8 minute read
Inderjit Singh
The Alchemy of Woman
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— BY INDERJIT SINGH
She chooses to live by choice, not by chance; to make changes, not excuses; to be motivated, not manipulated; to be useful, not used; to excel, not to compete; she chooses self-esteem, not self-pity; she chooses to listen to her inner voice, not the random opinion of others.
Her soul is fierce, her heart is brave, her mind is strong. To me, she is a Woman – a Woman of Substance!
I am everything but a male chauvinist. A woman, as perceived and defined by me above, is true to my convictions. Male chauvinism is an attitude of superiority toward members of the opposite sex - a male who patronizes, disparages, or otherwise denigrates females in the belief that they are inferior to males and thus deserving of less than equal treatment or benefits, thus nurturing the fixed attitude of male superiority that men are superior than women in terms of ability, intelligence etc. What rubbish!
MEN ARE FROM MARS, WOMEN ARE FROM VENUS
This book written by an American author and relationship counselor John Gray, states that most common relationship problems between men and women are a result of fundamental psychological differences between the sexes, which he exemplifies by means of its eponymous metaphor: that men and women are from distinct planets - men from Mars and women from Venus, and that each sex is acclimated to its own planet's society and customs, but not to those of the other. The book further asserts that each sex can be understood in terms of distinct ways they respond to stress and stressful situations. However, the book had its own share of praise and criticism.
Not challenging the validity or the authenticity of the above concept and views, let us face it, we men and women have to co-exist on the planet earth. So, I ask, why not “live”, and not merely “exist”, in harmony, understanding, mutual respect, love, compassion, acceptance and with integrity?
Paulo Coelho said and I wholeheartedly subscribe to this - “All women have a perception much more developed than men. So, all women somehow, being repressed for so many millennia, ended up by developing this sixth sense and contemplation and love. And this is something that we have a hard time to accept as a part of our society”.
TO EACH THEIR OWN
I guess, it is all about perceptions. Female perception vs. Male perception. My perception vis-à-vis your perception. A simple example that explains it all: researchers after extensive survey found that a set of respondents rated physicians wearing casual attire as less professional and experienced than those wearing the traditional white physician’s coat. Some felt that patients’ confidence and acceptance should perhaps be more related to physicians’ demeanor; their self-confidence, listening skills, empathy; than to what they wear. So, opinions vary on every issue.
Taking this approach, the researchers actually found gender differences for every one of the ten aspects of personality that they looked at. Women on an average scored higher on enthusiasm, compassion, politeness, orderliness, volatility, withdrawal, empathy, creativity, while men scored higher on analytical-rationality and assertiveness.
Men come from Mars means men are fiercer and more aggressive. Men concentrate on competence in goals and mostly focused on their work and achievements. Men handle stress by becoming silent and hiding in their cave. Women come from Venus means they are more calm and subtle. Women are more concentrated on quality relationships than on competence and goals. When women get stressed, they share their problems with their girlfriends and keep talking about it to find solutions. A woman is the full circle. Within her is the power to create, nurture and transform.
Women and men often get frustrated with each other because they see many issues completely differently. However, there are several scientific reasons why male and female perceptions are different. There are even differences between male and female brains. One of the most significant differences between male and female brains is that females’ brain has more connections between the right and left halves which makes them more versatile in the thinking processes and hence superior communicators, while men typically only use the left side. Because of this, women are able to feel connected to others more easily. A strong woman will always turn pain into power.
A recent discovery is that women actually have more rods and cones in their eyes than men. This allows women to see more detail, which partially explains when men see a room clean, women see complete filth. Men simply aren’t able to see dust and finer particles as easily as women, and therefore are unaware of its presence. But this logic of men doesn’t always hold. Try it!
Because women are more in touch with their feelings, and more adept at communication, women are more likely to want to discuss problems and issues in-depth while men generally deal with problems instantly and head-on. This can be illustrated by the different outlook that men and women typically have towards shopping. Although these are generalizations and not an absolute rule, women consider shopping in its social aspect to be savored and enjoyed. For men, shopping is more like an ordeal, and the sooner it’s over, the better.
Take a look at clothing, for example. For many women, clothing can become a major focal point in their daily life. Not only does their clothing have to fit within a certain style, many women are concerned with how their clothing accentuates or hides certain features. Women don’t only pay this attention to their clothes; they are also concerned with other women’s clothing, and how they look in relation to them. This is a world that most men are barely aware of, if they know of it at all. Although there are exceptions, the average guy sees clothing as a necessity, either to escape the cold, heat, or to be able to enter businesses without being hassled.
Another major issue that has emerged is how the two genders live in the modern world is multitasking. According to the general perception, females are much better at multitasking than men. You probably know many women, especially those with busy schedules that do two or three things at the same time. Try to get a guy to talk to you when reading an email, or anything else he does routinely, and you are likely to get a response along the lines of, “hold on a minute”; and that minute can run into hours. This brings some truth to the cliché that men have one-track minds!
While men are competitive in many areas within themselves, many women are in constant competition with each other on a more personal level. Both close friends, as well as random people passing by, are subject to stinging criticism for fashion blunders, as well as any other number of issues. This is a harsh world that men are simply not exposed to, and once again, establishes that regardless of any other differences, physical and psychological, male and female perceptions are quite varied because they live in vastly different realities. Hence, to each their own!
Even in examining these few social differences, not to mention differences in how male and female brains operate, it is no wonder that male and female perception is so varied when it comes to relationships, and many other aspects of life. Whatever the reason for these differences, they can be a potential source of frustration in anyone’s life when you simply can’t understand the behaviors or thoughts of the opposite sex. However, perhaps these differences are what hold men and women together. As they say – opposites attract!
MY TAKE
Women have inhabited this world for as long as men have, but their stories of struggles and redemption are far more poignant than that of any man. From the ancient times, women have struggled even for their basic rights in the rigid patriarchic societies, fighting misogynist attitudes to claim what is rightfully theirs. Situations for women definitely improved as the centuries passed by, but even today, women don’t have it easy. Not in the developing world, not even in the developed world.
To my mind woman is a synonym of sacrifice; woman is a companion to man, given by God. She is a partner in life, and a friend. Women are blessed with a kind heart, are a symbol of love, a bundle of affection and a pillar of strength.
God created woman as a beautiful tapestry of intense, inconceivable and extraordinary power to radiate and nurture love. She has an incredible and miraculous power to heal with the warmth and aura of her multi-dimensional energy. High time that the world acknowledges what RUMI - a 13th-century Persian scholar, theologian, jurist, mystic saint, Sufi - the enlightened man had to say:
ABOUT INDERJIT SINGH
Inderjit is an Aviation Consultant with the UN. He has served in senior level diplomatic positions in several countries of Asia, South-East Asia, Middle-East, Africa and South America. He was the CEO of IGI Airport – the 16th busiest in the world. He is an MBA, followed by advanced management courses at “Henley-the Management College”, Oxford shire, UK and the University of California, Berkeley, USA. He can be reached at inderjit.singh@aviationanalyst.net
