BUSINESS FIT AS A BUTCHER’S DOG 94-year old care home resident, Gladys Hope from Basildon, was asked about the benefits of drinking water for long life. “For better digestion l drink beer. In case of appetite loss l drink white wine. In case of low blood pressure l drink scotch. When l have a cold l drink Schnapps”. “But when do you drink water?” “Oh, l’ve never been that sick, dear,” she replied.
BIZARRE NEWS YOU COULDN’T MAKE IT UP (anything to make us smile)
MADE OF DOSH The Ministry of Defence wrote off £430 million last year over IT and accountancy issues. The MOD stated it was ‘committed to delivering value’. Good gig if you can get it.
AMERICA THE GREAT When American TV networks announced that Joe Biden had won the election, they broadcast far and wide that the UK was obviously delighted with the news as the entire country had let off fireworks after hearing the results. In typical American fashion, they seem to have totally forgotten that on November 5th every year we celebrate the 1605 attempt by Guy Fawkes to blow up the Houses of Parliament! You couldn’t make it up.
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