The Tech Issue (July/August 2010)

the tech issue

Newsstand Price CDN $4.95

july – august 2010

MISSION: To ignite and equip men to become fully devoted followers of Jesus Christ – resulting in homes, churches, workplaces, communities and nations impacted and shaped by the grace of God through the lives of men.

Walking With You… The King’s Men Study Guides WALKING WITH THE MASTER & SHOULDER TO SHOULDER The King’s Men is a series of discussions, studies, and activities that will engage men in a life of freedom, risk, sacrifice, and significance.

Discipleship Training Unleashed A weekend retreat where you can experience in-depth training to discover how to become a better equipped Godly man.

Using the 7 Promises of a Promise Keeper, men will journey through the life of Jesus and discover how He prepared His followers to be men the world would describe as those “who turned the world upside down.” (Acts 17:6)

Resources sent to your home SEVEN Magazine, Men of Integrity Devotional and World Class Speakers... Relevant biblical resources for your daily walk.

These small group resources will help you and your men’s group continue where the conference left off.

Visit www.PromiseKeepers.ca

FOR MORE INFORMATION ON WHAT

PROMISE KEEPERS CANADA CAN DO FOR YOU AND YOUR CHURCH.

contents

july — august, 2010

on the cover 14–24

The Tech Issue Real life ethics in a virtual world. SEVEN examines some of the upsides (and downsides) of life in our wired (and wireless) world.

Publisher: Brian Koldyk Managing Editor: Doug Koop Pulse Editor: Robert White

advertising account executives: WILLIAM LEIGHTON: william@christianweek.org DARRELL FRIESEN: darrell@christianweek.org JIM HICKS: jhicks@christianweek.org Unless otherwise indicated, neither ChristianWeek nor Promise Keepers Canada guarantee, warrant, or endorse any product, program, or service advertised.

features 14 World of Warcraft Widows Enjoy games without sacrificing real relationships.

18 Mobile Mischief in the Making Guidance for parents who want their children to be tech-savvy and tech-wise.

editorial advisory board KIRK GILES: Promise Keepers Canada JEFF STEARNS: Promise Keepers Canada PHIL WAGLER: Kingsfield Zurich MC SANDRA REIMER: Reimer Reason Communications DOUG KOOP: ChristianWeek

21 Facebook: Friends and Follies Social media is here to stay. Keep it in its place.

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22 Real life ethics in a virtual world Does what happens in Halo stay in Halo?

1295 North Service Road PO Box 40599 Burlington, ON L7P 4W1 (905) 331-1830 subscriptions@promisekeepers.ca Postmaster: Please send address changes to PO Box 40599, Burlington, ON L7P 4W1

24 Cyprian’s choice Techie purges prime collection.

ISSN 1916-8403 Cover: iStockphoto (base images + icon set)

columns

departments

5 PK Podium Master your own domains

8-12 Pulse Curious events. Interesting people. Good ideas.

6 Help Wanted Bring on the boundaries 26 Money Matters Ensuring your assets endure 27 Out of My Depth The tech of the Amish

13 Reviews Simplicity, plans and freedom 28 Power Play Tools. Toys. Technology.

Editorial and Advertising Office 204-424 Logan Avenue Winnipeg, MB R3A 0R4 Phone: (204) 982-2060 (800) 263-6695 admin@christianweek.org dkoop@christianweek.org Design: Indigo Ink Studios www.indigoinkstudios.com

30 What Women Want Face to face, side by side

SEVEN is a Christian magazine for Canadian men that exists to help men lead more fulfilling lives and leave enduring legacies.

The name reflects the seven promises that form the basis of the Promise Keepers organization, which works with churches to minister to men across Canada. one – A Promise Keeper is committed to honouring Jesus Christ through worship, prayer, and

obedience to God's word in the power of the Holy Spirit. two – A Promise Keeper is committed to pursuing vital relationships with a few other men, understanding that he needs brothers to help him keep his promises. three – A Promise Keeper is committed to practising spiritual, moral, ethical, and sexual purity.

four – A Promise Keeper is committed to building strong marriages and families through love, protection, and biblical values.

six – A Promise Keeper is committed to reaching beyond any racial and denominational barriers to demonstrate the power of biblical unity.

five – A Promise Keeper is committed to supporting the mission of the church by honouring and praying for his pastor, and by actively giving his time and resources.

seven – A Promise Keeper is committed to influencing his world, being obedient to the Great Commandment (see Mark 12:30-31) and the Great Commission (see Matt 28:19-20).

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PK Podium

Master your own domains There is so much more to life than BlackBerrys and iPads.

by Kirk Giles

On April 3, the latest toy was released for the world to enjoy. People stood in line for hours and hundreds of thousands of units have been sold. It is somewhat fascinating to consider the lengths some people will go to obtain a square screen that you can push buttons on (otherwise known as the iPad).

Technology impacts our lives every day, and to be honest, some technology is just plain fun. I enjoy my Xbox 360, my computer, TV and even my BlackBerry (at times).

It is amazing to consider how medical technology helps people heal so much faster than they ever did before, or how Internet technology allows me to communicate with my family so easily while I am travelling. The fact that you are reading this magazine is due, in part, to the advance of technology.

Obviously, there are dangers to technology. While we need to be aware of those dangers and understand how to deal with them, these dangers should not impede the positive uses for technology.

Perhaps the greatest danger with technology is when the technology starts to control you.

Several years ago, there was a major electrical blackout that affected a large portion of Ontario and the eastern United States. For several days, I had to go without the use of my e-mail, computer

or TV. Some people imagine this to be like heaven on Earth. I felt disconnected and frustrated. I was shocked at how dependent I had become on technology.

Then, something mysterious happened.

I sat outside one night and, for the first time in a long time, I could see all of the stars light up the sky. There was no light pollution to block my view. I sat next to my kids and just stared and admired the beauty of God’s creation. In that moment, I realized how much my own reliance on technology had separated me from enjoying God and His beautiful handiwork.

In 1 Corinthians 6:12 we read, “‘Everything is permissible for me’—but not everything is beneficial. ‘Everything is permissible for me’—but I will not be mastered by anything.”

I will not be mastered by anything!

I am so grateful for technology. It allows us to communicate the message of Jesus to thousands of men every year. Technology has allowed me the opportunity to build and keep great memories with my family.

However, make sure that you are not mastered by technology.

I want to challenge you to consider a fast from technology to see if it has control over your life. Take the time to reconnect with family or enjoy God’s creation. In my case, I was forced to fast from it—and I am so grateful for that. Don’t wait until a major blackout occurs to rediscover that there is so much more to life than all those cool apps on the iPad.

Kirk Giles is president of Promise Keepers Canada.

He and Shannon have been married for 15 years.

They are the parents of four children, ages 7-14.

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help wanted

Plugged-in world creates tough questions How do we best navigate a wireless minefield?

by Rod Wilson

My company wants me to start carrying a Blackberry. I am worried that this will negatively affect my personal time and lead to them expecting me to jump 24 hours a day. How do I set reasonable boundaries and keep my job?

The world of technology has put us in a position where we need to make decisions that were not even on the table 10 years ago. Some people still speak against technology and refuse to use these “new gadgets;” many of us are in situations where Blackberrys and the like are a requirement of our employment.

We have a responsibility to our employer to carry out our responsibilities with integrity and to be respectful and responsive to those who are in authority over us. Barring situations where we are asked to engage in behaviours that are immoral or unethical, a request to carry a Blackberry is appropriate and should be respected.

Some workplaces take seriously the personal life of their employees and do not expect a 24-7 mindset. When this is not the case there are two options. Speak with your superiors about your lifestyle and circumstances and assure them that, while you are able to work efficiently and effectively, you cannot always be available and you would like to work out a mutually beneficial arrangement. If that does not work out you may conclude that this particular job is not for you because of its intrusion into your lifestyle.

Most of us struggle however, not with what the company expects, but with our own inability to pull away from work and not answer every call and e-mail right away.

Our anxiety about being disconnected may have more to do with our addiction to technology and a sense of indispensability than company expectations.

Rod Wilson is president of Regent College in Vancouver, where he also serves as professor of Counselling and Psychology.

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We are very careful about the video games my 12-year-old son plays at home.

I just found out he is playing a lot of games at friends’ houses and some of them are not appropriate. How do I control what he plays without losing his friends?

One of the problems with having a 12year-old is that he is young enough to be told what to do and when, but old enough to decide on his own what to do and when.

Many parents who have children this age are stressed, worried and frustrated.

The move from dependence (others tell you what to do) to independence (doing what you want to do as a reaction against others), through to interdependence (working in concert with others to determine what you believe is the right thing to do) is a painful process. Wise parents know the journey to interdependence requires them to provide parameters, guidance, counsel and boundaries so their child learns to make decisions not because he has been told to but because he believes it is right.

It is appropriate for us to prevent our children from engaging in certain behaviours that we believe are not in their best interest, physically, morally and spiritually. In doing so we also need to explain the “why.” Teaching abstention from anything compels us to provide the rationale. What is wrong with this particular video game? What are you concerned about? Why are you establishing rules of this sort? It will also help to explain what your child might say to a friend who suggests a particular game.

One hopes that over time children will modify their behaviour as a result of our influence. More importantly, we also trust that their convictions and attitudes will deepen and become rooted in a godly character so they make appropriate choices. As our children move in this direction we need to be understanding, patient and forgiving.

My 21-year-old spends all his time working or playing video games. He needs a life. I feel like kicking him out to wake him up but my wife won’t hear it.

You can take some reassurance from the fact that at least your son works. Many parents find themselves in a situation where their 21-year-old plays video games all the time and does not have a life.

Those who have not grown up in the video generation can easily forget that we had comparable activities when we were younger. So while there is a part of me that loves waxing eloquent on why more young people are not outside playing road hockey and baseball, the fact is that screens have replaced nets and a mouse has been substituted for a baseball bat.

Many 21-year-olds remain at home because they have no job, no money and no prospects of either. This creates tension for parents as they are torn between care for someone who has nothing and a hope that their child will have some initiative and move on with his life. The fact your son is working is a good sign. Encourage that aspect rather than criticize his gaming.

The term “a life” is an interesting one.

What is “a life” for you? For your wife? For your son? Often we do not take the time to sit down with someone to find out what is important to them, what they want to pursue and to help determine whether the absence of interest in “life” reflects inability, confusion, unwillingness or bad attitudes or habits. Maybe your son is tired of playing video games and wishes someone would coach him toward other interests and support him in them.

Kicking anyone out of our home usually says more about the attitude of the kicker than the actions of the one being kicked.

While many of us have family members who need to learn consequences for their behaviour, they also need clear communication offered in a loving and caring way. Your son may need to leave, but with both his feet on the sidewalk.

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pulse

Curiousities. Personalities.

Ideas. Information.

by Robert White PULSE Editor

HOW MUCH INFLUENCE DO FATHERS HAVE OVER SONS?

PASTOR PROMOTES “QUEST FOR CLARITY” Waterloo pastor Darren Ethier began his Unfolding Neurons blog (unfoldingneurons.com) as a “place where I can unload my brain.” Now, four years after stepping into the blogosphere, Ethier’s space opens the door for readers to consider what Jesus may mean for their life.

The father of four and assistant pastor at Waterloo Pentecostal Assembly has been using new technologies in ministry for about a decade. While he was a pastor at Hanover Pentecostal Church, Ethier posted his sermons online but was always looking for a better use of technology.

After coming across a weblog tool called WordPress, Ethier discovered the world of blogging. “I thought I’d enjoy blogging rather than just posting sermons,” he says. “The Unfolding Neurons blog came from a desire to post things I’d never found time to write before.

“It’s a place where I can unfold the stuff folded up in my brain,” says Ethier. “The tag line is ‘the quest for clarity’ and I look at the whole idea of clarity in all aspects of life.” The blog is still evolving but gets about 150 unique hits a day.

Ethier says blogging itself is easy and encourages churches to get involved. “There are so many tools out there you don’t need to know any coding or worry about the mechanics behind it—you can just write.”

He has a few hints for those wanting to enter the blogosphere.

First, Ethier suggests you blog with passion and, “the best thing you can write about is your story.” You also need to decide if you’ll host a “closed” or “open” blog—where you allow readers to comment and create a conversation. Unfolding Neurons is an open blog where Ethier replies to comments but can remove those that are too negative.

Finally, Ethier says to “always be growing in terms of what you read and expose yourself to. Find some good writers and read them.”

The controversial Nike ad featuring Tiger Woods and his late father sparked www.newmanmag.com editor Chris Glazier to reflect on the relationship between fathers and sons. The ad began airing just before the Masters Tournament in April—when Woods returned to golf following a much publicized moral downfall. The television commercial features a grainy, black-andwhite close-up shot of a sombre Tiger while the voice of Earl Woods questions him: “I want to find out what your thinking was. I want to find out what your feelings are. And, did you learn anything?”

Glazier writes, “What I find interesting about the story isn’t as much the content of the ad as the sheer magnitude of public reaction it’s garnering. Clearly it’s striking a chord with people.

Why? The questions being asked of Tiger are ones he already has answered in interviews with reporters. What’s different this time?

It’s different because his dad is the one asking the questions.

“The relationship between fathers and sons is a very personal one to men. You don’t often see it talked about publicly; and when it is, it often arouses deep emotions. It’s why every guy cries at the end of Field of Dreams, and it’s why people are so caught up on this 30-second advertisement.”

The story of Earl Woods’ influence over his son’s career is legendary. Probably the most touching moment of Tiger’s career was when he won the British Open after his father’s death in 2006 and broke into tears after the last putt—a rare display of emotion from him. He dedicated the victory to his father.

“However, also well known is that Earl was divorced from Tiger’s mother and wasn’t a faithful husband,” writes Glazier.

“Given the firestorm of drama around Tiger’s own affairs, the ad

Tiger and Earl Woods

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seems to bring up the question of how much Earl had to do with his son’s infidelities. Did he display habits that led to his son’s problems? Would he have been able to steer Tiger in a better direction if he were still alive?”

Glazier closes his column with this warning: “If you’re a dad, it’s a stark reminder of how much influence you have on your son’s life and how important it is to raise him to love God. If you are a son, it’s a call to live a life your father would be proud of.”

CANADIAN HEADING UP LAUSANNE CONGRESS IT TEAM The Lausanne Congress has always been on the cutting edge, starting in 1974 when Billy Graham gathered 2,700 people from 150 nations in the Swiss Alps for 10 days of discussion, fellowship, worship and prayer.

This year’s Cape Town Congress—from October 16 to 25—will keep the legacy alive by using technology to connect the 4,500 delegates in South Africa with each other and the rest of the world.

In charge of this task is 25-year IT veteran Dan Sinclair. The Toronto resident is a principal with Psymetrics Global, a leader in helping the travel industry learn how to use the Internet effectively. For the past two years Sinclair has: • Developed an online delegate nomination/registration system; • Created a “global conversation” (http://conversation.lausanne.org/) portal where delegates can read and respond to issue papers before, during and after the congress; • Created a global town square (http://www.lausanne.org/cape-town-2010/globalink.html) for colleges, Bible schools, seminaries, churches or small groups. To date, 300 centres have signed up to watch the conference live or download portions and hold their own discussions about the issues;

• Connected with London, England’s IML Audience Response Systems to create an instant feedback system for congress organizers.

“This is the first time Lausanne has been held in the era of Internet technology,” says Sinclair, whose plan was to have all the software completed by mid-May. “It’s overwhelming.”

But one of Sinclair’s major challenges has already been solved: access to inexpensive Internet bandwidth. “The cost of bandwidth in South Africa is horrendously expensive,” he says. An initial budget of $250,000 proved severely inadequate when the first quote came in at $1.8 million. “It was more than our whole IT budget.

“There was a lot of prayer and we engaged some experts and started to get the price down with some innovative thinking.” And then a change to South Africa’s telecom regulations—and new fibre optic cable brought in for this summer’s South Africa-hosted World Cup—brought the price down even further.

“It was purely an act of God. We got everything for $100,000. It was truly a miracle as far as we can see,” says Sinclair. (www.lausanne.org, www.capetown2010.com)

CELL PHONES AND LAPTOPS BLESSED A British priest updated an ages-old back-to-work ceremony by asking city workers in London’s financial district to bring in their cell phones and laptops for a blessing.

In England the first Monday after Epiphany—this year it was January 6—is known as “Plow Monday.” In the service dating back to 1378, English villagers dragged a symbolic farming tool to the church’s door for a blessing. Women also brought their distaffs, the sticks which held the wool or flax they spun by hand with spinning wheels.

Parish priest David Parrott says the ceremony didn’t really apply to his church which, in the middle of the city, was “nowhere

Canon David Platt blessing mobile phones and old laptops.

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pulse

near a field.” Instead he offered to bless a pile of high-tech laptops and smart phones on the altar of London’s 17th-century St. Lawrence Jewry church. Parishioners also took out their mobiles while the priest recited a blessing over them. “It’s the technology that’s our daily working tool, and it’s a technology we should bless,” says Parrott.

St. Lawrence Jewry is the official church of the Corporation of the City of London, which runs the capital’s financial district. The priest hoped the ceremony made worship “lively and relevant” to the workers. (www.anglicanplanet.net).

UNDERSTANDING TEENS Every 20 years a shift takes place. Since the Second World War, we’ve witnessed the arrival of Baby Boomers (1945-65), Gen X (1965-85) and Millennials (1985-2005). Defining dates aren’t exact, with “transitional generations” that combine some of the thinking and values of the generation before and after.

Canadians born in 1985 and later seem to be a more diverse group than previous generations. So how does their view of life and way of doing things differ? University of Lethbridge sociologist Reginald Bibby’s most recent study, “The Emerging Millennials: How Canada’s Newest Generation is Responding to Change and Choice,” based on thousands of interviews, offers an authoritative snapshot.

“Project Teen Canada 2008,” the latest study, shows teens continue to value honesty, politeness and concern for others.

While friends and music remain very significant for teens, a couple of things have changed over the past decade.

There’s been a big jump in the proportion who say they have “four or more” close friends—with interracial friendships more common now because of multiculturalism. Because of a focus on relationships and music, five per cent fewer (40 per cent) are keeping up with the news than a decade ago.

In June 2009, Project Teen Canada told the country there was a major decline in teenage interest in the National Hockey League over the past two decades. Surveys show, since about 1990, teenage interest in the NHL dropped from 45 per cent to 35 per cent. The teenage decline in interest extends to all other major sports as well.

Young people’s entertainment choices have exploded. We’re witnessing what some social trends’ observers refer to as the “death of the monoculture.”

The result is the fragmentation of every kind

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of market. This has led to decreasing market shares, whether in fashion, electronics, TV viewing, music, reading or pro sports.

The options extend to lifestyle, resulting in diverse choices when it comes to family life, education, religion and morality. The “monocultural casualties” among young people include drinking, smoking and sex—even vices have to compete for teenagers’ attention.

To get a copy of “Ten Things We All Need to Know About Today’s Teens,” a 64-page booklet summing up The Emerging Millennials, along with other Bibby writings, check www.projectcanadabooks.com/thelatestbooks.html. (www.canadianchristianity.com)

INTERNET USE TRUMPS TV WATCHING More people now use the Internet than watch TV reports the “Inter@ctive Reid Report,” an Ipsos Reid study that tracks online Canadians’ usage of the Internet. Overall, Canadians now spend more than 18 hours a week online, compared to 16.9 hours watching TV. Both Internet use and TV watching are up from last year’s figures of 14.9 hours and 15.8 hours respectively.

Interestingly, men spend more time online than women (20 hours compared to 16). Also interesting is the small gap between age groups: on average, 18 to 34-year-olds spend 20 hours a week online, compared to 18 hours for those over the age of 35.

Television on the other hand is different. Canadians aged 55plus are more likely to watch more TV each week (20 hours compared to 15 hours for 35 to 54-year-olds and 13 hours for 18 to 34-year-olds). And those with university educations watch less TV each week: 15 hours, compared to about 17.5 hours for those without university educations.

“Our look shows Canadians consume more and more content online than they previously watched on television or content they simply didn’t have access to,” says study author Mark Laver. “Not only has the recession likely acted as a disrupting factor, but the

Internet is poised to take the next step in our lives as it delivers more and more entertainment content to Canadians in their homes and on the go.”

PRIVACY ISSUES SPARK TEEN SIBLING FIGHTS Ever heard these words come from your teenaged kids: “Get out of my room.” “You took my jacket.” “These are my friends. Go away.” Chances are if you have, the one yelling is around 12 or 13 years old and the one being yelled at is a couple of years younger.

And social scientists now explain why the argument has reached the decibel level of a jet taking off.

“The older one is just heading into the teen years, just asking for more autonomy,” explains Nicole Campione-Barr, assistant professor of psychological sciences at the University of Missouri.

“They’re leaving behind childish ways and they often see the younger sibling holding them back.”

Campione-Barr recently co-authored a study, found in the journal Child Development, which explains the reason behind these not-so-harmless tiffs: teens react against what they see as privacy infringements, no matter who is the intruder. A brother or sister intruding on a teen’s personal space leads to the most frequent conflict between adolescent siblings and the most likely to have a negative impact on their trust and communication.

“As we get older our personal domain gets bigger,” explains Campione-Barr. “It’s important in sibling relationships: the personal things they don’t want to share, pieces of themselves they don’t want to give up.”

To help keep the peace, she tells parents to be aware of a teen’s autonomy. “Kids are always being told to share with a brother or sister and to let them tag along. That can seem highly invasive to the older sibling.”

The study didn’t find much difference between siblings of the same sex and brother-sister pairs. “We may have needed more siblings to detect that,” she says. However, it did find sisters seemed to do the best in terms of trust and communication.

Campione-Barr plans a follow-up study looking at how the conflicts change over time and impact individual adjustment. (www.parentcentral.ca)

male. Male studies “isn’t to look at a few men who are CEOs and have a tremendous amount of money. I’m talking about what Australians call a bloke. Today’s five-and six-year-old boys into their 20s just don’t know who they’re supposed to be.”

The stats stagger: in the latest recession, 82 per cent of those who lost jobs in the United States were men. Boys and young men are four times more likely to commit suicide than girls and young women. Boys are far more likely to be diagnosed with ADHD and put on Ritalin.

In the United States, women outlive men by an average of seven years. In Eastern Europe the gap is 15 years. At universities in the United States and Canada, women make up about 60 per cent of the student population, men only 40 per cent, a dramatic reversal from the early days of feminism.

Amid this growing divide between the sexes, 90 per cent of the academic resources for gender studies are devoted to women, says professor Edward Stephens, chairman of the newly launched Foundation for Male Studies. Stephens aims to raise US$2-million or more to endow a chair for the discipline at a major university.

In its infancy, the proposed field of study already attracted some dissention—from men. Specifically, from professors in “men’s studies,” an academic subfield that started in the 1980s as

MALE STUDIES ABOUT MORE THAN RICH AND POWERFUL Worried about “the declining state of today’s male,” a group of scholars gathered at New York State’s Wagner College for a miniconference to tackle the problem.

Those at the conference, along with online participants from five continents, hope to set up a first for modern man: a male studies program. They hope to offer degrees in the new academic discipline at a major research university in the next couple of years.

While not exactly an endangered species, men are in danger of becoming an underclass, the panel warned.

“It’s just now beginning to surface in the job market, in academe and in the offices of counsellors and psychologists,” says Wagner professor Miles Groth, who specializes in the psychology of being

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part of women’s and gender studies programs.

Women’s studies programs got their start in the late 1960s— part of the second wave of feminist activism. But they’ve been on the wane in the past several years. Some programs such as the one at the University of Guelph have shut down altogether. Many others have changed their names to add more inclusive words such as “gender,” “sexuality” and “social justice.”

In the meantime, the foundation will put together a marketing plan and hold its first major conference in early October at the New York Academy of Medicine. The group will introduce Male Studies: An Interdisciplinary Journal next year. (www.nationalpost.com)

REDEEMER VOLLEYBALLER NAMED ATHLETE OF YEAR How did Redeemer University College’s Ryan Talsma top a year in which he was named the Ontario Colleges Athletic Association volleyball player of the year? By being named the OCAA’s 2009-10

Male Athlete of the Year.

A fourth-year Redeemer Royals volleyballer, Talsma finished his post-secondary athletic career as a three-time All-Canadian, the OCAA leader in Kills and Total Points and one of the most nationally-recognized OCAA volleyball players of all time.

Dave Mantel, athletic director of the Ancaster school, describes Talsma as “a beautiful person with an amazingly humble and mature character. His workmanlike attitude, without showy celebrations, helped set a tone for the team in every game and in every moment.”

Talsma “always showed sincere appreciation for his teammates’ efforts, rarely missing a chance to share the team’s successes. He truly appreciates everyone around him, showing a level of respect for others and the game of volleyball itself.”

Talsma is the second Redeemer athlete selected as an OCAA Athlete of the Year. In 2000-01, Anita Kralt was honoured for her accomplishments in both soccer and basketball.

Ryan Talsma finished his post-secondary athletic career as one of the most nationally-recognized OCAA volleyball players.

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reviews

SIMPLICITY, PLANS + FREEDOM PLAN B: WHAT TO DO WHEN GOD DOESN’T SHOW UP THE WAY YOU THOUGHT HE WOULD

By Pete Wilson Shattered dreams happen to everyone, insists Pete Wilson, a relatively young pastor who has discovered that life is full of inexplicable circumstances and that no one is ever fully in control of his own. Bad stuff happens to good people. Dark times come. Sorrows abound. The bottom line of Wilson’s message is to trust God anyhow.

Extracting lessons from biblical characters, Plan B dissects the varied human responses to bleak situations and discerns that God works in mysterious ways His wonders to perform. “We are called to be faithful to God even when it seems He hasn’t been faithful to us.

We are called to love Him even when we feel abandoned.

We are called to look for Him even in the midst of darkness.

We are called to worship Him even through our tears.”

THE REWARDS OF SIMPLICITY: A PRACTICAL AND SPIRITUAL APPROACH

By Pam and Chuck D. Pierce Why clutter the world with another book on simplification? Because our lives are more complicated than they need to be, and this is causing all kinds of problems.

“In today’s fast-paced and technologydriven times, Christians feel stressed out and overly busy. Many are left longing for simpler days, unaware that these days are within their grasp.” According to Pam Pierce, “the complications—both physical

and spiritual—that clutter our modern lives are a serious threat to our communion with the Father and our relationships with our family.” Her half of the book focuses on practical and spiritual simplicity. Chuck’s half discusses how to simply life by overcoming anxiety. “Simplification is not about making life easier,” he writes. “It’s about clearing away the cobwebs that obscure our vision.….It’s about being free from the distractions that keep us from truly knowing and fellowshipping with our families, our friends and our God.”

CAPTIVES OF MINARA

By Eric E. Wright Most men like a good adventure story, but few expect to find one written by a Canadian pastor and former cross-cultural missionary. Enter Eric E. Wright, who spent 16 years in Pakistan.

In Captives of Minara he brings the exotic country alive in a fast-paced tale of a Canadian reporter, Josh Radley, who lands in the midst of intrigue.

Archeology is rarely this exciting. The story centres on kidnapping and human

trafficking. And redemption. While in Pakistan, Radley engineers some daring rescues and confronts the demons of his childhood. This is Wright’s second suspense novel featuring Radley. The first, The Lightning File, earned two Christian writing awards from The World Guild in 2007.

FLICKERING PIXELS

By Shane Hipps Technology is not neutral. The basic premise of Flickering Pixels is that technology changes the way we understand ourselves, who God is and how Christians relate to other believers.

Hipps begins with a brief look at Marshall McLuhan’s revolutionary idea (“the medium is the message”), expanding the concept beyond its secular application and offering a fresh look at how new technologies impact faith.

He takes us on a journey through the effects of print, radio, TV and into the modern era of the Internet. The book is insightful and thought provoking while remaining accessible to a wide range of readers. Although brief in its treatment of some very complex ideas, it is a great introduction to a new way of thinking.

Technology is not neutral, but with understanding and wisdom we can make better use of it and be aware of how it can end up using us.

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features

World of Warcraft WidoWs left Wanting Online gamers are apt to forget their lives outside the realm

by Mags Storey

Online gaming is a multi-billion dollar industry, and growing. An estimated 220 million people around the world regularly tap in through their computer consoles to slay mythical villains and save towards the virtual castle of their dreams.

But why do so many men find it easy to get lost inside virtual worlds? And how do you know when it’s time to pull the plug?

By age 27, Jay (name has been changed) says he was working two full-time jobs. By day he was a friendly and slightly introverted technology teacher.

But when he got back home, and settled down in front of the computer screen, he transformed into a paladin, imbued with the magical ability to heal his fellow guildsmen in the heat of battle.

“Online gaming is the information age’s answer to escapism,” Jay says, “except on a grander scale than books, radio or television could have ever fathomed.”

He explains that massive multiplayer

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online games (MMO), like World of Warcraft (WoW), are “a microcosm of real world society with roles the player needs to fulfill.”

“When you live in a culture like ours that lionizes people for a strong work ethic, it’s easy to see how being able to do two fulltime jobs can become a mark of honour,” he adds, “even if your second ‘job’ is throwing fireballs up the rear of an ogre.”

But since getting engaged, Jay has realized the love of his life is “not enamoured” with his game playing.

“She doesn’t understand the appeal,” he says, “but there’s never been an instance of, ‘I’d love to honey, but I have to plumb the Blackfathom Deeps for loot and glory tonight.’”

Adult entertainment While computer gaming often starts out as child’s play, a growing number of adults are taking the pastime with them into adulthood. A recent report from the American Center for Disease Control found that the average online gamer is now 35 years old. Most have been playing since they were in their late teens or early 20s.

The majority of online games are designed for adults—and they are designed to be addictive, says Wendy Kays, author of the book Game Widow.

Within days of marrying her gamedeveloper husband, Kays says she felt abandoned by his constant online gaming.

Wanting to understand her husband’s alternative world, she started skulking

Game Widow author Wendy Kays.

around video game conferences, sitting in on panels and eavesdropping on conversations in the hallway.

“I basically just wandered around undercover and wrote copious notes,” she says. “Then I applied it to what I had learned at church of how to show respect and gentleness to someone while sorting out a problem.”

She says there are six things which game producers call the “glue” that keep people playing MMOs. “You have a unique persona,” she says, “and create a character to represent yourself exactly as you want. There’s a sense of achievement, with goals that become harder to reach as the game progresses. There’s how deeply one can get immersed in a game, and how dynamic the game is.

“Then there’s ownership—which basically means all the stuff you can collect, like horses or piles of gold or pies.

You can have all this ‘stuff’ you’d never have in real life. [Gamers] don’t want to just walk away and drop it.

“And finally relationships. You are with other people online, in real time. So people make friendships, have flirtations and even cheat with people online. You feel like you need to show up because there are people waiting for you online.”

Getting hooked For Nat, a doctorate student, it was the relationships he developed through WoW which kept him playing several hours a day.

“You need large numbers of people to band together to take on more difficult dungeons,” he says, “and you have to coordinate your schedules in advance.

It’s like a team sport—only instead of trying to throw balls in a hoop, the challenge is to kill a gigantic dragon before she incinerates you and your friends.”

Nat says that what non-gamers don’t often realize, is the sense of loyalty and camaraderie that develops in online guilds.

“Everyone will depend on you to be there that night,” Nat says. “If you’re not there, they will all suffer. So, let’s say a friend calls me up to see if I wanted to do something else. If I say yes, I’m letting 24 other people down.

“Also, after each raid only a small percentage of people will get loot. So you owe it to those who helped you get your cool, shiny sword of awesomeness get their own sparkly wand of butt-kicking.”

While Nat cut back on gaming due to school pressures, he says, leaving was hard. “I was effectively saying goodbye to people I would never see again.

People with whom I’d shared a common experience.”

Kays says the danger comes when people pour all their time and energy into sustaining this virtual world, instead of the people around them.

“Because online you’re only seeing the most interesting and glamorous sides to people,” she says, “and it’s all hyped up by the emotions of the game. When you’re living on that high suddenly your own

spouse and kids just don’t seem that interesting anymore.”

Escaping real life When Janice’s fiancé lost his job, they decided to postpone the marriage until he got a new one. Six months later, no new job was in sight, but an online gaming obsession was.

“He gamed all day and into the night,” she says. “I’d find empty pop cans and dishes all around his desk. I had the dress, the bridesmaids’ dresses, the invitations, the hall—everything. I often had the feeling like he was choosing the game over me.

He was basically a dry alcoholic.”

For some, online gaming can provide an unhealthy escape from very real-world problems. “It’s partly about how these games are designed, but also what we bring to the game,” says Brad Dorrance, founder of the Canadian chapter of On-Line Gamers Anonymous (OLGA). “Some people just should not play online games.”

A recovering “obsessive gamer,” Dorrance once played up to 80 hours a week. For years, he balanced gaming with a family and a career in social work.

But after losing his job, he started playing up to 12 hours a day.

“Though my life was really out of control,” he says, “I was compensating with the power and control that I felt in the game. In real life, I’m 5’5” and a little overweight, but in that world I was tall and thin. I wasn’t unemployed. I was powerful.

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features

I was a person of influence. I was respected in a shallow way by my gaming peers who knew they could count on my character to help them through dangerous situations.

“It almost becomes idolatrous when we’re more interested in this avatar of ourselves than we are in our wives or kids.

I think it has really profound implications when we abandon our real lives in favour of a virtual self.

“We are asking a game to do something it was never designed to do. It was never designed to save us from loneliness, or to make us feel better when our relationships are on the rocks.”

Kays adds, “I think the biggest thing that I learned is that there were needs that my husband was having met in the video game that were not being met in real life.

Once I was able to help him meet those in real life, he didn’t really need the video games anymore.”

A place for online games When Todd’s wife started commuting for university, he played online games almost every night. When she came back home again, Todd found it hard to give up the habit.

“I felt ‘the need’ to continue playing,” Todd says. “The big issue for me was that in the evening we had nothing doing besides sitting on the couch and watching television. I figured I could play beside her and achieve the same thing. She felt that sharing the couch should be a bit more interactive.

“I would see empty time as a chance to play, instead of seeing it as a chance to be together. I realized it was a pretty selfish view of free time since we were a couple, not room mates.”

Todd gave up gaming for about a year after that, and the couple began spending

more time outdoors. Now they have a toddler, and Todd plays in moderation.

“I like games and feel there’s more good than bad to the medium,” Todd says.

“There are a lot of amazing things you can do artistically and creatively with a game that you can’t do anywhere else.

“I know a lot of people who see gaming as a waste of time, but gamers feel their time is well spent, and I think that it shouldn’t be discounted. But if one partner sees games as frivolous or pointless, that shouldn’t be ignored either. People’s feelings are valid, and dismissing a feeling just because you see it as silly is rude and just causes more problems.

“I think Krista understands I play because I find it a chance to have some ‘me time’ which is very important for me.

So long as both sides can be honest about their needs and desires around games, common ground should be pretty easy to find.”

WoW WIDOWS SAY:

“I remind myself to just be thankful it’s not porn.”

39-year-old wife of a teacher

“It’s what my husband does instead of sleep.”

32-year old wife of a doctor

“I actually love that my husband plays. He’s really social and it gives him something fun to do when I’m having ‘me’ time.”

Are you an obsessive gamer?

On-Line Gamers Anonymous has a questionnaire that examines your relationship with online gaming. If you answer yes to the following questions, you may have a problem.

• Are the majority of your friends those with whom you play games?

• Are you unable to predict time spent gaming?

• Do you find yourself flirting with those of the opposite sex in the game?

• Do you experience stronger emotions while in your online game than you do in real life?

• Have you withdrawn from real life hobbies?

• Have your sleep patterns changed or do you lose sleep due to late-night raids?

• Do you spend real money on the purchase of in-game items?

• Do you feel the need to “stand up for gamers”?

• Do you prefer the excitement of gaming to intimacy with your partner?

For more a full set of questions and more information visit On-Line Gamers Anonymous at www.olganon.org.

41-year-old wife of a bank director

Mags Storey is Ontario correspondent for ChristianWeek and author of If Only You Knew.

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Hope, encouragement and guidance for parents who want their kids to be both tech-savvy and tech-wise

by Darryl Dash

Two iPhones. One iPad. One iPod Touch.

One Nintendo DS. One Wii. Three computers. And I’m just getting started. I haven’t counted the cell phone, the TV and the other gadgets lying around the house.

That’s probably enough for you to get the picture: we are one wired family. But we’re not that different from others.

Children today have access to all kinds of electronic devices that existed only in my dreams when I was a kid. How do we monitor and regulate our children’s use of this technology? It’s a question our parents never had to face.

Be tech-savvy Some parents choose to eliminate most of the electronic devices. This seems a bit extreme, although it’s crossed my mind a few times when my daughter’s been playing music videos on YouTube.

There’s no way to retreat to the past.

Our children will need to learn how to live in a world of screens, a world of almost unlimited distractions. It seems that part of our role as fathers is to help our children learn to live in this world, not to avoid it.

Besides, the devices bring a lot of good into our lives. I gave my daughter some fatherly advice a couple of years ago. She rejected it until she found the same advice on a Christian forum from someone she respected. I resented this at first, but then I realized that she is accessing some excellent material from some of the sharpest minds in Christian youth ministry.

The results in her life have been profound.

I’m not arguing that all technology is good for our families, but I can think of a number of times that it’s enhanced the lives of my kids.

I want my children to be tech-savvy. I want them to experience the benefits of some of the online resources. I want them

to be prepared to use technology appropriately as adults. And I also want to be able to phone my teenaged daughter on a Friday night when she’s out with friends. So there’s no going back: the gadgets are here to stay. How do we help our children learn how to use these technologies appropriately?

Set time limits I talked to a young adult this week who says that he spends 40 hours a week playing World of Warcraft. I don’t want my kids to follow his example. One of the skills they’re going to have to learn is setting limits. Electronics can take over our lives.

I need to be honest: it’s hard to teach my kids this because I’m learning it myself.

I hear an e-mail ping from the phone in my

pocket, and I suddenly become one of Pavlov’s dogs, salivating with excitement.

E-mails, tweets, Facebook messages and blogs consume more time than I realize.

Unless I learn to set limits, it’s going to be hard to teach my kids how to do the same.

My 11-year-old son recently decided to fast from technology for a week. We asked him why, and he said, “I’m addicted.” For a week he refused to look at or touch anything that had a screen. We were amazed at his decision, and even more amazed that he lasted a week. He recognized his own need for limits.

I think of this sometimes when I see him watching TV and playing on his handheld games system at the same time.

We’ve set a limit of two hours of media time per day, including TV, computers and

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credit?

Mobile Mischief in the Making

features

Mobile Mischief in the Making all electronics. When you do two things at once, does that count as time concurrently served? I still haven’t figured it out, but I think it may be a problem that he’s got two screens going at a time.

We all need limits. Families can probably benefit by talking about time limits. This includes the quantity of time, but it also includes hours that electronics are off-limits. We’ve programmed our computers so that the kids can’t log on early in the morning or late at night. We generally turn the TV off on Saturday nights.

It’s important to set limits for the kids, but it’s also important to set limits for ourselves, so we can teach the kids by our example.

Set content limits It’s not just a matter of setting time limits. We also need to watch the content our children are consuming, whether online, on the phone, in media and even in games.

This is enough to scare any parent. Our kids are in danger of being exposed to all kinds of harmful material. We read statistics about the average age for a child’s first exposure to online porn. It doesn’t even matter that many of the statistics seem hard to verify. Then we read the stories about sexting—sending sexually explicit messages and pictures between cell phones. It can be scary to read about how technology is being misused by kids.

When our children are young, it’s appropriate to limit access to some technologies. We bought our daughter a cell phone when she started taking public transit to school, but it didn’t have a camera. We don’t allow our kids to sign up for Facebook until they’re the minimum age specified by Facebook (13). I know parents who have revoked cell phone and Internet privileges based on problem behaviour. We can’t assume our children are mature enough to handle every

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temptation. Sometimes we need to make it hard for the temptation to even reach our children.

No parent can shield their children from temptation forever. As our children grow, we need to begin preparing them to meet these challenges. We can gradually give them more freedom while monitoring their progress. We allow our children to go on the Internet, for instance, but we have their e-mail passwords, and we check their accounts occasionally to see what’s there.

We’re gradually relaxing this as they build trust. We have free monitoring software on all of our computers (X3Watch) so we know if anyone visits inappropriate sites. Our computers are in the kitchen and living room, so there’s always someone else around who can see what’s going on.

Paranoid? I hope not. When my kids ask if I trust them, I tell them I don’t trust myself with unfettered freedom. We all need accountability and limits.

Talking to our kids turns out to be the best way to meet some of these challenges.

This can begin with covering the basics at an early age: don’t give your name to strangers online; don’t assume that people are who they say they are; never agree to meet a stranger on the Internet and so on.

We can explain why we don’t allow certain video games or DVDs. Gradually, as our children grow, this can become a conversation in which we wrestle through issues together. We can also explain how we’re protecting ourselves from some of these temptations, so it’s not all about them.

We can protect our kids all we want, and set up all kinds of safeguards, but ultimately we want their hearts, not just grudging compliance. We have to set limits, but limits are only part of the answer.

Get to the heart Do you remember when your parents set limits for you? Some of them worked.

But some of us became very good at

finding ways to get around the rules. Kids are good at outsmarting their parents.

Sometimes they’re openly rebellious; a lot of times they take the sneaky approach.

I remember a scene from the allegory Pilgrim’s Progress. One of the characters makes a mistake. Somebody—it turns out to be Moses, representing the Law—comes and beats him. “That man that overtook you was Moses: He spares none, neither does he know to show mercy to those that transgress his Law.” The point is a good one. Rules can point out what’s wrong, but they can’t change the heart. They can actually leave us feeling beaten up.

That’s why I want my kids to experience grace. Grace can reach places in the heart that rules never can. I want them to see that I’m someone who’s experienced grace.

And I want to extend it to them as well, pointing to the place where I found it myself. Grace makes room for the mistakes that will inevitably take place, both for us as parents and for our children.

I want my kids to be tech-savvy. But I want them to know that technology has its place, and that it also has its dangers.

Most of all, I want them to know that the best way to handle all these gadgets and technologies is to make sure our hearts are focused on more important things, like relationships for instance. Maybe then they’ll be prepared not only for themselves, but to help with the challenges their children are going to face one day.

I want them to know technology.

More importantly, I want them to know God and His grace.

Darryl Dash is lead pastor of Richview, a Fellowship Baptist congregation in Etobicoke, Ontario. He blogs at www.dashhouse.com

features

For better and for worse, social media is here to stay.

by Jamie Arpin-Ricci

Glancing at the digital time display on my cell phone, I paced the parking lot in eager anticipation. That very eagerness had apparently weighted my foot on the drive from Winnipeg to Duluth, as I had arrived well over an hour earlier than expected.

And then I saw the cars pull into the lot and park next to me. A grin burst onto my face as my closest and dearest friend in the world, Christopher, emerged from one of the vehicles, also grinning. We met in an enthusiastic hug, like the brothers we had become through our years of friendship.

And now we were together to celebrate his upcoming wedding, a ceremony I was proud to have been asked to perform.

Other than the deep and meaningful friendship Christopher and I have forged over the years, this story might otherwise be unexceptional. However, there is one dynamic that makes our relationship rather unique: until that moment in the parking lot, Christopher and I had never met face to face, or even heard the other’s voice.

Our entire friendship began and flourished through the Internet. We “met” after I discovered his blog. We began to share e-mails, then chat almost daily through an instant message program.

We supported each other through difficult times and celebrated our mutual joys through the creative use of various online social media.

As foreign and unlikely as such a story may seem, it is increasingly common in a time where technology is rapidly making the world a much smaller place. Basic access to the Internet provides people worldwide with access to a network (or audience) of billions. Central to this reality is social media—those programs, websites and technologies that empower users to dynamically relate to other users in a mutual exchange quite different than the one-directional broadcast of traditional media.

In other words, we are no longer mere consumers of media but participants and producers in our right.

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Photo: Courtesy escapedtowisconsin

facebook: Friends + follies

features

Facing fact of Facebook Few examples of social media are better known than Facebook. Boasting more than 400 million active users, more than half of which are active daily, Facebook is available in more than 70 languages (thanks to more than 300,000 unpaid users who help translate) around the world. More than 70 per cent of Facebook users live outside the United States, where the program originated, and despite popular perception, people between the age of 30 and 50 years old are the largest and fastest growing group active on the site. While certainly one of the most successful examples of social media, Facebook is just one of countless other mediums in use.

In the face of this reality, one thing becomes abundantly clear: social media is not only here to stay, but will increasingly impact our world, for better and for worse.

The last thing we want to do as Christians is to engage (or dismiss) these technologies out of misunderstanding or ignorance. While this topic could easily fill an entire book, let’s take some time to look at both the dangers and benefits of social media in our day-to-day lives.

Perhaps the single greatest danger of social media is its addictive nature. While this may sound overly dramatic, several

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studies are revealing alarming trends among social media users, where the frequency of usage becomes compulsive.

As these mediums are increasingly available through mobile technology such as cell phones or iPods, users are active at all hours, even while driving. In one study, almost half of users checked their Facebook or Twitter accounts at least once after going to bed. Interestingly, this trend is largely (though not exclusively) seen in users 25 years old or younger.

This not only represents a caution to all of us as potential users, but also highlights real concerns for parents, teachers, youth pastors and others responsible for the welfare of young people. While demonizing these technologies is both unfair and ineffective, we need to be very careful and involved in how young people are using such technologies. Many people have joined sites like Facebook for the express purpose of better understanding the realities, thus helping them to better navigate these challenges for themselves and their children.

It is also all too easy to become competitive in our use of social media.

While the average Facebook user has around 130 friends in their personal network, others have significantly higher numbers. Unofficially, one’s status in

social media circles is elevated alongside the size of your network, spurring many to raise their numbers by any means. In addition to becoming an unhealthy and prideful exercise in self-promotion, this also has the inevitable side effect of marginalizing and alienating those with lower numbers.

Among young people, social media has added sharp teeth to the already biting dynamics of peer pressure and cliques.

The devastating impact of being publicly mocked, rejected or “unfriended” should not be underplayed.

While my friendship with Christopher is unquestionably genuine, we both recognize that our time spent together face to face has been invaluable. Neither would we suggest that such online friendships remove our need for local relationships. As we become involved in social media, we need to be careful not to allow it to consume a disproportionate amount of our time or energy. Like all media forms, be it television, film or even books, social media needs to be used appropriately, carefully and responsibly.

Good qualities That being said, I am not convinced social media is an inevitable evil that, while having a few redemptive qualities,

Photo: Courtesy FB-Scott Beale _ Laughing Squid

should be suspect. In fact, I would argue that the capacity for genuine relationships in the “virtual” context extends much further than many of us might imagine or care to admit. Sites like Facebook or Twitter, used properly, can be invaluable tools for community and mission in ways unavailable outside their unique contexts.

Perhaps one of the greatest benefits of social media is its ability to allow people, who would otherwise be cut off, to connect with a much wider community. Whether through illness or age, many who are housebound can still participate and connect to people all over the world.

For Christians who live in places where a local Christian community is not available, these mediums provide an essential and dynamic connection to the Body of Christ. Surprisingly, many people who identify as introverts (such as myself), who are less comfortable and often taxed in larger social settings, have found social media to provide an ideal environment to create and nurture relationships and social circles.

Again, I am not suggesting that such connections replace the essential need for physically present community, but neither do we use these sites in a vacuum. Rather, they serve as aids in the larger context of lives. Without question, these mediums

provide much needed connection to thousands who might otherwise have been cut off.

Another exciting dynamic of social media is its capacity to broaden our perspectives of the world around us.

Where our local context might provide only a limited view, social media can connect us with cultures, ideas and experiences vastly different from our own. This capacity to broaden our worldview is invaluable, especially for Christians who, desiring to meaningfully engage the world missionally, seek to avoid the damaging results of the ignorance and ethnocentricity all too common in Church history. Social media empowers average people from all walks of life from all over the world to share their unique perspectives and experience in ways unavailable through most of human history. It is truly a gift.

It is important for us to remember that, throughout history whenever people were introduced to a radically new form of media, the fires of opinion burned bright and hot. From the printing press to the Internet, these technologies have proven one thing for certain: that in the hands of people like you and me, they can be used for good and evil alike. While we cannot ignore the unique nature of each medium, neither should we be too quick to dismiss

them because of the potential for abuse.

Rather, we need to choose to responsibly use them in ways that bring life and glorify God. Recently, my Australian sister-in-law wrapped up a fundraiser for her young friend, Toph, who at nine years old has fought cancer for most of his life. Through the creative use of Facebook and other social media tools, she not only raised close to $4,000 from people all around the world, she helped catalyze a vast network of prayer and encouragement for this young boy and his family. His smiling face, broadcast to us through Skype video chat from his isolation ward, brought us together—people from Canada, Australia, the U.S. and elsewhere—in a way only possible because of technology. Beyond the virtual labels, we all knew that we were truly friends.

Jamie Arpin-Ricci is a pastor, missionary and author. He writes regularly at his blog “A Living Alternative” (www.missional.ca) and can also be found on Facebook (www.facebook.com/missional.ca) and Twitter (www.twitter.com/missional). He and his wife live and serve in the inner-city community of Winnipeg’s West End.

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features

real life ethics in a virtual World Does what happens in Halo stay in Halo?

by John Allen

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Halo is a hugely successful video game franchise that has captured the imaginations of millions of people since the first installment was launched in November 2001. It draws players into a virtual world with an elaborate storyline and never-ending battles with the future of humanity at stake. Welcome to the world of combat gaming.

But why, one wonders, is such vivid, graphic, deadly activity so popular?

In a recent letter to Christianity Today, a man explained that he and his wife “bought an Xbox 360 so that we could spend more time playing with our adult sons. We play Halo 3, shooting each other for hours. Granted, it seems odd to celebrate our unity with simulated carnage, but it works because we know the difference between reality and play.

We mix molehills with mountains when we assume that reasonable people easily confuse the two.”

Odd indeed, but are the distinctions between reality and play really that easy to draw? And if it is okay to blow people up in Halo, is it also okay to develop romantic or other emotionally laden relationships in a virtual world?

Frank Emanuel is an Ottawa pastor and theologian with touchstones in the gaming world. “The main problem I see is one of abstraction of identity,” he says. “Virtual environments provide a feeling of anonymity that allows individuals to act in ways they never would outside of that environment. Sometimes this carries into the ‘real’ world. But usually, folks are pretty good at living compartmentalized lives.

After all we’ve taught them to compartmentalize their faith life, home life and work life already.

“So this problem isn’t necessarily a new one. But it is especially attractive because

it is a more honest way to keep life compartmentalized. In the game I can be a murderous SOB, kill, rape, laugh at the misfortunes of others—live out base desires—while at the same time imagining myself as a normal, even upstanding, citizen outside of the game.”

This abstraction can be dehumanizing.

People who “hook up” in the gaming world may go on to meet in person. What may be even scarier, says Emanuel, is that “virtual environments have also allowed for virtual sexual encounters where there is no physical contact.”

As Emanuel sees it, video games have a specific group of problems associated with them. “First there is the reality that the gaming audience has gotten older. This means the content has ‘matured,’ and that what gets into the hands of less ‘mature’ gamers potentially allows them to enact quite perverse scenarios.”

A second problem is addiction. “I personally don’t play a lot of video games simply because I love to escape, and it is too easy for me to get addicted to a game and rob my family, church and friends of my time. In the virtual world ‘real’ time is unimportant.”

But a third problem is even more disturbing to the theologian in Emanuel.

He observes that the games are “storied environments,” and that we now have “virtual communities that craft a narrative, in which the individual participates, that gives a false sense of meaning to their lives.”

Some of this, he says, “represents the failure of the church to convey what is arguably the greatest story ever told as a compelling narrative of meaning. But it is hard to compete with the selfish worlds of abstraction that video games create.”

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features

cyprian’s choice Techie purges prime collection

by John Allen

Cyprian Peters is a techie. “I’m pretty much geared to the latest stuff. I love gadgets—everything new and exciting. I’m always reading tech blogs. It’s a hobby, something to do,” says the 24-year-old electrical engineer.

Peters was among the first Canadians to get an iPhone and almost immediately had a gig as a reviewer for iPhone accessories that earned him a lot of free stuff —Bluetooth headsets, headphones, speakers, cases, docks, etc. “I’d play around with each item for a while, then review it and most of the time keep it.”

And there was more. “For awhile I was into computer stuff and had a super nice computer. At the height of it I had a 40-inch TV as a monitor as well as a 26-inch and 24-inch. I had four at one point. They weren’t essential. I just wanted to have the best.

I had the nicest keyboard and mouse and a really nice tower.”

And six speaker docks “and countless other things I never used but didn’t want to sell or give away because they were high value.”

More than a few people cautioned Peters about his priorities.

“But it wasn’t till one morning at church that it clicked in,” he recalls. “The topic was material goods and how they can become idols. Anything you spend too much time on or that you value more than God is an idol. Some people spend money on clothes or shoes. For me it was high-tech.”

That sermon hit home. “Basically I went home and started putting stuff on Kijiji. I priced it to move.” It was a serious purge.

Originally he just kept his iPhone, shedding the computers, monitors and netbook. He gave some of the stuff away.

Before long he realized he actually did need a computer, so got another netbook. And when the iPad was released, Peters was at the front of the line. “That’s more of a business thing than anything,” he explains. “I can still do reviews and accessories for it.”

The difference? “Now I’m more open to giving things away, like a Bluetooth headset for a wedding social. Before I’d just put it in my closet and never use it.” Now he aims to keep only the stuff that actually gets used. “I’m not keeping doubles of anything…yet.”

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A pause. “I probably still have too much,” he acknowledges.

But he feels less cluttered. “I still love reading about hi-tech stuff and finding out what’s new and exciting. I used to drop money on frivolous purchases all the time. Now a lot more thought goes into it.”

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man talk

You might as well be drunk Cell phone gabbing behind the wheel

by Charles W. Moore

Peter Egan is a delightfully witty writer whose regular “Side Glances” column in Road & Track magazine is enough of a reason to subscribe to the magazine.

While he is often very funny, Egan tackled a serious topic in his March, 2010 piece, relating how he and his wife narrowly escaped disaster on a Sunday morning motorcycle ride when…

Deciding to take the scenic route home, he slowed to enter a side road just as a young woman cruised through its stop sign without slowing. She was busy yakking on her cell phone, gazing in the other direction—oblivious to the oncoming bike.

“If I hadn’t already backed off the throttle and started braking,” Peter relates, “she would have killed us.”

Egan also cites driving with a friend who insisted on simultaneously talking on his cell phone while typing in a new destination into his GPS, cutting-off a merging gasoline tanker and responding to the truck driver’s angry horn blast by lifting his “free” hand off the steering wheel and shaking his fist, phone cradled against shoulder.

Egan says aside from that minor flaw, his friend is really a great guy, sort of like a few drunks he’s known.

Slow and distracted Not an idle analogy. University of Utah studies in 2005 and 2006 found drivers talking on cell phones had 18 per cent slower braking response times than motorists focused on driving. They concluded that cell phone use while driving causes impairment equal to driving with 0.08 per cent blood-alcohol levels— the legal limit in most states and Canadian provinces.

A 2006 National Highway Traffic Safety Administration study found 80 per cent of crashes directly linked to driver inattention, with cell phone use topping the distractions list.

Eight Canadian provinces have banned handheld cell phone use behind the wheel (New Brunswick and Alberta are holdouts).

Commendable, but a partially effective half-measure even when effectively enforced, which it isn’t, based on anecdotal observation.

As for the counter-argument that handsfree phone chatting should be no different than talking to passengers in the vehicle— not so. The University of Utah at Salt Lake City found cell phone use, even hands-free units, substantially more dangerous than chatting with on-board passengers. Drivers feel more comfortable interrupting conversations with others physically present and aware of immediate circumstances.

The Insurance Institute for Highway Safety determined that using cell phones— even hands-free units—increases crash risk fourfold. This is greater than low-level alcohol impairment. Texting (and, presumably, GPS programming as well) distracts visually, physically and cognitively, increasing risk sixfold. A 2009 study by the Harvard Center of Risk Analysis calculated cell phone use contributing to six per cent of all U.S. automobile crashes.

The U.S. National Safety Council advocates banning all automobile operator cell phone, the prudent course being to turn the ringer off and stash the phone somewhere out of reach before turning the key. The Canadian Automobile Association (CAA) says laws banning handheld phones while allowing hands-free use provide no

safety benefit, possibly even increasing accident rates by encouraging drivers to chatter more and longer under false belief they’re safe.

Doctors in Nova Scotia argue that allowing hands-free units merely places the phone out of sight while drivers continue to talk, distracted from due diligence, while crash risk remains.

Hands-free phones don’t eliminate cognitive distraction of focus on conversations engaged in, and donning headsets or changing phone settings while driving divert attention from the road, increasing crash risk.

An Ontario Medical Association metaanalysis of studies from around the world indicates cell phone use affects drivers’ cognitive function, visual concentration, information processing efficiency and reaction time, reduces driver field of view, results in less mirror-checking, decreases distance maintained between vehicles and more frequent panic braking.

Given the preponderance of scientific proof that cell phone gabbing behind the wheel is hazardous, there’s simply no defensible case for tolerating the practice.

Bans hard to enforce? Well, all sorts of laws are difficult to enforce. We still keep them in place.

Peter Egan advocates severe penalties for talking on a cell phone while driving, including loss of license and getting your car towed, just as if you were seriously drunk behind the wheel because you might as well be.

Charles W. Moore is a Nova Scotian freelance writer and editor whose articles, features, and commentaries have appeared in more than 40 magazines and newspapers in Canada, the U.S., the U.K., and Australia. E-mail cwmoore@gmx.net

seven – issue thirteen july–august 2010 page 25

money matters

Ensuring your assets endure Leave your family more than memories

by Paul Emerton

Making decisions to be acted upon after you die can be a challenging prospect.

But without your instructions, people other than your heirs will make decisions about the dispersal of your estate and a substantial amount of it could end up in the hands of legal advisors or in government coffers. A proper plan ensures your estate is passed along as you desire it, with minimum taxes, delays and complications.

So it’s worthwhile to reflect on the matter. You can do much of the planning over a cup of coffee, perhaps exchanging ideas with your spouse. Here are five steps to get you started: 1. Make an inventory of your assets and liabilities and a list of important documents such as insurance policies, property deeds, stocks and bonds, and bank accounts.

2. Define the beneficiaries—those you wish to receive the assets of your estate.

3. Decide how your assets will be divided.

Be aware of some guidelines involved in this decision. For example, taxes on the assets in your RRSP or RRIF can be avoided if you leave them to your spouse instead of your estate.

4. Consider how your estate will be distributed. It needn’t be in a lump sum.

You can direct that assets be allocated over time or through payments from a trust.

5. Pay special attention to major assets such as a family business or a vacation home or cottage/cabin. You may want to include the entire family in the discussion to ensure that everyone understands your wishes.

seven – issue thirteen july–august 2010 page 26

Assets can be transferred in five ways, depending upon your preference and circumstances. These are: 1. Wills. Everyone should prepare one, with legal assistance where necessary.

2. Joint Ownership. Registering assets this way is a simple method of transferring assets. Joint Tenancy with Right of Survivorship assures automatic transfer without probate taxes, although other complications may arise. (This is not available to Quebec residents.)

3. Gifting Assets. Transferring assets now is relatively easy. Be aware that giving assets to recognizable charities may create tax benefits; passing them to family members could create tax liabilities.

4. Testamentary Trust. This takes effect upon your death, transferring ownership but not control of assets according to your directions, and is part of your will.

5. Living Trust. Similar to a Testamentary Trust, this applies whenever you choose.

None of these steps should be taken without obtaining a qualified legal opinion.

Life insurance can help to protect your estate. While life insurance generates an instant estate, it can also be used to protect substantial other assets. For example, if your estate includes an asset valued at $200,000 with a projected value of $500,000 in 20 years, the $300,000 difference would represent a taxable capital gain of $150,000 (capital gains tax applies to 50 percent of the total gain).

At a taxation rate of 30 percent, this would represent a burden of $45,000 and require the beneficiary to liquidate the asset. A relatively small premium payable now could avoid this problem arising after your death.

A few hours drafting an estate plan now can avoid tension among your family and possible unnecessary expenses. It’s a wise investment in time.

Paul Emerton is a Certified Financial Planner and Trainer at FaithLife Financial. www.faithlifefinancial.ca

Out of my depth

The tech of the Amish Many of us could afford a sober spiritual evaluation of our love affair with technology

by Phil Wagler

I grew up in technological no-man’s land.

The plain-living non-conformity of Amish and Mennonite bloodlines and locale shaped my childhood. We had no television in my home until I was nearing my teens. I remember the absolute magnetism TV initially held for me. I watched everything I was allowed. Weren’t the Smurfs amazing? La, la, la-la, la, la…precious memories…I digress.

My parents agonized over that purchase. They had grown up in a religious tradition that banned such worldly things.

Mom and Dad had left such legalistic religiosity for a new world before I was born and that new world inevitably meant the blessing and curse of doing technological ethics alone.

In their old community technological rights and wrongs were decisions made by church leaders for the sake of the community. Certain things were permitted (like cars—but they had to be black and radio-less—and tractors—which strangely could remain whatever shade they came in). Other things were forbidden (like televisions and instruments in church buildings).

These decisions were not made willynilly or in fear, but designed to balance the need to provide and do good while curbing the corrupting affects of “the world” on the souls of the righteous. The motives were pure, the aim admirable and the fruit at times beautiful. See, for example, the incredible servant nature of these communities, their mutual support of one another and their commitment to live the God-ward life simply and lightly.

However, avoiding certain technologies could not undo one sticky reality: it is not technology that corrupts the human heart;

it is the human heart that corrupts technology. And so it was that my first exposure to the technological wonder of the glossy porn magazine came via some who were not allowed to have a TV or listen to rock and roll. How’s that for irony?

I’m now a parent. Today VCRs collect dust next to 8-Track Players and Atari consoles and I’m raising my kids in an iPhone and Wii world. What’s a man to do?

Now it’s my parents who have cable TV while our kids endure bunny ears (which at least made the Vancouver Olympics look snowy). We have a cell phone, but not one as savvy as those of my relatives who don’t have radios in their cars. I’m typing this on a laptop, while some of the Old Order Mennonite boys I went to grade school with drive horse and buggies and operate businesses out of their sheds that require the Internet.

So, who has the best handle on this tech stuff after all? Are we all just a bunch of hypocrites? Or, could it be that we’re all just negotiating that treacherous tightrope between technology and theology?

“Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God” (Psalm 20:7).

Technology is ethically neutral in that it has no power for good or ill on its own, but it is not spiritually neutral because we who create technologies are natural born worshippers. While humanity is gifted to create technologies that advance and amuse, the disturbing pattern is how enamoured we become with what our hands create. We are smitten idolaters and idol-makers.

Want proof? Ever tried avoiding e-mail on your day off? Ever watched two people sitting at a table texting all the while

avoiding eye contact and conversation with each other? Ever threatened to take a video game away from your teenager? Ever tried to work up the courage to get rid of cable? Ever talked yourself into a toy you didn’t need, just because you thought is was cool?

While there’s nothing inherently wrong with enjoying technology, the reality is many of us could afford a sober spiritual evaluation of our love affair with technology. Some communal Amishtesting couldn’t hurt toward that end: Is use of this going to deaden our souls and close our eyes to one another? Will it weaken our ability to live as a community and be a unique witness to our world? Will it unnecessarily tie up our money in ways that will hinder our ability to be generous?

Will this technology become our god and master? Will its use enable us to do more good and bring God more glory?

Should we take some time before jumping on a new tech bandwagon (whether gas, solar or equine powered) until we can think, talk and pray through the long-term implications on our following of Jesus, our ability to be human and on creation?

Those are sobering questions. They are questions we must be willing to ask and keep asking in a world where horses and chariots of a more docile kind can become the tech-idols we never advance beyond.

Phil Wagler is lead pastor of Kingsfield-Zurich Mennonite and Clinton churches in southwestern Ontario and author of Kingdom Culture: Growing the Missional Church.

seven – issue thirteen july–august 2010 page 27

ZENITH DEFY XTREME TOURBILLON TITANIUM CHRONOGRAPH

TV POLTERGEIST

http://www.thinkgeek.com We interrupt this program…by turning off the TV. Then it comes back on. Then it’s off again. What’s happening? Only you will know it’s the TV Poltergeist.

This annoying handy gadget hijacks television sets, turning them on and off at random intervals every five to 20 minutes.

Hide the TV Poltergeist in the room with the TV, aim it at the screen and turn it on. After that, the set will randomly switch on and off until someone finds the device (or until the batteries die, up to three months later).

TV Poltergeist will work on just about any TV, including CRT, LCD and Plasma displays. It’s perfect for interrupting “Dancing With the Stars,” chick flicks and wedding videos.

(Use at your own risk.

The author is not responsible for damage to marriages or relationships caused by the misuse of this product.)

seven – issue thirteen july–august 2010 page 28

http://zenith-watches.com This handsome wristwatch has one truly remarkable feature. No, it’s not the carbon fibre bezel or the scratch resistant sapphire crystal. It’s not the blue and black microblasted titanium case and wristband.

It’s not the luminous hands, the visible tourbillon at 11 o’clock or the magnified date at 12 o’clock.

It’s the price. Originally offered for $145,000, the limited edition Zenith Defy Extreme Tourbillon Titanium Chronograph is now available from Amazon.com for just $87,714.97.

Wretched excess, thy name is wristwatch.

GADGET SANCTUARY

http://www.bluelounge.com The Sanctuary is an attractive, simple solution to a real everyday problem. It’s a place to empty our pockets so all that stuff we carry around can be easily found later. As a bonus, it’s also a charging station for electronic devices.

The Sanctuary has multiple connectors so you can charge your cell phone, iPod, BlackBerry and headset simultaneously in one location. The chargers, which are compatible with most electronic devices, are fashionably concealed inside.

Unlike most multi-charge devices, the Sanctuary looks right at home on a dresser or bedside table. There’s plenty of room for your wallet, loose change, keys and other easily misplaced personal items. Your gadgets need to rest and recharge, just like you. At the end of a long day, when it’s time to tuck in, empty your pockets into the Sanctuary.

CHARIOT SKATES

http://www.chariotskates.com Chariot Skates is the brand name for a new type of skate that combines elements of skiing and cycling. Instead of three or four tiny wheels, Chariot Skates use one large wheel for each foot. The unusual design suspends the skater’s feet below the axles of two large wheels. This provides a smoother, more fluid skating experience that’s more like skiing than roller-skating.

It’s like riding a bicycle where your body is the frame.

According to Michael Jenkins, the Australian inventor of these unusual skates, the design incorporates the dynamic benefits of skating, cycling and skiing. Chariot Skates offer more freedom, portability and aerobic exercise than a bicycle, and greater stability and more maneuverability than traditional skates and roller blades. One thing is certain: if you get a pair of these, you will be noticed.

HYPER SUB

http://www.hyper-sub.com Nothing says summer like boating at the lake. And nothing starts a conversation like an unusual boat.

Take the Hyper-Sub, for example. This is a powerboat with a difference. Hyper-Sub combines the lifting and payload capacity of a heavy-duty, 31-foot surface-cruising powerboat with the submersible design of a small manned submarine. It has the horsepower and range to operate on the high seas plus the ability to operate below the surface when needed.

More importantly, Hyper-Sub looks cool. Imagine zipping across the lake for ice cream in this baby. Imagine having one moored at your dock.(Imagine having a dock!)

power play

Great games. Great toys.

Great gadgets.

Reviews by Sandy McMurray

Like most great, world-changing ideas (see Chariot Skates, left) the Hyper-Sub is still in the prototype stage, but it’s not too early to start talking about this with your wife or girlfriend. It may take several conversations to convince her that this is a good idea.

WAVEBREAKERS RC BOATS

http://www.fatbraintoys.com If a toy powerboat is more likely to fit your budget, take a look at WaveBreakers from Kid Galaxy. These radio-controlled vehicles are designed to be tough, durable and safe for young children (and for big boys who want to share the kids’ toys).

The WaveBreakers line of triple hull RC speedboats includes the Coastal Patrol (pictured) and the Hydro Racer. For more adventure, check out the Morphibian Explorer, a land and water vehicle with paddle wheel treads and four wheel drive.

Kid Galaxy makes a wide variety of radiocontrolled toys including cars and trucks, planes, bumper cars and even dinosaurs and bugs. You can find the complete line at fatbraintoys.com

PIXELPADS

http://www.pixelpads.com No plugs. No charging. Not an actual iPad. PixelPads are 100 per cent paper— pads of graph paper with fat paperboard backs shaped like Apple’s “magical” and “revolutionary” new device.

Originally designed as a tool to help iPad software developers, PixelPads have become popular with regular folks who want to pretend they own and use a shiny new iPad. The price is right: the Starter pack ($24) comes with one PixelPad, one refill, one Sharpie Marker, one Pilot VBall Pen, and one Bic Matic Pencil. The Ultimate pack ($99) comes with four PixelPads, eight refills, four of each pen plus a 12 pack of Crayola Markers.

Texas Irons offers several different styles of barbecue branding irons. You can choose a simple three letter brand, to stamp your initials on each work of barbecue art. Or you can go for something more elaborate, with a circle or your own logo. Either way, your personal stamp of approval goes on each slab of meat before it leaves the grill.

BBQ BRANDING IRON

http://www.texasirons.com The art of barbecue requires an artist with style, flair and great timing.

You have to know what to cook, how to cook it and for how long.

Great artists are known not only by their style but also by their signature.

When the meat comes off the grill, what better way to sign your art than with a branding iron?

Sandy McMurray, father of four, writes about toys, gadgets and other fun stuff on his web site FunSpot.ca

seven – issue thirteen july–august 2010 page 29

What women want

Face to face, side by side Hit the off switches and take back quality time

by Sheila Wray Gregoire

It all started with “Sesame Street.”

Learning used to be something we did systematically, with the aid of books, a straight-laced teacher wearing hornrimmed glasses, and a ruler across the knuckles if all else failed.

But “Sesame Street” promised to make learning fun! Letters danced and sparkled.

Numbers exploded! Cool.

Thus learning became entertainment, and soon entertainment became everything. Our society is addicted to entertainment, and not the kind that was once derived from sitting out on the wraparound porch with your neighbours and a bunch of banjos, if such a culture ever really existed. No, it’s the entertainment you experience on the new iPhone I bought my husband last Christmas, which not only makes calls and plays YouTube videos; it also has its own fake “lighter” application, should you ever find yourself at an impromptu concert. How fun is that?

And while men are busy with their new gadgets, women are typing frantically, finding new ways to keep up with friends in 140 characters or less. Technology is now our entertainment and our social outlet.

Unfortunately, technology got women all wrong. We may broadcast on Twitter to everyone we’ve ever known, including some guy we dated for three weeks in Grade 11, that last night’s extra cheese pizza gave us heartburn, but that doesn’t build the heart connections we really need.

You can’t cry on someone’s shoulder on Facebook. You can’t pat someone’s hand on your blog. Most of all, you can’t look someone eye to eye and read the heart, because there is no face to face.

We women need that face to face, which is why we get so ticked off when

seven – issue thirteen july–august 2010 page 30

we’re trying to talk to you and you don’t look up from the video game. We like scrutinizing your face, watching your laugh lines, seeing ourselves reflected in your eyes. When we see your eyeballs, we figure your ears are listening. Without your eyeballs, we figure we’re being tuned out.

And since we’re missing the face to face in the rest of our frantic lives, we especially need it from you.

Men aren’t built for relationship in the same way. A man can watch a football game with a buddy and come away feeling that they have experienced something together. A woman watches a movie with her husband and, while she may have had fun, she often feels somewhat unfulfilled.

Men operate side by side; as long as they are experiencing something with someone else, they tend to feel empowered. It hearkens back to the days when men were hunters, trekking out with their buddies. Requiring eye contact to have real conversation would have been a huge drawback when a sabre toothed tiger approached. Men had to be able to scan the horizon while still debating about whose campfire was bigger last night.

Yet though men are comfortable side by side, it is with women that they experience the true intimacy of face to face. Just because that’s the potential of marriage, though, doesn’t mean we’ll always achieve it. Humans are intrinsically lazy, and it’s all too easy to ignore our deepest needs and focus instead on the immediate, the flashy and the fun, even if it’s shallow. With all these new gadgets, we’re filling our lives with pseudorelationship, pseudo-intimacy and even pseudo-sex. And in no place is this technological intrusion as dangerous as it is in the bedroom.

Not to put it too indelicately, but God created us to know each other, not to know a vibrator. We are supposed to become one flesh, not two fleshly creatures who need batteries.

Am I saying all sex toys are off limits?

No, not necessarily. That’s between you and your Lord. But we were all created with a deep need not just for sex, but for true spiritual and emotional connection, and that’s not going to happen when our focus is on an almost artificial physical high. Sex is the ultimate face-to-face interaction, and if we turn it into a side-by-side one by replacing body parts with things that aim to be bigger and more intense than the real thing, we tell our bodies that sex is about the next orgasm, not about the relationship. Sure, we may be in the room together, but we’re not experiencing it together. We’re not even experiencing each other!

There’s room in every life for a lot of fun, whether it’s on the computer or in the bedroom. Marriage does not have to be a spill-your-guts, bare your soul marathon, 24/7. But it does need to be that way sometimes. If technology is stealing your time, your attention, your focus or your sexuality, then it’s time to turn it off.

Tonight, light a low-tech candle and turn face to face. For if we finally turn off everything else, we just may learn how to turn our hearts—and our bodies—on again.

Sheila is the author of several marriage books, including Honey, I Don’t Have a Headache Tonight: Help for women who want to feel more in the mood. You can find her speaking at marriage conferences around the country, or at www.SheilaWrayGregoire.com.

PK@Home Resources for your daily walk‌

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