Mastering the Graduate School Statement of Purpose: Includes Sample Successful Personal Statements

MASTERING

THE GRADUATE SCHOOL STATEMENT OF PURPOSE: WITH SAMPLE, SUCCESSFUL PERSONAL STATEMENTS Written by a Yale PhD! You won’t find a more comprehensive guide! Our resident grad school expert and Yale PhD gives frank advice on positioning yourself to a graduate school program across 19 different lessons.

One thing is clear... this statement is NOTHING like the one that got you into college.

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Contents LESSON 1:

Introduction 3

LESSON 2:

Getting Started 6

LESSON 3:

Why Grad School? 8

LESSON 4:

Audience 10

LESSON 5:

Brainstorming 12

LESSON 6:

Elements of the Statement

15

LESSON 7:

Academic & Professional Background

16

LESSON 8:

Plans for Grad School

18

LESSON 9:

Fit 20

LESSON 10:

Professional Goals 24

LESSON 11:

Structuring the Statement 25

LESSON 12:

Common Approaches 26

LESSON 13:

Purposeful Paragraphs 29

LESSON 14:

Introductions 34

LESSON 15:

Conclusions 37

LESSON 16:

Style & Mechanics 39

LESSON 17:

Tricky Topics & Blemishes

LESSON 18:

Common Pitfalls 44

LESSON 19:

Final Checklist 47

SAMPLE ESSAYS:

Genetic Code 50

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Finding Our Way 52

SAMPLE ESSAYS:

Looking for Political Trends

SAMPLE ESSAYS:

Discovered Self 57

SAMPLE ESSAYS:

Making 60

SAMPLE ESSAYS:

Practicality of Theory 64

SAMPLE ESSAYS:

High Resolution 66

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LESSON 1

Introduction Applying to graduate school is very different from applying to medical, law, or business school and nothing like applying to college. How do I know? I did it, many years ago, and almost made the worst possible mistake. Back then, the statement of purpose was misleadingly named the personal statement. I took that title literally, so spent weeks crafting an essay that extolled my love for my subject and commitment to my field in eloquent, often metaphoric terms. When I had a polished draft, I read it aloud over the phone to my father, a college professor. He fell silent, which was odd because I was an award-winning writer by that time and he had always been my biggest fan. Finally, he said, “No. Not at all. You cannot embarrass yourself by sending that.”

He explained that faculty members don’t want to read your poetic ruminations about your field. They don’t care about your passion, if only because they know that passion won’t get you through graduate school. Skills and discipline will see you through the trials of a master’s or doctoral program. No matter how sure you are that graduate school is right for you, and you are right for it, no matter how much you love to learn, no matter how driven you are to succeed and move on to the next step in your career--you will, at some point, most likely hate graduate school and doubt your decision to enroll. What gets students through that dark night of the soul are skills, discipline, and recognition that graduate school is a job. So write your statement like a job application, with a sense of clear-eyed, unsentimental purpose.

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After that disheartening conversation with my dad, I rewrote my personal statement as a statement of purpose and was admitted to every top graduate school in my discipline with full funding, including tuition and a stipend. I chose Yale, graduating with distinction six years later, then began a new position as an assistant professor at the University of Texas at Austin. There I sat on graduate admissions committees in more than one field in the humanities (MA and PhD) plus observed graduate admissions in a variety of applied doctoral programs. After a few years, I took a new job at Princeton University where again I read graduate admissions in two humanities programs.

I’ve read hundreds of statements at this point and helped countless candidates apply to graduate programs, even in fields far from my own. So much advice out there floating around the web is, frankly, either too general to be of much use or just plain wrong. It’s clear faculty members aren’t writing those sites. So why am I writing this? Because I genuinely want to share my privilege as the child of a professor who attended elite private schools, enjoyed incredible research opportunities as an undergraduate at Columbia, and benefitted from expert mentorship by top scholars in my field throughout my undergraduate and graduate studies. My experience in graduate admissions was acquired as a faculty member at a Research I institution and at an Ivy League university. All the expertise I offer to you here in the hope it helps.

My advice will sometimes sound blunt, certainly frank, because if my path early on was smoothed by privilege, nevertheless my expertise has been hard-earned.

Graduate school can be daunting, especially for students who might not have family ties to the academe or clearly see themselves reflected in the professoriate.

The job market for those aspiring to academe has never been worse and shows little signs of improving; there are jobs out there, of course, but it is now common to spend years in visiting or post-doctoral positions before being competitive for tenure-track jobs.

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Being aware of these realities before crafting a statement of purpose is important because you do not want faculty members to find you naive or idealistic. Part of demonstrating the maturity and independence that will appeal to professors reading your application means being clear-eyed about what you’re getting into and what you hope to get out of it.

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LESSON 2

Getting Started The statement of purpose should focus on your academic interests in graduate school and plans after you graduate; spend much less time describing how you reached the point of wanting to go to graduate school and highlight only those experiences that illustrate your potential to succeed. Your academic history should be used as evidence that you are prepared for this next step and can distinguish yourself in your program.

Think of a statement of purpose like the cover letter for a job application. (Don’t ever confuse it with a personal statement for undergrad admissions.) You wouldn’t tell stories about how much you loved biology class in an application to work at a lab.

You’d highlight your skills and experience in very specific terms. Likewise, in your statement of purpose for graduate school you want to emphasize what you’ve done that has equipped you for this next challenge, especially your research experience.

Remember too that the statement of purpose should clearly state your particular research interests, but you’ll also need to show a general curiosity about the field as a whole. Why? Professors want to know that you will be a willing and active participant in their seminars.

“The people who read these things want to know whether or not you will be an asset to their program. You have to prove that you have the potential to eventually publish, teach, and make presentations. You have to present yourself both as professional and as someone who is able to be taught.”

-from Jane Bast, “Making a Statement,” Chronicle of Higher Education (February 19, 2004) www.essaymaster.com Our Editing Makes the Difference!

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You need to define your interests specifically but not narrowly and highlight a secondary field that aligns with the faculty expertise at the institution to which you are applying. It’s a Goldilocks problem: You want to identify a particular area of interest and avoid seeming too narrow or too broad.

One practical matter: Your statement should be around two pages (not just one and definitely not three), double-spaced in 12-point Times New Roman. That’s about 500 to 750 words. Of course, if an individual program defines specific requirements, follow those!

A note about University of California schools: The University of California also requests a personal statement. The focus here is on identity and diversity--yours personally, in terms of your background and upbringing--as well as professionally in addressing issues related to gender, race, class, human rights, oppression, and inequality within your research and career plans.

Programs other than the MA/MS or PhD (e.g., MSW or EDD) may have specific prompts. Address these, of course, but keep in mind that all the advice here still applies. Faculty members need to know why you want to earn a graduate degree; what specifically you hope to study; and how your interests fit with their program.

Even in questions that seem to ask you to opine on larger or abstract issues, remember that you want to emphasize the skills and experience you bring to graduate study.

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LESSON 3

Why Grad School?

Before writing anything, you must first figure out and articulate to yourself exactly why you want to go to graduate school. Loving a particular subject isn’t enough, nor is simply wanting to learn more. Those reasons are too general. You also want to avoid sentimentality: Love and passion won’t be enough to sustain you through the trials of a master’s or doctoral program. Likewise, professional advancement is not itself a compelling enough reason; your statement of purpose cannot present going to graduate school as merely the means to an end. That kind of single-minded careerism will turn off your professors. They want to find students who will be actively involved in their seminars and prove engaging interlocutors as invested in the process as the product.

So that said, what’s your answer? Why are you applying? What questions do you want to explore? What issues compel your attention? What are you excited to research? Why? What expertise are you committed to acquiring?

Professor Timothy Burke at Swarthmore College gives some seemingly harsh but exceptionally valuable advice on his blog: “Let’s say you want to be a historian. Sit down and write out two or three sentences describing what kind of historian you want to be. If what you get out of that exercise is, ‘I really enjoy the study of history, particularly reading old documents’ or even, ‘I’m fascinated by American history, particularly the Civil War,’ do yourself a favor and give up any ambitions to do a doctorate in history. Not because there is anything wrong with either of those statements, but because you don’t have a sufficiently specific sense of what it is presently like to be a professional academic historian.” www.essaymaster.com Our Editing Makes the Difference!

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The same advice applies to any field: education, social work, psychology, engineering, chemistry. Without a clear and specific sense of what you want to do in graduate school, you won’t be able to craft a compelling statement of purpose.

What Will I Do in Graduate School?

Simply asking “why” risks focusing on your feelings (I love learning or love being in the lab) or your goals after school (I want to advance in my career). So now think about what you want to do in graduate school. It’s not just more undergrad; you won’t simply be taking seminars, completing work that professors assign. What do you want to do? What do you want to research? How can you contribute? Consider the intellectual problems, issues, and questions in your field that have emerged from your research and coursework. Consider how to connect your past or current studies to your future research plans. What training do you need to prepare you to tackle those problems or issues.

There’s some room for uncertainty in your research plans, especially at the master’s level, and you are not committing yourself at this point to any particular topic.

You want to demonstrate to faculty members that you understand your field, the methods and approaches most common as well as emerging in the discipline, and know that graduate study is more than just additional coursework. If it’s available online, read through the graduate handbook in the program to which you are applying. Focus on what is available to you within the department: Don’t extol the visiting lecturers series, for example, and for academic programs extracurricular activities do not matter one bit. Some degree programs (in education, for example, or clinical psychology) might include internship opportunities as part of the coursework; if so, then definitely think about what you would like to do that is specific to your scholarly goals and professional plans.

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LESSON 4

Audience?

Your application will be read by the faculty members in the department or program to which you are applying. (Undergraduate admissions, in contrast, relies on administrators who focus on admissions across the entire college or university.)

Scholars in the field will evaluate your preparation and potential for the pursuit of a degree in their discipline. What’s more, you are generally writing for an even narrower audience: Those faculty members who are scholars in your area of interest. Thus, describing a desire to study electrical engineering or educational psychology is not specific enough. The department needs to match you with an advisor. What you want to research as a student must fit with the expertise of at least one faculty member in the department.

Thus, even before you begin writing your statement of purpose, you need to research the department to which you are applying. Read bios on the university website, paying special attention to the exact wording of someone’s research interests (this will help you shape your own language about the field), then drill down to peruse the titles of a professor’s most recent publications. Pay special attention to the research interests that faculty members list in their bios. If CVs are posted (the curriculum vita is a scholarly resume), skim through those as well. Reading through bios and CVs as well as reading recent publications will help guide you in describing your scholarly interests. Don’t copy and paste or repeat verbatim (plagiarism is a deadly sin in academia) but tweak the wording to demonstrate that you know and understand your discipline and proposed specialty.

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If you don’t find faculty members working on topics that interest you for your own research, then rethink your application to that particular program. If you don’t see a fit, the faculty won’t either. Note, however, that even as you seek to identify the one or two faculty members you could imagine as your advisors, you need to know what others in the department do as well. Remember, you’ll be taking classes with and interacting with lots of professors across a variety of specialties. Again, you want everyone to think that you will be a valuable presence in seminars, colloquia, and other department events.

Duke University gives an excellent example of how to target a specific audience, referencing the field of English Literature.

Here are four sample sentences. Which is strongest?

1. I am particularly interested in studying the history of the Victorian novel at Hotshot University.

2. I am particularly interested in studying the history of the Victorian novel with Professor Fascinating at Hotshot University.

3. Professor Fascinating’s work on Dickens and Eliot is of particular interest to me.

4. I am particularly interested in how Professor Fascinating’s study of Dickens and Eliot challenges prevailing assumptions about the relationship between gender and narrative form in Victorian literature.

The fourth sentence is much stronger than the others, revealing an awareness of the scholarship in the field and the contributions of a faculty member in the target program.

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LESSON 5

Brainstorming Before thinking in any more detail about the particular interests, specific experiences, or relevant accomplishments that have motivated and prepared you to apply for an advanced degree, step back to consider the skills that you’ve honed thus far. Graduate programs seek students who can demonstrate certain key traits.

You won’t necessarily possess all of these, and certainly not in equal measure, but think about which resonate with you. Which ones do you feel like you can claim for yourself? And what evidence can you offer to support that claim?

• seriousness of purpose

• initiative and independence

• academic ability

• diligence and persistence

• intellectual curiosity

• resilience and creativity

• intellectual flexibility

• enthusiasm

• critical thinking

• humility and generosity

• ability to take feedback

• cheerfulness

• maturity

• good humor

• collegiality To begin generating ideas for your statement, reflect on the qualities you’ve chosen.

How can you demonstrate those qualities to readers? What specific examples can you describe from the recent past that might demonstrate each? Begin to connect www.essaymaster.com Our Editing Makes the Difference!

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your academic and professional experiences to three or four of these qualities. Now you have a general sense of what your statement of purpose should be about.

These characteristics or qualities compose your scholarly temperament, which is not the same as your personality. Professors will read your statement less to gauge whether you’re smart enough or experienced enough to succeed in graduate school (your transcripts and resume or CV tell them that) but if you have the right temperament.

Professor Alan Jacobs: “The more pressing and germane questions [than intelligence or experience] involve a student’s temperament. I think many more people have the smarts to succeed in grad school, and in academia as a profession, than have the temperament to do so. What is that temperament? Well, I tend to know it when I see it, but it’s hard to describe. Some of the necessary traits are stubbornness in certain matters combined with extreme flexibility in others; self-knowledge; and a highly developed sense of irony. If those are lacking even the sharpest mind might not be sufficient compensation, because academia is a whole culture, not just an intellectual environment.”

Next, consider the possible academic and professional experiences that you might detail in your statement. What sparked your initial interest in the field? How did you then pursue that interest beyond just taking more classes? How have your interests focused over time? How have you learned even more about this field in conversations with others--including classes, readings, and seminars as well as direct contact with professors--and through work or other experiences? How have you distinguished yourself in your major, beyond your GPA? Most important, what research projects have you pursued?

(Also, are there any gaps or weaknesses in your academic record that you will need to explain? Here’s more about how to handle tricky topics, but for now be sure to take note of what happened, why, and what you learned.)

You might ask faculty members (or supervisors, if you are applying to professional www.essaymaster.com Our Editing Makes the Difference!

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programs after years out of school) who have agreed to write letters of recommendation on your behalf what they will highlight or what they think makes you a strong applicant. You can use their insights to help generate more ideas.

Note that faculty members will generally write their letters independently; if you have chosen to include a letter from a non-academic professional in your field, that person might ask for you to provide some bullet points. Either way, having a conversation with your recommenders about how you see yourself and how they see you can be very useful. Watch and listen to how faculty members react when you talk about your skills and experience. What interests them most will also appeal to an admissions committee! You should also go back to your recommenders with a very nearly final draft of your statement before they write your letters. It will help them to focus their attention on the qualities and experiences you have highlighted. Be sure to welcome and incorporate any feedback they might offer.

Do not depend on your faculty members to read multiple drafts of your statement: A key point in the care and feeding of faculty members is not to show them work until you have exhausted every possibility of making it the best it can be. Show faculty members only your most polished draft, then accept their feedback graciously.

While brainstorming, try to avoid crafting full sentences. Jot down ideas, take quick notes, recall details and dates and specifics from your past, but don’t yet try to shape them into complete thoughts. If you start writing full sentences while brainstorming, you risk beginning to solidify your ideas before they have even emerged. Some people like to sketch-note as a brainstorming process; others sometimes record themselves speaking aloud or talking with a friend (ask permission first!) about their grad school plans.

Finally, step back and reflect on your answer to the question “why graduate school?” Do your ideas (the qualities you claim and the evidence that illustrates them) match up with your initial answer? If so, then you are ready to start drafting.

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LESSON 6

Elements of the Statement Your statement of purpose should answer five basic questions: 1. What do you want to study?

2. What questions within your field do you want to ask and answer?

3. What experience do you have in this field?

4. Why is this program a good fit?

5. What do you plan to do with your degree?

These questions, in this order, basically structure your statement. But don’t simply go through the list and answer each in turn. Just keep these in mind as you draft your statement of purpose and be sure each is addressed.

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LESSON 7

Academic & Professional Background Give the reader, in the form of a coherent narrative, details about your academic and professional background as well as notable accomplishments that demonstrate your preparation for the degree you seek. Remember, your statement is very much akin to an academic essay: It has a thesis (I’m suited for your graduate program) that must be argued with evidence. You will need to describe the skills you have learned from academic, lab, research, or work experiences. It’s essential to give specific examples and illustrate the points you are making. The adage applies here: Show, don’t tell.

Robert Furno, the Dean of Admissions at the Graduate School of Arts and Sciences, likens a successful personal statement to a cocktail: “It’s one part ‘what led you to where you’ve gotten,’ and two parts ‘what you want to do when you get here.’ The best essays that we’ve received are those that can articulate what brought them to this stage.”

Personal details should only appear to the extent that they explain something essential about your interests in the field or relate to your experiences. Remember this is a professional, not personal, statement Here’s an example easily found online and in a book about writing personal statements. (from: https://owl.purdue.edu/owl/job_search_writing/preparing_an_ application/writing_the_personal_statement/examples.html)

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“My interest in science dates back to my years in high school, where I excelled in physics, chemistry, and math. When I was a senior, I took a first-year calculus course at a local college (such an advanced-level class was not available in high school) and earned an A. It seemed only logical that I pursue a career in electrical engineering.

When I began my undergraduate career, I had the opportunity to be exposed to the full range of engineering courses, all of which tended to reinforce and solidify my intense interest in engineering. I’ve also had the opportunity to study a number of subjects in the humanities and they have been both enjoyable and enlightening, providing me with a new and different perspective on the world in which we live.”

This is awful. Don’t do this. First, reaching back to high school is an absolute no, and “seemed only logical” is a pathetically passive description of how this student chose her major. We have no sense of her real interest in science; there’s nothing special here. She was interested in engineering and took courses in engineering. That’s all we learn. The language here is also dull. “Enjoyable and enlightening?” Bland dreck.

Another example begins just as badly. (from: https://owl.purdue.edu/owl/job_search_ writing/preparing_an_application/writing_the_personal_statement/examples.html)

“Having majored in literary studies (world literature) as an undergraduate, I would now like to concentrate on English and American literature. I am especially interested in nineteenth-century literature, women’s literature, Anglo-Saxon poetry, and folklore and folk literature. My personal literary projects have involved some combination of these subjects.”

Again, this example shows what you should not do. This opening will not inspire confidence in readers, because it suggests a certain flightiness. Remember that readers want to see evidence that your experiences and skills have prepared you for graduate study. This statement suggests its author simply wants to take more undergraduate courses; what’s worse, he announces his lack of preparation to pursue the (five!) overly broad specialties he names. www.essaymaster.com Our Editing Makes the Difference!

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LESSON 8

Plans for Graduate School Your plans for graduate school should naturally lead to a discussion of your fit for a particular program (see below). Think of these topics as paired: First, you need to detail what you plan to study and research; second, you should explain with whom plan to study and research. That second part will vary for each school to which you are applying. Here’s where you need to show that you have specific (but not narrow) interests in your field and they align with the faculty members in the department.

Again, unlike applying as an undergraduate, you should not survey the university website in general. You’re not applying to the university but to the department or program. As a graduate student, you will take almost all your courses within your department and should consider yourself a student of that one department, not the university itself. Thus, your focus should be on the coursework and faculty in your desired degree program. Professors are easily insulted by applicants who spend too much time writing about opportunities outside their department; no one is impressed by intellectual promiscuity. If you have interdisciplinary interests, explore those once you are enrolled. Your statement of purpose needs to show your fit with the faculty in that particular program.

Your plans should be specific. Not “I’m interested in 19th-century American history” but this: (from Timothy Burke, “I Choose You, Pikachu”) “I plan to study American diplomatic history, with an emphasis on the antebellum period. I’m especially interested in how the United States integrated itself into the evolving interstate institutions of the early 19th Century, both before and after the Napoleonic wars.” www.essaymaster.com Our Editing Makes the Difference!

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Return to your brainstorming and revisit your ideas about what you will do in graduate school. Here’s some advice from an economics professor that applies to all fields: Professor Sit Nataraj Slavov: “In describing your research interests, try to stay away from the hot topics of the day (e.g., the financial crisis). A topic that does not appear to come from news headlines signals a serious, thoughtful, long-term interest in that issue. Your statement should communicate to the committee that you understand what graduate school is all about and that you have carefully thought through your decision to pursue a PhD.”

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LESSON 9

Fit With twenty years of experience, I have one essential piece of advice: Apply to programs that fit. Meaning, faculty members reading graduate applications in any department--from the sciences and social sciences to engineering, education, and the arts--are going to ask themselves who you will work with as your advisor. They are pairing up students with faculty members. (Much horse-trading can happen when the final cut is made as advising loads are balanced.) You need to research the department to which you are applying; unlike college, the name of the faculty member in your field carries at least as much weight (and arguably more) than the name of the institution. You are writing a statement of purpose to appeal to that faculty member who works in your area of interest while also attracting the interest of professors in other areas who will teach you in seminars.

Most important (and related to the matter of matching with an advisor), faculty members are reading your statement asking, “Why is this program right for you?�

Your answer should show that you know the discipline or field, have researched the department and the program plus read up about the professors and can demonstrate how their scholarship aligns with your research interests. Different departments have different strengths. You will need to figure out what these are and play to them. Do not look at rankings online, and never ever mention rankings in your statement. Read the description of the department on its website carefully, and ask your faculty members for advice. Look at the program requirements to see if certain approaches are emphasized.

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“Applicants must ‘do homework on each program,’ one professor explained.

‘Statements from applicants that state the program is just perfect for them, without evidence they know much about the program other than its specialty name’ will not impress.”

-from “Kisses of Death in the Graduate School Application Process”

You need to show that you know the program to which you are applying and explain why that program excites you. What’s notable about it? What kinds of approaches does it emphasize? What distinguishes the curriculum? (Not the university: the department or program specifically.) Never mention rankings (these are meaningless at the graduate level) and don’t focus on what the program can do for you. Instead, try to be gently self-effacing in expressing your admiration for the program and its faculty. Likewise, you should name specific faculty members you hope to work with, again in humble terms: • I hope to study with… because...

• The prospect of working with Professor X appeals because...

• Professor Y’s work in Z has inspired my interest in…

Don’t praise or flatter faculty members. They don’t need or want your approval.

Express interest in their work, revealing that you’ve read their scholarship and want to engage with their ideas.

Yes, you are going to need to tweak your statement for each program to which you apply. The easiest way to do this is to have a “fit” paragraph that can be swapped out for each school.

Although this passage is available on the web as a sample statement to emulate, it’s terrible. Don’t do this.

Why USC? I believe USC would provide me with excellent training in my profession. After finding its high ranking in the Gourman Report, I visited the school’s Web site for more information. The idea of receiving www.essaymaster.com Our Editing Makes the Difference!

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hands-on training from L.A.’s PR professionals is extremely attractive. I contacted Alan MacDonald, who earned his master’s degree in PR from USC, and current journalism graduate student Jennifer Prosser, to ask about their experiences. Both gave the school and the professors high marks.

Where to begin in describing how awful this is? First, don’t ever ask a question in your statement of purpose. Explain your questions, yes. Describe in detail your research motivations, yes. But don’t ask questions, especially not “Why USC?” or “Why Michigan?” Ick. Of course, USC or Michigan or whatever school you are applying to will “provide” (also a poor word choice) you with excellent training. Looking up the school and going to the website? That’s the bare minimum due diligence, so don’t write about it in your statement. Finding rankings online, name dropping your contacts, then trying to tell the school, hey, you’re good enough for me because my friends said you are?

Everything about this paragraph is cringe-worthy. This approach and tone will turn off faculty members reading your application. This applicant comes across, from this one paragraph, as unpleasant to teach, completely careerist, and lacking in self-awareness.

Here’s a much better example. I don’t endorse this statement of purpose as a whole (it could be improved) but find the “fit” paragraph comes across as appropriately specific yet open-minded.

“Great University is an ideal place for me to continue my research training.

It is equipped with the technology, expertise, and resources in the methods I hope to explore. My interests are an excellent fit for So-and-So’s lab, but I would also be interested in working with Smart Woman, Interesting Man, or Great Guy. Over e-mail or in person, each of these faculty members informed me that Great University fosters an intimate, friendly, and collaborative environment within its Psychology program. As someone who wishes to develop skills in several methods and who enjoys interdisciplinary study and group work, it is of utmost importance that I find myself in such an environment. Most importantly, Great University places an emphasis on student research, a top priority for me. For these reasons, I am eager about the possibility of continuing my research and education at Great University.” www.essaymaster.com Our Editing Makes the Difference!

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The writing, however, could be improved. I’d revise some of the subjects here: Rather than “Great University is an ideal place for me,” say instead “I am drawn to study at Great University because.” Don’t tell faculty members about their institution; the focus should be on you and why you are attracted to the university.

Likewise the wording of the sentence that includes “As someone who . . . it is . . .” desperately needs to feel less passive. Be concise. “Because I wish to develop skills . . . I am eager to be in an environment that. . . .” Likewise “such an environment” proves problematic. Define exactly what “such” means here. An environment that what? “Informed me that” should be “explained that.” Remember that your statement of purpose is also a writing sample.

In general, if your statement includes more than a couple of sentences with “it is,” revise.

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LESSON 10

Professional Goals In a short paragraph, only five or six sentences, sketch out your professional goals.

If you are applying to a master’s program, do you intend to pursue a doctoral degree? If you are earning a doctoral degree and have your sights set on becoming a professor, well, beware. The job market is frankly horrific. Be humble and show some flexibility. Writing “I plan to secure a tenure-track job at a Research I university and focus on publishing” is not a good approach, because it’s just not realistic. (If this is your goal, okay, although you should spend some time looking at job statistics in your field and revisit your response to “Why graduate school?” Earning an advanced degree is entirely a worthwhile endeavor, apart from wanting to enter academe. Just don’t be naive, and don’t communicate naivete in your statement. Frankly, your professors won’t want to deal with your unrealistic expectations and professional disappointments.)

If you have a genuine and sincere interest in teaching at community college, you should certainly explain that and detail your interest in teaching; likewise, of course, you will write about teaching if you are seeking to earn an EDD or other graduate degree in education. Otherwise, do not focus on teaching as a career plan.

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LESSON 11

Structuring the Statement Now that you have answered the questions, “why graduate school?” and “what will I do in graduate school?” plus identified your skills and detailed your background, plans, goals, and fit, you are finally ready to begin structuring your statement.

Two common approaches are chronology and argument. Which you choose depends to some extent on your experience to date: Those applying as undergraduates or within a few years of earning a bachelor’s degree should default to chronology. If you are applying with many years of professional experience, then the argument might work for you.

A word of caution: Do not try anything sophisticated or elaborate in terms of structure. Readers want to be able to get a sense of you, your preparation, and your plans without hunting through artfully designed paragraphs. Remember, faculty members are reading scores or even hundreds of applications. Don’t try their patience! In any field other than creative writing, you should distinguish yourself by demonstrating those qualities discussed above (seriousness of purpose and the like) not by the cleverness of your statement.

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LESSON 12

Common Approaches Chronology as Continuity and Change Over Time You’ll read conflicting advice about structuring your statement chronologically.

In general, the best statements simply read smoothly and easily without jumping around. Especially if you are applying straight from undergrad, or with only a few years of entry-level work experience, chronology serves you best. You want to show the continuity of your interests and efforts over time as well as the growth of your skills and experience. This kind of narrative structure--a kind of professional biography--suggests that you have a serious, sustained investment in the field.

Note that you should never harken back to childhood, nor even high school.

Nothing before college is relevant, and only your work in your major (presumably the field in which you are applying) matters. The strongest statements will not, however, start with something about how you chose your major. (See Introductions for more ways to begin.) No hooks, no fancy or attention-grabbing first sentences, please! Faculty members roll their eyes at such cheap tricks. At the same time, chronological narratives are not just a straightforward march through time. You want to think about the qualities you’ve identified and experiences that illustrate those qualities. How can you show their development over time?

Consider, then, starting with a short example from sometime during your undergraduate years that illustrates your intellectual passion and personal commitment to the field. A research experience is always best. Use the body section of your statement to focus on your intellectual experience with the field, your scholarly interests, and explain why you can best continue your interests at the www.essaymaster.com Our Editing Makes the Difference!

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particular institution to which you are applying. Conclude with your professional plans beyond graduate school.

Again the focus is on your intellectual and academic development, not your personal growth. Explain what you’ve done and avoid describing in any detail how it made you feel.

The argument as claim and evidence If you have been out of school for more than a few years, and especially if you have five or more years of professional experience, you need to structure your essay as an academic argument. Academic papers always have a claim or thesis. Yours? It must answer this prompt: Why are you coming back to school? That’s the question professors will have in mind as they read your application. You are arguing (in the scholarly sense of supporting claims with evidence; it’s not a debate!) that you are an excellent candidate for graduate study and will succeed in the program.

So start with the here and now, describing a key experience that brought you to the realization that it’s time to return to school for a graduate degree. It might be a problem you encountered at work that made you realize you needed more training and expertise to address. Perhaps you’ve recognized persistent issues in your profession that you need the time to explore in more depth with expert guidance.

Or, if your professional career is not the same as the field you hope to study in graduate school, you’ll need to explain the detour.

Your introductory paragraph will end, like an academic paper, with a thesis statement that sets out two or three reasons why you are especially prepared and qualified.

The body of your statement will then be structured like an academic essay. Each paragraph of the body takes up one of the reasons in your thesis, and you may then weave in details from your academic as well as professional experience without fidelity to chronology. Choose your best examples as evidence in support

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of your claim from various points in your undergraduate years and professional career. What have you done that shows your independence or initiative? What research experiences have you had in school and your career? Group your experiences by theme, harkening back to the questions of temperament that you considered when brainstorming.

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LESSON 13

Purposeful Paragraphs Event, Evidence, Significance Each paragraph should focus on a specific quality or characteristic, something you’ve identified as key to explaining your background, experience, and suitability for graduate study. The structure of paragraphs should be the same: Describe an event or experience that illustrates a particular quality, then offer more details that serve as evidence, and conclude by explaining why the event or experience was significant not in terms of how you felt but what you learned. Basically, paragraphs in the body of your statement boil down to explaining what you did, what you learned, and why it matters in preparing you for graduate school.

Now, with that basic design in mind, there are bad and better ways to ensure that your experience stands out to your readers. Consider this example: Bad: “Doing research for my departmental adviser also provided a great deal of useful experience.”

Better: “While my seminar in Behavioral Data Science sparked my interest in item response theory, I mastered the basics of IRT mathematical modeling while working as a research assistant for Professor BigName.”

Think about exactly what you did: not your title or your responsibility, but your actions themselves. Make yourself and your actions the subjects of your sentences and choose active verbs. Good writing depends on good verbs. (Avoid adverbs!)

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Here are some verbs to think about how best to describe your experiences:

Don’t just list items from your resume or CV. Instead, explain how an experience affected you with a focus on what you learned that is relevant to your success in the field. After an applicant to a MSW program described her volunteer work with underserved women, for example, she explains exactly what she learned.

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Bad: “I served as a volunteer teaching women about the importance of breastfeeding.”

Better: “My experience helping women access breastfeeding information and empowering them to use that information has convinced me that information alone is not nearly as useful as information plus a skilled and compassionate guide.”

Here’s another example, adapted from Cornell University, in physics. Pay attention to how specific and detailed the description is--not of the project itself, but of what the applicant did.

“As part of a larger project, I updated the automated data acquisition system. I ported 400 lines of C++ into labview to produce a visual interface. One of the graduate students, Ayanna Smith, helped me find new drivers for the analog-digital converter, but I was solely responsible for the labview programming. The interface is working properly, and I was gratified that my efforts cut the time to run experiments in half. The science goals of the project was…”

Professor Mitch Prinstein has published a comprehensive guide to applying to graduate school in clinical psychology, but his advice about how to describe your research experiences applies to any field.

“Perhaps more important than a list of prior research experiences and responsibilities is a brief description of what you learned from each of these research experiences. This is the piece that separates a good research statement from a great one. Too often, the research statement reports prior research experience as if checking off a box, seemingly indicating that with this requirement satisfied, the applicant should be granted admission.

Thus, statements that go beyond simply confirming prior lab participation immediately stand out. What was the project about? What were the hypotheses that interested you the most? Are you familiar with any of the literature that is www.essaymaster.com Our Editing Makes the Difference!

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related to the research project? How did your experience in this research project help shape your interests?”

Detail your experience and what it means, always thinking about which qualities you want to illustrate plus how it all serves as evidence that you are a match to the program.

Shorter paragraphs are better than longer ones. (Double-spaced, paragraphs should never exceed 2/3 of a page.) The first sentence of each should clearly state the experience that will be described. You should, when finished, be able to read only the first sentence of each paragraph and have a concise summary of your entire statement.

More examples This example of a (bad) first draft and (better) final version is adapted from Carnegie Mellon University.

“I am an ideal candidate due to the knowledge I have gained thus far in my Master’s program at Research University. I have completed courses in multiple fields of chemical engineering, as well as increased my knowledge in engineering techniques and lab research. I further honed these techniques from participating in a lab research project. My first lab experience started when I joined Professor Annette Jacobson’s team to determine the electrophoretic mobility of colloidal contaminants in water, which is useful in water treatment processing. Moreover, I have acquired scientific research skills, for instance, searching the literature, designing experiments, analyzing results, and writing papers.”

This paragraph does not show how these experiences are qualifications. How will what the applicant has done in the past benefit her in the future? How are these past experiences relevant to her future graduate work?

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In addition, avoid ever stating so bluntly that you are an ideal candidate. Professors will immediately flinch. You can’t assert that. You need to show it, not say it.

Here’s the revised version (edited): “In earning my Master’s from Research University in Chemical Engineering, I have cultivated expertise and skills specific to research in colloidal properties. I hope now to bring my knowledge and experience to bear in advancing the work of faculty members and graduate students exploring soft matter phenomena at New University’s department of Chemical and Environmental Engineering. I’ve focused the majority of my studies on both supramolecular engineering of colloidal forces and aggregation dynamics as well as electrophoretic deposition of colloidal crystalline arrays for display technologies. I honed my interests under the guidance of Professor Anne Jacobs and, as a member of her team, examined the electrophoretic mobility of colloidal contaminants in water, which is useful in water treatment processing. I would like to extend my research pursuits to intrinsic and extrinsic microstructural relaxation rates in protein separation and crystallization processes, in concert with work being explored by Professor So-and-So at New University. I would welcome the opportunity to join his lab and find the work of Professor So-and-So in related area likewise compelling.”

Stronger, yes? Cultivated, bring, advancing, exploring, focused, honed, examined, extend, welcome... all are compelling verbs. The statement (as revised) also includes a nod to other faculty members. It’s clear this applicant has a specific lab in mind but remains open to other possibilities.

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LESSON 14

Introductions You may have been taught to write with a “hook,” something catchy or interesting to engage the reader’s attention. Don’t do this. Not for a graduate school statement of purpose and certainly not for any of your graduate seminar papers.

Instead, announce yourself as if you were introducing yourself to your potential graduate advisor, because that’s exactly what you’re doing. Be professional.

Here’s the difference: from MIT (edited) Personal hook introduction: “When I was 17 years old, I was scuba diving off the coast of Australia and had my right leg, below the knee, bitten off by a Great White shark. While this experience was incredibly difficult, the prosthetic leg I received enabled me to live a “normal” life.

I could maintain a similarly active lifestyle engaging in activities like running, skiing, skateboarding, and even scuba diving. My accident was the event that inspired my entry into the field of biomedical engineering with a focus on orthotics and prosthetics.”

Direct introduction: “I’m applying to the biomedical engineering program at M.I.T. with a concentration in orthotics and prosthetics. My extensive work with ankle stabilizing mechanisms, along with my own experience of living with a prosthetic leg, has prepared me to contribute to the ongoing conversations in such department seminars as Required Course and Another Course, contribute to the innovative research in www.essaymaster.com Our Editing Makes the Difference!

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the MIT orthopedic robotics labs under the direction of Professors Big Name and Another Big Name, then advance my career in cutting-edge prosthetics design.”

Many statements begin with some kind of anecdote meant to illustrate an applicant’s interest in the field: It’s the “spark” statement, i.e., Here’s what sparked my interest. That’s fine, but be careful to not tell some kind of elaborate, flowery, sentimental story. Never focus on your feelings, and don’t tell a long, involved tale.

Here’s an excellent introduction to a chronological essay that includes a “spark” subtly and professionally. Right away faculty readers can tick off some boxes in the list of desired qualities: a commitment to research, intellectual initiative, a diverse range of experiences and interests; knowledge of the field; and essential skills.

Compare this opening to the “I like science and engineering” example above, and note how much more sophisticated this applicant appears.

MIT application (edited) “I have been involved in research since the start of my college career: from designing an independent project synthesizing a conductive molecular wire with self-insulating properties, to industrial research on the kinetics of polyurethane chain extension reactions, to my most recent project investigating a protein transport phenomenon in transgenic mushrooms. In my senior year, I ran a set of PCR projects on a gel. Suddenly, at 4 a.m., a phenomenon that had defied explanation for months became clear thanks to one piece of data--one missing band.

Its absence explained data we had struggled to interpret. I remember the rush of clarity; with that puzzle suddenly solved, new possibilities opened up for further research. That experience has inspired me to undertake my master’s in Chemical Engineering.”

There’s so much that’s so awful online. No professor is going to be inspired to admit an applicant who writes this:

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“While I will never make the grandiose statement of knowing the nittygritty of my life’s plan at an early age, I can state – with a degree of certainty – that it would undoubtedly involve books. In that much, I was accurate.”

And, as one professor has begged, “No epiphanies, please! No stories like, ‘I was driving down the freeway and then the sky opened up and I heard a voice saying you should go for the PhD!’” Here’s another terrible example of what not to do. The psychodrama here is too much.

“Looking back, I always knew that I wanted to work in public service, but I also knew my staunchly conservative father would not be pleased.

To him, the government is too big, too intrusive and too wasteful. I see things differently. And yet, his approval means a lot to me and his opinion has certainly influenced the direction of my career. I have finally come to understand that I must pursue my own path. After careful deliberation, I am confident that public service is, without a doubt, the right career for me.”

Oh, and put away the thesaurus.

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LESSON 15

Conclusion Conclusions have a purpose: They are to explain your career plans beyond graduate school. Many if not most PhD applicants will imagine becoming a professor. That’s fine, but you need to convey that goal with a healthy dose of humility. Faculty members know that securing a tenure-track job is increasingly difficult; they do not want to deal with your unrealistic expectations. At the same time, you might not want to dismiss the possibility of an academic career, and you certainly don’t want to portray graduate study as just a stepping stone to career advancement.

Yes, it’s a delicate balance, best achieved through carefully chosen phrases: • I imagine myself

• At present, my goal would be to

• I hope to

• I plan to

• I aspire to

• I am committed to

Consider some of these tactfully worded closings.

the potential academic “I am committed to pursuing a scholarly career in curriculum development focused on K-12 multicultural literacy, while recognizing the realities of the academic job market. I would hope to secure a postdoctoral or visiting position where I can revise my dissertation as a book or a series of articles plus begin to develop a second research area--all while gaining valuable teaching experience.” www.essaymaster.com Our Editing Makes the Difference!

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the aspiring professional “After earning my master’s in public administration, I hope to work in the area of economic development in Latin America. The setting might be a private (possibly church-based) development agency, the UN, the OAS, a multilateral development bank, or government agency. Graduate school will prepare me to apply the theories of global development and postcolonialism to redress health care inequities as intersecting with gender and security in Mexico and Guatemala.”

Diplomacy and discretion are key to the conclusion. This ending feels too blunt, too simplistic. The opening (“in terms of a career”) cannot possibly flow from what came before; plans are presented as just another, separate topic. The listing (first, further, ultimately) is crude, and the idea of “studying literature for its own sake” is a kiss of death. Don’t do this.

“In terms of a career, I see myself teaching literature, writing criticism, and going into editing or publishing poetry. Doctoral studies would be valuable to me in several ways. First, your teaching assistantship program would provide me with the practical teaching experience I am eager to acquire. Further, earning a Ph.D. in English and American literature would advance my other two career goals by adding to my skills, both critical and creative, in working with language. Ultimately, however, I see the Ph.D. as an end in itself, as well as a professional stepping-stone; I enjoy studying literature for its own sake and would like to continue my studies on the level demanded by the Ph.D. program.”

Everything about this example is crude and unsophisticated.

A word specifically for those aspiring to earn the PhD and enter academia: Do not focus on teaching. You should certainly highlight any teaching experiences you’ve had, but you are applying to research institutions where faculty members generally care much less about their teaching than their research.

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LESSON 16

Style & Mechanics The tone of your statement should be, above all, professional. Consider the statement as a second writing sample. Strive for sobriety and precision. Use the terminology of your discipline but eschew jargon and don’t try to impress anyone.

Avoid the words “interesting” and “important.” Eliminate adverbs. Above all, you want your statement to be readable. Try to be clear, concise, and engaging. Taking an academic or scholarly tone does not mean you should write ponderous prose.

Faculty members are reading so many statements; you do not want to try their patience or tax their attention.

Here, from UC Berkeley, are words and phrases to avoid.

• significant

• appealing to me

• interesting

• appealing aspect

• challenging

• I like it

• satisfying/satisfaction

• it’s important

• appreciate

• I can contribute

• invaluable

• meant a lot to me

• exciting/excited

• stimulating

• enjoyable/enjoy

• incredible

• feel good

• gratifying

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• fascinating

• rewarding

• meaningful

• useful

• helping people

• valuable

• I like helping people

• helpful

• remarkable

• love

My best strategy for cleaning up your prose is to turn nominalizations back into verbs. Nominalizations are verbs made nouns, often ending in -tion. Turn these back into the verbs they should be, and your prose will suddenly feel much more active. Consider these examples: NOMINALIZATION

VERB

realization

realize

investigation

investigate

explanation

explain

argument

argue

decision

decide

discussion

discuss

assumption

assume

My very favorite style guide, for those interested in improving their prose, is Joseph Williams’s Style Toward Clarity and Grace (any edition). The guide expands on the venerable advice of Oliver Strunk and E. B. White in their classic The Elements of Style.

“Omit needless words.”

Proofread, then proofread again, then ask someone else to proofread for you. Although spell check and online grammar checking programs can be useful, do not rely on them. www.essaymaster.com Our Editing Makes the Difference!

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LESSON 17

Tricky Topics Maybe your transcript is unblemished and your testing exceptional. You still might need to think critically about your academic record. When reading your statement, faculty members will ask themselves, “Are you prepared to succeed in graduate school?” So think seriously about the degree requirements and your preparation.

If the program to which you are applying has a language requirement, for example, and the last time you studied a foreign language was in high school, then that’s a potential problem. If your dream program includes certain course requirements in mathematics, but you failed calculus, then that’s definitely a problem. Such issues aren’t insurmountable, but you will need to address them in your statement.

Keep in mind that the biggest myth in admissions to any school, at any level, is that readers are looking for who to admit. They are looking first for applicants to eliminate, and any need for remediation raises a red flag.

Blemishes on your record Faculty members will scrutinize your transcripts, comb through your CV, and study your letters of recommendation. If you have something on your record that will raise their eyebrows, you should address it in your statement of purpose. What might you need to explain?

• poor undergraduate grades or a low GPA • exceptionally low standardized testing scores

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• lack of work experience • gaps in the chronological account of your education or employment • disciplinary action • criminal record

Also, if you are reapplying to the same program after having been denied, you will need to detail what makes this second application different. What deficiencies from before have you remedied? What new experience have you gained?

In explaining a deficiency, weakness, or other blemishes, you should be very careful about your tone. Avoid sounding defensive. Explain the situation as dispassionately as possible and move quickly to note how you recovered from a setback or overcame a challenge as well as what you learned from the experience.

Not all bad grades need to be explained. I earned a C+ in French the second semester of my first year at Columbia. Class met Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. I just didn’t go on Fridays. Yet I never bothered to point out this one low grade in my statement of purpose. Why not? Two reasons: First, it happened in the second semester of my first year, and I still made the Dean’s List that semester plus went on to graduate Magna cum laude. Second, I took two more years of French in my junior and senior years, enrolling in graduate-level translation courses specifically to prepare for the language exams in graduate school.

Not all struggles need to be shared, and not all reasons for failure are valid. True, my French instructor was unkind and unskilled plus more than a little sexist, but I earned that bad grade. A death in the family or financial crisis certainly could explain a rough semester. Not being a great test taker? Unless your scores are eye-poppingly, jaw-droppingly low, it’s probably not worth explaining them. Most faculty members pay little to no attention to GREs and other standardized tests.

Your transcript matters much more.

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If you failed a class owing to plagiarism, you’ll need to understand whether the reason for your failure is marked on your transcript. You’ll also have to look and see if anywhere in the application asks if you’ve ever been found responsible for plagiarism or other forms of academic dishonesty. Having committed academic dishonesty during your undergraduate years is not necessarily the kiss of death (more about those below), but it is a black mark on your record--especially in your application to graduate school. If it was a youthful infraction (your first or second year of college) or can be explained as a misunderstanding that you later worked to remedy (incorrect citation practice, a weakness in paraphrase and summary, or confusion about group work) then explain the situation without sounding defensive. Don’t go into detail, just state the facts of what happened and emphasize what you learned. Move on to highlight later successes.

Above all, when writing about mistakes or weaknesses or failures, be honest.

Academia is a surprisingly small world, and it is entirely possible to be blacklisted in a field for being deceptive in your statement of purpose.

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LESSON 18

Common Pitfalls Scholars have identified “kisses of death” in a statement of purpose for study in psychology, counseling, or clinical work. Their advice applies broadly to all personal statements. Here are some of their key findings and how they relate to other fields of study: 1. Avoid discussing your mental health. Do not discuss or disclose anything about your own psychological or emotional health. Even if a personal experience related to your mental health has inspired you to pursue your field, do not write about it.

2. Avoid excessive emotion or idealism. The researchers identify excessive altruism as a “kiss of death” specifically in psychology, but it applies to any of the “caring” fields: psychology, social work, and education, for example. More generally, any expression of excessive affection for a field--the love of history, love of literature--is a kiss of death.

3. Avoid revealing too much personal information. Always remember that the statement of purpose should be focused on your professional preparation and plans. As noted above (tricky topics) any hardships or challenges should be mentioned only in context. Avoid disclosing too much personal information and focus instead on how any difficulties you’ve experienced are evidence of your resilience. Remember, someone else probably had it worse.

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Other “kisses of death” identified include seeming boastful or proud; choosing inappropriate recommenders (basically, anyone other than a professor or direct supervisor); and trying to flatter faculty members.

More Dos and Dont’s • Do not start with, end with, or include anywhere in between an inspirational quote of any kind.

• Do not try to be funny or clever or cute.

• Do not use jargon, slang, or expletives.

• No exclamation points. Ever.

• Avoid metaphors.

• Avoid cliches.

• Avoid contractions.

• Do not mention high school.

• Do not write about extracurriculars or hobbies unless they are obviously relevant to your area of study.

• Do not mention your health status (physical or mental), relationship, or family status.

Typos and grammatical mistakes are very likely to tank your chances of admission.

Read and re-read your statement. Show it to trusted mentors (faculty members, colleagues, friends, and family) and ask them to read carefully for any errors. Slips of the finger can wreak havoc. (More than one student has applied for a degree in “pubic” health.) If you are a non-native speaker, consider hiring a native speaker to proofread and check for idiomatic usage.

Do not write about learning differences (one possible exception: neurodiversity is the specific area you wish to research) or the need for accommodations. www.essaymaster.com Our Editing Makes the Difference!

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Do present yourself as a young professional and an aspiring scholar. Strike a mature tone, but do not imagine yourself as a colleague or friend of a faculty member. Respect the hierarchy in academe: You are an applicant, which means you are a supplicant. You are asking for consideration and presenting your qualifications. Be respectful, never presumptuous, and do not criticize anyone or any scholarship in your statement. (You never know: The work you are criticizing might be by a friend of the professor reading your statement.)

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LESSON 19

Final Checklist Final Checklist & Conclusion Once you’ve drafted, redrafted, written, rewritten, revised, edited, and polished your statement, take a few days away from it. You’ll return clear-eyed and can take a fresh look at your essay. Then read your statement one last time--strategically, with this checklist in mind: 9 Does your statement make an unstated claim that you are prepared to succeed in this particular graduate program?

9 Does all of the information in your statement serve as evidence in support of that implicit claim?

9 Do you demonstrate why you want to attend graduate school and how have you prepared for graduate school by detailing your experience in the field?

9 Do you describe in detail experiences that highlight key academic skills as well as your scholarly temperament?

9 Do you explain why you want to attend this particular graduate program, focusing on the program itself and the faculty? Do you vary that paragraph for each program?

9 Have you shown your statement to and sought feedback from at least one faculty member in your area of interest? (Ideally you should share your statement with those writing your letters of recommendation.) www.essaymaster.com Our Editing Makes the Difference!

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9 Do you concisely and tactfully address any concerns that might arise when a faculty member looks at your transcript or CV? 9 Do you sound like an aspiring scholar and professional without being pretentious?

9 Have you read your statement aloud to check for infelicities in wording?

9 Have you proofread your statement?

9 Is your statement between 750 and 1,000 words?

I hope this advice helps you, no matter what degree you seek, as you craft your statement of purpose. It’s a unique genre of essay, to be sure, especially because its thesis (“I’m an excellent applicant”) is implied, not stated outright. My advice here is meant to save you hours of fruitless searching online and ensure that your statement makes a compelling argument about your suitability for graduate study.

Alas, there are no secrets, no quick fixes, no tips or tricks that will unlock the ivory tower. Instead, writing the statement of purpose requires introspection, reflection, analysis, and argumentation--just as all academic writing does. But here’s the thing: The time spent crafting a persuasive, convincing statement of purpose will pay off.

It’s a first step in starting to shape your scholarly and professional identity. Soon enough you’ll be writing grant proposals, fellowship applications, and cover letters touting your newly acquired expertise!

I’d say good luck, but having worked through this advice you don’t need luck because you have skills. So instead I’ll wish you well on your path to and through graduate school.

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Sample Essays

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⁄ DUKE, CORNELL, NORTHWESTERN, EMORY

Genetic Code I am absolutely fascinated by the astonishing simplicity of the genetic code. That an entire living, breathing being can be programmed from four simple letters is miraculous to me. From the day I first learned about genetics in my high school biology course, I fell in love with the elegance of DNA, its structure, its potential for variability, and its resistance to harmful mutation when the dysfunction of any one of thousands of genes could be detrimental to life.

In the genomic era, information is more widely available than ever before. I am passionate about demystifying genetic data and uncovering the unique mutations underlying each patient’s illness. In the course of cancer treatment, being able to succinctly choose effective therapeutics based on specific pathways determined by genetic biomarkers can save months or even years of valuable time in a patient’s life.

I believe that communication from bench to bedside is crucial to advancing biomedical research and achievement. As a physician, I hope to use my nuanced understanding of molecular genetics to fully educate my patients on their conditions and walk them through treatment with a firm understanding of its effect on their body at the smallest level. As a scientist, I hope to bring my

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direct experience with medical care to emphasize the most pressing problems facing patients and strive to answer the questions most essential to improving my patients’ quality of life. A combination of the M.D. and Ph.D. degrees will uniquely qualify me to push the boundary of cancer genetics research with both patients and researchers in mind.

The past three years in a research lab have fueled my drive to investigate the unknown and to elucidate life’s greatest secrecies. Work done in the lab is thrilling and immensely rewarding; I am enamored with the process of research at every phase from concept to breakthrough. I find scientific theory captivating – from days of drawing out organic chemistry mechanisms for fun to hours searching the internet to learn about the latest trials in cancer immunotherapy, I am constantly amazed by the intricacy, complexity, and beauty of the compounds that comprise human life.

I hope to pursue a career as a pediatric oncologist and cancer genetics investigator.

I cannot imagine a livelihood without aspects of either discovery or patient interaction. I believe that raw science informs and enhances medicine, and I hope to advance my career at the interface of these two disciplines, hovering on the cutting edge of genetic testing, drug design, and development of novel treatment.

As the use of genetic information and genetics-based research permeates all specialties of care, there is no better time to be a physician-scientist in the field and I am ecstatic to be in the center of the action.

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⁄ HARVARD KENNEDY SCHOOL

Finding Our Way Here in the United States, our healthcare and education systems face a similar intractable problem: poor outcomes relative to exorbitant spending. My focus on these two policy areas through my studies in the Woodrow Wilson School and work as a Policy Analyst have taught me that the monolithic inefficiencies of these systems are complex, deeply rooted, and defy big fixes and silver bullet solutions.

Yet, I’ve seen firsthand how small, targeted initiatives in areas that are governed by stale or misguided policies and ripe for innovation can create meaningful change. My senior thesis focused on the relatively low levels of financial literacy among American youth when compared to other counties. Most U.S. schools do not offer financial learning as part of their curriculum and little research has been done on the subject.

Performing a regression analysis using the first international assessment of youth financial literacy test scores, I identified a positive relationship between mandatory financial education and literacy and identified the specific curriculum structures that had the most impact. Focusing on one small area of education policy, I was able to fill a literature gap and make novel evidence-based recommendations to prepare students to make sound personal finance decisions.

Similarly in healthcare, my recent investigative work as a Policy Analyst hones in on a specific area of Medicare policy: how to drive greater efficiencies of quality and care www.essaymaster.com Our Editing Makes the Difference!

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through bundled payment models. I’ve played a key role in the design and refinement of both Medicare’s Bundled Payments for Care Improvement Initiative as well as its End-Stage Renal Disease Prospective Payment System. This work is critical to ensure that payments are accurately adjusted to account for the riskiest and high-cost patients in a way that improves access to care and prevents care stinting. Thus, by improving the statistical models that determine these payments, my work has impacted the lives of millions of the most vulnerable Americans.

In my experience as a Policy Analyst, I have found that one small, targeted policy success such as these can beget many more. Several of the most promising Medicare initiatives I’ve worked on have since been expanded to new diseases, new settings of care, or have even been transformed from voluntary to mandatory. When highly focused fixes or innovations are proven effective through robust analysis, policymakers are often eager to fine-tune and scale them for application in other contexts.

This is how I would like to contribute to the education and healthcare policy fields.

I want to identify specific inefficiencies and previously untapped opportunities for improvement, pin point their barriers to change, use evidence-based tools to create and spread replicable solutions, and relentlessly chip away at enough small pieces to make a substantial impact.

I’m not so naïve, however, to believe that a thoughtful process of gradual, systematic, and evidence-based change is sufficient for success. Addressing inefficiencies and poor outcomes in healthcare and education policy also requires that solutions are communicated and messaged effectively. This is particularly important for driving change across impassioned policy areas such as these, where emotional intuition can be in conflict with empirical evidence. It can also be challenging when solutions are developed using complex methods but must be communicated to a general audience in a digestible way. So in addition to advancing the technical skills needed to affect positive change, I plan to use my MPP training to develop the communication and leadership skills that will help me bridge these worlds, so that the evidence-based solutions I work on can be widely accepted by key stakeholders and the public at large.

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â „ COLUMBIA UNIVERSITY, YALE UNIVERSITY, STANFORD UNIVERSITY, UNIVERSITY OF SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA, PRINCETON UNIVERSITY

Looking for Political Trends Growing up in a low-income immigrant home in Fresno, California, history always captivated my curiosity, serving as an escape to a distinct yet similar past. This lifelong intellectual curiosity for history now drives me to become a professional historian. My own scholarly progression toward academia was catalyzed by a series of experiences in rigorous inquiry and research. Being admitted into the Mellon Mays Undergraduate Fellowship Program (MMUF) helped me realize that a career in academia was not only possible, but also important for young scholars of color like myself to consider. Through workshops, mentorship opportunities, and conferences that I participated in as an MMUF Fellow, I confirmed my passion for research. I gained concrete research skills in the summer of 2014 through the MMUF Summer Research Training Program, a ten-week program focused on academic writing, research techniques, and historical methods. That same summer, I began working as a research assistant for Professor Tianna Paschel. As a research assistant, I helped copyedit two manuscripts for publication that involved specialized citation research, transcription, and translation.

Writing my senior thesis in history at the University of Chicago was the major turning point in this intellectual trek. My main scholarly question was to understand how Latino political identity was forged and powerfully emerged

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around the 1983 mayoral campaign for Harold Washington, who was elected as Chicago’s first Black mayor. This project allowed me to work closely in two of Chicago’s historical archives, supplementing this research with a wide variety of primary and secondary sources. As I worked independently on my thesis, keeping track of personal deadlines and staying disciplined was tantamount to my success and a great learning experience. Throughout the process of crafting research questions and formulating an argument structure, I was also able to engage my work with peers and senior experts at many conferences, most notable of which was the International Latino Studies Conference. With the guidance of my faculty mentors, my thesis was awarded the University’s Cox-Just Prize and will be published in the faculty-edited Chicago Studies Journal in early 2017.

Upon graduating from the University of Chicago in June of 2015, I decided to take some time off to broaden my perspective and gain new skills as a Research Analyst for the Service Employees International Union (SEIU). In this capacity I focus on the regulation and reform of Medicaid policies as they relate to the in-home healthcare industry. I have gained many new skills in legal research methods, survey creation, and quantitative data analysis through my assigned projects. In the world of organized labor, the timeline for research projects is very fast-paced and the types of sources used are very different from historical primary sources. But despite the dissimilar contexts of public sector and academic research, I have learned invaluable professional research skills that have prepared me to embark on my graduate studies with confidence.

During my time with SEIU, I was given the opportunity to work in Nevada as part of the national union voter mobilization effort for five weeks leading up to the 2016 presidential election. By targeting and engaging with specific communities, we worked to form a coalition of disparate groups to support progressive candidates. And though I was sent to Nevada with a very clear objective, I returned from the experience with many complex research questions about American politics and society. The issues that I witnessed on the campaign did not appear to be new, but rather grounded in the political history of the United States in the long-twentieth century. Inspired by my recent observations, I want to follow the line of inquiry around elections themselves as catalysts shaping and revealing the historical processes of group identity formation. www.essaymaster.com Our Editing Makes the Difference!

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Within the discourse of political history, my dissertation research interest positions electoral campaigns at the center of an analytical framework in order to better understand the construction of social, racial, and political identities.

Political candidates have used the rhetoric of constituency to galvanize voters for decades, closely aligned with the formation of group identity. The historical problem at hand is analyzing the extent to which the political forces of elections actively propelled the development of identities, rather than simply appealing to “preexisting” factions. Additionally, the converse is also equally important, wherein elections demonstrate that historically cohesive identities are actually more divided than has been assumed. Specifically for my research, I want to delve into archival records from various twentieth-century political campaigns to uncover the language, organizing, strategy, and advertising that reinforced the social categorization of individuals into blocs such as Latinos, organized labor, and others. To this end, I conceive this to be a history of presidential campaigns as much as it is an urban history, as group identity is also powerfully shaped by the politics of neighborhoods and local elections.

To become the researcher and historian that I aspire to be requires a mix of ingredients: various theoretical perspectives, thoughtful mentorship, and most importantly, a challenging intellectual environment. Without a doubt, these are the very reasons I am applying to Columbia. I am particularly inspired by the possibility of working with Professor Mae Ngai, whose scholarship on the history of citizenship and national identity in Impossible Subjects is closely aligned with many of my research interests. Similarly enkindling are the methodological frameworks in political history employed by Professor Alan Brinkley’s work on the American presidency that I would like to learn from and incorporate into my own research. Additionally, I am also interested in working with Professor Ira Katznelson upon his return from sabbatical in 2018. Overall, I hope to contribute as much to the intellectual community of the department and the University as I hope to learn from it. My decision to apply to Columbia’s program was not rushed, but rather carefully considered as the ideal place where I can grow as a scholar, broaden my worldview, sharpen my methodology, and engage in the discourse of history as I begin my academic career.

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â „ PRINCETON UNIVERSITY

Discovered Self My infatuation with architecture came rather late in my academic career. It was during a period when I had a lot of self doubts and internal conflicts in my life and architecture was the vehicle for this self realization. Through discussions with peers and professors alike, I was able to remove the small minded, suffocating ideations I had towards the discipline of architecture instilled in me early on in my academic career at my predominantly conservative university. After taking several interdisciplinary studios under Gabriel Esquivel, Casey Rehm (visiting professor from Sci-Arc), and Sarah Deyong (recipient of a Ph.D from Princeton) my preconceived notions of what architecture is, were trampled. From then on, everything became about architecture. It was through this newfound respect for architecture, and design in general, I was able to find myself navigating new realms of creative personal expressions. I was able to reflect upon these new exposures and gathered self realization about my previous biases. As facetious as it may sound, I owe architecture to my coming out as bisexual, something I struggled to come to terms with for years. I was able to shed the prejudices and self hatred instilled in me throughout my conservative, religious upbringing through a new personal expression, that is, design. I felt that I finally had a confidence in myself I was never able to achieve before. The architecture community became a safe space for me. I developed personal relationships with my professors and colleagues because www.essaymaster.com Our Editing Makes the Difference!

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I finally felt that I could express myself the way I’ve always wanted to, in ways I never knew I could. This expression is communicated through the provocative and occasionally quirky nature of graphic representation seen in my work. Quite like the designer, I see each project to have its own individual identity and I wish to show it’s representation as such. I looked towards queer artists and other creatives (the drag community, fashion designers, film directors) to fuel my intrigue due to their unique and unfearing assertion of who they are through their works, and as a result, I was able to find a voice for myself.

However, being at such an early stage in my architectural career, I believe I do not yet have the privilege to have a brand for my work. I wish to attend graduate school and study under established architects, pursuing their agenda and identity and then utilizing certain aspects in my own work later on, creating a representation I can call my own through the drawing of intersections between representation and the built form. During my journey as an architecture student I have honed a variety of applicable skills and points of interest in the domain of architecture.

These interests include the investigation of architectural philosophy and theory through cross disciplinary studies. I am very interested in formal characteristics of autonomous objects and their ability to respond to their own context. The everpresent quest for exposure to theoretical topics fuel my passion for design. I also have an inclination towards architectural visualization and representation. There’s a soft spot in my design aesthetic heart for the estranged, outlandish, otherworldly, comical, playful, and somewhat absurd executions of architectural questions.

Objects that oscillate between building, machine, or critter. I have an affinity for works that tell a narrative through design at all scales. The works of Erin Besler, Michael Meredith, and Paul Lewis have interested me greatly and I believe their styles align nicely with what I would like to pursue in my graduate experience. I would hope to one day be able to study under them in a studio setting.

I would be more than grateful to continue my architectural career at the Princeton School of Architecture. I believe there is a strong aversion to formal analyses and design at all scales through interdisciplinary explorations of historical/theoretical,

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socio-political, and digital methodologies. I would like to advocate on behalf of the LGBTQ+ community. I wish to bring about this awareness and advocate through pursuits in design. Though the design community is most stereotypically where this community thrives, we are still underrepresented and sometimes undermined due to incorrect misconceptions. I wish to work in tandem with queer artists and designers to create spaces, products, and/or works that represent this community in the light that they deserve. I hope to grow as a designer on all fronts in the hopes that I may foster ideals for a design firm of my own someday, whether that be in architecture, graphics, products, or fashion. After gaining an identity for myself through the learning under this esteemed faculty I hope to head back to the classroom as a professor myself. I have had substantial mentoring/teaching experience throughout my undergraduate career as a Camp ARCH counselor for high school students, serving as their first introduction to the possibilities of architecture as well as serving as a studio liaison, teaching underclassmen softwares such as Rhino, Maya, Keyshot, Vray, and Adobe Suite. Teaching is a passion of mine and I would love nothing more than to teach something that I love so much.

Attending the Princeton School of Architecture for my Masters of Architecture would be an incredible next step in my life for furthering my career and myself.

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⁄ MIT, HARVARD, PRINCETON

Making Language is a technology that affects the processing and expression of representation. In a self-directed research project in my Visual Practice course, I explored the overlapping boundaries of image, text and notation. After working towards specific definitions for them, I realized a latent belief that each functions as a language for communication and that the nuanced vocabulary of each language is its differentiator. Learning and commanding the vocabulary of various design languages allow architects to speak through non-verbal avenues, and the ability to translate ideas between media, to move ideas between representational languages, is the architect’s strength. My architectural work has two main branches: visual translation and material translation, the former as translating ideas into visuals and the latter as translating ideas and visuals into 3-dimensional space. I approach design problems through the framework of translation, each with its own response to the interwoven cultural, material, and environmental conditions of the design investigation. An initial thought transfigures into diagrammatic, abstract visuals and further reconfigures into spatial representations of concept.

My undergraduate architecture education allowed me to explore this interest in visual and material translation through my wide range of courses. Throughout my studios and electives, I have approached the design inquiries through

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socioeconomic and ecological frameworks with an additional imperative of understanding boundaries of representational techniques. The field of architecture, as an interdisciplinary practice by nature, is uniquely poised to address the pervasive issues and intersections of culture, media, the built environment, and nature. In order to better relate with others of differing backgrounds, I pursued many courses outside the field of architecture; a combination of technical courses and French language study have completely impressed the importance and versatility of translation theories upon me.

In my architecture electives, I selected classes specifically to learn beyond the basic architectural education, exploring theory, computational design, and digital fabrication. I believe that one’s limits of representation are the limits of their knowledge, so I planned this variety to expand my own limits and design vocabulary; I intentionally selected each class so that I could better use architecture as an interdisciplinary link to encourage sustainable built development, cultural contexts, and environmental consumption.

Outside of studio and continuing after graduation, I have been heavily involved with both fabrication projects and professional work. In my Pre-Cast Concrete course, we began an open-ended investigation into reconfigurable rubber molds as a means of exploring a more sustainable future for architectural casting processes without compromising aesthetic variety. While continuing fabrication and exhibiting at the FabCity Conference over the summer, I was also working as a professional fabricator and designer with Formations Studio in Atlanta. Leading the design development and fabrication of a large, backlit wood veneer public art installation over the course of several months, I instilled my own beliefs about intentional material selection. Currently, I work as an intern architect at EYP in Boston, in a community of individuals highly dedicated to using design to improve the human experience and preserve environmental resources. The opportunity to incorporate a project into its environment beyond the complexity of a single building, in areas like historical preservation and master planning, has reinforced my desire for interdisciplinary studies in architectural education. This position has considerably improved my understanding of how visual representation through www.essaymaster.com Our Editing Makes the Difference!

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precise detailing enables the physical manifestation of design intent which has completely confirmed my desire to pursue licensure and work as an architect.

The Master of Architecture program at MIT aligns with my professional goals due to its focused curriculum, prolific faculty, and effective research groups. While teaching someone how to be creative could be seen as a contradiction, the program at MIT has an established history of teaching its students to think independently and to develop their own design constraints that set them up to be conscientious designers with a strong work ethic. The school emphasizes social engagement and environmental awareness, which completely align with the values I hold both in and out of academia. MIT’s program and its research endeavors would allow me to further develop my interests in visual representation, computational design, and multimodal making while directing those interests into realized applications that are more widely accessible. I especially admire MIT for its systematic education that treats architecture as a practice; its intensive improvement of isolated skills, that when recombined, add together into great designers, readjusting mental frameworks of architecture to work between architecture and other fields. This approach to architectural instruction would apply a beneficial pressure on me to rapidly and intensively improve my existing design skills.

MIT is at the forefront of investigating the open-ended processes and practices of “making” through theory and fabrication, and this emphasis on the thinkingmaking relationship and advancing data visualization promises meaningful opportunities to learn from established faculty members and research organizations; Renee Green, Gediminas Urbonas, Rasa Smite, and Raitis Smite are a few individuals whose research around visualizing the intersection of art, thought/memory, culture, and the inhabited environment are particularly interesting to me. I especially want to contribute to this line of investigation, either through working directly with faculty researchers or through organizations like the Computational Making Group, enabling me to apply my range of skills towards solidifying “making” as a means of designing and enhancing both common and unique human conditions through established avenues at MIT. Between the

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engaging courses and wide range of research topics, I can clearly envision a path for me to contribute to architectural discourse and to expand upon my existing beliefs surrounding design.

The field of architecture can address the increasingly complex relationship between culture, nature, and the built environment, and we must be the mediators between these intricacies and their visual and material representations, working towards a more just and sustainable society. I propose that the architects of today must fully embrace the digital turn to grow their design vocabulary and prepare themselves to use design to intelligently guide the increasingly intertwined nature of the world to fight for compassion towards our fellow humankind, our shared earth, and our collective future.

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⁄ MIT, RICE UNIVERSITY, MICHIGAN UNIVERSITY

Practicality of Theory I believe that it is necessary to defy the standards of the present in order to think about the future. It is apparent that the subtext of current events and technological advancements are dictating change, a change that will bring about a world in which architecture must operate on modes that are beyond today’s normal. I want to pursue a Masters Degree in Architecture to prepare for this new normal. This advanced education will equip me with the expertise to challenge the practice of today. It is imperative that I learn from those who operate on the forefront of our profession. Through this program, I aspire to further develop my disciplinary interests in advanced tools for architectural form making and theory-based design research.

After my undergraduate studies, I continued the trajectory of developing my design sensibility by working for Tom Wiscombe in Los Angeles. His advanced approach to the discipline carries a significant influence on my current interests and methodologies. As much as it was a professional experience, it was a mentorship that advanced me as a designer and an aspiring architect. Design can be found anywhere at any time, as it is just a matter of how one observes. For example, while designing the National Museum of World Writing, we appropriated our 3D printer’s imperfect resolution to influence formal decisions. I was fortunate to

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work on strange and odd things like museums that reused extracted figures from medieval castle plans or an oversized fireplace that acted as circulation, structure, and book shelving. These architectural objects placed their respective surroundings in question, like an augmented reality overlay.

Architecture changes the status quo and extends beyond the built environment as it engages mediums that define our everyday reality and how we accept it.

Academia engenders this pursuit towards the future ahead, with an ‘if not now, when’ attitude.

The culmination of my disciplinary training at Texas A&M University expresses a strong interest in contemporary ideas as they relate to the discourse. After I was introduced to canonical concepts in architecture ranging from Criticality to Digital Turn, I have gravitated towards Speculative Realism and Accelerationist Aesthetics.

Eventually, like the faculty at Princeton, I aspire to contribute my own theoretical position in the contemporary architectural discourse.

My interest is in theory based architectural practice; however, I am open to a variety of research direction. There are several professors at Princeton whose works are especially appealing to me such as Sylvia Lavin (theory), Jesse Reiser (practice), Michael Meredith (practice). Studying these professors for my own studio projects have given me a sense that Princeton’s Master of Architecture program is a great match for my interests. I would be honored to join the environment Princeton has curated and to be given the opportunity to learn from those who have expert knowledge in combining theory with practice.

Thank you for taking the time to review my application, I look forward to your response.

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⁄ PRINCETON SCHOOL OF ARCHITECTURE, PENNDESIGN, KNOWLTON SCHOOL OF ARCHITECTURE, TAUBMAN COLLEGE UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN

High Resolution I am a designer who is concerned with architectural theory ultimately as it engages with the practice. I see urban tissue as a laboratory for testing the psychological, economic, and physical effects of built work on its surroundings. My aspiration is to do work that both investigates prior solutions and is also stimulated by current events and technologies. With its focus on new technology and its unsurpassed background in history and theory, Princeton School of Architecture is the ideal place to strengthen my design ideology and target my direction as a designer in tomorrow’s socio-political milieu.

As an undergraduate student, creating digital models as a personal hobby helped me to develop a design sense. I experimented freely with my projects by mixing many digital production methods which pushed my technique further. I familiarized myself with a wide range of design development workflows including evidence-based design methods, computer-generated design, design with conceptual methodologies, and more.

After a few years in architecture school, I had the opportunity to intern at Preliminary Research Office. I am stimulated by how this firm is able to adopt formal characteristics from their theoretical interest in a way that creates an architectural language. I admire how they can turn one gestural mass move into www.essaymaster.com Our Editing Makes the Difference!

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a plan move or a detail, solidifying a formal code at varying scales. Additionally, the office excels in resolving the even the most minute details of their projects in surprising ways, revealed in intricate physical models to animated technical drawings. I want to bring this sense of “high resolution” into my own future work.

My eventual aim is to become the principal of my own architectural practice that can both rigorously engage in contemporary theoretical discourse and remain relevant to the demands of a world increasingly concerned with overpopulation, privacy, mass migration, big data and more. I desire to learn in an academic environment that seriously addresses the near future of architecture as it relates to these topics. Pursuing the Master in Architecture degree at Princeton will grant me the opportunity to further learn how to implement the most current ideas, tools, and conceptual design methodologies as well as master fundamental architectural spacial tactics to reify my design narratives.

To me, it is critical to study interpretations of what the built environment could be, and then begin integrating the concerns of scholarship into the practice in new ways. At Princeton I will be exposed to a collaborative and experimental studio culture that I believe fits my learning style well. I will have the chance to further improve my collaboration skills and can practice performing team roles in highintensity projects. I am particularly intrigued by the diverse array of studios whose themes can wildly diverge from or can play off the others’. To me, this atmosphere is an incubator for innovation as it corrals students to think about a single concept with different perspectives while also continuously bringing in fresh ideas.

Thank you for reviewing my application. Looking forward to your response.

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