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contents Doin’ it in the park.
The Naked City .........................................................................6 A&E................................................................................................18 Movies.........................................................................................22 Agenda........................................................................................24 Food ..............................................................................................31 COVER ILLUSTRATION BY EVAN M. LOPEZ DESIGN BY RESECA PESKIN
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city
CP’s Quality-o-Life-o-Meter
[ -3 ]
Phillies manager Charlie Manuel is fired. “Grumble mumble grumble grumble,” says Manuel, moving the press room to confused tears.
[ -1 ]
Manuel was fired the day he was to be honored for his 1000th win. “I just wish we’d have won more games in the early part of this season,” says Ruben Amaro. “I coulda fired Cholly back in June.”
[ +1 ]
Apple hires a Philly architect to help design its new corporate campus in California. “I’m, like, really good at drawing cubes,” he says. “After that, it’s just a matter of rounding all the pointy parts and figuring out where to put the proprietary outlets.”
[0]
Philly.com says it hopes its new commenting system will lead to more civilized discussions on the site. “god luck with that not liekly to hapen in OBAMAS america,” says esteemed commenter WTC7fukushima.
[0]
Phillies minor-league affiliate the Lehigh Valley IronPigs gives away a free funeral to one lucky fan. “I’m just really hoping a little kid doesn’t win,” says the nervous marketing intern who came up with the promotion. “Or a really depressed-looking person. Or, damn, I mean, what if, like, Zooey Deschanel wins for some reason, and we all just have to sit there in a dumb old baseball stadium and think about cute little Zooey Deschanel being dead one day.”
[ -1 ]
[ +1 ]
At press time, a 7-foot pet boa constrictor named Snakie is still on the loose in Delaware County. “FYI, that dude who says he’s me on Twitter is a fake,” says Snakie. “I only post on Philly.com. PS: We need to take this country back. You know what I mean.” A Roxborough couple says a series of antennae near their house causes them to hear the radio played through their pipes, fences and other objects on their property. “We’re not really complaining,” say the couple, in unison. “In fact, we’re quite grateful because otherwise we would not have known how to summon the dark lord. Yes, our bathroom sink has told us all about the dark lord. Oh yes, this will really be something.”
This week’s total: -3 | Last week’s total: -12
UNITED FRONT: Philadelphia Federation of Teachers members hold a training session for canvassers to mobilize support for rallies at neighborhood schools around the city. NEAL SANTOS
[ education ]
SCHOOLYARD BRAWL Amid a school-funding crisis, the teachers’ union is under fire. By Daniel Denvir
A
School Reform Commission (SRC) meeting descended into familiar chaos on Aug. 15 as the state-controlled board suspended portions of the Public School Code, allowing the Philadelphia School District to ignore teacher seniority in hiring back some of the 3,859 teachers, counselors, aides and other staff laid off in June. “Our current staffing structure, as mandated in the School Code, does not allow us to prioritize matching the abilities of staff to the needs of schools and students,” Superintendent William Hite Jr. explained, according to his prepared testimony. The actual words he uttered, however, were nearly incomprehensible as a packed auditorium of teachers and supporters heckled him. The school district’s case for the code suspension — which also halts graduated, seniority-based pay raises and gives the district more control over charter-school growth — is straightforward: In emergency circumstances, they need flexibility to prioritize retaining the most critical teachers and staff. But it comes as the SRC and state leaders carry out a broader attack on the Philadelphia Federation of Teachers (PFT), which is now negotiating a new contract. Hite is seeking, among other changes, to end seniority in teacher assignments and replace length-of-service-based pay with “performance” measures, typically based on standardized tests. PFT president Jerry Jordan called it an attempt to “decimate” the
union. “This is not about money; this is about power,” Jordan said on the steps of School District headquarters. “This is about scapegoating teachers who work hard every day.” Teachers worry that the code suspension is a means of imposing permanent contract terms that the SRC would not be able to achieve at the bargaining table. The current contract expires Aug. 31, and the SRC has signaled it will attempt to impose its own terms in the case of an impasse. Last year, SRC Chairman Pedro Ramos infuriated city legislators when it was discovered that he had been secretly lobbying Harrisburg Republicans for the explicit power to impose terms on the union — a power the SRC has maintained that it already has under the state takeover law. The district is also asking teachers for salary givebacks, seeking $133 million in labor concessions to close what was initially a $304 million budget gap. That is $13 million more than was requested of the state, and more than double what was asked of the city. What the PFT says could amount to a 13 percent pay cut would put the district at a further competitive disadvantage in attracting talent.
“This is not about money. It is about power.”
³ GOV. TOM CORBETT issued a statement last Thursday backing the SRC and calling on the PFT to accept a contract “that puts in place needed fiscal savings and academic reforms.” Corbett’s deep cuts to public education and elimination of a funding formula that directs money to schools with poor students precipitated this crisis. >>> continued on page 8
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✚ ELGIN MARVELS The Elgin Diner in Camden closed for good about a year ago. But on Saturday, a small crew showed up with ladders in hand, making neighbors momentarily hopeful it was reopening. It is not. The crew in question, led by the acclaimed photographer Camilo Vergara, was there to poster-bomb the place. They worked quickly to plaster the windows of the shuttered diner with Vergara’s images of murals honoring Martin Luther King Jr. from poor urban neighborhoods in Philadelphia, Los Angeles and Detroit. The 50th anniversary of the March on Washington, Aug. 28, will be marked by countless events, speeches and editorial-board assessments of the country’s progress toward fulfilling the dream King famously shared with hundreds of thousands on the National Mall. For the occasion, the State Department is touring Vergara’s work around the world. Vergara, in a wry protest against his own high-end exhibition, is installing his photos in places King cared most passionately for: neighborhoods populated by the poor and oppressed. “Most of the places that I’ve photographed are deindustrialized cities,” he says. “Jobs are scarce, people are poor.” Back in Camden, the 1958 diner was empty save for a coffee carafe sitting on the counter. The poster-bombing was of questionable legality, but the building’s owner is said to have not minded much. The building reportedly will be demolished to make way for a discount store. Vergara hopes his work will prompt people to ask why their city has been abandoned this way. “If millions of people ask that question, then it may make a difference.” Afterward, Vergara and his crew repaired to the Collingswood Diner, one of many in nearby towns that was open. This is, after all, —Daniel Denvir New Jersey.
citybeat
CAMILO VERGARA
[ a million stories ]
… gets in the game
OUI BOWLING ³ WALKING BY CLARK Park one Sunday, French
✚ SMOOTH CRIMINALS “It’s better than being home, cutting the grass,” Freddie Bull says. “I come down here, sit and relax for another five hours.” He and a friend are sitting in a row of otherwise empty folding chairs in front of the empty RiverStage at Penn’s Landing on Friday afternoon. The other chairs, some duct-taped together, some chained, are spoken for, and will be filled with jazzheads in a few hours. Not much has changed over 16 years of the “Smooth Jazz Summer Nights” August concert series — apart from the preparation of its patrons. Fans arrive as early as 5 a.m. to secure a good view of Peter White or Najee. Some, like Jill Lofton-Malachi, setting up chairs in the back row, have been attending for a decade. Delaware River Waterfront Corp., which runs the shows, tries to discourage the practice. “But sometimes they’re able to get there before security does, and they set [the chairs] up,” says DRWC’s Emma Fried-Cassorla. “It does indicate how die-hard the —Matt Schickling fans are.”
TRACK TEAM: Wiping out in trolley tracks is an unfortunate rite of passage for Philly cyclists. But on 11th Street, between Vine and Callowhill, that’s no longer a problem. Reader Rob Emanuele sent us this photo of guerilla track-work, noting, “To me, it makes a strong statement about bike safety and community DIY.” The track in question is the old Route 23 trolley line, which — believe it or not — is not deemed abandoned, but merely “suspended.” It last ran in 1992, but it remains on SEPTA’s lengthy list of unfunded, long-term capital projects. ROB EMANUELE
—Lalita Clozel
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expat Morgane Houssais came across an incongruous sight: “Some American people are playing a French game — that’s really funny.” The game in question, wedged in between the drum circle and the chess players, was pétanque. Today, crowds of up to 30 players gather each week to play the ball game, imported from Southern France to West Philadelphia by a group of Francophiles and expatriates. Created in December, the Philadelphia pétanque club — the city’s first — now has more than 100 members on meetup.com. On a recent Sunday, a Catholic nun, a fourth-grader and a Penn Romance-languages professor were among the diverse crowd. The bocce-like game pits two teams of two or three players each in a competition to throw fist-size metal balls as close as possible to a target ball called the “cochonnet.” In France, pétanque is traditionally associated with working-class men who, sporting a paunch and an affinity for an anise-flavored liquor called pastis, while away their Sundays playing the game under the Marseilles sun. The sport “moves just fast enough … to allow for a conversation,” says organizer Bill Craig, a West Philadelphia architect who was struck by the game’s beauty while travelling in Brittany, a region in Western France, a few years back. His voice drops, and he adds: “Historically, it’s been for the older men … while women are doing the housework.” Not so here. “It’s an American adaptation: Three of the women are our best players.” The game’s West Philadelphia adaptation certainly has a different feel. Houssais, a Penn post-doctoral researcher who is now the club’s event organizer, was surprised to find how seriously they were taking a game she associated with the summer vacations of her childhood. One Sunday, “We played under the rain,” while holding umbrellas, she says. “That was not French at all.” The group boasts several professional-level players, including Essadik El-Haddad, who drives from Harrisburg every few weeks with his wife, Lisa, just to play pétanque. He played for the national Moroccan team before moving to the United States in 1999. “I missed [this game] for 13 years,” he says. El-Haddad was among six players who represented Philadelphia in this year’s Bastille Day pétanque tournament in Brooklyn. Now, they’re organizing their own tournament, for Oct. 5 at Clark Park. Everyone’s invited — as long as they take their fun seriously. “It’ll be competitive, and all our best players will be in it,” Craig warns.
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[ sports a paunch and an affinity for liquor ]
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✚ Schoolyard Brawl
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Now the governor, with support from conservative House Republican leadership, is holding up $45 million in federal funds for city schools that he says is contingent on union concessions. Corbett has been receiving support from a set of increasingly powerful, politically entrenched self-described school reform organizations. Now, it appears that Hite’s move to suspend the school code could have been one more product of behindthe-scenes planning powered by organizations that have the support of wealthy school-choice advocates. StudentsFirst Pennsylvania, the state chapter of the national pro-school-choice group founded by former District of Columbia Schools Chancellor Michelle Rhee, issued a statement just before Hite’s announcement in support of “Corbett’s unwavering determination to deliver meaningful reforms prior to the release of funds.” StudentsFirst also defended withholding funds to Philly schools, contending that “continuing to invest in a broken education system only hurts the very people it serves: our kids.” In June, City Paper obtained a secret report written by prominent Republican pollsters advising Corbett to bolster his flagging re-election prospects by launching an attack on the teachers’ union and conditioning state aid to city schools on concessions. “With Gov. Corbett’s weak job approval, reelect and ballot-support numbers, the current Philadelphia school crisis presents an opportunity for the governor to wedge the electorate on an issue that is favorable to him,” the report concludes. “Staging this battle presents Corbett with an opportunity to coalesce his base, focus on a key emerging issue in the state, and campaign against an ‘enemy’ that’s going to aggressively oppose him in ’14 in any case.” The report identified seniority as one of the union’s most unpopular positions. The poll was commissioned by PennCAN, the state chapter of national reform organization 50CAN. The group was launched from the offices of the Philadelphia School Partnership, a charter supporter that has become one of the most influential education-advocacy voices in the city thanks to a $15 million grant from the William Penn Foundation. PSP’s board includes numerous civic leaders and wealthy conservative power brokers. ³ IN THE ATRIUM at School District headquarters,
downstairs from the SRC meeting, PFT community-engagement liaison Evette Jones was galvanizing a crowd of angry teachers. “Ladies and gentlemen, this is war. Let’s turn this city upside down!” Marta Brann, a 24-year computer science teacher at Anne Frank Elementary School, says, “Dr. Hite has been trying” to bust the union “since he came to Philadelphia.” She questions how teachers can be held responsible for a fiscal crisis in a school district that’s been under state control since 2001. Earlier this month, Hite announced schools wouldn’t open on time if the city didn’t provide an additional $50 million. Last week, the city pledged to provide the funds, and the district announced schools would open Sept. 9. How to accomplish that is currently the subject of debate between Mayor Nutter and City Council President Darrell Clarke.
Schools are still well short of the $304 million in funding required to fill the budget gap and reverse the layoffs, and education advocates are demanding $180 million in total additional funding. Many shouted, “Fire the SRC!” echoing a growing call to end the troubled state takeover. But it is unclear whether the union, which has announced it will file grievances to protest rehiring outside of the seniority system, will have the strength to resist. There is little recent history of grassroots mobilization, and the state-takeover law bars teacher strikes. But parents, students and community activists are considering a student boycott if needed funding is not delivered. Helen Gym, co-founder of Parents United for Public Education, called Hite’s threat of delayed school opening “political theater to justify” an attack on unions.
“Hite has been trying to bust the union.” Nor do education activists see an ally in Nutter, who has spoken out in favor of the school-reform agenda. They argue that the mayor has failed to forcefully criticize Corbett, and that his two representatives on the SRC have voted as a block with the governor’s. SRC member Sylvia Simms, founder of the organization Parent Power, said students had different interests than teachers. “Too many people worry more about adults than the children they [are] supposed to serve.” Members of the Philadelphia Student Union and Youth United for Change, who pushed past security and marched into the meeting, disagree. Christa Rivers, a senior at Girls High who addressed the SRC on behalf of student activists, says that she thinks teachers and students “share a common goal. It’s not the union’s fault. … I hold the governor most responsible for this. He’s just not a good dude.” (daniel.denvir@citypaper.net)
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NEAL SANTOS
FAIRMOUNT PARK How Philly’s backyard became an untamed wilderness. By Ryan Briggs DARKNESS HAS already fallen over the park. We’re waiting with a series of silhouetted figures on an unnamed cobblestone street that sprouts from a parking lot off Kelly Drive and runs into the Glendinning Rock Garden. Trolleys and Amtrak trains periodically roar by. Everyone seems nervous, unsure of what they’re waiting for. “Is it happening tonight? Did it get shut down again?” I ask. No one seems to know. It feels awkward
standing around in the half-light with a bunch of strangers like a drug deal about to go bad — which, in a way, it kind of is. “I don’t know, it happened this time last week,” said an older guy wearing a military surplus vest with no shirt underneath. “Hey, I got blueberry haze. I got molly, too. You guys like molly?” I had first encountered The Drum Circle, as it’s efficiently known, as a Temple student in the mid-2000s. Kids that had gone to St. Joe’s Prep told tales of a bonfire in the woods they had heard about from high school upperclassmen, who had heard about it from earlier upperclassmen. Beyond being a great place to drink a forty beyond the reach of campus security, the unsanctioned gathering was known to attract a rotating assortment of hippies, crust punks, homeless people and generally interesting folks willing to share their stories and their drugs. In short, it was a bored college student’s dream.
>>> continued on page 12
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THE SECRET LIFE OF
FIRESIDE LORE would have you believe that The Drum Circle started in 1985, and that different groups of people have kept the tradition going, in between police raids, ever since. It’s a legacy owed to Philadelphia’s massive and neglected park system, swaths of which have long since been given back to nature thanks to decades of budget cuts and vacillating political interest in what is occasionally purported to be “the world’s largest landscaped park.” That claim has perhaps never been more dubious than today. Even a cursory comparison of modern satellite images with historic planning maps reveals at least a quarter of the landscaped areas of Fairmount Park, the 4,200-acre heart of the park system, have been overtaken by brush. It wasn’t supposed to be this way. Topographical maps from 1910 depict a Victorian pleasure garden with copses of trees thoughtfully placed among rolling hills; it’s salted with refreshment stands, mansions and leftover buildings from the Centennial Exhibition and connected by trolley lines that spanned streams on mighty stone archways. Historic photos show neatly planted hillsides, which, at least up to the 1960s, were kept mostly clear of overgrowth. But that would all change rapidly, as politicians raided the park’s funds to patch declining city revenues (“Trees don’t vote,” paraphrased one parks commissioner in the 1980s). The 500-man Park Guard corps was dissolved by Mayor Frank Rizzo (who also slashed the parks budget by 50
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But that was six years ago. Now, as more shadowy figures appear, milling around the cobblestone lane, I have my doubts. Suddenly, two men and a woman, also in military surplus clothing, emerge from a van with a pit bull and a couple of gnarled pieces of wood. They move decisively, and the crowd files in behind them, through a stone archway carved into the hill, then up a flight of stairs. We cross onto a dirt track and into another one of Fairmount Park’s endless, forgotten forests. It’s time to start the fire.
feature
RAVE REVIEW: Vanessa Maria attends a latenight DJ session by the Schuykill River. The Parks and Recreation Department’s informal policy on such unsanctioned events has been to let them go on unchecked.
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NEAL SANTOS
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percent) despite intense public outcry in the 1970s. As a result, crime spiked in the park, and historic buildings were abandoned, some falling victim to arson. The trolleys were discontinued, their old lines choked by vegetation as budgets for mowing and brush clearance were gutted. The parks budget shrank, over 60 years, from 3.5 percent of the city’s to less than half a percent today — and it shows. It’s estimated that, in certain areas of the park, 35 percent of all plant life is invasive. Just 22 full-time rangers patrol the full 9,200 acres of the Philadelphia park system, the size of the cities of Chester and Camden combined. But while the city has been content to simply forget about sweeping tracts of the park, Philly residents have not. The park today is a ruin of its former self, but within this still-beautiful, half-lawless wilderness is an opaque world of activity — the realm of weekly bonfires, midnight DJ sessions, squatters, food foragers and niche sports teams, all searching for a home in Fairmount’s great, neglected expanse. While the park today may lack the formal elegance of its sculptured past, Philadelphians — sometimes skirting legal boundaries, occasionally winning official sanction — have created something infinitely more interesting as they reclaim pieces of Fairmount for themselves.
BACK AT THE Drum Circle, I’m scavenging in the darkened brush for kindling. According to a 1938 Works Project Administration map, this was once a manicured garden. Now, I’m pretty sure I’m stumbling around in a tangle of poison ivy. The dirt track extends deep into the woods, complete with jumps made of cement piping, presumably hauled in by BMX riders. Eventually, someone gets the fire gets going. People settle in: drinking, bumming cigarettes, chatting with strangers. “Welcome, people; peace and love,” says a shirtless man called Q, carrying a djembe. He says he’s been coming to the drum circle since 2001, but complains that there are conspicuously few drummers tonight. A group of sharply dressed men sharing a warm bottle of white wine turn out to be aircraft mechanics from Delaware. They say they started showing up a few weeks ago because they got bored of going to Dirty Frank’s. Q tries to get a beat going, with limited success. One woman, slouched against a log and already drunk, slurs, “Come on, get energy! I’ll dance if there’s energy.” Lucas, from West Philadelphia, tells me about growing up on an Air Force base in Germany. He says he comes to the Circle, in part, because he misses Germany’s more permissive public-drinking laws. He recalls nights spent meeting people over beers in public squares. “Over there, there’s no sprawl; the cities just end, and then it’s farmland. They build these big bonfires just outside town some nights, and everyone will drink and hang out. No one cares,” he says. The drunken woman from earlier is now being led back to the parking lot, her arms slung around the shoulders of two companions. “Sorry; it’s not you, it’s me!” she yells back to us. Three latecomers from Overbrook arrive carrying chairs and a folding table. One puts up a little handmade sign that reads “Ganja Punch, 2 for $5.” “It’s a blend of mugwort, black tea, orange juice, cranberry, passion fruit and a little bit of green in there, too,” says a man with dreadlocks, smiling. It tastes like raspberry iced tea. If it does contain marijuana, it’s not apparent. But it is refreshing. Another of the three packs a glass pipe with marijuana and DMT — “working man’s acid” they tell me, because the powerful hallucinogen only lasts for 15 minutes or so, “just
long enough for a shift break.” They offer to sell me some. There’s still no drumming, and drug sales are much more open than I remember. One attendee says that most of the people that used to participate in the drumming have moved on to a new location in South Philadelphia, complaining about the rowdier crowd and occasional muggings that took place as people filtered away from the pit. NOW IT’S A WEDNESDAY afternoon, and I’m tracing the remnants of a trolley route in West Fairmount Park with Sidney Goldstein, who organizes informal hikes through this particularly overgrown section of the park, which he refers to as “The Maze.” “The first time I organized a hike, all the group wanted to kill me, because we got stuck in the trails for a couple of hours,” says Goldstein, who is in his 60s. “But I was having a great time. I love finding new trails.” He routinely takes groups of up to 50 people out here to marvel at the hidden wonders, occasionally encountering encampments of homeless people and, in one instance, a pack of wild dogs he had to keep at bay with a stick. “We had to swing at them,” he says. “We cut that tour short.” A Wynnefield native, Goldstein has been treading these woods since childhood. He recalls coming to nearby Belmont Plateau as a child to fill up jugs of water at a spring with his parents. Back in the 1950s, municipal springs were still common throughout the park, their water prized for its purity. The city would eventually seal up every one, citing water-quality concerns, though some of the ornate stone fonts can still be seen along Kelly Drive and elsewhere. Following the winding network of paths, Goldstein tells me they were carved out by coaches from nearby colleges and high schools who use the rugged landscape for cross-country training. The city estimates that Fairmount Park as a whole has around 15 miles of “soft-surface” dirt trails, although Goldstein says there are at least 10 miles’ worth of pathways spiderwebbed through this section of forest alone. The primitive track, with rough timber >>> continued on page 14
WICKET FUN: Prabhu Raju Krishnaswamy of the Titans Cricket Club, part of the Greater Philadelphia Cricket League, practices in Fairmount Park just off of Parkside Avenue. Local clubs, founded by British expats and Anglophiles, have been infused with fresh talent from Caribbean and South Asian sportsmen.
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bridges spanning streams and berms made out of sunken tree limbs lining hairpin turns, takes us beneath the towering abutment of an abandoned trolley bridge that’s easily 20 feet tall. We stare in wonder. “It’s like a lost civilization,” marvels Goldstein. “You don’t even have to dig to find it.” Later, crossing the Strawberry Mansion Bridge, I ask him if he thinks the city should start reclaiming the wild parts of the park. He stops in his tracks. “What — are you kidding?” he says. “The city would just screw everything up.” Wepass the park system’s fenced-off supply depot, which occupies the old trolleycar barn for the abandoned rail system all around us. Heaped inside the fence, among Belgian blocks and other building materials, are piles of beautifully carved stone benches from another era, being slowly overtaken by ivy.
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UP KELLY DRIVE from The Drum Circle, a different night of the week. DJs have set up next to the river and are blasting electronic music. Operating under cover of darkness, the generator-powered DJ sessions — loosely termed “raves” — have persisted for years, likely evading trouble because they are simultaneously tightly organized and very laid-back, in spite of the pulsing music.
Most people are splayed out on blankets. “What else am I going to do on a [weekday] night?” says Dmytro, one of about 30 attendees. “The cops know, but it’s chill.” Artists affiliated with the local Rizumu collective put on the show, and are careful to keep out troublemakers. One, who performs as DJ Naked Ape, tells me not to write about the event — out of fear not of the law, but of publicity that might attract a younger, wilder element. But it’s hardly secretive: It takes place feet from one of the park’s most popular trails, and has been extensively promoted online. Frankly, there’s not a lot to write about. Most people simply chat and stargaze, sipping beers and passing around bug spray. But I understand their wariness, given the problems at The Drum Circle. They don’t want to attract crime, which would attract authorities. The park administration has a surprisingly sanguine view of these midnight meetups. “As long as they behave within the rules that protect the park and the public, there’s not really an issue there,” says Mark Focht, first deputy commissioner of parks. “We can’t police the whole park 24/7, so the best we can hope for is that people abide by the rules and clean up after themselves.” In any case, the section of the park that contains both The Drum Circle and the Rizumu event is patrolled by the 22nd Police District, the city’s most murder-plagued. Cracking down on innocuous trance-music aficionados would appear to be a low priority. In an hour, only one police car passes by. After pausing at a nearby intersection, it speeds away. SOME ACTIVITIES born in the shadowy vacancies of Fairmount Park have morphed over time into symbiotic partnerships with the overtaxed Parks Department.The Longknockers Driving Range, for one, started out as group of black men teaching neighborhood kids how to swing a club. Eventually, in 1979, the city allowed the members to restore an abandoned driving range at 33rd and Oxford and run it themselves. The driving range is overseen by Henry “Stoney” Stone, who peers out the window of the trailer that functions as the temporary clubhouse. The original building was torn
down in 2011 due to structural decay; the club is now seeking donations to build a new pro shop. After hitting a few balls, I ask Stoney if the city is helping with that project. “What do you think?” he responds with a grimace. A few hundred feet away, the Sedgley Woods disc-golf course has evolved on a similar trajectory. John “Stash” DiSciascio, head of the Friends of Sedgley Woods and a part-time employee of Parks and Rec, says the group, which has been meeting since 1977, won official recognition through its stewardship of the area.While he acknowledges that people sometimes drink or smoke while playing through the course, for the most part his group “leaves it better than we found it.” In fact, the scruffy group of disc-golfers are the only thing keeping the weeds at bay around the ruins of The Cliffs, once a stately Colonial-era mansion atop a hill laced with sloping trails. The course’s “back nine” is a narrow path punctuated by volunteer-created “fairways” that trace an old trail around what’s left of the mansion, a crumbling monument to the municipal incompetence and penny-pinching that decimated this part of the park. The Cliffs fell victim to arson in 1986 after more than a decade of neglect; fire trucks were called in to quench the blaze, but got stuck in the clay earth that had been hauled in to cover up dumped municipal waste. It was the last of three park mansions — part of what is still the most extensive collection of Colonial estates held by any American city — to fall to arson within a year. Amazingly, the devastated Cliffs structure has actually been somewhat stabilized by the Parks Department. “The decision was made to leave it as a ruin,” Focht says. “Yes, there’s some abuse and it’s graffiti-covered, but we’re leaving it as it is.” These urban ruins exude mystery. But they are ultimately a reflection of a lack of capacity, and of the bottomless poverty that has stretched the city’s finances. That poverty has shaped how people use Fairmount Park, too. Sidney Goldstein and other park >>> continued on page 16
WHEEL LIFE: Late on a Friday night, BMX riders turn the Art Museum steps into an exhibition space for their tricks.
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TRICIA! 2-4 YEARS OLD
Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m Tricia, a gorgeous lady whoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s full of personality! Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m 2-4 years old and was found as a West Philly stray, but Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m a true house cat at heart. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d prefer to be your only pet, so that I can have your attention all to myself. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m an independent girl who seeks out affection but will also let you have your space. Wouldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t I make a nice addition to your home?
Located on the corner of 2nd and Arch. All PAWS animals are spayed/neutered, vaccinated, and microchipped before adoption. For more information, call 215-238-9901 ext. 30 or email adoptions@phillypaws.org
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aficionados report encountering people living in the wilds of the park system, or stumbling across abandoned encampments. While some choose to become park pioneers — for example, a back-to-nature type who was spotted living on goose-infested Peter’s Island in the middle of Schuylkill up until last year — most Fairmount Park residents appear to be out of money and options. On a recent afternoon, I came across a makeshift home off of West River Drive, near an old stone rail bridge. Hidden behind a weeping cherry tree, just out of view of passing joggers, is a shanty covered with black tarpaulin. Windchimes dangle from the branches overhead; a clothesline is strung up nearby. As I approach, an older man emerges, holding a ball-peen hammer. I greet him, but he just glares silently, gripping the hammer until I back away. Sam Santiago, an outreach facilitator for Project H.O.M.E., says encampments are not uncommon in the park system. “A few years ago we had, like, a tent city up there off Kelly Drive near Girard Avenue. They had everything set up with solar panels and electric batteries,” he says. For the average Philadelphian, “They’re out of sight, out of mind.” The organization regularly checks in on the small, reclusive population that lives in the park, but they’re a difficult group to serve, says outreach coordinator Carol Thomas. “We’ve encountered people who have severe mental illness. They’re there because they feel safer alone in the park. … There are people who feel that they can survive in the park, who have a military or survivalist background,” she says. “Mostly, people who come to the park really want to be left alone.” IT’S LATE on a Friday, and Paine’s Park — the newly completed skate park by the Schuylkill, built with donated money after the city evicted skateboarders from LOVE Park — is choked with activity: teenagers escaping boredom at home, professional skaters executing impressive maneuvers on the contoured surfaces. Suddenly, a horde of BMX riders streams into the park in a line stretching back down the Ben Franklin Parkway and out of sight. Riders perch along the rim of a sculpted bowl in the middle of all the activity. One stops long enough to tell me that at least 100 of them gather for this event, called a street jam, every Friday.
“MOSTLY, PEOPLE WHO COME TO THE PARK REALLY JUST WANT TO BE LEFT ALONE.” The bikers perform stunts off a staircase built for exactly that purpose. The riders, all ages and races, cheer each other on. Pedestrians on the Schuylkill River Trail stop to watch. Then, at 11 p.m., the lights go out. (The city has them on a timer to conserve electricity.) Paine’s Park’s official hours are posted as 6 a.m. to 10 p.m. Their grace period over, some bikers stay in the park, snapping on head lamps to continue their acrobatics. But most move toward the Art Museum. Following on foot, I see them lined up on either side of the museum’s famous steps. Kids are craning over their handlebars, peering down into the trenches next to the steps, the basins of a pair of cascading fountains the city shut off 10 years ago to stop people from swimming in them. As I scale the steps, I see that some death-defying riders are freestyling in the trenches, jumping from one to the other and landing in the circular pool at the foot of the stairway. Others are riding down the mountainous steps themselves. The stunts are alternately impressive and terrifying. I catch an onlooker, a young kid named LaRon, straddling his bike. I ask him when they claimed the steps as a midnight playground. “They told us they were going to keep the lights on in the skate park all night. They did that for a little while, but then they just started turning them off,” he says. “Now they do this every weekend,” he adds, pointing down into the trench just in time to watch a rider miscalculate and slam against the stone wall. IN THE northernmost stretches of Fairmount Park is the Prior Cricket Club, one of three local teams that practice in the park system, and the only one to have inherited a 1930s-era clubhouse in the park. The structure was built in Philadelphia cricketers’ heyday by expats and Anglophiles with sponsorship from Norristown’s now-defunct Prior Brewery, according to Terence Fernandes, Prior’s secretary. “Here, it was as English as you could get,” he says. “These grounds used to be pristine back then — good enough for lawn bowling,” says Fernandes, looking out over Edgely Field, off of Belmont Avenue. Today, the local teams are the domain of mostly South Asian and Caribbean players. By the time Fernandes, a fit, middle-aged man originally from Bangalore, joined in the 1980s, the other old-money sports teams that shared the clubhouse’s upkeep cost — archery and lawn-bowling clubs — had moved to the Main Line. For a time, cricket was king, infused with a fresh roster of foreign-born players. But that didn’t last. Between rent paid to the city, the cost of maintaining the Depressionera clubhouse and seasonal grass seeding, Prior struggled to stay afloat. As tends to happen in the upside-down world of Fairmount Park, salvation came from an unlikely source. “The Frisbee folks approached us around the time I came — we had had the clubhouse and field to ourselves. There were only 100 of them then,” says Fernandes. Today, 30 or so Prior members share the clubhouse and field with more than 2,000 Ultimate Frisbee players. It’s an uneven split. Fernandes walks me past a pizza party crowded with Ultimate players, and downstairs to a dusty basement lined wall to wall with 80 years of Prior club history. Next to a cramped bar are black-and-white photographs, some laced with cobwebs, showing players in crisp white uniforms with handlebar mustaches traveling to international tournaments in the 1940s and ’50s. At a weekly practice, Fernandes coaches a young Nepalese batsman on a netted cricket pitch in a corner of the extensive Edgely fields. A hard strike sends the ball flying. “Ball! Watch out!” call the cricket players as the ball sails overhead. Ultimate players scatter. The city mows the field twice a month, but together, the teams are largely responsible for keeping this remote part of the park from falling into decay — seeding the grass,
cleaning up trash from St. Joe’s students that party on the field, and essentially funding the city’s upkeep through hefty usage fees. I VISITED the park dozens of times for this article over the summer, walked miles of its trails, spoke with at least 30 people who have found their place in Philly’s overgrown backyard — and still only covered a fraction of what it contains. Such an expansive park would be tricky for even a well-funded,modern parks department to handle. Although the Philadelphia Department of Parks and Recreation has invested in smarter “forest management,” funding is still perpetually short. The department is estimated to have just half of the funding it needs. On top of these limitations is the new challenge of transforming parks into sustainable ecosystems. “Forest and land management is one of the most complex problems for big cities.We have to make sure the park is ready to use and generally clean, every day. And then you have this stewardship obligation that is longer term,” says Parks Commissioner Michael DiBerardinis. Focht says volunteer trail-clearing efforts are fine, but they’re not a long-term solution. “You build a sidewalk and that’s there for 10 years. You clear a trail and it could be overgrown next week,” he says. The favored approach is to focus on eliminating invasive weeds and planting native forest vegetation that requires less maintenance. Even if the city can bring order to the park’s wild plant life, it seems unlikely it would deter the many wild personalities that are naturally drawn there. And this story encapsulates barely half of what I saw in the park: the “Wild Foodies of Philadelphia” who meet weekly to sample the herbs, berries and edible plants; the acolytes of a 17th-century hermit who lived in a cave in the Wissahickon; the Subaru car meet on the Art Museum steps. Nor can it encompass the inexplicable: the man and his dog paddle-boarding down the Schuylkill, a guy banging out a solo on a full drum kit he’d set up amid the trees, the man lounging in his underwear on a picnic table by Kelley Drive. I spent whole days in the park. But I still always felt like I was just scratching the surface, like there was always something more in those woods, just out of sight. (ryan.briggs@citypaper.net)
the naked city feature
FUND
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PHILLY SCHOOLS NOW
To govern is to choose. It is time for Mayor Nutter to choose to stand with Philadelphia’s children.
Send a message to Mayor Nutter and help Philadelphia reclaim the promise of public education. FundPhillySchools.org Youth United for Change, Philadelphia Home and School Council (representing parent associations across the school district), Philadelphia Student Union, Philadelphia Federation of Teachers, UNITE HERE Philadelphia, Media Mobilizing Project, Jewish Labor Committee, Fight for Philly, Action United, AFT Pennsylvania, and 32BJ SEIU
“We can fix our schools. You’ve got a choice, Mayor Nutter. Stand with the governor or invest in our kids’ education.” — Kia Hinton, parent, School District of Philadelphia
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Over the past three years, Mayor Nutter has sided with Gov. Corbett as he gutted funding for Philadelphia’s schools. After closing 24 neighborhood schools and laying off nearly 4,000 teachers and school support staff, Mayor Nutter has done the bare minimum to make sure the schools open on time. He has announced that he will borrow $50 million to open schools this year, but those funds are not enough. The doors may open to our students, but they will face overflowing classes with no arts, music or extracurricular activities, and their schools won’t have enough staff to provide them with individual attention and support. Philadelphia children deserve better.
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icepack By A.D. Amorosi
³ FOR PHILLY CINEASTES,autumn holds great certainty: the reopening of Sansom Street’s Roxy, the Philadelphia Film Fest in October and Liam Neeson showing up for the Prince’s Schindler’s List mega-screening. This week started with some mixed messages, though. Sure, the city’s own Lee Daniels — and Lee, as a fellow Philly-ite, can I say I miss your wild hair? — had the top slot with The Butler and its estimated $25 million opening weekend. But the 2012 filmed-in-Philly Paranoia, which opened Friday, was not only the worst debut of the year (hell, I’ve made more than $3.5 million in three days), it came in 13th — the worst opening weekend of Harrison Ford’s entire career. ³ I haven’t been by the ’70s-theme-park-like Fire & Ice on Market Street in Old City yet, but the extra-large nightclub/eatery is hosting a party on Aug. 28 for the just-started local cable television show, Philly Fashion 360. Hosted by Ron Wilch, 360 seems to be lo-fi-local-loco-fashionista fun. OK, I’ll bite. Wilch, however, will postpone his Philly Fashion Expo until February 2014. “Due to a calendar conflict, we as a fashion community will respect and honor our friends in the industry during one of the holiest days of the year, Yom Kippur,” writes Wilch. ³ Readers of Icepack and City Paper in general know how deep my affection and admiration runs for award-winning local poet, caftan-wearer, Absinthe Drinkers collaborator and overall wordsy guru CA Conrad.This week, Conrad drops his new poetry chapbook, Act Like Polka Dot on Minnie Mouse’s Skirt. Available through Brian Teare’s Albion Books, Polka is printed in a radically limited edition, hand-sewn and done up on a handmade letterpress. ³ Marc Vetri is heading to Moorestown Mall for his second (in a series of?) Osteria location soon, but before he does he’ll go rustic and red gravy-y with the anticipated Pizzeria Vetri at The Granary on 19th and Callowhill. Look for it Sept. 6. ³ With the rush of networks running to Philly to strike gold in the reality-television stakes, why shouldn’t Storage Wars hit us up? Rumor has it that the A&E show’s people strolled Cheesesteak Row and headed to Geno’s. If true, that’s gotta mean one thing: Storage Wars went across the street and tucked into the late Joey Vento’s wealth of motorcycle gear, police ephemera and stacks of creepy life-sized cardboard cutout standups of himself. ³ On Aug. 24, The Legendary Dobbs will feel the wrath of Star II Sun, fronted by Jacky Bam Bam’s buddy Rod Templeton. It’s RT’s birthday, by the way. SIIS has been holed up in the studio working on what’s supposed to be an autumn release, The Phoenix. ³ You’ll find lots more wow factors in Icepack Illustrated every Thursday at citypaper.net/criticalmass. (a_amorosi@citypaper.net)
KEEP UPRIGHT: Photos of Kid Hazo’s faux street signs, like this one establishing a unicycle lane, have been making the rounds on the Internet. KID HAZO
[ street art ]
KH: The project was inspired by NYC-based artists TrustoCorp, a
REDIRECTING TRAFFIC
brilliant duo that created an array of hilarious street signs. They were taken down a few years ago and I wanted to do something similar, but directly related to Philly.
Kid Hazo establishes a unicycle lane and more with absurd but real-looking street signs.
CP: Why were they taken down?
By Jordyn Horowitz
M
any street artists alter existing street signs with paint or stickers. Philly’s “Kid Hazo” (who, like most of his kind, prefers to remain anonymous) creates his own. His installations, generally screwed onto existing city signposts below legitimate signs, mimic municipal design and materials well enough to blend right in if you’re not looking closely. But the messages are absurd: In Love Park, one official-looking sign cautions passersby about vampire squirrels. On a pay phone at Fifth and South, a skyblue sign prohibits the use of the Throwback Thursday hashtag. Another in Center City establishes a unicycle lane, complete with an actual unicycle locked to the signpost. (You can see photos of more of his installations at kidhazo.com.) We talked to Hazo about faking authenticity, Rocky and unicycle spoke cards. City Paper : Let’s start with your name. Where did it come from? Kid Hazo: I loved the idea of the hazard symbol, popping out to
alert you, and I wanted to derive a name from that. “Hazo” came from hazard. It’s totally made up. I Googled it and didn’t find anything, so I decided to use it. CP: How did you come up with the idea for these signs?
KH: If it’s not installed by a specific institution, people sometimes
have a problem with it. Street art has a very short shelf life. CP: Is that the main reason for your anonymity? KH: Whether it’s legal or not, right now, I’m not so sure how it will
Cautioning people about vampire squirrels.
be taken by authorities. I keep my name under wraps for now. If someone does have a problem with it, it will be a little harder to find me. [Laughs.]
CP: You also list Philly-based street artists like yarnbomber Ishknits and Joe Boruchow, who does large, black-and-white paper-cut-looking installations, as influences — what did you take away from their work? KH: I love street art in general as a culture, especially with props. Joe maps his work around certain objects in the city, like mailboxes and doors. He shapes his work around the environment. For Ishknits, she knits work that makes things that are drab become colorful. She involves you, so when you’re walking up to something you have to look twice. I think that’s part of the fun of street art in general — to make sure people aren’t seeing the same >>> continued on page 20
the naked city | feature
[ glowing landscapes and beatific faces ] ³ rock/pop
Refrigerator’s last release was a disc of demos in 2011. Their last fully formed album dates to 2007. Patience, therefore, is a virtue common to Refrigerator fans. The aptly named Glacial (Shrimper), a collaborative project from Refrigerator frontman Allen Callaci and singer/songwriter Adam Lipman, rewards the patient listener. Lipman’s introspective lyrics and sparse arrangements solicit close attention and repeated plays. Callaci’s voice is as evocative as it was 20 years ago, when the Mountain Goats declared with feigned envy and genuine admiration, “I wish I could sing like Allen Callaci, and then you would know how sad it was.” —Matt Hotz
While Belle and Sebastian’s early singles and EPs were aesthetically discrete entities, those from the period collated on The Third Eye Centre (Matador) — roughly 2003 to 2011 — felt, at the time, decidedly more ancillary. But that doesn’t make these 19 B-sides (including three remixes) any less delightful. This was, remember, the era when the band really loosened up and started having fun, and the spirit running through these bold, colorful takes on ’60s pop, blue-eyed soul, funk, ska, bossa-nova, Euro-disco, country, etc. is too infectious to remain —K. Ross Hoffman solely the province of die-hards.
Rodney Anonymous vs. the world
³ bluegrass/country Jonathan Byrd and Chris Kokesh’s
³ house/techno German producer Marek Hemmann performs a decidedly unshowy (but still, somehow, magnificent) balancing act on his excellent second full-length, Bittersweet (Freude Am Tanzen) — 10 tracks of matter-of-fact tech house that’s studiously detailed but never dry, cheerful but not aggressively upbeat, melodic but never at the expense of trusty underlying thump-and-wiggly syncopations. More than any other straight-ahead electronic record I’ve heard this year, —K. Ross Hoffman this one is just a pure, consistent, quiet joy.
flickpick
The Barn Birds (Waterbug) starts off with a pair of sparse originals — just two voices and thoughtful lyrics supported only by his guitar and her violin. The fun starts when Kokesh trades honky-tonk trash talk with Byrd on “One Night at a Time.” They move on to evoke the early days of bluegrass on “Paint the Town Blue.” “It’s Too Late to Call It a Night,” promises romantic shuffling and belt-buckle polishing around the dance floor. —Mary Armstrong
[ movie review ]
AIN’T THEM BODIES SAINTS
A story as simple and iconic as a folk ballad.
³ LET’S GET SOMETHING clear, right up front:
You need to own this CD. And now, the review… Along with “literally,” “survivor” and “Sandusky,” the word “punk” seems to have lost its original meaning: something young, energetic, fresh and joyously rebellious. Punk has now become the generic adjective used, describe everything from Lady Gaga’s wardrobe to crappy Minor Threat cover bands. This vocabulary shift is doubly tragic, as (by the yardstick of punk’s earliest connotation) Krystal System’s Rage is definitely one of the Most Punk records released in recent years. It’s also one of the best. There are 13 tracks on Rage,and each one merrily assaults the listener’s synapses in a unique way, starting with the hyper-industrial post-punk rantcore of the opening title track, through the piano-laden stompabilly of “I Wanna Be” and into “Tyler’s Waltz,” which intermingles snippets of dialogue from Fight Club and a haunting 3/4 beat. If you don’t fall in love with the driving-yet-danceable “Parasites,” then you are a sad person who should be dragged, screaming, from your home and executed in the street to the tune of the haughty taunts of your neighbors’ children. If the flawlessly crafted “26 Days” isn’t your cup of tea, then you need to switch to strychnine. Put this CD on when friends come over. If they don’t like it, they’re not your friends. They’re robots. Verdict: There’s no excuse for not owning a copy of Rage. None. If you visit someone’s home and don’t spot this release in their CD collection, immediately ask to use their bathroom and take a dump in their tub. (r_anonymous@citypaper.net)
✚ Krystal System
Rage (ALFA MATRIX)
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TAINTED LOVE: Bob Muldoon (Casey Affleck) breaks out of prison to reunite with his wife Ruth Guthrie (Rooney Mara).
If they don’t like it, they’re not your friends.
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[ C+ ] THE OBLIQUE STORYTELLING, the magic-hour rural milieu, the young lovers mumbling poetically in wheat fields — Ain’t Them Bodies Saints is so deeply indebted to Terrence Malick that in the early going it seems like it could only be a clone or a parody. Director David Lowery eventually settles into his own rhythm, even if he never escapes the gravitational pull of his more freethinking influences. Determinedly elliptical, Lowery is stingy with plot details, but the story is as simple and iconic as a folk ballad. The ill-fated lovers, Bob Muldoon (Casey Affleck) and Ruth Guthrie (Rooney Mara), discover they’re expecting a baby just before they pull off a robbery that ends in a farmhouse shootout. Ruth wounds a cop, but Bob takes the blame, learning of the birth of his daughter when the news is shouted down the cell block where he’s serving a 25-year sentence. Back at home, the injured officer (Ben Foster) checks in regularly on Ruth and her daughter, hoping to supplant Bob in her life. Bob escapes from prison, shadowed by a trio of ruthless killers, and bloodshed inevitably ensues. But Ain’t Them Bodies Saints aims to be as lyrically obscure in its narrative as it is in its title, averting its gaze from gunplay and action to bask in glowing landscapes and beatific faces. Lowery’s influences — maverick ’70s filmmakers like Malick and Robert Altman — are ever-present in his film. While their work deconstructed and distilled the essence of genre film, turning the then-prevailing mode of storytelling inside out, Lowery’s contribution feels a generation removed from such reinvention. That’s not to say Ain’t Them Bodies Saints doesn’t have its lovely moments or that the cast isn’t adept at conveying a depth beneath the director’s ornate constructions. But the characters are telling a thin, surprise-free story filled with evasive meanderings that feels less like a deconstruction of narrative than like hiding an empty space behind elaborate filigrees. —Shaun Brady
FRANCE!
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³ rock/pop/soul
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aidorinvade
[ disc-o-scope ]
things day in and day out. The street signs are a great medium to use because they add something different to the mix. CP: How do you actually create the signs? KH: [Laughs.] I can only reveal some of that. I had
to do a bit of research to figure out how to start. Once I figured out how to produce them, I started doing some graphic design work in order to create the final project. If I want to directly replicate a sign I try to work out the colors. Then I take a picture and work on the outlines. I do make it a little different so it stands out. It shouldn’t look exactly like the signs already posted.
KH: Learning how to work with the colors and how
to set up a contrast between them is important. The signs are high quality and are meant to be real. If they stay up, they’ll last.
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CP: Do you know where each sign will go before you make it? KH: Yeah, I have it all scoped out beforehand. There’s a lot of planning that goes into these. When I get inspiration, I’ll usually be walking around the city. A sign catches my eye that I think is ridiculous or something that people won’t normally pay attention to, and I’ll play off that. There’s a sign,
KID HAZO
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<<< continued from page 18
CP: They do look pretty authentic, though.
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[ arts & entertainment ]
✚ Redirecting Traffic
based off a bike-lane sign, about Rocky — it has fictional and nonfictional locations to throw people off. Tourists might think some places are real. I actually mapped out the locations from the movie so [the distances] would be accurate. CP: Planning on more prop art
in the future? KH: There is one big one that’s coming up; it has a lot of mini props that go with it. We’ll see if I can pull it off. (editorial@citypaper.net)
FOR ENTRY DETAILS
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With subjects as tragicomically inspiring as Ushio and Noriko Shinohara, Zachary Heinzerling probably could’ve won his 2013 Sundance directing award with an iPhone. But let’s not downplay the first-time documentarian’s elegant and unobtrusive treatment of the married Japanese artists and their emotionally assailable everyday. Distilling the dingy beauty and mundanity of creative life into a lyrical but accessible 81 minutes, Heinzerling reintroduces Ushio, a elderly neo-Dadaist noted for his kinetic works made with paint-dipped boxing gloves (the octogenarian still packs a sick jab). While his up-and-down career is public domain, his wife Noriko, more than 20 years his junior, lives a more obscure existence. Emigrating from Japan with art-world ambitions of her own, she’s always been overshadowed by her recovering-alcoholic husband, who’s at once cold and codependent. “The average one has to support the genius,” Ushio figures at one point, though small gestures reveal he cares much more than that callous quote suggests. Noriko’s autobiographical comic-style character “Cutie,” forever at odds with her companion “Bullie,” comes alive via animated transitions employed to both develop and diffuse tension. There’s also an empathetic glow cast around Alex, the Shinoharas’ atrophied adult son, who seems to have inherited his father’s most troubling traits. This is a love story unlike most, thanks to the quirky singularity of its characters and the honesty Heinzerling’s able to coax out of them. —Drew Lazor (Ritz at the Bourse)
As sardonically demented as it is super-gory, Adam Wingard’s You’re Next, which predates his better-known (and inferior) V/H/S, is a home-invasion screamer for people who hate coming home. Its grinning insistence that petty WASP strife and childhood grudges are just as troubling as masked psychos stalking you with crossbows intensifies both unpleasant extremes. Reuniting with their four adult children at a remote vacation home, reluctant rich couple Paul and Aubrey (Rob Moran and Barbara Crampton) are prepared for war, which starts predictably when Drake (Joe Swanberg), the eldest and most dickish of the brood, starts prodding his younger brother Crispian (AJ Bowen) at the dinner table. When one sib’s significant other suddenly gets picked off through a window, it unleashes the worst in the group — and the best in Crispian’s girlfriend Erin (Sharni Vinson), a sweet Aussie and apparent survival expert. While an integral part of slasher-flick fun is feeling intellectually superior to the hacksawed idiots on-screen, Erin is the quick-thinking badass viewers yearn to cheer for: Smart, tough and unwilling to yield, she’s the most refreshing hero in this most refreshing horror entry. —DL (Wide release)
✚ CONTINUING BLUE JASMINE | B+ Cate Blanchett gives a tour-de-force performance in Blue Jasmine, Woody Allen’s story of a crooked financier’s wife
Missing the excitable clip and teenage sneer of Matthew Vaughn’s first stab, the titular not-that-super hero and his naive associates start slowly and stumble from there in this neutered sequel. Finding his place in the highschool hustle, Dave Lizewski (Aaron Taylor-Johnson) has successfully inspired droves of citizens to don masks and fight crime with the web-documented rise of his Kick-Ass persona. Joining a roster led by reformed mob muscleman Colonel Stars and Stripes (Jim Carrey), Dave believes he’s located his kindred spirits, a family unit that “gets him” in a way his putupon father (Garrett M. Brown) never will. When jilted geek Chris D‘Amico (Christopher Mintz-Plasse), whose mafia-boss dad Kick-Ass tidied up in the first one, throws on bondage gear and rebrands himself “The Motherfucker,” it’s up to the do-gooder crew to protect their loved ones from the onslaught of silly-ass violence. Chloë Grace Moretz, an uproarious novelty as Hit Girl in the 2010 original, is done the fewest favors by Jeff Wadlow’s direction and script, forced to play up her burgeoning boy craziness in multiple clunky attempts to convince us adolescence is just as painful as a throwing star to the eyeball. She energizes every action sequence but is misused everywhere else. —DL (Wide release)
PARANOIA | C-
Wrath of Khan (1982, U.S., 113 min.):
Shown with The Last Starfighter (1984, U.S., 101 min.) in a double feature of sci-fi awesomeness. Fri., Aug. 23, 8 p.m., $15. FringeArts Presents: Romeo Castellucci Film Screening and Discussion with Nick Stuccio: FringeArts’ president/ director talks experimental Italian theater. Wed., Aug. 28, 7 p.m., free.
PHILAMOCA
✚ REPERTORY FILM BALCONY AT THE TROCADERO THEATRE 1003 Arch St., 215-922-6888, thetroc. com. Pennsylvania Hardcore: A doc covering 30 years of hardcore history. Sat., Aug. 24, 7 p.m., $11. Legend (1985, U.S./U.K., 89 min.): Tom Cruise tries to save a bunch of unicorns from a demon who has the hots for the same lady as him. You know, that old story. Mon., Aug. 26, 8 p.m., $3.
THE SPECTACULAR NOW | B+ Sutter (Miles Teller) is the fast-talking, glad-handing, hard-partying popular kid. Aimee (Shailene Woodley) is the naïve, inexperienced, insecure girl dating above her station. They meet cute when he wakes up on her lawn after a night of drinking and embark on an unlikely relationship, with Aimee helping Sutter with his homework before he goes home to chat online with his ex. We’ve seen these characters before and know where this high school story is going: her humiliation, his comeuppance, their shared happy ending. Only The Spectacular Now doesn’t take that easy route. Sutter’s drinking doesn’t stop with the red Solo cups; he’s constantly tipping a flask into his fast-food soda cup. And despite toying with one girl while
BRYN MAWR FILM INSTITUTE
531 N. 12th St., 215-387-5125, philamoca.org. Manos: The Hands of Fate (1966, U.S., 74 min.): See the Agenda section. Thu., Aug. 22, 8 p.m., $10. Samurai Pirate (1963, Japan, 96 min.): While we’re at it, can he be a ninja, too? Wed., Aug. 28, 7:30 p.m., free.
RITZ AT THE BOURSE 400 Ranstead St., 215-440-1181, landmarktheatres.com. The Muppets Take Manhattan (1984, U.S., 94 min.): Before they got their big break in that Weezer video, the Muppets were aiming for Broadway. Fri., Aug. 23, midnight, $10.
824 W. Lancaster Ave., Bryn Mawr, 610-527-9898, brynmawrfilm. org. Lawrence of Arabia (1962, U.S./U.K., 216 min.): An epic WWI-era biopic centered around T. E. Lawrence and the revolt he led against the Turks. Tue., Aug. 27, 7 p.m., $10.50.
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Based on Joseph Finder’s novel, Paranoia trails the sheisty ascent of Adam Cassidy (Liam Hemsworth), a talented blue-collar tech developer struggling
[ movie shorts ]
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The familiar basso profondo of Don LaFontaine opens actress Lake Bell’s directorial debut, set in the world over which the late LaFontaine once reigned: the realm of movie trailer voice-overs. A montage of interviews with the man once known as “The Voice of God” introduces a few of his fictional would-be successors: heir apparent Sam Soto (Fred Melamed), cocky rising star Gustav Warner (Ken Marino) and Sam’s daughter Carol Solomon (Lake Bell), a woman attempting to break into a field long reserved for gravel-voiced men. Melamed, as a bad-father straw man, lends the film’s final moments a calculated measure of redemption, while a campaign against young women speaking in a squeaky, up-talking “sexy baby” voice feels like grafted-on messaging. But Bell and an amiable
KICK-ASS 2 | C
attempting to reunite with another, it’s never entirely clear that even he knows what he wants. Director James Ponsoldt previously helmed the alcoholics-in-love drama Smashed, while screenwriters Scott Neustadter and Michael H. Weber were responsible for (500) Days of Summer. The Spectacular Now dispenses with the hipster irony, and while it ultimately succumbs to sentimentality and writerly tics, it has by that point crafted two fully fleshed, flawed but redeemable characters who can withstand such missteps. —SB (Ritz East)
to advance. In debt up to his dreamy eyeballs caring for his dying father (Richard Dreyfuss), he’s SOL when his surly boss Wyatt (Gary Oldman) cans him after a lackluster presentation. To Adam’s surprise, he’s soon hired back under the condition that he embed himself with Wyatt’s chief rival (Harrison Ford) to pinch all his secrets. Director Robert Luketic, shooting around Philly masquerading as NYC, tries his best to make the urban environs come off cold and unforgiving — lingering copters, menacing black sedans, CCTV shots, the whole lot. Unfortunately, that’s how his stars come off, too. Oldman’s Cockney raving is too much; Ford’s buzzed-head grumbling is too little. And Hemsworth, plus love interest Amber Heard, half-smile and table-read their way to a lazy resolution. —DL (Wide release)
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IN A WORLD … | B-
cast are likable enough to make this an amusing glimpse inside a littleknown corner of filmdom. —Shaun Brady (Ritz Five)
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who hits the skids after his pyramid scheme crumbles. Having lost all her money along with her former friends, Jasmine, who is indeed blue, moves to San Francisco to live with her adopted sister (Sally Hawkins). Jasmine’s one goal is to find her way back to the land of the wealthy, but her nearpsychotic inability to see the world as it is cripples her. Madoff resonances aside, Allen has a tin ear for the 21st century: Bobby Cannavale’s hot-tempered Italian is an ethnic stereotype 50 years out of date. But where his actors are concerned, the material hasn’t been this rich in years, nor have his casting instincts. Andrew “Dice” Clay is soulful and nuanced as Hawkins’ ex-husband, and Allen cannily uses his inexperience to great effect. At times, Blanchett’s clawing at the walls makes the movie difficult to watch, but for once, that’s because Allen means it to be. —Sam Adams (Ritz Five)
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[ cheap, eccentric and threadbare ]
SO METAL: Survival plays Kung Fu Necktie tonight.
The Agenda is our selective guide to what’s going on in the city this week. For comprehensive event listings, visit citypaper.net/listings.
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THURSDAY
8.22 [ standup comedy ]
✚ DAVE ATTELL Nearly a decade before Anthony Bourdain came here to toss back shots with Han Chiang and Peter McAndrews, Dave Attell set the bar for televised late-night debauchery in Philadelphia. With his Insomniac camera crew in tow,
Attell inhaled cheesesteaks, crushed his pelvis while BMXing in LOVE Park and drove a Shriner — all before sunrise. His upcoming shows at Helium probably won’t be as decadently chaotic, but they’ll certainly be filled with the requisite doses of caustic wit and surreal expositions (Google “Racist Dinosaur” and “Horse Sex” … actually, don’t) that continue to define him as one of the rawest comedians working today. —Sameer Rao Thu., Aug. 22, 7:30 p.m.; Fri.-Sat., Aug. 23-24, 7:30 and 10 p.m.; $32-$39, with James Hesky and Pete Davidson, Helium Comedy Club, 2031 Sansom St., 215-496-9001, heliumcomedy.com.
[ movies ]
✚ MANOS: THE HANDS OF FATE The title “Worst Film Ever Made” has been thrown around a lot over the years. For decades, it settled uncomfortably on the shoulders of Ed Wood, whose films were cheap,
eccentric and threadbare, but had enough offbeat charm to make them more fun to watch than most hyper-budgeted blockbusters currently clogging your local multiplex. When Mystery Science Theater 3000 unearthed Harold P. Warren’s 1966 horror (?) film (??) Manos: The Hands of Fate, however, a new contender elbowed Wood’s filmography aside. Here was a film with none of that kooky-uncle quirkiness, with unappealing characters, a complete lack of technical proficiency and pretty much no reason to exist whatsoever. And its filmmaker/star was a Texas fertilizer salesman, a too-easy target for jokes about his cinematic sideline. Manos always looked like it had been buried under a mound of Warren’s product, but now, while countless masterpieces remain unseen or underappreciated, Manos’ original 16mm work print has been granted a digital restoration, screening here as part of Travis Crawford’s new
Danger After Dark series at PhilaMOCA.
pear. But is the threat real, or just in her mind?
—Shaun Brady Thu., Aug. 22, 8 p.m., $10, PhilaMOCA, 531 N. 12th St., philamoca.org.
—Mark Cofta Aug. 22-31, $20, Shubin Theatre, 407 Bainbridge St., 610-357-7241, underbitetheatre.com.
somewhere between twisted Alice in Chains harmonies and Gothic chanting. It’s still baroque and intricate, but for Hunt-Hendrix, this is pretty straightforward rock ’n’ roll. —Shaun Brady
[ theater ]
✚ BIRD IN THE WINDOW Philadelphian Shelli Pentimall Bookler test-drives her new M.F.A. in playwriting from Temple with a new theater company dedicated to new plays by local authors. Underbite makes its debut with the premiere of her drama Bird in a Window. “I thought of the idea of using a really bad date I had once,” she says, “and writing out the extreme of what could have been.” The play, directed by Allison Garrett (Simpatico’s Lysistrata) and featuring sculpture from local artist Lilian Spigelman, centers around a girl so afraid of being stalked that she tries to starve herself to death to make herself disap-
[ metal ]
✚ SURVIVAL As the frontman and mastermind of Liturgy, Hunter Hunt-Hendrix both hybridizes and overthinks black metal. There’s a touch of that same spirit in his new project, but no matter how spiderwebbed the riffs or layered the vocals, Survival is simply a much less pedagogical undertaking. Teaming with bandmates from his pre-Liturgy group Birthday Boyz and, on the band’s self-titled Thrill Jockey release, Behold… The Arctopus guitarist Colin Marston, Hendrix formed Survival without a grandiose manifesto. The music is Sabbath with a more mathematical bent, with trance-inducing vocals
Thu., Aug. 22, 8 p.m., $10, with Harsh Vibes and Sore Saints, Kung Fu Necktie, 1250 N. Front St., 215-291-4919, kungfunecktie.com.
FRIDAY
8.23 [ disco/electronic/dj ]
✚ MAURICE FULTON A heavy-hitting House Nation lifer with mounds of cred and a perennial, boundary-blurring wandering eye, Maurice Fulton’s rap sheet reaches back to Crystal Waters’ 1994 mega-smash “100% Pure Love” (he’s credited with “additional
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[ the agenda ]
sexytime Meg Augustin gets our rocks off
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Âł SHOW AND TELL
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â&#x20AC;&#x153;We celebrate an era that is gone, but not forgotten,â&#x20AC;? a red-sequined Dixie Evans once said of her Exotic World Museum in Vegas. Known as both the â&#x20AC;&#x153;Marilyn Monroe of burlesqueâ&#x20AC;? and, later, the â&#x20AC;&#x153;grandmother of burlesque,â&#x20AC;? Evans â&#x20AC;&#x201D; whose style informed the work of modern marvel Dita Von Teese â&#x20AC;&#x201D; died on Aug. 3, leaving an underground of garters flying at half mast. In celebration and tribute, Aug. 26 to Sept. 1 has been designated Dixie Evans Week, and Philly-based burlesque troupe Peek-A-Boo Revue is paying respect with their own two-day party. The mid-century starlet honed her craft on working-class stages where she quickly got noticed for her resemblance to Monroe. Evans soon changed her show to an ongoing parody of the silver-screen sex kittenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s most famous roles. â&#x20AC;&#x153;If you couldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t meet the real Marilyn, you could come to the burlesque and meet me,â&#x20AC;? she once told the New York Times. The busty blonde didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t stop there, spending her later years curating the Exotic World Museum (later known as the Burlesque Hall of Fame) and Miss Exotic World Pageant. Honoring Evansâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; sexy spirit makes perfect sense for her indirect descendents at Peek-A-Boo Revue. Theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll start with a Evans-centric show on Aug. 31, featuring special guests Lil Steph (a â&#x20AC;&#x153;criminally cuteâ&#x20AC;? dancer) and Lobstar Bisque from the queer and kinky cabaret group Liberty City Kings. Theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll be strutting their stuff in Monrovian fashion with the rest of the Boo brigade. For those who tend more toward the exhibitionist, on Sept. 1, Peek-A-Boo will offer a tribute burlesque class in the vein of Miss Evanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s platinum-blonde shimmy-shake. The companyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s own starlet, Ginger Leigh, will lead a one-hour dance clinic. Put on your longest lashes and prettiest pout and channel your inner burlesque goddess. Show, Sat., Aug. 31, 8 p.m., $15, Underground Arts, 1200 Callowhill St., undergroundarts.org; class, Sun., Sep. 1, noon-1 p.m., $15, 2400 E. Cumberland St, peekaboorevue.com. (megan.augustin@citypaper.net) 1VSQY ca ]cb ]\ BeWbbS` .c\R`U`]c\RO`ba
Meg Augustin is a freelance journalist with a masterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s in human sexuality education.
percussion-stuffed disco-funk to squelchy acid techno and Squarepusher-esque prog-fusion, any or all of which could be up the Melbourne-based DJâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s sleeve at Morganâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Pier. â&#x20AC;&#x201D;K. Ross Hoffman Fri., Aug. 23, 9 p.m., $5, Morganâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Pier, 221 N. Columbus Blvd., 215-279-7134, morganspier.com.
[ jazz ]
â&#x153;&#x161; JALEEL SHAW
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27
Philly native Jaleel Shaw is returning to his hometown for the first time since the release earlier this year of his third and finest CD to date, The Soundtrack of Things to Come. Many of the pieces on the record were inspired by visual sources â&#x20AC;&#x201D; a few were commissioned by the Rubin and Brooklyn museums and based on artworks in their
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drum programmingâ&#x20AC;?). It also encompasses solo ventures under a dizzying array of goofy aliases (Boof, Sticky People, Eddie and the Eggs, Ladyvipb â&#x20AC;Ś ) and production work behind German neodisco diva Kathy Diamond, Tanzanian-British Afro-soul funkster Mim Suleiman and uber-weird aggro-dance duo Mu (with his wife, Mutsumi Kanamori). In nearly all of the above instances, as well as his innumerable remixes, youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re more or less guaranteed bucketloads of thick, rubbery basslines, scattered showers of playground-style percussion and plenty of generally unpredictable fun. A Blink of an Eye (Running Back) â&#x20AC;&#x201D; released earlier this year under the sobriquet Syclops (ostensibly the work of three fictional Finnish ladies) â&#x20AC;&#x201D; runs a typically loopy gamut from quirky,
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rgaicr THURSDAY 8.22 ----------------------------------------FRIDAY 8.23
Sat, August 24th 9pm donations @ door Loafass, WWIX, Trauma Triggers and Otis’s Gun Stash
----------------------------------------SATURDAY 8.24
Sat., August 31st 10pm Free Raunchy DJ Party
----------------------------------------SUNDAY 8.25
Open Labor Day!
STUNTLOCO
DJ SYLO & COOL HAND LUKE
MIGHTY #nice W. DJ MIKE NYCE DJ DEEJAY
DAYTIME PARTY IN THE GARDEN W/ DJ SYLO + FRIENDS
---------------------------------------SUNDAY 8.25 MIC STEWART BAKERY BOYS GNRLYHD
---------------------------------------TUESDAY 8.27
LE BUS Sandwiches & MOSHE’S Vegan Burritos, Wraps and Salads Delivered Fresh Daily! Happy Hour Mon-Fri 5-7pm Open Mic Every Wednesday @ 8:30pm
DJSC DJs JOHN D. & PAUL T.
Beer of the Month Leinenkugal Summer Shandy
FLYGIRRL PRESENTS: THE BOOM!
booking: contact jasper bookingel@yahoo.com
---------------------------------------FRIDAY 8.30
DJs ULTRAVIOLET & AFRODJIAK
FROM THE
Eat or drink anything good this weekend? We want to hear about it!
HOSTED BY ETHEL CEE
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www.silkcityphilly.com 5th & Spring Garden
OPEN EVERY DAY – 11 AM 1356 NORTH FRONT ST. 215-634-6430
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J A S O N VA R N E Y
By Carly Szkaradnik
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³ WAITING LIST
Little Nonna’s | If you’ve been holding your breath for Valerie Safran and Marcie Turney’s ItalianAmerican venture, take heart! You can expect to rediscover the joys of oxygen shortly after Labor Day, according to current projections. In a space that once housed the confusing third incarnation of the ill-starred Fish, the ladies that remade 13th Street have been busy cultivating something decidedly straightforward: the Sunday-gravy-at-grandma’s vibe. Menu teases include stuffed shells with lamb’sneck ragu and veal marsala dressed up with maitake mushrooms. Pastry chef Sara May will offer reimagined versions of classics like cannoli and spumoni. 1234 Locust St., littlenonnas.com.
³ LITTLE VITTLES
Pat Szoke, the Vetri alum who made a name for himself in a big way at Pennsport’s The Industry, has rejoined his old family as the new exec at Alla Spina. ³ The kitchen at Fairmount’s Lemon Hill is now under chef Adam Zensinger’s command, most recently chef de cuisine at Amada. ³ And the Old City location ofHan Dynastyis headed to nearby 123 Chestnut (the gigantic space that was formerly home to Reserve, and right under CP’s offices), after hanging a sign calling their current space “a huge piece of crap.” If renovations stay on schedule, the move should happen within weeks. Got A Tip? Please send restaurant news to restaurants@ citypaper.net or call 215-735-8444, ext. 207.
MARK STEHLE
[ review ]
RISKY COLLINS Pub & Kitchen gambles on a new chef and wins.
By Adam Erace
PUB & KITCHEN | 1946 Lombard St., 215-545-0350, thepubandkitch-
en.com. Dinner Mon.-Sun. 4 p.m.-1 a.m.; brunch Sat.-Sun. 11 a.m.-3 p.m.; bar till 2 a.m. nightly. Appetizers, $4-$16; entrees, $13-$24; desserts $8.
W
ithout having access to its tax returns, I can’t say for sure that Pub & Kitchen is one of the city’s most successful restaurants. But walk by on any night, and it’s not hard to draw that conclusion while navigating the human swell that metastasizes around 7 p.m.: Rittenhouse lotharios hitting on the willowy waitresses, interoffice romances one white wine shy of ignition, brainy empty-nesters with the foresight to buy here in ’94, fantasyMore on: football bros asking bar manager George Costa what Cynar is (it’s a brooding amaro made from artichokes and other botanicals that adds nuance to Costa’s “Sicilian” cocktail, anointed with housemade saffron-sumac bitters), then ordering a beer anyway. At times, Pub seems so busy that the room will start expelling customers out its charming cottage windows like raspberry jelly from an over-fattened donut. Since it opened five years ago, Pub & Kitchen has had one chef: Jonathan Adams, better known as Jonny Mac, now known as Pub & Kitchen’s former chef and current full-time roaster-with-the-
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moster at Rival Brothers coffee (whose joe, in a classy move, Pub still brews). When you have a successful formula, a disruption of the status quo can be rough. Fortunately for owners Dan Clark and Ed Hackett, they’ve found an able replacement in Eli Collins. The move is somewhat of a homecoming for Collins, a Scranton native who worked with Hackett at Gayle and was on Adams’ opening team at Pub & Kitchen before moving to New York to cook at the Plaza Hotel. He went on to join Daniel Boulud’s family of restaurants and had what he calls “the best time of my cooking career” as the chef of DBGB. “Until now.” That happiness shows in his cooking. “While I saw my time at DBGB as a great growth experience, there was always a bit of a manufactured element,” Collins says. “I’ve come up through smaller restaurants with much more personal identities, and saw myself always wanting to execute a personal style of food.” At Pub & Kitchen that often means grains, the current darlings of Collins’ pantry. Cooked, dehydrated MORE FOOD AND and flash-fried, quinoa and barley were DRINK COVERAGE the snap, crackle, pop atop a beautifully AT C I T Y P A P E R . N E T / arranged plate of beets pickled with star M E A LT I C K E T. anise and clove and stuck to whipped Stilton for a refreshing take on a familiar salad. Simmered like risotto, farro, bulgur, rye berries and black-and-white barley had more texture than a Braille phone book; the five-grain stew, a pearly bed for grilled Jersey scallops, was lighter than you’d expect with additions of lemon and herbs, tomatoes and corn. “I wanted to get away from the English pub mold,” Collins says of his initial alterations to P&K’s menu, a change echoed by >>> continued on page 32
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Boot and Saddle | Having recently revived the Dolphin Tavern, the team including Avram Hornik and R5 Productions’ Sean Agnew sets its sights on another classic South Broad location: the club with the big neon boot out front that’s been dark for 18 years. The resuscitated space is set to make its debut Sept. 9, with a show headlined by The Both (better known as Aimee Mann and Ted Leo). The bar and kitchen will be open seven nights a week. 1131 S. Broad St., bootandsaddlephilly.com.
WHOLE ROASTER: Eli Collins’ black-garlic roasted chicken is for sharing, with oven-blistered cherry tomatoes and complicated pommes dauphine “gnocchi.”
✚ Risky Collins <<< continued from page 31
It was still everything you want in a roasted chicken and then some. gracetavern.com
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renovations that freshened the furniture and whitened the dining room. There are still tureens of mussels and a noteworthy burger (double patties, American cheese) with fries that are still called chips, but looking beyond, for instance, to the bread service, you’ll find slices of semolina with cloud-like interiors and crusts that crackle like M&Ms shells. Collins scents the loaves with fennel, working honey into the dough for a subtle sweetness, a thread connected by the bee pollen dusted on the softened butter. Ingredients often link up this way on Collins’ menu. Flowering lemon thyme and candied lemon peel reinforced the lemonade-like citrus notes in gingered chicken-liver mousse studded with pickled blueberries. The summer vegetable plate, a congress of broccoli, zucchini, carrots, cauliflower, celery, beets, corn, turnips and kolhrabi in raw, cooked and pickled forms, isn’t the most exciting I’ve had, but I appreciated how its accessories of Marcona almonds and anchovies appeared both on the plate and in the warm almondmilk bagna cauda dressing. Honey again reunited with pollen in the lamb-ribs entree, glazed with a sweet-and-sour apricot gastrique involving the former and a dusted in an Aleppo-fennel spice blend involving the latter. Before either is applied, Collins rubs the racks with cumin, garlic and anchovy, confits them in their own fat, marks them on the grill and finishes them in the oven, where the apricot lacquer adheres to the lamb like glue. I didn’t love the distracting accompaniments of oil-poached fennel (too crunchy) and yogurt whipped with roasted eggplant (abrasively tangy), but, oh, the ribs … Collins made a variation on them at DBGB, and after having to make 300 pounds for a fancy event in the Hamptons, he says, “I swore to myself I would never do them again.” Be glad he changed his mind. The other big-ticket entree is the black-garlic roasted chicken, available by the whole or half. Talking to Collins, it sounds like he’s able to better infuse the flavor of the fermented allium when working with the full bird, and to be honest, my half order lacked the token ingredient’s depth charge of umami. But with crispy skin shielding perfectly cooked, moist meat like gold leaf, it was still everything you want in a roasted chicken and then some, namely oven-blistered cherry tomatoes and complicated pommes dauphine “gnocchi.” Desserts are chef desserts, meaning basic, barely sweet and better for it. Collins celebrates blackberries (“I can’t remember a better year for blackberries”) with brown-butter-buttermilk shortcakes and basil; apricots in a saffron-tinted jam were spooned over wobbly cardamom panna cotta. “It is the greatest thing to finish a meal,” he says. “I would order one, eat it, then order another one right after.” A practice worth adopting for most anything at the new Pub & Kitchen. (adam.erace@citypaper.net)
To place your FREE ad (100 word limit) ³ email lovehate@citypaper.net I STILL LIKE YOU!
This goes to my neighbor, I hate your bald-headed ass! You supposed to be a woman and I can’t stand your ass! You make me so sick! When I see you I wanna throw the fuck up or throw something at you! Why the fuck do you think that someone wants to sit back and hear your shit! I can’t stand the fact that you act like people of mixed heritage are beneath you! Hell you are a fucking foreiegn bitch that evades the census people when they come around! I wish that you would hurry up and move already! What the fuck is taking your ass so long to go back to Trinidad! You don’t like me and I don’t like you! Dam I hate you!
When I saw you when I was coming from lunch.. I was saying to myself...damn I wish that I could have been with you at that particular moment! I wish I could of been. I still think that you are the one for me. I want us to be as one and do the thing together. With that 9 inch long dick you got! I surely miss that shit. I wish that you would come over my house and bang my brains out! Oh, how I want that..and also let you know that we can fuck in my office anytime that you are ready.
I WAS LOOKIN’ This goes to the cute ass guy on Thursday that I
you’ve had on me. I feel a shock through my body and a sense of inevitability upon seeing you. Our circles overlap around the edges. Our means of expression, though they spring from the same source, are radically different. If you’re reading this, you know who you are. And if this could ever manifest, then you know who I am. If you do, you ought to find me (if you’re intrigued and not spoken for). If you don’t, then you never will.
and then the storm came and the monsters came out at night and frightened you. I was’nt there too slay the dragon and now it seems that the girl that once told me that she would never leave has closed the maot to the castle and let the dragons and trolls out to keep me away. But I have no fear of these things. my love for you give me the strenth of 10,000 men and I will climb the castle wall and claim that which is mine.
NOT WORTH IT!
RE-DO YOUR BIRTHDAY
I think to myself often when I invite you somewhere and you kind of blow me off like I never said shit...why the fuck do I even invite you anywhere! I
I think that even though your birthday was Friday we need to redo that so that we can really explore our other sides and see what is really good. I think that you are so nice, smooth, smart and very protective but you can’t be everywhere at one time, and you aren’t a superhero so...try to be there for me...I can see us in the future together. Having a good time and just relax...remember we can’t be together if you aren’t around....your good but let us be bad together..
DEAR ROOMATE This summer has gone by too fast. Thankfully, I got to spend a huge chunk of it with you. I have had so much fun on our adventures to New England, rendezvous with my alter ego at bars, and strolls around Philly. Just being able to cook each other dinner at night and walk to work together in the morning has been pure bliss. I love you and can’t wait until we can repeat this living situation. Keep in touch ;)
SOMETHING IS WRONG! Something has to be wrong if a person like me is not attached with anyone! I am really tired of the laziness of these men! The bullshit the lies and the absolute disrespect with everything! If you are in a relationship and you are happy then I send my congratulations, but if you are searching over and over! Just be careful! There are so many men out there that are full of shit and they come in all shades and sizes!
FLASHING BEACON OF GUIDANCE An angel of the asphalt...I neither love nor hate you, but I very much appreciate your using your turn signal when you are driving your large, heavy, metallic machine anywhere near me when I am also using the street. In some places it’s called a “directional.” It’s a very useful device, because it lets the people navigating the streets and sidewalks in your general vicinity (other drivers, bicyclists like me, and pedestrians) to know what you may intend to do with your large, heavy, metallic machine in the near future. Thank you for using it! You helped all of us avoid a catastrophe today, between one or more of us and you and your machine. Please pass on the good vibes to everyone else you know who operates one of those machines - you are definitely on to something. And we, my friend, are definitely grateful to you for your thoughtfulness.
SPOILED NEUROTIC BITCH
Is that what we are? Fuckin’ Friends? Over or In? All these years of conversation and we never did it. What the hell is that? You, my manboy, are the BIGGEST tease I ever did see. Bigger than a GIRL! I’m going to call you TRAILER TEASE from now on. Because that’s what you are you trailer park ho man! Don’t even call me or friend me...I don’t want your sorry ass no more! X-off, Negative DD
TALL LIGHTSKINNED
I FALL IN LOVE, EVERYDAY... saw in the front of my building while at work! I looked at you and you said hi and I said hi! Your a delivery guy or driver or something! You said you knew me and my brother..I said yeah...I am sorry I didn’t give you my card..cause I kept smiling.. I hope I see you again. You’re complexion and my complexion looks so fucking hot together mixed! I wish that I had my card on me so that I could give it to you...I hope I see you again! Damn! My bad.
M.K/ YGR
ONCE UPON A TIME Once upon a time we were best friends then we fell in love and became momi and papi and we lived happily within our small modest fairytale.
✚ ADS ALSO APPEAR AT CITYPAPER.NET/lovehate. City Paper has the right to re-publish “I Love You, I Hate You”™ ads at the publisher’s discretion. This includes re-purposing the ads for online publication, or for any other ancillary publishing projects.
33
I’ve met you a few times and don’t believe we’ve really spoken- however, there is a certain effect
don’t think that I will be inviting you anywhere in the future. I am tired of hearing you make excuses to why you can’t go! Do you think that it makes any sense? Do me a favor and kiss my ass! How about that...doesn’t that sound fucking delightful! In the future you supposed to learn from your mistakes... I definitely did...I know that you and I aren’t friend but you play the phony game really well!
It is all good! I can’t beleive I met someone on my trip! It was fucking awesome, there you were and there I was! Playing the slot machine when you walked up and say good luck and I smiled and said what did you say and you repeated yourself and there it was from there straight chemistry. You kissed me and I couldn’t beleive you did it I was shocked but I liked it! You seem like you got a lot on your plate and I don’t want to add fuel to your fire! I just want to be in your company! Even though you live in NY we can be friends!
P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R | A U G U S T 2 2 - A U G U S T 2 8 , 2 0 1 3 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T |
Yes, you once saved my ass - but that doesn’t give you the right to shit in my ear every time you get don’t get your way. If you think your meltdowns and monthly lectures are strengthening our relationship, you’re sadly mistaken. You are slowly PUSHING ME AWAY. One day, I won’t be around to put up with your nit-picky bullshit. Then you can sit around with all the other unappreciative attention-starved bitches, and whine about not finding a “quality guy”. Wake up! You HAVE a man of quality. But I’m really getting tired of being treated like a fucking child! So, please get help. There’s no room in my future for a walking cliche who has to struggle to be happy.
FUCKIN’ FRIENDS
...with my wife! That’s right folks, every single day, and often a bunch of times each day. I can’t help it... I’m dippy in love with her. We’ve been together since ‘92, have two kooky kids, have had our world collapse on us several times, and yet we laugh like crazy at the dinner table... I hold her hand when we walk... we smooch good night and good morning... With all the shit that’s been thrown our way over the years, the one constant is that loves wins... love rules. If writing I HATE YOU takes up any of your time, become the person ready to say “I Love You”... let it flow from your smile and out through your eyes. There is a bee ready to sup that honey. Stay sweet. Love rules..........
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BITCH NEIGHBOR
the naked city | feature | a&e | the agenda | food
[ i love you, i hate you ]
food | the agenda | a&e | feature | the naked city classifieds
merchandise market BRAZILIAN FLOORING 3/4", beautiful, $2.75 sf (215) 365-5826 CABINETS KITCHEN SOLID WOOD Brand new soft close/dovetail drawers, Full Overlay, Incl. Crown, Never Installed! Cost $5,300. Sell $1,590. 610-952-0033 DINING ROOM SET 6 chairs, china cabinet w/light, 2 leaves. $500/OBO. Call 856-667-8417
2013 Hot Tub/Spa. Brand New! 6 person w/lounger, color lights, waterfall, Cover, 110V or 220V, Never installed. Cost $7K Ask $2990. Can deliver 610-952-0033
EAGLES season tickets 2 or 4 row 1 lodge. $1,250/seat. 610-586-1000
jobs
Flyers Tix 2 Sec 114 Row 22 $99 ea. per Game + $20 VIP Parking 609.876.8768
33&45 RECORDS HIGHER $ Really Paid
Mirror-Large. Est. 8x6ft $400 OBO Call 215-242-2401
JUNK CARS WANTED We buy Junk Cars. Up to $300 215-888-8662
**Bob610-532-9408***
33 & 45 Records Absolute Higher $
COMPANION/COOK - Light housekeeping. LIVE IN. Prefer someone over 62. References required. Call 215-873-7800 NANNY WANTED Full Time live-in, in Collegeville area. Call 267-231-9805
***215-200-0902***
BED: Brand New Queen Pillowtop Set $165; 5pc Bedrm Set $399 215-355-3878
COINS, CURRENCY, TOYS, TRAINS
Call Local Higher Buyer - 7 Days/Wk
Dr. Sonnheim 856-981-3397
I Buy Anything Old...Except People! Military, toys, dolls etc Al 215.698.0787
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Grand Piano Steinway & Sons, in Beautiful and in Great condition, 215.222.0651
I Buy Guitars & All Musical Instruments-609-457-5501 Rob
everything pets pets/livestock Please be aware Possession of exotic/wild animals may be restricted in some areas.
Main Coon Kittens vet checked, 1st shots, papers. 610-574-6874
American Pitbull Terriers $600-$650 blue nose, 3F, 2M, parents UKC registered, shorts & wormed, 267-226-5284
Bernese Mt. Pups- AKC, Excellent, shots, TLC, 8 wks $975 717-733-2117 Cavalier King Charles Spaniel Pups, AKC, All 4 Colors, Cute, 215.538.2179
ENGLISH BULLDOG 3F pups, red & white, vet checked, 1st shots, wormed, health guar, $1,800. 717-572-9602
English Bulldog Pups - pedigree, reg., dewormed, vet checked. 215.696.5832
GOLDEN RETRIEVER PUPPIES $375 MALE, 8 WEEKS. Call 717-445-0699 Maltese/Morkie Pups, small shots, health guar, trained. Call 302.562.0762 Miniature Goldendoodle Puppies- Very cute & playful, 10 weeks old, both parents on premisies, $950. Call 717-587-5392
Pekingese Pups - 11 weeks, 4F, 1M, rare black, $349/ea. Call 215-579-1922 PITBULL PUPS - 10 weeks, M/F. Not blues, S/W. $400. 215-834-1247 Pit Bull PupsBlue,UKC. shots/d/wormed $600 obo 302.275.8792
Poodle (Toy) 8 week, F, AKC, Blk Choc, Wht, house raised, $900. (610)926-9629
Rottweiler Pups - AKC, 4 males, 12 weeks old, shots, wormed, vet checked, $695 Call (717)715-4041 Rottweiler Pups - Purebred, great temperments, born June 2013, 4 m, 5 f, $500. Parents on site. Call 856-296-6578
SHIH TZU pups ACA, 23Wks, $625 Solid/Tan & white. Call 215.752.1393
Experienced home health aid is looking to take care of the elderly in their home. Honest & reliable. Call 267-581-4289/610-284-3471 Experienced Nanny/House Manager looking for pos. Mon-Fri. Exc refs. Live out. Call Claudia 484-213-3573
apartment marketplace
2300 S 11th 1br $700-$750+utils. 2nd & 3rd flr, no pets, 2+1. 215.468.8939
1100 S 58th St. 1BR & 2BR Apts heat/hw incl., lic #362013 215-525-5800 S. 57th St. 3BR $765 2nd floor. Call 267-902-9269
1249 N. 60th St. 1BR $575 + elec. 3rd flr., gd loc, near trans., 215-224-9529 300 Block of N 61St. 1br/1ba. $525/mo $1,575 down. 3rd floor, furnished, heat & hot water included. 610-259-5746 540 N. 52nd St. 1 BR Newly renov. 215.525.5800 lic# 333911 54th & Lansdown. 1/1. $500/month + utilities. Call 215-290-8702 . 5636 Walnut 2BR $650/mo. 3rd flr, Ten pays utils. Call 215-778-2862 Parkside Area 1br- 6br $850+ newly renovated, hardwood floors, new kit, Sect 8 ok. 267-324-3197 West Philadelphia 1br/1ba 3rd flr. 4XX N. 52nd St. 484-483-8710 W. Phila. Apts for 62 & older, brand new eff, 1 & 2BR units. Call 215.386.4791 W Phila Eff, 1, 2Br, New For 62 & older Handicapp acces. Avail now 215.386.4791
3500 Powelton Ave 2BR/1BA $1599.00 Apts near Drexel & Upenn, W/D, fully equip. kitchen, courtesy guard 215-386-3177
apartment marketplace 3505 Hamilton St. LG Studio/1BA $1200. / mo. Can be 1 OR 2BR, 3rd fl. W/D, cable TV included! 267.250.2178
Apartment Homes $650-$995 www.perutoproperties.com 215.740.4900
18xx N 52nd St. 2BR $725+utils 2nd flr, duplex w/priv ent. 609-781-5338
16xx W Huntingdon 1BR $450+Utils $1350 move in, no pets 484-450-6553 18th & Ridge Ave 3BR Newly renov. Must see! 215-885-1700 19xx N. 32nd St. 2BR $725+elec. brand new, c/a, $2175 req., 215-322-2375 33rd St. 1-2BR $625 & up newly renov, near Univ 215.227.0700, 9-5 N Philadelphia 2br/1ba $0 22XX N. Gratz St. Nice. 484-483-8710
1, 2, 3, 4 BEDROOM
FURNISHED APTS Laundry-Parking 215-223-7000 12xx W. Allegheny Ave. Efficiency $425. New Reno, 2+1 Move in, Call 215.221.6542 33xx N Park Ave Studio Apt $525/mo. water & heat included, 610-277-9191
11xx Grange Ave 1br $650 inc heat Spacious, renovated, ceiling fans, hdwd flrs, lndry, a/c, 1st/last sec. close to transp., ref. check. Call 215-356-3282 2nd & Oleny Ave 1BR $575+ utils 2nd floor. 215-698-7178 60XX Warnock 1 BR $640+ nr Fernrock Train Station,215-276-8534
1 BR & 2 BR Apts $735-$845 spacious, great loc., upgraded, heat incl, PHA vouchers accepted 215-966-9371 4951 Rubicam St. 3br $900 + util. Call 215-833-4297 5220 Wayne Ave Studio & 1BR on site lndry, 215-525-5800 Lic# 507568 607 E. Church Lane 1BR/2BR nr LaSalle Univ,215.525.5800 lic#494336 GREENE & HARVEY-Summer Special LUXURY GARDEN TYPE 1BR’S Newly decor’d, w/w, g/d, a/c, laundry & cable on premises, off st prkg. Nr transp. 215-275-1457/233-3322
1539 W. Wingohocking St. Effic $525 Near Trans, 2+1 M/I, cable 267.304.1387 DOMINO LN 1 & 2BR $750-$895 Renov., parking, d/w, near shopping & dining, 1ST MONTH FREE! 215-500-7808
63xx Germantown Ave. 2br $750 Lg, low utils, w/w cpt, yrd, 215-681-3896
1xx W Grange Ave. 1BR beautiful, 215-805-6455
$595+utils
13th/Erie furn rms $85 & up/week Priv. ent, single occupancy 215-514-7143 1547 S. 30th St. Furn, fridge, $125 week, $375 move in. No kitchen. 215-892-7198 2200 Camac St. Room for rent. $500/mo, util incld. 215-720-5725. 22nd & Tioga priv ent paint use of kit ww $120wk $290move in 267-997-5212
66th Ave. 2BR, $675+Elec 3rd Flr, No Pets, Call 215-651-3333
2745 Germantown Ave. 1br. $300/mo. Call Henry 267-974-9271
68xx Forrest Ave. 1BR $610+utils Sec 8 ok, Avail now, 215-779-0871
38xx N. 15th - Furn. room, $100/wk, Plus $300 sec. Call 267-809-7866 55/Thompson deluxe quiet furn $130 week priv ent $200 sec 215-572-7664
34xx Kensington Ave. 18XX E. Tioga St. 2BR/1BA $$675, $595 (215) 485-1887
5800 Chestnut St. - $375, furn. room, $75 sec. dep. Call 267-701-6559 60xx Vine St, $115/wk + 2 wks sec, cable tv, Call Gee 267-767-4496
4670 Griscom St. Studio & 1BR Newly renov, Lic#397063, 215-525-5800
FRANKFORD 1BR $600+UTILS 1st floor. Call 267-266-6003 9a-7p
1600 Frankford Ave 1BR/2BR $1200$1600/mo. Brand new, Granite C/T, $35 credit check fee. 215-651-1671.
2217 E. Cumberland 2BR Newly renov. 215-525-5800 lic# 356258
5904 Keystone St. Deluxe Studio $675 C/A. No Smoking/Pets. (215)744-1625 Lawndale Large Studio $625 +utils. Lawndale Large 1BR $695 +utils. A/C, Terrace, beaut. units.609-408-9298 MAYFAIR 2BR $790 2nd flr Duplex, wall to wall, AC, appliances, garbage disposal. 215-287-2121 NORTHEAST - 1BR-$575, 2BR-$750. SPECIAL 1/2 MONTH OFF Good area, newly remodeled. Call 215-744-8271
61st & Walnut - New Rooms To Rent $400 to move in. Call (267) 257-5815
Allegheny, furn, quiet, near L train, $90/week, $270 sec dep (609) 703-4266 Broad & Erie, $120/week + $300 sec. single, ideal for Seniors, 215-880-1799 Broad/Olney furn refrig micro priv ent $115/$145wk sec $200 215-572-7664 FRANKFORD , Newly renov, nicely furnished, A/C, W/D, cable, clean, safe & secure. Call (267) 253-7764
Frankford, nice rm in apt, near bus & El, $300 sec, $90/wk & up. 215-526-1455 Germantown Area: NICE, Cozy Rooms Private entry, no drugs (267)988-5890 LaSalle Area with Cooking $259 Move-in Special. 215-219-3411 Mt Airy 61xx Chew Ave, W. Phila 42xx Girard Ave. $85-$125/wk. 215.242.9124 N. Phila. $75 & up. SSI & Vets + ok, drug free. Avail immed. 215-763-5565
N Phila. & Strawberry Mansion Area: Beaut. rehabbed home. 2 full baths $450-$500/mo. Call 215-888-1117
Overbrook room for rent, no sec dep. Washer & Dryer, Call 484-479-4836 Wallingford 2BR/1BA $1,050 Newly renov, w/large bsmnt, new appls. Access to pool 610.876.5625
SW, N, W Move in Special $90-$125/wk Clean furn rms, SSI ok, 215.220.8877 W Phila & G-town: Newly ren, Spacious clean & peaceful, SSI ok, 267.255.8665
28th & Reed 3 BR $695+utils. $2,085 move in, 215.365.4567
12xx S Wilton St. 2br/1ba $750 1st Flr, W/Bsmnt & Yard, 215.365.4567
automotive Audi A4 Cabriolet 2006 $11,900 Convertible, 92K mi, excellent cond. Navy with Tan interior, 1.8 T. 215.570.1766 Ford F250 1990 $2,250 OBO 80K Mercury Sable 2002 $2,450 OBO Cadillac Eldo 1999 $4,575 OBO 90K
Honda Pilot EXL 2003 $9,500 AWD, 84K, Org. Ownr. 610-496-1057
MERCEDES ML 350 2008. $27,000 Call Madeline, 484-924-8650.
Beautifully renovated Call (267)981-2718
55xx Pemberton St. 3BR/1BA Section 8 welcome. (215)906-6549
Mercury Grand Marquis 2003, Luxury 4 door, new body style, few original miles, like new $5,975. Mary 215-922-6113
Nissan Altima 2006 $4,495 BMW 325 2003 $6,595 Nissan Maxima SE 2006 $6,995 Call 215-901-7867 PONTIAC FIERO GT RED 1988 $7,500. 53,000 miles, show car. Call 215-635-5360
7XX N Dekalb. 3br/1ba. $775 utils. Renovated. Credit check. 215-464-9371
6606 Haddington Lane 3br/1ba $995 www.perutoproperties.com 215.740.4900
1445 N. Hollywood St . 2BR/1BA $675. Living room, dining room, kitchen, storage rm in back. Call 267-592-7150
23xx North 12th Street, 3BR $825+ util, 215-740-0200
Layton Park Model 40â&#x20AC;&#x2122; 2006 $17,000 3 season room, 2 full BR & BA, Season paid campground, deck, 856-287-5338
A1 PRICES FOR JUNK CARS FREE TOW ING , Call (215) 726-9053
26xx N Chadwick St. 3BR $700 mve in,215.229.0556, 215.228.6078
Temp Hosp area. 3/4BR Single Fam Home Avail now, Move in Special 215-386-4792
2xxE.Haines St 5BR/2BA $1150 backyard, front porch, 215-701-4731
Kensington 1&2BR Houses Sec 8 ok. 215-839-9211 732-267-2190 Lee St. 2BR $600/mo. fncd bkyd, fin bsmt, 215-514-0653
PHILA 4BR/ 2BA Section 8 Ok. Call 215.322.6086
21xx Margaret St 2Br/1BA $750+Utils Sec 8 Ok, 215-740-4629 5xx Rosalie 3BR/1BA $800 + utils 14xx Steven St. 3BR/1BA $800 + utils Houses 267-476-0224
MAYFAIR W/D hookup.
3BR/1BA $875+utils Call 215-300-9313
Sharon Hill 2br $830 No pets, renovated, 1 mo. security, 1 mo rent, near bus & train 610-586-5562
HD Ultra Classic 2007 $15,900 7700 miles, 6speed, Black Pearl/Fire Red Loaded w extras! Call 610-513-3514
low cost cars & trucks Buick Century Custom 2000 $3,500/BO Silver, 84,000 pampered mi, dealer maintained, very good cond. 610-356-0167
Cadillac Seville 1978 $5,000 48K mi. excl cond. Call 302-333-3677 Ford 2000 F-150 deluxe pickup truck, 4Dr, A/C, extended cab w/fiberglass cover $4,985. light comm. 215-922-5342
Ford Explorer Luxury 4 door 2002 Fully equipped, A/C, too nice to trade in Senior Citizen will sac less than book value $3,875, not a misprint. Call 215-922-2165
Ford Windstar LX 2002 $2900 89K Mi, New Insp, All Power, Very Good Condition, 610.964.9751
Infinity i30 2001 $3450 Ivory, M/R, Lthr, Bose 267.592.0448 KIA SEDONA EX 2004 $5,000 Mini Van, Loaded, 71,000 Miles, Like New, New Inspection. 610-506-5759
Lincoln 2001 Luxury 4 dr Towncar w/ sunroof, mint cond., chauffer driven, few original miles, special car for a particular buyer, $5975. Lynn 215-928-9632 Lincoln LS 2002 $2675 V8, 17 in alloy, Alpine CD, 267.592.0448
We met in AC call Teresa. 571316-3545.
VIAGRA 100MG, 40 pills+/4 free, only $99.00. Save Big Now, Discreet shipping. Call 1-800-374-2619 Today!
PennSCAN Public Notices ADVERTISE
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Business Services CAPITAL AVAILABLE
Financing available for apartments/office/medical buildings shopping centers. $500k min Call MCG 1-888-258-0658.Visit www.mcgfinancing.net Cut your STUDENT LOAN payments in HALF or more Even if Late or in Default. Get Relief FAST Much LOWER payments. Call Student Hotline 1-888-2515664 (AAN CAN) Class: Financial Services REDUCE YOUR CABLE BILL! A whole-home Satellite system installed at NO COST. Programming starting at $19.99/mo. New Callers receive FREE HD/DVR upgrade! CALL: 1877-342-0363 REGULAR MASSAGE THERAPY
Special Price! $45/hr. Call (215)873-4835. 1218 Chestnut St.
Business Services CAPITAL AVAILABLE
Financing available for apartments/office/medical buildings shopping centers. $500k min Call MCG 1-888-258-0658.Visit www.mcgfinancing.net Cut your STUDENT LOAN payments in HALF or more Even if Late or in Default. Get Relief FAST Much LOWER payments. Call Student Hotline 1-888-2515664 (AAN CAN) Class: Financial Services REDUCE YOUR CABLE BILL! A whole-home Satellite system installed at NO COST. Programming starting at $19.99/mo. New Callers receive FREE HD/DVR upgrade! CALL: 1877-342-0363 REGULAR MASSAGE THERAPY
Special Price! $45/hr. Call (215)873-4835. 1218 Chestnut St.
Hospitality BANQUET HALL IN NORTHEAST PHILLY
Private Room for up to 100! Perf for work, birthday, family, graduationparties. Parking and several pkg options! Call Annie 215-745-1292 for reservations
Mitsubishi Galant ES 2003 $1750 Auto, Loaded, Clean 215-280-4825
For Sale
Pontiac Bonneville 2000 $1500 All power, Insp, runs excel, 215-620-9383
KILL BED BUGS & THEIR EGGS! Buy a Harris Bed Bug Kit. Complete Treatment Program. Odorless, Non-Staining.
Pontiac Sunfire 2005 $1,550 Auto, cd, sunroof, runs new 215.620.9383
Health Services
HELP WANTED
â&#x20AC;&#x153;Can you dig it?â&#x20AC;? Heavy equipment Operator Training. 3 weeks hands on program. Backhoes, Bulldozers, Excavators. Lifetime Job Placement Asst w/National Certs.. VA Benefits Eligible. 866-362-6497.
Employment Agency/ Service A RELIABLE DRIVER
We seek for a relible and skilled Driver must have a valid drivers license,Must be co-operative and hardworking. send your resume to smithwilliams@ bestmail.us
Help Wanted DRIVERS
CDL-A SOLO & TEAM DRIVERS NEEDED! Top Pay & Full Benefits. Even MORE pay for Hazmat! New Trucks Arriving daily! CDL Grads Welcome! 800-942-2104 www.TotalMS. com DRIVERS
Up to $5,000 SIgn-On Bonus. Hiring Solo and Teams. Excellent Home Time & Pay! BCBS Benefits. Join Super Service! 866-933-1902 DriveForSuperService.com HELP WANTED DRIVER
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DRIVE A REEFER? DRIVE MAVERICK! MAVERICKâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s NEW REEFER DIVISION IS NOW HIRING INYOUR AREA!! Exp. Drivers or students with Class A-CDL for training. BRand New equipment, First year average $39K - $47K depending on experience. Highest milagepay in industry plus pay for performance incentives. All with the best name in trucking. Must be 21 yrs old and hold Class A-CDL. 1-800-289-1100. www.drivemaverick.com HELP WANTED DRIVER
DRIVERS: Transport America has Dedicated and Regional openings! Variety of home time options; good miles & earnings. Enjoy Transport Americaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s great driver experience! TAdrivers. com or 866-204-0648.
Extra Income! Assembling CD cases from Home! No Experience Necessary! Call our Live Operator Now! 1-800-405-7619 Ext. 2450 http://www.easyworkgreatpay.com HOSPITALITY INTERN WANTED FOR RESTAURANT IN Nâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;EAST PHILLY
Seeking an energetic intern currently pursuing an education who desires knowledge in all aspects of public relations/ marketing for the banquet facility, bar/restaurant, food & beverage. email resume to intern2210@gmail.com MOVIE EXTRAS NEEDED!
All Looks Needed. Movies & TV. No experience Preferred! Flexible Hours, Earn $200-$300/ Day! Call 877-625-1842 WELLMAN DYNAMICS â&#x20AC;&#x201C; FOUNDRY SUPERVISOR
Supervises and leads a combination of two or more of the following manufacturing functions and people performing those functions: machining, fabricating, processing, foundry, inspection and any related function in the cell/unit for aluminum/ mag casting manufacturing. Maintains positive employee relations, training, and safety, and quality, scrap/rework ensuring a product on cost and on time. Utilizes all resources in technical services to ensure all processes are in compliance with our standards of quality. Lean experience preferred. Please apply online at www. fansteel.com or email at liberty. hansen@wellmandynamics. com.
Learning Curve Directory AIRLINE CAREERS
Begin here - Become an Aviation Maintenance Tech. FAA approved training. Financial aid if qualified - Housing Available. Job Placement Assistance. CALL Aviation Institute of Maintenance 1-877-206-7795 AIRLINE CAREERS BEGIN HERE
Get trained as FAA certified Aviation Technician. Housing and Financial aid for qualified students. Job Placement assistance. Call Aviation Institute of Maintenance 877-492-3059
FISHTOWN
1600 Frankford Ave 1 and 2 bedroom apartments, newly rehabbed building, h/w floors, central air, all stainless steel appliances including dishwasher, washer and dryer in each unit. $1400 - $1600 Available July 1st $35 non refundable credit check 215-834-7832 â&#x20AC;&#x153;GRADUATE HOSPITAL AREAâ&#x20AC;?
$1595. / 2br. House for Rent 1400 Block Clymer St. Phila. Pa.19146 (google map) Next to the Avenue of the Arts. UNIQUE - Townhouse 1 of only 6 houses on this dead end street.Very
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Browse hundreds of online listings with photos and maps. Find your roommate with a click of the mouse! Visit: http:// www.Roommates.com.
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I99I" ?D9$ Hauling & Cleanout Services. Call for Free Estimates
(215) 782-1740 WWW.SCCS-CONTRACTORS.COM
2 BEDROOM APARTMENT
Queen Village 2 bedroom, $1100/month Available Immediately Call 215-574-9223
Condos for Sale
A New Hope Hypnosis
1 BDRM APT NORTHEAST
One Bedroom First Floor Apartment, Large Kitchen & Living Room, near transit, shopping, park. $650+utilities. Avail 10/1. Call 267-496-6637
Land/ Lots for Sale 20 ACRES FREE!
Exp. Reefer Drivers: GREAT PAY/Freight lanes from Presque, Isle, ME, Boston-Lehigh, PA. 800-277-0212 or primeinc.com HELP WANTED!
FAMILY CAMP FOR SALE
Make extra money in our free ever popular homailer program, includes valuable guidebook! Start immediately! Genuine! 1-888-292-1120 www.easyworkfromhome.com
Apartments for Rent
quite and private location! 2 Bedrooms, 1 full bath on 2nd. floor. First floor living rm. dining/area/ Kitchen and Large rear yard.Kitchen has all new appliances with garbarge disposal, all new Hickory cabinits,Granite counter tops, Side by side refridgerator w/ice and water on the door, new gas stove with microwave under top cabinit stainless steel sink. Full basement includes washer and dryer, all new Heading and Central Air Conditioning Systems. Gas cooking,Heating and Hot water. For more information contact: Bernard at:
Homes for Sale
Buy 40-Get 60 Acres. $0 down, $198/month. Money back guarantee, NO CREDIT CHECKS. Beautiful views. Roads/Surveyed. Near El Paso, Texas. 1-800-843-7537 www.SunsetRanches.com
HELP WANTED DRIVER
different properties at www. LandandCamps.com
Beautifully Finished Cabin on 5 Acres, Woods,Nice Lawn, Quiet County Road, Stocked Fishing Pond, & Guest Cabin. Only $69,995. Call 800-2297843 or see photos of over 100
â&#x20AC;˘ STOP SMOKING IN TWO HOURS â&#x20AC;˘ Are you looking to ďŹ nally kick that habit and stop smoking with HYPNOSIS? With 10 years of experience, Damian is a professional hypnotist who will help you get the results you are looking for with a custom program for each client. HYPNOTHERAPY Damian Miller, CertiďŹ ed Clinical Hypnotherapist Center City â&#x20AC;˘ 15th and Sansom
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39
Pedricktown. 3br/1.5ba. $1200/month. Large. lndry rm. Avail 9/1. 856-466-4002
Personals
KILL ROACHES! Buy Harris Roach Spray/ Roach Trap Value Pack or Concentrate. Eliminate Roaches-Guaranteed.Effective results begin after spray dries. BUY ONLINE homedepot.com (NOT IN STORES)
$$$HELP WANTED$$$
P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R | A U G U S T 2 2 - A U G U S T 2 8 , 2 0 1 3 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T |
3275 Memphis Street 3BR/1BA $1050/ mos +ut. MUST SEE. Beaut. new renov. (215) 694-0360. hbckb@msn.com
Talk with caring agency specializing in matching Birthmothers with Families Nationwide. LIVING EXPENSES PAID. Call 24/7 Abbyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s One True Gift Adoptions. 866-413-6293.Void in Illinois/New Mexico/Indiana
Available online at homedepot. com (NOT IN STORES)
classifieds
2BR Houses Sec. 8 Welcome
PREGNANT? THINKING OF ADOPTION?
CHRIS
SW Phila 6439 Paschall Ave. 2BR or 3BR $850 + utils. Modern. Call 215-726-8817
15xx Frazier St. 3br/1.5ba $695+utils Sec 8 ok, No pets, Call 267-753-5403
Adoptions
the naked city | feature | a&e | the agenda | food
homes for rent
billboard [ C I T Y PA P E R ]
AUGUST 22 - AUGUST 28, 2013 CALL 215-735-8444
DISH TV Retailer
ENJOY 100% guaranteed, delivered-to-the door
OMAHA STEAKS!
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Building Blocks to Total Fitness 12 Years of experience. Offering personal fitness training, nutrition counseling, and flexibility training. Specialize in osteoporosis, injuries, special needs. In home or at 12th Street Gym. MCKFitness@yahoo.com
Starting at $19.99/month (for 12 mos.) & High Speed Internet starting at $14.95/month (where available). SAVE! Ask About SAME DAY Installation! CALL Now! 1-800-741-9618
INDEPENDENCE UNIVERSITY
Online Degrees Call: 800-961-2503
I BUY RECORDS, CDâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S, DVDâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S
photostream@citypaper.net
ONLINE DEGREES
Healthcare, Business Technology and Graphic Arts Independence University 800-961-2983
THE BIZARRE BAZAAR
Save $500! Get 40 pills for only $99.00! Buy The Blue Pill! 888-349-1150 Satisfaction Guaranteed
Submit snapshots of the City of Brotherly Love, however you see it, at:
PHILADELPHIA EDDIES 621 SOUTH 4TH St. (in the MIDDLE of Tattoo Row) 215-922-7384 open 7 DAYS
bestest and weirdest ; gifts, cool-lectibles , fun finds, buttons,postcards,stickers, tshirts, vintage , posters, rarities, art, antiques and ? YOU never know what YOU will find thurs thru monday 12-8 720 south 5th st Philly
Do you take Cialis? or Viagra??
Show Us Your Philly.
MAKE THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE AND GET A TATTOO
ProFlowers
TOP PRICES PAID. No collection too small or large! We buy everything! Call Jon at 215-805-8001 or e-mail dingo15@hotmail.com
Send Bouquets for Any Occasion. Birthday, Anniversary or Just Because! Take 20 percent off your order over $29! Go to www.Proflowers.com/miracle or call 1-866-717-8261
STUDY GUITAR W/ THE BEST David Joel Guitar Studio All Styles All Levels. Former Berklee faculty member. Masters Degree with 27 yrs. teaching experience. 215.831.8640 www.myphillyguitarlessons.com
TEQUILA SUNRISE RECORDS
WHATâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S ON TAP AT THE WATKINS DRINKERY?
Tommyknocker Pumpkin Ale Brooklyn Oktoberfest Roy Pitz Belgium Strong Ale Dockstreet Cocoa Saison Rock Art Imperial Stout Widmer India Pale Ale All that and more at the Watkins Drinkery in South Philadelphia. Corner of 10th & Watkins 215-339-0175
Kensington Happy Meal available exclusively @ The El Bar!
2 All Beef Hot Dogs, 1 PBR Pounder, a bag of chips & a mystery toy! $5 Everyday til 7pm. 1356 North Front Street
CANADA DRUG CENTER
is your choice for safe and affordable medications. Our licensed Canadian mail order pharmacy will provide you with savings of up to 75 percent on all your medication needs. Call today 1-800-418-8518 for $10.00 off your first prescription and free shipping.
SEMEN DONORS NEEDED
Healthy, College Educated Men 1839 ~ $150/Sample WWW.123DONATE.COM
525 West Girard Ave VINYL AND CD SPECIALISTS CLASSIC & MODERN GLOBAL SOUNDS HOUSE TECHNO DUBSTEP DUB DISCO FUNK SOUL JAZZ DIY PUNK LSD ROCK AND LIGHT HARMONY ROOTS BLUES NOISE AVANT AND MORE TUESDAY-SUNDAY 12-6PM 01-215-965-9616
PASSIONAL has MOVED!
Visit our NEW LOCATION at 317 South St! Info? www.passional.net
SEXPLORATORIUM has MOVED!
Visit our NEW LOCATION 2nd fl 317 South St Info? www.sexploratorium.net
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