EDITORIAL Money can’t buy you love. And whilst it can certainly give you advantages in football, as in life, it is no guarantor of success. Doncaster Rovers’ budget this past season will have been very favourable by League One standards, and whilst that has enabled managers to bring in the players they wanted to bring in – it is howvever no guarantee that once they get here they’ll fulfil their potential.
To this day, my favourite criticism of Terry Bramall remains that instead of throwing money at Doncaster Rovers he has instead given his money to at least two Universities to help them build libraries. What a wanker eh? There he goes, trying to enhance the education of thousands of the nation’s young men and women, rather than buying a halfcrocked centre-half for a third tier football club. Selfish get.
Rovers’ relegation to the fourth tier has not been caused by a lack of investment, nor has it been caused by a lack of ambition. The former, because the board’s principle men – Dick Watson and Terry Bramall – have once again propped the club up to the tune of a couple of million pounds or more each. The latter because it’s a throw away statement which ultimately stems from their very reasonable unwillingness to throw millions upon millions of their fortunes at a football club.
Maybe in a parallel universe there is a board meeting of Pro-ViceChancellors discussing funding at the University of Birmingham in which Bramall’s donation to their library fund is raised. ‘What? He’s only giving us £2million? But he’s worth millions. That’s the problem you see, he’s not really a library person is he, he clearly just wants our education provision to fail’.
CONTENTS: ISSUE 82 5 8 9 10 12 14 15 16 17 18 20
The Bernard Glover Diaries Who Stays? Who Goes? In Off The Post Marshall Matters Jack the Miner’s Coal Face The Belles, The Belles The Shirt Locker Follows the Rovers What Type of Moaner are You? Watching From Afar Jack’s Craic
22 25 26 28 31 32 33 34 36 38 39 3
Howard’s Marks Conference Calls Gary Brabin Memorial Lounge Voice of the Pop Side Remembering the First Time Waugh, Huh, Yeah Spotted! Beneath the Statue Windmills of Your Mind Memorable Memorabilia Laws of the Game
As relegation loomed I saw a post somewhere in the bowels of Roversrelated social media that compared the current club board to Ken Richardson; as if steady investment was somehow on a par with Batmanvillain-esque slapstick assetstripping. A suggestion as ludicrous as it is disrespectful. A level of idiocy that shows a mind so vindictive and one-eyed that it has gone beyond reason. You sense that Dick Watson and Terry Bramall could’ve played themselves up front at Crewe, scored a couple of goals each, and they’d only have been criticised for not doing so sooner.
The short answer to that is no, though I suspect they’d want something more engaging on radio. So here goes; As remarkable and enjoyable as Leicester’s title win is, it will unfortunately change nothing in football. Rather than showcase how much more enjoyable and watchable a league in which underdogs can triumph is, it will instead be used by fans of those clubs with money as a stick to beat their current club with. Beaten to the title by little Leicester. ‘Van Gaal Out!’ ‘Wenger Out!’ ‘We need to spend big to make sure that doesn’t happen again’. This Leicester achievement can only happen once, because for all its ‘best league in the world’ marketing bollocks and bravado, the Premier League has spent two decades doing all it can to ensure the success of the established names is protected. This is merely the security breach that results in tighter security.
The thing is, this season, more than any other in the past decade, has shown that throwing money at a football club is no guarantee of success. Manchester United, Chelsea, Newcastle United have all spent the sort of riches that could wipe out a nation’s national debt, yet have all been left floundering in the wake of a club who have championed the notion of team spirit and collectiveness over acquisition of big names.
But you don’t have to look as far away as the Premier League to see a smaller team having success through establishing a team that can play to greater success than the sum of its parts. Rovers’ final day opponents Burton Albion are testament to that; as too are Northampton Town, the champions of the division into which we will soon descend. For all the demand from sections of our support for the club’s board to throw more money (or ‘ambition’ if you prefer to feign ambiguity) at the club, it is to sides like these Burton that we should be looking for inspiration.
On Tuesday afternoon I had a phonecall from a reporter from BBC 5 Live who wanted to talk to me about Leicester City’s title win. Though the media coverage in the previous 24 hours had been blanket to the point of being ubiquitous, I was surprised that they’d exhausted all Leicester fans so soon. Instead, she explained, she wanted to talk about what this meant for fans of smaller clubs; whether it gave them hope and if it reinvigorated their relationship with their own club.
GW 4
THE BERNARD GLOVER DIARIES WE WATCHED THE MATCHES SO YOU DIDN’T HAVE TO. SPOILER ALERT; IT DOESN’T END WELL FRIDAY 25 MARCH COLCHESTER UNITED 4-1 ROVERS
MONDAY 28 MARCH ROVERS 0-1 BLACKPOOL
‘Like butter through a knife,’ yelled the fella behind me as Colchester ambled through Rovers’ defence to score their fourth. Whilst Rovers had not quite been so bad as to reverse the laws of physics, they had plumbed new depths of awfulness by making the third tier’s worst club look like Barcelona.
You’re having a laugh aren’t you?’ some fella shouted at me as I tried to sell fanzines after the match. ‘No mate,’ I replied, ‘I’m a Rovers fan’. Fifteen games without a win offers little mirth, and after Friday’s capitulation at Colchester hope was on similarly short supply.
In the wake of such woefulness it’s hard to comprehend Rovers led for forty minutes; James Coppinger’s glorious raking pass taken on and slotted home by debutant Gary McSheffrey. But even at 0-1 it was clear all Colchester needed to do to make the game theirs was cease panicking and put their foot on the ball. That they duly did.
Yet, despite the doom Rovers showed an improvement on Friday’s horror show. Andy Williams showed determinism and initiative as he flashed a shot wide, whilst Mitchell Lund couldn’t quite bundle home a six-yard box scramble. However, the first half ’s best chances went the way of Blackpool and but for Remi Matthews could’ve been in front; the Rovers goalkeeper saving well from first Danny Philliskirk and crucially Mark Cullen on the break.
Giving the Us most creative player, Gavin Massey, the freedom of the left turned out to be an unsurprisingly bad idea as he skipped past Cedric Evina to set up Chris Porter for the equaliser. And from then on Colchester frolicked in the Easter sunshine with embarrassing ease; Elliott Lee and Alex Gilbey rained long-range goals; and Richard Brindley wrapped it up, with Rovers’ defence now merely a concept rather than an actuality. A complete tactical failure from Darren Ferguson, coupled with a complete lack of responsibility or intelligence from the players on the pitch. Shambolic, shameful and indefensible. 5
We’re often told that you make your own luck in football; bad and compounding news for a Rovers team struggling to construct anything of their own. Whilst the rebounds and deflections from Rovers pressure continued to spin harmlessly away Blackpool got the most crucial of breaks three minutes from time; Cullen’s shot deflecting off a committed block from Andy Butler to loop over Matthews and in for the win. It never rains but it pours.
So when the deadlock was broken it was sadly inevitably done so by Bury; despite Richard Chaplow’s uselessly cynical attempt to bring down the home winger he escaped his reach and crossed for Leon Clarke to volley home the only goal. In the wake of this defeat Chaplow gave an interview saying he was ‘mystified’ by Rovers recent run of results. It’s a team that can’t defend and can’t score goals losing matches Richard, it’s hardly the Mary Celeste.
SATURDAY 2 APRIL ROCHDALE 2-2 ROVERS TWO F***ING ONE UP IN THE FIFTH F***ING MINUTE OF F***ING INJURY F***ING TIME! SIXTEEN F****ING MATCHES WITHOUT A F***ING WIN! USELESS F***ING DONCASTER F***ING ROVERS!
THURSDAY 5 APRIL So, it transpires that Rovers new away kit has been designed by none other than Louis Tomlinson. You’d be of a want to cry ‘fix’ had each possible design not been as bloody awful as the next. From terrible design options to celebrity ‘fan’ winners; such a holistic approach to f***ing up getting a new kit in place is some achievement; one on which you can read more about on page 12 of this issue.
SATURDAY 16 APRIL ROVERS 3-1 WIGAN ATHLETIC Oh now we win, now we bloody win. Hallelujah, praise Barry Miller, Rovers have won a game of football for the first time since the FA introduced three points or a win. Wigan must wonder just how the hell we’re in this mess; we battered them here in the Championship and now we’ve taken four points off their promotion campaign. Can we play you every week? Please.
SATURDAY 9 APRIL BURY 1-0 ROVERS There’s only one stat that matters in football. Unfortunately it is neither social media engagement, nor the number of corners won. Rovers had loads of the latter in this match, but failed to make any count in a first half which our correspondent described as ‘aggressively mediocre.’
This victory seemed even less likely at half-time, especially as by then Rovers trailed to a Will Grigg header. But then, miracles of miracles, within ten minutes of the resumption, Rovers were ahead as Andy Butler rolled up his sleeves and elected to sort this shit out; heading in one corner and volleying in another. Then with four minutes left McSheffrey broke clear only to be upended by David Perkins. The Wigan man was dismissed; Williams despatched the penalty and at 3-1 up against ten men, with five minutes to go, you finally sensed that we might just do it… we might just hang on for a point.
Luck deserts you when things aren’t going your way; so too it seems does composure. Williams, clean through on goal from a misplaced backpass shanked his effort into the Gigg Lane seats, and then soon after had a headed goal disallowed due to an offside Coppinger obstructing the keeper. 6
‘This could kick start our season now,’ Darren Ferguson tells a reporter after the match. Aye, I suppose four games to go, is as good a time as any.
SATURDAY 23 APRIL ROVERS 2-0 COVENTRY CITY Typical Rovers; just as you’ve got yourself excited at the prospect of experiencing some new away grounds like Newport, Wimbledon and Wycombe, they decide to make a ham fisted attempt at staying up. Just twenty minutes in Rowe got his head on a McSheffrey corner and via thirteen different deflections the ball found the back of the net. Miraculously it was 2-0 before halftime; Nathan Tyson crossing for Williams to head home.
TUESDAY 19 APRIL CHESTERFIELD 1-1 ROVERS A point that probably takes Chesterfield to safety and, but for three wins from the remaining three games, you would suspect confirms Rovers relegation to League Two. Bouyed by Saturday’s unlikely win, Rovers took an early lead when Tommy Rowe turned in McSheffrey’s corner. However, early joy and belief was soon curtailed as within 12 minutes Chesterfield were level through Gboly Ariyibi. Rovers had chances to win it, but just couldn’t make them count. Sound familiar?
Coventry stirred briefly into life in the second half, but once Matthews saved from James Maddison their threat faded away and Rovers were left to contemplate a possible Great Escape, especially with already relegated Crewe next in line.
7
WHO STAYS? WHO GOES?
BERNARD GLOVER DIARIES
CONTINUED FROM PAGES 6 AND 7
SATURDAY 30 APRIL CREWE ALEXANDRA 3-1 ROVERS
That’s the key question as Rovers reshape over the summer. Well, we asked a panel of fifteen supporters who’ve watched Rovers regularly this season to tell us who from the current squad, regardless of contract status, they would ideally keep for a tilt at League Two and who they would ideally release. And similarly we wanted to know who, of Rovers’ five loanees, they would ideally keep.
So, turns out it is the hope that does for you as Rovers’ performance encapsulates the whole wretched season in microcosm. In the words of our reporter John Coyle; ‘they defended with the resilience of a soufflé, attacked with the cutting edge of a wooden spoon and capped it off with the sort of individual error that’d make a pub footballer blush.’ And all that despite going in front through Tommy Rowe. But then just before half-time Crewe broke; no danger though as Cedric Evina had time to deal with Zoumana Bakayogo’s cross to the centre. All he needed to do was hoof it onto the railway-line, just put his foot through it and… oh God… oh God Cedric what are you doing? Why are you trying to chest a ball two feet off the ground? Oh God… why are you lying down? Oh God. 1-1.
For each vote to be kept players received a point, so if a player scored 15, it means all of those we spoke to wanted to see that player retained. The results can be seen below, with players listed by popularity. Andy BUTLER James COPPINGER Luke McCULLOUGH Harry MIDDLETON Nathan TYSON Andy WILLIAMS Craig ALCOCK Cedric EVINA Liam MANDEVILLE Mitchell LUND Thorsten STUCKMANN Billy WHITEHOUSE Marko MAROSI Richard CHAPLOW Paul KEEGAN Curtis MAIN Dany N’GUESSEN Aaron TAYLOR-SINCLAIR Gary MACKENZIE
Still, 45 minutes to save the season, just defend sensibly and create something at the other end. Alas, the formerhas eluded us in 44 matches thus far, and that didn’t change; Marcus Haber taking advantage as a cross escaped what felt like a dozen Rovers defenders. On a late counterattack duly confirmed Rovers’ descent into League Two. Good job the club didn’t spend a day mocking Crewe on the twitter when we beat them earlier in the season otherwise we’d feel really silly now… oh. Oh no.
The Loan Players Tommy ROWE Gary McSHEFFREY Cameron STEWART Ricardo CALDER Remi MATTHEWS
So that’s that; a squad, which on paper, suggested nothing but an improvement on last season’s finish was on the squad, has conspired to take Rovers into the fourth tier for the first time in twelve years. C’est la vie.
GW
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IN OFF THE POST YES, THAT’S RIGHT, WE’VE ACTUALLY HAD SOME BLOODY EMAILS Subscriber Matty McCormack emailed us to ask if we could give a mention to his friend from the US, Charlie Marro, who experienced a Doncaster game for the first time when Rovers defeated Wigan. Charlie, who is from New Jersey, met Matty whilst holidaying in Mexico four years ago and forged a friendship over a shared interest in football. Well, we’ll do owt for a subscription renewal at popular STAND, here’s Charlie at the Keepmoat. Bet the poor sod wishes more Leicester City fans holidayed in Cancun now. Dear popular STAND,
Cantley has been shagging the teams wives while they’re at training what could possibly account for such a gutless collapse by so called professionals? Bit of a more southern bias league for us next year I guess – every cloud…. Keep up the great work.
In the right places I’m a great advocate of swearing. There’s nowt like multiple expletives in my book. What the f***ng e’ll has gone on this f***ing season eh? I just dont f***in’ get it! Unless all the playing staff found out in January that the bloke who weeds the grass at
‘Essential Wales away reading,’ is how subscriber Lucy Mason described popular STAND issue 81. Lucy, who works for the FA of Wales, sent us this photograph of herself and fellow subscriber Mark Evans reading the fanzine whilst testing out the dugouts at the Friends Arena in Solna, Sweden.
Geoff
5
MARSHALL MATTERS AHEAD OF ROVERS MATCH AT CREWE, ROB MARSHALL FOUND HIMSELF WRESTLING WITH HOPE AND FATE To be honest I have found the last couple of weeks quite difficult - in footballing terms, I must clarify certainly the most difficult since the turn of the year. Just when you think you know about life’s constants: the unwavering presence of taxes; the sky being blue; grass being green; that door in the hall that won’t shut properly and so on, something happens that throws everything into doubt. For me, the last couple of weeks have been just that.
I tried desperately to convince myself something was different. By the time I had decided that it was, it wasn’t anymore, as Chesterfield had found an equaliser. However, this game had come on the back of a coupon busting win at home to table topping Wigan and whilst I decided, with a gulp of realism, it wasn’t back on, the seed had been sown and some green shoots of revival were just about visible, creeping through the manure of the rest of the season.
No, the door still won’t shut properly despite my best efforts, but for weeks, most of us may admit we had become accustomed to heading to the Keepmoat for a weekly dose of dire, gutless and incompetent football. Rovers were dreadful; we were undoubtedly going down and that was that. The relentlessness of the sides performances since January had ground me down to a clearly defined reluctance that things were as they were and nothing would change them.
I now find myself writing this on the back of another win, 2-0 at home to Coventry City. Two goals, a clean sheet, improving performances along the spine of a group once more beginning to look like a team. Of course, it may well be too little too late, and there are still key figures at the club, both on the field and off it, who are culpable, but for now that can wait. I now know for sure that I’m done for once more. The last few months may have been comparable to a Stephen King novel at times, but to borrow a quote from one of them provides clarity on where we currently are; ‘You think okay, I get it, I’m prepared for the worst, but you hold out that small hope, see, and that’s what fucks you up. That’s what kills you.’
Only now things are different and for the first time in months and months I actually felt a pang of excited optimism about the Rovers, as my phone sent a joyous notification that Tommy Rowe had bundled us in front at Chesterfield. ‘It’s back on... is it? Yes it is... well, wait hang on, what??’
10
I’m now consigned to hours staring at the league table once more, berating a well-crafted Shrewsbury winner as much as rejoicing in one of our own. It has become fact that for a Doncaster Rovers supporter, it is hope that sometimes feels like a well-aimed kick below the belt. That may well ring true this year, just as it did on that final day in the Championship against Leicester in 2014, or as it did in 2012, or in 1998 or in... well, you get the picture. I often, whilst growing up, berated the fact that I wasn’t born in Manchester, or Merseyside, or even Catalonia, or that my dad hadn’t grown up as an Arsenal fan and consigned me to a life of cup finals, trophies and victories along with years of sheltered safety.
Yes, there are safer options, and other teams, but having had my hopes let down, or having had dreams crumpled in a heap whilst being forced to live with disappointments in the past have made me and Doncaster Rovers stronger as a result. If this is to end as another one of those disappointments, as one of those gut wrenching failures then so be it.
Though whilst the hope does kill you, it also brings with it dreams which are all the sweeter for their infrequent realisation, days like that at Wembley, Brentford or the rollercoaster at the Millennium Stadium were so perfect because they have never been cheaply acquired. Each one feels like the culmination of a long served apprenticeship where the true worth of victory is etched on all those who stumbled through all the hard yards that preceded it.
For now at least, on the run up to Crewe away, there are still six points up for grabs and the dream is on, the great escape beckons and I will have to go through it all to its conclusion. For all the well documented and often celebrated evils in football, that’s why we all come back for more. We hope, and we dream. In the end, what is life or football without it? As a Doncaster Rovers fan sometimes hope is all there is.
RM
BERNARD GLOVER’S
BELIEVE IT or NOT One time Rovers striker Neil ‘Goals’ Campbell was crowned World Gurning Champion in 2011. The win was a huge surprise for Campbell, not least as he hadn’t actually entered, and had only been passing by the Championships on his way to get a paper. 11
JACK THE MINER’S COAL FACE WHY HAVE ROVERS BEEN SO AWFUL THIS YEAR? JACK THE MINER THINKS HE HAS THE ANSWER There had to be a reason for Rovers’ staggering run of utter uselessness. And there is. By hacking the Ferguson family e-mail accounts Jack the Miner is able to reveal the shocking truth; the story they tried to hide.
Reply from Alex Ferguson:
OK son, shunt Jones out on loan. Just ship him out as far away as possible and make sure he never, ever comes back. Reply from Darren Ferguson:
EMAIL CORRESPONDENCE 1. From: Darren Ferguson To: Alex Ferguson
But dad, he’s my best defender and a great leader on the pitch.
Hi Dad, Got the job at Doncaster. Any advice?
Reply from Alex Ferguson:
Aye son , he might be, but all the time you’re there he’ll be looking over your shoulder. He’s the next manager in waiting if you go through a sticky patch. Rule One of management is get rid of your potential replacement.
From: Alex Ferguson To: Darren Ferguson
Well done son. A nice club. First thing to do is get rid of Richie Wellens. He’s a trouble maker.
Reply from Darren Ferguson: Sure thing dad. You know what’s best.
Reply from Darren Ferguson But dad, he’s my best player.
Reply from Alex Ferguson
EMAIL CORRESPONDENCE 2. From: Darren Ferguson To: Alex Ferguson
Get shut son. It’ll save you a lot of grief in the long run. I know him of old. He’s a big-time Charlie and he’s bad news. And while I think about it; any local heroes or legends there?
Hi Dad, Things are going OK but we’re pretty dodgy at the back, especially now Jones has gone. I really need to sort some replacements in the transfer window. We’ve some young lads, some older heads who aren’t in good form and some that just aren’t up to the job. Any recommendations on who I might get in?
Reply from Darren Ferguson:
Well, there’s James Coppinger. Been here years and Rob Jones who has been caretaker manager twice. He’s got more between the ears than the average footballer. He coaches the youngsters and he’s a big cult hero in these parts. They had a Rob Jones Day not so long ago.
12
From: Alex Ferguson To: Darren Ferguson
From: Alex Ferguson To: Darren Ferguson
Son, son, son take my advice and leave well alone. You need a settled side and you need to nurture your young lads. Don’t destroy their confidence. Re-building your defence is the worst thing you could do right now. Don’t touch it. It’ll come good.
Ah young Darren. Remember when you were twelve and I asked you to clean your room and you told me to eff off? And how you told me to mind my own business when you started wearing eyeliner when you were sixteen? And there was the time I dropped you from the United first team and you called me a senile old tosspot?
Reply from Darren Ferguson:
OK dad. Will do. I was thinking the defence was a disaster but I’ve obviously got a lot to learn. Still think we could do with some new blood though. We’ve been unlucky with injuries when it comes to loanees. Any thoughts?
Reply from Darren Ferguson: Yes dad I do.
Reply from Alex Ferguson:
Well, it’s been a long wait but let’s just say your dad has gone 1-0 up, very late in Fergie time. It’s my little way of reminding you I’m still the boss. Don’t mess with the master, young Darren.
Reply from Alex Ferguson:
Get Eddy Lecygne at Stoke. He’ll work wonders. He’ll be a household name in a couple of years, trust me. He’s all you need. He’ll make goals, score goals, save goals and do the work of ten men.
Reply from Darren Ferguson: Ah, da-a-ad!
Reply from Darren Ferguson:
Further reply from Darren Ferguson:
Thanks dad. You’re the best.
Dad... can I still come for tea on Sunday?
EMAIL CORRESPONDENCE 3. From: Darren Ferguson To: Alex Ferguson
Reply from Alex Ferguson:
Hi Dad, I’m right in the dog doo here dad. 3 points from a possible 30 and we’re falling apart at the seams. I took your advice and shipped out one of the best midfielders this club has ever had, dumped my man mountain central defender, didn’t strengthen the defence in the transfer window and brought in that complete and utter waste of space Eddy Lecygne. If I was the paranoid type I’d be thinking you were deliberately doing me over. LOL.
Aye, of course.
Reply from Darren Ferguson: Will there be jelly?
Reply from Alex Ferguson: Of course son. And ice cream. Lots and lots of ice cream. END OF CORRESPONDENCE 13
JTM
THE BELLES, THE BELLES DONCASTER ROVERS BELLES SUPER LEAGUE SEASON HASN’T GOT OFF TO THE BEST OF STARTS; GLEN WILSON REPORTS Each club plays only sixteen league games in an FA Women’s Super League season. It’s not a lot; no matter how many months the FA stretch it out across. And the problem with short seasons, is that if things start badly, you’ve little time to turn them round.
Though Doncaster shored things up in the second half, they struggled to cope with an energetic pressing Birmingham side, and 2-1 was how it ended. The manner of that defeat meant many, myself included, feared the worst as the Belles travelled to face league leaders Manchester City. Not only unbeaten but unbreached, Nick Cushing’s side had won their opening four games without conceding a goal, and sadly the Belles failed to prevent City extending that record for a fifth game.
That’s the problem facing Doncaster Rovers Belles right now; three games into their return to the top flight. Each of those three games have been lost, and whilst they perhaps wouldn’t have expected to get anything from matches against the League’s two strongest sides - Chelsea and Manchester City it’s the manner of the defeats that give cause for concern.
Whilst money can’t buy you love, it can buy you a lot of experience and talent in the women’s game and City showed all of that as they marched into a fivegoal lead before half-time. The Belles, as they had at Birmingham, struggled to retain the ball and build any sort of meaningful possession as the home side gave them a torrid time. Mercifully for the Belles, City added only one more after the break, but you sensed they’d long taken their foot off the gas.
After losing their opening league game 4-1 to Chelsea at the Keepmoat Stadium in March the noises from the Belles squad and management was of lessons learned as they got ready for two back-to-back away games either side of the May Bank Holiday weekend. First up were Birmingham City in Solihull, and despite taking the lead through Natasha Dowie five minutes in, the Belles were given a torrid evening by the Blues who were 2-1 ahead by the break and perhaps should’ve been further in front.
So three defeats from three, and each arguably more disappointing than the last. The Belles now have a three week break to try and regroup and refocus ahead of facing Arsenal at the Keepmoat on 21 May.
GW
DONCASTER ROVERS BELLES - SUMMER HOME FIXTURES
Sat 21 May Sat 30 July Thu 11 Aug TBC
6:30pm 6:30pm 7:45pm TBC
Home Home Home Home
vs Arsenal vs Birmingham City vs Manchester City vs Sunderland 14
FA WSL 1 FA WSL 1 FA WSL 1 Continental Cup
THE SHIRT LOCKER ROB JOHNSON HAS HIS (SWEARY) SAY ON THAT NEW AWAY KIT Whilst loathe to criticise the club, it is also our job as fans to hold them accountable when they do something wrong. To offer guidance when making a genuine mistake and sadly, on this occasion, call out those that work for the club for continued and unacceptable mismanagement.
The reason why people on low income pay to watch players who increasingly don’t seem to care. The reason why many people volunteer their time to help the club they love. This competition would have given one of our actual fans an experience to cherish for the rest of their life. Instead we’ve been sold down the river for a little bit of exposure that, if anything, is just a fucking embarrassment to the club and the fans.
For anyone living under a rock, Rovers latest ‘fuck you’, to the very fans that keep the club afloat, is again related to Louis Tomlinson. A man who should be nothing more than a shrug in human form. Following his cringe-inducing ‘signing’ for us a few seasons back, and failed takeover bid, the latest indignity for fans to suffer is Rovers choosing Tomlinson’s entry in a ‘competition’ to design the new away strip.
To make matters even worse the timing of this clusterfuck couldn’t possibly be any worse. Rovers are facing relegation having not won for 16 games. Fans are in no mood for a dose of celebrity to once again take centre stage. And, whilst Louis Tomlinson probably has good intentions, to the best of my knowledge he has provided zero financial support and delivered only the kind of exposure fans just aren’t interested in. Why the pathetic, desperate need to shoe-horn him in at every opportunity?
For a supporter, the opportunity to see your Rovers heroes play in a kit you’ve designed is attractive enough, but the additional incentive of a once in a lifetime trip to Thailand could have been an excellent PR exercise for the club as well a heart-warming moment of thanks from club to fan base.
It’s time for the club to start treating fans with the respect they deserve. A social media team that cares more about being a resource for the fans rather than inane ‘banter’ and criticizing their own fans’ fanzine. A football club is not a Twitter account. It is not an Instagram feed. It certainly isn’t something to be fucking pinned on fucking Pinterest. You can shove your vineloops up your arse.
Instead this farce has once again seen the club’s name dragged through the mud. We’ve gone from being the envy of the Football League a few short years ago to a laughing stock, stripped of all dignity and decorum. And for what? 128k Twitter followers? 146k vine loops? That doesn’t mean a fucking thing when you can’t get 5,000 actual fans through the gate to watch an actual game of football. You remember football right? The reason any of us bother to do this.
The football club is its fans, its history and its legacy. Forget that at your peril. 15
RJ
FOLLOWS THE ROVERS WHY HAVE ROVERS NEVER HAD ANY GOOD PLAYERS WITH LONG HAIR? MIKE FOLLOWS EXPLAINS Ask any football fan for a list of top players from the last twenty years and chances are they’ll mention several hirsute gentlemen with a preference for longer locks. Gabriel Batistuta, Zlatan Ibrahimovic, Gareth Bale, Ronaldinho, Zinedine Zidane. Ok, maybe not him. But you get the point. Many a flair player has been seen with an obligatory Alice band or bobble in his barnet. Even David Seaman sported a pony tail for a while; brave for a moustachioed bloke from Rotherham.
Here are just a few examples of the effect in action:
Michele Di Piedi: He had the lot. Exotic sounding name. Experience at a higher level. Mickey Walker bloody loved him. Shame he had all the grace of a break-dancing toddler loaded up on blue pop and Haribo. Curtis Main: Remember when he
signed for us in the James Husband swap deal? He arrived in town looking like he’d come from the smog of Teesside so much as the pages of Norse mythology with flowing blond hair framing his chiselled features. He scored a couple of great goals too but before long the Reverse Samson caught up with him. If only the results of the study had been made public a few weeks earlier, Darren Ferguson would’ve known better than to loan the newly-cropped Main out to a relegation rival.
Now try to think of your favourite longhaired Rovers player. Go make a cup of tea if you want; sleep on it. Chances are you’ll struggle to think of anyone who has made a meaningful contribution to the club with a girly hair do. So, any ideas? ...Carl Swan? ...really? Well, thanks to a ground-breaking study conducted by students on the GNVQ Hair and Meteorological Science course at Doncaster College, the root cause of this strange phenomenon has been uncovered. It’s a mixture of the town’s location in the rain shadow of the Pennines and the methane gas in the myriad underground tunnels left behind by the coal mining industry that leads to this newly-discovered occurrence called the ‘Reverse Samson’. It might sound like a wrestling move but it’s actually the localised climatic condition that leads to players with hair below the collar losing all ability to function with a ball at their feet within days of entering Doncaster.
Tommy Wright: One of the much-
heralded ‘players of a high calibre’ brought into the club through the connections of the Snodin brothers as they started the rebuilding job in 1998. Spent more time on his arse on the Belle Vue turf than the previous season’s protesters.
Darren Brookes: Ok, nowt to do with the reverse Samson, he was just shit. PS. It doesn’t work on Afros. 16
MF
WHAT TYPE OF MOANING BASTARD ARE YOU? ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS ‘YES’ OR ‘NO’ TO DISCOVER JUST HOW MUCH OF A MOANING BASTARD YOU REALLY ARE 1. Has the game gone?
12. Is the atmosphere at the Keepmoat not a patch on Belle Vue?
2. Would you say things have not been the same since John Ryan left?
13. Is the drum in the South Stand annoying?
3. Have you ever phoned in to Praise or Grumble?
14. Are away fans in the North Stand clearly louder than the Black Bank?
4. Have you ever written a letter to the Free Press to complain about a result?
15. Do you complain about attendances?
5. Have you ever vowed to ‘never set foot in that stadium again’? 6. Have you ever told James Coppinger to pull his bloody finger out?
16. Do you think it’s wrong to do cheap ticket offers to try and boost attendances because it’s unfair on season ticket holders?
7. Are you tired of players fannying about with it in midfield?
17. Do you think that Terry Bramall’s problem is ‘he’s just not a football man’?
8. Should they just gerrit’ for’ards? 9. Ever suggested that a player ‘come and sit up here with me’ after they’ve slightly misplaced a pass?
18. Ever been to a Meet the Owners event, kept your mouth shut, then gone on a messageboard afterwards to complain about all the answers given at the event?
10. Ever yelled at a manager to ‘make a change’ without any real idea to what that change should or could be?
19. Ever demanded the board come out and make a statement about something?
11. Do you hate the new home kit?
20. Do you think the board have a ‘lack of ambition?’
DONE? SO HOW DID YOU GET ON? 16-20 ‘Yes’ answers Blimey, you’re a right moaning bastard. You must often wonder why you bloody bother.
10-15 ‘Yes’ answers You can be a right moaning bastard, but you’ll perk up if they stop all this tippet-tappety football.
5-9 ‘Yes’ answers Occasionally you’ll have a moan, but you’ll generally save it for your column in the fanzine. 17
Under 4 ‘Yes’ answers Fancy a job looking after the club’s social media?
WATCHING FROM AFAR EMMA DAWSON IS THE LATEST TO EXPLAIN HOW SHE’S FOUND MEANS TO GET BY IN ROVERS EXILE The two-hour train journey was worth it to watch my beloved Rovers. As well as the local London away games, I must have topped 20 games that season and didn’t feel like I was missing out so much. Regular gatherings in the Coal Hole and meeting fellow Rovers fans to watch our few televised games gave me a sense of a Rovers exile community.
I find myself writing this article at the end of what has been one of my best seasons as a football fan. You may think I’m mad, given the current position of the team – and with relegation looking inevitable as I write this post-Chesterfield. So why has this season been so good? Following recent articles in the fanzine about following Rovers after moving away from Doncaster I thought I’d share my own experience of what has been my fourth season as an exile. In a nutshell, I’ve seen European Football, Premier League football at its best, scrappy League Two football at its worst and followed the FA Cup through a few rounds; and it has been brilliant.
I’ve now graduated from University and am exiled over 200 miles away in Hampshire. A journey home can take anything from three and a half hours to seven hours. The realisation that I wouldn’t be able to simply ‘pop back’ to watch Rovers hit. I needed to do something with my time. There’s only so much listening to Rovers Player one can do without wishing to be there.
After watching Rovers fairly regularly since the age of nine, and having a season ticket for three years, I moved to Sheffield for University in 2011. Despite the short journey, working weekends meant I was only able to make a dozen or so games for two seasons; taking what precious holiday I had for the ‘big’ matches such as Brentford. I found it hard working through the games, and waiting for the regular shoppers to come in and tell me the score was agonising. I wished I was at the Keepmoat. I hated going to work and missing out.
So yes, I’m a fan of Doncaster Rovers, but I am also a fan of football. I won’t give Sky my money, so decided the next best thing to watching Rovers was to go out and watch football. Over the last 13 or so years I have racked up 57 grounds with Rovers with the aim to do the 92, so pursued as many grounds as possible this year. My regular team this year has been Southampton. Regular trips to St. Marys have meant I’ve seen some exciting Premier League football and experience my first taste of the Europa League. I’ve also followed them away for my first visit to the Emirates.
In 2013, I moved to London for my placement year and had the luxury of weekends off. I made the effort to travel to as many games as possible. 18
As a neutral I’ve visited Wycombe Wanderers, Bristol Rovers, Portsmouth, Tottenham Hotspur and Cardiff, with Exeter and Oxford planned before the end of the season. The FA Cup was a particular highlight, following it through a few rounds. I made the trip to Cambridge to see Rovers triumph. At one point I got some stick from my family for choosing a weekend of Eastleigh vs Bolton and Chelsea vs Scunthorpe over the Stoke game. I followed the cup in the next round at Selhurst Park for Crystal Palace vs Stoke. Annoyingly had results in the previous round been different it would have been Rovers vs Southampton!
This brings me to 74 Football League grounds. Having been to 17 new grounds this season, travelling a distance of just over 3,000 miles, I’ve now completed all Championship and League One grounds. So though this season has not been the greatest to be a Rovers fan, watching other teams has given me a much greater perspective of the game and the beauty of it at all levels. There have not been many dull weekends this season; at times I’ve been to two matches over a weekend. With Rovers edging ever closer to relegation, I really hope we stay up. If we don’t, at least this year has made me realise that League Two is not the end of the world and looking on my own bright side, I could probably complete the 92 next season. Being an exile isn’t easy, Rovers have been a huge part of my life growing up, but being able to travel around to new grounds is certainly filling my spare time!
With all these neutral games and following Southampton, I’ve still found the time to see Rovers play 12 times, four at home and eight away, following them to Southend, Gillingham, Swindon, Oldham, Walsall, Cambridge, Burton and Bradford.
ED
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JACK’S CRAIC JACK PEAT ON HOW GROWING UP IN LEEDS MADE HIM A DONCASTER ROVERS FAN Like a Londoners proximity to a rat, you’re never more than 8ft from a Leeds United fan in Doncaster. At least, that was Editor Glen Wilson’s prognosis ahead of our Championship clash in December of 2013, a humbling 3-0 defeat in front of the cameras on a cold Friday night. Not that it mattered greatly. ‘We’re not rivals and we don’t all hate Leeds scum to the tune of Tom Hark. Instead this is about our town against those who shrugged it off.’ Rovers and Leeds have existed largely interdependently over the past century, despite being only 30 miles apart. It seems like an age since Leeds United and Rovers would clash year-on-year, although our short spells of rivalry are not without historical precedence. The two clubs contested twelve games against each other in the old Division Two between 1950 and ’55, but then didn’t play a single game again until League One clashes in 2008 and the seasons which followed (albeit largely thanks to the League Cup). Which is perhaps why spotting Leeds colours in Doncaster is neither problematic nor rare. ‘We have not yet learned to hate Leeds’, Glen argued, because in the many years we spent potting around the lower leagues they were punching their weight in the top climbs.
And as the 659 million Manchester United fans (all from Manchester, naturally) will testify, glory sells. It ain’t easy going Stevenage Borough away on a cold Tuesday night when they can watch United in the Champions League on the box. And they might actually win. So Doncaster lost out on a generation, and who can blame them. But if it’s any consolation, during the height of Leeds United’s success, one family decided to move the other way. Aside from glory, the two more noble excuses to support a football team are family and geographic proximity. Born and bred in South Leeds I grew up in 100 per cent Leeds United territory. My friends were all Leeds fans, my neighbours, the local pub had a Leeds United room and at least three fifths of the local residents had LUFC tattooed somewhere on their skull. But back in those days we couldn’t afford to go to Elland Road, nor did my Dad particularly want to take us there. To him, Leeds United symbolised everything that was wrong with football. Rancid with bigotry and bone-headed thuggish fans it wasn’t an appetising prospect for a father of three young boys, particularly when he was having to fork out 20 notes a piece for the privilege.
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Donny Dog and Scunny Bunny reunited
As a kid in the early 1960s he’d watch Stockport County who at that point were bottom of the Division Four and frequently had to apply for re-election. Spells watching Lincoln City and others led to a mixed bag of adopted teams, but it was ultimately his birthplace and a night with the NonLeague Paper that led us to Rovers, who we have supported as a family ever since and perhaps forever more.
So geographical proximity was out, and I didn’t have much guidance on the family side either. Indeed, if I had my pick of the ‘family’ teams I could well have been either a Tottenham Hotspur or Leicester City fan. I mean, we’re all Leicester City fans, but extensive archive digging shows my family originated in Leicester just before the turn of the century before my Great Great Grandad moved to North East London and chose to support Spurs just as they were making a move into the big time. They were Division Two champions in 191920 and FA Cup winners in 1920-21 when he was aged 22 and there was a Leicester City-esque vibe around Spurs who had won the cup as a nonleague outfit in 1901.
Catching up with my Dad before penning this, he said: ‘What was great for me at Doncaster was that it was more intimate. You could hear all the banter; you would expect daft things to happen like Donny the Dog chasing the Scunny Bunny along the touchline. We were closer into everything.’ Although we had no family or geographic connection with Doncaster - and we certainly weren’t there for the glory - there was an innate connection that transcended those things.
Outside the Premier League’s top two my family football roots get steadily less glamorous. My Dad’s uncle Ron Burge played for Tunbridge Wells in the late 1940s and even played in goal for Chelsea when the blues turned up without a keeper. Chelsea leaked three goals against the home side on that day but the match report attached no blame to Uncle Ron for the goals. As for my old man, the son of a vicar his football allegiance has been, well, varied.
We felt at home stood on the terraces with iron-on Beazer Home sponsored jerseys watching Dover Athletic, Telford United and Leigh RMI visit while Leeds United were entertaining Premier League outfits up the road, and we felt far more comfortable stood in the Main Stand immersed in the jovial banter than we ever would have sat down at Elland Road amid the incessant screams of injustice that has eternally plagued Leeds United. Give me Barry Miller over Rio Ferdinand any day, a Johnston Paint Trophy final over Champions League success hands down. Give me Rovers. Because where some people are born Doncaster fans, I was bred one. Cheers Leeds.
JP
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HOWARD’S MARKS AS ROVERS FACE LIFE IN LEAGUE TWO HOWARD BONNETT UNDERTAKES A PRE-EMPTIVE RECONNAISSANCE ‘Misery loves company That’s what the wise man said Don’t come to me for sympathy If you can’t raise your head Stand up and see What your life could be If you wore a smile instead If you keep misery as your company Then you might as well be dead.’ Madness, 2014
I wondered what had happened to the other 23 teams we played that season. It proved an interesting trot through the leagues (both up and down) and showed how strange and also how predictable football is. Of the 23 teams, Swansea are in the rarefied air of the Premier League. Our friends in Hull and Huddersfield ply their trade in the Championship. Incidentally, the Hull Mail reported recently that Steve Bruce has been offered free chips for life if Hull are promoted back to the Premier League. I haven’t found out if he gets gravy, mushy peas or curry sauce thrown in.
I believe, like many others, in football karma. Sometimes you win, more often than not you lose or draw. But whatever happens, you support your team.
Four teams have reached League One - Bury, Southend, Rochdale and Scunthorpe - and all will remain there next season. We find, unsurprisingly, nine teams in League Two; Yeovil, Mansfield, Northampton, Oxford, Cambridge, Bristol Rovers, Leyton Orient, Carlisle and York. Interestingly, as I write, York City are at the bottom of the League just as they were when we won the title.
As this fanzine goes on sale at the Burton game, with Rovers having one or both feet in League Two, I thought about what life might be like in the fourth tier of English football, and how it may’ve changed since we last played at that level 12 years ago. On the facing page is the final Division Three table from 2003-04; a pleasant stroll down memory lane, when Rovers won games at home (and quite regularly), there wasn’t a huge queue for a pie and your hot chocolate was left lovingly un stirred by the lady in the snack bar so you had a big chocolately lump at the bottom to chew on in the second half of the game. La Dolce Vita.
What should be a lesson to the social media grumblers out there is the fall into non-league which has happened to seven teams; Cheltenham, Macclesfield, Lincoln, Kidderminster and Torquay are in the National League (nee Conference). The league below that houses our old foes Boston and, from next season, Darlington. 22
So more than a quarter of the sides from that last League Two campaign have fallen as low or lower than Rovers did back in 1998. And, Cheltenham aside, none look like returning to the League soon.
Division 3: 2003-04 F ROVERS 1 79 2 Hull City 82 3 Torquay 68 4 Huddersfield 68 5 Mansfield 76 6 Northampton 58 7 Lincoln City 68 8 Yeovil 70 9 Oxford Utd 55 10 Swansea 58 11 Boston Utd 50 12 Bury 54 13 Cambridge U 55 14 Cheltenham 57 15 Bristol Rovers 50 16 Kidderminster 45 17 Southend 51 18 Darlington 53 19 Leyton Orient 48 20 Macclesfield 54 21 Rochdale 49 22 Scunthorpe 69 23 Carlisle 46 24 York 35
To prepare ourselves for what was starting to appear an inevitable life in League Two, I looked at the plight of fellow relegation strugglers York City. I have to confess a vested interest at this point. I have worked in York for the last thirteen years, live eleven miles away and have met thousands of people in the area. Yet, I can only remember meeting one York fan. The rest are mostly Leeds fans. In a city of 80,000 they have a hard core of about 2,500 home supporters. York and the Rovers share interesting parallels. York went out of the League as we celebrated winning the title in 2003-04. They remained in non-league for the next eight seasons until 2012 when they were promoted back into the League through the play-off final, just as Rovers were relegated out of the Championship. As we look destined to share the pain of relegation this year I thought I would explore further.
A 37 44 44 52 62 51 47 57 44 61 54 64 67 71 61 59 63 61 65 69 58 72 69 66
GD PTS +42 92 +38 88 +24 81 +16 81 +14 75 +7 75 +21 74 +13 74 +11 71 -3 59 -4 59 -10 56 -12 56 -14 56 -11 55 -14 55 -12 54 -8 53 -17 53 -15 52 -9 50 -3 49 -23 45 -31 44
In a slightly ironic twist they were to play Portsmouth, who put the nail in our relegation coffin some four years earlier, when they beat us 4-3 at the Keepmoat.
Upon returning to the League in 201213 they just survived in 17th place, the next season they reached the League Two play offs, before falling to 8th in 2014-15, and this season faced a constant battle against relegation, not venturing above 16th position. On 19 April, with Rovers at Chesterfield, I went to Bootham Crescent. My timing was crucial as York were in 23rd position and some eleven points from safety with four games to play. 23
I went to the game hoping York would win and deny Portsmouth another relegation scalp. However, as their earlier meeting this season at Fratton Park had ended with the home team winning 6-0, I was rather pessimistic. I expected York to be relegated that evening. Similarly, the fans accept their fate that York are going down. They had not been good enough over the course of the season. A number of poor decisions in player selection, tactics and management as well as behind-the-scenes issues all contributing to their current plight.
HOWARD’S MARKS
CONTINUED FROM PAGES 22 AND 23 The hope however is that they will not spend the same eight years out of the League that they did last time. This optimism is based on a bit of blind faith but also the parachute payments for falling out of the League are about £700,000 which, when compared to the £40,000 each of their new rivals will receive, gives them an advantage for the first season or two. Also, with York in the process of securing a new stadium, there is the hope that if they can get back into the League then the new ground will provide some buoyancy to that return.
It was also interesting to see ex Rovers Kyle Bennett and Enda Stevens prove capable of being a disappointment when playing for another team. So what have I learned from my trip? The reality is that life in League Two will be tough but not the end of the world. Gates will be smaller, teams will be competitive and there will be less money around. It should be possible to get out of this league without being financed by multi billionaires. Much will depend on good recruitment, support from the fans and good management.
In respect of League Two the picture painted to me by the fans was that there are good and bad teams. Accrington are seen as the benchmark as to what can be done on a tight budget. Fans said that standards of the teams from 2012 to 2016 had not changed a lot. They all thought Rovers would do well in the division and could bounce back up. The York owners are staying put and have publicly showed faith in the manager. There will be a huge clear out of the team to prepare for non-league and in doing so the youth development team is likely to suffer. York have the same problems recruiting decent young local players as Doncaster have had, with other teams such as Hull, Leeds Sheffield and Hull within the catchment area. The game itself was good; fast play, little time on the ball or quality, poor defending, dodgy goalkeeping and officials who couldn’t keep up with the game. Sound familiar?
York City’s relegation is confirmed at Accrington
The main thing I got from my visit to Bootham? It was fun. I wasn’t miserable all night and neither were those around me. And to round things off York beat Portsmouth 3-1. Even though they were relegated the following Saturday when they lost to Accrington Stanley 3-0, for at least one evening, I thought that perhaps there is football karma after all. And if this is karma is with us or against us by the time the final whistle is blown against Burton then always remember – we are Rovers ‘til we die. 24
HB
CONFERENCE CALLS CHRIS KIDD’S RETROSPECT OF CONFERENCE HEROES CONTINUES WITH OH ANDY ANDY, ANDY ANDY ANDY ANDY WARRINGTON Andrew Clifford Warrington, yes Clifford, signed for Rovers in the summer of 1999 from near neighbours York City. Of all the players to have featured in this series, perhaps Warrington is most qualified with four of Rovers’ five Conference seasons under his belt. Surprising though it may be, he was only 23 when he made the move to Rovers despite the Philip Schofield-esque grey hair he sported during his time at Belle Vue.
ANDY WARRINGTON FACT FILE BORN: 10 JUNE, 1976 ROVERS APPEARANCES: ROVERS GOALS:
DEBUT: 14/08/1999 vs FOREST GREEN Warrington saved twice; from the prolific Daryl Clare who was first up for Chester, and from the bumbling Dave Cameron (not that one) who missed the final kick under immense pressure. Warrington had produced a huge performance at a key part of the season; his heroics playing a significant part as Rovers eventually made a return to the Football League.
Andy Warrington went on to make well over 200 appearances for Rovers in all competitions, falling just four games short of 200 league appearances. Though thought of as an ever present in the Rovers side during his time here, he did have some misfortune with injuries. A broken jaw suffered against Southport kept him out for several months of the 2000-01 season and then in September 2005 he suffered a broken leg in that game against Manchester City in the League Cup. It would prove a costly collision, spelling the end of his Rovers career. Looking back, Warrington was a great signing for Rovers; a good shot stopper, competent dealing with aerial balls and communicated well with the defensive line in front of him. His name will be forever synonymous with the second leg of the Conference play-off semi final at Chester. After a fraught 120 minutes the game headed to a penalty shoot-out to determine who would advance to the Britannia Stadium to contest the first ever Conference play-off final.
196 0
The following season Warrington went on to play 46 times, and keep a club record number of clean sheets, as Rovers marched on to claim back to back promotions with the Division Three title. He made a further 39 appearance in League One the season after and remained Rovers’ number one until the injury sustained against Manchester City that brought his Rovers career to an abrupt halt. Andy Warrington was a great servant to Rovers and a key component in the Rovers squad that gained promotion from the Conference before making the step up again and again. He did of course end up playing over 200 times for Rotherham once he’d left Belle Vue, but I think we can let him off that. 25
CJK
THE GARY BRABIN MEMORIAL LOUNGE JAMES McMAHON TRIES TO LOOK AHEAD RATHER THAN OVER HIS SHOULDER I think the reason why this relegation stings so much, is that I feel like it’s taken something from me. Truth is, I’d forgotten about this version of Rovers. I’d forgotten about looking up at the league, and having to explain that ‘no, I don’t follow a Premier League team as well’. I’d forgotten what it feels like to support a team made up of loanees, too scared to forge any fannish relationships for fear that the player will be recalled the following week. I’ve forgotten about places like Barnet and Carlisle. And I really, really don’t want to ever have to go to Crawley again.
I’m writing this column five days before we play Burton, where - unless we score one hundred goals, enter the haunted mountain through the westerly face, brave the dragon who lives at the mountain heart, slay said dragon and bring back its bloody head, planting it at the foot of the mountain; where come summer it will bloom into a grand old oak tree, with spindly branches like elderly witches wrists, that will point through the cackling breeze towards a bright new dawn - Doncaster Rovers will be relegated to League Two. I’m pretty much resigned now to Doncaster Rovers being relegated to League Two. Despite this being our third relegation in five seasons, there’s something about this one that really stings. I think it’s the feeling that the last twelve years and our climb through the leagues has perhaps been for nothing; this relegation takes me back to year zero, to the very dawn of my Rovers fandom; twenty-five years ago, 1989, Division Four. Oh League Two, you’ll always be Division Four to me, no matter how much lippy you smear on your crooked lips. Now I’m older. So much older. Somehow I became a man, and that little boy who’d skid around in the Belle Vue cinder and coo at Steve Harper and his mazy dribbles, he’s gone. There’s a bit of grief in all this for me, to be honest.
He of the mazy dribble; it’s only Steve Harper
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And because let’s face it, looking at this relegation as a wasted twelve years shows a lack of understanding about how life works, let alone football.
See, somewhere in the last three decades, I started to see Rovers as a different club to the one I first came to. We featured earlier on the highlights packages. We paid money for players. We featured much earlier in the pagination of the When Saturday Comes season previews. I got Big Time.
We, more than most clubs I can think of, haven’t shirked life this last decade plus. We’ve experienced cup finals, promotions, last minute title victories. We’ve made heroes, and a few villains too. We’ve lived the life of a pub team, laughing our way through a helium tank stockroom. And we’ve made memories that will never, ever die. And yes we’re back where we started. Yes we basically brought this on ourselves. Yes we might have a manager who may well actually know nothing about setting a team up to defend. But this isn’t where our story ends. We’ll be back. There are many, many adventures still to have.
I even started flirting with another team on the side – largely because, geographically, I spend the lions share of my life some distance from Doncaster, and wanted to watch regular football. Real football. The grassroots stuff. Mud and dubbin. So I picked a little club, a team that then had a couple of leagues between them and Rovers, no threat to them – we’d even recorded thumping victories against them, not a million years ago. They were never supposed to be any threat to my affections, just something to do when I couldn’t go see the Galacticos of Doncaster. That teams name is Leyton Orient, who play in League Two. Next season I’ll have a pretty difficult afternoon at least twice in a season.
I don’t totally subscribe to the euphoria of Leicester’s Premier League victory – there are players in that team I’d struggle to wish success for, let alone admire. But the whole thing has reminded me of the romance that only sport can bring (and given that all sport other than football is crap, what I really mean by sport is football). And here’s a thing; three years ago, I saw Rovers relegated in the cruellest of fashions at The King Power. I heard the Leicester fans sing at us, ‘we’ll never play you again’. I doubt a single soul in that ground thought there’d be this much light between us and them, after such brief a time. But I’m not sure a single soul truly believed we’ll really never play each other again.
I’m writing this column four days after we played Crewe, capitulating to the division’s worst team in a fashion more befitting our South Yorkshire neighbours, the Chuckle Brothers, effectively securing the level of football we’ll play next season. And I’m really trying to look at our demotion in a romantic context. This is football, after all, what other context is there? Because in a sense, it feels like we’re coming home, back to our level. For a team of Rovers, we haven’t half wandered this last decade. And now we have returned, full of stories to share about the many, many adventures we’ve had.
That’s not how football works. It’s not how life works. We’ve come back home. But we’ll be leaving soon enough. 27
JM
VOICE OF THE POP SIDE DOWN WITH THE DECORATIONS. JOHN COYLE ON OTHER SEASONS IN WHICH ROVERS HAVE FALTERED AFTER CHRISTMAS I have probably told you this before, but my first game as a Rovers fan was on Saturday 8 November 1969 when I watched us beat Bristol Rovers 3-1 at Belle Vue. Rovers were flying high, at least by their standards of the preceding decade. They had won the Fourth Division the previous season and had started the campaign well, climbing to second place at one point. That victory I witnessed, along with over 10,000 other fans, kept Rovers handily placed at seventh in Division Three. On my next visit, on Boxing Day, an even bigger crowd saw Rovers concede a last minute goal to lose to local rivals Rotherham United. Little did I know that was to be the start of a run that saw Rovers win one of the next sixteen games and hurtle towards the relegation zone. In fact, the postChristmas slump is hardly a new phenomenon, and although this year’s takes some beating, I have chosen five examples from Rovers long, and not always illustrious, history.
1935-36 Division Two Rovers had enjoyed their first Football League promotion in 1934-35, winning the Third Division North title, and had carried their momentum into the Second Division. On Christmas Day they stood second behind Leicester City, and successive promotions looked a possibility.
Boxing Day saw a 0-0 home draw with Nottingham Forest, although crucially they suffered injuries to half-backs Joe Hall and Fred Emery. Emery soon returned, but Hall played only a handful of games before the end of the season. Rovers lost their next seven games, had a brief revival in early February but then failed to win any of their last 12 matches of the season. Matters were not helped by manager David Menzies’ decision to leave and take a similar post at Hull City, Emery becoming Rovers first ever player-manager. In the end the points accumulated before Christmas ensured Rovers finished 18th, but they were relegated the following season.
1953-54 Division Two A tremendous start to the campaign gave Rovers fans genuine hope that their team might achieve First Division status for the first time in their history. Six wins from the first seven games saw then lead the Division Two table, and a win at Lincoln City on the Saturday before Christmas had them second, again behind Leicester City, going into the festive games. Backto-back defeats to Blackburn Rovers (games were played on Christmas Day and Boxing Day then) started a run that saw Rovers win only two of their remaining 19 games.
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Although they were hindered by injuries to Len Graham and Jackie Teasdale, it is difficult to account for this slump which meant Rovers ended the season in 12th place. A great opportunity had been lost, though.
1988-89 Division Four Experienced manager Dave Mackay had been unable to keep Rovers in Division Three in 1987-88, but hopes were high of promotion, or at least a better season. Although Mackay’s Rovers were inconsistent, they went into the Christmas period in 8th place, touching distance of the play-offs. The festive period was a mixed bag, a draw, a defeat and a win, but thereafter the slump set in. Out of their remaining 24 games Rovers won only four, including two runs of seven games without a win.
1966-67 Division Three It is often tempting to look back at this particular season and think Rovers never had a chance of retaining their hard-won place in the third tier. After winning the Fourth Division Championship in 1965-66, they had suffered tragedy; captain and defensive lynch-pin John Nicholson being killed in a car crash that left talismanic striker Alick Jeffrey badly hurt. The Board, under Chairman Hubert Bates, had then sold top scorer Laurie Sheffield to Norwich City, much to the disgust of supporters.
A rare victory over Darlington in early March proved crucial, as at the end of the season only the Quakers stood between Rovers and relegation to the Vauxhall Conference. The second half of the season was played out to a background of disharmony in dressing room and board room, matters coming to a head when Mackay resigned in March. His assistant, Joe Kinnear, took over but achieved only one win in 12 games. A board room coup saw Kinnear give way to a returning Billy Bremner in the summer.
Despite this, Rovers’ position was far from hopeless when the veteran Jackie Bestall handed over charge of team affairs to newly-appointed player boss Keith Kettleborough in December 1966. Kettleborough won his first two games, against Peterborough United and Grimsby Town, and going into the Christmas programme Rovers were 12th. A 1-4 Boxing Day reverse in the return game at Grimsby was a harbinger of things to come, and Rovers won only three of their remaining 24 games, not picking up a single point away from home, while an already porous defence leaked 64 goals, to finish with a record goals against tally of 117. Rovers finished 23rd, above only Workington, and Kettleborough was relieved of his managerial duties.
2010-11 Championship The one everyone probably remembers: the first half of this season promised to be the best since Sean O’Driscoll took Rovers back into the Second Tier after a 50-year absence. Rovers were third at one point, seventh in November and a last-gasp win over Middlesbrough in mid-December took them to 9th. After a 3-0 win over Scunthorpe United on New Year’s Day, Rovers won just two games out of 24, including a wretched run of seven losses in eight games. 29
VOICE OF THE POP SIDE CONTINUED FROM PAGES 28 AND 29
On the other side of the coin there have been seasons where the second part has very much redeemed the first, and 1968-69, 1974-75, 1991-92, 1998-99 and especially 2008-09 spring to mind. Maybe there is a feature to be written on those years, when far from coming down with the Christmas decorations, Rovers took on fresh impetus after the Festive season.
They did not win at all in the last 12 games of the season, but a combination of points gained earlier in the season and the poor form of those below them meant they finished 21st, five points above the drop zone. A combination of injuries and the loss of form of key players seemed to be at the root of the slump, and some of those brought in to provide injury cover proved not to be up to the job. Rovers’ poor form continued into the following season, and with the run without a win at 19 games, O’Driscoll lost his job. I chose these five seasons in particular, but I could also have included 195758, 1961-62, 1986-87 or even 19992000. All featured a second half of the season that was notably worse than the first. Whatever the outcome, and I write this with two games remaining, this season can certainly be added to the Roll of Dishonour.
As for 1969-70, which was where we came in, there was a happy ending. Rovers won five of their last ten games and ended the season in a respectable 11th, although they were relegated the following season. We live in hope of a similar revival this time, although it is fair to say that the position is a good deal more desperate than it was 46 years ago. At least we can’t say that a dramatic reversal of fortunes in the second half of the season is a new experience for the long-suffering Rovers fan.
JC
THIS ISSUE STEVE IS... ...breathalysing himself; why else would he have chosen Leeds? 30
REMEMBERING THE FIRST TIME CONTINUING OUR POPULAR SERIES ANDY BARLOW REMEMBERS HIS FIRST ROVERS GAME The lush green playing surface being one, it was relatively early in the season, however the well manicured carpet of grass seemed a far cry from our school pitch where I played my football.
As with all things Rovers I approached the writing of this article with the due diligence it deserved. I’d planned on researching who actually played in the game, Rovers’ league position at the time, the attendance, the weather, John Buckley’s pre match meal and so on.
The other was the primitive nature of the toilet facilities. As a young eightyear old I assumed paying money to enter a venue would warrant something more than urinating into a gutter with just a wall to shield me from onlooking eyes - call me a snob but growing up in Hexthorpe does lead to certain refinements.
However, as with all things Rovers, due diligence is followed by inevitable disappointment; in this instance my misplaced faith in the data available on the internet, and my lack of the necessary Rothmans Annual, means I’m having to resort to quite literally remembering the first time.
Main Stand terrace towards the Town End was where we stood, right up against the concrete wall at pitch side. Great for action on that touchline, though anything happening on the far side of the pitch tended to feel a little distant and you were reliant on the Pop Stand crowd for feedback as to what was going on.
Not to worry as there are still some facts that remain lodged in the old grey matter, namely the opponents (Bristol Rovers), the season (198586) and that his majesty Sir Bill of Bremner had recently moved on to pastures new (although not that new, given he was back at Leeds). He’d obviously realised our squad was relegation fodder given the departure of the Snodin brothers. Managerial matters were left in the trusty hands of Dave Cusack who, as well as picking the team, also played and bestrode the defence like some moustachioed colossus.
The actual content of the game fades to grey and I’m sure even Dutch Uncle’s Rothmans Annuals wouldn’t tell you any more than that we lost 2-0 and that Bristol had a man sent off. Revenge was sweet as the next time I can recall seeing the Pirates was at Cardiff in the Millennium Stadium enough said.
Alongside the obvious joy of actually witnessing a live football match two things stick in the memory.
AB
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WAUGH, HUH, YEAH ‘QUAKING IN OUR BOOTS’; DAVE WAUGH VISITS AN OLD RIVAL ON THEIR WAY BACK Darlo’s third time in administration saw them drop to the Northern League and leave their ground. But the club reformed as Darlington 1883 and have won three promotions in four years. I saw the last home game of the season at the awful Heritage Park ground they have shared with Bishop Auckland, which has a pitch with deep hollows and bare patches all over the place. The football was dreadful and though Darlo beat Grantham 2-0, meaning they’d need just a point at Whitby two days later, I was sorry I’d already agreed to join my Darlo-supporting mate at that game. I’m glad I did.
Back in our season horribilis of 199798, I went to Feethams in Darlington to watch our latest drubbing (5-1). The most memorable part of the day was not Prince Moncrief ’s goal, but the raffle at half-time to determine which Quakers fan would have the privilege of pressing the detonator to demolish the main stand. The event was, I hasten to add, to take place on another day and there was no question of a mass, panicky evacuation! The ex-safecracker, George Reynolds, who had (for a while, at least) gone straight and made millions out of selling kitchen worktops, had taken over Darlington and was going to build them a new stand. He was true to his word and soon went a step further and built them a new ground; a 27000-seater on the edge of town which never attracted more than 11,000 to a match.
Whitby’s ground was packed with 1,800 fans, virtually all of them supporting the visitors, and on a beautiful spring evening, after pints and fish and chips in the harbour area, we enjoyed some slick passing and a goal feast as Darlo went 3-0 up in nine minutes. It was 6-0 at half-time and I mentioned to the guys I’d been chatting with that the last time I was at a game involving Darlington when the score was 6-0 at half-time, Rovers went on to beat them 10-0. The final score at Whitby was 7-1 and there was a memorable announcement over the tannoy as the game drew to a close and fans spilled over the fences, forcing the referee to halt the game briefly: ‘Please do not come onto the pitch at the end of the match. Although if you all decide you’re going to, I’ve no idea how we’ll stop you!’
I went there in the season Darlo were relegated from League Two and it was beautiful. The club was in administration and there were no staff so we entered the main stand via a luxurious office suite and boardroom, went to washrooms which would have looked at home at the Ritz, and sat in padded seats to watch a 2-2 draw with York, whose fans, like ours at Blackpool this season, demonstrated an admirable solidarity with the home fans and held aloft a huge banner proclaiming F*ck Modern Football. 32
I’ve had a soft spot for Darlo ever since that January day in 1964 when we put ten past them. It was one of Alick Jeffrey’s first games after his comeback and he didn’t score, but he made up for it on the next two occasions they visited Belle Vue, both of which finished 6-3 to Rovers. When we played each other in 1968, with the teams 1st and 2nd in the Fourth Division, 22,000 packed Belle Vue expecting another big score, but Darlo won 1-0 and most of them probably never came back again.
CEDRIC EVINA
In Asda, just off Bawtry Road, making a bee-line for the Ben & Jerry’s; he looked to be having trouble deciding between Cookie Dough and Strawberry Cheesecake. @Louis_Bailey_
DAVID BLUNT
Wearing a horrible winter jacket that looked like a 1990s goalkeeper kit, on the same Easyjet flight as me from Leeds to Geneva after the Shrewsbury game. @MJ_Lethal
Now there’s a possibility we’ll play each other again – it could be the season after next, if we continue to slide as they rise! But if we do meet, it won’t be at a proper ground with atmosphere like Feethams, where you waled round a cricket ground to enter the stands, or at the former Reynolds Arena. Next season Darlo are back in Darlington, sharing a rugby ground, which they hope to bring up to National League standards quickly. Ironically, the Darlington Arena is now home to Mowden Park Rugby Club.
LEO FORTUNE-WEST
Playing football at the Keepmoat on a Thursday night @Louis_Bailey_
THORSTEN STUCKMANN
A few weeks ago at Cusworth Park, although my mate told me he’s got a twin brother so it might’ve been him instead. @EVERLA5TING_ARM
Darlington’s resurrection and rapid progress is far from unique. Newport, Accrington, Wimbledon and others have done similar things, thanks to the passion of supporters who weren’t prepared to let their teams die.
PAUL KEEGAN
In the jacuzzi with me at Nuffield Health Centre; looked at me a bit suspiciously and got out. @ChrisDonald92
It’s worth remembering just how far some clubs have sunk, as we contemplate a possible relegation to a division where we’ll have the best ground and enough financial clout to make a swift return.
DW
LEO FORTUNE-WEST
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On Printing Office Street, smoking a fag, railway station bound. @DarrenBurkeSYN
FROM BENEATH THE STATUE GLEN WILSON ON WHY FOOTBALL IS MORE ENJOYABLE WHEN THERE’S NO MONEY ON IT I don’t watch football matches on television. If I had to say why, I think it’s because of paralysing sense of paranoia it causes me knowing that the game is only ever one corner kick away from summoning the colossal green floating head of an omnipotent Ray Winstone urging me to ‘Bet in play naaa’. Betting advertising is now as common to football as the throw-in, yet through the general fug of its blokey banter, one slogan sticks in my mind. ‘It matters more when there’s money on it’. I don’t know which of these grim reapers of steady finance it belongs too, but it gets me because if there’s anything football needs less of, it’s more worth being attached to it. On Monday night BBC News relegated news on a milestone breakthrough in breast cancer treatment beneath Leicester City’s title win. Five minutes interviewing pissed up people in a pub desperately trying to cover up old Liverpool tattoos with ‘Fox-ing Champions’ t-shirts before a quick thirty seconds on something that could save hundreds of thousands of lives. The more football matters, the less it can be enjoyed. Go on, think of Rovers biggest games, and tell me, hand on heart, that you enjoyed every moment of them. You can’t. You can’t, because gut-wrenching, body-numbing nerves are not meant to be enjoyed.
My Uncle spent the second leg of the Conference play-off semi-final at Chester sat behind a Rovers fan who spent the entire second half nervously vomiting. That’s not a fun way to spend an afternoon. Instead, to really enjoy football, you need go to games that don’t matter in the slightest and absorb yourself in them. Invariably these matches won’t involve your team, because actually caring dampens the fun. Imagine if you’d been a neutral fan last Saturday, watching Cedric Evina trying and inevitably failing to trap a ball with his chest on the edge of his own sixyard box. Imagine how much more that could’ve been enjoyed if viewed only in the context of the cartoon slapstick it so clearly was. Heaven. Exiled down south and unwilling to cough up extortionate train fares north every weekend this is what my Saturdays have become; trawling London and its environs for football to enjoy rather than endure. And beyond familiar trips to join the rabble of Dulwich Hamlet and the Scaffold Brigada of Clapton FC, here’s just three reasons why I do it.
Hertford Town 3-0 Tring Athletic
Though I enjoy the escapism of watching football alone; there is no substitute for watching with friends. A mini-Wales away reunion in the Hertfordshire commuter-belt. 34
A ramshackle old ground; a welcoming clubhouse bar, a couple of great goals for the home team all boosted by my friend Mark’s decision to make his two girls – aged eight and ten – not mascots, but match sponsors. Any club that is happy to let two young children sit down in their boardroom alongside the usual stiffs that are non-league committeemen, and help themselves to mince-pies and tea and to hell with what they think is alright in my book. Football as it should be, lapped up by two of the biggest Wales fans around; and their dad and his mates.
Whyteleafe 1-1 Three Bridges
Having spent many Saturdays on Tube trains and buses criss-crossing London’s over-priced metropolis I decided to take a different approach in late January and head south instead of north. Forty minute and a world away from popular STAND towers is Whyteleafe in the rolling greenery of the Surrey commuter-belt. It’s an unlikely setting for football – a gymkhana maybe – but certainly not what turned out to be the most enjoyable football match I’ve seen all season. A good-natured to-and-fro of a game which swung from end to end and was only prevented from reaching double-figures apiece by a brilliant goalkeeping display for the visitors’ two goal-line clearances; the woodwork (twice), and general striking ineptitude. The icing on this enjoyable cake were the Whyteleafe ‘Ultras’; a group of a dozen blokes the wrong side of forty who spent the afternoon chanting in-jokes and singing a medley of songs with the word ‘love’ substituted for ‘Leafe’ (Nine days on I found myself humming ‘All you need is ‘Leafe’ in the lift at work).
Lewisham Borough 1-1 AC London
Lewisham are my local team; they’re also the worst tenth tier team I’ve ever witnessed, playing in an athletics stadium without any stands, where the only decent vantage point of the pitch is from a footbridge over the railway outside. But this year, I’ve grown to love the fact they’re as close by as they are awful, and the only reason I don’t go more often is because I’m fearful that if I do I’d find myself offering to help out in some way. For now though I can just watch, revel and enjoy; watch players try and second guess a pitch surface that has more in common with bubble-wrap than a lawn. Revel in the frustration of opposition players as they fail to breakdown a side that have won only half a dozen games… across two seasons. And enjoy the absurdity of this corner of London I call home; as the sun comes out and the most unlikely of equalisers is cheered by three old groundhoppers, a passing Rasta on a bicycle, a drunk bloke who’s been watching and chanting from the railway bridge, and, before I realise what I’m doing, by me.
And, perhaps most tellingly, my Golden Goal tickets – for 72 and 84 minutes – had been rendered obsolete by a goal ten minutes in. Had I not been freed from the constricting need for a goalless first half so soon in, then there’s no way this could’ve been as enjoyable an afternoon. So have that the autonomous head of a RADA trained token cockney geezer. In your big floating face. Football really is enjoyed more when there’s no money on it at all. That’s the power of, the power of ‘Leafe. 35
GW
WINDMILLS OF YOUR MIND BORN IN SWANSEA, RAISED IN DONCASTER; DUTCH UNCLE ON HOW HIS TWO TOWNS HAVE FARED IN FOOTBALLING OPPOSITION I have particularly strong memories of the two matches in the 1966-67 season. After winning Division 4 in 1966 hopes were high for a good season in the third tier, but early success was totally derailed by the car crash which tragically took the life of club captain and defensive lynchpin John Nicholson, and put Alick Jeffrey out of action for several months. However, led by the goals of Laurie Sheffield, Rovers were mid-table when they beat Swansea 4-1 at Belle Vue on 5 November; our largest win against them. Then Sheffield was controversially sold to Norwich - scoring a hat-trick in his first game for them – and Rovers fell apart, especially away from home, losing all of their remaining 18 away games.
So how have Swansea, where I was born, and Doncaster, where I was raised, fared against each other on a football pitch? Well we’ve met 60 times in the Football League; Rovers winning 21 times, Swansea 22. We’ve also faced each other once in the FA Cup; a 3rd round tie at Belle Vue in 1968, which Rovers lost 2-0, missing out on the chance to host Arsenal in the next round. Those League meetings are split neatly into four eras; the first was Rovers’ brief two season spell in Division 2 in the 1930s, which brought two draws at Belle Vue and a win apiece at the Vetch Field. The second era would be when Rovers returned to the second flight in the 1950s; playing eight seasons under Peter Doherty. Rovers faired better across the 16 meetings with the Swans, winning eight and drawing one.
The fireworks of 5 November were replaced by Rovers making total April fools of themselves in the return match; I was there as we lost 6-0 to a poor Swansea side who would also be relegated that season. Indeed Rovers were so bad my family, who I’d been visiting, didn’t even have the heart to take the mick.
The next era is a much broader one; stretching from 1966-67 to 1997-98. Bar the occasional promotion, Rovers were largely a fourth tier side in this period, as too were Swansea; save for their quick rise up to the top flight between flight for two seasons in 198183. The two sides met 26 times over these years; Rovers winning eight, and Swansea ten. Finally, following our return to the Football League in 2003, Rovers and Swansea have met 14 times with each side winning four matches each.
The culmination of the 2002-03 season was an exciting time. On 3 May 2003, just as Rovers, buoyed by Tristram Whitman’s late goal against Chester, were preparing for the second leg of the nerve-wracking Conference play-off semi-final, Swansea City faced a crucial last match of their own League season. 36
Anything less than a win against Hull City would mean relegation to the Conference. I was looking at the possibility of my beloved Rovers playing Swansea again - but was yet to know if it would be in the League or the Conference. The two teams might even swap places. I’ve often said Rovers win over Dagenham and Redbridge was the most important in the club’s history. Without it we would never have had the chance of our glorious days at Cardiff, Wembley, Brentford and so many Championship grounds. But that day must’ve been even more dramatic for Swansea who, after falling behind in the first half, eventually won 4-2. Without that win over Hull how on earth would the Swans have climbed to the Premier League, won the League Cup and played in Europe?
Beyond these are five players who can be categorised as important, heroes even, at both clubs. The most recent is Jason Price, who made 114 appearances for Rovers, scoring 23 goals, having previously made 144 league appearances for Swansea, for whom he also scored 20 goals. Before him we have Dave Penney who made 119 appearances for Rovers prior to his back-to-back promotions as a manager. Though he joined Doncaster from Cardiff, Penney had previously been at Swansea, making 131 league appearances for City. Before Penney, in the 1980s, full-back Dave Rushbury made 66 appearances in the league for Rovers, following an earlier 51 game spell at Swansea. And in the 1970s there was Les Chappell who signed for Rovers after seemingly always scoring against us for Reading. Chappell made 58 league appearances for Rovers, scoring 11 goals, a few less than the 67 appearances he would go on to make for Swansea, before joining the Swans’ coaching staff.
Finally, of course there are many players who have played for both clubs. I have found 19, but I am sure there must be several more. Six were minor or fringe players for both sides; Jamie Barnwell-Edinboro, Steve Brodie, Clive Freeman, David Moss, Paul L Williams and lastly Tommy Tynan whose 254 league goals included a solitary one for Doncaster and just two for Swansea.
The other player, and the one who made the most combined appearances for both clubs, is oddly seldom remembered by Rovers fans – this despite 122 league appearances for Doncaster. His name? Pat Lally, who also played 160 times for Swansea where he is much more fondly remembered.
Two players were minor contributors for Rovers but much greater figures at Swansea, namely John Cornforth, who scored eight goals and made 149 league appearances for Swansea, and Adebayo Akinfenwa, who scored 21 goals for Swansea, but is certainly a great figure wherever he’s played. Conversely five players can be considered more major contributors for Rovers than Swansea, namely Graham Brown, David Cotterill, Bobby Owen, Brian Stead and Mark Wilson.
The eagle eyed among you will notice I have mentioned only 18 players above. Well the 19th player to have played for both Rovers and Swansea is actually still playing at one of them. So, as a quiz question – who is he? (Quiz answer on page 38) 37
BW
MEMORABLE MEMORABILIA DARREN BURKE IS THE LATEST SUPPORTER TO SHARE HIS FAVOURITE ROVERS MEMORABILIA WITH US The treasured memorabilia of other Rovers fans probably fall into similar camps - shirts, scarves, programmes. Not me, I have something that’s a genuine piece of Doncaster history and that’s a bit of Belle Vue.
(I should add that this was before the gas blast that rendered Belle Vue unsafe and saw it sealed off). Both of us had exactly the same thought. Here was a chance to keep a bit of Belle Vue forever. We both pocketed a piece.
Gathering dust on a stack of CDs in my bedroom is a small piece of concrete, about two inches wide and three inches long. It is crumbling at the edges and the red paint crudely slapped across it is peeling away. But while our former ground slowly disappears to make way for new housing, a significant chunk will always live on. It comes from the players’ tunnel which I stood alongside from my first proper supporting days circa 1987 (although my first match was 1981).
For many years, my dad used to carry his in his coat pocket to games at the Keepmoat. Mine has stayed firmly on the shelf, largely forgotten. But I glance on it occasionally and get mistyeyed, thinking back to that December day in 2006 when I walked away from the old girl with tears rolling down my face having watched Theo Streete bring down the curtain with that bizarre goal to defeat Nottingham Forest 1-0. It is probably silently giving me a fatal dose of asbestosis but it will always be there, reminding me of some of those days back at Belle Vue - some amazing, some average and some downright bloody awful. Sadly, my other footballing souvenir, a chunk of turf from the Goldstone Ground, swiped when Brighton beat Rovers in the very last game there in 1997, disappeared when my dad decided to pave over his garden. But I’ll always have my Belle Vue memory.
Following the closure of Belle Vue in 2006, in my line of work, I was tasked to return to the ground to pen a farewell piece to the abandoned stadium. My dad accompanied me on a breezy January afternoon as we solemnly crept around the eerie stands which had once echoed to the roars and cheers of thousands of fans. As we made our way to the Main Stand terrace, we noticed a small pile of red rubble scattered on the ground. It seemed someone had taken a hammer to the bricks of the tunnel, even though Rovers had only vacated the ground a few weeks previously.
DB
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DUTCH UNCLE’S TEASER ANSWER Nathan Tyson: made 11 appearances and scored his first ever league goal for Swansea during a loan spell from Reading in 2001-02.