Positive Transitioning - Appreciating the Small Things

Appreciating the Small Things

The Importance of Creating Boundaries Media We Love

Maine’s Reentry Resources

In This Issue It’s the Little Things August 2020 Letter from the Executive Director

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Word of the Month

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Maine Resources

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Media We Love

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Appreciating the Small Things

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The Importance of Creating Boundaries

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Letter from the Executive Director Here’s the understatement of the century: It looks like we’re going to be in this quarantine for a while. It’s hard not to feel stuck at home with the walls closing in on you. I wish I had the magic key to happiness during quarantine (for my sake and for yours), but this issue is helping you do the best that you can with what you’ve got.

We have an article on creating boundaries.

This is a different kind of challenge when home is where you work, learn, eat, relax, and socialize. And you might be trying to do all of that in the same home or building with others who are also trying to work, learn, eat, relax, and socialize.

Under the best or worst circumstances, our thoughts can grow so big without the usual outlets to decompress. So, we included an article about acknowledging the small happy things to provide a little freedom from stress.

We put together a list of five podcasts, five movies, and five tv shows that might bring you a little joy while we’re all hunkered down. It’s not a comprehensive list, just some ideas – some good ideas.

We hope you enjoy this issue.

Stay safe, Porche Proffit

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Masthead and Contributors Editor-in-Chief, Porche Proffit Editor, Ericka Foster

Contributors Contributing Editor, Lakia Goodman Writer, Maggie Allen Writer, Natalie Rodriguez-Steen Nutrition and dietician Isabella Dos Santos Art Director, Willow Wood Positive Transitioning Inc. is a non–profit organization that provides information and resources for individuals reentering the community after incarceration.

In addition to this magazine, Positive Transitioning Inc. offers a 24-hour Resource/Listening Line that services all 50 states. The Resource/Listening line is staffed by life coaches, and provides individuals with the immediate support and resources they may be needed during reentry.

Positive Transitioning Inc. also provides individuals life coaches that will assist them in every step of the reentry process: housing, education, employment, vocational training, obtaining government benefits, veteran assistance, medical management, sponsorship, financial stability, family reintegration, and legal assisting.

Currently Positive Transitioning Inc. is entirely web–based as we are hoping that this makes it easily accessible for anyone to access from anywhere.

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Word of the Month joy a feeling of great pleasure and happiness. “Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking.� ~Marcus Aurelius

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Maine Resources  Southern Maine Women's Re-entry Center maine.gov/corrections/facilities/wrc/index.htm Located in Cumberland County, the Southern Maine Re-entry Center is designed to give women the skills and experience they need to successfully live as positive citizens and employees after they transition from state correctional facilities into their home communities. The program uses gender-responsive principles as the foundation of all its programming and operations.  Restorative Justice Project communityalternatives.org/ The Restorative Justice Project provides restorative conferences for adult and juvenile offenders in Knox. Waldo. Lincoln and Sagadahoc Counties. The organization partners with the Maine Coastal Regional Reentry Center – a residential facility for men. In addition to community events and mentorship, the organization provides a five-week introductory course on Restorative Justice.  Esther Residence goodshepherdparish.us/esther-residence Esther Residence is for women age 20 or older. Participants must be drug and alcohol free, participate in household responsibilities, live with two other residents and three staff members, and participate in daily reflection sessions that are nondenominational. The organization partners with local churches. .

National Resources  American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) aclu.org/issues/prisoners-rights Prisoners’ rights to read, write, speak, practice their religion, and communicate with the outside world are often curtailed far beyond what is necessary for institutional security. Not only are these activities central to the ability of prisoners to retain their humanity, but they also contribute to the flow of information between prisons and the outside world and thus provide a vital form of oversight of these closed institutions.

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 CareerOneStop careeronestop.org/Site/american-job-center.aspx Located across the country, American Job Centers can help you look for work and offer job search workshops, free computer access, and more.  National Alliance on Mental Illness nami.org/ The purpose of NAMI Alabama is to provide support, education, and advocacy for persons with mental illnesses, their families, and others whose lives are affected mental health disorders.  National HIRE Network hirenetwork.org The goal of the National H.I.R.E. Network is to increase the number and quality of job opportunities available to people with criminal records by changing public policies, employment practices and public opinion.  National Reentry Resource Center (NRRC) nrrc.csgjusticecenter.org Funded and administered by the U.S. Department of Justice’s Bureau of Justice Assistance (BJA), the National Reentry Resource Center (NRRC) is the nation’s primary source of information and guidance in reentry.  U.S. Veterans Administration va.gov/ABOUT_VA/index.asp Most veterans who are in jail or prison will eventually reenter the community. VA’s HCRV program is designed to promote success and prevent homelessness among Veterans returning home after incarceration.  COVID-19 FAQs for the Public Housing, Housing Choice Voucher (HCV) (including the Project-based Voucher Program (PBV)) and Native American Programs hud.gov/sites/dfiles/PIH/documents/COVID19_FAQ_PIH_Final.pdf This is a FAQ that lists resources for individuals in public housing.

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Media We Love

By Ericka Foster

No matter where you are in the country, you may be sheltering-in-place, quarantined, on lockdown – some version of not leaving the house. You may be worried that you’ve reached the end of the internet. We’ve put together a short list of podcasts, television shows, and movies that might make you feel better.

Podcasts We Love Pop Culture Happy Hour – This was the inspiration for this article. The podcasts are short and light-hearted. The hosts cover the tv, movies, and music that everyone is talking about. The best part is that the hosts don’t take themselves seriously. So, this isn’t a high-brow conversation about the symbolism in Netflix’s Fatal Affair. It is a conversation on why The Floor is Lava feels good to watch during the quarantine.

Jemele Hill is Unbothered – You’ll likely remember Jemele Hill from ESPN’s SportsCenter and His&Hers. She interviews a cross-section of guests from John Legend and Lakeith Stanfield. Often, you’ll find out new and interesting things about her guests. She also includes commentary on current events in that kind of “around the way girl” style that made her so popular on ESPN. Ear Hustle – Entertainment takes all kinds of forms. There will be some people who find solace in listening to others’ experience while incarcerated. Nigel Poor cocreated Ear Hustle with Earlonne Woods and Antwan Williams who were incarcerated at the time. Earlonne and Antwan were released in 2019, and Rahsaan “New York” Thomas is the inside co-host of the program. The show is grim in that it is definitely about prison. However, it displays the humanity of the inmates, which makes it a must listen.

The Brilliant Idiots – If you like radio-style podcasts, you may enjoy this podcast

by Charlamagne tha God and Andrew Schultz. Charlamagne tha God is a popular New York (we had to mention it because it is a style) radio host, author, and Honorable Mentions • • •

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The Daily – a short podcast from the New York Times that asks the same thing you were wondering.

Death, Sex, and Money – conversations about the things that are hardest to discuss.

Michelle Obama Podcast – This isn’t a funny title. The former First Lady hosts a podcast

activist. Andrew Schultz is a popular comedian. This podcast lasts 1.5 to 2 hours.

Everyday Black Men – This podcast is hosted by three black men discussing what black men talk about. The subject run the gamut of Jada Pinkett Smith’s “entanglement” and Black Lives Matter. Riker, R.Reed, and Armstead are three selfproclaimed “every day” guys talking about what guys talk about.

Movies We Love In times of uncertainty, watching a comforting old movie – something that used to make you feel good can bring back memories of happiness. That’s why most of these movies are…not new. Whether or not your favorite movie is on the list, you should watch it the next time you have a couple of free hours.

There’s nothing like a pandemic and a social justice movement to make you feel like an underdog. Rocky is a classic tale of man vs. himself that still gets people fired up, although the original came out in 1976. If the first one doesn’t float your boat, there are seven to choose from, as well as two recent Creed movies.

In these times, it’s refreshing to watch good win out over evil. There is a spate of superhero movies to choose from.

One of the most popular recent superhero movies is Black Panther. As the people of Wakanda go out and fight for their honor, the story line feels a little close to home right now.

Don’t count out any animated movies, really. It’s nice to remember what it is like to be a kid. No shade if you like the updated version, but I’m talking about the original Lion King – with James Earl Jones and Hakuna Matata.

2020 Movies The Photograph – remember when we could get closer than 6 feet apart?

Bad Boys for Life – Best of both worlds: a new movie based on nostalgia.

The Way Back – If you liked Remember the Titans, Coach Carter this is up your alley.

Uncut Gems – Adam Sandler in a serious role in a chaotic movie also starring Kevin Garnett.

Birds of Prey – That comic book movie.

It was risky to put a romantic movie on this list, but everyone needs love. Love & Basketball is a cult classic that combines coming of age with romance. Sanaa Lathan, Omar Epps, and Mr. State Farm Dennis Haysbert star in this movie.

In his heyday in the ‘90’s, Eddie Murphy and Arsenio Hall created a movie about an African prince who travels to America to find his bride called Coming to America.

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Eddie Murphy and Arsenio Hall play several characters in this movie. Although some of the African stereotypes don’t hold up 32 years later, the jokes do. Sexual chocolate!

TV Shows There’s no way to pick just five shows.

By the time this goes to print, there may be a new “have-to-watch” show. We tried to pick shows from across the internet.

Ozark (Netflix) has three seasons of WTF am I watching that will have you on the edge of your seat. You will be angry, curious, vindicated, and surprised as you watch this.

Wu Tang changed the face of hip-hop. While their lyrical style holds up against much of the foolishness on the radio today (the previous comment from Ericka foster is the independent opinion of the author and not representative of Positive Transitioning, its affiliates or partners), they also demonstrated a business acumen that was revolutionary for hip-hop at its time. Wu-Tang has created a cult following that makes Wu-Tang: An American Saga (Hulu) as interesting today as it was back then.

This Is Us (NBC) is about family. We all have loved ones. They piss us off at the same time they are saving us from ourselves. To say that there will be happy endings is not exactly true, but, there is love.

And sometimes we need that too. This is Us is on NBC and you can find all the episodes on Hulu.

Teresa Mendoza is a survivor. On Queen of the South (USA/Netflix), you’ll watch her move through the ranks of drug cartel with strategy and sensitivity.

Just a few more: Pose (FX/Netflix) Mayans MC (FX/Hulu) Insecure (HBO) Friday Night Lights (Hulu).

Homecoming (Amazon Prime) is a mind-bending show that combines suspense with social commentary. The good news is that the show has two seasons of halfhour episodes, so you can binge watch all the episodes in one day if you hunker down. If you become obsessed with the show, check out the podcast of the same name that it is based upon.

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Appreciating the Small Things

By Ericka Foster Right around the time that the quarantine started, I started to wake up and notice silverfish on my living room ceiling. (I’m not going to include a photo them here, because …ew.)

Silverfish are relatively harmless – they don’t scurry and multiply like ants and cockroaches. They don’t sting or bite like bed bugs or bees. In fact, they kind of sit there, so I have time to get my stepladder and a shoe while it remains in the same place.

I’d wake up every morning, study the ceiling on my apartment, and murder it. In the scope of everything, it’s not a big deal.

But…during this quarantine, as my life becomes small, the issue of these silverfish has gotten quite big. Too big. Any of my loved ones who I have video called over the past three to four months has heard about these silverfish. I mean, you’re reading about them now.

Whatever your big or small problems during this quarantine, there are far less distractions of movies, socialization, eating out – FUN – to balance out our problems.

Instead of trying to “forget” about them, try to blow up the good things as big as the annoying things. So, on my morning walk, I obsess over the bunny rabbits.

The photo you see is of the actual sky.

It’s not you, it’s biology

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Humans have a natural tendency to focus on the negative. That mechanism is designed to keep us out of harm’s way. Certainly, if your health is threatened by COVID-19, you aren’t sure where your next check is coming from, the injustice is real, your need child care, you need food – it is HARD to get away from problems.

You can’t stop thinking about them because they keep coming for you. But isn’t that when it is most important to hold onto good things – even the small things? It becomes an emotional break from the bull.

If you spend 97% of your waking moments focusing on real things, why not relish that three percent? Additionally, you might have to go find that three percent.

Be present There are several intense ways to find gratitude – meditation, volunteering, prayer.

If things are already hard, starting a gratitude practice shouldn’t be one of them. In the photo, all I had to do get out of my head was look up. All you have to do is pay attention – truly pay attention. Sometimes, it means fully listening to the person who is talking to you – they may be especially funny, or especially insightful, or especially loving. A gut-busting belly laugh can turn your day around.

Show yourself some grace If the voices in your head are becoming louder, they may not always be nice. Gratitude isn’t just about belly laughs and blue skies. If you have endured incarceration, let’s say that you are resilient.

I’m grateful that I’m resilient is the reminder that you have what it takes to put your life back together.

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The Importance of Creating Boundaries

By Natalie Rodriguez-Steen As we are getting used to social distancing and quarantining, we have been forced to make adjustments to our daily lives to continue functioning while we live under one roof with our relatives, significant others, or roommates – all the time. When work, play, social, and family time all exist within the same space, we must create clear boundaries around our time and space. For those with children, the adjustment to working at home is difficult and requires navigation. A lack of sustainable income can also add to the stress of living at home during these uncertain times. Since we are all trying to maintain our lives and sanity within our new reality, here are a few ways we can create boundaries in order to do this.

Boundaries in shared living spaces: We have to remember that it is okay to take personal time away from the chaos. If you share your living space, that break can be necessary to your mental health. A clear divide on when you are taking personal time over time with your family or others is vital. You must decide for yourself what that boundary looks like and how it manifests itself but make sure to be clear when setting any boundary so that others understand the importance of the time “away” from the shared living area. For some this might be a walk alone, it could be some time to sleep or relax in bed, a time to watch a favorite tv show, or simply some time to take a bath. Regardless of what it looks like, these small divisions can be helpful to our mental health when we need to take a break from our shared space.

Boundaries with technology: Technological advances are wonderful and innovative for our lives during the pandemic. Sometimes we let the technology seep into our daily lives in unintentional ways – there is such a thing as too much technology.

Therefore, in the process of setting boundaries with our shared living space, we can also set boundaries with our virtual lives. These boundaries can include taking breaks from reading,

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watching, or listening to news stories on social media.

Pro tip: set the timer on Instagram. You will be notified after exceeding a time limit you set.

The boundaries can also include when we reply to texts, emails, or video/phone calls to friends, family, or partners. We should clearly and objectively state our boundaries with regards to when and how we reply to people. This might include giving people set times in which we would replyto their needs or it could be asking for space to reply to someone. Ultimately, the important part about setting boundaries with others is communicating what you need.

Boundaries with work/children: Similar to our creation of boundaries with technology, work requires boundaries.

Because work and technology are intertwined, the same kind of boundaries with technology are important to the creation of a set work time. there needs to be clear boundaries about working remotely. This could translate to setting boundaries about when you will reply to work emails or take calls. It may be easy for employers to assume that employees can be contacted 24/7 because they are working remotely and are at home all day. Conversely, you may be tempted to answer “one more email� before going to bed.

Setting up a space in the house that is designed for work may also be a helpful way of creating boundaries during working hours and as a way to distance yourself from it after work is done for the day. Don’t think that you need an entire room to create a work space. A few square feet (like in the photo) in a corner will work.

Similarly, school time for children requires boundaries, especially if the parents are working remotely at the same time. Setting clear schedules about when work needs to be accomplished, when you can help with homework, and when you can take a break to play will create consistency and maintain boundaries in the home. We hope that employers are receptive to your needs while working remotely. They must recognize that there needs to be flexibility and understanding about working with children at home..

Working, playing, teaching, and living in one space can be difficult and overwhelming. It is not an easy task so also remember to be easy on yourself and take time for yourself as well.

Sometimes the usual ways of relaxing and letting off steam are not available because of the closure of community spaces. You might use the time to find new ways to relax and help maintain a sense of normalcy. Take a walk, learn a new skill, call an old friend, or take up an old hobby.

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Final Thoughts…

As we’re watching our COVID numbers go up, it is becoming more apparent that sheltering-at-home, self- quarantines, and…lockdowns are going to be part of our routines.

I recently purchased a casual mask and a dress up mask, because we’re going to be wearing them for a while. As this pandemic turns around life as we know it…

Don’t give up on 2020. If, out of great tragedy can come great victory, we’re just getting started.

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