Dazed and Confused (September/October 2008)

september – october, 2008 Newsstand Price CDN $4.95

DAZED AND CONFUSED? Get out of the “too-busy”danger zone 14

NOT THE END OF THE WORLD Losing your job is really hard, but help is at hand. 20

THOUGHT POLICE Basic freedoms under threat in Canada. 24

Discipleship Training

Unleashed Unleashed There is a growing crisis of integrity among Canadian men. Our homes, workplaces and even our churches are feeling the effect. Recent studies show that men make up less than 40 percent of adults in most churches, and 20 to 25 percent of married churchgoing women attend without their husbands.

How did a movement that began with twelve men lose the interest of men?

Promise Keepers Canada has created Discipleship Training Unleashed to help men make a lasting impact in the lives of other men.

What is Discipleship Training Unleashed?

Fulfilling one of the greatest needs in the church today, DTU is in-depth training for mature Christian men on how to be effective mentors. Participants will receive 100 hours of discipleship training and emerge prepared to be mentors to the men around them.

TO REGISTER OR FOR INFORMATION ON HOW TO BRING THIS EVENT TO YOUR COMMUNITY, CONTACT US AT:

1-888-901-9700 or info @ promisekeepers.ca www.pkelevation.ca

Mentoring Men to Leave No Man Behind Equipping Men to Mentor Men!

contents

september – october, 2008

on the cover

september – october, 2008 Newsstand Price CDN $4.95

14 Stay out of the “too busy” danger zone Dashboard gauges monitor health and balance in life.

Publisher: Brian Koldyk Managing Editor: Doug Koop Pulse Editor: Robert White

features

18 Cultures shift hits men hard New immigrants are often disenchanted adjusting to Canada.

20 “No one told me it would be like this” Losing a job or changing a career takes a dreadful toll on a man.

DAZED AND CONF

USED? Get out of the “too-bu sy”danger zone NOT THE END OF THE WORLD

Losing your job is really hard, but help is at hand.

26

THOUGHT POLIC E

Basic freedoms under threat in Canada.

34

24 Freedoms under fire

Advertising Account Executive: WILLIAM LEIGHTON: william@christianweek.org DARRELL FRIESEN: darrell@christianweek.org Unless otherwise indicated, neither ChristianWeek nor Promise Keepers Canada guarantee, warrant, or endorse any product, program, or service advertised.

Human Rights Commissions are gaining scary influence.

Canadian screenwriter steps into controversy.

Editorial Advisory Board RON HANNAH: Promise Keepers Canada KIRK GILES: Promise Keepers Canada JEFF STEARNS: Promise Keepers Canada PHIL WAGLER: Kingsfield SANDRA REIMER: Reimer Reason Communications DOUG KOOP: ChristianWeek

columns

departments

5 PK Podium

8-12 Pulse

The president of Promise Keepers talks about life balance.

Curious events. Interesting people. Good reads.

Distributed by Promise Keepers Canada 1295 North Service Road PO Box 40599 Burlington, ON L7P 4W1 (905) 331-1830 subscriptions@promisekeepers.ca Postmaster: Please send address changes to PO Box 40599, Burlington, ON L7P 4W1

6 Help Wanted My church leaders want me to be more active, but I’m already too busy. How can I get them to understand?

13 Reviews One good read recommends another.

26 Expelled

29 Out of My Depth Develop a balanced attack

ISSN 1916-8403 On the cover: Indigo Ink Studios iStockphoto.com

30 Power Play Tools, toys and technology.

33 Shape Up Take time to get fit.

32 Money Matters Give the gift of higher education

Editorial and Advertising Office 204-424 Logan Avenue Winnipeg, MB R3A 0R4 Phone: (204) 982-2060 (800) 263-6695

34 What Women Want

Achieving Waffle Balance in a Spaghetti World

admin@christianweek.org dkoop@christianweek.org Design: Indigo Ink Studios www.indigoinkstudios.com

SEVEN is a Christian magazine for Canadian men that exists to help men lead more fulfilling lives and leave enduring legacies.

The name reflects the seven promises that form the basis of the Promise Keepers organization, which works with churches to minister to men across Canada. one – A Promise Keeper is committed to honouring Jesus Christ through worship, prayer,

and obedience to God's word in the power of the Holy Spirit. two – A Promise Keeper is committed to pursuing vital relationships with a few other men, understanding that he needs brothers to help him keep his promises. three – A Promise Keeper is committed to practising spiritual, moral, ethical, and sexual purity.

four – A Promise Keeper is committed to building strong marriages and families through love, protection, and biblical values.

six – A Promise Keeper is committed to reaching beyond any racial and denominational barriers to demonstrate the power of biblical unity.

five – A Promise Keeper is committed to supporting the mission of the church by honouring and praying for his pastor, and by actively giving his time and resources.

seven – A Promise Keeper is committed to influencing his world, being obedient to the Great Commandment (see Mark 12:30-31) and the Great Commission (see Matt 28:19-20).

seven – issue two september–october 2008 page 3

Want your own copy of

SEVEN Magazine?

VISIT WiseChoices.ca OR CALL 1-888-901-9700

PK Podium

Better than balance “I find the doing of the will of God leaves me no time for disputing about His plans.”

— George Macdonald, Scottish writer.

by Ron Hannah My friend and I were standing in a line-up at a popular coffee spot telling each other how busy we were. Busy, busy, busy, everyone seems so busy. Work, kids, marriage, fitness, finances, etc., etc. seems to occupy more time than we have. Can you relate?

As we approached the order counter I thought I would close this conversation with the standard, “Well, it’s all about finding the proper balance, I suppose.” His quick response stopped me cold as he said: “I don’t think the Apostles had balance in their lives, they were totally dedicated to their calling.” Think about that for a moment!

When Jesus “called” his disciples to come and follow, I don’t recollect him saying, “Look, talk it over with your wife and pray about it, I’m only asking for a couple of hours a week.”

It was more like, you must be willing to sacrifice everything to come and follow me. Does that mean they walked away from all of their other responsibilities?

No, they still had families, jobs and all the other things that need to be tended to. But Jesus was making it very clear that following Him, learning from Him, sharing His teachings with others and proclaiming the Good News was now the major priority in their lives. Nothing could come before that in importance.

So, when it comes to faith, family, health, career and finances, where are your priorities? If you have been called to follow Him, I don’t believe anything has changed.

If He is not first in priority, the chances of finding any real balance in life will undoubtedly be futile. Building a solid

foundation on your faith is what puts all the other priorities in proper balance. Balance does not necessarily mean giving equal time to each area of priority, but it means giving your best time and effort to the first priority.

Get that right and guess what happens? The other priorities not only come into balance but you begin to see them and understand them with a whole new sense of clarity.

How do we make this happen? Start treating God’s Word as your spiritual daily food and prayer as your spiritual daily exercise. You don’t just eat once a day and you shouldn’t just study the Scriptures once a day. Does that mean I need to carry my Bible everywhere and read it every chance I get? Well, it doesn’t hurt to always have access to your Bible, but there are also great books, CDs and devotionals that can be used to help grow you in your faith walk.

Meanwhile, pray constantly—at home, in the shower, in the car, at work. God is always listening and there are different times for different prayers. Some require solitude and reflection; others are joyful and full of worship. Still others cry out for forgiveness and guidance. Breaking old habits and starting new ones is not easy, but if you really want balance and renewed purpose in your life, why not start today!

Ron Hannah is president of Promise Keepers Canada. His passion is to serve God and challenge men to be followers of Jesus Christ.

Before joining Promise Keepers in 1998, Ron was a marketing manager for Hershey Foods and vice-president at Duracell Canada.

He and his wife Joei reside in Burlington, Ontario, while his two sons, daughters-in-law and four grandchildren live in Winnipeg, Manitoba.

seven – issue two september–october 2008 page 5

Help wanted

Too busy? Don’t like reading?

Want good sex?

by Rod Wilson My job requires me to commute one hour each way to work. Many times, I do not get home until 7 or 8 in the evening. How do I help my church leaders understand why I don’t get involved in more activities at the church?

You have put into words a dilemma confronting most people who live in urban centers. There is simply not enough time to do everything we want to do, much less do everything that everyone else wants us to do!

Some of us work late at the office, not because we have to or are required to, but because we have trouble stopping.

It is similar to other addictions where you tell yourself you can stop if you want to but then never do! Now some of us are experiencing what is referred to as “disconnect anxiety,” where we experience various feelings of disorientation and nervousness as we anticipate being away from the Internet.

In cases where our work has replaced worship and play to such a degree that we have no quality time for family or church, our spouses, children and church leaders may not need more understanding of our work life but a greater freedom to confront us with our bad choices.

On the other hand, there are many churches where programs connected with the church are perceived to be the only way that real ministry can occur. As a result the message from the church is that “work” is not really ministry, has nothing to do with building the work of the Kingdom and is running a distant second when it comes to genuine spiritual engagement.

All of us, including church leaders, need to acknowledge that there is huge potential to see that what goes on in the classroom, factory, office, at home or in any other work arena as kingdom work.

Rather than make people feel guilty that they are not at particular programs, we need to expand our view of ministry and mission and affirm the value of all work as having sacred potential.

seven – issue two september–october 2008 page 6

I knew before we got married that my wife had been sexually abused when she was younger. I thought I would need to be sensitive about it. But it is really affecting our sex life. Other than never having sex again, what can I do to make things better?

The list of things we thought we knew about sex before we got married is long.

Many of us came into marriage with all kinds of expectations, ideas and beliefs about our sexual relationship that have had to be changed and modified through many years of experience.

One of the most important things to keep in mind when you are coping with historical sexual abuse is to remember that every individual is broken and frail.

Challenges in the sexual area are inevitable for all marriages. No couple goes through an entire marriage without struggles in this area, whether or not there has been previous abuse. Be careful not to link all your sexual challenges with your wife’s abuse.

It is easy for men to take the response of their wife personally in this area rather than recognize that sexual abuse impacts women emotionally as well as physically.

The abuse taught her to associate a sexual relationship with violence, negation and fear. Now the presence of any sexual contact brings up these issues again. The fear and anxiety she feels is not as much about you in the present as it is about the other person in the past.

There are three practical things that a husband can do in this situation. First, work on being patient and slow and do not turn every physical connection into something sexual and every sexual connection into intercourse. Second, go with your wife to a trained counsellor who will be able to coach you through your sexual relationship while understanding your wife’s sexual abuse. Third, support your wife in getting professional help for herself so she can move beyond the pain of her history.

I do not like to read, but I keep being told I need to read the Bible. How can I grow to know God’s Word?

You are off to a great start. While you recognize that you do not like to read you do know that you want to grow to know God’s Word. And like any growth, the first thing that is important is motivation.

People who are not motivated to grow do not grow. Also be encouraged that you are like those who lived in biblical times.

The vast majority of people who were exposed to the Scriptures were illiterate.

So the issue was not about whether they were motivated to read. They could not read.

When the church at Philippi got Paul’s letter they did not read it. It was read to them.

Contemporary technology also enables us to hear the Bible the way first-century people experienced it. Get some DVDs, MP3s or other form of media and listen to Scripture. Simply pause it when you need to meditate, pray or take notes.

Because the Bible is a substantive volume containing 66 books, there is a danger of thinking that you need to be reading a lot each time you sit down with Scripture. Start with a verse or paragraph and then move to a chapter. Especially for those who struggle with reading, realistic goals are crucial.

Reading and memorizing require motivation and intellectual capacity.

But the Psalmist (1:2) puts it in a new light— “his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night.”

As you work on your reading and memorization, don’t forget to delight and meditate. The Lord is more interested in a little Scripture making a significant impact on your life rather than how much or how well you read.

Rod Wilson is president of Regent College in Vancouver, where he also serves as professor of Counselling and Psychology. He is the author of How Do I Help a Hurting Friend: Practical Help for Leaders and Laypeople (BakerBooks, 2006).

Could you use some help? Don’t shy away from asking. Send your questions to dkoop@christianweek.org.

pulse

Curiousities. Personalities.

Ideas and Information.

by Robert White PULSE Editor

CHAPLAINS AROUND WHEN HEAT IS ON When Toronto Argonaut’s quarterback Kerry Joseph or offensive guard Jude St. John make a mistake (like throwing an interception or jumping offside), their fans— and critics—know all about it.

Besides the demands of a highly public career, Athletes in Action chaplains help Canadian Football League players face a

Chaplain forges football friendships: Dave Hudson(1) with Kerry Joseph.

variety of challenges, including “the same temptations any man is tempted with” says Argos’ chaplain Dave Hudson.

Hudson left a lengthy career as an orthopedic and pharmaceutical supplies salesman to join the chaplain ranks.

Moving from Florida two years ago, Hudson shadowed Steve Kearns last year as chaplains for both the Argos and the Hamilton Tiger-Cats. The pair split the duties for the 2008 season.

His years in sales prepared him to work with pro football players. Hudson suggests athletes’ giftedness and, sometimes, personalities are similar to the doctors he’d worked with. “You’re dealing with highly talented people and that can be challenging,” he says.

Hudson goes to every practice, holds weekly Bible studies and regular chapel services for both teams prior to each Argo home game. “It’s about building relationships,” he says. “My wife and I have players at the house and every two weeks we have a cookout at the practice facility.”

Seeing the players’ faith in action is

seven – issue two september–october 2008 page 8

rewarding to Hudson. During last season’s Eastern final between the Argos and Winnipeg Blue Bombers, Hudson thought, because of the game’s 1 p.m. start, the Bombers would go without an 8 a.m. chapel.

The night before, one of the Bombers called to say they still wanted one.

Hudson also sees faith in action off the field. Last fall, he took a few of the Argos to a basketball league in Toronto’s Jane and Finch area—one of the city’s roughest neighbourhoods—to talk to about 50 African-American Grade 6 to 8 youth.

“One of players, who grew up in Texas, related how his dad was a crackhead, how he decided not to be a crackhead and how he turned his life over to the Lord,” recalls Hudson. “It resonated with the kids.”

Hudson’s also there to help the players when pro sports’ demands become hard to bear. At the beginning of the season, quarterbacks Joseph and Michael Bishop were the topic of a media-made controversy about the starting quarterback position. And a two-game losing streak near the start of the season brought fan and media criticism.

“Most of them have been through this before, so being positive around them is part of my job, helping them find solace in God, themselves and their teammates,” says Hudson. “The press and fans react more anxiously than the players do.”

STUDENTS HAVE MORE, BUT UNSATISFYING SEX University students have more, but unsatisfying sex says a university professor looking into the link between sex and spirituality. Sex and the Soul is the result of Boston University’s Donna Freitas indepth study of the university sex culture and features many spicy and simultaneously sad stories of student sexuality.

Freitas asked students if their religious beliefs affected their sex lives. She discovered both sexual and spiritual

activities are increasing.

However, neither students nor universities are examining this conduct with any rigour.

“When it comes to religion and spirituality, most campuses seem to be failing miserably, barely attempting to create atmospheres where students feel welcome to pursue their big questions…This oversight has even bigger repercussions when it comes to sex, as student narratives demonstrate,” writes Freitas.

Almost two-thirds of the students Freitas surveyed weren’t comfortable with the sexual status quo, suffering “dashed hopes” or “mixed feelings” after a hook-up.

Students who described their most romantic experience rarely mentioned sex—instead describing after-dinner walks and talks or picnic dinners followed by a starlit boat ride.

“Students…are having lots of sex, but apparently, it’s not very romantic or very loving,” writes Freitas. (Institute of Marriage and Family Canada)

“Marketing is about felt needs.

You find the need and then you say Christianity will meet that need.

You have to adapt to people’s questions.

And if people are asking a question, you want to show how Jesus is the answer. But at a certain point, you have to go past their question to the other things that Christianity says. Otherwise you’re just scratching where they itch. So marketing is showing how Christianity meets the need, and I think the gospel is showing how Christianity is the truth.”

—Tim Keller, author of The Reason for God.

CANADIANS WEALTHIER AND HEALTHIER THAN AMERICANS

SEVEN QUESTIONS SKEPTICS ASK

According to Maclean’s magazine, Canadians are wealthier and healthier, work less and live longer than their counterparts in the United States: When you look at net worth—assets minus debt—Canadians come out on top with an average of $122,600 (all dollar figures are U.S.) compared to $93,100 for Americans—the result of smaller houses (2,000 versus 2,520 square feet) and smaller debt loads (an average of $23,460 compared to $40,250).

While our southern neighbours live the American dream, Canadians prefer to work less (35.6 hours a week versus 37.9), spend more time with family (40 per cent of Canadians have dinner with their family

How do you deal with questions and objections to faith that your friends may pose? Some questions may be intellectual smokescreens. Here are some short responses that might be useful.

Why is there evil and suffering?

God, though sovereign, gave us freedom to follow Him or to disobey Him. This response doesn’t answer all concerns but suggests the problem of evil isn’t as great an intellectual obstacle to belief as some imagine.

What about all the contradictions in the Bible? Ask your questioner for specific examples. Often people have none, but rely on hearsay. Omissions or differing accounts don’t necessarily create contradiction.

The Gospels never claim to be exhaustive records. Biographers must be selective.

The accounts seem complementary, not contradictory.

What about those who never hear of Jesus? God’s perfect love and justice far exceed our own. Whatever He decides will be loving and fair. C. S. Lewis in Mere Christianity wrote, “If you are worried about the people outside [of Christianity], the most unreasonable thing you can do is to remain outside yourself.”

How can Jesus be the only way to God? The logic to draw people to this position involves three questions: If God exists, could there be only one way to reach Him? This is a possibility.

Why consider Jesus as a candidate for that possible one way? His plan of rescuing humans through grace was distinct from those requiring works. Both could be false or either could be true, but both couldn’t be true.

Was Jesus’ plan true? Historical evidences for His resurrection, fulfilled prophecy, and deity and for the reliability of the New Testament are overwhelmingly extremely convincing.

every night while only 28 per cent of Americans do) and take more vacation time (16 days a year versus 11).

There are two categories where Americans top Canadians: marriages and religion. Out of 1,000 Americans older than 15, 40.7 will get married in the U.S., while only 22.2 will do so north of the border.

And 60 per cent of Americans say religion is important to them—only 28 per cent of Canadians do.

Still, fewer Canadians will divorce this year—10.6 per 1,000 versus 16.4.

And we’ll live longer. Canadian men and women have a life expectancy of 77.8 and 82.6 respectively—for American men and women it’s 75.2 and 80.4.

by Rusty Wright

Isn’t Christianity just a psychological crutch? Christianity claims to meet real human needs such as those for forgiveness, love, identity, and self-acceptance.

We might describe Jesus not as a crutch but an iron lung, essential for life itself.

I could never take the blind leap of faith that believing in Christ requires.

We exercise faith every day. Few understand everything about electricity or aerodynamics, but whenever we use electric lights or airplanes, we exercise faith—not blind faith, but faith based on evidence.

It doesn’t matter what you believe as long as you’re sincere. After discussing this, a respected psychologist told me, “I guess a person could be sincere in what he believed, but be sincerely wrong.” Faith is only as valid as its object and Jesus demonstrated by His life, death, and resurrection that He’s a worthy object for faith.

A version of this article first appeared in the March/April 2002 issue of Moody magazine. Copyright © 2002 Rusty Wright.

Used by permission. www.probe.org/Rusty

CELEBRATE, NOT BERATE, DADS! As he prepared his sermon for Father’s Day, Dave Ralph decided he needed to celebrate, not berate, dads. The senior pastor at Lakeside Church in Guelph, Ontario (a congregation with an average Sunday attendance of 2,000) took some time to reach this conclusion. “I was so desperate I even surfed back over some of the old talks I’d done on Fathers’ Days in the past,” he said. Comparing Mother’s and Father’s Days talks—which had been filed together—Ralph noticed a difference: some of the Father’s Day talks “were kind of negative. Most of them were somewhat challenging. The overall sentiment was this: ‘Dad, you’re not doing a great job, you need to pick up the pace, you need to do better, try harder, fly straighter.’”

seven – issue two september–october 2008 page 9

pulse

Ralph said it would have been easy to repeat that tone, giving a talk scolding dads and giving them a list of five things they could do better. Instead, he decided to set a new tone. “I want to simply affirm dads, applaud dads, encourage dads.” He did this by turning to I Thessalonians 2: 11, 12, a text Ralph describes as “one of the most positive pieces of Scripture when it comes to being a dad.

“Good dads,” says Ralph summarizing the verses, “come alongside their children and encourage, exhort, challenge, counsel and console them. They pick them up when they fall physically or emotionally. They gently correct them when they’re making choices that might be destructive and fully affirm them when they make wise choices.”

Ralph realized that “many, many dads at Lakeside” were alredy doing this. “We need to high-five you as dads for this, we need to say ‘great job…you’re making a difference.’”

If you don’t feel your job is a gift from God, the money you earn won’t keep you content for long. The euphoria experienced from a substantial pay increase or promotion soon fades, while the drudgery of a job that you don’t enjoy remains. If material abundance is our goal, it’s the wrong motivation.

—Rick Boxx

MAJORITY OF CANADIANS STILL BELIEVE IN A “GOD” More Canadians believe in a “god” than don’t, shows a Canadian Press Harris/Decima survey released in June: 72 per cent of Canadians believe, 23 per cent don’t and 6 per cent didn’t have an opinion either way.

Older women are more likely to be believers: 76 per cent of women versus 67 per cent of men and 82 per cent of people older than 50. Only 60 per cent of Canadians

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25 and under believed in a god. The survey also revealed English (73 per cent), rural (76 per cent) and Conservative (81 per cent) Canadians were more likely to believe in god than French (67 per cent), urbanites (69 per cent), Liberals (75 per cent) or NDPers (57 per cent).

“Most Canadians have a belief in a God, but secularism is also a strong influence in Canadian society,” says Bruce Anderson, Harris/Decima president. “Canada’s secularism stands in clearer distinction, when compared to the cultural and political influences of religion in the U.S. In one Harris Interactive study in the U.S., the number who said they were nonbelievers was only 8 per cent.”

“We don’t let them drink beer or go to R-rated movies. They’re not allowed to buy cigarettes— in some provinces they’re not even allowed to look at them in the corner store— yet we allow kids to roam more or less freely in cyberspace, where smut is just two clicks away” —“Shouldn’t we be fighting back?” in the June 30 issue of Maclean’s.

“Although it’s hard to quantify exactly what and how much online porn kids are looking at, a report from the London School of Economics found that nine out of 10 children between the ages of eight and 16 have viewed at least something that qualifies. According to a 2004 Columbia

University study, 25 per cent of 12- and 13-year-old-girls, and 37 per cent of boys the same age, say they have friends who regularly view and download Internet pornography.”

—“Guess who’s watching porn?” in the June 30 issue of Maclean’s.

LEARNING FROM DISAPPOINTMENT In The Beautiful Disappointment: Discovering Who You are Through the Trials of Life, Colin McCartney tells how his “busy, active and out-of-control life had to be shaken up before it could be rebuilt from the inner foundation of (his) soul.”

In the span of less than one year, the executive director of Toronto’s Urban Promise ministry faced the murder of one of his staff members and the death of an eight-year-old boy who was part of the ministry’s programs—incidents that left McCartney spiritually, emotionally and physically beaten.

And the sabbatical he then took wasn’t as restful as expected: a lifeshattering water accident left him temporarily paralyzed and permanently injured.

“We need to stop acting like we have everything under control, because life teaches us that we can control nothing,” writes McCartney.

“Sometimes we need help to recognize God’s presence in our lives…Life’s disappointments can often wake us up to our need for God and put an end to our vertigo of busyness…This is what happened to me…I began to experience this wonderful God who is always around me.”

Reading The Beautiful Disappointment

will challenge you to think about the “tragedies” in your life and whether or not you’ve begun to learn, as McCartney, that trials are really “beautiful disappointments” God can use to purge us of all the false things we’ve allowed to disfigure who we truly are.

LEARNING THE LESSONS OF A SOVEREIGN GOD A self-published book by a Canadian born has sold more than a million copies and is sitting at the top of the New York Times paperback trade fiction bestseller list.

In The Shack, William Young tells the story of Mackenzie Phillips, whose youngest daughter is abducted during a family vacation.

Eventually police find evidence of her brutal murder in an abandoned shack in the Oregon wilderness.

After getting what he thinks is a letter from God, Mack spends a weekend at the shack where he confronts his “great sadness” and meets God—three people including a likable young carpenter and a “big black woman” called Papa.

The novel, the character Papa in particular, has generated controversy.

A USA Today article quotes Albert Mohler, a leading Southern Baptist Convention theologian, who “trashes The Shack…calling it ‘deeply subversive,’ ‘scripturally incorrect’ and downright ‘dangerous.’” (Young reminds critics he’s a novelist, not a theologian.)

Theological enhancements aside, The Shack explores the timeless question: “Where is God in a world filled with

unspeakable pain?” Young’s answer— “There are millions of reasons to allow pain and hurt and suffering rather than to eradicate them, but most of those reasons can only be understood within each person’s story”—will make readers think about their own responses to suffering.

Young’s characters wade through the maze of pain, suffering, God’s will and God’s sovereignty with clarity and purpose: “Just because I work incredible good out of unspeakable tragedies doesn’t mean I orchestrate the tragedies. Don’t ever assume that my using something means I caused it or needed it to accomplish my purposes…Grace doesn’t depend on suffering to exist, but where there is suffering you will find grace in many facets and colors,” says Papa.

The Shack provides many theological insights while being a riveting novel with some unexpected turns. You may find your view on pain and suffering changed— perhaps even transformed.

NEW BOOK TAKES ON OLD LIE Richard Abanes, who specializes in the cults, the occult and pop culture, is taking on Oprah Winfrey’s latest pet project: Eckhart Tolle. Abanes’ new book A New Earth, An Old Deception, similar to his other books The Truth Behind the Da Vinci Code and Harry Potter, Narnia, and the Lord of the Rings, looks at the good and, mostly, the bad of Tolle.

In The New Earth, which has become Oprah’s new gospel, Tolle shows his readers “how [to transcend their] ego-based state of

consciousness.” A contemporary spiritual teacher who isn’t aligned with any particular religion or tradition Tolle cites a lie as old as Eden: “You do not become good by trying to be good, but by finding the goodness that is already within you and allowing that goodness to emerge.”

In A New Earth, An Old Deception, Abanes looks at the dangers behind Tolle’s #1 bestseller. A quick, but deep read, Abanes’ book lays bare Tolle’s teachings—and not all of them are wrong, writes Abanes. But that’s what creates problems. “His insightful comments, which resonate as true, lull readers that everything else he says is true,” writes Abanes (emphasis inthe original).

Abanes key criticism: how Tolle interprets the Bible. “A New Earth…promotes beliefs that contradict the Bible…Tolle’s teachings dismiss the most important foundational doctrines of the church!”

In each chapter, Abanes quotes Tolle’s beliefs, explains why they’re wrong and then gives the traditional historical interpretation.

Well-researched A New Earth, An Old Deception’s extensive footnotes and resources become a starting point for more in-depth individual research.

“It’s time for every Christian…to spiritually and mentally prepare themselves to respond to an unbiblical theology that represents a direct assault on the faith, especially in light of how it is being presented as a worldview consistent with Christian doctrine and values,” writes Abanes.

If you’re puzzled by Tolle, if your friends are reading Tolle, pick up a copy of Abanes’ book, A New Earth, An Old Deception, and get the answers.

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pulse

WORLD’S OLDEST CHURCH FOUND Archaeologists have found what may be the world’s oldest Christian church.

A cave beneath the St. Georgeous Church in northern Jordan may have been a place of Christian worship earlier than AD 70.

“We have evidence to believe this church sheltered the early Christians: the 70 disciples of Jesus Christ,” says archaeologist Abdul Qader Hussan, head of the Rihab Centre for Archaeological Studies. Many early Christians fled Jerusalem during a time of persecution to the northern part of Jordan.

They sought refuge in the underground cave until persecution passed and later built St. Georgeous Church.

TALKING CIRCLE HELPS NATIVES, NON-NATIVES DIALOGUE ABOUT MINISTRY Larry Wilson’s vision of “strong, healthy native churches across Canada” has had a good start through the first two Native Leaders Talking Circles. Last year, Wilson, director of the First Nations Alliance Churches of Canada, brought 20 aboriginal and non-aboriginal church and ministry leaders together (this year it was 60) to talk about how they could better minister in the aboriginal community.

Wilson describes this year’s meeting in Saskatoon, with its focus on leadership development, as “pretty awesome.”

One group of participants wants Wilson

to help develop something similar the Edmonton area, where there’s a number of ministries to aboriginals. Wilson’s left the event’s coordination to the group, but will help once it’s up and running.

Kirk Giles of Promise Keepers Canada took part in this year’s talking circle and wants to explore how Promise Keepers can be involved in ministry to aboriginals.

“The circle gave us the chance to build relationships with and learn from those already on the frontlines of reaching First Nations men,” says Giles. “We want to further develop relationships of cooperation together for the sake of bringing hope to men.”

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seven – issue two september–october 2008 page 12

reviews

Get your act together (and make a better world) THE JUGGLING ACT: BRINGING BALANCE TO YOUR FAITH, FAMILY AND WORK

By Pat Gelsinger ISBN: 9781434768742 Intel executive Pat Gelsinger is a highly committed businessman, family man and church elder. And he has a problem. “Working hard while prioritizing God and family is [a] juggling act,” he writes. “My wife and I have had more discussions about my schedule and the allocation and use of my time than anything else in our married life. On more than one occasion, these have developed into heated arguments.” In his own struggle with these issues, Gelsinger discovered several key principles that enable busy people to weather the urgent and still give proper time and place to the important. The Juggling Act details the author’s own story and lays out a road map to help others channel their energies into their priorities and get their busyness under control. The book will become available in October. P.S. Gelsinger’s wife, Linda, contributes the last chapter.

FAITH & FITNESS: DIET AND EXERCISE FOR A BETTER WORLD

By Tom P. Hafer ISBN: 9780806653310 This thoughtful little volume favours more simple ways of living and draws countless connections between body, soul and human community. Tom Hafer thinks personal wellbeing is a spiritual calling. Good nutrition and fitness habits, he says, lead to a “more fulfilling life of socially responsible Christian discipleship.” He begins with God, who loves the world deeply and has

provided all the nutrition a person needs for a healthy and full life. And the bodies God gave us, observes Hafer, actually get better and stronger with proper use.

The message is clear. When you treat your body and soul well, the whole world benefits. “Together we can respond to God’s call to be good stewards of our own health, our neighbours’ health, and the health of our planet.”

GOOD TO GREAT IN GOD’S EYES: TEN PRACTICES GREAT CHRISTIANS HAVE IN COMMON

By Chip Ingram ISBN: 9780801070525 This is a book about “practices,” things that you actually do. “God is not nearly as interested in your ability to learn truth as He is in your willingness to apply it,” writes Chip Ingram, who devotes a chapter to each of 10 great things to be doing.

They are: think great thoughts, read great books, pursue great people, dream great dreams, pray great prayers, take great risks, make great sacrifices, enjoy great moments, empower great people and develop great habits. Each chapter ends with a set of action steps and questions for further reflection and discussion. And, duh, Ingram strongly recommends that you actually do these things instead of just reading about them.

HOW TO HIT A CURVE BALL, GRILL THE PERFECT STEAK AND BECOME A REAL MAN: LEARNING WHAT OUR FATHERS NEVER TAUGHT US

By Stephen James and David Thomas ISBN: 9781414318622 This small (and very funny) book assumes men need an instruction manual for life and the authors aim to provide one.

They manage to address a host of serious issues that are common to men with a good sense of humour and a healthy dose of practicality. It’s mostly about the art of being a man, and that certainly requires both humour and practice. Along the way, we receive instructions on how to sink a free throw, love a woman, tie a tie, deliver a baby, throw a baseball, build a fire and more. The authors recommend you keep the book in the bathroom, “because that’s where most men do their reading.”

THE BAKER POCKET GUIDE TO WORLD RELIGIONS: WHAT EVERY CHRISTIAN NEEDS TO KNOW

By Gerald R. McDermott ISBN: 9780801071607 Only the most insulated Canadian can fail to notice that more and more people in our country are devoutly religious but decidedly not Christian. If only because the religions of the world are at home among us, we better know more about them. But where’s a fellow supposed to start. Most of us have a hard enough time clinging to a few concepts of the faith of our fathers. Gerald McDermott understands the problem and has provided a concise “overview of the most important beliefs (and some practices) of those who belong to the six most important nonChristian religions in the world.” (Pick up the book to find out what they are.) It also has a chapter on Christianity. Handy as a reference or easy to read straight through, this pocket guide will help readers better understand their world and their own faith. It also encourages a cooperative spirit and augurs for more effective Christian witness among people of other beliefs.

seven – issue two september–october 2008 page 13

features

Beyond the Balancing Act of Life

Indigo Ink Studios + iStockphoto.com

Dashboard check saves grief down the road

seven – issue two september–october 2008 page 14

by Steve Brown It happened quickly and I captured the instant out of the corner of my eye. I vividly recall the events of that autumn Saturday afternoon because it all too easily could have been me. As I raked and bagged up the last of the leaves in our yard, I gave a quick wave to my neighbour across the street. He was putting up his Christmas lights on what appeared to be the last mild day before the arrival of winter weather.

Then, my neighbour took “the forbidden step.” Initially, it must have made great sense. After all, he was only a few inches short of being able to hook the Christmas lights around the tree’s top branch, so how could standing on the top step of his ladder be a bad idea? After determining that the bold letters stating, “Not a Step/Do Not Step” were meant for lesser men, he moved to the top step. The top branch was now within easy reach.

There was, however, one remaining challenge—balance. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the ladder begin to tilt dangerously. Then my neighbour disappeared and I heard the sound of impact. I immediately dropped my rake and started across the street but stopped when I saw him jumping quickly to his feet.

As the only earthly witness to the spectacle, I quickly went back to my raking like nothing had happened to save my neighbour from also injuring his pride.

Though my neighbour and I have talked many times since that Saturday, we never discuss the ladder event.

But I know I learned an important lesson that day. For me, the challenge of trying to balance on the top step of a ladder is a powerful metaphor for everyday life.

With multiple roles in life, a 24/7 non-stop, rapidly changing and ever-faster society, we can very innocently and unintentionally take one step after another until we find ourselves overextended and gingerly trying to keep our balance on the tenuous “Do Not Step” top step of the life ladder.

Dashboard check While my neighbour knowingly looked at and ignored the “Do Not Step” sign on his ladder, we often don’t have much warning that we are approaching danger, what I call the “red zone.” In fact, “being busy” is generally expected, encouraged and rewarded. In part, we may also correctly rationalize that “this is just an intense season or stage of life,” or that perfect balance in this life is just impossible.

There is, however, a very helpful tool that we can use to self-evaluate our life balance— the dashboard. A car is a fairly complex and interconnected machine, but the driver can quickly glance at the dashboard gauges for a quick and simple check on the car’s health. If a yellow or red warning light comes on, you can choose to cover it over with duct tape and ignore it. Or investigate the potential problem. In the same way, you can quickly and regularly use four dashboard gauges to evaluate your health and balance in life.

As you review each of the four gauges on your life dashboard, you can give each one of three readings: green for healthy, yellow for early warning sign or red for imminent problem. Here are the four life dashboard gauges: Gauge 1—External.

This gauge measures our external activity through our efforts at work, church, home, in our community and beyond. Since we are “God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do” (Ephesians 2:10), each of us, regardless of profession or life stage, has a significant contribution to make.

For many men, the most common balance problem related to the external gauge is that we consider this the only indicator that really matters. This is often rooted in good intentions—a desire to provide, or to achieve significant success

“In a rapidly changing and ever-faster society, we can very innocently and unintentionally take one step after another until we find ourselves overextended.”

seven – issue two september–october 2008 page 15

features

or impact. However, a very destructive danger subtly but powerfully comes when external activities become the foundation for our identity and value. In other words, we see our identity and value primarily through our position, successes or the eyes of others. Unfortunately, if we get unbalanced in this area, the consequences often have dramatic negative impact well beyond ourselves.

Gauge 2—Relational.

The relational gauge measures the quality of our personal relationships, such as with our spouse, children, extended family, close friends, our neighbours and community. One key warning sign for this gauge is what Lewis Grant calls “sunset fatigue.” In his book, The Life You’ve Always Wanted, John Ortberg describes sunset

fatigue as “when we come home at the end of the day’s work, those who need our love the most, those to whom we are most committed, end up getting the leftovers. Sunset fatigue is when we are just too tired, or too drained, or too preoccupied, to love the people to whom we have made the deepest promises.”

Gauge 3—Internal.

The internal gauge measures areas like our character, emotional stability, energy level and physical self-care.

Breaking character and emotional stability down into more precise terms, we can evaluate whether we are growing in integrity, purity and humility or if patience, peace, kindness and fun are evident in our lives. Energy level is often self-evident and physical self-care is looking at how well we

Three practical tools to help you live with more balance and impact: Remember Your True Identity.

One of the major drivers of imbalance in life is a distorted view of our identity and value. Many people allow the unreasonable expectations of self or others to drive them far beyond God’s expectations.

Os Guinness’ words in The Call remind us, “Our primary calling as followers of Christ is by Him, to Him and for Him. First and foremost, we are called to Someone (God), not to something or to somewhere.”

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Develop a Personal Vision Statement.

A personal vision statement identifies and spells out our personal priorities, values and intended direction or purpose in life.

Rather than living life in a reactive day-to-day approach, a personal vision statement seeks to bring focus, intentionality and a proactive approach to our daily lives. You can use your personal vision statement as a compass for life decisions and as a filter for saying “no” or moving away from things that distract us from what is really important. You can start by simply setting aside a couple of hours, asking God for guidance and then writing out some words, phrases or sentences that describe your life desires for each of the four life gauges: external, relational, internal, and spiritual. Over time you can refine your words for each dimension and invite some input from trusted people in your life.

Plan Ahead.

One common contributor to imbalance is a reactive approach to planning and scheduling. Instead of letting events that come up determine your schedule, it is important to be proactive in scheduling your known priorities at least three to six months or even a year in advance. Whether you are using a dollar store monthly day timer or a PDA, this practice will help you ensure priorities and reduce imbalance.

take care of ourselves through regular exercise and proper nutrition.

When we start to move significantly out of balance in life, the internal area of our lives is often vulnerable to some cyclical challenges. For instance, in times where we are overextending ourselves we may sleep less or feel fatigue more often. This can lead to a “shorter fuse” with more critical words or even anger. We can also neglect exercise and nutrition, which leads to fatigue or in the long-term to physical health problems.

The temptation toward temporary “escape” through unhealthy indulgences and even immoral behaviour also becomes more common and intense.

Gauge 4—Spiritual.

Wherever we are on our faith journey, and whether we acknowledge it or not, we were created by God. Moreover, He deeply

loves us and desires an intimate, vibrant and on-going relationship with us.

The spiritual gauge looks at whether we are seeking and seeing growth in this important area of our lives. While the practices of church involvement and spiritual disciplines are very important, this gauge helps to evaluate if we are growing in the big three of love, faith and hope.

Unlike the “God first, family second, work third” approach that seeks to compartmentalize our lives into separate and unconnected areas, this gauge reminds us that God desires to be central in all aspects of our lives.

Despite our best intentions and practical strategies, we will still regularly find ourselves in moments or even seasons where it feels like we are precariously perched on the “Do Not Step” top step of the ladder. The good news for followers of Christ is that despite all the

change and turmoil around us, we can ultimately seek and find internal balance by trusting the One whose “yoke is easy and burden is light.”

Dr. Steve Brown lives in Abbotsford, BC with his wife Lea and three children and serves as Vice-President – Program with Arrow Leadership.

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seven – issue two september–october 2008 page 17

features

CULTURE SHIFT HITS MEN HARD

MANY IMMIGRANTS, ESPECIALLY MEN, ARE DISILLUSIONED WHEN THEY REACH CANADA

by Joe Couto Growing up in Fidel Castro’s Cuba, Ev Alarcon envisioned Canada as the American Wild West—wide-open spaces teeming with opportunity and freedoms for a family fleeing a totalitarian system of government.

After years of struggling to leave Cuba with his wife and parents, Alarcon went to Costa Rica before immigrating to Canada in 1982. Luckily for him, his father’s work for Pan Am Airlines exposed Alarcon to North American culture, so the shock of his new, colder country wasn’t as great as it might be for other immigrants. What he wasn’t prepared for was how Canada’s public sector reminded him of Cuba’s bureaucracy.

“I thought Canada was a free country.

But I found that it is heavily regulated and over-governed,” laments Alarcon.

Many immigrants to Canada, especially men, must deal with such disillusionments when they reach Canada. The pressure to conform to Canadian ways of raising a family, personal and social behavior, and fluctuating moral standards can leave many newcomers frustrated and bewildered.

Tony Bertin, coordinator of Centennial College’s First Generation Student Project in Toronto, deals with many men who come to him seeking advice and help with their language, math and other skills. He sees many men struggle to find meaningful employment in a land where foreign educational credentials and experience are not accepted and often take “survival jobs”—low paying, often manual employment—to support their families.

“Men find that their education, skills, and past experience are often not recognized here,” notes Bertin. “They have issues with language and the ability to communicate fluently. Add to that the lack of family or community support and we can see the challenges they face.”

According to a study released by Statistics Canada in 2007, Canadian immigrants struggle to find work in the

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first decade after they arrive.

The unemployment rate for men in Canada less than five years is 10.3 percent, more than double the national average. Data from the 2006 Canadian census also shows that recent immigrant men with university degrees earn just 48 cents for every dollar earned by Canadians compared to the 77 percent such immigrants earned in 1980.

It takes newcomers an estimated 15 years to catch up to their Canadian-born neighbours.

The pressure put on men to simply survive during the first 10 years often results in serious family stresses.

Many of the challenges are cultural in nature. For example, immigrant men who are used to clearly-defined male-female roles and child rearing practices experience conflict both within the family and in their interaction with educators and other authorities.

Cuban-born Alarcon, for example, was stunned during an interview with his son Ryan’s Grade 2 teacher that Canadian educators in the early 1990s did not seem to care much for student outcomes and academic expectations. During the interview, he asked how he could help ensure his son achieved what was expected of him in school only to be told that this was “the old way” and that students in Canada had “no expectations” to meet standards for high marks. Whether or not the teacher’s response reflected the education system’s student outcomes objectives was irrelevant to Alarcon. To an engineer trained in Cuba’s demanding education system where marks determined how well your family faired, the teacher’s attitude was unfathomable to him. The family eventually pulled Ryan from the public education system and sacrificed to give him a private school education (Ryan is now an engineer working in Fort McMurray, Alberta.)

Second generation It’s not just first generation males who face challenges fitting into Canadian society.

In 1966, at age 18 months, Atul Sharma came to Canada with his parents from India.

The family quickly settled in Ottawa and then New Brunswick, where Sharma’s economist father integrated himself among his professional colleagues.

Like many second-generation Canadians, Sharma benefited from his parent’s strong emphasis on education. Eventually, he graduated from the University of Western Ontario as an economist and today is a highly respected consultant in Toronto with one of the world’s largest public relations firms.

Like many other newcomers to Canada, Sharma says his parents wanted their son to “be Canadian” and enrolled him in typical Canadian activities such as skating and skiing. “It is harder for the first generation to adapt because of a lack of community,” says Sharma. But over the last few decades, as 80 per cent of all immigrants to Canada came from non-European countries, social supports have improved since his parents came to Canada. For example, the number of mosques and Hindu temples serving immigrants from the Indian sub-continent in the Greater Toronto Area and Ottawa has increased dramatically over the past two decades.

Rev. Dr. Connie DenBok, pastor at Toronto’s Alderwood United Church, has worked as both a minister and church planter and seen the struggles of immigrant men upclose. “In the South Asian and up close African communities, many men left prestigious or well-paying jobs and lose that status when they come to Canada.

They face frequent job changes and bouts of unemployment,” she says. “We see a pattern where they are working continuously trying to get ahead, or if they’re unemployed or underemployed, they hang out with their buddies and are rarely home.”

Home is a tough place as immigrant kids are being “de-cultured at school and don’t treat dad with proper deference,” observes

Design Pics

DenBok. Often, men feel that they’ve “lost face” as the breadwinner of the household whether or not their wife brings in an income.

This exacerbates tensions, as wives may not be home to do domestic chores to former standards. Domestic violence can be a real but underreported reality. According to denBok, the second generation tends to carry the mantle of their parents’ sacrifice and is generally driven to succeed— especially males.

Ironically, as Canada becomes more and more secular, churches are playing a big part in helping men and their families settle here, says denBok. Church groups tend to be one of the first places newcomers turn to for help for housing, employment or help with basic services. It’s also one of the prime areas where men can display their leadership skills. “Obviously it’s a self-selecting group, but many of the [immigrant] guys I’ve known

have been great leaders in their church,” says denBok. “It’s one place where their gifts can be used and recognized and they can be part of a multi-generational community— if their kids aren’t trying to escape the cultural ghetto.”

Research indicates that newcomers tend to quickly develop a strong sense of belonging to Canada. A study released in March 2007 by the Dominion Institute showed that 88 per cent of secondgeneration Canadians and 81 per cent of first-generation immigrants felt a strong connection to Canada, compared to 79 per cent of the general population.

However, when it comes to visible minorities, the attachment is weaker. A study released in January 2007 by the Montreal-based Institute for Research on Public Policy concluded that visible minority immigrants are slower to integrate into Canadian society than their

White, European counterparts and feel less Canadian, particularly males.

If this is true, Canadians will need to consider whether Canada continues to be a model of integration or sees some of the social disruptions that have plagued Europe where marginalized, mainly young males have rioted, most notably in France.

New immigrant dads may not be the ones freezing in hockey arenas clutching Tim Horton’s coffee like their Canadian-born counterparts and may scratch their heads with greater frequency when dealing with Canadian teenage angst, but their growing numbers and diversity will mean that this portion of Canada’s population will continue to be an important part of the Canadian mosaic.

Joe Couto is a freelance writer from Toronto, Ontario. He can be reached at jcouto@rogers.com.

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features

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“I wasn’t planning to change jobs just now”

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by Doug Koop Andrew’s firing took him by surprise.

On the job less than a year, he thought he had made the necessary adjustments a couple of months after his supervisor expressed some concerns about his work.

But the boss thought otherwise and presented him with a letter to read.

“Until the final sentence I didn’t know what was happening,” he says. “It was totally unexpected.”

Looking back on that experience, Andrew summons the word “shock” to describe what he felt when he was first let go. “Physiologically, shock channels blood away from your limbs, concentrating it in your torso to make sure the vital organs are okay,” he explains. “Everything seems to be alright even if your mind knows it isn’t.

But after a while you start to feel the coldness in your limbs.”

Shock is a good word, agrees Don, who was not nearly so surprised when he got his walking papers earlier this year. The 46-year-old regional manager had been working harder than ever and falling further behind.

Company demands were increasing and no extra resources were forthcoming.

Although Don no longer really enjoyed his work, he kept hard at it out of responsibility and habit. Still, his dismissal came as quite a blow. “I’d been with the company 24 years.

As I was processing what happened, I kept thinking how much I gave to the company— give, give and give some more.

Yes, I was really disappointed, but mostly because I wasn’t given an opportunity to correct things.”

Don and Andrew are just two of the tens of thousands of Canadian men who will lose

their jobs this year. For many, personal performance in the workplace has little or nothing to do with the fact they’ll soon be out of a job. The problem is particularly acute in Ontario, where manufacturing jobs—especially in the auto industry— are disappearing in a hurry. Meanwhile, countless professionals and middle managers also face job transitions due to cutbacks deemed necessary by bureaucratic bloat, volatility in the marketplace or any of a host of other factors.

Eight years ago, Richard Innes went through two rounds of job loss before launching his own business in Burlington, Ontario. Today the marketing and communications executive coordinates

Richard Innes John Wiseman

In Transition, a church-based ministry that helps unemployed people rebound from their setbacks and navigate a return to the workforce. “Many people will lose their jobs for one reason or another,” says Innes. “That’s the reality. Very few of the participants in our program lost their job for poor performance. Downsizing happens all the time, and job loss carries less stigma than it used to.”

Nonetheless, job loss hits hard at all levels. It is deeply disruptive regardless of whether a person has held a position just

a short time or for years. It affects a man’s sense of self-esteem, threatens his role as provider and often causes him to question his very identity.

One of the first questions he faces is how to break the news to his family and friends.

Andrew, 26, was planning his wedding when his pink slip arrived and was initially afraid to share his shock with his fiancée.

“I didn’t tell her for two days,” he recalls.

“We were already going through serious times over our own problems.” But her response both surprised and encouraged him. “She thought it was funny,” he says.

“One of the things that got me through that time is that she really believed in me.

She trusted, listened and was optimistic.

She didn’t let me just feel sorry for myself.

She reminded me of greater things coming, that there are other great opportunities out there.”

Don also found support at home when he was initially hit with a one-week suspension. “I got my news first thing on a Friday morning.

I had to leave my Blackberry and Don Miller computer at the office and gave them all my passwords.”

He thought about calling his wife right away, but decided not to while she was at work.

“I intended to tell her at the first appropriate moment.” But fate intervened.

“She e-mailed me from her work and got an auto-reply saying I’d be out of the office for a week and thought I must be headed out of town again. When she came home, she thought I’d be packing to go. I told her what happened. She was shocked, and more upset with the company than I was.”

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Being candid with the spouse is important, and friends provide a vital support system as well. Andrew had a few in his circle he could vent with.

“It’s good to have a couple of people who are understanding, but not totally understanding,” he says with wry wisdom.

If they had been entirely sympathetic, they wouldn’t be so able to help him move along.

Moving along is, of course, necessary.

But it rarely happens immediately.

Don spent the first little while catching up on sleep. “I hadn’t realized how run down I’d gotten, didn’t realize how much the constant stress and pressure of the daily grind had hurt my system. I just really rested for a long time before I could get back to being myself.” He also got involved with a project at his church that kept him productive and busy and didn’t add stress.

“It was good to get to know my pastor better.

He became my second wife,” he laughs.

But he wasn’t eager to go back to work immediately. “I questioned whether I wanted to stay in the industry I was in.

I had been thinking about getting away from the company because I was giving so much time and energy and getting behind.

God was leading. He opened one door about two months prior and I didn’t step through it.

I’d contemplated a job offer but hadn’t taken action. The biggest part is the fear of change.

I wasn’t totally happy where I was, but I was comfortable. Two months later God pushed me out of the door.”

Don has found another place to work and is much happier now. “My relationship with my wife is better. We spend more time together. She said that me losing my job means she got her husband back.”

He feels fortunate. “I had good support.

I shared a lot with my wife and with my pastor. I talked to a good friend, a former boss. Having people I could talk to was important. They listened. My friend could really relate to my job situation.”

What did he learn? “To trust that the Lord will provide,” replies Don. “It’s important to surround yourself with family and friends, and remember there are other jobs out there.

No job is that important. For years my job was part of my identity, key to who I was. Now it’s not that important.”

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John Wiseman echoes those ideas as he describes how he served for more than 20 years as a pastor and chaplain and recently changed his career track entirely.

Today he works as a recruitment specialist in Calgary, linking qualified engineers from all over the world with jobs in the Alberta oil patch. But he’s been through several rough patches of his own, including the 18 months it took him to find a satisfying new job and a new career that, ironically, is providing a whole new platform for his true calling.

“Most men place a lot of their identity in their occupation,” he says. “The first question we ask someone we meet is ‘what do you do?’ Our culture affirms that identity is wrapped up in work.” But the former pastor points out that the apostle Paul said, “for me to live is Christ.” Not, “for me to live is to be the best tent maker.”

Job transition certainly puts that theology to the test. “It’s a terrifying time, but also a rich time,” says John, who endured an 18-month ordeal living hand-to-mouth and depending on the grace of friends. “No one knows how it will work out, but it was a real opportunity for me to think about who I am, what I’m really like and what I want to do.

The challenge is to move from the pain of job transition to something you can do better.

“I enjoyed the pastorate, but I’m really enjoying my new situation,” he says.

Certainly the money is better, but he is grateful for all the opportunities for ministry that continue to come his way. “Now lots of people talk to me who would never talk to a pastor,” he explains. “In recruitment you’re basically a pastor. You’re dealing with people in transition, often unsettled domestically.”

Pastoral skills really help. “I’d lost my job, but my identity in Christ remained and is now functioning in a new context.”

Finding that new context to exercise personal skills and gifts is the job transition challenge. It took Don only a couple of months to be in a happy place, while John struggled mightily for nearly two years. Andrew continues to soldier through uncertainty.

This is the time when groups like the In Transition ministry at Chartwell Church in Oakville can help. Job seekers need to manage the emotional baggage of job

loss and move forward. Many need help with résumé writing or developing presentation skills. Job seekers need to treat the work of finding their next position as a full-time job on its own. They need to work their networks. “Only 20-30 percent of jobs are found on Internet. Most are found by knowing somebody,” observes Innes.

“Ultimately,” he continues, “we need to recognize that a job is a job and there are more important things in life. God’s timing is bizarre and the journey can be frustrating.

You may wonder where God is in this process. But every person is called to be faithful, to be focused on God. The job thing is secondary.”

Doug Koop is editorial director of ChristianWeek and managing editor of SEVEN.

Tips for workers in transition 1. Leave well. Get a fair and just settlement, which probably means getting legal advice. You have a right to negotiate, especially in firing and downsizing situations. Don’t negotiate yourself. Most firms want people to leave well.

2. Secure an outplacement. A good outplacement firm provides training, résumé assistance and professional counselling on career change. It also teaches networking skills. Previously only for professionals, outplacement is becoming more available at other employment levels.

3. Develop a personal network.

Everyone knows people. Cultivate those relationships. Most placements are serendipitous. Somebody knows somebody. Pick people’s brains.

Ask them how they built their career.

Many people are hired based entirely on a reference, not the résumé.

Work your networks. Follow the leads.

4. Present a good résumé. Make sure it’s professional looking and accurate.

Don’t inflate accomplishments or degrees.

That’s deadly in the market. Target your résumé to the particular job you’re seeking. Research the company and its needs. Highlight in your background the things that connect with their needs.

— John Wiseman

Volks Wagon

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moving your ideas across

seven – issue two september–october 2008 page 23

features

Farewell to freedom

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When your neighbour was ruined by "human rights" commission, where were you?

Many Canadians have long believed that religious freedom is one of our core values.

In Canada, however, it effectively ended years ago. The key cause is the growing power of human rights commissions.

There are 14 such commissions in Canada—one for each province and territory, plus the federal Canadian Human Rights Commission. Most Commissions were founded in the 1970s to deal with job or housing discrimination. Today they assert their authority over religious teachings, media, and even— most recently —late night comics’ jokes. As Jewish Canadian civil rights lawyer and publisher Ezra Levant has noted, the accused are disproportionately white, male Christians.

Traditional safeguards do not restrain the Commissions. Because they are supposedly “remedial” institutions, they need not follow strict legal procedures or grant traditional rights to the accused. Their power to punish ideas that they consider “likely to expose a person or persons to hatred or contempt.”

seven – issue two september–october 2008 page 24

goes well beyond a normal court, beyond anything that most Canadians could imagine.

Truth, fair comment, and good intent, are not defenses, as they would be under defamation law. The Commissions are not limited to jurisdiction by region, so complainants can shop for a tribunal likely to convict. The taxpayer pays complainants’ expenses. But the accused must fund their own expenses. Legal bills run up for years, as cases drag on with no statutory limit. Evidence can be woefully flimsy. The result can be the loss of a home, a business or savings. Because the final tally of destruction takes a number of years, as Levant likes to say, “the process is the punishment” whether the accused is convicted or cleared. His own case has dragged on two years, engaging 15 Alberta civil servants and costing him tens of thousands of dollars.

“Remedies” for the complainant are bizarre as well as costly. A commissioner demanded that Calgary pastor Stephen

Boissoin apologize for stating a traditional Christian position on homosexual activity, pay a large sum to a party who was not in fact injured and never raise the subject again. In other words, a lifetime speech ban.

When I wrote “Velvet Oppression” for Christianity Today in 2001, I was clear about the direction of religious freedom in Canada.

For example, Hedy Fry, Canada’s secretary of state for multiculturalism and the status of women, had already publicly denounced Canadian Alliance party head Stockwell Day’s belief that “Jesus Christ is the God of the whole universe” as “an insult to every Muslim, Buddhist, Sikh—everybody else who believes in other religions.”

Similarly, the Human Rights Commission fined Diane Haskett, mayor of London, Ontario, $5,000 because she refused to declare a Gay Pride day in the mid-1990s, though she had stated her opposition to civic “days” in general. Haskett left the country.

But I did not expect such a rapid, and largely unremarked decline.

by Denyse O'Leary In recent cases, the commissions have targeted as “perpetrators” of anti-gay bias, among others, Boissoin and traditionalist priests like Father de Valk of Catholic Insight magazine, for maintaining traditional Christian teachings about homosexuality.

In 2005, a chapter of the B.C. Knights of Columbus had to pay $2,000 in damages to a lesbian couple—even though the tribunal ruled that they were within their rights to refuse to rent a hall for their wedding reception. Space does not permit the mention of many others.

• Alan Borovoy, the civil rights lawyer who helped found the commissions, has now turned against them. But, perhaps emboldened by unexpected support from the present minority Conservative government, the Commissions have expanded their unstructured mandate and gone after more prominent targets: • Ezra Levant, publisher of the Western Standard, for publishing a series of controversial cartoons about the Muslim prophet Mohammed; • Mark Steyn and Maclean’s magazine for publishing Steyn’s article on (among other things) the fact that Muslims have more children than post-Christians—and the social implications we may expect.

• Bruce MacKinnon, Halifax ChronicleHerald cartoonist, for a jihad-related cartoon; • Comedian Guy Earle was charged when he responded to lesbian hecklers at a late night comedy club in Vancouver.

In general, human rights commissions are a parallel legal system that operates with minimal restrictions—a common feature of authoritarian societies. There is hardly a field of human activity in which they could not target “offenders” where they choose.

Ontario, for example, has considerably beefed up its system. The cap on damages for pain and suffering has recently been eliminated and new hearing rooms opened across the province. A new class of lawyers has apparently been created.

One outcome of the commissions targeting media has been limited information from traditional sources about their activities. Critical information is now disseminated through the blogosphere and on YouTube. Most of the “Freespeechers,” who lead the fight for restoring traditional law to media, are blogger journalists. Ezra Levant videotaped his interrogation and posted it on YouTube. Hundreds of thousands of people have already watched it.

The commissions have responded by dropping some of the most egregious charges. The Canadian HRC dropped the Steyn-Maclean’s case (though as of this writing the B.C. Tribunal has not ruled).

The Catholic Insight case against Father de Valk was dropped, with $20,000 in legal bills to pay. As Levant points out, “The process is the punishment,” and that can mean death to a small magazine, especially if hit with repeated violations.

One “cartoons” complainant dropped his case against Levant, but another Muslim group in Edmonton has picked it up.

Meanwhile, perhaps emboldened because bloggers highlighted his case, Boissoin has appealed to the Court of Queen’s Bench in Alberta against his lifetime sentence of silence.

Most seasoned observers do not consider these developments simply positive. The commissions are free to resume their activities against anonymous citizens once the furor around high-profile accuseds dies.

The single biggest challenge is one that astonishes American observers—the apparent indifference of most Canadian Christians to the individuals who are targeted, even though so many of them are Christians. Indeed, bittersweet for me now is my American Christianity Today editors’ optimistic 2001 assessment; “Evangelical Christians in Canada, stunned as their conservative theological views were used against them in last year’s bitterly partisan national political campaign, are

determined to reclaim their legitimacy in Canadian public life.”

I knew that nothing like that would happen—and it didn’t. Individuals continue to be crushed silently. Evangelical pundits actually encouraged their flock to make use of the tribunals, to get a bit of their own back, cementing the tribunals’ unaccountable authority. The church press was conflicted, and therefore largely silent. Canadian evangelicals congratulated themselves that we have a better way than the American “religious right.”

Yet help arose from another quarter.

Syed Soharwardy, a Sufi Muslim, was horrified to discover that a man he deeply admired, Bishop Fred Henry of Calgary, had been dragged through the Alberta commission because he insisted on proclaiming the traditional teachings of the Catholic Church on sexuality. Soharwardy has since withdrawn his complaint against Levant about the Mohammed cartoons.

In a statement issued July 11, 2008, he told Catholic friend Pete Vere for Soo Today: “In listening to the experiences of Bishop Henry and Pastor Boissoin, I realized how precious religious freedom is to our country and how easily freedom is lost.” He was reassured by the discovery that most Christians were welcoming to him and asked only for religious freedom. He went on to say, “This experience has taught me that we can only end violence when we respect the freedom of all Canadians.”

The minority Conservative government in Ottawa, headed by Stephen Harper who identifies himself as a Christian, has supported commissions throughout.

Perhaps his government gambled rightly that indifference or tacit support represents the true stance of the Christian community today.

Deborah Gyapong of the Parliamentary Press Gallery points out that things were actually collapsing faster under the previous Liberal administrations, though it had not become obvious then. continues on page 32

seven – issue two september–october 2008 page 25

features

Expelled dismissed Abbotsford screenwriter's Expelled gets a failing grade from critics

Photo courtesy Kevin Miller

seven – issue two september–october 2008 page 26

by Robert White Kevin Miller’s Grade 12 paper on the origins of life started the Canadian screenwriter down a “long and winding road” to his work on a documentary that’s being critically panned on both sides of the border.

Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed has been generating controversy since it hit movie screens in the United States in April.

This isn’t surprising, if only because it explores a very contentious topic. Scientists and philosophers are running afoul of the scientific establishment because of their belief in Intelligent Design and seeing their careers ruined and reputations destroyed.

This is survival of the fittest, and this documentary makes liberals look illiberal.

The film, which is hosted and co-written by well-known television personality, actor and former U.S. presidential speechwriter Ben Stein, aims more for impact than for nuance. Indeed, some of the people interviewed in the documentary claim they were mislead by the producers.

Richard Dawkins, an aggressive atheist and author of The God Delusion, and P.Z. Myers, a public critic of Intelligent Design, for example, both say they were told they were being interviewed for a film looking at the intersection of science and religion.

Expelled even managed to tick off Yoko Ono, who sued the producers for copyright infringement for using about 15 seconds of John Lennon’s “Imagine.” A judge later upheld the producers’ claim of “fair use.”

Meanwhile, proponents of both Intelligent Design and Darwinism continue to use Expelled to either prop up or tear down their own or each other’s arguments.

Miller time So, what does this have to do with a 37-year-old screenwriter who hails originally from Foam Lake, Saskatchewan, and now lives in Abbotsford, British Columbia? In his role as writer, Miller helped to conceptualize and outline the film, write interview questions, figure out who to interview and scout shooting locations. This included a trip to the Berlin Wall, which becomes the documentary’s primary theme.

In the post-production phase Miller took 200 hours of film and helped cull it down to four hours of material, which the producers and editors pared down to 90 minutes.

“There was a point where I was no longer involved, so there were a few things in voiceover that were a surprise to me,” says Miller of the final product. “The overall cut of film fairly closely matches the outline.”

While the Intelligent Design debate is not nearly so heated in Canada as it is in the U.S., Miller says, “every major newspaper in Canada slammed the film.” Consider what The Toronto Star had to say: “Don’t expect any serious debate here about God and evolution. This documentary is like watching a paranoiac making fun of a hysteric.” Or the National Post: “Expelled has some apparent design; evidence of its intelligence is harder to come by.”

Or this parody on the 10 Commandments from The Globe and Mail: “10. Then the Lord looked upon Ben Stein’s work and declared: ‘Though I am a loving God, quite frankly, Ben, this film is an appallingly unscrupulous example of hack propaganda and it sucketh mightily. What’s more, I didn’t laugh once.’”

Nevertheless, Expelled opened in the U.S. Top 10 and has already climbed to number 12 on the list of top grossing documentaries of all time.

How does the father of four—sons Huw (7) and Zep (3) and daughters Gretchen (6) and six-month-old Lark—react to the criticism? He deflects it, observing that much of the response to Expelled is simply the clashing of ideologies. Rarely is the movie being reviewed on its own merits, he says. Many of the critics simply repeat one of the objections to Intelligent Design made in the film: that it’s a Trojan horse for fundamentalists and creationists.

“The problem becomes when people insinuate nefarious motivations behind Intelligent Design. I coined a phrase for these: strongly held but ill-informed beliefs.

I’m not afraid of criticism because it make us sharp and strong,” says Miller. “But critics who have no idea are frustrating. It’s like peeling back the first layer of onion—there’s nothing there.”

“Proponents of both Intelligent Design and Darwinism continue to use Expelled to either prop up or tear down their own or each other’s arguments.”

The DVD version of Expelled is slated for release across North America in October.

Robert White is editor of ChristianWeek Ontario and prepares the PULSE department for SEVEN.

seven – issue two september–october 2008 page 27

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s

Out of my depth

A balanced attack Consider the blameless, observe the upright

by Phil Wagler I’m coaching baseball. Teaching 10-year-old boys the difference between force plays and tagging up is an agonizing art. It really is like herding cats. Then there’s the fine line between patience at the plate and swinging away. Our only hope of winning these days is if our pitchers toss a shutout and we score a run with a bases loaded walk.

Putting good pitching and timely hitting together in the same game has happened with about the regularity of Haley’s comet and the Cubs winning the World Series.

We desperately need a balanced attack.

I’m observing something in the men around me. Beneath the polished veneer of casual greetings and conversations about gas prices and the weather runs a tightrope over troubled waters. We live with the tension between what we have and don’t have; who we know and don’t know; what we do and don’t do; who we are and who we wish we’d be. Many of us don’t know whether we’re coming or going, where we’re headed, or who we are. We sometimes hit, sometimes throw strikes, and often feel like we’ve dropped the ball. We desperately need a balanced attack.

I coach boys to become men, not just hitters and fielders. But, they already seem torn and tossed about, small versions of their tattered dads sitting in the stands.

They are over-the-top self-conscious, critical, seemingly bearing the weight of the world on their boney shoulders. A culture tells them million-dollar contracts rest on the next pitch; that they must own the latest tech-toy or movie; that they should be what everyone else expects them to be. Their souls are cluttered and busy beyond belief; they lack peace. They have no concept of

wholeness, of that ancient biblical notion of shalom.

A man of shalom who can find?

Shalom is a beautiful old Hebrew word translated “peace” in English Bibles.

But, it doesn’t just mean peace as in no shots being fired or that glorious moment just after the kids go to bed. Shalom means completeness, well-rounded happiness, soul rested-ness; prosperity from the depths. It is what we secretly yearn for.

Convinced we must experience a piece of everything, we are not leading the next generation (or ourselves) into peace at all.

It is the stillness of the batter’s box from which life can explode into action.

Shalom is the source of the balanced attack.

And shalom is a gift received from God when we cease our striving; when we surrender; when we heed his ways; when we believe.

If the boys we coach and put to bed grow up to be like us, what will their futures look like? The prospects are rather unnerving.

The future is beginning to look like an ADHD, fast food, credit card, celebrity-driven unstable mishmash.

If we—I’m talking to the big guys now— are men not bound by faith to the Ancient of Days and the Prince of Peace, we have no shalom. Without this sure footing we have nothing but the frantic chaos and tensions of the world and ourselves to offer those boys with bats on their shoulders and

the world at their disposal.

Convinced we must experience a piece of everything, we are not leading the next generation (or ourselves) into peace at all.

We avoid the wells of the Spirit where we must wrestle with our own darkness, our own inner tensions, imbalances, complexities and sin. Consequently, we never find the source of true joy, freedom, forgiveness, brotherhood and hope. If we are to have a balanced attack we simply must go to these peace-filled depths.

Without shalom our vision is blurred.

We look at the proud man, the loud man, the crowd man and he looks so balanced.

He always seems to hit home runs and throw strikes. He seems destined for fame and fortune. But, look more closely.

Think more biblically.

I have seen a wicked and ruthless man flourishing like a green tree…but he soon passed away and was no more…Consider the blameless, observe the upright; there is a future for a man of peace/shalom (Psalm 37:35-37).

A man of peace you can find. A boy of shalom can rise from your influence.

Wholeness, rest and peace can be had, but you can’t buy it or strive after it. You have to surrender your way into it.

You might even need to strike out a few times. But, having found God’s wholeness— even the hard way—you will finally know and coach a balanced attack.

Phil Wagler is a son, husband, father, pastor and author living in rural southwestern Ontario.

seven – issue two september–october 2008 page 29

power play

Great games. Great toys.

Great gadgets.

Reviews by Sandy McMurray

POWERSQUID www.powersquid.com One look at PowerSquid is all it takes.

You slap your forehead and think, “Of course! Why didn’t I think of that?”

Silly man. All your life you’ve been using power bars and extension cords that don’t accommodate the oddball plugs and “wall warts” that come with modern electronics.

PowerSquid separates each plug from its neighbours, leaving plenty of room to connect any size plug and adapter to one of the grounded tentacles. At night, the red power switch glows in the dark like a single baleful eye.

The name alone is worth the price of admission. Buy a PowerSquid and introduce it to your family in the time-honoured traditional way: burst into the house, holding the PowerSquid aloft and shouting, “PowerSquid!”

FLIP ULTRA VIDEO CAMERA www.theflip.com Hands up, everyone who dreads these three words: “Get the camera.” Now imagine a video camera that’s fun and easy to use and doesn’t cost an arm and a leg.

The Flip Ultra is a delightfully simple point and shoot digital video camera.

It’s small and light enough to fit in a shirt pocket, but powerful enough to capture video on par with more expensive cameras.

It features one-touch recording, a digital zoom lens and instant playback and delete.

The Flip Ultra can save up to 60 minutes of digital video on internal memory—no tapes or disks required. Best of all it doesn’t require any professional skill to shoot good video—you just point and shoot (or give it to your kids and invite THEM to point and shoot). You can review and delete unwanted videos as you go, leaving more room for new shots.

seven – issue two september–october 2008 page 30

When you’re ready to share and edit your videos, press a button on the side of the camera to reveal the built-in USB connector. You can share your Flip videos right away on any TV, using a standard red-white-yellow composite video cable (included). Built-in video editing software makes it easy to view and edit the videos you capture. You can even capture still pictures from your videos, and share them via e-mail.

Unlike many gadgets, the Flip Ultra camera is a pleasure to use. It’s suitable for shooting everything from family gatherings to YouTube diaries. Check it out. You might even have fun.

MARSHMALLOW ASSAULT RIFLE www.thinkgeek.com As summer days slip away and fall approaches, young men begin to think about church retreats. Specifically, they wonder how they will be able to soak each other with squirt guns and water balloons if the weather is really cold. The solution is simple and sweet, and goes by the name Marshmallow Assault Rifle. This is the confectionery weapon to end all confectionery weapons. The top barrel can fire a marshmallow up to 20 feet. The bottom barrel shoots mini marshmallows, so you have covering fire when it’s time to reload. Use with care to avoid getting into a sticky situation.

Remember that leftover ammunition can be roasted and eaten at campfire.

FIRE FORK www.leevalley.com Speaking of campfires, here’s another ingenious tool that I wish I had invented. The FireFork is a

stainless steel wire that turns any stick into a campfire cook tool. The sprung design helps the FireFork to grip the stick, and the double prongs provide a more stable cookies surface than the traditional coat hanger. The compact design is great for camping. When not in use, the FireFork slips into a secure cover that protects your pockets from poking.

HARMONY UNIVERSAL REMOTE www.logitech.com Throughout history, men have tried to harness the power of small electronic devices. Most men claim to be in control but have a vast collection of remote controls cluttering up the living room (or worse, lost in the couch). We secretly crave the one device that remains an elusive dream: a truly universal remote control.

The Harmony line of remotes from Logitech represents the current state of the art in universal remotes. The Harmony 890, for example, offers “powerful complete control of your home entertainment system” via wireless signals blasted from a single device. Harmony remotes connect to a database via the Internet to find the codes needed to order your electronic world.

After setup, you can put away all the other remotes and focus on using the Ultimate Universal Remote instead.

One remote to rule them all?

What’s the catch? Just the price.

The Harmony 890 retails for about $500, and the Harmony 1000, with touch screen and support for up to 15 devices, costs $600. You’re still considering it, aren’t you?

What a guy.

TICKET TO RIDE

LEAF BAG RING

www.boardgames.ca Tired of Monopoly, Risk and Rook?

All aboard for Ticket to Ride!

Released in 2004, Ticket to Ride is an award-winning board game with a railway theme.

www.leevalley.com/ As summer gives way to autumn, we dig out the rakes and prepare for the annual battle with falling leaves. Unless you’re lucky enough to have a teenager in the house—a teenager willing to do yard work—you will soon find yourself on the lawn, rake in hand, wrestling with paper bags.

The scene is like something out of a slapstick comedy: you gather the leaves into a pile then set the rake aside and try to stuff the leaves into paper bags. A small breeze is all that’s needed to make the bag tip over or collapse inward. Cue the heroic music, and enter the unexpected low tech solution. The leaf bag ring fits snugly inside the bag, holding the top open so you can stuff the bag with leaves. Whether the bag

Players collect and redeem matching train cards to claim the historic railway routes that first connected North American cities.

The longer the route, the more points you earn. Bonus points are awarded when players achieve the objectives printed on special Destination Cards. A special bonus goes to the player who builds the longest continuous railway. Two to five players can complete a game in about an hour. If you’re old enough to read, you’re old enough to play. The rules are simple but there’s enough strategy to challenge veteran gamers.

is filled in its standing position or laid down and raked into, this simple tool will make your job much easier.

Sandy McMurray writes about gadgets and games for SEVEN. His web site is TechStuff.ca

PINNACLE VIDEO TRANSFER www.pinnaclesys.com If you have ever wanted to capture video without using a PC, this gadget is for you.

Pinnacle Video Transfer offers one-touch recording from any video source including TV, DVD player, PVR, camcorder, set-top box, game consoles and more. Saved video is captured in high quality MPEG-4 H.265 format. It can be exported to a variety of formats and devices including iPods, PSPs, hard drive and flash memory sticks. Plug in, press play, record the video, unplug and you’ve got video to go, all without using a PC.

seven – issue two september–october 2008 page 31

money matters

Education is a vital gift Here's how you can afford it for your children

by Paul Emerton The most valuable things we offer our children—honesty, respect, and love of God—cost nothing. Other qualities involve a major expenditure, and the largest may be the opportunity to attend a top-flight college or university. Without financial assistance, our children may have to forego post-secondary education or assume the debilitating burden of a student loan.

We may want to give the gift of higher education, but how can we afford it?

Education for children or grandchildren is an investment and, like all investments, the sooner you commit, the greater your reward. This may be difficult to grasp when you are dealing with mortgage payments and all the expenses of a growing family.

It can be done, however, with help from the federal government, qualified investment advice and a little planning.

Start by opening a Registered Education Savings Plan (RESP). An RESP is a good way to save for your children’s education.

Contributions to the plan are invested and earnings from these investments are tax-free until applied to the child’s education, when they are taxed on the student’s return. Since a student’s anticipated income will be nil or very low, the income tax will be negligible.

An RESP is different from an RRSP. Unlike an RRSP, you cannot deduct RESP contributions from your taxable income.

However, The federal government may increase the contributions via a Canada

Education Savings Grant (CESG) and a Canada Learning Bond (CLB). (Residents of Alberta may be eligible for an Alberta Centennial Education Savings Grant.)

Depending on the family net income, CESG will add 40 per cent of the first $500 of your annual RESP contribution and 20 per cent on the next $2,000 (the maximum annual contribution eligible for CESG is $2,500). If you contribute $200 monthly, this could generate almost $600 in additional contributions each year. A CLB will provide up to $2,000 to assist modestincome families for children born after December 31, 2003.

Grandparents and family friends may open their own plan. You can open an RESP for a grandchild, niece or nephew, or any child you wish to assist in obtaining a college or university education by naming them as the beneficiary.

The RESP growth depends on your investment decisions. An RESP should be considered an investment, not a savings plan. Two important elements to maximize the growth of your RRSP are an early start and professional investment advice.

Example: a $2,500 contribution made to an RESP on the day your child is born, increased to $3,100 with a CESG contribution and averaging 8 per cent annual return, could grow to more than $10,000 by the child’s 21st birthday!

You may contribute a maximum of $ 50,000 to an RESP, which must be

collapsed within 35 years.

What happens if the child rejects postsecondary education? First, wait a while to see if he or she decides to pursue studies later. If that isn’t likely to happen, you can transfer the plan to a brother or sister who chooses to attend college or university, transfer the money to your RRSP or withdraw your contributions tax-free. Investment earnings are subject to income tax; CESG and CLB contributions must be returned to the federal government.

Get started. Begin with a SIN and a telephone call. The child must have a Social Insurance Number. For information on obtaining a SIN call 1-800-OCANADA (1-800-622-6232) or visit a local Service Canada centre. After the child is assigned a SIN, an investment counsellor will assist in choosing the best available plan and applying for government support.

A study by the University of British Columbia estimated that university graduates often double their lifetime income compared with high school graduates. Higher education also enables us to think clearly and critically about the world, inoculating us against propaganda while teaching tolerance and understanding.

All of these qualities contribute to our role as worthy citizens in God’s world.

Paul Emerton is a certified financial planner and a senior training specialist with FaithLife Financial.

Farewell to freedom continued from page 25 What does the future hold?

Levant, who has devoted much time to studying the commissions in the years since he himself was charged, notes, “If things continue, you’ll see an increase in the prosecution (I’d say persecution) of political dissidents. That will tend to mean whites, Christians, conservative, and increasingly, Jews.” At the federal CHRC, under the “hate speech” section (Section 13), 100 per cent of the targets have been white; the vast majority poor (91 per cent have not had enough money to hire lawyers).

Currently, opposition to the commissions is found largely among Catholic, Muslim seven – issue two september–october 2008 page 32

and Jewish journalists and commentators.

Increasingly, also, among secular artists, such as the 40 comics, led by Guy Earle, who organized a laugh rally against the Commissions in Toronto for July 19, 2008.

Some journalists, such as David Warren of the Ottawa Citizen, have stated that they will go to jail rather than be intimidated by a human rights commission.

Levant advises concerned citizens to learn about the commissions’ activities and write to legislators, as well as to newspapers, television, and radio. Make sure, in other words, that they know that you know your fellow citizens’ fate; that you will raise the

problem at every opportunity.

The alternative is to be a cog in the social engineers’ wheel. The choice is ours, while we have one.

Journalist Denyse O’Leary (www.designorchance.com) is the author of

By Design or by Chance? (Augsburg Fortress 2004), an overview of the intelligent design controversy and co-author, with Montreal neuroscientist Mario Beauregard, of The Spiritual Brain: A neuroscientist’s case for the existence of the soul (Harper 2007).

department

SHAPE UP

by Todd Llewys Nutrition: Eat regularly for increased energy and efficiency (and a trimmer waist) Everyone seems to live life at warp speed today. You know the routine: get up, shower, get dressed and maybe have time to slam back a cup of coffee before running out to the car to make the commute to the office.

Then, it’s a full day of work that leaves you little or no time to eat well. In fact, many guys have no breakfast and a lunch that consists of potato chips, a banana (there’s the health food) and a coke. By the time you get home, you’re ballistically hungry so you hammer back half a pizza and four breadsticks or five pieces of fried chicken and way too many fries (plus another coke).

Research consistently shows that irregular eating habits and bingeing on less-than-healthy food is harmful to your health. Yet, most guys find themselves caught in this nasty cycle. “So, what can I do?” you ask.

Eat three square meals a day, that’s what!

Start with a good breakfast, which might mean having a coffee, muffin and banana, cereal and toast, or a combination thereof.

Eating breakfast, say the experts, jump starts your body and gives you the fuel you need to get off to an energetic start.

That energy will help you stay sharp— and productive—until lunchtime.

Next, pack a lunch (don’t eat out!).

Try bringing a chicken or cheese sandwich and some sort of fruit (maybe an apple) and juice. That’s a quick, easy and reasonably nutritious lunch you can eat at your desk.

When you get home with two decent meals under your belt, the tendency to eat a huge dinner will be greatly reduced. Instead of ordering pizza, prepare a simple but nutritious dinner (chicken, beef or fish with potatoes, noodles or oven-baked fries).

The payoff? Increased energy and focus— and a trimmer waistline.

Mental Side: Discipline is the key to Fitness: Work those muscles! improved fitness Ever wondered why you have an Top players in every major sport have one increasingly difficult time doing the things thing in common: a routine that comes from you used to do without breaking a sweat having a strong mental focus. For example, when you were 20? Simple: as most guys Tiger Woods goes through the same routine get older, they’re less active and do fewer every time regardless of the shot; Roger weight-bearing activities. You rarely play Federer bounces the ball five times before hockey, football, baseball or basketball he hits a serve. And so on. anymore. Lifting a handful of chips or a Most men want to have a life that’s can of pop to your lips does not qualify routine, yet we don’t like routines. Maybe as exercise. What’s more, the weights you admitting to having a “routine” (we fear) used until you hit your mid-to-late 20s are makes us look anal, or overzealous. So while gathering dust in the basement (exactly countless guys have an all-Sunday footballwhere, you’re not sure). watching routine Even if you’re (which is permissible), not big on lifting they don’t have a routine weights, you “The guys who are fit that’s of far greater can keep your have made the mental value: a fitness routine. muscles toned commitment to work at it.”

All a fitness routine without requires is making a becoming mental commitment a bulked-up to scheduling the time musclehead. to do some form of exercise. Just 30 minutes One way is by using toning bands. What are a day of moderate exercise will keep your they? Well, take a minute to head over to the body in decent working order. So even fitness section in your local Wal-Mart (yes, if you’re not into hardcore fitness, there they actually have one, and it’s not bad). are lots of things you can do to be kind to For around $10, you’ll find a box containing your body. two toning bands (actually rubberized How about taking your wife and kids to surgical tubing) with foam handles to the tennis court to bang the ball around for provide a good grip. There’s even an half an hour or 45 minutes? You can even go instruction sheet with exercises for both for a bike ride, brisk walk, swim, shoot some upper and lower body. hoops or throw the football around in the In case the toning bands don’t seem front yard. Or, how about joining the boys macho enough for you, you should know for a weekly game of pick-up hockey that countless professional athletes, male outdoors once winter hits? and female, use them in their workout Truth is, the guys who are fit have made routines. Simply start off with a few minutes the mental commitment to work at it. The key doing the sugggested exercises while you is to find an activity that you, or you and your watch TV, or whenever you can grab five or wife and/or family enjoy. The more you enjoy 10 minutes. Again, research shows that a the activity, the less it will seem like work. good 15 to 20-minute resistance or weight Then, make it a habit to do that activity on workout ramps up the metabolism, enabling a regular basis. All it takes is mental you to burn calories well after you’ve discipline to make that commitment. finished.

Once you form that healthy habit, you’ll Over time, you’ll increase the tone in have gotten into a routine, and a healthy your muscles, and maybe even be inspired one at that. to start doing the things you did when, well, you were 30. All it takes is a little effort.

Once you see—and feel—the results, you’ll Todd Llewys is a Winnipeg-based sports writer never want to go back to doing nothing. and fitness enthusiast.

seven – issue two september–october 2008 page 33

What women want

Achieving Waffle Balance in a Spaghetti World

by Sheila Wray Gregoire

It is commonly acknowledged that women bawl at movies. Remember Sleepless in Seattle, when Tom Hanks’ character teams up with his brother-in-law to mock women’s reactions to An Affair to Remember? “What about The Dirty Dozen?” they cry, pretending to well up. “And Trini Lopez, how he busted his neck when he was parachuting down behind the Nazi lines!” Hanks sobs, as his friend whips out the hanky.

Despite the fake histrionics, women know that men secretly weep at movies, too.

I recently read a list compiled by The Sports Blawger of the 25 most tear-inducing guy flicks. They’re all definitely Kleenex worthy.

There’s Old Yeller, the classic boy and his dog tale; or Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King, depicting the struggle to persevere; or Saving Private Ryan, with its final haunting question, “Did I earn this sacrifice?” All of these movies aim at the heart of men’s values: relationships, integrity, and purpose. And we women love it when you cry.

We’re just really crabby when you stop.

You’ve proven you have a sensitive side, so we think you’ll finally take Johnny out and throw the ball around, or maybe pick up that phone and call your mother, instead of leaving it to us. But instead you’re back riding your lawn mower, and the movie is forgotten.

There really is something to that “Men are like waffles, women are like spaghetti” thing. Men, like waffles, are compartmentalized. You live your life in separate boxes. You watch the movie, you cry, and then you switch to something new. To women, everything is intertwined.

Hockey legend Paul Henderson, when he speaks at marriage conferences, relates the

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story of a rip-roaring fight he and his wife Eleanor once had. They were arguing in the living room, when Eleanor made the mistake of retreating into the bedroom. He followed her, and his hands began to wander. She swatted them away. “What are you doing?!

We’re fighting!” And he retorted, “We were in the fighting room. Now we’re in the sex room. I thought we had moved on!”

This compartmentalization makes women really nervous, especially when it comes to navigating the work/family balance. We’re afraid you’ll start to see it exactly that way, and think that when you’re at work, you work, and when you’re at home, you don’t. After all, we work wherever we are. We write grocery lists on sticky notes while we’re on the phone with clients, and we drive kids to soccer while we plan our next meeting. We want you to work in the family, too. But that work can’t just involve things like mowing the grass or fixing stuff.

It has to involve relationships.

We don’t want you to leave important things like disciplining children or liaising with the school principal to us, just because we’re spaghetti people and we’re constantly thinking about these issues anyway.

We need your input. And, given men’s teary responses to father-son movies like Frequency or The Big Fish, you have a deep-seated need to connect, too.

Two hundred years ago, finding balance between family responsibilities and work responsibilities wouldn’t have been an issue. The family all toiled together, with the children labouring alongside the parents, so most of the fathering tasks were thus accomplished “at work.”

They weren’t in two separate spheres.

Today they are, and it’s easy to believe that work, which involves measurable goals

and specific tasks, is more akin to waffle people than home is, which involves things like communicating and feeling and relating.

Perhaps, though, home does not have to be a pasta sphere. God’s priorities for family life lend themselves to waffle skills, too. Think about it this way. At work you likely plan. You need to know where the firm is going, and when your next salary increase will be. You compile charts and lists.

Why not do the same thing on the home front? What do you want your family to look like in five years? Where do you want to be spiritually? What values do you want your children to exhibit? What about your marriage? Now, are you on the right road to meet those goals? If not, what are you going to change?

We’re at the beginning of a new school year, and if you want to start it well, and make your wife smile in the process, here’s my advice. Take her out to dinner, notebook in hand, and do some strategic planning and praying with her. Show her that you want your family to reflect your values, but you have your own way of accomplishing this. Then go home and watch Old Yeller.

And bring a hanky.

Sheila is the author of several books, including Honey, I Don’t Have a Headache Tonight: Help for women who want to feel more in the mood.

Together with her husband Keith, she speaks at FamilyLife Canada marriage conferences around the country. She can be found at www.SheilaWrayGregoire, or at her home in Belleville, ON, with her husband and two daughters.

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