Money: How much is enough? (January/February 2009)

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contents

january – february, 2009

on the cover 20 Advocate of the simple way Shane Claiborne gains acclaim for counter-cultural message. It’s the gospel truth.

Publisher: Brian Koldyk Managing Editor: Doug Koop Pulse Editor: Robert White

features 14 Money: How much is enough?

How to avoid a limitless love for wealth.

Advertising Account Executives: WILLIAM LEIGHTON: william@christianweek.org DARRELL FRIESEN: darrell@christianweek.org JIM HICKS: jhicks@christianweek.org Unless otherwise indicated, neither ChristianWeek nor Promise Keepers Canada guarantee, warrant, or endorse any product, program, or service advertised.

18 Put money in its place Gerry Bowler takes a lighter look at a serious subject.

22 Profile: Victor Thomas Youthful Regina entrepreneur pursues business calling.

Editorial Advisory Board RON HANNAH: Promise Keepers Canada KIRK GILES: Promise Keepers Canada JEFF STEARNS: Promise Keepers Canada PHIL WAGLER: Kingsfield SANDRA REIMER: Reimer Reason Communications DOUG KOOP: ChristianWeek

24 Hippie days are here again Volkswagen plays the nostalgia card.

26

St. Valentine’s Day primer

Take a lesson from some men who learned the hard way. columns

departments

5 PK Podium

8-11 Pulse

Money, money, money

Curious events. Interesting people. Good ideas.

6 Help Wanted Spend. Save. Give. Endure.

29 Out of My Depth God knows how much is enough, and He will provide it.

32 Money Matters Control your credit card balance.

34 What Women Want And the two shall share one wallet.

13 Reviews One good read recommends another.

Distributed by Promise Keepers Canada 1295 North Service Road PO Box 40599 Burlington, ON L7P 4W1 (905) 331-1830 subscriptions@promisekeepers.ca Postmaster: Please send address changes to PO Box 40599, Burlington, ON L7P 4W1 ISSN 1916-8403 Cover: Indigo Ink Studios Shane Claiborne photo courtesy of The Simple Way

30 Power Play Tools, toys and technology.

33 Shape Up Take time to get fit.

Editorial and Advertising Office 204-424 Logan Avenue Winnipeg, MB R3A 0R4 Phone: (204) 982-2060 (800) 263-6695 admin@christianweek.org dkoop@christianweek.org Design: Indigo Ink Studios www.indigoinkstudios.com

SEVEN is a Christian magazine for Canadian men that exists to help men lead more fulfilling lives and leave enduring legacies.

The name reflects the seven promises that form the basis of the Promise Keepers organization, which works with churches to minister to men across Canada. one – A Promise Keeper is committed to honouring Jesus Christ through worship, prayer,

and obedience to God's word in the power of the Holy Spirit. two – A Promise Keeper is committed to pursuing vital relationships with a few other men, understanding that he needs brothers to help him keep his promises. three – A Promise Keeper is committed to practising spiritual, moral, ethical, and sexual purity.

four – A Promise Keeper is committed to building strong marriages and families through love, protection, and biblical values.

six – A Promise Keeper is committed to reaching beyond any racial and denominational barriers to demonstrate the power of biblical unity.

five – A Promise Keeper is committed to supporting the mission of the church by honouring and praying for his pastor, and by actively giving his time and resources.

seven – A Promise Keeper is committed to influencing his world, being obedient to the Great Commandment (see Mark 12:30-31) and the Great Commission (see Matt 28:19-20).

seven – issue four january–february 2009 page 3

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PK Podium

Money, money, money Get beyond greed and plan for eternity

by Ron Hannah One of the most popular movies of the past year was Mamma Mia, and one of the top songs in the movie was “Money, Money, Money.” The lyrics to the chorus go like this: Money, money, money, must be funny, in the rich man’s world Money, money, money, always sunny, in a rich man’s world. All the things I could do, if I had a little money, in a rich man’s world.

It is not my intent to critique the movie but instead to draw your attention to the widespread belief that money can buy almost anything and that it undoubtedly will lead to happiness.

I don’t need to tell you about the financial mayhem stalking the globe over the past several months because I am sure everyone is feeling the impact personally to some degree or another. To that end, it is not always sunny, even in a rich man’s world, as the song says.

In the quest for more money we have witnessed the effects of greed of the highest degree in the global financial markets: institutions that have literally gambled with other people’s money and lost. This lack of integrity and good judgement has caused untold heartache and stress for many who put their faith in this world’s financial systems.

Scripture tells us that the love of money easily instigates evil. As a matter of fact it goes much deeper in saying: “For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows” (1 Tim. 6:10, KJV).

Listen. These are very tough times and it looks like they could even get tougher in the coming months or years.

During this period you are going to need money the currency of this world in order to look after your needs.

However, rather than take the road of the “rich man’s world” in the song that could lead to coveting or loving money, learn to be wise, stay out of debt, live within your means and start making deposits in your account in Heaven, where moth and rust cannot destroy or where thieves can’t break in and steal it (Matthew 6:19-24).

Ron Hannah is President of Promise Keepers Canada. His passion is to serve God and challenge men to be followers of Jesus Christ. Before joining Promise Keepers in 1998 Ron was a Vice President at Duracell Inc. He and his wife Joei reside in Burlington, Ontario, while his two sons, daughter-inlaws and four grandchildren live in Winnipeg, Manitoba.

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Help wanted

Spend. Save. Give. Endure.

by Rod Wilson If money is at the root of much evil, why don’t religious people give more money away and stop living so extravagantly?

It is interesting that many people, religious or irreligious, link money with evil, which implies that a lack of money is either less evil or not evil. That thinking allows us to conclude that having money is bad and being poor is preferable.

However, the apostle Paul maintained that “the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil, and in their eagerness to be rich some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pains” (1 Tim. 6:10). Notice it is not the amount of money that is the problem. It is about love and eagerness and grief.

Maybe you work in a factory for a very low wage and struggle to make ends meet.

Maybe you just lost your job and are having to make do on family loans and meager savings. Those circumstances, difficult as they are, provide a context where you can love money and be so eager to make it that you wander from faith and experience grief.

On the other hand, these challenging times may provide an opportunity to realize that “godliness with contentment is great gain” (6:6) and you may be able to think about tiny ways in which you can contribute to the needs of others.

Maybe you used to own your own business, sold it for a lavish profit, invested the money and doubled your principal. Those circumstances, good as they are, provide a context where you can love money and be so eager about it that you wander from faith and experience grief.

On the other hand, these invigorating times maybe provide an opportunity to realize that “godliness with contentment is great gain” and you may be able to think about large ways in which you can contribute to the needs of others.

It is not about what you have or do not have. The rich and the poor can love money and be eager about its acquisition. The grief that comes from that passion is unrelated to the size of your investments.

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My doctor gave me a prescription for mild depression. I prayed that God would heal me and I don’t understand why I should feel this way. As a Christian, isn’t my life supposed to be joyful?

One way to answer this question is to substitute “diabetes” for “depression” and “insulin” for “prescription.” How would you react if someone said: “Why don’t you stop taking insulin?” Or, “Why are you allowing diabetes to take away your joy as a Christian?” In other words, why is the diagnosis of clinical depression and a prescription for anti-depressant medication different from diabetes and insulin given that both diagnoses and treatments are medically understood and scientifically framed?

One of the finest preachers of the past 200 years, Charles Haddon Spurgeon, struggled with depression that lasted months at a time. Other Christian notables, like Martin Luther, John Bunyan and William Cowper, had experiences that seem to illustrate that joy, spiritual depth and commitment are no guarantee of protection from depression. And many of us know outstanding Christian leaders of the present who live with the noonday demon known as depression.

Can God heal people of depression?

Absolutely. To question that is to challenge His power and provision in our lives. But healing comes in different forms. Healing may mean the complete removal of a problem. However, Paul’s experience with his “thorn in the flesh” (2 Cor. 12) shows that the presence of God’s grace in our pain does not necessarily mean the pain will stop.

Some of us who struggle with depression have experienced God’s healing not by its removal, but through finding the strength of Christ in our weakness.

My husband hates spending money and tells me we should be saving for retirement.

How should I respond to him?

We all have tendencies when it comes to money. Some love spending and grab every chance to put the credit card or cash on the table. Others are obsessed with saving, framing life in terms of revenue, expenses and retirement.

Neither of these tendencies is always right or wrong. Spending and saving are not spiritual values or fruits of the Spirit.

They can be traced to childhood experiences, family influences, social pressure, anxiety, insecurity and personal conviction. So, first seek to understand your husband and recognize that the problem with money in marriage is not about whether it is spent or not spent, but more about whether you have mutual respect and are continuing to communicate.

There are two extremes when it comes to planning for retirement. On the one hand: I want to have a high-quality life when I retire so I am going to save a lot of money now in order to have security in the future. On the other: I don’t care about the future and am only living for the present. The first extreme falsely assumes I have many years of life ahead and money will provide the security I need. The other extreme fails to understand that diligence today reduces hardship for tomorrow.

Help your husband see that a prayerful understanding of this pearl of wisdom will help both of you navigate retirement well: “Those who trust in their riches will wither, but the righteous will flourish like green leaves” (Proverbs 11:28). The current economic climate invites us to ask serious questions about what withers and what flourishes.

Rod Wilson is president of Regent College in Vancouver, where he also serves as professor of Counselling and Psychology. He is the author of How Do I Help a Hurting Friend: Practical Help for Leaders and Laypeople (BakerBooks, 2006).

Could you use some help? Don’t shy away from asking. Send your questions to dkoop@christianweek.org.

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pulse

Curiousities. Personalities.

Ideas. Information.

by Robert White PULSE Editor

WARM UP THE TV AND HAVE A BOX OF TISSUES HANDY You’ve bought the dozen roses, the box of chocolates and prepared the candlelight dinner so what else can you do to make Valentine’s Day complete?

You could always warm up the VCR or DVD player and cuddle up to a nice romantic movie.

And for those of you who think Delta Force, Rambo, Terminator or Die Hard fall into that category, here are some suggestions. The American Film Institute has compiled its top 10 list of romantic comedies: City Lights, where Charlie Chaplin’s Tramp finally gets the girl.

Woody Allen’s classic neurotic romance with Annie Hall.

It Happened One Night with Clark Gable and Claudette Colbert, featuring the famous cabin scene with the blanket curtain.

Audrey Hepburn plays a youthful princess and Gregory Peck the reporter who helps her escape for a brief Roman Holiday.

The Philadelphia Story which weaves a tangled web of society, romance and blackmail, featuring Cary Grant, Jimmy Stewart and Katherine Hepburn.

The long and complex journey toward romance, from a shared car trip to a New Year’s Eve party, plays out in When Harry Met Sally.

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Katherine Hepburn again makes the list, this time with Spencer Tracy in Adam’s Rib where the couple plays lawyers on opposite sides of an attempted murder case.

Cher plays a widowed bookkeeper who falls in love with young Nicolas Cage, despite being engaged to his older brother in Moonstruck.

In Harold and Maude, 20-year-old Harold Chasen (Bud Cort) falls for the 79-year-old Maude (Ruth Gordon) who coaches the suicidal Harold to live in the present.

Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan work through a long-distance romance in Sleepless in Seattle.

If none of these movies fit the bill, you can always watch one of the many classics that are guaranteed to make a man cry and show his tender side. Shane and Old Yeller are always good for a tissue or two. Who can keep a dry eye when Joey yells, “Come back!

Shane” or when Travis has to shoot his rabid pet.

But if you prefer sports movies, there’s always Field of Dreams or Brian’s Song (the 1971 made-for-TV movie with James Caan and Billy Dee Williams as Brian Piccolo and Gale Sayers). Men will often find a lump in their throat and tears in their eyes as they watch Ray Kinsella (Kevin Costner) play catch with his dad for the last time or Sayers’ George S. Halas award acceptance speech.

Fantasy fans have their tearjerker in The Lord of the Rings trilogy, with its many emotional moments. None are as poignant as when the newly-crowned king, Aragorn, tells the four hobbits “you bow to no-one” as he himself and the rest the gathered crowd bow before Frodo and company

in Return of the King.

So there you have it, a buffet of romantic movies. Make your choice, turn on the TV and have a box, or two, of tissues handy.

This is how C.S. Lewis, author of The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe and Mere Christianity described his own worldview, the spiritual filter that governed his life: “I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen; not only because I see it, but also because by it I see everything else.”

SEX NOT THE REASON WHY MEN CHEAT In his new book The Truth About Cheating, Gary Neuman lists a number of reasons why men cheat—and it’s not just for the sex. The Florida-based psychotherapist and rabbi interviewed 100 faithful and 100 unfaithful husbands over two years and found most men don’t find their mistresses much more physically attractive than their wives, but do feel more loved in their company.

Neuman discovered only eight per cent of the men said sexual dissatisfaction was the main reason for an affair. The number one reason, at 48 per cent, was emotional dissatisfaction at home.

In an interview published in the Globe and Mail in October 2008, Neuman says: “Men keep telling me when they felt they could win at home, when they felt their wives were admiring or appreciative, that motivated them.

“Many of the men that cheated said they felt no matter what they did, they couldn’t win at home … whereas with

a mistress they felt they were getting verbal and emotional support.” This finding and the book’s subtitle—Why Men Stray and What You Can Do to Prevent It—have resulted in Neuman being criticized for blaming wives for their husband’s affairs.

FINDING SANCTUARY FROM NEED AND GREED In his latest book, The Twenty-Piece Shuffle, Greg Paul writes about Canadianborn newspaper tycoon Max Aitken, who was knighted and then made a baron: “When asked by a reporter just how much one needed these days to be rich, the fabulously wealthy Lord Beaverbrook responded, ‘Just a little more.’”

Paul heads up Sanctuary, a unique example of Christianity in downtown Toronto. Based in an older church building, Sanctuary’s members come from all walks of life: from corporate movers and shakers to the middle-class comfortable to the homeless, street people and the poor.

“It’s not that common to find churches where rich people and poor people actually meet together,gather together and try to live their lives together,” says Paul. “We’ve been doing that for 16 years and we’ve discovered some amazing stuff that happens in the scope of doing very biblical things.”

The Twenty-Piece Shuffle “is rooted in the stories of our community,” says Paul, who writes about Mandy, a prostitute who “takes risks others won’t, makes deals others don’t, works purely on instinct,” and Susan, whose 26 years as a company controller comes to an end when she unexpectedly decides to take option one—

an immediate golden handshake.

Telling stories about those who are part of or touched by Sanctuary helps Paul makes this point: “The rich are, usually because of their riches, barely conscious of their deep poverty...And the poor (at least in a First World culture) generally have little sense of their blessedness, the amazing abilities they have to share with people who appear to them to already have it all....

“I believe God urges the rich and powerful to care for the poor and vulnerable,” writes Paul, who hopes rich Canadians (including the lower-middle class) will connect with the poor. “I hope they say, ‘I really need to connect with some poor people because I want some of this.’

“I wish there was some softer way of saying it, but I don’t think there is,” Paul says to those who might be afraid of meeting the poor. “We need to recognize that following Jesus has never been about being comfortable or safe.

“The good news is, if we follow Him, we discover real life,” says Paul. “We find something that’s far richer than all of the stuff we’ve been trying to protect.”

PUTTING LIMITS ON THE PARENTAL ATM Parents who sometimes feel they’re simply their children’s ATM can put limits on spending with a few biblical principles.

In a two-part article on children and finances, Crown Financial Ministries (www.crown.org) lays out three principles: teach by example that God owns it all; exercise self-control; and live on a budget.

For Mike Strathdee, a stewardship consultant with the Mennonite Foundation of Canada, the first principle is key. He emphasizes it when he’s asked to teach children in churches across the country.

“How we manage money,” says Strathdee, “can bring us closer to God or move us further away.”

Teaching that money can be used as a tool for good or can cause “lots of trouble” is another key point Strathdee makes.

But he says the most important lesson he teaches is that while saving is hard—it’s a critical skill to learn.

“It’s how much you keep, not how much you get that’s important.”

Saving, especially setting aside money for a specific purpose, is something Earl Pitts, the co-author of Wealth, Riches & Money, teaches.

Parents can help children connect savings with specific wants by providing “matching funds” toward specific items. Pitts also feels children need to learn, at an early age, about tithing and connecting their allowance with work by connecting allowances to simple jobs around the home.

Generosity is an important concept both Strathdee and Pitts say children need to learn. “Money is for sharing, not just spending,” says Strathdee. “Sharing is an act of worship.” Pitts suggests parents can model generosity by giving gifts on top of allowances. “Learning to take from what is earned and being generous with someone else is basic to the handling of money,” says Pitts.

Finally, children need to learn about debt and compound interest, says Strathdee, suggesting there is good debt and bad debt. “Debt is something to think carefully about before getting into. And if you incur debt, you have to be committed to repaying it,” he says. Which is where compound interest comes in because it’s important to learn how it can work for you (with savings) or against you (with debt).

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pulse

MAKING SMART RESOLUTIONS My name is R___ and I’m a resolutionaholic and admit my life has become unmanageable because I can’t keep a resolution.

It’s the same every New Year’s Eve. After the clock strikes midnight, I kiss my wife, sing “Auld Lang Syne” and instantly break my New Year’s resolution by heading straight for the buffet table. New Year’s Day will find me on the couch, watching the bowl games with a bag of peanuts in one hand, a diet cola in the other and an unfinished pizza on the coffee table.

When the holidays are over, I head back to the office—a quick flight down to the basement.

There I move a few papers from one pile to the other, fire up shockwave.com crosswords puzzle, decide which CD to listen to and then realize it’s too late for a quiet time because my next deadline looms.

When noon comes, it’s a slow slog up the stairs to drive to a nearby fast food restaurant—past the gym—for a burger, large fries and a diet cola. On the trip back home, I stop by the donut shop for a desert of a large iced cappuccino and cream donut, again avoiding eye contact with the gym.

There you have it—resolutions to eat healthier, be more organized and start exercising—were broken within minutes, hours and days of New Year’s. But this year is going to be different because I’m going to follow a management tip I picked up years ago: this year’s resolution(s) are going to be SMART, an acronym for goals that are specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and timely.

My specific resolution will be to not make any resolutions. This will be measurable and

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attainable because at 12:01 a.m. on January 1, 2009, not one person in the room will hear me utter the words: “This year I resolve to…”

Nor will anyone be able to find a file titled 2009resolution.doc on my desktop or laptop computers.

Resolving not to make any resolutions is an extremely realistic one, especially based on my past. If there were a stack of pennies for every broken resolution in the past four decades, I’d probably be able to retire about a decade earlier than I plan to. And, finally, it’s timely because everyone will be able to track when I achieve that resolution— about a second after I make it.

If you’re planning to make a resolution, try to make it a SMART one—especially if it’s one intended to transform your life. But, you could also cop out like me and resolve not to make a resolution and stay the way you are.

PARENTS ADJUST WORK SCHEDULES FOR DISABLED CHILDREN Statistics Canada confirms what many parents of disabled children know: the extra care and attention disabled children need adds stress to the balance of family and work. Of parents surveyed in 2006 who have a disabled child 14 years old and younger, 61.5 per cent say trying to keep that balance “sometimes or always” causes stress.

The more severe the child’s disability, the more likely parents say it is the “main source of stress” in their family— from 46.2 per cent for the parents of children with a mild to moderate disability to 81.7 per cent for those with children with a severe disability.

Many parents choose to adjust work schedules, some work fewer or different hours or decline a promotion. Some even quit their jobs.

The impact isn’t evenly shared between husbands and wives. The survey found

mothers were eight times more likely than fathers (64 per cent versus eight per cent) to adjust their work schedules. Still, 25 per cent of couples decided they both had to make adjustments to their jobs.

One in five parents also report being told by daycares or other child caregivers that they wouldn’t accept children with disabilities.

About 200,000 Canadian families include a disabled child.

DOORS TO HOCKEY DRESSING ROOMS OPENING TO FAITH When now-retired NHLer Laurie Boschman became a Christian while playing for the Toronto Maple Leafs, team owner Harold Ballard blamed Boschman’s conversion for making him a soft player. Boschman maintains health issues affected his play during that 1981-82 season—but Ballard’s view that Christianity makes players weak is still a challenge Hockey Ministries International (HMI) faces as it tries to bring faith into the hockey arena.

“For the most part, the door in the game of hockey was resistant, pretty well closed,” says HMI staffer and former pro hockey player Mark Osborne. “We lived in a generation where there was a lot of suspicion and fear about hockey ministries.”

Paul Allen, HMI’s Ontario Division director, says the “very nature of the game” made it hard for them to establish chapels in some NHL cities. “There’s a code they talk about,” says Allen, suggesting management still fears religion may make the players soft or turn them into wimps.

Despite the challenges, HMI has grown from the small group founded by former NHLer Don Liesemer, to a ministry in every North American major junior and professional hockey league. In retirement, Boschman has become HMI’s chaplain to

the Ottawa Senators—the only Canadian team with an NHL chapel.

“Over the course of time, those doors have really opened,” says Osborne. “Players today are searching. They want to know the meaning and the significance of life—that there’s more than just hockey. We seem to put these elite athletes on a pedestal and often their spiritual part is neglected so we come alongside and try to encourage them.”

The doors have opened to the point the HMI hosted a breakfast during the Memorial Cup tournament held in Kitchener last May. Allen says it was the first time HMI had been invited to be part of the activities around the tournament that crowns a winner from among the Quebec Major Junior, the Ontario and Western Hockey Leagues.

In January, HMI held its annual All-Star Breakfast during the NHL’s All-Star weekend, which also celebrates the 100th anniversary of the Montreal Canadiens—featuring Marlene Geoffrion, the wife of late Canadien’s great Bernie “Boom Boom” Geoffrion and former All-Stars Jean Pronovost, Mike Gartner and Bobby Smith.

Phil Vischer, the founder of Veggie Tales, figured as long as he was busy doing good, surely God would direct him, just like a GPS unit. He says a phrase that motivated him to build an entertainment empire for the sake of doing good for God was “God can’t move a parked car.” After his empire crashed, however, through reflection, he discovered his “car” had so much noise inside he couldn’t hear his divine GPS, which resulted in several wrong turns.

—from integrityresource.org

FORMER NHLER’S NUMBER RETIRED

WHAT DOES YOUR MONEY SAY?

Former Washington Capitals forward Mike Gartner’s number 11 is up—in the rafters of the Verizon Centre with Rod Langway’s number 5, Yvon Labre’s number 7 and Dale Hunter’s number 32.

An Ottawa native who now co-owns a hockey training business with rinks in Barrie, Thornhill and Newmarket, Gartner spent the first 10 years of his 19-year NHL career in Washington beginning in 1979.

Gartner led the team in goals five times, in points four times and is one of three Capitals’ players to have a 100point season. A member of the Hockey Hall of Fame, Gartner’s numbers place him second in Capitals history with goals (397), assists (392) and points (789).

While he played for the Capitals, fellow teammate Jean Pronovost introduced Gartner to both the Hockey Ministries International (HMI) chapel and, a faith in Jesus Christ. Gartner is still active with HMI, helping at hockey camps and speaking at various HMI events, such as last year’s Memorial Cup breakfast in Kitchener. He’s also a member of the World Vision Canada board of directors.

Gartner’s number was retired in a ceremony before the December 28 game against the Toronto Maple Leafs, where he spent two and a half seasons. Gartner also played for the Minnesota North Stars, the New York Rangers and retired in 1998 from the Phoenix Coyotes.

When my money talks, it generally says good bye. However, Bryan Moyer Suderman’s My Money Talks, uses music to teach stewardship and money management. Suderman’s tunes—from praise rock, folk-pop, reggae and calypso— will keep you humming the catchy lyrics.

He tackles, head on, topics like contentment, resources, greed and consumerism, like the lyrics of the title song: “Do you hear the story of a man who can’t say no/To the latest thing the advertisers show?/ Slaps down his credit card like trump into the game/ Hoping it will make things right again.”

For Suderman, the challenge wasn’t coming up with 12 songs to fill a CD of songs about music—it was choosing which to leave out. He spent about a year, before writing the songs, reading and reflecting on the Bible’s view about money.

“A large part of the process was finding out what Scripture texts we needed to focus on,” says Suderman. “I kept coming back to texts that became important to me and they became the core of where the music came from.”

What Suderman discovered was “the way we live, what we do with our money, is of enormous significance. How come we sing about this so seldom?” He also decided he wasn’t going to just write a bunch of songs telling people what they needed to think or do.

“It became very much an exploration of my own struggles about how to live my life economically the way God wants me to,” says Suderman. For more information on My Money Talks, visit www.smalltallmusic.com.

seven – issue four january–february 2009 page 11

pulse

floating Found floating on the Internet Topic 6 — Loss of identity: Losing the remote to your significant other. Helpline support and support groups.

Topic 7 — Learning how to find things, starting with looking in the right place instead of turning the house upside down while screaming.

Open forum.

Topic 8 — Health watch: Bringing her flowers is not harmful to your health.

Graphics and audio tape.

Topic 9 — Real men ask for directions when lost. Real life testimonials.

CLASSES FOR MEN Topic 1 — How to fill up the ice cube trays.

Step by step, with slide presentation.

Topic 2 — The toilet paper roll: Do they grow on the holders?

Roundtable discussion.

Topic 3 — How to fight cerebral atrophy: Remembering birthdays, anniversaries, other important dates and calling when you’re going to be late. Cerebral shock therapy sessions and full lobotomies offered.

Topic 4 — Fundamental differences between the laundry hamper and the floor. Pictures and explanatory graphics.

Topic 5 — The after-dinner dishes and silverware: Can they levitate and fly into the kitchen sink?

Examples on video.

seven – issue four january–february 2009 page 12

Topic 10 —Is it genetically impossible to sit quietly as she parallel parks?

Driving simulation.

Topic 11 —Learning to live: Basic differences between your mother and your wife.

Online class and roleplaying.

Topic 12 —How to be the ideal shopping companion. Relaxation exercises, meditation and breathing techniques.

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Much ado about money, love (and death)

IRRESISTABLE REVOLUTION: LIVING AS AN ORDINARY RADICAL

By Shane Claiborne Shane Claiborne believes that the gospels are not just for Mother Teresa and St. Francis, and that the Sermon on the Mount is as meaningful today as it was 2,000 years ago. His is a prophetic voice crying in the wilderness of materialism and consumerism. The plain message of Jesus is a radical affront to North American lifestyles.

Yet it is oddly compelling. Strangely freeing.

How else can you explain the popular appeal of a guy who rejects just about every message promoted by the mass marketing interests that promise to satisfy our desires?

Something deeper is happening. Claiborne’s “Simple Way” announces a better way. It’s a message we need to hear. Now, if only a few of us would actually hop off the treadmill and get on the real road.

FREE AND CLEAR: GOD’S ROADMAP TO DEBT-FREE LIVING

By Howard Dayton How we handle our money impacts our fellowship with God; and God wants us to handle money wisely. These are core convictions for financial counselor Howard Dayton, who is on a mission to help Christians live more financially responsible (and generous) lives. To that end he’s written Free and Clear, which isn’t a book just to read.

It’s a book to do. Packed with anecdotes, tidbits of practical wisdom, basic checklists and key questions to address, Dayton provides step-by-step guides to financial

(and spiritual) freedom. “The destination of becoming free and clear from debt is worth the effort,” he insists.

GOD IN THE MARKETPLACE: 45 QUESTIONS FORTUNE 500 EXECUTIVES ASK ABOUT FAITH, LIFE & BUSINESS

By Henry and Richard Blackaby Brevity is an essential element of effective communication in the business world. The father and son Blackaby team recognizes that corporate types don’t like their time wasted with extra words. Their latest book speaks to a host of spiritual and Christian living issues business leaders typically face. Such as: How can I be less political and more spiritually driven at work?

How can I be a spiritual leader to my children when business constantly takes me away from home? Short chapters address key questions and point to further resources.

Each offers practical advice for busy leaders who want to lead a God-honouring life. The authors deeply believe “God is strategically preparing businesspeople to be a catalyst for [revival].”

YOUR MONEY OR YOUR LIFE: CAN YOU DO BOTH GOD’S WAY?

By Russell Corben with Brian Smith Pastors can easily get into hot water pretty quickly when they talk about money.

Most people in our society consider our financial affairs to be a personal (and private) matter. So when the man in the pulpit starts preaching about

“joyful generosity,” watch out. He’s taking a step into no trespassing territory. The trouble, however, is that the Bible is full of stories about money, possessions and generosity. God figures this stuff is important too. Written in an easy-to-read story format, Your Money or Your Life discusses 11 Scripture passages relating to wealth management. It’s essentially a series of Bible studies presented in story form.

It is very accessible, practical and biblical.

Dang! Now I have to do something about it.

DEATH BY LOVE

By Mark Driscoll Google Mark Driscoll and you’ll find a wide variety of opinions about the pastor of Mars Hill Church in Seattle. Driscoll often uses extreme words and imagery to capture the attention of his audience. Death by Love is no different. It is an intense journey into the personal lives of people he’s had the opportunity to counsel as a pastor.

Many Christians view the death of Jesus as something that pays the penalty for our sin, but fail to see how His death and resurrection can destroy the power of sin.

Every person has sinned and has also been sinned against. Driscoll takes 12 common battles facing people and weaves together their pain or sin with the redemptive story of Jesus. This book is not a light read. You will not necessarily feel good about some of the hard lessons. However, if you are in the depths of brokenness, know someone else who is, or simply want to gain a greater appreciation for the truth, grace, and power of Jesus’ death by love, then this is an excellent resource.

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Illustration: Natalie Morin + Kirsten Piepenbring, Indigo Ink Studios

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Money: How much is ENOUGH? Rejoice: Limits help us make choices.

by Frank Stirk I figure it’ll take me two or three days to write this article. Maybe I could finish it in a day, but my body wouldn’t thank me for it.

There are only so many hours I can put into one session without my eyes and my hands and my brain starting to ache from being too long on the computer. So I’ll set myself a limit for the day and pick it up again tomorrow. But neither can I take all the time in the world to write this. I’m limited by a deadline. There are others involved in producing this magazine who need me to get it done on time.

All our lives are like that. They’re full of limits, those that we place on ourselves and those that others place on us. When we try to live without limits, things like greed, self-indulgence and lust overtake us—and we end up harming ourselves and those around us.

The Bible is full of limits, too. Do not murder, do not steal, do not commit adultery, do not envy, do not live as the pagans do, do not worry, don’t be afraid, and so on.

The only limitless activity we’re commanded to do is to love God with all our heart, mind, soul and strength. Everything else about living a godly life flows from that.

One of the biggest problems our world faces today is we’ve exchanged a limitless love of God with a limitless love of wealth— an insatiable appetite for more and more possessions and all the money it takes to buy them. It’s so powerful that just about everyone can get caught up in it.

“You don’t mess with money” “You get a homeless person who gets into a fight with someone and there’s an assault charge, it’s no big deal. They get some community hours,” says Salvation Army Major Geoff Ryan, who ministers among Toronto’s underprivileged. “But if

they try to pass a bad $5 bill, then they’re going to be crucified. You don’t mess with money, basically.”

“Money is sort of the last taboo. We talk so little about it,” says Tim Ernst with The Navigators in downtown Vancouver. “I think it’s a huge blind spot in our culture generally.

We have a 12-step program for every possible conceivable form of addiction—except for money. We just accept our culture’s veneration of people with money.

“Maybe Donald Trump should be in a 12-step program.”

Jesus understood our craving for wealth and its power to corrupt everything else, most importantly our relationship with the Father. We cannot worship God and money at the same time, he said. It has to be one or the other.

For the Christian, the choice is obvious— or it should be. But choosing God means being willing to “store up treasures in Heaven” while radically trusting in Him to meet our most basic needs here on Earth.

“I would say our daily bread is enough,” says Russell Corben, co-author of a new Bible study on wealth, Your Money or Your Life. “Jesus says that we are to pray, ‘Give us this day our daily bread.’ If we really needed more than that, then I think the Lord’s Prayer would be different—‘Give me enough for tomorrow.’ But Christ doesn’t say that.”

The pleasure or the glory Some years ago, the Spirit convicted Lorne Jackson, a successful Ontario businessman, that everything he had belonged to God. “When you realize that God owns 100 per cent, then you begin to look at things differently,” he says. Because when we view our wealth as actually God’s, it makes us realize that it’s not right to ask, “how can I best use my wealth for my

pleasure?” Instead, we should ask, “how would He want me to use it for His purposes and for His glory?”

As Jackson discovered, every other path leads to a dead end. “One of the reasons we’re often tempted to get so focused on how much we make is because for a man, it’s so we can feel ‘successful,’” he says. “But we may lose our family and everything else in the bargain.

Well, then are we successful? No, not even in the world’s eyes.”

“You will be made rich in every way so that you can be generous on every occasion, and through us your generosity will result in thanksgiving to God.” — 2 Corinthians 9:11 (NIV) God, on the other hand, measures financial “success” not by how much we earn but by our willingness to part with it, if that’s His will. What Jackson did was figure out prayerfully how much he needed—and then promise God he would give away the rest. The result was a contentment he had never known before.

“That was a turning point for me, not only in my understanding of money but in my relationship with the Lord,” he says.

“Those I know who have done that say things like this: ‘Lorne, the more I give, the more I have. I just can’t give it away fast enough.’ Had they not figured out what the answer is to how much is enough, they never would’ve had that blessing.”

Ernst tells a similar story about an insurance broker he led to Christ. “As a result of his faith, he took on a new

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emphasis,” he says. “That is helping high net-worth clients learn how to give to charity.

His whole thing is, ‘Give it away, so that you can make the world a better place.’ He doesn’t describe it in more Christian terms than that, but that’s the impulse that really drives him professionally now.”

Voluntary lifestyle limits “My dad basically made the decision to freeze his assets,” says Mark Petersen, executive director of the Bridgeway Foundation.

“He decided that a certain amount was enough and that 100 per cent of profit after that amount would be channeled into this foundation.”

It provides grants in support of projects and charities that express Christian love.

Like Jackson, Petersen encourages families to budget according to their needs and give away the rest. But he also goes a step further by urging them to “try to live under that level,” since it’s probably still more than we really need, anyway.

“For example,” he says, “when my wife and I tried to figure out where we were going to live, we could’ve bought a big, four-bedroom house out in the country, but we intentionally chose a three-bedroom town house. It was smaller space, so we didn’t have to fill all these extra rooms.”

As for deciding where the money we don’t need should go, Petersen advises some personal “soul-searching to assess why God has put you on this Earth.”

“I think it’s helpful for those that are trying to be philanthropic to determine what area you really want to make a difference in,” he says. “That way, you can really channel your energy and your funding into that particular area.”

Ryan thinks what these men are doing

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is “great”—and yet he doubts it will have much impact on most people in the pews.

Vast middle class “The upper economic elite of Christendom don’t really set the tone for the culture,” he says. “The problem is the vast middle-class, which make up the majority of evangelicals, who use their resources for themselves as opposed to creating opportunities, economic and otherwise, for other folks—the last, the lost and the least.”

“Honour the Lord with your wealth, with the firstfruits of all your crops then your barns will be filled to over flowing, and your vats will brim over with new wine.”

— Proverbs 3:9-10 (NIV) In fact, the silence from the pulpit on topics such as wealth and stewardship can be deafening. “I find that pastors seldom talk about it, because they don’t really get out and connect with the businessperson in the business world,” says Jackson.

“A pastor,” he suggests, “could order 10 copies of SEVEN and personally hand-deliver them to 10 men in his church in their offices. It gives the pastor an excuse to be there, to connect with them in their business environment— and he drops off a magazine that has input into their lives.”

Still, Jackson

hopes the current global financial meltdown might cause some to reconsider who they can trust to see them through this crisis, and that “they’ll realize God is in control.”

So far, Ernst hasn’t met many people who are responding to the crisis on that basic level. But as with any crisis, it’s giving him a unique window of opportunity to talk about Jesus.

“When the disciples were going through the storm, Jesus was present,” he says.

“And whether the storm lasts a long time or a short time, this is a great time to experiment and see if He won’t come through and honour the trust that you give to Him. Just take a proportion of the trust that you’ve been investing in your wealth and add that trust to your relationship with Jesus— and watch what happens.”

Frank Stirk is a freelance writer based in North Vancouver. He is the B.C. regional correspondent for ChristianWeek.

Debt: Any amount is too much When we get caught up in trying to accumulate more and more wealth, we push ourselves to spend more than what we can afford. More money goes out than comes in.

So we make up the difference on borrowed money—credit cards with high interest charges and going into the red on our bank accounts. The result is we slide ever deeper into debt.

It’s a problem that’s getting worse by the year. A recent study by Statistics Canada found that between 1982 and 2005, consumer spending in Canada rose from 52.8 per cent of economic activity to 58.9 per cent. During those same years, household debt more than doubled, going from 55 cents per dollar of disposable income to $1.16— and the personal savings rate plummeted, from 20.2 per cent to just 1.5 per cent.

The first step to climbing out of debt is simply to stop racking up new debt. That means spending a lot less and a return to living within our means. But for the Christian, author Russell Corben believes it also involves the same faith attitude toward money that compels us to give away what we don’t need.

“I think we will be able to pay off our debt when our focus is on security and trust in the Lord and giving to God, because then we won’t want so much for ourselves,” he says.

A good barometer of people’s trust in God, says Jackson, is their attitude toward tithing to their church. “The people that say, ‘I can’t give a tithe right now, but I’ll give two per cent and work my way up,’ I’ve never found any one of them ever make it to the 10 per cent. And I don’t know them ever to be

blessed enough to be able to afford to do it.”

Being in debt at any time is “not Godhonouring,” says Jackson, because it keeps us locked in survival mode when we should be focused on using our wealth to bless others. But especially now, with the economy in rough shape, it’s even more important that we get out of debt. “Some tough times are coming,” he warns, “and if we’re in debt, they’re going to be just that much tougher.”

But debt-ridden or not, neither should our focus be on just our own financial well-being.

“We really need to focus on giving to the poor,” says Jackson. “We’re a very rich nation and if we’re not more generous in helping the poor, God will redistribute the wealth Himself. And if He does it, it’ll be a lot more painful than if we do it.”

— Frank Stirk

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The lighter side of money How something we need so much can matter so little

Illustration:Kirsten Piepenbring, Indigo Ink Studios

Lately it is been hard to escape the consequences of the current financial catastrophe that is wrecking the global economy. Tear-soaked telethons raising money to pay off the credit card debts of Paris Hilton and other socialite heiresses now crowd the airwaves.

Who among us has not been touched by the plight of Wall Street magnates compelled by cruel circumstance to dry-dock their yachts, lay off their polo coaches and repossess the jewels they once showered on their Brazilian mistresses or been deeply moved by the sight of a wretched hedge fund manager freezing in a refrigerator carton under the bridge?

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And yet in some ways I welcome the coming of mass misery and poverty.

Like many Baby Boomers I was raised by parents who survived the Dirty Thirties and the Great Depression: stories of breadlines, soup kitchens, the March on Ottawa by thousands of jobless men, and prairie skies darkened by locust swarms and dust storms were as mother’s milk to me. I endured countless lectures on thrift, horror stories about children who had to walk to school (no buses or obliging parental drivers for these oppressed mites), and the virtues of saving versus the vice of spending.

One lesson was crystal clear: poverty breeds good character; money makes you

self-indulgent and careless. And if I forgot that for a second, I was made to watch the Walt Disney cartoon about the industrious ant who prospered and the consumerist grasshopper who sang “The World Owes Me A Living,” but who froze to death when winter came.

Now, decades later, when financial disaster has hit my generation, I have, at last, a chance at developing that good character that was denied me by a comfortable childhood. I eagerly await the hardships that will turn into soul-building anecdotes to bore my future grandchildren.

by Gerry Bowler Money is over-rated The truth, though, is that money is over-rated both in its absence and its abundance. We all know poor folk who have the characters of alley rats and well-off people who are model citizens. The question is not how much money we have but what we do with it. Few of us are likely to say that we don’t need more money in our lives. After all, we are men with mortgages to pay, groceries to buy, kids’ sports equipment or music lessons to pay for and a car or two that need filling with gas. And then there are our toys.

Like most men, I love toys. As males grow older we do not abandon playthings; the objects of our interest simply get more expensive. We leave bicycles and skateboards behind and focus our attention on the manly joys of sports cars and SUVs— at some superficial, politically-correct level we may condemn the gas-guzzling, carbonspewing Hummers, but deep down our hearts beat faster and our testosterone surges at the thought of climbing into one of those massive babies and crushing slowmoving cyclists and pesky squeegee kids beneath our 18-inch off-road tires on the polished alloy wheels.

We dare not venture forth into the world without charging our cell phones, digital cameras and iPods. Our cars have been remotely started; our seats are electronically warmed; the warm female voice of our talking GPS system guides us to our destination. We know that Bluetooth is not a pirate. Our high-definition televisions have screens measured in yards, not inches, and the sub-woofers in our home theatre systems emit bass notes so low that sperm whales run themselves aground on the B.C. coast.

We have boats, ATVs, snowmobiles, motorcycles and personal watercraft.

The faster a toy goes with the more danger to ourselves, the better we like it.

I must not forget those, like myself, who are addicted to perpetually upgrading their computer array, who possess laptops

and desktops, scanners, printers, external storage devices and a USB launcher that fires nerf missiles at those who interrupt our fun. Some of us golf against Tiger Woods on our X-Box, simulate a Guitar Hero on our PlayStation or go bowling on our Wii. And those are only the useful things.

What about the money we’ve spent on talking beer bottle openers or mounted fish that sing “Don’t Worry Be Happy”?

What money can’t buy The problem with possessions though, is that sooner or later they end up owning us more than we own them. We spend money to upgrade and insure them; we spend time to maintain them; and we spend anxiety lest our playthings be lost, stolen or scratched. We find that while money can buy us momentary distraction, it can’t buy us anything approaching satisfaction.

The list of things that money can’t buy is instructive. You will find, for example, that your dog is unimpressed by the size of your bank account. He would far rather tussle with you for possession of a slobbery tennis ball than a wad of hundred dollar bills. He wants you to rub his stomach, not send him for a pedicure at a high-end spa. (This is not true of your cat. Cats do care about your credit balance and will not eat the cheap tuna fish you offer them. That’s why real men are not cat people.)

Money can’t buy a good woman— in fact, that’s one of the definitions of a good woman—and it certainly can’t buy anything as precious as the respect of your kids.

Children very soon stop listening to us but they never stop watching us. They are keener observers than the Hubble Space Telescope, which can peer billions of light years into space but cannot, as your child can, detect hypocrisy and shallow values at a glance.

We know all this, instinctively or through bitter experience, and yet we continue to chase money as if it were something that

really mattered. We make unhealthy choices to get more of it; we deprive our family of our presence in chase of it; we view ourselves as lesser men, somehow, if we don’t have as much of it as our neighbours. And therein lies men’s biggest problem with money: we use it to keep score.

Males, by nature, are active and competitive creatures and we constantly strive to measure our accomplishments and ourselves. But society no longer requires very many hunters or warriors. Unlike our ancestors of less civilized times, we can’t gauge our value by the number of enemies dead at our feet or mastodon carcasses dragged back to the home cave.

So we turn to money and the things we can buy that show those around us that we have money. Because money is a good thing (when we use it to provide for our family or give to charity or invest for the future) we fall into the trap of thinking that more of it must be better and that a man who has more of it must be a better man.

To escape from this trap and the false image of ourselves it gives us, we have to remember that this is not how we are really measured by those that love us: our wives, our kids, our dogs and our God. They want our time, our focused attention and our devotion. In return we get love and real happiness. None of that is taxable or subject to loss when the stock market declines.

Gerry Bowler, a world-renowned authority on Santa Claus and all things Christmas, teaches History at the University of Manitoba.

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Practice what you preach about poverty Claiborne cares for the poor and shuns comfortable consumption

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by Robert White Some people hear a sermon about helping the poor and wish they had the faith or guts to do something about it. Shane Claiborne lives that sermon.

As a student at Eastern University— where Tony Campolo taught—Claiborne began ministering to and connecting with the poor when he and some fellow students formed YACHT (Youth Against Complacency and Homelessness Today). In time, Claiborne stopped visiting Philadelphia’s inner city. He moved there to help found The Simple Way, a faith community where members live among the poorest of the poor, sharing their lives, their resources and their faith.

The more contact Claiborne had with the poor, the more he saw the disconnect between what churches preached and what Christians did. A 10-week stint working with Mother Teresa in Calcutta, three weeks in Baghdad with the Iraq Peace Team and a year serving at the Willow Creek megachurch just outside Chicago confirmed that disconnect. He wrote The Irresistible Revolution: living as an ordinary radical to challenge modern-day disciples to rediscover the spirit of the early Church by living a life that cares for the poor and shuns comfortable consumption.

“A lot of what we’ve settled for in the church is distant acts of charity or shortterm missions trips where you clock in and out of experiences,” says Claiborne.

“Missions is very compartmentalized.

You don’t have generative community where rich and poor are learning from each other and mutually transformed through that.”

Without a connection to the poor, the “distant acts of charity” often lead to incidents like a church sending a box of donations “for the homeless,” writes Claiborne in The Irresistible Revolution.

Opening a box of microwave popcorn, his first instinct was to laugh because “we barely had electricity, much less a microwave.” His second instinct was to

cry because “of how far the Church had become removed from the poor.”

The solution: for the rich and the poor to build relationships. How? Claiborne says the question itself is about mission.

“Jesus isn’t saying to the poor ‘come and find the Church.’ He’s saying to us ‘Go into the world.’ Everyone is called to be in relationship to the poor, the hurting and the suffering.”

Claiborne encourages people to be creative in finding out how that calling looks in their lives. “There’s not a cookie cutter mold of what it means,” he says, giving the example of two tax collectors in the Bible: Matthew, who left all he had to follow Jesus and Zacchaeus, who sold half of what he had, gave it to the poor and paid others back four times what they were owed.

“Both are kind of radical non-conformists, but that doesn’t mean they look exactly alike.

“I love to see business folks doing creative and missional business; seeing students thinking about how the things they’re learning can impact the needs of the world and to live outside themselves,” says Claiborne.

“A lot of the stories I tell are about folks who have rethought their vocations. Around the corner from us are a group of doctors and nurses that saw 48 million people in the US that don’t have medical coverage— so they opened a free clinic. That’s what they live for.”

Once relationships are created, true community can begin where rich and poor can equally share their resources—financial, physical and spiritual. “What was so radical in the early Church is that you see this connection between loving God and loving people and that affects your economics,” says Claiborne. “The early Christians would say if you have two coats, you’ve stolen one because there are still people who are cold.

Basil the Great said if someone starves while the Christians have extra food, then we are

guilty. Redistribution of resources is only meaningful when it’s rooted in relationship.”

Which brings up the question, now asked by many North Americans in a floundering economy: How much is enough? For Claiborne that question is “totally framed by the question: Who is my neighbour?

“There are plenty of liberals who talk about poverty and injustice but rarely encounter the poor, living detached lives of socially responsible but comfortable consumption. And there are plenty of Christians who talk about how much God cares for the poor but don’t know any poor folks.”

–Shane Claiborne, The Irresistible Revolution “If your neighbour’s got four cars, then two cars are not too much. If your neighbour doesn’t have a car at all, two cars is too much. The fundamental question is ‘how do I love my neighbour as myself?’

“The deepest disconnect is this idea that we don’t know our neighbour. As Scripture says: how can we pass by our neighbour who is in need and say the love of God is in us if we don’t have compassion on them?” asks Claiborne. “I love the quote: Once we’ve discovered how to love our neighbour as ourself, capitalism won’t be possible and Marxism won’t be necessary.’

“It’s not a system. It’s radical love.”

Robert White is editor of ChristianWeek Ontario and prepares the PULSE department for SEVEN. He interviewed Shane at the Promise Keepers event in Mississauga in November.

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BUSINESS IS THE CONDUIT Victor Thomas pursues his calling in the world of international commerce

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by Doug Koop Victor Thomas is experiencing chills and thrills as the economic roller coaster twists and plummets. “The markets around the world are wild,” he says. “They’re going to be unpredictable for a while and that means we need to be more creative and flexible. The companies that can find a way to thrive in this environment will be stronger.”

Although he has yet to turn 30, Thomas is VP International of Regina-based Global Bridgeway Inc., which he describes as a “young business development company” helping “to bring business opportunities to Canada.” He’s in the business of “connecting companies and capital,” a job that has him on the road and out of the country a lot of the time.

Victor’s main job is to help put deals together for clients. This involves prospecting for new clients, doing due diligence on the companies they connect with—“analyzing data to see if a company is actually producing what they say they’re producing and assessing all the possibilities of future growth.” The situation has gotten a lot harder with the global markets in meltdown mode. “The financial markets have made a few deals go sideways,” he allows. But he insists that the difficulties enable the more creative companies to survive and thrive. “The deals we’re working on are stronger as a result,” he says.

Trying to put together major international deals is a demanding occupation, but it only represents a facet of Thomas’s many involvements. He is heavily involved in Regina’s bustling business community.

He sits on the board of the city’s Chamber of Commerce. Saskatchewan premier Brad Wall recently appointed Thomas to the board of SaskEnergy. He sits on at least eight boards and committees. Why is he so in demand?

“I’m usually the youngest,” he laughs. “And the tallest. And usually have the best tan.”

More seriously, Thomas is invited because he contributes. He has studied

and understands a lot of key matters boards must consider—e.g. governance issues, succession planning, enterprise risk management. And he likes to be at the table because he is keen to learn. “I always have to keep learning, training and improving,” he says. “I try to be a contributing sponge.”

All these opportunities are providing foundational experience for a man who aspires to become a global leader in business and encourage fellow Christians in the marketplace. “My faith is the basis of everything I am,” he explains. “The things I do are directly tied into my faith journey.

God gives me opportunities to do some amazing things and that’s part of the plan.

Business is the conduit in which I’m serving Him.” It’s a conscious choice. Thomas has been a churchgoer all his life and enjoyed ready access to the Christian ministry world.

He taught Sunday school and served as an usher in his home church and worked with Athletes in Action as a basketball coach, administrator and AIA club president at his university. At the same time, however, he was involved in a wide range of public activities including a stint as president of the University of Regina Students’ Union.

Nowadays he is a willing speaker for ministry events and a behind-the-scenes prayer leader for people in positions of cultural influence. “Trying to get even a small group of business and political leaders together in the same room at the same time is hard,” he says. Nonetheless, he is meeting with young leaders to focus on prayer for the broader community, its leaders and their families.

“We do encourage an outward view for our church people,” says Larry Hurst, pastor of Living Hope Alliance Church in Regina, where Thomas attends. “There are a good number of our folks who are/have been involved in everything from the Food Bank to the Grey Cup committee a couple years back to Alpha in the Workplace.

We consider Victor a good model of this outward orientation.”

That’s good news for a young man who seeks to model Christian integrity in the big world of international commerce. “This is where God has called me right now,” he says. “I have a long way to go, but have been blessed immensely.”

Doug Koop is editorial director of ChristianWeek and managing editor of SEVEN.

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Hippie days are here again Volkswagen taps ‘60s nostalgia with new Routan van

by Charles W. Moore I spent substantial portions of my youth tooling around in Volkswagens and VW’s clever ad campaign for its new Routan minivan definitely plucks my nostalgia chords. The company is clearly hoping that enough of my generation, and younger folks looking to channel some 1960s retrochic, will translate into robust Routan sales.

“With more flower and more power,” VW’s ad copywriters enthuse, “the all-new 2009 Routan is our first 7-seater to be introduced in Canada since the classic Microbus. You’ll soon discover that our German engineers have made some changes.”

In this case, that would be the “German engineers” at the Chrysler Technology Center in Auburn Hills, Michigan, since the Routan is actually a Chrysler RT platform minivan variant. It’s being built for VW alongside Dodge Caravans and Chrysler Town and Countrys at Chrysler’s Windsor, Ontario plant.

For the Routan, VW made some changes from Chrysler specifications, such as “European-tuned suspension” and choice of interior materials, trim and colours.

That’s all to the good, since Chrysler has all but perfected the minivan concept since introducing its game-changer Magic Wagon a quarter-century ago.

Nostalgia aside, the old VW Microbus really wasn’t a very good automobile. The Routan is certain to be better in every way than the old VW Microbus.

Launched in 1950, the Volkswagen vans were variously known as Transporter, Kombi, and Microbus. They became identified with

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the 1960s hippie era as a counterculture statement, being the antithesis of American cars of the day. Folksinger Arlo Guthrie drove one that figured prominently in his 1968 song, “Alice’s Restaurant,” and the film that followed in 1969. But they also appealed for practical reasons and were popular with tradespeople and families for their commodious seating and carrying capacity.

However, the original VW vans had considerable shortcomings. The flat front offered minimal protection for the driver and front-seat passenger from injury or worse in head-on collisions. The vans were unbelievably gutless and handled poorly, indeed dangerously by reasonable standards in strong crosswinds. They also had a dismaying tendency to catch fire. Despite its top speed of about 85-90 kilometres per hour and accelerating at the rate of continental drift, the low-geared VW van also delivered mediocre fuel mileage.

And it was as cold as charity in the winter.

By contrast, the new Routan should be an excellent vehicle, has a five-star front and side impact safety rating, and is competitively priced. I hope VW sells a bunch, as challenging as that will be in present market conditions.

Charles W. Moore is a Nova Scotian freelance writer and editor who has lived in all three Maritime provinces and whose articles, features and commentaries have appeared in more than 40 magazines and newspapers in Canada, the U.S., the U.K. and Australia.

seven – issue four january–february 2009 page 25

features

Unromantic moments

When it comes to gifts for women, men have a knack for missing their big chance

seven – issue four january–february 2009 page 26

by Robert White In their book Men are Like Waffles, Women are Like Spaghetti Bill and Pam Farrell explain that a man is like a waffle because each element of his life is in a separate box and a woman is like spaghetti because everything in her life touches everything else. These differing perspectives can lead to some interesting moments, especially when it comes to giving—or receiving— “romantic” gifts. What one man sees as a wonderfully romantic gift, or a way to deliver that gift, may not be seen that way by his wife or girlfriend. Which usually explains the man’s puzzled looks as the woman runs to the bedroom, sobbing, exclaiming “How could you?”

Like the time Laura Davis anxiously waited for a gift from her husband on their 25th wedding anniversary. And waited…all through breakfast, lunch and dinner. “By the time dessert came,” she recalls, “let’s just say it would have been a wise choice for my husband to start running for the hills. He didn’t even notice my red face, pout or the way I refused to talk to him all the way back to the hotel room.”

The tables turned as Davis got ready for bed, ready to ignore him for the night. “On my pillow was a little silver box and, nestled in that box, a beautiful ring. But I was so angry I couldn’t enjoy the moment,” Davis says, adding a warning for all men: never wait to give her the gift.

Men often choose a gift that, in the store, looks perfect. We think we’ve been paying attention to our spouses and know exactly what they want. Or so we think until we put our plan into action.

One day Jane Harris-Zsovan’s husband asked her if she could take a few minutes out of her busy schedule to go for coffee.

Imagine her picturing a mini-date, cleaning off her desk and waiting to be picked up.

“Was I in for surprise,” she says of the quick trip to the local grocery store to hit the bulk food section for a can of name-brand coffee which they brought home to brew.

But, even if men pick out the perfect gift, they often wind up messing up the delivery.

For our first Christmas together, my wife talked about wanting a jewellery box, so I bought one. Then, one night at supper, we began the guessing game, trying to figure out what we’d given each other.

Knowing she’d never believe me, I told her I’d bought her a jewellery box. Imagine both her surprise—and anger—when she opened her gift to find out I’d told the truth. By the way, I learned and have never told her what I got her again.

Instead of revealing the gift, Lloyd Mackey thought some clever packaging would enhance the surprise. His Christmas present to his fiancé of a bottle of Chanel No. 5 perfume was nestled inside a CorningWare coffee percolator.

“The shock of such a utilitarian Christmas gift was great enough that the romantic afterglow of finding the perfume bottle didn’t quite match it,” says Mackey.

The relationship survived, though, and the Mackeys recently celebrated their 39th wedding anniversary.

Sometimes time, not fancy or expensive gifts, is the preferred gift—a lesson Peter Black learned when his first son was born nearly 40 years ago. “Like a caring husband I turned up at the hospital with flowers,” says Black who, after a 25-minute visit, “dashed off to a prayer meeting.”

There are times, let the bells ring and the banners fly, when the man gets it right— no matter how odd the gift. Donna Fawcett asked for a wheelbarrow for Christmas... and her husband gave it to her.

Along with the horse shoeing hammer another year and three cows (already in calf) for a birthday.

who didn’t give romantic gifts, it would be a good example to follow. Instead he gave Wiens a set of tools.

“I used the tools more than the necklace, but the watch came in handy until it got broke working with the cattle” says Wiens.

There’s not enough space in the world for the volume of stories that could be written about men, women and gift giving. But, as long as men continue to be waffles and women continue to be spaghetti, women will continue to run to their rooms sobbing, “How could you?” while men stand there dazed and confused.

Robert White is editor of ChristianWeek Ontario and prepares the PULSE department for SEVEN.

One year, Tammy Wiens’s then 12-year-old son bought her a fancy watch and necklace, telling his dad,

seven – issue four january–february 2009 page 27

Out of my depth

Enough Risky faith beckons to greater contentment

by Phil Wagler I remember the moment like it was yesterday. Our family had moved to a new community and I had a new job with less pay. We had downsized of our own free will because of what we believed to be the will of our heavenly Father.

To top it all off, we were a single income family with one child and another on the way. But, not just any lovechild freely conceived in a fit of logic-suspending passion. Oh no, the critter on the way was being adopted internationally. This was family addition that had turned into calculus. Not only had we chosen to adopt because of another of God’s clearly cloudy calls (and to pay handsomely for it), but we had just accepted that His will meant having less money to do it all with. Who spiked the tap water?

And so it was I came to that dark day sitting in my new office all too keenly aware of our lack. Fees were due to bureaucracies without sympathy and lawyers with more than enough. The cash simply was not there.

To be honest I was a mess as I stared out the window unable to focus on the day’s tasks.

My wife and I had been praying, scrimping and scrounging. Neither God nor either of us seemed to have a solution. The lottery seemed temptingly to have better odds.

My glazed gaze was interrupted by a knock on the door. I opened it to the welcome sight of a friend and mentor from our previous community. He was passing through and thought he’d stop by—long time no see; a sight for sore eyes. I wanted to spill all my angst, anxiety and anger.

Which, of course I didn’t. I was too manly for that; too blessedly proud and pompous.

Instead, we talked over a whole host of

things. The job. The weather. Politics.

Church. Faith. Family. Sports. We ran the gamut, but never got to the core of my pain and anguish. Eventually he rose to leave. As he approached the door, however, he stopped. “Oh, I almost forgot,” he reminded himself and reached into his jacket explaining that he and his wife had been praying for us. Then, rather unceremoniously, he placed a wad of rolled up bills in my hand—$500. Enough to cover this round of dues and fees. Enough to keep moving forward in faith. Silence. Gratitude.

Tears. Enough.

Money comes and goes; God does not.

“Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you,” says the New Testament writer (Hebrews 13:5). We tend to apply these words to only the lonely. We elicit them to comfort the afflicted and discouraged. This is all well and good and wonderfully Hallmarkish. But. But, the context of these words is startling given these days of economic upheaval and the rash worship of accumulation in our culture. “Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, ‘Never will I leave you….” God’s promise to be present is a knock-on-thedoor reminder to flee our fretting over and infatuation with money. Money comes and goes; God does not.

Pushed further we discover that this quote is pulled from Deuteronomy in the Old Testament. There, Moses is passing his leadership mantle to Joshua. The wizened saint encourages his people and protégé, because they were as nervous as we can be in seasons of transition and tumult, “…he will never leave you nor forsake you” (Deut. 31:6,8).

The Israelites were about to enter a new land, with new uncertainties and potential risks and losses. What should have been the glorious fulfillment of God’s promise and leading presence was turning into a fret-fest. How would they ever survive?

The wilderness can be hard to live in, but it can be equally hard to leave.

He will never leave. We are not forsaken.

He is present. Be content. Love the Lord alone. Be free. God knows. He is not flummoxed by what is seemingly spinning out of control. He knows what we need, and when. He keeps His promises.

Our quandaries are no surprise to Him. All may appear empty, but He will be enough.

I remember that day like it was yesterday and it frees me. He is enough. And His enough beckons me to greater contentment, adoration and risky faith because He has promised.

Phil Wagler is lead pastor of Kingsfield, a multiplying movement of rural churches in Ontario. He and Jen now have four children, and that’s enough.

seven – issue four january–february 2009 page 29

power play

Great games. Great toys.

Great gadgets.

Reviews by Sandy McMurray

SNOWBALL BLASTER www.hammacher.com Who brings a gun to a snowball fight? You, if you’re smart. The Snowball Blaster from Hammacher Schlemmer makes and launches softballsized snowballs up to 80 feet.

Simply place loose snow in the “forming chamber” and close the lid. The Snowball Blaster packs three perfect snowballs at a time. Place one snowball in the muzzle, aim the launcher, and pull back the slingshot mechanism and release.

The Snowball Blaster is powered by “elastomers” instead of batteries, so you can enjoy uninterrupted, fast-action play until your opponents retreat to Mommy begging for hot chocolate.

pins, an elastic waistband, duct tape, white-out and a 32-page Instruction MAN-u-al that clearly demonstrates the ins and outs of proper maintenance and repair. Turn underwear into ever-wear with the Men’s Underwear Repair Kit.

too late? The Financial Software site at About.com features the best software for Windows, Mac and Linux, as well as free online tools like Mint.com. Plan now and you’ll have fewer headaches by the time the RRSP commercials show up on TV.

ZING! FOOD LAUNCHER

DEAD ON ANNIHILATOR

www.worldwidefred.com/zing.htm Your mother probably told you not to play with your food. That was good advice when you were a toddler who didn’t want to finish the vegetables on your plate. Now that you’re an adult, perhaps it’s time you decided which food is best for eating and which is best for launching.

www.deadonstore.com Have you ever wished for a tool that would make you the envy of other men? Look no further than Dead On tools. Consider the Dead On Annihilator: the baddest, meanest tool you’ve ever seen.

Unlike other wimpy wrecking bars, this baby is 14” of shiny metal attitude.

Price to move at $39.99, the Annihilator is perfect for smashing, cracking and chipping away at tile and brick, and for literally dozens of other pry bar uses.

If you have no use for a pry bar, try the Dead On “Exhumer” nail puller or the “Death Stick” hammer.

MEN’S UNDERWEAR REPAIR KIT www.amazon.ca At some point in your life, you have probably had an argument with your mother or your wife about an old pair of underwear. Most guys have at least one pair of briefs that’s older than their children, but women don’t seem to understand the value of comfortable, reliable, familiar underwear.

At some point, you must admit that the hole-y garments might need some work. And that’s where the Men’s Underwear Repair Kit comes in. This handy package includes all the tools you need, including needle and thread, iron-on patches, two safety

seven – issue four january–february 2009 page 30

RACE CAR NIGHT LIGHT

The Zing! food launcher is perfect for sending those green vegetables flying, whether you’re conducting simple physics experiments or you’re engaged in a full-scale food fight. Buy one for your Mom today.

FINANCIAL SOFTWARE http://financialsoft.about.com/ No one wants to open the credit card bills this time of year, but you’re going to have to think about money sometime soon. Tax time is just around the corner.

Why not get organized before it’s

www.restorationhardware.com/ Do you have a light in your hallway, near the bathroom?

Is it a two-dollar WalMart special, or one of those eerie green fluorescent squares?

Does it double as an air freshener or play music?

Can you imagine it on a racetrack?

The Race Car Night Light has a lot of “toys for boys” appeal. By day, it’s a shiny racecar. By night, its two headlights point the way to the bathroom, and you can imagine it’s racing by moonlight.

Not recommended for sleepwalkers with traffic nightmares.

THE RIMROLLER www.rimroller.com

How do you roll up the rim during Tim Hortons annual coffee cup promotion?

Do you use your thumbs? Your teeth? Do you take the cups home and use scissors?

Canadian inventor Paul Kind saw an opportunity. He developed The Rimroller— a simple, affordable tool that keeps your thumbs dry. Push the curved clip down on the rim to slice it open, then pull up again to reveal the inevitable “Try Again” message underneath. Or maybe you’re a winner.

The Rimroller makes it easy to find out.

They’re particularly serious about the bacon. Justin and Dave are the inventors of Bacon Salt, which combines two things guys love: bacon and salt. They’re on a quest to make everything taste like bacon.

Not satisfied to rest on their laurels, these bacontrepreneurs recently came up with a brand new product called Baconnaise, to satisfy customers who crave bacon in a spreadable form.

It took six months to develop, and the guys estimate that product testing took two years off their lives, but they finally did it. If you agree that everything should taste like bacon, you’ll love Justin and Dave. Visit their web site at jdfoods.net to find out where you can buy J&D’s Bacon Salt, Baconnaise, and Bacon-Flavoured Lip Balm.

Sandy McMurray writes about gadgets, food and other fun stuff at FunSpot.ca

BACON SALT www.jdfoods.net Justin and Dave are two regular guys who love life, grilling, football and bacon.

seven – issue four january–february 2009 page 31

money matters

Control your credit card balance… …before it controls you

by Paul Emerton In 1987, 17.6 million credit cards were tucked in the wallets of Canadians. Twenty years later, the number of credit cards in Canada had grown to almost 65 million while the value of annual purchases made with credit cards increased more than 10 times.

The hard truth: More credit cards mean more credit card debt per person; many Canadians are swamped by their monthly credit card obligations.

Credit card debt is painful because often it developed as a result of unnecessary purchases, leaving only unpaid balances subject to high interest charges. If your credit card balances are out of control, here’s how to take control and prevent a recurrence.

Do you really want to spend more money than necessary? Research proves that consumers spend substantially more money when purchasing with credit cards than with cash. If you’re intent on budget restraint, use cash or debit cards.

More cards mean more debt. Don’t get caught in the good-credit cycle that qualifies you for higher credit limits on

existing cards and offers of new credit cards. The more cards you carry in your wallet, the more likely your debts will grow to an unmanageable level.

Resist introductory low rates for new credit cards. Some cards promise unusually low interest rates for new cardholders, suggesting they use their new card to pay off their old credit card debt. But read the fine print: When does the introductory low-interest period end? What will the new rate be? Does the new card include annual or monthly fees? Will a transfer fee be charged when moving one credit card balance to another?

Remember how credit card companies make money. It’s from the interest charged on your unpaid balance. Typically, this ranges from 12 to 18 per cent annually (retail department stores may charge 28.8 per cent). At those rates, credit card companies want you to maintain a substantial balance as long as you make minimum payments because it maximizes their profit. They actually have a name for people who pay their credit card balance each month and avoid

interest charges—“deadbeats.”

Get your credit card debt under control.

Here’s how: Destroy all but one or two of your current credit cards. Keep the cards with the lowest interest rate and no annual service fee.

Pay off the card with the highest interest rate first. This card represents the biggest drain on your budget.

Wherever possible, pay for purchases with cash or a debit card. You cannot reduce the balance on your credit cards if you keep adding charges to them.

Remember: Credit cards are not a source of income; they are a convenient on-the-spot loan that must be paid back, often at very high interest rates.

Let us consider our responsibility as stewards of the resources entrusted to us.

With faith that God does care and supply for our every need, we can begin to serve others in the communities in which we live.

“And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus” (Phil. 4:19).

Paul Emerton is a Certified Financial Planner and Senior Training Specialist with FaithLife Financial.

“Tastes lousy, eh?”

seven – issue four january–february 2009 page 32

department

SHAPE UP

by Todd Llewys Nutrition: Don’t Take The Easy Way Out Guys seem to enjoy salt-laden/deepfried foods like fries, chips, fried chicken and pizza. While it’s fine to treat yourself to some of these foods maybe once or twice a week, most guys lead a blitzkrieg lifestyle that makes it difficult to eat nutritiously and don’t adhere to this common sense rule of thumb.

Granted, it isn’t easy to eat healthy. Go to any grocery store, and the least expensive foods are almost always high in fat, salt and trans fats—all the bad stuff that clogs arteries and expands waistlines in record time. Refuse to take the easy way out. If you actually take the time to look at the products on the shelves and in the freezers, there are many healthy alternatives to Delissio pizzas, ripple chips, peanuts and pizza pops.

“Getting back in shape is a process–a process that takes time. It took time to gain all that weight; it will take time to lose it.”

If you love salty snacks like potato chips, don’t automatically reach for the Original Lays. Take a look around for the Baked Lays, which contain only a fraction of the fat of the originals as well as a significantly lower percentage of salt. Another good substitute for potato chips are baked Crispers by Christie, which come in several flavours.

Really in the mood for a salty snack?

Then get the Baked Lays, some fat-free sour cream and onion soup mix to create a tasty onion dip. This way, when you indulge your craving, you won’t be loading up on fat and salt.

Other suggestions: why not try a neat product like Presidents Choice multigrain Burger First buns? One bun has only 190 calories. Spread on a bit of spaghetti sauce and Parmesan cheese and bake in the oven for 10 minutes. This creates two mini pizzas with nutritional value. Or, try some Yves veggie pepperoni. It tastes just like the real thing, and makes a great low fat, low sodium snack that will satisfy your hunger.

Get Away From Those Gadgets Time to be honest here: pretty much any guy you meet is likely to be a “gadget guy.”

What do I mean by gadgets? To put it bluntly, toys. This can mean a host of different things—a computer, big screen TV (with accompanying surround sound and the mother of all sub-woofers to boost already loud sound effects even further), power tools, a boat or treasured automobile.

Hobbies that spring from a love of gadgets aren’t bad in and of themselves.

But if you’re not careful, they can fill up too much time that might better be used for different activities such as playing ball with your kids, going for a walk with your wife or throwing a football around with a few buddies.

Thus, it’s time to cultivate a love for gadgets that can help keep your body in reasonable fighting trim. How about a mountain bike you can use to go on rides with your better half kids? Or a set of weights that will help keep your muscles strong—and reaction time quick—so you can continue to shine on the ice or field well into your 40s?

This isn’t to say that you can’t compromise a bit here. If you get bored pedaling an exercise bike, designate an area as an exercise room and put up a 20-inch flat panel in front of the bike (and by the weights) so you can watch hockey or football as you work out. Or, have a mini stereo on hand to play tunes that inspire you to get physical.

The point is to identify if your love of gadgetry is holding you back from doing something very important: taking care of your body, even if it’s only in moderate fashion. Take a hard look at the time you spent surfing through YouTube, playing computer games or watching sports or movies on your flat panel television.

If (and be honest here) it’s evident you’re spending more time on the computer or playing Madden 2009—and your clothes are getting too tight—then it’s time to get some gadgets that will help you get fit and stay that way.

Mental Side: Pay Heed to Positive, Not Negative, Thoughts Good for you: you’ve decided to get back into shape, joined a gym and are pursuing your goal of losing 20 pounds in six months. The good news is that you’ve already shed a pound or two; the bad news is that all sorts of negative thoughts are bombarding you. Without question, some of these thoughts come from habits formed long ago, such as a poor self-image when you were overweight as a youngster.

That said, now that you’ve accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and Saviour, you’ve now entered new territory—spiritually as well as physically. On the positive side, He who is within us will encourage us to discard the “old man” and move forward.

This is a process that is going to take time.

Neither our minds nor our bodies will be renewed immediately. We’re works in progress and changes take time.

On the negative side is the enemy, or Satan, who wants to keep us deceived and under his thumb. In this case—your plan to get fit again—he won’t want you to make progress toward the “new you.”

Consequently, he will bombard you with negative thoughts—i.e. you’ve always been fat and will never get back in shape. Or he’ll suggest you’re just too tired to go and work out or take a long walk after a hard, stressful day at work.

If that doesn’t work, he may even strike you with a desire to take up smoking again after going smokeless for five years. He may turn your thoughts toward pornography or other fruitless pursuits. This is when getting into Scripture and prayer becomes your weapon. Speak God’s word against the bad thoughts you’re getting, and pray for His help to overcome them. Also, phone a close friend and have him pray with you about these thoughts—even make him your regular work out partner.

With that support (the word says a twofold cord is not easily broken) —and listening to the positive thoughts God gives you—you will undoubtedly attain the fitness goals you set.

Todd Llewys is a Winnipeg-based sports writer and fitness enthusiast. seven – issue four january–february 2009 page 33

What women want

And the Two Shall Share One Wallet

by Sheila Wray Gregoire What do you do for fun? Rent a movie?

Watch it on your HDTV? Attempt to use power tools? And your wife, for fun, may do something even scarier. She may go shopping.

Fun today costs money. The days when people had fun by hanging out on their verandas and chatting with neighbours are long gone. Today our leisure comes with a price tag. For that matter, so do our goals.

Do you want to buy a larger house? Pay off your mortgage? Start a new business?

All of these revolve around money, too.

It’s no wonder, then, that conflicts over money are still the cause of most marriage break-ups. After all, we may trust our spouses to be faithful, or to look after the children, or even to leave us the last piece of chocolate cake. But we don’t trust them with our money. That “two becomes one” thing stops at the bank account. In fact, marriage therapist Barton Goldsmith says that in his experience, couples find it harder to talk about money than to talk about sex.

Money is too close to our hearts.

So let’s let it all hang out today. I think many men hold onto their roles of provider and “head of the house” as an excuse to keep control over the money. That’s not godliness; it’s a power trip. Many of my friends live on allowances doled out to them by their husbands, as if these women were children themselves.

That’s insulting! There’s nothing wrong with budgeting, of course; allocating money for specific categories is a responsible way of handling the finances.

But when you make all those decisions, and don’t even give your wife a bank card, some major control issues are at play.

Obviously some people are irresponsible

with money. One friend of mine asked her husband to cut up her credit cards when she realized her spending was out of control.

Ignoring overspending isn’t loving; it’s cowardly because you’re pushing problems down the road until they become a crisis. But when a guy tries to control the finances in the absence of these problems, something deeper is going on. And you’re never going to be intimate unless you can share everything. Even your wallet.

Maybe you’re not a controlling kind of guy, though. Maybe you have the opposite problem. You honestly have no idea how much money you have—or don’t have. According to Statistics Canada, the average consumer debtload is $30,000 per every man, woman, and child. Most couples spend 10 per cent more than they make each year. We are too seduced by what money can buy. It’s that same heart issue.

Financial security, though, is really quite simple. Earn money. Spend less money than you earn. Repeat! Sure it would be nice to keep new gadgets and not pay the consequences, but that’s not how the world works. So take a deep breath and stop hiding from that bank statement.

And do you realize that when you face your money fears, you simultaneously break down walls with your wife?

Our biggest dream is to be intoxicating to you. Too often, though, we lose out to your job, or to the Home Depot sale, or to your new computer. We feel like we play second fiddle. When you let go of the hold of material things, we feel much more cherished.

Recently my husband Keith and I were talking with my brother-in-law, who was

bemoaning the fact that though all the boys in the family are professionals, on one is really wealthy.

My husband, though, noted that this all depended on your definition of rich.

So his brother tossed this back: “Rich is when you can go into a store and buy whatever you want without thinking about it.”

Keith quickly retorted, “If all you want can be found in the dollar store, then we’re all loaded!”

I think Keith’s right. Rich has very little to do your bank account. It has everything to do with your heart. If you’re satisfied in the home God’s given you with a loving family, you’re rich indeed. If you live in a mansion and own multiple vehicles, but you’re driven to get even more, you’re to be pitied. There’s nothing wrong with material success; there’s everything wrong with making that your primary goal.

Right now we’re entering an economic downturn. Over the next few years money may be tight. But your marriage can sail through as long as money isn’t at the centre of your hearts.

Ultimately, does your money own you, or do you own your money? The answer to that question says a lot about our souls and about our marriages. We had better start getting it right.

Sheila is the author of several marriage books, including Honey, I Don’t Have a Headache Tonight: Help for women who want to feel more in the mood.

You can find her speaking at marriage conferences around the country, or at www.SheilaWrayGregoire.com.

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seven – issue four january–february 2009 page 34

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