Health and Happiness, Body and Soul (May/June 2013)

heavy faith: the war against gluttony living and dying well god in the dark: shining a light on mental health

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may – june, 2013

Health and Happiness, Body and Soul

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contents

may – june, 2013 on the cover

Health and Happiness, Body and Soul

Newsstand Price CDN $4.95

may – june, 2013

4/30/13 1:51 PM Page 1

Whether emotional, physical, or spiritual, being in good health is important. This issue of Seven explores issues what leading a healthy life looks like for Canadian Christian men

Health and Happiness, Body and Soul

SEVEN is a Christian magazine for Canadian men that exists to help men lead more fulfilling lives and leave enduring legacies.

heavy faith: the war against gluttony

12 I don’t want to talk about it | rod wilson “Four out of five suicides in Canada are committed by men, with depression being one of the leading causes. Why is this such a prevalent issue, even among Christians?

living and dying well god in the dark: shining a light on mental health

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The name reflects the seven promises that form the basis of the Promise Keepers organization, which works with churches to minister to men across Canada.

Heavy Faith: is it a sin to be overweight?

| gary thomas If the body is “a temple” like we’re often told, why do we treat it like more of a dumping ground? Author Gary Thomas explores the weighty issues of healthy living.

Living and Dying Well

| andrew gordon This past year Andrew faced a life threatening health challenge that both shook and solidified his faith. Gordon shares the importance of “living like you were dying.”

columns

departments

5 PK Podium Healthy body, healthy souls

8 Pulse Bits. Blips. Beats. Blurbs.

6 Man to Man The “me first” mentality— sometimes it’s a good thing

28 Power Play Tools. Toys. Technology.

four – A promise keeper is committed to strengthening families and marriages through love, honour, protection, and biblical values. five – A promise keeper is committed to supporting the mission of his church by honouring and praying for his pastor, and by actively giving his time and resources. six – A promise keeper is committed to reaching beyond racial, social, economic, generational, and denominational barriers to demonstrate that power of biblical unity. seven – A promise keeper is committed to influencing the world by his fervent love for God while loving his neighbour, seeking justice for the poor and oppressed, and making disciples of Jesus Christ.

26 Money Matters Manage your money from an early age 27 Sports Scene Senators’ Kassian finds faith amid fight-filled career

The PK Canada logo features a maple leaf, indicating our dedication to serve the men of Canada. An arrow breaks into the maple leaf symbolizing the impact we believe God wants to see Promise Keepers and men making in our nation.

30 What Women Want Sometimes hot and heavy isn’t all that great

A special thank-you to all the pastors who continually encourage us to communicate God's truth with grace and love.

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two – A promise keeper is committed to pursuing Christ-centred friendships with a few other men, connecting regularly, understanding that he needs brothers to help him keep his promises. three – A promise keeper is committed to practicing biblical integrity: spiritually, morally, ethically and sexually.

23 Out of My Depth Is your church in need of a checkup?

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one – A promise keeper is committed to honouring Jesus Christ through worship, prayer, and obedience to God’s Word in the power of the Spirit.

Publisher: Brian Koldyk Editorial Director: Jeff Stearns Managing Editor: Rob Horsley Copyeditor: Kelly Rempel

advertising John Steadman jsteadman@promisekeepers.ca 1-888-901-9700

editorial advisory board MARC BRULE: WellSpring Community Church ROB HORSLEY: ChristianWeek KIRK GILES: Promise Keepers Canada JEFF STEARNS: Promise Keepers Canada MATT BREIMER: Promise Keepers Canada

Promise Keepers Canada Box 20099 RPO Brant Hills Burlington, ON L7P 0A4 (905) 331-1830 info@promisekeepers.ca Postmaster: Please send address changes to Box 20099 RPO Brant Hills, Burlington, ON L7P 0A4

editorial 204-424 Logan Avenue Winnipeg, MB R3A 0R4 Phone: (204) 982-2060 (800) 263-6695 admin@christianweek.org Design: ’Segun Olude www.indigoinkstudios.com

ISSN 1916-8403 Cover: iStockphoto

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PK Podium

Healthy body, healthy souls Both are important if we truly value what God has given to us.

by Kirk Giles

When one of my children returned home from school with a hand drawn picture of our family featuring the Michelin tire man, I knew something needed to change. I asked who the man was standing in the middle of the picture and was quickly told “that’s you, Dad.” This moment started a journey that I am still on—a journey of understanding that taking care of my health is as much a reflection of my spiritual perspective as it is my physical perspective.

In Canada: • One in seven men will be diagnosed with prostate cancer; one in 11 will have lung cancer (Movember Canada) • 24 per cent of men are considered obese (Statistics Canada) • Mental health is a growing challenge— four out of every five suicides are committed by men (Canadian Mental Health Association) These and other statistics remind us that we should never take our health for granted. However, we also need to look at our health for reasons that go beyond self preservation.

“Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body” (1 Corinthians 6:19, 20).

“I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship” (Romans 12:1).

John Piper describes it like this: “I want to make sure that I don't mislead anybody that Christianity is just a set of ideas or just a way of thinking or just a way of getting the soul to heaven, when in fact it is has everything to do with your body as well as your soul. It has to do with everything your body has to do with—food and sex and sleep and talking and smiling and frowning and laughing and playing and working. When Christ paid the debt for us to go free, He paid for our body as well as our soul.”

As men, we do not often connect our spiritual life with our physical life.

Yet, according to Scripture, how we care for our body is very much connected to our spiritual life.

Your ability to be a godly father, husband, worker, servant in the church, and ambassador of Christ in the community are directly connected to your physical health. Your ability to be strong and persevere in times of adversity is directly connected to what you believe in your mind about who you are in Christ.

Men who neglect their health are guilty of sin by devaluing or disrespecting the gift God has given to each of us; or worse, placing food or comfort up as idols.

Worship is really the bottom line of what we are discussing in this edition of Seven.

Taking care of our body in a way that shows we desire to worship God is to prepare and strengthen our body and mind for the important relationships and activities in which He has designed us to represent Him. As you read this edition of Seven, I urge you to pray and invite God to show you the ways He wants you to move forward in glorifying God in your body.

Kirk Giles is the president of Promise Keepers Canada. However, his most important roles as a man are husband to Shannon and father to Carter, Joshua, Sydney and Samuel.

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man to man

Learning to lead yourself A regular check-up goes a long way

By Steve Sonderman

Years ago, when working with a ministry to college students I found myself in the middle of a very busy summer season.

The college kids were home and this meant weekly meetings, messages, events and normal pastoral duties. As the summer progressed, I sensed my energy waning and so I did what any good pastor would do—read the Bible more and prayed harder!

On a Monday in early August I met with my assistant to go over the week and I found myself just staring out into space, feeling numb and shutting down. When asked how I was, I responded by saying I didn’t feel well. I went back to my office, closed the door and started to cry. This is not normal for me. I shouldn’t be crying in the middle of the day in my office for no apparent reason, for Pete’s sake! After all, it’s not like the Brewers, Packers or Badgers just lost a big game!

The actual problem was that the wheels were falling off. I was in crisis mode, with nothing left emotionally, physically, spiritually and relationally.

When I got home that night Colleen and I quickly planned a three-day getaway to start the healing process.

I will tell you right now, it took much longer than that for my batteries to be recharged, as the healing was slow and hard. But the one lesson I learned through it all was that if I am going to effectively lead others, my family, ministry, at work and in the community I had to learn to lead myself first. I had mismanaged the pace of my life and the work I was doing for Jesus was ruining the work of Jesus in my life.

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In Acts 20:28, Paul is teaching the elders of Ephesus about leadership and says, “Keep watch over yourselves and all the flock of which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers.” Paul says you cannot care adequately for others if you neglect the care and nurture of your own soul. The problem so many of us face is that the way we are doing life, work, play, family, ministry etc., is often hindering or harming the work of the Lord in our own lives. We are living at a pace that is just not manageable. More often then not we find ourselves in crisis mode, burned out on life.

If we are going to lead ourselves, I suggest paying attention to five areas of life and consider a few things you can do to lead yourself well.

Physically: Many studies show if you eat right, exercise regularly, and get the sleep you need, you will have 15 to 25 per cent more energy during the course of the day and live longer. Build into your schedule a regular pattern of exercise, have your yearly physical and ask your doctor what your ideal weight should be and then get on a plan of your choice to get there.

Emotionally: Most men are clueless when it comes to knowing what is going on emotionally in their lives. One way to begin to identify what is going on emotionally is to journal on a regular basis. Each of us needs to know what refuels us emotionally and take steps to build that into our lives.

Intellectually: Most men are behind on their reading time. Make it your goal to read one book per month for fun, to stretch you, to grow, to challenge you.

Relationally: If we are going to be healthy and manage the pace of our lives, we need relationships that are replenishing. We need a few guys who we don’t have to “fix” or counsel, but who we can go out with and just be ourselves.

Spiritually: Last but not least, one of the things that often goes first is our time with the Lord. It is in our time at the feet of King Jesus when our moral compass is aligned, our soul nourished and purpose crystalized. This will look different for each of us, but if we are going to live a productive and effective life for the long haul, you need to guard and look forward to these times with Jesus.

Men, the best gift you can give your family, friends, small group, and company is a healthy, fully surrendered, energized and focused self. In order for this to happen, we need to lead ourselves, before we lead others.

Steve Sonderman is Pastor at Elmbrook Church in Brookfield, Wisconsin and founder of No Regrets Men’s Ministries. He consults widely with churches worldwide, sharing his passion for ministry to men in every local church. He makes his home in Borrokfield with his wife, Colleen.

FA FAMILYLIFE MILYLIFE Help fo forr today. Hope fo forr tomor tomorrow. row.

™

Bits + Blips. Beats + Blurbs.

BEATS

BITS

by Rob Horsley, PULSE Editor with special guest writer Robert White

BUT IS IT SCIENTIFIC? Various sources have reported that men's preferences towards female hair colour may be shifting in a darker direction...

APPARENTLY GENTLEMEN DO NOT, IN FACT, PREFER BLONDES, AS PER THE OLD ADAGE. A study conducted by the British beauty and health retailer Superdrug, concludes that men tend to prefer brunette women to their blond counterparts when choosing a wife or girlfriend, as originally reported in an article from Telegraph Media Company in the UK. Results indicate that 54 per cent of men would choose a brunette wife, 16 per cent blonde, and 30 per cent indicating no preference. The study was curiously silent about where red-haired women fit into the ‘marriage-material spectrum, as well as whether non-Caucasian women are given a fair representation, given the high unlikelihood of being born with naturally lighter hair colour.’

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The reason? According to the men surveyed, women with darker hair are thought to be “’deeper’ and ‘more sensible’ than their lighter-haired sisters,” writes HuffPost. In addition, the majority of men believe brunette women to be “more experimental in bed.”

No actual scientific evidence exists at this point to support the survey’s findings. Apparently male opinion is evidence enough when it comes to marketing beauty products.

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DEPRESSION ON THE RISE A man is often defined by the work he accomplishes, and the male identity has long been closely linked to one’s ability as a worker. As such, men have always been prone to working too hard, often against the advice of friends and family. However, it might be time to start taking it a little more seriously, as one study indicates.

Depression is the leading cause of Find out more at www.webfilter.onlinesupply.ca disability worldwide, and workplace or call 1-888-665-6936 losses due to mental disorders total up to $20 billion in Canada alone. According to the report from CharityVillage.com, employees are increasingly prone to developing mental illnesses such as depression or workrelated anxiety.

As it turns out, a little pat Serving the Residential, Industrial, on the back goes a long way in Institutional & Municipal Market caring for the mental wellbeing of a company’s workforce. Several studies indicate that high effort output with low reward outcomes spell disaster for the health of workplace environments and lead to stress, exhaustion, depression, and low self-esteem.

The problem isn’t having too much to do—it’s not giving credit when it’s due. Productivity can often been improved by simply rewarding workers for doing a good job, as well as providing more control to employees seeking to manage a heavy workload.

For more on male depression, check out this month’s feature article on page 12.

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BLURB FROM THE INSIDE OUT And keeping with re-treads from the Huffington Post… we knew that pornography was bad for you, but this is truly ridiculous…

A man in China’s Guangdong province nearly died after being admitted to hospital for emergency surgery in early April.

The cause? According to British tabloid The Sun, the still unnamed man managed to successfully inserted a live eel into his anus, allegedly to recreate something he had seen done in a pornographic video.

While small in size, Asian swamp eels are known for having notably sharp teeth. In this case, the eel managed to chew its way through the man’s colon, and perforate his large intestine before becoming stuck in his body cavity.

The eel managed to survive surgery but died shortly thereafter. According to The Sun, a spokesman for local police said that the man “will be interviewed over alleged animal cruelty,” as a result of his actions.

But perhaps most incredibly, this isn’t the first time that an incident like this has occurred, according to HuffPost. A similar incident occurred last year in New Zealand in which a man had to have an eel “removed from his posterior,” as well as an earlier instance where another man in China is reported to have died after friends “allegedly inserted an eel into his rectum as a joke.” Seriously.

Sometimes, words simply fail to do a story justice.

To see the gruesome—and I assure you, they are gruesome—x-ray photographs, check out http://tinyurl.com/bmtbuqm.

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features

I remember one of my first visits to a counsellor very well.

He had his office in his home so I had to park the car, cross the street and go in through his front door. Questions flooded my mind as I crossed the street—what if someone I knew saw me? What would they think? Did going to a counsellor mean that I was really in bad shape?

If I was really trusting God would I be making this walk? If someone stopped me and asked why I was going into the counsellor’s office, what would I say? How could I tell them I was a pastor and I was struggling with depression? It would be easiest to say, “I don’t want to talk about it.”

In his book on men and depression, Terrence Real captures what happens for men who are battling depression and many other emotional and psychological problems: “One of the ironies about men’s depression is that the very forces that help create it keep us from seeing it. Men are not supposed to be vulnerable. Pain is something we are to rise above. He who has been brought down by it will most likely see himself as shameful, and so, too, may his family and friends, even the mental health profession. Yet I believe it is this secret pain that lies at the heart of many of the difficulties in men’s lives. Hidden depression drives several of the problems we think of as typically male: physical illness, alcohol and drug abuse,

seven – issue twenty-nine march – april, 2013 page 12

domestic violence, failures in intimacy, self-sabotage in careers.”

(I Don’t Walk to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression. Terrence Real, New York: Scribner, page 22.)

I wonder how many of us men are experiencing challenging physical illness or are battling a tendency to overuse alcohol or another kind of drug. I wonder how many of us are participating in domestic violence whether it is verbal, emotional or physical. I wonder how many of us are struggling to maintain a close relationship with either gender.

I wonder how many of us find ourselves failing in the workplace and blaming co-workers for our shortcomings while actually having a feeling that we are the authors of our problems.

I wonder how many of us are battling depression and see its impact in various areas of our lives. Who do we tell? Who are our conversation partners? How many of us are living our lives with a loud, “I don’t want to talk about it?”

Even though we may not want to talk about depression, it is a poignant reality for many men. Keep in mind that depression is not a down day, or a fleeting feeling of sadness or melancholy.

Most of us have these kinds of experiences and are able to move on from them. They are not debilitating and do not have an adverse affect on our daily functioning.

pulse

I don’t want to talk about it.

Bringing men’s depression out of hiding

By Rod Wilson

In being able to bounce back after a bad day or snap out of a sad experience, we are illustrating the exact opposite of depression. When someone is depressed they are exactly that— moving in a direction that is not high but low. People who are just having a down day are able to move to a higher level of energy and interest. People struggling with depression are not able to do this.

If you read the literature on clinical depression—the term most typically used to describe this problem—there are usually eight symptoms that are used diagnostically to determine if a person is depressed. The key is not to see these symptoms in isolation but to understand them in a broader context of what is going on in your life.

It’s also important to remember that these symptoms need to be present with regularity and consistency and a number of them need to be happening concurrently. One of the symptoms for a short period of time is not problematic or deserving of the diagnosis, but a significant number of the eight symptoms for an extended period of time would suggest that a competent professional should investigate for depression.

• Significant change in appetite, sexual drive and weight • Significant change in sleep pattern • Loss of energy and excessive fatigue • Feelings of worthlessness, self-reproach and excessive guilt • Difficulty concentrating, remembering and making decisions • Loss of motivation and enjoyment of regular tasks • General slowing down of all motor tasks • Suicidal tendencies Some of us who have problems with depression also struggle with a manic component as well. Within the psychiatric community, the diagnostic term—bipolar disorder—is used to describe these people who will have many of the symptoms described above as well as some or all of the following symptoms, again concentrated over an extended period of time: • Significant elation and expansion of mood • Irritability with impulsive anger • Hyperactive, talkative and highly distractible • Bad judgment leading to difficulties socially or at work • Inflated self esteem • Involvement in risky activities that can bring painful circumstances • Diminished need for sleep

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features

I don’t want to talk about it.

Those of us who have been involved in clinical work know that depression is not something that is confined to the nonChristian world. Some of the finest pastors, Christian leaders, preachers, teachers and counsellors that I have known, to say nothing of dedicated lay people and motivated church members, struggle with depression. On a given Sunday in any church, you can be quite confident that there are a significant number of people in the room that are, or have been, battling depression.

Anecdotal evidence would suggest that spirituality and depression are not in opposition to one another.

We also have examples from history. Charles Haddon Spurgeon, recognized by many as one of the finest preachers over the past 200 years, struggled with depression that lasted for months at a time. At one particular point, after the church where he was serving was burned down, he went into a severe depression. Similar stories have been reported about such Christian notables as Martin Luther, John Bunyan and William Cowper. Their experiences would seem to illustrate that spiritual depth and commitment are no guarantee of protection from depression.

One could also look at the pages of Scripture to see some biblical characters going through depressive-like symptoms.

Note the experience of Elijah in 1 Kings 19 after a spiritual triumph over the prophets of Baal. One would assume that after such a powerful experience with God, Elijah would be high and energetic. At the beginning of the chapter we see him receiving a message from Jezebel who threatens him. Elijah is afraid, runs away and goes out into the desert.

But he himself went a day’s journey into the wilderness, and came “and sat down under a solitary broom tree. He asked that he might die: “It is enough; now, O Lord, take away my life, for I am no better than my ancestors.” Then he lay down under the broom tree and fell asleep” (1 Kings 19:4-5).

It would appear that Elijah’s unique triumph over God's enemies did not guarantee him a life that was free of depressive symptoms.

Maybe you have been wondering whether you have been struggling with depression for some time and after reading this article you are more convinced that is the case. Can I encourage you to talk to a counsellor or doctor? Pastors and wise friends can provide you with support and care but because of the multifaceted nature of depression and because there is often a physiological and biochemical component, it is important that friends and family demonstrate care by having humility around their own abilities to help.

One of the dangers in Christian circles is that we can bring a spiritual paradigm to bear on the depressed person and forget the fact that other dimensions are playing a significant role.

I have seen too many situations where genuinely depressed people experience backslapping and simplistically applied injunctions when what they need is competent help.

Help for people who are depressed needs to blend the spiritual, medical and psychological. Because psychiatrists and physicians have medical training, they are equipped to deal with issues around biochemistry, physiology, medication and, if needed, hospitalization. Counsellors, therapists and psychologists can be helpful on the psychological and spiritual side but it is important that a medical consultation be part of this process. To only deal with the psychological or spiritual component of depression is to potentially miss a key factor. And of course the corollary is also true. To stress the medical to the exclusion of the psychological and spiritual is also problematic.

It would be wonderful if as a result of reading this issue of Seven even one man finally gave up on that unhelpful phrase— “I don’t want to talk about it.”

Dr. Rod Wilson is president of Regent College in Vancouver, BC. He is the author of Counseling and Community, How Do I Help a Hurting Friend? and co-author of Exploring Your Anger and Helping Angry People (all of which can be ordered through the Regent College Bookstore (www.regentcollege.edu).

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Heavy Faith Is it a sin to be overweight?

By Gary Thomas

A Baptist pastor friend of mine described a typical Baptist conference as “50 souls saved and 2,000 bodies overfed.”

Every few months, a new study seems to indicate that, regardless of their denominational affiliation, Christians and weight gain are as inseparable as the bread and cup at communion.

What’s going on? And does it matter?

Socially contagious weight gain I once walked into a Pro-Athletes Outreach conference for professional football players and their wives, weighing in at 165 pounds. That stat alone will tell you I was there as a speaker, not as a player. When you see professional football players on the field, surrounded only by each other, you don’t realize just how big they are. When an offensive lineman walked by me, his arms literally bigger than my thighs, I felt like a scrawny half-man in comparison.

Three months later, I found myself in Duluth, Minnesota, to run in the Grandma’s Marathon. Grandma’s is a large marathon with a purse for the winner—which means it draws elite Kenyan runners. On one occasion I took an elevator ride with one. This Kenyan was about my height, but he weighed 25 to 30 pounds less. As the runner moved

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features

Heavy Faith

off the elevator with all the grace of an athlete who is trained to run very fast for a very long time, I looked down at myself and said, “Gary, you’ve got to start passing up the burgers and begin eating more salads…”

In one situation, I felt ridiculously small and thin; in the other, I felt heavy and undisciplined, even though my weight was identical in both situations. The same body created two entirely different impressions. The environment in which I found myself made me look at myself quite differently.

In fact, a study published in the New England Journal of Medicine found that obesity is “socially contagious.” Your social environment has a tremendous impact on your own journey of either gaining or losing weight. When your close friends, siblings, or spouse slowly gain weight, you are likely to follow, and the reverse appears to be true as well: when those around you lose weight, you are much more likely to be motivated to lose weight yourself.

Perhaps that’s what has happened with Christians, especially given recent studies finding that Christians tend to be heavier, even more obese, than non-believers. When everyone around us in our church communities are just as heavy, or even a little bit heavier than we are, we think we’re doing fine—regardless of our true condition. We’ve succumbed to “socially contagious obesity,” and don’t even think to question it.

Yet we serve in a faith that historically lists gluttony as one of the “seven deadly sins.” If gluttony is so deadly and serious, why aren’t we talking about it? And while most everyone would say a lifestyle of gluttony is sinful, does that make being overweight a sin?

Not a heavy witness I’ve cut my spiritual teeth on the Christian classics—ancient books written throughout the 2,000 years of Christian history— and their witness is so strong against gluttony that, when I began a biblical study on the topic, I assumed I could pick from among two or three dozen biblical passages that scathingly denounce indulgent eating. In fact, the Bible does not say a lot about gluttony. There are a few direct references and several indirect ones, but not as many as I expected to find.

One of the seemingly clearest verses denouncing gluttony is Philippians 3:19: “Their destiny is destruction, their god is their stomach, and their glory is in their shame. Their mind is on earthly things.”

The challenge with this verse (for our purposes) is that “stomach” is a somewhat generic term in the Greek; it can refer to the actual stomach, but it can also refer to bodily desires in general. So while it clearly could apply to food, it doesn’t necessarily do that, at least not exclusively.

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Proverbs 23:19-21 provides the clearest warning: “Listen, my son, and be wise, and keep your heart on the right path. Do not join those who drink too much wine or gorge themselves on meat, for drunkards and gluttons become poor, and drowsiness clothes them in rags?

This is a clear and direct denunciation of overindulgence in eating and drinking, but even here, the implication is not necessarily that they’re unhealthy in themselves, but rather that they might lead to poverty.

Proverbs 23:3 says to “put a knife to your throat if you are given to gluttony,” but in context this speaks as much about demonstrating discipline in front of someone who could hire you than it does indulgence. It’s about social awareness more than it is about healthy eating.

Proverbs 25:27 warns against becoming overly fond of sweets: “It is not good to eat too much honey,” laying down the principle that the quantity of a good thing can become a bad thing. “If you find honey, eat just enough—too much of it, and you will vomit” (25:16).

The writer of Ecclesiastes warns of the insatiable aspect of gluttony and excessive eating: “All man’s efforts are for his mouth, yet his appetite is never satisfied” (6:7). And Proverbs says it is a disgrace to one’s father to be a “companion of gluttons” (28:7).

That’s the extent of the Old Testament teaching. Keep in mind, most of the Old Testament teaching on gluttony derives from the “wisdom literature,” which, as any first year seminarian could tell you, can’t be treated in the same manner as, for instance, the Ten Commandments or the direct teachings of Jesus. While the wisdom literature is every bit as inspired as the other scriptures, its intent is to offer general principles, not laws, and it needs to be read accordingly.

In the New Testament, Paul indirectly addresses gluttony and overeating in his letter to the Corinthians: “So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God” (1 Cor. 10:31). I say “indirectly,” because Paul is primarily talking about whether it is lawful to eat food offered to idols rather than addressing self-discipline. Earlier in this same letter, he writes, “‘Food for the stomach and the stomach for food’—but God will destroy them both” (6:13). However, this is in the middle of an argument against sexual immorality, and is likely responding to one of the Corinthians’ own quotes. Paul is emphatic in this verse, however, that our bodies are for the Lord, not our own abuse.

In another indirect example, Paul describes the Cretans as “lazy gluttons” and correspondingly says they should be “rebuked sharply” (Titus 1:12). At the very least, we can safely say that Paul was not a fan of those who overindulged with food.

features

That’s about it.

Clearly, the Bible looks with disfavour on gluttony and indulgence, but it doesn’t denounce it as consistently or as directly as it denounces sexual sin, laziness, idolatry, materialism, or many other personal and social ills. It’s a fair assessment to state that the biblical witness warns us about gluttony and indulgence, but the teaching is relatively brief and somewhat indirect.

Keep in mind that for much of the period during which Scripture was written, people fought against starvation. They simply did not live in a land that has the abundance of food that we enjoy today. It would have looked foolish to warn a people who lived in a time of scarcity not to overeat. I suspect Paul would more directly address overeating if he was writing his epistles today, but that’s speculation. On the other hand, we have to trust God’s providence that His Word contains all the moral instruction that is vital for the health of our souls. We don’t want to do what the Pharisees did—create concrete new “laws” based on scriptural principles.

Given this, I believe it’s reasonable for the Church to focus on sexual immorality and lack of empathy toward the poor (materialism) over gluttony and a lack of physical fitness. We might be erring in our silence on one issue, but at least we’re silent on the issue with which Scripture has less to say.

Given the biblical record, I don’t believe it’s appropriate to say that being overweight is a sin. For starters, what constitutes being overweight? The Body Mass Index (BMI) isn’t found in Scripture and shouldn’t be treated as such. Secondly, is being an alcoholic a sin? Of course not! But getting drunk is. Consistently

gorging on food could, indeed, be considered sinful, but the state of carrying too much weight might not be due to that and it would be misleading and unkind to categorically declare it a sin to be overweight. I’d summarize it this way: sin can lead us to become overweight, but being overweight is not, in and of itself, a sin. It’s far more beneficial to discuss body care in terms of “wisdom” and “stewardship” than sin.

However, in the history of Christian spirituality, gluttony and indulgence receives an abundance of attention, and we’d be foolish to ignore it. If Jack Nicklaus, Phil Mickelson and Arnold Palmer all gave you the same advice about how to improve your golf swing, it would be foolish for you to ignore them. In the same way, when so many of the Christian classics tell us to “be careful” with gluttony, we would be wise to pay heed.

The ancient witness The early Church father Chrysostom set the stage for others who followed when he warned, “The god of the belly overwhelms the whole body. Set self-constraint as a bound to it as God sets the sand to the sea.” Jerome (a contemporary of Chrysostom) added, “[In] the eating of meat, and the drinking of wine, and the fullness of stomach, is the seed-bed of lust.”

The ancients believed gluttony and sloth weaken us and make us more vulnerable against other sins, particularly lust.

John Climacus, who wrote the most widely used guidebook for ascetics in the seventh century, The Ladder of Divine Ascent, called gluttony “the prince of the passions,” and the belly “the cause of all human shipwreck.” One of the great dangers of gluttony, in John’s view, was that “To be unfaithful in the small

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Heavy Faith

things is to be unfaithful in the great, and this is very hard to bring under control.”

Climacus also agrees with Jerome in seeing a special connection between gluttony and lust: “The man who looks after his belly and at the same time hopes to control the spirit of fornication is like someone trying to put out a fire with oil.”

That’s a valuable lesson. Lust can be attacked “indirectly” by addressing other weaknesses that diminish our overall self-control.

Writing in the 18th century, Fenelon warns: “But the most dangerous thing is that the soul, by the neglect of little things, becomes accustomed to unfaithfulness.” How subtle temptation can be, that our hearts only gradually grow callous, in an almost imperceptible way, slowly, over time, as we ignore the steady erosion of our heart’s godly passions to the unrelenting force of gluttony.

The real question is, are my eating habits slowly pulling me away from an intimate walk with God? Is food serving me by providing necessary nutrition, or is it holding me back by gradually making me increasingly insensitive to God’s voice and presence? Is food shaping me into a man who lives solely for his own gratification, rather than nourishing me to look after the needs of others?

William Law warned, “A person that eats and drinks too much does not feel such effects from it as those do who live in notorious instances of gluttony and intemperance; but yet his course of indulgence, though it be not scandalous in the eyes of the world nor such as torments his own conscience, is a great and constant hindrance to his improvement in virtue; it gives him eyes that see not and ears that hear not; it creates a sensuality in the soul, increases the power of bodily passions, and makes him incapable of entering into the true spirit of religion.”

A moderate approach As many of us have discovered through painful experience, heroic fasting and iron-willed discipline, all done for the sake of piety instead of purpose, usually leads to the dead end of condemnation and guilt. John Calvin appropriately, and I believe wisely, challenged the ultra-asceticism of John Climacus in the Eastern Orthodox tradition, and what he called the “superstition” of the Roman Catholic tradition (which saw heroic fasting as earning merit and favour on its own), but he still upheld the value of reasonable and limited fasting for spiritual health. I’ve read, but haven’t been able to verify, that Calvin ate just one meal a day. Some of Calvin’s followers, unfortunately, focused more on his denunciations of “superstitious” fasting and ignored his writings about healthy abstinence.

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Two centuries later, John Wesley was a tireless advocate of responsible eating, as was the English evangelist George Whitefield. In fact, Wesley’s book on responsible eating became one of the best-selling medical guidebooks in the late 18th century.

Wesley’s general words of advice are helpful: “Many of those who now fear God are deeply sensible how often they have sinned against him by the abuse of these lawful things. They know how much they have sinned by excess of food; how long they have transgressed the holy law of God with regard to temperance, if not sobriety too; how they have indulged their

sensual appetites, perhaps to the impairing even their bodily health, certainly to the no small hurt of their soul…. To remove therefore the effect they remove the cause; they keep at a distance from all excess. They abstain, as far as is possible, from what had well nigh plunged them in everlasting perdition.

They often wholly refrain; always take care to be sparing and temperate in all things.”

Wesley’s phrase that this overeating goes beyond bodily health “to the no small hurt of their soul” sums up a healthy, balanced, classical view of the danger of overeating. Centuries of Christian thinkers have testified to the negative spiritual consequences of gluttony.

Granted, the classics are not Scripture. They must be tested, discussed, and occasionally set aside. But when so many, throughout all ages of the Church, testify so clearly, passionately, and exhaustively about the spiritual dangers of over-eating, we would be wise to pay heed.

Going to war against gluttony So, whether or not it’s a sin, I go to war against gluttony; not because I want God to love me more, but because God, who already loves me perfectly, warns me that gluttony and excess are my enemies—regardless of how good they may sometimes feel.

I go to war against gluttony not to build a body that others admire, but to maintain a soul “prepared for every good work” that God can use to bless others.

I go to war against gluttony because those who have walked closely with God—from the early fourth century all the way through the 19th—warn me that overeating dulls me to God’s accepting presence, makes me more vulnerable to other sins, negatively affects my relationships with other people, and robs me of the joy rightfully mine as an adopted, deeply loved, and accepted child of God. To borrow the line of thinking Andy Stanley uses so well, the question may not be “Is it a sin to be overweight?” but rather, “Is it wise?” The classics respond with a resounding “No!”

Gary Thomas is a Writer in Residence at Second Baptist Church, Houston, and an adjunct faculty member at Western Seminary in Portland, Oregon, where he teaches on spiritual formation. He is the author of numerous books, including Every Body Matters: Strengthening Your Body to Strengthen Your Soul, from which this article was adapted. You can follow him on Twitter at @garyLthomas, or Facebook at www.facebook.com/authorgarythomas

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Living and Dying Well A Story of God's Healing Hand

By Andrew Gordon

I had just finished preaching a sermon about what to do when our health fails. After the service, as I walked across the parking lot, my legs gave out and I collapsed against the side of my car.

For a couple of years I had been gradually declining in health without any clear diagnosis. It began with weakness, anxiety, weight gain, high blood pressure and a change in blood sugar.

In the second year, the decline was a runaway train—chills, swelling, digestion and bladder issues, kidney and liver problems. There were multiple scans, ultrasounds, MRIs and countless blood and urine tests. On a hunch, a doctor ordered a test that confirmed Cushing’s Disease—a small tumour on my pituitary gland that essentially had caused it to go to sleep.

A healthy pituitary gland regulates the hormone level in the body but with Cushing’s, the production of hormones is unchecked — like a valve stuck in the open position. The only treatment is neurosurgery—up through the nose and dangerously close to the optic nerve and brain. By the time I got to surgery, I had only a few weeks to live.

Surgery was successful—the tumour was gone but my condition dramatically declined. I had difficulty breathing, was vomiting blood, had a seizure and it appeared to everyone, including me, that I was dying. More tests. One showed a clot near my heart. It was critical. Doctors weren’t sure how to proceed. They were loath to use blood thinners because of the

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risk I would bleed to death from my surgical site. They didn’t think I was strong enough to survive open-heart surgery. I remember three doctors, gathered around my bed in the ICU, arguing about how to proceed. But they agreed on one thing—if they did nothing, I would die. In the end, they treated the clot laparoscopically by inserting a catheter through my leg up to the clot. Their plan was to release some blood thinner locally and hope for the best. But I started to bleed. They were forced to stop treatment. It was now a matter of wait and see.

That night, I worked hard to prepare for death. I took hold of the promise that God loved my wife and kids more than I did and I could entrust those I loved to Him. Physically, emotionally and spiritually it was a nightmare, not at all what I imagined the “valley of the shadow of death” to be like. If I had not secured my commitment to Christ ahead of time I would not have been able to do it then. But because the matter had been settled, I knew God was with me. Despite the fear and confusion I was able to surrender everything to Him, my past, present and future.

The next morning, to my surprise, I was still alive. I remained in hospital for three weeks. Six months later, I am still recovering.

I no longer view routine blood tests as a casual inconvenience. I now know that we are all just one blood test away from a life altering experience. What do you do when you hear the doctor say, “The test came back positive”? What do you do when that happens to a friend or someone in your church or

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a parent at your kid’s school? We all need to develop a theology of suffering and dying because sooner or later we will all suffer. And die. The Bible is filled with teaching on suffering that we often gloss over—until we’re knee deep in it.

Over the months leading up to my surgery, I had an increased awareness that I was dying. While I desperately did not want to die, I knew that if I was going to, I wanted to die well. A friend, who is a pastor, has a saying that became my mission, “In order to die well, you must learn to live well.” Death has the ability to radically focus our ambitions and goals. I began working through an inventory of my life. I started by looking at my relationships and honestly assessing if there was anyone I needed to forgive. Was there any unfinished business? This was for my own good. I didn’t have the strength to carry those grudges and I needed to forgive those people who had hurt or offended me.

Then I asked God to bring to mind all those people from whom I needed to seek forgiveness. I started contacting them, confessing my wrongs, asking for forgiveness and offering to make things right. Over the years, I have learned a measure of what it means to forgive others, but I discovered that asking for forgiveness was a lot harder! To my great delight, most people were amazingly gracious when I came clean with them.

I also thanked people who had been a blessing or an encouragement to me over the years—a college roommate, a woman who used to babysit me, a friend from childhood, people from church. I told them how God had used them in my life.

It’s strange for non-believers to hear that a God they do not believe in is using them to encourage others. People don’t always get it when you say, “I just want to buy you lunch and bless you.” But in the end, they all appreciated it and it felt good every time I took the opportunity to express gratitude.

Leading up to the surgery, I asked the elders of the church to come to our house, serve our family communion, to pray over us and anoint me with oil for healing. I began entrusting my pastoral responsibilities into the care of my colleagues. I put my finances in order. I fixed our cars and repaired things around the house to make it easier for our family.

I wrote letters to each of my four boys and to my wife, simply reminding them of the good things I see in them, how proud I was of them and how much I loved them. I lived as if I was dying and now, very much alive, it taught me how to live.

During my hospital stay and recovery, we were overwhelmed by countless acts of kindness. Some visited, others cooked us meals, gave our children rides to their activities, and helped our kids get on the ice at hockey. Some sent cards. Some called, listened, prayed, sat with us in the hospital. What surprised me was the visits from distant friends, acquaintances, even strangers. Some in our closer community were silent. So, the love expressed through the unexpected was like a wink and a whisper from God telling us He was still there.

Think about those in your life who are suffering right now, maybe dying. You may not feel particularly close to them but you may be just the person God wants to use to encourage them.

Don’t just say, “I will pray.” Stop—put your hand on them and pray right then. Buy an extra bag of groceries and drop it off anonymously. Leave a message and don’t expect a return call.

Become the hands, voice and feet of God in the life of someone who is suffering. We will all die, it’s not a choice. But we do get to choose how we will live. Live like you were dying.

Andrew and his wife Amy, have four sons: Johnathan, Matthew, Eric and Mitchell. He serves as lead pastor of Chartwell Baptist Church in Mississauga.

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“Be strong and courageous.”

Joshua 1:9

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“There’s a place in every man’s heart that longs to be courageous, to be bold and gutsy and etch a masculine mark of bravery on the human landscape.

In our hearts, we know that a part of the core of true manhood is courage.”

– STEPPING UP, AUTHOR DENNIS RAINEY

“Nehemiah’s life is a testament to courage. God is looking for leaders like Nehemiah to fight moral, physical, political, and spiritual battles.

He is looking for those who possess the spiritual courage to trust Him and take their faith in him into the daily battles of life.”

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– STEPPING UP, AUTHOR DENNIS RAINEY

“A real man rejects passivity, accepts responsibility, leads courageously, and expects God’s greater reward.”

– MEN’S FRATERNITY CURRICULUM, AUTHOR ROBERT LEWIS

www.PromiseKeepers.ca

“There comes into the life of every man a task for which he and he alone is uniquely suited. What a shame if that moment finds him either unwilling or unprepared for that which would become his finest hour.”

– WINSTON CHURCHILL

Out of my depth

A tale of two communities Going back to the beginning brings fresh life to the stagnant Church

by Mark Buchanan

I do an exercise sometimes when I’m asked to talk with church leaders.

I draw a flat line on a chalkboard or flipchart. On the left side of the line I put a letter “A.” On the right side, I put a letter “H.” I call this, inventively, the “A to H Scale.”

Then I assign Scripture verses to several people in the room. The verses are taken from the book of Acts, chapters two and four, and from various chapters in the book of Hebrews. I have the people read these verses in a prescribed and alternating sequence: first a verse or two from Acts, then a verse or two from Hebrews, and then Acts again, and then Hebrews, back and forth until we’re done.

What I’ve paired up in the alternating readings are opposed realities. The world we see in Acts is miles and miles away from the world we glimpse in Hebrews.

They comprise a series of “before” and “after” photos, except moving in the wrong direction: the “before” shots are splendid, captivating, inspiring; the “after” shots are shabby, embittering, depressing.

Like this: Acts: They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer (Acts 2:42).

Hebrews: Do not be carried away by all kinds of strange teachings… Obey your leaders and submit to their authority. They keep watch over you as men who must give an account. Obey them so that their work will be a joy, not a burden, for that would be of no advantage to you (Hebrews 13:9, 17).

Acts: All the believers were together and had everything in common. Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need (Acts 2:44-45).

Hebrews: Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have… (Hebrews 13:5).

Acts: Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved (Acts 2:46-47).

Hebrews: Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another… (Hebrews 10:25).

The journey from the community depicted in Acts to the community addressed in Hebrews follows an arc of shocking decline. The distance between the two, in only one generation, at most two, is stunningly wide. The comparison tracks a fall from a great height. It measures, like an astronomer’s redshift, the fading of a brilliant light. It gauges, like a stock broker’s accounts on a Black Monday, the sudden gutting of mass wealth. The found are nearly lost again.

The children of light live in shadows. The rich have become poor, with nothing to show for it.

After we’ve read all the scriptures, I ask each person to draw the A to H Scale on their notepaper beside each set of scriptures, and then to rate on that scale where they think their church currently falls (the mid-way ranking would fall around “D” or “E” part of the scale) in that area. And then I have them rate their church overall on the same scale.

The scale looks like this: Acts B C D E F G Hebrews • (My church) And then we talk about it.

I have never had anyone rate their church in any area higher than a “C,” and never had anyone rate their church overall higher than a “D.” Every church, at best, is fair to middling, at least in the eyes of her leaders. A number of times I’ve done this, some leaders have ranked their church in certain areas, and sometimes overall, as “G” or “H.” They’ve bottomed out.

I usually at this point in our conversation make a little speech that goes something like this: “Now understand, Acts 2 and 4 depict the early Church in its most pristine form.

The believers were living in the very light of Christ’s resurrection: they had seen, touched, talked with, been instructed by the risen Christ. They were buoyed by an irrepressible joy and bolstered by irresistible courage. They lived in the overflow of this wild exhilaration.

Everything was possible. Everything was new.

“And on top of all this, they had a sense that Jesus would return any minute, swooping down from heaven to make the kingdoms of this earth the Kingdom of

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our God, to set all things to right and usher in the New Jerusalem on the ruins of Rome. What did a Mercedes Benz mean in light of all that? What value did money, or status, or stuff—or even health—have in comparison with that? So this moment was not to last. It couldn’t.

There had to be a coming back down to earth, digging in for the long haul. All the same, we want get as close to the world depicted in Acts as possible.”

That’s what I say. But I’m starting to regret my little speech. I’m starting to think it’s a side-step and a cop-out.

It’s funny, but the older I get and the longer I’m in ministry, the more naïve and idealistic I’ve become, at least in some areas. For sure, in other areas I’m more cynical and pessimistic now than ever: I find, for instance, most people’s reasons for leaving a church inanely self-serving, all the worse because the reasons typically come dressed in elaborate theological vestments. I have little patience left for debates about music. I have no patience anymore for people who tell me they’re “sold-out” for God, or “radical for the Kingdom,” and then find them bailing out over a minor setback.

I have a rapidly diminishing tolerance for the word “passion,” as in “I have a passion for [Fill in the blanks]: worshipping God, connecting ancient truth with beating hearts, restoring the arts to a place of honour in church, or somesuch.” All these are noble pursuits.

But having a passion literally means you’ll die for the thing. I haven’t seen a whole lot of that lately, but maybe I don’t get out of town enough.

So I’m jaded.

But in some things, the trajectory is going the other direction. Here’s one of them: More and more I believe that the Church can look and sound and believe and act like the Church did 2,000 years ago, when the Spirit first fell like fire and came like a hurricane, and everyone liked everyone else, and shared as anyone had need, and bystanders rushed to become participants. I not only believe this is

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Credit: Photo by Gilderic Photography/Flickr

A tale of two communities

possible: I believe it’s normative. It’s the way it’s supposed to be.

Why else would the writer of Hebrews plead with and scold believers to return to what they once knew, if there was no way back?

I love Zechariah 8. It’s a vision of what a community looks like when God returns to and dwells at its center.

It ends with this: In those days 10 people from all languages and nations will take firm hold of one Jew by the hem of his robe and say, “Let us go with you, because we have heard that God is with you.”

Question: Could this be your church?

Yes. And Acts 2 and 4 provide the beginning an answer. Let’s tease out a few things that would help us find the way back.

Here are the two passages spliced together: They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer.

Everyone was filled with awe at the many wonders and signs performed by the apostles. All the believers were together and had everything in common. They sold property and possessions to give to

anyone who had need. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved…. All the believers were one in heart and mind. No one claimed that any of their possessions was their own, but they shared everything they had. With great power the apostles continued to testify to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus. And God’s grace was so powerfully at work in them all that there were no needy persons among them. For from time to time those who owned land or houses sold them, brought the money from the sales and put it at the apostles’ feet, and it was distributed to anyone who had need.

A number of things leap out here, more than we’ll take the time to examine.

The first most obvious thing is how it opens: “They devoted themselves.” That devotion describes a mindful, soulful, unwavering commitment to be something, to do something, to know something. It is a deeply felt, fiercely resolved, strenuously disciplined, and highly focussed commitment to a particular teaching, a distinct community,

and a specific practice. Steadfastness in truth, family, and ritual. In sound doctrine, time with brothers and sisters, and simple but deep spiritual practices.

These things, from the beginning, have been the heart of the Church’s life together. They will remain so until the end.

And there is worship, too, unceasing, unrehearsed, flowing spontaneously out of hearts thunderstruck with thankfulness.

And there is awe. There is a continual sense of wonder at what God is doing in and through ordinary people. Yes, they witness unmistakable supernatural miracles: the lame walk, the blind see, the sick are made well. Even the shadow of an apostle is a balm of healing.

But just as much—maybe more so, more unmistakably supernatural— they’re in awe because generosity breaks forth every which way. The Church erupts in an extravaganza of giving, so sweeping it would be foolhardy if it weren’t Spirit-driven. People act like their stuff is everyone’s: their house, their horse, their food, their money.

A What’s Mine is Yours virus infected the whole lot. Listen again to the litany of wildcat, runaway acts of generosity:

“All the believers… had everything in common. They sold property and possessions to give to anyone who had need…. No one claimed that any of their possessions was their own, but they shared everything they had… God’s grace was so powerfully at work in them all that there were no needy persons among them.

For from time to time those who owned land or houses sold them, brought the money from the sales and put it at the apostles’ feet, and it was distributed to anyone who had need.”

This just might be the greater miracle. This might be the critical factor in the Church “enjoying the favour of all the people” and the Lord adding “to their number daily those who were being saved.”

As I said, I’m cynical about a few things. One of them is the word vision.

I know people who leave churches, or refuse to give to them, because there’s not enough vision, or not one that captures their imagination and inflames their heart. Unless the leadership— though democratically—casts and casts and casts again a vision that is exciting, compelling, exotic, yet also manageable and affordable, able to be accomplished in less than two hours of personal

commitment a week, these kind of people quickly get bored, sour up, cease contributing, and often leave.

It’s worth noting that the leaders and the people depicted in Acts 2 and 4 aren’t casting a vision: they’re living a life. Their vision is already happened, is already fulfilled: they have become children of God, invited into the Kingdom of God. This is the unspeakable privilege. After that, it’s enough—it’s grace upon grace— to be together, to learn together, to grow together. To have good teaching, and deep fellowship, and share the sacraments. It’s enough to worship alongside each other. It’s enough to know that, should I need anything, someone here will help.

This is what every faithful church looks like, with or without some big hairy scary vision. When we do this right—when we devote ourselves to these things—vision is a natural consequence: we can’t help but have impact on the community around us, and then dream ways to do even more.

The way ahead is the way back, and the way back is the way ahead.

I have modest but subversive proposal.

I suggest your church puts a moratorium on vision-casting for the foreseeable future. Instead, I suggest you recover the vision that has already been fulfilled, that you are God’s people, chosen and blessed and dearly loved. And then rally your church around simply being the Church—devote yourselves to teaching, fellowship, sacraments, worship, and stewardship.

Do that, I promise God will give you more vision than you can chase in a lifetime.

Mark Buchanan is an author and pastor living on Vancouver Island. The author of several best-selling books, his most recent title is Spiritual Rhythm.

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money matters

Getting a start on money management A little planning bodes well for a healthy financial future

by Karen Bjerland

With so many financial options to consider today, couples in their 20s and 30s need to weigh the pros and cons before making big decisions. Wrong decisions about money can have a big impact on long-term goals like having children, affording a home and saving for retirement. It’s not that these decisions are overly complicated—it’s more about creating some good habits early in life, like their parents and grandparents may have done, and then sticking to the game plan so shared goals can be reached.

Financial planning advice for young married couples is very much like the game plan for a single person at the same age. Here are a few things that people in their 20s and 30s should consider: Budgeting wisely Sticking to a budget helps people jump off the paycheque to paycheque treadmill—allowing them to save some money each month. Once the fixed

monthly expenses are determined, pay special attention to the daily flexible expenses. You may even want to put a pre-determined amount of cash in labeled envelopes for your unique flexible expenses like: dining out, entertainment, clothing, personal care, household items, auto maintenance, auto gas etc. Be sure to check how much you have left in each envelope mid-month to help you determine what you can and can’t spend for the rest of the month.

Tackling debt It’s critical to eliminate non-taxdeductible debt as quickly as possible.

Debts on credit cards, student loans or lines of credit should be at the top of the list for people in their 20s and 30s, and could be considered a priority even before purchasing a home. Tackle debts with the highest finance charges first and consider consolidating large sums on credit cards into a lower-interest loan that is to be eliminated as quickly as possible.

iStockphoto

Buying a home and saving for retirement Young people who are proactive about saving for retirement can continue on that track while also saving for a home—both can be done at once and here are a few things to consider. If you qualify, the Home Buyers’ Plan can be a possible source of cash for financing your down payment.

If you are saving to buy your first home, consider using your RRSPs. Again, if you qualify you can generally withdraw up to $25,000 as a loan from your RRSP to buy or build a home without counting the withdrawal as

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income for tax purposes. The loan must be repaid without interest over 15 years, starting in the second year following the year of withdrawal. Contributing to an RRSP early can provide an immediate tax benefit and help with the purchase of a home in the future.

Once the house is purchased, people tend to focus on paying the mortgage down. However, a balanced approach could involve investing extra money above and beyond the scheduled mortgage payments in an RRSP or in a TFSA (tax free savings account). Getting money into a savings plan early in life can yield big savings over the course of the next 30 to 40 years. To balance home buying and retirement planning in a way that’s right for you, consider consulting a financial advisor.

The very same things that promote financial fitness have a lot in common with the things that promote a healthy relationship. A couple’s financial development must involve open conversations surrounding income, debt, future plans, having children and building a life together.

In Hebrews 13:5 we are reminded to, “Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” The secret to real happiness is not tied to possessions.

True happiness is birthed in thankfulness, contentment and the ability to recognize all of the blessings that God has provided.

Karen Bjerland is the president and CEO of FaithLife Financial.

sports scene

It’s a good day Senator’s enforcer Matt Kassian on keeping the faith in a pro-sports career

by Scott Taylor

This has not been Matt Kassian’s best year. People who should know told him this was going to be a great year, but when the National Hockey League lockout ended, the 26-year-old from Edmonton found himself in hockey limbo.

Then again, if he hadn’t been sent to the American Hockey League’s Houston Aeros at some point, he never would have met his fiancé, Amanda. So, taking the big picture into consideration, not being a regular NHL player until March 12, Kassian was able to spend some time in his future wife’s hometown.

Still, there was really no way to sugarcoat it: despite the fact Minnesota Wild team executives kept telling him he was a solid NHL-calibre player and despite the fact the Minnesota media kept saying he should be playing with the Wild, Kassian was stuck in Houston— playing minor league hockey for a minor league salary.

And until the Ottawa Senators acquired Kassian on March 12, it looked like he was going to be stuck in hockey’s version of purgatory for the foreseeable future.

“It was a tough situation,” says Kassian, via cell phone from Ottawa, his new, happier home. “Not playing, and not getting an opportunity to play isn’t an easy thing to deal with, especially when it seems that everyone is [saying] you should be playing regularly.

“But that’s when you lean on your faith and go back to all the things you’ve learned throughout your life. You can’t control what a team is doing. You can’t control where you play or how much ice time you get. There are so few things you can control so you have to maintain a

good attitude and keep up your work ethic. Those are things you can control.”

It was obvious, however, when Kassian arrived in Ottawa, that he’d found a way to keep both his faith and his sense of humour. He told the Ottawa media on the day he arrived, “I was kind of expecting Prime Minister Harper to be waiting for me at the airport. My flight was delayed, so that must have been why he couldn't make it.”

Kassian is the type of athlete who learned plenty of life lessons when he was younger. Fact is, he’ll be the first to admit he was never “born again” because he never lost his faith.

“I was very fortunate,” the 6-foot-4, 230-pound enforcer says. “I was born into a Christian home. My mother is world renowned for her Bible studies and my dad is the chaplain for the Edmonton Eskimos.

“However, I think you reach a point in your life where you have to find your own way. I was taught the Christian way, to do the right thing, to truly act on faith, but at about 21 or 22, I felt I had to find my way on my own. There are what I call gut-check moments in your life when you have to decide, ‘I’m going do this, but I’m going to do it the right way.’ I just came through one of those situations. I’m fortunate that I have my own faith to rely on.”

Kassian, who is a bit of a renaissance man, might be the toughest guy on the ice when he plays (he has always been the first player on his team to drop the gloves and throw a punch and hockeyfights.com claims he has a professional hockey fight record of 29-025), but he’d surprise most people when he’s away from the game. He’s an accomplished chef, a student working

toward a business degree and a hip-hop music artist (his secret rap name is “Matty Cakes”). Of course, he is also the son of two famous parents.

Matt’s mom, Mary Kassian, is a distinguished professor of Women’s Studies at Southern Baptist Theological Seminary in Louisville, Kentucky and is the author of several books including The Feminist Mistake and In My Father’s House. His dad is the chaplain of a professional football team and the operator of a sports medicine business in Edmonton.

And then there’s his soon-to-be wife.

“When I wasn’t playing, my fiancé, a true woman of God, engaged in a prayer fast for me,” Kassian says. “We came together over prayer to help me stay as positive as I could be during a difficult time. At a time like that you are looking for purpose and together we found that purpose and in the end we knew God would have a plan.”

During one of the toughest periods of his fledgling hockey career, Kassian was able to maintain a positive attitude and keep a handle on his mental health, simply because he had a deep, abiding faith to guide him through. Now, he’s one of the Sens’ most popular players.

“I’ve made a decision to play a sport at the professional level and it’s a competitive world,” he says with a chuckle. “It’s not a business for the soft.

Still, it never hurts to have your faith to guide you along. In fact, we just had chapel with the Senators after practice this morning. It’s a good day.”

Scott Taylor is a Winnipeg-based sportswriter and broadcaster.

seven – issue twenty-nine march – april, 2013 page 27

power play

Great games. Great toys.

Great gadgets.

Reviews by Sandy McMurray

PUNCH LAUNDRY BAG suck.uk.com

Now you can use your dirty laundry for your workout.

The Punch Laundry Bag needs very little explanation. It gets your laundry off the floor and out of sight and provides a sparring partner when you want to go fifteen rounds with something that won’t fight back.

The Punch Laundry Bag is big enough to hold a heavyweight load, yet tough enough to take a beating.

It’s idea for boxers... and briefs, pants, and shirts. You can even throw in the towel. (Pun intended.)

How will you hang this thing in your closet? No problem...

MAN HANGER bodegoods.com

ASTRONAUT BEDDING snurkbeddengoed.nl

Snurk makes bedding with fun patterns for kids of all ages. Astronaut Bedding makes you look like a space explorer every time you get under the covers. If you have the Right Stuff, you can pretend your bed is a spaceship and blast off for adventure.

Snurk also makes bedding with a trampoline pattern, for kids who really, really like to jump on the bed.

seven – issue twenty-nine march – april, 2013 page 28

DOUBLEKICK CAFFEINATED HOT SAUCE thinkgeek.com

The first kick is hot sauce.

The second kick is caffeine.

If the spice doesn’t wake you up, the caffeine will.

DoubleKick Caffeinated Hot Sauce combines Asian and Southwestern chili sauces then adds a “kick” of ginger and caffeine. The marketing folks say it’s thick and rich, spicy and sweet, powerful and gentle. That’s a lot of words.

Each teaspoon contains 12 mg of caffeine.

How much would you expect to pay for a clothes hanger? Wait! Don’t answer yet!

What if it was a very manly hanger?

The Man Hanger is as tough as nails. It might even be tougher. Each Man Hanger is hand-bent from industrial-grade rebar.

It’s sealed and coated to resist rust and corrosion, and strong enough to hold not just a suit, but a suit of armor.

Now how much would you expect to pay? Guess again (higher).

Okay, I’ll just tell you. You can buy Man Hangers for the low, low price of just $20.

Each. Who would buy one at that price?

Not you, I’m sure. You would want more than one! Here’s a tip: you can save 20 per cent if you go to bodegoods.com and enter the discount code 3ORMORE. You’re welcome!

power play

MOBILE BLASTMASTER hammacher.com

Who wants to listen to your music?

Everyone, that’s who. Luckily, you have the Mobile Blastmaster, a powerful portable stereo designed to broadcast your music to the neighbourhood and beyond.

The Mobile Blastmaster is a 2,000 watt music wagon built on a steel chassis that rolls over any terrain. It has eight Piezo horn tweeters, two mid-range speakers, and a dual-voice coil subwoofer with dedicated crossover. You can play music from the built-in CD player or radio, or connect your phone or music player by wire or Bluetooth wireless.

Dedicated amplifiers in the vented rear drive the subwoofer and other speakers separately while its four-band equalizer provides precise control for optimal audio performance. A 12-volt deep-cycle marine battery provides up to 20 hours of audio from a full charge.

The Mobile Blastmaster also has three cup holders and a bottle opener for tailgate parties. Available in blue, black, red, and yellow, the Mobile Blastmaster goes for about $4,000.

BIG BUTTON REMOTE CONTROL

CAMP CHAIR DELUXE

bigbuttonremotes.com

bushsmarts.com

When I was a boy, there were no remote controls. If you wanted to change the channel or adjust the volume, you walked to the TV (uphill both ways).

That’s how my generation got most of our exercise.

The first remote controls were simple and chunky, like much of today’s television audience. Modern TVs are bigger than ever, but remote controls seem to be getting smaller, and adding more buttons every day.

Big Button remote controls are different. The big, backlit buttons are perfect for anyone with fat fingers or poor eyesight. One universal remote takes the place of several smaller devices.

They’re easy to use and hard to lose.

Bush Smarts is known for its high quality gear for outdoorsmen. The Camp Chair Deluxe continues that tradition.

A good camping chair must strike the right balance between comfort and portability. It must be light and compact for carrying, but strong and supportive enough to make you comfortable.

The Camp Chair Deluxe is both handsome and handy.

It packs up to “burrito size” and holds up to 250 pounds comfortably.

Now all you need is a warm summer evening and some marshmallows and you’re all set.

Sandy McMurray writes about games, toys, and gadgets at funspot.ca

SPICEBOMB COLOGNE amazon.com

Flowerbomb, the bestselling perfume from luxury brand Viktor & Rolf, now has a boyfriend. Spicebomb cologne combines a wide variety of scents including chili, grapefruit, balsam fir, tobacco, and leather. More importantly, it comes in a bottle shaped like a grenade.

Spicebomb cologne is available from Amazon.com.

The small sampler size costs about $7. If you like it, a full grenade bottle goes for $100.

seven – issue twenty-nine march – april, 2013 page 29

What women want

Loving her in the flesh Don't take her breath away for all the wrong reasons

by Sheila Wray Gregoire

I’m particularly fond of breathing.

I do it with great regularity.

Married couples often share a certain activity that changes one’s breathing, making it far less regular and more prone to panting.

That’s all for the good. The problem comes when that same activity makes a woman breathless because she literally can’t breathe. And that’s too often the case when her husband grows rather portly.

You tread on thin ice when you say anything like this to a woman. Women already have body image issues, so to imply that part of loving your spouse is keeping healthy sounds like a coded version of, “you need to stay hot, even if you’ve pumped out four kids and have C-section scars, or your husband will start looking at other women.” Being warned that your husband may be prone to temptation if we begin to inflate is hardly an aphrodisiac, let alone a motivator.

We Christians like to spiritualize what it means to love our spouses. Women are urged to respect and encourage our husbands, not nag them or demean them. Husbands, in turn, are to love their wives as Christ loves the Church.

It sounds very high minded, like something one is able to do after much prayer and fasting and dedication.

It is our hearts that are at the centre of how we love.

Sometimes, though, loving our spouse requires more body parts. Our bodies, after all, have a lot to do with how we experience our relationship with our spouse. It’s our arms that we wrap around each other. It’s our lips that kiss.

It’s our bodies that are joined.

seven – issue twenty-nine march – april, 2013 page 30

Yet there is a difference between a wife needing to keep her body healthy for her husband and a husband needing to keep his body healthy for his wife. When a wife is overweight, sex will still work, even if he struggles to find her physically attractive. When a husband is overweight, sometimes things diminish.

Or slow down. Or suffocate.

Even if extra weight isn’t an issue, your body could still betray you in the bedroom. Let’s face it: a woman can pretty much always make love. That doesn’t mean we’ll always enjoy it, but we’re physically capable of it. A man, on the other hand, can be a victim of parts deciding not to jump to attention, and no amount of willpower can change that.

Two years ago, my husband, a pediatrician, began to find it difficult to read medicine bottles. He had to start holding them away from his face, and did that “I’m playing a trombone in a band” imitation as he tried to find the right distance. He finally broke down and bought reading glasses.

The whole world opened up anew. He could play Angry Birds on his iPhone! He could read the paper! Life was stupendous. His eyes hadn’t been working, so he went and bought something to compensate. He didn’t bemoan how his youth was gone, or how this meant his best years were behind him. He bought the glasses so he could live fully now.

Sometimes stuff just stops working.

We’re okay with that when it comes to our eyes, but when other body parts fail us, we take it personally. Because sex is so wrapped up in a guy’s masculinity, the humiliation is so great that many men give up.

Intimacy is something we were created to crave, and we experience it best through making love. If you give up on making love, you leave your wife without the best route to intimacy.

Manliness, then, shouldn’t be defined by one’s ability in the bedroom as much as it should be by one’s dedication to maintaining fun in the bedroom.

Getting help, when you need it—that’s being a man.

Besides, rest assured that if you show up in your doctor’s office and explain that your performance is becoming sub-par, this likely will not even rank as among the top 10 weirdest things the doctor has heard that day, let alone that week. And seeing the doctor shouldn’t be optional, because when those things stop working, it could be a sign of something more serious, like heart disease.

If your libido has plummeted or you can’t perform, don’t just accept it and find hobbies outside the bedroom.

Get your testosterone checked. Effective treatments are numerous and common.

And if you’re so heavy that sensation is diminishing, or certain activities are becoming uncomfortable for her, then make a decision to do something about it.

Sometimes the most romantic place you can take your wife isn’t a fancy restaurant, but a gym. Show her you don’t just love her now, but you want to love her for a lifetime. And not just with your heart.

Sheila is a speaker and author of The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex. She blogs everyday at tolovehonorandvacuum.com.

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