eg h t h it w io y b e s k b c fe i e Jo ✔ Ho w v e r t fo S e d i r a e e R ng i l p nt u a k w c en ✔ Pi ces m n o a in tw f a x h i w F t u s o y e o r t u w e Fig n t u ko c th e a h e C D th i w l Dea
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n o s e o g uys Life
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Coming to terms with life
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on the cover
What matters most in life? Steve Jobs is a creative genius and a cautionary tale. Other articles discuss both the pleasures (like hockey and lingerie) as well as the more painful aspects of ordinary living, like managing finances and confronting the inevitability of death.
SEVEN is a Christian magazine for Canadian men that exists to help men lead more fulfilling lives and leave enduring legacies. The name reflects the seven promises that form the basis of the Promise Keepers organization, which works with churches to minister to men across Canada.
features e
P HRead StevenJogerie for wif t P Pick up li ces wan P Fix finan t what women u s P Figure o new toy P Check out Death P Deal with P
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Holy hockey
| phil wagler James Reimer is one of many hockey players who are happy that Christians choose to spend their time at the rink.
The courage of his contradictions | michael krahn Steve Jobs made a big impact during his lifetime. Did he lose his soul in the process?
21 Secrets from the lingerie store | jeff stearns A husband discloses a revealing way to affirm his wife’s beauty and his love for her.
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5 PK Podium Call to action 6 Man to Man Plunge beneath the surface
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departments 8-12 Pulse Curious events. Interesting people. Good ideas.
25 Sports Scene The meaning of “Tebowing”
13 Reviews Believe. Draw near. Belong. Persist.
26 Money Matters Don’t run on empty
28 Power Play Tools. Toys. Technology.
four – A promise keeper is committed to strengthening families and marriages through love, honour, protection, and biblical values. five – A promise keeper is committed to supporting the mission of his church by honouring and praying for his pastor, and by actively giving his time and resources. six – A promise keeper is committed to reaching beyond racial, social, economic, generational, and denominational barriers to demonstrate that power of biblical unity. seven – A promise keeper is committed to influencing the world by his fervent love for God while loving his neighbour, seeking justice for the poor and oppressed, and making disciples of Jesus Christ.
27 Out of My Depth Men need mentors 30 What Women Want Living through a sexual drought
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The new PK Canada logo features a maple leaf, indicating our dedication to serve the men of Canada. An arrow breaks into the maple leaf symbolizing the impact we believe God wants to see Promise Keepers and men making in our nation.
28 Publisher: Brian Koldyk Managing Editor: Doug Koop Pulse Editor: Robert White
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two – A promise keeper is committed to pursuing Christ-centred friendships with a few other men, connecting regularly, understanding that he needs brothers to help him keep his promises. three – A promise keeper is committed to practicing biblical integrity: spiritually, morally, ethically and sexually.
24 The day I labeled myself pro-death | korey douglas Denying death is not the same as affirming life.
columns
one – A promise keeper is committed to honouring Jesus Christ through worship, prayer, and obedience to God’s Word in the power of the Spirit.
advertising John Steadman jsteadman@promisekeepers.ca 1-888-901-9700
editorial advisory board KIRK GILES: Promise Keepers Canada JEFF STEARNS: Promise Keepers Canada PHIL WAGLER: Gracepoint Community Church SANDRA REIMER: Reimer Reason Communications ADAM KROEKER: ChristianWeek DOUG KOOP: Soulcraft Communication
Promise Keepers Canada Box 20099 RPO Brant Hills Burlington, ON L7P 0A4 (905) 331-1830 subscriptions@promisekeepers.ca Postmaster: Please send address changes to Box 20099 RPO Brant Hills, Burlington, ON L7P 0A4
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ISSN 1916-8403 Cover: iStockphoto seven – issue twenty-two | march – april, 2012 page 3
PK@HOME RESOURCES
Visit our new website for the latest info, videos, audio messages, men’s articles, books and other resources.
Men of Integrity Devotional Especially written for men, personally challenging, eternally rewarding. Available in a 60 page booklet or as an email devotional.
SEVEN Magazine Men. God. Life. A Christian magazine for Canadian men. Relevant, exciting and biblical.
Visit us online at www.PromiseKeepers.ca and
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PK Podium
Continuing the call to action Promises set high standards for godly men by Kirk Giles
When Promise Keepers first began in the 1990s, it introduced a revolutionary idea by asking men to make seven promises and fulfill them. Hundreds of thousands of men in North America took up the challenge and committed their lives to these promises. What often happens with lists like these is that some who consider them feel they can never measure up (and so they don’t even try), while men on the other extreme become obsessed and turn them into a personal checklist. Other men twisted these promises into some type of unofficial membership to an exclusive club called Promise Keepers. The original intention of the Seven Promises of a Promise Keeper was to help men understand, in summary form, what a godly man looks like. Promise Keepers is not a membership driven organization; we seek to point men to Jesus as the ultimate promise keeper. The Seven Promises are simply a call to action and summary of what a man of God is like. With this in mind, the board of directors for Promise Keepers Canada recently decided it was time to update the Seven Promises (see box), to reflect some of the realities for men in 2012 compared to the mid 1990s. There are a lot of people who are trying to communicate what makes a man. Hollywood, sports, education and workplaces each have a direct or indirect way of communicating what they believe a man looks like. At Promise Keepers Canada, we believe it is important to have an understanding of
here are the new seven promises: 1 A promise keeper is committed to honouring Jesus Christ through worship, prayer, and obedience to God’s Word in the power of the Spirit. 2 A promise keeper is committed to pursuing Christ-centred friendships with a few other men, connecting regularly, understanding that he needs brothers to help him keep his promises. 3 A promise keeper is committed to practicing biblical integrity: spiritually, morally, ethically and sexually. 4 A promise keeper is committed to strengthening families and marriages through love, honour, protection and biblical values. 5 A promise keeper is committed to supporting the mission of his church by honouring and praying for his pastor and by actively giving his time and resources. 6 A promise keeper is committed to reaching beyond racial, social, economic, generational and denominational barriers to demonstrate the power of biblical unity. 7 A promise keeper is committed to influencing the world by his fervent love for God while loving his neighbour, seeking justice for the poor and oppressed, and making disciples of Jesus Christ.
how God defines a man, and it is our hope that the Seven Promises will go a long way to cut through the noise of what the world defines a man to be and help us to examine our lives in light of what God says. No man is perfect. No man can measure up to these standards completely. Yet we still need to know what the standard and target is that God has set for us, and we need to surrender our lives to the control of the Holy Spirit so that He can move us more and more to being the man He has designed us to be. Kirk Giles is the president of Promise Keepers Canada. However, his most important roles as a man are husband to Shannon and father to Carter, Joshua, Sydney and Samuel. seven – issue twenty-two | march – april, 2012 page 5
man to man
Real men don’t eat quiche! Too often men’s conversation stays on the surface by Greg Elliott
Give me a break! It’s scrambled eggs, bacon, mushrooms, onions peppers and a piecrust. What man doesn’t like those? “You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him drink.” My early years life on a large horse farm indicated that leading was the problem, not drinking. “Men don’t want to talk about what’s on their heart.” I can’t count the number of times I have heard that excuse used as a reason for not creating a ministry program for men. “I led him to the Lord.” Sounds like adding a notch on a gunstock. The Holy Spirit does the convicting, not me. Our penchant for accepting these and other urban myths and our natural reluctance to stick our neck out a bit inhibit our ability to effectively talk to each other and witness Jesus when faced with the opportunity. Who are we listening to anyway? When it comes to ministry for and with men, it seems we accept these ear-tickling statements as “urban wisdom” and act accordingly—then wonder why our programs or witness to men so often fail. My point is that we will do a more effective job of being brothers-in-Christ to each other by using a little more common sense, following God’s Word and remembering who or what helped us open up. Read the book of Job again to see a model of how well-intentioned friends can do it wrong. It too often reflects our current approach. Check out Matthew 10:9-10 as well. I understand Jesus’ instructions to infer
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that all they need is to simply be caring, open and honest as they talk and work. They will be successful if their faith is in him and they follow his teaching and example. There is no difference for us today. Most of us are easily embarrassed by the thought of someone knowing about our inner fears and difficulties in personal matters. We don’t want to be thought of as failures or taken advantage of in this achievement-focused society we live in. It’s one thing to be ragged about always failing to get the puck in the net at the after-hours league game and something totally different to talk about your inability to understand your wife’s attitude about your bedroom relationship. Trust The only thing that will open the door to genuine man-to-man dialogue is trust. Trust that the guy you’re talking to understands, cares, wants to help you and will give you good advice. Trust that the details of your conversation won’t be the buzz at the next man-cave session. Any man who wants to have a meaningful positive effect on another man’s life must first demonstrate integrity and trustworthiness. Be clear why you are doing this. As a Christian man, your motivation and example has to be Jesus. The New Testament, regardless of whether you read it by turning paper pages, scrolling an iPhone or listening to it on a disk, is your training manual regarding what those first disciples, and we, are to do.
Model your faith in your daily routine and be willing to expose some of your own vulnerability. Identify where/how/why you have the hope that lifts you above life’s challenges. You will find that listening is also a valuable tool. Give the Holy Spirit room to work. Doing these will help build relationship and establish credibility in the sincerity of your offer to help and your ability to understand. The beginning of my personal rebirth was because of such a man. I observed and then experienced his genuine interest and care for the people in the organization I had joined. His honesty and integrity were evident as he “did business.” He took the time to talk to me about more than the weather and last night’s game. He helped me see there was a better way. After a while, I decided that I wanted to be like him, not knowing then that his example was Jesus. Man-to-man is about being a “brother” or “neighbour” like the Samaritan in Luke 10: 25-37. Ignore the urban myths and remember it’s not about the “quiche”—religion—it’s about the ingredients—the eggs, bacon, mushrooms, onions, peppers and piecrust!
Gregg Elliott is an illustrator and retired director of communications and media services for a national Christian association. He had his first contact with Promise Keepers in 1994.
Visit www.PromiseKeepers.ca or call 1-888-901-9700 to receive the next issue.
pulse
Curiousities. Personalities. Ideas. Information. by Robert White PULSE Editor
CANADIAN MUSEUM EXPLORES RELIGION The Canadian Museum of Civilization (CMC) has gone to the gods. The Gatineau, Quebec museum’s new exhibit, God(s): A User’s Guide, looks at how important religion is in the lives of every day Canadians. “Religion is a topic people hear a lot about in media, from fellow workers and students and neighbours,” says exhibit curator Stephen Inglis. “But we don’t know much about (their religions). This is a chance to present information in interesting and comparative mode.” The exhibit focuses the big questions of “what’s the meaning of life?,” “how should we live?” and “how can we make contact with the sacred?” It then shows how 17 different religious traditions (including subsets within those groupings) answer those questions. Taking up 650 square metres (7,000 square feet) of space—one of the museum’s larger temporary exhibits— God(s): A User’s Guide uses 225 sacred objects or artifacts to explore 11 themes: points of reference, divinities, passages,
worship, places, body, cycles, voices, beyond, intercessors, conflict and coexistence. Artifacts and objects include a print depicting Jesus Christ in the distinctive graphic style of the Tsimshian, a west coast First Nation; an Indonesian wooden sculpture of the eagle god Garuda; and an elaborately decorated Torah ark carved in 1923 by a Montreal artisan for the Jewish community in Glace Bay, Cape Breton Island. “We replaced all the artifacts from the European version with things from our collection and the Quebec City collection,” says Inglis. God(s): A User’s Guide began as a similar exhibit developed by the Museum of Europe and Tempora SA in Brussels. Inglis felt the topic might be something North Americans would be interested in and CMC partnered with the Musée de la Civilisation de Québec to adapt it to a Canadian context. That exhibit debuted in Quebec City and ran from November 2010 to September 2011. The new CMC exhibit runs until September 3, 2012.
APPS HELP WITH SPIRITUAL GROWTH BUT NOT SPIRITUAL FELLOWSHIP There are smartphone apps for sacred music, reminders to go to church and Scriptures for meditation—which can be powerful tools for spiritual growth. But these apps may have a negative impact on worship and fellowship. Douglas Henry, a Baylor University associate professor of philosophy, looked at this in “Curiosity and Smartphones,” an article printed in Christian Reflection, a quarterly publication of The Center for Christian Ethics. Henry has the BibleReader app on his phone and uses it to read the King James, the English Standard and the Latin Vulgate versions of the Bible. He also has an app with prayers and meditations. “Especially when traveling, I use my iPad to search, read and study Scripture…It gives me pictures of nature and works of art that…inspire my contemplative gratitude to God.”
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But “living in a world of perpetual mobile connectivity can be spiritually distracting, and even deforming, for those who succumb to its inducements...Whatever technology’s wizardry does for us, it cannot fundamentally alter our heart’s desire to love God and to love others in God.” The temptation is to love technology too much, says Henry. “We can be the quickest on the draw to find the latest bit of gossip or news, but we’re also cultivating an impatience—a desire to get instant answers and solutions. Christians are called to be pilgrims, a people who walk patiently in faith toward an end God prepares for us.” From a Christian standpoint, too, “the Bible is a gift from God to be shared,” Henry says. “But what if it’s a Bible app on your phone? What if someone sitting next to you says, ‘I forgot my Bible. Can I borrow yours?’ We think of a cell phone as something we keep away from others. There’s too much information there—
SURFING WE WILL GO Want more information on the topics in Pulse? Check out these web site links.
Canadian Museum of Civilization explores religion: http://www.civilization.ca/gods Apps help with spiritual growth but not spiritual fellowship http://www.baylor.edu/content/ services/document.php/130952.pdf Making babies in modern times: http://www.familyscholars.org/ assets/One-Parent-or-Five.pdf Work the plan, get the facts right http://www.stevefarrar.com Five Social Media Trends that are Reshaping Religion http://tinyurl.com/7zuudgm How porn warps minds http://www.covenanteyes.com/ brain-ebook/ Tim Tebow Embraces Being a Role Model http://tinyurl.com/7axa6pa
TIM TEBOW EMBRACES BEING A ROLE MODEL Now that Denver Bronco quarterback Tim Tebow’s run at the Superbowl is finished, his young fans can relax and read his biography: Through My Eyes: A Quarterback’s Journey. The book is adapted for young readers, aged seven and up, from Tebow’s bestselling adult memoir, Through My Eyes, which spent 13 consecutive weeks on The New York Times bestseller list when it was first released. Throughout the pages readers will get a beyond-theheadlines look at the 2007 Heisman Trophy winner and 24year-old quarterback: what makes him tick, what motivates him and why he makes the choices he does. Football fans will also enjoy reading about some of Tebow’s most exciting football games—told play-by-play from his own perspective. His goal is to inspire young kids with the philosophy that they can be winners in life, on and off the field. “Kids are always watching us,” says Tebow. “It’s important for us to be aware of that and to live our lives in such a way that we can be good role models for them.” Nathan Whitaker, co-author of Through My Eyes: A Quarterback’s Journey had this to say about Tim: “After writing this book with Tim and reliving his life with him through the process, I feel I’m able to see things through Tim’s eyes. He’s always had a heart for God and for youth. Our kids are lucky to have such a role model.”
bank accounts, purchasing accounts, email accounts. We easily become possessive about something intended for sharing.” A smartphone or other technological device used during worship also can distract oneself—or others. “If you turn on your smartphone, your neighbour may wonder whether you’re using it to read Scripture or whether you’re playing solitaire,” he says. When Henry goes to church, he takes his printed Bible, leaving the cell behind. “It’s not because I’m old-fashioned and want to turn the pages,” he says. “But smartphones can be a communication device for trading in frivolous gossip or delivering the most tragic news of destitution and desolation. Something doesn’t seem quite right about bringing it in the space of Christian worship.”
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pulse
HOW PORN WARPS MINDS Luke Gilkerson of the Internet safety company Covenant Eyes is convinced that porn is harmful, and he’s been collecting evidence to make the case. Now he’s compiled the results of his research into a short, free, ebook titled Your Brain on Porn. He’s targeted the book at the church—especially men. The 17-page booklet outlines five ways pornography warps minds, and three biblical ways to renew it. “My goal was to set scientific findings in a biblical context,” he explains. “Even in churches where porn and lust are discouraged, it’s still helpful to understand that there’s a wise Designer behind our sexual drive. He created us for intimacy, and these scientific findings only further illustrate what the Bible has said all along—that lust hijacks something beautiful and makes it something ugly.” What are the five main findings?
MAKING BABIES IN MODERN TIMES The idea of a five-parent family is less fiction than science, thanks to the progress in the treatment of fertility. Derek Miedema, a researcher with the Institute of Marriage and Family Canada took a look at this in his review of One Parent or Five: A Global Look at Today’s New Intentional Families. The report, released in October 2011 by the Institute for American Values, looks at “intentional parenthood” and the reality of one-, two-, three-, four- and even five-parent families. Principal investigator Elizabeth Marquardt traces the importance of “intentional parenthood” from its beginnings with Margaret Sanger and planned parenthood (the concept, not
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According to Gilkerson: 1 Watching porn decreases our sexual satisfaction. It trains us to desire the variety and “designer sex” of porn more than the familiar sexuality of marriage. 2 Watching porn disconnects us from real relationships. It trains us to detach emotional involvement from sexual experience. 3 Watching porn lowers our view of women. It trains us to see women as sexual commodities, not people created in God’s image. 4 Watching porn desensitizes us to cruelty. It numbs us to the seriousness of verbal and physical aggression. 5 Watching porn makes us want to watch more porn. It taps into the neuro-circuitry of our brains, making us desire the rush of sexual energy from porn again and again. 6“For the follower of Christ, the ultimate goal isn’t merely ‘quitting pornography,’” continues Gilkerson, “but is something far richer and more comprehensive. If merely modifying behaviour was the most important thing, there are any number of psychological tips and tricks one can use. “But for the Christian, as it should be for all people, the goal is not merely recovering from pornography, but being remade by God Himself into the image of the perfect Man, Jesus Christ. This is the work of the Holy Spirit. “Just as sure as pornography stirs up lustful cravings in us, the Holy Spirit is a source of new, holy cravings.”
the organization). “Intentional parenthood” says a wanted child, whose birth is planned, will be better off than one whose birth is unplanned. “Marquardt argues this concept is central to the push to create new family types through various forms of fertility engineering,” writes Miedema. Instead of “accidental” children to two biological parents, Marquardt says intentional children are conceived and born via a variety of combinations: 1 Egg and sperm donors to gay men, lesbian women and single mothers or fathers. 2 Surrogate mothers who carry children for parents who can’t conceive because of infertility or sexual orientation.
3 Single parents, men or women, who buy sperm or eggs, then hire a surrogate to carry the child. 4 Single mothers who become pregnant with their husband’s sperm, even after his death. “Getting into a realm once firmly consigned to science fiction, in the future, cloning may become a reproductive option. This would allow a parent to have a child who is completely and only their own. “These children, by intent and design, can’t know one of their biological parents even before they’re conceived. And while not needing to share your child with any partner may be a boon for some, is it really a gift to the child?” asks Miedema.
FIVE SOCIAL MEDIA TRENDS RESHAPING RELIGION Social media is reshaping religion suggests Elizabeth Drescher, a religion writer and scholar of Christian spiritualities who teaches at Santa Clara University. She’s also the author of Tweet If You ♥ Jesus: Practicing Church in the Digital Reformation. “Over the past couple years, religionistas of all sorts have attempted to navigate a new media landscape in which old constructions of religious authority, identity and practice are changing almost by the minute,” Drescher writs in a blog. “It seems worthwhile to take a look at some trends in social media that are reshaping religion and spirituality:” 1. Social Prayer—Facebook pages like “Jesus Daily” consistently outrank even celebrities like Lady Gaga or Justin Bieber as the most engaging places on the social networking site. Over on Twitter, hashtags like #prayer, #spirituality, #bible, #Jesus, #Buddha, #Allah, etc. are constantly used. What this shows is: social networks are becoming key places for religious formation, spiritual care, witness and advocacy. 2. Ministers-On-The-Go—Location-based services, like Foursquare, are being used by lay and ordained ministers to keep their congregation in the know about the range of their ministry practice and when and where they’re available for a chat at a nearby coffee shop. 3. Holy App—With more than half a million apps now available it’s clear the numbers of religiously-themed apps is growing. Apps are available for just about any religious group and have been created for a large number of congregations, dioceses, and other religious organizations. 4. Curate as Curator—As social networking sites continue to be the main target for day-to-day distraction, engaging content becomes more important. Religionistas need to create content that makes it easier for online and offline connections instead of broadcasting their latest deep thought or sermon. 5. A Few New Commandments—A Google search for “social media guidelines for churches” yields more than 27 million results. Drescher says she’s regularly contacted by congregations, denominations and religious school administrators for advice on such policies.
SECULAR ENVIRONMENT APPEALS TO CHRISTIAN SINGER Marc Martel, the higher-pitched vocalist from downhere, is looking forward to spending time not being surrounded by Christians after winning the Queen Extravaganza contest. Martel’s initial audition video for the contest had more than 5.5 million hits on YouTube and a guest shot on the Ellen DeGeneres Show. His second audition video garnered enough votes to get him to the live Los Angeles audition. And his live audition, judged in part by Queen drummer Roger Taylor, won him a coveted spot in the band. Martel found out he was one of three Canadians to make the six-member Queen tribute band while sitting in the Minneapolis airport on a layover from L.A. to Montreal. “It wasn’t a big celebration for me, just relief knowing that (this) year is taken care of schedule-wise (and) financially,” he says. “I’ve got a mortgage, putting a wife through school— this is provision for me in a really exciting way. “If you look at the timing of this, it couldn’t come at a more perfect time. Looking back at the last 11 years, the struggles (downhere has) gone through as a band, the highs and lows, there’s been so many spiritual learning experiences, spiritual strengthening experiences,” says Martel. “I really believe God has been preparing me for this sort of thing.” The Montreal-born singer/songwriter also feels growing up in an area of Canada that is “very unchurched” will help him on the tour. “I’m looking forward to being in an environment where I’m not surrounded by Christians,” he says. “I feel at home in an environment where I stick out as a believer. Where I’m from, all you have to do is not swear and people start asking questions.” While Martel is still waiting for details the Queen Extravaganza rehearsals will begin this spring. Tour dates are still being booked but with three Canadians and Queen’s own history in Canada— including its iconic 1977 concert at the Montreal Forum—Martel “wouldn’t be surprised if we started in Canada.” www.queenextravaganza.com or www.downhere.com
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WORK THE PLAN, GET THE FACTS RIGHT With 22 years of experience in leading men’s ministries, Steve Farrar has two priorities for men: staying biblically grounded and working the plan Jesus gave. “I’ve always had a heart for men,” says the founder of Men’s Leadership Ministries and author of books such as Point Man, Finishing Strong and, his latest, True Courage: Emboldened by God in a Disheartening World. As a young pastor he discovered most of his counselling cases boiled down to one issue: “The man wasn’t being the man.” Focusing his ministry on men, writing a doctoral dissertation that eventually became his first book, We Men, Farrar found “the Lord kind of kicked me out of the pastorate and plopped me into men’s ministry. When Point Man came out, I was suddenly getting calls from churches.” During a break at the 2011 Promise Keepers’ Built for Battle conference in Mississauga, Farrar talked of the two key priorities he sees for men. He mentioned one of those priorities when he told the men: “if you don’t have the facts right, you don’t have worship right.” “You need to have sound doctrine,” Farrar says in the interview. “A. W. Tozer said ‘the most important thing about a man is what he believes about God’ “I need to get solid on good biblical doctrine: my Father loves me; He’s forgiven me in Christ; He’s not mad at me. When I (fully accept) that He has all power, all wisdom, He’s in absolute control of my life, that trials are sent for a reason, not to ruin me but to rebuild me, then I can start applying it to my life, my work, my family, my kids.”
DIE-HARD DRIVER TAKES NEW JOURNEY When long-distance trucker Dan Harms bought a new Peterbilt truck, he enjoyed driving more than ever. Yet less than four years later, he parked his rig to begin a new journey. There were painful detours. When his daughter Kristal, a student at Nipawin Bible Institute, was killed while touring with a musical team, Dan and his son Karsten were on the road in B.C. Reality did not begin to sink in until they talked with the RCMP at a Chilliwack truck stop. A chaplain from Transport for Christ (TFC) prayed with them, offering comfort. Only later did the Harms learn TFC had organized a nightlong prayer vigil. He took some time off from work to help in the grieving process. But he kept in touch with his TFC encouragers and told his story to hundreds at a fund-raising banquet, giving supporters a trucker’s view of the ministry. Then tragedy struck again. About six years after Kristal’s death, Dan and Helen’s son Dwain, a young pastor, was diagnosed with cancer and died just a few weeks later. Dan bottled up his grief and went out on the road. “Trucking promotes running away,” Dan says. “If you have problems you can get in your truck and leave.” Things fell apart. Dan was unable to focus and he lost his trucking business. Eventually he worked as a company driver again, waiting until he could buy his own truck, and life
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When it comes to building men’s ministries, Farrar says the priority is to “keep working the plan Jesus gave. “Over the years a lot of things have been tried, including a lot of gimmicks. The gimmicks don’t work. When all else fails read the directions: it’s discipleship, it’s walking with men who want to walk with Christ. “Spend time with them, help them find their gifts, then give them a ministry. Do what Paul did with Timothy: take faithful men, mature them, teach them the word, send them out, and let them try stuff.”
slowly resumed. “God restored our marriage. Helen was doing well. I enjoyed my work. “Then TFC’s Canadian director called. Again.” He’d begun urging Dan to becoming a chaplain several years earlier. Dan wanted to argue, but “God was in my truck; His presence was so real. He told me, ‘This time, say yes.’” “I’ve always had a passion to share my faith. I feel every person is called to be a witness at work. That was good enough for me. God said, ‘No, I’ve got a different job for you.’” With Helen’s enthusiastic support, Dan now serves as a Transport for Christ chaplain.
reviews
Believe. Draw near. Belong. Persist. BELIEBER: FAME, FAITH AND THE HEART OF JUSTIN BIEBER
CLOSER: DEVOTIONS TO DRAW COUPLES CLOSER
By Cathleen Falsani
Why would SEVEN readers want to a book about “the most famous teenager on the planet?” Well, men with daughters might want to know more the character of the global heartthrob. And Justin Bieber does hail from smalltown Canada. And, if acclaimed religions journalist Cathleen Falsani is correct in her assessment, the young man is a Christian believer with a humble, questing faith. She’s done a lot of research, scouring the public record and finding many explicit mentions of his Christian commitment, and considerable evidence of faith-inspired themes and actions—gratitude, humility and generous charity. “I’m a Christian. I believe in God. I believe Jesus died on the cross for my sins,” he told the Associated Press. He says the biblical Job is his biggest role model. “Being known isn’t good enough,” he tweeted last June. “It’s what you’re known for that matters.” Belieber is more interesting than you probably thought.
By Jim and Cathy Burns This book has 52 chapters. Hmmm, I wonder what the authors were thinking. Actually, they tell us right up front. Rather than feel guilty about busyness and missed days of devotions, Jim and Cathy Burns decided to meet once a week and just talk. And now they’re sharing key ideas to help other couples develop their own spiritual and emotional intimacy. Each chapter is four pages long; each contains a devotional reflection, a few bullet-point faith conversation starters, and an exercise that leads to clearer thinking and concrete action steps. Specific topics include romance, prayer, forgiveness, busyness, values, anger and apologies (and many more). Closer can be a very helpful exercise for countless couples, helping them to engage in meaningful conversation together.
EARTHEN VESSELS: WHY OUR BODIES MATTER TO OUR FAITH By Matthew Lee Anderson Evangelical Christians tend to be more comfortable talking about the body of Christ than the bodies we walk around in. Why is that? After all, the central fact of our faith is
that “the Word became flesh and dwelt among us.” Matthew Anderson explores the question at some length, bringing biblical and historic perspective to bear as he posits a more robust understanding of a Christian view of the body. And then he gets into specifics. An entire chapter is devoted to tattoos; another to homosexuality; another to “the body and its pleasures” (aka sex). He also deals with spiritual disciplines involving the body, and the body and the church. One question he raises: What’s different about bodily presence in an era of online worship opportunities and easy availability of video sermons from brilliant preachers? Conclusion: The body of the Christian belongs in the body of Christ.
MAN ALIVE: TRANSFORMING YOUR 7 PRIMAL NEEDS INTO A POWERFUL SPIRITUAL LIFE By Patrick Morley Over the past 40 years, God has used Patrick Morley as a significant voice in ministry to men. The wisdom in his latest book was formed from his experiences meeting oneon-one with thousands of different men, heading up Man in the Mirror and teaching a weekly Bible study to 5,000 men. Pat recognizes that although most men long to have “a rich and satisfying life” (John 10:10), most of us lead lives of mediocrity. This leaves us frustrated and disappointed. God’s plan is to use our restless energy to drive us forward into the powerful life we were meant to live. With discussion questions included, Man Alive is a great resource for groups or individuals.
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Can hockey be holy? Go where the people will be. What one professional player and one passionate pastor teach us about living faith in the arena.
by Phil Wagler
I played in several church hockey leagues (also known as “hell hockey”) as well as on more “secular” expressions of the glorious winter sport. Sadly, the church moniker is often well deserved and my greatest opportunities to live my faith—to be stretched and enjoy “the good old hockey game”— came in beer leagues. There amidst the colourful language and pining for a cold one, the rubber met the ice of life. In those arenas I found myself on a mission, playing with purpose alongside others for a reason greater than wins and losses. Longing to inspire such purposeful play, Jamie Ramer of Zurich, Ontario serves Jesus in the arena. In November 2010 Jamie was ordained by Mennonite Church Eastern Canada at his hometown rink in affirmation of a unique call: he is a chaplain to junior hockey players across Ontario. By patiently growing chapel programs through a large network of volunteers, and building trusting relationships with hockey clubs such as last season’s Ontario Hockey League champion Owen Sound Attack, Jamie incarnates the love of Christ in the hockey world and reminds Canadian Christians that “if we want to engage Canadian culture with the Gospel of Jesus, we need to find ways to connect with and encourage those within the game.” Sunday sport Many Canadian churches wrestle with what to do with the sporting life many of
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their members and particularly their children engage in. An uneasy tension exists between parents who feel marginally guilty involving their kids in activities that create Sunday and church activity conflicts, while the non-sporting types frown upon the primacy sports receive. Priorities seem askew. Still, if you listen carefully to Sunday morning chatter, you’ll hear references to Saturday night’s Leafs’ loss or the exploits of the Oilers’ young stars. An unhealthy separation of the secular and sacred blinds us to the realities of our culture, how it shapes even those within our faith communities, and breeds the ridiculous creation of those church leagues that remove Christians from the very places they should be while they compete with one another for church bragging rights rather than unite together for the advance of the Kingdom. To live on mission with Jesus requires living all of life—including what happens in the local rink—as under the reign of God. We would be wise to listen to voices like Jamie’s, a man on the cultural frontlines who calls churches to be present in the arena rather than heaping guilt on those who seemingly live there. He aims to equip believers to enter with purpose. Jamie’s life as a junior hockey player was shaped by those who helped him work through the tension of his love for a game and devotion to Jesus. They helped him see that his athletic gifts were from God and sport could be an avenue for
Kingdom impact. Inspired, Jamie and his wife Lea-Anne served in Sweden and now Ontario with Hockey Ministries International (HMI)—an organization serving the hockey subculture at every level since 1977. Beneath the glamour The hockey player has become an iconic symbol of Canadiana and young boys and girls long to walk in the seemingly glamorous steps of Sidney Crosby and Hayley Wickenheiser. However, when a 16-year-old leaves home and moves hours away where he’ll be a hero and a target, the ice can get thin. Or, when events like Dan Snyder’s untimely death in 2003, last summer’s suicides of Rypien and Belak, or Lokomotiv Yaroslavl’s tragic plane crash interrupt the thrill-ride, life becomes more than a game. When the pipedream house of sticks comes tumbling down, the spiritual void that exists beneath the glitz and glamour is exposed. Who will be there then? That’s why HMI seeks to be a constant presence, and it’s what Jamie hopes local churches will do in the cities and small towns where the dreams are being launched. One emerging star who knows this tale is James Reimer of the Toronto Maple Leafs. James, or Optimus Reim as he’s been crowned, grew up in tiny Morweena, Manitoba fighting that dichotomous tension between sport and the spiritual. Raised in an evangelical Mennonite home, Reimer rose to prominence as the starting
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goalie of that team you either love or hate. With a new big-dollar contract in hand, James and his wife April, a pastor’s daughter, now live their vibrant faith in the place of dreams. Or is it? At the end of Hockey Night in Canada, James is still a 24-year-old young adult facing the challenges—along with some very different ones—of most men his age. It can be a perilous tight rope. With every move constantly scrutinized, James says his greatest spiritual need is a place of genuine Christian fellowship,
friendship and support. This is exactly what HMI provided at every level of his development and what he needs from his local church. Whether facing the temptations of selfishness and pride that being labeled “The Saviour” can arouse, or feeling the pull toward the destructive habits associated with the sport, James avows that “HMI was the greatest thing; there was a believer who looked out for you.” Fruit of his roots While this present support is very important, James is still the fruit of his roots. The people of his home community taught him to receive all he had been given as a gift from God; to realize God is the source of all things and is teaching you in success and failure. That communal modeling of a humble, hardworking, Christ-like life shaped him
profoundly and prepared him to be a witness even in the crease. His parents’ example and the sometimes-strict boundaries they set taught him that Christian community and corporate worship mattered and that hockey’s not the greatest thing. “If it jeopardizes who you are in Christ it’s not worth it.” And here, particularly, may be the lesson to be learned from someone who has reached the pinnacle of what many aspire to and parents push their kids toward. The divide between the secular and the sacred must be eliminated in our homes, arenas and churches. For the believer, these are all together under the Lordship of Christ! Our goal must be to make disciples who know their identity in Christ and live for him as Spirit-filled witnesses no matter where they work or play, while ready to lay down anything that may
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Can hockey be holy? jeopardize this primary call and relationship. And, we must walk with those like James so that they can stand strong. Reimer reflects poignantly on the opportunity Christians have in a culture where the word of a masked Maple Leaf may carry more weight than a homiletically profound preacher: “We are called to be missionaries and, no matter how secular the position may seem, God wants people in those places to spread
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the word. So, broaden your horizon and go where the people will be.” That vision, embraced with the passion of an elite athlete or die-hard fan, might just make hockey holy and our arenas the locale of Kingdom victories. Phil Wagler is the author of Kingdom Culture: Growing the Missional Church and, yes, a long-suffering Leafs fan. A version of this article appeared previously in The Canadian Mennonite.
MISSIONS Join us on a mission trip to help give children an education and hope for the future. Travel with Ian Nairn, PK Canada’s Missions Manager, and a band of brothers to help build a Christian school for underprivileged children, and provide them with resources for an education and faith for tomorrow.
You can create your legacy now.
TEAM DOMINICAN REPUBLIC
February 1-8, 2013
Visit www.PromiseKeepers.ca or contact us at info@promisekeepers.ca to twenty-two learn more. seven – issue | march – april, 2012
Impact page 17
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Steve Jobs: The courage of his contradictions Triumph and tragedy in the life of the ultimate American dreamer by Michael Krahn
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Steve Jobs is the individual most responsible for making personal computing intuitive and introducing the iPod, iTunes, iPhone and iPad to the world. Heralded as “a visionary and creative genius,” the co-founder, chairman and CEO of Apple Inc., died last October at the age of 56. He was both loved and hated, loathed and admired. I was neither a fanboy nor a hater when I obtained my first MacBook almost three years ago. I was a Mac skeptic. It couldn’t possibly be as good as the hype, I thought. But it was. I am now no longer a skeptic; I’m a believer—with reservations. I know that the Mac is the ideal computer for me, but I’m not going to tell you that you have to have one. Because I am a believer, I recently read Steve Jobs, a biography by Walter Isaacson. I’ve never read a book this size (656 pages) in so short a time. It was fascinating, particularly in providing the back-story of the personal computer revolution.
@##%^&%, you never do anything right,’ It was like an hourly occurrence. Yet I consider myself the absolute luckiest person in the world to have worked with him.” He insisted on working only with “A players,” which meant people who were technically capable, intellectually superior, able to tolerate his abusive tirades and, even better, be motivated by them. He unabashedly labeled anyone who wasn’t an “A player” a “bozo,” and dispensed with them at the earliest opportunity.
Mixed messages In the final pages of the book, Jobs speaks about the driving force in his life. “I think most creative people want to express appreciation for being able to take advantage of the work that’s been done by others before us,” he said. “I didn’t invent the language or mathematics that I use. I make little of my own food, none of my own clothes. Everything I do depends on other members of our species and the shoulders that we stand on. Strange and wonderful “And a lot of us want to contribute Steve Jobs was a strange and something back to our species and add wonderful creature. As I read his story I something to the flow. It’s about trying to oscillated between being impressed and repulsed. One minute I wanted to be him; express something in the only way that most of us know how… We try to use the the next to make sure I would never be talents we do have to express our deep like him. He is admirable; he is feelings, to show our appreciation of all detestable. His creations are the contributions that came before us, indispensible works of genius; the world and to add something to that flow. could simply do without them. That’s what’s driven me.” He was decisive, no doubt. Jobs was I think you’ll agree that his ambitions unspeakably driven and accomplished sound both philosophical and noble. much. He drove his coworkers and Did he contribute something worthwhile employees hard and often got more out to humanity? I’m not so sure. of them than even they imagined they Steve Jobs’ chief strengths—the ones could deliver. that enabled him to achieve so much— People who worked for him almost were his ability to fine-tune his focus unanimously agree that while his style to a very narrow point, and to eliminate could be demoralizing, it was also oddly distractions. You would think that inspiring. Inspiring, you might say, in an almost cultish way. As one employee puts someone driven by such noble ambitions would seek to create something that it, “He would shout at a meeting, ‘You
would similarly enable others to experience those same benefits that he valued so highly. So the irony—and part of the tragedy— is that his chief accomplishments, his great creations, drive their users in the opposite direction on both accounts. They broaden our focus and introduce innumerable and persistent distractions. Jobs most successful creations betrayed his own stated values in that they helped to form a nation of consumers with an inability to attain his strengths: narrow focus and the elimination of distraction. Our iPads, iPods, iPhones (and the host of copycats they inspired) constantly distract us and prompt us to respond to every distraction. This strikes me as a manifestation of Steve Jobs’ ultimate self-centeredness. Triumph and tragedy Was Steve Jobs successful? Yes, by any worldly standard he succeeded wildly. He built a corporate empire. He joined the elite ranks of the uber-wealthy. In the eyes of the world, his life defines the American dream. But from what we know of the story, he fell short of one very important standard and it’s the one that ultimately matters most. By what standard are we to judge someone’s contributions to humanity? I’m looking to the life of Jesus for an answer to that. In his own words, Jobs believed that, “The juice goes out of Christianity when it becomes too based on faith rather than on living like Jesus or seeing the world as Jesus saw it.” Like many other people, he admired the life of Jesus as he understood it but was critical of the church. Sadly, there is precious little evidence that Jobs lived any more like Jesus than those he criticized. He rarely did anything for the benefit of others, and even when he did, there often appeared to be an ulterior motive.
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He didn’t treat people well and was rarely kind. His reactions to people and their ideas were always extremely positive or brutally negative, depending on what he was trying to extract from them. Love, servanthood, self-sacrifice, God-centeredness, otherscenteredness—these are all things that Jesus lived and invited others to live. But by all accounts, they were almost completely absent from the life of Steve Jobs. Jobs lived a life of self-centeredness, which is likely the main reason for his success. He managed to live a fantasy that most of us secretly (or openly) desire to live but never will. He spoke his mind—all the time, regardless of who was decimated by it. He always said exactly what he was thinking, and when it came to crucial decisions he was right most of the time. He made enormous sums of money. He had a clear vision and successfully executed it without compromise. He revolutionized or created several entire industries in his lifetime. He succeeded, wildly, and more than once. And yet, I can’t say that I would trade the life he lived for the one I’m living. He had very few healthy personal relationships. He treated most people around him like garbage. He didn’t spend much time with his kids. But I’m conflicted. I’m filled with admiration for the accomplishments of a man who (as far as we know) went to the grave believing only in himself and his own creations. This is a tragedy, as is every life that ends without an acknowledgment of Jesus Christ as the Son of God and humanity’s only hope for reconciliation with God. Steve Jobs, possibly more than any other human being before him, gained the whole world, but it’s quite possible that he lost his own soul in the process. Michael Krahn is a husband, father, pastor, writer, recording artist and blogger. Read more at www.michaelkrahn.com
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Secrets from the lingerie store A husband discloses a revealing way to affirm his love and her beauty. Jeff Stearns I love lingerie stores. Next to that little taste of heaven known as Best Buy, the lingerie store has to be one of the greatest marvels of our time. Fewer places have the potential to bring such great rewards or, tragically, such disappointment. Don’t get me wrong; I don’t like hanging out in these stores. That can only lead to unpleasant discussions with mall security. No, my love of the lingerie store lies in what it leads to. And obviously, the first thing is sex. Or so we hope. Or so every piece of advertising promises us. If only life was that simple. The greater thing it leads to is the affirmation of my wife. When I buy lingerie for my wife I am letting her know that I still think she is beautiful, sexy and the woman I desire. I have always made sure never to criticize how she looks; the world already places an unhealthy pressure on women to strive for an unreachable, Photoshopped version of beauty. But it is not enough to refrain from negative comments; I also try to constantly build her up by letting her know how beautiful she is and how much
I love her. A gift of lingerie is a tangible expression of my desire for her and affirmation of her beauty. I have been buying lingerie for my wife since our honeymoon and there are a few secrets I have learned over the years (alas, many the hard way). Secret 1: Know her size. When it comes to lingerie shopping, guessing the size is bad. Very bad. Few situations are as awkward as the silence that comes after you say to the sales lady. “She is about my height, maybe close to my
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Secrets from the lingerie store
size and her… ummm… her bra size is kind of… ummm… this big?” As you stand there with your hands cupped in front of you and your face burning red, remember this wouldn’t have happened if you had checked her underwear at home and written down the sizes. This will also avoid getting her something too small, or something too large—which will always come back to a conversation about her weight, a discussion best avoided if you hope to ever see her wearing your recent purchase. Secret 2: Shop in off hours. Standing in a lingerie store can be confusing and embarrassing. It gets worse if you’re there during a Saturday afternoon super sale and find yourself next to a mother with her teenage daughters. Picture yourself holding an overpriced satin and lace piece of romantic hope trying to look calm but your face turning redder by the second as you wish you had gone to Best Buy instead. Make your life easy, go when it is quiet. Secret 3: Ask for help. Few things in the natural world have the magnetic drawing power of a sales lady to a man walking into a lingerie store. Only by entering the ladies washroom could you garner more attention. Not that I am projecting any of my insecurities into the situation. I don’t know if they are picking us out as an easy sale or if they are worried we might
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want to try something on. For many years I would politely refuse their help but I finally realized this only prolonged my stay in the store. Most sales ladies want to help and they can find sizes much faster than I can. Let them help you. It is best to ask for help from the older sales ladies. They usually are more knowledgeable, have more experience and can make you feel more comfortable. Asking the hot, young sales lady for help in the lingerie store will only make you look like “creepy old guy.” Secret 4: No gift cards. Do not wimp out and buy a gift card. A friend of mine wasn’t sure what to get, so he bought his wife a gift card. Sitting at home, he eagerly waited, anticipating the erotic delights his wife would bring home. She bought a fuzzy bath robe. He deserved it. Secret 5: Be a man and buy something for your wife. Choose something you think she will like; something that will flatter her. Choose something you like. It is not for public display; it is for the privacy of your bedroom. I have bought numerous items over the years, and some have been bigger hits than others. While some have not come out of the drawer in years, one outfit was directly responsible for our fourth child. Keep trying; keep buying.
This is the best homework you could ask for. Secret 6: The gift is for you. Realize that whatever you buy for her, the gift is really for both of you. Although she is the one wearing it, you are both reaping the rewards. The obvious incentive of sex, the greater benefit of her knowing she is beautiful to you and the reward of a strengthened marriage. She is one of the greatest gifts God will ever entrust you with. Tell her she is loved and that she is beautiful. Show how much you love her and how beautiful she is by risking a trip to my favourite stores—again and again.
Jeff Stearns works for Promise Keepers Canada and is part of the PK@Home Team. He and Jacqueline are still happily married after almost 20 years and share their busy home with five kids and Jacqueline’s parents, who live in the in-law suite.
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The day I labeled myself “pro-death” Denying death is not the same as affirming life
Korey Douglas
Mary knows all about death. As a registered nurse on an intensive care unit (ICU), she regularly sees people on the cusp of leaving the land of the living. Mary is an expert. She can calibrate inputs of fluids and measure outputs, and know what this means to her patient’s health. She knows how the squiggly lines on the monitors relate to
body functions, and how to interpret the beeps pulsating from the machines. She knows what to watch for—what constitutes improvement; what indicates decline. Vital signs are her business. But Mary wasn’t on duty the day we met—at least, not that kind of duty. It
wasn’t just some random patient’s case we were discussing. This time it was her mother, who is fairly old and was rather ill. Mary was troubled, and the subject turned to death. The two of them had already been discussing some burial plans. I thought that was healthy, as it acknowledged the reality of what inevitably comes to us all.
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The day I labeled myself “pro-death”
Care or cure? Defeat death Christianity is a prolife, non-deathMary knows these things, but she also denying faith. While most people today knows how easy it is for families to resist would like to die painlessly in their sleep the departure of a loved one. She’s seen so they won’t be a burden to others, we it in the ICU, where the blipping and dripping have already cued her to the fact live in a fix-it culture that aims to keep the systems going. that death is near, but the relatives are This is not a Christian view of death. calling for extra-heroic efforts that Mary In fact, Christians in medieval times knows will not be forthcoming. routinely prayed to be delivered from a There are many good reasons for “sudden death.” They didn’t want to go opposing the onslaught of death, of quickly. They preferred to endure the course. Life is worth living and survival is torments of the body to the torments of our deepest instinct. the soul. They wanted time for the priest But sometimes people are essentially to administer last rites. Spiritual health ignorant about what’s happening in the was more important than physical health. late stages. “They don’t see the signs,” The priest preceded says Mary. Other resistance stems from the physician. fear—fear of the unknown about what How things have changed. Stanley happens after death; fear of the Hauerwas speaks eloquently about the impending loss. Sometimes distress transformation from “care to cure.” Care arises from a realization that unresolved is more of a priestly role, although it personal issues have been left too late. doesn’t require a priest to provide it. Care Regardless of the reasons for seeking is looking after people who are sick or to prolong the pumping of the heart and dying in ways that make them feel the breathing of the lungs, denying death valuable despite their physical is not the same as affirming life. circumstances. Mary raised questions of medical ethics, wondering who should decide when the gap between life and death is not black and white, but fogs into a murky gray where medical professionals, pastors and families grope their way towards an elusive resolution. “I am generally a prolife advocate,” I told her. “But I am also pro-death.” The words struck hard with stark impact, begging further qualification and context. What I meant to say is that living is more than the mere extension of some baseline physical functions. And while religions in general should be working to accord dignity to life at all levels, we should not blindly deny death to those whose lives have run their course.
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However, the primary concern of modern medicine is to make the disease go away—to cure. Most North Americans are much more careful about choosing their doctor than they are about choosing their pastor or priest. Treating illness with intent to cure is certainly not a bad thing. But it’s not the only thing and it isn’t always the best thing. The singular pursuit of cure makes it more difficult to die in a good way. We should lament this loss of skill in knowing how to die. Can we only die when a physician gives permission? One of the sins of our society is the hubris of attempting to set the terms of our own deaths. In the end, of course, we can’t. If human dignity depends on health and longevity, then dying will always be an ignominious defeat. That is why I called myself pro-death. Mary appeared to understand.
Korey Douglas is a writer who meets some of the nicest people and gets some of his best ideas from chaplaincy work.
sports scene
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Haughty attitude, or simple gratitude? How should we understand professional athletes’demonstrations of faith by Scott Taylor Tim Tebow created a sensation this season. It was called “Tebowing.” It was a simple gesture. After something good happened in a game, the quarterback of the Denver Broncos would take to a knee and thank God for his good fortune. Some believe Tebow was praising the Lord for his intervention, although Tebow no doubt realizes God has more on his plate than another touchdown in a Denver Broncos’ football game. After all, thousands of athletes give praise every week, at every level. No one, however, has seemingly offended the North American media as much as Tebow. Many newspaper and television people apparently think that too much praise for our Lord Jesus Christ is embarrassing and, if nothing else, gets in the way of everyone else’s enjoyment of the big game. They like to imply that athletes “are pushing their religion on every one else.” Even the TV show, Saturday Night Live, with what has to be one of the more creative approaches to the Tebow phenomenon (and if you’ve seen it, you have to admit, it was funny), suggests that the Denver quarterback’s constant praise became way too much for most people to handle this season. Then again, when Tebow kneels to give praise on the sideline, it’s the TV camera and newspaper photographers who search him out. And if he really was praising the Lord for attention, he’d do it in the end zone. “I think Tebow is being discreet,” observes Lorne Korol, chaplain of the NHL’s Winnipeg Jets, who was speaking from the national Athletes in Action Summit in Abbotsford, B.C. “He doesn’t give praise in the middle of the field. He goes to the sideline, alone, and briefly kneels. The cameras went to him, not the other way around. “But we also know what he’s doing. He’s thanking God for allowing him to be
are meant to “force their religion on the successful in something he loves to do. rest of us.” He’s giving thanks for something good That makes Korol laugh—forgivingly. that’s happened in his life. I see no harm “Christian athletes draw strength and in that.” Like just about every other athlete who courage from Christ in times of adversity,” he says. “When our guys are backed into professes Christian faith, Tebow gives a corner at a tough part of any game, they praise to the Lord, but does not believe know they aren’t alone. They know they for a second that God intervenes. He is won’t always be successful, but they well aware there are athletes on the other know they aren’t alone, either. They know team who thank God. Indeed, he God is with them and they aren’t afraid to probably attended pre-game chapel with say thanks.” them. The thing we all have to understand, The fact is, when you watch an athlete believers and otherwise, is that a player’s giving praise during a game it is really nothing more than an athlete with religious convictions giving his faith a high five. “When we talk to our athletes at a Summit like the one we’re sharing this week, we ask them that in all they do, they give all honour, glory and praise to our Lord Jesus Christ,” Korol said. “But nobody, I would say nobody, prays for a win or a touchdown. “We give thanks for the ability to compete. We pray for the spirit of competition and we pray that we will leave it all on the field or the court or the ice for Him. And we pray for the safety of our teammates and our opponents. decision to point to the heavens or take a “I mean, really? There are many players knee has nothing whatever to do with you on that Indianapolis Colts team who are or me, and everything to do with him or Christian athletes and were Christian her. No one is shoving anything down athletes throughout the difficult season anyone’s throat. they endured. But if they’d spent the And the next time you see Tebow season praying for wins, they’d have been pretty disappointed. They probably “Tebowing,” remember that he is not the director of the telecast. He didn’t tell the wouldn’t remain Christian athletes for cameraman to focus his lens on the guy very long. They’re smart enough to know on one knee on the Broncos sideline. And that many of their opponents are if the cameraman never again focused his Christians, as well.” lens on Tebow or any other Christian Many people are offended by things athlete in a brief moment of thanks, you they don’t understand. Those in the can pretty much guarantee that they media who don’t have faith suppose that would neither notice nor care. Christian athletes such as Tebow, Prince Fielder and Detroit Tigers’ first baseman Miguel Cabrera, who acknowledge their Scott Taylor is a Winnipeg-based sportswriter faith after a big play, believe the gestures and broadcaster.
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money matters
Running on empty? Don’t travel without reserves for the things you need in your life. by Paul Emerton
In 1978, singer/songwriter Jackson Browne had a hit song called “Running on Empty.” This catchy tune reached #3 and it stayed on the music charts for 65 weeks. Thirty-four years later, I can still hear the tune and it serves as a good reminder that “Running on empty, running on, running blind…” is not a good way to travel. Here are some tips that may keep you from running on empty. Build and maintain your emergency fund. Maintain at least three-to-six months of living expenses in very safe and liquid investments. This should improve your peace of mind. You never know what life will throw at you and having a backup fund will enable you to survive tough times. Track expenses. In order to know where you are going, you first need to know where you are. It’s important to start recording every dollar spent and to begin categorizing the expenses. Lump expenses into common categorizes such as dining, entertainment, housing, utilities, education, loan payments, auto, etc. Pay the family first. Allocate a specific amount of money to transfer to a savings account. The account cannot be easily accessible for withdrawals. There should be no ATM card attached or chequewriting privileges. The amount that is transferred to pay the family first has to be automated at the time each paycheque is
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received. Determine the amount to transfer by choosing which items to cut back on from your expense tracking from the last 90 days.
chocolates, a long walk, a single rose or quality conversation over a cup of coffee, will nurture your relationship and make it grow stronger.
Get rid of expensive debt. Using credit is a habit that needs to be broken. Credit card balances should be paid off in full every month. If you find yourself in a situation where you cannot pay the full balance each month, make a monthly plan to get it paid down as quickly as possible. This may improve your credit rating and save you fees and interest charges.
Give regularly to charities. Helping others can raise your own spirits and give you a positive perspective on the priorities in life. There are various charities with strong documented track records and concrete needs for more funds to “do good” in Canada and around the world.
Don’t take more risk than you can handle. Recent market volatility reminds us of the meaning and magnitude of investment risk. Now may be a good time to talk to your investment professional to re-evaluate your risk tolerance, update your Investor Risk Profile and rebalance your portfolio. Update legal documents. Update your will and powers of attorney at least every five years. Once a will is written it shouldn’t be ignored. For example, children and grandchildren might receive nothing if they weren’t alive when the will was created. Personal wishes and life circumstances change as well as the law. Having a current will and powers of attorney is essential in today’s world. Do something special for your spouse every month. This is your most important relationship. A special note, a box of
See a financial advisor. Financial advisors can help you navigate your way through these perilous economic times. No one knows what the future will bring, but a good advisor can provide the kind of experience and objectivity that can bring clarity to difficult financial decisions. When you are running on empty in regard to time, money, love and faith, you will feel the same negative emotions you feel when driving with an empty gas tank. A few simple changes can make all the difference, allowing you to travel through the year with reserves for the things you need in your life.
Paul Emerton is a certified financial planner and trainer at FaithLife Financial. www.faithlifefinancial.com
Out of my depth
The missing link Men need mentors to fill the gaps. Have one. Be one. by Phil Wagler
There is an ache in my heart that is no one’s fault. I can’t even join Blind Willie Johnson or Led Zeppelin and croon, “It’s nobody’s fault but mine.” This ache leaves nothing to confess. It just is part of the story of my life; one of those unintended and unplanned happenstances that has shaped me. Perhaps you identify? The pain is connected to my dad. Now, I have a great father. He loves me. He loves Jesus. He pushes me to serve God with integrity. But, when I was 16 my dad suffered a debilitating stroke that hampered us both. It stole the work he loved and so much more from him. It stole the dad I had known at a crucial point of my entrance into manhood. And that’s the ache. I’m almost 40 and as my dad’s health continues to deteriorate, I am coming to terms with this stinging nettle of the soul. I can explain it theologically. I can accept it as part of breathing in a broken world where some things are nobody’s fault. I even see good on this potholed road and the gift suffering can be. I can explain it, but I still struggle with the missing link. The missing link is a the kind of trouble-settling welcome a father provides, allowing me to be free to receive answers, not have them. I’m missing a man who simply makes me at home in his life so I realize that what I face is normal.
Timely help The missing link in many a man’s journey is a Jethro. Moses’ father-in-law is actually more of an influence on the great deliverer’s life than his own dad. Here’s what I note about Jethro’s gregarious life that is the missing link for many men— even guys like me with good fathers. First, Jethro welcomes Moses when he is trouble (Exodus 2). When Jethro’s daughters discover Moses at a well, he is a fugitive—imported trouble from Egypt. Moses is confused: Is he a slave, a prince or a murderer? All hope seems lost, but Jethro rescues Moses’ life, inviting him to marry into the clan and tend Jethro’s flocks. In the process, he is being shaped for a leadership challenge for the ages. What strikes me is the risk Jethro took by embracing Moses when he was an unpredictable tinderbox. He is trouble, and Jethro is the missing link. Second, Jethro welcomes Moses when he has trouble. Years later Moses, by the power of God, leads the Israelites out of the grip of their cruel taskmasters. The exuberance of this new adventure has morphed into the doldrums of reality and Moses is the weary, crispy, overseer of grumbling nomads who have a sick, nostalgic longing for forced labour rather than free desert camping. Once again Jethro enters the story in the midst of Moses’ trouble (Exodus 18). He gives wise counsel, leadership and organizational advice and talks shop because he cares for this man and his wandering troop. Then he leaves Moses
to do what he thinks best. Moses has trouble, and Jethro is the missing link. Trouble Are you trouble? Do you have trouble? Who might be your missing link? Start praying for one soon. Do you know of another guy who is trouble? Do you know one who has trouble? Might you be the answer to his prayers? I was the guy praying for this kind of man in my life about a year ago. While speaking at a conference in Winnipeg I was waiting for a ride in front of my hotel. I was on the phone with my dad; just wanted to see how he was doing. As we chatted my ride showed up…on a motorcycle! Now, I have always wanted a motorcycle, but it’s not a budget priority with seven mouths to feed. The driver was a mentor of mine, and I don’t know how he knew, but chatting with the father I loved and feeling the ache trembling deep within again, there was nothing that ministered more to my troubled soul than a Jethro-figure taking me, a grown man, for a ride on the open road. The missing link was not the bike, but the man: a welcoming Jethro named Doug. Phil Wagler is thankful for the welcome of his Dad and other men like Doug Koop. Phil is author of Kingdom Culture and serves as a pastor in Surrey, BC where he lives with his family and rides a scooter. Hey, it’s a step in the right direction!
seven – issue twenty-two | march – april, 2012 page 27
power play
Great games. Great toys. Great gadgets. Reviews by Sandy McMurray
MR BACON BOARD GAME www.accoutrements.com
Mr. Bacon’s Big Adventure is a board game reminiscent of the children’s classic Candyland. You’re a slice of tasty bacon. The object of the game is to travel safely to the frying pan at the end of the board. There are dangers along the way. As you travel through the mouth-watering country of Meatland, beware of Mustard Marsh, the Wiener Wasteland and the Sausage Sea. The first player sizzling in the pan is the winner! Mr. Bacon’s Big Adventure is made by the same company that makes Bacon Frosting for cakes. Mmm... sweet, sweet bacon. Come to think of it, a little Bacon Frosting might improve Candyland, too.
bits of content you want. At a chosen time, once or twice each day, Little Printer uses your preferences to create a tiny publication on a strip of paper no bigger than a cash receipt. It may seem odd to think of printing as the future, but the creators of Little Printer want to make “the cloud” physical again. Text on a screen has its place, but there’s something great about real, tangible things you can hold, tuck into your wallet, scribble on and share. Little Printer will be available later this year. Launch partners include Google, Foursquare and Facebook, the Guardian newspaper, Nike and more.
CAMERA GOGGLES LITTLE PRINTER
www.liquidimageco.com
www.bergcloud.com
It’s hard to hold a camera when you’re skiing down a hill or driving a snowmobile. If you’re having an outdoor adventure, what’s the best and safest way to record the experience? Summit Series Goggles, from Liquid Image, are designed to do just that. The goggles feature a high quality camera with 136-degree wide-angle
Remember the early days of the Internet when people imagined a personal newspaper? That day is finally here. Little Printer is a palm-sized, web-connected device that prints a personalized mininewspaper based on your preferences. Using your smart phone, you select the
seven – issue twenty-two | march – april, 2012 page 28
lens so you can capture point of view photos and video while you carve through powdery drifts of snow. Summit Series Goggles come with an anti-fog treatment and Iridium lens coating for accurate light transmission. The $340 HD version of the Summit Series camera captures 12 megapixel still images and records video in 1080P HD. The $250 version of the Summit Series captures 5.0 megapixel stills and 720P video.
Add a Micro SD/SDHC card (up to 32 GB) to capture lots more still photos or HD video. When winter ends and summer begins, the Summit Series can also be converted for use with warmer weather activities.
power play
HEATED TRAVEL MUG
WARM JAMMIES
www.thinkgeek.com
www.hammacher.com
The Hot Rod insulated travel mug is designed to keep your drink hot while making you look cool. The candy apple red and shiny chrome details are not just window dressing. The Hot Rod has functional gauges and switches that show how hot your drink is. If the coffee’s getting cold, no problem. Just plug the mug into your car’s cigarette lighter using the included DC power cable. The mug is not only insulated; it’s heated. Next time you go for a drive, take a Hot Rod mug with you and enjoy the ride.
It’s hard to imagine a nicer feeling than grabbing a warm towel when you step out of the shower. There might be one thing nicer, though—slipping on a pair of warm pajamas on a cold winter’s night. The pajama warmer is a simple heated pouch that goes from chilly to cozy in just a few minutes. The heating elements automatically maintain the temperature regardless of what’s inside and the unit draws just 50 watts—less than most light bulbs. The pouch can accommodate towels, hats or gloves and it folds to half its size for storage or travel. According to a recent survey conducted at my house, roughly half of all married couples turn down the thermostat at night to save money. The other, better half of the couple is cold enough to appreciate a gadget like this one.
CUSTOM LEGO KITS www.ichibantoys.com
Ichiban Toys is a two-person team that started selling Lego pieces a few years ago. Now they design and built unique custom kits that use Lego pieces to build beautiful models. Their first successful kit was based on the motorcycle from “Batman: The Dark Knight.” More recent kits have featured famous buildings and vehicles including the C.N. Tower, the Enterprise from “Star Trek” and the DeLorean DMC-12 from “Back to the Future.” The basic kits are relatively cheap compared to authorized Lego kits based on movie franchises, and the designs are creative and interesting.
G.I. FITNESS TEST http://goo.gl/IWiDR
The training program and fitness tests developed at the Physical Training School at Fort Bragg, N.C. were codified in the 1946 edition of FM 21-20, the U.S. Army’s physical training manual. The standards have been revised several times since then, but the fitness of World War II fighting men was measured by this test. Are you as fit as a World War II soldier? I don’t know you personally but I’ll hazard a guess: no, you are not. The outdoor test uses pull-ups, squat jumps, pushups, sit-ups and a 300-yard run. The indoor version adds 60-second squat thrusts: stand at attention, then drop to a squat, drop to pushup, then squat, then stand again. Repeat. Why put yourself through this? As the introduction to the original test says, “Tests motivate the men to improve their physical condition. Frequently men do not realize what poor condition they are in. When the tests reveal their deficiencies, they are much more receptive to an intensive physical training program in order to remedy their shortcomings.” How fit are you? Take the test and find out.
Sandy McMurray writes about toys, gadgets, and games at techstuff.ca
seven – issue twenty-two | march – april, 2012 page 29
What women want
Living through a sexual drought Women need to feel energetic, loved, guilt-free and excited.
by Sheila Wray Gregoire
When I wake up I crave chocolate cake. By 11:30, if I haven’t had a Diet Pepsi yet, I’m in pretty rough shape. But as much as I love my husband, nothing really happens to me if we don’t make love in a while. From surveys I’ve read, that’s pretty SHEILA WRAY GREGOIRE typical for women. If we go without sex for too long, of course, t h e g o o d g i r l ’s g u i d e we can start to have rather graphic dreams, to great sex but in general we don’t obsess over sex. Chocolate, yes. Sex, no. And that puts plenty of you guys in a dismal situation. This month my new book, The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex, is being released. In writing it, I conducted two surveys of 1,000 women each, and one survey of 350 men, to find out what’s really going on in Christian bedrooms. In about 40 per cent of those bedrooms, the answer was: not a whole lot. Forty per cent of women reported making love less than once a week, which means that many guys are living through sexual droughts. And more than 57 per cent of those men report being extremely bothered by it. Another substantial minority say it doesn’t bother them anymore because they’ve given up. I was asked to write this column to explain to men What Women Want, just so you could deal with problems like this. Unfortunately, it’s not that straightforward. I wish I could tell you about a secret switch that will make a woman drool, but the secret switch doesn’t exist. So here are a few strategies to try. (and you thought bad girls have all the fun)
seven – issue twenty-two | march – april, 2012 page 30
Friendship first First and foremost, work on your friendship. When you laugh together everyday, even if it’s about something silly, you build goodwill. Then it is easier to talk about things that are bothering you without either of you becoming defensive. So find hobbies to adopt together. Go for a walk after dinner. Do a puzzle together. Spend some time together, hopefully away from a screen. Once you’re on a good footing, talk to her sincerely about how you feel. Tell her you long not just for sex, but to feel close to her. You want your relationship to be the best it can be. The closer you feel to each other, the better she’ll be able to listen. When it comes to sex itself, a woman usually has two main problems. Either it doesn’t feel that stupendous, so she can’t be bothered; or she’s too tired, so she can’t be bothered. Most women don’t hit their sexual groove until well into the second decade of marriage, largely because it takes most women a few years to orgasm during intercourse. In the meantime all too many women give up, concluding that sex was made for everyone but them. So make sure that she has an amazing time sexually, even if she can’t orgasm when you make love. Give her a full body massage, with moisturizer cream. Light some candles. Tell her you want her to relax. And then learn to bring her tons of pleasure in other ways. Get to know her body and how it responds, and take as much time and care as is necessary to make it respond. Reduce pressure For most women, though, the biggest impediment isn’t lack of pleasure. It’s lack of rest. Kids hang on us all day. We juggle housework and meals and lessons
and meetings and jobs. We crave time that is ours alone, without feeling like we really should be doing something for someone else. Too often, that’s what sex becomes: an obligation that again makes us feel inadequate. So we run in the other direction, and then we project our guilt onto our husbands. We know you guys are upset at us for not making love, and we deflect that guilt by picking at you first. Then we can justify ourselves for refusing you. If you want to fight against this, help your wife get things off of her plate so she doesn’t feel so much pressure. Give the kids a bath yourself so that she can read a book. Do the dishes. Go over her schedule together to weed things out. And then, when evening comes, don’t watch movies until midnight and then expect something to happen. Don’t play video games and then wander into the bedroom at 11:30 hoping for something. Spend the evening with her, and hit the sack early enough that you’re both still semi-conscious. Will all of that work? I can’t guarantee anything, though reading my book together might help (shameless plug there!). For women to want sex, we need all our ducks in a row. We need to feel energetic, loved, guilt-free, and excited. It’s not easy, but for some reason God made us that way. Both spouses have to love and be selfless first before we get our own needs met. Marriage, then, is a crash course in holiness that leads us into God’s arms. That may not be the answer you were hoping for, but it’s the only one I’ve found that’s always true.
Sheila blogs daily about marriage and sex at tolovehonorandvacuum.com.
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