeks before Albert Maysles’ final film, Iris, opens in Philly, Grey Gardens will return to screens in a new 2K digital restoration.

The film, prompted by news reports about the squalor in which Jackie O’s kin were living, is a prime example of

NEW AVENGERS: AGE OF ULTRON // B-

For all their diverse origins and motivations — Captain America is from the ’40s, Black Widow is from Russia, Thor is from Norse space, etc. — it’s uncanny that every single one of the Avengers

has Joss Whedon’s sense of humor. That functional-nerd tone is still one of the most agreeable aspects of the Marvel squad franchise, and in Age of Ultron, it ends up being a release-valve respite from the busy action sequences wearing them, and us, out. While the 2012 film enjoyed the one-time luxury of playing with power dynamics

the Maysles’ groundbreaking “Direct Cinema” approach, as the brothers simply roll camera and let the eccentric motherdaughter team tell their own story — or, in Little Edie’s case, become hypnotized by the camera’s glare and expound on her idiosyncratic fashion choices or launch into a song-anddance number. The camera becomes a fly on the wall (one of presumably many, given the feral cats and hungry raccoons given free rein of the dilapidated estate) as the two women bicker and reminisce, having constructed a semi-delusional bubble around their filthy environment and squandered fortunes. It’s not a stretch to say that Grey Gardens anticipates the more sordid future in both the schadenfreude rich-folk miserablism of the Real Housewives and the voyeuristic gaping of Hoarders. But its legacy reaches well beyond those bastard children into fashion and filmmaking, not to mention having spawned a Broadway musical and a made-for-HBO movie starring Jessica Lange and Drew Barrymore. Most importantly, it remains a fascinating look at the passing of an era of American aristocracy within the walls of one crumbling mansion. —Shaun Brady (Ritz at the Bourse) as the team assembled, this sequel needs to find new stuff for the suddenly chummy crew to do. Ooh, how about fight another monologue-obsessed alien! After making tidy work of Thor’s Goth bro Loki, Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.), somehow still popular with the public after decimating multiple cities, screws up yet again. In his

effort to channel the power of Loki’s magical scepter, Stark accidentally unleashes Ultron, a killer app turned temperamental mega-bot voiced by (who else?) James Spader. A darker and more world-weary version of Iron Man, Ultron is so over it, it meaning Planet Earth and

continued on p. 24

Film events and special screenings.

REPERTORY FILM

BY DREW LAZOR

THE COLONIAL THEATRE

227 Bridge St., Phoenixville, 610-917-1228, thecolonialtheatre.com. Creepshow (1982, U.S., 120 min.): George Romero and Stephen King’s enduring horror anthology, featuring five terrifying shorts (and King acting!). A 35mm screening. Fri., May 1, 9:45 p.m., $9. MST3K: Pod People (1983, Spain, 90 min.): Joel the Janitor and his robot buds take on an awful alien invasion movie produced on the Iberian Peninsula. Sat., May 2, 2 p.m., $9. Bolero (1934, U.S., 85 min.): George Raft plays an ambitious male dancer who weaves his way through the circuit, motivated only by his hunger for fame. A 35m screening. Sun., May 3, 2 p.m., $9.

COUNTY THEATER

20 E. State St., Doylestown, 215-345-6789, countytheater. org. Cantinflas (2014, Mexico, 102 min.): Óscar Jaenada plays Mario “Cantinflas” Moreno, the Mexican comedic legend, in this biopic. Presented by Sociedad Hispana Doylestown. Thu., April 30, 7:30 p.m., $10.50.

INTERNATIONAL HOUSE

3701 Chestnut St., 215-387-5125, ihousephilly.org. Harun Farocki Recent Work: The late German filmmaker’s contemporary pieces, including Parallel I-IV, the last completed work before his death, accompanied by a panel discussion on his influence. Thu., April 30, 7 p.m., free (RSVP required). Bestiaire (2012, Canada, 72 min.): Director Denis Côté’s abstract but compelling exploration of the nuanced relationship between humans and animals.

Fri., May 1, 7 p.m., $9. eX-Fest Part V: Exhumed Films’ epic 12-hour movie marathon, featuring the strangest, wackiest and goriest offerings you’ll ever see — all in 35mm.

Hope you already got your ticket. Sat., May 2, 11 a.m., $30.

PFS THEATER AT THE ROXY

2023 Sansom St., 267-639-9508, filmadelphia.org/roxy.

Kurt Cobain: Montage of Heck (2015, U.S., 132 min.): Brett Morgen crafts a never-before-seen picture of legendary Nirvana frontman Kurt Cobain, relying on rare footage and unprecedented interviews. Thu., April 30, 7:30 p.m., $10.

RITZ AT THE BOURSE

400 Ranstead St., 215-440-1181, landmarktheatres.com.

Kung Fu Killer (2014, Hong Kong/China, 100 min.): Martial arts megastar Donnie Yen stars in this Hong Kong hit, about an imprisoned master fighter who teams up with a cop to catch a near-unstoppable murderer. Fri., May 1, midnight, $10. To Catch a Thief (1955, U.S., 106 min.): Cary Grant as a slick cat burglar who tries to get one over on a loaded jewelry maven (Philadelphia’s own Grace Kelly). Thu., April 30, 2 p.m.; and Sat., May 2, noon; $8.

TROCADERO THEATRE

1003 Arch St., 215-922-6888, thetroc.com. Spaceballs (1987, U.S., 96 min.): “See, there’s two sides to every Schwartz.” Mon., May 4, 8 p.m., $3.

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MOVIE SHORTS

Pictures IN THE PARK TT UU EE SS DD AA YY SS AA TT DD UU SS KK M M AA YY 55 -- JJ U U N N EE 33 00

Get lost in the latest Hollywood blockbusters right in the cozy confines of William Penn’s new front yard. Grab a drink and dinner at the café first, and then settle into your lawn chair for a one-of-a-kind cinema experience.

MAY

all its stupid inhabitants.

Though many of the Marvel fanboys just want to see stuff get vaporized for two-plus hours (totally fine), the one column The Avengers had left to fill was honest character development beyond the heroes’ origin stories. They get a convenient tool to do so here in Elizabeth Olsen’s Scarlet Witch, whose powers of manipulation thrust each team member into opioid fugue states revealing their inner neuroses. These explorations vary in effectiveness — the revelation that Jeremy Renner’s Hawkeye is actually a talented HGTV-style homesteader is particularly funny — but they at least break up the monotony of the crew busting up the hundreds of robo foot soldiers Ultron sics on them. You’ve seen one Hulk smash, you’ve seen ’em all — but this time, we actually get a little Hulk love.

Weird, but it works. —Drew Lazor (wide release)

THE MAFIA KILLS ONLY IN SUMMER // C-

Well, it worked for Roberto Benigni. Italian TV host and comedian Pierfrancesco “Pif” Diliberto doesn’t mug as egregiously as Benigni, and the legacy of Mafia assassinations in Diliberto’s native Palermo isn’t as tasteless a backdrop as a Nazi concentration camp, but The Mafia Kills Only in Summer definitely follows in the footsteps of Life Is Beautiful in its tone-deaf juxtaposition of a trite coming-of-age tale with real-life horrors. Co-written and directed by Diliberto, the film focuses on Arturo (Alex Bisconti as a child and, jarringly, the 42-year-old Pif at college age), a young man with dreams of becoming a journalist whose Sicilian youth keeps colliding with bullet-riddled bodies.

Pitched somewhere between Radio Days and Zelig, the story traces the hapless Arturo’s lifelong infatuation with his pretty classmate Flora, which is continually

complicated by the Cosa Nostra’s war on lawmakers determined to push back against their violent reign.

The tone of the film shifts uncomfortably between broad comedy, sentimental nostalgia and bloody tragedy, all of which would surely play better to a hometown audience familiar with the parade of politicians, police officers and judges that march onscreen only to meet an abrupt, explosive end. Little more than cutesy types, Arturo and Flora don’t make a much bigger impression, especially as their screen time is trampled by Diliberto’s incessant narration. —Shaun Brady (Ritz at the Bourse)

citypaper.net/movies

5,12,19,26

JUNE 2,9,16,23,30 ALL MOVIE TITLES ARE AVAILABLE AT CCDPARKS.ORG.

BIGGIE! 3 YEARS OLD

I’m Biggie, a 3-year-old female orange tabby with a personality as big as my name! I’m a friendly cat with a sassy side. I’d prefer to be your only pet, so I can have your attention all to myself.

AT CITY HALL

ADO

ME

PT

Schedule & programs subject to change.

Meet Biggie at PAWS Northeast Adoption Center at 1810 Grant Avenue (at Bustleton).

All PAWS animals are spayed/neutered, vaccinated, and microchipped before adoption.

For more information, call 215-238-9901 or email adoptions@phillypaws.org

C I T Y PA PER . N ET // APRIL 30 - MA Y 6, 2015 // PHIL ADELPHIA CIT Y PAPER

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SATURDAY, MAY 2nd U 11am - 8pm

Dance in the street as you enjoy rock n roll, blues, jazz, funk, R&B, alternative and other great combinations as programmed by DVT Entertainment and Brauhaus Schmitz. Three main stages and seven performance areas will feature live sets from 40+ local musicians and artists. Follow the music to the 2nd Street Plaza stage for a new outdoor lawn party complete with green grass, lawn games, chairs, beachballs and live local music. Line-ups for South Street Spring Festival include: 5th St. Stage 11:20 am 12:20 pm 1:20 pm 2:20 pm 3:20 pm 4:20 pm 5:20 pm 6:20 pm 7:20 pm

Tropical Nasty Out of The Beardspace The Berries Montgomery Streets The Royal Noise Swing That Cat Footwerk Swift Technique MPRYNT (Motown Records)

2nd St. Stage and Lawn Concert 11:00 am 12:00 pm 1:00 pm 2:00 pm 3:00 pm 4:00 pm 5:00 pm 6:00 pm 7:00 pm

Liv Devine Bluebond School Nik Greeley Band Sonnder Alright Junior Kid Felix In The Presence of Wolves Zymotic Flow East of the West

8th St. Maifest Stage 2:00 pm - 6:00 pm - HeimatKlange

Select bars and restaurants will also host music and entertainment indoors.

SOUTHSTREET.COM

COPABANANA 344 South Street REDWOOD BISTRO 340 South Street LAS BUGAMBILIAS 148 South Street BOYLER ROOM 328 South Street EYES GALLERY 402 South Street LESTER’S SHOES FOR MEN 1212 South Street SEXPLORATORIUM 317 South Street THE SWEET LIFE BAKESHOP 740 South Street PHILADELPHIA EDDIE’S TATTOOING 621 S. 4th St. BIZARRE BAZAAR 720 South 5th Street BRAUHAUS SCHMITZ 718 South Street LOVASH 236 South Street

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South Street Spring Festival is ready to rock with the Philadelphia’s best sounds, tastes, sips, shopping and sights on Saturday, May 2, 2015, from 11:00AM to 8:00PM. This giant free, all-ages outdoor block party will close down South Street (between Front and 8th) and run along Headhouse Plaza (between South and Lombard).

More than 30 eateries, bars and food trucks will serve signature and special dishes and drinks under the blue skies. More than 40 bands will rock three stages and seven performance areas. Headhouse Plaza will be transformed into a giant lawn concert complete with grass, lawn chairs, games and beachballs. Twenty-seven artists will sell their handmade wares and crafts. Children of all ages will enjoy free family fun in the expanded Kids Zone. Over 100 boutiques, small businesses and other other retailers will cater to your style, beauty, health, fitness and other shopping needs. In conjunction with the Festival, Brauhaus Schmitz will host the third annual German Maifest on the 700 block of South Street, with German beers, dancers, music, food, flower headbands and even a Maypole. Outside of Atomic City Comics (638 South Street) look for free giveaways and character appearances during Free Comic Book Day. South Street Spring Festival is free and open to the public. For the full schedule and roster of events, visit www.southstreet.com and follow @officialsouthst #SouthStFest on Twitter.

FOOD AND DRINK

**Advertorial**

Spring Festival will close South Street to traffic, and transform this historic business district into one of the city’s largest block parties. Enjoy al fresco dining and sips from 30+ restaurants, bars, vendors and food trucks. Look for everything from free samples, to special one-off dishes, to signature favorites, to specially priced grab-and-go.

Pricing will vary by vendor and ranges from free samples to pay-as-you-go. Early list of restaurants, bars and food trucks:

THE KIDS ZONE The Kids Zone on the 200 block will be packed all day with engaging activities for the young and the young at heart. Let your young artists express themselves with hands-on art and craft projects. Activities and vendors will include “Discover Your Inner Artist” chalk art area, Art/GAGE activities, Metro Kid’s Club, Nest Philly, Philadelphia Police Bike Safety Program, Rios Investments, School of Rock, South Street Magic and more. Look for additional Kids Zone activities to be announced. Look for music and entertainers on the Kids Zone stage. Outside of the Kids Zone, look for other child-friendly activities throughout the entire festival including free comic books and character appearances outside Atomic City Comics, Art/GAGE Maifest flower headband making, family-friendly vendors and restaurants, and other surprises.

C I T Y PA PER . N ET // APRIL 30 - MA Y 6, 2015 // PHIL ADELPHIA CIT Y PAPER

G;8 FJXXG ?<9X 5T>XF;BC 3OUTH 3TREET s Come See Us at the South St. Spring Festival - on the 600 block of South Street

Serving Philly's Best Banana Pudding, Cupcakes, Cookies & More Find us on Yelp

Twitter @sweetlifephilly

& Instagram

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ART/GAGE - ARTS AND BUSINESS PARTNERSHIP HEADQUARTERS

£Ó£ÓÊ- ÕÌ Ê-ÌÀiiÌÊ* >`i « >ÊUÊÓ£x Îä ÓÎnÓ iÃÌiÀÃÃ iÃv À i °V ÊUÊ ÕÀÃ\Ê ÊÌ ÀÕÊ->ÌÊ££> ÊÌ ÊÇ« ÊUÊ Ãi`Ê-Õ `>ÞÃ

SEXPLORATORIUM SEXUAL INTELLIGENCE

Guaranteed-Quality Body-Safe Sexuality Products

Lubricants - Male Room Sex-Ed Classes - Fetish Gear Aphrodite Gallery 2nd FL, 317 South St, Phila PA

www.sexploratorium.net

215-923-1398

Philadelphia’s Magic Gardens can’t wait to show its Philly pride for the eight year with its ART/GAGE initiative - a partnership with the neighborhood and local businesses.

Since 2007, PMG’s ART/GAGE initiative has offered interactive experiences outside of the museum and classroom to enGAGE a diverse audience with ART, furthering PMG’s mission to inspire creativity and community engagement.

4D EXPERIENCE INSIDIOUS CHAPTER 3

**Advertorial**

Experience the world of INSIDIOUS like you never have before.

The “Into The Further 4D Experience” is a fully-immersive experience that will take you physically and virtually into the world of INSIDIOUS: CHAPTER 3. Elise Ranier (Lin Shaye) will be your guide on an intense 4D experience that will bend your perception of what is ‘real’ and what is ‘the further.’ INSIDIOUS: CHAPTER 3 opens everywhere June 5th.

Presented in partnership with Allied Integrated Marketing.

SHOPPING AND VENDORS

Over 100 retailers, boutiques, non-profits and other businesses will fill the street with demos, fashions, gifts, shopping and so much more.

621 SOUTH 4TH STREET, PHILADELPHIA. PA 19147 BRING IN THIS AD AND GET A FREE T SHIRT WITH YOUR TATTOO

7 DAYS a WEEK NOON ‘til MIDNIGHT (215) 922-7384

find us on Facebook: FACEBOOK.COM/PHILLYEDDIES621

SOUTH STREET SALUTES

South Street Headhouse District salutes both public service and hometown heroes. Look for red, white and blue to indicate “South Street Salutes” tables, which will be scattered throughout the festival this year.

FOOD&DRINK

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REVIEWS // OPENIN GS // LISTIN GS // RECIPES

BEST IN SHOW: At Isot, the manti and seafood casserole shine, but the baklava is your best bet.

HILLARY PETROZZIELLO

ISOT // 622 S. Sixth St., 267-457-3622, restaurantisot.com. // Dinner: Mon.-Thu., 4-10:30 p.m.; Fri., 4-11 p.m.; Sat., 3-11 p.m.; Sun., 3-10:30 p.m. Brunch: Sat.-Sun., 10 a.m.-3 p.m. // Starters and salads, $5.95-$12.95; mains, $17.95-$27.95; desserts, $4.95-$5.95.

REVIEW

BY ADAM ERACE

SEA CHANGE

Isot brings regional Turkish cuisine to South Street.

TO HEAR FATIH KEKEC tell it, earth’s best baklava is made in his hometown of Gaziantep, Turkey, a landlocked city of a million people situated an hour north of the Syrian border. Not a lot of happy news coming out of that part of the world right now, but the baklava … A New York Times story last year reported Gaziantep’s 100 or so honey-soaked pastry shops “supply 90 percent of the baklava consumed in Turkey.” Like Champagne and Parmigiano, Gaziantep baklava made with the local breed of electric-green pistachios has EU-protected status.

This was not exactly the baklava that arrived on a little white plate peppered with pistachio dust to close out my recent dinner at Isot, Kecek’s alluring Mediterranean BYOB tucked off South Street in an old hookah bar. It was made somewhere far less exotic than Gaziantep: Patterson, N.J., where a nameless phyllo wizard (who is from Gaziantep) crafts the featherweight pistachio parcels before delivering them to Philly. “When I found [him] I was so happy because in America, I’ve never had baklava like in Antep,” explains Kekec, who’s been in the States for 15 years. “I think I

29

ate a whole tray.”

I would not blame him. This is some damn fine baklava. The layers of phyllo are golden and brittle as the pages in an ancient text, the ground pistachios sweetened to accent, rather than obliterate, the nuts’ natural deliciousness. You get two featherweight pieces in an order, four noisy bites of bliss.

No contest, the baklava was the best thing I ate at Isot. What preceded the pistachio confections spoke to a restaurant with potential for neighborhood go-to status, but also one with some leaky pipes to tighten up.

There’s less of a head chef at Isot (an alternate name for Turkey’s maroon Urfa pepper) than a team of cooks executing Kekec’s vision.

Kekec is not a chef, but grew up in his parents’ Antep restaurant. Before opening Isot in partnership with his family’s construction company, he held various front-of-house positions at places like the Harrisburg Hilton and Italian Bistro in South Jersey, where he lives. If those credentials don’t exactly sparkle, know that Isot does, its serene axe-shaped dining room decorated with stylish pulp-paper lanterns, mismatched Spanish tiles and potted purple leopard orchids. It’s a cool, pretty space that deserves more customers; I was the only one there on a Monday evening.

I hope the 60 seats will start filling up when word spreads about Isot’s specialties. There are some beyond the baklava, like ezme, a scarlet tomato-and-pepper dip that stoked a slow, pleasant burn. A huge bowl of delicately knitted manti (ground beef dumplings) arrived swimming in a strained yogurt sauce that should have been thicker — my guess: invading pasta water — but was nonetheless delicious with swirls of olive oil, woodsy oregano and refreshing mint. The seafood casserole served in a “soil bowl” (aka, ceramic crock) was a weird winner: curls of shrimp, tender calamari and mushrooms baked in a simple tomato sauce under a blanket of kashkaval cheese. It came to the table soupy and red, with what looked like an inch of oil that had leeched out of the cheese, but tasted great.

There’s workable hummus and cool, minty yogurt dip that would both benefit from better pita. The roasted vegetable-and-potato

dip in the meze sampler platter tasted like McDonald’s hash browns (good or bad, you decide), while the mayo-bound Russian salad of potatoes, peas and carrots looked like it came out of a deli tub at ShopRite. Oven-baked rice pudding had a restrained sweetness and flecks of pistachio, but also an unpleasant ivory skin that collapsed into the crock like a sinkhole. Right out of the oven, that might provide an interesting textural contrast, but not after a long nap in the refrigerator.

The mixed grilled meats were similarly up and down. Baby lamb chops were straight-up umami … but slightly overcooked. Kofte had a nice ratio of beef to lamb … but lacked the spice-rack complexity you expect from the Middle Eastern meatballs. Sirloin cubes were tender … but again, bland, not tasting like their alleged red pepper-yogurt marinade.

The thin-pounded chicken breast was moist … but was, you know, a chicken breast. The platter was a microcosm of the restaurant it’s served in: good, but not quite as good as you want it to be. The warm service goes a long way to help.

The seafood casserole served in a soil bowl (aka, ceramic crock) was a weird winner.

I think Isot will improve. Lunch is coming online soon, and Kekec promises nightly specials from different regions of Turkey. I’m into that idea. The cuisine of Kekec’s homeland is not one that’s been thoroughly explored in Philly; it’s a distinction he can build a really interesting restaurant upon, the way Kanella did with Cypriot food. But execution will need to be honed, plates crisper, spices more sharply tuned for Isot to catch up with that idiosyncratic gem. A bite of the baklava makes it all seem possible. (aerace.citypaper@gmail.com,@adamerace)

citypaper.net/mealticket

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STREET FARE: Spanish fries from Ishkabibble’s, a cheesesteak from Jim’s and South Street Philly Bagels.

HILLARY PETROZIELLO

GRAB AND GO

BY CAROLINE RUSSOCK

STREET EATS

As a place that’s never taken itself too seriously, South Street is home to some of the most down-to-earth and totally iconic Philadelphia fare. From oversized late night slices to fiercely regional fries, here’s a look at four of South Street’s best bites.

WHEN IT COMES TO the monster slices at Lorenzo and Sons Pizza (305 South St.), bigger is always better. This South Street staple has been satisfying post-last callers with borderline novelty-sized slices since 1988. It’s open nightly until 4 a.m.

With the motto “Where the customer is never right,” Lorenzo’s no-nonsense menu consists of only one item — cheese slices cut from 28-inch pies (with the exception of “Toppings Tuesdays”). Closed for nearly a year after a 2012 fire, Lorenzo’s is back, just as satisfying as ever and still sporting signage of a busty brunette straight out of a Def Leppard video, dripping slice in hand.

Those who know anything about a true cheesesteak experience know that the ordering process is not a pleasant one.

With it’s oniony aroma hanging like a cloud over the intersection of Fourth and South, Jim’s Steaks (400 South St.) is a perpetually packed institution that’s been around since 1976. Queue up in the narrow line

and watch while the serious grill guys chop seemingly endless hills of steak and brown the thick-cut onions in the steak’s run-off.

Once you’ve made your cheese and onion choice, your steak is sent down an assembly line, garnished, wrapped to go or left unwrapped to stay and finally rung up at the register — no credit cards here. The sunny upstairs dining room is wallpapered with signed photographs of celebs that have gotten their steak on at Jim’s (seemingly every Eagles player in history as well as a handful of 1980s Playmates), along with some serious neon action. Regardless of some strongly worded signage (“Please obtain your food from downstairs counter before occupying a table”), the steaks at Jim’s are the kind of solid meat-and-cheese bomb that requires a 45-degree-angle lean when eating to prevent the inevitable cheesesteak drip.

continued on p. 31

Those who know anything about a true cheesesteak experience know that the ordering process is not a pleasant one.

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continued f rom p. 30

STREET EATS

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TRIFECTA: Pizza from Lorenzo and Sons, Spanish fries and a steak.

HILLARY PETROZZIELLO

Let it be known that there is nothing remotely Spanish about Spanish fries.

You will never see a plate of pre-cut frozen fries tossed with fried onions and pickled cherry peppers in a tapas bar in Madrid. The only thing exotic about the Spanish fries at Ishkabibbleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s (337 and 517 South St.) is the restaurantâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s name, which is both the name of a big band song by Merwyn Bogue and aYiddish expression that roughly translates to â&#x20AC;&#x153;Do I look like I care?â&#x20AC;? The regional take marries crispy fries (frozen isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t always the worst thing when it comes to fries) with sweetly fried onions and slices of red and green hot peppers. Opt for a few pumps of Whiz out of a heated can to top them off and youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve got a low-brow plate with a combination of flavors and textures that is downright intriguing. If youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re looking for the full Ishkabibbleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s experience, pair your Spanish fries with a Gremlin, a murky

combo of lemonade and grape drink.

Philadelphia has experienced something of a bagel boom in the past year, but before newfangled bakers were custom-blending cream cheeses and rolling out bagels with black sesame and zaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;atar, South Street Philly Bagels (613 S. Third St.) was quietly boiling and baking the best bagels in the city. Not too big and never too bready, South Street Bagels serves up a menu of classics â&#x20AC;&#x201D; sesame, poppy, plain, everything, egg and onion â&#x20AC;&#x201D; as well as a few bagel-centric weekend innovations like the pizza bagel and the bagel dog, a Hebrew National blanketed in bagel dough. (caroline@citypaper.net, @carolinerussock))

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GRANDFATHERED IN: Tom Vasiliades at the bar of South Street Souvlaki.

HILLARY PETROZZIELLO

SOUTH STREET BEAT

BY CAROLINE RUSSOCK

SOUTHERN LIVING From old-school Greek to destination dining, South Street restaurateurs talk about the past, present and future of this storied strip.

S O M E T I M E S , W H E N WA L K I N G down South Street, it seems like nothing has changed. Tourists and locals line up under the onion-heavy air at Jim’s Steaks, the TLA marquee often boasts acts that are more at home in the year 1995 than 2015, and over at Copabanana and Fat Tuesday, it seems like the margaritas and hurricanes will never stop flowing.

But looking to other corners, it’s clear that the street has seen almost constant change since 1963, when the Orlons famously asked in their song,“Where do all the hippies meet?”

Street-wear shops have overtaken the spaces that once specialized in spiked dog collars and Manic Panic hair dye, and the Philadelphia Pizza Company, romantically referenced in “Punk Rock Girl,” the Dead Milkmen’s iconic ode to punk rock love, is long gone.

Headhouse Square used to be a place

where the underage contingent of the city and suburbs used to go to see and be seen (that is, sit around and generally do what teenagers do). Now, it’s the Sunday morning farmers’ market hub for the city’s finest selection of locally sourced produce.

Perhaps the best authority on the history of the iconic and ever-changing thoroughfare is TomVasiliades, who has owned South Street Souvlaki for the past 39 years.

When asked about the scene on South Street before he decided to open his nearly 40-year-old taverna, Vasiliades replies, “There was very little here. Ninety-five percent of the storefronts were all boarded up.

There were a handful of — one, two three restaurants — the one on Front Street, that Irish place. I opened and everyone else started coming. Jim’s Steaks came after me, Bridget Foy’s came after me, that’s about it.”

That’s hardly it, though. “I came from New

York in ’72 and a friend of mine took me down here after living in Jersey for about a year and a half. He says, ‘You’ve got to go down to South Street,’” Vasiliades explains. “I’d heard about South Street from the song ... and when I came down it reminded me so much of the Village in New York. And I saw the Village evolve back in early ’60s, and I just had a sense that the same was going to happen here, and it did.”

With his infinitely recognizable blue-andwhite storefront and Greek music spilling out into the street, Vasiliades might have pioneered the South Street restaurant-scape, but others quickly followed suit.

When Bridget Foy’s parents, John and Bernadette, started their bar and restaurant in 1978, it was called East Philly Cafe, named for a moniker for the neighborhood that never took off. And when Foy was born, her parents changed both the name and the concept of the restaurant.

“When it first started, it was more fine dining,” Foy says. “There were certainly less restaurants in the city. My father had come from a fine-dining background so when they made that transition that was the initial step that they took. Then they went to bar food; back in the day, it was chicken wings and quesadillas. It was a sports bar and now we’re a casual American eatery.”

Foy has grown up in the South Street restaurant game, living right around the corner and always somehow involved in the restaurant.

For the last 10 years, she has been running the front of the house. But living and working at the corner of Second and South for her entire life, sometimes it’s difficult to see the gradual transformation of South Street in its entirety.

Doug Hager, co-owner of Brauhaus Schmitz, opened his beer hall in 2009, during the height of the financial crisis. “I didn’t pick South Street,” he says. “South Street picked me.”

When scouting spots for his restaurant concept, the foot traffic sold him on South Street.

As secretary of the South Street Headhouse Business District, Hager has a lot invested in the street, which he sees as a strip with a constant ebb and flow. Next up for him is Whetstone, a new American concept, that he and Brauhaus chef Jeremy Nolen plan to open later this spring at Fifth and Bainbridge.

Being the one and only German place in

Center City to kick back a kölsch and enjoy a killer wurst was a boon to Hager from the get-go, but the niche nature of Brauhaus was hardly the only contributing factor to its success. “Everyone knows where [South Street] is,” he explains. The appeal of Nolen’s creative take on German cuisine is a draw in the colder months, but you can’t argue with the tourist foot traffic that takes over the street when the temperature rises.

Erin O’Shea, chef-partner at Southernaccented Percy Street BBQ, can’t argue with the location. When she and partners Steve Cook and Michael Solomonov, owners of Zahav and other restaurants, took over a short-lived New Orleans eatery back in 2010, O’Shea wasn’t sure what the location of her new restaurant meant. “I didn’t realize that it held such an important place in Philly history, so that has been interesting. Meeting the people who have been on the street for a long time. You get a certain reaction, ‘Oh, you’re going to South Street?’ And it wasn’t always positive.”

O’Shea sees South Street as a microcosm of the city itself. “It’s block to block. This block is this style, that block is that style, and it all depends on what you’re looking for. There is a broad attraction for a lot of different people.”

Of course, the not entirely positive reactions have been turned around by O’Shea’s remarkably delicate takes on classics like brisket, burnt-end beans and a pantry full of housecured pickles. The smell of O’Shea’s smoked meat was enough to gain her a quick and devoted following. “I joke around, but honestly it’s true, that you open up these doors and its like a mating call. This place just fills up.”

The clientele that O’Shea has seen over her five-year tenure at Ninth and South has been as varied as South Street over the years. “You have your high end — I’m going to use the word foodies — that spend their time at Vetri and Zahav, but they also enjoy coming here and appreciate what we have to offer,” she says. “Then you have the people walking down the street in flip-flops and a T-shirt and it’s lunchtime and they want to come in and get a sandwich. You have neighborhood people that we’ve come to know and love, for sure.We’ve seen people date, get married and have children.They are part of our family and we feel like we’re part of theirs.

You see everything, which is cool.”

Perhaps the most unlikely addition to the South Street restaurant scene in recent years is Serpico. Before moving to Philadelphia, Peter Serpico was the chef at Ko, the most sought-after reservation in the Momofuku family, a tiny, tasting-menu-only chef’s coun-

continued on p. 33

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33

continued f rom p. 32

SOUTHERN LIVING

RESTAURANT ROW: Brauhaus Schmitz and Bridget Foy’s.

HILLARY PETROZZIELLO

ter in Manhattan’s East Village. Opening his namesake spot with Philadelphia restaurant impresario Stephen Starr was a calculated move on his part — that won him rave reviews, not only from critics, but also from his neighbors.

“I like Seprico’s [place],” says Vasiliades.

“What a great person he is. We just met him recently. Have two years already gone by since he opened?”

The fact that Serpico, with his forwardthinking menu and destination restaurant, is already a favorite of Vasiliades barely two years in is a testament to the ever-changing and very accepting nature of the street.

When Serpico moved to Philadelphia he immediately saw potential in the former Foot Locker space where his restaurant now stands. “There was just something about it, something about the shape, something about the ceilings and something about the bones of it that I really enjoyed.”

When scouting South Street, Serpico did his homework. “I walked up and down the street, I Googled it. I didn’t know that much about it. I just knew it was a hangout spot for kids on the weekend, a great way to kill three or four hours without spending any money.”

Nearly two years later, Serpico sees so many pluses in his Sixth and South location. Unlike other neighborhoods, where multiple-bell restaurants line the streets,

South Street allows him and his team more breathing room to create a menu that marries Pennsylvania Dutch dried corn into a Mexican-accented (and gorgeously crafted) plate of ravioli, and tuck deep-fried duck leg into Martin’s potato rolls with hoisin sauce, scallions and pickles.

“I want to be able to do what we wanted to do and not what out customers dictate what we had to do,” he says. “If I was going to do this project, I wanted to be able to have freedom to do what we wanted to do as a team and then grow it from there. So that’s what we’re doing.”

Serpico has plenty of hope for the street’s future. “I think the neighborhood is just going to continue to grow and continue to mature,” he says.“WithWhole Foods coming in on Tenth and South, they’re just crushing it. Garden of Eden (a gourmet market with multiple locations in NewYork) is coming to Second and South, those are all good signs.”

Vasiliades recently opened the second floor of South Street Souvlaki (509 South St.) as a BYO tapas spot with live entertainment on the weekends. Why? “I don’t know. I got bored. I need challenges,” he says. With 39 years of South Street experience, Vasiliades is the unofficial mayor of the strip and the best person to ask about its future.

“I’ve seen it go up, I’ve seen it go down; now it’s downwards a little bit again,” Vasiliades says. “In the last few years a lot of other areas have opened up and they’ve taken a lot of the business from us.

Manayunk opened years ago and then you have Second Street, then you have Passyunk Avenue, but I think it’s going to rebound again, and I think its going to come back stronger than ever. I believe in it. I’ve seen a lot happen here, and I can sense it in a way.”

Vasiliades seems to have a sixth sense when it come to the street that he’s called home for many years. “I just have a feeling, I guess,” he says. “This street cannot stay down forever, it’s a famous street, people know about it. Nobody knows anything about Second Street or Passyunk Avenue.

South Street is a famous street and it’s been for years and years and years.” (caroline@citypaper.net, @carolinerussock)

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ROCK/POP

EVENTS

: APRIL 3O - MAY 6 :

GET OUT THERE

STEPHIN MERRITT

When he’s with The Magnetic Fields, Stephin Merritt has somewhere to hide, a grand sounding indie assembly eager to play (or at least be sympathetic to) his low-voiced version of Sondheimian chamber pop. Merritt solo projects such as 2006’s Showtunes may have sonic breadth, but lyrically they seem spare, naked and lacking that ol’ semiconfident magnetism. For this rare-treat tour (with no particular album to promote), he and cellist Sam Davol are performing acoustic versions of 26 songs from Merritt’s mighty oeuvre, one for each letter of the alphabet, played in order. After Z, he’s done. He does not respond (well) to clapping, shouted requests or encore demands. Any time you can hear the famously cranky Merritt is a good time. For you. —A.D. Amorosi

thursday

4/30

TO THE MOON

$26-$40 // Through May 17, 1812 Productions at Christ Church Neighborhood House, 20 N. American St., 215-5929560, 1812productions.org.

THEATER 1812 Productions’ 23rd original theater piece celebrates Jackie Gleason through the story of struggling actor Scottie (Scott Greer), who obsesses over The Honeymooners creator when he’s up for a commercial requiring a Gleason type, and then stumbles upon a “lost” Gleason variety show script.

Jennifer Childs’ new play honors Gleason not with an impersonation (though Greer portrays his signature characters and comic bits accurately), but an appreciation inspired by The Great One involving larger themes about pursuing dreams, the business of theater and the value of relationships.

Anthony Lawton makes a great Norton to Greer’s Ralph Kramden (in a parade of outrageous costumes by Rosemarie McKelvey), Tracie Higgins nails a version of Kramden’s long-suffering

wife, Alice, and Sean Roach plays some hilarious characters. Designer Jorge Cousineau recreates their humble apartment, surrounding it with panels that become screens, as many of Scottie’s fantasies play out on tape in black and white.

Matt Pfeiffer directs this comic adventure with that special mixture of sweetness, sadness and silliness that Gleason embodied so well. —Mark Cofta

FREE. THINK. LOVE FRANKENSTEIN

$20 // Through May 3, Cabaret Administration at the Skybox at the Adrienne, 2030 Sansom St., cabaretadministration.com.

THEATER Director Anna Frangiosa (aka Annie ABomb) and choreographer Christine Fisler’s (Lelu Lenore) Cabaret Administration revive their 2013 burlesque interpretation of Mary Shelley’s classic novel, using highly stylized sensual dance to explore the lives of Percy and Mary Shelley and their artistic circle not only as icons of romantic literature, but as idealistic anarchists and atheists. The Cabaret Administration specializes in reinventing

I LIKE YOUR TWISTED POINT OF VIEW, STEVE: $25 // Sat., May 2, 8:30 p.m., Union Transfer, 1026 Spring Garden St., 215-232-2100, utphilly.com.

GAIL O H ’ARA

literary classics, like 2014’s unique takes on The Nutcracker and The Wizard of Oz, while also emphasizing burlesque’s roots in variety and satire. —Mark Cofta

I LOVE A PIANO

$35-$40 // Through June 28, Walnut Street Theatre Independence Studio on 3, 825 Walnut St., 215-574-3550, WalnutStreetTheatre.org.

THEATER The Walnut’s

studio series concludes with a celebration of Irving Berlin (1888-1989) tunes, directed and choreographed by dynamo Ellie Mooney, who also performs the revue with Scott Langdon, Owen Pelesh and Denise Whelan. Berlin’s huge song catalog includes “God Bless

America,” “Always,” “Anything You Can Do” (from the musical Annie Get Your Gun) and, of course, “White Christmas.” He scored 19 Broadway shows and many classic movie musicals, and won Tony, Academy and Grammy awards, as well as a Congressional Gold Medal for patriotic songs.

—Mark Cofta

PHILADELPHIA ORCHESTRA

$40-$160 // Thu.-Sat., April 30-May 2, 8 p.m.; Sun., May 3, 2 p.m.; Kimmel Center, 300 S. Broad St., 215-8931999, philorch.org.

CLASSICAL When Yannick Nézet-Séguin leads the Philadelphia Orchestra through Leonard Bernstein’s

Mass, he’s treading where few have dared. Jackie Kennedy commissioned Bernstein to compose the religiously themed piece in 1971 to inaugurate the John F. Kennedy Center in tribute to America’s first Catholic president. The Jewish-raised Bernstein was a man of great conflict and the operatic work was full of creeping doubt as well as trust, faith and traditional texts. Couple that with a sonic pomposity that rivaled Mass’ rock-classical contemporaries (Jesus Christ Superstar, Godspell) and you’ve got a critically lambasted — but deliriously ambitious — work that has rarely been performed since its premiere. —A.D. Amorosi

f riday

5/1

RAGTIME REVIVALS

$25 // Fri., May 1, 6 p.m., Barnes Foundation, 2025 Benjamin Franklin Pkwy., 215-278-2000, barnesfoundation.org.

JAZZ The Barnes’ First Friday performance this month is billed as a bridge between 1920s jazz and its modern descendants, but more importantly it’s a cross-genre mallet summit.

The show will host great vibraphone, marimba and xylophone players from the classical and jazz worlds, including Stefon Harris, Warren Wolf, Leigh Howard Stevens, Jon Singer, the

C I T Y PA PER . N ET // APRIL 30 - MA Y 6, 2015 // PHIL ADELPHIA CIT Y PAPER

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C I T Y PA PER . N ET // APRIL 30 - MA Y 6, 2015 // PHIL ADELPHIA CIT Y PAPER

Escape 10 Duo and Philly’s own vibes master, Tony Miceli. —Shaun Brady

POKEY LAFARGE/ CAROLINE ROSE $18-$20 // Fri., May 1, 8 p.m., World Café Live, 3025 Walnut St., 215-222-1400, worldcafelive.com.

BLUEGRASS/ROOTS

LaFarge (pictured) is the young king of the dusty trails, a mandolinist with the

Something in the Water (Rounder Records), LaForge’s ensemble will be filled with reeds, brass and washboards for a jazzy good time. Rose, meanwhile, takes a more heartbreaking approach with her dewy but hardly doeeyed or precious psychedelic bluegrass. —A.D. Amorosi

saturday

5/2

EX-FEST PART V

$30 // Sat., May 2, 11 a.m., Inter national House, 3701 Chestnut St., exhumedf ilms.com.

bluegrassy Hackensaw Boys and a solo artist who touches on vintage hillbilly blues and western swing, ragtime and early 20th-century jazz. To complement his new album,

MOVIES Exhumed Films’ insane endurance-test festivals have unearthed several genre treasures (or at least oddities) that have surprised even savvy obsessives, so their promise of a new cult favorite-to-be in the secret lineup of this year’s eX-Fest is worth paying attention to. And that’s just one of the grindhouse delights to be had in this year’s edition of

the 12-hour marathon, the punky kid sibling to their keystone 24-hour Halloween Horrorfest. —Shaun Brady

EMILY HEARN

$14-$16 // Sat., May 2, 8 p.m., with Tyrone Wells and Dominic Balli, World Café Live, 3025 Walnut St, 215222-1400, worldcafelive.com.

FOLK/SINGER-SONGWRITER The Athens, Ga.,

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PHIL ADELPHIA CIT Y PAPER // APRIL 30 - MA Y 6, 2015 // C I T Y PA PER . N ET

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be venturing into unknown territory again by sitting in with saxophonist/composer Bobby Zankel’s adventurous Warriors of the Wonderful Sound big band as part of their new monthly first-Tuesday series. —Shaun Brady

ACTION BRONSON

$30-$42 // Sun., May 3, 9 p.m., TLA, 334 South St., 215-922-1011, tlaphilly.com.

At the corner of Henry Ave. & Wendover St., Roxborough

TOM GOULD

38

His characteristically absurdist major label bow, Mr. Wonderful (Atlantic), echoes that duality with an irreverence to “hip-hop album” protocol that’s sometimes delightful (see: phone conversations with his mom) and more often frustrating (indulgent “conceptual” stunts, wayward schlock-rock rips, a lot of highly questionable singing) while still coming through with its quota of quotables.

—K. Ross Hoffman

tuesday

5/5

BOBBY ZANKEL/ DON BYRON

$15 // Tue., May 5, 8 p.m., Painted Bride Art Center, 230 Vine St., 215-925-9914, paintedbride.org.

JAZZ Clarinetist and saxophonist Don Byron has never been easy to pin down, with projects ranging from classic gospel to the klezmer music of Mickey Katz, the soul grooves of Junior Walker, the classic jazz of Lester Young and the cartoon compositions of Raymond Scott. He’ll

wednesday

5/6

MATT INGALLS

$7-$10 // Wed., May 6, 7:30 p.m., with Dan Blacksberg and Kyle Press/ Connor Przybyszewski, Random Tea Room and Curiosity Shop, 713 N. Fourth St., museumf ire.com/events.

JAZZ Oakland-based composer/improviser Matt Ingalls creates acoustic music on the clarinet and electronic sounds via computer, though the results aren’t always very far apart. On this Fire Museum-presented bill he’ll play improvised solo clarinet, in which he employs extended techniques that can sound as glitchy and recursive as a laptop loop. —Shaun Brady

ANTON SCHWARTZ QUINTET

$10 // Wed., May 6, 8 p.m., Chris’ Jazz Café, 1421 Sansom St., 215-568-3131, chrisjazzcafe.com.

JAZZ Saxophonist Anton Schwartz writes the kind of sharp, punchy, memorable melodies that may send listeners scouring through old Blue Note reissues to find their source. On his latest, Flash Mob, Schwartz’s tunes sit comfortably alongside vintage Monk and Kenny Dorham pieces. A native Manhattanite who splits his time between Seattle and the Bay Area, the saxophonist will make an increasingly rare return to the East Coast with trumpeter Thomas Marriott and a superb Philly rhythm section. —Shaun Brady

citypaper.net/events

C I T Y PA PER . N ET // APRIL 30 - MA Y 6, 2015 // PHIL ADELPHIA CIT Y PAPER

39

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PHIL ADELPHIA CIT Y PAPER // APRIL 30 - MA Y 6, 2015 // C I T Y PA PER . N ET

JONESIN ’ “ TL;DR” I couldn’t get past the beginning. ©2015 Jonesin’ Crosswords (editor@jonesincrosswords.com)

ACROSS

1 5 9 12 14 15 16 17 18 19

INVITES YOU AND A GUEST TO SEE

22 23 24 25 28 29 35 36 37 38

LOG ON TO WWW.CITYPAPER.NET/WIN FOR ENTRY DETAILS

ADMIT TWO

Passes are limited and will awarded at random while supplies last. No phone calls, please. Limit one pass per person. Each pass admits two.

Seating is not guaranteed. Arrive early. Theater is not responsible for overbooking. This screening will be monitored for unauthorized recording. By attending, you agree not to bring any audio or video recording device into the theater (audio recording devices for credentialed press excepted) and consent to a physical search of your belongings and person. Any attempted use of recording devices will result in immediate removal from the theater, forfeiture, and may subject you to criminal and civil liability. Please allow additional time for heightened security. You can assist us by leaving all nonessential bags at home or in your vehicle.

IN THEATERS MAY 8TH

43 44 45 46 49 51 55 56 57

Coin flip Nuremberg number Agent Emanuel ___ Chris Steak House “They went this way” sign Pops Farm refrain Novelist Pier ___ Pasolini Bother Opening of Anna Kareni...

(TL;DR) Kate & ___ (‘80s sitcom) Toxic condition Sports car protector Daybreak Prominent stretch Opening of A Tale of Two Cit... (TL;DR) Gravy dish They have a flower logo “Come right ___!”

Opening of The Catcher in the R... (TL;DR) Evergreen State sch.

Star Wars: The Force Awakens character Bro’s sib Remove, like a rind Gp. that awards the Oscars Opening of Moby-D... (TL;D ... wait, I think I got the whole thing!)

Keats offering Concern Was told

60 61 62 63 64

Vardalos or Long Students take them Impressive lineup DC ballplayer Sitcom starring Sonny Shroyer 65 “Auld Lang ___”

DOWN

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 13 14 20 21 22 24 26 27 30 31 32 33 34

Three, in Turin Arles agreement Take off slyly Shameless salesperson Get ___ on the knuckles Trim the borders of Francis I’s jurisdiction Some sweet deals #2 of 44 Spokes Winners of a certain show Poolside Shrink’s org.

Spiciness This Is 40 director Judd Trump’s “The ___ the Deal” Netanyahu nickname “This is an awesome ride!”

Country hit by a recent earthquake “Don’t forget to bring ___!”

(South Park catchphrase) American Hustle actor Paid periodically Last word of some films Explosive materials

39 Offer from a sharing friend 40 Makes a decision about, in court 41 Kinsey star Neeson 42 Company that makes motorcycles, guitars and snowmobiles 46 Home of the Huskies 47 Gymnastics great Comaneci 48 Crease 50 Jury members 52 What a colon may mean 53 Takes to court 54 Guys 58 Operated, as machinery 59 Turn purple, perhaps

LAST WEEK’S SOLUTION

C I T Y PA PER . N ET // APRIL 30 - MA Y 6, 2015 // PHIL ADELPHIA CIT Y PAPER

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FEASTERVILLE 1st Flr,1BR, 1½BA w/separate entrance, washer, dryer.

Just remodeled!Slider to patio, parking space, plenty of storage, close to all major routes, shops & transportation.

Bridgetown Commons • 610-764-4231

PHILADELPHIA. 5 story, 40,000 sq ft bldg. Avail open loft office space fit out from 1,000-20,000 sq ft. Short term & long term leases avail. 50 ft away from the L stop. Contact the property manager at 267-240-8368

Your SPRING CLEANING CAN HELP FIGHT CANCER! Call for convenient pick up of your unwanted clothing, housewares and furniture. Raising funds for Fox Chase Cancer Center, Fein Chapter for 30+ years.

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Feasterville CROFTWOOD APTS/ CHALET VILLAGE 1 BEDROOM

Sales SALES PERSON - F/T for Central Bucks flooring store. Experience pref’d but willing to train the right candidate.

Benefits available. E-mail resume & cover letter: floors@barb-lin.com

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Apartments for Rent

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SOUDERTON: 1 BR $765. Includes Heat and Hotwater. Onsite laundry. No pets. Non smoking. Good credit req’d.

Senior Citizen Discount. 215-723-6333

Rooms for Rent Holland Furnished Efficiency. Private BA & entrance. Cable, WiFi & utilities included. $750 mo. Joe 215-322-2225 Morrisville, private entrance & bath, non smoking, no drugs, $600 month.

Security Deposit. Call 215-295-5146 NO SECURITY DEPOSIT ALTERNATIVE

www.westovercompanies.com

Homes for Rent NEWTOWN AREA SUMMIT 2 BR twin, 2 BA, laundry room w/washer, dryer, good carpets, new paint, garage, private yard $1350+ No pets.

Avail now. 215-932-0117

CURIOUS ABOUT MEN? Talk Discreetly with men like you! Try FREE! Call 1-888-779-2789 www. guyspy.com LAVALIFE Meet Sexy Singles with Lavalife Today 215-557-2000 FREE TRIAL! www.lavalife.com 18+ QUEST CHAT Talk to 100s of local singles tonight! 215671-4444 or 1-888-257-5757 www. questchat.com Try it FREE! 18+

ADOPTIONS ADOPTION Loving family of three seeking baby/ toddler to cherish forever. Mom/Dad are teachers. Close extended families.

Contact Robin/Neil: 866-303-0668 Text: 646-467-0499 www.rnladopt.info robin. neal.lucy@gmail.com ADOPTION Unplanned Pregnancy? Caring licensed adoption agency provides financial and emotional support. Choose from loving pre-approved families. Call Joy toll free 1-866-922-3678 or confidential email: Adopt@ForeverFamiliesThroughAdoption.org

PUBLIC NOTICES Call 609-586-3225 today for your free quote!!

Recreational Boats & Accessories CANOES & KAYAKS Rte. 563 & 412 near Lake Nockamixon.

Saturday & Sunday, 10-6pm naturecanoe.com 215-536-8964

BUY IT! SELL IT!

QUAKERTOWN 7 Beaver Run Dr. 3 BR, 2½ BA townhome. Updated and fresly painted with sunroom, plenty of storage, yard, shed. $1250/mo. plus utilities.

Call Nick 215-285-9192 Keller Williams 215-631-1995

2151 Lincoln Hwy, Middletown Twp

Autos Wanted WE BUY

NEWTOWN 3 BR, 2.5 BA. Council Rock School District. New hardwood floors & new carpeting. 2 car gar, new hot water heater, new granite kitchen counter tops. $2400. 215-292-6031

Townhouses for Rent

Beautiful 28x60 Modular Home for Sale in Bensalem. Please Call Terry’s Mobile Homes 215-639-2422

• Unwanted Vehicles • Wreck/Flood Damaged • Non-running • Free Towing IF IT HAS WHEELS, WE BUY IT!!!

Transportation DRIVERS WANTED FT/PT Busy taxi company in Lower Bucks needs drivers now.

Please call: 215-333-1111

Mobile Homes

ADULT PHONE ENTERTAINMENT

Call us to start your classified ad.

1-866-938-3010

ALL AREAS ROOMATES.COM Lonely? bored? Broke? Find the perfect roommate to complement your personality and lifestyle at Roomates.com!

BUSINESS SERVICES AIRBRUSH MAKEUP ARTIST COURSE For: Ads . TV . Film . Fashion. HD & Digital. 40% OFF TUITION For Limited Time. Train & Build Portfolio . One Week Course. Details at: AwardMakeupSchool. com 818-980-2119 (AAN CAN) $$ WANTED $$ COMIC BOOKS Pre-1975: Original art & movie memorabilia, sports, non-sports cards, ESPECIALLY 1960’s. Collector/ Investor, paying cash! Call Will: 800-2426130 buying@getcashforcomics.com

HELP WANTED CAN YOU DIG IT? Heavy Equipment Operator Career! Receive Hands On Training And National Certifications Operating Bulldozers, Backhoes & Excavators. Lifetime Job Placement. Veteran Benefits Eligible!

1-866-757-9439

DRIVERS EXPERIENCE AMERICA! Quality DriveAway is looking for CDL Drivers. Enjoy discovering America by delivering School Buses and Semis. Since we have a variety of runs and don’t force dispatch, our drivers enjoy the freedom of a flexible schedule and seemingly endless possible destinations. Begin your journey today and call 1-866-764-1601 or visit www.

QualityDriveAway.com.

HELP WANTED DRIVERS Drivers-No experience? Some of LOTS of experience? Let’s Talk! No matter what stage in your career, its time, call Central Refrigerated Home. 888-673-0801 www.

CentralTruckDrivingJobs.com HELP WANTED- OFFICE/ CLERICA Help Wanted- Office/Clerical PT Clerical Person needed from Monday-Friday, $600.00 weekly.Computer skills are a must. Need to be detail oriented, possess good customer service skills, some cash & items handling skills, Apply Email: johntoadd@aol.com SALES Make your own schedule. Commissionbased sales for print network ad program.

Self-starter, motivated, experience in advertising sales a plus. Please send resume to jobs@pa-news.org SAWMILLS SAWMILLS from only $4397.00 MAKE MONEY & SAVE MONEY with your own bandmill-Cut lumber any dimension. In stock ready to ship. FREE Info & DVD: www.NorwoodSawmills.com/300N 1-800-578-1363 Ext. 300N. START YOUR HUMANITARIAN CAREER! Change the lives of others while creating a sustainable future. 1, 6, 9, 18 month programs available. Apply today! www.

OneWorldCenter.org 269-591-0518 info@oneworldcenter.org TRUCK MECHANIC/WELDER This is a mechanic position playing a critical role in our growing repair services of heavy duty refuse equipment, including various makes/models of sweepers, boom trucks, and refuse equipment.

Mechanics perform a variety of duties related to the repair of heavy truck bodies and trucks with focus on complete chassis, body and hydraulic equipment repairs. Technicians are responsible for diagnosing operational problems and making repairs on the trucks and hydraulic equipment. In addition to great jobs, we offer great benefits: Positive work environment Aggressive market based pay Employer Paid Medical, Dental, Vision & Life Insurance 401(k) with Company Match Paid Time Off & Paid Holidays Send Resumes to hr@ mawaste.com or fax to 866-723-5250

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IMMEDIATE OPENINGS $500.00 hiring bonus offered WANT AN IN-DEMAND CAREER AS A HVAC TECHNICIAN? Offering Accelerated “hands on” training to get EPA/OSHA Certified! Lifetime job placement. VA Benefits eligible! 1-877963-9644 WERNER ENTERPRISES IS HIRING! Dedicated, Regional, & OTR opportunities! Need your CDL? 4 wk training avail! Don’t wait, call today to get started!

866-494-8633

LEARNING CURVE DIRECTORY EDUCATION MEDICAL BILLING TRAINEES NEEDED! Train to become a Medical Office Assistant! NO EXPERIENCE NEEDED! Online training gets you job ready! HS Diploma/GED & PC Internet needed!

1-888-424-9412.

INSURANCE AUTO INSURANCE STARTING AT $25/ MONTH! Call 855977-9537

HOME SERVICES KILL BED BUGS! Harris Bed Bug Killers/KIT. Available: Hardware Stores. Buy Online/Store: homedepot.com

LAND/ LOTS FOR SALE LAND FOR SALE Spectacular 3 to 22 acre lots with deepwater access – Located in an exclusive development on Virginia’s Eastern Shore.

Amenities include community pier, boat ramp, paved roads and private sandy beach. May remind you of the Jersey Shore from days long past. Great climate, boating, fishing, clamming and National Seashore beaches nearby. Absolute buy of a lifetime, recent FDIC bank failure makes these 25 lots available at a fraction of their original price. Priced at only $55,000 to $124,000. For info call (757)442-2171, e-mail: oceanlandtrust@ yahoo.com, pictures on website: http:// Wibiti.com/5KQN

APARTMENTS FOR RENT OLD CITY $1750.00, 2 bdrm apt. Brand new 1.5 baths, all new S.S kitchen. All hardwood floors, spiral staircase, new windows with lots of light. C/A, W/D. 1200 Sq ft. Pet friendly, parking extra. 215-925-7500 ext. 213. rene@tuckerrealtycorp.com

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PHIL ADELPHIA CIT Y PAPER // APRIL 30 - MA Y 6, 2015 // C I T Y PA PER . N ET

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