Photoessay Magazine

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CONTENTS

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PORTRAIT

PAGE 25

Artist Maka Mikeladze

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DOCUMENTARY

GUEST

Eana Korbezashvilis photo project

Photographer Levan Kherkheulidze

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CONCEPTUAL

2.0

Qeta Gvinepadzes photo project

Photographer Samad Ismailzade

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FASHION

NEWBIE PHOTOGRAPHER

Designer Tamta Baramia

Giga Tsikarishvili

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CINEMA

THEATRE

"All about my Mother" Guram Muradovs photo project According to the P.Almodovars movie.

"PSEUDOCYESIS" Director Luka Chkhaidze

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Š PHOTOESSAY Georgian Online Magazine 2014 3

EDITOR IN CHIEF Guram Muradov EDITOR Lasha Kavtaradze CREATIVE DIRECTOR Qeta Gvinepadze PHOTOEDITOR Eana Korbezashvili JOURNALISTS Nata Avaliani Tako Poladashvili PHOTOGRAPHERS George Gogua George Bazaev ENGLISH TRANSLATION AND EDITING Irakli Malania Elene Kvernadze GUESTS Maka Mikeladze Nino Gomarteli Levan Kherkheulidze Nelly Alarma-Vidondo Giga Tsikarishvili Bianka Shigurova Ilia Khutsishvili George Qarqishvili Keti Nadibaidze Luka Chkhaidze Demetre Datiashvili Tamta Baramia Buba Beboshviil Nini Jgutashvili Samad Ismailzade

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COVER Actress Nino Gomarteli Photographer Guram Muradov

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FROM EDITOR HER MAJESTY, DEPRESSION Everything starts with an idea, and behind every idea there’s a desire to achieve something. The idea to start an online magazine was born from a desire, desire- to create something new, that would allow us to express ourselves. Something that would be more than posting a status on Facebook or picture on Instagram, which so many times aren’t so important and tend to be silly.

It’s said that on average people waists 9 hours of their precious time on choosing Instagram filter in a year. So we decided to dedicate rubric WEB 2.0 to these people, where you will have a chance to live a life of somebody else for a minute.

Since we started talking about different ways of self-expression, it’s really hard not to mention spiritual condition, diverse, sometimes black and white, which pushes us towards sometimes positive and sometimes negative “heroic deeds”. For example, her majesty depression, once I thought that this was a moment when life just ends, but as time went by I realized something totally different, this moment is a passage and after crossing it, you’ll turn a new page in your life. And then you have to get to know yourself, take off your black shades and enjoy the colors around you. It’s not necessary to ignore all the dark colors; you just have to use them to create something pleasant. Look up in the sky and see all the colors that create beautiful shades.

If everything I told you isn’t enough, than just let me recall 25th frame, which we can’t recognize or we don’t want to recognize. Just look around and you’ll see it in the hands of grumpy woman working in a subway station, in the eyes of the door-keeper, who’s supposed to look happy, in the simplicity of the yard-keeper, who early in the morning takes care of the trash in our streets. When you read our magazine please don’t forget to look at page 25 and unlike 25th frame try to read between the lines.

After choosing depression as the theme for this issue, our group decided to ask people- how they cope with melancholy, loneliness, boredom. We realized that there are as many views as there are people on this topic. Some people use this situation in their favor, some people just want to stay alone with their demons, some blame everything to others, some just try to create something beautiful and paint. And after everybody gets what they want, they agree that, in reality, everything depends on us.

And generally, depression is not just good or bad; it’s just what it’s supposed to be, good and bad at the same time. It’s something close to music by Katie Melua, sad and amusing all together. Just think of her music “Spider Web”- “The piano keys are black and white, but they sound like a million colours in your mind”.

GURAM MURADOV 7

FROM EDITOR THE STARTING POINT - DEPRESSION It’s a huge risk to start launching a magazine with depression as a main theme. Not because the topic is irrelevant or persistent, it just sounds depressing to start with depression.

I really don’t want to write my column like any other “normal” editor would do and tell you everything what you’ll read in this issue of “Photoessay”. Just to let you know, there is not much to read in here. You’re going to see much more than you expect.

Without my directive you’ll do just fine. I just want to let you know that we decided to show you depression as it is in our reality.

Before we started working on the magazine, some Georgian writer wrote that our generation uses depression as a way of entertainment. I think this is as true as it can get. Half of my friends have a continuous depression, the other half just drink every day, the remaining part smokes, and these are just some ways, which they use as a cure of depression. I’m somewhere in the middle. The environment around us is really depressing also, my words aren’t capable of describing it, you need a really good writer to reach its deep layers. You meet depression everywhere, starting from the rural villages in Georgia and finishing with fancy roads of Paliashvili- Abashidze covered with dog feces.

And still, everybody wants to talk about this topic, but they are afraid. That’s because every depression has it’s own IP address and it’s unique in it’s own way (for example, one of my friends is depressed, because he left Georgia, when I blame Georgia to be the reason of my depression.) and also people are afraid of stereotypes and they think only “losers” talk about depression. Unfortunately people can’t see beyond pride and prejudice, we can find a better comfort zone.

If you asked Osho (to be correct if you asked him 20 years ago), he would say depression is always accompanied with other depression, because we are depressed.

Despite the fact, that this Indian guru talks a lot of nonsense, it’s really hard not to agree with him. Anyway my experience shows me the same thing.

Often everything starts with boredom. The worst-case scenario is when you can’t move from existential boredom to creative one. However, the same thing happens when you think everything’s going to change. In general, boredom isn’t more than antithesis of diversity. At this point any pointless change can be stimulus for change.

And silent optimism lets us realize that what we call depression in many cases is just boredom, we have to learn how to manage it and how to transfer our energy. In this situation we have two possible solutions, ether surrender and wait until it spits you out or just believe Orhan Pamuk, who is almost like Paulo Coelho in Georgia, and take his words to comfort yourself- “I am too clever to be happy.”

So, we are staring with depression, but not in a depressing manner. We believe we can inspire you with our depression and anxiety. Contact us, criticize us, but not too much- so that we don’t end up getting depressed.

LASHA KAVTARADZE 8

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PORTRAIT

MAKA MIKELADZE Artist “As soon as you look at yourself from a different angle, the problem becomes part of history.”

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“Depression is accumulated unused energy. If this energy will find it’s way through art, then extraordiray results can be obtained. It’s a masperpice and a way to human salvation.”

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“Drawing is the best therapy for depression. I was devoted to painting at times, when I most strugging with depression. If a depressed person is aware of his/her own condition and wishes to get out from this situation, it’s essential to underderstand your personality and god. Painting a self-portrait is the best way to get to know yourself.�

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“A person capable of expressing his/her inner nature can easily overcome the challanges ahead of them. Self-expression is a crucial part of the personal development process. We can express ourselves through colors, lines, poetry, having personal opinions or playing on a woodwind instrument with great passion...�

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Photographs: Guram Muradov

“I used art many times to get over the dark periods of my life. As soon as you look at yourself from a different angle, the problem becomes part of history.�

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25th PAGE

Zurab Chokheli

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I’m just a regular human being, who grows from the earth towards the sun, with hope to find a place in this world. And if I can achieve this, then I’ll help others to do the same thing.

In my world I stand in the blue darkness with hands up in the sky to collect all the good deeds that are waiting for me.

I’m a photojournalist and a person who has a passion for documentary.

Probably I’m the most regular and simple person. And at last I live to study.

EANA KORBEZASHVILI

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DOCUMENTARY

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EANA KORBEZASHVILI Photojournalist “We live for life“

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I can’t think of anyone who has never experienced depression. And if such a person still exists, that’s probably just another form of depression.

Of course I’m not a psychologist to diagnose someone. But there is one thing I can tell for sure, every human being expresses emotions in a different way. Also there is some kind of bond between us when it comes to the feeling during depression. –Pain, Absolut indifference towards life and losing respect for yourself.

When I started this photo project, I met people with different backgrounds. They were totally different from each other: some started to feel depressed after losing their loved ones, some of them aren’t able to find passion in their life. Some of them are terrified with their ability- to fight and fully express their personality. I learned a lot from them.

Depression- that’s us- people running from reality.

We are zombies slowly eating our brains. In reality everything is really simple. Sharing is crucial- we live for life, to be clear for a long and happy life.

We are the cure of our own depression.

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“I don’t know when and how I let this thing become a part of me…

Me being a human being connected with this thing…”

If you try to explain “depression” with medical terminology only doctors can make sense of it, but only in a theoretical way. I don’t see a different way to explain what’s happening inside me. There are so many things lying inside my body, so much pain, loneliness. Like sieve my body is covered with holes and I can’t hold on anything. I’m just drifting away…

And until I’m fully gone, probably I’ll do something, which can bring a change. Probably that’s why I said things about me being a human. I don’t know any other way to express my emotions and at the same time make sure, that it’s not something trivial or foolish.

In order to achieve this, one should be a poet.”

KETI NADIBAIDZE, 29

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“Very often you feel like nobody needs you, nobody cares about you.

Eventually I came to the conclusion that in the first place you have to live for yourself. It sounds little bit trivial, but that’s the truth. Exactly when you feel sick, have depression and look like hell nobody is interested in you.

I tried several times to kill myself. I had a feeling that I was ready for this and it really felt something like peace.

I felt it, but I was never able to actually do it.

Then it hit me and suddenly I realized that it was enough and I started to work on myself. I tried to feel better and makes those around me feel better as well, but I was never able to fully free myself from it. I don’t think meeting people and socializing with them is a solution. On the contrary I prefer to be lonely… music, books… or computer games- so to say, when you are living someone else’s life.

The most important part of being a human is to become capable of solving your own problems. I began to realize this after my last and “unsuccessful” try: it’s never going to end, there will always be negative moments, people never change, so you have to stop suffering and caring.”

ILIA KHUTSISHVILI, 32

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“Depression comes from feeling lonely, suddenly everything changes, everything’s upside down, this is the only thing I think about and my creativeness is going away. Soon I find myself in a transition stage. I find interesting topics and start exploring them. I draw or take pictures. In my life depression plays a huge role, it brings something new. I am not a type of person who cries and hugs pillows during depression.

There are people positively affected by depression. In such cases depression is a source of inspiration. I think we have to use each stage of our life in our favor. At this time you have to do everything that your gut tells you and everything that makes you feel better.”

DEMETRE DATIASHVILI,19

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“For me depression doesn’t mean posting a status on Facebook “feeling sad”. When you are depressed you feel empty or you are full of emotions and need to put everything in order. Depression means being alone with yourself. Because “you” is the only one, who can really help you the most.

You can only express your feelings through and with yourself. With coffee and cigarette in your hand. I prefer to put everything that I have, everything that I feel in writing, rather than sharing with friends. People perceive depression as negative phenomenon, but I believe it’s really helpful and necessary. At this time you ask many unanswered questions to yourself and begin searching for the answers.”

BUBA BEBOSHVILI, 19 39

WHY NOT MELANCHOLY Since we started with depression: Google.

Articles and personal blogs.

Medical findings.

Discussion.

Words that have become so familiar, they don’t even ignite compassion.

Interest- even more.

Devoid of purpose , emotionless, just like it’s meaning.

Irritating.

Something close to mental illness.

Best way to avoid doing things.

Unsatisfied interests.

Justified inaction.

In other words I “am” just.

You are calm, because believe there is nothing that you can do, you are satisfied, because your inaction is “legitimate”.

“Legitimizing inaction”.

The day of being free from your responsibilities.

Opening your umbrella can’t stop the rain.

Depression is just a reason. Melancholy- condition.

Looking for good reasons.

Comfort that feels like plastic.

I'm gonna stop wastin' my time Somebody else would have broken both of her arms.

Sad song. Sad song.

é

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GUEST

LEVAN KHERKHEULISZE Photographer

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PHOTOGRAPHY, WHICH REVEALS SOMETHING In my cases, my photography is perceived as burdensome and depressing. But I don’t tend to capture depression in my photography. And, personally I have never been depressed.

I mainly take pictures of two different conditions, which often are confused with depression: First one is loneliness caused by expression.

Loneliness lies in every human’s deep nature. It doesn’t matter who you are with or with whom you share your spiritual path, nobody can escape loneliness. And the second condition is when a person is in solitude with himself or herself, which by all means doesn’t mean feeling bad.

I’m just interested in capturing the emotions of this kind of people.

My photography in some ways can be seen as depressing, because I’m an introvert. Even through I’m generally very social and talkative, but on the other hand I’m very private and spend a lot of time on my own. Most of the time I’m busy with other people rather than them being busy with me.

I think depression helps people explore themselves. If you are able to do this, then you are in a better condition compared to others, because mostly depressed people don’t care about this. It’s really necessary to discover your passion and try to find positive side of every little thing happening in your life.

And again depression is mostly connected with negative things. For me this isn’t the case. I just have a long period of reflection. But too much thinking can also be harmful. Thinking and acting together is the best solution. My main negative side is too much thinking and less acting, but this is not a sign of depression.

When you look at my photography you can sense the element of mystery. This is just my opinion. This is an image of something that grabs you and takes you deeper and deeper.

According to my observation, people don’t like to stay alone with themselves and hear the truth about their actions. But when I look at my photography, the pictures I like the most are those revealing the secret nature of a person.

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Starting something new is a really hard process. Process starts with preparing enough arguments to begin, often because of heavy reasons it ends prematurely. Unfortunately many times I follow the flow of these processes. The fact that I can’t change anything I just leave it alone. But this condition doesn’t lasts for long.

Everything that I do, that I create, are at first for me: I fight everything that I don’t like. This is just how it is. Before starting “to think globally” I try to take care of my own “kitchen” first. It’s really hard to find a reason, especially when everything becomes irrelevant.

It’s important not to get used to this situation- when you fight it, you can find tons of reason to start something. If you think that there aren’t enough resources, you can’t change anything, or you just can’t find enough arguments you will never be able to achieve anything in your life.

To Start something is really hard so for me it’s really important to just start.

QETA GVINEPADZE

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CONCEPTUAL

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When you have depression you just lose track of time and you don’t realize that this situation is temporary. And if it’s temporary, then you can endure it.

Endure that fact, that you lose yourself.

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IN “THE BELL JAR” SYLVIA PLATH IN “THE BELL JAR”

like cookies in old canteen of our schools. It’s clean, but looks really soft because of sugar My friend, who loves Sylvia Plath, says that inside. It’s covered with clear paper. his second wife killed herself. He could be For me this is associated with curtains and the only one to know the history of Ted summer, cane I used to kill flies with and I Hughes wives. Probably his second wife also feel like throwing up. After many years, when suffocated by gas. This man is blessed and I finish my dance lesson and take my cursed all together. I’m talking to myself and dancing shoes off, sweet and really strong always remember this dialog after reading smell of sweat appears, which melts with the first page of “The Bell Jar”. I stop smell of tiredness, noise and antiquity. reading after finishing the third chapter; because I like the font, line spacing and The last smell of depression looks like a huge every other detail of the “third chapter”. ship. Or a multistory building in summer. You have to just stand outside and take a deep But I really don’t like Esther Greenwood. breath. You can also smell a cigarette and When I read about her, it becomes clear weird warmness coming from the TV. In that she is like me. My depression has no summer everything turns green. I’m standing boundaries. Sometimes I become Esther outside the open window.

Greenwood.

I’m saying that I have to return home.

As I continue to read I become more similar to her. I just can’t wait till I finish reading the WAYNE ROONEY AND SHOES ON THE WALL page to let all these terrible things go away.

Some books just have this absolutely awful Esther Greenwood says that killing yourself smell of depression and despair. isn’t the option, because sometimes you want to kill something that’s inside you. This If Sylvia Plath feels the same way as in “the has nothing to do with death, so when I feel Bell jar”, as an infant child in the jar, I always like killing myself, I just put my jacket on and think that I’m a 5 or 6 year old girl lying in the go out. I walk a lot. I choose someone and bed, changing my sides and trying to catch walk with him/her until the end of the city. In up with the giraffes, who are running the evenings I just like to write. I save upwards. documents on my laptop about people I see, remember and kill their stories here.

I can’t sleep until it’s early in the morning.

And when I save the document, I THE SMELL OF DEPRESSION remember that I don’t like Sylvia Plath. Also I don’t want to be Esther Greenwood, so take People who remember other people, the autobiography of Uin Rooney and episodes, days by smell will understand me. continue reading it. I just feel like him going It’s awful when you can’t do anything to a back to his home after the game. bad memory and you are stuck with it. If you try hard you can smell depression too. It’s He probably hangs his shoes on the wall.

TAKO POLADASHVILI

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2.0

SAMAD ISMAILZADE PHOTOGRAPHER

Boredom makes me more productive and creative. Photography is the best way for me to let everything go and feel better.

Bad mood affects my work- photos are showing minor tones. People who are always smiling and saying everything is fine, either are stupid or play their role well.

I don’t think of me as stupid, neither I need to play, so I let myself to be sad.

And when all the negative energy inside me awakens and I’m exhausted, I let cinematography do the magic. It’s clear that nothing is real and everything here is imaginary, but you can learn a lesson from their examples. When I have a problem, I just start thinking about people in a worse condition and let everything go away.

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#street #streetphotography #myproject #aztagram #baku #people #bakupeople #rome #street #italy #streetphotography #instagram #myproject

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In my photography I try to show the kind nature of people.

Human kindness is only the thing that can save the world from destroying. At first we have to be kind to ourselves- everything starts from here.

Even though at this time I become more productive, but I still prefer to undergo through a difficult period with myself. And then my brain starts to think of phrases like- “it’s too early to be a pessimist!” and “you aren’t only responsible for things that you already did, but also for those things which you haven’t done.”

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http://www.instagram.com/samad_ismailzadeh#

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Artistic vintage interior for artistic people and not only...

European and Georgian traditional kitchen, various jazz music Tbilisi, Georgia Leselidze, #2 Abesadze str., Phone: 032 293 36 51 https://www.facebook.com/Linville.Cafe

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FASHION

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TAMTA BARAMIA Fashion Designer

Inspiration “Depression“

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“I constantly work on myself to progress even further. In order to be called a designer you have to go through different stages and at least you have to know how to sew. I try to get all the latest information in this sphere.

I made the blue dress design and leather details. It became alive in my hands. It’s great when you can feel the form. When you are close to the form you get more ideas, you progress.

The more concentrated you are in this area, the more often you realize, that there is something missing. So that’s why I call myself a beginner designer.

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In this particular case my inspiration was depression. Depression has different stages. As it often happens, you fell inactive, emotionless, and experience discomfort.

Too much blue color can lead to depression. For me personally depression was a color. Leather flowers and leafs are across the waste and go up to the neck. Like depression, It creates total discomfort. Black leather details are black spots.

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Model: Nini Jgutashvili

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NEWBIE

GIGA TSIKARISHVILI Architect, newbie photographer.

DOT, WHICH IS MUCH LIKE THE WORD “REALITY”

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“Dream- I was in the middle of my room, inside the dot, which is much like the word “reality”. I felt pressure on my back and my legs started shaking. This is the only point from where I can see how walls get covered with moss” 89

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Waking up- with new, plain dreams‌

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Work- Routine of my life. When you

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u close your eyes your hands begin to journey in the tunnels of hades without your consent.

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Dream- Inside the walls, which are a reflection of my dreams, I cover nudity with silk‌

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Humans- He was looking deeper than usual to start a new life from the ashes. He wasn’t able

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e to see two other people looking at him during this process‌

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Hiding- I start “ex-stasis” and leave nudity- something impersonal…

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Traveling - Constant passion for mo

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oving from my static condition to a dynamic one, from something plain to something colorful‌

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Artificial sea- and I find the place, which is similar to me. “Se

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ea”, which can never create a storm, because it’s artificial…

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CINEMA

Photographer: Guram Muradov

DEDICATED TO ALL WOMEN...

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TO ALL ACTRESSES WHO HAVE PLAYED ACTRESSES...

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TO MEN WHO ACT AND BECOME WOMEN...

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TO ALL PEOPLE WHO WANT TO BECOME MOTHERS...

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TO MY MOTHER.

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THEATRE

“PSEUDOCYESIS” If you discover, if you discover, if you can discover that every day, every day, your every day life is just like yesterday, just like yesterday, was yesterday?

What are you going to do? Are you going to like your laptop? Do you like your laptop? Do you like your warm and fuzzy bed? What do you feel when you put your head on a warm pillow? Do you love your child?

What are you going to do if you find out that you are just a thing like other? If you’ll find out, what will you do when you see that there is nothing that you can do? From where are you planning to start? Will you change it? Are you sure to change it? I’m not sure.

Amen!

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Collage: Qeta Gvinepadze and Luka Chkhaidze

THEY EAT, THEY PRAY, THEY HAVE SEX.

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THEY PRAY, THEY HAVE SEX, THEY EAT.

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THEY HAVE SEX, THEY EAT, THEY PRAY.

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THEIR FRUIT NEVER MATURES.

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IT’S AN ILLUSION THAT COMPUTERS CAN’T TALK.

PREMIERE APRIL 25 Director: Luka Chkhaidze Music: SIKHA Painter: Barbara Aslamazishvili National pantomime theatre 124

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PHOTO REPORTAGE

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Manifestation in support of Ukraine.

At former parliament building fo Georgia.

February 21, Tbilisi.

Photographer: Guram Muradov

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Parish gathering at the Holy Trinity church in connection with opening the grave of Archimandrite Gabriel Urgebadze.

February 22, Tbilisi.

Photographer: George Bazaev 129

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Workers strike in Kazareti.

February 25.

Photographer: Eana Korbezashvili

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World dawn syndrom day.

March 21, Tbilisi.

Photographer: George GoGua

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Photographer: Eana Korbezashvili