4 minute read
BLOG SPOT. Imposter Syndrome By Elle Wilson
That Broken Record Inside Our Heads
“Am I good enough?”
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“Why did I think I could do this in the first place?”
Imposter Syndrome, ladies and gentlemen...
At some point, it just hits us. With that said, it is important to realize that most professionals, specialists, creatives, and so on, have felt this — regardless of their position and string of accomplishments. More often than not, you may not even realize it’s hitting you already.
Then, there goes a missed opportunity because you thought you were not qualified, disciplined, clever enough. There goes that big chance for you to shine. All because you leaned on your thinking and feeling to guide you. I know this is a huge idea to let in. However, I challenge you to repeat it a few times to yourself before reading on.
Imagine humanity’s addiction to thought and feeling — your addiction to it. If I could help you reevaluate, see through and realize as a coach and mentor, it would have to be to undo this damaging, limiting addiction.
I want to go a little further into the rabbit hole with you. Why not? We’re grown-ups, aren’t we?
When thinking and feeling is our guide, we are handing over our lives, our business, and our decision-making to temporary markers. Let’s call thoughts that arise and feelings that arise markers. They mark a little moment in time. Where do they come from? What is their source?
Wow! If there was one thing that changed my life, my relationships, my world, and my business and its growth, it was my relationship to thoughts and feelings. One thing I learned early on in my life but for decades, didn’t actually fully realize the insidiousness of it all, was the destructiveness of believing in second-hand knowledge.
Thoughts and feelings are second-hand knowledge passed down to us by our parents and ancestors. Left unexamined, we find ourselves living a false life. A life that isn’t real and true. It was someone else’s life and we are simply on repeat. At this time on the planet, helping women entrepreneurs grow awesome businesses, there is no holding back on my part. I am not here to get women to do more, drown out their fears and their lack of self-worth with more doing, to the point of exhaustion.
My role is a little different and I deeply love it. I adore that I get to just speak to another level of honesty in you. One that has the ability to free human beings and allow them, as I did, to live a real life and not a life on repeat. Have you ever thought to yourself:
“I never want to live my mother’s life or my father’s?”
“I want to be different. I will be different.” Or maybe your narrative is that you do want to be like them. Either way, it isn’t your real life. Life happens in real-time and requires no one else’s presence but your own.
The Impostor Syndrome can only occur when you are pressing the repeat button of someone else’s choices. Unexamined thoughts that trigger unexamined feelings make for an unexamined life that just simply isn’t your life. Somewhere inside you, you know it and it holds you back.
Can the real you stand up, please? Of course, she can. You may ask: but how and where do I begin?
First, we all start with deep, clean honesty. Thoughts and feelings unexamined are simply a repeat button. If you have any area of your life that causes you anxiety, suffering, repetitive mental anguish, do check yourself. If you’re a workaholic, always striving, or never satisfied, do check yourself. What is the underlying cause? Maybe you are simply repeating the past.
Every microsecond is brand new only if you are prepared to examine those thoughts and feelings that are always on repeat.
Start with simply taking a stand, making a new choice. Just because a thought arises about you or anybody else for that matter, don’t believe it. Making that one decision to believe a thought that is not true will open up a Pandora’s Box of feelings — and before you know it, you are down the rabbit hole.
Simply, take a moment in time to ask yourself these questions: Is this true? What is its source? Is this the real me?
It’s no one’s fault, not even yours. We are not taught how to be with thoughts. The educational system, our parents, and the world tells us over and over to lean into thinking and feeling. They do. It’s the way of this world. Then, later when things are not working out, we listen to others who tell us to fix our thinking and our feelings. To change them. It’s all just another burrow down the same rabbit hole.
For your own peace and joy, start checking into thoughts that arise. When you become aware of them next time, just ask yourself if that thought is true. Is it a reflection of the authentic you within, the human being that is good, loving, and kind? The woman whose worthiness isn’t measured by what she does in the world but rather by what she is being... If the answer is no, move on.
Shine brightly.
