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“I’ve been at a few WBC protests but have never seen anything like this before. The WBC protesters kept trying to stand their ground but ended up leaving within minutes of their arrival, being followed and chased out by Portland counter protesters.” Here we are—our first issue in 2015; it’s the middle of January, the dead of winter, everything seems a bit sleepy and quiet after the holidays, yet there’s no dearth of life in our pages or in our community. On Saturday, January 10, queer folks and their allies showed up en masse and faced those nasty Westboro folks square in the face, standing toe to toe with them outside the Moda Center. (Westboro was here because the Portland TrailBlazers were the first NBA team to come out in support of marriage equality.) I’m usually one who advocates for ignoring those lunatics—I hate that they get press and I am even loathe to write about them in these pages, but there was something pretty special about seeing our city chase them off in quick, decisive fashion. Our own Shaley Howard was among the counter-protestors: “When the handful of WBC protesters arrived they were surrounded by hundreds of counter-protesters within minutes,” Howard writes. “I’ve been at a few WBC protests but have never seen anything like this before. The WBC protesters kept trying to stand their ground but ended up leaving within minutes of their arrival, being followed and chased out by Portland counter protesters. And it seemed like people from all walks of life came out to stand up and defend their Blazers and LGBTQ equality, bearing humor-
ous and loving signs that countered the WBC’s asinine hate and homophobic ones. Signs saying ‘Down with Pants’, ‘Born this Way’, ‘OMG I said Figs not Fags’ or ‘Make Love Not Signs’. One group held up enormous black signs that simply said ‘Nothing to See Here’ and they encircled the handful WBC protesters so no one could see them or their signs.” That’s my Portland. And, as January marks a new year, it also marks an era of new voices in our pages—voices culled from the most dynamic in our city. One of the things we wanted to do is more thoroughly represent some of the more spiritual and religious among us—and in the spirit of that promise, we’ve invited Leo Bancroft to contribute a rotating column. In his piece, Bancroft writes, “I began this article in the spirit of protest and lament. In the midst of loud ‘Christian’ voices proclaiming intolerance, I file my story of grace. God’s love is wide, not limited by who is in or out, by who is ‘holy’ or ‘worthy.’ God loves me, no matter what. I am not a mistake, or an abomination. We must affirm the worth, the dignity and the beloved-ness of all people, including, without question, all LGBT people. If you are struggling, may you find courage to keep trying, and may your hope not fail. There is a place for you.” Bancroft is one of the most authentic people I know, and we think “Finding Leo” will move you. We’re also thrilled to welcome Sossity Chiricuzio, who’s bringing a wide range of experiences to the table. Chiricuzio’s column will be called “Embody,” and this month focuses on healthy sexy times. “I want to help you feel good in your body. That is not only the purpose of this column, but also the driving force behind every healer I know. Many queer folks, and anyone else with a body that varies from what is called the norm but is actually rare, have likely had a very different experience when seeking healthcare. The best healers are trying to be not only a cure, but an antidote to that sense of betrayal, or shame, or invisibility that can come in a small room with an authority figure assessing you for wrong-ness.” Doesn’t that sound like a column you want to dive into every month? And, as always, we have the writers who’ve been with us from the beginning. Leela Ginelle, aside from her outstanding column, pens a fascinating piece on folks who identify outside the gender binary. Belinda Carroll chats with an activist from Uganda—now there’s an inspiring page. Shaley Howard dissects the Butch/Femme Photo Project, and we summarize the changes at Q Center the best we can. There are columns, there is style, and we’ve scoured the city for the finest events to help you pass the time. So, dive in! Soak up the heart and soul of queer Portland. As we’ve said before, it’s a pleasure and a privilege to tell many of our stories—based on what we have in print for January, it looks like 2015 is going to be a really good year. Onward, together.
--Daniel Borgen
A SMATTERING OF WHAT YOU’LL FIND INSIDE:
ON THE COVER
Belinda Carroll chats with a queer from Uganda.......................Page 5 Genders beyond the binary.........................................................Page 6 The Butch/Femme Photo Project..................................................Page 9 PQ’s Twenty Questions! The answers............................................Page 10 Where are we at with Q Center?..................................................Page 12
503.228.3139
Our beautiful new updated calendar.........................................Page 16
proudqueer.com
Good positions for bad backs.....................................................Page 20 Transitioning in church..................................................................Page 22 Photographer Wendy Kali explores identity in The Butch/Femme Photo Project. In the end, she had 108 images: 36 couples and
The FDA’s blood ban.....................................................................Page 27
70 single butches and femmes. The book contains 103 images.
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The project includes a diverse group of people (not all identify as
Also: Style Deconstructed, This Ends Badly, Living Out Loud, ID Check, OK So Here’s the Deal,
women) from 14 different US states and a few cities in Canada. Their
The Lady Chronicles, See and Be Seen, Love Ball, Richie Rich, GLAPN, Queer Aperture, and much
ages range from 21 to 71.
more! Don’t see what you’d like to see in our pages? Email Daniel at Daniel@PQMonthly.com. We’re always accepting pitches and tips.
January/February 2015 • 3
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FEATURE
A CHAT WITH AN ACTIVIST FROM UGANDA By Belinda Carroll, PQ Monthly
If you know anything about me, you know I get pretty passionate about human rights, LGBTQ issues, and baby goats. With all of the heady legal marryin’ that’s been happening, it’s easy to think that the basic fight is over, or at least we can have a mimosa brunch without it also serving as a fundraiser. As a person who lives and breathes in the LGBTQ community, has an accepting family and in-laws, and works as an openly queer comic, I am largely in a gay bubble. This is why when I was messaged by a gay male Ugandan who friended me on Facebook—he loves comedy and wants more gay stand-up comedy in his country, Gay men at a Hookah Cafe in Uganda. I wanted to know everything about his life. We began to talk regularly and I realized that a lot of us don’t understand the real situation happening in Uganda. There are an estimated 500,000 people living in Uganda who are LGBT, and are currently under daily attack by their own government. For a country with a population of 30.7 Million (about the size of California), this is outrageous. The crimes against LGBT folks in Uganda are manifest in the proposed laws that expand the standing law, Section 145, which says in part, “that any ‘unnatural act’ between two consenting adult men can be punished with up to 7 years in prison.” The proposed bill that would increase these penalties was nicknamed “Kill the Gays” because it would make punishments “up to the death penalty for multiple offences”. The bill was passed into law briefly, but was eventually rescinded. The law is not fully dead; lawmakers have promised to pass a ‘less harsh’ version of the law, and it hangs over every LGBT person living in Uganda. I became aware of the Ugandan situation in 2009, when Human Rights Watch interviewed a very brave Ugandan by the name of David Kato, of Sexual Minorities Uganda. The language of the new law, “would forbid the “promotion of homosexuality” including publishing information or providing funds, premises for activities, or other resources. Conviction could result in up to seven years in prison.” That sounded really familiar to me. Specifically, it was nearly a verbatim quote from a proposed measure in Oregon from 1992, Measure 9, which read in part: “All governments in Oregon may not use their monies or properties to promote, encourage or facilitate homosexuality, pedophilia, sadism or masochism. All levels of government, including public education systems, must assist in setting a standard for Oregon’s youth which recognizes that these behaviors are abnormal, wrong, unnatural and perverse and they are to be discouraged and avoided.” Once I looked into the new law, I found out that the president of Uganda, Yoweri Museveni, had a very close advisor that made me remember every excruciating minute of high school when (the failed) Measure 9 was being fought in Oregon. Scott Lively, for those who don’t know, was the second in command of the Oregons Citizen’s Alliance (OCA), a Focus-on-the-Family-type group and he wrote a charming little book titled, “The Pink Swastika, Homosexuality and the Nazi Party.” If you’re thinking, “Boy, I sure hope he uses the S on the cover and makes it a swastika,” you’re in luck. I’ve seen actual Nazi pqmonthly.com
propaganda that was more subtle than his book. For those who haven’t read the tome that Lively wasted precious natural resources to write, let me sum it up. Do you have a really racist uncle who drinks a lot? Is he part-holocaust denier and part-closeted homosexual who thinks by yelling, calling people names, and making sure “those people pay for their sins,” he can make his own feelings go away? Well, it’s just like that, only Yoweri Museveni decided to enact dangerous laws based on Lively’s rants. The problems in Uganda are complicated and widespread—including extreme poverty (the average Ugandan makes $510 dollars a year, according to WHO, and $600 a year according to my interview subject), limited access to education (half of school age students live 5km from the nearest school and most people are on foot), skyrocketing HIV rates, and an ongoing conflict with Rwanda. Add that to the fact that according to a 2007 Pew Global Attitudes Project poll, 96% of Ugandans say they agree with punishing homosexuality, it makes for a very hostile and dangerous environment for all LGBT Ugandans. I don’t mean to get all Lisa Ling on you; because I’m a comedian, not a serious journalist, but when I began talking to Baguma Berges Ronnie (he gave PQ permission to use his full name), a 38 year-old community health trainee, what started as curiosity on my part developed into a real concern for him and his people. Baguma is a member of the Gay Rights Activist Club, an underground resistance group committed to reversing these laws and gaining basic human rights for all Ugandans. Through email, and Facebook messaging, I spoke with Baguma over the course of two months. Communication was difficult at times, as for him things like Internet access and Skype are hard to come by and prohibitively expen- A gay football team. Both photos provided by Baguma. sive when they exist. Nevermind the 12-hour time difference that had me chatting at 2AM, 1PM his time. At one point I received a Facebook message that his Yahoo account had been compromised, and we lost contact. Luckily, he fixed it and we got the interview done. He is risking a lot by even talking to an American writer, and when we talked about how to send PQ Monthly to him and his club, I learned a lot about disguising reading material to get by his government. PQ: I just want to say, I really appreciate your bravery in talking with me. I know it is very dangerous. You have my word that I will do all I can from the States. I don’t know what that will look like beyond the article, but I really would
like to help prevent this very dangerous and deadly law passing again. Baguma: Thank you for taking interest! PQ: What is day to day LGBTQ Life like in Uganda? Baguma: Well concerning day to day life in Kampala for LGBTQ people, it is not smooth, as there are many disguised security operatives on the lookout for LGBTQ people and even the locals mostly don’t want to mingle with gay people, a thing which makes LGBTQ people choose to have their discrete places like bars like in Ntinda, one of Kampala’s affluent suburbs. PQ: You have an organization, called the Gay Rights Activist Club, what are the goals for the club? What would you like to see? Baguma: Concerning goals for the club, GRAC, Gay Rights Activist Club, we are here to promote the rights of gays, fight homophobia, create sustainability, and provide basics like: shelter, food, and medical care for Ugandans. PQ: I can imagine that people who aren’t LGBTQ have a hard time because even if they are accepting they are required by law to report homosexual activity, right? Baguma: Yes. One interesting story here: A parent found her daughter engaged with a fellow girl in sex, a thing which shocked the parent thus leading her to faint and become unconsciousness. When asked about the incident, the girl replied, “Nobody would ever separate me from my girlfriend.” It is reported that the girls who are both 17, are in secondary school and have been practicing lesbianism for a long time. PQ Note: The girls were not jailed but were reportedly a part of the 22 girls expelled from their secondary school for lesbianism. PQ Monthly: Is it hard to find employment as a gay person in Kampala? Baguma: I feel it vital to tell you about gay prostitutes who are mostly found in affluent suburbs of Kampala, and their clients are mostly whites and Asian executives. Places for gays to pick up include; Buziga, Ntinda, Wandegeya, where there are cozy bars. PQ: So do you feel that gays turn to prostitution because it’s harder to find a job? Baguma: Well, most gays are in prostitution because of the hard economic situation and high level of unemployment here. PQ: What would happen to you if you were caught talking to an American journalist? Baguma: Of course security operatives would nose in and find out what information I was giving out and I’d probably be nabbed. PQ: W h a t a re t h e names for gay in your primary language? Baguma: The common slang word is bisiyaga and the Swahili word is mashoga. PQ: Any last words for our readers? Baguma: Last but not least, I would like the people in the US to back us in our fight for gay rights. But I would like to extend my appreciation to all US people for all their unending support and may God bless you all. PQ: Thank you for your time and courage. If you’d like to contact Baguma Ronnie directly he can be reached at: bag42004@yahoo.com January/February 2015 • 5
FEATURE
BEYOND THE BINARY: PORTLANDERS TALK ABOUT IDENTITIES OUTSIDE MALE & FEMALE By Leela Ginelle, PQ Monthly
only so much of it will resonate. Every time I try to articulate it, it feels like a compromise, or like settling.” While the last few years have seen momentous strides in Having a non-binary identity in our culture, Em says, terms of mainstream transgender visibility and acceptance, can feel like playing “gender dodge ball.” the stories of non-binary or genderqueer trans* folk have “I’m constantly thinking, ‘Don’t misgender me!’ ‘Am remained relatively untold. There is not yet a genderqueer I going to get “Ma’amed”?’ ‘Am I going to get “Sir’d”?’” they Janet Mock or Laverne Cox telling their story to national say. television audiences, and educating people about gender When mistakes of that kind do occur, they can lead identities beyond female and male. to another set of racing thoughts, they say. “I’ll wonder, That doesn’t mean such ‘Do I do something?’ If I don’t do people don’t populate our comsomething, can I do it later? Can munities, however. They do, I text or email?” often facing misunderstanding Em says when they and unintentional offense as do bring things up, they try to they live their authentic truths. keep things simple and direct. “It We talked to three Portlanders can be hard to approach interwith non-binary trans identities actions like that through femabout pronouns, stigmas, activinism, because it’s steeped in ism and more. This is what they theory and structure and author told us: name-dropping.” E m Ja m e s o n D o u g l a s : They recalled one Em identifies as non-binary, trip to a restaurant with a queer although they’re quick to point friend in which their waiter genout, “Non-binary is not a sexy dered the two of them as females word.” Growing up, Em wanted throughout their meal. On their to be a tomboy, but “wasn’t receipt, they left a note that said, sporty,” and lost hope of having “Neither of us are ladies. Please a tough, androgynous presentareconsider gendering your custion, until discovering punk rock tomers.” in the 8th grade. Jose: Jose is a genderAs an adult, they met adults queer college student, who’s who identified as queer. “I comfortable with either male or thought, ‘This is something you female pronouns (for the story, can do. This is something you we’ll alternate). Jose learned can be.’ That opened the door,” about non-binary gender identhey say. “I started hanging out tities in high school. He rememwith a lot of trans men, and In the genderqueer community there’s lots of room for possibilities, though. Some bers approaching a sympathetic dated a trans man. That was a people express it through their physical appearance; others articulate it internally. teacher during freshman or period of ‘all queer, all the time.’” There are as many trans narratives as there are trans people. sophomore year about the topic. After some self-exploration, “I was having trouble placing Em settled on the term non-binary, as well as “trans mas- myself as male,” she says. “The teacher’s TA brought up and culine.” “I end up using that term, because it reflects a lot defined spectrum fluidity—the idea that how you express of the way I’m seen in the world. It’s a useful tool to point your gender identity can exist on a spectrum, rather than to my experience in the world, and the privileges I have being fixed.” The idea resonated with Jose. “Some days my moving through life.” expression is more masculine, other days it’s more femiAs you might have picked up, Em goes by the first person nine,” he says. plural pronouns “they/them/their.” While common among “Since then, I applied that idea toward the way I dress non-binary trans folks, awareness about these identifiers and act,” she says. “My expression can be completely difis not yet widespread, leading to frequent mistakes by out- ferent from moment to moment. The way I feel throughsiders, and discomfort for Em about managing this area. out the day constantly changes, and that’s reflected in my “If I don’t tell someone, then I’m uncomfortable about mannerisms, or the way I respond to friends.” being mis-pronouned,” they say. “But telling someone Jose was assigned male at birth, and, perhaps because involves vulnerability and grit. But then this thing hap- trans feminine expression is more stigmatized in our culpens when I tell someone and they continue to mis-pro- ture than trans masculine is, he discussed self-censornoun me and I can feel betrayed. But I remember I cared ing around gender presentation in a way neither Em, nor and respected enough to invest in the relationship, that it’s Tash (who you’ll meet next) did. Likewise, she asked to be worth speaking up about it.” referred to only by a first name. “It’s worth it if they eventually land on ‘they,’” they say, “I tend not to get the chance to explore myself as a laughing, before impersonating someone slipping through female,” Jose said. “It’s something I can’t bring to my mistakes. “’She,’ I mean ‘he,’ I mean ‘Em.’ It’s worth it if by home, or with those who don’t know me. It’s a part that the end they land on ‘they.” feels restricted.” Em views gender identity as something vast and ineffaHe remembers dressing up for a spirit day in high school ble, which becomes shaped narrowly by society. “Kids are in a tight dress, leggings and make up. “I passed it off as fluid around gender,” they say. “But they find out what will drag, but I was really experimenting - exploring how much get them in trouble, and they choose the path of least resis- femininity I was comfortable with. I chose that day, because tance. One of the reasons I hesitate talking about my iden- I didn’t want to be affected by other people’s criticisms.” tity is because it takes so much explaining, and I’m afraid She enjoyed the experience, and imagines his gender 6 • January/February 2015
expression would be different if no prejudices were present. “There’s definitely things I would be wearing if I didn’t have to face criticisms or harassment,” Jose says. For now, living at home with her parents, at his program at school, and her part time job, Jose regulates his gender expression, hoping to “gossip, and side comments.” Jose said he doesn’t envision physically transitioning. “I’m comfortable with the way I am biologically. The main part I see changing is how I choose to express myself aesthetically—the way I look, which depends on the way I feel.” “I’d like to see activism on behalf of genderqueer people,” she says. “I have a general understanding of where discrimination or harassment could occur, but I don’t fully understand the issues around where I could participate.” Tash Shatz: Tash, who identifies as genderqueer and trans, remembers being introduced to non-binary gender identities at the Denver feminist art festival Lady Fest Out West, where they saw the film “By Hook or By Crook,” which centered on two trans masculine genderqueer characters. “It blew my mind,” they say. “It opened ideas for me about what identities were possible.” Prior to that, the ideas they had encountered regarding gender were “more binary,” such as that “trans people all identify as the opposite gender, and are straight.” Tash thinks this paucity of information about non-binary identities still persists in many places, particularly among service providers. “The medical community does not have a lot of room for non-binary identities,” they say. “In the genderqueer community there’s lots of room for possibilities, though. Some people express it through their physical appearance; others articulate it internally. There are as many trans narratives as there are trans people.” It was in 2006, when they moved to Portland, that Tash began identifying outside the binary. “In Portland I met more genderqueer people,” they say. “The way I learned about it was less academic and more social—by talking to people about their identities.” Today Tash identifies as genderqueer and trans. “Genderqueer, for me, articulates being part of a community,” they say. “Trans is about acknowledging my having transitioned. One of the primary ways I articulate my identity is through my pronouns, which are they and them, or my name.” Tash describes having been mis-pronouned early in their transition as “painful,” and says it can still occur. Conversely, though, they say that “when people use pronouns that reflect my identity, that feels fantastic.” While Tash bemoans the “expectation that all trans and genderqueer people are educators, and should be available at all time to help people understand their identities,” they say they are called to do education. “Being a person who is perceived as white and male, I recognize I have privilege, and want to give back.” Tash sees the trans and genderqueer movements as intertwined, and would like to see what they refer to as the “Non-Profit Industrial Complex” help centralize the needs of all the vulnerable members of the LGBTQ community, including people identifying outside the gender binary. “It’s good that ‘gender expression’ has been included in anti-discrimination laws,” they say. “I’d like to see us talk about, ‘Who is targeted for violence?’ and look at characteristics like race, money, and gender expression - more of that kind of inclusion.” One immediate change Tash would like to see involves personal information forms. “I’d like to see us create forms that a fill in the blank space, so we don’t have to choose from preset choices,” they say. “I hope to live in a world of limitless options.” pqmonthly.com
FEATURE
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January/February 2015 • 7
VOICES
FEATURE
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Recovering from repressed trauma and transitioning were similar experiences, in that both involved integrating of parts of myself which had been sealed off. For the last four years flux has been my normal state, adjusting to and healing past terrors, and transforming my body and identity. Throughout, it’s felt like an unmapped voyage, my inner and outer identities shifting and evolving in ways wholly unpredictable. In the beginning, I foresaw only doom. Transphobia, a word I didn’t even know, would, I assumed, take from me my friends, and livelihood, while the memories of childhood sexual assault, by my prediction, would haunt and stunt me like a plague. I’d lived my whole life with an impregnable wall inside me, sealing off the terror and betrayal I’d endured. Another wall had been erected by our culture, enforced first by the bigotry of my family, then by that of the community at large, and maintained vigilantly by myself. With each of these breached, I was subsumed with constant dread, confusion and rage. Little by little, though, my sense of alienation lessened, while a confidence arose that I was no longer crippled by wounds inflicted decades before. Perhaps it’s my nature, but I found this time engrossing. I was seldom at a loss for something to write about, and I’ve ended these years immeasurably happier and less burdened than I began. Likewise, I’ve ridden out highs and lows completely independent of my present day life, in a sense, living vicariously through both my own past and my inner world. At the start of both the recovery of my memories and my transition, I had hardly the time or space to think of anything else. Sleep vanished, as my mind raced at night, trying to make sense of my story’s being rewritten moment to moment. Now, however, I contend with the converse, a pervasive emptiness, and the understanding that life, today, is nothing but the moment I presently inhabit. The question, “What would I do if I wasn’t consumed by grief, or confronting a legal, medical and social transition?” has been replaced by, “What would I like to do?” “What would I like to do?” however, feels fraught, as confidence, spontaneity, and curiosity were stamped out fairly thoroughly for me by the twin circumstances of incest and closeting. What I wanted to
do, I rarely wondered about. What I did was hide, protect myself, and daydream about who I might be if I wasn’t myself. Some of those dreams still linger, and sorting out whether I truly desire to pursue them can feel overwhelming, as self-deprivation is such a large part of my history. Waking up and feeling like my identity’s “inbox” is stuffed with new data to be sorted has been common these past years. The idea of leaving it unchecked and doing something else with my brain sounds both foreign and potentially frightening. What’s frightening, though, as I’ve told myself as if repeating a mantra for months and months, is my past, not my present, where events, if anything, are a bit dull. I tend to live the highly examined life, though. I’ve wondered these past years why, given the statistics about childhood sexual assault, so few people write about it, or seek help in group settings. It can be painful, but so can living a life haunted by unresolved trauma. Looking back, I assume not everyone would see addressing that history as being true to themselves in the way I did. The same is true for my transition. Being awake and present for it each day was important for me, because I knew no experience I was undergoing at this time could tell me more about myself or the world around me. The walls within me feel gone, and with them the unending surpluses of anger, bafflement and despair. “What would life be like if those things had never happened to me?”—another oft-employed mantra of mine—is now a question I’m exploring. At some level, having been threatened and violated the way I had, implanted a fear, a sense of insecurity no amount of self-protection could assuage. Likewise, the violent, unequivocal rejection of my identity I sustained generated a narrative, which said, “Everyone is normal but me.” Asking, “Who am I?” when I was younger, led very quickly to wondering, “What’s wrong with me?” and to confronting a mystery, in the one instance, and what had become a secret, in the other. Slowly, who I am has come to encompass that history, rather than being haunted or defined by it, so that, “What is my life like, irregardless of those things that occurred?” has become my resting state, and all the divisions I’ve perceived within and around me have fallen. Getting there only took my whole life . . . but what else is a lifetime for?
Leela Ginelle is a playwright and journalist living in Portland, OR. You can write her at leela@pqmonthly.com. pqmonthly.com
FEATURE NEWS
EXPLORING IDENTITY—THE BUTCH/FEMME PHOTO PROJECT
The project includes a diverse group of people (not all identify as women) from 14 different US states and a few cities in Canada. Their ages range from 21 to 71. By Shaley Howard, PQ Monthly
It’s been a topic of discussion—forever, it seems—within our community: What is identity? Webster’s definition seems simple: “the qualities and beliefs that make a particular person or group different from others; who someone is, the name of a person.” Defining any person’s identity is clearly more complicated than any dictionary’s overly simplified definition. But finding and defining identity in the LGBTQ community is even more complicated, especially since most of what we grow up with is based on a heteronormative view, a view that promotes heterosexuality as the normal or preferred sexual orientation instead of a one of many possibilities. Photographer Wendi Kali struggled with defining her identity for years. As a woman who wore more masculine clothing and moved through the world in a more masculine way, she felt like an outsider. But in 2010 she attended a ‘Butch Voices Conference’ at Portland State University and felt like she had finally found her home and family. Admittedly, for a while, she said she resisted the label of butch but realized, after listening to other butch women talk about their stories, that not only was she proud to claim the butch label but there’s a history to that label—a story that is important to recognize. Soon after, she started researching the history of the butch/femme identity. She sought out books such as Stone Butch Blues, The Persistent Desire; A Femme-Butch Reader and Persistence: All Ways Butch and Femme for her research. And although she could find written history about butch and femme identities, finding present day images was another thing. As a photographer she wanted to see images of women like her and others who did not necessarily fit into society’s rigid boundaries. So Kali decided to create The Butch Femme Photo Project, a photo-journalistic journey through the individual and unique identities of Femme and Butch. And now, after 2½ years of taking photographs in over 35 cities, she recently celebrated her book release. PQ Monthly had a chance to talk with her. PQ: Congratulations Wendi on your book! Were you pleased with the book release party? Kali: It went really well! There were about 60-70 people pqmonthly.com
in attendance and I signed quite a few books that night. There were also a lot of good conversations that happened. This project is my heart’s work and has been for the past 2½ years and I am incredibly proud of this project and grateful to everyone who helped it become a reality. PQ: How many photos have you taken and how many places in the world have you be able to go? Kali: Through the funds I raised with the Kickstarter, I was only able to travel around the US and a couple of places in Canada. I would have loved to have traveled the world for this and was contacted by people in Europe and India. Unfortunately, time and finances didn’t allow that to happen this time around. In the end I had 108 images: 36 couples and 70 single butches and femmes. The book contains 103 images. PQ: What were the demographics of the butch/femme women that volunteered to participate? Kali: The project includes a diverse group of people (not all identify as women) from 14 different US states and a few cities in Canada. Their ages range from 21 to 71. PQ: Have you found any variations in the butch/femme image in the different cities you’ve visited? Kali: There were lots of similarities and also lots of differences, yes. But it mostly about how people dressed. It was my goal in the shoots to photograph people in their own space and in clothes they chose to wear so they were most comfortable. I wanted to capture them as them, if that makes sense. I wanted to capture a moment of their everyday lives. PQ: Why is it important to continue using the labels or definitions of butch/femme through words and photographs? Kali: Because they are still a part of our world and our community and they deserve to be seen. So many people that I spoke with through this project feel like their community just doesn’t see them. Specifically people who identify as femme. It’s important that everyone is seen and included. PQ: Given that our community is quite diverse when it comes to how people choose to identify nowadays, why do you think it’s specifically important to show the butch/ femme images?
Kali: The butch and femme labels were slowly pushed out of the community during the feminist movement of the 70’s. The butch/femme dynamic was considered heteronormative and conforming. But the fact is butches and femmes weren’t trying to play roles. They weren’t trying to conform. They moved about in the world as themselves, they weren’t and aren’t playing a role. Butches and femmes have never really disappeared from our community. Those labels and the people who claim them are a part of our community and they should have visibility. There are generations growing up and moving about in the world as themselves, be that on a more masculine or feminine scale, who may not be surrounded by a community of people like them, which could make someone feel very alone in the world. PQ: Why do you think you found more images from the 1950’s, 60’s and 70’s than the 80-90’s? And have you found that from the late 90’s to the present there were more images? If so why the gap? Kali: I could be wrong but I believe the issues surrounding the community’s belief that the butch/femme dynamic was heteronormative was a big reason why the images started to disappear from the 1980’s on. Personally, I didn’t find more images from the late 90’s on, no. This was one of my motivators for doing the project. PQ: What are some of the things you’ve learned by doing this project? Has there been anything in particular that has surprised you? Kali: One of the biggest things I learned during this project was how invisible people who identify as femme feel within our community. The femmes who feel invisible within our community feel that way because they “look straight” and that that they “weren’t gay enough.” Also many of the butches that I spoke with talked about people assuming that they want to be men because they appear as masculine. But there is so much more to the butch identity that, in its own way, defies the gender binary. On both sides of the spectrum however, I discovered there are quite a few that see “butch” or “femme” as their gender. Definitely something that combines masculine and feminine and everything in between. I also learned a lot about organizing and travel planning during this project. Connecting with people quickly so that I could get a sense of who they were and somehow capture that in their photograph was something I found that I am completely capable of doing. That was huge for me. I’ve learned a lot about myself through this project, as well. PQ: What are your current plans and where do you hope to go from here? Kali: Currently, I’m taking a much needed break to just work and focus on family. I’m also planning a move back to the East Coast in March. Along the way, I hope to stop at bookstores and LGBTQI centers to promote the book. At the moment, there aren’t any future projects on my calendar. PQ: If someone wants to participate how can they get involved? Kali: Well, I’ve already finished with the project and was signed by an indie publisher here in Portland who published The Butch/Femme Photo Project book with the images and quotes that I gathered during the past 2½ years. So, at the moment, the only way to get involved would be to buy the book and maybe donate a copy to your local LGBTQI center library so that others have a chance to find their community within the pages. Within the next year, I›m considering asking people to send in their photographs and answer the questions I had the participants answer so that I could begin a new page on the project›s web site with others who I wasn›t able to reach during the project. People can “Like” the project›s Facebook page or keep an eye on the project web site to keep posted about when that will launch. So far Kali has sold over 150 copies of The Butch Femme Photo Project. To purchase a copy you can go to St. John’s Booksellers and Another Read Through, both located in Portland, Oregon or online at Powell’s Books, Indie Bound, Barnes & Noble and Amazon. January/February 2015 • 9
NEWS QUEER HISTORY
FEATURE
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10 • January/February 2015
JANUARY 2015
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FEATURE
Q CENTER UNDERGOES DYNAMIC CHANGE
By Daniel Borgen, PQ Monthly
The work to rebuild Q Center is well underway; since the resignation of former Executive Director Barb McCulloughJones, the majority of Q Center’s Board of Directors, and the revelation that Q Center was in dire straits financially, the community has responded in resounding fashion and new leadership is in place and hard at work, taking swift, decisive action while working to come up with sustainable, long-term plans to ensure Q Center’s long life and success.
SMYRC PQ Monthly has learned Q Center and New Avenues for Youth are partnering together to better serve LGBTQ youth by relocating SMYRC, Portland’s Sexuality and Gender Minority Youth Resource Center. Currently located in NE Portland, SMYRC will be moving downtown to New Avenues’ Joyce N. Furman building (1220 SW Columbia). This is another savvy, positive move in righting the big queer ship– both Q Center and SMYRC are vital community resources, and they must be preserved. Q’s interim board and advisory committee certainly seem up to the task. With SMYRC’s current lease coming to an end in early 2015, New Avenues for Youth has made a commitment to assist in continuity for SMYRC while a community engagement process rolls out with Q Center to determine the needs and future of SMYRC and Q Center. The relocation reinforces services for LGBTQ youth, many of whom identify as homeless. “40% of homeless youth identify as LGBTQ, and 70% of the SMYRC youth identify as homeless; it’s important that we are meeting them where they are,” says Micheal Weakley, Youth & Young Adult Program Manager at Q Center. “This new site provides accessibility for youth, and the partnership with New Avenues for Youth only strengthens the outreach we’re able to provide.” SMYRC’s new location is currently home to New Avenues’ Artist Mentorship Program (AMP), which uses music and art to connect with homeless youth. Equipped with computers, a full service kitchen and office space, the downtown location offers greater access to public transpqmonthly.com
portation and gives SMYRC’s youth the opportunity to connect to New Avenues’ array of services including counseling, job-training, as well as participate in AMP. At this time, SMYRC will remain a program of Q Center. “There is considerable overlap in the populations SMYRC and New Avenues for Youth serve, and this partnership creates exciting new opportunities for our organizations and for youth,” says New Avenues for Youth’s Executive Director, Sean Suib. “By working together we’ll be able to leverage our resources, coordinate outreach efforts and better meet the needs of LGBTQ youth in our community.” Q Center plans to organize a “day of service” to coordinate with the move–January 19. “We need the following prior to the move: moving boxes, tape and plastic bins. Any of these items can be dropped off at SMYRC by contacting micheal@pdxqcenter.org. The day of the move we need people to help move items from SMYRC and receive items at New Avenues for Youth. Duties will vary from moving in new items, cleaning and arranging storage as well as cleaning clothing donations. We also need food and bus gift cards as incentives for our youth participants. Bus cards can be purchased at http://store. trimet.org/. Micheal Weakley, Youth and Young Adult Program Manager is the main contact. Please connect with him if you are interested in volunteering for the day of service: micheal@pdxqcenter.org.”
COMMUNITY INVOLVEMENT “I’ve been asked why I took a board level position with Q Center. It’s because it’s where my heart was in the beginning. If I just sit here and complain, then take me out of the equation. I want to be a part of the solution.”–Robert Gorman, Q Center Interim Board Know your voice matters: connect directly with the Interim leadership at Q Center, email them: Leadership@ pdxqcenter.org. A small but growing group of people have formed the Community Committee, charged with organizing and facilitating the community engagement process to help determine the needs of the community and Q Center’s role. Initial planning includes a town hall forum in the end of January (date TBD). A basic survey to be available both online and in paper form is being finalized, and small group discussions have begun, led by and for some of Q Center’s most affected and/or disenfranchised communities. These will be a chance to participate in much needed conversations about multigenerational, community-based LGBTQ support and services in Portland. Some of the questions that we might ask ourselves and each other in this process: What do we currently do well as a community (in and across our intersectional communities) in terms of support
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Q CENTER page 12
January/February 2015 • 11
Q CENTER: “BY WORKING TOGETHER WE’LL BE ABLE TO LEVERAGE OUR RESOURCES, COORDINATE OUTREACH EFFORTS AND BETTER MEET THE NEEDS OF LGBTQ YOUTH IN OUR COMMUNITY.” Continued from page 11
and services? What’s missing and most needed? How do we fund what we need? What funding models match our mission(s), are sustainable, and get the work done? Do we still need a multigenerational LGBTQ community center in Portland? If so, how can Q Center be that place? What can we do to return stewardship of our community center back to the community?
NEW LEADERSHIP Additionally, Q Center has announced some dynamic changes to their current leadership structure, which includes the return of Karen Petersen: “Two co-chairs have been elected to the Interim Board of Directors: Antoinette Edwards and Karen Petersen. Antoinette is the founder of PFLAG Portland Black Chapter, whose life’s work centers on healing community violence and trauma in communities of color. She is committed to helping right some wrongs, assist with community healing, and chart the course forward. “I believe in and am inspired by Q Center’s mission, vision, and values,” says Antoinette. “I value the power of relationships and the importance of pursuing, developing, and nurturing even beyond the difficult times.” Karen returns to Q Center in an extraordinary role, fulfilling co-chair duties on the Interim Board, while volunteering her time in day-to-day operations on site at Q Center. Karen brings 13 years of experience in fundraising and nonprofit management, a master’s degree in nonprofit management and fundraising, and a long history of involvement as a straight ally in LGBTQ issues. “I’m deeply,
12 • January/February 2015
personally invested in seeing Q Center succeed. It’s a new day, a new time, and a new year at Q Center, and it’s an irreplaceable asset for all of us who count ourselves as part of the LGBTQ community.” Also joining the interim board of directors is Jose Rivas. Jose is the Events Director for the Portland Business Alliance and a long time community advocate. He has served as Festival Chair of Latino Pride, worked in Membership and Outreach for Human Rights Campaign, and serves on the Board of Directors at Our House of Portland. Everything Jose touches turns to gold. PQ Monthly encourages you, our community, to get involved—sustaining Q Center and all its important programs will take a village. Donate, write leadership, volunteer your time—every contribution matters. To review previous leadership in place as of December, 2014, post ED-resignation:
Q CENTER INTERIM BOARD Stephanie Hooper, current Q Center Board Member and Leora Coleman Fire, current Q Center Board Member
NEW ADDITIONS Antoinette Edwards, PBPFLAG Board Member; Zan Gibbs, SMYRC co-founder and former program manager; Robert Goman, Community volunteer & donor; LeAnn Locher, Q Center Founder/Former Board Member; Athen O’Shea, Tranz Guyz PDX Co-facilitator; Portland Trans
March 2014 organizing committee; Lisa Watson, Community volunteer & donor, Cupcake Jones
ADVISORY COMMITTEE Sam Adams, Q Center Co-Founder; Cyreena Boston Ashby, Basic Rights Oregon Board Member; Kendall Clawson, first Q Center Executive Director; Jeana Frazzini, Basic Rights Oregon Executive Director; CM Hall, Basic Rights Oregon Board Member; John Halseth, Basic Rights Oregon Board Member; Bob Speltz, Q Center Founder/Former Board Member; Jackie Yerby, Basic Rights Oregon Board Member
FINANCES Additionally, the center is undergoing a thorough financial audit, which was first reported by GoLocalPDX.”I have full confidence much will be uncovered,” says LeAnn Locher, Q Center spokeswoman. Basic Rights Oregon came through with a large infusion of cash to save the center from dire financial straits: “Basic Rights Oregon’s Board of Directors authorized a $30,000 gift to Q Center to help pay for employee health care coverage and current payroll. It also approved an additional $20,000 gift to help on-going operations of the Center, if needed. These resources were funded out of Basic Rights Oregon’s operating reserve, which the Basic Rights Oregon board has built over the last decade.” PQ Monthly will continue to follow all aspects of this story as they develop.
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VOICES
THEATER FEATURES
TRANSITIONS
This Ends Badly Outline for Column about Long-Distance Courtship By Michael James Schneider, PQ Monthly
Main character: Mike, hopeless romantic, late 30s to early 40s, been in long-term relationships most of his life. Been insulated from realities of dating and being single until two years ago, he calls the phenomena of feeling like a fish out of water the “Single Gay Time Traveler” effect. He reluctantly downloads a hookup app (that he charmingly calls a “dating app”). Should it be Grindr, or Growlr, or Scruff? Let’s make it Scruff. For a while it’s a secret, he won’t tell his friends about it. He’s also kind of judge-y when confronted with “sluttiness” and explicit pics (a character arc for Mike, going from a place of almost prudishness to eventually embracing his sexuality). Mike’s best friend: her name is Jen or Ginger, she’s sassy and forthright. He tells Jen he’s on the app, shows her how it works. Somehow he also gets in a conversation with his boss about Scruff, shows it to her, she’s fascinated. “That one looks familiar,” she says, brows furrowed. “Oh, the one less than 250 feet away from us? Yeah he’s a customer in the store right now,” Mike replies. His boss is aghast and delighted. There should be a part of the story where it talks about the history of dating apps, the turning point when the more mainstream dating websites migrated to apps to respond to how much people now use their phones. Also address the whole “proximity” concept; has that brought communities together, or has the ease of dehumanizing and blocking people though apps made people more prone to disconnecting from others? Mike finds himself on the Global View one day, where he can browse the profiles of men from all over the world. A profile catches his eye; it’s of a guy younger than Mike, maybe 24? No, that’s too young. 29? Yes. They start chatting, complimenting each other’s profiles and photos. The guy’s name should be Clark, or Blake, or Parker, something not typical, maybe a little dorky. Ok, Clark. So Clark asks for Mike’s number, they start texting. Clark lives in St. Louis. Over the next week, they text a lot. Mike asks Clark on a Skype date. Clark doesn’t have Skype; they set a day and time to FaceTime. They FaceTime; it’s great. They tell stories about their families, talk about foods they love, give walking tours of their respective apartments, and introduce their pets to each other. Mike has a cat, Ned. Should Clark have a dog? Yes. Its name is Dog, and Mike makes fun of this name. Do Mike and Clark decide to do shots on the call? Yes, they share a shot together; they both have bourbon in the house. The date lasts two hours. Hmm. Clark shouldn’t live quite so far. How about Denver? OK, Clark lives in Denver. So they plan another date. This time
it’s late afternoon, on a day they both have off. During the first call, they shared what their favorite drink was, and Clark’s favorite drink is a Moscow Mule, which Mike has never had. Before their call, Mike sets out the cut lime, the Vodka, the ginger beer. When they get on the call, Mike tell Clark to “make him a drink” over the video call. Clark makes fun of the mason jar Mike’s making it in, “That’s Portland as fuck,” he laughs. In Denver, Clark tries to tell him how to make a Moscow Mule, as Mike pours the ingredients for himself in Portland. Mike tastes the drink: it’s terrible, but Clark is thoroughly charmed. After the call is over, Clark looks at flights to Portland. On the third date, it’s Clark’s turn. He tells Mike the exact time of the video call. Right as they get on the call, Mike’s buzzer for his building rings. Clark just smiles. Mike opens his door: it’s a delivery service, with an order of Italian food (Mike’s favorite) and a Blu-Ray. What should the movie be? A classic, like Hitchcock’s Notorious? Say Anything? No, it’s an odd choice, it’s Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, and after they eat dinner together on the video call, they both watch the movie simultaneously in their respective cities, and text each other as they watch. Mike is smitten. On the next call, Mike not-so-subtly extolls Portland’s attractions, and eventually invites Clark to visit for a long weekend. They talk about expectations, “If there’s not chemistry, then you can crash on my couch, and if there is...”, Mike stops, blushes. Clark agrees to come, says he’ll look at flights and get back to Mike, they get off the call and neither can sleep that night. Mike finally tells Jen about Clark, shows her pictures, tells her about the dates. Jen is charmed, but pragmatic. She’s protective of her friend, she’s seen him get hopeful and then hurt before. She asks if either is relocatable (both are), she asks how often they would see each other (probably a couple times a month, alternating cities, or meeting in a “neutral” city they would both like to explore). Something is wrong, though. Clark’s communication pattern is changing, he’s not texting anymore, and when he does, it’s monosyllabic and cold. Mike seeks out Clark on Scruff, and tries to engage him there in some flirty conversation. Clark blocks him. Mike texts him the next day, and Clark replies a day later. “Sorry. Started seeing someone. Good luck.” Wrap up post by bringing back earlier point about how apps have made it easier to disconnect with each other. How meeting electronically has made it effortless to be rude to one another. How when there are no consequences to bad behavior, there’s no incentive for nuance and nobility. End piece with affirmation of Mike’s optimism for meeting someone great.
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Michael James Schneider is a writer, designer, and artist based in Portland, OR. He writes for his wildly unpopular and poorly-named blog, BLCKSMTHdesign.com. pqmonthly.com
January/February 2015 • 13
FEATURE
“AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF AN ANDROGYNE” QUEER AMERICA CIRCA 1900 By Leela Ginelle, PQ Monthly
LGBTQ history in America, pre-Stonewall, can be shadowy. A few famous names are well-known, but the rhythms of life for those who comprised the active community, a community legally barred from existing, are little known. Given this, one might think a memoir like Ralph Werther’s “Autobiography of an Androgyne” would be a topic of endless discussion among those interested in queer, trans and gay studies, but it’s not so. Despite a fine reissue by Rutgers University Press, with a masterly introduction by Scott Herring, the text remains nearly as obscure today as when it was first published in 1918. Some of this may have to do with the book’s inelegant combining of genres, which include scientific case study, personal history, and first person erotica. Werther (which was a pen name), was well-versed in the recently founded field of sexology, and quotes its foundational texts, most specifically Richard von Krafft-Ebing’s “Psychopathia Sexualis,” throughout his book. Sexologists like Krafft-Ebing were actively attempting to categorize what was considered then deviant or “pathological” sexual behavior, including homosexuality, in their work. Werther specifically addresses his book to medical and legal professionals, employing their language, in an effort to promote understanding and acceptance for those like himself. Werther labels himself an “invert,” a term then popular with sexologists, for describing homosexuals who displayed traits associated with the opposite gender. Reading his story, it’s hard not to conclude Werther would today identify as a transgender woman. He refers to himself as female throughout the book, and several times uses variations on the term, “female consigned to a male’s body.” He, likewise, expresses a constant, then-forbidden desire to wear women’s clothes, recalls a traumatic experience of puberty during which he felt suicidal, and experiences persistent bodily dysphoria, refusing to ever involve his genitals in his seemingly unending sexual encounters.
It can be difficult to read Werther employ language meant to pathologize LGBTQ people in his self-descriptions. As is so often the case, femininity is degraded at every turn. Werther attributes everything he sees as weak or frivolous about himself to his “inversion.” He also seems to roll his desire to play the part of an infant during sexual encounters into a theory that all homosexuals are immature. Wether had very little to work with, however, in constructing his self-definition. He describes himself as a university student, seeking any information he could find about his identity. Because of the cultural taboo against
gender and sexual minorities, he found only works like Krafft-Ebing’s. He, himself, would be expelled from the university when a doctor he confided in about his activities (throughout his early life he sought a “cure”), informed officials there. When, upon leaving, he asked a professor for a recommendation, he was told he should expect none, as he was now “an outcast from society.” A large portion of the book is devoted to what Werther terms his “active career as a Faerie.” While repetitive, and, at times, somewhat horrific, these portions are fascinating historically. In great detail, Werther describes his experiences in working class New York City neighborhoods, and
on various military bases, searching for mates and sexual partners. Werther created a persona, “Jennie June,” for these excursions, which took place once a week, as he maintained what he called a “double life.” He recreates dialogues he had during both successful and unsuccessful seductions. In them, he invariably praises his paramour’s manliness and virility, while referring to himself as “a baby girl.” A drinking game involving the times Werther was beaten, robbed, blackmailed or handed over to the police during these encounters, would, sadly, likely result in alcohol poisoning. Reading these accounts, it can be difficult to tell whether life was universally precarious for LGBTQ people during this time, or whether bad judgment on Werther’s account contributed to his travails. Indeed, the unprocessed nature of these experiences diminishes the book’s power. From his descriptions of his childhood, we see how the shame at being rejected by his family and peers impacts Werther, a pattern repeated at his college. In the sections involving his courtships and seductions, it’s as though we’re watching this internalized negativity acted out, perhaps unbeknownst to him. It took Werther ten years to find a publisher for his “Autobiography,” which he hoped would ignite widespread sympathy and understanding for people like himself. Reading it now can feel humbling, as one winces at the out-of-date terms, and problematic arguments. How will what we say now look to our queer descendants in 2114? Werther called his forays into the neighborhoods and bases he frequented, evenings of “female impersonation,” despite the fact that, because of societal repression, such impersonation was limited to voice and mannerisms. Even these impersonations, such as they were, left him beaten nearly to death on several occasions. A century later, there is more safety and space for people like Werther, like us, than there were before, but universal safety and respect, for which the author pleas on more than one occasion in his book, are things we’re all still seeking.
Always have supported LGBT rights, Always will.
14 • January/February 2015
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VOICES
HOLIDAY
LIVING OUT LOUD The Path of Most Resistance By Kathryn Martini, PQ Monthly
This New Year I’ve been thinking a lot about life paths: what they are, what they mean and how to find them. One will hear a remark, “Oh, he just went down the wrong path,” or “She left behind a path of destruction,” or “I’m finding my own path,” in regards to where someone’s life is going or has been. What qualifies as the “right” path is wholly subjective. Paths are a tangible symbol of order—a paved area that leads somewhere to something—a job, relationship, degree, retirement, or a goal of some kind. I imagine a path as a meandering cleared area inviting me to an unknown destination; we can have an idea of what is at “the end” of the path, but often, we change direction on our way and end up in a very different place than we once imagined. And isn’t that what life is about? It would seem some of the most interesting ones very much are. Sometimes I feel as though I’ve lived many lives, and each of those lives had distinctive qualities that were unlike the others, with special people, different interests and activities and contrasting perspectives. This may seem strange to some and very outside of the comfort zone of many, but I’ve embraced the shifts of my life as much as possible, despite struggling a bit at times along the way. Ten years ago I decided that I was interested in being with women on an intimate level and because of that, left a practical, normative, and decidedly safe life of a heterosexual-suburban-stay-at-home-soccer-mom to move into a world I knew nothing of. I transitioned into a new life and became entrenched in my fresh queer culture, which opened a lot of doors for me to new experiences. It’s an interesting concept—opening doors to new experiences—for once one opens, many more begin to follow suit and suddenly life becomes not just more remarkable, but the brevity of it seems ostensibly less tangible. Things that you wouldn’t have and couldn’t have imagined believing or doing suddenly become a part of your new normal and you can’t imagine going backwards. For the past two years I’ve been single. I am single for the first time in my adult life and I’ve struggled with this transition and rebelled against it as much as possible. Systems resist change; my system was set on being with a partner, and although I tried to make one fit into my schema,
he resisted the pressure to conform to my way which forced me to make weird decisions based on what I thought “should be.” For even when we venture off a path to take a new one, we are still guided by beacons of light that are societal norms and old messages that speak to us in the quiet darkness, whispering and reinforcing that pressure to find our path and stay on it, even if that means standing still for a while. What happens when we lose our way? Is it really a loss, or just a new adventure? The only thing we can ever count on in life is that it is always changing and will one day end; each passing day, the possibility of death becomes more likely, yet so many choose to remain persistent in their pursuit of sameness. As a culture, we have difficulty with those who wander and flit through life, deeming them irresponsible and reckless instead of embracing their vigor and vim for this short story that we each get to tell for ourselves. Last spring I was once again forced to change direction as what I was pursuing suddenly became unavailable to me: my mother became quite ill and I was thrust into the petrifying territory known as the “sandwich generation,” caring and making decisions for not just my own life and the lives of my children, but for my parent as well. Nothing can prepare an adult child for this transition and the change had a cascading effect on many other areas of my life, including the educational, employment and life goals I had set for myself. I abandoned my dream of a career in academia for something more suitable and stable, making the “responsible” decision that deviated from what my heart wanted. Although the new path has yet to be determined, I’m sure this latest and unknown adventure will prove to be just as interesting as some of the others I’ve had the pleasure of traveling. It will, more than likely, lead me to an even more exotic place, one that I wouldn’t have and couldn’t have imagined before. For one is not meant to stay on the same path throughout an entire life: new scenery is important for growth and learning; new experiences create a rich and fulfilling life, and falling off or changing paths should not only be accepted, but encouraged. Find a path, or walk in the brush—it really doesn’t matter because the journey is not destined—it’s experienced.
Kathryn Martini is a writer and narrative strategist pursuing a real job in beautiful Portland, Oregon. She can be reached through kathrynmartini.com. pqmonthly.com
January/February 2015 • 15
GET OUT
1
THURSDAY, JANUARY 15
PQ Monthly Press Party—mix and mingle with the makers of your queer newsmagazine. Rub elbows with a wildly diverse crowd. (And hit up Polari afterward. See: Dance it Out to the right.) This month’s shindig is at Vault! As always, 5pm. (And mark your calendars—every third Thursday at rotating venues. Next month: Portland Center Stage.) Want more? We’ll give you 5pm-7ishpm,Vault, everything. Head over to 226 NW 12. Free. pqmonthly.com and check HOME THEATRE out our online calendar of S YS T E M P R E S events, submit your own ENTS: DARK NIGHT events, and peruse photos OF THE SOUL III: an from your reporters-about- evening of stand-up town. Also, remember to tragedy. On Thursday, carefully examine our weekly January 15, help us weekend forecast — with the ring in the new year latest and greatest events — with the second installeach Wednesday (sometimes ment of this season’s Thursday), online only. --DANIEL BORGEN magical storytelling event. Featuring writers, performers, and artists sharing cathartic true stories from the darkest parts of their lives, this experiment in self-evisceration is not to be missed. Watch us flaunt our adult shame, regret, heartache, and failure with another nonfiction experiment in autobiographical alchemy. 8pm, Old Town Floyd’s, 118 NW Couch. Polari. Troll in for buvare. Back-in-the-day language, music, and elegance. An ease-you-into-the-weekend mixer. Bridge Club boys make the music. Bridge and tunnel patrons have no idea what to
do with us when we pour in. Hint: it’s always the Thursday we go to press. What serendipitous fortune! 10pm, Vault, 226 NW 12. Free.
SUNDAY, JANUARY 18
T h e s e c o n d a n n u a l NW Fierce Pageant benefiting CAP, a 100% charity event. Open to all of Idaho, Washing to n a nd O re go n p e rformers. Hosted by Ivanaha Fusionn and Kurtis Hendricks, with a variety of local performers. Starring RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 1 and RuPaul’s Drag Race All-Stars Season 1 phenom Shannel. Watch some queens compete for a crown and sash and raise some money for CAP. Doors at 5pm, show promptly at 6. Embers, 110 NW Broadway. $15.
GET
OUT!
2
FIRST SUNDAYS
Bridge Club. A slew of stellar deejays play music on the city’s most treasured patio. Old Boys Club regularly welcomes special guests. (On hiatus until spring.)
EVERY SUNDAY
Superstar Divas. Bolivia Carmichaels, Honey Bea Hart, Topaz Crawford, Isaiah Tillman, and guest stars perform your favorite pop, Broadway, and country hits. Dance floor opens after the show. The Drag Queen Hunger Games are over, and the shows must go on! Check out the newest and freshest Diva hits. 8pm, CC Slaughters, 219 NW Davis. Free!
DANCE
IT OUT
EVERY MONDAY
Family Home Evening. A weekly, post-work lounge party every Monday night at Vault, featuring DJ Orographic (Bridge Club, Queerlandia) and occasional special guests (Sappho fills in now and then). Jens Irish serves you happy hour all the live long night. 7pm-11pm, Vault, 226 NW Twelfth.
16 • January/February 2015
MONDAY, JANUARY 19
The days are shorter, darker, and colder, but it’s still an excellent time to get your active socializing on. Gay Skate is a joy. Meet queers and mingle with them outside the bar setting — maybe your dream lover will ask you to hold hands during couples’ skate. And there are themes now! Themes! (Check online for the latest—this edition will be particularly crafty.) Come dressed to impress and wine beautiful prizes, and look for our publisher, who’s always handing out copies of PQ. And, you know, you’ll probably get a date. Food drive for
FIRST THURSDAYS
Hip Hop Heaven. Bolivia Carmichaels hosts this hip-hop-heavy soiree night every Thursday night at CCs. Midnight guest performers and shows. 9pm, CC Slaughters, 219 NW Davis. Free.
FIRST SATURDAYS
Sugar Town. DJ Action Slacks. Keywords: Soul, polyester. Great place to find the ladies. 9pm, The Spare Room, 4830 NE 42. $5.
SECOND TUESDAYS Bi Bar—every second Tuesday at Crush, and it’s an open, bi-affirming space for music and mingling. Correction: Bi/Pan/ Fluid/Queer. 8pm, Crush, 1400 SE Morrison.
SECOND FRIDAYS
Slo Jams is a Queer Modern R&B & Neo Soul Dance Night at Local Lounge. DJ II TRILL (TWERK) and DJ MEXXX-TAPE lay down everything from Mary J // Jagged Edge// Keyshia to Badu//Lauryn Etc. 10pm, Local Lounge, 3536 NE MLK. $5.
SECOND SATURDAYS
Hot Flash: Inferno. (Second and Fourth Saturdays) In the heart of Portland is where the women are—dancing the
Take Action Inc. 7pm, Oaks Park, 7805 SE Oaks Park Way.
SATURDAY, JANUARY 24
Dungeons & Drag Queens is a stage production where the a ence gets to experience watching a comedic cast of performers lizing drag to portray the game of D&D live on stage, with some erences to nerd and gaming culture thrown in, as well as a lo LARPing. “Across far away lands, worlds that don’t even go together, a group of unlikely heroes will band together for a singular cause to save humanity!” Or something like that...What happens when you take one of the most famous RPGs in the world and cross it with comedy camp, glamour, and heels? You get DUNGEONS AND DRAG QUEE (EENS…eens…eens…eens). 8pm, Guardian Gam 345 SE Taylor. 21+ only at Critical Sip, Tickets are
SUNDAY, JANUARY 25
From Portland Idol winner CJ Mickens: “Come watch the prem of the all-new The CJ Mickens Show, featuring an all live ba and special guest singers who will blow your minds. Come join at the Funhouse Lounge to hear amazing live music, drink spec and an amazing intermission called ‘Slaughterhouse’ featuring Ce Nicole Williams and I. Don’t miss this experience every month, s ing on January 25th, 2015. I can’t wait to see you!” 8pm, Funho Lounge, 2432 SE Eleventh.
night away and burning up dance floors the second and f Saturdays of every month at Trio. Welcoming all wo queers, and their allies. 6pm-10pm, Trio, 909 E. Burn Mrs.: The queen of theme welcomes its new hostess, Anne Pepper! And dynamic DJ duo: Beyondadoubt an Camino. Costumes, photo booths, all the hits. Lots of la very queer. 10pm, Mississippi Studios, 3939 N. Mississipp
SECOND SUNDAYS
Beat It at Black Book: A beautiful new queer night all for you a of the city’s most exciting new(ish) venues. A monthly event celeb everything from beards and tattoos to butch queens. Mark your c dars: second Sundays. Hosted by JC Po killer deejays. 7pm, Black Book, 20 NW
THIRD WEDNESDAYS
Comedy at Crush: Belinda Carroll and a slew of locals rustle up some funny. Special guests, and Crush’s signature cocktail and food menus. Donations, sliding scale. (Comics have to eat and drink, too, so give!) 9pm, Crush, 1400 SE Morrison.
THIRD THURSDAYS
Polari. Troll in for buvare. Back-in-theday language, music, and elegance. An ease-you-into-the-weekend mixer. Bridge Club boys make the music. Bridge and tunnel patrons have no idea what to do with us when we pour in. Hint: it’s always the Thursday we go pqmonthly.com
$6.
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at one brating calenowers, Third.
MONDAY, JANUARY 26
The return of RuPaul’s Drag Race! Viewing parties at Scandals and The Rainbow Room, for starters.
11am-12:30pm brunch buffet and Poison Waters & Friends Show. (Of course the full bar featuring bottomless mimosas will be available at additional charge!) Tickets via etix.com. Get ‘em, this is sure to sell out!
SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 15
SATURDAY, JANUARY 31
Ghoulfriend: Lovecraft’s Lesbian Night Sponsored by Fantasy. Fantasy for Adults Only proudly sponsors Portland’s newest Lesbian dance night at The Love Craft: GHOULFRIEND! Fantasy is helping this party make fantasies cum true by providing us with giveaway items like a strap-on and harness, gift cards, and much more. Resident DJs Sappho and Shachristmas Lamiracle, plus special guest DJ MISS Q kick off this party. Party Girl hosts, the hottest female bartenders in town, go-go dancer LaLa and more, including additional (sex toy) giveaways. $5 cover. 21+ 9pm-late. Lovecraft: 421 SE Grand. GHOULFRIEND image designed by Michael Horwitz.
SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 1
Poison Waters & Friends Sunday Brunch—a show and “The Bodyguard.” The return of the Poison Waters & Friends Sunday Brunch Show and Film at McMenamins Pubs, Breweries & Historic Hotels Kennedy School is happening Sunday February 1. 21 years and older, $21 includes brunch, show featuring the cast of Hot Chocolate, giving you Forever Whitney, and then the film “The Bodyguard.” 10:30am doors,
to press. What serendipitous fortune! 10pm, Vault, 226 NW 12. Free.
THIRD SATURDAYS
Burlescape! Burlesque & boylesque wrapped in a taste of tease! Zora Phoenix, Isaiah Esquire, Tod Alan. (And there’s more than that, kids.) Zora is a treat and a treasure—and so are her shows. Try one out! 9pm, Crush, 1400 SE Morrison. $10. Gaycation: DJ Charming always welcomes special guests—and here you’ll find everything lesbian, gay, and in between. Be early so you can actually get a drink. Sweaty deliciousness, hottest babes. THE party. Yes, boys, even you can hit on Mr. Charming. We know you want to. 9pm, Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison. $5. Undergear: Eagle Portland’s monthly underwear, jock, mankini, etc., fetish party every third Saturday. Free if you arrive before 9pm or if you use free clothes check upon entry after. After 9pm arrivals who do not check clothes must pay $5 entry. Clothes check and raffle prize provided by Cub Cleaners.
FOURTH FRIDAYS
Twerk. DJs ILL Camino and II Trill. Keywords: bring your twerk. The city’s longest-runpqmonthly.com
Spectrum: Portland’s first visual art and music exravaganza by, for, and of Queer and Trans Youth. All ages, free for youth, $3-$5 suggested donation for adults 25+, all proceeds will go towards The Oregon Queer Youth Summit 2015. This is an anti-oppression space, -isms and cultural appropriation of any kind will not be tolerated. Haters to the left.Branx, 320 SE Second. February 12-March 7: “The God Game.” On their 20th wedding anniversary, Tom and Lisa are surprised by their old friend Matt who has flown in specifically to see them on this special day. Tom is a Republican Senator from Virginia, Lisa is a volunteer at a local shelter, and Matt is the campaign manager for the Republican nominee for the upcoming Presidential election. The three of them have known each other since college and have a long history that has recently been complicated by the death of Tom’s brother, Jay, who was also Matt’s lover. After the initial shock wears off of Matt invading their “special day,” he quickly announces that Tom is the top Vice Presidential choice for his candidate. But there’s one little problem: Tom is agnostic. How will his personal beliefs affect his ambitions, and where will he and Lisa land on this potentially life altering decision to join the Republican Presidential ticket? http://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/899211. Shaking the Tree Theatre and Studio, 823 SE Grant.
ning queer hip hop/R&B party--where artists, deejays, performers come to mix, mingle, and move on the dance floor. Established fun, all night long. 9pm, Local Lounge, 3536 NE MLK. $5.
FOURTH SATURDAYS
Blow Pony. Two giant floors. Wide variety of music, plenty of room for dancing. Rowdy, crowdy, sweaty betty, the one tried and true, even after all these years. 9pm, Rotture/Branx, 315 SE 3. $5.
LAST THURSDAYS
Laid Out, Bridgetown’s newest gay dance party. Seriously, the posters read: “gay dance party.” And oh, how it’s a gay dance party. Thursdays are a real thing again. Deejays Gossip Cat and Pocket Rock-It, with photos by Eric Sellers. (On hiatus.) 9pm, Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison. $3 after 10pm.
LAST SUNDAYS
Sabbathhause Discotheque, gay night is back at Aalto lounge and it is bigger and more queer than ever before. Featuring some of the best deejays and performers around and hosted by night hawk Chanticleer Tru. 8pm, Aalto Lounge, 3356 SE Belmont.
FEATURES
3
TUESDAY, JANUARY 27:
Friends and Family Night for kids. Extra, extra! Eat all about it! On the night of Tuesday, January 27, 50% of the evening’s sales will go directly to Cascade AIDS Project’s Camp KC (Kids Connection, not Camp Kevin Cook). Simply eat at Zeus Café, Al’s Den, or Ringlers Annex on SW Twelfth and the generous folks at McMenamins will make the donation. 303 SW Twelfth. 5pm until close. Camp KC is a fun and safe camp experience that includes swimming, arts & crafts, dance classes, nature hikes, ropes courses, and many other creative opportunities for kids ages 5 – 15 who are infected with and/ or affected by HIV/AIDS. You’re a do-gooder!
PQ PICKS
FEBRUARY 6 THROUGH FEBRUARY 10:
“Matt Shepard is a Friend of Mine.” An important part of our history. This film explores the life and tragic death of Matthew Shepard, the gay student brutally murdered in Laramie, Wyoming in one of the most notorious hate crimes in U.S. history. Framed through the personal lens of friends and family, it’s a story of loss, love, and courage in the face of unspeakable tragedy. Social media tags: @MyfriendMatt #RememberMatt. Matt’s mother, Judy, will be in attendance at a special February 14 screening at 4pm. All shows Feb. 6 – Feb. 10 at 7pm. For more info, connect with Clinton Street Theater through social media. Clinton Street, 2522SE Clinton. Their website: http://cstpdx.com/.
SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 21:
The Love Boat—Our House’s annual gala! This gorgeous evening offers the community a very special guest: Scott Nevins. (If somehow you have no idea who we’re referencing here, do yourself a favor and google him immediately. Posthaste. With a quickness. Do it now.) Please join Our House for The Love Boat! The evening will include a silent auction, followed by a sensational dinner, first class entertainment, and one of the best live auctions in Portland. Disco on The Lido Deck , after party immediately following. Tickets on sale now! More event details will be added soon. For additional information please call 503-736-9276 or email events@ourhouseofportland.org, or visit ourhouseofportland.org. Watch “The People’s Couch” in the interim to get your Nevins fix. January/February 2015 • 17
VOICES FEATURES
EMBODY: GOOD POSITIONS FOR BAD BACKS
Photo by J Tyler Huber Photography. By Sossity Chiricuzio, PQ Monthly
I want to help you feel good in your body. That is not only the purpose of this column, but also the driving force behind every healer I know. Many queer folks, and anyone else with a body that varies from what is called the norm but is actually rare, have likely had a very different experience when seeking healthcare. The best healers are trying to be not only a cure, but an antidote to that sense of betrayal, or shame, or invisibility that can come in a small room with an authority figure assessing you for wrong-ness. Similarly, sex is often made out to be dirty, deviant, full of pitfalls, traps and guilt. While I fully support playing on those concepts of deviance and dirty during well negotiated and consensual sex play, I don’t believe that sex is any of those things. To give and receive pleasure in this quirky bag of water, nerves, and bones is one of the best gifts we’ve been given. This space is for that antidote. For that sacred temple that is both your body, and the journey to being fully in it. For honest, kind, respectful answers to your questions,
and examples of self-care, and access to information about health and joy and pleasure. For the ways we can embody our stories, our truths, and our desires. Like many adventures, it’s good to start with some basics. I’ve asked Suzi Levy D.C. of Asha Wellness to give us the benefit of her many years of experience as both a massage therapist and a chiropractor. Let’s start with what a bad back is: First the disclaimer. This is a long disclaimer, a summary of what would otherwise be a book. For purposes of simplicity, I am going to be focusing on penetrative sex; in order to be gender and identity inclusive, I will refer to a giver (someone who is doing the penetrating) and receiver (someone being penetrated). Please keep in mind that the mechanics will change slightly based on the tool someone is using to penetrate or depending on which part of the pelvis is being penetrated. Please use this article for educational purposes. If you are having back pain or need ergonomic advice for sex, please seek care from a qualified professional. A bad back is any issue that causes back pain, muscle spasm or other discomfort. The pain can be anywhere from the top of your neck to the bottom of your tailbone. Often people are referring to a pain they feel right now or to the fact that their back will feel pain if they engage in too much activity. How is this most likely to affect sexual positions? It is not so much the positions they can’t get into but the pain that stops them from wanting to participate in the first place. The few patients who actually admit that pain is interfering with their sex lives report frustration with having to choose between a fulfilling sexual experience and living the next 5 days without a “bad back.” Why do injuries get exacerbated during sex? As much as I would love all my patients to be perfectly aware of their ergonomics at all times, this is a tall order during sex. What most are aware of is the goal. “Feel good, make another feel good, contort into an awkward position so that I can watch while another feels good. Contort even further so I keep feeling good – need to go a little to the left to get to the right spot? Sure I can become a pretzel for the next 5 min.”
If you were to go to the gym and do 10 hip extensions properly and start to fail proper form on the 11th, any good trainer would say, “OK you’re done. If you keep going you are going to injure yourself.” But in the moment of sex all you are hearing both inside and outside of your head is “more!” And how many more reps do you plan to do? AS MANY AS IT TAKES! And my back hurts? What’s a back? I believe that there are only two or three parts of my body right now and my low back ain’t invited to this party. Or even if one is aware enough to realize “Ah, my perfect thrusting form has started to falter, I am now recruiting the incorrect muscles for this movement. Surely this will hurt later.” Most of the time the answer is “so be it.” Unless you are riding solo, there is at least one other person who has a stake in your movements. What are some good positions for people with bad backs? During sex, you are either in flexion or extension. If you are a person that feels better standing than sitting, then you are going to do better with extension. If you are person who feel better sitting than standing, you are going to do better with flexion. If you are a person who is always having to go between standing and sitting because nothing feels good for long then, you guessed it, you are going to have to be switching up your positions a little more often. Anything else you want to leave our readers with? Hollywood teaches us that sex should be a whirlwind of spontaneous intensity that can act as a temporary reset button for all the troubles of your life. But remember, those Hollywood scenes are scripted. Communicate with your partner about what makes you feel good and what doesn’t. It will not only increase your pleasure, it will increase trust and intimacy. I look forward to the article you write on how to talk to your sex partners about pain during sex. End note: If you have questions you’d like me to answer or seek out answers for, products you’d like me to review, people you’d like to hear from, or resources to share, please get in touch! Sossity can be reached at sossity@motherwit.com.
PQ Podcasts!
MONTHLY
Mouthy &
Look out for: 18 • January/February 2015
pqmonthly.com
STYLE PERS{ECTOVES
STYLE DECONSTRUCTED: “GRAB THE PREP-H. TRUST. IT WORKS.”
By Eric Sellers and Michael Shaw Talley, PQ Monthly
In a city teeming with fashion, personal expression, and trend setters, we want to get into the heads of some of Portland’s stylish LGBTQ icons. To us, style is not made in magazines, malls, or on television; it’s personal. That is the reason for this style deconstruction. Name: Chanticleer Age: 31 Occupation: Musician/Singer/Performance Artist PQ: What age were you when you realized style mattered? Explain: idols, musicians, peers. CT: Style was always emphasized in my early life. My mother (a musician herself) was absolutely obsessed with fashion. She would take us out of school just to go on shopping trips out of town. My brothers and I definitely inherited that part of her. We are all very concerned with aesthetics. In our family everything is curated. Expression is preached and practiced in form. We had to iron/steam our clothes every evening in preparation for school the next day. PQ: Who gives you a style boner today? CT: I don’t really have to look far these days. Having chosen the artist’s path, I am constantly surrounded by really creative and inspiring people. Everyone’s really thoughtful about their personal style. From clothes, to decor, to umbrellas, to stationary, to food, the people in my community are intentional. I appreciate it. PQ: What is most valued article of clothing you have purchased? Why? CT: There is always a huge ebb and flow in my closet. Having lots of creative friends around often means sharing, borrowing, gifting; I don’t hold on too tightly to anything and yet I am completely and 100% in love with anything that I purchase. PQ: Do you wear jewels? What accessories are a must have in your closet? CT: We had to wear watches as a child. We each got a really nice Ambuchi-made watch for our 13th birthdays. They were bought all at once the first time that we lived in Europe pqmonthly.com
and gifted to us on that particular birthday. Watches never really appealed to me though. A really strange thing would happen, something else that I inherited from my mother. Watches never keep time on us. Everyone else’s seems to work fine, but the batteries would always drain quickly and the time would slow. Nowadays I love to wear a gawky piece of more costume-y jewelry. I like making my own jewelry out of un-precious materials. That’s something I picked up from my friend Aaron who’s pretty clever at such things. PQ: Smells? Are you all natural? Soaps? Sprays? Discuss. We wanna know brands! CT: Smell is an obsession. I grew up with fragrance. Soaps, oils, cologne, incense, candles—scent is a huge part of my world, anyone who knows me will attest to that. I’ve made my own before, and I usually have an array of designer scents, oils, lotions, tonics, etc. on hand. I never caught that B. O. trend. Actually, I was so very confused when I moved to the West coast. Some of my favorite smells use bergamot, amber, vetiver and other grasses, pepper, tobacco, leather, vanilla, sandalwood. Right now I’m wearing two scents (at the same time). A spray of L’occitane Eau De Vetyver and a new scent by Prada. Both have a lot of those elements that I like. I like to linger in a room. PQ: The soundtrack of your closet, list 4 songs on your Style EP? CT: Inbibio Soundsystem, “The Talking Fish,” Sarah Vaughn, “Jim,” Perfume Genius, “Queen,” Jazmine Sullivan, “Masscara.” PQ: EAT, DRINK, SCENE. What do you nosh? What’s your sip? Where are your haunts? CT: I love dinner parties. I’m a really great cook who happens to also live with two remarkable chefs. You can imagine the goings-on in our kitchen. We like to entertain. A lot. If I’m stepping out I like the out-of-the-way spots. Tanuki on Division is a really great spot that I love. It’s right across from Tub & Tan so you can grab a “soak” if you like afterwards. I actually like to go to T&T with a big group of friends and bring champagne and saké. They have a legit outside tub complete with waterfalls, misters, LED lights. It’s a hoot. I’m also a happy hour qween. Tasty on Alder has a great one. My friend Damaris and I also have a secret list of happy hour
hideouts that we’ve been developing for a while. PQ: Forever young! I wanna be forever young! What do you slather and slop on to pamper yourself? Give me when, what, where, when, why. CT: I love potions. The mistake a lot of people make is waiting until the wrinkles are there already before getting a regimen. I’m absolutely obsessed with Thomas Peter Roth products. They are pure alchemy. I believe the tag-line is “Clinical Skin Care” and that shit is absolutely true. I use the anti-aging line on the regular—as well as the resurfacing line. One of my favorite products is the anti-aging buffing beads. You absolutely have to own it if you don’t. Instant softening, fresh, amazing. People will comment on your skin when you use it. I love it. I also keep a literal brick of 100% pure Shea butter on hand at all times. Some of my friends ask me why all of the products, and the answer is simple. I wanna look good. I wanna age well. Gracefully. I want to be a sexy older gent. That starts now and not later. I’m trying to fucking Dr. Evil cryogenically freeze myself in time as best as possible. PQ: You’re going to a party! You stop by the market. What do you bring? CT: Something bubbly or something unexpected like Sour Patch Kids. Maybe some cheese and bread. The latest issue of Busted. Probably all of the above. PQ: You’re going on vacation! Where would you go? What one item is a must bring? CT: Currently, I’m planning on visiting friends in Puerto Rico this year. But, I’d love to go to Berlin again. I always take a tube of Preparation H on a vaca. Not because of hemorrhoids or anything. It’s actually the most effective instant eye cream for under a hundred bucks. When your face is falling off, grab the Prep-H. Trust. It works. PQ: Where are some of your favorite places to shop? CT: I shop absolutely everywhere. Nothing is off limits, except maybe Walmart. From The Bins and House of Vintage, to Redlight and the Halloween store. From Urban Outfitters, Top Shop, and AllSaints (a favorite), to GenX and Top2Bottom. One of my most recent purchases is a 5x oversized heather grey muscle tee from a truck stop in between Portland and Seattle. January/February 2015 • 19
NIGHTLIFE FEATURE STYLE
VOICES
OK, HERE’S THE DEAL … You Can Do Both: On Media Responsibility By Monika MHz, PQ Monthly
I waste a ton of ink each month with intros, but as Stan Lee always said, “every comic book is someone’s first,” and, true believers, I just like helping you settle in before shit gets real. I really didn’t want to come back to this topic. It seems my tenure here at PQ has exclusively meant me discussing mental health to some degree. With the exception of three editions of OKHTD, it’s basically been a one note chorus. The ironic thing, though, is that as soon as I resolved to not write about the topic again for some time, I hit the worst case of writer’s block I’ve had in years. I took my second hiatus of 2014 to recharge, and hope that upon my return I’d find something fresh I could write about. The schtick here at OKHTD is that whatever PQ’s other trans writers are talking about, whatever the broader “trans internet” is talking about, I probably disagree, think there’s an unseen discussion to be had, or I just think someone is flat out wrong. Not because I am contrarian, but because I have a different of opinion. It can be a weird, lonely world being someone who knows what it’s like to be a teenage translatina, but now in her 30’s finds herself always on the weird, ignored side of any issue. Despite that, when I disagree I do so with civility and compassion, understanding that real people can, after thoughtful consideration, as a result of different ideas and life experiences, disagree. And that’s OK. I never bought into the crowdsourced fascist idea of “with us or against us” politics that draws a line in the sand, “litmus” style, and demands conformity. All that being said, it should come as no surprise to our readers that I’m upset by and disagree with the coverage around a 17-year-old trans girl who died by suicide on December 28, 2014. I’m upset because the coverage, perhaps in an effort to have a quick turnaround on coverage, perhaps because of grief and sorrow, perhaps because of sensationalism, the coverage around the life and subsequent death of this young girl seems to ignore a lot of previously established rules about the way we talk about these things. I was upset by the sensational prosedriven descriptions of the specifics on her death, the near universal republishing of a note she left behind after her death as if a manifesto, and the iconification/martyring of a young girl who died a tragic death. Initially, I thought that, perhaps, such things were ignorance driven mistakes. That perhaps, despite the recent publicity around Robin Williams’ death, people really hadn’t put much thought in how one reports on suicide. But according to writers like Arthur Chu at The Daily Beast, it wasn’t a mis20 • January/February 2015
take, but a calculated choice stating, “they can take their ‘ethics,’ and they can go fuck themselves.” And while I’m totally taking that quote partially out of context, I want us to remember that said quote was in an article about suicide. Reminiscent of “climate denial,” when Chu scare quotes, “copycat suicides,” he and other writers mock the very real issue of suicide contagion. Despite their sudden, “suicide contagion denial,” a long time suicide contagion researcher, Madelyn Gould, a professor of Epidemiology in Psychiatry at Columbia University said, in an interview with the New York Times that, “suicide contagion is real, which is why I’m very concerned about it.” And even the CDC recognizes suicide contagion as a public health issue. And Chu isn’t the only one out there dismissing the idea that for some reason this particular death should be treated differently in the media. Much of the LGBT and/or Queer blogosphere leaned into the idea that the politics are destined to save more lives than prudent coverage would. By mocking the idea of contagion, they allow for the reader to recognize the writers’ perceived relative unlikelihood of a contagion effect, and compare it to the writer’s vision for political change as a comparative force. That, because this is a zero-sum game it’s a simple math equation like a Vulcan spouting, “the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few.” Politics over prudence. But see, the deal here is that... You can do both. It’s possible to address the issues at hand without completely violating thoughtful and cautious coverage of the death itself and the note this girl left behind. Several months ago, in a rare, vulnerable moment, I wrote passionately about my brother’s death by suicide and my own struggles with crisis depression and suicidal ideation. I didn’t need to describe the method, or retell any note left behind. It was tough, don’t get me wrong. I kept having to detach myself and take breaks writing, because it was so easy to fall into writing emotionally without thinking of the impact of my words. But this is such a serious topic that deserves measured and thoughtful coverage. Perhaps the issue at hand is, “want” over, “need.” That these writers may not need to use these tactics, but it makes their jobs so much easier and creating emotional impact (and therefore social change) is so much easier. But that’s just the point. Creating emotional impact is so much easier. And to toss up a pre-emptive defense, this is not “concern trolling,” it’s real concern for the little sisters I could lose. Though, it is a fair point that Arthur Chu makes that Sarah Ditum is not the best messenger, that her article came across condescending and inflammatory, and that she is [allegedly] a
OK, HERE IS THE DEAL - CONTINUED TO PAGE 21 pqmonthly.com
FEATURE CALENDAR OK, HERE IS THE DEAL - CONTINUED FROM PAGE 20 shithead. And what may get lost in my words here is I think most of the points being brought up in the media coverage of this girl’s death merit real discussion and action. You can discuss conversion therapy wrecked on this girls life and caused her pain no person should endure, you can discuss how parental rejection of LGBT youth is absolutely an indicator of high risk behavior and major depressive episodes, you can discuss transmisogyny, you can discuss the unrealistic beauty standards of our society (and community), you can discuss this ridiculous notion that starting medical intervention as a trans woman at 18 is, “late,” and you can discuss how much you relate to her story or how you can project yourself into her circumstance. You can even advocate and lobby for a Leelah’s Law that could put an end to conversion therapy for good. You can do every single one of these things, all without flippantly ignoring the recommendations on media coverage of deaths by suicide from the American Association of Suicidology, American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, Columbia University Department of Psychiatry, International Association for Suicide Prevention Task Force on Media and Suicide, National Alliance on Mental Illness, National Institute of Mental Health, New York State Psychiatric Institute, Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, Suicide Awareness Voices of Education, Suicide Prevention Resource Center, The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), UCLA School of Public Health and Community Health Sciences, and the World Health Organization. And if you can’t, you’re probably a shitty writer. If someone you know exhibits warning signs of suicide: • Do not leave the person alone • Remove any firearms, alcohol, drugs or sharp objects that could be used in a suicide attempt • Call the U.S. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-TALK (8255) • Take the person to an emergency room or seek help from a medical or mental health professional Monika MHz is a queer translatina who makes her way as a Portland-based House music producer/DJ, activist, and writer. You can find Monika online at monikamhz. com and @MonikaMHz.
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January/February 2015 • 21
NIGHTLIFE VOICES
FINDING LEO: TRANSITIONING IN CHURCH, A SPIRITUAL PERSPECTIVE By Leo Bancroft, Special for PQ Monthly
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O! Let me speak into the darkness! Remember with anger and grief the too-many-deaths through suicide and murder! Let our voices be heard between clanging gongs of hatred and deafening silences of loss! Let my story be heard as protest in the midst of the pain and suffering caused by “Christian” parents, who try to grind the souls of their children into a compliant pulp. Let me speak honestly of transitioning in church, and my fear of angering God, losing community, and a life of lonely isolation. But please, let me also share my story of hope, grace, community, and love. I need to offer an alternative vision of what may be. At 37, I was the president of my church, a Lutheran from the cradle, with a lifetime of prayer and wrangling with God. But on March 26, 2013, it felt like an ancient clock struck the designated time to unlock the secret … slide … click… drop… and a big loud clunk. The pieces fit together. I finally understood (at first only in the quiet, when I was alone) that I am trans, male despite my anatomy. I’m truly one of the guys, because I am a guy. Sitting in church on that first Easter Sunday, five days after this new realization, I felt the burning of eyes that I imagined were staring at me, and dreaded the wrath of a God who I feared would be mad at me. Slinking in late, crying during the service, I felt I no longer belonged. I had been an outspoken advocate of God’s love for all, regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity, but apparently I didn’t think that applied to me. During the first few months, I felt increasingly uncomfortable going to church and feared disapproval. I completed my term as president, but resigned from council. I just didn’t feel safe or comfortable. I cut my hair, began wearing a binder to flatten my chest, and people wondered. After I came out publicly as trans, it still took a while to be bold enough to wear a packer to give my pants the appropriate bulge. Fortunately, I was still on a rotation to help out with worship, so I had to keep showing up occasionally. Each time, I survived. It wasn’t too bad. People still cared about me, and my own shame and fear seemed less valid. My mom kept encouraging me to go to church. She threatened to cause a stir if I was made to feel unwelcome and left the church. I wish every LGBT child had a parent who would, like her and others I have met, turn into a Mama Bear
in defense of their kid. A parent should not be the bully of their own child. That winter, I was asked to share my story in church; I was given a forum to educate others on my journey and the concepts of the continuums of gender identity and sexual orientation. The first time I preached from the pulpit and shared that I was trans was a powerful experience. I cried in private before I spoke, frightened by the vulnerability and exposure. But I was not struck by lightning, and people still liked me! In July, 2014, the church blessed my new name. In the middle of the service, I was invited to the baptismal font in the center of the sanctuary, with about 14 friends I brought for support in terrified anticipation of people’s response. But instead of judgment, I received a blessing. The congregation prayed for me, for my new life, and my new name. The pastor got choked up as he marked my forehead with the sign of the cross and the church applauded after the prayer. Relief. The community had embraced me, and God had claimed me. The church I had planned to leave has become my home again. Even the little old ladies now call me Leo, and the pastors work hard to use correct pronouns. I began this article in the spirit of protest and lament. In the midst of loud “Christian” voices proclaiming intolerance, I file my story of grace. God’s love is wide, not limited by who is in or out, by who is “holy” or “worthy.” God loves me, no matter what. I am not a mistake, or an abomination. We must affirm the worth, the dignity and the beloved-ness of all people, including, without question, all LGBT people. If you are struggling, may you find courage to keep trying, and may your hope not fail. There is a place for you. I lift my voice in opposition to the cultural image of a harmful, hateful church. This year I am organizing the annual church service for the entire Portland Metro area, sponsored by the Portland Metro Chapter of ReconcilingWorks, hosted at my church. It is a community-wide celebration of LGBT welcome-ness. It will be inspiring and encouraging, with a fantastic speaker, music, and networking over dessert. You are invited to join us, Sunday, January 18, 6:30 p.m. at St. Andrew Lutheran, 12405 SW Butner Road, Beaverton, Oregon. Thank you for hearing my story. I am not in the business of getting people to church, so if you never go, I will still raise a glass to you at my favorite bar, wish you well, and consider you a blessing. pqmonthly.com
ARTS & CULTURE
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January/February 2015 • 23
BOOKS NIGHTLIFE
RICHIE RICH: “EVERYTHING’S BEEN DONE, IT’S JUST HOW YOU DO IT”
By Shitney Houston with Daniel Borgen, PQ Monthly
PQ: Hi Richie! This is Shitney Houston. How are you? RR: I’m good, darling. How are you? PQ: Good! We’ve been doing the Loveball for a couple of years now and they’re just a blast. A lot of people come
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out and it’s just so much fun. RR: I love it! I’ve heard all about it. So I’m excited. PQ: So you were born in Jersey and then moved to San José, right? RR: Yeah, I was in Jersey till I was about 11 or 12. And then, yeah, moved to the San José, Bay Area. And then when I was 16, I started to sneak out of the house, going to San Francisco and working— well, not working on purpose. But I would go to the clubs with my friend’s ID. And this one promoter was like, “Do you dance?” And I’m like, “Sure!” So I started dancing on the bar every Wednesday night and he’d give me like 200 bucks. And that’s where the whole “Richie Rich” thing came from. This kid David was dancing on the bar with me. He had really long hair. He had a really cool androgynous look. I was wearing kilts at the time and like knee high Doc Martens. I would wear those gold plated large necklaces with the dollar signs on them. PQ: Right, yes! RR: And anyway, this guy that I danced with, I remember, he would always ask me what my name was. And I’m like, “I don’t have one. But they’ve called me Richie Rich since kindergarten.” And he like, “Well, that’s your name!” And the next week he brought tons of these bags of fake toy money, and he was like, “Just throw these around where ever you go.” And I would throw it off the bar when I’d be dancing. PQ: You’ve been a fashion icon for many years. When you were younger and in the club scene, what were you all looking to? What was inspiring you during all of that? RR: You know, I’ll tell you, I don’t know. It’s something in me,
innate in me, I always wanted to wear—well, I grew up kind of suburban. I always found myself drawing on my clothes and tearing them up a little bit and way before my friends were doing it. And my mom was always getting so mad at me. PQ: Ha! RR: Yeah. And later on in life I had this really amazing art teacher. You know, a lot of people say they have this one teacher that really struck you in life, and I really did. His name was Mr. McLaughlin. I’d stay after school and he’d show me books on like, Warhol and Basquiat. And like the downtown scene in New York. And I wasn’t exposed to anything like that. When I was younger, my dad worked for The New York Times. So I knew New York and that’s how I fell in love with it at a really young age. I remember being at Macy’s when I was like 3. We would go to all the Broadway shows, which was great. But I didn’t know about the underground part of it all. And at that time like Madonna was becoming so, so… well, you know, MADONNA. So 80s. I love being an 80s child. I guess 90s, but in my brain it’s more 80s, because I was in high school. And it was great. So Madonna and like Bananarama, and all them from Britain brought it all to the masses more. PQ: Yes, right. RR: So I think those are the things I was gravitating towards, like the Adam Ants and all that. It’s funny, I worked at Benetton in high school. PQ: So when you were in New York, you started Heatherette with Traver Rains. How did that all start? I know you guys met through Susanne Bartsch when you were her assistant. But how did it get from you guys chatting, then becoming friends, to this sort of institution? RICHIE RICH p age 25
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MUSIC
RICHIE RICH: “EVERYTHING’S BEEN DONE, IT’S JUST HOW YOU DO IT” Continued from page 24
RR: Well, basically, I was making things to go out and about. And I was assisting Suzanne with her parties. Helping her by day and the parties and clubs at night. She really taught me a lot. And Michael Alig too. I’d work during the day with him too before everything went crazy. So I’d work with them on everything, the parties, the budgets, etc. So in a way, it gave me a lot of knowledge for how to do a fashion show. PQ: What do you think is interesting in the fashion world now? Are you seeing anything that is really striking to you? RR: You know, it’s interesting to me, I’m meeting with all these industry people right now, and they ask what’s out there that inspires me. And that word is a little—well, anything can inspire you. But actually Zach and I were talking about this. You know, I was a club kid back in the 90s. And I never had a lunch box. This whole thing with platforms and lunchboxes, I got it. But I always wanted to be the glamor-rama part of club kids. So instead of platforms, I’d wear Channel heels with boy shorts. PQ: Yes! RR: I liked a lot of Helmut Lang at the time. And the crazy sequin vintage things. So I kind of think it’s going back to that now. It’s minimal, but it’s not boring minimal. Back to a whole Comme des Garçons kind of vibe. It’s a little whack-a-doodle but it’s also a bit—well, I guess I’m trying to say it’s about the art of it all. I don’t even care if they’re labels. I mean labels are labels. It’s just funny to me. I mean, I’ve known Stephanie, you know, Lady Gaga for a long time. It was interesting to me when she came out and everything and I think it’s great. She’s smart. She references like everything in pop culture. But people are like, “That’s so Gaga.” And I’m like, “Well, you know.” Everything’s been done. It’s just how you do it. PQ: What’s important to you to stand out aesthetically? What do you see specifically that hits you? Is it that street thing you’re talking about? RR: Yeah, I mean it really is. It could even be somebody’s stance. When you see someone even at a bar or club or something. It’s the way they carry themselves. It’s confidence, but it’s also—I mean, I’ll see someone wearing a sweater or something and they probably don’t even know how amazing they look. Like when Kurt Cobain wore that famous green sweater. PQ: Right! RR: He probably just got it from the thrift store, but he brought it to something. It’s like a movie star quality. It’s that thing. It just pops out at you. Like look at Pharrell when he wore that Westwood hat that’s been around since the 70s. And all of a sudden it’s like you can’t look at anyone wearing a big hat without thinking of him. He brought that crazy forest ranger hat to life. Or like if I just see some kid on the corner with an oversized hoodie and cool tights. I love androgyny. pqmonthly.com
PQ: So our Loveball is a competitive thing. That kind of ball. RR: I love it. PQ: It’s really fun. We do a Portland twist on it. Sometimes it’s silly categories, but we still try to push the fashion forwardness of it all. We all know you really well as a designer and as a club kid. Were you involved in ball culture at all? Did you ever walk or anything like that? RR: Oh, yeah! A lot of my friends came out of the different houses and stuff. I’ve gone to a lot of the balls in Harlem. Even way back, way before Heatherette. So yeah, it’s so inspiring. My friend Sade Pendavis, she passed away, but she was doing that Patti LaBelle number at the end of “Paris Is Burning.” PQ: Yes. Of course. My favorite. What’s your take on the club and ball scene now? I’m sure you’ve seen a lot since the 90s. But what do you think has changed if anything? RR: Well, thinking about fashion, and clubs, and balls, when things get really gentrified, and the economy isn’t so great, or whatever, that’s when things become even more amazing. I think now with everything people are like, “The more, the better.” Like, don’t shy away. Don’t let it bring down the mystery and the fun. I think that’s great. And with like, for example, Rihanna going, some people might frown upon that thinking that’s commercial, or whatever. But I think that’s great. It shows that they’re inspiring the masses. And you know, like Madonna pissed a lot of people off too. But at the same time, it’s like; it may have been a culture some would not have ever recognized. And really, I’m just so happy it’s all still around. And congrats on the Loveball, by the way. PQ: Oh, God, thank you. It’s been great. We took it to Vancouver last year, and we’re going to San Francisco next month. It’s been a whirlwind. RR: I love it. I’ll be in San Francisco then. So I’ll probably see you. PQ: Yes, you will. RR: Yeah, my friend Zach and Heather were talking about it. It sounded so fun. They asked if I’d come. I was like, “Oh my God. I’d love to.” PQ: That’s great. We’re so excited to have you. RR: Oh, God, me too. I’m excited. I love Portland. I haven’t been in a while. But I’m so excited to come, especially now that I have so many friends there.
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January/February 2015 • 25
FEATURE
GLAPN
PORTLAND LGBTQ COMMUNITY ACTIVIST WINS HUMAN RIGHTS AWARD By George T. Nicola, GLAPN
Portland LGBTQ act iv ist Cor y L . Mur phy has been given the Emily Gottried Human Rights Emerg i ng L eader Award from the Portland Human Rights Commission. Recipients were “selected based on his/her/their efforts to eliminate discrimination and bigotry, to strengthen inter-group relationships, and to foster
greater understanding, inclusion, and justice for those who live, work, study, worship, travel, and play in the City of Portland.” Cory is Director of Operations for Pride Northwest, which runs Portland’s annual Pride events. He serves on the City Club of Portland Finance Committee and is the Co-Chair of the Alliance for Safer Communities. Cory is also on the board of GLSEN Oregon, an organization that “works to ensure that LGBT students are able to learn and grow in a school environment free from bullying and harassment.”
DECEMBER 2014, THE 40TH ANNIVERSARY OF OREGON’S FIRST SEXUAL ORIENTATION NONDISCRIMINATION GOVERNMENT PROTECTION
By George T. Nicola, GLAPN
December 18, 2014 was the 40th anniversary of the first success Oregonians had in getting some sexual orientation non-discrimination government protection. The action was not an ordinance but a resolution passed by the Portland City Council. It banned discrimination based on sexual orientation in city employment.
26 • January/February 2015
The resolution was sponsored by City Com m issioner Con n ie McCready. It passed by a vote of 3-2, with McCready, Commissioner Charles Jordan, and Mayor Neil Goldschmidt voting in favor. Jordan, who had been appointed to the City Council earlier in the year to fill a vacancy, was the first African American Council member. Voting against the resolution were Commissioners Mildred Schwab and Frank Ivancie. Six years later, Portlanders elected Ivancie Mayor. Details on the resolution can be found in the article “City bans homosexual bias from employment policy”, The Oregonian, 12-19-1974. In 1991, Portland passed an ordinance banning discrimination based on sexual orientation or source of income in housing, employment, and public accommodations. Gender identity was added in 2000. A statewide law banning discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity was passed in 2007, effective the following year.
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VOICES
FDA STILL WRONGLY DISCRIMINATING AGAINST GAY AND BISEXUAL MEN By Tyler TerMeer, Executive Director, Cascade AIDS Project
Recently, the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) announced the elimination of the outdated lifetime blood-donation ban of gay and bisexual men, enacting instead a new rule that excludes men who have had sex with men within the past year from donating blood. The removal of this lifetime ban marks a long anticipated and critical step forward, however, this year oneyear deferral period continues to wrongly discriminate against gay and bisexual men. The lifetime blood-donation ban was established at a time of crisis, early in an epidemic, when reported cases were primarily among the gay community. In these early years of the epidemic, blood transfusions were at increased risk for transmission of HIV infection. By the end of 1983, with more than 2,100 AIDS-related deaths and very little known about the transmission of the disease, the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) released a policy excluding blood donations from men who have
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had sex with other men any time after 1977. In 1985, however, an HIV test became available, and screening of blood donations rapidly became universal, making the US blood supplies among the safest in the world. Despite this progress, the FDA upheld this inherently discriminatory ban and has recently announced new policy that is equally as harmful. As an openly gay man and a person living with HIV, I am personally offended by the FDA’s new policy that further promotes stigma against HIV as well as gay and bisexual men in this country. Since the early years of epidemic, we have witnessed first-hand how fear, stigma, and discrimination have fueled the spread of HIV. The FDA missed a moment of opportunity in which they could have created an actual risk-based blood donation policy that would have taken steps toward eliminating fear and discrimination. Instead, by implementing this policy, the FDA will continue to fan the flames of the outdated stereotype that HIV is only a “gay disease.” The American
Medical Association, the Red Cross, America’s Blood Centers, and the Association of Blood Banks agree that the lifetime ban is not only discriminatory but is also medically and scientifically unwarranted. Cascade AIDS Project has long stood with national advocates in recommending that the FDA establish policies that carefully distinguish between high- and low-risk behavior based on a modern and medically based understanding of HIV transmission. As members of the AIDS United Public Policy Committee, CAP also continues to urge the FDA to move forward with the implementation of a hemovigilance system to track, report, investigate and analyze risks and adverse reactions that can occur as a result of blood transfusion. Such a system would increase the safety of the blood supply and provide an early warning system for potential threats. The outdated lifetime ban on gay men donating blood has not made sense for decades, but the FDA’s recently updated policy is not the answer. This policy definitely doesn’t seem to take any consideration for the advancements in blood screening, HIV treatment or of biomedical HIV prevention strategies such as Pre-exposure Prophylaxis (PrEP). As a community we must call on the FDA to move to an individualized, comprehensive and effective deferral system for all donors based on actual — not perceived — risk.
January/February 2015 • 27
THEATER
TWO NEW SHOWS HIT THE BOARDS AT PCS
By Leela Ginelle, PQ Monthly
January sees the opening of two exciting new shows at Portland Center Stage. First up is playwright Christopher Durang’s Tony winning 2013 hit, “Vanya and Sonia and Masha and Spike.” Durang, known for his absurd, provocative comedies, such as “Beyond Therapy,” and “Betty’s Summer Vacation,” which had a stellar revival at defunkt last year, is said to have crafted a more relatable, heartfelt work with this show, which concerns siblings whose unsatisfying lives are upturned by the appearance of their movie star sister and her hunky boy toy. The show, which Chekhov lovers will likely infer, uses the Russian’s “Uncle Vanya” as a stepping off point, updates matters with LGBTQ characters, and references to
themes like climate change. “Vanya” won Durang his first Best Play Tony, and will run on PCS’s main stage. Portland Center Stage’s other big opening this month is the world premiere of Yussef El Guindi’s “Threesome.” As the title implies, “Threesome” concerns a couple, Leila and Rashid, who, hoping to remedy their relationship issues, invite a relative stranger into their bedroom, leading to all manner of unforseen emotional complications. Helmed by Chris Coleman, PCS’s artistic director, the show explores themes of sexism, possession and independence. The show plays in the Ellen Bye Studio theater, downstairs at the Armory, suiting its intimate themes. It’s recommended for audiences over 17, as it features both female and male nudity, as well as strong language.
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SEE AND BE SEEN
PHOTOS
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Featured: PQ Monthly Press Party at Scandals, Superstar Divas Megashow, and Lumbertwink NYE. Photos by Christopher Alvarez, Official Fans of the Superstar Divas Megashow (find them on Facebook), and Wayne Bund, respectively.
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January/February 2015 • 29
QUEER APERTURE Through his Queer Aperture project, photographer Jeffrey Horvitz has spent years documenting the LGBTQ communities of Portland, San Francisco, Seattle, and Vancouver, B.C. He’s well aware that a picture paints a whole mess of words, but here he offers a few actual words to better acquaint us with his dynamic subjects. What is your name? Mx. Collin McFayden
Favorite book? “The Half Life,” by Jonathan Raymond
How long have you lived in Portland? Since 1975
Favorite movie? “The Devil Wears Prada”
What is the first time you noticed gayness existed? In 1976, when my Dad came out to me
Favorite word? Fascination
What would you consider a guilty pleasure? Pleasure is never guilty when it is earned
Least favorite word? Stagnation
You’re having a dinner party of 6, who would you invite? Dorothy Parker, Tina Fey, Melissa McCarthy, Tallulah Bankhead, Lucille Ball, and Oscar Wilde
Favorite swear word? Fuckwad
What would you consider a perfect meal? Perfectly fresh fish and shrimp tacos with a cold beer on a tropical beach What would be a perfect day off? An extra snuggle with my lady, a long trail run, followed by brunch and thrift store shopping with my sweetie
What is your profession? Restaurant Chef If you could with a snap of a finger what would be another profession you would like to do? A Professional time traveler Whom would you like to meet dead or alive? Julia Child
PHOTO BY JEFFREY HORVITZ
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