PURPOSE DRIVEN WOMEN MAGAZINE Often, we fail at connecting to our purpose because we feel inadequate. What we do not realize is when we were created God placed our purpose inside of us. We already have it. It is what we were created to do. The obstacle is taking the time to seek God for revelation and instructions of our individual purpose. Once we understand what we were created to be or why we exist we can submit to our divine plan with total surrenderance. We do not have to worry about being good enough or if we have what it takes. When we know without a shadow of a doubt who and what we were created to be the rest is history. Purpose Driven Women Magazine is the woman's guide to connecting to their purpose.
ABOUT US PDWM is a multi-cultural bi-monthly digital magazine designed with everyday women in mind. We give women a voice and platform to share their story of how they overcame hardship through faith, in the end giving God the glory. We provide support to women on their purpose journey by providing inspiration through testimonies, tools, resources, and informative articles that help them to discover and fulfilled their purpose.
Subscribe Today! WWW.PDWMAG.COM FOLLOW US ON SOCIAL MEDIA @purposedrivenwomenmagazine
@purposedrivenwomenmagazine @pdwmagazine
“SPREADING THE GOOD NEWS OF JESUS CHRIST, ENCOURAGING WOMEN TO CONNECT TO THEIR PURPOSE”
Publisher Kimi Johnson
Editor in Chief
For I know the Plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.� Jeremiah 29:11 NIV
Ann Marie Bryan
Branding and Marketing Director Damien Jones
Contributors
Trasetta Alexander Kristie Kennedy Ward Damien Jones Tarnya Coley Nicole Mason Rhoda Whitfield Andrea Dobyness Natalie Black Yashika Cherry Tia Miller Christina Malloy Kellie Watkins
Cover Feature Pasha Carter
Cover Photo Photographer
Tashina Calhoun of Ada Lee Photography
Share My Story Sonjia Kinsey Sonya McKinzie Danielle Heard Shuntaya Howard
OUR MISSION Our mission is to spread the good news of Jesus Christ while encouraging women to connect to their purpose. We give everyday women a voice and platform to share their story of how they overcame hardship through faith, in the end giving God the glory. We provide support to women on their purpose journey by providing inspiration through testimonies, tools, resources, and informative articles that help them to discover and become all that God created them to be.
OUR VISION Imagine a world where every woman knew exactly why they were created and despite their economical background, past failures and mistakes, trials, and tribulations they all knew they had everything needed to be who God created them to be. Our vision is to create an international publication that creates unification and connection amongst women from different walks of life, giving them an opportunity to uplift each other by sharing their story. WEBSITE: pdwmag.com
CONTACT INFORMATION 4 PDWMAG.COM January/February 2019
PDWMAG.COM EMAIL: pdwmailus@gmail.com
On The Cover
40 PASHA CARTER
RevitalU 44 WOMEN ON THE MOVE
Success Tools 12 START
YOUR BUSINESS NOW
14 6 STEPS TO YOU
Sound the Alarm 24
CAN YOU REALLY BALANCE IT ALL
18
10 WAYS TO BTAND YOUR BUSINESS WITH PURPOSE
21
5 KONFIDENCE KEYS TO CREATING AND CONQUERING GALACTIC GOALS DAILY
48 LIVING A STRESS FREE NEW YEAR
Share My Story 28 MICHELLE COOK
HALL: THIS JOURNEY IS A PROCESS
BUSINESS SUCCESS
16
THE APOLOGY
Trading Secrets
Love & Relationship 50 JUST SIMPLY SAYING: THINGS COUPLES SHOULD DISCUSS BEFORE MARRIAGE PART 2
30 SONJIA KINSEY: THANKLESS TO THANKFUL
33 DANIELLE HEARD: I AM
53 SUPERNATURAL LOVE
34
SONYA MCKINZIE: LEVEL UP
36 SHUNTAYA HOWARD: JOURNEY OF HOPE
Spiritual
Health & Fitness
23 BETTER DAYS
38 TIS THE SEASON
Family 54
JUST SIMPLY SAYING: THINGS COUPLES SHOULD DISCUSS BEFORE MARRIAGE PART 2
always thought I “ Iwasn’t good enough until I found out I was more than enough! -Kimi Johnson
A Word From Our Publisher Before I decided to launch Purpose Driven Woman magazine, I was a hairstylist working in the beauty industry for over 10 years. I watched women from all walks of life flip through numerous magazines searching for that one style that screamed, “This is you!” While in my salon, I have heard countless jaw-dropping remarks from women, searching for the person they were created to be. These women were physically beautiful yet crying on the inside because they did not understand who they are in Jesus Christ. I saw that no amount of money, friends, or men, could have saved any of them, and me, from reaching this point. The more I listened to these stories, the more I realized how much we all have in common and the strong desire I have to encourage women to be all they were created to be.
Purpose One day while reclining on my sofa at home, I reflected on my purpose. I thought about the things I liked, the things I disliked, and the ways that I could make a difference. As I contemplated, I began to seek the Lord concerning my purpose. However, it wasn’t until I was at the lowest point in my life, when things began to change. I was a single mother; my son was only 6 weeks old and my life was falling apart. While I was thinking how I was going to fix my situation, the Lord was dealing with me about publishing a magazine. A magazine? That was the last thing I thought I was good enough to do. Publish a magazine? This can’t be right. I had
absolutely no experience in the magazine industry. I questioned the Lord, “Me? Do a magazine? But how, Lord? I’m not good enough? Who is going to buy or read a magazine?” Eventually, I started believing my negative thoughts and insecurities.
Driven Those thoughts carried on for years until one day my pastor walked into my office and said, ‘I’m not sure why I’m showing you these but…’ and he placed a stack of magazines that he had published on my desk. That’s right, you heard me! The Holy Spirit knows how to get your attention! I burst in tears, and that was the day I connected with my PURPOSE! Not long after, I found out, I was more than enough. All I needed to do was step out in faith and God would do the rest. Now, I have embarked on a movement to let women all around the world know they too, are more than enough. Women Within the stories of Purpose Driven Women Magazine, I pray that you are graced with empowering words of encouragement and motivation to aid you as you travel on life's journey. We believe that testimonies change lives, and when God puts His “super” on our “natural,” we can’t be stopped because we are all Purpose Driven Women.
Kimi Johnson
Our Contributors Nicole S. Mason Esquire
Damien Jones is an Entertainment Business graduate that began branding while participating in internships working with artists and underground labels. He currently serves as the Branding and Marketing Director for Purpose Driven Women Magazine.
Armed with a law degree and an entrepreneurial legacy, Nicole was destined to become a Chief Executive Officer (CEO) and President of her own company. She is an author, a contributing author in several projects and a dynamic speaker.
Kellie Watkins is the author of If These Shoes Could Talk: The Awakening and Savvy Diva’s Take On…44 Days of Random Thoughts and Observations, under her pen name, Jahzara the Savvy Diva.
Sonya McKinzie is a Tarnya Coley is the bestselling author of Open Doors which is rated ‘an inspirational book’ by many readers. It is endorsed by the founder of S A C o n s u l t i n g w h o i s a Leadership Coach and renowned Women in Leadership Speaker.
Christian, mother, Survivor/ ThriveHer of Domestic Violence, philanthropist, mentor, aspiring speaker, and the founder and Executive Director of Women of Virtue Transitional Foundation Inc, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit and charitable organization.
Michelle Cook-Hall "This Journey Is A Process" which equips and empowers readers to persevere. In 2014, she begin a children book series entitled: "Mimi's Book Series". Michelle's purpose is to equip, empower and inspire others to pursue their purpose..
8 PDWMAG.COM January/February 2019
Our Contributors
Kristie Kennedy Ward Kristie Kennedy, the self-esteem queen, is a woman's woman who empowers fearful and wounded women born to lead with Konfidence Keys to speak their truth boldly and unapologetically. She is the owner of Queenfidence Image Consulting, LLC a personal development company that provides executive leadership training to female professionals.
Rhoda Whitfield Rhoda Whitfield is the co-author of A Well Rounded Love Affair “More than Between the Sheets” with her husband Danny Whitfield. She is also the columnist for Just Simply Saying in PDWM.
Andrea Dobynes
Trasetta Alexander Trasetta Alexander is a faith based business coach and motivational speaker. She helps women of faith step into their kingdom purpose and launch their purpose driven business.
Andrea L. Dobynes is a two time alumnus of The University of Alabama earning a B.A. in Communication Studies and a M.A.s in Gender & Race Studies. While Ms. Dobynes devotes most of her time to writing, she’s an educator by day. A proud member of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, incorporated Zeta Eta Omega Chapter, Ms. Dobynes encourages young women everywhere to celebrate & cherish the queen that dwells within. . January/February 2019 PDWMAG.COM 9
AMAZON BEST SELLER
A Christian Fiction author, Ann Marie writes to educate, inspire and empower others. She desires to tell great stories with fascinating characters to show the awesome power of God in the lives of people and places. Shades of the Heart is the first book in her bestselling, Encounters of the Heart series. Book 2 - Mirrored Hearts: Sealed by Fire was released February 2016. Her latest release, A Place for My Heart, is the highly anticipated third installment in the series. Book 4 – Where My Heart Belongs, will be released in 2018.
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A Word from Our Editor
WE ARE MOVING FORWARD
H
appy New Year! The year is already promising to be amazing. We are moving forward. For 2019, the Purpose Driven Woman magazine team will continue to keep you engaged with practical and reliable information to inspire and empower you. As always, we will shine the spotlight on courageous women who are walking in purpose. Women who are emotionally invested in their assignments, and those who are using their entrepreneurial expertise to meet the needs of individuals and organizations. We will celebrate these women and provide an avenue for them to tell their stories. This issue is focused on Women in Business. Inside, you’ll find exciting articles on PURPOSE DRIVEN WOMEN IS ENCOURAGING WOMEN TO a wide range of topics relatCONNECT TOTHEIR PPURPOSE ALL OVER THE GLOBE.” ing to family, love and relationship, health and fitness,
“
Now, it’s over to you. It is great to connect with you and hear your thoughts. Let us know if there are any topics you’d like to see covered in our upcoming issues. Thank you for reading this issue. All the very best for 2019 and beyond.
Ann Marie Bryan EDITOR IN CHIEF
CONNECT WITH ANN MARIE
Ann Marie Bryan is a dedicated, graceful, multi-talented leader with a passion for excellence. She is the CEO & Founder of Victorious By Design, an organization committed to providing top quality professional writing services, comprehensive personal and professional development programs and exceptional performing arts services to meet the unique needs of individuals and organizations. Website: www.annmariebryan.com Facebook: www.facebook.com/authorannmariebryan Instagram: www.instagram.com/authorabryan
SUCCESS TOOLS START YOUR BUSINESS NOW BY: SPEAKER AND FAITH BASED BUSINESS COACH TRASETTA ALEXANDER
T
here has never been a better time for women to start a new business than right now. More women are breaking free from the corporate world and stepping into entrepreneurship. They are drawn it because of the freedom and ability to build their business around their life rather than the other way around. In fact, almost 50% of small businesses in the US are owned by women. Most of which started their businesses as a second or third career, according to an article by Go 4 Funding. While the idea of launching a new business has a great deal of appeal, there are some staggering statistics when it comes to start up success rates. Starting a business is the easy part. Now, staying is business is the hard part. In fact, the Bureau of Labor Statistics reports that approximately 40% of new businesses fail within the first four years of establishment. But don’t let that figure scare you. Owning your own business is extremely rewarding. You just need to be aware of the odds going into it. If you feel like you’ve been bit with the entrepreneurial bug, here are 6 steps to successfully launch your business. Step 1 - Know your why. I said before. Entrepreneurship is challenging and having a strong why will help keep you moving forward when times get tough. I don’t mean simply stating “you want to be your own boss” or “financial freedom”. Dig deeper than that. Continue asking yourself why it’s important to you until you get down to the core reason. You may need to go 5 or 6 levels deep to get to the root reason. Be willing to keep asking the question until you can’t dig any deeper. Pray. Be led of the spirit as to whether or not entrepreneurship is for you.
12 PDWMAG.COM January/February 2019
Step 2 - Conduct market research.
Don’t buy into that whole “if I build it they will come” mentality. Find out what your target market wants before you create a product or service. No one wants to waste time, energy and money developing something no one wants to buy. No market need for products or service is the reason 42% of startups fail. (Blogging Pro 2017) Take the time to conduct surveys with your ideal clients. Research current businesses in your industry. Is there a gap in services that you can fill to gain a competitive advantage. Step 3 - Show up as an expert. Become highly visible online and off line in your community with a consistent message. Position yourself as an industry leader by sharing your expert opinion on news and trends in your market. When people think about your industry, you want your name to be the first that comes to mind. This is only possible if you get vocal about the work you do. Step 4 - Choose service over sales. Chasing sales leads to disappointment if the sale falls through. In stead of saying how many sales do I need to make in order to make X amount of money, think how many people do I need to serve in order to make the money I desire. Focus on serving others with your gifts and the sales will follow. People will go out of their way to bring you business. They want to do business with people they know, like and trust. Serving is the best way to develop a relationship with your ideal customer. Even Jesus said he came to serve. Step 5 - Invest in yourself. Personal development is the most important part of the entrepreneurship journey. The bible says in 3 John that he wishes that we would prosper and be in health even as our soul prospers. You will never sustain success beyond what your soul can handle. Failing to grow in this area will lead to self sabotage. You must do a great deal of mindset work.
Step 6 - Get support Let’s face it. Entrepreneurs are weird. We’re just different. We think differently than others. And that’s okay. But, you need people in your circle who understand and support you. Join a mastermind group for business owners or hire a coach. The road will be so much easier to navigate with a skilled guide. This is not an exhaustive list of the steps to starting a successful business but they are the most important to give you a solid foundation to build upon. If you’re ready to launch your business, I have a free resource for you. Download a copy of my Launch Your Biz checklist at www.trasettaalexander.com/launch-checklist.
Success Tools
6
STEPS TO YOUR BUSINESS SUCCESS By: Tarnya Coley
Are you thinking of starting a new business? Congratulations! Do you feel overwhelmed and unsure where to start? Are thoughts racing through your mind, pertaining to how to get your business started? Look no further. I’m about to give you six steps to your 101 business success. Going through these steps will give you the drive to move forward and the confidence to start your business. As a woman of purpose and Christian values, you must always start with prayer. As the saying goes, if it doesn’t start in prayer, it will end in despair. Once you have Jesus at the centre of everything you do, you are well on your way to creating a successful business. Let me define what success is NOT. It is not the type of car you drive or the money in your bank account. Success hinges on this one important thing—living a life of purpose. “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.” St. Matthew 6:33 (NKJV) These are practical steps to guide you to get started with your business. Having the tools to support you are grand; however, you need to act. Being productive produces results. Start today and get your business to a flying start.
TRANSFORM YOUR MIND
1
Speak positively about your business idea. Do not let fear stop you from starting. You must be laser focused. Start with the aim of succeeding, and not failing. New ways of thinking produce new results.
2
CREATE A VISION FOR YOUR BUSINESS
Without vision, there will be a lack of discipline. Write the vision and make it clear.
14 PDWMAG.COM January/February 2019
3
BELIEVE IN YOUR IDEA AND YOURSELF
If you do not believe in the idea for your business, you will struggle to make the vision come to pass. Know that your idea will solve problems and you are the best person to do it. Your business will flourish if you believe.
4
CREATE A BUSINESS PLAN
It is essential that you create a business plan. Use this plan as a road map for your business.
5
SEEK A MENTOR
Having a mentor can help you become a successful business woman. A mentor will support you, as you tackle the process of creating a business. Select a person or group that you believe would have the knowledge or ability to help you with your business.
6
INVEST IN YOUR BUSINESS
The best thing you can do is invest in your business. Time is a great investment. Market research will help you to make well-informed decisions and develop effective strategies. Read books in your field of business so you can expand your knowledge. Invest money to enhance your business.
January/February 2019 PDWMAG.COM 15
Success Tools
By: Nicole Mason Why do we continue to spend so much time and energy talking about having a well-balanced life and trying to balance that which cannot be balanced at all!? For many women, we have many different roles: wife, mother, chauffeur, cook, maid, negotiator, doctor, counselor ‌ and these are the roles we have before we leave our homes. Then, after we leave home, we take on roles such as that of an entrepreneur, community servant, and the list goes on. You get the picture. There isn’t a way to properly balance all these roles. So, I would like to offer a different perspective. We must learn to prioritize what’s important from the list of tasks at hand and be open to asking for help. I know we have been told and trained to believe that we can multi-task, but that is not realistic. When we multi-task, something will fall through the crack, or we will not give one of our tasks, our full and undivided attention. The results will show it. Times have changed, and our lives are moving at a much faster pace than the generations before us. With that in mind, give yourself a break and stop trying to balance that which cannot be balanced. We have been called to live full and complete lives. And this simply means that at certain times in our lives, some things will take priority over others. To achieve success, the key is knowing which task should take the top spot, at each given time in our lives. Only you can make that decision. This is critical, in order to ward off stress and unnecessary drama. In addition, learn to say no and mean it! Focus your time and attention on what is the priority to you, at that time. Teach others how to honor you and your time by the way you honor it and yourself.
10 WAYS TO BRAND YOUR BUSINESS WITH PURPOSE By Jones By:Damien Damien Jones
sidering the design create a logo that will look great on anything and has nothing to do with what your business actually does.
Branding is probably the most overlooked element in small business but can lucrative affects. In this article, I will share 10 keys to consider when branding or re-branding your company. Everything your business does, says and writes must be done with a purpose because your brand is at stake.
Identify Yourself – You must first clearly identify who are you in your industry or what do you what to be? Research your competition and know what they are doing that works. Take out the time to find out who they are catering to and use that information to identify your sweet spot or target niche. Study the market to avoid making the same mistakes others have made before you.
Name and Logo – Protect your name and logo at all cost. Artistic work as well as names and logos should be registered through federal copywrite and or trademark offices. Don’t be afraid to be creative with when designing your logo. It does not have to be boring. When con-
Branding is probably the most overlooked element in small business but can
Biography - Have a professional high-resolution photo and a well written bio illustrating some background information that led you to being inspired or compelled to start your business venture. It should be written in a way that connects to your customers/audience. The goal is for them to be able to read your bio and believe in yourWHO vision.ARE YOU – Identify who are you in your industry or what do you what to be. What is your competition– in this industry that Mission Statement Every companydoing should Who This are they doing tells have a missionworks? statement. statement catering to? It’s important to know consumers who your company is, your target your sweet spot or target niche. It’s audience, what your company will accomplish, also just as important to avoid and what yourmaking productthe hassame to offer. mistakes others have made before you. Company Ethics - This is the philosophy, guidance and values you will instill in your employees. It is the standard of how they will treat others and you will treat them. Your company ethics is usually an internal message.
Success Tools Consistency – Your product and message should come with a quality stamp of approval or standard that your customers can always look forward to. This lets your viewers, followers and customers know what to expect from you.
Packaging – There have been millions made on packaging of a product alone. For example, it is not uncommon for a book to sell because of its cover or a t-shirt to sell based on how it is folded, all of which can be that little things that separate you from your competitors.
Merchandise – No matter what you sell, never be afraid to create a logo that stands out. You can be a BBQ place that sells bumper stickers and T-shirts because you have an awesome logo and product. Do not limit yourself.
Social Media – Dates and times of your post should be the same time each time you post. Connect with your followers, interact with them, and comment as much as possible. If you have a disruptive person never argue or entertain them. Stay classy and block them! ALWAYS be mindful of how you speak, being aware of things that may be taken as offensive to the people that keep you in business. Remember you are building a brand. Everything you do matters.
Customer Service – Many small business owners are great at what they do, but severely lack communication skills, not knowing how to interact with customers. If this is you be honest with yourself and hire someone who has the skills you lack.
If you give a product turn around date keep to that date. If you are unable to meet the deadline, draft correspondence making the customer aware immediately. (NOT the day before) Remember your customer would rather say “They said they would have my project finished in 30 days but it took 2 weeks.” than saying “They said they would have it ready in 2 weeks and it took them 30 days.”
The customer is not always right! Take the time to resolve issues and make a go to list of offers you use to settle tension with disgruntled customers. Most of the time all they want is to be heard and validated. This also keeps you from having to think of ways to disarm and appease them. Always isolate the irate customer, never allow them to make a scene. For example, simply say “Can we talk over here.” If its online, publicly invite them to contact you another way and reassure them publicly, and resolve it elsewhere. Never let customers insult or mistreat staff or other customers. It is ok to refuse money from a large client if they are being rude to smaller customers and staff. Sometimes you have to stand on principle and truth.
In short branding is everything that shapes the public opinion of who you and your company is. It is the foundation of your business and who you are. The one thing that must be created before your business is even known and talked about when it’s gone. That is why we must be purposeful about our message, our content and Brand with a purpose!
January/February 2019 PDWMAG.COM 19
Success Tools 5 Konfidence Keys to Creating and Conquering Galactic Goals Daily By: Kristie Kennedy Ward Global Impact Speaker
Have you ever considered that you possessed the precise attributes necessary to become a history maker? Can you imagine what it would feel like to step outside of your head into hard work? To become the super shero the world has been waiting for? To leave a lasting mark that cannot be erased? How different would life be if you woke up one morning and decided to play by the rules you wrote? What if you were determined to live by design and not default? At what pace would you run your race fast or slow, knowing you held the power to determine the next destination? Are you ready to change the game and become an unstoppable force? It’s not like it hasn’t been done before. The same qualities that we often admire in others are resident within us. The first step to actualizing a goal is to create a vision that is larger than your valley. Galactic challenges require galactic courage to remain focused under pressure for extensive periods of time. It is paramount that you refuse to become inebriated with HOW it will work and become satiated with WHY it must manifest! Research shows that many women sabotage their success because they lack the confidence not the competence. Tony Robbins stated that, “Setting goals is the first step to turning the invisible into the visible.” Once you have established a big picture of possibilities, the real work begins. Mindset mastery is a major component of cultivating a lifestyle of winning. Here are my five confidence keys to remain in an elevated state and live empowered to succeed daily: AFFIRMATION Every day practice speaking life giving words and thinking the best thoughts into your atmosphere.
AWARENESS Every day take notice of your emotions and situations that trigger negativity. APPRECIATION Every day express gratitude for the beauty of all things, pleasant or disappointing. ACKNOWLEDGEMENT Every day honor the courageous steps you take towards your destiny and the positive changes you’ve made.
“
“Setting goals is the first step to turning the invisible into the visible.” -Tony Robbins
ACTION Every day resolve to choose implementation over perfection. Act and God will act, work and God will work. ~Joan of Arc There is no time to waste, destiny is at stake. When a boxer gets knocked down in the ring he has 10 seconds to get back up. If he gets up in 11 seconds, he loses the fight. I challenge you to rise again and win! Get up out of your depression. Get up out of being angry with the world. Get up from feeling all by your lonesome self. Get up from pointing fingers and blaming the entire world. Get up from your obsession with the past. Get up from who broke your heart and the relationship that didn't last. Get up from feeling insignificant and unheard. Get up from living beneath your potential and acting as if you don't deserve to get paid what you're worth. Get up from being incapacitated by fear of the unknown and move boldly outside of your comfort zone. Get up from dwelling in a negative mental state. Get up from anyone or anything holding you down and fight!!! Your comeback can happen in less than 10 seconds!!!! All you have to do is GET UP and get to stepping.
CROWNFIRMATION: I am fully AWAKE to my innate abilities, creative potential and cutting edge distinction. Every place the soles of my feet grace, heaven listens intently as earth thunderously quakes. I am solely responsible for knowing my worth, honoring my worth and protecting my worth. I am not under any obligation to explain or justify my worthiness. I am meticulously clothed in magnificence, draped in a rich fabric of faith and wrapped in the naked truth. My brilliance is a pure garment of greatness. I will stand boldly in the face of adversity alongside the twins of triumph: pertinacity and tenacity until I see the manifestation of my deepest dreams. I am regal and ready for war. I fully awake in the midst of slumbering souls unbothered by their comatose state.
SPIRITUAL Better Days By: Christina “Truchrissy” Malloy (Poetry)
Better days are coming, So just hold on. Because it won’t be like this always. Better days are ahead.
Get ready for better days in 2019!
So just look to the hills, To keep your head up. Because better days are
Coming.
Sound the
Alarm The Apology By Kellie (Jahzara the Savvy Diva) Watkins
As an adult, often I awake with a replay and an overwhelming sense of regret from bad choices and unsettled chaos from my early twenties. Through self-awareness and correction, I began to realize the overwhelming regret stemmed from me not forgiving myself. I’ve always apologized to others for any wrongdoing, but I never made amends with myself. One morning I woke and heard the Holy Spirit whispering St. Luke 23:34, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing”, which prompted me to stand in front of the mirror and speak to the reflection starring back at me. “OMG! I can’t believe my eyes. Are you really starring back at me, the quintessential copy of a woman undone? Did you really slow down to notice as I embedded my un-manicured toes into this dilapidated carpet? I’m glad I’ve captured your attention. You’ve avoided eye contact for as long as I care to remember. I guess as the paths narrowed you began to lose faith, perhaps in me; but let me retrace. I’ll keep it real—it was me not
you. I was the one that lacked optimism and spunk, and I’ll admit life showed no remorse but only dished out waivers for the meek and ignored the naïve. This life we live, so hectic and insane, and customized for only me to sustain.
I remember the grueling past like it was yesterday. We both tried to conform to idealism and capitalism to guarantee biweekly pay, and the more I dug deep into the plush routine of substance, you pulled further away. I just couldn’t dig deep into personal lives of victims erased by gunfire or unveil scandalous rumors of corporate mayhem on the evening news. That wasn’t me, and though I promised success, I couldn’t become the eager news anchor constantly patted with dry powder and ornamented with heavy wigs, conforming to a fake persona for show. Look at me! Don’t turn your head. I’m taking the blame – “It was me, not you,” I said.
Lean in close and look at me now, ‘cause I’m looking at you… and I’m no longer scared. I see those baggy eyes, those blemished cheeks,
t
disappeared like baby daddies escaping child support payments. The whispers became chants of housing market crashes, bursting bubbles, and imminent foreclosures. Only the financially padded would survive. I let you down. You no longer looked in my direction and you no longer noticed my reflection. The bags under your eyes are scars. I did that. My naïve and optimistic strategies were the cause of your…our fall. The bumpy road caused your skin to stretch, your mind to wander, your mid-section to buckle. Your thighs grew, and grew, and grew. It was me who kept promising to walk the bike path and step on the treadmill in the morning. It was me who caused the systolic and diastolic numbers to short circuit. It was me, who nearly killed us. For nearly half a year, it was you who’d ask daily for relief of headaches, neck spasms, and cramps. I would’ve been the blame if your son found your limp body. Who knew a ticking time bomb was set to ignite? It was me. I’m the culprit of false dreams and daily neglect, and I’m only just remembering you in the midst of it all—remembering your dreams, your wants, and your desires. It is me, now, vowing to be true, to be only me, and you. I just wanted to grab your reflection and say… “it was me, and I’m so, so very sorry, and we’re FORGIVEN!”
and that crooked tooth. I’m the blame, not you. It was me that stopped flossing, who kept forgetting to wear the Invisalign trays. I wasted all that money and signed those checks—just to have straight teeth and good breath. So, don’t take the blame, ‘cause I stand here guilty with a puffed out chest. The stress of bad choices, float heavily above my head. The sleepless nights, heavy midnight sweats, nightmares, day screams, and late-night runs to the devilish cupcakeries have increased my thighs…my size. It was all on me, as I tried to ignore impending crashes after three refinances. One would think I encountered financial prophets; as if they came to me in the deep of the night and whispered APR percentages, cash outs and rising home values. The whispers grew in the day and became louder. Suddenly, silence. The financial prophets January/February 2019 PDWMAG.COM 25
All around the world women from different walks of life are letting their light shine by sharing their story and encouraging women.
SHARE MY STORY
Let’s Stand Together!
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In the bible, Paul was enlightened and exposed to a truth he never quite expected. It was revealed to Paul that the God who he had been serving, he had radically misunderstood. Paul was a highly trained man and very educated. His understanding of the law, tradition, Israel history and God’s grace and love had to be completely rethought. Paul was summoned to dig deeply into the revelation that he himself had received. Who better to share this revelation than Paul, a man who lived in two worlds of Greek and Jewish culture. Five years after the crucifixion of Christ, Paul was around 30yrs on the road to Damascus, when he experienced a step in the process. Galatians 1:16 Paul described it as God “was pleased to reveal His son to me, in order that I might preach Him among Gentiles”. Preparing Him for the Glory! Paul’s conversion was the beginning of the process. When his training, background, his intellect, his achievements, all came crashing and he was treated as a common criminal rejected and despised and let down the wall in a basket.
Paul said I counted all things but loss that I may gain Christ Jesus my Lord, then began that marvelous understanding of God’s basis for Kingdom living in which He asks for total commitment to Him. We all will come to a place in our lives where we will need to re-evaluate where we are and where we need to be. Here are some steps that Paul had to take and that we all will at some point in our lives:
Renewing of the mind is the first step of the
process. To let go of what’s behind and pursue a spiritual understanding, pray to see clearly and really understand who Christ is and all He has done. The revelation that Paul speaks of is the impartation of knowledge and wisdom and its proper use in our lives.
Identity is essential in the process. Ephesians 1:5 states: I am predestined to be adopted through Jesus Christ in the royal family.
A chosen generation according to 1 Peter 2:9: But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, holy nation, a peculiar people, that ye should show forth the praises of Him who hath called you out of darkness into His marvelous light. I am an overcomer 1 John 3:16 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. I am forgiven, redeemed through the blood of Jesus Christ, and the grace of God.
Forgiveness is a part of the process described in
Psalms 51 verses 7-12: Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow. Let me hear joy and gladness; let the bones you have crushed rejoice. Hide your face from sins and blot out all my iniquity. Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me. David having witnessed Saul’s ordeal, understood the importance of the covering and gift of God’s spirit.
Perseverance is definitely a very important step in
the process. Ephesians 5:15-17: Be very careful, then how you live not as unwise but as wise making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore, do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is to be efficient and effective. Even Jesus found himself in pain with a bitter cup, pushed forward with perseverance to fulfill His purpose. But for this purpose, He came to glorify the name of His father. Psalms 84:7 states we should go from strength to strength. The condition of a believer should always be progress. Persistence and faith activates God’s perfect will in your life.
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THANKLESS TO THANKFUL “I will forever be thankful to God for his grace and mercy on February 3, 2018. For this would be the beginning of my recovery and the ending of a long abusive compulsive relationship. “
THANKLESS TO THANKFUL
By: Sonjia Kinsey
H
is name was Gambling Addiction or GA for short! He was born November 1990. We were in a 1-way relationship for 28 years! Initially, he introduced me to the Texas Lottery, spending $5.00 every weekend on lottery tickets. Then in 1995, during a visit with family in Louisiana he introduced me to the Mississippi Casinos and their slot machines which cost me $200.00 monthly for 3 years. In 1998, he added blackjack to the relationship at $200.00 -$1500.00 per month and many times my entire paycheck. During this 1-way relationship he stole many of my core values-family, honesty, spirituality, relationships, love, self esteem and time. He completely controlled the relationship and my mind. On February 3, 2018, he had such complete control, he actually convinced me to jump off the Mississippi River Bridge. I was no longer valuable to him because I was broke. I parked my car in the middle of the bridge. As I prepared to jump, I asked God to please forgive me, an immediately I heard a bird land on my windshield. When I looked back, Glory be to God I saw my son’s face. I realized that God had sent a bird with my son's face as my saving grace! Crying out to God I ask that he would remove this desire for gambling from my heart. It is almost unexplainable but he did it! I felt a huge sense of peace. My vehicle appeared to be the only vehicle on the bridge that day. It was amazing to see that as I drove away the bird flew alongside the car until I exited the bridge.
January/February 2019 PDWMAG.COM 30
Share My Story
Upon returning from treatment, I shared this story with someone I trusted and respected and she used it to cause me a great deal of humiliation and embarrassment within my small community. I immediately recognized that it was the trick of the devil trying to send me back to depression and then ultimately the casino. I began to praise and thank God and he whispered “Use this test as your testimony!”
On February 8th, I checked into an inpatient gambling addiction treatment center-CORE. During, this 28 day program, I learned so much about this compulsive addiction and the tactics the casinos use to cause this addictive nature. Most importantly, I found out that GA was just a symptom of the real illness that I was suffering from which was Depression! I was using gambling to block out depression and to make me feel like I had complete control of my life when in reality I had lost all control! During treatment I fell in love with someone who loves me, who doesn’t steal my money, spends quality time with my son, family and friends. I fell in love with someone who is so thankful to God that he saw fit to save a wretch like me. I fell in love with me! . I will be in recovery for the rest of my life! However, I know God turned my mess into my message! I have been off the bet (OTB) for the past 125 days as of June 8th and I'm loving my new life! I now have peace within my soul. A peace that truly surpasses all understanding. I lost so much to this compulsive addiction to include an enormous amount of time and money, a wonderful relationship with a man that I truly love, a few friends and possibly my job. Thankfully, I'm writing new chapters to my life and sharing this testimony is only the beginning.
I begin and end my day by reciting the Psalms 23. I keep myself occupied by reading scriptures and listen to motivational/inspirational sermons from TD Jake's, Ricki Rush, Joyce Meyer and Dr. Jazz. I now spend quality time with my son and my family. I also consult, proctor and teach Servsafe Certification classes on weekends to stay focused. To anyone out there suffering with any form of addiction, know that there is life beyond your addiction! Pray, ask God to remove the desire, believe in your heart and keep the faith. God will resurrect you with new life and new grace which he gives freely to all! He did it for me and he will do it for you! I will forever be thankful to God and my family and friends who continue to encourage, support and believe in the new me! I am currently writing my autobiography and if you would like to be a part of my upcoming book release email me at consign3divas@aol.com.
Suicide Prevention Hotline 1-800-784-2433 National Council on Problem Gambling1-800-522-4700 NDMDA Depression Hotline1-800-784-2433
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I Am... By: Danielle Heard I am born on December 23, 1964 in Atlantic City, New Jersey. I am living with my grandparents in Long Island City, New York from the tender age of three weeks old to the age of nine. I am in the choir at church, I am going to school, I am forever playing with my baby sister, I am learning how to pray, I am learning about God, I am learning morals and values, I am learning about my heritage, I am happy, I am loved. I am a child. I am nine years old. I am introduced to a woman who says she’s my mother and a man who is her husband. He is my step-father. I am introduced to a little girl and a little boy. They are my younger sister and brother. They are twins. They are new to me. I am the oldest of five children. I am the lightest. I am confused. I am moving away from my grandmothers’ house to a new home with these new people.
“I am scared, confused and sad. I am asking lots of questions. I get no answers. I am asking lots of questions. I get no answers. I am asking lots of questions. I am smacked.”
first and only child. I have a daughter. I am thirty-one. I am hurting. My silence is no longer silent. I am helping my sister. I am talking. I am showing my mother my diaries since it started. I am not to be believed. I am called a liar. I am smacked in the face. I am no longer welcomed in my mother’s home. I am hurting. I am going through trials and tribulations of life. I am weak. I am lost. I am on the altar. I am crying for help. I am not heard. I am tired of feeling sorry, blamed, shamed and guilty. I am found. I am getting up. I am thankful. I am grateful. I love myself. I am forgiving myself. I am not blaming myself. I understand my pain. I am a woman, a mother, a grandmother, a sister, an aunt, a cousin, a friend, college student and a child of God. I am standing, holding my head up high, breathing fresh air, hearing the sounds of blackness. I am alive…I am free… I am HEARD.
I am learning how to wash dishes, care for my younger sisters and brothers. I am learning to listen and listen to learn. I am obedient. I am a child. I feel like a mommy. I am nine. I am touched. I am touched. I am touched. I am silent. I am writing to God. I am writing to God. I am writing to God. I am silent. I am eighteen and graduating from high school, I am pregnant. I am single. I am a mother. I am going to do what my grandmother taught me and the experience I learned as a child and apply it to my new motherhood. I am going to school to learn secretarial skills. I am working. I am a responsible mother. I am enjoying my life as a mother with my January/February 2019 PDWMAG.COM 33
Share My Story
Level Up
Recognizing when its time to leave your career/job and hit a hard #RESET… By: Sonya McKinzie
I must admit, fifteen years ago, it was not my expectation that I would be resigning from my job only weeks before Christmas; however, after a three-month FMLA hiatus, I had some decisions to make. I was under the care of several doctors and specialists and it seemed that with each visit to their offices, I felt that much further away to the answer. The answer to why I was experiencing tremors, minor lapses in memory, continuous nights of restlessness to mention a few. It was August/September when my primary care physician demanded that I follow up with a neurologist to address the questions that neither of us had answers to. It seemed that it was no longer an option to stop and go to the doctor’s office but instead a requirement that could possibly determine the direction of my future. At forty-two years old, I thought surely this isn’t dementia, I was too young, I mean how could it happen to me. For several weeks, I had to await an opening to see the neurologist and for weeks, I was like a ticking time bomb. I couldn’t figure out what I wanted to do in my free time, I was on a leave of absence because of my health and I had never been out of work for more than a week or so, with an exception to when I had my daughter seven years prior. After nearly twelve weeks, visiting three specialists and my primary care physician, I decided that it was time – I had a child, my health, and my future to be
I must admit, fifteen years ago, it was not my expectation that I would be resigning from my job only weeks before Christmas; however, after a three-month FMLA hiatus, I had some decisions to make.
concerned with. The stress from the work environment, taking a full load of college courses in pursuit of my Masters in PRCommunications, maintaining a nonprofit organization, writing books, blogging, and being a full-time mommy was far too much for me to handle. To be honest, it was not so much all the balls that I was juggling but more so, the unhealthy work-life that I had. My sense of faithfulness and assurance created an obsession to be picture-perfect, to appease my others regardless to how they mistreated, disregarded, or misused me. When you think, about it, I had fifteen full years of that which grew progressively worse as the fifteenth year grew. Some days, I felt incompetent and it was not because I was insecure with my abilities but because the work environment and some of those that surrounded me, were not healthy. The company was just not conducive to the path that I was destined to travel spiritually, personally, and professionally.
Acts 17:33 says So Paul went out
of their midst and that is exactly what I had to do in order to move forward towards what God has destined for me. Admittedly, I can understand how and why people who have been with a company for a long period of time, find it difficult to resign especially when they have become complacent or do not have any open doors waiting upon resignation; however in my instance, it was important for me to STOP and take care of me before I decided or even consider to start working again. This was a major decision to make considering, I have a child to take care of and would be losing health insurance which is necessary during my walk towards better health. The awesome thing about having faith in God is the fact that He will never take you to something if He felt you could not work through it. If you find that you are at a cross -road, perhaps you have been with a company too long and do not see yourself growing
anymore, your work-life balance is not BALANCED, your home-life is suffering because of your over-commitment to work or for any other reason, perhaps its time to reassess your situation and decide what is more important, your mental, physical, and emotional health or meeting the deadlines of a job that doesn’t value your worth and the hard work you put forth. If you don’t let go of a toxic situation, you can easily destroy your health, life, and/or career. Personally, speaking when I decided to resign, it was not off the tips of my coat-tail, it was out of the desire for a healthy life, and to be able to live another day to see my daughter off to school, birthdays, holidays, etc. You see, I didn’t realize that about fourteen years ago, shortly after I started with this company, I suffered a mild stroke. I had undergone four different tests from CATSCANS to MRIs (with and without dyes) and the neurologists didn’t see any activity from the stroke, but time proved him wrong. The once straight outline of my smile grew slightly crooked over time, and the mild shaking that I often pawned off as nerves became tremors as my stress level, frustration with my unhappiness with work, and overpowering my life with classes, events, and everything else that was thrown my way. I would have never imagined that fourteen years from the first year I started with my employer that I would be suffering the same symptoms I did when I started with the company. Ironically, my healthcare providers advised me to resign to avoid further damage – sure that the work environment that had cultivated this unhealthy outcome was not going to shift, I had to make one of the most painful decisions in my life – I had to JUMP. I had to step out on faith and know that God would cover me and my daughter – with no income, no insurance, and a 401K plan that could cover me for perhaps a year, I decided to stand on that and God’s will. I am thankful that God has provided for me as a single mother this long and I know he will continue to cover us, but I also know that only God would show me that it was time to sit down and be still – walk away from a deadend and towards my calling – and a healthier me. When it was all said and done, I chose to bow out gracefully because I have much to lose – and losing my life, loved ones and faith was not an option.
Whether you're resigning to take a new job, take care of your health, go back to school, spend more time with family, or for any other reason, take care to do so with grace and integrity. Remember that you serve as an ambassador of Christ in the workplace. The way you handle leaving says just as much (and maybe more) about your character and your faith as the way you conducted yourself on the job. If you are faced with the decision to leave your job for any reasons, always be prayerful and graceful. Pray for discernment and strength to make the right choice and once you have peace with that choice, Go with it. Like any other loss, you will mourn the loss of your job, but like Isaiah 41:10 says So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. You will be covered and in no time too soon – You will “Level Up and Hit a HARD RESET!”
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She Doesn’t Look Like What She Has Gone Through By Shuntaya Howard I was 6 years old when I was molested by my uncle. The reason I will never forget it because it took place during the Christmas holidays. I remember my uncle placing golf balls in my tee-shirt to pretend they where my breast. Often times he would draw on my body with crayons saying he was giving me body art. At night he would ask me to pretend I was his girlfriend because he like this girl that lived in our complex and he wanted to practice on me. Unknowingly I allowed a man who I thought loved me set the tone of violating every piece of my mind body and soul . Every night he would rub his penis inside my vagina and ejaculate I didn’t know what this was about but I didn’t like it nothing felt good I was so scared to even tell my mom. One day I went to school and put my hand down in my panties and there was green stuff. I had started to burn when I went to the bathroom. When I would come home from school I would throw my panties in the trash. I remember my uncle saying don’t tell I will give you a milky way candy bar. The pain got worse and I begin to cry and my mother came into the bathroom and asked what was wrong and I said it burns and she looked in my panties and saw the discharge and took me immediately to the emergency room.
36 PDWMAG.COM January/February 2019
I was able to identify who inflicted this pain on me and when I said my uncle my mother lost it she ran out the hospital I do believe she would have killed him but the police beat her there and arrested him. At the innocent age of 6 years old I contracted Chlamydia. My story doesn’t end there as a teenager I was bitter angry, I was in toxic relationships that left me broken and bruised. I was a victim of teenage domestic violence, I was sexual assaulted by my boyfriends best friend in which they set me up. I was physically and verbally abused in other relationships. Only to now realize God had a bigger plan for my life what could have destroyed me only made me greater. I’m able to share my story to many young women and girls, demonstrating that God kept me so close that I didn’t die in what was designed to kills me. “I don’t look like what I’ve been through. Recently I came face to face with him again and that’s when I knew I was free to be in the same room with a man who molested me and caused all kinds of dilemmas and turmoil in my life. I was able to be in the same room with him and not feel any pain. God had released me, because I had forgiven him.
“
I’m a survivor of child sexual abuse, rape and domestic violence. I’m not defined by what I went through but who I’ve become.
Shuntaya was born and raised in Cleveland Ohio. She obtained her Degree as a Social Worker from Cleveland State University graduating with Honors. Currently working as a Substance Abuse Social Worker, Shuntaya deals with women who test positive for illicit drugs while pregnant. Inspite of a strenuous career, she is a mother of a 12 year old son who is an honor roll student and very actively engaged in sports. Shuntaya was a member of the National Association of Black Social Workers serving 1 term as Vice President, National Association of Christian Social Workers as Vice President. She was apart of Speak Up Poetry Slam. Serving as a Mentor Ambassador led her to launch “She Believed She Could So She Did,” a women’s Christian Bible Study Group.
HEALTH & FITNESS
Tis the Season to Activate Your Internal Eating Clock By: Yashika Cherry
The holidays bring about many guarantees: the frost of the weather will make us quiver, its presence will reunite family bonds, and the buffet list of food options will be endless. While the holiday season has proven itself to be the threshing floor for broken fitness regimens and habitual eating practices; you can take control of your seasonal taste buds and fitness discipline by gifting yourself an eating routine that focuses simply on time.
Health & Fitness
In terms of weight loss or weight management physical exercise, although a vital component of attaining a lifestyle of wellness, is not the flagship marque within the industry. The truly honorable practice is proper and disciplined eating. It is what enters the body and how often it does so that manifests health issues, the weight that we carry and even the skin that covers us. Having a strong leg in the eating race, especially during a time where carbs, fats, and sugars seem to fall in your lap, positions you to control your body's cravings and activate your internal fat burning machine all while enjoying (some) of your favorite holiday dishes. Ditch the "Big Three" Rule: We can probably attribute this foundation to our grade school days when learning about the food pyramid only emphasized what I refer to as the "Big three power meals," breakfast, lunch and dinner. Although practicing that foundation has shown itself to be effective in giving the body its nutrients it has proven very ineffective in resulting in weight loss and increased fitness levels. Less is more: Plan to eat 5-6 times a day; this should be an alternating small meal/snack rotation, doing this forces our metabolism to work in our favor. When food is present, the body goes to work to clear out our system to make room for more food to be received. The constant breaking down of food also assures that some of the calorie intakes are also being used as they should versus sitting in an inactive state to be transformed into fat. Set your clock: Get a jumpstart before the noon day holiday meal is
“
It is what enters the body and how often it does so that manifests health issues.
prepared by starting a light breakfast as early as 7 am. Set alarms in your mobile devices or planner of choice for 2.5-3 hour intervals that simply say: EAT. Doing this will enable your fat burning clock to be working on your behalf before you cut your family turkey. Practice sampling: surpass the temptation of filling your plate and instead practice the art of sampling no more than two small items at a time. Digestion I very delicate and recent studies now reflect that at most the body only fully digest two different food groups at once; the other items consumed from various food groups are left to sit and aren't properly broken down taking us back to the fat calorie zone that we must try to avoid. If using your EAT clock, an example of this sampling method will be to eat green beans and turkey at noon and then eat sweet potatoes and collards around 2:30 pm. Eat clean‌often: No matter what you prepare, you can't undo a rich, wholesome diet. Find ways to modify your favorite Southern casserole and meat dishes by substituting whole wheat carbohydrates, lean white meats and a low source of fat for flavor. Activating our fat burning clocks will only work in our favor if we are giving it nutrients to thrive on each hour that we consume nutrients. Unlearning, reprogramming and duplicating the science of how we eat is the foundation of a healthy lifestyle. It is truly the gift that keeps giving.
Pasha Carter
How This Mom of Four Has Unlocked the Code to a Million Dollar Business From Home By: Kimi Johnson
You went from being an NFL cheerleader to a multimillionaire all by making a $500 investment. Pretty awesome by the way. How did you take $500 and turn it into a multi-million-dollar business? My journey to success is a story with many ups and downs. In my early 20’s, I left college before graduating. I was confused, and I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. I moved to Atlanta in hopes of “finding myself” and starting a new life. However, I ended up working a job that I utterly despised. Waking up every day, and going to a job where I was underpaid, underappreciated, and undervalued took a piece of my soul. On top of that, I was financially broke. Nevertheless, mentally I was determined to find my purpose. I discovered that my mind is like a parachute, it only works when it’s open. At 23 years old, I paid $500 to start a Network Marketing business. At the time, almost everyone I knew told me that it would never work, and I was wasting money and time. I was extremely excited about my new venture until I began to face rejection after rejection. I would ask friends to support me and buy my products or service, and I was so hurt when people that I thought would help didn’t. At 25 years old, I started to think that maybe my naysayers were right. I was spending time going to meetings, missing events with my friends, and reading all kinds of self-help books, while my business was in the toilet.
During that time, one of the books I was reading was THINK AND GROW RICH: A BLACK CHOICE by Dr. Dennis Kimbro. This book detailed stories of people who started with less than I had, and who struggled more than I did. However, these people kept pushing until they became some of the world’s first Black millionaires. This book gave me hope and kept me in the game when I needed it most. At 29 years old, I started earning a six-figure income from my home. From there on, people started asking if I could coach them. It felt great to wake up in the morning, knowing I could stay in my pajamas all day, and earn more than most doctors. In my Mid-30’s, my husband and I finally built a multi-million-dollar business and were ranked in the top 1% money earners in the world. Every woman deserves to know what it feels like to make more money in one month than she had earned in a calendar year. During the tough times, I would always say to myself, “If it takes me ten years, but I ended up making more money in one month than what I had earned all year working a job, it would be worth it.”
Caption: Pasha Carter with her husband Steve Carter and their beautiful children.
On the Cover Speaking of life transitions, what does purposedriven mean to you? Purpose-driven means waking up every day motivated and inspired by your passion and purpose. It means having the courage to pursue your dreams, despite your fears. Too often, we take the path of least resistance, or we give up when the situation gets difficult. When your real purpose drives you, you’re willing to give everything you have to achieve it. My purpose is to lead and teach women around the world about the power of THEIR POWER. Has the road to successful entrepreneurship been easy? It has not been easy, but it has been worth it. I have made a lot of money, and I have also lost money because of bad decisions. I have made many friends along the way, and I have also had people put business before friendship. I have been at the top of the mountain of success, and I have also been at the very bottom, looking up and asking myself if I have the energy and strength to climb.
I learned valuable lesson at every phase of my journey. I’ve learned that the bigger the storm, the brighter and more beautiful the rainbow is at the end. What was your biggest challenge and how did you get through it? One of my biggest challenges was the day when team members who were a huge part of my organization decided to sever all ties. I was devastated. I couldn’t understand how for years, I could have spent every waking hour building something that crumbled overnight.
I found myself at a crossroad. I could either go back to a job or start over as an entrepreneur. I knew that I had to get advice only from people who had achieved the goal I wanted in life. I did not get advice from wellmeaning friends and family members who were not living the life of my dreams. Here are some of the encouraging words that helped me: “A setback is a setup for a comeback!” “Everybody on your team can quit. If the person in the mirror doesn’t quit, you can still win.” “The road to success is filled with potholes, sharp turns, and dead ends. Whoever told you that success was easy, lied.”
Who is your mentor, and do you think every woman should have one? My mentor is Oprah. We met once. She embodies the characteristics that I respect most—kindness, love and a servant’s heart. Oprah uses her platform to uplift and shine light on others. To me, that’s leadership. When you say you're creating the world's most significant women's wealth movement, what do you mean?
I am assembling a group of women who will be equipped with everything they need to be the next wave of conscious multi-millionaires. We believe in collaboration over competition. We have a business that anyone can build from a smartphone; that way the busiest woman can still succeed. We are unapologetically motivated by financial freedom and literacy.
We have a tribe committed to serving and leading by example.
On the Cover We must raise our children to be the next wave of successful entrepreneurs and world leaders. Why are you so passionate about helping women succeed? I am passionate about helping other women succeed because I want them to have what I was desperate for on my journey. Back in the day, during the ups and downs, I prayed for women leaders to take me under their wings and teach me what to expect on my journey. I wanted a light during those dark times. Since I didn’t have that, I’m committed to be that glimmer of hope and the light of possibility at the end of the tunnel for women everywhere. What are three things an entrepreneur can do to immediately take their business to the next level? Start before you are ready. Too often, we wait until know everything. Perfectionism always leads to procrastination, which leads nowhere. Find your why. To succeed in business, your purpose must be stronger than your desire to quit. When your friends and family don't support you, is your "why" strong enough to keep you pushing? If one person can talk you out of your business, your "why" isn't strong enough. Development yourself. Personal development is like taking a shower. It is most effective if you do it daily. Consistently, you should listen to audios, read books, and attend events that will help you become wiser, stronger, and well-informed. I have learned through experience that it is not what we go through, it’s who we are, when we go through a situation that determines the outcome. What do you enjoy most about being an entrepreneur? I enjoy spending the days and nights building my business with my husband right by my side. We are best friends and business partners. We have fun, planning and dreaming together.
others make millions. Network Marketing has allowed my husband and I to travel the world for free, with some of the most amazing people. We have been to Italy, France, Spain, Greece, and Dubai, to name a few. Network Marketing created the environment for personal growth while increasing my income. The biggest travesty in an entrepreneur’s life is for wealth to increase, and there’s no improvement in personal development. How can women get success in network marketing? Here are a few tips that will lead women to huge success in Network Marketing. Find a product that customers can’t live without. I learned this the hard way. I used to market products that were difficult for the average person to sell. Today, people chase us down for our products because we simply send them a FREE sample and it’s love at first experience.
Find a system that works with your lifestyle. If you don’t have time to go to business meetings twice a week, don’t join a company that expects you to do that. Only get advice from those who have achieved success in Network Marketing. I have never understood why people listen to the friend or family member that had quit the business. That is like asking the aunt that can’t cook for her recipe. What's new for you in 2019? In 2019, I’m going to work with a new wave of motivated women. I’m helping them to create a full-time income from their side hustle. I’m giving them the blueprint to build a brand that stands out in a crowd. They will get a chance to be in magazines, newspapers, and make television appearances.
How has network marketing changed your life?
To read more about Pasha Carter visit:
I have earned millions in Network Marketing. Importantly, it has created a vehicle for me to help
www.PashaCarter.com January/February 2019 PDWMAG.COM 43
TRADING SECRETS
Living a Stress Free New Year By: Natalie Black
ell, ladies if you are reading this you made it!!!! We got out of 2018 stronger, smarter, wiser, and better than we were in 201! Many of us are master multi-taskers. We are moms, daughters, sisters, bosses, wives, and a plethora of other titles. While these roles are very rewarding to our lives, they are all ingredients for stress. Webster defines stress as a load, force, or system of forces producing a strain. As a man thinks, so is he; keeping that in mind, how you take care of yourself internally will show up externally. Would you believe me if I told you that we wear stress in our skin? Well, it is true. Stress can cause breakouts on the face or knots in our bodies along with a long list of health problems. I haven't even mentioned the unforeseen causes of hormones. In this New Year, together, let's shift gears! First on the list, go to a spa at least once a month! You need a facial. Facials give your skin a therapeutic cleanse that gets rid of excess dirt and debris that the everyday woman don't. Like a mental phycologist, a skin care therapist or Esthetician's job is to give your skin the attention that you can't, or forget to give to yourself and also give you a skin care regimen to help prevent physical trauma. In between visits to the spa, you have to make it your duty to cater to your skin needs at home. Your daily skin care regimen should be a cleanser, tone, and moisturize. At least twice a week you should add an exfoliation or scrub and a mask. I am a lover of makeup as you know, but there are somethings makeup can't or shouldn't have to do. So many women want to look like celebrities but are unwilling to give themselves the "celebrity treatment". I know you're thinking "Heck I need celebrity money to do that," but I beg to differ! Visit your local beauty school, those students are required to do a certain amount of clinic hour to graduate. They offer fancy spa services at extremely low and affordable rates.
You would be surprised to hear that 4 out of 5 women have never received a massage. Now when I say massage, I'm not talking about what your boo Ray-Ray gives you but a professional one from a licensed massage therapist. Back pain, neck pain, and headaches can also be caused by stress. The good news is it can be "worked out". While a massage can be a very soothing experience, it can be a painful one as well. The "knots" that are built up in your body will not leave peacefully, just as the stress that caused them gave no mercy. But just as you allow yourselves to deal with your emotional build ups, allow yourself to push through the temporary pain. Once the knots are gone your body will feel so much better. In this New Year, we must not neglect ourselves!
LOVE & RELATIO
Just Simply Saying with Rhoda Whitfield
ONSHIP
Things Couples Should Discuss Before Marriage “Deal-Breakers” Part Two In the last issue of this magazine, I indicated that I had major concerns regarding couples going into marriage without discussing things that could be considered deal breakers. When these matters that are important are overlooked, they could be a factor in your marriage coming to an end. Many couples are getting married because of their physical attraction and not taking into consideration that physical attraction alone cannot sustain a marriage. An issue may come up during a marriage and this could possibly have stemmed from something that should have been discussed before the nuptial. Nevertheless, no matter how big or small the issue may be, it should be up for discussion.
As we continue to discuss deal breakers, we must be open-minded and remember God’s intent for marriage. His original plan for marriage should not be altered to appease one party in the relationship. A carrot cake requires 3 cups of carrots not 3 cups of beets. The same way, the recipe for the cake won’t be a carrot cake, neither will a marriage, if altered from the original intent. Years ago, when I was much younger, the mother of a very good friend of mine, remarried a man who was not a part of a church nor did he have a relationship with God. My friend’s mother grew up in the church. However, upon marrying her new husband, she took on certain behaviors to keep her husband satisfied. For example, she stopped attending church. It wasn’t that she no longer
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Love & Relationship believed in God, but she had allowed herself to become attached to someone that she was unequally yoked with. If you practice a religion or a faith, how important is it that your partner shares the same beliefs and practices? This should be discussed before you move ahead in a relationship. In 2 Corinthians 6:14, Paul writes, “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? And what communion hath light with darkness?” We need to be mindful of this Scripture. Do not be unequally yoked with your mate. This passage warns that a Christian should not enter into a partnership with an unbeliever because it will be a relationship built on opposing values. Those same opposing values also apply to different denominations. God created marriage, and its greatest fulfillment and enjoyment occur when both husband and wife have a growing relationship with Jesus Christ, and a similar belief system. Therefore, if you are concern with what kind of belief system the person you are dating has, now would be the time to find out before the relationship goes further. Another issue that can cause conflict is centered around the roles of the wife and husband in the home. As a little girl, I saw my granddaddy leave home early heading to work. My grandmother prepared breakfast for the household and made my grandfather’s lunch. Also, it was my grandmother’s responsibility to get all the children ready for school. Once the children left, it was then her duty to clean the house, iron, wash, and prepare dinner. When my grandfather returned home from work nothing was expected of him, in terms of chores. My grandmother continued her chores by laying out his dinner on the table and then washing the plates when he was finished eating. Her job was not done until she prepared everyone for the next day. That was back in the day. As women, we go to work like our husbands, and we come home tired too. Can you take care of the home as my grandmother did, hold a fulltime job, and help the children with homework? So, if it concerns you that this would be overwhelming, you are probably right. There is nothing wrong with husbands helping with chores at home.
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My final point concerns when your marriage is no longer in the new phase and you are presented with a challenge. At this stage, your marriage is going well; you are totally drawn in, committed, and moving forward. To your surprise, your spouse is now expressing the desire to include others in your marriage—that is, engaging in an open marriage. Do not allow anyone or your love for anyone to force you into an ungodly situation. God’s intent for marriage is between one man and one woman. God and God alone is the third party in your marriage.
All of this could possibly have been avoided, had the questions been asked before the wedding day. If you are single, discuss all your concerns, before moving forward into marriage. Discuss your deal breakers before you get married. I’m just simply saying.
If you have a topic or a question you would like to have answered email: justsimplysaying@gmail.com Blessings and Much Love
Love & Relationship
crazy about somebody,
like
straight jacket, padded walls, there's no me without you crazy. Like always thinking about you even when I shouldn't be thinking about you. You make all the hurt I have ever endured worth it. Because you see, if I hadn't been broken
who would be willing to put me back together, other than God? I know God sent you. He had to. I think what scares me the most is simple. Every day, you remind me that you're a work in progress and God is cleaning you up. Well, every day since March 29th, all I do before I go to bed, is thank God for saving you for me. I know that this is new, and we still have that new car smell, but I also know, I love you. I love you like Coretta loved Martin. She knew he had flaws, but she loved every fiber of that man anyway. I am starting to think you eavesdropped on my conversations with God
If you're reading this article, I need you to understand that you came after me first and though I didn't bite for years,
I can assure you, I am well worth the wait. I can't wait to tell I'm here now.
our kids this story. I'm going to tell them the truth. It goes a little something like this. Your dad was stalking your mom. Don't get freaked out, I'd stalk me too if I were him. Back then, I had a boyfriend, so I wouldn't give him the time of day. I guess you could say good things come to those who wait; because here we are. Here you are. I'll spare you all the details. Just know our story is one of a kind—simply beautiful. Our story was pre-written, so this article is well before it’s time. The pages have
God's handwriting all over them. He's wayyyy too good to me to be compared to a superhero; he's something like an earth angel. His presence is di-
vine, and it gets me every time. I poured my heart out in this article, line by line. I'm wayyyy too far in, to turn back now. This was God's plan. I always knew love was real but supernatural love is something different. Now, I understand.
A Poem By: Andrea Dobynes
I never knew love like this. I never knew that you could be
because you are exactly who I've been praying for and then some.
SUPERNATURAL LOVE
If I try to write a book about you, I’m sure I'd run out of pages. There really aren't enough stages to tell the world through poetry how blessed I am to be your girl. You make my soul sing. Like sing! Sing, the greatest Motown songs.
FAMILY
Blended Families Personal Advice to Live By with Tia Miller
What are some topics of discussions couples should have with each other before or even after they make it official concerning blended families?
What I have learned from being a part of a blended family growing up as a child and now being married into a blended family is that couples should definitely discuss parenting styles. This is very important before marrying into a blended family. Since everyone grow up differently and are accustomed to different ways of raising kids, it’s very important to understand each other’s expectations when comes to raising kids. People don’t think about how different views on raising kids can affect both the children and the marriage. I am actually guilty of this but boy did I learn fast. What are some of the hardest issues to overcome within blended families? I would say some of the hardest issues to overcome are raising kids and being in two different places in life. Let me explain the being in two different places in life thing because Lord did I learn some things on this topic. (laughing) When I married my husband, he did not have any kids. I, on the other hand had two children. I had my first child at 19, so I did not have the chance to enjoy life and do the things that I wanted to do because I was always with child or children. My husband, on the other hand had already enjoyed life and traveled the world and was ready to settle down and have more kids. We were wanting two things out of life and it caused conflict and resentment. I was not thinking about this before we married. When I met my husband, I was just so overjoyed and filled with relief that I had finally found a man to partner with me, love me the way I wanted to be loved and most of all help me raise my kids. There are a lot of single mothers out there who can relate to how hard it is raising kids on their own, so when you finally find that one man who is willing to love your kids unconditionally, you don’t think about all the other logistical stuff.
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How should families address their different parenting styles? I feel that both of them should be honest about how they view parenting. Being honest about it in the beginning will definitely eliminate issues later on in the marriage. I also feel that it would be a good idea to even go to family and couples counseling before getting married. People tend to raise their own children how they were raised most of the time. I am not saying this is always the case but majority of the time we tend to mock how our own parents did things. For example, I grew up as an only child and my mom and step-dad pretty much gave me what I wanted and were more lenient and relaxed when it came to parenting me. My husband on the other hand had a totally different experience. He grew up with siblings and they were all raised by his dad in a single parent household. His dad was more on the stricter side because he had to raise 3 kids on his own. My husband tends to be a little stricter than me, which can be a good thing but in the beginning that was hard for me. I never had to ask could I get something out of the kitchen. As a child, my mom believed in me having a voice. My husband on the other hand was wanting to raise our kids what I would call the old fashioned way. (Laughing) In the beginning, I wasn’t having that but we learned from each other and ended up incorporating both of our parenting styles together. This is why it’s very important to be very truthful about this issue in the very beginning How does blended families affect the children?
Depending on the child’s age, it can have a big effect on them. When a child is accustomed to being raised a certain way and then another parent steps in with different rules and ways of doing things, it can cause the child to go into defense mode. For me, I experienced both, not having any issues with one child to having extreme issues with the other child. My son was 10 months when I met my husband, so he did not know any better or what was going on but my daughter on the other hand who was 6 had
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serious issues with this man that she barely knows coming in putting a stop to all the things that I was so lenient with. I must say that I did not make it any better because I would get upset when my husband would be strict towards my daughter. Little did I know, she was playing devil’s advocate and playing us against each other. This is why it is very important for both parents to have good communication. What is some parenting advice you who offer to those in blended families? My advice to couples who marry into a blended family is to communicate with each other and be truthful about how you are feeling. It’s not good for the marriage or the kids for the parents to suppress how they feel. This is how resentment starts. Also, never let the kids hear you discuss issues that are concerning them. Kids are so smart and they will use that to their advantage. Are there any benefits to blended families? There are several benefits to being a part of a blended family. The first benefit that I would say is the merging of two families can help with financial support and taking all the stress off of one parent. Another benefit that I see is being raised in a blended family help the kids learn problem solving skills. Since there are challenges that blended families have to overcome, kids learn how to cope and solve
issues effectively, which can help them in their adult hood. One other thing that I see is when you combine families together, there is a lot more love to go around and children really can benefit from that. The children gain more siblings, grandparents and other family members, which is very helpful and healthy for the child and we all know that it takes a village to raise a child. Can you share a funny experience you and your husband have had within your blended family?
Okay, I have several but I know that I only have time for one. As I said earlier in our interview, my husband did not have any children of his own, so he always wanted his own kids. After trying for three years, we were blessed with twin girls. Well, my husband became this over protective dad over the twins. I kind of knew that he would be that parent. (laughing). Well, fast forward to after having the babies. The babies had to go for their first check-up to their pediatrician and my husband was driving me crazy before we even made it to the appointment. He was trying to make sure everything was perfect and ended up leaving the baby bag home with the bottles and diapers in it but that’s another story. (laughing)… So, we pull up to the doctor’s office, which was full that day for some reason. We could not find a park close to the building and it was really cold outside. I had them in December, so you imagine how the weather was. After finally finding a park, I hear my husband saying out of nowhere, “I know this heffa is not outside smoking in front of a pediatrician’s office”. So, I look out the window to see this lady puffing away on a cigarette. I am thinking to myself, all we have to do is cover the babies up and walk into the doctor’s office. They are not going to be affected by second hand smoke from just walking pass someone. Now, my husband is the type who never really gets mad and I had never heard him say a cuss word in the 5 years that I had known him. So, my husband pull out of the parking space fast to go look for another parking space. Now, we are already late. He then get really mad after realizing that there were no
other parking spaces available but the one beside the lady who was smoking. So, he goes back to that parking space mad and talking under his breath. He then gets out of the car and walk to the back of the car and wrap the babies up really tight. I was thinking to myself, those babies are going to die from not being able to get any air from being wrapped up in the blankets before the cigarette smoke does anything to them but whatever. I didn’t say anything. So, after wrapping the babies up and by bypassing the lady who was smoking to go into the doctor’s office, we sit down and wait to be called. Well, as we sit down this snotty nose little kid starts to walk up to the baby carriers. My husband starts to give the little boy the eye and starts to scoot the car seats back. Every time the little boy comes closer, my husband starts to pull the car seats back even further. I am thinking to myself, run little boy run. (laughing) So, after the little boy finally realizes that he can’t touch those twins, guess who walks in???? The lady who was smoking outside. Come to find out, the little snotty nose little boy was her child. (laughing)… My husband really got mad. He then looks at me and said that he should have known that was her child and now he sees why the little boy has a snotty nose. Finally after going through all of that, my husband decides to say to the lady who checked us out after the appointment that she needs to put a no smoking sign outside because people should not be outside smoking. I was just flustered by then because I am thinking, how you are going to tell these people what to do with their doctor’s office. That is just one of the many funny stories that I have. My husband is not as bad today but he still has his moments where I am like really? We want to hear from you! Email us your funny blended family stories to share with our readers. pdwmailus@gmail.com
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