Celebrate Women (Sep/Oct 2016)

SEVEN PROMISE KEEPERS CANADA

MEN / GOD / LIFE

HOPE FOR THE LOST THE STORY OF HARMONY DUST

FATHERS: LISTEN WELL 10 RULES FOR TALKING TO TEENAGE DAUGHTERS

CELEBRATE WOMEN HONOURING WOMEN AS GOD’S CREATED BEAUTY

SEP / OCT 2016 ISSUE 50 NEWSSTAND PRICE CDN $4.95

2 SEVEN SEPTEMBER / OCTOBER 2016

CONTENTS

16

COLUMNS 6 // PK Podium Through the Eyes of Jesus 8 // Lives Worth Leading Kingdom Leadership in Hostile Times 30 // Sports Scene Faith and Family Before Fame

FEATURES 16 THE IMAGE OF A WOMAN There’s plenty amiss with the way the world looks at women. Whether it’s objectification, the glass ceiling, or simply seeing females as inferior, we need to do better. The Bible calls us to—it’s that simple.

20 10 THINGS DIALED-IN DADS OF DAUGHTERS DON’T DO

20

Having trouble talking to your daughter?

Don’t worry, dad—you’re not alone.

Father/daughter dynamics can be tricky, which is why Dr. Michelle Watson of The Abba Project offers some helpful tips for better understanding and relating to daughters.

32 // The Single Life Singles: Called to Care for Sisters in Christ 33 // Out of My Depth 4 Things We Do Now That We Won’t Do in Heaven

DEPARTMENTS 10 // The Pulse Bits. Blips. Beats. Blurbs.

14 // Music Reviews Deep Breaths…

34 // Power Play Toys. Tools. Technology.

26 ESCAPE FROM SEX INDUSTRY LEADS TO OUTREACH MINISTRY

26

“I didn’t know a lot about Christians but I was pretty sure they didn’t like strippers.” Former sex industry worker Harmony Dust shares her remarkable story of finding Jesus in the depths of darkness.

SEPTEMBER / OCTOBER 2016 SEVEN 3

ON THE COVER

SEVEN is a Christian magazine for Canadian men that exists to help men lead more fulfilling lives and leave enduring legacies.

CELEBRATE WOMEN

They make up half the population, but despite numerous advances over the years, ‘the fairer sex’ still draws the short end of the stick. But a good man cares about women. Women are not to be regarded as disposable, or as objects for our amusement. This issue, we delve deep into what makes ‘the other half’ worth our care and devotion, and how better understanding our differences can make for a better human race.

The name reflects the seven promises that form the basis of the Promise Keepers organization, which works with churches to minister to men across Canada.

1 // A promise keeper is committed to honouring Jesus Christ through worship, prayer, and obedience to God’s Word in the power of the Spirit.

2 // A promise keeper is committed to pursuing Christ-centred friendships with a few other men, connecting regularly, understanding that he needs brothers to help him keep his promises.

3 // A promise keeper is committed to practicing biblical integrity: spiritually, morally, ethically and sexually.

4 // A promise keeper is committed to strengthening families and marriages through love, honour, protection, and biblical values.

5 // A promise keeper is committed to supporting the mission of his church by honouring and praying for his pastor, and by actively giving his time and resources.

6 // A promise keeper is committed to reaching beyond racial, social, economic, generational, and denominational barriers to demonstrate that power of biblical unity.

7 // A promise keeper is committed to influencing the world by his fervent love for God while loving his neighbour, seeking justice for the poor and oppressed, and making disciples of Jesus Christ.

Publisher PROMISE KEEPERS CANADA

EDITORIAL ADVISORY BOARD

EDITORIAL

PROMISE KEEPERS CANADA

Editorial Director JEFF STEARNS

KIRK GILES

Questions and comments

Box 20099 RPO Brant Hills

Managing Editor ROB HORSLEY

Promise Keepers Canada

regarding editorial can be sent

Burlington, ON L7P 0A4

to rhorsley@promisekeepers.ca,

(905) 331-1830 info@promisekeepers.ca

ADVERTISING

JEFF STEARNS

or mailed to Promise Keepers

RICK VERKERK

Promise Keepers Canada

Canada at the address provided.

rick@promisekeepers.ca MATT BREIMER

1-888-901-9700

Postmaster, please send DESIGN

address changes to:

DEVON WAGENAAR

Box 20099 RPO Brant Hills,

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ISSN 1916-8403

Promise Keepers Canada

The PK Canada logo features a maple leaf, indicating our dedication to serve the men of Canada.

An arrow breaks into the maple leaf symbolizing the impact we believe God wants to see Promise Keepers and men making in our nation. A special thank-you to all the pastors who continually encourage us to communicate God’s truth with grace and love.

4 SEVEN SEPTEMBER / OCTOBER 2016

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promisekeepers.ca/quest SEPTEMBER / OCTOBER 2016 SEVEN 5

PK PODIUM

THROUGH THE EYES OF JESUS

WOMEN: WORTH CELEBRATING

BY KIRK GILES

I

n 1995, I was waiting in line to attend a Promise Keepers event when an airplane flew over the crowd with a large banner behind it. The banner had these words written on it: “Real men love women.” It was a protest banner from people who believed that a gathering of men automatically equalled a gathering of men who hate women. We all stood and looked at this banner and just nodded our heads in agreement with its message, while wondering how much money somebody just wasted to preach a message to us that we already agreed with.

Over the years, I have witnessed many different times where people perceived that Promise Keepers Canada was anti-woman. We have seen protests that have been malicious and accusations made that are simply ignorant.

Yes, we are a ministry to men. The truth is this: helping men follow Jesus is one of the most pro-female ministries that can exist, because Jesus was and is for women.

Men have a wide variety of perspectives when it comes to how they view and relate with women. There are many men who are confused about how a woman thinks or how to build a good relationship with a woman. There are other men who view women as objects simply to be used and oftentimes abused for the gratification of a man.

A different group of men almost worship the ground certain women (like mom, their wife, or daughter) walk on. They build their life around making this special woman happy, but fail to see that they can accidentally make her a false god in his life. There are also men who are well aware of their own weaknesses, and compare themselves to the women around them. These men can become intimidated by a strong woman or see her as something he could never be. This can result in men who simply become passive and step back to allow these women to do everything.

As with any relationship, extremes can be dangerous and unhealthy. Men’s views of women are too often shaped by circumstances, emotions, and culture.

In this edition of SEVEN magazine, we will explore the perspective God wants men to have about women. We will not be able to cover every element of our relationship with the opposite sex, but I hope that what is written in this edition will stir some thinking in your own life. Let’s see women through the eyes of Jesus.

6 SEVEN SEPTEMBER / OCTOBER 2016

KIRK GILES is the president of Promise Keepers Canada.

However, his most important roles as a man are husband to Shannon and father to Carter, Joshua, Sydney and Samuel.

GOD HAS A PLAN GOD HAS A PLAN GOD GOD HAS HAS A A PLAN PLAN FOR YOU! FOR YOU! What will be your legacy?

FOR FOR YOU! YOU! What will be your legacy?

What Whatwill willbe beyour yourlegacy? legacy?

www.reachbeyond.ca www.reachbeyond.ca Be the voice and hands of Jesus www.reachbeyond.ca www.reachbeyond.ca Be the voice and hands of Jesus

BeBethe thevoice voiceand andhands handsofofJesus Jesus

SEPTEMBER / OCTOBER 2016 SEVEN 7

LIVES WORTH LEADING

KINGDOM LEADERSHIP IN HOSTILE TIMES

ALL ARE CALLED TO BE PEOPLE OF PEACE

BY COLIN MCCARTNEY

I

n light of recent news concerning the great unrest in the United States, it is imperative that what is taking place there be addressed.

All of us have been shocked about what is happening in the United States concerning racial issues. Our neighbours south of the border are fulfilling the acronym of being known as the “Divided States of America.”

Acts of terrorism, racial injustice, and the killing of police officers are making headlines. Making matters worse is the fact that it is election year in the USA. This means that both political parties are spewing rhetoric against each other that only puts gasoline onto the fires of division taking place.

My biggest fear is that the extreme behaviours our American brothers and sisters are facing will seep into our country and cause great division here. All of this makes one ask the question; “What kind of leadership must prevail in order to bring sanity back to a nation”?

Kingdom leadership must embrace a posture of humility where we can admit that we as a nation are not immune to what is happening south of the border. We must confess that Canada has social justice issues similar to those in the United States.

My First Nations brothers and sisters and other minorities face discrimination here in Canada. I have personally seen it rear its ugly head countless times while serving in urban ministry. I have also seen terrible infractions by those in power against those who are powerless here in my city. We are not excused

8 SEVEN SEPTEMBER / OCTOBER 2016

by any means concerning racial and social injustices right on our doorstep. Racism in America might take on a more blunt and in-yourface form than it does in Canada.

However, Canadian sociologists state that Canadian racism is polite—more hidden and less violent—than it is in the US. But ‘polite racism’ is still racism, and there are far too many minorities in our country that lose out on job opportunities, endure deeper scrutiny by police or miss out on housing availabilities because of ‘polite racism.’ Those of us who do not have to face the injustices must recognize their struggle and the reality of systemic injustice.

And here’s the kicker—we must do something about it even if it costs us.

Secondly, it is important that we as Christians exhibit a Kingdom of God solution to any social issue that we face today. The Church must always be ahead of the leadership curve in every social issue. Jesus is Lord, and it’s the Church’s calling to live out the lordship of Jesus Christ in every facet of society. This means that we must actively live out the Lord’s Prayer— especially the lines: “Your kingdom come, your will be done on earth (insert the name of your city here) as it is in heaven.”

This means that what takes place in the city should resemble what takes place in God’s Kingdom. In God’s Kingdom there is no discrimination, poverty or sexism. In the Kingdom of God no one is mistreated for any reason. The way it is in “heaven” is the way it is supposed to be on earth.

In fact, the Jewish word “shalom” describes God’s will for people in our cities. “Shalom” is the Hebrew word for peace but it’s a practical and holistic peace that involves wholeness and wellness. And when these things lack, it means to restore and make amends for injustices. In other words, it means that every person should have food on their table, a roof over their heads, health, love, equality. In Jeremiah 29 we read that we are to pray for the “peace” (Shalom) of our city in which we live. In this passage, the Israelites were in captivity in evil Babylon, yet God’s will for them was to seek out and be agents that bring about “Shalom” into that dark, pagan city. They were to actively live out “Shalom” in such a way that everyone is treated with honour, dignity, and respect as equals for jobs, housing and other forms of practical blessing.

I believe in the Church. I believe it is to be a “Kingdom hub” in a dark world. I believe it will take Kingdom leaders who see the big “Kingdom of God vision” not just for ourselves but for every person. This is God’s exciting mandate for us who call ourselves followers of the Prince of Peace (Shalom).

/ COLIN MCCARTNEY is an ordained minister, speaker, and a bestselling author. He is also the founder of UrbanPromise Toronto and now leads Connect Ministries in Toronto where he, his wife Judith, and their two children reside. You can reach him at cmmccartney@mcec.ca.

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THE PULSE

50 IN THE BOOKS

A MINI MILESTONE FOR SEVEN

FROM THE EDITOR

BY ROB HORSLEY

10 SEVEN SEPTEMBER / OCTOBER 2016

EDITOR’S DESK / Fifty issues. It’s been quite a ride—at least, the part of it I’ve been on board.

It was the spring of 2012. I was 24, a recent recipient of a Bachelor’s Degree in communications and media, and was coming up on one year of marriage to my lovely wife.

And I was frustrated.

Getting through school had been a struggle. For the past several years, I had alternated between being in school full-time and working part-time to support myself financially, or going to school part-time and working full-time to support two people financially. And the juggling act was starting to get to me. After the better part of a year spent on the bottom rung of a particularly salty construction crew, I was pretty much desperate for a change—even willing to take a $3 an hour pay cut to get off the jobsite and into a place with air conditioning and a lot less cussing.

Lucky for me, my next employer was more than happy to oblige.

When I took over as managing editor of SEVEN, it was part of my duties as the new editor at ChristianWeek in Winnipeg.

My predecessor? Doug Koop, a seasoned publishing veteran who had served at the helm of ChristianWeek for a quarter of a century—which, in case you missed it, was longer than I had been alive, at the time. The thought of me, a daisy-fresh rookie in the editorial world, taking over from a stalwart such as Doug, was a little intimidating, to say the least.

In the course of few hours, Doug did his best to relay to me everything that he had learned in the course of his 25 issues as editor of SEVEN. It was a whirlwind afternoon, that’s for sure. But whether I was more confused at the end than I had been at the beginning, at that point it was pretty clear that I was more or less on my own, though the valuable guidance of the ChristianWeek staff and production department in those initial months shouldn’t be understated either.

But here we are, 25 issues later…and the house still hasn’t burned down.

And the fact that we’re at issue 50 means I’ve done almost as many editions of SEVEN as my predecessor…which is something I’m pretty proud of—even if it means I’m back to living the juggling act.

Truth be told, it can be pretty tough sometimes to balance a full-time gig alongside my now-contracted duties with SEVEN—not to mention trying to find time for a social life and raising a family. But when I stop to think about the things I’ve learned from my time in serving this magazine, it’s hard to imagine being removed from it altogether, even if that day should come to pass at some point in the future. For now at least, I’m happy to keep on making SEVEN a publication to be proud of. So here’s to another 25 solid issues.

Oh, and don’t worry—we sorted that whole ‘pay cut’ thing out. Things are much better now. / RH

ODDS AND ENDS SORRY FOR THE OFFENSE SEVEN / Last issue, we printed a story in our “Odds and Ends” section about a man in Thailand who was attacked by a python who managed to…ahem…snake its way through his plumbing into his toilet. We thought it was pretty funny. Gross, but still, pretty funny. But of course, not everyone might see it that way.

We received some feedback on that story with some concern regarding the value of printing such a story in a Christian publication. And ultimately, perhaps it’s true that such a story doesn’t really add any value to the Christian content of our publication.

Just to be clear, our “Odds and Ends” section is meant to share little a small slice of the weirder and wackier news bits we come across in the course of our day-to-day Internet browsing. Call it silliness; call it comic relief… call it whatever, really. In sharing these tidbits, we’re not necessarily looking to enhance the otherwise straightforward faith-based message that we share issue-to-issue. We’re just looking to share a few miscellaneous newswire blips that some people might find funny.

Which isn’t to say we don’t regret it when someone doesn’t find it funny. And for that, as managing editor, I’d like to say I’m sorry.

But whatever your reaction, we’re always glad to receive feedback, positive or negative, about the content we produce in our pages. Because at the end of the day…at least we know people are reading. And when they care enough to write us about it, that’s a good sign.

But anyway, back to our regularly scheduled programming. Enjoy, fellas.

And for that, as managing editor, I’ d like to say I’m sorry.

/ RH

ON POINT NETFLIX DOC QUESTIONS DEFINITIONS OF MODERN MANHOOD SEVEN / What does the phrase “be a man” mean to you?

To former NFL lineman Joe Ehrmann, he describes it as “the most destructive phrase” he’s ever encountered in his entire life, as stated in a 2015 documentary recently made available through Netflix Canada.

The topic of cultural manhood and masculinity is at the heart of The Mask You Live In. In it, a number of young male interview subjects recall their experiences in having to “prove themselves” as men through a number of means including athleticism, money and/or possessions, promiscuity with women, or even through violence. The film calls into question the assumed differences between boys and girls and why the idea of raising boys to be strong, self-sufficient, and hesitate from seeking help, particularly in areas of emotional uncertainty, may actually be creating more problems than solutions for young males.

Perhaps one of the most striking moments of the film comes in its opening montage,

SEPTEMBER / OCTOBER 2016 SEVEN 11

when several boys lament their feelings of loneliness and simply not having anyone to turn to, to talk to, and to seek comfort in, in their moments of sadness and weakness.

Boys and young men are statistically far more likely than girls and young women to attempt or commit suicide (something that carries on into adulthood), and far less likely to seek help leading up to it.

The negative impact can be seen in other areas of society as well. The concept of power as a ‘take what you want’ model for behaviour is argued to have fueled much of the modern day sex industry, including online pornography and violence towards women. Not to mention the real life instances of sexual assaults on women.

The Mask You Live In is a difficult watch. It’s tough to see the turmoil and heartache that is so clearly at the forefront of so many young males in the United States, though the reality of that struggle is likely one that applies north of the border and abroad elsewhere. But in those moments of darkness, a few bright spots shine through. One father interviewed in the film speaks about how the negative experiences of growing up with a belittling father figure actually allowed him to examine his own emotions in more healthy ways— something he says has made him a better father for his own son.

Two issues back, SEVEN went to press

with the cover title of “Be a Man,” the very same idiom that Ehrmann regards as having been so personally destructive in his own life. In that issue, we explored some of the less-discussed ideas behind that phrase.

Vulnerability, complacency…and what it means for men to find their identity in God. These are things not often associated with the prevailing cultural idea of what manhood entails. And obviously, we chose those topics pretty thoughtfully.

It likely goes without saying that our use of the expression “Be a Man” was partially meant as an ironic play on a phrase that many of us have perhaps heard in some very destructive circumstances. We don’t want our male readers to have their concept of ‘being a man’ limited to the ideas of power, stoicism, and immovable self-sufficiency. Quite simply, there’s far more to the picture than that, and it’s our mission to encourage men to live up to their potential as caregivers and nurturers, husbands on equal footing with their spouses, and most importantly, men who love and are loved by Christ Jesus.

While The Mask You Live In is not necessarily a Christian film (and in fact contains some brief instances of foul language and adult themes), it’s worth a watch for anyone looking for a better understanding of an ongoing cultural problem at work close to home.

It’s our mission to encourage men to live up to their potential as caregivers and nurturers, husbands on equal footing with their spouses, and most importantly, men who love and are loved by Christ Jesus.

12 SEVEN SEPTEMBER / OCTOBER 2016

/ RH

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SEPTEMBER MARCH / APRIL / OCTOBER 2015 2016 SEVEN 13

MUSIC REVIEWS

BY STEVEN SUKKAU

WHERE THE LIGHT SHINES THROUGH

HARD LOVE

EXHALE

SWITCHFOOT (Vanguard Records)

NEEDTOBREATHE (Atlantic Recording)

THOUSAND FOOT KRUTCH (TFK Music/The Fuel Music)

FROM ARENA rock, rap, folk and back again to their grunge roots, like their name, Switchfoot and lead Jon Foreman keep moving and changing their musical stance.

It’s rare to see a band as enduring and endlessly creative as Switchfoot, yet they return for their tenth studio album, Where the Light Shines Through.

Early on the band launches into “Holy Water,” a grunge masterpiece sure to ignite long-time fans. Elsewhere “Looking for America” proves Foreman’s musical dexterity includes rap combined with his signature discontent with the status quo.

One of the more curious, yet catchy, tracks, “Light and Heavy,” carries influence from Foreman’s eclectic solo folk projects, but translated into the full Switchfoot ensemble.

Thematically, the album’s writing is still pure poetr y; even after all these years, Foreman and the rest remain just as unsatisfied with a broken world, but fiercely hopeful, as their younger selves.

In standout track, “Hope Is The Anthem,” Foreman finds the struggle in the dark is what brings us nearer to God, “Sometimes what you need is what you fight, Like a wounded man out on the run… your love is what I was running from.”

AT TIMES a 70’s pop fever dream, backed by modern synth beats, Hard Love sets a new tone for NEEDTOBREATHE after their last acoustic offerings.

Frontman Bear Rinehart has said the album comes from a time of conflict, written in the fallout and eventual reconciliation after a brawl with brother Bo. What could’ve broken the band apart, reinvented and refocused the quartet, but not without a few scars.

Moving through the pain and dysfunction is the only way to find deeper relationships, as Bear sings on the title track, “A part of you has got to die to change… You can’t change without a fallout, It’s gonna hurt, but don’t you slow down, Get back up because it’s a hard love.”

Along with the psychedelic new sounds, musically, fans are reunited with the softer, acoustic side of NEEDTOBREATHE on tracks like “No Excuses” and “Let’s Stay Home Tonight”.

The spiritual inspired “Testify” will also remind listeners of 2007 hit “Washed By The Water.”

In interviews after the album’s release, Bear had stated one of the reasons the band didn’t break up after the fight was the feeling they still had something to say. As he sings on “Happiness”: “This song ain’t nothing if this song can’t set you free.”

THE FOLLOW-up to 2014’s lighter Oxygen: Inhale, Thousand Foot Krutch’s Exhale features a contrasting, heavier more aggressive sound. Originally envisioned as a double album, the first was a calm breathing in, the other an explosive release of pent-up energy.

Kicking off Exhale with a bang, “Running with Giants” is a kick in the teeth with pounding guitars and lead Trevor McNevan’s signature thunderous and malleable voice that transitions from singing, screaming and rapping with ease.

Standout track “Incomplete” will do the open arenas across North America justice with a rousing chorus that’s easy to sing along with a raised fist. Elsewhere “Give up the Ghost” displays McNevan’s guitar prowess.

Wrapped up in their music, the band weaves themes of faith while remaining vulnerable with their own failings. As McNevan sings on the lighter album closer “Honest”: “They say heaven is a place where our pain is washed away, With no room for all the torment of choices that we’ve made, I’m a broken man saved by grace.”

Exhale breathes fresh life into a band looking back on nearly 20 years of making music together. And for fans who’ve felt underwhelmed by Inhale, Exhale will give listeners something to sing about.

/ STEVEN SUKKAU works for Golden West Radio and resides in Winkler, Manitoba.

14 SEVEN SEPTEMBER / OCTOBER 2016

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2016 SEVEN 15 • SEPTEMBER BUILDING/ OCTOBER A BETTER WORLD • BUILDING A BETTER WORLD

FEATURE

THE IMAGE OF HONOURING THE BEAUTY OF GOD’S CREATION

BY RICK AND LINDA REED

W

alk through any Canadian mall and you will see fullcolour, larger-than-life images of women. Stunning images.

Suggestive images. Advertisers know the image of a woman turns heads, especially if she’s stylishly dressed.

Or provocatively undressed.

If you want to keep your mind in the right place as you walk past Victoria’s Secret, you have to follow the wisdom of Proverbs 4:25 and “let your eyes look directly forward, and your gaze be straight before you.”

But did you know God designed women to turn heads?

He intentionally made them to have just the right image.

And the image He created them to have was His own. The opening chapter of the Bible makes that clear: “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and

16 SEVEN SEPTEMBER / OCTOBER 2016

female he created them” (Genesis 1:27).

When these words were first written by Moses, men were already large and in charge. It was a man’s world. So these words about women sharing equally in God’s image were a much-needed corrective to current thinking about women. God was reminding everyone that He created both men and women in His image.

Men, let me ask you: when was the last time you stopped to consider the implications of women being made equally in God’s image?

If you have to admit you’ve not thought much about it, this article is for you! If we don’t learn to view women as created in God’s image, we will see them the wrong way. And we may wind up undervaluing or overpowering the women in our lives.

So here’s what I’d like to do: Let’s look into God’s Word to understand

SEEING WOMEN IN GOD’S IMAGE MEANS WE LOOK AT EVERY WOMAN FROM GOD’S POINT OF VIEW—WITH CONSECRATED EYES. this idea of the image of God. Then we will consider three ways we can put this truth into practice in relationship with the women around us.

A CLEAR VIEW OF GOD’S IMAGE On a basic level, an image is a representation of something else.

For example, your wife’s picture is an image of her—it is a physical representation and reminder of who she is.

When God created humans in His image, He intended us to be representations of Himself. While we are not God, we do represent Him to the rest of creation. Since God is a spirit (John 4:24), we don’t represent Him physically. Instead, we represent Him spiritually and relationally—in the way we create, communicate and relate.

18 SEVEN SEPTEMBER / OCTOBER 2016

We were made to bring Him glory by showcasing something of His splendor.

Now you may be asking, “How does all that affect the way I relate to my wife and other women?” There are many implications, but let’s focus on three key areas.

ELIMINATE ALL VIOLENCE Violence against those made in God’s image brings severe judgment. We know that from what God told Noah right after the great flood: “Whoever sheds the blood of man, by man shall his blood be shed, for God made man in his own image” (Genesis 9:6).

Notice the reason God gives for the lethal judgment inflicted on murderers. Killing a human (the Hebrew word for “man” in this verse refers to “mankind”—men and women) is an assault

on the image of God. God takes human violence personally!

Theologian Mark Cortez illustrates this by asking you to imagine he took a picture of you, hung it on his wall, and then plunged a knife into your picture—right between the eyes. “Are you upset?” he asks, “Why? It’s just a picture, right? Just a piece of paper and some ink. Ah, but it’s not, is it?

That picture represents you, and you know it. By assaulting the picture, I’m attacking you. That’s because it’s far more than just a pretty piece of paper.

It’s an image.

God evidently feels similar when we attack or assault one of his image bearers. You can probably tell where I’m going with this. It’s well known that women routinely experience horrific acts of violence at the hands

of men. The statistics I’ve read about the percentage of women who have been abused physically or sexually are simply staggering.

So the first, baseline implication is that we must never act in a vicious, damaging way towards a girl or a woman. Zero tolerance for violence against women is the biblical standard.

Brothers, if you are out of control in this area (or have a friend who is), you must get help. Violence against women is not only a violation of social justice, it is also an assault against God. And God doesn’t take that lightly. As Romans 12:19 warns, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.”

CONSECRATE YOUR VIEW A second implication relates to how we look at women. God made women in His image to reflect His glory. So when we see a woman, we are to be prompted to remember God’s beauty, greatness and goodness.

Does this mean we don’t notice the beauty God has created in women?

No, after all, images are made to be seen. But it does mean we look at women with consecrated eyes—eyes that look to please Him. It’s no secret that lustfully looking at women is a pervasive sin for many men. Pornography, even among professing believers, is commonplace.

While there are many good reasons for fighting for mental purity, here’s one that is often overlooked: lusting after a woman denigrates God’s image and robs Him of His rightful glory.

On the other hand, enjoying the physical beauty of your wife can be an act of worship, as you honour the One in whose image she is created. G.K. Chesterton had it right when he wrote, “I could never mix in the common murmur of that rising generation against monogamy, because no restriction on sex seemed so odd and unexpected as sex itself . . . Keeping

to one woman is a small price for so much as seeing one woman.”

Seeing women in God’s image means we look at every woman from God’s point of view—with consecrated eyes.

DEMONSTRATE HER VALUE When Linda and I were first married, I came across a verse that—more than any other verse—convicted and directed me as a husband: “Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honour to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered” (1 Peter 3:7).

In this verse, God emphasizes both a wife’s vulnerability and her value. She has weaknesses (as we all do); but she is of great worth. She is equally an heir of the “grace of life”.

As I reflected on this truth, I was reminded that God had graciously given both of us physical life, creating us in His image. On top of that, when we had trusted Christ for salvation, He had also graciously given us eternal life. He was recreating us in the image of Christ (Romans 8:29).

God clearly values my wife and calls me to do the same. I am to protect her vulnerabilities and promote her value. And if I don’t, He won’t answer my prayers! How's that for hard evidence that God is serious about my obedience when it comes to how I treat my wife?

For the past thirty-three years, I’ve been learning how to “show honour” to my wife in a God-honouring way.

Here are a few valuable lessons I’ve learned (sometimes the hard way) about how a husband can practically demonstrate his wife’s great value.

• Listen carefully to her perspective; don’t quickly dismiss her viewpoint, especially when she sees life

differently or is providing counsel. This shows you value her viewpoint, even when it’s different than your own.

• Make time to spend with her and give her your undistracted, full attention. Put the cell phone away to show you value her more than staying connected to work.

• Take initiative to plan regular outings or date nights. Putting energy into these times evidences the value you place on your relationship.

• Take the lead in reading Scripture and praying with her.

Even if this is a stretch for you, ask God to give you the courage to do it. It communicates you value her as a spiritual partner in life.

JUSTICE AND JOY We live in a culture that puts great emphasis on a woman’s image—how she looks to others. The Bible starts from a different place. It tells us women already have a great image— they bear the image of God. When we as men miss this truth, we are prone to mistreat women. But when we get it right, women tend to get treated right. It begins with basic issues of social justice, but goes much further. Viewing women as equal image-bearers will move us to honour them in a way that pleases God and brings them great joy. Imagine the difference that would make!

/ RICK REED serves as the president of Heritage College and Seminary in Cambridge, Ontario, and was previously the lead pastor at Metropolitan Bible Church in Ottawa. He’s been a speaker at numerous Promise Keepers Canada events. Rick is married to Linda who leads the Heritage Centre for Women in Ministry.

SEPTEMBER / OCTOBER 2016 SEVEN 19

FEATURE

20 SEVEN SEPTEMBER / OCTOBER 2016

10 THINGS DIALED-IN DADS OF DAUGHTERS DON’T DO LISTEN WELL, LOVE BETTER

BY DR. MICHELLE WATSON

SEPTEMBER / OCTOBER 2016 SEVEN 21

PLEASE HEAR ME WHEN I SAY THAT THIS IS THE EX ACT TIME THAT YOUR DAUGHTER NEEDS YOU MORE THAN EVER.

B

eing a dad who stays the course with your daughter is easier said than done, right? Let’s be honest, when she was younger, used fewer words, and was less emotionally complex, she was easier for you to track with. But as she has grown, so have her needs and wants…and words!

It’s right here, in the middle of her ever-changing trek to maturity, where you as a dad can easily get overwhelmed and lost. And it’s right here where you might mistakenly step back and decide that her mom is better suited for the task since she’s a girl and therefore has the better skill set to more effectively navigate her life.

Please hear me when I say that this is the exact time that your daughter needs you more than ever. She needs your maleness, your love and energy, your tender care and positive encouragement to help her stay steady and strong (even if her responses give you an opposing message).

Let me pause for a moment and say that just in case you’re wondering why a woman is telling you how to be a better father, I want you to know that I place such high value on you as a dad that I have invested hundreds

22 SEVEN SEPTEMBER / OCTOBER 2016

of hours into helping dads connect with their daughters. I’ve been leading fathers of daughters in The Abba Project (a group forum for dads) for almost seven years now, speak to both female and male audiences, have written a book to help dads succeed, and have been a mentor and counselor to teenage and 20-something girls for more than 37 years, in addition to being the oldest of four girls. All of this simply underscores my passion to equip fathers in decoding their daughters by giving them trade secrets from the inside.

I truly believe that we will see our world change for the better as fathers dial in to the heart space of their daughters. Because when a girl is well loved by her dad she makes better choices, stands steadier, and shines brighter.

But don’t just take my word for it.

The overriding themes in research strongly and consistently support that children who feel connected to their fathers: • Do better in school, get better grades, and are more likely to finish high school as well as attend college • Experience greater self-esteem

• Have significantly less suicide attempts • Have less body dissatisfaction and healthier weights • Delay having premarital sex, along with decreases in teen pregnancy • Are more likely to find steady employment • Report less depression • Have lower rates of substance use (drugs and alcohol) • Display empathy and prosocial behaviour compared to kids with uninvolved fathers

God even says that dads matter. In fact, he states that if the hearts of fathers don’t turn towards their children He will come and strike the land with a curse (Malachi 4:6). We don’t have to look very far to see the effect of that curse, do we? I understand that for many men it takes more intention and work to turn their heart than simply to turn their head toward their daughter. But the result of dad-daughter meaningful connection and relational heart engagement yields lasting rewards beyond anything that can be imagined.

Dad, as a way to support your desire to dial in to your daughter’s heart, here are a few things I’ve learned along the way, ten “landmines” to avoid, if you want to raise a healthy, vibrant, loving, and spirited daughter.

Here’s what not to do and say if you really want to be a fantastic dad:

1.

TELL HER SHE’S TOO EMOTIONAL The reality is that as women we have eleven per cent more neurons in our brain centers involved in hearing and language as compared to men, oftentimes leading us to be better skilled at expressing emotions. It’s been shown that women retain emotional memories more vividly than men do, which serves as another piece of the puzzle when it comes to you as a dad honouring the wiring of your daughter, particularly when it comes to emotional responses. Make sure never to mock or belittle her emotive style of expression even as you direct her along the way.

2.

REQUIRE HER TO TALK CALMLY AND RATIONALLY IN ORDER TO COMMUNICATE WITH YOU I do understand that most men “flood” (i.e. zone out) when there is too much emotion coming at you because it feels like you need to fix and have the answers. However, the more you can be a sounding board as your daughter vents and expresses, the more you are a gift to her. Because when we as women talk and express while feeling our emotions, the calmer we tend to become. It’s all about neurochemistry in the female brain that syncs, balances, and regulates as this process takes place.

Just remember that you don’t have to

fix it. Listening to her is the best gift you can give.

3.

CRITICIZE HER There’s a substantial difference between choosing certain times to correct or discipline and putting her down or highlighting things she’s doing wrong, especially in front of other people. One researcher talks about the concept of a “love bank” by saying there needs to be five deposits to every one withdrawal to make a relationship strong. If you have something that needs to be addressed, be sure to pack a lot of positive, lifebreathing, encouraging statements around your corrections and it will have a much higher success rate of responsiveness. Remember the 5:1 ratio…daily.

4.

TEASE HER ABOUT HER WEIGHT OR ANY PART OF HER BODY I understand that guys tend towards joking with each other about body parts and it’s no big deal. Not with girls. We remember things that are said, even in jest, forever. Everything.

Make sure to never, ever, under any circumstances tease her about her weight, her size (breast size, pant size, etc.), or any imperfections on her body. Those words will easily stay with her long after they’re said. And

SEPTEMBER / OCTOBER 2016 SEVEN 23

even if she seems to laugh it off, those reminders of her flaws are hurtful and will most likely lead to less selfconfidence, a negative body image, and could contribute to the onset of an eating disorder.

5.

PUT HER MOTHER DOWN Whether you’re still married or divorced, when you demean, criticize, or speak negatively about your daughter’s mom, you are essentially criticizing her. She will hear your words as you saying she will turn out the same way. Because every daughter sees herself as some sort of reflection of the woman who brought her into the world, she uses mom as a reference point for understanding herself. Look for the positives in her mom (even if it’s a stretch) and point them out to your daughter.

6.

THINK YOUR ACTIONS BEHIND CLOSED DOORS DON’T MATTER OR ARE INCONSEQUENTIAL We’ve all heard the adage, “Do as I say, not as I do.” But really, who are we kidding here? As a dad, just remember that the choices you make when no one is looking are the things that define you and measure your integrity. Let your actions both publicly and privately be filled with self-respect if you want your daughter to live out her morals, beliefs, and values in a solid way. Let me say it another way: Be the man you want her to marry. It starts with you, dad.

7.

FORGET HER BIRTHDAY Each of us has an innate desire to

24 SEVEN SEPTEMBER / OCTOBER 2016

be known and even celebrated.

But simultaneously, we as girls don’t always feel we’re worth the party. This is where you as her dad come in. Your investment of time, energ y, and money tell her that she’s worthy, valued, and loved.

Make sure to join in the celebration on her birthday because it shouts, “I’m glad you were born!”

8.

COMPARE HER TO HER SIBLINGS Although it might slip out of your mouth, try and avoid ever saying, “Why can’t you be more like…” You see, we girls compare ourselves to everyone else without prompting. So if you add to that reality, it only fuels an already existing internal fire. Make sure to let her know that she’s “one of a kind” though at times she may feel like she’s only “one out of a million” (because there’s a huge difference there!). Let her know she’s unique and beautiful just because she’s herself.

9.

interaction when you’re calm. You’ll never regret waiting to speak.

10.

GIVE MONETARY GIFTS RATHER THAN YOURSELF In a world where life seems to be increasingly speeding up, it can be easy to give things more than yourself to your daughter. Remember that she wants and needs you, your heart, your attention, and your time more than any monetary thing. You, dad, are the gift. And when you give her you, it communicates that she is worthy of your attention and focus. Why not take time today to write a note to her (in your own handwriting)?

I assure you that notes you pen will be treasured. Don’t be surprised if she saves them forever. Why? Because your view of her matters more than all the rest…honest!

Dad, if you keep the word “don’t” in front of all these suggestions you will be well on your way to being a fantastic, focused, dialed-in, intentional, and consistent dad for your daughter. Go Dad!

SPEAK IN ANGER If I had a dollar for all the times I’ve heard daughters, often with tears running down their cheeks, tell me about the wounding that has been experienced as a result of dad’s anger, I’d be rich. Words spoken in anger do the most damage to a daughter’s heart over anything else I hear from girls about their relationship with their dads. If you want her heart to stay open to you, make a contract with yourself to never speak in anger to her again because it destroys her spirit and her soul. I suggest stepping away to decompress with a time frame that corresponds to your age (one minute per year of your life), then come back to continue the

/ DR. MICHELLE WATSON is a speaker, blogger, and founder of The Abba Project, a ministry that seeks to help fathers better connect with their daughters. She is also author of Dad, Here’s What I Really Need from You: A Guide for Connecting with Your Daughter’s Heart. For more information and resources, visit drmichellewatson.com.

I’d love to hear back from you as you put these concepts into practice.

Write me and tell me your stories at drmichellewatson@gmail.com or www.facebook.com/drmichellewatson or @mwatsonphd on Twitter.

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SEPTEMBER / OCTOBER 2016 SEVEN 25

FEATURE

M O R F E P A ESC TRADE SEX STRY U D IN S TO D A E L EACH R T U O S T RY I N I M 26 SEVEN SEPTEMBER / OCTOBER 2016

TREASURES-TRAINED MINISTRIES IN CANADA Treasures trains, equips and mobilizes those who will provide strong, grassroots, outreach ministries to women in the sex trade industry.

To date, Harmony Dust and the Treasures team have trained leaders in more than 100 cities on five continents. In Canada those ministries are: Alberta PRICELESS http://reachpriceless. wordpress.com Greater Niagara area in Ontario JC’S NIGHTLIGHT MINISTRIES http://jcnightlight.com Saskatoon, Saskatchewan LILIES AMONG THORNS facebook.com/ latsaskatoon Vancouver, British Columbia Vancouver Strip Church facebook.com/ StripChurchVancouver

SEPTEMBER / OCTOBER 2016 SEVEN 27

FROM STRIP CLUBS TO SALVATION

BY ROBERT WHITE

I

“

did not have the dream to grow up and be a stripper,” says Harmony Dust, who eventually became one of the 89 per cent of women in the sex industry who dream of escape. And since escaping, Harmony has gone on to develop a ministry that reaches out to women in the sex industry around the world.

Harmony tells her story on Promise Keepers Canada’s web series, This Is Me (thisismetv.com) which begins the same way as many in the sex industry: with abuse.

“I grew up in a violent home in a violent neighbourhood,” recalls Harmony. “I was sexually abused throughout my life by multiple people, both men and women, starting at age of five and raped as a teen.

“One of my abusers was my mother’s boyfriend. She knew what was going on and she didn’t stop him.

She taught me what she learned when she was a young girl being abused: that it’s my fault. She’d tell me ‘if you don’t wear tank tops, if you don’t wear shorts this wouldn’t be happening, you should know how men are.’”

Eventually Harmony’s mother and her boyfriend took a trip to Canada, leaving Harmony and her brother with a small amount of money and a book of food stamps. An older boy in

28 SEVEN SEPTEMBER / OCTOBER 2016

the neighbourhood, who she’d known since she was eleven, started caring for them.

“I looked at him and saw this knight in shining armour and had no idea his intention was to exploit me.”

When Harmony was 19, her boyfriend suggested she become a stripper, but she didn’t want to. But everyone she turned to for advice seemed to agree with her boyfriend.

Harmony went to her boss who told her “if I looked like you, I’d do that” and “use what God gave you and make some money.” She also went to one of her university professors, who she trusted and respected.

“I said I didn’t want it to ruin any chance I may have of being a psychologist one day,” says Harmony.

“He was like, ‘well it’s not like you have to put it on your resume. I don’t really see a problem with it.’

“He took away all the excuses I had for not doing it.” And he also asked Harmony where she would be working.

“I don’t know why I told him, but sure enough he came.”

With that, Harmony’s life as stripper began. Or, rather, Monique’s life as a stripper began.

When Harmony arrived for her first night of work, the DJ asked for her name, which he wrote down on his board. “But seeing it in black and white like that just freaked me out,” says Harmony. She asked him to take it down and write “Monique.

From that point on, I became Monique.

“Monique was whoever the

customers wanted Monique to be,” says Harmony. “Everything I said to the customers was a lie. I didn’t tell them the truth about where I went to school. I didn’t even tell them my dog’s real name.

“I had my real name, my fake name and a fake real name, a fake school I went to and a fake neighbourhood I lived in and a fake life.” Harmony went so far as to hide her identity in her daily life by wearing sweat pants, baggy clothes and glasses. “I didn’t want to be seen…recognized…(or) looked at.”

Harmony’s double life took an interesting twist when she started taking ballet lessons. There she met a woman whose friendship changed her life.

“She had respect for herself, had boundaries and lived with a sense of purpose and was free,” recalls Harmony.

“She treated me like a person and loved me. I never felt like a project.”

When Harmony discovered that this woman was a Christian, she thought she’d ruined the friendship.

“I didn’t know a lot about Christians but I was pretty sure they didn’t like strippers.

When she first started attending church and was asked her name, she hesitantly answered “Harmony.”

“I would almost feel startled to hear my name,” she says. “My only contact was with my abusive pimp boyfriend, the customers in the club and the other girls dancing there. Nobody

“I DIDN’T KNOW A LOT ABOUT CHRISTIANS BUT I WAS PRETTY SURE THEY DIDN’T LIKE STRIPPERS.”

called me Harmony, everybody called me Monique.

“But all I knew was I wanted to be in church every time the doors were open. But I had this other life where I would go to church on a Wednesday night and go to the strip club afterwards for my shift ‘cause that was my job.” But, recalls, Harmony, doing her job became more and more challenging.

“I remember one night being in the strip club when I started getting real emotional and started crying, which was very unusual for me,” Harmony says. “I was so disconnected from every emotion except for anger that I wouldn’t cry. But here I found myself crying and I looked around and thought ‘if I was created for a purpose, this can’t be it.’

“I got onstage for my first set and all of a sudden I looked around and I felt naked. I’d been naked there for years and all of a sudden I felt naked, I felt exposed and vulnerable. After the set was finished I went back to the dressing room and told myself: “shake it off, you have to make money, you can’t quit, go back out and hustle.’”

But she couldn’t continue. But she didn’t feel she could leave either.

Harmony had only seen one person quit, and that was to marry a rich customer. But she also felt God say to her in that moment that He hadn’t let her down and He wasn’t going to let her down.

Harmony told her manager that night she was leaving, threw all of her clothes out of her locker and sold them to the others.

“I (didn’t) want anything that would give me an easy way to go back—and walked out of that club and never went back,” she says. “When I drove off that night I felt so free.”

Harmony also freed herself from the relationship with her abusive boyfriend, which she said was harder to do than leave stripping. “I actually

called him and told him I quit.

“He said ‘I don’t understand.’ I said ‘you don’t have to understand, you just have to accept it’ and hung up.”

Since leaving the sex industry, Harmony has written a memoir (Scars and Stilettos), earned a master’s degree in Social Work at UCLA, worked as a social worker (where she received Dorothy F. Kirby Outstanding Youth Social Worker Award from the National Associate of Social Workers) and, in 2003, started Treasures, a survivorled outreach and support group ministry to women in the sex industry.

“Our mission is to help them live healthy and flourishing lives,” says Harmony about Treasures, whose motto is Loved. Valued. Purposed.

“We provide care and outreach to 170 strip clubs a year in L.A. and Las Vegas. We don’t try to change them, we just love them where they’re at and walk alongside them through their journey.”

By locating the Treasures headquarters in the heart of the Adult Industry Capital of the World, in the San Fernando Valley of Los Angeles where 90 per cent of all legal porn worldwide is filmed, distributed, and or manufactured, Harmony sees hope for those trapped in the sex industry because of her own experience.

“What I’ve done is not who I am,” she says. “And just because I did that before doesn’t mean I have to do it again. And doesn’t mean I have to be that person who did that before.”

/ ROBERT WHITE is an Ontario-based freelance journalist who has been writing about men’s ministries since the mid 1980's. He also blogs about the intersection of faith, the arts and Canadian culture at www.rdaleleslie. wordpress.com.

SEX INDUSTRY FACTS > There are more women currently employed by the sex industry than any other time in history. > The porn industry releases 11,000 adult movies per year—more than 20 times the mainstream movie production. > At $13.3 billion US, the 2006 revenues of the sex and porn industry in the U.S. are bigger than the NFL, NBA and Major League Baseball combined. > Human trafficking is the second largest global organized crime today, generating approximately $31.6 billion USD each year. > 33 per cent of surveyed clergy admitted to having visited a sexually explicit website. Of those who had visited a porn site, 53 per cent had visited such sites “a few times” in the past year, and 18 per cent visit sexually explicit sites between a couple of times a month and more than once a week.

(Statistics from www.iamatreasure.com)

SEPTEMBER / OCTOBER 2016 SEVEN 29

SPORTS SCENE

FAITH AND FAMILY BEFORE FAME

BLUE JAYS’ YOUNGSTER SHARES WISDOM BEYOND HIS YEARS

BY CARTER BROOKS

I

t was a game that will live on forever in the hearts and minds of every viewer. For Toronto Blue Jays fans, there were countless moments in game five of the 2015 American League Division Series where time seemingly stood still.

Building off of a dominant pitching performance from Marcus Stroman— who suffered a torn ACL just 219 days earlier—the Blue Jays hung tight with the Texas Rangers in the decisive game of the ALDS. A mammoth moonshot by Edwin Encarnacion, some outfield heroics from center-

30 SEVEN SEPTEMBER / OCTOBER 2016

fielder, Kevin Pillar, a 53-minute seventh inning featuring a go-ahead run scored off of a throwback, three Ranger errors, a storied Jose Bautista bat flip, and a handful of bench-clearing brawls set the stage for a 20-year-old Blue Jays closing pitcher.

Enter, Roberto Osuna.

With all the eyes of Canada, the United States and Mexico cast upon his shoulders, the youngest player to ever dress for the Blue Jays delivered in the most important outing of his young career. In striking out four of five batters, Osuna put the nail in the coffin of the Texas Rangers, propelling the Jays to their first American League Championship Series since 1993.

Much like the way he carefully stepped off the mound—with the cameras focused his way—to offer up a 30-second prayer before throwing his first pitch in the bottom of the eighth inning, Osuna followed his custom and crossed his chest, patted his heart, tapped his forehead and pointed skyward before any of his teammates could pummel him following his final strikeout of the series.

Some may argue against the outright display of faith, citing snippets of Jesus’ remarks towards the Pharisees. But for Roberto Osuna, it is not a public display that he is after, just a time of peace and solitude where he thanks God for everything that has been provided to him.

Growing up in Sinaloa, Mexico provided many difficulties for the Osunas. The entire family was stuffed into a very compact dwelling place, and often found themselves sleeping together on the same mattress.

To help his family through the arduous times, Roberto quit school at

age 12 and picked vegetables for his family. With baseball in his blood, Osuna took pitching lessons from his father, Roberto Sr., who spent 22 seasons pitching professionally in Mexico.

Although he learned about baseball from his father, it was his mother who taught him about Christ.

“I have been in the faith since I was a little kid,” Osuna said. “I learned about Christ from my mother long ago. My mom always taught me that in whatever I do, to trust in God and always be thankful for what I have received. Right now it is baseball, and I play for God. But I also play for the team, and try to do my best, always giving thanks to the Lord.”

In being the first 1995born player to play in the Majors, Osuna’s path to the Blue Jays was not always easy. At age eighteen, as a prospect in Toronto’s system, Osuna tore his ulnar collateral ligament and was forced to undergo Tommy John surgery. The recovery was taxing on his body, and at times Roberto thought that his career was over. But through prayer and hard work, he was able to bounce back tremendously.

“Prayer is obviously something I believe in doing continuously,” he said. “I have learned that you have to be the same guy, no matter the situation. If you’re doing good, that’s great, if you’re doing bad, you’re not alone, as everybody has a bad moment. You just have to try to keep being positive and get out of that situation as soon as possible; that is where prayer comes in.”

After following up his stellar rookie season with a solid sophomore campaign, Osuna is due for a hefty raise for the 2017 season. In Roberto’s

It was a game that will live on forever in the hearts and minds of every viewer.

Photos courtesy of Toronto Blue Jays

mind, there is no question where his money will be going.

“I will continue to bring my money home for my family,” he said.

“Everything I do, and everything I have is for my family. They are the only ones who have been with me this whole time; what is mine is theirs.”

As rare as it is to see a humble, outgoing, Christian athlete, it is even more unusual to see one at such a young age, on such a large stage.

Through it all, Roberto Osuna knows just how blessed he is to have this chance to put God’s work on display.

“It is amazing to look back on how God has worked in my life,” he said.

“I came up to the big leagues when I was 20 years old. To still be here at 21, I am just so blessed and obviously so thankful to God for everything He has given me.”

/ CARTER BROOKS is a news writer and sports columnist situated in Winnipeg, Manitoba. On top of reading and writing, coaching hockey is his favourite pastime. Carter can be reached at carterbrooks1994@gmail.com.

SEPTEMBER / OCTOBER 2016 SEVEN 31

THE SINGLE LIFE

SINGLES: CALLED TO CARE FOR SISTERS IN CHRIST

USE YOUR GIFTS TO TREAT WOMEN RIGHT

BY PAUL BOGE

A

t first glance it can seem counter-intuitive to think of singleness as a gift. We read about it in the Bible, but it can get skimmed over at best, and ignored completely at worst. In a culture of individualism, we can lose track of how God gifts people for the benefit of others.

Our cultural mindset makes the mistake of thinking that a gifting must be for our own benefit first. But this misses the purpose of gifting. God uses every gift to bring glory to Him and for the benefit of others. And when it comes to singleness, we specifically see how God has gifted us to show love to our sisters in the Lord.

1 Corinthians 7:7 says “I wish that all persons were as I am, but each one has their own gift from God, one has one kind, another has another kind.”

Later, in 1 Corinthians 12:7 Paul says “the manifestation of the Spirit is given for the common good.” This tells us that singleness is designed by God to be a blessing to others.

And when it comes to loving women, we as singles are uniquely positioned to love the women whom God has entrusted into our care. This should cause us to challenge ourselves to ask how can we use our singleness to serve the women in our lives.

CARE FOR GRANDMOTHERS, MOTHERS, SISTERS, AND NIECES As singles, we have the opportunity to love our female relatives. We can carry out our God-given design to be leaders, protectors, and encouragers to our female family members.

Perhaps you have a niece you can take out on date to help reinforce the image of a godly man.

Perhaps you have an aging grandmother who needs someone to pray with and be together with. Or perhaps you can invite your mother out for a fun evening.

While it is not always the case, as singles we might have more time available to us than our married counterparts. How can this time be used best? Who has God placed within arm’s reach of you? How can we love the women God has entrusted into our care? Is God encouraging you to play a part in someone’s life?

Our cultural mindset makes the mistake of thinking that a gifting must be for our own benefit first.

32 SEVEN SEPTEMBER / OCTOBER 2016

TREAT CHRISTIAN WOMEN AS SISTERS The Church is a family. And singles are part of that family. So as single men, we are to treat fellow Christian women as our sisters in the Lord.

We extend our God-given role to them as well by leading, protecting, and loving them as Christ loved the Church. We live in an individualistic culture that is always in danger

of placing the importance of the individual ahead of society. As Christian men, we need to see our connectedness through the cross of Jesus with other believers. In this sense, we can see how we can care for the Christian women in our lives.

AVOID CLOSE FRIENDSHIPS WITH MARRIED WOMEN It’s fine and good to be friends of both the husband and wife in a married couple. But one of the increasingly difficult problems in our culture is the close proximity in work and other settings between single men and married women. This can be a recipe for disaster, even between well-meaning people, if not handled carefully.

Friendships are cool.

Friendships with a married women without the involvement of their husbands are not cool. It spells deception and invites temptation. And the wise single man will steer clear.

If we have faith that God is the Master Designer, we can believe that He has placed us in every circumstance for a particular reason.

And as singles, that means keeping a special eye out for how we love the women in our lives.

/ PAUL BOGE is the author of Father to the Fatherless: The Charles Mulli Story and five other books. He is single and works as an engineer in Winnipeg.

OUT OF MY DEPTH

4 THINGS WE DO NOW THAT WE WON’T DO IN HEAVEN

T

he more I learn about life here on earth the more I long to know about heaven. I suppose it is possible to think too much about the world to come, but I suspect that the greater danger is thinking too little. In the Bible it appears that right thinking about the future is connected to right living in the present. With that in mind, I offer these four thoughts about things we do now that we will not do in heaven.

1. SIN One of my favourite passages in the Bible is 1 John 3:1: Beloved, we are God’s children now, and what we will be has not yet appeared; but we know that when he appears we shall be like him, because we shall see him as he is. (1 John 3:2 ESV) We shall be like Him. For we shall see Him as He is.

Our grandparents used to refer to this as “the beatific vision”. It is the great and climactic hope of the Christian. One day we will see Jesus and our process of redemption shall be finally, fully and gloriously completed.

In heaven we will only be able not to sin—if that doesn’t light your fire, your wood is wet.

2. MARRY A group of Sadducees, who believed neither in angels nor in resurrection, came to Jesus and attempted to embarrass and discredit Him with an invented story about a woman who was married to seven different men over the course of her natural life.

NOT OF THIS WORLD

BY PAUL CARTER

(Whose wife would she be?) Jesus answered them sharply and said: “You are wrong, because you know neither the Scriptures nor the power of God. For in the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels in heaven.” (Matthew 22:29–30 ESV) The basic point being made here is fairly straightforward. In our resurrection bodies there will be a change in how we relate to other people. In the future, relationally speaking, we will be more like the angels in heaven and less like the way people are now.

There will be family and community and recognition in heaven, but those relationships will reflect our new identity as glorified and sinless people.

3. SUFFER AND DIE Death, mourning, crying and pain shall be no more. We were never made for suffering. Sickness, disease, calamity and disaster are all foreign invaders in God’s creation that will one day be finally and forever expelled. Things will be again as they were at the first, only better and this time, forever.

According to the Apostle Paul: “The last enemy to be destroyed is death.”

(1 Corinthians 15:26 ESV) The Christian death rate, at present, is 100 per cent. But one day that will change.

4. EVANGELIZE Before he ascended into heaven Jesus gave the Church its Great Commission.

It’s been spliced, parsed and preached upon countless times in most of our churches but we don’t tend to hear too many sermons on those last words, “to the end of the age.”

The Great Commission has an expiration date.

We won’t be sharing the Gospel in heaven because there won’t be any unsaved people in it. Heaven will be full of former sinners—saved, sanctified, changed and glorified by the Gospel of Jesus Christ and the power of the Holy Spirit—but it will not have anyone who has persisted in their sin unto death.

Hell is eternal exclusion. It is being outside and away from God forever. That is why the Church of Jesus Christ must prioritize Gospel preaching today—because today is the only opportunity people have to hear, repent and believe.

Therefore, as the Holy Spirit says, “Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts as in the rebellion.”

(Hebrews 3:7–8 ESV) Preach the Gospel in season and out of season. Preach it to yourself and preach it your friends. Preach it in your church and preach it to your neighbours. There will be no evangelism in heaven so make sure you are doing it today.

/ PAUL CARTER is a husband, father, and the lead pastor at First Baptist Church in Orillia, Ontario. For more from Paul Carter, visit www.adfontes.ca/ blogs/rmm or check out www.blueletterbible.org.

SEPTEMBER / OCTOBER 2016 SEVEN 33

POWER PLAY

TOYS / TOOLS / TECHNOLOGY NOSE-PICKING AND NEW NINTENDO

BY SANDY MCMURRAY

NOSE CUPS

// fredandfriends.com

These fun cups with pictures of animal noses are perfect for kids’ parties. They’re great for photos and, let’s face it, they’re also great for Dads who like bad jokes.

In fact, immature boys of all ages will want to stand by the punch bowl and tell each guest to pick a nose, any nose.

Pick Your Nose Cups are available in animal and human versions. One set costs about $10.

In fact, immature boys of all ages will want to stand by the punch bowl and tell each guest to pick a nose, any nose.

34 SEVEN SEPTEMBER / OCTOBER 2016

SIMPLE SHOWER

// simple-shower.com

The Simple Shower is a gadget that turns almost any plastic bottle into a portable handheld shower. If you have a container and a source of water, you can use the Simple Shower in places where there’s no shower available.

No batteries or pumps required. You just put the tube into your bottle and screw the nozzle on tight, then turn the bottle over to release a gentle, gravity fed shower. It’s great for hiking, on the beach, or anywhere else you need a quick rinse.

The Simple Shower sells for about $10.

GRUMP NOTEBOOKS

// amazon.ca

Optimists might say the glass is half full. Grumps will tell you that glass is half empty, and cracked, and dirty, and too small and the wrong shape besides. And the water tastes funny.

Grump Notebooks are perfect for the complainer in your life who needs a place to jot down all their negative observations. If life gives you lemons, please don’t get a blog. Keep those thoughts to yourself, in a little brown notebook.

You can get a set of Grump Notebooks from Amazon.ca for about $20.

Grump Notebooks are perfect for the complainer in your life.

NES CLASSIC

// nintendo.ca

The NES Classic Edition is a mini version of the legendary Nintendo Entertainment System, updated for modern screens. Plug in with an HDMI cable (included), pick up the classic controller, and you’re ready to discover (or rediscover) some of the best 8-bit games the 80’s had to offer.

NES Classic Edition comes with one classic controller and 30 pre-installed games including Donkey Kong, all three Super Mario Bros, The Legend of Zelda, Metroid, Pac-Man, Punch-Out!!, and many more.

The NES Classic Edition will be available everywhere on November 11 for $80. Extra controllers cost $12 each.

UNTESTED GAME

// boardgames.ca // asmadigames.com This is the least organized card game ever.

It’s also a lot of fun.

We Didn’t Playtest This At All is a very silly game. The object is for you to win and your opponents to lose. You take turns playing cards from your hand. Each card will change the rules or suddenly end the game. You might find yourself playing Rock Paper Scissors, or eaten by a dragon or saved by a kitten ambush.

Each games lasts somewhere between 30 seconds and 5 minutes. Any number of people can play, but the game makers recommend between 2 and 15.

We Didn’t Playtest This At All sells for about $20.

MARSHMALLOW CROSSBOW

// litchfieldtheshop.com

What else do you need to know? The title says it all. Either you saw the picture and immediately wanted a marshmallow crossbow or you’re moving on to read the next item.

Handmade in Vancouver, the Marshmallow Crossbow is yours for $90.

What else do you need to know? The title says it all.

36 SEVEN SEPTEMBER / OCTOBER 2016

SURVIVAL BELT

// slidebelts.com

Classic style and simplicity meets rugged, reliable versatility to produce a one-ofa-kind belt made for adventure enthusiasts. The Survival Belt is a like a Swiss Army Knife that holds up your pants.

The buckle opens to reveal a removable flashlight, a multi-tool, and a ferrocerium fire starter rod. The multi-tool is made of heat-treated stainless steel. The LED flashlight is made of aluminum and uses four LR621 batteries.

The Survival Strap has a PVC/polymer protective shield and strong internal webbing. Notches run the entire length of the belt, ensuring the perfect fit for your pants, a bundle of firewood or anything else you may need to wrap up. The strap has a high tensile strength, and is designed to remain rigid without twisting.

The Survival Belt sells for about $200.

The Survival Belt is a like a Swiss Army Knife that holds up your pants.

LEAF EATER

// homedepot.ca

Every year, after I enjoy the glorious colours of autumn, I notice a bunch of leaves on my lawn. “How did those get there?” I wonder. But, of course, they fell out of the trees.

And now I have to do something about them.

Raking is fine, but it’s not enough. I don’t want to just collect those pesky leaves.

I want to destroy them.

The Flowtron LE-900 Leaf Eater is the perfect tool for the job. Fire it up and shovel those leaves into the top to hear a very satisfying, very loud mulching sound.

The Leaf Eater has different settings to shred leaves, pine needles, grass clippings, even paper, wet or dry. You can reduce eleven bags of leaves and garden waste down to only one bag of nutrient rich mulch. No more bagging and lugging to the curb. Just sprinkle over your garden and wait for spring.

The LE-900 can be mounted directly on a trash can or can be used upright. It sells for about $250 at Home Depot.

/ SANDY MCMURRAY writes about games, toys, and gadgets at funspot.ca.

NEXT ISSUE

Change of Season Like it or not, times have changed. With greater cultural diversity than ever before, the idea of a “Christian nation” in Canada— whether that was ever truly the reality—is rapidly disappearing. But perhaps we ought not fret about the status of faith in Canada, and rather embrace the opportunity to share Jesus with new neighbours. Whether it’s coming to grips with changing demographics or finding a place for Christ in culture, we examine what faith in Canada looks like today.

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