Eastlake Connections Local Lifestyle NEWS - OCT 2021 - Brought to you by Camille Bruno

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October 2021 | VOLUME 6 | ISSUE 10

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Connections

Sharp Chula Vista Medical Center’s Emergency Department Heroes dressed up as actual super heroes MusicSceneSD See Page 16

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October-November, 2021 | VOLUME 6 | ISSUE 10

VOICES FOR CHILDREN GALA RAISES $2.1 MILLION

Funds pledged at Starry Starry Night will provide advocacy to hundreds of children in San Diego County foster care.

J.D. Douglas, Voices for Children President & CEO Kelly Capen Douglas, Starry Starry Night Chairs Julie and Dale Yahnke Dorian and Bill Sailer

(Starry Starry Night, the signature event of Voices for Children (VFC), took place on Saturday, September 25, and was one of the first private events held at The Rady Shell at Jacobs Park, San Diego’s spectacular new bayside performance venue. Attendees, sponsors, and supporters contributed more than $2.1 million in gross revenue for VFC and its Court Appointed Special Advocate (CASA) program.

The funds raised at Starry Starry Night will enable VFC to provide CASA volunteers to abused, neglected, and abandoned children in foster care. Last year, VFC supported 1,020 CASAs and provided advocacy to nearly 2,100 children in San Diego County.

After enjoying cocktails and hors d’oeuvres overlooking the beautiful San Diego Bay, guests were treated to an exquisite dining experience curated by renowned chef Richard Blais. The talented musicians of the Mainly Mozart Youth Orchestra accompanied dinner and were later joined by the San Diego Children’s Choir for a special joint performance of “You Matter To Me” from the Broadway musical “Waitress.”

It was the choir’s first in-person performance since the start of the pandemic.

Emceed by Marcella Lee, anchor and reported at CBS 8 and the CW San Diego, the inspiring program began by reflecting on VFC’s impact over the last 40 years and recognizing the 2021 CASA of the Year, Barbara Winicki, who has advocated for 12 children in foster care during her 11 years as a CASA volunteer. After a rousing live auction led by auctioneer Clint Bell, attendees watched the premiere of “Always in My Life,” a video highlighting the story of siblings Christopher and Vanessa who were separated in foster care and were able to maintain their bond thanks to their dedicated CASA. During the Fund-A-CASA paddle raise, guests made pledges from $100 up to $100,000 to recruit, train, and support new CASA volunteers. The evening ended with everyone on their feet dancing to the high-energy, award-winning Liquid Blue Party Band.

EVENT SPONSORS: Visionary Sponsor: Dale & Julie Yahnke;

Liz and Tony Salant

Debbie and Oliver Goellnitz, Dan Sullivan, Rick and Susan Howe

Presenting Sponsors: Annette & Daniel Bradbury and Maryanne & Harley K. Sefton; Impact Sponsors: Capstone Advisors, Farrell Family Foundation, George Lai, Maravai LifeSciences, MG Properties Group, Qualcomm, Sempra, Darlene Marcos Shiley, and Katie & Dan Sullivan; Advocate Sponsors: Finch, Thornton, Baird LLP, Jennifer Adams Home, KPBS, Silvergate Bank, the Schievelbein Foundation, and the San Diego Padres; Hope Sponsors: AlphaCore Wealth Advisory, Genentech, Molly’s Angels Foundation, Perkins Coie, and the Pulido/Walker Foundation; Starry Sponsors: California Bank & Trust, City National Bank, Cresa, Higgs Fletcher Mack, Hughes Marino, Jones Day, JP Morgan Chase & Co., Meyers Nave, Moss Adams, Paul, Plevin, Sullivan & Connaughton, LLP, PBO Advisory Group, Procopio, Cameron Kay & Kathleen Rains, and UPS. Visit www.voicesforchildrenssn.org to view the full list of sponsors and underwriters.

STARRY STARRY NIGHT HONORARY COMMITTEE: Julie & Dale Yahnke (event chairs), Hon. Thomas Ashworth III (Ret.) & Kathryn F. Ashworth Esq., Mary & Rolf Benirschke, David Bialis, Alison & Ryan Blair, Rochelle & Bill Bold, Annette & Daniel Bradbury, Patty & Marc Brutten, Joan & Dick Capen, Brittany & Andy Christopher, Patty Cohen, Nancy & David Doyle, Gina & Ray Ellis, Lisette & Mick Farrell, Cambra & Randy Finch, AnneElise & Andy Goetz, Jenny & Jason Hochberg,

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Kara Sell and Joshua Kim

Starry Starry Night benefiting Voices for Children at the Rady Shell at Jacobs Park

Susan & Rick Howe, Hon. Susan D. Huguenor (Ret.) & Thomas Huguenor, Yolanda & Jimmy Janacek, Nettie & Tom Keck, Melissa & Erbin Keith, Zoe & Eric Kleinbub, George Lai, Sharon Lawrence & Darin Boles, Marina Marrelli & Bob Anslow, Dr. Alice Mo & Ted Tchang, Andrea & Greg Moser, Katie & Michael Nicoletti, Jen & Tim O’Connell, Nancy & Mike Pfeiffer, Lee & Stuart Posnock, Michele & Bob Rogers, Dorian & Bill Sailer, Sheryl & Bob Scarano, Maryanne & Harley Sefton, Jill Skrezyna & Alex Sun, Katie & Dan Sullivan, Karen & Mike Stone, Lise Wilson & Steven Strauss, Kathliene & Jon Sundt, Haeyoung Tang, Lori & Bill Walton, Jen & Mark Wernig, Lany & Alex Zikakis ABOUT VOICES FOR CHILDREN Founded in 1980, Voices for Children (VFC) transforms the lives of @LocalUmbrellaMedia

abused, neglected, and abandoned children in foster care in San Diego and Riverside Counties by providing them with trained, volunteer Court Appointed Special Advocates (CASAs). CASA volunteers advocate for a foster child or sibling group in Court, school, and in the community to ensure their needs are met. VFC believes that every child deserves a safe and permanent home, striving to provide a CASA volunteer to every child in the foster care system who needs one. Last year, VFC CASAs and staff advocated on behalf of nearly 2,600 children in foster care across San Diego and Riverside Counties.

For more information, visit www. speakupnow.org.

Space for this announcement provided by Aymerick Modern Furniture www.AymerickModern.com Local Umbrella Media is proud to promote Voices for Children

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VOLUME 6 | ISSUE 10 | October-November, 2021

HONORING OUR REGION’S

HEROES Public Safety Awards

Celebrate 14 Heroic Stories Join us for breakfast, (tickets only $45) and thank the front-line responders that have supported our businesses and communities with their heroic efforts.

Everyone is welcome to hear the chilling and amazing stories that have put these men and women in the spotlight.

Can’t attend? Donate $45 so a front line responder can attend and they will be given your name as the one that supported their seat. Upon registering, let us know in the comment box if you are donating your seat to a first responder.

Honoring Andrew Watkins CAL FIRE / San Diego County

Luis Rudisell & Marla Kingkade SD County District Attorney’s Office

Ed Ramirez Carlsbad Police Department

Randy Chase SD County Sheriff’s Department

Michael Keeley County of SD Probation Department

Juvenal Hernandez-Garcia San Diego Fire-Rescue

Mike Nelson Escondido Police Department

SD Human Trafficking Task Force

Terrence Mycka & Dennis Vollrath FBI Andy Gularte Oceanside Police Department

Adrian Meza San Diego Police Department Jacob James and Benjamin Cole SD Sheriff’s Department (Lakeside) Renee Santiago San Pasqual Tribe - Valley View Casino & Hotel

Brian Boulware Rincon Fire Department

When

November 4, 2021 | 7:30 AM - 9:00 AM

Where

San Diego Zoo Safari Park

Tickets $45 | Includes buffet breakfast and admission into the Safari Park for the day

RSVP

SDBusinessChamber.com/Events

Thank You To Our Partners

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October-November, 2021 | VOLUME 6 | ISSUE 10

STUNNING MID-CENTURY MODERN RIGHT HERE? MAIS OUI!

By Carol Holland Lifshitz

Only with the help of a humble Frenchman could one find beautiful, authentic, foreign, vintage pieces of furniture right in San Diego County. Through hard work and determination, he’s been cleaning up the furniture market with clean-lined, mid-century modern

design.

Well-deserved success has come to an unlikely San Diego businessman. Aymerick Rondeau, a French immigrant who came to America in search of a dream, has turned the mid-century modern game on its side. His extraordinary eye for quality, unparalleled professional ethic, great restoration skills, and devotion to cusA beautiful high back reclining chair and its ottoman designed by Jacob Madsen and Acton Schubell for Bovenkamp.

tomers has earned him a unique place in this streamlined possessions market. Wise consumers are flocking to him with orders they’re confident only he can fulfill.

People generally refer to him simply as Aymerick. Who is this one-moniker local celebrity? Now known far and wide, his name is synonymous with excellence. His newfound recognition stems from a combination of two things. The first is how he got to where he is today: through sweat and perseverance, starting literally from the ground up. The second is the star-worthy product he delivers, namely the biggest and best authentic, Scandinavian mid-century modern furniture inventory in all of San Diego! Now just 44 years old, his tale began decades ago.

As a young man, Aymerick sought jobs in the hospitality industry during tourist seasons. The globe-trotting French native spent time first in Paris, then St. Martin, Miami, Hawaii and San Francisco. It was during his second stay in San Francisco from 2004 to 2010 that the previously-itinerant man chose to stay put and expand his interest in period piece possessions.

Always a lover of 1960’s automobiles, Aymerick became infatuated with interior design aesthetics from that period around the time his daughter was born in 2007. He started to collect and restore pieces, squeezing all of them into the small apartment he lived in with his family. Aymerick began adding signature specimens that lent "some sense of history to my home," he says. "A lot of other options seemed dull. My casual fascination with 1950’s-1960’s flair grew into a full-fledged hobby.” He did this while still formally pursuing a career as a waiter, bartender, and maître d’ in fine dining restaurants.

With little money, he began his quest for “The American Dream,” He would define this aspiration as being able to solely manage an enduring business that he cherished, combined

Aymerick of AYMERICK MODERN

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VOLUME 6 | ISSUE 10 | October-November, 2021

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A sculptural credenza in teak with a sled base style, designer/manufacturer unknown.

with the ability to sustain a nice lifestyle for his family through his efforts. After five years in San Francisco, he moved his kin from the city to a place with a more family-friendly lifestyle in North County San Diego.

It was not until around 2014, after relocating to San Diego, that he took his interest to the next level, and began pursuing furniture acquisition and sale as a side hustle. That year, he registered the business, called AYMERICK MODERN, with the San Marcos Chamber of Commerce, and just twenty-four months later, he began importing from overseas.

In San Marcos, Aymerick continued to toil as a waiter for several more years at the tony Mille Fleurs, Mister A’s and Pamplemousse Grille. He gradually reduced his workload as he turned his attention to his budding business.

As public desire quickly became apparent, Aymerick jumped into the venture fulltime in early 2019.

With a personal love for this aesthetic, and a trust that consumers would share his predilection, Aymerick found himself at the cusp of an exploding business. It includes the acquisition, full refinishing, and sale of vintage Danish and British mid-century modern furnishings, properly imported from Europe, to an ever-growing local and nationwide clientele.

Aymerick operates from a 6,000-square foot showroom at 3208 La Mirada Drive in San Marcos. The space is set in an industrial area near a wholesale florist, microbrewery, and open air space (Sunset Park.) Today, it resembles a museum as much as it does a warehouse.

He describes his facility as a “Mad Men” set.

That beloved TV series spurred even greater demand in all things from the 1960’s, including vehicles, home goods and style of dress. The desire has endured long since the program ended in 2015. Aymerick, who loves the aesthetics of this period, can be seen cruising around town in either his 1964 Pontiac sedan or his 1962 Ford van when he’s out making a local delivery.

A special bench in rosewood perfect for your entryway.

What is it about this era of furniture that has fascinated Aymerick, as well as his rapidly growing clientele? Everything from that chapter of history, which lasted roughly from the mid-1930’s to mid-1960’s, has clean lines and minimal ornamentation. It is classic, graphic, understated and uncluttered. Sleek, geometric lines are juxtaposed with graceful, organic shapes.

Form follows function in this genre. Smaller scale, portability, maximum storage and comfort are key. Many Americans still favor these timeless attributes in their homes, which explains much of this style’s enduring popularity today.

Aymerick features in his shop many iconic architects/designers of the Scandinavian modern golden age, such as Hans Wegner, Ib Kofod

Everyone’s favorite; a versatile 1960’s daybed that would compliment any interior.

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The beautiful “Mingo” chair and its ottoman designed by Yngve Ekstrom in Sweden.

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Larsen, Arne Jacobsen, ArneVodder, Omann Jun, Johnannes Andersen, Folke Ohlsson, Eero Saarinen, and Niels Moller, to mention a few, and gladly accepts requests to seek out rare pieces from them that he may not already possess in his warehouse.

The term “mid-century modern” was first coined in 1984 by art historian Cara Greenberg. Le Corbusier and Bauhaus leaders were among its first supporters. It was based upon the ideals of simplicity, elegance, and functionality, and developed to be affordable to the average citizen. The movement prized the idea that good design should be accessible to all…a tangible, great equalizer for humanity.

The ultimate idea was that it could better the lives of all the world’s inhabitants, not just the wealthy.

Aymerick today scours the world for classic, genuine 1960’s Scandinavian looks, importing the best from Denmark, Sweden, Norway and England. Categories including seating, tables, storage units, and larger collections. He seeks out one-of-a-kind exclusives that have documented history and provenance. One example is the recently-sold, same-model rocking chair that once graced Frank Sinatra's 1960’s Palm Springs home. That seat was seen in an iconic Life Magazine story on the Rat Pack crooner.

He used to travel to Europe three times a year, filling industrial-sized containers with Danish delights. Trips to Scandinavia and England included meetings with multiple antique dealers/suppliers. But since 2020, with the cessation of international travel due to the ADVERTISE | Press@LocalUmbrella.com

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October-November, 2021 | VOLUME 6 | ISSUE 10 “Period Correct” delivery of classic furniture with Aymerick 1962 Ford Econiline van.

Scandinavian Craftsmanship at its best with this sculptural and versatile teak dresser/vanity.

A rare set of “Model 310” chairs in teak and leather by Erik Buck for Christiansen Mobelfabrik

Covid pandemic, he needed to rethink the way he did things in order to stay afloat. Currently, most purchases are done virtually and based on photos exchanged through emails, Instagram, WhatsApp, and the like. Aymerick looks forward to again circling the globe in search of treasures when world health concerns eventually subside.

To quote Aymerick, "My business is me, myself and I." He personally handles every stage of his passion-fueled operation including, but not limited to, the selection of the furniture, its importation, refinishing, documentation, sale and shipping. I’m so grateful that I am the master of my own fate. This is a very personal, one-on-one business and it is precious to me. It is truly my passion.”

A modest and unassuming man, he neglects to mention that his prices are also quite reasonable when compared with the offerings of his nationwide competition. This is due to the fact that he chose not to opt for a classic brick and mortar modus operandi with its regular hours, but instead operates from a warehouse that doubles as a showroom.

Since 2014, Aymerick has been contracting all of his upholstered projects to highly-skilled Jose Velasquez from JVC Upholstery in Escondido. Jose V. has worked closely with him on hundreds of seating pieces. They have been given new life by maintaining the essence and integrity of their original designs while incorporating brand new period-correct upholstery.

Much more is involved in the enterprise’s success than what goes on within the warehouse. Handling and shipping are among many important considerations when it comes to older specimens. Aymerick has developed a nationwide network of reliable white glove carriers to ensure the safe delivery of furniture.

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For local clients, he sometimes delivers the goods himself.

Who are his customers? Recent ones have included celebrities like actor Val Kilmer. He bought a classic 1960’s RCA stereo console during the fall 2015 Modernism Week at Palm Springs, where Aymerick was exhibiting. It was a present for Kilmer’s daughter. Another recent celebrity fan is Finnish skateboard star Lizzie Armanto, currently a SoCal resident, who bought a true 1962 item from his collection. Aymerick, himself a longtime skateboarding enthusiast, was delighted to engage in commerce and conversation with the star who shared much in common.

Ordinary folks are just as smitten with his extraordinary offerings. Appropriately, his warehouse is filled with top-level products priced for those with non-superstar budgets to enjoy.

Clients come from near and far. They include: young millennials interested in setting up first homes with a cool look; baby boomers, who want to re-visit their earlier lives; investors who recognize value; and all categories in between.

Aymerick pursues a further vision that comes from a place deep in his soul. He believes in saving the planet for his children and future generations. His vintage business is at its core eco-friendly: he offers consumers used pieces of quality-made crafted furniture which have

been given new life as an alternative to newly bought, mass produced, and poorly made pieces that do not stand the test of time.

Another wise reason to invest in collectable vintage pieces with character is that they’ll not only last for a lifetime but also hold their value in the future…in contrast to some of today’s contemporary offerings. This is similar to the lure that well-maintained classic cars have for their devoted collectors.

An additional consideration is the strong international demand that is colliding with a shrinking supply from Europe. This is a solid reason to make purchases now before all these Scandinavian beauties are forever gone from the market.

While Aymerick spends a lot of time in his showroom, visits are through appointment only so he can give each customer the attention they deserve. He also conducts a lot of business over the Internet. By foot or by web, people come in search of hard-to-find and unique pieces. Many are referred to him by extremely satisfied buyers. Others find Aymerick Modern by searching online.

"If you shop with me," Aymerick says, "it is almost like a treasure hunt. You have to find me.” His facility is not downtown, or in a San Diego neighborhood that has miles of competing stores. One won’t bump into him by chance; one must call, which requires curiosity and desire.

Aymerick can be contacted online at http:// www.aymerickmodern.com or by telephone at (760) 509-5974. When you call, do mention this article. You’ll be glad you reached out to him.

ABSOLUMENT!

AYMERICK MODERN Shop and Warehouse

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October-November, 2021 | VOLUME 6 | ISSUE 10

CANNABIS USE DOES NOT INCREASE FOLLOWING LEGALIZATION

By Michael Patterson, NSA, OTR/L, substance.

As of September 2021, 18 CEAS states and the District of CoLegal Cannabis, also known lumbia have legalized recreas Adult Use or Recreational ational cannabis use for adults Cannabis, for people over 21 over 21. In this year alone, four years old has become legal for states, New York, New Mexico, more Americans than ever Virginia and Connecticut have before. However, a recent made cannabis fully legal. article published the Journal of the American Medical Analysis Association found there was This study and countless othno increase in cannabis use ers dispel the “gateway drug” among the general population theory by prohibitionists and or among previous users after politicians who say all children their states legalized cannabis. will become addicted to canResearchers surveyed over nabis when legalized (and our 830,000 Americans over age 12 society will crumble because on their reported cannabis use, everyone will be stoned). Over both before and after recre90% of the US population want cannabis legalized in some ational cannabis was passed in fashion, and in this period in their state. The study looked at our history of radical differencdata between 2008 and 2017.

Washington state and Colora- es of opinion, 90% of consensus on any issue is extremely prodo became the first states to legalize recreational marijuana in found. The people who have 2012, after which marijuana use fought for the status quo and saw a slight increase among His- are scared of change have lost. panic and white participants, Acceptance of cannabis and the researchers said. The study also rise in plant-based medicine are here to stay. Cannabis will help found there were no changes humanity evolve into a more in cannabis use or cannabis empathetic, caring, and healing use disorder for individuals society for ourselves and each between the ages of 12 and 20 other. in the states that legalized the LOCAL NEWS | LocalUmbrellaNews.com

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VOLUME 6 | ISSUE 10 | October-November, 2021

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NOTE FROM TONI (OCTOBER 2021) A couple of weeks ago I was waiting on the tarmac at the former Mather Air Force Base in Sacramento to welcome President Biden, who was on his way to tour some of the areas affected by our state’s latest series of devastating wildfires.

While I was waiting, I couldn’t help also thinking of other fires and other Presidential visits, including when President Bush came to San Diego County, back when we experienced some of the earliest of what have now become alarmingly commonplace disasters.

What made this visit different for me was the full sense of partnership I felt coming from the Biden Administration—not just in terms of disaster declarations and relief we need for recovery, but also in terms of leadership on climate change, which we know is causing wildfires to burn more often and longer in a drier California.

The $1.5 billion in new funding for wildfire prevention and $5 billion for drought relief we just invested were two of the high points from the historic 2021 legislative session my colleagues and I adjourned on September 10th.

I am also pleased that we made the largest investment in the state’s history— some $3.7 billion dollars—to combat sea level rise, reduce pollution in our urban areas, and make our communities across the state more resilient. My legislation, SB 1, a historic bill to tackle Sea Level Rise, was recently signed into law by the Governor.

When you look at the challenges facing California, it’s clear that with our approach to wildfires and climate change, partnership has to be part of any solution. For instance, now that Governor Newsom

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has signed the bulk of the Senate’s Housing Package, including my own SB 9 to allow additional housing units, I’m looking forward to a partnership that ensures these bills are implemented as intended—with all protections and safeguards in place—along with all the opportunities the bills provide for more California families. I have to say it was very gracious during his visit for President Biden to congratulate California on enacting SB 9, and, by sharing his planning and zoning experiences as a young public servant, it’s clear he knows the struggle!

When I look back at how this year started, and the obstacles to be overcome, I am enormously proud of what my Senate colleagues, the Assembly and Governor did, helping small businesses, tenants, and landlords, providing record funding for schools, homes, and health care, and creating new work opportunities through child care and hiring credits.

At the end of my first legislative session in 2011, during the Great Recession, I am reminded of so many of the difficult cuts and hard choices we had to make then. Thanks to 10 years of responsible budgeting by Democratic legislators and governors, and with the recovery funds our federal partners have allocated so far, California had a once in a generation chance to make transformational change, and we seized that chance.

There’s so much going on. We have to get this pandemic behind us. Community safety and police accountability are still challenges in our communities.

And there are others. The October sky is still smoky.

But if we can pull it together and work together, our is future bright.

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October-November, 2021 | VOLUME 6 | ISSUE 10

LOCAL CHEF PUTS CANNABIS SPIN ON CULINARY SOIREES high-end investors who might want a cannabis cheese course or dessert as part of their dining experience. And there are those who want family-style dinners with every course infused with cannabis. I get everything from older couples and professional business people to everyday locals.

Umbrella Media: What are some of your favorite cannabis-infused recipes?

Felmley: I have a horrible sweet tooth, so my favorite is a burnt-orange caramel sauce infused with hashish. I serve it over ice cream or bread pudding and for making caramel candy.

With my Jewish background, I also love gravlax served with goat cheese and potato pancakes.

The cannabis actually goes into the salmon as it’s absorbed into the fat of the fish during the curing process.

Umbrella Media: Of the

Jennifer Felmely of Chef Jenn Cook

By Frank Sabatini Jr.

Armed with a Bachelor of Science degree in Culinary Arts and another in Culinary Nutrition, the one cooking trick Jennifer Felmley didn’t learn at Johnson & Wales University was how to infuse cannabis into her dishes.

The North Park-based chef and cookbook author runs a successful business called Chef Jenn Cooks, which offers “cannabis experiences.” She also holds cooking classes (in person and virtual) and provides private chef services to clients all over San Diego County, from Rancho Santa Fe and Coronado to Oceanside and San Ysidro.

Additionally, her fanfare extends well beyond our region because of live cooking sessions she conducts for free at 4 p.m. every Sunday on Instagram under the name @chefjenncooks.

Felmley has mastered the art of combining cannabis and culinary all on her own ever since marijuana and its slew of extracted products became legal for recreational use in California in 2018. As a result, she landed a contestant spot earlier this year on Food Network’s “Chopped 420” series, which is the cannabis version of the long-running show, Chopped. She didn’t win, but gained valuable national exposure as an authority on the

cannabis meal parties you’ve catered, what is the average number of attendees?

Felmley: My maximum number is 20 people. I generally recommend parties of eight because it means you’ll have enough people to socialize and a few who like to sit there silently and observe. It gives you a good combination of people.

Umbrella Media: How do you gauge the level of high that each dish or drink offers?

Felmley: Every course is dosed. And I offer suggested dosages. If people follow my suggested doses, from beginning to dessert, they get a total of 10 milligrams of THC. Every infused component of the meal is clearly labeled. And guests have the option to add cannabis or not to their meal since all of the cannabis infusions are served on the side. In a roast chicken dinner, for example, there’s infused

Photos courtesy of Chef Jenn Cooks

subject.

We caught up with Felmley between cooking and teaching gigs to learn more about how she utilizes cannabis into her “elevated” dinners.

Umbrella Media: When did you first start cooking with cannabis?

Felmley: As a Southern California native—and my mother probably doesn’t want to hear this—it was when I was in my teens. I remember making my first pot brownies when I was around 14 or 15 years old. I started cooking with cannabis professionally when it became medically legal in California, and then legal recreationally.

I remember after it became medically legal, people began looking for trusted sources on where they could get cannabis edibles. The demand has since shifted from making cannabis edibles into creating culinary cannabis experiences and private dinners.

Umbrella Media: Is there a specific demographic that hires you for the ‘cannabis experiences?’

Felmley: No. Shaggy isn’t the only person smoking weed anymore.. I’ve had clients who are in their late 70s and probably haven’t used cannabis since the 1970s. On the other side of the spectrum are groups of

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Burnt-orange caramel sauce applied to dessert

Felmley’s cannabis Jell-O brains made recently for an Instagram cooking session

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VOLUME 6 | ISSUE 10 | October-November, 2021

gravy and non-infused gravy on the table.

Umbrella Media: What are some of the methods you use for infusing food and drinks with cannabis?

Felmley: I use everything, from pre-bought cannabis sugar or sweeteners called “shoogies,” to making my own cannabis-infused oils and butters. I don’t put cannabis leaves directly into foods because it’s not appealing in texture or flavor. But I do use it sometimes to create domes of smoke with a smoke gun, which looks like a cross between a bong and a gun.

Umbrella Media: What strains or types of cannabis do typically use?

Felmley: I vary them throughout the meal. I like to start with a CBD mocktail, then transition to an Indica-dominant strain, and then move into a hybrid. I’ll finish off with a Sevita strain for something a little more upbeat. But all of that can be customized to the customer’s preference.

Umbrella Media: Compared to non-cannabis dinner parties, do you find these meal gatherings are more fun and interesting to witness once your food and beverages are consumed?

Felmley: Clients who are willing to explore cannabis dinner parties are fun and enjoyable people who have fun and enjoyable parties—and who I wouldn’t mind hanging out with afterwards.

Felmley can be reached via her web site at www.chefjenncooks. com

Jennifer Felmley of Chef Jenn Cooks

Infused gravlax

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An infused mocktail to start off dinner

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October-November, 2021 | VOLUME 6 | ISSUE 10

RIBBON-CUTTING CEREMONY HELD FOR CAMP BASHOR

Camp Bashor Archery Range

Camp Bashor Amphitheater

By Anthony Nassif

A ribbon-cutting and dedication ceremony was held Saturday, September 25th for Camp Bashor at Otay Lakes County Park. Built as a partnership between the San Diego-Imperial Council of the Boy Scouts of America (BSA) and the County of San Diego Department of Parks and Recreation (DPR), this is the first BSA facility in southern San Diego County. While it is a BSA facility, Camp Bashor will also welcome members of the general public including youth groups, families, and other organizations.

The archery range and amphitheater are open and ready to go. A zipline is awaiting final safety checks and is expected to be operational by the end of the year. A low ropes challenge course is under construction. There will also be an activities field for camporee-style competitions, such as knot tying, first aid, and a compass course. Two shipping containers were donated to store the program equipment. The park has many existing trails for hiking, mountain-biking, and horse-riding, which will eventually connect to an 85-mile trail system.

The campground will be capable of hosting “groups as large as 400 campers,” says Greg Cox, former County Supervisor and former Chula Vista mayor. The graded tent sites will have picnic tables and nearby potable water. The flag plazas, as well as the state-of-theart restroom and shower facilities, have been completed.

According to DPR Director Brian Albright, Camp Bashor will bring more people and more attention to Otay Lakes County Park. He explained that online reservations will be maintained by the San Diego-Imperial Council of BSA and will be accessible through both the sdicbsa.org as well as the sdparks.org websites.

During the ceremony, former Supervisor Cox was credited as the driving force behind this project, bringing together the DPR, the BSA, the City of Chula Vista, and major donors to turn an underutilized portion of Otay Lakes County Park into a facility that can be enjoyed year-round

by Scouts and the general public alike. The first named trail at Camp Bashor was named the

Camp Bashor Tent Site

Greg Cox Trail in honor of his efforts to bring this project to fruition. Longtime San Diego philanthropists Diane Bashor and David Malcolm were recognized for their donations that got this project off the ground.

A $250,000 matching grant from the national BSA foundation has been offered for the purpose of hosting camping opportunities called Family Adventure Days.

“We know that there’s a lot of people in south County that maybe can’t afford tents and sleeping bags, so as part of this program, they will be given sleeping bags and tents,” stated Cox. He added that the Family Adventure Days program will hopefully start new family traditions for those who

Camp Bashor Flag Plaza

have never camped before. To help Camp Bashor reach its fundraising goal to unlock the matching grant, Albright said donations can be made through the sdparks.org website or the San Diego County Parks Society.

When asked who will benefit from this new facility, Mayor Mary Salas said, “I think that this place is so unique and so beautiful that it will be a place of enjoyment not only for families and for Scouts, but for anybody else that enjoys the outdoors.” Several young members of Scouts BSA were in attendance at Saturday’s ceremony.

Camila C., a Tiger Cub from Cub Scout Pack 863 in Chula Vista, is looking forward to camping at Camp Bashor because she “likes

sleeping in a tent.” David W., a Webelos member of Cub Scout Pack 624 in Poway, likes the campsite due to its “very good view.”

Mrs. Bashor donated the lead gift of $1 million to get the project off the ground. In their younger years, she was a Girl Scout and her late husband, Jim Bashor, was a Boy Scout. The Bashors have been philanthropic supporters of the San Diego community for decades. In her speech just before cutting the ribbon, Diane Bashor exclaimed, “may the kids win on!”

About the author: Anthony Nassif is an Eagle Scout and member of Troop 2001 in Chula Vista. He is a junior at Eastlake High School and is writing as a guest writer.

Camp Bashor Ribbon-Cutting Ceremony

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VOLUME 6 | ISSUE 10 | October-November, 2021 VOLUME 6 | ISSUE 4 | April, 2021

2021 SOUTH BAY PUMPKIN SMASH GAME OF THROWS

13 15

youth, states Ashley Gonzalez, President of the Friends of Chula Vista Parks & Recreation.”

“That’s why we’ve created a public spectacle where science meets messy fun,” adds local entrepreneur and publisher, Michael Monaco, the event’s creator and principal organizer. “It’s a free hometown Renaissance we have business accountscompeand do titionevents for the entire community. large that we never would have imagined. to be a smashing good It’s going What advice do you have for others time”. who want to startistheir own business?

“Creativity Imagination in Listen to those you trust [science, for Action - This is STEAM sure.

The advice from our parents technology, engineering, art was to think of the customer and and math] at its best. No batterwork backwards from there. There iesnobody required & important no programming is more than necessary.

Participants to the customer and meetingget their use hand tools on a hands-on expectations and reacting to their project to design and construct needs.

Don’t compromise or take a mechanical device to smash shortcuts in trying to please them, with accuracy.

The apumpkins happy customer creates exponential good will and business. are possibilities for creativity How has the Eastlake supendless!” says Dr. community Jesus L. Ulloaported you?

Higuera, Previous STEAM ProEastlake has shaped and who newly we are grams Coordinator throughout our lives.

Our friends, appointed Launch Virtual Acadfamilies, teachers and other local emy Principal for SUHSD. All businesses in the community have this eventand will proceeds been both from our inspiration our help fund STEAM programs in biggest cheerleaders. We wouldn’t the South Bay. trade our Eastlake roots for anyThe and opening thing, hope ceremony we can paybegins that at 9 a.m. when the Chula Vista Fire forward as well.

Department will drop activity the largest What is your favorite to do for fun in Eastlake? pumpkin the land from the top both have hobbies that ofWe a 100-foot firemany engine ladder Eastlake is perfect for, especially to the cheers of the assembled enjoying the outdoors.

However, throng. Look for elected offinothing is more enjoyable for us cials and high-ranking members than to spend some down time from local school districts to be enjoying time with friends at the amongst the attendees. many unique and locally based For information about theand restaurants like Novo, Savoie event and the required COVID Karinas at the mall. You have to protocols, please contact Michael support your community’s busiMonaco at (619)in 840-7722.

For nesses, especially these challenginformation about SUHSD’s ing times.

How can people contact order oneDr. forJesus you and participation, L. what is the price range?

Ulloa-Higuera at (619) 600-3340 can order from@ushttp://bit. on orPeople go to event website our website (www.cheesemecharly/sbps-gameofthrows cuterie.com), emailAnnounceus at cheeseSpecial COVID mecharcuterie@gmail.com or find ment us on instagram (@cheesemecharUnion High School Sweetwater cuterie) to place an order with us.

District COVID Requirements Our price range starts at $25 and willget be up strictly enforced.

Allwhen team can to a few hundred members, family it comes to spectators, booking anand event! members must a valid vacThank you for present sharing your story cination card or have taken a test with our readers.

We are so proud to seeayour business your test grow resultand within with negative entrepreneurial dreams develop!

72 hours. No exceptions.

I’M LOCAL! with LAUREN LAWLESS AND CLARISSA SWIKARD

CO-OWNERS AND FOUNDERS OF CHEESE ME CHARCUTERIE & MORE Profiles of Local People by Local Umbrella Media Tell us a little bit about yourselves please.

We both grew up in the Eastlake/ Rolling Hills Ranch area. We met in elementary school and have been together attending the same schools ever since. We’re both proud Eastlake High alumni and are finishing up our final college days at SDSU. Eastlake is an amazing family friendly and supportive community which has definitely shaped our lives.

How did you get this idea to start a business? When did it start?

We truly have always been interested in creative activities and planning parties and get togethers with our friends. This business grew out of those passions. During the pandemic shut down last year, we had lots of time to think about business ideas that would cater to people being in lockdown. We did some boards for friends and family for fun, and then it dawned on us there was a market for charcuterie and cheese boards that people could enjoy while locked down at home.

How did the quarantine affect you?

Everyone has been touched by the COVID pandemic in some shape or form, and we’ve had friends and family go through painful times. It’s been a tough year for sure, but at same time, it gave us the inspiration and idea to start this business, so that’s one positive we take from the unfortunate situation we all faced in 2020.

What kinds of skills did you have to develop to be successful?

I think early on, the creative side came naturally to us both, but we needed to learn how to actually run and manage a business. Part On Saturday morning, Novemof that is understanding that you ber 6th, an enthusiastic crowd of onlookers will cheer on teams of students from grades 3rd through 12th as they lay siege to Eastlake Middle School in Chula Vista for the Fifth Annual South Bay Pumpkin Smash - Game of Throws com-

need to learn from your missteps and realizing that being owners means you will have to make sacrifices in your personal lives in order to build a business the right way.

Looking back, the mistakes and lessons learned have made us stronger businesswomen.

How did you balance the business and being college students?

We mentioned making sacrifices, but one area we both decided early on, was that school always comes first. We’re so incredibly lucky to be SDSU students, and getting our degrees was as important to ourselves as it was to our parents. They didn’t need to remind us, graduating was both our goals.

We’ve been able petition.

The students’ aim?

To to effectively balance both goals... win honor and prizes by hurtling leftover Halloween pumpkins with both accuracy and distance using homemade Medieval-style siege devices under the watchful eyes of the event’s King.

Presented by the Friends of

Chula Vista Park & Recreation and co-sponsored by the Sweetwater Union High School District (SUHSD), this free public festival of flying fruit provides boys and girls from all over the South Bay with the opportunity to learn not only history, but also science, engineering, and art by participating in a fun, hands-on project. This event challenges their imaginations being studentsand and develops starting atheir busiskillswe in are design, construction, and ness, proud of that probably costumes. Plus, returning this most.

Why everyone so crazy charyeariswe have the OpenforDivision. cuterie boards? What The Open Divisionmakes is for yours non-edspecial? ucational teams like families, Charcuterie’s popularity clubs, Boys & Girlshas Scouts, service definitely increased.

Everyone and youth groups. See event likes being a foodie. As for why ours are website for details at: bit.ly/sbpsspecial, we feel it’s because all of gameofthrows our charcuterie boards are unique, Friends of Chula so “The that no customers haveVista the same Parks & Recreation a non-profit board design, unless they request foundationthey’ve couldn’t be before more excitsomething seen on ed to partner with such a This fun and Instagram or the website. cusexciting STEAM tomization is partactivity. of whatFriends we think our customers appreciate, every of CVPR support youth developboard specially made them. ment, iswater safety, andfor communiThat includes personal touches ty advocacy for our underserved with stenciling andThis other youth. is adecoraperfect and at-risk tions to fit the occasion. event to engage this community What is one thing that surprised you and build self-esteem. Our mission about this business? isThe to promote and assist biggest surprise hasrecreationbeen the al programs in our community tremendous growth in such a short funds and identifying by raising time, less than a year.

We started resources and coordinating with friends and family, and serthen vices allblossomed with the emphasis on Now our it’s just from there.

Cheese Me, Please!

Charcuterie for Every Occasion.

Order yours TODAY! www.cheesemecharcuterie.com / @cheesemecharcuterie LOCAL NEWS | LocalUmbrellaNews.com LOCAL NEWS | LocalUmbrellaNews.com

/LocalUmbrellaMedia /LocalUmbrellaMedia

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October-November, 2021 | VOLUME 6 | ISSUE 10

9 INCREDIBLE DAYS OF ADVENTURE AWAIT YOU … $2399 INCLUSIVE

Experience an escape to Vietnam with the North San Diego Business Chamber in February 2022.

Never before, has traveling to an exotic place been this affordable.

This spectacular experience of international travel is open to anyone 18 and over.

Join us for an unforgettable trip to Vietnam February 19-28, 2022.

For more details, information and photos visit https://sdbusinesschamber.com/travel/ The Vietnam adventure will take place from February 19-28, 2022 and the $2399 offers an inclusive package that includes 9 days/8 nights.

North San Diego Business Chamber President, Debra Rosen experienced the Vietnam trip in February of 2019 and said, “it was the experience of a lifetime, probably the second favorite trip of the many we have taken.” “From the hospitality

of the local’s, to the beauty of the land and history, this experience will want you coming back again and again”.

Vietnam Tour Price $2399 Includes: • Roundtrip International Airfare & Tax from LAX • Roundtrip Shuttle From San Diego to Los Angeles • Vietnamese Domestic Airfare Between Islands & Tax • 4- and 5-Star Hotel Accommodations • Daily 3 Meals • Deluxe Bus Tours • Fluent English-speaking Tour Guides • Entrance Fees to Attractions Not Included: • Visa Fee ($90) • Gratuities • Personal Shopping “We’re offering the opportunity for the community to travel with the Chamber at competitive and inclusive rates,” said Debra Rosen, President and CEO of the North San Diego Business Chamber. “The Chamber has traveled to China, Spain, Italy, Ireland, South Africa, Croatia and the Rhine River.” One does not need to be a member of the Chamber to travel with them.

Chamber traveler, Melissa DeLaCazada and her friends have been on all of the Chamber trips and she shares, “Chamber trips are ideal for those traveling alone or with friends, and a great deal featuring all-inclusive travel destinations. I’ve visited countries, always dreamed of visiting, and felt completely comfortable and safe doing so with the Chamber.”

Vietnam Destinations Highlights Include • Full day city tour of Hanoi the Capital of Vietnam - includes

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• • • •

• •

•

• • •

the Tran Quoc Pagoda, Temple of Literature (Vietnam’s first university dating back to the 11th Century, and St. Joseph Cathedral Overnight cruise of Halong Bay with morning Tai Chi session on the sundeck Visit Soi Sim Island and take a refreshing swim in Halong Bay Boat pass Thieh Cung and Dau Go Caves, Fighting Cock Islet My Son Sanctuary, the remains of remarkable towers constructed by the Cham builders many centuries ago Boat trip on the Thu Bon River Tien Giang - explore the 4 mythical islets of the Dragon, Unicorn and Paradise located in the Mekong Delta Cu Chi Tunnels, a byzantine maze of underground passages, chambers, rooms and body traps during the War Reunification Palace War Museum Ben Thanh Market

Get your friends and family together and join us for this fabulous trip!

Details and registration here at https://sdbusinesschamber.com/travel/ Deadline to register is November 11.

For more details call 858-922-1766 or email travel@sdbusinesschamber.com @LocalUmbrellaMedia

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VOLUME 6 | ISSUE 10 | October-November, 2021

15

CAN FRIENDSHIPS BASED ON ARRANGED MARRIAGE PRINCIPLES WORK? THIS GROUP TRIED IT.

By Ari Honarvar via Washington Post

Shortly after my husband and I had a baby in 2008, we moved to California. I didn’t know anyone, and for years, I struggled with making friends. I had no luck with chance meetings or joining clubs. Socializing with other parents rarely evolved into real friendships. All this got me thinking about arranged marriages.

I grew up in Iran where such unions occurred and many turned into good and long-lasting relationships. So, why couldn’t a similar arranged approach work for friendship?

About three years ago, I asked some women I knew and several I had just met if they wanted to join me in an experiment. They all said yes. We started with nine and had a commitment ceremony, where among other things we described the attributes and strengths we perceived in each person. Since then, we have met regularly as a group and done activities one-on-one or in smaller configurations. Our arranged friendship has survived the pandemic, while others have been destroyed.

What makes it work are key elements borrowed from arranged marriages: commit first, lean on structure, and allow for fun and intimacy to emerge and sustain the relationship.

This experiment is reproducible because the stakes aren’t as high as a marriage, and the framework provides a container within which friendships can thrive.

Plus, the arranged bit takes the guesswork out of finding friends.

Many approaches to friendship don’t seem to work. People have told me how hard it is for them to make new friends.

For me, joining the PTA and a book club, and attending artist gatherings, an improv class and tango lessons didn’t yield results. Acquaintances played matchmakers, but I ended up as bewildered and disappointed as I would’ve been on the strangest of blind dates. In an entire decade of modern adulthood, only a few seeds I planted actually germinated into friendships.

Even before the pandemic, people in America were grappling with a harmful epidemic of loneliness. A recent Cigna survey showed that more than 3-in5 Americans were lonely, and this loneliness was increasing.

Devices are one culprit. Meanwhile, the United States ranks 29 out of 40 countries in a worklife balance scores, according to the Organization for Economic Co-operation and Development.

We don’t have enough time to

Several years ago, Ari Honarvar began a friendship group based on principles of arranged marriage. The group includes, from left, Mikaela Kooiker, Carolyne Ouya, Jessica Harmer, April Nurse and Mindy Swanson. (Ari Honarvar)

maintain our current relationships, let alone extra bandwidth to make new friends.

What makes forging new connections particularly tricky is that they can be fragile — a disappointing meeting, one misunderstanding or even one social media comment could end a friendship. In our initial ceremony, we vowed to be as supportive and loving as ideal friends. We also promised that if we were hurt by another’s action, we would talk about it, so mending could ensue. Awhile back, I had a small misunderstanding with one friend. Our friendship most likely would’ve survived without mentioning it but our conversation has led to a greater intimacy. Relying on a framework helps guide our actions as our relationships grow.

“Structured friendship and ritual were so different from anything I had encountered with friendships before,” says one of our group members, Jessica Harmer, 46, from Oceanside, Calif. “It allows for a richness and the beauty of each of us to be added to the mix. I loved it instantly.”

The seven of us, who have been part of the group since its inception and are of diverse ages and backgrounds, have different definitions of what constitutes a friend. For some, it’s someone you count on during difficulties.

For others, it’s a person you’d want to spend your free time

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with. But when we gather, there is enough form and flow to satisfy our friendship needs — we’re honest, attentive, and playful.

“This arrangement gave me a space to hear and be heard in a way that felt authentic,” says another group member, April Nurse, 36, from San Diego.

“There’s no agenda, no competitive drama, no race to be won.”

Before joining, Nurse had envisioned meaningless small talk, surface niceties and awkward silences. Like the rest of us, she wanted a supportive group and a container for unfettered and engaging communication. Nurse finds the ceremony at the start of every group meeting — in which each of us describes our internal landscape, what we are celebrating and where we need support — especially helpful. “The ritual of giving thanks, releasing angst and peppering the air with unfiltered laughter is everything I need and more,” she says.

But not all arranged marriages or friendships last. We started with nine, but a few attended one gathering and decided this wasn’t for them. One person moved.

Within the core group, we’ve had our own obstacles. At the start of the pandemic, we held a virtual meeting but a few left with Zoom fatigue, and we decided to meet only in person.

Rather than monthly gatherings, we’ve met only a handful of @LocalUmbrellaMedia

times during the pandemic.

Despite the challenges, our connection remains resilient.

We’ve dealt with breakups, job insecurities and deaths in our families.

When I was diagnosed with Lyme disease, one friend cleaned my house. Others sent homemade remedies that helped with ­nausea.

Some of us had a particularly hard time during the lockdowns and protests that were met with police brutality. Our friendship provided healing and relief.

“I could speak of my fear during the protests and my anger during so much of it,” Nurse says. “Society never seems to offer Black women a safe space to feel anything, especially anger.”

No matter what happens, we can now count on camaraderie, community and fun waiting for us in the oasis we’ve created in the friendship desert.

“There in somebody’s garden on a star-filled night, food was nourishing, drink was sweet and stories felt more magical,” recalls Nurse of our last meeting. “In my anger, my fear and in the midst of my world falling apart, all was well.”

Ari Honarvar is the founder of Rumi with a View, dedicated to building music and poetry bridges across war-torn and conflict-ridden borders. She is the author of “Rumi’s Gift Oracle Cards” (2018) and “A Girl Called Rumi” (2021).

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October-November, 2021 | VOLUME 6 | ISSUE 10

THE SAN DIEGO MUSIC HALL OF FAME

BY BART MENDOZA © MUSICSCENESD // MUSICSCENESD.COM

OCTOBER 2021

Third Annual Ceremony

San Diego’s rich musical history will be celebrated on November 5, when the 3rd Annual San Diego Music Hall of Fame takes place at the NewBreak Church in Ocean Beach. Hosted by Jefferson Jay, this year’s honorees include The Beat Farmers, Yale Strom, DJ Karlos Kulture, Lisa Sanders, The Deering Family and Bob Taylor & Kurt Listug of Taylor Guitars.

According to Jay, the inspiration for the award came with the realization that many folks don’t know about all the incredible musicians that have called San Diego home. “There’s a rich tradition of music in San Diego dating back over a century that many of our local residents are unfamiliar with,” he said. “Our goal with the awards is to lift the morale of musicians, music lovers and residents of San Diego County and generate positive feelings by honoring and celebrating the great accomplishments of musicians in our region’s history.”

Jay notes that choosing candidates for induction is no easy task. “Because there have been so many years of great music in so many genres, there are dozens, probably hundreds, of worthy honorees,” he remarked.

“With that said, we aim to create classes of inductees that span across genre, era, and all the other important ways of representing the diverse community we are blessed to be a part of.” What is the criteria for possible inclusion? “Because there are so many worthy candidates, we look for people who have separated themselves with their character, kindness, and consideration of the other people involved in making a music scene,” Jay commented. “Kindness counts.”

While the Hall of Fame event is not an “awards show” per se, “the format is along the lines of the awards shows seen on TV. There are performances,

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presenters, and emotional moments in what is designed to be an overall uplifting event,” Jay said. One special part of the night will be the presentation of the The Dawn Steel Award for Strength presented each year to someone who has exhibited strength in the face of great adversity. “This year we will present that to children of 2021 inductee DJ Carlos Culture, who passed away during the pandemic, and their mother Tanya Daley Torres.”

What does he hope attendees take away from the night? “A positive feeling and perhaps, some things they didn’t know before about the people we are inducting,” Jay said. “We have received some wonderful donations for our silent auction so attendees may also go home with a new electronic drum set, an electric bass, an electric guitar, or a Baby Taylor acoustic guitar, musical treasures that can last a lifetime.”

Interest in the event has been growing, but at least for now, plans are for it to remain in Ocean Beach, optimally at the Newbreak Church.

“Pastor Carter Moss of the church is a friend of mine.,” Jay said. “We are like-minded in our commitment to our community here in Ocean Beach. The SDMHOF has done everything we can to keep our event in Ocean Beach as long as possible and will continue to until the event outgrows the venues available in OB.” He points out that the Hall of Fame ceremony “is not a partying and drinking- based event so the beautiful room at the Newbreak Church in Ocean Beach lends itself to the kind of reverence and attention we are looking for, for our event. It’s perfect where we are `right now. “ While the Hall of Fame ceremony has been keeping Jay busy in recent weeks, he is also working on other projects. Among them is “The Hunt for the Holiday Spirit,” “an inclusivity initiative/animated holiday musical series designed to show the world what folks with disabilities are capable of when given proper opportunity,” Jay explained. “It stars a fully inclusive cast of voice actors and is based on a series of plays I directed at a day center for adults with developmental disabilities in El Cajon from 2014 to 2017.” Beyond visual arts, he @LocalUmbrellaMedia

remains an incredibly prolific musician. Jay is currently completing a five-record set called, “Spring.” “It is acoustic and features many songs that I wrote for 2016’s Operation 365 2, in which I shared three videos and a blog every day for a year, including an original song, and a cover song daily, 86 songs in all.”

While he’s looking forward to these next items on his schedules, he’s happy with the progress and reception of the Hall of Fame. “The two events we’ve had so far been unforgettable, moving events,” he said. “The inductees and attendees have embraced what we are doing. When I informed one of the inductees this year, they were moved to tears. That may have elicited a couple of tears from me as well.”

He considers that sort of response to be a major factor in his efforts with the Hall of Fame. “This is the kind of love and appreciation our local performers deserve to experience,” Jay said. “Local people, whether or not they are big music fans, deserve to appreciate and understand that music is a huge part of what makes our city and region great,” he continued. “Our goal is to make that a lot easier for everybody and so far I couldn’t be prouder of what we’ve accomplished.” https://sdmusichalloffame.com/ about/2021-induction-ceremony/

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VOLUME 6 | ISSUE 10 | October-November, 2021

17

Halloween

Frightful San Diego Fun Frightful San Diego Fun

The year’s last big party before we go into the holiday seasons more reflective mode, Halloween, falls on a Sunday in 2021, giving us a full weekend of costumed fun. With things opening back up there are plenty of options on the night for just about every musical taste and every budget. Costumes aren’t required for these events, but as always, it’s more fun if you participate.

Here are five of the area’s top musical choices for Halloween 2021.

• The HalloGras Cruise takes place October 22 aboard The Bahia Belle as it cruises around Mission Bay. As the name implies, HalloGras combines Halloween with Mardi Gras, for what is certainly the most unique costumed experience this year. Multiple stages will feature an impressive lineup that includes The Farmers, The Sleepwalkers, Whitney Shay, Robin Henkel, Ben Powell, Safety Orange and Nightmare on 80’s Street.

• Back on land, The Casbah will feature costumed garage rockers The Creepy Creeps, The Schizophonics, Scary Pierre and The Slashes. All the bands are great, but the Creepy Creeps show is a whole different level, with go-go dancers and a range of costume choices from Mariachi skeletons to the house band for the Planet of The Apes

• Rocket From The Crypt’s Halloween shows

are the stuff of legend, so fans are keenly awaiting their performance at the Observatory on October 29. Opening the show will be Kate Clover and Playboy Manbaby, but the real question is what all the 3D references on the concert poster are about. No matter what, this show promises to be adrenaline charged fun.

• Anyone looking for DJ related dance music on the night will want to check out the Soda Bar, who offer up a “Michael vs. Prince Halloween Party” with DJ Artistic, Mane One and Jamahl Kersey.

• Finally, there are numerous cover bands performing Halloween weekend. One of the best events will likely be 80’s cover combo, Beta Maxx, performing October 29 at Tio Leo’s. Taking place on their outdoor stage, the large dance space is the perfect place to let loose for awhile before heading back to the work week the following day.

New Upcoming Releases New Upcoming Releases • Music Scene editor Bart Mendoza has signed with Pacific Records. Look for a four track EP, 66/68, to be released on November 16.

A European version will also be released by Madrid’s Snap!! Records, with additional bonus tracks. The EP features a set of classic tunes originally by the likes of Linda Ronstadt & The Stone Poneys, The Turtles, The Zombies and Bobby Hebb • Human / Robot duo Satanic Puppeteer Orchestra’s latest hyper collectable release is, Balance a Checkbook, featuring wonderful graphics, a full

able on October 29, Song of Forward is a five song EP featuring Alfred Howard, Tall Can, Indian K, KillCRey, Piff PCH, Frankie Fadeless and iD the Poet.

• New and Upcoming EP’s include: Dewey Defeats Truman – The Way You Shatter, Crush of Souls – Call You, Jordan Krimston – All Commodities

• New and Upcoming Albums include: JT Moring – Only Just A Man, Mrs. Henry Keep On Rising - Act I: The Sex Sells, Love Drugs, Rock N Roll Society, Scooter Doobert – Big Hug, SeeYouSpaceCowboy - The Romance of Affliction, Skrapez – Witchcraft 2 Sorry It’s Over with an eleven track self titled release, The Yucks – World Gone Blind

• Recent and Upcoming Singles include: A Lens To The Sun – “Panacea,” Angels & Airwaves – “Timebomb,” Dewey Defeats Truman – “Always Waiting in the Wrong Line,” Evening’s Empire – “Falling Down,” Mohavisoul – “Make It Up,” Scooter Doobert – “I’m An Idiot,” SeeYouSpaceCowboy - “Misinterpreting Constellations,”

color insert, clear etched vinyl and a set of Satanic Puppeteer Bills and Coins. Each SPO release is a masterpiece of concept art, suitable for framing and limited edition.

• Nathan Hubbard has a new release under his production alias, Shadowfigure. Avail-

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18

October-November, 2021 | VOLUME 6 | ISSUE 10

Music News • Angels & Airwaves wrap up their current U.S. tour with a show at SOMA on November 7. Meanwhile multiple dates on their 2022 European tour, set for March 10 -27, have already sold out, including dates in England (Bristol & London) and Germany (Cologne).

• Rockers As I Lay Dying have a new album out, Shaped By Fire, with the first single and visualizer video set to be, “Roots Below.”

They head out on a European tour March 19, 2022 through April 20, 2022, hitting Germany, France, Portugal, The Netherlands, Sweden, Italy, Norway and Czechia • Amazing Kate Bush tribute group, Baby Bushka, has reemerged with the addition of two new members; on keys, Marie Haddad and on guitar Heather Nation. The new lineup debuts December 4 at the Casbah

• On October 3 Back to the Garden, which includes guitarist Mark Intravaia, bassist Rick Nash and drummer Larry Grano, performed with Rock and Roll Hall of Fame member Richie Furay (Buffalo Springfield / Poco) at a private event in San Diego.

• Guitarist Fred Benedetti celebrates his 64th birthday with a special performance at Dizzy’s on October 23. Joined by vocalists Regina Moomjean & Julia Picone, multi-instrumentalist/bassist Jeff Pekarek and percussionist James Morton will play favorites from his decades as one of the areas top virtuoso guitarists. You can expect a few Beatles tunes in the mix.

• Legendary music venue, The Bostonia Ballroom returns with a show on October 23! The event will feature Deke Dickerson’s All-Star Western String Band, Mitch Polzak and the Royal Dueces and West of Texas • Deathgrind band, Cattle Decapitation, has their 2000 album, Homovore, reissued on CD and cassette on October 29 by 31G Records.

The colored vinyl edition due out January 22, 2022 has already sold out.

• Coastal Groove is recording at Capricorn Studios, with two songs tracked so far; “Dirty Bari” and “Drifter.” The band is also working on a video for the latter.

• Bassist Nathan East performs on the latest album from Eric Clapton, The Lady In The Balcony: Lockdown Sessions, out November 12. East also appeared on last month’s new Ringo Starr EP, Change the World, featured on an update of evergreen, “Rock Around The Clock.”

• The current Rolling Stones tour which runs through November 20 in Austin, TX, once again features saxophonist Karl Denson LOCAL NEWS | LocalUmbrellaNews.com

(Grey Boy All Stars). There is no San Diego date this time out.

• Bassist Paul Denton continues to perform with The Sleepwalkers, but he’s also started a new band, The Lonesome Hounds, featuring Denton, Miff Laracy (guitar) and Todd Caschetta (drums). “So far it’s mostly covers in the C&W genre,” Denton said.

• In residency news, jazz legend Holly Hoffman has a weekly spot at downtown’s Westgate Hotel. Hittin’ with Holly takes place Saturday evening’s 6 – 8 p.m., in the famed hotels outdoor veranda.

• Guitarist Israel Maldonado is in the studio working on a follow up album to his 2019 recording, “Era Yo.” • On Nov. 2, the Casbah will be hosting a free concert in honor of beloved local stage manager / promoter / music fan Louis Procaccino, who passed away on September 16.

On hand will be The Farmers, The Downs Family, The Touchies, The Tighten Ups and Joey Harris and the Mentals.

• Filmmaker Raul Sandelin will be screening Episode 1 of a 5-episode TV miniseries about radio station KGB-FM at Folk Arts Rare Records, Sat 10/16 5p.m. & Sun 10/17 12 at noon.

• Nirvana’s classic album, Nevermind, is being reissued on May 22, 2022 as an 8 LP Super Deluxe Edition. One of the extras of note will be Disc 4, featuring a dozen tracks recorded Live at the Pat O’Brien Pavilion, Del Mar Fairgrounds on December 28, 1991.

• The Jim Ryan Project has new 7” vinyl single available for the holidays, a lim/LocalUmbrellaMedia

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ited edition pressing of “Happy, Happy New Year.”

• A Go Fund Me page has been set up to help The Spice Pistols, who suffered a devastating house fire earlier this month.

Band members Sppike Mike Muelleberg and Doug Walker as well as Alan Stewart, lost all their possessions, with most of the Spice Pistols gear destroyed in the blaze. www.gofundme.com/f/n6wcg

• Tom Wait’s has a role as a film director in the upcoming film, Licorice Pizza, out November 26. The film stars Alana Haim and Cooper Hoffman.

• Soul icons, War, featuring Lonnie Jordan, have a new best of collection, War: Greatest Hits 2.0, out October 29. The album features their singles issued from 1970 – 1994, including such classics as “Lowrider” and “Why Can’t We Be Friends.”

• On October 23 Winstons will be the site of the 7 th Annual Warrior Foundation Freedom Station Music Fundraiser.

Starting at 2 p.m. the event will feature performances from Electric Mud, Manzanita Blues, The KD Blues Band, Lady Star, Triple Threat and the Offramp Beggars • In label news, Surfdog Records has released two singles by Slowhand & Van, aka Eric Clapton and Van Morrison.

“The Rebels” is available as a 12” single, while an updated version of Clapton’s “This Has Gotta Stop,” is digital only thus far.

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VOLUME 6 | ISSUE 10 | October-November, 2021

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THE GLAD HATTER

Aimee Fuller one-of-a-kind fascinator from recent fashion shoot at Trevi Hills Winery in Southern California By: Molly Galliher

Del Mar is home to one of the most well-known horse racing tracks in the country. Since its opening in 1937, Del Mar Thoroughbred Club has hosted some of the biggest horse races and social events in the country. With the start of the Bing Crosby season and the 2021 Breeders’ Cup beginning, people all over San Diego are preparing their hats. Women’s hats are a staple of racing culture and many of the pieces you’ll see this year are made right here in Del Mar. Local business owner Aimee Fuller is the founder of an online and pop-up jewelry and hat shop that features her unique designs.

She has created a name for herself in the fashion world with her oneof-a-kind pieces and extensive charity work. Known internationally, Aimee’s designs have made appearances on runways across the globe in places like Paris and Milan.

Aimee’s pieces have also become a regular part of the Kentucky Derby and are a staple right here during Del Mar’s racing season.

Originally working as a network TV news anchor, Aimee began to design jewelry for the camera and eventually began selling them online. With the popularity of her pieces, Aimee was able to open her own business and further develop her creative talent. Always looking for new ways to demonstrate her creativity, Aimee designed a hat for a charity event that made an incredible statement and allowed her to expand her shop. Now, these hats are a major part of the Aimee Fuller brand and continue to gain popularity. With the season beginning this month, we talked with Aimee about her business.

Q: What is the Aimee Fuller brand and how did it start?

A: The Aimee Fuller brand is an online and pop-up shop where I sell my jewelry and hat designs. I originally began my career as a network TV news anchor. I started wearing my own statement jewelry on air.

I enjoyed creating it so much that I launched the company. It grew, and I eventually transitioned into working for myself full-time. Later, I began designing hats and fascinators that have become a major part of my shop. My pieces are regularly worn at events like the Kentucky Derby and have also been seen on the runway in New York, Paris, and Milan.

Q: Where do you get your inspiration from?

A: You know, it’s so funny. I always see people get asked that question and they say things like, oh, the sun, the moon, the stars, the earth. I hate to sound like a cliche, but it really does seem like wherever you go, you can find inspira-

tion. Sometimes it’s just a matter of seeing things sitting on the table next to each other. I would think, “Oh, I would never put those two colors or fabric pieces together,” but the way they are sitting, they just work! Some of my pieces are just happy accidents, as Bob Ross would say. When I’m out and about in nature, when I’m out shopping, I sometimes find myself consumed with the need to go back to my studio and start working--or playing I should say.

Q: Do you have a favorite piece?

Is there a particular piece that stands out to you?

A: I still think of the first fascinator I ever made. I decided to make a hat one day and noticed I had some silk peonies that were the same color as a dress I was planning to wear. I ended up creating a floral fascinator in a hazelnut color. I had so much fun making it, and it even ended up winning a hat contest just before I launched my line.

Q: How are you involved in Del Mar’s racing season?

A: I’m really proud of providing a product that’s made right here in the USA especially made right here in Del Mar racing territory. I design and customize hats for horse racing events during the season and also work with women to curate their outfits. People from the community are glad to have a place where they can get hats that are so unique and can also be customized to match what they’re wearing. I’m also happy to do customization for people who already have their outfits picked out. I have a lot of one-of-a-kind creations ready for when Del Mar season comes.

Q: Do you have any more plans to expand your store?

A: I’m releasing a home collection in 2022. I’m working with vendors all around the world to design pieces that are both beautiful and functional as so many of us pivot from working from the office to working at home. Much of my collection will contain large statement pieces for your living spaces, things like crystal candle holders, bookends, and natural fossil pieces.

There is a lot of excitement happening here right now.

Q: Can you talk about your charity work?

A: I’ve been so lucky to have my work featured on the runway in some of the top fashion shows all over Southern California. From the beginning, I’ve been working with local charity groups like The Helen Woodward Animal Center, The Del Mar Auxiliary of Rady Children’s Hospital, and Soroptimist, the

Aimee is the featured singer for “Sing with Bing” at the Del Mar Races every year. Shown here wearing a custom Aimee Fuller headpiece.

sponsor of the event where I wore my first hat. Our local chapters help raise money for women who are transitioning out of abusive situations. With their help, women and children are able to secure housing and other assistance they need as they transition from these situations.

These women do so much handson work all year long. It’s such a pleasure to be able to come together with them and use my creations to raise money for such a cause. Along with that, I’ve also been featured as a head designer on some of the biggest charity fashion shows around Southern California like ATLANTIS, for the Epilepsy Foundation of San Diego County. On December 3rd, my pieces will be featured on the runway at the Arc of San Diego’s Winter Wonderland fashion show where I will also be the emcee.

Q: What is your favorite part about your job?

A: I love being creative and working for myself, working from my studio, setting my own hours. The fact that I get to do that and work with these beautiful items from God’s Earth, there’s no better thing.

It’s so fulfilling to create something from nothing.

Q: What was it like to make such a major career shift? Do you have any advice for others looking to do something similar?

A: So many artists are rightbrained. The problem is, we need to develop our left brain to be able to actually make a living off of our creativity. Sometimes that’s very hard for people to accept and they don’t seem to understand their worth or their value. I would encourage people to get some business background and to believe in their ability to make a living from their art. If it were me in this

day and age, and I was considering whether to go to college and what college to go to, I would have taken more business courses. When you have some of that business background, you can take your art to another level. If you really want to do it and put forth the effort and the time, I believe that anyone can make that happen. Sometimes just by continuing on when others might fall away, you will succeed because you continued with your passion and put forth the effort and the determination.

Q: Where can people find your pieces?

A: My pieces can be found on my website www.aimeefuller.com or platforms like Etsy and eBay. I also offer pop-up boutique shopping and private experiences for charities and select clients around Southern California, Las Vegas, and New York. I have one coming up in Beverly Hills. People can shop in the privacy of their own home, or at one of our beautiful local resorts.

Q: What is your favorite part about the San Diego community?

A: My favorite part is that even though it’s such a large town, it has a small-town feel. I come from the Midwest and the thought of living in California, with its beautiful beaches and palm trees and weather, I always see it as a real gift. I see people around town or at events and they feel like family. The people here have good hearts, and they’re very giving. I think that’s what I love about Southern California.

Learn more at www.aimeefuller. com Tickets for Arc of San Diego’s Winter Wonderland Fashion Show and Luncheon with emcee Aimee Fuller www.arc-sd.com/winterwonderland/

Aimee will again been emceeing this year’s Arc of San Diego Winter Wonderland Fashion Show & Luncheon at the Hilton San Diego Bayfront Friday, December 3, 2021.

For more information on sponsorship and attending this event, go to: https://www. arc-sd.com/winterwonderland/ (photo: cour- Aimee on the set of her nationwide talk show “America Trends.” For two years (starting in tesy Arc) (when Aimee emceed their last charity 2018) Aimee balanced her jewelry and hat company with hosting this hour-long syndicated event) talk show on the Youtoo America network.

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October-November, 2021 | VOLUME 6 | ISSUE 10

MEXICO’S PULQUE IS THE DRINK OF KINGS

By Mia Bertelsen

With much anticipation to try the famous pulque known as the “Drink of the Kings”, we finally pulled our car into the farm. El Magueyal Finca Pulquera is located in the city of Colon in the state of Queretaro, Mexico. The maguey plants towered around us and let us know that we had arrived. We couldn’t wait to try their heavenly nectar and soak in the nutrients and calming effects it offers.

Pulque is an alcoholic beverage made from the fermented sap of the maguey plant. It has the alcohol content of a standard beer.

This is the same plant that is used to make tequila and mezcal. The natural color is an opaque milky and can have other colors when juices are added to flavor it. To produce the pulque, the heart of the mature maguey plant is cut out to create a cavity. The cavity is scraped to start the flow of the sap called aguamiel (honey water in Spanish). It is naturally fermented for a few hours until the liquid is a fizzy, low-alcohol beverage.

The best pulque is fresh and that is why you won’t find it outside of Central Mexico. It was a sacred drink to the Aztecs reserved for the gods and their priests.

Fermented foods and drinks are rich in probiotic bacteria. These beneficial bacteria and enzymes help your intestinal flora thus strengthening your gut microbiome, digestive system and immune system. Many people are familiar with kombucha which is a fermented black or green tea. You can buy it in many supermarkets in the U.S. I had the pleasure of sitting down with Miguel Angel Perez Herrera the owner El Magueyal and he shared with me the story of his “finca” (farm in Spanish) and how making pulque is a family tradition. All of his plants are 12 years old and are almost past their productive point.

“The maguey plant begins its productive point at seven to eight years. They are ready to take out the sap and start to scrape them.

We have a product that is more concentrated in alcohol as a result.

This tradition and pleasure of the cultivation of the maguey and production of pulque comes from my

Owner Miguel Angel Perez Herrera poses by his enormous maguey plants.

Miguel’s maguey plants are ready to be harvested.

Claudia Galvan enjoys her pulque with passion fruit.

grandfather.”

Miguel is the third generation to continue with this craft. The first time he tried an alcoholic drink was pulque when he was hiding from his mom. He liked it because it was sweet and delicious and made him feel a bit drunk.

“When you scrape the maguey it produces the honey water nectar which is sweet,” explained Miguel. “It doesn’t have alcohol and children can drink it. It has a high nutritional content. Even people who have problems with their blood sugar can drink it. Once it is fermented it has alcohol. The pulque that we are drinking today has 5% alcohol like a beer.”

Once the plant gives the honey water, it will only survive three months more. They harvest the plants at the end of their life cycle.

The finca we visited in July had been only open for 15 days to the public. We were honored to eat in the new dining room and have a personal tour of the plants by Miguel. They created a beautiful open-air covered dining area that is made with rustic-style wood and makes you feel like you are at a well-kept farm. Besides offering pulque, you can order traditional Mexican homemade dishes.

“We decided to open this business so that the new generations and the older people who might have had a bad experience with pulque, can enjoy a tranquil, family-oriented place and have a great experience enjoying pulque,” he added.

In the days of the Mexican Revolution, the ruling class tried to discourage the people from drink-

ing pulque. They embraced all ideas from Europe as superior and promoted beer instead.

“Pulque for me is tied to our culture, to our prehispanic past,” Miguel reflected. “This is a drink of the kings. Not everyone drank it.

It was for the kings and the nobility and they had it in ceremonial events. To wait 12 years for this plant to gift to us its nectar and medicine and for its high content of probiotics, makes it a privilege to drink this beverage. Besides making us feel happy to drink it, it can be healing. It is a complete food.”

More recently the popularity of pulque has grown. The cantinas of the past where it was considered to be a drink of the lower class is gone. Miguel explained that many scientists who have studied the properties of pulque call it the “the plant of life.” It gives in so many ways. A baby who doesn’t have formula or breast milk can survive on the honey water of the maguey.

There is a worm that lives in the maguey plant too. “With three of the worms it equals 200 grams of protein in our diet and you can survive,” Miguel said. “The stalks (las pencas) of the maguey are used to wrap meat and cook it. The Aztecs used the fibers from it to create clothing and build their huts.

The plant gives you food, protein, clothing and shelter. And then it gives you happiness and nutrients.

You can drink it daily if you have one or two glasses and you will be fine. In my family, no one has gastritis or acid reflux because we all drink pulque.”

For the moment they don’t have plans to can or bottle the pulque.

Miguel thinks the best way to drink it is fresh. If they put it in a container and ship it to other places, they will have to add chemicals so that the fermentation process does not continue. He proudly added that, “this is an artisanal product not industrialized.”

I loved my day at the farm with my pulque infused with maracuyá (passion fruit). It was heavenly indeed. In fact, it was so good, I ordered another one too. You can’t beat a beautiful outing with your family to eat food and drink healing pulque. ¡Salud! Cheers!

You can find El Magueyal Finca Pulquera on Facebook.

The Galvan-Granados family enjoys the afternoon with good company, food and drink.

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October-November, 2021 | VOLUME 6 | ISSUE 10

from left to right: Dr. Howard & Barbara Milstein, Malissa Sanfilippo (Event Chair), Cici Drummond (Event Chair), Maria Stanley (Event Chair), Dr. Gaynell Laptosky, Anthony J. DeSalis, Esq., (President & CEO of The Arc of San Diego)

WINTER WONDERLAND FASHION SHOW & LUNCHEON TO BENEFIT THE ARC OF SAN DIEGO

Philanthropic event supports children and adults with disabilities San Diego, CALIF- The Arc of San Diego is proud to present a spectacular philanthropic event taking place this holiday season, Winter Wonderland Fashion Show & Luncheon. You won’t want to miss this amazing runway show presented by Style Personality Leonard Simpson. This magnificent affair features some of the finest trends in style and directly benefits life-changing programs at The Arc of San Diego.

The event is chaired by Maria Stanley and her daughters, Mariel Filippone, Malissa Sanfilippo, and Cici Drummond, dedicated local philanthropists and supporters of The Arc of San Diego.

Winter Wonderland takes place on Friday, December 3, 2021 at the Hilton San Diego Bayfront (1 Park Blvd, San Diego, CA 92101).

Doors open at 10:00 a.m. with registration, vendor boutique, and silent auction followed at 12 noon by luncheon and runway show.

The event is emceed by former TV news anchor Aimee Fuller. Guests also have the opportunity to support The Arc of San Diego while shopping at a vendor boutique and bidding on alluring auction items. Proceeds help The Arc of San Diego continue providing essential life services such as day training, employment, and residential living services to more than 2,000 children and adults with disabilities.

What better way to celebrate the holiday season while showcasing some of the most exquisite attire while raising vital funds for chil-

dren and adults with disabilities.

After all, it is fashionable to be philanthropic!

Don’t miss out on this entertaining afternoon of haute fashion and incredible dining for a great cause.

VIP Platinum Seating Tickets are available for $150 and Gold Seating Tickets are available for $100. Tables of 10 and sponsorship opportunities are also available.

To make reservations or for more information, call (619) 685-1175 or email info@arc-sd.com. Tickets are also available online at www.arc-sd. com/winterwonderland.

The Arc of San Diego is the largest, most comprehensive service provider for people with disabilities in San Diego County, serving over 2,000 children and adults with intellectual and developmental disabilities such as autism, cerebral palsy, and Down syndrome each year. For more information on The Arc of San Diego, please visit www. arc-sd.com. Join The Arc of San Diego’s social media community on Facebook at www.facebook.com/ TheArcSanDiego, Twitter at www. twitter.com/TheArcSanDiego, and Instagram at www.instagram.com/ thearcsandiego/.

Leonard G. Simpson is a premier producer of fashion shows and other high-profile entertainment projects in Los Angeles and New York. He is a well-known television style host and has appeared at the Oscar’s live on the red carpet with ABC. He is also the creator of Fashion Forward, an internationally known fashion production company.

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from left to right: Mariel Filippone (Event Chair), Maria Stanley (Event Chair)

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VOLUME 6 | ISSUE 10 | October-November, 2021

What’s The #1 Cause Of Conflict In Relationships?

Have you ever been in a relationship with a controlling person?

It can seem stifling, because a controlling person is always trying to tell you what to do or how to feel.

Isn’t that a lot of makeup?

I don’t want you going out for drinks after work, you should be coming straight home.

Why did you spend that much money on clothes?

You should lose some weight and start working out, then you’ll feel better.

You need a hobby that’s not going to be so time-consuming.

When someone says these types of things to you, it’s easy to recognize their controlling behavior.

You may think “I’m not like that.”

You’re not a controlling person. You don’t tell your partner what to do.

Instead, you are nice—sometimes too nice. You do so much for your partner. Perhaps you clean or fix things around the house, plan or cook most of the meals, remind your partner of important appointments, and you encourage him or her to better themselves through classes or therapy.

But you don’t demand it of them.

You’re always there when your partner wants to talk or vent. You have a sense of when they need you, and you’re more than happy to be there for them. In fact, you sometimes put off doing what you want to do in order to support your partner.

You’re not overbearing or critical.

You choose your words carefully because you just don’t like rocking the boat. You want to pick your battles.

When you do get upset, you’d rather just stay quiet and let your partner come to you to smooth things over.

You’re not going to tell them what to do or how to feel about you. You want them to figure that out for themselves.

You’d never want your partner to think you’re a controlling person, because you’re not.

However, if you relate to any of the above, you are controlling.

In this moment you may be thinking “What? That doesn’t make any sense. I never tell your partner what to do.”

It’s understandable that you don’t “get” how you’ve been controlling, but let me explain…

The Two Forms Of Control (And Why One Of Them Doesn’t Seem Like It) I’ve found that there are two major areas in which we try to control others.

Sometimes we try to control what people do, and other times we may try to control how they feel (or respond) to us.

While you might not be the former, you may be the latter.

Let’s take the example of Tom and Jane. Tom tends to focus on what Jane does—how she spends her time and who she spends it with, how much money she spends, how well she keeps the house, and how she looks.

When Jane doesn’t behave in the way Tom thinks she “should,” he becomes angry, judgmental, and withdrawn. In Tom’s mind, he will experience being loved and safe when Jane behaves the way he wants her to behave, and justifies his attempts to control her when she is out of line. Love for Tom means someone doing what he wants, and he wants control over this.

This is the overt form of control. This is about trying to tell someone what to do or not to do, or how to feel.

Jane, on the other hand, tends to focus on Tom’s reactions to her. Jane wants control over Tom’s reactions by being warm, accepting, and understanding. When Tom is judgmental and withdrawn, Jane experiences a lack of safety and tries to control Tom with her niceness and care-taking.

Jane gives herself up and tries to do what Tom wants in order to control his feelings about her and his reactions toward her. Eventually, when Tom does not give her the acceptance she desires, she gets angry, but niceness and care-taking are her first choices. Love for Jane means someone being accepting of her and she wants control over this.

It’s easy to see Tom’s controlling behavior; His anger, judgments, and withdrawal are quite obvious.

It’s harder to see that Jane is actually just as controlling as Tom—not about what he does, but about how he feels and reacts. This is a covert form of control.

Even if you aren’t being overtly controlling, there may be other, more subtle ways you are trying to control your partner. For example, you are likely attempting to control if you are: • Pouting, sulking • Being dramatic • Being sneaky/deceptive • Lying or withholding the truth

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• Therapizing, analyzing • Dismissing • Moralizing • Condescending or acting like a know-it-all • Lecturing, giving advice • Giving disapproving sighs or looks • Debating • Explaining, convincing, selling • Becoming self-righteous • Complaining • Using sarcasm The Underlying and Understandable Reason We Learned To Control Others There’s no shame in the fact that all of us have controlling behaviors toward others, covert or otherwise.

We learned it when we were children, when we were much too little for the big feelings that come from experiences of guilt, shame, anger, loss, and rejection. No matter how great your parents were, you would have experienced painful situations when you were young. Most of us did.

These experiences overwhelmed us, and we tried whatever we could to “feel” better.

Some of us rebelled, thinking that if we caused a fuss we would get more attention from our parents.

Some of us conformed, making as little fuss as possible in the hopes that this would buy us the love and comfort we needed.

Either way, we were trying to control other people in order to experience love and avoid pain.

We either learned that we can tell others what to do (overt control) in order to accomplish this, or we learned that we could affect how others reacted to us (covert control) by people-pleasing and abandoning our own needs.

That’s why, as an adult, if you put your needs last, or always defer to others, or act extra “nice,” what you’re doing is attempting to control how others feel about you. You hope that your partner sees how agreeable you are and will want to stay with you.

Anything that has an agenda attached, is a form of control.

And it can have a tremendous negative effect on your relationship.

Want some guidance with learning how to overcome the need to control and enjoy more harmony in your relationships? Take the next step towards Soul Expansion with the gift of a Complimentary Session by visiting

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SoulExpansion.com or call (619) 8322750.

How Both Forms Of Control Can Cause Tension, Strife, And Conflict Inside A Relationship Our controlling behavior eventually results in creating whatever it is we are trying to prevent. We control to get love and avoid pain, yet by controlling rather than loving ourselves and others, we create the very pain we are trying to avoid.

We people-please and abandon our own needs to get love and respect, but it backfires when we experience being unappreciated and burned out, so we get angry and resentful of our partner.

We stonewall or bite our tongue in order to make our partner comfortable around us so they won’t reject us, but in doing so we suppress our own pain and over time, we grow apart from the person we wanted to love forever.

We yell, make demands, or blame our partner because we want to control how our partner behaves in order to be secure in the relationship, but we end up losing them anyway because they get tired of being abused by us.

That’s why I say that the most common unhealed issue that people are struggling with inside of a relationship, that they then carry from relationship to relationship, is control.

Fortunately, once you learn to recognize how control is running your life and what you can do to heal it, you can tap into an unending source of love, safety, and acceptance, no matter whom you’re with, or whether or not you’re even in a relationship to begin with.

You are cordially invited to the rest of your life! Take the next step towards Soul Expansion with the gift of a Complimentary Session by visiting our website or call (619) 832-2750.

Learn how this innovative practice bypasses common bottlenecks faster than traditional therapy to celebrate your purpose with clarity, awareness, and personal strength!

Daniel Allen is a writer, speaker, and spiritual & emotional counselor on the subject of relationships (including the one we hold with ourselves), and an advocate for Love and raising consciousness. For more information or article suggestions please visit www.SoulExpansion.com, email info@SoulExpansion.com or call (619) 832-2750.

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COME ONE, COME ALL TO THE

2021 SOUTH BAY PUMPKIN SMASH GAME O F THROWS ¯ SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 6

Teams of students, grades 3 - 12, are encouraged to participate. Their aim... to win honor and prizes by hurtling leftover Halloween pumpkins with both accuracy and distance using school and homemade Medieval-style technology.

The entire community is invited to attend this friendly festival of flying fruit. Opening Ceremony begins at 9 a.m. at Eastlake Middle School in Chula Vista.

Admission is free for spectactors. For details, rules, and registration, visit: http://bit.ly/sbps-gameofthrows

BU I L D MEDIEVAL-STYLE DEVICES. SM AS H PUMPKINS. W I N PRIZES. COVID PROTOCOLS: CHULA VISTA EASTLAKE

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