Philadelphia City Paper, May 1st, 2014

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contents A CLEAN SWEEP

WOOD WORKS

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NAKED CITY | Ryan Briggs writes about how Balti-

FOOD | Expertly crafted cocktails, a brainy wine list and fantastic wood-fired fare are all pretty much perfect at the newly opened Petruce et al, but it’s the sweet potatoes that rendered Adam Erace speechless. And we’ve got news on the return of Maru Global’s Ryo Igarashi and Ronin Kitchen, a Thursday-Friday-Saturday pop up in Society Hill that’s approaching Asian cooking with a decidedly wide worldview.

more found a way to restore street sweeping, and what it would cost to reduce the tide of litter here.

CRIMINAL MIND

11

COVER STORY | Michael Pelusi hunts down ris-

ing local crime novelist Dennis Tafoya.

ANOTHER DOSE MUSIC | Philly band Thorazine reunites, thanks

in part to an army of taxidermied squirrels.

MAKING THINGS OUT OF THINGS

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FIRST FRIDAY FOCUS | Holly Otterbein on art in

the age of the mechanical Venus flytrap.

CHEAP THRILLS

19

NEAL SANTOS

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MOVIES | Revenge film Blue Ruin makes a big

statement with a small Kickstarter budget.

TROUBLE AT THE TRAILER PARK

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THEATER | “Naked but for an apron and an oxy-

gen tank, Ulysses unexpectedly finds his wife, Emma, at his trailer door.�

NAKED CITY 7 Editor’s Letter: Journalists are watching // A&E 18 After 25 years, A.D. Amorosi retires his Icepack column (but he’s not out of the gossip game) 19 Album reviews: Damon Albarn, The Menzingers, etc. // MOVIES 25 Reviews of Dancing in Jaffa, Fading Gigolo and The Amazing Spider-Man 2 // CITYPAPER.NET Vote for the best/worst/bestworst band names in Philly history // COVER Photograph by Neal Santos; Design by Allie Rossignol

STAFF Publisher Nancy Stuski Editor in Chief Lillian Swanson Senior Editor Patrick Rapa Arts & Culture Editor Mikala Jamison Digital Media Editor/Movies Editor Paulina Reso Food Editor Caroline Russock Senior Staff Writers Daniel Denvir, Emily Guendelsberger Staff Writer Ryan Briggs Copy Chief Carolyn Wyman Associate Web Producer Carly Szkaradnik Contributors Sam Adams, Dotun Akintoye, A.D. Amorosi, Rodney Anonymous, Mary Armstrong, Meg Augustin, Bryan Bierman, Shaun Brady, Peter Burwasser, Mark Cofta, Alison Dell, Adam Erace, David Anthony Fox, Caitlin Goodman, K. Ross Hoffman, Deni Kasrel, Alli Katz, Gary M. Kramer, Drew Lazor, Gair “Dev 79� Marking, Robert McCormick, Andrew Milner, Annette Monnier, John Morrison, Michael Pelusi, Sameer Rao, Elliott Sharp, Marc Snitzer, Tom Tomorrow, John Vettese, Nikki Volpicelli, Brian Wilensky Editorial Interns Larry Miller, Maggie Grabmeier, Edward Newton, Robert Skvarla, Thomas O’Malley Production Director Michael Polimeno Editorial Art Director Allie Rossignol Advertising Art Director Evan M. Lopez Senior Editorial Designer Brenna Adams Editorial Designer Jenni Betz Staff Photographer Neal Santos Contributing Photographers Jessica Kourkounis, Mark Stehle 4 | P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R |

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Contributing Illustrators Ryan Casey, Don Haring Jr., Joel Kimmel, Cameron K. Lewis, Thomas Pitilli, Matthew Smith Human Resources Ron Scully (ext. 210) Circulation Director Mark Burkert (ext. 239) Sales & Marketing Manager Katherine Siravo (ext. 251) Account Managers Colette Alexandre (ext. 250), Nick Cavanaugh (ext. 260), Amanda Gambier (ext. 228), Thomas Geonnotti (ext. 258), Sharon MacWilliams (ext. 262) Office Coordinator/Adult Advertising Sales Alexis Pierce (ext. 234) Founder & Editor Emeritus Bruce Schimmel citypaper.net 30 South 15th Street, Fourteenth Floor, Phila., PA 19102. 215-735-8444, Tip Line 215-735-8444 ext. 241, Listings Fax 215-875-1800, Advertising Fax 215-735-8535, Subscriptions 215-735-8444 ext. 235 The printing of City Paper was provided by Calkins Media (215-949-4224). Philadelphia City Paper is published and distributed every Thursday in Philadelphia, Montgomery, Chester, Bucks & Delaware Counties, in South Jersey and in Northern Delaware. Philadelphia City Paper is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. Additional copies may be purchased from our main office at $1 per copy. No person may, without prior written permission from Philadelphia City Paper, take more than one copy of each issue. Pennsylvania law prohibits any person from inserting printed material of any kind into any newspaper without the consent of the owner or publisher. Contents copyright Š 2014, Philadelphia City Paper. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced without written permission from the publisher. Philadelphia City Paper assumes no obligation (other than cancellation of charges for actual space occupied) for accidental errors in advertising, but will be glad to furnish a signed letter to the buying public.

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naked

the

city

thebellcurve CP’s Quality-o-Life-o-Meter

[ -6 ]

Federal and local prosecutors decide not to pursue criminal charges against the cops who allegedly terrorized 22 Philadelphia bodega owners — as chronicled in the Daily News’ 2009 Pulitzer Prize-winning series “Tainted Justice.” Well, what do you expect with a title like that? Next time, try something more upbeat, like “Justice Possible” or “The System Works” or “Prosecuties! Meet 10 attorneys who fight for what’s right and look good doing it.”

[ -2 ]

TD Bank forecloses on Suzanne Roberts Theatre because Philadelphia Theatre Company stopped making mortgage payments. “So once again you come crawling back to me, seeking solutions,” says Suzanne.

[ +1 ]

[ +1 ]

[ 0]

[ -4 ]

UPenn researchers publish a study in Sleep Magazine about the restorative power of sleep among fruit flies fighting illness.“Yeah, and we’d like to thank you guys for always making us sick and sleepy,” says a local fruit fly.“You know our lifespan’s about three months, right? I had plans. I was going to write a screenplay about modern fruit flies who go back to medieval times and get into all kinds of wild adventures. Yeah, I saw Timeline. This was going to be better.” Irish company S3 Group says it set up an office in Center City primarily to be close to Comcast.“We’re working on a machine that turns hubris into gold,” says an S3 spokesperson, “which we’ll then barter for wishes with the leprechauns back home.” A 19-year-old former Drexel student launches an advertising company that he says will soon use drones to fly banners around the city. “I know it sounds really dumb and annoying — and I know most of you are betting that it’ll never happen,” he says. Then he’s quiet for awhile. Philadelphia is owed a half billion dollars in “nuisance liens” for demolishing or maintaining abandoned privately owned properties. “We’re ready to pay what we owe,” say local ghosts. “Do you accept ghost money?”

This week’s total: -10 | Last week’s total: +2 6 | P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R |

UN-LITTER THIS: Retired environmental engineer Kelly O’Day at Tacony Creek, where litter from nearby streets washes into storm drains and, eventually, the creek itself. MARK STEHLE

[ litter ]

TRASH CAN’T What’s really keeping Philly from cleaning up its streets. By Ryan Briggs n a recent Wednesday morning, the rugged, trash-strewn blocks of East Baltimore saw something they hadn’t seen in a long time: a street sweeper. After a decades-long hiatus, the city started cleaning up litter again on a vast scale — 90 percent of Baltimore’s streets will now be swept at least once a month. “We decided that all neighborhoods of this city should have a chance to get their streets swept,” says Jeff Raymond of the Baltimore Department of Public Works. That might seem like a miraculous event to Philadelphians, accustomed to our city’s tide of litter and the government’s halfhearted efforts to address the lingering problem of trash. But the cost of Baltimore’s ambitious undertaking? Just $3.25 million, according to Raymond. It might sound too good to be true, but what’s even more unbelievable is that officials in Philadelphia say it might be even cheaper to clean up our famously trash-choked city — in fact, a bigger obstacle than money could be city residents themselves. But first let’s get to the cash. “To mechanically clean the entire city on a bi-weekly basis we estimate that it would require an initial capital investment of $18

O

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million for equipment and $3 million in annual salaries,” says June Cantor, spokesperson for Philadelphia’s Streets Department, which handles municipal-trash collection and street-cleaning duties. That’s right — $3 million a year to clean the entire city twice a week. To put that number into perspective, this year the city will spend $2.5 million of its $4.5 billion budget to renovate a single dilapidated canoe house on Kelly Drive. Not that you should expect to see street sweepers on your block anytime soon. “Currently there are no plans to purchase additional equipment to expand mechanical street cleaning in the city,” adds Cantor. Although Philadelphians love to harp about litterbugs, the city’s reputation for filth also stems from the pittance the municipality invests in street cleaning. The Streets Department says it doesn’t separate out street sweeping costs in its budget, but city records show that only $4.5 million of its $45.1 million Sanitation Division budget is paid to salaries for “cleaning.” Since 2009, the city has only sent mechanized sweepers down selected commercial corridors, while a few other areas are cleaned by outside organizations, like the Center City District, that levy a special tax on businesses. Residential neighborhoods and areas that are too poor to kick in money for extra sanitation services are effectively on their own.

City residents could be the biggest obstacle.

>>> continued on adjacent page

[ is awash in trash ] ✚ Trash Can’t <<< continued from previous page

It wasn’t always like this — not that long ago, Philadelphia was regarded as one of the cleanest big cities in America. Up to the 1970s, the Streets Department employed more than 5,000 people, underpinned by millions in federal grants designed to beef up municipal workforces. That money helped the Sanitation Division pay for over 500 “block people” — men with brooms who literally swept every block in the city by hand. But in the 1980s, the Reagan administration gutted federal employment grants, just as middle class flight was decimating city revenues. Within a 10-year span, street-cleaning crews were cut in half. Today, the Streets Department staff has been reduced through attrition to 1,789 people, most of whom man the city’s garbage trucks. Just 22 employees are specifically assigned to street cleaning, says Cantor. However, the old anti-litter program was as comprehensive as it was inefficient. Modern mechanical street sweepers can clean much larger swaths of the city in much less time than an army of men with brooms — and there may be room for even more savings and extra manpower among the city’s fleet of garbage trucks. Philadelphia rolled out its current model of compacting trucks in 1988, a move designed to save man-hours because higher-capacity trucks required fewer trips to city dumps for off-loading. But the city never realized the savings from that new technology because municipal unions fought the city’s attempt to reduce sanitation crews from three men to two. “The initial reaction from the unions was, ‘Oh my God, these are job killers,’” says Peter Hoskins, who served as streets commissioner shortly after the truck upgrade. Hoskins says the city got the new trucks by cutting a deal to keep the larger trash crews.

“It was literally a compromise, instead of finding a way to get to a two man crew, which was politically difficult,” he said. Today, the city says the three-person crews can pick up larger bulk items and are generally more productive. However, a 1998 study by New York City, which switched to two-person crews in the ’80s, found its trash-collection efficiency only dipped by 10 percent after the staff reductions. Eventually, collection rates returned to their original levels, matching those of cities that still employed threeman crews, including Philadelphia. With the relatively low cost of modern street cleaning and, potentially, sanitation workers to spare, Philadelphia should be poised to introduce more robust litter collection. But the failure to do so may be caused by something much more mundane than money or staff cuts — namely, parking. “Many residents do not wish to move their cars [on street-cleaning days]. … Even when we had the limited residential program, many neighborhoods declined the service,” Cantor says. Indeed, back issues of the Daily News are replete with residents’ complaints about street-cleaning-related parking tickets. But some say the city inspired such neighborhood resistance precisely because it relied on an aggressive ticketing approach in dealing with people who didn’t move their cars. In Baltimore, which had faced similar issues with parking compliance in the past, the city is simply cleaning during the day, when there are fewer cars parked on city streets, and experimenting with a voluntary compliance system — basically, if you don’t move your car, you

Baltimore sweeps during the day.

>>> continued on page 8

photostream ➤ submit to photostream@citypaper.net

GOOD HUMOR GUYS: A truck pulls up to a house in Center City to begin a day of roof repairs. The photographer luckily had his point and shoot with him as he walked his dog and spotted this scene in late March. “I was struck by the roofers’ good sense of humor,” he says. ROB LYBECK

editor’sletter By Lillian Swanson

ON NEWS WATCH ➤ A JUDGE’S DECISION in Delaware last week, favoring George Norcross’ path to ending the stalemate at the Philadelphia Inquirer, Daily News and philly.com means we will get some clear answers very soon about the future of these publications. The main question is: Will the dailies continue to be serious publications? The private auction this month among the owners of Interstate General Media could leave the properties in Norcross’ hands. Or the Lewis Katz-led group could bring out even more cash. What I worry about most is what could happen to the values that good journalists hold dear. The sense that each story needs to be fair, accurate and clear. That the content expresses the worldviews of disparate parties, that crooks find it hard to hide and that the voices of the powerless are heard. Norcross is a political power broker who has a vested interest in pushing his own policies and candidates. How that squares with running independent newspapers is beyond me. How can we, as readers, be sure that the papers will aggressively seek out stories of malfeasance and wrongdoing wherever they arise? What stories won’t be written? What I do know is that I am already a bit wary of what I’m reading in the Inquirer. Why did they bring out the World War III type for the first story on Kathleen Kane’s decision to end the sting operation that netted five Democrats? Was the 50th anniversary of Wawa worth the display it got on Page One on a Sunday? What’s with all this ink about a Century 21 store coming to Philly when every serious shopper has visited that New York City mecca? Good journalistic reasons may underpin each of these decisions, but a seed of doubt has been planted in my mind. Walter Annenberg once used the Inquirer as his personal political weapon, and it took years to turn the publication into a Pulitzer-worthy newspaper. That was accomplished by world-class editors who hired the best reporters they could find, paid them well and set them free to dig for stories. That is what this “corrupt and contented” big city needs and deserves. Whoever wins this fight needs to know that those of us who once worked for these publications — an alumni army — are watching the outcome. Don't let us down. (lswanson@citypaper.net)

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ADDICTION IS DIFFICULT. GETTING HELP ISN’T.

Bonjour !

[ the naked city ]

✚ Trash Can’t

We’re ready to help you right away. Simply contact us and within 24 hours you could be on your journey to recovery.

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Choose your start date. Summer classes begin May 12, May 27 and July 7. Apply early. Classes fill quickly. Learn more or apply online today at www.ccp.edu.

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<<< continued from page 7

Two days after a cleanup, Philly is dirty again. end up being the jerk that’s keeping the block dirty. So far, Raymond says, it seems to be working. Ultimately, there’s no real excuse for Philadelphia’s failure to continue experimenting with litter removal — beyond mere aesthetics, it’s a service that inspires confidence in local government and raises property values. But local sanitation veterans, like Hoskins, say that the city mostly offers half-efforts. “Every mayor always wants to have a big cleanup day. But that’s not that helpful because you spend an enormous amount of energy gathering people to clean up the whole city in one day and then two days later it looks dirty again,” he says. “You can’t have a clean city without daily attention.” Others say out-of-control trash can also have widespread environmental impacts. In fact, Baltimore’s new street-cleaning program largely grew out of concerns that litter from city streets was destroying the Chesapeake Bay’s ecosystem. Retired environmental engineer Kelly O’Day has devoted his golden years to cleaning up Philadelphia’s parks and waterways. But it’s a Sisyphean task because some city storm drains flush directly into streams, like Tacony Creek in Northeast Philadelphia. So, no matter how clean the surrounding parks are kept, trash continues to wash up from nearby streets, and plastic bags, Styrofoam containers and soda bottles get snagged on rocks and trees or flow into the Delaware. “[This is] all part of the uncollected trash issue,” says O’Day, reviewing photos he’s taken of trash-filled creek beds. “A lot of it degrades very slowly, so much of it makes its way to the Atlantic Ocean.” The city has recognized the problem, and says it has started cleaning “major streets abutting Tacony Creek” once a month. But O’Day, who also advocates for bottlerecycling-reward programs, more sidewalk trash cans and a ban on plastic bags, says the city’s latest effort isn’t enough. “While I am grateful, the city needs a lot, lot, lot more,” he says. (ryan.briggs@citypaper.net)

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The Fabric Workshop and Museum 1214 Arch Street The New Temporary Contemporary 1222 Arch Street, Philadelphia, PA

INVITE YOU AND A GUEST TO A SPECIAL ADVANCE SCREENING OF

Monday, May 5 Ritz Five 214 Walnut Street VISIT FOXSEARCHLIGHTSCREENINGS.COM AND ENTER THE CODE: PHILACITYPAPER THIS FILM IS RATED PG FOR THEMATIC ELEMENTS, SOME LANGUAGE AND BRIEF SMOKING IMAGES. Please note: passes received through this promotion do not guarantee you a seat at the theater. Seating is on a first come, first served basis, except for members of the reviewing press. Theater is overbooked to ensure a full house. No admittance once screening has begun. All federal, state and local regulations apply. A recipient of tickets assumes any and all risks related to use of ticket, and accepts any restrictions required by ticket provider. Fox Searchlight Pictures, Philadelphia City Paper and their affiliates accept no responsibility or liability in connection with any loss or accident incurred in connection with use of a prize. Tickets cannot be exchanged, transferred or redeemed for cash, in whole or in part. We are not responsible if, for any reason, recipient is unable to use his/her ticket in whole or in part. All federal and local taxes are the responsibility of the winner. Void where prohibited by law. No purchase necessary. Participating sponsors, their employees and family members and their agencies are not eligible. No phone calls!

IN SELECT THEATERS MAY 9

Philadelphia Photographers: Will Brown

SATURDAY,

May 2, 2014–July 20, 2014

MAY 31

Public Opening Reception Friday, May 2, 2014, from 6:00–8:00pm Members-only artist talk by Will Brown at 6:00pm Also Opening on Friday, May 2, 2014 Exhibitions of work by Philadelphia Photographers David Graham and Ray K. Metzker Free parking on Friday, May 2 provided for Members and Donors for artists talks and opening Membership $20 and up

Free and Open to the Public 7 Days a Week

fabricworkshopandmuseum.org

215.561.8888

facebook.com/fabricworkshop

ROW WALK HUNT

@fabricworkshop

Image: Will Brown, New Tin II, 1973, 5” high x 7 5/8” wide, silver gelatin print.

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Three fun events

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Enter to Win Tickets at Citypaper.net/win

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a&e

artsmusicmoviesmayhem

icepack By A.D. Amorosi

➤ LET’S CUT TO the chase. This is the last Ice-

pack you’ll see in City Paper. When you look online, you’ll see the last Icepack Illustrated. Don’t get excited. Everything is amicable between CP and me, and I will have plenty of music and arts features to come in these pages. As far as Icepack’s A&E news, faces, food and gossip go, CP and I are going in different directions. With that, I will be writing a gossip/scene column in Metro Philadelphia — it will have a new name and publish on Wednesdays to start — to go with my other new work to be found in Where and Geekadelphia, along with my usual daily work in GlamorosiMagazine.com and the Inquirer and its websites, monthly in Icon, and bi-monthly in Philadelphia Style. Phew. Now that that’s out of the way, I can tell you what a great time I’ve had doing Icepack in CP for nearly 25 years.That amount of time alone is reason for CP and me to want to freshen up. I’ve done a lot of good and a lot of bad-good in this column. I met my wife, Reese (aka Glamorosi), through Icepack. I’ve walked my dogs Spundie, Brownie and Django through Icepack. I’ve introduced the cliques I’ve had and the friends I’ve made since through this column and we became a community. I made my dad (Alfonso) and mom (Eda) proud, despite this column’s onetime reliance on f-bombs (I told Stu Bykofsky that I wouldn’t use the f-word after my mom died, and I believe I’ve only slipped twice). I’ve made enemies of people who eventually became pals (not always; trust me, grudges run long and deep in Philly), hated on politicos and artists who thought they were more fabulous than they really were, and generally made a nuisance of myself. I’ve dropped more exclusives — weeks, months, even years ahead in some cases — than most columnists, even when I didn’t get the credit. And you loved every minute of it. Me too. We’ll continue loving all that at the Metro. Still, CP was Icepack’s first home, a once truly weird home considering the alt-news world when I started (that world has changed, many ways for the better, some for the worse) and the personalities that I’d like to think I helped build this paper with, supportive guys such as Bruce Schimmel, David Warner, Paul Curci and Sonny Vellozzi.There have been Icepack editors I’ve loved, some I didn’t, with plenty who didn’t like me. Then there’s you, Icepack’s readers, whom I love and appreciate, from your shouts on the street to your texts and tweets. Of course, I want you to follow me to Metro Philadelphia, as well as my continued exploits in CP. But Icepack and I had fun at City Paper for a good, long time. Thank you. (a_amorosi@citypaper.net) 18 | P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R |

NITRO/NEW: Thorazine as they appear today — Jo-Ann Rogan, Dallas Cantland, Elliott Taylor and Ross Abraham. SARAH R. BLOOM

[ rock/pop/reunion ]

STILL CRAZY Jo-Ann Rogan and punk-metal trailblazers Thorazine return to raise the dead (squirrels). By A.D. Amorosi o-Ann Rogan lays it all out cold: “Back in the day, I was part of a movement that showed a generation of women they could rock out in any way they wanted, even if it meant playing night-after-night with nothing but guys.” She and the rest of driving punk-metal band Thorazine were one of Philly’s finest in the ’90s. “Now I’m here to say you can be a woman of a certain age and you don’t have to disappear into PTA meetings and cookie sales. You can scream and yell and rock out with the best of them and go to the PTA meetings. Women don’t have to become invisible at a certain age.” Now 47, Rogan is reuniting the quartet she joined in 1993, the group that also featured drummer Dallas Cantland, bassist Ross Abraham and guitarist Elliott Taylor (her husband and the father of their two children). With her raging deadpan voice out front, Thorazine toured relentlessly and dropped two albums — Crazy Uncle Paul’s Dead Squirrel Wedding in 1996 and Vicious Cycle in 1998 — along with several singles and EPs. Personal dramas busted them up by the early 2000s. Last year, the Dionysus/Hell Yeah label re-released Thorazine’s back catalog on iTunes, but the members hadn’t been in the same

J

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room for 10-plus years when documentarian Heather Gillespie tweeted Rogan asking what happened to the Dead Squirrel Wedding artwork. The cover was what it sounds like: 70 taxidermied squirrels arranged in a matrimonial scene. “I told Heather I had no idea, so she wound up finding it in the basement of an acquaintance’s house where Thorazine left it in 1996,” says Rogan. Now, not only is Gillespie getting the little stuffed rodents restored, the filmmaker has started a documentary about the Wedding as a work of art and its connection to the band. “Thorazine was estranged when she contacted us, reunited in person for the first time when we filmed our interviews for her documentary, and discovered we had changed, but still had incredible chemistry.” Cantland and Rogan started emailing. They made a Thorazine Facebook page and quickly scored some likes. “We were so excited people remembered and cared that Dallas and I knew that we had to play a show,” says Rogan. Though new songs may emerge one day, Saturday’s show concentrates the band’s back catalog and camaraderie. “Thorazine meant a ton to all of us,” she says. “To have it back in our lives is like having our cake and eating it, too.” (a_amorosi@citypaper.net)

“Women don’t have to become invisible at a certain age.”

✚ Sat., May 3, 9 p.m., $10, with Pagan Babies, Wally, Baptist Preachers and Bushmaster, The Fire, 412 W. Girard Ave., 267-671-9298, iourecords.com.

[ cold in a philadelphia drawn by lovecraft ] firstfridayfocus

[ album reviews ]

➤ fennesz | B

➤ the menzingers | B+

Bécs (Editions Mego) is the Austrian sound-sculptor’s first

➤ damon albarn | B+ Rock star, cartoon character, opera composer, pan-global musical collaborator and instigator Damon Albarn now hunkers down in arguably his fondest guise for his de facto solo debut Everyday Robots (Warner Bros.): Call him the Country Sad Ballad Man. The country in question being, of course, England, though this album of tender, wistfully resigned songs downplays the Anglocentrism of kissingcousin The Good, the Bad and the Queen, while retaining its lush, downcast electronic/acoustic moodscapes. —K. Ross Hoffman

flickpick

full-length in five years and only his third since 2001’s landmark Endless Summer, whose absorbing flirtations with warmly approachable harmonic and textural sensibilities he revisits here. Not that it’s anyone’s idea of “pop,” exactly, but it’s just the sort of expansive ambient abstraction that’s guaranteed to raise a smile as the days grow longer, dominated and defined by shimmering and surprisingly muscular guitar, blissed-out organ drones and —K. Ross Hoffman (heavily distorted) piano. Surf’s up!

Untitled Dango, 2013 Jun Kaneko

➤ amanda martinez | A

➤ THE CENTER FOR ART IN WOOD

Amanda Martinez fans her musical roots across Mañana (CEN) like a ballet folklorico dancer’s skirt, and the result is broad, handsome and colorful. With a mother from South Africa, a father from Mexico and a lifetime in Toronto, this gently powerful singer ranges across the Americas for inspiration, writing with equal piquance in English, Spanish and French. Martinez’ childhood love of nueva canción —Mary Armstrong and its celebration of life shines through.

[ movie review ]

BLUE RUIN [ B+ ] SLITTING OPEN THE vengeance genre with a pretty, pearl-handled straight razor, Jeremy Saulnier’s second feature peddles both brutality and beauty, never insisting that one has anything to do with the other. A Kickstarter success story of the highest and least grating caliber (stop talking, Zach Braff), it’s an auspicious statement piece for fledgling filmmaker Saulnier, one that proves that real action and suspense can be captured in a cinematically “small” manner. Starring and unequivocally nailed home by Saulnier’s longtime friend Macon Blair, it rides shotgun alongside Dwight, a spooky-eyed but seemingly harmless bum living out of his car. But his daily routine of napping, dumpster-diving and breaking into homes to take baths is scuttled once a deputy raps on his rear window, letting him know that the man convicted of murdering his parents has been released on a technicality. Leaning on minimal dialogue that accomplishes maximum narrative movement, we learn that the loss of Dwight’s folks threw him into a hopeless, directionless spiral — until he hears this news. Rushing to prepare for a day whose arrival he long suppressed, Dwight silently stalks his nemesis, clumsily confronting him with a blade in a roadhouse restroom. It’s difficult to say whether what happens next can be a considered a success, but it’s an event that sends Dwight and the audience barreling down a single-lane highway. Saulnier makes the most of location, setting Dwight’s bleak advances against the haunting solitude of the shoreline, the oppressive dullness of suburbia and the sinister beauty of the backwoods. Saulnier’s only shortcoming is that he’s sometimes so wary of revealing information that the small moments between the big ones sag with questions. But there’s a feeling the answers would tell us more than we need to know. —Drew Lazor

He silently stalks his nemesis.

THE BIG PAYBACK: When Dwight (Macon Blair) learns that the man who murdered his parents is being released from jail on a technicality, he seeks bloody revenge.

COLIN CONCES

Every well-worn formula gets a swift kick in the gut on this Philly band’s new Rented World (Epitaph). There’s still tons of juvenile histrionics (“I pushed my emotions off a bridge/ After taking them hostage with a shotgun”) but singer Greg Barnett sounds far more confident in validating his existential crises than he was on 2012’s On the Impossible Past. The band, filtered through Jonathan Low’s minimalist production, sounds richer and more nuanced than ever. —Sameer Rao

By Holly Otterbein

If a tree falls in Bartram’s Garden, the former home of Philadelphia’s 18th-century plants aficionado John Bartram, the material will be reused. After a storm ripped through the Southwest Philly botanic garden in 2010, knocking down several trees, the Center for Art in Wood put out a call to artists to create works using the discarded wood. Thirty-two projects made it to the final cut. The exhibit’s title, “Bartram’s Boxes Remix,” is a reference to the boxes of curiosities that Bartram sent to colleagues and customers in England. Beth Feldman Brandt and Claire Owen took inspiration directly from Bartram’s creations. Using wood, found objects and paper, they made their own boxes and decorated them with miniature portraits. Don’t miss Benjamin Neiditz and Zachary Webber’s Aphrodite’s Mousetrap, a mechanical Venus flytrap (it’s as creepy as it sounds). Through July 19, reception Fri., May 2, 5:30 p.m., 141 N. Third St., 215-923-8000, centerforartinwood.org. ➤ LOCKS GALLERY While describing Jun Kaneko’s surreal, electric design for an opera production, an art critic once said it “unfolds like a shared dream.” In the exhibit “A Stage for a Shared Dream,” Kaneko’s ceramic pieces are paired with video excerpts of his costume and scenic designs for Mozart’s The Magic Flute. Kaneko says he listens to operas hundreds of times until he associates a visual image with the music. His ceramics are playful, covered in brightly colored polka dots and other shapes, but they also sometimes contain a somber element. His wall slabs, filled with the deep, dark blues of the ocean, hint at loss and emptiness. Through May 31, reception Fri., May 2, 5:30 p.m., 600 Washington Square South, 215-629-1000, locksgallery.com. (editorial@citypaper.net)

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curtaincall

[ arts & entertainment ]

By David Fox

SWEATING THE SMALL STUFF ➤ ANNAPURNA SEEMS TO BE having its moment — in an unusual coincidence, the first Philadelphia and New York productions of Sharr White’s play opened within a day of each other. Off-Broadway, the cast of this two-hander is a highly recognizable pair of television stars, Nick Offerman and Megan Mullally. But I don’t think it’s only local boosterism talking when I say that the version seen here at Theatre Exile, under Joe Canuso’s sensitive direction and with superbly detailed design by Thom Weaver, makes as compelling a case for Annapurna as you’re likely to find. And the two excellent Philadelphia actors — Pearce Bunting and Catharine Slusar? Also, pretty much ideal. In part, that’s because their lack of celebrity is an asset here. There’s nothing glamorous about Ulysses and Emma, the middle-aged couple in Annapurna who find themselves reunited in Ulysses’ squalid mobile home, hidden away in a tiny Colorado town. Once upon a time, the two were married, and they had a son, Sam. But 20 years ago, Emma suddenly and quietly took Sam and drove away, without looking back — until now. When she suddenly shows up again, it’s a complete surprise. The reasons behind Emma’s departure and return are what Annapurna is all about. It’s a story with several twists and turns. Most of them are deliberate, and part of what keeps us hooked is the unexpected, gradually unfolding story. White has a knack for slowly revealing crucial bits of their history. At the same time, there’s bumpiness to the play’s tone that I don’t think is intentional. My heart nearly sank in the first five minutes, when a series of short, punchy scenelets suggests an unpromisingly broad comic restyling of Sam Shepard (imagine Fool for Love as a quirky indie comedy for Jennifer Aniston and Bill Murray, and you’ll get the idea). Those first few minutes also are among the few missteps for Canuso and his actors, who are too loud (the Theatre Exile space is very intimate), and too conspicuously working for laughs. Fortunately, it doesn’t take long for the play and this production to find its footing. Annapurna is no comedy — though there’s humor throughout, the underlying nature of the story is serious. Slusar and Bunting are at their best when they are also at their quietest. It’s then that you see how marvelous Slusar can be when she’s listening or simply recounting a story that seems innocuous, but clearly has a subtext. Her very ordinariness is, in the 20 | P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R |

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theater, something extraordinary. Bunting has the more difficult role — one moment, he needs to be larger-than-life, the next vulnerable — and he skillfully manages the transitions. To the credit of both actors (and their director), we absolutely believe these are real people, even when White’s script occasionally strains credibility. As you can probably tell, I’m not wholly convinced by Annapurna. White has some notable gifts for dialogue, but is less adept with structure — the play meanders, and when the climax finally arrives, it feels rushed. (I also doubt it comes as a surprise.) The title refers to part of the Himalayan mountains; that, and the character name Ulysses, implies some larger metaphoric significance that isn’t there. What White does really well

We absolutely believe these are real people. are the little interactions that are the substance of his character’s lives. Somewhere near the mid point of Annapurna, there’s a scene where Emma makes a sandwich for Ulysses (she knows he’s no good at feeding himself). For the next few minutes, the most mundane of tasks becomes a microcosm of their complicated relationship — her conflicted feelings of alienation and nurturing, his battle between pride and neediness. It’s these moments — and there are a number of them — where Annapurna really shines. God is in the details, as they say — and in the theater, the small stuff can sometimes be a really big thing. (d_fox@citypaper.net) ✚ Through May 11, Theatre Exile at

Studio X, 1340 S. 13th St., 215-2184022, theatreexile.org.

The Fabric Workshop and Museum 1214 Arch Street The New Temporary Contemporary 1222 Arch Street, Philadelphia, PA

Abelardo Morell Pictures in Three Museums May 2, 2014–Summer 2014

Public Opening Reception: Friday, May 2, 2014, from 6:00–8:00pm Members-only artist talk by Abelardo Morell at 5:30pm FWM presents new work by Cuban born, Artist-in-Residence Abelardo Morell who lives and works in Brookline, Massachusetts. Morell has created a new body of work by photographing artworks from the collections of the Philadelphia Museum of Art, the Pennsylvania Academy of The Fine Arts, and The Barnes Foundation. Also Opening on Friday, May 2, 2014 Exhibitions of work by Philadelphia Photographers Will Brown, David Graham, and Ray K. Metzker Free parking on Friday, May 2 provided for Members and Donors for artists talks and opening Membership $20 and up

Free and Open to the Public 7 Days a Week

fabricworkshopandmuseum.org

215.561.8888

facebook.com/fabricworkshop

@fabricworkshop

Image: Abelardo Morell, Painting and Sculpture, Pennsylvania Academy of The Fine Arts, 2014. 40 x 45.4 inches. Pigment print on archival paper. Courtesy of Edwynn Houk Gallery/New York.

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Grand Opening

$ .99

Lunch

with purchase of soda and coupon Per Adult.Up to 8 person per coupon Coupon Expires May 29, 2014

9

$ .99

Dinner

with purchase of soda and coupon Per Adult. Up to 8 person per coupon Coupon Expires May 29, 2014

INVITES YOU TO AN ADVANCE SCREENING

FOR YOUR CHANCE TO WIN A TICKET FOR TWO TO SEE THE FILM, LOG ON TO WWW.CITYPAPER.NET/WIN NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. This film is rated R. Passes received through this promotion do not guarantee you a seat at the theatre. Seating is on a first-come, first-served basis, except for members of the reviewing press. Theatre is overbooked to ensure a full house. No admittance once screening has begun. All federal, state and local regulations apply. A recipient of tickets assumes any and all risks related to use of ticket, and accepts any restrictions required by ticket provider. Universal Pictures, all promo partners and their affiliates accept no responsibility or liability in connection with any lost or accident incurred in connection with use of a prize. Tickets cannot be exchanged, transferred or redeemed for cash, in whole or in part. We are not responsible if, for any reason, winner is unable to use his/her ticket in whole or in part. Not responsible for lost, delayed or misdirected entries. All federal and local taxes are the responsibility of the winner. Void where prohibited by law. No purchase necessary. Participating sponsors, their employees & family members and their agencies are not eligible. NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE!

MOVING IN ON MAY 9 www.neighbors-movie.com

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movie

shorts

FILMS ARE GRADED BY CITY PAPER CRITICS A-F.

Fading Gigolo

✚ NEW See Drew Lazor’s review on p. 26. (Wide release)

undermined in a conversation Dulaine has with a cab driver who lost several friends during his military service, suggesting the hurdles these kids still have to face. —Shaun Brady (Ritz at the Bourse)

BLUE RUIN | B+

FADING GIGOLO | C+

See Drew Lazor’s review on p. 19. (The Roxy)

Woody Allen very rarely accepts roles in films that he hasn’t had a hand in writing or directing, and when he does they tend to be atypical parts with scripts of questionable attraction. (The last time was in 2000, when he played a wife-murdering New Mexico butcher in Alfonso Arau’s Picking Up the Pieces.) While the character of a rare bookseller turned male pimp would seem to fit that description, Fading Gigolo writer/director/star John Turturro seems to be trying his hardest to write a faux-Woody film — at least in his scenes with Allen. At other times Turturro appears to be a perennial character actor crafting himself a romantic lead, and at others showing off his sensitivity (and a touch of condescension) toward women. The handful of films that Turturro has directed have all been head-scratchingly eccentric, quirky to the point of being ramshackle. Gigolo is no different, with threads of ideas picked up and dropped at the director’s whim. The unlikely plot lurches into gear immediately, with Allen broaching the idea of Turturro prostituting himself in the film’s first dialogue exchange. From there it becomes a profile of New York’s most sensitive whore, with Turturro providing clients like Sharon Stone and Sofia Vergara with more than just sexual fulfillment. Later, he embarks on a wispy romance with a Hasidic widow, igniting the jealousy of her longtime admirer (Liev Schreiber). Turturro’s direction is at its best in the small details, focusing on the tactile, whether in the bedroom, in a florist’s shop or in the touch of

THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN 2

DANCING IN JAFFA | C It’s a story that’s almost become a documentary subgenre: the well-meaning artist who travels to the Middle East, planting the seeds of peace with a project that brings young Palestinians and Israelis together and helps them to realize that maybe they’re not that different after all. In Dancing in Jaffa, that project is ballroom dancing, and the subject of Hilla Medalia’s charming, if lightweight, film is former world champion Pierre Dulaine. A native of Jaffa whose family left Israel in 1948, Dulaine is the founder of Dancing Classrooms, which was the subject of the 2005 documentary Mad Hot Ballroom. He returns to his native city to coax students in largely segregated schools to dance together — a challenge in a culture where men won’t even shake hands with women. Kids being kids, the students reflect their parents’ prejudices and suspicions, though they inevitably begin to warm to one another in the lead-up to the inevitable climactic competition. Medalia focuses on a few of the children and their parents: Noor, an outcast Muslim girl still mourning the death of her father; Alaa, a perpetually beaming Palestinian boy from a poor family; and Lois, a popular blonde Jewish girl who forms a tentative friendship with Alaa. It’s all cute and heartwarming, though the efficacy is

COLUMBIA PICTURES PRESENTS A MARVEL ENTERTAINMENT/AVI ARAD/MATT TOLMACH PRODUCTION “THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN 2™” ANDREW GARFIELD EMMA STONE JAMIE FOXX DANE DeHAAN CAMPBELL SCOTT EMBETH DAVIDTZ COLM FEORE WITH PAUL GIAMATTI AND SALLY FIELD MUSIC BY HANS ZIMMER AND THE MAGNIFICENT SIX FEATURING PHARRELL WILLIAMS AND JOHNNY MARR EXECUTIVE BASED ON THE PRODUCERS E.BENNETT WALSH STAN LEE ALEX KURTZMAN ROBERTO ORCI MARVEL COMIC BOOK BY STAN LEE AND STEVE DITKO SCREEN STORY BY ALEX KURTZMAN & ROBERTO ORCI & JEFF PINKNER AND JAMES VANDERBILT SCREENPLAY PRODUCED BY ALEX KURTZMAN & ROBERTO ORCI & JEFF PINKNER BY AVI ARAD MATT TOLMACH DIRECTED BY MARC WEBB LOCAL LISTINGS FOR STARTS FRIDAY, MAY 2 CHECK THEATERS AND SHOWTIMES

IN THEATERS IN

,

, 3D AND 2D

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fingers on the pages of a book. It’s in the broad strokes where things get fuzzy. —SB (Ritz Five)

✚ CONTINUING ONLY LOVERS LEFT ALIVE | A Even bloodsuckers get the blues in Jim Jarmusch’s tragicomic exploration of mortality, which apparently sucks even when you can’t actually die. Setting up shop somewhere between Jandek, Kurt Cobain and Trent Reznor on the tortured-sonic-genius spectrum, Adam (Tom Hiddleston) is a jaded loner and musician who also happens to subsist on an all-red, all-liquid diet in

ghostly Detroit. Though he stays busy anonymously recording and releasing music, much to the delight of voracious fans, Adam grows permanently disillusioned by the shortsighted mortals he refers to as “zombies” — so much so that his also-very-undead wife, Eve (Tilda Swinton), decides to fly in from Tangiers to cheer him up. The film is dark, figuratively and, of course, literally, but Adam and Eve’s time together — listening to obscure records, strolling through Detroit’s urban ruins — is light and tender. If you’ve ever connected with a love interest over a favorite artist, novel, movie or album, you’ll be able to relate, even if your canines aren’t filed to an unsettling point.

—DL (Ritz Five)

UNDER THE SKIN | BJonathan Glazer’s first feature in nearly 10 years begins in a sinister way that some will call Kubrickian and all will call creepy. After cobbling together a lexicon of negligibly normal-sounding syllables, a woman (Scarlett Johansson) stands over the limp body of a young girl. As she strips her like-size victim and pulls her clothing over her own body, we’re treated to an indiscreet introduction to who Johansson’s character, “Laura,” actually is: an alien hunter who’s just beginning to grasp the power external beauty holds over our planet. Cruising the streets of Glasgow, Laura is a coiled cobra in snug jeans, coaxing solitary pedestrians back to her shack, where they strip naked and sink willingly into a black void that harvests their insides. This is one of Glazer’s more overt lecture notes — it’s truly what’s on the inside that counts, especially if you’re a predator who enjoys snacking on blood and marrow. But the

overall thrust of the film might be too meek to hold the attention of viewers with limited patience for Glazer’s mood-first, plot-second approach. —DL (Ritz East)

[ movie shorts ]

➤ movie review

✚ SPECIAL SCREENINGS INTERNATIONAL HOUSE 3701 Chestnut St., 215-387-5125, ihousephilly.org. Le Joli Mai (1963, France, 145 min.): Chris Marker’s ambitious portrait of Paris using thousands of actors. Thu., May 1, 7 p.m., $9. Vic + Flo Saw a Bear (2013, Canada, 95 min.): Two ex-convict, lesbian lovers shack up in a remote town. Fri., May 2, 7 p.m., $9. eX-Fest 2014: A 12-hour

More on:

citypaper.net

✚ THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN 2 After 2012’s The Amazing Spider-Man, even crabby too sooners were forced to admit that Andrew Garfield filled out the web-slinging silhouette better than Tobey Maguire ever did. All hands, feet and limbs, and so sarcastic he’s a regular strangulation risk, Garfield nails the disaffected teen notes Peter Parker’s supposed to play, his mastery of the tone best realized in his interactions with just-as-quick girlfriend Gwen Stacy (Emma Stone). Unfortunately, Marc Webb’s second Spidey vehicle uses this strength as a crutch, overextend[ B- ]

✚ CHECK OUT MORE R E P E R T O R Y F I L M L I S T I N G S AT C I T Y PA P E R . N E T / E V E N T S .

ing the young-love storyline to the detriment of everything else. Fresh out of high school, Peter and Gwen struggle through their complicated courtship, compromised by Peter’s desire to keep a buffer between his best girl and his many enemies. But no amount of insulation can slow the advances of Electro (Jamie Foxx), a villain armed with energy-harnessing abilities and serious abandonment issues. Teaming up with Harry Osborn (Dane DeHaan), young head of the corporation responsible for turning Peter super, Electro spreads destructive havoc all over the city — all while Spidey makes bedroom kissy-face collages and agonizes about Gwen’s potential move to London. With all the discourse handled by the lovebirds, there’s very little meat left for anyone else. Webb’s action sequences are rich and energetic, but it’s a challenge to care about anyone in the arena. —Drew Lazor (Wide release) 26 | P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R |

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events LISTINGS@CITYPAPER.NET | MAY 1 - MAY 7

[ more exploratory than exclamatory ]

STARE MASTERS: Lily & Madeleine play the Boot & Saddle on Friday. PASCAL AMOYEL

Events is our selective guide to what’s going on in the city this week. For comprehensive event listings, visit citypaper.net/events. IF YOU WANT TO BE LISTED: Submit information by email (listings@ citypaper.net) or enter it yourself at citypaper.net/submit-event with the following details: date, time, address of venue, telephone number and admission price. Incomplete submissions will not be considered, and listings information will not be accepted over the phone.

5.1 thursday [ rock/post-rock ]

SLINT $25 | Thu., May 1, 8:30 p.m., with Spires That in the Sunset Rise, Union Transfer, 1026 Spring Garden St., 215-232-2100, utphilly.com. Slint occupies a weird place in the alt-rock cosmology: little heard during their brief initial lifespan (’86-’91), eventually elevated via murmur and myth

to critical preeminence as secret forefathers of the 1990s indie rock movement. But it’s still not like their name comes up all that often. Which makes sense. Spiderland (Touch and Go), the 1991 sophomore LP and swan song, now lavishly reissued, upon which their classic status essentially rests, is a pretty weird album — slow to reveal itself and seemingly instrumental in spirit if only because Brian McMahan’s softly spoken narratives are mixed almost too low to register. It’s more exploratory than exclamatory; wending its dark, brooding way through oblique, quirky compositional avenues. Those roads, starting from nearly nowhere (Louisville, Ky., geographically, but also the splintering tail-end shards of the ’80s hardcore and college rock demiverses) eventually seemed to lead almost everywhere in the ensuing decades of underground rock: slowcore, emo, math rock, doom metal, post-punk and most

especially the fertile expanse of post-rock; the band’s breadcrumb trail leading equally to the intricate jazzy restraint of Tortoise (who once counted Slint’s David Pajo as a member) and the epic bombast of Mogwai and Godspeed You Black Emperor! —K. Ross Hoffman

[ theater ]

I LOVE YOU, YOU’RE PERFECT, NOW CHANGE $35-$45 | Through June 29, Walnut Street Theatre Independence Studio on 3, 825 Walnut St., 800-982-2787, walnutstreettheatre.org. The title says it all about writer Joe DiPietro and composer Jimmy Roberts’ popular musical comedy: Dating, romance and marriage are hell — and hilarious. The 1996 hit ran for 12 years off Broadway, and has been produced all over the world. Walnut Street Theatre leading man Christopher Sutton (title roles in Elf and The Buddy Holly Story, and a starring

role in I Love You … off Broadway) directs his real-life wife Lyn Philistine — which sounds like a musical comedy storyline in itself — along with Walnut stalwarts Fran Prisco (Elf, My Way) and Ellie Mooney, who was captivating in the Studio Series’ last show, The Rise and Fall of Little Voice. The cast’s camaraderie should make this a cozy, warm, fun show, as more than 30 characters, ranging from career-obsessed singles and lascivious lovers to nervous newlyweds and first-time parents. —Mark Cofta

far away as England and Australia. Most of the shows are appropriate for all ages, though they range from New Orleans’ Lightwire Theatre’s telling of The Ugly Duckling and The Tortoise and the Hare with electroluminescent puppetry for ages 5 to 8, to the 12-andup blend of spoken word and classical music We Shall Not Be Moved: The Hip-H’Opera Project, co-produced by Opera Philadelphia and Art Sanctuary. When sitting still in a theater isn’t possible, there’s always the Fun Zone, an outdoor crafts and music fair. —Mark Cofta

[ theater ]

INTERNATIONAL CHILDREN’S THEATER FESTIVAL $5-$12 | Through May 4, Annenberg Center for the Performing Arts, 3680 Chestnut St., 215-898-3900, annenbergcenter.org. The 30th year of this huge event features seven full productions by theater companies from as

5.2 friday [ folk/pop ]

SHANNON HAYDEN/ LILY & MADELEINE $10-$12 | Fri., May 2, 8:30 p.m., Boot

& Saddle, 1131 S. Broad St., 267639-4528, bootandsaddlephilly.com. It’s not the rarest thing in the world for a classically trained artist to throw off her training and slum it at a bar for a bunch of indie kids. That said, Illinois cellist Shannon Hayden is particularly weird about it, always running her plinks and swoons through loops and distortion pedals. Her sound is often spooky in a conspiratorial way, complex and alert — fit for a montage in a brainy spy thriller where silencers are smoking and documents are burning in wastebaskets. Friday at the Boot, Hayden opens for plainspoken folk-urchins Lily & Madeleine. Once mere YouTube darlings, the young Jurkiewicz sisters of Indianapolis have become real-world phenoms thanks to a pair of gorgeous releases led by their crystalline voices and gentle guitars. Anybody who’s made room in their rainy-day playlist

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for Camera Obscura and First Aid Kit will appreciate their earnest approach and earthly allure. —Patrick Rapa

[ events ]

[ publication/exhibition ] [ dance ]

TEMPLE STUDENT DANCE $20 | Fri.-Sat., May 2-3, Conwell Dance Theater, Temple University, 1801 N. Broad St., 800-298-4200, liacourascenter.com. If you were wondering where tomorrow’s leading dancers of our local scene are going to come from, you’d be wise to check out Temple University’s student dance concert. Temple has been providing the city with a wellspring of dancers for decades now, and the flow just keeps on coming. This is raw, fresh talent — emerging artists who are testing out their dance-making chops. The program presents choreography by graduating B.F.A. students who are having one last hurrah before donning caps and gowns. There are surely future stars to be had here. Hit this show up and catch ’em on the rise. —Deni Kasrel

SEMICOLON FREE | Fri., May 2, opening party 6-10 p.m., exhibition open through May 4, New Boon(e), 253 N. Third St., newboone.com. Philadelphia’s art scene has another contender for most exciting collective — New Boon(e). The Old City-based group has only held a handful of exhibitions since opening its doors in 2013, but every single one has offered a unique experience, ranging from politically charged portraiture to surrealist live performance. This time around the group is hosting the release for SEMICOLON, a collaborative publication by Temple’s Tyler School of Art M.F.A. 2014 candidates and graduate students in the art history program. The publication was culled from critical discussions with the two groups, in addition to essays penned by contemporary art historians. —Robert Skvarla

The Philadelphia Songwriters Project

2014 SONGWRITING

CONTEST FINALS You Pick The Winners! Underground Arts 1200 Callowhill St. Philadelphia, PA

Sunday May 18

Doors at 3:30 pm Show 4:00 pm

Tickets $18 Door $10 Senior, Student with ID. Discounts for advance purchase www.phillysongwriters.com

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[ dance ]

PROMISES I NEVER MEANT TO KEEP $35 | Fri.-Sun., May 2-4, Suzanne Roberts Theatre, 480 S. Broad St., 215-985-0420, koreshdance.org.

5.3 saturday [ music/multimedia ]

EÉL OÜY FREE | Sat., May 3, 6 p.m., PhilaMOCA, 531 N. 12th St., 267519-9651, philamoca.org. It’s not enough just to be a Philadelphia musician with a bracing, even daring sound. Jason Killinger (Birds of

Maya), Neil Burke (Sinking Body) and Rodger Binyone (Igneous Eyes) must go beyond mean atmospheres and wonky instrumentals to prove their aesthetic mettle. EÉL OÜY is that show of artistic prowess, an exhibitionist art/film/mixed media explosion where each man presents his highly graphic illustrative work: Killinger and his faceless figurines and squiggly lines, Burke’s Edward Gorey-like drawings, Binyone’s crashing lines. While some of their works will be displayed in film or video form, the highlight of the month-long program is its Plastic Exploding Inevitablelike finale on May 31, with each man playing before moving images of his best works. —A.D. Amorosi

Theater, the panel includes Philadelphia Inquirer architecture critic Inga Saffron and civic neighborhood advocate Emaleigh Doley. Both women have much to say regarding the effect of structures that surround us, and considering that Saffron recently snagged a Pulitizer Prize, you know you’re in for incisive conversation. —Deni Kasrel

[ panel discussion ]

ARCHITECTURE, MEMORY AND THE BODY $29 | Sat., May 3, 8 p.m. (price includes admission to 7 p.m. Midway Avenue dance performance), FringeArts, 140 N. Columbus Blvd. 215-413-9006, fringearts.com. Philadelphia has a distinct dialect: We tend to roll our r’s and pronounce water like “wooder.” And, of course, there’s The Sound of Philadelphia. But do our citizens also move a certain way based on local architecture? Can our bodies have a Philadelphia patois? This intriguing question serves as the springboard for a discussion following Midway Avenue, a new dance work by Nichole Canuso. Moderated by Andrew Simonet, co-founder of Headlong Dance

[ pop/rock ]

THE BOTH $22-$24 | Sat., May 3, 9 p.m., with Nick Diamonds, Union Transfer, 1026 Spring Garden St., 215-2322100, utphilly.com. Aimee Mann and Ted Leo are well-matched in wit, stature and partiality to good old-fashioned pop/rock tunefulness (not to mention goofy videos). But they still seem like a fairly odd CHRISTIAN LANDRY

If you looked back on your life, would the things that were important when you were young still be important now? Such is the essential theme of Promises I Never Meant to Keep, Roni Koresh’s most recent rumination on life, as presented by this super-toned athletic dance troupe. Rather than a piece that gently flows from one section to the next, Koresh likens the work to a series of photographs that capture moments in time. “It’s like we are in real life,” he says. “When we’re young,

we’re more into the physicality and the passion, and as we get older it kind of rises to a place that’s more intellectual. It’s a different appeal and a different desire. It has two planes.” —Deni Kasrel

couple, less for stylistic reasons than for energetic ones: Leo’s scrappy, perennially excitable exuberance vs. Mann’s wry, cucumber-cool dispassion. Initially, The Both (SuperEgo)

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[ events ]

seems to tip the scales toward Mann’s more reserved MO — Leo’s presence doesn’t, for instance, magically jolt her back into long-forgotten rock ’n’ roll mode (á la 1995’s I’m With Stupid) — and, as often with her output, it takes a few spins to really reveal itself. Ultimately it feels just like it should: an elegantly balanced collaboration, with Teddy’s fingerprints abundantly evident on jaunty, deliciously hooky highlights like “Volunteers of America” and “Milwaukee” (whose video was partially shot at Boot & Saddle), in the album’s mild political bent (particularly the lovely environmental protest tune “Hummingbird”) and in the choice of a Thin Lizzy cover (the pensive “Honesty Is No Excuse” — also tackled recently by Cass McCombs) and plenty of sprightly, Lizzy-esque guitar solos. —K. Ross Hoffman

5.5 monday [ rock/pop/electronic ]

WYE OAK/BRAIDS $16-$18 | Mon., May 5, 8:30 p.m.,

Union Transfer, 1026 Spring Garden St., 215-232-2100, utphilly.com.

SHERVIN LAINEZ

After a draining two years of touring behind the well-received Civilian, Wye Oak (pictured) songwriter/guitarslayer/frontwoman Jenn Wasner took a breather from her mainstay indie rock duo — and from six-strings altogether — with the fun, retro-leaning electronic pop/R&B side project Dungeonesse. What then seemed like an unabashed (and delightful) lark turns out to be a significant signpost for the direction Wassner has now taken her main band on their new, fourth full-length. Shriek (Merge) fits somewhere vaguely between that outfit and the Wye Oak of old, but it still registers as a major, dramatic

[ events ]

statesman of the keyboard, and she, the soprano just days out of Curtis, make extraordinarily beautiful music together. As we’ve seen from them before, this program intertwines solo piano music (Schumann, Debussy and Beethoven) with songs from the heart of the Romantic repertoire. Goode’s wise, scintillating playing needs no introduction to piano fanciers. Shafer is not yet so well-known, but her star is rising fast. Her voice is a wonder; open-toned, vibrantly colored, impeccably nuanced and, crucially, emotionally and intellectually alert. —Peter Burwasser

[ punk rock ]

AGAINST ME! $22.50 | Tue., May 6, 7:30 p.m., with Tony Molina, and Big Eyes, Trocadero Theater, 1003 Arch St., 215-922-6888, thetroc.com.

shift, recasting Wasner’s subtle, emotionally potent songwriting and ever-more-evocative alto onto nuanced, layered electronic art-pop soundscapes that will impose even more improbable demands on their already intricate two-person stage setup. It also makes them, suddenly, unusually apt touring partners for Montreal’s Braids, whose stunningly lovely Flourish// Perish (Arbutus) traverses similarly delicate Kate Bushvia-Kid A territory; alternately lush, droning and jittery, with the added otherworldliness of Raphaelle Standell-Preston’s breathy, fairy-like vocals. —K. Ross Hoffman

The story of the change by which Tom James Gabel became Laura Jane Grace has thankfully not become the story of how personal bravery became Internet noise and reduced her band’s music to a sideshow. Homegirl rocks as loudly, proudly and consistently as ever, and that’s still the draw. And if her lyrics have gathered additional gravitas from the specifics of her “Transgender Dysphoria Blues,” even better, but that’s just the first song. She hasn’t even begun to fight until the band hits you seriatim with “FUCKMYLIFE666,” “Dead Friend” and “Two Coffins,” handing you the defibrillator before you ask sheepishly for a tissue. —Dotun Akintoye

5.6 tuesday [ classical ]

SARAH SHAFER AND RICHARD GOODE $24 | Tue., May 6, 8 p.m., American Philosophical Society, 427 Chestnut St., 215-569-8080, pcmsconcerts.org.

More on:

citypaper.net ✚ FOR COMPREHENSIVE EVENT LISTINGS, VISIT

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C I T Y PA P E R . N E T / L I S T I N G S .

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DOCTOR’S

ORDERS COME ENJOY HEALTHY MEDITERRANEAN CUISINE

FRESH, AUTHENTIC, MOUTHWATERING MEDITERRANEAN CUISINE WILL HAVE YOUR PALATE DANCING! GREEK SHRIMP TO MUSSELS, LAMB CHOPS TO KABOBS, MOUSAKA TO SPANAKOPITA, HUMMUS TO STUFFED PEPPERS, VEGETARIAN AND VEGAN ENTREES, OPEN FOR LUNCH & DINNER TUESDAY-SUNDAY

SOUTH STREET SOUVLAKI 509 SOUTH STREET, PHILADELPHIA. 215.925.3026

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supplement supplement » advertorial » advertorial

SOUTH STREET Celebrate the fun, festivites, food and more! ➤ Spring Festival will close South Street to traffi c, and transform this historic business district into one of the city’s largest block parties. At least 30 restaurants, bars, cafes and food trucks will come outside to serve signature food, drinks, and cuisine from around the world. Look for everything from free samples, to special one-off dishes, to signature favorites, to specially priced grab-and-go. Pricing will vary by vendor and ranges from free samples to pay-as-you-go.

MAIFEST BY BRAUHAUS SCHMITZ On the 700 block of South Street, Brauhaus Schmitz will present the second annual German Maifest. Get ready to celebrate a time when flowers are starting to bloom, the winter chill is fading, and consumption of copious amounts of beer is highly encouraged—at least it is in Germany. Strap on your lederhosen and dirndl, and get ready to enjoy this traditional Deutsch festival with: • May Pole with authentic German dancers between 2:00pm to 6:00pm • Main Spring Fest stage outside Brau34 | P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R |

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haus to feature Heimat Klange between 1:30pm and 6:00pm • In conjunction with Art/Gage and Philadelphia Magic Gardens, make your own fresh flower headbands from 2:00pm to 5:00pm and 6:00pm to 7:00pm (Donation suggested) • Round tables (with umbrellas) for plentiful seating to enjoy entertainment, food and drink

FREE FAMILY FUN The Kids Zone (located in the 200 block of South Street) will feature engaging activities for the young and the young at

f&d

foodanddrink

miseenplace By Caroline Russock

JOURNEYMAN RONIN KITCHEN | 124 Lombard St., roninkitchen. com. Thu.-Sat., 6 p.m. and 8:30 p.m. seatings. Six course prix fixe (reserve online), $53. ➤ WHILE RYO IGARASHI’S roots are firmly

Japanese, his approach to cooking is global. “These days culinary culture is always moving,” Igarashi explains. Sitting in the tiny dining room of Tokio, a former sushi spot on Lombard Street that’s now home to Ronin Kitchen, Igarashi’s newly minted pop up, he talks about the Westernization of Asian food and, in turn, the Asian-ization of Western food. “A good example is McDonalds. In Japan, they serve katsu, a chicken cutlet and sunny-side up eggs with teriyaki sauce,” says Igarashi. “They’ve been doing it for a long time.” With years of Japanese-restaurant experience, Igarashi’s worldview at Ronin Kitchen is markedly more inclusive. Three nights a week (Thursday to Saturday), he puts together a six-course menu that takes its cues from Japanese, Chinese, Thai and Korean culinary traditions as well as more Western techniques and flavors. This, of course, is the benefit of a culinary resume that includes everything from sushi and hibachi to pastry. With Ronin, Igarashi is finally able to embrace all of the skills that he’s learned from working with some of the city’s most talented chefs, including Jose Garces at Amada and Distrito. Igarashi says that while Garces’ restaurant empire includes influences from many different countries, there’s a consistency in taste. “Even though the ethnicity is different, the flavors themselves are similar,” says Igarashi. “They’re tasty, and that’s the bottom line.” Tastiness is also Igarashi’s bottom line, as is evident after sampling his congee topped with crispy duck breast, a six-minute egg and youtiao (Chinese crullers). The dinner menu changes weekly, using a constantly evolving roster of ingredients and influences. This week’s menu, Volume 4, begins with an aperitif of shochu, key lime and basil, and includes a play on the Chinese restaurant classic, shrimp toast; ma-po tofu with grass-fed beef; and a savory shao bing (a baked Chinese-style sesame bread) with John Dory, coconut, curry and basil. (caroline@citypaper.net) 36 | P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R |

AL FORNO: Petruce’s lasagna is layered with béchamel and percorino then finished in a wood-fired oven. NEAL SANTOS

[ review ]

BROTHERS IN FLAMES Wood-fired fare wows at Petruce et al. By Adam Erace PETRUCE ET AL | 1121 Walnut St., 267-225-8232, petrucephilly.com. Tue.-Sat., 5-11 p.m.; Sun., 5-10 p.m. Small, $3-$14; medium, $14-$19; large, $21-$32; et al, $33-$67; dessert, $7-$9.

weet potatoes, I like them fine — whether roasted crispy, baked with butter and cinnamon or even turned into gnocchi. But it’s not every day one renders you speechless. The roasted sweets set in front of me rose from a charcoal plate like traffic cones on tarMore on: mac. Whorls of shallot-tinged avocado purée glued the soft, caramelized roots in place along a course that followed the dish’s outer curve. Pulpy tomatillo, seared in cast-iron, sidled up to the spuds. A salty blizzard of queso fresco blew in. Corn nuts crunched. A few days later, I’m able to put the thoughts into words, but at the time, the perfectly pitched contrasts of sweet, tangy, salty and fatty hit control-alt-delete on my brain. Words wouldn’t mesh, sentences couldn’t compute. I blurted out some enthralled, unintelligible compliments.

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citypaper.net

It bears repeating: It’s not every day a sweet potato renders you speechless. Then again, it’s not every day you have a sweet potato cooked by Justin and Jonathan Petruce. After cutting their teeth around town (MéMé, Little Fish) for nearly a decade, the brothers in business and blood gutted a women’s clothing store and created a place of their own, Petruce et al, with longtime pal and partner Tim Kweeder. The restaurant opened in March; a narrow lounge widens like a bottle as you move to the rear dining room. That’s where the showpiece of the open kitchen, a custom-built, domed oven, awaits feeding. Almost everything on the Petruces’ menu — including the magic sweet potatoes — gets a kiss from the hungry flames. I still can’t get over the surprising Mexican-ness of that dish; you could put all those components in a corn tortilla and have one hell of a taco. “We had tomatillos and avocados MORE FOOD AND lying around, and there were also sweet DRINK COVERAGE potatoes,” says Jonathan Petruce with a AT C I T Y P A P E R . N E T / shrug. “The dish started as a placeholder M E A LT I C K E T. until spring produce really started coming in.” It’s become so popular, it’s received an official stay of execution. Which is not to say the Petruces aren’t seasonally attuned chefs. Mad about ramps? Check them out when lightly charred and draped over an ivory block of smoky halibut roasted in the oven and seated on bread sauce — a purée of the house-baked sourdough, garlic, onions and olive oil every chef in Philly should be taking notes on. Ribbons of spring asparagus cropped up as >>> continued on adjacent page

[ food & drink ]

✚ Brothers in Flames <<< continued from previous page

I blurted out some enthralled, unintelligible compliments. well, a complement to the crisp-skinned, impeccably moist roasted half-chicken with white grits, pancetta, schmaltz-blistered scallions and a luminous sauce that was like a hollandaise but with white soy. An Argentinestyle Grill Works grill complements the oven. Glowing coals curl the tips of oil-poached octopus tentacles into tight little fists; the Petruces place them over elegant congee accessorized with a Southern portfolio of field peas and sorghum syrup — Charleston by way of China. Beneath grates stacked with whole sea breams and 2pound strip loins, fava beans bury in the coals, where the intense heat steams them inside their husks. The beans stud a smart salad of young chard leaves and fried chickpeas finished with za’atar and grapefruit juice. You’ll need that refreshing salad — and little else — if you’re going to tackle the lasagna. “Our dad works for an Italian meat company in the Poconos, and these food scientists come over from Italy to work at the plant” on longterm contracts. “One of them came for Thanksgiving one year and brought a lasagna that she made. It was the best we ever had.” Recreating her recipe, they swap out typical ricotta for a lavish nutmeg-scented béchamel. Layered between sheets of semolina pasta then blanketed in vivid tomato sauce and shaved pecorino and baked in a cast-iron pan in the oven, the cream sauce oozes out the sides. “She actually came into the restaurant a few weeks ago and ordered it,” Jonathan says. “She didn’t even know, but was all happy when we told her that her lasagna was the inspiration. She said ours is better.” Especially paired with a glass of Lambrusco, a wine finally getting its due, thanks to producers like Venturini Baldini (fizzy and not at all sweet) and sommeliers like Kweeder, whose groundbreaking work at a.bar precedes him. The final member of this four-man A-team, George Costa (Southwark, Pub & Kitchen) is behind the bar mixing up masterful drinks with ingredients like crème yvette, hibiscus bitters, cherry heering and clarified milk. His Pancho’s Lament cuts chile-infused tequila with Ramazzotti , sparkling water and cold-brew coffee. Double-down the caffeine with dessert, coffee softserve piped in a glass and topped with a miniature glazed donut garnished with crushed cocoa nibs. The bowl of pineapple is really something else. Paired with coconut-chocolate ganache (vegan) and a bar of mochi cake that chews like a macaroon, the fruit is smoky, tangy, succulent. You shouldn’t be surprised to learn they roast the pineapple whole in the coals until the skin burns and the fruit cooks in its own juices. “It’s our version of sousvide,” laughs Justin Petruce, who was late to the interview because he was out buying mochi flour for this very dessert. (adam.erace@citypaper.net) C I T Y PA P E R . N E T | M A Y 1 - M A Y 7 , 2 0 1 4 | P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R |

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Classifieds Employment Announcements Donations Wanted Your SPRING CLEANING CAN HELP FIGHT CANCER! Call for convenient pick up of your unwanted clothing, housewares & furniture. Raising funds for Fox Chase Cancer Center, Fein Chapter for 20+ years. Call 215.842.1638 Receipt provided.

Transportation DRIVERS WANTED

Special Services Flea Markets/Craft Flea Market/Craft Show

Real Estate

Saturday, 14 June 8:00 AM - 2:00 PM St. Cyril of Jerusalem Church Parking Lot 1410 Almshouse Road Jamison, PA

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Office Rentals

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For Sale KILL ROACHES!

buy Harris Roach Tablets. Eliminate Roaches-Guaranteed. No Mess, Odorless, Long Lasting. Available at Ace Hardware. The Home Depot, homedepot.com

Health Services HEALTH

IF YOU USED THE BLOOD THINNER PRADAXA and suffered internal bleeding, hemorrhaging, required hospitalization, or a loved one died while taking Pradaxa between October 2010 and the present. You may be entitled to compensation. Call Attorney Charles H. Johnson 1-800-535-5727.

Homes for Sale

HELP WANTED

Drivers: Need Contract Drivers, CDL A or B to transfer vehicles to and from local body plants to various locations throughout U.S.-No forced dispatch. Apply online at www.mamotransportation. com under careers or call 1800-501-3783 to speak with a recruiter.

CASH FOR CARS:

GIRLS, YOU TOO CAN BE A MODEL IF YOU THINK THAT YOU LOOK CUTE IN TIGER STRIPE ( CAMOUFLAGE) BDU’S...Canadidates should be pretty, authletic, and fit. So if you have the looks, figure and youth I WANT YOU! For a “Period� calendar shoot. Call 267-970-3202 or email to ioriophotography215@yahoo.com submit photo and contact number.

HELP WANTED DRIVER

Reliable Driver or OwnerOpeator needed for reqional runs out of Carlisle, PA area of Plate Glass. Yar-round dedicated freight. Strong rates: Superior Safety required. 1-800-733-2459 ext. 2175

hardwood, high ceilings, mosaic tile, granite counters, stainless, lg yard, new paint, 610-908-5247

LAND FOR SALE

NEW YORK LAND BARGAINS 3 Acres Southern Tier : $9,995. 6 Acres on Trout Stream: $19,995. 8.4 Acres New Turkey Hunter’s Cabin: $29,995. Financing w/Low Monthly Payments! Call Christmas & Associates: 800-229-7843. Or Visit: www. landandcamps.com Owner/ Broker LAND FOR SALE

NY LAKE SALE: 5 acres Coan Lake $29,900. 2 acres Bass Pond $18,900. 15 waterfront properties. See

new lake homes, fi nancing arranged. www.LandFirstNY. com Call 1-888-683-2626. LOTS/ACREAGE

Waterfront Lots-Virginia’s Eastern Shore. Was $325k, Now From $65,000. Community Pool/Center, 1 acre+ Lots, Bay & Ocean Access, Great Fishing, Crabbing, Kayaking. Custom Homes. www.oldmillpointe.com 757824-0808.

Three+ Bedrooms PASSYUNK SQUARE/ ITALIAN MARKET VICINITY

3 bdrm.Tree-lined street, Close CC trans. No pets. Serious inquiries. 215551-8198.

Roommates ALL AREAS-ROOMATES. COM

Browse hundreds of online listings with photos and maps. Find your roommate with a click of the mouse! V i s i t : h t t p : / / w w w. R o o m mates.com.

Vacation/ Seasonal Rental OCEAN CITY, MARYLAND

Best selection of affordable rentals. Full/Partial Weeks.. Call now for FREE brochure. Open daily. Holiday Real Estate. Online Reservations: 1-800-638-2102 www.holidayoc.com

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HELP WANTED DRIVER

WEEKLY HOME TIME AND EXPERIENCE BASED PAY! Class A Professional Drivers Call 877-457-1313 for more details or visit SuperServiceLLC.com HELP WANTED/SALES

EARN $500 A-DAY: Insurance Agents Needed; Leads, No Cold Calls; Commissions Paid Daily; Lifetime Renewa l s ; C o m p l e t e Tr a i n i n g ; Health/Dental Insurance; Life License Required. Call 1-888-713-6020.

Alexis # & # "&%

call:

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&!)2-/5.4 &,%! -!2+%4 LARGEST OUTDOOR VINTAGE FLEA MARKET IN CENTER CITY

53B B6/B =:2 4C@<7BC@3 :==97<5 great /5/7< Â’ 27<7<5 @==; Â’ 032@==; Â’ 97B163< A3B

More Than 200 Vendors Surround The Historic Eastern State Penitentiary At 22nd & Fairmount

Featuring Antique Furniture, Vintage Jewelry, Clothing & Accessories, Pottery, Art Work, Great Food & Much More!

THIS SAT, MAY 3RD (Rain Date - Sunday) 8AM TIL 5PM Free Admission / ATM / Handicap Accessible Parking Available In The Adjacent Lot At 2201 Fairmount Ave, 19130

www.PhilaFleaMarkets.org

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Previously Finished Or Unfinished

C I T Y PA P E R . N E T | M A Y 1 - M A Y 7 , 2 0 1 4 | P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R |

39

[ i love you, i hate you ] To place your FREE ad (100 word limit) ➤ email lovehate@citypaper.net ALWAYS LOVE I’m so sorry for letting you go, My sweet Froggy. I will always be grateful to you; for loving me, and sticking by me, even when I was an emotional jerk. Your candid words and smart-sassy ways, will stick with me,and remind me of how cool you really are. but, now that we are working on being friends, I hate your g/f, i hate that you sleep together, and do things. That should be Us. I was wrong for letting you go and now I’m paying for it. I’m forever sorry. and I will now and always be happy to be your friend. as much as it hurts; i will be grateful. I will try to stop dreaming about how you felt and kissed and wore those outfits; thanks for everything, and I’m sorry for breaking up with you. Your butch.

went out of town you avoided the whole thing but I know what is real and I think that you know what is real also. If you want to be with this dumb, lazy-ass drunk guy, then by all means go for it and be with the fool! I think the both of you guys deserve each other! I am really getting tired of hearing the bullshit when you call me over the phone you keep being dumb about situations and pretend that you don’t see shit or whatever! You are an asshole and he knows it and finally you realized this about yourself! I

virgins pussy at the sight of her first dick. No one wants to eat that shit. Shove them up your ass.

really fed up with the whole situation. Thanks but no thanks!

I LOVE YOU

NASTY BITCH EVER!

sometimes I love you but sometimes I definitely hate you...I hate the fact that you pretend that everything is alright and it is not! I don’t like the fact that you call and try to check on my every move like I belong to you...I don’t belong to you or anyone else...for the record you can kiss my ass because I am not going to stop seeing who I

You stupid bitch how fucking dare you...you know exactly what you did. You fucked that guy and then you wanted to fuck the other guy without washing up! I know that you did that shit 2 times! How fucking dare you think that you are going to get away with anything. The guy that you talk to told me that when he left you were not even thinking of taking a fucking shower! You disgust me so bad!

PIECE OF CRAP-DOG CRAP Hey Douche Bag that yelled at me today because my dog pooped on the sidewalk twice and I only brought one bag with me. YOU SUCK. Maybe not everyone who leaves dog poop on the sidewalk does it because they are careless, maybe their dog just dropped an extra deuce and the owner isn’t prepared and is frantically searching the immediate area for any piece of littler that will hold a pile of shit. And FYI, I did go home, grab a bag and come back and if I could have remembered which stoop was yours, you can be sure that would have left a nice little memento to remember this occasion which you so obviously enjoyed. Yo dude, shit happens.

BOSS I WANT YOU Hi boss! I know you read this column and hope you recognize this letter as being about you. I want to unbutton that one blouse you wear. The one thats just a little tighter on you than the rest. I want to support those beautiful breasts, and run my thumbs and tongue over those tight little nipples that poke visibly sometimes really early in the morning. When you’re bent over checking inventory I can see the top line of your thong and want to unzip those jeans, slide those jeans off your hips, and take you from behind. You have an aggressive management style, and I think you might like being taken. I hope you get wet every time you take inventory from now on. Check every male for an erection and when you get to me, you’ll know I’m the one who wrote this!

REMEMBER MY QUOTE When closing down the bar, I said I feel the opposite of a quote I remembered, and you asked what the quote was. “The wonder of young love is the ignorance that it could ever end” I said, and you asked “and you feel the opposite?” I told you “Do you think it could ever feel this real forever? No. Do you think it would ever be this good again? No.” I could be wrong. The depth of passion I feel for you isn’t going away, not even a little bit, so don’t take it that way. I owe you a foot massage.

CONNECTED Sunlight graces the soon to-be-changing leaves of the antebellum South on the eve of departure, though a short trip, you're on my mind ceaselessly bantering replies to internal questions I have yet to ask. Soon night falls and the stars in their brilliant bright beauty will appear in the heavens above me. Outside my window I watch the world pass by through the sleek darkness eclipsing everything but those bright beautiful stars which connect us even when I’m away. I remind myself I simply have but to look at the dotted heavens above to know that you’re there looking back on the other side of the reflection at home.

DUMB BITCH ON PHONE You stupid-ass bitch...what the fuck is your problem if you answer the phone and nobody is there why would you keep saying hello on the phone sounding like a jackass! I wasn’t the only one looking at you like you were a complete moron! You suck bitch! I hope that I don’t see you tomorrow!

GROW UP BITCH Aren’t you smart enough to know that he was fucking cheating on you the whole time when he 40 | P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R |

SKINNY BITCH!

hate the woman that you have become! I think you hate yourself, too, why else would you continue to deal with the dumb stuff!

am dating right now and that is the truth of the matter! If you really want to be with me you will show me the respect that I have shown you for all those years! I hate your cocky attitude.

HUNGRY HIPPOS Every morning you announce that you brought in pretzels. Can’t you see that pretty much everyone around the office is overweight? So you get the great idea to feed them carbs at 8 in the morning. Way to go dipshit. Why don’t you ask me if I would like a pretzel? What the hell did I do to you? Fuck your pretzels. You keep them in the bag so they get soggier than a 25 year old

M A Y 1 - M A Y 7 , 2 0 1 4 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T

LOVE OF MY LIFE You were the love of my life....can’t you see that... I am good without you...you seem like you keep pressing the issue of being together never-mind us that...I am really tired of the whole thing. But, yet you keep pursuing me. I am going to get my new boyfriend to fuck you up when he sees your ass! Let’s let this go! I am really tired and

This bitch the other day when I was going home was so fucking rude...it made me sick. If you are going somewhere and it is crowded, why wouldn’t you say excuse me so that you may enter. Why the fuck do you think that since you only weigh 90 pounds that you can fit! That isn’t so, and by the way they made an invention called deoderant, I think you should invest in that shit. Then when you finally sat down you and your ignorant girlfriend the both of you could have sat next too each other instead of screaming back and forth like two cunt-dumb bitches! Who the fuck cares about your baby’s father! If you would have kept your stank-ass legs closed you would not be in this situation. I hope I don’t see you again! Really I hope! ✚ ADS ALSO APPEAR AT CITYPAPER.NET/lovehate. City Paper has the right to re-publish “I Love You, I Hate You”™ ads at the publisher’s discretion. This includes re-purposing the ads for online publication, or for any other ancillary publishing projects.

The Philadelphia Songwriters Project

2014 SONGWRITING

CONTEST FINALS You Pick The Winners!

7&3: (00% “..#&&3 -*45 )"4 (308/ 50 &1*$ 1301035*0/4 ,*5$)&/ )"4 "%%&% "/ &953" #&-- 8*5) 1&3)"14 5)& $*5:Âľ4 #&45 '3*5&4 40.& 45&--"3 #&&3 #"55&3&% '*4) "/% 7&3: (00% .644&-4Âł Craig LeBan, Philadelphia Inquirer,

(*'5 $&35*'*$"5&4 "7"*-"#-&

!$ 163AB<CB AB >67:/23:>67/ # " ! ' & @3A3@D/B7=<A /B( eee ScZ]UgPO` Q][

Underground Arts 1200 Callowhill St. Philadelphia, PA

Sunday May 18

Doors at 3:30 pm. Show 4:00 pm

Tickets $18 Door $10 Senior, Student with ID. Discounts for advance purchase www.phillysongwriters.com

The Philadelphia Songwriters Project

2014 SONGWRITING

CONTEST FINALS You Pick The Winners!

7&3: (00% “..#&&3 -*45 )"4 (308/ 50 &1*$ 1301035*0/4 ,*5$)&/ )"4 "%%&% "/ &953" #&-- 8*5) 1&3)"14 5)& $*5:Âľ4 #&45 '3*5&4 40.& 45&--"3 #&&3 #"55&3&% '*4) "/% 7&3: (00% .644&-4Âł Craig LeBan, Philadelphia Inquirer,

(*'5 $&35*'*$"5&4 "7"*-"#-&

!$ 163AB<CB AB >67:/23:>67/ # " ! ' & @3A3@D/B7=<A /B( eee ScZ]UgPO` Q][

Underground Arts 1200 Callowhill St. Philadelphia, PA

Sunday May 18

Doors at 3:30 pm. Show 4:00 pm

Tickets $18 Door $10 Senior, Student with ID. Discounts for advance purchase www.phillysongwriters.com

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