ILENE DILLON, M.S.W

Empowerment and Purpose Through Flow

— BY ILENE DILLON, M.S.W.

All of us—particularly women—are seeking our Life Purpose and seeking personal Empowerment. They may seem lofty goals, but in fact, I see them as our birthright.

As a person who has practiced as a psychotherapist for the past 50 years, and as a Recovered Angry Person, it’s my observation that what has kept any of us from knowing our Life Purpose or living Empowered lives is our lack of knowledge regarding emotions.

Emotions are energy. E-motions, “energy in motion.” They are very simple, loyal creatures that have been given to us humans as a gift. Their true purpose is to help us more easily navigate our lives.

Since emotions are energy, they follow the Laws that govern energy. Emotions can’t be created nor destroyed, we can’t get rid of them, though they can be directed. If we block their movement they will build up behind the blockage, gaining in volume and strength. Even as they gain volume and strength, they constantly seek to escape from the blockage, sometimes causing problems through their efforts to move.

You and I work to block emotions we don’t want ourselves or others to know we’re experiencing, attempting to hide emotions like hurt, fear, jealousy, guilt or anger. We don’t realize that we can hurt ourselves by doing this. Anger, held onto long enough, can actually kill us. Anger poisons the vessel in which it is held… us.

Furthermore, when we hold onto one emotion, we tend to hold onto all of them. If we repress or harbor anger, we also are not as free to love, feel joy or happiness as we could otherwise be.

Emotions develop in the first seven years of life. They are with us, birth to death, and 24/7/365. To have them that omnipresent in all of our lives, they must be important! They are! Most of us have not learned how to work with them, however.

After years of studying emotions, healing my emotional life and helping thousands of others, I’ve come to this understanding. We are all in a Giant School (earth). We come here as part of a grand experiment being conducted in the Universe. Though we are all connected (all one) through consciousness, almost all of us arrive in separate bodies. We’re like the Mars Rover, landing on a distant planet, staying here for a while and encountering the parts of life we find, reacting to what we find, and the information is sent “home” to be compiled with information from all the other human beings. Our focus is on “love” and “not love.” What can we learn about love, by experiencing both sides of the duality?

We don’t have to do the learning; but when we don’t learn, we go over and over and over the same lesson, often with a different cast of characters but with the same plot. With every repeat, we feel more pain.

It’s mother nature’s way of pushing us to learn. If you have constantly repeating patterns in your life, this is your deeper self telling you that you have not yet learned your lesson! The very good news is this: The instant you complete your lesson, you are finished. That lesson is complete and doesn’t reappear!

How do we learn in this school? Our teacher’s name is Experience. Every time we have an experience, it is an opportunity for us to learn something. For the learning, we have emotions. They rise up in us when we have experiences. Each emotion has a message for us, a hint or direction that nudges us regarding where to look for resolving our experiences, challenges and pain.

Love’s message is “come closer.” Loneliness says “you have more energy going out than coming back in. Bring in more energy, now!” Jealousy says “get more creative.” (For an annotated listing of 12 common emotions, consult my book: Emotions in Motion: Mastering Life’s Builtin Navigation System, https:// tinyurl.com/yedb6565) Our job is to take these messages and apply them to our circumstance, healing our pain, hurt, and disruption.

So now you have the experience and the emotion(s), how do you put them together? Just ask. When you have an experience, ask out loud: “What could I possibly be trying to teach myself by having this experience?” You can also add: “I’m ready to learn this lesson, whatever it takes. Please help me.” When you get your answers, take action and move through your challenge.

Every time you successfully learn a lesson in your life, it makes learning the next lessons easier! One reason is that you drop resistance to learning, freeing up some of your energy. Another is that once you learn your lesson, the energy of the accompanying emotions moves on. As it does so, it allows other emotions more freedom to move. Done long enough, it opens wide the door to FLOW.

Being in FLOW allows us greater creativity, more spontaneity and joy, ingredients we need to have to help us identify our Purpose. As we start living more following our Life Purpose, we become more Empowered.

I began my life as a victim, ill (at age 6 months) with a lifethreatening disease yet left to the mercy of my babysitter seeking medical care for me. Removed from my mother as a toddler, abused in almost every way, and moving constantly in my military family. Working my way through college, I completed a Master’s degree. Early marriage (age 19), two divorces, 20 years of single parenthood with precious little financial support outside of myself. I share this not to shock or gain pity, but to contrast with what learning how to become an Emotional Master has done for me and my life.

Now in my late-70’s, I’m helping others, writing books, and roaming North America alone in my RV. I’m a global speaker, and an Amazon International Best-selling author (The Wellness Universe Guide to Complete Self Care: 25 Tools for Self Care, Happiness and Achievement—Volumes 1, 2 and 3). I’m in excellent health, and I no longer “do” anger, guilt, fear, jealousy, loneliness or shame. We cannot get rid of emotions, but we can seriously reduce the amount of space they take up inside of us.

I’m sure I’ve gone through so much just so I can relate to, and speak to, the many issues, problems and challenges others experience. I know what it feels like to be molested (and heal from it), for example. It’s a gift to me, and to those I can help, to have had the experience and developed empathy and understanding.

For everyone reading this article, if you have issues that are plaguing you, are not fully empowered, are still searching for your purpose, exhibit symptoms of PTSD, experience overwhelming fear or anger, or feel constantly stressed because you’re not living the life you know you can lead, I have felt what you are feeling.

My message: Developing your ability to get into FLOW by using the emotions you feel to guide you through your life challenges, learning the lessons of your experiences, and releasing emotional energy you no longer need, these things will lead you to your ideal life.

ABOUT ILENE DILLON, M.S.W.

Ilene Dillon, MSW, has dedicated her life to helping people resolve personal challenges once and for all, then design life to be what they want it to be. A Transformation Specialist, she has worked 50 years as a psychotherapist and 15 years as a coach. She is a global speaker, Amazon International Best-selling author (The Wellness Universe Guide to Complete Self-Care, Volumes 1 and 2), podcast guest, and plans to give her first TEDx speech (on Anger) later this year. Ilene is also author of Emotions in Motion: Mastering Life’s Built-in Navigation System and End Manipulation: Stop Being Jerked Around by Toxic, Energy-draining People. With her little dog, Pi, Ilene lives and travels full-time throughout North America in her RV, writing, teaching and speaking along the way. Contact Ilene here: ilene@emotionalpro.com to book her for consultations and talks. Catch Ilene’s presentation at the Soul Treat Conference in Boone, North Carolina this October, sharing how you can Master Emotions and empower your own amazing life starting immediately. Live peacefully in love, calmness and joy from now on!