popular STAND 61

ISSUE 61

EDITORIAL Friends, Rovers, Doncastrians, Welcome to another issue of popular STAND and let me begin if I may with a brief quotation;

“In trying to stay competitive we made decisions that resulted in a loss of identity and fans losing faith in us.”

There! There it is right there! Mark the date because at last, it would seem that someone at the club only bloody gets it. For the first time since the miserable mediocrity of last season a member of the club’s board has spoken and said, without condition, without hesitation or deviation, that the policy, nee the experiment, was a big mistake.

The announcement is tempered somewhat by the fact that the man making it, Chief Executive Gavin Baldwin, had bugger all to do with the omnishambles of 2011-12, but I suspect that is likely to be as good as we are going to get. Up until now it has been the “didn’t work as

well as expected”, “didn’t quite work” pandering, of men who want to keep hold of friendships, no matter how undesirable those friends may appear. But finally, someone has had the mettle to stand up and acknowledge that the experiment failed, and that it failed not because of relegation, but because it “resulted in a loss of identity and fans losing faith in us.”

And as one of those loss losing fans let me now, in the wake of this statement say two thing.

Firstly, thank you Mr Baldwin. And secondly, I bloody told you so!

Now I don’t want to be seen to be gloating in our club’s downfall, because I don’t. I take no pleasure in what has happened at Rovers in the past fourteen months, and I take no glee in how much the club has slid in my affections as a result. But, for all the crap, for all the abuse, for all the public ridicule I faced, for daring to suggest way back in September that the McKay experiment was flawed and would undo all the good work the club had done in establishing a positive reputation over a decade, I bloody well told you so!

ISSUE 61 // CONTENTS 06. Previously at the Rovers 10. What Are They Talking About?

13. Easy For Dennis 14. Voice of the Pop Side 17. Half-Time Teasers 18. Blowing My Own Trumpet

20. Windmills of Your Mind 24. Secret Lives of the Rovers 26. To Lindum And Back 28. At the Coalface; Towers 30. Mystic Mike’s Horroscopes 32. Seasons in Retrospect

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That nice Mr Baldwin

attendances not being what they should be.” That was one. Another suggested my opinions “ do the club more harm than the things you are upset about.” My opinion. The opinion of one fan was apparently more harmful to a club than Willie McKay and an operating plan scribbled on the back of a fag packet.

It would be nice if Mr Baldwin’s statement paved the way for a few other apologies. Perhaps the people who made the decisions Mr Baldwin alludes to will step up and acknowledge their short-sightedness. Perhaps the prominent board member who had his legal team look over the content of Viva Rovers on a regular basis would like to apologise.

Maybe, the former director of the VSC will say sorry for dismissing the concerns raised by fans about those decisions made (concerns which were subsequently born out), as “nothing more than self gratification”. Maybe Mr McKay would like to apologise for swinging for one of our writers.

Yes, I am going over old ground here, and yes, we should be looking forwards, but if Rovers are looking to wipe the slate clean and go again then I shall too. Because a year ago I took all manner of flak for suggesting exactly what Mr Baldwin’s statement has confirmed.

“He is trying to split the fans and is one of the causes for our

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That’s what it boiled down to.

I wrote about how I felt about Rovers, as I had always done.

But because the path the club taken had split the support, how I felt didn’t necessarily match how others felt. And as a result I was set apart as some sort of benchmark of dissent by people who should have known better, and chipped away at with abuse until I couldn’t give a shit about a club I’d trudged across the country for every Saturday for a decade. Eight games. That’s all I’ve seen Rovers play in the last twelve months, because after the events of last season that’s all I’ve felt like being at.

What is pleasing, is that unlike many supporters who post on messageboards Gavin Baldwin recognises that it is the club that needs to earn back the trust of me, and other fans who lost faith in the club. At least whilst others are dismissing folk who have stopped attending games by saying they have turned their back on the club, people at the club acknowledge that this is not strictly the case.

Slowly, for me, thanks to the work being done by people like Mr Baldwin, and also by Liam Scully and his team on the Community side, the warmth I used to feel

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towards the Rovers is returning.

There are good, honest people at the club’s very core, people who want Rovers to be a thriving community club. Similarly, I have a hell of a lot more faith in the VSC now than I did a year ago, and should imagine I’m not the only one who feels that way. The future of the club off the field is increasingly brighter, especially now that someone has finally underlined and identified the failings of the past.

So that’s that off my chest. Now you have in your hand, a piece of paper, or more specifically, nine pieces of paper, folded and stapled together.

Thank you as ever for purchasing a copy of the ‘zine and ensuring that popular STAND continues to exisit as an independent publication.

The fanzine continues to sell very well at matches, which is always good news as the more we sell, the less I have to lug back up to the North Yorkshire coast with me. I do have a few copies left of Issues 57 and 60, so if you missed out on either get in touch via the email address on the inside cover and I’ll happily get one out to you.

I am indebted as ever to our fantastic contributors and also the patience of Dave the Printer, without whom you’d have nowt to read during those long attackless spells of our home form.

MARTIN WOODS

Standing outside Barclays in town, freshly waxed and tanned.

spotter: Steve Yardley

ANDY GRIFFIN

Asking me for directions to Cantley Park the day before he was announced as a signing, but didn’t realise it was him at the time.

spotter: @DarrenBurkeDFP

ROBBIE BLAKE

Spotted by my lad in the O2 shop in Harrogate. Lad was wearing his Rovers shirt, Blake passed him on his way out and smiled.

spotter: @AndrewThackwray

KYLE BENNETT

With Gary Madine at the dry-cleaners in Meadowhall. Kyle in jeans and a t-shirt, Gary in a dodgy 70s Liverpool style two-piece blue tracksuit.

Very best of wishes to all of you for Christmas and the New Year.

Enjoy the fanzine and the game.

Viva Rovers.

GW popularSTAND // ISSUE 61 // DECEMBER 2012

spotter: @Reedy1905

JAN BUDTZ

Ordering a Grand Mocha at Doncaster College. Refrained from tucking into the flapjack selection

spotter: @BenThompson84

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PREVIOUSLY AT THE ROVERS Time to emerge blinking from the hole in the ground you’ve been living in for the past month or so and catch up with what you missed courtesy of popular STAND's regular diary feature.

Saturday 6th October

Rovers 1-0 Shrewsbury Town

A Billy Paynter penalty two minutes in is enough to win a fairly lacklustre fixture that is devoid on genuine chances at either end. One of the most enjoyable highlights comes midway through the first half as Shelton Martis controls a ball effortlessly on his chest with his first touch, then slices it effortlessly out the stadium with his second.

It encapsulated so much in so few touches.

Sunday 7th October

The season ends on an encouraging note for the Doncaster Rovers Belles as they win their final match of the season at Liverpool 2-0 to avoid the wooden spoon.

Tuesday 9th October

Rovers 1-0 Chesterfield

One for the fanzine correspondents as Rovers youth team graduate Jordan Ball scores the winner with his first touch in professional football after coming on as a late substitute. Following Ball’s goal the fanzine asks via twitter; When will the first ‘Saunders: I told you youngsters would get their chance’ story appear? Our answer proved to be about 35 hours before the Star gushed: ‘Saunders Keeps His Promise’; “The Welshman declared

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on his appointment last September that one of his priorities would be bringing young players at the club through to first team level and said he looked forward to a time when the club’s first-team regularly contained a sprinkling of homegrown talent. He has proved to be a man of his word.” Yep, that’s right Saunders has thrown a youngster into a match in the early rounds of a cup when other more senior players weren’t at his disposal, thus apparently proving a statement made a full year ago. Well done Mr Hossack. Another scoop.

Saturday 13th October Hartlepool 1-1 Rovers

Rovers come from behind to draw at Hartlepool as a late Rob Jones header (as if he’d ever use his feet for anything) cancels out Neil Austin’s penalty struck twenty minutes from time. A relatively decent away point though is somewhat forgotten in the postmatch coverage as a scuffle in the away end has many supporters and the local press predicting some sort of hooligan led apocalypse. Whilst certainly not ‘a return to the dark days of the 80s’ as was muted on a forum, the altercation amongst Rovers fans in the stand was a very unsavoury incident that led to a small number of supporters being

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ejected. A further blow to the reputation of Rovers’ travelling support; first someone in a Chimbonda shirt, now this.

Wednesday 17th October

Rovers are fined £20,000 by the FA for “a failure to ensure its players and/or officials conducted themselves in an orderly fashion and/or refrained from provocative behaviour” following the Championship fixture at Elland Road in February. The FA enquiry had been delayed as they had to wait for West Yorkshire Police to finish their own investigation into the incident. That there was two enquiries somewhat contradicts Rovers initial stance on this matter which was “there was no incident”.

Leeds are reportedly fined £5,000 more, so every cloud…

Saturday 20th October Rovers 2-1 Brentford

Defence is the new form of attack.

Or something like that. Anyway Rovers are thoroughly outplayed by the visitors (Liam Holden; Free Press actually, before you chuck your ‘negativity’ accusations my way) and yet somehow score twice and take all three points. Second half goals from David Cotterill and Billy Paynter give Rovers the win and supporters messageboards swing back towards promotion based excitement.

Monday 22nd October

Rovers ban five supporters in the wake of the scuffle at Hartlepool.

A club statement lurched wildly between second and third tenses to proclaim; “Doncaster Rovers Football Club has acted swiftly in imposing lengthy bans on a number of individuals who were involved in disorderly behaviour at the recent

match at Hartlepool… Club officials are determined to create a welcoming atmosphere which encourages supporters to attend matches in the knowledge that they can enjoy a match in safe and enjoyable surroundings. The club will not hesitate to take appropriate action against any individual who is found to display behaviour of a nature which brings discredit to the club and its many loyal supporters.”

So there you go. Behave, or else things will start getting appropriate.

Tuesday 23rd October Tranmere 1-2 Rovers

Smash smash smash, grab grab grab. Another win gained by virtue of sneaking goals back from secret night time raids into the home side’s half as the league leaders are toppled on their own turf. Billy ‘the house’ Paynter put Rovers ahead early on, and after Tranmere struck a late equaliser Iain Hume nicked it for Donny on a last minute break, a moment only tainted by his refusal to celebrate. Who cares how many years you had there, you’ve just scored the a last minute winner away at the league leaders, go batshit crazy man. “It was like the Alamo,” said Saunders afterwards, heaping special praise on Gary Woods for the resilient Adobe monastery he had constructed in his six yard box.

Saturday 27th October Notts County 0-2 Rovers

Another away game against a side vying for promotion, another win to send forums into ‘we are going up, break out the bunting, it’s our year, yes sir-ee bob, you better believe it’ raptures. Second half goals from Paul Keegan (yeah, Paul Keegan) and Chris Brown do the damage in an impressive second half display.

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PREVIOUSLY AT THE ROVERS // CONTINUED Saturday 3rd November

Rovers 3-1 Bradford Park Ave

The magic of the FA Cup fails to cast much of a spell over the Doncaster public, as despite £10 entrance and pay on the gate options there are still great swathes of empty seats in the Keepmoat Stadium. The game itself is fairly even, particularly in the first half with the only notable difference between the two sides being Rovers clinical nature in front of goal as Martin Woods and Iain Hume give Rovers a 2-0 half-time lead. After the break Park Avenue had reason to get excited as Richard Marshall’s excellent curling strike reduced the deficit, but Chris Brown doesn’t go in for parties, well, not since that video, and so he headed home to secure a relatively routine 3-1 win.

Rovers so ineffectual? Of course that question is somewhat rhetorical as the problem is clear; Rovers are set up to defend solidly and go at teams on the counter. A tactic which works well away at attack minded teams, but not so much at home against teams employing exactly the same approach. Trust me. I watched John Toshack’s Wales team regularly. I’ve seen this play out far too often. The concern is that one day soon we’ll be sat in the Keepmoat watching to groups of men camped in their respective areas whilst the ball sits untroubled on the centre-spot. The tedium of home games is continuing to create an odd situation though, where Rovers’ away form keeps them up the table, but their home form makes every game feel like an end of season mid-table dirge. In short…

Rovers need to learn how to play at home.

Monday 12th November

The certainties for promotion are now a collection of show-ponies who can’t be arsed to put an effort in, let alone challenge for promotion.

I’m paraphrasing obviously, but not inaccurately. Lauri Dalla Valle and Mathias Pogba scoring the goals for Crewe as Rovers continue to look unsure as to how they go about breaking down a team who are using their own tactics against them. At times it’s like watching a kitten spying itself in a mirror.

A bit of a Boardroom Blitz at the Rovers reaches some kind of conclusion. Chief Executive Gavin Baldwin formally joined the board of Patienceform, the holding company of Doncaster Rovers on 30th October, according to Companies House. However, since then Stuart Highfield has left the board, which means that, following the termination of appointments of Peter Hepworth, Mike Collett and former chairman Trevor Milton in the past five months and Dick Watson and Terry Bramall stepping down the board of directors now stands at only two; Baldwin and Ryan.

Saturday 10th November

Thursday 15th November

Tuesday 6th November Rovers 0-1 Crewe Alex.

Rovers 0-2 Bournemouth

Woe is us. What is it about the Keepmoat Stadium that renders

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A fundraiser at the Keepmoat Stadium raised over £10,000 for the Luey Jacob Sharp Foundation, set popularSTAND // ISSUE 61 // DECEMBER 2012

up by Billy Sharp and his partner in memory of their baby son. In an auction at the event Ian Snodin successfully purchased Alick Jeffrey’s England under-23 cap, Ian had to pay £1,300 to secure the cap. Reports suggest he was pushed all the way by agent Willie McKay, who was prepared to offer £2,000 a week for the cap in an effort to up its value and entice future foreign bidders. Probably.

EVANs WaTCH!

because you have to keep an eye on him.

Saturday 17th November Portsmouth 0-1 Rovers

We were away. Of course we won.

And it’s always a satisfying feeling, knowing that your club has helped to shut up that pillock with a bell.

That your determination to hang on following a first half goal from Iain Hume has ensured that the amateur campanologist has had to trudge home despondent beneath his oversized hat.

Tuesday 20th November Carlisle United 1-3 Rovers

Just before the fanzine went off to be lavishly printed on the highest grade paper a £1 sales market can buy, Rovers notched up another win, away, naturally. Trying their luck at the other end of the country following Saturday’s win on the South Coast Rovers brushed aside Carlisle like a Cumbrian flood washes over Cockermouth road bridges. Rob Jones opened the scoring as one of the many thousands of things he headers on a daily basis happened to be a David Cotterill corner. Cotterill scored one himself before setting up Tommy Spurr in the second half to wrap up the win. Jones went off with concussion at half-time, but is expected to play on Saturday telling reporters; “Me Jones. Me play football. Me header good”.

GW

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Steve is currently...

Identifying buses. This is one.

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WHAT ARE THEY TALKING ABOUT? Ever wondered what the rest of the division thinks about Rovers?

No? Well never mind, it was only really a rhetorical question asked for the purposes of this intro. Still, whether you like it or not, here’s Jack the Miner’s summary of how League One fans see us I’ve met a few Orient fans down the years and found them to be knowledgeable and generous. One congratulated us on our re-birth after ‘the 8-0’, another said well done on our win there on our first day back in the Football League and the third was effusive in his praise about the way in which we were playing the game during the Championship stay. So it was a bit of a surprise to see these comments on the Orient forums,

‘I just knew we would struggle.

Never do well against teams with big lumps’...‘We came up against a team of big lumps and had no idea how to play them’ ...they ‘just hoofed it up route one to their big men’ Well, goal number one came from a Cotterill ball played along the deck for a pass inside to 5 foot 7 inch Iain Hume and goal two came from an Orient clearance of a cross from Kyle Bennett (5 foot 5 inches) which was hit home by the 5 foot 9 inch David Cotterill. Not sure why these Orient fans thought they’d be demolished by an army of barrelchested giants.

Down Preston way the North End fans were delighted with their win at our expense, in what most felt would be a difficult game against a team in form. But, their enjoyment

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of the win and their decent start to the season is tainted by their dislike of Graham Westley.

‘Just one big ******* whinge.

Westley embarrasses himself, and the club every now and again. I’ll brush it off, because I’ve got used to it. It comes with the territory’... ‘He needs to show some ******* class for once in his life’...‘I don’t own up to being a North End fan these days. I just close my eyes and hope I’ll wake up one day and find he’s gone.’

And immediately following the win at the Keepmoat there was this gem.

‘S**t, ands b******s I suppose this means we‘re stuck with this piggy eyed **** now.’

Things must be bad.

Shrewsbury’s visit made a number of their fans happy despite their defeat,

‘So £29 for me and my lad to see the match at Doncaster in a stadium that offered excellent facilities and an unrestricted view of a superb playing surface from a comfortable seat.’...‘Nice to be back in Donny and see their new stadium.’

That’s more evidence that a stay in the Conference seems to inject a bit

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of humility into the supporters of Football League teams who spend time there – distinctly different from those newbies such as Rushden, Boston, Stevenage etc who arrive like arrogant cocky wide boys in a cheap shiny suit.

The Brentford contingent had very little to say about their 2-1 loss at the Keepmoat. They were probably too shocked and stunned to air their views in cyberspace but you had to feel for this bloke...

‘Seven hour round trip, made difficult by a broken shoe lace and on getting there found I’d left my coat at home, watched freezing half to death as we got mugged in a game we never looked like losing, got home late because of an accident on Chiswick High Road and ate lukewarm fish and chips watching a recording of Strictly only to find that Victoria Pendleton is a really crap dancer.’

The Tranmere fans took their home defeat about as well as their manager Ronnie who described Rovers as the weakest side Tranmere had played all season.

That would be the same Rovers side who a week later were one win away from top spot. No sour grapes there then.

‘Doncaster on the whole were disappointingly poor compared to a lot of other teams we’ve played so far’...‘We were mugged tonight, no doubt about it. We were by far the better team and deserved all 3 points but our atrocious defending let us down again. Every time the ball fell in the box it either landed at one of their players or was blocked by one of their players.... I thought they were average at best, they spent the majority of the game camped in their half...’

There was one voice of reason in the Birkenhead wilderness ... ‘Got to give Donny some credit. It was their defending that meant we didn’t really create too many clear cut chances for all the pressure/ possession. Yes they got a bit lucky, but they could have had another goal or two as well.’

For a surprising number of Notts County supporters the main topic of conversation was the anger they felt at their club for allowing visiting supporters

Ronnie Moore: somewhat underwhelmed with Donny.

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make the best of all the cash they are throwing around.

WHAT ARE THEY TALKING ABOUT? // CONTINUED into the ground with a drum. Why should the away team be given that sort of advantage? Surely this plays into the hands of the visitors? Meadow Lane should be a hostile fortress but letting visitors bring a drum in makes it a home from home....Those Notts County fans able to put aside their disgust over the Percussiongate scandal regurgitated Ronnie Moore’s script after our victory and decided that Rovers were a poor outfit. Many were critical of Keith Curle, his tactics and County’s own failings.

Some however were able to give Rovers some credit.

‘They were better than us across the pitch and deserved to win’...‘If we played away from home against a top six side and prevented them from creating a single chance and we managed to score twice we would have been saying how amazing we were.’

Yes. True. But we did have a drum.

So that was a bit like playing with twelve men. Come to think of it Paul Mayfield took a drum to Dover the day we won 3-1 back in 1999, so we’ve got previous. Presumably the FA will investigate. There could be a hefty fine or a points deduction.

This isn’t going to go away. I hope our drummer is proud of himself and frankly you think Paul Mayfield would know better.

No drum gripes from Bournemouth who are all in cloud cuckoo land now they have Eddie Howe back to

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‘We played well, it was a clean game, neither side really threatened too much but 1-0 felt comfortable for most of the 2nd half. Could have played another hour without them scoring.’

‘Game of few clear cut chances, good run then left foot strike from after went in off the post, James was mostly untroubled apart from a few shots straight at him in the last 15minutes, but above all the stand out aspect of today was the work rate, our quick closing down made them brick it time and again and we either nicked the ball or forced them into rushed clearances and unforced errors’ In truth – one penalty shout aside – you can’t really argue with that but I have an issue with one bitter individual who said,

‘Loved it. Donny Rovers, that’s what you get for stealing SO’D. Waited a long time to give them a good dicking.’

Well mate, what we got for ‘stealing’ SO’D was a trophy win at the Millennium Stadium, a play-off victory at Wembley, four seasons in the Championship and the admiration of the rest of the football world for the quality of our football.

And in the same period of time Bournemouth went bust twice. You must be very proud. And since when is one-nil a good dicking?

Good job they didn’t bring a drum or we might have been on the end of a serious two-nil humiliation.

JTM

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Hi, I’m Dennis Peacock, and I’m here to talk to you about the General Theory of Relativity. Sounds complex right?

Don’t worry, it’s... Easy for Dennis.

Now, you don’t need to be an ex lower division goalkeeper to appreciate how Einstein’s Theory of General Relativity permanently altered the way we look at the universe.

Na then, Einstein’s major breakthrough wa’ to say that space and time are not absolutes and that gravity is not simply a force applied to an object or mass. Rather, the gravity associated with any mass, curves the very space and time, or as its often known space-time, around it.

To conceptualize this duck, imagine you’re traveling across the Earth in a straight line, heading east, starting somewhere in the Northern Hemisphere, preferably just outside Lincoln. After a while, if someone were to pinpoint your position on a map, you’d actually be both east and far south of your original position. More Boston than Horncastle. That’s because right, the Earth is curved. To travel directly east, you’d have to take into account the shape of the Earth and angle yourself slightly north, as if you were adapting to a deflected long-ranger.

Space is pretty much the same really mate. For example, to the occupants of the shuttle orbiting the Earth, it can look like they’re traveling on a straight line through space. In reality, the space-time around them is being curved by the Earth’s gravity (as it would be with any large object with immense gravity such as a planet or a black hole, or Aiden Butterworth), causing them to both move forward and to appear to orbit the Earth.

I tell you, Einstein’s theory had tremendous implications for the future of astrophysics and cosmology, not to mention a great effect on me growing up in Lincoln. It explained a minor, unexpected anomaly in Mercury’s orbit, showed how starlight bends, laid the theoretical foundations for black holes, and got me into a right old argument with Tony Philliben about the trajectory of his back-passes. But I’ll save that story for another time.

Anyway. told you it was Easy for Dennis. Until next issue. Ta ra. popularSTAND // ISSUE 61 // DECEMBER 2012

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VOICE OF THE POP SIDE John Coyle looks back at a tournament that often represented Rovers’ best chance of silverware; the Sheffield & Hallamshire County Cup I started supporting Doncaster Rovers in the autumn of 1969, not long after we won the Division Four Championship under Lawrie McMenemy. The years that followed were hardly trophy-laden and for a long time I had to admit that Rovers had lifted only one cup during my tenure as a fan. That came on 7th May 1976, when Rovers beat Sheffield United 2-1 at Bramall Lane to win the County Cup. That trophy, not to be confused with the Senior Challenge Cup for which Rovers competed in during their Conference years (and won it twice), is now a relic of a bygone era, but it provided some memorable local derbies in an era where the football calendar seemed at least to be less crowded than it is today.

The Sheffield & Hallamshire Football Association County Cup, to give it its full title, was conceived at a meeting of the S&H FA in August 1920. It followed the example of similar competitions being run in Lancashire and the West Riding in which the ‘senior clubs’ from the county were invited to play.

By ‘senior clubs’ they meant those in the Football League - Sheffield United, Wednesday, Barnsley and one of the Football League’s recent additions, Rotherham County.

The aim was to raise funds for the Association. Four teams meant two

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semi-finals and a final, the original plan being that the games be played in May, at the conclusion of the regular football season.

In May 1921, having squeezed past Barnsley in a replayed semifinal, Sheffield United beat their neighbours at Hillsborough in front of 20,000 people to become the first winners of the County Cup. The competition was all completed within a week, and the County FA must have thought they were onto a winner.

In 1923, the Sheffield FA’s ‘senior clubs’ increased to five when Rovers were elected to Division Three North of the Football League.

However, the newcomers were not invited to participate in the County Cup and when they applied to join the party in 1925 they were rebuffed. A year later Rovers were accepted, but they were forced to play a preliminary round against Rotherham (now United) who must have been equally delighted by their treatment! The Rovers’ first County Cup game took place at Millmoor on 27th September 1926 and although Tom Keetley put the visitors in front they ended up losing by the odd goal in three. Rovers had little joy in these early years, and when Rotherham were excluded in 193031 due to an administrative error, Rovers were seen off at Oakwell in the semi-final.

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By 1932 the County FA decided that the competition needed shaking up, as attendances were falling, especially for games that did not pit the two Sheffield sides together. It was resolved that Wednesday and United alone would compete for the County Cup, with the other clubs relegated to an Invitation Cup. Rovers and Barnsley were “invited” and after a 2-2 draw at Belle Vue, Barnsley won the replay at Oakwell to be the only winners of the Invitation Cup. The 1932-33 “final” at Bramall Lane, won by United, had drawn a disappointing crowd, so the Sheffield FA reverted to a five-team format and now adopted an open draw for the preliminary round.

The new format suited Rovers and in 1934 they reached the final for the first time, losing 3-0 to Wednesday at Hillsborough after a thrilling replay victory over Sheffield United. The crowd of 4,832 that saw goals by Ronnie Dodd and Stan Burton give Rovers a 2-1 extra time win over the Blades was higher than that for the final.

Two years later Rovers won the Cup for the first time. Having beaten

Barnsley 3-0 in the semi-final at Belle Vue in November 1935, they won the final at the same venue in May 1936, overcoming Sheffield United 2-1 with both goals coming from Reg Baines. In May 1938 Rovers won the cup for the second time, Mick Killouhry’s goal being enough to overcome Barnsley at Belle Vue. The County Cup enjoyed something of a revival during and after World War Two. During the latter it was played over two legs, games sometimes doubling up as Regional League fixtures. Rovers won the Cup in 1940-41, beating Rotherham 3-2. The post-war boom saw the County Cup’s largest attendance, 49,980 witnessing an all-Sheffield semi final in 1948-49. However, attendances soon tailed away again.

When Rovers won the Cup for the fourth time in May 1956, only 3.048

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VOICE OF THE POP SIDE // CONTINUED saw them spank Sheffield United 4-0 in the Final at Belle Vue (Ronnie Walker (2), Johnny Mooney and Alick Jeffrey were the scorers). Falling gates and other football competitions (from 1960 the Football League Cup was introduced) meant that for three seasons the Cup was not contested and from 1963 Sheffield Wednesday agreed to pay an annual fee to the S&H FA rather than competing in the Cup. The competition was clearly in decline, but it still had its moments. Not least in 1965 when in a replayed semi-final at Belle Vue Rovers were trailing 0-2 to Rotherham with a few minutes left.

Keith Ripley, normally a defender, was sent forward and scored twice to send the game into extra time.

He then completed a hat-trick from the penalty spot to win the tie.

Over 11,000 turned up a week later for the final, but Rovers lost 0-4 to Sheffield United. In the 196768 competition Rovers reached the final which was held over until the following season and in October 1968 Roger Barrett’s goal gave them a 1-0 win over Barnsley. Rovers’ skipper Stuart Robertson was handed a Cup, but it was the Senior Challenge Cup as the County Cup had gone missing! It was eventually found but Rovers were not to receive it again until May 1976 when two goals from Peter Kitchen secured victory over a Sheffield United side just relegated from the First Division.

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The County Cup continued to be played until the early 1990s, although increasingly teams chose to pay a fee to the Association rather than participate. For 198586 Rovers and Rotherham elected to play rather than pay and the “Final” was played as a curtainraiser to the following season, Rovers winning 1-0 via a Neil Woods goal. That was Rovers last success in the competition, though they did have the honour of participating in the last-ever final at Oakwell in May 1993. Despite a spirited showing, Rovers lost 3-2 to their higher-division opponents, meaning that Barnsley remain “holders” of the County Cup. While it is unlikely that the County Cup will ever be revived in its old form, such is the proliferation of other competitions, it is worth noting that in the pre-season period this year Rovers met Barnsley, Sheffield Wednesday and Rotherham. With a little coordination it might be possible to set up a pre-season “mini-league” involving all five local Football League clubs and reintroduce the Cup. It might give the pre-season game the edge they sometimes lack and increase public interest.

For the record, Rovers won the County Cup seven times, including the wartime win in 1940-41, some way behind Sheffield United’s 21 triumphs. It would be nice to be given another chance to catch the Blades up - assuming the County FA can find the trophy, that is.

* The Sheffield & Hallamshire FA County Cup by Andrew Kirkham (SoccerData, 2011, ISBN 978-1905891-49-8.)

JC

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POP STAND’S GREAT BIG FAT FOOTBALL FUN QUIZ OF CHRISTMAS JOY TIME As this is in effect our Christmas issue (no, really, it is) we thought we’d do one of those big end of the year quizes, the sort that Channel 4 do to pad out their schedule. So we’ve penned our ultimate football quiz for you to have a bash at. Good luck!

1. Which club’s ground is nearest to the river Mersey?

2. Who is the only player to have played in North East derby, north London derby, Merseyside derby and Manchester derby?

3. What links the following players; Francis Benali, Dan Petrescu, Dave Morley, Lars Bohinen, Peter Fear and Mark Crossley?

4. Who kept goal for Manchester United in Europe one season and then scored the winner for Newcastle at Wembley the following season?

5. Sunderland did it in 1979, Villa in 1981, but whilst they were scoring winning FA Cup goals who was the reining King of Sweden?

6. When was the white ball first introduced?

7. Why do some teams have triangular corner flags as opposed to the more traditional square ones?

8. Who am I? I was born into a family. I joined my first junior club when I was a child. I moved into the adult game when I was older and have made numerous appearances and scored several goals. I plied my trade in red, white and blue amongst other colours, before finally retiring when I was older.

9. In 1987 Trevor Steven. True or false?

10. You’re watching a match at Stark’s Park. The home team are in dark blue, the visitors are in red and yellow. How did you get hold of a copy of this fanzine?

11. How many steps is a goalkeeper permitted to take, before he can leave his alcoholics anonymous programme?

12. Which Welshman?

13. The first League Champions were Preston North End, but which club am I thinking of?

ANSWERS AVAILABLE BELOW - CAREFUL, THEY’RE UPSIDE DOWN 1. Stockport County, 2. Paul Stewart, 3. They all feature in question 3 of this quiz, 4. The Honey Monster in some late 90s adverts for Sugar Puffs, 5.

Carl XVI Gustaf, 6. At about five to three just in time for kick-off, 7. They’re showing off, flash gets, 8. Ian Snodin, 9. True, 10. Well... how did you? We’re waiting, come on, spill, its your own time you’re wasting, 11. It is generally accepted to be a five step programme though some referees will insist on a six second rule. 12. David Phillips, 13. Brechin City popularSTAND // ISSUE 61 // DECEMBER 2012

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BLOWING MY OWN TRUMPET There are many blights on the modern game, here editor Glen Wilson takes one of them to task.

Life for clubs in the Football League is not easy. For one you are regularly othered and belittled for having the temerity to exist outside the Premier League’s cash strewn bubble. You strive for years to be a self-sufficient community club in the third tier, only for bellends in Home Counties pubs to turn from Sky’s Live Stupendous Sunday and ask “so what division are you in again, the Conference?” These recurring digs hurt, but there lurks a more menacing presence out there; a self-serving entity of much greater threat to your credibility.

Each and every Saturday, from August through to May, a nation waits nervously. From Torquay to Carlisle, seventy-two sets of football fans, ourselves included, all on edge, uneasy, wary of the very real prospect that this time it could be us. This Saturday could be the day that our town is chosen, that he will be unleashed upon us. We cannot avoid him, we cannot prevent him; our only chance of escape from his clutches is the hope that if we stand very still for long enough he may not see us. But the threat remains.

And the nervousness persists, because the reality is that one day, whether we like it or not, ‘Clem’ will arrive at our ground.

‘Clem’ is the Football League Show’s self-proclaimed office joker. He’s the guy in the wacky tie. The one with

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Yackety Sax as his ring-tone. The bloke who goes all out for Children in Need and waxes his legs while dressed as Jimmy Savile. He’s the guy who spends each and every December with mistletoe hooked through his belt buckle.

And, understandably the people in the Football League Show office tired of him. Fed up of him yelling “Wasssuuuuupp” every time they phoned the office, they cunningly created a roving reporter role, pushed him out the door, waved him off and forced him upon the nation.

So now it is us, the people, who are stuck with his over-familiar brand of music teacher mateyness. In the beginning at least we could be safe in the knowledge that his Potted History pieces were pre-recorded.

Only through very unfortunate timing could you find yourself in the vicinity as he popped up amongst stadium seats and peered out from behind the mowers of groundsmen as if he’d somehow escaped from the hand of Matthew Corbett to read extracts from the club’s Wikipedia entry to camera.

But now that item has been cut, and instead Clem has been set free to walk amongst us, to approach us and attempt to engage with us in what he presumes to be our language. Everyone is a mate, explayers are ‘legends’, players have great ‘tekkers’ and score ‘worldys’.

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Whenever I hear ‘Clem’ speaking football I’m always put in mind of Arthur Bostrom’s Officer Crabtree in Allo Allo. Like Crabtree’s French, Clem’s ‘banter’ may do enough to convince those in power he’s the real thing, but the rest of us can’t believe he’s getting away with it.

I have never, and will never, trust a man who facilitates his own nickname. Perhaps I’d have more time from Clem if he hated how his real name has been deemed superfluous by producers, and he stubbornly referred to himself by whatever the hell his actual name is, visibly grinding his teeth every time Manish introduced him as Clem. But he doesn’t. He remains Clem by his choosing and his insistence. And therefore Clem is the kid at school trying too hard to be cool, hanging on the edge of the incrowd; laughing a bit too hard at the other kids’ jokes. In Clem lies the crux of the failings of football on television, in that he endeavours so earnestly to please it ultimately disappoints.

Of course there is nothing wrong with enthusiasm for the Football League, especially as it helps dissuade often portrayed notion of it being simply a place where Premier League clubs cease to be; like when Eastenders characters move to Manchester. But Clem’s enthusiasm is too often misplaced, and so comes across instead as the sort of faux-jocularity displayed by someone you vaguely know as they lead up to asking for a favour; “Here he is… Gaffer, the Gaffer, eh? Look at you, check the suit out. How you settling in? Yeah… hey, look… mate… you couldn’t give us a hand shifting this wardrobe could you?”

Inevitable ‘Clem meets his fan club’ caption

Eating a pie on the halfway line as the teams come out behind him; finishing a piece to camera by handing the referee the matchball, zip-lining from a floodlight as to trail his segment. Perhaps he is simply trying to hold our attention in the small hours, and that’s why he roams free like a mauve clad Jim Henson creation gone sentient.

Who knows, but gone midnight on a Saturday we don’t want interaction, or 45 degree camera angles, we just want goals.

In his earnestness Clem is a living embodiment of The Texan from Joseph Heller’s Catch-22 ; a man so happy and good-natured that ultimately no-one can stand him.

And so every weekend Clem will pack up his things - microphone, zany prop, collection of jumpers which never stray more than one shade from the Blush section of the Dulux colour chart – and arrive in a new town to share new moments with new people, much like the Littlest Hobo , that is if instead of being a cute dog, the Littlest Hobo was a c**t.

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WINDMILLS OF YOUR MIND SNAKES & LADDERS & SERPENTS Our resident statistician Dutch Uncle looks at the Football League’s big fallers and climbers.

We are currently plying our football trade in the third tier out of four in the English Football League. This configuration of four tiers above so called ‘non-league’ football (surely a confusing term since there are plenty of ‘leagues’ below the fourth tier) has been in existence since the 1958-59 season. From the 1921-22 season until 1957-58 there were two parallel regionalised Third divisions; North and South. Rovers, having been relegated from Division 2 in 195758 were thus inaugural members of the Third Division (now after two re-brandings called Football League Division 1!).

Thanks to the never-ending snakes and ladders game of promotion and relegation no fewer than 35 clubs have played in all 4 Divisions/ Tiers (although in some cases the appearances in the higher divisions were before 1958-9). Four of these 35 clubs are currently playing in the Premier League, namely Fulham, Reading, Swansea and Wigan, while others like Grimsby and Luton (more about them later) are less fortunate and are currently playing in the Football Conference. There is one club who have played in all the four top levels of English football (albeit relegated from Division 1 to Division 2 as far back as 1920-21) who are playing even lower in the Conference North… Step forward (or is that backward?) Bradford Park Avenue. It is not just any old ‘non-league’ team

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we faced in the first round of the Cup this year, and against whom we often choose to play against in pre-season friendly matches and to whom we choose to loan out our promising youngsters - for many years Avenue could properly look down upon us, and indeed when Avenue were last in the top flight we ourselves were playing non-league football in the Midland League. How fortunes can change.

One club of those 35 has arguably been even less fortunate than Bradford Park Avenue - namely Wimbledon. With their club franchised 70 miles away to Milton Keynes their supporters started afresh at the bottom of the nonleague pyramid and have reached tier 4, now called the Football League Division 2. What a fairy-tale it would become if they ever climbed to the Premier League and emulated the first Wimbledon club who were one of only three non-league clubs (post 1958-9) to progress via promotions through all four leagues to reach the top tier - the other two being Oxford and Wigan.

The 35 clubs can be divided into fallers (slipping from tier 1 to tier 4) and climbers (rising from tier 4 to tier 1). Some fallers have subsequently climbed all the way back, while some climbers have later fallen all the way down again. Two clubs, namely Luton and Notts

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County, have fallen 3 levels, climbed back all 3 and then fallen back all 3 again. Only one club, Swansea, have climbed up 3, fallen all the way back Level 1 to 4 Blackpool Bolton Bradford PA Brentford Bristol City Burnley Bury Cardiff Fulham Grimsby Huddersfield Leyton Orient Luton (1) Oldham Notts County (1) Portsmouth Preston NE Sheffield Utd Swansea (2) Wolves

FALLERS

L1 to L2 1970-71 1979-80 1920-21 1946-47 1979-80 1975-76 1928-29 1961-62 1967-68 1947-48 1971-72 1962-63 1959-60 1922-23 1925-26 1958-59 1960-61 1975-76 1982-83 1983-84

L2 to L3 1977-78 1982-83 1921-22 1953-54 1980-81 1979-80 1956-57 1974-75 1968-69 1950-51 1972-73 1965-66 1962-63 1934-35 1929-30 1960-61 1969-70 1978-79 1983-84 1984-85

L3 to L4 Total Years 1980-81 11 1986-87 8 1957-58 31 1961-62 16 1981-82 3 1984-85 10 1970-71 36 1985-86 25 1993-94 27 1967-68 21 1974-75 4 1984-85 23 1964-65 6 1957-58 29 1958-59 27 1977-78 20 1984-85 25 1980-81 6 1985-86 4 1985-86 3

and climbed all the way back again.

The tables below show the timescales for all the 35 fallers and climbers: CLIMBING BACK

L4 to L3 1984-85 1987-88

L3 to L2 2003-04 1992-93

L2 to L1 Total Years Comments 2009-10 10 40 years total journey 1994-95 8 16 years total journey

1996-97

1998-99

2000-01

5

34 years total journey Rel to Conf in 2009-10

1967-68 1970-71 1970-71 1979-80

1969-70 1973-74 1972-73 1982-83

1973-74 1990-91 1980-81 1986-87

7 21 11 8

15 62 49 29

1981-82 2004-05 1987-88

1983-84 2007-08 1988-89

1989-90 2010-11 2002-03

9 7 16

15 years total journey 29 years total journey 20 years total journey

years years years years

total total total total

journey journey journey journey

Notes: (a) Promotions and Relegations shown above (and below) are the first in the timescale concerned, e.g. Blackpool were promoted from L4 to L3 in 1984-5, but also in 1991-2 and 2000-1. (b) Total years are counted as seasons played, so in some cases wartime calendar years are not included. (c) Bristol City and Wolves were relegated in three successive seasons, the quickest demises.

Level 4 to 1 Barnsley Bradford City Brighton Carlisle Coventry Crystal Palace Hull Luton (2) Millwall Northampton Oxford Notts County (2) Reading Swansea(1) Swindon Watford Wigan Wimbledon

CLIMBERS

L4 to L3 1978-79 1981-82 1964-65 1963-64 1958-59 1960-61 2003-04 1967-68 1964-65 1960-61 1964-65 1970-71 1983-84 1977-78 1985-86 1977-78 1981-82 1982-83

L3 to L2 1980-81 1984-85 1971-72 1964-65 1963-64 1963-64 2004-05 1969-70 1965-66 1962-63 1967-68 1972-73 1985-86 1978-79 1986-87 1978-79 2002-03 1983-84

L2 to L1 1996-97 1998-99 1978-79 1973-74 1966-67 1968-69 2007-08 1973-74 1987-88 1964-65 1984-85 1980-81 2005-06 1980-81 1992-93 1981-82 2004-05 1985-86

Total Yrs 19 18 15 11 9 9 5 7 24 5 21 11 23 4 8 5 24 4

FALLING BACK

L1 to L2

L2 to L3

L3 to L4

2000-01 1982-83 1974-75

2003-04 1986-87 1976-77

2006-07 1995-96 1986-87

7 14 13

26 years total journey 32 years total journey 24yrs total / Conf in 2003-04

1991-92

1995-96

2000-01

10

34 yrs total / Conf in 2008-09

1965-66 1987-88 1983-84

1966-67 1993-94 1984-85

1968-69 2000-01 1996-97

4 14 14

9 years total journey 37yrs total Conf in 2005-06 27 years total journey

1982-83 1993-94

1983-84 1994-95 1999-00

1985-86 2005-06

4 13

9 years total journey 21 years total journey

1999-00

2003-4

2005-6

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Swansea and Wimbledon have achieved the most rapid rise of three levels, both being promoted 3 times within 4 seasons. Northampton and Swansea have experienced the most

Total Yrs Comments

24yrs total - MK from 04-05

rapid total rise and subsequent total fall, taking 9 seasons in both cases.

From the first table Sheffield United and Luton experienced the most rapid fall and rise, in their case

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WINDMILLS OF YOUR MIND // CONTINUED lasting 15 seasons. On the other hand Oldham took 62 seasons to regain their top level status, whilst Oxford took 37 seasons to return to level 4, followed by a return to the Conference another 5 years later.

Now the above has not really had much to do with Rovers since we have never played in top league. However we have experienced a recent rise of 3 levels via three promotions from the Conference to Championship.

As mentioned in a previous article in popular STAND issue 57, we are one of only two teams to achieve this; the other being Colchester. The Essex side took fifteen years to make their steady progression to tier two, so Doncaster’s equivalent rise in six seasons ensures that Rovers are the quickest ever to achieve this feat.

Crawley or Stevenage would beat that if they were to be promoted this season.

Automatic promotion from the Conference to the Football League was introduced in 1986-87, and this has created the current situation of requiring three promotions to reach tier 2. Prior to 1987 clubs wishing to join the League had to be generous with their Christmas presents and then rely on being voted in by the current League members (more on this later as well).

So from 1958-59 until 198687, following the change from a regionalised third tier to the introduction of Divisions Three and Four, one election and two

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promotions were required to reach tier 2 from non-league. During this period only six teams succeeded in this triple elevation, namely Hereford (took 5 years from 19721976), Oxford (7 years), Wimbledon (8 years), Cambridge (9 years), Wigan (26 years) and Peterborough (33 years). So since 1958 only Hereford have made the jump from non-league to tier 2 quicker than Rovers’ recent rise. In fact Hereford and Rovers are the quickest to climb from Nonleague to Tier 2 since the 1920’s in the first few years after tier 3 was initially introduced and election and only one promotion was required.

Rovers are currently one of 21 clubs in the Football League who have experienced Conference football since 1986-7, and have thus earned their place in the Football League directly via on field performance rather than election. For the last 4 years, as the only one of those 21 teams playing in tier 2, we have finished the season as the highest placed ex-Conference club. Any repeat of that this season would be a much harder task, and would entail finishing higher than all of Carlisle, Colchester, Crawley, Shrewsbury, Stevenage and our friends from Yeovil.

Finally, a tale of divine retribution to rival the death of Tom Dudley from Bubonic plague in 1900. For those of you who don’t know of him he was the senior figure in a renowned trial for cannibalism in the 1880’s. Along with two others he was accused of eating from a cabin boy called Richard Parker when they were all cast adrift on a small lifeboat with apparently no hope of rescue.

Bizarrely, earlier in 1838, Edgar Allan Poe had already written a story in which a sailor called Rcihard Parker meets a similar fate. The

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Wimbledon prepare for their first season in the top flight.

more literary of you will also recognise that Yann Martel recently lifted this name for a castaway in his Booker Prize winning novel The Life of Pi. Intriguingly Tom Dudley was the first person in Australia to die from an unexplained outbreak of Bubonic plague - a disease often seen as an instrument of divine retribution.

In 1979, in an effort to see more non-league teams elected to the Football League, the main regional non-league organisations coordinated and formed a single flagship league at the top of a pyramid - originally called the Football Alliance, later the Conference. The key proposal was that only the champions of the Alliance should apply for election to the league. The election each year was between the bottom four teams of the Football League and, until 1979, any non-league teams which fancied applying. The voters comprised all the current Football League clubs, so unsurprisingly very few votes were cast in favour of nonleague clubs. The new Alliance aimed to avoid splitting these few precious votes. In 1979 Altrincham were the first Champions of the Alliance, but

lost the election by 1 vote (26-25) to Rochdale, the league team with the fewest votes. After the meeting it was discovered that Luton’s delegate had mistaken the time of the meeting and arrived after lunch, too late to vote, and Grimsby’s delegate had gone to the wrong part of the room and did not vote. Both clubs had promised their support to Altrincham. No Alliance club was ever voted into the Football League, and it took a renaming to Conference and the Football League agreeing to automatic promotion before Scarborough became the first team to join the league at the expense of Lincoln City in 1987.

The divine retribution on Luton and Grimsby for the above transgressions has been startling, as they are now the only two of the above 35 clubs who have played in the top flight who are now playing in that self same Conference they unwittingly betrayed. I have no idea what Bradford Park Avenue must have done - maybe impeded the building of sufficient lifeboats for the Titanic?

Caveat - no humans have been eaten in the preparation of this article. BW popularSTAND // ISSUE 61 // DECEMBER 2012 23

SECRET LIVES OF THE ROVERS Continuing to lift the lid on what Rovers players past and present have gotten up to in their spare time it’s Mike Follows.

This issue: Tim Ryan; Eco-Warrior

If you read the last issue of popular STAND you’ll already know that Shelton Martis leads a secret double life as a spy. Or if you didn’t read it you know now. Either way, he’s not the only Rovers player with a secret. For Tokyo Tim Shooooot Ryan to use his full name was not only a harder-than-his-slim-buildwould-suggest full back. Oh no. He was also known by road builders and property developers across the country as one of the most notorious environmental anarchists Britain has ever produced.

With his deadly left foot and penchant for shooting from long range, Ryan was a fans’ favourite on the pitch but his never-saydie attitude wasn’t restricted to football. Here at popular STAND we’ve got an exclusive advance copy of Tim’s forthcoming no-holdsbarred autobiography in which he reveals his involvement in anarchic activity whilst plying his trade at Donny.

“The lower league football fans of the early 21st century may have known me as a bit of a mentalist due to my no-nonsense approach to tackling. But they didn’t know how close to the mark they were, because for much of that time I was actually a militant evironmentalist” Says Ryan in the introduction to his hard-hitting,

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and at times, steamily erotic book.

In the summer of 2000, shortly before joining the Rovers from Southport, Tim set up camp on the site of the proposed new dual carriageway section of the A4119 Tonypandy to Cardiff road, bypassing the Royal Glamorgan Hospital. He spent three weeks living in an abandoned badger set and was close to winning his battle with the developers until one balmy July evening.

“I had made myself comfortable for the night under my Spiderman duvet when I heard a rumbling outside the set. My first thought was that it was a digger firing up but when I heard it again, I realised it was the gruff, deep voiced throat clearing of Sir Tom Jones. He poked his head in, suggesting that we nip for a couple of swift jars in Llantrisant and he promised that he’d persuaded Bono to pop down and look after my camp for me. When he dropped me off just after midnight I found that the green, green grass of home had been covered with two feet of steaming tarmac. I swore I’d never trust another Welsh pop star as long as I lived.”

You could be forgiven for thinking that one of the highlights of Tim’s career would be the Conference Play-off final victory of 2003. And it

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was, but perhaps not for the reasons you may imagine, as Tim Reveals:

“One of the highlights of my career was the inaugural Conference play-off final victory of 2003. But perhaps not for the reason you may imagine. I put in a lovely left-wing cross for the opening goal, but the thing that made me really cross was the scar on the landscape being created by the roadworks on the A500 through Stoke. I nipped off straight after the game and managed to disable a whole fleet of Bomag road rollers.

I was just setting up camp when Cerys Matthews from Catatonia pulled over to ask for directions and offered to take me for a bag of chips

up Hanley Duck. Reassured by her promises that Tommy Scott out of Space would take care of things at my Mother Earth peace camp, I accepted her offer. Needless to say, I was left catatonic with rage when I returned to find a seven foot Heras fence patrolled by guard dogs when I got back.”

Tim Ryan will be selling copies of his book, Saving the World At My Feet out of the back of his Hummer H2 at Oldcotes car boot most Sundays.

Next Issue: The Editor of this publication sets another implausible story for me to concoct.

MF

episode 7: the case of the miraculous conception “I’ve spoken to the virgin Mary and she tells me that she was impregnated by God himself… and I believe her. My investigations are still on going”

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TO LINDUM AND BACK Whatever happened to Rushden & Diamonds?

Chris Kidd looks at the fortunes of the team who were once considered our big Divisional revivals Back in the heady days of 2000 Doncaster Rovers fans used to treat games against Rushden & Diamonds like they have the fixtures with Leeds, Wolves or Newcastle United in the last two seasons. They were the big draw in the Conference and boasted good players, a Chairman with plenty of money, and a stadium that was out of this world for hosting fifth tier football matches, with a capacity of 6,441 of which 4,641 are seated.

In the 1999/2000 season Rushden & Diamonds missed out on promotion to the Football League having finished second, some nine points behind Kidderminster Harriers, whilst Rovers finished twelfth.

The very next season they were promoted finishing six points ahead of Yeovil, whilst Rovers improved on the previous season finishing eighth.

In the 1998/99 season, Rovers first in the Conference and a season where Carl Alford apparently scored 26 league goals, there were two extra games against the Diamonds in the F.A Cup; after the original tie was drawn 0-0 at Belle Vue the replay was won by R&D 4-2. It is also worth noting that at both fixtures crowds in excess of 5,300 were in attendance. In the League games Rovers again fared well, drawing 0-0 at home and victorious

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3-1 away from home. In Diamonds promotion winning season the two clubs again proved hard to separate as Rovers won 3-2 at Belle Vue and drew 0-0 at Nene Park.

So whatever happened to the Diamonds? Formed in 1992 as the result of a merger between Irthlingborough Diamonds and Rushden Town, after Max Griggs of Dr. Martens footwear fame bought both clubs and instigated the whole thing, Rushden & Diamonds were promoted to the Conference after just four years as a club. In the 2000/01 season they reached the Football League and in their first season in Division Three they reached the play off final only to lose to Cheltenham at the Millennium Stadium. They quickly picked themselves up and in 2003 won the Division by narrowly beating Hartlepool on the last day of the season.

Only eleven years on from when the club was established they were playing in the third tier of English football and sure enough it proved to be a move too far. The Manager of seven years, Brian Talbot left the club in March 2004 but relegation was already a firm possibility and was confirmed as they went on to lose their last three games of the season. Ernie Tippett was made the new Manager for the start of the

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A full home terrace at Nene Park during more prosperous times for Rushden & Diamonds

2004/05 season and the club were expected to be promotion contenders, however they soon plummeted to 22nd in League Two. Tippett was sacked and replaced by Barry Hunter. The club managed to stave off relegation for another season and after Max Griggs handed the club over to the Supporters’ Trust the club were finally relegated to the Conference.

As the 2010/11 season drew to an end it was revealed that the club were under a transfer embargo and only the intervention of the PFA prevented the Diamonds players from refusing to play a game against Mansfield due to unpaid wages. The club faced a winding up petition on behalf of HMRC in June 2011 with reported debts of £750,000. The club was eventually expelled from the Conference in the same month amid mounting financial pressures and eventually entered liquidation and were subsequently dissolved. A move to enter the Southern Football League was unsuccessful and club entered administration in July 2011.

Following one of the most meteoric rises and falls in the modern history of football Rushden and Diamonds’ supporters announced their desire to create a new fanowned club called AFC Rushden and Diamonds. In 2012 this club began life playing in the United Counties Football League Division One with their home games staged at the Dog and Duck, home of Wellingborough Town.

So there you have it, from giants of Non-League football, to distant memories of a swift rise into the Football League before being dumped out of existence. As for Nene Park, well, it was used for eighteen months by Kettering Town and also saw action as a training camp during the Olympics, but it appears it is now vacant with very little chance of further football use. There is probably a moral to the story somewhere but it is plain to see that something went badly wrong with our former Conference rivals.

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CJK 27

AT THE COALFACE: TWIN TOWERS Why do Rovers fans go weak at the knees for a bloody great lump of a centre half? Jack the Miner attempts to find out.

Life is full of unsolved mysteries... the Bermuda Triangle, Stonehenge, the Pyramids; why is Jeremy Clarkson popular? What the hell does Victoria Coren see in David Mitchell? Why do Rovers fans worship centre halves?

Give a Rovers fan the choice between a mercurial winger and a monolith of a centre back and it’s the man mountain with the granite jaw and bloodied temple that will get the Man of the Match vote every time.

Forget the hat-trick, the 40 yarder in the top corner and the opposition frightening Alpine slalom dribble down the wing; it’s the crunching tackle and the winning of a lost cause that lifts the crowd and gets people on their feet.

It seems to me that genius is not enough. Look at Michael McIndoe.

We were lucky enough to witness many moments of magic in his time but many fans felt the need to qualify their admiration by stressing that ‘he always tracks back, works hard and does his work in defence when he has to.’ A few Popsiders let it be known that McIndoe would make a fine full back. There’s a good chance those on the Pop Side were the sons of the misters I’d stand near to in the days of Peter Kitchen and Brendan O’Callaghan. Not content with the

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never ending supply of goals from Big Bren they’d comment on what an effective central defender he’d make one day. We seem to prefer honest endeavour over flair It’s like you were told about pretty girls... you can’t trust them. They’ll break your heart. Perhaps we invest our love in our number 5 because they won’t leave you whereas your prolific number 9 will always run off with a bigger boy with his own car and a smarter haircut.

In the autopsy that followed our fall from the Championship the ‘what might have been’ discussion didn’t focus on how it would all have been different if we’d been able to keep the likes of Richie Wellens and Paul Green. There wasn’t even a consensus about Billy Sharp, but there was popular support for the idea that losing Matt Mills and then failing to secure Jason Shackell not only lead to our downfall but also nullified any hopes of a push towards a play-off place. It seems we really do expect to build from the back.

But it’s not a distrust of fleet footed fancy Dan’s. It’s a genuine admiration of those that put in a shift doing the unglamorous tasks.

We’re a community that still holds dear the values of our engineering and mining history, so perhaps we identify with the role.

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Perhaps it’s a straightforward primal, tribal matter. When all said and done, the big guys at the back are defending our castle. It’s our land and we want to keep it from the invading hordes and while the knights on horseback are trying to keep their shiny armour clean it’s the twin Colossus at the back getting their heads in the way of the aerial bombardment and laying their bodies on the line. Or maybe I’ve been watching too many episodes of Merlin.

In scanning this week’s football reports I found these words attributed to defenders...robust, rigid, uncompromising, gritty, tireless, brave, selfless... They are the rock we build or kingdom on.

And now we have a new rock. Rob Jones. Despite the emergence of James Husband, occasional brilliance from Kyle Bennett, the goal scoring potential of Billy Paynter and pure quality of Iain Hume it’s Rob Jones that has been universally accepted as the key signing. He’s the first name everyone wants to see on the team sheet.

Jones has already been referred to as a legend. It’s a much overused word when it comes to Rovers players but maybe Corporal Jones is on his way. Only time will tell, but he will join an impressive list of central defenders.

It’s a list that’s much longer than any equivalent list of strikers, wide men, playmakers or ‘keepers.

In our post Conference days we’ve had Graeme Lee, Matt Mills, the oft maligned Adam Lockwood (lest we forget our Player of the Year in 2006/07), Stephen Roberts, Steve Foster, Mark Albrighton and preceding that Steve Nicol, Lee Warren, Darren Moore, Tony Brown, Brendan Ormsby and even further back, Hugh Dowd, Dave Cusack, Steve Wignall, Paul Raven, Russ Wilcox, Pat Lally and of course Colin Douglas who received more recognition for his days in the back line than he did as a striker.

And they’re just the first names that came to mind from the last forty years. Many of those received Player of the Year awards; some were nominated for and chosen in the PFA divisional teams of the year. There are many more from the 1960s, 1950s and beyond worthy of respect.

I noticed that that the press this week used the following words when talking about strikers... harmlessly, delicate, petulant, inconsistent, underweighted, fluffy... They’re not words I’d associate with our own hit men. And even if I did, I wouldn’t admit it to their face. I’m not stupid. But maybe these words illustrate why this corner of South Yorkshire builds it dreams around the lads with battle scars and chests like a coal barges. You know where you are with a big number 5.

popularSTAND // ISSUE 61 // DECEMBER 2012

Oh and on the off chance you’re at the game and reading this, Victoria Coren, you really ought to call me. I’m a bigger boy than David Mitchell, with my own car and a smarter haircut.

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MYSTIC MIKE’S HORROSCOPES Gazing into his crystal Jordan Ball, Mystic Mike Follows delviers some generic mumbo-jumbo masquerading as astrology.

Aries

March 21-April 19 Celebrity Star sign: Leo Fortune-West Jupiter is rising. Rising like a salmon. Rising majestically to plant its tenbob shaped head on a long ball. Hard work will pay off this month. You may feel that others don’t appreciate you but they secretly do. Avoid low doors.

Fortune comes from the West.

Taurus

April 20-May 20 Celebrity Star sign: John Ryan It seems as though you keep reading the same things time and time again.

History repeats itself. Questions are asked about a lack of essential items but you can overcome this and the cream will rise to the top. People like it when you smile. Luck is in the rub of the green.

Gemini

May 21-June 20 Celebrity Star Sign: Mark “Lawro” Lawrenson Cheer up, Gemini. Things aren’t as bad as they may seem. Your negative outlook will push people away from you but they will come back when they have experienced things on the other side. The grass isn’t always greener.

Place your trust in a man with big ears.

Cancer

June 21- July 22 Celebrity Star Sign: Sean O’Driscoll You are feeling impatient with people who just don’t seem to understand you. Inside your head you are shouting the obvious but people don’t hear you. There has been turmoil in your life but you are surrounding yourself with old friends. This may change after Christmas.

Leo

July 23-August 22 Celebrity Star Sign: Dave Penney The modern world is a place of wonder and you yearn for the comfort of a simpler time. Nevertheless, you see the value of encouraging future generations and this is a good thing. You have a busy month ahead in which you’ll be here, there and every-fucking-where.

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popularSTAND // ISSUE 61 // DECEMBER 2012

Virgo

August 23-September 22 Celebrity Star Sign: Lewis Guy A falling star passes through the sign of Virgo this month. You feel close to mother earth and the smell of grass is comforting. A trip to the dentist could prove to be costly. Luck can be found at the bottom of a swimming pool.

Libra

September 23-October 22 Celebrity Star Sign: Gary Johnson You are on the crest of a wave, swelled by the love that people feel for you.

You are a pioneer and you will surely be successful with your visionary take on your chosen work. Foreign climes lead to misadventure. Luck isn’t needed because you’re so great.

Scorpio

October 23-November 21 Celebrity Star Sign: Steve Evans 17 means something special to you. Boots and a journey to Avon both hold significance in your sign. Avoid people giving gifts in brown envelopes. You are in a very unpleasant place. Everything happens for a reason.

Sagittarius

November 22-December 21 Celebrity Star Sign: Neil Warnock People are quick to place blame at your door. You find it frustrating that you seem to be singled out repeatedly. Try bringing hate figures into your inner circle to deflect attention from yourself. Misfortune wears black.

Capricorn

December 22-January 19 Celebrity Star Sign: Alex Ferguson Time is on your side this month. Do not mix with Sagittarians; black is lucky for you. As the weather gets colder, make sure you wrap up warm. A purple nose brings ridicule. Success can be found in a small, blue packet at a corner shop checkout.

Aquarius

January 20-February 18 Celebrity Star Sign: Billy Sharp Don’t worry. Issues around your weight are greatly exaggerated. Old friends are around to help you and recurring encounters with a net will bring good fortune. Sometimes you can’t see the wood for the trees but you feel closer to home now.

Pisces

February 19-March 20 Celebrity Star Sign: Graham Westley You may feel that people don’t like you. And you’re right. Spend the next month in isolation and try to stay quiet. Reflect on why people feel the way they do and make a change for the better. It’s never too late to change. Luck can be found far away. The farther the better.

MF

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SEASONS IN RETROSPECT It’s time for part two of Ray Jest’s look back at 1973-74.

As we rejoin Maurice Setters’ side Rovers have drawn their opening league game and shocked Notts County 4-3 in the League Cup. On the Saturday following their great Cup win over Notts County Rovers travelled to Valley Parade to play Yorkshire neighbours Bradford City. Brendan O’Callaghan made his league debut for the Rovers and proved a handful for the City defence. Peter Higgins put Rovers in front on 37 minutes. The only other thing of note concerning Rovers in this half was a penalty save by Book from City forward Ingham. After defending well for almost all the second half, and just as it looked as if Rovers would hold out for the win City equalised in the 83rd minute.

It ended 1-1 and Rovers found themselves in an unusual mid table position, with 2 points from 2 games.

3,313 fans turned up for the next game at Belle Vue against Torquay United, and, as always seems to happen, a decent crowd saw Rovers capitulate by a single goal, scored after 27 mins. To say it was an unimpressive display would only just about touch the edges.

Brighter news came as 17 year old Rovers Apprentices Robert McLuckie and Stephen Reed were both picked for training at Lilleshall with the England Youth Team. “Obviously this is a good thing for the club and gives the players a boost too,” said Manager Maurice Setters.

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Rovers were at Belle Vue again for their next League game this time against the “Old Enemy” Barnsley. In a controversial game two players were sent off, Archie Irvine for Rovers and Kenny Brown for Barnsley, after squaring up to each other in the 77th minute.

It is not certain whether any blows were exchanged but it was sufficient enough a confrontation for the Referee to send both for the obligatory “Early Bath”. Doncaster won the game 1-0, thanks to a goal scored in the 80th minute by Brendan O’Callaghan, his first league for the club. The win meant Rovers now sat in 11th place in the table and their fans made much of the fact that defeat ensured Barnsley were rock bottom.

On the injury front John Haselden, who had taken a knock in the preseason game against Stoke City pulled up in a reserve game at York with a recurrence of the same injury, wiping out any lasting hopes of a quick return to the first team.

Back to the action, and if you were a football fan wanting goals at the start of this season then Rovers had to be the team to watch. Over the next five games involving the club there were no less than 25 goals, unfortunately not all to Doncaster’s benefit.

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First was a trip to Griffin Park, the home of Brentford, from which Rovers came home on the back of a 2-0 defeat. Another away trip followed, this time to London Road and Peterborough United. Again it brought defeat but this time a heavy one; 5-1 the reply coming from Alan Murray with a penalty 3 minutes from time.

Returning home to Belle Vue, Rovers next opponents were Workington Town. This time it was Doncaster scoring five goals, but only after Workington had taken a shock lead.

Kitchen had equalised for Rovers on 29 minutes only for Workington to go in front again just one minute later.

Just before the interval Kitchen scored his second and in the second half O’Callaghan with a brace and a fifth from Higgins secured a Rovers win.

Following that victory Rovers travelled to Gillingham and the Priestfield Stadium on a high. It turned out to be a disaster as Rovers were once again on the end of a 5-1 routing. Rovers only goal was scored

by Kitchen in the 53rd minute and at 2-1 down hopes of a revival were high, but they fell apart under countless attacks and succumbed to the better team.

At Belle Vue though it appeared that Rovers were establishing their home ground as something of a fortress, and they gained some revenge on Peterborough United in a 3-1 win.

Goals from Elwiss, Kitchen and Ternent sealing the victory. The game also featured a rare booking for a manager; Maurice Setters cautioned in the 17th minute for something he said to the linesman.

Reading were Rovers next visitors and would prove a stern test for Setters’ men. Riding high in 2nd position Reading were having a good season and were proving to be one of the form sides. However, Doncaster matched their opponents stride for stride and were unlucky on several occasions not to go in front. Death the Reading keeper was by far the busiest man on the field pulling of saves from Kitchen and Murray. And right at the end of the game Death pulled of a save from Murray that had goal written all over it but he managed to tip it around the post.

So it ended goalless, Rovers worthy of the point that lifted them into 15th and kept Reading in 2nd spot behind only Bury on goal average.

In the League Cup, following their impressive victory over Notts County Rovers were set to face another set of Magpies in the next round, as they were drawn away to Newcastle United. Malcolm McDonald, Bobby Moncur, Terry McDermott and all. It was a mouthwatering tie and Rovers travelled up to St James Park full of optimism and hope.

Unfortunately the game was over before half time, two defensive mistakes in the 33rd and 37th minutes allowed McDonald to score twice. Strikers of that quality need no second invitation to score goals and he duly claimed his hat trick in the 73rd minute. Two more goals from Keith Robson and one from Clark put seal to a disappointing evening for Rovers. But give credit also where it is due, even at 4, 5 and 6 goals down Rovers still tried to take the game to Newcastle. And the one bonus from the game was that Rovers share of the gate netted them ÂŁ7,247 pounds.

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SEEASONS IN RETROSPECT // CONTINUED There wasn’t to be much cheer on the return to League action though as Doncaster were beaten 3-0 at Chester in a dismal display that’s best forgotten. The next three games wouldn’t get much better as Rovers gained just one point. In front of just 1,676 faithful fans they drew 2-2 with Hartlepool United at Belle Vue. The game saw the return to the Rovers side of former Welsh international Graham Moore after injury. Peter Kitchen had put Rovers in front after 37 minutes, and Steve Uzelac had given Rovers the lead for the second time on 56 minutes after Hartlepool had equalised just two minute after Kitchen’s goal.

The next game saw Rovers travel to Oakwell to face Barnsley. The first half ended 0-0 with Rovers running rings around their South Yorkshire neighbours, but being unable to turn their superiority into goals. However, the second half saw Barnsley dominate affairs and unlike Rovers, they made the most of their chances when they occurred.

The game finished 2-0 to Barnsley and Rovers had dropped to 19th in the division.

Rovers now travelled up to Feethams for a game against Darlington and once again Rovers dominated play but lacked the “Killer touch” in front of goal. At the end the game was decided on a 53rd minute penalty and Rovers run of unimpressive results continued.

Swansea City, three places and two points above Rovers in the league,

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were the next visitors to Belle Vue. For once Rovers got their act together and goals from Kitchen, O’Callaghan and Elwiss saw them close the difference to just goal average in the table with a 3-1 win.

A trip to Somerton Park the home of Newport County followed, but this time it was the Welshmen who came out on top. The game that exploded from the start with County scoring in the second minute, then fizzed out until the 43rd minute when Newport scored a second goal, only for Steve Uzelac to pull a goal back in the 44th minute and the Newport to score again in the 45th minute. 3-1 was how it finished.

19th in the division and in the opinion of many fans the season was going no different than the two which had preceded it. That said, a slight upturn in fortunes saw Rovers take 3 out of the next 4 points. A 1-1 draw at Belle Vue against Bury with O’Callaghan giving Rovers a 52nd minute lead only for Bury to equalise in the 70th minute was followed by a 2-1 victory over Exeter City at their St James Park ground. Rover’s goals coming from Murray and O’Callaghan turning round Exeter’s14th minute lead.

Still it was not an easy game and Rovers had to survive a 59th minute penalty which gratefully Wallace of Exeter blasted against the crossbar.

In the FA Cup Rovers were paired with Lincoln City at Belle Vue and ran out 1-0 winners thanks to an ALan Murray penalty to set up a 2nd round tie with Tranmere.

Will Rovers league form improve? Will they defeat Tranmere? Find out in Issue 62

RJ

popularSTAND // ISSUE 61 // DECEMBER 2012