popular STAND 65

EDITORIAL NEW SEASON AND POTENTIAL NEW INVESTMENT; GLEN WILSON LOOKS AHEAD TO 2013-14 Friends, Rovers, Consortium, Welcome to the first edition of popular STAND of the new season, and our 65th issue since time began back in April 1998. An especially warm welcome too to our increasing number of subscribers who are thumbing these pages, or scrolling this PDF; when I took over as editor in March 2011 we had just two subscribers, that number is now forty-two and it is great to see so many keen to follow and support a print fanzine in an age when the internet was supposed to consume all paper products with the exception of bog roll, though there’s probably an app for that.

I had expected to be sitting here writing a wistful editorial about that thirty seconds at Brentford, or hopes for a memorable charge to the unexpected glory which could await us in twenty-first place, but that was until the rumours began to surface of

additional investment for Rovers in the form of a mystery Irish consortium.

Since the first rumours tumbled out, the national press have been doing their usual made-up news dot-todot linking Rovers with any Irish player who may be a big name and out of favour at their current club; Shay Given, Stephen Ireland, Brian O’Driscoll, one of the guys from Westlife, you know the fella with the quiff, and so forth.

So what of this Irish Consortium? Well we’re fairly sure it isn’t Jedward by the way, in case the cover concerned you. Instead we are led to believe it is effectively the same Westferry group who initially safeguarded the club back in 1998, with billionaire Denis O’Brien at its helm. O’Brien, though he was key to saving the club fifteen years ago is not without controversial baggage and throughout the intermittent years he’s been involved in a scandal in Ireland relating to money he is alleged to have

CONTENTS: ISSUE 65 05. Spotted!

06. The Bernard Glover Diaries 09. Holiday Rovers 10. Jack The Miner’s Coalface 13. Easy For Dennis 14. Up In 18 Seconds 17. Doncaster Comet

18. Eight Degrees Of Fandom 20. Voice of the Pop Side 22. Donny R’sonists 24. To Lindum And Back 26. Blowing My Own Trumpet 28. 2013-14 Predicted 31. Windmills Of Your Mind

a football fanzine for the likes of Doncaster | Aug/Sep 2013 | PS65 | 03

paid to the then Communications Minister to influence a mobile phone bidding process for his company Esat Digifone back in 1990.

With all at the club bound by a confidentiality agreement and, at the time of writing, ‘crunch’ meetings still to be scheduled – indeed going off the tweets of local journalists Rovers have had more crunch meetings of late than the biscuit quality control board – it is difficult to ascertain what the aims and objectives of the consortium are. What was initially touted as investment has latterly been labelled a ‘buy-out’, albeit one with John Ryan remaining at the top of the tree as Chairman.

Like most I would feel safer and happier knowing that Ryan was still involved, but let us not forget that Ryan may be passionate and have the interests of the club at heart, but he is not infallible.

‘The experiment’ still looms large in the conscience of many and an indication that Ryan’s keenness to see his team in the top flight can easily outweigh sensible practice.

He is a supporter, and like a fair number of other supporters, the suggestion that he could be watching his team on Match of the Day and Sky’s Superfluous Sundays is one that could leave him salivating before reasoning.

It has already been reported that the consortium are “serious about the Premier League” a phrase which will always make me uncomfortable; reaching the Premier League can be a high risk

gamble and for all the examples of clubs who have done it relatively within their means; Swansea, Wigan and Norwich say, there are the basket cases of Bradford, Portsmouth, Wednesday and Leeds who soon found themselves in the third tier or worse; hanging on for grim life.

Why is it that consortia never promise to “make sensible investments as part of a long-term strategy”, or make matchday prices cheaper? Instead they choose to show they are serious about their intentions by touting marquee signings and inflating wage bills. Strengthening the squad to compete in the Championship is a good thing, but getting to the top flight is not a matter of urgency.

If you do the former, the chance of the latter is increased. Swansea got their by best practice rather than a trolley dash and that surely has to be the model a club like ours follows.

Last week I went to watch Leyton Orient play New York Cosmos and in conversation with the Orient fans around me it seems that both they and the club have reached upon a similar wavelength. Given their location in the capital and with West Ham, Arsenal and Tottenham and all the big money, television, comparative glory they offer, there is no point in Orient trying to match their illustrious neighbours; instead they need to begin to offer something different.

They need to be more accessible, more approachable and personal and become the city’s local club rather than try to be another of it’s

04 | PS65 | Aug/Sep 2013 | a football fanzine for the likes of Doncaster

box office draws.

It’s a laudible and sensible way of thinking and one which Rovers too should look to follow. There are any number of football options born on to youngsters by family or through television in these parts, from Leeds and the Sheffield clubs to Chelsea and the traditional Big Red Clubs of North London and the North West. We will never turn a Manchester United fan into a match-going Doncaster Rovers fan, they will only ever go to the big games, they are inherently drawn to glory like a moth to a bed-side lamp. Instead the challenge and the aim is the floating fan, the Rovers fan who no longer goes to games, the fan who follows football but doesn’t care of the hype of the Premier League. These are our audience, and these are the people that I’m aware the In Rovers We Trust scheme is already looking to.

Investment does not always have to go into the same pockets, those of the well-paid big name journeymen. ‘The experiment’ showed that big names alone won’t bring in the local public; they won’t make us like the established top order of clubs, just a team with an anomaly in midfield, we’d be the endorsement for carpet shampoo the Hollywood star clearly does for the money. Investment can make a much bigger difference if its focus is on the long-term and the support; make it cheaper and they will come. They have before.

Viva Rovers

GW

JAMES HARPER

At Morrisons making his own salad. It had a lot of boiled eggs spotter: @KieranOMalley

TIM RYAN

Watching the Dragon Boat racing at Lakeside a few weeks ago; he had Rovers shorts on so perhaps he’s just waiting for a phone call to return. I resisted the urge to shout SHOOOOT!

spotter: @TonyCSGreenall

LEO FORTUNE-WEST

On the corner of Silver Street wearing a suit and holding a briefcase. spotter: @ChrisDonald92

DAVID COTTERILL

At Vue Cinema, he’d been to see the new Hangover film. He was with his wife, but didn’t seem to have bothered with the Pick ‘N’ Mix

spotter: @ChrisNTwell

SAM HIRD

Sat in the Thorntons cafe at Lakeside eating double scoop of chocolate ice cream in a cone. With a flake. spotter: @EverythingCopps

a football fanzine for the likes of Doncaster | Aug/Sep 2013 | PS65 | 05

THE BERNARD GLOVER DIARIES A NEW NAME FOR OUR NEWS ROUND-UP; FANZINE MASTHEAD BERNARD GLOVER LOOKS BACK OVER THE LAST THREE MONTHS SATURDAY 20TH APRIL ROVERS 0-1 NOTTS COUNTY Big crowd, big expectations, you just knew we wouldn’t do it the easy way.

A win for Rovers against Notts County will send Rovers up, but despite a lot of huffing and puffing they never quite recover from the thunderous exocet of a goal scored by County’s Joss Labadie.

Top of the league at kick-off Rovers now faced a winner-takes-all trip to Brentford if they were to be promoted to League One. Immediately after fulltime they were dealt a lifeline of sorts as Hartlepool United held Brentford to a draw at Victoria Park; Hartlepool’s opener met with raucous cheers in the Belle Vue Bar. That result meant that a draw at Griffin Park the following weekend would be enough to take Rovers up.

It was to be a similarly frustrating day for the Doncaster Belles as an hour after the Rovers loss, they got their FA Women’s Super League season up and running against Chelsea. The Blue’s England international Eni Aluko proved to be the difference between the two sides, her virtuoso performance leading the visitors to a 4-0 win.

FRIDAY 26TH APRIL A shock for the Belles as just one week and one game into the new FAWSL season the FA announces that they will be ‘relegated’ at the end of the season into the new FAWSL2 for the 2014

season. Though there is much outrage amongst the Belles and their support at their omission from the top flight, especially considering the inclusion of a brand new Notts County team and a Manchester City side never to have played in the top tier, press coverage is minimal, but momentum will be picked up over the summer (see page 26).

SATURDAY 27TH APRIL BRENTFORD 0-1 ROVERS So it comes down to this, after fortyfive matches Brentford and Rovers must slog it out for one final ninety minutes to decide who takes the second promotion place alongside Bournemouth. For the most part the game itself, with Rovers only needing a point, was a dull, fragmented, nervy affair largely played out in short bursts in midfield. But in the closing minutes Brentford began to commit forward for the goal they had to score and opportunities to break fell for Rovers, before the final thirty seconds of added time and the most dramatic conclusion to a season Rovers have ever, and possibly will ever, been involved in.

You don’t need us to recap what happened from the moment Marcello Trotta saw his name up in lights, you’ll have watched it and listened to it and relived it over and over again this summer, and we’ll always have our unique take on how and where it happened for us. From up in the commentary box it was an incredible

06| PS65 | Aug/Sep 2013 | a football fanzine for the likes of Doncaster

scene to watch unfold as everything moved from right to left like crockery sliding across the table on a listing cruise ship. The sight of Rovers’ subs haring down the touchline and literally diving into the supporters will stay with me for along time. And besides, now its long gone and we’re all friends here; I’m certain Jamie Coppinger was offside. Still there you go. Rovers were up.

MONDAY 29TH APRIL Following the end of season meal and presentation night the evening before Rovers were finally presented the League One trophy on the pitch at the Keepmoat Stadium. There will be those who say that this sort of thing gives more fans an opportunity to see Rovers lift the trophy, but in ten, fifteen years time what will you remember?

Rob Jones in replica shirt and jeans on a temporary plastic plinth, or where you were on that afternoon. Mind, I suppose you did get to see Lee Butler face-plant said plinth so swings and roundabouts and all that.

FRIDAY 17TH MAY Rovers release five players with the most notable of them being Gary Woods, goalkeeper in a Championship winning side and the player who made the most appearances last season.

Also on their way out are the injury hit Martin Woods, the timber-carrying Lee Fowler and youth team graduates Paddy Mullen and Jordan Ball; the latter of which infamously scored with his first touch in senior football in the Capital One Cup tie with Chesterfield at the start of last season.

MONDAY 20TH MAY To a fanfare of melancholy and indifference Rovers announce Paul Dickov as their new manager following Brian Flynn’s decision to move upstairs – the poor fella having been stuck on the top step all summer. Dickov and Michael Appleton were believed to be the two front-runners for the job and the former gives initial encouragement to supporters with some sensible words at his first press conference.

TUESDAY 2ND JULY FRICKLEY ATHLETIC 0-4 ROVERS And we’re off again, nothing says preseason has arrived like kicking a ball about in the shadow of a South Elmsall slag heap. Paul Keegan, Chris Brown with a brace and David Syers score the Rovers goals in a comfortable opening fixture. Syers goal coming as his initial shot was saved by the Frickley goalkeeper, but via a ricochet it hit him in the face and went in. Total football.

SATURDAY 6TH JULY RETFORD UNITED 2-4 ROVERS Paul Dickov, determined to shake off the dour Scotsman persona, marked Rovers performance as ‘sloppy’ and ‘pretty poor’ as they strolled to another pre-season victory at Cannon Park. A lesser publication might have stopped to a ‘culled the Badgers’ gag there, but not us. A second half hat-trick from Chris Brown and another pre-season goal for David Syers secured the win for Rovers.

TUESDAY 9TH JULY ROSSINGTON MAIN 0-3 ROVERS Those who have questioned why Rovers should play friendlies against

a football fanzine for the likes of Doncaster | Aug/Sep 2013 | PS65 | 07

local lower league opposition only need to have seen the crowd at Oxford Street for this fixture. Over 1,2000 squeezed in to Rossington’s home ground giving a huge boost to a strictly amateur team run completely by volunteers. Another pre-season goal each for Chris Brown and David Syers, plus a rare strike from Paul Quinn wrapped up the win for Rovers inside the opening quarter.

SATURDAY 13TH JULY ROVERS 0-0 MOTHERWELL Rovers only home friendly of preseason sees them perform admirably against the Scottish Premier League side, but they are dealt a significant blow as new signing Marc de val Fernandez who has impressed in pre-season goes off injured. The injury turns out to be serious, with the Spaniard set to miss at least the opening two months of the season.

TUESDAY 16TH JULY The Rovers squad bugger off to Portugal for a week as part of their pre-season preperations, going with them are the yet to sign Harry Forrester, Jean-Yves M’Voto and goalkeeper Marian Kello. Whilst out in the Algarve Rovers chalk up another win in a practice match, defeating Portimonense 2-1 who we’re told are a good side, much the way any side west of Brussells was described as ‘crack’ prior to 1993.

M’Voto departs the tour midway through to sign for Barnsley to a veritable forum meltdown.

SATURDAY 27TH JULY BRADFORD CITY 1-2 ROVERS Paul Dickov’s side complete an unbeaten pre-season with a 2-1 win

away at Bradford thanks to goals from David Cotterill and Kyle Bennett. New signing Mark Duffy impressed for Rovers as too did the returning Dean Furman, and with still no senior goalkeeper committed to the club, a solid performance from Jon Maxted in goal was also welcome. Richie Wellens who has been training with the club following release from Leicester started for Rovers in midfield, whilst South African centre-back Bongani Khumalo also started as part of a trial from Tottenham.

WEDNESAY 31ST JULY As this fanzine flies off to the printers the club holds what could well be the most important meeting in a long time, with the reported Irish consortium holding serious takeover talks with the club’s board.

With all at Rovers having signed a confidentiality agreement details are sketchy, but it would appear the consortium are looking to make a buyout rather than an investment, with John Ryan likely to remain as chairman. Though details have not been publically disclosed it is believed that the consortium is strongly connected to the Westferry group who rescued the club in 1998 and billionaire Dennis O’Brien, a man who has been involved in a long legal battle in Ireland relating to allegations that he made payments to the then Communications Minister Michael Lowry to influence the bidding process over a mobile phone licence awarded to O’Brien’s Esat Digifone consortium in 1990. There’s always a catch isn’t there. We would obviously like to thank all at Rovers for holding this meeting about four hours after we sent this ‘zine off to the printers.

08 | PS65 | Aug/Sep 2013 | a football fanzine for the likes of Doncaster

GW

WHAT ROVERS DID IN THE HOLIDAYS WHAT DO FOOTBALLERS REALLY GET UP TO IN THE CLOSE SEASON? THE FANZINE’S OWN MIKE FOLLOWS FINDS OUT As the excitement of winning the League One title started to subdue, the Rovers players’ thoughts moved on to buckets and spades, ice cream and donkey rides. Brian Flynn knew that he’d be handing over the reins to a new manager so he gave the players one last assignment to complete. At the end of a day spent at Cantley Park wearing casual clothes and playing hangman on the tactics board, the squad were asked to document their activities during their Summer break. popular STAND has got hold of the homework and new manager, Paul Dickov’s report and we’re publishing the highlights below:

KYLE BENNETT

I took Mabel the team hamster home for the Summer holidays. My friend, Gary has got a hamster so I put them together so they could play with each other. They were best friends and Gary’s hamster liked to ride on Mabel’s back. One morning when I’d finished eating my Sugar Puffs I went to feed Mabel and she was pooing all little hamsters out which made me cry a bit but Gary said it was birds and bees.

He must think I’m silly. They were definitely hamsters.

Paul’s Report: Kyle has much to learn and needs at least another couple of years at the club.

ROB JONES

I told my mum Ros to stand for the Doncaster Mayoral elections and of course she won. To celebrate, I built a weather station to give us a decent

summer before nipping to London to safely deliver the new heir to the throne. Combined with humdrum activities like heading North Korean missiles clear, having my cake and eating it and making silk purses out of sows’ ears it’s been a busy few months.

Paul’s Report: TBC – I’ll write whatever Rob tells me to write.

JORDAN BALL Paul’s Report: No homework; expelled JAMES HARPER

Spent lots of time walking my Pointer round Spurn Point. Re-pointed my house. Downloaded the best of the Pointer Sisters with my Nectar points.

I also got into cricket for a couple of days and went to Surrey to see Ricky pointing but I was disappointed to find out that it’s actually Ricky Ponting. Got three points on my licence on the way back.

Paul’s Report: A pointless piece of work. Has ability but must try harder.

MARC DE VAL FERNANDEZ

Hello. My name is Marc. I am 23 years old and I come from Blanes in Catalonia in Spain. I like very much dogs and reading books and playing football. I do not like sausages. I have brown hair short. I have a hurt on my leg.

Paul’s Report: Welcome to England, Marc. We hope you have a lovely time here and that you work hard to prove your old team in Madrid wrong.

MF

a football fanzine for the likes of Doncaster | Aug/Sep 2013 | PS65 | 09

JACK THE MINER’S COALFACE JACK THE MINER ENVISAGES THE NOT TOO INCONCiEVABLE NOTION OF A MAN SHOPPING FOR A TEAM TO SUPPORT A MAN WALKS INTO ARMCHAIR SUPPORTERS ‘R’ US...

Shop Keeper: Good morning Sir. May I help you?

Man Yes, I’d like to support a football team.

SK Certainly Sir. Are you interested in your local club?

Man No, they’re crap. I just wouldn’t have the patience to support a team that loses games. I rather liked the idea of supporting a team that wins things.

SK Sir has taste. Perhaps you’d like to look at our Executive range?

*The assistant opens a door into a brightly lit room. It is an Aladdin’s cave of football shirts in frames and replica trophies. The assistant waves an arm beckoning the man to look upon the display.* SK Sir basically has a number of choices. You may go straight to the European selection which will allow you to wear the shirts of Barcelona, Real Madrid and others and stand in bars with know-it-all dimwits discussing the relative strengths of Messi and Ronaldo.

Man But I don’t see enough of them to know anything about them.

SK I wouldn’t worry about that Sir. Watch a few You Tube clips and you’ll know enough to talk complete bollocks about any continental galactic with any armchair expert.

Man Well, I’ll think about it, but I was thinking of something that’ll let me join in with the chat at work about English football. I’d like to be one of the boys whilst looking down my nose at everyone at the same time.

SK Ah, I see. Well, you could go for Aston Villa...Everton, Newcastle perhaps... Geordie nation, Shearer, King Kev and all that. You could talk endlessly about Malcolm MacDonald, years of hurt...being the most loyal supporters in the land.

Man But isn’t that Man City fans?

SK It used to be but they’re winning things now... as I was saying, the Newcastle fan is unique in its ability to talk endlessly about loyalty despite jumping ship in huge numbers when they were relegated and garbage. They genuinely believe their own hype.

Man No, I was thinking of a never ending supply of league titles, cup wins and the like. I quite like the idea of supporting a team that considers finishing outside the top four to be a disaster.

10 | PS65 | Aug/Sep 2013 | a football fanzine for the likes of Doncaster

SK Ah, the top of the range.

Arsenal, Chelsea, Manchester City, Manchester United, that sort of thing?

Man Manchester United is the same as Man U aren’t they?

SK Yes Sir, one and the same. You certainly know your football.

*Man smiles to himself in nonchalant fashion* And you can probably add Spurs to the list and Liverpool too, although you might prefer to wait until they look like winning something.

And you have to be careful with Liverpool as you need to drone on about the Scouse sense of humour and you’ll need to commit all those Bill Shankly quotations to memory.

Man Well, I quite like the idea of Chelsea and all that money. That must guarantee success, surely?

SK Possibly, but that’s what the QPR fans thought and look at them now.

Man OK. By the way, will all this be expensive?

SK Oh no Sir. Your only outlay will be a home shirt, an away shirt and a Sky package. A car sticker maybe. A mug for your desk.

Man And that’s it?

SK Absolutely. It’s a bargain. You see, the type of supporter following his local team may well spend a few thousand pound a year on season tickets, away tickets, petrol, rail fares, food and other expenses and he will have nothing to show for it

except heartache, a numbing pain to the heart from underachievement and near misses plus a cold from standing out in all weathers; whereas this may cost you a couple of hundred pounds and you’ll never have to leave the house.

Man This sounds great. It’s just what I’m looking for. And I’ll be able to put Van Persie’s name on those shirts?

SK Well he doesn’t play for Chelsea but we can sort something suitable out for you.

Man And you’re sure I don’t actually have to go to any games?

SK Oh, no Sir, no need to do that although many of our clients do like to jump in line for Cup Final tickets to make sure they’re there for the biggest occasions and of course that has the additional benefit of depriving the regular supporter of a ticket which is always a huge bonus. You could of course pop along and see Chelsea if they have an away game near you but most don’t bother.

Man And what about hidden extras?

Any small print?

SK Nothing to worry about Sir. You might like to practice referring to your team as ‘we’; do a bit of reading up and learn a bit about the club’s history so you can talk about Fat Frank, JT, Chopper Harris and Ossie.

Man Who are they?

SK Chelsea legends Sir. Don’t worry about it. You’ll soon pick it up. You’ll soon be chatting away and

a football fanzine for the likes of Doncaster | Aug/Sep 2013 | PS65 | 11

reminiscing about Bobby Tambling and Peter Bonetti and laughing about how useless Micky Droy was and those away days at Grimsby in the bad old days.

SK Well you could drop down to the Championship which is full of big teams like Derby County and Notts Forest. Or Champions of Europe, Leeds United.

Man It sounds great. I can’t wait.

Bobby Bonetti. I’ll remember that.

Man Were they really Champions of Europe?

SK That’s Peter Bonetti Sir... The Cat.

SK No Sir, that’s just never-ending, bitter, self-pitying, misplaced delusion on their part. It always reminds me of that Sean Connery quotation about losers moaning and blaming everyone else while the winners go home and shag the Prom Queen....Now there’s a thought. There’s one team that has been quietly winning and bonking the brains out of Prom Queens for a decade or more now...Doncaster Rovers. Great shirts too.

Man Right. Got it. Peter Bonnetti and his cat. And what if they stop winning things? Can I change my mind and support someone else?

SK Well, you could do that but we advise people not to. Our customers find they get less abuse if they just shut up about football for a while; complain about the atmosphere not being the same anymore, moan about negative continental style tactics stifling the game and how you’ve always been more of a rugger or cricket man and how you’ve been busy with that. And the nice thing about that is that you can bounce around the office like Tigger in Winnie the Pooh gobbing off at anyone prepared to listen the moment you’re back in contention to win things again.

Man Awesome. So there’s no-one else I should consider before I sign up?

Man Erm, no thanks. I saw a photo of Jeremy Clarkson wearing a Doncaster Rovers baseball cap recently. I couldn’t possibly. I think I’ll stick with Chelsea.

SK Certainly Sir. I’ll have it wrapped for you.

Man Thank you, but I think I’ll give the cat a miss. Up the Chelsea United! * Shopkeeper rolls his eyes*

LEARNING ABOUT THE WIDER WORLD THROUGH THE TWEETS OF ROVERS’ DEADBALL ACE “DUBAI IS AMAZING!” 12 | PS65 | Aug/Sep 2013 | a football fanzine for the likes of Doncaster

JTM

WILL THIS DKVDGJKG LSDJ SDNF VSJNFSVNSK THIS ISSUE: THE OFFSIDE LAW SDKLFSDKFS FASJNSDFJDS SFNSDKJSF SDFJNSKFJ Na then, alright m’ducks? Hope you’ve had a good summer. I tell you it’s been murder wearing my goalie gloves in this heat. Anyway, enough pleasantries on to this edition’s explanation and one that’s always argued about by ex-pros, supporters and pundits alike; the offside law. What with daft speak such as daylight, phases of play and the like it can’t half get confusing, but don’t worry, it’s easy for Dennis.

So, the offside law, or Law 11 as refs call it when they’re being particularly arsey. Despite all the supposed confusion it’s pretty simple, even Colin Douglas would get the gist of it and that’s saying something.

Forget all that nonsense about daylight and all that, all you need to know is that a player is caught offside if he’s nearer to my goal than both the ball and the second-last opponent (so both me and the last defender, or two defenders if I’ve buggered off somewhere) when his team-mate plays the ball forwards.

In other words, a player can’t receive the ball from a team-mate unless there are at least two players either level with him or between him and the goal. The daylight stuff doesn’t matter either, it comes down to whether the part of the player receiving the ball is a part of him or her can play the ball

with; so he/she can’t be offside if it’s just their arm sticking out, but if it’s their foot or their arse then up goes the flag, especially if the Pop Side are giving the Lino hell.

Remember though it is not an offence in itself to be offside; a player is only penalised for being offside if he is deemed to be involved in active play in the opposition’s half. So if you’re a lumping great striker you can goal hang all you like and you’ll only be called offside if you are: • Interfering with play (in so much as you are part of the attacking move).

• Interfering with an opponent; no not in a 70s celebrity way, but if you are preventing the opponent from defending against the attacking move.

• Gaining any advantage by being in that position.

Mind you all that goes out the window if its a goal kick, throw in or corner because you can’t be offside from any of those.

See, simple really,told you it was easy for Dennis. And if you still don’t understand it get yourself some gloves and become a goalkeeper like me. Much less to worry about.

Until next time, Ta ra lads and lasses.

a football fanzine for the likes of Doncaster | Aug/Sep 2013 | PS65 | 13

UP IN 18 SECONDS A COLLECTION OF FIRST PERSON ACOUNTS FROM ROVERS’ OWN ‘WHERE WERE YOU WHEN JFK WAS SHOT?’ MOMENT ROB JONES, ROVERS CAPTAIN “It was almost written in the stars.

I knew he was going to miss because of the pressure, three of them were fighting over who should take it and the lad who stepped up had only been on the pitch a few minutes. I must admit I didn’t envisage we would go down the other end and score within 20 seconds, but that summed up our season – these lads never give up.”

BRIAN FLYNN, ROVERS MANAGER “So close wasn’t it? You concede a penalty and you fear for the worst but thankfully it turned out brilliant. I would have been happy with the miss to be honest. Billy Paynter only went over the side to get out of the way and say a quiet prayer, but it came right in the end. It’s great for James Coppinger. Brilliant for him, who’s been a great part of this club. He nearly miscontrolled it as well didn’t he? It’s a beautiful game this and crazy at times.”

JAMIE COPPINGER, GOALSCORER “When they get the penalty, you think the worst, you think another two weeks of training, the play-offs, and we’ve been there before in this position where we could’ve finished second and we missed out. But then the ball breaks from off the bar, and you go from praying for Sully to save the penalty to looking up and seeing Billy all by himself, and I just tried to keep up with

him, thinking ‘Please pass it.’ We’d had a set-to in training about passing the ball to each other, so for him to set me up for the goal like that was so ironic. It’s what dreams are made of, you couldn’t write the script. I’d said to Dean Furman that if I scored in the last minute, my shirt was coming off – and that’s what happened. It came off, it disappeared into the crowd and I’ve not seen it since.”

GLEN WILSON, ROVERS PLAYER COMMENTATOR “Superstitious as I am, I haven’t watched a penalty involving ‘my’ team in twenty years. People have remarked how calm I was when the referee pointed to the spot, but in all honesty I had just resigned myself to the penalty being scored as I knew I had to watch it Thanks to a pillar in the middle of the Main Stand I couldn’t actually see which way Marcello Trotta struck it, just his foot make contact, then the ball emerged from the other side of the pillar with an encouraging thwack. I wanted to celebrate the moment Rovers cleared their lines, and had I not been leading the commentary I probably would have, but because I had to watch on, the break suddenly dawned on me, and then I just felt I was talking through to the inevitable. To watch the scenes of celebration at the Rovers end front on was incredible and a very privileged position, but I’d have given anything to have been among them.”

14 | PS65 | Aug/Sep 2013 | a football fanzine for the likes of Doncaster

MIKE FOLLOWS, SUPPORTER

ROSIE LODGE, SUPPORTER

“I was standing on the terrace looking for the nearest exit in readiness for Trotta’s penalty hitting the back of Sullivan’s net. I had been clutching at straws to find some sort of positive pre-match omen and having racked up a couple of irrefutable signs that we were going to win I was questioning my entire concept of world order when the penalty was awarded. Firstly, on the train into London I saw a poster containing the text “bees are in trouble”. That was as good a sign as you could ask for when we were playing the Bees of Brentford. Then I saw a track-side sign that read simply “DN MF”. The Doncaster postcode and my initials together. In London.

You’d have to be pretty stupid to doubt the Rovers after that! Of course, in the end my omens were right and thanks to my eagle-eyed sign spotting, James Coppinger slotted home that championship winning goal. He’s still not thanked me but I’ll let him off given the confusion that engulfed the town.”

“We’re shouting for the ref to blow the whistle. He does – it’s a penalty. We’re silenced. We can almost hear Brentford arguing over who takes it. Torture.

Any sense of self-restrain flies out the ground as we shout ‘’Sully will save it’’.

I’m willing them to miss. He does. We know we’re going up. We’re absorbed in that realisation. We start to celebrate but Billy has the ball there’s more… my heart leaps out of my throat into a bin bag; Billy is kicking it down the pitch with intent. He’s focused, running like Usain Bolt towards goal– it’s all in slow motion for us. We’re overtaken with fear he’s going to miss. The lungs burst as we shout ‘’pass the ball’. We can’t see who he passes it to it takes so long we think it’s going to stop - it’s Copps – we don’t see it go in. We’re already cheering. Relief – disbelief – elation promotion.”

KEITH DERBYSHIRE, SUPPORTER “I cannot say I enjoyed the game, too much tension, Wright- Phillips hits the post, half time comes. Second Half and Rovers holding their own.

Ninety minutes up and I can’t watch anymore. Added time, on the upper tier concourse looking at the houses and the Rovers fans locked outside without a ticket I heard a loud shout, turned around, I thought Brentford had scored, but no, a penalty. I couldn’t look. A loud cheer from the away end, a shout “it hit the bar’” amd I turned around as Billy Payner passes to Jamie Coppinger, watched it cross the line and the rest is history; a moment I will cherish!”

JAMIE BELL, SUPPORTER “On the way to the game I’d said to others on the coach that I hoped it was 0-0 until the last five or ten minutes then Rovers score late so Brentford had little time to recover, but what happened was still unbelievable. With 95 minutes gone we seemed to be home and dry but no, penalty, disbelief.

People stood motionless, a cruel blow?

The 18 seconds that followed was bedlam; devastation to ecstasy. Many were celebrating so much they missed the goal.”

‘DR. F’, ROVERS SUPPORTER “In Valletta, Malta. Sat in the hotel lobby with Player on my iPad, then a mate phoned me to congratulate me whilst I was still listening to Brentford arguing about who would take the penalty! Bloody internet delay.”

a football fanzine for the likes of Doncaster | Aug/Sep 2013 | PS65 | 15

ROB WILLIAMS, SUPPORTER “I was up in Coniston in the Lake District. No internet signal anwhere and just managed to get the TV ariel working on the caravan as the penalty was given - didn’t hear who it was for but knew it would be against us. I stormed out the caravan, looking for the dog so I could boot him into the lake, when my father in law shouted that we’d scored! Could not believe it”

‘DEARNE VALLEY ROVER’, SUPPORTER “In the Belle Vue Bar, head in my hands feeling sick to my stomach waiting to hear the words “and Trotta scores”, then only heard he’s hit the bar, leapt to my feet and joined in the celebrations that we were going up, I don’t think any of us realised that Copp’s had scored until it came up on the Sky scroll bar as we couldn’t hear the commentary for cheering, it went ballistic once we realised we were Champions.”

RICKY PARRISH, SUPPORTER “I was a pallet of mixed emotions that day; exhausted as a small group of us cycled from doncaster through the night to get to the game and angry because our driver (my dad) lost his ticket and damaged his vehicle en route. Watching the drama unfold was a rollercoaster ride and made that whole journey and the whole season just magical. What was even better was seeing seeing my colleagues and friends who laugh at me for supporting little Donny in disbelief over what happened. perfect way to end what was an extremely tense season”

‘BILLY STUBBS TEARS’, ROVERS SUPPORTER “I was jumping round the attic bedroom

like a f***ing maniac making orgasm noises while trying to phone our kid on the away end at Griffin Park. 20 seconds earlier I’d been in a foetal position on the floor sucking my thumb.”

MARTYN BYRNE, SUPPORTER (LISTENING FROM CANADA) “So the penalty gets called immediately I volleyed one of my daughters toys across the living room and kind of give the look that if anyone says a word they may follow the toy and get volleyed out the living room window... anyway I couldn’t take it I had to leave so I go into my bedroom and boot the bed… swear… calm myself down and the commentary goes off... instead my phone cuts out the Rovers Player commentary and starts to ring (in the tune of waterfall by stone roses)...my spotty little brother was phoning from Doncaster to scream about the miss!

However the delay in the radio wasn’t up to speed... I didn’t speak to my brother as I was sulking in the room and as I come out Rovers Player comes back on “and Doncaster have wrapped up promotion to the championship” so I throw my mother in law in the air... not sure where she landed! (who cares) and generally go around jumping up and down going nuts and kiss my 10 month old baby (who is in full rovers kit) at that point my wife’s cousin says “you know they scored right?” and I’m like “they never fucking scored...they missed the penalty Monroe” he says “no some guy named Coppinger I have it on my phone!” So cue round 2... we’ve won the league....we’ve won the league....I then listened to the commentary till the very end... It was the best minute of commentary I’ve ever missed... but a great way to hear of our promotion!”

Thank you to all who contributed.

16 | PS65 | Aug/Sep 2013 | a football fanzine for the likes of Doncaster

The Doncaster Comet LOCAL PRESS CAN’T PRINT D*CKOV BEFORE WATERSHED Rovers new manager is set to be known only as ‘Paul’ in the local press after a complaint by outraged parents groups over gratuitous swear words on the back of the Star. Following the complaints local news outlets have been ordered to either refrain from publishing the surname of the Doncaster boss, or introduce lads mag style cover wraps for their sports sections.

The ban follows the pattern of rude word based moral panic which saw former Arsenal striker Nwanko Kanu referred to only by his surname during his time at Highbury. A source close to the local press criticised the decision; “It’s ludicrous, we

are consummate professionals and are being treated as foul-mouthed yobs,” he said, adding; “This decision is a ****ing joke, made by ****ing spineless ***** and ******, the ******.”

Mrs Fortague, speaking on behalf of the ODMRP (Outraged Daily Mail Reading Parents) group, told the Comet; “It’s an outrage, no-one wants to see that kind of language looming at them from the newstands whilst buying organic produce, what would Princes Diana have said?”

Princess Diana was unavailable for comment.

JOHN RYAN; “I HAVE NOTHING TO SAY”

Rovers Chairman John Ryan has issued a rallying cry ahead of the new season, telling the Doncaster Comet, “I don’t really have anything to say right now, can you call me back later?”

The rousing statement was issued by the Rovers Chairman from his home in Cheshire just days before the new season. Ryan’s noncommittal words are

sure to strike a chord with fans and players alike as they get set for Rovers return to the Championship.

The long serving chairman went on to add “Actually I’ll call you tomorrow,” confirming that he is very much up for the challenge of the season ahead and doesn’t see Rovers as being there to make up the numbers.

DAVE MORLEY LAUNCHES DUBSTEP CAREER

Former Rovers defender Dave Morley has left Welsh Premier League Club Bangor City in order to forge a new career in the world of Dubstep and UK grime.

Morley plans to launch his debut album in October under the moniker Dangerous Dave on Brixton label Swamp 81.

Morley has been a ken advocate of Dubstep thanks to a friendship with legendary DJ/Producer Rusko after the two were introduced at an away game against Caersws in 2010. Although his

album is a work in progress, it is set to feature his breakthrough track “Socks Down Dub”, and a nod to his headed goal in the Conference Play-Off Final in the hard and heavy “Britannia Breakdown”.

Morley told the Doncaster Comet; “Dubstep has long been my true calling, when [Bangor manager] Nev Powell is delivering teamtalks most often all I’m hearing is heavy beats and ‘ting, you get me bruv?”

a football fanzine for the likes of Doncaster | Aug/Sep 2013 | PS65 | 17

EIGHT DEGREES OF FANDOM AS THE NEW SEASON BEGINS TONY GREENALL ASKS WHAT KIND OF ROVERS FAN ARE YOU? With the 2013-14 season looming over us like a Stuart Hall commentary, Rovers fans of all shapes, sizes and attitudes are preparing for the 2014 World Cup Finals in Brazil with a season of Championship Football.

In the meantime let’s take a look at those shapes, sizes and attitudes.

Just who supports Doncaster Rovers? The 1,500 away, the 8,000 at home or the 13,000 who decided an afternoon in Stoke-on-Trent was a wise choice?

1.

THE INDIFFERENT FAN This fan isn’t that bothered. Grew up in Bentley and can’t be arsed to jump on a train to Sheffield, so Rovers it is. Bought a shirt once but it went pink in the wash.

Thinks Paul Goodwin is great in his neighbour ’s copy of the Free Press.

2.

THE TWITTER TEEN Has only followed Rovers after the pretty girl in Geography had a photo taken with David Cotterill in the Crown at Bawtry. Since then has became an expert on all players to have played for the club since March 2013 and will troll anyone who doesn’t agree. Made a Europa League Semi Final with Derry City on Football Manager, so knows what he’s on about.

3.

THE HISTORIAN Has watched Rovers since Tom Keetley was a lad. Bernard Glover is a style guru and once sat next to Kevin Keegan on the 845 to Scunthorpe. Writes articles for esteemed publications such as this one on how corner kicks were pivotal to Stan Anderson’s use of 4-4-2.

18 | PS65 | Aug/Sep 2013 | a football fanzine for the likes of Doncaster

4.

THE WALKING DEAD

6.

THE PERPETUAL PESSIMIST

These are the true madmen.

They won’t hear a bad word said against Rovers. DRFC were at home and you went to your Grandma’s funeral? How dare you when Dickov needs your support?

Often teenagers who think Louis Tomlinson looks better than Cotts in shorts.

This fan does nothing but complain, ut has no idea who Brian Clough was. Ryan is a chancer, Sharp is a Blunt, whichever goalie we start with can’t catch a cold.

5.

THE BRIAN CLOUGH That bloke during Dennis Peacock’s testimonial against Forest who hurled abuse at Brian Clough. Him. He sits behind you questioning the value of players in the modern game before calling Praise Or Grumble on Radio Sheffield.

7.

THE FAMILY FAN Rovers love little more than a family. Led by the Dad trying hard, they’re all intimidated by the crowd and their insistence that the bopposition masturbate frequently. £3 a programme worried them further.

8.

THE HIPSTER You’re reading this aren’t you?

TG

KEEP UP WITH POPULAR STAND BETWEEN ISSUES

WE’RE ON MORE CHANNELS THAN CAROL VORDERMAN, KEEP UP WITH THE FANZINE ALL YEAR ROUND VIA OUR WEBSITE & SOCIAL MEDIA

WEBSITE

popularstand.wordpress.com

INSTAGRAM

instagram.com/popularstand

FACEBOOK

‘Like’ Popular STAND

GOOGLE+

Add popular STAND’s circle

TWITTER

@vivarovers

PINTEREST

pinterest.com/popularstand

a football fanzine for the likes of Doncaster | Aug/Sep 2013 | PS65 | 19

VOICE OF THE POP SIDE SENT TO NORTHAMPTON; JOHN COYLE LOOKS AT THE CLOSE SEASON CRISIS THAT HAS BESET COVENTRY CITY Sunday 28th December 1997. A black day in a bleak time for Doncaster Rovers as the patchwork team was hammered 8-0 by Leyton Orient on their way to relegation from the Football League. On that very same day Coventry City were beating Premier League leaders Manchester United 3-2 at their old Highfield Road ground on their way to an eventual finish of 11th in the top flight in one of their best seasons in years. Today, the fortunes of the respective clubs look very different indeed. Rovers are back in the Championship after a brief stay in League One, but Coventry languish in League One with the prospect of playing their home fixtures at Northampton Town’s Sixfields Stadium, a 70-mile round trip from Coventry.

Rovers’ fans of a certain age don’t always think too kindly of Coventry City, largely because after that 199798 season the Coventry board snapped up a young prospect called Robert Betts who had played in the last three League games of the season for Rovers on schoolboy forms. Coventry tried to wriggle out of paying compensation for Betts, and only some intense lobbying by John Ryan forced the Sky Blues to pay up. The Coventry board was chaired by Brian Richardson, no relation of Uncle Ken, though Coventry fans have as many reasons to curse the name Richardson as do Rovers’ devotees. It was Richardson who made the decision that Coventry should leave their compact, inner-city Highfield

Road home, which they owned, and move into a new, 30,000+ capacity arena on the edge of the city that they didn’t own. Even though Highfield Road was seldom bursting at the seams, even in City’s palmy Premier League days, Richardson took the “build it and they’ll come” approach, though by the time they had built it, City were no longer in the Premier League and gates had fallen. It was a recipe for disaster and by 2007 Coventry City were on the brink of administration.

They were rescued, in part, by a shadowy hedge fund named SISU. For a time it was unclear why such an organisation would want to own a struggling Championship club with few tangible assets or sources of income.

However, events of the last 12 months have brought matters into sharper focus. SISU, as owners of the football club, refused to pay rent- set at a whopping annual £1M, to the stadium’s owners and eventually the football club was forced into administration.

At that point, the football club upped sticks and moved their offices and shop out of the Ricoh Arena and after the end of the season announced that they wouldn’t be playing at the Ricoh this coming season. Since then they have, so far, rejected offers from the stadium owners to negotiate a rental deal for 2013-14 and ignored offers from third parties to pay some or all of the season’s rent.

20 | PS65 | Aug/Sep 2013 | a football fanzine for the likes of Doncaster

Although Coventry City’s owners claim to be acting in the best interests of the football club by refusing to pay what they consider to be an exorbitant and unrealistic rent, their refusal to negotiate or to pay what they feel is a fair rent suggests a possible alternative agenda. Perhaps they believe that without an anchor tenant that the Ricoh Arena, which receives the revenue from matchday car parking and catering sales, will become unsustainable. SISU have tried to purchase the Arena in the past but have been rebuffed. Maybe they believe that by taking the football club away from Coventry and leaving the Arena under-utilised they will force it into liquidation and then be able to acquire it at a knock-down price. Sadly there are victims in this political gameplaying, and these are the Coventry fans, many of whom have steadfastly refused to travel to Northampton to watch their team in 2013-14.

Coventry fans’ ire is also directed at the Football League, and with good reason. On 8th July the League issued a statement in which they “reluctantly approved” the application of Coventry City to play at Sixfields for the next three seasons. They regretted that the club’s owners were unable to reach an arrangement with the Arena. However, this came less than a month after the League’s own website reported an offer from the Arena’s management company to let Coventry City play at the Ricoh at no annual rent, with only the costs of staging matches being passed on.

The question is, what action did the League take, if any, to try to ensure that Coventry played their matches in their home city in 2013-14?

Did they attempt to broker a deal between the parties, or did they merely stand on the sidelines and accept the word of the club’s

owners that there was no prospect of a deal with the Arena? In the circumstances, the claim by League Chairman Greg Clarke that “The Football League believes that clubs should play in the towns and cities from which they take their name” will ring rather hollow in the ears of many a Coventry fan. And let’s not forget, the Football League has “previous” for allowing clubs to relocate. They did not lift a finger to prevent Wimbledon from being moved to Milton Keynes and as far back as the 1920s were quite prepared to see Huddersfield Town moved lock, stock and barrel to Leeds, which temporarily found itself without a football club following the demise of Leeds City.

At the time of writing, it is difficult to know how the situation at Coventry will play out. The owners of the club seem determined to ignore any overtures from the Arena, although matters are complicated still by the fact that the Arena, as the club’s main creditor, can ultimately determine whether the club can come out of administration via a CVA. If they reject the CVA, further points deductions or even liquidation may follow. With many fans refusing to travel to Northampton, the club owners face heavy losses and despite their plans to move the club to another site in or around Coventry within three to five years, they may decide enough is enough. There is a real prospect that a club that played in the Premier League just over a decade ago may go out of business.

Who would have thought, back in December 1997 that Coventry City, not Doncaster Rovers, would be the club whose future hangs in the balance?

JC

a football fanzine for the likes of Doncaster | Aug/Sep 2013 | PS65 | 21

DONNY R’SONISTS A WRITE-UP OF THE DONNY R’SONISTS’ EXPLOITS IN JULY’S ANNUAL WORLDNET SUPPORTERS TEAM TOURNAMENT

Ever since 1998 the summer has always meant exactly the same to the Donny R’sonists; sunburn, hangovers, and trying to kid ourselves that we can still play football. Just as the German language has compound words to convey multiple facets coming together, this too can be summed up in one word; WorldNET. For the uninitiated WorldNET is an annual 11-a-side football tournament for supporters’ teams. It runs on a World Cup model with group stages on the Saturday and knockout rounds on the Sunday and has done since its formation in 1996. The R’sonists made their bow at the end of Doncaster’s annus horiblis in 1998 and have represented Rovers at every

tournament since, only two other sides have been attending for longer.

This year’s event was held at the University of Central Lancashire in Preston and it began well for the R’sonists with goalkeeper Liam Scully selected to play in the England v Scotland fans exhibition game on the Friday night. Liam kept a clean sheet for his half, but it all seemed to fall apart without him as Scotland rallied from 2-0 down to win 3-2.

As a team things would not be gin quite as brightly for the R’sonists as they found themselves trailing to Port Vale inside a minute of their opening game. Though they put up a brave fight with goals from Andy Sheldrake,

22 | PS65 | Aug/Sep 2013 | a football fanzine for the likes of Doncaster

Alan Cullingworth and Rob White. It wasn’t quite enough as Vale remained in front throughout and won 4-3. Next up for the R’sonists were Bury ‘B’ and a much better performance in an even game saw Donny triumph 1-0 as 16 year-old Ben Cullingworth struck his first R’sonists goal just before the break, though the highlight was arguably a deft turn from man of the match Louis Bailey.

The final group game pitched the R’sonists against brand new opponents in the form of a young Wrexham team.

A very enjoyable match played in great spirit was won 2-0 by the R’sonists; Andy Harriman nodding in a cross from the veteran Alan Brown to open the scoring before Rob Farrer secured 2nd place in the group a minute later.

On to Sunday’s knockout stages then and a first round tie on a vast pitch (lengthened and widened for Blackpool’s pre-season training) against more new opponents in the form of Stoke Ramblers. Though the Midlands side went ahead the R’sonists settled into it and an equaliser from Andy Harriman took the game to golden goal extra-time.

With nothing between the sides it went on to penalties and Donny remained cool from the spot to triumph 4-1.

The quarter finals followed with the R’sonists facing Vale once again; this time though Doncaster knew what to expect and two first half goals, one from Ben Cullingworth followed by an excellent team goal delicately chipped in by Farrer, won the game. It wasn’t all plain sailing though as Vale hit a post and had an effort cleared off the line by Louis Bailey as the R’sonists held on for 2-0.

So to the semi- final, and one of the favourites Crystal Palace. An already threadbare R’sonists squad were without Rob White who pulled a hamstring in the final minute against Vale whilst captain Glen Wilson was playing with a fractured rib suffered against Stoke. Against a considerably fitter Palace side it became a case of damage limitation with the Londoners eventually winning 3-0. Still there was no shame in it for the R’sonists wo in reaching the semis matched their best ever performance whilst also exceeding expectations in a tournament where we always prioritise enjoyment over success.

GW

THIS ISSUE STEVE IS...

Exaggerating his fishing prowess a football fanzine for the likes of Doncaster | Aug/Sep 2013 | PS65 | 23

TO LINDUM AND BACK WILL IRISH EYES BE SMILING? CHRIS KIDD LOOKS AT THE RUMOURED INVESTMENT FROM AN IRISH CONSURTIUM As hysteria sweeps Doncaster it’s hard not to feel a little bit uneasy about media reports suggesting Rovers are going to be the subject of additional investment or a takeover.

The source of this proposed funding appears to be an Irish Consortium, possibly linked to Westferry, and also possibly something to do with the Irish billionaire Denis O’Brien.

Nothing to be worried about I hear you cry, what can possibly be harmful to the club if someone is willing to throw money at it?

O’Brien is best known for part funding Giovanni Trapattoni’s wages in his current role as the Ireland football manager and is also a minority shareholder at Scottish giants Celtic. One has to wonder what the attraction is investing in a club like Doncaster Rovers, a club which currently resides in the Championship and can hope to pull in crowds on average of 9,000 – 10,000 over the course of the coming season. O’Brien isn’t unknown to Rovers though, far from it. He was part of the Westferry group which purchased Doncaster Rovers in 1998 from then owners Dinard and curiously still own the trading name Doncaster Rovers Football Club.

Of course back then the perceived interest in the club was the former home, Belle Vue. At the time

Westferry has essentially saved Rovers from the grasps of Dinard.

In John Ryan, the man at the helm for fifteen years now, Rovers have a Chairman like no other up and down the football pyramid. He’s the man who gave the club everything and continues to do so; a future navigating uncertain waters without him will exist one day but is the time really right? As the captain of the successful ship Danum, JR has made very few bad decisions in his tenure as Chairman and has guided the club to arguably its greatest ever decade and a half. With a supporter at the top of the company hierarchy you know, as a fellow supporter, that he will never put the club’s future or best interests in danger.

Yet there will be a day where he seeks suitable new recruits to take on the mantle he has made his own but is the time right? Selfishly I think not. Unfortunately when competing in the Championship his wealth alone is minute compared to the big clubs of yesteryear who not only have big crowds and commercial assets to bring in money but many of whom have the fabled parachute payments to support them for at least three years.

24 | PS65 | Aug/Sep 2013 | a football fanzine for the likes of Doncaster

How on earth can a club the size of Doncaster Rovers compete in a pool so big? Amazingly they did for four years before stacking all the eggs firmly in one basket and going for broke on the hair-brained scheme of Willy McKay. I guess they had to try it, everything else was failing and in some ways it was maybe the only option left, but most of us knew it was doomed to failure. So the only solution is to find worthy financial backers who are willing and able to provide extended funds beyond what JR and the KM2 can currently offer.

Of course the worry is that the funding is too grand. For well over ten years we have seen what throwing money at a football club can do; even if at first the results seem good, in the long term the same cannot often be said. If there is one thing John Ryan knows it is how to run a football club sustainably. It’s like renewable energy; we all aspire to believing it’s a good idea but it reaches a point where it just can’t compete with a coal burning power station for pure output. And there you have it, Rovers have had all the tidal, wind and solar power they can muster

trying to compete within their means, but in the Championship there are just too many Nuclear, Coal and Gas power stations that eventually blow us away.

One thing seems certain, by the time this issue makes the stands of the Keepmoat on Saturday 3rd August the winds of change will have swept through the Lakeside area of Doncaster. The best outcome Rovers fans can hope for is that whatever happens John Ryan remains at the top of the tree to spearhead any new ownership group that breezes into the boardroom. At least then we can still be relatively certain that despite vast amounts of money being available, JR will be very, very prudent with it and know exactly the best way to use it whilst keeping long-term risk to the club at a minimum.

All this considered and I’m still pinching myself that we returned to the Championship at the first time of asking with such a skeleton squad and in such dramatic circumstances, though I will leave that for others to muse over. RTID.

CJK

a football fanzine for the likes of Doncaster | Aug/Sep 2013 | PS65 | 25

BLOWING MY OWN TRUMPET EDITOR GLEN WILSON ROUNDS UP WHAT HAS BEEN A PORTENTOUS SUMMER FOR THE DONCASTER BELLES

As the Doncaster Belles have discoverd this summer the Football Association is a stubborn beast. No matter how much logic and reasoning and ethical decency you take to them you will discover that their decision has already been made and that an appeal process is nothing more than a box-ticking exercise.“Accountable to our members? Yep, we had that appeal remember, nice one, tick that off then”. The FA has decided what is good for the game, and it doesn’t matter what you, I, or thousands of people with first-hand experience of the sport think. Football must be progressed, and whilst that happens, all sense of reasoning and sporting ethics can be swept aside as the body tasked with governing the game puts pound signs over personal involvement.

Had the worse come to pass in 1998 the Doncaster Belles may well have been all we had left for our football in this town. Whilst the Rovers experienced the worst that late 90s football could throw at a club the Belles had flourished; twice double-winners, a selfsufficient club with a local focus of which the rest of their sport was envious. Their trophy trail may have tailed off in the last decade, but they’ve never left the top flight, and have remained at the forefront of the women’s game. Until now; one game into the current season when the FA decided they were no longer wanted, and they were duly demoted.

The subsequent appeal against that decision, was dismissed in the summer, buried at lunchtime on a busy sporting Saturday.

to offer the club a licence to compete in the top domestic women’s league from the 2014 season onwards…

The decision by the selection panel not to offer the club an FA WSL1 license was due primarily to them being unable to satisfactorily meet minimum facility requirements, alongside further concerns on their commercial and marketing strategies.

That ‘facility requirements’ are cited may seem surprising given that the Keepmoat Stadium is a ground much more advanced than all other current FA Super League venues, and was also chosen as the host venue for this season’s FA Women’s Cup Final. However, it is not the quality of the stadium that is being called into question, but the priority of usage; whilst most teams ground-share, the Belles are the only side in a triangular agreement.

But at the time of the FA’s announcement on next season’s FA WSL structure this had only become an issue for concern once, in September last year, when a change in the Rugby League fixtures produced a clash between a home game for Doncaster RLFC and Belles match with Birmingham. Is that one fixture crossover really just cause to end twenty-two years of participation in the top flight? The FA seem to think so, despite the club passing this section of the FAWSL application criteria in both the first and second stage of assessment, this was reversed to a fail following an interview process in March. In the FA’s 38 page document on this case there is a section on this, and it would appear the FA ‘s main concern is not down to staging, but actually the option to screen the club’s games as part of a television agreement.

Following a hearing this week in front of an Independent Appeals Panel, The FA can confirm that Doncaster Rovers Belles FC has been unsuccessful in its appeal to retain its place in FA WSL1 following a decision not 26 | PS65 | Aug/Sep 2013 | a football fanzine for the likes of Doncaster

“[The FA] also heard from Ms. Guest how arrangements with television broadcasters and other commercial partners would require applicants to show their use of a Grade A ground throughout the playing season could be guaranteed… The Belles were unable to give the Selection Panel that assurance, either in relation to the Keepmoat Stadium, or their alternative ground at Castle Park. There was no evidence hat the Club advanced any kind of case to show that it could commit to regular evening kick-offs, at 6pm or any other time.”

newly-affluent club that might enter the application process. If he said something to the effect that he looked forward to, or would welcome, an application from a newly affluent club, because of the financial benefits that it would bring to the women’s game, that simply reflects one of the objectives of the ‘Game Changer’ initiative, namely to establish a financially sustainable semi-professional women’s game. No-one could properly accuse Mr. Game of having an improper ulterior motive on that ground.

So in terms of advancing women’s football, whilst the Belles weekend kick-offs may be accessible to their fan base and their community, there is a slim chance they may not necessarily fit in with future and idealistic television schedules, so, you know, the FA had no option really.

No. No, of course they couldn’t. I for one welcome our new financially stoked overlords without any hint of an ulterior motive relating to the perceived amount of money they will bring to the game. Now, show me the money… make it rain Sheikh Mansour… make it rain.

It is a minor sticking point and one which hardly seems to justify placing the Belles in the division below. Stadium usage in itself is an odd issue for the FAWSL, particularly when you consider Chelsea, Liverpool, and Birmingham all play home matches a sizable distance from the city or area that bear their name. Surely a fixture clash once every three years is a better scenario for the growth of the game than playing every match thirty miles away (as Birmingham do at Stratford Town). Alas it seems not. After all, what use is a community football club serving its community when there’s peak time audience demographics in the commuter-belt to satisfy.

So what have we learnt? That ultimately the appeal that drew me to the women’s game in the first place in that is was far removed from the money-centric beurocratic hyperbole of the men’s game is no longer true. That the FA cannot be swayed in its decision making process, not by logic, not by sporting integrity, not by widespread opinion. I have absolutely no confidence in football’s governing body.

None whatsoever. Nothing involving the teams in my town has given me assurances that they actually care about football as a sport. Fuck their respect campaigns and their glossy PDFs about strategy and five-year plans because until they practice what they preach they are the 50ft portrait hanging over the town’s main square; the omnipresent lawmaker that ultimately doesn’t give a shit about how their decisions affect you.

There is more in that document, more that shows you the ridiculousness of what football has become, and how it will always be pointless to question the FA’s logic. They The Belles will play out this season. They are a law unto themselves lurching on the have ten games still to play in the Women’s precipice of self-parody. Consider the following Super League, each as irrelevant as the next. from the Appeal Document… 6.3 (v). We How do you motivate players, or supporters, are not therefore satisfied, on the balance of or sponsors to commit to them? Attendances probabilities, that there is any reliable evidence will inevitably dip, results will most likely go before us from which we can can make a against them, and come September the FA will properly informed decision as to what precisely use all this as justification that their decision Mr. Game said, still less that he said anything was the right one. You’d have gone down to Mr. Guest to show bias, or the appearance of anyway they’ll say, and they will never, never bias, in favour of Manchester City, or any other get it. a football fanzine for the likes of Doncaster | Aug/Sep 2013 | PS65 | 27

2013-14 SEASON PREDICTIONS IT IS OFTEN SAID THAT ONLY FOOLS MAKE PREDICTIONS SO WE’VE SOUGHT THE OPINIONS OF FIVE OF THEM It wouldn’t be the first issue of a new season with out us jutting out our necks like giraffes in a photo finish. So to try and shoulder the blame, not one but five of our motley crew have come together to give their predictions for Rovers in 201314, in response to eleven questions which cut to the very heart of Rovers related issues. Ok, we’ve not touched on entrance music, but otherwise we’ve covered all bases.

1. WHERE WILL DONCASTER ROVERS FINISH THIS SEASON? Mike Follows: 18th Chris Kidd: Can’t see anything above 4th from bottom (which would please me greatly!).

Jack The Miner: The last time we went up I crossed my fingers and hoped. This time I think there is a bit more steel in the side and I don’t think we’ll get cut adrift and I think we’ll stay up, just.

John Coyle: 18th.

Glen Wilson: The optimist in me says 20th, the pessimist has been sat at the foot of the stairs drinking gin since 8am… again

2. HOW WILL ROVERS FAIR IN THE LEAGUE CUP? MF: I really don’t care! 3rd Round.

CK: 3rd round and will probably lose to Notts County.

JTM: Badly. For once I won’t mind if we put out a second string and go

out early.

JC: Out in 2nd round.

GW: Second round defeat away to lower-end Premier League team

3. HOW WILL ROVERS DO IN THE F.A. CUP? MF: We’re well overdue a run of some sort. 5th Round CK: I’m optimistic with Dickov’s recent exploits in the F.A Cup, we’ll make the third round.....oh wait, we make that automatically.

JTM: Law of averages says we’re due a change of luck and go a long way for a change but our luck will run out big time with a quarter final defeat to a last minute penalty from a clear Suarez/Bale/ Van Persie dive.

JC: Out in 4th round.

GW:We never make the fifth round; fourth round replay.

4. WHO WILL FINISH AS ROVERS’ TOP GOALSCORER? MF: David Cotterill CK: Billy Sharp?

JTM: Billy Paynter JC: Chris Brown GW: Dean Furman

5. WILL PAUL DICKOV STILL BE ROVERS MANAGER THIS TIME NEXT YEAR? MF: Yes CK: Yes, I think, although the outcome of a possible takeover may

28 | PS65 | Aug/Sep 2013 | a football fanzine for the likes of Doncaster

impact upon that.

JTM: Yes, if JR is in the driving seat.

JC: Yes GW: Aye, not really sure why we included this question to be honest.

6. WHICH ROVERS SIGNING (POSSIBLY YET TO BE MADE) WILL MAKE THE BIGGEST IMPACT THIS SEASON? MF: Although he’ll be missing for the first couple of months at least, I think Marc de Val has shown real quality in pre-season so I’ll go for him.

CK: Billy or Shay (wait and see what happens I guess). Of those confirmed at the time of writing Forrester or Fernandez.

JTM: Richie Wellens, if he’s anywhere near the player he was.

They say you should never go back but Sir Alick, Alan Warboys, Tim Ryan and Chris Brown proved it can work second time around. JC: Harry Forester.

GW:At the time of writing a senior goalkeeper, any goalkeeper, would make a very significant impact, not least on the laundry bill for young Jon Maxted’s undergarments

7. AT WHICH HOME GAME WILL ROVERS BE BOOED OFF THE KEEPMOAT PITCH FOR THE FIRST TIME? MF: Blackburn at half time.

CK: Brighton on November 2nd.

JTM: I don’t know, but it’s a cast iron certainty when we play Yeovil JC: Bournemouth, after first home defeat of the season.

GW:Half-time against Bournemouth, with the score at nil nil.

8. IF THE IRISH CONSORTIUM DOES COME TO FRUITION WHICH PLAYER WILL BE THE MOST OUTLANDISH SIGNING ROVERS MAKE? MF: Billy Sharp on a three year deal.

CK: Shay Given JTM: Paul Heffernan.

JC: It won’t, but let’s say Robbie Keane.

GW: The return of Paul Green, which isn’t actually all that outlandish, so let’s say The Edge

9. WHAT WILL BE THE MOST CRINGEWORTHY THING JOHN RYAN COMES OUT WITH THIS SEASON? MF: When I took over I promised to get the Rovers back to the Championship, but let me tell you, our ambitions are now way above that. With the rub of the green we’ll be in the Premier League this time next year.

CK: I think he will play it cool again like last season. Failing that the new motto could be ‘Destination Premiership’.

JTM: Any sentence that begins with the words ‘You know I had a dream about this...’

JC: Something to do with Doncaster people not turning out in sufficient numbers.

GW: JR has being playing it relatively cool in the past year, which would suggest he’s only one bad penalty decision away from all-out purple-faced combustion.

I reckon we could see a referee singled out in late March, with a a vastly inflated sum of how much money he may have cost the club used to beat the poor official with.

a football fanzine for the likes of Doncaster | Aug/Sep 2013 | PS65 | 29

2013-14 SEASON PREDICTIONS CONTINUED...

10. WHAT WILL BE THE MOST RIDICULOUS/TACKY ITEM SOLD IN THE ROVERS CLUB SHOP? MF: Flashing Viking horns despite the fact that our Viking has wings.

CK: Don’t really go in, I imagine you can buy Rovers toilet paper these days.

JTM: A DRFC Nativity set with Copps as baby Jesus, JR as one of the wise men and Carl Alford as the donkey.

JC: Replica Richie Wellens underpants.

GW: James Harper

11. END OF THE WORLD SWEEP; ON WHAT DATE WILL THE VSC MESSAGEBOARD IMPLODE DUE TO THE SHEER WEIGHT OF DOOM BEING MONGERED UPON IT?

MF: 14th October CK: About 6:30pm, 3rd August.

JTM: I thought that happened when M’voto signed for Barnsley. That news seemed to make so many people happy when it gave them the opportunity to have a dig at the club.

JC: In about 3-4 days time when it becomes clear the “Irish consortium/ takeover” will not happen.

GW: Chris beat me to the gag; mind I suspect the VSC messageboard will be something of a cockroach in an apocalypse, and even in Armageddon, there’ll be someone resolutely logging on the day after to complain about the lack of information on DROS as to whether the end of civilisation had impacted the club’s bid for Billy Sharp.

IN OFF THE POST-BAG

WE WERE RECENTLY SENT THIS DELIGHTFUL EXTRACT FROM CHAS E. SUTCLIFFE’S FORWARD TO THE 1923-24 ROVERS CLUB HANDBOOK. “....You must have support to get a team, yet you must have a team to bring support.

To sum up the position in one word, “Enterprise” is the only safe proposition.

How do we stand? Do you expect Doncaster Rovers to progress at other people’s expense or are you prepared to do your bit? In other words are you a spectator or a supporter?

You ask me what is the difference, simply this. A spectator expects to get all he pays for but a supporter pays without any idea of getting value for money, except may be in the dim and distant future. ...As supporters of the Club try and make Doncaster Rovers a name to be respected.

Be fair, even generous to the visiting players who have come to entertain you. Be fair, even generous, to the Referee. If he

makes mistakes, forget if you can, but forgive. You must be the best of sportsmen for they make the best supporters. Seek to get all you deserve but be sure to deserve all you get. Don’t be too critical and forget to grumble. The players will try to get to the top but remember there are twenty-one teams trying to keep them down. Help and encouragement is more profitable than criticism and grumbling.

We shall have a great season. If you want to get all the pleasure possible out of it look at both sides and take the game as entertainment. It is no disgrace to be beaten by a better team, but it is a disgrace to turn your backs on players who need your encouragement and on a Club which needs your support.”

30 | PS65 | Aug/Sep 2013 | a football fanzine for the likes of Doncaster

WINDMILLS OF YOUR MIND FROM WITHIN HIS UNDERGROUND BUNKER IN THE LOW COUNTRIES DUTCH UNCLE LOOKS BACK AT LAST SEASON Last season was a remarkable one for many reasons. In my opinion it was the most successful season in the club’s entire history in terms of exceeding realistic pre-season expectations. We were relegated in 2011-12 in some considerable disarray, and were left with a potentially damaging legacy of many high wage player contracts from Championship seasons which were clearly going to be unaffordable in League One in the (theoretically at least) new era of Football Financial Fair Play (shame no-one told Portsmouth and Coventry). Many level headed supporters were afraid that balancing the books would necessitate a season of struggle and consolidation at best. Even John Ryan, the most irrationally optimistic of all supporters, was unusually quiet and sanguine in his prognoses.

Last season’s title winning success is truly a great credit to all the club’s management and players. I can only recall two other seasons where we significantly exceeded most pre-season expectations. The first was 2003-4 when we steamrollered our way to winning the Division 3 title following our promotion from the Conference, and when many uninformed journalists were predicting immediate relegation - but at least we had real momentum going into that season. The other season was 1983-4 when Billy Bremner was able to regroup from a disappointing relegation from Division 3 to 4 in 1982-3 with a promotion

winning season and a runners-up spot to take us back to level 3.

But there were many other statistical highlights from last season, some of which are grouped below:

FOOTBALL LEAGUE RECORDS First club to win 7 Championships at Level 3 and 4.

First ex Conference club to become champions at Level 3.

Top ex Conference club for a fifth consecutive season.

First ex Conference team to win promotion to Level 2 on two occasions - and still only the third team with Colchester and now Yeovil to achieve three promotions from Conference to Level 2 ~

CLUB LEAGUE ACHIEVEMENTS Highest League Championship Rovers have ever won beating the three won at regionalised Level 3 and the three won at Level 4 If one makes a fair comparison giving 3 points for a win in all 86 League and Conference seasons in the club’s history, it is the fourth best points tally ever.

a football fanzine for the likes of Doncaster | Aug/Sep 2013 | PS65 | 31

A new club record of 12 away league matches unbeaten was set. The two previous occasions were the 11 away games during the club record 20 league game unbeaten run in 1968-69, and the first 11 away games of the incredible first post war 1946-47 season when we won 18 of our 21 away matches in the league. Actually we were unbeaten in our last 6 away matches of the last full season before the war – 1938-39 – so there is a case for saying we were unbeaten away in 17 games (by the way 2 away games were lost in the aborted 1939-40 season - but these results were annulled).

It was the second best away record in the club’s history behind the Football League all-comers record we set in the above 1946-7 season when we won 18, drew 1 and lost only 2 of our 21 away matches.

Interestingly the two away losses that season were at second placed Rotherham and at bottom placed club Halifax - so maybe our loss at Bury was not as surprising as might be thought at first.

It was also the second most away wins in a season for the club, after 1946-7, and beating the previous second best of 11 in 2002-3 in the Conference.

The 21 goals conceded in away matches was the fewest goals conceded away from home in a season in the club’s history, beating the previous record of 22 in 1968-9 - the significance of that Brentford crossbar just seems to be endless.

It is only the 5th time in those 86 seasons that we have had a better record away from home than at home, and of those seasons, this has by some way the largest difference. Two of the

other 4 seasons with better away records were also title-winning seasons (1946-7 and 1949-50). On two occasions we have had equal home and away records (counting with the old 2 points per win) the most recent being the season we won the Conference playoffs.

On the other side of the coin it was by far our worst home record in a title winning season, indeed it is actually worst home record by any championship winning side in any of the Divisions of the Football League since it started in 1888.

Everton, Champions of Division 1 in 1914-15, is the only occasion a championship winning team came close with 8 wins, 5 draws and 6 defeats in their 19 home games played. At 2 points per win Everton’s points per game was 1.105 compared with Rovers 1.087, or at 3 points a win Everton scored 1.526 as opposed to Rovers 1.522. Of course it could be said that Everton had the minor distraction of the Great War running in parallel to their season.

Our 8 Home games lost is a new all time Football League record for home games lost by a Championship winning side. The previous record was the 6 by Everton above, equalled by Carlisle in League Two in 2005-6. There have been 6 occasions of 5 Home games lost, including Doncaster Rovers when winning Division 3 North in 1934-5.

The fewest number of home games won in a Championship season was the 8 (out of 19) by Everton above, (although equalled by Preston in 1889-90, but they only played 11 Home games that season). For a season with 21 or more home games the fewest number of Home wins by a Championship winning team was 9... by Doncaster

32 | PS65 | Aug/Sep 2013 | a football fanzine for the likes of Doncaster

Rovers in 1949-50 (Won 9 Drew 9 lost 3). Our 10 Home games won last season was a new Football League record low for Home wins for a Championship winning team in a season with 23 matches.

As a comparison, we had significantly better home records in both our first two seasons in Division 3 (1958-9 and 1966-7) and we were relegated comfortably in both seasons!

All of this suggests the trend for Rovers always to ‘win things the hard way’ is not new.

First time in history we have remained above the Football League’s bottom tier for ten successive seasons; the previous best was the 9 seasons from 1950-51 to 1958-9 in old Divisions 2 and 3. ~

GOALSCORING ACHIEVEMENTS First time since 2003-4, and only second since 1989-90, that we had two or more players scoring more than 10 league goals in a season.

Chris Brown joins the following three elite groups of Rovers goalscorers; Brown is the 8th player to score for Rovers at 3 different league levels. He joins Jimmy Fletcher, Alick Jeffrey, Greg Blundell, Paul Green, Mark Albrighton, Steve Foster and Ron Walker) Brown is the 5th player to score for Rovers in 3 different cup competitions in the same season. He joins Graeme Jones, Colin Cramb, Mark McCammon and Brian Stock (James Hayter also scored in the League, 2 cups and the playoffs in 2007-8).

Brown is the 3rd player to score for Rovers in 6 or more competitions; Football League tiers 2,3 and 4, FA Cup, League Cup and now Associate Members’ Cup). He joins Brian Stock (Football League tiers 2 and 3, FA Cup, League Cup, AMC and Play-Offs) and Paul Green (Football League tiers 3 and 4, Football Conference, League Cup, AMC, Conference Playoffs and Football Association Trophy).

When Billy Paynter scored two goals at Crewe this was the first personal double for Rovers in 59 league games, the previous double being by Mamadou Bagayoko at Leeds in 2011-12. This is the second longest such sequence in the club’s history, the longest being the 66 matches between Steve Richards’ double at Halifax in 1992-3 and O’Neil Donaldson’s double against Colchester in 1994-5. ~

ATTENDANCES The 23 home league matches attracted a total of 166,496 spectators at an average of 7,239. The highest was 12,785 against Sheffield United and the lowest was 5,411 against Crewe. This is a little lower than the average of 7,978 during our last promotion season in 2007-8.

This means since we returned to the league in 2003 we have had 10 successive seasons of attendance averages over 6,000. The last time this was the case was back in the 1950s.

The 23 away league matches attracted a total of 151,536 spectators at an average of 6,589. The highest was 17,925 against Sheffield United and the lowest was 3,229 at Carlisle.

a football fanzine for the likes of Doncaster | Aug/Sep 2013 | PS65 | 33

INTERNATIONALS Iain Hume became Rovers’ first international for Canada.

And Dean Furman became Rovers’ first international for South Africa

(i.e. earning a cap whilst at Rovers) ~

MISCELLANEOUS When Michael Woods entered the pitch as a late substitute in the FA Cup tie against Bradford Park Avenue he joined his two non-related namesakes Gary and Martin, thus providing Rovers with three players of the same surname on the pitch at the same time for the first time since Geoff, Jimmy and Ron Walker played in a Division 2 League match at the City Ground in Nottingham on 26 March 1955, the last of 6 such occurrences. The only other occasions were in the 1920’s when brothers Tom and Harold Keetley played twice with brother Joe and 15 times with brother Frank.

The first time in our history that we have finished a league season higher than Portsmouth. The only other teams we have never finished higher than at the end of a season are Arsenal, Aston Villa, Birmingham, Blackburn, Liverpool, Middlesborough, Manchester City, Newcastle, Stoke, Sunderland and West Brom. Chelsea and Tottenham were not league clubs in 1901-2 when we played our first league season, but since they came into the League we have never finished higher than them.

James Coppinger ended the season with 319 league appearances putting him in 7th position on the Rovers all-time list behind leader Fred Emery with 417, and 363 appearances in all competitions putting him 6th place behind leader Colin Douglas with 468.

Chris Brown, with his 22 appearances in 2003-4 and 36 appearances in 2012-3 became only the 6th player in Rovers history to play in 2 Championship winning teams after Sid Bycroft (41 appearances in 1946-7 & 42 appearances in 1949-50), Paul Todd (40 in 1946-7 & 42 in 1949-50), Bert Tindill (9 in 1946-7 & 42 in 194950), Alick Jeffrey (38 in 1965-6 & 25 in 1968-69) and Bob Gilfillan (29 in 1965-6 & 34 in 1968-69)

Caveat - no figures quoted in this article are official. Dutch Uncle uses many sources including club handbooks, Rothmans/Sky annuals, and best of all the official Rovers history by Bluff & Watson. For definitive data the reader is referred to Tony Bluff and/or Barry Watson.

34 | PS65 | Aug/Sep 2013 | a football fanzine for the likes of Doncaster

BW