Philadelphia City Paper, July 4th, 2013 by Philadelphia City Paper

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GEEKS MEET?

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The CHF

Museum on

First Fridays! every First Friday,

March through December 5 to 8 p.m.

chemheritage.org/firstfridays

Publisher Nancy Stuski Editor in Chief Theresa Everline Senior Editor Patrick Rapa News Editor Samantha Melamed Arts Editor/Copy Chief Emily Guendelsberger Digital Media Editor/Movies Editor Paulina Reso Food Editor/Listings Editor Caroline Russock Staff Writers Ryan Briggs, Daniel Denvir Assistant Copy Editor Carolyn Wyman Associate Web Producer Carly Szkaradnik Contributors Sam Adams, A.D. Amorosi, Rodney Anonymous, Mary Armstrong, Meg Augustin, Justin Bauer, Bryan Bierman, Shaun Brady, Peter Burwasser, Mark Cofta, Alison Dell, Adam Erace, David Anthony Fox, Caitlin Goodman, K. Ross Hoffman, Brian Howard, Deni Kasrel, Alli Katz, Gary M. Kramer, Drew Lazor, Gair “Dev 79” Marking, Robert McCormick, Andrew Milner, Annette Monnier, Michael Pelusi, Elliott Sharp, Tom Tomorrow, John Vettese, Nikki Volpicelli, Brian Wilensky Editorial Interns Naveed Ahsan, Michael Buozis, Lalita Clozel, Jordyn Horowitz, Michelle Ma, Mike Mullen, Matt Schickling, Lara Witt Production Director Michael Polimeno Editorial Art Director Reseca Peskin Senior Designer Evan M. Lopez Editorial Designers Brenna Adams, Jenni Betz Staff Photographer Neal Santos Contributing Photographers Jessica Kourkounis, Mark Stehle Contributing Illustrators Ryan Casey, Don Haring Jr., Joel Kimmel, Cameron K. Lewis, Thomas Pitilli, Matthew Smith Human Resources Ron Scully (ext. 210) Circulation Director Mark Burkert (ext. 239) Senior Account Managers Colette Alexandre (ext. 250), Nick Cavanaugh (ext. 260), Sharon MacWilliams (ext. 262), Stephan Sitzai (ext. 258) Account Manager Amanda Gambier (ext. 228) Office Coordinator/Adult Advertising Sales Alexis Pierce (ext. 234) Founder & Editor Emeritus Bruce Schimmel citypaper.net 123 Chestnut Street, Third Floor, Phila., PA 19106. 215-735-8444, Tip Line 215-7358444 ext. 241, Letters to the Editor editorial@citypaper.net, Listings Fax 215-8751800, Classified Ads 215-248-CITY, Advertising Fax 215-735-8535, Subscriptions 215-735-8444 ext. 235 Philadelphia City Paper is published and distributed every Thursday in Philadelphia, Montgomery, Chester, Bucks & Delaware Counties, in South Jersey and in Northern Delaware. Philadelphia City Paper is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. Additional copies may be purchased from our main office at $1 per copy. No person may, without prior written permission from Philadelphia City Paper, take more than one copy of each issue. Pennsylvania law prohibits any person from inserting printed material of any kind into any newspaper without the consent of the owner or publisher. Contents copyright © 2013, Philadelphia City Paper. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced without written permission from the publisher. Philadelphia City Paper assumes no obligation (other than cancellation of charges for actual space occupied) for accidental errors in advertising, but will be glad to furnish a signed letter to the buying public.

contents The people in your neighborhood

The Naked City .........................................................................6 Arts & Entertainment.........................................................19 Movies.........................................................................................22 The Agenda ..............................................................................24

315 Chestnut Street Philadelphia

Food & Drink ...........................................................................30 COVER PHOTOGRAPH BY NEAL SANTOS DESIGN BY RESECA PESKIN

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naked

the thebellcurve CP’s Quality-o-Life-o-Meter

[ +1 ]

Gov. Corbett reveals a $140 million rescue plan for the Philadelphia School District, which faces a $304 million deficit. But this half-rescue was hard-fought, and not without cost. So Corbett decrees that each year, the various schools of Philadelphia shall offer up in tribute one young man and woman to be liquefied and blasted into the soil to aid in the collection of natural gas.

[0]

Penn Health System announces its hospitals will no longer hire smokers. But they promise to keep your resume on file, you know, for when you come back.

[ +1 ]

A group of 25 bicycle cops on a training ride in Upper Darby arrest a couple having sex on a park bench. “Dear Penthouse, I was banging my man in the park when suddenly 25 cops rolled up. Yadda yadda yadda, I got punched in the face 25 times.”

[ -3 ]

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A protester is arrested in Harrisburg for writing “Governor Corbett has health insurance, we should too” in chalk on the sidewalk outside the Governor’s Mansion. “As a sign of my generosity and forgiveness,” says Corbett, “this young graffito will be liquefied and blasted into the soil to aid in the collection of natural gas.” Openly gay state Rep. Brian Sims is blocked from talking about the Supreme Court’s ruling on the Defense of Marriage Act by fellow Rep. Daryl Metcalfe, who says he felt obligated to stop an “open rebellion against God’s law.” Later, Metcalfe has dinner with his wife/property, then stones a slave for wearing garments woven of more than one kind of cloth.

[ -1 ]

The Pennsylvania Horticultural Society cuts 22 employees to make up for losses from this year’s disappointing Flower Show. “In the garden, growth has its seasons,” explains PHS spokesman Alan Jaffe. “As long as the roots are not severed, all is well. And all will be well in the garden.”

[0]

Comcast launches a campaign to promote its children’s programming and parental-control options. It’s weird, because for second it sounded like they said “thought control,” but now we can’t find a reference to that anywhere. Huh.

This week’s total: -6 | Last week’s total: -8

GETTING HIS KICKS: Dan McQuade celebrates his overnight success in copping a pair of Benjamins, a release of the New Balance 1600. JESSICA KOURKOUNIS

[ consumerism ]

ALL ABOUT THE BENJAMIN Sneakerheads ignore Franklin’s dictum: “Lost time is never found again.” By Dan McQuade

“

hat’s going on here?” the woman asks, stumbling in high heels. “Is this a foot-massage parlor?” She looks down across Walnut Street, her joke drawing no laughs from the already-tired group sunk down in their chairs. “We’re waiting for a sneaker,” a voice yells in the night. “I know,” she says. “Why?” “There’s really no good reason. We just really like sneakers.” Onlookers’ questions continue through the night as the line stretches closer to 15th Street. The occasion: the release of a new sneaker at Ubiq, the Walnut Street sneaker shop whose most prominent contribution to Philadelphia culture is the “ill” T-shirt. Athletic-sneaker culture has been around for 30-plus years, but now the kids raised on a diet of basketball and TV commercials in the ’80s and ’90s are young men with jobs and money to burn. They monitor Twitter and Facebook for deals on new kicks. They swap or resell sneakers on eBay. They buy reissues of childhood favorites; I own a retro pair of Air Max 180s, my first running sneaker. In 1991, The Source wrote we were in the “complex, bugged, super duty, high octane, moon boots period” of sneaker culture. Describing that culture today would require at least 25 additional adjectives. I arrive three hours after Ubiq allows a line to start forming, waiting out earlier thunderstorms while I fretted about which kicks I’d wear to impress the sneakerheads. I slip on a pair of yellow and blue

Air Max 2012s and walk over, nabbing a key spot under an awning. I check in and learn I’m No. 51. There are only around 30 people in line; several spots are marked with what I learn are called “ghost chairs.” It’s a tactic familiar to Philadelphians saving parking spots. It’s a little after 11 p.m. on the last Friday in June. The store opens at 9 a.m. Saturday. I am already tired. The sneakerheads are camping out for the Benjamin, a limitededition New Balance 1600 inspired by Philadelphia’s most famous founding father. Though New Balance owns five U.S. factories in New England, the red, white and blue Benjamin — complete with 13 stars on the tongue — is made in Vietnam. Sneaker blogs and message boards have been drooling over this release for weeks. Only the post-championship LeBron kicks are spilling more digital ink. It’s rare to see a line for a running sneaker, especially a smaller brand like New Balance, but Ubiq is the best-known sneaker boutique in town and apparently this release is worth the wait. In the sneaker line, you are not a person but a number — the lower the number, the less chance you’ll miss out on copping the sneaker. An employee tells me everyone will get a pair, but won’t say how many sneakers are up for grabs. So there’s a sense of dread: What if I wait for 10 hours and they’re out of my size? What if resellers — looking to make a quick profit off the hype — buy up all the pairs? (By the end of Saturday, 26 pairs of the $175 Benjamin are on eBay, at prices ranging from $215 to $400.)

“There’s no reason. We just really like sneakers.”

>>> continued on adjacent page

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✚ All About the Benjamin <<< continued from previous page

I meet No. 49 (Eddie, West Philly) and No. 50 (Vito, Media). Later, No. 52 (Nick, North Philly) and No. 53 (Alex, North Jersey). The big personality in our part of the line is No. 54 (James, South Philly). He parks his white Escalade on Walnut Street and speaks of reselling sneakers to the “Asian mafia.” Alex pulls me aside later. “He told me he was a Mummer,” he whispers. “What’s a Mummer?” The topic of conversation is mostly sneakers, though. A lot of people want to talk about what happened in Atlanta: The week before, a man attempting to rob a crowd waiting for the Nike LeBron X “Denim” was shot dead. No charges were filed. “People out here,” a customer told WSB-TV, “they weren’t going for none of that.” By 3 a.m., the usually bustling block is devoid of shoppers and workers. It’s eerie, but I figure we’re safe, thanks to our mob connections. To pass the time, we spend at least two hours talking about the box. Ubiq has a gimmick for this collaboration: boxes from Brooklynbased Good Wood, with the Ubiq logo and Benjamin Franklin imagery laser-etched into the sides. Twenty-four buyers who find a key in their cardboard sneaker box get to take their kicks home in a wooden box instead. The people in line speak of the box as if it’s the Ark of the Covenant. “I would shit my pants if I get that box,” Alex says. Those exhausted from talking sneakers slip off for smoke and 7-Eleven breaks. Others walk around the corner to an alley that’s functioning as the bathroom. I realize that I prefer camping out in Center City to camping out in the woods. It’s all downtime. It’s boring. But it’s also sort of a convention: 100-plus people in Center City overnight, rapping about sneakers for hours. Oddly, I’m enjoying it. The sun rises and the city begins to stir. People get coffee. A rep from New Balance brings free donuts. Ubiq employees clean up trash. The line swells in size, wrapping around the corner and

down 15th Street. Paranoia washes over our section of the line. We psych each other out, trying to estimate the shoe sizes of those in front of us. At 10:30 a.m., two cops show up, reporting complaints from other businesses on the block. They’re told the Atlanta story, too. “That guy got what he deserved,” the officer says. I finally enter the shop just after the 12-hour mark. Tired and sweaty, I walk into the Ubiq elevator, which is not in service because it’s stacked to the top with sneaker boxes. Looking to get to bed as soon as possible, I ask for the one on top in my size. As a friendly employee hands it to me, I notice: It’s falling apart. I hadn’t cared about the box much in line, but I get excited. I pay and an employee helps me check inside. My hunch was right. There’s a key. The store employees whoop. I put my sneakers in the wood box and pose for a celebratory photo. When I finish, I notice Alex checking out at the register; he, too, found a key. His pants unsoiled, we exchange an overly excited high five. I walk outside into an instant market for the box (No. 10 of 24). I decline to sell; it can be used to hold my ashes when I die. I head home, my sneaker campout more of a success than I would have imagined. Now, to never do it again. Maybe. (editorial@citypaper.net)

✚ CORRECTION In a blog post dated May 3, 2013, and an article dated May 9, 2013, we identified John Dougherty as the owner or a part-owner of Doc’s Union Pub. Mr. Dougherty has informed us that he is neither an owner nor a part-owner of Doc’s Union Pub and has made available for our review documents that support that representation, which we accept as true. We regret the error and apologize to Mr. Dougherty.

hitandrun ³ news in brief

³ SERGEANT BUCKLEY HAS been shooting video all day — from about 6 inches off

the ground. The most constant image in the footage is his tongue, hanging in every shot like an errant boom mike. “That, and a lot of corgi butts,” says Buckley’s owner, Jonathan Davis. He and his wife, Lisa, hung the GoPro from Buckley’s collar for a corgi’s-eye view of a party with about 60 other corgis and their owners. The event, held at Hibernia Park in Coatesville, is called the Philly Area Corgi Picnic, but attendees have come from all over. The Davises drove from Allentown; others came from North Carolina, Florida, even Canada. How’d they hear about it? “My wife actually is friends with about 900 corgis on Facebook,” says Davis, “and one of them mentioned it.” Many people here run Facebook pages for their corgis. “He’s got 380-something friends; I’ve got, like, 40,” laughs Eileen Homa, who came from North Wales with her corgi Martin Matthew. Martin “has a couple of friends here that we only see once a year, but we talk to on a daily basis.” One is “Deb from Canada,” aka Deb Reid. (“She’s an important corgi person,” Homa explains.) Reid, who drove from Toronto with her corgis Rupert and Jemma, also went to this year’s Florida picnic (“It’s on a private pet resort that’s all fenced in, and 300 corgis run loose!”). Are the dogs aware today is more than just a trip to the dog park? “Absolutely!” says Reid. “Breeds know breeds.” “They recognize other corgis, definitely,” says Liz Maudlin of Harrisburg. When they see other corgis on walks, she says, it’s “as if they’re recognizing someone that’s part of the family — a long-lost cousin.” —Emily Guendelsberger

By Daniel Denvir

FAILING GRADE ³ AS GOV. TOM CORBETT prepared to sign

Pennsylvania’s latest austerity budget Sunday night, he proposed his very own, $140 million “rescue package” for Philly public schools. Unfortunately the state, which has a constitutional obligation to fund public schools, is simply passing the check to those who can least afford to pay. Corbett’s plan, which is worth only $127 million when already-budgeted spending is taken into account, falls far short of plugging the schools’ $304 million budget gap, and is $53 million short of the School Reform Commission’s combined request from city and state governments. It’s also a shell game, so watch closely. Much of the funding comes from optimistic projections of increased collections from city tax delinquents and from an extension of the city’s “temporary” 1-percent sales-tax hike. The latter is simply the state giving the city the power to further tax its own heavily low-income population.This is patently regressive taxation, meaning that it takes disproportionately from the poor — in a city that already has a regressive wage tax, and in a state that has one of the most regressive tax structures in the nation. The diversion of the sales tax also robs Philadelphia of the opportunity to use that money for other pressing needs, such as pension shortfalls. There is only $47 million in new state funding for city schools beyond what Corbett proposed previously. Critically, $45 million of that is a onetime-only expenditure — and it actually comes not from Corbett, but from the Obama administration. The plan also requires a staggering $133 million in concessions from union workers, mostly from teachers who already make 19 percent less thantheir suburban counterparts. Worse yet, the sales-tax extension and the state money will only be released if the secretary of education determines that the school district has implemented “reforms that will provide for the district’s fiscal stability, education improvement and operational control.”This is a nod to the folks who want to break Philadelphia’s teachers’ union. The budget Corbett signed continues hundreds of millions of dollars in cuts to public schools, universities, environmental protection and programs that care for the poor, homeless, recovering addicts and victims of domestic violence. There is, once again, more money for prisons. Meanwhile, the old fair-funding formula targeting dollars to the most needy students instituted by Gov. Ed Rendell remains in the dustbin. The brave new formula requires Philadelphians and teachers to pay more than we can afford, while wealthy businesses and nonprofits contribute next to nothing. ✚ Send feedback to daniel.denvir@citypaper.net.

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E M I LY G U E N D E L S B E R G E R

Liz Maudlin’s corgi Lily won the Corgi Picnic’s costume contest.

I LOVES YOU, CORGI

hostilewitness

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[ is an important corgi person ]

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S U M M E R B LO C K B U ST E R S free moonbounces). Philadelphians submitted more than 8,000 block-party applications in 2012, according to Streets Department stats; 7,116 of those were approved. Scores of street parties take place each weekend through the summer, but they’re really popular on Memorial Day, Labor Day and, especially, Fourth of July weekend, which is the premier block-party occasion of the year. City Paper requested a list of block parties for the weekend of June 21 and got one — 19 pages and 216 parties long. That’s impressive, given that getting a permit

P H OTO S BY N E A L SA N TO S WO R DS BY SA M A N T H A M E L A M E D

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For just one, sticky-hot summer day, when baking sidewalks send ripples into the air and hydrants are cracked open like cheap beers, forget those everyday news stories about Philadelphia. For this moment, we’re not the fattest, greenest, poorest or biking-est. We are the partying-est. As far as we can tell, Philadelphia issues more block-party permits per year than any other city — more than Boston (with 5,000), New York (2,300), D.C. (500), Los Angeles (250) or Chicago (5,000, though that city gets extra points for loaning out

requires extensive legwork, including obtaining signatures from 75 percent of the households on the block and fronting a $25 to $60 fee. The Streets Department and the local police district then review each application for approval. In its most elemental form, a Philly block party might be little more than a handful of neighbors clustered around a card table in the middle of the street. But others are reunions that residents look forward to all year long, and some are epic celebrations that attract friends and strangers from across the city. In honor of this ever-evolving tradition, CP crashed five block parties around Philadelphia. What did they have in common? Just about every block believed they were the best block. We say that if only more residents on more blocks felt that way, Philly would be a cleaner, happier, friendlier and just plain better place to live.

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July 18 August 1

University City

Enter to Win $50 Gift CertiďŹ cate at

Citypaper.net/win

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30 YEARS OF INDEPENDENT J O U R N A L I S M | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T

C I T Y PA P E R â&#x20AC;&#x2122; S G U I D E T O P H I L A D E L P H I A

2012 - 2013

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icepack By A.D. Amorosi

³ WHEN KEITH RICHARDS wished Philly a

THEY WATCH THE WATCHMEN: (L-R) Christian Simmons, Zachary Fairbrother and Emily Robb of Lantern.

[ rock ]

PAINT IT BLACK AND WHITE Lantern aces the Rock ’N’ Roll Rorschach test. By Elliott Sharp

“You have to come up with your own meaning.”

>>> continued on page 20

mily Robb and Zachary Fairbrother of Philly band Lantern are lounging in a shadowy booth at Oscar’s Tavern, downing lagers and explaining why they named their first LP Rock ’N’ Roll Rorschach. “We’d both just read Watchmen,” says Robb, referring to Alan Moore’s graphic novel, which includes a grim, misanthropic vigilante named Rorschach. “He exists in a world of black and white,” adds Fairbrother. “He believes in good and evil.” “There’s no indecision for him,” says Robb. “He makes a choice and never sways from it. There’s also Poison Ivy Rorschach, from [punk band] the Cramps. The title’s supposed to evoke some kind of familiar environment the listener can draw from.” “But the language doesn’t immediately make sense, so you have to come up with your own meaning,” Fairbrother says. “We also just thought it was a really cool name.” And it’s a good fit. Out next week on Louisville label Sophomore Lounge, Rock ’N’ Roll Rorschach is lyrically and sonically jammed with insider nods to rock music’s leather-clad lexicon and sacred mythology. It’s partly a statement about how the meaning of rock

’n’ roll changes depending on who’s perceiving it, and when it’s being perceived. But, much like the comic-book character, Lantern — Fairbrother (guitar/vocals), Robb (bass/vocals) and Christian Simmons (drums) — doesn’t hide which version of the tradition they’re fighting for: the trashier, dodgier, switchbladier rock ’n’ roll of yore. Compared to Lantern’s past recordings — five EPs, plus a few singles and cassettes — Rock ’N’ Roll Rorschach is cleaner, louder, bigger and heavier, like a coked-up, proto-punked Exile on Main Street. The opener, “Evil Eye,” wallops with a thunderous saxophone (by guest David Fishkin) and Robb’s ominous howls about her warped dreams and twisted desires. The riffs and rhythm musically reference Iggy Pop’s “Lust for Life,” the Supremes’ “You Can’t Hurry Love” and Sabbath’s “War Pigs,” while the lyrics and paranoid vibe hint at the Stooges’ “T.V. Eye.” After a sick Wah-smothered solo by Fairbrother, a hostile Robb threatens with a few wellplaced c’mons. “Where Are We Now?” summons the ghosts of Bo Diddley’s “Who Do You Love?” and the rampaging, totally lost uncertainty of the Saints’ “(I’m) Stranded.” On side-B opener “She’s a Rebel,” a smoky, slow-dancing-but-scowling ballad, Robb flips the gender on the Crystals’ “He’s a Rebel.” Then there’s “Out of Our Heads,” which steals its name from a Stones album and winks at a Dead Boys riff.

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happy 331st birthday (“I don’t know [who’s] older”) during the first Rolling Stones show at Wells Fargo Center, I know how he felt. We’re creaky but celebratory. So I’d like to extend Mr. Richards’ wishes to y’all: Happy July 4, you cradle of liberty. You’re not getting older. Just pricier, noisier, better, etc. ³ Don’t complain that there’s nowhere good to eat late at night anymore. One-time Mercato maven Mackenzie Hilton (maybe you know her from when she won the Food Network’s Chopped) returns kinda-sorta to her old stomping grounds at The Tavern on S. Camac Street. (Just look down, it’s the basement of Tavern on Camac). There, she — along with operations director Randal Mrazik — will keep the kitchen open until 3 a.m. every night save Tuesdays with a menu of monkfish po’ boys, mushroom-black-bean-edamame burgers and more. Expect the Tavern to be packed from this moment on. ³ With Mayor Michael Nutter heck-bent on turning every patch of concrete and tar into a grassy knoll, look for Eakins Oval to become “The Oval,” complete with a biergarten, mini-golf course, pop-up gardens and live music. He’ll preview the green stage July 11, 1 p.m. Bring a yoga mat. ³ Legendary Philly radio man and archivist Denny Somach has interviewed more classic-rock cats than the IRS and the DEA combined. Of course, everything needs refreshing here in the Beats by Dre/earbuds age, so to the rescue comes producer Tony Bongiovi (references include Aerosmith and Ozzy). In partnership with the Classic Rock Society of America, Bongiovi is restoring an exclusive catalog curated from the Somach Productions archives, with video-montage slideshows wherever possible (via subscription to radio and Internet stations). ³ Since the end of last year, Bill Boyle (a financial advisor whose family ran Boyle’s Tumble Inn in the Fairmount section for 35 years) has been busy transforming Third and South’s Blarney Bar & Grill into his new own creation, the Boyler Room.“It wasn’t very Irish by the time I got it,” says Boyle, who wanted to run a chilled, unpretentious hangout. He just brought in Philly-themed film posters, fresh bar food (“our crab fries actually have scoops of crab meat on top”) and a pool table. “I want this place to be a throwback, the type of place that’s comfortable to whoever comes in, the type of place that gives away the last shot in any bottle for free. You don’t get that old-school vibe anymore. That’s what I want the Boyler Room to have.” ³ Like the second earth we can’t see because it’s on the opposite side of the sun, there’s a whole other Icepack at citypaper. net/criticalmass. (a_amorosi@citypaper.net)

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✚ Paint it Black and White <<< continued from page 19

“Some people like the danger in sex. I like that danger.” For the rabid finale, Robb and Simmons unite for a nasty, Zeppelin-y raw-power-rhythm as Fairbrother squeezes screams from his Stratocaster. It is easy to get swept away by all this magic. But rock ’n’ roll comes with baggage, and Rock ’N’ Roll Rorschach is no exception. This sicker side reveals itself on the hyper-masculine “King of the Jungle,” where a mojo-frenzied, root-rubbing Fairbrother embraces all the dumb cock-worshipping machismo of the canon. “There’s definitely a tradition of sexism in rock ’n’ roll which I don’t want to maintain,” explains Robb. “But I don’t feel like an object of it when I’m playing this song, because women should find power in sex, too. If I heard it as someone outside of the band, I’m not sure how I’d react. But, from my position, I’m part of this. And some people like the danger in sex. I like that danger.” “It’s also campy,” adds Fairbrother, who claims the lyrics are inspired by Diddley’s “I’m a Man” and the Stooges’ “Cock in My Pocket.” Here’s the first verse: “I got that evil eye/ I got that mojo hand/ King of the jungle, baby/ Gonna make me your man.” “The song’s ironic, and making fun of the tradition. It’s a ridiculous fantasy. It’s not politically cor-

[ arts & entertainment ]

rect, but it’s more sophisticated than a typical cock-rock song.” Like some of the other new tunes, “King of the Jungle” is written from the perspective of a wide-eyed, rock-crazed teenage boy. “It’s the same mentality I had when I was a teenager, when I first heard rock music,” he says. “It sounds juvenile, but I always thought those rock ’n’ roll guys were really cool. They had long hair and leather jackets and cool guitars and big amps. They were untouchable in a mythological sense. We want to be a part of that lineage —” “Rock music just makes me wanna dance,” interrupts Robb. “It makes my blood flow; it’s the only language I speak. I just fucking love rock ’n’ roll.” (elliott.sharp@citypaper.net) ✚ Lantern plays Fri., July 5, 9:15 p.m.,

$10, with Chris Forsyth & the Solar Motel Band and Ivory Tuskk, Johnny Brenda’s, 1201 N. Frankford Ave., 215739-9684, johnnybrendas.com.

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‘A HIJACKING’ WERE AN AMERICAN MOVIE ,

IT WOULD BE WIDELY PROCLAIMED AS ONE OF THE BEST FILMS OF THE YEAR .” – Andrew O’Hehir, Salon

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–Kenneth Turan, LOS ANGELES TIMES

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AUDIENCE AWARD NEW AUTEURS

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FILMS ARE GRADED BY CITY PAPER CRITICS A-F.

OFFICIAL SELECTION – TORONTO

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City EXCLUSIVE ENGAGEMENT LANDMARK’SCenter RITZ AT THE BOURSE (215) 440-1181 STARTS FRIDAY, JULY 5

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DESPICABLE ME 2 | A Muddling harmless adult humor up with kiddie-pleasing creatures, gadgets and physical comedy, the sequel to Despicable Me boasts just one discernible difference from that well-made 2010 hit animated feature: They’ve decided to make the bad guys even more likeable. But low stakes still lead to laugh-out-loud rewards in this light followup, which will delight little ones without making parents want to pop their skulls in a vise. Embracing daddy mode with his three adopted daughters, sweetheart baddie Gru (voiced by Steve Carell) has all but left behind his life of crime, repurposing his sinister lab for a pursuit slightly sweeter than stealing the moon: producing a line of artisanal jams and jellies. But he’s back in the game once the cloak-and-dagger Anti-Villain League, repped by spastic Lucy (Kristen Wiig), recruits him to locate a stolen serum that turns any cute-’n’-cuddly being into a psychotic killing machine. Gru’s yolk-yellow “minions,” whose incoherent gibberish and indestructibility make them perfect fodder for pratfalls, are the obvious stars of this franchise, but writers Ken Daurio and Cinco Paul deserve the real daps for their skill weaving grown-up themes into the action. Gru’s interactions with Jillian (Nasim Pedrad), an airhead neighbor and inept bleach-blonde yenta, are silly for the youngins but uncomfortably familiar enough to make parents chuckle — especially if they’re single. —Drew Lazor (Wide release)

To place your FREE ad, email lovehate@citypaper.net or go to CITYPAPER.NET/LOVEHATE and follow the prompts.

A HIJACKING | AThe first indication that A Hijacking is unconcerned with Hollywood-style heroism comes when the pivotal, titular action on which the gripping Danish drama turns, the takeover of a cargo ship by Somali pirates, happens

offscreen. While the pirates are boarding the ship and herding its frightened crew below deck, writer/director Tobias Lindholm places us in a corporate office half a world away, where the CEO of the company whose ship is being taken, played with icy efficiency by Søren Malling, is engaged in a tense negotiation with a group of Japanese businessmen. That multimillion-dollar business deal will prove to be a cakewalk next to the prolonged negotiation with the pirates, which is the chief concern of Lindholm’s film. There’s never a suggestion that the situation will end with anything other than the payment of ransom, so the film’s taut suspense is generated not from death-defying action but from a protracted psychological tug-of-war. There’s no chest-thumping bravado in the film, no daring rescue missions or guns-blazing raids on the ship. Instead, both sides settle in for a long, wearying ordeal as the men in suits and the men with guns haggle over a price. Scenes alternate between the deteriorating conditions aboard the ship and the increasingly stressful discussions in the boardroom as days turn into weeks and eventually months. The prevailing mood is one of highly wrought tedium, the threat of violence a constant, low-level background hum. —Shaun Brady (Ritz at the Bourse)

THE LONE RANGER | CApparently unsatisfied with the ass-whooping it took from John Carter,Disney has scraped the dust off another American hero from yesteryear with the intention of sprucing him up for modern audiences. But while The Lone Ranger enjoys much more pop-culture cachet than Burroughs’ spaceman, this reimagining is the most baffling Mickey movie this side of Beverly Hills Chihuahua — and pale-faced Johnny Depp playing an Indian is the least weird thing about it. With an elderly Tonto (Depp) flashing back to recount his life story to a kid at a carni-

20 FEET FROM STARDOM | A â&#x20AC;&#x153;Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m in love with melody,â&#x20AC;? Lisa Fischer informs us early on in Morgan Nevilleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s 20 Feet From Stardom, the discernible timidity in her speaking voice suggesting sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d find the chat more natural with a microphone in her hand. Fischer is just one of the many 20 Feet vocalists whoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve chiseled together a career in session and backup singing, and while itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a gift to watch them work, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s even more fascinating to listen to them articulate their many regrets and aspirations. Commingling backup singer legends (Rock and Roll Hall of Famer Darlene Love) with hopeful future stars (recent The Voice contestant Judith Hill), Neville captures the cruel and fickle ride that is the recording business â&#x20AC;&#x201D; plenty of opportunities to punch a time card, but few, if any, chances to reach the top. Each performer has a different explanation for why she never broke through, but it all becomes irrelevant once they take the stage, whether in the back or front and center. â&#x20AC;&#x201D;DL (Ritz Five)

Nothing screams vanity project like an A-list director gathering a group of friends at his house for a tossedoff movie shoot, but the blitzkunst approach suits both Joss Whedon and his material, William Shakespeareâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Much Ado About Nothing. In contrast to Kenneth Branaghâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s ossified film version, Whedonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Much Ado is light on its feet, populated with a repertory company drawn from veterans of Angel, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Dollhouse and Firefly. It might be easy to write this off as the Bard done Comic-Con style, but Whedonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not handing out favors. Even those whoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve never set foot in the Whedonverse should find it an intriguing staging, more in the vein of the Globe Theaterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s rapidly rotating productions than the overstuffed affairs that have since supplanted them. â&#x20AC;&#x201D;SA (Ritz Five)

UNFINISHED SONG | BTaken as the sum of its parts, Unfinished Song feels like something that could be suggested on the Michael Haneke parody Twitter feed: a blend of the real Hanekeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s unflinching examination of aging and death, Amour, with Stephen Walkerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s â&#x20AC;&#x153;Gosh,

your shirt. â&#x20AC;&#x201D;DL (Wide release)

â&#x153;&#x161; THE AWESOME FEST LIBERTY LANDS 926 N. American St., nlna.org/liberty-lands-2. The Goonies (1985, U.S., 114 min.): â&#x20AC;&#x153;I have an idea! Why donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t we just spread chocolate all over the floor and let Chunk eat his way through?â&#x20AC;? Fri., July 5, 9 p.m., free.

PARX CASINO

WHITE HOUSE DOWN | BPacked sardine-tight with well-timed wisecracks, incompetent redshirts and even a Samson-size Germanic henchman, Roland Emmerichâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s return to the residence he blew up in Independence Day is jingo cinema at its stars-and-barsiest. On the verge of signing a momentous Middle East peace agreement, streetwise President Sawyer (Jamie Foxx) suddenly finds 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue teeming with domestic terrorists. Lucky for the chief, Capitol Policeman and decorated war vet John Cale (Channing Tatum) happens to be touring the building, his vocalized neuroses fueling a mission to protect Sawyer while serving up John McClane stained tank top realness. With nearly every element of a proper â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;80s actioner in place â&#x20AC;&#x201D; bad jokes, bad fights, bad guys who earn eventual bad treatment â&#x20AC;&#x201D; White House Downâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s appeal lies in its garish predictability. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s as junky and satisfying as the Doritos you smuggled into the theater under

Picnic Grove, 3001 Street Rd., 888-5887279, parxcasino.com. Top Gun (1986, U.S., 110 min.): Probably the only film to include a montage of Tom Cruise playing beach volleyball in Leviâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s. Sat., July 6, 8 p.m., free.

BALCONY AT THE TROC 1003 Arch St., 215-922-6888, theawesomefest.com. The Adventures of Bob & Doug McKenzie: Strange Brew (1983, Canada, 90 min.): Something evil is brewing, and no, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not the beer. Sat., July 6, 8 p.m., free.

More on:

citypaper.net and big boss at Shanachie Entertainment, Grass has a deep knowledge of world music and is impressed enough by

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Sat, July 6th, 9pm, donations @ door Full Blown Cherry w/ Lisa Doll

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amusebouche By Adam Erace

CLAW DEGREE LUKE’S LOBSTER | 130 S. 17th St., 215-564-1415, lukeslobster.com. Hours: Sun.-Thu., 11 a.m.-9 p.m.; Fri.-Sat., 11 a.m.-10 p.m. Soups, $8; rolls, $8-$15.

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³ JUST SOUTH OF Portland, Maine, the town of

Cape Elizabeth has gray-sand beaches, quaint B&Bs and the kind of old lighthouse you could set a Diane Lane movie in. Luke Holden grew up here, learning the lobster trade from his father, Jeff, a lobsterman and dealer and processor of the crustaceans. After college and a move to Manhattan, Holden became disillusioned not only with Wall Street, but with the lack of legit lobster rolls in New York. So he did what any savvy finance-degree-holder does: He quit and went into the restaurant business. He connected with Ben Conniff, then a food journalist, and brought in father Jeff to start Luke’s Lobster, which opened in the East Village in 2009. “It was a big hit,” Conniff, now vice prez, says, “so we opened a bunch more in New York, then expanded to D.C. and now we’re in Philly.” Luke’s Philly outpost opened in a Rittenhouse basement in May. You order at the counter, grab drinks (like made-in-Maine Root blueberry soda) from a fridge and take a seat at a communal picnic table. The menu is small: lobster, crab and shrimp rolls in various combos, plus clam chowder and a soup du jour (like spicy Cajun crab) from Maine’s family-owned soup company Hurricane’s. What’s almost more impressive than the rolls are the inventions Holden & Co. employ to make them: A butter-rolling device coats the outsides of the traditional top-split bun, helping it become golden on the griddle. A twin-nozzle squeeze bottle puts a stripe of mayo on each side of the bread’s interior. A baster anoints the finished roll with lemon butter. Wait: mayo and butter? Isn’t it one or the other in Maine? “You can have some mayo, you can have some butter,” explains Conniff. “The thing is, there’s not enough of either to cover the flavor of the lobster. You’re not making a seafood salad.” With that goal in mind, Luke’s Lobster succeeds. You do taste the quarter-pound of knuckle and claw meat piled into the roll.That all the meat is precooked at Luke’s processing facility in Saco, Maine, and trucked down to the various urban shacks doesn’t seem to diminish the quality. “We have eyes and ears all up and down the Maine coast,” Conniff says. “We know who’s having a good catch, what the weather is like.” The chain buys direct from lobstermen, and Holden donates a portion of profits to the Maine Lobstermen’s Community Alliance. Bet his dad is proud. (adam.erace@citypaper.net)

PLANT KINGDOM: Jack Goldenberg and Adrian Galbraith-Paul tend to their crops. NEAL SANTOS

[ farming ]

URBAN PLOT A pair of Kensington entrepreneurs are growing high-end produce within city limits. By Michael Buozis

ack Goldenberg doesn’t talk like a typical urban farmer. “I’m not a catastrophist about vegetables,” he says, taking a break from pruning tomato plants at a small farm in the Wynnefield Heights neighborhood. His white T-shirt is stained with dirt and the cuffs of his jeans frayed around his muddy work boots. “I’m not concerned with GMOs and monocultures. I’m not doing this because of food deserts in the inner city. People in Kensington don’t need kale. If anything, the people that are hungry in that neighborhood need more hamburgers.” Goldenberg is, in short, a pragmatist in a field crowded with idealists. But his unusual outlook More on: has enabled him to do for a living what many others do for a hobby: grow vegetables, herbs and edible flowers, and then market and sell them, all within city limits. In addition to the four 100-foot rows he tends on rented land in Fairmount Park, he also leases a lot near Sixth and Thompson streets and sublets a third garden at Frankford and Cambria from the New Kensington Community Development Corporation. These unlikely addresses are the origin point for some rather high-end ingredients, like garlic scapes, borage flowers and Malabar spinach,

citypaper.net

served up in some of the best Center City restaurants. Goldenberg, 26, studied philosophy at Kenyon College and later cooked in kitchens like The Farm and Fisherman before turning to urban agriculture last spring. When he started, he had no real knowledge of agriculture or plants, let alone a business plan. What he did have was a firm understanding of the restaurant business and a desire for a change of pace. “I’m a chef and I know what to grow.” However, Goldenberg didn’t actually know how to grow what his customers wanted. For example, early on he asked the chef David Gilberg of Portuguese BYO Koo Zee Doo (sadly slated to close July 14) if there was any produce used in Portuguese cuisine that was difficult to find in Philadelphia markets. The chef asked for malagueta peppers. Goldenberg promised he could grow them. It turned out he could not. Eventually, a business model materialized through trial and error and hustle. Goldenberg realized that the lot at Sixth and Thompson was too small for a substantial vegetable crop, so he turned to growing edible flowers like squash blossoms. A summer squash goes for $1 or less at farmers’ markets; squash blosMORE FOOD AND soms, harvested earlier in the season, can DRINK COVERAGE sell for 40 cents. Young, green shoots of garAT C I T Y P A P E R . N E T / lic have recently become popular on menus M E A LT I C K E T. as garlic scapes, and sell for more than the mature cloves harvested later in the year. He also forages at the Fairmount Park farm for chive blossoms and other edibles. Now, Goldenberg and fellow Kenyon grad Adrian GalbraithPaul run the farming operation full time with paid interns and neighborhood part-timers to assist them — and their business is expanding. Two weeks ago they tilled and planted five 75-foot rows >>> continued on adjacent page

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theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re now renting at the Schuylkill Environmental Center in Roxborough. At the Sixth and Thompson lot, Galbraith-Paul pops a flower off a potted nasturtium plant. The orange petals taste fresh, crisp and primed to add a bit of color to a salad. He and Goldenberg currently sell produce to about 10 restaurants, including the Farm and Fisherman, Fork and Standard Tap. Their customers need to be as agile and adaptable as they are, willing to reconfigure menu items based on whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s fresh each week. At first, to get new clients, Goldenberg drove around from restaurant to restaurant, showing his produce to any chef who would talk to him. Now, Galbraith-Paul says, â&#x20AC;&#x153;We donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have to do cold calls anymore. Just last week, Jack got a text message from a chef heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d never met, asking for squash.â&#x20AC;? The real hustle comes on Fridays, when Goldenberg makes his deliveries. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m driving around, honking my horn. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve got to run back to the truck and get out of there before PPA tickets me.â&#x20AC;? This is also where his farming venture differs from others that are devoted to community-building, nutrition or civic-minded projects. Goldenberg and Galbraith-Paul have one primary motive: making a living. Depending on what produce is in season, they basically can. Goldenberg keeps the operation, which he calls Hood Rich Farms, small and focused. He still germinates all the plants in his bedroom. He sells for other farms in the city, but wonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t wholesale produce grown outside of Philadelphia. â&#x20AC;&#x153;What, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d have a whole truck filled with vegetables grown within the city limits and then Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d have this one tray of snow peas from outside? Like, what am I doing then?â&#x20AC;? Urban farming, however, is at a distinct disadvantage when competing with large-scale rural agriculture. Urban soil, even when reconstituted in raised beds, canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t yield as much as soil in the countryside, so they have to truck over lots of compost from the Fairmount Park organic recycling center. And not every empty lot gets sufficient sunlight. Goldenbergâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s biggest concern, though, is land security. He and Galbraith-Paul have put time and effort into improving the lot they rent, adding raised beds and installing hoop houses, cleaning out debris and removing invasive weeds. But thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s nothing stopping the landlord from raising the rent and then kicking them off the property if they canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t pay. Galbraith-Paul says buying property or getting long-term leases will be necessary to make their business sustainable and secure. Still, with many of the cityâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s 40,000 empty lots located in Kensington, Goldenberg and Galbraith-Paulâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s neighborhood is ripe for innovative land use â&#x20AC;&#x201D; and small businesses like this could be a bold solution. Galbraith-Paulâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s take, though, is simpler than that: â&#x20AC;&#x153;If you can make a little money and create jobs, I figure, if youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re employing poor people to grow food to feed rich people, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s something positive.â&#x20AC;? (mbuozis@citypaper.net)

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what’scooking

LET THEM EAT TASTYKAKE!

By Carly Szkaradnik

COMING SOON...

check out londongrill.com for info

2301 FAIRMOUNT AVE . 2 1 5 . 9 7 8 . 4 5 4 5

gracetavern.com

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³ THE WEEK IN EATS Summer Movie Series at City Tap House Thu., July

4, 8 p.m., pay as you go ³ Sure, there are flashier things going on tonight, but nothing says “America: fuck yeah!” quite like kicking back with some nachos and a cold beer while cheering on Will Smith and President Bill Pullman as they save the world from a bunch of aliens who dared to blow up the White House. In addition to free popcorn and their full regular menu, the Tap House will offer a special movie-night menu featuring pulled-pork nachos, beer-braised hot dogs with candied bacon and sauerkraut and soft pretzels with cheddar-beer sauce ($8-$14). Featured brewer Yards will offer up $4 pours including Love Stout, Brawler and Philly Pale Ale. In case of rain, the show will go on inside. City Tap House, 3925 Walnut St., 215-662-0105, citytaphouse.com.

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Science on Tap Happy Hour Mon., July 8, 6 p.m.,

pay as you go ³ This month’s installment of the city’s geekiest happy hour, offered in conjunction with the Wagner Free Institute, is admittedly not on the cheeriest of subjects. Titled “The Life, Death and Rebirth of the Mississippi Delta,” the night will feature an indepth look at the history and future of the delta from Penn geophysics professor Doug Jerolmack. Sounds like Hurricane Katrina and the BP oil spill are just the tip of the iceberg of challenges facing the Louisiana coast. The good news is if it’s all a bit too sobering, you can always just order up another round of beers. National Mechanics, 22 S. Third St., scienceontapphilly.com. Summer Vacation Happy Hour: Singapore Wed., July 10, 5-7 p.m., pay as you go ³ To help you get through all those long, hot weeks when it seems like everyone but you is on vacation, Twenty Manning is doing special destination happy hours every Wednesday of the summer. This week’s theme is Singapore, which can mean only one thing: Singapore Slings! Well, it can mean a few other things, too — namely, food specials including Singaporestyle rice noodles. If you can’t make it this week, check the site for the full upcoming schedule — next week they’re hitting Mexico. Twenty Manning Grill, 261 S. 20th St., 215-731-0900, twentymanning.com. (carly@citypaper.net)

To place your FREE ad (100 word limit) ³ email lovehate@citypaper.net AMAZED AND SHOCKED!

since you didn’t even bother to stop. But just in case there’s a tiny part of your mind that feels guilty about fleeing the scene...there’s something seriously wrong with his arm. he has a hold over his eye and there are patches of skin missing here and there, but he will not be haunting you from the grave or anything. I know it was an accident. We all make mistakes. Please be more careful in the future. If you’re not sober, please don’t drive. If you hit someone, please stop to see if they’re ok. Thanks. Sorry I called you an asshole.

NOSEY BITCH I saw you outside pretending that you were wash-

light. I had to call...eventually. We discovered we had a lot in common and these things were some of the major characterististics/ likes that make us who we are. We were both having financial trouble so l let you move in for a couple months. During this time you managed to put my ex husband to shame heck any ex for that matter. You cooked, cleaned, kept my tank full/car clean without me requesting you to do so and still put time in with your craft as well as schoolwork. Do you know how sexy this is? Don’t you know everytime you made me a cup of tea I think I had a mild orgasm. For 2 months we did what many couples take lifetimes to achieve. Not a single complaint, arguement,

ARE YOU MENTAL? The shit that you tell me I can’t help to wonder is there something wrong with you? I think that you are the weirdest person because of these wanna-be love affairs that you keep having with these guys that you meet online. The first guy that you mentioned he just got out of fucking prison for fucking murdering someone. Didn’t that just ring a fucking bell in your head that you shouldn’t be fucking with him. NO, it didn’t it just seemed as though you brought yourself closer and closer toward this dude. Then you met this new guy off line, you fucked him then complianed about him having extra condoms you are fucking piece of shit! Isn’t that what they are here for...I guess you don’t care because you have your own disease right now.. I hate hearing your stories. DO us all a favor shut the fuck up and keep your stories to yourself I am tired of hearing them!

TO MY EMILIANO BY YOUR ISABEL

TO THE ASSHOLE(S)

ing your car off being fucking nosey. What is your deal? You don’t have any children, you barely go anywhere and you seem like you just don’t know where you fit in. Didn’t you want a family of your own? I know that you could of spread some of that sperm somewhere around. I just think that it is a shame of how you do things. If you really want to know something about me just ask me and I will give you the answer. Other than that mind your fucking business.

PROBATION PERIOD

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When we met your smile hit me like a piercing

or conflict for that matter just pure fun. Sure we didn’t have any strings attached but every moment we spent hustling or having fun was always conducted looking out for one anothers best interest. The sex appeal was mutual we just didn’t go there...I knew that was best until we get the rest of our lives in order. Me being the woman that I am I’d want you just because the wind blew and got my nipples hard. Straight up addicted. Shit I still get wet thinking about the way your nose felt grazing across my cheek! I could continue to go off into left field but that’s a nonfiction story that might make Zane blush. You make my heart flutter. You asked

that have your stuff on the seat next to you on Septa when the train is full-I know your lunch/ newspaper/gym clothes are exhausted and need to relax after a long hard day, but so do all the people standing, glaring at you, imploring with their eyes ‘move you fucking shit!!’ They are too meek to ask because you might be a crazy person and bash them with a hammer. So do us all a favor and be a cognizant human and move your stuff. And while I’m at it, your kid on your lap, they didn’t pay for that seat either!

P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R | J U L Y 4 - J U L Y 1 0 , 2 0 1 3 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T |

The way you make me feel every day is more than any words can say you make me feel so right and if I had it my way I’ll always hold you tight. My tall handsome music man your lyrics make my body dance tupac big and jay din’t have a clue when it comes to spittin rhymes the way you do every bar every verse a master piece in the making the beauty of your symphony leaves my body shaking. I love you because you make beautiful music and I love how one breath without you and my lungs forget how to breath entirely.

GOOD FUCKING RIDDANCE!

asshole who hit my friend with your car in Northern Liberties around 1am Sunday. I just wanted you to know that the guy you hit who was bicycling on North 4th Street is going to be ok-no need to torture yourself or wonder if he was mortallly wounded. you probably aren’t worried about it,

Hey bitch...you wanna wait until you 40 years old to try to adapt to a nickname. There is nobody going to call you what you want to be called. First of fucking all. It sounds stupid from the fucking beginning. Second of all you just need to stop being a sorry bitch and deal with your name being what it is...You don’t know how happy I am that you aren’t calling me...I know that I got my phone number changed for a reason, even though you have the new one..I am just glad your fat ass is staying away from me!

You dumb bitch you make me sick running across the fucking street like a asshole telling me that I forgot to inform you that I had a son! I don’t want anything to do with you. Can’t you tell that? I am saying this because of the fact that you and I were good friends when I was younger, after that we grew apart. What the fuck else do you expect me to do honestly? Then you gonna insult me saying that you wanted to put that fake ass fucking hair in my head. Oh NO bitch, I am all fucking natural and I love it that way. Stop trying to be something that you are not! I hate you and your fake ways.

You were walking by I guess with your so called boyfriend and you know that you looked a hot fucking mess. You had on leopeard shoes and a fucking plaid skirt and a fucking white hat on... do you have any idea of how tacky you looked? I was sitting on the bench just looking at you walk by and I said to myself. The guy that you are with can do alot better than you. You looked fucked up... do better bitch and learn to match your fucking clothes up. To me you looked a little too old not to know how to match...

HELLO CARELESS

RID OF YOU

STUPID EX-FRIEND

FASHION DISASTER

Your sense of entitlement astonishes me. For the past year, I have witnessed your infantile behavior, manipulating my girlfriend to provide you with countless handouts, the criticizing her as if you have a clue about responsiblity. You threw tantrums when asked to contribute $20 to bills while you financed a 4th vehicle. Reasoning with a selfcentered moron has proven to be an act of futility, so we are finally moving out! It will be a serious wake-up call for you, you pathetic lowlife! Buy your own toliet paper for once or suffer a bacterial infection, the choice is yours!

me where I had been all your life and now I find myself asking you the same thing. 90 day probation period is typical within the workforce but in the world of hearts and daggers we had our very own experience. We made love without physically doing so. Putting our tools aside I want to build something with you. Solo I love you my dearest friend. Ha! That’s you calling right now. Listen to my heart.

classifieds

I wonder in the mornings about what your routine is...do you fucking wash...let’s get right to the bullshit. I am so sick and tired of smelling you make me fucking sick. I gag just thinking about who the fuck would want to fuck you! Why would any woman want to fuck you! Then you standing there while you are talking to someone digging up your ass then you smell your fingers like that shit is alright...why would you a person in your position even do what you do...I don’t even want to touch anything after your nasty ass! You keep me amazed and shocked and that is not even in a good way!

the naked city | feature | a&e | the agenda | food

[ i love you, i hate you ]

food | the agenda | a&e | feature | the naked city classifieds

merchandise market BRAZILIAN FLOORING 3/4", beautiful, $2.75 sf (215) 365-5826 CABINETS KITCHEN SOLID WOOD Brand new soft close/dovetail drawers, Full Overlay, Incl. Crown, Never Installed! Cost $5,300. Sell $1,590. 610-952-0033 CHURCH PEWS- Used. All wood pews with kneelers for sale located in Jenkintown PA. Call 717.540.1747

Pinball Machines, shuffle bowling alley, arcade video games 215.953.0561 PORCELAIN DOLLS: priced to sell. Violin: exc cond, best offer 215-438-6486

33&45 RECORDS HIGHER $ Really Paid

**Bob610-532-9408***

33 & 45 Records Absolute Higher $

***215-200-0902***

Books -Trains -Magazines -Toys Dolls - Model Kits 610-639-0563

COINS, CURRENCY, TOYS, TRAINS Dr. Sonnheim, 856-981-3397

I Buy Anything Old...Except People! Military, toys, dolls etc Al 215.698.0787 I Buy Guitars & All Musical Instruments-609-457-5501 Rob JUNK CARS WANTED We buy Junk Cars. Up to $300 215-888-8662

J U L Y 4 - J U L Y 1 0 , 2 0 1 3 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T

38 | P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R |

To learn more or to find the right person for your job, visit your local partner at philly.com/monster

everything pets Please be aware Possession of exotic/wild animals may be restricted in some areas.

3/4 Maine Coon Kittens - 1st vacc & wormed. 8 wks, all colors, $200 each. 484-357-4885 Siamese Kittens m/f applehead, purebred, Health Guar. $400 610-692-6408

CANE CORSO/ VICTORIAN BULL PUPS 1 female, 1 male, 10wks. $300 ea. Please Call: 215-641-1605 German Shepherd Pups AKC Ch Bred: Shots, Wormed, OFA, Hips, Health Gauranteee $650, 484-802-0069 Great Dane puppies AKC fawns parents on site ,Over 20 years raising pure bred. 302-379-3423 $800.,00/1,200.00

LAB pups, %100 GUAR. Ready now must come see!!! 215-768-4344

Nanny/Housekeeper/Companion seeks pos. Exp. Exc refs. Live out. Avail in Sept Call 484-213-3573

apartment marketplace

Apartment Homes $650-$995 www.perutoproperties.com 215.740.4900

16xx W Huntingdon 1BR $550+Utils $1650 move in, no pets 215-559-9289 2416 N. 33rd St. 2BR $675 Newly Renov. Sean 407-551-9534 3329 North 19th St. 2br/1ba $550 1st floor 352-672-3263

1, 2, 3, 4 BEDROOM

FURNISHED APTS Laundry-Parking 215-223-7000

Labs Pups, AKC B+Y ready 6/30, Reasonablly Priced. 856.299.0377 MASTIFF PUPS, $650, 1st shots. Call for info 856-498-3958 Morkie Pups, beautiful small shots, health guar, trained, Call 302.562.0762 Olde English Bulldog Pups - Fam. raised $1,500. Ready 7/24. Call 610-751-5718. Pekingese, 8 Weeks, Pups 6F, 1M BeautifulBlackBabies $395.00(215)579-1922

14xx S 19th. 1BR 1BA $500 + gas & elec LR, Kit, 1 month rent + 1 month security 267-979-0970 between 12 & 7 pm only

1915 Wharton 1br/1ba $750 hdwd flrs., deck. Call 215-883-0542. 2300 S 11th 1br $700-$750+utils. 2nd flr rear & 3rd flr front, w/d, no pets. 1st last & sec. 215-739-6634

1100 S 58th St. 1BR apt. heat/hw incl., lic #362013 215-525-5800 1900 S. 65th St. 2BR Apt Newly renov, Lic #400451, 215.525.5800 20xx 60th St. Lg. 1BR $600 + utils. w/ unfin. bsmnt. and front porch. "The landlord that cares" Brandy 609-598-2299 Mark 610-764-9739 S. 57th St. 3BR $765 2nd floor. Call 267-902-9269

Pit Bull XL Blue, $2000 717.715.6981 bullycountrypitbulls.com

POMERANIAN PUPPIES Healthy. $220. 717-529-6719 ext. 6 ROTTWEILER Pups, 9 weeks old, M & F, $600. AKC. Call 484-523-4421 ROTTWEILER PUPS - German bloodline, health guar. $700/ea. Call 717-768-8157 SHIH TZU pups ACA, 16 Wks, $800 Solid/Tan/white. Call 215.752.1393 SOFT-COATED WHEATEN TERRIER pups, M-F, "No-Shed", Irish Shaggys, $900/each 610-248-3241 STANDARD Poodles, blk, 2mo. old, $300. Call 215-820-9066

1501 Belmont 1br/1ba $650+elec Patio, modern, close to trans & park. Good references. 215-459-9035 51xx Irving St. 1BR $600 Must See! Call for details 610-869-3663 5536 W. Thompson 2BR/2BA $695 Den, hdwd floors. Call 215-409-8383 58th & Lansdowne 1BR $575+utils. XL, freshly painted. Call 610-864-6315 W. Phila. Apts for 62 & older, brand new eff, 1 & 2BR units. Call 215.386.4791

5220 Wayne Ave Studio & 1BR on site lndry, 215-525-5800 Lic# 507568 5321 Wayne Ave. Eff. $550, 1 br $650, 1st mo + sec. 215-776-6277 607 E. Church Ln. 2BR near LaSalle Univ. 215.525.5800 Lic. # 494338

27xx Jefferson St. Kitch. avail., free lndry rm, SSI OK, $100/wk. 267-592-1665 33rd & Ridge Ave. $100-125/week. Large renovated furnished rooms near Fairmount Park & bus depot.215-317-2708

38xx N. 15th - Lg furn room, $105/wk, Plus $300 sec. Call 267-809-7866 53xx N. Broad St. Rm & Apt. Full fridge, 27" TV, AC. 267-496-6448

74xx Woolston Ave 2BR $750 + utils Near trans, Reno, Sec 8 ok 215.341.6874

67XX Broad St 1br $475 + util. medium size. 2 mo sec. 215-224-6566

55/Thompson deluxe quiet furn $130 week priv ent $200 sec 215-572- 8833 Broad & Lehigh Move-in Special 1st mo. Furn, cable ready. 215-510-0928 Broad/Olney furn refrig micro priv ent $115/wk sec $200 215.572.8833 ERIE & 6TH - Deluxe prvt entr, furn. rooms, $250/bi-week. Call 215-225-1077

Center City/Rittenhouse Studio $1,295/mnth, available immediately doorman, desk clerk 24/7, call 713-292-6957

BED: Brand New Queen Pillowtop Set $145; 5pc Bedrm Set $325 215-355-3878

pets/livestock

COOK: needed to live-in, S. Jersey. Experience with fine dining. high salary. Call 732-230-2580

Call Local Higher Buyer, 7 Days/Wk

BD a Memory Foam Mattress/Bx spring Brand New Queen cost $1400, sell $299; King cost $1700 sell $399 610-952-0033

2013 Hot Tub/Spa. Brand New! 6 person w/lounger, color lights, waterfall, Cover, 110V or 220V, Never installed. Cost $7K Ask $2990. Can deliver 610-952-0033

jobs

apartment marketplace

9th/Duncannon 2br/1.5ba $660 Remodeled, 1st flr. Call 267-401-6057 Rockland St. Lg. 1BR $595 Sm. 1BR $495 Effic. $475 . Avail Now. Call 215-329-3013

10xx W Olney Ave 1br $580+utils. 2nd flr, near Einstein and transportation 1 Mo rent and sec dep req. (215)677-3017 1st month rent for free . We have studios, 1BRs, & 2BRs at multiple locations. Rental rates starting at $550/mo. Call today to schedule a tour 215-276-5600 200 blk of Furley St. 1br apt. $575 + 1st, last & Sec. 267-249-9432 5853 N Camac 1BR $660, 2BR $700 + utilities. Renovated, granite kitchen. Call 267-271-6601 or 215-416-2757 58xx N. 15th 1Br $650+ Utils Renovated, W/W, 267.230.2600 5924 N. Broad St. 1BR $630 heat incl. 3rd flr., pay elec. & cooking gas. 2 mo. sec. dep. 1st mo. rent free! 215-840-3586 60XX Warnock 1 BR $625+ nr Fernrock Train Station,215-276-8534 8th & Rockland 1Br $625 2nd floor, References Req, 1 month sec., 1 month rent, No Pets, Call 215-219-9191

1xx Tioga Efficiency $470 incl water/gas. $940 mv in, 609.703.4266

1 BR & 2 BR Apts $735-$835 spacious, great loc., upgraded, heat incl, PHA vouchers accepted 215-966-9371

4645 Penn St. Lg 1BR $595. gas/wtr inc. Priv deck 718-938-4590 4840 Oxford Ave Studio, 1BR, 2BR, 3BR Ldry, 24/7 cam lic#214340 215.525.5800 5037 Hawthorne 1br $565 + utils. $1130 to move in! 267-255-6322

65XX Souder St. 3br/1ba, $895/mo. +utils. new carpet/paint, call for details 215-783-0175 or 215-459-6819 ASHTON/GRANT 2BR/1BA $750 +utils, close to trans. 917-623-5088 Lawndale Junior 1BR $635 + utils. Lawndale Large 1BR $695 + utils. A/C, Terrace, beaut. units.609-408-9298

63XX Gardenia 1br $650 Newly reno’d w/ 1 car gar. 267-335-4080 Elkins Park 2br $900 + utils newly ren’do, 1st flr, w/d, 610-675-7586

1539 W. Wingohocking St. Effic $550 Near Trans, 2+1 M/I, cable 267.304.1387

18 N. Lehigh $300-$350 Drug Free SSI avail. 267-240-0611 18th & Erie (37xx N. Gratz) Large, clean room. Share kitchen & bathroom. Close to transp and shopping. Must have no prior evictions.(484)318-6268

20th & Lehigh - $400-$450/month many Large clean Rooms, 215-834-4445 21st/Erie Ave. $75/wk & up. Seniors welcome. 215-982-0832 25th and York $100/wk Shared kit & bath. Sec dep req’d. 267-997-6271

Frankford, nice rm in apt, near bus & El, $300 sec, $90/wk & up. 215-526-1455 Germantown Area: NICE, Cozy Rooms Private entry, no drugs (267)988-5890 Hunting Park: Furn. Luxury Rooms. Free utils, cable, A/C. Call 267-331-5382 Large clean room $100-$110 weekly, fully furnished 215-917-1091 Mt Airy 61xx Chew Ave, W. Phila 42xx Girard Ave. $85-$125/wk. 215.242.9124 North Broad St. Lg. BR $410/mo. All Utils incl, W/W, 3 lg windows 267.882.3423 North Philadelphia $350-$550 Large room. first floor. 267-414-4819 N. Phila. $75 & up. SSI & Vets + ok, drug free. Avail immed. 215-763-5565 N. Phila Furn Rms SS & vets welcome. No drugs, $100 & up, 267.357.5148 N. Phila Vanpelt St. Spacious, Renov, $85-$125 wk. Call 267-471-8171 N PHILA & W. PHILA 1 occ $375 Clean rooms for rent. Call 267-276-2153 S. Phila Furn Rms, SS & Vets welcome, No drugs, $100/wk & up. 267-595-4414 West Phila & North Phila furn rms avl $85 to $100/week 267-228-1143 W.Phila - 214 N 54th St $500/mo move in $1000, Fridge/Stove 610-454-0292 W Phila clean med rm, priv entr, priv shower. Must be working. 215-494 8794 W. Phila. - Furnished Rooms & Effic. Near transp. $90/wk. Call 215-317-5872 W. Phila Furn Rms, SS & Vets welcome, No drugs, $100/wk & up 267-586-6502 W Phila & G-town: Newly ren, Spacious clean & peaceful, SSI ok, 267.255.8665 WP/Logan/NP pvt entry, also effic avail $110 - $135/wk. Call 609-526-5411

29th & Federal Area 3br $595+ Porch & yard, Please Call 215-701-7076

61xx Locust St. 3BR/1BA A/C, sec. 8 ok. Call 215-432-3040

6316 Greenway 3BR/1.5BA $800 Finished basement. 267-266-4943 65xx Gefner 4Br/1 Ba $850/mo + utils fresh paint, Sec 8 ok, 267-230-2600

7XX N Dekalb. 3 br, 1 ba, $775 + util. Renovated. Credit Ck. 215-464-9371

Oaklyn, NJ 2BR 1BA row 5 mins Ferry Ave Speed ln. Sec 8 ok. $950+. 609-417-4650

automotive Audi A4 Cabriolet 2006 $11,900 Convertible, 92K MI, Exec Cond, Navy w/Tan Int, 1.8 T, 215.570.1766

CADILLAC Seville 1978 $6,000 48K mi. excl cond. 302-998-6009 Corvette Coupe 1985 $9850 Removable Glass Top, 49,000 ORIGINAL MILES, Matching #, fortune invested. Senor Citizen Must Sacrifice today 215-922-6113

DODGE CHALLENGER SRT 2009 $27,000 5k miles, hemi, loaded. 215-233-5145

Ford Mustang Cobra Convertible 2004 58k mi Red, garage kept great condition. man. trans. $19,000 215-565-6890

6606 Haddington Lane 3br/1ba $995 www.perutoproperties.com 215.740.4900 Jeep Grand Cherokee 2005 $8,650 4x4, 70K, 1 owner. 215.237.0109

17xx N. Bambrey St 3br/1ba $750mo w/d hook up, yard 215-519-5437 25xx Taylor St. 2BR $650+ utils Newly renov, new kitch. 267-471-8171 4857 N. Bouvier St. 3BR/1BA $850 LR, DR, kitch., garage. Open House on Sunday from 10am-3pm. 410-655-3312

37xx N Sydneyham St. 4BR, $800/mo + utils 1st/last/sec. 215-879-9101

GERMANTOWN 3BR/1BA $850 Nice location, nice house. 215-779-0352

Lexus SC430 2002 $17,500 Red, excel. cond., 54K mi. 215.817.6164

Mercedes Benz SL500 2006 $35,000 Silver, warranty, garage kept, loaded, glass top, 43K mi. Call 215-801-0225

Nissan Maxima 2004 $7,950 77K, loaded, like new. 215-237-0109

DUTCHMAN 2001 20 ft. $7,500 Sleeps 4, very clean. 717-768-0745

low cost cars & trucks Cadillac Deville DHS 2002 $2,675 Gold, nite vision & chrome 267.592.0448 CADILLAC Sedan DeVille 1996 $1750 mint, 116K, runs new 215-620-9383 CHEVY CAVALIER 2003 $1750 2 door, loaded, Clean. 215-518-8808 Chevy Impala LS 2002 $2800 OBO Runs great, Cold A/C, Lthr, 267.441.4612 Chevy Mailbu 2002 $1,400/OBO 115K, 6 cyl., lifter noise. 267-975-4483 Chrysler Sebring LXI 1999 $1,950/OBO coupe, 108K, 6 cylinder, sunroof, very clean, like new tires. 267-975-4483 Chrysler Town & Cntry LXR 2002 $2,695 3.8, blue, auto sliding drs, 267-592-0448 Dodge Durango SLT 2000 $1,900/OBO May trade, V8 magnum 4x4, 173K, new insp. Call 267-975-4483 Ford Explorer XLT 2000 $1350 All Pwrs, Clean, Runs Exc, 215.620.9383 Ford F-250 1997 $2800/Obo 4x4, Needs little work, 610.585.0510 HYUNDAI ELANTRA GT 2006 $4,850 4Dr, Auto, Lthr Int, Very Clean, 1 Owner, 610-506-5759 Jeep Cherokee 1996 $1,850 auto, cold A/C, runs new. 215-620-9383 Jeep Cherokee Laredo 2000 $4,800 6 cyl., 4x4, sunroof, very clean, new inspec., 1 owner. Call 610-506-5759 Nissan Altima 2008 $4900 57k MI, Black in/out, Auto, 4WD, 3.5 engine, Clean title, inspected, 215.792.3465 Olds Cutlass Ciera 1993 $950 All Pwrs, 106k, Runs Exc, 215.620.9383 Toyota CamryLE 1995 $1650 Auto,4cyl,37mpg, runs new 215.620.9383 Volkswagen Jetta GLS 2001 $1,200/OBO 2.0, 135K, 4 door, needs engine and transmission work. Call 267-975-4483 Volvo V70 GLT SW 1998 $1350 All Pwrs, Clean, Runs New, 215.620.9383

67XX North Broad St. 5BR/2BA $1400 util Sec. 8 OK 215-224-6566

3300 Frankford 2BR/2BA $700 Front porch, no pets. 215-289-2973 PHILA 4BR/ 2BA Sec 8 Ok, New Reno, 215.322.6086

13XX Mckinley St 3Br/1Ba $895 + utils, new paint/carpet. Call for details, 215-783-0175 or 215-459-6819 21xx Margaret St. 2br/1ba Near Trans, Sec 8 ok. 215-740-4629 4322 Bennington 2BR/1.5BA $900 Garage, driveway, family room, W/D, Call for appointment 267-978-4446 43xx Benner 3br/1ba $875+. Yard. Avail Now! Call 215-704-4427 9XX Scattergood St 2Br/1Ba $795 + utils. Move in Special. Call for details, 215-783-0175 or 215-459-6819 OXFORD CIRCLE 887 Marcella St. 3br 1ba $850 plus 267-632-4580

ADOPTION

ADOPT: A happily married couple promises cozy home, secure future, extended family, unconditional love for baby of any race. Expenses paid. Leslie/ Daniel TOLL-FREE 1-855-7672444. danielandleslieadopt@ gmail.com

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Become an Aviation Maintenance Tech. FAA approved training. Financial aid if qualified-Housing available. Job placement assistance. CALL Aviation Institute of Maintenance 888-834-9715. SAWMILLS

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Automotive Marketplace CASH FOR CARS

ANY CAR/Truck. Running or Not! Top Dollar Paid.We Come to You! Call for Instant Offer. 1888-420-3808 www.cash4car. com

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Heavy Equipment Operator Career! 3 Weeks Hands On Training School. Bulldozers, Backhoes, Excavators. National Certifications. Lifetime Job Placement Assistance. VA Benefits Eligible! 1-866362-6497. HELP WANTED DRIVER

CRST offers the Best Lease Purchase Program! SIGN ON BONUS. No Down Payment or Credit Check. Great Pay. Class-A CDL required. Owner Operators Welcome! Call: 866403-7044.

jobs

Drivers-CDL-A OTR Drivers Needed. No Gimmicks! Solos up to $.38/mile. $.50/mile for Hazmat Teams. 800-9422104 Ext. 7308 or 7307 www. TotalMS.com HELP WANTED DRIVER

Drivers: HIRING EXPERIENCED/INEXPERIENCED TANKER DRIVERS! Earn up to $.51 per Mile! New Fleet Volvo Tractors! 1Year OTR Exp. Req.-Tanker Training Available. Call Today: 877-882-6537 www. OakleyTransport.com HELP WANTED DRIVER

EARNING BETTER PAY IS ONE STEP AWAY! Averitt offers Experienced CDL-A Drivers Excellent Benefits and Weekly Hometime. 888-3628608. Recent Grads w/a CDLA 1-5/wks Paid Training. Apply online at AverittCareers.com Equal Opportunity Employer

800-341-3413

HELP WANTED

2013-2014 VACANCY: Elementary School Prinicipal (K-4)-Prince Edward Schools, Farmville, VA- (434) 315-2100. www.pecps.k12.va.us Closing Date: Until Filled. EOE HELP WANTED

29 SERIOUS PEOPLE to Work From Anywhere Using a Computer. Up to $1500-$5000 PT/FT www.amazinglifestylefromhome.com

BRIDESBURG

1 bedroom apt 1st floor with use of basement. $600 Please call 215-834-7832 FISHTOWN

1600 Frankford Ave 1 and 2 bedroom apar tm e n t s, n ew l y r e h a b b e d building, h/w floors, central air, all stainless steel appliances including dishwasher, washer and dryer in each unit. $800 - $1500 Available July 1st $35 non refundable credit check 215-834-7832 SOUTH PHILADELPHIA TOWNHOUSE FOR RENT

South Philadelphia. All new. Three bedrooms, beautiful hardwood floors, granite kitchen and bath. $850/ month. 215-292-2176

Vacation/ Seasonal Rental VACATION RENTALS

NORTH WILDWOOD NJ-FLORENTINE FAMILY MOTEL Beach/Boardwalk Block, Heated Pools, Efficiency/Motel units refrigerator, elevator. Color Brochure/Specials www. florentinemotel.com 609522-4075 DEPT. 104

RESORT REAL ESTATE

Owner Must Sell! Nicely wooded lot in prime recreational area. Crystal clear mountain lake, ski area & brandy new golf course. All within 1 mile finance. Call 1-877-888-7581. x41.

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NY SPORTSMANâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S BEST LAND DEALS: 5 Acres w/ Hemlock Lodge: $29,999. 51 Acres, Excellent Hunting: $59,995. 74.73 Acres, Minutes from Salmon River: $99,900. Preseason Sale, Many More Properties 5 to 200 Acres Starting at $12,995. Easy Financing. Call 800-229-7843 or visit www.landandcamps. com LAND FOR SALE

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Resort/ Vacation Property for Sale

Homes MANAYUNK

2 BR/Office area, full BA, newly renovated, HW floors, enclosed porch & yard, W/D, central air, basement, walking distance to Main St/Public transportation,. $1,250/ mo+util. 267-446-7600.

VACATION RENTALS

OCEAN CITY, MARYLAND. Best selection of affordable rentals. Full/partial weeks. Call for FREE brochure. Open daily. Holiday Real Estate. 1-800638-2102 Online reservations: www.holidayoc.com.

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Spacious 2bedroom, 1bath apartment at 63rd/ Woodland. Recently remodeled, plenty of natural light, ceramic floor tile 724-5413582

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rentals

Apartments for Rent 3 BDRM APT IN MANAYUNK

Large 3bdrm Apt. with EIK for

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1xx Youngs Ave. 3br/1ba. $985+ utils. Riddley schools, basement, sun porch, large yard, no pets. 215-379-8839 Upper Darby 2br New reno, hwd flr Sec 8 ok, 610.864.6033

Adoptions

rent in the Wissahickon Sect. of Manayunk. Right next to the park with Rear Yard. Safe neighborhood with easy on street parking. 3 blks. from the Train/Buses and 76 Some pets ok. $1,300.00 per month plus utilities. Call to see 215-4322158

P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R | J U L Y 4 - J U L Y 1 0 , 2 0 1 3 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T |

35xx Braddock St, 19134 PHA SEC 8 OK. 2 br, 1 ba, 1 blk from public transp, front porch, yard, wash/dryer refrig. $700/mo,+util. 215-946-6000 E & Tioga 3BR/1BA $675 + utils. Porch, basement, newly renov., sec. dep. and 1st mo. rent. Call 215-757-2311

market place

Âł A1 PRICES FOR JUNK CARS FREE TOW ING , Call (215) 726-9053

Engineer: HBK Engineering in Norristown, PA seeks Project Engineer to perform designs for utility infrastructure using subsurface utility engineering (SUE) guidelines. Requires Masterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s degree in Construction Engineering, Civil Engineering or related. Applicants must have education or employment experience with the following: AutoCAD or MicroStation, & Microsoft Office Suite; design of subsurface utility engineering systems; below grade infrastructure; overhead & underground electrical utility distribution infrastructure design; urban underground utility infrastructure; horizontal directional drilling designs; investigation of existing site drawings, plans & maps. Send resume to H. Shearer, HBK Engineering, 921 W. Van Buren Street, Suite 100, Chicago, IL 60607 (no calls).

classifieds

51xx Ranstead st 3Br/1Ba $800/mo 2, 3br Voucher, Sec 8 Ok, renovated, W/D, Near Trans, Call 215-206-4582 55xx Harmer St 3Br/1Ba $750 63 Hirst St 2Br/1Ba $750 Fresh Paint, Sec 8 ok, 267.2302600 SUMMER ST Spac 3br/1ba $800/mo inc water Sec8ok! Sheila 267-784-6480

Upper Darby 4BR sect. 8 ok, close to transp. 610.459.3990

HELP WANTED

the naked city | feature | a&e | the agenda | food

homes for rent

billboard [ C I T Y PA P E R ]

J U LY 4 - J U LY 1 0 , 2 0 1 3 CALL 215-735-8444

Building Blocks to Total Fitness 12 Years of experience. Offering personal fitness training, nutrition counseling, and flexibility training. Specialize in osteoporosis, injuries, special needs. In home or at 12th Street Gym. MCKFitness@yahoo.com

I BUY RECORDS, CDâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S, DVDâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S

TOP PRICES PAID. No collection too small or large! We buy everything! Call Jon at 215-805-8001 or e-mail dingo15@hotmail.com

STUDY GUITAR W/ THE BEST David Joel Guitar Studio

FREE DRINKING SMARTPHONE APP!!!

City Paper is very pleased to bring you our very first smartphone app! Just go to www.citypaper.net and click our martini glass icon to find out more, or type in â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Happy Hours in the app store, android marketplace, or blackberry app world. Click the orange martini icon and get drinking. No matter where you go or when you go, you can find the nearest happy hours to you with a single click! You can even sort through bars by preference or neighborhood.

Healthcare, Business Technology and Graphic Arts Independence University 800-961-2983

NEW! JUST IN! @ the Bizarre Bazaar

WHATâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S ON TAP AT THE WATKINS DRINKERY?

Submit snapshots of the City of Brotherly Love, however you see it, at: photostream@citypaper.net

Pinstriped + Cool Handbags! Hostile City + Shop T-shirts! Custom Velvet Paintings! 2 Head Pigeon + Taxidermy! Cool Access. +Gifts Galore! New Stuff EVERY Day! You Never Know What Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll Find @ the BIZARRE BAZAAR Open 7 days, 12- 8pm 720 South 5th St @ Passyunk

Flying Fish Red Fish IPA Dock Street Limited Saison Leine Lemon Berry Shandy Brooklyn Brown Ale River Horse Tripel Horse Breckenridge Summer Bright All that and more at the Watkins Drinkery in South Philadelphia. Corner of 10th & Watkins 215-339-0175

The Garcia Vocal Studio Tony-Award Honoree and Internationally-Acclaimed operatic tenor, Jesus Garcia, is now accepting students.

INDEPENDENCE UNIVERSITY

Online Degrees Call: 800-961-2503

MAKE THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE AND GET A TATTOO

PHILADELPHIA EDDIES 621 SOUTH 4TH St. (in the MIDDLE of Tattoo Row) 215-922-7384 open 7 DAYS

HAPPY HOUR AT THE DIVE FREE PIZZA! $2 BEER OF THE WEEK! $2 WELL DRINKS! ITâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S AMAZING! PASSYUNK AVE (7th & CARPENTER) 215-465-5505 myspace.com/thedivebar

STEP 1 - DROP OFF YOUR ITEM at 100 N 18th Street STEP 2 - OUR AUCTION EXPERTS TAKE OVER During the bidding process your item is stored in a secure, insured environmen STEP 3 - 24/7 CONSIGNMENT SENDS YOU A CHECK There are no upfront fees! To schedule an appointment or pick up call 877-425-8652 Or visit www.247consignment.com

ONLINE DEGREES

All Styles All Levels. Former Berklee faculty member. Masters Degree with 27 yrs. teaching experience. 215.831.8640 www.myphillyguitarlessons.com

Show Us Your Philly.

GET RID OF YOUR CLUTTER AND MAKE $ WITH 24/7 CONSIGNMENT

PASSIONAL Boutique Has MOVED!

Visit us at our NEW LOCATION! 317 South Street Info? www.passional.net

SEXPLORATORIUM Has MOVED!

Visit us at our NEW LOCATION! 317 South Street Info? www.sexploratorium.net

Classical, Musical Theater, Rock and Pop Genres. Solid vocal technique is the key to optimal sound, stamina, and career longevity. Specializing in the Italian Bel Canto Technique. Learn with one of the most sought after voice technicians on the East Coast. For rates and information please e-mail garciavocalstudio@gmail.com

SEMEN DONORS NEEDED

Healthy, College Educated Men 18-39 ~ $150/Sample WWW.123DONATE.COM

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