G AT E K E E P E R S
A D AY I N THE LIFE OF A LONGSHOREMAN
+ RNC GUIDE
MUSIC / ENTERTAINMENT / ARTS & CULTURE / LIFE / INDE PENDENT / PRESSURELIFE.COM
PressureLife Creative Director, Owner
Jim Bacha
Art Director
Hannah Allozi
Operations Manager
Aaron Gelston
PRESSURE PEOPLE
MEET THE PRESSURE TEAM Ben Diamond
Senior Writers
Dan Bernardi Will Kmetz
Project Coordinator
Tiffany Fields
Just another kid from Akron, Ben Diamond celebrated the Cavs’ championship with a ceremonial Galley Boy from Swenson's. He is PressureLife's resident coffee nerd and will attempt to convert you if direct eye contact is made. Ben loves writing for writing's sake, with a motive for telling compelling stories. As a singer-songwriter, Ben likens his stage presence to that of a high-quality Joe Walsh/Dan Auerbach impersonation. He also enjoys voicing interesting observations in a timely comedic manner.
Staff Writers
Kevin Naughton Gennifer Harding-Gosnell Ben Diamond
In all seriousness, Ben is a huge fan of mythical creatures. While he hopes that Bigfoot is an inter-dimensional guardian, he'll be happy if The ‘Squatch is just "blurry" as Mitch Hedberg once suggested.
Contributors
Casey Rearick
Managing Editor Editor Content Strategist
@gelston.design
Ryan Novak Alex Bieler Adam Dodd
@caseyrearickphoto
Anthony Franchino @anthonyfphoto
Amy Sokolowski Annamarie Hudson Anna Yunker Andrew Gabriel Darrick Rutledge Graham Beck Matt Yunker TJ Lewis Wilson Rivera Distribution
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Enjoying PressureLife? We would love to hear your thoughts.
Wilson Rivera One of our newest writers, Wilson Rivera, is a self-proclaimed noodle; he's an all-around jokester, but adaptable to serious, professional situations. With a gleaming display of wit, Wilson is a local comedian and member of a sketch comedy group called Pizza Money that performs once a month at Mahall's. He approaches his writing in the same spontaneous fashion as his stand-up, balancing realism and absurdity. His perpetual sense of humor may explain why he was once stabbed at a Georgio's Pizza. Wilson is a video game buff, loves DC Comics, and dabbles in music. Before pursuing his comic dreams, he trained as a competitive speed eater and fit twenty marshmallows in his mouth at once.
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Weir's Waldo This Time? If you're anything like us, you're still cheering over the CavaWeirs epic win. The drought is over. Order has been restored to the city. And finally...Weir the champions. But despite many months of triumphant revelry ahead of us, it's best not to be blinded by victory. Even for titleholders, there's always next Weir. Take our latest champ Jason, who hit nothing but net when he found Weir hiding #allin at the Far More Cafe last issue. Now you've got the chance to earn the next title.
Do whatever it takes to win. Hit the mental gym and sharpen your senses. Your eyes need a rigorous training session. And do you even lift, bro? 'Cause these pages aren't gonna turn themselves. Everyone's after Weir and the shot clock's running out. Better make it a montage. For your chance to score a $25 gift card, locate the elusive Weir dunked away in one of our advertisements and be the first to shoot his location to @thepressurelife (through Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram). Game on!
Want to wear Weir?
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CONTENTS JULY / AUGUST 2016
Weekly Top 5 and PressurLife vs.
28
06 Who Cares?
One Strange Day with Go Roger
We “peace” together a musical mystery
08 Queen of the Underground
06 10
Will Chow Chow fell the Food Network’s beast!?
12 City of Gold
Cleveland: Where Winners Live
08
12
14 Cleveland's Gatekeepers
A day in the life of a longshoreman
24
20 Derelict Cleveland
An Inside Look at Some of CLE’s Coolest and Creepiest Abandoned Buildings
23 The DIY Guide for
Owners of Classic Homes
Resources for owners of “classic” homes
He Damn Well Pleases
The Cleveland-born comic’s new book of literary laughs
28 The PressureLife Guide to the RNC Participate, hear a dissenting voice, or binge drink until it's over.
Check out his recent Top 5 where he makes a compelling argument of the top five reasons East Cleveland should host the 2016 Summer Olympics instead of Rio de Janeiro. Hear him out, it kinda makes sense, kinda. And be sure to send in your own suggestion for an upcoming Top 5 list. Maybe you’ve got a great idea, or maybe you’re just a crazy person. Either way, we’ll take it!
THE PREMIER BISTRO AND WINE BAR Discover the sensational flavors of a seasonally-inspired menu and an international wine list in a casually-sophisticated atmosphere.
BISTRO83.COM
David vs. Goliath, Frasier vs. Ali, Holmes vs. Moriarty, Oasis vs. Blur, Spy vs. Spy, and now, PressureLife vs…Dun, Dun, Dun!!! Every other month PressureLife releases a new issue of your favorite magazine. That “other” other month? We’re starting a little thing we like to call "Pressure vs…" We’ll be challenging local businesses, athletes and celebrities to a little friendly competition, various feats of strength, games of finely-honed strategy and other elite-level gladiatorial grudge matches like pinball, blindfolded poker, speed eating, drunken croquet, thumb wrestling and bare-knuckle boxing…okay, maybe not bare-knuckle boxing.
24 Dave Hill Lives Wherever
Be sure to stop by pressurelife.com every Friday to check out our weekly Top 5. Adam compiles the fiercest and most formidable of Cleveland, chronicling the freaky and the fantastic, the famous and fashionable… more “F” words! Whether it’s the Top 5 local midnight movies hosts, street murals, poets, or just the best bar to find those mini bowling machines, Adam’s out to eat shrimp and make lists, and he’s deathly allergic to shrimp.
A conversation with Cleveland’s premier experimental tastemaker
10 Chow Chow Kitchen vs. The Fieri Loop
20
LUNCH, HAPPY HOUR, DINNER
14
You can catch the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat at pressurelife. com, where we’ll be posting video clips of all the Cleveland clashes as well as some truly WWE-inspired masked challenge clips. This is sure to be wildly unpredictable and massively fun, so join us every other month for Pressure vs…!!!
FOLLOW US Facebook // Twitter // YouTube // Instagram @thepressurelife
Issue 8
| PRESSURELIFE.com 5
"WHO CARES?"
DB: Well there's always more to the story. The origin, the inspiration, the approach. P.M.P.: Who cares? DB: Haha. Our readers and your listeners will care, if they like your sound. P.M.P.: But is it really our sound if it's in your head? And this went on throughout the course of breakfast. They had essentially flipped the interview on me, but I was too engaged to notice. Eventually, I posed a simple question: “What is your vision?” P.M.P., derailed, replied, “Ah, you want the banger? Later.” We left the diner and I was ushered to their car, at which point I realized that this story is bigger than a confusing breakfast reverse Q&A. Something was clearly being hidden and I wanted to know more than ever exactly what the hell was going on.
One Strange Day with Go Roger Dan Bernardi
It
was mid-June, hot, and muggy enough for a sweat T-shirt contest, and I'm poking around social media for any info I can get about Go Roger, an eclectic, secretive Cleveland band that caught my interest with their positively ill new music video for “Skillet,” a retro hip-hop Cleveland anthem. According to the video details, it's the first single off of Go Roger's first release, a double EP, pussEPeace.
A game of cat and mouse with Cleveland’s most mysterious musicians
Initially, I suspected that Go Roger is a reformation of an old local band called Kill Roger, known for subversive themes and frenzied live shows. After scouring the internet, the only connection between the two bands and mention of pussEPeace was sourced to another local publication's recent article. It was an interview with a spokesman for Go Roger named “Go, aka No One Body” who spoke of a vague “movement” among other musical aspirations. It sounded batshit crazy. My interest was piqued when I analyzed the article's only image—a photo of the band. A yin-yang of opposing men, hands open as if eagerly awaiting communion, are being touted as the faces of Go Roger. Every inkling of my intuition tells me that if I was remembering the band correctly, these guys are not the puppet masters of this organization. I reached out to some old friends in the music scene, hoping to get in contact with Go.
The duo drove me to a relatively seedy motel and inside granted me an early one-man viewing party of their second video single, “pussNpeace.” The polar opposite tone of “Skillet,” it's a darkly hypnotic fever dream dedicated to ex-Cavs guard Delonte West. The video, which was released days later, features two masked men, presumably Jones and P.M.P., in a trippy mix of serenity and insanity. This was my first taste of something real on this trip, but I just couldn't imagine why they'd bring me to skeezville to view it. these guys are Go Roger. I was introduced to the jovial P.M.P., eagerly awaiting breakfast, his stoic companion who simply stated his name as “Mike Jones,” and a photographer they brought named Egnal who snapped shots in the background and said nothing. Notably, no one went by the name Go or No One Body. We took a booth in the back and ordered. The coffee arrived, and I opened my notes to initiate the interview when Mike Jones took and passed them to an unknown man walking by our table. Before I could utter a complaint, P.M.P. said. “Use your brain.” Unconventional. I was ready to wing it, and my first question was actually a no-brainer. This is a rough memory transcript of the conversation: Dan Bernardi: Tell me about yourselves, your style. Who is Go Roger? P.M.P.: Is that important? DB: People usually want to meet the minds behind the music. P.M.P.: Isn't it more about the music behind the minds?
When I exited the motel, an Uber was waiting to take me to an inconspicuous house at the edge of town. P.M.P. was parked on the porch when I arrived. He welcomed me to an extension of FYOComfortzone Studio, a collective of hiveminded artists who come together for maximum creative output on a multitude of unspeakable projects. As I entered the house, crowded with the band's friends and associates, I was shown a slew of allies' names immortalized on a sign-in board before being taken upstairs to a near-empty room.
I was left wondering exactly how hard they were fucking with me.
On the floor behind a laptop and speakers sat a silent masked figure, straight out of the “pussNpeace” video. Based on body type, I assumed this was Jones post-costume change and that I'd finally get to hear pussEPeace. Instead the speakers emitted a series of elk mating calls for roughly fifteen minutes. My irritation level began to climb until the masked man began mixing epic beats around the moans. What is the meaning of this? It was poetic, and off-the-charts bonkers and I was in a state of ultimate curiosity when P.M.P. pulled me from the room and led me to a dimly lit, cluttered basement.
Hours later I received the strangest, most intriguing restricted phone call of my life. An odd masked voice on the other end of the line knew my name, who I was, who I wrote for, and abruptly arranged a meeting for the following Saturday. The call was short lived, but I squeezed in an inquiry about Go Roger's past life. I was shut down with a puzzling statement: “There is no past.” They hung up, and I was left wondering exactly how hard they were fucking with me.
An elegant man sporting dreadlocks sat idly at the drums, Jones stood nearby, and P.M.P. sat me down for a rehearsal for the upcoming album release show, “PeaceFest.” I asked for more details and was only
On June 18, a scorcher, I arrived at a diner in Lakewood. Surprisingly, I was greeted by the same men from the photo. Maybe I was wrong;
WHO CARES continues on page 9
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PRESSURE PICKS
Upcoming Shows to See
The Deep End feat. Gladiator & Space Jesus July 16 // Beachland
Murs
July 17 // Grog Shop
Prophets of Rage
July 19 // Agora
Vans Warped Tour
July 20 // Blossom
Bloc Party
July 24 // House of Blues
The Last Shadow Puppets July 24 // Agora
Ghostface Killah
August 4 // Agora
WMC Fest
August 5–7 // Ohio Theatre at Playhouse Square
Blink-182
August 9 // Blossom
World Famous Gospel Brunch
August 14 // House of Blues
Snoop Dogg & Wiz Khalifa August 14 // Blossom
Chris D’elia
August 18–20 // Hilarities
Dick Dale
August 19 // Grog Shop
Bayside
August 24 // Agora
Rhea Butcher
August 24 // Hilarities
Issue 8
| PRESSURELIFE.com 7
“QUEEN of the UNDERGROUND” The host of 89.3’s The Mysterious Black Box Adam Dodd “I dreamt of being a college radio DJ since I was 18.”
WHO CARES continued from page 7 told,“Before the fall.” I expected the trio of men to start the session when out stepped two masked men who began to jam in front of me. After a short, vigorous set, P.M.P. introduced the drummer as THCobra, the bassist as Deep, and the vocalist as Go. These must be the true masterminds behind Go Roger. radio and begun promoting and booking wildly-diverse and engaging musical acts across the city. “Northeast Ohio is known internationally as being a hotbed of experimental sound,” she insists, but it hasn’t been easy. “It’s not mainstream stuff, so it’s not on a lot of people’s radar. Due to that, there are a tremendous number of performers and composers.” But as she went on to explain, “In the experimental circles the crowds are always smaller. … There just aren’t enough venues for the sheer amount of acts that come through here.” While she still books smaller house shows, that hasn’t stopped other, larger venues from getting in on the action. At the time of our interview, Miralia was in the midst of final preparations for an ambitious show she will co-curate for the second year in a row alongside Craig Chojnicki at Spaces Art Gallery on August 6. Expeditions Spaces II is a “series of performers in different styles,” she explained. “You could have a video performer. You could have a spoken word person, movement artists, electronic sound artists, acoustic sound artists—a real variety kind of event on inter-media.” Patrons will be encouraged to travel the lengths of the gallery on their “expedition,” taking in the performers staged throughout.
There were no half-measures offered when 89.3 WCSB’s Experimental Music Director and host of the Mysterious Black Box radio show, Lisa Miralia, spoke with PressureLife. Miralia is as encyclopedic on everything aurally weird and wild as she is prophetic. Currently one of Cleveland’s most devoted disciples of the underground, she recounted her formative years as Saul would his road to Damascus. “I spent a good deal of my life having no exposure. Once I was able to, it changed While hard-pressed to narrow down her favorites, here are my life. Everything that I do now came some of the top acts Lisa recommended during our chat. from that initial first-time exposure.”
Black Box Favorites
Serving as The Land’s sonic Bodhisattva every Wednesday from 7 to 9 p.m., Miralia’s current focus is bringing other wayward dial-shifters to the light. “To be able to give that random person who’s driving around the street in their car flipping around the radio stations,” she explains with pride, “if they hit on my show they may hear something they may never have had the chance to hear before in their life.” It was clear moments into talking with Lisa Miralia that she is not one to take her presence on the airwaves for granted. “My mission [for Black Box] is to provide exposure to experimental sound artists of all varieties, to provide that exposure to the general listening audience online and on the radio.” To that end, Black Box focuses on new releases and bands coming through town on tour with an emphasis on local acts. Since 2010, Miralia has gone beyond just being another disembodied voice on the
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Horse Lords: “It’s a band I’ve been getting into for
a while now. They’re on the Northern Spy label now. They have a more accessible sound, but it’s still really creatively done."
Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman: “[Ryan Kuehn] works
with a variety of different kind of electronic devices, modular synths, other synths. He also does a radio show on WCSB that’s one of my favorite called The Record Exchange. People come down to jam at 2 o’clock in the morning because he’s just that good.”
Lionel Marcheti: "He’s a long-time known minimalist
and composer. He’s just now released an archive of his works from 1997 to 2010 or something. It’s outstanding."
Steve Lull: "His project is called Dead Corporate Eyes. He is outstanding as a composer and recording artist. He’s an unsung hero, really. Mostly studio projects, but when he does collaboration work in a live setting he brings something really special. He always enhances whatever collaboration he is in."
Jeremy Bible: “He operates out of Kent and he’s
If she wasn’t busy enough this summer, the Museum of Contemporary Art has also reached out to her, eager to get into the mix. Miralia will curate a recurring free event the Fridays of Aug. 12, 19, 26 called Loaded. “I’m very excited to be working with MoCa. It’s going to be really, really special,” she gushed, excited to finally work with a budget. The experimental shows she will be putting together will take place along the back “loading” docks in compliment to the ongoing Mark Mothersbaugh exhibition within the museum. College radio has often proven to be the last bastion against this bland, marketable status quo for decades. “It’s an alternative to mainstream media,” she professed, “and a place where people can hear things that they’re not going to be able to hear anywhere else.” Through her dedicated work with Black Box and the live shows that she curates, Lisa Miralia has cemented her legacy as the latest in a line of Cleveland underground tastemakers.
I was jonesing for a logical explanation, but before I could get a question in, the band rushed out of the room. P.M.P. escorted me from the house and handed me my notebook, a pair of headphones, and a Discman with final instructions to take the RTA back to my car. I inspected the Discman at the nearby bus stop. Inside was a burned copy of a pussEPeace demo and a note reading “Use your ears.” The bus arrived and I began a stop-and-go RTA joyride in my own personal headphone bubble, surrounded by the comfort of strangers and Cleveland. This must be the banger. There was no warning for the sudden extreme changeableness of pussEPeace. Aside from the songs with videos, I have no names for these tracks, but each shifted wildly in tone and theme. Fueled by a cryptic hip-hop mentality, the double EP is a two-part slip and slide of energy and emotion, hype-inducing electronics, and relaxing soulful melodies, all interspersed with bizarre rhythmic deviations. Rapped and sung by a fluctuating chorus of mystery voices, the lyrics capture notions of peace, anger, nostalgia, humor, and confusion—all of which I strongly felt during my bus ride back to reality. Amazingly, and likely meticulously planned, as the album ended, I reached my final stop. I got in my car and opened my notebook to review the unused list of unanswered questions when I spotted the only note entered that day, in someone else's handwriting: “Use your words.” The truth is, Go Roger's story is hidden within the music and the mystique. By their design, I couldn't tell you their influences, how they formed, or their plans for the future, but with a rare fusion of art and experience, they may just be the most ambitious band in the land.
I began work on this story, attempting to make sense of it all, when about a week later we received a manila envelope at the PressureLife office...It was full of polaroid pictures of me, my day with Go Roger, and even snaps from one of our magazine meetings held after I’d done my interview. I’m not as creeped out as I am mystified. In the end, I was as much a subject of theirs as they were of mine, and will definitely keep my eyes and ears peeled for what comes next.
started working on multi-channel sound installations. It’s conceptual work. Very high-brow, very conceptual."
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Know the Enemy could react, they knocked me out. When I came to, my eyes The cherubic-cheeked prince were pried open and I was of the Food Network eating a restrained to a chair with sandwich in all his frosted-tipped my food on a tray in front of glory is a searing reminder of me. What I was to face next where we went wrong and is would be the biggest test of enough to make anyone lose my resolve. They rolled up a their appetite. TV/VCR combo, which I was confused by because that stuff's pretty antiquated, but it was effectively ominous nonetheless. “I hope that sandwich is pretty good because we aren’t going to let you out until you finish it,” said one of the masked assailants, whose thick accent was clearly fake and who was probably just some dude from Parma.
CHOW CHOW KITCHEN VS. THE FIERI LOOP Will Chow Chow fell the Food Network’s beast!? Wilson Rivera // Illustrations: Aaron Gelston @gelston.design
S
ummer had come and with it the new summer menu at Chow Chow Kitchen (14201 Madison Ave, Lakewood). With the introduction of new dishes like the MC Pig Boi, a dope pork mac n’ cheese with a sweet BBQ, and snacks such as the Wet Fries and Smoked Salmon Deviled Eggs, the menu had something for everyone, but being a Clevelander—our affinity for handheld foods is a strong one—I went with one of the po’ boys. I could hear the growls of my stomach, ominous in tone, chanting “Dude, get the Bangers & Dukes.” The sweet BBQ with andouille sausage and pepper chow topped with pickles called to me.
I made it home and was going to get my grub on, but when I approached the door, I was blindsided. My assailants were masked and before I
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He played the tape, and the screen lit up; it was Guy Fieri eating sandwiches in a continuous loop. His mayonnaise-like body secreting oils like some strange toad demon, all the while wrapping his Spitfire Jeans logo-shaped head around a pastrami sandwich lathered in slaw and Thousand Island dressing. Finishing this sandwich would prove to be a difficult task, but also my only chance at freedom. As horrid of a sight as the loop of Guy Fieri eating was, I was still going to finish my po’ boy.
...all the while wrapping his Spitfire Jeans logo-shaped head around a pastrami sandwich lathered in slaw and Thousand Island dressing.
½ OFF
EVERY
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WINE
All win UESDAY EVENIN half p e bottles u G n rice b eginn der $99 ar ing at e 3 PM
Mustering my strength and letting the persistence of my hunger take on the demon that is the Food Network’s clown, I tore through the Bangers & Dukes, which was savory with a perfect amount of spice. My captors watched on, and even they were pained by Fieri’s slurps, which sounded like someone attempting a Solo cup-sized Jello shot. I persevered, and eviscerated the Bangers & Dukes, a creation so delicious that even the existence of Guy Fieri had been forgotten. My captors had taken noticed and asked, “On a scale of one to ten how was the sandwich?” I gulped nervously like a latin Micheal Cera, “Uhhh, a ten.” He looked surprised. After a brief discussion with his partner, they released me from my restraints while apologizing. “We are terribly sorry about that. See it’s our anniversary coming up and we wanted to give that place a try. Damn, that must’ve been a damn good sandwich. I think we went a little too far on this one.” They laughed, and needless to say I was confused, but relieved. I sighed and asked them for a ride home and they kindly obliged. It was a pretty strange day, but I’d say it was worth it because I got to eat at Chow Chow, a place where you can find a meal so delicious that you can even eat it while watching Guy Fieri—in all his toadlike, meat-sweating form—eat on a continuous loop.
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Cleveland:
The
CITY OF GOLD Adam Dodd
I’ll
With the drought over, it is time for Cleveland to accept its own greatness.
spare you the lame bar jokes you’ve heard dozens of times over at Cleveland’s expense. They are as tired as they are numerous. Following the string of successes over the past few months, those hackneyed comedic premises will need a page one rewrite now that Cleveland is the city of champions. I know this novel sense of civic pride is a strange feeling, but get used to it. The city’s on a roll with no signs of slowing down any time soon. Unless you spent the previous month busting rocks alongside Jimmy Dimora, you’re aware the Cleveland Cavaliers are the NBA World Champions. There’s been enough ink spilled chronicling their stellar season, so we’ll let Sport Illustrated rehash what you already know with a sure to-be-overpriced commemorative issue. While the Cavs victory highlighted the pinnacle of the city’s achievements in regards to sports, they were not our only champions this year.
ple. The current UFC Heavyweight Champion, Miocic was trained by the same team that works with Jessica “Evil” Eye, another local MMA fighter who we featured on our cover earlier this year. Your first glimpse of the Croatian bruiser may have been during the Cavs victory parade that he rode in with his championship belt in hand, but you’ll have another chance soon when he defends his belt right here in Cleveland at UFC 203 on September 10. With the “curse” of perennial losing behind us, we can now look forward toward a more optimistic future. One that not only holds hopes in sports achievements, but in coming together as a community. The most impressive feat during the Cavs victory parade, on par with the staggering amount of people who flocked to East 9th, was the undeniable sense of unity that underscored the entire celebration. We did not riot, we did not loot, and we did not flip cars or torch businesses. We shared love, hope and boundless jubilation. The energy was palpable. Every last one of the estimated 1.3 million on hand was bonded along with every member of the Cavs roster that bright, shining afternoon. Together, we could achieve anything. Together, we realized, we are invincible.
Together, we could achieve anything. Together, we realized, we are invincible.
Prior to LeBron, the last time Cleveland won a major championship was with the 1964 Browns. Without getting distracted by the past, it is worth noting that the ’64 Browns championship was preceded by the Cleveland Barons winning the Calder Cup within the American Hockey League that same year. A Cleveland hockey team had yet to repeat that performance until this year. In addition to setting a franchise record in points, the Lake Erie Monsters, led by the Swedish goaltender Anton Forsberg, completed a commanding sweep of the Hershey Bears to reclaim the Calder Cup. It would seem that fate favors symmetry as that Monsters win set the table for another major championship to follow suit, just as the Barons did for Jim Brown’s iteration of the Browns. With the Indians in the middle of their best season in years, on pace for a compelling postseason run without Jose Mesa, it would appear the only thing that favors company more than misery is success. For the first time in a long while, Cleveland owns more stock in the latter than the former. Just take local MMA fighter Stipe Miocic for exam-
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We no longer need to keep our achievements at arm’s length, afraid they’ll be taken away from us at any moment. We need not throttle our optimism and hopes, couching our passions against the failures of the past. We are no longer shackled to yesterdays, but free to confidently accept the better tomorrows ahead. We have exorcised whatever ailed our fair city for far too long. There is a reason we blamed “curses” for our shortcomings. It is the same reason we started calling ourselves, “Believeland”: because this is truly a magical city where anything is possible. From this day forward, Cleveland starts looking toward the future. No longer are we “the mistake by the lake,” but rather, a city of champions. A City of Gold.
CLEVEL AND'S
GAT E K E E P E R S For the sake of anonymity, some names in this story have been replaced.
“A
Riding on the shoulders of the Port of Cleveland
ttention members of Local ILA 1317, we'll have a 7:30 a.m. shape up for 35 guys.” The sound comes through the speaker of John's phone at 9:00 p.m. Sunday night as he prepares for the next day's work. John works in one of the country's oldest and most unfamiliar professions; he is a longshoreman who works in the Port of Cleveland unloading ships. His work is hard and his days are long. His gang is a tight-knit group of men who share pride in their work and their long family history of union maritime labor. Most guys who work for the International Longshoremen's Association (ILA) Local 1317 are one in a long line of longshoreman. John is no exception: his grandfather, father, and uncle all work or have worked in the port.
John’s day starts like anyone else’s day. Like you, he wakes up early. 6:30 a.m. to be exact. Unlike you, he is unsure if he will have work that day. As a day-laboring longshoreman, he must be hired to work each day. No day’s work is guaranteed and at times, he could go weeks without work. On this day, he hasn’t worked for over two weeks. John pulls up to the hiring hall a little before 7:30 a.m., hoping this will be the day his drought ends. He walks in and mingles with the 45 guys standing around sipping coffee, awaiting the day’s assignment. At 7:30 a.m. on the dot, the hiring boss strolls out of his office with list in hand. John sits, anxiously listening for his name to be called.
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TJ Lewis Casey Rearick @caseyrearickphoto The boss rattles off 10 names, 20 names, 30 names. He still has not heard his name. Doubt begins to fill his mind. The boss calls off the last five names and John’s was not one of them. The crowd disperses, en route to their day’s assignments.
John doesn’t want to leave without working. His drought has caused him to fall behind on bills, and he needs to find a way to get some work for the day. Instead of heading home like the other unfortunate workers who were not picked, he sits patiently outside the hiring boss’s office, who after a while notices John sitting outside and comes out…with an assignment card reading “Hold” (or holdsman). John’s persistence has earned him a spot in the day’s gang. John walks out of the hiring hall with more pep in his step than he’s had in weeks. His goal that day is to work so hard that his bosses take notice and remember him the next day, but he knows it will prove to be another taxing, dangerous day for him. He heads out to the docks where he stares down a behemoth of a ship carrying fourteen tons of cargo. He quickly makes his way to the top of the ship where he sees a hatch with a ladder that leads to the interior of the ship. He carefully climbs in, and when he gets to the bottom of the ship, he is met with enormous rolls of raw steel. As a holdsman, John’s job is to be inside the ship to direct the crane hooks into place and safely attach the hooks to the steel coils to
PORT SECURIT Y Workers in the Port of Cleveland are required to carry a valid Transportation Worker Identification Credential (TWIC) to be unattended on Port property. John fondly remembers going down to the Port to grill out with his family and to watch the Cleveland Air Show as a child. These days are long gone now. With heightened security across the United States, the Port of Cleveland followed suit and now requires everyone on Port property to either carry a TWIC or be escorted by a port employee. be lifted out of the boat. The crane operators in the Port of Cleveland are unable to see in the ship from their seat in the crane, so they rely on their crew to safely guide hooks into place and then pull the cargo out of the ship. According to John, the rules for working on the ship are, “Keep your head up, get out of the way, and keep your head up.” One wrong move could result in, as John put it, “Them scraping you off the ship’s floor with shovels.” Once inside the ship, John’s work begins. The crane drops the hooks in through the holding bay and he and the other holdsman work to secure the hooks to the 50,000-pound steel coils. Throughout the day, it is a regular occurrence for the holdsman to be standing 80 feet up above the hold floor, banging the hooks into place. This job is not for those with a fear of heights. With the joy of a young boy climbing his favorite 50-foot oak tree in his backyard, John scoffs at the dangerous height of the stacked cargo: “I like to work. I like running around on the steel. I'm pretty fearless in the hatch.”
One wrong move could result in, as John put it, 'Them scraping you off the ship’s floor with shovels.'
After hours of work, and one union coffee break later, the clock strikes 11:30 a.m. It’s lunchtime. The gang leaves their designated posts and head to the Harbor Inn on the West Bank of the Flats. There they take their much-needed rest and cram their faces with some of Cleveland’s favorite dive bar food. Every lunch break is the same for them: they always go to the Harbor Inn and they always go together. John speaks highly of the guys at the ILA 1317: “It’s like a brotherhood. It’s a tight-knit group of guys.” In fact, when asked what the pros of his job as a longshoreman are, one of his answers is “the guys.” The guys that make up the ILA 1317 mainly consist of blue collar Irish and Italian men in their mid-20s to late-60s, who like John, typically come from a long line of maritime laborers. There is almost a fraternity feeling to the group. The positions of power are usually transferred down the family lineage. For example, the president emeritus, John Baker, is the brother of the
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ECONOMIC IMPAC T
20,273
$3.5 billion
JOBS SUPPORTED BY MARITIME ACTIVITY
T O TA L E C O N O M I C VA L U E B Y MARITIME ACTIVITY
DIRECT J O B S : 4 ,0 8 4
Direct jobs are those that would not exist if activity at the Harbor’s cargo facilities were to cease.
$ 5 1 4 .7 M I L L I O N
in revenue to businesses supplying cargo and vessel handling services. $1.3 BILLION
INDUCED J O B S : 3 ,9 9 3
in revenue from Port dependent tenants.
Created in the Cleveland area by the purchases of goods and services by those individuals directly employed by each of the Harbor’s lines of business.
$516.8 MILLION
INDIRECT J O B S : 6 ,6 4 9
Indirect jobs are created throughout the Cleveland area as the result of purchases for goods and services by firms directly impacted by Cleveland Harbor activity. R E L AT E D U S E R S : 5,546
Related shipper/consignee (related user) jobs with firms using the cargo terminals to ship and receive cargo.
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of re-spending of direct income and local consumption. $ 1 .1 B I L L I O N
of related business revenue with Port users. COMMODITIES:
Containers, Steel Products, Sand/ Aggregates, Limestone, Coal/ Coke, Iron Ore, Salt/Mineral, Slag, Cement, Petroleum Products, Asphalt, and Other Break Bulk. Data provided by The Port of Cleveland and prepared by Martin Associates.
previous president, the late Chauncey Baker. The president and head trustee positions are held down by John Baker’s two sons. The only way into the union is to work as a day laborer for years and prove yourself to be an asset to the union chapter, and this is exactly what John is working so hard for. In the union, the pay is great and the benefits are unrivaled. With the union in the Port of Cleveland, the workers are protected and make wages that align with the high level of danger associated with their work.
His drought has caused him to fall behind, and he needs to find a way to get some work for the day.
After lunch, the guys head back out to the Port with full stomachs and a refreshed sense of energy. An hour and a half inside of a cool bar, after hours of work in the humid heat of a Cuyahoga summer day, will do that to you. As much as the guys would love to be done for the day, there is still much work to do. They get back to work unloading and moving the ship’s cargo. As the day wears on, the ship’s holds become increasingly empty. The guys work until the job is done, so some days the crew will get an extra few hours overtime, yielding additional cash for them and their families. The work day draws to a close and the gang unloads the last of the cargo. They gather their belongings and most of them then go in the same direction: a Flats favorite for over 40 years, Carney’s Top o’ the Flats Bar. With another day in the books, John hopes someone has taken notice of his work ethic so he will be hired again tomorrow. John and the rest of the longshoreman, who repeat this routine every day, are the backbone of the economic gateway to the city. In 2015, billions of dollars in goods were brought through the Port of Cleveland, which boasts a $3.5 billion annual economic value for the city of Cleveland. It’s safe to say that our city rides on the shoulders of this hard-working, tight-knit group of guys who walk with their heads held high because they, like so many other Clevelanders, are proud of who they are, what they do, and the city where they do it.
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DERELICT CLEVELAND An Inside Look at Some of CLE’s Coolest and Creepiest Abandoned Buildings Gennifer Harding-Gosnell
E
very great urban center has its flashy, modern cityscape: tall glass skyscrapers that reflect bright sunrises, digitized billboards advertising new swank nightclubs, and crystalline modern art pieces in the city’s main squares. Our Cleveland is no exception.
Long-standing structures overlooked, never torn down, properties sold and resold with good intentions and little action
But Cleveland also has a history, the remnants of which remind us of the past lives our city has led—long-standing structures overlooked, never torn down, properties sold and resold with good intentions and little action. Urban decay takes a life of its own, becoming the occasional shelter for a city’s homeless and/or drug-addicted, serving as a canvas for street artists honing their craft, and acting as an urban jungle for citified adventurers and avant-garde photographers to explore and seek inspiration.
Victoreen Building – 10101 Woodland Ave. The Victoreen Instrument Company was founded in 1928 by John Austin Victoreen, a local radio parts manufacturer. Nuclear medicine pioneers were just beginning to use X-ray technology and radiation treatment, often exposing radiologists and patients
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to severe burns and cancers. In 1925, a doctor at the Cleveland Clinic called on Victoreen to manufacture a device that would measure proper radiation doses—Victoreen’s Condenser-R meter soon became a medical industry standard practice worldwide and the Victoreen Instrument Company was born.
As Victoreen expanded, it moved to its current location, a large factory off the corner of Woodland and Woodhill Avenues. During World War II, Victoreen was commissioned to develop portable radiation devices for the Manhattan Project’s ultra-classified “Operation Peppermint,” a series of preparations made by the US in advance of storming the beaches at Normandy, believing the Germans may use nuclear materials, particularly plutonium, to fight back the invasion. Victoreen manufactured nearly fifty of these devices. Though we know now the Germans had not developed nuclear weapons, the Victoreen devices would serve their purpose in measuring radioactivity during the Manhattan Project’s initial A-bomb testing in New Mexico and later, in Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Nearly all of the instrumentation devices used in nuclear testing during the Cold War, particularly in the Marshall Islands, were created by Victoreen. The building has been empty since 1978 when the Victoreen Instrument Company left, the result of several acquisitions and mergers. Victoreen is now a part of Fluke Biomedical based in Washington, which maintains it as a “legacy” brand. The building was last sold in 2009 but still stands empty. The land behind the building is scattered with giant blocks of torn concrete and metal. Office chairs, documents, toilets, even a child’s doll sit abandoned in the rubble. Inside the building, weather and age have deteriorated the concrete steps so severely, they are nearly a hill of dust—only the brave make
it to the top floors. And don’t hang on to the hand rails, what remains of them. Graffiti artists, some with everything to say and others with nothing, have tagged the walls with bright colors and designs, heavily contrasted against the steel grey interior and concrete dust. It is their factory now.
East Cleveland Power House – 6061 Cedar Ave. On December 18, 1888, the East Cleveland Railroad opened up its new power house on the corner of Ashland Road and Cedar Avenue, allowing it to extend its Euclid Avenue line service all the way into Public Square. The massive power house took up a full block, featured a 175-foot-high smokestack and several of the largest generators and boilers ever created. Several additions to the building would make it the largest power house in the United States by the end of the 19th century. By 1912, the East Cleveland Railway Power House was operating over capacity, rolling through 60,000 tons of coal per year and nearly 50,000 cubic feet of water per day. The railway began outsourcing some of its power generation to the Illuminating Company and asked the city for money to rebuild the power house. City investigators determined it would be cheaper to continue outsourcing the power generation and the railway vacated the building in 1917. It was sold and then reused by an ice machine manufacturer, Westinghouse created electrical equipment there, and Thompson Products manufactured aircraft parts in what was the steam room. After several mergers, Thompson would become TRW, one of the largest aerospace companies in the world. In 1962, TRW purchased new property in Independence and sold the plant to a Cleveland real estate investor. It would change hands several more times—parts of the complex were still used up until 1979. The building has remained vacant ever since. Sleeping bags and bottles are strewn about in random areas throughout the bottom floor; the outer structure of the building still appears solid and many of its inner corridors remain, providing plenty of shelter for those who need it. The second addition to the building that sits along Ashland Road is missing its roof, but the concrete floor remains smooth and complete, and graffiti artists are most likely sneaking around the joint when the weather complies. The building itself is a menacing sight, set back from the road with surrounded by unkempt grass and barbed wire fences with “Keep Out” signs and giant flues in its roof that stare down all who travel Cedar. The outer structure is the most interesting sight for urban explorers and history buffs; one can imagine what it must have looked and sounded like in 1888 when it was brand new and in full operation, and no modern power plant comes close to resembling it.
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The DIY Guide for
Warner and Swasey Observatory – 2010 Hanover Dr. The old observatory on the hill in East Cleveland is the most visited abandoned site in the city. Nearly every day, amateur explorers, graffiti artists and those with just a general sense of curiosity are there climbing the stairs to the upper rooms, reading graffiti to each other, and snapping photos of the sun leaking into holes in the dome roof so they can post them on Instagram. The Warner and Swasey Company began in 1880 when two machinists from Connecticut, Worcester Reed Warner and Ambrose Swasey, moved to Cleveland to start their own business manufacturing telescopes and turret lathes for assembly machines. They became trustees of the Case Institute of Technology and had the observatory built as a donation to the university. It opened in 1920. A second dome was added for a stronger telescope in 1941. Several important astronomical studies took place here, including a study that determined the Milky Way was a spiral galaxy. By the 1950s light pollution in the city had made the observatory nearly useless for academic research and the telescopes were relocated. The observatory remained open until 1980, providing telescope viewing for the public. It has been abandoned since. Urban explorers love this building for it’s amazing views, both from inside the domes and from the observation decks around the main dome that look down onto the Metroparks and out toward the lake. The unusual circular shape of the building makes it more challenging and fun to explore. The graffiti here is intense, ranging from political statements to cartoon dragons painted on the rounded brick that lines the inner walls where the smaller dome rests. The concrete spiral stairs are in good shape, making for easy travel even for the amateur explorer or occasional vertigo-sufferer. You certainly don’t want to take a picnic basket up to the observation deck, but as far as urban decay goes, it’s pretty clean.
Clevelanders think we know Cleveland; we’ve hung out in every suburb, been to the lake a gazillion times, been to each of the three major sports stadiums, been to all the cool places. But some of those cool places aren’t going to have a Facebook page or send an evite. You have to invite yourself. Go explore.
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Cleveland Lumber
OWNERS OF CLASSIC HOMES Matt Yunker
T
If you’re going to own an old home, you’re going to need to know about Cleveland Lumber. Don’t let the name fool you. They’re far more than lumber or building supplies. Many of Cleveland Lumber’s staff are former tradesmen who live in the area and have years of experience helping contractors or homeowners. They have excellent knowledge and experience with the old homes that make up the surrounding neighborhoods. With so many old homes featuring building products from the turn of the century, it can often be hard to match the dimensions of the thick case molding around a door or the ornate sills under a window. Cleveland Lumber stocks molding that matches many styles of homes in the area, but also can order pretty much anything you’ll need or at least tell you where to find it.
Menyhart Plumbing
Do It Yourself (with a Little Help from These Guys)
he first house I bought was a Dutch Colonial in Lakewood, originally built in 1897. I was only the fifth owner of the property and one owner had the house for a little over 50 years. I bought that house in 2006, at the height of the pre-recession market when there was limited supply and significant demand due to good interest rates and favorable underwriting. Sound familiar? Fast-forward to present day and we find ourselves in a similar market, with the lowest lending rates our country has seen in decades. If you’re out looking at houses in popular areas such as Ohio City, University Circle, Tremont, Lakewood, etc., it’s likely you’re going to be presented with houses that are, shall we say, seasoned. According to the U.S. Census, there are approximately 250,000 housing units in the ZIP codes that comprise the City of Cleveland, East Cleveland, Cleveland Heights, and Lakewood. Of these, about 55 percent were built prior to 1940 and an 87 percent were built prior to 1970.
Don’t freak out. For some reason, people are intimidated by plumbing. And yes, putting in copper pipes, PVC drains, etc. requires a licensed plumber with specialized knowledge and experience. But that’s not what we’re talking about here. If you’re going to end up owning an old home, odds are you may have a kitchen or bath (or two) that still have plumbing original to the house. Whether that be the older galvanized pipes in the wall or the sink, shower, and toilet fixtures, things weren’t as standard then as they are now. And this is where Menyhart comes in. When you first walk in, it may not look like much, but you’re there for the knowledge of the gentlemen behind the counter, not the looks of the room. Similar to Cleveland Lumber, these guys have seen it all. So before you pay $1,000 to replace a sink and toilet that you can’t seem to understand, take some pictures and run down to Menyhart. Chances are they have a fitting that’ll stop that leak for you or new faucet and knobs just like the ones you have, only newer.
Old School Architectural Salvage The folks at this fun establishment specialize in collecting building materials, fixtures, and pretty much anything under the sun from old buildings and houses that, most of the time, are getting torn down. When you own an old house, in this writer’s humble opinion, there needs to be a balance of maintaining a house’s aesthetic while imparting your own look and bringing modern functionality to the home. This is where OSAS excels. You can find 100-year-old wood flooring that may have been taken out of a school or doors and windows from houses that once looked exactly like the one you’ll own. When comparing these items to ones you could opt for at a big-box store, the pricing ends up being pretty darn similar by the time you have someone install it for you. The purveyors work by appointment only, but are very accommodating. Look them up on Facebook.
...it’s likely you’re going to be presented with houses that are, shall we say, seasoned.
So if you’re in the market to buy a home and don’t have the money to pay for a fully renovated place, you may need to decide to take on a house that requires a little sprucing up. Worry not! While hardcore DIY work isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, there are lots of small things that can be handled by a homeowner that take just a little bit of knowledge and the right resource. With that in mind, here are a few resources that I have found to be invaluable as an owner of a classic house.
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DAVE HILL
LIVES WHEREVER HE DAMN WELL PLEASES
Ben Diamond
D
The Time Dave Channeled The Donald
The comedian, rocker, and Clevelandnative talks about his new book and saying yes to everything.
ave Hill is a comedian, writer, musician, and self-proclaimed pride of Cleveland, but it wasn’t always that way. Hovering around age thirty, he had reached peak inertia living with his parents in University Heights, until one day in 2003 he visited some friends in New York and never came back. As he recounts in his new book, Dave Hill Doesn’t Live Here Anymore, “You’d be surprised what you can accomplish by just setting your bag down in someone’s apartment and refusing to leave.” The book is a collection of comedic essays that explore formative childhood experiences, surviving Mexican prison, and reconnecting with his father after his mother’s death.
As crazy as it may sound, Dave Hill once worked with Donald Trump—if only for moment. The story of this occasion, “A Meeting of the Minds,” appears in Hill’s new collection of essays, Dave Hill Doesn’t Live Here Anymore. Around the height of The Apprentice, Hill was working as a freelance writer and got a gig writing ringtone slogans to compliment the hit show. Because NBC inexplicably owned the rights to the catchphrase, “You’re fired!” Hill had to find some alternatives. In the style of Trump’s signature bravado, he crafted memorable zingers like, “This is Donald Trump. I have no choice but to tell you…you’re getting a phone call.” To his surprise, Hill was invited to Trump Tower to witness The Donald himself lend his voice to the recordings. The hilarious and slightly surreal account of this encounter is certainly worth checking out for yourself.
With plenty of poignancy to go along with the laughs, Hill showcases his masterful storytelling and understated brand of humor. There’s plenty of Cleveland within the pages, a city he describes as, “the Paris of Northeast Ohio,” and “despite internet rumors...a pretty magical place.” There’s even a bit of Trump for good measure. Hill has appeared on Comedy Central’s @Midnight, TBS’s Full Frontal with Samantha Bee, and is currently writing for TruTV’s Comedy Knock Out. In addition to stand-up tour dates, he is also set to appear on the current season of The Jim Gaffigan Show.
PressureLife: Cleveland is the backdrop for many of the stories in your book, both from your childhood and later in your life. What do you love most about the city and what does it mean to you? Dave Hill: I mean, I love the people. I would say that anywhere in the world the greatest asset is always people. I like the Cleveland sense of humor. It's very dark. At least the people that I know (laughs)...It's tough to explain to people here in New York and other places that Cleveland has everything. You just have to know where to look for it, you know—my favorite Mexican restaurant is in Cleveland. Luchita's on W. 117th is still my favorite restaurant.
I have a nice career and I travel the world and I think it's because I didn't give a shit.
Circumstances have obviously changed since then, with Trump’s transition from appearing on reality TV to arriving in Cleveland for the RNC as the presumptive Republican nominee. Hill is only half kidding when he says he’ll move to London if Trump takes the White House, but having met the man, he has some insight into Trump’s nature. He suggests that Trump is really is just playing a character and really doesn’t believe what he says. He knows he’s probably wrong, but he hopes Trump will turn out to be the greatest performance artist of our generation and will say, "Oh I was just kidding!" any minute now.
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PressureLife:
for these types of experiences or do they just seem to kind of find you?
What's better Cleveland or New
York, for you?
Dave Hill: I'm a good example of coming to New
York and just seeing what happens from there. It transformed my life completely. Just for the kind of stuff I do—I wasn't even in comedy when I came here, I just sort of stumbled into it. I certainly think Cleveland's changing, especially in comedy. There are some great Cleveland guys like Mike Polk, Ramon Rivas, and Bill Squire— those guys are doing awesome stuff. I'm so bad. I mean my entire career is pretty much just based on someone going like, "Dave, do you want to do this thing?" That can happen anywhere, but here there's just more people and there's more going on. You know, without even really trying, one thing leads to another. I'm just very open to suggestion really. I think if I were living in Cleveland, there just wouldn't be the opportunities that I have here. If I really were taking this career of mine seriously, I would live in Los Angeles, but I just can't bring myself to do it.
I mean my entire career is pretty much just based on someone going like, "Dave, do you want to do this thing?"
PressureLife: Although you're a comedian and writer now, music is still a huge part of your identity. You melt faces with the best of them and your band Valley Lodge's song “Go” is the theme song for Last Week Tonight with John Oliver. What role does music currently play in your life? Dave Hill: Sort of the irony is, that's how I started. I wanted so badly to be a big rock star. My first band, Sons of Elvis, that I formed in college, we got a record deal and were on MTV and all that and had a song on the radio and it was like, "Oh my gosh, my dreams are coming true!" But that's when I was 22 and like, "Oh I want this so badly with every fiber of my being.” And now I don't think of music that way at all. It's completely just fun for me. The irony is, now my success rate is much higher. I have a blast doing it. I just love playing the guitar. I think doing writing and comedy and all that, you're just in your head and up your own ass all the time. But playing a guitar is like a physical thing. I'm not gonna pick up [a] basketball league or anything. For me, picking up guitar is like the one quantifiable thing that I do. I think I'm just such a fan of rock music. Every once in awhile, I feel like I've written a few songs where that I'm like, "Oh I think that's a good one." Now that I, on some level, don't really care at all, I make more of a living in music than I ever have by a wide margin. So it's sort of instructive, I think, in life. Maybe that’s why I'm just easybreezy about everything. I have this career in comedy—I'm not playing arenas, but I have a nice career and I travel the world and I think it's because, I didn't give a shit (laughs). I never set out to do it. Obviously, I have great respect for people that are like, “I'm doing this. I'm gonna work my ass off at it,” and I do work my ass off, but I never went into it with expectations.
PressureLife: You've got a lot of eclectic experiences in this book, like finding yourself in a Mexican prison. Do you consciously go looking
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Dave Hill: I think they find me. I think I'm just open to stuff. You know those old suitcases you'd see covered in stickers from all the places they've been? I kind of look at life like that. I just want to see and do as much shit as possible because I'm kind of just living for my own experiences. And also—on the flip side, going back to the career— until they have me do like a three-episode arc on Girls or something, you know, I have to find my own fun. So if that means going to a Mexican prison, I'd rather do that than sit around and wait for the phone to ring. The more I get older I realize all I really want to do is hang out with some people that I love and eat Chinese food and have a few beers. Everything else is just stuff that happens so I'll have some-
thing to talk about.
PressureLife: Among all the funny stories, you go through a lot of self-reflection in this book. Do you finally feel like you've found what you were destined to do? Dave Hill: I think so. I don't know we'll see (laughs). I think I'm always evolving. Hopefully I'll stay focused enough to build on the things that I'm good at. I feel like things like stand-up, I'm just figuring out how to do, just barely scratching the surface of knowing how to do it after ten years. And I feel like I'm getting better at everything. So I just want to explore the things I love doing. At the same time, things like the radio show—I only have one because somebody asked. Right now I'm doing that and finding that I really love it. I'm kind of like, "Oh man it might be really cool to just do that every day." I never would have seen myself doing that. So who knows. I'm open to whatever comes along. Someone might dangle a carrot in front of me that's really compelling. I'm sort of excited/terrified to see where I end up in the coming years. Hopefully, it'll be good things and I won't be back in Cleveland turning tricks on Lorain Ave. or something. Cleveland's fine. Just the turning tricks part. PressureLife: Are you coming back to Cleveland anytime soon? Dave Hill: I'm sure I will. I come there all the time. I'll be there this summer I'm sure. Usually I just see I have a weekend open and I just cruise back and hang out. I'm back there probably like five times a year. PressureLife: What do you hope people will take away from your book? Dave Hill: Hopefully they'll be entertained. Hopefully it'll be a literary thrill ride for them. It seems like people are enjoying it on the levels that I had intended. It's not all dick jokes—there's a couple dick jokes in there for good measure of course, but not all dick jokes. Hopefully, they'll be blown away and it will become the literary classic it's destined to be. That's my modest hope for it. Head to PressureLife.com for an extended version of this interview
RNC Routes Whether you are into it or not, the RNC is here and we have the perfect day planned for you. Pick from our list of personas and follow along.
The PressureLife Guide to the RNC Participate, hear a dissenting voice, or binge drink until it's over. Illustrations: Aaron Gelston @gelston.design
Blackout Route People who live in Cleveland who want to pretend they checked out the RNC and then immediately erase it from memory:
1. 5 O’clock Lounge 2. Harbor Inn 3. Barley House:
4. Punchbowl via water taxi
5. Johnny’s Little Bar 6. Happy Dog: for food
RNC Route Out of town visitors attending convention
for snacks
1. Rock Hall 4. Casino 2. Greenhouse: 5. Lido Lounge: until bar close
6. My Friends:
for lunch get the wings
3. Jack Casino
for food
4. Hubbard & Cowell: 7. Bobby O’s: at 5:30am to start the next day. Rinse & Repeat
Cleveland Rubberneckers Route People who live in Cleveland and are curious about the RNC but don’t want to be right in it:
1. Flying Monkey
for dinner
5. Society Lounge
Stay Away Route: We don’t need to tell you where to go. Find your favorite bar and hunker down there all week.
Dr. Jill Stein:
Green Pary 2016 Candidate Adam Dodd PressureLife talks with the Green Party’s 2016 presidential candidate, Dr. Jill Stein. Discussing her vision for America, thoughts on the race thus far, and the strengths of a third option for 2016. Visit pressurelife.com/jill2016 for the full interview.
Jill Stein on Student Loan Debt “We need to get back in the business of funding teaching and teaching staffs, and dispensing with the high-cost, high-frill budgets. … If we forgave the bankers whose waste, fraud, and abuse crashed the economy, we can certainly forgive the debt of an entire generation of young people who are basically indentured servants for life.”
…On the Presidential Debates “This is a carefully controlled audience in order to create the impression that there is support for things like austerity budgets and cutting taxes for the rich and exporting our jobs with the Trans Pacific Partnership and committing more catastrophic foreign policy. You’ve got people that are cheering for those types of things at the debates. These audiences are handpicked. … This is a theater of the absurd, and it continues.”
…On the Danger of Voting for the Lesser of Two Evils “The politics of fear have brought us basically everything that we’re afraid of. All those reasons we were told we had to bite our tongues and vote for the lesser of two evils so that we wouldn’t have these Wall Street bailouts, we wouldn’t have more off-shoring of our jobs, these attacks on our civil liberties, or the expanding wars or the climate meltdown, that’s exactly what we’ve gotten by silencing the principle of opposition.”
2. Porco Lounge 3. Shooters on the Water
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Visit pressurelife.com/jill2016 for the full interview.
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DRINKING GAME You may not have a ticket to get in, or even be able to get within eyesight of downtown during the Republican National Convention being held July 18-21, but that doesn’t mean you can’t play along at home! Combining two loves of Ohio, politics and booze, PressureLife presents, the RNC Drinking Game!
You know the rules: if they do so, then drink so.
Take a drink.. • every time Trump uses any of the following buzz words: Winning, Crooked Hillary, Shameful, They’re laughing at us, Disgraceful • every blatant Cleveland pander • every utterance of the dreaded “liberal media” • every time intellectualism or science is booed
Do a shot… • for an incoherent Sarah Palin cameo
Shotgun a beer… • if Trump’s Vice-Presidential nominee is also a quasi-celebrity • or if Trump’s VP nominee is one of the opponents he previously ridiculed • if Trump’s VP starts sputtering about building walls before slipping into a squelch of dial tone and binary code as it’s revealed that the campaign ultimately had to create a cybernetic nominee in order to find one will to run alongside Donald Trump
Chug a beer…
• “BENGHAZI!” • for every surprise “celebrity” appearance • every time Hillary’s emails are brought up • every time Dr. Ben Carson appears to have fallen asleep between his sentences
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• for a contested first ballot! • ...and 2x for every ballot contested after that! • for every surprise alternative candidate! • during the inevitable money shot confetti drop
Bong a beer… • if Trump finally admits that this has all been an elaborate Andy Kaufman-style satire the whole time • if the ghost of Ronald Reagan is invoked enough that he rises from the grave to claim the souls he is owed
Finish the bottle… once you realize we’ve let this whole “will of the people” thing get out of hand
s e i r e S l a v i t s e F r Summe
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AUG. 19-21: S.A.M. FEST DJ party at the pool Live music each night Beach Volleyball Tourny Silent Disco
WWW.THESLIPNFLY.COM Issue 8
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Cleveland, Ohio Come Celebrate With Us 25 years ago we rolled the first Fat Tire out of our garage in Fort Collins and embarked on an epic ride. Not only are we celebrating at our new Asheville Brewery, but we are bringing the party to Cleveland! Join us for great beers, good vibes, awesome people, live music and tasty eats.
TICKETS $25 AT
Fat Tire®, New Belgium® and the bicycle logo are trademarks of New Belgium Brewing Co.
NEWBELGIUM25THBDAY.EVENTBRITE.COM
NEW BELGIUM’S 25TH BIRTHDAY BASH 2215-2219 W 11TH ST, CLEVELAND, OH 44113
ENJOY great BEERS, good VIBES, awesome PEOPLE, live MUSIC, and TASTY EATS! SATURDAY, AUGUST 27 from 3:00-7:00PM. Special PERFORMANCES by WIZBANG! THEATRE. MORE FUN EVENTS and CHANCES to WIN A DETROIT BIKE at NEWBELGIUM.COM/OHIO ENJOY NEW BELGIUM RESPONSIBLY
©2016 New Belgium Brewing Co.